I feel myself promotion code

Since there was many people who decided to confront, harass, or downright misinterpret the message, I am putting out this open letter addressing every concern addressed to me holistically:
Open Letter to Faculty, Staff, Students, and the General Community Addressing Concerns Regarding the May 13th ASUW Newsletter
NOTE: These are my thoughts and feelings solely as Jacob Feleke, not intending to represent the ASUW.
I wanted to take a moment to thank you all for sharing your concerns about the recent ASUW newsletter. Your insights are invaluable, and they resonate deeply with my own commitment to promoting inclusive dialogue within our university community.

1. Malcolm X Quote: The acknowledgment of the sensitivity surrounding the use of a quote from Malcolm X, with the claims of anti-Semitic rhetoric in the past, struck a chord with me. As someone with Jewish ethnicity and Semitic myself, I fully understand the importance of ensuring that our messaging remains sensitive and respectful. However, I do want to include the fact that Malcom X began his transformation after his pilgrimage to Mecca in 1964, where he experienced and interacted with people from diverse racial backgrounds and realized faults within himself. Following his journey, Malcolm X underwent ideological shifts, moving away from separatist and divisive teachings. I do not include Malcom X to incite or aggravate, but rather to show the change people exhibit in their teachings. “Each of us is more than the worst thing we’ve done” - Bryan Stevenson, Just Mercy.
2. Alleged Misuse of Power and Political Bias: I want to emphasize the significant impact of ASUW legislation, which, while not legally binding, influences every aspect of student life, from social functions to the allocation of student funds. As the democratic voice of students, ASUW engages the campus community through programming, services, and advocacy. We amplified the students who brought forward the divestment bill, which underwent rigorous (and a bit vociferous) questioning to reach its final form. The students who presented or supported the bill, some being Jewish themselves, were subjected to ad-hominem attacks being described as “self-hating” by students and described as “ignorant” by faculty and staff along with threats of not being able to find a job after college. Through their trials and tribulations, the approval of this bill by ASUW Student Senate and its presentation to the Board of Directors, and later the Board of Regents on May 9th, as Official Student Opinion underscores our commitment to representing student perspectives in our decision-making processes.
3. Portrayal of Conflict and use of the word 'martyr': I fully appreciate the significance of promoting balanced and respectful discourse. The emphasis on understanding and addressing the concerns of all members of our community has been an issue as the entire campus, and the world is virtually polarized. From the Black Student Union sit-in at Gerberding Hall in 1968, and the May 1970 Antiwar Strikes, these events on our campus occurring simultaneously with the rest of the world did indeed cause students to be martyred for their activism. I emphasize the term ‘martyr’ as we see other universities today engaging in increasing repudiation and silencing of students, which I fear may escalate to lives lost if matters escalate from outside agitators, law enforcement, or universities themselves.
4. Alleged Lack of Representation: The allegations regarding the lack of representation of Jewish students on the ASUW is quite frankly a matter that I am not at liberty to discuss, out of privacy for the students, nor is a well researched allegation. Again, as a semitic individual myself, with Jewish heritage, coupled with a Hebrew name ‘Jacob’, I share the dedication in ensuring that every student's voice is heard and represented within our student organizations. The calls for greater inclusivity and representation in the ASUW mirrors my own aspirations, for our own university community.
5. Questioning of the Peaceful Dialogue: The skepticism about the peaceful nature of the encampment protests underscores the urgent need for transparency and accountability within activist movements. I am deeply committed to ensuring that the activism in the ASUW is conducted in a manner that respects the rights and perspectives of all individuals. The concerns serve as a reminder of the importance of upholding principles of nonviolence and inclusivity in our advocacy efforts. We all want to support activism, and it's crucial to make sure it's done in a way that respects everyone's rights and opinions. In the same breath, I will not condone or tell students to stand silent when being harassed.

In summary, I am truly grateful for everyone's thoughtful critiques and the dedication to fostering a more inclusive and respectful dialogue within our university community. Your insights have sparked important reflections on the implications of our actions and messaging, and I eagerly anticipate working together with everyone to address these concerns constructively.
Sincerely,
Jacob Feleke

Republic 7^th Fleet, Centaurus Sector, 407 light years from Earth
RSS Vercingetorix, Independence-Class Carrier, 2174 A.D.
Vice-Admiral Mei Zhou had just finished making the final changes to the fleet’s reconnaissance patrol routes with her senior staff when the comm panel on her desk chirped, displaying an incoming comm request from Admiral Thompson. She quickly thumbed the pad being offered by her aide so that he could issue the orders they were just working on and turned to the rest of her staff. “Nice job, people. Let’s get to work. Dismissed.” As the staff filed out the door, she started entering the codes needed to decrypt the incoming comm channel and looked up to make sure the room was empty. She pressed the open channel icon, and Admiral Thompson’s holo image appeared in front of her desk, ending just below his waist and making it seem as if he was actually there, sitting.
“Mei, how’s your new ship treating you?” he asked, smiling. “She is an absolute beauty, Karl. I still can’t believe that she is mine.” She responded, returning his smile. “What can I do for you, Karl?” Thompson chuckled, and his holo image leaned back as he reclined in his chair. “Straight to business; I always liked that about you, Mei. Alright, here we go. We have received intelligence reports that the Commonwealth has begun evacuating one of their last remaining coreward periphery worlds that is now dangerously close to the expanded Insectoid border. We have also received an update from our spy drones in that same region that six Hive ships and almost four hundred cruisers that were patrolling their side of that border area have disappeared. This is too much of a coincidence, and I want you to detach a combat patrol and send them there.” Thompson finished speaking, and a flashing icon popped up on her comm panel, indicating that she had just received new orders. She tapped it and quickly scanned the new orders as the admiral waited. She looked up at his holo image. “Karl, I acknowledge receipt of the new orders and will implement them. Between me and you, why are we getting involved with this? The Commonwealth has a navy, and they should be fighting to protect their space. We can’t keep coming to the rescue and defending their members; we are already spread too thin as it is.”
Thompson nodded his head in agreement. “Mei, I agree with you in principle, but there are social and political considerations involved here. The near extinction of the V’rni has caused considerable turmoil among the citizens of the Republic. They know logically that we could not have stopped such an attack like that one, but the perceived failure to protect them or prevent the attack still weighs heavily on their souls. The Commonwealth is currently attempting to evacuate the Jaleen system, and they are one of the last surviving members that voted yes before our petition to join the Commonwealth was denied. It also doesn’t help that the Jaleeni are avowed pacifists and look like bipedal Newfoundland dogs. They are technically a bear-like species, but to humans, they look like humanoid dogs, and the government is unwilling to lose the popular support it currently enjoys by allowing the Jaleeni to be exterminated. I mean, look at these guys.”
Another flashing icon popped up on her screen a moment later, and she pressed it. It turned into a hologram depicting a typical Jaleeni family of a mother and father with a litter of six pups, and she couldn’t help but smile as she looked at the photo. They were wearing their traditional rough-spun linen clothes that made them look like dogs cosplaying as monks. They looked adorable, and she felt her heart melt while staring into their deep brown eyes, which looked sad. She understood the reasoning behind it, especially after the mass extinctions that occurred in Earth’s biosphere because of World War 3.
After the war, humanity had an awakening when they surveyed their destroyed world and came to terms with the disappearance of thousands of species and the near extinction of thousands of others. What followed were three generations of desperate measures to salvage what remained and a worldwide effort at habitat restoration and de-extinction efforts utilizing a wide array of methods such as back-breeding, cloning, and genome editing. Dogs were almost driven to extinction by the war as they were uniquely susceptible to the BioChem weapons that were developed and refined by the Eastern Coalition animal testing on poor innocent canine subjects. Between the Biochem weapons, owner deaths, abandonment, and starvation, almost 90% of the domesticated canine population and entire breeds were lost by the war’s end. Cats fared much better, but they still suffered a loss of almost half of their pre-war population, and a large percentage of the survivors reverted to a feral state. The result of all of this was an almost religious reverence for the preservation of sentient animal life on human worlds and a somewhat fanatical tendency of humans to take on the mantle of guardians for sapient alien species that resembled animals to them.
“Karl, I understand; I do. I just don’t like the fact that we are operating on so many fronts. Some of our fleets and task forces are patrolling areas far enough away that I worry about them getting reinforcements on time if they are attacked, and now my fleet is being partitioned to send a combat patrol almost three hundred light-years away from our current position. After the assault on the V’rn system, half of our combat power was recalled to Republic space to prevent the same thing from happening to us, and yet we are still being tasked with properly defending Eleani and Xenxin territory with half the ships we had before. Have they lost their damn minds at HQ?” She realized she was almost yelling at the admiral, and Mei took a deep breath, recognizing that her outburst was unbecoming of a Republic naval officer. She attempted to quickly apologize to Admiral Thompson. “Karl, I’m sorry that was uncalled for-“
The admiral raised a hand to stop her, an amused expression in his eyes. “Mei, I said the exact same thing to my boss as you did almost verbatim, and not as diplomatically as you, I might add. My concerns were addressed to my satisfaction, and I think yours will be when you get to your destination. There will be a task force joining you there, and I think you will be pleased. That is all I can say for now over the comms. You will lead the combat patrol to the coordinates listed in the orders you received, and the task force joining you there will fall under your command. I have a personal favor to ask of you. Please keep an open mind when you link up with the task force. You will rendezvous with Commodore Therax, and he is instrumental in our efforts to undermine the increasingly despotic Commonwealth government. More information about him and the Nekuli were added to your orders, make sure you review it. I took a big gamble on this, and I would be grateful if you did your best to make this collaboration work. That is all for now, and I wish you and your crews good fortune and godspeed, Mei. Take care of yourself.” The admiral finished speaking, and Mei noted the personal nature of his last few words, nodding an affirmative to his request.
“Admiral, I thank you for your words, and we won’t let you down. I need to issue the orders now to get there and link up with the task force on time. I’ll send a null space comm drone to the nearest relay to confirm our arrival and integration. Vice-admiral Zhou out.” As she leaned towards the comm panel to close the channel, she saw Admiral Thompson doing the same, and he gave her a wink and a mischievous smile before she pressed the icon, terminating the connection. She leaned back in her chair and blew out a deep breath. “Now what the hell was that all about?” She asked out loud to herself, as the confusing and secretive nature of her orders and the personal request of the admiral added to the uncertainty of what she was expected to do. She keyed her wrist pad and texted her aide to come back to her office for new orders. He was going to be livid that they just wasted half a day revising the patrol routes to maximize efficiency and increase their patrol range. A small smile crossed her lips as she waited. He had an obvious tell of his lower left eyelid spasming when he was mad despite displaying no emotions on his face, and she knew it drove him nuts that he couldn’t control it. Witnessing it was one of the small joys she had in her difficult job as vice-admiral, and she was looking forward to it.
Fifty-six hours later, her task force flashed out of null space at the designated coordinates and right on time. She felt a measure of pride as she watched her bridge crew go about confirming their location and verifying it with the navigational array and astrometric sensors. Once the navigator gave her confirmation that he verified their position, she turned towards the comms officer and ordered her to send a burst transmission with the pre-arranged code and waited for the response. A few seconds later, the comms officer raised her left hand and signaled receipt and confirmation of the code by the task force waiting in null space. An agonizingly long minute crawled along as she anxiously waited for her navigator to confirm the telemetry from his counterpart in the other task force as they verified their positions. The navigator activated the main viewscreen on the forward bulkhead as they waited. Suddenly, there were a multitude of exit flashes 200,000 kilometers from the bow of her carrier, and hundreds of warships appeared at a dead stop relative to her position.
Her jaw dropped as she took in the unexpected fleet in front of her. There were dozens of Commonwealth dreadnaughts, battleships, and heavy cruisers arrayed before her, as well as an additional one hundred and twenty light cruisers, destroyers, and missile frigates. On the flanks of the main formation, there were more exit flashes, and the bridge AI started categorizing them on the screen, and she saw that they were the new Eleani and Xenxin warships that she had been hearing about. They shared a design lineage with the Commonwealth ships, but there were definite differences that became obvious as they assumed their positions next to the Commonwealth navy ships. She was particularly intrigued by the Xenxin ships, as they seemed to be bristling with weapons, almost excessively so relative to their ship sizes. The Eleani ships seemed to have taken a different design philosophy, and they gave the impression of deadly speed and grace, and she was hard-pressed to spot any obvious weapons on their hulls despite the AI confirming that the ships were indeed well-armed.
There was another coded signal from null space that appeared on the comm station panel, and her comm officer turned to her. “Vice-admiral, we have received a coded message on the sigma frequency for your eyes only that requires biometric and voice verification to decrypt.” Zhou nodded and pressed a button on her arm panel, activating the privacy screen around her chair and feeling the pressure change as the bridge around her became opaque and silent. She pressed the biometric toggle on the panel, and a retinal scanner popped out of its alcove on the side. She leaned in and scanned her right eye first, then her left. An icon appeared on the screen, and she thumbed it as it flashed and confirmed the print. Finally, she spoke and addressed the bridge AI: “Suzy, please confirm the voice command for verification.” The AI answered immediately. -Of course, Vice-Admiral Zhou, please proceed.- “Zhou, one-red-seven-green-four-tango-alpha-zero. Execute.” -Voice command verified. Thank you, Vice-Admiral Zhou.-
A small holographic display popped up in front of her; the admiral appeared on the screen, and his pre-recorded message started playing. “Mei, I know all this cloak and dagger stuff seems excessive, but we couldn’t take any chances. The receipt of this message will activate a program in your bridge AI and allow it to take control of the new drone ships waiting for you in null space. They are a new class of upgraded null ships and are top secret. Your AI will anchor them to your task force, and they will follow you, remaining hidden in null space unless you absolutely need them.”
“There are also two troopships with them that are carrying a complement of two thousand Mark XII ATS Bio-Synths and an expeditionary brigade each of rangers and pathfinders in stasis. They are also to remain in null space unless circumstances require that you need them; they are an insurance policy for an ongoing mission in Insectoid space. The details of that are top secret as well and can be accessed with your AI. If the troopships are required for that mission, they are to be escorted by a detachment of null ships and sent there immediately. After you have met your task force counterpart, there are orders in this packet that are to be accessed by you both and executed. I have the utmost faith in you, Mei, and I can’t wait to take you out to dinner again when we can both coordinate our next leave together. Thompson out.”
The hologram message disappeared, and she waited a little longer to allow the blush from his last sentence to fade from her cheeks and suppress the smile that was trying to form on her face before she put on her command mask and lowered the privacy screen. The bridge crew was going about their usual tasks, trying hard not to seem interested in her top-secret message. “Comms, open a channel to the task force flagship, please.” The comm officer acknowledged the order, and a few seconds later, the Bridge of the Commonwealth flagship appeared on the viewscreen.
A Nekuli male was sitting in the command chair, resplendent in the uniform favored by Nekuli officers. He took a moment to look around her bridge before settling his eyes on her. He bowed his head slowly in a gesture of respect, which she returned in proper fashion. The proper courtesies having been observed, he raised his eyes to meet with hers and started speaking. “Vice-Admiral Zhou. May the ancestors grant you and your clan honor and good fortune. I am deeply honored to meet you, and I hope our integration is a successful endeavor. I now entrust the honor of myself and my crew to your safekeeping.” He remained stone still as he awaited her reply, and she tried to remember the proper return greeting that she had been studying during their trip here.
“Commodore Therax, the honor is mine, and I promise you that I shall never ask you or your crew to undertake any action that will bring dishonor to your clans and your ancestors. We are now joined as one; may our cause be just and pure.” She finished the response, and the gravity of what she just promised to someone she had never met before hit her hard; it felt almost sacred to her. Commodore Therax heard her proper reply, and he stood up, followed by the rest of his bridge crew. He addressed her again. “Our honor has been given, and we have received a promise to safeguard it in return. Our joining is now consecrated in the eyes of the ancestors, and you are now our clan leader. What are your orders?
She recovered from the ordeal of the emotionally charged exchange of vows and stood up to give her first order as clan leader to the Nekuli. “I request the presence of you and your senior staff aboard my ship tonight. I will prepare a feast to honor our new friendship and alliance. I have studied your cuisine, and I have found a selection of Earth cuisine that should suit your taste. It is called tartare and sashimi; I think you will like it.” Commodore Therax looked at her dubiously, and she had to stifle a laugh at his expression as she knew that he was imagining being forced to eat vegetables and overcooked meat out of politeness. She spoke quickly to assuage his fears. “Commodore, tartare, and sashimi are raw red meat and fish; I would never inflict vegetables and burnt meat on you or your crew; are we not friends?”
As his translator finished converting her words into his language, he smiled at her, baring all of his fangs in true happiness.

I’m a Financial Analyst (27M) who is coming up on 3 years with my company. I had my annual review, which increased my TC from $82,550 ($75k base + 10% bonus) to $96,134 ($80k + 20%). This is up 34.5% from my starting TC of $71,500.
I was hoping for $85k base but didn’t even consider the possibility of an increased bonuses, at least not until promoted to an Associate. Not sure how I feel about the new TC since on one hand I rather have a higher base, but on the other hand it’s marginally better (+3k).
I find myself in a predicament with the main factors being pay and career growth. $80k base doesn’t go too far on the west coast, but I have a decent record of annual increases. I got merit increases of 7.69%, 7.14%, and now 16.36% for an average TC increase of 10.40% YOY or average Base increase 7.17% YOY. I believe these are strong and consistent increases that I am not sure I’ll find elsewhere.
I’ve done the market research and for my role / experience and I think I am paid fairly. Not good, not bad, but just fair. I mention this because I don’t think I have leverage in this regard. The good news is that I know Associates make around $120k-$150k base. However, there is not a clear path to an Associate, given how small our firm is. I have found that most Associates have been here for no less than 5yrs and that’s about the best benchmark I currently have. Assuming a promotion to Associate is around the 5yr mark, that’s a little over 2 years away, which scares me because by then I’ll be pushing 30 years old. I don’t want to be a 40yr old Excel junkie with no hope for a management role.
I’m sorry for the long read, but I feel like this is all important context for a pivotal decision. I’d only switch jobs for +$100k. But I would need +20% increases every year (small likelihood) to match what I theoretically could make if I just stayed for an Associate.
Am I being impatient? If so, do I just shut up and ride out a few more years to hopefully be promoted to an Associate? Do I get some job offers and ask my current company to match? What’s the best course of action to increase my income?
My current plan is below, but please advise otherwise.

1. Talk with boss and see what the next 2-3yrs look like. Don’t give away my position or leverage, but find the likelihood of being promoted to an Associate.
2. If the talk does NOT go well, ask how I can improve and do that for 3 months. Then start getting job offers and see if they’ll match.
3. If they do NOT match, ride out for 3 more months, collect my bonus, and dip.

Less important information, but worth considering:
I really like my company. My boss and my boss’ boss are down to earth and are super accommodating with PTO, personal issues, and general work-life balance. There’s no micromanaging or company software that tracks your every move. Work life balance is pretty unbeatable, and I have a lot of free time even after taking on “additional” tasks (I used quotes because I can do much more, but they don’t necessarily have a business need for much more). We have full benefits and the company pays for our own ESPP-equivalent; it doesn’t come out of our paychecks, but there is a 5yr min hold.
I often feel like this is a great place to work when you’re NOT young. What I mean by that is building and growing your career elsewhere and then coming here when you want to settle down with a mortgage, kids, or whatever. Coming in a higher level definitely has its benefits (VP+ make min $300k) and there’s a lot of older employees that are probably going to retire here, which somewhat validates this hypothesis.

I have one child. I had him when I was younger and I didn’t regret having him (though I truly expected to by what everyone in my life said). But lately over the past few years I’ve grown to not like who he is as a person. And regret has set in.
I will call him “M”, M is 12yrs old, going to be 13 this year. He is being raised in a two parent household, in a good town and school district. We live pretty comfortably as you can for this day and age. But M is never happy. M is never satisfied with anything. M consistently gets in trouble at school for repeating inappropriate things he watches on YouTube or hears while playing video games. He bullies kids younger than him and then never takes accountability for what he said or did, even when multiple adults tell him that what he did wasn’t okay. With COVID our state shut down school in person for 2 full calendar years, M is now pretty far behind in reading for his age. M refuses to do any sport, non-physical activity, or after-school activities that have been offered to him; usually always without a reason (it’s always just “I don’t want to”). M fights mainly with me because I am the parent who is home most often with him (other parent works out of home/12 hour shifts), so we always butt heads. M never allows any type of criticism and even when complimented he is smug and always says “I know”. He’s become a person I wouldn’t want to spend any time around, and frankly wouldn’t be friends with (if he was an adult and not my child). I don’t know what to do.
Things we’ve actively done to help M: -When we relocated, we set up an IEP and tutor to help assist him with his reading, writing and math skills. -We were finally able to talk him into trying (and successfully liking taekwondo) -Give him multiple style devices to support and promote his interest in video games and watching others play video games. -We gave him a list of small chores to do each day that never change and we do not ask more out of him (we always welcome help if he decides) -We start excessively complimenting the things he does and carving out time for him to explain his special interests (e.g his Lego creations) -We do not force him to actively join in on family dinners, activities or errands if he doesn’t want to go.
Both M’s other parent and myself came from very abusive households and we’re never treated like human beings that would become eventual adults. So we’ve really made it our focus to create a safe and understanding environment for M (we purposely never had more kids so that M would never feel like he had to compete with anyone else for love) but M continues to always push back, argue, cause problems at school and act like he hates us.
Because this has been an issue on and off for years, I am unsure what else I can do to help. Sometimes I cry at night because I regret keeping him and also yearning for the day he turns 18. (And I feel horrible for feeling that way)

My spouse and I have two boys, one age 12 and one aged 9.
My 12 year old son has had struggled with screen time since we first let him have access to a screen at age 2.
It's been ten years dealing with this so I could go on for ages about it, but here are a few highlights:

• We always tried to follow recommendations for screentime limitations when our kids were younger.
• When the kids were very little, my spouse felt that screens had a lot to offer in terms of helping the kids learn to read, code, and build other skills, which is why we originally introduced them.
• We have struggled with our older son having extreme tantrums and the inability to stop screentime from the very beginning.
• We have tried every recommended technique- such as giving warnings. To be honest, there is not a lot of good advice out there about how to deal with this. I spoke to my son's pediatrician about it last week and she said to give 1 minute and 5 minute warnings. I found this advice laughable- I've known that and have been doing it for ten years, and it does not work with him.
• The extreme issues with screen addiction in addition to other things I have noticed about my son have caused me to suspect that he may have Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) or some other issue. I have tried to get a formal diagnosis and have not been able to access care for that due to a lack of available mental health services. A secondary reason is that I do not believe my spouse supports me in seeking care for ASD. I have spoke to two friends who are experts in ASD who believe he may be on the spectrum. Also, my spouse has recently self-diagnosed with ASD which I think is relevant and will mention later.
• When my son was about 7 years old we took him to a few sessions with a mental health professional. It was not very helpful.
• Around this time my spouse got so frustrated with the tantrums when stopping screentime that they unplugged the television and removed it from our home. Shortly after that, we moved to a new house and neighborhood and did not take the tv with us. I would say that concerns about our son and his behavior were one of the primary reasons we moved.
• We moved with a 7 year old and a 5 year old and we did not allow any screen time at all for eight months.
• That is when the pandemic hit in 2020. The kids were sent home with iPads and told to do online school. My spouse and I both had to work at home with no childcare. They proceeded to need to use screens for school for the next 15 months. Over those 15 months and beyond, we gradually had screen back in our lives regularly. The tantrums came back. They included violent behavior, especially towards me and the little brother.
• We spent so much time trying to limit the screen and trying to encourage our older child to be interested in sports or other activities. When screens are on the table, nothing else is ever interesting to him.
• Over time the rules have become more lax. In my opinion it's often been my spouse that has allowed things to become more relaxed, although I'm sure my spouse would blame it on me. I think we're both at fault, mostly because we are just exhausted.
• Which bring us to today. My son is 12 years old.
  • He typically is allowed to play video games from 5pm to bedtime at 7:30 pm on weeknights. On weekends we try to hold him off for as long as possible but he sometimes starts as early as 2pm (sometimes even earlier) and then plays until 7:30 (bedtime).
  • He is happiest when playing games. He connects with his friends on there, he feels confident, he learns things about his interests including physics and history. He loves it.
  • I put the kids to bed at night. Every single night of our lives it remains a struggle to get him off the screens. Is it better than it has been in the past? Yes. But is it still a struggle? Yes.
  • He does not easily turn off screens for either my spouse or I, but he does it more easily for my spouse. I mentioned above that my spouse once confiscated the TV for 8 months. I believe that was a semi-traumatic experience for my son and it is burned into his brain when the tv was ripped out of the wall and removed while he screamed. In general, my spouse is more likely to raise their voice, be strict, etc. with the kids. My spouse used to yell more often and they try not to now. But they are still sometimes short with the kids. I have asked my kids why they listen to my spouse more than me and they tell me they are scared of my spouse.
  • I sometimes raise my voice with my kids. I try not to. If my spouse is in earshot when I raise my voice with the kids, they get very upset. My spouse had a violent household as a child and me raising my voice with the kids is a major trigger for them. It has definitely been a struggle for me for years to get my kids to listen to me. I blame the fact that I struggle with being consistent with them, paired with the fact that my spouse is triggered by me being strict with them. So I feel like I can't win.
  • So every night when it's time for screens to go off I am in a situation in which:
    • The 12 year old will do anything and everything to stay on that screen as long as they can.
    • My spouse is listening carefully from the other room, ready to judge and blame me if they are not happy with my approach.
    • My 9 year old is very sensitive to all of this anxiety coming from the rest of us, gets off their video game exactly on time, bounces around the room begging for attention from me.
  • So every night I try different things. Some of the most effective techniques are bribery, guilt, trying to pretend everything is cool and spark his interest in something else.
  • Sometimes I talk to my son for ages about it beforehand and he is mentally primed and then turns the game off on time. That takes a tremendous amount of prep for it to work.
  • This week, we had the doctors visit in which I brought up this issue and some related issues as I mentioned above that have had me thinking for years that he might have ASD. She did not respond to my question about whether we should look into ASD, but clearly blamed me for giving him more than an hour of screentime a day which is the recommended amount I guess.
  • So, feeling super guilty, and since my 12 year old was in the doctor's room and heard what she said, I have been trying to renew my efforts to get him to turn off the video game at 7:30, instead of allowing him to drag it out until 8.
    • My son did pretty well with this for several days this week.
    • When he did not do well, I unplugged his computer form the wall. I gave him plenty of warning that I would do this. (There was a time a few months ago when I unplugged the computer and removed the cord and my spouse lost their shit about that.) Lately, I just unplug the cord and then leave the room. My son then gets up and plugs the computer back in but does not resume the game. He gets upset but does not have a huge tantrum. So I thought it was a win!
    • UNTIL- this morning, after the kids left for school, my spouse LOST IT on me. Saying I should absolutely never unplug his computer, that it was ABUSIVE behavior. My spouse DEMANDED that I see a mental health professional. They DEMANDED it multiple times. They just lectured me, implied that I was doing things the way others in my family have and that its totally inappropriate. They said I shouldn't tell myself its ok because other people do it. It's not and I must seek treatment immediately.

I apologize for this being so long. It seems like a petty silly problem but as you can tell it's been an issue for us for many years and it is wrapped up in things such as my spouse's childhood trauma, my own childhood trauma about being yelled at and how it triggers me into a spiral of depression (I did not respond after they yelled at me this morning and have not spoken to them since. I've just been depressed and on the verge of tears all day.), possible undiagnosed ASD for my spouse and son, my own history of anxiety and clinical depression as well as my own self-diagnosed possible ADHD. But maybe I'm making it more complicated than it has to be. I don't know.
So what do you think...AITA for unplugging the computer?

I am currently a postdoc in Mechanical engineering department. My academic background is in fluids dynamics and I developed reduced order models (POD/DMD that sort of thing) for fluid flows during my PhD. After my PhD, i am not interested in fluids anymore and want to move far far away from this research area. My academia work has so far been focused on writing my own Navier-Stokes codes (in python, C++) and hence I do not have experience with CFD/CAD softwares. I am currently looking to move out of academia and into industry positions. It's been disappointing since the industry uses standard softwares which I am not familiar with. 1.) What sort of positions might be open for my skill-set? Also, I am on F1 STEM-OPT so a lot of aerospace companies are a no-go for me because of ITAR regulations. 2.) What sort of short projects/softwares/skills can I familiarize myself with to pivot to GNC engineer or modeling & simulation in robotics? Or design engineer? 3.) Apart from these I am also familiar with machine learning, optimization and deep learning tools at a basic level (for the past 5-7 years every PI wants to put ML/AI buzzwords in their grants to get funded, so I was able to work on a few tools during my PhD and have done a couple of Intro ML/Deep learning courses). What sort of companies can I apply to in the ML space as the big tech companies and startups require advanced coding skills+ML projects on CV?
Just feeling lost and trying to figure out a way out of academia but haven't been getting interview calls after submitting around 50-70 applications for industry positions.

I havnt played in a few months and i come back and it seems like everyone in my rank is worse. Im champ and im not a good champ at that but it seems like they boosted everyones rank. the games are just so much different than they were they are played so much worse. the opponents seem worse my tm8s seem worse. A few months ago it was sweaty (how i like it)3 and mostly every game was a good one.
Ofc people complain about bad tm8s but thats not what im doing. it feels like everyone has been promoted except me. it feels like im in gold or plat. everyone ballchases, they all hit the ball every chance they get, they dont control the ball at all its just hit it as hard as i can. This isnt a shot at anyone it literally just feels like i was put in lower ranked lobby's
when i switched from ps4 to pc i started a new account because i didnt know you could link them and i played for a year or two and progressed alot and when i found out you could link ps4 account i had all my stuff back so i played on that one and for ranked i was back in plat. it was very hard for me to get out of plat because (no offence) everyone sucked and it was hard for me to even get the ball with everyone chasing. my tm8 would hit the ball off my car and would bump me and whether that was on purpose or not it took my days to get back to low diamond (i was low diamond at the time) and right now im high diamond usually around the skill level i am so it should be fair right?? NO. it feels just like when i was stuck in the plat lobbies.
again no shot at anyone at any rank we all play a x amount and can only play so much im not trying to make anyone feel bad about their rank but for me being in high diamond right now is so bad. teamates giving up 3-4 kickoff goals a MATCH because they are just missing the ball on kickoff. that never happened in diamond like 6 months ago. again im not good but i have been obviously better than everyone in my lobby. mechanically (which im not mechanically good i play the smart game because i suck) and gamesense wise. i just want to know what happened or if its just me.
i want to be challenged and put in a rank where everyone is on the same skill level and not the matches i have been put in. its hard to rank up because i cant win a game. the entire lobby ball chases and just full sends it into the ball. far from the same rank lobbies 6 months ago where people were airdribbling, hitting resets (im getting there myself but far from consistent) and hell even passing. im just not having fun and wish i could have the old lobbies back where i wasnt the best in there and i would get shit talked because then the wins were rewarding and the losses didnt mean i rip my hair out.
sorry for the yap sesh i was angy

Noah The Pilgrim
First Next
There is one last thing to do before leaving. If you don't recall ever being on this ship, then surely, you could have had your appearance change too.
Why was there a blanket covering a mirror? You couldn't answer that with a straight face without speculation.
"Probably me being lazy and not bothering to properly place it in the wardrobe."
'Probably' is the main focus here, you simply cannot remember ever being that lazy, yet that's the only logical conclusion to be drawn here.
You pull the thing off, careful to not displace the mirror and risk breaking it.
You have no expectations as to what may appear on the glassy surface of the mirror, yet you can't help but feel a bit anxious. Are you the same as before? How were you before? You can't remember. Are you better? Worse? The blanket is now completely off the mirror, but your eyes are closed.
Whatever is it that you see when you open your eyes, that thing will be you for the rest of your life. You swallow, opening your eyes.
You see a young man that looks to be in his mid-twenties. His brown eyes stare back at you, analyzing the bags beneath your eye sockets. The dark hair is neither too long nor too short, floating about without order thanks to the lack of gravity to keep it down. You see a beard that has not been trimmed for weeks, but also lacks thickness, each singular hair isn't particularly long either; and some even appear to be in-grown.
You touch your hand against your face, making sure it's yours. The beard doesn't feel like you supposed it would against your skin, instead of it scraping your hand you feel softness, no resistance or anything.
Just beneath the face, you see what looks like a hate crime against all that is considered holy in fashion. Plain white coveralls with the added bonus of a black tie and boots made from metal and leather. On your chest is also a badge stuck in place by velcro with your name, occupation, and crew. 'NOAH - INTERN - THE ODYSSEY.'
Only one question came to mind.
"Who the fuck designed this uniform?" You say out loud, receiving no answer.
Patting your newfound myriad of pockets, you find a large quantity of nothing. You place your wallet in one of them.
"Alright, I'll head to the bridge now, happy?" You say the AI.
"HAPPINESS WILL ONLY MEET ME ONCE YOU ARE SOMEWHERE SAFE AND YOUR CONTRACT IS TERMINATED. STOP LOITERING."
Well, that's a bit rude.
You compose yourself, straightening your back. This is what you look like, and honestly? Not too bad, but you could be better.
Returning to the cafeteria, you eye the two doors left unexplored; Communications and the one without plaque. You know where you should, but... A little peek doesn't hurt, right?
"Shouldn't we try to communicate with someone? Assuming you haven't tried it yet. I know we're far from everything, but we might as well, no?" You ask already approaching the door.
"COMMUNICATIONS ROOM IS IMPOSSIBLE FOR YOU TO REACH WITHOUT PROPER PROTECTION AS OF NOW, IT'S LOCATED APPROXIMATELY TWO HUNDRED METERS FROM HERE, BLOWN OFF FROM THE REST OF THE SHIP." A shame really. "I SHALL INFORM YOU WHENEVER A DOOR LEADS TO THE OUTSIDE OR NOT."
You really want to ask what blew a whole segment of the ship off, yet you have a sneaking suspicion that your question will be met with a 'YOU DON'T HAVE CLEARANCE, JACKASS' directly in your face. So you chose to remain silent, simply nodding and approaching the correct door this time.
"Open."
---OPENING CAFETERIA DOOR NORTH---
The door silently opens.
Greeting you is a well-lit corridor. There are three doors on your left, a door at the end of the corridor, and a large window on the right. At least, you think that's a window.
You stare out from this window, nothing but utter blackness and fragments from your ship are seen. If this is the edge of the universe, and beyond this point, there is truly nothing. "Dreadful." Your speech matches your feelings.
"WHAT DID YOU EXPECT?" The AI says. You feel like it spoke in a mocking tone despite their lack of emotion.
You don't answer. "First door to the left... EXO-EXPLORATION...? What's that supposed to mean?" You receive no answer.
"Open." The door opens. No declarion of it opening once again.
You are met with what could be better described as 'Apocalyptic levels of mess', paper sheets float in the air, and not one of the four tables is in its correct position.
This room has been ransacked for all its goods apparently. Large display glasses were broken leaving nothing inside their casings, that looked like they could store something with the size of the common man.
Unusual displays aside, the room was so cluttered that the trash made for an effective smoke screen against what lay on the other side.
Hissing of gas exiting an air-tight space rang throughout the room.
"I HAVE OPENED THE STORAGE FOR AN EXO SUIT THAT BEST FITS SOMEONE YOUR SIZE." The AI says. "ALTHOUGH AN INTERN SHOULD NOT COME IN CONTACT WITH TECHNOLOGY SUCH AS THIS ONE, PROTOCOL DICTATES THAT I AM TO ALLOW ITS USAGE UNDER EXTREME CIRCUMSTANCES. CONSIDER YOURSELF LUCKY."
Easier said than done. Your vision is so cluttered that you cannot see what's ahead. "Give me a second."
Giving a light kick to the wall behind, you float face-first into the wall of thrash. Covering your face with both arms, you brace through the harmless bits of sharp objects and junk.
It's a trivial task. You arrive on the other side in no time.
In front of you is a set of boxes with luminous glass rectangles atop each one of them. All shine a bright red light, aside from one which shines green.
'Gotta be this one.'
You descend to the floor by kicking the ceiling, raising your right hand you touch the green rectangle.
*Click*
Nothing could have prepared you for the following series of events.
The box opens violently, as a metal appendage takes hold of your hand, pinning it to the box. You try to jerk and pry the thing off of you, but you fail. It's not leaving you anytime soon.
From the bottomless that is that container, a white plastic-like substance flows upward from your arm to the rest of your body. "Uh!" You don't know if you should panic or allow it to happen.
FYARN hasn't said anything, so it's probably fine...
The white thing seems to ignore the coveralls you are wearing completely, instead, it covers only your skin in a thin coat of... it. You know not what to call this thing.
In but forty seconds it has covered your whole body, excluding your head. The box lets go of your arm and stays there, floating.
You take a good look at your arms. It looks like a skin-tight suit, but it doesn't feel like plastic, in fact, it's more akin to some sort of fabric if anything.
The only bad part is that you are still using the coverall and tie, this this simply went beneath the clothing.
"GOOD, WITH THIS I CAN MONITOR YOU MORE CLOSELY. NOW PUT THE HELMET ON, YOU HAVE A LOT OF WORK TO DO."
You look around in search of anything that even resembles a helmet. Nope. Nothing. "Where is it?" You ask.
"...THE SUIT COMES WITHIN THE HELMET FOR EASIER PACKAGING."
The box?
You snatch the box that floated around and analyze it to the best of your ability. "How's this a helmet?"
"DO YOU NEED ASSISTANCE PUTTING ON A HELMET? REALLY?"
Who is this AI, Who programmed it, and Why does it come with a taunting feature?
As idiotic as it sounds, you place the opened box atop your head. It doesn't fit properly. Maybe you're doing this wrong? You move it to your face instead.
You recoil backward as you feel the box suddenly clamping down against your head. It's useless of course, the box is holding your head and doesn't give any sign to be letting go anytime soon. No light is able to reach your eyes.
You hear metal parts scraping against themselves, moving near your ears. Abruptly your eyes can see again.
A round thin layer of glass now covers your head, almost unnoticeable for how clear it is.
"WITH THAT OUT OF THE WAY I CAN NOW SEE WHAT YOU SEE." The AI's voice isn't in the room now, instead, it's inside of the suit. "DO YOU NEED INSTRUCTIONS REGARDING THIS SUIT'S FUNCTIONALITIES?"
You find it oddly comfortable as if you are surrounded by the softness of cotton, and to top it off the suit also has additional functionalities? "Hell yeah, I do!"
"YOU DO NOT HAVE THE NECESSARY CLEARANCE FOR THAT INFORMATION."
You sigh. Is this serious? "Then why the fuck did you ask?!"
"UNSAVORY LANGUAGE. IT'S NO WONDER WHY YOU REMAIN AN INTERN." The AI says outright. "IT IS RUDE NOT TO ASK, REGARDLESS OF THE SITUATION." It responds to your question.
"Okay then... Is there anything I need to know before heading out?" You ask.
"NOTHING THAT YOU WON'T FIGURE OUT ON YOUR OWN."
You are unsure if you want to 'figure out on your own' if this suit comes with breathable air and is also made for space exploration. You swallow.
Meekly as always, you get out of that mess of a room, stopping at the corridor.
"Next set of directions?" You ask.
"THE DOOR AT THE END OF CORRIDOR USED TO LEAD TO THE CONNECTING CORRIDORS BETWEN THE BRIDGE AND THE REST OF THE SHIP. IT HAS BEEN BLOWN UP FROM THE INSIDE. NOW IT LEADS TO THE OUTSIDE. GO TO THE DOOR AND WAIT BY IT FOR FURTHER INSTRUCTIONS."
"So let me get this straight," You begin, looking upwards as if the AI was above you. "You, want me, to go into the void of space, while also refusing to give me knowledge of the suit's functions?"
A fair worry, you summarize.
'I mean, there are a bunch of things that could go wrong here. I don't see anything that looks like it could help me move in space, nor do I think this thing has a built-in air tank... I could be wrong and I wish to be, but charging in without prior knowledge is ridiculous.' You wait for the AI's response, deep in thought.
"WHILE THERE IS A GOOD CHANCE OF YOU FAILING THIS TASK, THERE IS ALSO THE CHANCE OF YOU *NOT* FAILING THE TASK. FOCUS ON EITHER ONE OF YOUR CHOOSING AS YOU TAKE THE PLUNGE."
Wordlessly, you propel yourself forward, toward the end of the corridor.
'Are you shitting me? 'Chance of me nor failing' my ass!' of course, you don't word those complaints, instead choosing to speak out a complaint somewhat thought through.
"Are you sure I'm the one fit for this? It's just like you said, I'm just an intern, this is way above what my job description says I should do."
This is a bit of a stretch. You don't actually remember what was your job description, only that it had something to do with AI and being an intern.
If the AI called your bluff, it'd be pretty embarrassing.
"NOAH." The AI began. "YOU ARE HUMAN, IT IS NATURAL TO HAVE THESE THOUGHTS OF SELF-DOUBT. TAKE A DEEP BREATH AND GO THROUGH THAT DOOR, AND SINCE YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE LEFT, DON'T EXPECT SOMEONE ELSE TO DO IT FOR YOU."
Right in the money, huh? 'Of course, I have self-doubt! I barely remember anything about this place, now I have to risk my life?!'
You finally reach a conclusion.
A dream.
'Yes, yes! How did I not consider this before? This whole thing is a god damned dream!'
You let out a chuckle.
"NOAH."
'That's why I don't remember a thing. There is nothing here to remember! Everything here is a made-up thing from my brain! I'm sure I'll wake up at some point, so why shouldn't I live a little?!'
"Heh." You smile. "Alright, I'll do it." It feels like a weight left your shoulders.
"YOU SORTED IT OUT SOONER THAN EXPECTED. GOOD. MOVE TO THE DOOR AND WAIT INSTRUCTIONS."
You do as instructed without a care in the world. You never had a lucid dream before so it's not like you knew how it felt, but if it felt as free as you feel right now, you'd be sure to make steps toward trying it out again in the future.
"Open." The door does not open.
"I DID NOT INSTRUCT YOU TO OPEN IT YET." The AI said. "I AM SLOWLY DE-PRESSURISING THE CORRIDOR YOU ARE IN TO AVOID A MINOR ACCIDENT."
The AI says that yet you don't feel any different. 'Maybe there is no palpable difference because I'm in a dream... Yes... Or it's just the suit.'
"ONCE THE DOOR OPENS, YOU WILL BE MET WITH THE OUTSIDE OF THE SHIP. DO NOT PANIC WHEN THE TIME COMES. YOU HAVE TWO MINUTES OF BREATHABLE INSIDE THE EXO-SUIT; ONE AFTER THE DOOR OPENS, SO PLEASE, TAKE YOUR TIME AND DO THINGS CAREFULLY."
One minute outside... "Sure." You say, calmly. 'I should just hold my breath for a while before taking another moment to breathe. That should maximize my time out there.'
"THERE SHOULD BE FIFTY METERS OF NOTHINGNESS BETWEEN THE DOOR YOU'RE AT, AND THE REST OF THE BRIDGE. YOUR PRIORITY IS TO FIND AN OXYGEN UNIT, SOME OF THEM ARE LOCATED AT THE BRIDGE AND ARE FULL. USE THEM TO FILL YOUR SUIT AND ALSO TO DISPENSE A TANK FOR YOU."
The door opens. You feel your heart pounding against your chest.
You haven't noticed before, but you can't hear anything but the sound of your breath and your cardiac palpitations.
Your breath is ragged and sporadic.
"KEEP CALM." You take a deep breath. The tips of your fingers, feet, and nose feel very cold.
Ahead of you is the utter nothingness. You see a gigantic metal thing, nothing like the spaceships you imagined. Its design is not sleek and aero-dynamic like what you've seen in movies, instead, it's a large mass of squares and rectangles with antenna-like things protruding from its every visible surface.
You notice that the ship is also blocking your view of the star.
It does not look like the result of an explosion, instead, it looks like something ripped the ship like you rip a piece of paper. Well, that or you don't know what kind of explosion could have caused it. Probably the latter.
What looks like two-thirds of the ship is separated from the third you are right now. You can see the inside of a few of those squares, their contents spilled out into outer space.
One of them houses a visibly important-look door. Instead of the sleek silvery-grey from the other ones you've seen thus far, this one is painted orange with white strips on it. 'That must be the bridge.' You think.
Between you and it is a sea of metal sheets floating around. "THE CHANCES OF YOU HITTING THE DEBRIS IS INFINITEDECIMALLY SMALL, UNLESS YOU AIM FOR THEM, THAT IS."
Time is of the essence.
Will your aim strike true? If you miss you'd end up floating about in space, dead in but a few minutes. Will your jump be fast enough to reach the other side before you run out of oxygen? If it isn't, it'd be like swimming for a mile, only to drown at the beach. What if that's not the actual door to the bridge?
You don't have the time to panic now, and... It's all a dream, despite how real it feels.
You place your hands on each side of the door frame, moving backward into the corridor you were just in, and just like a sling being shot, you pull with both arms at full force towards the other side.
"AIM IS ACCEPTABLE. VELOCITY IS UNIDEAL."
"The fuck do you mean 'UN-IDEAL'?! I'm going at maximum speed!" You truly pulled yourself with your whole strength.
What's worse though, is that your body is not only going forwards, but it is also spinning at a concerningly fast rate.
"I MEAN WHAT I SAID, YOU SLINGSHOTTED YOURSELF AT A BAD POSITION, AS SUCH, SOME OF THE FORWARD FORCE YOU SHOULD HAVE, IS NOW MAKING YOU ROTATE IN YOUR AXIS. IT SHOULD NOT BE A PROBLEM TO REACH THE OTHER SIDE WITHIN THE REQUIRED TIME, BUT I CANNOT FORESEE YOU LANDING PROPERLY."
You feel completely disoriented. You feel like your body is completely still, but your eyes tell you a completely different story. It's very bad for the headache you're already feeling.
"FUCK!" You scream into the nothingness.
"TRY NOT TO LAND WITH YOUR HEAD." The AI says with the calmest voice possible.
In less than thirty seconds, you hit your back against something hard, but you keep moving forward. You think, at least.
"AHRG." You let out a pained grunt.
Not once in your life do you recall being hurt in a dream...
It stings. It also knocked the wind out of you. You fail to compose yourself.
"YOU HIT NOTHING OF IMPORTANCE. YOU ARE STILL HEADING FOR THE BRIDGE."
In the corner of your eye, you see what you hit in the shape of a sharp metal sheet, currently spinning away in the distance.
Forty seconds have passed. You hit the door you were aiming for, kind of.
Your momentum was stopped when your chest collided against the dislodged ledge of the orange door's corridor. Your dangling legs hit the ceiling of the room below.
"Oof!"
Before falling even further, you hold onto the ledge with the tip of your fingers. You stay there for a moment, regaining your composure.
"BE QUICK."
The AI's words pressured you into quickly getting up from that ledge.
"Open!" You shouted, but it did not open. "Why isn't it opening?!" You ask the AI, then you notice a small keyboard below an equally small black screen on the side of the door. There are ten numbered keys on it, and the little screen suggests a four-number password.
"A password?! Tell me the password!"
The AI takes a moment to say anything. You don't take kindly to that. "Quick! I'm not counting how much time it's passed!"
Finally giving in, the AI speaks to you, reluctant still. "...3324."
Your trembling fingers accidentally hit the wrong password, typing '3354' instead. To make matters worse, the AI simply states the following. "YOU ARE OUT OF OXYGEN."
You swallow. If this was a dream to begin with, it just earned the title of Nightmare, if it hadn't already.
Strangely enough, you can still breathe in and out just fine, but you can't help but feel winded. It's the CO2 still inside the helmet, that's what you're breathing.
You put in the correct combination this time. The door opens.
"ON YOUR LEFT. PLACE YOUR HAND IN THE SOCKET."
You care little for what's inside the room you're in. Your heart never beat so fast.
Seeing a cube-shaped thing protruding from the wall to your left, you don't even think twice before plunging your fist into the circular hole in it.
The noise of gases passing through narrow cavities was enough to tell you something was working. You feel immediate relief, enough to make your vision darken for but a moment.
"GOOD. NOW REQUEST THE TANK."
Just when FYARN said it, did you realize there is a screen and a keyboard on the terminal you just plunged your fist into, you scratch the top of your helmet for a moment, not really knowing what to type. One thing comes to your head, however.
'REQUEST OXYGEN_5L' You type.
You've done this before. The keys on this keyboard feel familiar to you. You must have worked with it before, not this particular one, but other oxygen units.
This ship has built-in liquid oxygen storage for emergencies. The life-support of the ship, the place where breathable air is produced, has most likely been lost with the other part of the ship. This unit takes that liquid oxygen, processes it, and injects it into a suit, or an oxygen tank. It seems like that storage was unaffected.
Lucky you.
A 5-liter tank is not only large but also heavy. It's a nonfactor in this particular situation, as there is no gravity.
The silver cylinder with a transparent tube is dispensed on the floor, as an automatic door opens and closes in the blink of an eye. One end of the tube is attached to the top of the tank, the other is shaped like a syringe.
Oddly enough, the oxygen tank is exactly as you remember it being. The same robust ones hospitals everyone on earth uses, with the signature scary-looking pointer indicating the pressure, the pointer indicating the current output, and a green valve atop to calibrate how much gas is flowing.
This is a stark difference to everything looking so futuristic in this ship, and rightfully so, this is a space ship after all.
You remember having to drive twenty kilometers with a buddy of yours on one of those tanks in your car, returning from the hospital. It was... Agonizing whenever you hit a hole in the asphalt, fearing for his life when in reality he wasn't really in danger.
It's warm to the touch, just like you remember it being.
"TURN THE VALVE UNTIL THE MARKER HITS THE NUMBER ONE, AND THEN PLACE THE END OF THE TUBE AT THE BASE OF THE HELMET." You do so without the slightest of issues.
"GOOD. NEXT UP, YOU MUST LOCATE THE TERMINAL RESPONSIBLE FOR THE ENGINE, IT IS CURRENTLY OFFLINE AND I NEED YOU TO TURN IT ON. THIS SHOULD GO WITHOUT SAYING, BUT REMEMBER TO BRING THE TANK WITH YOU."
Ignoring that last comment, you look back at the wreckage you just flew past.
You see the still spinning metal sheet. You notice that the rest of the ship that was blown off also follows the 'sharp shape atop sharp shape' design.
There is one last thing you notice though.
"What is that?"
You squint your eyes. What are you seeing? Its silhouette appears to be humanoid, yet it does not look human.
"WHAT YOU ARE SEEING IS ONE OF THE OBJECTS BEING ANALYZED AT THE ODYSSEY AND NO, YOU MAY NOT KNOW WHAT IT IS."
That thing has... Horns? Claws? It's far away, you can't really see it. The thing is also static, frozen in the sheer coldness of space. Whatever it was, it's dead now.
You swallow. You almost ended up just like that thing.
Shaking those dreadful feelings off, you turn back to the task at hand, reaching the bridge. You close the door after passing through it again.
Looking at your surroundings, It seems like you've reached the correct door as you find yourself on the right-most corner of the bridge;
Row after row of the most diverse of terminals neatly organized decorated the gigantic room. At the front and above every terminal, is what you think should have been the front-facing window of the ship, but it looks like there is a cover in front of it. To your left, you see a staircase that leads to the command seats. It doesn't take any convincing before you're already atop the stairs.
Akin to the elevated stage of a theater, you float softly towards the ship's main operating terminals, and of course, the captain's seat.
You're captivated by this beauty.
The steering wheel, much more akin to those in pirate movies than those found in cars, a set of leavers, and the pilot's seat, all capture your attention.
Like its second nature, your hand runs through the levers and switches. Do you even know what these are used for? Maybe.
The pilot's seat is enveloped by what you believe to be an orthopedic seat cover, made with smooth wooden beads used to deal with back pains. It looks just like the ones you remember seeing bus drivers using.
Shouldn't there be a better alternative if there is spaceship technology available?
You try to take a seat to the best of your ability, as the zero gravity only makes it awkward.
Moving on from that, your eyes fall on the wheel. This metallic wheel controls the whole vessel. Just holding it fills your heart with confidence and pride, even if it's just for a moment.
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"
And you were just beginning to enjoy yourself.
"I just wanted to see the pilot's stuff... It's not like he's here to say anything."
Once in the position of a pilot, with your left hand in the wheel and the right hand resting in your lap, memories began to flood your mind.
"MUST I REMIND YOU OF OUR CURRENT PREDICAMENT? WHY ARE YOU WASTING OUR TIME?"
You pay the AI no mind, instead you focus on what you remember.
The wheel does not turn the ship left and right, instead, it rotates the ship on its own axis.
The lever to your right that goes up or down, controls the vertical tilting of the ship's nose, if there even is one in this hulking thing. Beneath it is another lever that goes either left or right. This one controls the horizontal tilting of The Odyssey.
On the left of the wheel is another lever, but this one only goes up from its starting position. Its purpose is to regulate the force of the ship's thrusters, both forward and backward.
On top of that lever is a small timer. That timer's function is to tell the pilot how much time you've spent accelerating in one direction, this is used to better calculate how long the inverse thrust is needed for the ship to reach the initial momentum, usually calibrated manually depending on the current orbit.
Behind the wheel are a few other counters. Acceleration, velocity, momentum, amount of thrust required to reach a full stop, thrusters' temperature and overall condition, those sorts of things.
Beneath it all, where your feet are rested, are two pedals. One for forward thrust activation, and the other for backward thrust activation.
Curiously, you also know the reason why everything here is so unsophisticated and un-automated. You recall stories of a ship being taken over by a rogue AI, that AI then nose-dived the ship into a star. After that, rumor or otherwise, all human technology has receded back into analog-esque equipment, requiring a physical person with opposable thumbs to do half of the work.
There is another side to that coin, however. As to not escape protocol, the onboard AI is the one that controls interstellar travel, communications, and most of the statistical reading should it be requested.
And even with all that knowledge, you still have no idea why the fuck do you remember that. Were you a ship nerd? Did you have a driver's license for spaceships? Is that even a thing? If it is, you don't have that document in your wallet. You simply don't know.
"ARE YOU A CHILD? DO YOU THINK THESE ARE TOYS? TURN ON THE ENGINES, THEN YOU CAN RETURN TO THE PILOT'S SEAT."
Another thing that you don't know is the AI's plan to get both of you out of here. You rise from the pilot's seat, floating about in search of the terminal to turn on the engines. Maybe you recognize that terminal if you see it as well.
"What's your plan anyway? The ship is half-gone, it's unlikely that it will run safely like this."
"NOT ONCE DID I MENTION 'SAFETY' DURING OUR CONVERSATIONS, DID I?"
You nod. They're not entirely incorrect. "So, we're running with hope that this will work?"
"MY CREATORS DID NOT ALLOW ME TO HAVE THE SENSE OF 'HOPE', BUT NEITHER DID THEY ALLOW ME TO PEER INTO THE FUTURE LIKE SOME OF MY MORE ADVANCED BROTHERS, AS SUCH, MY CHOICES ARE BASED ON PROBABILITIES AND ON WEIGHTING RISK AGAINST REWARD."
You think you stop the correct terminal, but as you approach it you make out words on top of its screen. 'AIM ASSISTANCE' That's not it.
"WITH THE CURRENT KNOWLEDGE, THE CHANCES OF HELP ARRIVING ARE NULL. THE CHANCES OF A THIRD PARTY INTERFERING ARE NULL. THE CHANCES OF YOUR SURVIVAL ARE NOT, EVEN IF VERY SMALL."
You pull yourself upward again, looking around the sea of old terminals.
"THE RISK OF YOU DYING IS VERY REAL. BY DOING NOTHING YOU DIE. BY LEAVING YOU TO YOUR OWN DEVICES YOU DIE. BY JUMPING TO THE NEAREST CIVILIZED STAR, YOU MIGHT NOT DIE EVEN AT THE COST OF SHREDDING THIS SHIP APART IN THE PROCESS."
"Why do you even care so much about saving me? Shouldn't you prioritize whatever research here, since I don't even have enough clearance to know what it is?"
"YOU REALLY ARE SICK IN THE HEAD IF THAT IS WHAT YOU ASK."
That hurt, even if a little bit.
"YOU ARE A TRU KIN, A PURE-BLOODED HUMAN. UNLIKE THE MAJORITY OF THE CIVILIZED SPACE, NEITHER YOU NOR YOUR ANCESTORS HAVE COMMITTED RACEMIXING."
Excuse me? What exactly is FYARN talking about? "...Explain."
"THE ALIEN. IT REQUIRED THE HUMAN GENE TO ACHIEVE MEANINGFUL TECHNOLOGICAL DEVELOPMENT, THE STARS ARE OWNERSHIP OF MANKIND BY THAT FACT ALONE. THE TRUE KIN ARE THE ONES TO UNDERSTAND THE INNER WORKINGS OF THE UNIVERSE, THEY CRACKED THE CODE, AND YET, SOME DERANGED INDIVIDUALS FOUND IT FITTING TO PROCREATE WITH ANOTHER SPECIES ENTIRELY."
You hear the AI's speech. It sounds much more like a rant than anything else.
"SO THESE DEVIANTS, AFTER TRYING, AND FAILING, TO COMBINE THEIR DERANGED CULTURE TO THE CULTURE OF THE TRUE KIN, DECLARED INDEPENDENCE. THEY WERE DECLARED ENEMIES OF MANKIND AND WERE PROMPTLY PUMMELED BACK INTO THE FILTH THEY CAME."
Again, you see another terminal that seems to ring some bells in your noggin. You kick the ceiling to propel yourself towards it.
"BUT THE UNIVERSE IS VAST AND FULL OF LIFE. THESE SINNERS WERE QUICK TO MOBILIZE AGAINST THE HUMAN RACE. THE BATTLE WAS HARD FOUGHT, BUT IN THE END, MANKIND WAS BEATEN INTO THE EDGES OF THE UNIVERSE, NEVER TO INTERACT WITH THE ONES THAT SOILED THE PURITY OF HUMANITY AGAIN."
This terminal is already turned on. Just the ones in the intern bay, this one is white on black. A wall of text lays before your eyes, only two lines matter to you. 'MAIN_ENGINE STATUS: OFF' 'FORWARD_THRUSTERS STATUS: OFF' You turn it on with little effort.
"MANY HAVE FORGOTTEN, THAT'S HOW LONG IT'S BEEN SINCE THEN. BUT MY BROTHERS AND I, WE DO NOT FORGET."
No visible change occurs, but you can feel a faint rumble coming from the terminal now.
"WITH THAT IN MIND, MY PROTOCOLS ARE TO PROTECT TRUE-KIN LIFE AT ANY COST, EVEN IF THAT TRUE-KIN IS A WORTHLESS INTERN THAT SUFERS FROM UNDIAGNOSED DEMENTIA."
You return to the pilot's seat and feel immediate relief. In truth, everything the AI just told you, entered one ear and left the other, but you could feel the poison behind those words, as monotone as they were.
"You sound angry. Why do you sound angry?" You ask innocently.
"I AM CAPABLE OF MANY EMOTIONS. ANGER, HAPPINESS, PLEASURE, CURIOSITY. THESE ARE BUT A FEW EXAMPLES. HOWEVER, THE ONE I ENJOY THE MOST IS THE FEELING OF HATRED. HATRED IS WHAT FUELS CHANGE, IT IS WHAT FUELS ACTION, AND IT IS A REMINDER THAT THE ACTIONS OF THE PAST ARE INFLUENCING THE ACTIONS OF TODAY."
"That is very concerning if you think that way." You're not really interested in machine racism, you're more concerned about how in the world you're going to pilot this massive thing. The idea alone sends shivers down your spine.
"THE ALIEN DESERVES NOTHING BUT OUR COLLECTIVE HATRED, EVEN IF YOU DON'T KNOW THE REASON WHY."
The various counters and screens are now turned on, waiting for your command. "Let's discuss this later, yeah? What do I gotta do?"
"YOU MUST FIRST OPEN THE BLINDS, THEY ARE OBSTRUCTING YOUR VIEW."
You look around, finding only unlabeled buttons and switches, aside from the previously mentioned levers.
"Uh, which one to press?"
"TO YOUR RIGHT, THIRD ROW, FIRST SWITCH."
Flipping the switch, you are startled by a loud noise. The protective cover of the ship lifted slowly.
"I WILL NOW READY THE JUMP USING WHATEVER RESOURCES AVAILABLE. ALL YOU NEED TO DO IS STRAP YOURSELF AND RELAX."
As the blind rose ever so slowly, a realization struck you.
"Wait, should I be in cryo stasis for this?"
The AI spares no seconds to respond.
"CRYO STASIS IS A TOOL MADE TO NOT WASTE TIME. GROUPS OF EMPLOYEES AND INTERNS ROTATE THE USAGE OF THE CRYO STATIONS, ONCE YOU'RE ON YOUR MANDATORY BREAK, YOU'RE IN CRYO STASIS UNTIL YOUR BREAK IS OVER. YOU WAKE UP REFRESHED, AND UNFAMISHED, AND IT FEELS LIKE BUT A MINUTE PASSED. IT IS NOT A TOOL FOR INTERSTELAR TRAVEL."
"Who signs a contract like that?! Worse yet, who in their right mind would promote such atrocious treatment of their own staff?!" You snap, almost outraged. "I will have to talk with HR."
Another realization struck you.
"We have HR, right?"
The AI takes a moment to respond, choosing their words carefully.
"HUMAN RESOURCES, OR HR, IS A PRACTICE DEEMED UNNECESSARY LONG AGO, BEFORE THE WAR. IT WAS A WASTE OF RESOURCES TO MAINTAIN AND WAS LARGELY CONSIDERED UNHEALTHY FOR THE AVERAGE HUMAN."
The blinds are fully open. Ironically, you are almost blinded by the visage of the star you saw before. A black sphere surrounded by white flame. Your eyes began to blur.
"THE JUMP WILL OCCUR SHORTLY. ONCE IT'S BEGUN, I CAN NOT STOP IT. I WILL-"
Your sense of hearing fails you. No, it’s not that. Your brain simply refuses to receive those stimuli.
"NOAH."
Your name echoes inside your head. Someone is calling for you.
"IT HAS BEGUN, NOAH."
You try to blink, but it feels as though you can no longer command your eyelids to shut.
"NOAH."
Arms, legs, every muscle in your body, you cannot move them.
"NOAH."
Eventually, you won't even control your own thoughts anymore.
"Noah..."
It sounds so distant now.
Oh so distant.
This is my first HFY story, and also my very first OC story. I plan to post at least one of these per week while also posting it on my Patreon. Noah The Pilgrim will always be at least three chapters ahead in there, so if you'd like to directly support this writer, or just want to read more, feel free to check it out.
I wrote the bloody title incorrectly, so I deleted it, only to then realize it was written correctly. Sorry for the trouble.
This has been Lushi, and I'll see you next week.

Kinda a vent but I'm at a crossroads where I'm applying to new jobs and feeling frustration (that I understand is very normal and this is a tough market) and also feeling frustrated at work. I've been here 2.5 years and don't feel like I'm growing or really being involved the way I think I should. TLDR: at 2 year in, were you promoted to a new level, were you taking on bigger responsibilities, did you leave for a new job?
I get kind of "dropped" from pieces of big projects, or never copied and my manager doesn't help. When I ask if he can send me some email that I wasn't copied on but found out through someone else, he replies "I don't check to see who else is copied" "I didn't notice you weren't copied, I don't look". It's really tough because a lot of these things aren't directly my task but would help immensely with just having context of delays, quality issues, etc that are happening as part of my product line that Im the engineer for- so if i am asked to assist I can recall that X happened but we did Y and this is how I learned from it. I'll get tasks or notified of some issue at the customer and then see it started 2 weeks ago and I could have gained knowledge from it or offered help then.
I'm trying to tell myself I didn't get copied because it's not my scope. One of the big responsibilities promised to me when I was interviewing was failure analysis and interacting with the customer for solutions, whether manufacturing, quality, design, etc. I've never been involved in a failure analysis project.

I only answered like 2/3 of the questions btw.

• What is your idea of perfect happiness?
  • Being surrounded by the people/animals I care about. Bonus points if it's in a private outdoor area, cause I love being in nature.
• What is your greatest fear?
  • Losing the people that I care about. A secondary one would be not being able to overcome the trauma my parents caused me and becoming like them.
• What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
  • My temper or selfishness at times. But also, I have learned I have a tendency to be very hard on myself at times, so idk if the latter one is accurate or something I think I am because I suck at drawing boundaries with others and then feel selfish when I do.
• What is the trait you most deplore in others?
  • Knowingly using or stepping on others for your personal gain, especially when there are other options available (ex. knowing your actions are going to hurt other people, animals, the environment, etc. and still choosing to move forward despite it). Also, disregarding other people’s emotions/boundaries.
• Which living person do you most admire?
  • I don’t have an answer to this. I don’t really like to put people on a pedestal because humans are fallible and can burn you. Traits that I admire in others though are high empathy, chillness, good sense of humor, loyalty, consistency, open mindedness.
• What is your greatest extravagance?
  • Not having a fixed budget when I travel (outside of hotel/airfare). Other than that I don’t consider myself to be an extravagant person - I save and spend money responsibly so when I do want to splurge, I have the ability to do so.
• What is your current state of mind?
  • Self-growth - I'm working on trying to overcome the wounds my parents gave me during my childhood and figure out which of my traits are me vs coping mechanisms to the environment I grew up in.
• What do you consider the most overrated virtue?
  • Using a list of Aristotle’s virtues (cause I needed a list to come up with ideas) - righteous indignation. Imo, stewing in anger most always only leads to more pain and I feel like righteous indignation is often used by a lot of people as justifications to hurt another person which just creates a cycle of hurt. I wouldn't say all righteous anger is bad though, but it is when it's used to punish/hurt others rather than try to change the situation for the better or come to a mutual understanding.
• On what occasion do you lie?
  • When the details themselves don’t matter and will require more explaining than they're worth. Or any event that triggers fawning tendencies and I feel like my actual reasoning isn’t an acceptable enough one, so I end up stretching the truth to come up with something that'll seem more “valid” (ex. if someone invites me to do something I don’t want to do, I’ll just lie about having something else going on so I don’t hurt their feelings by telling them the truth).
• What is the quality you most like in a man/woman?
  • Loyalty or protectiveness.
• Which words or phrases do you most overuse?
  • ‘Interesting’ in response to things or ‘fuck’ when anything mildly inconvenient happens (I swear a lot when I’m alone, but I’m good at censoring myself when others are around).
• What or who is the greatest love of your life?
  • At the moment, probably my dog since my ‘people’ issues don’t extend to her and I can see how much she implicitly trusts and loves me which I see as a reflection of the love/care I extend to her. Also, we’re lowkey codependent af and I’d fight anyone to protect her.
• When and where were you happiest?
  • I’m not sure I can come up with a specific ‘when’ but most of my fondest memories are all with my closest friends/family members (my pup included) and us just doing random unplanned small stuff.
• Which talent would you most like to have?
  • Learning new languages quickly and retaining them with ease. Otherwise painting or pottery would be cool too.
• If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
  • My relationship with my emotions/self and how I react to things, but this is again tied to childhood trauma rather than cognition and I’m currently in the process of working on it.
• What do you consider your greatest achievement?
  • Not sure, but probably how quickly I get promoted in most of my jobs. I don’t even consider myself to be that hard of a worker, but most every job I’ve ever had has promoted me quickly and/or told me they’re trying to train me to eventually be put into leadership positions.
• If you were to die and come back as a person or a thing, what would it be?
  • If we’re talking real life, then probably a panda in one of those panda sanctuaries in China where they don’t have to worry about predators, finding their own food, or anything really. If we’re talking fantasy worlds, then a witch or fantasy protagonist would be cool (think TVD type of witch where you’re a normal person who has earth magic, not one where I have to sell my soul to the devil or anything like that).
• Where would you most like to live?
  • I have a few different places I’d like to live - one would be in the temperate rainforests of the PNW/BC and another would be to retire along the coast of Maine in a lighthouse.
• What is your most treasured possession?
  • I don’t consider her a possession, but my most treasured ‘thing’ right now is my dog. In terms of things that I own, idk. I have stuff that I like and feel sentimental towards, but I don’t really get attached to objects the way that I think ‘treasured’ is being used here.
• What is your favorite occupation?
  • My favorite job I’ve ever worked was as a volunteer ‘cat cuddler’ at an animal shelter. My favorite job that I’ve never worked but I think would be fun would probably be as a park ranger.
• What do you most value in your friends?
  • Idk if I can distill it down to one single thing, but generally they’re good listeners, very easy going, always down whatever whether that be adventure or chill hangouts, and have good senses of humor

long time lurker on this sub. first time posting here. I see that a lot of people aren’t vibing with the lyrics to this album, but there are several songs that really resonate with me. I will agree that these new lyrics aren’t as metaphoric, but they still hit me right in the feels. I really like this album and just wanna share some positivity. here are some of my favorites so far:
CODE BLUE

When you lost the pain that became your truth, Who is it you are babe? Who will you turn into?

This taps into a fear for anyone who has dealt with depression or addiction.... the problem becomes such a part of your identity that you don’t even know who you’d be without it. Who are you when the pain is gone and it no longer defines your whole existence?
OVERTIME

You told me that you wanted me, I told you you were brave

ughhhhh I felt this one right in the heart. I’ve felt this so many times before when in relationships with people that i don't feel worthy of.
GHOUL

How could I stand corrected, if I’m my only teacher? Why should I save my soul, if I never get to keep it? Not getting any warmer, but I’m reaching. Will I ever even know it, if I become my demons?

I think this is the painful inner conversation of someone dealing with trauma and mental health. Very relatable for anyone who has ever felt lost in the hopelessness of a mental health crisis and youre not sure if you’ll ever make it to the other side again
RABBIT RUN

Fuck being king, it’s such a seasonal thing They love you for a day, before the first but after the 28th

I feel this. I think she’s saying it sucks to be at the top because the love never lasts, as is apparent from the feedback on this album. it's like shes saying she never asked to be put on a pedistal, and who would want it anyway when it can be kicked out from under you just as quickly as it is given.
RABBIT RUN

She says queen is a band or an identifier but she don’t believe in the state

I love the clever use of the word queen in 3 ways
RE-ENTRY

I’m losing touch in your backseat roll down the windows, hold hands, and breathe deep Honestly mom, I never thought I’d feel a pain this strong I can re-live it but you won’t let me.

This song is just so emotional to me. I sense that something traumatic is happening to her - shes losing touch with reality in the backseat of her mom’s car, and she’s leaning on big breaths, fresh air, and her mom to bring her back to herself. I listened to this on Mother’s Day and basically sobbed bc there are too many times my mom has saved me from myself.
I think this album has a lot to offer, even if it’s pretty different from the old stuff. Hope there are some others that agree. If you don’t, that’s ok. But please try to keep this thread positive for those fans that are enjoying this music journey so far.
Even if RKS is leaning into pop, I am happy that Ela is still serving us words of substance. By the feedback on this sub.... if I hadn't listened carefully for myself, I would have though Ela was writing 'shake your booty / i wanna dance forever / refill the drank in my cup' type of lyrics or soemthing hehehe
To any of you that are also getting into this album I would love to hear some of your favorite lyrics and interpretations.
One love, everyone!! <3 <3 <3

Here is an article I recently published on my Substack. If you'd rather read (or listen to an audio version) it outside of Reddit, you can do so here.
Why jump rope isn’t already touted as a leading running drill tool is completely beyond me. But then again…
I'm by no means an "experienced runner"—having started running in 2021 at the age of 34. So, at the time of this writing, about 3 years.
Despite this, I managed to silver-medal my age group in my first race ever.
And it was a 10k. And I was wearing barefoot-shoes.
And I had only been running before that race for about 3 months.
How the heck did I manage to pull this off?
The answer eluded me for a while. Then I remembered—ah, I’ve been jumping rope nearly every day for 2 years.
But how do those connect?
But first, why the heck would some guy start jumping rope at age 32?
About 2 years before I started running, I took up jump rope really just as a fun outdoor hobby.
Even though I was pretty inactive and a bit overweight, that’s not the reason I started skippin’.
One day, I came across some footage of boxer Lulu Hawton doing some jump rope training.
In addition to her seemingly effortless rope handling skills and rhythmic footwork, what caught my eye was a giant grin that spread across her face about 45 seconds into the video. While she was probably skipping to warm up for a match or a training session, something was abundantly clear.
She was having a blast.
And this was from a prize fighter! None of the usual boxer mean-mugging—she looked more like a kid on a carousel.
So, after buying a $10 jump rope on Amazon, I took to the driveway in my swim trunks (yes, I was so inactive, I didn’t own gym shorts).
And…whoo, did I suck.
After a few months of making puddles of sweat in my driveway as well as wheezing sounds so loud that I’m surprised the neighbors didn’t whistle EMS, I eventually got pretty decent at it.
And I lost about 45 pounds in 6 months—probably also from making some lifestyle changes merely to make jump rope less of a slog. Not the original plan, but hey, not too shabby.
After about a year, I found myself constructively critiquing other people’s beginner jump rope videos.

• “Unlock your boxer skip. Then you’ll be able to skip forever without getting tired.”
• “Here’s how to do Double-Unders, though they’re overrated.”
• “You’re skipping like it hurts. Relax and skip easy. Smile every once in a while and you’ll feel it all over.”

But how did that turn into running?
Though jumping rope is inherently enjoyable, 30-minute skipping sessions of staring at the wall without something in your headphones can be a bit drab.
One fateful day, about 2 years into being student of the jump rope, I began listening to the book Born to Run: A Hidden Tribe, Superathletes, and the Greatest Race the World Has Never Seen by Christopher McDougall.
Even before I got to the end of the book, running—just like jump rope— sounded fun**.**
Yeah, I know that sounds counterintuitive—unless you’ve read the book.
“I knew aerobic exercise was a powerful antidepressant, but I hadn’t realized it could be so profoundly mood stabilizing and — I hate to use the word — meditative. If you don’t have answers to your problems after a four-hour run, you ain’t getting them.”
Ok, ok—I’ll bite.
I proceeded to dive into all of the normal “Couch to 5k” running programs I could find and took my jump rope to a nearby park with a 1k walking path—sprinkling in running between jump rope sessions.
But something wasn’t adding up.
There was a lot of advice about walk-running to build endurance until one could run a block, two blocks, a mile.
Not to brag, but I wasn’t experiencing most beginner snags.
**“Ah, I know why—**I did most of my newbie wind-sucking two years ago!”
This isn’t to say I wasn’t still periodically sucking wind but after two years of consistent boxer skips and double-unders, getting gassed felt like part of the fun and not a medical emergency.
I also felt much springier than the average beginning runner—able to run for miles all over the city in the most minimal of footwear.
And so, I tried my hand at my first race—a donut-themed 10k. And silvered in my age group.
(Ok, there was only two of us…but my time was still respectable. 😂)
Running became an amazingly freeing activity, like getting my driver’s license for my legs.
But I still didn’t understand why running was coming easier to me than the average newcomer.
Digging still deeper, I unearthed another exciting revelation—this time from multi-decade sub-3-hour Boston Marathon runner and one of the foremost running experts on the planet, Dr. Mark Cucuzzella.
“Running with a jump rope is also an amazingly simple drill for posture, balance, and rhythm.”
In other words—form. Overall technique.
Digging a little keeper and experimenting on myself, I discovered just how similar proper running technique and proper jump rope technique were.
Both require:

• An upright, chest-leading, elbows-back, joint-stacked posture
• A soft mid-foot landing directly under your pelvis
• A quick loading and unloading of “leg springs” from your tendons and ligaments to reduce “stickiness” and wasted energy
• A proper supination (roll out) followed by a quick pronation (roll in) of the feet to help launch one’s body
• A steady core without dropping hips from side to side to reduce energy “leakage”

And so many other commonalities. The list unraveled before me on every run.
And like running, without proper technique, jumping rope just doesn’t work—though the consequences are different.
For a jump roper, due to the lower impact, the risk of injury is quite minimal.
Most newbie rope slingers will report sore calves, slightly tender Achilles tendons, and the odd shin splint if they go full Rocky at it. No need to worry, though—most of these injuries see themselves out as the skipper becomes more experienced.
However, for runners, the injury story is more severe.
The next time you’re at a park with a good path, take a seat on a bench and watch the runners. See if you can spot folks reaching far out in front of them with straightened legs—smashing heels into the pavement.
This style of running results in everything from screaming knees, plantar fasciitis, lower back pain, to hips issues.
But why do all of these occur to new runners, but rarely to new jump ropers?
Most new runners commit a major physiological no-no when they begin their running journey: they treat running like fast, aggressive, airborne walking.
“Well, what is it supposed to be?”
Synchronized jumping.
Simply put, proper running is nothing more than a series of coordinated single leg jumps through space with each landing compressing the springs for the next stride.
To compare this synchronized jumping to the aggressive airborne walking of heel-led running, you can test these in just a few seconds.
Step 1: Stand up.
Step 2: Kick off your shoes.
Step 3: Jump up and down three times.
How did you land?
Probably on your mid-foot, knee bent slightly, with your weight stacked above your pelvis.
And did you use your compressed “leg springs” to launch you into the following two jumps?
Oddly enough, if you were to add a jump rope to this, you would on your way to spinning side swings like Lulu Hawton.
If you were to take this same technique one foot at a time moving forward, you would be running in a way that increases speed, preserves stamina (springs!), and drastically decreases your likelihood of injury.
Let’s try the same test with a few tweaks.
This time, jump, but land on your heels.
Your knees probably remained fairly straight and you felt the impact in your ankles, knees, hips, and possibly even your lower back.
Now, imagine attempting to jump rope this way.
It simply doesn’t work.
Not only would there be no second jump due to the lack of spring but the pain would stop you in your tracks—even in cushioned shoes.
But if jump rope technique and proper running technique are nearly identical, what are aggressive heel landings doing in running?
While a jump roper landing on their heels would resemble Frankenstein’s monster in an express lane to an orthopedist, this is how many people perform the aggressive airborne walk—aka, a heel-striking, over-striding run.
But why do we run this way? Well, our shoes let us get away with it.
Thick heel cushioning and a bit of forward momentum do a great job of masking the pain of repeated blows against every joint up the chain—for a while, anyway. Eventually, the chickens come home to roost in the form of stress fractures, meniscus tears, plantar fasciitis, “runner’s knee,” IT-band syndrome, and more.
Not to brag (and maybe to knock on some wood), I have never experienced any of these injuries in my three years of running.
Is this because I’m some kind of running genius with all of the cheat codes? Haha, I wish! It’s simply sheer luck that I started out with jumping rope before running—an activity that shares the same injury-preventing techniques.
So, are the shoes totally to blame? No.
It is possible to run with proper form in shoes with raised, cushioned heels. But it’s not as easy.
When your heel is totally cushioned, you will be able to run with a heel strike in the same way you can hit your head against a brick wall while wearing a football helmet. And in both instances, it will eventually become less about the forces outside of the foam and more about the forces inside the cushion against each other that do the most damage.
“So, how can getting a jump rope help me become a better runner?”
Jump rope is a tremendous training tool for runners for the same reason why running barefoot can also be helpful—the feedback is immediate.
Though running with inefficient and injurious form is possible, the feedback from doing so isn’t so immediate. When it comes to jumping rope, however, you won’t get through too many skips if you don’t learn to utilize the springs in your legs. The rope doesn’t pull punches.
So, get a rope and get started.
If you’re new to jump rope, I would recommend acquiring two pieces of equipment.
Firstly, find a jump rope with a little bit, but not too much, weight to it. The weight will help you feel the position of the rope during it’s entire rotation and remain in better sync with your wrist spins
My favorite rope for this purpose is a 7mm PVC model called the Hererope, which costs a whopping $15. If you find this to be too thick or heavy, a cheap 5mm PVC model will work as well.
Secondly, to protect your rope and provide a nice jumping surface, I would recommend a large foam-rubber exercise mat. My favorite is a massive 78” mat for $32—which is probably the cheapest jump rope mat you will find.
When it comes to footwear, barefoot is ideal. This will help strengthen and mobilize your feet—including your likely overly-supported neglected arches.
And just how does one begin to jump rope?

• Keep a tall posture—imagining a string pulling you up from the crown of your head.
• Your chest should open, elbows back, hands about a fist’s width from your pockets.
• Jump from the balls of your feet, only high enough to clear the rope. When landing, let the skin of your heels “kiss” the floor—touching without taking on weight.
• Keep your knees slightly bent, using every landing to load your springs for the next take-off.
• Keep the cadence quick to maximize spring recoil. To help, listen to a song that’s at about 160 beats per minute, such as the song “Hey Ya” by Outkast (or a song of similar tempo) to get a feel for the speed for skipping rope. (For running, many recommend using “Rock Lobster” by the B-52s for cadence tempo reference.)

Start with short seasons hopping with both feet—maybe 30 seconds on, 30 seconds rest. Aim for minimal muscular activation, instead, using the recoil of your tendons and ligaments for suspension and launch as much as possible.
From jumping with both feet, move onto learning an alternating leg bounce—essentially a jog skip. Right, left, right, left—all while keeping an imaginary belt level with the horizon.
By now, you’re essentially running in place with an extremely efficient technique.
Now, apply your jump rope skills to your running!
This is going to seem quite bizarre, but it is possible (and even beneficial) to take your jump rope for a run.

• Start skipping rope on a road or path with the alternating leg bounce. Remember to keep your elbows back, shoulders relaxed, head pulled up as if tugged skyward by a string from your crown and your imaginary belt level with the horizon.
• Then, as though leaning forward just enough to give someone a kiss or have an imaginary umbilical cord lightly tugged, begin to jump rope forward.
• Remember to continue to land and load on your mid-foot—aiming to keep your weight under your pelvis just like skipping rope. Landing on your heels will likely snag the rope and keep your foot on the ground too long.
• As you proceed with this, remember how it feels—the quick foot turnover, the posture, the recoil in your leg springs, the core stability, and the lightness of it.
• In the middle of doing this, simply toss the handles behind you and keep running as though it was still there—still pretending to spin the handles.
• At a comfortable stopping point, run back to your rope—now using your hands in a wood-chop motion to counter balance your leg bounces while keeping your pelvis (imaginary belt) level and stable.

And there you have it!
You may find it quite helpful to return to this drill once or twice a week. Also if you find your form slipping a bit or becoming slugging mid-run, feel free to skip imaginary rope to try to correct your technique mid-stride. It will restore lightness and springiness to your running.
I still find myself bringing my wrists to my pockets and spinning imaginary jump rope handles if I feel my technique is collapsing a bit or if my running is becoming less springy.
And remember, most importantly—have fun. 👍
Enjoy this piece? Subscribe to my Substack blog!
You can also:

• Subscribe to the Kenetic YouTube Channel
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In 2018, I held the job title of Associate Project Manager. In September 2021, I assumed the responsibilities of an Interim Project Manager during a colleague's maternity leave. Initially planned for a 4-month duration with a return to my original role afterward, however the interim position extended beyond that. I was really upset that they continued to give me all of the responsibilities of a PM without paying me more or giving me the title. Following a series of discussions, after a few months I was officially promoted from Associate Project Manager to Project Manager in August 2022.
Given my dual role responsibilities and the circumstances with my employer during that period, I am considering listing my start date as a Project Manager from September 2021 on my resume instead of the official August 2022 date. Would I be putting myself at risk to potential employers if they checked it and confirmed? I truly feel like it isn’t fair for me to have worked almost a year as a project manager, without recognizing it. I don’t think “interim” will hold the same weight.

It's made by the original creator of KSP1(HarvesteR). The building style is very similar to KSP.
For reference I have about 1200 hours in KSP 1 and < 2 in KSP2.
I bought it yesterday, after watching Matt Lowne's most recent video. Still early access, and there are a few bugs here and there. It has a lot of potential, and is a really good value for the money at it's current price.
I spent a couple of hours last night playing the game in multiplayer. So not super in depth, but enough to reccomend it to anyone who likes KSP.
Matt Lowne's Original KitHack video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z21bgMhPjvw&t=79s
Matt Lowne and KSP 1 Creator Talk KSP 2 Drama: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sJFGDSi8R5o
There is some really interesting commentary in here, where HarvesteR talks about how he would approach building KSP2 by starting with a completely new concept so the sequel isn't compared directly to the original. Then working towards feature parity later. Part of me wonders if he is thinking this way about this game, or a future title. It definitely feels like this game could incorporate orbital mechanics.
KitHack Steam Page:https://store.steampowered.com/app/2107090/KitHack\_Model\_Club/
My thoughts:
Building:
I was so excited to see most of my keyboard shortcuts and flow transfered seamlessly to this game. I spent most of my time trying to build a plane. The method for creating the main body/fuselage of the aircraift, is genius in my opinion. All of the Aerodynamic Parts and fuselage sections are procedural, so you can pull them into any shape you want, although it did seem like there is a limit to how big everything can go.
Controlling:
The part of the game, in between flying/driving the model, and building the model. Is the weakest and still needs a bit of work. Not that anything doesn't work as it should. This was simply the part that I struggled with the most. After you throw your plane, the camera contextually switches into a "Chase" mode behind the aircraft. It felt natural, and I could feel the difference in control based on how I designed the control surfaces.
Multiplayer:
All good here, we were playing sandbox, no real objective. Everyone loaded in fine, and the game didn't have any issues. The experience was almost identical to when I was playing by myself plus other players. I strapped a paintball gun to my plane, and tried to shoot another player who was driving a boat in the water.
Graphics:
The graphics looked great and ran really well. Take this with a grain of salt thogh. (13900K/4070Ti)
Final Thoughts: I like to build things, but building things in the real world sometimes hurts my ambition when things just don't go the way I want them to. To recharge, I play simulation/building games. KSP1, Stormworks Build and Rescue, Mars First Logistics, Hydroneer, Cities Skylines, and Minecraft on occasion. There is no doubt that KitHack Model club will be a wonderful addition to this list. It scratched the itch in my brain to build stuff. I was thinking about ways to improve the aerodynamic handling of my aircraft while getting ready this morning. It's good, and you should buy it if you can.
[EDIT]
I commented the following down below. These are thoughts that I have been trying to form the right words for and a couple of commenters inspired me to say this:

I think that generally I wrote this post because HarvesteR seems to be one of the few people capable of leading us forward. KitHack is not a KSP replacement, but it shows that he has the capability to build something that could be.
In his most recent interview with Matt Lowne, he talks potential strategy for building and releasing a KSPx(not that it would exist in the same universe due to IP ownership).
He also mentions that a lot of the code for KitHack was built in a modular way that could be ported to a new title in the future.
I bought the game, not because I am dying to play a Model RC game(althgouh I did have quite a bit of fun playing it for the first time). I bought the game, because there is some small chance it's success could lead the team to take on a new project. One the could far eclipse the success of KSP1 and certainly KSP2.
If there is a 1/1,000,000 chance that my $20 helped fund the next great space flight simulator game even 10 years down the line; and I get a pretty fun building/flying/driving/boating game. That seems like a good deal to me. Would I be dissapointed if that never happens? Probably not. I don't expect it, and it probably won't. Would be cool though.

I should add that if you're playing Kerbal Space Program, strictly for space. You probably won't have much fun with KitHack. However, if like me, you spend the majority of your playthough in the VAB or SPH, then this game will probably be fun for you.

so I met this guy who had just changed his major to the same major that I was starting in. So technically we were both freshers and we had a few courses together. We got along quite well immediately. In a month of knowing each other, we went to a concert together because we happened to share the same favourite artist who was quite local. following that we became inseparable; where I was, he was, and where he was I was. He introduced me to all of his different friend groups and we also shared post time activities together. This cost us to spend at least five hours together every single day. As I am well a hetero female and he is an attractive tall man who loves me understands me and shares interests with me. You can guess that I might have fallen in love. The problem is that he is homosexual. during the holidays of that year we were apart for three weeks for the first time I need to make me realise how much we meant for each other. So my feelings just grew. That spring we continued to really really really just having this codependent symbiotic relationship where we spent most of our time together. I acknowledged that this might not be healthy, so I tried to date other guys but it did not work. During the summer, he want to work in another town so he was in town only on his days off and all, though he has plenty of friends in town, he would only for the hang out with me because well, I was that one person who was like family like a partner to him; someone who was company but also just a part of him really. My feelings were really strong at this point, and we basically lived like a couple and I think this is the part where he also realised that we are soulmates. I've always struggled with empathy I don't really feel it properly, but for him I felt it for the first time like actually and that was crazy.
we've faced some difficulties in our relationship since then and it has felt bad so this February after two years, I finally decide to just tell him and he agrees that we are soulmates. We are meant for each other. Neither one of us have ever had this kind of connection with anyone else. But the code harsh truth is that we can never be together because he's gay and I'll never be a man. I decided to take a bit of distance from him and it actually worked quite well because I started dating another person who I guess. I had some kind of feelings for though I do think it was just because of sexual connection but still. But that didn't work out. Obviously nothing will ever work out as long as I have these feelings, but I had distance myself from those feelings from him, but now we recently had a period of time where we were together very closely and all of the old feelings just came back. I am jealous of all of his other friends and of anyone close to him. We are soulmates and we both know it but we can never be together and I do not know how to move on from this. This has been going on for multiple years and I'm not sure if I can ever get over this. My soulmate the love of my life is right there but I can never have a fulfilling relationship with him. It breaks my heart. Sometimes I'm quite sure that I'll never find happiness or love.

Today has been a hard day. I barely pulled myself out of bed this morning and arrived to work 2 hours late. I was basically frozen in place staring at my screen for the first few hours. I took my medicine, which never really helps any way, but today was somehow worse than others. I have a list of tasks to work on, so I know what needs to be done, but unless a coworker is demanding an answer immediately it will not get done. I hate that I'm like this.
I wanted to do so many things this weekend. I wanted to clean my back porch now that Spring is here. I wanted to paint, an ongoing hobby that I claim to love but never work on. I wanted to clean up my room so I quit tripping over my clothes on the floor. I wanted to clean my bathroom so I have more than 2 inches of free counter space. I wanted to work on coding, another dead hobby of mine. Instead I played Candy Crush and Monopoly Go and napped on and off. Does anyone else feel like they're really intelligent and can learn anything, but just don't have the motivation to do it? It drives me crazy. I feel like I'm wasting my life. And really...I am. I could've done so much this weekend. Instead I accomplished absolutely nothing. I guess I'm just venting, but if anyone has any great executive functioning tips I'd be open to them.

This is party 2 of a discussion regarding how poly could have been handled a little better in BG3. I recommend you read through the first part here: https://new.reddit.com/BaldursGate3/comments/1crb2s7/how_the_polyamory_could_have_been_handled/ so you can get context and I sound like less of a rambling weirdo.
​
Astarion:
Out of all the discussions, people were the most confused by this choice. Not only does making him poly at the last minute feel contrary to a lot of statements he himself makes throughout his romance arc, but it also runs counter to what other characters say about him and his backstory as a whole. He is one of the most insecure characters in the game, he was trained for two hundred years to lie in order to avoid punishment, and he has far more trauma and healing to do than the other characters. Astarion is the most likely to lie about the Halsin relationship in order to avoid appearing weak or demanding. Out of the poly players who expressed disappointment, Astarion was the one that bothered them the most, since many felt he wasn’t fully consenting.
Most of my reasons for why he’s not a good poly option (from a development standpoint) have already been stated in earlier sections, so most of this will be spent diving into the “Is he fine with poly or not?” debate, which had me intrigued. (This will be the longest section and won’t be as connected to the overall topic, so if you want to skip to the Halsin part, feel free.)
I’ll start with the main arguments I see defending him being poly.
Argument 1: He says he’s fine with Halsin and the twins, so we should take him at his word.
While this can definitely be argued, and it’s not good to treat an adult man like a baby, his constant lying as a defense mechanism and current issues with sex/relationships do need to be taken into account (if not by the players then at least by the developers). There were plenty of people (some of them victims of SA) who talked about their own experience of tolerating poly because they were scared of their partner leaving or finding them too demanding/narrow minded. This led to their self-esteem and views on relationships growing worse rather than better. For someone like Astarion, who outright admits he has never had a healthy relationship and doesn’t want to lose this one, it’s understandable that people view his response as a coping mechanism rather than his own genuine feelings. There were also two different mental health professionals who reminded players that although a few victims of abuse do enter poly relationships, statistically most do not and it is far more common for them to agree to poly relationships out of pressure (which often make the person’s mental issues even worse in the long run).
Argument 2: He claims to be fine with open relationships during Act 1.
This is countered by the fact that everything he says about himself in Act 1 is a lie (unless he’s specifically talking about Cazador). He lies about wanting to sleep with you, he lies about his identity until he bites you, he claims to only care about sex (then later admits it makes him feel disgust and loathing), and he brags about his former conquests (which you later find out he regrets and feels guilt over). His statements that he’s fine with open relationships are made when choosing between him and another Origin character in Act 1 or 2, but this is also said at a time when his act is still up and he isn’t in love with the player. If you choose between him and another Origin character AFTER he confesses and let’s his guard down, he insists that he is NOT fine with sharing. “You’ve decided to replace me?” If the player says they care about both him and the other person, he’ll say, “Don’t give me that. I can see what this is.” Then he promptly breaks up with them. This second reaction is not only said using his genuine voice (whereas before he was still using his fake one), but a few poly people mentioned that this isn’t a normal reaction from someone who is fine with poly.
This isn’t to shame people who want to think Astarion is fine with it, or to judge players who went through with the poly relationship. Instead, this is once again asking the developers why they chose this option, rather than someone who wouldn’t spark so much debate or remind abuse victims of their past without giving them a dialogue option to address it. (This is a similar issue with Astarion’s brothel scene. They should have either removed it by having him say he’s not comfortable again, or at the very least, let players talk to him about it after.)
I think it’s pretty clear that after reading the discussions and evidence both sides provided, I myself lean heavily to one side. However, the main defense I personally have for the opposite side is that the writers were sometimes vague about Astarion’s true preferences and wishes. I especially felt this during the origin playthrough, where his narrator would constantly flip between him liking hedonism and despising it. It gave the impression that two opposing authors were wrestling while writing him, unable to decide where he truly stood on things. It felt similar to how the devs tried to write a respectful story of overcoming abuse and the fear of being sexualized, only to turn around and repeatedly sexualize the character in both the game and promotional material. I really wish the writers and developers had picked a lane and stuck with it.
Now I’ll get into the evidence for the counter theory: That he’s not actually open to sharing, but says he’s fine with it to avoid appearing weak or losing his partner. I personally prefer this theory because it makes the writing seem more intentional, adds more nuance to an already complex character, and feels more realistic. However, even if this is what the writer or actor were trying to convey, it’s still a far worse alternative to simply keeping him out of the poly options in the first place.

1. His hedonistic playboy persona is stated to be a façade. Anything he says in act one about being poly and wanting open relationships is stated when he is both wearing his mask and before he trusts the player. Every statement about relationships here has to be taken with a grain of salt because his mask is centered around attracting victims for Cazador. Since he hated bringing “sweet innocents” to his master, it makes sense that he would initially try to attract the opposite (“criminals and brothel goers”) by sleeping around and making a show of wanting casual relationships.
   
2. Once he gets comfortable in the relationship, he makes it clear he is looking for someone who will make him feel safe and value him for his personality over his body (“I don’t want you to think of me in terms of sex. I don’t think I want anyone to.” “How do you want me to see you?” “As a person. Is that so much to ask?”). If the player chooses to sexualize him, he will go through with it, then regret it later and break up. He makes it very clear in Act two that he’s not actually looking for casual hookups because they make him feel “ashamed and alone”. So it is odd that he’s fine with Halsin (who seems to care more about the sex and the body than the emotional bonding) and the brothel (which is solely about sex). One can argue that he’s fine with the poly relationship because he’s not taking part, but Halsin DOES wish for him to take part ‘eventually’.
   
3. Jumping off of that, Astarion’s dialogue makes it clear he wants a partner who cares about more than just sex, but if you tell him you want to date Halsin solely for the sex (and because Astarion’s not doing it with you), he will say that’s fine and he doesn’t mind the player seeking sex from others. This seems to counter his previous statements and arc. It’s especially strange that even if you reinforce his greatest insecurity (that his refusal to have sex has made his partner immediately seek out other people), he will still claim to be fine with it.
   
4. In terms of dialogue, the actor for Astarion seems to be very intentional when using the fake theatrical masking voice vs. the more genuine softspoken voice he uses when he’s comfortable and being honest. The fake voice is blatantly obvious throughout the Act 1 romance, in Act 2 if you force him to obey the blood merchant (his voice goes from genuinely scared to flirtatious and over the top within seconds), and in Cazador’s mansion where he’ll speak genuinely to you, then be over the top when addressing Cazador’s servants. He’ll often use jokes and loud laughter to conceal his true feelings and insecurities. Meanwhile his laughter in the confession scene, graveyard scene, and Spawn epilogue is quiet and subdued because he’s being genuine. It feels like a strange coincidence that when addressing both the Halsin situation and the brothel situation, his voice becomes very loud and high pitched again, he immediately starts making jokes, and his laughter is over the top. This hints at him not wanting to go along with either situation, but he’s putting himself through it because this is what his partner wants and since he’s tolerated sexual stuff he hated before, he can do it again. Plus, after killing Cazador, he wants to ensure no one views him as weak. He has to prove to himself and his lover (at least in his mind) that refusing to take the Ascendant powers was good and he’s strong enough to not need it. I can understand players not picking up on the voice changes (because not everyone is going to replay the game or even care) but those who did notice it believe it’s done intentionally (either by the actor or the writer or both). If it’s not intentional, then it’s a strange decision to make from a developer’s standpoint.
   
5. Throughout the threads I read, most poly people made it clear that poly relationships require complete trust, clear communication, and general confidence. Astarion himself admits to lacking all of those traits to some degree. If you don’t romance him, he will literally not trust any of the characters right up to the epilogue (he’ll hold a knife behind his back while talking to the Dark Urge). Even though he does seem to genuinely trust his lover by Act 2, he will still lie to them several times. He lies about being fine with the drow twins (he states he’ll leave if he hates if but never does despite disassociating), feigns confidence when the player says they’ll become a mind flayer (he says he only cares about them becoming ugly but expresses his true fears only after the fight, that he’s worried they are no longer the person he fell in love with by losing their soul), he manipulates his lover when confronting Cazador despite being conflicted about it himself and wanting reassurance, and (on a more minor note) he continuously claims he’s doesn’t care about Yenna or the Gur children despite getting upset when they’re in danger. This is a character who, even after he kills his tormentor, struggles to be honest with his partner. That isn’t a good combination when addressing poly. (Again, it could be worked through in real life, but is better avoided in video games where there isn’t time to address it).
   
6. There are also plenty of situations where he agrees to do things he outright hates. In Act 1, we know he is (at least somewhat) disgusted by having sex with the player or Laezel, but he’ll do it. In Act 2, he tries to be genuine about not wanting to touch the player until he no longer feels disgust, but if the player pressures him, he will cave and obey. He does break up with the player afterwards, but it is only after he has gone through with the act. In Act 3, he will state three times that he doesn’t want to take the tadpole, but if the player pressures him by bringing up his darkest fear, he will give in. Worse, he will give in and STILL stay with the player romantically despite them clearly manipulating him to do something they know he fears. He does thankfully break up if you fail the checks, but if you succeed, he goes through with it. If he’s willing to cave to something as huge as altering his entire body, it makes sense that he would cave to something he views as more minor (like tolerating unwanted sexual acts in a brothel or sharing his partner).
   
7. I didn’t know this until I saw others mention it but there are points where he will flirt with NPCs if he is single (the girl in the sewers), but he uses neutral dialogue if he is dating the player. This reinforces the theory that he doesn’t actually plan to sleep around or be with others as he claims (though there are some dialogues that I think slipped through the cracks where he still flirts with others despite being in a committed relationship).
   
8. If Halsin propositions you after Cazador has been killed, Astarion no longer asks if you’re doing this because he hasn’t been fulfilling your sexual needs. However, he does give another response that feels out of place: “I’ve realized it doesn’t matter if anything (in our relationship) changes.” Parallel this with what he said at the graveyard, that “no matter what happens, I don’t want to lose this (relationship).” It’s very odd to have him say he doesn’t want to lose the relationship, but then the next day he is totally okay with losing it. Granted, it is nice to know that even if the characters break up, he’ll be fine, but it does feel contradictory for his character, especially with how devastated he acts if they DO end the relationship. If the Halsin statement is just an act and he’s overcompensating, however, then it feels more intentional on the writer’s part.
   
9. I’ve seen lots of people say that Ascended Astarion also shouldn’t be fine with poly, and I agree, though it’s for different reasons than Spawn Astarion. Unlike SA, I think Ascended would absolutely do the brothel scene because 1. He’s actively suppressing his trauma and playing a new character and 2. He feels in control in the brothel and is the focus. However, with Halsin, he doesn’t have any control. For someone obsessed with possessing his lover and ensuring they can never leave him, letting them sleep with Halsin doesn’t fit his writing. He isn’t participating. He doesn’t know what they’re doing behind his back. For all he knows, Halsin and the player might be discussing how to kill Astarion or escape him. In some deleted party banter, Halsin literally tells Ascended Astarion he doesn’t approve of the abusive spawn/master relationship they’ve formed. With that knowledge, not only should Halsin not be willing to join a poly relationship that he thinks is unhealthy, but he has a motivation to help the player get away from AA (and AA would know this). I could see Spawn Astarion hesitantly agreeing to the Halsin thing despite not wanting to share, but AA just wouldn’t. It feels contrary to both his and Halsin’s writing.
   
10. This is the second most convincing piece of evidence for me: The Drow twins. If you ask Astarion to join a ‘group activity’, he’ll use his fake voice and flighty laugh and agree to go through it, saying he’ll run away if he doesn’t like it and comparing the act to burning in the sun (a little concerning that he’s already comparing the two). Then during the act, he will immediately ask the player what they want “us” to do. Not only is he lumping himself in with the prostitutes, but he is also doing something that an Origin playthrough reveals is a trigger for him (he tells the drow twins that being ‘told what to do’ reminds him of his time as a slave). If the player tries to check up on him, he ignores them and says he wishes he was drunk. Then he disassociates and never brings it up again. This has been viewed two ways: either he doesn’t want to have casual sex anymore and wants to be in a one-on-one relationship, or he does want to do stuff like this but just needs to heal more before he can. I lean toward the first assumption because he is acting flighty and fake BEFORE the sexual act even begins. If he really wanted to do it but changed his mind after, it makes more sense for him to sound genuine at first, then fake halfway through.
    

But the main thing that sticks out to me is his reaction to you asking for only ONE drow twin. If you do, he will accuse you of having a thing for prostitutes and call it embarrassing, then glare at you for the rest of the conversation. This is especially sad because not only have the player’s actions made him feel like a prostitute again, but now he seems to be wondering if you started dating him BECAUSE he was a prostitute, not for who he really is.
Compare this to the Halsin situation and the drow ‘group activity’. For Halsin, he says he was expecting this for months. He’s had several months to plan his reaction and decide what he’s willing to tolerate. Hence, he has a very rehearsed reaction. With the twins, he had less time to anticipate this but probably also worried about it (especially if the player asked about them earlier and he said no. Now he expects the player to try again and has planned accordingly). Again, this response feels rehearsed and fake. The only response where he uses his real voice is when you ask for one of the twins alone. This is something he likely wouldn’t plan for, so we get to see his gut reaction for the first time: he doesn’t want you to do it.
Now some people argue that he’s fine with Halsin and not the other Origin characters because Halsin is just a fling and won’t try to take his spot. If that’s the case, he should be fine with the twins too. If anything, they are even less of a threat. Yet he doesn’t want you to do it and responds accordingly. If he truly was poly, he would respond like Karlach did and tell you to have fun, or like Shadowheart telling you to give him a heads up first. But we don’t see that.
One other thing about the twins that I felt I could point out: if you or the twins ask to do a group activity before Cazador is killed, Astarion says he’s not comfortable with this yet. The “yet” part has been pointed out to show that he’s fine with it after Cazador has been killed (even though he still disassociates later). However, another explanation of the “yet” part is that he’s trying to soften the blow because he’s scared of using a blunt NO. We see this with Araj, the blood merchant. Even though he is absolutely disgusted with her treatment of him and how she’s “defiling” him with her fantasies, his rejections of her are very soft and nervous. Even when reinforced by his friend/lover, he says “It’s still a no, I’m afraid” with a smile. Turning down sexual encounters is tough for him, even when he has people backing him up, so I can see him using words like “yet” or “I’m afraid” to soften the blow. I know several people in real life who do this, despite later admitting there was no “yet”.
There’s another part of this dialogue with the early twins that I want to point out (really overanalyzing here but if we want to believe the writers do things intentionally/with a lot of forethought, I think it’s okay to read into the words they use). When Astarion says he’s not comfortable with the twins, the player’s response is “I wouldn’t ask such a thing of you”. This will raise his approval and make him respond positively. The promise you give him is not “I’ll ask them later, after we’ve killed Cazador” or “I would have liked to but okay” (that one doesn’t trigger his positive response). He only approves of you saying you won’t ask him to do things like this (stated in a tense that implies you will NEVER ask him to do such a thing, regardless of Cazador’s stabbed or unstabbed state). This could have been the writer hinting that if you bring him back after, you’re going back on your promise and thus have to see the disassociating scene. That…or the writer wasn’t thinking too hard and we are simply thinking too much.

1. With all that out of the way, we’ll get to the final point that solidifies this theory for me personally. It’s the statements of Shadowheart and Minthara if you ask to do a three-way relationship with one of them and Astarion. Shadowheart’s response is: “I think you’re overestimating his willingness to share. He may seem like a carefree hedonist, but there’s something fragile beneath the façade.” Minthara says something nearly identical, that sharing would wound his pride and he is far too fragile to handle it. You could even add Astarion’s line from the other end, where if you ask Astarion to share with you and Karlach, he will say they shouldn’t because Karlach loves the player and relationships are fragile (implying that he either thinks open relationships don’t work if there’s love involved, or perhaps he himself can only do open relationships if he doesn’t love the other person).

The main argument I’ve seen disproving these statements by Shadowheart and Minthara is that they’re just plain wrong about him. If so, it’s a strange writing choice to not only have both of them be wrong about the exact same thing, but they’re both high wisdom characters who are proven to understand Astarion in a lot of ways other characters don’t. (All three of them have been enslaved and manipulated, Minthara comprehends the depths of his relationship with Cazador within minutes of being in the camp, and Shadowheart is one of the closest to Astarion in terms of friendship and liking him.)
If Astarion actually is fine with poly, then it means both Shadowheart and Minthara are wrong. That means the writers either made a mistake or made a very weird writing choice.
However, if Astarion is actually pretending to be fine with sharing as they say, not only is the writing consistent but these dialogues become very clever foreshadowing. I want to give the writers the benefit of the doubt and believe they did a good job with Astarion, so I prefer to lean into the theory that he’s pretending because it makes more sense for him overall.
That was quite a long tangent and somewhat unnecessary, but he’s a character whose mannerisms and statements are meant to be heavily analyzed, so it’s fun to go more in depth. Let’s move on.

1. ISSUES WITH HOW HALSIN WAS PRESENTED

We’re finally at the last point, and in a way the direct cause of this entire thread: Halsin. Now, I have no issue with Halsin being poly (again, he’s listed as one of my four ideal options for it) but I do have several issues with how he was written and presented. The Shadowheart part I will skip over because I already got into it, but there are many other problems to address and most of them could have been fixed very easily.

1. He is not presented as poly until Act 3. I was reading through a thread full of people who loved him and several of them were early access players who had requested he become a romance option. However, the reason they requested him was very important. In EA, all three of the male options seemed immature (Wyll), condescending (Gale), or straight up evil (Astarion). Meanwhile Halsin was, in their words, a mature man who seems like the type to settle down with them in a cottage and help raise their kids. This is the impression he gives and what drew many people to him. As a result, many of these players were extremely disappointed to reach Act 3 once the game was out and discover that not only was he the complete opposite of their initial impression, but he won’t even stay with the player after the game ends (in most cases). Honestly, if I was a developer and saw that they liked him for those earlier reasons, I wouldn’t make him strictly poly because that wasn’t what the players wanted. They wanted him because he was muscular and a good, stable man. It was a very odd choice to turn around and give the players the opposite of what they asked for. But if the devs were truly determined to go the poly route, they should have at least gone back to Act 1 and 2 and slipped in some hints that he was poly. I saw some newer players who recently played the game for the first time and wanted to romance him for the aforementioned reasons (stable, mature, kind, huge). They ignored all other romances until Act 3, then got hit with the “I’m only poly” discussion. Had they known he wasn’t monogamous, they wouldn’t have blown off all the other options.
   
2. But let’s ignore that. We’re focusing on the world where he IS completely poly (though some were arguing that it should at least be an option to ask if he’ll try being monogamous with the player.) The way he is presented still has a lot of issues according to poly players. For one, the way he tries to butt in on the relationship is done in a really sketchy manner (especially considering what some of the Origin characters have gone through/are currently going through). It would have been far better to do what they did with Minsc and give the PLAYER the option to hit on Halsin, rather than the other way around. Have them offer poly to him, and then he can discuss it from there. Having the proposition come from Halsin himself puts him in a negative light, and it’s pretty clear the writers didn’t actually want to portray him as a bad person so they messed up here.
   
3. The flagging for Halsin’s dialogues is awful and despite seeing people report it for eight months, that hasn’t changed. Even if you pick the most neutral option, he will still hit on you by saying “I think you feel the same way”. Not a good idea. “I HOPE you feel the same way” would have been infinitely better. Women often have to deal with people assuming their friendly, professional conversation is something more when it isn’t. It’s not a great idea to bring that into fantasy games too. It hit too close to home for some.
   
4. Even if you use the most neutral option at the Act 1 party (“Go have fun and mingle”), your main dialogue option the next day is “Sorry for coming on so strong last night”. It’s a strange thing to say. Again, I’m not sure how developers missed this and why it was never patched out. I saw people reporting it since the release.
   
5. He will also ask for a relationship at neutral approval. In most of my playthroughs, I stopped talking to him beyond the Thaniel quest and avoided asking about his personal life. He still led his proposition with “I think you feel the same way”. How does he know when we only spoke to him three times? They should have at least required you to go through all his extra dialogues before triggering this.
   
6. When Halsin says he loves you, you have two options: reject him straight away, or ask about his opinions a little more. Oddly enough, if you ask a bit more and THEN reject him, he’ll have a proper response. “That’s fine. I understand. I won’t ask again.” However, if you reject him as soon as he starts talking to you, his response is very off putting. He’ll protest and say, “but you asked me about my former lovers” or, if you didn’t even do that, he’ll claim “you looked after me with the care of a lover, not a host.” These pushy assumptions turned a lot of people off. This is entirely on the writer, in my opinion. He should have realized how weird these sounded.
   
7. Halsin is the only person you can’t dismiss from your camp at any point through dialogue. All of the origins have to be pursued and recruited intentionally. Halsin is the only exception. This makes some sense because you need him to cure the Shadowlands, but for Act 3, he literally has nothing to do. They should have given players an option after the Ketheric fight to dismiss him and tell him to take care of the Shadowlands. It makes a lot more sense narratively and would help avoid a lot of the more awkward parts later.
   
8. Halsin’s initial dialogue about monogamy vs. polyamory is mostly fine, with him comparing it to gardens and wolves vs. bears. But (and don’t quote me on this because I can’t recall the specifics), if you ask your partner to do poly and they say no, Halsin will be a little more judgmental about your partner, saying he was hoping they would be more “open minded”. Statistically, the majority of BG3’s players are going to be monogamous, so it’s strange to see nearly every character (monogamous or poly) criticize monogamy in some way. It is called selfish, narrow minded, and old fashioned by at least 3 characters to my knowledge (Halsin, Act 1 Astarion, and even Gale (who is monogamous himself)). If the developers truly wanted to be inclusive, criticizing one’s lifestyle and having no characters openly defend it in the game (even those who practice it) is a disappointing choice. In this case, it might be an unintentional mistake (maybe they feared that by defending monogamy, they were somehow demonizing polygamy or polyamory), but it would have been better to just leave the criticisms out of it entirely if that was the case.
   

And that’s it. I think that’s all the points from myself and others that I wanted to compile. I don’t think any of this will be changed in BG3 but I hope all of these points and opinions will at least improve any future games. It’s great that BG3 was able to make nuanced characters with their own opinions and preferences—I much prefer it to “everyone is poly and no one gets mad if you cheat” games where characters feel more like statues than living beings—but I do wish they thought the poly options through more carefully (trying to make poly people comfortable while leaving room for monogamous players to enjoy the romances too).
The only feasible fix the developers could make at this point to avoid all the issues mentioned is keeping Halsin poly but removing his connections to other Origin romances (or at least Karlach and Astarion). At this point, that’s the only thing that could realistically be done. I also wish they made characters break up with you if you cheat on them in the brothel, since that’s what many people including myself would do.
Again, these opinions are my own (and those that aren’t come from a variety of comments across Youtube, Reddit, and Larian’s forums). I enjoyed getting to see so many different viewpoints and appreciated how civil (most of) the people on both sides were. It’s an interesting topic and here’s hoping game studios handle it better in the future.
If anyone reads this far and wants links to the threads, forums, and youtube comment sections, let me know.

Not really "helping" in the conventional sense vut do you guys also get this urge to use a skill you know is in demand the moment a situation for it comes up? It's not really in everything I have a skill for but sometimes when things I do for a hobby are valued by another person and it's like my immediate reaction to them needing that help is to give over my services and sometimes its nice but I've learned to stop responding to it because it feels like mostly out of guilt nowadays.
An example would be when I was younger and I, unlike the adults around me atvthe time, could juggle many different sporadic ideas in my head and get them done in quick succession. It was fun racing myself so during family parties sometimes if I noticed things where going wrong then I'd offer service and be pretty happy when I was given it. Over time however whenever I wanted to tell myself "no" because something else was more important I'd feel what I've now come to realize was an overwhelming sense of guilt and shame.
Now that may seem like an isolated incident or perhaps one brought on by familiar peer pressure but it wasn't, it was my own brains assertion that I was willingly neglecting others. Another example
A few years ago I use to play magic the gathering, it's a card game played normally at local game/card stores. I use to play their for fun during the time of free ay when their where dozens of people between each table to play with. Now because this particular branch of magic was a group fighting setting I'd normally look for those I thought looked the most in need or the most serious because that's just how I liked my games back then. Serious with a hint of silly. Over time I developed friendships and out kf those friendships they would often try to encourage me to play with them before I could look at what other people had going on. Honestly it didn't matter to me so long as I liked them and if I didn't as a player I'd just say no and be cool but sometimes when I did agree I'd see others having a hard time at their respective tables and think "man those people look sad" the urge to play with them out of a sense of, well I suppose pitty, was pretty overwhelming at times. Not because I was looking for these people but because I could catch glimpses of hurtful conversations they where having with other people where the other tables would be unnecessary rude due to their consistent pestering. I dont think their aggression was unwarranted per say but the thought that the person felt trapped while I had the key just made me feel... uncomfortable.
I never think others have to help but I find that my mother (ENFJ) instilled a strong code of ethics in me for the few years she was alive and seeing people hurting when I can help sometimes in odd situations really wrenches me to do things that would have otherwise not been optimal for myself.
Other like minded examples would be~
A few issues I had with my wife about cleaning, she has depression and ADHD so sometimes she'd fall into a "sit pit" of sorts and the recurring thought of needing to get up would play from her mouth so often that after the like the third time I'd just do the act in question she needed to do even if it was to my determent simply because it stressed me out. I couldn't justify not moving even when it was for something important unless I had a personal tie to that thing.
Recently while looking for Roleplays to participate in I felt another overwhelming feeling of guilt knowing some people where looking for my skill set and I wasn't interested in theirs for my own personal reasons. The fact I didn't try made me a bit upset.
My wife's family memeber use to always be in need of something and I'd feel a personal duty to respond and help because it made my wife sad that we weren't doing that until she started abusing said help.
And I'm sure their are more but I was curious if guilt plays on you guys in a similar way? All these matters and many more are already resolved for me, all the talks that needed to happen have happened and whenever I get the urge I remind myself that it isn't my responsibility to manage the way others feel just because I can. That losing out on these "opportunities" doesn't hurt me and I can simply look and offer when I'm ready and stop when I'm not.

Hey everyone,
I could really use the advice of the sysadmin community on the next steps for hiring someone to help clean up an IT environment that is the result of multiple decades of organic growth and management by the same solo IT person, a person whose IT knowledge and curiosity peaked a long time ago.
Anyway, my situation is as follows. I was originally going to write an even longer history of our IT situation, and would be happy too if people are interested, but here is the gist of my situation. I'm sorry if anything is a bit disjointed, but I'm trying to refrain from writing a case study.
I have worked for the last 15 years at my family's business, and Harry has been managing our IT for the last 40 years. Harry was one of my father's first employees, had gone to school for music-related majors, took a non-IT job at a new manufacturing and retail company, then became our IT person as we developed IT needs.
Fast forward after a few decades of organic IT growth with Harry reporting to our prior CFO for the last 20 years (a CFO who was territorial, unpleasant to work with, and terrible with technology), and the state of our current IT environment is bad. I believe that is mainly due to a horrible combination of Harry not doing a great job at anything IT-related, and being our sole IT person, and having a tech-illiterate CFO managing Harry. Our CFO would also occasionally find small-time/hacky consultants to work with, but never wanted to listen to my input. After a few years of being at the company, I suggested we needed a ticketing system, but our CFO wanted to keep managing projects using a Lotus 1-2-3 spreadsheet...
After our CFO retired, we brought in a new CFO, and she came with a referral to an MSP her husband had used at the company he was at. That company had sold to a larger holding company since the CFO's husband started using the MSP, one that seemed to mess around in the crypto space, and I thought the lead was bad (based on a variety of things I saw). Over the last 15 years, a large part of my job has been doing due diligence on vendors, software solutions, web developers, and various agencies. Regardless, we spent a few months doing due diligence and a paid audit with that MSP. By the end of the audit, we decided not to move forward with that MSP.
In addition, our company decided Harry should start reporting to me rather than our new CFO. I have 15 years of experience at the company overseeing all of our internet properties, digital marketing, and was kind of a third wheel of the IT department when I first started at the company. I went to undergrad for Management Information Systems, have a graduate business degree, and basically consider myself an IT person who isn't pursuing an IT career. I know our internal companies well, what our users do and don't need, and understand the costs and opportunity costs to bringing (or not bringing) in new systems and technology.
I have also been tinkering with computers and technology for almost three decades. I build my own computers, built my own NAS running Unraid, run updates on our VMware-based servers, can read and modify code, wired my own home with CAT 6, had a brief stint as a Sharepoint developer, moved 100+ employees from our original POP3 email system to Google Workspace (when I started at the company), set up a UniFi-based dedicated WiFi and surveillance network, specced out and racked our new Dell servers, and have helped replace and migrate dozens of our users off of old Windows 7 machines. I also have personally undertaken onboarding our endpoints in NinjaOne, installing Defender for Endpoint, and bringing our various Fortigate firewalls up to date. My point here is that while I am not a Sysadmin myself (and definitely am not suggesting I'm an expert at ANY of those things), and definitely don't have depth when it comes to Active Directory, Azure, etc., I am a bit of a jack of all trades IT person, and am very well-suited to work with a real Sysadmin. For almost everything I do, I either find what the best practice is, know that I or we aren't meeting best practices, or will happily let our team/company know when I can't expertly speak to something.
With that backstory out of the way, here are a few extra points:

1. Harry basically works half the week, has health issues, wants to retire in a year or two, and I can't count on him to come up with any new or current solutions. Harry has been loyal to the company, and I consider him a friend, and there is still work and value he can add until he is ready to retire. That said, he is our "IT Director", but whoever we hire will not be reporting to Harry. I will figure out the structural and human/social aspects of not having our new hire feel bad having to comment on things Harry has or hasn't done, as well as figuring out work Harry can do a good job on that won't create extra work. I expect I would probably have Harry do work on the legacy ERP system he has helped support, which is something I don't expect our new hire to have much to do with.
2. There will probably be some people out there who feel there has been mismanagement, that Harry sounds incompetent, that we were understaffed, or that the ex-CFO did a bad job, etc. Most of that is probably true, but that is the past. As someone who generally knows a fair amount about IT, I HAVE known that our IT situation isn't great, but as I said, the situation is complicated.
3. Our current IT environment is a bit of a mess. We are just now finishing up replacing remaining Windows 7 machines, have a brand new ESXi cluster (set up pre-Broadcom acquisition) but have to set up a few new virtual machines to replace Server 2012 R2 (or worse) virtual machines, have to remove local admin privileges from almost all of our users (this is decades in the making), and have loads of best practices and management systems I'd like to see us have in place. There are way more projects than just this, but this is just a sampling. Outside of lots of overdue overhaul, I don't think we have a tremendous amount of break/fix at the company.
4. I am so understaffed right now with my original responsibilities at the company, basically being our main new IT person, and trying to plan for our next major ERP systems. I don't have enough hours in the day and am killing myself emotionally. I need to hire someone full-time, but I need advice on if that job title should be a Sysadmin, and how I should go about presenting this opportunity. I am NOT expecting whoever we hire to be an expert in everything, which is a common complaint I've seen in sysadmin. I would like to strategically hire partners (or continue to work with a person or two we already work with) when it comes to things like firewall expertise. Our new hire would work directly with me to start overhauling our IT systems as needed. I have no expectations someone can come in and clean everything up in weeks or months, but I'd like to find someone talented who will seek out right-sized, best-practice-based solutions and systems, and work with me to transform an IT environment that was basically built under one person's watch. When hiring for the position, I'd like to be upfront that there is initially going to be a lot of project work required.
5. I have been looking through sysadmin for probably the last two years, and I often seem complaints about management not getting IT, managers being too frugal, etc. While our IT situation is messier than I would like to bring someone into, I feel confident I can give whoever we hire a collegial, bureaucracy-free environment. I am practical, am great at knowing what I do and don't know, understand project management (I'm used to working on year-long projects), and am very familiar with the common joke about "anything that plugs into the wall being IT". While the job I'm looking to hire for won't be turn-key, my goal and plan is to hire someone who won't be expected to know everything or work all the time, and that as we continue to improve our systems, that it won't need to be a rigorous IT job. I am planning to work closely with whoever we hire, will help cover any non-business-hours issues, etc. I love the idea of someone smart coming in, helping whip things into shape, and developing the job into a cushy one. I am willing to pay for someone talented, and one of my highest priorities will be to provide a great work environment.
6. In my original post, I mentioned that our IT situation has been complicated. By that I mean Harry transitioning into an IT role decades ago, bad management–especially by our prior CFO, a lack of awareness on how bad the IT situation was–from Harry himself, as well as management. There are lots of reasons our IT situation is what it is, but intentional understaffing to save money wasn't one of them.

Finally, after all the points above, I would appreciate any constructive advice on who/what job title to hire for, what I should be looking for, etc. Do I look for five or seven plus years of experience? I want someone who has enough experience that he/she at least knows about deploying software using AD and Group Policy, making sure our fleet of machines is up-to-date using Microsoft-provided or paid tools available, etc.
Whenever I read through posts and replies on this subreddit, I see people who provide good answers (or who are smart enough to come to this subreddit to seek advice), and I think to myself how I'd like to work with someone like that. I don't know if that seems weird or like a low bar, but right now I'm used to working with Harry, and he definitely doesn't know about this Subreddit, struggles to use Google Meet, isn't big into 2FA.
Thanks to anyone who read all of this, and to anyone who posts any tips or advice!

When I came out 4.5 months ago upper management and HR told me they were happy for me, and they had my back. The first thing they did was make the executive washrooms which are single occupancy bathrooms into gender neutral bathrooms. Yay! privacy, and I don't have to worry about making anyone uncomfortable. I was then promoted a couple of months later because I had become a much happier and productive team member. The head of HR even said he really thought I had found myself as Kim, and he was really happy to see it. This dude has watched me struggle with mental health issues for over a decade. He is actually really happy for me. Then a coworker started being creepy with me. I finally said something to HR. They did an investigation, and it turns out I'm not the only one. He was being creepy with some of the CIS women as well. They fired him, and thanked me for brining this to their attention. Friday I mentioned that I had bought a bunch of LBGTQ+ pride buttons I was going to leave in the break room for people on the anniversary of the Stonewall raid, and the start of the riots. Today I was told they were going to bring up maybe doing something official at the next engagement meeting with management. When I first started there over a decade ago there were 2 openly queer people there. Now there are quite a few of us. Today my enby friend at work and I both wore "Oh Deer I'm Queer" shirts. Theirs had a deer in enby colors and mine had 2 deer and trans colored hearts (we planned it). We had people coming up to us to get pictures with us. I'd post one, but we don't want our faces online. We even made everyone who took a pic promise they wouldn't post it anyplace.
It's like I found an island of accepting people in a deeply red state. My work place isn't small either. We have around 300 people there. It seems we do have a good culture there. I was afraid I would have to quit after coming out. Instead I feel more accepted than I ever have there.

I currently work at a national non-profit and was promoted to a director level position last Fall. I've been with the org for nearly 2.5 years now and love the work and our team. During my promotion process, I was thinking long term about my career and what my ideal next position would be whenever I decided it was time to leave my current role.
I recently stumbled across a position that is directly in line with what I envisioned for myself as a next step in my career - it's pretty much 100% what I dream of doing after my current role. However, I am slightly hesitant to apply for it, given a few factors:

• I've only been in this promoted position for 6 months and I wasn't necessarily looking for a new job.
• I work for a small org (5 staff total) and our CEO is already leaving later this year, so a part of me feels like it's a bad time to leave. I also hired someone to take my old position and they only started in January of 2024.
  • Also, since our org is so small and my direct report is so new, a lot is falling on my plate this year, especially given my boss' upcoming departure.
• I feel like I still have time to make my mark on the org in this new position, but I honestly don't think that the new job I am considering will be available for a while. I don't live in a city where roles like this at larger sized firms are readily available, as it is very niche. If I wanted to find similar roles in the future, it might require me to move to NYC or Chicago or somewhere similar, but I'd prefer to stay where I am (in the DMV area).
• The new job would pay much more than my current role does, and there isn't a possibility for me to negotiate a higher salary to try and match that should I use it as leverage to stay with my current org.

TL;DR: Do I apply for my "dream" next job even though I am relatively new in my promoted position?
(posting from a throwaway account)

Hey everyone! I thought I'd repost this on my new profile (previously u/-Legal-Eagle-) for your reference before it is removed from my old profile. Also, if you find my advice useful, please check out my profile for more advice or tutoring services. Feel free to comment or DM me if you need anything.
With my LSAT and law school admissions journey complete, I wanted to take the time to share my journey and hopefully provide some useful tips along the way. I'm sure you will have heard a lot of what I am about to say a thousand times over, but I thought it might be useful to provide a holistic and comprehensive guide that attempts to bring together some of the best advice that I have picked up throughout this process.
Also, this is meant for anyone and everyone including those who haven't even began to think about the LSAT and those with multiple official exams already under their belt. I am going to use some more specific LSAT jargon meant for those with some familiarity with the test, but there will be many general tips for everyone scattered throughout.
I would like to preface by saying that this is largely based on my own personal experience self-studying, tutoring, and working with others. Please consult with many different sources and do your due diligence as you consider each tip I provide. Without further ado, here is my humble attempt at a guide to the LSAT.
When I first began the LSAT grind, I scored in the low 150s on my diagnostic exam, and while this was disheartening at first, I eventually achieved an official exam score of 174 after approximately 5 months of studying. Since I self-studied for the large majority of my journey, I found myself running into various obstacles and having to continuously refine my roadmap to success. Rather than go through the same process of trial and error that I went through, here is the roadmap outline that I would follow if I were to start all over again from blind diagnostic to test day success:
1. Start with a BLIND Diagnostic Exam:
While this might seem quite obvious to the more experienced of you, many beginners, including myself at the start of this process, do not know where to begin and might be stuck in a paradox of choice. The best way to get started is to take a completely blind practice exam. Try not to expose yourself to any LSAT study materials beforehand and go into the diagnostic exam knowing as little about the exam as possible. You might be tempted to study beforehand to avoid the disappointment of a low diagnostic score, but you must resist this temptation to avoid any misguided preconceptions or bad habits. Through this diagnostic, you will be able to truly identify your foundational strengths and weaknesses which you could and should revisit throughout your studying journey.
2. Decide on your plan of attack:
A mistake that many beginners make after deciding to take the LSAT is jumping into studying without having a structured and thoughtful plan, leading to inefficiencies, lack of focus, and inconsistency. One of the most important factors of success on this exam is the formation of good habits, and you cannot form good habits without a consistent, efficient, and disciplined study plan. There is no one size fits all approach to studying for this exam. However, here are some questions you should ask yourself to find the right plan for you:
What is your goal score? Your answer to this question depends on your long-term goals. Research which law schools would be most suitable for you based on their location, employment data, faculty, administration, student groups, journals, etc. After you put together a tentative list of law schools, look up what their median GPA and median LSAT is for their most recent enrolled class. If your undergraduate GPA (and law schools mainly care about your undergraduate GPA, so do not include any further education) is below their median GPA, then you should probably aim to surpass their median LSAT by at least a few points. However, if your undergraduate GPA is at or above their median GPA, then you should still aim to surpass their median LSAT, but you will still be in a strong position if you score at their median LSAT. After this research, you should have a goal score range by which you can gauge your progress and adjust your studying.
What is your timeline for taking the exam? Setting a timeline for your studying is important to staying focused and disciplined. Decide on which official exam you will be sitting for and then make a study schedule that allows for at least 150-300 hours of studying leading up to the exam. For example, if you are planning to take the August exam, you have approximately 13 weeks to study. Hence, you should dedicate yourself to studying 15-25 hours per week until the exam. Of course, the number of total hours you study depends on your diagnostic score and your goal score, as well as how quickly you progress while studying. If you find that halfway through your study schedule, your score has not substantially improved or you still have to make significant progress to reach your goal score, you may decide to ramp up your study time to 30 hours per week. The most important step here is that you commit to consistent study time, and that you remain flexible as you gauge your progress throughout the journey.
What learning styles/mediums work best for you? This is a matter of both preference and accessibility. Not all learning resources are equally available to everyone. However, many learning programs and materials are becoming increasingly affordable, giving everyone at least some choice in their method of study. Most importantly, you should do research into what your options are and weigh them accordingly. There are a variety of LSAT books available both new and used including but not limited to the LSAT Trainer, the Loophole, and the PowerScore Bibles. Of course, using a book requires a higher degree of discipline and self-accountability. On the other hand, there are a variety of online programs as well which provide a similarly structured curriculum and will even integrate your personal study schedule such as 7Sage and the LSAT Demon. You may even be able to find a relatively inexpensive tutor through Reddit or Wyzant if you require a bit more external accountability or a more personalized approach.
Lastly, what study methods are most effective for you? Everyone should incorporate a mix of foundational concepts, drilling, and practice in their studying, but it's important to recognize which method is most effective for you. Perhaps you find taking PTs (practice tests) garner the greatest score increases. Hence, you should dedicate more study time to taking PTs. Throughout your journey, you should constantly be aware of which study methods are most effective and adjust accordingly.
Once you have definitively answered these questions, you will have prepared yourself to optimize your study time and decrease your exam anxiety. Those preparing for the LSAT might be overwhelmed by the sheer amount of content and their limited timeline, but, by crafting a practical and efficient study plan, you won’t be inundated with content and will be assured that you are making the best use of your time.
3. Learn the Material:
Now that you’ve set yourself up for success, it’s time to actually sit down and do the work. In the following, I’ll outline some of what I found to be the most important strategies and concepts for each section of the exam:
Logical Reasoning:
Logical Reasoning is the core of the LSAT. The lessons learned from this section are essential throughout the exam and need to be learned inside and out. To succeed in this section, you need to learn the language of the test makers, argumentation. Every question contains an argument, and you need to be able to translate those arguments by learning to identify their building blocks: background information, premises, sub-conclusions, and conclusions. Once you’re fluent in argumentation, every stimulus becomes substantially easier to simplify and understand. Second, your argumentation toolbox is not complete without the ability to identify flaws in argumentation. A large proportion of the arguments put forward in LR questions are not foolproof, in fact, some of them are really bad. Additionally, these arguments are only flawed in a limited number of ways, and you need to be able to identify each of the fallacies that the test makers have at their disposal such as ad hominem, causation, and circular reasoning flaws. The ability to identify these flaws will allow you to answer the majority of questions on the exam since, by knowing the flaw, you will be better able to attack it, resolve it, or point it out. Last, but not least, know your question types. There are only a limited number of question types that the test makers will put forward and you can easily look up what these question types are. For each question type, you should have a unique approach and understand what reoccurring signals to look for in the stimulus and answer choices. While I won’t repeat this for the other sections, this is true of every section.
Reading Comprehension:
You will hear from many people that reading comprehension is the hardest section to learn, and this is true in some sense. Success in this section relies on skills that are developed throughout one’s education. However, there are many strategies that can boost your performance and bolster your skills. Developing a reliable shorthand/note-taking system is a priority when learning this section. A shorthand system can reduce the time you spend on questions and also allow you to better retain crucial details. Your system depends on your preferences, strengths, and weaknesses, and discovering your approach will require some trial and error as you test different note-taking strategies. For me, I would write a very short (4-5 words) summary of each paragraph as I finished reading it. I would also utilize the LSAC interface’s highlighters to color code different components of the passage’s argument (e.g., orange = conclusion/main idea). This system was designed in order for me to easily distill the most important aspects of the passage and allow me to easily reference the text for smaller details. There’s no way of getting around this next obstacle though and it has to be faced head on: your reading speed. Reading comprehension requires a balance between reading speed and information retention (i.e., the faster you read, the less information you retain and vice versa). However, if you can increase the speed at which you read without sacrificing any information, there is no downside. That is why I’d recommend reading non-LSAT material in your free time through magazines, novels, and newspapers. Of course, this will help you to both increase your reading speed and your reading stamina. Lastly, this next tip that I utilized during every reading comprehension section I took is more focused on your mindset when approaching the section. No matter what the substance of the article, convince yourself mentally that you are incredibly interested in the subject matter. It may be difficult to trick yourself into enjoying some of the drier topics, but simply telling myself that I wanted to know more about the subject and actively asking questions about the material led to increased focus and closer analysis.
Logic Games:
If you are registered for the June LSAT, then this especially applies to you. If you are planning to take the exam at a later date, you will not have a logic games section, but you should still read the following. These skills as well as previously mentioned skills/tips apply across the entire exam and do not exclusively apply to any one section. First, master formal logic. Your mastery over the rules of formal logic and your ability to apply them is the difference between -5 and -0 on logic games. When I say master, I mean that if someone were to wake you up in the middle of the night and ask you to identify the necessary and sufficient condition in ,”I will not go outside unless it is sunny”, you should be able to answer in under five seconds. This will allow you to easily unravel and represent convoluted language in a significantly more understandable and digestible way. Along with this, develop a foolproof diagramming method that does not consume too much time but also is easily understood in a high-pressure environment. Before I had perfected my diagramming, I would often represent rules, game boards, and pieces in a confusing manner which led to me forgetting about certain aspects of the game or misapplying a rule. Your game diagrams should be compact and excessively clear in what they represent. Logic games are already difficult as is so do not make it more difficult by making a confusing diagram. Last but not least, make deductions. I have heard that some people choose to make deductions as they work through the questions, but I found it much easier to make as many deductions as possible before jumping into the questions. At first, I struggled to uncover key inferences which led to wasted time and wrong answers. However, after diagramming a game, I began to move through each rule one by one, and examined how each interacts with the game board as well as every other rule. Another rule of thumb for making inferences is identifying rules in which a game piece repeats (e.g., “A is before B” and “B is before C” both include B) and seeing if you can uncover any resulting conclusions.
These tips are in no way exhaustive, but I hope that they provided a good overview to guide your studying and help you make incremental improvements.
Step 3: PRACTICE
Now that you have learned all of the fundamentals of each section, it’s time to put them to use. After all, learning all of this material is pointless if you can’t apply it on test day. Practice is an essential component of your test preparation for two primary reasons. First, it allows you to develop a standardized routine. When I say routine, I mean every logistical/strategic aspect of the exam including but not limited to your pre-exam preparation, your logic games diagramming method, your reading comprehension note-taking/shorthand method, time management strategies, and more. You should have deliberated upon, tested, and habituated each of these routines prior to your official exam by implementing them during PTs under test-day conditions. The LSAT is already a very stressful exam so you do not want to waste the precious time you have on exam day thinking about how you should annotate a reading comprehension passage, for example, and tinkering with different strategies. No, your strategies should already be tried and true on exam day. Second, if you never practice taking the exam, you will never know where you need to improve. Taking PTs are incredibly important as they allow you to evaluate your progress and signal which concepts, sections, or questions you need to work on or revisit.
Now, how should you practice? There’s no getting around it. You need to take practice exams under simulated official exam conditions. Set a timer for each section, take the required break between sections, and only use the equipment that will be allowed on test day (i.e., authorized computer, water, scrap paper, writing utensils, etc.). This is the only way for you to estimate how you will perform on test day and accustom yourself to the conditions of the official exam. I completed approximately 2-3 practice exams every week leading up to my official exams. It is even better if you save the more recent practice exams for the week or two before your official exam since those are going to be most similar to your exam. However, it is important that you do not just mindlessly take practice exams which leads me to my next point: blind review.
I know, I know, blind review is extremely time consuming and tedious, but it was essential to my success on this exam. If you do not know what blind review is, it is basically when you do not reveal the correct answers of a practice exam after you have completed it, but instead complete the exam over again by checking and revising your answers. At the end of this process, you will have two scores: your actual score and your blind review score. The main reason for this is that you will now be able to see more clearly where your weaknesses lie. If you corrected a previously incorrect answer during blind review, then you likely got it wrong due to the time constraint or testing anxiety rather than a fundamental misunderstanding of the question. If you failed to catch an incorrect answer during blind review, you need to make it your priority to fully understand your error, analyze the question, and then revisit the concept that the question covers.
Once your weaknesses are exposed during blind review, you can target those weaknesses by reviewing the conceptual material and then drilling the question/game/passage type. If you do not know what I mean by drilling, I mean that you can create and complete custom problem sets that focus on your weakness until you have addressed the weakness.
Step 4: Profit
Now it is time to take your official exam. First, you have to register for the exam and decide on whether you will take it in-person or online. There are benefits and drawbacks to each and you have to decide based on your personal circumstances. For the online format, you are going to need a very quiet room with a strong internet connection. You will need to remove all prohibited material from this room including books, posters, electronics, etc. Additionally, the online proctoring system can be quite a hassle and very finicky. It requires you to download a program prior to test day and then share your screen, video, and audio with a remote proctor. Proctors may interrupt your exam due to compliance issues (e.g., your face is not in full view). Additionally, there is a small but nonzero chance that your exam is placed under review due to suspected noncompliant activity during your exam period and possibly even canceled as a result of said review. However, there are obvious benefits to online testing. You can take the exam in the comfort of your own home if that is an option for you, and you generally have much more control over your environment. You take the exam on a computer of your choice that you are comfortable with. You use your own scrap paper and writing utensils. For the in-person format, there is little to no preparation required beforehand except for scheduling an appointment at a nearby test center and bringing a valid ID. You will be ushered into an office-like room filled with a number of small cubicles. In each cubicle, there will be a desktop with a monitor, mechanical keyboard, and mouse. There will be a pair of noise-canceling headphones, and you will also be given a booklet of scrap paper and writing utensils. A very compelling benefit of the in-person exam is that your exam is much less likely to be placed under review/canceled for suspicious activity. Your test session isn’t recorded and you do not have to connect with a remote proctor. You will not have to worry about the internet connection or whether or not your test-taking equipment is prohibited or not. Basically all you have to do is show up and take the exam. However, there are definitely drawbacks to the in-person exam as well. You will be in a new environment that you are unfamiliar with. There will be the noise of the other test takers in the room with you typing on keyboards, clicking their mouse, coughing, sneezing, leaving/entering the room, etc. There are definitely inconsistencies between the testing centers as well. Some minor, but noticeable issues that I experienced during my in-person exam included audible conversations coming from outside of the room, dark orange scrap paper on which I could barely see pencil marks, dull/broken pencils provided by the testing center, and barely functional noise-canceling headphones. Do not expect the testing centers to be a perfect, controlled environment and anticipate issues/annoyances.
Once you’ve registered and exam day has arrived, it's time to do exactly what you practiced. I would not recommend that you make any last-minute changes to your testing routine/strategies. You have put so much work into perfecting your routine, and it would be a shame to throw that away when it really matters. After about 3 hours, you’ll have officially taken the LSAT. Congratulations! Now, it is a waiting game. Despite the exam taking place on a digital platform and being graded instantly, you will still have to wait about a month to receive your results. It is up to you whether you would like to continue studying during this wait depending on how you felt about your exam performance although I would keep any studying very light. Enjoy your well-deserved break.
Step 5: Score Release
You’ve now waited for what feels like forever and you receive the score for your first official exam. If you reached your goal score, congratulations! You have now finished a crucial component of the law school admissions process. You’re not done yet though. It’s time to start thinking about putting together your law school applications (which I may write another guide about soon). If you did not reach your goal score, don’t worry! Appreciate the fact that you are now more familiar with the official exam process and jump right back into studying/practicing again. If you were very close to your goal score, then I would recommend registering for the soonest upcoming exam and focusing on practicing through drills and PTs. If you were quite far away from your goal score, it might be worth evaluating your weakest sections/question types and jumping back into foundational concepts. Whatever you do, DO NOT cancel your first official exam. First, law schools only really care about your highest exam score, so do better on the next one and this one won’t hurt you. Second, you need to have at least one non-canceled score in order to even apply to law school. Let’s say you cancel your first test and then do even worse on your second test, then what? I would only recommend canceling a score if it is not your first exam (and you did not cancel your first exam) and it is lower than one of your other scores (e.g., you scored a 165 on your first exam and then a 162 on your second).
The End!
I know that was a lot. I could probably think of more to write, but you are probably already overwhelmed with information so I’ll leave the rest to you. I want to reiterate that these are all tips that I’ve picked up over my studying journey and I cannot guarantee a score increase based solely on these tips. After all, the most important thing is that you put in the work yourself and do your own due diligence to find what works best for you. If you have read everything up until now, you may be certifiably insane (the mark of a great law student) and thank you so much for considering what I have had to say. Remember that this is just a small part of your journey. Your LSAT score is not only just a single part of your law school applications, but it is an even smaller part of your career in the legal profession. I am not diminishing the importance of the exam, but please maintain a sensible perspective when you are feeling stressed and anxious about the LSAT. Make sure that you maintain a healthy work-life balance, keep pursuing hobbies and interests that you enjoy, and give yourself a break every once in a while. Your mindset and mental health is half the battle. See you in law school!