So I lost the rate off on the weapon banner in the Acheron lightcone banner, and decided to just save the guaranteed(90 pity) for future character lightcone(in this case firefly's). But I fucked up.. a few minutes ago I was looking at the weapon banner menu and got Fuckin tempted with the nihility lightcone in which black swan and Acheron having a dance, thinking I should get at least one copy of it and decided on doing 10 pull on the Topaz lightcone banner. Lo and behold, on that pull... I got Topaz lightcone...
I know this is just another one of those annoying post but I wanna share about it, SO DONT BE TEMPTED GUYS!.. RNGSUS WILL AND CAN DO SOME CRUEL JOKE ON YOU!!
Anyway, what's the closest performing lightcone for her if you compare it with the signature?

19m.
17 tried to get diagnosed, I know I have it, the doctors know I have it, but I need the diagnosis to get medication.
Unfortunately after waiting ages for it to be my turn to start the process when I was 17, it went to shit. Basically step one of the process is they give a piece of paper to 3 teachers you have maybe had, with boxes to tick. If not all 3 teachers tick the right boxes. You’re not allowed to be diagnosed. And that’s what happened to me. One of the 3 teachers didn’t tick enough boxes so I was told sorry nothing our make believe mental health services can do you for.
So I appealed, but by that stage I turned 18. So I was told yeah sorry the NHS don’t do adult ADHD diagnosis in Northern Ireland. So good luck with that.
So I went to the only private clinic anywhere near me, payed over a grand and got stung along for a year. Being told at the start that I have it 100% just need to wait a couple weeks for the report. A couple weeks turned into a year because it turns out that practice was an illegal scam. Got the money back but at this stage I’m just so done.
I genuinely don’t see why I shouldn’t throw myself in front of a lorry? I hate being like this and the one little hope of maybe getting a bit of help is dangled in front of my face but I’m never allowed it.

Hi darlings
I'm trying to build my own sex-machine it's like a dream to me
Anyone wanna help?
I have the motor so it's not the problem ,i'm lacking with the material (can't define what i need) and i am failing with the installation.
Please if you know something that can help comment me or DM me
Thx guys have a peaceful day ❤️

I (21F) feel like I’m unable to be in a loving, healthy relationship. I’ve been in 4 serious relationships, longest 3 years and shortest 8 months. I feel like I just settle and am always bored and want to search for something new and get impulsive. I act out then come back to my partner better than ever, then do the same again eventually. I jump from relationship to relationship no matter how many times i try to stay single there’s always somebody I somehow occupy myself with and start dating until I get bored again. No matter how great the guy is, how great he treats me, I still am lacking. there’s always SOMETHING that’s wrong with them even if they’re next to perfect. I’ve never had somebody i’ve ever wanted to marry, I’m not even sure about any guy I date no matter how much I have liked them. I feel “meh” about everybody. I don’t feel like I have loved anybody. I want to find somebody I can settle down with and just KNOW I want to be with them. I don’t think it’s the guys that’s the issue, I think there is something seriously wrong with me.
This takes a toll on me mentally and makes me feel awful. How do people know they want to be with somebody? How do you know you love somebody? These seem like silly questions but ultimately I am constantly feeling empty and feeling like I am searching for something I am incapable of feeling. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.

Hey guys, Recently I have been wanting to build a new rig mainly for gaming but I am looking to start doing some 3D modelling in the future, I have just finished my trade as a boilermaker and would like to get into that side of it in the future. My main questions are what would be a cpu that would be able to handle gaming and 3D cad without spending too much money. I currently also have a gtx 3070 that I have had laying around that would like to use. If anyone has some recommendations or some build they have would be really appreciated Thank you in advanced

What happened when I came out to my ex
So we were introduce by a Kendra Lee Taylor (filler generic name) (her at the time best friend), and she was Jessica Lilly Wilson (another filler generic name) . And this is what happened
Sooo. For one, I'm transgender. (Mtf), and I was with my abusive ex (cis woman), since literally high-school. We were together for a long time, I told her I would ".Wear women's clothes, and fantasize about being a woman. And for some reason dressing as one in private helped me cope sometimes." I also had expressed that sometimes it would cause me to get turned on (what the trans community later described as 'euphoria erections'). She didn't mind, atleast she said she didn't, she said she thought it was sexy, she liked a 'guy in touch with his feminine side' ,and she was bisexual anyways. I had coped with my gender issues (which i didn't fully realize were gender issues due to upbringing) , by just having these private escapes, often with her as an audience. She turned it more and more sexual though. Often whenever I was just relaxing in fem clothes she ALWAYS progressed it to sex. Now I had a bit of a 'being dominated' fetish I'm not gonna lie. But often she wanted me to do things I thought were really.gross. like making me sit in our sex juices, or sit with my own ejaculate on myself. She had a weird and honestly sick fetish for stuff like that. Specific to males in panties. And I kinda just coped with life with the mentality of " well I get to have the family the 'good Christian kid' and his high-school sweetheart. And my mother will one day look at grand babies and love the hell out of em, and that'll make all this worth it. Also I want to clarify, Post transition (so as a woman) I would be a lesbian. I've never been attracted to men. Another reason why my gender issues confused me so much. I also ALWAYS was just as honest with my partner (my abuser), as I was with myself at any given time in regards to this issue. So its not like I was a total closet case to my at the time gf. Sadly my mother got really sick. And no. She didn't make it. She went rather fast. It was devastating, tbh we had a more matriarchal system in our household, despite our father being a religious zealot. She ran the home, and he normally caved to what she wanted. I became so deeply depressed I was going to genuinely kill myself. Eventually one day I just told my partner, " I need to explore my fem side and figure out what this gender issue is, and I need to fully explore it, to see if my feminine side is just latent desires I couldn't act on when younger or if I was actually trans. " she VERY reluctantly , and angrily one day took me to get some clothes of my own. A padded bra, multiple women's underwear, and some thigh highs, and agreed to let me continue to borrow some of her stuff, until I got more items. We began exploring. Well I did, she kept trying to fetishize it, and when I told her no, or when I stayed dressed even after sex. She would get beyond huffy with me. She started getting more and more mean to me as I continued to explore in a non sexualized way. I eventually one night extremely scared and sobbing, told her I was trans and there was nothing anyone could do to fix it. So I braced for impact, expecting her to break up with me. I was astounded she said " There is nothing wrong with you, its the 2020s, and people are becoming more accepting now." I was terrified, knowing my dad was never gonna accept it, and my brothers were a coin toss, though I knew my.younger one most likely wouldn't care. And I didn't think my older one really would either but still. Hiwever as I continued in my path to coming out as a transwoman. She got more and more verbally and maliciously abusive, she sabotaged things I was beginning to try, she berated me constantly and even tried to delay my coming out. I eventually started dressing as a woman full time, except at work. And around my bio family. I started hrt in private, except my partner and her parents knew. (She was my abuser not my partner). She turned from a sweet borderline feminist, and fairly sensible liberal gal, to an irl reddit cringelord for lack of a better term. She started taking these really jacked up takes, that she never espoused before, and calling me names like " gender retard". I kept pleading with her to stop, that if she wanted to break up we just could, I'd need some time to find a place, but everything could be amicable (btw I was clear that this option always was on the table), and It was ok if she didn't wanna stay alot of couples split after a transition and that doesn't make you a bigot. But if you want to keep trying, please stop mistreating me. Several of my friends had wanted me to dump her for how she was acting. But I foolishly believed she loved me and was just having a hard time. But eventually she dumped me and at the worst time, I had lost a job , got a new job, and had to leave it for safety reasons and was basically financially dependent on her, despite wanting to leave but needing an exit strategy. She turned our new apartment (after we fled her parents house) into a horror house. I still to this day have nightmares of waking up on the couch with her about to walk through the door. The abuse was horrible. At one point comongntoca head with her brutally beating me black and blue. I didnt fight back. Within a few weeks I was on sidewalks. We had a savings account that I had helped build for over SEVEN years. And it was in her name. And she kept all of it. I was homeless and still technically am. But am housed. I don't know how to have peace. I see her when I close my eyes. I hear her insults in my head. And I'm STILL recovering from her financial abuse. What do I do? Please...

Hi, I am currently a high school student doing a high school research project. I would like to know how, in any way shape or form, social media has affected your behavior and how you might view yourself as a person. In this regard, I would prefer if you are between the ages of 10 and 20 because I mainly focus on the effects on adolescents in the US, but any response would be appreciated! The survey itself shouldn't take longer than 10 minutes. A response count of above 50 would be ideal, but more certainly is preferred. Thank you for taking your time. https://forms.gle/7JkQaghkDKQekSVY9

Guise, i am looseeeen my fucking mind over Amberlynn’s newest personality. I know it’s been going on for a while now but i officially CANNOT listen to it anymore. I only watch through reaction channels but every time it’ a newer video i actually have to find something else because i HATE THE WAY SHE SPEAKS! What IS THAT?! I am not American and dont understand if it’s a certain accent she’s going for?? Whats with the high pitch ending of every sentence like everything is a question?? And why did her voice all of a sudden become super deep? She’s never had such a deep voice before it sounds so unnatural like she does it on purpose. And more importantly WHAT IS THE WEIRD LAZY HALF WORD WAY OF SPEAKING, like she just leaves out the ending of words, i dont know how to explain it but it’s like she’s trying to sound sexy or something?? Like “what” become “whah”, “that” = “thah”, “back = bahhc” do you know what i mean??? I hate it with such a passion and i need to hear someone agree with my anger because i’m just that kind of gorlie pop. Is that way of speaking a common thing?? Enlighten me please. Again i am sorry if this is a bad explanation, English is not my first language and i’m just trying to translate my quirky thoughtprocess about our quirky gorl 💅

I (25 NB) met my friend (26 NB) at work, we have the same position at work and usually end up paired with each other. We get along great and have a lot of similar interests. I’ve given them rides home from work a lot cause we live near each other, and I thought we’d developed a strong friendship. They’ve worked at the company a little longer than I have, I’ve been working there since August. We’ve only been friends really since Januaryish when I got promoted.
Anyways they kept requesting we hang out together outside of work, I didn’t see this as odd because we’ve hung out together outside of work as a friend group, I have many friends at my job and we usually do group outings or parties, so it wasn’t odd to me that they wanted to hang out. The day they wanted to go out, none of my roommates were available to go with. 2 out of 3 of my roommates (25 M, 23 F and 25 M) work at the same business. So I went with them on my own, they seemed ecstatic that it was just the 2 of us. I picked them up and we initially just planned to go to the mall. We walked around, talked, bought stuff and eventually had lunch.
They kept staring at me which I found awkward but figured because we’re both autistic that I was uncomfortable with the eye contact or they just happen to make a lot of eye contact. They also keep walking really close to me and “accidentally” bumping my hand. After the mall they still wanted to hang out so we went to the thrift store and had a lot of fun making fun of the silly knick knacks, we both love Fallout New Vegas so they were looking for a jacket that looked like Benny Geckos from the game.
After that they still wanted to keep hanging out, at this point I was pretty tired but figured we were having fun. It’s hard for me to say no, and I use a cane for chronic pain so I usually need to take a frequent number of breaks which we hadn’t done yet but they hadn’t picked up that I was tired yet. I was having fun and at this point they did apologize about keeping me out for so long, I said it’s ok because I like long friendship hangout days, which is not a lie, my body just doesn’t enjoy it as much.
Next we went to get boba and they bought me a drink, at this point they had paid for none of my stuff, we split the food earlier and I lightheartedly threatened them to not spend money on me. When we were in the boba shop, they once again kept staring and moving their hand towards mine. I deterred this because it made me uncomfortable by talking with my hands which I usually do anyways. They were nice and listened to me infodump to them about tmnt (tmnts my special interest) but still continued their staring. I kept getting in my head that they were just being nice and I was ruining things thinking that they had ulterior motives.
I forgot to mention that they have a boyfriend (27 M), but they had offhandingly mentioned that they were poly. We then went to a gaming shop to look at dnd and pathfinder stuff, I had to pee incredibly badly at this point but they ignored my subtle pleas to leave, which understandably was my fault as I said I could hold it at the boba shop.
At this point I’m exhausted and in a lot of pain so I suggested we end our hang out after finding a bathroom. They still insisted on hanging out longer so I suggested they come to my apartment cause at this point I’d run out of stuff for us to do. This is where things got a bit uncomfy. My roommates were all home at this point but all left briefly to go pick up food. My roommate who I share a room with requested I don’t bring my friend into our room while she was in there, but gave me the go ahead to show them our room once she and my other roommates left to get their food.
I like showing my friends my collections whenever they come over so I saw no inappropriate reason to do the same. I have some Dnd, Fallout and Tmnt stuff I wanted to show them. I did my normal showing off my stuff thing. At some point I walked them over to my desk to show them my figurines, my desk is in a corner by my closet and bed so you can only go up to it from 1 side, I talked for a bit and noticed I was cornered. I have past trauma and hate being cornered, I kept making attempts to hint that I wanted to get out of the corner but they stayed firmly in place, even leaning with their hand on my desk to further block me in which I thought was strange.
Eventually I manage to slip by them by saying I wanted to show them my shelf on the opposite side of the room. The shelf is lower and next to my bed so I sit down to point things out. They then ask if they can sit down as well. I say yes and they proceed to sit down directly next to me, our thighs are touching firmly and they lean in on my bed with their arm behind me. I’m once again cornered and panicked now. I have a thing with my thighs where I HATE anyone touching them, it causes a violent reaction, my brain screams at me to bite, punch or claw anyone who touches them, I feel sick and absolutely enraged whenever it happens. I’ve been SAed in the past but even before that I had that reaction, my therapist says it might be a trauma response from childhood that I don’t remember.
I didn’t want to hurt them and luckily I have the violent outbursts completely under control so I just stiffened up and internalized the rage while trying to steady my breathing. They obviously know nothing about my trauma because we haven’t been friends for very long. So I continue talking about my 2003 rerelease tmnt figures and let them continue to touch me while trying not to cry.
Luckily my roommates return, and I immediately get up and leave my room to greet them. At this point I’m incredibly uncomfortable and wanted them out. But I felt bad if I suddenly kicked them out and I also was their ride. We decided to watch a movie in the living room, I sat in the couch corner and they decided to lay down on the rest of the couch while leaning up near me. One of my roommates picked up on the vibe and decided to join us for the movie, the other two sat at the table where you can still see the tv to eat their food since there was no room on the couch.
I decided to crochet during the movie to help ease my nerves. Every once in a while during the movie I could see them staring at me. Once the movie was over I offered to take them home. When I dropped them off they asked if they could hug me, I gave them a nervous sure, when they hugged me they put their nose into the crook of my neck which gave me the ick.
I’m not sure if it’s just me but I hate whenever I want a friend or just want to hang out with a friend and they turn it into something more without asking me! I’ve been notoriously “manic pixie dream girled” my entire life and I’m sick of it. If you want to go out with me just make your intentions known and ask me on a date! I wouldn’t have said yes but I think they knew that and felt the need to trick me instead.
I’m also incredibly turned off by the fact that their boyfriend just had surgery for appendicitis and is also about to have top surgery this week too and instead of caring for him they’re trying to get into my pants.
The whole situation feels icky and I’m so sad cause I thought I found a cool friend. They’re trying to get me to hang out with them again (even though their boyfriend is having top surgery) and I told them I have therapy and college dumpster diving on my days off this week and they’re trying to get me to work around those.
I just want some advice, am I in the wrong for feeling weird around them now or should I see how this plays out. I usually stick to dating women and other nonbinary people so they’re technically in the range of people I can potentially be attracted to but idk. I haven’t been interested in dating a lot lately cause I’ve been working through my trauma in therapy for the past year. My roommates also thought the whole situation was strange and uncomfortable. My roommate also asked if she had ever done anything like that to make me uncomfortable (she’s also amab like my friend), I reassured her she had never done that and that I feel very safe with her.

Here is a TRUE Haunted House Story that a gentleman by the name of “Kenneth” emailed to me last week that I am currently working on to narrate. This is one creepy story. 😬 I hope you enjoy.
Story by - “Kenneth”
I’ve been living in a house that is very haunted for the better part of 53 years. I guess you can say that, I grew up here. And lived here my entire life.
And I’ve made a happy home for my wife and daughter here as well. At least we try to make this a happy home. We’ve experienced things that are so bizarre you’d almost think that we were crazy for even talking about them.
Nevermind the things I’ve heard and seen in this house while growing up.
While I would love to talk about everything that has happened here, I would like to tell you about how it all started for me when I was seven years old. It's actually the very first incident that I encountered while living here.
The house was built in 1875. It’s been remodeled throughout the years to keep up with modern times, but it still rests on the very foundation it was built on.
This house… as I’m writing this, I can hear footsteps creaking above me on the second floor. This is an all day thing. But we’ve learned to live with it. While growing up here, and being the only child, my parents already knew about the house being haunted. But they tried sheltering me from it. Meaning, if I heard something strange, my father or mother would say something to the likes of…
“Oh honey, those damn pipes again. We need to call the plumber.”
Or if there were footsteps creaking on the floor boards they would blame the flooring for being very old. I would hear scratching all throughout the walls and ceilings. All sorts of strange and bizarre sounds.
But this incident, this day, changed everything. And I remember this day, or rather night, as if it happened yesterday.
It was around 11:00 at night. It was a school night. And I was asleep. But something woke me up. I heard a voice whisper in my right right ear…
“We can’t let them get away.”
My eyes slowly opened up and I laid there for a moment. I called out for both my mother and father and looked over at my bedroom door but it was shut. I flipped over to my side and fell back asleep.
I heard this voice loud and clear. I know I did. But I think my brain was telling me to ignore it. Well, that was just the beginning of it. Because a few moments later it decided to really stir things up with me…
“Boy… HELP THEM THEY’RE BURNING ALIVE!”
I jumped out of bed so rapidly and even peed myself as I ran to my parents bedroom. My parents both looked at each other and then looked at me like they knew something but didn’t want to tell me. They gave me the old mumbo jumbo and told me that I was having a bad dream. My mother got out of bed. Got me fresh pajamas and socks while I cleaned myself up.
Peeing yourself at seven years old isn’t fun. Especially when it’s a raspy old scary voice shouting that someone’s burning alive in your bedroom while you’re sleeping.
My mother asked if I wanted to sleep with her and my father in their bed after that. You bet your ass I did. I hopped in that bed quicker than a fox chasing a rabbit. I was a small boy for seven. And both of my parents were average sized too, so, I fit right in there.
Alright… Here is where it gets very, very scary. If this doesn’t scare the socks off of you I don’t know what will. And before I continue, the voice that I heard? We think it’s the original owner of the house. Without giving away too much information about my home, the very first owner of this home…
He was an evil man…
We’ve heard stories about him torturing animals, killing them, and then taxiderming them, scattering them all throughout the house like his own little museum of horror.
Throughout the years I would experience more voices, more scratching on the walls and ceilings. Eventually my parents wound up telling me that the house was haunted by a creepy man with an evil past. And we lived with it. We were never physically harmed by it. It was more of a nuisance than anything.
That all changed on the night I brought my wife home to begin a life here with me.
We’re high school sweethearts. So, she knows about this place. She stayed here overnight plenty of times before we got married. But on the night she moved in, it wasn’t happy at all.
I’ll never forget the hour and minute. It was 2:27 in the morning. We were both asleep. My wife woke up first because she felt something tugging on her arm. She then woke me up and told me what she felt. This was the first time in all the years anyone has ever been physically touched by this spirit. This had never happened before so it was quite a shock to me.
And after being awake for about a few minutes or so, our bedroom door slammed shut! Our blanket was pulled away from us and thrown across the room. And we heard heavy footsteps as if someone was walking across the roof!
It was as if the house was coming to life.
In all my years of living here, I have never seen this much activity. Yet alone in one single night.
After the blanket got pulled away from us and thrown across the room things finally seemed to calm down. And the entire house was ominously quiet.
Too quiet…
But then a dark black shadow decides to grace us with its presence by moving along the walls in the bedroom and fading into nothingness. My wife and I did not move from the bed during all of this. We were terror-stricken. And then a foul odor begins to come from underneath the bed followed by a sonorous growl that vibrated underneath us.
By this point it felt like something grave was about to happen and I had to do something. Or at least I had to try. I grabbed a hold of my wife’s hand and told her to be brave and to not fear this thing. Because that's what it wants. It wants to scare us out of our home and we can’t allow that to happen. But we mustard up the courage to face this evil spirit and began reciting the Lord’s Prayer.
The bedroom door slammed again and again, four times consecutively. With steady growls underneath the bed, but we stood our ground. Praying to the almighty to help and asking him to show this spirit to the light.
A raspy old voice then shouts from underneath the bed.
“Get out!… Leave my house!”
And I said…
“No! If you're stuck here like you’ve been all these years, then you’re going to have to learn to live with us. In peace or war. Because this is my house now. Not yours. You're dead! Leave already! Go! Go with God. And Go into the light.”
After 10 minutes of praying and arguing with this thing. It all just seemed to come to a pass. I wiped the tears of fear from my wife’s eyes and embraced her painful shivers.
I, too, was frozen over by the horror that leveled us during that night.
And nothing of that magnitude ever occurred again. And our home stood silent for a while. For a year to be exact. Which was very peaceful. The voices and scratching on the walls and ceilings, footsteps and disembodied voices eventually returned. But it doesn’t bother us at all. We pay it no mind.
Doesn’t bother my daughter. Not my wife nor I. We’ve just learned to live with it.
I know that must sound strange. But this is my home. Our home. And we intend to keep it that way.
Thank you, Kenneth Sr.

scarystories #horrorstories #hauntedhouse #creepypasta #poltergeist

Disclaimer: This story is not to be used in any other way other than reading, sharing your thoughts on it, and enjoying the creepy thought of living with a Poltergeist/Ghost in your home. 👻
The content producer has this story copyrighted and protected by the Library of Congress/Copyright Office.
💀

IDK WHAT TO SAY HONESTLY every time i mention im autistic or its brought up in conversation she keeps saying “you’re not, the doctor just said you show symptoms” like lady that same doctor sent me home a letter that literally reads “a diagnosis of autism spectrum disorder has been confirmed”
Also she keeps saying “the doctor says you were just borderline autistic” (im quite sure she did not because genuinely what??)
she also doesn’t want to tell my family because of my close cousins would look at me differently and one of my aunts works with “severely” autistic children and would also look down on me (I’d like to hope she wouldn’t if she works with autistic kids??) She also keeps trying to tell me about how this was my decision when literally all I wanted to do when I got my diagnosis was talk mad shit about my past teachers that completely ignored so many of my autistic traits and the mad waiting list times
And if she ever admits that yes I am autistic she pulls the “but it’s only level one though so it’s very very little autism and doesn’t affect you” like im pretty sure a disability is going to alter my life in some shape or form and those levels are supposed to describe different support needs of autism and not one general diagnosis (correct me if I’m wrong of course)
Also throughout my 2 years of waiting for an assessment EVERY time it was mentioned I got hit with the “are you sure you want to ruin your life like that with a diagnosis?” Like the only people that are gonna know are me and my gp, my employers are not gonna go digging through my assessment looking for reasons not to hire me
she’s also completely unwilling to learn anything about autism which Is… really unhelpful but not surprising
I feel like the answer is kinda obvious at this point but what the actual fuck do I do is the real question now 😭 like I understand the whole people looking at me differently thing but I also could care less so maybe I should make a big fat Facebook post saying “fun fact - I’m autistic, and i was pretty good at hiding it all from you until I got bored!” And then just post a pic of the little “autism diagnosis has been confirmed” image
IDK it’s kind of funny but also really frustrating please help me Reddit you’ve never let me down before 🙏

I saw a family with you, I wanted and needed you. God almighty I still do. I'm just not gonna beg, I don't even want to ask, I wanted to earn a place with you. I didn't replace you, my life was hijacked. I was pushed away and exploring my heart while I read all your bursting letters, praying that one of them was from you. I really thought so, I thought I knew for sure.
I've suffered so much and it's hardly begun. I love you. I always have and always will. I accept if you can't love me even if its absolutely killing me.
I should have shouted that it was you. You, forever, like I had always felt. I could have broken out, crushed hearts into dust... I didn't mean yours. Every one of us was hurt and I was selling my body. I stopped but they didn't. I am being used in the clearest most direct possible way and I can do nothing but support them anyway. It's hell, and I smile because everything in this life, every waking movement and every single nights nightmares, everything is filled with overwhelming pain. I'm not christ, I'm not a miracle worker, but holy fuck did I sacrifice to bring her here into this moment in the present. I'd do that for you my love, for my family, friends, I'd do it for a kind and damaged stranger. I kept my feelings away as long as I could. I warned them about my past, with peoples hearts, and I was ignored. I was trapped I swear to god...
This is begging, this is pleading. But what I'm begging for isn't your soul, it's a little bit of your brain, just to please please know I didn't lose my mind for no reason. I tried as often as I could to tell the truth, tell her its you I love without equal and you should have heard the hellstorm, my flying in the face of basic logic, the loving proof on reddit I couldn't share, that wasn't actually proof in the slightest. It was just coincidence. I can't leave and it isn't because I wouldn't.
I needed help. I needed saving. I needed to save myself, that was one of the last things you told me before it went dark. I didn't save myself, I died like leo drifting into cold water, some nice stranger floating on a door. I'm in love with martyrdom /s
My eyes hurt and my nose is stuffed up I feel clammy and I kind of want to die. And no, I don't sleep well still. My mind is blanking. I can't stay awake anymore. I wish I could say any of this in person, over the phone, handwritten letters via carrier pigeon. Just something more than shouting into the wasteland.
And I really did, I really really meant it when I said I was your friend. I couldn't have predicted just how thoroughly I would lose myself

I’m in a tricky spot. My ex left me out of the blue a month ago. We had a great relationship, both had faults but nothing major. We were good to each-other. We had an insanely stressful time period & we lived together for a year at this point, we were also together for 2 years. I think he just needed time away & we needed to go back to long distance for a while. Our living situation wasn’t working out at all anymore & we didn’t know how to navigate that properly.
I don’t think we (mainly him) communicated affectively enough about what needed to happen. He just got lost, confused & just kinda dipped. Then, he did/ said strange stuff & gave a million bs reasons for why he left. None of them were true. I knew exactly why he left. He was just lost. He still loves me & I know he didn’t want to breakup, he just felt he had no choice, which was dumb. I tried so hard to show him he was making a mistake & clearly just in a bad mental state, but eventually I gave up.
I went no contact & tried to move on. Then, he calls a few days ago to tell me he is deeply sorry, he took accountability for what he did & he just described it as him getting crazy overwhelmed & he felt backed into a corner. He wanted to discuss getting back together. I told him I need him to take more time to really think about that decision. While part of me wanted to just say “yes omg let’s do it come home baby” I did not. He has to prove himself to me again. It’s been 3 days since that call & we’ve barely spoken, when we have it’s not about that. It’s weird.
He reopened the wound & yes I did tell him to take them to think, but now I just feel like shit because I don’t know what is going on. I’m scared to even ask. It sucks. I’m tempted to text & call all the time but I’m not sure what to say, I need him to take the initiative but I guess it’s just a weird cross road. I could forgive him for this, I do think we needed time apart. He went about it absolutely awful, but I do believe in 2nd chances. It’s just a shame he called me saying everything I’ve been waiting to hear, but nothing has happened really. We’ve spoken each day since, but I’ve initiated contact more during this time than he has. He still says I love you & doesn’t tackle the topic again. I’m so so confused. I get that getting back together should be a slow process, I get I told him to take time to think, but I don’t know what is even going on & I NEED to know. It hurts. I was not sure if I should just initiate the conversation again & go from there, or allow him to think like I said to do. Any ideas?

I’m in a tricky spot. My ex left me out of the blue a month ago. We had a great relationship, both had faults but nothing major. We were good to each-other. We had an insanely stressful time period & we lived together for a year at this point, we were also together for 2 years. I think he just needed time away & we needed to go back to long distance for a while. Our living situation wasn’t working out at all anymore & we didn’t know how to navigate that properly.
I don’t think we (mainly him) communicated affectively enough about what needed to happen. He just got lost, confused & just kinda dipped. Then, he did/ said strange stuff & gave a million bs reasons for why he left. None of them were true. I knew exactly why he left. He was just lost. He still loves me & I know he didn’t want to breakup, he just felt he had no choice, which was dumb. I tried so hard to show him he was making a mistake & clearly just in a bad mental state, but eventually I gave up.
I went no contact & tried to move on. Then, he calls a few days ago to tell me he is deeply sorry, he took accountability for what he did & he just described it as him getting crazy overwhelmed & he felt backed into a corner. He wanted to discuss getting back together. I told him I need him to take more time to really think about that decision. While part of me wanted to just say “yes omg let’s do it come home baby” I did not. He has to prove himself to me again. It’s been 3 days since that call & we’ve barely spoken, when we have it’s not about that. It’s weird.
He reopened the wound & yes I did tell him to take them to think, but now I just feel like shit because I don’t know what is going on. I’m scared to even ask. It sucks. I’m tempted to text & call all the time but I’m not sure what to say, I need him to take the initiative but I guess it’s just a weird cross road. I could forgive him for this, I do think we needed time apart. He went about it absolutely awful, but I do believe in 2nd chances. It’s just a shame he called me saying everything I’ve been waiting to hear, but nothing has happened really. We’ve spoken each day since, but I’ve initiated contact more during this time than he has. He still says I love you & doesn’t tackle the topic again. I’m so so confused. I get that getting back together should be a slow process, I get I told him to take time to think, but I don’t know what is even going on & I NEED to know. It hurts. I was not sure if I should just initiate the conversation again & go from there, or allow him to think like I said to do. Any ideas?

Hi everyone (Looking at you, Porsche mains)
I am asking this, as a sort of experiment. To see how you all like to drive the car and if there are similarities. Do you prefer a harder rear suspension as opposed to the front? Or do you prefer a harder front and a softer rear, similiar to an f1 car? Do you perhaps prefer and all round soft, hard or somewhat neutral car?
This all comes from me trying different settings on the car, and getting very different results in behavior (naturally, I suppose). I have noticed that in general, setups pull the rear bumptstops on this car right down to the lower values, but, the preset setups have it all the way up(obviously to allow the car to roll more on its rear axle) this is what made me wonder, how do people usually drive this car? How do they prefer the balance on the car.
Before you start smashing your phone or keyboard saying "it's track dependant!" I know that. BUT, I want to try and find out if drivers prefer theur platform in a similiar way on all or most tracks, and do tweaks to it depending on the track. For example: you prefer a harder rear end, and you use this on all your setups, but allow slightly more or less roll (softening of the rear) depending on the track, but still keeping the car stiffer in the rear than the front and so on so forth.
911 (1) and 992 drivers and everyone else with different cars, please feel free to comment aswell! Perhaps you will find good information for your car that may not know.
Disclaimer: I am not wanting you to send your setups or give me a setup, I just want to know what are your baseline properties for this car. So, when you go to a track, what are the first things in the setup you typically change and tweak from there on out. Because, like many of the cars I suppose, she behaves very differently depending on your setup.
Have a great day everyone👌

19m.
17 tried to get diagnosed, I know I have it, the doctors know I have it, but I need the diagnosis to get medication.
Unfortunately after waiting ages for it to be my turn to start the process when I was 17, it went to shit. Basically step one of the process is they give a piece of paper to 3 teachers you have maybe had, with boxes to tick. If not all 3 teachers tick the right boxes. You’re not allowed to be diagnosed. And that’s what happened to me. One of the 3 teachers didn’t tick enough boxes so I was told sorry nothing our make believe mental health services can do you for.
So I appealed, but by that stage I turned 18. So I was told yeah sorry the NHS don’t do adult ADHD diagnosis in Northern Ireland. So good luck with that.
So I went to the only private clinic anywhere near me, payed over a grand and got stung along for a year. Being told at the start that I have it 100% just need to wait a couple weeks for the report. A couple weeks turned into a year because it turns out that practice was an illegal scam. Got the money back but at this stage I’m just so done.
I genuinely don’t see why I shouldn’t throw myself in front of a lorry? I hate being like this and the one little hope of maybe getting a bit of help is dangled in front of my face but I’m never allowed it.

confused
Please give ur thoughts!! Me and this guy had been talking for a few months and he always asks to see me. He lives like a 2 minute walk away and I say yes to hanging out but I always make it clear we won’t be doing anything sexual as i am a virgin but he told me he’s had seven different sexual partners (we are both 19 years old.) and we aren’t even in a relationship yet. He agrees and says he just wants to “chill” but then he won’t show up and text me the next day like nothing ever happened. This has happened a few times. I talk to him about it and he just says he was busy but we get past that and start hanging out more. Everything is great and this is the first guy i’ve actually liked but we still haven’t done anything. When im finally ready, we are at my house and suddenly he has to leave and says he will come by later that night. Once again he doesn’t show up. Weeks go by and he hasn’t said anything so I reach out and ask did i do something wrong and he finally tells me he has a gf the day and in the same breath, he tells me that he loves me?? Mind you we haven’t even kissed yet and he showed little to no effort. I no longer talk to him because i don’t condone cheating but I just wanna know wtf his issue was and why did he feel the need to play all these games.

We’re from a country that has very strict law on cannabis and you’d be in some serious trouble if you get caught. In 2018 we tried weed first time when we were in Amsterdam and I really liked it, she-not so much.
Now we are travelling through Europe and so far we’ve been in Germany, Czech, and Austria. As I understand these countries have pretty mild law on cannabis, it’s de-criminalized and I’ve been asking my wife hey do u wanna try and find some weed but my wife doesn’t even want to hear about it. Yesterday was our last night in Austria and I was hoping maybe we could find some weed somehow before we set off to Hungary and bunch of other eastern european countries that very strict on weed which I won’t be bothering with.
Anyway, last night we went out to see night Vienna and were sitting on a tram and then these 2 guys reeking with weed came in and sit in a corner. I thought of approaching them ask if they have some weeds to sell or if they can point me to a right direction but my wife didn’t let me. I thought ok whatever, I probably wouldn’t find feed from a random stranger anyway. But later she told me one of those guys was probably a dealer because different people keep sitting beside him each stop. That’s when I get mad for holding me back for this whole trip and won’t let me try and find some weed and how she is so uptght and boring and how she is so afraid of every little thing. I mean, I get it yeah it’s not a good idea to be involved with drugs and random strangers but come on it’s just weed and I just wanted to have some fun and relax.

She said she wanted to go home. She said I didn't care about her unless she was leaving. I was just trying to understand what was going on. She said she was going home. I accepted that she didn't want to stay with me then but it was raining outside. "Can I at least give you a ride? It's raining and cold."
Her answer? "Oh, so you want me to beg for a ride?"
What??? I just offered her a ride.
"If you really wanted to give me a ride, you would have said 'I am giving you a ride home, let's go.' Not made me ask for it."
Look, at this point, I'm just confused. I did drive her home, and she left my car without saying goodbye. I gave her the space she needed and cried on the way home.
But no. She said I was codependent. She said it wasn't good that I was sad just because of her emotions. So, ok, I decided to take her advice. I went to the event we were planning on going on with friends to distract for a few hours. Before I left, she texts me.
"What are you doing?"
"Oh sorry I was getting ready to go to the thing."
"Oh. Fun! I can't wait for the next time you feel like shit and I can go out and have fun."
"Sick. Thanks for that."
"💋"
And then she blocked me everywhere.
I distracted myself. Then I got home and I cried. And I screamed. And I hit my head against the wall and yelled I GIVE UP I DON'T HAVE ANYTHING LEFT TO GIVE. Just that day we had gone through a workbook and discussed what our greatest fears were from each other. Mine were sarcasm and suddenly leaving. She had done both and she didn't give a damn. She actively chose to hurt me. And if it were me 2.5 years ago, maybe I would have had the emotional control to hold it in, to deal with things. But I didn't. I am a shell of who I once was. And I never have the power to consider leaving unless I am fully drained and feel like I can't breathe, I can't stand, I can't live.
So I packed all of her things up. I dumped boxes into my car and I drove to her house. I wanted to talk.
I knocked on her door. She opened it.
"What are you doing here?"
"You won. I don't know what you were trying to win, but whatever it was, you won."
She just stared at me.
I waited for her to say something. Nothing. Then, finally...
"What do you want?"
There was no chance of conversation. No "I'm sorry for using the things you fear most because I knew they would dig in and hurt." No. Just a what do you want? What do I want? To not be hurt. I want to not be blocked for 12 or 24 or 48 or 72 hours with no idea of what's going on until you decide that you're willing to come back. I want to not be put in situations where you say you block me because you don't want a wall of text, but in reality you want to hurt me fast and hard and then run away so that you don't hear the consequences of your actions.
"Your things are in the car. Please get them."
"OK. But only if you promise not to talk to me while I do."
"Sure. If that's what you want I won't talk."
The next day we texted and discussed things. Things were... emotional. Then she disappeared and stopped responding. That would have been fine, had her sister not called me looking for her since she hadn't been able to reach her. My heart dropped. Had something happened? Had she done something? I told her sister, "Hey, bad timing, but you should probably just go check her in person." And then, "And, not my business, but if you find her can you just let me know she's safe? Nothing else, I just want to know she's ok." Her sister said "Of course."
Queue to a few days ago. She asked me to hang out with her in person for a jazz thing. I said hey, look, I am very emotional right now. I want to see you but I can't today. Maybe we can talk in a few days?
Apparently that was the wrong answer.
"Honestly I'm just going to come get my stuff."
She did. And then she said "Leave me alone," so I did.
But I had no idea where we stood. Was this just another week-long block? I messaged her 4-5 days later.
"Hey, I just want to know if the plan is to go no contact or if there's a chance of staying friends or coming back to this in the future so I know whether to start grieving or not."
"Why are you doing this?"
"Sorry I don't want to be a bother I just want to know so I'm not on edge."
She called me. Man, that was hard.
I did my best not to cry. She asked me why I was crying. I said "Because you're my best friend and I don't want to lose you." She laughed. "You're the one that did this." She laughed. She laughed. She laughed.
I asked if theres a chance we would be able to either stay friends in the future or maybe come back to the relationship down the line after we had both worked on ourselves. She said "As long as you don't get emotional or controlling when you see me go on trips with other people."
Ow.
OK, maybe not. But what about controlling?
"You're trying to control me."
"What? When?"
"You're messaging my sister."
"I texted her once because I wanted to make sure you were safe." I then sent her the screenshots to prove this.
"You're contacting my family to try and control me. After we broke up."
"That was the day we broke up."
"LIES."
"What? That was Sunday?"
"You dropped my s*** off on saturday night. You texted my sister on sunday."
"Oh. Sorry. I guess it was saturday. Sorry, everything's been blending together in this wall of confusion and pain."
She laughed.
She said "Look, I'm just not going to be there for you anymore emotionally when you're never there for me."
"What was I supposed to do that night you wanted me to drop you off. Like, what was the best outcome?"
"Come over and hug me. Hold me."
"You said you didn't want to be next to me. You said you wanted me to take you home. And when I pulled in you just got out of the car and left without saying goodbye. Was I supposed to follow you into your house after all that?"
She changed the topic.
"But instead you chose to go have fun with your friends."
"Was I supposed to go home and cry alone? Can I not distract? I am not even sure why this started in the first place I am so confused and just wanted to stop crying and distract and go to this thing that you had made me confirm my attendance to just an hour prior to you leaving."
"Must have been nice having fun." She laughed loudly. "OK I have to get ready for work. Bye."
And then she hung up.
The amount of pain I felt in that moment. The amount of guilt. I did this. Even she said it. This was my fault my fault my fault. I shouldn't have reacted by dropping her stuff off. I shouldn't have done this. I shouldn't it was my fault.
But I had nothing left. She stopped caring about me so quickly. She laughed when I cried.
I sent her a final message and went no contact. I final sorry to top off the mountain of apologies I had given her over the last two and a half years.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. I was just trying to stop hurting myself. I will love you forever and if you ever need me you know where I live and are always welcome in. I feel that I am causing you pain and maybe resentment so I will let you move on to somebody better for you now. Goodbye."
And then I went no contact.
It's been a few days now and the pain comes and goes. Sometimes it's unbearable. Sometimes it's replaced by anger. And sometimes I just wish she would have given my my shirt back, the one passed down to me from my mother, the one I held near and dear to my heart that she would steal to wear. She has the rest of my stuff but really all I want is the shirt and I'll be at peace. But I've now initiated no contact on my end so perhaps my shirt and what it means to me is gone. Maybe she threw it away already. I don't know.
And these emotions come and go and sometimes I laugh and then the laugh turns into a gasp as my chest is stabbed with the most agonizing pain I can imagine and I feel like a fish out of water, making ungodly noises as I hope to black out and make the pain stop. And sometimes I imagine her coming back through my door like she used to, walking in and kissing me and picking me up and carrying me to bed and laying me down and holding me, her skin against mine, her lips against mine, her soul against mine.
But now, when that happens, I just need to remember one thing:
She laughed.

Yall, I’ve had this Reddit account for years but never actually used it. While enjoying my insomnia I decided to give it a whirl… and this shit is wild. After reading a ton of posts in this subreddit here are some things I think some of you need to know. (I’ve been with my husband for 10 years)
1.) Date him when you’re fat! - guys… the shear amount of posts where men can’t stand their wives weight and these women feel like they need to maintain the same body they had at 25 is INSANE! I’ve never been happier than I am tonight that my husband met me with a few extra pounds. 😂
2.) Find the unappreciated men! - if you’re looking for dudes who will love you for the long haul find the ones that flew under the radar! My husband is hot as hell, and is only getting better with age. He was a big kid and hit his glow up right before we met. He is humble and kind and women were stupid to pass him by.
3.) Suck it…. On more than his birthday
4.) Trade off on spoon positions! - don’t sleep on the power of being the big spoon! Im 5’4” and my husband is 6’2”. Sure his back is getting most of the love, but he keeps my boobs warm and he loves the change up.
5.) DO NOT LET FAMILY FUCK WITH YOUR RELATIONSHIP! - toxic family? Get your shit in order immediately! Communication is key with your partner and boundaries with family. You are each other’s priority. End of story.
6.) Rough times come in waves - You will continue to grow and change because that’s what humans do. Marriage means doing that together and often that comes at different times. Communication is crucial. Patience is a virtue, and sometimes you just gotta be the bigger person.
7.) Have hobbies and friends! - you don’t have to do everything together… seriously. You are still an individual! It’s ok to have your own time and space. My husband loves hiking. I would rather read in a hammock. He goes fishing and I would rather throw some clay. And that’s great! Have one or two things you love to do together, but don’t change everything about yourself to make someone happy. That’s dumb and will only lead to resentment.
8.) Own your sex life! - try new things, sit on his face, stick a finger somewhere… just laugh and enjoy 😉 ladies, I promise you that a true ride or die hubby will not care if your legs aren’t shaved and your thighs could crush a watermelon. Let go of those insecurities that are holding you back!
9.) Talk about kids/responsibilities BEFORE you get married! - I wanted kids, he didn’t. Accept that what your partner is telling you is what they mean! And then decide if they are worth the compromise. If you both want kids you damn sure better talk about childcare, chores, meals, money, etc. BEFORE you push out that bundle of potential divorce.
10.) You only get one life. - Really, just one… so make sure you’re with a person who you can look back in 40 years and think, damn… how lucky am I.