The Great Depression had a significant and lasting impact on society, especially in the Dust Bowl states. Oklahoma suffered the worst and is still suffering from its effects. The stock market crashed in 1929. This was 11 years after the end of WWI when a lot of working age men were killed. My father was 19 years old. Children age 4 and older had to go to work in the fields harvesting and hoeing weeds. My maternal grandmother who was born in 1932 cut broomcorn and picked cotton by hand. The International Harvester for cotton was invented in 1940, but only came into widespread use by 1970. The broomcorn industry died out in 1980. Older boys age 11 and up went to work in sawmills and the trades. Watch the movie Walk the Line. Johnny Cash’s older brother of 14 was almost cut vertically in half when he slipped and was cut through the sternum by a large saw blade. Can you imagine being that young and handling dangerous machinery with no safety equipment? Safety equipment didn’t exist back then and neither did child labor laws. Those old Boomer children worked just as hard as adults to help feed their families. They were punished for playing. They had to suck it up and endure extreme hardship just to eat and they ate very little. Everyone was starving and filthy. There was as no indoor plumbing, no electricity and no air conditioning. I watched my grandmother work from sun up to exhaustion and she slept in her clothes. When she died, her bra strap hooks were rusted from sweat because she never removed it, meaning she hadn’t bathed in decades. She was 4-8” and wore a child size medium. She was conditioned to hard work and starvation. She and her family including my mother never overcame the effects of the Depression. She was functionally illiterate despite graduating high school in 1948.
Education stopped at third-fourth grade for the average child because parents were extremely poor and couldn’t afford to pay for schooling. School was different then. Teachers lived in a teacherage provided by the school district and earned a living stipend from the state to teach grades 1-4 how to read, write, sign their names, cipher, count money and read a watch. That was the extent of free education. Advanced learning after 4rth grade was taught by subscription very similar to private tutoring. Grades 5-7 were called grade school. Grades 7-12 were called high school. They didn’t have Junior High.
In 1935, the Second New Deal created the Works Progress / Projects Administration (WPA) to help people recover from the Depression. A lot of new schools were built during this period. Schools were funded with a combination of state aid and a tax levy called a mill collected from every resident in a school district. When Boomers say they shouldn’t have to pay a school tax because they don’t have children in school, this is what they’re referring to. They had the right to vote against a tax levy. These days, we call them temporary sales tax increases to fund things like new gym equipment. Everyone inside the school district votes on the increase and everyone inside and outside the district has to pay the sales tax if they shop at a store in the district. These no-voters will shop outside the district if the tax increase passes.
Fast forward to WWII (1939-1945) and the Korean War (1950-1953) and we see a significant decrease in school attendance that results in the closure of many rural schools. Many of this second generation of Boomers grew up in boarding schools and orphanages because their mothers couldn’t afford to feed them. This period resulted in a high population of youth being institutionalized. One of my grandmother’s sisters was raped by her uncle at age 14 and was sent to an asylum for the mentally ill. My mother (born 1952) and her sisters were taken by DHS (called CPS today) and sent to a girl’s state school after their father died of cirrhosis at the age of 42. He was a bootlegger who literally drank himself to death. Prohibition (1920-1933) was another result of the Depression. It lasted until 1952 in Oklahoma. Forced sterilization in mental institutions was outlawed in 1951 for the sake of medical study. The practice began in 1931 because the state believed that mental illness/retardation was genetic and caused by incest/inbreeding. It runs in my mother’s family so I can confirm the state was right. Mutations in the brain can be passed from mother to child.
The third generation of Boomers was born during the Vietnam War (1955-1975). I was born in 1973, so I’m technically Gen X with Boomer influences but not to the point that I’m a raging psycho. I consider those born in the 60s to be the third Boomer generation. My town lost its high school in 1968 and stopped at the eighth grade. All those who graduated from the 60s-1980 are the anti education gatekeepers of the workforce that I’m personally struggling with. These are the people who hate anyone with an education level above theirs. They’re offended by education unless you’re a doctor or a lawyer and they can use you. They are also anti-technology and refuse to use it. They are bullies who are socially enmeshed and always in your business. This generation of women married older men because men their age were fighting in a war. Or, they married wealthy men. Those women didn’t have to work and became bored housewives. I blame daytime soap operas for teaching these idiots their horrible social skills. They stayed home almost 24/7 except for when they were at the hair salon or shopping. They wore a lot of makeup too and nail polish contained formaldehyde. The amount of lead and toxic chemicals they were exposed to was very high. My mother was in this category from 1970-1980 when she divorced my father. Men who came home from the war were addicted to heroin and may have turned to cocaine, crack or meth. Many ended up homeless or hooked up with women for the welfare benefits. They were insanely abusive. Very few were able to adjust. Women who did not marry well, had to work cash jobs to support themselves and they might have qualified for USDA commodities and food stamps under Johnson’s War on Poverty (1964). We didn’t have welfare reform until 1996. My mother became an alcoholic and was addicted to amphetamines sold as diet pills in the 80s. We had pure meth from 1980 that my stepdad was addicted to and an explosion of brown meth from 1994 to the present. Almost this entire generation and my own Gen X either experimented or became addicted to meth. It affected Millennials too.
Child prostitution as a means of survival and CSA were common during the Depression because there was no law against it and it’s something society has difficulty grappling with. Oklahoma passed its first anti-child molestation law in 1945 after the end of WWII. I remember those old Boomer women saying that talk about sex was vulgar and those matters weren’t discussed. It was swept under the rug until 1990 when teens finally began to speak out. We had an explosion of violent rape and domestic violence in the 90s by Boomers and chauvinists who couldn’t bear to give up their right to sex on demand and beating women.
We got the Department of Education and mandatory attendance in 1980 so Gen X was the first generation to have a well rounded education since 1929. All the generations that came before us are jealous because we also got child labor laws and the statutory rape law. We’re the first generation that didn’t have to endure backbreaking work as children. We got easy jobs like paper routes, babysitting and mowing. As teenagers, farm kids hauled hay but that’s about as strenuous as it got. Many Gen Xers got pregnant young and had to drop out of school or couldn’t go to college. They had to get married and raise a family. I’m struggling with this portion of my generation being jealous as well.
I think Gen Z is the best generation because they are so far removed from the absolute hell that previous generations went through. They have the best education, the best social skills and are the most well adjusted of all the generations that came before them. Gen X just needs to teach ya’ll life skills and survival skills that you can hand down to Gen Alpha.

Hello hello! This is not going to be anything special outside of just the ramblings of an insomniac so apologies in advance. Im a homebody in the sea of homebodys looking for their person to be comfy with.
Who I am: Basics: 5’11, glasses, husky dad bod, Indian with a beard
Bookworm - I’ve always loved getting lost in the world of books since I was a kid. Fun fact: I was one of those kids obsessed with dinosaurs courtesy of Jurassic park to the point where I kept checking out books from the library about them and then would be getting my dad pissed because they would be always overdue and for months on end. Nowadays I mostly enjoy fantasy/sci-fi/horror but if you’ve got any recommendations let me know to add to the list! I’m currently reading “The Name of the Wind”.
Weeb: what’s better than books? Books with pictures of course 😏 I’m joking, but anime/manga/manhwa are some good stuff to dive into as well. I know not everyone is into it, but I just treat it as just another form of storytelling. It can be just as compelling as experiencing Game of Thrones or it can be just as wild as The Real Housewives; it just depends on what you’re looking for.
Gaming: mostly video and board games. I’ve been playing Elden Ring again recently and wow that’s been an experience. I have a running board game night with some friends at least once a month which is just us being dumb and having fun. I used to play D&D pre pandemic times, but not recently. I do like watching Dimension 20 for the sake of Brennan being the DM, but I got a lot of watching to get through haha. I also started to play yugioh as part of the healing the inner child journey, and it’s been nostalgic to say the least.
Who you are: a person I’d love to learn about if you want to talk. You could be into anything I’m into or none of the above. At the end of the day, all that matters is the company and laughs along the way through life.
Hello hello! This is not going to be anything special outside of just the ramblings of an insomniac so apologies in advance. Im a homebody in the sea of homebodys looking for their person to be comfy with.
Who I am: Basics: 5’11, glasses, husky dad bod, Indian with a beard
Bookworm - I’ve always loved getting lost in the world of books since I was a kid. Fun fact: I was one of those kids obsessed with dinosaurs courtesy of Jurassic park to the point where I kept checking out books from the library about them and then would be getting my dad pissed because they would be always overdue and for months on end. Nowadays I mostly enjoy fantasy/sci-fi/horror but if you’ve got any recommendations let me know to add to the list! I’m currently reading “The Name of the Wind”.
Weeb: what’s better than books? Books with pictures of course 😏 I’m joking, but anime/manga/manhwa are some good stuff to dive into as well. I know not everyone is into it, but I just treat it as just another form of storytelling. It can be just as compelling as experiencing Game of Thrones or it can be just as wild as The Real Housewives; it just depends on what you’re looking for.
Gaming: mostly video and board games. I’ve been playing Hellblade recently and wow that’s been an experience. I have a running board game night with some friends at least once a month which is just us being dumb and having fun. I used to play D&D pre pandemic times, but not recently. I do like watching Dimension 20 for the sake of Brennan being the DM, but I got a lot of watching to get through haha. I also started to play yugioh as part of the healing the inner child journey, and it’s been nostalgic to say the least.
Who you are: a person I’d love to learn about if you want to talk. You could be into anything I’m into or none of the above. At the end of the day, all that matters is the company and laughs along the way through life.

Hello hello! This is not going to be anything special outside of just the ramblings of an insomniac so apologies in advance. Im a homebody in the sea of homebodys looking for their person to be comfy with.
Who I am: Basics: 5’11, glasses, husky dad bod, Indian with a beard
Bookworm - I’ve always loved getting lost in the world of books since I was a kid. Fun fact: I was one of those kids obsessed with dinosaurs courtesy of Jurassic park to the point where I kept checking out books from the library about them and then would be getting my dad pissed because they would be always overdue and for months on end. Nowadays I mostly enjoy fantasy/sci-fi/horror but if you’ve got any recommendations let me know to add to the list! I’m currently reading “The Name of the Wind”.
Weeb: what’s better than books? Books with pictures of course 😏 I’m joking, but anime/manga/manhwa are some good stuff to dive into as well. I know not everyone is into it, but I just treat it as just another form of storytelling. It can be just as compelling as experiencing Game of Thrones or it can be just as wild as The Real Housewives; it just depends on what you’re looking for.
Gaming: mostly video and board games. I’ve been playing Hellblade recently and wow that’s been an experience. I have a running board game night with some friends at least once a month which is just us being dumb and having fun. I used to play D&D pre pandemic times, but not recently. I do like watching Dimension 20 for the sake of Brennan being the DM, but I got a lot of watching to get through haha. I also started to play yugioh as part of the healing the inner child journey, and it’s been nostalgic to say the least.
Who you are: a person I’d love to learn about if you want to talk. You could be into anything I’m into or none of the above. At the end of the day, all that matters is the company and laughs along the way through life.
Hello hello! This is not going to be anything special outside of just the ramblings of an insomniac so apologies in advance. Im a homebody in the sea of homebodys looking for their person to be comfy with.
Who I am: Basics: 5’11, glasses, husky dad bod, Indian with a beard
Bookworm - I’ve always loved getting lost in the world of books since I was a kid. Fun fact: I was one of those kids obsessed with dinosaurs courtesy of Jurassic park to the point where I kept checking out books from the library about them and then would be getting my dad pissed because they would be always overdue and for months on end. Nowadays I mostly enjoy fantasy/sci-fi/horror but if you’ve got any recommendations let me know to add to the list! I’m currently reading “The Name of the Wind”.
Weeb: what’s better than books? Books with pictures of course 😏 I’m joking, but anime/manga/manhwa are some good stuff to dive into as well. I know not everyone is into it, but I just treat it as just another form of storytelling. It can be just as compelling as experiencing Game of Thrones or it can be just as wild as The Real Housewives; it just depends on what you’re looking for.
Gaming: mostly video and board games. I’ve been playing Hellblade recently and wow that’s been an experience. I have a running board game night with some friends at least once a month which is just us being dumb and having fun. I used to play D&D pre pandemic times, but not recently. I do like watching Dimension 20 for the sake of Brennan being the DM, but I got a lot of watching to get through haha. I also started to play yugioh as part of the healing the inner child journey, and it’s been nostalgic to say the least.
Who you are: a person I’d love to learn about if you want to talk. You could be into anything I’m into or none of the above. At the end of the day, all that matters is the company and laughs along the way through life.

I went to Azusa Pacific with Scheana Marie JANCAN. We only had one class together, but we got along well and sat next to each other all semester.
Some nuggets: - She is tiny in real life. Very slim, obviously, but also short. Almost like a fairy. And obviously very pretty (although I cannot BELIEVE how much she’s changed her face). - She worked at Hooters and was THRILLED when she was asked to pose for their annual bikini calendar 🤗 I actually remember her talking about her “good side” and instructing the photographer to reposition. - She and several other Hooter girls were secretly filmed getting dressed before a shift (GROSS). She was shaken up about it, but then very excited to be on camera and “do publicity” with Gloria Allred. Thought it might be her big break. She talked about shopping for court clothes and practicing for her deposition. - Even then, she wanted to be famous. She majored in broadcast journalism and definitely harbored a celebrity fetish. - The hottest tea? She started having an affair with Ricardo Chavira (aka: played Eva Longoria’s husband in Desperate Housewives). This was 2005. Was he married? Yes. Sid she feel guilty? No. So I wasn’t at all surprised to learn about Eddie Cibrian years later. - Scheana always struck me as a kind person. Was she vapid? Absolutely. Did she occasionally cheat on tests? Yes. Was she thirsty, even then? Undoubtedly. But I experienced her as a warm and friendly girl. - Did she tell me that she was mistaken for Britney Spears often and asked for autographs? You bet your ass she did!!
Who else has inside info on cast members, even if it’s small? What were they like before VPR? Has their persona onscreen matched your experience?

There it was, on the table in Nicola Coughlan’s apartment — a microscopic undergarment that loomed large in the actor’s mind.
The “Bridgerton” costume department had sent Coughlan home with a piece of intimacy wear that was essentially a strapless thong that would cover the bare essentials of her body during an upcoming love scene.
It would be her first time ever acting in such a scene, in a series known globally for its sexy yet empowering bedroom romps, and it would require her to be almost totally naked in front of people she’d worked with for years. Coughlan was understandably terrified. One night, she poured herself a margarita and summoned the liquid courage to try on the tiny sliver of fabric.
“I went to the bathroom and looked in the full-length mirror. I was like, ‘Absolutely not.’ I hid it down the bottom of the laundry basket,” Coughlan recalled on a cold morning in January at Netflix’s offices in Manhattan. “I was like, ‘How am I going to do this?’”
Coughlan eventually got over her nerves. Much to her surprise, she found the process of filming the scenes with her co-star Luke Newton creatively satisfying — liberating, even. “By the end of the day, we were both lying under a blanket, not clothed, just chillin’. We were like, ‘This is why nudists do it,’” said Coughlan, who speaks in a rapid, melodious accent that only adds to her natural exuberance.
While discussing the arc of her career, she goes on joyful digressions, praising everything from Mrs. Renfro’s salsa to Ryan Gosling’s performance in the forgotten teen series “Breaker High” to “Saturday Night Live,” which she’s just attended for the third time and hopes to host one day (are you listening, Lorne Michaels?).
She is nothing if not enthusiastic, and she brings this level of passion to Season 3 of “Bridgerton,” the first half of which will return to Netflix on Thursday. Until now, her character, Penelope Featherington, has been content to be a wallflower in the ballrooms of Regency London, allowing her to observe and secretly write a society scandal sheet under the pseudonym Lady Whistledown.
But this season will focus on Penelope as she — spoiler alert — consummates her long-simmering crush on Colin Bridgerton (Newton) in a friends-to-lovers storyline with distinct rom-com overtones. Penelope’s move into the center of the narrative also meant that Coughlan faced new pressures as the lead in one of the most watched and dissected shows on Netflix.
“With Penelope this season, it felt like there were so many things that were reflected in real life. The whole theme of her stepping out of the shadows and into the light, and not feeling quite ready — I felt like I had to do that,” said Coughlan.
“It was really challenging. It was terrifying. It was cathartic. It was a million and one things,” she added. “I loved it.”
She juggled “Bridgerton” with an edgy turn in “Big Mood,” a “Fleabag”-esque dark comedy released last month on Tubi. On top of that, she also had a small role in the biggest box office hit of 2023, “Barbie” — she wanted to do more but, alas, her schedule was too packed — and filmed a guest appearance in the “Doctor Who” Christmas special to be released later this year.
It amounts to a long-simmering breakout moment for Coughlan, who is 37 but thanks to a preternaturally dewy complexion often plays characters who are much younger than she is, like a Catholic high school student in the Troubles-themed sitcom “Derry Girls.”
“It was very exciting to play grown women. But I was like, ‘Can I do that?’ Even in drama school, they would always cast me as the random kid, like, there was an Ibsen play called ‘Little Eyolf,’ and I had to play Eyolf. I was like, ‘This is gonna be me forever.’”
Raised in County Galway on the western coast of Ireland, she grew up liking whatever her older siblings were into — whether it was Nirvana or “Wayne’s World.” When her sister starred in the school play, Coughlan showed up in a sequined vest, looking like a little Liza Minnelli — as if she knew she also wanted to be onstage. (She still has a taste for eccentric glamour: Despite the wintry gloom, she’s decked out in a gold spangled dress and a cloud-like ruffled bolero.)
At age 9, she scored her first professional gig, a movie called “My Brother’s War” starring James Brolin. She got the day off from school, but she wanted more. “I used to look at the Olsen twins. I was like, ‘God, look, look at where they are,’” she joked. As a teenager, she did regular voice work in cartoons. Her father, who was in the Irish army (as a teenage cadet, he took part in U.S. President Kennedy’s funeral in 1963), and mother, a stay-at-home parent, were supportive but also baffled by their youngest child’s dramatic streak. “It’s really not in my family at all,” Coughlan said.
After graduating from the National University of Ireland Galway, Coughlan enrolled in a foundational course at the Oxford School of Drama in England, where she quickly bonded with fellow student Camilla Whitehill.
“We were the only people there that really cared about things being funny,” said Whitehill, a playwright who would go on to create “Big Mood” as a vehicle for her old drama school friend. “Everyone else just wanted to do plays where their family had died, or whatever.”
There it was, on the table in Nicola Coughlan’s apartment — a microscopic undergarment that loomed large in the actor’s mind.
The “Bridgerton” costume department had sent Coughlan home with a piece of intimacy wear that was essentially a strapless thong that would cover the bare essentials of her body during an upcoming love scene.
It would be her first time ever acting in such a scene, in a series known globally for its sexy yet empowering bedroom romps, and it would require her to be almost totally naked in front of people she’d worked with for years. Coughlan was understandably terrified. One night, she poured herself a margarita and summoned the liquid courage to try on the tiny sliver of fabric.
“I went to the bathroom and looked in the full-length mirror. I was like, ‘Absolutely not.’ I hid it down the bottom of the laundry basket,” Coughlan recalled on a cold morning in January at Netflix’s offices in Manhattan. “I was like, ‘How am I going to do this?’”
Coughlan eventually got over her nerves. Much to her surprise, she found the process of filming the scenes with her co-star Luke Newton creatively satisfying — liberating, even. “By the end of the day, we were both lying under a blanket, not clothed, just chillin’. We were like, ‘This is why nudists do it,’” said Coughlan, who speaks in a rapid, melodious accent that only adds to her natural exuberance.
While discussing the arc of her career, she goes on joyful digressions, praising everything from Mrs. Renfro’s salsa to Ryan Gosling’s performance in the forgotten teen series “Breaker High” to “Saturday Night Live,” which she’s just attended for the third time and hopes to host one day (are you listening, Lorne Michaels?).
Luke Newton and Nicola Coughlan hold champagne glasses on "Bridgerton."
Colin Bridgerton (Luke Newton) and Penelope Featherington (Nicola Coughlan) go from friends to lovers in Season 3 of “Bridgerton.” (Liam Daniel / Netflix)
She is nothing if not enthusiastic, and she brings this level of passion to Season 3 of “Bridgerton,” the first half of which will return to Netflix on Thursday. Until now, her character, Penelope Featherington, has been content to be a wallflower in the ballrooms of Regency London, allowing her to observe and secretly write a society scandal sheet under the pseudonym Lady Whistledown.
But this season will focus on Penelope as she — spoiler alert — consummates her long-simmering crush on Colin Bridgerton (Newton) in a friends-to-lovers storyline with distinct rom-com overtones. Penelope’s move into the center of the narrative also meant that Coughlan faced new pressures as the lead in one of the most watched and dissected shows on Netflix.
“With Penelope this season, it felt like there were so many things that were reflected in real life. The whole theme of her stepping out of the shadows and into the light, and not feeling quite ready — I felt like I had to do that,” said Coughlan.
“It was really challenging. It was terrifying. It was cathartic. It was a million and one things,” she added. “I loved it.”
She juggled “Bridgerton” with an edgy turn in “Big Mood,” a “Fleabag”-esque dark comedy released last month on Tubi. On top of that, she also had a small role in the biggest box office hit of 2023, “Barbie” — she wanted to do more but, alas, her schedule was too packed — and filmed a guest appearance in the “Doctor Who” Christmas special to be released later this year.
It amounts to a long-simmering breakout moment for Coughlan, who is 37 but thanks to a preternaturally dewy complexion often plays characters who are much younger than she is, like a Catholic high school student in the Troubles-themed sitcom “Derry Girls.”
“It was very exciting to play grown women. But I was like, ‘Can I do that?’ Even in drama school, they would always cast me as the random kid, like, there was an Ibsen play called ‘Little Eyolf,’ and I had to play Eyolf. I was like, ‘This is gonna be me forever.’”
Raised in County Galway on the western coast of Ireland, she grew up liking whatever her older siblings were into — whether it was Nirvana or “Wayne’s World.” When her sister starred in the school play, Coughlan showed up in a sequined vest, looking like a little Liza Minnelli — as if she knew she also wanted to be onstage. (She still has a taste for eccentric glamour: Despite the wintry gloom, she’s decked out in a gold spangled dress and a cloud-like ruffled bolero.)
At age 9, she scored her first professional gig, a movie called “My Brother’s War” starring James Brolin. She got the day off from school, but she wanted more. “I used to look at the Olsen twins. I was like, ‘God, look, look at where they are,’” she joked. As a teenager, she did regular voice work in cartoons. Her father, who was in the Irish army (as a teenage cadet, he took part in U.S. President Kennedy’s funeral in 1963), and mother, a stay-at-home parent, were supportive but also baffled by their youngest child’s dramatic streak. “It’s really not in my family at all,” Coughlan said.
After graduating from the National University of Ireland Galway, Coughlan enrolled in a foundational course at the Oxford School of Drama in England, where she quickly bonded with fellow student Camilla Whitehill.
“We were the only people there that really cared about things being funny,” said Whitehill, a playwright who would go on to create “Big Mood” as a vehicle for her old drama school friend. “Everyone else just wanted to do plays where their family had died, or whatever.”
Nicola Coughlan holds her fingers against her cheek. Yellow orbs float behind her.
Nicola Coughlan on playing Penelope this season: “The whole theme of her stepping out of the shadows and into the light, and not feeling quite ready — I felt like I had to do that.” (Evelyn Freja / For The Times)
Coughlan, ever the pop culture connoisseur, introduced Whitehill to the sitcom “Arrested Development.”
“She’s one of those people who, if she thinks you will like something, she will make you watch it. And she is — annoyingly — usually right,” added Whitehill. (More recently, Coughlan urged her friend to catch up on “The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City.” “It’s such an easy one to sell to people. I’m like, ‘One of them is a cult leader who’s married to her granddad; are you in or are you out?’” Coughlan said.)
They both eventually landed in London, where “neither of us was successful at all for our whole 20s,” said Whitehill, who would often cast Coughlan in “my bad unpaid short plays at pubs,” including one where Coughlan played a cat.
“You leave drama school, which is a lovely, cozy bosom where you get to do the thing you love every day. Then you go, ‘Hang on. Thousands of people leave drama school every year, and they want to do the exact job I do.’ It seems so improbable that you’ll make a living doing it,” said Coughlan. “I felt like a loser at so many points.”
One such nadir came when she was working at a frozen yogurt shop at a mall in West London and the cheap jeans she wore as part of her uniform tore “right up the butt crack.” It was sobering, she said. “I was like, ‘This is not the life I wanted.’”
By the time she was in her late 20s, she’d moved back home and was working for an optician in Galway. Then she saw a listing for an open casting call for a festival of plays being put on by the Old Vic Theatre. Even though she was broke, she flew back to London for the audition and landed a part in a play called “Jess and Joe Forever.”
It marked a turning point for Coughlan, who was soon cast as studious teen Clare Devlin in Channel 4’s “Derry Girls,” a project she was drawn to because of its vividly drawn female characters.
“They were all really distinct — young women who were ballsy and foul-mouthed,” she said. She convinced herself that the show would flop because “people hate women trying to be funny.” Instead, the show was a massive hit in the U.K. and earned a devoted following in the U.S. when it was picked up by Netflix.
Then, Shonda Rhimes came calling about “Bridgerton.” After a single audition, Coughlan was cast as Penelope, a thoughtful, sharp-witted young woman with an overbearing mother and tacky, dim-witted sisters. Season 1 was released in late 2020, when much of the world was staying home because of the COVID-19 pandemic-related closures, and it became a sensation.
Whitehill recalls going out with her friend once restrictions had lifted in the U.K. and sensing how much had shifted. “It’s such a weird, un-put-into-words-able experience to watch someone you know for such a long time become globally famous,” she said. The fact that Coughlan didn’t find success straight out of school “has grounded her significantly, which means that she doesn’t let it go to her head.”
Success has not come without complications, however, like the relentless media scrutiny around Coughlan’s physical appearance. “It’s really hard and feels [like] s—,” she said.
In 2018, she wrote an essay for the Guardian responding to a theater critic who described her character in a London production of “The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie” as “an overweight little girl.” Coughlan is determined to push back against this kind of casual body-shaming because, she said, “I grew up at a time where it was so overt. There was the circle of shame for cellulite [in magazines] — just horrific, horrific messaging.”
It’s also why this season of “Bridgerton,” which celebrates the allure of a character often overlooked as a wallflower, is so meaningful to Coughlan — and why she suspects it will resonate with so many viewers. Rhimes and showrunner Jess Brownell decided Season 3 should deviate from the timeline in Julia Quinn’s novels and focus on Penelope and Colin — a couple known to fans as “Polin.”
“We’ve watched Colin not quite understand that Penelope has a crush on him for two seasons. You can only play that dynamic out for so long before it gets frustrating,” said Brownell.
Stepping into the lead meant Coughlan would need to be on set nearly every day for eight months straight. But if she was overwhelmed at first, she didn’t let on. “She just seemed so game and ready for anything on set,” said Brownell. “If anything, I just noticed how seriously she was taking her preparation.”
Coughlan was insightful and collaborative, said Brownell, sharing an endless stream of ideas about her character in a WhatsApp group chat with Newton and Brownell. She had suggestions for specific music cues and for Penelope’s makeover, which sees her ditching her tight red poodle curls and garish citrus-hued gowns for loose waves and cool blues and greens. Coughlan is also very plugged into the fandom, and she advocated for including a scene, important to novel readers, in which Penelope calls Colin “Mr. Bridgerton.”
As if that weren’t enough, she even found time to bake fresh Irish soda bread and bring it to set.
This season is “a lot lighter and more playful than we’ve been able to be in the past,” Brownell added. The writing leans into Coughlan’s strengths as a comedic performer, particularly her knack for awkward banter, a skill she deploys as Penelope throws herself into the London social season in a bid to find a husband.
Coughlan, who enjoyed being, as she put it, “the weirdo in the background” for the first two seasons of “Bridgerton” and who idolizes women like Tina Fey, Amy Poehler and Kristen Wiig, said it was a thrill “to play Penelope as goofy and terrible with men.”
Like Coughlan, Newton was nervous about filming the love scenes but found the anxiety quickly dissipated after the first take. “We both had a similar outlook — it’s like doing comedy because you’re having to put yourself out there and feel exposed and risk something,” said Newton (who watched “Hamilton” at Coughlan’s recommendation and loved it, just as she predicted.) Because of how these moments focus on consent and emotional intimacy, “It was essential that we were friends,” he said.
The co-stars were especially heartened to hear from a burly security guard named Dave who has worked on “Bridgerton” since Season 1 and was moved by the romance he watched them act out on set.
“He came to Luke and I and said, ‘I don’t normally watch shows like this. Something about this season is very special, and I’m very proud of you,’” Coughlan recalled.
For several weeks, Coughlan was filming “Bridgerton” and “Big Mood” at the same time. She coped with the stress by watching “Vanderpump Rules” from the beginning.
“It’s a testament to how nosy I am that I heard people talking about Scandoval, had no frame of reference and was like, ‘Well, I need to know,’” said Coughlan, now a superfan who recently threw a “Vanderpump”-themed housewarming party and made a beeline to take a selfie with Ariana Madix when she was at “SNL.” It’s not just escapism: She also finds creative inspiration in reality TV personalities, channeling some of Lala Kent’s mannerisms into her character in “Big Mood.” “You forget how f— weird people are, how bizarre they can be,” she said.
In January, Coughlan had not yet seen the new season of “Bridgerton.” But by phone in early May, she said she’d finally watched the episode in which Colin and Penelope sleep together, nervously, by herself in a hotel room. Once again, the anticipation was worse than the thing itself.
“I laughed and cried and I was like, ‘Oh, my God, it’s amazing,’” she said. “They’re not titillating just to be titillating, even though we hope they are sexy. There’s so much about female pleasure and positive sexual experiences, and we don’t get enough of that onscreen.”
Coughlan has reached a bittersweet crossroads on “Bridgerton,” now that her character’s big season has wrapped and she will soon return to being “the weirdo in the background.” But she has no regrets.
“We left it all on the pitch. There’s nothing I wanted to do this season that I didn’t get to do,” she said. “And that’s a rare thing.”
Source: https://www.latimes.com/entertainment-arts/tv/story/2024-05-12/nicola-coughlan-bridgerton-season-3
It seems some people are having trouble accessing it. There's no paywall for me, and I'm in the USA.

I’m thinking maybe DH is jealous of me or has an inferiority complex regarding me. He has told me I’m the most anxious, ‘keeping up with the joneses,’ obsessed with image woman he has ever been with. If you look at my last post you’ll see he compared me to this simpleton village girl he used to date years ago. Thing is, I don’t think I’m pretentious like he says. It’s just that I come from a family and culture which care a lot about achievements, manners, etiquette etc. I don’t care about wearing the most expensive clothes or having the most expensive car or wearing new clothes all the time. All I ask is that he makes sure he and his kids look presentable before they leave the house even if it’s the groceries, that they fart in the bathroom, that they present as neat etc.
Because myself and our toddler, we are always looking put together and even though she is only a toddler, I am instilling good manners and etiquette in her so that it becomes second nature. I don’t think it’s a lot to ask or pretentious of me to ask that he and the kids don’t look like hobos when they leave the house and have manners. He uses the excuse that we aren’t in a good financial position, but I call bullshit on that. If you have running water, shelter and clothes, there is no excuse to dress homeless. I’m not saying to dress to the nines either. But apparently this makes me superficial. I think he’s setting his kids up for failure, because a good first impression is important. Yet his kids look dishevelled unless it’s a special occasion even though I always make sure their clothes are cleaned and ironed (they’ll stay in the same clothes for days and DH says it’s okay and they sleep in their clothes too). Also, his kids barely even know how to talk to people (I’ve mentioned in previous posts that ss10 runs away from new people). He says I’m pretentious and image obsessed like Bree Van De Kamp from Desperate Housewives, all because I told SS13 to change and wear a different pair of pants when they were going out to get groceries because the pants he was wearing had a huge hole in it. Dh comes from a loser family which don’t care about achievements. They don’t care about anything, they’ve never even showed interest in our toddler yet DH blames this on me because I don’t visit them. Sorry but grandparents should naturally want to reach out to their grandkids, and also I don’t go there because there is zero hospitality, they don’t even greet me. They’re like a feral family. DH’a parents are always swearing at each other and arguing. Not an environment I’d want my kid around. Also they don’t do anything with my stepkids when they stay there either! They are just left to rot away and play videogames. Whereas whenever our toddler visits my parents, my parents always take her out to do activities, are very loving and affectionate towards her, etc. My parents are clearly the better grandparents, and I feel like this makes DH insecure too.
DH has achieved impressive things in life because he didn’t want to be ghetto like his parents. But this ghetto mindset of his family that image doesn’t matter at all and that it’s okay to look dishevelled on an average day and fart in front of family, is still within him. I’m thinking maybe he feels insecure around me because of this. I remind him of what he naturally isn’t, so this is why he’s so mean to me).
He also gets so annoyed when I tell his kids not to fart around me. They fart and laugh. DH does too sometimes (he never did this before we got married, I was scammed lol). In my culture this is considered very rude. DH’s defence is ‘they don’t fart in public’ but I don’t care, I don’t want people constantly farting around me. This boundary of mine is always getting violated. They always fart and make crude jokes in front of me. I even told DH it’s a big turn off but it’s like he doesn’t even care what I think, he just keeps doing it and letting his kids do it, and they all just laugh at me and tell me their behaviours are natural and that I’m too uptight.
Oh and he hates that I stop our toddler from picking her nose. He says it’s natural. Yet his disgusting sons pick their nose in front of me and will shamelessly do it in public and then smear it on their clothes!!! I always tell them to stop. I said to them “your mum, dad and grandparents may not care but you will not pull this disrespectful disgusting behaviour in front of me.” And DH says this is part of why the stepkids don’t like being home alone with me. They don’t feel comfortable. But I don’t care, I’d rather they stay away from me than be home with me and disrespect all my rules and be a bad influence to our daughter.
So yeah, this is the difference between having money and having class. I thought since he had achieved a lot in life that he wouldn’t be like his dishevelled parents and would have grown as a person since he has seen the world. But no, the ghetto mindset persists with DH unfortunately. He feels like a lowlife so he resents me for having basic decency and manners which he has failed to teach his kids.
What do you think?

Hey, so as the title says I want close friends rather than a lot of friends! Ideally I’d prefer somebody willing to do VCs and who’s okay with moving the conversation to discord because to be real I’m bad at noticing Reddit notifications.
So we don’t have to have stuff in common because we can just talk but just some basic things about me:
Shows I love: The Good Place, Hazbin Hotel/Helluva Boss, Orange is the New Black, Cobra Kai, School Spirits, ATLA, PLL, Desperate Housewives, House MD and SVTFOE
I love basically all types of music outside of Jazz but I mostly listen to indie, alt z, rock, alternative and pop!
I love animals and I have a dog but unfortunately I’m allergic to almost all animals (including dogs actually 💀)
I’m not sure how we could bond over this but I love swimming and playing darts. (I’m getting a dart board soon and I’m so excited!!!) I used to play darts at bars only but I actually don’t drink! I’m such a nerd I won’t even touch a Red Bull because I’m afraid of it lmao
I plan to be a therapist in the future, I’m going to be volunteering at a crisis hotline this summer and yeah! I don’t know what else to add here but there you go! My only thing is please understand I am only looking for platonic friendship!
Oh and as some ice breakers:
if you could identify yourself as a tree, which type of tree would you be and why? (I have no idea why I choose trees, I allow things to pop into my head and I don’t question them).
What quote do you try to remind yourself of on a consistent basis and what does that say about you as a person?
What do you consider to be your biggest flaw and would you judge others as harshly as yourself about this particular flaw or would you be more/less lenient on it? Why do you think that is?
Okay I’ve droned on enough, ✨have a wonderful daaaay!✨ 🎉

Hello hello! This is not going to be anything special outside of just the ramblings of an insomniac so apologies in advance. Im a homebody in the sea of homebodys looking for their person to be comfy with.
Who I am: Basics: 5’11, glasses, husky dad bod, Indian with a beard
Bookworm - I’ve always loved getting lost in the world of books since I was a kid. Fun fact: I was one of those kids obsessed with dinosaurs courtesy of Jurassic park to the point where I kept checking out books from the library about them and then would be getting my dad pissed because they would be always overdue and for months on end. Nowadays I mostly enjoy fantasy/sci-fi/horror but if you’ve got any recommendations let me know to add to the list! I’m currently reading “The Name of the Wind”.
Weeb: what’s better than books? Books with pictures of course 😏 I’m joking, but anime/manga/manhwa are some good stuff to dive into as well. I know not everyone is into it, but I just treat it as just another form of storytelling. It can be just as compelling as experiencing Game of Thrones or it can be just as wild as The Real Housewives; it just depends on what you’re looking for.
Gaming: mostly video and board games. I’ve been playing Hellblade recently and wow that’s been an experience. I have a running board game night with some friends at least once a month which is just us being dumb and having fun. I used to play D&D pre pandemic times, but not recently. I do like watching Dimension 20 for the sake of Brennan being the DM, but I got a lot of watching to get through haha. I also started to play yugioh as part of the healing the inner child journey, and it’s been nostalgic to say the least.
Who you are: a person I’d love to learn about if you want to talk. You could be into anything I’m into or none of the above. At the end of the day, all that matters is the company and laughs along the way through life.
Hello hello! This is not going to be anything special outside of just the ramblings of an insomniac so apologies in advance. Im a homebody in the sea of homebodys looking for their person to be comfy with.
Who I am: Basics: 5’11, glasses, husky dad bod, Indian with a beard
Bookworm - I’ve always loved getting lost in the world of books since I was a kid. Fun fact: I was one of those kids obsessed with dinosaurs courtesy of Jurassic park to the point where I kept checking out books from the library about them and then would be getting my dad pissed because they would be always overdue and for months on end. Nowadays I mostly enjoy fantasy/sci-fi/horror but if you’ve got any recommendations let me know to add to the list! I’m currently reading “The Name of the Wind”.
Weeb: what’s better than books? Books with pictures of course 😏 I’m joking, but anime/manga/manhwa are some good stuff to dive into as well. I know not everyone is into it, but I just treat it as just another form of storytelling. It can be just as compelling as experiencing Game of Thrones or it can be just as wild as The Real Housewives; it just depends on what you’re looking for.
Gaming: mostly video and board games. I’ve been playing Hellblade recently and wow that’s been an experience. I have a running board game night with some friends at least once a month which is just us being dumb and having fun. I used to play D&D pre pandemic times, but not recently. I do like watching Dimension 20 for the sake of Brennan being the DM, but I got a lot of watching to get through haha. I also started to play yugioh as part of the healing the inner child journey, and it’s been nostalgic to say the least.
Who you are: a person I’d love to learn about if you want to talk. You could be into anything I’m into or none of the above. At the end of the day, all that matters is the company and laughs along the way through life.

I used to be really into playing The Sims 4; and I still like the *idea* of playing it; however now whenever I sit down to actually play it (when I have a moment) I'm honestly at a loss for inspiration and don't know what to do in it. 🤷‍♀️ Before, (a couple years ago,) when I played it I could actually sit down for a few hours a day and really "dig into" something. I.e. building something and pouring my heart and soul into it - this was a fun outlet for my creative process. But now that I work an 8-5 job, I feel like with the time & energy I do have left, I just don't know what to do in the sims. Doesn't give me the dopamine boost it used to.
I just started watching Desperate Housewives on Hulu (I would've been a little kid/preteen when it came out in the early 2000s, I'm 31 now). It's entertaining and funny; I'm on season 3 I think.
I might look into taking a little getaway soon; I have the PTO for it, and honestly I think I'm starting to experience a bit of burnout with my job.
I go to a Cards Against Humanity meetup group in my city, they meet every other Saturday. (Apart from this I don't really have a social life, or social circle.)
I haven't been intimate with anyone in a year-and-a-half. 😬 I recently dusted off my profile on Bumble. Have been talking to a couple people, both platonically and romantically. There's this guy who has mutual interest in meeting up with me; I'm looking forward to us meeting. 😛
I'm in Tucson AZ; I got a year-long membership to the Tohono Chul gardens but have only actually *been* once. (I used to live closer to there, but now I live a bit further away.) They're only open certain hours; visiting on the weekdays is kind of out of the question as I work an 8-5. (Would need to visit on the weekends.) Also though, it's getting hot now in Tucson. (I've been getting headaches lately when I go out.)
Within the last month or 2 I've discovered the HUGE thrifting and antiquing scene in my city, somewhat to the detriment of my wallet 😅 I have a newfound love for thrifting and antiquing (I've always loved shopping in general) -- but that in and of itself, exclusively, isn't a healthy or practical way to "find beauty" or "add joy" to my life. I can do thrifting or shopping to some extent, (and believe me I do,) but I can only spend so much money & I can only acquire stuff up to a certain point. (Past a point it becomes excessive, and I don't want to go past that point.)
Back when I lived in Orlando I used to drive to the Celebration area all the time just to take walks and to gain inspiration. I *loved* walking around Celebration and wish I still could; but we don't really have any area like that in Tucson.
I would like to get a cat, but I don't feel like I can take care of an animal right now, or at all if I'm working an 8-5. Especially in the beginning of my pet ownership, I would want to have time to just *be* with my pet for a couple weeks to get them used to the house. (I'd want to be able to spend most of my time with them.) I would need to know what kind of food is best for them, I would need to decide what kind of litter to get them, decide where to keep their litter box and what is comfortable for them as well as practical with the layout of my house, "pet proof" my house, make sure there aren't any dangerous corners they can get stuck in, etc. Like I can't just get a cat and then disappear to work for 8 hours a day and then only see my cat for like 4 hours a day. (The entire day I would be filled with anxiety wondering if they are ok.)
Anyone reading this resonate with what I've expressed? How do you find beauty in the mundane, and romanticize your life, if at all??? Has anyone else experienced the need to maybe re-establish baselines for things like dopamine and serotonin? (Not checking your phone for notifications every 2 seconds, making sure you have things to look forward to, etc.)?

I used to be really into playing The Sims 4; and I still like the *idea* of playing it; however now whenever I sit down to actually play it (when I have a moment) I'm honestly at a loss for inspiration and don't know what to do in it. 🤷‍♀️ Before, (a couple years ago,) when I played it I could actually sit down for a few hours a day and really "dig into" something. I.e. building something and pouring my heart and soul into it - this was a fun outlet for my creative process. But now that I work an 8-5 job, I feel like with the time & energy I do have left, I just don't know what to do in the sims. Doesn't give me the dopamine boost it used to.
I just started watching Desperate Housewives on Hulu (I would've been a little kid/preteen when it came out in the early 2000s, I'm 31 now). It's entertaining and funny; I'm on season 3 I think.
I might look into taking a little getaway soon; I have the PTO for it, and honestly I think I'm starting to experience a bit of burnout with my job.
I go to a Cards Against Humanity meetup group in my city, they meet every other Saturday. (Apart from this I don't really have a social life, or social circle.)
I haven't been intimate with anyone in a year-and-a-half. 😬 I recently dusted off my profile on Bumble. Have been talking to a couple people, both platonically and romantically. There's this guy who has mutual interest in meeting up with me; I'm looking forward to us meeting. 😛
I'm in Tucson AZ; I got a year-long membership to the Tohono Chul gardens but have only actually *been* once. (I used to live closer to there, but now I live a bit further away.) They're only open certain hours; visiting on the weekdays is kind of out of the question as I work an 8-5. (Would need to visit on the weekends.) Also though, it's getting hot now in Tucson. (I've been getting headaches lately when I go out.)
Within the last month or 2 I've discovered the HUGE thrifting and antiquing scene in my city, somewhat to the detriment of my wallet 😅 I have a newfound love for thrifting and antiquing (I've always loved shopping in general) -- but that in and of itself, exclusively, isn't a healthy or practical way to "find beauty" or "add joy" to my life. I can do thrifting or shopping to some extent, (and believe me I do,) but I can only spend so much money & I can only acquire stuff up to a certain point. (Past a point it becomes excessive, and I don't want to go past that point.)
Back when I lived in Orlando I used to drive to the Celebration area all the time just to take walks and to gain inspiration. I *loved* walking around Celebration and wish I still could; but we don't really have any area like that in Tucson.
I would like to get a cat, but I don't feel like I can take care of an animal right now, or at all if I'm working an 8-5. Especially in the beginning of my pet ownership, I would want to have time to just *be* with my pet for a couple weeks to get them used to the house. (I'd want to be able to spend most of my time with them.) I would need to know what kind of food is best for them, I would need to decide what kind of litter to get them, decide where to keep their litter box and what is comfortable for them as well as practical with the layout of my house, "pet proof" my house, make sure there aren't any dangerous corners they can get stuck in, etc. Like I can't just get a cat and then disappear to work for 8 hours a day and then only see my cat for like 4 hours a day. (The entire day I would be filled with anxiety wondering if they are ok.)
Anyone reading this resonate with what I've expressed? How do you find beauty in the mundane, and romanticize your life, if at all??? Has anyone else experienced the need to maybe re-establish baselines for things like dopamine and serotonin? (Not checking your phone for notifications every 2 seconds, making sure you have things to look forward to, etc.)?

I used to be really into playing The Sims 4; and I still like the *idea* of playing it; however now whenever I sit down to actually play it (when I have a moment) I'm honestly at a loss for inspiration and don't know what to do in it. 🤷‍♀️ Before, (a couple years ago,) when I played it I could actually sit down for a few hours a day and really "dig into" something. I.e. building something and pouring my heart and soul into it - this was a fun outlet for my creative process. But now that I work an 8-5 job, I feel like with the time & energy I do have left, I just don't know what to do in the sims. Doesn't give me the dopamine boost it used to.
I just started watching Desperate Housewives on Hulu (I would've been a little kid/preteen when it came out in the early 2000s, I'm 31 now). It's entertaining and funny; I'm on season 3 I think.
I might look into taking a little getaway soon; I have the PTO for it, and honestly I think I'm starting to experience a bit of burnout with my job.
I go to a Cards Against Humanity meetup group in my city, they meet every other Saturday. (Apart from this I don't really have a social life, or social circle.)
I haven't been intimate with anyone in a year-and-a-half. 😬 I recently dusted off my profile on Bumble. Have been talking to a couple people, both platonically and romantically. There's this guy who has mutual interest in meeting up with me; I'm looking forward to us meeting. 😛
I'm in Tucson AZ; I got a year-long membership to the Tohono Chul gardens but have only actually *been* once. (I used to live closer to there, but now I live a bit further away.) They're only open certain hours; visiting on the weekdays is kind of out of the question as I work an 8-5. (Would need to visit on the weekends.) Also though, it's getting hot now in Tucson. (I've been getting headaches lately when I go out.)
Within the last month or 2 I've discovered the HUGE thrifting and antiquing scene in my city, somewhat to the detriment of my wallet 😅 I have a newfound love for thrifting and antiquing (I've always loved shopping in general) -- but that in and of itself, exclusively, isn't a healthy or practical way to "find beauty" or "add joy" to my life. I can do thrifting or shopping to some extent, (and believe me I do,) but I can only spend so much money & I can only acquire stuff up to a certain point. (Past a point it becomes excessive, and I don't want to go past that point.)
Back when I lived in Orlando I used to drive to the Celebration area all the time just to take walks and to gain inspiration. I *loved* walking around Celebration and wish I still could; but we don't really have any area like that in Tucson.
I would like to get a cat, but I don't feel like I can take care of an animal right now, or at all if I'm working an 8-5. Especially in the beginning of my pet ownership, I would want to have time to just *be* with my pet for a couple weeks to get them used to the house. (I'd want to be able to spend most of my time with them.) I would need to know what kind of food is best for them, I would need to decide what kind of litter to get them, decide where to keep their litter box and what is comfortable for them as well as practical with the layout of my house, "pet proof" my house, make sure there aren't any dangerous corners they can get stuck in, etc. Like I can't just get a cat and then disappear to work for 8 hours a day and then only see my cat for like 4 hours a day. (The entire day I would be filled with anxiety wondering if they are ok.)
Anyone reading this resonate with what I've expressed? How do you find beauty in the mundane, and romanticize your life, if at all??? Has anyone else experienced the need to maybe re-establish baselines for things like dopamine and serotonin? (Not checking your phone for notifications every 2 seconds, making sure you have things to look forward to, etc.)?

I’m watching the first episode of the series for the first time and Gizelle is dead ass Karen now. I watched RHUGT season 3 and the whole time I was like how is this girl so good. She’s amazing at playing housewives and giving drama. In the first episode I’m watching Karen and all I can think is this lady is literally her in like 5 years. Lol anyone agree?

I used to be really into playing The Sims 4; and I still like the *idea* of playing it; however now whenever I sit down to actually play it (when I have a moment) I'm honestly at a loss for inspiration and don't know what to do in it. 🤷‍♀️ Before, (a couple years ago,) when I played it I could actually sit down for a few hours a day and really "dig into" something. I.e. building something and pouring my heart and soul into it - this was a fun outlet for my creative process. But now that I work an 8-5 job, I feel like with the time & energy I do have left, I just don't know what to do in the sims. Doesn't give me the dopamine boost it used to.
I just started watching Desperate Housewives on Hulu (I would've been a little kid/preteen when it came out in the early 2000s, I'm 31 now). It's entertaining and funny; I'm on season 3 I think.
I might look into taking a little getaway soon; I have the PTO for it, and honestly I think I'm starting to experience a bit of burnout with my job.
I go to a Cards Against Humanity meetup group in my city, they meet every other Saturday. (Apart from this I don't really have a social life, or social circle.)
I haven't been intimate with anyone in a year-and-a-half. 😬 I recently dusted off my profile on Bumble. Have been talking to a couple people, both platonically and romantically. There's this guy who has mutual interest in meeting up with me; I'm looking forward to us meeting. 😛
I'm in Tucson AZ; I got a year-long membership to the Tohono Chul gardens but have only actually *been* once. (I used to live closer to there, but now I live a bit further away.) They're only open certain hours; visiting on the weekdays is kind of out of the question as I work an 8-5. (Would need to visit on the weekends.) Also though, it's getting hot now in Tucson. (I've been getting headaches lately when I go out.)
Within the last month or 2 I've discovered the HUGE thrifting and antiquing scene in my city, somewhat to the detriment of my wallet 😅 I have a newfound love for thrifting and antiquing (I've always loved shopping in general) -- but that in and of itself, exclusively, isn't a healthy or practical way to "find beauty" or "add joy" to my life. I can do thrifting or shopping to some extent, (and believe me I do,) but I can only spend so much money & I can only acquire stuff up to a certain point. (Past a point it becomes excessive, and I don't want to go past that point.)
Back when I lived in Orlando I used to drive to the Celebration area all the time just to take walks and to gain inspiration. I *loved* walking around Celebration and wish I still could; but we don't really have any area like that in Tucson.
I would like to get a cat, but I don't feel like I can take care of an animal right now, or at all if I'm working an 8-5. Especially in the beginning of my pet ownership, I would want to have time to just *be* with my pet for a couple weeks to get them used to the house. (I'd want to be able to spend most of my time with them.) I would need to know what kind of food is best for them, I would need to decide what kind of litter to get them, decide where to keep their litter box and what is comfortable for them as well as practical with the layout of my house, "pet proof" my house, make sure there aren't any dangerous corners they can get stuck in, etc. Like I can't just get a cat and then disappear to work for 8 hours a day and then only see my cat for like 4 hours a day. (The entire day I would be filled with anxiety wondering if they are ok.)
Anyone reading this resonate with what I've expressed? How do you find beauty in the mundane, and romanticize your life, if at all??? Has anyone else experienced the need to maybe re-establish baselines for things like dopamine and serotonin? (Not checking your phone for notifications every 2 seconds, making sure you have things to look forward to, etc.)?

PSA: Obviously peace is a two way streak and both sides need to stop attacking each other (especially civilians) for peace to be achieved but this is I think this is something that needs to be dealt with:
From what I have gathered from talking to Israelis is that there is a need In Israel to portray Israel as completely morally righteous country from its birth to now. This has led to whitewashing Israeli history to fit a narrative that reflects Israel's self perceived righteousness. This somewhat improved in the 1980s with new wave of Israeli historians like Benny Morris who challenged the prevailing narrative about Israel's founding, which held, for instance, that Arab leaders instructed their people to flee, such that Israelis simply walked into empty villages without much violence; that any Israeli violence was solely in response to Arab provocation; that the British sought to prevent a Jewish state rather than facilitating it; that the Arabs had the strategic advantage; overall, that the Jewish settlers constituted a beleaguered underdog who only defended themselves and did no unnecessary harm to anyone, certainly not aiming to displace Palestinians.
However, despite this many zionists/israelis will still recite narratives that have been refuted by historians like Morris. This denial of history and even recent atrocities prevents any sort of dialogue from occurring and just paints Palestinians as psychopaths who have no legitimate grievances against Israel. And honestly it both infuriates me and perplexes me when zionists/Israelis (some do but I would say most do not) won't accept that the Palestinians certainly have legitimate grievances. And I think one thing that Israel needs to do as a society as a whole is accept the darker parts of their history and where the Palestinians have legitimate grievances.(I am not saying there is nothing Palestinians need to do).
There are so many examples I could give this but I am going to choose a fairly obscure example: early zionist treatment of Palestinian fellahin (essentially means peasantry). Now this is a very insignificant to the current debate and a very obscure part of history yet prominent Zionist organisations still falsely claims that early zionists were caring towards the fellahin.
From the jewish virtual library:
Jews went out of their way to avoid purchasing land in areas where Arabs might be displaced. They sought land that was largely uncultivated, swampy, cheap and, most important, without tenants. In 1920, Labor Zionist leader David Ben-Gurion expressed his concern about the Arab fellahin, whom he viewed as “the most important asset of the native population.” Ben-Gurion said, “under no circumstances must we touch land belonging to fellahs or worked by them.” He advocated helping liberate them from their oppressors. “Only if a fellah leaves his place of settlement,” Ben-Gurion added, “should we offer to buy his land, at an appropriate price.”
Now, I have no doubt Ben Gurion said this publicly but I strongly doubt he meant it as it does not reflect how Fellahin were viewed or treated by Zionists at the time. There is a plethora of evidence to retort this idea that early Zionists had any concern about the treatment of Fellahin:
Ahad Ha’am (Asher Ginsberg) one of the few Jewish visitors to Palestine who was not taken in by the Zionist sales pitch of ‘a land without people for a people without land’, wrote that the Jewish farmers ‘behave towards the Arabs with hostility and cruelty, commit unwarranted trespass, beat them shamefully without any good reason and brag about doing so’. (76).
Moshe Smilansky, an early zionists settler wrote: ‘The fellahin are closely bound to their land and will not easily leave it. They have put down roots on it, built their homes and yards there and buried there their loved ones and saints. The land is dear to the fellahin and it is increasingly being taken by [Jewish] settlers . . . we should not take the hatred of the fellahin lightly’ (77). For the Zionist settlers, most of them from eastern Europe, it was the ‘Arabs’ who were foreigners and aliens, not them.
Moshe Smilansky: Let us not be too familiar with the Arab fellahin lest our children adopt their ways and learn from their ugly deeds. Let all those who are loyal to the Torah avoid ugliness and that which resembles it and keep their distance from the fellahin and their base attributes.
David Hacohen (Mapai Leader. David Hacohen): I remember being one of the first of our comrades [of the Ahdut Ha’avodah] to go to London after the First World War.... There 1 became a socialist....[ln Palestine] 1 had to fight my friends on the issue of Jewish socialism, to defend the fact that 1 would not accept Arabs in my trade union, the Histadrut; to defend preaching to housewives that they not buy at Arab stores; to prevent Arab workers from getting jobs there....To pour kerosene on Arab tomatoes: to attack Jewish housewives in the markets and smash the Arab eggs they had bought; to praise to the skies the Kereen Kayemet [Jewish National Fund] that sent Hankin to Beirut to buy land from absentee effendi [landlords] and to throw the fellahin [peasants] off the land-to buy dozens of dunams-from an Arab is permitted, but to sell, God forbid, one Jewish dunam to an Arab is prohibited.
Menahem Ussishkin, 1930 (leading figure of the Yishuv and former chairment of the JNF): "We must continually raise the demand that our land be returned to our possession....lf there are other inhabitants there, they must be transferred to some other place. We must take over the land. We have a greater and nobler ideal than preserving several hundred thousands of Arab fellahin"
Conclusion: Now why would the Jewish Virtual Library use this quote by Gurion to describe the treatment and views towards the Fellahin? It does not reflect the viewpoints of settlers or Zionist leaders at the time and did not reflect the reality of how the Fellahin were treated by early zionist settlers. It clearly chose this quote to portray the early zionists as a moral group rather than acknowledging the questionable attitudes of early zionist groups and settlers. If we are hoping for any sort of peace, Israel needs to admit when it has genuinely mistreated the Palestinians without good enough reason both historically and recently.
TLDR: History is not black and white, yet you can hardly find any admissions of wrongdoings from zionists/israelis. Could it really be possible that one of the longest conflicts in modern history is purely a result of the Palestinians 'throwing away opportunities'? Does Israel really bare no responsibility in any of this? Logically, that sounds ridiculous but all Palestinian grievances are dismissed as illegitimate by a majority of israelis and zionists. Israel clearly denies current and historical atrocities (I gave one example) and refuses to accept any responsibility in how the conflict played out. Obviously Suicide bombings and October 7th have hurt the Palestinian cause but Israel/zionists needs to admit to current and historical wrongdoings if there is any hope of having a dialogue about this conflict.

NEW JERSEY
RHONJ Preview: Glass is Shattered in Dramatic Fight as Rachel Calls Teresa “Hotdog-Lipped,” Jennifer Hints at New Friendship With Melissa, and Teresa Shows Jackie What “Real Friends Are Like” Amid Margaret Feud (Reality Blurb)
CAST DIVIDED RHONJ cast planning ‘separate’ premiere parties as Teresa Giudice and Melissa Gorga ‘can’t be in the same room together’ (The US Sun)
Teresa Giudice Reveals What Was "Really Good" About Her 15-Month Prison Sentence (Bravo)
How Jennifer Aydin Upgraded to a 9-Carat Canary Yellow Diamond Engagement Ring (Bravo)
Jennifer Aydin Gives a Tour of a Room in Her House "That Nobody Touches" (PHOTOS) (Bravo)
Who Is Dolores Catania’s Boyfriend, Paul Connell? Meet the Entrepreneur (Bravo)
Dolores Catania Says ‘RHONJ’ Fight at Rails Steakhouse Is the ‘Finale of a Lot of Relationships’ (Exclusive) (Us)
Melissa Gorga Teases RHONJ Season 14 Finale: ‘So Dirty and Just Not Good’ (Reality Tea)
Melissa Gorga ‘Never’ Thought Teresa Giudice Feud Threatened Her Place on RHONJ (Reality Tea)
Melissa Gorga Says Season 14 of ‘RHONJ’ Won’t Be Filled With ‘Family Drama’: ‘It’s Refreshing’ (The Wrap)
RHONJ Star Rachel Fuda Says Husband John’s 50-Lb. Weight Loss 'Definitely Improved' Their Sex Life (People)
RHONJ Star Says He Was ‘Being Attacked’ While Filming New Season (Heavy)
BEVERLY HILLS
Kyle Richards Makes a Major Change and Removes Umansky from Her Instagram Bio (Bravo)
Kyle Richards Takes You Inside What a "Good Morning" Looks Like at Her House (PICS) (Bravo)
Kyle Richards Says These $18 Bracelets Look like Real Diamonds and Make Great Mother's Day Gifts (E!)
Kyle Richards Reflects on ‘Favorite Moment’ With Lisa Vanderpump (Reality Tea)
Lisa Rinna Leaving Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Was Her Best Decision, Here’s Why (Reality Tea)
Marcellus Wiley: 'Real Housewives' Wasted My Damn Time! (OutKick)
ORANGE COUNTY
Tamra Judge Gives a Peek at Her Gorgeous Kitchen While Having a Very "Good Morning" (Bravo)
MIAMI
‘Housewives’ OG Comments on Former Co-Star’s Sudden Divorce (Heavy)
BRAVO
A HISTORY OF REAL HOUSEWIVES ATTENDING THE MET GALA (Fashionista)
Ranking The Real Housewives cast by the whopping amount they’ve spent on plastic surgery (The Tab)
Gypsy Rose Blanchard Says ‘Vanderpump Rules’ Eatery SUR Is ‘Serving and Slaying’ During Visit (Us)
One Year After Scandoval, an Expanded Vanderpump Universe (The New York Times)
Andy Cohen Explains ‘Vanderpump Rules’ Summer Pause on Season 12 Production (The Hollywood Reporter)
Ariana Madix Admits Money Played a Part in Pump Rules Return (Reality Tea)
Jeremy Madix Admits He’s “Side-Eyeing” Ariana Madix’s Boyfriend Daniel Wai, Applauds Lala Kent for Being “Protective” Amid Vanderpump Rules Feud (Reality Blurb)
Lala Kent exposes her baby bump AGAIN in a racy maternity look while out in LA - amid news Vanderpump Rules is pausing production for the summer (Daily Mail)
Brock Davies Reveals His “Uphill Battle” at Home: “Not Every Day Is a Success” (Bravo)
Brock Davies Is a Totally Different Man Before and After His Hair Transformation (Bravo)
Garcelle Beauvais’ Son Oliver Saunders Slams ‘Shocking’ Vanderpump Rules Editing (Reality Tea)
Brittany Cartwright Feels Like Jax Taylor’s ‘Punching Bag’ After He Shames Her ‘Drinking’ Again (Us)
Kristen Doute and Luke Broderick Confirm ‘The Valley’ Won’t Have a Reunion, Don’t Have Season 2 News (Us)
Kristen Doute’s Co-Star Says He Planned on Being Her Sperm Donor (Heavy)
Janet Caperna Reveals Whether She’ll Be Friends with Kristen Doute Again: “It Was a Pause” (Bravo)

So I've just finished season 9 and oh my, so much drama! I'll share some of my reflections below.

• Camille's Behavior: What was going on with Camille in the finale? She seemed really unstable. Was this a result of recent personal issues with the fire, marriage, etc.? Also, I was wondering why was she considered a guest if she was as active as all the other housewives?
  
• I like Denise! Not sure how popular that is here. I found her authentic and loved her calm, chilled vibe. I look forward to seeing her develop in the group.
  
• The amount of lawsuits and corruption amongst the rich and famous! It seems like they've built their wealth from stepping on others, and they all deflect conversations and cover for one another as they hope to get the same back. There's so much fakeness! I can't imagine being in a friendship with certain subjects are always taboo. We can discuss penis size and sex positions or your deep thoughts about family relationships, but when it gets to money or Botox- it's a no-no.
  
• Was Andy genuinely upset with LVP's absence and lack of communication, or does he and production welcome the drama? I know the public love her , but how does production perceive LVP?
  
• I don't like Teddy on the show, but I do feel sorry for her. She lacks self-awareness and doesn't know when to stop. In her mind, she is right and justified in getting in everyone's business, and she doesn't realize how she comes across. I think there's some sort of social or ND issue at play with her.
  
• I didn't like Erika's response on cosmetics, saying anyone can get it done. That's extremely out of touch. Not everyone is looking to marry some old corrupt lawyer to fund their lifestyle. The same tone deafness regarding eat what you want and you can still stay thin. She needs to acknowledge that not all bodies work that way.
  

Would love to hear your thoughts on this!

What social media is really doing to us.
According to the department of health, in a recent study they found out that children and adolescents who spend more than 3 hours a day on social media face double the risk of mental health problems including experiencing symptoms of depression and anxiety.
Children today no longer play outside. They no longer read unless it's a meme. They are becoming antisocial and interverted. They have no social skills and are more likely to try to commit suicide.
Yes, social media can be great. You can connect with friends and family you lost touch with. It can answer questions you previously had to pull out a dictionary for. Yes, another dinosaur reference. It is great for so many things, but it comes with a down, dark side as well.
With all the “fake” people on social media trying to front or look a certain way that is so not even close to real life, so many people feel like they can't compete. This brings on anxiety and depression. Couple that with cyberbullying, and that is a dangerous mix.
Then there are shows like The housewives of who gives a shit, where grown ass women are after each other and putting each other down or trying to outdo one another. Are these the “role models” we are showing to young girls, seriously? And we wonder why we have these statistics? Come on, people, get real. Look at what's going on in La La Land that these kids are thinking is real.
This is not real, but when you don't know any better, you think it is. And you strive to be skinny or beautiful or have all these things like they do. No one shows people fronting and not being able to pay their bills. These beautiful people get thousands of dollars worth of work. The down and dirty side of fame that no one one ever talks about. This is killing our youth who are trying to keep up with the fantasy.
So today, my friends, I am here to say get real! Let's start posting the real stuff. Let's talk about our failures or our heartbreak. Let us show our youth that this is a make-believe world and that you are wonderful just the way you are, flaws and all. The only way we are going to help them is by being real and showing them what social media is really doing to us. “Be the change you want to see”

Pardon my English but I am at a crossroads in my life now I don’t know how to navigate.
I met my ex 5 years ago and we quickly became good friends. Her ex was a good friend of mine but due to some arguments we had a falling out and I blocked both of them. After 4 months my ex contacted and me confessed she had a crush on me and we came into a relationship.
She was my first serious relationship and my first at everything, we visited many places together, tried a lot of things together and most of them were also her first. During our relationship which lasted 3 years and a few months, we had a lot of fights like really bad words would be thrown from my and her side but we made it up in a day and other days we are really happy. If I have to sum it up I’d say was happy and I guess she was too.
Until recently 3 months ago my father passed away and she left me two weeks after that and hooked up with a guy, then dated another guy then now dating another guy. Here’s the thing despite all this I was ready to take her back my only condition was block and delete their numbers however she wouldn’t.
Until even now she puts it all on me, tells me I was grumpy and I admit I was but in my defense arguing with her daily took a toll on me and it was due to the smallest of issue, she would find issue in every thing and insulted my family on a daily basis my mother and sister who always liked her and even my mother who called her daughter in law, she also insulted my father who was mentally ill and couldn’t understand anything. Other times she would praise my family so much.
My relatives mostly my two aunts only they didn’t like her but to be fair I come from a very big family and they always have issues with literally anything, they even tried to cancel My two elder brother’s weddings. But after they got married they stopped interfering. My aunts are basically those housewives who have nothing to expect gossip and bitch and in times they gossip about each other too. I know they are not relevant. I told my ex the same but she really insulted them harshly and I also took up this issue with my aunts who played ignorant both are around 50.
When she cheated and went to date others she told me that was the issue but last year around August I found her talking all night with a co Worker and sending her snaps (not nudes but revealing). I don’t even know if they did anything but we didn’t have contact for two weeks during the time and she swore she didn’t do anything.
I know I am pathetic, I tolerated her every insult and even right now as she is going on dates I want her back. She randomly calls me every day and cries or tells me how she misses me and how she is hurting more than me even though she is the one who has changed 3 guys (maybe 4) in a span of 3 months and that they are so good that she wishes I was like them. Ironically, all of them left her after a few weeks and she insists she ghosted them and can’t focus on them due to me, now she is dating someone new while telling me how she misses me and loves me.
Even now she tried to make me work where she works and told me if someone comes and picks up her I don’t need to get mad and we can be friends I admit I joined the company and left within a day because seeing her with someone else I can’t handle.
I really don’t know what to do now, I often think about suicide, I want to forget her but every time she contacts me in any way I go running back. And she knows I will maybe that’s why she keeps me around, she even said not in the future she is tried of dating others she will come back to me and insists I also date others, I admit when she cheated for the third time I hooked up but it felt Empty because it was not her.
I don’t know what to do, I know I need to cut contact with her totally but I keep going back when she calls. But how do i do that?

Pardon the insomnia induced diatribe I’m about to unload. I’ve been an OG watcher, and was 22 when OC came out, I’ll be 40 on Saturday. I work from home, stressful job, and love having Bravo playing in the background; it’s my comfort TV. Currently rewatching OC and holy shit; the difference watching this as an almost-40 year old vs a frontal-lobe-still-cooking 22 year old is wild. Below is what is jumping out.

• this franchise is much darker than I realized. Watching Lori’s son knowing he recently passed is so sad. Watching the 2008 financial crash through grown up eyes is also a wild ride. The eviction of the Curtin family, and watching her youngest cry out for help, is also much more disturbing than I clocked. *Vicki: somehow, I respect her more watching it now. Obviously, she’s still a whacko, and I’m on season 5 so any super problematic views haven’t popped up yet. (Although gate keeping Breanas virginity is gross). But I appreciate her hustle more than I did as a kid. *Tamra: wow, she is much more conniving than I realized. Watching her T up the divorce with Simon is wild. “Naked wasted” so much worse than I realized, and her innuendos with Ryan are so, so gross. *the evolution of beauty standard and normalization of Botox and fillers plays out season to season. I say this as someone who currently can’t move their forehead thanks to some fresh ‘tox, so no judgement, but the evolution happens so quickly and some of the changes are alarming. *Jim & Slade: still the worst. Glad that even at 22 I could feel their sleaze through the camera. *Alexis: an excellent housewife. As I rewatch the various seasons, I think that my biggest takeaway is there is a huge difference between a great person and a great housewife. In my younger years, without realizing it, I watched through the lens of who I wanted to be friends with, who I could see myself in, who seemed like someone I could be around etc. this made me HATE people like Alexis, Vicki, Ramona, Nene etc. when I started appreciating the camp, the messy, the complete lack of self awareness that great housewives carry, my perspective flipped. Lisa Barlow is the perfect example where I went from ‘hate’ to ‘love that’

Thanks for coming to my TED talk. Sorry for any typos or incoherent thoughts, I only slept 3 hours last night. Edit for typos

Ever since 4th grade, I suspected something was up between my parents. They always argued, shit-talked eachother on car rides, and never went out on dates or anything. My dad was and still is extremely conservative and christian, so he would always say racist, homophobic, and sexist things. I just tuned him out.
During 5th grade, they started becoming more open about their issues with eachother. They always took out their frustrations on me and my brother, finding something as simple as forgetting to pick up a sock to yell at us.
When 6th grade rolled around and my brother reached his sophomore year in highschool, he became depressed. Didn't do his school work, just sat in his room and played games all day. It got so bad that my parents argued over every dinner, car ride, and even in public. They were planning to divorce. At the time, I was just cast aside and hiding in my room every time my brother and dad fought- both verbally and physically at times.
7th grade came. Everything started looking up. My parents still argued, but not as much as 6th grade and my brother started becoming productive again. He became better and I'm proud of him to this day.
Now, I'm in 8th grade. It's my turn to be the problematic kid. I lost my motivation, my will to be productive, and even gained an eating disorder. My parents argue every day again. I'm getting better, but my addiction to my phone still hasn't gone down much.
Just a couple days ago, one of my friends- a guy who's gay- came over so I can teach him to swim. I told my mom and she was fine with it, so I figured my dad would be okay too. Turns out, my dad almost beat my friend with a broom and forced him to leave my house. Afterwords, he assumed that I'm gay too. He thinks that I'm a gay demon from hell and has been forcing me to do house chores he didn't make me do before. I think this is because he thinks that if I work more- doing 'housewife' chores- then I'll be a good wife and give birth to thousands of kids. (This is actually his ideology).
While on a grocery run with my mom, I complained to her that dad was being unreasonable. He started verbally abusing me, bringing up more of his rants about how women should just be housewives and that the gays are demons. He thinks I'm a gay demon as well. Then... in the heat of the moment, he told me that after divorcing my mother, he's going to remarry to a younger woman and make her give birth to children that'll be better, smarter, and more successful than me.
My mother just laughed, acted like this was expected, and said that she hated him too.
There's more to the story, but I'd prefer to just keep it like this.
Ever since then, I've been spiraling. I hate my dad. I pity my mom. And who knows if my brother will become a racist, homophobic man like my father?
I didn't tell my brother any of this- I'm afraid that he might think I'm a gay demon too.
I just wish that I could disappear; go with my bad grades, my problematic life, and my terrible dad.