I am NOT OOP. OOP is u/justathrowaway282641
Originally posted to TwoHotTakes + her own page
Previous BoRU #1, BoRU #2, BoRU #3, BoRU #4, BoRU #5, BoRU 6
Editor’s Note: removed all relevant comments from older posts to make space for new updates. To see all older relevant comments, check out the previous BoRUs above
NEW UPDATE MARKED WITH ----
[New Update]: My family forgot to invite me to my grandparents funeral, but they are convinced I was there.
Trigger Warnings: death of loved ones, emotional manipulation, gaslighting, harassment
RECAP
Original Post: November 14, 2023**
I’m 30s F and caused a major blowup in my family and now none of them are talking to me. For background, my hometown is tiny (500pop) and when I went 2 hrs away to “the city” (15,000pop) for college, I loved it. I ended up staying after graduation, got married, and am happy here for a decade. I visit my home town every few weeks or so, call/text my family near daily, and thought we were all good. My family’s pretty small. Just my brother, mom, step dad, dad, step mom, and an aunt and uncle (mom’s siblings, never married, no kids). My mother's grandparents moved to my home town when I was in high school and were just down the street from us. My family has always been pretty drama free (aside from my parent’s divorce when I was a kid) and we’ve been happy. The step-parents were blended in perfectly and we share holidays and celebrations together. We’re all super close and just the perfect little group.
Ever since I moved away, the topic of “when am I moving back?” is constant, and I’ve always laughed it off. My home town has nothing. You have to drive 30 minutes for milk and bread. 60-90 minute one-way commutes to work. And floods shut down the main road every Easter. I love the town, but I love here more. I have parks, stores, community events, a library! The “city” is great. My family grumbles that I need to move back, but I refuse. I've been trying to encourage them to come here, especially since it's not an hour drive to the nearest medical facility.
Now to the meat and potatoes: both my grandparents passed over COVID times. They were both old and their health had been failing for a while so it was only a matter of time. Thankfully they didn’t catch it, but it made visiting them impossible and we survived mostly through FaceTime. They both passed in their sleep months apart. Both were cremated and kept securely under the kitchen sink for safe keeping while the pandemic blew over. That was 2021.
Well, I just found out my family held a funeral for them and scattered the ashes in my uncle’s maple grove over the summer. No one said a word to me about it. I’ve visited numerous times before and after and not one word. I only found out because my great uncle from California posted on Facebook a few weeks ago that he is entering hospice and was so thankful his health stayed strong enough for him to see his little sister (my grandma) to her final resting place. I was confused and called my mom. She was all “Yeah, the funeral we had in July, remember?” Ya’ll, I visited them for the 4th of July. They did the funeral the 8th. Not a word about it to me. They had planned this for months. Long enough to arrange for my infirm great uncle to be brought over from the other side of the country. Apparently, they talked about it “all the time”.
Everyone is convinced I was at the funeral. They SWEAR I was there. I can prove I wasn’t because Google’s got my location history. My hubby is baffled because he was supposedly there, too, but he had to work every weekend in June and July. Time clock doesn’t lie. My family straight up forgot about me. I’m hurt. I’m sad. And they’re pissed at me “for lying”. They think I’m causing drama over nothing. Nothing I say can convince them I wasn’t there. My family is united in this. And they’ve all put me “on read” until I admit I’m wrong. They think I’ve gone nuts. Either there’s a doppelganger of me attending events, or my family doesn’t want to admit they screwed up. I’m not backing down.
Thanksgiving is coming up, and my family’s been vague posting on Facebook about “forgetful kids” and mental health. It’s so freaking weird and I don’t know if I’m in bizzaro world or what’s going on. My mom’s best friend reached out and said I should just admit I was wrong and apologize, that I’m causing my mom so much unnecessary stress. I asked her if she’s checked everyone’s home for CO2. She hung up on me. (We checked our CO2, and our testers are running just fine.) I have reached out to a few people in my home town to check in on my folks, and they all say they're fine. I even spoke with the local volunteer fire fighter group to see if they could check for gas leaks. Not sure if they were able to.
I don’t know what to do. I’ve shown them the proof I wasn’t there, but they know I’m tech savvy and just assume I’ve Photoshopped it. Hubby says we need a break, and we’re going to be staying home this holiday season.
Edit: I don't know the update rules, so I'll post updates to my profile should anyone want them.  
Update #1: November 27, 2023
Not sure how to do updates on posts, so figured I'd post anything on my profile. Folks have private messaged me and this will be easier I think?
It's 11/27 and Thanksgiving just happened. Hubby and I stayed home. We got a small turkey and made our own little thanksgiving. It was nice. We ate around noon, then watched a movie, and later sat outside with a bottle of wine to watch the sun set behind the trees and neighbor houses.
We usually take the day before off, drive to my folks, stay the night, and help with the Thanksgiving Day cooking. So it wasn't until Wednesday night that my mom broke the silence. Mom called and asked when I was showing up, and I told her we were staying home this year, but for them to have a happy Thanksgiving, and to give the rest of the family my love. She was quiet for a long time after I said that, and I think she eventually mumbled an "okay", or something, and hung up. It wasn't an angry hang up. Just a hang up. On Thanksgiving day, I sent a group "Happy Thanksgiving!" gif to our family group chat. I received a few "happy Thanksgiving"'s back. No one's said anything else. There's been no posts on Facebook.  
Update #2: December 12, 2023
So, I think I mentioned in one of my comments that my dad and I usually talk on the phone every Sunday morning. We're both early risers so we'd chat over our morning coffees and watch the sunrise. Him and I haven't really spoken since this all went down and it's been tough. I'm used to talking to him, you know?
Well, I was sitting outside in my usual spot, watching the sun rise and freezing my butt off, and he called me. I'm not entirely sure how to describe the emotions I felt. It was a mix of panic, hope, terror, happiness, and dread. I ended up answering because I just had to know what he wanted. It was an awkward conversation. He didn't address the current "drama", but instead tiptoed around the situation with all the grace of an cow on stilts. For instance, a simple "How are you doing?" Type question was answered with a "Not good." And the whole conversation would stall out for a bit because he knew why I wasn't doing well. So we ended up talking about the weather, the various winter birds we'd seen in our feeders, and the Christmas decorations around town. Things like that.
Eventually he asked if we were coming out for Christmas, and sounded sad when I told him we weren't. He asked if him and step mom could come visit us instead, and I told him it wasn't a good idea this year. That hubby and I were going to spend a quiet holiday together. I let him know he should be receiving some gifts at his PO Box any day now, so to please pick them up from the post office and put them under the family tree for everyone. He said he'd ship ours to us as well.
And that was pretty much it. No crazy drama to report. The only posts on Facebook have been the usual Christmas excitement ones, countdowns, photos of Santa, silly gift ideas, photos of company Christmas parties.
On a personal note: Hubby and I are doing alright. Our health is good, our spirits high, and we're as solid as ever. We each got Christmas bonus' at our jobs, so we're excited about that. They're not large, but we're happy to have them. We have also done advent calendars for the first time ever. I got him a Lego one, and he got me a hot chocolate one. We're going to do the calendars again next year. Maybe make a tradition out of it.
Everyone please have a safe and happy holidays.  
Inheritance: December 16, 2023
I've received a lot - A LOT - of messages and private DMs urging me to check into inheritance and such. I'm really touched a lot of Internet strangers are worried about me and I wanted to ensure everyone that inheritance is most likely not an issue here. I'd almost be relieved if it was, because then it would at least make some sense. Money does weird things to people, you know?
No one in my family is wealthy by any means. After my grandparents' passed, their small estate was used to pay for their end of life expenses and remaining assets split up. Everyone directly related got an equal split (so excluded my dad and the step parents). I don't remember the exact amount I received, but it was around $5k if I recall. My brother gave me his share, too, so I could finish paying off my college debt while the interest freeze was active.
The great uncle from California has kids and grand kids, and great grandkids of his own, and also isn't wealthy. I think one of his kids makes good money doing something in finance, but I'm not entirely sure. I can't imagine he left us anything, as we hardly knew him. My mom, aunt, and uncle only met him a few times in their lives, and my brother and I even less. Grandma and him were close, but I don't think he liked my grandpa much.  
Christmas: December 25, 2023
I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas. I've received a lot of support through my posts and I'm really grateful. Writing these updates have had a therapeutic effect.
Yesterday was Sunday, but I didn't answer my dad when he called. I just really didn't feel up to a pointless chat, so let it go to voicemail. He tried to reach me a few times throughout the day, but I didn't answer.
Our bestie last minute invited us over to his house for Christmas day lunch (today), so husband and I were busy all Christmas Eve making cookies, peanut brittle, and homemade suckers/hard candies for his kids. Mom tried to reach out as well, but I also ignored her calls.
We had a BLAST at lunch! Our friend's kids are a lot of fun to be around. They got some techy presents from their grandparents (Quest vr headset and steam decks, lucky little rascals) Friend and his wife aren't good with tech, while hubby and I are, so we helped get them set up while our friend played a good host to his folks and inlaws. The grandparents didn't realize that a Steam deck required a Steam account, so we got the kids all their own accounts set up, added them to our steam friends lists, and gifted them some games. We also bought them a few VR games for their headset, and they were off to the races with Beat Saber in no time.
As for my folks: My brother texted and asked if we could talk sometime tomorrow. I think me ignoring mom and dad has caused some kind of upset. Which they deserve.  
Brother’s call: December 26, 2023
Spoke with my brother over the phone this morning.
For starters, he apologized for everything. Him and I are good (for now). For a bit of background, my brother and I are only 2 years apart. There weren't a lot of kids around growing up, so the two of us were often stuck doing stuff together. So we have a lot of shared interests and passions. He's been pretty silent on this whole matter, but still "part of the group", if you know what I mean. I think the thought of losing him out of my life was probably the most painful, because he's always been there. He was my rock until I met my husband. He's definitely a Mama's boy, though, so anything mom wanted, he made sure she got. I'm happy to have him back.
Without further ado, here's the story from the horse's mouth:
Mom apparently had a cancer scare late last year (which no one told me about, go figure), and dad had a stint put in his heart back in January (which I did know about). This "sense of mortality" has apparently lit a fire under Mom's ass to get me back home. But since I wasn't reacting to her passive aggressive hinting, she and step mom decided to go full crazy. My great uncle's health was bad, and he'd been asking about funeral arrangements for his sister (my grandma) for a while, so the moms decided to plan it. And use the event as a giant middle finger to me. They kept all the planning pretty hush-hush between the two of them, so no one on our side of the family actually knew about the funeral until like 2 weeks before. The moms said they'd invited hubby and I. No one thought anything about it. No one thought to mention, confirm, or check with me.
The plan was to scatter the ashes, say a few words, and maybe head to town for lunch. It was a small affair. The mom's didn't even tell the family that our great uncle was coming for it. Like I said, it was a small thing. Barely a footnote. No one thought it was odd because we're pretty chill people.
4th of July happens. Hubby and I are out. No one thought to mention it, as we were all busy celebrating and having a great time. Any time the topic of "this weekend" would start, the conversation would be quickly shifted by one of the moms. We went back home.
8th of July happens. Great uncle rolls into town with a few of his kids, grandkids, and great grandkids, and it's a surprise to everyone (but the moms). Everyone drives to the maple grove and the moms have brought a ton of food and stuff. It's a full blown party. No one on my side noticed I wasn't there, because there were so many extra faces outside the usual group. They did the spreading of the ashes, they said their words, they ate, they had a great time. It wasn't until our great uncle left, and all his side left with him, that they realized I wasn't there. And hadn't been there.
And this is where the crazy went up a notch. My brother says the moms were happy no one noticed I wasn't there. And that this was proof to everyone that I needed to move back because I was so easily forgotten about. Because none of them thought to reach out, right? They basically did a ton of guilt tripping manipulation bullshit and it made everyone upset at me for not showing up. Somehow it was my fault for being excluded. So suddenly everyone was on their side with "sticking it to me".
But then a few months went by, and tempers cooled, and then I guess the horror of it set in. Followed by the shame, but by then they were "in too deep". How do you undo something like this? And since I hadn't brought it up, I guess they figured they would all just stay quiet about it and hope I never asked about a funeral.
That's when I discovered the situation from my great uncle's Facebook and called my mom, who panicked and went with the stupidest solution. Claiming I was there. Don't I remember?
I ended up talking with a few friends from high school, mentioning the situation, and word got back to those in town. So suddenly town gossip and little old church ladies got involved. Was I, or wasn't I at the funeral? Did my family forget to invite me to the funeral of the only grandparents I'd ever know? Or am I just causing a ruckus? My brother said they all just went with mom's answer. Of course they wouldn't forget me. Of course I was there. Of course they're good people. And it just snowballed.
The family expected me to eventually fold. I'm usually a nonconfrontational person, so me sticking to my guns was unexpected. And then I missed Thanksgiving. And now Christmas. With no sign of backing down. And I guess the realization that I could just stop being part of their lives is setting in and my parents are panicking. He's tried just getting them to apologize and explain, but stubbornness prevails. They want to rug sweep, but I'm not letting them.
My brother is upset with everything that's happened. He's realized just how crappy it all has been and he wants nothing to do with it anymore. But since he lives with my mom, he can't "get away from it".
He has asked if he can come stay with us for a little bit. I spoke with hubby, and he's in agreement with me that my brother can come crash in our spare bedroom for as long as he wants. Brother works remotely, so it's no trouble for him to pick up and go. I believe he's making the trip today or tomorrow. Not entirely sure, but I expect crap to hit the fan when he arrives.
On a side note, hubby's stoked that my brother and I made up. The two usually game together, but haven't due to "the situation". He's downstairs right now setting up his man cave in preparation for my brother's arrival. I'm happy to see him so excited.  
Brother's Here: December 27, 2023
My brother rolled in late last night. He'd obviously been crying and when I opened the door, he just held me and sobbed. I'd never seen him like that before and soon both of us were just standing in the doorway crying into one another. He kept apologizing. Over and over again. Said he wasn't sure why he went with it. Just kept saying sorry. Hubby got him all set up in the spare bedroom while brother and I talked. My brother's a wreck. He's always been a big guy, but he's lost a lot of weight and his clothes just hang off him. If I didn't know better, I'd think he was on drugs. We talked for a little bit before bed and he re-explained everything for my husband. I'd told hubby the story, but it was just so weird that hearing it again helped.
This morning my brother was up at dawn making some coffee and getting his work day going. Hubby's off all week (lucky) so hubby made us working folk some pancakes and bacon. So far everything's peaceful. We've decided not to answer any calls from our family. They've been made aware that he arrived safely, and that we are going to spend the New Years together, and that we're not answering any calls until January 1st. They may text if they wish. I'm sure they're losing their minds. Serves them right.
Everyone, have a safe and happy new years! Don't drink and drive!  
Happy 2024!: January 2, 2024
I hope everyone has a safe and enjoyable holidays, and may the new year be full of joy and happiness!
Not too much of an update. Things here have been quiet. My brother's settled in nicely and he's a great housemate. Our place isn't very big, but we have full basement and a nice outside patio/porch area so it doesn't feel crowded at all with the extra addition. He's a quiet and clean guy. No hassle at all. He got some fresh clothes from the Walmart, a haircut, and trimmed his beard, so he's more "presentable" now. He's a lady killer when he gets cleaned up. He's made nice with the (very nosy, but kind) retired couple next door and is adapting to "city living" nicely.
Folks back home have been mostly well behaved. There's been a few texts back and forth, as we're not answering calls. Mom mainly wants to know when brother's coming back, but he's keen on staying here for a while. Mom said I can't "keep him" and I told her he's a grown ass man and can do what he wants. Brother says he has her blocked after she ORDERED him to return home.
Brother has tentatively asked if he could stay long term, should he decide to, or at least longer than a usual visitor would stay. Which we're fine with. He has a good paying job and could afford an apartment, but he's never lived on his own and I would guess he has some anxiety about it. Should that be the case, he'll start paying us some rent and we'd probably adjust to give him the basement as his own space.  
Had to change the locks: January 17, 2024
My brother is officially staying with us for the long haul. Hubby and him spent all Sunday organizing the basement and shifting things around so he now has his own area to be comfortable in. He's pretty handy and has also started fixing little things around our house. Our windows and doors have never closed and locked/unlocked smoother. He even fixed one of the closets we never use because we can never get the darn door open. Sadly, he also had to change the locks on our house and get us all new keys.
This is because while hubby and I were out this Saturday, the moms showed up. They'd been calling and texting us all week, but we weren't really answering them, so I guess the two decided to drive over and hash it out in person. They have emergency keys to my place, and just let themselves in. Brother told them to leave, they argued, and my nosy (but kind) neighbors called the police when they noticed the commotion. So, we get a call from neighbor's wife, return home to some cops in our yard, all the neighbors out "vacuuming their trees", and my nosy (but kind) neighbors standing on my porch with my brother behind them, doing their best Gandalf "You shall not pass" impression.
Had to talk with the cops, explain that we were having a family dispute and word vomited. I don't really remember what all I said, and was shaking a lot. Our local cops are really great. Fantastic guys and gals in blue, and took it all in stride. It's really cold here, so one had me join him in his cruiser with the heat on, and gave me a bottle of water to calm down while we talked. They asked if we wanted the moms trespassed but I wasn't sure if that counted as a criminal charge so just asked the cops if they could just make them leave, which the cops did with no fuss. I think the moms were shocked we were taking this so seriously. They didn't fight or scream at us. Just left quietly.
My dad promised me he'd make sure his wife left us alone. "Or else". He said he'd also have a stern talk with my mom. Him and I talked Sunday morning, and he seemed absolutely at the end of his rope. Husband jokingly told my dad he could move in, too. To which he declined.
Not sure where to go from here, but we're getting some ring cameras installed once they arrive. And everyone but my dad is blocked. Hopefully they all just leave us alone.  
Nothing New To Report: February 2, 2024
Had a lot of DMs for updates, but don't have much anything to report on. The moms are behaving themselves. All's quiet on the western front. Felt weird ignoring or copy/pasting "no updates" to everyone, so here's what we've been doing, should anyone care.
Dad got a new bird/squirrel feeder from Amazon (looks like a little picnic table for a child's dolly but has a mesh top for the bird seed. I think it's supposed to be for chickens?) It's totes adorbs. To his horror, it also works as a Cooper hawk feeder, so now he's "fortifying his defenses" and putting up some trellises around it. He'll have to wait till warmer weather before planting anything to grow on them.
We had some ring cameras installed and put in a motion-activated camera that double functions as a light bulb. It goes in the light fixture outside the front door and is pretty cool. Video quality isn't all that great, but it's a nice addition I guess. It does overlook the bird feeders, so I've been watching it on my lunch breaks on the days I have to go into the office.
Hubby and brother are feuding. They started a coop farm in Stardew Valley a few days ago and they both want to romance Leah. My husband confided in me that he's also been romancing Sebastian as a backup. I'm not sure why he's keeping this a secret, but he's pretty smug about it.
RELEVANT COMMENTS
fractal_frog I hope your dad can outsmart the hawks!

OOP: He'll be able to, I just know it. He's used to dealing with the wildlife and having hawks about, but he just wasn't expecting one to snag a meal right from his new feeder.
I told him it was "technically" still a bird feeder. Just....for bigger birds. Which he thought was funny. He said he might make a little "no hawks allowed" sign to put up next to it.

MissOP: keep the updates coming. the moms are so close to folding it's just a little bit more. LMAO also, the bro mance between your husband and brother is so cute. lol Honestly, I think your husband making sure he has a side piece of Sebastian is absolutely the play.

OOP: So far still no word from the moms, but I hope you're right. I would love an apology and for us to begin moving past this. But I NEED that apology. I feel selfish saying that, but I refuse to "be the bigger person" on this. I just won't.
As for my brother and husband, yeah, they're basically soul mates. The two hit it off immediately when they first met, and they've been thick as thieves for years.  

Update: February 27, 2024
My dad came out for a visit over the weekend. We had a good time and the weather was lovely for some grilling and beers. It was really nice to see him again and he seemed healthy and in good spirits.
Here's his report from back home: Step mom (dad's wife) has started to realize she's screwed up. I credit her change of mindset to the fact that my dad sat her down and laid it out for her: she leaves his kids alone, or she's getting divorce papers. That apparently shut her up right quick, because they had a prenup done when they married and I'm not sure the details of it, but it wouldn't end favorably for her. She hasn't worked in years, so I imagine she'd be eligible for alimony? But I'm not versed in any of that legal mumbojumbo. Dad didn't seem too worried about it, so I'm not gonna worry about it.
Step dad was pissed the police were involved in the last "mom visit" (despite no one getting arrested or anything) and was in a "the kids are out of control and need to be reigned back in" mindset. When my dad pointed out that "the kids" in question were all in their mid-30s, it took some of the steam out of stepdad's sails. According to my dad, even my mom looked a little surprised when he said that. So, part of me is wondering if a good chunk of this whole thing is my mom not truly realizing that her kids were grown, and no longer children she could make demands of. Both of the moms have left us alone. I expected my mom to continue to kick up a fuss, but I think the cops spooked her.
There was a wonderful suggestion by a comment or to get their pastor involved, which I passed along to my dad. Dad has since spoken to their pastor about everything. He's a young guy, relatively new to their church, and joked that his first month on the job he had to do 3 funerals in a row and his new "flock" were just dying to get away from him, so he's got a sense of humor which is nice. The new pastor agreed to sit down with everyone and help the family hash it all out in a true "Come to Jesus" type moment next month, so that maybe we could celebrate Easter together as our first holiday as a family. Dad said the pastor was aware our family was having some troubles, but unsure of exactly what was going on, and since he was new, the pastor didn't want to pry. He has also agreed to do a small service down at my uncle's maple grove later in the summer, as it usually floods and is a muddy mess all spring. According to my dad, my aunt and uncle are so over all the drama and just ready to move on, so I expect hugs and apologies from them when we next meet.
Stardew Valley Update: My brother was victorious in the grand fight for Leah. It was a hard battle. Well fought. When my husband exposed his plans to woo Sebastian all this time, it was quite the betrayal. Dramatics aside, their farm is really cute and I'm so happy they're enjoying the game!  
Update 4/1 - Final one I think - April 1, 2024
Happy April Fools everyone! I hope you all check your caramel apples for stray onions before taking a bite! I also hope your Easter weekend was a delightful one.
It is with great joy that I tell you all about our most recent update! Possibly even a conclusion to this whole ordeal.
The entire family (aunt, uncle, moms, dads, brother, me, husband) and pastor met at my dad's house and we all sat down to hash the situation out. As expected from what my dad said, my aunt and uncle greeted us all with apologies and hugs, which was nice. My uncle usually helps host the Easter egg hunts with the church and he brought our Easter baskets to give to us in case us kids weren't sticking around the for the weekend. I'm not sure why but seeing it made me tear up and feel stupid, because it was just a basket of candy but it meant a lot to me for some reason.
The pastor led us in a prayer and talked about forgiveness and such. He then asked us all to talk one at a time about how we're feeling and what we want the end result of today to be. No one was allowed to interrupt so everyone got to talk. It was nice. The consensus for the group was that most everyone wanted things to go back to "normal". The only ones who had any variance off this was my mom and step dad. They both wanted all us kids to move back to the area.
The pastor asked them why they wanted us back, and neither could give a good reason other than "because family", and the pastor asked us if we were thriving where we were. And we said we were. He asked if we were happy there. Which we were. He then asked my mom and step dad if they wanted us to give up our happiness to make them happy.
And Mom broke down and said no. We all had a good cry. The pastor then asked about the funeral and lies that led up to it and followed it and how it made us all feel and what we wished we'd done differently if we had the chance. It was all very emotional, but in a good way, you know? Everyone apologized and admitted they f-ed up and did a really crappy thing.
We all talked for a long, long time and the pastor was a great mediator. Eventually we all reached some sort of resolution and I think we're good now. Emotions are still high and a little raw in areas, but we stayed for Easter weekend and had a nice time. We're going to keep moving forward slowly and try to repair the relationship, but I believe we're well and truly out of the woods.
As for my brother, he's still staying with us, and mom will stop trying to guilt trip him back home. He's thinking about renting a small apartment in our area but we're not pushing him to make a decision. He knows he's welcome to stay as long as he wants. I think he wants to try dating (he's had a few girlfriends but never anything serious) and is embarrassed to bring any girls around our place, lol. He's been going to a few random classes/bookclubs at the local library for something free to do and hitting it off with all the little old ladies who attend, and they keep trying to hook him up with girls his age who they know. He has been on a few lunches/coffee dates with a couple girls, but I think he's too embarrassed by the attention to give it a real try at "dating" any of them. He's happy, though, which is all I could ask for.
I'm not sure if there will be any more updates, as I think it's all be resolved about as much as it can be at the moment. I wanted to thank you all for your words of advice and giving me a place to vent and scream into the void. Please be kind to one another and to yourselves. Thank you.
Relevant Comments
emjkr: What a nice and hopeful update, I’m really glad you stuck to your guns when everyone threw sanity out the window!
But, could your mother explain how she thought this would work out in her favour?

OOP: I don't think mom thought too far ahead. I believe she assumed it would all just magically work out the way she wanted it to. She said she wasn't sure what she was expecting to happen (which I think was a lie, but I wasn't going to push it).

mak_zaddy: This was a great update! But ummmmmm no stardew valley update? What gives? Has Sebastian been woo’ed? How’s Leah? What’s happening?

OOP: Sebastian has indeed been wooed (and whoohooed) There's kids and cows and chickens. The two are still having a wonderful time at the game. They're working on completing the community center but it's slow going as they aren't trying to speedrun and just doing things as they want. I believe they're thinking about going into the desert mines once they complete that bundle, but they're both super chicken shit about it!

-my-cabbages: I don't really understand what you had to apologize for ... but I'm glad you're happy and the situation seems to be settling down

OOP: There wasn't much of an apology on my end, as everyone agreed I had done nothing wrong. Mine was more of a "I'm sorry you didn't feel as though I would listen." Type apology, which I don't really believe is a proper apology because apologies like that push the blame back on another. I mostly expressed my feelings and the shock of it all, and how betrayed I felt.  

----NEW UPDATE----

Small, happy update: May 7, 2024 (1 month later)
Things as wonderful as the moment. Still doing baby steps with The Moms. We're texting and talking on the phones more, which is nice. Very civil.
Dad "accidentally" bought a bunch of hand crafted bird feeders at a craft fair. By accidentally, I mean: he had a little too much fun in the beer tent, went for a stroll while step mom wasn't looking, and stumbled upon a guy's booth and bought "one of each". He wouldn't tell me how MANY "one of each" was, but he cackled like a witch when I asked. Step mom said she's forcing him to give a few to me, so I'm expecting a delivery or a Dad-visit any day now.
My brother is officially "going steady" with a girl. We've met her a few times and she seems like a real sweetheart. She's our age and has a little boy (5-6 years old, I haven't asked) from a previous relationship (The dad's not in the picture from what I can gather). She's the granddaughter of one of his Book Club members, so the old ladies made good match makers in the end. The relationship is still very new and I'm routing for them.
No new Stardew Valley updates. Work has been a little crazy lately and I haven't been able to play much of anything, and brother has been distracted by his new lady friend. So, husband finally started Baldur's Gate 3, and fell for Gale's "magic trick" so now those two are a thing. I expect him to be sufficiently distracted from reality for the next few weeks.
 

DO NOT COMMENT IN LINKED POSTS OR MESSAGE OOPs – BoRU Rule #7

THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT OOP

Thinking about all of this discussion about a stadium in a critical piece of downtown Albany I am reminded by the writing of Andres Duany, Elizabeth Plater - Zyberk and Jeff Speck in their 2000 book Suburban Nation. I could not agree with this more and if the problems described by Jane Jacobs in the below isn’t Albany I don’t know what is. The parking lot district must be developed into a lively neighborhood, not the latest mega project idea. To me it’s as obvious as it could ever be. All of the 29 parcels should be left small and must be sold to an array of developers, big and smaller, all backed by a special zoning code and a city commitment to build new roads, sidewalks, street lighting and park improvements. All of this is done with a common goal, to create the memorable downtown neighborhood that doesn’t currently exist.
“The new suburbs are known for their private yards, their tennis clubs, their golf courses and their guard houses. The city does not offer these amenities in abundance, nor should it attempt to. Perhaps he best known urban amenities are cultural and sports events. These are indeed an advantage of city life, but they are not the most effective way to renew a downtown as some suggest. These events may periodically attract suburban visitors, but they are not sufficient to persuade people to live or work in the city. The most significant amenity that the city can offer potential residents is a public realm, with the vibrant street life that phrase implies. Such an environment is the compensation the city offers customers for foregoing the suburban amenity package. If it exits, it can be enough, as downtowns from Manhattan to Portland show.
The key to active street life is creating a 24 hour city with neighborhoods so diverse in their use that they are inhabited around the clock. Eating. Shopping, working, socializing, no one activity can flourish in the absence of any other since they are all mutually reinforcing. As Jane Jacobs observed, a business district such as Wall Street normally cannot support restaurants as there are not enough local residents to generate adequate traffic. The restaurants are forced to make all their money between 12 and 2 PM. The same is true of other businesses such as health clubs which rely on both daytime and evening clientele. Urban revitalization, must begin then, by reinstating the balance among the widest range of local uses.
This is not to denigrate the positive influence of organized group activities and downtown is certainly the best location for the stadium and the performing arts center (which Albany has covered: arena, convention center, large theatre, small theatre, small music venue, outdoor amphitheater, plaza) especially given its ready access to transit as well as for the fairs and street festivals simply not possible in the suburban hinterland. But all the festivals in the world will not overcome the lack of a pedestrian friendly physical environment in getting people to come downtown. Convincing evidence of the power of successful urbanity can be seen in the many downtown destinations to which suburbanites will drive two to three hours for the experience of strolling, shopping and dining in a lively space. Greenwich Village, Coconut Grove and Georgetown have been spawned a new real estate industry classification “urban entertainment center”. Most of us would prefer to call it a city.”

Restaurants and other food vendors ordered to close and allowed to reopen by Orange County health inspectors from May 2 to May 9. Source: OC Health Care Agency database.
Note: Sorry for the late post this week!
99 Ranch Market: Deli, 651 N Euclid St, Anaheim

Closed: May 9 Reason: Cockroach infestation Reopened: May 9 

Bella Collina Towne & Golf Club, 200 Avenida La Pata, San Clemente

Closed: May 9 Reason: Rodent Infestatiton Reopened: May 9 

Ola Mexican Kitchen, 21040 Pacific Coast Hwy Ste F200, Huntington Beach

Closed: May 9 Reason: Cockroach infestation Reopened: May 10 

Blessed Sacrament School, 14146 Olive St, Westminstetr

Closed: May 8 Reason: Cockroach infestation Reopened: 

Knott Nutrition Spot, 502 S Knott Ave, Anaheim

Closed: May 8 Reason: Cockroach infestation Reopened: May 9 

Bree's Quality Meats, 11877 Valley View St, Garden Grove

Closed: May 7 Reason: Insufficient Hot Water Reopened: May 8 

Keto Bakery, 1866 N Tustin St, Orange

Closed: May 7 Reason: Cockroach infestation Reopened: May 9 

Baskin Robbins, 1736 E Meats Ave, Orange

Closed: May 3 Reason: Cockroach infestation Reopened: May 4 

This is the second half of my list for Oklahoma's execution roster. As mentioned in the first part, I broke it in half to comply with reddit's character limitations. For the link to part 1, please click here.
The currently executed 124 offenders, cases 63-124:
63. Robert Knighton (~1960s-2003, lethal injection): In 1973, after being released from a 1968 armed robbery conviction, Knighton went on his first major crime spree. He stabbed and strangled several men and women during many robberies and home invasions. The only victim that was killed, 32 year old Coffier Day, was shot dead while Knighton was arguing with him in his home. Coffier's father, 53 year old Claude, was also injured in the shooting. Knighton's first crime spree ended when he kidnapped a married couple and their 6 year old daughter. They escaped when the wife and mother of the family attacked Knighton with a knife to protect her husband and daughter. The family then notified the police of their abduction. Knighton managed to secure a 30 year manslaughter conviction and a 10 year armed robbery conviction with a plea deal, and was released to a halfway house in 1989. There, he began dating a female addict and befriended a teenage boy. The trio embarked on a nationwide robbery spree together. In Missouri, they shot and killed 59 year old Frank Merrifield and his 40 year old stepson Roy Donahue while robbing their home, and stole guns and money from them. In Oklahoma, the trio fatally shot a couple, 64 year old Virginia and 62 year old Richard Denney, while carjacking them. Their rampage ended when a woman in Texas grow suspicious of them circling a neighborhood. Knighton had a long history of theft convictions dating back to his childhood, and joined the Aryan Brotherhood in prison. Behind bars, he frequently attacked black and Native American inmates out of racial hatred for them.
64. Kenneth Charm (1993-2003, lethal injection): Charm and his teenage cousin lured a family friend, 14 year old Brandy Hill, into their car. They raped Hill and tried strangling her with a towel. When that failed, the cousins bludgeoned her to death with a sledgehammer.
65. Lewis Gilbert II (1994-2003, lethal injection): Gilbert and his teenage accomplice committed at least 4 robbery murders in Missouri, Ohio, and Oklahoma, but he was executed for the killing of 37 year old Roxanne Ruddell. They ambushed and kidnapped Ruddell while she was fishing alone. She was robbed of $3 and her truck, tied to a tree, and shot to death. The pair also fatally shot Ruth Loader, a 79 year old Ohioan woman, while abducting her from her residence, and gunned down a Missouri couple, 86 year old William and 76 year old Flossie Brewer, in their home. Gilbert was also sentenced to death for the Brewer murders by the state of Missouri, but was incarcerated in Oklahoma State Penitentiary’s death row.
66. Robert Duckett (~1980s-2003, lethal injection): After breaking out of prison, Duckett was picked up hitchhiking by John Howard, a 53 year old store owner. Howard agreed to let Duckett stay with him until he could find a job. The pair soon had a failing out, and Duckett was evicted by his host. He retaliated by tying Howard up with wire and then beating him to death with a fireplace poker. Duckett made off with his car after he switched the license plates, and took several bank bags from his store. He had a long violent criminal history, which included several incidents of assault and robbery. One of the incidents involved the beating of an 83 year old man. Allegedly, Duckett was previously gang-raped by other inmates, and suffered from PTSD from the incident. His attorneys claimed that Howard’s sexual advances trigged those memories, and he was killed as a result of Duckett lashing out at them. However, the prosecution shot the argument down, citing that the murder happened after Duckett was evicted from the apartment.
67. Bryan Toles (1993-2003, lethal injection): Toles and his two accomplices forced themselves into the home of the Franceschi family, and shot and killed the family patriarch, 39 year old Juan, in a struggle. Juan's son, 15 year old Lonnie, was also murdered "execution style" out of fear that he could identify Toles and his accomplices. The only survivor of the attack was Norma, Juan's wife and Lonnie's mother, who escaped by hiding in her older daughter's bedroom.
68. Jackie Willingham (1994-2003, lethal injection): Willingham was a door to door salesman selling perfume in an office building. One women, 62 year old Jayne Van Wey, he tried to solicit rejected him despite his repeated offers. Angered by her "rude behavior", Willingham attacked Van Wey when they had a chance encounter near the building's restroom. He dragged Van Wey out of a stall after following her inside, slammed her head against the bathroom wall several times, and kicked her head. Reportedly, Van Wey choked to death on her own blood.
69. Harold McElmurry III (1999-2003, lethal injection): While under the influence of meth, McElmurry and his wife Vicki broke into a home that a WW2 veteran, 80 year old Robert Pendley, shared with his wife, 75 year old Rosa. Robert and Rosa were both quickly subdued and physically restrained by the couple. McElmurry clubbed Robert to death with a pipe in front of Rosa, who was forced to watch by Vicki. Vicki then held Rosa down as McElmurry stabbed her several times with scissors. After killing the Pendleys, the McElmurrys fled with $70 in cash, a pair of guns, and the victims' car. A few days after the murders, they were captured by border agents while trying to cross into Mexico.
70. Tyrone Darks (~1990s-2004, lethal injection): Darks rammed his ex wife, 26 year old Sherry Goodlow, off the road as she was driving with their 2 year old son. After Goodlow crashed, Darks pulled their son out of the wreckage, shot her to death, and then drove away with him. Just before she succumbed to her injuries, Goodlow managed to call and notify the police about her son’s abduction. The police confronted and arrested Darks at his home, and they found the boy unharmed in their search. Darks and Goodlow’s former marriage was marred with violence, and he was arrested on numerous occasions for assaulting her. On death row, Darks was involved in a scheme to defraud a foundation for 9/11 survivors.
71. Norman Cleary (~1980s-2004, lethal injection): While burglarizing an upper class home with an accomplice, Cleary shot and killed a housekeeper, 44 year old Wanda Neafus, and took her purse and a cane that her employers purchased from the Smithsonian Institution. Cleary had a long criminal history and was previously convicted of beating an 87 year old woman in her home.
72. David Brown (~1983-2004, lethal injection): For several years, Brown violently harassed his ex wife and her family. In one incident, Brown abducted his ex wife and 11 of her customers from a beauty saloon she owned, and held them hostage until he surrendered to police. He was able to leave custody on bond and went into hiding. A few years after the hostage crisis incident, Brown broke into his ex wife's family home and gunned down her father, 47 year old Eldon McGuire.
73. Hung Thanh Le (1992-2004, lethal injection): Le crept into the apartment of another Vietnamese refugee, 34 year old Hai Nguyen, and found him watching TV on the couch. He struck Nguyen from behind with a weightlifting bar, and continued stabbing him with a meat cleaver when he screamed his wife for help. Nguyen's wife phoned the police, and Le fled with the couple's safety deposit box that contained $36,000 and their wedding ring.
74. Robert Bryan (1993-2004, lethal injection): Bryan shot and killed his estranged aunt, 69 year old Mildred, dumped her body on his parents' property, and forged a $1,800 check to himself under her name.
75. Windel Workman (~1980s(?)-2004, lethal injection): Workman beat his girlfriend's daughter, 2 year old Amanda Holman, to death while babysitting her in their home. His ex wives reported that he had a history of child abuse and often violently spanked their children during their marriages.
76. Jimmie Slaughter (1991-2005, lethal injection): Fearing that she was going to tell his wife of their affair, Slaughter stabbed and shot his ex girlfriend, 29 year old Melody Wuertz, and their daughter, 1 year old Jessica. According to court documents, Slaughter mutilated both of their bodies, and he carved an "R" on Melody's stomach. He tried pinning the murders on a black man, but the investigators and the courts dismissed his allegations.
77. George Miller Jr. (1994-2005, lethal injection): During the robbery of a hotel, Miller attacked the auditor, 25 year old Kent Dodd, with a hedge shear and paint cans, and took $122 from the register. Dodd was severely beaten, had muriatic acid shoved down his throat, and was left to die. Just before he died of his injuries, Dodd gave a description of his attacker to the police that matched Miller. A massive amount of circumstantial evidence, such as wearing shoes that resembled the bloodstained footprints next to Dodd's body, a microscopic drop of blood found on his shoes that was tentatively linked to Dodd, his wife's testimony of his unaccounted absence from their home during the murder, and what appeared to be Dodd writing Miller's alias that he knew him by in his own blood, convicted him. Miller’s friends also reported that he was broke and begging them for money a day before the murder, and his wife mentioned him giving her the same amount of money that was stolen from the robbery a day after it happened.
78. Michael Pennington (1991-2005, lethal injection): Pennington shot and killed a clerk, 20 year old Bradley Grooms, while trying to rob a 7-eleven grocery store. He left empty handed when the register failed to open.
79. Kenneth Turrentine (1994-2005, lethal injection): Under the belief that they were stealing money from him for drugs, Turrentine shot and killed his sister, 48 year old Avon Stevenson, and his girlfriend, 39 year old Anita Richardson, during confrontations in their homes. He also gunned down Anita's two children, 22 year old Tina Pennington and 13 year old Martise.
80. Richard Thornburg Jr. (1996-2006, lethal injection): A month after he was shot by an unknown assailant, Thornburg and his accomplices sought revenge by abducting 5 men that he thought was responsible from a trailer. Three of the hostages, 51 year old James Poteet, 39 year old Tery Sheppard, and 24 year old Kieth Smith, were gunned down on the spot, and Thornberg forced the fourth to shoot the fifth with the threat of killing him if he didn’t comply. They then burned down the trailer with the wounded fifth victim still trapped inside, but he managed to escape with his life. Despite being forced to put all the blame on himself in exchange for being spared, the fourth hostage still went forward to the police.
81. John Boltz (1984-2006, lethal injection): To spite his estranged wife following an argument, Boltz attacked her son, 23 year old Doug Kirby, with a knife. Kirby was stabbed a total of 11 times, and he received several fatal wounds to his chest, stomach, and neck.
82. Eric Patton (1994-2006, lethal injection): Patton forced his way into the home of 56 year old Charlene Kauer after she refused his pleading for money. After dragging her around the house as he searched for valuables, Patton stabbed Kauer several times with many different blades objects at hand such as scissors, barbecue forks, and kitchen knifes. Although he confessed to the murder, Patton blamed it on alleged demonic possession and his cocaine addiction.
83. James Malicoat (1997-2006, lethal injection): Malicoat slammed Tessa Leadford, his 13 month old daughter, against a dresser. After she died from the beating, he tucked her into bed, and waited until his daughter's mother returned from work to take her to the hospital. The doctors found that Leadford had been dead for several hours at the time of her arrival, and discovered several injuries such as broken ribs, bite marks, abdominal bleeding, and facial bruising on her body. By his own account, he had abused Leadford on a daily basis. For her role in enabling her boyfriend's treatment of their daughter, Leadford's mother was convicted of first degree murder and given a life sentence.
84. Corey Hamilton (1992-2007, lethal injection): During the robbery of a restaurant, Hamilton shot and killed 4 employees, 26 year old Sandy Lara, 24 year old Stephen Williams, 19 year old Ted Kindley, and 17 year old Joseph Gooch, and made off with $2,000.
85. Jimmy Bland (~1975-2007, lethal injection): Bland shot his boss, 62 year old Doyle Rains, in the head over an argument regarding a borrowed car and dumped the body in a creek. He was previously convicted of killing a soldier, Raymond Prentice (age unknown), and abducting the man's wife and son at the age of 19. Bland served a 20 out of 60 year sentence, and murdered Rains a year after he was released.
86. Frank Welch (~1987-2008, lethal injection): In 1987, Welch attacked 28 year old Jo Cooper, who was 4 months pregnant with her second child, in her home. She was tied up with leather straps, raped and violated with plastic toys, and strangled to death. Cooper’s body was found laying near her infant son by her husband. Another woman, 32 year old Debra Stevens, was also bound, raped, and strangled to death in her home in a near identical fashion a few months later. Although both murders went unsolved for several years, Welch abducted and raped a woman in 1994, and he received a 45 year sentence for it. His DNA samples was collected and filed after his abduction conviction, and linked to both Cooper and Stevens’ murders in a 1997 test.
87. Terry Short (1995-2008, lethal injection): In an attempt to kill his ex girlfriend, Short blew up her apartment complex with a firebomb. She and her family managed to escape, but the blast killed Ken Yamamoto, a 22 year old Japanese exchange student. Yamamoto had no connections to the targeted ex girlfriend's family beyond him having the misfortune of residing in the same apartment.
88. Jessie Cummings Jr. (1991-2009, lethal injection): Cummings was a polygamist that had married and lived with two wives. Under his orders, Cummings’ wives shot and killed his estranged half sister, 46 year old Judy Mayo, and kidnapped her daughter, 11 year old Melissa. He bound his niece to his bed with handcuffs to be raped, and stabbed her to death.
89. Darwin Brown (1995-2009, lethal injection): While robbing a grocery store with three accomplices (including Billy Alverson and Michael Wilson), Brown tied up the clerk, 30 year old Richard Yost, with handcuffs, and then bludgeoned him death with a metal baseball bat. The killing was caught by security cameras, and the footage was used by the prosecution to secure the convictions of Brown and his accomplices.
90. Donald Gilson (1995-2009, lethal injection): Gilson routinely physically abused his live in girlfriend's 5 children (who were all between the ages of 8 and 12 years old). The youngest, 8 year old Shane Coffman, was beaten to death with a board for defecating on the living room carpet. He and his girlfriend then hid the body by stuffing it in a freezer. The body was kept inside it for 6 months until it was discovered by a sheriff's deputy investigating the family's abuse allegations. Gilson's girlfriend was spared the death penalty with a plea deal, and given a life sentence without the possibility of parole for her part in her son's abuse and murder.
91. Michael DeLozier (1995-2009, lethal injection): While camping with his friends, DeLozier ambushed another pair of campers, 60 year old Orville Bullard and 54 year old Paul Morgan, and shot them to death. They stole Morgan and Bullard's generator, pick up truck, and other camping gear. To cover up their tracks, DeLozier and his friends set their victims' campsite on fire, and severely burned the bodies.
92. Julius Young (1993-2010, lethal injection): For breaking off their relationship, Young beat his ex girlfriend, 20 year old Joyland Morgan and her 6 year old son Kewan, to death with a baseball bat in their apartment.
93. Donald Wackerly II (1996-2010, lethal injection): Wackerly and his wife ambushed and gunned down Pan Sayakhoummane, a 51 year old Laotian immigrant, while he was fishing in the Arkansas River. After he placed Sayakhoummane's body in the man’s own truck, he pushed into a river, and stole his fishing gear. A few months after the murder, Wackerly’s wife turned him in to the police.
94. John Duty (~1970s-2010, lethal injection): Duty was given a life sentence for abducting, raping, and non fatally shooting a female store clerk during a robbery. While incarcerated, he tricked a fellow inmate, 22 year old Curtis Wise Jr. into allowing himself to be tied up as a part of a hostage ruse, and then strangled him to death with shoelaces. At the time of his murder, Wise was serving a conviction for burglary and contributing to the delinquency of minors. Duty's execution caused some controversy for the use of pentobarbital, a drug more commonly utilized by veterinarians to euthanize pets.
95. Billy Alverson (1995-2011, lethal injection): Alverson assisted the above mentioned Darwin Brown and Micheal Wilson in the beating death of Richard Yost while robbing a convenience store.
96. Jeffrey Matthews (1994-2011, lethal injection): Matthews and his accomplice shot and killed his great uncle, 77 year old Otis Short, while robbing the man's home. In the robbery, they stole Short's truck, his .32 calibre pistol, and $500. The pair also slit the throat of Short's wife, but she survived her injuries.
97. Gary Welch (~1993-2011, lethal injection): During a fight over a drug shipment, Welch and his partner stabbed another dealer, 32 year old Robert Hardcastle, to death with broken glass bottles. He was previously convicted of battery with a deadly weapon, and was off on probation at the time of Hardcastle's murder.
98. Timothy Stemple (1996-2012, lethal injection): Stemple conspired with his girlfriend to murder his wife, 30 year old Trisha, for her life insurance policy. With the help of his girlfriend's 16 year old nephew or cousin [sources vary], Stemple beat Trisha with a baseball bat, and rammed her to death with his truck.
99. Michael Selsor (~1975-2012, lethal injection): Selsor and his accomplice went on a crime spree and robbed several convenience stores. During their robberies, the pair shot and killed two clerks, 55 year old Clayton Chandler and 20 year old Ina Morris, and injured two others in shooting and stabbing attacks.
100. Michael Hooper (~1992-2012, lethal injection): Hooper kidnapped his ex girlfriend, 23 year old Cynthia Jarman, and her children, 5 year old Timothy and 3 year old Tonya, from her boyfriend's residence. He shot all three of them dead, and buried the bodies in a rancher's field. According to court documents, Hooper was hyper-violent towards Cynthia in their year long relationship.
101. Garry Allen (1986-2012, lethal injection): Allen shot and killed his fiancee, 24 year old Lawanna Titsworth, during an argument at a day care she worked at. He fought with the responding officers trying to arrest him in an attempt to provoke a "suicide by cop" outcome. Despite the officers' best efforts to avoid harming him, Allen lost his eye from an accidental discharge. Due to claims of him having schizophrenia, Allen's execution was a source of controversy.
102. George Ochoa (~1993-2012, lethal injection): A Southside Locos gang member, Ochoa and another hoodlum shot and killed a couple, 38 year old Francisco Morales and 35 year old Maria Yanez, while burglarizing their home. The murders were witnessed by the couple's 14 year old and 10 year old children and stepchildren, who then phoned the police after the shooters' departure.
103. Steven Thacker (~1980s-2012, lethal injection): Thacker kidnapped 25 year old Laci Hill during a botched robbery of her home, and took her to a remote cabin to be raped. She was then strangled and stabbed to death. He fled to Missouri, fatally stabbed 24 year old Forrest Boyd while carjacking him, and used his car to hide out in Tennessee. After the stolen car broke down, Thacker called a tow truck to pick him up. When the driver, 52 year old Ray Patterson, found that he was using a stolen credit card, Thacker stabbed him to death as well. As a teenager, Thacker committed several acts of auto thefts and burglaries. He also engaged in inappropriate relationships with underaged girls, and was released from a Florida prison after serving time for a bad check conviction months before his murders.
104. James DeRosa (2000-2013, lethal injection): DeRosa and his accomplice tricked a couple, 73 year old Curtis and 70 year old Gloria Plummer, that he worked for on their ranch, into letting them inside their house. After they stabbed the Plummers and slit their throats, DeRosa and his accomplice stole $73 and drove away with their truck.
105. Brian Davis (2001-2013, lethal injection): Davis went searching for his girlfriend and their daughter when he found them missing from their home, and called his girlfriend's mother, 56 year old Josephine Sanford, about their whereabouts. Sanford dropped by the couple's residence after failing to find her daughter and granddaughter. At her arrival, she was raped, beaten, and stabbed to death by Davis. He then left the body in the house, drove off with Sanford’s van, and injured himself in a car accident. As Davis was high while driving, he was arrested for being under the influence. The detaining officers weren’t aware of the murder until Davis’ girlfriend returned to the home later that night, and called 911 after finding her mother’s corpse.
106. Anthony Banks (~1978-2013, lethal injection): In 1978, while robbing a grocery store, Banks shot and killed a clerk, 22 year old David Fremin. A year later, he abducted Sun Travis, a 24 year old South Korean immigrant, from a parking lot. He then sexually assaulted Travis in his car and shot her in the head. Although he was captured and convicted for Fremin's murder, Travis' killing went unsolved until a 1997 DNA test. Banks was originally sentenced to death for Fremin's murder, but it was lifted in favor of a life sentence. He was condemned for a second time after his conviction for Travis' murder.
107. Ronald Lott (~1980s-2013, lethal injection): A sexual predator of elderly women, Lott broke into the homes of 93 year old Zelma Cutler and 83 year old Anna Fowler after cutting off their power. They were tied up with cloth, anally penetrated, beaten, and suffocated to death with pillowcases. The case attracted controversy when another man was erroneously condemned for the murders, and he spent 11 years on death row until a 1997 DNA test linked the murders to Lott. At the time of the discovery, Lott was serving time for two rape convictions.
108. Johnny Black (~1984-2013, lethal injection): Black, two of his brothers, and two other men went looking for a man they feuded with for a fight. While they were crusing on the road, the group encountered a rancher, 54 year old Bill Pogue, and mistook him for their target due to them driving similar vehicles. They forced Poque off the road, pulled him out of his car, and stabbed him a total of 10 times. Pogue's son in law was also dragged out and attacked, but he managed to escape with his life. Black was previously convicted of manslaughter for shooting 49 year old Cecil Martin dead in an argument.
109. Michael Wilson (1995-2014, lethal injection): Wilson was the third participant in the above mentioned beating death of Richard Yost to be executed.
110. Kenneth Hogan (1988-2014, lethal injection): Hogan stabbed 21 year old Lisa Stanley to death while she was babysitting his children. According to autopsy reports, she was stabbed at least 25 times. Stanley had previously accused him of sexual misconduct, and prosecutors believed that she was killed during an argument over the allegations.
111. Clayton Lockett (~1992-2014, lethal injection): Lockett, his cousin, and another accomplice kidnapped 23 year old Bobby Bornt, 18 year old Summer Hair, and Bornt's 9 month son after burglarizing a home. After tying them up with duct tape, they forced their captives to lure a friend, 19 year old Stephanie Neiman, with a phone call. Neiman was also bound and initially survived getting shot multiple times. Out of frustration, Lockett buried her alive, and she succumbed to a combination of suffocation and her injuries. Lockett and his accomplices also gang-raped Hair and beat Bornt, but spared them on the forced condition of their silence. His execution was controversial, as Lockett convulsed for 45 minutes after being injected, and then died from a heart attack. He also had a long criminal history, and was first arrested for burglary as a teenager.
112. Charles Warner (1997-2015, lethal injection): Warner raped his girlfriend's daughter, 11 month old Adriana Waller, and shook her to death. His execution sparked outcry, as the wrong fatal drug was administered by mistake, and Warner complained of "burning pain" as he was being injected. With the botched executions of Lockett and Warner back to back, the state of Oklahoma delayed further executions until 2021.
113. John Grant (~1970s-2021, lethal injection): While serving a 130 year sentence for armed robbery, Grant stabbed a prison cafeteria worker, 58 year old Gay Carter, to death. He had a long criminal history dating back to the ag e of 11, had several previous convictions of theft and armed robbery, and frequently fought with and assaulted other inmates behind bars. Due to reports of "adverse reactions" to the lethal drugs, Grant's execution was scrutinized by a number of national media outlets.
114. Bigler Stouffer II (1985-2021, lethal injection): Stouffer shot and killed his ex girlfriend, 35 year old Linda Reaves, in her boyfriend's home for breaking up with him. Reaves' boyfriend was also seriously injured in the shooting.
115. Donald Grant (2001-2022, lethal injection): During a robbery of a hotel, Grant fatally shot, stabbed, and bludgeoned two employees, 43 year old Felicia Smith and 29 year old Brenda McElyea, and ran off with $1,500. He spent $200 of the stolen on paying for his girlfriend's bail.
116. Gilbert Postelle (~1998-2022, lethal injection): Postelle’s father was badly injured in a motorcycle accident, and they suspected that 57 year old James Anderson, 56 year old Terry Smith, 49 year old Donnie Swindler, and 26 year old Amy Wright were deliberately involved. Out a desire for vengeance, he recruited Postelle, his other son, and another man to kill them. All four victims were fatally gunned down in what was described as a “blitz attack” on their trailer. He was an addict and had several arrests for drug possession and manufacturing dating back to the age of 12.
117. James Coddington (1997-2022, lethal injection): After robbing a grocery store, Coddington went to the home of a friend and co worker, 73 year old Albert Hale, to ask for money. When Hale turned him down, Coddington retaliated by beating him with a claw hammer. Coddington stole $525 and went on to rob 5 more grocery stores. Hale was left alone with his injures for nearly an entire day until he was discovered by his son, and died in the hospital a day later.
118. Benjamin Cole Sr. (2002-2022, lethal injection): Out of anger that her crying interrupted his Nintendo game, Cole beat his daughter from his second wife, 9 month old Brianna, to death. He was previously convicted of abusing his son from a different marriage in California.
119. Richard Fairchild (1996-2023, lethal injection): Fairchild got into a fight with his girlfriend’s 17 year old daughter after making drunken sexual passes at her, and was enraged that she left with a cab driver. He took his anger out on the girl’s younger brother, 3 year old Adam Broomhall, and scalded him with a wall heater. He then repeatedly hit the boy, threw him against a table, and fatally hemorrhaged his head. Bromhall received over 26 blows during the beating.
120. Scott Eizember (2003-2023, lethal injection): Eizember snuck into his ex girlfriend's house to lie in wait for her. However, her roommates, 76 year old A.J. Cantrell and his 70 year old wife Patsy, arrived home earlier then she did. He shot and beat them both to death and then fled the scene.
121. Jemaine Cannon (1995-2023, lethal injection): Cannon was put in prison for assaulting an unidentified woman. He managed to escape and stabbed his girlfriend, 20 year old Sharonda Clark, to death in her apartment.
122. Anthony Sanchez (1996-2023, lethal injection): Sanchez kidnapped 21 year old Jewell Busken from her apartment complex, and then raped and shot her to death. He amassed a following from the anti death penalty movement for claiming that his father was responsible, but such notions were debunked following a 2023 DNA test that concluded Sanchez’s guilt.
123. Phillip Hancock (~1982-2023, lethal injection): In 1982, Hancock shot a drug dealer, 27 year old Charles Warren, dead in a dispute over stolen jewelry and was given a manslaughter conviction for it. He was released after serving a 2 year term. About 17 years later, he shot and killed 58 year old James Lynch III and 37 year old Robert Jett Jr. in a drug house. Despite an eyewitness account describing Lynch and Jett begging for their lives, the case attracted scrutiny when Hancock's attorneys claimed that the shootings were done in self defense.
124. Michael Smith (~2002-2024, lethal injection): A member of the Oak Grove Posse gang, Smith was responsible for two separate fatal shootings on the same day. In one of his murders, he killed Sharath Pulluru, a 24 year old Indian immigrant that worked as a clerk, while robbing a gas station. The other murder occurred when he tried to confront a gang member that he thought was a police informant in his apartment, and gunned down the target’s mother, 40 year old Janet Miller-Moore, when she refused to give away her son’s location. Smith was also given a life sentence for delivering a gun to a shooter that carried out another gang killing.

Race Information

• Name: Pittsburgh Half
• Date: 5/5/24
• Distance: 13.1 miles
• Location: Pittsburgh
• Website: https://www.thepittsburghmarathon.com/races/half-marathon-1
• Time: 2:19:30

Goals

Goal	Description	Completed?
A	Finish!	Yes
B	Sub 2:20	Yes

Splits (A little off since I'm using strava data instead of the official times since they only had the 4.4 mile, 9.1, and Finish times)

Mile	Time
1	10:21
2	10:41
3	10:36
4	10:19
5	10:29
6	9:56
7	10:49
8	10:46
9	11:00
10	11:34
11	10:39
12	10:14
13	8:56
0.3	6:59 (pace I think? it didn't take 7 minutes)

Training

I've been shooting for the half marathon since around Thanksgiving this past year from having never really been a runner (the closest I got was when I signed up for cross country in 7th grade in the summer, then got so scared of embarrassment and pain that I was crying for my parents to take me out of it lol). Probably something to unpack there, oh well! Not too stressed about it now :)
My girlfriend's mom has been a huge role model for me since she restarted in 2020 and was really supportive when I started out on C25k and beyond. My weekly training ended up being mostly 3 days of running leading up to the 10 miler race with around 16 - 20 miles per week, but I realized that I'd love to increase how many days I'm running a week and started to slowly add in 2 mile days on tuesdays and/or thursdays to begin that habit for the last couple of weeks before Pittsburgh. I don't think these had any tangible benefits for PGH, but it was a big mental help as I could tell I wanted to continue the positive benefits I've seen from running into higher mileage and a long term hobby.
It was super cool to be able to have done the Cherry Blossom 10 miler with her and my dad out in DC as a training run, and it was there that I pleasantly surprised myself - I had thought that I'd be able to hang on at around an 11 minute pace for that, but my dad, who has run something like 7 marathons, paced me and helped me to not go out too quick. This meant that my pace for the 10 miler was around 10:30 and it felt really comfortable, so I wanted to set that as my goal pace for Pittsburgh!
The last 4 -5 weeks before Pittsburgh went super well and I was able to practice fueling with regular long runs that got up to 12 miles the week before. This was probably a mistake since I then went out and partied hard at an open bar my Grad school hosted, but it was really good for me mentally to have gotten near the race distance. I took off the week before as a small taper and dealt with a fair amount of nerves that I had done my longest run too close to the race (which tbf I did).
I flew in through Detroit, and spent the days leading up to the race having to unfortunately get up way too early and had a bit of a sleep debt, but thankfully the excitement from the race kept me afloat! I met up with my brother, dad, and girlfriend's mom who were all running and we had a blast the day before the race at a brewery the night before, and we got to meet up with my cousin and her husband and hang out with their menagerie of 2 cats and 2 dogs.
Slept great, and woke up with plenty of time to eat an oatmeal bar and some coffee before heading to the corrals. Unfortunately, my dad put himself in a corral back from my brother and I in Corral C, so it was just us running together since my girlfriend's mom was a corral up from us in corral B. I was definitely jittery on the start line, but it helped that my brother didn't mind me jabbering away to distract myself.

Race

I was so happy to have had my brother running with me! We got some neon bright hats at the expo which helped with some of the rain we got in the beginning and it made us pretty easy to spot for my gf's dad who was there as a spectator. Miles 1 - 6 went really well! Having my brother with me made me make sure to check I wasn't going to quick as he didn't have a watch with him to check our splits. I was amazed at how much adrenaline and the crowd made me speed up, and I felt like we were both constantly needing to cool our speed so that we had some gas left in the tank for the hills I had heard on the back half of the half marathon course, and especially for what I had heard was a large hill at mile 12. We saw my gf's dad between mile 4 and 5, and he was able to catch a great video of us running together :)
Miles 7-10 were where I started to hit some mental challenges. If I'm remembering right, this is where we started to get away from the crowds and headed towards some slightly biggelonger hills. Especially without crowd support, some of the longer slightly uphill grades felt like torture, so we slowed a bit and tried to take it easy through them. This is where I started to regret some of the stomach problems I'd had from using the honey stinger gels in training as it made me really hesitant to use them during the race. I find honey stinger gels to be sickeningly sweet at times, so I had only grabbed some of the gummies they had offered for free at the expo as those had gone down better. However as a result, I didn't fuel anywhere near as often as I know I should/can handle, and I think that definitely contributed to having a tougher time in 7-10.
Thankfully, somewhere in there I was drinking nuun at every water stop and got a banana from a kind volunteer, so I started to feel better. I also loved the gummy worm mile they had set up, as well as all the signs! Every time I saw a sign that made me laugh and smile, I got a huge burst of energy. While I was beginning to feel better, my brother was beginning to get some pretty bad cramping in his legs. I hadn't realized it at the time, but my normal routes for my week have more elevation change than I thought, and I think that helped a lot, whereas my brother, living in MN, had to work to go find hills and elevation to work in. Eventually, he told me to just go on ahead and that he'd meet me at the finish.
Miles 11 - end
I had really wanted to finish this strong, and I'm really glad I took it conservative as a first. I was a bit freaked out at mile 11 because that was the mile marker that begin the big hill everyone had been telling me about. Thing was, I couldn't remember if this was the big one, or if this was just the lead up to the big one at the mile 12 marker! I couldn't help but laugh at myself a bit for forgetting which mile I was in, and kinda just went for it. I knew if I could make it to the top of the hill, I'd be able to turn on some gas and do my best to bomb it down to the finish. I tried to remember what had happened at the Cherry Blossom 10 miler where I had done the same and blown up a bit trying to go quick the last two miles, so I made sure that it was quicker but still sustainable. Thankfully, this bit went really well, and I was able to get a sprint finish at the end to beat my A and B goals.

Post-race

I was pretty toast after hitting the finish line, so I took it slow, got my medal, and made sure to get some electrolytes in me. I was out of it for a bit, but within a couple minutes was feeling pretty good minus some soreness and mild pain in my right knee. I waited by one of the spotter places to meet my brother, and was happy to find out he had gotten through the cramping and came in about 5 minutes behind me. We met up with my gf's parents in the beer garden, and waited there to meet my dad. He found us after about 15 minutes - it sounded like two things had really gotten to him: humidity and the crowding of his corral. He was pretty frustrated with how crowded it was the first 4-5 miles for him as PGH/or the self reported paces for Corral D had a lot of walkers (which is cool btw) who had apparently blocked off a lot of the path (not so cool) making it hard to get around. He was dodging in and out for quite a while, and I wish we had coordinated our reported paces since he easily could have held with my brother and I. Lesson learned for next race!
I was pretty emotional about it as I've always thought of myself as a very unathletic person, and it was really special to be able to share my first half with my family. I had a lot of memories of being a spectator at my dad's marathons, and it was cool to be on the other side of it! Got some great pictures, and we all headed back to the hotel to enjoy a quick lunch at the restaurant that was in the lobby. It was pretty intense to see a lot of the marathon folks still out on the course - it looked like a suffer-fest (but definitely piqued my interest...it's in the cards before my 26th birthday) Got some bourbon and some nachos and couldn't have been happier before we all collapsed for a post-race nap!
Made with a new race report generator created by []().

Hey I have a rough itinerary for a solo 14+ day trip - I can move the return date within limits.
I'm interested in food, art, music (especially drum and bass, garage, techno, house in that order), fashion. Less into anime, manga etc but will go if it'll be interesting.
I'm also happy to spend a bit more money for convenience or a unique experience.
The last couple of days I'd like to focus on nightlife if theres recommendations. If theres food recommendations too, especially for solo travellers I'd be keen. Maybe places that focus on wagyu, or chef's choice?
Arrive - Mon 3^rd

Arrive Midday
Get to Hostel
Akihabara area (Electric town) – Asakusa (shopping), Nakamise Dori Street - Senso Ji shrine (may be busy)
Dinner around Akihabara - Asahi Sky Room

Tokyo - Tue 4^th

Breakfast - Togoshiya
Roppongi area - Teamlab borderless (need to book), Mori art museum, Tokyo city view
Lunch in Roppongi: Gyopao gyoza
Shinjuku area – piss alley, golden gai. ?Try to meet people in hostel
Dinner around Shinjuku – Shabu Zen Shibuya
Bar Martha Listening bar

Tokyo - Wed 5^th

Sushi making class https://www.getyourguide.co.uk/tokyo-l193/temari-sushi-making-classcute-sushi-class-t499568/?ranking_uuid=4530e481-1d27-4882-a187-2af6e40c0aab
Shibuya area - Meiji Jingu (shrine and forest), Yoyogi park (paths, ponds, snacks), Harajuku, Takeshita Street. See Shibuya crossing
Forestlimit listening bar

Tokyo - Thu 6^th

Tokyo to Nikko Day Trip https://www.klook.com/en-GB/activity/78028-nikko-toshogu-world-heritage-site-one-day-bus-tour-tokyo/?spm=SearchResult.SearchResult_LIST&clickId=7f166f8d41

Tokyo to Kyoto (Last train 8pm)
Kyoto- Fri 7^th

Arashiyama Bamboo Grove (sunrise)
Kinkaku-Ji Temple “Golden Pavillion”
Zen gardens

Kyoto- Sat 8^th

Kyoto to Nara Half Day Trip https://www.getyourguide.com/nara-l1707/nara-half-day-unesco-heritage-local-culture-walking-tour-t345431?ranking_uuid=c36cc7e3-96f3-4b93-b44c-b51444599077&date_from=2024-06-10&_pc=1,1
Nishiki Market if time
Gion district (see geisha culture)

Kyoto - Sun 9^th

Fushimi-Inari-Taisha Shrine (tunnel shrine, 2-3h ?sunrise)
Higashiyama district (historic)
Fushimi Inari Taisha (shrine, go late / sunset)
Kyoto to Kinsaki (?late)

Kinosaki - Mon 10^th

Experience O/nsen

Kinosaki – Tue 11^th

Kinosaki Walking tour
Rent cycle and go to genbudo caves.
Dinner - https://visitkinosaki.com/tour-packages/takeno-luxurious-fresh-japanese-seafood-course/

Kinosaki – Wed 12^th

Kinosaki to Himeji (early)
Himeji Castle and kokoen castle
Himeji to Hiroshima (mid-late)

Hiroshima - Thu 13^th

Atomic Bomb Dome, Ground Zero, Children’s Peace Monument, and Cenotaph
Ferry to Miyajima Island
Itsukushima Shrine (floating torii)
Hike Mount Misen
Ferry back to Hiroshima (8pm)

Fri 14^th

Hiroshima to Tokyo (early)
Explore Harajuku
Ginza (shopping?)
IFlyeResident adviser ?event ?Atom

Sat 15^th

Food: https://res-reserve.com/ja/restaurants/aladdin?step=course
Shelter Listening bar?
Forestlimit listening bar - event on

Sun 16^{th
Ghibli museum}

Please, feel free to add any events below! Check out the Visitor's Guide for more things to do around town!
Looking to meet up with people? Check out Meetup St. Louis.
Be sure to continue scrolling past the Weekly Events for Trivia Nights, Live Music, Sporting Events, Local Comedy, and more!
​

• Bacon Fest at Alpha Brewing Company
  • May 19, 2024
  • Bacon lovers, rejoice! Alpha Brewing Co. is hosting a sizzling event on May 19. Tickets to Bacon Fest include all the bacon and beer that you can consume – plus, live music from two bands.
• Cardinals HOF Presents: Flashback Fridays
  • May 17, 2024
  • Visit the Cardinals Museum for a candid interview in our Sportsman's Park Theater with former Cardinals Catcher Mike Matheny on Friday, May 17th at 4:30pm.
• Cardinals HOF Presents: Saturday Signings
  • May 18, 2024
  • Saturday, May 18th is Saturday Signings with former Cardinals Catcher Mike Matheny from 2-4pm in the Cardinals Museum!
• Chess at the Brewery
  • Every Wednesday
  • Local meetup group of chess players that meet at breweries on Wednesday nights. They rotate locations each week.
  • See their Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/chessatthebrewery/) for the location this week.
• Chinese Culture Days at Missouri Botanical Garden
  • May 18 - 19, 2024
  • Chinese Culture Days at the Missouri Botanical Garden feature colorful Chinese pageantry, music, dance and art.
  • At the event, you can also immerse yourself in the history and legends of China while enjoying traditional cuisine.
• E.T. Bracket Series at World Wide Technology Raceway
  • May 18, 2024
  • The E.T. Bracket Series presented by Carl’s 4WD & Performance Center at World Wide Technology Raceway allows drivers in different vehicles to compete on an equal basis against each other.
• Family Night with Fredbird
  • Wednesdays
  • Join others at Cardinals Nation Restaurant & Bar for Family Night with Fredbird on select Wednesday evenings this off-season! Bring your family down for games, prizes, and meet Fredbird from 6:30-7:30pm.
• Karaoke Wednesdays at HandleBar
  • Every Wednesday
  • Browse the catalog and find your favorite songs to sing! Songbookslive.com/stlredcarpet
• Karaoke Wednesdays at Mack's Bar & Grill
  • Every Wednesday
• Landmarks Downtown Walking Tours
  • Every Saturday
  • Landmarks Downtown St. Louis Walking Tours: History, Culture, Architecture, and Exercise: What could be better on a Saturday morning.
• Native American Art of the 20th Century: The William P. Healey Collection at St. Louis Art Museum
  • February 23 - July 14, 2024
  • Native American Art of the 20th Century: The William P. Healey Collection celebrates a transformative gift of outstanding works by Native American artists active across the 20th century. The promised gift of 100 works establishes a critical junction between the Saint Louis Art Museum’s deep collection of pre-1920 Indigenous art and a growing emphasis on the contemporary.
• Open Mic Night at Schlafly Bottleworks (Maplewood)
  • Every Wednesday
  • Join others every Wednesday evening and showcase your talents with our Open Mic Night! Open sign up begins at 6:30PM with music starting at 7:00PM. They welcome original material, covers and spoken word! Grab a beer, then play and listen every Wednesday! There are no cover charges and no drink minimums to attend.
• Pointfest
  • May 18, 2024
  • POINTFEST returns to Hollywood Casino Amphitheatre - St. Louis on May 18.
• Ranken Technical College Midnight Madness at World Wide Technology Raceway
  • May 17, 2024
  • The Ranken Technical College Midnight Madness program fueled by NOS Energy Drinks offers a safer alternative to illegal street racing.
  • Organized yet informal drag racing will take place on the confines of World Wide Technology Raceway’s NHRA-sanctioned ¼-mile drag strip on select Fridays throughout the season.
• Soulard Farmer's Market
  • Wednesdays - Saturdays
  • Soulard Farmers Market is located at 730 Carroll Street in St. Louis, Missouri, a half mile north of the Anheuser-Busch Brewery. The market is open Wednesday through Saturday, year round. They feature locally grown and shipped in goods, including: produce, meats, cheeses, spices, gourmet kettle corn, flowers, baked goods, and general merchandise. There are also several different eateries that have many food options, which allows customers the convenience to grab a quick bite to eat and a drink while shopping.
• St. Louis CITY Block Party
  • May 15, 2024
  • Before the St. Louis CITY SC vs LAFC match kickoff, get the party started early with happy hour on Lou Fusz Plaza at CITYPARK and live DJ entertainment! CITY SC presents the free CITY Block Party featuring DJ Chris Brown as well as local food and beverage vendors, fan giveaways, and games and activities for all ages. The block party is free and open to the public.
• St. Louis CITY SC Street Party at Schlafly Tap Room
  • May 15, 2024
  • In celebration of ALL home soccer games, Schlafly will close down "Louligan Street" and support our team the only way they know how: great food, drinks, and fun. There are beer tents, food trucks, special (game day and late night) menus, and more. Get here early and park!
• Sunday Bingo at Tim's Chrome Bar
  • Every Sunday
  • Get in the mood for some fun with an afternoon of BINGO at Tim’s. They'll supply the cards and daubers. Just bring yourself and your BINGO loving friends. Play for some good laughs and a variety prizes. Bar opens at 12 p.m., they'll start BINGO at 3 p.m. Cheers!
• Sunset Rooftop Yoga at Ballpark Village
  • May 16, 2024
  • Unwind on the rooftop of Ballpark Village in St. Louis during a one-hour yoga class led by YogaSix.
  • After the session, nama-stay for exclusive happy hour offers such as $3 domestic beers and $5 select cocktails.
• Taste of Maplewood
  • May 17 - 18, 2024
  • The Taste of Maplewood brings together our area’s most renowned restaurants, beloved boutiques, and one-of-a-kind novelty shops for a street party with live music on two stages, all in the heart of downtown Maplewood. Join us on Friday night for live music and a sampling of food vendors before the main event kicks off on Saturday.
  • In its 16th year, the festival’s vibe is distinct and unmistakable, radiating the culture and character of the local businesses.
• Thursday Nights at the Museum
  • Every Thursday
  • Kick off your weekend at the Missouri History Museum in Forest Park! Each Thursday Night at the Museum will be the most fun, engaging, uplifting, thought-provoking, perspective-shaping night of your week. And there are drinks.
  • Join others starting at 5:30pm for happy hour and pop-up activities, such as brief tours, games, and performances. The main stage comes to life at 6:30pm, light appetizers and drinks are available for purchase until 7:00pm, and the Museum’s exhibits are open until 8:00pm for you to explore!
• Tower Grove Farmer's Market
  • Every Tuesday & Saturday
  • Join others every Saturday of the 2023 Tower Grove Farmers Market Season. They'll have over 100 vendors with local produce, meat, flowers, eggs, honey, prepared foods, art, jewelry, live music, and so much more.
• Vietnam: At War and At Home at Soldiers Memorial
  • Running until May 27, 2024
  • In 'Vietnam: At War and At Home' at Soldiers Memorial Military Museum, the story of the war’s origins, execution, conclusion and legacy are presented in engaging, accessible and evocative ways. The exhibit presents a diverse and holistic snapshot of the turbulent times in Vietnam, in the U.S. and in the St. Louis region.

​

Sporting Events This Week	Attractions Around the Area	Comedy This Week
St. Louis Cardinals schedule	Anheuser-Busch Brewery	Funny Bone Comedy Club
St. Louis Blues schedule	City Museum	Helium Comedy Club
St. Louis City SC schedule	Gateway Arch	The Improv Shop
St. Louis Battlehawks schedule	Missouri History Museum
St. Louis Billikens schedule	National Blues Museum

​

Trivia Nights
Location	Date/Time	More Information
Anheuser-Busch Biergarten	Tuesdays 6:00 pm - 8:00 pm	Trivia Details
Bar K	Tuesdays at 7:00 pm
City Foundry	Thursdays 7:00 pm - 9:00 pm
Crack Fox	Mondays 6:00 pm - 10:00 pm	They host a weekly free tournament and game night. Emphasis on Non Alcoholic refreshments and camaraderie.
Joey B's on the Hill	Mondays 8:30 pm - 10:30 pm	Trivia Details
Nick's Pub	Mondays
Felix's Pizza Pub	Tuesdays at 8:00 pm	Trivia Details
ITAP (Delmar Loop)	Wednesdays at 7:00 pm
ITAP (Soulard)	Tuesdays at 7:00 pm
Schlafly Brewpubs (Any Location)	Tuesdays 7:00 pm - 9:00 pm	Trivia Details
Rockwell Beer Co	Tuesdays	Trivia Details (Reservations required)
The Mack	Tuesdays at 8:00 pm	Trivia Details
The Pat Connolly Tavern	Wednesdays at 7:00 pm
The Post	Wednesdays 8:00 pm - 10:00 pm	Trivia Details
Pieces Board Game Bar & Cafe	Wednesdays	Trivia Details
HandleBar	Thursdays at 7:00 pm - 9:00 pm	Trivia Details
Steve's Hot Dogs	Tuesdays 7:30 pm - 9:30 pm	Trivia Details
Wellspent Brewing	Thursdays at 7:00 pm

​

Live Music This Week
Music Venues	Live Music Around Town
Blueberry Hill Duck Room	1860 Saloon
Chesterfield Amphitheater	BB's Jazz, Blues & Soups
Delmar Hall	Broadway Oyster Bar
Enterprise Center	City Foundry
The Fabulous Fox Theatre	Gallery Pub
The Factory	Game 6 Honky Tonk
Hollywood Casino Amphitheatre	Gaslight Lounge
Off Broadway	The Heavy Anchor
Old Rock House	Jazz St. Louis
The Pageant	Joe's Cafe
Red Flag	The Lot on the Landing
The Sheldon	Tim's Chrome Bar
St. Louis Music Park	McGurk's
St. Louis Symphony Concert Calendar	SoFar St. Louis Secret performances around town
Stifel Theatre	Venice Cafe
	Yaquis on Cherokee

​

Recurring Outdoor Activities
Big Muddy Adventures – STL Riverfront Adventure	Big Muddy Adventures was established in 2002. They are the first professional outfitteguiding company providing access to the wild wonders of the Middle Mississippi and Lower Missouri Rivers.
Gateway Arch Events	There are a variety of things to do along the Mississippi River.
Hidden Valley Ski Resort	Ziplining, scenic chairlift rides, and hiking trails opened during the summer. Skiing, snowboarding during the winter.

​

Salams! I grew up in MN where there is a huge Somali population and moving to Houston soon for work. I am nervous to be somewhere without my people Lol.
I’m sure there’s a small Somali population somewhere in Houston but does anyone know what side of town? Any Somali restaurants? Any info would help.

Check this out for Maple Grove Nordstrom Rack Coupon Code. Find the best deals for you by looking at the current promo codes and coupons on that page. You'll always find the newest coupons, promo codes, and deals on that page. Choose one to apply to your order and save money.

Edit: Apparently the beginning of wildfire smoke season took me by surprise
Out near the Fountains at Arbor Lakes and the whole area here is hazy, has a chemical smell, and is making everyone with me cough. It is covering at least a mile radius. We’re leaving but I want to know that the heck we just got exposed to.

Hi. 50F here. I grew up in central Illinois, moved around the country for a variety of jobs and now feeling a strong pull to move back home to the midwest. Schools are no longer important as my kids are in college. At least for now, I maintain a job that I can WFH.
I am looking for a mid-sized town with reasonable proximity to a large city (4 hours drive, give or take). Ideally, I'd live downtown within walking distance to the library, great locally owned restaurants, etc. Absolutely willing to buy/fix up a little cottage to be in a safe urban neighborhood. Do not want to be in the 'burbs. I don't drink beer, but do love a great cocktail. Although I love live sports, a community with an active arts and music scene would be amazing. I am an active community volunteer. I would struggle to be comfortable in a highly politically conservative region. Diversity is important.
Access to year-round outdoor activities is a must. I certainly appreciate how cold winters can be, but its the dreaded gloomy lack-of-sun that I'm hoping to minimize. I read that several midwestern towns typically don't see the sun for several weeks or even months. Clean air and clean water are a priority (sad that we have to even talk about that!) Is it also true that being on the west side of a great lake means more mild climate (and less snow)? With that being said, I have lived in Chicago and Kansas City and loved them both. I wouldn't mind moving back to either one, but would like to explore other options.
Towns I've been considering:
Madison, Milwaukee, Sturgeon Bay, Twin Cities (can you recommend other MN towns??) Grand Rapids, Traverse City, Des Moines, Galena, Ann Arbor, Pittsburgh.

Hi. 50F here. I grew up in central Illinois, moved around the country for a variety of jobs and now feeling a strong pull to move back home to the midwest. Schools are no longer important as my kids are in college. At least for now, I maintain a job that I can WFH.
I am looking for a mid-sized town with reasonable proximity to a large city (4 hours drive, give or take). Ideally, I'd live downtown within walking distance to the library, great locally owned restaurants, etc. Absolutely willing to buy/fix up a little cottage to be in a safe urban neighborhood. Do not want to be in the 'burbs. I don't drink beer, but do love a great cocktail. Although I love live sports, a community with an active arts and music scene would be amazing. I am an active community volunteer. I would struggle to be comfortable in a highly politically conservative region. Diversity is important.
Access to year-round outdoor activities is a must. I certainly appreciate how cold winters can be, but its the dreaded gloomy lack-of-sun that I'm hoping to minimize. I read that several midwestern towns typically don't see the sun for several weeks or even months. Clean air and clean water are a priority (sad that we have to even talk about that!) Is it also true that being on the west side of a great lake means more mild climate (and less snow)? With that being said, I have lived in Chicago and Kansas City and loved them both. I wouldn't mind moving back to either one, but would like to explore other options.
Towns I've been considering:
Madison, Milwaukee, Sturgeon Bay, Twin Cities (can you recommend other MN towns??) Grand Rapids, Traverse City, Des Moines, Galena, Ann Arbor, Pittsburgh.

Race Information
Name: Maple Grove Half Marathon
Date: May 11 2024
Distance: 13.1
Location: Maple Grove
Time: 2:17:25
Goals
GoalDescription Completed?
A Try my best Yes
B Don’t walk Yes
C Sub 2:25 Yes
D Sub 2:20 Yes
Splits
Mile Time 1 10:05
2 10:17
3 10:41
4 10:29
5 10:41
6 10:19
7 10:34
8 10:34
9 10:12
10 10:39
11 10:39
12 11:00
13 10:01
.1: 9.07
Training: I started out being fairly inactive. I weight lifted casually twice a week and hit 10k steps when I would work my part time job, no moderate-high intensity aerobic exercise experience. I randomly signed up for this race in December, and just knew I wanted to commit to it hard. I was bored with lifting and wanted to challenge myself to something new (and wanted to see the newbie gains again) I started not being able to run a mile straight in late November of 2023. In december, I started doing some infrequent runs of 1.5-2 miles each and by the end of december, I was finally able to run a mile in at about 12:30 pace. I prioritized getting good sleep every night and not drinking through the entire training block. I also strength trained mostly legs once a week and core+yoga once a week. By the end of January I saw massive improvement, getting my 5k time down from 43 to 38 minutes and my mile time down to a 9:30. I trained mostly with a friend. My mpw ranged from 12-15 in January. In the beginning of February, I was starting to enjoy running more as we had some warmer temps in minnesota. I also ran with my cousin who was a long time runner on vacation in florida. She helped pace me to an amazing 6 mile run, at a length and pace that I didn’t even know was possible at the time (11:30 average pace). My mpw ranged from 15-18 during february with a down week every 3 weeks. I mostly kept to easy running, with interval/tempo/fartlek work once a week and a long run on Saturday. I ran 4 times a week. In march I hit a 10 mile long run and a 33 minute 5k. I started setting my eyes on a sub 30 minute 5k. I never did a 10k race pace but my tempo 10k was 1:13. My mpw in march ranged from 19-21. In April, I did a “practice” 10 mile run at tempo pace of 11:15 min/mile with an average HR of 165. I was feeling locked in. Shortly after I also ran a 5k PR of 29 minutes and 7 seconds which I was so happy about. I had my last 10 mile long run two weeks out for race day at an easy pace. I then started tapering and relaxing for the race. I played kickball and capture the flag (involving a lot of sprinting) two days before the race, which probably didn’t help.
Pre race: I got 8 hours of sleep and woke up 2.5 hours before the race (not used to waking up at 5am but felt awake), ate my usual meal of whole wheat bread toasted with PB and honey and banana. I stretched, did my hair, and took a shit. We left later than I would have liked at 6:40 and got there at 7:10. It being my first half marathon, I gravely misjudged how long it would take to get ready and go to the bathroom before the race (really long lines). I ended up being late to the start and not having time to warm up (except with running to and from the bathroom)
Race: I started out fast at my high tempo pace of 10:00 flat because I wanted to catch and run with a pace group. I took 5 gels (one at the start then one every 30 minutes) and drank a total of 18oz of water. I quickly caught the 11:27 pace group which was my first time goal. We were going down a consistent downhill so I decided to get an ahead of them in anticipation of the overall 530 elevation gain later on. I realized I was going faster than I planned, but I felt so good! I eventually caught the 10:41 pace group that I sat with until mile 8. It was still comfortably hard. I was nervous looking at my watch that said I was running consistently at 185bpm-195bpm but I was still able to keep the same pace, so I just kept going and I WAS COOKING. I’d never done such a long run at this high effort before but the race vibes were hyping me up. The temperature was perfect and the scenery through a huge park and around a big lake was so pretty. My pace was holding steady until mile 11 (steadily got faster from mile 8 seperating ahead of the 10:41 group) when there was a big .5 mile hill. I slowed down a little, but was still able to speed up for the last mile of the race. Those last two miles was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done physically, pushing my HR to around its max at 205bpm. I was so amazed that I was able to run this fast (at a pace I would do for only 4 mile tempo runs at a time). I even had the energy to sprint to the finish at the end with my family and friends cheering me on.
Post race: I was so amazed and also gassed at the end of the race, PRing my 10k, 10 mile, and of course half marathon and getting my 3rd fastest time in the 5k and 2 mile. I stretched and walked while waiting for my friend to finish. I drank 60oz of water (half included electrolytes) About two and a half hours after I finished, I ate a large impossible burger and hash browns. I ate a lot because I thought I’d be hungry and need to fuel, but it actually gave me a huge stomach ache to the point where I felt like I would throw up. I didn’t though and overall felt amazing about my first race and running in general. I spent a lot of time reflecting on my progress and the race. It was an amazing experience and I can’t wait to do more!

I have been doing the initial planning for my honeymoon with my fiancé. We have never been to Japan, and know once we have kids, a trip like this becomes unlikely. We are trying to balance fast paced site seeing, with some relaxing time together. We see Tokyo & Osaka as our fast paced time, then Kyoto has site seeing with relaxation and mixed in. Lastly were going to Okinawa for a few days for just full relaxation and beach time.
Please look at my itinerary and let me know any must do's, any sites or restaurants we will be nearby and should check out, activities to consider, etc. (Restaurants were filled in by Chat GPT so they're all flexible for replacing).
Thanks!

• June 8: Land 1:35 PM Haneda airport
  • Arrive and check into ---. Take the evening to explore Shinjuku. Feel free to check out Shinjuku park since it is nearby. Try Omoide Yokocho for small, local izakaya-style dining.
  • Go back to hotel or hang around Shinjuku 7pm Reservation at Yonegami.
• June 9: Wake up when comfortable and head to Meiji Shrine. Go right there to beat the morning crowd. After, walk around Yoyogi park before heading to Harajuku for fashion and culture. Have lunch at Takeshita Street. Go back to hotel. Teamless Labs before dinner. Ticket is for :00 and recommend 2 hours. Stay in Rabbongi for Dinner at Sushi Saito (booking required). https://www.tableall.com/restaurant/49 and drinks in rabbongi.
• June 10: Head to Asakusa to see Senso-ji Temple and explore the Nakamise shopping street. (40 minutes from hotel) (Visit Ueno Park and the nearby Ameyoko Market for snacks and shopping. NOT SURE ABOUT THESE) Evening in Shibuya, Dinner and cocktails at night at Ce La Vi. Bars all over Shibuya
  
• June 11: FREE DAY - Day trip to Mt. Fuji. Or explore Shibuya and Shinjuku Return by evening and relax in Shinjuku.
  
• June 12: Check out by 11 AM. Travel to Kyoto in the afternoon. FIGURE OUT TRAIN.
  

Kyoto (June 12-15)

• June 12: Check into ---. When time allows head to Kinkaku-ji (Golden Pavilion). Only requires an hour of time. Evening walk through the Pontocho Alley for dining and maybe a glimpse of a Geisha.
• June 13: Early morning at Fushimi Inari Shrine for about 2-3 hours, then visit Kiyomizu-dera (will need to take another taxi). Lunch at Kikunoi, a famous kaiseki restaurant. Walk to and explore Maruyama Park and the nearby areas. Walk to Gion corner. A lot of beautiful stuff to see around our hotel and Gion Corner. https://www.klook.com/en-US/activity/94876-gion-corner-traditional-arts-performance/?source_channel=googlettd&_source_module=cu&utm_content=cu&utm_content=campaignid_21054075549_adgroupid_159487682156&_language=en&_currency=USD&_activity_id=94876&package_id=318982&aid=26991&campaignid=21054075549&adgroupid=159487682156&targetid=kwd-2279069280371&matchtype=&device=c&creative=692237415720&extensionid=&keyword=&loc_interest_ms=&loc_physical_ms=9003689&network=g&gad_source=1&gclid=CjwKCAjw0YGyBhByEiwAQmBEWigeqmBOqN2xRrKW5xhh7jIEGfIWkcDhcFt98XGcK-AazOUOQEcWzBoCfNIQAvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds&utm_medium=affiliate-alwayson&utm_source=non-network&utm_campaign=26991&utm_term= Book 6pm or 7pm show at Gion Corner
• June 14: Start at Arashiyama to visit the Bamboo Grove and Tenryu-ji Temple. Lunch in Arashiyama at Arashiyama Yoshimura for noodles with views. Go to hotel for afternoon spa treatments (massages). Dinner at Ganko Sushi for a more relaxed sushi experience.
• June 15: Check out and depart for Osaka.

Osaka (June 15-17)

• June 15: Check into --- Explore Dotonbori at night; try Dotonbori Imai for an authentic Osaka-style okonomiyaki.
• June 16: Morning visit to Universal Studios Japan, focusing on key attractions. After a few hours, head back to the city. Explore Umeda Sky Building in the evening for great views and dinner nearby at Kiji Umeda for Osaka-style okonomiyaki.
• June 17: Check out at 11 AM, maybe a quick visit to Kuromon Market for street food before departing for Okinawa.

Okinawa (June 17-21)

• June 17: Arrive and check into ---. Relax at the beach or hotel facilities.
• June 18-20: Enjoy beach activities. Visit Okinawa Churaumi Aquarium, one of the largest aquariums in the world. Dine at Onna Village Food Market for local foods. Explore Shurijo Castle for a cultural touch. Try Umibaru Okinawa for dinner one night to taste local seafood.
• June 21: Check out at 11 AM. Relax at the beach if time allows before heading to the airport.

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