Hi! 👋🏻
Let me start off by saying while I’m not ruling out meeting down the line I am looking for online only at this time. I’m doing a lot of self work currently and want that to be my main focus right now.
That being said, let me tell you about myself!

• I am 35 years old.
• Single. Never married. I don’t have any children, and at present do not want any (however I am not ruling that out. I know the right person can change everything)
• I enjoy giving back to my community through various initiatives.
• My job is awesome and I geek out over it.
• I love to read, paint (watercolors and gauche mostly) - although my carpal tunnel has really slowed that down for me.
• I love to write and have been producing sad poetry for as long as I could take a pen to paper. I’ve been published twice.
• I sing random songs at any given time, it’s always a Saturday night drunk at the jukebox in my head.

5’1” long brown hair that’s honestly littered with grays now. Naturally curly but I usually wear it straight. I’m not a small girl (part of my self work currently) blue eyes, tattoos.
As I mentioned I am focusing on bettering myself. Admittedly it can get a bit lonely. I’m looking for someone I can banter with while we move through our days. Phone calls, texts, a slow burn if you will. I wanna build a solid foundation with someone and continue from there. I want to share laughs with you, hear about your day. Tell me how your colleagues drove you crazy or how the dog got into the trash while you were in the shower.
About you:
I’ll lead with this. I do have a type, and while I won’t rule anyone out I’d prefer you be Hispanic, between ages 31-45. Honest, funny & most of all genuine.
Sorry this was so long. If you wanna chat, shoot me a message!

I (F21) met this guy (M21) on hinge about 2 months ago. We hit it off immediately but i made it clear that i wasn't completely over my ex at the time. He told me he was fine with it as long as it didn't become an issue. We went on a lot of dates and he treated me really well, i almost felt guilty. I told him i wasn't ready for a relationship yet and i wasn't ready to commit very early on. However, he still acted like we were a couple and sometimes it blurred the lines. I would frequently mention my ex in passing without realizing it until after the fact. I could tell that it visibly annoyed him. What's baffling is that i've been over my ex for a while but i keep mentioning him for some reason. The problem is that a few days ago, i commented on a TikTok post about missing an ex when you're with a rebound and i wasn't thinking when i did it. He ended up seeing it and said that we're done. I was extremely taken aback and I acknowledged that it wasn't right. He mentioned that this behavior has happened several times and he felt disrespected by me. He asked for space but its really hard not texting him. I tried explaining that i wasn't thinking when i wrote that comment but he wasn't having it. I just don't want to lose him because i don't think of him as a rebound anymore. I'm ready to move on from my ex and date but i keep self sabotaging by mentioning him unintentionally. I dont want to lose this guy because of a stupid mistake i made.

So about a few months back, i started talking to this girl, it all started when i borrowed her sharpener, we talked. and a few months after she asked if she could come with a few of my friends on this movie we've been itching to see, and after we got paired with each other on a school project, which i didn't finish, and ultimately ghosted her. but she just swapped groups and dismissed it for some reason
after a month, we started talking again. legit everyday we would, the whole day, while i eat. while i do my homework, then on march, she confessed her feelings that she liked me. although only recently. she was originally looking for friends but found me peculiar as i was an understanding and a nice person, we dated and after a few days, we decided to tell our parents, they understood too but we made a promise to focus on studies and not make an early family. which we weren't even planning to but we understood
she was caring, she understands, and she doesn't have temper tantrums or mood swings, she's perfect, she's introverted, she's my type. she's the 10/10 ive always dreamt about. she doesn't mock me of my looks, she compliments me, we have the same likes. dislikes, we both play roblox, she's basically the girl version of me
although one problem, i usually have this toxic trait of being jealous to other people when they talk to my close friends, and it seems to intensify when she talks to other people, i don't know how to solve this. ive tried telling this to my parents and they just said "stop overthinking, calm yourself"
I told her about the jealous part and she understood and never tried talking to other people again, i feel like controlling her with that and i don't want to do that to her. but at the same time i hate it when she laughs at jokes that our other classmates tells to her. i can't understand myself
But theres more, i also have this toxic trait of "self sabotaging", i would create fake scenarios where it would make her jealous. but she seems to be unaffected for the most part, except for that one time where i hurt her heart. but i swore to never talk to the "person" again and we never talked about it since.
Am i going crazy? is this the product of multiple years of being gaslighted into doing things, is my mind subconsciously doing this? because whatever i do. whatever restrictions i put on myself, i always make up fake scenarios, whether its harmful ones up to ones where you are gonna question every single thing I've told you.
is this because i fear that i may be replaced easily? because im thin, i have no muscle. but i already told that to her and she promised that she wont replace me, and it wouldn't explain the gaslighting.
And no, im not gaslighting this whole post, im genuinely looking for help.
So I'm here on the teenager sub reddit to see if anyone has tips and advice on how to overcome this.

I find that I am best able to process and work through themes I need to work on in myself through art. A common way I do this is by covering up something “ugly” with something “beautiful”- for example, right now I am working on a painting about self love, and self hate- something I struggle with a lot. I like to think that the act of transforming something I want to change with something creative is a spell in itself.
I started by writing on the canvas with a sharpie everything mean I could possibly think about myself. Every insecurity, thing I hate, etc. I’ve painted over it and changed things many times, but I’m finally almost done. I’m not gonna post or describe the whole thing, but the important part is that I have two blob like creatures in the middle who are see through with their organs exposed (symbol for me of vulnerability, turning myself inside out, the two figures being the sides of myself who war with eachother). On the wall next to them, I have painted two frames, but for now they are empty.
I have gone back and forth with what I want to paint inside them, but I think I’ve landed on some kind of animals, flowers, herbs, foods etc that might symbolize self love or one’s inner child. I want them to be a sort of representation of a memory of a past version of myself who wasn’t so self hating.
I’ve thought of a rabbit, a baby chick, even a cat, maybe cinnamon sticks or a narcissus.
Any other ideas? I’m open to any and all kinds of symbolism that any of you can think of that ties in with this!!
Thank you and be well❤️

Hello, please enlighten me pano poba nagwowork ang per cutoff, duedate ganon diko talaga magets, ang statement date ko is every 21st of the month ano po ibigsabihin non? tapos nag dudue lagi sya every 15th pano poba yun?
for example nitong april nakita ko sa SOA may march 21 po na purchase tapos hanggang april 21 po ang nacover nya na babayaran (due is may 16) ibigsabihin poba sa MAY na SOA namin is coverage nya ay april 21 hanggang may 21? tapos magdudue uli sya ng june 16?

My dating history hasn't been the best. When I look back at all the relationships and flings I'd been in since I started being involved with them, I just want to say sorry to my younger self. She gave everything to people that treated her like an afterthought. She deserved better. And I deserve better.
I started dating at 14, with my first boyfriend being much older than me. I had little to no self esteem and he was the first boy that had ever called me beautiful, and I would have done anything to please him. No matter how many hours of sleep I lost or how distant I became from my friends and family, I would have done it. Then we broke up.
My second boyfriend when I was 18 was finally my age, but he was even worse. He was the type to ignore calls and texts and would only initiate if I needed something. When someone would compliment me he would tell me I wasn't even that pretty. When I would get an award or achievement he would say it was because of him. He would withhold affection and would call me a slut if I wanted to get physical with him and would shame me in front of others for it, despite me being a virgin. Yet I still would have done anything he asked for. I would skip classes to meet him and stay out late to support him at events and tutor him in our shared classes. Then he broke up with me.
All the flings and fuck buddies after were no different. They would get girlfriend treatment without the commitment and I was fine giving it, again and again and again in a repetitive cycle. Each time they would throw me away and I would ask myself why I wasn't enough.
I'd convinced myself I was the one lacking, I was the one with the issues, I was the one that was difficult to be with. It was all my fault.
I spent a lot of time on my own. The solitude... I'd go so far as to say it was healing. I went to therapy, got my masters degree, started my dream job, got active, healed my relationship with food, dressed in clothes that made me feel beautiful, stsrted journaling, and rediscovered my love for my hobbies.
I'm 26 now. There was a guy I was talking to for weeks. He would tell me we were made for each other. He would say I was his dream girl. I didn't know how he came to those conclusions, though. He never asked me questions about myself, but I was always curious about him. He always gave short answers, but I was happy to reply with paragraphs. He never asked me what pleased me but I would be more than happy to give him whatever he wanted. And then it hit me.
No. I'm not doing this again. And I ended things. Me, not him. Me. There will be no more of this.
Life is too short to love with half of my heart but it is far too short to let myself think half-hearted love is all I deserve.

TLDR; how can I change the date of my phone hearing for a case my employers are appealing? I didn’t get the letter until 2 days beforehand and was told to submit evidence but I don’t have time!
I got a letter from IDES that my employer is once again appealing the approval for benefits that I’ve already received two or three times. I got a letter saying that there will be a phone hearing on Friday at 9am and to submit all evidence I have that proves why I should be eligible and why I told them that my termination reason are false accusations on my employers end.
A little backstory without giving any hints of my identity, (I may have old coworkers in here), when I first applied, I got denied of course then had a phone interview with IDES about the inconsistencies in my employer’s reason for termination and request for denial of benefits. My ex manager told ides that I was terminated for something that would severely affect my license but told me something completely different so I was absolutely dumbfounded when ides revealed that info to me. My employee file was submitted to ides for review and they stated that I was not fired for my own wrongdoing and approved me for benefits.
My question is, I got this letter WEDNESDAY but the hearing is FRIDAY???? How would I go about getting that date pushed back so I can prepare for that? Can I even do that? Honestly I don’t need unemployment anymore because I just started a new job but I don’t want to just not show up because I’m sure they’ll make me pay them back and they don’t deserve that after fucking me over 😂
Yes I am speaking with a lawyer about this whole situation and legal action will be taken. I know this description is kinda vague but the case is strong.
Also, anyone know of any good employment lawyers in Illinois? 😂 my lawyer friend isn’t practicing anymore :(

Hi all,
Have some stuff for sale that's no longer being used. Need to get rid of it soon so feel free to send offers. Bundle discounts available.
Please comment before PM - I do not reply to Reddit Chat messages. PM for further details, questions, bundle discounts, local pickup and negotiations etc. Local is Chicago, IL. Thank you.

Name/Timestamp	Price (Shipped/Local)	Condition/age	Description/reason for sale/etc
Bose Noise Canceling Headphones 700 NC700 carrying case with white Bose USB-C to USB-A cable and white 2.5mm to 3.5mm cable	$40/$30	9.5/10, purchased in December 2023	DOES NOT INCLUDE HEADPHONES - only the case and cables. Got these with the Bose NCH700 headphones. They are in excellent, like-new condition and come with the original white color charging and audio cables.
Surface Pro 6 with i7 8650U and 16GB RAM & 512GB SSD. Bundled with Alcantara Signature Type cover, Surface Dock, 2x genuine Surface 65W chargers	$360/$340 $325/$300	Tablet: 8.5/10; Type cover: 7/10	This Surface has the 0.4GHz bug (CPU doesn't boost beyond 0.4GHz). The fix for this is to keep ThrottleStop running in the background with BD PROCHOT disabled. I can guide you through setting it up so that this bug doesn't affect usage of the laptop. There is also a slight haze in a dime-size area near the bottom of the screen which is visible when the screen is pitch black but not in bright/white screens. Check last 2 pics in the album to see examples of thee same. Was been using it as a secondary device to watch movies, listen to music and as an occasional Steam Machine. The type cover is one of the best chiclet keyboards I've typed on, and the dock is supremely useful to connect it in a snap to a bigger display (especially when streaming games)!
Genuine Surface Go Charger	$25/$15; free if you buy stuff worth $60 or more	7/10	Surface Go Charger. Works.
Genuine Apple 67W USB-C Power adaptecharger with Apple Type-C cable	$45/$35	10/10 like-new	Got this sometime in early 2023 to use as a single charging solution for my laptop and phone, but never ended up using it. Only taken out of box and used once jusut before taking pics to confirm that the combo works
iWalk Secret 4500mAh portable Lightning charger	$20/$10; free if you buy stuff worth $60 or more	BNIB	Got this as a gift sometime in 2023 but I don't have a Lightning iPhone/iPad. The black leather looks pretty sick actually.

Me (26m) and my Girlfriend (25f) broke up last week after 8 years, it was fairly mutual because we both grew apart, it took me a week to realize why we grew apart, she had trust issues from previous relationships, never trusted me to make my own decisions and essentially made them for me, I never gave her any reasons not to trust me so the entire relationship I just hoped one day she would, but in the whole 8 years, I never communicated with her about it, I just let it happen, in all of our arguments she’d tell me exactly what she was missing in the relationship, but I couldn’t ever seem to figure a way out to want to do those things for her, and every time we had arguments all I could focus on was what was missing because I couldn’t give her what she wanted, I almost wish we had broken up years ago so I could’ve realized that I needed to tell her what I wanted, so she could have figured out if she could be what I wanted, I know that if she could have I could have given her everything she wanted effortlessly, at the end of our relationship she emotionally cheated on me with someone else for 3 months before leaving me then slept with him immediately after the breakup, and now I’m pretty sure they’re dating, with the amount of disconnect we had I really don’t blame her for it(still hurts like hell) but now that I realize what was wrong in the relationship I want to give it another go, and I’ve voiced most of this to her, it feels like she wants to but is fighting herself over the easy option and the hard option, being with him or working it out with me, we both loved each other through our differences, I’m trying better myself through all this and gain some self confidence back, I just wish I could do it with her, and I wish I opened my eyes earlier
She’s my first real girlfriend and the only person I’ve had sex with, the amount of confusion and pain I’m going through rn I never imagined was possible
I’d like to hear some input on my story, maybe some similar stories that worked out or didn’t work out, or just some input on what to do next
TL;DR me and my girlfirend broke up and I possibly realized too late that it was because of the lack of conversation from my side and the lack of trust from hers, now I feel lost

Scumbag alert fyi
I’ve said my wife is the love of my life for a long time. She is everything a perfect wife should be. She’s smart, funny, beautiful, responsible, loving, and her personality meshes with mine so wonderfully.
That being said, I met a woman last year who captivated me the second I saw her. If I’m being honest, she’s one of the hottest women I’ve ever seen in person, and I ended up asking her out. Now we’ve been dating for months, and things have progressed to the point I’m conflicted.
Due to certain circumstances surrounding her life, I’ve been able to maintain our relationship through casual weekly dates and through daily texts, without her trying to meet my family and friends.
Regardless, our intimacy has been amazing, and she’s sexually everything I’ve ever wanted. How she presents herself in public is exactly what I find attractive. I’ve genuinely never been more attracted to another human being, and it’s making me question my own marriage. I’m falling for her, and she’s falling in love with me.
Despite me knowing it would be stupid to abandon my perfect wife, I can’t help but be drawn to the idea of pursuing this new girl. My mind knows what’s wrong, but my heart can’t help itself.
I know I’m the worst kind of person, but I’m so emotionally compromised and conflicted. Breaking my wife’s heart would be the worst pain I could ever imagine.
Anyways, does anyone have experience in this area?

Shortly after *Final Fantasy VII* hit the gaming world in 1997, Cloud Strife’s howls of grief at the loss of his beloved companion Aerith Gainsborough were echoed by droves and droves of fans. These echoes gathered in swarms, reaching the developers in the form of petition signatures, each begging the makers of the game to allow Aerith’s resurrection. Though these prayers remained unanswered —until now—, there soon came more protests: this time, fans pleaded with the developers to consider making a remake of the original game. Both of these wishes were met with considerable derision, with large chunks of the fandom calling the requests delusional— which is why the Final Fantasy world had to prepare for another meteoric hit when the *Remake* project was finally announced in 2015. With Kitase, Nomura, Toriyama, Nojima, Uematsu and more of the original developers at the helm, along with longtime *FFVII* fan-turned-developer Hamaguchi, the *Remake* trilogy was met with great expectations. These were nevertheless surpassed, though one aspect of the trilogy’s first entry seemed to thoroughly puzzle some and enrage others. Far and wide, the resounding questions were “What are these Whisper things?”, “Why is Cloud having visions unrelated to Nibelheim and Zack?” and “Why and how in the hell did Zack survive?”
Friends, I believe the answer lies within this post. Welcome to my literary-analysis-based theory on the *Remake* trilogy’s most important and most secret plot point: Cloud’s hidden mission. I want to make this fun and suspenseful to read, so I will write my analyses in the same order and manner in which I encountered them while putting my theory together. You will be reading what initially sparked my curiosity, the path I took while researching for answers, the conclusions I made every step of the way, and only then will you read my theory, after which we’ll try and apply it to the *Remake* trilogy so far and see if it fits! I want you to experience the rollercoaster that I did when digging through SE content to bring you this post. Thank you so much for waiting for and anticipating this analysis, and I do hope you read every word to soak in every last bit of Clerith you can get. I also hope it’s really fun and touching for you (I cried at least once making this)! Let’s embark on our adventure through the compilation, other *FF* games and real-life events to find out what the *Remake* project is truly all about and anticipate the events of part 3.
N.B.: Please be aware that I have never seen this theory navigate online, so I have no idea if anyone has ever come up with a similar hypothesis. The big reveal I’m building toward might be something you’re already aware of or suspected. In that case, I hope this post doesn’t disappoint you if you’re one of the lovely people who requested it! At the very least, it will provide you with valuable literary and musical analysis, a ton of evidence you haven’t considered yet, and hopefully, entertainment too!
WARNING: Please be careful with the censored spoiler text, because I'll be referencing other *FF* games in this analysis and I don't want to ruin anything for you! Obviously, this analysis contains spoilers for the entirety of the *FFVII* compilation. Additionally, if you're not a fan of Clerith and you've stumbled upon this post, please stop here. I would hate it if something I worked on and posted made you angry, so please don't read this analysis. I have only good intentions and I just want everyone to enjoy the *FFVII* world as much as they can.
I. Groundwork: The Remake Timelines Theory
Before I take you on this ride, we must lay down the framework of the *Remake* Timelines Theory. In this section, we’ll be reviewing the general consensus of theorizers within the fandom on timeline/multiverse shenanigans, with some added specifications on my part. Please keep in mind that because the timeline mechanics are kept quite vague by the devs, there might be certain inaccuracies in my iteration of the timelines theory. Thankfully, these potential variances won’t have any effect on the legitimacy of the theory I’ll be presenting to you in this analysis.
I. a) Sephiroth’s Plan
The premise of the *Remake* trilogy is widely thought to be the result of post-OG Sephiroth attempting to succeed where he failed in OG. There are six key points we need to keep in mind to understand how this was possible.
I. a) i. Sephiroth in the Lifestream
Firstly, it’s important to remember that Sephiroth is dead and located in the Lifestream before OG even begins, and remains that way for almost all of OG's duration. He is only able to operate in the world of the living via his/Jenova's control over the living Sephiroth clones. In the OG timeline then, Sephiroth is sent to the Lifestream by Cloud twice: once before the game takes place on the night of the Nibelheim incident (pre-OG), and a second time during the final battle against Sephiroth (disk 3, chapter 3). During the long period between the Nibelheim incident and Sephiroth’s rebirth at the Northern Crater (disk 2, chapter 2), he exists in the Lifestream. After his ultimate defeat (post-OG), he returns there for good.
II. a) ii. Sephiroth Unintegrated
Secondly, because he is full of hatred and unyielding determination, Sephiroth’s spirit cannot become one with the planet. After both occasions where Cloud kills him in OG, Sephiroth retains his individual will and the memories of his lifetime, remaining a separate entity in the Lifestream. He says so himself in Nojima’s *Advent Children* prequel novel *On a Way to a Smile*:
“[Sephiroth] could sense the Lifestream trying to erode his spirit— the memories of his former experiences, thoughts and emotions. If he allowed himself be taken into the current, the being he once was would soon disseminate and disappear amongst the spirit energy cycling around the planet. [He] thought this unacceptable. The planet was to be his to rule, and to become a part of that system would be nothing short of defeat” (Lifestream Black 1).
Combined with Bugenhagen’s basic lesson on planetology (*FFVII* OG, disk 1, chapter 19), this excerpt provides interesting information on how the Lifestream normally works. Usually, when a life returns to the planet, its individuality (personality, will, consciousness, memories, etc.) is stripped away. The trappings of a soul’s former lifetime are progressively dissolved so that all that is left is the spirit itself, ready to integrate into the Lifestream. This way, soul energy can be “recycled” by the planet to animate new lifeforms in a sort of reincarnation process. The erasure of one’s memories in the Lifestream is necessary for the creation of a brand new life, poised to make its own memories: the slate must be wiped clean, so to speak. Sephiroth’s sheer hatred for and desire to dominate the planet is enough to keep him from undergoing this process.
It is also thought that Sephiroth cannot be integrated into the Lifestream because he was conceived with the use of Jenova cells in vitro. Given that so much of his consciousness and genetic makeup originate from an alien life force, it is impossible for him to become one with the planet.
Regardless of the reason, it is precisely this persisting individuality in death that allows Sephiroth to meddle in the world of the living during the post-OG events of *Advent Children*, as explained to us by post-OG Aerith in *On a Way to a Smile*:
“[Aerith] had sensed a different presence within the Lifestream cycling around the planet. It was the vehemence of a strong will, one that would never join with the planet. She knew this consciousness. It was [Sephiroth]. A merciless spirit hidden behind a beauteous wall. That spirit was now operating from within the Lifestream. [She] sensed that he was planning to exert his influence to the surface of the planet“ (Lifestream White 1).
I. a) iii. The Lifestream Beyond Time
Our third point is that the Lifestream has existed for as long as the planet, and has therefore touched every part of its history— including, of course, the events of OG. On that account, one could think of the Lifestream as atemporal. Considering this, it is possible for a spirit in the Lifestream to communicate with or even travel to the past, provided the necessary circumstances and/or abilities. For instance, the Aerith that appears in Cloud’s resolution scene in *Remake* (chapter 14) is commonly considered to be a post-OG Aerith, appearing to him from the future to try and dissuade him from falling for her. This time-defying event is made possible by the fact that post-OG Aerith’s spirit has access to the atemporal Lifestream because she's deceased. In my view, this explains why she dissolves into green light (Lifestream visual cue) at the end of [the resolution scene](https://youtu.be/ZPkqDB4guW8?si=JR1UTKl5cEFsFvfE&t=319) (5:19-5:45). This is not time travel per se, but it is a manner of communication unobstructed by the one-directionality of a linear timeline that only spirits can perform.
I. a) iv. Sephiroth Beyond Time
What we’ve covered so far amounts to our fourth point. Please familiarize yourself with the graph below before you continue reading. Refer back to the graph when you encounter **text in bold**.
The Remake Timelines Theory: FFVII OG Timeline
As we discussed in section “I. a) i.”, Sephiroth is dead and located in the Lifestream **for the duration of the green arrow and beyond point D**: in the context of the OG timeline, he can only ever be considered “alive” during the **period highlighted in purple**. In section “I. a) ii.”, we asserted that Sephiroth retained his individual will in the Lifestream, enabling him to exert his influence on the world of the living by manipulating his clones on the surface. In section “I. a) iii.”, we covered the atemporal nature of the Lifestream, which allows post-OG Aerith’s spirit to communicate with her past, living self thanks to her Cetra abilities. Now, I will explain to you how Sephiroth was able to do virtually the same thing, albeit his lack of Cetra blood.
To the characters of the story and a fully immersed first-time player of OG, the timeline above was not always an established series of events: when they first started playing *FFVII* OG, the player began at **point B**, with nothing existing beyond it. It is only as the player moved Cloud forward that the **black**, **arrowed timeline** was drawn, accumulating lived events (or **points**) in Cloud’s wake. The picture you see above is only available to Cloud and to the player with hindsight. All this to state the obvious: at **point B**, Cloud could not know what would occur, say, at **point C**.
During the **period highlighted in purple**, Sephiroth was “alive” again, accumulating new memories on the surface of the planet and adding them to his consciousness. When he entered the Lifestream for the second time at **point D**, he brought these memories with him. Simply put, after returning to the Lifestream at **point D**, Sephiroth remembers what happened during the **period highlighted in purple**. However, given that the Lifestream exists beyond time, upon Sephiroth’s consciousness’ return to the Lifestream at **point D**, his newly acquired memories were also made available to him at all points on the **green, double-arrowed line**— including **point A**, before the OG timeline even begins at **point B**. So while it is true that Cloud cannot know what will occur at **point C** if he is only at **point B**, Sephiroth indeed knows what will occur during the **period highlighted in purple** when he is only at **point A**. While a living, pre-OG Aerith would be able to receive post-OG Aerith’s spirit’s knowledge through the Lifestream thanks to her Cetra powers, Sephiroth has no need for this ability. The fact that he resides in the Lifestream for practically the entire ***FFVII*** **OG timeline** renders the limitations of time irrelevant: as far as the **timeline** is concerned, Sephiroth exists beyond time itself.
In summary, after **point D** was first encountered in OG, pre-OG Sephiroth (in the Lifestream) is made aware of his eventual defeat, and begins plotting an alternate path to victory. This time, with the benefit of hindsight, he will do things differently: we experience his "second” attempt at *FFVII* as the *Remake* trilogy.
I. a) v. Sephiroth Against Fate
Of course, the Whispers stand squarely in Sephiroth’s way. This leads us to our fifth point, which *Remake Ultimania* describes better than I ever could:
“According to Red XIII, who gained knowledge through his contact with Aerith, ‘The Whispers are drawn to those who attempt to alter destiny’s course and ensure they do not’ […]. It would appear that what the Whispers deem to be ‘fate’ is the original story of Final Fantasy VII” (section 08 “Secrets”, “Newly Arisen Mysteries”, “What Is the Goal of the Elusive Whispers?”, page 733).
OG’s plot line is the fated timeline, and the Whispers are tasked with its preservation. They prevent alternative paths from even beginning to branch out from the OG timeline, which poses a problem for Sephiroth: he cannot win *FFVII* if his destiny is to lose it.
I. a) vi. Sephiroth and the Multiverse
Consequently, our sixth point is that Sephiroth must dismantle the mechanisms of fate before he can even try to accomplish his dreams of godhood.
As Sephiroth explains in chapter 14 of *Rebirth*, “the planet encompasses \[an ever unfolding\] multitude of worlds”, and these“\[new worlds are born\] when the boundaries of fate are breached.” Since the Whispers uphold the “boundaries of fate”, a world in which Sephiroth’s evil plans succeed can only emerge after the Whispers have been defeated. Otherwise, destiny will continue to protect the OG plot line by preventing any significant deviations. Consequently, before the party vanquishes fate, the *Remake* timeline and the OG timeline are one and the same: before chapter 18, *Remake* Barret is OG Barret, *Remake* Tifa is OG Tifa, *Remake* Hojo is OG Hojo, etc. After the defeat of Destiny, the OG timeline is no longer protected by fate: there are now an infinite number of timelines or worlds, including those we see glimpses of in *Rebirth*: *Remake* Barret is no longer necessarily OG Barret, *Remake* Tifa is no longer necessarily OG Tifa, *Remake* Hojo is no longer necessarily OG Hojo, etc. Perhaps this is why Aerith gives the party the following warning at destiny’s crossroads in *Remake*:
“[This] is the wall of destiny. If we go through it… if we go beyond it… then all of us will change, too” (FFVII Remake Material Ultimania Plus, VA script notes, “Destiny’s Crossroads”).
I. a) vii. Sephiroth’s Plan
Now that these six points have been elucidated, we can compose a solid hypothesis on how Sephiroth plots to win *FFVII*.
After gaining knowledge of his eventual demise (disk 3, chapter 3), pre-OG Sephiroth began thinking of what he must do in *Remake* from the Lifestream. First, Sephiroth must antagonize the Whispers in the initial stages of the OG timeline. He accomplishes this by commanding his clones to commit acts that drastically violate the fated timeline, engendering plot-line deviations that the Whispers must course-correct. The most extreme example transpires in *Remake*’s chapter 17 when the Sephiroth clone in President Shinra’s office kills Barret, forcing the Whispers to restore the fated plot line by coming forth and reviving him. The Whispers react to Sephiroth’s prodding by rushing in to protect fate, their efforts culminating in the protective wall of destiny that surrounds Midgar in chapter 18.
Secondly, after he’s created an opportunity for a battle against the Whispers, Sephiroth must convince the party to seize it and beat fate for him. After all, a mere Sephiroth clone is probably no match for Destiny. This second step is accomplished in *Remake*’s chapter 18 when Sephiroth successfully tempts Cloud to breach the boundaries of fate. Now that destiny is no longer a limitation, worlds deviating from the OG timeline can finally emerge; Sephiroth has a chance at victory.
The steps Sephiroth plans to take going forward are unknowable at this stage, but we do get more hints in *Rebirth*’s chapter 13. At the Temple of the Ancients, Sephiroth reveals a part of his plot:
“Sephiroth: My fragmented mother, these errant worlds... All shall be one again.
Aerith: The ‘Reunion’…!”
It seems Sephiroth eventually plans to merge the worlds created by destiny’s defeat in *Remake*’s chapter 18. My guess is he hopes to achieve godhood in part 3 and consolidate all diverting worlds into a single timeline protected by destiny once more— only this time, his victory will replace the ending of OG as the destined outcome. If he succeeds, Sephiroth’s Black Whispers will likely replace the planet’s Whispers as the arbiters of his desired fate.
I. b) Aerith’s Intervention
But Aerith can’t let this slide unchallenged!
We know that before chapter 18 of *Remake*, while the OG plot-line is still protected by fate, Aerith has knowledge of its future. This is insinuated by certain slips of the tongue: for instance, when Aerith reveals she knows Cloud is a mercenary upon meeting him for the second time in chapter 8, just like she knows Tifa will ask her to retrieve Marlene at Seventh Heaven in chapter 12. In the run-up to *Remake*, post-OG Aerith's spirit likely sensed Sephiroth planning his second try at *FFVII* in the Lifestream. She’s been able to anticipate Sephiroth’s plotting in the Lifestream before, namely in the context of *Advent Children*:
“[Aerith] had sensed a different presence within the Lifestream cycling around the planet […]. It was [Sephiroth] […]. That spirit was now operating from within the Lifestream. [She] sensed that he was planning to exert his influence [on] the surface of the planet” (On a Way to a Smile, Lifestream White 1).
If you’re wondering how Aerith was able to maintain her individuality in the Lifestream like Sephiroth, On a Way to a Smile provides the following explanation:
“[Aerith] was an Ancient, which explained how she was able to maintain her individuality even within the Lifestream. If she so wished she could become part of the planet at any time, but [she] thought it too early for that just yet” (Lifestream White 1).
It is thought that, as a countermeasure to Sephiroth's scheming, post-OG Aerith’s spirit used the atemporal nature of the Lifestream to inform her past, living self (pre-OG Aerith) of this new threat to the planet. Because the Cetra can commune with spirits, pre-OG Aerith would have been able to receive post-OG Aerith’s message from the Lifestream without a problem. Essentially, pre-OG Aerith received post-OG Aerith’s memories of the fated OG timeline. As a consequence, pre-OG Aerith embarks on the OG timeline with knowledge of the fated future that demands she give her life: the player experiences this version of her in *Remake*.
Be that as it may, it’s unclear how much *Remake* Aerith is aware of. You would think she’d be completely opposed to defeating, destiny since it protects the planet, but Aerith shows ambivalence toward the idea instead. Had she gotten a clear message from her future self that she must keep fate intact, she would not have allowed the party to enter the battle against fate in chapter 18. She doesn’t seem to know what the Whispers are the first time she encounters them either. Regardless, what’s important is that the Aerith seen in *Remake* is the result of pre-OG Aerith receiving knowledge from post-OG Aerith via the Lifestream.
I. c) Ambiguity: Memory Transfer or Time-Travel?
There remains an ambiguity pertaining to the Aerith we see in *Remake* and the question of time travel. What I’ve described to you in section “I. b)” is post-OG Aerith's spirit transferring her memories to her past self through the Lifestream. However, it’s possible that post-OG Aerith’s consciousness used the atemporal nature of the Lifestream to inhabit her living OG body instead, effectively time-traveling. There is no evidence to outright refute either explanation, since the gaps in Aerith’s memories of the OG plot-line in *Remake* can be explained in both cases. For instance, in a memory transfer scenario, it’s possible that post-OG Aerith only communicated the most essential information to pre-OG Aerith. On the other hand, in a time-travel scenario, one could interpret the following quotes as proof that the Whispers are progressively erasing Aerith’s memories of OG as *Remake* advances:
“Aerith: Every time the Whispers touch me, a piece of me falls away” (FFVII Remake Material Ultimania Plus, VA script notes, “Aerith Speaks”)
“At any rate, Aerith is perplexed at how, like a flower being scattered, something inside is being taken away by the Whispers and lost to her” (Toriyama in FFVII Remake Material Ultimania Plus, VA script notes, “Aerith Speaks”, “Scenario Staff Q&A - Answered by Motomu Toriyama”).
This ambiguity is completely irrelevant to Sephiroth’s situation in *Remake*, as we established in section “I. a) iv.”.
The specifics don’t matter nearly as much as I’m impressing upon you by explaining all these little alternatives. Simply keep in mind that: regardless of why, the Sephiroth and Aerith we see in *Remake* know the events of the OG game because they have acquired this knowledge from the future, and the events of *Remake* occur squarely within the OG timeline until the Whispers are defeated in chapter 18.
So there! That’s my iteration of the *Remake* Timelines Theory! I hope I’ve made it clear in your mind, or at least clearer. Now that we’ve established the widely theorized premise of the *Remake* trilogy, we can get into our theory on its hidden premise.
II. My Initial Curiosity
My theory first burgeoned upon going through *Remake* for the second time. I noticed something strange going on with Cloud, something that could not be explained by the *Remake* Timelines Theory. Key moments in *Remake* Cloud’s experience of the OG timeline (aka, everything before chapter 18) stuck out to me as strange and mysterious, and certain inexplicable audiovisual cues struck me as hugely significant. It was upon watching the tear fall from Cloud’s eye during my second go at chapter 8 that I knew I had to look into this.
At the very end of *Remake*’s chapter 8, Cloud watches Aerith walk away from him, humming happily into the night air as she sets off to lead the way to Sector 7. According to the VA script notes, “his heart skips a beat” and watching her walk away provokes a sudden “anxiety” within him. Triggered by the familiarity of the sight, a strange sensation overcomes Cloud:
“[There’s a] close-up shot of Cloud’s fingertips (they’re tingling). He presses them to his temples (his eyes are burning). A trickle of tears quickly rolls down from the eye hidden behind his hand” (FFVII Remake Material Ultimania Plus, VA script notes, “A Midnight Ambush”).
If you’re clever, you’ll recognize these lines as a reference to the speech Cloud makes in OG following Aerith’s death at the City of the Ancients (“My fingers are tingling. My mouth is dry. My eyes are burning!”) (disk 1, chapter 28). In this small moment in chapter 8 of *Remake*, Cloud experiences a flash of the profound grief he is destined to feel upon Aerith’s fated death.
Many players immediately recognized the composition of this scene: the blue-greenish air, the straight path Aerith heads down, the sight of her walking away itself… this moment closely resembles Cloud’s Sleeping Forest dream of Aerith in OG, wherein Cloud and Aerith’s very last words are exchanged (disk 1, chapter 25). Toriyama, codirector of the *Remake* project, comments on this scene thusly:
“It’s possible these similarities […] cause a memory of the future to be called forth in Cloud” (FFVII Remake Material Ultimania Plus, VA script notes, “A Midnight Ambush”).
The language used by Toriyama here is strange in both the English translation and the Japanese original: the term “memory of the future” makes no sense. One cannot remember things they haven’t already experienced, so why did Toriyama use the word “memory” to describe a "future" event? Couldn’t he have simply said that *Remake* Cloud experiences “visions of the future” rather than “\[memories\]”?
Cloud experiences a few moments like these throughout the game. These pseudo-premonitions are just as markedly exclusive to *Remake* as the Whispers are. I did not want to dismiss them as a foreshadowing device the devs included just to elicit emotional reactions from OG players; I felt they were more important. And thus began my digging! My mission was initially to figure out what these “\[memories of the future\]” (MOTFs) could signify… I had no clue it would turn into what I’m writing right now.
II. a) Each MOTF and Its Context
I began by finding every one of Cloud’s MOTFs so I could better understand them.
MOTF 1 occurs in chapter 2 on Sector 8’s Loveless Street, when Cloud sees Aerith struggling against the Whispers. The VA script notes reveal that even though this is only his first time seeing her, Cloud recognizes Aerith’s face:
“Recognizing Aerith’s face causes Cloud to experience [a hallucination]. Sephiroth is suddenly standing between him and Aerith” (FFVII Remake Material Ultimania Plus, VA script notes, “Encountering Aerith”).
Sephiroth then taunts Cloud with words that, according to the script notes, “\[live\] inside of Cloud's heart”*:* “You can’t protect anyone. Not even yourself”. Cloud should not recognize Aerith’s face at this point in the OG timeline, nor should he associate it with not being able to protect people.
MOTF 2 occurs in chapter 3, at the plaza in front of the Sector 7 slums support pillar. Cloud experiences a MOTF of the plate falling, which is fated to occur at a much later point in chapter 12. The Whispers float near him, “watching Cloud alertly as he sees a vision of the future” (*FFVII Remake Ultimania*, section 08 “Secrets”, “Newly Arisen Mysteries”, “What Is the Goal of the Elusive Whispers?”, page 733).
MOTF 3 occurs in Aerith’s church at the start of chapter 8, when Aerith mentions that her mother’s materia is “not good for anything at all”. Triggered by the mention and sight of the White Materia, Cloud’s fourth MOTF takes the form of a vision: he sees quick flashes of the materia falling into the lake of the Forgotten Capital and Aerith holding her hands together in prayer. These are evidently visions of her death in OG (disk 1, chapter 28).
MOTF 4 is the one we first discussed, occurring at the very end of chapter 8 as Cloud watches Aerith walk away from him to lead the way toward Sector 7.
MOTF 5 occurs in chapter 13 shortly after the Sector 7 plate has fallen on the slums. Cloud tells Barret that Marlene is safe at Aerith’s house, and they begin heading there. As Cloud thinks about Aerith, the VA script notes describe the very next moment as follows:
“Cloud: Tifa, you know anything about the Ancients?
Tifa: I’ve heard of them before, but…
Barret walks on ahead, showing little interest in the topic.
Barret: Read a book on planetology and they’re sure to come up. They’re a tribe that cultivated the planet a real long time ago. Used to talk to it. That sort of stuff.
Cloud: That must be why the Turks were after her.
[Psychic] interference starts up.
[Cloud has a] flashback of Sephiroth from five years ago, after learning of his ancestry at Shinra Manor […].
Sephiroth [(in flashback, voice tinged with madness)]: Within my veins flows the blood of the Ancients. I am the rightful heir to this planet!
The flashback ends and Cloud looks lost in thought. The interference starts up once more. Cloud makes agonized sounds. When he opens his eyes, Sephiroth is actually standing before him.
Sephiroth: You failed again— failed to protect [her]*.
Cloud is startled. He shrinks back. Tifa watches what’s happening. The other two can’t see Sephiroth. All they see is Cloud acting frightened.
Sephiroth: But loss will make you strong. […] Isn’t that what you want?
With that, Sephiroth departs.”
*Sephiroth does not use a gendered pronoun here, because the grammatical structure of the original Japanese sentence doesn’t necessitate it. I've seen some debate as to whether the proper translation is “her” (Aerith, who’s just been kidnapped), or “them” (Jessie, Biggs or Wedge, who have seemingly just died). I believe Sephiroth was referring to Aerith for a few reasons. First, Cloud’s hallucinations of Sephiroth always appear as a response to whatever he is perceiving or thinking about at the moment. At this point in the scene, Cloud has been thinking and talking about Aerith for some time, and not about Jessie, Biggs or Wedge. The Sephiroth hallucination must therefore be referring to “her” rather than to “them”. Secondly, Cloud was never tasked with “[protecting]” Avalanche, but he was in fact tasked with “[protecting]” Aerith as her bodyguard back in chapter 8: it makes far more sense for Sephiroth to be referring to Aerith when he speaks about someone Cloud “failed to protect”. Finally, FFVII Remake Ultimania describes this piece of dialogue as “[Sephiroth aiming] these profound words at Cloud, who not only failed to prevent the tragedy in the Sector 7 slums but allowed Aerith to be abducted” (Sephiroth’s profile in section 01 “Character & World”, “Impressive Words”, page 29): the specific mention of Aerith here seals my decision to translate the line with the pronoun “her”.
Contrary to Sephiroth’s words, this is the first time in *Remake* that Cloud “\[fails\] to protect \[Aerith\]”, and he hasn’t “\[lost\]” her either— not yet, at least. This fifth MOTF must then be similar to MOTF 1, in that Sephiroth is referring to Cloud’s guilt surrounding Aerith’s death in OG.
MOTF 6 occurs in chapter 17, in Aerith and Ifalna’s old room at Shinra HQ. The Whispers swarm Aerith as she tells the party earnestly that she wants to do everything in her power to help her friends and the planet: according to the script notes, it is at this very moment that, “for some reason, Cloud feels his chest constrict tightly” (*FFVII Remake Material Ultimania Plus*, VA script notes, “Aerith Speaks”). In the corresponding cutscene, this unpleasant physiological reaction to Aerith’s words makes Cloud glance down at his chest with a confounded frown. This physical response to her speech about wanting to fulfill her duty to the planet implies that Cloud somehow knows deep down that saving the world will cost Aerith her life.
At this point, I noticed that five out of the six MOTFs Cloud experiences in *Remake* are triggered by and/or revolve around Aerith specifically, the one exception being a MOTF of the Sector 7 plate fall. One could actually argue that this MOTF revolves around Aerith too, considering the plate fall marks the first time Aerith is taken away from Cloud since reuniting with her in the Sector 5 slums church. This is more than plausible, as MOTF 5 proves that in the wake of the Sector 7 plate fall, Cloud’s main concern is Aerith (see section “II. a)”). How fitting is it, then, that the merc of few words’ longest uninterrupted piece of dialogue in all of *Remake* is:
“We found an underground Shinra lab where they've done human testing. This wasn't the first time and it won't be the last. I know these people, and I know they're never gonna let Aerith go. She's the last living Ancient on the planet. Think about what that means to Shinra's scientists. Especially to that son of a bitch Hojo. We're all just numbers and meat to him—“ (Remake, chapter 13).
Cloud would’ve gone on too, had Elmyra and Tifa not stopped him.
At this point in my research, my questions were only stacking up. What are these MOTFs? Why is Cloud the only one experiencing them? Why do all of them implicate Aerith? What did the devs hope to accomplish with their inclusion in the game? What do they mean for *Remake*’s story? But most importantly:
II. b) What Does Cloud Know?
The first assertion we have to make is simple, yet essential: the only reason Cloud would experience MOTFs is that whatever’s triggered them is significant to him in one way or another. Some part of him must recognize his triggers for them to be triggers at all. It’s clear he doesn’t consciously understand the meaning of his MOTF triggers, just like his Jenova triggers: for example, Cloud doesn’t know why Zack’s name causes him to experience psychic interference, but it sure does. We as players know Cloud’s MOTFs are hinting at Aerith’s fated death because of our awareness of OG, but as a character navigating the OG timeline, *Remake* Cloud shouldn't even be unconsciously aware of Aerith’s eventual death in the slightest! Whatever the nature of the MOTFs, it’s essential to understand that if Cloud “\[recognizes\]” Aerith’s face the first time he sees her, it must mean some part of him knows Aerith’s face in the first place. If this recognition triggers a hallucination of Sephiroth telling Cloud he “can’t protect anyone”, it must mean some part of him knows he was once unable to protect Aerith. The same goes for every other MOTF: subconsciously, *Remake* Cloud somehow has memories of the OG timeline. Most interestingly, it looks like he either only has OG memories related to Aerith, or like his OG memories of Aerith are simply the only ones prominent enough to trigger his MOTFs. Why and how does *Remake* Cloud have memories of OG, and why are they so focused on Aerith in particular? What does he know?
When examining a situation with no explanation, it’s wise to examine similar situations that have already been explained. Maybe the mystery of *Remake* Cloud’s MOTFs will become more approachable if we consider the cases of the only other *Remake* characters who seem to know the future: Aerith and Sephiroth. *Remake* Sephiroth knows the future of the OG timeline because his consciousness exists beyond time in the Lifestream, while *Remake* Aerith likely obtained her knowledge of the future from post-OG Aerith’s spirit via the Lifestream. But what about Cloud? Where does his weaker, fragmented knowledge come from?

I've honestly given up on the whole idea of dating in the 21st century. As an asexual it's just too difficult to meet anyone who's goals ideas, boundaries, love languages aren't so confusing…well more so, someone who isn't afraid to speak up about that all that means to them. Social media and fear mongerors and incels have made to wear that if you're are overexulding with confidence, and grace, or at least funny over a screen it's not worth the time of day. I'm sure it may be easier to meet someone the old fashion way. In the community, ask them to hang out. But as a poet, the number one rule is to not date another poet because they will make you a poem. Even if I wasn't, it's not like I can exactly walk up to someone and offer to buy them a drink like they used to do. But once you've been drugged in a bar, even just once, that's not really the smartest option. Anywho idl. Just thought it was funny and you be fine with hearing my deranged thoughts because eventually there's going to come a time I'm just gonna disappear. I think about it every night because the way I see it I'm just delaying the inevitable.

Hey everyone, I'm back for yet another daily guide! Sorry I didn't get around to one the last couple of days - I tried on the 14th and oh boy was that hard. I gave up half way through because I ran out of time! Thankfully this one is much better because I still had my sanity by the end!
As we've previously found, reloading the browser makes changes to the rng, so now I have notes when the browser has been reloaded so you can reload it too :). As per usual, sorry about the reloads - it'd be much easier if there weren't any, but I had some issues and instead of being able to restart I had to reload. Also there's at least one place where I've said to quit to menu and continue - I don't think this is the same as a reload, so maybe don't reload and just quit to menu instead?
Also, as we've found out, it looks like different browsers have different RNG. I use firefox when making my guides, but if you use chrome, there may be some small differences here and there. If you do use chrome and have some differences, let me know - I'm trying to get some evidence so I can figure out what the changes are and see if there's a way to nullify them so we can have a single guide for any type of browser :)
I haven't had a chance to fully test this yet, but I've got a test going in the background. Until then, there might be some reloads or whatnot that I've missed
ALSO ALSO: we're still trying to figure out exactly what the relationship with reloading is. For now, if when you need to reload, reload once you've chosen your pokemon for the battle, as, on average, that's when I would reload. I don't know if it'll make a difference, but it can't hurt to try and see what happens :)
As per the others, I'm still learning about all this, so sorry for any mistakes I've made - I probably missed at least a couple of reloads, but hopefully I got the majority of them.
A couple of things to note: There's a DNA splicer on wave 38 rewards. I've never used it before and asked the discord who would be some good options to use it for, and people were saying it probably wasn't worth it. If you want to fuse some things together though, go ahead! I will say that if you do, I got offered a Garchompite on wave 41, so if you want to fuse two pokemon together, make sure to do it with garchomp first. That said, taking the DNA splicer may change your rng so you may not get the garchompite, but I'll leave that as an experiment for you to test :)
Lastly, it seems like there's a bug in the game - I've heard it's best to change the "EXP Party Display" to "Normal" as if it's not on normal, sometimes moves you've learnt will disappear when you exit to the menu.

Pokemon	Max stat (31)	Wave
Camerupt	HP	21
Scovillain	Sp. Atk	24
Orthworm	Sp. Def	38

I think I got all the unique mons for the candies except one (silly brambleghast didn't want to be caught?), but I might have missed some.
With the below steps, if I haven't said to take a move when one is offered, that means to not learn it. For the table, there's two columns relating to moves - one for moves to take and one for moves to replace. For example, if the "Move(s) to take..." column has Headbutt and the corresponding row in the "... by replacing move(s)" column has Wrap, it would mean you need to replace wrap with headbutt at this stage when it's offered - and if during that stage a different move is offered, don't take it if it's not on the list. Also if there's multiple moves to be offered, the moves offered in the table are listed from top to bottom of the order you get them - so if you have something like the below, it means that Crunch will be offered before Headbutt will, which will be before Firethrower (and their associated replacements):

Move(s) to take...	... by replacing move(s)
Crunch	Vine whip
Heatbutt	Astonish
Firethrower	Water gun

Also, if there are multiple waves back to back that have the same pokemon (or are within a few waves of each other), I'll label them as 1 and 2 - i.e. Linoone 1 and Linoone 2. This is to help avoid confusion if you're looking back and forth and trying to figure out where you're at
Lastly, with the steps below, if I don't say to switch out to a pokemon, that means you use the pokemon that's come out automatically.
With that, here's the guide:

Stage 1

Wave 1: Swablu
Steps:

1. Ancient power
2. Pokeball
3. Transfer charcoal from glimmet to raboot

Move(s) to take	... by replacing move(s)
None	None

Reward: Pokeballs
Wave 2: Fletchinder
Steps:

1. Confuse ray
2. Pokeball

Move(s) to take	... by replacing move(s)
Venoshock	Rain dance

Reward: Potion swablu
Wave 3: Swablu
Steps:

1. Ancient power

Move(s) to take	... by replacing move(s)
None	None

Reward: Super potion swablu
Wave 4: Pidgeotto and Spoink
NOTE FOR THIS WAVE: So when I started this fight, Spoink got poisoned from toxic spikes somehow (though I can't remember how?) It felt weird, so I exited to the main menu and continued, and it removed the spikes and the poison, so you should too.
Steps:

1. Switch glimmet with fletch and clauncher with raboot
2. Flame charge x 2 on pidgeotto
3. Pokeball

Move(s) to take	... by replacing move(s)
Acrobatics	Growl

Reward: Ultraball
Wave 5: Trainer Joren and Myra
Steps:

1. Acrobatics and flame charge seviper
2. Flame charge x 2 mawile

Move(s) to take	... by replacing move(s)
None	None

Reward: Mega bracelet
Wave 6: Pidgeotto
Steps:

1. Flame charge
2. Acrobatics

Move(s) to take	... by replacing move(s)
None	None

Reward: Potion fletch
Wave 7: Swablu
Steps:

1. Acrobatics x 2

Move(s) to take	... by replacing move(s)
None	None

Reward: Pokeballs
Wave 8: Staravia
Steps:

1. Switch to clauncher
2. Pokeball x 2

Move(s) to take	... by replacing move(s)
None	None

Reward: Pokeballs
Wave 9: Geodude
Steps:

1. Aqua jet
2. Pokeball

Move(s) to take	... by replacing move(s)
None	None

Reward: Potion fletch
Wave 10: Shieldon
Steps:

1. Switch to raboot
2. Double kick
3. Pokeball x 3

Move(s) to take	... by replacing move(s)
None	None

Reward: Stage end

Stage 2

Wave 11: Swablu
Steps:

1. Switch to fletch
2. Acrobatics x 2

Move(s) to take	... by replacing move(s)
None	None

Reward: Rare candy fletch
Wave 12: Goomy
Steps:

1. Switch to swablu
2. Dragon breath x 2
3. Pokeball

Move(s) to take	... by replacing move(s)
None	None

Reward: Potion swablu
Wave 13: Goomy and Goomy
Steps:

1. Switch claunder with fletch
2. Dragon breath and acrobatics left (L31) goomy
3. Dragon break and acrobatics

Move(s) to take	... by replacing move(s)
None	None

Reward: X Atk
Wave 14: Gabite
Steps:

1. Dragon breath x 3
2. Pokeball
3. Ultra ball
4. Replace swablu with gabite

Move(s) to take	... by replacing move(s)
Headbutt	Baton pass

Reward: Potion gabite
Wave 15: Trainer Trisha
Steps:

1. Acrobatics
2. Switch to glimmet
3. Spikes (glimmet dies here)
4. Bring out fletch
5. Acrobatics
6. Switch to raboot
7. Heatbutt x 2

Move(s) to take	... by replacing move(s)
Water pulse	Snore
Rest	Splash
Power gem	Growl

Reward: Potion talonflame
Wave 16: Jangmo-o
Steps:

1. Pokeball x 2

Move(s) to take	... by replacing move(s)
Slash	Sand attack

Reward: Potion talonflame
Wave 17: Goomy
NOTE FOR THIS WAVE: Exit to menu to remove spikes
Steps:

1. Switch to talonflame
2. Acrobatics

Move(s) to take	... by replacing move(s)
None	None

Reward: Reroll, Super potion gabite
Wave 18: Drampa
Steps:

1. Pokeball

Move(s) to take	... by replacing move(s)
Pyro ball	Flame charge

Reward: Reviver seed talonflame
Wave 19: Goomy and Drampa
Steps:

1. Acrobatics goomy and double kick drampa
2. Talonflame dies and revives
3. Acrobatics and double kick drampa

Move(s) to take	... by replacing move(s)
Aerial ace	Flail

Reward: Great balls (ps: you might be wondering why I would possibly choose great balls over the revive I so desperately need. Well, I was too excited to get the revive I accidentally went too far over and picked up the great balls :( )
Wave 20: Trainer Drayden
Steps:

1. Switch to gabite
2. Dragon breath x 2
3. Switch to grumpig
4. Rest
5. Psybeam (grumpig dies here)
6. Bring out talonflame
7. Acrobatics x 3 (talon dies here)
8. Bring out gabite
9. Dragon breath (gabite dies here)
10. Bring out clauncher
11. Smack down
12. Rest (claunder dies here)
13. Bring out cinder
14. Attact
15. Headbutt x 3

Move(s) to take	... by replacing move(s)
None	None

Reward: Stage end (sheesh, what a fight)

Stage 3

Wave 21: Camerupt
NOTE FOR THIS WAVE: This camerupt has max (31) HP stat
Steps:

1. Switch to clauncher
2. Pokeball x 2

Move(s) to take	... by replacing move(s)
Snore	Psych up

Reward: EXP All
Wave 22: Sinistcha
Steps:

1. Switch to glimmet
2. Venoshock x 2
3. Pokeball
4. Replace grumping with sinistcha

Move(s) to take	... by replacing move(s)
Rock slide	Confuse Ray

Reward: Potion glimmet
Wave 23: Sandslash and Dugtrio
Steps:

1. Switch glimmet with claw and cinder with talonflame
2. Aqua jet sandslash and acrobatics dugtrio
3. Pokeball

Move(s) to take	... by replacing move(s)
Mortal spin	Rock slide

Reward: Ultraball
Wave 24: Scovillain
NOTE FOR THIS WAVE: I reloaded my browser here; make sure to reload during the fight once it's started, and not too late
NOTE FOR THIS WAVE: This scovillain has max (31) Sp. Atk stat
Steps:

1. Switch to cinder
2. Headbutt
3. Pokeball x 2
4. Ultra ball

Move(s) to take	... by replacing move(s)
None	None

Reward: Super potion cinder
Wave 25: Trainer Yvette
Steps:

1. Pyro ball x 2
2. Double kick
3. Switch to talonflame
4. Acrobatics
5. Switch to glimmora
6. Mortal spin
7. Venoshock x 2

Move(s) to take	... by replacing move(s)
Dragon claw	Slash
Power gem	Ancient power
Aura sphere	Rest
Stength sap	Matcha gotcha

Reward: Potion cinder
Wave 26: Mudsdale 1
NOTE FOR THIS WAVE: I exited to menu here so the spikes disappeared
Steps:

1. Switch to sinistcha
2. Mega drain x 3 (this kills mudsdale, but we get another one on W29)

Move(s) to take	... by replacing move(s)
None	None

Reward: Potion Sinistcha
Wave 27: Scovillain
Steps:

1. Switch to talonflame
2. Aerial ace x 2

Move(s) to take	... by replacing move(s)
None	None

Reward: Hyper potion Sinistcha
Wave 28: Donphan
Steps:

1. Great ball

Move(s) to take	... by replacing move(s)
None	None

Reward: Pokeballs
Wave 29: Mudsdale 2
Steps:

1. Switch to sinistcha
2. Mega drain x 2
3. Pokeball x 2

Move(s) to take	... by replacing move(s)
Crunch	Bite

Reward: Great balls
Wave 30: Trainer Clay
NOTE FOR THIS WAVE: I reloaded my browser here; make sure to reload during the fight once it's started, and not too late
Steps:

1. Strength sap x 3
2. Mega drain x 4
3. Switch to claw (claw dies here)
4. Bring out garchomp
5. Bulldoze x 2
6. Crunch x 3
7. Bulldoze x 2

Move(s) to take	... by replacing move(s)
Shadow ball	Hex

Reward: Stage end

Stage 4

Wave 31: Drapion
Steps:

1. Pokeball
2. Bulldoze
3. Great ball

Move(s) to take	... by replacing move(s)
Bounce	Aqua jet

Reward: Pokeballs
Wave 32: Sandslash
Steps:

1. Switch to claw
2. Water pulse

Move(s) to take	... by replacing move(s)
None	None

Reward: Pokeballs
Wave 33: Rabsca
Steps:

1. Switch to talonflame
2. Pokeball

Move(s) to take	... by replacing move(s)
None	None

Reward: Dire hit
Wave 34: Sandslash and Brambleghast
NOTE FOR THIS WAVE: Sorry, I couldn't find a way to catch brambleghast no matter what I tried
Steps:

1. Switch cinder with claw
2. Aerial ace bramble and water pulse sandslash (this kills them)

Move(s) to take	... by replacing move(s)
Steel wing	Aerial ace

Reward: Super potion claw
Wave 35: Trainer Sonia
Steps:

1. Switch to garchomp
2. Crunch x 2
3. Bulldoze x 2

Move(s) to take	... by replacing move(s)
None	None

Reward: Rarer candy
Wave 36: Orthworm 1
NOTE FOR THIS WAVE: Couldn't catch it, but we get one one W38
Steps:

1. Switch to cinder
2. Pyro ball (this kills it)

Move(s) to take	... by replacing move(s)
None	None

Reward: Potion garchomp
Wave 37: Brambleghast
NOTE FOR THIS WAVE: Brambleghasts do NOT want to be caught today - sorry
Steps:

1. Pyro ball (this kills it)

Move(s) to take	... by replacing move(s)
None	None

Reward: Dire hit
Wave 38: Orthworm 2
NOTE FOR THIS WAVE: This orthworm has max (31) Def
Steps:

1. Double kick
2. Headbutt
3. Switch to talon
4. Ember
5. Ultra ball

Move(s) to take	... by replacing move(s)
None	None

Reward: Potion garchomp - note: there IS a DNA splicer here, but I haven't used it before. I asked around and people in the discord said it might not necessarily be worth it for these guys, but if you want to try for yourself, go ahead! It may change the RNG as discussed above, but it could be pretty fun!
Wave 39: Rabsca
Steps:

1. Acrobatics

Move(s) to take	... by replacing move(s)
None	None

Reward: Super potion garchomp
Wave 40: Trainer Gordie
Steps:

1. Switch to sinistcha
2. Switch to claw
3. Water pulse
4. Aura sphere x 2
5. Water pulse
6. Aura sphere x 2 (claw dies)
7. Bring out sinistcha
8. Mega drain

Move(s) to take	... by replacing move(s)
None	None

Reward: Stage end

Stage 5

Wave 41: Xatu
NOTE FOR THIS WAVE: I reloaded my browser here; make sure to reload during the fight once it's started, and not too late
NOTE FOR THIS WAVE: This one is killed but we catch another one on W48
Steps:

1. Shadow ball (this kills xatu, but we get one on W48)

Move(s) to take	... by replacing move(s)
None	None

Reward: Garchompite on garchomp
Wave 42: Alakazam 1
Steps:

1. Ultra ball

Move(s) to take	... by replacing move(s)
None	None

Reward: Reroll, Super potion sinistcha
Wave 43: Sigilyph
NOTE FOR THIS WAVE: I reloaded my browser here; make sure to reload during the fight once it's started, and not too late
Steps:

1. Switch to garchomp
2. Pokeball
3. Great ball

Move(s) to take	... by replacing move(s)
None	None

Reward: Enigma berry garchomp
Wave 44: Alakazam 2
Steps:

1. Crunch

Move(s) to take	... by replacing move(s)
None	None

Reward: PP Max garchomp's bulldoze
Wave 45: Trainer Walter and Janie
Steps:

1. Bulldoze and swap out claw with talonflame
2. Bulldoze and acrobatics

Move(s) to take	... by replacing move(s)
None	None

Reward: Reroll x 2, X Sp. Atk
Wave 46: Claydol 1
NOTE FOR THIS WAVE: This guy just self destructs ASAP, but we do catch another one next wave
Steps:

1. Switch to sinistra
2. Pokeball (claydol self destructs and dies)

Move(s) to take	... by replacing move(s)
None	None

Reward: Ganlon berry garchomp
Wave 47: Claydol 2
Steps:

1. Mega drain
2. Pokeball

Move(s) to take	... by replacing move(s)
None	None

Reward: X Speed
Wave 48: Xatu
Steps:

1. Pokeball
2. Ultra ball

Move(s) to take	... by replacing move(s)
None	None

Reward: PP Up cinder's double pyro ball
Wave 49: Grumpig
Steps:

1. Mega drain
2. Ultra ball

Move(s) to take	... by replacing move(s)
None	None

Reward: X Speed
Wave 50: Dialga
NOTE FOR THIS WAVE: I reloaded my browser here; make sure to reload during the fight once it's started, and not too late. That said, for this wave it probably doesn't matter, but better to be safe than sorry.
Steps:

1. Strength sap x 4 (sinistcha dies here)
2. Bring out garchomp
3. Bulldoze x 4 (garchomp dies here)
4. Bring out claw
5. Aura sphere
6. DAILY DONE

Move(s) to take	... by replacing move(s)
None	None

Reward: Daily done!
That should be it! Enjoy your egg vouchers and I hope you get good things! As usual, any changes or anything let me know - I'll be doing a test run in the background when I can to hopefully catch anything else, but if you find waves that don't make sense or reloads that are needed let me know and I can add them in! Also like I said if you find any differences between this and your run and you're playing on a chromium browser, let me know as well :)

Preparing for the Indian Administrative Service (IAS) Mains exam is a journey filled with dedication, discipline, and strategic planning. One of the most crucial components of this journey is mastering the art of answer writing. Your ability to articulate your knowledge and insights effectively can make the difference between an average score and a top rank. Here, we will delve into some key strategies to enhance your answer writing skills, ensuring you stand out in this highly competitive exam.

Understanding the Demand of the Question

The first step in effective answer writing is understanding the exact demand of the question. This involves:

1. Analyzing Keywords: Pay close attention to directive words like 'discuss,' 'critically analyze,' 'elaborate,' and 'compare.' These words indicate the approach you should take in your answer.
2. Identifying Parts of the Question: Break down the question into its constituent parts to ensure you address every aspect.

Structuring Your Answer

A well-structured answer is easier for the examiner to read and understand. Follow these tips for a coherent structure:

1. Introduction: Start with a brief introduction that sets the context. This could be a definition, a relevant fact, or a brief background.
2. Body: Divide the body into clear, logical sections. Use subheadings if necessary to organize your thoughts. Ensure each paragraph deals with a single point or argument.
3. Conclusion: Conclude with a summary of your main points or a forward-looking statement. Keep it concise and impactful.

Incorporating Relevant Content

The content of your answer should reflect depth and breadth of knowledge:

1. Current Affairs: Integrate recent events and developments to show your awareness of the contemporary context.
2. Examples and Case Studies: Use relevant examples and case studies to substantiate your arguments.
3. Diagrams and Flowcharts: Visual aids like diagrams and flowcharts can make your answer more engaging and easier to understand.

Writing Style and Presentation

Your writing style and presentation can significantly impact the readability of your answers:

1. Clarity and Precision: Write clearly and concisely. Avoid unnecessary jargon and verbosity.
2. Handwriting: If you’re writing by hand, ensure your handwriting is legible. Good handwriting can make a positive impression on the examiner.
3. Use of Bullet Points: For lists and series of points, bullet points can enhance readability and make your answer look organized.

Time Management

Time management is crucial during the exam:

1. Practice Regularly: Regular practice with timed mock tests can help you gauge the appropriate length and depth of your answers.
2. Prioritize Questions: Start with the questions you are most comfortable with. This builds confidence and ensures you secure marks in areas of strength.
3. Stick to Word Limits: Adhering to the prescribed word limit is important. Overwriting can lead to incomplete answers towards the end of the paper.

Revision and Feedback

Continuous improvement is key:

1. Self-Review: After writing a practice answer, review it critically. Look for gaps in content, structure, and presentation.
2. Peer Review: Exchange answers with fellow aspirants to gain new perspectives and constructive feedback.
3. Mentorship: Seek guidance from experienced mentors who can provide professional insights and identify areas for improvement.

To truly excel in the IAS Mains exam, personalized guidance and structured preparation are essential. At PM IAS Academy in Coimbatore, we offer comprehensive coaching tailored to your needs. Our expert faculty, extensive resources, and focused mentoring can help you master the art of answer writing and achieve your IAS aspirations. Enroll today and take the first step towards a successful career in public service.
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Mastering answer writing for the IAS Mains exam is a skill that can be honed with the right strategies and consistent practice. By following the tips outlined above and seeking expert guidance from PM IAS Academy, you can significantly enhance your chances of success. Happy studying!

Hello everyone!
A little context to this question: I’m insecure? Well, it’s complicated. I love myself, I know I’m beautiful to myself, but I’ve always been “scared” I’m not beautiful to others, specifically men I’m attracted to or want to be with.
But, after reading “The Courage to be Disliked” by Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga (great read!), I realized that my conclusion of “men I’m attracted to being unattracted to me because I’m ‘ugly”’ is a fat lie.
I realized, with this book’s help, that this was self preservation. My truest fear is being hurt by men, especially in my romantic life. Being “hurt” by them could be anything, from murdering me to actually thinking I’m ugly and not telling me.
I’ve never long-term dated men and, if I have, I’ve never been extremely attracted to them and usually leave after a little bit due to XYZ reasons of them not being for me.
I know I’m not alone in the fear of men, my fear of male violence, but I never seem to find any other women debilitated by it to the point where it affects their dating life like mine. My friends actively fear men, hate them even, and still date like it’s nothing. Like how do they do it? you mean to tell me you’re afraid of men but you’re not consumed by it when you’re near them?
The question I seek advice for, is “How do I get over this fear of men hurting me?” and, for any women/ppl attracted to men out there who understand me, how did you get over it/work through it?

Hi, if you're on my account you'll probably see this. I made a post in Teenagersbutcooler talking about something that has happened recently, and it has taken a bit of a toll on me. I'm mainly making this for incase I stop acting like me. Example, lacking empathy, being rude, or seeming to not care. And I would like to apologize, if I do change up and say stupid things, and I don't mean them. I, currently am perfectly okay. Feeling like myself and not at the risk of self harm. Check out the post for further details if you want.
Edit: If you can't find it, Idk what to title this : Teenagersbutcooler (reddit.com) Also who already upvoted?? Ur awesome

Okay. Sorry if anyone saw this earlier, I accidentally posted it early.
If you dont want to read this whole backstory and get to the main point, scroll till the next bold text...or just scroll to the bottom.
I've always been good at math. I'm not Young Sheldon (though, maybe, to them, I seem like Young Sheldon...?) levels of good at math, but I'm reasonably above my peers–I passed calculus 3 in freshman year of college. I'm a data science student, which works with AI and stuff. I could talk about that shit for hours. But I'm not a super genius. I still studied like crazy. I spent an exhausting amount of effort into passing that class, I didn't instantly get concepts, I don't know. But that's what I'm good at, because how my autism works is that I think of the world in a very objective way.
I think about it so objectively, that I have a hard time handling emotional relationships because sometimes human thought just doesn't make sense. If I can't rationalize something, it'll distress me. Cue not understanding sarcasm, having little friends, etc. Generic "you have autism" symptoms. I also have many bad sensory problems, poor auditory processing (I need subtitles), and there's textures to food that I can't swallow–but I can get used to the taste. But come on, they say I'm low-empathy. I'm textbook genius, without the genius part.
Ever since I was a little kid, like maybe 10 or so, I was introduced to concept of autism and related to it. I'm 19 now, so I want to say it was around 2015 (as a time marker in relation to COVID). For 9 years, I've thought about having autism. I know self-diagnosis is valid is a rule, but remember, I think of things objectively–until a professional says I have something, I'm not sure if I do, by the book, have the disorder. It also has to do with stereotypes. As I said, I'm not a genius. I'm not completely dumb, either. I can tell when people are exaggerating and understand when there's a shift in tone. (But, I, actually, am pretty monotone actually. That's what they tell me, at least.)
But I've gone through a myriad of other disorders. SSRIs since freshman year of high school. But at the time, people were impressed enough with my math skills that they overlooked the other things. When COVID hit, things fell apart.
Another thing I live with is ADHD, inattentive. I know that AuDHD is very common. I like to think of my ADHD as being relatively bad. I have always had problems with executive dysfunction, and I often cannot get ANYTHING done without medication. As I got older, I was expected to do more things myself, and found that I couldn't. I had no self-discipline. I couldn't even be paid to do chores. Anyway, when I was 16, in early 2021, I was diagnosed. (before someone asks: yes, I'm a girl/ AFAB. ) It changed everything for me. Before then, I was simply a smart kid who got lazy. Now, with medication, I actually have a chance of being something worthwhile. After a few years of shitty grades, and constant guilt on your mind, the reward cycle that is academia really clicked in.
Apparently, another thing that supporting my ADHD has done, is reveal my autism to the world. Because I feel like I'm being driven like a motor, I could infodump for hours. Before now, just talking was exhausting. In a way, without me knowing it, my ADHD masked my autism for me. Without it, people start to notice. In college, they've noticed more. And there is a difference between telling yourself you might be autistic, and someone saying it to your face. The immediate reaction is to laugh–it's not funny, but it's what a normal person would do, so it's what you're doing right now. You should feel insulted–it's an insult! Obviously, I have some internalized ableism issues. Plus, my own autism can even clash with others'.
Still, I at least thought of myself as relatively able to be independent. I lived in a dorm, I managed to feed myself, I sleep. I do use drugs, but it's just weed. And sometimes drinking because it's college, but not too often. Basically, even if I am autistic, there's no benefit to actually confirming it. I've been through ADHD screening–it's hard, annoying, embarrassing, and expensive–and I don't want to go through it again if I don't have to.
Like everything else in my life, I also think of medical aid as a pros and cons system. I sacrifice having depression and ADHD on my medical record (military restrictions, minor stuff) for the medication I need, but I don't know how autism is.....treated? Managed? I don't know, my knowledge of the actual autistic community feels pretty minimal. I understand you can't take a pill to just make autism go away because it's so much more than that.
As a university student, I still need medication to help sustain whatever ridiculous workload I put on myself. I needed a new psychiatrist for legal reasons (I'm an out-of-state student) and the university health center provided me one. He's a really nice guy, funnier and more relatable than my last psychiatrist, and actually seems to care. I fall for it, as usual, and start talking more and more about myself than he needs to know. At our last appointment, I bring up my (aforementioned) sensory issues, and he asks me if I've thought about an autism diagnosis.
At that very moment, this almost killed me. This still doesn't truly mean I'm autistic, but it's a strong implication from someone I think of as much better educated in the field. It's close enough–it really is true. Without my prompting (I have this fear of psychiatrists and therapists thinking I'm full of myself/looking for pills/diagnosis so I pretend I've never googled anything on the internet), a psychiatric medical professional has asked about my potential autism. Then, I considered the question, have I thought about a professional diagnosis?
TL;DR, here's the real question:
My psychiatrist also recommended I get in contact with student disability resources for my [already-longterm-diagnosed] ADHD, so now I have to think, would an autism diagnosis benefit me at all? I feel like they pretty much overlap in accommodations. Also, I don't know what consists of "treatment" for autism, if there is any at all.
Additionally, I've heard that an autism diagnosis can keep you from having a job, consenting to surgery, just generally losing autonomy, and I want to avoid that. I'm a woman in the tech field, which is already overcrowded, and the misogyny in that community is still very strong. I'm not looking for any more disadvantages. So, I wanted to hear if anyone had any experience with something similar.
( End note: I'm truly, genuinely sorry if any phrasing is offensive, and I will change it called out. People have told me that I'm less sensitive to language than usual, and therefore can be blunt/rude on accident. )

In January of 2023 my wife, I’ll call her S, left me. A bit of backstory because this is mostly my fault. Me and her moved from Florida to Washington 6 years ago for me to find better work. Her dad, brother and I were all best friends for a while and her dad was my boss that’s how I met her. We started dating in 2016 when I lived in Jacksonville and was attending welding school. When I moved back to my hometown I couldn’t find work and eventually went back to work with the company her dad worked at, I ran my own shop. I hated it I was so depressed I wanted to weld but she didn’t want me to because she’d be alone while I was on the road so I stayed. Her mom is a meth addict and is very violent and her dad is laid back as it gets but an alcoholic non the less. I was living with my parents at the time and one day her mom freaked out and tried to hit her, I stood up and defended her and her mom kicked her out of there house. Me and her lived with my parents ever since. Now that she lived at my parents house I had to basically force her to get a job because all she did was play sims and complain. Especially about me watching game of thrones because of the nudity. when I got home and I thought she needed some purpose. I only bring these thing up to put into perspective the things that I had to forgive and give up to be with her. One day my mom asks us if we’d like to move to Washington in hopes of a better life and she could attend college here. I was thrilled at the idea and she was at that moment too. As the date grew closer and I had already put my two weeks notice in she started getting cold feet. I explained to her that I was miserable at my job and had already given up welding and I was not passing up another opportunity whether she came or not. That ended in a fight but she said she wanted to come in the end. My mom emptied her retirement so we could rent a truck, drive up and have an apartment when we got there (my mom was already here) When got here we both immediately got jobs as a construction labor, making quite good money and her at a drugstore. This is where the problems really began. She started to become very withdrawn. She was not interested in anything sexual, and it began to wear on my confidence. I eventually got a job as an electrician making less money as an apprentice, but more overall when I turned out. Then Covid hit. I got fat and depressed, I got a lot from unemployment. So naturally, I began to drink more. Then I started dabbling in cocaine. Over time this became a problem, I began hiding it doing it on the weekends being out all night sometimes for multiple days. She caught me and I lied. My mental health was deteriorating quickly. I had already suffered with depression before, but this was something different. Her dad got diagnosed with stage bone cancer during this too. It was a rough time for both of us. At one point she told me she didn’t know if she wanted to get a divorce because she wanted to go back home to be with her dad if he died. Even though I understood this crushed me even more. During 2022 I was still somehow I was still somehow still managing to keep it together even with my addiction. She started attending college and work and college at the same time with stressing her out to the point where she was crying so I told her to quit her job and do college full-time. I paid for all of it. Financial burdens began to increase. My mental health dropped even lower. I became increasingly suicidal I thought about death every day. I talked about it every day. She would tell me she’s not a psychiatrist or therapist and that she couldn’t help me. She started hanging out with one of her friends from work and they started hanging out a lot towards the end of 2022. This part is extremely important. I started noticing things on her phone that pointed to her being interested in women like things in her algorithm for TikTok and YouTube. Stuff to do with being lesbian and coming out or bi. I asked her one day if that was something that was going on with her if she was interested in women. She told me no. A month later, she came to me and told me that she thought about it and it was something that she had been thinking about. I told her that it was OK and that it was something that I was willing to let her explore as long as we communicated. Then out of the blue one day again she tells me she didn’t mind if I slept with other women. Looking back this was a red flag at the time. I thought it was OK with it for being with someone else. It turns out I was not. Being a cocaine addict and an alcoholic pretty much plus the thought of her being with someone else started to grind my self-conscious. I became increasingly paranoid that she would leave me. One night fueled on cocaine. I got on her laptop and looked through all of her history all of it back years. And I saw she had to stop obsessing over a guy. Is it OK to have a crush on a guy at the gym while married. I confronted her with this information. And it turned into a huge she said I invaded her privacy which I did and still feel terrible for. And she said it was only a crush and nothing else. Our sex life had all the ground, and I was so hurt that she was attracted to someone else and couldn’t even begin to be attracted to me. One night at the beginning of January, maybe the first week or two I was trying to quit drinking and doing cocaine. I had maybe been a week in. It was the weekend and I didn’t want to be alone. I begged her to stay with me, but she went out with her friend. In retaliation, I suppose I went out with someone a friend of mine and got fucked up. We ended up going back to his place with some girls. There was no sex just making out and such. I don’t remember exactly what happened, but I freaked out and got taken home in a cop car. She was at her friends at this point I decided to commit suicide. I overdosed on muscle relaxers with my uncle to tell him bye. My uncle got it out of him that I had overdosed. He called my wife and her and the woman that she was hanging out with came to my house and I was taken to the hospital. I spent a whole week in the hospital. The whole time I was there she just seemed annoyed. She wanted to go back to her friends house and do homework for school. I got out and went back to work. I had to make up some school and the day I was there. I talked to another woman about how I could win her back because she said that she didn’t know if she wanted to be with me anymore. The girls suggested I take her out on a date and tell her how I was feeling and I did. That night while we were eating dinner, she told me that she had been sleeping with that girl the night I tried to commit suicide and other nights. She didn’t tell me she was afraid I would divorce. At first, I remain calm. But as the past, I started to become angry. at home I told her I was leaving to go stay at a friends house because we need to take a break. I started drinking heavily and told her to get the fuck out of my house and I hated her a bunch of other I started drinking heavily and told her to get the fuck out of my house and I hated her a bunch of other terrible things. I went completely off the rails she left with that girl to stay at her house. I bought a bunch of cocaine Adderall and alcohol and was determined to just do drugs until I died. I started self harming. I tried to commit suicide through carbon monoxide, overdose, and hanging. I ruined the house. I broke so many things kicked down doors shattered pictures. You should’ve seen it. It was disgusting. She came by to check on me because she was worried. I was going to kill myself. I can’t remember everything that I said to her, but I know I freaked out. I started throwing things and just being an absolute ass. it culminated her calling my parents. She told him everything. I should also note that during this time I was confused as well with everything going on in my head and thought maybe I would be by and gave a guy a blow job he also gave me one as well. It didn’t last long I wasn’t into it, but I told her the very next day. Had about three months before all this happened. She left again and my mom flew back from Florida. As I sobered up, I began to realize how I had acted. I went to work and immediately told my foreman that I needed to go to rehab. I went to rehab and started to feel better about two months after she had told me and I went to rehab and started to feel better. About two months since the split, we met up at a Starbucks to talk about us. She said that she didn’t think she could be with me anymore. After the way I had acted and all the lying with my addiction. I wanted her back so badly. I told her I’m sorry I was never worth it in a bunch of other stuff that was childish. She said I had acted like her mom and that she couldn’t deal with it. I totally did the yelling throwing things saying horrible things to her to put her down. Anyway, I went no contact with her the whole time she was still living with that girl. I relapsed after about four months. I got laid off from my job. In a few Coke, fueled rages on separate occasions, I would call her and beg her back and then yell at her when she didn’t want to. I called her with cancer and told him that she had cheated on me with a girl. They are very conservative and that was a horrible thing for me to do. So now the end of the tale. I’ve been in and out of sobriety now for this year and a half more in sobriety than out. I’m sober now I’m in AA and NA and feeling much better. Her dad died of cancer. She never told me I heard through a friend of a friend which really hurt me because me and him used to be best friends. Although I understand why she would not reach out to me. Neither me or her have filed the paperwork for the divorce. We just never talk. She has me blocked on Facebook and I don’t know her phone number and honestly right now. I don’t even know if I want to go through with the divorce or just keep working on healing. I’m so confused because I still love her but also I don’t want to be with her but I do. I think about her all the time. I don’t want to break no contact with her. We haven’t spoken in over nine months. I don’t want to open up the wounds for her. If anyone has read this far thank you. I’m typing on my phone so if everything seems rushed and a little sporadic, sorry. I would just like some advice on how maybe I could move forward stay sober and heal from all of this.

Game Information

Game Title: Lorelei and the Laser Eyes
Platforms:

• Nintendo Switch (May 16, 2024)
• PC (May 16, 2024)

Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=abx4_UzW-uc
Developer: Simogo
Publisher: Annapurna Interactive
Review Aggregator:
OpenCritic - 87 average - 94% recommended - 18 reviews

Critic Reviews

CGMagazine - Justin Wood - 5 / 10

Lorelei and the Laser Eyes fails to capture its intended mystery-filled story because of having to headbutt against puzzles non-stop and some glaring control issues.

COGconnected - Jaz Sagoo - 80 / 100

Lorelei and the Laser Eyes is a twisted puzzle adventure like no other. The high-brow approach to gameplay requires you to read pages from books to learn the fundamentals that enshroud the range of conundrums that you’ll come across. Simogo don’t underestimate your ability, leaving you to ponder clues and work out the solution. While this can halt your progress and lead to cycling around the same puzzles, it makes decryption much more satisfying. The game stubbornly sticks to its principles to the detriment of accessibility, however, losing yourself to the deep layers of intrigue makes this an unforgettable trip.

Digital Trends - Giovanni Colantonio - 5 / 5

The cryptic Lorelei and the Laser Eyes may very well be the greatest puzzle game ever made.

DualShockers - Jack Coleman - 9.2 / 10

Lorelei and the Laser Eyes is a surreal and mysterious puzzle game that executes perfectly on its vision. A potential all-timer for fans of the genre.

Game Rant - Dalton Cooper - 5 / 5

Lorelei and the Laser Eyes can sometimes feel like the Dark Souls of puzzle games, but no one will regret challenging themselves to solve its many mysteries. Players who enjoy analyzing complex stories will have a blast taking apart the many layers to Lorelei and the Laser Eye's bizarre tale, while those looking for an addicting puzzle game will find it to be an incredibly satisfying adventure. Lorelei and the Laser Eyes is a must-play puzzle game and one of the genre's best.

GameSpew - Kim Snaith - 9 / 10

Perplexing and often pretentious, yet compelling and wonderfully accomplished, it's safe to say you won't have played anything quite like Lorelei and the Laser Eyes before. Filled with puzzles and mystery at every turn, once you step foot inside the intriguing Hotel Letztes Jahr, you won't be able to pull yourself way.

GamesRadar+ - Rachel Watts - 4.5 / 5

Lorelei and the Laser Eyes is an intricate puzzle box of interconnected parts. At times it can feel overwhelming, but ultimately this stylish noir's captivating puzzle design anthology and spellbinding story feels like an entirely new and contemporary kind of puzzle game.

God is a Geek - Chris White - 8 / 10

Lorelei and the Laser Eyes is filled with tricky puzzles that require patience, pens and plenty of paper, but can be hugely satisfying.

Hardcore Gamer - Jordan Helm - 5 / 5

A masterfully-orchestrated series of puzzles that are both stand-alone and interconnected alike, a brilliant use of a more-restricted color palette emboldening its art-style and aesthetic. And best of all: one of the most curious, perplexing but ultimately satisfying mysteries to see fully unraveled and revealed in its truest form. Combined, Lorelei and the Laser Eyes stands as Simogo's best work to date. Even with a portfolio as creative as theirs, a release deserving of that most lofty of titles: magnum opus.

Hobby Consolas - David Rodriguez - Spanish - 88 / 100

Lorelei and the Laser Eyes is a new hit for the creators of Sayonara Wild Hearts. This narrative mystery adventure catches you at the first sign of change and forces you to step out of your comfort zone to face all kinds of puzzles full of imagination.

Nintendo Life - Chris Scullion - 8 / 10

Lorelei and the Laser Eyes is one of the most unique-looking games you'll see on the Switch, and it's got the substance to back up the style. Its heavy emphasis on puzzles and its refusal to throw players a bone when they need help may not be to everyone's tastes, but anyone up for a mental challenge in what's essentially an elaborate escape room will love it.

PC Gamer - Autumn Wright - 89 / 100

A thrilling mystery that asks players to rise to its challenges, and rewards them when they do.

Paste Magazine - Elijah Gonzalez - 8.8 / 10

Altogether though, Lorelei and the Laser Eyes is a game with vision. It wraps intriguing puzzles in a digital gothic framic. It makes the most of its chosen medium as it forces us to navigate the tenuous details of this backdrop. Just about every layer of the experience is creatively risky, from its fragmented narrative to its uncompromising barrage of challenges, but these gambles largely pay off to deliver something with purpose and direction. Crafting this kind of maze isn’t easy; it takes a combination of subtle guidance and faith in your audience. But despite these challenges, Simogo never loses sight of how to stoke curiosity about what’s lurking around the next corner, whether it’s a treasure you’ve been seeking or, conversely, something horrible lurking in the dark.

Press Start - James O'Connor - 9 / 10

Lorelei and the Laser Eyes is a wonderfully intricate, amazing piece of game design. It's intimidating and challenging, but it rewards all the effort you put into it. One of the best games of 2024 so far.

Screen Rant - Ben Brosofsky - 4.5 / 5

To return to the start, there's still a lot to say about what this game is. It's equal parts literary and mathy. It's elusive but self-aware. It's romantic, in fits. It's something best played with pen and paper, even if it doesn't seem necessary for a while. It's a story told as fantasy, history, parable, and performance. It's Lorelei and the Laser Eyes. And it could very well be the best game that comes out this year.

Shacknews - Donovan Erskine - 8 / 10

Lorelei and the Lasers Eyes delivers challenging puzzles alongside a mystifying narrative. It successfully trains your brain to overanalyze, experiment, and ask questions. All hallmarks of an excellent puzzle game. I was frustrated by some technical design decisions that slowed the pace and led to unintentional errors, but still had a thoroughly good time working my way through this otherworldly puzzle box.

TheGamer - Tessa Kaur - 5 / 5

You should just play Lorelei and the Laser Eyes instead of reading about it. I’ve never seen a game quite like it, and I can’t imagine I’ll see anything like it again anytime soon. It ticks all the boxes for a puzzle game that is just as intelligently and thoughtfully designed as it is atmospheric and fascinating, and I can’t recommend it enough.

Twinfinite - Lewis Rees - 4 / 5

Lorelei and the Laser Eyes isn’t a perfect game. It isn’t a game for everyone, and even fans of puzzle games like the Zero Escape series might find that this isn’t their tastes. In a world filled with Michael Bay, this is Luis Bunuel. It’s a game created with a distinct vision that isn’t out to please everyone. This isn't a game that cares about being liked by everyone: it cares about being loved by a smaller group. It’s a puzzle box where any narrative is almost an afterthought. It’s there, if you dig into it, but the greater satisfaction comes from finding a way forward.

I am not the OOP. The OOP is u/Ok-Firefighter602 posting in AmItheAsshole and his user account
Concluded as per OOP
1 update - Medium
Original - 29th April 2023
Update - 22nd May 2023
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AITA for breaking a promise and attending my stepdaughter's graduation?
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I’ll start by explaining some backstory. I (54M) lost my first wife when my son (25M) and daughter (22F) were ages 9 and 12, Both my kids took it as hard as you would expect and to this day have a poor relationship with both my current wife "Doreen (49F)" and my stepdaughter "Amy (18F)". I started dating Doreen about 4 months after my first wife passed, as such my kids believe I cheated on their mom. Amy was 5 when we got together and as such I see her as my own daughter.
On to the actual story, 4 years ago, two days before Kay's high school graduation, Amy got very ill while visiting her grandparents and ended up needing emergency surgery. My wife and I rushed to be with Amy and admittedly I did not communicate well with Kay. At the time Kay didn't pick up my calls, so I left her a voicemail and several text messages explaining what happened and telling Kay I was sorry but I would make it up to her. A few hours go by and I get a call from Kay, she is in hysterics telling me what a terrible father I am and stated that if I did not attend her graduation I would be dead to her. I chose to support Amy.
True to her words, Kay did not contact me on the day of her graduation. And when came home Kay's things had been moved out of the house with a note explaining that we were no longer family and to never contact her again.
Luckily Kay and I were able to reconcile, however, I promised her I would give her absolutely anything in the world to make her forgive me. She said that she would forgive me as long as I refused to attend Amy's graduation as this was the only way to make it fair. I agreed at the time thinking she was just joking or angry and would soon forget.
This leads me to now. Invitations for Amy's graduation went out, and despite all the hostility Amy wanted to make sure Kay got one. Kay called Amy later that day and said she would be unable to attend as she and I would be spending the day together per our agreement. Amy broke down into tears asking me why I was missing her graduation, I assured her I was not and that I would speak to Kay. Later I explained to Kay that I simply could not miss Amy's graduation. Kay launched into a tirade about how I was a liar and an asshole and how could I do this to her again. I told her that we would talk when she calmed down and she said we would never talk again.
My son, and several of our extended family have all taken Kay's side saying I didn't see how hurt she was at graduation. My wife believes I am the asshole for even promising that in the first place as I should have known it would only upset one or both girls. And Amy is just sad and confused wondering why Kay hates her. I know keeping my promise and not attending Amy's graduation is probably the only way to salvage my relationship with Kay, but no matter how I look at it I would feel like I'm punishing Amy for having a medical issue, so am I the asshole?
EDIT to add some relevant info.
I NEVER cheated on my first wife. your accusations are honestly tiring and disgusting.
Amy's Bio father was never in her life. I am NOT Amy's Biological father, that wasn't ever even in question as we are not the same race.
Amy had appendicitis, she was staying over 4 hours away at her grandparent's house. at the time that we left the only info Doreen's mother would give us was she passed out and wouldn't wake up.
My daughter was moved out of our house for about a month and a half after which we made up and she returned to live with us for another 2 years before going away to school.
I did not believe Kay when she said she wanted me to miss Amy's graduation as it seemed like a ridiculous request. despite what you all may believe our relationship was fine after this event we were in near-daily contact and she would frequently visit us.
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Comments
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Angry-trans
YTA And have been for years. You are a bad father. Kay is correct. You are a liar. You've done nothing to prioritize Kay ever since your new family rolled in. Your relationship with your daughter is dead and the blood is on your hands.
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calliatom
Seriously though... you never should have promised Kay that, knowing full well that you had no intention of keeping your word. And now you're being a bad father to Amy too, by trying to use her tears and guilt to dig yourself out of the grave you dug yourself with Kay.
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CryptographerSuch753
Seems like all op cared about was getting his way in the moment. Seems like that may be a pattern
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victoria12345678909
YTA - you replaced your kids mom with a new family 4 months after she died! Your kids lost their mom so young and you don’t seem like you prioritized their feelings or helped them deal with things, instead you moved on fast. Kay didn’t have a mother to attend her graduation and she needed you there. Could you not have driven to the grad then back to the hospital?
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LadyDerri
Ten to One that Amy is his daughter. That's why he favors her.
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Comments from OOP

Amy ended up having to get an emergency appendectomy, but at the time was visiting her Grandparents about a 4 hour drive from where we lived. Her grandmother didn't give us too much relevant information before we left, just that she had passed out and wouldn't wake up. On the way there we didn't know her condition or anything because her grandmother is a non-native English speaker and didn't understand a lot of the medical terms. once we got there and signed off on the surgery she ended up needing an additional 2 days in the hospital and wanted both of us by her side. During this time I repeatedly called and texted both my mother and son who were planning to attend the ceremony. I had every intention of calling/ video calling so that I could still support her, but she told everyone she didn't want me to be a part of it.

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I didn't immediately move in Doreen and Amy once we started dating, we dated for over 2 years before we moved in together. My wife's death was not a sudden thing she battled cancer on and off for years before she passed. My children already knew/ were comfortable with Doreen as she was my late wife's best friend so I thought they would enjoy having her around more. I offered both children grief counseling, my son took me up on it, and I took Kay to a few sessions but she would kick/ scream/ cry every time I took her finally the counselor decided that forcing her before she was ready would only worsen her grief. I offered her therapy many times over the years, but she never took me up on it.

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first of all, I knew Doreen for years before I even met my late wife, in fact, Doreen introduced us. I thought my kids would like having Doreen around as before my wife passed they loved her like an aunt. I did not move her in or make her a permanent part of our daily lives until over 2 years into our relationship. four months after my wife passed we agreed to explore our romantic feelings I explained what was going on in age-appropriate terms so they wouldn't be blindsided if they caught their dad kissing their "aunt".

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**Judgement - YTA*\*
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Update - 1 month later
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I wasn't sure if I wanted to post an update after the reaction I got last time, I can stomach death threats against myself but directing such hatred toward my children was truly disturbing. But the graduation has come and gone and I thought I should share how it all went down. I'm sure most of you will be displeased.
Amy was mad at me for a few days, but we have a strong bond and she quickly got over it. The saint that she is said she would understand if I wanted to miss it to make it up to Kay. I told her I wouldn't do that to her and reassured her that she has done nothing wrong.
As for the elephant in the room, Kay, she and my son live in the same city and work in the same field so they're as close as ever. My son and his partner were giving her a lot of emotional support at this time. In the end, she decided not to attend Amy's graduation but sent flowers and a card with my son. There were a lot of nasty messages directed toward her, which I feel is completely unacceptable. She isn't mean or vindictive. She is a smart, very kind, very empathetic woman. She made a bizarre ultimatum as a confused and hurt teenager I certainly don't think that makes her a bad person.
I know all of you seem to think I hate my children, but the amount of pain I feel at the deterioration of my relationship with my daughter is unexplainable, I've been on and off anti-depressants since the death of my wife and at my therapist's suggestion will be going back on them. it's taking all of my willpower not to reach out to her again, but I've already disrespected her wishes enough. She can choose to reach out to me when and if she ever wants to again and I'll be waiting.
I know it's not the most impactful update and I'm sure most of you wanted to see me left miserable and alone, but I don't live my life for anyone else's entertainment. I can accept that I'm the asshole, maybe I'm an asshole in general, but I'm not some evil monster that you all want me to be. I'm a man that made the mistake of sharing his problems with the internet a mistake I won't be making again. I probably won't delete this account, but I'm not gonna be updating in the future. goodbye.
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Comments
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YogurtclosetWeird789
Look OP I get that you're human, just a man.
But you can't get away with the I made mistakes because you make the same ones over and over again.
I don't understand trolls and stupid people with the death threats or nasty messages about your kids it's wrong and disgusting.
The only issue here is YOU! The fact that claim to love Kay and how it is breaking your heart that she wants nothing to do with you is your own fault, every 'mistake' you made and repeated always seems to be against her. I don't actually think you care about Kay all that much as you still have Amy.
Now you've decided oh well I've fucked up again and made so many mistakes I'll just leave her alone and not confront the fact you failed her as a supportive father. OWN IT, Change your damn ways.
Believe me, you're not the worst dad out there. but you are a shitty one to Kay.
When will you wake up and realise without the self-pity that YOU have to be the one to make amends. Why on earth would she contact you?
Do you not care that one day she will get married and you won't be invited to the wedding or even to walk her down the aisle? When she has her first child and you find out through the grapevine instead of being a Grandpa?
Maybe one day she will forgive you, but not if your solution is to just give her space! seems to me she had a lot of space from you already. All she wanted was your time and sole attention for a bit, and you've never been able to give her that. I feel for both your son and daughter because it seems you have a favourite and you don't care as long as Amy is ok.
Let me guess and say your wife thinks it's best to give her the space? Amy may be a nice girl but I bet your wife has encouraged your behaviour.
It's honestly sad.
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OOP: I'm giving Kay space because that's what she said she wants, I can't do anything other than that. No matter what I'm gonna still be there for her any way I can, but for the time being, I'm not going to pester her or beg for forgiveness because that's not what she wants. I HAVE made mistakes and at the top of that list is not listening to my children when they tell me exactly what they need from me.

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AAP_BH
Even in this follow up post the way you speak about Kay, the disgust you feel for her oozes out. You claim so many people spoke badly of her in your previous post but those comments were minimal compared to the people that spoke badly of YOU, YOUR WIFE AND SAINT AMY but you don’t mention that, you still want Kay to be the “bad” daughter. Saying her request was “sad and bizarre” no it wasn’t.
It’s so convenient that this is when all of a sudden you realize you need to and will listen to Kay, not when she was begging you to choose her for once since your dear saint Amy came into your life. All you had to do was not go to a High School graduation and you couldn’t even do that.
You’re a horrible father to Kay and you will continue to be one. The fact that you still made the decision to put Amy over your freaking daughter is so sad, the fact that you cared so much more over Amy being upset over letting Kay down again says a lot. Leave Kay alone, don’t ever contact her again unless it’s to say flat out to her face that you are stepping down as a father since you know you will never be able to giver her the love and attention you give your true daughter Amy, that Amy will always come first. I had peritonitis, I was in the hospital (at 8yrs old) for almost a year on and off and my mom would leave to work , she was a single mother, and I was fine. Amy was a teenager, had A MOTHER AND GRANDPARENTS, she had appendicitis a common procedure, 2 freaking days before your daughters graduation and you couldn’t leave just for a day bc “Amy wanted me by her side”. My heart aches for Kay, knowing she is pretty much an orphan. Ughh parents like you I don’t freaking understand, you should’ve given up your rights as a father the moment you decided that your new family was more important than your children. I don’t think I’ve ever had so much hate for a stranger on Reddit.
ETA— by the way you sad excuse of a man, you didn’t make a mistake you made various CHOICES and DECISIONS to deliberately hurt your daughter. You DECIDED TO PUT AMY FIRST. You’re no victim, the only victim here is your ex daughter, Kay and probably her brother as well
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Soft_Consequence2262
Oh Amy the Saint.... I got the same vibes. The Father is trying to paint Kay as the bad person that he needs to defend. Yet, can't go past without a shout out to how AMAZING Amy is... actually gives me the creeps. Feels like he has some weird obsession with her perfection.
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[deleted]
Yeah the Amy the Saint really rubbed me the wrong way. It’s sad that despite everything, OP is still so delusional. I wish Kay a life of happiness, even if it means she would go NC with OP for life.
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I am not the OOP. Please do not harass the OOP.
Please remember the No Brigading Rule and to be civil in the comments

This will be my first time ever openly sharing about my addiction; from the root cause to the effects and struggles that having a porn addiction has impacted my life to this day
So I just recently turned 21 and I'm beginning to look around and realize that for as long as I've acknowledged that I have a problem and need to quit, I keep feeding the addiction KNOWING that it's ruining my life. I'm going to split this post into 3 sections explaining the following stages: The root causes/early development, Progression of my addiction to current day, and Main struggles from my PA and how I go about everyday life to heal. Not exactly sure why I'm posting this but I just feel like it's something I need to let out. Hope someone can relate or give me their take on it.
The root causes/early development: So I believe that my PA manifested due to a few different reasons: Playing "doctor" with my sister as a child, early age porn exposure, and then using porn as a coping mechanism to deal with any negative emotions. So starting w/ "playing doctor", it first happened at a very young age, somewhere between elementary school to 6th grade. I think most people know what that is but to keep it short basically my sister who is a year older than me introduced my to basically role playing as doctor and patient. I wasn't sure if SHE even knew it was wrong but the point is, it happened. I genuinely don't think she was doing in an abusive way but I'll never know. I don't remember the small details of exactly how it happened but what leads me to think this was a factor that contributed to my porn addiction is that I know now as an adult that it's wrong, however as we "played doctor" I only grew to enjoy it and occasionally we took things outside of "playing doctor" - which is why I don't know what to make of it... Long story short it went from "doctor" to us making up our own games like "spy" where we pretended to fight each other as spy's, getting "knocked out" unconscious while she'd touch... and I specifically remember wanting to play these games in hopes that it led to that. But even outside of playing games I grew to wanting to touch her and act on perverted thoughts as a child that were NOT normal for my age or in general. And sometimes I would sneakily act on them - which as I'm reflecting on right now makes me think that me KNOWINGLY trying to be sneaky and act on perverted thoughts at that young of an age had to have carried on with me as I got older (contributing to my porn addiction).. And then the last thing that I vividly remember was when I was probably 10-12 years old is when again we were actually kind of aggressively play fighting, somehow ended up with each other's hands DOWN THERE mutually and we kept going on with each other until she made me.... yeah. And that was the last memory I had of what started out as us "playing doctor". Fast forward to current date since that last memory and we've never spoken about those experiences (more on that later). Going onto the actual exposure of pornography and WATCHING porn, I was exposed to it somewhere in between the same timeframe as when I'd play doctor and the last memory of us playing (somewhere between the ages of 8-12). I can vividly remember the scene that played late at night on the tv that my parents had left on (I shared a room with them). And then moving forward from there, somewhere in between I would find videos on YouTube of this "prank" channel where he'd go up to paid actors, bet that if he beat them in rock paper scissors that they'd have to make out with him. And as a young kid at the time seeing a girl in a bikini making out with a guy as he grabbed on her ass just made me horny and I learned to masturbate from there. And I cant think of a stronger dopamine hit for a 8-12 year old little me at the time than seeing those videos and pleasuring myself. After this, I'd hit middle school where I was bullied a lot, all while lacking social skills necessary to make any genuine friends or deal with the emotional turmoil of being bullied. Fast forward a few months and I think I just progressively began to normalize using porn as a coping mechanism - All the way from whenever I just got mad while dying repetitively on the videogame, to avoiding the fact that I hated my life everyday that I went to school. I'd use porn to receive that "good feeling" whenever I could. And I think my sexual addiction got worse when I began touching myself in the shower almost everyday in middle school to the imagination of the pretty girls that were at my school, even though I had neverarely talked to some of them. It was just a thing for me where every night I took a shower, I closed my eyes and fantasized about doing stuff with them. And then the cycles of me normalizing these things continued and eventually I found out about REAL porn sites.
Progression of my addiction to current day: So shortly after finding the real porn sites I entirely opted to use those as much as possible as the cycle continued. So by my freshman year of high school I was already using porn sites regularly. I remember during summer and winter breaks, sometimes I'd sleep at my grandmas and stay up all night switching from ejaculating to porn, to watching my favorite youtuber and streamers, to going back to jerking off. It was a multiple times a day/night occurrence OFTEN. Sometimes even during the middle of the day I'd pretend to use the bathroom but really I had a porn video pulled up and I watched until I was done. And as time progressed one video didn't exactly cut it for me. I don't think its that I couldn't get off to the first video, but more so that I just had the urge to see more and didn't want to nut yet. I didn't even know if I was purposely edging or not. I did not even understand that edging was a concept yet. Its just something that occurred naturally for me. And during all of this, I am still somewhere in the age range of 13-15. Consistently ejaculating to pornography, further exploring the more basic categories of porn like anal and lesbian. I think a notable memory was one of the first times I watched porn in the middle of work during summer break (extended family owns a construction company so I worked over breaks). It's crazy because in construction all we have are porta-potties that are always hot and nasty and the urge just came over me one day to pretend like I was using the bathroom and get one off before I went back... I don't think I even realized at the time that I had an addiction because this was still early high school. It was just something I looked at as a good feeling and whenever the urges came to me I took any chance I got to fulfill them. Even if I was sharing a room with a family member, I'd be as slow and quit as I could, touch myself under the covers, finish in my underwear and then showechange the next morning like it was normal. Moving forward, this type of behavior continues all the way throughout high school and the feeling of ejaculating just is not as intense as it use to be, so I look up ways to spice it up and I tried shit all the way from sitting on my own hand til it goes sort or numb so it "feels like someone else is touching you", to doing it in more risky places like my backyard outside when I was home alone and had my pants pulled down all the way, to whatever else I could try. Reflecting back, I just look at all these actions as the progressions of a sexual/porn addiction that is still developing. And this is how I rationalize the way I developed a porn addiction. Now it wasn't AWFUL in high school but it was getting bad. I realized that I had actually had a bad addiction that needed to be addressed a few months after graduating high school. From that point forward It was something that I had acknowledged was an issue but nonetheless, continued to do out of habit and as a continued coping mechanism. Whether it was from the lack of relationships, to my current life situation/direction I was headed in, or just any negative emotion - I used porn to release. Sometimes I'd even just do it out of boredom, not even because I had a dying urge to get one off. And then after that point of realization, I sat in "depression" for a few months still going about my everyday life until one day my dad mentioned that I should try therapy. He knew nothing about the addiction but I did let him know I feel depressed and the many struggles that I faced - which I believe is due to my porn addiction. So long story short, I go to therapy for about 3 sessions and end up dropping it because it just wasn't something I felt was helping or enjoyed (more on that later). From there to current day, I've gone at MOST one week periods attempting to quit porn and every time I relapse. From the age of 1 to-current day 21 years old, the progression of the categories of porn that I watch has grown and a few different fetishes like face sitting, femdom, and role play has increased. I don't NEED to watch these specific categories to get off, however these are ones I've found myself most recently watching and edging to, sometimes for 1-3 hours at a time, usually at night on weekends or before I fall asleep. And to take it a step further, I had started pouring money into camgirl sites, phone sex sites, only fans, etc.. I live with my parents still so it's not to the point that I'm broke and have no money, but still what the fuck am I doing putting my hard earned money into a porn addiction... (I'm a functioning adult on a pathway to financial freedom, more on this later).
Main struggles from my PA and how I go about everyday life to heal: So I believe that the main struggles with my porn addiction consist of: the inability/struggle to create and maintain healthy relationships, low self esteem, poor social skills, lack of motivation, and the cognitive dissonance of continuing my addiction to porn even though morally I believe it is wrong to lust over. I believe all of these struggles that come with porn are connected to each other - minus the cognitive dissonance. But everything else kind of stacks on top of each other. So my thought process is that I already dealt w/ low self esteem and confidence from a very young age, and porn just completely enhanced those problems and made it even harder to fix/work on. If you're anything like me and have watched videos on the sciences of porn on your brain, and possible struggles that we deal with, I'm assuming you know how it goes for the most part. I'd say I show symptoms of all effects of being a porn addict, however I've learned to "act normal" to an extent. Like YES I struggle to make friends and hold conversations with people in general but I can make it happen. Sure it'll be a little awkward depending on who I'm speaking to, but I feel like I act normal enough to not be a total outcast and all out weirdo around people. But I just feel like every relationship I have with anyone is extremely surface level or unfulfilling. I feel like as a person I lack so much substance and personality due to the fact that I never really put myself out there and learned social skills when I was coming up. My mindset was molded into something like "keep your head down and stay out the way" in order to avoid conflict. So I never really put myself out there to develop any type of super crazy/interesting personality. I work, play videogames, go to the gym, watch anime. I feel like there's not much else - which might also be a side affect of my porn addiction. Lack of emotion. And I refuse to call it depression. Kind of got red pilled by Andrew Tate Philosophy and it entirely HAS helped me. Maybe it's real, maybe it's not - because when I was fresh out of high school and hyper focused on the bad parts of my life, I felt depressed as shit. Legit like I couldn't do anything to fix it. And the more I identified as "depressed" the more I allowed myself to look for things in my life to confirm that belief. So eventually I went on a self improvement journey and just stopped allowing "depression" to hold power over me. Now I don't believe in it so it's not something that can hold me down in that crippling way. HOWEVER, I DO believe in just being in a shitty situation - which is what I feel like having a porn addiction along with it's effects and symptoms is. It's a shitty situation and I can either allow it to keep ruining my life OR I can get up everyday and attempt to fix it. And I refuse to play the victim card. Sure, I may have been exposed to some fucked up shit at a young age and used porn as a coping mechanism. There is no denying that it happened and that it may have been unfair and out of my control. YES, that's my problem. I may be a victim of pornography but I do not have to ALLOW it to continue to ruin my life. Easier said than done but it's definitely possible and I will not blame my lack of discipline or call it "depression" because I'm unable to quit. The way I see it is, there is a lot of shit that happened to me in the past that I have to come to terms with, and then I must come up with a plan to improve and learn how to be better. For example, struggling to hold eye contact with people, hold basic conversation with people (specifically women), find confidence within myself, become more social, etc... These are all skills that we can practice and learn. Simply by going outside and putting ourselves in uncomfortable situations that allow us to put the reps in. I believe that if I quit porn and start walking up to 10 strangers a day and try having simple conversations with them, in time I can only get better at being social and connecting with people. It's gonna suck and feel like shit at first, but I truly believe that it's a way to improve and get better. As I stand in my current situation I would say I have a lot of work to do but I'm still a functioning addict. I have friendships and relationships with family but they are very lack luster and I long for something deeper and more intimate. I know I'm not ugly and have the ability to pull a good looking girl, shit I've turned down this really pretty girl who always asks to hangout simply due to the fact that I feel like I'm gonna fuck it up and have bad social skills. And its getting to a point where friends and family are wondering why I haven't had a girlfriend in years. Overall its a lack of self esteem, which hinders me from being able to confidently put myself out there as a person who's deserving of love/companionship, which then makes me sort of self isolate and stray away from any type of connection or opportunity to be vulnerable. Which just leads me to feeling like a loser or someone that is undeserving of love because I'm just in a shitty situation. And yeah. Its kind of a self sabotaging cycle because I feel like I understand what's going on but I don't have the discipline and don't put the work in to get better. But that's just my two cents. This post was extremely long and I probably rifted off topic a few times and had my thoughts all over the place, and I still have a lot more I could give input about but this is the jist of everything
If anyone has a support group or needs someone to talk to, 1. I'd like to join the group, or 2. Feel free to message me for any support or conversation.

Currently an account manager working for a company that deals with schools’ (Athletic Directors/Coaches) needs when it comes to their sport attires, uniforms, equipment etc. by season. I work under 2 sales rep and both of them have at least 50 different private/ public schools as their accounts. I’m basically the point person that deals with the vendors, customers and sub contractors from different states. I also have a team of 2 that help me process these orders.
Here’s an example: 1. School X sends in what they need for Spring 2024 (Softball, Tennis, Baseball, Track and Field, Volleyball etc.) for different levels -Sales rep will send me the “orders”. He would already have identified the item # of the product, logo and subcontractor - I will then check the inventory with the vendors, communicate to the customer and sales rep if there are any issues. If it’s set, I would go ahead and order the items and ship it to the subcontractor - I send the purchase order to the sub contractor including the art, ship date and if there’s any backorders. - I make sure the mockup/logo and the uniforms are done correctly and send it to the customer for final approval and I’d approve it to the sub contractor - Once the order ships, I will wrap up the entire order by checkin in all the invoices are in for the costing. I will then forward the completed order to finance so they can bill the customer.
On top of this, I maintain a production sheet and a running open order report that I send to the upper management for review on a monthly basis to ensure that nothing falls through the cracks
This is essentially what I do on a daily basis and I would get an average of 5 to 10 orders per day. Same process
Does this qualify as a project management?