Bangladeshi choti story with mother

My spouse had these two friends who used the hell out of them. Anytime my spouse was successful, they would create drama to drag my spouse down. They would try to convince my spouse that they can't be successful. These friends were also always a one way relationship.
My spouse would always communicate to them, but the only time my spouse would hear from these friends was only when they wanted something. My spouse never smiled around these people, and could never be themselves. These friends never showed interest that they really wanted to get to know my spouse of who they are as a person either.
They've always gotten into multiple arguments, and my spouse says that this is normal for a friendship. These friends would go back to acting normal and say their sorry but then would always revert back to being toxic. They even physically tried to harm my spouse.
So my spouse questioned how they where being treated in this "friendship" and these friends replied that the friendship they had with my spouse is a game and they like how they felt that they had more things in life then my spouse did for why they would only be around.
Added to this, long story short, my spouse has sufferes from childhood abuse from their abusive narcissistic mother, and these friends choose to be associated with my spouses abusive mother.
My spouse did cut ties with their family and these friends, and sought out therapy to deal with the traumas. And I cannot say enough to not only how my spouse has improved but how healthier life had become without these abusive toxic people in it.
Unfortunately, with it recently having been mother's day, something must've triggered my spouse sending them into depression and they broke no contact with one of the friends.
My spouse believes these friends can change, even though for over five years my spouse had given them chances to and they never did. In fact, they would tell my spouse that my spouse is the one that needs mental help.
My spouse keeps telling me I'm trying to control them and manipulate them when I had expressed how I wouldn't like it if they talked to these people and it's a friendship I would never support for them to have because of how they treat them (my spouse).
I've continued to express how I am afraid given that not only how these friends chose to be associated with my spouses abusers, but also how they've tried to harm my spouse and that this is not normal behavior in a friendship that they (my spouse) believes it to be. And with my spouse trying to rekindle this toxic friendship, I feel it's a door my spouse is letting back open for the abuse to continue again.
I've encouraged my spouse to find healthier people to surround themselves with, because I strongly believe they're putting their time and energy into the wrong people who would never do the same for them. And my spouse thinks they can't find better friends.

I 16 year old female started resenting my father (52 male) during the pandemic which is when we moved in with my grandma because we could not afford rent anymore. I started to realize how much of a mamas boy my dad is and how much of a push over he is, for example he would wake up early to drive my aunt to her work; he would constantly be on call for my grandma and do everything she asks him to do even though it would lead him and my mom to fight. My grandma and his siblings didn't like my mom since in their head my mom was the reason why Steven (not the real name of my dad) didn't finish collage even though it was his own decision [my mom finished collage] when we were living in my grandmas house i use to hear them talk shit about my family; my mom mostly. For context i was verry close with my fathers side before this and use to babysit my cousins (i was about 9 at the time and they were 4 and 2) but after that i could never treat them the same and started to stay in my room more then i heard them all me lazy because i only go out of my room when its lunch time (i had online class that starts at 7 so around 6 im already awake). Even though my dad knows they stay shit about us he still doesn't say something and still is on their command. His family would always go first then us. My grandma likes to make up stories about how we disrespect her and stuff even though i mostly stay insde my room and the funny part is Steven belives her so when everthing bottled up there was a huge fight and we moved. For the longest time Steven have not had a stable job and at the same time not want my mom to have a job since he was jealous of the males my mom had to talk to (my mom is a teacher) they relied on my eldest brother to support the family (Electricity bill, water bill, my school fees, grocery). When my brother was still in collage my aunt use to pay our rent (i had a cousin that lived with us since his mom worked in a diffrent country). Around 2022 my mom started working then around 2023 Steven started to work in a call center but that didnt last long since he was always absent. At the end of the last year he borrowed a big sum of money from my brother and said he would return it he didnt my brother said he could not return the money but the money had to be reused in some sort of buissines and he would have to jave job but no matter what my brother pushes him to do all he want to do is play video games all day long. I dont like Steven, i hate talking with him, i dont like neing near him, i dont feel safe with him i saw him hurt my mom in so many diffrent ways and they would always fight no matter where the setting i feel like my brother are more of a father to me than Steven i doesnt feel right calling him my father. He likes to manipulate and gaslight the people around him, he is a prideful male that doesnt have balls he likes to spend and flaunt the money he doesnt have, he like to judge people when infact he is like them. He is moody and gets angry whenever he doesnt get what he likes, he is needy. I dont want to remain in contact with him when i get a job. I do plan on supporting my mother and i want to repay my brother for all that he has done for me but i dont plan on ever contacting Steven.

Not sure how else to phrase it, because I love him but he has a really bad way of being thoughtless and selfish. Our first Christmas, I was impressed with a gift that he made for his mom. It was cheap, literally just a bunch of notes in a paper bag labeled "reasons I love you" and each was a sentiment or story or inside joke. It was cheap and I understood because he was a broke-ass teenager who couldn't hold down a job.
Since then, though, I've come to experience his assumption and expectation for what he will be receiving for birthdays and Christmas. For example, he'll assume we were going to spend a few hundred dollars on gifts, and ask for it in cash instead of gifts. He asked for us to renew his medical weed permit ($250 at the time) and claimed that's all he wanted, then acted all shitty when there wasn't much else to open. He knows he gets money from his grandpa, so he's asked for advances on it. Every gift he treats as an expected transaction, taken for granted, not as a gift. For Christmas, his mom got him a necklace I think, that was sort of silly but there was a reason she got it. If he didn't like wearing it, I didn't blame him, but he could hang it from a tac on his wall or something. Instead, he actually gave it back to her right there within moments of opening it, saying it wasn't his style.
What finally pissed me off enough to write this was Mother's Day. I asked him weeks ago what he was going to do for his mom. He's 24 and no longer lives with us, but he has a job and is still getting food stamps from his brief unemployment, Actually has more than he needs to the point of stocking up before the benefits expire. Anyway, I remind him weeks ago that Mother's Day is coming up, his mom doesn't want anything but a nice heartfelt card or note because we know he's working hard and trying to save for a car and a better place. We tell him Mom wants to go to ihop, nothing fancy at all. We didn't offer to pay, but I assumed we would. We pick him up and take him after work. While we are waiting for our food, he gives her a card.
The card was literally a picture on the front and a sentence on the inside that he said "this kinda says how I feel so I didn't write anything else." And to be clear, what I mean is: the card had a sentence printed on the inside. He did not write anything, he didn't even sign his name. If we wanted to return the card, we could have. It was literally right off the shelf, and obviously a last minute purchase that he bought from work just moments before we picked him up.
Number one, I hate how shitty it makes me feel when WE show emotional investment in him with not only our thoughtful gifts but also very sincere cards and notes. We show a ton of support, love, and appreciation for him and everything he does and has done. For him to gloss over that while searching for the money inside the card is like holy shit, you're an adult, are you not aware of how selfish you look? If you're going to be an asshole, at least pretend to not be one in front of us. Second, and this is important: You will not be successful in relationships if you are an emotional slug like that. I can't imagine how his girlfriends would feel or how his wife would feel with this approach to her birthday or anniversary. You cannot half-ass something that is significant to you in any way, especially when it is equally or more significant to people you love.
My wife, who often suppresses her reactions to these kinds of things, actually broke down and told me how disappointed she was when she got that Mother's Day card. If she's willing to say something about it, I can only imagine it's more than what she's expressed because she doesn't want to be negative toward her son. I get that. So I can't imagine how low she felt when after all that she's done for him, especially in the past year, his only gift is a last-minute purchase of convenience, no thought, and not even his own words. Not even a signature.

When I was about 11 I moved to a new house with my dad and step mom. I had three step sisters and one biological sister. We all were interested in ghosts and Bloody Mary etc.
Our parents didn’t believe so, to them, buying us an ouija board was no big deal. We played with the board and possibly spoke to spirits or maybe one of us pranked the rest and never fessed up.
Anyways, while we lived there so many things happened that couldn’t be explained. I can only speak of my experience and possibly throw in a couple of my sisters stories, she still lives there and says it’s still haunted.
My room upstairs at the end of the hall. My parents always told me I feel from my bed every single night and that I paced the hallway or living room for extended periods of time. I never remember falling or walking around I never have been a sleep walker and they never really checked to see if it was me just assumed by sound of footsteps. A little off, but nothing crazy.
I used to hear my dad walking down the hall in his heavy work boots I would open my door to nothing. I would feel pressure as if someone sat on me or my bed often, especially at night. Often times things would move. In particular I had a glass jar of sand and shells on top of a box tv. This jar several times would fly toward my bed stop directly in front of my bed and fall. My cousin visited and witnessed this on our way out of my bedroom one day.
My sister still to this day and always has said that she feels someone sit on her bed, open her door, or pull her blankets often. Sometimes even touching her legs. I always used to think I saw a shadow figure in the bathroom when it was dark, across from our large mirror.
I used to have a best friend who swore she could see ghosts and had some insane interaction stories. She swore that there were ghosts in the home after she started visiting. She stated there was a man in black who seemed evil, a young boy, and my mother. She had names but I don’t recall them. She explained the dynamic between them and it was unsettling but I can’t attest to truth behind her claims with certainty.
This is where I feel it gets weird, at one point when I was young I was downstairs doing dishes in the kitchen. I made my sister come down with me and talk to me while I’d do them I was talking to her and swore I still saw her from the corner of my eye. My sister is a soft walker so when she ran upstairs I had no idea. I looked up because she wasn’t answering. When I looked up I saw a little girl no older than 8/10, dark hair like my sister covering her face and long. A very old fashioned dress with frills and it was white and pink. To get up the stairs I had to run by her. I ran as fast as I could and hurried to close the door to the top of the stairs behind me. She was sitting with her head between her legs behind the door. I ran away down the hallway to my room and locked myself in my room.
Now, recently my daughter myself and my sister and her daughter had a sleepover at this home. My sister and I got to talking about my nieces imaginary friend who she speaks to all the time. The imaginary friend is named Stella. When my daughter heard us say the name Stella she said “I know Stella!” So we said “oh really who is she what does she look like?” She described exactly the little girl I saw word for word when I was a teen in the same home. I had never spoken about this in front of her before. This made us all feel uneasy. But the girls swear she’s nice to them. Needless to say my daughter and I have not been back.

I’m needing some recommendations for a family law lawyer. I’m hoping some of you have some good recommendations.
I was in the stay at home mom role, typical sad story, whatever. Everything was in his name, car, house, phones, you name it. So when we broke up he kicked myself and my disabled non verbal 3 year old out of the rental we had together and had both been contributing financially because my daughter gets SSI and we get food stamps. But in his eyes that’s not a contribution.
Here lately he has been ignoring me for weeks at a time when it’s supposed to be my time with our son that we verbally agreed upon and keeps him from me, yes, even yesterday on Mothers Day.
I really need a lawyer that will work with me on payments as my only income is my daughter’s SSI disability each month.
I have already applied to Eastern Legal Services multiple times and have been turned down because they are only accepting cases where dv was involved.
When we initially broke up he had agreed to mediation so I paid my half and then he changed his mind and never paid his.
It’s been 6 months of this going on and I’m just so beyond over it. I want to go to court and get our custody agreement legalized so he can no longer keep my son from me without consequences.
Any help is super appreciate.

"Our Story" is a Turkish comedy and drama television series signed by Medyapim, produced by Fatih Aksoy, directed by Serdar Gözelekli, with Hatice Meryem and Banu Kiremitçi Bozkurt handling the script .The series, which is the Turkish adaptation of Shameless, an American TV series, tells the life story of Filiz and his brothers, who were abandoned by their mother.Filiz, struggling to survive in one of the city's slums, is the eldest daughter in the family and has been caring for her five younger siblings since their mother abandoned them and their father became addicted to alcohol.

Struggling after family was assaulted.
Long story short, my mom has custody of my 11 year old nephew. He's been staying with his mother while we tried to get back on our feet. We have no car, living in a motel, and can't find jobs, especially ones we can walk to.
But Friday night my sister in law sent someone to pick him up and he got confrontational and attacked my mother, me and my brother. We're okay for the most part. Brother has a black eye, I have bruised up arm, possible busted ear drum, and my mother had to get a new phone after he smashed hers. we had to go today and get my nephew new clothes, shoes; backpack, lunchbox, etc because his things are with his mom and we are not speaking to her at all, to keep the peace. We bought a few groceries but now we're absolutely busted. We have just enough food for my nephew to get through the week and we don't have any food for us. I don't want to do this, and feel horrible putting this on here, but I have no clue how we're going to make it and this boy has been through enough. His mother was all the help we had and as soon as we got a car and on our feet a little better we were snatching him back up, but after this, he's not going back. At all. She's extremely hateful, has no morals and just full of pure evil. She doesn't allow anyone to be civil with her. She is just a sick human and we're completely cutting ties. So anything would help. We've been trying to get a car and get by for over a year and nothing is working out. We did have food stamps until I got a temporary job doing tax preparation. But that was seasonal so that is over and my savings from that job are completely gone now.
My nephew is 11, he's had a hard life. His dad (my older brother) passed 1 year ago this month. He's precious and has no one but us. I have no friends now. I've lost touch with them all. Very, very little family, and no hope really.
This has been very traumatic, and we have no where else to turn. A single dollar would be appreciated. I know times are tough, so literally anything at all is greatly appreciated!
Cash app- sarahkking1995 Venmo- Sarahkking095 GoFundMe:

It is a loooong story buy basically i am 30, have no job , hate my life and have since teen years, gay always liked guys who would never even look at me, hate gay dating pool tiny so i have no chance, hate how society works, been on anti depressants for years, after abusive father violently kicked me out, been living with my mother who wants to kick me out now cause i havent worked in 4 years, nor look for work, i will explain why in a moment. And i am mentally somewhat ok, when i am just doing hobbies, my mother has alreadt banned internet from me and locks the computer room door, today she explodes coming home we cannot communicate all she says is "when are you going to get a job, i need to see a therapist cause now cause of you, i am almost 65 at the end of my life you are so selfish you cant just ger yr own wings and fly away to start your own life" Now here is the thing, i believe i must be autistic or something like it, cause ive always dealt with many social awkwardness and fears in school, on the street or on occassion i can be polite etc and talkative but for the most part, id love socializing but ive been bulliee, backstabbed, just always had such shitty stressful people around me, from my abusive father, my overly anxious mother whose anxiety was pushed onto me, being gay has been shit for me, i just want to be left alone to enjoy music and my photography hobbies etc, but cant.. I hate the city i live in, i was bullied here, badly that i have ptsd, spoken to therapists etc no change, i have seen 5 diff ones, please understand i am TIRED and opening up again and again about it makes me feel worse!! I wanna move, but have little to any common sense skills with rent etc, like the idea of having to pay every month, having to work to be able to survive, freaks me out, so fking much... its so hostile, too much mental pressure. I already socially lost, i have less hair now cause of genetic alopecia, lost my teen and 20s to never dating , why continue to simply get a job in the town where seeinh people from my past constantly triggers me, if they see me working, they'll gossip about it and humiliate me again, they should not ever know of me again since the horrific things they did to me in highschool, last time i saw an ex bully as an adult, she passed by car, pointed and gave that evil grin from those days...please understand i cant go through with it here, i would simply be living to live for nothing but physically living. I dont wanna see these people, my mother wont stop annoying me, my father is a violent abusive man, why just why not end it all? I have no reason to live outside of my hobbies. I learnt escapism cause i always hated the way the world was in regards to me.

I honestly can't believe I'm even posting this because sometimes it feels like I've walked out of a bad story. But pretty much, I (27m) have two siblings, my sister Cass (30f) and my brother Mark (32m). Our parents divorced when I was 10 and we split time between the both of them. Cass was always closer to our dad and she has always disliked Mark to the point of claiming things about him which are hard to believe. However, as much as she's disliked him, she's always loved me.
Five years ago, it turned out that Mark's wife Jane was cheating on him with our father. It obviously caused chaos, Cass sided with our dad, Mark moved in with our mom and I sided with him. But even though I sided with him, I've always kept in contact with Cass. And Mark is fine and all right with that.
I didn't see my dad again until this Friday when he and Jane dropped Cass off at our mom's for mother's day. I was outside walking home and my dad noticed me and I don't know why, but I agreed to have coffee with them. It was a really tense conversation between us and I confirmed that he wouldn't be invited to my wedding and I didn't know if I wanted to get to know his and Jane's kids and he even told me I did the right thing choosing Mark. It was weird but he dropped me off after about half an hour but Mark saw him do that from the window and since then he's been cold and snippy with me. Was I the AH for talking to my dad?

Disclaimer:This is a part 2 to my story. Here is part 1:https://www.reddit.com/Crushes/comments/1cr3c21/my_mom_found_my_love_lette.
I met my crush when I was in high-school. I was 13 and she was 14. When I set eyes on her, I knew that she was the one for me. Her reflective skin was like gold waiting to be rubbed and loved. Her luminous eyes were like marbles designed for gazers. Her hair was like a sari, but as soft as silk, waiting to infatuate onlookers who fall in its honey-sweet trap. An example of the above is me.
I decided to test my valour via generating and sending a love letter to her. Unfortunately, at the time, she just said 'Thanks', which had left me devastated. Moreso, I had to duplicate my letter while pooping out biryani I ate on Sunday, in the highschool toilet, since my mother had stolen my original letter. I thought I did the needful to destroy it. Unfortunately, it was all in vain, which caused my letter to be found by my father.
My father was about to beat me with his belt, which was the worst thing that could happen to a 16 year old Indian teenager. However, fortunately, somebody in uaeteenagers gave me advice, which I used. I dissembled my stories and weaved a lie that states that my friend dared me to give my crush a love letter, and that I was not in love with her, which persuaded my father that I was not in need of a thrasing.
I was relieved, and to make my amygdala, my insula, my insular cortex, and my periaqueductal gray even more elated, she had put a love letter in my bag that apologised for her lacklustre response towards me. She has requested a date that will be taking place tomorrow, and since my parents will be out, of the house, I saw eye to eye with her metaphorically, to ensure that we could literally see eye to eye with each other tomorrow.
I am currently, very elated by this, and am thrilled by a new experience that I will be experiencing. Until now, the only acquaintance with dates I had seen so far were in Hollywood pictures, which cater to a westenr audience, and therefore, until now, have led me to believe that us Indians cannot get dates due to our conservative nature. However, I was proven wrong, and will extract the moral of the impossible being possible from this memorable episode.

Married since '07, one child going into high school.
On paper we look good, we both have successful jobs and cover our expenses easily. We don't live like royalty, but we don't go hungry and I'm blessed enough to be able to put money away for the future. Our child is healthy and as happy as a teenager can be.
But, over the years I've seen my wife change, become colder and distant. To be fair she's never been the "lovey dovey" type, but she's just become more angry as time goes on. She feels stuck in her job, but refuses to change anything about her situation to make it better for herself. Spends most of her off work time scrolling on tictoc (I despise that app). Whenever I ask her to engage with me she does so begrudgingly, and if she does it's to vent about her work or her mother ( I understand this is needed and important, but it's her only frame of reference most of the time.)
I've offered advice and I've simply offered my ear, but nothing helps. It's like the scene in the neverending story where the horse allows himself to sink in the swamp and I'm trying like hell to pull it out. Pleading does nothing, she just sits there and sinks.
It's of course, effected our physical relationship, lucky to be intimate a couple times a month, and she usually acts as if it's a chore for her. Yet, she doesn't seem to see how that lack of genuine intimacy affects the both of us. That lack of connection has begun to harden me to her, as much as I hate to admit it, I've become somewhat resentful of her. I'm angry at her for destroying the woman I knew all those years ago. I'm sure I'm not blameless in this, I can be difficult to understand at times.
Long story short, I miss the woman I married.

Disclaimer:This is part 2 to my story. Here is part 1:https://www.reddit.com/UAETeenagers/comments/1cr3fiq/my_mom_found_my_love_lette
I met my crush when I was in high-school. I was 13 and she was 14. When I set eyes on her, I knew that she was the one for me. Her reflective skin was like gold waiting to be rubbed and loved. Her luminous eyes were like marbles designed for gazers. Her hair was like a sari, but as soft as silk, waiting to infatuate onlookers who fall in its honey-sweet trap. An example of the above is me.
I decided to test my valour via generating and sending a love letter to her. Unfortunately, at the time, she just said 'Thanks', which had left me devastated. Moreso, I had to duplicate my letter while pooping out biryani I ate on Sunday, in the highschool toilet, since my mother had stolen my original letter. I thought I did the needful to destroy it. Unfortunately, it was all in vain, which caused my letter to be found by my father.
My father was about to beat me with his slippers, which was the worst thing that could happen to a 16 year old Indian teenager. However, somebody in this subReddit gave me advice, which I used. I dissembled my stories and weaved a lie that states that my friend dared me to give my crush a love letter, and that I was not in love with her, which persuaded my father that I was not in need of a thrasing.
I was relieved, and to make my amygdala, my insula, my insular cortex, and my periaqueductal gray even more elated, she had put a love letter in my bag that apologised for her lacklustre response towards me. She has requested a date that will be taking place tomorrow, and since my parents will be out, of the house, I saw eye to eye with her metaphorically, to ensure that we could literally see eye to eye with each other tomorrow.
I am currently, very elated by this, and am thrilled by a new experience that I will be experiencing. Until now, the only acquaintance with dates I had seen so far were in Hollywood pictures, which cater to a westenr audience, and therefore, until now, have led me to believe that us Indians cannot get dates due to our conservative nature. However, I was proven wrong, and will extract the moral of the impossible being possible from this memorable episode.

I (16 F) went on a countryside trip with my relatives and cousins. I had heard stories from my mother and her family about how they used to bathe in the river and swim in the clean water when they were kids. My cousins and I were very excited to experience this ourselves. Accompanied by two of my aunts, one of my uncles, and all my cousins, we decided to swim in the river around 11 AM.
The tiny rocks around the river were sharp and spikey, and the ground was extremely hot due to the time of day. We left our footwear far away out of fear of them being stolen or lost. As we headed towards the river, everyone's feet were burning, so we all ran to get our feet underwater to escape the burns. After swimming for about an hour, we decided to go back and change. The ground was even hotter than before. Everyone managed to run and reach our nearby house, except me. Every step I took felt like walking over embers. The tiny rocks made it impossible for me to even jog.
There was a small stream of mildly clean water nearby and when I couldn't keep walking, I chose to stand in that water. I noticed that everyone had gone except another uncle of mine (we'll call him Uncle L), who was watching us enjoy in the water and taking pictures but hadn't joined us in swimming. I told Uncle L about the hot ground and how difficult it was to walk on it. He told me to keep walking. I tried again, but it felt like walking over lava, and the rocks were piercing my skin. I jumped back into the stream and realized I couldn't walk anymore. I asked Uncle L to bring my sandals, which were near our house, but he refused. I told him my feet were burning and that the rocks in the water were also hurting me, but he was stubborn and didn't care to help.
Realizing I had no other option, I started running as if my life depended on it. Each step felt like my feet would need to be amputated. I sobbed all the way to the house and finally reached it. My feet were burnt and red, feeling as if they were on fire for about 15-20 minutes. I put my feet under some ice and bandaged them, which made me feel only a little better. When I told everyone about Uncle L's refusal to bring my sandals, his wife (we'll call her Aunt L) sided with him. Uncle L said, "You need to face the reality of life," and shared a story about a friend who once told him, "If some day you get into a fight and I don't answer your calls, what will you do?" This made no sense in the current situation, as I wasn't fighting with the hot ground. It was if being in a car crash and the doctor refuses to help you, saying you need to the face reality of life. Aunt L proudly stated that Uncle L never touches anyone's footwear as it is against his honor. Sorry but I don't see any sense in hurting one's "honor" to help someone whose feet are literally burning. My mom remained neutral, but Uncle L and Aunt L have been treating me like assholes. AITA?

As many of you may have read, there is a case of two missing adopted kids in North Carolina, where remains have been found. The news has reported that their adoptive “mother” is Avantae Deven.
I’m a curious person and started digging up information on Avantae Deven when I first read the story in my news feed and could not believe what I was reading. It seemed like whomever this woman is must have be using an alias; Avantae Deven is not a name like Kim Jones or Mackenzie Smith.
The more I dug, the weirder it seemed to get. I found a property deed to a place in Sedona, Arizona, and figured out that whomever this Avantae person is, she at one point in time had owned a home together with someone named Nicole Adams. So I dug into who Nicole Adams was, and learned that she was the widow of a spiritual leader named Robert Adams. It appeared to me that there would be no way to identify who Avantae really was, unless I could also identify the true identity of Robert Adams.
*******
I've done investigative work for many years, including skip tracing. I can conclusively state that there was absolutely no person actually named Robert Adams born in New York State on January 21, 1928. This is demonstrated by the New York Birth Index. I have combed the census records for 1930, 1940, and 1950, and cross-checked them against multiple databases, and am confident that nobody with the birth name of Robert Adams was born anywhere in the United States on January 21, 1928.
Moreover, there was absolutely no person with the true name of Robert Adams who died anywhere at all in the United States, let alone Sedona, Arizona, on March 2, 1997. This is demonstrated by the Social Security Death Index.
I began this research largely by performing exhaustive searches on the known addresses that are associated with Robert, his wife Leonie (who used to use the alias Nicole), and Avantae Deven (who turns out to be their daughter Michelle who began using the alias Avantae in the mid-1990’s or so). Most of the addresses are PO boxes. Those that are PO boxes are all *private* PO boxes, not PO boxes that one can rent from the United States Postal Service. To me, that spoke volumes. The family were clearly using aliases.
As I explain further below, I eventually determined that “Robert Adams” was Robert Spiegel, born 21 January 1932 in New York. “Nicole Adams” was actually Aileen Beverly Leonie Maxwell, born February 2, 1929, in Jamaica. “Avantae Deven” is actually their daughter, Michelle K. Spiegel, born on October 1, 1960, in California.
One of Robert’s many false stories about Robert’s life that my research has refuted is Robert’s claim that his mother was Jewish and his father was Catholic. That was a lie. Both of his parents were Jewish. It’s also interesting that he claimed that he was “raised Catholic.” There is absolutely nothing to suggest that. His mother always, in New York, lived in Jewish neighborhoods. Moreover, as will be discussed below, his parents had a Jewish wedding. It’s also downright absurd that he would tell people that he was “half Jewish.” If your mother’s Jewish, you are Jewish, pure and simple. Even if Robert’s father had truly been Catholic (which he wasn’t; his name was Samuel Spiegel and he immigrated to America in 1907, lived with his Jewish, Yiddish-speaking cousins, and spoke Yiddish himself), Robert would have been Jewish because the status of being a Jew comes from the mother. Robert’s mother’s name was Fannie (nee Fleisfeder) Spiegel. Fannie’s parents were Itzik Fleisfeder and Esther Libke (nee Rifkin) Fleisfeder. Esther’s parents were Mendel Rifkin and Sarah whose maiden name is lost to time and the disappearance of the shtetls. Robert’s claim to having had a Catholic father was utterly false, but is part and parcel of his ongoing compulsive daily lying about anything and everything.
Here is the story.
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Kolomyia, formerly known as Kolomea, is a city currently located in the Western Ukraine.
On January 21, 1892 (the same year that Kolomea tallis¹ workers went on strike for better pay and working conditions), Kolomea resident Rachel Katz, wife of Abraham Spiegel, gave birth to a son, who was given the name Schmuel.
On the date that Schmuel Spiegel entered the world, Kolomea was ruled by the Austro-Hungarian Monarchy, and almost half of the city’s residents were Jewish.
In June of 1907, fifteen-year-old Schmuel² boarded the Zeeland, which sailed from Antwerp, Belgium, arriving at New York Harbor on June 18, 1907. The ship’s manifest states that Schmuel’s father had paid for his transport, and that Schmuel intended to reside with his father, Abe, in Brooklyn. Schmuel was granted entrance, and took up residence with his cousin Charles Fetner, who resided at 353 Myrtle Avenue, Brooklyn, in Apartment A with his wife Jennie and their baby daughter Ettie. The sparse record that exists suggests that although Schmuel’s father was, indeed, named Abraham, Abraham lived and died in Europe, without immigrating to America.
The 1910 census describes Samuel’s cousin Charles as a carpenter, who had been married to housewife Jennie for six years, and a father of three children-- Ettie age four, Nathan age two, and baby Jacob, who was not even a year old. Eighteen-year-old Samuel was identified by profession as a “Foreman Sailmaker” in an industry described as “pocket-books.”
Three and a half years after being granted admission, on a bitterly cold winter day, January 4, 1911, Schmuel (now employed as a pocket-book maker, and having Anglicized his name to Samuel) signed and submitted his declaration to become a United States citizen. He stated, in that declaration, that he was born on January 21, 1892.
By 1915, Samuel had left his cousin’s abode and was residing as a lodger in the home of a widow named Rose Hammer, who lived with her two adolescent sons, Meyer and Louis, at 531 E. 5^th Avenue; Samuel was now working as a “driver.”
Two years after the 1915 state census was taken, Samuel had moved back to Myrtle Avenue, but this time at building no. 849. On June 15, 2017, Samuel registered for the draft, and described himself as being a pocketbook maker, working for “A. Shoenfeld,” at 101 Crosby Street, New York. He was single. He stated, in his draft registration, that he was born on January 21, 1892.
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A woman named Fruma Fleisfeder was born in Beltz, Bessarabia, sometime between July 1, 1893, and 1901, to Itzik Fleisfeder and Esther Lieba Rifkin. Fruma (not living up to her pious given name) provided different dates and years of birth to different authorities on different occasions, making it impossible at this point in time to know her true position in the birth order of her family. Regardless, Fruma, who began using the name Fanny upon her entrance to the United States, did have three brothers and a sister who also came to America-- Louis Fleisfeder who was born April 10, 1890, Max Irving Fleisfeder who used October 10, 1892 as his birthdate, Hersch (later known as Harry), whose official birthdate was December 15, 1901, and Sylvia who was born in approximately 1906.
On December 1, 1919, Fruma arrived in New York Harbor on the ship La Touraine, declaring her intention, at entry, to become a United States Citizen. The ship’s manifest describes her as five feet five inches tall, with fair hair, blue eyes, and a fair complexion. The ship’s manifest states that she was, at that time, age 24. If that were correct, she would have been born in 1895.
Fruma (then going by Fanny) took up residence with her cousin Ethel (nee Ruchlin) and Ethel’s husband Samuel Steinberg, on 15^th Street, Brooklyn. Soon thereafter, Ethel gave birth to her first child, a daughter named Theresa. The 1920 census states that Fanny was Russian, didn’t speak English but, rather, spoke Hebrew, and worked as a milliner in a millinery store. The 1920 census also states that Fanny was age 25, which lines up with her being age 24 in the prior year’s ship manifest.
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Sam and Fanny married in Manhattan on January 24, 1925. Their marriage certificate (signed by each of them) identifies Sam as being age 32 (contradicting, by one year, his immigration records which would have placed him at age 33), and identifies Fanny as age 24, the same age that she had claimed to be six years prior, and also contradicting an immigration petition that she would file two decades in the future, which generally placed her birth year at the mid-point of 1893.
If Fanny’s immigration records (which included a petition with her signature on it) were correct, Fanny would also have been age 32 as of her marriage to Samuel, not age 24.
So did Fanny lie in her marriage certificate? Or did she lie in her immigration petition?
The marriage certificate identifies Sam as having been born in Kolomea, Austria, and his father being Abraham, and his mother being Rachel Katz. It identifies Fanny as having been born in Beltz, Russia, to a father named Isaac, and to a mother named Esther Rifkin.
The marriage certificate does not identify Fanny as having any profession, but identifies Sam as being a pocketbook maker.
Sam and Fannie were married at 125 E. 4^th Street, Manhattan, a six-story apartment building with retail units on the ground floor that is now an expensive co-op, with three-bedroom units selling for over $900,000. Present-day real estate advertisements alternatively state that the building was built in 1894, 1903, and 1905.
The first name of the rabbi who officiated was Harry. His surname starts with Reid, but the remaining letters of his signature are illegible. Rabbi Harry identified his residence as 232 Broome Street, which, at the time, was a four-story mixed use building that, among other things, housed Chevrah Ahavath Zedek Anshei Jaskinover.
Witnesses to the marriage were Mayer Budmon and Samuel Steinberg.
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Sam and Fanny’s existence was documented next in the 1925 New York State census by census. They were living at 205 S. 2^nd Street. Samuel was still working as a “pocketbook maker.” Fanny was identified as a “housewife.”
Fanny was identified as age 25. This was in accordance with her age as stated on her marriage certificate, but not in accordance with her immigration documents or the 1920 census.
Sam was identified as being age 28, which conflicted with all prior records.
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In 1930, the couple were again enumerated, this time in the Federal census. The enumerator, whose signature appears to be “Max Krahn” (or something like that) stated that he obtained the information on April 16, 1930.
Sam was identified as a “framer” of pocketbooks. He was identified as being 36 years of age, which conflicts by two years with the age that he provided to immigration authorities. Perhaps the enumerator was simply sloppy; Samuel was also incorrectly identified in the 1930 census as having been born in “Poland,” with parents who were both also born in “Poland,” notwithstanding other governmental records having identified him as being Austrian. The language he spoke? “Jewish,” according to the enumerator. Was that to mean Hebrew? Yiddish? Both?
Fannie was identified as age 30 (directly in conflict with the information she supplied in her immigration petition, which bears her signature) and as being “Russian,” with parents born in “Russia.” The 1930 census enumerator incorrectly wrote that her year of immigration was 1921. Fannie, too, was identified by the enumerator as speaking the “Jewish” language.
Although later records reflected that Sam and Fannie had a son named Irving who was born in 1926, Irving was not recorded in the 1930 census. Was he missed by the enumerator? Or was he a later-adopted son?
The couple also had a boarder, identified by the 1930 enumerator as one Esther “Larson,” age 40, born in Russia, and similarly a speaker of the “Jewish” language.
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The New York Birth Index identifies a baby boy, Robert Spiegel, as one of many babies having been born in the city on January 21, 1932.
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On May 21, 1936, Samuel committed suicide by hanging in the family residence, a tenement apartment located at 1168 Union Avenue, in the Bronx. Although, based upon the date of birth that Samuel used for official governmental purposes he was age 44, the death certificate stated that he was age 43.
Fannie engaged the Gordon Funeral Home to prepare him for burial.
Strangely, although Samuel’s headstone accurately identified him in Hebrew as Schmuel Spiegel, son of Avraham, it inexplicably incorrectly stated that he died at age 40.
Fannie of course knew her husband’s real age; both of them signed the marriage certificate that had Samuel’s correct age listed. Furthermore, Samuel had petitioned for citizenship in 1911, and stated that his date of birth was January 18, 1892.
Why would Fannie commission a headstone with a false age? Perhaps she, like her son, was a compulsive liar. Maybe that’s where Robert got it from.
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The 1940 census has Fannie (identified as age 38), Robert (identified as age 8), and Fannie’s son/Robert’s brother, Irving Spiegel, age 13, as living with Fannie’s 72-year-old mother, Esther Fleisfeder, at 1537 Fulton Avenue, in the Bronx. Fannie and Esther were identified as widows. Esther was identified as “U” (unable to work), while Fannie was identified as engaged in housework. No source of income for the family was identified.
No explanation is obvious regarding where Irving was living in the census taken a decade previously. Was he adopted?
There is no “Irving Spiegel” listed in the New York Birth Index for either 1926 or 1927. There is an “Irving Spiegal” listed, who was born April 29, 1926. But he is not Irving Spiegel.
I initially thought that perhaps Irving might be one of the unnamed Baby Boy Spiegels born in New York in 1926 or 1927, and that he left the hospital unnamed because his parents were waiting for his bris before naming him. However, Robert left the hospital with the name Robert. Why wait until the bris to name one child, but not the other?
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Slightly less than two years after she was enumerated in the 1940 census, Fannie’s mother Esther died, at home, at 1537 Fulton Avenue. The causes of death were “Coronary Thrombosis, Pulmonary Oedema Nephritis, Hypertension, Arteriosclerosis.” Esther left this world on February 6, 1942, the same day that the W. L. Steed was torpedoed, shelled and sunk less than a hundred nautical miles east of the mouth of Delaware River by a German submarine.
She was buried at Mount Moriah Cemetery in Fairview, New Jersey, the same cemetery where her son-in-law Samuel was interred.
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On November 12, 1943, Fannie, now residing at 1985 Bathgate Avenue, in the Bronx, petitioned for citizenship. She claimed, in that document bearing her signature, to be fifty years of age, meaning that if she was telling the truth, she would have been born in approximately 1893.
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On January 19, 1948, Robert (having assumed a false date of birth, that being January 18, 1931), enlisted in the New York National Guard. On paper, he had turned age 17 the day before his enlistment. In reality, he would be turning age 16 two days after his enlistment.
On December 9, 1949, Robert was discharged from the national guard, apparently for having been AWOL.
The discharge document identifies his address as being 1985 Bathgate Avenue, New York City.
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The 1950 census places Robert again at 1985 Bathgate Avenue, New York City. It correctly identifies him as age 18, and states that he worked as a shipping clerk for a newspaper company.
According to the 1950 census, Robert resided at the Bathgate Avenue address with his mother Fannie, who was purportedly still age 50 (seven years after she had previously claimed to immigration authorities to be age 50), and Robert’s brother Irving, age 24.
Irving was listed as unemployed and moreover, according to the census record, had not worked for the prior year. Fannie was employed full-time as a milliner in a hat factory.
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Military records reflect that Irving J. Spiegel, born in 1926 and a resident of 1985 Bathgate Avenue, who had completed two years of high school education, had flown bomber planes over Germany during the war. In his military documents, Irving described himself as single, with two dependents.
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On February 2, 1929, a baby girl given the name Aileen Beverly Leone Maxwell was born in Lucea, Hanover, Jamaica, to William Maxwell and Daisy (nee Tibbits) Maxwell. Her birth was registered by her parents.
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In 1954, Robert Spiegel and Aileen Maxwell were married in New York City. Their marriage license was given License No. 10284.
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The following year, the Kingston, Jamaica, Gleaner reported on June 6, 1955:
Miss Leonie Maxwell, daughter of Mr. and Mrs. W. J. Maxwell, was married recently in New York City to Mr. Robert Spiegel of the U.S.A. Both the bride and groom are students at the New York Institute of Dietetics. The bride left the island nearly two years ago for New York. Her wedding gown was chantilly lace and nylon tulle. The bodice was fashioned with a wide, scalloped neckline and elbow-length sleeves. Her three tier skirt of chantilly lace was over pleated nylon tulle. Her fingertip-length veil was adorned with pearls.
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If the claim regarding the couple studying at the New York Institute of Dietetics was even true, their studies at this institution didn’t last long. In May of 1956, a number of advertisements bearing Robert’s photograph appeared in the Kingston, Jamaica Gleaner. The advertisements described Robert as a psychologist, author, lecturer, and “practitioner in auto suggestion,” and identified him as “Dr. J. Robert Spiegel.” Readers were invited to come meet Robert on May 21, 1956, at Record Plaza, where he would be autographing his “latest” “world-wide” 33 and 1/3 RPM record, “How to Stop Smoking in 7 days by Auto-Suggestion.”
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On May 1, 1959, three residents of 1985 Bathgate Avenue, Bronx, New York, came through customs, having returned from a trip to Jamaica. They identified themselves as “Robert D. Spiegel” born in New York (in addition to giving himself a false middle initial, Robert neglected to complete the I-94-A fully, specifically by leaving his birthdate blank), “Leonie A. Spiegel” born in Jamaica on February 2, 1929, and their minor daughter, and “Sharon S. Spiegel,” born in New York. Someone also neglected to fully complete Sharon’s I-94-A, specifically by leaving her birthdate blank.
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Leonie had taken Sharon to Jamaica two years earlier. There are no publicly available records pertaining to their outbound transport from the United States to Jamaica. There is, however, a record pertaining to their return to the United States. That publicly available record does not provide their address, but Sharon is identified as weighing 1 stone 5 pounds (a total of 19 pounds), and Leonie is identified as weighing six stone 5 pounds (89 pounds). Interestingly, Leonie used the name “Aileen Spiegel,” and the records assert that Aileen has no middle initial. Aileen was / is her true legal first name, but it is a lie to say that she has no middle initial.
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Almost two years later, on January 5, 1958, the Kingston, Jamaica Gleaner reported:
Staying at the Tamarind Hotel are Mr. and Mrs. Bob Spiegel and daughter Sharon of Miami, Florida. Mrs. Spiegel is the former Leonie Maxwell, daughter of Mr. and Mrs. W. J. Maxwell of Lucea and has been in the United States for several years. A welcome party in their honour was given last Saturday night by Messers. Horrace, Ray, and Dennis Maxwell, brothers of Mrs. Spiegel. It was a very enjoyable affair.
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In 1963, roughly five years after their 1958 visit to Jamaica, Leonie petitioned for naturalization, in Louisiana. Although I am in possession of the index showing that she petitioned in 1963, I do not possess the petition itself. However, the fact that she petitioned for naturalization in Louisiana demonstrates that that at least she was residing in Louisiana at the time. Since she stated that she didn’t leave Robert’s side for over 40 years, presumably Robert, young Sharon, and also baby Michelle were living in Louisiana at that time.
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People who knew Robert personally relate that he stated that Leonie was a Cayman Island heiress. She wasn’t. Not only was she not born in the Cayman Islands, Leonie’s father’s estate was litigated (with the judge ruling against her) long before Robert started telling people that his wife was a Cayman Islands heiress.
Leonie’s father did leave an estate, but not to her. On November 9, 1967, the Gleaner reported that the Supreme Court had upheld the will of the late William Josiah Maxwell, the father of Horrace, Ray, Dennis, and Leonie, and the husband of Daisy Maxwell, who had contended that William’s signature was a forgery and that the person to whom his estate had been bequeathed had exercised undue influence. The court disagreed. The article reported:
The estate, which one of the executors described as “a sizeable one,” included 112 acres of land at Paradise and three houses at Lucea, Hanover.
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Robert apparently wasn’t banking on Leonie’s inheritance in any event. In May of 1966, advertisements appeared in the Houston Chronicle with Robert’s photo on them, selling a record that would purportedly assist people in stopping smoking in seven days. He identified himself as “Dr. J. Robert Spiegel.”
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On page 55 of the November 15, 1969, San Antonio, Texas Express and News, was an advertisement stating:
SCIENCE OF THE MIND
Dr. J. Robert Spiegel of Houston, director and founder of the Science of the Mind Foundation there, is conducting Sunday evening meetings at 7:30 p.m. in the Sheraton Inn, 1400 Austin Hwy.
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On page 4 of the July 10, 1970 edition of the Fort Worth Star-Telegram was a photograph of Robert, with a brief local news blurb:
GUEST – Dr. J Robert Spiegel of Houston, Science of Mind Foundation director, will speak at the 10:45 a.m. service tomorrow in First Church of Religious Science, 2001 6^th Ave. His subject is “What Religious Science Teaches.”
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On page 8 of the June 18, 1970 edition of the Houston Daily Cougar was this advertisement:
HOME OF UNIVERSAL LIFE
“Teaching Aquarian Meditation For The New Age
Meets Every Sunday, 11:00 A.M. At The World Trade Center Auditorium
Houston, Texas
DR. J. ROBERT SPIEGEL (BRAHMADANDA) DIRECTOR - FOUNDER
Aquarian Meditation Initiation for the first time offered through correspondence. For those sincere students wishing to bypass evolution and enter the 5th Kingdom. Initiation includes meditation technique, Mantra, how to "live” 24 hours a day, and much more. Write for application today:
P.O. Box 53328 Houston, Texas 052
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From the Galveston Daily News, May 02, 1971, Pg. 31:
AQUARIAN MEDITATION SOCIETY PRESENTS DR. J. ROBERT SPIEGEL AN AUTHOR, LECTURER, TEACHER OF YOGA & SELF DEVELOPMENT WILL SPEAK ON MAN, MIND & THE UNIVERSE WEDNESDAY, MAY 5th AT 7:30 P.M. IN THE RECREATION CENTER HARRIS COUNTY PARK, NASA RD. # 1 ALL WELCOME — DONATION $1.50
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The 1972 Spiritual Community Guide lists Robert twice, in the San Diego area. First, on page 117, using his alias “J. Robert Spiegel”:
THE TEMPLE OF METAPHYSICAL ABUNDANCE. J. Robert Spiegel, 1118 Torrey Pines Rd., 92037. Teaches yoga, nutrition, ESP, metaphysics, psychology, mind control
Second, on page 124, in which he, as one might have predicted, was masquerading as some sort of medical man or scholar:
"AQUARIAN MEDITATION SOCIETY, U. S. Grant Hotel, Attn: Dr. Robert Spiegel, 453-7588"
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Also in 1972, Volume 25 of San Diego Magazine published in November advertised gift certificates for the “Astrology Research Center.” “Give your loved one the gift of love. Only $50” said the advertisement. Where was this entity located? At 1118 Torrey Pines Road, the same address as Robert’s Temple of Metaphysical Abundance. The advertisement purported that person identified as “Lil Canaan” was the director. The telephone number was 459-6400.
In 2013, the San Diego Union Tribune published the obituary for Lillian Mulonas, who founded the La Jolla “Astrology Research Center.” At this point in time, unless Robert Adams’ only surviving daughter, Michelle/ Prentiss/ Avantae knows the answer and talks, we will not know what relationship, if any, existed between Robert’s Temple of Metaphysical Abundance and Lilian’s Astrology Research Center, both of which were located at 1118 Torrey Pines Road in 1972.
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From the July 12, 1973, San Diego Reader:
BRAHMADANDA FOUNDATION
“Teachings of the Cosmic Way” meets Sundays, 11:00 a.m., U.S. Grant Hotel, Crystal Room. Free admission, refreshments served. Call 453-7588 for more information.
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On page 51 of the June 29, 1974 edition of Phoenix’s Arizona Republic was the following advertisement:
Speaker from San Diego
Dr. J. Robert Spiegel from San Diego, a traveler and lecturer, will speak at 8 p.m., Friday in Universal Series Center, 4340 N. Seventh Ave., on the topic “Science of Being.”
He is the founder of the “Aquarian Meditation Society” in Jamaica and is founder and publisher of “Equinox,” a philosophical newspaper.
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The family (Adams or Spiegel, however one might want to refer to them) have resided in (that I know of) New York, Miami, Jamaica, Louisiana, La Jolla, Los Angeles, Houston, New Mexico, Hawaii, Las Vegas, Scottsdale, Sedona, and a number of cities in North Carolina.
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In at least the 1990’s, before he left for Sedona, Robert Adams used the address PO Box 7210, Jordan Avenue, D-30, Canoga Park, CA. He used that address on correspondence he wrote, and on at least one published document. Who else used that address? The data aggregators show that this address was also used by a Michelle K. Spiegel, and a person going by the name Leonie Maxwell. Michelle and Leonie also used other addresses associated with Robert, those being 1815 Willis Avenue Panorama City, and 21551 Burbank Boulevard, Woodland Hills.
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The California Birth Index shows that Michelle K. Spiegel was born on October 1, 1960, in Los Angeles County, to a mother with the maiden name Maxwell.
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In later life, Michelle used the addresses above that are associated with Robert and Leonie, as well as an address of 12004 Vanowen Street #14, North Hollywood. This is the same address at which Denniston Keith Maxwell, one of Leonie’s younger brothers, resided at, after his immigration to the United States. Denniston was one of Michelle’s uncles.
In a recent Facebook posting, Michelle/Avantae stated: “Never knew anything personal about said uncles, etc. Never asked, never cared.” Really? She shared an address with an uncle? Her uncle lived within a few minutes’ drive from her parents, and Michelle/Avantae never knew anything about him?
As an aside, Michelle/Avantae alleged (or admitted) that she “never cared” about anything personal regarding her uncles. If that is true, what does that tell us about Michelle/Avantae’s fundamental character? Antisocial? Psychopathic? Narcissistic in the extreme?
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On August 2, 1996, Michelle, going by the name Avantae E. Deven, married Tyson Ruben Alvarez in Las Vegas. The two had addresses in common in Arizona, Nevada, and Montana.
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Robert “Adams” died on or about March 2, 1997, in Sedona, Arizona.
Shortly after that, in the spring of 1997, “Nicole Adams” and “Avantae Deven” (both aliases; the correct legal names are Aileen Beverly Leonie Spiegel and Michelle K. Spiegel) purchased a home together in Sedona, on Navahopi Road. Shortly after the purchase, “Nicole” quit-claimed her portion to “Avantae.”
On July 17, 2001, Tyson, still married to “Avantae,” quit-claimed any interest in the Navahopi property to “Avantae,” and had the county recorder send the deed to “Avantae” in care of the Infinity Institute, at that time located at 9101 W. Sahara Ave. Suite 105 C29 (in other words, a private post box), in Las Vegas.
Avantae divorced Tyson in 2006. She had, by then, moved to North Carolina. She “served” Tyson via publication summons, claiming that she was unable to find him, despite his information being on multiple data aggregators.
You can go to various Facebook groups, and other sources, to pull up the documents that people have uncovered showing who is associated with the "Infinity Institute," and in what fashion, and also the addresses that they have used over the years.
In any event, this is the information regarding Robert that I think that people need to be aware of.
Why turn to a known liar and con man for spiritual guidance?
1A tallis is a prayer shawl.
2The ship’s manifest states that he was age 14, which conflicts by one year with what Samuel identified as his date of birth. These errors are not uncommon; his fare could have been purchased when he was age 14 and the records not updated.

I (19M) was always lonely throughout my life. I never had friends in school and never took part in any co-curricular activities. I would be jealous of my classmates with them hanging out with friends and being able to talk to girls, so I decided that after my high school I will try to make friends in college.
In college I met a group of people who I thought could be my friends. We would talk and have fun together. We would joke about each other. Even there were 2 girls in our group and with their friendly nature made me comfortable to talk to girls. Even there was a guy in the group who I would hangout with a lot. We would sit together and go to eat food together in the canteen or outside college.
I even started talking to a girl. She was really sweet and cute to talk to and we would bitch about our professors and at once shared playlists with each other. She was the one who asked me for my Insta ID. She would look and smile at me and wave at me. It was amazing. I thought my college life is going to be way better than my school life.
But it all came crashing down. In October me and my friends bunked our classes and went to the sports arena to play games. We were playing darts. One of the 2 girls, let's call her S, jokingly told one of the guys in our group that she would hit him on his head with a dart. So I jokingly told her that I would hit her with the dart but I accidentally pointed at her breast. I was looking at her face so I didn't realize it.
She got offended. She took the other girl, let's call her Z, and told her everything about this. Z confronted me and started shouting at me in the sports arena attracting everybody's attention. The Sports Officer came running towards us. He heard the entire story and took my ID card and told them to write a letter against me to the Dean.
After the letter was written he took me and the girls to the Dean who thought of this as a minor incident and told us we are legally adults and coming to him with these petty complaints. Then they told the Dean about me taking photographs of them and leaking them.
The day before I clicked S's photos of her eating a banana in the presence of our friend group. She took it very sportingly as a joke and I uploaded them to our personal Whatsapp Group. Everyone of us including her were laughing and giggling. But she and Z told that I took them without permission. They even told that I was never a friend and I was an outsider.
Dean got me suspended for 15 days because the next day our vacation would start so throughout November I was in my home. My mother uses this incident as a weapon to scold me evey now and then when we have arguments. And the worst was my crush.
During the days of my suspension I was in contact with my crush. She would even send notes of the classes of that day everyday throughout the suspension, but she didn't know I got suspended. Then when I rejoined college and started attending classes I sat far to my former friend group and behind my crush and she ignored me. Completely.
Throughout the whole day she would ignore me. That broke my heart. I was very upset and regretful for my actions. I think that my crush stopped taking to me because she got to know about this incident and misunderstood me. I have been hating myself for not respecting boundaries. Now I am all alone seeing my classmates enjoying their friendships and relationships. I think I deserve this.

It is a loooong story buy basically i am 30, have no job , hate my life and have since teen years, gay always liked guys who would never even look at me, hate gay dating pool tiny so i have no chance, hate how society works, been on anti depressants for years, after abusive father violently kicked me out, been living with my mother who wants to kick me out now cause i havent worked in 4 years, nor look for work, i will explain why in a moment. And i am mentally somewhat ok, when i am just doing hobbies, my mother has alreadt banned internet from me and locks the computer room door, today she explodes coming home we cannot communicate all she says is "when are you going to get a job, i need to see a therapist cause now cause of you, i am almost 65 at the end of my life you are so selfish you cant just ger yr own wings and fly away to start your own life"
Now here is the thing, i believe i must be autistic or something like it, cause ive always dealt with many social awkwardness and fears in school, on the street or on occassion i can be polite etc and talkative but for the most part, id love socializing but ive been bulliee, backstabbed, just always had such shitty stressful people around me, from my abusive father, my overly anxious mother whose anxiety was pushed onto me, being gay has been shit for me, i just want to be left alone to enjoy music and my photography hobbies etc, but cant..
I hate the city i live in, i was bullied here, badly that i have ptsd, spoken to therapists etc no change, i have seen 5 diff ones, please understand i am TIRED and opening up again and again about it makes me feel worse!!
I wanna move, but have little to any common sense skills with rent etc, like the idea of having to pay every month, having to work to be able to survive, freaks me out, so fking much... its so hostile, too much mental pressure. I already socially lost, i have less hair now cause of genetic alopecia, lost my teen and 20s to never dating , why continue to simply get a job in the town where seeinh people from my past constantly triggers me, if they see me working, they'll gossip about it and humiliate me again, they should not ever know of me again since the horrific things they did to me in highschool, last time i saw an ex bully as an adult, she passed by car, pointed and gave that evil grin from those days...please understand i cant go through with it here, i would simply be living to live for nothing but physically living.
I dont wanna see these people, my mother wont stop annoying me, my father is a violent abusive man, why just why not end it all? I have no reason to live outside of my hobbies. I learnt escapism cause i always hated the way the world was in regards to me.
Also just to add, so many people seem just so priviledged out of nowhere, the very few jobs i worked in the past i was worked like a mule for mininum wage, come home with stomach pains for hunger, tired without time for me, and examples: my sister is a teacher in a private school, every few months she can go on holiday...wtf? Worse, a guy from same school as me i had a big crush on (wont get into the painful story behind how he mocked me when i confessed my feelings as we are both gay) well he is a vet, his face is on the vet company website he works for too, moved abroad etc, he is constantly posting on insta about going to the states, to dubai, to cuba, the guy is always on vacation..what the fuck?? How did these people win at life? This isnt even what i wanted, i just wanted respect and no more trauma nor having to work a job i dislike, the small town i am in has limited choices. I dont want these people seeing ny life

I don’t know if this is the right place to post. My friend has been telling stories that I have been curious if they’re real. She told me that her father died in the hospital due to medical complications after being on a bender and getting trapped under a motorcycle for 3 days. He went into a coma in the hospital and died not long after. My friend’s step mom left him in the drive way knowingly and that’s how he died but blamed it on her and she had to go into witness protection and moved to a different state to hide from her dad’s family. She then told my friend she started hooking up with that her dad committed suicide. Red flags started going off. Then she told me her grandma passed away two weeks ago (right on the heels of her mother passing away from terminal illness) but grandma’s memorial service is two months away (July) in my city, 2 1/2 hours from where the grandma lived. Things aren’t adding up. Her father’s obituary said he died in his home. I can’t find an obituary for grandma. How can I verify if the grandma actually died? I’m starting to feel like she may be a compulsive liar to gain sympathy.

Okay so basically. My mother owns my 4 bed family home. And across the road is another 4 bed home thats been derelict for about 6 years. The house was owned by a woman who has been in jail for the past number of years (crazy story). The houses are very nice family houses with garden. I am currently unsure if she still owns the property, or it has been repossessed by the government.
What is the best way to use the equity on my current home, in order to purchase the house across the road (provided they sell ofc). I would plan to refurbish the inside, in order to rent out the property.
Any more questions let me know.
Any guidance is greatly appreciated, thanks.

So some back story. My (25F) husband (28M) is an addict. He’s been sober a couple times, has relapsed a few times. He has a very addictive personality. He will develop an addiction to just about anything. Pills, porn, gambling, gaming, etc. he just recently relapsed on pills again and quit cold turkey. His physical withdrawal symptoms have subsided but he’s still feeling the effects mentally. He has issues with lying which goes hand and hand with his addiction. He wants to start counseling, get on medication for his depression and anxiety and just overall wants to better his life. That also includes helping more with the house. I work normally 50 hours a week second shift. I do what I can but honestly I just need help getting the house back in order.
My husband told his mother about his relapse (she always known he has had addiction issues) and basically asked her to help him find doctors and counselors and also help him with the house. I have no problem with her encouraging him. But I feel like it’s overboard. She has called doctors for him instead of having him do it, having him send her his insurance information, finding counselors for him, told him she’s going to come over and clean the house and get it back in order with him.
Like I appreciate the help but honestly I don’t need my MIL coming over to help clean and fix the house. I need my husband to step up and help ME. I kinda brought up the making doctor appointments for him and how he’s an almost 30 yr old man. MIL said that’s just how men are. It’s really starting to frustrate me. I truly think that if he wants to make these changes for his life that he shouldn’t be relying on his mom to hold his hand or anyone for that matter. I’ll support him but I think this is something he needs to do on his own.

Okay so basically. My mother owns my 4 bed family home. And across the road is another 4 bed home thats been derelict for about 6 years. The house was owned by a woman who has been in jail for the past number of years (crazy story). The houses are very nice family houses with garden. I am currently unsure if she still owns the property, or it has been repossessed by the government.
What is the best way to use the equity on my current home, in order to purchase the house across the road (provided they sell ofc). I would plan to refurbish the inside, in order to rent out the property.
Any more questions let me know.
Any guidance is greatly appreciated, thanks.