"Alpha Kappa Omega; Ang simula at wakas ay kapatiran"
To the naked eye and perception of the viewer, this film entails the life of a collegiate accepting the challenge of becoming a fratman along with going through the rigors of a frat’s initiation.
It is only different when the viewer is someone who posseses an open mind. It details how a totalitarianism rule takes place, even in a small scale organization such as a fraternity. The neophytes are tasked to follow orders without second thought and without asking why. Blind subordination is the concept they are to apply.
During the phases of their initiation, the neophytes are subject to extreme hazing, and actions that deprive them of dignity as human beings, ungguyan and gulpihan as it is called in the film. As stated by their master,
Walang ungguyan o gulpihan na hindi napaguusapan.
Meaning that it is justified within the fraternity. As the strong-willed neophytes proceed on their journey, they are tested.
Their first taste of ungguyan was to streak the city only in their underwear.
Pacoy, a virgin, is coerced to have sex. And to also have his food played with by his masters, and being confided that he was being recorded while doing the act when it fact it shouldn’t be beknownst to him.
When Ronnie decided to quit, he was subject to electrical torture and a beating session from his father, one of the founders of AKO, with a nonsense True or False quiz bee with the right answers making absolutely no sense (but they were funny, I won’t lie)
Though this one part of the scene truly brought out Mike de Leon’s genius:
Ang Martial Law ay nakabuti sa taong bayan. Tama o Mali?
Ronnie’s lack of response is widely subject to interpretation.
Sid Lucero takes on the role of being the batch’s de facto leader. He was mentioned as someone who thought and acted like a master. He never questioned anything his whole time as a neophyte, this always brought out arguments in the batch. Even at times supporting/enabling the wrongdoings of the masters.
Another highlight is the use of Nazi symbolism at their talent show, Upakan ’81. The brawl scene where ΑΚΩ fights ΣΟΣ at the backstage where AKO was crossdressed still makes me laugh.
Arni and Ronnie are two characters that didn’t deserve their fates.
Arni just simply wanted to date a girl, but was held back by Abet who was her brother, also a fratman under Sigma Omicron Sigma. They eventually put Arni down for good. Angering Sid who wanted to get revenge for his dear friend and batchmate.
Even if frats seemed barbaric the whole film, they had a system for brawls which surprised me.
In the brawl, it was Sigma who broke the conditions of the agreement. They brought weapons which were not part of the deal. Luckily enough, AKΩ brought their own set of tools. Meaning that not all the time, fratmen keep their word.
At the end, it was something of delayed gratification. A reach to the finish line. 5 made it to become brods.
The ending scene shows us a glimpse that it is an endless cycles as what once were neophytes, were now masters. They are continuing to enforce the brutal system. Creating a perpetual cycle of endless agony and hurt. Depriving young men of their ability to think freely;
Like how Ferdinand Marcos Sr. stripped the Filipino of his dignity. Making him a slave of his regime, a pawn in his game.
I recommend that this film be mandatory viewing for students. It is a film that opens the heart and mind.

It’s quite obvious that the genesis of every problem a koala faces; from its extreme levels of stupidity to its sedentary lifestyle, comes from feeding exclusively on eucalyptus. Eucalyptus is quite poisonous and has almost zero nutritional value.
Would it be possible to get a baby koala, long before it starts developing a preference, and then feeding it something equally as light as eucalyptus (because i think their digestive systems might be too weak and adapted to such) but more nutritious.
Would it make them more active and intelligent?

Three weeks ago, I (22F) started getting sharp pains under by left rib. The pains tend to bounce around the left side of my abdomen in the flank area, but seems to be consistently tender about 2 inches below my left rib. I saw my gastroenterologist today about an unrelated issue and asked about this pain, and he confirmed it was likely kidney related and not related to the digestive system. He didn’t seem that concerned though. I made an appointment with my PCP but it’s not until Wednesday. I’m not sure I could wait that long. Does it sound like I could have stones? Most people say the symptoms come on strong and sudden but it seems gradual to me.

I want to share something that I’ve founded insanely helpful.
I’ve been in this arena for a while. Health challenges early on forced me into it, and it took me a long time to heal. The list of diagnoses and symptoms I had is way too long to list here, but some included: chronic fatigue syndrome, chronic pain, chronic Lyme, severe anxiety and depression, major insomnia, pharmaceutical injury from SSRIs and other meds, dissociation, depersonalization, food intolerances and digestive issues, mast cell issues, seizures, and more. The whole journey was over 15 years, but I spent a few of those years confined to bed, and at the lowest point, I was down to about 110 pounds (I’m 5’8”, male).
I have found a number of important biohacks that have really helped me, including mineral balancing, red light sauna therapy, coffee enemas, grounding, proper light environment/circadian-based sun exposure, ozone insufflation, specific diet, and so on.
But the most important biohack has been neural retraining.
In a nutshell: it’s the process of using neuroplasticity (the brain’s ability to change itself according to stimuli) to direct your brain and nervous system in a way that supports health, wellbeing, and success.
It blends neuroscience, positive and performance psychology, visualization and manifestation, movement, meditation, vagal toning, and more to utilize the whole brain to change in ways that are beneficial for us.
At the root of most health conditions is stress, and neural retraining teaches your brain and nervous system how to react differently to stress. For example, when I was at my worst, I would go into complete nervous system shutdown over something as simple as a phone call that was coming up. I had to teach my brain how to experience safety again in spite of all the overwhelming signals to the contrary—some of them very real physical issues.
There’s more to it than this, but that’s the oversimplified gist of it.
I’ve seen people use this body of work to overcome severe health challenges (physical and emotional), break addictions, change relationships for the better, and a lot more.
The great thing is, when you get your brain and nervous system on board with what you’re doing, everything else you do in the biohacking arena will work better. But if your brain is not working with you, everything you do will be less effective, or in my case, completely ineffective until that issue is fixed.
In essence, it can be a solution in itself AND it can also supercharge whatever biohacking routine you have going on.
Anyway, that’s what I wanted to say. Happy biohacking to you all!

I’ve (26M) struggled with depression and some suicidal ideation on and off since I was 16. It was a long road and took a lot of work on myself and countless hours of therapy, but around the end of 2023, I was in what I now consider to be the peak of my life. I was working a job I mostly liked, two semesters away from finishing my bachelor’s degree online and exercising almost every other day. After years of loneliness, I finally found a friend group I really adored spending time with, and I had a boyfriend with whom I hadn’t even realized I had fallen in love, whom I’d seen for about 6 months. For perhaps the first time, I had a generally positive outlook, I felt confident and attractive, and I had so much going for me. I had no clue that I was about to make a decision that would significantly alter that course and steer me off into the deepest, darkest depression and most relentless desire to end it all that I’ve ever felt. This is a very long and personal post about my decision to have surgery that I now, in hindsight, believe to have been unnecessary. The surgery itself has left me with chronic pain and probably lifelong negative consequences that are far worse than anything I ever experienced prior. I’ve kept most of this to myself other than sharing it with my therapist, and although I’m on the ledge, I think writing it all down and putting it out there may calm me somewhat. I haven’t spared some graphic details of some of the more sensitive changes to my body because I want this to be as detailed and accurate as possible. And anyway, why should I care? I may be dead soon anyway... My hope is that if I share my story, someone, somewhere, might benefit from it and might not make the same mistake I did that has me sincerely wanting to off myself. So here it goes.
Around NovembeDecember 2023, I started experiencing some strange stabbing pain in my upper right abdomen that would come on suddenly and then go away for no obvious reason. I also thought I saw trace amounts of blood in my stool, and this concerned me enough that I reached out to my primary care doctor at the beginning of January. My doctor is always booked for months, so they told me to go to the emergency room. The ER was packed, and I ended up sitting in the waiting room for about eight hours in between going for an ultrasound and a CT scan. I was getting very tired of waiting and was about ready to give up and leave as I had to work early in the morning the next day. Looking back, I wish I had left. Just before I was about to leave, they called me back and told me that they found something on the CT scan called an intussusception in my small bowel. This is a condition where the intestine gets caught on a “lead point” and folds in on itself, sort of like a telescope. It is most often found in infants and is very rarely found in people my age, yet I was told it is a medical emergency because the tissue of my bowel could die if left untreated, and/or the lead point could be a potentially cancerous tumor. They admitted me and told me they would scan me again in the morning because, despite the severity, there was a chance it could resolve. Hearing that I would be staying overnight shocked me, as I had never been hospitalized before, having always been in good physical health. I have never had digestive issues in the past, I’ve never been diagnosed with Crohn’s disease or ulcerative colitis or anything of the sort, and I had never heard of this condition, but every medical professional I spoke to seemed very concerned that I had it. They didn’t have a bed for me in the hospital at that point, so I had to sleep in the packed and quite chaotic ER. About an hour after I was given a bed, a man was admitted a few feet from me who was very aggressive with all of the nurses, screaming and cursing at them throughout the night. I was not allowed to eat or drink, given the possibility of surgery. I struggled to get any sleep in that environment and woke up the next morning feeling very lethargic.
The surgeon and resident came by my bed and we spoke briefly. The surgeon explained that while the condition was serious, if it continued to show up in my CT scans, they could do minimally invasive laparoscopic surgery to resect the piece of my bowel that was telescoped and stitch it back together. I feel they really downplayed the severity of this procedure. I will never forget them saying, “It’s such a small piece of your bowel, you won’t miss it.” They felt that since I was young and otherwise healthy, I should have no problem making a full recovery. I felt confident in the fact that I was speaking to the chief of surgery at the hospital, who has more than twenty years of experience in the field. Then they brought me for my second scan, and within a few hours I was told the intussusception had not resolved. I was admitted to a hospital room, and the resident came to discuss moving forward with the surgery. My first impulse was “absolutely not,” but I quickly second-guessed myself. Everything I saw in the limited research I was able to do on my phone stated that this was indeed a serious condition that warranted surgery. In that moment, it seemed like the reasons not to go through with it were somewhat vain, such as not wanting the scars and having to forgo lifting weights at the gym for some time. Though it didn’t quite make sense to me that they wanted to operate on the complete opposite side of my body from the one that was in pain and which brought me into the ER in the first place. When I asked the resident about this, he responded, “We don’t understand how referred pain works,” Okay, fair enough, I thought. More than anything, I thought that if a doctor was in front of me, telling me what was going on with my body was an emergency situation that warranted immediate surgery, I should probably listen to them. They’re the “experts,” after all. And given the state I was in, having been in the hospital for over 24 hours at that point, running on very little sleep and nothing to eat, I don’t think I really had the capacity to fully parse what was going on, but given the doctors level of concern, it seemed like I urgently had to make a decision. After about an hour of talking it over with my mother, even though I never had any pain in the area they were about to operate on, I signed the consent papers. (Biggest fucking mistake of my life) I remember they listed risks of things that could go wrong during or shortly after the surgery, such as infection, bowel perforation, etc. They did not mention the procedure’s possible long-term consequences, and neither the surgeon nor resident ever mentioned possible long-term complications, and I didn’t think to ask. I had no experience with this kind of thing whatsoever; I am not a doctor, I don’t know any doctors, and no one I know has ever had abdominal surgery… I was so naive to trust these people, but I did. In fact, I trusted them so much that I was not terribly scared of the procedure I was about to undergo. Again, I chalk that up to the reduced mental capacity I was in, given a tough overnight stay in the ER. I remember the adrenaline rush as I was wheeled down to the operating room. I was singing one of my favorite songs in my head, hyping myself up for the procedure ahead of me. The last thing I remember was one of the OR nurses telling my mother not to worry, that the surgeon was “the best,” and that they had even operated on her husband.
I woke up high as a kite. I heard one of the nurses say I had been given fentanyl, which I remember freaked me out; I had forgotten it is more than a street drug and actually has legitimate uses. The procedure had gone fine, and I was discharged only a day or two later, with my only guidance upon discharge being not to lift heavy objects and “take it easy,” I was in some pain, but it was to be expected at that point and was well controlled by combining Tylenol and Advil. The surgeon called later that week to inform me that the pathology report had come back and that the lead point was simply “some swollen lymph nodes,” I was relieved to hear that it was not cancer. At my follow-up appointment two weeks later, I reported feeling pretty much fine. I had been granted medical leave and short-term disability from my job for six weeks following the surgery. This was the full length of time after which the surgeons expected I would recover fully. I used the time off to hang out with friends and my boyfriend and to focus on finishing what would have been my final semester of school. Those were the last few weeks that I felt somewhat normal despite what I had just gone through. I had no idea what was about to come.
About 5 weeks post-op is when I first began experiencing worse pain deep in my abdomen, right where I had the surgery, plus the pain in my upper right abdomen had not gone away. This new pain is crampy, yet sometimes stabbing, and had seemed to worsen with activity; I have experienced it every single day, nearly every hour, to varying degrees, since the beginning of February. That was also when I began regularly bloating and having difficulty going to the bathroom. No matter how hard I try to push, I can’t fully evacuate my bowels. (This is a nightmare for someone who has receptive anal sex like I used to do regularly. It is now impossible). With the emergence of all these symptoms, I felt very, very scared that there was something else wrong with me. And, of course, this all happened in the week when I was set to return to work. I have a physically demanding customer service job, and I was in so much pain that I found it impossible to be nice to the customers or even stand, so I left and, thankfully, was allowed to take the rest of the week off to figure things out. I obviously called my surgeon, but it also prompted me to do deeper research into the complications that can develop following abdominal surgery. I began pouring over medical journals, trying to figure out what was going on in my body on my own. That was when I first learned about “surgical adhesions.” These are fibrous bands of scar tissue that can develop due to the incisions made during surgery and handling of the bowel. As your body heals from the trauma of surgery, this scar tissue forms and can cause your intestine to stick to other organs or structures in your body. According to medical literature, they form in 90% of all patients who undergo abdominal surgery, but not all adhesions cause complications like what I’ve experienced. They are not easy to diagnose as they are impossible to visualize on any imaging tests, they do not go away on their own (it’s scar tissue), and the only treatment is surgically cutting them apart, which is risky, given that there’s a strong chance they will just grow back and possibly be even worse. This was obviously terrifying to me, but when I asked the surgeon about this, they said, “There’s very little chance that’s what’s happening,” given that the procedure was laparoscopic, not open. I scheduled another appointment with them, wherein they seemed quite dismissive of my concerns. They said the pain was likely “incisional” (it wasn’t and isn’t) but that they would order another CT scan so we could see what was going on. They also wrote me a script for gabapentin, an anticonvulsant meant to prevent seizures that is used off-label to treat pain and anxiety, with the qualifier that they would not write a script for anything stronger, basically implying that I was seeking narcotics, which was not at all the case, and which I found extremely offensive.
My next CT scan was scheduled about a month following that appointment in early March. In the interim, I began taking the gabapentin. I used more than I was prescribed because it was the only way I was able to control the pain and allow myself to feel comfortable at work. I didn’t anticipate the changes it would cause to my mood and behavior. In addition to feeling depressed and scared, I was also becoming easily emotionally dysregulated in ways I believe I would have been able to control prior to taking the medication. But when I didn’t take it, I was in pretty bad pain almost all the time, and I didn’t understand why at that point. My boyfriend noticed these changes in my mood and decided he needed space from me to protect his emotional wellbeing. I didn’t blame him then, and I still don’t, but I miss him terribly. We were supposed to remain “friends,” and he at least pretended he wanted that for a bit of time. At that point, I became determined to ween myself off the gabapentin and continue to work on improving my mental and physical health, for myself, but also for him; as I said, I really loved him. Later that week, after we split, I had my CT scan, and the surgeon called to tell me that it looked like I was just constipated. They advised me to take Miralax daily to ease that constipation, which should hopefully make me feel better. To me, this seemed like a huge relief. I started taking the Miralax, and at that point, I started exercising and lifting weights again. I also started trying to bulk up again, which had been an important part of my fitness journey prior to the surgery.
So April rolls around, and I am still trying my best to resume my normal life, which felt possible again at that point. I did end up successfully weening myself off gabapentin. With this newfound reinvigoration, I attempted to get my boyfriend back. We would make plans, but then he would reschedule again and again. Eventually, he kept our plans, and we met up for a talk in the park. We obviously had a lot to talk about in our relationship, at which point he told me that he simply was not attracted to me anymore. This was devastating news, as that was the first time I realized it was really over. Before I had thought that if I could show him how much I was trying to get back to the place I was before the surgery, he would stick around, but that was the moment I realized it was impossible for him to see me in the light he once did. Nevertheless, I tried to push on, kept going to the gym, and kept trying to get my life back. I was still seeing my friends regularly, and I was able to push myself to get through work, even though it was painful and hard. Plus, I was still working on my degree despite not feeling able to give it my best effort and focus with everything going on. I was still motivated to keep going, and I thought things might improve from there.
Well, lo and behold, they did not. One day in early April, I was sitting on the couch, sort of mindlessly snacking on some almonds before I was set to go have drinks with friends and see a concert. Immediately afterward, I felt that pain again in my abdomen. Despite that, I was really excited to see my friends and see the show. We met at a bar, where I had three cocktails before we made our way to the venue. I drank one or two more while the opener played. But by the time the headliner came on, I ended up in so much pain that I told my friends quite regrettably that I had to leave. I walked home and ate a small snack, wrongfully thinking it might make me feel better, before popping a melatonin and heading to bed. I woke up around 2 AM in the most intense pain I have experienced both before and after the surgery. I was extremely bloated and unable to pass gas or move my bowels. I had read somewhere that this was a sign of bowel obstruction and that I needed to seek medical attention. I made the decision to go to the ER. I walked down the stairs to leave, and as I did, I felt myself begin to vomit. Thankfully I was able to make it to the sink as I puked up what I imagine was that snack I’d had before bed. Shortly after, I arrived at the ER, this time choosing a different facility from the one where the surgeon had dismissed all of my post-surgical concerns. I was quickly admitted and given another CT scan. They confirmed my bowel was obstructed and told me they would place a tube into my nose down to my stomach to try to pump some of the blockage out. I asked the ER doctor if I was going to need to have surgery, to which he replied, “It’s a strong possibility.” This was horrifying to me. Getting the tube inserted into my nose was so painful, and I was screaming in agony the entire time. Then they gave me morphine, and I passed out. The details and timeline of that hospital stay are somewhat hazy in my mind, but I ended up being there for four days, over which I was given a “gastro graph challenge” test, wherein I was instructed to drink a contrast element which would be visualized by a series of Xrays so the doctors could monitor if anything was passing through my intestines. I met with another surgeon, whom I found to be much more attentive than my prior one, or at least simply possessing superior active listening skills. In fact, I felt that all of the staff at this second hospital were a lot more sensitive to my needs than the first. I really wish I had gone there the first time, as it’s the best hospital in the city. Add that to my long list of mistakes… Anyway.
Despite her more positive demeanor, she recommended another emergency surgery, this time a laparotomy (open) surgery to resect my bowel a second time. Her hypothesis was that the anastomosis (the medical term for the connection formed between my bowel loops during the first surgery) could be too narrow to allow food to pass through properly. I asked this new surgeon if it was possible I had adhesions causing this problem, and unlike the last one, she said, “It’s possible,” especially given that these symptoms began emerging a few weeks after the first surgery. But, like I said, they don’t really know what’s going on until they cut you open and go in there. Given that I am now much more aware of the risks of surgery and the risks of having a second procedure, I was fervently against going under the knife again. I simply couldn’t handle it. So I opted for conservative management, which meant waiting it out, taking an enema, and eventually getting back on a liquid and then solid diet. Thankfully, sitting in the hospital being NPO (Latin for nil per os - “nothing by mouth”) and taking the gastro graph made it pass eventually, and I didn’t have to have a second surgery. I was discharged from the hospital with instructions to schedule another diagnostic test called a “small bowel series,” in which they use xrays to track the amount of time it takes liquid to pass through your digestive system and to start a “low residue” diet- meaning eating very little fiber. Suddenly gone from my diet are all of the fruits and vegetables I once loved, and I can’t eat nuts or seeds (It seems to me that those almonds caused the obstruction in the first place). Basically, I’m now forced to exist on a diet of the most processed foods imaginable because although they are demonstrably unhealthy, that is all that my body is now able to safely digest.
After leaving that second hospital stay, I proceeded to delve even further into research about not only long-term abdominal surgery complications such as adhesions but also the nature of adult intussusceptions in general. I once again started furiously googling, finding results from medical journals and personal accounts from Reddit. I came to the conclusion that intussusceptions in adults, while ostensibly serious, have a strong possibility of resolving on their own, especially when they present in the small bowel, in the absence of vomiting (I never vomited before going to the hospital in January), when there is no obvious lead point (they couldn’t see it on my scans) and there is no obstruction (I was never obstructed before the surgery). Furthermore, while intussusception does present with blood in the stool, it is usually described as “currant jelly stool” (something I don’t recommend you google because it looks atrocious), which is not even close to the trace amounts of blood I saw in my own stool. (But no one ever asked, so how would I know the difference?) I never experienced any pain whatsoever in the area of my small bowel before the surgery. And yet I was told by a doctor that I was experiencing a medical emergency, which might have been caused by some malignant growth, which scared the shit out of me and made me feel at the time that immediate action was necessary. At one point, I even found a paper that attributed intussusception to cannabis use, which I had engaged in that week. In these papers, the authors highlight that these intussusceptions were transient and did not require surgical intervention. And on the point of adhesions, they are not easily diagnosed, and they are not easily treatable without surgical intervention; and said intervention is a cache 22 scenario because every time you get cut open, you risk growing back even more adhesions.
With all of this knowledge, I became absolutely distraught. I was never informed that by having this procedure performed, I would be at this increased risk of experiencing bowel obstruction. Like most people, I literally had no idea what an “adhesion” even was. What made me lose hope the most was that it seems as if doctors do these surgeries and simply ignore adhesion as a consequence because they don’t have any feasible way to prevent it or treat it without potentially creating more adhesion. So, although I was released from the hospital having avoided a second surgery, I felt more lost and hopeless than ever. I simply couldn’t cope with the realization that this would be something I would deal with for the rest of my life, something I could’ve avoided had I never agreed to get the first surgery because although I had that original pain I mentioned earlier- which has still continued to this day, it wasn’t and isn’t anything close to how excruciating the obstruction was, and it wasn’t really disrupting my life in the way the post-surgical pain has. But under the guidance of doctors, I opted to permanently alter my body, and there’s no going back. I feel so incredibly stupid for being deceived by these “medical professionals” who didn’t take the time to understand what was actually going on with me and chose to take an overly aggressive course of action that has left me permanently altered, in pain, and completely diminished my quality of life.
That week after leaving the hospital was truly the most suicidal I have ever felt. As I mentioned, I’ve dealt with suicidal ideation on and off since my adolescence. I’ve always had latent thoughts about wanting to die, wanting to escape, feeling like I’m hopeless and there’s no use trying to better myself. But this time, the desire to end my life was so much more intense. I became extremely disassociated from everything in life. In that week following my second hospitalization, there was absolutely nothing that could bring me joy. Before the surgery, I used to find deep pleasure in simply walking around my neighborhood for at least an hour every day. But I couldn’t do it anymore because walking gives me time to think, and thinking is too painful. It always leads back to the realization of the way I am now. Nothing could make me smile or laugh. I couldn’t even listen to music, one of my favorite things in the world. I became completely devoid of all emotions as my research transitioned away from my various new ailments and into ways I could end my life.
The rest of April and May passed by in a blur. Over that time, I’ve had two more appointments with the surgeons I met at the second hospital, a small bowel study (a more in-depth series of x-rays tracking the transit time of liquid through the GI tract), and a colonoscopy and endoscopy. Those have not yielded any significant findings as to what is going on, making me believe even more that all of these problems are being caused by adhesions. However, the small bowel study did reveal that my stomach is slightly herniated, which I believe is the cause of the original pain that I sought care for in the first place. At my last appointment, I was told to see a “small bowel specialist” GI doctor. But that was three weeks ago, and I haven’t even been able to get an appointment with them. I’m on a waiting list, but I imagine I’m looking at many months before I can get an appointment. I don’t know what they’re going to do for me. I don’t know that there’s anything that can be done besides more surgery, and I am very fearful about that. I fear the only way that these fucking doctors who fucked me up in the first place are going to even try to help me is if I’m obstructed again. But the changes to my diet, as much as I hate them, have kept me in a more manageable amount of pain and out of the hospital for now.
It is now June, and I am shocked that I am still here and confused about what to do now. Despite the diet, I still feel pain and discomfort at some point in the day, every single day. I think about wanting this all to end all of the time. I have not attempted again, though I did pick up another nitrogen tank, and I’ve also stockpiled a 90 day supply of my antidepressant, so at least I have the option. I am drinking two bottles of wine or half a bottle of vodka nearly every night. Alcohol is the only thing that seems to quiet my thoughts enough to get through each evening. I am sitting here in a cycle where I think about doing it, but I still feel obligated to go to work, to see my friends, and to feed my cat. My life has continued, but I don’t feel like I’m living anymore; I merely exist. I feel extremely unattractive because although I look the same as I did on the outside, I’m overcome with never ending emotional pain and turmoil on the inside. I am now unable to take care of myself and be on top of my life the way I used to be. After the second hospitalization, I dropped out of school and have no plans to continue, as I won’t need a bachelor’s degree when I’m dead. I have stopped exercising altogether, as it feels like there’s no point in trying to improve or take care of a body that has been permanently broken. Through all of this, I’ve lost much of my confidence and I feel I have completely lost my identity. I miss that old me so much. I miss my boyfriend so much. Plans with my friends are sometimes the only thing that keeps me going, and I am extremely grateful for them, but despite their continued presence, I feel extremely isolated and lonely. It’s hard to explain what I’ve been through to people without the context of all that has happened. I don’t have the energy to share it with them. And I feel if I speak about what I’m going through, I will feel like a burden, killing the vibe, and I don’t want that.
I have never felt this alienated from my body and from everything in life. I cannot cope with the fact that things will never be how they were before. I feel so incredibly distraught that I threw away what was shaping up to be the best days of my life. There’s nothing I or anyone else can do to change what has happened to me. It took me such a long time to get to the place I was in before the surgery. It was a brief and beautiful couple of months, but it’s over, and there’s no way for me to return. Even if there was, I don’t have that much of a fight left in me. I feel like such a fucking idiot for allowing the doctors to do this to me. I look around at all the happy people around me and know that I am dragging them down with my depression. I am tired of feeling helpless and like a burden on everyone I love. I am a shell of the person I once was. Ending it all is the singular thing that’s in my control. It is the only way to end all of this pain and suffering and stop the concern and confusion of my loved ones. I know that my exit will be painful to them, but they will all get over it in time. But me? I don’t think I will ever get over this. I will never be able to accept this horrible choice that I made. I am so tired of living this way. I am supposed to turn 27 soon, but I really don’t want to live to see my birthday. I have nothing to celebrate. My life is completely, irreversibly fucked. I don’t know when I will go, but it will be sooner rather than later. I am so sorry to everyone. I know this will hurt. I just can’t go on living this way. To all the people I care about, know that I love you, and I am so thankful you were part of my life. I know you will all go on to do great things without me. This entire saga has been unbearable; my life has spun out of control, and suicide is the only way to end my suffering. I’m sorry. I’m signing off.
TL;DR: Doctors performed a surgery I now think was unnecessary and the complications make me want to kill myself.

Game List:
12 is Better Than 6
112 Operator
911 Operator
Afterimage
Abandon Ship
Action Henk
Agent in Depth
Alchemist’s Castle
The Amazing American Circus
Arboria
Arcade Spirits
Archvale
Armello
Backbone
Bionic Commando
Book of Demons
Calico
Cats and the Other Lives
Clash: Artifacts of Chaos
Citizens of Earth
Cosmic Express
Company of Heroes
Cris Tales
Cultist Simulator
Darkside Detective
Death Squared
Desolate
Detached: Non-VR Edition
Dodgeball Academia
Donut Dodo
Doughlings: Arcade
Doughlings: Invasion
EARTH DEFENSE FORCE 4.1 +All DLC
Fae Tactics
Farming Simulator 17
Fight'N Rage
Firegirl: Hack ‘n Splash Rescue DX
Flynn: Son of Crimson
For the King
Frick, Inc
Guilty Gear X2 #Reload
Guns & Fishes
Hack ‘n’ Slash
Harmony’s Odyssey
Hellpoint
Hyper Gunsport
Infectonator: Survivors
Izmir: An Independence Simulator
Into the Pit
Just Cause 3 XXL Edition
Kona
Late Shift
Lighthouse Keeper
Little Orpheus
Lost Horizon
Lumino City
Lust from Beyond - M Edition
Lust for Darkness
Mad Games Tycoon
Meow Express
MirrorMoon EP
Monaco
Mount & Blade: Warband
Non-Stop Raiders
Observer_
Okhlos
Orbital Racer
Orwell: Keeping an Eye On You
Paradigm
Pathfinder: Kingmaker - Enhanced Plus Edition
Pathologic Classic HD
Party Hard 2
Phantom Brave
Pill Baby
Pixross
Planet TD
Project Chemistry
Project Highrise
Psychonauts
Quadrata
Q.U.B.E. 2
Regions of Ruin
Remnant: From The Ashes
Remnants of Naezith
Replica
Ring of Pain
Rollers of the Realm
Rym 9000
Satellite Reign
Scanner Sombre
Screencheat
Seasons After Fall
Secret Files: Tunguska
The Shrouded Isle
Skullgirls
Slain: Back from Hell
Slipstream
Soulblight
Soulflow
Soul Searching
Space Crew: Legendary Edition
Stacking
Starfinder Core Rulebook
Starfinder: Junker’s Delight
Strange Brigade
Steamworld Heist
Stikir
Stygian: Reign of the Old Ones
Sunblaze
Sundered
Sunlight
The Surge
Surgeon Simulator
Symmetry
Syrian Warfare - Deluxe Edition
System Shock Enhanced Edition
System Shock 2
Teslagrad
Tempest: Pirate Action RPG
Tharsis
THOTH
Ticket to Ride
Train Valley
Trove Skyfire Helm
Tulpa
Tunche
The Uncertain: Episode 1 - The Last Quiet Day
Valfaris
Valnir Rok
Victoria II
Void Bastards
The Warlock of Firetop Mountain
The Way
Worms Rumble
XCOM 2
Xel
Zeno Clash 2
https://store.steampowered.com/wishlist/profiles/76561197998367410/#sort=order
https://www.reddit.com/IGSRep/comments/11qi68u/orybory3s_igs_rep_page/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

Hey folks. I run a growth marketing agency and have been lucky enough to work with some great founders and CMOs from 50+ SaaS companies over the past 5 years. But this post is not about that.
About 2 years ago, I started to hear two repeating themes from some of my clients.
Theme 1 was: "We need to capture and synthesize more feedback from our users", and theme 2 was along the lines of: "We aren't actively pursuing reviews because we are weary of negative reviews effecting our reputation".
Based on these two themes, I became obsessed with figuring out a solution. Something that would kill 2 birds with one stone, being a liaison between feedback and reputation.
IDEA PHASE
The idea behind TrustLoop was simply this, so I got to work. First, I designed a system to build surveys and capture feedback. Then I created a mechanism to separate the survey if it is positive feedback and ask the person leaving the positive feedback to make it public based on the links our clients add (G2, TrustPilot, etc), and doing so in a way they didn't have to rewrite their review (copying it to their clipboard automatically).
Finally, I would add some AI elements to help our users digest the feedback by surfacing any common complaints, and areas for actionable improvement.
Design / Development Part 1
I posted on Upwork with a breakdown of the idea, all the requirements needed, added a budget and pushed it live.
After thoroughly interviewing several candidates, I ended up going with a two-person designer / developer team from Ukraine.
They quoted me at $10K for the whole project on a 6-month timeline which was about what I was willing to spend and wait. We set up milestones and got to work.
The UX/UI design phase went well, but about 3 months into development, I started seeing some delays. The war in Ukraine was getting worse, and the dev became less and less responsive. Unfortunately, I was naive and paid forward for some of the work that became more and more obvious that it wasn't going to get completed.
I walked away after 6 months and $6K of the payments already spent with a half-built product.
Design / Development Part 2
Maybe it was a sunk-cost fallacy, but I was still determined to get my product off the ground.
I decided to hire an internal team, increase the budget significantly, and rebuild the product from the ground up.
I became obsessed with creating something useful, something people would truly benefit from using.
The project was going much better than before, I truly enjoyed working with my two interns (design and dev), a dedicated full-stack dev, and some freelancers.
But costs began to add up ...
I was funneling money from my agency to pay for this project, and I lost track of spend.
Pre-launch
Fast forward to 3 months ago, and we now have a completed product that functions like I had hoped. I started reaching out to my clients to gather feedback and many of them tried it out... I was nervous to get their feedback (kind of ironic), but it was overwhelmingly positive. There were a few requested features, some updates, and other question, but many of them converted into paying users after the 14-day free trial.
The last few months have just been tying up loose ends, building out emails, adding other software tools, etc.
I finally calculated my total spend on this project so far: $27,500
As a non-dev, I should have expected costs to add up and increase my budget, but in the age of AI, I didn't expect it to get this crazy (it is A LOT for me).
Luckily, the product is performing well - we have 17 paying users even pre-public launch, so the ARR is about $5K.
Launch (soon)
I will be publicly launching TrustLoop in a few weeks and am excited but also quite nervous. I never expected to put so much into a product like this, and I truly hope people find it useful. Luckily, I run a marketing agency, so I have tons of ideas on how to market it.
Anyways, this is my journey so far - being an entrepreneur is crazy and it takes intensity and patience at the same time.
Cheers!

Hey there, 29M Founder of a faceless cat themed blog. I’ve been able to leverage AI to create educational reels + viral memes + community questions to grow this media brand: 👇
Instagram June 2023 —> 10k followers (bought small cat blog) June 2024 —-> 18.1k followers (8k+ organic)
Facebook June 2023 —> 5k followers (100% organic) June 2024 —> 59k followers (54k+ organic)
Engagement isn’t great ~ 2.5 - 7% But we have built a community of engaged cat parents: 👇
Demographics Women - (85%) Men - (15%)
WHAT I’VE TRIED…. ON A LIMITED MARKETING BUDGET 👇
(2020 - 2023) Mobile app for toxic foods, plants - sunsetted due to lack of funds for maintenance
(Jan 2023) Drop shipping + growing blog -Facebook and ig organic is terrible/ limited ad $$
(Aug 2023) Custom portraits + growing blog -Facebook and ig organic is terrible/ limited ad $$
(Current 2024) cat themed blog/media company with no direction of a business model
For context, I have 0 skill is software dev but Ive worked cross functionally with front end dev teams so I understand basic logic of systems and back end function. My professional background is IT Sales so light scripting but mainly branding, leveraging existing technologies, digital marketing and in person sales.
I’ve spent a grip trying to monetize and I’m at my wits end. I genuinely love my community and what I do and this could be my way out of the rat race but I’m stumped.
I’m considering pivoting to an AI automated agency for the pet niche?
Leveraging our community and just build to get brand collabs?
Leverage the information from our sunsetted app into an EBOOK?
Please assist. I’m open to all feedback and critiques.
I thank you in advance.

Hey there, 29M Founder of a faceless cat themed blog. I’ve been able to leverage AI to create educational reels + viral memes + community questions to grow this media brand: 👇
Instagram June 2023 —> 10k followers (bought small cat blog) June 2024 —-> 18.1k followers (8k+ organic)
Facebook June 2023 —> 5k followers (100% organic) June 2024 —> 59k followers (54k+ organic)
Engagement isn’t great ~ 2.5 - 7% But we have built a community of engaged cat parents: 👇
Demographics Women - (85%) Men - (15%)
WHAT I’VE TRIED…. ON A LIMITED MARKETING BUDGET 👇
(2020 - 2023) Mobile app for toxic foods, plants - sunsetted due to lack of funds for maintenance
(Jan 2023) Drop shipping + growing blog -Facebook and ig organic is terrible/ limited ad $$
(Aug 2023) Custom portraits + growing blog -Facebook and ig organic is terrible/ limited ad $$
(Current 2024) cat themed blog/media company with no direction of a business model
For context, I have 0 skill is software dev but Ive worked cross functionally with front end dev teams so I understand basic logic of systems and back end function. My professional background is IT Sales so light scripting but mainly branding, leveraging existing technologies, digital marketing and in person sales.
I’ve spent a grip trying to monetize and I’m at my wits end. I genuinely love my community and what I do and this could be my way out of the rat race but I’m stumped.
I’m considering pivoting to an AI automated agency for the pet niche?
Leveraging our community and just build to get brand collabs?
Leverage the information from our sunsetted app into an EBOOK?
Please assist. I’m open to all feedback and critiques.
I thank you in advance.

Hi Everyone, later this month I will be 7 years out of my Glioblastoma diagnosis. I was 30 years old when I was diagnosed and am 37 years old now. Over the last 6+ years, I have been put in contact with many people battling the same diagnosis and decided to create a Word document titled "Health & Happiness", which details all of the things I have incorporated into my healing journey. Everyone is different and I am simply sharing what has worked for me. Neither me or my wife are in the medical field however we have spent a lot of time researching things to integrate into my day-to-day life which we believe are keeping me healthy. For the first 5 years of my journey I received MRI's every 8 weeks; now that I am more than 5 years out I get MRI's every 12 weeks. Below is a copy and paste of the document:
*Below there are some discount codes that I have not affiliation with and found them through IG or marketing emails and they might be outdated*
My Neurosurgeon:
Dr. Mitchel Berger - UCSF
My Neuro Oncologist:
Dr. Timothy Cloughesy - UCLA
My Naturopathic Doctor:
· Christian Gonzalez, ND
o Check out his podcast, “Heal Thy Self” – This podcast has been life-changing for my wife and I. It has provided us with assurance about the path that we have been on to keep me healthy and has opened our eyes to so many things that we thought were “good” and “healthy” when in fact we were grossly misled to a technique called “Green Washing” that a lot of companies and products use in their marketing efforts.
· Below are two links where you can find a ND in your area.
o Naturopath Oncologist Database - https://oncanp.org/directory/
o General Naturopath Doctor Database - https://www.naturopathic.org/AF_MemberDirectory.asp?version=2
CBD/THC Extracts - Cancer Protocols:
· I went through CT's full 90 day protocol back in 2017 in conjunction with radiation and chemo (Temodar). I am on CT's "maintenance" program and have been since I finished the 90 day protocol.
o https://www.constancetherapeutics.com/
o https://www.forbes.com/sites/abbierosne2019/01/24/constance-finleys-midlife-detour-to-cannabis-extraction-connoisseu#456c41bc35c6
§ The article above is from Forbes magazine on Constance and how she got started.
Books and Documentaries:
· Radical Remission. This book was the first book I read when I was diagnosed and gave me knowledge and motivation to not look at my diagnosis as a death sentence. One of the most powerful cancer books I have read and I highly recommend it for anyone that has cancer or knows someone that has cancer. 😊
· What the Health: Netflix
· Heal: Netflix
o Here are a couple ‘extras’ from “Heal” that we found very powerful and inspiring.
§ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7sxmK8A-Kco&list=PLmcZvnvGDkToo9nYIX3ugcgyLCll0NLLc&utm_content=b080891cf2ccb1c272c432873d52f9cd&utm_campaign=Don%27t+believe+you+can+change+your+destiny%3F+This+video+could+help+you+change+your+mind.&utm_source=Robly.com&utm_medium=email

§ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EeQjNRahxrw&feature=youtu.be&utm_content=eadbd6e0e0dff2d44d28e6515fa4c2a1&utm_campaign=Rob+Wergin+use+his+incredible+and+unique+gifts&utm_source=Robly.com&utm_medium=email

o The Documentary “Heal”, did so well they wrote a book as well.
· The Game Changers – A documentary on Netflix.
· Forks Over Knives - Netflix
· Cowspiracy – Netflix
· The China Study – Book outlining the most comprehensive study done on nutrition, and the links the standard American diet has to all types of diseases including cancer.
· Being In Balance - Book
· You The Healer – Book
· The Power of Now – Book
· The Celestine Prophecy – Book
· How Not To Die – Book
· The Truth About Cancer – Documentary


Supplements I am taking:
· Maca Root
· Vitamin B12
· Gaia – “Liver Health”
· Bladderwrack & Sea Moss
o We purchase these from- https://alkalineveganshop.com/
· Mushroom Supplements: Chaga, Turkey Tail, Maitake, Reishi, Cordyceps & Lion’s Mane (Real Mushrooms is the company we use.) See video and article below about the health benefits of mushrooms.
o https://www.realmushrooms.com/
o https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uuL_faveAnw
o https://www.drweil.com/health-wellness/body-mind-spirit/canceturkey-tail-mushrooms-for-cancer-treatment/
o Paul Stamets is the CEO of Host Defense and his mother was diagnosed with Stage Four Breast Cancer. He gives a lot of credit to her remission from the mushroom supplements. https://hostdefense.com/also has a 10% off first time order. We order from Vitacost.com though due to their sales and free shipping.
· Agaricus Mushroom – I take it at night with my Essiac Tea (See Below)
· Kelp
· Vitamin D3
· Graviola/Soursop – (can be taken as a supplement or in Tea form)
· Ashwagandha –Benefits and study links below. In the first link below, each number found in the article is a hyper link showcasing different studies that have been conducted proving the benefits listed.
o https://www.healthline.com/nutrition/12-proven-ashwagandha-benefits#section3
o https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/26650066
· Vitamin B2
· Boswellia (Frankincense)
· Melatonin
· CoQ10
[· X-R Shield by LifeExtension – My ND prescribed me to take these 5 days prior to air travel, during travel and 5 days after air travel. When flying, you’re exposed to high amounts of radiation and this supplement helps to protect cell DNA damage]()
· Chaparral
o We purchase these from- https://alkalineveganshop.com/
· Liposomal Glutathione – Quicksilver Scientific
· NAC (N-Acetyl-L-Cysteine, Free-Form)
· Co-E1 NADH
· Probiotic – Klaire Labs, Ther-Biotic Complete
· Life Cykel Mushroom Tinctures
o https://us.lifecykel.com/?rfsn=3953957.f0c203&utm_source=refersion&utm_medium=affiliate&utm_campaign=3953957.f0c203
o Discount code: 0DCB4626
o Chaga, Turkey Tail, Reishi, Lions Maine, Cordyceps, Shitake
o All of the above mushrooms are harnessed in Kakadu Plum juice which is the most Vitamin C dense fruit in the world.
· We get most of our supplements from http://www.vitacost.com . They have sales all the time and free 2-day shipping.

Teas:
· Senna Tea - I drank this on the nights I took Temodar (Chemo) to prevent constipation, it's a lot easier on your body than any OTC medication.
· Essiac Tea - I drink 4 oz. of this every night before bed. People who have defeated cancer give a lot of credit to Essiac Tea.
o We purchase it in loose leaf form from https://www.starwest-botanicals.com/
· Moringa
· Dandelion
· Teas with Turmeric
[· Pique Tea – Organic, ceremonial grade, triple screened for heavy metals, mold toxins and pesticides. This is the only tea that we have been able to find that has a triple screening process for heavy metals. “Organic” does not mean free of heavy metals.]()
o Discount Code: GREENFIELD 15% off!

Other things I do:
· Meditation – Every day for 20 minute – I started off with the app called “Headspace” other people use “Calm”. Its personal preference.
o I am looking into taking a TM class (Transcendental Meditation) and will let you know once I do.
[· Minimizing EMF exposure as much as possible]()
o Sleeping with our phones in airplane mode and away from us, ideally in another room
o Turning off Wi-Fi at night, and even when not in use
o Covering Wi-Fi router and Digital Electricity Meter (outside of house) with EMF guards
§ These can be found here: https://smartmeterguard.com/
o Keeping cell phones away from our bodies as much as possible
o Not using anything wireless near our heads. This includes cell phones (always talk on speaker phone or a wired ear pod connection), air pods or any type of Bluetooth headphones, this includes Bluetooth in the car.
o Hardwiring my office so there is no need for Wi-Fi.
· When we fly, we have these blankets that we wrap around our body. This company has a lot of great products that protect you from EMF exposure.
o https://www.defendershield.com/emf-radiation-protection-blanket
· We also wear these when we fly, they are a company out of Australia
o https://radiasmart.com/emf-hat-hood/
o This is what we have: RS EMF radiation protection hood, blocking RF, EMF- Brian Coat
· Here is another company that is popular, we were not aware of it at the time of buying the other products above.
o https://getlambs.com/products/emf-proof-beanie
· Positive attitude and mindset in everything I do- link below to article explaining how thoughts can benefit or hinder your body
o https://www.huffpost.com/entry/how-your-thoughts-change-your-brain-cells-and-genes_b_9516176
· Eliminate as much stress as I possibly can from my everyday life
· Be present in my mind
· Yoga
· Spin
· Writing down 3 things that I am grateful for each night before bed
· Using Frankincense oil on my feet and pillow, every night, before bed
· Morning Routine: Body Scan Meditation, Drink a liter of water when you wake up (Your body is most dehydrated after a full night’s sleep), stretch or some type of quick 10 minute workout to get your body moving in the morning, “I Am” affirmations (I will usually do this right after I finish my morning stretching, I will typically say 5-10 things out loud to myself, for example (I am healthy, I am a loving husband, I am kind, etc…), statements of gratitude (I will mix this in with my “I Am” affirmations, for example, I am grateful for my bed, I am grateful for my home, I am grateful to have access to organic produce, etc…) I try to focus on this that I have in my life instead of things that I want, rubbing a 1-2 drops of any organic essential oil that you like in your hands in the morning and taking 4-5 deep breaths with your hands over your mouth and nose (this is very helpful in awakening your sensory functions), lastly, I listen to music when getting ready for work in the morning. Soft music in the morning taps into the creative side of your brain and research has shown that individuals that listen to soft music in the morning are more creative and productive throughout the day than those who don’t.
· Taking a walk every day to get fresh air and disconnect, normally with the dogs J
· Circuit Training
· Acupuncture / Energy Healing
· Energy Healer – Steve Montoya – Let me know if you would like his contact info. He travels all over the world healing people. He is in the LA/OC area once a quarter or so.
o https://ramonashealingjourney.wordpress.com/2015/11/04/you-shall-know-them-by-their-love/
· Keeping my body warm at all times. We learned from Traditional Chinese Medicine, that keeping the body warm protects the kidneys, which means all of the other organs can do their job and the body can heal. Also, just for example, when you have a fever, it’s your body’s way of protecting all of your vital organs so that they can do their job, as well as preventing any proliferation of bacteria and viruses.
o http://aprilcrowell.com/asian-medicine/warm-to-the-core/
· John of God – Brazil. Lauren’s cousin went down to visit him during the 4th quarter of 2018 and took a head shot of myself as well as a two-page letter sharing my story. He is a spiritual healer that helped a young man get to a state of meditation where his brain tumor shrunk to nothing. He sent back two bottles of Herbs (Ground Up Passion Flower Leaves – Actual Name: Passiflora) for me to take. There is a large portion about him in the book “Radical Remission” and he is featured in “Heal” as well.
· I brush my teeth with my less dominant hand once a day and then with my dominant hand the other two times.
o This helps stimulate parts of the brain that are not in use often. You can do this with many things, brushing your hair, using your less dominant foot in sports, washing your body with soap while showering.
· Drinking and eating out of glass vs. plastic. It’s having an effect on both men and women’s endocrine systems (hormones, fertility, etc…)
o https://www.plasticpollutioncoalition.org/pft/2017/7/26/new-endocrine-disrupting-chemicals-are-undermining-male-fertility
· This may sound like something so simple but it’s quite challenging: When moving/changing physical positions I am always present. For example, every time I sit, I tell myself I am sitting, every time I stand to walk, I tell myself I am standing. This helps me to bring my mind into a present state and focus less on the future or past.
o This was a recommendation during one of my guided meditations.
· Laughing, loving and hugging every day. This was a big take away for Lauren and I from reading the book Radical Remission. It’s important to laugh every day, love every day and receive and give hugs to people every day. I know, I know, it sounds crazy but it has worked on other folks, we practice it every day. We try to watch more comedies if we are going to watch a movie on the weekend, an easy way to incorporate laughter into your life.
· We recently added air purifiers into our home. I also have one in my office. We purchased the Molekule, but through research we found that the Air Doctor is another good option (and I believe also a little less expensive). Here is a discount code for $100 off a Molekule: MetroMD100
· IR Sauna (Infrared Saunas)
o These are great for detoxifying the body, especially after air travel. I go to Perspire (https://perspiresaunastudio.com/) here in Orange County.
· Epsom Salt Baths – Especially after air or any long car travel as well.
· Grounding/Earthing – Walk around barefoot on your backyard grass or anywhere there is a plot of “Earth”. Feel the grass between your toes or if you are at the beach, be aware of the sand between your toes. We are all energy and Earth contains energy, manifest the energy from the Earth into your body for increased healing, awareness, presence and mindfulness. I do this for about 10-15 minutes.
· Cold Showers (as cold as the shower can get) every morning and Ice Plunges. Look up the “Wim Hof Method”
o https://www.wimhofmethod.com/

Diet:
· For the past 6+ years we have followed a whole food plant-based diet (vegan without the junk food). Cancer cells feed off of Glucose (Sugar) firstly, but can also utilize glutamate as a second source of fuel (which is in all animal protein, land and sea). I have also cut out all artificial sugars from my diet. Dairy is also extremely inflammatory for your body and has been linked to cancer in many research studies.
· White Carbs and Gluten - We have eliminated these from our diet as much as we possibly can. Even for people who do not have a ‘gluten intolerance,’ gluten is very hard on the body’s digestive system. Excessive consumption can lead to a leaky gut, which causes toxins to seep out of the digestive tract into the body/blood making it hard for your immune system to work at its peak. Also, most gluten products have high levels of glyphosate, which they’ve linked to cancer. Glyphosate acts like an antibiotic to your gut (not in a good way), wiping out all of the beneficial gut flora which are there to keep your immune system working efficiently.
· Alkaline Foods and Water - Cancer cells cannot grow in an alkaline environment; we drink water with a PH level of 9.5. We recently invested in a Kangen water machine for our home. A level of 7 PH is balanced and anything below 7 is acidic. Cancer cells thrive in an acidic environment. Things that make your body acidic are alcohol, dairy, meat, processed and artificial sugars and gluten.
· I drink warm lemon water with apple cider vinegar every morning, which also helps alkalize the body and keep stomach acid levels at a great pH for food absorption.
· We practice intermittent fasting, which allows the body to not worry about processing food for a large portion of the day but rather allow its immune system to be working at its peak ability. We started out by only eating from 12 PM - 8 PM and are working toward 12 PM - 6 PM. Intermittent fasting is really important when taking Temodar (or any chemotherapy). It allows the body to protect the healthy cells while targeting cancer cells. There is so much research showing the benefits of intermittent fasting for cancer patients.
· This is a really interesting article citing a lot of different sources regarding a plant-based diet and fighting/preventing cancer:
o https://www.vivahealth.org.uk/veganhealth/dont-feed-cancer

Other Things to Research:
· Dr. Sebi – He is the doctor who put a full-page ad in the NY Post and was sued to take it down. When he went to his court hearing the judge asked him if he could prove that he healed anyone, and he furnished 70 patients of his that were healed by his treatment and the Judge declared “not guilty” on all the charges that were brought against him by the State of New York.
o The link below is a quick rundown of his life. I believe the pharmaceutical companies were heavily involved with his death in while he was imprisoned in Honduras.
o https://wakeup-world.com/2015/08/28/dr-sebi-the-man-who-cures-aids-cancer-diabetes-and-more/
· Radiation Stickers for your cell phone and laptop:
o https://www.amazon.com/Radiation-Protection-Labobbon-Household-Appliances/dp/B078SSD6QC
· We also try to use the ‘cleanest’ hygiene products we can find. There are many harmful chemicals in our everyday toothpastes, shampoos, deodorants, etc. Chemicals to avoid in hygiene products below:
o Shampoo – Sodium Lauryl Sulfate, Sodium Laureth Sulfate, basically any ‘sulfate,’ Parabens, Sodium Benzoate. Brands that we like are: 100% Pure, Acure, Alaffia
o Toothpaste – Sodium Lauryl Sulfate, Sodium Laureth Sulfate, basically any ‘sulfate’, fluoride, triclosan, DEA, Propylene Glycol, Microbeads. One of the worst toothpaste brands out there is Colgate. We use Himalaya Botanique & Nature’s Gate as well as Dr. Bronner’s All-In-One toothpaste.
o Deodorant – Aluminum, Parabens, Triclosan, DEA, Propylene Glycol. We have been testing out natural deodorants for years and our favorite (although not vegan) is from a company called Primally Pure. We’ve also started to use a brand called Joyous Organics with clean (and minimal) ingredients.
o A great website to reference for beauty product ingredients and their safety is https://www.ewg.org/
§ Skin Deep Database – This is where you will find clean products to put on your body.
· https://www.ewg.org/skindeep/

· The Clean Fifteen and Dirty Dozen
o The EWG, each year, comes out with an updated list of produce that we should be buying organic 100% of the time (Dirty Dozen), especially people like you and I who have had cancer. The Clean fifteen can be purchased conventionally if you can’t find them in an organic form and conventional is the only option
o https://www.ewg.org/foodnews/clean-fifteen.php
o https://www.ewg.org/foodnews/dirty-dozen.php

· The link below is a good read on Monsanto’s Glyphosate and the timeline for removal in home use:
o https://www.ewg.org/news-insights/news-release/2021/07/bayer-end-residential-sales-cancer-causing-weedkiller-glyphosate?utm_source=newsletter&utm_campaign=202108News&utm_medium=email&emci=9a939839-bef6-eb11-b563-501ac57b8fa7&emdi=4d3bfe91-dbf7-eb11-b563-501ac57b8fa7&ceid=2210188
These are things that we have done and have found to be successful so far with my body, and hopefully, they are helpful for you as well. I have also included some images below that show how damaging the effects of Wi-Fi radiation (and all of the radiation coming from electronics) can be.

https://www.patentlyapple.com/2024/06/nine-hmd-smartglasses-patents-published-today-cover-displays-optical-systems-infrared-coatings-for-gaze-tracking-systems.html
https://ppubs.uspto.gov/pubwebapp/
20240184117
Excerpt:
[0020] Display modules 20A may be liquid crystal displays, organic light-emitting diode displays, laser-based displays, or displays of other types. Display modules 20A may include light sources, emissive display panels, transmissive display panels that are illuminated with illumination light from light sources to produce image light, reflective display panels such as digital micromirror display (DMD) panels and/or liquid crystal on silicon (LCOS) display panels that are illuminated with illumination light from light sources to produce image light, etc. Display modules 20A may sometimes also be referred to herein as projectors 20A.
Today the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office officially published nine patent applications from Apple that covers a wide range of technologies relating to future smartglasses and both current and future Vision Pro technologies ranging from Optical Systems, Displays, Infrared coatings for gaze tracking systems and more. For those following Apple's HMD projects intently, there's a lot of material to review.
Optical Systems For Directing Display Module Light Into Waveguides
A display system may include a waveguide, an input coupler with a first surface relief grating (SRG), and an output coupler with a second SRG. A display module may produce image light that is coupled into the waveguide by the first SRG. The first SRG may have an input vector non-parallel with respect to a normal axis of the waveguide. The display module may have an optical axis tilted with respect to the input vector by a non-zero angle. A prism may redirect the image light from the module to the first SRG in a direction parallel to the input vector. The module may include lens elements with an optical axis offset with respect to the center of the field of the image light. This may cause the lens elements to output the image light in a direction parallel to the input vector of the first SRG.
2-Optical-System- Patent-Fig. 2 - Apple For details, review Apple's patent application 20240184117.
Infrared Coatings For Gaze Tracking Systems
Apple's patent application relates to a head-mounted device that may include near-eye displays and gaze tracking components to track a user's gaze. The head-mounted device may include an optical system, including a waveguide and optional lenses to guide images produced by display modules to an eye box. The gaze tracking components may include infrared emitters that emit infrared light toward the user's eyes and infrared sensors that detect infrared light that has been reflected from the user's eyes. To reduce interference with the gaze tracking components from environmental infrared light, the optical system may include an infrared-reflective coating and an infrared-absorptive coating. The infrared-reflective and infrared-absorptive coatings may be formed on the optional lenses or on other transparent structures in the optical system. Together, the infrared-reflective and infrared-absorptive coatings may reduce an amount of environmental infrared light that reaches the gaze tracking components and reduce a thermal load on internal components within the head-mounted device.
Apple's patent FIG. 2 below is a cross-sectional top view of an illustrative electronic device having display and gaze tracking capabilities.
3 Smartglasses-Optical-System
Apple's patent FIG. 4 above is a diagram of an illustrative optical module having a waveguide, first and second bias lenses, and infrared-absorptive and infrared-reflective coatings on one of the bias lenses.
Further to FIG. 4, Apple notes that Lens #34 may have a complementary power value (e.g., a positive power with a magnitude that matches the magnitude of the negative power of lens #32). For example, if lens #32 has a power of ?2.0 diopter, lens #34 may have an equal and opposite power of +2.0 diopter (as an example). In this type of arrangement, the positive power of lens #34 cancels the negative power of lens #32. As a result, the overall power of lenses #34 and #32 taken together will be 0 diopter. This allows a viewer to view real-world objects without optical influence from lenses #32 and #34. For example, a real-world object located far away from the smartglasses (device #10 - effectively at infinity), may be viewed as if lenses #32 and #34 were not present. Lens #32 may therefore sometimes be referred to herein as biasing lens #32 whereas lens #34 is sometimes referred to herein as compensation lens.
Some users may require vision correction. Vision correction may be provided using tunable lenses and/or fixed (e.g., removable) lenses (sometimes referred to as supplemental lenses, vision correction lenses, removable lenses, or clip-on lenses). For example, vision correction may be provided for a user who has astigmatism by adding a removable astigmatism correction lens to the display system.
Other vision correction lenses may also be used, if desired. In general, the vision correction lenses may include lenses to correct for ametropia (eyes with refractive errors) such as lenses to correct for nearsightedness (myopia), lenses to correct for farsightedness (hyperopia), and lenses to correct for astigmatism, prism lenses to correct for skewed vision, lenses to help accommodate age-related reductions in the range of accommodation exhibited by the eyes (sometimes referred to as presbyopia), and/or other vision disorders. Lens 32, lens 34, and/or additional lenses may be used to provide vision correction.
To review the full details of this invention, check out patent application 20240184118. The lead inventor is listed as Brian S. Lau, Product Design Engineer, Vision Products Group.
Other HMD (Headset and/or Smartglasses Patents
20240184122: Display System Circuitry
20240184120: Display System With Virtual Image Distance Adjustment And Corrective Lenses
20240187554: Head-Mounted Devices With Forward Facing Cameras

1. Smartglasses patent fig. 3

20240184329: Device With Light-Shielding Structure
20240184330: Devices With Adjustable Headbands
20240184116: Optical Systems For Mitigating Waveguide Non-Uniformity
20240184121: Device With A Removable Cushion
10.51FX - Patent Application Bar

It’s estimated that a third of U.S. adults have metabolic syndrome. This widespread health issue is characterized by a combination of high blood pressure, elevated blood sugar, excess body fat, and abnormal cholesterol and triglyceride levels.
Individuals with metabolic syndrome are at risk of developing severe health issues such as type 2 diabetes, coronary artery disease, heart attack, and stroke.
What is metabolic syndrome?
Also known as syndrome X or insulin resistance syndrome, metabolic syndrome occurs when a person simultaneously has at least three metabolic disorders.
These conditions include:

• Obesity
• Elevated blood pressure
• High blood sugar
• Abnormal cholesterol levels
• Increased blood triglyceride levels

Metabolic syndrome is a warning sign, signaling significant metabolic and hormonal imbalances and an increased risk of developing potentially life-threatening chronic conditions such as heart disease, type 2 diabetes, and cancer.

Symptoms of metabolic syndrome

In its early stages, there may not be noticeable symptoms that could indicate the underlying health conditions associated with metabolic syndrome. However, as metabolic imbalances worsen, increasingly more physiological functions can be disrupted. This explains why metabolic syndrome can present a wide range of signs and symptoms.
Here are common symptoms linked to metabolic syndrome.

• Persistent fatigue
• Energy crashes, especially after eating
• Difficulty concentrating
• Brain fog
• Bloating
• Water retention
• Rapid weight gain
• Belly fat
• Numbness or tingling in hands and feet
• Joint pain and stiffness
• Chronic inflammation
• Shortness of breath
• Sleep apnea and snoring

Diagnostic Criteria for Metabolic Syndrome

Unfortunately, symptoms related to metabolic disorders often remain undetected until these imbalances reach a critical stage. This highlights the importance of regular health screenings to evaluate metabolic health, which is crucial for the early detection and diagnosis of metabolic syndrome.
The National Heart, Lung, and Blood Institute published data outlining the value ranges of health markers used to assess metabolic health and diagnostic criteria for metabolic syndrome.
These values are considered normal and not indicative of metabolic syndrome:

• Blood pressure less than 120/80 mmHg (millimeters of mercury)
• Fasting blood glucose between 70 and 99 mg/dL (milligrams per deciliter)
• Triglyceride levels less than 150 mg/dL
• HDL (high-density lipoprotein) cholesterol at or above 60 mg/dL

Metabolic syndrome is diagnosed when three or more of the following conditions are present:

• Blood pressure consistently at or above 130/85 mmHg
• Fasting blood glucose higher than 100 mg/dL
• Triglyceride levels consistently above 150 mg/dL
• HDL cholesterol lower than 50 mg/dL for women and 40 mg/dL for men.

While routine tests evaluate LDL and HDL cholesterol, performing an advanced lipid profile to better understand the body’s cholesterol balance can be beneficial.
“The advanced lipid profile offers a more comprehensive understanding of an individual's cholesterol status by measuring both the small, dense LDL particles, which are considered dangerous, and the large, buoyant LDL particles, which are less harmful,” says Dr. Berg.
Causes of metabolic syndrome
While the precise causes are complex and not entirely defined, many experts agree that dietary and lifestyle choices play a significant role in the development of metabolic syndrome.
Research published in Current Vascular Pharmacology emphasizes this point, encouraging that when addressing metabolic disorders, “preventive healthcare should focus on changing lifestyle in order to reduce obesity and increase physical activity.”
Here are two of the primary causes associated with metabolic syndrome.
1. Poor dietary habits
A diet high in refined carbohydrates and sugars significantly affects metabolic health by increasing the body's demand for insulin.
Insulin is an essential hormone that stimulates various metabolic pathways and regulates energy storage.
Released in response to carbohydrate intake, insulin signals cells to absorb glucose. This enables cellular energy production, helps maintain blood sugar balance, and signals the liver to convert excess blood sugar into fatty acids for storage.
However, regularly consuming carbs and sugars can cause persistently high insulin levels. This can desensitize cells to insulin’s signaling and lead to elevated blood glucose levels, a core component of metabolic syndrome.
Over time, this insulin resistance can contribute to other conditions associated with metabolic syndrome, including high triglycerides, hypertension, and obesity.
2. Lack of physical activity
A sedentary lifestyle substantially raises the risk of metabolic syndrome.
Evidence published in Frontiers in Physiology shows that physical inactivity promotes the accumulation of visceral fat. This type of fat is associated with systemic inflammation, which is linked to insulin resistance and explains why overweight or obese individuals are at increased risk of metabolic syndrome.
This highlights the importance of engaging in regular physical activity as a powerful tool for preventing and managing metabolic disorders.
Research published in Frontiers in Endocrinology underscores this point and summarizes, "Physical activity represents a potent, non-pharmacological intervention delaying the onset of over 40 chronic metabolic and cardiovascular diseases.”
Risk factors for metabolic syndrome
Insulin resistance is believed to be the leading cause of all conditions associated with metabolic syndrome.
In addition to a sedentary lifestyle and poor dietary choices, various other factors can contribute to insulin resistance. Risk factors linked to insulin resistance and metabolic syndrome include:

• Obesity
• Alcohol consumption
• Ethnicity
• Chronic stress
• Poor sleep

Additionally, the risk of metabolic syndrome increases with age. This trend underscores the importance of proactive health measures early in life to reduce future complications.
According to data published by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), “prevalence of metabolic syndrome increased from about 10 percent among 18 to 29-year-olds in all race and ethnic groups to almost 70 percent among 70+-year-old adult females.”
5 ways to reduce the risk of metabolic syndrome
The majority of risk factors linked to metabolic syndrome can be mitigated by implementing beneficial dietary and lifestyle changes.
1. Limit carbohydrates and sugars
The common denominator of all conditions related to metabolic syndrome is insulin resistance, which is primarily influenced by diet. Adopting a diet optimized to support steady blood sugar and insulin levels, such as Healthy Keto®, can help prevent and potentially reverse insulin resistance and reduce the risk of metabolic syndrome.
2. Intermittent fasting
Intermittent fasting is an excellent strategy to reduce the risk of metabolic syndrome and promote overall health. Research published in Nutrients investigated the effects of intermittent fasting and found that it improved several metabolic markers, including body weight, glucose metabolism, lipid profile, and blood pressure.

3. Regular physical activity

Evidence published in Diabetologia emphasizes the powerful impact of exercise, stating, "Regular exercise and physical activity has a pronounced protective effect against metabolic disease." Their research found that just 150 minutes per week of moderate-to-vigorous physical activity decreases the risk of metabolic disorders by an impressive 30 percent. The benefits of consistent physical activity include improved insulin sensitivity and reduced storage of visceral and ectopic fat, critical factors in preventing and managing metabolic syndrome.
4. Avoid alcohol
Alcohol use is a well-known trigger of inflammation and has various harmful metabolic consequences.
A study published in Scientific Reports found that a significant proportion of individuals with alcohol use disorder display one or more of the diagnostic criteria for metabolic syndrome. Alcohol is linked to weight gain, insulin resistance, and elevated blood pressure, all of which increase the risk of metabolic syndrome.

5. Stress reduction

Engaging in practices such as stretching or deep breathing exercises can be an effective way to manage stress levels. Reducing chronic stress is critical as stress triggers the release of cortisol, a hormone that can exacerbate metabolic syndrome. Cortisol can contribute to elevated blood pressure, abdominal fat storage, poor blood sugar control, and insulin resistance.
Research published in Nature Reviews Endocrinology states, "Stress can affect features of metabolic dysfunction, such as insulin resistance, glucose, and lipid homeostasis."
How to start Healthy Keto® and intermittent fasting
One of the best ways to restore metabolic health and prevent metabolic syndrome is to adopt a low-carb diet and practice intermittent fasting. The Healthy Keto diet prioritizes eating whole foods, focusing on organic and non-GMO options whenever possible, while limiting carbohydrate intake.
By avoiding processed foods with harmful additives, refined carbs, and sugar, Healthy Keto promotes balanced blood sugar levels, which is crucial to preventing and managing insulin resistance and metabolic syndrome. Here’s how you can get started with Healthy Keto and intermittent fasting.

Calculate macronutrient needs

You can use this online keto calculator to determine your macronutrient needs. It’s recommended to obtain around 70 to 80 percent of your calories from healthy fats, 15 to 25 percent from high-quality protein, and 5 to 10 percent from fibrous carbohydrates such as low-glycemic vegetables and berries.
To maintain balanced blood sugar levels, it’s vital to limit your daily carbohydrate intake to no more than 50 grams of net carbs. Net carbs are calculated by subtracting the fiber content of a food from its total carb count.

Focus on nutrient-rich meals

Choose healthy fat sources, including avocado, unrefined coconut, and extra virgin olive oil, and avoid inflammatory fats such as vegetable oil, peanut oil, and seed oils. Focus on high-quality protein options such as grass-fed, pasture-raised, and wild-caught meats, oily fish, and full-fat dairy.
Aim for 7 to 10 cups of vegetables daily, choose organic produce, and opt for nutrient-dense vegetables such as dark leafy greens. Avoid sugar, grains, fruit, and starchy vegetables to prevent blood sugar spikes and insulin imbalances, which cause perpetual food cravings, hunger, and fatigue.
In addition, starting your meals with vegetables or salad promotes digestive functions and helps buffer potential insulin spikes after eating. Those new to keto may benefit from planning a week of keto-friendly meals to avoid uncertainty or temptation that could derail your diet goals.

The best type of intermittent fasting for beginners

There are many types of intermittent fasting, such as OMAD (one meal a day), alternate-day fasting, and time-restrictive eating. Time-restrictive eating involves cycling between fasting periods and eating windows and is the ideal fast for beginners.
It's recommended to follow the 18:6 fasting pattern, characterized by abstaining from food for 18 hours and eating during a six-hour window.
”During periods of caloric restriction, the body is forced to burn stored body fat to generate energy. This explains why fasting is a highly effective weight-loss strategy,” says Dr. Berg.
How to start 18:6 intermittent fasting
To get started with 18:6 fasting, choose a six-hour eating window. Most people skip breakfast and start their fast after an early dinner, which helps achieve an 18-hour fast. During the fast, consume zero-calorie beverages such as water, herbal tea, and black coffee. In addition, using a zero-sugar electrolyte powder can help boost energy levels and keep you hydrated.
Experiment with adding grass-fed butter or MCT oil to your coffee to keep you satiated until your fast is over. Combining intermittent fasting with Healthy Keto can maximize the metabolic health benefits of caloric restriction by promoting fat-burning during your eating window.
It’s also crucial to avoid snacking in between meals. If you're still hungry after eating, add more healthy fats your meals to promote satiety and curb cravings.
Fasting is generally considered safe for most adults. However, consult a healthcare professional for personalized advice before starting any new fasting regimen, especially if you have underlying health conditions or are taking medications.

The grey streaks began to turn to pinpricks of light, and a massive grey shape in the distance. As she watched, the titanic form of Thermopylae station resolved into her vision. She never thought she’d be seeing it again this soon. Vicky hefted her bag on her shoulder, feeling the Star of Terra bouncing against her uniform as she moved. It was very odd, the way people had reacted to her the last few days. Most seemed in complete awe of her, some called out to her by name. She had given polite nods, but she felt odd regardless. Most times when she was among the rank and file no one even glanced her way besides the men who thought she was attractive and, well, the women too. She just wasn’t used to being… This. As she made her way through the transport the other crew and servicemen parted for her like a wave. It got quiet when she grew near. Some people had even taken pictures of her as she passed.
“They’ll never believe I saw Victoria Brandy!” She had heard more than one person say, in different wording, too many times to count. She had been taken onboard two different ships, first the Secretary, then the Drake, and both times she had immediately been requested to report to the captain’s quarters, where praise had been heaped on her without end. It was getting old, fast, and extremely uncomfortable. She wasn’t a glory hound. If she was she wouldn’t have volunteered to fly a Drone Cutter in the first place. God alone knows how many of her flight instructors wanted her in a fighter, and she had lost count of the amount of times she had been told that she was hurting her own career. She had been fine with that, especially once she had met Jess and Kukat. For the sixth time that day she felt the soul crushing want to see her crew again, and she wondered how they were coping with this change. Both of them had been given battlefield commissions. Both of them were serving as sensor operators. She had been given her own promotion, and she hated the weight of it.
She came to the door and waited, not wanting to even see the station. Most definitely she did not want to turn around and catch anyone else fawning over her. She had had more than enough of that as well. She stood there and drifted in her own mind, remembering clutching onto Jess before boarding her transport, how Kukat had made a soft sound in her throat and how Jess had broken down into tears. What she remembered more than anything was how everyone had just been standing there, watching them. They had actually clapped when the three of them said goodbye to each other. Vicky, Jess, and Kukat, where once they were almost inseparable, were now going to be light years apart. She felt like crying all over again. For two years she had turned down promotions until this one had been forced on her, but there was nothing she could do about it now. She heard an automated voice, and braced herself for the bone vibrating chill of passing through the shield wall of the station, but it never came. For the first time she looked around, then glanced to the side, looking back at the viewport. Thermopylae’s shields, shields that had been raised for as long as the station itself had actually existed, were down. Something about that in and of itself felt completely alien to her, but then she faced forwards again. All she asked for right now was to report to the station, and not to have a big deal thrown about her arrival.
When the doors opened she knew she should have seen it coming. Flashes bombarded her from every angle even as the ramp was being lowered. Cameras were pointed her way, bright lights were shining on her from recorders, from journalists and reporters being held back by an armed security detail. She wanted to crawl away from the lights, but she merely began walking down the ramp. She was so blinded by the lights she almost ran into the man waiting for her at the end of it. She recovered just before she barged headlong into him, in fact the only thing that stopped her was seeing the vice admiral stripes on his shoulder, and the shadow of him cast by the lights.
“Commander Brandy.” The vice admiral said, leaning close over calls for her name. “Welcome to Thermopylae.”
She let her bag fall and saluted, knowing this song and dance far too well at this point from having been subjected to it so many times. “Permission to come aboard.”
“Granted.” He said, then he leaned down and picked up her bag before she could. “I am Vice Admiral Renald, second in command of Thermopylae.” He motioned towards a distant hanger door, then began walking, and Vicky immediately started keeping stride with him. She noticed he was leading her away from the cameras. “How was the trip from the front?” He asked politely.
“It went well.” She replied, keeping her eyes a bit to the ground. Once again the whispers, the looks. Renald didn’t reply, in fact, suddenly Victoria found herself keeping a brisker pace through the hanger with him. She heard several calls to ‘make a hole’ to give them room to move through, and when the doors opened to the station proper Victoria didn’t look up. She missed the zero g cockpit of the Thumper, she missed the quiet of her own thoughts when she was not on it. Subconsciously she followed the admiral’s stride, not even noticing a slight gravity change that marked a different hull she was now in. She followed the admiral’s pace through a turn, then suddenly she realized that the whispers had stopped. She looked up to find herself and the Admiral walking through an empty passage. Her shoulders almost instantly deflated, and for a moment she carried on walking, even though Renald had stopped. She looked back at him and was surprised to see the look of compassion on his face, and caught her bag as he tossed it to her.
“It’s a lot isn’t it.” He said, putting his hands on his hips and looking at her as she shouldered her pack. She only nodded in reply. She didn’t know what to say, she didn’t even know if it was ok to talk, if she was ok to talk. A rush of emotions ran at her all at once. She had barely been alone for six days. Renald waited for a few moments, then he nodded to her. She almost deflated at that moment, her shoulders sagging, and she let the weight of the last week show. She finally looked at him, and his grin was genuine, “Welcome to being a hero of the Terran Front commander.”
“With all due respect sir, the cameras are a bit much.” She said, and he laughed.
“Well, don’t worry about that garbage from here on out. Part of having your face on every broadcast in the last week means that you get the special treatment.” He said, and he motioning to the stencil on the wall. The markings of United Earth Service number 55203 was fresh and maintained, the ship name that had become part of Thermopylae underneath, the Anapolis. “This section of Thermopylae was emptied out two days ago, the crew of the Lexington was sent ship side, so you’ve got most of it to yourself. Your quarters are down there.” He pointed to the end of the hall. “Open door to the left. The Quarrel is going to be here in a few days.” He put his hand back on his hip and looked to her. “Officially as of now you are on administrative leave for three days. I heard you were cooped up in a medical ward since the Battle of the Sands.”
Vicky raised an eyebrow, “The Battle of the Sands?”
Renald shrugged his shoulders, “Something about the planet in the system, how it was just a desert. Some journalist said it and it’s kind of stuck now.” He motioned towards her room with his chin. “Anyhow you’ll have some privacy, your station has a few numbers on it if you need something. Food, new linens, a few ground pounders to toss out anyone with a camera…” He turned and started walking away. She smiled at his back.
“Thank you!” She called out, but he only raised a hand and gave a slight wave. She turned, and for the first time since her crew had left the medical ward of the Barrowmore, she heard the quiet. The only sound was a pleasant hum of the power conduits. Compared to the noise, the whispers, and the looks, the silence was a godsend. She turned and headed back to towards her temporary quarters. As she stepped through the door, she was greeted by soft earth tones. The stark white of the passageway was a distinct and almost jarring comparison. The walls were a warm beige, the room spacious, more spacious than her old quarters on the Vellacore by a half. The bed was large, the sheets and pillowcase beige like the walls while a thick comforter was a dark brown. She immediately saw the panel by the desk, almost laid out in dark brown. She was reminded of an old adage she had heard, ‘Rank has it’s Privileges.’ Well, she didn’t know what to do with all of this privilege. As she stepped through the door she touched the panel on the wall, closing the old model sliding door with a button. She came to a stark realization, that this was actually crew quarters, not even officer quarters. The sheets and other accessories of the room, they were relics too or at the very least faithful recreations, from a time before humanity had been forced to sacrifice comforts for survival. She put her pack on the desk, then looked around the room. She walked up to the bed, unbuttoning her uniform top. She couldn’t ever remember having a bed this size. She saw a wall hunger, and hung up her top, then she sat down on the bed. A few moments later she was under the thick comforter, fast asleep.
When she woke up her eyes flew open and she threw herself out of the bed. She grabbed her shoes and began shoving them on her feet, when suddenly she remembered that right now she didn’t have any place to be. She let her shoes go back to their place on the floor. For a moment, she just stared at the walls of the room. Then, without another word, she reached over to a panel beside the bed and tapped the light control, then slowly lowered the light level. Seconds later her head hit the pillow, and she stared at the darkness over her. The last thoughts before sleep took her again were of Jess and Kukat, and drifting in zero g, somewhere between the stars.
Ten jumps away, another person who shared her last name, eyes, and hair stood at stock still attention. Vince Brandy didn’t know why the Ghouls had been assigned this honor guard detail, but at least it came with cake. After seeing the barraki, he was shocked it wasn’t carrot cake. Seriously, they looked just like rabbits. Five foot tall, hippity hoppity rabbits, with longer fingers on the paws and little thumbs. The Field Marshal had all of the ship boarders, probably because they had nothing better to do, on display in front of the shuttle. When the barraki leader got off of it he had nearly broke military bearing. Sure the chua looked like smart geckos, but if you put a picture of a gecko and a chua side by side you’d notice immediate differences. The turinika looked like really big flamingos when you got right down to it, and from what he’d seen of the shesvie they looked like a cross between an eagle and a big cat, like something Janet had called a gryphon if you made one look really smart. The barraki though? They were just straight up rabbits! Their nose even did the little thing that made it wrinkle. They stood like rabbits, used their front legs to brace them…. Oh hell did he just see one hopping? Very quickly Barraki Order was becoming Bunny Order in his mind.
As Simmons and their leader exchanged greetings the barraki’s ears perked up and then flattened again, and Brandy pursed his lips. The two began moving through the honor guard, heading towards the bridge. Brandy remained at attention, even as other large, long eared barraki came out of the shuttle and quite literally hopped after their leader. It seemed like it took a year from them all to clear out, even longer for the call for dismissal, and as Brandy relaxed his shoulders he looked to his left to Jessup. “Ok. Tell me you sa…”
“... Dude they’re rabbits.” Jessup said, looking side eyed at him. “Like, just flat out rabbits.”
Brandy furrowed his brow, “Like… The chua…”
“... They look like geckos. I know. But these guys are just straight up rabbits. It’s uncanny.” Jessup shook his head, “I damn near did a double take.”
“They might look like rabbits, but I’ll tell you this, their sensor and communications systems are no joke.” Another voice chimed in, which made both Brandy and Jessup turn. Someone from the Grave Diggers by the patch on their arm, “They can pick up anything, and I mean anything. At least that’s the rumor.”
“Sure you’re not talking about the ears?” Brandy said, and the two men grinned at him.
“Well considering the ears I guess it’s no surprise they found out about the turnika before us.” The Grave Digger said, “Although if they were to be spe…”
“Wait wait wait, but about the turinika?” Brandy interrupted the Grave Digger. “We haven’t heard anything.” The Grave Digger raised his eyebrow and then he smirked.
“Civil war.”

I have a 2011 v6 Camaro and was wondering if I should straight pipe it or run a cat back system. If I get a cat back what specific type should I get? I know there's of couple of different kits, but I'm just wondering what would sound the best.