By end it I mean the relationship. And I know it is so hard and so you may not be able to realize it’s bad until looking back on it in months or years, but it is. If you’re a minor talking to someone that’s an adult and significantly older than you, there is a mental gap in understanding. Their frontal lobe is fully developed, meaning that they can see things into the future and possibly how bad they could turn out, depression, anxiety, trust issues, etc. There is no excuse to say that they don’t understand that.
They can be treating you like the nicest princess/Prince in the world and so it is hard to let go. I had one that comforted me and made me feel cared for all the time but he was also s-xting with me while being 26 and I was less than half of his age. I only recently looked back and realized it was manipulation, or at the very least that he didn’t care about me as much as I thought he did. For me personally, the amount of times I cried/stressed/worried if I was being groomed were far larger than the amount of times I felt “loved” by him.
I can answer the question for y’all too. If you’re 13 and 40 doing s-xual things, it’s not love. If you’re 15 and 30 doing s-xual things, it’s not love. If you’re 17 and 40 doing s-xual things It’s. Not. Love. And I mean that from the bottom of my heart. It’s not love no matter how much they make you feel loved, cared for, etc. the cons outweigh the pros. If any adult is acting s-xually with you, there’s no excuse and they need to know better. It is not love, it’s grooming it’s manipulation.
Again with it being hard, it definitely was at least for me I’ve gone through literally over 30 guys, one in particular making me feel really loved. But yall, please work on self love. I promise you it helps. Take like a day, a week, even a few hours, some amount of time without them and do things that show you love yourself. If you’re not getting love in other places besides them try to make friends your own age on discord or other places… I don’t know. Im not a friendship guru but I do know almost anything is better and more healthy than that. If you’ve ever cried for this person, stressed for them, or wonder if you’re being groomed, you’ve also got to wonder if they’ve ever cried over you, because that says a lot. And even if you come to the conclusion you’re not being groomed, I’d say if you have that question in the first place it’s a good reason to just end it if you are not sure, it’s better than f-cking around and finding out, literally.
A quick little rant because I see those posts a lot here and I really do worry for y’all, I was in your position before where I convinced myself it was love despite me stressed, despite me not knowing if he was grooming me or not, etc. because of how “lovingly” he acted towards me. I’ll say that if you’re a minor and any adult acts s-xually with you, block them before it gets worse regardless of if they are nice to you or not. There’s billions of other people and I’m sure you can find a healthier relationship with that, you do not need them. Yeah this post is long asl but I’m just trying to give y’all advice to prevent the grooming from continuing. If y’all got any more questions or still don’t know my dms are open.

Hello reddit
I (26F) met a wonderful man OLD. He(24M) was kind, intelligent, and we had hit it off very well on the first date, went on a second, and he asked for a label and I said too soon, he said I was emotionally unavailable which was the first time in my life I had honestly ever heard of it. 3rd date he asked again and I said sounds good. He left for 2 weeks (military US) and the first half communication was excellent, second half I hardly heard from him. I had said we should wait until after you come back to make it serious, he denied said he wanted exclusivity, and was sent to a big party place. Ok great. We talk when he gets back and I say exactly that I thought things were great, here's the obstacle I like didn't hear from you period for 3 days at all? OK he says we'll repair ok cool. My friends tell me it there shouldn't issues at the jump but I say it's ok he's a wonderful person nbd. We talk and I express my concerns, I said did you hook up with other girls he said no so I said ok. We had plans the next weekend, which our schedules changed and it didn't work out and I was sad because it had been like 3 weeks since I'd seen him, he said we'll get together during the week. I had ended up asking him why he was into me and he said nice things and then he wasn't sure if he wanted to be with me, to which I said thank you, I wish you all the best and I had unfriended (not blocked) him. Waited a week, reached out and said hey, I'm sorry if I misinterpreted your last message, I thought you were dumping me, if you were that's fine I understand, you don't owe me a reply but I wanted to say I appreciate the time and I wish you the best if im wrong and you want to talk lmk. I downloaded OLD after I thought we were through. We talked a week later, he said it wasn't his intention and I asked what he wanted he said to be together and I said awesome I'm in alignment and I deleted OLD immediately. I go out of the country on vacation, try to maintain good communication, and had asked him how a day trip was going, and heard nothing and said oh ok to myself said ok I'll give it time. 4 days later, he blocks me on all social media while I'm on vacation and it's been 3 weeks since I've been back and haven't heard from him. What the hell happened? I'm not mad at all, but I'm just confused.

So I had recently been in a relationship with my work colleague we got together 1-6-23 at a music festival I asked her out under the flood lights both drunk listening to great music which I thought was kinda romantic on my side. We discussed our future plans we both wanted a child and was planning on trying for a baby when she finished her exams (summer 2024). When we met I was 34M and she was 26F I was uneasy being 8 years older as I worried I was too old and at different life stage to her however she assured me not to worry. First problem started end of summer 2023 we had been together a good few months now although she was often busy and would go 5+ days without seeing me. So she was showing me something on her phone tinder notification popped up at the top of the iPhone which she swiped away. My heart sank I left it a few moments then said to her ‘why have u got tinder?’ Her response was that she used tinder to try and buy weed whilst she was on holiday in Greece with her gay male friend. He wanted the weed but couldn’t get phone signal so used her phone and she forgot to delete the app. I stormed out her apartment she chased after me and told me she loved me which meant something to me as I believe in love. From then on I didn’t trust her much and was wary of her actions when I was not with her. I chose to try and believe her story she did offer to show me the app as proof at the time also. Another issue she has an unhealthy amount of ‘lad mates’ she told me they are all camp and not to worry I did worry as I feel any man would. I would often bring this up and be shitty in text to her over these lad mates and her use of tinder. Fast forward New Years 2024 relationship was well. I did something amazing for her she had some shit on Google about her which I managed to get removed about her being in an anorexic clinic I also finally told her I loved her. We went to sleep but for some reason I woke up and felt an urge to check her phone I had never done this before but I had seen unread snapchats from male names which was wrecking my head. I opened them they were selfies weird. I then went into her archived WhatsApp she then began fighting me to get her phone back obviously because she was hiding something. She got her phone back and I caught her swiping a message away to delete it which she later denied. I broke down crying and tried to leave her apartment which she stopped me from doing. I then asked to check her Facebook and Instagram messages. I found her arranging to go on a date in August 2023 we had been together 2 months with a male uni friend so she told me he was anyway. Her excuse was she didn’t go and meet him and didn’t want to hurt his feelings? Why not just say u have a bf then. She was also flirting with a male work colleague we both knew saying about spooning together. Her excuse we was just bantering. Anyway for some reason I didn’t leave her then I made her change her profile pics to ones of me and her on everything to show she was with me to her social media world. We had a bad bust up on her birthday Jan 28 2024 I called her a fucking cheat via text on her birthday she went to leave me the next day I begged for her not to and we then went away together on holiday and became super close and in love. I felt amazing and better about us being together. However I then asked to see her WhatsApp archived messages recently she let me. I found hidden there a message from a uni lad mate again saying ‘are you still with your bf or have u got rid of him’. Weird thing to have archived I asked who is he why is he asking this. She gave me 3 diffrent stories about who he was one min he’s 29 then he’s 40 then he’s 35. I finally dumped her to many things now my head is totaly destroyed I’ve never felt so ill. What do you think?

So my ex girlfriend (F21) and me (F25) broke up two weeks ago. She was consistently taking her meds in our almost 3 year relationship. Now in our country some problems happend and she can‘t get them right now which means she is in heavy withdrawel. That happend in march this year.
The thing is i am so confused by all of it, i know it sounds stupid now but in our relationship nothing of the things i read here happend, like at all, of course there where some things here and there that where a challenge but nothing we couldn‘t work through. That‘s also the reason we said this is not the end and we will make things work in the future.
Now she is in the middle of all her symptoms breaking through, she doesn‘t know what is right and what is wrong, she doesn‘t feel anything and she said if she where to meet anyone new, it wouldn‘t be out of love because she can‘t feel that right now.
There is nothing more than our future that she want‘s but she doesn‘t see it right now because of the things that happend. There was sole stuff in those two weeks that i really didn‘t understand and i was also mad about and i told her that. Now she says she can never see me or my family again because she can‘t handle that they know a single bad thing about her. Which i thing it is normal that humans are not perfect and you cannot say if you do one thing once, that everyone is going to hate you and never wants to talk again. I know she can‘t think like that but i am also so confused because we talked today and she said all these things that she will never be able to visit me or that she will never be able to think about a future again because of what happend. But then i said well i do, because i know there are things that you can do to make it better and that this is not our end. And somehow she couldn‘t understand why i think like this but it also gave her a little bit of hope for our situation.
I don‘t know if everything she says is a lie or if she just wants pity for the things that happend, or if she really deep down wants this to work in the future and wants me to believe in it while she can‘t at the moment.
I know i confuses me so much because she has borderline and i can‘t understand her feelings or actions, but i don‘t think this situation is all hopeless and that i should just forget about her.

i, 20f have been friends with this girl 20f for about 1.5 years and we work together. she made a new friend, a male(kind of irrelevant) within the past year and she's gotten immensely close with him since. that's not the problem.
the problem is that she always brings him up and she is constantly texting him while we are hanging out. i already talked to her in the past about her texting all the time while we are hanging out and she said she'd "try not to" but it's been months since then and nothing really has changed, if anything she's become even more attached to the guy.
now to give a little more backstory to their relationship, they are not dating, he literally told her that he will never love her romantically and apparently she's okay with that even after coming to me saying "will anyone ever love me" blah blah blah after he told her that. she says they're "companions". i have noticed things that don't seem healthy in their interesting relationship and i don't say much about it anymore since she spites everyone who talks bad about him.
back to present day, i ended up texting her about how frustrated i am when hanging out with her because i feel like i'm struggling to keep her attention and it doesn't really feel like we're hanging out. my frustration was focused on her behaviors, and i said that, but for some reason she took it as a personal attack to her friend and said that i need to stop correlating our issues to him even though i literally said that i could care less if it was him or anyone else, i just don't want to be a third wheel when he's not even there.
well, the conversation ended with her blocking me, my girlfriend, and another one of our coworkers (whom i get along with) on all social media and our numbers. the conversation didn't even "end" she just left me on read after my response to her accusing me of talking bad about him and her saying she's tired of being the one to invite me out(in which i do not invite her myself because i have not enjoyed her company). but yes she is the one who asks me to hang out every time btw. she left me on read and blocked everything.
this left me confused and angry because i honestly don't know what i did wrong, i just wanted to hang out with her and enjoy our time together, but she thinks i'm bashing her boyfriend/companion/30yroldman. i get angry thinking about it and the fact that i keep thinking about it makes me even more mad.
tldr; my (ex-)friend wouldn't stop talking about and texting her friend while we're hanging out and i got blocked because i brought it up

OC
In the far future, mankind is surrounded by neighbours that rule over their citizens with an iron first and no regard for their happiness, either in the name of a select few families with noble blood, absolute monarchs or tyrants that claim to serve the interests of their nations while their actions suggest otherwise.
It is a sickening thought and certain individuals would not stand for this. Many species were flabbergasted when they learned so many humans were willing to meddle in the affairs of their neighbours, even more were shocked to learn that these endeavours were not funded by any human government for the sake of destabilising potential rivals.
It was a voluntary effort.
[----------------------------------------]
If Mesch could describe the current microcycle, she’d call it tiring, soul-crushing even, she had no choice but to overwork herself to pay off her debt to the state. After the brother of her father was falsely charged with high treason and shipped off, all of her immediate family-including her-was charged the appropriate price for being the acquaintance of a dissident. The dread residing in her heart only grew stronger as she made her way back to her meager apartment-dwelling, the thought of the massive debt and the cost of living only served to wear her mind down.
“Hello miss, did you know you have rights?” Mesch’s ears perked up at the sudden barrage of noise directed at her, turning to look at the source, she found a strange, seemingly furless biped looking at her. She exhaled from her snout, as if she didn’t have anything better to do…she had recently gotten off her twelfth consecutive overtime shift and the last thing the drowsy nersk needed was a speech about- “You actually do and since I’m here, I’m willing to tell you all about it” The biped was holding plenty of pamphlets in its first appendage and a clipboard in the second. Whatever it wanted to tell her must have been important enough to stand in the same spot for an indefinite amount of time, Mesch decided to humour the strange alien, stopping in her tracks and focusing exclusively on the being in front of her.
"Enlighten me then, what rights do I have?” She came to the conclusion that the alien ignored the sarcasm in her response, seeing that it was thick enough to pierce. She had nothing to her name besides the clothes on her person and what little she had in her apartment-dwelling. The alien handed her a pamphlet, why not? She had come this far, may as well go the whole way. It was written fluently in the language of her people and the information it divulged immediately drew her attention.
-The average Nerski adult works an average of ten human hours for six human days every human week with for the same criminally low wages. This is twenty nerski mini-cycles every twelve nerski micro-cycles every nerski mega-cycle. That is humiliating, grating and unacceptable. Besides being deprived of overtime rates, the average nerski adult is robbed of their sense of safety in their own dwelling, the nerski authorities need no one’s written permission to invade and sack someone’s dwelling for evidence of a crime, perceived or not. The average nerski citizen has no say in who governs them or the measures they may enact at any given moment. The average nersk is not free. But you can be, if you ask the nearest F.F.F advocate for more information. Freedom Forever Foundation-
Something just did not sit well with her about this, was she supposed to work less? Was she supposed to be paid more for the unskilled labour she provided? Was she being taken advantage of? The intrusive thoughts did not let her already weary mind rest, for she had a myriad of questions that urgently needed answering. “I…I want to know more” Mesch did not bother masking the tone of her voice, it sounded equally tired and pleading, desperate for answers to the questions that only kept appearing with each passing second.
The face of the alien brightened by a considerable amount, quickly withdrawing something from the bag on their back. In that span of seconds that felt like a lifetime she remembered the race the odd sentient in front of her belonged to, humans. Not new to FTL technology by any means, but still treated like children in many political-and social-circles thanks to being the newest addition to the Neutral Cooperation Concord. “Glad your rights concern you…this is the information kit, spread the word” A beige folder was handed to her, it was almost as thick as her arm, the scandalous information…the pull it had on her, it was hellish! The promise of relief almost made her knees buckle under the pressure of her need to know.
“One more thing…can I have your signature? I will sooner burn the page than let it fall in the hands of nerski authorities…you have my word” She didn’t need to be pressured to sign and she did so eagerly, carefully hiding the illicit materials within her clothes with shaky hands. ‘Thank-” The human did not get to thank her in time, noticing a single file line of nerski plain clothes enforcers closing in on them, picking up speed when he started backing away. “Unfortunately this is where we part ways…now go!” The last glimpse of the human she caught was him getting swarmed by the enforcers “Liberty fears no tyrant! FREEEEEEEEEEEDOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!” Mesch’s attempts at leading the human away had failed, tears threatened to spill out of the corners of her eyes the longer she ran yet she had no other choice. If only she could see him again…
Almost an entire megacycle latehuman month later…
Mesch was returning from work, this time she failed to evade the treacherous weather, opting to withstand it and head back home through the camped alleyways leading to that fabled square she had met the human at. She sighed, stopping for a bit and sitting down, squeezing her long ears to get what little water had gathered in there out again. That was when a familiar voice caressed her ears once more. “Hello miss, did you know you have rights?” Her head spun around a little too quicker than she liked, causing some pain to her neck but ultimately ignoring it in favour of finding the source of that blessed voice.
“Of course you do, you’re the first one!” The same human from before sat next to her, shielding her from most of the raindrops thanks to his larger size. “Also I’m now considered a political dissident and there’s an active warrant out for my detainment but that’s not the important thing here! It is this…” The same clipboard came into her view, this time filled with plenty more signatures and from the looks of things there were more pages under the one on top, all filled to the brim with signatures as well. “Whoever has it out for me sure doesn’t like it when people think on their own”
Mesch…was stunned, she had convinced herself the human would never see the light of day again and yet here he was, staring at her with that same smile, the same smile with the same, if not larger, amount of defiant spirit brewing behind it. “How did you?...”
"I am a vessel for liberty, as long as it exists somewhere, I will not be stopped” The human stood up and offered her his hand, she accepted it and after getting pulled up on her feet he showed her another pamphlet, this time it talked about a protest right outside the presidential palace, it was suicidal to say the least…which was why Mesch thought she had finally flown off the handle when she accepted without second-guessing herself.
“So…there are more like me?” Hope filled her heart, it was good, way too good to be true. “Not just more…way, wayyy more! Now come, I will get us there with the Liberty mobile!” She soon found herself strapped inside a vehicle of signature human design, heading straight to the presidential palace, her stomach flipping at the mere sight of the crowd gathered at the meeting point. Chanting slogans, phrases, speeches that at any other point in time she would have rejected as crazy and meant to destabilise the nation her people had built over many lifetimes. They got out and marched with the rest of the assembled nersk until they hit a chokepoint, lines upon lines of enforcers ready to meet them halfway , they were not scared or intimidated, they were ready.
Before long, either due to their own initiative or an order from a higher up, the enforcers were set loose on the crowd. Bashing, bruisng and shooting with electrically-charged pellets, trying their damnest to scare the crowd away. Mesch was scared but she would not flee, for the life she lived before this grand event was nothing more than celebrated slavery. Enforcers descended on her and the human, she was badly beaten but before any serious harm could befall her the human shielded her and proceeded to drive back the enforcers hellbent on killing her without even fighting back , the only weapon in his name was his own body and he did not use it as a weapon, only a a shield.
A few moments before she fainted from the overwhelming pain, she could hear the battle cry she had heard only once before and a sense of comfort, a painful but satisfying end to her life of misery.
This would have been the case if she hadn’t woken an indeterminate amount of time later in a hospital, with none other than the same human sitting besides her, watching her. “Slept well? You deserve it after all these bruises” It was painful to move and for the second time, she ignored it. Twisting just enough to be able to hug the human. “Thank you for everything” The human hugged her back, comforting her with the warmth only his words had provided so far. “You shouldn’t thank me, I was doing my moral duty…there is someone else you should be embracing right now” Behind the human stood another nersk, it was uncle Vinow, the same uncle that had gotten dragged off by the secret police. Tears of happiness overwhelmed her and she soon hugged both of them.
“Some sympathetic soul leaked the coordinates to several blacksites holding political prisoners and from the looks of things this isn’t the last act of defiance we’re going to be hearing about, while you were unconscious I was ferrying as many prisoners back and forth to the capital….Congratulations Mersch, your people have embraced freedom. Enjoy it, your blood, sweat and tears have finally paid off”
[-----------------------------]
[My HFY-themed discord server](http:// https://discord.gg/KQeBuv88EB)

I, F26, never thought I would have to write on here. I am a single parent of a toddler. (Dad is not in the picture at all)
I have 2 order step sisters, and over the past 2 years things have got a little rocky, and I just can't wrap my head around it. I am going to try to put both stories in here, because I have a baby shower to attend, in less than 3 weeks. We will call the oldest sister, X, and the other sister Y.
So Y, got married in September 2022, long story short, her best friend told my sister I was talking rudely about her, and my sister believed her. I asked my mom multiple times if I HAD to attend the wedding, and she said no. So I already didn't want to go, I was not in the wedding, I was going through stuff at home, and she didn't want my ex boyfriend there. I reached out and told her I would not want any pictures taken of me or my kid, and she got mad and started saying I was a horrible mom for doing that to my kid. Which really made me not want to go, so I didn't.
We stopped talking for months. Fast forward to April, our grandma has a 70th birthday party. Which I also didn't plan on going, (I'm not close to my mom's side of the family) and even then, I had remember right when the party started, which is about a 30 minute drive, I had slept late that day because I was up all night with my SICK kid, so I wsd very much tired. So sister X sent me a LONG paragraph, after the party, 2 pages long, stating that "the least I could do is show up to a party since I constantly drop my kid off with the grandma) which I found weird because when she's in town, she drops her kid off there? Plus I pay my cousin. Anyways, the message went on to say "I never thought you would grow up to be such a sh*tty person" and "your kid is going to grow up to hate you so much for this" "you are just jealous of me and Y" then she made a comment about my cousin (who us no longer here) comparing his death to my parenting? I still don't understand.
Okay so sister Y has apologize since then, but after telling me how horrible of a mom I am and that "it's sad someone with no kids can tell you're failing as a mom" but whatever, I'm grown enough to hear your apology and show up for my mom's sake. Sister X has not apologized, and my mom tells me she will never plan on apologizing so I just need to accept it.
So, AITA for not wanting to be around either of my sisters? And AITA for keeping my toddler away from both of my sisters? Also, please send advice about this baby shower I have to attend and face both of my sisters 😩

DISCLAIMER: There are obviously severe red flags that should not be ignored. Anything compromising your safety or persons should definitely be acknowledged and avoided. The red flags I will be talking about are about moderate to trivial severity. I also understand that a lot of relationships can start with all green flags and continue into beautiful and long-lasting relationships. I will be talking about how relationships that start with red flags can also be likely to flourish into long-lasting relationships.
I've seen a lot of people abandon relationships early because the other person wasn't all green flags from the start. The problem with chasing "green flag" relationships is that it can lead to the avoidance of conflict. Early conflict also tests if the two have the willingness to work through things and commit to building a future together. I feel like most people are willing to change and better themselves if you give them the chance. Everything's perfect until that one conflict eventually happens and none of them are equipped with the conflict resolution skills needed to maintain stability after that situation. Everything can just blow up.
They can always try to recover from this, but it would be a lot harder than if the two had worked through different/smaller things together earlier. The amount of communication and conflict resolution required early in those types of relationships can be a solid foundation for future conflicts. Ultimately creating a more open and honest communication line with less friction.
Amazing starts to the relationship can often come with "rose-tinted glasses". The two are so fond of each other that they don't notice the red flags until it's too late (the conflict). There's usually a huge surge in emotions from both people while at the same time they are trying to learn how to communicate with each other. It can be very difficult to communicate effectively while going through the turbulence of emotions. Ultimately this can lead to saying things you shouldn't have said (or meant) and a lot of potential miscommunications.
TL;DR: I feel like two people who are willing to work through red flags early have a better foundation for open, honest communication and conflict resolution down the relationship. Chasing green flags can lead to conflict avoidance and frequent relationship abandonment tendencies.

This list is not made to be a "Best games" or something like that, it is my opinion about how much I enjoyed each game.
Also, the way I play the games to make the list is: I play it once without searching for anything in the internet to feel it as a genuine first experience, then I play it again with a guide to do everything the game offers, normally the review is based on the first playthrough since it is my own impression of the game, but sometimes the second one becomes relevant, for good or bad reasons.
These are all the games that I have access to, my computer can't run 14 and 15, I had some problems running 13-2 and 13-3 so I didn't play 'em, and I don't have enough time to play 11 yet.
Anyway, here's my list:
14- Final Fantasy 13 (Steam)
This game has beautiful graphics... And that's the only good thing I have to say about it. It's just a bunch of hallways the whole time, the part that it should open up is 20+ hours already in game and it is just one big area with 5 or 6 hallways. The battle system is boring and the AI is just dumb, the characters are not interesting and the game fails to tell you it's story and almost forces you to read Data Logs to be able to understand it.
13- Final Fantasy 10-2 (Steam)
I think this game just relies too much on being the successor of FFX, the story is way too simple, the final boss didn't make me fear it like Sin did, it was said that he could destroy the whole world, but nothing is shown, he's just sleeping through most of the game, and when he wakes up, YRP destroy him without any difficulty.
My second playthrough to 100% was pretty boring, the amount of little things you have to do in a specific order because if you don't do one little thing in chapter 1, you have to restart it, because you're not getting 100%, the game is not that bad, but i haven't enjoyed it that much.
12- Final Fantasy 1 (PSP)
Of course the first game is really important for the franchise and for the whole gaming industry, and it's so old that it is indeed too simple. I'm not saying it is a bad game, but of all the ones I've played, it is one of the games that gave me the less fun of all.
11- Final Fantasy 3 (DS)
This game looks like a better version of FF1, I mean, it's pretty much the same, the party is together and bam, they are destined to save the world, the story is not that great, Xande wasn't as menacing as he should, I think that if he appeared more during the game, I could have respected him more than just seeing him once and proceed to beat the s* out of him. Cloud of Darkness was there just to be the final challenge as "the greatest menace the world has ever seen"
10- Final Fantasy 2 (PSP)
This game is actually pretty good, some reviews I saw before playing it said that the leveling system was bad and the story wasn't good, but I liked it, it made sense that if a character fights using a sword it will get better with it as the time goes on, of course this means that by the end of the game I couldn't change the "jobs" of my characters, but I didn't see this as a problem at all. Also, I like this game's story, it's not as epic as the next games (of course, it is pretty old) but I like the way they made the villain be someone I should fear, someone that is really evil and made me want to stop him.
9- Final Fantasy 8 (Steam)
Old Review: The story is good. That's it. The draw system made me stop playing this game 3x when I was younger, and almost made me do it again this time, I know it is supposed to be challenging to get all the magic so you can assemble them to your stats, but at some times I was so tired of having to battle the same enemies for long periods of time just to get 100 of their magics that I had to use the save editor to get 100 of the ones I already had. It's not a bad game, really, I was immersed in the story as it kept getting bigger and bigger, but this little detail made me enjoy the game way less than I think i should.
New review: So, after some discussion in the other posts, I gave FF8 another chance, and the game is good, really, this time I've used Triple Triad as I should, making the magic gathering waaay easier, and then I proceeded to enjoy the game more than the last time.
With this being said, FF8 is a good game and i had some fun playing it, but i will not change its position on my ranking, since all the ones above him were more appealing to me in their own ways.
9- Final Fantasy 16 (PS5)
The story is pretty good and I like the characters, I'm not the greatest fan of action RPGs, but the Variety of builds I could make with different Eikons got me. There's not much I can say about this one, the game is nowhere as linear as FF13, but it also ain't open as FF15. There are some beautiful fights, but I didn't feel any challenge during my gameplay, not even in Final Fantasy Mode. Also, there is a point near the end of the game that they just throw a lot of sidequests in your face, but overall is a good game.
8- Final Fantasy 4 (PSP)
This is the first Final Fantasy game that I played in my life, and it is really good, the story is nice, the characters are cool and having that much charisma on my party after playing FF3 made me enjoy this SO much that I can play it many more times and still enjoy just like the first time. Of course it have its problems, some characters get really weak if compared to others and the difficulty is pretty low, but overall, a really cool game.
7- Final Fantasy 12 (Steam)
This is the second Final Fantasy game I played and the first I beat when i was younger, it has its problems (like every other) but the characters have charisma (Not you, Vaan, shut up), the story is ok and the Gambit System made my eyes shine when I saw it for the first time. The hunts where so challenging for me back in that day that i remember myself just breaking my head doing good Gambits to each member of my party (of course when I played it again it wasn't that hard but ok), this is the game that made me love this series and JRPGs, and it's pretty sad for me to leave it this down on the list, but I have to be honest when I say that the next ones made me enjoy more the journey and are simply better games.
6- Final Fantasy 5 (Steam)
This one is the perfection of what Square began on FF1 and then evolved at FF3, the job system is really good, the variety of parties you can make is awesome and the story made me want to chase Exdeath so bad that I was almost entering the PC to beat him with my own hands. The characters are charismatic and Gilgamesh made me laugh every time he appeared. The game is not the most complex one, but it is really good.
5- Final Fantasy Tactics (Mobile)
The only one I played that is not from the main franchise, but the story is so good, the characters seem so alive, Ramza and Delita really make you feel what they are feeling, the jobs system is pretty certainly the best I've seen until now and the gameplay got me since the very first battle. If you've never played FFTactics, do it right now, it is one of the best games I've ever played and certainly deserves this position on my opinion, maybe even higher when I play it again on the future.
4- Final Fantasy 7 (PS1)
I think I don't have to say very much about this one, it was for a very long time my favorite game, the story is so good, the characters are perfect, Sephiroth made me fear him every time he was on the screen, just as he made Cloud sweat by hearing his name, the parties you can make are so diverse, you can play it with many different comps and you will still enjoy it and not be stuck anywhere because they're all acceptable, I'm not gonna make an analysis of every aspect of the game, but this one is REALLY worth playing, even if you're not much of a FF fan.
3- Final Fantasy 9 (Steam)
This game is so good I have difficulty finding words to describe it, Zidane is a great main character (He is a classic hero, of course, but his plot made me enjoy his character a lot more than I already did), Garnet had so much drama around her, Vivi is so precious, wish I could protect him from everything forever. The story is really good, the way it scales 'til the end made me not want to stop playing it, Kuja is a wonderful villain, he was not only the big bad that should be defeated because he wants to destroy the world, he was a villain, a really good villain that I wanted to defeat, I wanted to stop him as much as the characters, FF9 is amazing.
2- Final Fantasy 6 (GBA)
FF6 is a wonderful game in every aspect, its story got me so much feelings, Kefka is my favourite villain from the franchise, Terra, Locke, Celes, Edgar, all of the characters made me care about them, made me want to see how they would react to everything that was happening through the whole time, the side stories after they get separated almost made me cry, Celes is a wonderful character in every aspect, this game was my favourite until I played the Top 1, but it still is one of the games I've enjoyed the most in my entire life.
1- Final Fantasy 10 (Steam)
This is a game that my brother always told me to play, and when I did, I understood why he was telling me to do so. The battle system is great, being able to switch your characters in the middle of the battle is awesome, the sphere grid, when I first saw, i thought it would be overly complicated, but it isn't, the trials to get Aeons are pretty good, not that hard but I understand why, all the characters are so charismatic, I love all of them. And the story... Final Fantasy 10 made tears fill my eyes while I was playing it, Tidus' plot is beautiful, Yuna as well, every character had their own little arc and I enjoyed all of them, this game is the one that surpassed FF6 for me, and I was thinking that it wasn't possible since I love FF6 so much, but FF10 is wonderful in every aspect and is the game that I enjoyed the most.

I’ve(23f) been seeing this guy(24m) I met on an app for about 4-5 months. We hanged out very frequently at the beginning, and he showed a lot of interest. I have to admit this took me by surprise cause for some reason I’m not used at getting a lot of (romantic) attention, and I maybe I tried to ignore or downplay some of the actions he had towards me.
I want to be clear that I don’t have a lot of dating experience, and as far as I know neither does he. But I tend to keep my guard up when I’m beginning to meet new people, so I don’t end up in uncomfortable situations, I try to be cautious.
Once we had the conversation of “what are we” and he told me that he rather we were just friends. I was really surprised cause I thought things were going in a different direction. He told me that he si don’t feel a “spark”.At that moment I told him I wanted a relationship not a friendship. I was prepared to say goodbye to him but we talked it out a few days after. He told me he felt a lot of affection towards me but he’s very indecisive and he didn’t want to loose me. I thought that since I had a hard time opening up we could use more time to get to know each other before deciding if we were to get in a relationship and just stated that we would be seeing each other exclusively and if any of us felt something we should say it.
After that we were pretty good for a while. We kept hanging out, he talked about me with a few of his friends, he even invited me to sleep at his place a few nights ( and I told him eventually I might, since I’m not comfortable yet with that) and once even said that he loved me ( although in a very low voice and while being half asleep so I don’t know if it counts)
Lately, due to finals and life in general we haven’t been able to see each other that often. I believe this to be normal but I also started to feel like the guy was pulling away, taking longer and longer to answer my text or sometimes just ignoring them.
We met a few days ago and he brought the subject. Once again he told me that he really liked me, but he doesn’t feel that thing that he believes to be love. I had realized a few days prior that I in fact had feelings for him, and I was sure I couldn’t be his friend because that would make me extremely sad. We talked for a bit, trying to find a way to resolve this and not loose each other. He even said that. Although he felt very disconnected from me in the last couple days, that day he felt something again. He proposed to give us “space” for a week to think about it and talk after that. I know I also can be indecisive, and bad at expressing my feelings but I disinterested feel like I’m a week any of those feelings where magically going to change. So we mutually decided to end things.
I’m sad. I’m mad at myself because I feel that maybe if had been more open things might have been diferent. I’m also still really confused. How can you have affection towards someone, want them in your life ( he said wanted to be friends cause he didn’t wanna loose me ) but not feel love towards them?
I really have a hard time understanding his true intentions. I don’t believe him to be a bad guy at all, really indecisive and with low emotional maturity maybe yes, but not a bad guy. I’m not going to keep Persuing him but still I’m puzzled.
Anyways, if you read this very long rant could you give me some insight if you been in a similar situation. What do you think went trough his mind? Was he lying about his feelings? Was it my fault?

Now I know how this sounds, a game company that couldn’t hold their promise or give us the game we’ve wanted for years and lied straight to our faces about what was to come. But I feel like the game (The Day Before) actually had potential for what it was. I played it solo and can say there's no other game that gives the same feel. I wish they would've accepted the feedback they received and followed through to making it what the people wanted. If they would’ve milked the whole early access thing like every other game and had just kept updating it, it could’ve got somewhere with the whole open world. $40 for a zombie extraction shooter that was PLAYABLE w/ friends that had PvPvE and you had your own ranch for whatever it was worth… vs having to pay $40-$250 (Tarkov) or $35-$100ish (Grayzone) for a game that constantly crashes and runs terrible. I like Grayzone but it’s absurd that Grayzone can stick out longer than The Day Before with how it plays (performance, bugs, crashes). Now we are left with no semi open world/zombie extraction shooter that actually played well. RIP The Day Before society killed you. You will be missed. Not by many, but by me…. I know there’s going to be backlash for this, I was just simply stating my opinion, nothing more :))

I was with my first love for 3 and a bit years, we met in late 2010 before we broke up 10 years ago in early 2014. We were young and in our early 20s back then, things just fizzled out.
I've always thought about her but eventually we went our separate ways, she got in to a relationship with another guy after me for a few years but eventually he ended up cheating on her, this was around 2017.
After her breakup in 2017 I confessed my feelings for her but we didn't go anywhere with it as she was still healing so I told her I need to cut her off at the point because I told her I was struggling to be just friends with her, to which she said that she was heartbroken that's it come to us parting ways. But we wished each other well and went our separate ways. I was really at my lowest at that point but have come a really long way since in terms of having a successful career and have improved a lot financially and mentally.
At the start of 2019, she did add me on social media but she didn't say anything to me so a few days later I ended up deleting her because I realised I still wasn't over her, I regretted deleting her afterwards.
At the end of 2019 I heard that she was engaged, she ended up getting married but then I heard she got divorced around a year and a half ago. A few monthds ago I found out that the reason for her divorce was because her husband cheated on her and was abusive towards her. They got divorced around early 2022.
As for me I did get in to another relationship with someone else but I was also cheated on so I have been single for a few years now, I have been evolving in my career and proud of how far I've come and have recently started a new chapter in my career. I considered getting in touch with her a few months ago but I noticed that she had cut off a lot of people from her social media so I wasnt too sure how she'd react to me adding her, I thought she'd reject me seen as she's cutting off a lot of people.
So around 3 months ago I took the plunge seen as I had nothing to lose and sent her a request on instagram, and she has accepted and also followed me back. She's been viewing my stories and a month ago I posted a life quote on my story which she liked, I haven't spoke to her yet. I posted a few pictures of myself which she hasn't liked but A few weeks ago I posted a quote on my story that said 'be the reason for someone's pain to turn into a smile', she liked that quote and also another one that I posted last week. It was my birthday a few days ago and she liked a birthday story that I posted on instagram. I'm limiting the amount of posts that I like of hers because I don't want to seem too forward.
I'm assuming she is single but not entirely sure. I added her 3 months ago but she deleted me, I was confused because she only liked one of my stories few days prior. I would have liked to see if there was future for us but don't think she's interested now, i have messaged her saying 'Hi, hope your well. I probably should have said something a long time ago but I didn't, my fault. I've been praying for you, today I realise I've been deleted anyways I hope your keeping happy and healthy'. She replied saying 'Hey I'm good thanks hope you are too, that is kind of you, I didn't expect this kind of message'.
I didn't really know what to say back to her, I still don't understand why she deleted me even though days before she was showing an interest in my stories before and now she's deleted me. I have just replied saying 'that's good. Sorry for catching you off guard with it, I wanted to reach out to you earlier. I'm glad your doing well though' and now she has replied back saying 'can I ask why?' I replied back saying 'It's been on my mind for a while to get back in touch with you, I didn't add you for no reason. But we don't need to if it's not something your comfortable with'. She has now sent a long message as follows: 'You don’t make me feel uncomfortable. I have thought about you over the years and wished you well.
I removed you because you have my ex and his family on your instagram and I removed everyone who has any contact with them. You will have heard that I was married there for a short period of time but it was hell and now I’m out of it I don’t want them knowing anything about my life, so I removed everyone who has any link with them. I didn’t realise till that day that you did. It was nothing to do with you personally.' .
Im not actually friends with her ex husband as he is just someone that lives nearby to me and we have never spoken so I have now replied with this: 'I'm sorry that you had to go through that, I hope your okay and I pray god brings you ease. I wouldn't exactly say I have anything to do with them personally though, only thing I know about them is that they're from my area too. It makes sense now and it's understandable why you did that.'
She has replied back again saying 'I'm great, God is the best of planners and it was the best thing for me. Even so, I removed everyone who had us both so sorry about that' and to which I have replied 'That's fair enough, I'm glad to hear your doing well though and that your at peace now. That's what matters most'. She had now asked 'how have you been, what's new with you?' I have just replied saying 'I'm not too bad thanks, life's changed a lot since we last spoke so there's quite a lot that's new lol'. That was few nights ago, and after that we were speaking generally about the holiday that I'm currently on and what to do as she has been here before too and she also asked how long I'm there for, it was in general a short and civilised conversation.
She ended the conversation 6 nights ago by liking my last message, I don't know if she plans to message me again as she did take a few hours to reply between each message, What are the chances that she'll message me even if we don't follow each other on instagram anymore. I am slightly anxious that she won't message me after this due to her deleting me because her ex is on my Instagram. Was thinking of just giving her space for a few more days, then deleting her ex and requesting her back in around a weeks time.

I've posted this last year and some things happened which made me quite proud and I'd like to share how things went. So recap and then update:
So... When I was little, I lived with my mom and stepdad, things were great and we were very happy. Then my mom passed when I was 7y, so I moved with my father and stepmom, things were complicated. Currently, I have no contact with him (he's not a good man nor a good dad), and I live with my aunt (since 2018) and her husband (he came along in 2019).
Me and my aunt had an amazing relationship, she was my favourite aunt and all that. However, things started to go wrong when I started living with her, I made the mistake of answering that yes, I wanted to be treated like her daughter along with her 2 sons (one my age and the other 3 years younger). I had a desperate "need" for a mothefather. She became a kind of "maunt" (mother+aunt), and her husband a "stepdad"... Oh how do I regret this
Well, she has a favourite son, the oldest. He's lazy, arrogant, disrespectful, a typical golden boy who got spoiled his whole life and now he doesn't give a damn about anything other than himself.
For being the other woman in the house, she constantly pushes house chores to me, instead of the boys (subconsciously, i believe), pretty much only asks me about things, where her sons are, if the dogs were fed, if the boys cleaned well whatever room they were supposed to, stuff like that, and she's also constantly very, very rude to me (at the point of her husband arguing with her about it). And I got this whole syndrome of everything being my responsibility and anxiety when it comes to her, which became extremely exhausting over the years.
I came out to her about my bissexuality about 4 years ago, i thought she would take it well. She didn't. She masks her disapproval, but she clearly doesn't like it. I was really let down, I genuinely thought she would be supportive and everything we expect, but she first got confused, then annoyed and has said some very hurtful thing over the years. Currently I have a gf (she's 22 years old), we've been dating for over a year. They don't like each other very much, my gf doesn't like her because of all the things she does to me. And my aunt doesn't care about my gf at all because... well, she a girl.
Ok, that's the context. Now here's what happened.
My aunt send some kind of agressive messages over something silly, and that caused my anxiety on fire for the gazillionth time, only that time I had enough. I called my other aunt (by consideration, she's married to my grandad) and asked for help (she knows everything that goes on), if i could move in with them, she said yes. I then replied my aunt with a text saying i had enough and would move in with my grandad. She got upset and said (among other things) that "i had her blessing to leave, even though i didn't ask for it". She called my grandma (we are very close), and my grandma sent me some awful audios of how disappointed she was, how I made my aunt sad, of what would people think, that i used to be such a sweet girl and now this, of how loving is a choice and i chose not to love my aunt, stuff like that. Aunt and her husband went to dinner with my grandad that night without my presence, and told them we had an amazing relationship, that she didn't knew what happened, that my problem was I couldn't take a "no" for an answer, etc.
Two days later, we sat down to talk, she told me to start, I said all I wanted. She then started saying how that kind of thing should not have been adressed through text (which I agree, but I had to text or I'd freak out), that she was harder on me than the boys because (in another words) the world was rough and she loved me the most.
And then her husband also spoke about how he understands both sides and blablabla, and said that i could go to my grandad, but that they felt like i should understand that i would only go because THEY allowed, if they didn't wanted, i would not go, no matter what my grandparents or aunt (grandad's wife) said. He basically wanted to state their power position.
(Since my mother's death, my whole family on her side feel responsible for me, so i see all of them in the same way. None of them are my mom and dad, they are in the same "level" to me and have the same "right"... Him saying that made me burn inside, like they're entitled to me, I don't belong to them or anyone. They're my aunt and "uncle", that's about it, they think they have something on me that they... Don't)
And then my aunt said that I could go, as long as I told my grandad about my sexuality and girlfriend. Now... He's kind of old fashioned and i'm scared he'll reject me... We have an amazing relationship, I have lunch with them every wednesday, and I'm the closest grandkid he has (the others aren't so invested). So I don't know if I tell him the truth and manage to leave (depending on his reaction) or if I don't risk it and stay in the toxic enviroment i'm in.
UPDATE - 14/05/2024
Hello! So, things got much worse before they got better. Let's give them names so the story telling will be easier, let's call my girlfriend Bea, my aunt Leah, her husband James and my "aunt" (my grandad's wife) Rachel.
I basically swallowed my anger because I couldn't bring mysef to speak to my grandad about my sexuality, my grandparents are the most important people in my life as they've always been there for me and I was terrified to be disliked by him. That was until december.
Early december I was leaving for work and before I left, I tried to "notify" my aunt that Bea would be spending Christmas and New Years with me and my siblings (note: my siblings had been looking forward to her being there, specially my brother and my SIL (Luke and Lyla), they made it a question that she'd go. I have 3 paternal siblings, so there's NO relation between them and my aunt Leah. We'd be staying in a city 3 hours away from mine at my brother and SIL's house, every year we do this). She immediately said "you know I don't like this", I said "yes", she then said "good morning" and I left for college.
The next morning, I was eating before going to work and Leah started talking about it and we started a conversation that developed into a fight. She said things like how dare I "notify" her, how that's not how things work and that it would not happen because THEY (she and James) don't feel confortable with this, how THEY think Luke wouldn't like this because "no one likes to have people over for a week" (he and Lyla were super pumped for Bea to go), how THEY don't know my girlfriend enough (come on, we had been dating for over a year already), how THEY wouldn't like me going with her to a stranger's house (in complete disregard to my point of view, it's my freaking brother, whom they met a couple times btw, not a stranger. But to them, the only meaninful point of view was theirs). She had even called my brother to basically "check my story", like?? She also said that we we're only teenagers (seriously, 22 and 20) , and I said "no, she isn't and neither am I!", she said she didn't say Bea was, I then said "and neither am I", she said I was, because I didn't act like and adult, then I got mad and talked about how I do literally everything around the house, always walk the dogs even when I get home tired at 10PM, even though they got there at 7PM, I help with groceries purchase, pay the water bill, clean the house, do the chores her boys lack to do, and when I'm not home, I'm either at work or college, but when she disagrees about something, she just puts me back in the "teenager box". And in the end, she said that my raising was not like this, this made me laugh in anger inside, she's been with me for 5 years, I'm 20 lol.
So that was it, I left for work and got a text from her, apologizing for being rough, saying that she loved me and wanted it to work, that they wanted to talk to me when I got home. I replied saying the same.
Later that day when we were all home, we gathered in the living room, I was literally against the wall and it intimidated me deeply. James started saying how much they loved me and wanted to see me happy, as they want that for all their children (aunt Leah has 2 boys, my cousins, and James has 3 girls). I then talked and expressed how I was feeling, then Leah started talking and basically said in a nicer tone the same things she said earlier, plus how they want me to be happy and want things to work for me, but they think it's too soon, they believe it's not the right time, they they, and therefore, despite being against what they want, I could take Bea, but only in ONE of the two holidays, which I could choose. I was in a bit of a shock (you see, me and Bea had bought the bus tickets a while earlier), had no support, against the wall, I was feeling purely defeated and tired, I only said "Christmas then...", she then said we would sleep in separate rooms and would not go on the 22th after work because "she had already allowed an extra night by allowing her to stay there until the 25th". I stayed in silence, they asked if there was anything I'd like to add, I said no. It wasn't a conversation, in no moment did they actually listened and considered me, they had their minds set way before we sat to talk. I went to my room and rolled all night in pure anxiety. This was thursday
Friday I was a wreck and went to Bea's house to check on her (she was sick that week) and to talk to her about what happened. She noticed something was off, I told her, she got mad and sad, we cried, etc. I went home feeling awful, my anxiety had been 100% all day long and I was in a really bad place and feeling deeply frustrated.
Saturday I woke up worse and decided that I had enough and was not having that anymore. I went outside and called grandad, talked about how I wasn't feeling well and asked what did he think about me leaving home, he said that their doors were always open and that I could just tell my aunt that "I was going to live with my grandad and that was it". I reframed the question asking what he though about me leaving to live alone, he then got worried and said that he didn't think that was necessary, that I had them and didn't need to do that. He then asked me to come over and talk to him and aunt Rachel. I accepted and told aunt Leah I'd sleep at grandad's.
I got there and ate a bit because I didn't want them extra worried, although I felt like throwing up at every bite. Everyone went to sleep and so did I. I woke up a bit later feeling worst, that's when I started to throw up, there was barely anything in my stomach and all I could do was throw up.
The next morning I was better and had already told aunt Rachel about what had happened, she found it absurd how things went (she had met Bea a while back and they clicked very well) and was upset about the things aunt Leah said. I decided to talk to grandad, I couldn't disappear with the subject again, specially now that he was worried sick about me.
So... I sat on the couch and told him what was happening, explained everything, told him that I'm like his stepson's MIL (she's married to a woman. It was the easiest way I found to introduce the topic), told him everything. He asked what I wanted him to do about it, I said that I just wanted him to still love me the same and remain normal with me, that I am still the same person and have always been this way, he just didn't knew about it, but that it changes nothing about me. Aunt Rachel then joined us and asked what he was thinking about it (she knows everything and is amazing to me), he said he wasn't pleased, but that it was my life and he had no say in it and that I should do what's right for me, said that if I wasn't gonna change, then neither would he. But basically, he got much more worried about my mental health than my sexuality, he said that the doors were still open and always would be for me, that he thought I needed a home and thinks they can offer me that. Aunt Rachel said that they wouldn't be obsessive after me, demanding to know every step I take and bossing everything like Leah did, that I have my graduation, I work, make my own money, am responsible, have my own life and am not a child, I'm a 20 year old adult and they would treat me as such.
So that was it. I went back "home" muchhh more confident and waited until nightfall because everyone was having a good time and I didn't want to spoil that. I realized aunt Leah and James were awake and went to talk to them, and that, my friends, is when hell went loose.
I started by saying I talked to my grandad about Bea and my sexuality, Leah asked how it went and I said it was great. Then I said they could talk to him (since they wanted to "decide" with him about my going), she said ok and asked when I wanted to go, I said that it could be in the same week since I was on vacation from college, she frowned, stood firmly and said "you know this won't change our decision about the holidays, right?" then it went boom, I said I didn't agree with them and that it wasn't right for them to dictate about such things. Told them their values and beliefs don't have to be mine, Leah asked "WHY NOT?", then I replied "because I have my own!".
Told them they were controlling and that made their kids lie to them, that since they liked to compare raisings (they criticized Bea's mom's raising because she gives her kids freedom to live their lives and fully trusts), then fine, I went on to say how Bea and her mom have an amazing relationship, full of love and trust, how Bea turned up great, works hard, just made it to psicology at university, helps immensely at home, and so has her sister. As for theirs? They raised their kids poorly, they are overbearing and that makes their kids not trusting them and lying a lot because of this necessity of them to control everything. I stated that the raising they gave their children was not my own, that I had multiple raisings and that no, they didn't "raise" me, I'm 20 and they've been with me for 5 years. Said that was clear, just look at the difference between me and her boys (I won't delve into this bit because it's not relevant, but the difference is nitid).
They said I couldn't take a no for an answer and that was my dad's fault, I said they didn't know what they were talking about, I know how it actually went whilst they made a story in their heads and believe it's the truth, since I knew how my dad used to tell my family one thing and do another.
They (again) said they wouldn't treat me like an adult because I did nothing to behave like one, I said that they didn't treat me as I deserved and they would always put me in the "teenager box" whenever I acted differently to what they thought was right (but I was adult enough to lend James almost 1k without Leah's knoledge lol).
She obviously tried to blame Bea, saying she was putting things in my head and that the last conversation was fine and now I was throwing a fit, I said that I said nothing else then because I felt cornered and realized it wasn't a conversation, it was them simulating one only to tell me what they were going to all along.
I told them they didn't know Bea because they didn't want to and I wasn't confortable bringing her as it was an enviroment unwelcoming to her, she then asked if i would go another year like this until I "felt confortable", I said yes, if that's what it took, that I didn't really need to introduce anyone if I didn't felt comfortable to it.
She once demanded to go meet Bea, after throwing a fit at my BIRTHDAY because Bea planned a day for me and my MIL wanted to make me lunch and they weren't invited, it was super uncomfortable. My aunt described this day as uncomfortable, in this argument I said "and about that day you guys met Bea and her mom? It was uncomfortable? OF COURSE it was, I TOLD you it would be! I told you that was barging in and no one wanted it!". Which Leah said that no, that wasn't the uncomfortable part, the uncomfortable was how Bea was "daring her, being all over me and kissing me in front of her, that she had to be respected!".... Lol, the being "all over me" was me shaking from the anxiety and Bea holding me to keep me in my feet, the "kissing" was ONE greeting kiss. And Bea did nothing "daring" towards Leah, believe me, if she had, aunt Leah would definitely know lol.
At the end, they asked if I was taking Bea, I said, yes, Leah said no, since she called my brother and told him how "things would go down" (amazes me everytime I remember this, she wanted to dictate how the holidays would go IN SOMEONE ELSE'S HOUSE). Lol, my brother was just texting me saying how Bea could go spend the whole holiday and we'd just say she left after Christmas. So it wasn't a very good argument on Leah's end. I said it was my business and I was sorry, but it was MY brother, MY family, MY relationship, MY life, and it wasn't up for them to dictate on it, they shouldn't feel comfortable or uncomfortable since it had NOTHING to do with them, and that my family who mattered in this were not only comfortable but very excited for Bea's presence.
I told them I knew I wasn't wrong since grandad and aunt Rachel agreed with me, so they could go ahead and talk to them if they wanted to. They ended up showing me their tumb and I left for my room.
Aunt Leah left to grandad's house in like, 5 minutes, cried to him and all. She got back, went in my room and in an ironic tone, said "sorry, I know I'm not your mother, stay with your raisings, I'm just glad and relieved my father wasn't as ok as you thought (her saying this seriously hurt me), he accepted for reasons ans beliefs he has, so go ahead and pack your bags this week, you're free to go. Sorry for the flaws, I was trying to get it right, be careful when you take that sticker off, don't ruin the painting." aaand she left.
The next day, grandad came and we took 90% of my stuff and I started officially living with him and aunt Rachel. Christmas was a bit awkward (my maternal family does this early Christmas so everyone's free on the 24th), but I was glooming feeling like the weight of the world had left my shoulders.
So... I went with Bea to spend the holidays with my family, my siblings, my SIL's parents and even my 1 year old nephew absolutely adored Bea, they now ask about her even before asking about me lol. My paternal grandmother loved her and was amazing, told my aunt (her daughter) that Bea was adorable and loving. It was amazing and I cannot imagine 2023 Christmas and New Year without Bea with us, she added sooo much.
Recently we've been to Luke's and Lyla's at Easter and made Easter eggs together, watched movies, went out, went to a family gathering where Bea, my uncles, cousins and grandmother (who was really happy to see her since Bea couldn't go to her birthday because she had to work) all got along really well.
We see each other frequently, living with grandad and aunt Rachel has been amazing, I'm finally gaining weight! MANY people have noticed it and it quite frankly scared me a bit, I had no idea it was so evident. But yeah, I'm doing great!
Grandad isn't ready to deal with this, so we don't talk about it. He doesn't like it and doesn't really understands, but he's doesn't meddle. Grandma (maternal) texted these days wanting to meet Bea (finally!), since she found out through aunt Rachel that me and Bea are still together and going strong for 1 year and a half already. I think she took it seriously now.
Anyway, it was hell, lol. But things turned out alright! Thank you for the people who commented in my first post, it was nice reading the comments and taking the options into consideration!

Who wants to help me test a prophecy 💀 Tbh I just need group energy It’s one of those lost prophecies, ya know, one of those lost due to racism trying to destroy at least one race just so another could conquer in freedom
Okay, so, do you know what a false prophet is? Usually someone designated a liar through another religion destroying another. Me? I’m multiracial, if anything (get a load of this guy, thinking he’s all that when there’s so many others), there’s prophecies surrounding multiracial people as most “modern” leading prophecies conclude themselves with all races being peaceful with awareness of warfare and such to stop when need be. I got genetic information, that leads to information conglomeration, in the correct circumstances of which I speak, that doesn’t make me a prophet, not to me, plus I don’t claim religion, haha
To me, prophets don’t exist as foresight is natural gift, so if you would like a singular leader designated foresight person for everyone, good luck not having a pawned controlled system, like yeah, leaders are great, but there’s male and female, naturally, otherwise herms, naturally (I will not speak for others as I have not delved that way, I am fine with they/them though so long as they recognize their natural place as to not upset the natural balance and force others into usually unnecessary relationships, but aye, being poly can be fun -or a time waster when no one is mature, not my first choice).
Ok so. Working out the kinks. Foresight has some to do with time travel, the natural form of time travel instead of purely mechanically led. So. I need a group of people. This is a stupid idea just putting online, but due to the government (and others) and how they’ve treated people trying to help others, healthily, in the past, I’m making this public because they also have people working on this. My goal is timeline ordinance, so like everyone 2000 and after can be born still, so no, I will not disperse this information to anyone older than the birth year of 2001 or likely younger than 2008, I am sorry (time travel part not the foresight), but if you do manage to figure, please, be cautious of the information paradox.
If my theory holds correct, the Jesus dude did what I am, or, time is consequential, so there is, regardless, a Jesus figure, or multiple (just not how most think). I will not go further into this part, y’all figure that on your own. I am not claiming to be that guy, just stating theory.
Okay so, I need those in places where they are most likely to be born regardless, as the information paradox can seep memories or lock others in their own and change current events.
We are to not change anything. We may save the lives of those we lost yes, but we risk losing our time frame, this is the point of meditation. We don’t need time terrorists. Our goal is to figure the best probability of keeping everyone alive without stopping others from being born, but don’t worry, if they aren’t born, they still exist.
Emotional health is needed to get anywhere with this so if you’re some regular power hungry person, it won’t work.
Now, the important thing to note, is that you can mind swap with someone doing this, so you can accidental trade bodies, but if the will is strong enough, well, classic “it’s not me but I’m still here if you help me remember and emotional trigger me” if the process works.
In the future, they have some time barriers to stop people from doing this stuff unless they are healthy, so in our current events, they are watching. We can project ourselves through time, our level of awareness designates how. I’ve had this information for a long time so you can’t get rid of me by trying to leave me out, or taking me out now, you seriously have to wait until anyone within my relative time frame, is dead. So the public, use this information to remember.
Obviously I won’t reveal the entire plan since you can clearly think of all of it at this point, should be able to. This is only if I decide to go back, like this is my decision to make, unless someone else remembers. You need to know your psychology, all of it, otherwise you will repeat all of your choices you have made. This is not meant for those who don’t have a will to fight back or stay living for others. This is not meant to be a display of power?
I seek not war but health. I seek not vengeance but an avenger. I seek not lies but the truth. I seek not hate but love. I seek not worship but recognition. I seek not religion but spirit. I seek not fame but fortune. I seek hot hearts willing to sear those who would pain unnecessarily. I seem to seek what most seem to avoid so openly.
To avoid conflict, I will keep this subject to America. Anyone who try’s using this information without contacting me after seeing this hasn’t earned, I earned. Aight, let’s see if my first therapists med recommendations are helpful or if I’m just crazy bc I predicted a 2026-7 war with America the other day and then I got a YouTube notification from Infographics saying “German Intelligence Warns Russian attack on Nato 2026” not even an hour ago. If this post affects anything, in minimal standards, it’s prolonged or sped up, maybe on schedule for some.
Lol let me know who made it through. I will not be accepting obvious non multiracial applicants to avoid racial war. I will not accept anyone affiliated with government protocol unless you straight up tell me how and, or I can clearly see. I will not be sharing my personal information of how I look to avoid fake outs, but I will ask of yours to confirm you’re real about sharing intention. No, I do not have this stuff written into any computer format, it is entirely useless getting information anywhere but here from here on, I have no socials besides YouTube, Xbox and Spotify, and this.
I will continue posting, if I stop for more than a month, something happened, the longer it goes, well, should be obvious given three main options lol
If you get lost, some emotions will make you remember a little bit. Chances are we wont make it, as I am supposed to have a wife in the process for an emotional way finder.

I realized recently that I kind of use Reddit as a diary. The place to share things that I wouldn't normally be able to and reflect on what I have been through.
So welcome to my mind I guess, and I find someone talkative and animated amazingly attractive. I've had a problem on here recently of people barely talking to me after they reach out, and I have to wonder what the point of online dating is if you barely say a word while the other says everything else.
I'll write 3 full paragraphs and get "Oh okay that's cool" and nothing else.
GIVE ME DETAILS GIRL :D
It's honestly super important to me because on the talkative and extroverted scale I am very high up and basically spend all day just trying to experience new things and talk to people where I can.
I absolutely LIVE for a good conversation and find myself growing stressed and bent out of shape if I find myself isolated. I often annoy or overwhelm quieter, more shy folks so I want someone to match my energy and have the type of relationship where we stay up until 3 in the morning doing absolutely nothing but sharing stories and flirting when you find a real connection.
Everything you have to say to me would be important even the most mundane of stories and you would be my priority.
I wouldn't call myself clingy and I realize you have a life, I don't want to know what you're up to all the time and I won't keep tabs on you. But realize I genuinely care about what you're life is like, and find great joy in spending time with someone and if you can't make time for that then what's the point of being together?
Maybe I just want someone to adore me as much as I adore them. Someone I can build a future with and gives me motivation and happiness.
I don't really have an idea of what you would look like. I don't really have a "type" whereas most men seem to have a list of traits their ideal woman should have like a coffee drink or something. Hair color, eye color, and nationality never mattered to me though I do find shorter women more attractive (I am six feet tall myself). Hopefully you're not old enough to be my mother or so young it would be creepy.
I want to slow down and relax with someone and be stupid together. Go out and explore the world because shared experiences are always so much more special in my memories than ones where I was alone.
I've been working too hard and been too on my own lately so I dare you to make me stop and think for a moment.
I got time I promise.

*Management style:
Not democratic/participative. Not transformational. Not Coaching. Very much Autocratic/Authoritative/Coercive. Sometimes Laissez-faire. Style depends on the department.
*Chain of command:
The ministry is seen as a church by top management. Top management are the “elders” and the CEO is the Senior Pastor. Then there is everybody else. So, confidence is put on their positions of authority. They are, in all sense and purposes, the “spiritual leaders”. They present themselves as having spiritual authority and, therefore, as being entitled to receive immediate agreement and unquestioned compliance.
Also, there are multiple management layers or chains which this quote sums up as well:
"When you become an admiral, you never have bad meals and you never hear the truth. there are all these layers of management and buffer layers and each one is afraid to tell unpleasant truth to the top levels.... “
Not a culture of authenticity where everyone on the team, including management, is encouraged, and expected to be who they are. There is a sense that top management puts up a false front, they seem to want to appear perfect. Illusions of invulnerability exist. They always lead well, they always make the right decisions, they never admit mistakes, etc. Want people to think they got it all together- all rainbows and lollipops. Do not exhibit vulnerability. Toxic positivity is also very much present: Everything is seen as “awesome”. So, there is judgment if you have a bad (not "everything is awesome") day.
The vertical chain of command, results in less collaboration, slow communication, lack of career growth, feelings of subordination, and decreased employee empowerment. Top management sets the rules and standards without any input from the “bottom” employees. Employee questions, concerns or ideas have to go up several steps of the chain of command so that upper management can address or approve. The bottom employees do not have the ability to make decisions related to their work or a particular situation. So, not everyone feels equal.
So, if you are not a spiritual leader, you are just basically told to submit and listen to those who are in authority over you because they are the people that “hear from God” and you are not and so whatever they say goes. And they set up a scenario where they basically kept those of us who were not spiritual leaders dependent upon them.
Many in management are overconfident and overestimate their abilities. They have a simple idea of how things are and how things work. Unfortunately, they make decisions that impact entire departments without gaining the needed knowledge.
The chain of command and lack of ongoing training also results in many employees being promoted so much that they max out their competence and will remain there until they leave or are let go. So, you end up with many in the role of management that lack the training and competence of the respective department. So, employees with the most authority are often not the most experienced and not adept in the particular field leading team members. And employees with the most experience and skills and knowledge and wisdom have the least (or no) authority.
Good leaders don’t always claim the “leader” title. Oftentimes, good leaders are those with more understated temperaments. Leadership is as much about listening as it is about telling. However, people with the most open and receptive personalities often do not have much authority.
Also, how the chain of command should operate when there is a unit that acted without proper authorization, it is not a junior authority who’s going to bear a responsibility for that, but somewhat of more senior status. And that’s true in any military or business or ministry operating by a code of ethics. So, if someone at the bottom of the chain is struggling, failing, or making mistakes, those at the top of the chain bear full responsibility. Everything stands or falls on leadership. Unfortunately, the chain at FCBH is not two directional.
There is also a sense that top management promotes employees who are least-competent but pose no risk to their own position (in-group bias) to management.
*Feedback:
Work environment or culture is not set up for employees to give honest feedback/opinions or to deliver bad news or to question or disagree with management.
Sample bias is also common. Management will send an email asking for feedback but they won't consider how only the people who are open to talking and sharing their opinions will participate while others won’t. Bias arises because employees with specific characteristics (e.g., extroverts) might be more likely to agree to participate than others, making the participants a non-representative sample. People with strong opinions or substantial knowledge about a specific topic may be more willing to give feedback than those without. Management does not follow up to determine why they are unresponsive or follow up frequently to reduce attrition.
Management claims they want to hear from employees, but they only want opinions and ideas on matters that are superficial or trivial. So, few employees give candid feedback on important and significant matters.
Top management does not involve employees in the change process when changes occur.
Management does not ask for honest feedback on their leadership or on decisions that are made that affect employees. Management will not ask how they are doing as leaders, what employees need from them. No regular check-ins or 1:1 on employees’ professional and personal well-being. Are employees stressed, disappointed or feeling burdened physically, emotionally or spiritually? No growth and career discussions.
Management will ignore most feedback, comments, suggestions even when it's common knowledge but will adamantly listen to employees who preface with "God told me to tell you..." Or “I felt God say …” or “God spoke to me and said…”
For example, management started focusing on Gen Z only after a few people claimed that “God told us that Gen Z are important for our future business growth.” In another instance, someone said “God gave us this word: we as a ministry need to really consider how everyone is wired, how each person is different. How people have different personalities.” Then, management affirmed this “word from God.”
If one employee brings something up to management it is often ignored and the employee is gaslighted. If two or more employees bring the same thing to management, then God is communicating something and they take it seriously (per Matt 18). Even if it is just coincidence or frequency bias.
*Groupthink/Conformity:
Groupthink, confirmation bias, in-group bias, illusions of unanimity, and self-censorship is very prevalent in the culture and especially in their meetings. There is a lot of direct pressure to not question, to conform, to agree with the views and personal convictions of the top management. Employees condemn those who disagree or question top management and they accept those who agree, creating immense pressure for conformity.
So, many employees frequently remain quiet, preferring to “keep the peace” rather than disrupt the uniformity. Employees are pressured to hide problematic information (especially from top management).
*Disagreements/Different perspectives:
Top management will also point out the working and living conditions of international employees to “encourage” local employees to not “complain” or give critical feedback or bring up legitimate problems (e.g., fumes or loud noises from construction in the building).
Management also often commits the "ends (or goals or vision) justify the means" fallacy: the work, the production and distribution of bibles (the ends) being done is more important, so employees shouldn't complain at all about the means or their working conditions (broken chairs, broken or inadequate equipment, poor work-life balance, bad management).
And, if management disagrees with you, with your observations, feedback, suggestions, or theology, they will often try to trump you with spirituality or vague meaningless spiritual terminology instead of using Scripture (properly interpreted), facts and reasoning.
In addition, top managers will take great offense when employees question or disagree with the directions and decisions they make. Dissent is not welcomed. Respectful debates/disagreement is not encouraged. Open discussion and alternative perspectives are not encouraged. Management does not value, support, or respect diverse opinions and ideas. They do not actively seek out different viewpoints. Do not allow people to speak their perspective, their thought of mind. So, there is no psychological safety. Employees do not feel comfortable expressing dissenting opinions without fear of retribution or judgment. Afraid of breaking the little glass image. People do not feel comfortable sharing setbacks, mistakes, failures. Management does not encourage open communication. Management often seeks agreement, instead of posing honest questions that challenge the status quo and provoke critical thinking and discussion. They do not encourage employees to challenge them. In fact, they are seen as a type of complaining or critical feedback and so are viewed as sin. This makes top management seem self-centered.
*Appeals to emotion: Guilt and Shame:
Top management often shares their personal opinions and convictions (e.g., spending money only when absolutely necessary, not accepting large gifts, not buying fancy items) as something everyone should do. It’s never direct. It's always through stories. Management loves stories. The personal convictions of management are presented as more than preferences.
For instance, top management encourages extreme frugality and poverty through their personal anecdotes #loudbudgeting and stories from international cultures. Think along the lines of: “we, here in America, have no right to be sad or to complain about things or to request better things or ask for accommodations or for more employee engagement because others (internationals) have it much worse.” Even wanting better equipment and supplies or asking for better working conditions is frowned upon (in some cases seen as a sin), even if your request helps you to do your job more effectively and makes the work better (a new whiteboard, a new office chair, better computers, etc.)
Example: “You should really try to come in to work even if you feel bad, even if you are snowed in and the roads are hazardous because people need to get our bibles. And our international employees work in much harsher conditions.”
You also get this feeling from the way they communicate that top management would rather not pay their employees. They would prefer it if everyone just worked for free because “we are on a mission from God. We are doing the Lord's work.” There is also a sense that employees should be more than willing to sacrifice their well-being, career goals, financial goals, personal goals for reaching people with their Bibles.
Leadership sets the example and expectations, so this all ends up making employees confused and feeling guilty and ashamed. Guilty and shameful about asks, spending money (even their own). Guilty and shameful about having nice things (new car, new phone, new tv), about making needs known, about sharing concerns regarding work, about asking for raises to keep up with cost of living, etc.
Example: An employee has continued to use an old whiteboard. It is so old it is hard to read and difficult to erase. Management likes to tell donors: “We don't spend money on everyday things like whiteboards…. Instead, we use that money for more bible recordings, for people to hear about Jesus.”
This also causes confusion. Every few months there is a meeting where management discusses how sitting on stores of money is bad, but spending it is also bad, but also not spending it is bad... "Being rich is bad. Money is bad. let's not accumulate money, that's bad. We must think about how people will see what we have. So we should look poor and not appear too frivolous." But top management is okay with receiving gifts from donors and other ministries. Management personally does not like to have nice “fancy” things, and as a ministry, they say FCBH should also not have nice fancy things, they should use the money for other more important things. They don't like when other ministries use their money for nice fancy things, but it's okay if other ministries give FCBH nice fancy things like tote bags, key chains, mugs, phone holders, lunch bags. Another example, it took them years to repaint the parking lot. It was at the point where people did not know where to park. Before repainting, management decided to remodel the hallways and install posters and multiple monitors with language stats.
There is also a subtle sense that producing audio and video bibles is the highest calling one can have. And it's implied that FCBH is the main means God uses to fulfill the great commission: “God needs FCBH to do these bible recordings or people (specifically unreached internationals) will go to hell.” So, top management hints that working anywhere else isn't really serving God (or at least, not serving God as well as one could if they worked somewhere else). They imply that working at this ministry is the only way to truly serve God and fulfill your calling. They also use this framing to guilt and shame employees into not quitting. Management implies that employees should not take opportunities to leave or take other jobs because getting the Bible to people is God’s highest calling for us as Christians:
“If anyone leaves FCBH, then they must not really understand the vision/calling. They are not committed to saving people. We should be willing to give up things to fulfill the calling. The apostles did not pursue better jobs and so God will provide if we need better pay, benefits, career. For those of us who join the ministry to hold true to get God's word to every person, it takes discipline because we have opportunities to do other things. I'm sure that Noah had problems with Builders because he probably had hundreds of people not thousands working on the ark. They started their own businesses and started side things going on. pretty soon they'll have no time to work with him on the ark. and you can have all kinds of diversionary things happen. and so we want to understand they focused in the ministry. and that's been one of the things that I've really tried to do is what did God tell me at the time this ministry began because I was not interested in this ministry. I was interested in living by faith and experiencing God through people and seeing people experience God. and when I was praying about that here in Albuquerque the Lord said bring my church together and make disciples. and then he also told me that when his people think the same they are one. so it's not a matter of getting rid of the buildings or the leaders but it's a matter of people thinking the same. They can go to different denominations, different buildings, have different teachers, and different preachers and leaders but once they think the same, they're one and that's what his objective was. and so that's when I felt like the Lord said get God's word to every person. So I'm challenging us to stay true to what God has called us to do. and every time somebody leaves the ministry there are reasons for leaving. but it startles me a little bit, because I think well we haven't, we haven't communicated the vision very well somehow because they didn't get it. like Noah building the arc. it it's a long project it's not a month or a year two years or three years. our immediate goal is 2033 and it means that we're committed to a cause. and that means some of us we give up something. I we've given up stuff we live in a small apartment and that's what we saw that God had us do and that's our lifestyle we we tone down our lifestyle to get the cause committed to the cause. and and I know that's difficult for some, in some cases maybe there's financial needs because of family growth and stuff there they just can't afford to work in the ministry. but sometimes it's a choice and every time somebody leaves it where it's actually a choice. I think we haven't communicated the mission very good the vision very good. I've been looking at is that could you imagine read reading the New Testament. and finding out that Peter about halfway through or Paul halfway through the ministry all of a sudden got a better job offer. and stopped their portion of the ministry they held the course no matter what happened. whether it was good or whether it was bad. Paul talks about this and sometimes we want to follow the Lord. but we don't impart on ourselves the same responsibilities that those disciples did. so when God Empower them is he empowering you in the same way. and you're making choices that maybe you shouldn't make that you will impart and say the Lord is leading me someplace else when in fact maybe it isn't. it's just a better offer. if the Bible in the New Testament was reading a little bit different than Stephen left the ministry at this point or James left the ministry at this point because of something I think we need to be very very careful and why I say that is that as we work internationally.”
SO, there is a lot of guilt and shame about leaving to pursue other interests or meet needs. Guilt and shame about wanting to leave to advance and develop professionally. For this reason, many remain “loyal” and stay at the ministry.
So there is lots of control and manipulation in the work culture.
*Weekly worship meetings:
These are mandatory and there are some legitimate concerns:
Top management seems to have misconceptions about true worship and worship experiences. They often reduce worship to singing by their communication, the way “worship” is used. Worship is seen as something we do on occasion - once a week, when we gather at work for the mandatory worship time. Top management, by ignoring other styles, seems to believe that there is a single style of worship which is correct for Christians.
And it seems like just about anyone can lead worship or be on the team: anyone that can play an instrument. Top management does not require a worship class or agreement to biblical principles concerning worship as a prerequisite for employees who desire to plan and lead worship experiences. So you end up with people who have different views/philosophies on the worship team. Unfortunately, many who lead do not take the time/effort to plan and lead worship experiences, to discern from songs that are better suited for individual or private worship from songs that are corporate or public worship, to discern songs that are controversial/questionable (have bad theology, weak theology), songs that are theologically ambiguous or songs that lean more towards “feminine” attributes. Most, if not all, of our modern “Christian” worship music is written at a simplistic level of understanding and comprehension. Most music tends to appeal to our emotions. Many songs appeal mostly to women. So there is a great need for teaching on the biblical principles concerning worship. Also a need to choose theologically balanced songs with music appropriate for the people. Unfortunately, many of the songs chosen are theologically incorrect (e.g., having elements from the Word Of Faith movement, New Apostolic Church, New Age). Songs are often not theologically balanced. Songs seem to be chosen for their emotional impact, to make employees feel good; many focus on just one aspect of God (e.g., love). Many promote self-centered worship.
Most of the worship leaders just sing the songs: They do not actually “lead” people into worship. They do not help people connect the lyrics of the song to where they are at in their personal life, to teach them something about God or help the people understand what this song means and what God wants them to get out of it, so they're not just singing songs and just doing, going through the motions or help them understand the depth and the richness of what lyrics mean and how it applies to their life. What matters to them seems to be whether songs are impactful, moving, and beautiful. (Whatever that means.) Whether songs make employees feel good. They don't seem to care whether the songs actually reflect truth: Do the lyrics line up with Scripture? Do the songs glorify self or God? How would new Christians or nonChristians interpret the song?
Theology is the study of God and it's very important doxology is an expression of praise to God so the point here is that all theologies should ultimately lead to doxology if theology doesn't lead to doxology then we've actually missed the point of theology so if you have theology without doxology you just have dead hold orthodoxy which is horrible. On the other side you have the people who say “forget about theology I just want to praise.” But if you have doxology without theology you actually have idolatry because it's just a random expression of praise but it's not actually informed by the truth of who God is so God is
concerned with both he's concerned with an accurate understanding of him and that accurate understanding of him leading to a response of praise adoration and worship towards him.
*Leadership quality:
Top management has more respect for donors and guests than their employees.
Management lacks basic core leadership principles/values:
Unfortunately, many employees are not given power or resources: Management just gives them the responsibility to get things done. Before responsibility is given, employees should be equipped: be empowered, have the authority, be given resources and have the experience. Employees are not empowered as individuals to solve their own problems using their own solutions. Micromanagement is often required every time the situation changes or problems arise. Employees are not inspired to act as leaders for themselves, delivering amazing performance without guidance. They have coaching sessions but only when there’s a problem. True coaching occurs regardless of whether the individual is crushing their goals or falling behind. Management does not seem to care about unlocking a person’s potential and getting the most of their performance. They seem only interested in producing more followers, not more leaders.
No method to hold management accountable to core values listed in their own Employee handbook. Employees are expected to abide by the procedures and rules described in the handbook but top management can choose to ignore it when it is convenient for them.
-Top management are NOT learners: No desire to develop and improve their skills.
-They do not ask employees: What’s one thing you see me doing—or failing to do—that you think I should change?
-They do not ask how they are doing as leaders. Or ask employees how they’re doing.
-They do not ask what employees need from management that they are not giving them.
-No performance evaluations for both management or non-managment.
-They often fail to emotionally connect with employees.
-They do not speak to employees' needs first.
-They do not focus on what they can put into people rather than what they can get out of them.
-They do not understand basic psychology, how people think and behave.
-They are often resistant to (and even hate) change: Perhaps because they fear losing control. In fact, new information, objective facts, research, stats, and even new ideas are often ignored in favor of what's easiest to do or because of tradition. If something has been done and “works”, top management does not see a reason to question it or to improve on it. If something was tried 5, 10, 20, even 50yrs before and failed, top management does not see a reason to try it again even if the exact circumstances have changed.
-They do not empower or give the means, the power or opportunity to do to employees.
-They do not trust others to follow through managing processes and performing tasks.
-They do not lead by example.
-They do not know when to move forward and when to back off, what to improve and how radical those improvements should be.
-They often fail to see options, and plan and prioritize.
-They fail to develop leaders around them.
-Their communication is often poor.
-Their listening is also poor: do not listen for more than facts, but also the feelings, meanings and undercurrents.
-They do not take the time to get to know the people they lead: no weekly check-ins which top organizations have to discuss how employees are doing professionally and personally. Management doesn't ask “what was good this week? What was not good this week? How is your well-being? How is your family?”
Competence in leadership skills is also poor.
-They are not teachable: not willing to keep learning, growing, improving in leadership and management practices: FCBH has a yearly “leadership” summit. But, the way it is set up, it reinforces weaknesses instead of challenging leadership growth.
The summit is also just for a select few in top management. Not every employee is seen as a leader so most employees are excluded.
Top managers attend the summit but there is no followup, no post accountability by other managers and especially by the employees that are under the managers. No discussion on how management will apply what was learned.
Some of the past speakers have had questionable characters and even questionable teachings (Judah Smith). Leadership qualifications and theological background seems to be ignored in favor of charismatics, dynamics, popularity.
-Top management does not take responsibility for their part of a disagreement or failure and apologize.
-They often embrace a victim mentality.
-They often limit yourself by your job title.
-They do not invest in better tools or processes.
-They are content with the status quo.
-They allow their past achievements to stagnate their desire to keep learning.
-There is a lack of discernment, finding the main cause of problems/issues.
-They do not anticipate problems.
-They do not accept the truth of the problem: Do not face up to the reality of the situation;
-They get bogged down in the details.
-They often avoid problems.
-They don’t deal well with problems.
-They do not have their team study all angles.
-They often do not value nontraditional thinking: Don’t embrace change, ambiguity and uncertainty well.
-They do not work well with differences.
-They do not have their own mentors or provide mentorship to others.
-They do not invest to improve their own professional or leadership skills.
-They are often insecure, constantly seek validation, acknowledgement and love.
-They limit employee's success and recognition:
-They do not seem interested in making people successful: Don’t attempt to remove barriers that prevent employees from being successful.

• They often feel threatened by accomplishments by employees who are not management:

If an employee who is not management has a great idea to improve the work, management often does not support it and may secretly try to shut it down.
When a team succeeds, management will not give other people credit and instead take the credit themselves.
It seems like some of the people working there were given the title of management, the position, and that alone made them qualified. Management or leaders assume that their position alone qualifies them to make critical decisions where they may not have the best data, insight, wisdom, skill, experience. Just because one may have the word “manger” in the job title, does not automatically make them a great leader. Leadership is about dealing with people, and the dynamics between those people, and influencing people.
*Dead end career path:
For the most part, top management assumes that team members are fine and "settled", rather than taking the time to understand their true feelings and needs. They do not ask employees where they are struggling, where they are having trouble, what frustrates them the most?
Management does not seem interested in making employees better both personally or professionally. They do not have a growth plan or professional development plan for employees. No job related training. They do not provide what is needed to help employees to grow and improve. They don't provide opportunities for employees to apply their talents and expertise. They don’t ask how they can better support employees. Employees don’t check on each other.
One is expected to work until health deteriorates and skills become obsolete so you leave in a worse place than you started. For most employees, there is no long term future with the organization. Management does not let employees know how they are doing and what the future looks like for them. What the opportunities are. They do not take the time to learn from employees what they want to be. No honest conversations to understand employees goals and ambitions. So, because there is no growth or development plan, no career path, once your skills are outdated, they will probably let you go or they will keep you in the same position and your salary will max out.
Management does not coach employees on how to manage their time, priorities, and energy; no teaching on how to problem solve, or make better decisions, or how to set boundaries or how to minimize context switching and zoom fatigue.

I, F26, never thought I would have to write on here. I am a single parent of a toddler. (Dad is not in the picture at all)
I have 2 order step sisters, and over the past 2 years things have got a little rocky, and I just can't wrap my head around it. I am going to try to put both stories in here, because I have a baby shower to attend, in less than 3 weeks. We will call the oldest sister, X, and the other sister Y.
So Y, got married in September 2022, long story short, her best friend told my sister I was talking rudely about her, and my sister believed her. I asked my mom multiple times if I HAD to attend the wedding, and she said no. So I already didn't want to go, I was not in the wedding, I was going through stuff at home, and she didn't want my ex boyfriend there. I reached out and told her I would not want any pictures taken of me or my kid, and she got mad and started saying I was a horrible mom for doing that to my kid. Which really made me not want to go, so I didn't.
We stopped talking for months. Fast forward to April, our grandma has a 70th birthday party. Which I also didn't plan on going, (I'm not close to my mom's side of the family) and even then, I had remember right when the party started, which is about a 30 minute drive, I had slept late that day because I was up all night with my SICK kid, so I wsd very much tired. So sister X sent me a LONG paragraph, after the party, 2 pages long, stating that "the least I could do is show up to a party since I constantly drop my kid off with the grandma) which I found weird because when she's in town, she drops her kid off there? Plus I pay my cousin. Anyways, the message went on to say "I never thought you would grow up to be such a sh*tty person" and "your kid is going to grow up to hate you so much for this" "you are just jealous of me and Y" then she made a comment about my cousin (who us no longer here) comparing his death to my parenting? I still don't understand.
Okay so sister Y has apologize since then, but after telling me how horrible of a mom I am and that "it's sad someone with no kids can tell you're failing as a mom" but whatever, I'm grown enough to hear your apology and show up for my mom's sake. Sister X has not apologized, and my mom tells me she will never plan on apologizing so I just need to accept it.
So, AITA for not wanting to be around either of my sisters? And AITA for keeping my toddler away from both of my sisters? Also, please send advice about this baby shower I have to attend and face both of my sisters 😩

Part 5
Gerard, God
Somewhere in time and space
He watched the passers-by as they moved about, following their daily routines, unaware of the fate that would shortly befall them. This was the time that fascinated Him the most. The moments before they finally understood that The Threat was here.
It was a sort of last hurrah, He thought. They didn't know it, but Gerard could nonetheless sense a sort of joi de vivre, a liveliness that simply didn't exist in prior times, and couldn't possibly exist in future ones. He watched mothers dote lovingly over their children, watched children hurl themselves into play with abandon, watched addicts take in their drugs like a drowning man would gulp for air. They might not known that there was no tomorrow for most of them, but they nonetheless seemed to put just a little bit of extra effort into everything.
Eventually, it came to an end, of course. It always did, no matter how many times He watched it. He saw happiness and mundanity give way to pain and suffering. Laughter was replaced by the screams of the dying. Life was replaced by death. The world replaced by destruction.
He sighed, leaving this timeline. He never watched the arrival of The Threat twice in the same timeline. There was nothing for Him to learn that way. His power was immense and total. He only had to witness The Threat once in each timeline to understand it.
Worst of all was the knowledge. The knowledge that He would only be able to save a single timeline. That all others would fall into ruin, destroyed and left to rot away. Only one could survive; the one that He chose. He could stop The Threat only once, for doing so would require Him to remain. Ever vigilant, ever ready to stop any recurrence.
He had to choose which timeline. That task was less than He feared, for now he knew that there were an infinite number of them. He could choose one with the right qualities, one whose nature would aid Him in His work. He realized then that He would, once He had chosen the proper timeline, finally watch The Threat come twice. Once, when He reviewed that timeline prior to choosing. And again, when He would stop it.
And stop it, He would. No other outcome was acceptable. He had already sacrificed too much. His mortality, His life, His happiness, His very soul itself. He had wrought Himself into a weapon, to strike down The Threat, and He would fulfill that purpose, no matter what.
----
Jerry Williams, Godslayer
Nibiru
We were sharks, swimming and darting among a school of fish. Gods and devas fled, screaming in terror as we flew through the swirling, chaotic energies that should have driven us -or at least my wife and daughter- mad within seconds. They had thought that their realm protected them.
Little did they know, we were already mad.
Inanna and I flanked a group of fleeing gods, preventing them from leaving this world, extending their essence into manifested bodies somewhere in one of the countless material worlds, or simply crossing the energy that was the core of their beings into the Spirit World. Here, in Nibiru, our divinities and demi-divinities gave us access to unlimited power. We seized it and wove nets with which to entrap those minor gods who could not find escape elsewhere, and had huddled here in fear of our coming.
As the group fled, we sped up, curving our course, which caused them to curve theirs, fearful of drawing too close to either of us. We moved slowly, carefully, angling them where we wanted them to go.
It wasn't long before the gaping maw of the Grandfather of the Gods came into view. Ixlublotl, the primordial god, the originator of divinity. The gods we herded realized their peril and turned to flee back the opposite direction, but there they found Aaina, burning towards them, screaming in rage and bristling with offensive energies.
Trapped, they had no choice. They attacked us. Emotions and thoughts, energy and matter, all of it flew at us in an orgy of sudden violence that churned the substrate of this world into a screaming chaos. All three of us linked our magics into a shield; a half-sphere of anti-magic that absorbed their attacks, sending the energy of which they were made back into into the swirling chaos around us.
They threw everything they had at us, a desperate last stand, driven by necessity and panic. All of it crashed against our defenses, the resulting streamers of magic filling the space around us with an all but impenetrable cloud. Hidden by that cloud, Ixy closed in.
By the time they realized that it was too late, it was over.
Ixy's physical body, that cloud-wrapped cacophony of maw-stalks, eye-stalks, spider-like legs and whipping tentacles, currently the size of a skyscraper, swept in, mouths snapping up the energies that were the cores of our quarry.
We came together when it was done. Inanna created a haven for us, allowing us to release the magic that held our bodies in stasis and protected us from the wild magic all around. It was a copy of our house, something she'd come up with a while back and shown to me with great pride. I had loved it, of course.
I sank into the loveseat with Inanna next to me as Aaina took the recliner.
"That's most of them," Aaina said.
"About thirty more," I replied. "And then we can start the next phase."
"Do either of you have any doubts about what we're doing?" she asked. I could see the indecision in her eyes. She was so young, and such a good girl. My heart broke at having dragged her into such dirty business.
"No," Inanna answered, her voice hard and confident.
"Yes," I added. "But at the end of the day, this is what needs doing."
Aaina looked back and forth between us, then nodded. None of us smiled.
----
Emily Windham, Wizard, Artificer
Fremont, Nebraska, at the corner of E 4th Ave and N Main St
Emily turned just in time to see the massive troll hit Jim Carmichael with a shoulder, sending the trooper flying before angling at her with no change in speed.
Acting on pure instinct, she conjured a wall of force between them. The troll slammed into it, shattering the magics that held it together with raw force, but the wall did its job, stopping the warrior in his tracks.
Emily snatched the rune-engraved knife off her belt and surged forward, jumping at the last second to put her in range of the troll's huge neck. The blade plunged in, and she released a quick burst of magic that made her legs and off hand sticky, allowing her to cling to the thing, too close for it to use its battleaxe on her.
She ripped the knife out and plunged it in again and again as the barbarian roared in pain and indignation at being hurt so badly by a foe so tiny. Emily grabbed his beard, yanking hard to bring his eyes to hers as she slammed the knife in and twisted, the magic in the blade telling her when it found his windpipe and carotid artery.
Blood sprayed, coating her face and shoulders. The troll's roars were cut off in a gurgling, breathy hiss. He stumbled, then fell. Emily rode him down, her eyes locked onto his, watching all hopes of victory, or even survival, fade from them. She lost herself in those eyes, in the mystery that was this troll's life, ending right before her. She saw the regrets, the crushed hopes, the shame of defeat and wondered at the context.
The impact as they hit the ground broke the spell.
Emily released the magic and stood up, instincts trained into her by the security troops and war wizards making her search for more threats before she could even process what had just happened. But there were no more threats. That had been the last one.
Greg Ramirez walked towards her, his rifle barrel pointed down, hanging from the sling in front of his armor and all the various attachments that he and the security troops referred to as their 'battle rattle'.
"Nice work," he said, eyeing the troll, who continued to gasp for air, the sound of his labored breaths reminding Emily of a pig squealing. She looked down, searching for that orgasmic feeling her bio-dad had so desperately wanted her to share with him, but not finding it. All she found was a sense of satisfaction, yet even that was too much.
Years of therapy, of telling her story to trained clinicians and listening to and internalizing their advice. All of it had helped her make friends and move among the normal people, but it had never erased that feeling of satisfaction. This was the fourth time she'd killed a sentient being, and each time, she felt the exact same way. It was a victory.
Her maudlin thoughts were interrupted by the bark of Greg's rifle. The troll's head jerked and deformed, a splattering of blood coming out as a .277 fury round drilled a hole straight through his temples. She glanced up to find Greg still eyeing her.
"You did good," he said, his expression showing some concern.
"I liked it," she said quietly, her eyes turning back.
"You liked killing him?" Greg asked. Emily nodded, wondering if she'd always be fucked up.
"I killed him," Greg said. "And I damn sure liked it."
Emily turned back, eyeing him with some interest. Greg was, in many ways, the opposite of her. Cool, confident, charming and just all-around well-adjusted. She hadn't ever imagined that he wound enjoy something like this.
"It means I won," he explained. "It means that big, badass motherfucker showed up here trying to bully us, and take whatever he wanted from us, and little old me stood up and said 'no', and when he tried to force the issue, I took his life away. It feels like justice. It feels like one less motherfucker trying to kill me and my friends. Damn straight I liked it."
Emily smiled. She didn't realized she had smiled until Greg smiled back.
"I read your psych eval," he went on. "I know you think you're fucked in the head, but I'm gonna tell you right now, you're not. You're a warrior, that's it. Bloodlust isn't a bad thing, if it can be controlled. Enjoying killing isn't a bad thing, if you're killing the people that need killing. Give yourself a break, girl."
He clapped her on the shoulder, then took the back of her head with his free hand and pressed her forehead to his.
"I'm gonna recommend you be allowed to join the war wizard roster. You're all trained up, you're prepared for it, and from what I've seen today, you're a fucking natural."
Without waiting for a response, he let her go and turned away, grabbing the radio fob on his armor and squeezing it.
"Black Lead, this is Black-Two Actual. All raiders at the target site are neutralized. We're commencing a sweep now, will report back in thirty mikes."
Emily smiled at his back as he walked away. A part of her reflected that he was a natural leader, knowing exactly what to say to her in that moment. Another part didn't care, because it worked. She glanced down at the troll again, and didn't see a victim.
She saw a victory.
----
Kathy Evenson, Professional
Somewhere in the ruins of an ancient city in the Seventh World
Kells shifted nervously as Kathy continued to cut chits from the electrical panel lid with the magical laser emerging from her fingertip. He held his machete, really a short sword, in one hand, and his dagger in the other.
"We really shouldn't be much longer, Kath," he said. Kathy had explained to him the difference between Kath and Kathy, and even hinted at the things she'd done while possessed by Pissface and calling herself 'Kath', and even gone into some detail about how much she hated the nickname. Kells hadn't cared. He simply agreed with her, then continued to call her 'Kath'.
And the truth was, she really didn't mind that much.
She wasn't quite sure why, though she could hazard a guess. The man was disarming to a great degree. He presented himself as a dirty wanderer, a simple, violent man who shouldn't be trusted as far as you could throw him. But within just a few minutes of meeting him, she'd seen the intelligence in his eyes and words. She had seen the integrity in his negotiations with her, and the ethics that had turned him protective when the Searchers had appeared.
And despite that protectiveness, he still managed to avoid being patronizing. When she'd told him how she planned to get his chits, he had warned her of the dangers, then agreed to come along without hesitation when she didn't change her mind. Kells was a good man, she thought, and if a good man wanted to call her Kath, she supposed she could let him reclaim the name from the hell it had once represented.
"It won't be much longer," she said. She already had over seven hundred, and this plate would bring her to eight hundred. She only needed five or six more. This deep in the ruins, there was an untouched electrical box on almost every building. Some had been corroded, but most were surprisingly intact.
As she cut the final strip into chits, a roar sounded. It was a gurgling, rasping roar, unlike anything she had ever heard before. Or rather, the first one had been unlike anything she had ever heard before. This was the third time she'd heard it, and it sounded closer than the last two.
"That's no good sign, right thur," Kells said.
Kathy finished, dumping the little squares of galvanized steel into her bag and standing up.
"Come on," she said. "We'll go a couple blocks away from whatever that was before I cut the next one."
"Aye," Kells agreed, his head swiveling on his shoulders as he followed her down the alley. Kathy took note of how spooked he was. He seemed more nervous here than he had with the Searchers right in front of him. She supposed that might have something to do with the nature of the threats. The Searchers were, regardless of power and reputation, mere humans. Whereas whatever was making that roar was clearly some sort of monster.
She led him six blocks in a direction away from the roar before she stopped to examine the buildings. They had moved into a downtown area, which was one of the reasons she had stopped. The buildings here were closer together, which should make the rest of her task quicker. She found a good cover and ripped the little padlock off, then pulled it open and off its hinges.
A mass of spiders rushed out of the electrical box. She jerked her hand away, but they ignored her, scurrying down the wall and vanishing into the cracks between the bricks, safe once again in enclosed darkness.
She began to cut as Kells again stood watch.
She hadn't even made it halfway through the panel when another roar sounded, even closer than the last, and from a different direction.
"Call it," Kells said. "Call it now, Kath. Better ye collect some more later on than deal with the beast makin' them sounds."
"What kind of beast?" Kathy asked. She kept cutting, but glanced up and around, not seeing anything but filthy, dilapidated alleys.
"Walkers, they call 'em," Kells said. "Like great spiders, but rottin' away, with bones stickin' out an' flesh hangin' off th'legs."
"Great spiders?" Kathy asked. "How big?"
"Bigger'n a building."
"You've seen them yourself?" Kathy asked.
"Only once," Kells said, his voice growing quieter. He seemed to be done speaking for a moment, staring around. But after a few seconds, he continued.
"Friend o'mine, name o' Gil. We used t'work together, he an' I. I were real new to runnin' a caravan crew back then, about ten years back. Gil were an old hand at it, though. Took me under 'is wing and taught me th'roads, as it were.
"Anyways, we'd taken a pair o' contracts. Rough ones, with a tight timetable. Merchants needed t'get to Freeman's Port post-haste. One faster'n th'other. Gil took that one, left me with the easier one, though that weren't t'say it were an easy job.
"We was in Craster's Holdfast at th'time, an smack in between there an' Freeman's Port were an ancient ruin. Big one, 'bout the size o' this'un, in fact. Normally, it took about a week t'travel between the two places, but if one were brave or foolhardy enough, they could cut through th'ruins an' make it in five days.
"Well, old Gil had that in mind. We left together, an' at th'place where ye normally would turn north t'go around the ruins, he led his caravan on straight. I prayed fer their safety that night, but never really believed anything would happen. Gil were an experienced caravaner, an' tougher'n anyone else I'd ever met.
"Two days later, we was walkin' this ridgeline north o'the ruins when somethin' called out t'me. Not sure what, exactly. I started lookin' south, scannin' the ruins, an' sure enough, I found Gil's caravan, walking down a wide road between th'largest buildings. They was movin' at quite a clip, I hav'ta say.
"I were tickled pink, at first. Because we'd made near as good a time as they had, despite movin' almost a day's north to skirt th'ruins. But as I watched, I realized that they weren't just travelin', they was runnin'."
Kells sighed, his eyes distant and full of old regrets.
"That's when I saw one. A great Walker, striding out o' th'deepest part o' th'ruins. The way it moved were like nothin' I ever seen before. It crawled along th'sides o' the ruins themselves, like a spider almost, but always with two or three feet on th'ground.
"It came fer th'caravan, and fell on 'em in a slaughter. I watched it breathe fire down on 'em, stompin' men flat with its feet an' scooping 'em up with its great claws."
He sighed again, then looked down. He tucked his sword under his armpit and used his hand to rub his eyes for a moment, before taking the blade up again.
"Killed 'em all, it did. Erry single one, as I live an' breath. An' when it were done, it went around, stompin' th'bodies flat. Never ate one, jes did all it could t'make sure that not a single survivor lived t'tell the tale. I were shook something fierce, I tell ya. Took me own caravan down off the ridge, t'avoid bein' spotted. We ended up arriving a day late, but to this day, I thank me lucky stars we made it at all."
Another sigh came, and Kathy heard the cracks in his voice as he continued on.
"Not Gil, though. Nor any o'them what worked for him, or th'merchant what hired him. A few years later, I worked up th'courage t'take a couple o'men into the ruins, t'find the bodies. I found bones dressed in Gil's clothes. I took his sword, which had survived, an' is th'one I carry to this day. I think Gil'd be pleased to know his blade had saved me life, quite a few times since."
Kathy finished cutting the cover up and stood to put her hands on Kells' shoulder.
"Thank you for telling me that," she said, her voice gentle. "I can tell it's an important story to you."
Kells nodded and sniffed once, then jerked his head in the direction away from the most recent roar. "I still think we should get out o' here, Kath," he said. "I'll face down the Searchers an' be happy o' a good death, should they take me. But them Walkers... They ain't warriors ye can face an' die with honor. One o'them things finds us, there ain't no fightin' it. We jes' die screaming, th'only consolation coming when it's all over."
Kathy weighed his words carefully. Kells knew this world far better than she did. And while she knew her own abilities far better than anyone here, she had to be mindful not to be too arrogant. Kells had told her how a single Walker had slaughtered an entire caravan of experienced fighters, led by an experienced leader.
"Okay," she said. She handed the bag to Kells. "There should be about eight hundred and fifty chits in there. You can count them out later, and I'll trust your count. After I find what I'm looking for, I'll collect the rest and we'll settle up."
"Good call," Kells said. He tied the bag off to his belt and walked to the corner of the building, peeking around. When he was satisfied, he nodded. Kathy joined him, and together, they made a beeline to the edge of the ruins.
They had made it about halfway out when another roar sounded, this one right on top of them. A rumbling crash sounded from her right, and Kathy turned to see rubble falling to the ground as something massive rose off the ground, two blocks over.
"Stars an' stones," Kells swore, then shouted "Run!"

As many people in North America did on Sunday, we celebrated Mother’s Day. We stayed in, my husband, daughter and stepson, and watched movies and had snacks. The day was pretty relaxed and comfortable. Syepson had to go back to his moms for supper, my husband took him late afternoon. Then my husband and I made a big family dinner and his parents and our oldest son and his girlfriend came to enjoy with us. Mother’s Day has always been a strange day for me. I’ve always said all I want is to have a chill day with my family and enjoy each others company. There has not been one single year that has happened. In the past, my oldest son was usually bent on ruining the day for me some how. He would do things like sleep all day, say he forgot or just not even acknowledge the event. It was really hurtful and my oldest daughter, now 18, used to hey so upset with him when he behaved this way.
So this year, I was hoping for a miracle. As I said, the day went well and the evening was set up to be really good too. Everyone was chatting and supper turned out amazing, no bickering or snippy remarks between my in laws, the kids all seemed to want to be around, it was kinda perfect.
Now, in our house we’ve always had the rule that if you didn’t cook you help clean up. Fairly standard practice from what I can’t tell, compared to other families we know. It’s never even been a question, just get to it and many hands make light work.
Apparently all the kids just forgot that was a thing. Everyone left, just walked by my husband who stepped up to do the washing and didn’t give it a second thought. I followed the kids out to the front street and did an exaggerated shrug, got their attention and told them I was disappointed they were just leaving everything for us. This was no small dinner, it took several days of prep to brine and smoke the delicious turkey we served. Even after chasing them out to object, they both just drove away. Since I had already confronted them together I decided to discuss my issue with each of them separately. Since my son is out in his own now, I wasn’t as hard on him.
But here’s the thing, my daughter lives here full time and does nothing at all to help anymore. She was often at work in the evenings or with her boyfriend, until just recently when she stared a 9-5, so she didn’t have supper at home often. Because of her schedule, I would bring her dinner every night she works, making sure she had at least one decent meal a day. I didn’t expect her to come home at 9 pm and clean up, only to help out when she’s home. Now she’s home for supper most nights but still doesn’t lift a finger without being asked. And the attitude when she does have to pitch in is atrocious.
Now back to Mother’s Day, when I confronted my daughter I told her I was disappointed in the both of them. I told her her behaviour has been selfish and that I need her to start participating around the house. She refused to come home to talk that night. Monday she texted me to tell me she was coming over after work. That put me off further, you don’t come over to your own house. Her language made me feel like she doesn’t appreciate the free and supportive roof over her head. When we talked Monday evening my disappointment turned into anger and hurt. This kid had the audacity to say that having to help with dishes is me treating her like staff.
I am beside myself in the massive failure I feel about that. She grew up in a divided family situation but has two sets of parents to lean on and grow from. Her stepmother is a control freak and as a result, my daughter didn’t have chores over there. I knew that but made my expectation clear about our home, from the start. I just feel so helpless in this situation. If anyone has any advice or reminiscence of their own teenzilla, I’d love to hear it.

Most meetings should be an email:
Their “all hands on deck” meetings are early in the morning, even though the first three hours of your workday are your most precious and productive and should be reserved for the most important tasks where focus, attention, high cognitive function, willpower is needed, according to research. Willpower or mental energy regulates your thoughts, emotions, impulses, and performance control.
Top management has recurring meetings but it seems like the topic was determined 5 min beforehand because the meetings are often all over the place, with no clear agenda, and random topics. Often, they feel like a parent lecturing their teenager.
Meetings are mandatory. Most employees do not really have to be there. The meetings do not affect the actual day to day job functions. The main purpose for these meetings seems to be for unity (or the appearance of). They are often not productive. Not useful and not engaging for most employees. Not worth spending company time. Not used for coaching or mentoring. Not used for making decisions. They are not about a complex issue that needs to be talked through ideas and solutions. In actuality, 98% of the meetings should really just be emails. There are three regular weekly meetings: about 80-90% of them include testimonies or personal stories and about 10-20% is someone sharing statistics (about the products they produce) or status updates or the behind the scenes (how the "hotdogs" are made). One out of about four meetings involve a recount of the ministry's history. If one did not attend the meetings, nothing would change. There really would not be any consequences that would affect doing your job.
Finally, Managers or employees who have traveled internationally are the only ones that get to speak and address the entire ministry. Everyone else doesn't get a voice.
Testimonies or personal stories:
Stories and testimonies as a form of encouragement and motivation are not bad or not useful; however, there are other areas in the work culture that are lacking that destroy any built up motivation. Employees are expected to have some kind of emotional response to them. Over the months and years, stories and testimonies become overused. In fact, you will hear so many testimonies that, over time, they will blurr and you will probably become desensitized to them. Stories and testimonies are probably seen as a way of providing support to employees but other supports are also lacking and needed (e.g., better leadership, empowerment, resources, tools, better communication, regular check ins, accountability, empathy, feedback, personal and professional development). Stories, anecdotes, and testimonies seem to be used to deflect from some of the problems in the ministry culture.
Top management pressures employees to feel a certain way. They want them to always feel encouraged and motivated by everything and anything the ministry does:
If you replace "encourage" with Love" and then talk to your wife....
“I took out the trash, that should make you feel loved. I mowed the lawn, that should make you feel loved. I picked up my laundry, that should make you feel loved. I went exercised today, that should make you feel loved. i helped an old lady cross the street.”
This makes it all about YOU, not how your wife actually feels! in fact, you are manipulating her to feel a certain way by what you did!
"If you are not feeling loved by all these things I did, then something is wrong with YOU.”
So management tells employees how they should be feeling about things. Performance is often not rewarded. Many employees do not know how much management cares about them as a person. What would be really encouraging is if management gave employees confidence, listed better, spoke to their needs, and empowered them.
Meetings - introverts vs extroverts:
Meetings are not set up to accommodate the basic differences between introverts and extroverts (e.g., how they best think, work, process information, communicate, learn; introverts typically dislike noise and big group settings) nor of how people need to manage their energy (ultradian rhythms). Management does not use information about individual team members’ personalities and predilections to formulate norms and dynamics that are respectful to everyone. Research indicates that in a typical six-person meeting, two people do more than 60% of the talking. In bigger groups, like the 100+ group at FCBH, the problem is worse. Management allows a certain dominant personality to do all the talking. They are not coached to listen, reflect, and become more open to the perspectives of their more silent peers. Top management does not send the meeting agenda in advance and ask for written feedback to give introverts time to formulate thoughts and summon the courage to share them.
Management’s definition of a “successful” meeting is different from that of other organizations. Top management does not appear to have any training in meeting science. Most meetings do not provide value to all attendees. They are not set up for employees to contribute and add value to them. Also, no opportunities to give feedback on meeting quality when meetings end.
A “Christian” version of CRT:
The opinions and perspectives of international employees are valued over local/american employees. Employees who are international (and especially those who live in persecuted areas) are often prioritized and favored. Their voice, their input, is often considered more important because top management pressures them to share and speak.
If there is a need, entire ministry is notified to pray if the need is from internationals but not if the need is local.
Personal convictions. Money:
Top management tends to have some childhood trauma, that is the root cause of their strong personal convictions, that often comes out during their mandatory meetings. These “preaching” moments usually have to do with money. They grew up poor or had strict parents or been around groups, ministries, and churches that abused money and now they get triggered or feel guilty when they see new things and resist replacing things like whiteboards and chairs: "if we already have something, we don't need to replace it = if it ain't broke, don't fix/replace it. wear your shoes out until your soles poke through the bottom before buying new ones." They seem to get triggered when employees ask them for upgrades/replacements” “if it can still 'technically' work, then it's fine.”
Compromises:
In order to fulfill their deadlines and to keep up appearances with ministry partners and donors, management will often “let things go”. Things such as quality of the recordings or training issues with internationals. They are willing to sacrifice quality control to get the results their supporters want to see.
Employee well-being:
Top management often makes assumptions about the well-being and contentment of employees.
They do not invest time and effort in comprehending genuine emotions and needs to create a supportive and harmonious work environment.
No consideration for managing energy or attention. No discussions on employees’ health and wellness goals. Instead, employees are expected to focus, to look at computer screens for extended periods of time (an 8 hrs shift includes two short breaks) even though editing and processing audio and video requires high mental energy and prolonged focus. Management often ignores telltale singles of burnout and fatigue. No effort is made to increase energy, reduce fatigue, and improve job performance. So, consistency, accuracy, and quality of recordings are affected as well as employees’ well-being.
Moveover, no paid maternity or even work from home options for new parents. Many new moms have left. New parents must be use PTO if they want time with their new baby.
The end result? Low moral, isolation, aloneness. Many employees are overworked and underappreciated. Many are not satisfied with their position. Most work until they burn out. Someone said this and it's true: for every employee that leaves, they have to hire at least two people to replace them. Sure, there are some long-term or for life employees who have been around for 10+ years. Unfortunately, most of these employees have outdated skills and would have a difficult time finding work (there is no continuing education or certifications offered) if they wanted to leave (or were let go). In addition, many of the skills employees learn on the job are non-transferrable. So, many choose to stay and remain loyal to the ministry because the cost of leaving is just too high.
No windows; no natural light:
Most of the building has no windows. Something to note if you struggle with depression.
People are different:
Management seems to lack an understanding of how people are wired, how each person is different, what drives their behavior and what they’re capable of doing with their skills. Not much consideration for each person’s individual goals, strengths, and weaknesses. Management does not create situations that encourage employees to motivate themselves.
So, work areas do not reflect the needs of Gen Z and millennials, the basic differences between introverts and extroverts (e.g., how they think, work, process information, communicate, learn), how personality impacts work preferences and styles. No awareness of how people need to manage their energy (ultradian rhythms). They do not allow people to work the way they want to; extroverts should feel comfortable taking time to socialize, while introverts should have license to work remotely or take breaks from the team.
Top management does not recognize that individuals may not always express their inner concerns or desires openly. They don’t sculpt jobs to enhance individual engagement: they don’t seek to understand the unique motivations of employees or develop each employee’s career. No incentives or rewards are provided. Not much authentic appreciation is shown. Employees have value as people (not just as producers), and management needs to communicate in ways that are meaningful to the recipient (as opposed to just going through the motions). Management must adopt business practices that help employees have a personal life.”
Work family:
Despite current best business practices, management will continually use the phrase “work family”.
All about the numbers:
There is more focus on production than the core values of the ministry. Top management almost idolizes how many bibles are produced. There is a focus on goals and numbers which often comes off as self-righteous and self-promoting and self-important: Numbers of bibles produced, numbers of people who receive those bibles, numbers of testimonies from those that get the bibles. Focus seems to be on the products FCBH produces over the people reached. Focus is on getting bibles to people. Focus is not on discipleship or teaching people how to correctly interpret the Bible they receive so they can become more like Jesus. Top management seems to be more focused on what they have done well rather than on what others have done well. And they often take credit for accomplishments that should be credited to God.
Theology at work:
Management does not want discussions to get “too theological”, they want to keep it “practical”, as though good practice did not require careful thought to direct it. They discourage employees from discussing theology because they want to keep “unity” and avoid division among Christians, however, they will present their own theological positions and convictions but not allow other employees to question or share their own views and opinions especially on controversial topics (e.g., spiritual gifts, hearing from God, fasting, finances, stewardship, prophesy, replacement theology).
Favoritism:
Major donors to the ministry are singled out to entire staff and praised. The poor widow with two coins wouldn't get any mention. This makes it seem that the ministry only really cares about the major donors. All donors should be anonymous to employees that are not directly working with the donors.
Employees who are pastors are also favored:
They are often asked to pray or give a word in meetings as if their prayers and words are above employees who are not pastors. As if God will take extra time and attention to hear from them and answer their prayers.
Inconsistencies:
Some “special” employees are allowed to work remotely for some unknown reason. Most employees requesting to WFH are denied. This is never explained and so it creates division, confusion, and envy.
Birthday, thanksgiving, and Christmas parties vary drastically by department: some departments work half day and get together off site to celebrate; some work full day and have no party; some work full day and have a 30min party onsite (during work hours?); some have food only, some have food and games, some have everyone bring in food but some have the ministry? provide the food; some have gift exchange and some don’t….
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Conclusion:
Some people might say this is all superficial and selfish, all that really matters is getting bibles to people. You be the judge. Many have chosen to ignore these issues and remain loyal to the ministry; some stay and think things will get better; others stay because they have nowhere else to go; some mentally check out; some have spoken out and been labeled as “causing disunity” and then let go, and many others have chosen to leave. Unfortunately, the people most sensitive to a decrease in the quality of the culture are typically those with the most resources, skills, and talents that could be used to effectuate improvement. The people who are the least sensitive to quality usually have fewer resources, skills, and talents.

This is me venting but am also curious to know what everyone's relationship is like with half-siblings. Here's my story. I'm sorry in advance for how long this is, along with the grammarun-ons. I'm trying to give the Reddit community as much context as I can dating as far back as my memory takes me.
I (F 28) have two younger biological sisters (identical twins, F 25). The three of us were born after my dad married my mom (arranged marriage) after he and his first wife got divorced.
I believe my dad's first marriage lasted about 10 years. They had two kids together (my half-siblings). My older brother and I have an 8-year age difference, and my older sister and I have a 10-year age difference. Growing up, they used to visit us a few times a year including summer break or alternating holidays. Sometimes they would visit during Thanksgiving, other times during Christmas.
We used to be pretty close (at least I thought), but the relationship has become increasingly strained through the years. I understand the fact that there are ALWAYS two sides to every story, but I believe that my dad was on the right side of things and the marriage ended because two people weren't compatible and got married too young. It's always unfortunate when there are kids involved, and I'm sure it was tough with my older siblings being impacted at a young age.
It started when our grandpa (my dad's dad) passed away in November 2015. My brother suddenly stopped talking to my dad/our family immediately for whatever reason. He was the only person that didn't come to my grandpa's funeral. I honestly think he was holding a grudge that he didn't find out immediately when my grandpa passed, but I can't be too sure. We've never addressed that directly.
Fast forward 8 months to July 2016, when my dad's side of the family had a reunion at a first cousin's wedding. The vibes from my brother were like nothing had happened, and then after the wedding weekend, he was back to being silent. When my grandma (dad's mom) passed away in June 2019 he didn't show up to the funeral then either. Granted I didn't, but not because I didn't want to. I was a poor grad student and couldn't afford an $800 ticket on short notice and didn't want to burden my parents to pay for me to fly back for a couple of days either on top of how busy they were with funeral arrangements.
My brother went about 5 years to not talk to my dad or any of us. Then, out of nowhere, he calls one day to announce that he's getting married. The wedding is set for October 2022. I think he was buttering up my dad and our family to come to the wedding, because he knew it would look bad if everyone asked where his dad was for his wedding, and it would reflect poorly on him. The communication in 2022 was pretty consistent leading up to the wedding, and my older siblings would call my dad almost every weekend knowing that they needed us to show up to the wedding.
My older sister (F 38) had a baby girl in July 2018. Our dad was thrilled, his oldest daughter made him a grandpa. But there is clear separation and favoritism there, as my niece only sees her mom's side of the family being in the same area in the DMV. For those who aren't familiar with DC/MD/VA, my older sister lives in Virginia, in Arlington, and her mom lives in Herndon. About a 30-minute drive from each other. My parents live across the country in Orange County, so visits are far and few in between for my dad and his grandchild. I live on the Maryland side, and the state line between Maryland and Virginia is roughly 30 min, depending on where you go and the time of day. Anyway, I don't even know if my niece knows that she has another grandpa, outside of what she knows about my sister's mom and stepdad, and my brother-in-law's parents, who split time between the US and Nepal. I feel so bad for my dad because that's his grandkid too and everyone deserves the joy of being involved in their grandkids lives. My dad has seen my niece several times but the relationship is pretty surface level. It's not her fault, she doesn't know him like she does my sister's mom and stepdad, plus it's a proximity thing living on opposite sides of the country. We have FaceTime for these reasons though.
My husband and I aren't ready to have kids yet, and we want them. We've only been married for almost 7 months so we're still trying to live life before we settle down. I hope nothing more than to be able to give my parents a grandkid one day because I want my dad and mom to experience what they missed from my older half-siblings isolating them from their kids. That is if I'm able to have kids, I know we can't control these things.
This brings me to my next point (if you're still reading this, I appreciate you). My husband and I got married in October 2023. Our parents on both sides did everything they could to give us the wedding of our dreams, and it was everything we imagined and hoped for, and I'm forever grateful for that. I know that my wedding hit my dad harder emotionally than the first two with my older siblings because he was not at all involved during theirs. That wasn't by choice, my older siblings' mom probably didn't want him to be involved. Divorced dynamics are so confusing. You're telling me you can't come together and be civilized for a day/weekend? After my wedding, a few months later, sometime in January or February 2024, my dad called me to talk about how my sister was upset after our wedding and she vented about a few things with him on the phone. He was relaying the message over.
For context, I uploaded our wedding pictures on Facebook, because I have so many family members overseas in Nepal who weren't able to attend the wedding, and it was honestly the most convenient way to showcase our pictures since people in Nepal are ridiculously active on Facebook. My sister has social media, my brother got rid of his TwitteFacebook/Instagram/everything many years ago. Our photographer took several thousand pictures throughout the wedding weekend events, and of course, there were moments captured of my older sister and her family, including my brother-in-law, and niece. I will admit out of spite since my sister never posts anything about me and my dad/family, I tagged but then later on deleted those pictures she was in. Why would I have pictures of her on my social media when she's never posted anything of us? She doesn't even like or comment on anything on my social media, and when you have siblings, this is not something you discuss, you just do it. Duh. Over the last few days, I unfollowed her and unfriended her on Facebook and Instagram. For me, it makes no sense to keep people on my newsfeed if I don't interact with them, and I have plenty of family members and friends that I already have a strongemore communicative relationship with.
If my sister was upset about this, why did she call my dad to vent about this months later instead of coming to me? My dad told me she complained that he didn't mention her or my older brother during his speech at our wedding. But am I wrong for thinking, why would he? It's a celebration for me and my husband. I thought that was very conceited and selfish. The day wasn't about her, and my dad's speech was so heartfelt that I cried. I believe she was offended she didn't get the same during hers. However, my sister and brother never asked our dad to give a toast at their weddings. Only their mom did, which is messed up in my opinion.
I understand divorce is messy and complicated, and people go through years of therapy to fix, or maybe even never fix issues completely. It's hard, and I'm just a product of his second marriage. But I've never understood the jealousy that seems to exist, specifically between my older sister and me.
I tried reaching out to both of them in a group iMessage, talking about how I am not happy with the way they're treating our dad. My brother has stopped calling my dad completely over the last few months since his son (my dad's second grandkid) was born a few months ago in February. My sister calls maybe once a month. I wanted to confront them about this ongoing behavior and ill will toward our family. They didn't even have the guts to respond to me, I suggested if they have time to FaceTime so we can have a real adult conversation about what is their issue. My parents are flying to DC this weekend and the original plan was to drive a few hours north so they could see my brother's baby. No communication with my brother whatsoever to coordinate. I feel devastatingly sad for my dad.
I'm not even going to get into their treatment of my mom. That's another long story, but basically, it's them not giving a hoot about her, even though she's the one who took care of them and stepped up when they visited growing up. As a stepmom, it's hard to deal with kids from a previous marriage. But she did it and she loves them, and they're nothing but passive-aggressive and mean to her. They never wish her happy birthday, happy Mother's Day, or my parents happy anniversary. It takes two seconds. For me, if you disrespect my parents, you're disrespecting me.
Since then, my sister has unfollowed and unfriended everyone on social media, including my dad, my younger sisters, and my husband. All because she couldn't handle that I did that to her. I'm just not for this nasty behavior, and I know we all need to unpack a lot in therapy (me and my older siblings specifically). Their behavior is cowardly, and I can't be the only one that thinks this, right? I don't know. It didn't have to be like this. I'm sure their mom has been telling them bad things about the marriage and my dad for years. I'm not saying he probably didn't make mistakes, but there are, once again, two sides to everyone's story. None of us kids have heard both sides directly from the source, and probably never will. It makes me sad, especially for my dad. I know life will go on. I tried to reach out, and if they don't want to talk about these issues like adults, then I have nothing else to say.