Yesterday I had to take my boy Chichi (Miniature Pinscher) who was almost 12 years old this month to an emergency vet. He'd been having health issues since last year, and about a week ago he started getting worse. Sunday morning we discovered a huge hole in his testicles but couldn't get him to see anyone until Monday afternoon. Our vet told us that with how bad his heart had gotten, he most likely wouldn't survive surgery, but there was a possibility he could, but we were reminded that given his age and how bad everything had gotten, those chances were low. I didn't want my baby to die with us not being with him, I didn't want to put him through that so I had to make the hardest decision I'd ever had to make, and I had to say goodbye.
There's this part of me that knew I was going to have to put him down, but there was this false sense of hope that he'd have a few more years with us. I don't think you can ever be prepared mentally even if you know that you have to make this sort of decision. I knew I was doing the right thing, but it didn't make me feel less guilty for bringing him there.
The thing is, this dog was my mom's dog originally, we'd gotten him when I was still in high school, I was almost 17 and my mom brought home this little dog that I thought was annoying, I don't really like smaller breeds but I think they're cute. He was such a drama queen and super sassy about everything. He figured out how to push the door open get into my room and started to sleep in there with me without me knowing. And after awhile he somehow became my dog, he chose me as his person and I couldn't say no to a dog that loved me as much as he did. I'm 28 now, I've had him for so long that him being gone just feels off, there's a part of me that's missing, and I miss him so much. Sorry for the long post, I just needed to get this off my chest.

A couple of years ago I tried writing my own version of Stones Abbigale. I never got past the first couple scenes, but I'm considering returning to it. I wanted to basically rewrite and change up a lot of things, mainly focusing on Abbi and Davis and changing some elements. Let me know what you think!

1
It's almost four in the morning and Seth is threatening suicide again. Good. Fuck him. I hope he does it. I don't text him that because I read about this girl who told her boyfriend to kill himself. The irony was that when he actually did it she got charged with second degree murder. My life is fucked as it is I don't need to make it worse. It's almost two in the morning and I have to be up for school in a few hours. I’m shivering under my comforter because we’re halfway through November. I think about the turkey that won't get made this year and the family I won't see. I think that's swell. Seth is still texting.
Its like u dont even care after everything that happened and after everything we did together i saved ur life and i stayed with u when u cried and i hugged u and i did everything for u but that wasn't enough was it? i try so hard and all u ever are is a bitch to me that's not fair u want me to die and u hate me and u dont even care and im sick of it abbi why is is so hard for u to care about me?
I don't respond. I don't like how I feel about this. This should be easy. He won't actually do it. He won't. He’s too self involved to kill himself. I put my phone face down on my bed. The sheets shake around it as he sends message after message. I was sleeping on a ticking bomb so I got off of it. My feet stick to the floor, I struggle to step. I might as well have been standing barefoot on ice. I trudge to my window so I can see my street at night. Winter is really coming. You can't hear as many birds as you used to. They've all gone. They've all flown away. I can see three streetlights from where I’m standing. If you can from right to left you can see the concrete fracture into the sand. I open my window and brace for the chill. I stick my head outside. The ocean is not far away. I hear it hitting the shore over and over. Waves of water splashing incessantly, almost beating out my text notifications. The street lights flicker. I think of last summer. When Seth and I got really high after the news broke that my Mom was cheating on my Dad. I was making out with that bong. Emptying bowl after bowl, clanking the glass on the road to empty it out. Just thinking about it makes me feel the street pole against my back again. I was laughing and crying. Seth leaned in and hugged me. “I’m a sure thing,” he said. “I love you and I always will.” I caught my reflection in his sunglasses. I looked awful. I shiver at the memory. My phone is still buzzing. I try to catch my breath. I shut my window and start to walk back to my bed. A room always looks different in the dark. Maybe you think you know where you are, but there is always something that can jump out at you on the floor. Like a ghostly paper bag or a vengeful shoe. Objects that seem to move on their own with the sole drive of tripping you. I crawl back into bed. There's the phantom of Dad’s snoring . I know he's not sleeping in his room, he fell asleep on the couch after finishing his seventh fifth. Sometimes my brain fills in the gaps so I can hear it everywhere. Funnily, I haven't actually heard him snore since Mom left. That's the one thing I ever heard them fight about. Before she turned out to be a whore, I guess. BZZT.BZZT.BZZT. I can't bring myself to read any of his messages. They're coming so fast all the paragraphs are lost to motion blur. Seth’s arms wrap around me and I think about the beating of his heart and the warmth of his lips against my skin. I open up the texts, ready to respond.
I love you
I text this over and over until I fall asleep.
Davis was the only senior on the bus. Somehow, everyone else had a car or a ride. It’s all right, though. James would probably give him one if he had a car, but he skated to school every morning. That's why he barely ever rode the bus with him. The bus thumped along the under paved roads. Davis forgot his earbuds at home, so the only music that accompanied him was his racing thoughts. Two sophomore girls popped their heads over. “Ohmigod, Davis!” One of them shrieked.. “As I live and breathe,” he smiled. “Nice,” she said. “I’m so excited to see your finished painting.” Davis took the lower level art class for a requirement. Like most things, he's not taking it very seriously. For their pop art unit, he's painting a portrait of the art teacher with a warthog face. It's one of his funny disruptions. He knows Mrs. Stanley is going to have a real field day with it, but it doesn't matter. Artistic liberties, he’d profess. “She's such a bitch, isn't she?” The sophomore girl turns to her compatriot, who only nods in response. “She's just jealous,” Davis says. “It must be depressing to teach art and see the youth soar above her.” “For sure,” the girl doesn't get it. Class clown is a semi-heavy burden. Davis doesn't really feel like talking to these girls, but his position demands it. Comedy informs everything about him. To the giant thrift store jeans, to the loud Hawaiian shirt. He and James are the ultimate combination, at least he likes to think so. Quiet brooding begs for bright distraction. The girl is still trying to talk to him and Davis is saying his preprogrammed lines. The bus stops in front of James’s street. Surprisingly, James is standing there. “Like I’m this close to just filling my hydroflask with vodka, yaknow?” says the chick. Maybe she's just trying to get a rise out of him. “Better be prepared to give me more than a sip,” Davis is watching James grumble towards the bus. The sun is beating down on the forming ice puddles. James stomps through them with small shattering steps. James turns up the bus aisle and plops in the seat next to Davis. Davis’s smile is genuine now, but he fights it from getting too wide. “Crash your vehicle?” Davis asks. “Something like it,” there's something off with him. Davis doesn't want to push it. “Well damn, hope insurance covers it,” Davis wants James to break and laugh. Is it just another mood or did something actually happen this time? “It won't, I got bad credit,” James grins and it's like heaven. “What's the move for you today?” “Surviving art and physics for me,” says Davis. “Those bastards love to keep me down.” “Who doesn't,” James eyes the girls who have since returned to whatever they were doing before. It's the judgement stare, as Davis calls it. James likes to observe his peers like a zoo-goer. Breaking them down to taxonomic types. Davis likes to think that James doesn't do this to him, but he knows he probably does. “It sucks you decided to be bad at school and take baby art,” James is still dissecting the sophomore girls down to their tropes. “We could have done Art II together.” “I wouldn't want to get between you and Alex. I know how you love it when people piss in jars next to you.” “That's disgusting,” James breaks his glare at the girls. “It's performance art, it's beautiful,” Davis gets up out of his seat to yell. “Everyone witness the wonderful work of Alex Madov! Disengage yourself from the shackles of capitalism by shouting with me: Poopy, pee pee, poop!” Davis gets a few chuckles from the other kids on the bus. “Sit down, fatso,” mumbles the bus driver. “I will not be silenced! I’m a messenger of the good word, sir!” “More of this shit and I’m skipping your stop!” “Fine, but I will make Alex remember on the day of judgement,” Davis sits back down. James is full belly laughing. “You're so retarded,” James wheezes. Davis can't even come back with a response. He's high off of it.
The bus pulls into the school lot with a short stop. The mobs get up and begin to race out. Davis follows James down the line. “You know Abbi?” James asks. Davis feels a little pit form in his stomach, but he doesn't change his expression. “Vaguely, what about her?” “She's in my art class,” James begins. “And I think … well you know, I’m going to talk to her.” He walks down the steps and out the door. “Doesn't she have a boyfr-” before Davis can descend the driver's arm blocks him. “I’ve had enough of your shit, kid,” he says. “If you keep being obnoxious, I’m gonna find a way to make you pay for it.” James looks back, but he can't stay. Davis knows that he's gotta get to class. James does a little wave goodbye and Davis salutes him. “Are you even listening to me?” the bus driver seethes. “Yes, sir. Divine retribution, got it.” Davis ducks underneath his arm and exits the bus. James has already disappeared into the crowd.
I pass the bong to Ashley. She starts another bowl. She’s the transport and I provide the material. The little things that keep our friendship afloat. I look at the clock in her car. “It's 8:45,” I pick a piece of bagel out of my teeth. “So that's it, we officially missed first period,” Ashley tops it off. “They won't mark us, you know. It's a study.” “Yeah, but when's the last time we signed in? I heard they're changing the policy again. Do you still have the lighter?” I toss it to her. I don't get it. It's always her idea to pick me up so we can smoke before school, why now is she suddenly caring about attendance? “We're pretty girls, we can get out of it. I’m next,” I tap on the clock. “Are you sure it's not fast?” She shakes her head as she takes a snap. We're parked in the pond area a block or two from the school. It's our designated smoking spot. I like it, even at the end of fall it's pretty. I’m so engrossed that I don't realize her tip out the bowl and put it back in the cup holder. “I don't know if it's wise to keep up the activity, we should probably get going soon,” she starts up her car again. “Okay,” I say. She reverses and swings out of the lot. We lean into the silence and it's super weird. “Seth texted me last night,” I wait for her reaction. “Oh,” she grimaces. “What did you say?” “That I loved him.” Silence again. Ashley's trying to put together something well-meaning while understanding that I’ll probably ignore whatever she has to say. “Abbi, I’m not trying to tell you how to run your life, but …” Her expression is now quizzical. She's said what she is about to say a number of different ways all ready. She thinks and thinks and decides to say nothing. Good call, I would have screamed at her. Not because what she thinks about my situation isn't true, I’m just in a ‘screaming at people mood’ because of it. “I’m going to dye my hair again,” she changes the subject to avoid conflict. Classic Ash. “Oh yeah? What color this time?” “I don't know,” she checks her reflection in the rear view. “The red has faded out, maybe blue or pink this time.” “You should go with a softer pink,” I say. “Since you're a soft spring.” “Yeah, maybe.” We enter the school lot. “Listen, do you want to get together when I do it? Maybe you can dye your hair too.” “I don't know, I might be busy,” I say. “Seth might want to do something,” I pause for her to protest. “Okay,” she says. She parks and we get out.
I barrel into art class. I don't care if I reek, out of all the teachers I can tell Mrs. Stanley smokes the most. It would be hypocritical of her to care. It looks like I’m the first one. Weird. I check my phone. It's 8:45. Well, fuck. Looks like Ashley needs to fix her clock. Mrs. Stanley is at her desk. She looks at me knowingly. “Eager to create today, Abbi?” I just nod and sit at my desk. I’m really feeling it. I open up my precalc notebook and just start sketching. Birds, eyes, trees, whatever. Kids start coming in. Their chatter echoes around me, I try to focus on what I’m doing. Someone bumps into my table. I look up. It's this lanky blonde kid, I think his name is James. He presses his hands underneath the desk as he leans up to talk to me. “Eww!” He shouts. Some kids turn and laugh. I don't. I just stare at him. James goes red and sits next to the kid who pissed in a jar. Once an adequate amount of students are in the room, Mrs. Stanley starts her lesson slideshow. On the screen is a dirty urinal. “How many of you are familiar with this work by Marcel DuChamp?” she asks. At this point, Jason, the designated meathead jock, enters the room. “Sorry I’m late, Mrs. S,” he booms. He looks at the slide. “We building bathrooms today?” Mrs. Stanley glares at him. “Wouldn't you like that? Considering you spend all of your time in there.” “Whatever,” Jason brushes his mullet behind his ears. “No, not whatever. Would you like me to move you into the sophomore class with Davis? Believe it or not he's getting much better marks than you are getting in here.” Jason rolls his eyes and takes his place in the chair next to me. “Up to a little extra curricular activities before art, Abbi?” he motions a joint in his fingers. I scoff and go on my phone. There's another text from Seth.
sorry about last night
and
im reading it all right now that was fucked im sorry
I start to respond, but before I can Mrs. Stanley outstretches her hand. “Give me your phone, Miss Hagerty. I’m sick of giving you warnings.” I don't have the energy to fight, I just give it to her. “You can pick it up at the end of the day.” My jaw actually drops. Jason must have really set her off, she's not usually such a cunt to me. “Anyways, found art. What is it? Well, found art is the use of everyday objects to convey an altered meaning. It can be something you find on the street or something that once held value to you. For example, My Bed by Tracey Elim.” She pulls up a picture of a messy bed that looks suspiciously like my own. “So for your final unit of the semester, you will be making your own found art. I really want you to take this project a little more seriously than most of you have been taking this class. I’m giving you the privilege of picking your own partners, but I’d like to remind you to be thoughtful with your choice. This will be worth more for your grade.” I look around. I don't have any friends here. I toy around with the idea of asking Jason for convenience and he looks like he's about to pull that move. Behind me there's that James guy. He’s sheepishly looking at me. He seems kind of nice. Okay. I don't feel like getting up so I just turn around in my chair. “Hey James, wanna be partners?” He balks a bit and then smiles at me. “Yeah, totally,” He's beaming and it's somewhat endearing. Alex and I switch seats and now I’m next to him. “I’m gonna be real with you …” I begin. He stops and shifts a little. “I have no idea what we're supposed to be doing for this.” He regards me oddly. Like he's trying to piece me together. It doesn't bother me. “She said we have to bring in an object that's special to us and present it artistically basically,” he rubs his chin. Damn, I must be baked to hell. I didn't hear her saying that at all. “So got any stuffed animals we can cut up and make Lovecraftian monstrosities out of?” “I got a hamster cage, hold the hamster,” I say. It comes out kind of weird and I probably sound stupid, but he doesn't seem to care. “Let's make a fucking zoo.” “Perfect!” He’s kind of cute actually. In a way. Something about this feels fun. I realize the bell will ring soon. “So um,” I rip out a page of my precalc notebook, still fresh with my drawings. I scrawl out my number and push it to him. “Call me so we can figure out the project some more.” I pack up all my stuff and start to head out. I can feel him watching me and it's not that bad. “I sure will,” he says. Everything feels really groovy. There's a lightness now. I’m halfway out the door when I remember my phone. I can't believe that I just forgot about Seth. I think about begging for my phone, but I feel too above that. Still, something shakes the good feeling as the bell rings.

I was fortunate enough to have been able to see all three films in the theaters on their respective premiere dates. I remember the visual experience was unlike any other that I had ever seen. They were perfect, pure, and beauty incarnate. This was the case even before we had access to HD versions of the films. When the extended editions came out on DVD, I watched them over and over again, reliving the experience as often as I could manage it. But then there was a long period of several years where I simply didn’t have time to watch them due to having started college.
Then one day, after the blu ray format had already made an impact in the home video industry for several years, I finally got around to jumping on the blu ray bandwagon, got myself a very small HD tv, and got myself the Lord of the Rings extended editions of the films in the updated format. Although the magic and wonder was still there, it was the first time I had noted that the films had started to show their age just a bit more than I had realized; the most glaring feature being that everything had a sort of surreal green tint, up to and including all of the characters, which I assumed was the result of the light of the green screen reflecting off of the actors faces.
I didn’t learn until literally just the other week that the green tint wasn’t the way the films had originally looked. It was a glitch in the restoration process for the blu ray releases that resulted in a green tint throughout all three films. Ironically, this glitch is NOT present in the blu ray theatrical cuts of the films. In fact, despite the lack of the extended scenes, the theatrical blu ray remaster is, on a technical level, far visually superior to the extended.
If you see the scenes that the theatrical versions have in common, you can actually see a lot of the what green tint, and other color balance issues of the extended versions, has done to the integrity of the film; some scenes are washed out, some scenes are missing crisper detail, and you lose a lot of the fine details in some of the special effects.
The green tint was never corrected in subsequent HD releases; confusing considering most extended prints of blu raybfilms tend to have better remastering and editing corrections.
The problem is, now that I know it's there, I can't unsee it ever again.
When it was announced that not only was the Lord of the Rings extended editions going to be remastered in 4K, but that Peter Jackson himself was overseeing the project, Tolkien fans and cinephiles alike went absolutely nuts with excitement.
But then the 4K remaster was released, and right off the bat, the use of DNR was glaringly obvious. Everyone looked like they were posing for selfies on Instagram. There was even a scene where Gandalf’s staff kept disappearing because the DNR mistook it for digital noise. It also appeared to be an upscale of the blu ray rather than a fresh scan of the original film print. And being that it was an upscale of the blu ray extended edition, the restoration started with the green tint, then was color corrected to appear more like the correct colors of the theatrical cut. However, because it was not an exact color match, but an approximation, this resulted in some scenes being so bright and washed out that significant amounts of detail were lost. On top of this, an additional effect filter was used to make the visuals more consistent with the Hobbit trilogy; the newer, but less beloved prequel trilogy panned by critics and Tolkien fans alike. But lastly, and most insultingly, there are several scenes in which several of the little actors doubling for the Hobbit characters in wide shots, were digitally replaced with renderings of the main actors. In other words, Peter Jackson did a Star Wars to his films.
Unless Peter Jackson allows for someone else to release another edition with a new remaster, or does another one himself, but better this time around, the hope that the public will see a perfectly preserved version of the extended Lord of the Rings trilogy is utterly lost. That’s an absolute tragedy.
Though making new films is important, the primary benefit of 4K technology is its ability to preserve the fidelity of older films. It’s not just the preservation of art, but the preservation of culture. What Peter Jackson has done, if he doesn’t reverse it, is cultural vandalism. It's just like George Lucas; what he has done to his original trilogy is cultural vandalism. What every DNR-happy studio is doing to otherwise wonderful films, is cultural vandalism.
The fruit of knowledge is bitter indeed.

Hi all - strap in lol..
I (23M) had been seeing a girl (22F) for around 9 months and we became official just touching 7 months ago..
At the beginning, everything was pretty good and I was happy. Around March this year, her effort dramatcially decreased. There were a few red flags that I admittedly ignored such as a promiscuous past ( not necassarily a red flag in itself but she was pretty vocal about it which I'll get to ), me being her first boyfriend and from what I could gather, the first guy to treat her well.
For the duration of the 9 months, she didn't plan one single date, she did not get me anything for Valentines day or our 6 month anniversary, when I asked her to join me and my family for dinner for an important milestone in my life ( 1 year sober ) she did not make the effort to be there as she was " too tired " . I got her a nice photo of the two of us framed for our 6 months which she hadn't even bothered to unwrap up to the last time I saw her which was less than a week ago..
I planned every date, paid for 98% percent of them, planned and paid for two holidays which I wouldn't mind doing had she shown effort in other ways.. Like at the beginning, she would make the effort to call me every night which was more than enough for me to know she cared. I'm not a needy bloke, I didn't need gifts and to be wined and dined but something so simple as the phone calls was good for me, but that faded around February..
Things really started to look bleek around the time of our second Holiday which was the beginning of last month. She had been out drinking the night before and told me the next day she had a guy from her class pour liquour into her mouth which personally for me, was a boundary crossed that I foolishly ignored. Then, one of the nights on holiday, while drunk, she decided to show me a list she had kept in her notes app of all her past sexual partners and even went as far to tell me how big one of the guys dicks was (upon reflection I should've left her there and then).
Now, don't get me wrong, she was not a demon. She had many moments of showing affection and care, she bought me some nice clothes for Christmas and my birthday aswell as other small but thoughtful gifts and often used to keep my favorite drinks in the fridge for when I came over. But for the mostpart, the effort was just not there and would frequently go hours without snapping me back, and often times wouldn't start an actual verbal conversation ever and there wouldn't be one if I didn't start one..
I brought up the lack of effort to her 3 or 4 times and and told her, if she just wasn't into me it was fine and we could call it quits, but we needed to communicate. Each time she would cry, maintain that she loved me, she wanted me in her life and wanted to be with me. She is super focused on her studies and I told her I totally get it and that I don't expect to come first, and don't want much, but something so simple as the nightly phone call was enough for me to know she cared. Each time she told me she would try and do better but nothing ever changed.
So, this Sunday gone, I couldn't do it anymore and initiated a break up. Once she saw I was serious she kind of scrambled to make it mutual, but I inititated it and I don't think she had intented to finish with me any time soon. I told her nothing has changed and I don't see it changing, she told me she doesn't feel she can give me what I need (which is not very much) or deserve. She said she loves me still and probably always will. The last thing I said to her was, I will miss you, I am thankful for the times we shared, wished her the best of luck with her studies and the rest of her time in my country ( she's not from here) and goodbye. I have since entered a period of no contact with her.
I also don't believe there was another guy on the scene, she was never secretive with her phone and always left her location on, which I never checked as I found that to be unhealthy, but her wilingness to leave it on was fairly reassuring in that regard.
The reason I am conflicted is because, I don't believe she saw it ending and I do believe she had genuine feelings for me, but I couldn't allow myself be disrespected and taken for granted any longer for my own sanitys sake.
What I'm asking is, given it ended amicably, is it hopeless to think that she will realise what she lost and come back and make an effort, or is it dead in the water.. Afterall, even though I ended it, I am in love with her and am finding the no contact incredibly difficult although have no intention of breaking it.
I find it hard to believe she is able to let someone who did and cared so much for her go that easily, but am also aware life is cruel and unforgiving..
I'd really like some non biased opinions on this.. Thanks!
Edit: she has not yet taken down the photos of us together on Instagram if that counts for anything...

I have made a list of things that I think need to be improved, changed or fixed based on my in-game experience. Please note that these are just my *opinions* and feel free to explain why (if) you disagree in the comments or share your own suggestions. Some of them may be already present in the game. Sorry if I missed. Try not to downvote to hell just because you don't like a single article :D

Suggestions:

1. Click-and-drag scrolling for easier navigation through the game menus.
2. Photo mode that allows players to hide the HUD, perfect for capturing those heroic moments.
3. Simpler notifications: Relocate objective and mission completion notifications to the top of the screen and minimize them to reduce screen clutter. It is hard to aim for weak spots when you are playing at high difficulty and have a big wall of text in the middle of your screen.
4. Help: Add a “Help” voice command to the Q radial menu wheel. + more&new commands?
5. Crosshair: Option to hide the aiming reticle/crosshair because it simply doesn’t help at all when you have another round crosshair in the middle that shows where your shots actually go. It also blocks the view for long range aiming.
6. Hiding nameplates / Streamer mode: Option to toggle player names.
7. Equipment preview: Armor and helmets should be shown as sets when you hover your mouse over them or choose them instead of the default diver armohelmet. OR previewing a helmet shouldn’t change the player's armor to the default and show the current set that the player has equipped and vice versa for previewing armor.
8. SOS Beacon don't show up on the stratagem menu when your team doesn't have 4 players or after a player leaves the mission.
9. Versatile Jump Packs: Allow the use of primary or secondary weapons with jump packs. Also, a superhero landing pose if you hold down B while landing airborne with the jump pack.
10. Increased jump distance or jump height for jump packs slightly.
11. Super Punisher: Add a flashlight to the Punisher shotgun and some other primary/support weapons that do not have them, so divers can shed light on the darkest enemies of our way of life.
12. Standardize weapon ergonomics: Some primary weapons handle like autocannon while some handle like a pocket gun.
13. Delay on EAT: Sometimes EAT do not fire after you equip and aim it. I try to fire a few times and nothing happens.
14. Arc Thrower & Blitzer: Lightning arcs should damage Terminid eggs. Don't make their arcs jump between the eggs if you think it would be OP, but being able to kill a charger with an arc thrower and yet failing to destroy a smoll egg is kinda lame.
15. Booster Icons: Add booster icons next to team stratagem list that show up when you press CTRL, so we can see what our fellow divers chose to bring.
16. Shield Generator Relay: Sometimes explosions happening outside will kill, stagger or damage the player standing inside the shield. Outside explosions should have much less or no effect on player.
17. Bile Titans tanking Hellpods: Sometimes -almost always lol- Titans don't take any damage, get staggered or die even if you land directly on their head or body with a hellpod.
18. Improved Incendiaries: Prolong the burn time of incendiary grenades for a few more seconds. They seem to go out before they even kill anything or deny an entry.
19. Convenient Flamethrower: Remove the movement speed penalty of firing the flamethrower OR increase the flamethrower’s range by 3-5 meters. Enemies mostly start to attack you, as soon as they enter the range of your flamethrower already. If you believe first option would be unbalanced, then you can make it only avaliable for armors with speed stats above +520
20. Improve Patriot Exosuit: Fix the aiming and accuracy of the Patriot Exosuit missiles. Also, we need much better gun&pod elevation and depression for a 10 minute cooldown stratagem imo.
21. Fall damage variation: Fall damage needs to differ between armor sets that you have equipped. Players with light armor should take less damage. However, if you want to give another advantage to heavy armor sets, then you can make heavy armors decrease/negate fall damage to some extent because they would be more protective etc.
22. Fire effects rework: I don’t know if it is just how it seemed to me instead of how it works but fire effects from napalms, grenades etc. only create flames that are scattered around instead of a big strong wall/pool of fire. These flames make it easier to walk around or through them for enemies and take less damage inside the affected area. I think everything inside a circular radius needs to take constant fire damage. Idk how to explain this better. Sorry if it is already how it works.

TW: gender dysphoria
I’ve very recently come to realize I am almost definitely trans. Or at least some degree of femme leaning NB. I hate this. I don’t want to feel like this. No matter how much I research on the topic I can’t find a solution. I just want to be comfortable as a man. I don’t want these thoughts or feelings. I don’t want to live like this anymore.
How can I stop the dysphoria without transitioning? You can’t from what I can tell. So I’m left with two options:

1. Stay in the closet. Live life as a man. Stay miserable forever.
   
2. Transition. Lose everyone close to me & die alone.
   

Both are terrible. So therefore, maybe I should just end it all. Why live when no matter what path I take, it always ends in misery.
I hate that the people I love hate trans people. But I don’t want to be alone. Is it better to suffer in silence? Is it better to just die?
I don’t know anymore. My life is a wreck. I don’t want to be here. I don’t want to be this person. I just want to start again as someone else. Someone normal.

I always thought I wanted kids and I romanticized the whole pregnancy and birth and motherhood experiences but now that I’m learning more about it and a close friend of my partner is on kid #2, I’m getting that feeling less and less , I see the pros and cons and I just feel so lost for the future (my partner said he’s good with whichever decision I make)
The pros I see - family - future events - cute lil moments when their growing up - my partner would be a great dad (I feel like I’d be a good mom if I get my anxiety under control) - the kid/parent friendship when they get oldeadult
The cons - my anxiety/mental health is already poor - my stress levels - not where i want to be in life (career and health I want to be better) - financial burden - expectations (that my partner and I would have, family… - health risks - death/birth complications - PPD - ruining my relationship (having a baby because I feel outside pressure to and we end up resenting each other… I may read too many Reddit stories) - how my body will change - how it will affect my career - life in general -> housing crisis, politics, job security, - the moms I know now compared to before kids have completely lost their own identity (I would still want to be my own person not just ‘mom’) - being disappointed (have to be realistic- everyone has an idea of what they hope their family will be like ) - family not getting along (it could happen) - lack of personal /couple time
So I have a few questions 1. How is your life different from friends/family with kids 2. What are holidays like being childless 3. Do you regret not having kids/feel like you missed out on that experience? 4. How did you know you wanted or didn’t want kids 5. Did you decide to have kids because you wanted to fit it/it was the next step?
When my partner and I tell people we might not want kids , they seem personally offended by that decision, as if I chose not to because of someone else specifically

I have been depressed/ill as long as i can remember, my childhood was crappy but nothing to make anyone shocked or feel much pity. I was smart and had friends but i couldn't get close to anyone. I cant be close with people because i just assume they don't like me and stop talking to them. Im in college and had a job, i went to inpatient recently and decided to not go back to that job because it sucked. I have a dog and my mom and sister love me, i like to read and like plants and kpop, we travel and i have a good extended family, i also have a bike i like to ride. So my life is pretty good in general.
Despite that, i just want to die. I dont find any happiness or joy in living. Things that should make me feel content just dont. I have moments of excitement or happiness but most of the time i just feel dead inside. A lot of days i dont find joy in things im supposed to like and just want to lay in bed. Inpatient was difficult because I missed home but it was great, I felt happy like i think I should feel, I met so many different people and felt like I belonged. I also got put on mood stabilizers that I think really helped. But ever since I got discharged i feel just like before i went in. If i didnt go, I 100% would have killed myself. I attempted suicide before by hanging, but when i dropped, the noose of bed sheets came loose and i fell down after a few seconds. Because of that, I know that I could do it. I felt happy that finally I wouldnt have to live anymore. I finally felt peace the moment I stepped off the cliff. Before inpatient, I ordered rope but I texted my therapist last minute and was taken to the hospital.
Im not scared of dying, the thought of infinite nothing makes me happy. But my mom already lost her parents and is sensitive, my sister and I are her world, she told me she couldnt survive without me. It was hard on her when I went to inpatient because she missed me badly and was so scared and worried. Thats the only thing that is stopping me. But sometimes i feel selfish and want to just do it anyway.
Therapy barely helps because theres no gut wrenching trauma to overcome. No awful living conditions that drag me down. No legal trouble or financial trouble or addictions. I just wasnt meant to be here. I was premature and wouldnt have lived without freakish machines. I feel like an accident and the universe needs correcting. I dont want a happy or "fulfilling " life, im tired and just want to die. What can someone like me do? Is suicide just the only answer?

I recently started to get into this medium/ psychic nature. So I don’t know much about it, but I’ve had experiences where I can’t explain what happened. The most notable one is when one of my great grandparents died, I was surprised by this and beginning to be sad. But in a moment I felt the pressure you feel when someone lays a hand on you, on my right shoulder, I could only think of her, then I was overcome by a intense sense of peace. This really felt like she deeply loved me even in her passing it seemed to me she wanted to see me for a last time.
Then a day or two ago I was gonna ask the question of what makes a medium and how do I know if I’m one. But I posted it on the wrong community, I deleted it immediately and thought nothing of it, until I heard a voice in my head say “ ask it again, ask the question again.”

We all know since Episode 2 came out, Jax has become extremely controversial. With some people even calling him evil. Jax is a bad person and definitely not someone you would like to know in real life, but is he really the heartless monster that people think he is? Eh- I don’t think so. As I said, he is a terrible person, Episode 2 confirmed that. But look at it from a video game perspective, which is what TADC really is (in the lore).
Throwing Pomni out of a moving truck: Perhaps in Jax’s perspective, that since they are now video game characters, they can’t die or be badly injured. Gooseworx confirmed that while they still feel pain, they don’t feel it as much as an ordinary human. Like with Kinger getting knives stuck in his head. Maybe a reason (other than being a dickhead) is because since it is all a video game, the damage is never lasting and Caine can just fix them up like he did with Ragatha.
Violence against the NPCs: Since the NPCs are obviously not real people, there would not be any real damage done (except emotional) Caine could just reset everything, like Ragatha says he sometimes reuses NPCs. It’s like when you play a video game. Some players just go around causing chaos, but it can always be reset.
Reaction to abstraction: He clearly has a different mindset on abstraction since it is the only real threat.
Since the world they live in is just a video game with only one threat, maybe it could have made him seem like a nihilistic sociopath, since no matter how much damage he does, it can be undone.

I’m 21M who’s currently dating my girlfriend who’s 20 F for about year and a half now. The past months been rocky and the relationship seems to come to a slow, she’s going through some personal stuff and I tried to stay away from it but it started to affect the relationship heavily. She has become less affectionate and just in her own world it seems, we call every day, see each other, etcs but she’s just not her anymore. Lately she’s been telling me about how she hates everyone in her life and wishes to be alone, and how she lost her best friend. I tried to understand her but it’s hard to leave her alone when she’s like this, and I crave the affections that I been lacking for the past 2 months. I tried to give her a hand but she refuses it and tells me to ignore it and forget it’s even there, for me to stop caring, it’s hard to not care about someone I love dearly and so I try and try to communicate with her. I can’t really help someone who doesn’t want to be help yet I really want to. I tried to strike up conversations, ask her out on dates to do some activities, go on walks, movies, and other activities to get her minds off it but every time I do, she says No. It suck because we used to be so energetic and such, hell she doesn’t show random act of affections like she used to anymore, no more random “I love you,” wanting to call me every second of the day, wanting to see me everyday, and many more stuff, I understand she’s going through a tough time but I still want to know and be reassured that she still cares for the relationship and me, a random I love you would make my day honestly but I haven’t got that since forever now. Everytime we’re on the phone she scrolls on tiktok or watches youtube, I tried and asked her to talk to me about anything but she just says she doesn’t want to, she’s annoyed, tired, upset at the world and I feel like I’m just adding more fuel to it. It’s every day now that I find it mentally draining, I feel as if every texts or words I send or say to her is going to annoy her, I feel like I’m a nuisance for asking for simple things in a relationship. I don’t want to break up with her but I don’t want to deal with this anymore either, I want to find ways to make it better. I texted her best friend about it and they called all last night but this morning her mood is still the same, she said they had fun though a little bit bored but overall better than before. Maybe I’m looking for a complete 180 in a day, right back to when we were happy and energetic. I understand changes are slow but the way she was this morning, makes me think that it’s still going downhill. I feel scared for her, our relationship, and me, I feel like this is putting our relationship in jeopardy and that I’m just another burden to carry around. How can I overcome this obstacle with her without it leading to a break up? Please keep in mind I already tried to confront the issue and so I’m looking for another way to confront the issue with actions instead of words.
TL;DR! I’m a 21-year-old guy currently dating my 20-year-old girlfriend for about a year and a half now. Recently, our relationship has hit a rough patch as she's dealing with personal issues that have caused her to become distant and less affectionate. Despite my efforts to support her, she's been pushing me away and expressing a desire to be alone. I've tried to engage her in activities and conversations to distract her, but she consistently rejects my attempts. I miss the affection and love we used to share, and feel drained by the strain on our relationship. I want to find a way to improve things without resorting to a breakup, but I'm unsure of how to proceed. If you have any suggestions on how I can address this situation through actions rather than words, I would greatly appreciate it.

Should someone involved in the inner running of Edgenuity be reading this, know that it is not mindless criticism. I have some things I do genuinely like and prefer about your site, which I mention. Consider reading, if you much care for the opinions of a highschool senior about to graduate.
I get why they want students to 'actually learn' and stuff, but they've been going super hard to crack down on userscripts and extensions. I know a lot of people used scripts to pull them through classes, but I mostly had them for QoL (Quality-of-Life, for you non-whippersnappers) changes that I have a hard time working without, such as skipping the little audio bits on assignments and auto-advancing through completed segments and videos.
I honestly wouldn't be so upset about the total blocking of scripts if these changes were implemented into Edgenuity itself, though I doubt they'd even consider that. I do my own work, answer the questions myself, write my own essays, etc.
From the looks of it (at least from the way Edgenuity has been systematically blocking userscripts before this 'academic integrity' block), someone with involvement in the development and operation of the site occasionally references this subreddit to see what they need to block. Maybe one of them will read this. Like I said, I understand wanting students to actually retain information from their classes.
I do really appreciate how Edgenuity lets me work on my own time and keeps all my work in one place, but I definitely think that the site and service as a whole could stand to be improved. A fair bit of the content is outdated (in that it's more than 5-10 years old, by the looks of it), but of course I know that updating all of these classes would be expensive and largely redundant since most of the information still holds up.
My biggest grievance is, like I mentioned before, just how slow the work gets when small QoL alterations are missing that I had added via userscript. It moves from manageable to an absolute slog when I have to listen to the beginning and end audio clips (that really add nothing of value, might I add, as a majority of them just say 'read the question and answer' which is... obvious) and manually click through the videos. This is fine when there are 2-4 segments, but it can get annoying quickly, especially when I've seen some 'Direct Instruction' assignments have upwards of 15 segments, a majority of which are videos that are only 2-3 minutes long.
Now, maybe I haven't been the most integrous student. Maybe I've used Brainly for a few answers, but (although I respect the teachers wholly) I cannot for the life of me sit through these lecture videos and actually listen to gather information myself.
I understand that reading through a scripted curriculum isn't exactly thrilling, and it's nearly impossible to engage with content when the teacher treats their subject matter with the same love, care, and attention as the man that throws bags into the rear of a garbage truck (so to say, without much care at all).
Also, might I add in regard to literature-based classes, so much of it is very linear despite literature and writing being one of the most varied and subjective subjects in education. Much of these classes asks questions based on interpretations of writing, as if there are single correct interpretations of something that is, notoriously, not a subject with objective answers.
I myself am not autistic, though I occasionally have issues discerning meaning and tone through text (and I can imagine this is only amplified for people who ARE on the spectrum of autism) which makes classes revolving around reading and interpreting literature very difficult for me. Getting an answer wrong simply because I have a different interpretation or understanding of a text is infuriating.
I do not have solely negative feelings for Edgenuity. As I mentioned before, I appreciate having all of my schoolwork in one place and in order (I used to lose assignments quite often when I attended physical school). I appreciate how flexible it allows my schedule to be, especially as a highschool senior who is actively studying for my permit and is taking on quite a few new responsibilities as I turn 18 soon.
Edgenuity is to school what watching a movie at home is as opposed to in a theater, because of how much more control over your situation that it offers. Need to go to the bathroom? No teacher to ask, you're in your own home. Hungry? It's lunch time all the time, and anything's on the menu. Need a break? Take it, and pick up where you left off on your work. I do greatly appreciate this.
I don't expect Edgenuity to remove the block on extensions and userscript usage, but a few small additions purely for QoL would make it a vastly better experience, at least for myself. Who knows? Maybe I'm alone with how I feel about Edgenuity.
Whether you're a student or staff (which I doubt will've read this), I'd like to hear your input on the state of things.
The school year is wrapping up (for me, atleast, I'm unsure if it differs for other people) and I hope all of you, even the ones super behind and in the educational dumps, can push through and make this your year.
To all my fellow seniors, the class of 2024, we made it. Through hard work, stress, pandemics, and all the other crazy shit that's been going on for the past 12-13 years of our lives, we've made it. Hopefully you all feel as accomplished as you should.

So I had this dreams about a black cat who was in my estranged grandparents house. And for some reason I was terrified of him.
Which is very weird because I love cats. I have 2 cats myself, one of them is black actually. But the black cat in my dream was not mine. Also at first there was no reasons to be scared of him, he looked normal and not threatening.
But still « dream me » was horrified by his simple presence. I could feel myself paralysed by fear the first time I laid eyes on him.
The cat was coming to me slowly but surely. The moment he was in my reach I try to kill him. The blow should have been fatal, I struck a dagger straight to his neck, but as if nothing happened he continues to walk. The only difference was blood pouring from his neck. So I kept trying to kill him. He kept refusing to die and slowly walk to me without a sound. The only difference was the evidences of my brutality. He was missing a eye, his entrails where showing and one his legs was skinned.
I was woke up by fear,it’s like I was so afraid I had a small heart attack. And what’s weird I usually forget my dreams or my nightmare when I woke up. But I can’t seem to forget this one.
So I don’t know… seems somewhat meaningful. What should I make of it do you think? Or maybe I make something out of nothing?

Exotic Perk: Golden Remnant
This weapon upon first draw fires one massive damage golden gun shot as long as golden gun is equipped costing the weapons full magazine, strong against barrier and unstoppable champions. After firing this single shot, reload speed is reduced by 65% (meaning it takes longer to reload) and the next magazine applies the Light Burnout de-buff on the wielder. Killing an enemy with Golden Remnant grants a medium amount of super energy, stronger enemies give more super and grenade energy, up to 35%, Guardians in the crucible count as 5% and guardians with their super active count as 7.5% as long as your super bar is under 75%. After casting your super, you may use this ability again by holding 'R' while the gun is at a full magazine. Dying does not allow the ability to be used again. If golden gun is not equipped than this this weapons exotic perk is basically useless.
Light Burnout: De-buff
The magazine after the high powered Golden Remnant shot is fired does 30% less damage to rank-and-file enemies, 25% less damage to powerful enemies, and 15% less damage to Bosses, Yellow bar enemies and Guardians. No damage drop-off for guardians with their super active. Switching weapons takes slightly longer as well, at a 5% time increase. this also creates a major decrease to impact and stability and other deficits to other stats. THIS EFFECT ONLY HAPPENS FOR ONE MAGAZINE.
Special Perk 2: Rekindling Spirit
If the Golden Remnant shot misses a target that shot is refunded at the same strength.
Special Perk 3: Lighting the Fire
This weapon does a medium amount of bonus damage to fallen, scorn, hive and taken with a solar de-buff on them. up to 45% bonus damage. This weapon provides a extremely large explosion if the final shot of a magazine without the Light burnout effect defeats a powerful enemy spreading scorch across a large area.
Catalyst:
Acquired through Master level or higher nightfall's.
Catalyst ability: Splitting Eruption
The initial single strong golden remnant shot turns into two half Golden remnant powered shots that spread scorch to targets in a short radius around where the shot was fired and gives the wielder radiant for a short duration after a final blow. Stunning a champion with this weapon creates an additional Golden remnant shot.
Weapon Description:
"It all comes down to how much the traveler likes you and how much you appreciate its gifts" - Zavala
Whoever wielded this weapon before the guardian was deeply invested in the intricacies of the Shard of the Traveler that was used during the Red War to fight back against the cabal. It seems as though word got out about his research and when the cabal caught wind, they came for him. Not much on this in the archives either, must have been a relatively unknown guardian, why wouldn't they contact us after we scurried to the farm? So many unanswered questions. Its unfortunate that he ended up losing his ghost and burning up with the almighty. The weapon schematics we recovered from his corpse intrigue me though, there's.. a piece of the shard on here! - Zavala
Range: 55
Impact: 100 on initial shot, 70 Normal, and 45 with Light Burnout
Stability: 40 normal, 25 with light burnout
Handling: 30
Reload Speed: 58 normal, 20 After Golden Remnant
Aim Assist: 95 with Golden Remnant 75 Normal, 60 with Light-Burnout
Recoil Direction: 80 Normal, 65 with Light-Burnout
Magazine Size: 1 with base Golden Remnant, 10 Normal Hand Cannon shots
Air Effectiveness: 28 Normal, 18 with Light Burnout
How to acquire weapon:
This weapon can be collected through a series of 6 quest steps involving,

1. Gather hand cannon and solar super data across the system (Zavala)

25 Guardian super kills
150 Hand cannon kills

1. Complete Nightfall's on "Master" Difficulty with an exotic hand cannon equipped. Grandmaster Nightfall's count as 2. Hero nightfall's count as 0.05 and Solo Legend Nightfall's counts as 0.5 Legend Nightfall's with a fireteam count as 0.1.

2 strikes completed

1. Complete the "Solar Pathway" Exotic Quest on Mars

Defeat "Kargen, the reimagined"
Quest Completed 1 Potential Reward: (Unique Exotic armor)
rewards, Golden Core (NOT A USABLE WEAPON, TAKES UP A KINETIC INVENTORY SLOT)

1. Visit the enclave on mars and present it your findings

Enclave Visited
Rewards: Worn out weapon history books and Next quest step

1. Complete the "Radiant Descendant" Exotic Dungeon on earth: Almighty Crash Site

Defeat "Visage of Rhulk" and "Visage of Nezarec"
Defeat "Sal'aurc, Almighty Champion of the witness"
Rewards: Cosmological Handle (Weapon schematic) REPLACES GOLDEN CORE

1. Meet Zavala at the Enclave on mars and begin the attunement process

Zavala Visited
Rewards: Prodigal Flare
"Radiant Descendant"
It looks like the witnesses troops have scooped up the burnt remnants of the almighty and turned it into their new war bunker, might be a good idea to remove this corruption before they decide to plan their assault on the last city.
On arrival, Defense systems activate.
1st encounter: ENTER THE MINDSCAPE (Defeat the Visage of Rhulk) Potential Reward: Sniper Rifle or Helmet
2nd Encounter: Destroy The Weapon. Reward: Class item or chest piece
3rd Encounter: ENTER THE MINDSCAPE (Defeat Visage of Nezarec) Potential Reward: Hand Cannon or Leg armor
4th Encounter: Unlock the door: SURVIVE 5 minutes. Potential Rewards: Linear Fusion Rifle or Auto Rifle
5th Encounter: Prove your worth, Summon and defeat Sal'aurc. Potential Rewards: Exotic Engram x2 or Grenade Launcher, Rocket Launcher or Scout Rifle

Detective Pierce and his colleague Morrison walked down the dark hall to the interrogation room where Seminarian Crawford Rossi awaited them.

"Good afternoon, Mr. Crawford Rossi." Pierce greeted as he walked inside taking a seat.

Rossi cradled a foam coffee cup in his hands looking up at them with dark circles under his eyes "Good evening." he mumbled.

"I want to talk to you about what happened to Father Pesci." Pierce began opening a case file he brought with him.

"Father Pesci..." Rossi spoke softly keeping his head down before looking at both detectives "He wasn't a bad man."

Morrison nods in understanding “We just need to hear your side of the story.”

Rossi’s shoulders went lax, and he leaned back looking up at the dim light hanging above them.

“It was the day before Easter Sunday. We were setting things up and there was this weird box among the decorations.” he began rubbing his hands together and looked back at the detectives.

“A weird box?” Pierce questioned.

Rossi nods “I know it seems strange but…” he paused biting his bottom lip “This box didn’t belong to the church. When I took it to Father Pesci, he said it was probably donated by someone.”

Morrison nodded and jotted down notes in his notepad “What did this box look like?”

The Seminarian began describing to them the box he had found. It was a medium ornate box the baby blue and white polka dot wrapping paper was weathered as if it had been left in the sun all day. The white ribbon was frayed and splotched with tiny specks of red. The box felt so heavy in his hands.

“Did you ever open this box?” Pierce asked.

Rossi shook his head “N-no it felt wrong.”

“So, an old gift felt wrong to you?” Morrison scoffed shaking his head.

“Since it was unopened” Rossi wrung his hands together “I put it in Father Pesci’s office that morning and by the evening it was open” the Seminarian paused looking up at the detectives.

“What of Father Pesci?” Pierce questioned “What did he find inside that box?”

Rossi sat back in his chair rubbing his hands onto his pants “He was in the corner of his office mumbling to himself and the box…” he took a deep breath and exhaled “Oozed a brownish red onto his desk.”

During the service that evening Father Pesci will have murdered an entire congregation. Their heads placed onto their laps and hands wired together in prayer. Pesci himself disappeared after leaving symbols written in blood all over the walls behind the podium. The gift box was missing and nowhere to be found along with one of the hearses.

“I’m sure the entire event has been quite traumatic for you. Since you were the one to find the service in such a grim state” said Pierce giving Rossi a knowing smile trying to give the man some comfort.

“Detectives” the Seminarian began licking his lips “Will you be able to find the father before he hurts more people?” he leaned forward looking them both in the eyes.

“Of course we’ll find him.” Morrison was confident.

Pierce wanted to relay the same energy but according to the reports they had gotten back the hearse that Father Pesci had taken was found abandoned in the next town. Which means from there the possessed Pesci walked the rest of the way to his destination.

He did however have an idea where the Father was heading. There was an older case where a clown was attending a child’s birthday party. Or what was supposed to be. When the professional entertainer got to the house he was greeted by a cult. This cult did unspeakable things to this man using him in a ritual for whatever god they worshipped. Then placed his head into the very box that he had brought the birthday cake in.

A medium box with baby blue wrapping paper with white polka dots and a white ribbon on top.

A possessed Father Pesci was heading to the place where it all started. The place where that thing that now wore him like a suit was brought into this world. Pierce looked over at Morrison who furrowed his brow.

“Thank you, Mr. Crawford Rossi we will contact, you when we find Father Pesci.” Pierce assured him who nodded anxiously looking around before getting up to leave the room.

Rossi solemnly nodded getting up from his chair. As he walked to the door to exit the interrogation room he looked back at Morrison and Pierce. “There was something else I need to mention” he spoke low making the detectives to strain their ears to listen “Before I found Father Pesci he was talking to someone. A voice I never heard before, but it filled me full of dread.”

“Why are you telling us this now?” inquired Morrison
Rossi held his hands in front of him in a silent prayer “Because I don’t think I should have heard what they were talking about.”

Pierce scratched his chin “Can you tell us what was said?”

Rossi shook his head “No…no if I do. IT will come for me next.”

The ‘it’ he was referring to must have been whatever had possessed Father Pesci. He left the room leaving both detectives to go over the information they had gathered. Morrison flipped through his notes and clicked his tongue.

“What are we even supposed to do with any of this?” he scoffed motioning to the notepad in his hand.

“Don’t worry we have plenty of information to go off. Besides I know where we will find Father Pesci and hopefully, we will arrive in time.” answered Pierce who stood up first and headed to the door.

Morrison scratched his head following behind his coworker “I sure hope you’re right.”

Honestly even Pierce himself hoped he was right too because they had a long car ride ahead of them and had to make sure they brought the proper equipment with them. They had a Priest to exercise after all.

Synopsis:
Carlos was an ordinary software engineer on Earth, up until he died and found himself in a fantasy world of dungeons, magic, and adventure. This new world offers many fascinating possibilities, but it's unfortunate that the skills he spent much of his life developing will be useless because they don't have computers.
Wait, why does this spell incantation read like a computer program's source code? Magic is programming?
___
Here we go with book 2!
<< First < Previous Next > (RR) or Next > (Patreon)
Carlos lounged comfortably on one of the mayor's fancy sofas. At 23 years old with a healthy body he really didn't need cushioned upholstery, but he liked how it felt. Honestly, he was probably more comfortable with high quality furniture than someone of his relatively low-income background should be in this world. Spoiled by the mass production factories of modern Earth, I suppose. All of this stuff here is probably handmade. Er, make that definitely handmade. Unless they have magic factories I haven't heard about, or something. He mentally shrugged. There was no point trying to change his attitudes toward furniture now. While this world might have higher prices for a lot of things than he was used to, he was also a lot richer than he was used to thanks to having become a noble lord. People would expect him to treat fine furniture as cheap because of his station.
I might have the physical habits of a couch potato, but at least I don't look like one. Too skinny. Not as skinny as Amber, though. He smiled as he watched the young woman next to him on the sofa continue animatedly expounding on their recent adventures together. She was lanky, with few curves to speak of and spindly limbs, far from any conventional picture of feminine beauty. Her hair, a slightly lighter shade of brown than his own, was cropped short. He thought she was 18 or 19 years old, but wasn't sure. Have I really never asked her age before? ... Would that be a rude question here? Regardless of her age, she had grown her confidence a lot since their first meeting a few weeks ago. She'd found her footing in a new life that she'd seized with utter determination, and he saw no sign of the shyness that she'd first greeted him with. The way her potential was finally blooming was beautiful to watch.
Carlos turned his gaze to the sofa across from them and carefully held back from laughing at the expressions Trinlen was making as Amber wrapped up explaining the events and developments they'd gone through since their introduction to him at the Royal Mage Academy. Carlos had contributed a fair amount to the explanation at first, but Amber had taken to it with enthusiasm when she arrived, and he could tell she was enjoying it. The young man in front of them, newly graduated from said academy, was on the edge of his seat and leaning forward, hanging attentively on every word. His casual attire, plain and made of cheap materials, looked thoroughly out of place on the finely embroidered velvet of the sofa, but he'd shown no sign of even noticing the finery around him. Excitement warred for control of his face with surprise, disbelief, envy, and dismay.
Amber finished her impromptu monologue, and Trinlen slowly schooled his face into a neutral expression. His voice was tense and tightly controlled. "So... In short, you're telling me that in the mere two weeks since you met me, you discovered a mana-poaching conspiracy of nobles, were abducted right under the noses of two royal guards without them even noticing, absorbed mana so fast that you gained 6 levels in a day and a half - so unfair, by the way - somehow learned an obscure portal spell from just its name and description, found evidence of a conspiracy against the Crown, and personally met a princess." He paused, then threw his hands up as he wailed in frustration and disappointment. "And I missed it!?"
Carlos threw back his head and burst out laughing. He couldn't help it. Trinlen just sounded so much like a little kid who'd barely missed out on a candy store giving away its entire stock for free. It was such an incredible light-hearted contrast with how everyone else viewed these same events that the sheer ridiculousness of it was overwhelming. Amber joined the laughter a moment later, shaking her head in amused disbelief, and after a few more seconds Trinlen started chuckling too.
Carlos's laughter eventually trailed off, and he took a deep breath to settle down. "Thanks, Trinlen. It's been a very stressful two weeks, and laughing like that helped release a lot of it. Feels good. Anyway, what have you been up to? I thought you would take a whole month to graduate?"
"Technically I only said 'next month', not that it would be at the same point in the month. But yes, this is earlier than I expected. The normal graduation ceremony is still a week and a half away." Trinlen shrugged. "They didn't explain the reasons, but after what you said I'm guessing your meeting with the princess prompted her to do something. The vice headmaster called me to his office yesterday morning, a few teachers grilled me on my classwork, and they declared I'd passed my exams. Then they told me to pack because I'd be teleported to my new employers the next day, and here I am." He sighed. "Hmph. Now I won't get to humiliate Norla in front of the whole academy when she gives her speech." Then he perked up and grinned widely. "But it sounds like you two are going to be so much fun that I'll get over it in no time!"
"I'm not sure if I agree with your idea of fun, Trinlen, but if it motivates you to help us more then that's good enough for me." Carlos chuckled again. "Anyway, do you need some time to get settled in? You might need to think about lesson plans for us too. We don't need just catalogues of incantations to learn anymore, at least not for simple ones, but I believe you learned other things in the academy too. You mentioned creating your own spells, as I recall."
Trinlen nodded. "I did mention that, yes. I'm guessing your lack of need for a catalogue is because of your newfound ability to somehow pull entire incantations from thin air? You'll have to at least tell me about the limitations of that so I'll know what I still need to teach you, but yeah, there are other things. For one thing, there's your sloppy terminology! Why does no one outside of the academy care about properly distinguishing between the states of mana? Is it really that hard to understand that calling aether, mana, and essence all by the same term obscures your meaning and often causes confusion? Or are people so stupid that they can't even understand the difference?"
Carlos blinked and exchanged a look with Amber. His comprehension aid informed him about the distinction the instant Trinlen spoke the terms. That would have been nice to know earlier. The comprehension aid is a house secret, so we should let him explain. "At least for us, it's just ignorance. I don't think I've even heard the other two terms you mentioned, and certainly no one ever explained them. So, what is the difference?"
Trinlen paused, cocked his head for a moment, and slowly deflated after his impassioned rant. "Yeah, okay, that's fair. I don't think I ever heard about it before going to the academy either." He sat up straight. "Aether is what you've been calling ambient mana. It's thin like air, and it's everywhere. Its only use is converting it to mana or essence. Mana, using the term with proper precision, is thicker but still fluid like water. It exists primarily in people or creatures and is used as fuel to supply power for spells and magical effects. Essence is hard and solid. It is the material that soul structures are made of, as well as the forms of active spells and enchantments. Am I clear so far?"
Amber answered first. "Yes, I'm familiar with each of the forms you described. I have questions about more details - so many questions - but you should get properly settled in, and maybe eat lunch, before we really get down to it. Have you spoken with Mayor Stelras yet? Do you have lodging sorted out?"
"I went by his office first. He's having someone take my luggage to an inn. The Adventurer's Haven, I think? He said something about a 'low-value target' and having an empty suite already booked." Trinlen's eyes widened. "Waaait a minute. Is he putting me in the room you two were abducted from?"
Carlos shrugged. "Sounds like it."
"Nice! Think there'll be any evidence left of how it was done?"
"Haha! Probably not by this point, but you're welcome to look. Now go get unpacked, eat a meal, and start planning your lessons for us. I'm glad you're here, but we have some other things to do too."
Trinlen nodded and stood up. "Sure. I'll be back before you miss me."
Carlos waved as Trinlen sauntered out the door. He and Amber sat in companionable silence for a while as he felt the mana - or essence? - of Trinlen's soul moving off into the distance. "Well. That was interesting. It's good to have him, but I was expecting a bit more time to think and plan before he'd get here."
"Yeah." Amber stretched and then leaned back into the sofa's cushions, luxuriating in their soft firmness. "So, how much are we going to tell him? How useful will his knowledge even be for us, now that we have, what did you call it, the reference documentation? That bit about the states of mana is good to know, but is it really relevant and important, and how much more can there be that's not in the documentation?"
"Be careful talking about that out loud, remember?" Carlos relaxed and draped his arms across the sofa's back as he focused his mind on their mental bond through Purple, their friendly dungeon core. [On Earth, we made many languages similar to the language of incantations, and we had the reference documentation for all of them. We even published that documentation free for everyone to have. Teachers for those languages were still useful, and even critically important for many people. Having access to knowledge doesn't mean you automatically understand how to properly apply it. There may be related knowledge we have no idea even exists. There could be techniques and patterns for how to use the language that are simply outside the scope of the documentation. Perhaps most importantly, a teacher can use their experience to notice a student's mistakes and correct them before they become problems.]
[Hmm.] Amber bit her lip, thinking. [Like how I knew about making soul structures and synergies between them, but had no idea about the importance of being able to examine and fix them, I suppose.]
Carlos nodded. [Yeah. And that's a really simple example. I know some that are a lot more complex, though I'm not sure how many of them are even applicable for incantations. Inversion of control, dependency injection, factory patterns...] He shook his head. [Just the context knowledge needed to be able to fully understand those could take days or weeks to teach well enough for you to use them. I could maybe explain the basic ideas faster with some simplified analogies, but that would lose so many details that I doubt it would still be useful.]
Amber paused. [... Even my comprehension aid is baffled by the terms you just said. It translated the individual words that you said, but all I got for the phrases is a confusing jumble.] She chuckled. [Anyway, I concede the point. Trinlen will still be able to teach us important and useful things. We still need to decide what secrets to share with him.]
[A lot depends on how good he is at keeping secrets. We don't actually know him all that well yet. He's certainly fun, and he seems clever, but for assessing his integrity we're leaning pretty hard on just a janitor vouching for him.] Carlos frowned in thought. [In order for him to do his job, he needs to know that we can only "pull an entire incantation from thin air" if it's a simple one. He does not need to know the full details of help, however, and most certainly does not need to learn to use it himself. That secret is a very sensitive one, where even just letting too much knowledge of it spread would lose us a major advantage.]
[Definitely. No casting help where he can hear it, and don't say anything about it that's not directly relevant for his teaching, either. Not until he's earned our full trust.] Amber lapsed into silent consideration. [We should introduce him to Purple. We'll kind of have to at some point anyway, and the really valuable thing there is Purple himself, not just the knowledge of his existence.]
Carlos nodded. [True. I think that probably is the least sensitive of our house secrets, and being able to call him through a bond with Purple would be useful.] He chuckled. [And maybe his cleverness will end up producing some good ideas for Purple to use. See if he can find a more productive outlet than pranks for his creativity. And then... If he keeps that secret well enough for long enough, we can consider trusting him with more secrets.]
Amber sent back wordless agreement.
Carlos started sitting up, lifting himself out of the comfortable cushions. "Well, we should get some food ourselves, too. And maybe introduce Trinlen to everyone else along with Purple." He stood up and spotted a letter he'd set aside when Trinlen arrived. "Oh yeah, and what do you think we should do about Kindar?"
"Wait, what's this about Kindar?"
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I (46M) have not been with anyone for 25 years. I haven’t been in jail (I keep getting asked this when I reveal that fact – I just joke that I’m not that cool), I just kinda got into a grind of 60+ hour weeks as an IT manager and very rarely went out to meet people, never took vacations, and just made work my life for the last two plus decades.
I changed jobs, work a much less stressful job and now I have time and money, so I tried dating off and on a bit. I realized I’m lacking a few skills as I do not know how to date. I’m really confused and I don’t understand how to navigate these situations.
My current steps are:
1. Talk over the app a bit
2. Go out for coffee
3. Send a text message after to ask if they got home safe and thank them for coming out to meet me.
4. Sometimes we keep chatting over the app (other times it’s radio silence, or “we’re not a good match”, which I appreciate more than radio silence)
5. She gives me her phone number
6. ???? (I don’t know what to do from here!!!!)
In the past once I get to step 5 (they give me their phone number...I have never asked for it because I want to respect boundaries and don't want to make anyone uncomfortable) I text a few times and ask if they'd like to go somewhere nicer than for just coffee (my treat). They tell me they met someone, and it's going really well and they want to explore that. If this happened once, I'd say "that's funny" and move on, but it's happened 10 times now.
Why did the give me their phone number if they met someone and it's going really well? I had thought if you give someone your phone number it's because you like them and want to hear from them. Apparently this is not the case. I thought that reaching 40 meant people would be direct about what they wanted.
I feel like I must be doing something wrong or missing a step that I'm expected to do once I have their number. What do I do? Once is an anomaly, 10 times with the common factor being me means I'm doing something wrong statistically.
I would love to know step six and beyond. I don’t want to push and overstep boundaries, definitely don’t want to be around someone who doesn’t want me around, but I feel like there’s a step that I’m missing where I’m failing some sort of litmus test.
I’m taking a break from dating for a bit as I need to figure out what I'm doing wrong and figure out a plan for the rest of the steps (also it kinda hurts and I need a breather so I can stay positive). I know other people can do this so naturally but I'm not even sure what it is that I'm trying to do. I never really learned how to date and I figured I could "learn by doing" but I don't seem to be learning anything and I'm just confused.
If anyone has any advice (men or women) I would really appreciate it. I’m trying to figure this out but I feel like I’m missing some vital information. Years in IT have taught me that some problems just need another perspective.

I have known this person since I was 12 yo, she always have been controling and childish like being upset at me for having others friends and not hangout with her as much, so we fought a lot and with time I got feed up with her behavior and I started to cut her of, but everytime we stop talking for months she cames back again everytime, even if I caused a big problem that's unforgivable she will always come back to my life with one way or other. In the first year of high school I cut off all my friends including her cuz I was dealing with depression, so we didn't talk for the all high school period, and she didn't try to comeback cuz I treated her very bad just to make sure that she won't comeback in my life again, but soon after graduating she forgot everything and be friended me again and at the time I was feeling guilty about the way I treated her so I allowed it, and I thought that things maybe changed and she wouldn't use me again or be upset about anything I do or I say.
We were alright, but I noticed that she only talk or come visit me when she needs something and she never attempt to ask about me or how I am without having a reason that benefits her, even if she knew that I'm dealing with something she never asks except if she needed something or someone to talk to about her problems.
A week ago, she visited me talking to talk about one of her ex's, they broke up two years ago, but she told me that she missed him, and asked me to message him just to know if there is someone in his life, and because I don't know him personally I refused hardly and I tried to convince her to not think about him anymore cuz it's not healthy for her, but she got upset at me and said that I'm not a good friend and if I asked to do so she will do it without question (note: I have never asked anything from her ever, accept forgiveness for the way I treated her back at the time, cuz to this day I still feel guilty about it), she went home upset and I didn't think much about it cuz that's the right things to do.
Until yesterday, her mom called me asking to visit her urgently, I went and her mom was crying and told me her daughter loss her vision, she blind now. I went to her room and she was in a terrible situation, she was looking at one direction in the room with tears in her eyes, I started talking to her and comforting her, even if it was hard for me cuz I was sad seeing her in that situation. Then her mom taked me a side and told me that the doctor told her that she have a mental problem cuz her eyes is fine so she figured that her ex is the cause of that, cuz the night before she was thinking about him and telling her mom about how he is the perfect one for her and no one's like him and she wish she can have him back, but the mother think other wise so that got her really angry and maybe that what causes her losing her sight. So her mom asked me to talk to him and telling him what happened to her and see how he gonna react to it, if he reacted poorly then she will know that he is bad for her and she will stop think highly of him. First, I was hesitant but she convinced me, and I did (big mistake I know), that ex is their neighbor, so he knows me but not in a personal level I never talk or even looked at him, so when I called him, I said that I'm his ex's friend and I heard that she is blind and if he knows what happened to her exactly cuz I lost contact with her, the poor guy was shocked just as me when I first saw her in room, but he said that he knows nothing and he can't contact her, cuz she blocked him from everything and she acts like she doesn't know him every time they meet eye to eye (note: he only know that I'm her friend but he doesn't know which friend) at the end he told me if he heard something he will tell me and I should do so too, cuz he is worried about her. Hearing that she was happy and she told me that I should tell her everything cuz he will definitely message me .
I went home feeling terrible about her situation and what I have done, at night he messaged me asking if there is any news and I told him that I talked to her mother and what the doctor said to her, he said he have no way to talk to her but he will be praying for her. After she called me at 1am asking if he called or anything and I told her what he said and she was upset saying that I should have convinced him to visit her instead and I quote " I did all of this just to make him talk to me and you didn't try to convince him to do so" even if I tried by saying that it's alright to talk to her mom cuz they are neighbors.
I didn't slept all night think about the situation and I may have been played by her and her mom, or maybe her mom is played by her too cuz she is the only child so her mom can't say NO. Maybe she is fooling everyone just to get her ex's attention, and I feel super bad for myself, her mom and ex, but I'm afraid that she may be really blind and I'm overthinking it, but in the other hand if I woke up blind my only concern will be my health not other people and I won't ask anyone to do something like this ever, that what make me feel like she is lying at us and we all being manipulated by her.
While writing this she called me, she still didn't get her vision back and she asked me not to talk to him until she asks me to, and to not delete my conversation with him.
I know I'm a bad person for doing what I have done, I feel terrible about the situation, and I wish to find a way to cut her from my life, cuz she traumatized me everytime, and I tried everything in power but she always come back, but what if she lost her sight for real and by doing so I will be more bad, cuz I won't be happy if my friends left me when I have a health condition. I don't know what to do anymore.

Im bored. Heres a silly idea to dislike.

Subclass Themes

With the darkness subclasses being based on mental states, I took the ideology of the id, ego, and super ego to be the darkness elements. I took the ego to be stasis as you are forcing your will into reality and overriding the will of others. I understood the superego to be strand. Understanding the world around you, the complexity and the conections of it all, the restrictions and necessity of reality. That leaves the id. Desires and instinct. Fantasies and dreams. Compulsions.
Another theme that had to be included was that of opposition. Strand is about creation and void is about absence. Solar and stasis, while much more complicated than fire and ice, do oppose each other in more meaningful ways. Arc is all about mobility, energy, adapting, and change. The opposite would be complacency. Sloth. Giving in to your desires.
The last requirements would be to have anti-barrier perks and anti-overload perks. This was the simplest and could be flavored in any which way, with anti barrier having some sort of buff, and anti overload having some sort of debuff.
With this I introduce Soul, a form of darkness that takes the shape of a dark red liquid. Names could all use some work.

Verbs

Seethe (Debuff): Soul seeps into enemies minds revealing their anger. Form of cc that has non-boss units attack nearby enemies. Combatants affected cant discern between friend or foe. Enemy guardians afflicted have friendly fire enabled and increased recoil. Reticles will slowly shift towards allies within ? meters.
Despair (Debuff): Soul clouds your head. Prevents any health gain during affliction. Enemies take damage over time. Ends with a burst of damage. Strong against overloads.
Wrath (Buff): Release your inner fury. Weapons are empowered dealing increased damage based on targets missing health. Capped at 35%. Strong against Barrier champions.
Envy (Buff): Enemy accuracy towards buffed targets is reduced based on distance. Closer enemies are more likely to miss shots. Melee damage received is reduced.
Harrow (Class Pickup): Soul matter coalesces on the floor in large red pools after killing debuffed targets. Enemies standing on Harrow take minor damage. Interacts with aspects and fragments. Armor charge works off time spent on Harrow.

Disclaimer

I was more focused on ideology. I have yet to refine ideas but aspects, melees, and supers allow for a lot of creativity of which i am lacking atm. If you have any suggestions, changes or anything let me know. Change the verbs or the whole damn thing, just want any sort of discussion. No its not serious nor do I think there is any chance of this.

Hunter

Mind Tap (Melee): Throw an ice pick. Headshots cause targets to Seethe. Bodyshots cause Despair.
Merciless (Aspect): While Wrathful heal for a very small portion of the damage dealt to Despairing targets. Despair will spread between close enemies.
Paranoia (Aspect): Dodging while standing on Harrow puddles lets the hunter dissolve into Soul matter becoming untargetable, gain heavy damage resist, and be able to move through units. While in Paranoia gain Wrathful. Gain 200% increased melee regen and movement speed. Offensive actions pull you out. Displayed as large waves moving inside.
Paint it Red (Aspect): Damaging Despairing targets releases Harrow. Has a short cooldown.
Hemophobia (Super): Explode into a massive puddle of Soul matter leaving Harrow around you. Does increased Harrow damage. Light attack throws ice picks that cause despair. Deals more damage to targets on Harrow. Heavy Attack dashes forward dealing light damage. Dodge refreshes on use.

Titan

Menacing Strike(Melee): Summon a massive maw from your hand inflicting Despair in a small aoe. Hits grant Wrath.
Unholy Soul (Aspect): Standing in Harrow puddles slowly provides health and Envy. Kills on Harrow refresh the duration and increase the size of the pool.
Terror (Aspect): Soul kills charge up a meter. When fully charged your next powered melee will deal 3x damage, have much more range, grant damage resistance, and grant Envy for a brief period. Melee charge is separate from the standard (think gunpowder gamble).
Finality (Aspect): Powered melee final blows while Wrathful refresh 90% of melee energy. Using your aerial move will slam down releasing Harrow and refilling active weapons. Costs melee energy.
Sorrow (Super): Whip around chains before tossing them at the target enemy. Enemy erupts in massive damage Despairing all nearby combatants and releasing Harrow. After a delay the target erupts again, taking damage based on the damage taken during the super.

Warlock

Dread (Melee): Shoot forward a cloud, raining and Despairing all enemies hit along the way. At max distance or on large targets the cloud lingers.
Agnosiophobia (Aspect): While grounded; press your air move to vanish, reappearing at a Harrow covered point of your choice. Emerging and departing causes a Despairing and Envious aoe. Large amounts of Harrow are released at the point that you left. Standing on Harrow gives you 100% grenade regen rate.
Mind Flayer (Aspect): Seething lasts longer on enemies. Seething enemies that die near you release parasites that travel to all unaffiliated enemies standing in connected Harrow.
Tides of War (Aspect): Activating melee will release a tsunami of Harrow in an aoe a bit larger than consecration. Enemies hit by the raging wave take massive damage and are Seethed. Wave leaves Harrow in its wake.
Beast Within (Super): Coat yourself in Soul Matter and emerge in a different form. A massive centipede with increased movement speed and trample damage. Light attack stops you, before lunging at enemies. Heavy attack is a massive charged leap. If charged all the way gain distance and release Harrow where you land. Press grenade to spit Despair at enemies

Grenades

Harrow Grenade: Can bounce. On detonation releases Harrow. Enemies hit will leave Harrow in their wake.
Bunkering Grenade: Sticks to surfaces but not enemies. When deployed projects a ring. Allies standing within the ring gain Envy. Enemies within Despair.
Winding Grenade: On hitting an enemy or surface releases 3 bolts, quickly striking the nearest enemies in rage. Enemies hit Seethe.

My bf be on Reddit a lot so hope he doesn’t stumble on this…. But he and nobody understand the anxiety I feel with everything almost everything you can think of scares me and fucks with my anxiety for that reason I hardly ever even go outside…. When I’m out I’m scared acetone is out to get me especially males then I’m short so I’m just more scared… All I ask to try to keep me a little sane is to have his dnd off; he keeps it on for gaming reasons and it just made me cry the other day cause I’m telling him when I’m outside and I can’t reach you for little things it in my head just screams I don’t care if you die outside…. And he’s like well has anything happened no…. And I’m like that’s not point if it does I can’t even text like hey I need help or I’m stranded or I think someone is following me… and he’s like if any of these things happen you should call the cops anyway…. And I’m just like I guess he’s right but it just feels like it screams idc if ur scared or die outside call the cops

Disclaimer:
This post has heavy spoilers to the story of the version 2.2 and maybe to something else. Good luck to read all of this. I yap for Ena and maybe repeat myself little too much. Mentioned characters:
Sunday
Robin
Aventurine
Dreammaster
Bronya
Seele
Cocolia
Mentioned Aeons:
Ena
Xipe
Hooh
Long
Oroboros
Qlipoth
Mentioned organisations:
Beyond the Sky Choir
Astral Express
Family
In loving memory: Ena the Order “The one who transcends the many”
In loving memory of Tazzyrronth the Propagation “The Sand king”
In loving memory of the Great Tatalov “The Garbage King”
So, the original intent behind this post was to create a lot of puns about Order and Sunday (for example something like Golden Order Radagon Sunday, “I will have order” with Sunday and a falling train instead, Sunday working in a delivery and saying that someone’s order was cancelled).
But then I started remembering all parts of Penacony storyline that have fascinated me. And one particular part master stroked me. When Sunday used his “tell the truth or die in 24 hours voice magic” he used not the power of Order, but Harmony – the Path he supposedly deliberately left behind and betrayed.
How can I be so sure, that he didn’t use the power of Order, making it look like the power of Harmony? Well, nor Dr. Ratio, nor Aventurine, nor Welt, nor (most importantly) Robin didn’t notice any sign that the Order was used and that the power on display did in fact belong to Harmony. And mind you, all of them are quite clever, experienced and hard to deceive. And in Aventurine’s conversation with Acheron in the Horizon of existence, Acheron (who as Self-Annihilator isn’t affected by the illusions of Order and can see through them) referred to the brand, used on Aventurine as the “brand of Harmony”. And the last proof is that when Sunday uses this power, he makes a call (or if you are a pun enjoyer like me, “an order”) to Xipe, referring to THEM as “Triple-faced soul”.
So, this was a really long and a roundabout way to prove that even with his supposed devotion to Order, Sunday still remains the Pathstrider of Harmony (and the laws of the HSR universe dictate, that you become a Pathstrider by following a philosophy of a particular Path). While being a Pathstrider of two Paths is not called impossible in the game, and Harmony and Order mostly overlap, there are some key differences between them. It means, that Sunday to some extant still believes in a philosophy of Harmony and is not a complete devotee of Order, how some people could have believed.
So, the goal of this post is to delve on the philosophy of Ena and Harmony through Sunday’s story, words, thoughts and actions. And to make some obnoxious theories, but that’s later.
So, let’s begin!
Ⅰ
In his childhood, Sunday alongside Robin, was called by the Dreammaster “two best interpreters of the Great One”. That means, that as a child, Sunday was extremely close to the philosophy of Harmony.
Let’s remember what Harmony embodies as a philosophy:
“Then, they say, O you who have reached the end, enter into the paradise that envelops all! Join this great choir and feast, listen to the beating of billions upon billions of hearts, holding you in THEIR embrace...”
“To battle the brutality of the laws of the universe, intelligent lifeforms must discard their cowardly selfishness and the differences between individuals, fusing into one singular melody — to have the strong help the weak, and to protect life with death.”
That is what Harmony preaches and Sunday was a follower of this ideology. Harmony preaches selfless people not only helping and uplifting each other to build “the paradise” (a prominent theme in Sunday’s thoughts) bit also welcoming every other willing person. Harmony philosophy is about acceptance, forgiveness, cooperation, that no person is beyond redemption, that in every person has inside of them the force that genuinely cares for others and strives for good. Harmony preaches something like this: “Because if it is possible for every person to become a member of Family’s shared paradise, then we should at lest try to welcome them in it.” That’s why Harmonic Strings (Emanators of Xipe) are not people and are actually manifestations materialized as the responses to the Hive Mind’s demands. It is a seemingly naïve and romantic ideal for the sometimes and indifferent brutal universe of HSR that requires great kindness, compassion, understanding, belief in other people, ability to see the better in other people and uplift them. And Sunday-follower of Order reflects on that:
"When I appeared as a child, my speech, mindset, and soul reflected immaturity and innocence."
"As I grew into adulthood, I left behind my childlike side."
Sunday (as shown in the quest) was a person of great understanding, compassion, and love for other living beings, full of desire to protect them (bird, Robin, other people). He was able to embrace even the worst people if they would show even the slightest glimpse of desire to redeem themselves and change for the better, like people who allegedly sold their own children. It is notable that he both acts as a follower of Harmony and an enforcer of Order conspiracy because of these very character traits. The motivation is the same, just the choice how to act based on this motivation is different between him and Robin because of different experiences.
As the ardent believer of Harmony, the seed of doubt in his mind was planted ironically by the very followers of the Harmony -the Family. And the disillusionment about Harmony also began, when his belief in other people was tested. When asking Xipe to clear his doubts, Sunday asks three questions:
“Who can judge the strong when their power hides their crimes?”
“Who can vouch for the weak when they will pay any price to survive?”
“If "the strong defending the weak" is truly the foundation of paradise, then who is responsible for the suffering and anguish in this wretched world?”
The questions display that the preached Harmony doesn’t work as intended. The extremely hard ideal to follow was exactly too demanding for numerous people who couldn’t stand up to the responsibility that came with upholding it. Also, as displayed both in the main quest of Penacony and in numerous events and side quests, flaws and imperfections of Family(note: of the Family on Penacony) are numerous. We have an entire “Ode to Fool” in the Grand Theatre about internal bloodthirsty war between the Family, where two of the seven families of Penacony ceased to exist. When even Family: those who preach the Odes of Harmony don’t act as they preach, are not harmonious, don’t show compassion and forgiveness, it is extremely hard to still believe in its teachings. And from that, the belief in people starts to slowly crumble as the very belief in a possibility of a paradise preached by the Xipe, is tested.
That is what turns him to Order. The feeling that while the paradise of Harmony is theoretically possible, how much suffering must people experience before it actually arrives. And when will it arrive? And IF it will arrive? These doubts in human inherent desire to change for the better leads to the idea: “And what if they don’t change? Then why take the risks? Why not to create something that guarantees their safety, happiness and protection?” His desire for Order is still born from his love for humanity.
Ⅱ
And while the shift in beliefs did in fact happen, it wasn’t completed and some beliefs in Harmony remain, alongside doubts about the philosophy of Order.
To prove that, let’s remember the Grand Theatre part of the quest (“Everything that Rises Must Converge”).
Before that Dreammaster has a particularly interesting conversation with Sunday. Sunday not only changes their plan, taking Robin’s place in the plan and then he asks Dreammaster why Penacony was the chosen planet to bring “paradise” of the Order. If he was completely convinced, why would he pose these questions?
Sunday several times brings the part of 107,336 souls of the Oak Family in his monologues. Why? Because he uses them to give self-validation to his beliefs. It comes not only from his desire to grant “paradise” to everyone (and this guys as stated dreamed about the paradise of Order), but also from his self-perceived responsibility as the Head of the Oak Family to stand up to wishes and desires of his subordinates, to protect them, and as the man with greatest position among them, to fulfil the hardest task. Because if people he is in charge of follow and support his views, not only it gives him more belief in his set of beliefs(ha), but also gives him even greater responsibility to prove that their faith in him, in Order is not misplaced.
In first two acts he displays before us shortcomings of the Harmony, trying to display himself as the ardent believer of the Order:
In the first act “Ode to Prisoner” he says that the freedom was not really achieved in Penacony’s great Independence War, posing a doubt that the ideal of Harmony even existed in Penacony since the very beginning.
In the second act “Ode to Fool” the theme of not so harmonic Harmony remains. Sunday talks about internal civil war between the Family, that eradicated two of the seven families on Penacony. How “harmonic” it is!
But in the last and most important act “Ode to Order” has a surprisingly different theme, hidden in it.
It is supposedly talking about the future of Penacony, but there is something more if you listen to its content once again:
General: “Without a ruler who would protect the weak and fight back against the tyrants?”
Chansellor: “We must assist each other in protecting the weak, just as we must assist each other in opposing the tyrannical.”
This dialogue argues that the very measures Sunday preaches, are not required for the coexistence and unification are also an option. Case of how differently Order and Harmony solve one problem.
Jester: “Without a ruler, who will make the stars follow their paths, the tides rise and fall, and allow life to grow?”
C: “These things did as they will long before the ruler appeared, just as they will continue to do with rulers gone.”
Where the Order requires an all-mighty divine king, controlling the world (like God-Emperor of Mankind from Warhammer), Harmony simply says that actually such beings are not needed.
Minister: “However, now that we have bid farewell to our ruler. Who shall take their place?”
C: “We no longer require a ruler, for we were originally all rulers who stand above all things.”
Once again, order preaches about the ruler on the top of everything, the one who has all of the rights and makes all of decisions. But harmony doesn’t work that way. Harmony preaches that if every person has equal rights to enter its paradise, then they are essentially equal. Where Order differentiates people and treats them differently according to THEIR criteria, harmony does not as THEY are all-embracing.
The choice of the position of Chansellor as the one giving answers is deliberate. It is another innuendo on differences between Harmony and Order. In Order king takes the power and pushes everyone under his control. Chancellor, as the representation of Harmony in this argument, is a position not a person. He is subject to change, unlike king. Unlike king, Chancellor is chosen among the people, by the people. He serves as one man being the voice of many people, for they have chosen him as a Chancellor because their ideals are the same and thus, they have entrusted him to fulfil their ideals in reality in their stead.
Some people were not satisfied that the arguments were not posed against Sunday by the Astral Express. Well, this entire act serves as a counter to his arguments, showing the point of view of Harmony arguing against the necessity of ideals of Order. Most importantly, they don’t disprove hid arguments completely, but rather pose a possible alternative take on things.
The Clockwork doesn’t work on puppets because they are “satisfied”. But what gives satisfaction: Order or Harmony? In my opinion, Harmony. Remember: in THEIR paradise there is “peace bestowed, sorrows and strife released.”
The “king” in the text obviously refers to Ena the Order, and the last talk from the “Future” in the act is about “final rites” to the king, that there is no need to seek THEIR existence, nor remember THEM. It illustrates the final confusion of Sunday: if Ena didn’t fight back while being consumed, if the philosophy of Harmony prevailed in the confrontation among the Paths, why try to restore the Order?
And after that particular act he chose to reveal to us the finale of Ena’s story. That THEY were banished to oblivion by the united will of the people who defied Order. And THEIR death was praised alongside praises for the appearance of Harmony – the ideal that prevailed on Penacony in the end.
And that is what actually 3 is actually about. Puppets(Members of the Beyond the Sky Choir) ask what they and everyone else should do after the “king(Ena)” disappeared.
They feel no safety and out of their comfort zone when the one that controlled everything about their lives suddenly disappeared. And Chancellor’s answers are the representation of the ideology of Harmony, that you don’t need to be controlled to strive in life, for that there is more to universe and that the “king” is not actually required for betterment of society, that society can harmonize and evolve on their own, that the unity of people can replace the “king”. Ironically, “the Ode to Order” doesn’t glorify Order but rather disproves it from being the one and only universal truth.
In this act Sunday actually reveals, intended or not, that he doesn’t disprove Harmony’s ideal, that he subconsciously feels that it can stand on par with the ideal of Order.
Then, Sunday poses between us three questions, each one has different answers depending on your set of believes: order or Harmony. Notice, that Sunday doesn’t give his own answers to the questions.
“Is darkness equal to daylight?”
This question is very metaphorical. Radiance and light, eradicating darkness and giving protection to those under the light are a repeated theme in the ideology of the Order (“I shall ascend to the heavens, becoming the scorching sun. Bathed in my light, my people shall flourish, while all evil shall be eradicated” / “Those who live in the shadows do not bear the right to tread the illuminated stage.” / “I now permit you to gaze into the sun [hardest line in the game btw]”) But radiance is also a term sometimes used to describe Xipe. The greatest difference lies in the fact that what Order will not tolerate (“darkness”), harmony will be able to co-exist with and eventually embrace. So for Order they are different, but for Harmony not at all.
“Are sinners equal to the righteous?”
Order punishes the unjust and uplifts the righteous. For it, they are not equal. But for Harmony they are, mostly because before Xipe the very concept of sinners doesn’t exist. Harmony is all-embracing, for everyone can change for the better and be redeemed.
It is a discourse in philosophy: first question was about whether are you able to tolerate something that goes against you. While Harmony can, Order cannot (Sunday can as literally shown in the quest so he leans more to Harmony in that part). Second question was about whether people can change for the better and be redeemed. Order doesn’t believe in it, Harmony does.
“If you are born weak, which god should you turn for solace?”
It is another question to choose between philosophies because Sunday struggles to choose himself. If you are weak and you bow before someone(“king”) for the protection then this is a choice befitting Order, but if you choose to cooperate with others, uplift one another and “listen beating of billions of hearts holding you on their embrace” then this is the choice of Harmony.
Notice, that Sunday doesn’t consider us as enemies at all. As he says: “I genuinely wish to avoid a violent clash with my esteemed guests from afar.” When Astral Express team asks Sunday why did he invite us to the duel, he responds: “Because our shared goals give equal weight to the beliefs we strive for.” He regards everything happening more like a debate of two equally valid philosophies. Even in the fight with him (second one) he still invites us to join his chorus of Order. And he says “our final talk is concluded” only when he turns into his Embryo of Philosophy form, when literally everyone who could has risen against him. And then he reveals his true emotions:
“If your ‘paradise’ can save more people, sever my path with your hands”
He knows he is not infallible, that his plan can be wrong, that there is a possibility of making better choices, better decisions. And he asks us to prove, that Harmony after all is a stronger concept then that of Order. And his quote before that really makes everything extremely ironic:
“If we had never experienced solitude, how could we embark on different paths?”
Once again, this solitude refers to the times when he still completely followed Harmony. Yet he was the only person on the entire Penacony because of his great compassion, who actually followed what Xipe preached. Yet, in this he was alone. How can you be in Harmony with anyone, if you are alone. The irony is in the fact, that if Robin didn’t leave Penacony, of if he met another genuine believer, he wouldn’t have turn to Order and he would remain under Xipe. With many similarities of Order and Harmony: the epitome of Order is loneliness, being a sole ruler of everything, the epitome of Harmony is a unity of numerous people.
“And thus, my talk about Sunday has concluded. Next part is about Ena.”
Ⅲ
While his monologue about history of Ena can also be interpreted as parts above, it is much more interesting to discuss it when talking about Ena THEMSELVES.
“Let us commence with the dawning of the world… After the Dusk Wars, darkness veiled the sky, and chaos consumed the earth. Ena the Order emerged, destined to restore all existence. That marked the first day.”
The Dusk Wars are one of the most ancient (if not the most) periods of history we know about. Ena emerging at that time, makes THEM one of the oldest Aeons alongside Long, Hooh, Qlipoth and Oroboros.
” THEY gathered nebulae and forged them into picks, thus creating a grand lyre with black and white keys. Strike the white keys, and the sun rose. Strike the black keys moon and the rose. And so the cycle of day and night arose. That marked the second day. “
“THEY transmuted streams of stars into inked nibs, creating symbols to be pronounced and counted. THEY molded stardust into flowing rivers, assigning the righteous upstream and the unjust downstream. Thus, all things were marked and the world learned to discern between good and evil. That marked the third and fourth days. “
“THEY used the planetary rings to establish the law, forging a code of conduct among the masses. A grand lyre with black and white symbols of articulation and numerical notation took the form of musical notes. The downward-flowing river became a melody, and the cannon of law dictated the form. Thus, all mortals found their unique place within this symphony. That marked the fifth and sixth days. “
Ena, as we know was a control freak, at much bigger scale and extent, then Sunday could have ever hoped to become. We know that «Ena's harmonic songs seems to align within a three-dimensional framework, akin to an emperor maintaining hierarchical order among all creatures» Not only people, but the movement of celestial bodies were under THEIR control. THEY wanted to and almost controlled everything in the known cosmos. So, THEY were the only person responsible for everything. And when THEY were consumed, the manager of everything disappeared and the scales of order and discord lost their balance. That is why Hooh intervened and took THEIR responsibilities.
“THEY imbued world with meaning, perfecting all things in the heavens and earth. Then, THEY rested from the labors of creation. Yet, all beings cried to Ena – ‘Under the banner of the Order, you have defined all things in the Cosmos… but this made us realize that we are but puppets in your hands!’ – Thus, on that day, all beings united and cast the Aeon into the abyss of oblivion. That marked the seventh day. “
And this is the most interesting part. We know that Ena was consumed by Xipe, so why does Sunday refer to THEIR death as an action, made by humans?
As we know, Xipe “hails from multiple harmonious celestial words”, “a plural Aeon” and “THEY are the amalgamation of thousands of entities”. Thus, I pose that Xipe ascension was not a process of accension of a one person who somehow become an Aeon, but rather that several beings in a moment of unity (of “harmony”) were ascending as one. Next bit is purely theoretical:
But who could provide such unity before the existence of Harmony? Only the Beyond the Sky Choir – followers of Ena could understand the true extent of Ena’s control over everything and unify to create a change. Thus, mortals ascended into Aeon, befitting their shared beliefs, and from the Beyond the Sky Choir, Xipe arose with a new symphony of Harmony.
ⅠⅤ
Also, some other interesting bits from 2.2. storyline:
The most overlooked part of 2.2 quest for me is that part before boss battle when Sunday says that he doesn’t intend to either resurrect Ena or become a new Aeon of Order. While the actual possibility of such actions remains “enigmatic, we can now speculate that it could be possible to take control of a masterless Path or revive its master. I speculate that when we finally reach strongest Emanators level of poweallies/etc. the enemies we will be facing before actual Aeons will be unique beings like that: fallen Aeons in the process of resurrection or people in the process of becoming a new Aeon of a Path without one.
Another interesting bit of lore about Ena is that while she was “consumed” by Xipe, her Path still lingers in the cosmos masterless. While it was known about Paths of other fallen Aeons it is interesting that even assimilation by a broader concept Aeon isn’t enough to completely eradicate the Path from the face of the cosmos.
Some other connections that I noticed about Sunday while rewatching 2.2 quest were surprising even for me. Name a planet where the ruler intentionally left their subordinates in ignorance about the truth about the events for the sole reason of protecting them? It’s Belobog with Bronya and Seele (I could talk about similarities and differences of Bronya and Sunday but that would make already long post even longer). And this is why Ena was able to persuade Qlipoth. Because Qlipoth shares with THEM that general theme of protection. Because their Paths partly overlap. Because Preservation is about keeping everything dangerous behind the walls (in this case dangerous information about Cocolia), and everything inside the walls is safe, protected, or you could say “in Order”.
Ⅴ
P.S. I feel like in this quest there is still so much more to discuss(and I could write EVEN MORE), but this long wall of text is already too out of character from me as a humble follower of Enigmata.