Hi guys! I hear that there are issues with the 2023 Cross wireless charger, but has anyone had issues with the wireless charger in the 2024 version? I tested it at the dealership, but didn't get to use it for very long ofc. Also, is it possible to turn the wireless charging capabilities off? I would most likely use that space to store my wallet or stuff while I'm driving, and I don't want it messing up my credit cards or anything bc I'm paranoid. For reference, I'm looking at the 2024 Corolla Cross Hybrid XSE, but afaik the wireless charger is the same in all trims. Thanks!

ANIMA Christi, sanctifica me. Corpus Christi, salva me. Sanguis Christi, inebria me. Aqua lateris Christi, lava me. Passio Christi, conforta me. O bone Iesu, exaudi me. Intra tua vulnera absconde me. Ne permittas me separari a te. Ab hoste maligno defende me. In hora mortis meae voca me. Et iube me venire ad te, Ut cum Sanctis tuis laudem te in saecula saeculorum.
Amen.
SOUL of Christ, sanctify me. Body of Christ, save me. Blood of Christ, inebriate me. Water from the side of Christ, wash me. Passion of Christ, strengthen me. O good Jesus, hear me. Within Thy wounds, hide me. Separated from Thee let me never be. From the malignant enemy, defend me. At the hour of death, call me. To come to Thee, bid me, That I may praise Thee in the company Of Thy Saints, for all eternity.
Amen.
Just wanted to share this prayer as it was something of a whim that I found it. It is attributed to St. Ignatius of Loyola (although he didn’t write it, it was a personal favorite). I have found significant peace in saying this prayer for a pretty long time whenever I have felt distant from God.
I say it in Latin but it doesn’t matter what language you say it in of course. I hope it brings someone else peace and comfort in our Savior Jesus Christ as it has done for me.

Hello Community,
I just wanted a quick Feedback on our Network. The workspaces we are offering for rent will only have wifi, no ethernet. Our IT-Partner said it would make things a lot easier.
My thought was immediately then, WE NEED REALLY GOOD WIFI then....
Our IT-Partner has installed 2 or 3 ultra-cell Wifi 5 access points in the long-range version with a maximum data transfer rate of 867 Mbps. They said that the Wifi 6 variant U6-LR was not in stock from their vendor.
I think right now we even have Wifi 6E and other newer standarts, the info from above was from 2021. Is it worth it to change the wifi accesspoint situation? Or will changes only be minimal?
Excited to hear back from you
thanks in advance
LB

Hi all,
Last year I modded Skyrim extensively and it was working great, I finally found a point where I was just happy with my mods and didn't need anything else!
I only played now and then. Then I heard the new patch was causing issues so I kept it un-updated.
Fast forward to now: I returned from a long trip and had a few games waiting for updates on Steam... And I accidentaly let Skyrim update.
So yeah, it broke. But I made it worse, since I thought SKSE was the issue and tried to un-patch the game, but after reading it seems like SKSE supports Skyrim SE's current version (game version 1.6.1170, is that right?)
Anyway, I tried repairing Skyrim's install and adding SKSE newest version again, but I get the following error:

REL/Relocation.h(718): Failed to locate an appropriate address library with the path: Data/SKSE/Plugins/versionlib-1-6-1170-0.bin. This means you are missing the address library for this specific version of the game. Please continue to the mod page for address library to download an appropriate version. If one is not available, then it is likely that address library has not yet added support for this version of the game.

Any clue how can I fix this?
BTW I used Vortex to install my mods. I think some people complain about it, could that be the issue?
Thanks!

During the 'fake ending' of 2.2, we engage in a navigation meeting with the Astral Express Crew to vote which planet to go to next. Of course, given how much time and effort goes into creating a planet, it's unlikely the player will actually be able to choose to next destination. In 2.3, it is likely we'll have the next planet revealed, with no choice of which it will be. Still, we can have a little fun speculating things.

Where are we Going?

During the meeting, we are given 4 options: Lushaka, Patrevia, Melustanin and Edo Star. Depending on the decision you make, the result of the vote will change. However, one opinion seems to appear in every vote: Edo Star.

Option	Votes
Lushaka	3 votes for Lushaka, 2 votes for Edo Star
Melustanin	3 votes for Melustanin, 2 votes for Edo Star
Edo Star	All votes for Edo Star
Patrevia	(I don't have this data)
I can't make up my mind	All votes for Edo Star

Unlike the other planets which the Crew is only interested in for their touristic purposes, Edo Star is in mortal peril.
Edo Star has been under attack from the Antimatter Legion for a while now. In the discussion, they mention distress signals from the planet have ceased, and the IPC wants the Express to investigate. Now, this last part might have been false, given we're in the dream at that point. However, the Antimatter Legion part is something we know to be true from the Destruction of the Destroyer text.
It's reasonable to assume the crew will end up pivoting towards this destination in the end.

But then... what can we expect? Well, here's some speculation:

1. It may be the most treacherous planet we've visited yet, being in an Ion Storm region and being besieged by the Antimatter Legion.
2. It's possible there will have already been great damage and destruction to the planet's civilisation
3. While this may be a bit of a Planet of the Hats interpretation, it is likely Edo Star will be heavily inspired by Japanese culture, given the use of the name Edo.
4. According to Forla, Edo Star has great houses of music where they sing ancient ballads, so we might get some Japanese vocal works.

Notably, Edo would not be the only Japanese inspired world, as Izumo is similarly Japanese. However, Izumo is gone. If we ever explore what Izumo was in a Simulated Universe or similar mode, Edo and Izumo may appear redundant if they don't make sure to have a distinct aesthetic. However, there should be enough to work with to make that distinction.
https://preview.redd.it/hc4vn0otvd0d1.png?width=2925&format=png&auto=webp&s=2a22051be09153435464e0b6a359f708ee4d9773
If we assume for a moment that the planet depicted in Sparkle's Myriad Celestia trailer is in fact Edo Star, that distinction should not be an issue. While both are futuristic, Edo's portrayal is more neon, whilst Izumo is more sober, relying more on abstract shapes and designs.
https://preview.redd.it/2nkt948ovd0d1.png?width=2919&format=png&auto=webp&s=e4c1ba433d566c4372b47b2dd8eef59b691176e9

Part 2: Who will be there?

If we do go to Edo Star, what can we expect from the characters? Let's have a looksie.
First, let's talk about the people we already know:
1. The Astral Express Crew:
Of course, our core members will be along for the ride. As for who stays on board the Express this time: I don't have much of a theory. I'd be inclined to think March, because she's the only one who hasn't stuck behind yet, but there's not much to go on.
https://preview.redd.it/9qpw0v8eaf0d1.png?width=1277&format=png&auto=webp&s=d893b6dbe5e96b2cb5f85545f0f47334f920b250
2. Black Swan and Boothill?
While it was a nice dream to have them join the ride for a bit, I'm not convinced this will actually happen. Black Swan has her own agendas and travel methods, and Boothill doesn't seem like he'd have business on Edo Star, and he has a hunt to do. Well, 2.3 will likely reveal more. Who knows? Maybe they'll have reasons to come along after all.
https://preview.redd.it/poh15foexe0d1.png?width=365&format=png&auto=webp&s=cad37485b4e22571bd5d1d5d0edf94de9c40cc36
3. Sparkle:
As the character most heavily implied to come from a place like Edo Star, Sparkle being a returning character for its plot would make sense. However, as a Masked Fool travelling the cosmos, she could also just be mucking about wherever. If she is from Edo though, we can at least expect some mention of her background there. That said, there's no guarantee the planet we saw even is Edo Star to begin with.
Other Masked Fools like Sampo or Giovanni also always have a good chance of popping up.
https://preview.redd.it/hgfgpd3o8f0d1.png?width=184&format=png&auto=webp&s=71d8daef85bdd3238508c55af78c7c4c7b4e9c93
4. IPC/Genius Society/Intelligensia Guild characters:
I know, these three factions aren't the same. But I'm mentioning them for the same reasons: All of them could easily have business at Edo Star. Be it to investigate the Ion Storm, or to deal with the Legion situation.
5. Stellaron Hunters:
It would be a bit odd for them to go completely silent, as it appears they need to be pretty hands-on with Trailblazer's trajectory to achieve their goals.
6. Acheron:
While I think she'll probably slink into the background after what happened now in 2.2, I don't think this is the last we've seen of her. While I don't think it would be a good fit for the main Trailblaze Mission, the idea of a side mission that's just Acheron landing on Edo and engaging with the world with both familiarity and alienation could be very interesting to watch.
https://preview.redd.it/nhir0tt19f0d1.png?width=184&format=png&auto=webp&s=4babc782a0c9d34a8adfbf8aa86979dde2753216
7. Tingyun:
This one's a bit more of a stretch. We know Tingyun likely got involved with the Legion somewhere on her trips, so it's not impossible we may find traces of her at Edo Star.

But what about the people we don't know?

NEW characters: HSR mentions a lot of names, but there are none so far that have any known relation to Edo. Also worth noting is that 'newcast' characters outnumber the 'variants' from previous game with over 3 to 1. We will definitely see a lot of new faces. In fact, Penacony only had 1 character so far we can assume without question is a variant (Acheron), while the rest were all newcast.
But you can't really speculate based on nothing. So what are the variants we can expect to meet? To be honest, there are way too many characters that could work for Edo Star versions. Yanqing and Kafka have shown us miHoYo does not mind picking some of the more obscure figures. But once you start counting side characters and stigmata, well, the list becomes absurdly long.
So let's stick to some highlight candidates:
1. Yae Sakura/Kasumi/Miko:
Yae is a prime candidate for a new version. A mainstay figure with versions across Guns GirlZ, Honkai Impact 3rd and Genshin Impact. Who has a big life sized statue dedicated to her at miHoYo HQ. Who's one of the most popular characters in the roster, and has her own song. I can't imagine miHoYo not including her.
This also brings good odds of some variants of Yae Rin and Higokumaru/Hellmaru to show up. Yae's little sister and the Bake Kitsune that is often tied into her narrative.
https://preview.redd.it/k4o96pl6df0d1.png?width=982&format=png&auto=webp&s=9c20138db0ef87c0b37b37632c6747e91379e833
2. Kallen Kaslana
While it's not unheard of, it's uncommon for a Yae not to have a connection to a Kallen. Kallen Kaslana has two major facets of her identity: Her adventures in Europe, and her adventures in Japan. In fact, in one world, she rose to dictatorship trying to resurrect her beloved Yae.
(Yes, this is official art posted by miHoYo)
3. Theresa Apocalypse
Theresa is an odd character. Perhaps with the most flexible identity of the recurring main cast, Theresa has done it all. She's had different names, hair colours, eye colours and even nationalities and ethnicities. Nevertheless, in several of her versions she ends up tied to Yae or Japan in one way or another, making her a decent candidate for appearing in some shape or form on Edo Star.
https://preview.redd.it/chygo5engf0d1.png?width=1180&format=png&auto=webp&s=a388b95076125b0769b3f336a5807ea659dc5f29
4. Shigure Kira
Playing roles in both GGZ and HI3, Kira is an often overlooked multigame cast member. Shigure Kira seems like a prime candidate for Edo Star. Not only does she have a Japanese background, but she also fits perfectly with the one thing we do know about Edo: The music houses. Why? Because in HI3 Shigure Kira is an idol who cannot sing. Additionally, she's typically regarded as one of the strongest warriors around, which could allow her to fit both into the cultural landscape of Edo Star and the war with the Legion.
https://preview.redd.it/6p8xqmiehf0d1.png?width=625&format=png&auto=webp&s=9ca33251cec8d88d8597e19bf14b242e3a0d3813
5. Hokushin Mei
Raiden Mei's ancestor Hokushin Mei is mostly prevalent in GGZ. (Mei is the given name. It's not a direct lineage). It could be a way to bring in another Mei while tapping into a different identity.
https://preview.redd.it/0nnzlw9whf0d1.png?width=640&format=png&auto=webp&s=3cc4e36b82fb13302784d452ba07a436e668e733
6. Raiden Mei and Raiden Ryouma
Yes, I know, there's already Acheron. But we also have two Bronyas already! It's not unlikely another Raiden Mei would appear. The only think that makes me think she won't is that it could be considered a bit soon.
But another avenue they could explore is to instead use her dad. Ryouma. Appearing in both GGZ and HI3, but with a bigger role in GGZ, Ryouma is one of those dudes players would love to see playable, and HSR could be his first opportunity to become it.
https://preview.redd.it/lzymnpvnif0d1.png?width=1024&format=png&auto=webp&s=9c97e99b1ab1978d48fcc292b4f37d1aabf29156
7. Murata Himeko and Murata Ryusuke
Another Himeko?! Another Himeko. She is Japanese. It could be a good opportunity to delve into the Express Crew themselves running into variants.
Similar to with Ryouma, they could instead bring in Ryusuke. This could be especially interesting if he runs into Welt, as Earth's Ryuusuke tried to kill him before.
Making deals with eldritch beings to get space powers isn't something that'd be out of place in a plot about a war with the Legion.
https://preview.redd.it/e81vnr2vjf0d1.png?width=358&format=png&auto=webp&s=8bbc3636dc26a29efa7c5d1153ab60a49bdba294
8. Any fitting character from GGZ
While it's clear GGZ still influences the identities of the multigame cast (such as Seele's Belobog design taking from her Firemoth version), we have yet to see a character in HSR we can say beyond doubt is based on a GGZ character. GGZ does have a lot of characters tied to its Japan though, and several with Japanese backgrounds too. Perhaps Edo Star could give us the first. Perhaps not. We can't know until it happens.
https://preview.redd.it/6thpa5vklf0d1.png?width=617&format=png&auto=webp&s=6869be1a24a54285f4bcdbf99dd70d7e74980a94

And if it turns out we don't go to Edo Star after all.... Well, it was fun anyway.

What do you think? Will we be visiting Edo Star next? What do you think the planet will be like? What faces do you expect to see?

You know what they say, if at first you don't succeed....... something or another (P.S. pictures of me on my profile)
Searching for the "one" isnt easy, but what can we do aye? First things first, to throw some random bits of info out there about me! (Info dump incoming 😂)
I'm 24 and biracial! Half Irish and half African/northern Indian, and I'm living in the UK!
I'm approximately 6'0"-6'1" in height and id say an average/kept build. I also have somewhat long-ish hair for a guy, going near my shoulders, it's naturally straight! I also have a well kept somewhat shorter and neat beard :) I also have very fair skin. I guess I took physically more from one side of my heritage 😂🤌 I'm also a Muslim lad! So just putting that out there too for the sake of it.
I do enjoy binging on junk food but between my high metabolism and my physically active job working as an electrician (which I'm trying to fully establish myself in) I tend to never put any weight on 🤷
So! What am I looking for? Well it's a long shot. I'd like to imagine something like the female version of myself. My other half. Someone I find attractive, kind, easy going, fun to get along with, can hold a conversation without making it feel like a one sided effort and chore. Etc!
Important note!!!
IF you are not from the UK. Be aware relocating doesn't appear to be an option for me currently 😅 so bear that in mind please. I am open to a potential long distance but again. There's that.
I guess I'm the hopeless romantic type. Fantasising about soulmates, something real, serious, natural and everything great. Is that easy to obtain these days? Bruh. HECK no 😭 but can a guy try? Well, here's to hoping I suppose. Guess only time will tell
Anyone between the ages of 20-27 is welcome! Anyone who wants to actually get to know each other and dreams about something sincere and real! (With some fun stupidity and jokes thrown in there of course, that banter is a must🗿👍)
I like a woman with a little bit of confidence ya know? Probably one of the most attractive personality traits, who can hold a conversation and engage with the other person you know? Nothing more off putting than someone who gives single worded dead replies lol
Here's a bit more about me. My hobbies! my hobbies are various. I'd argue I'm an ambivert. Though my main hobbies lean towards something a little more introverted. You have hiking and the likes as well as going out with friends and driving around at night with them, but then you also have gaming which is a huge hobby of mine!!
So yeah! There's my shot being let out. I'd say I consider myself to be an honest and open book and would like someone who is open, honest and sincere in the same way!
Oh! And my preferred platform is Snap (:
So. Here's to hoping!

Very sorry that this got so long.
Hi all. I guess the best way to start this post is to give you some background info.
My best friend has been in my life since before I can remember. He is a few years older and is entirely integrated into my family. He lived at my house due to shitty circumstances during high school, he taught me to drive, he is as much a son to my mother as are myself and siblings, and he’s been considering moving back to our home state to be closer to her since she was diagnosed with a terminal illness. We also lived together out of state for a few years (where I met my girlfriend) before I moved back home and my girlfriend moved with me. Suffice to say, I trust him wholeheartedly and rationally know that he would never do anything to hurt me.
My girlfriend and I met got together while I was living with my friend. She is a wonderful partner and has never, ever given me pause to worry. We’ve been dating for 3 years and have barely had what could be considered a bump along the road.
I need to stress that in all of the time that the two of them have spent together I have never had even the faintest feeling that anything is wrong despite us all spending a lot of time together. Aside from a few months ago where I got a bit in my feelings one night and asked my girlfriend why she wouldn’t rather be with him than me considering they are VERY alike. Like similar to the point that it’s a bit of a joke that I just found the girl version of him to date.
Recently, as in last week, my girlfriend, siblings, friend in question, and myself all went on a week long vacation. There was nothing to prompt the feelings that I began to have, but out of nowhere I got a deep, sinking feeling in my gut that if something wasn’t going on between them, then there was at least a mutual attraction. Like I said, they get along really well and are very similar, but I’ve never had any reason to think this. They’re entirely appropriate in every way towards each other. Still, I couldn’t shake the feeling and it was absolutely killing me inside, causing me to see things that rationally I know weren’t there (thinking that I saw him looking at her, feeling like they’d always be next to each other, taking entirely normal jokes at my expense personally etc.) just normal shit that shouldn’t have seemed abnormal.
This brings me to the second to last day of the trip. I woke up and went to grab something from our hotel room balcony and I saw a bathing suit out there that I’m almost certain isn’t mine. When I asked my gf about it she said she had no clue and moved on like it was nothing. The issue is, I’m like 99% certain I only packed two suits, and this wasn’t one of them. It bothered me all day into the night when I eventually just went to his room and asked if it was his to which he immediately responded “no” without, it seemed to me, even looking at it.
I went back to my room and broke down to my girlfriend. I explained that no one had done anything wrong and that I had no idea why I felt the way that I did but that I was driving myself completely insane. My thoughts were that it stemmed from a feeling of inadequacy because he is doing a lot better than me life-wise (has a house, makes more money) and that I feel like she’d rather spend time with him than me. She calmed me down and reassured me that I was wrong in every way, that neither of them would ever do something so horrible to me, and that she loves me. She asked me not to say anything to him because she didn’t want things to be weird and he would 100% change the way that he acted if he knew that it was hurting me, rational or not.
I know that my thoughts are irrational, and I know that they’re the two most important people in my life, but now that we’re back from vacation and he’s hundreds of miles away I still can’t shake the feeling. That stupid fucken bathing suit is driving me insane, but in all reality, I probably packed it and forgot.
Does anyone have any advice on how to stop feeling like this? I don’t want to make my gf feel like I’m accusing her, but my gut will not let this go. Should I talk to my friend?
Thank you in advance to anyone that takes the time to read this and for any advice.

Hello , short version, only interested in something serious and longterm. USA strongly preferred.Absolutely no : History of abuse, Addiction, mens haircuts, Colored hair ( blue, pink etc) heavy drinkers, single moms, cigarette smokers , NEW ACCOUNTS, no activists on any level, NO Black woman, im sure there is more but mind is blank at the moment. \\\_\\\_\\\_\\\_\\\_\\\_\\\_\\\_\\\_\\\_\\\_\\\_\\\_\\\_\\\_\\\_\\\_\\\_\\\_\\\_\\\_\\\_\\\_\\\_\\\_\\\_\\\_\\\_\\\_\\\_\\\_\\\_\\\_\\\_\\\_\\\_\\\_\\\_I am looking for someone who is willing to actually put 50/50 effort into this. If you have zero desire to talk, check messages, respond in a timely manner etc we have absolutely ZERO to be talking about. I am very much over these types of interactions, I honestly dont get it haha. Communication is very key.\\\_\\\_\\\_\\\_\\\_\\\_\\\_\\\_\\\_\\\_\\\_\\\_\\\_\\\_\\\_\\\_\\\_\\\_\\\_\\\_\\\_\\\_\\\_\\\_\\\_\\\_\\\_\\\_\\\_\\\_\\\_\\\_\\\_\\\_\\\_\\\_\\\_\\\_\\\_\\\_\\\_\\\_\\\_\\\_\\\_\\\_\\\_\\\_\\\_\\\_\\\_\\\_\\\Brief info about me : Enjoy all things true crime related ( podcasts, documentaries etc), I listen to all types of music to the point its just easier for me to say if I like it, ill listen to it period. If you saw me in person and then saw my Spotify it would probably shock you, not in a bad way though haha. I like to cook and BBQ when weather permits although I have been slacking on the bbq aspect lately. I use to compete with my exes father and it was a ton of fun. learned alot of things and made some amazing ribs and chicken. I love to try new foods when possible, id love to travel more, I do enjoy cruises, im pretty laid back type of person in the sense im open to whatever as long as it isnt lame.Please be 420 friendlyIts really pointless to write a lot here considering most messages are fake accounts / bots. Please send your basic info when you message instead of just "hi". Name, Location, age please thanks. Also be ready to exchange photos, if as an adult you "cant" do that, please dont message me lol.

A candid reflection of my first solo trip:
It was on my first night in Japan that I forgot I was alone. Tokyo’s Shinjuku district greeted me with bright neon lights illuminating flocks of tourists walking shops, arcades, and food stands. And somehow, I was a very small part of it, all by myself on the other side of the world. (Maybe with the occasional tout trying to follow me around.)
Solitude is a vulnerable state, and consequently, a compromise. You seize the moment for yourself, and the space is only yours to fill, but intrusive thoughts will covertly slip through and permeate like a disease. Underneath all the lights, humanity surrounded me, enjoying a drink with friends or snapshotting a moment with family. All these people congregated here from around the world, and in spite of their differences, companionship was what they all shared together. The streets filled with the sounds of their life.
But when you feel alone, the mind tricks you into believing that you are not part of it. And you become a silent spectator, watching the phenomenon that is humanity being orchestrated in front of you. It’s a hollow feeling.
And after not speaking and hearing the sound of your own voice for a while, it becomes replaced by a solemn tone whispering empty thoughts. I tried not to listen.
Nevertheless, Tokyo was beautiful (Senso-ji temple was stunning and my favorite Japanese dessert is now age manju). One night, I even went to a Japanese hip-hop show in Shibuya and it was a wonderful experience. Getting to watch such extremely talented artists so passionate about their craft inspired me and pulled me away from ruminating loneliness for some time. I met one of the performing artists after the show and told him how much I loved his verse (despite not understanding it) and we hugged and he cried. He thanked me over and over until he started apologizing for thanking me so much. It was a special moment and I will always remember his humility. (His band is KOMOREBI - check them out!).
I also went out with some other travelers that night, trying okonomiyaki in Setagaya for the first time (it was mouthful bliss) and then went out to a punk rock concert, and a night club. I wasn’t a huge fan of the clubbing, but the company was refreshing. And like all good things, it was fleeting, and I bid my farewell to everyone that night.
I packed my things, and took a bullet train to my next stop, Kyoto. I was anticipating it, as the train zoomed south with Mount Fuji in surreal, passing view. Looking out the window, seeing my own transparent reflection, I took a breath. The train was moving at around 300 km/hour, but everything felt still and quiet. Even the parts of me that wanted to cry.
Kyoto was rich with temples and vestiges of a long, cherished history. I visited the Kyoto National Museum where I saw sculptured deities with venerable auras, parables scripted in decayed scrolls, and art that embodied Buddhist principles. I saw elevated temples monumental and grand, and others more modest and reserved. But they all stood resolutely, bearing the resilience of time and constant revival. They have felt desecration during arson and natural disasters, but throughout history, the Japanese have rebuilt and renovated them. And somehow, after enduring all this, as long as time has persisted, here they stood before me, as a testament to strength and preservation.
The long-lasting principles of Buddhism and the culture that were so deeply rooted in this country’s history must continue to live on through the structures that stood before me. Purpose is enough to withstand the cruelty of time’s passage. And the cycle of destruction and restoration that traced centuries was felt in the emanating silence only occupied by the sounds of water trickling down a rill or the occasional soft, swaying of trees. I like to think that ancient silence had touched my existence in those moments and advised me to listen.
Solitude is painful because the empty space that comes with it is congregated by the deeper parts of ourselves that seek to dwell on the purpose of our existence. It is when we are alone and quiet that obtrusive questions confront us, invoking us to listen and contemplate. And when we fail to answer gracefully, that is when the loudest and most self-destructive parts of ourselves will answer for us. The parts that are so keen in stripping our humanity from us.
After my last day in Kyoto, I packed all my things once again, and went over to my final destination, Osaka. I had only one night there. And it was an abrupt return to bustling crowds in the metropolitan. Existential silences were replaced with the sounds of humanity again. But as I walked through Dotonbori on a Friday night eating lots of warm, delicious takoyaki and skewers of Kobe beef, that feeling still returned. I knew I was unwell. And trivialities started to begrudge me and I could tell that it was time. And there would be no escaping it.
I took a taxi back to my hotel and I laid in my bed earlier than expected that night. And everything finally spilled. I cried and I cried and I cried. I was finally listening and it hurt doing so.
This solo trip was supposed to help me escape my problems, but it didn’t. When I brought myself here, I brought everything, and that included problems I wish I could have left behind. And amidst my issues, I questioned myself and my place in the world, even my very reasons for existing during times I felt like I had nobody. And albeit having wonderful moments with people throughout my trip, even strangers who treated me with grace and hospitality, that feeling still lingered and it was revealing a deeper issue. An issue not with whether I was in Japan or back home. Or whether I had people around me or I was alone. It was a deeper issue with myself.
But the silence that comes after the storm is just as serene as the silence that precedes. The older I get, the more I begin to have a respect for emotions and their function. They must be felt and I don’t think they are there to harm or sabotage us, although it might seem like it. It is a need to be heard not by others, but by ourselves. Listening to our own cries for help is scary and uncomfortable, but the silence that follows is like an aged temple still standing after centuries of cyclical adversity. Like the calm flow of water down a rill. Like the soft swaying of trees.
My 10-day solo trip was coming to an end. It was coming time to go home. I spent my last day in Tokyo walking Yoyogi Park. The sky was a clear melancholy overhead scattered, naked trees around the park. I saw couples sitting together, friends circled on picnic blankets, and some reading a book by themselves. Humanity felt beautiful that day and I was grateful to be a part of it, one last time. I packed my things once more before taking my flight back home the next day.
I love Japan and I am grateful it carved a space for me to experience all that I did. This trip will forever hold a special place in my heart. But it was not an epiphany, as much as I wished it was. I did not return home as an entirely new person with newfound happiness or certainty. I returned with the same issues I left with, the same, flawed self that was proof of what it meant to be human this whole time. Only with new experiences. And I don’t think that will change.
My humanity lives in my constant struggle of self-preservation, as I continue to unravel and understand myself as I experience, feel, and change. And perhaps that is enough purpose for my own existence, to strive for those moments of silence, where I will continue to stand resolutely in my own imperfection, alone or not.

Google is using its annual developer conference to showcase what the company is calling its lightest and most efficient artificial intelligence models.
At Google I/O on Tuesday, the company announced Gemini 1.5 Flash, the newest addition to the Gemini model series.
“We heard from developers that they wanted something faster and even more cost effective,” said Demis Hassabis, CEO of Google DeepMind, in a press briefing.
The unveiling comes as tech companies increasingly refocus their product development and rollouts around generative AI, which is of particular importance to Google because the new tools give consumers more advanced and creative ways to access online information compared to traditional web search.
OpenAI on Monday launched a new AI model and desktop version of ChatGPT, along with a new user interface. The new model, GPT-4o, is twice as fast as GPT-4 Turbo and half the cost, the company said.
Google also announced an improved Gemini 1.5 Pro model, which has the ability to make sense of multiple large documents — 1,500-pages total — or summarize 100 emails, according to a vice president working on Gemini.
Gemini 1.5 Pro will soon be able to handle an hour of video content, or codebases with more than 30,000 lines, Hsiao said.
“You can quickly get answers and insights about dense documents, like figuring out the details of the pet policy in your rental agreement or comparing key arguments of multiple long research papers,” Hsiao said.
OpenAI’s latest upgrade, announced this week, brings with it improved quality and speed of ChatGPT for 50 different languages. It will also be available via OpenAI’s application programming interface (API), allowing developers to begin building applications using the new model immediately, executives said.
With 35 languages, Google says Gemini 1.5 Pro has a 2 million token window, which measures context and indicates how much information the model is able to process at once. The new model has improved local reasoning, planning and image understanding, company executives said.
“It offers the longest context window of any foundational model yet,” Alphabet CEO Sundar Pichai said in the press briefing. At the event, he gave an example of a parent asking Gemini to summarize all recent emails from their child’s school.
Gemini 1.5 Pro will initially be available for testing in Workspace Labs. Gemini 1.5 Flash will be available for testing and in Vertex AI, which is Google’s machine learning platform that lets developers train and deploy AI applications.
Source: https://www.cnbc.com/2024/05/14/google-announces-lightweight-ai-model-gemini-flash-1point5-at-google-i/o.html

Today’s review is for Tales of the EdgeWorlds Volume 1 by Shawn Frost. I was given an ARC copy back in July of 2023, but didn’t finish reading it until recently because I bogged myself down with too many activities, and something this long takes me a while. I will go through the things I liked about it, the things I hated, and wrap it up with a score from 1-10. My scoring system goes through 5 key components, with each one going over the creative aspect and the technical aspect. I will explain that part when we get to scoring later on, so let’s plow on through.
This is a collection, about 266 pages long, and is meant to be the first installment of a comedy series. Shawn runs a Youtube channel where he covers lolcows and does gaming streams, so comedy should come naturally to him. As a volume, this holds 4 short stories, each one holding about 8 chapters, with each story running for about 20k words. Technically, we can say it’s 4 novelettes, but as I explain the situation, you’ll see why they are so long. The plot may seem complex but the main characters go through the same situations: the dimensional merge occurred, between all of our creative properties and C-197, with a group of rambunctious penguins doing mercenary work.
Sadly, it’s not really the Chris-Chan version of a dimensional merge, so we do not see Sonichu or any of that wacky world… yet. It's volume 1, so it's too early to say it's not open to the possibilities. The style runs close to internet memes and those old Newgrounds cartoons, with the focus aimed at action scenes and descriptions of the creative world around their setups. But, as you read through the massive amount of descriptions and banter, you'll realize that very little happens in each story. I would say each one is very simple and with a low reading level needed to get through them, which is a double-edged sword in this case.
I say this because the writing tries too hard to claim a joke was made when it wasn’t really a “ha-ha” joke to begin with. It’s more like “ah… humor is detectable somewhere in these pages” kind of comedy. It relates to the offensive animals of Fritz the Cat, where the comedy comes from the absurdity of a setup, rather than a punchline that is found. Unfortunately, because the satire is absent and it focuses too much on the premise, the result becomes more like my favorite episode of Heil Honey I’m Home, minus Hitler and his annoying neighbors. The banter bogs down the pacing, turning each chapter into a short, yet overly long, sample of a scene, chained together by constantly shifting points of view.
Thankfully, this simple way of approaching a story allows a casual reader to speed on by. Things are easy to follow and characters are easy to remember. The main cast of Edgy, Jeff, Todd, and Hylus are separated by their brand of chaotic addictions. Addiction to drugs, addiction to hentai, addiction to video games, addiction to murder; all greatly expressed in what are meant to be running gags that resemble a sitcom cast. The ship they travel around in, from job to job, can easily be imagined as a "That '70s Show basement" version of the ship in The Orville, as each story goes to different planets where they meet different aliens.
There is enough in each story to understand what is going on, with the stories more as an exploration of lore than an exploration of character or theme. The lack of focus, as well as the indifferent prose, harms the way each tale is told. I would never say these are bad ideas or bad concepts, just bad ways to get them across. High concept, low composition. I would say the main value is from the promise of more to come than what is presented in the pages.
Time for the rating, which will be given between 0-2. 1 point goes to the technical aspect and 1 point goes to the creative side of things. Flaws within a point will reduce it into smaller decimals, but a single aspect is not able to entirely kill a story on its own. If it’s all technical or all creative, a story will be treated as mediocre. Even if I like something, it is still possible to get a 5/10, meaning it’s not suitable for the average reader who is more accepting of a 7 or an 8.
Plot: 1.5 Things happen and people go places in the form of a violent travelog. The pacing bogs down the destination with tourist traps.
Characters: 1.5 The characters play their roles well, even though their roles don’t play well with the plot. Their banter and quirks fall flat in parts.
Prose: 1 With clear points between A and B, wet and sloppy ideas are delivered dry and brittle. With each paragraph shoving lore down the reader’s throat, it can become death by a thousand detours.
Theme: 1 There is a great message about how chaos and anarchy transforms people into primitive animals. Unfortunately, the author couldn’t find it in the infinite vastness of subspace.
Setting : 2 It is a world you want to know more about and look forward to the next bit of info. Creative, exotic, to the proper point of chaotic, yet still comprehensible. Everything about this book is in the setting.
Final verdict: 7/10
The book is niche, it takes a while to heat up, and even then it’s as appealing as a mystery flavor hot pocket. If you’re into absurdity, you will enjoy it. I just wish the absurdity had some life behind it. There is room for expansion and I hope that opportunity is taken.

Hey all!
Today's battle report is a 1000pt. Simple Battle, featuring a terrain piece that is pretty unique! Once again, my opponent is the dastardly daisucce. Per his request, the center of the map is dominated by a massive boring drill. The center control point is in the middle of it, with two arms (in green) that rotate 90 degrees clockwise after each Round. The center point is on elevated High Ground indestructible terrain; the arms are not invulnerable, however. Surrounding this is a massive black hole made by the drill; any units that fall in are considered destroyed by the massive bore.
Principality of Zeon
I used a refined version of the strategy I employed in my first Roll20 Game; headed up by my Gouf Flight Type Ace and an Ace Gaw, both of which had Grand Strategist/Strategic Captain. Using the Captain's Order to increase movement speed, Dynamic Entrance, and a ton of Focus Actions, my goal is to break through the enemy lines as fast as possible to swarm daisucce 's higher priority units and secure the victory. To support this, I have a flight of Dopp Fighters, who can use elevated terrain easily due to their flight speed, trying to ping in chip damage and force activations with their relatively long range Aircraft Missiles.

• x1 Gouf Flight Type Ace Commander
  • Grand Strategist
  • Unyielding
  • Dynamic Entrance
  • Awe-Inspiring Arrival
• x2 Dom
  • Machine Gun
  • Dynamic Entrance
  • Ambusher
• x3 Zaku II
  • Dynamic Entrance
  • TL Missile Pods
• x6 Dopp Fighter
• x1 Ace Gaw Carrier
  • Strategic Captain

Earth Federation Forces
daisucce and I brainstormed a strategy before this that might be to his liking. He has a particular affinity for Gundam Unit 4's Mega Bazooka Launcher, and wanted an army that could field two of them while having fodder take the heat. Using some input, this is what he came up with. He's going to use Pilot Traits with heavy Momentum generation, then further fuel his Momentum with a swarm of cannon fodder, using Rallying Leader to generate fuel for his death rays.

• x2 Gundam Unit 04 Ace
  • Immortal
  • Driven
  • One of these is the Commander with Rallying Leader
• x6 GM Early Type
  • x2 Machine Gun
  • x4 Beam Spray Gun
• x8 Fly Manta

Round 1
I launch all of my units, except the Gouf Flight Type from the Gaw Carrier; the Carrier and Gouf give a pair of Focus Actions to my Doms and Zakus, then declare the Captain's Order to Take The Fight To Them!, increasing Movement Speed by +5" and Melee Block +1 for all my units. Seizing initiative, my Gouf Flight Ace zooms to the center control point, nearly knocks out a GM with its High Ground TA, then moves back to capture the point. It vainly returns fire. I move a Dopp in and fire off missiles; I'm trying to force daisucce to not immediately fire off his G04 Launchers, while also not giving him Momentum from killing his stuff. He responds by killing the Dopp, I move in and knock out the GM Early that killed it with a Zaku II TL Missile Pod attack with two Focus Actions.
He moves a GM Early onto the boring drill arm to attack my Gouf, but Awe Inspiring Arrival, a Shield, and Guard prevent any hits from connecting. My Doms move in, their enhanced speed letting them easily tear apart the offending GM with High Ground by popping their Focus Actions and laying into it with Machine Guns. Meanwhile, the G04's move onto the building they're behind, gain High Ground (equal level with the Gouf Flight Type) and try and fail to shoot it with Beam Rifles thanks to Unyielding.
Soon after, the Fly Mantas and Dopps engage, Ace Combat music obviously blaring in the background. My Dopps have a Movement Speed advantage thanks to the Captain's Order, with some also using the nearby terrain to gain TA and thus some free hits. The remainder of the Round involves some position jockeying, and my Gaw moving into position to provide close support, its movement speed doubled thanks to Full Throttle and the Captain's Order!
Round 2
Both players have started this Round with 10 Momentum due to how the last one went. Tension is in the air, and the Drill Arms move 90 degrees.
daisucce wins the die roll, and proceeds to dump bombs on my Dom. Rude! Being within its Sensors Range, the 10 Attack, 100 Damage Small Bombing Run is actually pretty good from a 10 Point Unit. My Dom moves back slightly, lights up the Fly Manta with a Machine Gun, then Melees a different one to death.
This is where things go wrong.
Using Tear Through The Ranks, daisucce has his Commander G04 activate, fire off the Mega Bazooka Launcher with High Ground TA against one group of my forces, fire off again and hit my Gaw and, then fire off a Beam Rifle at my Gouf Flight Type.. I lose all of my Zakus, most of my Dopps, and 1/3rd of my Gaw's HP. Amazingly, the drill arm survived all of this, and my Commander didn't take any hits (but had to use Unyielding.) He responds by bum-rushing the other, using High Speed Attack TA to try to kick the other G04 off the platform so it would lose LoS from activating its own death beam. This doesn't go so well, so I move my Gouf between the two, hoping that keeping them locked in Engagement Range with an Unyielding Commander would lock him down well enough. I manage to survive two bouts of Melee Clash with his G04 using Tear Through The Ranks, but he gains 4 Momentum from his Pilot Traits! Despite my best efforts, I lose one of my Doms to more Bombing Runs and High Ground Beam Spray Rifle Hits just inside of Target Lock... the situation has become completely hopeless, with a huge Momentum disparity, so I concede the game at the end of Round 2.
Conclusion
I'll be the first to say it; I played this completely wrong. My forces should have been more spread out, probably into three groups, and I should have placed down terrain more favorable for stacking up behind. If I could play this one again, I'd have tried using a different formation. This team is great, but I think it might have been a bad matchup; if I used Skilled Pilots, I could have tried to ignore his meatshield walls and focused on the Gundams.
Oh well! You learn more from losing than winning. daisucce has come a long way!

I prayed asr and before asr I was in the toilet for a very long time after defficating and I was cleaning out a*us which took me long to clean and then there was a few mins before salah started and I started to rush and went a little deeper to keep confirming but I barely wiped when I did go deep but there was no stain and even at the time I wasn’t sure if I had wiped properly since I kind of rushed it and since I saw no stains
I left immediately and did wudu and then prayed which I missed due to me dealing with waswas aswell as me being in the toilet for too long and after a prayer I still had that gut feeling that I didn’t wipe properly so I went toilet and started cleaning again and found two tiny dots
but idk if that was from me passing wind before going toilet (if it’s possible for wind to cause dirt on my insides) again or if I already had this Najis and bare in mind I already suspected it but wasn’t too sure and wasn’t thinking about it during my salah and thought about it again after and found a tiny bit of Najis and now unsure if I should restart my salah since I had prior suspicion
Pls give me a quick responses another asr prayer form another mosque will start soon

As we are getting a trailer for a much changed version of the Second Age today, I decided I would share what a first season in a series might look like for the story of Tolkien’s Second Age, while staying very close to the timeline and characters. I’ve taken some ideas I’ve seen from other creators who have made similar attempts at this, namely Council of Rings and Tolkien Untangled, but most are my own. As of now I’m not aware of a complete outline that exists for the first season of this sort of adaptation. In any case, this outline is essentially a summary of a complete text with 10 chapters that exists but is still in progress.
I’ve split the season into 10 episodes, as I think that’s ideal, and into pairs of 3-episode arcs I call Sagas, which will cover certain time periods. But each of these sagas will more or less function like a contained story, following certain characters during periods of their lives. And each is about 3 episodes between 50-60 minutes, meaning each is the length of a long film.
I started with a compressed timeline where season 1 would take place between 1200-1600, starting with the year Annatar arrives in Ost-in-Edhil. In this timeline Tar-Aldarion would essentially switch places with Tar-Surion. I think that the actual canon timeline allows for a very interesting look at the differences in passage of time between elves, Númenoreans, and Middle Men. It's more challenging but also more rewarding. The drawbacks of the canon timeline are that Aldarion dies close to mid-season, whereas in the compressed timeline we could follow Aldarion as he ages throughout the season. Therefore the whole season takes place between SA 725 and SA 1600.
That being said, there are still a few alterations and non-canon additions. The big alteration is that Annatar steals the nine when he leaves Eregion around SA 1500, instead of when he destroys Ost-in-Edhil around SA 1695. The other non-canon additions are Middle Men characters, which there are few examples during this time period, that Annatar can begin to seduce with the Rings of Power.
This was just a bunch of fun for me, but I hope this effort will demonstrate that we can have a great story that stays faithful to Tolkien’s timeline and characters.

Sagas of the Second Age: Season 1
Saga 1 (Episodes 1-3): The Mariner (covering events from SA 725-750)
Elrond. In the first prologue scene around SA 440, Elros as an old man arrives in Mithlond to visit his brother Elrond. Elros is fulfilling a promise to Elrond to visit him when he senses death is near. The two brothers spend time together before Elros departs back for Númenor.
Aldarion. Three hundred years later around SA 725 in Númenor, Aldarion and Erendis witness the corination of his father Tar-Meneldur in Armenelos. The next day, Aldarion sets out from Númenor with his grandfather to spend a year at the court of High King Gil-galad, but he is told by Meneldur not to go beyond Mithlond. Eventually, Aldarion decides to travel outside Mithlond, against his father’s wishes. Elrond offers to join him, seeing an opportunity to spend time with his brother’s descendant. Together they discover the dwarf cities of Ered Luin, and then the future site of Vinyalondë at the mouth of the Gwathló. Aldarion discovers the that the Men of Middle-earth are not as evil as he was told by his family in Númenor, and that some even speak the same language of the Edain that he does. Elrond and Aldarion then travel to Amroth’s kingdom in Belfalas. While Amroth is showing Aldarion the black lands of Mordor in the distance, they are ambushed by orcs, and narrowly escape with their lives. Before departing back for Númenor, Aldarion says goodbye to his new friend Elrond and the High King Gil-galad. Back in Númenor, Aldarion meets Erendis again and proposes to her. She asks if he is done with his travels, he says he is, and she accepts.
High King Gil-galad. Gil-galad endeavors to heal the trauma of Middle-earth. While Aldarion is travelling the lands of Middle-earth, he goes to settle a conflict between kingdoms of Gwaithirum and Breeland. A battle ensues between these kingdoms of Men and Gil-galad is unable to stop it. Before Aldarion departs back for Númenor, Gil-galad tells him that he would very much welcome his help in mediating the conflicts of the tribes of Middle-earth, as Aldarion speaks their language. Gil-galad perceives the return of the shadow of Morgoth, and departs to discover the source.
Galadriel. By lake Evendim, Galadriel admits Celebrimbor into her company. Despite the history of their families and some initial distrust between them, they realize they have a shared vision for continuing the great works of Gondolin. Together they discover the dwarf kingdom of Kazad-dûm. Galadriel is able to convince the dwarves of the mutual benefit of their cooperation in crafting. Durin III is eventually convinced, he agrees to allow and to help with the establishment of the future capital of Eregion: Ost-in-Edhil. There the works of the Noldor and dwarves will benefit each other for many centuries.

Saga 2 (Episodes 4-6): The Stirring of Númenor (Covering events from SA 1075-1350)
Elrond. About three hundred years later in SA 1075, Elrond arrives in Númenor to see his friend, now king, Tar-Aldarion. He is also tasked to ask the Númenoreans to prepare for war, as Gil-galad is now certain of the return of the shadow of Morgoth. Tar-Aldarion, now an old man, has reached an age where he must yeild the sceptre, in the tradition of the Kings of Númenor. He decides to leave Númenor’s official response to Elrond as a decision to his sucessor. Aldarion has only had one daughter Ancalimë with Erendis, and it is clear that there has been much friction in the marriage. His sister’s son Soronto is the nearest male heir. This situation causes a conflict in Armenelos between supporters of Soronto and supporters of Ancalimë, also between those who want to heed Gil-galad's call and those who don't. Ancalimë is seen as the elf-friend, while Soronto is staunchly against the armament of Númenor. Aldarion decides to change the law succession in Númenor in favor of Ancalimë. When Ancalimë is crowned, she reverses her initial position to heed Gil-galad, and decides to preserve Númenor as a land of peace.
Galadriel. Ost-in-Edhil is a great city now, and both elves and dwarves are seen thriving. A visitor from Aman arrives who calls himself Annatar. He demonstrates himself to be akin to the Noldor in his love and expertise with crafts, and says he was a student of Aüle. He wins the favor of Celebrimbor and the Gwaith-i-Mírdain, the crafter's guild, and soon becomes the favored partner of Celebrimbor. As the friction between Galadriel and Annatar increases, Annatar moves the Gwaith-i-Mírdain turn on Galadriel. She decides to depart to Lórinand by route of Kazad-dûm with her daughter Celebrían, while Celeborn stays behid in Eregion. Galadriel is graciously welcomed in Kazad-dûm, and her relationship with the dwarves grows greater. At last, she arrives in Lórinand and meets the King Amdír.

Saga 3 (Episodes 7-9): The Rings of Power (covering events from SA 1500-1590)
Celebrimbor. More than a hundred years later, sixteen Rings of Power are forged in Ost-in-Edhil. Celebrimbor and the Gwaith-i-Mírdain agree that seven of the rings should be gifted to the dwarven kings, as a token of thanks for their help in building Ost-in-Edhil. Celebrimbor, however, decides that the rings are too dangerous for Men. Annatar and Celebrimbor have a heated disagreement on this point, and Annatar accuses Celebrimbor of withholding the bliss of Aman from Middle-earth. Annatar absconds with the remaining nine rings. Sensing that he has been deceived, Celebrimbor crafts the Three in secret. He gives two to Gil-galad, and the remaining to Galadriel, and admits that he was wrong to doubt her.
Gil-galad. Minastir, the heir of Númenor, stays in the halls of Gil-galad as Aldarion once did. Minastir meets with the descendants of the Middle Men Adlarion befriended, though many more generations have passed for them than for Minastir. Aldarion’s travels are a tale that some believe to be myth. Gil-galad and Minastir travel the lands of Eriador and mediate the conflicts of Middle Men.
Elrond. Elrond travels to Númenor for the first time in several hundred years on order of High King Gil-galad to implore once more that the Númenóreans to prepare for war. Tar-Teleprian, the second Queen of Númenor, rules in Númenor now. When Elrond arrives and presents the request of Gil-galad, there is a conflict between supporters of Ancalimë’s policy of isolation and those who believe that they should heed Gil-galad, the latter being lead by the Lord of Andunië – Silmariën’s heir. When Elrond presents further evidence that the shadow of Morgoth has returned, Tar-Teleprian ultimately decides that Númenor must prepare for war.
Annatar. Annatar begins seducing the Kings of Men and gifting rings. Annatar arrives in the halls of a Gwaithirum king called Halmir, a descendant of one of the generals of the battle in the first saga. Annatar tells Halmir that the Noldor are withholding the power of prolonged life from mortals, and gifts him a ring. As Halmir is an elf-friend, his ancestors all being loyal to High King Gil-galad, he refuses Annatar’s suggestion. Eventually, Halmir succumbs to his curiosity and doubt and puts the ring on, entering the Realm of Shadows. He perceives immediately that his decay has been slowed, and indeed that the Noldor may have deceived him.

Saga 4 (Episode 10): Orodruin (1600)
Sauron crafts the One Ring in Orodruin, and Barad-dûr, the largest fortress ever built, has been completed. We Annatar standing on at the height of Barad-dûr wearing the One, below his vast legions of orcs.
As soon as the One Ring has been crafted, Galadriel, Celebrimbor, and the others realize they have been deceived and that Annatar was in fact Sauron, and they remove their rings.
The Men who received Rings of Power from Sauron realize too late they are deceived, as they are completely subservient now to the will of Sauron.

I decided to do it in a summery short version because I don’t want to feel like a tease or keeping you guys waiting I won’t drop names or specific location mostly things that has to do with the recovery and time on mdma pills
How I obtained the bags : me and my friend found a good trustworthy source and decided to buy bulk while the legit pills where around they where a variety of different shapes some basic like angry birds , 1up mushrooms,teslas until the second bag we where planning on both using and selling only during festival season or for summer more party like seasons which we would take a certain amount with us that event to sell
While we did test the top of the bags which was cleared for mdma I won’t lie and say we tested the whole batches but can vouch every pill had the same effect idk
The good : while my time on mdma i had social experiences I never would of had otherwise it helped me understand a lot about my depression and anxiety along with social anxiety in big crowds. Another thing was connecting with people in a deeper level really understanding the full spectrum of deep emotion found alot of new and odd music that I still listen to that I am grateful for completely took away doubt in terms of trying new things or going new places with out those little shapes I don’t think I would’ve had a glimpse of normal life without depression and anxiety.
It sure in hell helped me creatively not that I wasn’t without it because as a hobby I love designing and concepting things such as films ,books , animation even found that I’m pretty decent at rock music well back up vocals but that’s the beauty ig finding some sort of new talent
Where I messed up at is falling I love with the therapeutic aspect of it because I would take it a lot solo and dig with in my self to completely understand every aspect as well as other aspects of people psyche it was so refreshing to connect in this way… non the less good things can’t last for ever.
Lol as for pleasure ehhh I mean yes can be horny but not as it seems in media also for my males out there dude be ready for e dick 🤣 aka the shrivels
What it really helped me with is coming to terms with wounds from exs that never fully healed or suppressed especially with a girl which was my first long term relationship 5 yes
Helped me plan/focus on a way I wanted to be and self improvement I won’t say this for everyone though depends on how you use mdma
Helped alot with ptsd letting shit go and setting rules/boundaries
Had some killer work out sessions and improve my combat sports technique along with performance also actually listening taking in the coaching
The bad
The sweet release and momentum you get from them leads you to taking them everyday for me ig to be more consistent in mental mood (even though this would have the reverse opposite coming off the first year bad )
I found my self building a tolerance leading to dosing 3 times a day or taking a couple half’s max no I’m not a mad man I think I would be dead hell I’m not sure how I’m not dead with the abuse lol but sure I’m hell ain’t the same
I won’t say all the connection but a quarter of them where fake ig or not intense for the person once completely sober it can lead to of alot of truthful moments maybe not ready to be touched on or maybe the person/oneself can’t handle. Can say Boths builds or destroy relationships/friendships
The brain fog on brakes are shit depending on how active your day is can be tolerable what sucks it’s the frequent space outs and irritability
Idk if other hard users have or do experience this but frequent sleep paralysis no audio or visual hallucinations though
Please please I stress stay hydrated with water or the frequent urination will persist took me months after for it to get better still piss like a racing horse more then usual
Ehhhh depending on diet and fitness I found my self bouncing between 150 to 205 male in his 20s it will knock your hunger sometimes not eating half of the day
Some days finding myself wasting the day away hyper focusing on few things and not finishing them getting distracted
Another part where I messed up at was dosing in the morning I feel my not giving my body time to naturally register and then simply rolling to frequent
Leading up to the ugly I did take a month break but one night the night of clarity was when I started back up took 4 in a day idk how I didn’t od but definitely got serotonin syndrome which was hell lasted a couple days well the side effects
The ugly aka after
Dude the first year was hell I won’t lie mostly mental can’t say I suffered to many physical effects besides easier for body temperature to rise and memory
The first year was almost unbearable I’m a way it feels like a chemical lobotomy no emotions just the most intense extreme sadness sometimes not leaving my room
Weaker vision like in terms I can’t focus on things long like I use to before blurring or higher sensitivity to light/sun
Restless leg syndrome for a couple months and a cloud of anxious feelings Ovr your head like say when you’re in highschool and you get called out after school to fight the next day at lunch
Times of just spacing out staring straight forward
Chills and inconsistent body temperature
Robotic emotional responses noooo not even my favorite songs triggered anything it was just like blabbering in the background while I spaced out
Bad short term memory lost this has gotten better now on year two but memory issues still persist like if I want to remember a fun memory I have to really sit and think also not very vivid as it use to be to described in a story
No interest in simple human interaction such as a short convo improved after half a year clean
alot of light headedness through out day to day task with shortness of breath and heart palpitations but these all have dissipated thank god
It was weird for half a week one pupil was dilated
Frequent urination although has gotten way better i still have to piss more then I use to
This is a shitpost summery I will make a cleaner more detailed description of each part separately but feel free to ask questions below I just didn’t want to keep you guys waiting I’m pretty sure I’m missing some stuff but hey I’ll get it in the full individual post.

In this life, I've harbored no ambitions nor goals merely a vivid dream ---a lonely dream where I sit beside an island, gradually consumed by the waves , dying without ever being known, seen or remembered.
I wonder if this is the reason as to why I don’t have any grand ambitions, or a will to truly live and discover things that would fulfill me. I have never found anything worth investing my time in, except observing the joy in people’s smiles. As much of a cunt as I am, I rejoice making people happy.
For me, I gain little happiness by doing things for myself, yet I love second-hand happiness, the smiles and the giggles, they rile me up, giving me a high that no drug ever could. But some days I question to myself if this even is the proper way to be happy.
I despise this part of me.
I have never truly loved someone in my life; I’ve only ever devoted myself to them.
I wish I knew what love felt like, what liking someone felt like, what being kind felt like, what infatuation must feel like.
I just wished to feel emotions, any emotion other than bottled-up rage.
I’ve locked my heart away, my upbringing wasn’t very kind to me, nor was my own brain, so I locked parts of me that I didn’t like, the parts my caretakers disapproved of, the parts that my so-called friends rejected, the part that I thought this world wouldn’t accept, and now I’ll lock this memory away too, because, well, its easy, so much easier than peeling my skin back and solving me, confronting myself, solving this puzzle called my life.
I feel broken, I have lived my life for so long being a secondary character in my own story that I have forgotten how to be ME?
But sometimes I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror and smile, cause well, What if not figuring out me is, ME?
What if my entire journey in this life were about forging myself into ME?
That gives me hope, that makes me want to be saved, saved from this dreadful feeling of not knowing me in my entirety, the feeling of being a fake version of me.
I want to be saved.

I (38 F) have been married to my husband (41 M) for 7 years, this coming June and together for 9 years. We have two kids, twin boys, that are 5 months old. I'm going to give a long backstory so stay with me or scroll to the bottom for the TL;DR.
2 weeks before Mother's Day, I found out my husband had been cheating on me for at least 7 months. I used his phone to use the Lowe's app to order lawn chairs since it's tied to our Lowe's card and I wanted to use our rewards. While I was looking for the particular set I want, he received a Snapchat notification from a woman. I didn't even know he had Snapchat so it peaked my interest. During this time, my husband was mowing the grass.
I open the snap and it's a nude of a woman looking to be in her mid-20s with the caption "I miss you being inside of me". My jaw hit the floor. I started going through his text messages and there were no conversations there with other women except employees from his practice (he is a dermatologist) that were harmless.
I started looking through his Snapchat and I guess he deletes everything because there were no chats between him and this woman. I am not familiar with Snapchat so I Google how to use it while I'm trying to figure out if I can retrieve deleted messages. I don't want to spend all the time I have left of him mowing reading through articles so I give up. I do go through his friend's list and end up coming back to it to take a picture of with my phone.
I look through the rest of the apps on his phone and they all seem benign except this secure folder. I open it and there's a passcode. I try three or four until I figure it out (the date of our first date, ironically) and it opens. There are dozens of nude photos of at least 3 women, including the woman from Snapchat. I know it's the woman from Snapchat because she has a very distinct tattoo on her stomach. Not only are there nudes but there are 2 videos of this same woman giving him oral.
My heart felt like it was trying to come out of my chest. I started shaking and tears started flowing. I took a few deep breaths to calm myself down and then grabbed my phone and started taking pictures of the evidence. I even recorded clips of the videos, I just couldn't watch them in their entirety.
I look through all the apps again and realize that maybe he has some hidden. So, I google hidden apps on android and follow the instructions. Three apps were hidden. Two messaging apps and a hook-up app called Adult friend finder. I debated even opening them because I was so scared of what I would find. But I ended up viewing them because knowing is better than not knowing for me.
He had been messaging at least 4 different women, including the video girl. He had sex with at least two of them that I found proof of. All messages made me sick but the video girl's messages were the worst and completely shattered my heart. I had to stop to go throw up because of the stress and anxiety.
Some messages that hurt me the most were: Her: "Tell me how much better my p***y is than your wife's." Him: "Wetter, tighter and infinitely better."
Her: *sends nude* "How does my body compare to your wife's?" Him: "There is no comparison baby, you are a goddess."
There were so many others but those two come to mind as the ones that made me feel the absolute worst. Remember, I just had twins 5 months ago. I am very insecure due to all of the changes that happened to my body and my c-section scar. I am also 25 pounds heavier than I was pre-pregnancy. My husband and I stopped having sex because it was so uncomfortable for me about 2 months before I gave birth, around the same time he started messaging these women coincidentally. We've only had sex about three times since they were born due to my insecurity issues and just being so exhausted caring for and breastfeeding twins every day. I also have a business and work from home around the twins' schedules so I can stay at home with them.
I take photos of everything, using my phone again like before. The earliest messages were sent 7 months ago so I know it had been going on for at least 7 months, while I was freaking pregnant with our twins. Oh, I also found out that the night after I had a c-section and while our newborn preemie twins were in the NICU, he met with video girl for a hook-up at her apartment. He told me he was going to get food and check on his office. With our twins being preemies, anything could have happened and he wouldn't have been there because he was with her. But, that wasn't a thought for him I guess.
I close out all the apps, make sure the hidden ones are hidden from his home screen and put his phone back exactly where I found it. I also make sure the snap notification was gone. I was nervous that he would find out about the snap that was opened but he didn't.
I call my best friend of over 33 years who is also my business partner. I tell him everything and have a good cry to let it all out. He helps me to collect myself and gives me some sound advice. He tells me to not tell my husband I found anything yet and to speak with a divorce lawyer as soon as possible. He said to meet with the best ones in my area so that they couldn't represent my husband. He offers me and the twins a place to stay at his home if I need time away from my husband, assuring me that his husband would love to have me there.
Over the next week, my BFF helps me take care of the twins while meet with 5 different divorce lawyers and end up hiring, in my opinion, the best. She tells me not to leave the family home so I end up not going to stay with my BFF. She starts the divorce paperwork immediately. During this time, I am doing my best to continue on like nothing is wrong. I want to make sure all of my ducks are in a row before he realizes what I know.
Fast-forward to Mother's Day. My husband makes me breakfast in bed, gives me very expensive jewelry, flowers, the works. I can't enjoy it, of course, because it feels so fake now that I know what he's been up to. I pretend to love it though.
My husband's father planned a cook out that afternoon for my husband's mother, sister (let's call her Julie), sister-in-law (let's call her Fran) and me. We all have infants under a year old so it's everyone's first Mother's day, except my MIL's of course. I told my husband that I didn't feel like going and he guilt-tripped me by saying that my FIL had a big surprise for me and he's been really looking forward giving it to me. So, I reluctantly agree. I ask if my BFF can come since his mother sadly passed away just under a year ago. He calls his dad and my FIL replies that of course he can come. My BFF agreed to come to offer me support since he knew it would be very difficult for me to be there.
I plan to act like nothing's wrong and try to enjoy the day since it's my first Mother's Day after all. I tell myself that I will focus on the twins and get cuddles from my two nieces. Julie has an 8 month old daughter and Fran (husband's brother's wife) has a 10 month old daughter. I'm also the closest to Julie out of all his family since we became friends 10 years ago and she's the one who introduced me to my husband.
We get there and everything is fine. My husband is helping his dad, brother (let's call him Chris), BIL (let's call him Roger) cook on the grill. My MIL and the women are taking turns holding the babies. My BFF took over the kitchen, finishing up all of the sides so the moms could relax. It started out to be a really good day. I kept myself from thinking of my husband's betrayal for the most part and focused on the family.
After we eat my MIL starts taking pictures of the family. I'm sitting on the couch and she tells my husband to sit beside me for the photo. He does and then she tells him to put his arm around me and jokingly says "pretend like you love her" and I lose it. I start to uncontrollably sob.
My MIL pulls me up and hugs me and my FIL comes over and joins in the hug. My BFF comes to stand right next to me. My FIL asks me what was wrong. I look at my BFF and he gives me a "tell if you want" look.
I tell them that I found out my husband has been cheating on me for at least 7 months. Julie gasps and everyone stares at my husband. He stands up and says "that's not true at all, why would you think that? You know you and the boys are my whole world." Everyone is silent, looking at me. I tell them all that I found messages, pictures, the hook-up app and even videos on his phone. My husband looks faint and sits back down. Nobody says anything for at least 2 minutes.
Finally, Julie asks my husband, while crying herself, why? My husband tells her that "I made a mistake, I only talked to the women, I never physically cheated." My BFF quickly replies, "Liar!" Julie then asks me what all I found. I tell them everything, the nudes, the videos of my husband receiving oral, the messages and even tell them what those horrible messages said about me. He continues to deny it! I pull up a few message photos and show them to Julie, my MIL and FIL. My husband tries to gaslight me by saying that he admitted to talking to other women but he never slept with any of them. I really don't want to show them the video but I do find a few messages where my husband and a woman talked about their previous sexual encounters. My husband again says that he admitted to talking to them but never really cheated. He literally says "if the message talks about sex it was just role playing."
Roger (Julie's husband) goes over to my husband and jerks his phone out of his hand. My husband tries to get it back but Roger is 6'7 and my husband is 6'1 so he just holds it up where my husband can't reach. He asks me what his passcode is and I tell him. He then asks me where to find things and as I start to tell him my husband grabs his phone back.
At this point my MIL, Julie and Fran are all crying. Chris starts getting upset with me. He tells me this was not the time nor place to bring this all up and that I ruined Julie and Fran's first Mother's Day. Julie speaks up and says no, my husband is the one who ruined it. Chris starts yelling and saying that our personal business needs to stay private and that I had no right to bring it up to his family and ruin the only first mother's day the women will get. Fran agrees with him and tells me I'm definitely in the wrong for bringing it up, if it even is true.
At this point both of my twins start crying. I am not going to breastfeed them there and I want to get out of that house as quick as possible. I ask my BFF to take me home and we transfer the car seats from my husband's vehicle into his. My MIL follows me outside and says that Chris was right, I should have kept it all to myself and that now future Mother's Days will be a reminder of this fiasco for everyone. I just ignore her and put the twins in the car. My husband comes outside and asks if we can please talk. I tell him no, get in the car and my BFF, the twins and I leave. I end up feeling horrible and guilty that I let it all out to everyone.
My husband didn't come home and ended up staying at his parents house and has been there the past two nights. He got my FIL to come over Sunday evening and pick up clothes, toiletries, work stuff and various other items. While he was here I asked him, did I ruin Mother's Day? He tells me no that my husband did. He said that he asked me what was wrong and I was honest. He said he understood now why the "pretend like you love her" comment caused me to breakdown. I asked him about my MIL, Chris and Fran since I know Julie and Roger aren't mad at me. He said that they are still angry with me but they will eventually get over it.
TL;DR - I found out my husband had been cheating on me for at least 7 months with multiple women, starting while I was pregnant with our twins and continuing after I gave birth. I didn't tell him I knew for 2 weeks. At a Mother's Day cookout that his family hosted for his mother, me, his sister and sister-in-law, his mother made a comment that made me break down. I ended up telling everyone about the infidelity. His brother, SIL, and mother told me I ruined his sister and SIL's first Mother's Day. and that I shouldn't have said anything about the affairs.
Am I the AH?

Hi. 38/f - CF POV most of my life. Fell into fencesitter once I found myself in a situation that I felt might play out well for having a kid, after feeling like I found the “right” version of life for myself- location, career, community, husband. Husband & I have discussed at length, and have sat down preemptively with a marriage counselor around division of labor, better communication tools, etc.
I have not suddenly 180’d into what I feel like a lot of women feel when they think about motherhood. I am still not all gooey and glowy thinking about pregnancy and/or motherhood. I think that if we opted not to have a kid, I’d also have a really great, fulfilling life focused more on community, hobbies, etc. But I think having a kid is a long term good choice, too. (I have been pregnant before, in the past few years. I also did not feel any sort of good feelings then, but it was very unplanned, vs if we were to get pregnant now it would be planned.)
Has anyone who found themselves with kiddos also been through this sort of mental and emotional work? What was that like? Did you feel like you could wholly own your version of motherhood? Did you feel like you were giving into this societal tropes that felt wrong? Can I be a good mom but not cease to exist other than being mom, conceptually? (I know that time wise it’s going to require so much. And I know I’m priveleged to even be thinking about it in these terms)
When I try and unpack all my feelings, it feels like I’m very fearful of being lumped into the “mommy” community and other societal level expectations of motherhood - this is the greatest accomplishment of my life, I’ve never been a whole human until I was a mom, my child is the entirely of my life, every aspect of motherhood comes before my sense of worth as an individual. I don’t want to come at this as that is wrong, it just feels wrong for me.
Most of my friends have not had children, so I guess I’ve yet to see a ton of motherhood reflected in a way that feels good to me? My mom is incredible and one of my best friends (my dad, too) but she had my sisters when she was a teenager with an abusive first husband and my sisters then had their kids with abusive assholes and we (me, mom & dad) helped to raise those kids - the whole breaking generational trauma thing. So I guess I’ve seen motherhood go a lot of ways. 🤷🏻‍♀️