Migration is a comedic animated film about a family of ducks. The dad, Mack Mallard, is super cautious and wants his family to stay safe in their cozy New England pond. Mom Pam, however, dreams of adventure and longs to show their kids Dax and Gwen the world.
Click here to watch migration movie for free!
Things get interesting when migrating ducks arrive, sharing stories of faraway lands. Inspired, Pam convinces Mack to embark on a family vacation to sunny Jamaica. Their grand plan goes off the rails when they end up lost in the bustling concrete jungle of New York City.
Lost and needing help, the Mallards encounter a variety of characters, including a gruff pigeon and a caged parrot. Through hilarious mishaps and teamwork, they overcome challenges, learn about the world, and discover the importance of family and friendship.
Click here to watch migration movie for free!

Naturally, I came to know Orwell with 1984, which I read roughly three years ago in a Russian translation. I was at my humble beggining in discovering literature, and the book impressed my chiefly trough its deep theoretical base, the atmosphere of utter lack of hope and ingenious terms such as 'doublethink' - anyway, you probably know what I am talking about
Yet it was only much later that I read his other literary works - namely, those indicated in the title. There, I discovered Orwell as a great analytic of human psychology, an inventive storyteller. Both novels have a bleak atmosphere with a bit of dark humor and somewhat foreshadow themes that would appear in 1984.
In Keep the Aspidistra Flying, Orwell depicts a peculiar intellectual named Gordon Constock, almost thirty and "already moth-eaten." The gist is that he refused his status and prospects of a "good job" in order to avoid being subservient to "the Money God" - that is, he lowers himself on the social scale, living in self-imposed penury, working in a bookshop. Generally, this Gordon would seem like an off-putting person, constantly frustrated, whining and complaining, raving about the 'end of civilization', a little bit sexist, and a great deal pessimist. The reader is plunged into his interior monologue and obsessive thoughts, which are captivating to follow. The plot revolves around his fight with the Consumerist system - however, as you might have guessed, he is not a valliant knight in shining armor, but rather a vain nihilist with questionable worldview. This affects the relationship with other characters - his friend Ravelstorm (a self-proclaimed Marxist, who is distracted from thougths about the rough conditiond of the Proletariat by the soft appearance of his mistress), his self-abnegating sister Julia, etc. Also, Gordon tries to write poetry - and one of the poems is gradually 'conceived' throughout the novel, containing his impressions and emotions in a self-piteous, frustrated style - with quite a decent result I'd say. Besides, Orwell realistically describes some unpleasant aspects of London's life through the protagonist's actions: slums, squalor, drunkenness, and prostitution. Per general, a great read!
On the other hand, 'Coming up for air' describes a character who is an organic part of the system - a middle-aged clerk from a London's suburb, on the surface - a typical lower-middle-class and a family man, called George Bowling. The novel is written entirely through his perspective and keeps a rather melancholic tone. The narrator, with a rueful humor, talks a bit about himself, expressing a dissatisfaction with his menial life, yet remaining fatalistic about it. Then he starts an 80-or-so pages description of his pre-WW1 life and memories from a small town - and, frankly, it stirred my interest, being related in a vivid language. His rustic life is placed in contrast with the modern, after-war existence. This leads to nostalgia, and basically, the plot of the novel consists of an attempt to chase this feeling, to make it come true, to revive what has been long forgotten. The novel (published some months before the WW2) contains a distinct feeling of uncertainty, fear, and anguish about the future, expressed in various instances. The narrator asks himself what would become if the war starts - if the bombers arrive - which, as he thinks, will happen in 1941. But he fears not the destruction itself, but what would come after the pains of war - a new world of "rubber truncheons", slogans, suppression, hate. Something that Orwell will describe 11 years later in '1984'.
Overall, I think both books are worth reading. However, you have to expect that the protagonists - Gordon Comstock and George Bowling - might not be quite prepossesing.

A/N: This incorporates a new build, with additional drawbacks and perks. I added a few gamer functions, as well as Lightning Quick, Brute Strength, DPS, and Rogue. More details are available over on Spacebattles (I also edited the original chapters there to reflect the changes).
Within minutes of entering the building and clocking in, I'm speedily typing away at my computer. There are stacks of papers on my desk that I am dedicatedly transcribing and digitizing.
This is my job, at least on most days. I have to take sheets of paper, invariably assorted forms related to insurance, and digitize them. In minutes I have already done this to a few different types of forms, from applications to the paperwork regarding claims and investigations into claims. "Speed Typist" mixed with "Lightning Quick" allows me to easily breeze through even dense forms and shift between the programs I need to use for each type of form. My job is hilariously, almost offensively, easy and I have already heard that we have a backlog so I have plenty of stuff to go through.
As I type I begin to think about each of my gamer perks as well as my system. Every few minutes I'll "mistype" thanks to "Buggy" and I'll spend a split second going back and fixing my mistake but between "The Devil's Own Luck" and "Lightning Quick" I'm able to fix my mistakes in a span of milliseconds. While I type I use "Observe" every instance I can, throwing in a tiny burst to the overall amount of experience I gain.
I use my enhanced mind's passive ability to follow two trains of thought while I work. As far as anyone can tell I'm diligently doing my job, but in actuality I'm exploring my system. Through passive, almost imperceptible gestures, mostly due to how fast they are, I am messing around with my rather system.
I whittle away the hours I need to spend at my job doing this. During this time I get a few of my skills to level up a few times, thanks to my decision to faithfully and diligently hone some of my other abilities like "Observe". Eventually lunch rolls around and Amy sneaks up behind me so she can surprise me and draw me away from my work. I feign surprise when she reaches me up and taps on my shoulder, and this is a perfect chance for me to try something out.
I make small talk and I silently activate my ability to pause reality while I'm in the middle of a sentence. The world freezes around me and I get to see Amy freeze as she reacts to what I'm saying. I have a reason for doing this, it's all for the sake of experimenting with some of my more intriguing abilities.
I focus on Amy even as I interact with my system's UI and I activate my "Gacha" mechanic. In my mind's eye I can see a logo representing a capsule machine beginning to stir to life and spin some of the capsules containing various awards, and I think about two enormously powerful perks: "The Face" and "Silver Tongue".
These two charisma enhancing perks are incredibly valuable tools in my repertoire and I have yet to meaningfully use them. One of them, "Silver Tongue" is not as directly powerful as "The Face" but it offers me broad knowledge of psychology, enhances my charismatic intuition, and makes me incredibly attractive. The real powerhouse of a perk is "The Face". By focusing on people and thinking of something I want them to believe or persuade them to do I have a supernatural intuitive sense that allows me to know the best sort of argument I could make to achieve that goal. To test this I study Amy while wondering if there's any way for me to convince her to go on a date with me, and after a split second of thinking I begin to feel vague intuitive senses of what I could say and do that would make her see me as a potential romantic interest, and I know that doing that before I ask her out would guarantee success if I wanted her to go on a date with me.
I immediately shift tactics and try to see if I could persuade her to give me 100,000 dollars, and I am unsurprised when I do not gain any vague sensations about how to make that happen one way or another. "Worth a shot..." I tell myself, and if I could smile more I would. Both of these perks are strong, but I'm clever enough to recognize that they become even stronger when I add "Beautiful Mind" and "Well of Wisdom" to the mix. WoW is especially handy in a combination like this, since it allows me to pick and choose the most efficient route to my desired outcome. This is especially true if I mix it with my ability to pause time, since I can give myself breathing room and contemplate how to most skillfully word my arguments and present my positions.
The gacha machine, or some abstraction of one, in my head slows to a stop. When it does a symbol of a capsule pops out and I am delighted to see that I've won a mundane iPad like device, a handy thing I can use as a computer for the time being! This is quite handy, and I can see this particular mechanic becoming something life-saving in a moment of desperation with the right amount of luck. The decide immediately fills a slot in my inventory, and I make a mental note to pull it out and use it later.
I unpause time and over the course of the next few minutes I use my skills, mixing all of the aforementioned perks and functions of my gamer skills as Amy and I walk over to the cafeteria. It is only when we're sitting through the door into the cafeteria that I sense an opportunity to ask my friend something.
"Hey, do you want to try a soup I made? I like it but having a second opinion is always good." I remark, causing her eyes to brightly light up. I grin at her and we walk over to the same table we ate at yesterday. I hand her the small container I'm holding my soup in, and she looks at it. I see her inhale and watch as her eyes light up. We're the first of the people to arrive at our table so no one else sees this. The container I gave her also has some silverware which she uses to go ahead and take a sip of the soup. I am delighted when time freezes and I get a notification alerting me to the acquisition of a new class: that of a chef. I immediately equip it even as I click through the drawback that appears before me. This also confirms that at least in some cases what is needed for me to get a class is for me to do stuff in front of others or at least involve them in some way.
As time resumes I see Amy's face light up.
"This is delicious!" She states with a delighted and sincere grin. I light up as she tells me this and I lightly cheer. This is excellent news, and my acquisition of this class is very fascinating. When it comes to classes I have a unique ability to get them to "Prestige" once they reach a high enough level, and given my current build's focus on support, buffing, and healing, if I can master a class like that of a chef I can do a lot.
"I'm so happy you like it!" I exclaim, sincerely. It really does taste quite good, but my whole body is enhanced and I'm superhumanly sensitive to things like taste so there's no guarantee that what I taste will be what others taste. That said, cooking is an absolutely incredible skill so if I can master it... Well, I'll always be able to prove my worth in almost any situation involving other people. Cooking... is a cracked skill to have in real life.
Our friends join us and as they do Amy turns to them and hands one of the women the container. Mary looks at us quizzically and Amy pantomimes for her friend to try the soup. Mary's look of confusion only becomes more apparent, but she still dutifully does as she's been asked, using her own silverware to do so. Her eyes light up as well and I feel how much experience I have as a cook slowly increase, which brings a smug smile to my face.
"This is delicious! What is this?!" Mary asks, and I grin and point at me. She smiles, impressed, before handing it back to me.
"I made this soup last night. I liked it but I didn't know if I was going crazy or not." I remark, and that gets a laugh out of Amy.
"Well, if working at an office ever gets boring you could make a living as a chef. This is amazing!" She states, and I can hear the honesty in her voice. It's kind of nice how much she likes the stuff, and a part of me wouldn't mind making more food for her if she's gonna be this enthusiastic about what I give her to eat.
It's hard not for me not to beam at my companions in passive delight the whole time we're eating lunch. The lunchroom conversation is kept simple and we simply inform each other about upcoming plans and light gossip, all of which I've heard before thanks to my enhanced, and growing, senses. Super Sensory is a strong enough perk by default but because of my ability to expand every facet of myself, coupled with the universality of "Master of All" I am just passively growing in my ability to hear stuff. Seeing as I am uncapped I could see myself someday hearing every conversation in this building, almost certainly by the end of the year given how all of my growth is linked together and builds on each other.
Lunch comes and goes in a blur and in minutes I'm back in front of the computer. In front of the computer I'm a blur, my fingers strengthened by Lightning Quick and Speed Typist. I whittle away the hours diligently doing my job, distracting myself and minorly doing other things by making use of my dual trains of thought, and even when I overcome instances of "Buggy" every few minutes I still find myself grateful that I took the drawbacks I did. This work would be... less than fun otherwise. By the time my workday comes to an end and I find myself outside of the office I've filled out hundreds of forms and diligently pushed various skills of mine to new levels. Colleagues of mine are walking around me and also leaving the office. I casually pause time. making use of my pause ability again, and I begin to think of what to do and where to go next.
"I suppose now's as good a time as any to go and see about volunteering..." I eventually realize as I think about the various things I can do from here. I momentarily wonder where I should go to try and do that before I remember what I told Amy and the others yesterday about how I volunteered at a clinic. WIth Healer volunteering at a hospital would be good for me, even if I couldn't do as much good as I'd like too since I am not a doctor. I unpause time and smile as I reach into my pocket, use "Inventory" and retrieve my cellphone.
"Where is the nearest hospital?" I ask aloud, into the phone. Some of the people walking past me glance at me curiously and I smile sheepishly as my phone begins to tell me where to go. I begin to walk in the direction the phone indicates, happy to have a chance to begin to do some good.
The walk isn't terribly long. It turns out that the hospital is in a part of downtown that I didn't explore last night, and I reach it less than five minutes after I start walking, just in the opposite direction of where I was going before. The hospital isn't huge, which surprises me since I don't seem to be living in some small town but in a decently sized city. I walk into the main entrance and step into a large lobby where a decent amount of foot traffic seems to happen, judging from the footprints I can faintly see on the floor beneath me. I walk up to a receptionist desk and the man behind it doesn't bother looking up and instead taps the clipboard in front of him. I glance at it and laugh when I see that it's a standard questionnaire for people who are visiting a hospital for normal, health-related reasons. My reaction surprises the man, and to be fair it's definitely odd for someone in a hospital to laugh at the sight of a hospital questionnaire.
I am laughing at the questionnaire because it's amusing to think about the possibility of getting sick, I'm a gamer, and while normally that'd conjure images of nerds and geeks in my case it means that my health is protected. I have two very powerful perks/features that wildly mitigate the dangers of sicknesses: "Tough As Nails" which guarantees that it'd take something supernatural or almost supernatural to stand a chance of even slowing me down, and "Gamer Body". Gamer Body is interesting in this context since it gamifies negative conditions and allows me to, quite literally, sleep them off. Even something like losing a limb can be cured with a night of sleep thanks to my abilities which feels radically overpowered given how little it cost. I have other perks which further lower my odds of being negatively affected by sicknesses, such as "The Devil's Own Luck". I also have my magic, which includes spells that completely heal and purify the body, and would work on me just as readily as they'd work on other people.
"I'm actually here to learn how to volunteer? I'm new in town and I used to volunteer at a clinic in my home town so I wanted to see if I could volunteer here." I explain, which causes the guy to look up at me. When he does his eyes widen, and I smile awkwardly. I consider feigning ignorance, or perhaps innocence, but I know what's going on. He wasn't expecting me to look the way I look.
My new looks are something it is taking me a beat to get used to. I was only okay looking before, but now my looks are hyper idealized, and I am a conceptually handsome version of the very best I could have ever looked, and it is a bit jarring. It's more jarring for me, knowing that before I was an at best average-looking guy before coming to this world and gaining this new form. I allow the man a beat, before I clear my throat and the sound snaps him out of the daze he was in.
"Oh! Sorry, man, I just assumed you were sick. Umm... Yeah, let me give you a packet." The man says, before reaching under the desk in front of him. I smile lightly as he rummages around the interior of the space that separates us.
My powerful senses allow me to easily notice all sorts of stuff occurring around me. I can hear the vital processes in the bodies of the people closest to me, such as heartbeats and the smells of sweat, as well as other bodily fluids. Many of the people in this area of the hospital are sick, and truthfully if I could I'd heal them all.
One of my reasons for coming here today is to give myself a means by which I can help and heal people. This is, mildly, altruistic but more than anything else I want to master the power to heal people before I leave this setting. In the right setting, being a healer is absolutely a pivotal method of interacting with my environment and also getting allies, as well as staying alive.
The man eventually hands me a packet, along with a pen to use to fill out parts of it, and I smile at him as I take it. It is filled with information, including an application to fill out, and I thank him as I walk over to the waiting area and begin to fill it out. The questions are simple and ask for basic information about me. I fill it out, though a part of me is curious how this'll mesh with my drawbacks...
When I finish filling out the form I hand it to the man and he gratefully takes it. He explains that I'll be contacted by someone named "Ms. Jimenez" soon, and that she oversees the volunteer program. I delightedly thank him for that information and begin to head out of the hospital.
In minutes I'm part of the way home. I am a decently fast walker, though that's something I'd like to work on more in the days to come. The sun is quickly descending, and the moon is already visible in the night sky. I'm approaching the row of apartment buildings that include the building I live in. As I draw nearer and nearer to it I spot a lone homeless man sleeping next to one of the apartments. He is clearly asleep and my observation ability only confirms this. It also reveals that the man is sick, and when I glance at his hit points I see further confirmation of that, as he's down a few of them. I am walking towards him, and as I move I see a nice opportunity for me to try something.
I silently activate "Rogue", one of my more odd perks, and I feel my presence become much more subdued and difficult to notice. I approach the man, and I shut my eyes. As I walk towards him I allow myself to be guided by Super Sensory and only stop when I'm right in front of the man. I kneel and I focus on my spellbook icon, allowing me to see my list of spells. My senses allow me to be confident that the figure is still asleep when I gently move my hands so that they are in front of him. Time freezes as I gain a "Stealth" skill, and while time is frozen I swap my class and become a mage so I can gain valuable experience before I deactivate "Tutorial Sprite". I allow time to resume and smile as I trigger a spell for the first time, one of healing.
For me to activate the spell requires nothing more than for me to have enough magic points and an applicable target. This particular spell is my more advanced spell and it can work on all sorts of living targets. It is named "Intermediate heal" and the fact that I have it is a sign of one of my purchases; Healer. I feel my points of arcane energy be converted into sacred, restorative energy and I open my eyes in time to watch my hands begin to glow as energy leaves me and enters him. I look at his hit points and watch them begin to slowly increase even as I hit him with another instance of "Observe". I do so just in time to feel time freeze as new notifications appear in my mind's eye. One of the first notifications is that I have just earned experience for the "Mage" class, which becomes experience for everything thanks to Master of All, while another indicates that I've just unlocked a quest to become a healer! I study these notifications with a proud grin as this marks an important milestone in my journey. The fact that the class I want is locked behind a quest is interesting and I make a mental note to study the quest as I head home.
I unfreeze time, notice that the man is already visibly healthier, and turn to make my way back to my new home. It takes only about six minutes before I find myself stepping into my apartment. Now I can play with my new toy from earlier!

So apparently the incompetent Amazon showrunners think that Sauron’s grand deception as Annatar was just wearing a long haired wig.
Guess Amazon read a parody poem and thought that was the real one:
3 Wigs for the Elven-kings under the sky, Seven for the Dwarf-lords in their halls of stone, Nine for Mortal Men, doomed to die, One for the Dark Lord on his dark throne In the Land of Mordor where the Barbershops lie. One Wig to rule them all, One Wig to find them, One Wig to bring them all and in the darkness bind them. In the Land of Mordor where the Barbershops lie.

Postgame Thread 5/15/2024

Final Score: Dodgers 10, Giants 2
Purpose of this thread

• Discuss developing baseball action LIVE
  
• Discuss the Giants game
  
• Post hilarious memes / images / gifs / information that may not deserve a front-page post of its own. If it's big news, feel free to do both! This, and the gameday thread, are good places to post your Dodger jokes and memes.
  
• Discuss ANYTHING as long as it follows the rules of conduct.
  

Highlights

Description	Length
Keaton Winn against the Dodgers	0:07
Gavin Stone against the Giants	0:07
Bullpen availability for San Francisco, May 14 vs Dodgers	0:07
Bullpen availability for Los Angeles, May 14 vs Giants	0:07
Bench availability for Los Angeles, May 14 vs Giants	0:07
Bench availability for San Francisco, May 14 vs Dodgers	0:07
Fielding alignment for Los Angeles, May 14 vs Giants	0:11
Fielding alignment for San Francisco, May 14 vs Dodgers	0:11
Starting lineups for Dodgers at Giants - May 14, 2024	0:09
Shohei Ohtani: Home Run Statcast Analysis	0:13
Analyzing Shohei Ohtani's home run through bat tracking	0:11
Breaking down Keaton Winn's pitches	0:04
Breaking down Gavin Stone's pitches	0:04
Gavin Stone's outing against the Giants	0:23
Brock Purdy throws out ceremonial first pitch	0:20
Giants turn two	0:19
Gavin Stone keeps game scoreless in 3rd	0:16
Shohei Ohtani's solo home run (12)	0:27
Teoscar Hernández's RBI double	0:35
Field View: Brock Purdy's ceremonial first pitch	0:06
Max Muncy's sac fly	0:22
Gavin Lux's RBI triple	0:32
Mookie Betts' single	0:11
Will Smith's RBI single	0:17
Shohei Ohtani's 446-foot home run	0:31
Heliot Ramos' RBI single	0:28
LaMonte Wade Jr. nabs Teoscar Hernández	0:16
Keaton Winn exits with injury	0:28
Shohei Ohtani's RBI double	0:28
Data Viz: Shohei Ohtani's solo home run	0:30
Keaton Winn K's James Outman	0:06
Gavin Stone strikes out two	1:17
Miguel Rojas' RBI double	0:18
Freddie Freeman's run-scoring knock	0:16
Teoscar Hernández's two-run triple	0:30
Luis Matos' RBI single	0:26
Nabil Crismatt seals the win	0:06

Nominate your Player of the Game (POTG). Upvote your choice if it's posted, or add your own!
For more off-topic fun, check out /SFGSocial!

1. Mystery: In a quaint coastal town, a retired detective discovers cryptic messages hinting at a cold case long considered solved.
   
2. Science Fiction: Amidst interstellar war, a spaceship's malfunction forces a diverse group of passengers to confront their prejudices and work together for survival.
   
3. Fantasy: In a world where dreams manifest into reality, a young artist grapples with the responsibility of her imagination and the consequences of unleashing fantastical creatures into existence.
   
4. Romance: On a remote island, two strangers find themselves participating in a matchmaking experiment that challenges their beliefs about love and compatibility.
   
5. Historical Fiction: Against the backdrop of ancient Egypt, a slave and a noblewoman form an unlikely alliance to uncover a conspiracy threatening the kingdom.
   
6. Thriller: A forensic psychologist must unravel the mind of a serial killer who leaves coded clues pointing to a personal connection with each victim.
   
7. Horror: In a haunted mansion with a dark past, a group of strangers gathers for a seance, unwittingly awakening malevolent spirits that feed on their deepest fears.
   
8. Adventure: A treasure map discovered in an old family heirloom sets off a global quest, testing the bonds of friendship and loyalty among a group of unlikely explorers.
   
9. Crime: In a gritty urban landscape, a rookie cop investigates a series of seemingly unrelated crimes, only to uncover a web of corruption that reaches the highest echelons of power.
   
10. Comedy: In a small town with an absurd annual tradition, a group of eccentric characters competes in a hilarious competition that turns the mundane into a sidesplitting spectacle.
    

This is on mobile & this more about one of my sisters. Info I’m the youngest in the family, disabilities & am adopted from a country that’s not well known in the west. Staying vague to avoid too many details.
Backstory: She held these details about me over my head all my life. “I’m not American enough, I’m not Asian enough (my heritage enough), I’m not smart enough”, etc. She traveled to my birth country and would withhold any information on my heritage from me and gaslight me whenever I tried to ask questions when I was young. Like “oh be specific, what do you mean what food they eat? What do you mean what their history is be specific” until I’d get frustrated and have to walk away. So ya she’s awful. Summer (2022) on a family visit, I’m their favorite aunt. Been told by all my siblings kids. It was a week’s stay and I had successfully dodged my sister’s attempts in starting a fight until somehow in a conversation of economics. Don’t ask I don’t know how either I was once again called a retard & her eldest kid used as an example to ridicule me further on how stupid I was & how smart her kid is in front of my silent parents. She then turned to my utter shock to her eldest child & used her younger sibling to ridicule her on how much better she could do in school. In my head I went “AH HELL NO” (that’s where it officially began.) I felt something utterly SNAPPED in me. After that she turned back to me & I was still in too much shock before I could defend my niece (my only real regret to this day) more insults were herald at me. Idk what it was but I started to cry. I’m not a cryer. So much so it throws me off when others cry because I guess I forget that’s a thing, typically I just get mad. Karen my entitled sister was absolutely BEAMING with pride and utter euphoric JOY. Again my parents still silent heads down. Shortly after that we had to leave for the airport. I WAS DONE. Given I’d do & this was my “snapping point” it’s really not too bad in my opinion.
Now onto the PETTY REVENGE.
Christmas 2022, I mailed my gifts to my narcissistic sister & later she called & disowned me. The utter relief that drained from my body was HEAVENLY. I sent her kids “Sorry My Mom’s a Karen” t-shirts I got off Amazon as a petty joke for Christmas, along said actually gifts. I thought it was hilarious and to anyone outside the family I tell this story to agrees it’s funny. Outraged on the phone I did try to explain why I sent the gifts instead of straight up apologizing first because that’s just how my brain functions. It’s not excusing it. It’s just making sense of things. A recap on what happened that lead up as a nice way to have a straightforward what happened from my perspective to give more clarity. I’m called heartless & evil. That was the Holidays and since then my parents have even admitted they know it was messed up & hovered over me declaring me unfeeling. According to my narcissistic sis I’m “an evil bitch”. I finally said okay & apologized to appease my mother. I figured it was a great acting exercise. I admitted that to my mother and she was not amused. She’s the type who just wants everyone to get along. Unsurprisingly my entitle sis said “it wasn’t good enough” & I said “that’s her problem”. I was called immature, stubborn & clearly need intense anger management…over shirts according to my sister. Questioning my sanity really her and my mom. “How could I do such a thing?” I remember thinking “Dude I got disowned over shirts”. Like wow she didn’t just prove my point. I’m setting boundaries, told her and my family regardless what they think I won’t let them make me the bad guy because I’m not. They were pissed. Whilst all this was happening I was planning on going off to uni, so I was gonna be gone anyways. I know my parents just want peace & are good people but are too old & don’t need to be dealing with their two adult children’s problems. I kept telling my mom she’s not responsible for her grown children’s problems. That it’s not her fault & that it’s between me and my sister. Of course my sister isn’t mature and demanded she fix it and make me realize how awful I am blah blah blah.
Ya I could have let it go but disownment is a bit of an overkill but I’m too relieved to care? She’s since then tried to convince our parents to take my education away. They shut that down, thank God. She even tried to convince them to throw me onto the streets. It was like this for roughly four months until I realized I was fighting my own battle this long & enough was enough. I contacted another family member knowing they’d contact my mom asking what’s going on? Embarrassed my mom came storming in asking why was I sharing our family business? I looked at her “why? Why? What’s a middle aged woman doing trying to ruin the life of (insert my age) year old?” Stunned I think that’s when she finally realized it was over and she gave up. After that I was left alone. By March I think Karen realized I’m not budging & she couldn’t take it? So her last tactic (which didn’t work) was saying parents couldn’t see their grandkids unless I apologized. I’ve admitted to my parents the fallowing “Yes, I messed up by sending those petty gifts to unsuspecting kids. That’s fair. However how is sending petty shirts like that be so much worse than the abuse they’ve let me endure from my much older sister? Whatever. At the very least I deserve a tongue lashing. Which I got but not months of continued “you’re heartless” BS. Sorry if this was a long read but that’s been my story so far. I’m living my life, keeping a healthy distance because I love my family but I’m also not a pushover. I’ve been blocked by Karen naturally. My Parents spent years beaten down by her despite the good life and support she’s been given by our parents. They’re just as much as victims as I am. My petty revenge continues as I live my life. I even met people at my university from my country and finally got answers not even the internet was helpful on. I was finally able to reclaimed my own heritage. Around Christmas time 2023 I had an unplanned & surprising conversation on FaceTime with my nieces! As expected they don’t care about what happened & they still love me. My BIL is chill & probably wisely is staying out of it. I’m not gonna lie I was kinda hoping my sister would send me a Karen shirt back because my petty ass would have loved it & been so proud. I honestly was planning on pinning it to my wall if they did, like a petty trophy but I guess I’m the only one who sees the humor in all this & can laugh about it, even at myself. Also my parents have been getting therapy and doing better. They’re victims & adults. So what they do is their choice. Thankfully I have seen improvements. They’re good people.
The CHERRY ONTOP :
I realized somewhere in August 2023 that I was the first person in Karen’s life that told her no, showed she had no control. What’s worse (for her) of all people, it was in her eyes the inferior little Asian, retard, who walked away head held high & couldn’t give a damn about her. And. She. Can’t. Do. Anything. About. It. That’s Power. Now she lives her life as if nothing happened staying silent but keeps the “disownment up” and honestly good for her. I am happy healthy & thriving. I WON.

I’m male, 19 years old, and have only ever been in one relationship. This was almost two years ago. She’s a good friend of mine now, but more on that later. She never wanted to kiss, physical affection revolted her, so we never kissed once. We hardly ever held hands and when it came to the subject of sex, she claimed she would never be interested in it, not now, not never. So she broke up with me, because she knew that I believed sex was an important part of a relationship, and she couldn’t give that to me.
She’s dating my best friend now, they’ve been together a year and a half, and for a great deal of time, it broke me. I was inconsolable for the better part of a year. And they have sex. Frequent and loving sex. And for a long time I wondered why, why would she do it with him and not me. So in an ironic set of circumstances, I’m a virgin, and she’s not. But I’m not so upset by this anymore, they’re my two best friends and I’ve moved on.
But the loneliness and pining is what’s getting to me. At my age I can’t believe I haven’t experienced what I desire most. It’s killing me, genuinely eating me up from the inside, this longing is almost unbearable. I want to feel a human being holding me close, I want to love and to feel loved. I want intimacy, and for someone to see and love me at my most vulnerable, and I don’t think it’s fair that I have to be without it.
I match people on dating apps quite often but the conversation doesn’t lead anywhere, it’s hilarious. It’s almost intentional at this point, even if I get their socials and we talk for a couple days, they suddenly remember “oh I’m not really looking for anything.” Then why are you on the app? Why did you match with me and talk with me? And it’s not something I’m doing because I’m a self aware person and know when I make a blunder. I can’t leave this awkward spot, and I cry almost every night. It really isn’t fair, why do I have to miss out on this? Does it get better? Will I ever find love? It’s a reasonable expectation I think. Companionship shouldn’t be kept from me, it’s all I’ve ever wanted. Please help me, I don’t know how much longer I can live like this.
Tl/dr: The loneliness is killing me. I’m losing hope and steam, and I don’t know if I can keep living like this.

the suicidal
step out
into death
who am i to judge ?
for what eternity holds
no-one knows
the low reading aged
if you write something they can’t understand
then according to them
its your fault
so they reject
this is the path of mediocrity
and cretinism
all religions schism, narratives of homogeneity require force to maintain (which can be extremely brutal historically)
Knock Out Asinine Nits
photos
staring out from a smooth granite block
if not quizzical
then should be
stuck in eternity
like that
somewhere
there must be a couple that mesh
and get along with each other
somewhere
i’m gone
the world rolls on
i disappear
and appear
the pages of a book that flick through
some words rest
and others don’t
skimming stones
eventually
stop
and sink
rhoticity explained to me, i now understand it, but otherwise i wouldn’t have had a clue except for the joking use of irish, scottish, canadian or usa accents
i think the zen term "seamless monument" is a metaphor for reality, you can’t penetrate it, there’s no artefact of manufacture since it has no seam, it can only be traversed, which btw is the basic philosophical problem of existence, there is no "inner" reality that subsumes "the detail of being"
“ I m currently 16 years old and a "child prodigy". I started university at 14. I have thus far only received one grade which was not an A+. It was an A-. I have memorized 100 digits of pi, the periodic table, and most of the Dungeons & Dragons rulebooks. I am learning Latin, Ancient Greek, Biblical Hebrew, Sahidic Coptic, Spanish, and Italian. I just like old languages. I don’t have to study long — I have a nearly photographic memory. When I do study, I just write things out over and over. I am a very visual thinker, so I remember pictures. Ask me anything ! ”
ed. she also has ehlers-danlos syndrome and is ADHD
in my view, the languages are a big mistake, they interfere with each other
“ Why do you think that ? ”
the languages you list are particularly disjunctive its a heavy learning burden with heaps of "opportunity costs" and the skill is becoming increasingly redundant with AI translators
also my experience of polyglots is they get damaged in some way
the brain is not infinitely capable, beware of burning it in waste of time activities, which to be honest a lot of so called education is
dr. alan cole argues that zen masters are in fact "made-over" daoist sages
i would go further and say that the koan system involves the same sort of "puzzling process" as the tao te ching
when you hear this sort of crap from the policy making elites, no wonder china is a problem !
the real impact of the one child policy may be the scarcity of anyone at the higher levels of government or policy being able to think straight
of course, this is to the advantage of the west and is the same problem japan had in WW2, idiots determining their strategic direction
boundaries crossing
abatement of being
from this perspective
everything looks crazy
really ?
do you ever listen to anything outside your own echo chamber ?
sad souls
in the twilight of their lives
mumbling gibberish
the words of others
are not your own
if you actually understood
why wouldn’t you use your own words ?
time separates
that childhood intensity
fades
as the branches grow apart
what was not seen at the time
is now seen
you are not well read and have an "anti-creative" mindset !
i’m getting on in years and just can’t be bothered to deal with your hubris
good-bye
ed. the net is full of these entitled gen Z’ers with a deeply entrenched intellectual inertia created by a malfunctioning education system
valves, muscle, connective tissue, timing
easy to see how it can go wrong as we get older
this dynamic core of existence in the center of our chests where every beat needs to be followed by another
i think religion can be regarded as a hallucination, the hallucination being that a literary work is real, perhaps most easily seen in the beliefs of ancient egypt, what are the pyramids and all those smaller tombs about ?
the reification of stories
these people
who
rather than bringing something to the table
only
take
and
are
impertinent
with
it
the puzzle of the poetry of others
seems to need the conversion
into something
i understand
"the girl on a bulldozer" (2022), a good tightly written kdrama
caodong poetry 23; verses on master fushan’s sixteen themes #4; touzi; translated by suru

1. not falling into life or death

on the day when the golden rooster heralds the coming spring
the jade hare conceives, entering the purple palace
reeds bloom on both shores, shadowing egrets
an old fisherman lifts his oar, dispersing mist, returning home
.
不落死活。 金雞日裏報春時。 玉兔懷胎入紫微。 兩岸蘆華映白鷺。 漁翁舉棹撥煙歸。
.
my reply
one day
the distance travelled
catches up with you
and you have arrived
.
one day
the distance travelled
catches up with you
you
have
arrived
ed. the terms in suru’s translation are very chinese and have a historical perspective, so i have "reworked" it into something modern that people will understand
“ ChatGPT-4 scored higher than 100% of psychologists on a test of social intelligence ”
hilarious
a tui calls
stunning the silence
my day is filled
with melody
ed. the tui is a new zealand native songbird
if you have ever attempted to count the number words in a book or whatever, which i have, count the number in a couple of paragraphs, then multiply by the inverse of whatever proportion of a page it is then multiply by the number of pages and i figure you get within 10% which is close enough
i’ve written millions of words, its like an exclusive club and its interesting to know who else is in it
giacomo casanova’s autobiography
the book comprises 12 volumes and approximately 3,500 pages (1.2 million words) covering casanova’s life from his birth to 1774
i have read most of it, people misunderstand him as a legendary lothario, but he is much more interesting than that

My son 13m father was absent for 4 years. He texted here and there and would occasionally pick him up for a few hours and drop him off. I never withheld. We have not had any direct contact since 2016 aside from when he wants his tax return. He only texts my son. Visits were once every 3-4 months. CO from 2011 says he has EOW. Long story short, he has a new gf and renewed sense of fatherhood I guess, and wants to start exercising his visitation exactly as it’s written.
He dropped this news on me when I was in the hospital giving birth to my child in November. Demanding I (and only I) immediately begin driving my son to him EOW. Obviously I couldn’t do it right then. Nor was I going to after so many years. He immediately filed contempt.
In the probate hall on hearing day, I saw he had just had a hearing with his other BM. Hilarious. So, the judge already knew he was absent from his other child a ince their case was right before ours. However, he was apparently only absent from them for 1-2 years. When we were called up, the judge stated that since it’s been so long since the CO was written, she wasn’t going to force anything, but that I was still technically in contempt. I found that a tad confusing. She said to my ex “clearly it’s been a tough year for you, you’re welcome to file a modification, as this CO doesn’t reflect the current situation.” That was that. Sent us home.
I know he is going to say in his complaint for modification that he was never absent. He’s been writing things to me in emails like “I’ve been there all 13 years”, as if he’s planning on just printing it out and bringing it in with him to our modification hearing.
What are ways that I can prove his absence if need be? Luckily we lived in an apartment building for 3.5 of those years, so he had to text my son “I’m here” when he picked him up. I also have all the texts where they’ve made plans, but he could always lie and say that was on top of his visitation I guess? I want to be as prepared as possible. I made a spreadsheet of every visit since 2020.
My goal: I really want to step up plan in place, as my son currently does not want to go with him.

As a Montréal fan, my heart obviously broke but the emotions didn't last too long, it's all part of such tournaments. MTL's players gave us everything they had, so did Boston's and what a show it was. I will never forget game #2 (and it was a privilege to attend).
All teams in this league are loaded with talent, in fact, I have favourites in every team. But there are only two spots in a final, and only one for a champion.
I thank MTL's players with all my heart for the season and the playoffs, it was a blast even though the result is obviously not what I wished for.
I thank and congratulate Boston's players for the same reasons (just without the extra little love I have for MTL because I'm a bit of a homer haha). Best of luck to Aerin Frankel, Hilary Knight, Susanna Tapani, Alina Müller, Meghan Keller, Jamie Lee Rattray and their teammates.
Can't wait to watch the rest of the Toronto-Minnesota series, and the finals. The league, season and playoffs really re-ignited my love of hockey. Witnessing this new era of women's hockey is a blessing.
Ok enough with the rambling, let's discuss: do you think Minnesota will pull off a reverse sweep? Do you think Toronto would have more chances to beat Boston in the finals than Minnesota? Who is THE player in each of these 3 teams you'd like to see hoist the cup? What is your favourite breakfast meal?

Okay, so indepdent ukraine managed to bulid their army, HF rules russia, absorb kazakstan, and lost an army to ukraine. They occupy eastern ukraine, with one army staying there and the other in belarus badly beaten up, if this was the servants I aboustely would take ukraine just to screw the AI up from taking kyiy (i would find it guneinely fucking hilarious, however as the intiative I kinda need HF to do okay and not piss them off as the servants have india.) why is the AI so terribke? In the last game project exodus was in russia and took a bloody long time, and then spent a long time trying to take georgia. Also any funny stories like this I would like to hear below.

I guess this could also be delayed grief. I have no idea what I’m even trying to say in this, I just can’t imagine speaking these thoughts to anyone in my life right now because I just can’t stand the way people look at me or speak to me or go quiet when I talk about him. Today just sucks.
I thought it would be last year that would suck, being ten years without him. And it did, but it sucks as much as it always does. Right now feels particularly hard.
I’m just thinking about how unfair it all is. I was 10 when I lost him, and I’m just thinking about how much I’ve missed out on with him. How much he has missed out on in his kids lives. Which doesn’t feel fair, because he had some shitty fucking things go on for him throughout his life and I think he at least deserved to watch his kids grow up. And it’s not fucking fair for me either. I looked up his obituary impulsively at work, and someone had left a story there about him that I’d never seen or heard. And I can’t imagine how many stories I’m missing out on, or how many things he could’ve guided me through. And I just feel so angry and tired about it all.
I just got my first apartment last year, and my moms boyfriend helped me build the bed and get it up all the stairs. He’s a sweet guy, we aren’t close, and it’s not his fault, but that should’ve been my dad. I don’t want men to do anything for me because it just fucking sucks because that should be my dad helping me, it shouldn’t be some fucking guy it should be him. I should be able to introduce him to all my partners, I want him to walk me down the aisle, I want to hear all his crazy stories, I want to show him stupid Tik toks and let him meet my cat. I wish that he had been there when I dropped out of school, when I went to detox, when I was couch surfing and trying to stay sober. I wish I could’ve gone to him. I wish he could’ve been there when I finally graduated, and when I got my dream job.
I want him to embarrass me in front of my friends, I want to make fun of him for being old, I want to listen to his ridiculously mish mash mixtape that was way too long, I want to show him what music I like. I want to show him all my tattoos, I want him to be disappointed in my new stupid tattoo ideas. I wanted him to be there when I was being a stupid teenager and tell me to stop being an idiot.
I want to scream at every man who tried to father me for daring to try and take his spot when that was his job and that was for him nobody else deserves to take that role from him just because he isn’t here.
I want to go back to when I was little, and we were sitting in his car just us and playing around with the new speech to text and he was reciting the jabberwocky poem, and we couldn’t stop laughing at the nonsense it typed out, and I want to stay in that car forever.
Today sucks. And FUCK cancer.

Had this idea in my head for a while now and I find it funny.
Modern fanfic writer gets isekai'd into the world of Naruto and while they have chakra now, are in no way as strong as ninja and know they don't have it in them to kill someone. SO, instead, they start writting books as a way to earn money as it is something they are good at and end up in a semi smut battle with Jiraiya. only her's are yaoi and made for women.
Eventually, she ends up meeting Tsunade by chance when she visits the small town she is living in, and after a drunken night and a bet, writes a book using Jiraiya and Orochimaru as the basis (though changes the names), creates a yaoi book that soon becomes very popular.
MC becomes life long friends with Tsunade who finds it hilarious, and anyone who reads the book who know Jiraiya and Orochimaru personally, know the characters are based off of them. This includes the two themselves who are mortified and out for revenge.

So, I've kind of posted about this in other threads, specifically on askreddit, but by some users request, I will do my best to fully relay this entire tale up to the current point, as well as provide as much context I am able (and will provide missing context if asked in comments).
TL;DR
A friend of mine of 4 years drank himself into liver failure and his wife cheated on him, so I offered him a free room to try and put his life back together, and I was repaid for the thought with a divorce of my own, but honestly, it's probably not that bad.
Part 1: CONTEXT
Me and my wife have been together since early 2014, and married in late 2017. We have been through much together, including two extended deployments, one of which was 10 and a half months long. We have traveled the world together, lived on both coasts of the US, and despite much of our struggles and how things eventually went down, I was always convinced we would work as a team to overcome any issues.
The friend in question was, largely, an online friend. We met playing an MMO during covid and we quickly formed a very tight knit, but small, community that were very close that included me, my wife, my friend, his wife, and 4 other friends. Covid was a wild time and I was surprised how easy it was to form friends in this group and we kept in touch, as a whole, even once quarantine had ended and most of us had moved on from that particular game. This was a group that, while it started online, we have met most of these people several times IRL and had vacations to spend time together and just hang out.
Part 2: His Problems
Fast forward to about January of 2024. My buddy, from here on out I will refer to as Z (and for a quick add, I will refer to my wife as D), contacts us to tell us his condition is dire and he has been diagnosed with stage 4 cirrhosis of the liver as a consequence of his extensive drinking. Shaken, we quickly charter a flight out to visit. Within a week, we're staying with him and his wife and his roommate and a couple members of his family who are taking care of him. This man is bloated, yellow, and probably about 350lbs now. We are worried, but stay supportive and positive that help can be found, especially since he seems keen on changing his lifestyle for the better. Some of his family start a gofundme that we donate to, and many of the people in our gaming circle who have grown close also donate several thousand dollars (One member of our raid team donated 10k. You never know who is stealth rich on the internet I guess). Me and several other friends discuss the possibilities of helping him get on disability and even getting ourselves tested as compatible living donors. Sad, but hopeful, we depart about a week later, and stay in constant touch.
About a month later, I'm getting a call from one of our mutuals letting me know that "Hey, so I may have goofed up." and tells me how Z's wife had visited him and had a 3 way with him and his wife. I am obviously irate at this and turn to back Z up with comments like "So much for in sickness and in health, huh?" I do what I can to stay supportive, and my wife, D, also makes it a point to stay in touch with him as he has found himself banished to the couch of his apartment. Not even allowed to sleep in his own bed and frequently uncomfortable even being in his bedroom to use the PC.
I'm not particularly rich, but I am not poor either. I served in the military and have a high VA rating which means a constant income and have a steady job and a couple side gigs that pay well enough. My love language, in many ways, is gift giving. I pride myself on being able to pick a good gift, even if it's a little early for an occasion such as a bday or christmas, and will often pull the trigger on something if it means a lot or I think it will help. In this case, my brother was selling an old steam deck because he wanted a new OLED model, so I figured "two birds, one stone", and buy the steam deck off him and send it to Z so we can still game together.
In the intervening months, Z and D start playing games that I have no interest in (Disney Dreamlight Valley), but I am happy to play other games and hang out and chat. Really, nothing seems amiss, but since his banishment, me and my wife are both pushing for him to come and take up the spare bedroom we have in our home. Soon enough, I buy him a plane ticket and he arrives with little more than the clothes on his back and we take him in, no cost other than the expectation that he might help around the house a bit (he was a chef, so having a cook and someone to help clean was ideal for me who often did not have the time or energy to handle these tasks as thoroughly as I would like).
Part 3: The Incident
Now, I am skipping ahead a little bit here, but there's not much to be said about the time between. My wife worked part time hours, and when she did go to work, she'd have him tag along just so he wouldn't "Sit and stew with bad thoughts" at the house alone. I will admit that throughout this entire ordeal, I have had several, several times where my brain tried to warn me, but I ignored ALL of those signs because I trusted him, but more importantly, I trusted her with my life.
One new, frequent argument I found myself having with her was she would fall asleep on the couch, and when I finally tried to go to bed, I'd do my best to wake her and drag her upstairs. These became extremely frequent occurrences and I expressed to her how frustrated I was that I had to fight with her just to come to bed so we could sleep (mind you, this is not even about sex. Often I'm taking her to bed at like, 1am and I work at 7, so I really just wanted her to be sleeping in the bed). Hell, one time, I started catching the vibes that the longer I sat and waited for her to be ready to go upstairs, she just never would be, because they were waiting for me to leave so they could talk in hushed tones. On THAT particular night, I went upstairs alone with her finally awake, and she did not join me for another half hour.
Finally, the day arrives. Its Sunday. We are all downstairs hanging out. One of their newest habits I can't really stand but just dealt with is that she'd sit and crochet while he doomscrolled or strummed on a guitar I bought him and listen to music videos on youtube endlessly. Eventually, I grow weary and give my wife a kiss and tell her I'm gonna go upstairs and play some GW2 for a bit.
About an hour passes, and she enters the game room and tells me "I am uncomfortable. I really need to talk to you. Oh, you're dying!" (As she entered the room, I immediately turn face to talk to her and disregard the game, but she decided that my Charr was more important that what was about to happen, so she of course warns me.) We step into the bedroom and close the door.
"You're going to hate me," she says through tears, "me and Z kissed!" At this point, my brain short circuits and I recall one of my first thoughts being "Oh lord, here we go." and just a general desire to not be a part of this conversation. Shock sets in almost immediately. Still with a healthy dose of denial, I talk to her about what had happened and told her that it needed to end. Even at this point, I did not want to send this man home. Was it shock? Denial? Probably a mixture of the two, or some other additional emotional responses. She gets up after some discussion and goes downstairs, promising to shut him down, but comes back about 15 minutes later sobbing "I couldn't do it! I couldn't end it..." (Side note: In my confused haze of a mind, I feel personally threatened, and after she leaves the bedroom, I lock the door and grab a metal water cub I keep at my side and prepare to actually fight if it comes to it, but once she returns, I back off that idea again.)
Talking with her more, I present her with two options; Couple's therapy, or divorce. BOTH of these options are world ending to her, and she even goes so far as to suggest that just because I said the "D word" that it was what I wanted, which was objectively untrue. We talk back and forth about things I don't quite recall at this point, aside from one point where she comes back and locks herself in the master bath and tells me to call 911, she doesn't care, because she's going to take a bunch of pills, but after a couple of hours, Z shows up to the door and knocks and asks if he can come in. I tell him he may enter, and we talk for a bit. After about 5ish minutes, we decide to go downstairs to the living room and continue the discussion.
Once I sit down on the sofa, I immediately feel like I'm being positioned as the bad guy. I'm in the corner of our sectional, and she's on my left, he's on my right. She tells him "He said it's either a divorce or couple's therapy." "Oh, so he gave you an ultimatum?" I continue to argue that yes, those are the two only options. Z tells me "You're not being fair to her emotions. She is telling you there is another option." I am thoroughly baffled at this statement.
D: I didn't think it was possible and I didn't mean for it to happen, but I have fallen in love with another man. My heart has room for two. I truly have two soulmates. I have never been happier than sleeping on the couch next to my two boys.
Z: There is no reason you guys can't stay married, and we can explore what we've found. I mean, look at how happy she has been since I have been here!
Sick to my stomach, I get up to go vomit in the toilet. Now, I wore a silicone wedding ring, and often find even with a hand wash, a little water tends to get trapped under it. After I finish and wash myself up, I come back and am playing with my ring to dry it. She sees this as a sign that I am uncomfortable again wearing my ring, and takes off her ring as I sit back down and hands me her wedding ring.
Me: Uh, excuse me?
D: This is what you want, I can tell.
Me: No? I was washing my hands and water gets stuck under my ring...
D: Oh... I thought... okay. (And she takes back her ring from me)
I tell her, very clearly, the options are to either end things with him, or end things with me. At this point, I'm still in shock, but sober in mind enough to decide that this is not worth fighting over. I will not argue with my own wife my merits or why she shouldn't just pack up and leave with a jobless, now essentially homeless man, and if she cannot figure that out herself then I will eventually move on.
Crying, sobbing, she sits down in front of him and says, "I'm so sorry, I fought for you. I really did. I told you I'd fight for you and I failed. I loved being your girlfriend, but I need to be a good wife and stay."
Z says "Alright." and starts to go gather his things to leave. As he does, she grabs him and says "No, wait! Please don't go. I don't know what I want."
Z: Ok, well if we're getting all this out in the open, I want to say this. I love this girl. I love her with my whole heart, and without her, life is not worth living. I will not leave this house if you (me) tell me to. Only her. You are taking this very well right now, I can tell you want to hit me (Still in shock, no, I can genuinely say that emotion or thought had not actually registered outside of the event upstairs earlier), but this is my stand.
D: OP, we had a good run. I'm sorry.
And with that, I get up and go to get my sandals and leave the house to get some air. As I try to go, she runs to the door and he follows her. She pushes the door closed and says "No wait, please!"
Me: No, this is the deal. I'm going out to get some fresh air. I am not threatening self harm to "win you back".
D: Will you be back?
Me: I don't know.
Z: Man, I'm telling you, you don't understand, you think I am your enemy, but I am not.
And with that, I leave and shut the door.
In the about, hour, I am gone, I drive around near the house and I call my supervisor who I have a very good relationship with (and I did not want to involve direct friends or family yet because I'm afraid it's too early to start spreading this news). I go over to her house nearby and we chat shortly. After our talk, I have at least something of a clear head and go home, with words for both of them.
As I arrive home, there is no one downstairs. I go upstairs. His door is closed. I knock on the door.
Z: Uh, one second.
I wait for about 5 agonizing seconds, but I refuse to be shut out of rooms in my own home and open the door. He is shirtless, and she is hiding in the corner just out of sight of me. I look him in the eye.
Me: Really?
Z: Yep.
Me: Get out of my house.
And with that, they both silently pack their things and leave.
The second I hear the front door close, I start calling people. I am not above pettiness, and the first person I call is her mom, whom I have a good relationship with. She is SHAKEN and immediately calls her. (I find out later that it was a particularly harsh verbal beating by her, but it really doesn't change anything.)
When I come downstairs to check the state of the house, I see her wedding ring on the counter. I call out of work the next day and lay down and hope I die.
Part 4: Her Problems
So, there is some additional context that I did not add in part 1 because a lot of it is red flags I ignored over the course of our relationship that, in the days following, started to become more and more obvious. There are many that I spent much effort playing off or covering her for, but I will try to briefly list much of what I see as glaring issues in the relationship that were never remedied.
This woman is 30 years old and cannot drive. She can drive and HAS driven my vehicle at the start of the relationship (albeit illegally), but after one tiny little accident where she hit a pole and knocked my side mirror off (which she paid for and fixed before telling me, it really wasn't a big deal. I was on deployment), she never drove again. Attempts to get her behind the wheel would end very quickly after they started, and the conditions to get her in the seat were often extremely time limited, scheduled, or something would come up, and every time I told her "okay, this month we're getting your license for sure" it just wouldn't happen and I'd end up feeling like the one who was at fault.
She does not have her Bachelor's degree because she did not turn in her final project for one single class. Not only that, but she has never truly pursued a career with the things she learned from the coursework, or even used her AA.
For half of the relationship, she did not work at all. When she did, it was often part time work, and if she was saddled with full time hours or, god forbid, overtime, it was a world-ending affair. She would come home and constantly be tired from her few hours at work and would do little more than sit around and crochet.
Our agreement when we bought our house was that she was going to work full time and we were going to split household duties, but I would definitely scoop the cat box because she was allergic (but she wanted cats) and wash dishes (because she hated them), and she would do laundry (because I hated it). In practice, all her version of laundry turned out to be was to throw loads in when one of us was out of clothes and just hit wash and then rotate, and then leave all the clothes in a pile on the bed. EVERYONE KNOWS folding the laundry is the worst part! Come on! Men's clothes are easy! I don't wear that much! (When we would fold, I often finished in a third of her time and would just hang out and chat until she was done)
Ultimately, this meant that for many years now, she was working barely more than part time if she was working at all, and would sort-of do laundry. Meanwhile, I am scooping litter, folding laundry, doing dishes, doing all related yard work, doing all the household cleaning, handling all the finances, I did MOST of the cooking, and all of the grocery shopping (often going alone), driving her from work if I could (she'd uber it if not) and picking her up and driving her home, as well as just generally being a chauffeur for her for 10 years, while working a full time job and a side gig online. Many nights I'd have to stop what I was doing to pick her up at closing hours, and then would sit in the parking lot for 30 minutes while she did tasks like vacuum her little crystal shop that she definitely could have done before close so I didn't end up waiting so damn long. Then we'd come home hang out and eat while we watched TV, and then if I wanted to try and go upstairs to do another hobby, I'd be silently guilted about it because she wanted to sit on the couch and crochet.
Part 5: My Problems
I am not perfect, and admit I have flaws. One of her favorite things to claim to our friends now is that I was "emotionally neglectful", and if there is truth to it, I think I can pin down the day. Before I started working full time again, I was going to school on the 9/11 GI bill. I was not a good student in my younger years, but in time, I have become rather good at school. My first two semesters back I easily maintained a 4.0 GPA. Over the summer in 2022, I, woefully, decided to take a Calc 2 class online because I could not find one in person and wanted to be ready for Calc 3 in the Fall to fill a prereq for my bachelor's, and I really liked the instructor for that Calc 3 class. This calc 2 class was painful. The instructor had clearly recorded all his lectures during Covid and we were simply given the full course of videos and given work assignments and said "Email me if you have questions." This is not how I learn, but I figured, hey, it's one class. I'm working again, but one class isn't a huge deal. I can knock this out.
I was wrong.
After the second exam, I had a low C in the class and I knew I couldn't keep up. I withdrew from the class feeling no other option. I tend to be pretty good at math, and ultimately my dream was to work with 3d printing on an industrial scale with a Mechanical Engineering degree- and if that failed I had my military history (which is engineering relevant) and a degree to fall back on and work should come easily. After clicking that withdraw button, I saw those dreams vaporize. After that, I threw myself into my government civilian job full time and slowly fell into depression. By the end of our relationship, with the toll of doing 99% of the work around the house and for her and with my dreams dead and buried, at age 33, I would wake up and pray I died. I would never kill myself, but I wanted to just die. I felt backed into a corner. I still did everything I could to support her and hoped that one day, she would pick up some of the load and maybe, just maybe, I could go back, but that day did not come (At least not in the way I expected).
Part 6: The Aftermath
This post is already too long, and if I include every single detail that has come to light since, I might actually hit the post cap, but I will go over at least some of it here.
I have had my friends come out in droves. Both of them have been effectively exiled, at least from what I can see, from every friend circle we have. After a couple of days, they flew back to live with, I guess, his parents in Vegas while they sorted shit out, because after I spoke with Z's previous roommate, he adamantly explained he was tired of all the "fucking drama" that Z had been bringing into the house and was just done with it.
I have spoken with many, many people and gotten even more context and even receipts of some of each of their conversations to our mutual friends, and some of the shit I read is just hilarious. He is "not ashamed of pursuing happiness, he is just sad that people got hurt". She is "coming to terms with emotional neglect and felt trapped, but now, yes now, she is free."
I got my neighbors to watch the cats, and took my dog up to visit my closest friend of 20 years and spent about a week and a half drinking, smoking, and talking about all this while surrounded by some of the most beautiful nature the US has to offer. Truly, without this man, I don't think I'd have gotten this far as quickly as I have. He really has been a lifesaver and I truly, to my dying day, will always appreciate him.
Paperwork has been filed, we wish to remain on good terms, and one day I still do hope I can be a friend to her, but she is woefully immature and incapable of adequately performing in an adult society. I have quit my job and am returning to school with a much lighter budget and will be getting that degree I desperately need.
It's been hard, real hard. I have put every ounce of my being into this relationship, and I truly felt like she was part of me, and nothing like this could ever happen. But it's that trust that allowed this to happen. I do not hate her, I'm just disappointed. I will pick up my pieces and, hopefully, find myself whole again soon.
Part 7: Rambling anecdotes
These are some stories I wanted to include in the previous body of text but didn't feel like it kept the same flow (if there even is any at all, I'm not proofreading this). If I remember any others after I post, Ill just toss them in the comments.
Early after Z came to live with us, my mother came to the house to drop off a package. I am pretty sure I was at work, but when my mother came to the door, both of them answered the door and the way my mom describes it "First of all, do you answer the door at your friends house? Also, the way he hovered over her made me uncomfortable. They were in the doorway and he was right up behind her poking his head out." She said my wife had told her that I was feeling unwell and was upstairs sleeping. I can't even be sure at this point.
Shortly before all the things happened, my parents were going out of town to celebrate their own anniversary, and I had agreed to dog-sit their 5 month old puppy (who, while cute, has WAY too much energy and was EXTREMELY difficult to handle, and I have raised several dogs at this point). We met up and took the dog, and then ALL of us (including Z) went to dinner. At dinner, my mother looked at my wife and asked, directly "And so how long have you been married? 6, almost 7 years? Well at least you missed that 7 year itch, huh" and my wife shortly followed with a comment about how she was not hungry and did not eat dinner that night.
All of this happened WHILE THIS CRAZY PUPPY was running around the house, and part of me thinks he pushed this to happen when it did because he could not stand having to help take care of this dog any longer (2 days).
About a week after all this happened, my wife did not text or call me, or respond to any messages or emails I sent her (I didn't send many, but they exist). Frustrated, I text her and tell her I need to talk to her about logistics moving forward, specifically about her belongings. She told me "I will talk to you when I am ready." We did not talk for another week. Also, she told me to stop talking to her mom. (I have a good relationship with both of my in-laws and while her step-father tried to remain impartial to the best of his abilities, he gave me some of the best advice I could possibly have gotten at that time, mostly about how to move forward and cope, as he has personally dealt with this with smaller relationships 3 separate times in his life which he gave me details on, and we are still on good terms.)
Their favorite TV show to watch together was Outlander, which, if you aren't aware, is basically a story about a woman who time travels and has two men in her life.
One of our biggest constant points of contention was my friendship with an old high school buddy (who I spent much of the time in the aftermath hanging out with while healing). We believe, with good reason, that she hated this man because after I had almost been hospitalized for psych reasons due to stress, he had told me I needed to talk to her about working again and doing more to help around the house. She figured out, obviously, who was telling me to say these things, and sent a very, very angry text to his wife. They all apparently made up, but I know she never let that grudge go.
One of the fairly recent hobbies I got into was D&D. It seemed like a good fit for all of us. She loved fantasy and gaming, I enjoyed 3d printing and story telling. She needed friends, and a party of people hangin out would give her at least a few connections to start. Every night she "participated" in D&D, she mostly sat quiet and did not do anything. Hell, I tried to get her to participate in 2 different games, and after she left the first one, she asked to just sit quietly in the discord call (This first one was online only, second was in person) and listen, which was super awkward. In the in person game, after 3 months of playing, she did not know how to play her character at all, and mostly spent her time at the table crocheting. (My buddy even made a comment about how at one point, he was proud of how good I was getting at DMing and I was giving particularly good exposition, and she interrupted me to hand another player at the table a dice bag she made. I don't remember it, but I absolutely believe this happened.)
The day of "the incident", she had a meltdown about how a friend of hers had ghosted her. I told her it was okay, she was much younger anyway and people grow apart. She's probably going through stuff and we should respect that path she's on. She cried about how she has no friends.
Also the day of "the incident", we were in the shower together and she told me she had met her sister's new BF on facetime. I asked "why did she break up with her old one?" "Well... she cheated on him." "Oh, that's a shame. Cheating is probably the most cowardly act a person can do to another. If you're going to start a new relationship, you need to grow a pair and end it before starting a new one." She clearly took my words to heart.
One of my biggest pet peeves about cleaning the house is our dog sheds, a lot. If I see a hairball roll through the house it immediately drains me a bit. We had a roomba. She would send that thing home when it started and never start it again. It barely ran. She would not vacuum.
One of the most common descriptors of her I've heard used by many people now that they're "allowed to" is "She was there, doing the thing with us, but it was like she wasn't there."
Something she thought that I apparently hadn't figured out by the time we talked after everything happened was that they had been talking since February. I told her I wasn't stupid and had figured it out already that this wasn't out of the blue.
Z's wife is currently pregnant with the baby of the man she cheated on him with. (And he is also married)
Anything else I remember Ill leave for comments, I know there is much, much more.

*Repost with title change due to popular demand.
Spoilers ahead
if you just wanna see the videos and not read the guide just scroll down to the boss you wanna see and click the link
INTRO
you wanna sit back, relax, and let summons do the ass whooping for you? Then this party composition is for you! this build comes online in act 3 and requires learning a few scrolls, but after that, you won't need to use a single potion until the elder brain.
MYRKUL - https://youtu.be/dQoBNGeGxAE
to get to act 3 you gotta beat myrkul, so here is 4 naked tempest clerics making ketheric wonder if he should change gods again. just cast sanctuary, help aylin, then wet and call lightning. feats are alert and tough
ACT 3
alright for the summon build to come online you gotta get to level 12 first, kill and explore for xp
LEVELS
1 wizard, 11 life cleric (any cleric would do) feats alert and tough, stats 12 dex, 14 con, 16 wis, 16 int (you want 16 int so you have four wizard spell slots available)
SCROLLS NEEDED - buy at sorcerer sundries, always available
4x cloud of dagger scrolls, 4x haste scrolls, 4x summon elemental scrolls, 4x summon minor elemental scrolls, learn these scrolls and and prepare them, do long rests to restore stock
KEY CLERIC SPELLS
sanctuary- very important
aid - more hp for summons
planar ally - djinn, the best summon in the game!
insect plague - situational
heroes feast- A MUST for orin and cazador, fear and naseous. give up one djinn
THE COMBO!

1. activate turn based mode
   
2. cast 1 level 5 cloud of daggers near your target, 3 haste to 3 djinns, 4 santuary to party members, START BATTLE!
   
3. thunderwave, thunderwave, thunderwave pushing enemies to cloud of daggers, and thats pretty much it. you can push them out and then in again to trigger cloud of dagger damage multiple times.
   

THE BOSSES
VICONIA - https://youtu.be/w8m-jpc_FpY
big battle field, use insect plague
CAZADOR - https://youtu.be/kn9GjiKzN-g
oh look cazador turned himself into a BALL of mist so your djinns can play with him and pass him around, what a nice vampire, shame if the ball hits something sharp 🗡️🗡️🗡️
RAPHAEL - https://youtu.be/pcTiXNSWkME
unlimited summons thanks to pool, great for destroying pillars, using insect plague on this boss will break his ai, preventing him from doing certain actions like transforming and fireball
TITAN - https://youtu.be/cKx6iPaaDsw
yes, you can push the big boi bot with thunderwave.
GORTASH - https://youtu.be/M_2E6QMtgO4
unique strat! make him have a taste of his own medicine and set your own trap!
ORIN - https://youtu.be/EPMgijR_8UY
unique strat! don't wanna spoil the fun, watch vid instead.
ANSUR - https://youtu.be/jqo7S57WMW8
HILARIOUS! djinn is immune to lightning damage soooo... EZ PZ
ELDER BRAIN (red dragon killed) - https://youtu.be/oOttcbNJa98
i recommend using some potions for this one, its the final fight after all, should still be possible without thanks to divine intervention.
step by step

1. get 1 invisible potion, 1 flying potion, and a bunch of haste potions
2. respec 1 follower before riding boat
3. buy angelic slumber potion from lizard and level up one at a time to restore lizard stock
4. kill the mini absolute army, then use angelic slumber to replenish spell slots and summons
5. use fly and invisible potion to skip the stair fight
6. make djin(deva might be better here cause they have fly) and air myrmidon drink haste potions on their turn by opening group inventory and drinking haste potion, the unit name will show up.
7. kill dragon and everything
8. use the BONKERS skill called DIVINE INTERVENTION and full heal and restore all spell slots when needed.
9. kill elder brain.

gg zero equipment :)
next no gear build is probably gonna be sorcerer, i'll probably make use of tadpoles on this one. should be fun.

I saw this post on AlternateHistory.com forums.

People keep saying just cause Saudi didnt have a mechanized army,the Saudis wouldnt even last a single weeks fighting the Japs! It won`t for the following reasons!
1)Allies would send equipment to the Saudis
2)Saudis will be doing suicide attacks
3)Japanese armies aren`t trained to move and fight in desert war fare!The Germans conquered North Africa because German troops in North Africa were well trained in desert warfare!
Just because the desert is a flat plain doesn`t mean an army could easily march over it and send tanks and other vehicles over it!Besides alot of Jap troops would be suffering from the effects of the Desert!
5)The Saudis will resort to desert warfare.Just because you dont have a mechanized army doesnt mean you can`t fight!Research Lawrence of Arabia and Omar Kutthyb(Lion of the Desert) for proof!
6)The entire Muslim World will help the Saudis Defend Mecca and Medina!Other Muslim areas such as Turkey,Egypt,Palestine,and Iran have a military force that is equiped with artillery,mechanized vehicles,and bombs!The Japanese will face numerous nations with modernized weaponry!
7)The Saudis would fight more fanatical than any Japanese soldier because Saudi Arabia is the holy land of Islam!
8)Because they lack any experience in Middle Eastern warfare and because of their Bushido code,Japanese soldiers will contiinually be slaughtered by the same tactic the Arabs used to defeat the Crusaders:luring the enemy into the desert and letting them die of thirst!
9)If the Japanese conquere part of Saudi Arabia,the Japanese will do horrible things to Saudi civillians,thus enraging the Saudis and making them even more bloodthirsty for Japanese blood and long for the deaths of Japanese soldiers!
10)The Japanese army in Saudi Arabia will eventaully abandon the invasion because of far stretched logistics and because they will continually get slaughtered by both the Arabian desert and Arab soldiers who will use rifles and bombs to attack the Japanese,their armored vehicles such as their tank,and their supply routes!
So why do most people think Saudi Arabia will be conquered by the Japanese easily in WW2?The Japs have no knowledge of desert warfare!They will foolishly contiunally be lured into the desert by Arab raiders,and they will get lost and die of dehydration!Japanese tanks are completely uselees in desert warfare!And even if they manage to land a base,the Japanese Army will still face hell because the entire Muslim world will unite and send tanks,bombs,rifles,and other modernized war equipment to the Saudis along with properly trained Muslim troops!Why do most people say this?

Its rather hilarious but its an interesting scenario whoever wrote the above quoted text. So what would happen realistically if Imperial Japan attempted to do such an operation?

Timestamp
No salt. C&R from new. Gen 3. I put a couple mags through it. Hilariously long slide. Now you can be the biggest on the pistol bay.
$475
cashapp zelle apple pay

Where do we go from here? I've got the job, I've got the money, I've got the house, the wife, the kids, I wake up every morning, drink the coffee, take the shower, grab a bite to eat.
You wake up in a shock at the alarm you set, as if you forget you set it, You get to working, thinking today is different, knowing it's the same old shit, on the same old day. You take your government mandated break expecting to go back to something different but nothings changed, same old shit, same old day.
You clock out, you go home, you take a shower, get something to eat, grab a beer out the fridge, watch something to rot your brain on the TV, hoping for a different day tomorrow.
You wake up, to that alarm, grab a coffee, something to eat, same shit, different day.
Where do we go from here?
Do we make a change? Change your job, change your life? Change the fucking alarm?
Maybe I'll shave today, rather than tomorrow? Approach the day in a different way, change my coffee, have a different breakfast, eggs and coffees getting boring now isn't it? But I know what I like and like what I know.
Sleep on the other side of the bed, make my alarm earlier, go for a run, a jog, maybe this time I'll actually try?
Try being on my own, waking up to myself, making eggs for one, one cup of coffee, making conversations with myself. Coming back to an empty home, no lights, no love, no daddy your home, just me and an empty room.
Only expecting the best but feeling the worst, tonight it's not just one beer out the fridge, it's one, then two, then three, there's a bottle of whiskey in the cupboard calling my name, then comes the missed alarm, the bad day in work, the fulfillment of emptiness I've been searching for but fighting against.
What to do now?

(An animation shows black and white clouds parting)
Charles: (Off-screen) Once upon a time, there was a glowing city protected by golden gates known as Heaven. It was ruled by beings of pure light. Angels that worshipped good and shielded all from evil. Lucy was one of these angels. She was a dreamer with fantastical ideas for all of creation. But she was seen as a troublemaker by the elders of Heaven. For they felt her way of thinking was dangerous to the perder of their world. So she watched as the angels began to expand the universe in their ways. From the dust of Earth, they created Eve (I couldn't think of a female name that looked like Adam) and Lilian. Equals as the first of mankind, but despite this, Eve demanded control and Lilian refused to submit to her will. He fled the garden. Drawn in by his fierce independence, Lucy found him and the two rebellious dreamers fell deeply in love. Together, they wished to share the magic of free will with humanity, offering the fruit of knowledge to Eve's new groom, Adam, who gladly accepted. But this gift came with a curse. For the single act of disobedience, evil finally found its way into Earth. With it, a new realm of darkness and sin. And the order Heaven had worked to maintain was shattered. As punishment for their reckless act, Heaven cast Lucy and her love into the dark pit she had created, never allowing her to see the good that came from humanity, only the cruel and the wicked. Ashamed, Lucy lost her will to dream. But Lilian thrived, empowering demon-kind with his voice and his songs. And as the numbers of Hell grew, so did its power. Threatened by this, Heaven made a truly heartless decision. That every year, they would send down an army, an extermination to ensure Hell and its sinners could never rise against them. But Lilian's hope remained. And his dream was passed down to their precious son, the Prince of Hell. (The prince shuts the "Story Of Hell" book) (On-screen) Don't worry, Dad. I'll make you proud. (He holds a key)
Vagner: Charles?
Charles: Augh! (The key turns into a cat) Oh, shit. Did you hear all that?
Vagner: Uh... Yeah, I was right there.
Charles: Sorry. I get worked up after an extermination happens. This story helps.
Vagner: (chuckles) I know. Don't worry. I enjoy your theatrics. Are you okay?
Charles: I'm fine, just...Thinking, ya know, family stuff.
Vagner: Did you hear from your dad yet?
(Charles shakes his head saying no)
Vagner: Oof. How long has it been now?
Charles: Not that long, only...Seven...Years...Off something important, I'm sure. But this kingdom was something he really cared about. Something I care about.
Vagner: Well, at least you aren't alone.
Charles: I just hope what I'm trying to do here will work.
Vagner: It will. I have faith in you.
(The cat hopes on Charles)
Vagner: All right. Come on. Alice says she has something to show us.
(Vagner heads to the door and Charles look out of the window and see Hell on fire and goes)
(A commercial plays)
Alice: Well, hello there you wayward sinner. Do you like blood, violence and depravity of a sexual nature? Of course you do. That's why you're in Hell! But what would you say there was a place to stay that had none of that? Welcome to the Hazbin Hotel, a misguided path to redemption! Founded five days ago by Lucy's delusional son Charleson Morningstar! Come place your fate in his inexperienced hands as he tries to work through his mommy issues by fixing you! Here, we offer fun thing! Such as somewhat functional staff! And 24 hour Pest Control! Custom rooms, and just look at this tacky parlor! Enjoy riveting conversation with our singular resident. Wow! All this and more at the Hazbin Hotel! You last desperate attempt at salvation starts here.
(The tv suits off)
Alice: So, what'd ya' think?
Vagner: I'm sorry, what the fuck was that?!
Charles: Uh, yeah, one note...Alice, I mean...First off, thank you so much for making this, seriously, amazing, but um...Maybe the tone is a bit...Off? We want people to want to come here, this makes it look...Ummm...
Vagner: Bad. The word you're looking for is "bad".
Alice: Funny, I was going for hilarious!
Vagner: It didn't explain anything about how we're trying to save demons from extermination, which is the whole fucking point.
Charles: Vagner is right, Alice. The commercial was to let sinners know we are trying to help them.
Alice: Well, my dear, I haven't been active in Hell for some time, and everyone remembers me from my radio show! The proper medium to express oneself! But YOU insisted on this noisy picture box adversiment! So I had a little fun with it.
Vagner: Oh, fun? You had a little fun with it? (Stand on the sofa) Well, this is not what we want to represent us. When you showed up here a week ago, you told us you would help run the hotel! Instead, you're mocking us. Nobody's going to want to come to a place that a powerful overlord like you thinks is a waste of time!
(A demon on a sofa raises her hand)
Vagner: What?
Angela: If'n ya filmin' a commercial, can I suggest you take better advantage of the talented celebrity you have right here?
Vagner: Angela, you're a porn star.
Angela: A famous porn star. I'll have the horniest sinners knockin' these walls down to get in.
Vagner: We are not filming a porn as a commercial.
Angela: Why not? Sex sells, don't it? I swear if you film me goin' at it with mistress fancy-talk-creepy-voice here, you'd rollin' in participants willin' to stay at this tacky hotel.
Alice: Haha! Never going to happen!
Charles: Angela, I appreciate you wanting to use you special skills to, um, attract folks to the hotel, but...I really don't want to exploit you, in that way!
Angela: Oh, please, baby. This body was made to be exploited. I got the arms, I got the stamina, I got the legs. I got the lung capacity-- Oh-oh I got the legs! The gag reflex, the holes...
(Charles laughs uncomfortably and his phone rings with his mom calling)
Angela: The small tits that make everyone think I'm a man...
Charles: Uhhh, hold that thought. I'll be right back! (Walks away)
Angela: I could keep goin' all night, baby.
(Charles breathes and answers the phone)
Charles: Hello? Mom?
Angela: Hey, I have a question. If freaky face over there is so powerful, then why can't she just make people stay here?
Alice: Oh, trust me, (ominously) I can!
Hisky: Why the hell do you think I'm here?
(The camera goes to Hisky at the bar)
Hisky: You actually think I'd be cleaning bottles and listening to you fuck's bitches moan all the time if she wasn't forcin' me?
Niffter: I like being forced!
Hisky: Keep that to yourself, Niff.
Angela: What, you don't like being here with me, Whiskers?
Hisky: Call me "Whiskers" again and I'll that bottle down your throat.
Angela: Kinky. But I like pussies. But keep talkin' dirty.
Vagner: Ugh, Angela, let Hisky do her job. And no, we can't force sinners to stay here. They need to choose to.
Angela: I'm choosing to be here, and I think is all stupid. We're in Hell, toots. It's kind of the end of the road, ain't it?
Vagner: Well, maybe it doesn't have to be. Just because nobody has made it before doesn't mean is not possible. (Angela pust her arm in his shoulder)
Angela: Hey, whatever means I can keep crashin' here rent free. Crack is expensive.
Charles: (excitedly) Yeah, I can! Totally. Yeah, I'll head over there right away...Okay. (Turns off the phone) Hah! YES! YES!! Hahahaha!! Vagner! Holy shit!
Vagner: Ahh! What?!
Charles: (through closed mouth) Get over here!
(Vagner sighs and goes to where Charles is)
Vagner: What's going on?
Charles: (Inhales) My mom just called. She said that the leader of the Angel Army wants to meet. She asked if I could go instead. (Breathes deeply)
Vagner: But... But...But the extermination just happened. What would they want this soon after...
Charles: (Singing) I can do this. Somehow, I know it I'll get Heaven behind my plan!
Vagner: Charles, hold on.
Charles: There's just no way I could blow it. Not this once a lifetime change!
Vagner: It's just a meeting.
Charles: To change their minds. And touch their hearts. Or whatever angels have.
Vagner: This could be bad.
Charles: Cheer up, Vagner. This could be swell. Something tells that today will be a happy day in Hell!
Vagner: Okay, but just don't... sing to them.
Angela: That motherfucker is halfway down the street.
Vagner: Is he...
Angela: Oh, he's dancin'.
Vagner: Ugh, no.
Charles: There's a warm fuzzy feeling that wafts through the air! Every street so revealing it's hard not to stare. It's a realm so appealing it beats anywhere! If you don't mind the smell! It's a happy day in Hell! Hi, miss!
Demon: Go fuck yourself!
Dead Sinner #1: There's a endless trash fire that's burnig my soul!
Charles: Hello!
Imp: There's a lot of barbed wire to shove in her holes!
Charles: Uh, excuse me...
Executioner: Doing what is required we all have a role!
Dead Sinner #2: I'm not doing well!
Ensemble: Another shitty day in Hell!
Charles: If I can show them the dream I've dreamed, that any soul can change!
Vagner: Those angels minds are hard to change!
Charles: Then they know that everyone can be redeemed from the evil to the strange!
Vagner: They're bloodthirsty and deranged!
Charles: I can hear all their stories, the lost and the displaced! And I know that they're of an acquired taste! But if I open the door and give them a place at my Hazbin Hotel it'll be a happy day in Hell! (Jumps in the back of a truck) From the porn studio where the cinephiles go to watch award winning demon bukkake shows to the Cannibal Town where they don't wear a frown 'cause...Holy shit, ew, my gosh, why?! And I don't give a crow that her brains got in my eye! Cause I know I can spare them from Heaven's genocide! I can do this...
Dead Sinner #1: There's an endless trash fire...
Charles: I just know it! Dead Sinner #1: That's burning my soul!
Chorus: Ahhhhhhhhhh!
Charles: I'll get Heaven behind my plans! There's just no way I could blow it!
Demon Sinner #3: I kinda like the barbed wire that's shoved in my hole!
Charles: Not this once in a lifetime chance! To change their minds!
Trenchcoat Demon: And touch my parts!
Charles: Oh...No, thank you. I'm just gonna...Fullfill my destiny!
Trenchcoat Demon: Your loss fucker!
Charles: I can already tell! Today is gonna be a fucking happy day in Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeell! (Charles enters at the lobby) Hello? (echoes) Hello? Creepy...(He goes to the reception, rings the bell in the table and a paper and a feather pen appear in front of him) Oh, okay! Also creepy. (Signs the paper)
(Elevator doors open, Charles goes to them and enters in a dark room)
Charles: Hello? Is anyone here?
(The lights turn on)
Eve: 'Sup?
Charles: Holy shit! (Falls in the floor and gets up) Hi, I'm Charles. My mom asked if I could meet you.
Eve: Yeah, I know.
Charles: Okay, well, it's nice to meet you. (Stands his hand)
Eve: Totally. Nice to meet you, too. (Stands her hand)
(Charles hand passes through Eve's hand)
Charles: Ahh!
Eve: Ha! I fucking got you! Did you fuckin' see that?
(Luther shaves his head in yes)
Eve: Good shit!
Charles: Uh, so wait, you aren't here?
Eve: No, you think I'd come down there? (Laughs) No. I mean, I love the vibe, totally, I love your tunes. Pretty fuckin' hardcore, don't get me wrong. But, it's such a bummer, man. Everything down there's just so "eugh" ya know? (Chuckles) Ew.
Charles: Right. So I'm happy we got this opportunity to meet. There's a project I've been working on that I really want to talk to you about...(Eve puts her finger in his mouth)
Eve: Hey, hey, hey, slow down. We got time. How about we get to know each other, mm? How about some lunch? You hungry? I got you! (Shows a plate with ribs) Here's my personal favourite. You'll love it.
Charles: Uh, thanks! (His arms passes through the plate of ribs)
Eve: (Laughing) I got you again, fucker! Haha fuckin' hilarious! Haha!
(Back at the Hazbin Hotel, everyone is at the lobby)
Vagner: Okay, so Charles is dealing with something very important, so while he's gone, we are making a new commercial. One that representants his vision and what we're doing here. So we need a camera. Alice?
(Alice snaps her fingers and an old camera appears in Vagner's hand)
Vagner: A video camera.
Alice: Hmmm. (Snaps her fingers)
(A video camera appears in Vagner's hand)
Vagner: All right, let's do this!
(Vagner films Angela sitting at the bar)
Vagner: And...Action!
Hisky: "Welcome to the Hazbin Hotel, can I help you with anything?"
Angela: "I've been a bad girl. And I need a big strong mommy to put me in my place...On the path to redemption!"
Hisky: Ugh! "Well, you come..."
Angela: "Oh yes!"
Hisky: (boredly) "To the right place!"
Vagner: Cut! Okay, Angela, I need you to be less horny, if possible. And Hisky, can you maybe not have a script in front of your face?
Hisky: (Angrily) I ain't no actress, I can't memorize this shit!
Angela: Well, we could improve this shit, baby cakes! (Purrs seductively and Hisky push her out of the counter) Ahh!
Hisky: Whoops. (Drink a bottle)
Vagner: Hisky, come on!
(Meanwhile, Charles is bored)
Eve: So I was playing this gig, and for some fucking reason this virtue boy was digging on the drummer, and it's like, do you know who I am? I'm fucking Eve. I'm the original pussy! All pussies descend from me. You think you like a drummer pussy? No way, I'm the Pussy-fucking master! (Eats sloppily) So anyway, then we fucked, and it was awesome. What'd you do this weekend?
Charles: Wait, your name is Eve? Like the first woman? That means you...Ohhh...(Enlightened) That explains so much.
Eve: I know. I fucking rock.
Charles: Well, Eve, ma'am. Mrs. Eve, ma'am.
Eve: Call me Pussymaster.
Charles: Eve, you seem like a smart...well, stand up girl.
Eve: (With the finger in her teeth) Uh-huh.
Charles: And I know you are the leader of the angels. And you are a bigger revolutionary, a...A genius!
Eve: I maen, your words, babe.
Charles: Who would really her name on something.
Eve: Fucking love putting my name on shit! Shit's the best!
Charles: It's a solution to our biggest problem!
Eve: Oh, herpes. Yeah, that's a bitch.
Charles: No! Our other biggest problem.
Eve: Oh, uh...Ugly people? (Looks at the camera) Math? Global warming? Nah, wait that's Earth's problem. Umm...
(At the hotel, a bug walks in the floor and a needle tries to stab it saverel times)
Niffter: Hehehe. Stab. Stab. Stab.
Vagner: Alright Niffter. Niffter? Niffter! (Stops him) Your line is "We have the cleanest rooms". Okay?
Niffter: Got it. I'm ready.
Vagner: (Turns on the camera) Action!
(Niffter looks at the camera with his pupil constricted and Angela and Vagner look at him confused and he keeps staring weirdly)
Vagner: Uhh...Cut. (Turns off the camera)
(Niffter smiles again)
Niffter: (Giggles) How was that?
Vagner: Well, Niffter, you actually have to say the line. So let's roll again.
Niffter: Okay!
Vagner: Action. (Turns on the camera)
(Niffter stares deeply at the camera)
Angela: You're doing great, Vagina!
Vagner: Cut! Alright, um, maybe wr can try to fix it in the post.
Angela: Do you even know what that means?
Vagner: (Angrily) I'll figure it out!
(In the lobby, Vagner is watching the video with the camera connected to the tv)
Hisky: (On TV) Welcome to the Hazbin Hotel.
(Vagner groans, covers his eyes and Alice appears in his side)
Alice: Seems like you're having a bit of trouble there, hm?
Vagner: Ugh, esta pendeja...Why are you even here?
Alice: For the entertainment! I came here because I love seeing wasteful souls struggle to accomplish something meaningful and fail spectacularly. Like you are doing now! Good job!
Vagner: (Turns on the camera) And here is Alice, the egocentric piece of shit that...
(Alice gets static on the camera and it starts to spark and Vagner screams and knocks the camera down)
Alice: I wouldn't try that, my darling. (Sinisterly) This face was made for radio.
Vagner: (Gets angry) That's it! I don't care who or what you are! If you are staying here you are going to make this work! Beause it won't be so "entertaining" to watch an empty hotel will it, shit ass?! (Turns around and walks away)
Alice: Fair enough. I'll tell you what. Let's make a deal.
Vagner: Pft! You think I'm that stupid? Making a deal with a demon like you.
Alice: Not for your soul, just a simple deal. I do this for you, and you never ask me to engage with this frivolous television technology ever again. Or...Charles can come back to absolutely nothing! Your choice.
Vagner: (Sighs) Fine. (Gets the video camera and raises in Alice's hand and green ghosted skulls fly around it)
Alice: Now then! (Makes the camera disappear and snaps her fingers)
(Angela, Hisky and Niffter, a lot of filming materials and a ghost recording team appear in the lobby and everyone gets tailor clothes)
Vagner: Alright, everyone! Let's make a fucking commercial.
(Meanwhile)
Eve:...When you take him out for the fifth time and he still expects you to pay the check, but you're like, (In deep voice) "Hey I thought you wanted equality"!
Charles: (Frustrated) No! Our shared problem of overpopulation in Hell!
Eve: (Normal) Oh! Well, that's not a problem! We got that covered! Luther, how many demons did you kill this year?
Luther: Got a good 275 this year, ma'am.
Eve: 275? Whoa, badass! Awesome job, danger dick! Pound it. (Punch fists with Luther)
Charles: Uh, no, not awesome. Those are my people, you know that, right?
Eve: Ohhh, yeah...That must suck for you. Pft...Hahahaha! Charles: But these are souls. Human souls, just the same as the ones you have in Heaven.
Luther: They're not the same. They had their chance and they earned damnation.
Charles: You're wrong. Sinners made mistakes, sure, but everyone makes mistakes.
Luther: Angels don't make mistakes.
Charles: You really think that?
Luther: I know that.
Eve: Yeah, I've never made a mistake in my fucking life.
Luther: The only reason you're still here is because Mommy gave you and your Hellborn-kind a pardon from an exorcist blade. How does that feel? To know how little you matter.
(Charles shrinks back)
Eve: Oops, almost out of time. Guess we should get into it...
Charles: Oh! Fuck!...(Get up from the chair) Okay. I've a lot to get through and not a lot of time and I feel like you weren't really hearing before, so here goes. (Clears throat) (Singing) I know Hell's population is out of control. It's a bad situation, it's taking a toll. If we rehabe these sinners and cleanse all their souls at my Hazbin Hotel! (Normal) Wait I'm getting ahead of myself! Right! Extermination! (Singing) I know you guys fly down just to kill once a year. And it must be annoying to schlep all the way here. If they join you in Heaven that trip disappears! You can wave that chore farewell! (Deep breath) It'll be a happy day in...
Eve: (Singing) Let me stop you right there, save us all precious time!
Charles: (Normal) Okay?
Eve: If what you're suggesting is letting them climb! Up the ladder. Oh they rather cross the Pearly Gates? Sorry, sweetie, but there's no defying in their fates! 'Cause Hell is forever wheter you like it or not! Had their chance to behave better now they boil in a pot! 'Cause the rules are black and white there's no use in trying to fight it! They're burning for their lives until we kill them again!
Charles: Okay, but...
Eve: Just try to chillax, babe, you're wasting your breath!
Charles: (Nervously) Hehe...
Eve: Did I hear you imply that they deserve death? Are they winners? Are they sinners? 'Cause it's cut and dry!
Charles: Actually, if you take a look...
Eve: Fair is fair, an eye for an eye! And when all's said and done! (Said and done) There's the question of fun! (Fun) And for those of us with divine ordainment, extermination is entertainment! (Imitates guitar) Guitar solo, fuck yeah! (Imitates guitar) Hell is forever whether you like or not! Had their chance to behave better now they boil in a pot!
Charles: Where all these people come from?
Eve: 'Cause the rules are black and white, there's no use in trying to fight it! They're burning for their lives until we kill them again! (materializes a guitar and play it) Fucking Hell is forever and it's meant to suck a lot! So give up your dumb endeavor 'cause you don't have a shot!
(Charles groans, his paper gets on fire and his hair moves in the air and horns appear in his head)
Eve: Long as I've got your attention, I guess In should probably mention that we made a determination (Shows a contract) To move up the next extermination!
Charles: What?!
Eve: Can't wait a whole year to slaughter those little cunts! (Holds Charles' wrist) I know is just been a week, but we'll be back in six months! (Spins Charles out of the room and plays her guitar)
Charles: Um, wait, didn't you...(Goes at the door, but it closes) Awh, shit! (Punches the door)
(Charles returns sad to the Hazbin Hotel)
Vagner: Charles! (Hugs him) How did it go? Did they listen?
Charles: Oh, uh...They sure did...hear it! But, um...
Vagner: Oh! Come here. We have something exciting to show you! (Holds Charles to the living room) Alice pulled some strings, and it's about to air.
Alice: I pulled a few limbs too! Hahaha!
Charles: Wait? The commercial? You all made a new one?
Angela: Yeah, one of my better performances, if I do can say so myself.
Charles: That's...That's amazing.
Angela: Shh! It's starting!
Vagner: (On TV) Welcome to the Hazbin Hot...
(The TV changes to the 666 News channel and everyone complains)
Kallie: (On TV) Breaking news in Hell today! We have just received word from the Heaven Embassy that the next extermination is happening sooner than ever before! Do you know what that means, Tomita?
Tomita: No. What does that means, Kallie?
Kallie: It means we are all royally fucked!
(The clock in an hourglass changes to 176 with everyone screaming)
Angela: Wait...What? Why?!
(A drone laser scans a headless body of an angel laying in Hell and Eve and Luther see then from the ship)
Luther: We found the body, ma'am. They've never managed to kill one of us before. We should just go down there now and destroy them!
Eve: No, no. We can't risk them catching on. But don't worry, when we come back, there won't be a demon left to pull a stunt like this again. (Breaks the projector and her eyes and mouth glow in the dark)
(The end credits start playing)