Ftv girl password

I was about 2 days in and relapsed. I know days don't really matter I just need help. May you guys pray for me? I also need advice. I almost always use the same prayer when I relapse. I have never been good at prayer and Would like you guys to give me advice on what I should say. I Really am trying to use these mistakes as good, and turn it into a better relationship with God. I just need to focus, because winning the battle within myself is the biggest battle there is. May you please pray for me? (My name is Max) I am trying to just stop thinking about this stuff and focus on the girl I find cute. I know I shouldn't try and tempt myself with women and stuff, but women can also be a good motivation. I can try and say to myself what would she think of me if she found out about me masturbating and stuff. Anyway I would love for you guys to pray for me and give me advice. I've been trying to delete social media such as Reddit itself (but I don't know the password and or email so I am basically stuck for now) I don't really get tempted on Reddit though anyway) Then there is snapchat, I have already deleted that and it should be permanently deleted soon. I know I have made some serious progress from when I started 4 years ago. I am now 19 turning 20. I know I have gone through these 4 years of struggle and temptation, but now I need to overcome these for God. I need to put my life fourth for God and God alone.

Me (17 F) and my ex-boyfriend (17 M) have been apart for almost exactly a year. He broke up with me May 7th, 2023. We were together for three years and we began dating in middle school at the end of 7th grade year. It was good until it wasn’t. He had a girl best friend (17 F, 15 F at the time) who went against my trust every chance she got. She would do the average “pick me” girl tactics on him and he didn’t really seem to pick up on them despite me expressing my concerns. One day she went too far and added me and my ex-boyfriend to a private snapchat story with roughly 200-300 people in it. There, she posted a bikini photo where everything was showing except for her nipples and butthole. When I say everything—I mean everything. Now, I know he saw this photo because I had his Snapchat login. We both had each others passwords, but it didn’t really matter for him because he wasn’t allowed to have any social media apps other than Snapchat. Anyway, he had seen the photo hours before I did and when I confronted him about it he said “I saw it and clicked away because I saw that it wasn’t you, so I didn’t want to see it”. Right. So after that entire thing went down, his friend group resented me and said I “didn’t want my ex and this girl to be friends only based on the idea of my ex having female friends”. I didn’t care if he had female friends, I cared that his only female friend was putting her ‘nudes’ on display for him. When we broke up, he ghosted me for 3 days before sending me a lengthy text that can be summed up to: “I lost my spark with you a year ago when I couldn’t be friends with her. We don’t work anymore, you’re too dictatorial. I’ve talked to my family and they’ve told me that I’m not totally crazy for thinking this way.” Some extra context: he’s in love with his mom, and she’s in love with him. She keeps his foreskin in a bag in their basement. At one point his mom started ignoring me after I asked for shelter from my abusive father who was threatening to go against my restraining order and come to my new house (which they refused to give me). I also guarantee she could hear my ex-boyfriend SA-ing me in his room—his house wasn’t big enough for that to be private. Even after all of that, I think about him. I don’t understand why and I want it to stop. It’s been a year, how much longer do I have to wait it out? I have a new boyfriend who I love very much. It’s not fair to him.

I’ve been with my boyfriend for a little over a year. He is 26 and I am 24. Just a warning you are going to read this post and say “just leave, you are so stupid”. I know this is my fault now. I guess I just need to vent and I need help.
As usual, it’s started off amazing. Traveled together, had fun, always doing something. I never felt love like I did until I met him.
Looking back there were red flags in the beginning that I should have stopped the relationship. Like he went through my phone and logged into my bumble within 2 weeks of knowing each other. Also earlier on, our first argument (I wanna say 3 months) he downloaded bumble and was talking to girls. This would become a habit.
Things were great from then until about 6 months together. I should have left then too. Maybe it wasn’t great but it sure seemed like it compared to my previous relationships.
These are some of the things that have happened since then and I’ve STAYED.
-started doing cocaine (it is an addiction now) -stole money from me multiple times. -sold my tv -he got into my face so I pushed him (yes I should not have touched him) and he threw me at the bath and broke my rib while I had Covid. He then laughed at me when I gasped for air lol. -we got into an argument because, can’t even tell you about what it was probably minor, while he was driving while I had been drinking. He got out of the car in the middle of a roundabout so I moved the car and hit someone. I got a dui. I can’t really blame him because I could have not moved the car. -cheated on me while I was in jail for the dui -went on bumble every fight we’ve had -screamed at me in front of his mom and my family while visiting -goes through my phone everyday including all my friends and families messages -would not give him my laptop password because I honestly knew he was gonna go through all of my old messages and he kept me up all night, pulled the covers off of me, screamed at me, packed all of my stuff, unlocked the door I locked myself in and stood there looking at me with the knife and then finally picked me up by my neck and threw me at the wall and kept me there while I could not breathe. -my best friends boyfriend and father of her children passed away so I went there for the weekend (it’s a state away)and he went through my laptop all night calling me a whore and names saying I’ve cheated, sending screenshots of them to our friends. He blew my phone up for 3 days and wouldn’t stop. These messages were from BEFORE we were dating. I should have been there comforting my friend. Her fckn boyfriend died. -when I got back home after that I looked through his phone and come to find out he was messaging girls since the moment I left inviting them over to our apartment and asking if they wanna do blow with him. -he broke the door down off the hinges to get to his phone. -he laughs hysterically like a clown when we’re fighting and it’s creepy. -everything is my fault. If I defend myself he will literally not listen to me. -he takes everything as an attack if I tell him I don’t like something he thinks I’m critical -he hits the dogs and the cops came while I was at work because of an animal abuse call. No I don’t let him. I love my dogs more than anything. How can I sit there and stay with someone who does this? -Every time I try to leave he throws the stuff I’m packing so I have to restart and physically restrains me -calls me ugly, stupid, dumb, saying no wonder everyone leaves me
He’s done so much more than that too but I can’t even think.
I have filed a police report on him for the theft and abuse.
And I know I’m not innocent. I participate in all of this. I have picked up on behaviors and my insecurities have started to drive me literally insane. I’m constantly scared he’s gonna leave or cheat again. I’m scared to go places without him in fear of him moving on. I play into this absolute insanity.
The sad thing is, I love him? Through all of this I love him. There’s so many good times together even still (when he’s not on drugs). I would miss his face, I would miss talking to him, his smile, his kisses. I can’t imagine driving home and not telling him I’m on my way. I can’t imagine him with someone else like it would kill me. I’ve never belly laughed the way I do with him. I think of our memories and who we used to be constantly. All of the what 3 months of good?
I’ve left twice while he was at work, and I felt so much worse that each time I went back.
I fantasize about leaving him and becoming who I used to be but when I finally get the chance, I stay?
I literally have nobody. My friends and family won’t talk to me anymore. I’ve pushed everyone away because they don’t want to deal with it and really I can’t blame them. Who wants to watch someone they care about go through this? Someone who knows and still stays?
I’ve ruined myself being in this relationship. I am in so much debt from covering up his bills, the dui, the money he steals. I am depressed. I am miserable. I walk on egg shells daily. I had so much money when we met. I was happier.
We are supposed to move on Wednesday. I have the chance to move to my grandmas and escape. It should be an easy decision. Why is it not? Am I this insecure?
What sane person stays through this? What is seriously wrong with me?
How much more do I have to go through before I leave?
Go ahead and call me stupid. I know. Maybe I need to hear it from an outside perspective. Maybe I need that.
I just need help. Has anyone been through this? What do I do? I know what I need to do but how? How did you do this?

I'm (25F) married to my husband (29M) for 6 years now. The last few years weren't the best honestly. We have 2 kids together. Lately, I feel like he doesn't want to be husband or a father. He comes home 1-2 times a month (he works long hauls). The kids i've been raising the past 2-3 years all alone, household duties, you name it, i do it. Hands down, I did every sacrifice I can to save this marriage. Whatever he said, I obeyed. No social media whatsoever? Fine. No friends or social life? Fine. Only long sleeves and loose clothing? Fine. No putting on makeup or perfume? Fine. No going out without permission? Fine. You name it, I did it, out of respect for my husband. Me and his family get along perfect.
He has every social media, and i'm blocked on every one of it. He doesnt want me to see what he is doing on there. He has never stated he's married in his socials, for the past 6 years. Lately, I've caught him texting and searching other girls, mostly naked. He tells me it's not cheating because he isn't romantic. He has changed his passwords for both of his phones to 6 digit. He tells me watching naked girls isn't cheating. He screams when I ask to just see it or use it. I know he is cheating but despite many times of me telling him we have 2 kids, either divorce me or act right, it did not help or change anything. He doesnt sleep around, but that's not the only form of cheating.
I have tried to divorce him few months ago and he said he wil kill himself if I leave. Now skip to today... He has blocked me everywhere and hasnt tried to contact me or the kids for over a week. All because I held him accountable for "cheating". Few weeks ago he did the same No contact for over a week, because I was "online" at 3am on a messaging app. He was accusing me of cheating basically, when in reality my little one was having a fever and I was up all night. I can't fathom not checking up on your own kids for over a week, hearing their voices or seeing their faces. Throughout both pregnancies he has never attended ANY appointments. His family says Men are men and as long as he provides financially, the rest is taken care of by the woman. It gets very lonely living life separately while married. Especially when he made me cut off everyone, I have nobody but him.
He has also been getting physical, hitting the doors, smashing the walls. Everything in front of the kids. I ask him to have a simple convo without the kid's watching and he blames me for his tantrums. I don't get any form of love from him, he says he's working for us and I should be grateful. Never once did I get a "Thank you" for any sacrifice I did or for any work I've put in as a wife or a mother.
Hes a good person, very outgoing, very social, very caring. It's heartbreaking to say he isn't a good husband or a good father.
For context, our marriage was arranged. He fell in love with me and asked for my hand.
I don't know what to do.. I have let it slide many times within the past 6 years, letting it slide again definitely won't change a thing. He thinks there's nothing wrong with this marriage and I'm just asking for a lot. I dont even have any communication with this man to ask for anything. He blocks me the second I start a conversation he isn't interested in these past months. Divorce would be "out of the blue" for him. I have 2 kids and I don't want them to be raised without a father but that seems very difficult lately. Any advice?

I'm (25F) married to my husband (29M) for 6 years now. The last few years weren't the best honestly. We have 2 kids together. Lately, I feel like he doesn't want to be husband or a father. He comes home 1-2 times a month (he works long hauls). The kids i've been raising the past 2-3 years all alone, household duties, you name it, i do it. Hands down, I did every sacrifice I can to save this marriage. Whatever he said, I obeyed. No social media whatsoever? Fine. No friends or social life? Fine. Only long sleeves and loose clothing? Fine. No putting on makeup or perfume? Fine. You name it, I did it, out of respect for my husband.
He has every social media, and i'm blocked on every one of it. He doesnt want me to see what he is doing on there. He has never stated he's married in his socials, for the past 6 years. Lately, I've caught him texting and searching other girls, mostly naked. He tells me it's not cheating because he isn't romantic. He has changed his passwords for both of his phones to 6 digit. He tells me watching naked girls isn't cheating. He screams when I ask to just see it or use it. I know he is cheating but despite many times of me telling him we have 2 kids, either divorce me or act right, it did not help or change anything. He doesnt sleep around, but that's not the only form of cheating.
I have tried to divorce him few months ago and he said he wil kill himself if I leave. Now skip to today... He has blocked me everywhere and hasnt tried to contact me or the kids for over a week. All because I held him accountable for "cheating". Few weeks ago he did the same No contact for over a week, because I was "online" at 3am on a messaging app. He was accusing me of cheating basically, when in reality my little one was having a fever and I was up all night. I can't fathom not checking up on your own kids for over a week, hearing their voices or seeing their faces. Throughout both pregnancies he has never attended ANY appointments. His family says Men are men and as long as he provides financially, the rest is taken care of by the woman. It gets very lonely living life separately while married. Especially when he made me cut off everyone, I have nobody but him.
He has also been getting physical, hitting the doors, smashing the walls. Everything in front of the kids. I ask him to have a simple convo without the kid's watching and he blames me for his tantrums. I don't get any form of love from him, he says he's working for us and I should be grateful. Never once did I get a "Thank you" for any sacrifice I did or for any work I've put in as a wife or a mother.
Hes a good person, very outgoing, very social, very caring. It's heartbreaking to say he isn't a good husband or a good father.
For context, our marriage was arranged. He fell in love with me and asked for my hand.
I don't know what to do.. I have let it slide many times within the past 6 years, letting it slide again definitely won't change a thing. He thinks there's nothing wrong with this marriage and I'm just asking for a lot. I dont even have any communication with this man to ask for anything. He blocks me the second I start a conversation he isn't interested in these past months. Divorce would be "out of the blue" for him. I have 2 kids and I don't want them to be raised without a father but that seems very difficult lately. Any advice?

My gf and I are in our first relationship and when we first started dating i kept asking if this guy "Jake" she has liked for 5 years and is from her hometown was going to be an issue. She assured me he wouldn't be an issue but then i told her at some point that I felt uncomfortable with her consistently talking to a guy she has liked long term whether it was friendly or not. She agreed and texted him that she wouldn't be speaking to him like that anymore since it made me uncomfortable. I never asked her to do this, but I appreciated it because it showed she valued our relationship.
Fast forward a couple months and i know her ipad password and would watch youtube on her device once my computer died. I ended up getting curious and reading her DMs. She had been talking to Jake but only 5 messages appeared and it was obvious the history of the chat had been deleted. I thought it was weird, took photos as receipts and moved on. I also discovered that she had not told me about seeing him before he went abroad I have been checking every now and then ever since and everytime she has been talking to him - whether that is DMs, imessage, or FaceTime. On my birthday, she was showing me her camera roll and I saw a screenshot from when she was on facetime with him. I kept silent and took a mental note, 3 minutes later she tried explaining the screenshot I saw and said she was (on FT) talking to a girl friend about it. I asked her why she would lie to me straight to my face about that especially since she brought it up and she started crying. She claimed it was so I didn't feel "sad/disappointed" on my birthday but I obviously told her it's worse that she straight up lied to me. I move on once again and I try to look past it.
I once again look at their DMs and she is still messaging and deleting their chats. She is such a sweet girl (I think) and I genuinely don't know how she could be doing this with bad intentions. yet it goes completely against what she said - that she wouldn't speak to him. What should I do, am I making a mistake?

My boyfriend and I have been dating for a year. He is great and really loves me and cares about me. We definitely have our fights, like any other couple, but the love we have for each other is very real and I definitely see a future with us.
He has two main friend groups. One that I really like, most of them have girlfriends, but I like them for other reasons. They are very genuine guys and have been in his life since high school. The other group of friends I don’t really care for. They seem to only talk about girls (they are all single) but they talk about girls in a disgusting and demeaning way. He is apart of this group chat with them where they only send videos of random girls they find in public they think are hot, and then proceed to make gross comments about it. I found the group chat on his phone when he was asking me to look for a picture on his snapchat memories (we have no problem with holding each others phones/passwords) and I did scroll into it a little bit. He never says anything in it but I think it’s really gross that he would even be apart of it.
I asked him how he would feel if I was apart of a group chat where my friends and I purely sent videos of random guys in public we thought were attractive and he agreed he wouldn’t like it. He also said what he thinks they do is wrong and that he would leave the chat but I don’t want to be controlling because these are his friends and they must have some redeeming qualities (i hope).
What do i do?

TLD is it worth it to take care of terrible kids once in a while for insanely good pay?
My aunt's CEO is lookg for a babysitter just to go on date nights and stuff. My aunt told me about it cause its a great opportunity for money. He is offering an excessive amount- like over $100 an hour easy. He got his sister a burkin bag for 2 nights of taking care of his kids. My aunt warned me they have run through babysitters and they have been kicked of care.com. They have two kids a 9 year old girl who she said seems easy enough and an 11 year old boy who is horrible. He's been expelled from more than one school- most recently for bullying and being racist to couple twin 1st graders for being korean and adopted. When he's been suspended he's come into the office and starts trying to get people to open company phones for him and give him wifi passwords and yelled at his dads assistant to order him food and then when the assistant ordered food for the office at his father's behest got mad about what was ordered.
I have a regular family that I adore that I am in no way planning on leaving. I make $20 an hour, been with them for a year and a half and the mom is super appreciative and the kids are amazing. I miss them so much right now cause they are out of town.
Since they were out of town I just helped with a family for a week with a 13 yr old that wasn't that different than how this 11 yr old sounds- for way less money. I don't intend to work with that family again cause the commute was insane, the family calendar was incorrect multiple times, and the pay was not worth it with the 13 yr old who I had physically carry out of a grocery store after he threw himself to ground kicking and screaming cause I wouldn't let him ram his sister with a cart (just one instance of his behavior I dealt with all week).

Hey, sorry for longer post but please read it...
So, my boyfriend kinda ended things with me week and a half ago and I don't know how to cope with this. I didn't expect it and that's why I'm even more heartbroken. Literally the day before everything was fine, he didn't show any signs that something was wrong.
A little backstory: I (24F) and my boyfriend (30M) have been together for just over 3 and a half years. Our relationship is somewhat long-distance; we mostly see each other on weekends and more often over the summer (I study and work in another city). We love each other very much and had often planned a family and a life together. A week ago, we talked about where we would move in together once I move back after finishing my studies.
Yesterday we met, and everything was semi-okay, he was quite hungover since we went out the night before. Out of the blue, he asked me, "Why don't you break up with me?" to which I just looked at him strangely and asked why I would. The conversation continued and he told me how he doesn't love himself and how he has been unhappy all his life, aware that it's his own fault, and that he doesn’t want us to have this conversation in 5 years when things will be different and he will be even worse, and he doesn't want to ruin my life. I told him I loved him more than anything in the world and that he means the world to me. He then told me that it somewhat bothers him, how much I love him, but that he can't love himself and hates himself.
I was shocked, I asked him how he feels about me, and he told me he loves me more than anything in the world, respects me, and that besides being his girlfriend, I am also his best friend. At this point, I started crying and couldn't understand why he was leaving me if he loves me. He told me that he wants the best possible life for me, which he probably can't provide because the problem is always with him and everything wrong he does and the reason for his unhappiness is himself.
I asked him if it was about another girl or something similar, and he said it wasn't, that he doesn't want anyone else but me, and that he would rather be alone than with someone else.
I asked him why he can talk about a shared life, family, and how much he loves me one day, and break up with me the next day. I asked him if he was happy with me. He then told me that I am his only happiness in life, to which I said that I think this is a mistake, that I want him to wake up in the morning and write to me that he was wrong and regrets it. He then told me he can confirm that now, that he doesn't need to wait until morning.
I continued to express my feelings, and he started to cry. It was evident that the whole process was hard for him, he held my hand, and I don't know... He told me we would talk again over the weekend, to which I asked what we would talk about. He answered: I don't know, we'll watch a movie and fall asleep together. He asked me to see him that Friday.
Also, we had planned a trip at the end of May since I bought him tickets for his favorite band's concert for his birthday.
On Friday when we saw each other, I told him everything I feel for him and asked him not to interrupt my monologue. I mentioned how happy I saw him when we were on our trip, even though it was just one - here he interrupted me and said, 'we will go on more of them.' When I finished my monologue, the first thing he said was 'We will get married and have 6 kids, but not yet.' He thinks that we need to be best friends for now, stay in touch. I asked him when we will be together again, and he replied, 'When you can live without me and when you will be mentally independent of me.' What does that mean? We agreed to go on the trip we had already planned together.
Moreover, he asked me to work together on a project because he trusts no one but me to do the job well and wants ME to earn that money, not someone else.
On Saturday, he said he wanted to see me again. He picked me up and took me out for dinner. I asked him if this was a date or what? He told me it was a casual dinner, but again - he took me out to dinner!
It was very nice and we talked a lot… He also asked me if I wanted to get YouTube Premium with him and his cousin, to which I answered, 'Can we get Spotify instead?' He responded, 'I have both. Do you want to go in on Spotify Premium Duo with me?' I responded positively. He said that I don't have to pay anything, that he'll handle all the payments despite us both using it. He also said that he'll get Amazon Prime next month and he'll give me the password if I want to watch At the end of our meeting, I initiated a kiss - he accepted it.
And if you're wondering—no, we're not sleeping together. I suggested it to him a few times out of curiosity to see if he would agree, in the sense of whether this is now a 'breakup,' but he still wants an 'easier way.' He didn't want to; he told me it would be 'wrong' of him because it would probably turn out that he was just using me, whereas he actually wants to give me love. Moreover, he doesn't have anyone and hasn't been with anyone during this period of separation, and his friends have told me that he only talks about me.
He is still wearing the bracelet I got him for our anniversary last year. We are still in contact, mostly about some business we are working on together. Also, last Monday I found out the date of my graduation and I called him to tell him that because two weeks before, we were talking about it and he asked me what kind of flowers he should get me. I said to him that no matter the situation we are currently in, I want him on my graduation day. I told him that I would really like him to attend. He started to get a bit frustrated on the phone, kind of mad in some way, and told me that he probably will not attend. I asked him why. He answered because of the situation we are currently in. Then he told me that I could have written him that in a message instead of calling him because he's very busy. I hung up the phone and was really sad about it, and then I threw the phone away. Later, I picked the phone up again and saw that he had actually texted me about three minutes after our call: 'I'm truly sorry, I've had a really bad day, I'll be there I guess.' So, he is the person who NEVER apologizes after a phone argument; even in a face-to-face argument, he is the one that rarely apologizes.
We saw each other this Saturday; it was nice, we talked about everything, but not about us... at the end of the evening, we just hugged and he gave me a kiss on the forehead.
My friend told me that she thinks he is currently in a phase where he has realized that he hasn't achieved everything he wanted in life and is afraid that he won't be able to provide everything I want. That he doesn't want to end our relationship, but that he is unsure of himself.
Please, I just need advice from someone who has been in my boyfriend's position to help me understand why someone who wants to marry me is struggling so badly with themselves that they don't want to be with me?
How to make things up?
TL;DR: My boyfriend of over three years broke up with me unexpectedly, citing his struggles with self-love and unhappiness, despite still loving me deeply. He insists on remaining "best friends" for now and talks of future plans together ambiguously. We're still connected through work and shared plans, but his inconsistency and the recent break-up have left me confused and hoping for reconciliation.

I’m a 16 year old girl and when I was around 10 years old I used to have social media accounts such as instagram and facebook. I used to post many thing in there which I find really cringe now. My friends apparently found those accounts and are making fun of me. I really want to delete those accounts but the thing is I no longer have access to those accounts. I don’t have the same number I used nor the email address. I don’t even remember the password. How can I delete those accounts? Can I maybe ban those accounts?

this was a long time ago, and i don't think about it a lot because, i'm in uni now and have got better things to do, obviously. but sometimes it hits me, and although i don't overthink it anymore, just for a while i wonder what we really were, and how he actually felt about me, because i never asked him and everything was just so confusing, and i feel like i need some opinions.
so, around march of 2022, i started to develop feelings for this guy at my geography class. we never really used to talk, but we followed each other on instagram, and it wasn't until i regularly started seeing him in class that i realised, we shared another class together when we were much younger too. to this day, i don't know what made him change his mind, that he started talking to me, after all our exams were over. (because after he did, i found out that he still wasn't over his ex. he said he was holding on to her, and still had all her pictures in his phone. and he said they broke up so he could be a better person for her, and that this was good for her).
in class, i used to sit in the middle table with my friends, and he used to sit in the corner table at the back left, with his friends. and one day he suddenly moved to sit in the two empty seats in front of me with one of his friends, claiming that at the back he couldn't see the white board properly? of course, i still don't know if he actually was saying the truth because i never asked him (i know). we started talking slowly after that day. i specifically remember this one day that i was having retests for a few subjects and the first class i had that day was geography and i didn't tell him about it because i didn't have the time to, so i sat down in the exam room having a strong gut feeling that he was going to call me and ask why i wasn't in the class, because i was never absent. as soon as the exam was over, i walked out of the room, grabbed my bag and unlocked my phone, just to see the notification that i'd missed 3 calls from him. during break, he was ordering food in the cafeteria and i was going to, as well.
so when i passed by him he asked me why i wasn't in the class this morning and i casually told him i was sitting a retest. to be honest, i didn't really think much about it then, because there's nothing wrong in caring for someone you're friends with. this other day my friend who takes psychology, came to drop me to my class. and i was standing in front of him, and my friend was talking to him (they knew each other from psych), and he was calling me (idk why), to which my friend noticed that he was, and asked him why he would have my number, and he responded by saying he wanted to prank call me at times...now that i think about it, it sounds a bit weird. we texted a lot during summer holidays too. i was sick on the first week of summer, and i told him about it. he used to be worried about me and constantly asked me how i was feeling and if i was getting better, told me to drink warm water, take my medicine, and to not strain my voice too much. he also found out i sing, and told me we should do a duet sometime.
there was this one morning where he called me at around 6:00 am, i was still sleeping and he was at the basketball court with his friend. he told me to come over, and as i was still sick, i told him i was lazy and my parents wouldn't allow me since it was too early. he told me it was okay, and to sneak out and just come, but i told him that i would come the next day. when he got home, he texted me saying he was sorry for waking me up, and i told him it was okay, and he asked if we could FaceTime. we did. he sent me memes on instagram, while we both were still in the call, and we'd both laugh over it. he had a dentist appointment that day, and I told him that he'd get late. but we continued to FaceTime, until he left.
the next day. when i did go, he was playing basketball with his friends, and i didn't play basketball, so i just sat at the benches across the court, but he stopped his game and sat next to me, asking me why i was just sitting here. again i was sick, and coughing too frequent, so he asked me if i was okay and gave me his water bottle. which i felt bad because his friend asked him for water a while after and he said "i gave it to her". throughout the whole time of me being there, he was constantly teasing me. saying things like "she's here to see me" or throwing the ball through the hoop and saying that the goal was for me. eventually, when i wanted to go home, he asked to drop me, and i was nervous so i didn't say anything and sat down again, and after a while his friend responded by saying, "just drop her home" to which he said "i know what she wants, i want to hear it from her". he did need up dropping me home that night.
he would also notice every small thing about me. like if i wore a bit of makeup, or did something new to my hair, he would notice. on the last day of school, we were talking about our crushes and he asked me to tell him who my crush was, i did tell him, he smiled and was surprised, but his answer was a bit confusing. he said he 'understands', and that was it. he also found out that i was stalking his instagram account in class after the summer holidays. i opened my phone in class and i forgot that i was staring at his pics. so i quickly hid my phone, but he saw it and told me to unlock my phone. i guess he saw my password too because he just stole my phone and saw everything. maybe he was teasing me because he wasn't giving it back.
this happened a day before i found out that he got a girlfriend. which was weird to me, because i knew all the girls he talked to, and he never talked to that girl. i was heartbroken because i found out about that the moment i entered school. how could he be so selfish? why was he so reckless about my feelings? why didn't he tell me the truth? my whole day was ruined and i just...wanted to go home. i mean, if he didn't feel the same way about me, he could've just told me the truth, instead of leading me on for 8 months...we completely stopped talking after that. he ignored me, and i started caring less and less about him. it was heartbreaking to get over him, (because i never felt that way for anyone) but it was for the best.

I’m 31F he is 27M. Over our 8 months there’s been times that he has stared & drooled over other women. To the point where I am very embarrassed, they’re creeped out, & I stopped going on dates/in public with him. In more recent months he’s been respectful, a quick glance or two. Whether it was in a respectful manner or not, each time he’s tried to gaslight me but then eventually admitted to it and said he’d work on it, which he did.
Nonetheless, I’ve also always been very insecure but this man has killed my confidence completely. Is this understandable or do I need to kick myself in the butt and work on myself internally, externally? This is the most attractive man I’ve ever been with so is this just how things go when you have a hot bf?
The other night something so weird happened. We were at a comedy show and I was in between him and this beautiful woman. We were waiting sitting for the show to start when she came over to the seat next to me asking if it was #37. Now I wish I would have told her girl look at the chair it’s written on it. Figure it out how I did. Instead I stuttered and struggled to respond oh yeah mine is #38 so it should be. I was instantly intimidated as she smelled so good, her style was on point, her voice soft & kind. I just had a miscarriage. Was very depressed/sick with the pregnancy. I never get dolled up anymore & she made me realize I hadn’t even put on perfume for the night out. After she spoke to me then sat down with us, my bf seemed very curious and asked what she told me. I should have known then I guess but I’ve kept giving the benefit of the doubt or else I’ll go crazy with suspicion & accusations.
I was really trying to enjoy the show. I’ve stopped looking to see how he interacts with women just so I can enjoy life & the relationship but this was right in my face I wish it didn’t happen I even kept trying to ignore it. He was like flirting with her and sending her some type of sexual energy. All I know is I felt A LOT of sexual tension & it wasn’t between my bf & I. Kept telling myself you’re being crazy but as the show went on it just got more & more awkward & I felt more & more like a third wheel. While on a date with my bf. It’s like he noticed how uncomfortable & awkward things got so he started kissing/holding my hand. I stopped laughing at the comedian but my bf and the woman kept giggling at the same things. It’s a comedy show so like of course they’re laughing right along with everyone else? I feel so neurotic but also like I’m self sabotaging. I didn’t even feel okay to leave to use the bathroom out of fear they’d hook up or exchange numbers idk.
I should mention that we live together & he shows me off constantly. Every day. Online and in real life. Even if he notices another attractive woman, or he realizes he’s being checked out, he will kiss me or pull me in close. He stopped drinking, going out, gave all his passwords and made me an account holder on his phone plan so I can check messages/texts any time. I stopped working when I became pregnant and he was going to let me be home the entire pregnancy. Does things also like cook, clean, builds our furniture. He constantly talks about our future, marriage, kids. Asks me to look at rings. He keeps saying that he wasn’t even looking in her direction and was all over me the entire show. Is he being genuine or manipulative?

I’m 31F he is 27M. Over our 8 months there’s been times that he has stared & drooled over other women. To the point where I am very embarrassed, they’re creeped out, & I stopped going on dates/in public with him. In more recent months he’s been respectful, a quick glance or two. Whether it was in a respectful manner or not, each time he’s tried to gaslight me but then eventually admitted to it and said he’d work on it, which he did.
Nonetheless, I’ve also always been very insecure but this man has killed my confidence completely. Is this understandable or do I need to kick myself in the butt and work on myself internally, externally? This is the most attractive man I’ve ever been with so is this just how things go when you have a hot bf?
The other night something so weird happened. We were at a comedy show and I was in between him and this beautiful woman. We were waiting sitting for the show to start when she came over to the seat next to me asking if it was #37. Now I wish I would have told her girl look at the chair it’s written on it. Figure it out how I did. Instead I stuttered and struggled to respond oh yeah mine is #38 so it should be. I was instantly intimidated as she smelled so good, her style was on point, her voice soft & kind. I just had a miscarriage. Was very depressed/sick with the pregnancy. I never get dolled up anymore & she made me realize I hadn’t even put on perfume for the night out. After she spoke to me then sat down with us, my bf seemed very curious and asked what she told me. I should have known then I guess but I’ve kept giving the benefit of the doubt or else I’ll go crazy with suspicion & accusations.
I was really trying to enjoy the show. I’ve stopped looking to see how he interacts with women just so I can enjoy life & the relationship but this was right in my face I wish it didn’t happen I even kept trying to ignore it. He was like flirting with her and sending her some type of sexual energy. All I know is I felt A LOT of sexual tension & it wasn’t between my bf & I. Kept telling myself you’re being crazy but as the show went on it just got more & more awkward & I felt more & more like a third wheel. While on a date with my bf. It’s like he noticed how uncomfortable & awkward things got so he started kissing/holding my hand. I stopped laughing at the comedian but my bf and the woman kept giggling at the same things. It’s a comedy show so like of course they’re laughing right along with everyone else? I feel so neurotic but also like I’m self sabotaging. I didn’t even feel okay to leave to use the bathroom out of fear they’d hook up or exchange numbers idk.
I should mention that we live together & he shows me off constantly. Every day. Online and in real life. Even if he notices another attractive woman, or he realizes he’s being checked out, he will kiss me or pull me in close. He stopped drinking, going out, gave all his passwords and made me an account holder on his phone plan so I can check messages/texts any time. I stopped working when I became pregnant and he was going to let me be home the entire pregnancy. Does things also like cook, clean, builds our furniture. He constantly talks about our future, marriage, kids. Asks me to look at rings. He keeps saying that he wasn’t even looking in her direction and was all over me the entire show. Is he being genuine or manipulative?

Over our 8 months there’s been times that he has stared & drooled over other women. To the point where I am very embarrassed, they’re creeped out, & I stopped going on dates/in public with him. In more recent months he’s been respectful, a quick glance or two. Whether it was in a respectful manner or not, each time he’s tried to gaslight me but then eventually admitted to it and said he’d work on it, which he did.
Nonetheless, I’ve also always been very insecure but this man has killed my confidence completely. Is this understandable or do I need to kick myself in the butt and work on myself internally, externally? This is the most attractive man I’ve ever been with so is this just how things go when you have a hot bf?
The other night something so weird happened. We were at a comedy show and I was in between him and this beautiful woman. We were waiting sitting for the show to start when she came over to the seat next to me asking if it was #37. Now I wish I would have told her girl look at the chair it’s written on it. Figure it out how I did. Instead I stuttered and struggled to respond oh yeah mine is #38 so it should be. I was instantly intimidated as she smelled so good, her style was on point, her voice soft & kind. I just had a miscarriage. Was very depressed/sick with the pregnancy. I never get dolled up anymore & she made me realize I hadn’t even put on perfume for the night out. After she spoke to me then sat down with us, my bf seemed very curious and asked what she told me. I should have known then I guess but I’ve kept giving the benefit of the doubt or else I’ll go crazy with suspicion & accusations.
I was really trying to enjoy the show. I’ve stopped looking to see how he interacts with women just so I can enjoy life & the relationship but this was right in my face I wish it didn’t happen I even kept trying to ignore it. He was like flirting with her and sending her some type of sexual energy. All I know is I felt A LOT of sexual tension & it wasn’t between my bf & I. Kept telling myself you’re being crazy but as the show went on it just got more & more awkward & I felt more & more like a third wheel. While on a date with my bf. It’s like he noticed how uncomfortable & awkward things got so he started kissing/holding my hand. I stopped laughing at the comedian but my bf and the woman kept giggling at the same things. It’s a comedy show so like of course they’re laughing right along with everyone else? I feel so neurotic but also like I’m self sabotaging. I didn’t even feel okay to leave to use the bathroom out of fear they’d hook up or exchange numbers idk.
I should mention that we live together & he shows me off constantly. Every day. Online and in real life. Even if he notices another attractive woman, or he realizes he’s being checked out, he will kiss me or pull me in close. He stopped drinking, going out, gave all his passwords and made me an account holder on his phone plan so I can check messages/texts any time. I stopped working when I became pregnant and he was going to let me be home the entire pregnancy. Does things also like cook, clean, builds our furniture. He constantly talks about our future, marriage, kids. Asks me to look at rings. He keeps saying that he wasn’t even looking in her direction and was all over me the entire show. Is he being genuine or manipulative?

Over our 8 month relationship there’s been times that he has stared & drooled over other women. To the point where I am very embarrassed, they’re creeped out, & I stopped going on dates/in public with him. In more recent months he’s been respectful, a quick glance or two. Whether it was in a respectful manner or not, each time he’s tried to gaslight me but then eventually admitted to it and said he’d work on it, which he did.
Nonetheless, I’ve also always been very insecure but this man has killed my confidence completely. Is this understandable or do I need to kick myself in the butt and work on myself internally, externally? This is the most attractive man I’ve ever been with so is this just how things go when you have a hot bf?
The other night something so weird happened. We were at a comedy show and I was in between him and this beautiful woman. We were waiting sitting for the show to start when she came over to the seat next to me asking if it was #37. Now I wish I would have told her girl look at the chair it’s written on it. Figure it out how I did. Instead I stuttered and struggled to respond oh yeah mine is #38 so it should be. I was instantly intimidated as she smelled so good, her style was on point, her voice soft & kind. I just had a miscarriage. Was very depressed/sick with the pregnancy. I never get dolled up anymore & she made me realize I hadn’t even put on perfume for the night out. After she spoke to me then sat down with us, my bf seemed very curious and asked what she told me. I should have known then I guess but I’ve kept giving the benefit of the doubt or else I’ll go crazy with suspicion & accusations.
I was really trying to enjoy the show. I’ve stopped looking to see how he interacts with women just so I can enjoy life & the relationship. He was like flirting with her and sending her some type of sexual energy. All I know is I felt A LOT of sexual tension & it wasn’t between my bf & I. Kept telling myself you’re being crazy but as the show went on it just got more & more awkward & I felt more & more like a third wheel. While on a date with my bf. It’s like he noticed how uncomfortable & awkward things got so he started kissing/holding my hand. I stopped laughing at the comedian but my bf and the woman kept giggling at the same things. It’s a comedy show so like of course they’re laughing right along with everyone else? I feel so neurotic but also like I’m self sabotaging. I didn’t even feel okay to leave to use the bathroom out of fear they’d hook up or exchange numbers idk.
I should mention that he shows me off constantly. Every day. Online and in real life. Even if he notices another attractive woman, or he realizes he’s being checked out, he will kiss me or pull me in close. He stopped drinking, going out, gave all his passwords and made me an account holder on his phone plan so I can check messages/texts any time. I stopped working when I became pregnant and he was going to let me be home the entire pregnancy. Does things also like cook, clean, builds our furniture. He constantly talks about our future, marriage, kids. Asks me to look at rings. He keeps saying that he wasn’t even looking in her direction and was all over me the entire show. Is he being genuine or manipulative?

Me and my boyfriend been together for almost a year now but we been more toxic than ever. It all started good and safe. Then cheating from his side got involved i forgave him because i believe he can change as he said he will and i kept his accounts passwords as part of reassurance but what he did kept hunting me and made a lot of problems which eventually led to toxic and abusive behaviour on both sides eventually this past month we broke up for 3 days or so and he blocked me and followed bunch of girls i felt like it's betraying and even after we talked it out and got back together he still wanted to keep the girls in the account and keep his accounts passwords and wanna take distance (we used to live together now we don't) this time i felt like this won't work for me because i keep having thoughts about him cheating. I really love this person and want to work it out is there any way i can fix this relationship please i need advice

Ok so she was my crush for 4 years , she said yes in 2023 24 December ,she was a sanskari girl , we kissed and spent two days (6 hours each day ) hugging each other , yeah like a house date you can say , no indecent stuff. Because I would never do that , I think all that stuff should be done after marriage,
We used to talk about some indecent stuff sometimes she used to get very shy , we did it only a couple of times
Now In I think July she cheated on me ,it was a long distance relationship but she was the one who got guilty and confessed, I FORGAVE HER BECAUSE I LOVED HER SO MUCH , i just said to block the guy she cheated with me she blocked him but unblocked him after a week saying he's just a friend , I let it go
Then slowly and slowly she got upset with me for every little thing , that time I couldn't find her a dress for lower price she said pretty rude things,
Now in Feb 2024 , she began responding to my texts after 6-7 hours, I felt immense horror and worry as she was living away , so I used to contact her roommates to know if she's well or not
Now in March she now began responding to texts after 18-19 hours , when I asked she said she was studying and didn't have time so I said okay no worries but little did I know the only one she was busy for was me , she was talking with the guy she cheated , another guy who liked her ( her best friend said Don't do this kinda stuff to her but she didn't listen and she told me with proofs)
Then I said if you are not interested in me then we could just be friends she agreed , I was fucking heartbroken thinking about committing suicide and stuff but here she was talking all night with a guy ( for context this guy spread a rumour about a girl that she was a slut and he had sex with her ) , I was even more heartbroken, then next night I found out she was out there saying I love to random people , demn , and If you are wondering who told me this it was her , yes it was herself
Then I stopped texting her although my laptop's password is still her name and my name .
Then she text me I'm feeling depressed, I quickly respond and even stayed up all nights for 3 nights just in case if texts me I would be there for her and what did I get for that , when I asked her to forget about the problem and chill and talk with her parents what she said to me was "you are nobody to me"
The next day
Now she's sending me a ss of her sexting with numerous guys saying kitne ashleel log h , might i remind you she was sanskari and what pissed me off more was one of the she sexted with was none other than the guy who spread the rumour about that girl , so yeah now that chats must have already been in 10 different groups , and when I told her this she tells me ki baat itni badi h bhi nhi jitna badha rhe ho tum .
So why why it happened to me , what did I do wrong
Edit : now I'm getting to know 2 weeks after breaking up with me , she got a new bf from meerut , how I know that is because her best friend just couldn't take it anymore, she couldn't see me suffering anymore, so she sent the ss and her new bf was asking her best friend to come with her to rishikesh and vouch for her in front of her parents , he also said to bring more girls , his intentions are as clear as a day , but she's too fucking dumb, her best friend explained it to her but instead she got lectured ki gyaan na do

Bear with me lang kasi napakahaba nito. Haha. Parang entire relationship namin iku-kwento ko na. I just need to let it all out.
I (26, F) just recently ended my relationship with my boyfriend (29).
Backstory lang -- nagpursigi talaga siyang ligawan ako kahit na ilang beses ko siyang inayawan nung una. Eventually, I fell for him. There's just something about him that was very charming and endearing. In this case din, totoo yung 'he fell first, but she fell harder'. Lol.
Nung una okay naman kami. Like any other normal relationship, may mga away but we always fix things. Usually, the fights were caused (directly or indirectly) by his strong personality. He's egoistic and admittedly, mayabang. Masyadong mataas ang tingin sa sarili. Sure, he did have redeeming qualities pero we weren't really compatible given na I'm the meek and unassuming type of person naman. Still, I accepted those not-so-good traits. Wala, mahal ko na eh. I also always tell myself na despite my imperfections, he still loved and accepted me. Kumbaga, I'm seeing him through rose-colored glasses 'di ko napansing sobrang red flag na pala niya. Haha.
So, our problems started a few months into the relationship. I didn't know or noticed before, pero sobrang alcoholic nya to the point na inuumaga na ng uwi. Wala naman siyang maoy or what and it seemed like mataas lang talaga alcohol tolerance niya so parang 'di nalalasing, so at first, pinagbibigyan ko lang. Sabi nya, yun nalang naman daw ang pahinga nya at enjoyment. So kahit naiinis ako, eventually I got used to letting him be. And there he went, abusing the freedom and leniency I gave him.
Nagsimula yung 'di na siya naga-update 'pag nasa inuman siya with workmates. Nagpapaalam, oo. Alam niyang papayagan ko siya eh. Pero simpleng updates man lang kung ano nang ginagawa niya a few hours after niya magpaalam, or kung pauwi na ba siya, 'di niya kusang gagawin hanggang 'di ko kukulitin. And 'pag dumating na yung point na naiiinis na 'ko sa pinaggagawa niya, ako pa yung masama at di nakakaintindi. Gaslighter amp.
There's this one time na galing siya sa isang event somewhere outside Metro Manila nang isang weekend. He promised na after ng event, he'll visit sa bahay para naman makasama ko siya. I suggested it because I missed him and weekends was the only time we get to spend time together. I have always valued it. So dumating ang 9 pm, 10 pm. Ni ha, ni ho wala. I was crying when he finally picked up my call. Turns out, sa barkada pala dumiretso. Setting my pride aside, I begged him to just stay the night at our house (he sometimes did with my parents' permission). He promised again na he'll do just that so I would stop crying. Still, he broke that promise. Dumating ang 12 am, tinawagan ko yung barkada at yun nga, natulog na lang ang lolo niyo dun. This was probably where all the disrespect started. Pero dahil tanga ako, pinatawad ko at nagpatuloy pa rin ang relationship namin.
A few days naman into our anniversary, we had the biggest fight. Eto talaga 'di ko makakalimutan. So, I started getting jealous of this one girl na he was constantly stalking online. Mestiza si girlie, maganda at sexy. Typical tiktokerist na medyo sikat online, ganun. I didn't want to confront him about it kasi I don't wanna come off as insecure (even though I was feeling that way na deep inside). I'm not unattractive in any way, pero nakakababa naman talaga ng self-confidence yung ganun. So with that in mind, I admittedly started being paranoid 'pag lumalabas na naman siya with friends, especially 'pag may babaeng kasama.
At eto na nga, he was out drinking and I was pestering him with calls kasi 'di na naman macontact. When he finally answered, I heard typical bar noises but what really stood out was a female voice beside him at dun na nagpanting 'yung tenga ko. He ended the call na siya pa 'yung annoyed while there I was, feeling sick to my stomach. I wasn't thinking straight and decided to go where he was. Nag-book ako ng ride against my mom's will dahil gabing-gabi na. Pero I didn't care dahil gusto ko siyang puntahan. I sent him a message na I'll come pick him up para sa bahay nalang siya matulog. Silly me, pagdating ko dun sa bar, wala na sila nung mga kasama niya. Tried calling him a few times, no answer. So I ended up crying alone in 7-eleven like the idiot I was. Lol.
And didn't I say na biggest fight? Kasi it turns out, my mom intervened this time. Seeing me do stupid things and cry my eyes out for this person must have really struck a nerve as a mother. She sent a lengthy message to him, with all the hurtful and insulting things she could probably think of. Natural, nagalit si ex. I woke up seeing his message with a screenshot of my mom's chat and to him being furious and not wanting to talk to me. Despite what he has done the other night, I was the one apologizing. I panicked and went to his house, wanting to reconcile. What shocked me was, he suddenly wanted to end things. I was desperately sobbing, begging him not to leave me. I haven't cried that much my entire life. Stupidly, I even called my mom and asked her to apologize for the things she said. (Looking back, I was really such an asshole to my mom who was only looking out for me). Ang ending, we patched things up. Even celebrated our anniversary. Things we're starting getting back to normal. Or so I thought.
November 2023, he went out drinking again with a friend. Now, I didn't really like this friend of his because he just screams trouble. But because of everything that went down the past few months which almost ruined our relationship, by this time, I already learned to be more compromising and chillax lang sa relationship namin. So I obliged. I woke up at 3 am, no updates. I just had this feeling na something was very wrong. I started getting worried and tried videocalling him numerous times, no answer. A few minutes later, he called (not vc, audio lang), saying na nasa bahay na daw siya at natutulog na. Hindi ako naniwala and tried vc-ing him some more. Nung nakulitan sa'kin, saka lang umaming nasa labas parin kasama netong friend niya. He lied daw para 'di na ko mag-worry at matulog na ulit. 'Di naman daw siya gagawa ng kalokohan. I was so mad but decided to let him be. I have work that day and again, I don't wanna be the overthinkeparanoid type of girlfriend anymore.
The next day, 'di siya nagmessage maghapon. 'Di rin ako kumain maghapon. Nagchat lang siya para magpaalam nalang ulit na a-attend ng birthday party. Tuluyan na 'kong nawalan ng gana all the way through dinner. At dahil dun, I fainted and had to be rushed sa ospital. That's the only time he decided to show up. I don't know if it's out of love or guilt lang talaga, pero he stayed by my side and everything was okay again for a while.
December 2023, few days before Christmas. We were spending time together sa room nya. Nung nakatulog siya, I started getting this nagging urge to check his phone. We knew each other's phone's passwords and at first puro okay lang naman yung mga nakikita ko. Until I stumbled upon this private folder sa gallery niya. There were several files. I just knew I had to see it. With some luck and divine intervention na rin siguro (thank you Lord), I successfully opened the folder. At 'di ko kinaya yung mga nakita ko. Parang gumuho 'yung mundo ko that time and my mind just went blank. In that folder, there were sex videos of him and a woman I don't recognize. Nanginginig yung buong katawan ko at 'di ko na nagawang tapusin lahat ng recordings. Pinaghahampas ko siya habang tulog at pinakita yung nadiscover ko. Dahil wala na siyang lusot, inamin niya lahat. And again dito na naman papasok yung drinking problem niya. Lasing daw siya at 'di niya na alam yung ginagawa niya. Nakilala niya lang daw itong random girl na 'to and they hit it off. Nagbook pa sila ng motel. He said na one night stand lang yun, it doesn't mean anything and walang affection dun. I was having none of it. What's worse was that it happened the same night he went out with that friend and the day before ako na-hospitalize. All this time na inaalagaan niya ko, may tinatago na pala siyang kalokohan.
I thought of leaving his house and coming home, pero I was worried of how my mom would react if she finds out. The I-told-you-so's would have added salt to the wound. So again stupidly, I stayed. I cried my eyes out alone in his room while he went out dahil alam niya daw ayaw ko siyang makita. Lol, damn right. I was in such a bad shape physically, emotionally and mentally and had no one else to talk to. Then, I thought of opening up to this friend/workmate of mine who also knew him and his tendencies. Note that my then boyfriend hated this guy's guts for some reason. I've come to realize, maybe because they're complete opposites in terms of values and principles.
Like any person with common sense, this friend advised na I should think of myself first and with how my then boyfriend is causing me so much pain, I should assess our relationship. That I should think carefully and decide what's right for me. What's frustrating is, looking back to how many times this friend told me to always think of what's best for me, I still went back to my ex again and again. Konting suyo, bibigay agad. I just can't stay mad at him for too long. Nakakatanga nga talaga ang pagmamahal.
January 2024 came and we were still together. I wanted a fresh start and leave all the worst things that happened behind. We decided to finally live together, and again this caused conflict between us and my mom. But I knew deep in my heart that this was all that we needed to keep our relationship from falling apart. Boy, I was so wrong.
The first few months, I was genuinely happy. We still have our fights here and there, but otherwise everything was smooth-sailing. He was still his old alcholic self too, but at least he wasn't being unfaithful. Again, akala ko na naman yun.
Firstly, nakikipagkwentuhan siya sa IG dun sa isang workmate na kilala ko lang sa mukha. Now, I'm not against him having female friends and I even knew some personally and have good relationship with them. Pero this one's just different. With the way their conversation was going, I knew there was something wrong. Too personal and minsan ako pa yung topic. I was uncomfortable with what's happening na kahit wala pa namang ginagawa yung girl, naiirita ako pag nakikita ko siya (for context, we have common friends so we saw each other a few times). When I finally confronted him about it, itinigil naman nya. I thought that was the end of it.
But here comes the hellish final weeks. The first time was nung nahuli ko na naman siyang ini-stalk yung dati niyang kinukursunada (remember the mestiza girl?). He would again say na wala lang yun, lasing lang siya kaya niya sini-search sa socials. Or yung friend niyang may gusto dun yung nang i-stalk gamit yung account niya.
At eto na nga yung di ko kinaya. One day last March, I went home around 11 pm to see him sleeping but almost naked with his private part sticking out of his underwear, with you-know-what spilling out. Obviously, he did that thing men do when they're alone and horny. It was so sick and I was so hurt. I wondered who he was thinking of while doing that. I was so dumbfounded with what he said too when I woke him up. Lalaki pa rin naman daw siya. Like wtf. Ang masakit pa, before ako umuwi, he asked for food kasi di pa daw siya kumakain. Ako naman 'tong si tangang excited bilhan siya ng kini-crave niya na food dahil alam kong matutuwa siya. Ako naman ang kini-crave, appreciation. Nagkanda-dapa dapa pa ko on the way home. Haha. I was feeling so helpless at this point I couldn't do anything but to just cry alone sa CR. Haaay.
One day naman, one of his friends/workmate came over and nag-inom sila until they drop. Imagine the shame and disrespect I felt when he made that guy sleep in the very same room we shared together. I just couldn't take the humiliation he's putting me through and the absurdity of the situation, so I told him I wanted to go home. He just wouldn't understand na babae ako at kahit siguro sino 'di magiging komportable sa ganun. But he wasn't budging and told me to just sleep. Then he just had to ask this question: 'Gusto mo bang makatikim ng ibang lalake?'. I just snapped. Nanginginig buong katawan ko sa galit and I went out. I just had to get out of there. Mukha akong tangang umiiyak in my pajamas pa sa labas ng bahay but I didn't care anymore.
I didn't know sinundan niya ako at nakita niya kong nagbubook ng ride. Inagaw niya yung phone ko and told me he'll just take me home. Pero tapos na daw kami pag umuwi ako. Admittedly, naduwag ako. At that time, I still love him very much. Being my indecisive self, we just sat there by the road, arguing. Me sobbing uncontrollably, him telling me na bakit daw ba ako nakikipag-close dun sa friend/workmate ko (the one who I open up our problems to). At my friend was the reason pala kung bakit tinanong niya yung kadiring tanong na 'yun sakin (kung 'gusto ko daw ba makatikim ng ibang lalake'). I kept reassuring him na he's just a friend, pero all he did was throw insults at this person. Para kaming tangang dalawang nakalupasay sa kalsada sa harap ng bahay nila. In the end, I just decided to stay and sleep no matter how uncomfortable and disgusted I felt. I was so drained and numb.
The final straw was this one time na hindi na naman niya sinasagot yung mga tawag ko after his shift ended. Nung ako na yung nag-out from work (I work 'til late night), I saw that my messages were still left on delivered. De javu, I thought. Tried calling him a few times, 'di pa rin sinagot. I'm halfway home nung nag-chat na siya, saying he was at home the whole time, nag-iinom with workmates. I can smell his bullshit from miles away. Tried confirming sa mga kasama namin sa bahay while nasa byahe ako, at tama nga yung hinala ko, kakauwi palang niya. Once at home, nakita ko na siyang tulog. I checked his phone. At dahil pinalaki ako ni Detective Conan, nalaman ko kung saan talaga siya galing. Sa isang condo. Wala akong ibang kilalang may condo unit kundi yung kinalolokohan niya. At this point, I didn't even cry despite the betrayal. Manhid na 'ko. I just needed for him to tell me the truth. In the end, deny to the max pa rin. Nasa ibang lugar daw siya at kaya lang daw hindi nagpaalam at nagsinungaling ay dahil magagalit ako at mag-aaway kami. That's when I realized I've finally had enough and decided to move out the next day.
It's been more than a month since we broke up. The tables have turned and now he's the one begging. Because of that, I had to go through a lot of relapses and mental breakdown. Part of me aches for him since he has no one else na (he doesn't have any real family members anymore, he does live with his foster family though). Tells me na ako lang kakampi niya pero iniwan ko pa rin siya. Na kasing sakit ng pagkawala ng mother niya yung pag-iwan ko sa kanya. Na his world fell apart when I left and that he now realizes my worth. But the bigger and more rational part of me just wants to let go and have my peace back.
I can also see how the situation is really killing him. I've never seen him so unfocused at work (he takes his job very seriously) to the point na nagbabagsakan talaga performance scores niya. I've never seen him this desperate to win me back na kahit magmukha siyang tanga sa harap ng ibang tao like my work friends, okay lang. I keep on pushing him away and I'm feeling a bit guilty for the pain he's going through right now. I know he deserves it, pero he's on the verge of ruining his life. Kanina lang nalaman kong 'di siya pumasok nung Friday dahil nagpakalasing magdamag.
Sorry na agad sa word vomit but ABYG for leaving him? Sabi kasi nila if you really love someone, you work things out and not give up on each other. I'm afraid that it will just be the same vicious cycle if balikan ko siya (not that I plan to) but I still care for him a lot.
Also, g@g0 rin ba ko for falling out of love kahit one month palang kaming nag-break kasi I'm starting to feel admiration for someone else now? (the very same friend/workmate of mine he hates so much)
TIA sa mga magtitiyagang magbasa at sumagot. It feels good to let it all out.
Edit 1: For typos and clarity. Thank you so much sa insights niyo so far and pag confirm na GG ako kung babalikan ko. Haha.
Edit 2: Appreciate y'all talking some sense into me. I finally blocked him on all socials para wala na talaga kaming connection. I was delaying doing just that for a while now because I still care about him nga and in case lang rin of emergency since nag-iisa na nga siya sa buhay (wala naman kasing pakialam talaga sa kanya yung foster family niya).

So my bf and I have been together for just under 4 yrs. We've lived together for 3 1/2 of those years.
Lately, it feels like we are always arguing about something. About a year ago, I found out he was saving pictures of girls to my laptop. I freaked. He promised me he would stop doing that as I felt so disrespected. At the time, his phone was broken and he didn't have a laptop, so we shared mine.
Cut to a year later and he's acting really dodgy with his new phone. He didn't share his password with me and I didn't ask. However, he would go on my phone all the time and knew my password. So, one night I got curious and when he fell asleep and left his phone open, I seized my opportunity. I regretted it. He had all these pictures and videos saved. Even of an old co-worker. And she wasn't aware he was taking videos of her ass. I was heartbroken and disturbed. He broke down and admitted to having a porn addiction. He promised me he was going to go to therapy and delete the pictures. He also gave me his password and told me if I want to look at his phone, to just do it while he was sleeping. I agreed, but I didn't look at his phone for a while after that. I was too scared I'd find something on there that would break me even more.
Well...my intuition was right. About a month later, I looked on his phone again, but did some actual digging this time. And when I took a look at his Reddit account, my heart broke. He was messaging one of the girls on here about how much he likes her soft curves and how he wants to see more of her. I was ready then to end things. I was done. I told him he broke my heart and that I have zero trust in him. I also made him delete any riskier pictures of me that either I sent him or he took. Trust is everything to me. I still don't trust him with anything of that nature.
I've been cheated on and messed with too many times to be able to handle any more of it. It takes something from you every time it happens. My self image and esteem is absolutely non-existent. My confidence is broken. I know that's not an attractive look. I know that I myself need therapy. I'm working on it.
He promised and cried and told me he would get rid of his account here and his IG (which set off more alarm bells because why would he need to delete his IG?). I told him that's not what I want. I want to be able to trust him to have these platforms without having the temptation of seeking pleasure from other women. But, I agreed. I told him he needs to earn my trust back. I couldn't even get changed around him, I would change in the washroom because I was so embarrassed and ashamed of my body.
Well, that lasted all of a month. He became more critical of me, angry with me. We've argued more than ever. And he's now started throwing the term "crazy maker" at me. He's told me that he needs a partner that he can criticize to flourish. Which, yes, made ALL of the alarm bells start ringing for me. He's changed his password and he's added all the apps back. He also has not started therapy, even though he's signed up for it.
We had a talk about how that makes me uncomfortable. He shared how he feels I don't hear him when he speaks to me. It was a really good conversation actually and it left me feeling hopeful for us. He promised he would change his password back. And I promised that I would take the time to listen more. Well, he hasn't done what he promised and it's been nearly a week. I never wanted to be the girlfriend that gets paranoid over her partners phone. I always cringed at those girls. And now I'm one of them. I hate that. I feel like I'm slowly going crazy. I feel like HE'S "crazy making".
I love him, I want to marry him. But I feel like I'm slowly losing myself and I don't know what to do anymore. I don't want to keep pestering him for his phone, but at this point I feel like he has something to hide from me and I'm scared of finding out what that is.
I need an unbiased opinion and I don't want to ask my friends because I feel like that sours how they view him. How do I get him to see that this is breaking me? Or is this me? I truly don't know any more if I'm overreacting.

The rest, of course, will have to do with food! Now before you judge, I do speak two languages - but being the cunning linguist that I am I am also looking to expand my horizons.
so I am currently enjoying a weather related day off, and hoping to make some like minded and fun connections as winter wraps itself up in my snowy corner of the world.
When I'm not replacing my blood with carbohydrates, I typically like to eat plenty of vegetables and stay hydrated! Cooking has been a major hobby for me over the past few years and I'm always ready to share recipes and ideas from the kitchen. Gumbo or Pernil anyone?! I also like to damage my hearing while playing in a cheezy pop-punk band where I live out my dreams of being Tre Cool and perhaps landing the mythical kick flip.
For real though, I'm like 36 and I don't belong on a skateboard. However I may just belong in your DM's. So if you're looking for a little flirting or maybe trying to relive the glory days of having a boyfriend from Canada then i'm your guy! Just keep in mind I lost my ICQ password so we may need to rely on other methods!
If you're interested in looks, well i'm your standard issue caucasian - 6' tall and slim with broad shoulders, a canadian tan (pale as fuck), blue eyes, strong features and dark shoulder length hair!
I'm not picky on looks/age/location - whatever; But I do like a girl with a big personality! So don't be shy :)

Let’s call him “K”. I hung out with “K” several times and have known him since 2013 so I didn’t think he was dangerous. At the end of 2014, he asked me to hang with him at a seedy bar and my stupid ass agreed. A guy I was friends with was at the bar too and him being there probably saved my life. I don’t remember drinking anything after drinking one drink and I don’t think it was alcoholic. I couldn’t stand after that everything seemed so hazy. My money was missing and my phone. I asked my friend what happened because he dropped me. He told me that “K” left me at their table and that I pretty much threw up everywhere, he tried looking for my phone but everything was missing, and I couldn’t stand. I tried remembering what happened but I couldn’t. He posted a picture on Snapchat 2 days later with “his new phone” I tried to track it with find my phone but it was disabled. I think he saw me put in my password, at the time it was “0000”. I asked him about it and he blocked me, He unblocked me 20 minutes later and told me that it was a “glitch” I didn't believe him but I came up with a dumb plan. I was going to “steal my phone back”. I asked him if he wanted to hang out and he said he was busy so I waited. On New Year's he asked me if I wanted to hang out and I thought “This is my chance” I went to his place and tried to turn on “find my phone” just in case I couldn’t steal it, and I was very unsuccessful and he caught me. I was raped and after it happened I tried to ignore it and pretend it never but I ended up missing my period. I tried to talk to him about it saying I wouldn’t tell anyone what happened if he could help me deal with it. He called me a “Pathetic Ugly Whore” and that no one would believe me and that I was “making it up”. I was paranoid and not okay, I was scared to take a pregnancy test but I eventually did. I wasn’t pregnant and it was the stress.
A couple of weeks after it happened. I started talking to this girl online who sent me a request and she seemed nice, she introduced me to her friends. Turns out they didn’t want to be my friend; they were his friends. He wanted to know if I was going to report him or not, I was so close to telling my dad and my friend convinced me not to and that I should try to move on. I don’t know why but I trusted them, they came into my life when I needed someone.
After being raped I took pictures of the bruises on my chest and arms because at the time I did want to report it. I started to chicken out because I was scared that no one would believe me and I was so scared. I told them about the pictures. They tried to convince me to delete it. I started to feel uneasy around them and distanced myself. I was terrified and decided to stalk them online. She went to preschool with one of my friends from school so I asked her about them. Turns out she and my rapist live in the same apartment. My friend from school, my rapist, and his friend who pretended to be my friend went to the same preschool. I found out that her boyfriend and my rapist are pretty close too. I was so traumatized and paranoid, that I thought everyone was out to get me. I stopped going to school and pretty much tanked some of my papers. I didn’t do anything with my life, I was going to be premed and after this whole incident, I couldn’t get out of bed for years. I was a virgin and religious but this ruined my faith in god and people. I have nightmares, I don’t trust anyone and I am suspicious of everyone. I am starting to work on myself and get better but I think of what my life could’ve been and I feel sad again.

I have been facing difficulty in accessing my Instagram account. initially I didn't remember the password but now that I did FINALLY its sending a security code to a Gmail address that I no longer have access to. Despite multiple attempts to resolve this issue through customer care and Gmail support, I have not been successful in recovering my account for over SIX PLUS .It might not look like the biggest issue but now that I am old enough it's affecting my social life in ways I can't explain that account is very imature(fan girl imature) and the problem is it had my real original username to it so whenever anyone looks me up they find that.. Insta gives me an option "if you have your photo there but I don't"
I need help