I called my uncle Roy yesterday. I had not heard from the old mountain man is a couple weeks, which was odd because he has been reaching out to me regularly in recent weeks. I called to check on him to see if he was ok.
Uncle Roy lives way up in the mountains of North Carolina. I have to reach him by satellite phone because he has no land line and there are no cell towers for miles and miles around. He lives completely off the grid.
So I dialed up Roy. The phone rang and rang. I thought that maybe he was busy at his still or skinning a Bigfoot or something. Then there was a pickup. I said “Hello? Hello? Uncle Roy, are you there?”
Nobody answered. It was quiet at first; too quiet. Then I heard a growling sound. It was real quiet at first, then rose in volume and ferocity. It sounded dog like, but from a really BIG dog. Then I heard another beast growling in the background. I could tell by the timbre of the second growl that it came from another source.
Then there was a blood curdling howl. It sounded as if I had accidentally dialed a hotline straight to Hell. The ungodly and demonic sounds coming through my receiver made me freeze in terror. I said “Uncle Roy?!? Are you there?!? What’s going on?!?!?!”
Then something happened because all hell broke loose on the other end. There were growls - vicious growls - and sounds of a struggle. Then I heard what sounded like a man letting out a battle cry, “AAHHHHHHHH!!!!” There were some thuds, more vicious growls, and then “Die ya sumbitch!”, followed by the sound of a yelping hurt dog. Then “BOOM!!” and another yelp. What in the heck was going on?!? It sounded like some kind of horrific murder scene.
Then uncle Roy picked up. “Who in tarnation this here be?” Roy asked in an agitated voice. I said “Uncle Roy? It’s me, The General! What’s going on?!? Are you ok?!?” Roy said “General? Well, Goddamn, boy! You has got ya sum Goddamn good timing, let me Tells ya! You jest saved my life, son!” He continued, “Looky here, General, I gots me sum unfinished bidnez here. Let me clean up this slop and I’ll give ya a ring in a little while. Don’t worry nun abouts me. I is fine now! Heh heh heh!”
So late last night uncle Roy called me back. He explained that he had been in an ordeal when I called, but he managed to get himself out of it. I asked him to tell me what happened, which he did. What follows is my transcription of uncle Roy’s story, kept as authentic as possible.
“Well sir, I had got my ass up early yesterday cuz I had to go down into town to pick me up a special package at the UPS store. I went on down there, picked it up, loaded it into the back of my old pick-em-up truck and headed home. When I got to me parking spot off the side of the road, I had my old mule, “Jethro” tide to a tree and a’watin fer me. I strapped the crate onta Jethro’s back and led that sumbitch up the side of the mountain and on inta Sasquatch Hollar. After a couple hours we made it to my cabin.”
“I unloaded that thar mule, then put him in the shed. I dragged my package inside and fetched me crowbar to open her up. Well, I pried it open, pulled out all that thar protective wrap, and there she was: Ariana Grande!!”
I paused and then asked, “Ariana Grande? What? You mean that idiot singer?” Roy replied, “Yep, that’s who I mean.”
I start thinking, “Oh shit... Roy kidnapped that ditzy pop singer out of some sort of preternatural attraction. He is going to make her into some kind of farm-hand/sex-slave.” I said, “Roy, is she ... alive?” Roy responded, “Fuck no, boy, she ain’t alive. She’s fer fuckin”. That did not make me feel any better.
I love my Uncke Roy. But he is a very peculiar man who is not troubled by things like morality and laws. I know Roy has done some messed up stuff, but abduction and necrophilia had never crossed my mind.
I said “Roy, you got to get rid of her body. She’s a pop star. They are going to be looking for her. Uncle Roy, you can’t do this”. Roy responded, “What the fuck is you goin on about, boy?”. I told him “Roy, you have possession of a dead celebrity and you want to fuck it. Goddamn, that’s sick!”
Uncle Roy then broke out laughing. He said, “You fucking asshole! She ain’t no real girl. This here is one of them thar sex robots. It cost me a pretty penny too. I wanted one that looked like Gwen Stefani, but they wanted too much money fer that one. They gives me a big discount if’s I take one of them thar Arianna Grande models. I don’t even know who in the hell she is, but she looks like one of them thar hybrid girls, you know, half white and half somethin er other.”
Ah, a sex robot. Uncle Roy got a sex robot. I was relieved. After I realized my mistake I turned my attention back to the story and what the hell happened earlier. I asked Roy to continue.
“So, I got that Grande doll out of the box and sat it there on the couch. I sed to her ‘My, ain’t you a purty thang! Now git in that thar kitchen and fixes me up sum grub. GIT!’. But, that robot didn’t move one anch. I commanded her agin. Nuthin. I thought to myself ‘either this thang is broke er it’s so lifelike that it’s got a bitch’s attitude and needs to be treated jest right to werk.’ So I decided to give it another try.”
“I sits down next to Ariana, puts my arm around her, and puts my other hand high on the ham. I then leaned over and gave her a soft kiss on the cheek. I said, ‘Baby, go whips me up sum vittles and I’ll let ya suck my cock while I eats em.’ Still, nothin.”
“So I figured she wuz playing hard to git, and I wuz Not havin me any of that. So I grabbed that bitch by the hair and punched her in the throat, repeatly. Well, apparently, I hit her too goddamn hard cuz her hed came off in my hand. ‘SHIT!!’, I yelled. This cheap motherfucker dun fell apart before I even git ta fuck her.”
“So I studied the situation and cyphered that I best git what I can while I can. I pulled out my old wang and stuck it in her mouth while I held the severed hed to my crotch. Nuthin. Now, I bought this fucking thang because it’s a robot and supposed to move and act like a real woman. I wuz gettin a might pissed. I tried harder, face-fucking that thar thang. Nuthin.”
“I yelled ‘FUCK!!’, and slung that Ariana Grande head agin the wall. It hit with a loud ‘THUD’ and then fell on the floor. Then a thought hit me. Maybe this thang needs to be turned on. It is a robot after all. Shit, fer that matter it prolly needs to be charged up. Well, sir, I knew how to rectify this here situation.
“I dragged that headless Ariana Grande doll body out to my shed where I kept my tractor. So what I did wuz I got me a pair of jumper cables and attached them to the battry on my John Deere. I cranked that muthafuka ta life and then I attached the other end to Ariana by clamping them to her little wine-glass titties. As I did I sed, ‘Oh, excuse me, Ms. Grande’, as I chuckled to myself.”
“After a minute of chargin, that old headless Grande doll started smoking. I wuz all fandangled, and let out a ‘SHIT FIRE!!!’ Her little titties were a’ meltin!! I frantically unhooked the bitch and put out the far. Dejected and defeated, I dragged that robotic bitch back inta my cabin.”
“So there she wuz, laying on my living room floor, right on my Sasquatch skin rug, the severed Grande robot hed and its topless body with burned-up titties. I decided to study on this situation a bit while I eats me sum vittles.”
“I had me sound ground Bigfoot meat thawin out, and it wuz ready to fix up. I wuz planning on making me up sum Sasquatch burgers. Now, ya got to understand that Sasquatch meat ain’t like no cow or pig meat. This Bigfoot meat is sum nasty shit. First of all, it’s dark meat. And I mean it is black! It is also greasy as goose shit. It’s kind of like bar meat, but nastier.”
“You cain’t jest mold Bigfoot meat inta a burger, ya see. You gots to put sum stuff inta it to make it mold together. You can mix ya in some hamburger meat, or bread crumbs, or whatever. But tonight I had me sumthang REAL special to mix in. I had acquired me sum fresh hawg semen and cow blood! I got it down at the local slaughter house. They jest give that shit away!!!”
“What I like to do is put that old Sasquatch meat in a big old bowl, all ground up, then poor in the blood and semen. Then I roll up my sleeves and dive in with my hands, grinding and squeezing and mixin it all up. See, hog jizz is a lot thicker than human jizz. It’s also a lot tastier, lending a nice bouillabaisse note to the dish. The cow blood gives it a nice tangy body. I also like to ad some A-1 sauce to da mix.”
“Now, Son, ya got to bear sumthang in mind here. Yer old Uncle Roy is gettin on up thar in years. In fact, I don’t even know how old I is. But I do know that sumtimes I slip up whar I used to be sharp as a whip. This here wuz one of those days.”
“Ya see, I had kilt me a big old 10’ tall Sasquatch a couple week ago. That skanky sumbitch came a creepin’ up to my shed in the dead of night. They know that’s whar I stash sum of my hooch, and they like to sneak in there and get ‘em a sip. What that sumbitch did not know is that I been havin sum run-ins with them thar damn dogmans lately and I wuz out and about on my property.”
“Now, Son, I know ya know what a dogman is. They is basically a werewolf. The sumbitches is wolves but they can stand and walk on 2 legs like a man. They anywhere from 7’ to 15’ tall, and they is pure evil! They also is dangerous. They a lot more dangerous than a Bigfoot.”
“Them thar Bigfoots Are Big, dumb apes. BUT, they is smart enough to know when they been whipped. Ya see, me and then sumbitches pretty much got us an understanding that if they don’t fuck with me, then I won’t kill ‘em. Therefore, they give me my space. That sed, they will still fuck round witcha, like sneaking around trying to steal your shine stash, just like a bunch of naggers.”
“But these damn dogmen ain’t like that. Oh, sure, they is smart. But they ain’t got no self-awareness like a Bigfoot. They am full o hate! A Bigfoot will contemplate, it will study a situation. That old dog man, he is pure evil straight from hell. They ain’t worth a shit fer eatin either. They taste like sulfur! I don’t want anything to do with them nasty beasts. When I Kills em I jest drag em off my mountain and set the nasty turds on fire.”
“So, a pack of them thar dogmans came through Sasquatch Hollar. I knowed they been fucking around on my homestead cuz I seen the paw prints. We ain’t got us none of them thar wolves here in North Carolina. So, when you see them really big canine tracks suddenly show up on your property, you can know they is dogman.”
So, there I wuz, on my rooftop, with a jug of shine and a 6.5 Creedmore rifle with nightvision optics. I wuz a’plannin to kill me sum dogman scum when up came this dumbass old Sasquatch, slinking up to my old shed to get him a nip of Old Roy’s mountain shine.”
“I watched that Bigfoot fer a long time, peeking out from behind trees, tiptoeing closer a little at a time, craning his neck to make sure nobody wuz around, then tiptoeing sum more. It wuz Goddamn pathetic! Them Bigfoots are nuthin but giant pussies. It took that dumb bitch 10 minutes to get from the hard woodline to the door of my shed.”
“That old Sasquatch did not know I wuz anywhar around. I had been following it’s movement through the nightvision scope on my rifle. By the time it got to my cabin I had flipped the safety off. Then it got to my shed. It stepped up to the shed door, slowly put its paw on the door latch, then looked to its left. Then it looked to the right, slowly turning its entire upper body in that direction. Then it turned back to the shed door, presumably about to enter.”
“BOOM!!!!!” The report of the 6.5 blast wuz a’ deafening! That critter’s head exploded like a cantaloupe, splattering blood and brain everywhar! It wuz a glorious sight to behold!”
“I decided I would let that dead critter lay where it died fer a spell as bait fer them sumbitchin Dogmans. Unfortunately, it didn’t werk that night, or else they jest don’t like Bigfoot meat. They is, after all, natural enemies of each other, the dogman and the Sasquatch.”
“So, at dawn, I dragged that headless Bigfoot into my cabin and laid it out on my kitchen counter. Any veteran Sasquatcher knows that you got to tenderize that critter a’fer ya can eat it. Only a newb skins a Sasquatch and throws it right on the grill. So I commenced to beaten the corpse with a mallet. Then, I wuz gonna jest let it lay there an rot fer a few days, like how ya age beef. It won’t hurt ya one bit to rot yer meat a bit a’fer eatin it.”
“Now here’s a’where I fucked up. I needed to gut that sumbitchin critter. But, I had received a cyber notice that a new amateur video of an Asian chick being fucked on a public bus Had jest been uploaded on Pornhub. I decided to take me a look at it, then gut the squatch later. Well, later never come. I fell asleep and then totally fergot about the task. That dead critter laid out on my kitchen counter fer a good 2 weeks, it did. I guess I jest kind of assumed the cleaning job wuz all dun.”
“So, fast-forward ahead and there I wuz, gettin ready to fix me sum Sasquatch burgers. I had my ground up Bigfoot meat all mixed up in a bowl with hog jism and cow blood, and completely in the dark on the current internal chemical happenins with that Bigfoot corpse laid out on my kitchen counter. I noticed it wuz gettin a’kind of bloated. But I did not know that it was because of all those internal gases buildin’ up in the dead critter’s body cavity. I sure as shit did not know it wuz about to explode!”
“Then it happened. KA-BOOOOOOM!!! That Sasquatch corpse a’layin’ on my counter plum exploded!! Rotten Bigfoot guts and blood went everywhere! It covered my kitchen and my livinroom. Everthang!”
“Well sir, I wuz pissed! I started throwin shit, and tearin up shit. I even drew my .44 magum and started blasting shit. Then I saw that goddamn headless Ariana Grande robot layin on the floor. ‘Fuck it’, I thought. ‘Jest FUCK IT!’ So I took down my draws and raped that thang!!”
“Well, I did not know - because of all the goins on in my cabin - that a couple of them thar nasty Dogmans had snuck up and was a’watchin me through the winder. What a sight they must have seen! There I wuz, in the middle of a blood and gut soaked scene, bare-assed and fucking that headless doll.”
“That scene must’ve driven them Dogmans inta a hot-n-heavy, horny, murder frenzy, cuz they smashed down my door, grabbed me and the headless Grande robot, and dragged us off into the woods. Man, I was a’scairt! These Dogmans were big. They both stood a good 12’ tall, or MORE!”
“Those rotten critters dragged me off into their lair, a cave just the other side of Poltergeist Ridge. They throwed me down against the far cave wall. Then they turned their attention to the doll. They both had ‘em a couple big old red shankers stickin out of their loins. They would sniff the doll, then try to mount it. The holes weren’t big enough to accommodate their big dog wangs, so they would get all frustrated and growl at the robot, then they would try agin.”
“Now, this is where the shit got weird. I could not escape because them infernal dogman beasts were a’blocking the entrance to the cave. And I was admittedly amused by the sight of these goddamn thangs trying to get it on with a doll. I could not contain myself and let out a’laughin at them. I sed, ‘You stupid sumbitches!! Ha ha ha ha ha!!!!’ That’s when they dropped the robot and both turned in my direction, throbbing erections pointed right at me. ‘Uh Oh!’, I thought.”
“Those two Dogmans began moving toward me. I knew they intended to make luv on me, doggy style. That’s when my satellite phone started ringing. I pulled that sumbitch out of the case on my gun belt, but before I could answer it, the dogman on the left swatted it outa my hand. Then they turned their attention on the ringing phone.”
“Them damn thangs were all agitated by the ranging and were a’swipin at it. They musta hit ‘answer’, and that’s when you heard all the growlin’. When they heard your voice on it they went crazy! They musta thunk you wuz inside the phone and it perplexed them.”
“With them dogmen distracted by the phone, I decided it wuz time to make my move. I bolted forward and grabbed what wuz left of that Ariana Grande sex doll -pretty much just the torso - and used it as a club, beating the shit out of them thar dogman critters. I wuz a’fightin fer my life!”
“I wuz a’swangin old Ariana around and a’whackin them critters off! I remembered the Kabar knife on my belt and whipped out that sumbitch. Then I used Ariana as a shield. I closed in on the first critter, which wuz already wounded, and stabbed it right in its heart. It let out an unholy ‘yelp’ as I hit the organ.”
“Then the other dogman lunged at me. In one motion I swiftly withdrew the long knife from the heart of the first critter and slashed at the second one, slicing its hard-on clean off. Then that one let out a yelp and a cry of pain as it reached down and grabbed its crotch. I sed, ‘Take that, bitch!’, and thrust my blade into its heart. ‘Boom!’, it hit the ground!”
“Both them motherfuckers were ded! Then I answered the phone, and it twere you, General. You saved my life!”
Roy went on to tell me that he burned the bodies of the Dogman creatures, and the Ariana Grande fuckbot. He then went into town to see his insurance man to file a claim on his homeowners policy for the mess at his cabin. He checked into a local hotel called “The Sasquatch Inn” while ServPro is out at his home cleaning up the mess. After he got settled in for the night he called me and told me this encounter story.

The zombie apocalypse started out slowly. First, there were the news stories of the occasional homeless person having their face eaten off by a madman. Drugs, they said. Then there were small hoards that would crash through department stores in the middle of the night, caught on security cameras smashing up the place, then gone by morning. Rising crime, they said.
Finally, it could no longer be ignored. When the widespread cannibalism began it was too late to stop the spread. Their numbers increased exponentially. Pretty soon everybody was gone. Well, everyone except for little pockets of survivors here and there, of which I was one.
Life was hard for us. It was hard to tell who was cursed: them or us. Perhaps we both were. Every hour we survived was both a blessing and curse. Some could not take it and opted out. The rest of us fought for our survival with every breath and ounce of strength we had so we could live.
We survived in the dark, like moles. We ate rats, bugs, snakes, whatever we could find. It did not matter. We scavenged for what we needed. Guns and ammunition were top priority, over food. Water was important too, very important. Most of our water came from rain. Then we distilled it to filter out impurities.
When faced with the constant struggle for survival against an enemy that both outnumbers you and cannot die, the struggle against nature, and for basic needs, you change. Your morality changes. Life has immense value to you. That is, YOUR life has value to you. Other people’s lives, maybe not so much. We all changed over those weeks and months following the outbreak. But none of us changed for the better.
Before it began I worked as a talent scout for a film production company in Los Angeles. You may have heard of our little company, Bango Wango. We put out quite a few hit films. Our biggest film was “Big Black Cocks Destroy Little Asian Hotties”. It was very, VERY HOT!! . It received 4.5 out of 5 Stiffies in the Adult Video Review. We also were responsible for “Women Fucking Strangers in Cars, Part 12” and “Hot Girl Bangs 200 Guys at Once”. We liked to stick with a tried and true formula.
Just before the outbreak exploded into all-out murderous zombie hoards and mass cannibalistic attacks, my boss, Doc “Ramrod” Rambo, sent me up to San Francisco to do a casting call for a promising upcoming film to be called “Men Fucking Hot Women”. My job was to evaluate all the girls. I interview each of them. Then I look at them naked. Then I fuck them. If I think they would be good in the film, I stuff some blow up their noses and taken them back to LA with me. You know, it’s the industry standard business model.
As it turned out, San Francisco is the worst place in the world to be in the zombie apocalypse. You would probably think that in my line of work we would be open to deviant sexual identities and practices. In fact, nothing could be further from the truth. See, these leftist Dem pigs are trying to gay and tranny everyone. This reduces our target market! We shoot straight hetero shit, only. Partly, this is because it is what we all prefer. Partly, and very importantly, it is where most of the money is. And, our primary financier is a raging white supremacist who disapproves of weird leftist sex shit. I can’t say that I blame him either.
It is well known that San Fran has the highest ratio of freaks in the world. Let me tell you, having a decrepit, rotting zombie trying to murder and eat you is rather disconcerting. Having a tranny zombie coming after you is downright terrifying! Imagine, a 6.5 foot tall highly feminine zombie coming at you, with a wang flopping around. Many folks get caught staring at shit like that (e.g., flopping wangs on fem looking zombie ghouls), and fail to notice the zombies creeping up on them from behind. The poor bastard becomes dinner, and all because of the freak show science and deranged politics that went on prior to the outbreak.
But something worse happened. It stands to reason that zombies, as a primal version of a human being, want to eat. It is its primary need. But those trannies, they weren’t human in any traditional sense. They wore their sexuality on their sleeves for everyone to see. Their sexuality was their identity. This being the case, they are far different from all other human beings in life. Therefore, it stands to reason that they would be far different in death.
Zombie trannies don’t want to eat you. They want to fuck you. Since death causes brain capacity to diminish substantially, they revert to a primitive animal. This means that morality no longer plays a role in their heads. All they want to do is fuck, fuck, fuck. Obviously, nobody consensually fucks a rotting corpse. Thus, they are rapists too. It’s reverse-necro rape phenomena. I seen it. It’s real.
Maybe if we kept them in the closet back before the outbreak these tranny ghouls would only want to eat us alive. But toward the end days the leftist pigs encouraged their antisocial and barbaric urges. They normalized it. They encouraged the freaks to extract their inner abominable urges and place them at the forefront of their existence with absolutely no regard for the impact on other people and society.
See, it was the leftist movements that doomed humanity. Why? For power? For wealth? Hubris? Who knows. All I know is that I am one of the few survivors. Me, along with other survivors, are on constant guard against zombie attack. They roam around in hoards, either looking to eat us or rape us. In fact, sometimes it is both. I have seen some poor bastards being both eaten and raped at the same time. That, my friends, is some ghoulish shit.
It was only a matter of time before the survivor numbers dwindled. I eventually hooked up with a fella from back East that went by the name “Tex”. He was a tough son of a gun. Together we stood a much better chance at survival. One night while camped out under an overpass Tex, with a long drawn out southern drawl, said, “Well now, fuck boy, I think we’uns need ta think bout headed back east, away from the hoards and the feggets.”
Tex reasoned that we could live in rural areas and pretty much be steer clear of zombies altogether. I asked Tex, “What about the tranny zombies?!?” Agitated, old Tex said, “We ain’t got none of that thar sheeyit in Texas, fuck no!” I was all in for Tex’s plan.
We jacked a Dodge Charger in Compton. I hotwired it. Tex said, “Well shit fire, fuck boy! I thought ya’ll had to be one of them thar negroes to knowd how to do that sheeyit! Heh heh heh!” We managed to collect enough gasoline that was still good to get us to Texas. We put it in all sorts of containers and pulled it behind us in a trailer. Tex rigged up a trailer hitch on the ghetto ride for the trip.
I was a long and arduous journey. You may think it would be easy since there wasn’t anyone left to cause a traffic jam, but you would be wrong. There were abandoned cars everywhere, with zombies peppered about here and there. We were viciously attacked in Las Vegas by a hoard of zombies dressed like Debbie Reynolds. Fortunately, we managed to escape with our honor intact.
One night we camped out under the stars. We caught a couple of large lizards and cooked them over an open fire. After dinner we relaxed and watched the stars as we smoked cigars from a box of Padron we found at our last stop. Something had piqued my curiosity about Tex. Finally, I had to ask him.
“Hey, Tex?”, I said. “Yep”, he replied. I asked, “What were you doing in San Francisco? I mean, you have made it pretty clear that San Fran ain’t got much to draw you to it.” Tex said, “You don’t need to knowd all bout that, fuck boy.” I kept on prying. Old Tex eventually relented.
“I was in San Francisco to meet a man I had met online. Ya’ll can think of it as a date, if ya’ll want”, said Tex. I was floored!!! Tex just came out to me. A gay Texan? I just could mot wrap my head around it. I had to know, so I asked, “But Tex, does that mean that … YOU are a homo?!?”
Tex pulled out his revolver and violently struck me with the butt of the gun right on my nose. Blood spewed out as the pain was excruciatingly throbbing in my sinus cavities. Then I heard Tex say, “I AIN’T NO GODDAM FEGGET, YOU ASSHOLE!! What in tarnation is wrong with you?!?”
I managed to get the bleeding to subside after a while. Clearly, Tex had broken my nose. I could not breathe through it anymore and the painful throbbing was still going strong. “Jesus fucking Christ, Tex! It was just a fucking question”, I said.
After a couple moments Tex said “Ah, hell fire, fuck boy. Ima sorry fer braking yer nose. But ya’ll jest cain’t ask a man shit like that, ya know?” I nodded. Of course, he was right. But I grew up in Candy Ass Land here in California, so it’s rather easy to forget what a man is, and is supposed to be. Tex was a real man, that is for certain. With a little prodding I got Tex to tell me why he was in San Fran when the shit hit the fan.
It turns out that he had, in fact, been talking to homos online, and that he traveled to California to meet them. But it was not to fuck them, literally. It was to fuck them up physically. This is something Tex says he likes to do when he gets a day off from the cattle ranch he manages back east. “See, we ain’t got us no queers out thar in Texas. So we got to go out to San Francisco fer queer beatins and sech.”
I nodded in understanding. While I do not personally engage in queer beatings and such, I respect people’s right to do so. In fact, after living amongst all the Candy-assed bed-wetting leftists in Cali for so long, I found Tex and his approach to life to be quite liberating and refreshing. Maybe I was going to like it in Texas!
Tex then said, “Well, it’s yer turn, lil buckaroo!” I asked Tex what he was talking about. “What were yer lilly white ass doing in feg town?” I told him, “I was fucking bitches auditioning for a new fuck flick I was making.” Tex shook his head and laughed.
I wandered what Tex thought of me. Here he is, the epitome of a man from the old west, typified by living a moral and honorable life. I suddenly was overcome by a deep wave of shame in the face of the good and wholesomeness exuded by Tex. I bowed my head in disgrace. Imagine how I felt. I had fucked away my whole life on pussy and coke. Now, here I am, 50 years old and absolutely no goals set for the balance of my life, except for more pussy and coke. Sigh …
My sudden and overwhelming deep depressive state must have registered with Tex. He looked over at me staring at my feet and said, “It’s ok, you know?” I asked what he meant by that. He continued.
“It’s ok that you is a pussy chasing degenerate. Hell, the world needs porn. If I had not seen porn at a young age then I would not have learned how to fuck right fer years to come. I would have suffered years of humiliation learning how to properly bone a chick. But thanks to porn, I was able to master my stroke by 16. Without my confidence I most likely would not have poked Nelly Ann like the hard stud I am today. I totally crushed her pussy! Then she became my wife. All this, thanks to pornography.”
I thought about this. Tex was right, wonderfully right! I never really considered that I was doing the world a service by making porn movies. A wide grin took over my face. I felt…pride! It was unfamiliar to me. In fact, I did not really know what it was. But it felt good. I glanced over at Tex, who was grinning too. Then he said, “That’s right, fuck boy. YOU have value as a man. That makes you ever bit as real man as I am.”
I felt like I had won the fucking lottery. Never before in my entire life have I ever had one bit of self-esteem. Now my cup runneth over thanks to Tex! I had been doing God’s work all along and I just didn’t know it. I wanted to celebrate. I asked Tex, “You want to snort some blow?” He replied, “No sir, but you go right ahead and enjoy yerself”.
——————/
Three days later Tex and I arrived at his cattle ranch in west Texas. It was called “Steered Straight”. Unfortunately, all of the livestock lay dead and rotting in the fields. There were no humans anywhere. The ranch was totally abandoned. I said, “Jesus, Tex. What a fucking shit hole.” Tex said it had definitely seen better days.
I asked Tex, “So, you own this place?”. Tex replied that, no, he did not own it. He was merely the manager. I asked him who owns it. He said, “The fucking Chinese, that’s who.” I said, “Shit! How did THAT happen?”. Tex explained.
“See, fuck boy, this here old ranch been in my family fer generations. But when dad died he willed all the land to my asshole brother, Peter. Old Pete was one of them thar fancy pants college boys. He promptly sold the ranch to a big old corporation back East called ‘Fuck Everybody, Inc.”. They then sold it off to the goddamned Chinese communists.”
Tex bowed his head in recollection of the sad state of his family ranch. I asked Tex why his dad gave it to his asshole brother and not him. Tex replied, with his patented slow Texas cowboy drawl, “Well sir, dad had every intention of leaving the ranch to me. See, back when mother passed away in 1978, dad sort of changed. He got wild with the whores and the blow. He eventually remarried a sweet young stripper from Lubbock named Ana Conda.”
“Well, dad found out that I had been fucking Ana on the down low. So he got pissed and changed his will. I apologized to him repeatedly but nothing would change his mind, the stubborn old son of a gun”, said Tex.
I then interjected, “So you lost the entire ranch because you were banging a whore?” Tex said yes, and then we fist bumped. I said, “Yep, pussy will get your ass in trouble.” Tex agreed.
We went to the ranch house and cleaned shit up so we could live there. Fortunately, the well still functioned, so we had water. All the food was spoiled, as there was no electricity. I asked, “What are we going to do for food, Tex?” He said, “Well, fuck boy, we is gonna hunt us up sum grub. You ever handle a gun before?”

I think I heard on one of the streams that he might make a video on the intercept article vs NY times about Oct 7 and the rapes. Is this true? that would be cool.

General Content Warning for this entire write-up, so everyone can have a good time: - Extensive discussion of topics related to mental illness, including self-harm, suicidal ideation, mania / bipolar disorder, distortion of truth, medication, involuntary hospitalization, medical abuse in a hospital setting, and romanticization of mental illness. - Non-detailed mentions of domestic violence (implied abuse by intimate partner and parents) and sexual / gender-based violence (including rape, child sexual assault, grooming, sex trafficking and torture). These last few items feature prominently in one installment, pertaining to a work of fiction; descriptions may be a bit more specific/detailed in that segment, but not graphic. - Mentions and quotes of unchill bigoted behavior, including ableism (mental and physical), white nonsense / white fragility / racism, fatphobia, prejudice against drug users.
Additional CWs may be added at the beginning of specific segments when relevant. While these are heavy topics, the tone of this write-up is generally light-hearted and aims to entertain. If this approach sounds uncomfortable or trivializing, this may not be a good read for you; please trust your gut!
*
Picture this: it's the early 2010s, somewhere in the western world. Instagram is a novelty, Harvey Weinstein runs Hollywood, almost no one on Earth leans one way or the other about RNA vaccines, and Donald Trump is that one real estate guy you vaguely remember from Home Alone 2. New player Lady Gaga is the most interesting thing to have happened to pop since Madonna, and the whole industry is attempting to catch up; Miley Cyrus is the chick who used to be on Hannah Montana; Melanie Martinez hasn't hatched yet. The time of Oddball Concept Divas is dawning just below the horizon.
You're a Bowie-loving student who skipped goth night at the club to tag along with your art school friends for a very special evening. You're a giddy sixteen-year old rocking cat ears, purple Wet 'n Wild eyeliner, a polyester petticoat, and a coffin-shaped backpack. You're an effete theater kid who sewed his own waistcoat for the occasion, but won't dare wear it to school the next day. You're a buff, bearded dude in a Venom shirt who's trying not to look too excited, since your girlfriend supposedly had to drag you here. You're a slightly bemused parent leaning against the back wall of the venue, sipping a warm half-pint, wondering if this isn't all a bit dark for a tween. (“It's called 'Victoriandustrial', mom,” you've been told in the car, “and it's not dark, it's art.”)
On stage is a pink-haired woman, with red porcelain-doll lips and a heart painted on her cheek. Among a set of antique consoles, twee tchotchkes, teacups and plastic rats, she pounces and twirls in glittery platform boots, tattered striped stockings, and a tightly laced crystal-studded corset that looks like it's splattered in blood. This is ostensibly a concert, but there is no live band. Where one would expect a drum kit or a bass, three bedazzled burlesque vixens act as back-up singers and dancers, with the occasional vaudeville act – a fire-twirling number, a fan dance, throwing pastries and spitting tea into the audience. Lots of wholesome girl-on-girl kissing, too. The music on the backing track is a genre-bender of clanging beats and beeps, lofty orchestral strings, and the frantic hammering of a MIDI harpsichord, as the pink-haired frontlady sings of heartache and betrayal and drowning. Think if the Brontë sisters had invented industrial rock.
The audience gasps in excitement when the lady whips out a vamped-out wireless electric violin. With rockstar cool and virtuoso poise, she leans into the instrument, touches the bow to the strings, and tears out a single plaintive, impeccably distorted high note. Then her fingers go wild, and for a few seconds, everything is perfect suspended animation. Uncannily perfect, almost. Just behind you, you hear someone whisper: “Wait, is she miming it?”
*
Forgive the theatrical intro, but I had to set the stage for... the drama. And I do mean drama in the thespian sense of the term! This, ladies and gentlemen, is a Shakespeare play: wordy and confusing, but it's neat how the main character's opening lines foreshadow the tragic climax. It's a Greek tragedy for the digital age – if, instead of killing his dad and banging his mom, after becoming king, Oedipus was doomed to becoming uniquely obnoxious. It's The Rocky Horror Show under the grim direction of Samuel Beckett. Like all good theatre, this story is about how fiction bleeds into reality – through the stories we tell ourselves about ourselves, and how all the world's a stage and all that.

WHO IS EMILIE AUTUMN, AND WHAT'S THE DRAMA?

Here's the Broadway Weekly blurb, so you can decide whether the show is worth your time: Emilie Autumn, also known as EA, is a US-American alternative singer-songwriter, author, and actor. She became known in alt circles in the mid-2010s for her violin skills, unique fashion, outspoken stances on feminism and mental health advocacy, and the way she dramatized and sublimated her own life story in her art. In 2009, she self-published a semi-autobiographical book that became a sort of bible to her creative universe and fandom. She toured extensively and enjoyed niche, but considerable success until the mid-2010s – with hordes of devoted fans adopting her fashion sense and lingo, and crediting her music for getting them through dark times.
For the past twelve years or so, EA has mostly been focused on adapting her book into a stage musical, releasing two more albums of songs intended for the libretto. At the time of this write-up, it has been six years since the last album and a decade since the last live show. Although she still talks about the musical as an ongoing, Broadway-bound project, in recent years, she's often gone dark for months at a time on social media. There is no forum, no large Discord, no active community to speak of; comments are restricted on her currently-inactive Instagram and blog.
Who is she hiding from, you ask? Why, you've probably guessed it: the hordes of devoted fans whom she infuriates every time she does anything.
And what are they furious about? (Or frustrated, flummoxed, or plain ol' flabbergasted?) Well, it depends who you ask. For some, it's disappointment in her artistic and marketing choices (what are fans for?). Others cite unkept promises or absurd release delays. For others yet, it's the AliBaba merch sold at jaw-dropping markups with three paragraphs of purple prose in the product description.. Or maybe it was the angry rants on Twitter? Okay, it's the casual bigotry that she staunchly denies or dismisses. It's the criticism she can't take. It's the fact that she won't stop lying about her own life! Either way, I don't personally know of any fanbase that has been so consistently exasperated, for so many years, and for such a diverse array of reasons, by their favorite artist.
In truth, each individual mini-scandal isn't all that juicy or scandalous. Nobody died, no one got sued; nothing of significant value, other than time and sanity, was taken away from anyone. What I find interesting here is the years and years of bizarre parasocial codependency (and antagonism) between a fragile woman who became addicted to her own poppycock, and an obsessive fanbase who cared way too much not to take it personally.
Before we even get to EA's relationship with her fans, you're going to need some lore about EA herself. A “Hobby History” of sorts. Strap in! There's romance, tragedy, laughter, character development, variety numbers, numerous costume changes, (actual) celebrity cameos – and based on how long this OpenOffice doc already is at the time of my writing this, we're probably going to need several intermissions too. This write-up is link-heavy, both with receipts and with additional watching and listening material. Not all of them need to be clicked in order to understand the story; I'm merely providing the rabbit holes. I've tried to make things more easily navigable by including a little glossary about the nature of links; one emoji-indicator carries over the next link until I use a different one.
🪞 = picture / visual 🎵 = music 📺 = video 📝 = primary source / receipt 🔍 = press article / write-up / further reading 🎤 = song lyrics / spoken word audio 🐀 = anonymous fan confession 🦠 = reaction / meme

BAROQUE BEGINNINGS: THE VIOLIN YEARS

VampireFreaks: Do you ever smile to yourself knowing your old music teachers might be seeing your success? EA: I smile to myself knowing they might be dead. (Long-lost interview, late 2000s)

Born in Malibu in the late 70s, Emilie Autumn, often known as EA, was originally trained as a classical violinist.
By her account, she started playing the violin at age 4, and was homeschooled at age 9 so that she could focus on her instrument. After stints at various performing arts colleges, some rather prestigious, she dropped out of formal schooling in her mid-to-late teens to embark on a solo violin career.
In 2001, after disappointing experiences with major record companies, she created her own label, Traitor Records, and released a EP of chamber music, with minor success. The stuffy industry of classical music didn't “get” the twenty-something manic-pixie-fiddler, who played Bach just a bit too fast, but with electric stage presence – wearing period corsets, combat boots, and the occasional fairy wings. But EA evidently knew that there was an audience for that somewhere.
And that somewhere – drumroll – was Illinois.

VW: What do you most hope to accomplish? EA: Everything. (‘Virtual World Radio’ Interview, 2002 📝)

ENCHANT ERA: BRUSHES WITH FAME ON FAERIE WINGS

What if I'm an ocean, far too shallow, much too deep? (...) What if I'm a siren singing gentlemen to sleep? (“What If”, 2003 🎵)

Soon, EA relocated from her native California to Chicago. There, in between odd jobs, she veered away from baroque and began performing her own “fantasy rock” stylings at piano bars, holiday fairs and local venues – and building a decent following through her LiveJournal, website, and IRL friends. People loved the whole renegade genius thing, loved the violin, loved the nightingale voice, loved the fairy wings and costumes🪞, loved the handmade merch and general disdain for The Business, loved her deadpan humor and bookish nerdiness. In 2003, she released her first LP, Enchant 🎵 – an ethereal, introspective indie-pop joint, born under the sign of Imogen Heap, with a moon in Fiona Apple and Tori Amos rising.
Everything about EA's act was exquisitely DIY, personal, and intricate. For instance, the Enchant booklet folded out into a Masquerade-style puzzle of her own design.🪞 The first person to solve the puzzle would win “the Wings, Ruff, Fan and Scepter of the Faerie Queene herself” – all lovingly handmade by EA, and depicted in peak 2003 graphic design on the booklet. For months, YEARS after Enchant came out, people poured over the cryptic metaphors and literary references, the historical symbolism and visual puns of the artwork, looking for hints and patterns. They read every fan chat, every interview, every relevant Shakespeare play, hoping to decipher the inner workings of EA's mind and find new keys to the puzzle. Sure, it's been two decades now and no one's ever managed to crack the damn thing 🔍, which is by now widely assumed to be flawed and unsolvable; still, it's the kind of zany, brainy, immersive experience that tends to cultivate a niche but hyper-invested fanbase.
So it makes perfect sense that underground aficionada and internet frontierswoman Courtney Love (she haunted public AOL chatrooms as early as 1995! 🔍) would take an interest. Just a few months after releasing Enchant, EA was off to southern France to record violin and vocals for Courtney's new solo album; a few months after that, in early 2004, she joined Courtney's band on a brief tour to promote the record.
Alas, no cigar: America's Sweetheart flopped. Maybe because most of those summer recording sessions were ultimately lost to an engineering oopsie; maybe because Courtney was having an especially rough year – and going through all the “rock-bottom moments” that she would discuss in group therapy, later that fall, when she began her sobriety journey at court-ordered rehab. EA, a former homeschool kid who had never done drugs, seems to remember the tour as a generally terrifying experience; she later stated, with some bitterness, that the experience was not worth the time it had taken away from her own solo career.
But it was a good year for TV appearances! Here she is on the David Letterman Show in March 2004, rocking out on a perfectly inaudible violin as C-Love fades in and out of her own body. 📺 She also landed a cute tutorial segment on HGTV's Crafters: Coast to Coast, making sushi-shaped soap and fairy wings. In December, she accompanied Billy Corgan for a Christmas song on a Chicago station.
All of this was chronicled in quirky, wordy posts on her blog – interspersed with late-night musings about casual misogyny in the media 📝, including against Courtney, handmade crafts and clothing auctions, candid pictures of outings with friends in Chicago... as well as periodic updates on the progress of her next opus: Opheliac.

God, too much to even begin to tell right now, and I’m recording anyway, but I can give you this update: I just finished yesterday recording violin parts and backing vocals for B. Corgan’s first single (...) More later, recording piano for my new track “GOD HELP ME”…why do I torture myself with my own self-inflicted drama…or is it a way of exorcizing…yes, I’ll go with that one for now…☠ (“Whirlwind...”, December 2004)

By that point, EA was starting to be more open about her conflicted relationship with what would later be diagnosed as bipolar disorder. The galaxy-brain moments, the trance of creative frenzies, the liminal high of going three days without sleep, the magic... the crippling sensitivity, the restless anxiety, the Zoloft that one both needs and hates, the ever-lurking suicidal thoughts. As EA gradually revealed over the course of 2004, Opheliac would be an exploration of the “mad woman” archetype. The title was a medical neologism for “the syndrome of Ophelia”, as in the tragic character from Hamlet 🔍, driven to insanity and ultimate self-destruction by the fuckboys who rule her life. Here's EA explaining it in her own words. 🎤 The album would dive into how psychiatry and romantic relationships are governed by old misogynistic tropes, and how the “mentally ill” label is used to silence and downplay the justified anger and hurt of abused women.
In a striking case of life imitating art (are you picking up on the theme yet?), this concept was about to become more painfully relevant than ever to EA's personal existence.
CW: implied partner abuse, suicidal ideation.

DISENCHANTMENT: A SERIES OF UNFORTUNATE EVENTS

In the lake, you will find me Behind your house, behind your house (...) My ocean is bluer than the heart you had to break My sea is deeper than your lake (“In the Lake”, 2005 🎵)

Where were we? Ah yes, the Christmas song with Billy Corgan at the end of 2004. Around that time, EA was also recording violin parts and backing vocals for his upcoming solo album. 🎵 They had presumably connected through Courtney, they both lived in Chicago, I guess something clicked.
In January of 2005, EA abruptly went off of her meds, broke up with her live-in boyfriend-slash-bassist, packed up her violin and corsets, and moved into Corgan's mansion. In March of 2005, she posted very melancholy lyrics about drowning in a lake to haunt a deceitful lover. The post was entitled“In The Lake (The Zoloft is calling my name...)” 🎤📝. Later, after the song was released as a B-side, EA disclosed that it had been intended as a public suicide note 📝.
Blog entries from that time touched on a “whirlwind of action and emotion”, “changing residences” and feeling like “you're falling through the air, but you don't know if you'll hit the water or the rocks” 📝. But, EA being an expert vague-poster, her posts remained very elusive about what was going on, who was involved, and how it impacted her. (The specifics were pieced together years later, by fan-led forensic efforts – which, obviously, involved ascertaining the existence of an actual body of water in Billy Corgan's backyard 📝).
Whatever happened over the course of those months was never disclosed explicitly by EA, but is widely assumed to have inspired songs such as “Liar” 🎤, “Misery Loves Company”, “Let the Record Show”, and “I Know Where You Sleep”, , recorded that same spring. A solid quarter of the Opheliac tracklist – which was shaping out to be decidedly darker and grittier than Enchant.

You can lie to the papers, you can hide from the press (...) I know your tainted flesh, I know your filthy soul I know each trick you played, whore you laid, dream you stole I know the bed in the room in the wall in the house Where you got what you wanted and ruined it all I know the secrets that you keep I know where you sleep

Even as her personal blog posts grew more somber, nihilistic, and generally fed-up in the face of what she called “the worst breakdown of her young life”, even as the songwriting process had her rummage through traumatic memories [CW: CSA] 🎤, and even as the Corgan-adjacent trauma was compounded by various rushed moves and broken friendships over that summer and fall, EA remained remarkably (some might say frantically) prolific.
Other than progress on Opheliac, 2005 saw multiple violin collaborations with alternative bands, numerous auctions of, mh, visually strident “punktorian” fashion pieces 📝🪞 (“STRESS COUTURE!” 🦠📺), and an updated re-issue of her 2001 poetry collection, complete with audiobook. ("...The book has been selling like crack in a limo with Courtney Love (and believe me, I know)." - Ooooof, EA. Low-hanging fruit. 📝)
In October, she started recruiting:

WANTED: Hot goth bitch to join touring band of other hot goth bitches. (...) Must be able to: sing backing vocals in a wide range with excellent pitch, growl à la Kittie, handle minimal keyboard parts, push buttons/turn knobs with killer attitude, be extremely comfortable on stage in bloomers and a corset, reside in the Chicago area, know the difference between a crumpet and a scone, have at least one hidden talent. 📝

By winter, most of her blog post titles were written in THIS FORMAT!!!!!!!! In December, she announced that “Emilie Autumn and the Bloody Crumpets” would preview Opheliac live at the Double Door in Chicago, on Friday the 13th (ooh!) of the following month. “We are coming to destroy your world,” the post threatened enticingly. "Miss it and suffer. We really don't want to hurt you.” The flyer advertised a dress code:

Masquerade, Ophelias, green girls, Victorian insane asylum escapees, princes of Denmark, bloomered harlots and rogues – general burlesque ribaldry!

Exit diaphanous butterfly wings and elven tiaras 📺, enter the haunted murder-doll with the blood-red heart on her cheek; out with Elizabethan chamber-pop, in with Victoriandustrial. The fairy had to die to make way for the iconic, the sublime, the tragic, the ridiculous, the positively bananas...

OPHELIAC ERA: LET THE RECORD SHOW

EA: What's more interesting, and what's more fun to watch, than a crazy girl's self-destruction? Nothing. Nothing in the world. (The Opheliac Companion, 2008 🎤)
If I'm going down Then I'm going down good I'm going down Then I'm going down clean (...) The prettiest broken girl you've ever seen (“Let the Record Show”, 2006 🎵)

CW: mania, self-harm, abortion, suicidal ideation, hospitalization.
If you haven't gathered as much by now, what fans were witnessing in real time on EA's blog, without necessarily seeing it, was the ebb and flow of a months-long manic episode. That's not me armchair-diagnosing: EA herself has discussed penning and recording a lot of her best material in a trance-like rush, “when you're writing on the ceiling because there's not enough paper to contain your thoughts”.

...Once I became stable and healthy, I realized that I had no memory of how a great deal of my music had been created. I had written and even programmed most of my best work in a similar manic state, and, when stark raving sane, I didn’t know how to do it anymore, because the part of me that really composes never needed to know how to do it, it just did. (2019 Instagram post 📝)

It's not an uncommon experience for artists with bipolar disorder. Before you burn so hot that you wind up in the back of an ambulance, and/or before the pendulum swings back towards debilitating depression, the boundless energy, heightened sensitivity, and unexpected thought patterns associated with mania can lead to periods of prolific and effortless creation.
Mania also has the potential to lower your inhibitions, making you more bodacious, more quick-witted – more dazzling, more fun at parties, more dramatic. All traits that are valued in the entertainment industry, especially one that, with the rise of social media, was coming to rely increasingly on parasocial engagement and “personal branding”. Why would you refrain from oversharing, overreacting, overworking, overpromising, overcurating a fantasy image of yourself... when new industry models reward exactly that?
My point is that, in retrospect, “the end was built into the beginning”: all the things that would make fans go “What the hell, Emilie!” in subsequent years were brewing below the surface before the album even dropped.
In the summer of 2006, EA said goodbye to her Chicago friends and returned to California, where she moved in with her new beau, another Illinois-born guitarist with an impressive forehead: Brendon Small, of Dethklok/Metalocalypse quasi-fame. (If you're into that sort of thing: the orchestral strings on “Detharmonic”? Yep, that's EA! 🎵📺)
In September, Opheliac was released into the world. Expectations were high... And many sources agree it was a goddamn banger. It was ultrafemme, ultradark, unhinged, hilarious and deadly and brilliant. It had gnarly kitchen-sink drums layered under angelic string harmonies, fauxperatic swells, and guttural screaming. It had sarcastically self-aware double-entendres that were also literary references that were also musical notation jokes. You get the idea: it was the album that a small, but sizable demographic of tormented millennial teens had been waiting to obsess over. Some time in late 2005 or so, EA had signed with German label Trisol Records, which gave her access to better promotion, press coverage and touring opportunities in Europe when the album came out in the fall. By winter, she was on the cover of alternative mags, and the talk of the town on underground music webzines. Within a year, she was embarking on the first of three almost-back-to-back European tours.
It was around that time that EA started giving her fanbase a more defined, aesthetically on-brand identity. EA, funnily enough, disliked the term “fan” due to its proximity to “fanatic”, and started calling individual supporters “muffins” or the "Bloomer Brigade". (After The Book came out in 2009, they would become “Plague Rats”. You know how pets get weird if you re-name them too many times? I wonder if the same is true of fans.) Meanwhile, EA's fanbase as a collective – as well as her home, her recording studio, her online forum and her inner brainspace... – became canonically known as “The Asylum”. Cue infinite jokes about her fans being “committed.”
And they really were, in a slightly more intense way than your average indie-alternative fanbase. Many fans enthusiastically adopted facets of EA's mannerisms and lingo, which gave the fandom a definite LARP-ing bend; and the official forum did, in fact, offer a subforum for Asylum-themed role-play. (In a number of ways, the Asylum was basically Juggalos for socially anxious theater goths. Substitute the clown facepaint, Faygo, and hatchets for cheek-hearts, Earl Grey tea, and obsolete medical tools.) While there was always some side-eye at the embarrassingly candid, often very young Plague Rats who took the Asylum thing too seriously (always speaking in character and worshipping the ground Mistress Emilie walked on), a lot of people were quite thrilled to play romantic Victorian madhouse with their new favorite artist. Live shows were like costume balls. The forum thrived.
It was like Opheliac had opened a portal to this vibrant and inclusive alternate dimension, which the community was now bringing to life in the real world. And each tour brought more inmates (muffins, Plague Rats, you get it) to the Asylum. “Spread the Plague!” was the name of the game.
So, on paper, in the three years that followed Opheliac, EA kind of won the high-concept-indie-artist equivalent of the lottery. After going through her own personal hell of abuse, major upheavals and serious mental health crises, she had decided to gamble on a radically different tone and musical direction. She came out the other side with critical acclaim for her soul-baring record, tons of live shows with a badass girl squad, photoshoots so iconic they pop up on random Pinterest boards to this day, snazzy corporate sponsorships (including Manic Panic and RockLove Jewelry), and an exponentially growing fanbase who couldn't get enough of whatever she had to give. And she gave quite a lot!
Within those three years, in between tours, EA released A Bit O' This & That 🎵 (a compilation of demos and back-catalogue curiosities), Laced / Unlaced (a full-instrumental double album - one side was the baroque recordings from her late teens, the other was demented, distortion-heavy classical-prog), and three EPs packed with new songs, covers, remixes and bonus content. There was also a deluxe reissue of Enchant, without the puzzle, but with a brand new booklet of handwritten lyrics and marginalia. All came in lovely inter-matching digipaks that really made you want to collect them all – much like the handmade merch 📝🪞 that EA still sold on some legs of her tours. She spent time with the fans at most shows, eventually holding meet-and-greets and private showcases for VIP ticket-holders. She also released “The Opheliac Companion”, a kind of “director's commentary” of the album – roughly 10 hours worth of lyrical deep dives, microphone specs, tangents within tangents within tangents, and whacky (tipsy, sometimes unintelligible) banter between EA and her sound engineer🎤. On top of all that, she wrote, designed and self-published a fully illustrated 200-page coffee-table book, the first print of which sold out within a year. Not bad!
Of course, things that seem to good to be true usually are: at this stage in the story, EA is never as enthusiastically prolific as when her personal life is falling apart behind the scenes.
In the three years that followed Opheliac, along with soaring success, EA got to experience: more rapid-cycling between manic phases and the pits of depression, multiple harrowing medication adjustments, an very-much-unwanted pregnancy followed by a traumatic abortion, a suicide attempt, at least one inpatient stay, and a break-up in the aftermath of it all. There were also a few physical health scares that required hospitalization. On one occasion, she had to go off all her meds cold-turkey when they were confiscated at the EU border right before the start of a tour. In some pictures from her summer 2007 festival appearances, you can make out faint self-harm scars on her thigh through the layered stockings. (Obvious CW, for the morbidly curious.🪞(But if you weren't, would you still be reading?))
So yeah. EA was not doing great.
She didn't share any of these struggles with her fans in real time; her posts were all droll banter and updates on tours and releases. Most of what I just listed was disclosed in late 2009, in the autobiographical part of The Book. (The Book gets at least one instalment of its own. Bear with me, there's a LOT to unpack.) And The Book, while never specifying a timeline, kind of really made it sound like the Bad Stuff (the abortion, the suicide attempt, the hospital stay) had taken place a while back, before the release of Opheliac. In fact, EA plainly stated as much, citing “getting locked up and being put in the asylum" 📝 as the reason for the shift in sound between Enchant and Opheliac.
She repeatedly referred to herself as “stabilized” and “now properly medicated” in interviews. As far as the fanbase was concerned, she had triumphed over her abusers, turned trauma into beauty, and lived to pass on her story of survival. And now she had found balance and community and true acceptance of herself, all that good stuff – and all was fine and dandy within the Asylum. On stage, she sang about blind rage and all-consuming despair and general hopelessness, but she didn't actually feel like that – not anymore, right?
This narrative was both inspirational and quite convenient for the fans. We love our Mad Hatters 🎵📺, our Rainmen, our manic pixies. We love and celebrate “crazy” when it manifests as outside-the-box brilliance and/or bubbly eccentricity. But in my experience, even in spaces that ostensibly focus on "destigmatizing mental illness", positivity and support can quickly turn to rejection and awkwardness when your “quirks” manifest in more challenging ways – like through erratic decisions, aggressive or dishonest behavior, or increasingly untethered beliefs about yourself and the world. No matter how much people claim to “embrace the madness”, it just isn't that fun or in good taste for a large group to play-act ~ whimsical insanity ~ with someone who is for realsies mentally falling apart.
Before time has had time to do its thing, "revisiting your trauma" is just called ruminating. And it's rarely good for you, even when you commit some of greatest art in the process.
I think fans had to assume that there was some critical distance in EA's act, that these extreme negative emotions were all theater – because if they weren't, then the Asylum wasn't an empowering performance about healing from past hurt. It was more like a years-long reality show in which a woman picked at her wounds publicly, again and again, in real time, to the cheers of oblivious strangers who thought they were watching a play.
All I'm saying is that EA was essentially still in the thick of raw trauma when she became a poster-child for overcoming it; that the last thing a person needs, at such a vulnerable stage in their life, is an intense parasocial relationship with sad goth teenagers, let alone one centered around romanticized retellings of their own darkest moments; and that if more people had declined to actively engage in pretend-play that toed the line of self-harm... there is a chance that things might have turned out differently. Maybe EA would still be a successful musician whose career isn't plagued by conflict and mutual disappointment, and maybe some fans wouldn't have wasted years getting red in the face at an over-exposed mentally ill woman for not getting her shit together.
OKAY, THAT GOT HEAVY (and preachy), apologies and thank you for your patience. I will now quit my soapboxing, resume telling the story, and let you draw your own conclusion as our dark plot unravels.

EPILOGUE: DEAD IS THE NEW ALIVE

A quick taste of the poison A quick twist of the knife When the obsession with death, the obsession with death Becomes a way of life ("Dead is the New Alive", 2006 🎵)
I am still over-glorified My reasons to live Were my reasons to die But at least they were mine (“306”, 2006)

In summation: becoming an overnight success thanks to your darkest trauma will do things to person's mind.
As EA kept hyping up how much her fans meant to her, and what an amazing and inclusive and free-thinking motley crew the Asylum was, she was also growing more and more controlling of her increasingly large (and opinionated, and overall rather young) fanbase – and more generally, of the way people ought to talk to and about her.
It was during the Opheliac era that she started reveling in made-up stories about her own life. Then came the habit of losing her shit on fans that she perceived as ungrateful or disrespectful. It was also then that massive kerfuffles became routine on the merch and planning front, and EA's creative output started to routinely fall short of her promises. The more fans started raising legitimate complaints, the more defensive and uncompromising EA became in her public interactions. The more people expressed weariness of the Asylum theme, or started questioning EA's hot takes on mental health and feminism, the harder she doubled down on the Asylum lore and fictional universe. Which is where the drama really starts.
Alright, the time has come. Let's talk about The Book.
...Actually, let's not. I'm nearing my character limit, and you could probably use a break and a stretch after making it this far. This is our intermission, and we'll get to The Book in our next instalment.
Thank you for reading! Stay tuned if you're interested in how it all comes tumbling down.

I've seen so many videos of women talking about it and it honestly makes me sad. The fact that we choose a wild animal over a human being is sickening. And you wanna know the funny part? Men are mad at US for it. Instead of thinking about why we do it they are just getting mad. Complainung about it and showing prove on how dangerous bears are.
But the thing is, we women aren't that stupid as you might think, we are damn well aware that a bear is dangerous and scary. But their is two options what can happen if you come across a bear.

1. The bear kills you/attacks you
2. Runs away

When it comes to a men, well there are more options. It can come to greeting to ignoring you. Or to kill, rob, attack, harrass and rape you. A bear doesn't rape a corpse, men do.
And don't you men fucking dare blame us for it. We women SUFFER. We have suffered for centuries, since moment we were born we were straight up disappointments.
Women often suffer from abuse, mostly by their partner. It can be mentally and physically abuse, including rape. If we're already talking about rape. Women get often blamed for it. "What were you wearing?" Is one of the stupidest things people say. Like, women have been raped for centuries and the clothes weren't to blame. And besides, do you tell that shit to kids too? Plus if we were intoxicated we also get blamed but if the rapists was drunk it's alright, he couldn't think probably. That poor thing. Even if we are dead, men still can't keep their pants up.
But enough of that, women still don't have rights, women are still not equal to men. There's still the pay gap and in some countries, women don't have right at all. Afghanistan for instance, they have to cover their whole body, can't leave the damn house without a men, are getting killed or abused if they don't wear their clothing right. Oh, and if they remove their hijab men sometimes kill them. It's called "honor killing" or something, sometimes they 'just' beat them up for it. To make matters worse, they want to bring the LAW BACK to stone women to DEATH for adultery.
Furthermore, in Africa young girls are getting circumcised on their vagina...
Don't fucking tell us that we are emotional or overreacting. Women have suffered for so damn long and still do.
I'm aware that it's NOT ALL MEN. In fact, thanks for stating the most obvious fact, sherlock. 😒

The Qaum is of Haq, the truth. The truth of God, of our Lord. Ar Rahman Ar Rahim the most merciful and the most compassionate.
Who says what is stated is not understandable, the blessings of and the morals of what reflects through the GCC. Of an almost nil crime rate and without homeless people speaks of what Islam has achieved in the current age, forget the Golden Age of Islam where Knowledge flourished, Wisdom cherished in the appreciation of the truth of God, of virtue, of morals, and those that loved God above all. Of the countless Ulema Ikrams, of the Caliphs and rulers. Abbas, Ali, Usman, prophet Muhammad PBUH the highest after Ibrahim, Ishaq, Yaqub, Moosa, Isa Peace be upon them, the list of all whom children of Adam PBUH, mentioned in the Quran for their selflessness.
And who says the oriental is something not to be considered, when Allah says he sent a prophet to every Land, and more so were the Mursaleen, or the Messiahs, or Messengers of Truth. Of the oneness of God, who is absolute, who begets not and neither is begotten, was made known to all. If at all is to be known the truth, one must look at the heart(qalb), ruh(soul), and not the mind(aql) but rather the aqlaq. In the present age, this is what we have forgotten most. And above all Haya, or modesty. Did the Christians forget that Mother Mary was a virgin? How pious she was!
The matter of fact remains, Muslims don’t dream of 72 virgins in heaven. We already have the most of virgins in our tribes, for we hold the highest place in modesty. In virtue. More so comparatively. The Muslim countries also have the least divorce rates. And in the Islamic thought what is taught is that a man must only have more than one wife when he can treat them equally and at the same time provide for them equally. It’s not a patriarchal opinion. It’s the highest respect one can give womankind, also to fulfil desires of womankind in a legitimate way that allows them rights. Saying this, well known it is that most men in the Muslim world will still not want a second wife out of how much they love their first one.
I’ve read Qaballah, or Jewish Mysticism, as well as Sufism. As part of their active pillar of mercy, in Kaballah, they worship Hasd (called Chesed, and pronounced Hesd) as one of their sephiras, which is but purely what Allah tells us not to do. If a man is powerful, he should be merciful and compassionate, such as what the prophet taught us. We believe in Rahm. And we will be rewarded high in Ajr.
All Muslim rulers except Tamerlane have been kind to prisoners of war, who but followed footsteps of his Mongul Ancestory despite his conversion to Islam who (the latter) were known for their barbaric killings. Why have then Muslims of the current age forgotten this. With ISIS and other groups in the past raping innocent women in Syria and the Levant? Or what they have done, and will never, in the name of Allah, the most compassionate, the most merciful.
Did they not read the Quran? Is this how we are to welcome Mehdi AS to come. For the end is near, which even science too claims can be through the last Big Bang as mentioned in the Quran, which will be. Undoubtedly.
Of the oriental, nothing is new about Idol worship. Idol worship started long back, and was done throughout the ancient world. Lat, Mannat, Hubal, Lilith, Inana, Illu, Set, Ra. The list is endless. So what’s so special about oriental philosophies in this aspect except that even Jews now follow monolatry worshipping the name of a Cannanite deity Yahweh, having left the name unspoken for a period of time till it took hold. Note: Monolatry is absolutely different from Monotheism which Ibrahim AS as well as all the prophets and messengers have preached.
We believe in Tawhid, the oneness of God. Not in Monolatry, not in polytheism, nor in trinitarianism. And we will be rewarded highly for it. And will our Palestinian brothers and sisters. If something, we must learn from them, how despite their crisis, they say All is in the hands of Allah, and he is the best judge and knower of all, in countless videos we are seeing these days.

The Qaum is of Haq, the truth. The truth of God, of our Lord. Ar Rahman Ar Rahim the most merciful and the most compassionate.
Who says what is stated is not understandable, the blessings of and the morals of what reflects through the GCC. Of an almost nil crime rate and without homeless people speaks of what Islam has achieved in the current age, forget the Golden Age of Islam where Knowledge flourished, Wisdom cherished in the appreciation of the truth of God, of virtue, of morals, and those that loved God above all. Of the countless Ulema Ikrams, of the Caliphs and rulers. Abbas, Ali, Usman, prophet Muhammad PBUH the highest after Ibrahim, Ishaq, Yaqub, Moosa, Isa Peace be upon them, the list of all whom children of Adam PBUH, mentioned in the Quran for their selflessness.
And who says the oriental is something not to be considered, when Allah says he sent a prophet to every Land, and more so were the Mursaleen, or the Messiahs, or Messengers of Truth. Of the oneness of God, who is absolute, who begets not and neither is begotten, was made known to all. If at all is to be known the truth, one must look at the heart(qalb), ruh(soul), and not the mind(aql) but rather the aqlaq. In the present age, this is what we have forgotten most. And above all Haya, or modesty. Did the Christians forget that Mother Mary was a virgin? How pious she was!
The matter of fact remains, Muslims don’t dream of 72 virgins in heaven. We already have the most of virgins in our tribes, for we hold the highest place in modesty. In virtue. More so comparatively. The Muslim countries also have the least divorce rates. And in the Islamic thought what is taught is that a man must only have more than one wife when he can treat them equally and at the same time provide for them equally. It’s not a patriarchal opinion. It’s the highest respect one can give womankind, also to fulfil desires of womankind in a legitimate way that allows them rights. Saying this, well known it is that most men in the Muslim world will still not want a second wife out of how much they love their first one.
I’ve read Qaballah, or Jewish Mysticism, as well as Sufism. As part of their active pillar of mercy, in Kaballah, they worship Hasd (called Chesed, and pronounced Hesd) as one of their sephiras, which is but purely what Allah tells us not to do. If a man is powerful, he should be merciful and compassionate, such as what the prophet taught us. We believe in Rahm. And we will be rewarded high in Ajr.
All Muslim rulers except Tamerlane have been kind to prisoners of war, who but followed footsteps of his Mongul Ancestory despite his conversion to Islam who (the latter) were known for their barbaric killings. Why have then Muslims of the current age forgotten this. With ISIS and other groups in the past raping innocent women in Syria and the Levant? Or what they have done, and will never, in the name of Allah, the most compassionate, the most merciful.
Did they not read the Quran? Is this how we are to welcome Mehdi AS to come. For the end is near, which even science too claims can be through the last Big Bang as mentioned in the Quran, which will be. Undoubtedly.
Of the oriental, nothing is new about Idol worship. Idol worship started long back, and was done throughout the ancient world. Lat, Mannat, Hubal, Lilith, Inana, Illu, Set, Ra. The list is endless. So what’s so special about oriental philosophies in this aspect except that even Jews now follow monolatry worshipping the name of a Cannanite deity Yahweh, having left the name unspoken for a period of time till it took hold. Note: Monolatry is absolutely different from Monotheism which Ibrahim AS as well as all the prophets and messengers have preached.
We believe in Tawhid, the oneness of God. Not in Monolatry, not in polytheism, nor in trinitarianism. And we will be rewarded highly for it. And will our Palestinian brothers and sisters. If something, we must learn from them, how despite their crisis, they say All is in the hands of Allah, and he is the best judge and knower of all, in countless videos we are seeing these days.

Hi everyone.
I (22m) had a thourough and long discussion with my GF (20f) about traumatizing abuse she had when she was 14. Without going to much into detail, the abuser, a boy who was 12 at the time, manipulated her into doing oral multiple times over the coarse of their relationship (which lasted about 4 months).
I’ve known about this abuse since we started dating. The conversation we had about it was also enlightening for both of us, although we disagree slightly on a few things which I will mention later on. She knows I don’t want to push her into anything she doesn’t want to do and she felt respected during the whole conversation, so this is no AITA or TIFU post, I’m just looking for people with similar stories from her perspective and the possibility of me thinking too simply about this.
She knows of at least 3 other “victims” the kid manipulated as well, where the assault all comes down to pressuring to perform sexual acts. The way she describes it is that the boy made her feel very special and loved (he lovebombed his victims) after which he would say things like “if you don’t give me a blowjob I don’t believe you love me” or “anyone in a relationship like ours would do [sexual act] to show love”. It was also usually one-sided, meaning the boy didn’t perform any actions in return.
She doesn’t think going to the police for this would do anything. Mostly because of the lack of evidence. She has told me she remembered about an incident where she was pressured into giving oral in a dressing room but said no. After this incident the boy sent her a video in which he explained why a normal girl would have given him oral. She thinks she deleted this video, and that she has no other digital evidence for his behaviour.
I feel like testimonies from all victims together would be sufficient evidence for investigation. The girls she knows about might know similar girls who have suffered under him. They also might still have evidence like the video my gf had. I feel like it might be worth it to reach out to the girls to at least try.
She also tells me he probably didn’t realise he was manipulative, and that he might have changed. I personally believe that if he hasn’t received any repercussions in the meantime the chances are slim he has changed his behavior.
We talked to a cop and he expressed that if multiple victims come forward with just testimonies it could be enough to spark an investigation, even if it was years ago.
For context, here in the Netherlands sexual acts performed under consent which is achieved by means of manipulation is considered rape or assault.
Am I wrong for thinking it could be worth the try?

Yesterday while scrolling through the reels I came across a video where a Christian women was talking about the Israel-palestine conflict and in the video she literally said and i am not joking one bit "Sorry but i can't codemn the atrocities committed by IDF on gazans because this is God's will and God has the power to remove any civilization and we must not question him" "Instead we should support him in his task as his word is the truth" I want to ask the Christians lurking here is your God so morally corrupt that it can kill millions of people because he wished so but satan is the real devil. Like how you have to be at a criminally insane level to believe that any child deserves to go through this. You call this God's will, normal sane humans call this type of person a genocidal warlord in real world. This video just proves that these 1000+ year books only justify murder, rape, genocide in name of spreading the "truth".

there was this one youtube channel that would expose these one people for their crimes but not reveal their names or other stuff on youtube unless they dont do something, and they used the anonymous mask as their mascot kinda, they would like send photos of their house, reveal their ip n stuff, they also called this one guys dad and turned off a womans lights, and i remember 2 videos, one of these was this guy whose dad was called, he was shown videos of people he knew asking him why he raped this one woman then played victim, and another video of this woman who supposedly abused her children, and in the end they both apologized and had to promise to not do it again, this guys intro was also like this cube that would light up as orange, and there was 2 people, one was orange and the other was green i think, and they would mainly do cod to get to these people
please help me i really wanna watch this guy again

They had convicted the suspect before on rape, kidnapping, and homicide charges when they had every reason to know he didn't do it.
At deposition they appeared to be evasive and outright lie under oath.
They told the public the agency being sued had no meaningful participation. They told the jury the agency was always supervised.
Neither the RAV4 blood, the burn barrel electronics, the magic bullet, the burn barrel bones, the RAV4 key, the fire pit bones, nor the quarry bones were found on the first day they were searched.
Out of the reportedly 120 cops working the case, there is apparently no paperwork demonstrating who did what for the vast majority of activity.
A voice-mail which originally led cops to be more interested in other suspects disappeared after being collected.
They told the public info the ethics rules state will likely bias a jury trial. They bragged about how easily they could murder the defendant. They exploited a learning disable child, conducting interviews long hours multiple days with no parent or lawyer, and telling him how to say the murder happened.
They recorded video and audio of discussions with attorneys, appeared to use this information to confiscate defense evidence, and then led a court ordered investigation to believe none of this happened. They also hid and lied about the evidence they confiscated.
They took the DOJ attorney caught covering up the 1985 case and made him one of the prosecutors and the head of the appeals.
They told two different juries two different theories of the same crime.
They promised to support the defense's request for an extension to do more testing and then proceeded to oppose it.
They told a jury that bones previously described as human multiple times were not human.
They hid audio from lawful requests both by the defense and by the public, and hid witnesses helpful to the defense.
They threatened an elected official with a legal duty to provide oversight with arrest.
They made multiple baseless collateral legal attacks against First Amendment speech that favored the defense, and produced their own counter perspective hosted by an antisemitic vaccine denier.
Their chief spokesperson has had his legal license suspended multiple times, was forced out of elected office in disgrace, and appears to be a serial rapist.
It blows my mind there is not 100% consensus that law enforcement in this case cannot be trusted.

I don't have any particular question to answer but as I am describing the story you can point out some pointers for me !!!
I Live in eastern side of India, only child of my parents.from the very beginning I went through some I will not say traumatic but rather very upsetting childhood. The upsetting situation caused by my mum like pointing out negativity in almost every aspects of daily life and household though there was no monetary or any other kind of problem and my dad who was small government employee always remain silent and became work alcoholic. So all the unnecessary tantrums created by my mom started bursting upon me and I kind the feel helpless and detached.
I was a good student throughout the school also love extra curricular activities but I started to walk in a very wrong way from the very early high school days as I started watching porn just for curiosity as just the age of 13. My studies showing a slow but gradual decline probably there was no turning back for me and my parents.
In 9 standard in our school at about age of 14 a girl was admitted at our class. She was not local residing around 30 km from our local household. I fall in love at first site with her but could not tell for one year. And after 10th standard I finally proposed her and within 2 days she accepted my proposal and the main ruining of my life just started on that day.
I managed everything from friends to studies but the main priority was her. Now a days when I look back I can now see the red flags Which I ignored back then. After the relationship started the she became the whole world for me. I single handedly manage studies friends but she was the top priority. Now my grades were declining gradually and fast but I didn't notice. Back them our area was very rural and the people were not friendly and love marriage was not just a common thing those days. So i told her to hide our relationship in public but within few weeks all the locality knows about me and her. I also told her not to call at residential phone ( it was 2006 and I just got a Nokia 1100 for me but she always use her residential phone) but despite being told such she called me at my home when it was Sunday and my dad picked up. She talked to my father very smartly for the very first time and asked to come at my home which was absurd. My dad got furious and warned me but I ignored and letter she said it was just for fun. Despite of this we were dating furiously and having physical relationship within 2 years of relationship on a regular basis basically in my home and she even spends some whole nights with me and her parents doesn't even bother.
About her family she has her parents along with elder brother (now a college professor ) and an elder sister (housewife).She always said that she also got some family problems like me and their elder brother were very rude and career oriented so both the sisters avoid him as much as possible as he had some anger management issues ( that what she told me)
My dad got sick on 2007 and died on 2008 because of kidney failure when I was in the second year of the college and again my mom opted for lump sum amount in exchange of dying in harness. She got the lump sum the pension and all other fixed deposits. My result of college don't get so good for these all kind of obstacles but she maintained good result go to the best professor where I managed seat for her and even spends regular nights in my rented mess. I did not got admitted to masters as I had low scores but she managed to a non reputed University and completed his masters while I am doing some petty jobs. She even got a school job by my professors recommendation for one year of contract.
At the last phase of contract she applied for another school job for a different region but in our local area which can be contacted by bus or train but around 50 km from our household. And just after joining the school the summer vacation starts and she started to pressurize me for getting married. I was also sitting for government exams doing some tuitions but just denied forcefully about the timing of the marriage. Then this was the biggest red flag ever which I missed ( fate may be) she not just pressurized but also in a conference call with some closest friends she said i was traitor and leaving her even after 8 years of physical relationship though I did not say or mean that ever as she was the one and only girl in my life and I planned the rest of my life with her and even she known it very well. So when this kind of arguments started I can smell fume and without any jobs or stable future we got married in a local Mandir and after that day the registry was done and we started our married life just as the age of 23.
On the marriage date she got to her home ( as she was staying at her friends home for last 15 days) got a car, packed all her books and clothes and just left while her parents were watching silently.
As I said previously my mom was always dissupported as I say she started acting hostile towards the new bride. She was working then on the school and came home at the weekends. At first she said she had to get married as her parents are pressurrising her and she cannot stay two months long summer vacation in the newly made hostel. But when I got there as the new husband I saw that this was not the boarding rather it was a two stories house just like our own home where some board members family live on upside and my wife as a tenant at their house but I did not make that huge issue in our newly married life.
In my life I am kind a losing something in my mind. Always kind of introvert didn't landed on any good jobs no love from parents but got my High school sweetheart as my first love and wife but I was not happy as there is something fishy happening around. When outside I can feel my friends also started avoiding me a bit and at home there was always some tensions. Also preparing for government jobs and doing tuitions and these tensions were draining me out and for the very first time I started smoking weed which became addiction to a certain extent.
In 2017 she got a government job while I got rejected at the very last step but didn't bother me too. Then I thought that all the problems will be solved as the income got permanent and became 4 times but I was severely wrong.
She got the government job in the local area so started meeting some new people in her workplace also in another branch offices. And their comes to 2/3 people ( two local seniors and an outsider lady colleague, sort of) whom she brought to our home just for introduction. The lady colleague was living then in a rented flat in our area. My friends sometimes saw them both walking around the area and they started questioning to me about the second lady with my wife as they said her body language is not so good ( you know what boys are trying to say )as they are guessing so they suggested to prevent my wife from the attachment with her but this time she refuses.
Also another 10 years senior came to our home for introduction started coming regularly for his only daughters tuition and became elder brother as she said she got no connections with her parents which was a lie and started giving daily household items like foods grocery's as payment of tuition. Then I can smell something very much wrong is going on. While all these things going there were another pressure started upon me. As i was open book to each and everyone, everyone knows about the weed so do she. So she started asking for a child as we were both 30 and for the last time I protested and told her that please give me another 2 years as parenthood is a lifetime job but rather she says you didn't do anything in last 7 years so another 2 years will be futile too but our age was crossing the limits 🥲 so let's just try. She probably thought that the weed made me in capable of having child and now I guess she was also not ready but on July 2020 she gave birth to a beautiful daughter. The lock down started from March 2020 and she was 6 months pregnant and this so called elder brother started helping with all his money and power. She already bought Big fridge AC washing machine geysers and lots of other things despite of my gentle refusal. Now even the pathology guys came to home collect blood and send the reports to us.
Just after 2 months having the baby she started planning to get some good wooden furniture for home basically pure Shagun cots with box which will cost around 1.5 lakh rupees. And said this will serves the purpose of hot daughters marriage too & brought both of those and said my senior paid this and said you can repay me later. I remained silent as I started one year back and just observing everything. Just after some days of rice ceremony that man started awkward messaging to my wife. When she showed to me I called and abused him and in return he started blackmailing and told to repay him asap. We repaid him just the day after the incident happened and then I started questioning her for the first time in my life. Every night was a quarrelly night. She said she did not recognise that that person had kind of bad intentions but I refused to believe that then for the very first time she started to open part by part that why was I called her for physical relationship from the very first time, I also replied that you were not a kid so why would you had came!!! She also told that she only went to the university for making career not for me. The situation getting harder and harder and my maternal house came and escort her to my maternal house and then to her house for the deescalating the situation but the got even worse.
We were separated for 2 months then I got a good job outside my state and she came back with the daughter and said now everything is okay and she will cooperate in all things. But I still was disturbed asking myself some more questions about us so I moved out to my new workplace and within 3/ 4 months I started figuring out everything about our relationship as this was a very first opportunity for me to connect and deal with the real world outside my comfort zone. And I am getting information from my hometown buddies and even from my home that she was going to her father's house on a regular basis almost daily and spending time at outside frequently even once she came to home at around 11:30 at night but my mom remained silent but informed me. Also some other guys told me that she was riding a bike which someone but I did not informed her about these.
When I came home I could see and also feel a definitely changed person in front of me. My computer table was dirty as hell and it was 4 months before when I left the house. At a Relaxation session she started bragging about her parents that they were in so much pain blah blah blah then I asked can I get my wedding rings bracelets watches and she furiously replied I I could not bring that matter now to my parents.
I left for my workplace again and now over the phone she started to pressurize about money as she bought a TV of 20k so I have to pay 10k atleast where as my salary was just 15k at that time so I strongly refuses then she told I can re pay it even after 10 years 🥲.
The whole picture was getting clear to me day by day. After the second term I left the job and came back home to find the new job which would be two months late. Now I can definitely feel some weird feelings when she was got around me. At the very last day of our physical relationship I suddenly questioned her that did anyone see you naked other than me ( actually it was a old story she told me that in the private school when she was in the boarding at night when she was showering some guy tried to stock but with the some sounds she got warned and heard someone escaped ) and I felt like her world stopped as she reacted and then I reminded her about this incident and she showed some relief expressions which answered my all my questions about her.
I left for my new job again and told her to stay with the daughter in our first floor while I I would be at the ground floor with my mother. We stop talking through phone but just after one month she messaged me and asked me to send rs 3000 right now for some home water purifier purpose. I strictly denied that and after 2 or 3 days at a night duty when I was alone and fully drunk and stoned I called her and told that I was not giving a single penny to her. Then for my utter surprise for the first time she replied violently that she will kick me out from my own house and also inform the police that I smoke weed as SHE GOT A VIDEO FROM OUR OWN HOUSE WHERE I SMOKING A JOINT AT THE TERRACE 🤯.
From that moment I knew something really wrong was happening at home and I had to get back there is asap. I returned to my home after 2 months of that incident and found out that last time when she got away for 2 months all the first floor was wide open but this time all the things were locked with separate locks. When she turn from workplace I asked to give my guitar and computer back to me but she refused and told that I have to came to my family to get that. I sent my mom and now she said the same video thing with some new allegations that I tortured her punched her broke her bangles etc which I could not imagine off. Also one of my friend told me that she got another senior who gave her to the idea of that weed video and he was also 40 year old male and she also spend time with the person even bunking Her own work.
As my mind said I am started searching for legal advisors as the situation seemed very drastic to me And also applied a small lock in the first floor when she was in the office as she can go in or out but cannot lock as I set a lock.
On 20 December 2022 the morning before I install the lock she came down and started threatening me and my mom that he will call the police if I did not open the lock. I told her to do so and instead of police she called some local committee members. They came within 10 minutes and to my utter surprise those guys started not just threatening but even tried to assault me, but I did not open the lock so another local community came and then they started behaving more aggressively. My mom informed the police and her parents came along and started residing on our first floor.
Around 15 days after the incident suddenly one police officer came to my house threatened my mum and me without any proper documents and asked to leave the matter and live peacefully with her. I finally got a criminal lawyer and filed a FIR against her and her parents. Within 3 days she again got the committee got a transport got all her fridge AC washing machine TV computer electric boards tube lights fans and moved in a nearby housing complex. And just after that day I got a call from my lawyer that me and my mom where charged against IPC section 498 and 5 other subsections.
We applied for bail but the bail got rejected several times as there are two false proofs one is a medical report from a local government hospital mentioned that the mom and the daughter attacked and bitten buy me and my mum and we both are addicts 🥲. Also another one from the second local committee stating those same false facts. Also she really had that weed video that she showed to all committee that's why they became so much furious even after knowing me better than her.
However our lawyer did their best and granted bail for both of us but told that for the drug charge I maybe barred from meeting my daughter. In that time she again charged with false attempt to rape case but this time with no proof. Now some of my friends started searching and they got some fishy information from the past that she was a very tricky girl,already broke a relationship before me, had a very quirky past, very over smart also provocating also one of the false proof brought by a very close and common friend of US actually a friend of her.
When I don't know that what to do suddenly one of my friend caught her with another common friend of US wondering around a guest house few kilometers away from here with hand in hand. For the very first time I got my hands on some pics and videos about her characteristics and I immediately retaliate back and within 2 months that so called friend who was with her called me over the phone and started asking to meet my wife and daughter. I cursed him properly and after 15 days I got a mutual divorce pray from her.
Last week when I go to the court for the mutual divorce again to my utter surprise I saw that the first senior ( who became elder brother and give lakh rupees ) came with her for this event. But the judge did not came and the day is now one month later. I came back home and found out that the elder brother is coming to her flat in our locality on a regular basis at noon where is the common friend who has hand in hand with her is going to date with her once or twice in a week. Also there were some another divorcee guy in their office with whom she might get married in near future.🙏🏽
I don't know how I described the whole situation but I don't have any particular question.
I just want to know about some particular thoughts opinions about the incident?????

The fact that you cannot kill kids in a lot of violent games like GTA, RDR2, etc has always seemed a bit strange to me. Obviously, I am against child violence in real life, but in violent video games, there are all sorts of messed up stuff you can do like murder, genocide, terrorism, rape, etc, but killing children is strangely not one of them. I mean, are you really telling me that in video games, blowing up an Iraqi hospital or something is OK, but the second you kill one kid now the game is innapropriate and too messed up?

https://www.belfasttelegraph.co.uk/sunday-life/news/jeffrey-donaldson-slapped-with-ban-on-contact-with-any-children-under-16/a1248344472.html
Jeffrey Donaldson’s bail terms ban him from having any contact with any children under the age of 16. The condition was imposed on the former DUP leader following his appearance at Newry Magistrates’ Court last Wednesday on historic sex offences. Eleven charges Sir Jeffrey (61) faces include one of gross indecency with or towards a child, rape and nine counts of indecent assault on a female. The Lagan Valley MP has said he will strenuously contest the accusations which span a 20-year period. His wife Eleanor Donaldson’s bail conditions ban her from having “unsupervised contact with any person under the age of 16”. The 58-year-old denies two charges of child cruelty, one of aiding and abetting rape, and one of aiding and abetting an indecent assault on a female. Earlier bail conditions that prevented the couple from having contact with each other following their arrests on March 28 were lifted last week. Sources say this will allow Eleanor to visit her husband at his London flat where he has been living since being charged.
The couple at a wedding There has been controversy over chaos which followed their court appearance in Newry, when the couple were swamped by onlookers who pushed through police lines blocking a road. But if their case goes to trial, the public will be banned for the duration of the trial unless they are directly involved in the case or one friend or relative nominated by an alleged victim or suspect.
The Justice (Sexual Offences and Trafficking Victims) Act (Northern Ireland) 2022 provides for the exclusion of the public from serious sexual offences trials.
This exclusion direction is not by application, instead “where a person is to be tried on indictment for a serious sexual offence, the court must give an exclusion direction before the beginning of the trial”.
Jeffrey Donaldson outside Newry courthouse on Wednesday The Act came into force after the rape trial involving rugby players Paddy Jackson and Stuart Olding, who were found not guilty.
The 2018 case at Belfast Crown Court attracted dozens of curious onlookers who gathered in the public gallery to watch a woman, who said she was sexually assaulted, give evidence.
Despite having her identity anonymised by law, anyone in attendance could hear her name and watch her being cross-examined. At several points during her intimate evidence, there was laughter, jeers and scoffs from the public gallery. There is also speculation that proceedings will be moved from Newry courthouse to the Laganside court complex in Belfast, which is much easier for the PSNI to secure.
Footage of the couple leaving Newry Magistrates’ Court and being surrounded by crowds, which included journalists, has gone viral. Many of the video recordings shared online are in contempt of court. When the Donaldsons appeared in the dock minutes before, scores of people tuned in on the court Sight-link system to see the charges put to them.
This included a farmer in a barn who was repeatedly asked by the court clerk to mute his microphone to mask noise being made by mooing cows and a barking dog.
The PSNI has also been heavily criticised for its handling of the public order situation outside court. Instead of erecting crash barriers to shepherd the crowds, officers instead tried to form a cordon which was easily breached. It is because of this that there is a growing expectation the case could be moved to Belfast.
As well as being banned from having contact with any person under the age of 16, Sir Jeffrey’s bail conditions prevent him from contacting “the injured parties or any prosecution witnesses, by any means”.
A prosecution lawyer said an updated list of potential witnesses would be provided to the court. He added that “more witnesses have been spoken to since the charges were laid”.

I fucking hate like beggars. They're like: "OOH OOH LIKE MY COMMENT BECAUSE IF YOU DON'T YOU HATE EVERY SINGLE FUCKING RELIGIOUS FIGURES (oh and ur dad) IF YOU DON'T!1!1!1!" Like shut the fuck up, your dad hates you, your mom hates you, not even your DOG wants to be even a mile near you, yet still they wake up in their crusty bed with snot stains and moldy cheetos all over them, get up, knocking the empty prime bottles next to their bed over, grab their crusty iPad with grime all over it, find a sad video or a video with therians/furries, or just one with cookingwithlynja and decide to unironically beg for comment likes THAT DON'T DO ANYTHING. I fucking hate these people with every DAMN fiber of my MOTHERFUCKING BEING. And guess what? Some of these dudes are MATURE GROWN MEN. That's so fucking disgusting, dude. I can't imagine being a literal grown man that's gone through puberty wakes up and DOES THIS SHIT. FUCK THESE MOTHERFUCKING DISGUSTING SHOWER REPELLED BITCHASS "PEOPLE" TO HELL. I HOPE THEY GET RAPED IN THE ASS BY A SHORT MORBIDLY OBESE WHITE DUDE WITH A 24 INCH 18 INCH GIRTH MONSTER COCK, I DON'T GIVE A SINGULAR MOTHERFUCKING FUCK IF THEY'RE MOSTLY CHILDREN OR PEOPLE WITH IMPERFECT MINDS, FUCK THEM. I HOPE THEY DIE A GORY PAINFUL SLOW DEATH AND END UP IN A PLACE ASTRONOMICALLY WORSE THAN HELL. FUCK. THEM. SO. MUCH.

TW//Sexual Abuse//Physical Violence

Hi All, I'm a male between ages 20 and 30 and this is my childhood experience. I could use as much support as possible since I’m catching some backlash from my family for bringing this up.

BACKGROUND: CHILD ABUSE CULT

When I say cult, I don't mean a cult in the sense of David Koresh compound style cult, I mean more so in mindset and fringe religious practices. My parents believed in the doctrine called "mortification of the flesh", which basically states that people are born evil, and to make them not evil, you have to hit them. See [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Discipline\\\_(instrument\\\_of\\\_penance)\](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Discipline\_(instrument\_of\_penance))
My parents are extremist fundamentalist Christians. My dad was basically a pastor, and my mom "home schooled" us. When I say home school, I'm being very generous on the school part. They were part of the Quiverful evangelical home school movement and held to the teachings of people like Jonathan Lindvall, Dough Philips, Tedd Tripp, Mike and Debbie Pearl, Stan and Brenna Jones, and Dennis and Barbra Rainey, among others.
Basically, I have solid proof my parents were using these books on me.

TEACHINGS OF TEDD TRIPP

The teachings of Tedd Tripp are certifiably insane. I'll provide several quotes here from his book, "Shepherding a Child's Heart":
* "Spanking is most effective in dealing with young children. They fear being spanked. The spanking gives weight to your words. The spanking sobers and humbles the child. As children get older they get more stoic about spanking. They learn how to deal with it. The intensity of spanking required to make the same impression on a 12-year-old that you make on a 2-year-old would be excessive.”
* “Remove his drawers so that the spanking is not lost in the padding of his pants.... It is best to lay the child across your lap rather than over a bed or a chair. This puts the spanking in the context of your physical relationship. He is not being removed from you to a neutral object for the purpose of being disciplined.”
* “I have witnessed spankings administered through a double layer of diapers to a child who never stopped moving long enough to know he had been spanked. The spanking was ineffective because the parents never made the rod felt.”
* “When your child is old enough to resist your directives, he is old enough to be disciplined. When he is resisting you, he is disobeying. If you fail to respond, those rebellious responses become entrenched. The longer you put off disciplining, the more intractable the disobedience will become.”
* “Rebellion can be something as simple as a small child struggling against a diaper change or stiffening his body when you want him to sit on your lap. The discipline procedure is the same as that which is laid out above. You have no way of knowing how much a child less than a year old can understand, but we do know that understanding comes long before the ability to articulate. Your temptation will be to wait until your children are speaking and able to articulate their rebellion before you deal with it.”
* “When our oldest child was approximately 8 months old, we were confronted with parenting our first mobile child. He crawled everywhere. We had a bookshelf constructed of boards and bricks. Fearing the shelf would fall on him, Margy told him not to pull himself up by the shelf. After moving him away from the shelf, she left the room. As she peeked in on him, she observed him surveying the room. Not seeing her, he headed back toward the forbidden bookshelf. Here was a young child, not yet able to walk or to talk, looking to see if the coast was clear so he could disobey. Obviously, he was old enough to be disciplined.”
* “After you have spanked, take the child up on your lap and hug him, telling him how much you love him...On some occasions I have had to say to our children: ‘Dear, Daddy has spanked you, but you are not sweet enough yet. We are going to have to go back upstairs for another spanking.’”
Tedd tripp said in an interview on desiringgod: “But what is the purpose of it? I think spanking is most effective with younger children. Spanking gets their attention. It gives weight to your words. It humbles them. They want to avoid it. And it becomes very effective, particularly with little children where you can’t really reason with them, and they are not capable of complex reasoning.... So I think that it is indispensable in those early years particularly.”

MIKE AND DEBBIE PEARL:

The book, "To Train Up a Child" is also particularly nasty, and 1994 edition especially so. In the 2015 version, they tried to smooth over some of the more abusive passages because parents were hitting their kids to death and they were using this book.
The book emphasizes the doctrine of the mortification of the flesh, stating:
* “A spanking (whipping, paddling, switching, or belting) is in-dispensable to the removal of guilt in your child. His very conscience (nature) demands punishment.”
* “If God’s love is expressed by the ‘whippings’ He gives, then can we not also love our children enough to chasten them unto holiness?”
* “The very nature of the child makes the rod an indispensable element in child training and discipline....“They go astray as soon as they be born, speaking lies” (Psalm 58:3).”
More messed up stuff includes:
* The opening line of this book states, “SWITCH YOUR KIDS”
* “Training does not necessarily require that the trainee be capable of reason; even mice and rats can be trained to respond to stimuli. Careful training can make a dog perfectly obedient. If a seeing-eye dog can be trained to reliably lead a blind man through the obstacles of a city street, shouldn’t a parent expect more out of an intelligent child? A dog can be trained not to touch a tasty morsel laid in front of him. Can’t a child be trained not to touch?”
* “A dog can be trained to come, stay, sit, be quiet or fetch upon command. You may not have trained your dog that well, yet every day someone accomplishes it on the dumbest mutts. Even a clumsy teenager can be trained to be an effective trainer in a dog obedience school. If you wait until your dog is displaying unacceptable behavior before you rebuke (or kick) him, you will have a foot-shy mutt who is always sulking around seeing what he can get away with before being screamed at.”
* “Where there is an absence of training, you can no more rebuke and whip a child into acceptable behavior than you can the family dog. No amount of discipline can make up for lack of training.”
* “Proper training always works on every child. To neglect training is to create miserable circumstances for yourself and your child. Out of innocent ignorance many of you have bypassed the training and expected the discipline alone to effect proper behavior.”
* “There is much satisfaction in training up a child. It is easy and challenging. When my children were able to crawl (in the case of one, roll) around the room, I set up training sessions. Try it yourself. Place an appealing object where they can reach it, maybe in a ‘No- no’ corner or on an apple juice table (That’s where the coffee table once sat). When they spy it and make a dive for it, in a calm voice say, "No, don’t touch it." They will already be familiar with the ‘No,’ so they will pause, look at you in wonder and then turn around and grab it. Switch their hand once and simultaneously say, ‘No.’”
* “Remember, you are not disciplining, you are training. One spat with a little switch is enough. They will again pull back their hand and consider the relationship between the object, their desire, the command and the little reinforcing pain. It may take several times, but if you are consistent, they will learn to consistently obey, even in your absence.”
* “As the mother, holding her child, leans over the crib and begins the swing downward, the infant stiffens, takes a deep breath and bellows. The battle for control has begun in earnest. Someone is going to be conditioned. Either the tender-hearted mother will cave-in to this self-centered demand (thus training the child to get his way by crying) or the infant is allowed to cry (learning that crying is counterproductive).”
Further evidence of the abusive nature of Mike & Debbie Pearl’s teachings is found in a video clip of Mike Pearl speaking at a seminar, demonstrating with a child doll, where he stated, “I'm gonna get this rod if he screams too hard with the first five \[and\] gets hysterical... wait... you know a little psychological terror sometimes more effective than the pain.”
See [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wt0QOKbEj7A\](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wt0QOKbEj7A) for a solid video by the channel Fundie Fridays on the Pearls.
Furthermore, Mike Pearl has explicitly justified domestic violence. In the book, “Created to be His Help Meet” by Debbie Pearl, described on the cover page as a guide to “Discover how God can make your marriage glorious”, Mike Pearl writes a section explicitly advocates for women to endure domestic violence:
* “Has your husband reviled you and threatened you? You are exhorted to respond as Jesus did. When he was reviled and threatened, he suffered by committing himself to a higher judge who is righteous. You must commit yourself to the one who placed you under your husband’s command."
* “Your husband will answer to God, and you must answer to God for how you respond to your husband, even when he causes you to suffer. Just as we are to obey government in every ordinance, and servants are to obey their masters, even the ones who are abusive and surly, ‘likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands’...”
* “You can freely call your husband ‘lord’ when you know that you are addressing the one who put him in charge and asked you to suffer at your husband’s hands just as our Lord suffered at the hands of unjust authorities...”
* “When you endure evil and railing without returning it, you receive a blessing, not just as a martyr, but as one who worships God.”
The Seattle times actually wrote about the Pearls and their book: [https://www.seattletimes.com/seattle-news/did-hanas-parents-train-her-to-death/\](https://www.seattletimes.com/seattle-news/did-hanas-parents-train-her-to-death/)
* “‘It’s truly an evil book,’ said Michael Ramsey, the district attorney for Butte County, Calif.Ramsey successfully prosecuted Kevin and Elizabeth Schatz for hitting their daughter Lydia to death in Paradise, Calif., in 2006 with a plastic plumbing-supply tube — the kind the Pearls mention in an article on their website called ‘In Defense of Biblical Chastisement.’”
* “In Washington state, the death of Hana Williams marked the third time the Pearls’ names and their book have surfaced after the death of a child....”
* “Pearl encourages parents to think of the switch as a ‘magic wand’ and says teaching a child to obey is like training an animal: ‘A dog can be trained not to touch a tasty morsel laid in front of him. Can’t a child be trained not to touch?’”

JAMES DOBSON & FOCUS ON THE FAMILY

James Dobson is the founder of the religious organization and lobbying group Focus on the Family.
Here's a video of Dobson with Ronald Reagan in the Oval Office of the White House: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4hGZvawO1V8
The first chapter of his book, the New Strong Willed Child, describes Dobson beating his dog:
“He was a stubborn, twelve-pound dachshund named Sigmund Freud (Siggie), who honestly believed that he owned the place.... On the night of our great battle, I told Sigmund to leave his warm seat and go to bed. Instead, he flattened his ears and slowly turned his head toward me.... That was Siggie’s way of saying, “Get lost!”
I had seen this defiant mood before and knew that I had to deal with it. The only way to make Siggie obey was to threaten him with destruction. Nothing else worked. I turned and went to my closet and got a small belt to help me “reason” with ’ol Sig. My wife, who was watching this drama unfold, told me that as soon as I left the room, Siggie jumped from his perch and looked down the hall to see where I had gone. Then he got behind her and growled....
When I returned, I held up the belt and again told the angry dog to get into his bed. He stood his ground so I gave him a firm swat across the rear end, and he tried to bite the belt. I popped him again and he tried to bite me. What developed next is impossible to describe.
That tiny dog and I had the most vicious fight ever staged between man and beast. I fought him up one wall and down the other, with both of us scratching and clawing and growling. I am still embarrassed by the memory of the entire scene. Inch by inch I moved him toward the family room and his bed...
This is not a book about the discipline of dogs. But there is an important aspect of my story that is highly relevant to the world of children. Just as surely as a dog will occasionally challenge the authority of his leaders, a child is inclined to do the same thing, only more so.”

JONATHAN LINDVALL & BOLD CHRISTIAN PARENTING

My parents would play tapes of Jonathan Lindvall when we went on road trips. He advocated for a radical evangelical homeschool lifestyle, social isolation of children from other “worldly” children, having as many children as possible regardless of financial means, explicitly denounced the socialization of children, and stated that children’s education should focus primarily on the Bible.
I couldn't find the actual tapes they played but I found his old website: [https://web.archive.org/web/20120829030118/http://boldchristianliving.com/\](https://web.archive.org/web/20120829030118/http://boldchristianliving.com/)
Some outstanding bits include:
* “We all want our children to have the skills and disciplines to provide for their familiessome day. But job preparation is similarly not worthy as a primary goal of homeschooling. Jesus explicitly warned us not to be concerned with how our food and clothing are supplied (Matt. 6:19-34). This, in fact, is the context in which he called us to ‘seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness.’”
* “There are many desirable, God-pleasing results likely to come from our obedience to God in choosing to personally disciple our children. But no matter how good they are, if they are the focus, rather than our aim being to bring Jesus pleasure, they can become idols for us. Many homeschoolers have become enamored with the vision of the long-term societal (political/economic) impact our practices can have. May the Lord bring all this about, but may our hearts be set on Him more than on the impact we can have.”
* “Another objection virtually every homeschooler in western society has been confronted by is the ‘socialization’ question. In our society is assumed to be essential for children to spend time with peers to be properly adjusted. Yet the preponderance of scripture cautions from the opposite perspective. Proverbs 12:26 warns, ‘The righteous should choose his friends carefully, For the way of the wicked leads them astray.’ Proverbs 13:20 is even more pointed, saying, ‘He who walks with wise men will be wise, But the companion of fools will be destroyed.’ Paul was apparently quoting an accepted proverb at the time when he wrote, ‘Do not be deceived: ‘Evil company corrupts good habits’’ (1 Cor. 15:33).”
* “No doubt the Lord wants our children to learn to benefit from edifying fellowship, just as He wants this for us. However, positive social skills are generally not learned from children. God intends for fathers (not peers) to shape their children’s values and tendencies ‘in the training and admonition of the Lord’ (Eph. 6:4). This requires protecting our children from peer domination, and instead structuring our family lifestyles to facilitate intense, intimate relationship between our children and ourselves.”
* “Sadly, perhaps as a result of the world’s challenges regarding ‘socialization,’ many homeschoolers feel pressure to provide settings where their children can spend large amounts of time with peers. Thus, over the years we have seen homeschool support groups move from supporting the parents to supporting the children with extra-familial activities like sports teams, group music experiences, and cooperative classes. There are probably times when it is appropriate to expose our families to teaching situations where the parents are not necessarily doing all the teaching, but it is a significant danger to fall into the habit of exposing our children to the addictive peer group influences.”
• “Virtually every homeschool parent will easily identify the most frequently asked question about their homeschooling as, ‘What about socialization?’ When people ask this question, what are they wondering about? Are they worried that our children will not be capable of displaying lifelong servanthood for the glory of God? Generally not. They are shocked that we are not intimidated at the thought of our children being different from everyone else.”
• “Socialism is the attempt to equalize everyone--make everyone alike. But God didn't make us alike. He made each of us, including our children, to be unique. And we are not to minimize, but maximize our distinctives for the glory of God. We are not to try to mask our uniqueness beneath a facade of timid conformity. We are to SHINE! Jesus said (Mat 5:16), ‘Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven.’”

STAN AND BRENNA JONES

First of all, here’s a photo of the author: [https://www.christiansexed.com/about-the-authors/\](https://www.christiansexed.com/about-the-authors/)
Their book, “What’s the Big Deal: Why God cares about sex” identifies as a christian sex education book for children as young as age 8. The cover of the book states, “Ages 8-12”.
The book states in the introduction, “We believe that God means for Christian parents to be their children’s primary sex educators. First messages are the most powerful-why wait until your child hears distorted views and then try to correct the misunderstanding? Sexuality is a beautiful gift-why not present it to your child the way God intended?”.
This book contains passages explicitly describing:
* How pleasurable sex is;
* The location and pleasurability of the clitoris;
* The sensitivity of the penis to pleasure
* What porn is and where it's found
* What rape porn is
* What sex slavery is
* Explicit descriptions of orgasms, including describing them as a sudden burst of pleasure
My dad read me this book when I was 8, 3rd grade.
TEDD TRIPP & BDSM P0RN SITES
What really got me thinking about this was the fact that in my state, the statute of limitations to sue in civil court for assault and battery was up, however the statute of limitations on sexual abuse was not.
So obviously all of this stuff is pretty messed up. But what takes it to the next level of messed up and makes what they did a sex crime (I'm hoping the DA sees it the same way), is when you really look at what Tedd Tripp advocates parents do to their children:
“Remove his drawers so that the spanking is not lost in the padding of his pants.... It is best to lay the child across your lap rather than over a bed or a chair. This puts the spanking in the context of your physical relationship. He is not being removed from you to a neutral object for the purpose of being disciplined.”
Which basically means:
* Take off the child's clothes
* Place them on your lap, fully or partially naked
* Strike them with what could legally be classified as a deadly weapon
So I started thinking about how spanking is a BDSM kink and fetish. Which was weird to think about in the context of what your parents did to you.
Then I thought, well damn there are tons of BDSM p0rn sites, there have to be some with what happened to me on there. It turns out that there are TONS of videos of exactly this on sites such as p0rnhub and heavy fetish .com.
For example:
* “Hard belt spanking for cheating” (porn hub)
* “Spanked to Tears with the Bathbrush - Real Tears for Letting Him Down” (porn hub)
* “Hard paddle spanking in the principal's office” (porn hub)
* “SPANK CHINA - Hua’s first spanking session”, (heavy fetish)
* "Spanking Jane" (heavy fetish)
I tried putting the links in but reddit flagged my post so if you’re really curious just search by title and website
These videos appear on the same site as stuff like real hardcore BDSM stuff like electrocution torture and people in cages, tied in the air and having their genitals electrocuted. Basically real torture like in this video: "WIRED PUSSY - Sandra Romain andSara Scott" (heavy fetish)
And then you realize, "oh, if they filmed what they did, it would be child p0rn_".
18 U.S. Code § 2256:

1. ‘child porn0graphy’ means any visual depiction, including any photograph, film, video, picture, or computer or computer-generated image or picture, whether made or produced by electronic, mechanical, or other means, of sexually explicit conduct, where- the production of such visual depiction involves the use of a minor engaging in sexually explicit conduct; such visual depiction is a digital image, computer image, or computer-generated image that is, or is indistinguishable from, that of a minor engaging in sexually explicit conduct; or such visual depiction has been created, adapted, or modified to appear that an identifiable minor is engaging in sexually explicit conduct.”
   
2. sexually explicit conduct” means actual or simulated—
   
3. sexual intercourse, including genital-genital, oral-genital, anal-genital, or oral-anal, whether between persons of the same or opposite sex;
   
4. bestiality;
   
5. masturbation;
   
6. sadistic or masochistic abuse; or
   
7. lascivious exhibition of the anus, genitals, or pubic area of any person;
   

TORTURE

The next shoe to drop was when I read the legal definitions of torture.
Torture is defined as “the infliction of intense pain (as from burning, crushing, or wounding) to punish, coerce, or afford sadistic pleasure”. -Merriam Webster
The U.N. Convention against Torture and Other Cruel, Inhuman or Degrading Treatment or Punishment says:
“For the purposes of this Convention, the term ‘torture’ means any act by which severe pain or suffering, whether physical or mental, is intentionally inflicted on a person for such purposes as obtaining from him or a third person information or a confession, punishing him for an act he or a third person has committed or is suspected of having committed, or intimidating or coercing him or a third person, or for any reason based on discrimination of any kind, when such pain or suffering is inflicted by or at the instigation of or with the consent or acquiescence of a public official or other person acting in an official capacity.”
The U.S. Federal torture 18 U.S. Code § 2340 says,
"'torture' means an act committed by a person acting under the color of law specifically intended to inflict severe physical or mental pain or suffering (other than pain or suffering incidental to lawful sanctions) upon another person within his custody or physical control"
The study “Child Torture as a Form of Child Abuse” from University of Wisconsin School ofMedicine and appearing in the Journal of Child & Adolescent Trauma states:

1. "Child torture is defined medically as...At least two physical assaults, occurring over at least two incidents or a single extended incident, which would cause prolonged physical pain, emotional distress, bodily injury, or death... And...
   
2. At least two elements of psychological abuse such as isolation, intimidation, emotional/psychological maltreatment, terrorizing, spurning, or deprivation...
   
3. Inflicted by the child’s caretaker(s)”
   

It also says:
* “Stover and Nightingale (1985) state: The purpose of torture is to break the will of thevictim and ultimately to break his or her humanity...through infliction of severe or acute physical pain and mental suffering...and requires that the torturer exert physical control over his or her victim. (p. 4–5)”
* “Campbell (2007) adds: ‘The act of torture is carried out for the purpose of physically and psychologically ‘breaking’ an individual’ (p. 633).’”
* “PTSD is the most commonly diagnosed psychological disorder among adult torture victims (Allodi and Cowgill 1982; Herman 1992). In addition to torture, polyvictimization has been recognized to be associated with worse mental health outcomes in child abuse victims (Finkelhor et al. 2011). By definition, all of \[the study participants\] have suffered polyvictimization as defined by Finkelhor.”
See [https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s40653-016-0108-x\](https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s40653-016-0108-x)

GRANDFATHER MANDATORY REPORTER

Also, in this fucked up land of fucking crazy shit, I realized that my grandfather, who we saw all the time, was a mandatory reporter THIS WHOLE TIME. He also had a masters in Psychology, so that's extra WTF.

DAD MENTAL HEALTH COUNSELOR

Another wild thing is that my dad just got his masters in counseling (christian counseling ofc) and is now working as a mental health care provider.

CONCLUSION

I was just diagnosed with Chronic PTSD a few weeks ago and have been out of work on treatment ever since.
But basically none of this feels real to me. I find it interesting in a sort of detached way that every time I detail what my childhood was like, they're shocked and appalled. I could see the female detective's eyes tearing up a bit. But I suppose it shouldn't be so surprising. After all, they put my sibling in the psych hospital 3x before the age of 18.
Please let me know what you all think. One of the silver linings on all this is because of my time in the military, I can get a free PTSD service dog which I'm excited for.
The crazy thing is that one of the counselors in the PTSD program is a former cop and sex crimes investigator and even he was shocked by how bad this whole thing is. So that's my life right now. :)
TLDR: Parents in child abuse cult; did S&M acts on us as kids; police investigating.

TW//Sexual Abuse//Physical Violence

Hi All, I'm a male between ages 20 and 30.
I'm writing this after I drove down to the police station this morning and reported my parents for sex crimes against children, so this is all very fresh in my mind so it will be a long post.

BACKGROUND: CHILD ABUSE CULT

When I say cult, I don't mean a cult in the sense of David Koresh compound style cult, I mean more so in mindset and fringe religious practices. My parents believed in the doctrine called "mortification of the flesh", which basically states that people are born evil, and to make them not evil, you have to hit them. See [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Discipline\\\_(instrument\\\_of\\\_penance)\](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Discipline\_(instrument\_of\_penance))
My parents are extremist fundamentalist Christians. My dad was basically a pastor, and my mom "home schooled" us. When I say home school, I'm being very generous on the school part. They were part of the Quiverful evangelical home school movement and held to the teachings of people like Jonathan Lindvall, Dough Philips, Tedd Tripp, Mike and Debbie Pearl, Stan and Brenna Jones, and Dennis and Barbra Rainey, among others.
Basically, I have 100% proof my parents were using these books on me.

TEACHINGS OF TEDD TRIPP

The teachings of Tedd Tripp are certifiably insane. I'll provide several quotes here from his book, "Shepherding a Child's Heart":
* "Spanking is most effective in dealing with young children. They fear being spanked. The spanking gives weight to your words. The spanking sobers and humbles the child. As children get older they get more stoic about spanking. They learn how to deal with it. The intensity of spanking required to make the same impression on a 12-year-old that you make on a 2-year-old would be excessive.”
* “Remove his drawers so that the spanking is not lost in the padding of his pants.... It is best to lay the child across your lap rather than over a bed or a chair. This puts the spanking in the context of your physical relationship. He is not being removed from you to a neutral object for the purpose of being disciplined.”
* “I have witnessed spankings administered through a double layer of diapers to a child who never stopped moving long enough to know he had been spanked. The spanking was ineffective because the parents never made the rod felt.”
* “When your child is old enough to resist your directives, he is old enough to be disciplined. When he is resisting you, he is disobeying. If you fail to respond, those rebellious responses become entrenched. The longer you put off disciplining, the more intractable the disobedience will become.”
* “Rebellion can be something as simple as a small child struggling against a diaper change or stiffening his body when you want him to sit on your lap. The discipline procedure is the same as that which is laid out above. You have no way of knowing how much a child less than a year old can understand, but we do know that understanding comes long before the ability to articulate. Your temptation will be to wait until your children are speaking and able to articulate their rebellion before you deal with it.”
* “When our oldest child was approximately 8 months old, we were confronted with parenting our first mobile child. He crawled everywhere. We had a bookshelf constructed of boards and bricks. Fearing the shelf would fall on him, Margy told him not to pull himself up by the shelf. After moving him away from the shelf, she left the room. As she peeked in on him, she observed him surveying the room. Not seeing her, he headed back toward the forbidden bookshelf. Here was a young child, not yet able to walk or to talk, looking to see if the coast was clear so he could disobey. Obviously, he was old enough to be disciplined.”
* “After you have spanked, take the child up on your lap and hug him, telling him how much you love him...On some occasions I have had to say to our children: ‘Dear, Daddy has spanked you, but you are not sweet enough yet. We are going to have to go back upstairs for another spanking.’”
Tedd tripp said in an interview on desiringgod: “But what is the purpose of it? I think spanking is most effective with younger children. Spanking gets their attention. It gives weight to your words. It humbles them. They want to avoid it. And it becomes very effective, particularly with little children where you can’t really reason with them, and they are not capable of complex reasoning.... So I think that it is indispensable in those early years particularly.”

MIKE AND DEBBIE PEARL:

The book, "To Train Up a Child" is also particularly nasty, and 1994 edition especially so. In the 2015 version, they tried to smooth over some of the more abusive passages because parents were hitting their kids to death and they were using this book.
The book emphasizes the doctrine of the mortification of the flesh, stating:
* “A spanking (whipping, paddling, switching, or belting) is in-dispensable to the removal of guilt in your child. His very conscience (nature) demands punishment.”
* “If God’s love is expressed by the ‘whippings’ He gives, then can we not also love our children enough to chasten them unto holiness?”
* “The very nature of the child makes the rod an indispensable element in child training and discipline....“They go astray as soon as they be born, speaking lies” (Psalm 58:3).”
More messed up stuff includes:
* The opening line of this book states, “SWITCH YOUR KIDS”
* “Training does not necessarily require that the trainee be capable of reason; even mice and rats can be trained to respond to stimuli. Careful training can make a dog perfectly obedient. If a seeing-eye dog can be trained to reliably lead a blind man through the obstacles of a city street, shouldn’t a parent expect more out of an intelligent child? A dog can be trained not to touch a tasty morsel laid in front of him. Can’t a child be trained not to touch?”
* “A dog can be trained to come, stay, sit, be quiet or fetch upon command. You may not have trained your dog that well, yet every day someone accomplishes it on the dumbest mutts. Even a clumsy teenager can be trained to be an effective trainer in a dog obedience school. If you wait until your dog is displaying unacceptable behavior before you rebuke (or kick) him, you will have a foot-shy mutt who is always sulking around seeing what he can get away with before being screamed at.”
* “Where there is an absence of training, you can no more rebuke and whip a child into acceptable behavior than you can the family dog. No amount of discipline can make up for lack of training.”
* “Proper training always works on every child. To neglect training is to create miserable circumstances for yourself and your child. Out of innocent ignorance many of you have bypassed the training and expected the discipline alone to effect proper behavior.”
* “There is much satisfaction in training up a child. It is easy and challenging. When my children were able to crawl (in the case of one, roll) around the room, I set up training sessions. Try it yourself. Place an appealing object where they can reach it, maybe in a ‘No- no’ corner or on an apple juice table (That’s where the coffee table once sat). When they spy it and make a dive for it, in a calm voice say, "No, don’t touch it." They will already be familiar with the ‘No,’ so they will pause, look at you in wonder and then turn around and grab it. Switch their hand once and simultaneously say, ‘No.’”
* “Remember, you are not disciplining, you are training. One spat with a little switch is enough. They will again pull back their hand and consider the relationship between the object, their desire, the command and the little reinforcing pain. It may take several times, but if you are consistent, they will learn to consistently obey, even in your absence.”
* “As the mother, holding her child, leans over the crib and begins the swing downward, the infant stiffens, takes a deep breath and bellows. The battle for control has begun in earnest. Someone is going to be conditioned. Either the tender-hearted mother will cave-in to this self-centered demand (thus training the child to get his way by crying) or the infant is allowed to cry (learning that crying is counterproductive).”
Further evidence of the abusive nature of Mike & Debbie Pearl’s teachings is found in a video clip of Mike Pearl speaking at a seminar, demonstrating with a child doll, where he stated, “I'm gonna get this rod if he screams too hard with the first five \[and\] gets hysterical... wait... you know a little psychological terror sometimes more effective than the pain.”
See [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wt0QOKbEj7A\](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wt0QOKbEj7A) for a solid video by the channel Fundie Fridays on the Pearls.
Furthermore, Mike Pearl has explicitly justified domestic violence. In the book, “Created to be His Help Meet” by Debbie Pearl, described on the cover page as a guide to “Discover how God can make your marriage glorious”, Mike Pearl writes a section explicitly advocates for women to endure domestic violence:
* “Has your husband reviled you and threatened you? You are exhorted to respond as Jesus did. When he was reviled and threatened, he suffered by committing himself to a higher judge who is righteous. You must commit yourself to the one who placed you under your husband’s command."
* “Your husband will answer to God, and you must answer to God for how you respond to your husband, even when he causes you to suffer. Just as we are to obey government in every ordinance, and servants are to obey their masters, even the ones who are abusive and surly, ‘likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands’...”
* “You can freely call your husband ‘lord’ when you know that you are addressing the one who put him in charge and asked you to suffer at your husband’s hands just as our Lord suffered at the hands of unjust authorities...”
* “When you endure evil and railing without returning it, you receive a blessing, not just as a martyr, but as one who worships God.”
The Seattle times actually wrote about the Pearls and their book: [https://www.seattletimes.com/seattle-news/did-hanas-parents-train-her-to-death/\](https://www.seattletimes.com/seattle-news/did-hanas-parents-train-her-to-death/)
* “‘It’s truly an evil book,’ said Michael Ramsey, the district attorney for Butte County, Calif.Ramsey successfully prosecuted Kevin and Elizabeth Schatz for hitting their daughter Lydia to death in Paradise, Calif., in 2006 with a plastic plumbing-supply tube — the kind the Pearls mention in an article on their website called ‘In Defense of Biblical Chastisement.’”
* “In Washington state, the death of Hana Williams marked the third time the Pearls’ names and their book have surfaced after the death of a child....”
* “Pearl encourages parents to think of the switch as a ‘magic wand’ and says teaching a child to obey is like training an animal: ‘A dog can be trained not to touch a tasty morsel laid in front of him. Can’t a child be trained not to touch?’”

JAMES DOBSON & FOCUS ON THE FAMILY

James Dobson is the founder of the religious organization and lobbying group Focus on the Family.
Here's a video of Dobson with Ronald Reagan in the Oval Office of the White House: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4hGZvawO1V8
The first chapter of his book, the New Strong Willed Child, describes Dobson beating his dog:
“He was a stubborn, twelve-pound dachshund named Sigmund Freud (Siggie), who honestly believed that he owned the place.... On the night of our great battle, I told Sigmund to leave his warm seat and go to bed. Instead, he flattened his ears and slowly turned his head toward me.... That was Siggie’s way of saying, “Get lost!”
I had seen this defiant mood before and knew that I had to deal with it. The only way to make Siggie obey was to threaten him with destruction. Nothing else worked. I turned and went to my closet and got a small belt to help me “reason” with ’ol Sig. My wife, who was watching this drama unfold, told me that as soon as I left the room, Siggie jumped from his perch and looked down the hall to see where I had gone. Then he got behind her and growled....
When I returned, I held up the belt and again told the angry dog to get into his bed. He stood his ground so I gave him a firm swat across the rear end, and he tried to bite the belt. I popped him again and he tried to bite me. What developed next is impossible to describe.
That tiny dog and I had the most vicious fight ever staged between man and beast. I fought him up one wall and down the other, with both of us scratching and clawing and growling. I am still embarrassed by the memory of the entire scene. Inch by inch I moved him toward the family room and his bed...
This is not a book about the discipline of dogs. But there is an important aspect of my story that is highly relevant to the world of children. Just as surely as a dog will occasionally challenge the authority of his leaders, a child is inclined to do the same thing, only more so.”

JONATHAN LINDVALL & BOLD CHRISTIAN PARENTING

My parents would play tapes of Jonathan Lindvall when we went on road trips. He advocated for a radical evangelical homeschool lifestyle, social isolation of children from other “worldly” children, having as many children as possible regardless of financial means, explicitly denounced the socialization of children, and stated that children’s education should focus primarily on the Bible.
I couldn't find the actual tapes they played but I found his old website: [https://web.archive.org/web/20120829030118/http://boldchristianliving.com/\](https://web.archive.org/web/20120829030118/http://boldchristianliving.com/)
Some outstanding bits include:
* “We all want our children to have the skills and disciplines to provide for their familiessome day. But job preparation is similarly not worthy as a primary goal of homeschooling. Jesus explicitly warned us not to be concerned with how our food and clothing are supplied (Matt. 6:19-34). This, in fact, is the context in which he called us to ‘seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness.’”
* “There are many desirable, God-pleasing results likely to come from our obedience to God in choosing to personally disciple our children. But no matter how good they are, if they are the focus, rather than our aim being to bring Jesus pleasure, they can become idols for us. Many homeschoolers have become enamored with the vision of the long-term societal (political/economic) impact our practices can have. May the Lord bring all this about, but may our hearts be set on Him more than on the impact we can have.”
* “Another objection virtually every homeschooler in western society has been confronted by is the ‘socialization’ question. In our society is assumed to be essential for children to spend time with peers to be properly adjusted. Yet the preponderance of scripture cautions from the opposite perspective. Proverbs 12:26 warns, ‘The righteous should choose his friends carefully, For the way of the wicked leads them astray.’ Proverbs 13:20 is even more pointed, saying, ‘He who walks with wise men will be wise, But the companion of fools will be destroyed.’ Paul was apparently quoting an accepted proverb at the time when he wrote, ‘Do not be deceived: ‘Evil company corrupts good habits’’ (1 Cor. 15:33).”
* “No doubt the Lord wants our children to learn to benefit from edifying fellowship, just as He wants this for us. However, positive social skills are generally not learned from children. God intends for fathers (not peers) to shape their children’s values and tendencies ‘in the training and admonition of the Lord’ (Eph. 6:4). This requires protecting our children from peer domination, and instead structuring our family lifestyles to facilitate intense, intimate relationship between our children and ourselves.”
* “Sadly, perhaps as a result of the world’s challenges regarding ‘socialization,’ many homeschoolers feel pressure to provide settings where their children can spend large amounts of time with peers. Thus, over the years we have seen homeschool support groups move from supporting the parents to supporting the children with extra-familial activities like sports teams, group music experiences, and cooperative classes. There are probably times when it is appropriate to expose our families to teaching situations where the parents are not necessarily doing all the teaching, but it is a significant danger to fall into the habit of exposing our children to the addictive peer group influences.”
• “Virtually every homeschool parent will easily identify the most frequently asked question about their homeschooling as, ‘What about socialization?’ When people ask this question, what are they wondering about? Are they worried that our children will not be capable of displaying lifelong servanthood for the glory of God? Generally not. They are shocked that we are not intimidated at the thought of our children being different from everyone else.”
• “Socialism is the attempt to equalize everyone--make everyone alike. But God didn't make us alike. He made each of us, including our children, to be unique. And we are not to minimize, but maximize our distinctives for the glory of God. We are not to try to mask our uniqueness beneath a facade of timid conformity. We are to SHINE! Jesus said (Mat 5:16), ‘Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven.’”

STAN AND BRENNA JONES

First of all, this dude 100% looks like a pedo: [https://www.christiansexed.com/about-the-authors/\](https://www.christiansexed.com/about-the-authors/)
Their book, “What’s the Big Deal: Why God cares about sex” identifies as a christian sex education book for children as young as age 8. The cover of the book states, “Ages 8-12”.
The book states in the introduction, “We believe that God means for Christian parents to be their children’s primary sex educators. First messages are the most powerful-why wait until your child hears distorted views and then try to correct the misunderstanding? Sexuality is a beautiful gift-why not present it to your child the way God intended?”.
This book contains passages explicitly describing:
* How pleasurable sex is;
* The location and pleasurability of the clitoris;
* The sensitivity of the penis to pleasure
* What porn is and where it's found
* What rape porn is
* What sex slavery is
* Explicit descriptions of orgasms, including describing them as a sudden burst of pleasure
My dad read me this book when I was 8, 3rd grade.
TEDD TRIPP & BDSM P0RN SITES
What really got me thinking about this was the fact that in my state, the statute of limitations to sue in civil court for assault and battery was up, however the statute of limitations on sexual abuse was not.
So obviously all of this stuff is pretty messed up. But what takes it to the next level of messed up and makes what they did a sex crime (I'm hoping the DA sees it the same way), is when you really look at what Tedd Tripp advocates parents do to their children:
“Remove his drawers so that the spanking is not lost in the padding of his pants.... It is best to lay the child across your lap rather than over a bed or a chair. This puts the spanking in the context of your physical relationship. He is not being removed from you to a neutral object for the purpose of being disciplined.”
Which basically means:
* Take off the child's clothes
* Place them on your lap, fully or partially naked
* Strike them with what could legally be classified as a deadly weapon
So I started thinking about how spanking is a BDSM kink and fetish. Which was weird to think about in the context of what your parents did to you.
Then I thought, well damn there are tons of BDSM p0rn sites, there have to be some with what happened to me on there. It turns out that there are TONS of videos of exactly this on sites such as p0rnhub and heavy fetish .com.
For example:
* “Hard belt spanking for cheating” (porn hub)
* “Spanked to Tears with the Bathbrush - Real Tears for Letting Him Down” (porn hub)
* “Hard paddle spanking in the principal's office” (porn hub)
* “SPANK CHINA - Hua’s first spanking session”, (heavy fetish)
* "Spanking Jane" (heavy fetish)
I tried putting the links in but reddit flagged my post so if you’re really curious just search by title and website
These videos appear on the same site as stuff like real hardcore BDSM stuff like electrocution torture and people in cages, tied in the air and having their genitals electrocuted. Basically real torture like in this video: "WIRED PUSSY - Sandra Romain andSara Scott" (heavy fetish)
And then you realize, "oh, if they filmed what they did, it would be child p0rn_".
18 U.S. Code § 2256:

1. ‘child porn0graphy’ means any visual depiction, including any photograph, film, video, picture, or computer or computer-generated image or picture, whether made or produced by electronic, mechanical, or other means, of sexually explicit conduct, where- the production of such visual depiction involves the use of a minor engaging in sexually explicit conduct; such visual depiction is a digital image, computer image, or computer-generated image that is, or is indistinguishable from, that of a minor engaging in sexually explicit conduct; or such visual depiction has been created, adapted, or modified to appear that an identifiable minor is engaging in sexually explicit conduct.”
2. sexually explicit conduct” means actual or simulated—
3. sexual intercourse, including genital-genital, oral-genital, anal-genital, or oral-anal, whether between persons of the same or opposite sex;
4. bestiality;
5. masturbation;
6. sadistic or masochistic abuse; or
7. lascivious exhibition of the anus, genitals, or pubic area of any person;

TORTURE

The next shoe to drop was when I read the legal definitions of torture.
Torture is defined as “the infliction of intense pain (as from burning, crushing, or wounding) to punish, coerce, or afford sadistic pleasure”. -Merriam Webster
The U.N. Convention against Torture and Other Cruel, Inhuman or Degrading Treatment or Punishment says:
“For the purposes of this Convention, the term ‘torture’ means any act by which severe pain or suffering, whether physical or mental, is intentionally inflicted on a person for such purposes as obtaining from him or a third person information or a confession, punishing him for an act he or a third person has committed or is suspected of having committed, or intimidating or coercing him or a third person, or for any reason based on discrimination of any kind, when such pain or suffering is inflicted by or at the instigation of or with the consent or acquiescence of a public official or other person acting in an official capacity.”
The U.S. Federal torture 18 U.S. Code § 2340 says,
"'torture' means an act committed by a person acting under the color of law specifically intended to inflict severe physical or mental pain or suffering (other than pain or suffering incidental to lawful sanctions) upon another person within his custody or physical control"
The study “Child Torture as a Form of Child Abuse” from University of Wisconsin School ofMedicine and appearing in the Journal of Child & Adolescent Trauma states:

1. "Child torture is defined medically as...At least two physical assaults, occurring over at least two incidents or a single extended incident, which would cause prolonged physical pain, emotional distress, bodily injury, or death... And...
2. At least two elements of psychological abuse such as isolation, intimidation, emotional/psychological maltreatment, terrorizing, spurning, or deprivation...
3. Inflicted by the child’s caretaker(s)”

It also says:
* “Stover and Nightingale (1985) state: The purpose of torture is to break the will of thevictim and ultimately to break his or her humanity...through infliction of severe or acute physical pain and mental suffering...and requires that the torturer exert physical control over his or her victim. (p. 4–5)”
* “Campbell (2007) adds: ‘The act of torture is carried out for the purpose of physically and psychologically ‘breaking’ an individual’ (p. 633).’”
* “PTSD is the most commonly diagnosed psychological disorder among adult torture victims (Allodi and Cowgill 1982; Herman 1992). In addition to torture, polyvictimization has been recognized to be associated with worse mental health outcomes in child abuse victims (Finkelhor et al. 2011). By definition, all of \[the study participants\] have suffered polyvictimization as defined by Finkelhor.”
See [https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s40653-016-0108-x\](https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s40653-016-0108-x)

GRANDFATHER MANDATORY REPORTER

Also, in this fucked up land of fucking crazy shit, I realized that my grandfather, who we saw all the time, was a mandatory reporter THIS WHOLE TIME. He also had a masters in Psychology, so that's extra WTF.

DAD MENTAL HEALTH COUNSELOR

Another wild thing is that my dad just got his masters in counseling (christian counseling ofc) and is now working as a mental health care provider.

CONCLUSION

I was just diagnosed with Chronic PTSD a few weeks ago and have been out of work on treatment ever since.
But basically none of this feels real to me. I find it interesting in a sort of detached way that every time I detail what my childhood was like, they're shocked and appalled. I could see the female detective's eyes tearing up a bit. But I suppose it shouldn't be so surprising. After all, they put my sibling in the psych hospital 3x before the age of 18.
Please let me know what you all think. One of the silver linings on all this is because of my time in the military, I can get a free PTSD service dog which I'm excited for.
But the thing that finally made me realize this should be referred to the police was that one of the counselors in the PTSD program is a former cop and sex crimes investigator and was shocked by this whole thing. So that's my life right now. :)
TLDR: Parents in child abuse cult; did S&M acts on us as kids; police investigating.

Author's notes: I just realized I haven't really been updating this story here. I'm currently up to chapter 6, so I'll try to post a chapter every weekend until I get caught up. If you haven't heard of this story before click here to go to the start of it on reddit.
Or read it here https://archiveofourown.org/works/39895998/chapters/99895653 if you want a different format.
—
Chapter 3
"I still can't believe you're going through with this," Josh said, a touch of concern in his voice.
"Not like I can change my mind now, especially after I got a week off to adjust," I responded.
"What did you even do all week?" He asked.
"Oh you know, the usual: Video games, anime, and shitposting."
"Jeez dude, and I thought I was a shut-in."
"I get out, I walked around in a park with Sammy."
"Yeah, one time in a whole week. That's not healthy."
"At least my room is clean."
"Shut up."
Ray butted in. "Look man, I get that you want to move on from Sammy, but this is too much. You're not gonna be online during the week anymore. You shoulda just taken a few days off instead."
"That wouldn't've been enough, and I'll still be online, just only for a couple hours before work. I'll be online on the weekends too."
I heard Dan sigh. "He's changing his scenery, Ray. It's perfectly normal to do that after you have a breakup."
"I still say it's actually because he secretly wants to hook up with that viper chick. Getting it on with your alien war criminal coworker isn't gonna help you forget, Vince." Ray said.
"Ok Ray. First off, I barely know that broad; second, she might not even be a war criminal; and third... uhhh, FUCK - YOU."
He chuckled. "You sound angry, bro, is it because you know I'm right?"
"Look, from what I've seen and heard: I'd sooner put in an anonymous tip to Xcom about her, than take her to dinner and pork her afterwards."
"So you've thought about it?"
"I have n—"
Josh jumped back into the conversation. "Hey, I heard you can get paid for tipping off Xcom to war criminals. Maybe if she's really bad, they'll give you a medal for it too."
"Yea, I could, but they'd be paying me with those physical X-credit things, and what the hell would I do with those?"
Dan answered my question as usual. "You could trade them in at any bank in the city. X-credits are leagues more valuable than shillings, they're backed by Xcom's resources, manpower, and technology.
"That's cool, I don't care about the money, but I'd turn her in to get Ray to shut up."
Ray laughed. "Suit yourself bro, more snussy for me."
"You'd have to visit her in jail if I turned her in. Maybe while I'm at it, I'll turn you in too."
"Hey, if she's my cellmate, I'm game."
Josh laughed. "Nah, you'd probably get paired up with the male muton that likes to rape people, if you're lucky. It'd probably be something even worse."
Ray was silent for a few moments before saying. "Bruh."
I saw my chance to exit. "You know, as interesting as this conversation is, I gotta be to work soon, so I'll catch you guys tomorrow."
Everyone said their goodbyes.
Ray added. "Try to not get killed by the snake." To the end of his goodbye.
"Like I said, I'm just gonna avoid her. I'm sure it'll be fine."
Ray chuckled. "Hope so, brotha."
After I said goodbye once again, I logged out of the group chat, and loaded up #chan on my web browser. I still had a few more minutes and I wanted to see what people were posting in the xenophilia thread before I left.
Despite aliens being on earth for some time now, being interested in them was still niche and there were not many places to discuss it that tolerated it. My friends were cool with it, maybe a little too cool with it, but xenophilia as of now was really only prominent on the net. Space Banditz is a recent example of a company trying to stir the pot, but that didn't happen too often. Can't recall the last time I saw a human even hanging out with an alien in public. Not that there were many in this city; we outnumbered them. I scrolled through and looked at what people were posting. Some posts were arguing about anatomy, other people were asking for alien dating advice, and others were discussing media related to aliens. A couple drawings were posted, one was a tastefully drawn viper. She was on her back laying over the edge of a bed, her feminine features were not drawn not too thick, it focused instead on highlighting her lithe serpentine body's form by having it curve at tight irregular angles, forming a casual sprawl. It was posted somewhat recently, so I replied "tfw no viper gf that hogs your entire bed," to it.
I scrolled down a bit further and saw something surprising. It was a picture of a viper's scaly hand with the tip of her tail draped over her wrist. A piece of paper was next to her hand too, it had today's date and "hi /xeno/" written on it. The text on the post read "I just found this thread, I didn't know humans like this existed. I'll answer any questions about vipers you have." Occasionally aliens would make posts like this, and while it was a treat, it was strange to be reminded that aliens were browsing this thread. This post was only thirteen minutes old, but it already had a ton of responses. The first one was, "tits or gtfo", which made me chuckle. I love this community. There was a response to it, so I clicked it, and was taken to a picture of bare viper breasts with the same paper timestamp as the hand image. She was using one of her forearms to lift up her breasts slightly. They were shapely, with cream-colored scaled plates running down them, flanked by her orange diamond scaled shoulders. While viper's breasts didn't have nipples, I know I'm not the only one who still enjoyed looking at them. The text on that post was "alright. now ask me some questions"
Real lewd images of aliens were hard to come by, even online. They were borderline illegal due to the circumstances aliens lived in. I know a lot of them are in desperate situations, so if someone were to flash some cash to get them to show off some gash, or whatever people wanted to see, it would be hard for them to say no. For that reason, I mostly stuck to drawings to get my kicks. It's hard to enjoy a picture when all you can think about is whether or not the girl in it is doing alright. However, in this case, I didn't feel bad, she wasn't being paid to be here, and was clearly enjoying all the attention.
People asked her mostly joke questions, stuff like: "how far can you squirt (venom)", and "Post a picture of your throat," but, there were a few genuine ones. She responded to all of them. I replied to her post and asked her "what's the quickest way to a viper's heart?" When I hit send, my pulse quickened.
After a few moments, I got a response. "I can't speak for all vipers, but treat her like you would treat a human girl. Get to know her, listen to her, give her food she likes. And most of all, be a good friend to her. Friends are not something all of us have."
About what I expected, but it was reassuring to hear it from the horse's mouth. It's too bad I had to go to work now, I'd like to ask more questions, but maybe some of mine would be asked by other people when I check back later. Not like it mattered anyway, I don't know any Vipers.
It was on the cusp of being dark when I walked to work, and a brisk wind blew. It took even less time to walk to work because not many people were driving this late. When I got to McDougalls and stepped inside the building it was like a breath of fresh air. It was almost quiet, there were only a few people in the dining area, and there weren't people clamoring for the counter to get their orders taken.
I'm liking this already.
There was a tall guy manning the counter, he had a short dirty blonde mop on top of his head, and he looked older than me, but that might be because he looked tired. His dull grey eyes shifted in my direction, as I walked up to the counter. "Wuz up? Are you the new night shifter?"
"Yea, that's me. The name's Vince. Who are you?"
"Ash, well, my name is Ashley, but call me Ash."
"Alright. Is, uh, Mark here? He was supposed to go over some training with me and introduce me to everyone."
"Oh yeah, he left tonight in a hurry, had something important to do, short notice. Told me to tell you he was sorry. But don't worry, he put me in charge of showing you around. Clock in and I'll introduce you to the crew."
As I walked around the counter and clocked in, he asked me another question. "So how new are you, exactly. Mark wasn't too clear before he left."
"I've worked here for a few weeks."
He sighed happily. "Oh thank God, I thought you were, like, brand - new. So what do you know?"
"I can take orders and work the ice cream machine."
He snapped his fingers and frowned. "Damn, that sucks. Oh well, we'll have to train you on the fryer."
I wasn't scared of the fryer, but I was confused. "What do you mean? Can't you just work the fryer?"
He nodded. "I can, but the grease makes my acne flare up, so I avoid it." He crossed his arms and gestured to the air. "We all sorta work the same spot every night, makes things easier around here. Sometimes Carlos and Tay switch jobs, but I'm always up front. Derek, the dude you're replacing, was our fry guy." Hearing the name Tay made my mind flinch, I knew somewhere back in the kitchen she was working, and I was dreading running into her. A part of me was still trying to pretend she wasn't gonna be here.
"That's fine by me, but I've never worked a fryer before."
He chuckled. "Don't worry about it. Tay can teach you, she's a master at everything in the kitchen, and we don't get as much business as day shift."
Oh fuck. Why does she have to be the one to teach me? What if she recognizes me? I doubt she'd even want to teach me or anyone else anything. Ash seemed confident when he said that. Maybe he's an idiot?
"Speaking of which, I'll introduce you to Tay and Carlos."
He walked towards the kitchen and gestured for me to follow. As I followed him, I braced myself for whatever came next.
Next to the grill was Tay, the pale viper I saw by the dumpster. She was leaning back against a stainless steel counter with her arms crossed, staring at the floor and tapping a claw against her elbow impatiently.
After standing there for a few moments, Ash said something to get her attention. "Yo, Tay, this is the new guy."
Her eyes darted to him and then to me. She held her gaze on me, I felt my pulse quicken. Fuck, shit, - fuck. What are the chances she remembers me? How many people has she pissed off? I hope that I was just one more dude that made her upset and that she didn't bother to remember me or my name. I didn't see any emotion in her eyes and breathed a little easier when she looked back at Ash. "Don't care."
Ash chuckled. "You should, he's gonna take over fries for you."
That caught her attention. "Yeah? He looks like he doesn't know his ass from a hole in the ground." She gestured to me and to the ground before recrossing her arms.
"Be chill, of course he doesn't know, he's new and most people don't work with fryers at home."
"Hu, huh. So you're gonna train him?" The way she said that was more of a command than a question.
"You know I am not going anywhere near those things. You'd do a better job than me anyway, I know you've trained people before."
She furrowed her brow and leaned her head forward. "Not gonna happen, Ash-ley."
Ash had been chill up to this point, but now he had a serious look on his face. "Look, just train him on this one thing, or I'll tell the witch about all your extra long smoke breaks."
Upon hearing that her confident composure broke and she let out a guttural sigh. "Ugggh, - fine. You're a dick." She threw her hands up in the air and pointed at him.
"Takes one to know one, Tay. Thank you."
She snorted in response and turned her attention to the grill. She muttered something under her breath, but I didn't catch what it was.
Ash continued walking, and as I followed, I looked back at Tay.
The grill had these press things that were pulled down on top of the burger patties to cook both sides at once. An alarm buzzed, and she lifted up the press to reveal some cooked burgers. She pulled a plastic gun from the top of the grill and squeezed the trigger a bunch to season the meat. Then she leaned over the grill to scoop up the burgers with a spatula and put them in a wax paper-lined plastic tray. As she did, the steam from the grill licked at her scaly face and soaked into the shirt covering her voluminous breasts.
Her eyes flicked in my direction when she picked up the tray and I immediately turned around to face forward. Ash took me back past the breakroom to the big sink. From around the corner, I could hear water spraying and see steam spraying out. When we got to its source, I saw a short brown guy, with short black hair, in an apron, washing a big pile of dishes, mostly spatulas, plastic buckets, and those plastic trays I saw Tay using. He had earbuds in and didn't even look in our direction.
"Hey! Carlos!" Ash yelled.
He continued to be completely absorbed in washing dishes. I could make out the music coming from his earbuds, it sounded electronic.
Ash laughed and looked at me. "Dude listens to dubstep at max volume, all - night. He has the hearing of an old man." After a moment he spoke the words "mute volume," clearly.
Carlos looked confused for a few seconds and turned to look at us. "Eh, - hey, hey. What's up Ash."
Ash gestured to me. "This is Vince, the new guy."
His confusion went away. "Ah, hello." He offered a hand for me to shake, but he was wearing a sopping-wet rubber glove covered with onion pieces. He noticed my hesitancy and took off the glove, and tried to shake my hand again.
I shook it. "Nice to meet you." Then I looked at Ash, "so, who's that witch you mentioned to Tay?"
Both Carlos and Ash looked surprised. Carlos spoke first. "Oh, you haven't met her yet? Count yourself lucky my man."
Ash chuckled. "She's the general manager for all the McDougalls in the city. Real bitch, no one likes her. When she comes around here it's all hands on deck and she gets up everyone's ass about something. But, you're on night shift now, so you won't see much of her; unless you have to fill in on a day shift, which will probably happen at some point."
"So, what? - You're saying I might see her?"
He rubbed his eyes. "Yeah, that's what I mean. Sorry, I'm more tired than usual today, woke up really late."
"Is it hard to sleep during the day?"
They both nodded and Ash responded. "Big time, first thing you should get is some blackout curtains."
"Ok. You know, I'm not really a morning person, maybe I won't have trouble sleeping?"
"You won't, at first," Carlos said. "There is what we call a honeymoon period on night shift. You start off fine, and for some people, it lasts for months and months, but sooner or later you'll be worn down like the rest of us."
Ash chimed in. "Besides Tay, she's the most awake out of all of us, most of the time. Probably because she's a non-human. She might actually be nocturnal, I've never worked up the nerve to ask her about it."
"You guys aren't giving me a lot of confidence."
Ash waved a hand dismissively. "Don't worry about it. Just have a cup of coffee before you come to work if you're tired. You'll make it to the end of the shift." He looked at Carlos. "We'll leave you to the dishes dude, have fun."
"You know I will."
Ash looked back at me. "Now, let's get you situated with Tay and the fryer." He must've been able to see the nervousness on my face because he said, "Don't let her get to you. Just do what she says and you'll be fine. Should be an easy night for you. Once you're comfortable with the fryer, I'll show you how to get orders ready and hand them out at the drive-thru window."
He led me back to the fryer and Tay, who was assembling sandwiches on the stainless steel counter across from the grill.
She glared at Ash as he walked up to her. "Alright, he's all yours Tay. Try not to break him." He chuckled as he walked to the front counter.
I was a castaway, and he pushed me overboard to swim with a shark because he couldn't be bothered to train me. Abandoned me to the one person I wanted to avoid. I felt someone's eyes bore a hole in the back of my head, so I turned to look at Tay.
Her hands were formed into fists and pressed into her hips, one was still holding a spatula. I was shorter than her, but that was only because vipers didn't have a set height. They could be as tall or as short as they wanted to be, so long as they kept their balance while moving.
I smiled sheepishly and clapped my hands together. "Ey, so, nice to meet ya. What do you, uh, want me to do?"
She didn't say anything and continued to stare. Her tongue flicked out a few times, and she squinted her eyes. "You seem… familiar. Have we spoken before?"
I wanted to look away from her eyes, but I couldn't, it was like I was caught in a trance. "Eh, I donno, maybe. It's a big place, a lotta people work here. We could've run into each other before."
She leaned her head in closer and flicked her tongue out a few times, inches from my face. "No, I know you."
"Ey, uh, mind backing up. You're in my personal bubble."
She backed away and was quiet for a few more moments before I saw recognition in her eyes. "I remember you. You were that retard that ate his lunch by the dumpster." She smirked. "You looked like you were ready to piss yourself when I left."
I had dreaded meeting her, and this exact scenario, but I wasn't about to take that sitting down. "Well yea, looking at sum'n as ugly as you tends to make a guy nervous."
She chuckled. "Oof ouch, my ego. If only I cared what a conformist faggot like you thought!"
I heard Ash yell from the front counter. "Hey! Let's keep it PG-13 in here dudes! We've got orders to finish, Tay!"
She looked up front and back at me. Still clearly upset, she pointed at a spot in front of the fryers. "Stand there two-legs, and don't move."
She was still being an ass, but if she was actually gonna train me, I'd cooperate. I walked over to the spot she pointed at. She slithered over to the counter across from the grill and got to work. Her movements were an impressive skillful blur of pure muscle memory. She pulled out boxes and paper wrappers and assembled the sandwiches from bottom to top: bun, meat, pickles, onions, and lettuce. To put on the sauce, she pulled out these things that looked like caulk guns and squirted them on the top buns before assembling the sandwiches completely. When she was done she slid them down the counter to a spot at the front where Ash could reach them.
After that, she slithered in front of me and started packing fries into fry boxes. The fry cooking area had two parts to it, the fryers, and next to the fryers was a counter with a deep depression to throw the fries in and salt them, and above the fries was a heat lamp and a shelf to set the fry boxes on.
After she set the filled boxes on the warming shelf, she looked at me. "Watch me, this is how you cook the fries."
She grabbed the metal fry baskets and shoved them into this dispenser thing in between the fryers and the grill. It filled both of the baskets with frozen fries. She set them in the grease that foamed up when she put them in. "These are gonna sit for like 5 minutes. It should be obvious when they're done, even a mongoloid could figure it out. They start floating, and then they look cooked."
"Ok," I said, to let her know I was paying attention.
"Don't - say anything. Just watch those fries. Burn the image of them cooking into your mind."
She went to the grill and started cooking more burgers. I did as she asked and watched the fries.
After a few minutes, she broke the silence. "How do the fries look?"
They were floating like she said, but I wasn't sure if they were cooked. "Eh, they - might be done."
She grumbled and slithered over to the fryers. "They're done." She pulled the fry baskets out and hooked them onto the top of the fryer. "You have to leave them like this for a second to let the grease drip off, then…" She unhooked the baskets, "give them a shake like this," and shook them, splattering droplets of grease back into the fryer.
After that, she dumped both baskets into the fry warmer."Salting them is easy. Grab the shaker thing, and turn it over once. It'll dispense all the salt you need for 2 baskets of fries." She demonstrated how to use the salt shaker, and stirred up the fries with the plastic spatula she used to fill the fry boxes. Once she finished, she gestured to the fries. "Try one." Again, what she said was more like a command than an offer.
I pulled one out and ate it. Crispy, salty, and potatoey. "It's good."
"I know. That's what they are supposed to taste like. Burn this into your memory too, if you ever think you fucked up, taste one, and if it doesn't taste like these do, you fucked up."
"I'll, eh, keep that in mind. Seems easy enough."
"Good. Not too much to take in? You want to try making some fries right now?"
"I, eh, I'd like to watch some more."
"Correct." She seemed satisfied with my answer. "Yes. You're going to watch me do this until I feel like you are ready. A grease fryer can scar a thin-skinned human like you for life." She seemed serious about this.
"You know, I worked construction. I'm not a complete idiot. I haven't killed myself in an accident yet."
She smirked. "Most humans believe they are not idiots; most of them are wrong. And from what I've seen of you so far, I'm playing it safe."
"If you're so smart, what's the Pythagorean theorem?"
For just a second, I saw her mask of confidence slip, a moment where her intelligence came into question and she didn't have a response. "Who cares, we're here to cook food. Not do math."
I stole the smirk from her face and put it on mine. "So, you don't know what it is then."
She put a claw to her chin and scratched. "Mmm, You know something about math that I don't, so what? Should I care, should I be impressed? You don't even know how to make fries yet."
Damn, she weaseled out and turned it back on me. "That's on you, not me."
She frowned. "And I have my work cut out for me." She paused for a moment in thought. "I would be impressed if you managed to hurt yourself filling fry boxes. You just watched me, pack these fry boxes. We need two mediums and a small."
"Ok." I grabbed the plastic spatula and looked at the boxes. "Ey, which is which size?"
She snorted. "If you back up, genius, you'll see the labels on the cabinet."
"Oh, yea." Using the spatula in the way she showed me, I filled the fry boxes. "How's that look, pretty good huh."
She inspected my work with the concentration of an accountant laundering money. "If I hated the customers, I would give them these; luckily for you, I do. Try harder next time."
"Alright, wise guy, what's wrong with them?"
She plucked one from the heating shelf and showed it to me, pointing at the fries with a clawed finger as she spoke. "For a start, they're mangled. These fries look like someone threw them down the stairs and scooped them back inside the box."
I couldn't argue with her assessment. "You told me to - pack - them in."
"Yes, and you shoved them in without care, you might as well have used your bare hand."
"Ok, I'll be more careful next time, anything else?"
"Nope, you managed to get the fries in the box. Rather impressive, you have exceeded my expectations."
I took that backhanded compliment in stride. "I aim to please."
She returned to her work and ignored me. A few hours passed as I filled fry boxes for her. I chatted with Ash about video games when there were lulls in the customers.
"…my crit build is awesome, dude. It almost feels like cheating." He said.
"I never thought out my build that much, it's an easy game when you're playing with a full party."
"Of course, it's easier, but you're not getting the real experience if you play with other people. It's really meant to be a single-player experience."
"Yea, but there's other characters in the world. It's not only you vs. everything, if you upgrade your shit you're using someone else's help."
"The game is balanced around that, but I'm not trying to argue. I'm saying you should make another character for a purely single-player experience, it makes it—" he stopped mid-sentence as a customer left the store. "Ugh, finally, hey can you help me move the trash cans?" He asked.
"Sure."
We walked over to the trash cans, which had a big laminate wood box around them, marked clearly as trash cans.
As I helped him push, I realized we were pushing it in front of one of the doors to the dining room. "Are we, uh, blocking the entrance to the dining room?"
He gave me a confused look. "Yeah, why… Oh, shit, you've never done this before. Yeah, we close the dining area after 9pm, or after everyone leaves the dining room. Trash can blockade make it clear to the morons that don't bother reading the signs, or care that the doors are locked."
"Ah, I getcha... So, how do we leave?"
"We use the back door." He said while we shoved the trash can in front of the door.
As we walked to the other one I asked him. "So you use the back door a lot?"
"Yeah, like every night, dude. That's where I go when I get off."
I chuckled. "I didn't take you for that kind of guy, but, ey, if your girlfriend is happy with it."
"Oh fuck—" he burst out laughing. "You got me good ."
After we finished I took my break. When I got back from my break, Tay was giving me a look. "We just ran out of fries, and you're gonna make the next batch."
"Uh, ok. If you think I'm ready."
"I don't, but I don't feel like making fries anymore."
"You know, eh, you're not a very encouraging teacher."
"I don't care what you think. Just do what I've shown you."
"Ooo-kay." I loaded the fries in the baskets and dunked them in the fryers.
She crossed her arms. "Now how long are those gonna cook for?"
"Five minutes."
"Good, let me know when you think they are ready."
I was worried about burning them and making myself look like an idiot more than anything; so, I waited until the fries were floating in the oil and looking crispy before I said anything.
"They're done," I said.
Tay finished putting burgers on the griddle before she came over. When she did, I took the fry baskets out, hooked them, waited, and shook them. Then I dumped them in the fry warmer and salted them.
"How are they?"
She pierced one with a claw and tossed it in her mouth. "They're undercooked, but I could tell that just from looking at them. You'll have to make a new batch."
"Can't I just throw them in the fryer again?"
She shook her head. "Nope, you salted them already. Dump them and make new ones."
"Alright, fine, whatever. But, why didn't you tell me they were undercooked if you knew?"
She smirked. "You didn't ask. Use this fuck up to help you remember to not undercook them again." She slithered back to the grill. "Let me know when your next batch is ready."
I didn't say anything and got to work making another batch. When they were finished and salted, I called her over to try one.
She swallowed one and after a few seconds gave her review. "These are passable, not perfect, but they won't make anyone feel sick. You can use these for the fry orders." She went back to assembling sandwiches.
"Ok." At least she didn't insult me, saved me the trouble of having to think of something to hurl back at her.
The rest of the night went smoothly, towards the end of my shift Carlos finished with the dishes and helped Tay assemble sandwiches. As the morning sun began to peak out on the horizon Ash and I had to move the trash cans back to where they were before. Soon after, morning shift people trickled in and it was time for me to go. My shift ended later than the others, and I said goodbye to Carlos and Ash as they left. When Tay left I said nothing to her, and she didn't even look at me as she left. When it was finally time for me to go, the sun was fully out from the horizon.
I shuffled to my locker and gathered my things before shuffling out the door and being blinded by the sun's piercing rays. Fuck, that felt like someone stabbed a needle in my eyes. I better remember to bring sunglasses tomorrow.
The sun beat down on me as I walked home. I felt like I was walking through the desert after a crash landing. I couldn't focus well and hoped no one would hit me with their car as I crossed the crosswalk. When I finally got home, I stripped off my clothes and collapsed into bed.
—
FirstPreviousNext

Here is the list of the currently 73 inmates executed by the state of Alabama that I wrote for my post Furman death penalty project. Alabama has set plans to carry out additional executions in the next few months, and this list might be reposted with the updated information if they happen as scheduled.
Something that should also be clarified is the dates given here are an approximate timeline of their earliest known criminal activities to their executions rather then time spent on death row. Many of the cases here are quite graphic by nature, and I don't shy away from it in my descriptions. Please read at your own risk.
The states I have left are Georgia, Florida, Missouri, Virginia, Oklahoma, and the still in progress Texas. I'll probably post my list for Georgia next whenever I have time next week.
The currently executed 73 offenders:
1. John Evans III (~1976+-1983, electric chair): A year after Evans was paroled, he and another ex convict, Wayne Ritter, went on a two month long crime spree that involved 30 armed robberies, 9 kidnappings, and 2 extortion incidents. Their rampage ended when they shot dead 34 year old Edward Nassar in front of his daughters while robbing his pawn shop. Evans' execution was controversial, as it took 24 minutes and three pulls of the switch to electrocute him. Any information on his crimes before his 1977 spree is unavailable to me.
2. Arthur Jones (1981-1986, electric chair): Jones gunned down Vaughn Thompson, a 21 year old storekeeper, and William Waymon, a 72 year old cab driver, in two robberies.
3. Wayne Ritter (1976-1986, electric chair): Ritter was the accomplice of the above mentioned John Evans. After being released from prison, he assisted him in several robberies, abductions, and the murder of Edward Nassar. Like Evans, Ritter's earlier criminal history wasn't disclosed in the sources on hand.
4. Michael Lindsey (1981-1989, electric chair): Lindsey broke in the home of 64 year old Rosemary Rutland. After tying her up, he shot and stabbed Rutland to death, and stole her Christmas presents.
5. Horace Dunkins Jr. (1980-1989, electric chair): Dunkins abducted 26 year old Lynn McCurry, bound her to a tree, and raped her. He stabbed McCurry 66 times, and left her body on the tree she was tied to. His execution was a source of controversy, as Dunkins was allegedly cognitively disabled.
6. Herbert Richardson (1977-1989, electric chair): Richardson threw a pipe bomb into the home of one of his ex girlfriend's family members in retaliation for her breaking up with him. Her niece, 11 year old Rena Callins, was killed in the attack.
7. Arthur Julius (1972-1989, electric chair): In 1972, Julius beat his boss, 74 year old Herbert Chisenhall, to death during an argument over his wages. He was given a life sentence, but was able to leave custody in 1978 on a one day release. Julius took advantage of his leave to rape his cousin, 29 year old Susie Sanders, in her home. She was strangled to death during the assault.
8. Wallace Thomas (1976-1990, electric chair): Thomas and a partner abducted 21 year old Quenette Shehane from a convenience store. She was raped, robbed, and shot to death.
9. Larry Heath (1981-1992, electric chair): Out of a desire to marry another woman, Heath orchestrated the kidnapping of his 21 year old wife Rebecca (who was 9 months pregnant with their child) with the help of some men he hired. She was abducted from their home and shot in the head.
10. Cornelius Singleton (~1972-1992, electric chair): Singleton was condemned for the robbery of a Catholic monastery that ended with the fatal strangulation of a nun, 51 year old Ann Hogan. His execution was hotly contested by his lawyers and supporters, who have alleged misconduct in the trial and investigation. Despite the controversy, Hogan's stolen watch was found in Singleton's possession. Singleton was previously convicted for a 1972 incident involving arson and burglary.
11. Willie Clisby Jr. (1979-1995, electric chair): Clisby broke into the home of 58 year old Fletcher Handley, beat him to death with an ax handle, and left with $80 in hand.
12. Varnell Weeks (1981-1995, electric chair): Weeks abducted and carjacked 24 year old Mark Batts. He bound Batts, placed a pillowcase on his head, and shot him through it. While driving Batts' stolen car in Ohio, he was flagged down by police officers, and Weeks fired on them in the confrontation. In the shootout, Weeks was captured without any causalities to the responding officers. His execution was controversial, as his lawyers claimed that he was a paranoid schizophrenic.
13. Edward Horsley Jr. (~1976-1996, electric chair): After escaping from prison with Brian Baldwin, Horsley abducted 16 year old Naomi Rolon while she was hitchhiking. Horsley raped and dismembered Rolon with an ax, and ran her body over. Although Horlsey's culpability is an overwhelming certainty, the extent of Baldwin's alleged involvement is a significant source of contention. Horsley was previously convicted of a string of robberies that ended up with a non-fatal shooting of a police officer.
14. Billy Waldrop (1982-1997, electric chair): Waldrop snuck into the home of 72 year old Thurman Donahoo and shot him in the head. He then stole $130 and a 5-carat diamond ring. To destroy any evidence of his crime, Waldrop burned the house down, and fled to California. While in hiding, he was detained by the local law enforcement for a DUI and extradited back to Alabama to face trial.
15. Walter Hill (~1952-1997, electric chair): As a teenager in the early 50s, Hill beat Sam Atmore (age unknown) to death. He was given a 10 year sentence for that murder, and took part in an escape attempt that was temporarily successful because of the watchman's negligence. After his release, Hill became a career criminal and was involved with several abduction robberies, and wound up in a cycle of repeatedly being in and out of prison. During one of his incarcerations, Hill stabbed an unidentified inmate to death, but was cleared of any charges on the grounds of self defense. In 1977, Hill started an illicit "relationship" with a 13 year old girl, and sought the permission of her stepmother, 60 year old Willie Hammock, to marry but she refused. Out of anger, Hill shot Hammock, her 34 year old daughter Lois Tatum, and Lois' 36 year old husband John dead in their home, and abducted the girl and her 16 year old adopted brother. The brother managed to escape, but Hill kidnapped a motorist he encountered in Georgia. The man escaped captivity in North Carolina, and reported Hill and the abducted girl to the local police.
16. Henry Hays (1981-1997, electric chair): Hays was a member of a local Ku Klux Klan chapter, and the son of one of the most prominent KKK leaders in Alabama. In the area, the sentencing of a black man, who was accused of murdering a white policeman, kept on getting delayed due to a string of mistrials. Hays and other members of the KKK chapter interpreted it as a sign that blacks will be able to get away with murdering whites, and sought revenge by lynching a black person at random. The unfortunate victim was 19 year old Michael Donald, who was abducted while walking home from a gas station. Donald was beaten with a tree stump, strangled with a rope, and his throat slit by Hays and his fellow Klansmen. His body was hung on a nearby tree.
17. Steven Thompson (1984-1998, electric chair): Thompson abducted 25 year old Robin Balarzs, a friend's fiancee, from her home. After he tied up and gagged her, Thompson raped Balarz and penetrated her with a knife, shaved her head, and dragged her to death with his car over a distance of 3,000 feet. He stole Balarz's wedding ring and a dollar from her purse, and sexually mutilated her body.
18. Brian Baldwin (~1977-1998, electric chair): Baldwin was the accused accomplice of the above mentioned Edward Horsley, and allegedly helped him with the sex murder of Naomi Rolon after they escaped from prison together. As mentioned in Horsley's section, Baldwin's involvement with Rolon's killing remains hotly contested to this day, and he and his supporters alleged that he was set up by institutionalized racism and tortured into confessing by investigating police officers. He was previously in prison for stealing a car.
19. Victor Kennedy (~1980-1999, electric chair): Kennedy, a career burglar, and an accomplice, Darrell Grayson, broke into the home of 86 year old Annie Orr to search for money. They bound, beat, raped, and suffocated her with a pillow case. When they failed to find any money, Kennedy and Grayson left the residence empty handed.
20. David Duren (1983-2000, electric chair): Duren and an accomplice kidnapped 16 year old Kathleen Bedsole and her date, 17 year old Charles Leonard, and stole $20 that was given to them by Bedsole's father. The couple were tied together, and locked in the trunk for several hours. When Duren stoped his car, he shot both of the teenagers. Bedsole was killed, while Leonard managed to survive and escape.
21. Freddie Wright (1977-2000, electric chair): Wright was convicted of robbing a store owned by couple, 40 year old Warren and 37 year old Lois Green, with 3 other men. The Greens were tied together, dragged into a backroom, and shot to death. Their watches and $900 were stolen in the robbery. His execution was controversial, as his attorneys and supporters push that he was convicted both out of racism and the participants allegedly naming him to avoid death sentences.
22. Robert Tarver Jr. (1984-2000, electric chair): Tarver fatally shot 63 year old Hugh Kite, while he and an accomplice were robbing him outside of his store. Kite was just done closing his store when he was attacked, and had $80 taken from him.
23. Pernell Ford (1983-2000, electric chair): Ford forced himself into the home that 70 year old Willie Griffin shared with her 42 year old daughter Linda. He stabbed both of them to death after a struggle. Several undisclosed items were stolen from the Griffin home, and Ford used their car to flee to Illinois.
24. Lynda Block (1992-2002, electric chair): Block, her common law husband, George Sibley, and her 9 year old son were sitting in car that was parked in a Walmart parking lot. A passerby was concerned by Block's son apparently looking distressed, and reported them to the police. When a police officer, 38 year old Roger Motley, came to question them, Block and Sibley shot him to death. The couple was previously involved in assaulting and stabbing Block's ex husband in a dispute over their home, a crime they were on the run from at the time of Motley's murder.
25. Anthony Johnson (1984-2002, lethal injection): While Johnson and two unidentified men were robbing a jewelry store, they engaged in a gun-battle with the owner, 51 year Kenneth Cattrell, and killed him. Although Johnson's wasn't directly responsible for Cattrell's death and only acted as a lookout, he was the only member of the gang to be captured, and thus bore the brunt of the judicial retributions when he refused to testify against them.
26. Michael Thompson (1984-2003, lethal injection): During a nighttime convenience store robbery, Thompson kidnapped the clerk, 57 year old Maisie Gray. Thompson forced Gray into his car, drove her to a well, and tossed her inside it. He then shot a trapped Gray to death with his married girlfriend holding a torch for him. His girlfriend had a longstanding record for armed robberies, and Thompson's defense tried to use the argument that she goaded him into the killing or did it herself.
27. Gary Brown (1996-2003, lethal injection): Brown and a few other men went to the home of Jack McGraw, a 59 year old Korean War veteran, to "party." On numerous previous occasions, McGraw had paid them for sex acts. They planned on robbing McGraw's house after he passed out drunk, but he refused to drink as he had work the next morning. Undeterred, Brown and his accomplices attacked McGraw, and stabbed him a combined total of 78 times. More specifically, McGraw's back was stabbed 59 times, his throat and neck were slashed 16 times, and he had 3 cut wounds on his head. The group then stole $67 and a VCR set from his home.
28. Thomas Fortenberry (1984-2004, lethal injection): Fortenberry fatally shot four people, 51 year old Wilbur Nelson, 43 year old Robert Payne, Robert's 29 year old wife Nancy, and 21 year old Ronald Guest, while attempting to rob a gas station.
29. James Hubbard (~1957-2004, lethal injection): In 1957, Hubbard shot and killed 28 year old Carl Dockery in what was described as a "domestic disturbance." He was paroled in 1976 with the help of 62 year old Lillian Montgomery, a woman he befriended behind bars. Hubbard repaid the favor by shooting and killing her while robbing a store she owned in the following year. He stole $500 and her diamond watch, and tried to stage Montgomery's death as a suicide despite the fact that he shot her in the face, head, and shoulder.
30. David Hocker (1998-2004, lethal injection): Hocker was living in a motel and didn't have a car at hand. Thus, he asked his boss, 47 year old Jerry Robinson, to drive him around for an errand. When they were in the car together, Hocker stabbed Robinson to death, stole his credit card, and withdrew $400 from it to buy cocaine. Hocker had an extensive criminal history, but the specifics weren't given in my sources.
31. Mario Centobie (1995-2005, lethal injection): Centobie and another prisoner escaped from a Georgia prison during his 40 year sentence for the double kidnappings of his ex wife and son. They fled to Alabama, and were pulled over by local policemen. Centobie opened fire on them and killed Keith Turner, a 29 year old officer, and wounded another. The pair were recaptured in Georgia near the home of Centobie's ex wife. While awaiting trial, Centobie yet again escaped by seducing a guard, but was quickly recaptured.
32. Jerry Henderson (1984-2005, lethal injection): On his sister-in-law's payroll, Henderson lured her husband, 33 year Jerry Haney, outside of his house and shot him dead.
33. George Sibley Jr. (1992-2005, lethal injection): Sibley was the common law husband of the above mentioned Lynda Block, and assisted her in the killing of officer Roger Motley. He also took part in the assault of her ex husband.
34. John Peoples Jr. (1983-2005, lethal injection): Enraged that 34 year old Paul Franklin refused to sell him his car that he coveted, Peoples broke into his home, and beat him to death with a rifle. Peoples stole the car and abducted Paul's wife, 34 year old Judy, and their 10 year old son John. They were also beaten to death with Peoples' rifle.
35. Larry Hutcherson (1992-2006, lethal injection): Hutcherson broke into the home of 89 year old Irma Gray, and slit her throat. He stole her air conditioner and microwave in the robbery.
36. Aaron Jones (1978-2006, lethal injection): After being fired by them, Jones and his partner invaded the home of their former employers, 61 year old Carl and 45 year old Williene Nelson. They shot Carl and Willene dead and chopped their bodies into several pieces. The pair also shot their 3 children, 21 year old Tony, 13 year old Brenda, and 10 year old Charlie, and Carl's mother, 85 year old Annie, but they all managed to survive their injuries.
37. Darrell Grayson (1980-2007, lethal injection): Grayson was the accomplice of the previously mentioned Victor Kennedy, and partook in the rape and murder of Annie Orr and the burglary of her home.
38. Luther Williams (1988-2007, lethal injection): While John Kirk, a 63 year old WW2 veteran, was driving home from work, his truck broke down. He was found and abducted by Williams and 2 other men, and shot to death by them. The trio then stole money from Kirk's body and his truck.
39. James Callahan (1982-2009, lethal injection): Callahan kidnapped 26 year old Becky Howell, while she was walking from a club her fiance was performing to switch laundry that she left at a laundromat. Howell was raped and strangled to death.
40. Danny Bradley (1983-2009, lethal injection): When his wife was hospitalized, Bradley was left to care for his stepdaughter, 12 year old Rhonda Hardin, and his stepson. After he put his stepson to bed, Bradley sodomized Hardin and choked her to death with his bare hands.
41. Jimmy Dill (~1983-2009, lethal injection) Dill shot his dealer, 33 year old Leon Shaw, in the head during a deal gone bad, and stole $200 and a few bags of cocaine. Shaw was left comatose and died of his injuries 9 months later. Dill had an extensive criminal record for theft and drug possession.
42. Willie McNair (1990-2009, lethal injection): McNair and an accomplice went to the home of his occasional employer, 68 year old Ella Riley, to ask for some money. When Riley declined to give them any, McNair tricked her into letting him inside by asking for a drink of water. After walking in, he stabbed Riley in the neck and strangled her to death. The pair then fled with her purse.
43. Jack Trawick (~1972-2009, lethal injection): Trawick was convicted or credibly confessed to a minimum of 3 murders. His verified victims consist of 27 year old Aileen Pruitt, 21 year old Stephanie Gach, and 17 year old Betty Richards. In his known murders, he forcibly abducted his victims from public locations, and raped and tortured them. They were then stabbed and beaten to death with a hammer. Trawick bragged in graphic details about committing other murders on a website made for death row inmates, which he also used to taunt the victims' families. However, investigations into the alleged additional killings brought no results, and are now believed to have been fictionalized by Trawick for clout.
44. Max Payne (1992-2009, lethal injection): Payne robbed a store at gunpoint, and kidnapped the owner, 58 year old Braxton Brown. He took Brown to his sister's house and tried forcing him into giving them money. When his sister objected, Payne dragged Brown to a bridge, shot him in the head, and dumped his body in the nearby creek. A total of $1,085 in cash and many of Brown's belongings were stolen, which included bank deposit checks, rings, cigarettes, food stamps, and a handgun.
45. Thomas Whisenhant (~1963-2010, lethal injection): At the age of 16, Whisenhant fatally shot 72 year old Lexie Haynes in one incident and robbed an unidentified blind woman in another. For uknown reasons, the charges were dropped against him, and he was able to join the air force. A few years later, he assaulted Rose Covington, a 22 year old WAF servicewoman, with an ashtray, and was discharged and sentenced to 20 years of hard labor for the attack. Whisenhant was granted parole in 1972. Another couple years later, he went on a crime spree, and abducted 3 women that worked in convenience stores he robbed. His victims, 44 year old Venora Hyatt, 28 year old Patricia Hitt, and 23 year old Cheryl Payton, were all raped and shot in the head.
46. John Parker (1988-2010, lethal injection): Parker and his accomplice Kenneth Smith was hired to kill 42 year old Elizabeth Sennett, by her husband, who wanted to use her life insurance policy to fund his ministering. Her husband was also Parker's landlord. The pair lured Sennett into the woods by pretending to be hunters searching for a hunting spot, and stabbed her to death. Sennett's husband then gave Parker and Smith their stereo and video cassette recorders to make it look like a robbery.
47. Michael Land (~1990-2010, lethal injection): Land kidnapped 30 year old Candace Brown from her apartment after he cut her telephone line. He raped Brown, shot her in the head, and stole her purse. Land had prior convictions of burglaries and receiving stolen goods, and previously met Brown in prison when she ministered to him.
48. Holly Wood (~1981-2010, lethal injection): In 1994, Wood shot his ex girlfriend, 34 year old Ruby Gosha, at point blank range in front of her children at her mother's home. He had also (non-fatally) shot another ex girlfriend from outside her bedroom window several years before Gosha's murder. His criminal history was extensive, and had 18 different felonies on his record. Some of the charges pertained to incidents of assault.
49. Phillip Hallford (~1978-2010, lethal injection): Hallford was jealousy enraged that his 15 year old daughter, whom he had been sexually abusing since she was 7, was dating 16 year old Charles Shannon. He forced her to lure Shannon to a bridge, gunned him down, and stole his wallet. With the coerced help of his stepson, Hallford dumped Shannon's body into a river. As a memento, Hallford forced his daughter to wear a necklace with the shell casing used in the murder.
50. Leroy White (1988-2011, lethal injection): White shot his estranged wife, 35 year old Ruby, dead while she was visiting her sister out of anger at their upcoming divorce. Ruby's sister was wounded in the shooting. White had also previously shot and injured Ruby's leg during an argument.
51. William Boyd (1986-2011, lethal injection): Boyd and a partner broke into the home of married couple, 76 year old Fred and 41 year old Evelyn Blackmon, and duped them into thinking that Evelyn's daughter (whom Boyd previously dated against her mother's wishes) was kidnapped. They made the couple believe that they had to pay a $3,000 ransom for her safe return. The couple were then both tied up, forcibly separated into their captors' cars, and beaten and shot to death.
52. Jason Williams (1992-2011, lethal injection): Under the influence of cocaine, Williams shot his roommate, 46 year old Gerald Paravicini dead in the trailer they shared. William then walked over to his neighbors, the Barber family (consisting of parents, 50 year old Freddie and 45 year old Linda, and their sons, 22 year old Bryan and 16 year old Brad) and intruded into their home. He shot and killed Freddie, Linda, and Bryan, and wounded Brad. Cash and credit cards were taken and Williams fled in the family van.
53. Eddie Powell III (~1990s-2011, lethal injection): Powell broke into the home of 70 year old Mattie Wesson, and repeatedly sexually assaulted her. Wesson was beaten and shot in the attack, but she managed to drag herself to a neighbor's house for help before she succumbed to her injuries. Powell had several previous convictions for burglary, theft, and assault.
54. Derrick Mason (1994-2011, lethal injection): Mason held up a convenience store, and forced the clerk, 25 year old Angela Cagle to turn off the cameras and undress. However, he shot Cagle in the head before any assault could occur. He then tried to open the register, but ran off when he failed to open it.
55. Christopher Johnson (2005-2011, lethal injection): To avoid paying child support and to spite his estranged wife, Johnson smothered his 6 month old son Eilas with his fingers, and struck him in the head.
56. Andrew Lackey (2005-2013, lethal injection): After being told about the existence of a vault inside the home of Charles Newman, a 80 year old WW2 veteran, by Newman's grandson, Lackey decided to steal it from him. He invaded Newman's house, and shot and stabbed him 70 times in the ensuring confrontation. Despite Lackey waiving his appeals and actively petitioning for his own execution, his death sentence attracted controversy due to him being diagnosed with Asperger's.
57. Christopher Brooks (1992-2016, lethal injection): Brooks snuck into the apartment of 23 year old Jo Campbell. He sexually assaulted Campbell in her bedroom, and bludgeoned her to death with a barbell. Several items, including a credit card, were stolen from the scene.
58. Ronald Smith Jr. (1994-2016, lethal injection): Smith and some accomplices robbed a convenience store, and fatally shot the clerk, 26 year old Casey Wilson. According to Smith's attorneys, Smith and Wilson were allegedly involved in a love triangle with a local stripper. If such accounts are to be believed, he shot him dead in a dispute over her, and Smith staged it as a robbery to avoid embarrassing his parents. However, the stripper strongly denied having any connections with both men. His execution sparked controversy, as witnesses reported him coughing and heaving for 13 minutes during it.
59. Thomas Arthur (1982-2017, lethal injection): Arthur's married girlfriend hired him to kill her husband, 35 year old Troy Wicker, for his insurance policy. He gunned down Wicker while he was sleeping in his bedroom. To mislead investigators, Wicker's wife claimed that an intruder broke into her home, shot her husband dead, and raped her.
60. Robert Melson (1994-2017, lethal injection): Melson and his partner held up a Popeyes store at gunpoint. They rounded up the employees, 23 year old Darrell Collier, 18 year old Tamika Collins, 17 year old Nathaniel Baker, and 17 year Bryant Archer, into a freezer, and shot them. Archer was the sole survivor, and identified Melson's accomplice, a former employee, to the police. Although Melson's accomplice was initially given a life sentence due to him being a minor at the time, he was later also sentenced to death for killing a cellmate, and is currently awaiting execution.
61. Torrey McNabb (1997-2017, lethal injection): McNabb skipped bail when he was facing charges for receiving stolen property and drug possession. He was tracked down by a bondsman sent to bring him back to court, but he shot at him when he appeared at his doorsteps. The bondsman then called the police for support. One of the responding officers, 30 year old Anderson Gordon, was killed in the standoff with McNabb.
62. Michael Eggers (2000-2018, lethal injection): Eggers and his ex employer, 67 year old Bennie Murray, were in talks about him returning to his former job at her carnival. While Murray was driving Eggers and his 15 year old son, they got into an argument. During the fight, Murray slapped Eggers, which enraged him. He beat and choked her with his hands until she went unconscious, and tossed Murray out of her car. Eggers continued to beat and kick Murray, and crushed her throat with a tree branch. After she was killed, Eggers stole money from Murray's purse, and drove away in her car.
63. Walter Moody (~1972-2018, lethal injection): In 1972, Moody was building a bomb to kill an auto dealer that repossessed his car. However, the bomb exploded prematurely, and critically injured Moody's then wife instead. Although Moody was cleared of charges relating to the construction of the bomb, he was still convicted of it being in his possession. His appeals were thrown away, which gave him a resentment against the justice system. After Moody was released from prison, he murdered a federal judge, 58 year old Robert Vance, and a civil rights attorney, 42 year old Robbie Robinson, and injured Vance's wife, in two separate bombings. To disguise his attacks, Moody sent bombs and hate letters to various NAACP targets.
64. Domineque Ray (1992-2019, lethal injection): Ray shot and killed two brothers, 18 year old Ernest and 13 year old Reinhard Mabins, for refusing to join his gang. In the following year, Ray and his gang members kidnapped 15 year old Tiffany Harville from her home and raped her. Her throat was slit and she was dumped in a remote cotton field.
65. Michael Samra (1997-2019, lethal injection): During an argument over a pick up truck, Samra and his teenage friend shot and killed his friend's father, 39 year old Randy Duke, and step mother, 29 year old Dedra Hunt. The pair also slit the throats of Dedra's two children, 7 year old Chelsea and 6 year old Chelisa.
66. Christopher Price (~1990-2019, lethal injection): Price invaded the home of Bill Lynn, a 57 year old pastor, while he was busy wrapping Christmas presents for his grandchildren. He stabbed Bill 30 times with a sword and injured his wife Bessie when they confronted him. Despite being only 19 at the time, Price had an extensive criminal history that involved trespassing, auto theft, and "criminal mischief."
67. Nathaniel Woods (~2004-2020, lethal injection): A squad of 4 police officers, 58 year old Carlos Owen, 40 year old Harley Chisholm III, 37 year old Michael Collins, and 33 year old Charles Bennett, were searching a drug house that Woods, a long time dealer, had been operating in. As they were arresting Woods, one of his associates opened fire on them and killed Chisholm, Bennett, and Owen. Collins was wounded, but managed to flee to safety. Wood's execution was extremely controversial, as he wasn't the triggerman in the shootings. His supporters and the shooter himself claimed that he was an entirely innocent party, while the prosecutors pushed that he deliberately lured the officers to their deaths.
68. Willie Smith III (1991-2021, lethal injection): Smith kidnapped 22 year old Sharma Johnson at gunpoint near a bank, and forced her to withdraw $80 from an ATM machine. He locked Johnson in the trunk of her own car, and shot her dead while she was trapped in it. The car was then burned to destroy the evidence.
69. Matthew Reeves (1996-2022, lethal injection): Reeves and two other men pretended to be hitchhikers on a remote highway as a ruse to lure motorists. The target they ensnared was 38 year old Willie Johnson Jr. They robbed Johnson of $360 when he stopped to pick them up, and Reeves shot him to death with a shotgun. Reeves then attended a party reportedly still covered with Johnson's blood, and celebrated by pretending to pump the gun and mockingly mimicked his death throes to the other guests.
70. Joe James Jr. (1993-2022, lethal injection): James tracked down his ex girlfriend, 26 year old Faith Hill, at her friend's apartment. She was in the company of her children, her friend, and her friend's children. The friend shielded the children from James with her body, while Hill tried desperately to calm him down. He fatally shot her a total of 4 times. His execution sparked controversy for it taking over 3 hours to complete, and caused the state of Alabama to delay executions until 2023. James was previously arrested and reported several times for harassing Hill's family, which included an incident of him burglarizing her grandmother's home.
71. James Barber (2001-2023, lethal injection): Barber assaulted 75 year old Dorothy Epps, who was both his ex girlfriend's mother and a former employer, with a claw hammer in her home. Despite her efforts at fighting him off, Epps was beaten to death, and Barber stole her purse.
72. Casey McWhorter (1993-2023, lethal injection): McWhorter conspired with a 15 year old friend and a 16 year old friend to kill 34 year old Edward Williams, the father of the 15 year old. The group tried to force Williams to had over a safe, but he tried to fight back. They shot him a total of 11 times with a .22 rifle equipped with a makeshift silencer in his home and took his truck, wallet, and an undisclosed amount of money. The stolen truck was destroyed in order to sell the parts for scrap metal.
73. Kenneth Smith (1988-2024, nitrogen hypoxia): Smith assisted John Parker in the contract killing of Elizabeth Sennett on the behalf of her husband. His case attracted controversy when he survived a botched execution in 2022, and received international attention for being the first inmate in history to be executed with the controversially experimental nitrogen hypoxia method.

TW//Sexual Abuse//Physical Violence
Hi All, I'm a male between ages 20 and 30.
I'm writing this after I drove down to the police station this morning and reported my parents for sex crimes against children, so this is all very fresh in my mind so it will be a long post. Sorry for the weird title, reddit has been flagging and autoremoving this post for some reason.

BACKGROUND: CHILD ABUSE CULT

When I say cult, I don't mean a cult in the sense of David Koresh compound style cult, I mean more so in mindset and fringe religious practices. My parents believed in the doctrine called "mortification of the flesh", which basically states that people are born evil, and to make them not evil, you have to hit them. See https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Discipline_(instrument_of_penance))
My parents are extremist fundamentalist Christians. My dad was basically a pastor, and my mom "home schooled" us. When I say home school, I'm being very generous on the school part. They were part of the Quiverful evangelical home school movement and held to the teachings of people like Jonathan Lindvall, Dough Philips, Tedd Tripp, Mike and Debbie Pearl, Stan and Brenna Jones, and Dennis and Barbra Rainey, among others.
Basically, I have pretty solid proof my parents were using these books on me.

TEACHINGS OF TEDD TRIPP

The teachings of Tedd Tripp are certifiably insane. I'll provide several quotes here from his book, "Shepherding a Child's Heart":

• "Spanking is most effective in dealing with young children. They fear being spanked. The spanking gives weight to your words. The spanking sobers and humbles the child. As children get older they get more stoic about spanking. They learn how to deal with it. The intensity of spanking required to make the same impression on a 12-year-old that you make on a 2-year-old would be excessive.”
• “Remove his drawers so that the spanking is not lost in the padding of his pants.... It is best to lay the child across your lap rather than over a bed or a chair. This puts the spanking in the context of your physical relationship. He is not being removed from you to a neutral object for the purpose of being disciplined.”
• “I have witnessed spankings administered through a double layer of diapers to a child who never stopped moving long enough to know he had been spanked. The spanking was ineffective because the parents never made the rod felt.”
• “When your child is old enough to resist your directives, he is old enough to be disciplined. When he is resisting you, he is disobeying. If you fail to respond, those rebellious responses become entrenched. The longer you put off disciplining, the more intractable the disobedience will become.”
• “Rebellion can be something as simple as a small child struggling against a diaper change or stiffening his body when you want him to sit on your lap. The discipline procedure is the same as that which is laid out above. You have no way of knowing how much a child less than a year old can understand, but we do know that understanding comes long before the ability to articulate. Your temptation will be to wait until your children are speaking and able to articulate their rebellion before you deal with it.”
• “When our oldest child was approximately 8 months old, we were confronted with parenting our first mobile child. He crawled everywhere. We had a bookshelf constructed of boards and bricks. Fearing the shelf would fall on him, Margy told him not to pull himself up by the shelf. After moving him away from the shelf, she left the room. As she peeked in on him, she observed him surveying the room. Not seeing her, he headed back toward the forbidden bookshelf. Here was a young child, not yet able to walk or to talk, looking to see if the coast was clear so he could disobey. Obviously, he was old enough to be disciplined.”
• “After you have spanked, take the child up on your lap and hug him, telling him how much you love him...On some occasions I have had to say to our children: ‘Dear, Daddy has spanked you, but you are not sweet enough yet. We are going to have to go back upstairs for another spanking.’”

Tedd tripp said in an interview on desiringgod: “But what is the purpose of it? I think spanking is most effective with younger children. Spanking gets their attention. It gives weight to your words. It humbles them. They want to avoid it. And it becomes very effective, particularly with little children where you can’t really reason with them, and they are not capable of complex reasoning.... So I think that it is indispensable in those early years particularly.”

MIKE AND DEBBIE PEARL:

The book, "To Train Up a Child" is also particularly nasty, and 1994 edition especially so. In the 2015 version, they tried to smooth over some of the more abusive passages because parents were hitting their kids to death and they were using this book.
The book emphasizes the doctrine of the mortification of the flesh, stating:

• “A spanking (whipping, paddling, switching, or belting) is in-dispensable to the removal of guilt in your child. His very conscience (nature) demands punishment.”
• “If God’s love is expressed by the ‘whippings’ He gives, then can we not also love our children enough to chasten them unto holiness?”
• “The very nature of the child makes the rod an indispensable element in child training and discipline....“They go astray as soon as they be born, speaking lies” (Psalm 58:3).”

More messed up stuff includes:

• The opening line of this book states, “SWITCH YOUR KIDS”
• “Training does not necessarily require that the trainee be capable of reason; even mice and rats can be trained to respond to stimuli. Careful training can make a dog perfectly obedient. If a seeing-eye dog can be trained to reliably lead a blind man through the obstacles of a city street, shouldn’t a parent expect more out of an intelligent child? A dog can be trained not to touch a tasty morsel laid in front of him. Can’t a child be trained not to touch?”
• “A dog can be trained to come, stay, sit, be quiet or fetch upon command. You may not have trained your dog that well, yet every day someone accomplishes it on the dumbest mutts. Even a clumsy teenager can be trained to be an effective trainer in a dog obedience school. If you wait until your dog is displaying unacceptable behavior before you rebuke (or kick) him, you will have a foot-shy mutt who is always sulking around seeing what he can get away with before being screamed at.”
• “Where there is an absence of training, you can no more rebuke and whip a child into acceptable behavior than you can the family dog. No amount of discipline can make up for lack of training.”
• “Proper training always works on every child. To neglect training is to create miserable circumstances for yourself and your child. Out of innocent ignorance many of you have bypassed the training and expected the discipline alone to effect proper behavior.”
• “There is much satisfaction in training up a child. It is easy and challenging. When my children were able to crawl (in the case of one, roll) around the room, I set up training sessions. Try it yourself. Place an appealing object where they can reach it, maybe in a ‘No- no’ corner or on an apple juice table (That’s where the coffee table once sat). When they spy it and make a dive for it, in a calm voice say, "No, don’t touch it." They will already be familiar with the ‘No,’ so they will pause, look at you in wonder and then turn around and grab it. Switch their hand once and simultaneously say, ‘No.’”
• “Remember, you are not disciplining, you are training. One spat with a little switch is enough. They will again pull back their hand and consider the relationship between the object, their desire, the command and the little reinforcing pain. It may take several times, but if you are consistent, they will learn to consistently obey, even in your absence.”
• “As the mother, holding her child, leans over the crib and begins the swing downward, the infant stiffens, takes a deep breath and bellows. The battle for control has begun in earnest. Someone is going to be conditioned. Either the tender-hearted mother will cave-in to this self-centered demand (thus training the child to get his way by crying) or the infant is allowed to cry (learning that crying is counterproductive).”

Further evidence of the abusive nature of Mike & Debbie Pearl’s teachings is found in a video clip of Mike Pearl speaking at a seminar, demonstrating with a child doll, where he stated, “I'm gonna get this rod if he screams too hard with the first five [and] gets hysterical... wait... you know a little psychological terror sometimes more effective than the pain.”
See https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wt0QOKbEj7A for a solid video by the channel Fundie Fridays on the Pearls.
Furthermore, Mike Pearl has explicitly justified domestic violence. In the book, “Created to be His Help Meet” by Debbie Pearl, described on the cover page as a guide to “Discover how God can make your marriage glorious”, Mike Pearl writes a section explicitly advocates for women to endure domestic violence:

• “Has your husband reviled you and threatened you? You are exhorted to respond as Jesus did. When he was reviled and threatened, he suffered by committing himself to a higher judge who is righteous. You must commit yourself to the one who placed you under your husband’s command."
• “Your husband will answer to God, and you must answer to God for how you respond to your husband, even when he causes you to suffer. Just as we are to obey government in every ordinance, and servants are to obey their masters, even the ones who are abusive and surly, ‘likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands’...”
• “You can freely call your husband ‘lord’ when you know that you are addressing the one who put him in charge and asked you to suffer at your husband’s hands just as our Lord suffered at the hands of unjust authorities...”
• “When you endure evil and railing without returning it, you receive a blessing, not just as a martyr, but as one who worships God.”

The Seattle times actually wrote about the Pearls and their book: https://www.seattletimes.com/seattle-news/did-hanas-parents-train-her-to-death/

• “‘It’s truly an evil book,’ said Michael Ramsey, the district attorney for Butte County, Calif.Ramsey successfully prosecuted Kevin and Elizabeth Schatz for hitting their daughter Lydia to death in Paradise, Calif., in 2006 with a plastic plumbing-supply tube — the kind the Pearls mention in an article on their website called ‘In Defense of Biblical Chastisement.’”
• “In Washington state, the death of Hana Williams marked the third time the Pearls’ names and their book have surfaced after the death of a child....”
• “Pearl encourages parents to think of the switch as a ‘magic wand’ and says teaching a child to obey is like training an animal: ‘A dog can be trained not to touch a tasty morsel laid in front of him. Can’t a child be trained not to touch?’”

JAMES DOBSON & FOCUS ON THE FAMILY

James Dobson is the founder of the religious organization and lobbying group Focus on the Family.
Here's a video of Dobson with Ronald Reagan in the Oval Office of the White House: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4hGZvawO1V8
The first chapter of his book, the New Strong Willed Child, describes Dobson beating his dog:
“He was a stubborn, twelve-pound dachshund named Sigmund Freud (Siggie), who honestly believed that he owned the place.... On the night of our great battle, I told Sigmund to leave his warm seat and go to bed. Instead, he flattened his ears and slowly turned his head toward me.... That was Siggie’s way of saying, “Get lost!”
I had seen this defiant mood before and knew that I had to deal with it. The only way to make Siggie obey was to threaten him with destruction. Nothing else worked. I turned and went to my closet and got a small belt to help me “reason” with ’ol Sig. My wife, who was watching this drama unfold, told me that as soon as I left the room, Siggie jumped from his perch and looked down the hall to see where I had gone. Then he got behind her and growled....
When I returned, I held up the belt and again told the angry dog to get into his bed. He stood his ground so I gave him a firm swat across the rear end, and he tried to bite the belt. I popped him again and he tried to bite me. What developed next is impossible to describe.
That tiny dog and I had the most vicious fight ever staged between man and beast. I fought him up one wall and down the other, with both of us scratching and clawing and growling. I am still embarrassed by the memory of the entire scene. Inch by inch I moved him toward the family room and his bed...
This is not a book about the discipline of dogs. But there is an important aspect of my story that is highly relevant to the world of children. Just as surely as a dog will occasionally challenge the authority of his leaders, a child is inclined to do the same thing, only more so.”

JONATHAN LINDVALL & BOLD CHRISTIAN PARENTING

My parents would play tapes of Jonathan Lindvall when we went on road trips. He advocated for a radical evangelical homeschool lifestyle, social isolation of children from other “worldly” children, having as many children as possible regardless of financial means, explicitly denounced the socialization of children, and stated that children’s education should focus primarily on the Bible.
I couldn't find the actual tapes they played but I found his old website: https://web.archive.org/web/20120829030118/http://boldchristianliving.com/
Some outstanding bits include:

• “We all want our children to have the skills and disciplines to provide for their familiessome day. But job preparation is similarly not worthy as a primary goal of homeschooling. Jesus explicitly warned us not to be concerned with how our food and clothing are supplied (Matt. 6:19-34). This, in fact, is the context in which he called us to ‘seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness.’”
• “There are many desirable, God-pleasing results likely to come from our obedience to God in choosing to personally disciple our children. But no matter how good they are, if they are the focus, rather than our aim being to bring Jesus pleasure, they can become idols for us. Many homeschoolers have become enamored with the vision of the long-term societal (political/economic) impact our practices can have. May the Lord bring all this about, but may our hearts be set on Him more than on the impact we can have.”
• “Another objection virtually every homeschooler in western society has been confronted by is the ‘socialization’ question. In our society is assumed to be essential for children to spend time with peers to be properly adjusted. Yet the preponderance of scripture cautions from the opposite perspective. Proverbs 12:26 warns, ‘The righteous should choose his friends carefully, For the way of the wicked leads them astray.’ Proverbs 13:20 is even more pointed, saying, ‘He who walks with wise men will be wise, But the companion of fools will be destroyed.’ Paul was apparently quoting an accepted proverb at the time when he wrote, ‘Do not be deceived: ‘Evil company corrupts good habits’’ (1 Cor. 15:33).”
• “No doubt the Lord wants our children to learn to benefit from edifying fellowship, just as He wants this for us. However, positive social skills are generally not learned from children. God intends for fathers (not peers) to shape their children’s values and tendencies ‘in the training and admonition of the Lord’ (Eph. 6:4). This requires protecting our children from peer domination, and instead structuring our family lifestyles to facilitate intense, intimate relationship between our children and ourselves.”
• “Sadly, perhaps as a result of the world’s challenges regarding ‘socialization,’ many homeschoolers feel pressure to provide settings where their children can spend large amounts of time with peers. Thus, over the years we have seen homeschool support groups move from supporting the parents to supporting the children with extra-familial activities like sports teams, group music experiences, and cooperative classes. There are probably times when it is appropriate to expose our families to teaching situations where the parents are not necessarily doing all the teaching, but it is a significant danger to fall into the habit of exposing our children to the addictive peer group influences.” • “Virtually every homeschool parent will easily identify the most frequently asked question about their homeschooling as, ‘What about socialization?’ When people ask this question, what are they wondering about? Are they worried that our children will not be capable of displaying lifelong servanthood for the glory of God? Generally not. They are shocked that we are not intimidated at the thought of our children being different from everyone else.” • “Socialism is the attempt to equalize everyone--make everyone alike. But God didn't make us alike. He made each of us, including our children, to be unique. And we are not to minimize, but maximize our distinctives for the glory of God. We are not to try to mask our uniqueness beneath a facade of timid conformity. We are to SHINE! Jesus said (Mat 5:16), ‘Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven.’”

STAN AND BRENNA JONES

First of all, here's a photo of the author: https://www.christiansexed.com/about-the-authors/
Their book, “What’s the Big Deal: Why God cares about sex” identifies as a christian sex education book for children as young as age 8. The cover of the book states, “Ages 8-12”.
The book states in the introduction, “We believe that God means for Christian parents to be their children’s primary sex educators. First messages are the most powerful-why wait until your child hears distorted views and then try to correct the misunderstanding? Sexuality is a beautiful gift-why not present it to your child the way God intended?”.
This book contains passages explicitly describing:

• How pleasurable sex is;
• The location and pleasurability of the clitoris;
• The sensitivity of the penis to pleasure
• What porn is and where it's found
• What rape porn is
• What sex slavery is
• Explicit descriptions of orgasms, including describing them as a sudden burst of pleasure

My dad read me this book when I was 8, 3rd grade.
TEDD TRIPP & BDSM P0RN SITES
What really got me thinking about this was the fact that in my state, the statute of limitations to sue in civil court for assault and battery was up, however the statute of limitations on sexual abuse was not.
So obviously all of this stuff is pretty messed up. But what takes it to the next level of messed up and makes what they did a sex crime (I'm hoping the DA sees it the same way), is when you really look at what Tedd Tripp advocates parents do to their children:
“Remove his drawers so that the spanking is not lost in the padding of his pants.... It is best to lay the child across your lap rather than over a bed or a chair. This puts the spanking in the context of your physical relationship. He is not being removed from you to a neutral object for the purpose of being disciplined.”
Which basically means:

• Take off the child's clothes
• Place them on your lap, fully or partially naked
• Strike them with what could legally be classified as a deadly weapon

So I started thinking about how spanking is a BDSM kink and fetish. Which was weird to think about in the context of what your parents did to you.
Then I thought, well damn there are tons of BDSM p0rn sites, there have to be some with what happened to me on there. It turns out that there are TONS of videos of exactly this on sites such as p0rnhub and heavy fetish .com.
For example:

• “Hard belt spanking for cheating” (porn hub)
• “Spanked to Tears with the Bathbrush - Real Tears for Letting Him Down” (porn hub)
• “Hard paddle spanking in the principal's office” (porn hub)
• “SPANK CHINA - Hua’s first spanking session”, (heavy fetish)
• "Spanking Jane" (heavy fetish)

I tried putting the links in but reddit flagged my post so if you’re really curious just search by title and website
These videos appear on the same site as stuff like real hardcore BDSM stuff like electrocution torture and people in cages, tied in the air and having their genitals electrocuted. Basically real torture like in this video: "WIRED PUSSY - Sandra Romain andSara Scott" (heavy fetish)
And then you realize, "oh, if they filmed what they did, it would be child p0rn_".
18 U.S. Code § 2256:

1. ‘child porn0graphy’ means any visual depiction, including any photograph, film, video, picture, or computer or computer-generated image or picture, whether made or produced by electronic, mechanical, or other means, of sexually explicit conduct, where- the production of such visual depiction involves the use of a minor engaging in sexually explicit conduct; such visual depiction is a digital image, computer image, or computer-generated image that is, or is indistinguishable from, that of a minor engaging in sexually explicit conduct; or such visual depiction has been created, adapted, or modified to appear that an identifiable minor is engaging in sexually explicit conduct.”
2. sexually explicit conduct” means actual or simulated—
   1. sexual intercourse, including genital-genital, oral-genital, anal-genital, or oral-anal, whether between persons of the same or opposite sex;
   2. bestiality;
   3. masturbation;
   4. sadistic or masochistic abuse; or
   5. lascivious exhibition of the anus, genitals, or pubic area of any person;

TORTURE

The next shoe to drop was when I read the legal definitions of torture. Torture is defined as “the infliction of intense pain (as from burning, crushing, or wounding) to punish, coerce, or afford sadistic pleasure”. -Merriam Webster
The U.N. Convention against Torture and Other Cruel, Inhuman or Degrading Treatment or Punishment says:
“For the purposes of this Convention, the term ‘torture’ means any act by which severe pain or suffering, whether physical or mental, is intentionally inflicted on a person for such purposes as obtaining from him or a third person information or a confession, punishing him for an act he or a third person has committed or is suspected of having committed, or intimidating or coercing him or a third person, or for any reason based on discrimination of any kind, when such pain or suffering is inflicted by or at the instigation of or with the consent or acquiescence of a public official or other person acting in an official capacity.”
The U.S. Federal torture 18 U.S. Code § 2340 says,
"'torture' means an act committed by a person acting under the color of law specifically intended to inflict severe physical or mental pain or suffering (other than pain or suffering incidental to lawful sanctions) upon another person within his custody or physical control"
The study “Child Torture as a Form of Child Abuse” from University of Wisconsin School ofMedicine and appearing in the Journal of Child & Adolescent Trauma states:

1. "Child torture is defined medically as...At least two physical assaults, occurring over at least two incidents or a single extended incident, which would cause prolonged physical pain, emotional distress, bodily injury, or death... And...
2. At least two elements of psychological abuse such as isolation, intimidation, emotional/psychological maltreatment, terrorizing, spurning, or deprivation...
3. Inflicted by the child’s caretaker(s)”

It also says:

• “Stover and Nightingale (1985) state: The purpose of torture is to break the will of thevictim and ultimately to break his or her humanity...through infliction of severe or acute physical pain and mental suffering...and requires that the torturer exert physical control over his or her victim. (p. 4–5)”
• “Campbell (2007) adds: ‘The act of torture is carried out for the purpose of physically and psychologically ‘breaking’ an individual’ (p. 633).’”
• “PTSD is the most commonly diagnosed psychological disorder among adult torture victims (Allodi and Cowgill 1982; Herman 1992). In addition to torture, polyvictimization has been recognized to be associated with worse mental health outcomes in child abuse victims (Finkelhor et al. 2011). By definition, all of [the study participants] have suffered polyvictimization as defined by Finkelhor.”

See https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s40653-016-0108-x

GRANDFATHER MANDATORY REPORTER

Also, in this fucked up land of fucking crazy shit, I realized that my grandfather, who we saw all the time, was a mandatory reporter THIS WHOLE TIME. He also had a masters in Psychology, so that's extra WTF.

DAD MENTAL HEALTH COUNSELOR

Another wild thing is that my dad just got his masters in counseling (christian counseling ofc) and is now working as a mental health care provider.

CONCLUSION

I was just diagnosed with Chronic PTSD a few weeks ago and have been out of work on treatment ever since.
But basically none of this feels real to me. I find it interesting in a sort of detached way that every time I detail what my childhood was like, they're shocked and appalled. I could see the female detective's eyes tearing up a bit. But I suppose it shouldn't be so surprising. After all, they put my sibling in the psych hospital 3x before the age of 18.
Please let me know what you all think. One of the silver linings on all this is because of my time in the military, I can get a free PTSD service dog which I'm excited for.
But the thing that finally made me realize this should be referred to the police was that one of the counselors in the PTSD program is a former cop and sex crimes investigator and was shocked by this whole thing. So that's my life right now. :)
TLDR: Parents in child abuse cult; did S&M acts on us as kids; police investigating.