This is an old story some of my friends told me (29F) I should share here.. so here I am. Sorry for the long text, but there's a lot to unfold.
This started a few years ago, after I got ghosted by my ex, I decided to switch careers and took the proposal of my brother to work for one of his friend in an organic grocery store in my area. I was 22ish at the time, maybe 21 turning 22, but anyways.
I started working in the fruits and vegetables aisle. Despite having a crazy director, I liked my job and my department manager. After a few months, I got the title of "third key" which is basically I'm the assistant manager when the assistant is gone. Then, they decided to hire a new customer service manager that I will call Linda. That woman was CRAZY. While I was 23 at the time, she was only 20 acting like she owned the world.
To give you an idea, in the span of 8 months being here, she got 11 employees fired for stupid reasons and since our director at the time was just as crazy... it was easier for her to get her way. Also, when I say stupid reasons, I'll give you a few examples: Benji got fired because he was "talking too loud" in the break room and it was disturbing her peace and supposedly making her harder to rest to come back fully ready to finish her shift. Marie got fired because she HAD to take off work to go to a relative's funeral and couldn't give her 2 weeks notice. Rose got fired because she was getting "too old to do her job properly and it was ruining the pace of the team's work" (which is bs, I've never seen someone cut veggies and fruits as fast as her). And I could go on. Yes, some of them could've been able to be protested against and even file a complaint against her. Mind you, outside of Rose, everybody was too young to just wanting to fight for a grocery store job. Even Rose just decided to take her retirement earlier and fucked off the work world lol.
Anyways, she took it too far when she tried to mess with me. To give you the context, we had a huge special on lemons and sometimes, those fruits can get rotten and you don't notice it because there's no smell. The only way you'd know is by going through the several small boxes of like 10ish lemons and look at them all one by one. Which I did regularly, but hey, I'm not a robot, sometimes some of them slipped out of my eyes. I was leaving the backstore with more boxes when I saw Linda with a customer that seemed more than pissed. So I go see both of them because mind you.. she has a LEMON box and I work in the fruits department. So it's kind of my job to help IF I CAN. That's when I asked her "Hey Linda, do you need help with the lemons?" And right away she told me "Fuck off, I don't need your help, I already spoke to your manager. Go do your job for once." My face was literally like this 😳 as I went to my department. Even the pissed customer did a bombastic side eyes.
A few minutes later, I go back to the backstore to fulfill the missing products and my manager pulls me aside. "Hey OP, stay out of Linda's business. I can't protect you all the time for talking back." I stopped him right away asking what does he means cause as soon as she told me to fuck off, I did fuck off. He looked at me surprised and said he'd come back to me with it, but only tomorrow because he's finishing his shift and for some personal reason, he can't stay longer to solve the issue. Since Linda was the manager on guard that night, he told me to stay in the back as much as possible to stay in her good graces. That's what I did.
One hour after my manager left, I heard my name being called in the front office (shared by the customer service manager and director). Big wtf. I go in the front and all of my colleagues are looking at me like I'm a prisoner going to their death sentence. Mind you, I know my laws and my rights. I might be young, but as soon as I got called, I started reciting in my head the main laws and rights she has to respect. I open the door's office and Linda is FUMING. And she is alone. She asks me to close the door and I tell her "No, it is my right to have someone in the room with us for this talk. I am not comfortable being alone with you." She starts freaking out and starts to speak louder, on the verge of screaming. "Linda. This room is recorded 24/7 and the customers can hear you talking to me like that. Lower your tone and find a witness to be in the room or I'll go back to work." She stands up to look outside the office and sees that indeed, there's a line in front of the cash looking to the office's direction. She takes a few deep breaths and calls Gabrielle who takes care of the finances of the store so she can be a witness. From the moment Gab got into the room, she seemed like she wanted to get away, so do I.
Gab took a seat in the back and Linda starts her whole speech. I'll be paraphrasing cause the meeting took almost an hour.
L: You know why I brought you here, right? OP: Not really, I've been in the backstore minding my business. Why? L: Well you disrespected my authority in front of a customer and that's a big no no for the company. OP: For the company or for you? L: OP, this is not the topic. You shouldn't be disrespecting authority in front of customers. It makes the managers look bad. OP: I was honestly just trying to help because you had a box of products from my department. I just wanted to help because the customer looked pissed and I didn't want him to ruin your fragile mood. L: My fragile mood?! Are you fucking serious?! OP: Linda, we are being recorded and we have a witness. I'm asking you to stay polite and not scream or I will file a complaint against you. L: Are threatening me??? OP: No, I am stating my rights and making you aware of where your attitude will lead you. I won't accept being talked like that by someone that ain't even my manager. L: Okay OP, let me remind you where your position stands in this business.
That bitch started to draw a triangle, put her name at the tippidy top and mine at the bottom. I didn't even let her finish what she had to say, I stormed off the office, went into the employees lockers, took my stuff and headed out. Linda ran after me, yelling like a psycho "YOU CAN'T LEAVE LIKE THAT! YOU'RE STILL SCHEDULED FOR THE CLOSE!" I stopped on my steps, making Linda almost run into me and said with the most blank expression I could have "Linda, you crossed a line and since you're so good at your job, close my department for me. I will be filing a complaint against you." And left the work place.
Next morning, I came to work as usual and had to see my manager and the director. I explained them the whole situation and showed the papers I was about to send to file a complaint against Linda. Also, this dumb bitch didn't even throw her pyramid in the trash. It was still on display when the director came in to work and asked me what it was. I asked her to look at the cameras, put the sound on and listen to the whole meeting. We watched it to my director's horror and who came in to work in the middle of our screening time? Linda! She came into the office and Linda being a poc turned white as a ghost. I've never seen her being so so pale. "W-what are you doing?" The director asked Linda to sit down and we watched again the video. Mind you, it took us one full hour to watch because she was in a never ending power trip. She used to be smart when she was bullying and making stories about past employees, doing it far from the cameras and usually using the other office that doesn't have cameras or a microphone, but she wasn't with me. I guess she got comfortable or whatever, but check mate on her ass.
My director said I could go back to work with my manager, that she would take care of the rest. Two weeks later, Linda still had her job, but our director resigned from her job right away. Which was hella weird, but whatever. We got a new director, she was a total sweet heart and she noticed Linda's crazy power trips right away. She decided to launch an intern investigation, but sadly, all the employees Linda bullied were fired. There was only me and my little complaint waiting to be served. When Nancy, our new director, came to me asking if I knew anything about Linda. I gave her the file, the time stamps of the video tape, all the employees she fired for stupid reasons with the old director and also phone numbers of those employees.
Flash forward 2 weeks later, Linda left work earlier, balling her eyes out yelling how Nancy was a bitch and didn't deserve her job. How she always came in earlier, put in the work and yadi yada. Nancy waited a few more days before asking me to come into the office and again, I'll be paraphrasing because a lot have been said.
N: HI OP, don't worry, you're not in any trouble. I just saw your CV and noticed you've had a lot of experience in customer service. OP: Yes, I used to be a cashier for almost 5 years, it was my first job. Why? N: I've seen your file, your CV and how you managed the conversation with Linda. We are actually looking for a new customer service manager since Linda have been let go. OP: What about my actual position? N: It's easier to find a fruits and vegetables commis than it is to find a competent service manager.. as you experienced.
I ended up accepting the position and all my co-workers cheered for my raise. I don't want to brag, but I've always been the one to defend everybody in the place, making sure I'll keep my job in the process and following the laws and rights. A few months later, Linda came back to the store as a customer and the look she had on her face when she saw me at the cash with the manager uniform was priceless. It was even more priceless when she asked me when I got the promotion and I told her the exact date, which matched her departure. "So you got my position when I left?" I just nodded and asked if I could do anything more to help have a better experience in the store. She didn't answer to that and just left after paying her things.
To this day, it's still one of my favorite moments to have been through. I'm not a petty person, but if I can ruin you in the process of me trying to defend my people, I'll be more than happy to do so. Last I've heard of Linda, she was working for the competitor, but never had any promotions.

Day guide
Welcome to Day 42 of WiyHat?. Today's topic is "Sumireko Usami", the "Mystic and Troublesome Female Student".
She is introduced as the main antagonist of Touhou 14.5: Urban Legend in Limbo. Despite being an ostensible "normal" human from the Outside World (^{the Kanto region}), she effectively has an assorted amount of psychic powers, or just ESP in general. She creates the Secret Sealing Club (first seen in ZUN's stories with Renko & Maribel) at her high school Higashifukami and becomes its first president because of her interest in the occult (and then Gensokyo).
Sumireko is one of those characters ZUN really made a big deal out of after her introduction: to put it plainly, she was basically everywhere back during her heyday. I'll go over all of her appearances first:
Games:
-14.5 (ULiL): Sumireko is the antagonist of the game, who instigated a plot using "Occult Balls" to bring residents of Gensokyo to the Outside World for a short time so that she can learn things about them. However, every single person who came to her fought back, much to her curiosity. Eventually, Mamizou tricks Sumireko to be the one who is brought over and trapped in Gensokyo instead.
Cue Sumireko's own story mode, which has her fight everyone else to find a way back to the Outside World. Miko eventually just tells her to use the balls whenever she wants to return, albeit technically temporarily now that she's a "resident". Sumireko eventually panics, believing she'll die at this rate, and so decides to sacrifice herself by unleashing the full power of the Occult Balls, possibly destroying the Great Hakurei Barrier.
Reimu stops her, but not before Sumireko accidentally activates a Lunar Capital Ball, which links Gensokyo to the Lunar Capital, therefore setting up TH15 and Gensokyo's potential "purification" by Sagume Kishin, if she can't deal with those attacking the Lunar Capital. ^{So, yeah, even though Sumireko was stopped in 14.5, she still inadvertently put Gensokyo in grave danger later on. She's not unlike a certain trio who created a cascade of incidents back in TH10...}
Regardless, Sumireko later apologized and befriended most of the characters after this particular incident, and her tales of the Outside World intrigue most of the residents in Gensokyo.
-15.5 (Antinomy of Common Flowers): Sumireko basically stumbles into Gensokyo at a bad time, and has to find her way out of the Dream World using Doremy's help. Although this sounds like a minor issue, her "Dream soul" was released into the Outside World as this happened, which could have had dire consequences, according to Yukari. Bizarrely, Sumireko encountered 2 versions of her Dream soul, here. Eventually, she solves the problem, with Doremy confirming she was the "real" one who prevailed in the end.
16.5 (Violet Detector): Sumireko keeps having weird dreams were she has to fight off dream world dwellers jealous of her having a "real" body. After a while, she finds and fights the real Okina. Impressed by her resilience, Okina lends her power to fight off even stronger nightmares, with the upside that if she wins, the dreams will stop eventually.
That is, until it turns out the "Sumireko" we've been playing as was the Dream version of the real one all along! Okina rescinds the power she lent to the Dream version so that the real one (which you now play as) has a fair shot at getting her body back (since the Dream one was in control of her body). Sumireko wins, and then she wakes up not remembering anything, and the player is left complaining at ZUN for not actually creating any new patterns for this game.
Oh, yeah, she also makes outrageously "hip" descriptions of the patterns when she manages to win it definitely doesn't endear her to some people.
That's all for the game appearances, which while only 3, left her with quite a bit of presence during that era of Touhou. 16.5 is Sumireko's own solo game, by the way, in case you didn't know.
As for her Printworks appearances:
-Grimoire of Usami: Basically, this is Sumireko taking a page out of Marisa, and making a Grimoire where she explains various Danmaku attacks done during a "Fireworks festival". While there's a bit of a plot in here, it's mostly just descriptions of patterns.
-Wild and Horned Hermit: Sumireko's dream souls cause trouble again in chapter 29. She also (accidentally) summons a UFO at the Hakurei Shrine in chapter 31, much to Reimu's irritation.
-Curiosities of Lotus Asia: This was basically known as "Rinnosuke's series", except after a long hiatus, it was brought back with Sumireko taking center stage in almost every new chapter, much to the irritation of some people. Put plainly, Sumireko works part-time with Rinnosuke there, which is why she's so involved.
She also had various cameos in most of the other printworks (including further cameos in WaHH).

• Wild and Horned Hermit (34, 35)
• Forbidden Scrollery (Chapter 34)
• Visionary Fairies in Shrine (Chapters 2, 7)
• Alternative Facts in Eastern Utopia (Interviews)
• Who's Who of Humans & Youkai - Dusk Edition

So, am I done summing up Sumireko? Well, no. Because I glossed over so much, I should mention that Sumireko's good friends with Mokou because she matched her blow to blow in a duel they once had, and friends with Kasen too, even giving her (and various other people) nicknames. ^{She's friends with Reimu, Marisa, Mamizou and Rinnosuke, too, but that was already implied before.}
PHEW! Now, that's a lot of canon stuff for a single character, particularly one introduced so much later into the franchise's continuity!
You might be thinking: "What about her relation with Renko Usami? They have the same family name!" Well, the truth is, we still don't know to this day what the exact relation between the two is. We assume Sumireko is Renko's grandma or something, making her one of the few Touhou characters to (eventually) canonically have a family, but even that's not confirmed for sure, so we can only theorize about it.
More to the point...what do the fans think of Sumireko?
Well, according to the yearly popularity polls, she started off decently popular, but she's dropped hard lately, going as low as 80th last year (2023). This is partly due to her diminishing presence in the canon, presumably, but...
...it's also because, not unlike other Outside World foreigners to Gensokyo like Sanae and Mamizou, Sumireko's got a bit of a hatedom who detested how much ZUN pushed her as a "regular" of Gensokyo, despite the fact she wasn't even truly living there, and that she got off too easily for almost ending Gensokyo's very existence...twice, no less!
And then there are those who are fans of Rinnosuke who hate that he has to share the spotlight with her all the time when "his" series was brought back. Or maybe the fans of Mokou who hate that instead of ZUN further expanding on her relation with Kaguya/Keine/someone else from the Windows era, she gets stuck with a generic isekai wannabe.
Yeah, I think that's the core of the issue with Sumireko for some people: She's essentially got no real relation or story to the actual core of Gensokyo's world^\1), and thus comes across as inherently boring to them. And yet, many canon stories used to revolve around her, much to their frustration.
^\1 Sumireko technically visited Gensokyo as a kid through her dreams, so technically she does have a backstory with Gensokyo, but she never remembered her experiences there back then and it feels more like lore stuff than actual backstory to most fans.)
Of course, Sumireko still has some diehard fans, and she does provide a niche hardly many other characters have, so don't be surprised to see her in fanworks involving Outside World stuff.
But, for now, let's see what you think of Sumireko. Vote or comment below about it.
Sumireko Usami is...
View Poll

Just shy of 3 weeks ago, I lost my 16 year old golden retriever, who has been the most wonderful dog I could’ve ever asked for. This leaves my 10 yo shih tzu- who has never known a day without him- on his own. Since the passing of my golden boy, the little guy has understandably become much more clingy towards myself, to the point he has to follow me everywhere I go in the house.
After it happened, I was given a couple of days off work before returning, and for two shifts he was in the house on his own for 3 hours in between me leaving for work and a roommate returning from work, and he did not handle it well. He was crying, whining, barking, shaking and very visibly distressed when they came home, and was very frantic when I came home later that night, far more so than before. I had a couple of shifts after that where someone was home with him the whole time, and while still very mopey during the day and hyper and frantic for me when I came in, he was less distressed.
After this I had a pre-planned week of annual leave, during which I’ve looked in to my options. I live in a fairly small, fairly rural town and there aren’t any kinds of doggy daycare type services. There are dog walking services, but that doesn’t solve my issue. I don’t have any family or friends I could reliably leave him with whenever I work. So, I’ve asked my work if I can try bringing him in with me, which they’ve agreed to. My workplace has an office and staff area on the top floor, and retail/business area downstairs. The idea was I would keep him upstairs and regularly (every hour maybe 2 max) check on him and sometimes be in the office with him for prolonged periods doing work in there. I figured stretches of an hour or two alone would be better than 7-9 hours alone.
I’ve returned to work and we’ve given it a few tries, and it is not going well. He lasts about 10-15 minutes before the crying and whining starts, which will eventually turn to barking. Each day I’ve taken him on a massive walk right beforehand in hopes it tires him out, arrived early to get him calm and settled with me before going downstairs, brought him toys and chews, which will keep him occupied for a few minutes before he gets bored of them and the crying starts.
So, does anybody have any advice on how to help his separation anxiety and/or specifically train him out of the barking/noisiness? I really want this to work out for him, I can’t stand him being so distressed and I don’t know how best to help him.

What is Dark Magic?
That's the question, I'm sure, if not every single one, but the majority of readers asked themselves at least once. Dark Magic in general is described as magic malicious in nature, one that's used to cause harm. It doesn't really make sense: a good applied Incendio is just as well to kill you as a swift Killing Curse, even more painfully, in fact. Or why Imperius is Unforgivable, but love potions are totally fine and legal and not considered Dark? And I'm sure people here are painfully familiar with many such arguments.
Did you know that "Petrificus Totalus" spell Hermione used on Neville at the end of the first book is a dark charm? Apparently, according to "The Standard Book of Spells, Grade 1" from Pottermore, jinxes, hexes and curses (though the last one is obvious) are all dark spells. And that includes such things as Ron's Slug-Vomiting Curse, Ginny's signature Bat-Bogey Hex, even Leg-Locking Curse that Draco used to bully Neville in first year. All because their purpose is to cause a negative effect.
So, some Dark Magic is bad, but other is used regularly in schoolyard fights, and no one bats an eye. Where's the line and who sets it?
Alright, Dark Magic in canon doesn't make sense. That means, that a lot of fic writers take it upon themselves to fill the gaps in logic and give their own definitions of what magic constitutes as dark. From the top of my head, I can remember a few, let me know if you recognize them:

• Dark magic is magic that's powered by emotions. Everyone knows that to properly use Killing or Cruciatus Curse, you have to fully desire to cause death and pain, so that fits. Also, by this definition, Patronus Charm is dark because it's powered by happiness. Why not, quite a good irony.
• Dark magic is powered by external source, while "light" magic is internal. I don't remember the details, but it was something to the effect that external makes it more powerful, and power corrupts, so it's feared. A bit strange but has a nice message behind it. Also, why I'm on the topic, a friendly reminder to those who are too deep in fanon and mix things up with canon. There's no such thing as "light" magic, just like there was no "Light" side in the war. There's Dark and there's everything else.
• Dark magic is one that is secret familial magic. People develop or discover new spells and for whatever reason decide not to share them, but to hoard them in their family grimoire, so other people don't know such a powerful spell or countermeasures against it. Usually this is followed by some heavy pureblood Houses politics, Lordships and such. Also, I've seen fics where bloodline gifts such as Tonks' metamorphmagus ability were considered Dark Magic for whatever reason (Bashed Dumbledore's propaganda to suppress pureblood Houses, more likely).
• Dark magic is the one that's forbidden by government. This is my personal favorite, as I prefer harder magical systems. In this case, it means that there's nothing inherently wrong in this magic, it's not different in nature from any other magic, just one that's seen as too dangerous. Of course, it also invites a heavy abuse by government to declare anything they don't want to as dangerous Dark Magic that's to be prosecuted for, but that's another story.

I like these theories, I like when people try to come up with their own interpretations or their ways to fill the holes in lore and logic. Not all of them I agree with, but it hardly matters.
What peeves me, however, is when authors use this fact, that there's no clear definition of Dark Magic or Dark Arts, as an excuse to basically do whatever they want. A character (more likely, main one) does or practices something that people don't like, so they just accuse them with an empty argument "it's bad, it's Dark Magic!". And no one can argue, because no one understands what Dark Magic even is! They don't have a box list of criteria to disprove. "I don't know what you're doing, I don't understand it - it's Dark Magic, it's bad."
It's one of the favorite arguments in Hermione or Order bashing stories when MC does something they do not approve of. Dumbledore bashing uses a bit different arguments, but this one can also be included.
It's just such a... I don't want to call it a bashing tool, because I can't say if every such story involves a heavy bashing, but it has potential to be, at least. I'd call it a bludgeoning tool. Just a blunt method to make characters do whatever they want without the need for any finer details: it's so much easier to just use the brand "Dark Magic" and get over it, why give any explanations.
Although, to be completely fair, canon does it as well to some extent.

“Did something happen to it when Flint blocked him?” Seamus whispered.
“Can’t have,” Hagrid said, his voice shaking. “Can’t nothing interfere with a broomstick except powerful Dark magic — no kid could do that to a Nimbus Two Thousand.”

Non-Dark magic can't do something like that? What is Dark about taking control of a broom anyway? Though, admittedly it's Hagrid, no matter his virtues, not the most reliable or knowledgeable of sources on this topic.

“Ask him,” shrieked Filch, turning his blotched and tearstained face to Harry.
“No second year could have done this,” said Dumbledore firmly. “It would take Dark Magic of the most advanced — ”

Again, I don't understand what the heck it is, so it must be Dark Magic. But, it is Dumbledore and highly knowledgeable wizard, plus it's clearly a harmful effect, so it's more assumption based on those, plus experience.

“Nonsense, O’Flaherty,” said Professor Binns in an aggravated tone. “If a long succession of Hogwarts headmasters and headmistresses haven’t found the thing — ”

“But, Professor,” piped up Parvati Patil, “you’d probably have to use Dark Magic to open it — ”
The Chamber of Secrets can't be kept a secret without resorting to Dark Magic? If no one found it, so it must be something truly obscure and terrible, so it's Dark. But, I mean, she's a second year girl...

Black jumped at being addressed like this and stared at Hermione as though he had never seen anything quite like her.

“If you don’t mind me asking, how — how did you get out of Azkaban, if you didn’t use Dark Magic?”
But Hermione surely disappoints here. Apparently, non-Dark countermeasures are all accounted for, so if they failed he must have used some Dark stuff.
It's very sad picture, which says about either ignorance on the matter, which is excusable for children but pity that it's not taught, or arrogance in the assumption that you know every bit of non-Dark magic there is and can be.
Anyway, we came back to the canon and it's understanding of Dark Magic. I spent some time thinking about it, what J.K.Rowling meant by it, without resorting to any headcanons.
No one can argue that Harry Potter series is filled with symbolism as any good fiction tends to be. It's a story for children, at least started as, and young adults, so besides a good adventure it also contains a moral message and more than one. The story of Boy-Who-Lived is about love and redemption, first and foremost. "Love is the most powerful thing in the world" is not just a preaching of a senile old man, but the most central point of the whole book series.
So, based on this, I believe that in canon Dark Magic at its basics is the magic that corrupts the soul. What it means is open to interpretation, as it often is when the topic of a human soul is involved. It's all based on the same moral messages between the lines: when you do bad things to others, it slowly but surely corrupts your soul, and if you fall into temptation, only love and compassion can heal the harm done to yourself. Harry vs Voldemort is basically the fight between Love and Hate, Soul and Soulless. That's why Patronus is basically an epitome of defense. And that's why Horcruxes are considered to be The Darkest of Magic, when it literally tears the soul apart. And that's why the cold blooded murder is even involved in the process of making one - metaphorical tear becomes literal.
To be completely honest, I find myself a bit resentful of the message, no matter how nice and beautiful it sounds. It somehow implies that soul is only about love, compassion, friendship and so on, that any negative feelings do not and must not have a part in it. But, I guess, it's a bit too much of a philosophical, ethical and psychological question to dive into in here.

My (F29) 2 friends (both F30) from university have created a group chat and are urging me to go to Japan with them, since tickets are cheap right now. I told them that I will be going twice this year already, so I will have to pass on going with them and they can just go together. I don’t want to go with them at all, because I went with them to a different prefecture in Japan 6 years ago and we had so many differences. They are always looking for the cheapest things and places regardless of where it is and what it is. I also had to plan everything and make the itinerary and buy tickets for everything. I was also the designated train expert. I’m okay with staying in cheap hotels as long as it’s in a good location and the bathroom is clean. I’m also okay with taking trains and walking instead of taking taxis, since the price difference is insane and I love walking anyways. What I’m not okay with is eating at 7/11s, family marts, or random restaurants that have 1 star reviews but are cheap. I know I sound crazy, but I love food. I love to eat. I especially love to eat when I’m on vacation. I’m not rich by any means, but I would rather save up and eat whatever I want and go to whatever attraction I want on vacation rather than go there and just stare at food and places I cannot afford. Eating while on vacation is one of the best experiences. Especially in Japan! When I went with them 6 years ago, I wanted to try this yakiniku restaurant, but they did not, since they found it to be expensive. It was about 30USD per person. I acquiesced since they both didn’t want to eat there. They chose this random restaurant with a more affordable menu. The food was about 10USD per dish. I just ate ice cream, because the food did not look appetizing at all and even they were having a hard time finishing it. The bill came and we were all shocked. There was a random door charge that was about $10 each person. I was pissed. They wanted to complain to the waitress, but how in the world were we going to complain when it was probably normal in that area. I just stayed quiet the rest of the night and told myself to just let it go. The next day came and we were in line at this famous tonkatsu restaurant. It was about $20 per meal and when we sat down they only ordered one croquette ($5) per person because they didn’t have want to order a $20 meal. The croquette wasn’t even that big so they were still hungry. My meal was a set and was refillable, so they just ate my rice and soup. It was honestly really embarrassing, because the waitress was staring at us and I just wanted to melt. I’m not dragging them to $100 per meal restaurants here. I completely understand that people have different budgets for different things, but I feel like this is too extreme. We also went to a theme park and instead of riding different rides, they got tired after 3, and wanted to just sit down the rest of the day. I had to go around by myself, because they were too tired. We meet about once a year, because our schedules are too different. Even when we meet I cannot help but think we are just growing apart. We have so many different views on things. We recently went out to dinner and we were just having a good time when one of them mentioned a very delicate topic about another young woman. This woman had an intimate video of her released when she was a minor and they were making fun of her. I saw red. I didn’t shout at them or anything, but I reprimanded them for being vile and I told them if they were going to continue with this conversation, I was leaving. They always stick up for each other, so it always feels like I’m in the wrong, but this time I didn’t back down. They told me I was ruining the dinner, so I said it wouldn’t be ruined in the first place if they just acted like well raised adults. We all went home soon after that. They’ve been acting like nothing happened and have been messaging me and still asking me to go to dinners with them, but I just don’t want to anymore. I can’t help feeling sad, because we’ve been friends for over a decade. They’re going to ask me to go with them again somewhere sometime in the future, and I don’t know how to tell them I don’t want to go with them without hurting their feelings. I’m not even sure if I still want to be friends. I know we’re all old enough to talk about this maturely, but these two are not very mature. When I mentioned that I was already going this year, they both said that it’s because I didn’t want to see them and I was choosing my other friends over them. I don’t know how to handle these two, because all my other friends act their age. My 14 year old sister is easier to reason with. What do I do?

My (F29) 2 friends (both F30) from university have created a group chat and are urging me to go to Japan with them, since tickets are cheap right now. I told them that I will be going twice this year already, so I will have to pass on going with them and they can just go together. I don’t want to go with them at all, because I went with them to a different prefecture in Japan 6 years ago and we had so many differences. They are always looking for the cheapest things and places regardless of where it is and what it is. I also had to plan everything and make the itinerary and buy tickets for everything. I was also the designated train expert. I’m okay with staying in cheap hotels as long as it’s in a good location and the bathroom is clean. I’m also okay with taking trains and walking instead of taking taxis, since the price difference is insane and I love walking anyways. What I’m not okay with is eating at 7/11s, family marts, or random restaurants that have 1 star reviews but are cheap. I know I sound crazy, but I love food. I love to eat. I especially love to eat when I’m on vacation. I’m not rich by any means, but I would rather save up and eat whatever I want and go to whatever attraction I want on vacation rather than go there and just stare at food and places I cannot afford. Eating while on vacation is one of the best experiences. Especially in Japan! When I went with them 6 years ago, I wanted to try this yakiniku restaurant, but they did not, since they found it to be expensive. It was about 30USD per person. I acquiesced since they both didn’t want to eat there. They chose this random restaurant with a more affordable menu. The food was about 10USD per dish. I just ate ice cream, because the food did not look appetizing at all and even they were having a hard time finishing it. The bill came and we were all shocked. There was a random door charge that was about $10 each person. I was pissed. They wanted to complain to the waitress, but how in the world were we going to complain when it was probably normal in that area. I just stayed quiet the rest of the night and told myself to just let it go. The next day came and we were in line at this famous tonkatsu restaurant. It was about $20 per meal and when we sat down they only ordered one croquette ($5) per person because they didn’t have want to order a $20 meal. The croquette wasn’t even that big so they were still hungry. My meal was a set and was refillable, so they just ate my rice and soup. It was honestly really embarrassing, because the waitress was staring at us and I just wanted to melt. I’m not dragging them to $100 per meal restaurants here. I completely understand that people have different budgets for different things, but I feel like this is too extreme. We also went to a theme park and instead of riding different rides, they got tired after 3, and wanted to just sit down the rest of the day. I had to go around by myself, because they were too tired. We meet about once a year, because our schedules are too different. Even when we meet I cannot help but think we are just growing apart. We have so many different views on things. We recently went out to dinner and we were just having a good time when one of them mentioned a very delicate topic about another young woman. This woman had an intimate video of her released when she was a minor and they were making fun of her. I saw red. I didn’t shout at them or anything, but I reprimanded them for being vile and I told them if they were going to continue with this conversation, I was leaving. They always stick up for each other, so it always feels like I’m in the wrong, but this time I didn’t back down. They told me I was ruining the dinner, so I said it wouldn’t be ruined in the first place if they just acted like well raised adults. We all went home soon after that. They’ve been acting like nothing happened and have been messaging me and still asking me to go to dinners with them, but I just don’t want to anymore. I can’t help feeling sad, because we’ve been friends for over a decade. They’re going to ask me to go with them again somewhere sometime in the future, and I don’t know how to tell them I don’t want to go with them without hurting their feelings. I’m not even sure if I still want to be friends. I know we’re all old enough to talk about this maturely, but these two are not very mature. When I mentioned that I was already going this year, they both said that it’s because I didn’t want to see them and I was choosing my other friends over them. I don’t know how to handle these two, because all my other friends act their age. My 14 year old sister is easier to reason with. What do I do?

I have had a series of unfortunate events after buying used Opel Insignia from 2010 and now I'm wondering if this could have been avoided if my mechanic did a better job. I'm not going to blame him, what's done is done, but I want to know if I should go for some other shop going forward.
So heres the critical moments:
I go to buy a car, mechanic ispects it and says it's in great condition.
I do small service, he says everything is great.
Few weeks later I want to go for a drive. As I'm leaving the parking the screen says "Low oil pressure turn off engine". I'm in the middle of the parking exit so I go back to my spot and turn it off.
I call the mechanic and tell him want happened suspecting that the problem is an oil pump cap thay everyone says is problematic on this model he agrees that's the issue 99%. So I decide to do big service while we're at it, it's still 20k km until one is needed but the car was parked unused for a while.
He completes that but says that oil pump was in perfect condition, there's no longer oil pressure warning.
I pick up the car and he says everything is great don't worry about it. I pull out and while driving home it's obvious by the sound that everything is not great. Flywheel is destroyed.
I go back rigth away and he finds me a shop that sells flywheels but they only offer warranty if they put it in. So we send them the car. They fix it but say that my flywheel is not worn out but destroyed suddenly that we should not turn on engine until it's fixed as it will destroy the new flywheel too. They say it's bad krankshaft.
So then it turns out that 2 bearings on krankshaft broke, spun so that 2 halves of bearing ended up on top of each other and completely destroyed engine block.
My mechanic says it's impossible to say why it happened and now I'm afraid that if I get new engine block it will happen again which would be extremely expensive considering that I also have to legalize new engine block.
Is it really impossible to tell why it happened? He's a good guy but I think this could have been prevented am I wrong? Is it possible that this happened randomly without any reason?
Edit: It's Opel Insigina A 2010, with 160hp CDTI engine, it's based on Fiat JTD if not same. And the bearing that broke is on main bearing cup. I speek English daily but engine parts are not in my vocabulary so I might make some mistakes.

TLDR: bla bla bla life story, my question is: How have you gone about disclosing PDA with your school or work place? I'd love to hear positive or negative experiences and whatever advice you might have.
Hey! I'm in the midst of a thorough psychiatric examination after years and years of quick diagnoses and symptom treatment. My psychiatrist just told me that I have a PDA profile (I'm not diagnosed with autism but am being examined for it). I never heard of this before but by googling I found that this is EXACTLY what my core problem is in my day to day life. First I for some reason feel inclined to share some of my life story lol for context or for the sake of my own clarity.
I'm in college/university and have two freelance jobs. With the freelance positions I finally found something that works pretty well for me job wise, I've stayed in these positions two and three years respectively. Before this I've never held on to a job for more than a few months MAX, and the one job that I had for several months was during covid when I worked from home 90% of the time. My ex girlfriend was always baffled that "every day you question whether you should leave for work/school, it's never a given" and honestly I'm baffled too, or moreso that people just get up and mindlessly leave their house, although this sounds like an absolute dream. To get to the point, in school I've always had high percentages of absence, in high school I was at about 35% when only 5% was officially allowed. I was always able to get away with it cause I'm a "high achiever" and got straight A's. But the neverending excuses made and makes me feel frankly like a lazy, dishonest piece of shit person, I don't trust myself and am paranoid that my peers talk behind my back. I never know when I'll wake up and be in what I've always just called "the pit". However on some level in high school I was able to shake it off, it's not like high school was my passion so as long as I wasn't thrown out I thought it was okay that sometimes I didn't show up. Now, the strange part is that my subject in college truly is my passion. I can not think of anything else I would like or want to do more. So I've been so frustated that I still find myself paralyzed on a random morning, or just ghosting school for weeks at a time. Anyway, while PDA isn't exactly an "explanation", it's nice to be able to collect the pieces and see a clear pattern. I though that maybe this could put an end to the excuses and lies if I disclose the profile with my school. Finally, my question is: How have you gone about this? Has anyone got positive or negative experiences to share?

As a worship leader within more theologically conservative circles of Christianity, I grew up singing Above All 'cause it sounded nice, but was told that we're going to stop doing it because it's messaging isn't Biblical (alla Matt Chandler getting mad at the rose illustration).
I've been revisiting some of the old classic worship songs and Above All came up on my Spotify Radio. I decided to give it a listen, just to enjoy nostalgia, but came away thinking that it actually isn't that bad. I mean, no one could disagree with the verse structure: He is above all powers, kings, creation, wealth, wisdom, etc. etc; and the beginning of the chorus is merely describing the Passion narrative, including the fact He was rejected by men and the Father turned away.
Of course, the point of contention is the final line: "like a rose trampled on the ground: You took the fall and thought of me above all."
I think the simile is not well crafted, especially when you consider the cadence of the song. You can't really tell if "like a rose" is referring about the first half of the chorus or the final line, but for our sake, let's assume the line is referring to his rejected and lonely nature at His death. This means we can take a look at the final line isolated, with nothing else in the song holding it up.
Is it actually wrong? To many of my fellow theologically conservative Christians, they would say, "of course it is! Christ's primary goal was to glorify the Father, and therefore could not have thought of us above all else."
But I pose to you that the reason my brothers and sisters do not like this song is precisely the reason why this line actually works. Christ's primary goal was indeed, in the hour of His death, "that the Son may glorify [the Father]" (John 17:1); but in what way is God glorified? Jesus follows this up in the High Priestly Prayer:
"...so that the Son may glorify you, since you have given him authority over all flesh, to give eternal life to all whom you have given him. And this is eternal life, that they know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom you have sent. I glorified you on earth, having accomplished the work that you gave me to do." (John 17:1b-4)
The work Christ came to do, of course, we can understand as the Father's direction in Christ's ministry and sacrifice. So Christ glorifies God by following what He says, and according to this prayer, an express desire of God is to give eternal life to all whom you have given him. I don't think it's actually that far off to say that Christ definitely had us in mind when on the Cross, because God's glorification is tied to salvation of the elect (no matter how one defines election), and that the foreknowledge of God (through His omniscience) would've foreknown those who accepted the gift of salvation (again, no matter how one defines this).
So Above All is at worst, a repetitive song with a poorly crafted metaphor, and at best, a worship song that I think we could sing in specific contexts.
What do you think?

Saturday may 11th, my mom went to my grandmas around 6pm. About 30 minutes in, our dog, kiwi, (yorkie) went missing. Our only assumption is that she was at the park across the street. (Literally a 2 minute walk, you just cross ONE street). She was only missing for about 30 minutes, she couldn't have gone that far. After hours of searching, we came to no success. So Sunday, may 12th, we posted her all over facebook, & even printed out fliers. We hung them up at the park and around the neighborhood she went missing at. About an hour later, my mom gets a call saying someone was trying to sell her at the park the DAY she went missing. She is met with a man who admits to eyeing kiwi for "3 hours" (she was in the area for 30 mins), assumed she had no owner, (despite her having a harness and tag) and gave her to a family member who resides in a city 3 hours away. He offered to get her back for a price, which we did NOT want to pay this guy could potentially be a SCAMMER, I know that's everyone reading this's assumption right now. He gave us the address of the ppl who took her, it's a fake address. We ask for contact info of his "extended family" who took her, he refuses. We are money ready and willing to go to another city for her, he switches up his story and says the family doesn't want to give her back. Come to find out, he's a YORKIE BREEDER, & probably sees kiwi as a money opportunity! We filed a report and the pd REFUSES to take action! Sunday night, he finds my grandmas address and threatens her because we won't "leave him alone" about a dog HE HAS. I need some advice on how to handle this, he seems pretty violent, the way he went to a senior citizens house at midnight to violently threaten her over a dog that HE STOLE, I’m just scared. Here’s the attachments of our messages, they WILL piss you off https://imgur.com/a/4Uutswi

3 important things to remember and do when it comes to tailing.
1) Check the person's post history. You can look on there page to see if some of the other slips they have posted have been successful. 99% of the time they don't be hitting which could call into question the reliability of the person, especially if they say it's a " lock". I think some of these people work for fanduel but I'll get to that in a sec.
2) Keep in mind that a large majority of the people you see who end up hitting don't post beforehand. There was a guy who turned 5 dollars to over 2k and he didn't share that slip. There's nothing wrong with that and knows one obligated to share beforehand you should keep that in mind. Now I'm about to sound like a conspiracy theorist but I also think some of these people work for fanduel. I believe these people post there wins to keep you motivated to gamble even when your on a losing streak.
3) Post listed as "heavily researched" doesn't really matter. Research can be helpful but a lot of people that I've seen hit are on some of most ridiculous plays you could think of. Like someone will randomly be Darius Garland to get 20 points Caris Levert to get over 15.5 and Kristaps Porzingis to hit 5 3s. And to top it off they'll bet $20. Even the guys that post players to get their bare minimum be losing like crazy. Hell not too long ago I tailed a bet on here without thinking too much about it and they had Jaylen Brown for over three and a half assist but in the last 10 games he hadn't hit that number.
This advice is typically for newcomers but I think it's good for anybody. I understand that nobody really asked for this but this is the type of stuff that I wish I knew when I first came to this sub. Also if you're somebody that's watching the NBA but never really bet before I'm going to tell you something I really wish I knew. THESE ARE THE MOST INCONSISTENT PLAYERS ON PLANET EARTH!!! That's just the world of betting. Please do it for yourself when you're on a losing streak take a break! Don't come on this sub turn the notifications off. Some people bet every day open for a big win which is fine but that's also how addiction starts. BOl to you all

Well, Clefable's votes were unsurprising. The vast majority of voters voted for Gen 6 OU, where Clefable first achieved Peak Clefable - although there were some people noting that it was arguably even more dominant in pre-home Gen 8 OU, where the limited metagame was incredibly kind to it. Clefable has joined Landorus-T in the Forever OU Gang...although, we thought Tyranitar and Garchomp belonged there too, and look how that went.
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Moving along, though, we move to Ninetales, the elegant fire fox, which in most cases is a superior browser to Chrome. Aside its design, in most of its early history it was a fairly unremarkable Fire-type special attacker in a universe with many, many, many of those. In Generation 5, however, things began to change for it...
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So let's get to it. The metagames in question:
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Gen 1 UU: You'd think that Ninetales is solidly outclassed by Moltres in a tier that includes Moltres, with no abilities existing to help Ninetales along, and it seems that for a while, this was considered to be the case. However, the current VR tells a different story, with Moltres having fallen off an absolute cliff to the point where it's now tiered in NU, while Ninetales sits much more comfortably as a lead. The reason? Articuno. In Generation 1, Fire doesn't resist Ice, so Moltres (and Charizard)'s weakness to Ice makes their matchups with Articuno awful - and Moltres is the same speed as Articuno, too, making it even worse. Ninetales is faster than Articuno, threatens it with powerful Fire Blasts that have a solid chance to Burn and cripple physical attackers like Dragonite, and can use Body Slam to fish for paralysis on switch-ins. Dodrio moving up also helps, as it CANNOT switch into Ninetales at all. It's got a solid place in the lead metagame due to its truly bad matchup, Tentacruel, being a way too valuable mon to use as a lead (especially when Kadabra exists) and, even though it still has flaws, it really has enough going for it for the VR to place Ninetales in B- rank.
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Gen 2 NU: I don't know why Game Freak decided to look at Ninetales and thought 'this thing needs to be nerfed', bringing its Special Attack down from 100 to 80, but they did, and Ninetales is forever cursing the day this happened, dropping it into GSC NU. However, it's a decent mon there. Its high special bulk lets it take on Xatu, Magmar, and Weezing very well while threatening Weezing especially back with Flamethrower (preferred over Fire Blast due to Ninetales's more defensive role), and access to Sunny Day allows it to gain some power back despite the nerf. It also gets Roar to take advantage of Pineco's Spikes, and its defensive profile with limited coverage gives it solid case as a RestTalker. There's just one problem - one of the best Pokemon in the tier is Water-type Octillery, and Dewgong is a solid threat too. Ninetales can't make any real progress against Octillery, and being so hard countered by one of NU's best mons is tough for it. Still, the VR places Ninetales in B+ rank, a very respectable showing.
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Gen 3 UU: And due to the addition of the new great Status-inducing Will-o-Wisp, Ninetales got moved back up to UU in ADV!! Where it's...kind of terrible. Unfortunately for Ninetales, in the most recent tier shift, Arcanine entered the tier. Arcanine completely outclasses Ninetales in almost every way, and has the great ability Intimidate, AND higher Special Attack! There is, quite honestly, literally no reason to use Ninetales in the current Gen 3 UU, unless you REALLY want a Fire-type Will-o-Wisp user. The current VR places Ninetales in C- rank, barely above completely useless. Gen 3 UU will be excluded from the poll.
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Gen 4 NU: They decided to throw Ninetales a bit of a bone this generation, giving it access to an actual coverage move in Energy Ball and a powerful setup move in Nasty Plot. What's more, its ability in Flash Fire allows it to switch into expected Fire-type attacks from mons like Charizard and threaten them back with boosted moves - and DPP NU is a tier with a number of strong Fire-types! It can also effectively run Choice Specs, or Hypnosis to nail pokemon on the switch. That said, it's stuck using the mediocre Hidden Power Rock to hit opposing Fire-types, and other Flash Fire mons like Houndoom can exploit it quite well. Bulky Waters that don't take too much from Energy Ball, too, can deal with it, especially Mantine. Overall, it's solid, if not amazing, with the VR placing Ninetales in B rank.
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Gen 5 OU: It's time for Ninetales's big moment in the sun (ha ha.). As the only non-legendary in Generation 5 with the ability Drought, Ninetales is absolutely essential on Sun teams. That sounds great, yes, but...First off, Sun's big tools against Rain and Sand used to be its powerful Grass-type Chlorophyll mons, specifically Venusaur. That's banned, now, and while Rain and Sand were able to get along without their Swift Swim and Sand Rush, Sun was absolutely crippled. As Ninetales is useless on non-Sun teams, its ability to work is shaky at best, and its weakness to Stealth Rock makes it even harder to use. Unfortunately for Ninetales, its big moment of the sun was before the weather speed abilities ban, and it's just not good enough anymore. The VR places Ninetales in C rank. As unfortunate as it is, I have to exclude Ninetales's sole OU placement from the VR.
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Gen 6 PU: And to add insult to injury, Ninetales no longer has exclusive access to Drought, with Torkoal being considered a better Sun setter in most cases, forcing it to lower tiers. These lower tiers have Drought banned, forcing it to the inferior Flash Fire. Gen 6 saw Ninetales fall all the way down to PU, where it's, as is often the case for Ninetales, okay if nothing flashy. Its Nasty Plot and Fire Blast are as strong as ever, which in the era of power creep and Mega Evolution, lands it in a solid niche in a low, low tier. It's still decent (although earlier on in the gen it was considered the premier fire type of ORAS PU), with its ability to force out some mons, however there are just faster mons in lower tiers now, meaning there is plenty that revenges it, like Floatzel, Ursaring, and Simipour. That said, however, Ninetales can absolutely demolish Quagsire with its interesting coverage option in Energy Ball, allowing it to setup break stall without getting walled by Quagsire - a very powerful niche! While Ninetales might struggle against fast frail Water-types, against slower bulkier mons, Ninetales is very much in its element! The VR currently places Ninetales in B rank.
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Gen 7 RU: In a nice turn of events, Ninetales is able to end up in a tier where it doesn't have to compete with Torkoal, but Sun is legal. Nasty Plot and Choice Specs remain solid options with its high power, and having the ability to actually use Solar Beam means that Water-types are no longer a huge issue for it, especially slow bulky ones. The addition of Z-crystals is a major positive for a setup mon like Ninetales, as +2 Inferno Overdrive in Sun will obliterate most things that aren't Snorlax or enemy Flash Fire users. What's more, Virizion and Metagross are two of the best mons in the metagame, and Ninetales loves that - even if Salazzle gives it a bit of pause. While it still has its issues of being a bit frail, and being weak to Stealth Rocks, and letting in certain walls like Goodra and Snorlax pretty easily, it's still a very good mon for aggressive or balanced teams when it can come in. The VR places Ninetales in A rank.
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Gen 8 ZU: Unfortunately, Ninetales is dropped from the the Drought-legal tiers again, and forced back into its inferior ability. It still has some solid play here, with its ability as a Nasty Plot sweeper being especially threatening in such a low power tier, but it has competition in fellow Gen 1 fire type Rapidash, whose physical ability and Play Rough access to threaten Dragon-types like Altaria gives it purchase. It's still decent enough, but it's a bit of a matchup fish (in part because people tend to prepare more for Rapidash, sometimes ending up with teams that are weak to Ninetales, as they are very different counterplay despite both being faster Fire Types.). The VR currently places Ninetales in B- rank.
View Poll

Hi everyone!
👀 I had already written a post to share with you my long-term detox method. I've been applying it for 4 months now, and it's quite incredible. I'm writing this message to give you feedback. Yes, I "succumbed to temptation" a few times, for example, to quickly make bank transfers, or to reply to some messages while comfortably seated on my couch. But those times were few, and I quickly realized that they were exceptional, so I would quickly put the phone back in the hallway of my apartment afterward. It's like take off your shoes or coat before entering home. 📌 Most of the time, I stick to what I've set up, and the well-being that comes from it is beyond what I hoped for. I come home from work and I'm at home, without distractions. I've even gotten into the habit of not immediately turning on my computer. I clean, exercise, listen to a record, meditate, write, read, and as a last resort, I turn on the computer (which can happen, it's a tool after all, and I really do need it often to watch a movie, listen to music, or take care of administrative tasks, make purchases, etc.). ♾️ Yesterday, I came home and I was like "transported" by the silence. Knowing that my phone is out of reach calms me. My overall anxiety has greatly decreased. Knowing that no one can disturb me. I took my e-reader and read for an hour sitting on a chair with the sound of the rain outside, fully in the moment, instead of wasting time on YouTube videos or Instagram feeds that I don't care about. It was magical, a moment for myself, to settle down, to refocus, a real "90's feeling". I also do this a lot during solitary walks without my phone (or in airplane mode at the bottom of my bag). As it turns out, the solution exists, it's within reach. Disconnecting. I still have progress to make on YouTube videos and using my computer, but I already feel much better. More present, in reality. 👉 As a reminder, my phone is in grayscale, I have TouchID on most apps to slow myself down, Apple's screen time feature, and ScreenZen on top of that. I removed Instagram, I just have Tumblr and Pinterest on it, in terms of social networks, and Signal/Whatsapp.
Maybe it's because I work all day long on a computer at work, but unless it's for write or watching movies, I really feel that screens (and not only computers) are toxic in a lot of ways. They suck our energy, focus, desire. It's awful. I hope this message motivates some of you to try my method and above all, to free yourselves from this digital life that isn't worth it.
🙌
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Steam Deck and Viture sound issues
Hello everyone,
I'm not really sure what I'm expecting posting here considering I asked for help in another post recently and not a single person even tried...but I'm really hoping someone can help me because I'm about at my wits end and going to throw my steam deck and glasses out a freaking window...
I recently purchased the Viture glasses and I really want to like them, but it's been nonstop issues.
My current issue is now I am not getting any sound out of one or the other depending on the "fix" I found. I saw a post that stated turning off Rembrandt Radeon High Definition Audio controller in steam desktop mode. Doing so brought sound back to my Steam Deck but now when I plug in an external source, like the Viture glasses, I get no sound. Through some messing around in the audio settings and turning back on the Rembrandt drivers and testing some of the options that come up after turning them on and one of them when doing the Test sends sound to the glasses, but when going back into Gaming mode I still get no sound out of the glasses and then doing get sound out of anything.
I don't know what is going on and it never used to be this way, I could just plug in headphones, put it on the dock to the tv or whatever and the sound would just work.
Does anyone have any idea how to fix this issue, please???

From 2019 to 2021 I (28, trans man) dated a woman (26F now). She was extremely physically abusive and tried to isolate me from my friends and family as well as ruin my connections with them which worked. In 2021 she ran off with some other guy she met online but honestly at that point I was more relieved than heartbroken. Living with her was hell. A few months later she begged me to take her back because things didn’t work out but I refused.
I thought I could just go back to my old life until I found out that when she said she’d “follow me to the ends of the earth and make sure I never found peace if I left her” she intended to make good on that.
She’s been stalking me. On one of my socials I noticed a weird account kept viewing my page and decided to see if it was anyone I knew. Turned out it was her. I later noticed similar accounts monitoring me on other social media (Facebook, Tumblr, etc). Keep in mind that after I refused to take her back I deleted all my socials and changed my phone number, email address and moved and resurfaced under a different screen name about a year later.
I need to circle back and give you some e background information on why I am so scared of her. She views herself as a vigilante. I found out while I was with her that I was not the first person she’s done this to.
Often times she feels like she hasn’t done enough and keeps tabs on people online. She had an ex boyfriend she did that too who I found out about long after she moved in with me. The guy relocated shortly after they broke up but she managed to dig up not only his new address but a bunch of other stuff like who he was living with and places he went to regularly. She had plans to come back and get revenge on him for dumping her and those two were only together for a few mont. We were together for a couple years and living together so I think she has something extra nasty in store for me, particularly since I started seeing someone else a couple years later.
People have dismissed my concerns because she’s “just a girl” and some even think I did something to deserve it. She tried to snap my cats neck, broke my nose by hitting me in the face with her big ass clunky phone, and attempted to stab me in the eye for talking to my aunt. She also told me that if I ever found anyone else after her she’d kill them. After some of the things she did to me I don’t think that was an empty threat.
Here’s the plan I’m trying make. I don’t think what she’s doing is limited to cyber stocking. I’ve been getting some really funny phone calls the last couple of days, even though I changed my phone number a couple of years ago. Not just on my cell phone either. I spent a couple days in a motel and received a funny call on the landline they had in their motel room. When I picked up, all I heard, was breathing on the other end for quite some time before they hung up. This is similar to the stuff she did in 2021 after I told her I wasn’t taking her back hence why I changed my number in the first place.
It even happened at work. I work the night shift and if you get any calls, it’s my job to answer them because I work the front. Normally, we never ever get calls after 10 PM and got one around one in the morning. It could’ve been someone who called us by accident but when I picked up the phone I heard a heavily distorted voice on the other end. I couldn’t really understand what they were saying, but it sounded like they said my name just before hanging up.
There’s another thing that really freaks me out. I got a few calls on my cell from a number with the same area code as hers. I looked the number up and not only did I find her name associated with it, but it also listed her newest address, as being in a city about an hour away from me. I find this particularly alarming, because her permanent address has been in the same state, her whole life and I moved to a different state because I knew she lived in that area. Now it says she lives in my state only 39 miles north of me.
I realize how crazy and paranoid I sound but I think I’ve got a reason to.
My problem is I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to move because I finally have a somewhat stable job. I’m on track to transfer to the university here and finish off my bachelors degree. This city also has some really good doctors and it is so hard to find a good doctor these days. I’ve only been here a little over a year. I don’t want have to move again.
The only person who knows about this is my mom who suggested I break my lease and move back in with her but I don’t want to do that. I made so much progress and I don’t want to ruin it and go back to living with somebody who treats me like I’m 12 years old, doesn’t accept me and is almost as controlling as my ex was.
I also don’t want to put anyone else in danger though. She went after my friends before, who’s to say she won’t do it again? Should I cut all of them off and break up with the person in seeing how to protect them?

Today illustrated that the Democrats have become America’s cheerleaders, emphasizing how investment in the nation’s infrastructure has created jobs and rebuilt the country. This week, the Biden-Harris administration is touting its investments in rebuilding roads and bridges, making sure Americans have clean water, getting rid of pollution, expanding access to high-speed internet, and building a clean energy economy, contrasting that success with Trump’s eternal announcements of an “Infrastructure Week” that never came.
The White House today announced that it has awarded nearly $454 billion in funding from the Bipartisan Infrastructure Law, including more than 56,000 projects across more than 4,500 communities across the nation. Those include fixing more than 165,000 miles of roads and more than 9,400 bridges and improving more than 450 ports and 300 airport terminals. It has funded more than 1,400 drinking water and wastewater projects and projects to replace up to 1.7 million toxic lead pipes, as well as more than 8,000 low- and zero-emission buses. It has funded 95 previously unfunded Superfund projects to clean up contaminated sites. It has improved the electrical grid and funded 12,000 miles of high-speed internet infrastructure, and exposed internet junk fees.
The White House explained that this investment is making it cheaper to install clean energy technology and lowering families’ monthly energy bills, and highlighted today the available rebates to enable people to take advantage of the new technologies.
On Wednesday, May 8, a report from the Semiconductor Industry Association and the Boston Consulting Group explored the “breathtaking speed,” as the president of the semiconductor organization put it, at which the industry is growing. In the Financial Times on May 9, John Thornhill reported that the CHIPS and Science Act, which provided a $39 billion investment in the semiconductor industry, has “primed a torrent of private sector investment.” With the influx of both federal money and an additional $447 billion of private investment in 83 projects in 25 states, the report forecasts that the U.S. will increase its share of global manufacturing capacity for leading-edge chips from today’s rate of 0% to 28% by 2032. Thornhill compared this investment to that spurred by Russia’s 1957 launch of the Sputnik satellite.
The Economist yesterday announced that the U.S. “is in the midst of an extraordinary startup boom,” and explored “[h]ow the country revived its “go-getting spirit.”
In contrast to the Democrats’ confidence in America, the Republicans are all-in on the idea that the country is an apocalyptic wasteland. At a rally in New Jersey Saturday, Trump announced: “On day one we will throw out Bidenomics and reinstate MAGAnomics.” He promised to extend his 2017 tax cuts for the wealthy and corporations.
But the gist of his speech was an angry, vitriolic picture of a failing nation full of “enemies” that are “more dangerous” than China and Russia and who are “going to destroy our country.” In his telling, the criminal case against him in Manhattan is “bullsh*t,” and President Biden has done more damage than the “ten worst presidents in the history of our country” combined: “[h]e’s a fool; he’s not a smart man…[h]e’s a bad guy…the worst president ever, of any country. The whole world is laughing at him.”
Trump lied that other countries are “emptying out their mental institutions into the United States, our beautiful country. And now the prison populations all over the world are down. They don’t want to report that the mental-institution population is down because they’re taking people from insane asylums and from mental institutions.” Then he riffed into “the late great Hannibal Lecter,” the fictional murderer and cannibal in the film The Silence of the Lambs, apparently to suggest that similar individuals are migrating to the U.S.
House Republicans this week are working to pass a nonbinding resolution to condemn Biden’s immigration policies, although it was Republicans, under orders from Trump, who killed a strong bipartisan immigration bill earlier this year.
The only way to turn back this apocalypse, Trump and his supporters insist, is to put Trump and his team back into the White House. From there, Republicans will return those they consider “real” Americans to power.
The last few days have added new information about what that means. On Thursday, May 9, Senators Katie Britt (R-AL), Marco Rubio (R-FL), and Kevin Cramer (R-ND) introduced the More Opportunities for Moms to Succeed (MOMS) act. Britt—who is best known for her disastrous response to Biden’s State of the Union speech from her kitchen—said the measure would provide a federal database of resources for pregnant women and women parenting young children, but that information excludes anything that touches on abortion.
The measure is clear that it enlists the government in opposition to abortion, but more than that, it establishes that the government will create a database of the names and contact information of pregnant women, which the government can then use “to follow up with users on additional resources that would be helpful for the users to review.”
A government database of pregnant women would give the federal government unprecedented control over individuals, and it is especially chilling after the story Caroline Kitchener broke in the Washington Post on May 3, that a Texas man, Collin Davis, filed a petition to stop his ex-partner from traveling to Colorado, where abortion is legal, to obtain an abortion. Should she do so, his lawyer wrote, he would “pursue wrongful-death claims against anyone involved in the killing of his unborn child.” Now Davis wants to be able to depose his former partner along with others he says are “complicit” in the abortion.
Antiabortion activists are also seeking to make mifepristone and misoprostol, drugs used in many abortions, hard to obtain. In Louisiana, state lawmakers are considering classifying the drugs as “controlled dangerous substances,” which would make possessing them carry penalties of up to ten years in prison and fines of up to $75,000.
More than 240 Louisiana doctors wrote to lawmakers saying that the drugs have none of the addictive characteristics associated with dangerous controlled substances and warning that the drugs are crucial for inducing routine labor and preventing catastrophic hemorrhage after delivery, in addition to their use in abortions. “Given its historically poor maternal health outcomes, Louisiana should prioritize safe and evidence-based care for pregnant women,” the doctors wrote.
Louisiana lawmakers also rejected a bill that would have allowed anyone under age 17, the age of consent in Louisiana, to have an abortion if they became pregnant after rape or incest. Passionate testimony from those who suffered such attacks or who treated pregnant girls as young as 8 failed to convince the Republican lawmakers to support the measure. “That baby [in the womb] is innocent.… We have to hang on to that,” said Republican state representative Dodie Horton.
Today, at the Asian Pacific American Institute for Congressional Studies, a nonpartisan, nonprofit organization promoting Asian American and Native Hawaiian/Pacific Islander participation and representation at all levels of the political process, Vice President Kamala Harris encouraged young people to innovate and to move into spaces from which they have been traditionally excluded.
“So here’s the thing about breaking barriers,” she said. “Breaking barriers does not mean you start on one side of the barrier and you end up on the other side. There’s breaking involved. And when you break things you get cut. And you may bleed. And it is worth it every time…. We have to know that sometimes people will open the door for you and leave it open. Sometimes they won’t. And then you need to kick that f*cking door down.”
Harris’s advice reflects the history that happened on this date in 1862, when the enslaved mariners on board the shallow-draft C.S.S. Planter gathered up their families, fired up the ship’s boilers, and sailed out of the Charleston, South Carolina, harbor. The three white officers of the ship had gone ashore, leaving enslaved 23-year-old pilot Robert Smalls to take control. Smalls knew how to steer the ship and give the proper signals to the Confederates at Fort Sumter, Fort Moultrie, and three other checkpoints.
Smalls piloted the Planter, the sixteen formerly enslaved people on it, and a head full of intelligence about the Confederate fortifications at Charleston to the U.S. Navy. In Confederate hands, the Planter had surveyed waterways and laid mines; now that information was in U.S. hands. Smalls went on to pilot naval vessels during the war, and in 1864 he bought the house formerly owned by the man who had enslaved him.
A natural leader, Smalls went on to become a businessman, politician, and strong advocate for education. After serving in the 1868 South Carolina Constitutional Convention that made school attendance compulsory and provided for universal male suffrage, he went on to serve in the South Carolina legislature from 1868 to 1874, when he was elected to the U.S. House of Representatives, where he served until 1887. When President Barack Obama signed an executive order establishing the nation’s first national monument concerning Reconstruction, he cited the life of Robert Smalls.
—
Notes:
https://newjerseymonitor.com/2024/05/12/trump-brings-2024-campaign-to-the-jersey-shore/
https://www.esquire.com/news-politics/politics/a60774814/trump-rally-new-jersey-weird-speech/
https://www.britt.senate.gov/wp-content/uploads/2024/05/MOMS-Act_FINAL-Britt_Rubio_Cramer1.pdf
https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/article/2024/may/11/katie-britt-proposes-federal-database-to-collect-data-on-pregnant-people
https://www.washingtonpost.com/investigations/2024/05/03/texas-abortion-investigations/
https://lailluminator.com/2024/05/08/rape-incest/
https://www.washingtonpost.com/nation/2024/05/13/abortion-pills-louisiana-controlled-substance/
https://www.economist.com/finance-and-economics/2024/05/12/america-is-in-the-midst-of-an-extraordinary-startup-boom
https://www.whitehouse.gov/briefing-room/statements-releases/2024/05/13/fact-sheet-biden-harris-administration-kicks-off-infrastructure-week-by-highlighting-historic-results-spurred-by-president-bidens-investing-in-america-agenda/
https://www.whitehouse.gov/briefing-room/statements-releases/2024/05/13/fact-sheet-president-bidens-investing-in-america-agenda-is-helping-american-families-across-the-country-save-money/
https://www.presidency.ucsb.edu/documents/icymi-the-great-american-innovation-engine-firing-again
https://www.ft.com/content/0d39e8f0-38ba-40aa-8ec8-d04e82afb690
https://www.nytimes.com/2024/05/08/us/politics/chips-grants-fuel-industry-growth.html
https://www.politico.com/news/2024/05/11/trump-rally-new-jersey-trial-fascists-00157482
https://obamawhitehouse.archives.gov/the-press-office/2017/01/12/presidential-proclamations-establishment-reconstruction-era-national
https://www.nps.gov/people/robert-smalls.htm
Twitter (X):
cspan/status/1790048826440503495
Fritschnestatus/1790051154887340473
rosiewestwood/status/1788291766866567439
CecileRichards/status/1789020452855140723
https://heathercoxrichardson.substack.com/p/may-13-2024

As If It Were Kismet: Prologue
Matt tore through the brush, blind in the dark. He didn’t care where he was going. He only knew he needed to be elsewhere. Far from here.
Behind him a creature howled that shocked his mind. It’s form was cruel and dangerous, though female. Nothing like the young woman she had once been. Nothing but a girl, a small and slight female.
It’s guttural growls and howls only grew closer as Matt tried to pick between seeing where he was going and getting away. The few times he looked he caught sight of the creature behind him. Hopping through the air with a speed that told him he was being toyed with. As if he were a mouse being played with by a cat.
But the reflex in him to run kept him going. His adrenaline going as hard as it could. The tightness and burning in his core tensing and locking up as his legs felt like there were being burned from within while taking on more of a heaviness.
His lungs were starting to betray him as he tried to gulp big breaths of air but only rapid and shallow breaths were all that he could manage. His brain was starting to burn….and then he was falling.
Falling down the side of a hill he saw the creature dart in a spring towards him, imperceivably fast almost. Catching him in mid air it seemed.
Managing to wrap its body around him and cushion his impact against the ground as they rolled. His mind barely took in what was happening during the roll. Only starting to understand what was happening once they were still.
The creature's triple D-cup breasts were unmistakably pressed hard against his back as he laid facing up at the night sky.
For a few seconds the world stilled and the needle light pain hitting the center of his brain took over for the cooking heat his brain had felt. His whole body felt heavy and reluctant to move.
Even if he could have really moved, a dull ache came over his limbs making them feel stilled and trapped as if by immeasurable amounts of sand that had engulfed him.
Slowly the arms holding him started to move. Moving so the creature's hands could start exploring him. Causing Matt to unstoppably let out a pathetic moan that made him go cold inside as hands lifted up his shirt and started to touch his exposed stomach and then his chest.
He would have whimpered so pathetically had he not still been in the depths of terror.
As its hands felt and groped his pecs he tried to situp as if to get away. For his efforts, his reward was a hand around his throat and a collection snarls and growls against his ear. A beastly, guttural voice spat words at him while somehow holding a feminine tone.
“Don’t move….I don’t know if I can calm down…”
Her words were not helped by her moans in his ear and the subsequent kissing of his ear. The flesh of his ear going between her lips as she moaned and seemed to pant. Releasing it and licking the side of his face with a moist warmth. He could feel its spittle, viscous and coating his flesh where the tongue touched. He could smell something in his saliva. Something that subtly entranced him.
Matt went stock still with fear and the confusion of mixed arousal. He barely perceived her right hand traveling lower on his body. A surprised moan and shudder echoed in the night from Matt’s lips as she took ahold of him. Her hand above his pants but still….stimulating him.
A light squeezing and almost probing of her digits kept him aroused and confused within her grasp. Resigning himself to the strange fate, Matt looked up at the stars as his mind tried not to shatter under the strange maelstrom of events and sensation that had started mere minutes ago.
His mind was only more confused as a slight figure, feminine in build, how it seemed to thunk the ground audibly as she landed on her feet out nowhere. Her knees barely bending under the pressure of the landing. Yet dirt was kicked up anyways and some of it onto Matt. Feeling it pepper his shirt and pants as it fell.
The figure, lit only faintly by moonlight, roared some dark tone Matt could only perceive as a demon as her eyes went bright with a crimson light. A light in the darkness that should not have been. “Let him go you bitch.” Was its words following the roar. Spittle escaping its mouth with faint droplets hit Matt's face.
The creature holding him by his throat and crotch seemed to tighten the grasp of both hands as it roared back. “HE IS MINE!”
The figure paused with a moment's hesitation. He was also her quarry. She had felt his fear without him knowing. His confused arousal. His fear. His terror.
And now he laid at the center of a struggle between two monsters. Unsure of who he wanted to win.
As If It Was Kismet Ch. 1
Matthew Berkshire hadn’t seen his mom in two years. Not that he had seen her much over the last six years.
A messy divorce between messy people and mom’s chaotic want for a life in Alaska had been one of the most…upsetting times in life. Setting him up for so much of what had defined his life thus far but then that had really started two years before he ever turned.
His ear buds were basic and simple. A part of cheap five pack, common for his life as he was known to lose little things. Small things. They had a mix of metal and hard rock playing in them. Some classics, some alternative. Whatever made him feel something, anything. Even if it was hate. Anger. Rage. It was better than feeling numb. Not belonging.
The escalator down to his lone bag to go with his lone carry on showed his mom waiting for him. His had a type, that’s for damn sure. Not that it helped him in the genetics department as he was stuck at 5’9” to go along with his mother’s five foot even as his dad stood six foot. Forever leaving him to feel small, to pale, under his dad’s shadow. Did he ever stand a chance?
The guy next to her with the unkempt former seventies porn stache was “Dave.” He’d met him twice when his mother came and visited him in Florida. To his credit the guy didn’t look annoyed. Kind of concerned kind of which made Matthew want to break his frozen look but he was well practiced. Having removed any note of sadness from his face through much…tribulation.
His mother’s look on her face betrayed a hint of worry as the bruises on his face lightly showed up close. Saying his name was his like a distant echo that belonged to someone else.
Dave cut in and pulled out his right headphone. “What the hell bud, they knock you hard enough to hurt hearing? Your mom’s asking how you are doing.”
Matthew pulled out the other bud and grunted an empty “sorry.”
“You still have bruises after two week? What did they do to you?” His mom’s voice was full of worry. Something he hadn’t heard in….too long. Too long to make him feel anything. To ever make him believe there was any sincerity to her words. To not think her voice and mannerisms were an act. An act by someone who…wasn’t really there.
“It’s only fair. I took a nose. Fractured a couple orbital bones. Left one with having to get his jaw wired shut. And one will never walk right again for what I did to his knee cap.” Matthew said it all with a bored and disinterested tone. Perhaps well rehearsed.
“My man, handing out ass kickings, not bothering to take names.” Dave was quick to be the typical man’s man about it. Matthew wasn’t quite done yet. Lifting up his shirt to expose the right side near his kidney. Revealing a nasty scar from a six inch blade. “Luckily they gave me this first so they could rule it all in self-defense. The fuck didn’t get it in more than inch before I ruined his knee cap and then I took the nose of one of the fucks holding me.” Now he chose to smile keeping the well practiced dead look in his eyes.
No retorts. No questions. Just horrified looks on their faces. As he liked. As he preferred. They could hate him. They could be disgusted by him. But by God they would fear him.
“Well the doc did a good job sewing you up.” Dave commented uncomfortably. “Dissolving sutures. Ain’t they grand.” He smiled again and let it abruptly fall off his face and started walking to the carousel for the baggage claim.
Waiting and making small talk with Dave as his mother stood in silence. He was not the little boy she abandoned. The little boy she left with an angry man. While never hitting him. Left him in constant fear till he turned twelve and just didn’t care anymore. Something snapped. Broke. And he didn’t care if he died. Didn’t care if he stole. Didn’t even care if he killed. He just knew not to get caught. Something left over from his grandfather’s wisdom which came to make more and more sense with each passing year of life since that thing inside him broke.
Finally his bag came around and Dave went to try first to grab it but Dave practically leapt ahead of him. “Is that your grandfather’s rucksack bag?” his mother asked in a perplexed voice.
“Figured it’s been around since Viet Nam. So it’d serve me better than any of the worthless stuff they called luggage.” Dave commented after Matthew’s words. “Well hell yeah I still got mine from Desert Storm. You know the first one.” Dave laughed and Matthew eyed him oddly. Be it in the south or whether it was Alaska, country boys are country boys he guessed.
The car ride to the two people’s house, as Matthew thought of them. Was uneventful and full of vistas he imagined metropolitan types wetting themselves over. At most they meant isolation to him. Furtherness from the world as there were no mountains in Florida. And what mountains he had last seen in another state had been when he was eight. Another life, to Matthew it felt like. A life alien to him.
As If It Was Kismet Ch 2
Dave and his mom’s place was some two story type tucked into a tree line far up an elevated point. It was by no means the highest point in the mountain but it certainly felt up there.
Rocks were where the driveway should have been Matthew thought. Grabbing his backpack and rucksack from Dave’s jeep was no hard thing for him. Matthew was in formidable shape for someone his age, maybe even five years older. He had gotten a mix of fairly big shoulders and arms along with the chest to go for it when compared to most kids his age. A side effect of working out at least twice a day. First thing in the morning, some time in the evening, and the school’s gym when had had a good semester in school before he had to leave Florida.
Dave tried to come up and help him but Matthew walked past him towards the house. His mom was not sure what to make of his demeanor. Matthew was not the sweet kind boy he had once been. But she had been gone from his life essentially for a long time.
Ushering him into the house she cracked some joke he did not hear. He was too busy looking about and seeing a mix of old outdated decorating mixed with the strange and odd flair of his mother. Color contrasting against drab and dated. Like brightly painting over an old home that was falling apart he thought.
“Your room is this way Mattie.” His mom brightly intoned.
Without expressing any interest he followed his mother. Still faced and nonplussed. Just going along with the current. Pushed and pulled with its roll like a piece of driftwood.
The room was simple. A single small bed. A set of rubber weights with a curl bar and barbells. “Your dad said you were into weight lifting so we got you a bunch of stuff. Dave says it looks like his department’s gym almost. The woman’s smile felt very alien to him.
“Thank you. I appreciate it. I’ve got most of my stuff from home.” Matthew starting unpacking his rucksack and pulled out cables of repetitive and mixed colors. A single plastic barbell handle. The ruck sack could be filled with water bottles for added weight during pushups he figured. Remembering a Michael Keaton movie he watched with his dad post-Batman movies where he played a convicted killer using plastic bags filled with water for weights.
Matthew caught movement outside his lone fairly large window that could let him step out onto the roof of the house given its layout.
He saw a number of people running together through what he guessed was the backyard of the property, not that it had any fences to mark boundaries
They wore clothes that looked similar yet different from each other at the same time.”Oh those are the Johnston’s. Really nice bunch of people. Been on the mountain for a long time Dave tells me.”
Matthew looked at the group of people running and noticed the lack of resemblance. “They are related?” Matthew quizzically asked. Seeing a black and possibly a hispanic person amongst the bland looking white people.
“Oh well they are all adopted but for one or two of them…besides the parents of course. The family has a long tradition of taking in orphans they say. Real nice of them to do that don’t you think.”
Matthew looked at his mother and the hosier accent made no sense to him as he arched his left eye brow. Her and his dad were both from Florida. Born and raised. Sure her parents were from New York city but…
Matthew shook his lightly without turning to look at his mother as his vision was grabbed by one of the runners in particular. A girl of moderate height. Soft brunette. A plain beauty he figured with a slim build….and lack of remarkable breasts and rear to make any note of but….girls in general were his type at his age.
She was pretty enough. He couldn’t deny that but he found himself transfixed by her visage.
But the way she turned and looked at him, especially at that distance felt very disconcerting to him. Even if she was smiling like…she was a taste of a bright shiny day. Somehow.
Matthew’s mom noticed the exchange and smiled to herself with closed lips. “Oh that’s Vicky. She’s your age I think. Very sweet girl, who does the charity functions. You know bake sales, blood drives, car washes and the like. I think you should get to know her. Might be good for you.”
A truck horn sounded a couple of beeps in rather succession. “Oh that must be Mack, he said he might come by later this evening but he seems early.”
Matthew’s mother turned and left his room. Leaving Matthew to exchange a few looks with the alluring Vicky as she turned her head away from him to talk to the others in her group and look back at him.
Still Matthew’s left eyebrow was arched. In a way that reminded him of Spock from Star Trek that he and his grandpa used to watch on some streaming service or another.
As he heard ambient chatter elsewhere outside the house he figured to check it out as the alluring sight of Vicky would be around he figured. It was dull to stare at artwork. He was a boy who preferred jet skis and the like. Something he could ride and enjoy immensely. Even if at times it got him stabbed.
As If It Was Kismet Ch 3
Matthew sauntered out of the house and down the rockway that stood in for a driveway.
A few new people had come over from what he could first surmise of the situation. As he got closer it was obvious they were indigenous people. A couple of grown men…and a girl?
She was mousey. Maybe five foot. Hiding behind glasses and a big camo jacket that was far too big for her. It looked made for a grown man and the backwards trucker hat on her head kept her long black a beautiful mess of sorts.
She was cute in a way. A little androgynous but she had a cute energy to her. She reminded him of the more tomboyish Puerto Rican girls he had gotten into back in Florida. Given the deer corpses in the back of the truck….probably more dangerous to play with given the men in her family.
Small chatter passed between the adults when the girl noticed but turned away, trying to hide the tiny hint of a smile.
“Oh Mattie, this is Mack. He works with Dave at the sheriff’s department and John, he’s with fish and wildlife.” Matthew nodded at his mom’s words with some blankness as he looked at the deer the in the back of the pickup truck.
“Gale tells us you hunted with your dad some in Florida and Georgia.” Mack offered with a light hearted laugh camouflaged by his big simple and cheery but husky way he spoke.
Looking in the back of the truck he spoke. “We used lever action thirty-thirties and Mosin Nagants in seven-six-two-fifty-four-rimmed.” Mack and John whistled in an exaggerated fashion. Leaving Matthew to wonder if they were mocking him.
Mack spoke. “Well we just used thirty-odd-six in a custom gussied Garand.” That caught Matthew’s attention. “You have a Garand…” Matthew finally demonstrated interest in anything. “My dad has an SVT-40 and a Hakim 8mm but he always wanted a Garand but was too cheap to buy one.”
Gale, his mother, chimed in loudly. “Oh his Dad loved his guns but was such an odd duck about how he bought or why he bought them. Never made sense to me how he wasn’t a collector but he didn’t get the latest and greatest.” Gale laughed uncomfortably. At least it seemed that way to Matthew.
Matthew pointed to the girl with an underhanded pointing hand. “And who is this? A cute little mute mouse or does she have a name?” Dave and the other men laughed.
Mack again spoke. “Well you people call her Rebecca, she’s my adopted daughter.” Matthew was taken aback by what he heard. “You people?”
Rebecca kindly spoke with a soft but almost melodic voice as she struggled to maintain eye contact. “White people or rather not members of our tribe. It’s just easier to appease the colonizer kind of thing. Borrowed from when the Jesuit missionaries chased us up here.”
Mack stepped in. “It’s just easier to have white people names than have them try to say our tribal names. And we don’t want them shortening or Anglicising our names kind of thing.” Rebecca stepped back into the conversation cutting off her adopted father. “It’s an insult to our history basically.”
Matthew cocked his head sideways raising his eyebrows shortly before letting them drop. “Well as soon as I’m eighteen I’m out of here and back to Florida so I’m a sort of involuntary colonizer of sorts. So I won’t be taking any of your land from you. The Seminoles on the other hand are still shit out of luck.”
Rebecca’s smile caused Matthew to reflexively smile. Mack made the moment more awkward. “See Becca, I told you someone off the reservation would like you some. You just have to be creative.” Mack laughed in a chiding manner…Matthew presumed. He sensed that he was the butt of some kind of cultural joke. Like marrying a white guy was some sort of insult or mark of shame. That kind of thing.
Rebecca turning away from him was not something he had been expecting. Her then getting in the truck in a huff left the group in a silence for a moment.
Dave spoke to break the awkward silence. “Well just bring the truck to work on Monday and leave it for me to grab up.” Mack acknowledged Dave and they started to get off as Rebecca looked at Matthew for another instance. Matthew couldn’t look away for some reason as the two seemed to lock eyes for an instance.
Till Vicky and family seemed to come jogging down the road. While Matthew’s eyes diverted from Rebecca’s. Hers did not till she realized he was looking elsewhere. And her vision found Vicky and what had been a hint of smile on her face turned glum and disappointed.
Matthew did not look away from the vision of Vicky but instead of a starry eyed fool looking longingly. It was a baffled look. Well baffled for him, with his eyes drawn narrow and night with a focus.
There was something about her…he couldn’t quite put a name too. The way she appeared to him. One second brunette. The next second blonde or blonde like. As if the color appeared in her air and disappeared in fractions of seconds. Much the same way her body almost seemed to…shift…very subtly…smoothly. A nicer bum. Larger breasts. And then back to a simple and plain form. Feminine no doubt. Attractive. But not so…remarkable.
As If It Was Kismet Ch 4
The next two days passed without incident. Nothing of any real substance or challenge to note.
Matthew got settled somewhat and started working out almost immediately. Exploring around the woods but Dave told him not to go far. Especially without a hunting rifle. Dave had left a simple semi-auto Winchester out for him. His bear gun as Dave referred to it with its four round magazine. But Matt figured till he got some practice with the rifle to leave it alone. He made a hiking stick like his grandpa taught him and treated it over a low fire. He would take some electrical tape for the end his hand would grip around. Plenty enough to ward off anything smaller than a bear he figured.
The ride to school was a pain in the neck but simple enough. Dave would let him use a clunker pickup truck he had laying around. It wasn’t pretty but it would get him to and from. Even if it was from the eighties and still backfired on occasion. But for now Dave and his mom took him on their way to the sheriff’s department.
It wasn’t much of a school. It wanted to be modern but its fifties original construction was very obvious. It serviced the pipeline families and familys’ of fisherman who worked the seasons in between their time at the pipeline.
Matt was to report to the principal for some reason Dave and his mom wouldn’t share. Which annoyed him but he figured it was to read him the law of land. Small towns with their big views of the outside world and like.
Dressed in jeans, a grey sweatshirt under a light jacket with steel toed boots set him more apart then he expected. His buzzed head didn’t help matters. Already he was feeling like a stranger in a strange land but he was quite strange after all. And he liked it that way. Normal people were so pathetically disappointing to him.
A secretary or assistant or some such led him to the principal’s office. Where it reeked of real wood that was old and fabric and upholstery that needed to be updated for the last twenty years, Matt figured.
“This is Matthew Berkshire, Principal Andrews.” The man was turned with his back to the door and he was quick to wave her off as he turned her around.
He was an older man. Fat and large. Tall with a body built like he had once been fit and a demeanour of annoyed and irate already as he fixed Matt with a scowl and look of disgust. Another worthless government whore. Matt thought to himself. His father and his grandfather had bestowed unto him a natural disrespect for government workers and the figures that wore unjustified authority as a shield but pretended the weight of the state was not at their back ready to crush all who resisted. Little figures of valor pretending to be mighty and alone but acting with the tyranny of the state and all the backing.
“Mr. Berkshire, please sit down.” His tone wasn’t unusually hostile, just gruff. As if he had better things to do.
Matt complied and took a seat in the chair while maintaining a friendly facade. Not everyone was an enemy. And not everyone needed to be an enemy. Even if anybody could be any enemy. There was no reason to make enemies you didn’t have to. Another of his grandfather’s bastardised wisdoms.
“Well I looked over you file and you have quite the history Mr. Berkshire.” Matt resisted qiuping back a joke. Instead he waited for Principal Andrews to continue as he remained nonplussed and looking as if he felt no need to respond. A simple head tilt with dead eyes looking back at the principle as if he was not even there would suffice.
Matt’s reaction or lack of a reaction rather made Principal Andrews only narrow his eyes with examination. He was not used to a kid not responding to him. Especially with his gruff and hard act going on.
“Well by all accounts you moved here after some problems at your last school. A fight broke out and you did some real harm to your fellow students it appears.” Of course, he would take the side of the perpetrators. School administrators always did. Especially when they weren’t white. Just a fact of the times. Cowardice and pathetic mediocrity was the way they leaned, like good government workers sucking the dick of Big Daddy government. Worthless whores.
Matt chose to reply. “Oh you mean the criminals that stabbed me. Got arrested at the hospital and then pled to felonies. Yeah Florida, with the American counties are good like that.” Principal Andrews went real still. No shame. No fear. No penitence. He didn’t like that.
“Well be it as it may Mr. Berkshire we don’t tolerate that kind of behaviour here…” Matt cut him off responding with a deadpan tone. “You mean self-defense meant to save one’s own life while the cowardly and pathetic school workers look on with zero interest but to keep their money rolling in and will allow known gang members with records of violent acts and crimes that should have them expelled many times over, where in certain Democrat counties such cowardice and idiocy empowered a couple school shooters?”
Principal Andrews looked at the Matt with a note of disgust. “Look here Mr. Berkshire, your beliefs matter not one bit here. This isn’t Florida. We don’t like our way of life being disrupted by outside agitators who have problems with authority.”
Matt did his best not to roll his eyes and let the older fat man drone own as he dead-stared him. Lifeless and without emotion.
The man came to a finish and Matt spoke up without having listened to him or paid him any attention. “Great now that’s taken care of. Can I please get to class and finish my sentence of two years at your wonderful school?”
Principal Andrews huffed and snorted before calling in Vicky. Vicky stood in the corner after entering with a quiet and seamless presence. Matt felt disturbed and tried not betray his feelings as the young Vicky was perceived and not perceived to be moving.
Principal Andrews made the introductions and Matt nodded back. She was to be his chaperone for the day. They had the same classes and she was to show him the ropes so to speak. The ins and outs of the school. The locations of their classes.
He recognized her. It was hard not to. The way her appearance seemed to shift fluidly almost. The petite and skinny brunette ever so lightly had a big bust and blonde hair with curves added when she seemed to shift before his eyes. Like watching a film but each frame had a different person.
Matt didn’t say anything about it. Even if he did he would only be acknowledging his crazed state, if he had one. If.
Unlike an obedient puppy dog he got up in a slow and awkward fashion and followed behind her as his oddly disproportionate frame allowed. Causing her a note of concern for some reason. As if she was seeing something she shouldn’t have been….Or he was just weird. And Matt could admit to himself he was just weird. Part of his charm, he would jest about it at times. Not that he had many people to jest to now.
As If It Were Kismet Ch. 5
Following Vicky into the hall off to their first class was simple. She exchanged small talk and he slightly smiled as if to obviously suggest he was just being polite.
Inside his head, Matt was trying to figure out if he was having a psychotic break. The way Vicky looked kept changing and he looked at the other people around him and they stayed the same.
He was searching his mind as they were walking. And thus he wasn’t paying attention to where he was looking and so fell to his face forward over his feet seemingly out of nowhere.
A series of laughs erupted as it sunk in that he was obviously tripped. Like in prison this was a challenge to his superiority. If he let this pass he would be mocked and sneered at by this same group of boys. He wouldn’t walk to them like he was going to do nothing like a little bitch.
In a rage he turned and punched the stomach of the first face he saw. Some typical blonde haired wannabe jock. He knew from experience not to aim for the ribs. Instead he needed to aim for where he thought the belly button was.
Yells and screams blindly echoed around him as his after the punch he followed up his elbow of the opposite arm slamming into the face of the jock. Harder than a fist, the elbow struck the jock’s jaw and seemingly dropped him against a locker. Just in time to catch an errant and soft punch to the nose that sure enough hurt but did little to slow him down as his dad had taught him to fight through the pain. Blood and scars happened. They were a natural consequence of life to a man.
Taking the punch and falling further into his red state Matt headbutted the punch thrower before another guy arm bared his throat from behind. Which he managed to get his grip on the arm over a letterman jacked and jerk the unprepared boy to the side with him still latched on.
A few feet away from the lockers Matt knew his only chance was to jump and push off the lockers and knock the boy to the ground and so he did. He heard a thunk of the boy’s skull bouncing off the ground and he turned to pull out of the grapple.
The beatings he had taken from his father, the grapples, being choked unconscious. Had prepared him for fighting little bitches who didn’t know what a fight was. It wasn’t gay porn with rabbit punch fists flying.
Blood was running down his face and the pain started to hit him as the threats had been eliminated. Only then did he remember to breathe. Taking breathes as Vicky came up to him with tissues and took a hold of his nose.
“Owww owww owww what the fuck my nose could be broken.” He said to Vicky as she pulled his head up and back.
“It’s ok Carl. It’s done.” Matt tried to look to see who Vicky was talking to. It was a boy taller than his 5’9” by more than a small margin. The boy eyed him bored and annoyed before speaking. “What happened here?” An unoriginal line but one Matt couldn’t be a smart aleck about. “Well you see there was an outbreak of tripping and we all tripped over my dick. It happens.” Matt was about to laugh when Vicky seemed to pull up while still gripping his nose causing Matt no small amount of pain which he audibly evidenced.
Vicky spoke in a tone he wasn’t expecting. As if she was accustomed to issuing orders. “Keep Iris away from the hall till we sanitize the site. We have blood from at least three people contaminating the site. And have Jake bring me a spare jacket and shirt for this moron.”
Carl seemed to acknowledge her orders and seemed to blink away. Maybe the punch hit harder than he expected. He had no time to wonder as Vick took her hand away from his and pushed him against the lockers. With ease he had not been expecting from her form and stature.
Before he could respond Vicky licked his blood covered chin and then his lips and spoke to him. “Focus on me you little blood bag.” Her tone had an annoyed yet feminine sneer.
“Look into my eyes. Look at me. You belong to me. You are just another food source in a collection of food sources.” Her eyes were a beautiful hazel Matt thought. Almost green. Pretty like jewels in some old treasure collections. The eyes he could get lost in before kissing her. Finally Vicky was just a slight and petite brunette and he thought she was beautiful.
She would make a hell of a girlfriend. Some cute thing he could see laying on the beach in Florida on their sides laughing and smiling before trading light kisses while hands wandered innocently. Before his mind could drift further he felt her lips on his. It took him a second to mentally grasp the kiss but his arms were around her back as her hands were at his sides. His eyes reflexively closed as he saw hers close.
It was ineffable to Matt. Beyond words, what was happening. The kiss, the moments beforehand. The way his brain tickled with electricity and gentle warmth. He had never had a kiss like this and he had traded more than a few kisses with at least a few girls.
The kiss was like a warm bath with his consciousness slipping beneath the surface. Their lips only parted to try new angles and approaches as Matt struggled to take in breath. It was a moment he could have stayed trapped in for….he didn’t know. But a curt throat clearing by another girl pulled them out of the moment.
The girl was taller than Vicky. Blonde. With slight curves. Vicky addressed her bewildered and gobsmacked, and perhaps a bit embarrassed. “Tina?”

For me my fondest memory was during Legacy, I was growing a para in this underground cave-oasis area. Humans with torches were enabled and I befriended a group of them, maybe 4-5 humans? We chilled in this cave and it was a good old time all around. I was sitting in this open area of the cave where I could see the entrance though, and this Hypo Trex had poked its head into the entrance and I heard the footsteps. I was stunned cause this was the early days where it was only admins playing them with very rare sightings. The humans and I started panicking and the hypo entered the cave and killed a majority of the humans, leaving me to be the last alive as I ran to the other side of the cave. I was freaking out in person LMAO.
The hypo looked at me, made a growl sound of some sort, and left. I fondly recall watching the hypo leave the cave with those slow, heavy footsteps, floored by the encounter. So cool ingame! I eventually gathered the guts to exit the cave and try to find them again but never did!
Another fond memory was earlier in the game's age when mixed species herding and chat was a thing. I was a shant with trikes, gallis, maias, theris, etc., and we were on that old map with the giant rolling hills where the puertas ate the trees whole. We were nesting at this small pond all gathered around, and it felt like something straight out of The Land before Time. :D
Third fond memory was with a big para herd on legacy. We were fleeing from a giga who was hunting us down for a good 30 minutes, but I realized there were so many adult paras and just 1 adult giga. I turned my para around and started doing the threaten call. One by one, the other paras joined in as a line, we were all yelling at the giga, and the giga assessed the situation- eventually deciding it wasn't worth it and left. It was very neat!
I'm not sure if I'm blinded by nostalgia or if the game has gotten a bit more solitary/cold since evrima, but man, some of those times were really fun. I played legacy on an old laptop at near-minimum settings too, so it was never about how pretty the game was for me personally. :]

One of the lesser known and discussed components to David Kibbe’s approach to developing an authentic personal style is his color system.
What I think is quite unique about his approach is that it is rooted in color theory. I know that sounds kind of obvious… aren’t all personal color systems rooted in color theory? Not quite in the same way, no.
To go back to the absolute basics of color theory we start with the foundational concept of Primary Colors; Red, Yellow and Blue. Where In color theory; Yellow is Warm, Blue is Cool and Red is Neutral.
Disclaimer: Yes! There’s such thing as a Warm Blue or a Cool Yellow. David gives every season their own version of Yellow and Blue. However, we’re referencing a *pure** version of these colors - not a blend.*
So when we say “cool toned” this means the colors have a blue base since blue is cool. The same can be said for the concept of “warm toned” which means the colors have a yellow base since yellow is warm.
Now, nobody’s skin tone is literally yellow (we’re not lemons) or literally blue (we are not lizards). We are a complex blend of pigments that create a unique mix of tones within our skin, hair and eyes. What we’re looking to determine with our personal coloring here is wether we have a blue (cool) or golden (warm) undertone. With our hair and eyes providing extra clues but our undertone being the most important factor to consider.
Before we launch into the **Metamorphosis excerpt on David’s approach to personal color, I would like to pause and remind us all, that, as with all things Kibbe, it bares reminding that it is essential we leave all prior ideas on colouring aside and approach this process with a sense of playful exploration and curiosity. Our personal coloring just as our Kibbe ID is part of what makes us uniquely beautiful. So it’s not about there being a “correct” or “incorrect” answer. It’s about celebrating what is innate to us.*

Discovering the magic of your coloring

So much has been written in recent years about your coloring and "having your colors done" that I simply can't take you through this journey without a brief detour in this often confusing area.
As a firm believer in the beauty of our natural coloring, I've always felt that it should be enhanced and prized as one of our greatest gifts from Nature. Since I could be described as one of the pioneers of the modern color movement, I've worked long and hard to educate the public about the possibilities and systems that exist to make working with your coloring easy, clear, exciting, and most of all, fun!
In the past few years, I've watched many variations spring up on the basic theme of personal color analysis. As in all extremely popular fields, some of the "new" variations are simply gimmicks de- signed to cash in on the latest fad, while others bear at least some validity.
For my money, however, the basic system of the seasonal color theory originally developed by Johannes Itten of the Bauhaus School is still far and away the most effective.
This theory divides your coloring into four basic categories named after the seasons, based on two parts of your genetic makeup: (1) the undertone of your skin, which is blue or golden and functions as the "base" of your coloring; and (2) the in- tensity of your coloring, which has to do with the type of "contrast" between your hair. skin, and eyes.
Simply put, your "season" is a general description of the type of coloring you inherited and the palette of colors that will enhance it. Each "season" represents a family of colors that consists of over two million shades within the palette. Here's a brief description of each:

Winter

Blue undertone to the skin. High-contrast coloring (distinct difference between the hair, skin, eyes).
Palette: Cool, clear colors. Blue-based shades with sharp intensity. A jewel-toned palette ranging from vivid colors to very pale, icy shades.
Person: The hair is usually dark (a solid color as opposed to visibly highlighted) with an ash base, and the skin and eyes are quite clear.
Celebrities: Elizabeth Taylor, Cher, Diahann Carroll, Connie Chung.

Summer

Blue undertone to the skin. Blended contrast (the hair, skin, eyes tend to blend together).
Palette: Cool, muted colors. Blue- based shades with a saturated intensity. A dusty palette ranging from pastels to very deep shades.
Person: The hair is usually medium dark to medium light (a dense color with a very subtle highlight) with an ash base, and the skin tone is saturated while the eyes are softly muted.
Celebrities: Grace Kelly, Queen Elizabeth, Jane Fonda.

Autumn

Golden undertone to the skin. Contrast is medium to high, but characterized by richness.
Palette: Warm, intense colors. Yellow based shades with a heavy saturation of richness. A fiery palette ranging from very vivid, hot shades to a few softly muted neutrals.
Person: The hair is usually a richly highlighted shade with a red base, ranging from very deep chestnut to fiery auburn to a very deep honey. The skin tone is rich and saturated (ranging from very pale to very deep) and the eyes are a mixture of marbelized color.
Celebrities: Natalie Wood, Ann-Margret, Diane Keaton, Katharine Hepburn, Shari Bela- fonte-Harper.

Spring

Golden undertone to the skin. Contrast is delicate, but sharp.
Palette: Warm and clear colors. Yellow based shades with a light, bright intensity. A vibrant pal ette ranging from very fresh, vivid shades to a few clear pales.
Person: The hair is usually a medium dense shade (with a subtle natural highlight) and a golden or red base, ranging from medium golden brown to strawberry to golden blond. The skin tone is clear and delicate, and the eyes are crisp.
Celebrities; Shirley MacLaine, Sissy Spacek, Vanessa Williams, Arlene Dahl, Eva Gabor.

Draping the Seasons

Question: How can I determine my "season"? Can I tell by just looking at myself in the mir ror? Can I tell by looking at the underside of my wrists?
Not really. The best way to objectively determine your season is with the help of three or four friends. To correctly determine your season, you've got to first determine both the undertone of your skin (blue or golden), and then the type of contrast between your hair, skin, and eyes. The only way to accurately do this is by a process called "draping," whereby you drape selected shades of fabric under your chin and compare the color of the fabric to the colors in your face. You cannot determine your undertone by simply looking at your wrist because you are merely viewing the "shade" of your skin tone, as opposed to the undertone or base coloration.
In the draping process, you discover your skin's undertone by an indirect method. The aim is to enhance the undertone of your skin by using a complementary base color from the selected fabric.
Here's how to do this: With a group of three or four friends, assemble the following large swaths of fabric:

Four shades of green:

a) a blue-based emerald green (clear and vivid)
b) a blue-based sen green (soft and dusty)
c) a yellow-based mossy green (rich and in- tense)
d) a yellow-based bright chartreuse (light and clear)

Four shades of red:

a) a blue-based scarlet (clear and vivid)
b) a blue-based dusty raspberry (soft and muted)
c) a yellow-based tomato (rich and intense)
d) a yellow-based bright poppy (light and clear)

Four shades of blue:

a) a blue-based royal (clear and vivid)
b) a blue-based cornflower (soft and dusty)
c) a yellow-based teal (rich and intense)
d) a yellow-based bright aqua (light and clear)

Four shades of pink:

a) a blue-based fuchsia (vivid and clear)
b) a blue-based dusty rose (soft and muted)
c) a yellow-based salmon (rich and intense)
d) a yellow-based bright coral (light and bright)
Now drape each other in these colors, following the order in which they're listed. As you're watching this process, be sure to focus on the person's face, not the color. (Remember, you're seeking to discover which color brings the person out, not sim- ply the color you like best.)
In the right shade, you'll watch the person's skin tone become smooth and clear; shadows will seem to miraculously disappear!
In the wrong shades, the color will reflect onto the person's face; you'll notice the color, not the person.
Have your friends vote on what they're seeing. You'll nearly always find the consensus of others to be correct. (Your own opinion may be somewhat prejudiced by color preferences and the thought of having to change your wardrobe!)
If the consensus is that the colors of group a tested best on you consistently, you are a "Winter." If the consensus is toward group b, you are a "Summer." If the consensus is toward group c, you are an "Autumn"; and if the consensus is toward group d, then you are a "Spring."
NOTE: It's very important to perform this draping ceremony in natural light, so be sure you work near a large window with good sun exposure. Also, if your hair has been artificially colored, or has any chemical processing on it such as perms or waves, be sure to cover it with a white turban or bandanna. This will prevent your altered haircolor from throwing any shadows on your face, which could result in a misanalysis. This is crucial in determining your season, so don't forgo it in the name of vanity! Since the skin tone is a much subtler color than your hair, it's very easy to simply match the shades of fabric to the hair, rather than to the complexion. Also, be sure you remove all traces of makeup before you begin!

Questions & Answers

Q. Can I be a mixture of seasons!
A. No, you cannot. It's genetically impossible! Each "season" refers to a specific type of coloring, of which there are only four. For example, you cannot have a mixture of a golden and a blue undertone. Since the undertone functions as the base of your skin tone, it determines whether the shade of skin you have is either warm or cool. A color can only have one base, whether it's skin color, haircolor, fabric, a cosmetic shade, or even the paint on your wall!
The basic law of abstract color theory states that the base of a color determines its shade. For example, a burgundy red has a blue base. It is this blue base that actually causes the shade to be burgundy instead of some other shade of red, say tomato red or rust. Likewise, a mossy green is caused by a yellow base, while an emerald green is emerald because its base is blue! Your skin tone is exactly the same. An olive skin is always caused by a blue undertone. That's why it's olive and not a tawny beige (which is caused by a golden undertone). On the other hand, an ivory skin tone has a golden base, which is what makes it ivory instead of porcelain (which is caused by a blue undertone). There isn't a single individual-dead, alive. or yet to be born who possesses a mixture of undertones. It simply can not happen!
Q. What about "intensity"? Can I be a mixture of the "cools" (WinteSummer) or the "warms" (Autumn/Spring)!
A. No, you cannot. As with the undertone, you have one type of intensity to your coloring. High contrast coloring needs clear shades to enhance and bring it out effectively. Blended coloring needs a saturation of color to allow the subtlety of your coloring to show through gracefully. Mixing the clear colors with the dusty tones only negates your particular type of coloring.
Moreover, the palettes themselves simply don't mix effectively when you translate them into clothing and cosmetics. If you were to try to create color combinations of the cool Winter and Summer palettes, for example, you would never be able to effectively combine the jewel tones of Winter with the elegantly dusty shades of Summer. Since the palettes are of opposing intensities, the shades themselves are not at all complementary. Any resulting outfits of clothing would simply be a hodgepodge of mismatched colors!
Even more disasterous would be an attempt to mix the tones in cosmetics. For a makeup to be successful, you absolutely must keep all the colors on your face in one family of color, both in terms of the base and the intensity. Mixing them is akin to wearing a shocking pink blouse with a bright orange lipstick! While the result might not always be this glaring, opposite color families do not blend together!
Q. But I've had my colors done "professionally," and I was told I'm a mixture. Why would that have happened?
A. Basically, that means one of two things. Either you were analyzed incorrectly, which is, unfortunately, becoming quite common because of improper training and a lack of experience among color consultants, or it's simply a question of semantics.
Frequently, in an effort to delineate among the specific shades that you can actually wear effectively (be cause of the variations in individual skin tone, hair, and eye colors that exist within a season), color consult ants have attempted to make your palette as specific to you as possible. This sometimes manifests in your being labeled a mixture of seasons or having a "subseason." While this is technically incorrect, since the colors within the seasonal palettes do not actually blend with the other palettes, the result is usually a way of defining the range of shades within your season that appear most exciting on you.
From my experience, based on analyzing thousands of clients over a number of years, I simply find it too inaccurate and confusing to try to suggest to my clients that they "mix" the palettes. It's not helpful in a practical sense, for it doesn't actually add any colors that they can effectively work with in clothing, cosmetics, or haircolor. And, since it's technically incorrect, as I previously stated, I find that the clients who come to our salon with a "mixture" of colors nearly always have either a diluted appearance, in terms of focus, or they have a lot of mistakes hanging in their closets! Can my "contrast" change with age?
Q. What about as my hair turns gray? Does this change my season?
A. No, your season never changes with age, or anything else! As your hair begins to gray, Nature is not only changing your haircolor, but is also changing your skin tone and eyes at the same time. The balance among these three elements always remains the same. For example, if you're a mature Vivid Winter, like actress Bea Arthur, the balance among your haiskin/eyes is best described as high contrast. You have a vivid haircolor, a fair skin, and an intense eye color. True, your haircolor is not the same as when you were twenty years old, when it was probably a deep brunette, but you've maintained the high contrast coloring you were born with. As your hair began to gray, it didn't turn a dull or mousy shade of gray, but rather went a brilliant silver, didn't it? Your skin and eyes have actually gotten lighter at the same time, even though this difference is probably imperceptible to you. Do yone that your high contrast has not changed at all! You still have a vivid haircolor, a fair skin, and an in- ten eye color. Your balance has remained the same! You are still a Vivid Winter, and the colors that focus your specific coloring are still cool and clear!
Whatever your season, Nature created your haiskin/eyes as a unit. They always change together, and the balance among them never changes That's why your season never changes!
Q. Does my season have anything to do with style? For example, I read somewhere that Winters should stick to solids and geometrics, while Autumns are very good in tweeds and textures.
A. Not in the least! Having your colors done has absolutely nothing to do with anything other than determining what your skin tone is and which palette of colors to work with to enhance it. It tells you nothing more specific than the range of colors to use. Your specific clothing choices (including fabrics and textures, as well as shapes and lines), makeup shades, and haircolor range all come from developing your personal style through discovering your Image Identity.
For example, Autumns are frequently told to concentrate on use of textures in their wardrobe. Yet Ann-Margret is a Fiery Autumn, but as a Theatrical Romantic, I'd much rather see her in silks, satins, angora, and se quins than rough textures or tweeds any day of the year!
Having your colors done can be a wonderful and exciting addition to your life, and I highly recommend it when it's properly executed. Just be careful not to give it more importance than it's worth. Your coloring is only one part of you - it's worthy of being carefully looked at, but only within the contest of your total look.

Now I’m sure for those of us who are more visual the written descriptions of these colors can be ultra confusing! Unfortunately we can not share the seasonal palettes David has created. However, the palettes as well as a wealth of additional information on the sub seasons, additional celebrities as well as the three make up palettes for each season etc. can be accessed within the Four Season Freedom Facebook Group.
My personal tip is to get a good grasp on basic color theory by understanding what blue based vs yellow based colors look like. A really creative and explorative way to approach this is by getting some paints out and mixing the tones to see how blue (cool) with added yellow (warm) transforms into a warm blue. (Please ensure you use a true Yellow, a true Blue, a true Red, a true Black and a true White).
The goal of the system isn’t to just wear the colors David has in his seasonal palettes - it’s to use these as a jumping off point. So, that you can then take the concept of your coloring and have the ability to intuitively identify colors that harmonise with you rather than pull out a palette on your phone every time you go clothes or make up shopping!
Each season can be quickly understood by what it’s characteristics evoke:

Winter (Cool) is Jewel

Spring (Warm) is Vibrant

Summer (Cool) is Lush

Autumn (Warm) is Fiery

A quick disclaimer!! No season gets boring muted colors. Everyone gets beautifully saturated colors! You won’t see the sad, drab and dull tones often seen in other seasonal color systems here! For example Summer is Lush in tone not muted and Autumn is fiery in tone, again not muted In any sense if the word.

Let’s talk about the defining characteristics tied to certain seasons

I want to preface this part, by reminding us all that much like our Kibbe ID, we are born with the innate characteristics we have ; we are who we are meant to be! And so it’s never a case of being relegated to certain IDs or color seasons based on certain characteristics. But, instead we are embarking on the journey to discover what has always been there with the objective of achieving harmony with ourselves and in doing so bringing out our unique beauty.
Brown eyes Brown eyes are a feature of high contrast coloring and therefore will always be a high contrast season; Autumn or Winter.
Naturally Ginger / Red hair Ginger / Red hair is a warm color (a mix of a golden base with added red) and therefore will always be a warm season; Spring or Autumn.
An Olive undertone Olive is always caused by a blue undertone, therefore it will always be Winter.
Naturally Blonde hair Blonde hair can be any season except for Winter which requires a high level of contrast between the features; Skin/HaiEyes.
The Color Black Black is considered a cool tone that casts a shade on its surrounds, due to its depth of contrast is only given to Winters as with Winters it enhances the clarity of coloring whether-as with all other seasons it muddies their coloring.
The Color White White, on the other hand is universally given to all seasons as it is considered a neutral.

Getting an iPhone in India is basically a huge deal for an individual. It involves a lot of financial planning and timing to get the latest iPhone. I come from a middle-class Indian family and I am no different. When Apple released the iPhone 14 Pro series with the Dynamic Island, I was really into it. But, working as a tech writer and having the knowledge that Apple would add the same to the lower-end iPhone 15 models, I waited a year, and Apple did add the Dynamic Island to the lower-end iPhone models in 2023.
As I was already planning to get the iPhone 15, I had saved for it. Hence, without a second thought, I got the device in October 2023. It was a blue iPhone 15 and it was a big deal for me!
Fast forward to February 2024, I was going on a planned trip to Kasol with my friends. We had to catch a train from Sealdah, Kolkata, and to get there, we planned to take a local train to Sealdah station. So, we got to our nearest local station and were waiting for the train. During that whole waiting time, a person was standing right next to us and was fiddling with his phone but also giving questionable looks to us.
The train finally came and if you are an Indian, you would know the amount of struggle that one needs to go through to get on a packed local train. We all had rucksack backpacks and went through the struggling ordeal to simply get on the train. That was not all! During the whole ride, I could not move anywhere or any body part due to the sheer amount of people surrounding me.
When we reached Sealdah, our final station, I got down with my friends. Then, my mother called my girlfriend's phone to check on us and told her that she could not call me as my phone was switched off. I thought that my phone was not switched off and should be right in my pocket. I went on to check my pocket only to find out that it was gone! It most probably was the guy who was giving the looks to us when we were waiting for the train.
Naturally, I started panicking big time and went straight to the Railway Police station nearby to report it. By the time we filed a report, our main train left the station and as a result, our entire trip was canceled. Without a phone in my hand and after having a dreadful day, I went back home.
Find My [The Savior]
Now, as my girlfriend also had an iPhone 11 and was a part of the Apple Family plan, I used it to put the stolen iPhone 15 in Lost Mode via the Find My app. I checked the location of the phone in Find My and it showed a station that falls between our local station and Sealdah.
My aunt is in the police force, so I informed her about the stolen device. She told me that as it is an iPhone, it would be difficult to locate its position. However, she got the IMEI slots of the device blocked and said that if anyone puts a SIM card in it and tries to use it, the device will be marked. Only then the police could locate the user and grab him.
I knew that no one would be able to unlock it and put a SIM to use it. Apple has some great security features that prevent thieves from accessing personal information stored in an iPhone. Hence, I was sure that he would never be able to unlock or reset the device.
Someone once told me that stolen mobile devices are taken to Bangladesh and sold in black markets. If the mobile devices are locked, they even open up the parts and sell them individually.
Days went by and there were no updates about the phone, neither from the police nor from Find My. As I work with iPhones and as it was so dear to me, I broke an FD to get another iPhone 15 in the meantime. I also closed the EMI for the previous device with the same and accepted the situation.
Now, a few weeks ago, the stolen iPhone 15 started pinging locations in Find My on my iPhone. In the meantime, my girlfriend also got an iPhone 15 and started checking the Find My app obsessively on her device to track its locations daily. Some days it showed multiple locations, and some days it was stagnant.
The more regular locations from where the iPhone was pinging were near a place called Canning. The place is known as the "Gateway of Sunderbans" and is one of the biggest crime hubs. If you search for Canning on YouTube or Google, you will get a gist of it.
Citing the last known location of the iPhone showing Canning station, I and my partner went there one day despite the risks, dangers, and warnings. Although we did not get any further location updates that day, we scoured around the place but did not talk to anyone. While returning home disappointed, we stopped by the police station there to let them know about the situation.
The next day, the iPhone showed multiple locations near the city of Kolkata, though none of them were much closer to my home. However, the day after that, my girlfriend woke me up in the morning to show that the phone was pinging a location that was very close to my place. Not only that, the phone pinged the same location thrice since she started checking the Find My app. So, I immediately got up and went to the location.
It was in a place called Dover Lane (Kolkata), near a residential tower and a hotel. I went there, parked the car, and started hovering around the place, trying to locate the person who we suspect stole the phone. During that time, the phone pinged the location once or twice, and at one point, it even showed that the device was "With You" in Find My.
I stood at the location for four hours and tried to spot the suspect. During that whole time, I kept the Find My app open on my current phone to aid the stolen device ping the location. However, it showed location was updated 3 hours ago.
Hopelessly, I sat in my car, thinking of returning home without the device. Just then, I saw this guy with a red t-shirt passing by my car. He looked like a young migrant worker or a daily laborer. His t-shirt was a bit torn and his pants were pretty dirty. I don't know why I looked at him in the first place but that is when I saw him take a phone out of his pocket.
"Is that a pale-blue colored phone?" Yes. He turned on the screen. "Is that the iPhone's Dynamic Island?" Yes! "Why is he on a setup screen?" I have no idea!
Right at that moment, I check the Find My app. After 3 hours, the location was finally updated and the "With You" tag was back. I hurriedly got out of my car and followed the guy for a few meters. He stopped at a local shop to get a beedi. Just when he was about to light it, I went up to him and said "Show me your phone, brother!". He answered, that there was no balance to make a call. I said that I didn't want to make a call.
"Just give the phone. I want to see it once!", I said. He immediately got it out and handed the device. During my usage, I once dropped the iPhone 15 and that made a tiny dent on the chassis, just above the screen. I checked for it, and it sure was there!
I grabbed the phone tight and said "Let's go to the police, kid!" Bewildered, he said, "That is not my phone, I got it from a friend! My own phone was stolen a few days ago and my friend gave this to me for the time, until I get a new one. If you want to go to the police, I sure can but believe me I did not know that this phone was stolen."
Now, it is worth noting that this guy was not the guy who we suspected stole the device. He was 25-28 years of age. This guy was just 18! He was still a kid.
I asked him where does he live and what does he do for a living. He said that he lives near Canning and works as a housekeeper in the city. Then I asked him, you cannot use this iPhone whatsoever, it is in the setup-screen and is showing locked to owner, so what exactly are you doing with this device? He said that when my friend gave it to me, I liked this phone. So whenever I leave the house, I carry it around just for "fancy"!
We knew that if we took him to the police, they would lock him up and beat him. The kid was just 18. So, after taking his name, address, and father's name, we let him go!
I emailed the GRPS at Sealdah where I first filed the FIR that I got the phone back.
To be honest, I had zero hopes of getting back the stolen iPhone, and that too with Find My. But thanks to my girlfriend who never lost hope and also motivated me to try and retrieve the device.
After all this, I have a newfound respect for Apple's Find My network and am surprised that it works so very well. It is one of the most underrated features of an iPhone that more people need to appreciate.
So, that is my iPhone story. If you ever lose your iPhone or have it stolen, do not, I repeat, DO NOT underestimate the power of Find My, and above all, never lose hope!