I'm afraid right now I cannot find words to describe the course of events over the past few days. I will try my best to format this well but I apologize, right now I'm coming out of an autistic meltdown.
On Friday, my instincts were screaming to check on my dad. I called him, and he was slurring worse than he'd be when drinking. We agreed I would come over to check on him after work. There were several notable things when I came there initially: his garage and gate blocking the driveway (this is a literal gate, he is extremely paranoid and his house is a fortress) were wide open, and his truck was missing. I conferred with my mother and sister. My sister was also quite skeptical of what may be occurring, however my mom said he was out getting cigarettes probably and basically not to worry about it. I went back over there, with the sense of something being profoundly wrong. I attempted to open both front and back doors, nothing.
Eventually, I tried the windows and found one that was unlocked. I crawled in and was not prepared for what I was about to see. He was laying there, in delirium and hallucinating. His body was thin and wasting, covered in cuts and bruises. His eye was swollen and blackened. Upon returning a day ago we discovered many holes in the wall roughly the size of a head, as well as further evidence of falls. I called my sister and showed her how he was behaving as well as the injuries and we concluded that his life was in danger.
In the hospital, he was found to have numerous air pockets in his arm as well as discovering he had developed sepsis, which began releasing bacteria into his bloodstream shortly after beginning antibiotic treatment. He had begun abusing illicit substances again. He is being declared unable to take care of himself and his house has been declared a biohazard. He also cannot remember where his truck is.
This is the most I can go on. I'm having trouble recalling everything. Everyone keeps telling me that he would've died if I hadn't on a whim crawled in his house to be extra sure. This is all too much. Before any of this had happened, I was already struggling with my own suicidal ideations. I keep looking at my dad like a mirror because I am so scared I am headed in that same direction, of dying alone without anyone noticing or caring, and drowning my sorrow with drugs and alcohol. I can't make friends anymore. Whatever confidence I had in being likeable and interesting no longer exists. The concept of friendship is dubious. I really don't have anyone except my boyfriend with whom I cannot live yet. My mother is a BPD narcissist and expected us to celebrate Mother's Day yesterday after everything that happened. I have had no insurance and can't address my own issues until I do, and my job is killing my soul. Being a pharmacy tech is so hard. I have been sleeping 2-4 hours for the past month when I work.

I’m coming through Denver in June 28-29, I’ll be staying near downtown (capital hill, cherry creek). I was trying to find anything about shows to go to when I’m there, but all that comes up is Blink-182.
If there is any shows on that Friday night especially, please let me know. I lived in the area 30 years ago, so I do not know where to start to find out what is happening. In the late 80’s and early 90’s I would just grab a westword or go to see fliers at wax trax. I can not do either of those things from here.
Thanks to any Denver punks that may have info please post or send me a DM.

I think I figured out how to do self-attention in NlogN computation steps rather than N^2, with a caveat. I'm not trying to be an academic, so I don't care to publish this formally, but I thought that some people might be interested. My construction is not efficient or practical, but the fact that it can be done at all might motivate further work to find efficient alternatives.
tl;dr Use the parallel scan technique to compute taylor series basis functions needed to compute the causal self-attention layer and sum these together weighted by the values vector and 1 to get the numerator and denominator of the softmax activation of the full causal self-attention layer. The basis functions that you have to compute are both the basis functions for the numerator of the self-attention layer, $\sum_{i=0}^{j-1} k(i)_a^n q(j)_b^m v(i)$ and the normalization $\sum_{i=0}^{j-1} k(i)_a^n q(j)_b^m$. k(i)_a^n is component-a of the ith key vector raised to the power of n multiplied by q(j)_b^m which is component-b of the jth query vector raised to the power of m, which is multiplied by the value vector at position i in the first equation and by 1 in the second, and all summed together. Once you can do this, you've computed a basis function for a Taylor series. Multiply each basis function by a coefficient and sum them together to create an arbitrary function of k(i) and q(j). Using this technique, we can compute the Taylor series approximation for the numerator and the denominator of the softmax activation each taking logN * {number of coefficients} parallel steps, or O(N) sequential steps by treating the accumulation as a type of RNN.

Background

I was inspired to think about this because I was implementing MAMBA and trying to understand what kind of non-linearities can be created using the parallel scan technique. If you don't know what parallel scan is, let me demonstrate with an example. The simplest example of the parallel scan technique is computing all partial sums of a sequence of numbers in log(N) time. Imagine you have a sequence [a_1, a_2, a_3, a_4, ...]. You can compute all partial sums by first adding a_i to a_{i -1}, where a_{-1} is zero, and generally a_{-n} is defined to be zero. Then take the result, call it r = [a_1, a_1+a_2, a_2 + a_3, ...], and compute r_i + r_{i-2}, which gives [a_1, a_1+a_2, a_1+a_2+a_3, ...]. The first 4 partial sums are already complete. The next step would be r_i + r_{i-2**2}, and the next step, just increase the power of 2 until i-2**power is negative for every i in the sequence. It basically sums groups, and then sums those groups together, and so on and so forth until the partial sum at each position is calculated. The scan technique is a way to parallelize an RNN. Essentially, you remove some nonlinearities in the RNN so that recurrence equation becomes associative. Once it is associative, you can compute the hidden state at each position of the sequence in log N parallel steps, where each parallel step has O(N) computations.

The Meat of It

In the background section, I explained how to compute a partial sum in O(log(N)) time and O(NlogN) computation steps (or O(N) time and O(N) computation steps by using RNNs) using the parallel scan technique. I'll use this now to construct the Taylor series for causal self-attention layer.
Let's assume we have a tensor x of shape (sequence_length, embedding_dim), and we can compute the query, key and value tensors from x using q=Qx, k=Kx and v=Vx, where Q, K and V are matrices. Compute y = (k[:,i]**n)*v. Now use the parallel scan technique to accumulate the partial sums of every vector in y, which will give ParallelPartialSum(y)=[y[0,:], y[0,:]+y[1,:], ...]. Now multiply the result by q[:,j]**m, and now we have a basis function for a Taylor series expansion. The full formula is q[:,j]**m * ParallelPartialSum((k[:,i]**n)*v). Next, we can add up these functions for different powers of n and m using coefficients to approximate any function. The final equation is \sum_{n, m} A_{n, m} q[:,j]**m * ParallelPartialSum((k[:,i]**n)*v).
What is left is to find the Taylor series coefficients A_{n, m} and to calculate the normalization for the softmax. I'm not actually going to give an equation for A_{n, m}, but I will show that it can be done. First, I'm just going to write $q \cdot k$ in place of $q[:,j,:] \cdot k[:,i,:]$ to make it easier to write and read. We want the Taylor series of $exp(q \cdot k) = 1 + (q \cdot k) + (q \cdot k)**2 / 2! + ... + (q \cdot k)**n / n! + ...$. To find the Taylor series coefficient for every component of q and component of k and every power of each, you'd have to expand out (q \cdot k)**n /n! for every n. It can be done but I'm not going to do it. Just assume that A_{n, m} is equal to these coefficients, and voila, we have the numerator of the softmax equation for self-attention. We still need the denominator. To compute the denominator of the softmax over attention scores, you compute the same sum replacing the value tensor with the number 1. $\sum_{n, m} A_{n, m} x[:,j]**m * ParallelPartialSum((x[:,i]**n))$, where again the value vector at the end of the equation is removed. The final equation for the causal self-attention layer is:
$$ (\sum_{n, m} A_{n, m} q[:,j]**m * ParallelPartialSum((k[:,i]**n)*v)) / (\sum_{n, m} A_{n, m} q[:,j]**m * ParallelPartialSum((k[:,i]**n))) $$
Where again, A_{n, m} are the Taylor series coefficients for exp( q \cdot k).

Take-Aways

One big take away from this work, is that since causal self-attention can be calculated using the parallel scan technique, and since a parallel scan can be computed with an RNN, it follows that full causal self-attention can be computed with RNNs. The caveat is that you need many RNNs, one for each Taylor series basis function, so to get a good enough approximation of the softmax activation, you'd probably need a lot of coefficients, more than would be practical. On the other hand, what if there is a related activation that does the job of the softmax, but can be constructed with far fewer parallel scans? Then full causal self-attention could be done using only a few RNNs. Also, there are other basis functions that can be computed with one parallel scan, for instance, basis functions for a Fourier series can be computed with one parallel scan.

Wasn't the whole idea of astrology to better make sense of yourself and your spiritual motives and arcs. It like many things in our failed society quickly devolved into munitions to bash on peoples exes and people they don't like. Here are some cherry picked examples

1. Ever notice when astrology forums discuss negative traits they always frame it through the lens of x because of y (y being something the NEED) to survive in the physical world ie im a virgo and i'm always critiquing and nagging because its how i can be useful. but these same forums will talk about aquarius as nah they just suck and they are toxic lol Like some signs get an explanation aqua and sometimes scorpio just get tossed.
   
2. People will say you attract what you internally think its all about your vibrations, but then they say oh i always attract idiots they wont leave me alone. ie pisces men virgo men. as if they had no part in the matter.
   
3. this is my favourite. when you ask ANY of the people on these astro forums why they don't just date the people who are meant for them. they wont respond because despite being "experts" they cant find a compatible mate. but then have the audacity to say everyone is toxic. well yes of course. if youre constantly dating aquas or geminis even thoguh youre meant to be dating a boring taurus of course everyone will seem toxic.
   

idk maybe its just me but on one spectrum you have the OFFICIAL astro forums of cringe experts and the other side of just casuals who use it to shit on their exes. I'm curious where the inbetween world is.

I’ve been a Skynyrd fan for a long time. They were the band that got me into Rock, and the first band I just completely nerded out on. They inspired me to learn guitar, write songs, and start a band. I can’t stress enough how much I respect Bob, Allen, Gary, Ronnie, Leon, Billy, Ed, Artimus, and Steve. Regardless of the personal demons of all of them and the fighting reputation that stuck to them; they were a different level of hardworking and dedicated to the craft. There’s a reason that those songs have stuck around so long. It’s because they worked so damn hard, running those songs over measure by measure hundreds of times to get them the EXACT way they wanted. They rehearsed 30 miles outside of town, way out in the north Florida woods right up against Peter’s Creek. And when you hear songs like Tuesday’s Gone, Simple Man, I Need You, or All I Can Do Is Write About It, it takes you right there. Even if you’ve never been to the South. They of course leaned into their reputation of Fighting Rednecks that could out drink, fight, or smoke anything. But even they got tired of that status quo as time went on. They had a grace about them on the flip side of that coin.
So to see what the band has been turned into is just so depressing. I mean I’ve just kept it to myself for years but after seeing the news about hell house I’ve just hit a boiling point. For those that don’t know, the farm that Hell House originally sat on has been divided and turned into a neighborhood. However there was one lot that was spared and not developed on. That was the space of property that Hell House originally sat on. A great guy bought the property to make sure it was saved. He even got a historical marker made that faced the creek which explained the significance of that land. But sadly this gentlemen passed away around the time of the pandemic. The lot was then put on the market and somebody very recently bought it. The HOA of the neighborhood stole the sign and made sure it would never be put back. To make things worse, the dipshit that bought the land tore up the original dock to “Put the boards on the sides of this shipping container house I’m building.”
While all of this went on, Johnny and the boys created that stupid ass Hell House whiskey brand just to watch the land be sold and turned into an Instagram Reels project. The band that “honors the legacy” and makes millions of dollars a year to do it, couldn’t lend a hand to save the place where it all started. They literally just profited off of the name, kinda ironic isn’t it? When you listen to those lyrics on All I Can Do Is Write About It, like “I can see the concrete slowly creeping” it’s reminds you of that grace that Ronnie and they guys had. And now it’s became the “Lynyrd Skynyrd Pepsi Budweiser Harley Davidson Hell Yeah Band” I mean has anyone else noticed this??

Round 1, Pick 32 - Xavier Legette, WR, South Carolina:
NFL: Legette, who had a terrific final season at South Carolina, is physical and a big-time vertical threat. This addition should be a big part of Bryce Young’s development in Year 2.
CBS Sports: B+. They have to get weapons for Bryce Young, so landing him makes sense. He is a player who plays physical and runs better than you think. He’s only done it for one year.
ESPN: Coach Dave Canales said it best: Legette brings versatility. The Panthers absolutely fell in love with Legette's ability to make plays all over the field, from catching passes to jet sweeps to kick returns. That versatility at a skill position is something Bryce Young didn't have last season, so this adds a unique weapon to take pressure off the second-year quarterback. He is also big (6-foot-1, 221 pounds) and fast (4.39 40), unlike any other Carolina receiver. He's a perfect fit for what Canales wants to create with the pass and run games.
NFL Absolutely Not Fake News: Can’t believe he is about to fulfill his dream of being picked in the 2nd round.
Round 2, Pick 46 - Jonathon Brooks, RB, Texas:
NFL: Had Brooks not suffered a torn ACL in November, he might have been a first-round pick. He's a shifty, speedy back who can hit the hole and go, and he should be Carolina's starter before long. I thought they might go center here, but Brooks makes sense for a team that lacked offensive juice.
CBS Sports: B-. Fun, three-down RB without much mileage on his legs. Can win between the tackle or on the perimeter and has feature back size. Elusive but not ridiculously in that regard. Fills a need but maybe a touch early. May not be 100% by September.
ESPN: As much as Canales has said he's excited about backs Chuba Hubbard and Miles Sanders, he obviously believed the running game needed an upgrade. You don't take a back in the second round unless you plan to use him, although Brooks may need time to fully recover from ACL surgery that caused him to miss the final three games last season. He's a playmaker who has a nose for the end zone (10 touchdowns on 187 carries last season), and general manager Dan Morgan said he was looking for guys who can score.
NFL Absolutely Not Fake News: Mixes the milk and cereal in his mouth, one bite and drink at a time.
Round 3, Pick 72 - Trevin Wallace, LB, Kentucky:
NFL: A late addition to my top 100 prospects list, Wallace is a top-tier athlete who finally seemed to find his groove last season -- on special teams but especially on defense. He's capable of covering tight ends and running backs and should impact all four downs, but Wallace is young and could use a redshirt year before he's ready to be featured on defense.
CBS Sports: C. Stocky, springy off-ball LB with speed to the football but one of the least-effective block-defeaters/avoiders I’ve scouted at the position. Not around the football much in coverage but fluid zone drops and has the athleticism to run with TEs. Very good tackler. Just unique strengths/weaknesses.
ESPN: Morgan entered the draft looking for "dawg mentality'' and he got that in Wallace. "Dawg mentality means you don't care if you go hurt somebody,'' Wallace said. "You don't go in there soft. I want you to be scared of me.'' Wallace isn't necessarily a long-term replacement for 30-year-old Shaq Thompson, but his ability to cover the field side-to-side and with speed gives him the potential to do that. Give him a year or so behind Thompson and Josey Jewell and he could prove to be a Day 2 steal.
NFL Absolutely Not Fake News: Enjoys going to the park to make faces at little kids, making them cry.
Round 4, Pick 101 - Ja’Tavion Sanders, TE, Texas:
NFL: Sanders is a fascinating athlete who remains in the developmental stage. He's not a quality blocker yet but has some untapped receiving skill. This is a worthy risk by general manager Dan Morgan and Co. as their hunt for playmakers continues.
CBS Sports: B. Big recruit who produced at Texas and is a smooth mover. Good, not amazing YAC and not a pure speed type. Minimal blocking chops. Reasonable weapon for Bryce Young but lacks burst so will have to get schemed up to get most of his catches in the NFL.
ESPN: Definitely an upgrade at a position that quarterback Young could have used some help from during his rookie season. Canales has spoken highly of Tommy Tremble, but he's not the dynamic pass-catching tight end that Sanders can become. Sanders had 99 receptions in three seasons, tops for a tight end in Texas history. He could pose problems for defenses, like Greg Olsen did during the development of quarterback Cam Newton. This was a no-brainer at this point.
NFL Absolutely Not Fake News: Insists he can distinguish between 50 shades of beige.
Round 5, Pick 157 - Chau Smith-Wade, CB, Washington State:
NFL: Smith-Wade opened eyes with a solid week at the Senior Bowl, consistently showing up around the ball and disrupting passes. His length almost certainly makes him a nickel only on defense, but there's some potential here if CSW develops.
CBS Sports: B+. Agitating CB who played outside but will have a home in the slot in the NFL. Plays more athletically than his testing. Lightning quick feet. Because of his smaller size, he tends to opt for diving tackle attempts more than wrapping up. Speed is a concern but could be masked inside. Up for any challenge.
ESPN: A definite need for depth at a position where injuries have hurt the past few years. Smith-Wade will be a backup and special teamer at best this season. He offers speed (4.54 40) and nose for the football that GM Dan Morgan wants. He's coming off a soft-tissue injury that forced him to miss the final five games and is more of a project at this point. Nickel, where he had two interceptions in the Senior Bowl, may be his future in the NFL.
NFL Absolutely Not Fake News: Thinks being a scrum master sounds kinda cool.
Round 6, Pick 200 - Jaden Crumedy, DT, Mississippi State:
NFL: Being 300-plus pounds and running a sub-5.0 40-yard dash gets you drafted. Crumedy doesn't have sterling production, but his maturity and experience should give him an edge in a fight for a roster spot in Carolina.
CBS Sports: C+. Older, very experienced interior rusher who won from multiple alignments in the SEC and has smooth athletic traits. Production never matched how fluid he is as an athlete and his hands. Needs to have a pass-rush plan more often. Has long stretches of invisibility. Plays hard every snap.
ESPN: This is totally a depth move. His ability to push the pocket is what Carolina will look for out of him in its 3-4 scheme. He likely won't be a threat to start, but he has the flexibility and size (6-4, 301) to play inside or out. Depth behind a solid starting three is key here.
NFL Absolutely Not Fake News: Once put together a 50,000 piece puzzle. It was a picture of a cloud.
Round 7, Pick 240 - Michael Barrett, LB, Michigan:
NFL: Punishing hitter in a sawed-off frame. Barrett's poor length will be tough to overcome, but his forceful play style is inspiring.
CBS Sports: C+. Has a nice blend of traits - - power, burst, coverage skill - - but not always the quickest to read where the ball is going. Quicker than fast and needs to get better beating or avoiding blockers on the way to the football.
ESPN: Barrett is undersized at 5-11, 233 pounds, but he has a nose for the football and brings a physicality to the game that makes up for his lack of size. Barrett should get a chance to contribute immediately, at least on special teams.
NFL Absolutely Not Fake News: Nursed a baby goat back to health after he hit it with a car.

I am currently TDY in Cali for at least 4 months and wanting to drive about an hour to LA and other cities around where I am located. I have asked my travel POC and all they say is it won't be reimbursed if it's for leisure which isn't the issue. I'm just trying to find out I can get in any trouble by leaving the area I am TDY to? Also this is all in a POV that I had brought up here since I wasn't allowed a rental. TIA for any info☺️

Hi! My first post here.
To cut to the chase, I have a mother who always wants to find something wrong with my life. Ever since I was a child, she found the smallest things to be mad at me for, such as doing a chore just slightly incorrectly, and every single time she'd call me "useless". She constantly compared me to other children, and still does the same now and my big age of 19. Apparently, I'm not independent enough, and I don't care about her enough, even though I'm constantly going out of my way to prove that she's wrong. She's my mother, I would do anything for her. But she doesn't see that at all. Once, I told her I didn't like it when she called me worthless, and she told me that she said it because I am. She never apologized. Trust me, there's loads of things she's done to me that many of my friends feel like would justify me running away, but I'm not going to be too morbid.
At the same time, she's my best friend. I'm an only child who grew up with little friends, so the person I interacted with the most was her. We share a lot of the same interests and gossip about family drama. It's at those times, I feel like I'm wrong about her. But this time, she did something I feel I can't forgive her for.
Last July, I finally got a boyfriend. It seems like we're soulmates...we met on dating app but found that we have so many friends in common and also that we used to go to the same school as children. He's more than I could ever ask for. He travels to where I am by train for more than 2 hours every week (so a total of 4-5 hours). Once, he travelled more than 3 hours (a total of 6 hours) to see me in my university campus because I was feeling depressed about my assignments.
He indulges in my passions and interests. He doesn't have much money but sometimes scrimps on his meals throughout the week so he can afford to get me a small treat like ice cream when we see each other. He bought me roses on Valentines. He buys me meaningful gifts whenever he can. He understands me on a super deep level and we talk about everything. I could call him at 3am with a problem and he'd pick up. He never gets mad at me, and we've never had an argument because we always sort out our issues by communicating effectively. Heck, he even follows me to church sometimes because he wants to show me that he's interested in the things that matter to me and because he wanted to make a good impression on my mom-who married someone who never took interest in anything she did or liked let alone follow her to church every other week.
He's the most amazing guy I could ever want, and his family loves me (he jokes that they love me more than him). It's just that I haven't met them yet, since there's the distance to take into account, and because both his parents work so they're constantly busy. Also, they wanted to respect the fact that my mother might not let me go all the way to their house because of how far it is. Still, he always tells his family about me, and I often speak to his 3 sisters on the phone as they're younger than me and sometimes like hearing my advice.
My boyfriend, though, has met my mother on multiple occasions and she told me she loved him. My dad on the other hand, is actively avoiding meeting him (example: we were supposed to follow my dad to the temple for a special occasion, but at the last minute he backed out. He would never back out from that kind of thing).
If you're wondering, this is where the issue starts. My mother thinks it's incredibly suspicious that I haven't met his family yet (even though I told her I'm meeting them on the day my boyfriend graduates from pre-university). It was never really a big deal to me, since I have met his close friends and spoken to his sisters-and the fact his parents knew about me and liked me was enough. I understood that they are both busy working people and they live quite far from me. But yesterday, all this blew up in my face.
I asked my mother if she'd be okay with me taking a trip with my boyfriend, just for a couple of days, to celebrate our first anniversary. I wasn't expecting a yes or no, really. Just asking. Initially she yelled at me about how I haven't even met his parents yet and how he hasn't met my dad yet (which was entirely his fault) and said we should do it in September instead. I said okay.
Then, when I got back to campus later that night, I called her again to check up on her and she brought this up again. She said my dad disapproved of the trip and went on for 15 minutes about many things. I'll summarize in a list about what she said.

• He isn't good enough for you
• He doesn't want you to meet his family
• His family probably doesn't like you because they haven't met you yet
• You guys are taking things too fast and should continue getting to know each other
• You're always sacrificing for him
• You're getting the short end of the stick
• There are better people for you to date
• You're sacrificing your studies for him and you'll get distracted by him

As you can see, none of these are true. The last one made me especially angry because I go to what is known as a "smart kid school" in my country and it's very hard to get a distinction on our assignments! However, a condition on my student loan says if I get first class honors, they will cancel my debt completely. So my mom kept burdening me with how I dug a hole by myself for choosing to be in a relationship with him during university life (EVEN THOUGH, she wanted me to date around in university before. The difference is, she wanted me to basically be a playboy...playgirl? I don't know. When my mom was young she was exactly that. Had tons of boyfriends and cheated on a lot of them. She even told me to join a speed dating event).
I had never been so hurt in my life! What happened to "don't worry about money just focus on getting your degree"? Anyway, my boyfriend never complains when I tell him I need to be by myself on that day because I need to study and do my work...I'm one of the hardest workers in my class and he knows how much my studies mean to me. It's not my fault I'm not getting distinctions.
Now I'm a mess. I want her to love my boyfriend, and I want my dad to love my boyfriend. But he's truly done as much as he can to get their approval but he's depressed himself knowing that none of his efforts have been seen by them. He has a life, a curfew, and a worrying mother too...he can't always be accommodating to me (his mother initially didn't like me because she felt like he was spending too much time and money coming to see me but came around eventually), so I accommodate to him whenever by choosing a convenient location for us to meet up and meeting up at a later time. Because of this, my mother says I'm doing too much because distance isn't an excuse (it kind of is).
Anyhow, my question is, how in the world do I deal with this? Or at least, I need some comfort...this is the best relationship I'm honestly ever going to have but my mother wants me to date around because that's what she thinks having fun means. She thinks I'm sacrificing everything when the truth is, I'm having loads of fun in university with my new friends, I still see my old friends, and I have more than enough time to focus on my studies. He's not distracting me from everything.
How do I convince such a stubborn woman to be on my side?

I'm a femboy and I have difficulty having a relationship with guys, they only want me to find me hidden in secrecy or to try to woo me with photos and videos. Do you know where I can find guys who love me?

Been a Windows and Android guy my entire life, and I always liked how they worked because they were so universal. I play games and do stuff the Mac was always criticized for being terrible at, so it never crossed my mind much before to try it out UNTIL-
Earlier in the year, the iBug bit me and I got extremely obsessed with Apple products. I was always watching keynotes where Steve would wax on about how good their products were, slowly tricking my brain into wanting shiny new thing. It got to the point where I set up a CRT on my desk and converted my desktop's HDMI output into composite so I could use infinitemac dot com the way it was originally experienced. I needed a Mac FAST!
My friend had an older 2017 13-inch non-TB 128 GB MacBook Pro lying around and gave it to me as a present (She's extremely nice for doing that, I thanked her profusely) so I could have a new Mac by the end of my school year. It arrives just after class and I instantly notice how thin and sleek it looks, already interesting. I turn it on and notice how incredible the display panel looked, the MacOS interface that I'd gotten used to, and soaking in how it all worked within such a tiny space. It was so small, in fact, that it beat out my already miniscule school laptop in size and performance (some HP ProBook). I also noticed how quiet it was, comparing to my monster gaming laptop and how the fans spun up doing literally anything. Just overall, I was floored, especially when trying the external display out (with a dongle, of course) and seeing it could be a suitable desktop if I needed a backup.
I even love things about this machine that most people seem to hate, like the butterfly keyboard. I can't speak for other people and if theirs had broken keys or something, but I genuinely enjoy the feel of something like this and now prefer it to my ProBook's average laptop keyboard. The trackpad took a bit to get used to, but still now I'm shocked that the click I'm feeling is just haptics. That's some damn magic right there, playing with the force click checkbox and seeing it in real time change the depth to which an unmoving piece of glass moves lol.
While I'm 95% satisfied with my machine and love everything I can do with it, my only gripes are in the few limitations I really feel. Not a bad spot to have your only problem be wanting more of your same great thing, but the storage, ram, and battery are all obvious upgrades if I had the knowhow. Maybe it'll even push me to get a used M1 or 2 in the future with the various upgrades you'd find on there, who knows. Regardless, this Mac is gonna be my daily general driver outside my phone and I'm so pleased with everything it brings. I totally get the Apple thing now haha

There's so much to this story so idk where to start, I was in a 6 1/2 year long relationship, there were many ups and downs but ultimately I got to a point where I was numb, I didn't feel as strongly as I once did, everyday another stupid fight over things that weren't worth it, I just stopped being happy. I broke up with her and not too long later I became friends with this one girl I knew in highschool. We hung out a few times and I don't know everything just clicked, I felt completely myself around her and I quickly grew strong feelings for her to which led to me finding out she shared the same feelings. Unfortunately due to me letting my past relationship affect things between us there were a handful of moments where we fought for various reasons and my response after fighting with her was to just leave and go home. It's not the right thing especially when discovering she has abandonment issues so me doing that made it even worse for her. The point we're at is while she admits she does love me and I do make her happy she has the uncertainty that I'm going to leave the moment we fight which sadly I can't argue that point besides telling her I'm not going anywhere. She wants me to show in some way shape or form that this time no matter even if fight over something I'm not going to run and while yes I don't intend too I just don't know how else to show it aside from waiting for us to fight then not running which yes I'm aware sounds stupid as fuck of me to even think that's a real solution >_<. Anyway I'm rambling, so sorry about that, I would like to know if anyone has any suggestions on how I can show her it's different now?

Hi all! I find myself in the position of the prosecutor and defense wanting me to submit a CV to be able to testify as an expert witness. I have a homicide trial coming up where I was the primary and will be testifying about a phone extraction, iCloud and social media warrants etc. The data found is pretty simple, so I'm not worried about that part but haven't written a resume or CV in forever. I thought I recently saw a Webinar or something similar regarding writing a CV, but can't find wherever it was now. Anyone know of any good resources? I'm trying to figure out little stuff like whether I should add the class description, whether I'm expected to add copies of certificates etc. Anyone know where I can find some examples? The Google hasn't been super helpful. Maybe I'll see what Chatgpt has to say lol.

What are your favorite outdoor patios, ideally with games or bonfires, in Chicago?
I drove past a place near Andersonville that was perfect and can’t seem to find it.
Ideally looking for a place that is fully open air & with room to spread out from other groups.
Also very receptive to places where you can order through a window and take your treat to a nearby park or outdoor seating (like Red June Cafe in Bucktown or Miko Italian Ice in Logan)
Context: I’m immunocompromised & also now have long covid and am really trying to avoid reinfection so I don’t get even sicker. looking for lower-risk ways to socialize with this nice weather ☀️

I posted about this awhile back and did not get much response but I am gaslighting myself and need people who have gone through this or similar to help me be objective.
I will Try to keep this brief but it's a lot.
-long history of stricturing Crohn's of terminal ileum diagnosed in 2006. First resection Sept 2018, Last resection in April 2022. Surgeon told me he found Crohn's high up in small bowel, could not remove safely, hoped new biologic (Stelara) would take care of it.
-6 month delay in starting Stelara due to GI F up (forgot to send preauthorization)
-July 2022 began having severe upper gastric pain (under ribs and belly button) after even the smallest amount of food, followed by severe nausea and often vomiting. Within half hour multiple liquid BM's undigested food and insane amount of fluid. Began to eat less and less, moved to soft diet, and finally to complete liquids in August 2023
-July 2023-Oct 2023- Weight loss of 20 lbs over 3 month period. Many ER visits needed for rehydration and IV anti emetics and pain meds as could not keep down any oral meds. GI did colonoscopy but only found microscopic Crohn's in anastomosis site (he only took 2 biopsies from that area and nowhere else). CT's done in hospital showed thickening of wall of ascending colon, and collapsed bowel, free fluid in peritoneum. GI dismissed as "not reliable". Fecal Cal slightly elevated. Constant low grade anemia. After 4th ER visit in Oct 2023 they did a high res Ultrasound and I was admitted by surgery department. However, as I was urgent but not emergent, there were no beds available. Was given choice of staying in ER and receiving IV steroids, or going home and following up with GI. Chose home and was given Entocort. Entocort slowed down bowel from 30-50 bm's a day to ten. Did not help pain, nausea, vomiting, lack of ability to eat. After several desperate emails where I begged for help, said I wanted to die-GI ordered urgent MRI, would not change meds or give prednisone without "proof".
-November 2023-Began to experience fatigue like never before. Could hardly keep eyes open. This would be followed by severe upper gastric pain, nausea, vomiting and diarrhea that went on for days, followed by constipation for 1-2 days and severe bloating, only on the left side of belly which would be rock hard and hot to the touch. Then the diarrhea cycle woud begin again. Always pure liquid, sometimes black, always tons of mucous.
-Went to Mexico to visit my parents for the holidays where I usually feel better but still could not eat. Injecting myself with IM Gravol (anti emetic) just to keep fluids down. I lived off of chicken broth with rice. Saw GI in private hospital. Ordered full workup. Blood found in stool. 3 D CT ordered (could not find a vein for IV after 5 nurses, two doctors, and a radiologist with a vein finder so only had oral contrast) showed inflammation in small bowel, thickening of the ascending colon wall 11 mm, and inflammation of ileum. He wanted to send me to special IBD hospital in Mexico City for MRI but it would have cost 2500$ so I decided to wait till I got home to Canada where it would be free. Treated me with antibiotics for IBS (only available in Mexico and Germany) Zero improvement. I lived off of electrolyte drinks.
-Jan 29th 2024 returned to hospital because I could not keep any oral meds in (pills would be in toilet) also pain was 9/10, high fever, vomiting. Admitted again, but no beds. Left AMA with another prescription for Entocort.
-Feb 12 2024- High fever followed by two days of 40 plus liquid BM's, some of them bloody, all of them black. Husband insisted back to ER where I was admitted immediately. Cortisol levels 11 (close to adrenal failure) very low potassium. Doc said if we'd waited I likely would have died from heart event. Spent 8 + weeks in hospital having every kind of test imaginable. NOTHING showed on MRI, inflammation on CT, lower scope clear, upper endoscopy showed inflammation in esophagus, stomach, and duodenum. Negative for H Pylori, negative for celiac. Started on 150 mg of hydrocortisone for low cortisol to rescue my organs. MRI of brain showed small tumour on pituitary. Endocrinologist did ACTH test and was unhappy, kept me on 40 mg of hydrocortisone IV. PICC line insertion went awry when they Discovered I had complete stenosis of veins and needed port catheter surgically implanted. Was on TPN for 5 weeks. Needed pain meds and anti emetics every 4 hours or severe vomiting and diarrhea would ensue. 30-50 liquid bm's continued (they made me write down everything I ingested and every time I had a BM. They tested me for everything. No blood, NO CDiff, no parasites, no infection. High fever 104.5 plus delirium and CRP shot up to 50. Continued Anemia, blood work all over the place, even with TPN I needed potassium and sodium boluses 3 times a day.
-Requested pill endoscopy, GI said no Crohn's, no need for test. Suggested psych evaluation for a fucking eating disorder. Endocrinologist disagreed, said starvation and whatever disease process was causing symptoms was causing my cortisol issue. Psych diagnosed medical PTSD and generalized anxiety disorder (no shit) but NO eating disorder. Fired GI and hired IBD specialist from another city. Re ran all tests, CT showed huge diverticulum on duodenum otherwise clear. Was going to be moved to a ward from a private room. Had a panic attack because I could not share a bathroom and was not about to use a commode. Asked to be discharged after nearly 9 weeks. They were so overcrowded and basically did not know what else to do to help me, so they let me go even though I was still on TPN and NPO. Got a 5 minute instruction on how to insert a butterfly catheter for pain meds, and let go.
-Present-3 weeks later, still on liquid diet, (Boost drinks, blended oatmeal, yoghurt and soup) still on sub q and IM meds. Finally got new IBD doc to order capsule endoscopy and is treating me for SIBO (never been tested) plus set me up with nutritionist and psychologist for support. MRI repeated- totally clear.
I FEEL CRAZY. This is the sickest I have ever felt. It's been almost a year since I chewed food. The pain under my ribs just to the left of my belly button is now constant, whether I eat or not, pain meds barely take the edge off. Sometimes it's so intense I can hardly breathe. I keep passing out on the toilet. I projectile vomit daily, even using Gravol and Pantoprozole, the bile acid is awful. I've been doing tons of research and have learned that GDC and Jejunal Crohn's are extremely hard to diagnose. I have every single symptom and fit the criteria. Does this sound familiar to anyone????

A loose adaptation of Alice in Wonderland but very Matrix-y aesthetics like lots of very 90s black leather and slicked back hair and trench coats kind of costumes. There was definitely a scene where Alice finds out emotions can be sold and bottled in this one shop. I think it came out in the early 2000s, a little before the first Tim Burton Alice in Wonderland movie.

Hey so I was playing fallout4 with the new update and all, I had to restart cuz I didn’t have the other DLC’s installed. But my first time when I did the mission to kill pyro, I fast traveled to the outpost north west of where pyro was and I ran into two enclave guys, one was in power armor and the other wasn’t. The one that wasn’t had in his inventory the “orders kill Carlos” then you had to complete their orders or something, does anyone know the name of that quest? Because when I tried it again after re loading my old save I didn’t run into those two so didn’t find that guy with the order to kill Carlos

Hello, I'm new to reddit, but decided to post this on a throwaway anyway just in case my boyfriend finds this post. I am neuro-divergent(diagnosed ADHD and I might have autism. I am seeing a doctor for that for a diagnosis) I feel like it has an effect on how I process this so I felt like I should mention it. I'm not really sure how to put this so I'm going to try and be as clear as I can, please excuse my grammar. English is my second language.
I(Female, almost 30) and my boyfriend(Male, a bit over 30) have been together for 2 years. He is the best, most understanding and most loving person I've ever met. He has shown me support in so many different ways and has helped accept myself as who I am.
The thing I have a problem with, is his ex. They broke up almost a year before he and I even me. She tried to remain in contact and he did his best to not have anything to do with her. It wasn't always possible, because they shared a friend group. I am now friends with his friends as well and I have met her, but I don't really know her. I do know that some people in the friend group don't really like her, because she seems very shallow and self-absorbed. Their relationship was long distance and they broke up because she cheated on him twice. The first time she cheated was with her "ex". She apparently never broke up with him after all and she was was just two timing them and lied to everyone in the friend group. The second time she found someone new closer to where she lives and after ignoring my boyfriend for a while she told him that she has someone else. The only reason he even took her back was because someone close to her had died and he felt obligated to help her. He doesn't have any feelings towards her anymore and I can see that. I am not jealous of them at all and even when she was still part of the friend group, I didn't feel threatened because of her. She did contact him this year apologizing for everything(before she was just denying that she ever cheated on him), saying that she never meant for any of it to happen and blahblahblah. He told her that he does not want anything to do with her. She tried to play the victim but no one really went along with it and she disappeared from the friend group.
My issue is the extremely strong anger I feel towards her. When I heard about it for the first time, I felt this massive ball of strong emotions and I wanted to call her every name in the book. I didn't contact her as I felt it wasn't my place to say anything and it was some time ago. I did draft a message that was never meant to be sent and I showed it to him. I did tell him about my feelings towards her and he did understand, though he said he doesn't really care about her or the situation anymore. I just sometimes feel like I can't let go of the anger and pain I feel. I know he was hurting back then and he had to go through it all alone, since he didn't feel like he could tell our friend group. It just hurts me and makes me want to cry sometimes if I happen to remember it. It even keeps me up at night sometimes(this isn't common though). I just hate her so much for what she did. Like, HOW could she do that to him???? How can I process these emotions?
I've always had a strong reaction to cheating in a relationship. It's a hard thing for me to handle even when it's in a movie or something. I feel like the feeling is even stronger now because of the fact that I care so much about him and I don't even want to think about him hurting. I don't even know how to bring this up with him even though I know I probably should. It just feels like it's too late to say anything about this. He told me about her over a year ago and I feel awkward bringing it up now.
Thank you for reading... Any help/support/anything is welcome. I just felt like I wanted to get this out and not hold it inside me anymore.

When I was in highschool, I made a baby blanket. I had a sheet with a design on it andpolyester batting. I laid them together and hand sewed outlines using embroidery thread around all the characters and shapes on the blanket..I then added another piece and sewed them all together. I would love to do another project like this for my friend who is having a baby BUT I do not know what kind of blanket this was and when I look up hand embroidery or hand sewn baby blankets only the quilted square type come up. I would love to buy all the fabric but I cant find anything anywhere.
Does anyone know what I can search or where I could buy the design printed front piece of fabric or some kind of kit?
Thank you!!

Venue: Bon Secours Wellness Arena (Greenville, SC)
Attendance: ~8,400

Winner	Loser	Match Finish	Stipulation
Iyo Sky	Shayna Bazler	Over the Moonsault	Queen of the Ring Quarterfinal
GUNTHER	Kofi Kingston	Boston Crab	King of the Ring Quarterfinal
Bronson Reed	Akira Tozawa w/ Chad Gable	Tsunami
Lyra Valkyria	Zoey Stark	Nightwing	Queen of the Ring Quarterfinal
Sami Zayn	Otis w/ Chad Gable	Helluva Kick
Becky Lynch	Dakota Kai w/ Damage CTRL	DQ when Iyo and Kairi attack Becky
The Judgement Day w/ Carlito	The Creed Brothers, AOP, and New Catch Republic	Coup de Grace	#1 Contender for the World Tag Team Championships
Jey Uso	Ilja Dragunov	Uso Splash	King of the Ring Quarterfinal

IMPORTANT NOTES

• Kickoff with Drew McIntyre storming backstage and making his way out to the ring where the crowd instantly starts chanting for CM Punk. Drew says Punk only makes the big towns and he won't be showing up in Greenville brothers. Drew says the greatest trick Punk ever pulled was looking like a drug addict despite never taking any, and his other greatest trick was him convincing people to keep taking him back after he keeps breaking their hearts and yet they still buy all the crap he spews out and calls CM Punk fans stupid. Drew says last week Punk only called him a coward after he knew that he left, yet when he was on the stage Punk stayed up in a skybox. Drew says he won't keep wasting his time on someone who won't be cleared for 20 years, and speaking of things that'll never happen Jey Uso lost another title match and now he took his spot in the King of the Ring tournament. Drew calls Damian Priest a paper champion which causes the World Heavyweight Champion to make his way to the ring. Priest tells Drew he's got some serious issues and tells Drew maybe he should do something different tonight and say what he wants to say to someone's face. Drew says he'd love to but Punk keeps running away from him, but since Priest is here he'll say something positive and says that Damian put all the work in and made it here, but he isn't World Champion material. Drew says it is a case of the title making the man and right now that title is in its infancy and it needs someone like him to elevate it, not someone who cashed in on him. Damian says Drew knows what came with this life but Drew says he's a BS champion, but Priest says he's still a champion. Priest tells Drew to find a mirror and blame that asshole for all his faults. He wanted to cash in on Seth Rollins but Drew stopped that from happening multiple times and that's on him, at Wrestlemania all he had to do was leave with his wife, but instead he saw Punk and made him more important than himself, the title, and his wife, all after he got his ass kicked by a one armed man. Priest says once Drew is cleared he'll get a shot at the World Title, but warns Drew after he beats him he'll be eating his words and everyone can rise to that.
  
• Iyo Sky is interviewed after her victory, she rips the mic away and speaks in Japanese and motions to herself being crowned Queen of the Ring.
  
• Priest walks into the Judgement Day locker room and Dom tells him that despite their history Priest should work together with Carlito. Carlito says they all agree Rey is a selfish bastard and they could all benefit from this relationship. Priest says if the boys want to work with him it's on them, but he doesn't want him around. Carlito get he doesn't trust him, but even the most stubborn minds could be changed.
  
• Chad Gable is talking to the Alpha Academy, he tells Maxxine she blew her opportunity at Queen of the Ring and embarrassed the Academy. He tells Otis and Tozawa that he has jobs for them, Otis is going to soften up Sami Zayn and tells him to not do any funny business, he needs serious Otis and tells Tozawa not to blow his opportunity against Bronson Reed. Gable and the rest walk off as Maxxine stays behind, Ivy asks Max why she didn't tell her about the Queen of the Ring opportunity and says they could have trained together. Maxxine explains that Gable doesn't want her training outside of the Academy when Gable storms back in and tells Max to stop standing around and get to training. He tells Ivy she has potential and she shouldn't be wasting it on Taylor "Not so" Swift over here.
  
• Kofi Kingston is interviewed before his match with GUNTHER. Kofi says he's familiar with doing the unthinkable but tonight is about payback for what GUNTHER did to his boy Xavier Woods. Kofi says last night he went toe to toe with the greatest luchador of all time and he's not just winning this tournament for himself, he's doing this for Woods. Woods says because of GUNTHER he can't defend his crown, but he can think of no one better than Kofi to become king.
  
• Lillian Garcia returns to do the ring announcements for Kofi vs GUNTHER! She tells Samantha Irvin that she's doing an incredible job and she is making them all proud.
  
• R-Truth is talking to Adam Pearce and says he thinks he has a great idea for their tag titles. Miz walks in and says Truth better not putting their titles on the line again when Pearce explains that he is giving the Raw tag division and opportunity to become number one contenders tonight. Kiana James enters the office and tells Pearce she was thankful for their meeting over the phone last week but is looking forward to showing him why she is the top 1% and show off how well she can adjudicate. Truth questions if you should really do that at the workplace and asks if that's PG.
  
• Lyra Valkyria is interviewed, she says Damage CTRL better get used to seeing her and says she'll always have Becky's back. Becky comes by and thanks Lyra for the help last week and says they gotta stick together before walking off. Liv Morgan comes up and welcomes Lyra to Raw, but asks her if Becky has always been such a bitch but Lyra tells her to asks her herself and Liv turns to find Becky standing behind her. Becky punches Liv and tells her she isn't the one afraid of a face to face fight, bitch.
  
• Backstage Karrion Kross tells Kofi it was a tough loss, but there is always time to turn things around and walks off. Woods gives Kofi some ice and asks what he wanted but Kofi says he doesn't know.
  
• Ludwig Kaiser chastises an interviewer for trying to interview GUNTHER after his match. She says that she wanted to ask about GUNTHER's history with the other competitors in this tournament since Ilja beat him the last time they faced off, and the last time he faced Jey Uso he won due to Imperium, the same way he beat Sheamus last week. Ludwig says that Sheamus has done a lot in his career and Sheamus should be thanking him for what he did last week and should be standing beside him but instead it is up to him to embarrass Sheamus now.
  
• Adam Pearce is interviewed but before he can make his announcement about the World Tag Team Championships, the New Catch Republic walk in and Tyler Bate thanks Adam for the opportunity and Pearce says he is sanctioning a fatal four way to determine the number 1 contenders for the World Tag Team Championships. Adam is asked why he didn't allow Bron Breakker into the King of the Ring tournament and he explains he didn't want to throw Bron into the deep end but Bron walks in and say anyone he faced in that tournament would be in the deep end with him and he'd drown them all.
  
• Lyra Valkyria is interviewed after her victory, she says she's a former NXT Women's Champion and she travels as the crow flies, straight to the top and speaks something in Irish.
  
• Backstage Jey Uso says Drew McIntyre couldn't cut it so they threw your boy into the King of the Ring and promises to give a yeet down to both Ilja and GUNTHER on his path to becoming King.
  
• Chad Gable berates Otis in the ring following his loss and shoves him which casues Sami to rush back into the ring and attacks Chad and sets up for the Helluva Kick but Gable ducks out of the ring. Otis picks him up and apologizes but Chad slaps him and walks to the back.
  
• Backstage JD McDonough warns Braun Strowman to keep out of Judgement Day business, Braun laughs him off to the Creed Brothers and wishes them luck tonight.
  
• Following Becky's match, Lyra Valkyria runs in to make the save, throwing out Dakota and Kairi before squaring off with Iyo as Becky takes her out. Lyra and Becky stand tall until Liv ambushes Becky from behind.
  
• Ilja Dragunov is interviewed backstage, he says that some people think it is their dream or destiny to be here, but for him it is not enough to just be here and it all starts with him being the Czar of the Ring. He says he'll bring the same kind of fight to Jey Uso tonight, he knows Jey is ready for battle but he is standing across the ring from a different kind of animal, he is a mad dragon and he has beaten GUNTHER! GUNTHER appears behind Ilja and stares him down as Ilja breathes heavily.
  
• Ilja is preparing for his match when a suit-clad Ricochet enters and tells him he earned his respect last week but next time the result won't be the same before wishing him luck in getting the crown.
  
• Backstage Damian asks Dom if he's good with Rhea when Finn, JD, and Carlito storm in celebrating their victory. Priest tells Carlito what happened out there was cool but asks Carlito if he's going to handle his business with Rey because the crew doesn't roll with cowards.
  

SHAMELESS PLUGS

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Hey, this might be a wild place to ask this but I’m not really sure where else would be better honestly.
I’ve been looking into grants and such for top surgery, and I was just wondering if anyone has had any experience with them or anything similar and has advice for how I should go about it/the best ones to apply for?
My dad quite suddenly dropped me from his health insurance so I’m hoping I can find something that can offer at least a bit of help, since health insurance in my state is around $400+/month if it isn’t through work (my job sucks because I’m 18).
I’ve also seen payment plans where it’s kind of a loan but before the surgery? Where you pay the full cost over the course of like 6 months and then once you reach the full price they actually schedule the procedure, has anyone experienced that? I believe said surgeon was located in Michigan.
I’m in Indiana currently, right by the border to Michigan however (it’s only about a 45min-hour drive), if that matters.
Any advice or words of experience are appreciated!! Thanks in advance y’all 🙏

When I was in highschool, I made a baby blanket. I had a sheet with a design on it andpolyester batting. I laid them together and hand sewed outlines using embroidery thread around all the characters and shapes on the blanket..I then added another piece and sewed them all together. I would love to do another project like this for my friend who is having a baby BUT I do not know what kind of blanket this was and when I look up hand embroidery or hand sewn baby blankets only the quilted square type come up. I would love to buy all the fabric but I cant find anything anywhere. Does anyone know what I can search or where I could buy the design printed front piece of fabric or some kind of kit? Thank you!!