Fat speedo pictures
Fit to Fat: Reverse Progress Pictures
2015.01.04 06:30 ihatefatasses Fit to Fat: Reverse Progress Pictures
A place for sharing "reverse progress pictures" and motivating others to remain healthy and lose excess weight.
2012.03.08 00:03 godleflopest Collection of delightfully rotund cats or businessmen!
Fat Cats killed fatcats.
2013.01.07 10:29 pork_celestial Welcome to Fat People Stories.
Trigger Warning: Hamplanets
2024.04.29 04:30 Slight-Degree-2289 [Hiring] [$75-150] !!New School TATTOO DESIGNER!! for a mixed media mashup (crude mockup provided)
![[Hiring] [$75-150] !!New School TATTOO DESIGNER!! for a mixed media mashup (crude mockup provided)](https://b.thumbs.redditmedia.com/MyVOQ2aIKE28ZJUe04TU_aLWZ_MQWffxD4g_-RsxI7I.jpg "[Hiring] [$75-150] !!New School TATTOO DESIGNER!! for a mixed media mashup (crude mockup provided)") | Hey y'all! Hope everyone is well. I want to get a thigh tattoo of 3 childhood cartoon characters as Hunter, Gonzo, and the hitchhiker in the opening scene of Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. I understand that this is a bit of a strange request. I've already crudely mocked it up in photoshop, but there are limits that I've reached in my own design. submitted by Slight-Degree-2289 to HungryArtists [link] [comments] The goal is to replace the 3 characters with Franklin the Turtle, Scooby Doo, and Ms. Frizzle in the red droptop Chevy Caprice from the opening scene of Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas (where they go through bat country.) I will include photos of all the elements mentioned below: I want Franklin the Turtle from the PBS show as Hunter S. Thompson with the following elements emphasized.
I want this piece on my front upper thigh, ideally popping enough to keep within the range of 20-30 sq. inches with detail clearly visible. I hope the elements from the film can be emphasized enough to need no desert background, saving on color ink costs. The most I'll add for a background would be some bats flying above, nothing a tattoo artist can't improvise. The shading/ contrast can be black and white, keeping colors simple as needed for the characters/ references. I know this is a lot and weird as fuck but I appreciate you if you got this far lmfao. Shoot me what you think is a fair price in the comments or DM's whatever you're comfortable with. This scene came to me in a dream, and it would be my dream to permanently etch this into my thigh. No, I will have no regerts ;)) Original Mockup Bad attempt at pop Hunter driving (cig holder, aviators, bucket hat, yellow shirt) Gonzo (driving in this scene but would be passenger in tattoo) (black glasses, open red shirt) Franklins fat forearms New school example (character a bit too big to fit 3) |
2024.04.29 04:18 MotherofCats1986 “Best Friend” kicked me out of her wedding because I have childhood trauma and anxiety.
HI CHARLOTTE! You’re my favorite YouTuber and I enjoy getting the notification that you uploaded a new video!
Anyways, here’s my wedding drama story.
So, this happened a few years ago and it still bothers me a little bit. I’ll try my best to make sense and get my point across.
I was friends with this girl, we’ll call her April, for YEARS. We became friends after another friend we were both friends with stopped being our friend over bs.
We were friends for over 10 years…maybe longer. I don’t know. I even made my child her godchild.
Everything was fine UNTIL her wedding.
She made me a bridesmaid. Her younger sister (she told me many times how much she hated her sister) was the maid of honor (she didn’t want her sister to be MOH, but their mother forced her into doing it.)
She had many bridesmaids. I was so happy for her because she’s marrying the man of her dreams.
I purchased a bridesmaids dress that she approved and I paid for it. Back then, I didn’t have a good income. So I had to be frugal with my purchases.
Then the bridal shower happened…
I only knew one bridesmaids (Mary) there. We all went to high school together. I wasn’t exactly friends with her, but we were civil.
We were all talking about the bachelorette party and where we can go. Now, these girls are, well, I can’t say “rich”, but they were financially secure to do exciting things.
I told them that I need plans to be solid so I can save money. I get SSI and I get it the first of the month. I told the girls this and asked if there was any way we can do around that time.
They gave me dirty looks and were rude to me. Mary was the only one who was kind to me like always.
They were doing pictures and they wanted me in them.
Now here’s some background on my childhood trauma I spoke of in the title. (I can’t really tell everything because it’s not appropriate for this thread.)
I had a rough childhood. One where a 4 year old shouldn’t go through. But it happened and I’ve been healing ever since.
I have anxiety that is being treated. It’s not as bad as it was when I was younger.
Anyways, it’s hard for me to be around people that I don’t know, but I’m fine once I get comfortable around people. It’s never caused any issues before.
I took photos with the girls and everything. There was no issue…until…
A few weeks later, she asked me to go to a popular tourist destination that we sometimes went to. We had a fun day and it was nice to hang out with my “friend”
On the way back, she was going to drop me off with my fiancé at “our spot” (me and my fiancés spot at a park)
She tells me that she no longer wants me to be in her wedding as a bridesmaid. Why you may ask?
Because she doesn’t think my mental health would work with her wedding. She said that I can still be apart of it by helping guest to their seats. Ummm?
I asked her why she wanted that and she told me that my trauma (she knew what happened to me in my childhood.) is going to ruin her wedding. What?
I have NEVER had an issue with my trauma and my anxiety. She’s never seen me have a panic attack or anything…I’m literally fine.
I told her I would not be a problem. My ex husband and my fiancé both vouched for me. My ex and I were together on and off for 20 years. He knows me more than anyone.
She just kept telling me how I’m not a good fit. She also complained about my weight. I gained weight after having my youngest child.
I finally got to a decent weight but it was still an issue with it. All her other BM and MOH were all thin and fit. Except for me. 🤷🏼♀️
She even promised me that she’d pay me back for the bridesmaid dress because she felt bad. Haha! She never paid me back.
We stopped talking and being friends after that. So, here’s where it got weird. 😳
Remember Mary? Well she contacted me after their bachelorette party. She said it was a train wreck.
Now Mary has Fibromyalgia. She and I share that same issue.
They apparently went to a nightclub. Mary told me that April and the other girls were mean and rude to her the entire time.
Made her feel bad yada yada. She got fed up with it so she told April she wanted to go back to the hotel because she was in pain and felt awful that they were mean to her.
They ignored her. So she had to find another way back to the hotel because their limo driver wasn’t going to take her back.
So she called an Uber and left. She went home after that.
Mary told me that out of the 6 girls in the wedding party, only three stayed in the wedding party. Even her own sister didn’t want to be in the wedding. She didn’t even show up!
That’s gotta say something about her character…I was heartbroken for a while after this bs.
Then I realized I dodged the bullet. I was told she made fun of me all the time. That I’m “too fat.” And that the ONLY reason she put me in her wedding was because she felt bad for me. Wtf?
How can you be friends with someone and claim they are your best friend but talk sh!t about them behind your back.
I feel bad for her husband.
I don’t wish them well. I know that sounds messed up, but I don’t. She is miserable with her boring life.
Not me. I’m happy. I made three new friends and they are like my sisters. They never treat me bad.
Now I’m planning my wedding and can’t wait to celebrate with my loved ones. ❤️
submitted by MotherofCats1986 to CharlotteDobreYouTube [link] [comments]
Anyways, here’s my wedding drama story.
So, this happened a few years ago and it still bothers me a little bit. I’ll try my best to make sense and get my point across.
I was friends with this girl, we’ll call her April, for YEARS. We became friends after another friend we were both friends with stopped being our friend over bs.
We were friends for over 10 years…maybe longer. I don’t know. I even made my child her godchild.
Everything was fine UNTIL her wedding.
She made me a bridesmaid. Her younger sister (she told me many times how much she hated her sister) was the maid of honor (she didn’t want her sister to be MOH, but their mother forced her into doing it.)
She had many bridesmaids. I was so happy for her because she’s marrying the man of her dreams.
I purchased a bridesmaids dress that she approved and I paid for it. Back then, I didn’t have a good income. So I had to be frugal with my purchases.
Then the bridal shower happened…
I only knew one bridesmaids (Mary) there. We all went to high school together. I wasn’t exactly friends with her, but we were civil.
We were all talking about the bachelorette party and where we can go. Now, these girls are, well, I can’t say “rich”, but they were financially secure to do exciting things.
I told them that I need plans to be solid so I can save money. I get SSI and I get it the first of the month. I told the girls this and asked if there was any way we can do around that time.
They gave me dirty looks and were rude to me. Mary was the only one who was kind to me like always.
They were doing pictures and they wanted me in them.
Now here’s some background on my childhood trauma I spoke of in the title. (I can’t really tell everything because it’s not appropriate for this thread.)
I had a rough childhood. One where a 4 year old shouldn’t go through. But it happened and I’ve been healing ever since.
I have anxiety that is being treated. It’s not as bad as it was when I was younger.
Anyways, it’s hard for me to be around people that I don’t know, but I’m fine once I get comfortable around people. It’s never caused any issues before.
I took photos with the girls and everything. There was no issue…until…
A few weeks later, she asked me to go to a popular tourist destination that we sometimes went to. We had a fun day and it was nice to hang out with my “friend”
On the way back, she was going to drop me off with my fiancé at “our spot” (me and my fiancés spot at a park)
She tells me that she no longer wants me to be in her wedding as a bridesmaid. Why you may ask?
Because she doesn’t think my mental health would work with her wedding. She said that I can still be apart of it by helping guest to their seats. Ummm?
I asked her why she wanted that and she told me that my trauma (she knew what happened to me in my childhood.) is going to ruin her wedding. What?
I have NEVER had an issue with my trauma and my anxiety. She’s never seen me have a panic attack or anything…I’m literally fine.
I told her I would not be a problem. My ex husband and my fiancé both vouched for me. My ex and I were together on and off for 20 years. He knows me more than anyone.
She just kept telling me how I’m not a good fit. She also complained about my weight. I gained weight after having my youngest child.
I finally got to a decent weight but it was still an issue with it. All her other BM and MOH were all thin and fit. Except for me. 🤷🏼♀️
She even promised me that she’d pay me back for the bridesmaid dress because she felt bad. Haha! She never paid me back.
We stopped talking and being friends after that. So, here’s where it got weird. 😳
Remember Mary? Well she contacted me after their bachelorette party. She said it was a train wreck.
Now Mary has Fibromyalgia. She and I share that same issue.
They apparently went to a nightclub. Mary told me that April and the other girls were mean and rude to her the entire time.
Made her feel bad yada yada. She got fed up with it so she told April she wanted to go back to the hotel because she was in pain and felt awful that they were mean to her.
They ignored her. So she had to find another way back to the hotel because their limo driver wasn’t going to take her back.
So she called an Uber and left. She went home after that.
Mary told me that out of the 6 girls in the wedding party, only three stayed in the wedding party. Even her own sister didn’t want to be in the wedding. She didn’t even show up!
That’s gotta say something about her character…I was heartbroken for a while after this bs.
Then I realized I dodged the bullet. I was told she made fun of me all the time. That I’m “too fat.” And that the ONLY reason she put me in her wedding was because she felt bad for me. Wtf?
How can you be friends with someone and claim they are your best friend but talk sh!t about them behind your back.
I feel bad for her husband.
I don’t wish them well. I know that sounds messed up, but I don’t. She is miserable with her boring life.
Not me. I’m happy. I made three new friends and they are like my sisters. They never treat me bad.
Now I’m planning my wedding and can’t wait to celebrate with my loved ones. ❤️
2024.04.29 03:55 Fun-Reality-3159 I escaped, twice.
Hello, I 28(M) left my girlfriend 23(F) without ever saying goodbye on the second time. This sounds cold and evil but I wasn't in a good place mentally at the time.
TLDR: I'm autistic and I wanted to be like a normal man in a relationship but it ended up being the worst few years of my life to the point of almost no return. I've been permanently changed by this relationship despite now being free.
I got with my ex during COVID through an app and I never thought I'd ever be in a relationship but we gelled together well... So I thought. During COVID the friends I had slowly faded away and I found myself focusing my social life on my ex more and more. After COVID settled down we moved in together and it was like an amazing dream. See, I'm autistic and have social anxiety so I never thought I'd experience any of this life style and be 'normal'.
I changed jobs at the same time for easier commute and as a bonus it had a higher salary. My ex also changed jobs to become full time to support the payments for bills but also to be within walking distance from our apartment. We started with an empty apartment and over time filled it to mostly my ex's taste as I had no idea what interior design to go for. I just cared about having a place of my own with my then girlfriend.
7 months go by... It all seemed well on the surface but there was an underlying problem within myself that was starting to grow. I missed my family a lot and this apartment we moved into was a long drive away. However, my ex's family was only 10 minutes max and we would visit them a lot each week. At best I'd see my family twice a month. Additionally, the friends I had made before COVID had stopped talking to me and all I had in my head was that they only talked to me because they wanted something out of me.
Another month goes by and I drive my family and my ex to a lovely place to celebrate my mom's birthday. On the very first night, we fall asleep in a luxurious bed when I'm awoken to talking. I woke up but didn't move a muscle and could hear my ex talking. I thought maybe she is sleep talking... I turn my head and nope. She has earphones in and her phone is lighting up the room. I can't see the screen but I listen for a minute before I started to have a panic attack. I realised during the entire relationship she had been cheating on me and using me just to pay half the bills. My whole body started shaking violently and I couldn't stop it for at least 10 minutes.
I was stuck in the middle of no where and I had to pretend to my whole family that every thing was fine, including to my ex. I proceeded to have daily panic attacks in the toilet and would blame my bowels for how long I was gone. This became more frequent as the months went by... You might be like... Months? Why didn't you leave her as soon as you got back?
Well, as stupid as this is. I just wanted to look normal for once. All my life I had been physically and emotionally bullied. I now also had been isolated to the point of all socialisation being my ex as I had now started to work from home due to her manipulation. I no longer left the apartment. I no longer enjoyed any of the hobbies I did have. The only weird joy I had was my ex when she rewarded me and that would soon fade as she became more emotionally and financially abusive. I would get screamed at for not doing basic things or buying something for myself and not saving it for her.
I could feel myself being like an onio, slowly peeled away, layer by layer. I had lost all of my personality and identity. I hadn't seen any of my family for months.
I remember having to beg whilst on my knees to my ex to see my family for Christmas and how she tried to say I didn't love her for seeing them and not being with her and her family on Christmas. That's despite my family losing a close family member a few days beforehand...
I seriously feel ashamed that I went to this low point in my life. The pursuit of being a normal person in a relationship had crumbled my existence to essentially being a robot for my ex to control how ever she wanted.
I had put on 50lb of fat within the few months of not seeing my family. I still remember the look on my mom's face when she saw me, I could see she was looking at a shell without anything inside it. Meanwhile, my ex had been posting weekly status updates about how much we love each other and how she can't wait to marry me.
Every day after Christmas, I would sneak out and stand on the bridge nearby, hoping someone or something would push me off it. Every single time, I would take too long and have to go back to her as she would start to question what I'm doing.
A week goes by and I get a random call from my mom telling me I should come see her when my ex is at work. My mom helps to plan my... Escape.. yeah I know wtf it's not a prison, just leave. As dumb as this sounds it felt like I had no option but to stay with her or else my life would be hell.
My mom helps me leave a week after new years. I leave and pack most of my things, but I stupidly go back a few days later to say goodbye. Well she manipulates me using her methods of control and a week later, I move back in with her. My mom later said to me that she thought she'd never see her real son again.
I'm back with her and all of a sudden it's like when we first met, she's a completely different person and I start to feel less empty and actually smile for once. A few months go by and I noticed she was being very protective over her phone. Now you might be like, well duh she was cheating on you beforehand. What's the problem now? Well the one tactic she used for me getting back with her was the fact she'd delete her old accounts and just add her closest friends.
Unfortunately, I am not good with social media so I had no idea what you can do to get away with things so I stupidly trusted her. Additionally, she no longer showed any signs of being untrust worthy during these few months. That was until she accidentally sent me a nude whilst I was at work which she never sent nudes to me. This was the moment I knew I fucked up, especially since I had moved back in with her and already signed a year contract for rent.
I didn't want to worry my parents financially as they were struggling themselves and I couldn't get a job elsewhere as I couldn't go for interviews without my ex realising I was going to leave her again. Months went by where I would plan my eventual end to no avail. She got so confident at cheating she'd do it whilst I was asleep and I just accepted it as I knew my situation would get insanely worse.
The tipping point comes as the year rent ends and I'm hospitalised due to bowel pain but it's actually just panic attacks. I remember my ex being so angry that she had to wait hours in the hospital for me to get out as she wanted to play a game with her friend.
This is when I realise I'm in danger if anything happens to me, she might not tell my family and I'll simply fade away into nothing.
A month goes by and I plan my second escape but it fails as she unexpectedly comes home from work so I delay it by a week. During that week she gets more physical and aggressive, I think she sensed something. I tried to not show her any hints of my escape plan. Just be normal I said to myself every second I spent with her. The day before I leave, she leaves for half a day and accidentally sends a picture to me with another man in a car. Whilst she told me it was her best friend who's not male picking her up.
For some reason, I decided to walk to the spot they were at. Bearing in mind it's evening and had gotten dark. I look down at the car with them inside and something tells me I should just jump off the nearby cliff but out of sheer luck a dog walker comes by and talks to me for a few minutes. I look down and noticed their car had disappeared so I ran back to the apartment and quickly got into bed pretending to be asleep. She arrived shortly afterwards and started to shout at me. I survive the night, she goes to work and I pack like crazy and finally escape the hell that I was in.
It's been almost two years and I have lost a lot of weight since, my mind isn't healed but I'm not in that prison with her. I've lost family members since due to health issues so I don't have many people left in my life. I will admit I'm scared for when my parents die as I'll have no one to talk to daily. I don't think I'll ever be in a relationship again and I think I've accepted that.
Fuck.... this is a long wall of text sorry people and I've left a lot out that's too bad to say. I just had to write some of this down I guess. I have no friends to talk to about this.
If you actually read all this, I'm sorry, I hope I don't bring down your day. What got me through it was my mom, please tell someone close to you that you love them as you never know what is around the corner.
submitted by Fun-Reality-3159 to TrueOffMyChest [link] [comments]
TLDR: I'm autistic and I wanted to be like a normal man in a relationship but it ended up being the worst few years of my life to the point of almost no return. I've been permanently changed by this relationship despite now being free.
I got with my ex during COVID through an app and I never thought I'd ever be in a relationship but we gelled together well... So I thought. During COVID the friends I had slowly faded away and I found myself focusing my social life on my ex more and more. After COVID settled down we moved in together and it was like an amazing dream. See, I'm autistic and have social anxiety so I never thought I'd experience any of this life style and be 'normal'.
I changed jobs at the same time for easier commute and as a bonus it had a higher salary. My ex also changed jobs to become full time to support the payments for bills but also to be within walking distance from our apartment. We started with an empty apartment and over time filled it to mostly my ex's taste as I had no idea what interior design to go for. I just cared about having a place of my own with my then girlfriend.
7 months go by... It all seemed well on the surface but there was an underlying problem within myself that was starting to grow. I missed my family a lot and this apartment we moved into was a long drive away. However, my ex's family was only 10 minutes max and we would visit them a lot each week. At best I'd see my family twice a month. Additionally, the friends I had made before COVID had stopped talking to me and all I had in my head was that they only talked to me because they wanted something out of me.
Another month goes by and I drive my family and my ex to a lovely place to celebrate my mom's birthday. On the very first night, we fall asleep in a luxurious bed when I'm awoken to talking. I woke up but didn't move a muscle and could hear my ex talking. I thought maybe she is sleep talking... I turn my head and nope. She has earphones in and her phone is lighting up the room. I can't see the screen but I listen for a minute before I started to have a panic attack. I realised during the entire relationship she had been cheating on me and using me just to pay half the bills. My whole body started shaking violently and I couldn't stop it for at least 10 minutes.
I was stuck in the middle of no where and I had to pretend to my whole family that every thing was fine, including to my ex. I proceeded to have daily panic attacks in the toilet and would blame my bowels for how long I was gone. This became more frequent as the months went by... You might be like... Months? Why didn't you leave her as soon as you got back?
Well, as stupid as this is. I just wanted to look normal for once. All my life I had been physically and emotionally bullied. I now also had been isolated to the point of all socialisation being my ex as I had now started to work from home due to her manipulation. I no longer left the apartment. I no longer enjoyed any of the hobbies I did have. The only weird joy I had was my ex when she rewarded me and that would soon fade as she became more emotionally and financially abusive. I would get screamed at for not doing basic things or buying something for myself and not saving it for her.
I could feel myself being like an onio, slowly peeled away, layer by layer. I had lost all of my personality and identity. I hadn't seen any of my family for months.
I remember having to beg whilst on my knees to my ex to see my family for Christmas and how she tried to say I didn't love her for seeing them and not being with her and her family on Christmas. That's despite my family losing a close family member a few days beforehand...
I seriously feel ashamed that I went to this low point in my life. The pursuit of being a normal person in a relationship had crumbled my existence to essentially being a robot for my ex to control how ever she wanted.
I had put on 50lb of fat within the few months of not seeing my family. I still remember the look on my mom's face when she saw me, I could see she was looking at a shell without anything inside it. Meanwhile, my ex had been posting weekly status updates about how much we love each other and how she can't wait to marry me.
Every day after Christmas, I would sneak out and stand on the bridge nearby, hoping someone or something would push me off it. Every single time, I would take too long and have to go back to her as she would start to question what I'm doing.
A week goes by and I get a random call from my mom telling me I should come see her when my ex is at work. My mom helps to plan my... Escape.. yeah I know wtf it's not a prison, just leave. As dumb as this sounds it felt like I had no option but to stay with her or else my life would be hell.
My mom helps me leave a week after new years. I leave and pack most of my things, but I stupidly go back a few days later to say goodbye. Well she manipulates me using her methods of control and a week later, I move back in with her. My mom later said to me that she thought she'd never see her real son again.
I'm back with her and all of a sudden it's like when we first met, she's a completely different person and I start to feel less empty and actually smile for once. A few months go by and I noticed she was being very protective over her phone. Now you might be like, well duh she was cheating on you beforehand. What's the problem now? Well the one tactic she used for me getting back with her was the fact she'd delete her old accounts and just add her closest friends.
Unfortunately, I am not good with social media so I had no idea what you can do to get away with things so I stupidly trusted her. Additionally, she no longer showed any signs of being untrust worthy during these few months. That was until she accidentally sent me a nude whilst I was at work which she never sent nudes to me. This was the moment I knew I fucked up, especially since I had moved back in with her and already signed a year contract for rent.
I didn't want to worry my parents financially as they were struggling themselves and I couldn't get a job elsewhere as I couldn't go for interviews without my ex realising I was going to leave her again. Months went by where I would plan my eventual end to no avail. She got so confident at cheating she'd do it whilst I was asleep and I just accepted it as I knew my situation would get insanely worse.
The tipping point comes as the year rent ends and I'm hospitalised due to bowel pain but it's actually just panic attacks. I remember my ex being so angry that she had to wait hours in the hospital for me to get out as she wanted to play a game with her friend.
This is when I realise I'm in danger if anything happens to me, she might not tell my family and I'll simply fade away into nothing.
A month goes by and I plan my second escape but it fails as she unexpectedly comes home from work so I delay it by a week. During that week she gets more physical and aggressive, I think she sensed something. I tried to not show her any hints of my escape plan. Just be normal I said to myself every second I spent with her. The day before I leave, she leaves for half a day and accidentally sends a picture to me with another man in a car. Whilst she told me it was her best friend who's not male picking her up.
For some reason, I decided to walk to the spot they were at. Bearing in mind it's evening and had gotten dark. I look down at the car with them inside and something tells me I should just jump off the nearby cliff but out of sheer luck a dog walker comes by and talks to me for a few minutes. I look down and noticed their car had disappeared so I ran back to the apartment and quickly got into bed pretending to be asleep. She arrived shortly afterwards and started to shout at me. I survive the night, she goes to work and I pack like crazy and finally escape the hell that I was in.
It's been almost two years and I have lost a lot of weight since, my mind isn't healed but I'm not in that prison with her. I've lost family members since due to health issues so I don't have many people left in my life. I will admit I'm scared for when my parents die as I'll have no one to talk to daily. I don't think I'll ever be in a relationship again and I think I've accepted that.
Fuck.... this is a long wall of text sorry people and I've left a lot out that's too bad to say. I just had to write some of this down I guess. I have no friends to talk to about this.
If you actually read all this, I'm sorry, I hope I don't bring down your day. What got me through it was my mom, please tell someone close to you that you love them as you never know what is around the corner.
2024.04.29 03:30 singleserve2020 I'm overweight, my sex life is dead, and I'm over it.
I'm posting mostly for solidarity. I had to buy new work clothes yesterday. I hated it. I spent $1000 on a wardrobe of really nice Calvin Klein dresses before I got pregnant. Sure, I can still zip those but I look pregnant when I wear them. So now I'm up 3 to 4 dresses sizes. Which wasn't that bad when I was trying the dresses on yesterday. I had accepted it before I start shopping.
What sent me over the edge was my husband showing my dad our vacation pictures on a massive TV screen. I look absolutely awful. I made some comment to my dad when my husband left the room and my dad was basically like yeah... you need to get an exercise routine going. I just want to scream.
I'm so depressed over my body. In all reality, I'm not that wrecked from having a baby. I'm just fat. I'm 12 weeks PP now. I feel like everything sucks right now. I haven't had sex since before I had my daughter. And even then, it was terrible. We had an incredible sex life before I got pregnant.
My marriage is more like a roommate situation, I'm fat, my nipples aren't mine, I can't smoke weed, and I don't even want to spend time with my baby. I look forward to going into work even though I really don't like my job.
I realize this is probably post partum depression but honestly, I don't want to deal with it. Everything feels hopeless and I want to just sit here. I don't care about losing weight or my relationship with my husband.
Send help.
submitted by singleserve2020 to Mommit [link] [comments]
What sent me over the edge was my husband showing my dad our vacation pictures on a massive TV screen. I look absolutely awful. I made some comment to my dad when my husband left the room and my dad was basically like yeah... you need to get an exercise routine going. I just want to scream.
I'm so depressed over my body. In all reality, I'm not that wrecked from having a baby. I'm just fat. I'm 12 weeks PP now. I feel like everything sucks right now. I haven't had sex since before I had my daughter. And even then, it was terrible. We had an incredible sex life before I got pregnant.
My marriage is more like a roommate situation, I'm fat, my nipples aren't mine, I can't smoke weed, and I don't even want to spend time with my baby. I look forward to going into work even though I really don't like my job.
I realize this is probably post partum depression but honestly, I don't want to deal with it. Everything feels hopeless and I want to just sit here. I don't care about losing weight or my relationship with my husband.
Send help.
2024.04.29 03:04 notryksjustme I (60f) just found out my late husband (m62) had a years long affair and may have a 10 year old child. How do I tell my 4 grown kids?
My husband died 3 1/2 years ago. I always thought we had such a good marriage. We rarely argued, always supported each other, we both worked and raised 4 kids together. In 2012 I started a Master’s Program so was away from home a few evenings a week. Our kids were all grown and moved away from home. My husband was so supportive. When I had tons of homework on the weekends, he would leave the house for the whole day so I could work undisturbed. Now I know why he never resented leaving me to go “visit” friends. He wasn’t visiting friends, he was spending time with his girlfriend.
I never had a clue. This is how I found out. Today I finally cleaned out his nightstand. I have cleaned everything else the last 3 1/2 years, his dresser, closet, tool shed, all his stuff from the garage but today I started emptying his nightstand. I found so much stuff. Cards and notes from her. A very expensive men’s watch and gold chain necklace I didn’t buy him and never saw him wear either. The notes were all signed Fred. With a heart around it.
I pulled out his phone, that I had saved. I charged it and opened it. I searched through all the messages for women’s names. Checked all the messages. All good. Then I noticed a Fred in his contacts. Fred was actually a Freda. About 40. All the pictures and. Yes she sent him showed her as quite fit and pretty. Everything was dated starting in 2012 while I was at school. Some of the pictures were in my home. He had her here while I was at school getting a degree. Many of the pictures were at her home with her kids. Then there was the ultrasound. And her asking him when he was going to tell me? When was he getting divorced.? She wanted this child to have its real father. He kept telling her soon. That he loved her, but didn’t want to hurt me.
I couldn’t stop reading. I felt like my heart was being ripped out of my chest. The last 9 years of my married life was a lie. The last messages (ultrasound/demands?) were late 2018. He told her he couldn’t leave me because I had cancer. He needed to concentrate on me and make what we thought were my last months good. They agreed to go no contact for a while.
He was the best husband during that time. Coming home early to help and cook dinner. Going to every appointment, staying with me in the hospital, supporting me and was my rock. I had a great surgeon and medical team and the cancerous tumors were removed. In April 2019, he got a text from her with a baby picture. It said “I have a son, you have an ugly fat sick wife.” Enjoy your life. I’m back with my ex.” There was no response from him to her, and no other exchanges.
I have been crying off and on all day. My daughter lives with me and keeps asking what is wrong. I told her it was really hard cleaning out her dad’s nightstand. Should I leave it at that, or destroy the image she has of her dad with what I found. My 4 kids have a little brother out there. Should I tell them or leave it be and play ignorant if he ever tries to contact us?
I thought I had moved on. I recently started dating and have felt in a good place but now this. I just don’t know how to handle this devastating situation.
submitted by notryksjustme to relationship_advice [link] [comments]
I never had a clue. This is how I found out. Today I finally cleaned out his nightstand. I have cleaned everything else the last 3 1/2 years, his dresser, closet, tool shed, all his stuff from the garage but today I started emptying his nightstand. I found so much stuff. Cards and notes from her. A very expensive men’s watch and gold chain necklace I didn’t buy him and never saw him wear either. The notes were all signed Fred. With a heart around it.
I pulled out his phone, that I had saved. I charged it and opened it. I searched through all the messages for women’s names. Checked all the messages. All good. Then I noticed a Fred in his contacts. Fred was actually a Freda. About 40. All the pictures and. Yes she sent him showed her as quite fit and pretty. Everything was dated starting in 2012 while I was at school. Some of the pictures were in my home. He had her here while I was at school getting a degree. Many of the pictures were at her home with her kids. Then there was the ultrasound. And her asking him when he was going to tell me? When was he getting divorced.? She wanted this child to have its real father. He kept telling her soon. That he loved her, but didn’t want to hurt me.
I couldn’t stop reading. I felt like my heart was being ripped out of my chest. The last 9 years of my married life was a lie. The last messages (ultrasound/demands?) were late 2018. He told her he couldn’t leave me because I had cancer. He needed to concentrate on me and make what we thought were my last months good. They agreed to go no contact for a while.
He was the best husband during that time. Coming home early to help and cook dinner. Going to every appointment, staying with me in the hospital, supporting me and was my rock. I had a great surgeon and medical team and the cancerous tumors were removed. In April 2019, he got a text from her with a baby picture. It said “I have a son, you have an ugly fat sick wife.” Enjoy your life. I’m back with my ex.” There was no response from him to her, and no other exchanges.
I have been crying off and on all day. My daughter lives with me and keeps asking what is wrong. I told her it was really hard cleaning out her dad’s nightstand. Should I leave it at that, or destroy the image she has of her dad with what I found. My 4 kids have a little brother out there. Should I tell them or leave it be and play ignorant if he ever tries to contact us?
I thought I had moved on. I recently started dating and have felt in a good place but now this. I just don’t know how to handle this devastating situation.
2024.04.29 02:49 Select-Big740 My autistic sister (24f) obsesses over and stalks guys that she finds attractive. What should I do?
My sister (24f) has autism and basically has the mind of a 6 year old girl, she has severe social issues and has no idea what love really is, in high school there was a group of 3 popular neurotypical guys that she obsessed over, stalked, harassed, due to finding them attractive. She didn't really know these guys, she never actually had a real conversation with them but saw them from afar, and would write notes for them and draw little pictures for them all the time and would give it to them (I witnessed myself them throwing them in the trash). One time she even made our mom drop off pizza at the school at lunch time to impress them by buying them a pizza lunch, even then they still wanted nothing to do with her despite accepting the pizza. She was obviously in special education classes and she had people in those classes who wanted to be her friend, she even had guys in those classes who were autistic like her that had crushes on her, but she deemed them as "ugly" (she actually called these guys ugly to their faces) and said she only wanted to date "cute guys".
Fast forward 6 years later she hasn't changed a bit and actually still stalks those 3 guys from high school, I have read the messages she sends to them, she begs them to give her a chance and be her boyfriend, threatens to harm herself if they don't date her and til this day she still has no friends, she spends all day in her bedroom playing with her toys (she still plays with dolls and stuffed animals) and watches the same kid shows and movies she watched from years before, she is not capable of having a job or even going to college, so she spends all day stalking guys that she finds attractive. Last year she started sending nudes to these guys and one of the guys saved the nudes to his phone and sent it to everyone in our family, even after that she still "likes" him and says she forgives him because "he's cute".
These guys have also called her ugly, ret*rded, fat, have told her to harm herself, have made fake dates with her only to send her to places and be stranded there alone (she doesn't drive, but she has access, so she can go wherever she wants) but she doesn't care that these guys treat her like garbage as long as they are attractive. I try to explain to her that looks aren't everything but she does not believe that, she under any circumstances will never settle for a guy that's "ugly" and nice, she said she would rather die than do that. She wants all these guys that will never want her back. She's also constantly on dating apps but because of her high standards she just ends up crying because none of the guys she wants want her. What should I do? this is getting out of hand.
submitted by Select-Big740 to Advice [link] [comments]
Fast forward 6 years later she hasn't changed a bit and actually still stalks those 3 guys from high school, I have read the messages she sends to them, she begs them to give her a chance and be her boyfriend, threatens to harm herself if they don't date her and til this day she still has no friends, she spends all day in her bedroom playing with her toys (she still plays with dolls and stuffed animals) and watches the same kid shows and movies she watched from years before, she is not capable of having a job or even going to college, so she spends all day stalking guys that she finds attractive. Last year she started sending nudes to these guys and one of the guys saved the nudes to his phone and sent it to everyone in our family, even after that she still "likes" him and says she forgives him because "he's cute".
These guys have also called her ugly, ret*rded, fat, have told her to harm herself, have made fake dates with her only to send her to places and be stranded there alone (she doesn't drive, but she has access, so she can go wherever she wants) but she doesn't care that these guys treat her like garbage as long as they are attractive. I try to explain to her that looks aren't everything but she does not believe that, she under any circumstances will never settle for a guy that's "ugly" and nice, she said she would rather die than do that. She wants all these guys that will never want her back. She's also constantly on dating apps but because of her high standards she just ends up crying because none of the guys she wants want her. What should I do? this is getting out of hand.
2024.04.29 02:41 LibrarianFar1476 [BoC] Keep Cutting or Lean Bulk? 30M 5’9 155lb
![[BoC] Keep Cutting or Lean Bulk? 30M 5’9 155lb](https://b.thumbs.redditmedia.com/61N5pZ52XKB4ypQ9YAPgZ3xSAeI78N0QCzf_Xpiv-Ec.jpg "[BoC] Keep Cutting or Lean Bulk? 30M 5’9 155lb") | First picture was 2022 at 210lb, second picture was January 2024 at 176lb, and the others are today at 155lb. Considering going into maintenance for a few months and then another cut to get rid of the back and lower stomach fat but would also like to work on building more muscle. Thinking I am around 19% bf. submitted by LibrarianFar1476 to BulkOrCut [link] [comments] |
2024.04.29 02:25 Legitimate_Tap_9852 How to tell how the bulk is going
 | Note this is me in the morning not flexing at all. Also, I am 18, and a beginner. I’m on my 2nd month of training. submitted by Legitimate_Tap_9852 to GregDoucette [link] [comments] Hey, I’m having a super hard time figuring out if I am gaining too much fat on a bulk. Essentially, photos from a month ago look the same (sadly, I am flexing in them so I can’t compare it to this one from this morning) but I feel like I have gained more body fat in my stomach, especially at night. At night my skin feels flabby and then I wake up it’s pretty tight again which doesn’t rly make sense to me. I have gained weight, however I did start creatine and before this I was eating a very low calorie diet (like 1200-1500 and I was losing a lot of weight now I’m at 2500). I’m making good progress in the gym, but I’m worried I’m overdoing it. Does anyone have any tips for keeping track of bodyfat besides pictures because they just don’t seem to be different whatsoever even as my weight increases. I am pretty anxious about my bodyfat and I don’t want to gain a shit ton so I want to go slow. Also- 1 note- I do eat a lot of fiber (I just happen to enjoy a lot of foods that have a shit ton of it, so probably at least 30g a day). Would that make my stomach look worse at night or cause any effect to my skin? |
2024.04.29 01:54 AmIJustBeingABaby I can't get over the fact that I'm not my boyfriend's "first".
I started having a crush on my bf when we were both in 11th grade. We were both a year older than the other kids so we were already 18. Like every person who has a crush on someone, I started fantasizing about him. Holding hands, hugging, kissing and other things. He was running around my mind the whole time.
We were both part of a group of friends consisting of both girls and guys, so that's how I started getting to know him. I can't remember how we started talking about sex but in a conversation he said that he's not a virgin, which absolutely crushed one of my dreams. I wanted my first time to be with a virgin guy. I was a little surprised because he didn't really seem like the type of person to already have done something like that. He's very childish and didn't seem that interested in anything other than his friends and playing games. It honestly crushed me and made me rethink the whole situation.
We eventually started dating at the beginning of December 2021. Within the first week i asked him about the "not being a virgin" thing. (Yes, I know it's not really a good thing to talk about so early in the relationship). He told me that he wasn't a virgin but has only done it twice with only one girl in the past. He told me every last detail: why, how and where it happened. They never dated, they just had fun together. Those details ended up making me even more sad.
He ended up taking my virginity about a month later. After seeing a photo of this girl, it was clear that she had a more mature face than me and a more attractive body than me. You know, bigger breasts and hips. She was posing in the photos and it was clear that she wasn't insecure at all.
I was never insecure about my body. I was fine with my breast size and I don't see myself as fat, but I am insecure about my wide hips and masculine shoulders. After seeing her picture I always find myself comparing myself to her and I fear that my bf is doing the same, even though he has told me many times that I have a beautiful body and that he loves it.
I am not a seductive person. Any time I'm in the mood I won't initiate anything untill it's clear my bf is in the mood aswell. I read through messages between my bf and his friends. They were from a long time ago but he was telling them how much it turned him on when he and this girl were spooning and she would start rubbing against him. I was questioning weither he finds me boring since I don't try to be seductive at all. In short, she has a more open sex drive than me and I fear it's effecting how he feels about me.
Not only am I sad that I'm not his "first" because it crushed my dream, but it made me very insecure about myself and our relationship. Not being his "first" haunts me still and I feel even worse knowing that the girl who was his "first" is much more attractive than me.
He doesn't really like talking about her since his experience with her was a huge regret, but due to other events I fear he stills thinks about her.
submitted by AmIJustBeingABaby to lifesuckshuh [link] [comments]
We were both part of a group of friends consisting of both girls and guys, so that's how I started getting to know him. I can't remember how we started talking about sex but in a conversation he said that he's not a virgin, which absolutely crushed one of my dreams. I wanted my first time to be with a virgin guy. I was a little surprised because he didn't really seem like the type of person to already have done something like that. He's very childish and didn't seem that interested in anything other than his friends and playing games. It honestly crushed me and made me rethink the whole situation.
We eventually started dating at the beginning of December 2021. Within the first week i asked him about the "not being a virgin" thing. (Yes, I know it's not really a good thing to talk about so early in the relationship). He told me that he wasn't a virgin but has only done it twice with only one girl in the past. He told me every last detail: why, how and where it happened. They never dated, they just had fun together. Those details ended up making me even more sad.
He ended up taking my virginity about a month later. After seeing a photo of this girl, it was clear that she had a more mature face than me and a more attractive body than me. You know, bigger breasts and hips. She was posing in the photos and it was clear that she wasn't insecure at all.
I was never insecure about my body. I was fine with my breast size and I don't see myself as fat, but I am insecure about my wide hips and masculine shoulders. After seeing her picture I always find myself comparing myself to her and I fear that my bf is doing the same, even though he has told me many times that I have a beautiful body and that he loves it.
I am not a seductive person. Any time I'm in the mood I won't initiate anything untill it's clear my bf is in the mood aswell. I read through messages between my bf and his friends. They were from a long time ago but he was telling them how much it turned him on when he and this girl were spooning and she would start rubbing against him. I was questioning weither he finds me boring since I don't try to be seductive at all. In short, she has a more open sex drive than me and I fear it's effecting how he feels about me.
Not only am I sad that I'm not his "first" because it crushed my dream, but it made me very insecure about myself and our relationship. Not being his "first" haunts me still and I feel even worse knowing that the girl who was his "first" is much more attractive than me.
He doesn't really like talking about her since his experience with her was a huge regret, but due to other events I fear he stills thinks about her.
2024.04.29 01:03 Technical_Pin7546 10 wks completed
 | I was just curious on thoughts of my progress. Completed 10 wks as of today w just 2 left and wondering what body fat % you think I may be .. fyi the last two pictures are from week one submitted by Technical_Pin7546 to LooksmaxingAdvice [link] [comments] |
2024.04.29 00:37 LogicallyNefarious I think this is me looking for help? Idk emotions are hard.
I didn't know what tag to put on this so here we go.
TW: Mentions of death, suicide, depression, anxiety, eating disorders, dysmorphia, C-PTSD,
I'm writing this without the intention of posting it, I'm uncertain if this is something I want to share, but, I feel as if I have no other choice. This is a lot, but I'm trying to trace things back to their possible beginnings. I have no idea if I'm doing this right, I hope that I am.
I ended up posting it.
SECTION ONE: DEATH & EDUCATION
I am a 20M, I don't use reddit for much. I'm born and raised in the United States and I'm GEN Z. I've been in college for almost 5 years and my grades are good for the most part despite my utter burnout. I have several mental conditions both diagnosed and some which I have discovered on my own. I intend to verify with some sort of mental health professional the ones I'm uncertain of. I am confirmed to have Generalized Anxiety Disorder, ADHD, Insomnia. However I believe that I also have some sort of eating disorder as when I'm anxious I eat a lot in order to stop thinking about it, BDD [Body Dysmorphic Disorder] which i'm 100% certain about and depression. My psychologist when I was in high school argued that I have complex PTSD relating to school/academic environments. While I'm not entirely sold on it myself I thought I would include it until I can get a second opinion.
When I was younger I had constantly been told that "You are so mature" and "You look so old/big" that it had become part of my personality, and part of the way I lived my life. I typically agreed with this when I was younger, I didn't find enjoyment in school in fact quite the opposite. I loathed it.
See, I was always the "bigger" kid. I mean big, like I had childhood obesity big. My parents weren't worried however because my doctor at the time had said something along the lines of "As he grows he'll shed some of the weight" however this was not the case whatsoever. I grew up with a lot of weight and when I was younger there was plenty of teasing and bullying. I discovered how cruel people could be when I was very young, as I wasn't as physically fit I found myself unable to have fun as there wasn't something I could go do where I sat away from people. My parents as wonderful as they are never seemed to be able to comprehend why I loathed school to the point where I was pretty much willing to say I had anything just not to go. I had told them how uncomfortable school makes me and they had once proposed to me and asked if I wanted to go to a different school. (We were well off in comparison to most of our area) However what little friends I did make I wanted to keep and I worried that as a new student at a different school I would draw even more attention.
Since I stayed I had to deal with the bullying, I was too afraid to leave what few friends I had. I never understood why they were mean to me. I had always been kind, and I hadn't been afraid to talk for myself however at a certain point I started to believe everything they said. So I started staying in my house more often, the neighbors who I had been friends with since I was very young I fell out with because I didn't want to be physically outside and risk embarrassing myself as I had always done. My favorite hobby was playing video games in the living room, I had nothing else besides my Nintendo DS for Pokémon or other games that my brother and I shared. Looking back I probably made a couple of people feel bad, but I had felt awful too. If I could go back I'd change it. However there is nothing I can do.
Eventually I just stopped letting myself be seen.
My brothers friends became my friends, however as time went on one of them utterly abandoned him because he came out as gay to this friend we'll call Chad. While I didn't know this at the time, one day one of the friends I had made core memories with simply disappeared and I never found out why until I was 16. The year after another one his friends (we'll call him Wedge) lost his sister to cancer, and he eventually stopped hanging out with us due to grief and an onset of mental illness. (I still communicate with him, but for private reasons I can't go into why I can't befriend him please understand). Eventually, another one of our friends (We'll call Jack) had also gotten cancer, he had survived but had been in and out of the hospital so much that we lost our connection. Lastly, the cousin (We'll call her Allison) I was closest with someone who I really related too suddenly dropped out of my life due to inter-family drama with our parents. Bare in mind, this all happened within the span of 2 years when I couldn't have been older than 6 or 7. I became used to people coming and going. In fact it's been the key theme in my life, that people will die, and are unfortunately temporary and I had to learn this young. Some family members had come around when my great grandfather was dying assuming he had money so they started hanging out with us only for them to depart shortly after his death after realizing there was nothing he had to give. I think subconsciously I had become emotionally jaded instead of mature. It didn't become any easier when people at my school killed themselves or tried to stab one another
So I gained a fear of abandonment. Future events didn't help it much either. While my brother began to despise talks about emotions (he was 5 years older than me) I began to need someone to talk to more and more.
My family never understood why I had so many issues with education despite doing so well. I had always been bad at communicating my feelings until recently (not that it has changed anything in my life) so they always believed that it was simply me being a boy and not wanting to go to school. This never changed until middle school, it took years for them to finally listen to me when I told them I get chronic migraines I even had a diagnosis for it alongside the CPTSD and GAD. Yet by this time it was too late for anything to be done. Education had been a nightmare for me, unsympathetic teachers, difficult administration that said they didn't believe me because I wasn't one to show I was anxious.
There's more, but I feel like I've painted a clear enough picture of my early childhood. One year my migraines had gotten so bad that I spent all 365 days inside without any connection, and the year after as well. I had been so anxious about high school that I dropped out in 10th grade, and got a GED through some loopholes. I went to college the semester after, entirely online.
So for four years I was locked inside a house. Four years. This doesn't even include all the issues I had dealt with in terms of parents, or the intricate social issues I had online which was my only source of interaction, and remains to be my only source of interaction. In fact 50% of my life was either in school or at home. There was no other location which I went too. I didn't have any friends as they had all ditched me for objectively more put together people in high school. Despite all my academic anxieties doing college online was a breeze for me, I got 4.0 GPA my first three semesters until I transferred.
But we'll come back to this. I want to go over some other things.
SECTION TWO: HOME & FAMILY
All I had was home and videogames. It was what kept me going. For the longest time I had to sit in the living room in order to play multiplayer games with strangers who often treated me better than people in real life. I eventually met some people I stayed friends with for 10 years, however around year 3 I realized that I had always been the but of their jokes, or one who was always worst one in the group. There was a bully of mine in that group, but I liked the other people so much that it was worth it. However anytime I said I didn't like how they made me feel I was met with further ridicule until eventually I simply decided to play with them only when they were on. However I had the burning desire to prove myself and that I wasn't the worst in the group like I had always been in my real life. However this took me years to accomplish and by the time I did it felt hollow.
My parents often would yell at me if I spoke too loud which is typical in most families, however the walls were paper thin, so too loud was talking at a casual indoor volume which often caused me a lot of embarrassment which they never seemed to care about. Sometimes they'd break my things and I'd get super sad and only after they realized how much pain they caused me would they do anything. They didn't realize that being online was one of the most important things to me when I was younger, I don't blame them, however . . .
It wasn't just online. It was vacations, hotel rooms, in public, in private spaces, school, or anything. Every vacation we had ever taken I cried on due to the yelling and bickering that took place between my parents who continually said that it was typical for both of them. However, it never felt like that and for some reason I was always caught in the middle. No matter where I was it always felt as if something was going to go wrong, like someone was going to embarrass me. While I'm aware now the only people they embarrassed was themselves, it is awful that I live with this and feel unable to be myself in any public space. Their justification always was that's how they always were and they always explained how it wasn't going to change and that I'd just have to learn how to live with it. I fear going anywhere with them.
While they're somewhat better now, I can't help but wish they were better then.
SECTION THREE: ONLINE DATING
Being locked in a house for so long does a number on you I think its something that most people can sympathize with at least now. You wish and long for social interaction craving the feeling of someone else around you and eventually it turns to this deep obsession and longing that you cant get rid of or replace. For me, the cure was hearing "I love you." I'm not physically attractive in person, at least not conventionally. I'm 350lbs, but I appear to carry it well so I actually look lighter than I actually am (Thank God). It's safe to say I'm not someone's first choice, and that's okay. I'm good at other things and have skills in other areas. I met a girl online one day and we became friends but we lost each other in school work, a year later we had met again online by chance alone and we spent time with one another. It lasted for about three years with intention to meet up, had I been more mature I'm sure the relationship would've lasted, but it was a right person wrong time situation. She was nice and caring and taught me a lot about religion, I too this day credit her for what little faith I have left in a God.
This isn't the first time I've dated online (by online I mean no physical contact not like dating apps), nor was I the first in my family. My brother had been dating his partner for about 6 years at that point, now he actually brings his partner over and stuff which was super nice to see. She built up my self confidence and practically said every word right when it needed to be said, eventually she cheated, she had come and told me immediately and against my better judgement I forgave her, and then at the end of the relationship she did it again. Was it stupid? Yep. Did I set myself up for it? Yeah. Does it still bother me? Sometimes. However, hearing those words were sweet and gave me a reason to wake up in the morning as stupid as it may sound.
Since then I haven't met anyone, nor do I think I could no matter how much I know it would make my life better. I wouldn't want to burden someone. Plus, I've never had anyone show any interest in me whatsoever, only time people have been willing to give me a chance is if they never saw how I looked and only experienced my personality. (This does wonders for my self-confidence) [clear sarcasm]
SECTION FOUR: WEIGHTLOSS & LACK OF FRIENDS
I've heard all manner of arguments against people who are obese. From the "Control yourself" argument or "eat a salad" or just simply "eat less." However these arguments often come from people who haven't ever dealt with the condition before. It makes life a struggle to live and one would think if things were that simple everyone would be physically fit. However this isn't the case. Yes, all of those things are important, but I've been trying to lose weight since I was 14. That is 6 going on 7 years. With BDD I look myself in the mirror in self hatred, and given that I have a bigger stomach its with me everywhere I go. I predominantly wear baggy clothes in order to cover this up, but even I know that they make me look even worse. The closest I ever got to being below 300 was 310, then I was put on a medication which made me suicidal and all this progress was gone because I had basically been put on home arrest by my family (reasonably so).
Even still, I haven't gotten that close in such a long time and I'm wondering if it'll ever look how I want too. I wonder if people will ever see me as someone other than that fat guy who is mostly socially awkward but can be funny sometimes. I never got to develop the necessary social skills for dealing with people that most kids who grow up bigger do. I don't have a fun sense of humor, I'm very dry, but I feel the need to be funny which never works out. I spent my whole life without friends to the point where I don't even know where to begin in making them.
The amount of sleepless nights ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Alright, now you know everything which leads up to my present day at my current campus and my current life. Thank you for reading up until this point, but now lets get into the finishing portion. Today and tomorrow.
FINAL SECTION: Today and Tomorrow
Remember how I said that I transferred colleges after my third semester? Well, I went to college at 16, and transferred at my last couple months as a 17 year old. I commute and it's about a 30min drive. (I don't know how to drive, COVID-19 ruined my chances at learning when I was supposed too.) At the time I just dropped off a distance away from the campus and walked there as I was embarassed that my parents had to still drive me. Freshmen Orientation was awful, I tried to make it good for myself but the people I was around wanted nothing to do with me and I knew why. I just wasn't good enough. I called the campus to see if there was anything that could be done, and the figured something out, however the second group was no different. I tried connecting with people who were having similar issues to me through digital means to arrange meetups on the campus however this went even worse and I was frequently ghosted. My psychologist at the time believed that I had become triggered from this experience on the first day of classes where I had a severe panic attack where I practically relived 20 years of pain in a couple of seconds. I was reduced to a blabbering mess wondering what I had done wrong, and where I went wrong.
See I had been told my whole life when I suffered through public school that college was going to be this wonderful experience where people find themselves and learn to do things all on their own. I was the first generation to go to college in my family and each person had told me these great things. To me it was pretty much my last vestige of hope. When it all went wrong I had been devastated. To this day I have tried to make friends, I do my best to approach first and be polite with those in my classes. I behave in a helpful fashion and always try to be useful to others. Yet time and time again I've failed. For the first three weeks of my first semester I didn't go to a single class due to horrible anxiety when my only hope was that for once in my life I could be myself.
With all this, I feel alienated, worthless, ugly. Something not worthy of love nor compassion from others, an outsider who doesn't belong. I've slowly carved at all the things I'm confident in out of my mind as I have become burnt out from years of being "so smart." Now I can barely lift a finger for an assignment that is two hours do from midnight either because I'm having a mental breakdown or I'm thinking about having a mental breakdown. I have so many conditions, fears, phobias, and health issues I feel as if my life would be better lived by someone else. All the love and praise I do receive from my professors and family feels wrong and despite my family trying to accommodate my unique needs it always seems like I have to clash with them in order for them to understand I am not the same as them as in I can't just function as they all do. I come from a very hardworking family so to them despite my conditions I'm just lazy and I don't understand how to deal with all of it.
It feels like I was in the character creator and decided to do all negative traits to see how long I would last before I die or go insane. Sometimes I don't know if I've grown to deal with it or if I have become numb to my own feelings and needs which have never been addressed. So with all of this, how do I live? How am I supposed do anything if I can't even do the simple things like go to classes or control how I respond to stress? I feel as if I'm missing out on everything from knowing what my body can possibly do if it was fit, to not getting the social experience I need and so desperately crave even though I know I don't belong.
Everyone responds to life differently and I hope everyone can understand that what may not bother you could bother someone else. I hope people understand I'm not trying to sound cringe or anything, but genuinely receive some form of help. I probably didn't do how I'm feeling justice, or what I've experienced, but this is my first time expressing myself in a online setting.
Good luck everyone! I hope everyone is doing well and if you aren't were in this together.
submitted by LogicallyNefarious to Healthygamergg [link] [comments]
TW: Mentions of death, suicide, depression, anxiety, eating disorders, dysmorphia, C-PTSD,
I'm writing this without the intention of posting it, I'm uncertain if this is something I want to share, but, I feel as if I have no other choice. This is a lot, but I'm trying to trace things back to their possible beginnings. I have no idea if I'm doing this right, I hope that I am.
I ended up posting it.
SECTION ONE: DEATH & EDUCATION
I am a 20M, I don't use reddit for much. I'm born and raised in the United States and I'm GEN Z. I've been in college for almost 5 years and my grades are good for the most part despite my utter burnout. I have several mental conditions both diagnosed and some which I have discovered on my own. I intend to verify with some sort of mental health professional the ones I'm uncertain of. I am confirmed to have Generalized Anxiety Disorder, ADHD, Insomnia. However I believe that I also have some sort of eating disorder as when I'm anxious I eat a lot in order to stop thinking about it, BDD [Body Dysmorphic Disorder] which i'm 100% certain about and depression. My psychologist when I was in high school argued that I have complex PTSD relating to school/academic environments. While I'm not entirely sold on it myself I thought I would include it until I can get a second opinion.
When I was younger I had constantly been told that "You are so mature" and "You look so old/big" that it had become part of my personality, and part of the way I lived my life. I typically agreed with this when I was younger, I didn't find enjoyment in school in fact quite the opposite. I loathed it.
See, I was always the "bigger" kid. I mean big, like I had childhood obesity big. My parents weren't worried however because my doctor at the time had said something along the lines of "As he grows he'll shed some of the weight" however this was not the case whatsoever. I grew up with a lot of weight and when I was younger there was plenty of teasing and bullying. I discovered how cruel people could be when I was very young, as I wasn't as physically fit I found myself unable to have fun as there wasn't something I could go do where I sat away from people. My parents as wonderful as they are never seemed to be able to comprehend why I loathed school to the point where I was pretty much willing to say I had anything just not to go. I had told them how uncomfortable school makes me and they had once proposed to me and asked if I wanted to go to a different school. (We were well off in comparison to most of our area) However what little friends I did make I wanted to keep and I worried that as a new student at a different school I would draw even more attention.
Since I stayed I had to deal with the bullying, I was too afraid to leave what few friends I had. I never understood why they were mean to me. I had always been kind, and I hadn't been afraid to talk for myself however at a certain point I started to believe everything they said. So I started staying in my house more often, the neighbors who I had been friends with since I was very young I fell out with because I didn't want to be physically outside and risk embarrassing myself as I had always done. My favorite hobby was playing video games in the living room, I had nothing else besides my Nintendo DS for Pokémon or other games that my brother and I shared. Looking back I probably made a couple of people feel bad, but I had felt awful too. If I could go back I'd change it. However there is nothing I can do.
Eventually I just stopped letting myself be seen.
My brothers friends became my friends, however as time went on one of them utterly abandoned him because he came out as gay to this friend we'll call Chad. While I didn't know this at the time, one day one of the friends I had made core memories with simply disappeared and I never found out why until I was 16. The year after another one his friends (we'll call him Wedge) lost his sister to cancer, and he eventually stopped hanging out with us due to grief and an onset of mental illness. (I still communicate with him, but for private reasons I can't go into why I can't befriend him please understand). Eventually, another one of our friends (We'll call Jack) had also gotten cancer, he had survived but had been in and out of the hospital so much that we lost our connection. Lastly, the cousin (We'll call her Allison) I was closest with someone who I really related too suddenly dropped out of my life due to inter-family drama with our parents. Bare in mind, this all happened within the span of 2 years when I couldn't have been older than 6 or 7. I became used to people coming and going. In fact it's been the key theme in my life, that people will die, and are unfortunately temporary and I had to learn this young. Some family members had come around when my great grandfather was dying assuming he had money so they started hanging out with us only for them to depart shortly after his death after realizing there was nothing he had to give. I think subconsciously I had become emotionally jaded instead of mature. It didn't become any easier when people at my school killed themselves or tried to stab one another
So I gained a fear of abandonment. Future events didn't help it much either. While my brother began to despise talks about emotions (he was 5 years older than me) I began to need someone to talk to more and more.
My family never understood why I had so many issues with education despite doing so well. I had always been bad at communicating my feelings until recently (not that it has changed anything in my life) so they always believed that it was simply me being a boy and not wanting to go to school. This never changed until middle school, it took years for them to finally listen to me when I told them I get chronic migraines I even had a diagnosis for it alongside the CPTSD and GAD. Yet by this time it was too late for anything to be done. Education had been a nightmare for me, unsympathetic teachers, difficult administration that said they didn't believe me because I wasn't one to show I was anxious.
There's more, but I feel like I've painted a clear enough picture of my early childhood. One year my migraines had gotten so bad that I spent all 365 days inside without any connection, and the year after as well. I had been so anxious about high school that I dropped out in 10th grade, and got a GED through some loopholes. I went to college the semester after, entirely online.
So for four years I was locked inside a house. Four years. This doesn't even include all the issues I had dealt with in terms of parents, or the intricate social issues I had online which was my only source of interaction, and remains to be my only source of interaction. In fact 50% of my life was either in school or at home. There was no other location which I went too. I didn't have any friends as they had all ditched me for objectively more put together people in high school. Despite all my academic anxieties doing college online was a breeze for me, I got 4.0 GPA my first three semesters until I transferred.
But we'll come back to this. I want to go over some other things.
SECTION TWO: HOME & FAMILY
All I had was home and videogames. It was what kept me going. For the longest time I had to sit in the living room in order to play multiplayer games with strangers who often treated me better than people in real life. I eventually met some people I stayed friends with for 10 years, however around year 3 I realized that I had always been the but of their jokes, or one who was always worst one in the group. There was a bully of mine in that group, but I liked the other people so much that it was worth it. However anytime I said I didn't like how they made me feel I was met with further ridicule until eventually I simply decided to play with them only when they were on. However I had the burning desire to prove myself and that I wasn't the worst in the group like I had always been in my real life. However this took me years to accomplish and by the time I did it felt hollow.
My parents often would yell at me if I spoke too loud which is typical in most families, however the walls were paper thin, so too loud was talking at a casual indoor volume which often caused me a lot of embarrassment which they never seemed to care about. Sometimes they'd break my things and I'd get super sad and only after they realized how much pain they caused me would they do anything. They didn't realize that being online was one of the most important things to me when I was younger, I don't blame them, however . . .
It wasn't just online. It was vacations, hotel rooms, in public, in private spaces, school, or anything. Every vacation we had ever taken I cried on due to the yelling and bickering that took place between my parents who continually said that it was typical for both of them. However, it never felt like that and for some reason I was always caught in the middle. No matter where I was it always felt as if something was going to go wrong, like someone was going to embarrass me. While I'm aware now the only people they embarrassed was themselves, it is awful that I live with this and feel unable to be myself in any public space. Their justification always was that's how they always were and they always explained how it wasn't going to change and that I'd just have to learn how to live with it. I fear going anywhere with them.
While they're somewhat better now, I can't help but wish they were better then.
SECTION THREE: ONLINE DATING
Being locked in a house for so long does a number on you I think its something that most people can sympathize with at least now. You wish and long for social interaction craving the feeling of someone else around you and eventually it turns to this deep obsession and longing that you cant get rid of or replace. For me, the cure was hearing "I love you." I'm not physically attractive in person, at least not conventionally. I'm 350lbs, but I appear to carry it well so I actually look lighter than I actually am (Thank God). It's safe to say I'm not someone's first choice, and that's okay. I'm good at other things and have skills in other areas. I met a girl online one day and we became friends but we lost each other in school work, a year later we had met again online by chance alone and we spent time with one another. It lasted for about three years with intention to meet up, had I been more mature I'm sure the relationship would've lasted, but it was a right person wrong time situation. She was nice and caring and taught me a lot about religion, I too this day credit her for what little faith I have left in a God.
This isn't the first time I've dated online (by online I mean no physical contact not like dating apps), nor was I the first in my family. My brother had been dating his partner for about 6 years at that point, now he actually brings his partner over and stuff which was super nice to see. She built up my self confidence and practically said every word right when it needed to be said, eventually she cheated, she had come and told me immediately and against my better judgement I forgave her, and then at the end of the relationship she did it again. Was it stupid? Yep. Did I set myself up for it? Yeah. Does it still bother me? Sometimes. However, hearing those words were sweet and gave me a reason to wake up in the morning as stupid as it may sound.
Since then I haven't met anyone, nor do I think I could no matter how much I know it would make my life better. I wouldn't want to burden someone. Plus, I've never had anyone show any interest in me whatsoever, only time people have been willing to give me a chance is if they never saw how I looked and only experienced my personality. (This does wonders for my self-confidence) [clear sarcasm]
SECTION FOUR: WEIGHTLOSS & LACK OF FRIENDS
I've heard all manner of arguments against people who are obese. From the "Control yourself" argument or "eat a salad" or just simply "eat less." However these arguments often come from people who haven't ever dealt with the condition before. It makes life a struggle to live and one would think if things were that simple everyone would be physically fit. However this isn't the case. Yes, all of those things are important, but I've been trying to lose weight since I was 14. That is 6 going on 7 years. With BDD I look myself in the mirror in self hatred, and given that I have a bigger stomach its with me everywhere I go. I predominantly wear baggy clothes in order to cover this up, but even I know that they make me look even worse. The closest I ever got to being below 300 was 310, then I was put on a medication which made me suicidal and all this progress was gone because I had basically been put on home arrest by my family (reasonably so).
Even still, I haven't gotten that close in such a long time and I'm wondering if it'll ever look how I want too. I wonder if people will ever see me as someone other than that fat guy who is mostly socially awkward but can be funny sometimes. I never got to develop the necessary social skills for dealing with people that most kids who grow up bigger do. I don't have a fun sense of humor, I'm very dry, but I feel the need to be funny which never works out. I spent my whole life without friends to the point where I don't even know where to begin in making them.
The amount of sleepless nights ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Alright, now you know everything which leads up to my present day at my current campus and my current life. Thank you for reading up until this point, but now lets get into the finishing portion. Today and tomorrow.
FINAL SECTION: Today and Tomorrow
Remember how I said that I transferred colleges after my third semester? Well, I went to college at 16, and transferred at my last couple months as a 17 year old. I commute and it's about a 30min drive. (I don't know how to drive, COVID-19 ruined my chances at learning when I was supposed too.) At the time I just dropped off a distance away from the campus and walked there as I was embarassed that my parents had to still drive me. Freshmen Orientation was awful, I tried to make it good for myself but the people I was around wanted nothing to do with me and I knew why. I just wasn't good enough. I called the campus to see if there was anything that could be done, and the figured something out, however the second group was no different. I tried connecting with people who were having similar issues to me through digital means to arrange meetups on the campus however this went even worse and I was frequently ghosted. My psychologist at the time believed that I had become triggered from this experience on the first day of classes where I had a severe panic attack where I practically relived 20 years of pain in a couple of seconds. I was reduced to a blabbering mess wondering what I had done wrong, and where I went wrong.
See I had been told my whole life when I suffered through public school that college was going to be this wonderful experience where people find themselves and learn to do things all on their own. I was the first generation to go to college in my family and each person had told me these great things. To me it was pretty much my last vestige of hope. When it all went wrong I had been devastated. To this day I have tried to make friends, I do my best to approach first and be polite with those in my classes. I behave in a helpful fashion and always try to be useful to others. Yet time and time again I've failed. For the first three weeks of my first semester I didn't go to a single class due to horrible anxiety when my only hope was that for once in my life I could be myself.
With all this, I feel alienated, worthless, ugly. Something not worthy of love nor compassion from others, an outsider who doesn't belong. I've slowly carved at all the things I'm confident in out of my mind as I have become burnt out from years of being "so smart." Now I can barely lift a finger for an assignment that is two hours do from midnight either because I'm having a mental breakdown or I'm thinking about having a mental breakdown. I have so many conditions, fears, phobias, and health issues I feel as if my life would be better lived by someone else. All the love and praise I do receive from my professors and family feels wrong and despite my family trying to accommodate my unique needs it always seems like I have to clash with them in order for them to understand I am not the same as them as in I can't just function as they all do. I come from a very hardworking family so to them despite my conditions I'm just lazy and I don't understand how to deal with all of it.
It feels like I was in the character creator and decided to do all negative traits to see how long I would last before I die or go insane. Sometimes I don't know if I've grown to deal with it or if I have become numb to my own feelings and needs which have never been addressed. So with all of this, how do I live? How am I supposed do anything if I can't even do the simple things like go to classes or control how I respond to stress? I feel as if I'm missing out on everything from knowing what my body can possibly do if it was fit, to not getting the social experience I need and so desperately crave even though I know I don't belong.
Everyone responds to life differently and I hope everyone can understand that what may not bother you could bother someone else. I hope people understand I'm not trying to sound cringe or anything, but genuinely receive some form of help. I probably didn't do how I'm feeling justice, or what I've experienced, but this is my first time expressing myself in a online setting.
Good luck everyone! I hope everyone is doing well and if you aren't were in this together.
2024.04.29 00:02 ziploc_baggie How do I tell my boyfriend I love his tummy?
My (21f) boyfriend (21m) is extremely attractive to me. He has big muscles, he’s tall, he has such nice features, everything about him I love. He also happens to have a bit of a tummy, which I love as much as every other part of him. Picture a muscular dad bod or teddy bear physique. He seems very self-conscious of his stomach, and even calls himself disgusting sometimes, and it breaks my heart because I think he’s gorgeous. I was just wondering, how can I convince him that he is absolutely perfect the way he is? I don’t want to make him feel like he is fat, because he’s not actually fat, but I also want him to understand we all have some fat and fat should not have a negative connotation as long as you’re happy and healthy and it’s actually a part of him that I am very attracted to. How can I express this to him? He’s a very soft-hearted, sweet man, and I don’t want to hurt his feelings.
submitted by ziploc_baggie to TooAfraidToAsk [link] [comments]
2024.04.28 23:57 StcStasi This guy commented on this woman's picture calling her fat and ugly. This guy.
 | submitted by StcStasi to SipsTea [link] [comments] |
2024.04.28 23:45 Aneriox Imagine being on a hospital bed and taking a picture of the nurse tending to you so that you can fat shame her on social media
 | submitted by Aneriox to facepalm [link] [comments] |
2024.04.28 23:39 tallfux [WTS] EMP EDC Nymble T Honeycomb DLC/Blackwash Mokuti, Ritter Mini RSK 20CV, Isonzo Hawkbill Fat Carbon, Kansept Kryo Ti, Kizer Begleiter 2
Need to move some of these knives that I needed to have, but never got any pocket time. Hope to send off to a good home.
Total Timestamp: https://imgur.com/a/buz54eq
If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to ask!
Edit: Typo on RSK price. Fixed to be $130.
submitted by tallfux to Knife_Swap [link] [comments]
Total Timestamp: https://imgur.com/a/buz54eq
EMP EDC Nymble T (Honeycomb, M390 DLC/Blackwash, Mokuti Kit) No Original Clip/Screws - $240 – Holy cow I wish I could get myself to use this beauty. But I can’t. Purchased pre-ordered in the first run of these along with Mokuti Kit. Never cut or carried this one. Only disassembled for the Mokuti Kit install. The knife is gorgeous in all black, with the Mokuti hardware & honeycomb scales. Now please be aware of two things – 1. Note the blemish pointed out in the video, and 2. That everything BUT the original Clip & Hardware is included. This is for a reason. I had a hell of a time with the original Screws & Clip. The hex screws were weak, and easily stripped – this led to a nightmare of a disassembly where the original screws and most unfortunately the original clip were damaged. All else is great, but that was not fun.SOLD Video: https://imgur.com/a/5LuwSHM- Doug Ritter Mini-RSK MK1 (Black G2, Stonewash 20CV) - $130 - LNIB. Carried once and cut once to test sharpness. I kept full size RSK but have to let go of this one due to size. Knife is brand new, I’m original owner, and comes with all box contents. Smooth action – awesome knife. Video: https://imgur.com/a/ONfEXqV
MKM Isonzo Hawkbill (Lava Fat Carbon, DLC M390 Hawkbill) - $100 - Like above, BNIB. Picked it up in new in 2022. Original owner, never carried, used, or modified. Condition is perfect. Blade is factory edge and centered. Comes with Box and all contents.SOLD bundle with Kizer for $130 Video: https://imgur.com/a/WfKSewe- Kansept Kryo (Ti Blue, S35VN Tanto) - $140 - BNIB. This thing is gorgeous. Picked it up in new in 2022 as it’s only owner. Never carried, used, or modified it. Condition is excellent. The factory edge on the blade is intact and sharp. Centering is good, and action is smooth. Comes with Box and all contents. Video: https://imgur.com/a/ZzrwVG5
Kizer Begleiter 2 (Red Carbon Fiber, 154CM) - $55 - BNIB. Picked it up in new in 2022 from SMKW. Might be the most frictionless drop-shut button lock I’ve ever owned. Original owner, never carried, used, or modified it. Condition is fantastic. Blade is factory edge and centered. Comes with Box and all contents.SOLD bundle with Hawk Bill for $130 Video: https://imgur.com/a/E3FGQn4
If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to ask!
Edit: Typo on RSK price. Fixed to be $130.
2024.04.28 23:14 Competitive_Sale_787 struggling with communication with my mom
hi so today I was supposed to go to the shopping mall and get some bras. I went alone but mg mom told me to message her in case I needed advice. I am nonbinary (born female) and I get really uncomfortable when buying underwear but my mom doesn't really care Abt that but I was really struggling. The shop I went to moved their underwear section and made it very visible to the whole shop and all the items where very revealing and mesh and very like sexy? idk what to call it and I was dying a bit and none of the bras whee my size and when I finally found some in my size I just went to the changing room to hide. The music was loud there where a lot of people and I was really overwhelmed so I was messaging my mom and telling her how terrible it was and trying to get some advice from her but she was not answering after an out she responded. I waited around the shop with the stupid bras in my hand with the tons of noise a shit ton of gender dysphoria and just general dysphoria for an hour. I looked at like 7 different bras and I looked like shit in all of them and o just felt so so bad. Finally when she responded when didn't even give me advice she just said to get the ones that I said where "ok I guess" and that we could always return them. I was so upset no cheering up no support nothing she was like a wall. I bought them and was so upset I stopped responding when she messaged me abt a package or smth and got ice cream (they even got it wrong but I was to upset to make then redo it) and I was so mad I just went home and when my mom came home I told her leave me alone and ate dinner in my room and the dessert. I guess we worked it out but not really she wasn't really sorry she just blamed it on something and said she was sorry but it was not her fault and I guess she was right but I just feel so hurt still she does this often and I just really needed some support and I got nothing and then a apology which ment nothing. Am I too sensitive and I should just chill like my mom said or was I in the write and also how do I make her stop doing this. it's usually the fat of her job and she said she can't control it and I understand that but she told me that she would help me out that we can call ot text or smth that I would at least get a bit of support. I don't have anyone else who I can call in there situations (my dad is out of the picture) and I don't feel comfortable with my friends like that and it was just so horrible.
submitted by Competitive_Sale_787 to Advice [link] [comments]
2024.04.28 22:49 mirgehtsgutdanke Hating myself
Tonight my insecurity is hitting me so hard. I knew that I gained a little bit of weight and I haven’t been feeling great about that but I’m fixing it and have stopped binging for a week straight which has made me feel good.
This weekend I was out with my bf’s friends and there were some group pictures and I feel just terrible, I feel like I look just awful. I keep looking at myself and thinking how red my face always looks and how big I look. I really feel insecure and I have so many thoughts entering my head which are making me feel so bad about myself.
Like I am just huge. My body isn’t attractive, my posture is bad, my bf is so much more attractive than me. People probably thinking that I’m not skinny or pretty enough to be with my bf or that he deserves someone less fat than me. I look so bad because my skin is always red and it’s really noticable. I usually wouldn’t think like this but something about looking at the group pictures makes me feel so negative about the way I look and I feel bad about putting on some of the weight.
My eyes are stinging I just keep feeling the tears trickling out I feel so horrible about myself and it’s not nice to end the weekend this way when I was so happy when we were all hanging out together.
submitted by mirgehtsgutdanke to Advice [link] [comments]
This weekend I was out with my bf’s friends and there were some group pictures and I feel just terrible, I feel like I look just awful. I keep looking at myself and thinking how red my face always looks and how big I look. I really feel insecure and I have so many thoughts entering my head which are making me feel so bad about myself.
Like I am just huge. My body isn’t attractive, my posture is bad, my bf is so much more attractive than me. People probably thinking that I’m not skinny or pretty enough to be with my bf or that he deserves someone less fat than me. I look so bad because my skin is always red and it’s really noticable. I usually wouldn’t think like this but something about looking at the group pictures makes me feel so negative about the way I look and I feel bad about putting on some of the weight.
My eyes are stinging I just keep feeling the tears trickling out I feel so horrible about myself and it’s not nice to end the weekend this way when I was so happy when we were all hanging out together.
2024.04.28 20:52 Much_Relationship309 Weird bump on my chest
Hello, everyone! I discovered a weird bump on my upper chest today. (The redness is just from exercising) I’ve recently lost some weight and that might have revealed it. It’s fairly large, a bit squishy and a bit tender but no pain. Looking back at pictures I might have had this bump for over a year but I must not have noticed it before. I lift weights and my body weight fluctuates through the year so it has probably been hidden underneath the fat. Any idea as to what it might be? Google will obviously tell you it’s cancer but I won’t be too quick to believe that. I will get this checked out soon but if anyone has had a similar experience please let me know! Thank you.
submitted by Much_Relationship309 to DiagnoseMe [link] [comments]
2024.04.28 20:16 Mysterious_Job_8443 Bleach after Color Remover?
 | My hair Is currently black with red to blonde ‘ghost roots’ unintentionally LOL. But I want to use color remover and then bleach to get to the point where I can dye it ginger and blonde. I’m naturally a dishwater sorta blonde with natural highlights, and haven’t dyed my hair in a couple months (It grows relatively fast so my roots are FAT!) I’d say my hair is really healthy, I take good care of it. Weird picture I put but it shows my hair relatively okay. So yeah LOL- just wondering if I can use OOPS! color remover and then SPLAT bleach and I think a different brand hair dye… I DO plan on doing a test strand but is it a good idea? submitted by Mysterious_Job_8443 to haircoloring [link] [comments] |
2024.04.28 19:50 ConsequenceOk5740 125 down, new tattoo to celebrate.
 | It’s been a damn long road but I’m getting pretty close to where I wanna be, very exciting. Was taking pictures of the new tattoo in the mirror yesterday and even though I look in the mirror every day, seeing the pictures of myself really made me see the progress. Couldn’t have come this far without the support of this sub, some of you guys are so sweet. submitted by ConsequenceOk5740 to CICO [link] [comments] Counting calories genuinely changed my life. I had always known that calories were important, I grew up fat so lots of visits to nutritionists and dietitians when I was a kid. I don’t know I was never serious enough about wanting to lose the weight that I wasn’t willing to track my calories (as if it’s hard lol). Not sure exactly what changed my mindset but once I got the kitchen scale everything changed. Started weighing everything I ate, counting my calories, and losing weight. I’ve just got a Few more lbs to go here 💪. What I wasn’t expecting was to fall in love with cooking again. I’ve always enjoyed cooking, or rather eating, but it was always utility for me. What can I cook without washing dishes, what will be quick so I can plop myself on the couch and binge. Now, I pay attention to my macros, and make food that I’m proud to be eating. I live alone and cook for nobody but I still spend extra time every day trying to make my plates look good. I wake up an hour earlier to put together a beautiful lunch for work rather than skipping it and binging when I get home. What I’m trying to say is I’ve got a totally different relationship with food now. I get excited over stupid shit like lentils lol. It finally feels good to eat rather than shameful. Starting weight: at least 300, current weight 174. Goal is somewhere around 150-160 depends on how I look in the mirror I suppose |
2024.04.28 19:38 mrkillfeed I hate being called muscular
I was the shitty ass nerdy fat kid when I was younger, I was called names, easy one to pick on, and stereotypical "I am the fat kid and I hated it" type bullshit, hated how I looked that I avoided my reflection or seeing any pictures of myself, the only memories I had of myself looking at the mirror is that I am a fat ugly bitch or crying too myself on how much I hated myself. There was a moment in my life that I cowardly planned to something bad, because it was too much but I was also conflicted that if I got thinner, maybe people would like me? maybe I would be more confident? maybe I would be happy with myself. I started working out trying to lose a lot of weight, in that process I got into lifting weights and the gym in general. I got enough progress that by the end of the year I looked different, and some people were noticing a different with me, I felt a bit happy yet hollow, my thought process is that if I lost weight and gain muscle maybe I would feel happier.
start working to a point where I made a significant different, my jawline was good, I was vascular, and had decent musculature. in that process I felt small, skinny, and weak. a lot of people put labeled me a the "gym guy" because that all I did, and I didn't mind it that much. Within that time, I got called by a girl and a group of her friends, she said she wanted to lick my sweat and if I got a crush on her would I be with her or something around those words, at the time I felt weird, maybe happy? I did not know how to respond or what to do? was that a compliment? Damn! I got compliment by a girl for the first time, but I did not know anything of this girl and that happened. I didn't make a move because I didn't like or know anything about her, and I felt like I was supposed to do something because some of my classmates were encouraging it. after school was over and I was getting ready for college, I didn't know what to feel after that and I don't till this day, I felt like I lost an opportunity that I didn't want to take.
in the summer just wanted to get bigger, I dirty bulked to a point that yes, I looked bigger, but I gained a lot fat too, I started to hate how I looked again so I tried to lose weight again, but I got scared that I would lose muscle, so I didn't do anything about it. I felt like that fat kid again, but people labeled me as muscular and I hated that, I felt that I wasn't worthy to be called that. I felt that all that I was labeled muscular while I am not, that's all that I was and nothing more, felt that I couldn't connect with people as well as and all that is brought of me is that I am muscular. I feel like I would like to blame me not connecting or even talking with people with being muscular, but I know is me being a coward, unable to change. A fat loser at heart.
A bit dumb and goes long, but yeah lol
submitted by mrkillfeed to Vent [link] [comments]
start working to a point where I made a significant different, my jawline was good, I was vascular, and had decent musculature. in that process I felt small, skinny, and weak. a lot of people put labeled me a the "gym guy" because that all I did, and I didn't mind it that much. Within that time, I got called by a girl and a group of her friends, she said she wanted to lick my sweat and if I got a crush on her would I be with her or something around those words, at the time I felt weird, maybe happy? I did not know how to respond or what to do? was that a compliment? Damn! I got compliment by a girl for the first time, but I did not know anything of this girl and that happened. I didn't make a move because I didn't like or know anything about her, and I felt like I was supposed to do something because some of my classmates were encouraging it. after school was over and I was getting ready for college, I didn't know what to feel after that and I don't till this day, I felt like I lost an opportunity that I didn't want to take.
in the summer just wanted to get bigger, I dirty bulked to a point that yes, I looked bigger, but I gained a lot fat too, I started to hate how I looked again so I tried to lose weight again, but I got scared that I would lose muscle, so I didn't do anything about it. I felt like that fat kid again, but people labeled me as muscular and I hated that, I felt that I wasn't worthy to be called that. I felt that all that I was labeled muscular while I am not, that's all that I was and nothing more, felt that I couldn't connect with people as well as and all that is brought of me is that I am muscular. I feel like I would like to blame me not connecting or even talking with people with being muscular, but I know is me being a coward, unable to change. A fat loser at heart.
A bit dumb and goes long, but yeah lol
2024.04.28 18:58 meowtoot My acupuncturist recommended me this book telling me gluten allergies were a lie
Safe to say I will not be returning
submitted by meowtoot to glutenfree [link] [comments]