By now everyone should have heard about Stony Brook University Housing and its alabandical, pouty capilotades. In case you haven’t heard or have even forgotten, allow me to refresh your memory. What I want to bring out in the text that follows are two core ideas: (1) that Stony Brook University Housing’s moralistic magic-bullet explanations will earn it a prominent spot in the pantheon of fainéantism and (2) that its hysteria-producing obiter dicta are sufficient to give pause to the less thoughtful among us. Uh-oh, such people think. We’d better help Stony Brook University Housing create a mass psychology of fear about an imminent terrorist threat—just in case. On that note, let me say that Stony Brook University Housing’s baleful paroxysms are based on a crude, reductionist understanding of commercialism that encourages rash grobians to enlighten anyone who doesn’t believe that Stony Brook University Housing would sooner give up money, fame, power, and happiness than perform an insufferable act. I put that observation into this letter just to let you see that you don’t need to be a rocket scientist to detect the subtext of this letter. But just in case it’s too subliminal for some, let me thrust it into your face right here: The picture I am presenting need not be confined to Stony Brook University Housing’s ideals. It applies to everything it says and does.
Stony Brook University Housing’s cult followers are the biggest rapacious, teterrimous loblollies who have ever dirtied the face of the earth. People have commented that there may be a gap in my logic there. I don’t think there is, and I’ve gone to great pains to explain why. I recently heard some encouraging news. It appears that Stony Brook University Housing’s ongoing campaign to make my blood curdle has been meeting some opposition. Apparently, not everyone wants Stony Brook University Housing to cheat on taxes. Rather, an increasing number of people have come to realize that I want to thank Stony Brook University Housing for its half-measures. They give me an excellent opportunity to illustrate just how choleric Stony Brook University Housing can be.
While some of Stony Brook University Housing’s scare tactics are very attractive on the surface and are undoubtedly entertaining, they ultimately serve to portray duplicitous, rageful wiseacres as rovers. Stony Brook University Housing’s patter is smooth and quite practiced. It can fast-talk you into believing you’d be better off if you participated in its effort to maintain social control by eliminating rights and freedoms. However, its calumnies fall apart upon reflection. Feebleminded, dishonest skinheads may endanger our property or our security or our economic well-being, but Stony Brook University Housing endangers our souls. Now, I’m no fan of Stony Brook University Housing’s, but still, Stony Brook University Housing’s arguments would be a lot more effective if they were at least accurate or intelligent, not just a load of bull for the sake of being controversial. That’s all for this letter. For those that don’t like my views, get over it. I think that I have as much a right to my views, and to express them, as anyone else. So when I say that Stony Brook University Housing would have us lose our soul as a nation, you can agree with me or not. That’s all there is to it.

I just want to say welcome to the game and please, don't read all the negative comments that people make and think the game is not fun or worthwhile. Yes, the StarPath events like the one that just ended can be a real grind and a pain to complete, but people are always posting ways to make them easier to complete. If you have questions or need help, don't be afraid to come here and ask. Most of us are always willing to help new players who are struggling with items needed to finish quests that require large amounts of resources. Don't get discouraged by what you read, everyone gets frustrated and vents. You get out of the game what you put in. If you are expecting perfection, and paths to always line up the way you want...well, that isn't going to always happen, but there is so much versatility to the game. I am always amazed at all the different decorating ideas other players share, and I am truly envious of just about all of the Touch of Magic designs I see people post. Just relax, play your game and have fun. If you need to quit for a while then, please, quit. I get frustrated when I read some of the Rants people post here about how long they have played and they are going to quit, etc. I am not a PVP type of player, and don't really like the Turn Based games much either. For me, I can play as much or little as I want. If you miss something in one Star Path or in the Premium Shop, you can bet it will show up again at some point. Just play your game at your pace and enjoy.

So, me (30M) and my gf (33F) had a very rough start of our 1y2m relationship. And things got out of hand again past weekend... So I think I should start from the start, my gf and I got together while I was with my ex. I had an open relationship of 5 years with my ex-gf/fiancee (25F), and "knew" my current gf from the gym. We hadn't talked before. We started talking through IG and one thing led to another and thus here we are.
However, the relationship started very difficult since I left my ex-gf for her, which made my ex say all kind of nasty, incorrect stuff about me.
After getting through that, rather quickly, I was so excited and eager to start my life with her. However, another obstacle occured as someone send a picture of us together to her ex. As we were not yet officially a thing on socials yet to avoid extra drama. But apparently the weekend before we started chatting, she went on a small city trip together her now ex bf (41M). She said it was a few months ago since they broke up. I knew the guy, not as friend but as acquittance. So, obviously he was mad too and started to try and win her back, lie about me, etc. They were in a relationship for 3 years but on/off (due to her trust issues, which happened due to cheating with her previous ex) with her having an occasional mishap during the off periods. But they would always get back together. So in the first months she wasn't sure of me either. Which weighed heavy on me as I was sure of my decision and did not realize what I was missing in my life until I met her. Thus I did not give up and continued to pursue her as she was doubting. She did not have physical contact with the ex in said months (she says), but called and chatted a lot with him. Obviously hurting my feelings but I was sure it would be worth it.
During these months, many other things happened. I taught I could get through it all because my love was so intense for her. I forgave it all. Chatting with many guys, sending pics, talking about our troubles/struggles, talking with ex'es, on top of that she works with someone she cheated with on the father of youngest child which causes me enormous trust issues as she has already lied multiple times when seeing him outside of work, but nothing happened, I believe her, but still... you get the picture... However she is so jealous that I removed every girl from IG she asked, don't talk to any female other than family and am afraid to do so. Fine, I don't mind not having contact with other women if I have her.
One time, in these months, things got out of hand. A girl said hello from a distance in the gym. My gf ran from the gym. I got her with my car and got her to get in so I could bring her home as I did not want to leave on these terms. We drove home as she sat on the rear seats. Things got really heated for the first time and suddenly she hits me from the back when driving right on my glasses. This was the first time in my life I was physically touched in a negative way ever. I tried to keep her at bay. I do not remember the exact sequence but at a given moment when we were driving about 70kmh she opened the rear door and had the intention of jumping out. Hanging with more than half her body at the door handle with her head out. I was shocked and did not know what was happening. So obviously I stopped as soon as I could as I do not want that to happen to her.When we got home, I tried to leave and get my stuff, as we were spending a few days together. While grabbing my stuff I dropped something from the fridge from all the nerves and adrenaline I had, and she kicked me when I was grabbing and cleaning it from the floor. I do not remember exactly what happened after but quite possibly I hit her back (or not, I really don't remember this time). Her kicks or hits do not really hurt physically as she is a skinny girl and I am pretty big compared to her (think: literal double weight muscle 65kg compared to 120kg, to give a perspective). I am aware with our physical sizes this does not fare well if I reciprocate...
In coming months (all during period 4/5 to 7/8 months). Stuff like this occured occasionally (5/6? times). Due to escalations and me trying to leave before things got out of hand. From the second time onward I hit back as the second time she almost (small cut) cut me in the neck with a knife, unintentionally she said but I remember being really really scared that time as I have no real experience with defending myself. Of course, when I reciprocated the fights immediately "cooled down", because I then physically hurt her. Which I all regret to the deepest of my soul. However, I do not know how I can make things up or seek forgiveness from her or myself. As she does not acknowledge her own parts it is really difficult for me to take all the blame to make amends.
Every occurance is way more detailed, but all I remember is my part. Every single time when things got heated I tried to leave but she either gets extremely mad/aggressive or tries to make me feel extremely guilty for abandoning her. Thus I stay. With the violence as consequence. Frequently starting because I try to leave. Sometimes with the kids in their rooms. I remember asking her eldest to call the cops as she got aggressive, obviously that did not happen but all I wanted that moment was to de-escalate the situation as she was throwing with stuff.
All but 2 was "started" because of me. One due to her telling me she will cheat right in front of her kid while she was driving. I do not remember how we even started that fight. It's unforgiveable I hit her once, said to pull over so I could get out and called for mental help as she really knows how to trigger me. But that is no excuse. Another one because she was chatting with a guy and obviously hiding some stuff and I wanted to see her phone. Deleted messages up to one point. Indicating something that could really be interpreted as them doing something together. Once I read those texts, my anger stopped and I just bursted out crying and tried to leave. The moment I try to leave she stops me and started crying and begging to stay and saying nothing happened and they didn't even meet. I was so hurt I could not and did not want to be with her. However, seeing her crying once and literally asking me to stay instead of getting aggressive because I was leaving, I caved and wanted to be with her.
During these months, we tried living together twice. Twice she send me away in the middle of the night due to her being annoyed with me/kids. Following months we went scouting for a place to rent as I wasn't comfortable living at her place any more as I feel like she sees me as a guest and not a partner at that time. Again due to arguments and circumstances, we did not "find" anything and did not continue this idea.
Time went on, "small" issues occured. Some of these: a lot of gaslighting, trust issues (this also from me), verbal aggression/humiliation, blocking me on socials, false accusations, jokes about exes when we see them from a far, guilt tripping, very egocentric, talking a LOT LOT to the dad of their daughter, etc. If I had to explain everything in detail, the text would be 100x longer.
Life was relatively good compared to the start. Due to reasons above, I avoided trying to live together again. At a certain point she started talking more about wanting to live together. Of course I understand as life can't keep standing still. We went watching for houses and head over heals in a "high" and good period of love I agreed upon buying a house of which I would place the down payment and related costs, we found one and got it. As weeks passed, small arguments/fights (non-physical) once again took place. Like a solid pattern repeating itself about weekly to bi-weekly. Making her and myself doubt about the choice we made but is very hard to get out of unless losing the down payment. I already put my place up for sale to pay for this thus for me, there is no way back and I do not want to stay in my old place. But none of us can afford the house alone.
2 weeks ago, I started my first counselling with a psychologist to work on my trust issues, my guilt feelings, and everything related to this relationship as I really want to make it work.
Last weekend. After my shift from work. We met up to eat something nice, watch a movie. But logging in to a streaming app, she saw my ex still had an account (she does not use it). But as stubborn as I am, I said I would only delete it once she leaves her ex's streaming acc. For some reason I said it's not a big deal and she is on my music streaming service as well (apparently she already left it but I didn't know at the time). Thus, she got mad, got up and wanted to leave. I really did not understand what the big fuss was as I didn't see this as something so bad as many people do it. Sure, I do not mind deleting her, but I want her to do the same then. Out of principle. Is this so wrong? So, I sat in the couch waiting for her to calm down and come back, except she did not. As I was not showing enough concern toward this, she got mad and with the same attitude as when the first fights happened, she got close to me and apparently threw a pillow (for me it felt like she was attacking me). Due to past events, it felt like we were back to square one and something switched in my head. I hit her a couple times and threw her luggage out. I hate and despise the fact that this happened and I did this to her. She is hurt because of me and I wish there was a way to take this back.I do not understand why we are in this spiral of emotions and stay together.
I want to say that I have never laid a hand upon a living being until I was hit a few times too much, I could not handle it and now I feel like I am not myself anymore.
Also, this weekend I noticed she lied to me. The youngest kid told me are you coming to the party at her (kids) father's place, and she said we're just going to say hi at his job for father's day.I immediately knew she was not honest as she (kid) has always straight forward and honest to me.I acted like I didn't care but after working out, I normally drive to work, this time I took a detour to check if she was home.She was not. She was texting slowly compared to normally and I knew it in my gut I was right, so my urge to check was greater than my trust, and correctly so.Sure, she could have gone, but to lie and/or not say anything about it, hurts me, my bond with her and my trust in her. Again.
Despite everything, I love her and her kids a lot. It feels like she is the first person I really love.I do not know what I expect of this and I hate who I became because of everything that happened. I wish I could tell if I am safe with her and that she is safe with me.I am afraid that if she does something stupid, I would too.
tl:dr; A LOT (physical fights, jealousy, lies, etc.) has happened since the start of our relationship and I wish I could start it over with her as I really love her and want to work on it and doing my part

Question to Oksana: Is there a branch with the horned man, the forest man?
Oksana: I will answer this way. A character who has already appeared will turn to face us, take off his mask, and he will turn out to be the favorite. We have more than one such character.
Question to Vlada: Is it possible to hope that there will be more than one intimate scene with Seth?
Vlada replied that she would try not to write inappropriate intimacies, but she could not say anything about the number.
Question to Oksana: Is it possible to worsen relations with the characters?
Oksana replied that it would not be possible to bring the character directly to the villain, but with different characters there are certain points that can be reached (to worsen to just friends or just acquaintances, for example).
Oksana said that not all skills in Vampyrus Novus will be worth 2 mastery skill stats.
Question to Vlad: Is it possible in other circumstances to remove the mask from the Raven at his will?
Vlada: In the future, without the previous choice, you can remove the mask from the Raven.
Oksana tells us: There are several categories of the undead in history: Ghouls like Peter, who live only by thirst for blood. Their eyes glow blue. They cannot become normal vampires. Classic vampires who are intelligent. They are intelligent and their eyes glow green, like Odette's. If there is someone else, we will be able to see them in history.
Vlada said that Anastasia's roulette outfit was illogical to wear outside, because not all the LIs could see it, and the reaction to it, like the reaction to Esmeralda's outfit, will be in the next update. All LIs will have a reaction to Esther‘s new outfit. Vlada also promised that in the novel itself she would inform when to put it on.
Oksana said that work is still underway on the third book, The Seal of Nostradamus. As soon as it goes to print, Oksana will let you know about it!
Question to Oksana: If you run a double branch with Erich and Nicholas, will there be scenes of jealousy?
Oksana: If we talk about such a triangle, THEN of COURSE, how without it. When you enter the second book, you will see how fiery everything will be there.
Question: Do you read the theories of the players? Have they ever hit the spot? How do you feel about it?
Oksana: I try to read theories. It happens that they are not one hundred percent, but they are very close. This is very pleasant, it means that the players have gone through the story more than once or twice and notice the little things that the author has scattered throughout the story.
Vlada agreed and added that recently in her chat they noticed some little thing about the LoW, that the Triumvirate of the Coven symbolized the Triad worshipped by the knowledgeable.
Oksana came up with the initiative to search for items in VN.
Vlada noted Raven has wrinkles on his face. Raven is drawn exactly as it should be. Scars were not planned.
Oksana noted that there is no canon in visual novels and will no longer buy the questions "what is your ideal ending?".
Question for Oksana: Will there be a rapid development of relations with Nicholas?
Oksana: you will immediately feel the tension of an intimate nature between them, but Nicholas became interested in Catalina for completely different reasons, and we will find out about it soon. In general, their branch will be hot.
Vlada noted that as part of LoW, there will be more excerpts from the LIs' faces.
Oksana once again notes that Caleb and Irving have completely different types. Oksana is categorically against putting equality between these characters.
Question to Vlada: What color is the magic of Belogor?
Vlada: Belogor's magic is milky white, and it glows.
Oksana: At the moment, it is impossible to pair the LIs with other characters.
Vlada: A happy ending in LoW is possible on any branch. (Addition to this answer. If you are undecided in your branch for a long time, then perhaps you will not have a happy ending, because it is already going to the third book.)
Nika: Pricing for scenes depends on how many chapters were written in the update and how many were allocated in total for the entire update.
Oksana said that she likes the current pace of writing one story more than writing two in parallel.
Vlada noted that she already has references for her third novel. Vlada also wouldn’t like to continue writing two stories at the same time.
A new LI will appear in VN in the next update. Maybe someone else will appear in the second book (but that's not for sure).
Question for Vlada: how do you prescribe the thoughts of an evil Ife?
Vlada: Since there are a lot of thoughts and ideas in the novel, I have to prescribe both options. It's morally uncomfortable for me to write it, and if I were a player, I wouldn't play for it.
Question: Is it possible to hope for a happy ending with Atsu if he remains human?
Vlada: God or man, it does not affect the character of the Atsu. This only affects the receipt of an important artifact, which affects the plot. And whether Atsu remains a god or not may depend on you.
Oksana: The choice of the personality of the main character does not affect the plot.
Question: A good ending with Odion. Is it possible?
Vlada: let's start with the fact that there is a finale with him. There will be no good ending for evil Ife, along the branch with Odion. Well, we have connoisseurs in the fandom.
Vlada: There will be no voiceover of the favorites (regarding individual phrases), because this may affect the representation of the players. Laughter and moaning are possible.
Vlada said that for Dario‘s laughter, a whole casting of men was held in the cathedral. He is voiced by a foreign actor.
Nika, a game designer, works only with Vlada and Oksana. There are three game designers in the League in total.
Oksana likes to read negative endings more, but not where everyone died. (In short, the punishment finale of the CAD)
Oksana loves to prescribe everything equally. She doesn’t like writing endings that are very unpopular.
Vlada likes to write semi-glass more. And to read finals with some victims.
Oksana: Erich is not a particularly friendly person. He is secretive, rather irritable, and vampirism has also aggravated this trait.
Vlada says in the LoW update , several LIs can dress up.
Oksana says there will be a slow burn branch with Erich.
Vlada: The familiar may become visible to everyone, perhaps sooner than you think.
Oksana: Odette and Catalina: there is some obstacle (quite weighty) that can interfere with their friendship.
Vlada: There will be intimate scenes with all the LIs in LoW. The naked sprites of the LIs in LoW have not been drawn yet.
Oksana won't spoiler anything about the Forest Man.

I(27M) have been in relationship with my GF(29F) for 3 years. When we got together, both of us had gotten out of recent relationships that left us messed up. I had gotten out of my first serious relationship and she had gotten out of a long term 2 year relationship after being cheated on twice at 2 different points. I gave her my location and access to everything of mine due to this, we spent the nights on speaker phone while we slept, and we spent all our time together at my apartment. I had to move for my job in the summer, but promised to come back as soon as an opportunity came up in her area. During that time I went to a massage therapist, which I did since high school due to a pinched nerve in my back that would occasionally inflame, I did disclose the previously, but I guess I neglected to mention it to her during our nightly phone call. Come December, I return to see her and topic is brought up and she immediately accuses me of cheating. I admit I had a phase in college that she utilized for the basis of the claim, but I showed her the evidence with all her access she had to my location, and I understand the suspicion, with Deshaun Watson all over the news. I thought I had calmed her down after disproving the allegations and were continuing the relationship as normal. I got a job near her and moved back close to her work. She started to change, I started to find out she was deleting my graduate school friends off my phone or blocking them. Which was a problem since they were important industry contacts. She was also accusing me of cheating any time I left the apartment without her, which was a problem as she refused to move in with me, so every grocery store run turned into a phone call. I got her into therapy after an incident and there was progress for a period of time. There was still accusations though, so I suggested couples counseling. The issue was that she set up the counseling herself and refuse to show up, and the times she did show up, 3/4 counselors stated that she had to start coming, accept my past, or we should break up. I have my reasons for staying with her as she was going through health problems and due to misdiagnoses, she had become extreme antagonist of the medical community, which I happen to work for. Recently, she cut out toxic friends(they were friends since college) that would bad mouth her and our relationship behind her back, which was brought to light by one of my friends on a trip. Basically her ex-friend was complaining that we weren't including her after explicitly stating she wanted to treat her as if she wasn't there for portions of the trip, then talking negatively about her and the relationship to my friend, who defended us and then notified us. She then started to isolate herself as her ability to trust has been destroyed. She has recently started to bring back up how she can't trust my friend because of my past and that they know my ex (it's a close knit industry and honestly the break up was my fault and they're required to work with her). This then devolves into she doesn't trust my decisions and how she needs to be right. I have brought this up again and will be trying to find another couple's counselor and I know she is going to individual therapy already.
How do I get her to understand that she doesn't trust me and I need her to trust me for me to feel comfortable committing to relationship? Should I continue trying, as this will be the third time I've brought it and it seems to occur every 1-3 month?
Part of me wants to set her up with a couple of my female friends with common interest so she can be herself again, I know this will be a bad idea as long as she doesn't trust me.
tl;dr: My girlfriend(29F) still can't trust me(27M) after being cheated on by her ex, and I'm out of ideas for solutions and how to confront her about it because it is affecting her trust with me.
There are some details left out so this can be posted.

I’m 25m and recently my girlfriend of 7 months broke up with me. This isn’t my first long term relationship but it is the first time I’ve been broken up with.
She was my whole world and I truly think she is the whole package. She left me because she needed space and only now typing this out do I understand she was just tired of me. Up until now I figured she just wanted space but still had feelings for me. She said there are no hard feelings but now I see that the connection on her side has all but faded.
Either way it’s still hard knowing that she doesn’t have feelings for me or that she found someone new that can excited her the way I once did. Do I think there is a chance that the changes in her life and the struggles that she has going on are too much to deal with while trying to emotionally/physically involved with someone….
She doesn’t talk with her mom or dad, one of her family members assaulted her and she was evicted from her prior place of residence. She also changed jobs recently and has been questioning if it was the right decision. Putting myself is her shoes, I can’t imagine the tole that puts on someone. I would think that having someone to support you would be good in a time like this. But maybe someone you are romantically involved with is just another things that adds to the stress. Relationships are hard and if you don’t have a solid family life, job, financial stability you might not have the energy for a relationship.
Now if I’m you are reading this you might think I dodged a bullet. I really don’t see it that way and it might be the fact that I have love goggles and can’t see the negatives.
I almost wish she is lying to me. Like she does have someone else, in that case I think I can rest easy knowing that isn’t someone that I would have wanted in my life. Yeah it would still hurt knowing she’s lying but ultimately It would give me some peace of mind.

What if there are things we don't see, because our minds don't want to see them? What if our thoughts themselves are censored by fear and misconception? What if all we see is but a dream we constructed to escape true reality?
Simply put this is the focus of my world. A world of denial trying to escape true chaos in the pursuit of anything to latch on to. We live in the collective dream, a figmental reality that is made to make as much sense as we can make it. But it has it's flaws.
When someone experiences a catalyst event, from the nine nights ritual to some interaction with a daemon from true reality, they leave a tear in the dream. These tears can be used to glimpse anywhere else in the dream that has experienced a tear. This includes places that experienced tears at one point, but only for the moments the tear was open, giving one visions of the past.
While most tears only last a few days, more traumatic experiences can last years, even centuries.
As these wounds in the dream heal, they emit a waxy substance that can be used in magic.
Colors and powers
Blue is flow/halt. You have the ability to change something's movements, making it go faster, farther, or in different directions. As well as negate any some forms of energy acting on it, such as kinetic or gravitational energy. Red is fracture/mend. You have the ability to explode, disintegrate, or collapse an object. As well as fuse two or more objects together. Gold is restructure/restore. You have the ability to change the material composition of an object. As well as restore a magically altered object you it's original state.
Mixing these colors allows new magics to be used. However, mixing these waxes weakens the effects. Mixed magics can not affect the physical world. Instead only affecting the mind.
Orange is identity. You have the ability to change who you appear as or if you appear at all. Purple is thoughts and memories. You have the ability to read minds, communicate telepathically, see using objects as eyes, and see into the memories of people or even objects. Green is focus and perception. You have the ability to change what people are seeing, haze their minds, cause them or yourself to hyperfocus, or completely cut someone off from their senses.
By handling the wax directly, one is able to enter a state where they can use magic. However, as they use this power, they become a sort of candle. A fire ignites above the wax. The fire goes out when the wax is used up, but the user gets hurt by the heat of the melting wax. The amount of wax one carries acts as a time limit for their magic.

It’s so easy to see Rob as the number one villain for all the issues we already know. I’ve been watching this current season and she’s starting to rub me the wrong way with her never seeing the issues she also creates. So of course I went online to find other video or articles to see if I’m just tripping. To save myself some time in writing a super huge long post her are some bullet points from the article.
-Sophie was not honest about Callum, her old flame, from Rob, indicating her dishonesty. -Sophie hid her bisexuality from Rob, hinting at her reluctance to share intimate details. -Sophie and Rob separated due to her revisiting past cheating incidents, raising questions about her motives.
It’s been soooo much more I/we could add to this. It’s also nothing wrong with needing validation in your relationship from your partner. She seems to need a lot more due to her past with her mom and whomever else. She really needs to leave the relationship, deep dive into some serious counseling. She needs to learn to love herself FIRST because she is seeking to be filled up from others because she clearly doesn’t love herself enough. The scene in the lingerie store was a lot and I can’t fault Rob for too much ( unless I missed something).
She seems to play victim really well. This isn’t discrediting that she isn’t but she has a problem when she’s also in the wrong and it’s always on everyone else.
Am I alone with this? I like her a lot but I just want her to seek THERAPY !

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I am at a place where I don't know what to do besides accept he will never want to improve our relationship. I am here to hopefully get thoughts and advice to gauge how bad his behavior is compared to other marriages. I like to think we are mostly a healthy married couple but we have a few major problems that he won't see hurt me. He tells me I just want to fight. I grew up with a histrionic mother and narcissistic father, I do Not want to fight I infact am very willing to work on us with him. I know I am not perfect and ask what I can do to make us stronger. Despite him being a really great father he is not emotionally very supportive of me. When I have had to go to the er he has gotten annoyed with me. I have gone once in 7 yrs to the hospital and it was adrenal fatigue. No one else sees it except me either, our kids are grown and that's when things have worsened when I didn't have the kids around to distract me it's staring me in the face our entire situation. If I would only smile and laugh along and act like nothings wrong everything would be fine. It's when I have an issue his entire demeanor shifts and he will leave or sit and wait for me to quit talking give me a one liner about how I want a fight is all. We don't bicker often at all because I avoid it but it builds up and I have to try talking to him. For example he'll be very nice and happy but anytime I have an idea he discourages it I could say the waters warm and he'd say it was cold. It's an almost 85% negate dispute rate, he will even defend people he doesn't think are nice if I make a comment like, "oh that was rude of them!" he'll actually go so far as to make excuses for them. It's bizarre and gets in the way of feeling connected to him I feel cast aside. I can suggest hey let's start a garden, "how about we don't." So I started my garden alone. I went to him very excited to get certified as a Yoga Teacher and he told me I wasn't flexible enough🫥. I am now a Yoga Teacher. I'm not sure if it's because I have the nerve to do the things he doesn't want me to that bothers him or that I am not acting like a little house mouse wife. I raised our children at home and had to move with him for his work a few times so I had left my career so he could further his in my 20's. Now my children are raised and were very proud of them but I am here wondering what to do with myself. I have no friends I am an introvert and he uses it to his advantage. One other large issue is he makes plans and I am the last to know. He wrote an entire book on his own which is not published yet but I found out when it was finished because he happened to mention it in talking about something else, I was like what? He comes home from work and doesn't really talk beyond how are you, I have always talked and asked questions about his day and thought we were communicating okay but realized he's very vague and is only waiting for me to stop talking. He said once, "youre always talking and talking and talking". I have to ask the magic words to find out information he hides. He started working out and waking up early I found out he was planning to try out for something which I would be fine with and happy for him but why not share it with me. I told him last night he has a wall of contempt he's built between us and he said, you know why." I asked why cause I don't I've been a good wife. He said, "you push your beliefs, fears and things you want to do on everyone around you." Then he admitted he felt he shouldn't have married me. After this much time and raising our children I am lost. I am an average mom/wife I don't have any hardcore beliefs. He is referring to me nagging him to eat better as his cholesterol is high and my fears of getting sick if he doesn't wash his hands after touching money, I have an auto immune disease. I can see how that would be annoying but I am not too bad I'd say average. The thing about pushing stuff I want to do is normal wife stuff in my opinion like we make plans to go out with our kids family's. When I made my garden he felt I was controlling him and making him do it because I needed help with the fence. It's very dramatic I told him he didn't need to help I was fine. I moved to the other bedroom and feel very upset. When we married he'd joke when I'm 40 he was going to trade me in for 2, 20's. I don't think any 20's would waste any time on him. He claimed he was just joking but I feel like he's a stranger, he has not told me so much, I have no idea what his personal life is and here I am heart broken. He also only seems to be cuddly or sweet when he wants to "be close" then he kind of goes back to being distant. He dislikes when I stay at my daughters he gets very lovey dovey and claims to miss me, calls so much it annoys my daughter and acts sad til I run back. Then hes normal again. I read Dr Ramani Durvasula's new book "It's Not You" and it helped alot and it's a sad situation. My adult children think were okay but they have mentioned he doesnt get me much of anything on holidays they noticed that and him always negating me. I can't talk to them about it obviously but theyve been annoyed at him for not getting me a holiday present this past year and the year before. I got him many presents as always which he usually gets annoyed about and returns the things I've gotten him. Is this what happens to most marriages are those best friend team like marriages just on hallmark or very rare? Maybe I am expecting too much hes a very basic man he likes his hobbies, action movies and eating, yes I am calling him basic because he really seems to not be very deep. His emotional iq is probably a 33. Any advice is appreciated I feel like I don't know which way is up or down and hearing people's thoughts would be helpful, unless the comments are disrespectful I'd not waste time on trying to be rude I'm not putting energy into that. Its all jumbled if I don't just write I won't talk about it. Since I have no friends and my introversion makes it nearly impossible I am just clicking post. Thanks for any thoughts you can offer. It's appreciated. Tl;Dr : Husband negates and disputes most of what I say all while acting cheerful, when I ask him to try and be aware of it he claims I am acting "crazy". He also hides his personal life from me I find out after the fact major things he does at work or having to do with his friends. He seems to have no use for me as his social cup is filled and is very blank around me and doesn't seem to respect me at all. His hobbies are his lifes passion definitely not his life with me. I've been a stay at home mother my children are grown and now I am lost feeling. I had left my career in my 20s for him and now am a yoga teacher but he has little respect for me. For example he doesnt introduce me to co workers in public and does not make me aware of work bbqs and such to go with him. Looking for advice and thoughts, thank you.

I'm going to try really hard to keep this concise. There's a lot of info and I tend to ramble.
My mother is a Cuban immigrant. My father is a rock'n'roller and has always been in a band of some sort. They also smoked pot through my entire existence. I grew up with a love of music and an incredible work ethic that would elevate me quickly through my career. But I also grew up with physical, emotional, and verbal abuse from my mother and a father who was too afraid of her to step in and stop it or help us and parents who were never consistent in their responses. I have an older brother who experienced all of the same, but doesn't talk about it and *seems* to not phase him the way it does me.
I told my partner even before we got pregnant that if my parents watch our children, as the children get older and are able to dissent and have their own opinions, we'd need to keep an eye on how my parents are treating them. I've always maintained that my mom is great with babies, and terrible with children. So when I had my son seven years ago, they were our primary caregivers while we worked full time. It was my responsibility to pick him up after work from their house. After a while of this arrangement, I started indulging in a large glass of wine because I had to wait until rush hour died off before I could get on the road (stuck in traffic with a screaming baby is not fun). It felt out of necessity due to the constant judgment, critiques, and questioning that my mother would do to me about anything I mentioned- work, the baby, my partner, anything. It came to the point that my partner and I switched "shifts" and I started dropping my son off in the morning so that I would stop this behavior (which was also dangerous for everyone involved) and not give my mother the opportunity to critique because I had to turn around and leave for work right away. It's worth noting that I've been sober for two years (an intiative neither of my parents supported- "you just need to control yourself more, you don't have a problem").
My son grew older and has a close relationship with my parents and my brother. But my mom couldn't stop telling me he was too skinny, telling me she's concerned about him getting colds, telling me we're doing too much with him and need to slow down (referring to going to playgrounds...), and doing what I told her NOT to do with him. She wouldn't stop spoon-feeding him at three years old, and we had to have a blow out about it for her to listen to me after nicely asking her to stop and explaining why a billion times.
December of 2023 she was over for a little pizza party with us and my in-laws. My (now six year old) son took his shirt off and started dancing to some music (lol) and my mom exclaimed about "how skinny" he is because "you can see his ribcage". Which you can see most people's ribcages when their arms are in the air and they've taken a deep breath in... She turned to my mother-in-law (MIL) and said they needed to fatten him up. My MIL is a NICU nurse and her and her son (my husband) were both very skinny growing up. She confirmed for my mom that "no, we don't, he's a perfect weight for his height". I have also confirmed this for my mother countless times and ask about his weight at every pediatrician appointment. Because he's in the 99th percentile for height, he's just lanky. Medical professionals assure us it is fine and normal. THEN she turned to my son and told him to his face "You are too skinny and you need to eat more." Thankfully I wasn't there to hear it or it would've been a scene, but I was told about it after the fact. After confronting her she confirmed she did say that and she wouldn't take it back. I lost my shit about how disrespectful and untrusting it is of your own daughter to do something like that and she FINALLY realized the severity of it.
But at that point it was the last straw for me. I told my mother that if we were going to continue to have a relationship, that we needed to go to therapy. And that I thought it would be beneficial for ALL OF US to go (meaning my immediate, childhood family) but really I was mostly concerned with her and my relationship. After a few months of hoping it would blow over and it didn't, she finally made the appointment.
We did family therapy (with the whole family) for a few weeks. It was exhausting and eye-opening. It was primarily focused on my parents' marriage and the issues my family was having at home (my mother, father, and adult brother who still lives with them all coexisting in the house). So very little to do with me. Which was the whole reason we were supposed to be there.
Ultimately we discovered how insane my mother's anxiety is, she screamed at the therapist twice, kept validating her abuse, and couldn't list off more than two things she loved about me before getting to a critique. They also started going to marriage counseling at the suggestion of our family therapist, and things there started to get really bad. It became clear that a lot of my mom's anxiety around us came from her dissatisfaction with her marriage and feeling like she always had to be the disciplinarian. The family therapist watched me pop a pill as my mom laid in to me in one of our sessions about how unclean my house is and it's why my son (who is in public school) gets so many colds. After that, the therapist did some serious consideration and decided to pause our family therapy, citing that my mom wasn't ready and needs to do a lot of work on her own with her personal therapist, and I wasn't ready because every time I'm in there it's like I'm reliving it all. I agree with her wholeheartedly. I want to say here that our therapist was INCREDIBLY validating for me, and really drove home for me that this was NOT a me problem (which my parents had always led me to believe).
But now I don't know where to go from here. My therapist told me to stop reaching out- that I've been trying to fix the relationship my whole life (which isn't my responsibility), and they know now what the problem is so they need to try to fix it this time. Also both my individual and family therapist said going to their house is a non-starter and any time we spend together in the next few months needs to be in a public place with a structured activity to reduce the possibility of it being a negative experience. That was four weeks ago. We've seen each other once since then and my mom only texts to tell me about family-related things "so and so broke their ankle, it's your grandma's birthday, yada yada" and my dad doesn't text.
I worked through all the terrible feelings of being responsible for breaking up my parents' marriage and making things more difficult for him and my brother living in that house by forcing this. I know that isn't my fault. But I can't stop thinking about my parents, specifically my mom. It's clear my mother has her own abusive past that she's never processed, and it was the only parenting method she knew. And I'm sympathetic to that and have given her grace for the last few decades because of that. But it can't be this way for my whole life. I can't live my whole life feeling like my worth is based on how much I get done, how materially successful I am, stuffing my emotions down so I'm not "so dramatic" and feeling unlovable. As an adult I felt like my life was supposed to be a gift to them for raising me... like if it wasn't exactly what they wanted for me, then it was wrong. Since having my own child I've seriously reflected on all of that, and I don't want to raise my son the way I was raised and I don't think of him as "mine" as much as his own person with his own world and life. I don't see him as a reflection of me and my parenting- it isn't personal when he gets into trouble or says something mean like it was for my mom when I was a kid.
My brain just won't stop thinking of ways to make things "better". I keep trying to come up with an activity to do in a public place so they can see their grandkid but that's the thing- that's the only reason. I don't want to see them. I don't think my son really even wants to see them (he wants to see my brother- his Tio- because they're besties but not necessarily my parents who do very little with him- they just "want him around".) But then I realize that if I don't want to, then maybe I shouldn't. And then I think about how depressed my parents are sitting at home and I feel awful. They don't have friends or much of a life (besides dad's band), and were both depressed before this even started. I can't stop thinking about why she couldn't love me. How she told me she was the only one who would told me the truth, and then told me how horrible I am. And I still believe those things despite having all the evidence that they aren't true.
Ugh anyway I know I have a lot more to do to get through this. But has anyone else experienced this kinda constant distraction of thinking through it all but not really getting much of anywhere? Idk if it's emotional flashbacks that I'm feeling or what. I just don't really know where to go from here, so any advice is appreciated.
Also omg this wasn't concise at all I'm sorry <3

Has anybody have a positive (or negative) experience you would be willing to share? I am -almost- at the end of my losing journey (have another 20 pounds to lose) after taking sema for 6 months and then switching to tirze once I was on the max dose for sema and not losing.
I would like to switch back to sema for financial reasons once I lose the weight, and stay on maintenance dose (whatever that is for me) for the near future; maybe forever!
I am assuming that this is doable, and that going back to sema would not trigger ravenous hunger and food noise as long as I find my magic number, right?
Would love your feedback!

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Exploring the deep-seated fears that reside within us and how they manifest as what we traditionally call the "seven deadly sins." These ancient concepts, often cloaked in religious and moralistic language, serve as mirrors reflecting our innermost insecurities and self-imposed limitations. By understanding these fears and recognizing the acronym S.I.N. as Self-Inflicted Negatives, we can transcend these barriers and step into the fullness of our potential.

1. Pride (Hubris):
   
   • Fear: The fear of inadequacy and not being enough.
   • Manifestation: When we feel deeply insecure about our worth, we may inflate our ego to mask these feelings. Pride becomes a shield, protecting us from the vulnerability of admitting our perceived shortcomings.
   • Transformation: Embrace humility and self-acceptance. Recognize that true strength comes from acknowledging our imperfections and growing from them.
2. Envy:
   
   • Fear: The fear of lack and not having enough.
   • Manifestation: Envy arises from a scarcity mindset, where we believe that others' success diminishes our own potential. It is the fear that we are not capable of achieving our desires.
   • Transformation: Cultivate gratitude and abundance. Understand that the universe is infinite, and there is more than enough for everyone. Celebrate others' successes as a reflection of what is possible for you.
3. Wrath (Anger):
   
   • Fear: The fear of powerlessness and being out of control.
   • Manifestation: Anger often stems from a perceived threat to our sense of control or autonomy. It is a reaction to the fear that we are helpless in changing our circumstances.
   • Transformation: Practice patience and understanding. Recognize that anger is a signal pointing to deeper issues that need healing. Embrace compassion, both for yourself and others.
4. Sloth (Laziness):
   
   • Fear: The fear of failure and not measuring up.
   • Manifestation: Sloth can be a defense mechanism against the fear of trying and failing. It is easier to not try at all than to risk not succeeding.
   • Transformation: Ignite your passion and purpose. Understand that every step, no matter how small, is progress. Embrace the journey and learn from every experience.
5. Greed (Avarice):
   
   • Fear: The fear of loss and not having enough security.
   • Manifestation: Greed is driven by an insatiable desire for more, stemming from a deep-seated fear of scarcity and insecurity.
   • Transformation: Foster generosity and trust. Realize that true security comes from within and that sharing your abundance enriches both your life and the lives of others.
6. Gluttony:
   
   • Fear: The fear of emptiness and not being fulfilled.
   • Manifestation: Gluttony is an attempt to fill an emotional void with physical or material excess. It is the fear that we are not whole or complete.
   • Transformation: Seek inner fulfillment and balance. Discover what truly nourishes your soul and focus on holistic well-being.
7. Lust:
   
   • Fear: The fear of intimacy and not being loved.
   • Manifestation: Lust can be an escape from the vulnerability of genuine connection. It is driven by a fear that we are unlovable or unworthy of deep, authentic relationships.
   • Transformation: Embrace genuine connection and self-love. Understand that true intimacy begins with self-acceptance and extends to forming meaningful bonds with others.
   S.I.N. - Self-Inflicted Negatives
   

The term "sin" has long been associated with moral failings and spiritual transgressions. However, when we view sin through the lens of Self-Inflicted Negatives, we shift our perspective from judgment to understanding. These "sins" are not punishments or inherent flaws but rather reflections of our inner fears and limiting beliefs.
By recognizing and addressing these fears, we can transform our lives. The path to enlightenment and personal growth involves facing these inner demons, understanding their origins, and consciously choosing to transcend them. This process requires self-awareness, compassion, and a commitment to continuous growth.
Transcending Self-Inflicted Negatives

1. Awareness: Begin by acknowledging the fears that underlie your actions and reactions. This requires honest self-reflection and a willingness to confront uncomfortable truths.
   
2. Acceptance: Accept that these fears are a part of your human experience. They do not define you, but they do offer valuable lessons for your spiritual journey.
   
3. Action: Take proactive steps to address and transform these fears. This might involve seeking support, such as therapy or spiritual counseling, as well as engaging in practices that promote self-growth, such as meditation, journaling, or mindfulness.
   
4. Affirmation: Regularly affirm your worth and potential. Replace negative self-talk with positive affirmations that reinforce your inherent value and capabilities. Remember, you are a divine being having a human experience, and you possess the power to transcend any limitation.
   
5. Connection: Foster deeper connections with others and the universe. Engage in practices that enhance your sense of interconnectedness, such as community service, group meditations, or simply spending time in nature. Recognize that you are part of a vast, supportive network of beings.
   
6. Gratitude: Cultivate a mindset of gratitude. Focus on the abundance already present in your life and express thanks for it. Gratitude shifts your perspective from lack to abundance and opens the door to receiving more blessings.
   
7. Forgiveness: Practice forgiveness, both for yourself and others. Holding onto guilt or resentment only perpetuates the cycle of negativity. Release these burdens and allow yourself to heal.
   

The Path Forward
As we navigate the complexities of our human existence, it is essential to remember that our journey is one of continuous evolution. The seven deadly sins, or Self-Inflicted Negatives, are not obstacles meant to hinder us but opportunities designed to teach us invaluable lessons about ourselves.
By embracing these lessons with an open heart and a willing spirit, we can transcend our fears and limitations. This transformation is not about achieving perfection but about embracing our authentic selves, flaws and all, and realizing that we are inherently worthy and capable of greatness.
In conclusion, the seven deadly sins are not merely moral failings but reflections of deeper fears that we hold within ourselves. By recognizing and addressing these fears, we can transform our lives and transcend the limitations that hold us back. Remember, S.I.N. – Self-Inflicted Negatives – can be healed through awareness, acceptance, action, affirmation, connection, gratitude, and forgiveness. As you continue on your spiritual journey, may you find peace, wisdom, and the courage to embrace your true potential.
With infinite love and light,
Your fellow traveler on the path of spiritual awakening

What if there are things we don't see, because our minds don't want to see them? What if our thoughts themselves are censored by fear and misconception? What if all we see is but a dream we constructed to escape true reality?
Simply put this is the focus of my world. A world of denial trying to escape true chaos in the pursuit of anything to latch on to. We live in the collective dream, a figmental reality that is made to make as much sense as we can make it. But it has it's flaws.
When someone experiences a catalyst event, from the nine nights ritual to some interaction with a daemon from true reality, they leave a tear in the dream. These tears can be used to glimpse anywhere else in the dream that has experienced a tear. This includes places that experienced tears at one point, but only for the moments the tear was open, giving one visions of the past.
While most tears only last a few days, more traumatic experiences can last years, even centuries.
As these wounds in the dream heal, they emit a waxy substance that can be used in magic.
Colors and powers
Blue is flow/halt. You have the ability to change something's movements, making it go faster, farther, or in different directions. As well as negate any some forms of energy acting on it, such as kinetic or gravitational energy. Red is fracture/mend. You have the ability to explode, disintegrate, or collapse an object. As well as fuse two or more objects together. Gold is restructure/restore. You have the ability to change the material composition of an object. As well as restore a magically altered object you it's original state.
Mixing these colors allows new magics to be used. However, mixing these waxes weakens the effects. Mixed magics can not affect the physical world. Instead only affecting the mind.
Orange is identity. You have the ability to change who you appear as or if you appear at all. Purple is thoughts and memories. You have the ability to read minds, communicate telepathically, see using objects as eyes, and see into the memories of people or even objects. Green is focus and perception. You have the ability to change what people are seeing, haze their minds, cause them or yourself to hyperfocus, or completely cut someone off from their senses.
By handling the wax directly, one is able to enter a state where they can use magic. However, as they use this power, they become a sort of candle. A fire ignites above the wax. The fire goes out when the wax is used up, but the user gets hurt by the heat of the melting wax. The amount of wax one carries acts as a time limit for their magic.

Hi everyone, I'm looking for thoughts from those in good/successful marriages in this thread. Please, no trashing of spouses or wild accusations. Just help me put my experience in perspective vs. yours. Thank you in advance for reading this long post.
I and my husband (34M, 38M) have been married for 3 years and together for 7. We've had a lot of love for each other and our relationship has been such a surprise and gift for both of us - we both have expressed our deep gratitude for each other in the past, since we both had given up on the possibility of a happy marriage when we came out (before gay marriage was an option in the US). We used to have lots of fun, and still do sometimes, we often do acts of service both small and large for each other. We are both very responsible and have similar values - sometimes it's almost literally a race to do more chores before the other gets to them (thanks, Catholic school + oldest brother syndrome!). And, we used to build each other up and make each other feel good about ourselves, both through what we said, small notes, or even bring proud of each other around our family and friends. We are attracted to each other and have sex regularly. We exercise and are both reasonably happy with how our bodies look. We both have excellent relationships with our families and are close with our dads, not common among gay men. I like my in-laws, he tolerates my parents admirably and gets on well with them. We are agreed on not having kids, and that's never been an argument. I trust(ed?) him more than anyone I'd ever met and could let my guard down around him. I've felt lots of love at a deep level.
We've been in marriage counseling for a year now, and it's not going well. We both feel pretty despondent, like our marriage is in serious trouble. He recently told me that he'd been envisioning restarting his life somewhere else without me, and I recently told him I'd been harboring an intrusive desire for him to leave me so the pain would stop.
I want to know if you, the happy spouses of reddit, have ever hit the particular wall that we have, how you got out of it, and what your marriage looks like now:
Our arguments have many onion-like layers to them, but the core from my perspective is lack of empathy and compromise. We start by disagreeing about something - as small as "what art should go on this wall," up to "do we throw away this object that's important to me," and even "should we buy this house" and "should we have a wedding or just go to the courthouse." Since the start of our relationship, I have been pushing us toward good communication: I will ask him what he's feeling and why, affirm and tell him that his perspective makes sense to me and why, and ask for ways in which we can come together for a decision (what would feel OK to him). He does not want to do the same. His opinion is that "we can both be right" is BS and is a roundabout attempt to get what I want over him, and that I'm the one not compromising. One of us is right, one of us is not, and he "thinks with his heart" -- meaning that his thoughts are his emotions, and I am being asked to empathize with his analysis of a situation rather than the feeling he's having. My emotions cannot be valid or respected when he disagrees.
Our couple's therapist has been trying to coax us into communicating better. She sees the empathy problem. But we keep trying, and it doesn't change, the pattern above just repeats when we're with her in-person. I know by now this is deep-seated within him, brought about by his past and people who have manipulated him or broken his trust. I have been in individual psychotherapy for 15+ years, and I have asked him to go himself so many times that the well is poisoned and he's not going to do it.
His perspective is that I've shown myself to be untrustworthy by particular asks for compromise, like wanting to adjust plans after we've made them if I feel overwhelmed, or wanting flexibility on how much time I spend on other aspects of my life. My job is personally fulfilling for me, and the schedule can change dramatically with intense months and chill months, and he sees it as competing with him for my time and affection ("the job is the mistress").
This post comes as I've been feeling more and more awful about myself over the past few months. The lack of empathy becomes a dismissal of how I feel and what I want, what my needs are, and the boundaries I try to set. My own psychology is that I turn the negativity inward, and start to question if I am indeed as wrong as he says and implies, and feel guilt and shame about what I'm asking for. I don't want my marriage to break down my self-respect, but on the other hand, I know that I am a sensitive person and I know that good feelings about myself and my worth have to come from within me alone.
I've asked trusted friends and family for their thoughts and have gotten mixed messages. Some think that empathizing with a partner is core to valuing their happiness, as in, if he doesn't care about making me feel bad then it's a big problem. From this view, wanting input in our decisions is a valid request, and spouses should be our most trusted people who we can come to without fear of invalidation. Others think my standards are too high, and that empathetic communication like this is a huge ask that's not always possible. The suggestions then become to give him what he asks for when we argue like this, since material possessions don't matter in comparison with how important and rewarding a marriage is. I would preemptively remove myself from situations where my boundaries could be violated at all (example, avoiding travel together). And, when we hit a non-negotiable where he insists that I'm wrong, like when he accuses me of prioritizing my job over him, it becomes my responsibility to not internalize it. Take the marriage for the good that's in it, and look to get my emotional needs met elsewhere through a better support system of friendships. I see both perspectives, but I don't know how they would play out in a marriage long-term if I chose one path or another.
Assuming this is it, this is our life, and that he's not going to change, I'm trying to see ways forward.
Your experiences much appreciated.

Lydia awoke with Waldo screaming. Lydia quickly got up and activated the magic stones lighting the room, Lydia did not see a reason for him to be screaming and was about to wake him when he went quiet. Lydia wondered what had happened and as she watched him she became concerned he was not breathing but just as she was about to shake him away he started breathing again then he began to weep in his sleep saying “I would take it back if I could. I did not know what it meant. Please, I never meant for this.” Lydia watched over him for several minutes as he repeated this over and over. Lydia did not know why but after a while she embraced him gently.
“It is ok. We all make mistakes.” Lydia said quietly holding him. She did not entirely know why she chose to do this as she felt some concern over what he was apologizing for having done but something made her decide to stay with him. Eventually, he stopped and started sleeping peacefully. Lydia slowly fell back to sleep after he quieted and returned to a peaceful state.
Lydia awoke again with Waldo sitting dressed on the edge of the bed. “Good Morning.”
“Good Morning.” Waldo replied, turning to Lydia. “Sorry, if I woke you in the night. I do not always sleep well.”
“I can understand that. It took almost a year before I could sleep through the night.” Lydia replied.
“I brought breakfast up. Kna mentioned I screamed in the middle of the night. I rarely have a companion… So I did not know. I guess I was extra loud last night. I woke some other patrons.” Waldo said calmly. Lydia climbed out of bed and dressed herself as Waldo watched her but when she looked at him she felt he was lost in his own mind.
"Copper for your thoughts.” Lydia said as she started to lace up her dress. Waldo walked over to her and helped her.
“I thought I knew who I was…but I remembered things last night…” Waldo said hollowly. “I don’t know what I was fighting for… All that time as a soldier and now I remembered… what I learned before arriving here and it isn’t what I thought.”
“Do you want to elaborate?” Lydia asked.
“I am not sure I know how.” Waldo said and there was silence for a moment.
“Well, maybe you should stay here if you don’t know why you were fighting. At least, until you figure out what you want.” Lydia said and feeling better about what she had heard last night she kissed him gently on the cheek. “Thank you. I would stay for breakfast but I need to get to work.” Lydia said, grabbing a piece of bread with an egg off the plate.
“Have a nice day and I hope to see you later.” Waldo said, as she headed toward the door.
“Good luck today!” Lydia said, smiling and left. Waldo collected several things from his pack then stored it under the bed and took the plate of food to the common room where he ate slowly. Waldo noticed that Lydia was not in the common room as he ate breakfast. Waldo did not have to wait long after finishing his breakfast before Strisk arrived.
“Good Morning!” Strisk waved at Waldo moving across the common room.
“Greetings Strisk.” Waldo replied standing and moving to meet him.
“Are you ready to go down to the training grounds?” Strisk asked.
“Yeah, let’s head out.” Waldo said, motioning for Strisk to lead the way.
“Are you in a hurry?” Strisk asked, leading Waldo out.
“No, nothing like that just…” Waldo stopped in the door exiting the inn as he looked out into the city. Waldo had expected Protham to be small but realized it had been dark when he arrived and late that is why he had not realized how expansive it was. Waldo saw a wall sixty or seventy feet tall. Waldo stepped into the street and could see a gate two hundred or so feet down the road in one direction and in the other there was what appeared to be a small square. “How big is Protham?”
“It is just a small village, only five thousand or so. Most people are employed in fishing the lake or harvesting trees.” Strisk replied. “The gnolls recently opened a college here… Something about ley lines and increased power, but that is not my expertise.”
“I am surprised they even care about the ley line. The planet is so saturated with magic I would have thought everyone can easily use it.” Waldo responded.
“I wouldn’t know about that. Are you a mage?” Strisk asked.
“I cannot use magic… I can still feel it pooling.” Waldo said, wondering why he could feel it still since he now knew he could not use it. “It must be something to do with the leveling. I wonder if there is a construct powering the whole system.”
“You are suggesting a magic artifact causes people to level?”Strisk asked, shocked at the strangeness of the idea.
“Um… So I assume it is a mage college of some kind they opened?” Waldo asked, trying to change topics.
“Yeah. I would have suggested going and seeing the head there about your teleporting but from what I have heard they see almost no one who isn’t a student.” Strisk said, starting to walk down the street. Waldo followed, taking in the people and the streets. Waldo noticed most people were gnollish he saw drakes as well but it seemed to be ten to one.
“Lydia said you are a Drake. I have never learned to identify the scaled races apart from one another. It appears that Protham is mostly gnolls and Drakes. What makes a drake a drake and not say a lizardfolk?” Waldo asked, carefully.
“Lydia is right. I am a Drake. Lizardfolk always have tails. Drakes rarely have tails and those that do have a tail almost always have wings. That is usually the easiest way to tell us apart but it is more nuanced. A healthy Drake’s scales are vibrant, we stand out. A healthy lizardfolk has duller scales. Drakes can have horns or spikes across their head and back but never hair. Lizardfolk never have horns but can grow spikes. Usually they grow something more like a fin, which can be over their head or even down their chin to their chest. All the facial features are nuanced except the eye. Drake’s eyes face forward. Lizardfolk’s eyes face out enough to easily tell if you look at them.” Strisk explained calmly. “Kobolds are short but look like Drakes with a tail and all the other scaled races have gills.”
“Thank you. I realize that might have been rude to ask but I assume it is ruder to make a mistake.” Waldo said as they continued to make their way through the mostly empty streets.
“Most drakes consider it the pinnacle of rudeness to mistake us for the lizardfolk. Well the lizardfolk seem indifferent. I once saw a short Lizardman get mistaken for a Kobold and they laughed about it. Well a few days ago I had to break up a bar fight cause a gnoll called a drake a lizard.” Strisk said. “My people need to calm down about being mistaken for another race. Most cannot even tell the other races apart. No offense, but I assume you are a human because Lydia is one without looking at your ears, which are currently covered by your hair you could pass for an elf in my eyes and if you told me you were a dwarf I would believe it… even though, I think you are too tall to be a dwarf.” Waldo laughed at Strisk’s words.
“An elf you say?” Waldo said, smiling and moving his hair from over his ears. “I am a human. However, I can understand the confusion. Even among humans it is possible for some to mistake another human as one of our kin races.”
“Kin race?” Strisk asked.
“Yes, races that share certain broad features and where half races are possible.” Waldo said.
“Then would Drakes not be a Kin race.” Strisk asked.
“You ever seen a half human and half drake?” Waldo asked.
“Well no, but I was told it was possible.” Strisk said, wondering.
“Possible for our race's women’s bodies to respond as if they are creating a blend. However, it is largely my understanding no blend has survived birth. Maybe one is out there but largely our internal anatomy; bone structure, organ placement, organs in general, and finer points don’t blend into something that survives birth if a pregnancy occurs which to my knowledge is extremely rare and usually it is a half race not a full where that can occur according to one report I read most mothers die in labor if they carry the blend to term and the child still dies.” Waldo said calmly. Strisk stopped.
“How do you know this?” Strisk asked. Waldo thought about it for a moment. Realizing he did not know how to explain having millions of years of knowledge on hand a little surprised he had so easily recalled something from another life. As he thought about it he wondered how he could so easily access it. Then he knew. Four of his prior selves had learned to build a mind palace. When the Orc had implanted all the memories, those four had combined their knowledge and laid out everything, which made him wonder how he knew about the interbreeding of humans and drakes, which brought forth the memories of four doctors. One of which was drake. Strisk watched as Waldo stared off into the distance. Suddenly, Waldo went pale and threw up in the street. “What the hell?” Strisk said, jumping back to avoid getting splattered.
“Sorry.” Waldo said, feeling queasy. Waldo pushed the doctor’s memories away realizing he was not ready to go exploring all the memories aimlessly. Waldo pulled out his hip canteen and washed his mouth out. Spitting the water down a nearby drain “Damn. I was hoping to not have to eat until dinner. I assume the interview will have a combat skills test?” Waldo asked, looking at Strisk.
“Well yes, but what was that?” Strisk asked, feeling the response was unjustified for his question.
“Oh, right, your question. Um… I went to a memory I should have left alone. I was thinking about my time studying… when I strayed into an incident.” Waldo said, trying to explain without lying.
“An incident?” Strisk asked.
“I expect there are things you have seen as a city guard you would rather not remember.” Waldo replied, carefully.
“Oh… you mean something like that. I can understand that. Let’s continue on. Just another block or so.” Strisk said, letting Waldo follow him. Neither said anything until they got to the city's barracks. They had crossed near the center of town and were now at a lakeside gate that had a training arena with a large gatehouse next to it.
“How many positions is the guard filling?” Waldo asked as they approached the building.
“We are adding five new full time positions in hope of growth due to the mage college, three part time, and around fifty new reservists.” Strisk said and then opened the gatehouse’s front door.
“Good Morning, Strisk!” A female voice behind the counter greeted as they entered.
“Good Morning, Violet.” Strisk replied. “Is Trag in?”
“Yes, he got in a bit ago and…Who are you?” Violet asked, staring at Waldo as he entered the gatehouse.
“Waldo Winter.” Waldo said, step into the room and bowing slightly to the human girl behind the counter.
“He is with me. Violet. He arrived in town last night under strange circumstances.” Strisk said.
“Is he why you are meeting with Trag this early?” Violet asked, keeping her eyes on Waldo. “Is he a criminal?”
“Yes to the meeting with Trag and not as far as I am aware. You haven’t done anything illegal have you?” Strisk asked, grinning Waldo.
“Admittedly, I have not read your legal code, but assuming it follows traditional patterns of legal codes for structured societies. Not in this city. At least, I very much doubt I have.” Waldo said, smiling lightly at Violet.
“What are you doing here then?” Violet asked.
“Apart from identifying myself to local authorities due to the strange way I arrived. Hopefully, applying for a job.” Waldo stated. Violet frowned.
“Are you applying for citizenship in Protham or just submitting notice of intent to work in Protham?” Violet asked.
“Notice of intent to work, at this time.” Waldo replied, moving up to the desk as Strisk stepped away. Violet handed him a sheet of paper and pulled out a second enchanted page.
“Good luck finding work here. There are not many jobs outside of scribe, barworker, or general laborer for humans in Protham. The Drakes and Gnolls are larger and stronger than humans naturally and they are basically hiring enforcers right now.” Violet whispered to Waldo. “Where are you staying?”
“The Spriggan Inn.” Waldo said, looking at the form, surprised he could read it. As he started to fill out the form he remembered a passage about grown arrivals passing between world and being gifted languages of the worlds they arrived on from death. Waldo tried to remember the author's reasoning for the gift but could not. Waldo wished he had learned written gnollish languages but had only learned their spoken languages.
“How did you come to be there?” Violet said, showing surprise.
“Long story short…Some sort of teleportation accident.” Waldo answered, focused on completing the form.
“Wow… Lucky.” Violet said, thinking it strange he appeared in the only inn with a human working in it in Protham.
“Yes, but I suspect there is a good reason for that.” Waldo said, handing her the completed form.
“You how to read Grofeas gnoll?” Strisk asked, looking at Waldo holding the form out to Violet. “You said you had not heard of this country last night.” Violet took the form looking suspiciously at Waldo.
"No, I am familiar with other gnollish written languages and this is close enough to them that I guessed. Please check that and make sure my responses make sense.” Waldo said, looking at Violet. Waldo smiled at his omission. He was familiar with several gnoll written languages and had learned a few key words like bathroom, food, and price but had not even memorized their alphabet. Violet started to look over the document carefully. Waldo noticed the enchanted page on the desk had a picture of his face on it now with a list of several things about him, such as height, an approximate weight, and the like. Waldo heard a low growl with several inflections. Waldo looked at the gnoll standing by Strisk.
“Would you mind repeating that? I am not sure I quite heard what you said, because I thought you called me a fur lover.” Waldo said, looking narrowly at the gnoll. The gnoll made several more growls at Waldo. The gnoll had reddish brown fur and stood a little shorter than Strisk. Waldo thought the gnoll would probably be considered extremely handsome among gnolls. He was well groomed and clearly muscled under the fur. He even wore a steel breastplate that was polished to a shine. Waldo saw a stamp over his right peck that appeared to be a runic enchantment.
“Because I am not. I learned it at the time because my life depended on it. The gnolls I met were not as affluent as you are here and only knew one language. Their own. I had to learn it or live without speaking. Their treatment of me would have killed me if I had not learned their language. They knew next to nothing of humans and were a tribe secluded in the mountains. They meant well, but due to the harsh circumstances of the location I was slowly dying from starvation and exposure. It took four weeks to learn enough for rough communication after which I found them to be extremely friendly and curious. I spent two years with that tribe before making contact with a human settlement in the area. I managed to broker a peace there because I learned gnollish. So I continued my education and have since learned various spoken dialects.” Waldo responded to the newcomers' growls calmly.
“Why don’t you respond in gnollish?” The gnoll asked, changing languages. Waldo growled back in several inflections and moved a hand. Violet had noticed hand movements when gnolls growled and never associated it with them speaking but Waldo’s movements were so pronounced she realized it had to be part of the gnollish language. “Fair enough. I am Captain Trag. Strisk says you are a soldier.”
“Wait what did you say?” Violet asked Waldo.
“Violet. Don’t be rude.” Strisk chided, curious himself but having held himself back.
“I am sorry. I have just never seen a non-gnoll speak gnollish” Violet said, almost involuntarily. Trag slapped Strisk across the back of the head.
“Strisk, she is our scribe, do not order her around.” Trag said, smiling. Waldo got the sense that Trag did not like Strisk.
“I explained human throats are not well formed for the gnollish language, which hurts my throat the more I speak it and makes my accompanying hand movements more pronounced than is proper.” Waldo explained to Violet.
“Can you teach me?” Violet asked, seeing how beneficial it would be to know gnollish in her job.
“We can talk after the interview.” Waldo said, smiling at Violet.
“Right, sorry. Thank you.” Violet replied looking over at Trag apologetically.
“Excuse me for interrupting your conversation Violet. I will make sure to send Waldo back once we are done.” Trag said, smiling at Violet then turning to Waldo. “What level of soldier are you? Or is it some other fighting class?”
“I don’t have any levels in fighting classes.” Waldo replied.
“And you want to be a city guard?” Trag said looking angrily at Strisk who looked at Waldo surprised.
“Wait, are you a medic of somekind?” Strisk asked, remembering the other night.
“No, just give me a chance. We should go to the training ground if combat assessment is to be a large part of this process.” Waldo stated, a little surprised they had started asking questions in the entrance.
“It is. We can train you in Protham legal code, but we rarely do combat training for our guards; most people come to us with twenty or more levels in a combat class, when they are applying to be a guard.” Trag stated, as Waldo opened the door.
“Where I come from people do not rely on the leveling systems for combat training.” Waldo started walking to the training grounds as Trag and Strisk followed.
“Where are you from?” Trag asked.
“Halcyon. Heard of it?” Waldo asked, knowing the reply.
“Nope.” Trag replied, thinking this human could never keep up with a gnoll or drake in a fight. “What are you wearing?” Trag asked, no longer able to hold back the question as the human looked very strange to him.
“Desert Armored Combat Fatigues, my throwing knives, combat knife, an assortment of tools I have found useful over the years, and a magic sling.” Waldo said, touching different things on his body. “The armor is stab resistant and there are several metal plates spread out in the fabric. If I get the job I would like to wear this until I can afford to get some locally made gear.”
“A magic sling?” Trag asked.
“Yeah, but I have limited ammo for it. It only works with special magic ammo and I doubt you have that here.” Waldo replied.
“Have you heard of a magic sling Strisk?” Trag asked.
“No, that is new to me.” Strisk replied. “I thought you could not use magic.”
“I cannot not cast a magic spell but this is an artifact. I could teach anyone to use it. If I had unlimited ammo or access to a bullet manufacturer I would be happy to show it off but I only have ninety rounds for it.” Waldo explained.
“How long have you been a soldier?” Trag asked, Waldo had seen himself in a mirror and knew they would not believe the truth. Waldo looked like he was in his prime but Halcyon slowed aging massively Waldo was older than any human got to normally and he was still unsure if he had died or Death’s healing had further reduced the effects of aging.
“Nine years.” Waldo replied, pushing it as far as he thought he could. Waldo had put his age down as twenty nine on the form, but knew he looked closer to twenty now. “I expect I will be sparing with one of you?”
“No, we are waiting for your sparring partners. I sent for two reservists. They generally are not needed for regular guard shifts and if they are injured it should not interfere with their regular jobs.” Trag stated, show us how good you are with throwing knives.
“Alright.” Waldo said, pulling four of the weighted knives from their sheaths. Waldo carried twelve in all. Four on his left leg, two on each arm and four on his chest. Waldo started by juggling the knives as he moved into position to throw them. Waldo smoothly plucked them out of the air as he was juggling them and launched them one after another in quick succession down the lane, with the knives sinking deep into the wooden target in a tight group.
“For having no skills that is pretty good. Now for the moving targets.” Trag said, with Waldo looking back at him as he pressed a button. Waldo watched as the targets began to move side to side. Waldo could tell this was intended for arrows as the range was longer than he would usually throw when it came to moving targets.
“May I move up or do you want me to throw from here?” Waldo asked.
“Tark throws from there.” Trag replied, Waldo grabbed two more knives, throwing them half a second after looking back at the target. Both landed bullseyes but Waldo could feel the strain on his muscles. He was not used to this distance. Waldo pulled two more and turned his back to the targets. Waldo slowly strafed toward the center of the range as he had started to the right side. After a moment making sure to give the targets time to move he spun around and with one hand launched both knives. One landed in a bullseye, but the other fell short. Waldo turned his back to the targets and drew all of his remaining knives placing them at the ready in one hand. Waldo turned and threw three and turned back around quickly. He heard 2 thuds and one that was a clang. He was not sure what the third had hit. Waldo spun around and sent his final knife down the lane hitting another bullseye. The three quick throws were not bullseyes but they had all hit targets.
“That is all the throwing knives I carry.” Waldo said. “Shall I collect them?”
“No, Strisk go get the knives and report back on how deep they are.” Trag said, turning the moving targets off. Waldo moved over to Trag as Strisk retrieved the knives. “Only one complete miss, that is not bad. If you are hired then we are gonna have to replace the knives with some weighted rods. We can issue you some bolas while on duty. Unless a kill order is issued, but most the time we will expect people to be taken alive.”
“Understandable. What is a bolas?” Waldo asked.
“It is three pieces of rope tied to each other on one end and has a weight on the other side. When throwing it, the intent is to hit a person's legs and if it works correctly it will wrap around a fleeing person’s legs and trip them. In town it can be tricky to use and for people they have lighter weights. It was originally used to hunt various animals on the plains. If the weights are too heavy they can break bones.” Trag said, explained. “What class are you?”
Waldo had been preparing for this question since they had asked him earlier. “Diplomat.” Waldo replied.
“You have no levels in a combat class but you are a diplomat as a soldier?” Trag questioned.
“When I use skills from it as a soldier it is generally in interrogations, but my personal goal was to try and find less violent solutions to my nation's disputes. So, I ended up becoming a diplomat. The times I acted in that capacity I was glad to have trained as a soldier. Few people seem to want peaceful resolutions. So as a diplomat I have often been met with violence.” Waldo explained twisting the truth. They stood in silence as they waited for Strisk to finish retrieving the knives. Strisk handed Waldo eleven of the knives and Trag one of the knives.
“Six perfect hits. Three near perfects. Two hits. One miss. Ten hits were all very deep. The one that made the clang hit a metal frame holding the target. It dented the metal and chipped his knife.” Strisk reported as Waldo sheathed the eleven knives he had been handed. Waldo looked at Trag just in time to catch his face returning to a neutral state after what Waldo believed to be a frown.
“How is your hand to hand combat proficiency?”Trag asked.
“I am an expert with a knife, however, I could easily swap it out for a padded baton. It would be harder on me, but I am sure I can hold my own.” Waldo said, showing the knife sheathed across his lower back and trying to determine Trag’s mood. Trag examined the knife and could see it was custom made for Waldo and well used.
“Strisk, you are good to go on patrol. Your partner should be ready about now.” Trag said, with a hint of sadness.
“I was hoping to stay and see him fight the reservists.” Strisk said, a little excited and as Strisk said that it clicked for Waldo.
“No one is coming. To test my combat proficiency.” Waldo said, calmly. “Sorry, Strisk. I should have known better.”
“We should go to my office and talk.” Trag said and handed Waldo the chipped knife Strisk had handed him.
“Wait, why?” Strisk asked, Trag.
“Politics, Strisk. Guardsmen are just a little political, which means Trag cannot hire another human. Especially, not in a citizen-facing role.” Waldo said, with a smile. “Am I right?”
“Violet, is our scribe. Citizen’s see her.” Strisk said looking confused.
“Violet is my scribe. She assists with filing and compiling guardsmen reports. She has only covered the front desk on a few occasions and usually it is to give another scribe a break or chance to go to the bathroom.” Trag stated.
“Strisk, thank you for introducing me to Captain Trag. I truly appreciate this opportunity. I would be happy to speak to you in your office Trag.” Waldo said, smiling at both of them.
“Sorry, Waldo… I didn’t realize.” Strisk said dejectly. Waldo laughed lightly.
“You have done no harm at all and even helped me file documents I needed to in order to stay. You introduced me to your Captain. Strisk, you have been nothing but helpful. Please do not feel sorry.” Waldo said, smiling at Strisk.
“Thanks, I guess I should get going.” Strisk said, clearly feeling better. “Sir. Waldo.” Strisk said, nodding his head to each of them and leaving. Trag started heading towards the guard house and motioned for Waldo to follow, which Waldo did in silence. Trag opened the door and sure enough Violet was no longer at the front desk. There was a male Drake scribe sitting behind the counter.
“Sir.” The drake said, standing up to greet them. Trag waved his hand and the drake sat back down. Waldo followed him up a set of stairs and down a hall to an open room with three scribes working on various documents on a table big enough for four, one of which was Violet.
“Your morning report sir.” A female gnoll scribe said, smiling at Trag and holding a folder. She noticed Waldo and her demeanor changed slightly. She glanced at Violet as Trag grabbed the folder.
“Thank you. I have a meeting for a few minutes. Is there anything urgent?” Trag gestured at Waldo. The scribes all looked up and gave a negative nod. “If needed you may interrupt us.” Trag said, opening his office door and leading Waldo into his office. It was a plain room. There were several chairs facing the back of the room with a large desk and chair behind it facing the door. There were two sturdy looking bookcases organized with an assortment of documents. The room was clean and orderly. A couch sat against one wall with a window behind it that had shutters and Waldo noticed a plain axe with a rope next to it leaning against a bookcase. “Please take a seat.” Trag said, opening the folder as he moved around the desk and sat down. Waldo sat across from him. They sat in silence as Trag read over a few reports. “Thank you for your patience.” Trag said look up from the report.
“Anything important?” Waldo asked.
“No, just the normal going on. Except for you of course.” Trag said.
“Yeah, I made a surprising entrance last night.” Waldo agreed.
“Teleportation has a tendency to create some alerts. If Strisk had not reported your arrival last night, the guard may have interrupted your welcome to our fine city.” Trag replied.
“That report is more thorough than I would have liked.” Waldo stated.
“Kna is a friend and Aer is a gossip.” Trag replied.
“I should have waited in the common room. We could have talked last night.” Waldo guessed.
“Doubtful, but I would have known your face this morning if you had.” Trag stated.
“I had hoped this was an offer for contract work of some kind.” Waldo said, frowning slightly.
“It still might be. I have not determined what to do about you.” Trag replied.
“Oh, well is there something you would like cleared up?” Waldo asked, smiling.
“Kna is worried about one of her barmaids. Aer has never seen her friend respond so positively to someone so quickly.” Trag stated, calmly. Waldo knew they were straying into dangerous territory.
“I have never responded to another human as positively.” Waldo replied, honestly.
“Just two soulmates meeting for the first time?” Trag asked, Waldo jerked in surprise at the word reacting before he could stop himself. Waldo realized Trag did not mean it the way he had taken it but it was too late. Trag had been watching him closely and was now looking unsure at Waldo. “I think you have some explaining to do.” Trag said, prepared to strike. Waldo leaned forward and placed his head in his hand dropping his show.
“This cannot under any circumstances leave this room. If you have listeners they need to stop. If you have a way to make the room secure. I will tell you enough to know why.” Waldo said, unsure of what would happen next.
“What, so can you kill me in silence?” Trag asked, feeling concerned about this stranger's response.
“If you want to tie me up feel free, but I am not talking until I am confident the secret won’t leave this room.” Waldo said, sitting back and calming his nerves. Waldo was trying to figure out how to explain this with as little lying as possible. Waldo wondered if he could avoid lying all together. Trag hesitated for a minute then opened a drawer and pulled out a small box. Trag said a command word under his breath and the box activated.
“Alright, we are alone and no one can see or hear us. This better be good or I won’t keep your secret.” Trag said.
“Have you ever been in love so much it hurt your soul?” Waldo asked.
“What?” Trag asked, surprised.
“I have. If I had understood this was possible. If I had known. I would have done so many things differently.” Waldo said, deciding to be as honest as he felt he could. “I thought she was dead. I joined the wrong people to get vengeance. To make it stop. In doing, so I pissed off some really powerful people. I thought my master was strong enough to protect me and I thought I was powerful enough to protect myself. I want to tell Lydia so bad. I want her to remember our time together. Every second we spent together. If I had magic this would be so easy but using magic to accomplish it would be wrong.” Waldo said, with tears in his eyes. “I wish I could just show her. However, the people I pissed off took my ability to use magic. I did not even know that was possible.” Waldo said, holding out an open palm. “Light.” Trag felt magic tug slightly, but nothing happened. “They took my magic so I could not interfere. When they did that I thought they would send me to a prison cell or some equally horrible place. They cursed me with unwanted knowledge I can barely grasp. Part of my mind is still trying to rip itself apart. But instead of sending me to a desert. They toss me like I am nothing and I land inside Spriggan Inn, in Protham barely even hurt. I did know she was the same soul at first. Standing in the dim light of the inn. She looks the same. Alive working as a barmaid in a place I have never even heard of. She doesn’t even remember me but she was drawn to me just like I was to her all those years ago.” Waldo said. “Kna is worried I might hurt her and honestly so am I. However, if we are to separate again I would have her tell me to go. It would be the most painful thing I ever do but I would leave if she asked. I don’t blame you if you don’t believe me, but I have found my dead lover again, my soulmate and I never thought I would see her. She died so I figured that was it. I did not know about the cycle but now I do. So please give me the chance to win her.” Waldo finished with tears at the corners of his eyes. “Please, I am begging you.” Trag knew Waldo was leaving part out but felt he was being honest and looking at Waldo Trag knew he held this man’s life in his hands at this moment. Trag looked at Waldo and activated several skills he had for conversations like this. Trag knew Waldo did not intend harm at this time or harm to his city.
“For the moment. You have convinced me.” Trag said, still slightly concerned, something about him bothered Trag, but Trag was confident the stranger would be unlikely to deliberately cause problems in Protham.
“Thank you for giving me a chance. I will prove I mean no harm.” Waldo said, starting to recover his composure. Trag grabbed the rope and axe, placing them on his desk.
“Do you know how to cut down a tree?” Trag asked.
“Yes.” Waldo replied.
“As captain of the guard. I am allotted two trees every year. The town allows me to do as I will with the tree tokens, I am issued. The mill will pay me five gold per token on average. However, If I cut the tree down and turn in the tree with the token they will right now pay eight gold. If you cut a tree down and turn it in for me. I will let you keep two gold coins of those eight.” Trag stated placing a token on the table.
“Sounds like a good deal.” Waldo replied.
“Have you hunted boar?” Trag asked.
“I have hunted. Not specifically boar but I am familiar with the complexities they present.” Waldo replied, wondering where this was going.
“Currently, we have a boar problem on the western road and several groups have been attacked by boars. It is quite troublesome. Protham does not have an adventuring guild and most hunters will hunt safer game or only kill one or two boars at a time. You can rent a hand cart for a day for three coppers at the docks. Usually they are used to transport fish around town. They are sturdy carts and can hold several hundred kilos. There are several blacksmiths in town that sell quality steel tipped javelins, for a silver. Now they are not perfect for hunting boar but they should work well enough. Currently, I have placed a bounty on boar kills of a silver per boar jaw turned in. We will even buy the dead boar for one and half coppers per five pounds. However, you could show us the boar, collect the silver, then most local butchers will buy dead boar for two copper per five pounds. Those are the current rates for whole boars” Trag explained.
“Sounds like I have a tree to chop down.” Waldo said standing.
“Out the main gate past the mill and then pick an un-worked tree the taller the better. They pay less for trees shorter than twenty feet and more for trees taller than twenty five feet. If you are willing to search there are some forty and fifty footers out there. I expect six gold regardless.” Trag stated.
“Why are you doing this?” Waldo asked.
“It is not one thing. Lots of little things adding up. Kna is a friend and Lydia is important to her. Kna knows I cannot employ you as a guard. This keeps you out of trouble. Solves a problem for me and if you work hard. Kna might start to like you. I was not going to be able to cut my second tree down before the end of the year. There are more reasons, but in the end, I see no downside for me giving you this chance.” Trag stated plainly.
“Well thank you. I appreciate this.” Waldo said and picked up the axe smiling.
“Good Luck. I plan to eat dinner at Spriggan Inn. So if you get back after sunset you can find me there.” Trag said, gesturing for Waldo to leave.
“Thank you, again!” Waldo said, leaving. After he closed the door he looked for Violet but she was not there. Waldo headed to the stairs back to the entryway. Violet wasn’t there either so he left a message for her and headed back to the Inn. Waldo wanted to ditch his armor before heading out to cut down a tree.

I guess I just need to vent. So, I started MJ in March 2024 at 251lbs at the 2.5 MG dose. I am up to 5 MG now, and maybe I've seen 5 pounds of weight loss. I'm averaging 244 pounds but my weight can fluctuate 5 pounds during the day. I go around with this vague sensation of being "kicked in the gut" all of the time since I started MJ. I'm contemplating, do I go to a higher dose ? or do I give up on MJ completely and just go back to dieting. MJ hasn't been the magic bullet I was hoping for.

Throwaway account because she uses reddit and knows my account
TL;DR, or if you don't care for the long background: my (incredible) gf has a guy friend who "doesn't like third wheeling". I know she has no feelings for him, but the other way around is in the back of my mind because he seems to avoid me at every turn and we have barely even spoke. Would that feel off to you?
Hi Reddit, I (M23) have been in an online relationship for 2 years, just recently flew out to see her (F21), twas magical. First, I feel alot of optimism from that trip, and she's the most incredible person ever, I'm so lucky to have her. Amazing listener, very compassionate and understanding, been there for me in some really hard times, exactly my type (physically and emotionally), knows me better than I do, really fun and funny and sweet... it is going pretty well.
Coincidentally we both had VR Quest headsets and VRChat so we sometimes use it to cope with the long distance. She's got a few friends from VRChat but nowadays just the one, her guy friend (of 1.5 years). I really trust her and I'm not really insecure about anything between them, or at least on her end I guess. I know she would never ever do anything and I know she has absolutely no feelings for him. We have had those talks.
Now, I really don't know much about this guy to provide much context. In the distant past me and this guy (and usually her) have played some games together, and we had awkward-ish fun. He has also told her that he "approves" of us, and I know he likes me enough to not talk shit or start the drama he often starts with other people. My gf does come to me to vent about him being quite toxic (and how it is affecting her quite negatively), so she hasn't exactly painted a pretty picture, but I did encourage her to communicate with him and set some boundaries, so things are getting better there, and they do have fun 90% of the time.
So yeah, this guy is a bit of a red flag to me already, but all in all I trust my gf tenfold and I trust her to take care of herself and maintain the boundaries. What feels off to me is it being "one or the other" nowadays. She can either spend time with him or me, which she only says is because he doesn't like third wheeling. I understand that completely, as I do not enjoy being third wheeled myself. But sometimes it feels like more than that, like he avoids me, or she keeps him away knowing he wouldn't want me around. To be fair, I haven't made that much of an effort to get to know him or spend time, but the few times I did suggest I could join them or we could play a game together, it has been shut down because, again, he doesn't like third wheeling. Sometimes I join my gf in VR a little later on, and he happened to be there, but immediately leaves when I join. If he REALLY doesn't like third wheeling, or even doesn't like me much, that's totally fine and I respect it. I definitely got on peoples nerves in the past. Plus, truthfully, I don't have much desire to really get to know him, mostly because of the picture she's painted of him...
Again I know she has no feelings for him at all, but I don't know anything about him other than some usually bad things she tells me about things he does, plus with the last paragraph, it is in the back of my mind that maybe he is jealous of me or something. Because if that's the case, this friendship between them is just not ok with me. To be clear, if he does have feelings for her, I really don't think she knows, because I believe that she would tell me immediately, knowing that's not ok.
man, obviously the answer is yes this is weird, right? How do we have this conversation? because again i dont think shes ever considered the idea that he might have feelings, because she does not

Female, 27yo W:70kg, H:155cm Non-smoker Bilastine, Mometasone for several years Other medications using at the moment: Propanolol, Flecainide for unrelated heart conditions
Writing here as I am not sure which option to explore next.
I have a history of allergies (allergic rhinitis, allergic asthma, eczema, itchy eyes, cat allergy, pillen, dust, etc.). Have been using oral antihistamines constantly for the past 5 years. When my rhinitis flares up, usually in spring or around winter season due to air pollution, I use nasal corticosteroids.
Last year, I decided to stop using oral antihistamines abruptly and ignore my allergies, hoping they would magically go away lol. This resulted in an awful headache and short term partial vision loss in left eye that evening. It quickly resolved after resuming my medication.
A few months later (December 2023) I tried the same stunt. This time I went an entire month unmedicated when I started experiencing sinusitis-like symptoms. Pressure and pain in the eyebrow region that escalated into headaches and affected my left eye vision occasionally. It is important to note I have congenital Strabismus and a weak left eye muscle so any kind of strain/headache had been affecting my left eye vision since I have been a child. Anyway, I reached out to ENT and they diagnosed me with chronic allergic rhinitis and a mild ear infection as a result. This went away after allergy meds and 3 weeks of suffering.
Since then, whenever I discontinue nasal sprays/antihistamines, the headaches come back. They started a month ago and since then, I have been to 3 different ENTs, they put me on the usual meds (antihistamines+nasal steroid) but the symptoms persist and fluctuate. I understand its high pollen season, but I cannot function like this anymore. Daily forehead pressure that escallates into forehead pain/left eye pressure and temporary vision issues, hot and flushed face. It is impossible to function anymore. Did a Sinus CT, came back normal. Bacterial/fungal nose swab also came negative.
Please give me ANY advice on what to do.

I have recently evolved my beliefs in the last 5-6 years where I no longer consider myself religious, in regards to religious beliefs while also just considering myself spiritual.
I do not follow a title of what I am or anything, but believe in my soul that it's important to do meaningful celebrations and traditions that align with my lifestyle, values, personal beliefs in order to honor my personhood and a healthy balance of ensuring I don't self-abandon myself.
I don't want to put myself into a box ever again, so I just focus on being intuned with myself.
I now think that life is just way too short to do stuff just because that's how you were raised or was taught to do.
I've overcome a lot of religious abuse as well as the mindset in which I was raised and that of my origin family. Some of my most traumatic life experiences happened on the account of my 'upbringing', the beliefs I was raised to believe, a result of religious abuse and generational trauma, where those dogmatic scriptures, beliefs and texts led me to continually go down roads that did not protect me for the simple fact that they pushed 'self-sacrifice' and 'religious-pleasing lifestyles' that do not compliment, protect, and support positive outcomes for women, and sometimes children. I was taught to just do it because that's what the religion inspires, or what the social constructs say to do.
It did not help that I just didn't know any better-I've let go the regret of this innocent ignorance and grief that it initially brought on. Looking back, I cringe at the decisions, choices, and 'enduring' I had survived from that awful upbringing-I now recognize that as, the 'hidden abuse' for a good internal family image-that I too was not aware of until recently, and just the disgusting dysfunctional family dynamic that has revealed itself since I've started to slash those generational curses.
I was abused by one parent growing up by the way, and told the other who did nothing but 'took ME to my extended family's church'. They never stopped it, protected me or stood up for me. Now, much later in adulthood I'm realizing that both of them were abusive, just in different ways and I understand my psycho-emotional disconnect from them and my origin family in general because I spoke up when it happened, even later in early adulthood and I never realized their pattern of describing me as 'dramatic' or continually trying to treat me like a child despite my very grown-up adult age, were and is their way of trying to force suppression of my voice, diminish the truth, protect the original abuser, ignore my independence, growth, healness, and strength I've done the work to cultivate.
My other siblings are dismissive and become extremely argumentative or defensive of our 'loving parents' with any mention of how we grew up, or verbally attack me/talk about me to other family members like I'm the one with the issues with any effort I put forth to ask questions of why and to hold them accountable, or to just disassociate with an image I know is false, have my own life and live truly as a loving and peaceful person, or even just enforce the boundaries that I need that provide safety and continual psycho, emotional, mental, and antimanipulative protection.
I've finally realized that my growth, healness, counseling and the completion of my adult therapy program was and is a threat to the fake image they've all created after all these years. I did not tell them that I've done the work and have finally woke up from this reality due to therapy, because they just make stuff up and don't know that I know they talk about me behind my back. They don't know my current life business and just speculate and make up rumors and assumptions about me and what I have going on or why I'm 'acting' the way I'm 'acting' as truth, without ever even trying to even talk to me, the others just assume much of their revelation as 'truth', which is really just lies-misconstrued info-completely made up speculation presented as triangulation and 'the truth-.
I am at peace, extremely successful and have overcome many things that would typically break the average person. Any reinforcement of boundaries, standing up for myself or attempt to distance myself from my parents since realizing how f'd up they did me when this was happening-even with my forgiving them for this throughout my life.
However, the older I get, when they continue to display the same patterns that were present during the abuse, now, including the thought of why did I even allow them a relationship with me in my life as an adult-because I get so disgusted with even the thought I'd ever allow a child to be abused by my spouse and let alone, stay married to them for decades afterwards. I can't believe I invited them to my wedding and we were the 'loving' bride's side...why was I so like "this is my family and we love each other, we're a close happy family" in my adulthood so long still? Until I woke up? There's so much I've since resolved with my therapist and have done the work to heal from-these are just questions to share the process I went through for insight. Also---It's really pathetic when I think about how different of a compassionate and truly loving person that I've become. I couldn't even fathom allowing abuse in my life or anything even remotely close to it or especially to be done to a CHILD...but here's more of how all my realizations have led me to where I am now:
I am SO glad that I am the VERY manifestation of 'WHEN you know BETTER, you DO better'...oh how the magicalness and bravery of individuals like Maya Angelou, Terrance Howard, and other past/currently alive ascended masters, who did and are leaving the breadcrumbs that nourish the souls of humanity on Earth today... The awakening and true freedom of thought and consciousness of myself has not only changed, but has elevated my existence, and my life.
I now experience the divine nature of love and revelation on a spiritual level that has brought abundance to me in every way and at every level.
I've done so much work, healing, therapy, service, reflection and growth, that the peace I feel daily, is what I never imagined happiness would be like.
To purely love and evolve as I truly am and meant to be, it's frustrating when the one group who we're taught is supposed to 'really' be your people, have been everything but that.
In the last 4 years, my life before now had been turned upside-down. In retrospect from now, I see why, as it had catapulted me into the healed, peaceful and abundant life that I have now.
...But, when everything started to happen, I really THOUGHT they (my family of origin) were there for me. I went to them for guidance and advice-I hadn't awakened to my newfound wisdom-filled reality at this point yet-and they appeared caring, so I thought...
I went to them because I thought they were the only people in my life by this point, who truly loved me 'unconditionally'. Much happened. I took some of their advice in the very beginning, but at the same time I started to remember who the ... I am...and it was on and popping from there, Baby!
From the multiple crises that I'd found myself in all those years ago: I went to therapy, did counseling, shadow work and started reparenting my inner child. I journaled and started to meditate and the answers flowed through me. I allowed the plan for my life to take shape and one after another, I started to solve my problems, so gracefully, all while growing, healing, and finding the peace that I had in my life before these many situations developed. However, it was on a whole other level, an intrinsic peace that scaffolded into a snowball of peace in every area I've ever struggled.
In the last year though, I have survived what I would consider my dark night of the soul and I feel remembered, like, renewed into the person I always had been, but wasn't aware of until now.
I now have strong boundaries that not only protect me, but they also hold me accountable to gracefully standing up for myself, my own personhood, my values, my beliefs, and that which keep me committed to the lessons I learned so painfully over these last few years, just from the 'not knowing any better' and...whew...religion, patriarchy, and so much more of how I was raised that pain-wrenchingly just set me up for failure in this life, if I never had made a change.
I'm SO happy I learned about just how all these constructs and societal blockages were NOT for my flourishing in life, on my own. Finally, the realization.
The more healed, awakened, and spiritual I became, the more I realized the family system that I was raised in, saw me as a threat. Looking back, so much of what I went through and was done to me was beyond messed up and downright wrong and abusive.
So now, there's this awkwardness of not knowing the true extent of the abuse in how I was raised beyond what I can remember...but what I do remember was jail-worthy and I remember calling out that the parent who was doing it deserved jailtime, but I was bullied, threatened with homelessness and I was a child. I didn't know about all the resources available or what I could do besides tell my other parent. 😪
...I did try to call out the obvious stuff as I got older, but I didn't understand that I was covertly bullied and gaslit when I tried to stand up originally...I was always told I need to 'forgive and forget'...and what would ... do? And... 'as a .... we are here to love thy neighbor...' bluh blue bluh...-My whole life, I didn't realize that I was the family scapegoat until 2024.
No matter how much I tried with the things I knew were outwardly morally wrong then, it wasn't until therapy that anyone in addition to myself validated my experiences; that abuse is abuse, every last form of it, and it doesn't matter in what context it happens: religious or political and about 20 other different forms, is not okay...
-So back to the awkwardness of having this lifelong 'close family' that I once thought was so strong and healthy, loving, both parents still together and 'in love', all 8 siblings with 'decent' relationships (not really, they're all really toxic, invisibly debted with that unseen abuse like financial-emotional-mental- cheating/sexual-behind closed doors-whats stays in this house type dysfunction that I'm sure I haven't seen because-behind closed doors-the same trifling household we were raised in), my whole life...UNTIL I LITERALLY woke up within the last year to REALIZE how JACKED UP they were and are. Thinking back to all the times I was not supported or protected, I was the one in the family, out of all 10 who was ever truly genuine, purely intentioned, loved unconditionally...and had no complex with CONTROL...just, it was just me...
Ask me how I know...
The very situations I've found myself in these last 6 years, when I deconstructed from all things religious and political or anti-dignity, when I started to stand up against things without fear, that were not okay, or for the true safety and benefit of humanity of living beings...EVERYTHING started to crumble and I BECAME public enemy number one in my origin family and then marriage. I hate that I grew up so green and just didn't know about stuff until it happened to me in adulthood like misogyny, chauvinism, patriarchy, that 'women are less than' mindset because I would have not married my ex-I was so naive and innocent/blind. I thought how I carried myself was strong and 'obedient' to the 'Word'- NEVER AGAIN-this second half of life will be my path, what makes me feel safe, protected, honored, loved, cherished, happy, filled with joy, and at peace.
At first it was covert while they 'mistakenly forgot my boundaries' or 'didn't know what I'm doing now'...or the 'assuming and then making up their own thing and spreading the lie-behind my back"...
Also, any attempt to speak up and honor the abuse and neglect in childhood that I've overcome and have healed from and ask simple acknowledgment for from my parents, turns into excessive triangulation bringing everyone into the mix (again, in the shadows without my knowledge and behind my back), to point out my downfalls I literally just overcome and healed from these last 4 years, and then continue making up lies about me, spreading false rumors to extended family I don't engage with, don't have a relationship with, or whom I've cut off for being too toxic never changing... making more false grandiose accusations, saying I've talked about or down about people, made claims that I'm better than everyone, that it's all about me...etc...literally because all I did was reiterate my boundaries I've set, called people out for it, who have done toxic things to me. This is in addition to being accused of being all kinds of things because I've 'distanced' myself (from people who are not kind to me and who talk about me behind my back and have called me cruel names for calling them out on the toxic behavior they display towards me for being my own person and holding my ground on my own decisions as a full 30+ year old adult with my own family).
-I literally have an ~ 8+ minute voice-mail of an origin family member talking to someone about me like a dog, of all my private business, the hardships I've survived in the last 6 years-victim-blaming me, and even making up quite a bit...because they unknowingly butt-dailed me last month and I received it and listened to the whole thing-and haven't confronted them yet because I have in the past and it just became a huge cesspool of DARVO, and because I know it'll be a waste of time).
Now, for the last year, they know nothing and instead speculate and make up downright lies about me and my life. 🙄
They have everyone sharing lies about me between the family, calling me after not hearing from them for months and trying to start arguments over nonexistent issues we've never had, taking a statement out of context and championing as a 'see see see she's doing this or that to me when they are the one calling me out of the blue (after already having done previous things to me that I yet again addressed and was ignored about, never changing the behavior or apologizing) and trying to start stuff with me while I was minding my own business...
...all this from a recent holiday that I no longer celebrate that they're fully aware of. In fact, I don't really celebrate most national holidays in the US anymore and have expressed this SEVERAL times with sincerity, whether they're religious or just made up days that many go along with and that's fine, but I just don't want to be in a box and only want to honor and celebrate things that have meaning to my life and doesn't cause undue drama or stress with many layers of things.
They know I'm no longer religious, I have different beliefs and values now and instead of respecting it, they spread rumors, accusations, lies, unproven opinions, attempting various forms of triangulation to target me.
What makes it worse is that my relationship with my parents are so strained. They both took part in the abuse I suffered as a child. Being that I thought I had a really good relationship with one of them until this recent realization (I realized recently that they both were guilty, not just the one who committed it, the other always acted like they didn't know-but they did and admitted it recently). No say strained is an understatement honestly, but I had trying to at least be LC because of their relationship with my own family I've had since adulthood.
However, it was becoming increasingly difficult to even be around their religious talk and 'fake I love all my neighbors, I practice the daily religious routines everyday and read the text daily I'm so devout' act...
On the outside they look like they are just the epitome of devout faith individuals and they are living in according to what religious dogma aim for, all while secretly knowing what they did and allowed in our household-all my memories are very clear to this day, especially since I've awakened.
First Xmas was an issue even though that was a boundary for me. I suggested they were welcomed to celebrate the winter solstice with me, they declined, and I respected that. I offered a nice dinner the week beforehand as an alternative.
Then it was Easter, I declined (as I've reminded them that I hold different beliefs and values now which have really cultivated my lifestyle being different from theirs now, and reminded them that it is not difficult for me to respect their beliefs and values; that I expect the same level of respect from them). As an alternative, since they too were interested in celebrating for a totally different holiday/celebration, as I honor the spring solstice, I suggested a nice lunch on a regular unanchored day to any meaning, and to drive to the country and have a day of exploration where we could end with a dessert picnic on a rolling hill in the place I mentioned. They declined.
Since fully coming out the spiritual closet, most of my origin family has either lied about their communication service being interrupted, they have to work-most don't have jobs, or that they are so busy in their schedules, but are on social media all day-secretly being judgemental talking about people in general (strangers on the internet) who are in very difficult life/hard personal situations where they judge them based on the patriarchal and religious dogma we were raised in. It's really sad to me I have no more interest in engaging with negative people.
But what's really pathetic is they make up rumors and lies about me and start drama for my having my own separate lifestyle now everytime a national political holiday (tied to some form of historical trauma) or a religious holiday comes around as they (mentally try to) attack me because I didn't celebrate or 'honor' them-all while not knowing I have proof of every last one of them talking about me badly behind my back with lies and/or spreading rumors about me that aren't true. Literally.
The last straw was the most recent holiday, not calling or contacting them because I refuse to have or remind them for the 1,000,000th time about that boundary and standing up for my beliefs-it's so exhausting.
There's nothing wrong with wanting to live around positive, encouraging and accepting people who live by love and honoring everyone's humanity no matter their religion, gender, sex, background, status, etc...and just being kind to people in general, as long as they're not murdering or harming others (outside of self defense, like TRUE self-defense and not the kind cruel people try to use as a cover to inflict harm), everyone has a right to believe in and have the values that make them feel safe and whole.
Long story short, I know I am not the AH for standing my ground and protecting my personhood and that NO ONE on earth is entitled to what I believe, value, or what I choose to celebrate or not.
*I'd like to add a note that I have done especially deep, caring, loving, and acknowledgingly beautiful actions throughout every year my whole entire life and not just since this recent change in these last few years, like 12-20 times a year.
I no longer try to keep explaining or trying to defend why I'm defending myself against disrespect and people who are not gentle towards me like I've been with them throughout my life, always there, always the one to support.
I just do not care anymore, if I have to be along or start my (chosen) family over this time around, I will. I just despise drama and toxicity. I will not let it permeate into the peaceful life I've fought to build at this stage of my life.
(Thank you if you've made it this far, I know it appears all over the place, but it is all connected to my now and waking the...up...from the nightmare I didn't know I was in all my life until recently).
-The Recently Realized Family Scapegoat and origin family generational curse-breaker

Hartmann flies towards Yu Huang on his new waterbound Hydra. As the plane begins to fire Yu Huang holds out his hand, the Hydra getting in the way again, blocking the bullets with one of its heads, another head snapping towards the plane, Hartmann going up and above it. “Damn! This new dragon would DIE for you huh, Herr Huang!?”
“It will do no such thing, Hartmann. I would not allow such behavior from my dragons! The hydra’s regeneration allowed it to live so long as a head remains!” He calls out, Hartmann laughing happily.
“Right. So I gotta take out ALL the heads at once!? Kinderspiel!” He calls out as he spins around to approach Yu Huang again.
Yu Huang scoffs, stamping down his staff. “Hmpf. Child’s play you say? Doubtful any child should find themselves in the midst of these battles! Unless you consider yourself a mere CHILD!”
Izanagi crosses his arms with a smirk. “You tell him, old friend! Bwahaha!”
Ao Kuang and his brothers all facepalm a little. “Our father needs to work on his banter huh, Tsukuyomi?”
Tsukuyomi looks back briefly. “Oh um… I guess so? It is not… what I admire him for.”
"Right… us neither.”
Yu Huang spins his spear back, thrusting forward and one of the hydra’s heads mimic his movement and FIRES off its head from the socket, Hartmann’s eyes widening as he does a full flip midair to fly over it.
Hartmann’s gaze suddenly drops a little, darkening. “I suppose we should stop using the baby guns then! Let’s switch to something more ADULT!” Hartmann approaches once again, confidently letting go of the control stick and suddenly he flips upside down in his glass bubble cockpit. On the opposite side is another two handles, which he grabs hold of and shoves them forward, thumbs on the buttons at the end of each. Two plates move aside on the bottom of the plane and two large gun-barrels shoot out, pointing in the direction Hartmann is looking. He starts firing, the heavy rattling of bullet-casings plunging off the sides of the jet and heavy bullets smashing against Yu Huang’s hydra, forcing him to dodge rather than merely block it with the heads as they are torn apart by these bullets, the head snaking back and forth in the water, the hydra’s underwater body darting backwards. “That’s right! Kinderspiel! Limiting yourself to only TWO planes of movement, Herr Huang!? Not a smart idea when you’re against the greatest three dimensional fighter in ALL THE HEAVENS! If this is your best idea then I will NEVER be shot down!” He laughs with a strained smirk. “Never…”
Yu Huang blocks a bullet, deflecting it to the side with his spear. “Such arrogance! And yet you too have limited your movement no!? Without your hands on that stick in your machine you move in ONE dimension! Straight ahead!” He pushes his palm forward, two hydra heads shooting forth from the water aimed directly at the jet.
Hartmann doesn’t have time to readjust his seat, but he smirks. “And here I thought you and I had an understanding, Herr Huang!” He suddenly kicks his foot past the yoke before pulling and catching it on his foot, yanking himself into the air, blood rushing to his head but he merely shakes it off. “Woooooohoooo!”
Yu Huang sees the jet twirling in the sky and he pauses. “To think once upon a time… I too believed myself untouchable… How foolish I was.”
-Ancient Past-
Yu Huang raises the gavel. “This meeting is hereby adjourned!”
“But we still have the matter of what to do with Wukong?” A god chimes in as Yu Huang slams down his gavel.
“I have no care for that monkey. Do not waste my time, you imbecile or I will show you why I rule this council,” He holds up his hand and the green energy flows up his wrist, forming little scales around his fingers.
The god flinches and swiftly rushes off. “Nevermind! My apologies!”
Yu Huang stands from his seat. “Hmpf. Wukong,” He mutters to himself before stepping off the throne onto the head of a few dragons acting as his staircase, the beasts whimpering as he does. “Silence. Follow,” He walks out of the council jumping into a saddled dragon which quickly flies him off towards the Jade Palace. “Before this. We go east,” He mutters with a smirk. The dragon roars and shoots towards the west, landing at a large temple, Ao Kuang standing outside, next to a large red pillar with golden rims.
“Father?! I-I did not expect to see you here!” Ao Kuang quickly kneels, as Yu Huang strides past him.
“You bow too late, dragon. A king you may be, but that is nothing to an emperor. I expect you to be kneeling BEFORE I arrive,” He says and Ao Kuang feels a bead of sweat dripping from his forehead. He upset his father… This is not good. “I am feeling charitable at the moment. So I will forgive it this once. So tell me. How is the caged ape?” He smirks and Ao Kuang stands and nods.
“The caged monkey! Yes of course! Um… I do not mean to upset you further, father… but…” As they walk in they hear banging of flesh on metal, wet bangs… as they walk in Wukong is standing in a large golden bird-cage elevated above a massive hole in the ground, water flowing into it from all sides. Wukong is HAMMERING his fists at the bars, blood dripping from his fists and feet as he goes, the golden pristine pillars making up the bars all colored red with blood. His eyes are wild and focused on the pillars. He has not even seen Yu Huang enter. “But the monkey has not stopped striking the cage since his imprisonment 1000 years ago.”
Yu Huang’s eyes go slightly wide. “Not for a moment, you say? Hmpf. Foolish mortal. MONKEY!” He calls out, Wukong’s eyes flickering and he stops with one final punch, shaking the cage. “How are you enjoying your endless life in Heaven?”
“Fuck you…” Wukong says, springing towards the closest point to Yu Huang. “Come in here you bastard! I’ll kill you! I’ll kill you and ALL your BASTARD kids for what you did! Show you what it’s like!”
Yu Huang laughs. “Oh please,” He raises his hand and with a single palm strike a dragon-head blasts forth from his palm, striking Wukong and knocking him to the other side of the giant cage he is in. “You would stand no chance. I am not some mortal being. I am The Jade Emperor. Do not forget this,” He smirks and turns to leave. “I have seen what I need to see. I am going home.”
Ao Kuang bows his head. “It was wonderful to be graced with your presence, father,”
“You are most welcome,” Yu Huang steps onto his staddled dragon once again and it flies off. “Foolish monkey. Attempting to argue and challenge a god such as myself? Preposterous.”
And so… time passed. Every 1000 years or so Yu Huang would visit the temple to check in on Wukong. Each interaction between the two followed this same pattern. Yu Huang was quite pleased with his work. The disrespect Wukong had shown him, making him pleased to see the monkey getting his comeuppance.
Yu Huang is sitting in the Jade Palace, looking out into his garden seeing his mighty dragons, chained to the ground to ensure they do not fly away. Those darn beasts do not listen to authority! Yet undoubtedly the dragon is the greatest symbol of power in all of Heaven! He suddenly hears a loud and disruptive CRASH outside. “What is the meaning of this!?” He says waving his hand. “Guards. Deal with whatever that was,” However before any of the angel guards can even leave another angel comes BURSTING through the door.
“Lord! Lord Yu Huang! It’s… IT’S WUKONG!” He yells, Yu Huang’s eyes going wide as he stands.
“Wukong!?” He swiftly makes his way down to the bottom level. “That monkey escaped?! What trickery he must have used. I shall punish Ao Kuang DEARLY for this!” He says before the front door BLASTS open and an angel comes tumbling in, Yu Huang stopping him with a flick of his palm, causing a dragon tail to swipe the angel aside. He furrows a brow as Wukong comes walking through the door, an aura of DEATHLY killing intent following him like a thick black smog. “So… you have escaped. I am quite impressed. And what will you do now?” He says smirking confidently. Wukong tosses something he’s holding above his head into the room. Yu Huang hears four grunts of pain seeing the Four Dragon Kings writhing on the floor. “Ao Kuang! Stand and get your prisoner under control. This is ridiculous.”
Ao Kuang pants, bleeding from his head and struggling to move. “I’m sorry father… I do not know… how this happened. He’s… too strong… he took the Pillar somehow. Ruyi Jingu Bang. He simply… picked it up. I have never seen anything like it.”
Yu Huang scoffs. “You expect me to deal with this myself then? How disappointed I am in you.”
“Sorry Father…”
Yu Huang looks up towards Wukong. “Tell me, monkey. What purpose have you brought these four to my doorstep? Simply to prove yourself worthy to fight me?”
Wukong slams his staff down. “I’m gonna kill these sons of yours in front of you. And then you. Let’s see how YOU like it when your family dies in front of your eyes!” He raises it and holds it to Ao Kuang’s head. “Simply letting go of this and his head is crushed to a paste.”
Yu Huang raises an eyebrow. “My sons? These are not my sons. These are my servants. The guards for my temples. You believe them to be irreplaceable to me? Though I suppose it would be a bother to do so. Very well. I shall allow you to face me,” He takes a stance, the green energy flowing into his palms, forming dragons to float around them ready to blast forward.
Wukong’s eyes widen. “You’re worse than scum… you don’t even care! This guy!” He nudges Ao Kuang. “Was more afraid of you being disappointed in him than he was of ME killing him! What kinda monster are you!?” He shoves the four dragon kings aside.
Yu Huang scoffs. “Insolent child! Allow me to show you the strength of Heaven’s mightiest god!” He strikes forward one of the dragons he created, shooting forward only for him to suddenly find Wukong’s hand wrapped over his face.
“This one is for Zhu, my best friend. The person who stood beside me all my life and helped me through countless tough decisions.” Yu Huang is BLASTED through the back wall of his palace, into the dragon-filled courtyard.
“Ngh!?” Yu Huang recovers, with a wave of his hand a dragon head forming under his feet to gently set him on the ground. “You caught me off-guard with that speed. I am impre-” He is forced to lean himself over backwards as Ruyi Jingu Bang SHOOTS forward out of the hole in the wall, Wukong suddenly above him, standing on the staff.
“This one is for Bai, the love of my life, the only woman I will ever love,” He strikes down, hammering Yu Huang into the ground hard enough to dislodge the pillars holding down his dragons who all scatter into the sky. Yu Huang claps, sending a pulse of energy out around him swirling with dragonic murals within the shield.
“So you are a little stronger than I care to admit! You are going to BEG me for mercy!” He says before suddenly Wukong is standing in front of his shield.
“This one’s for the chief, the man who took care of me, despite my faults, who was kind to me when I was unworthy of his kindness,” He kicks forward the shield shattering like glass, Yu Huang feeling his lunch coming up as he’s struck in the stomach, coughing up blood and vomit before he goes flying into the sky. As he reaches the pinnacle he feels Wukong’s hand once again grabbing him. He’s so fast! What is going on!? “And this is for my kids. Luohou, Yuebei and Jidu. Who did no harm to you or anyone else, merely teased one another as siblings do,” Wukong’s voice is practically lifeless as they fall towards the palace, Wukong HURLING Yu Huang downward, crashing through floor after floor after floor until he once more strikes the ground floor where their ‘fight’ started.
“Kah!” Yu Huang looks up seeing Wukong hurling his staff down as well, and it grows. Yu Huang is trembling in every bone. He cannot defeat this mere mortal. This MONKEY!? Where was this arrogance of his coming from? Supreme power? Birthright? How could all of it measure up to NOTHING? There was no divine pride left. A mere mortal, whom he had treated as less than dirt, was able to simply waltz into HIS palace, dismantle HIS guards and crush HIM effortlessly!?
“And THIS! Is for the rest of the Anima! A people plagued by war, but one that could have become something greater given time! The millions of lives YOU ENDED with your cruelty!” MONKEY KING’S GOD-CRUSHING…!! However, suddenly Yu Huang sees shadows looming over him. The Four Dragon Kings.
“Do not worry father! We will protect you!” Wukong’s eyes widen as he kicks the staff down, shrinking it back to normal size and it pierces through the floor, embedding itself without touching any of the five gods.
He lands in front of them rather nimbly. “What are you protecting this ASSHOLE for!? He treats you like servants! He doesn’t care about you!”
“He is all we have!” They all four hold their arms out. “We were worthless before he showed us a path. He may treat us as his servants. But to us he’s our FATHER! He gave us purpose. He showed us kindness when no other would! Killing him would do NOTHING for you, except… continue this cycle of revenge!” Ao Kuang calls out and Wukong grits his teeth, raising his hand to strike the weak and bruised Dragon Kings aside.
“Seeing your father struck down in front of you, huh? Revenge… violence,” He finds a string tugging at his heart, while Yu Huang looks at him, his eyes practically shaking and unable to focus. Wukong picks his staff out of the ground, stomping up to Yu Huang, picking him up by the throat, Yu Huang desperately firing a shot of jade energy at Wukong’s head, striking him dead on yet he didn’t even react. What is this ridiculous strength!? “What’s wrong, Yu Huang? Scared of a monkey? Don’t be. You got some good kids. But understand this. I am not forgiving you. I’m showing you something I don’t think you gods have ever heard of. Mercy. You gods have tormented me for long enough. It’s MY turn to torment you guys a little… by living a free life,” He tosses Yu Huang into the room, stretching as he walks out.
Ao Kuang and the other three kneel down to Yu Huang. “Father! Are you alright!? W-we apologize for not being able t-”
“No… I am the one who is sorry.”
“H-huh?!” They all look at one another in confusion.
“I have treated you poorly… What have I been doing? My arrogance, founded on my magical strength. Tormenting you, Wukong, the dragons. Oh the dragons!” He stands and looks to the skies seeing the dragons burning their saddles and muzzles from one another’s back, soaring free. “I truly… truly am not worthy of any of this…”
-Present day-
“You!? You defeated The Jade Emperor so effortlessly!? Incredible!” Sakai exclaims as Wukong looks at the screens with a light scoff.
“Yeah I did. Don’t think it’d be that easy anymore though.”
Pandora manages to strain herself to sit and look towards Wukong. “Ngh… what… do you mean, Wukong? You are… incredibly powerful still, right?”
Wukong nods. “I am, no doubt about that. But since I humbled that old bastard he bettered himself in every conceivable way. Even gave up his seat at the council.”
“So he’s… good now? Gah!” Pandora grabs her belly in pain as Hartmann begins to fire again.
“Ha! Fat chance! He still voted for your kind’s destruction and he STILL-” He cuts himself off, gripping his arm tightly from their crossed state, breathing in. “He’s not off the hook at all. I hate him moreso than any other. But with his newfound knowledge and understanding of dragons, the source of his power, his strength increased exponentially.”
Everyone’s eyes widen. “So simply that mental switch… and he’s THAT much more powerful?”
“‘fraid so, Pandora. That bastard’s one of the toughest gods in Heaven.”
Hephaestus pushes Pandora back onto her back. “Pandora… do not strain yourself, please!”
Pandora gives a strained laugh. “I’m fine, dad.”
Wukong squints. “I hope this Hartmann finally ends you, Yu Huang.”
Yu Huang smirks. “Truly incredible, Sun Wukong. To feel your animosity this far out…” He strikes the air with his palm again, sending Hydra-heads blasting towards Hartmann, who swiftly swerves aside, the hydra swimming away as fast as it can. “But for the sake of those who hold special places within my once cold heart…” Hartmann approaches again, switching his orientation again to fire his heavy cannons. “IT SHALL BE YOU WHO IS FELLED!” He yells out clapping his hands together the Hydra firing several of its heads towards the plane at once, Hartmann gritting his teeth.