Dr. seuss stencil fun

My bf (33M) and I (27F) have been living together for about 8 months. We both work in healthcare and both have degrees. I’m still working my way up towards my career goal while he’s met his and lives comfortably. I make $50K and him $150K (after bonuses each month). I’ve been saving for my dog who needs a 5K surgery. For basic savings. And pay all my own bills and buy both our groceries. I moved into his apartment, which is $1600 rent, plus about $400 for “luxury” amenities and utilities. I’ve been paying him $500 for rent. He recently told me he’s starting to resent that he pays more in rent and for dinners if we go out. I explained that I don’t expect this from him so why “take me out” and then resent me for it? He wants me to pay half the rent now. We both have student loans and credit card payments etc. (Him proportionally more debt than me).
I need advice. I feel like he should want me to be able to save and still have some money to spend for myself. He was at this apartment before me. He’s the one who offers the “fun” things we do. I never ask him or expect that from him.
He also told me to get a second job. He works 4 days a week. I work 5 already; so I’d work 6-7 days a week so that we can split everything 50/50? I thought about getting a second job when I first moved in he said “no need”.
Please help!
TL;DR: bf makes 3x my income and wants to start splitting things 50/50

Hey, Im Daniel and im 22. September 2023 i was 120kg(264 pounds), And this is the story of how i went from 120kg(39.6% bf) to 76kg(19.8% bf) in only 4 months.
My routine used to be, wake up, gaming for 18h straight, 2L Coca Cola and eating shit everyday, till i saw a Brazillian guy on youtube, his youtube channel is called "Space Today", And he started a project with some other professional bodybuilder youtubers, he started at 180kg and i was like "huh, if he can do it, why wouldn't i be able to? he's starting line is way above mine." so i went to my local gym, took some nutricionism advices online for better understanding of food, and used some apps like Myfitnesspal or Fatsecret, to know how many calories each food had, bought a scale to weight my food 1 by 1 and did everything perfectly. I used to workout like a madman, my new routine was, wake up at 7 a.m, fasting, go to gym and do cardio, and then muscle training, I was eating 1300 calories a day and my total expenditure was like 3000/3400, that in the beggining.
A few months go by, and i started to get heated up on things, started working out 2 times a day, 1h 30m cardio in the morning, 1h 30m muscle workout at noon, every single day, i was greedy, i wanted it, i trained like it was my last day on earth, heavy training at that, 20km running every day, 140kg squat, 400kg leg press, 100kg bench, i was pretty satisfied with my numbers with only 3 to 4 months of training. One day i looked at the mirror and i could the infamous 6 pack starting to get form, imagine, took me 21 years to get 120kg and only 4 months to get lean, pretty good huh? So, i kept increasing weights, at this point (by my 3rd month) i was eating 1800kcal already cuz i thought i was spending way too much and giving in way too little, but i didnt wanted to exagerate. It reached a point i was training 6 days a week, and only sunday off because the gym was closed on that day, so i would go in the park near my house and start running.
By the end of January, i was running my usual 20 to 25km daily, when i suddenly felt something wrong, it wasnt just muscle pain on my legs that i felt, i stopped the treadmill and looked down confused, it was hurting like hell but i didnt care, just felt like it was a bad day and went home, prepared for afternoon workout and went to the gym, walking with a lot of pain but i couldnt afford to care. Kept doing my workout as usual day by day but with a lot of pain, till one day i was in the treadmill, and i had to stop by the kilometer 2 or 3 because of extreme pain, i couldnt run anymore, so i kept walking on the treadmill, like i said before, i didnt care at all about pain, people used to look at me, i was smiling while running and at the same time looking like i was about to just drop on the floor dying, you dont know the feeling of being depleted of energy but keep going at it till you try it... But in this day in specific it was different, i couldnt run anymore, nor walk, nor nothing, i seated in the treadmill and when i tried to get back up i couldnt, it was pain in the lowerback(lumbar) radiating to the legs, i felt that everyday specially on leg days, but never at this level of pain, this time i couldnt get up at all, so my friend called the PT'S and they decided to call an ambulance. i did a TAC analysis in the hospital, and they discovered degenerative herniated disk and several damaged sciatic nerves. I'm that type of guy that doesnt cry for anything, but I started crying when they told me i couldnt work out anymore and that i would need a cirurgy to replace the damaged disks...
You dont know what it is until it happens to you... Its so frustrating, in the start, you do it because you need to do it in order to lose fat, but when you start to see progress, you start to have fun with it, it stops being an obligation and starts being a fun hobby. They use to say that "in your highest times is when the devil comes for you", and i felt exactly that, in a moment, i was happy for the first time in life with my self and my body, and 1 minute later i had nothing.
Sorry for the big text, all this to say, its not worth it guys, take it slow, do a diet where you do a decent deficit, cutting 500kcal is okay, its not worth it going under 2000kcal, you dont need to cut half your calories, your body needs nutrients in order to function properly, Think of your body like a car, it needs gasoline to keep going, but it also needs oil, and manuntention, etc. I felt a lot of times out of strenght, i just kept going because in my mind was some David Goggins type of shit, "Do or die", "Imagine if this weight was a car and your mom's below it, push it or she'll get crushed" type of mentality you know? But what for? The best advice i can give you is, loosing weight is extremely easy, like i said, 21 years to get to 120 and 4 months to get back to 76, and if i had done it safely, probably could've achieved close to that number, like 85 or 80, with an even better physique, cuz will all this cardio training i lost tons of muscle mass. Remember, your body needs to rest, its not a machine, the world wont end tomorrow, you have plenty of time no matter your age, forget about being meso, meta or endomorph, everyone can do it, just change your habits little by little, and when it comes to food you dont need to change it at all, just control your portions, inform yourself with useful data. There are a lot of fake influencers but, also good ones like Dr.Mike or Paul Revelia or Lee Lem, they give plenty of healthy advices for free on how to achieve your ideal body % and realistic time to get it.
Thank you for having patience to read through all this. If i could go back in time, i would've done everything differently, being greedy was my biggest mistake, but if you are fat right now, i know you understand what were my thoughts, i just wanted to get rid of all that fat. In the end, it wasn't worth it guys. Stay safe!

Link zum Buch: https://www.amazon.de/dp/3440162990?ref_=cm_sw_r_apann_dp_Q5JQ4HD3YSXD6QDTJZZH&language=de-DE&skipTwisterOG=1
Als Buch- und Hundeliebhaber habe ich mir vorgenommen jeden Monat ein Fachbuch zum Thema Hund zu lesen. Das erste Buch was ich mir vorgenommen habe war "Verhaltensbiologie für Hundetrainer". (Hinter-) Grund der Idee ist, dass im Internet sowie bei Trainern oft altes oder falsches Wissen verbreitet wird und ich mich auf den neusten fachlichen Stand bringen wollte.
TL;DR schon hier oben falls jemand keine Lust auf viel lesen hat: Buch ist absolut empfehlenswert, wenn auch keine einfache Lektüre, besonders wenn man nicht viel Berührung mit fachlicher Literatur hat.
Warum dieses Buch zum Anfang?
Öffentlich sind einige interessante Studien zur Verhaltensforschung und Verhaltensbiologie verfügbar. In vielen Fällen behandeln diese Studien jedoch ein sehr spezielles Thema und bieten keinen allgemeinen Gesamtüberblick. Darüber hinaus kann durch verschiedene Faktoren das Ergebnis einer Studie verfälscht werden, weswegen sogenannte Meta-Analysen sehr interessant sind. Das Buch behandelt viele verschiedene Bereiche um so eine Wissens-Grundlage anhand der Befunde verschiedener Studien herzustellen.
Rezension:
Allgemein kann ich das Buch jedem empfehlen der sich für Verhaltensbiologie beziehungsweise Neurobiologie interessiert bzw. ein tieferes Verständnis für Hunde entwickeln möchte. Es werden viele verschiedene Themen beleuchtet die für Hundehalter und Hundetrainer interessant sind. Es wird eine Grundlage geschaffen, für tieferes Wissen sind die herangezogenen Studien oder Bücher direkt referenziert.
Besonders schön empfand ich, dass gewisse Mythen bezüglich Training und Erziehung geschildert wurden und nochmals mit Hilfe von Studien darauf hingewiesen wurde, dass diese widerlegt sind. Gerade, da es immer wieder vorkommt dass ein Trainer oder anderer Hundehalter "es besser weiß", war es für mich persönlich hilfreich mein(e) Vorwissen / Bauchgefühl / Erfahrungen bestätigt zu bekommen, sodass ich mich nicht weiterhin verunsichern lasse. Gleichzeitig habe ich auch neue Dinge mitnehmen können beziehungsweise umdenken können.
Ein Kritikpunkt am Buch wäre für mich, dass besonders in den ersten Kapiteln wenig Bezug auf Hunde genommen wird. Es ist mir bewusst, dass viele Erkenntnisse an anderen Säugetieren auch auf Hunde übertragbar sind. Genau diese direkte Übertragung und Schlussfolgerungen fehlten mir jedoch teilweise. Lehrreich war es dennoch, mir persönlich fiel es teilweise nur schwer die Aufmerksamkeit zu halten, wenn es um beispielsweise vogelspezifisches Verhalten ging, welches im ersten Moment noch keinen direkten Bezug zu unseren Haushunden hatte.
In einigen Kapiteln gab es sehr viele Fachbegriffe die nicht sehr tiefgehend erläutert wurden. Persönlich war / bin ich vertraut mit diesen, sodass ich es als unproblematisch empfand. Eine leichte Lektüre zum Abend ist das Buch nicht weshalb ich es nur empfehlen würde wenn man so etwas mag.
Meine wichtigsten Takeaways / was ich aus dem Buch mitnehmen konnte: Reihenfolge ist ohne Hintergrund und es wird lang

1. Thema Ressourcenverteidigung:
2. Viele Hundetrainer und Halter empfehlen, dem Hund eine Ressource (Nahrung, Spielzeug) zu entziehen oder danach zu greifen um dem Hund beizubringen, dass man "Rudelführer" und somit Besitzer dieser Ressource ist. Häufig wird auch Unterordnung geübt indem ein Hund eine Ressource freigeben soll. Es wird oft vom Hund erwartet Ressourcen abzugeben wenn wir danach verlangen. Bei Hunden die ihre Ressourcen verteidigen wird von vielen mittlerweile empfohlen, das Futter nicht weg zu nehmen sondern zu tauschen oder die Hand zur Schüssel zu bewegen um noch etwas hineinzutun.
3. Von Beginn an hielt ich nichts davon, dem Hund grundlos eine Ressource zu entziehen die ich ihm überlassen hatte. Wir hatten von Beginn an über Freigaben gearbeitet. Da er vom Tierschutz kam haben wir präventiv während er gegessen hatte mehr high value Leckerlis hinzugegeben. Grundsätzlich haben wir auch viel über Handfütterung gearbeitet. Da Giftköder und andere Themen natürlich dennoch zu beachten sind haben wir auch das "Abgeben" von Ressourcen trainiert. Hier haben wir aber immer getauscht. Was Giftköder betrifft haben wir ihm beigebracht dass nichts ungefragt ohne Freigabe vom Boden aufgenommen wird. Findet er etwas zeigt er dies an und es erfolgt entweder die Freigabe oder das Verbot hier jedoch mit Tausch im übertragenen Sinne.
4. Probleme mit Ressourcen hatten wir mit unserem nie. Ein neuer Trainer, der aufgrund territorial motivierter Aggression mit uns arbeitete gab uns jedoch einen Alltagsleitfaden. In diesem war beschrieben, dass wir dem Hund das Essen welches er bekommt nach Zeitraum X entziehen sollen und keine Spielsachen frei zugänglich lagern sollten. Persönlich fand ich das blöd, zumal wir an der Stelle keine Themen hatten und begann eine Diskussion mit dem Trainer. Wir wurden uns nicht einig, jedoch war ich danach verunsichert, da der Trainer rational gesehen mehr Ahnung haben sollte.
5. In einem der Kapitel ging es eben um das Thema Ressourcen. Die interessantesten Ergebnisse waren, dass in Hundeverbänden ein Leittier oder ranghöheres Tier NICHT einfach weil es den Rang hat eine Ressource des anderen beansprucht. Wer zuerst etwas findet "malt zuerst". Ein rangniederes Tier, welches zB ein Stück Futter findet oder bekommt darf dieses behalten. Nettes Fragen oder Tauschen gibt es wohl. Das Aufgeben einer bereits "geclaimten" Ressource an den Ranghöheren nur aufgrund dessen Ranges findet aber nicht statt und ist für Hunde somit nicht verständlich. Auch interessant, ist dass die Reihenfolge und Menge der Futteraufnahme nicht vom Rang abhängt. Ebenso trifft dies nicht auf beanspruchendes Verhalten bezüglich der Menge oder Dauer zu. Es fordert ein Tier mehr ein und isst mehr, wenn es dies braucht, nicht weil es den höheren Rang hat.
6. Konkret für uns bedeutet das, dass unser bisheriges Doing korrekt war. Auch hat die Studienlage bestätigt dass es in unserem Fall gut ist, weiterhin mehr zu füttern wenn der Hund dies einfordert, da dies nichts mit verwöhnen zutun hat sondern seinem Bedarf. Da er eher an Untergewicht leidet statt anders herum ist dies für uns also die passende Lösung.
   
7. Thema Angst:
   
8. Unserer kam mit einer Angststörung zu uns. Hier hatten wir uns zu Beginn an Hilfe geholt und anfangs große Probleme. Offen gesagt halfen die Tipps der Trainerin nicht und wir mussten quasi selbst herausfinden wie unser Vorgehen ist. Tipps wie ihn absitzen lassen beim Trigger oder andere Tricks verlangen, konditionierte Entspannung über Worte oder auch beruhigendes Streicheln halfen damals nicht. Erst als wir ihm erlaubten zu Triggern Distanz zu halten (zB mehr Leine oder ausweichen) wurde es besser. Mittlerweile sind wir an einem Punkt, an welchem Ablenkung oder konditionierte Entspannung möglich sind. Mein Partner und ich gerieten jedoch öfters in Diskussionen bezüglich des Vorgehens wenn der Hund aufgrund der Flucht-Reaktion an der Leine zog. Einige Trainer und Bekannte rieten uns dazu das Ziehen zu korrigieren und zu bestrafen worauf sich mein Partner oft berief. Aufgrund meines Hintergrundwissens bezüglich Traumata und Panik war ich jedoch strikt dagegen. Meine Begründung war, dass der Hund in diesem Moment die Info "Leine ziehen ist verboten" nicht abrufen kann und die Erwartung dass er nicht zieht wenn er in der Flucht-Reaktion ist somit nicht gerecht ist. Darüber hinaus war / bin ich der Auffassung, dass eine Korrektur in diesem Moment keine Lernerfolge erzielt.
   
9. Das Thema Angst wird im Buch beleuchtet. Hier werden die Reaktionen fight flight fawn freeze und die hormonellen Vorgänge sowie Hirnprozesse beleuchtet. Fakt ist, dass bei einer Panikreaktion je nach Veranlagung und Erfahrung des Tieres einer dieser Mechanismen greift und das Tier keinen Zugang zu gewissen Hirnbereichen wie dem präfrontalen Kortex hat, welcher u.A. fürs kognitive Denken und Entscheidungsfindung verantwortlich ist. Darüber hinaus wird beschrieben, was lange Erhöhungen der mitwirkenden Hormone für Einflüsse auf das Immunsystem haben. Auch erstaunlich war zu lesen, dass Hunde welche chronischen Stress haben und dadurch (Muskelmasse) abnehmen NICHT von einer stark proteinlastigen Ernährung profitieren, da die Aminosäuren u.U. nicht verarbeitet werden können und es somit "nur" zu einer erhöhten Belastung der Niere kommt. Weiterhin wurde beleuchtet, dass das Strafen oder Ignorieren in Stresssituationen die Beziehung belastet, sowie die Anwesenheit einer Bezugsperson sich vorteilhaft auf den Stresspegel auswirkt. Letztlich interessant war, dass auch hier beschrieben wurde, dass ein Hund langsam an Trigger herangeführt werden muss um Ängste zu überwinden.
   
10. Mitgenommen habe ich hier für mich, dass ich weiterhin dafür einstehen werde bei einer Panikattacke den Hund nicht fürs Ziehen zu bestrafen. Interessant war auch, dass das Thema Untergewicht und Futter bei uns zugetroffen hatte. Eine Gewichtszunahme hatten wir erst erreicht nachdem die Angst besser wurde.
    
11. Thema Wesenstests
    
12. Gerade bei Welpen werden oft Charaktertests gemacht um zu schauen wie der Charakter des Hundes zu einem potentiellen Halter passen könnte. Weiterhin müssen Listenhunde oder als gefährlich eingestufte Hunde den Wesenstest absolvieren. Hierüber hatte ich mich informiert und war geschockt, was der Hund beim Wesenstest aushalten muss.
    
13. Studien ergeben wohl, dass jegliche Tests bezüglich Wesen und Eignung vor dem Alter von circa 1,5 Jahren nicht aussagekräftig sind. Auch wird beschrieben, dass die Wesenstests nicht alltagsnahe Situationen abbilden und keine wirkliche Korrelation zwischen allgemeiner Aggressivität und dem Verhalten beim Wesenstest festgestellt werden konnte.
    
14. Thema Genetik bzw Nature vs Nurture
    
15. Interessant war hier, dass bestimmte Eigenschaften oder Eignungen von beispielsweise Jagdhunden eine sehr geringe Erblichkeit aufweisen.
    
16. Aggression kann wohl unter Umständen erblich sein.
    
17. Eine große Rolle spielt nicht zwingend der Charakter der Elterntiere sondern besonders der Hormonstatus der tragenden oder stillenden Mutter sowie die Aufzuchtbedingungen. Fun fact hierzu: wenn Welpen in der Aufzucht nicht die Möglichkeit haben drei dimensional zu erkunden werden sie nicht die Fähigkeit entwickeln drei dimensional zu denken und somit Höhen und Tiefen nicht gut einschätzen können.
    
18. Thema Kastration
    
19. Es gibt bei Hunden wohl keine Korrelation des Ranges und Testosteronspiegels. Ein kastrierter Hund ist somit nicht "unterwürfiger".
    
20. Es gibt bei Hunden wohl keine Korrelation zwischen Aggression und Testosteronspiegels. Ein kastrierter Hund ist nicht weniger Aggressiv.
    
21. Es gibt wohl Korrelationen zwischen gesteigerten Jadgtriebes und Kastration. Kastrierte Hunde sind demnach oft jagdlich motivierter.
    
22. Allgemein wird zur Vermeidung ungewollter Fortpflanzung empfohlen, Vasektomien statt Kastration zu wählen, da dies weniger in den Hormonhaushalt des Hundes eingreift und das Kastrieren entgegen mancher Annahmen keine Verbesserung bestimmten Verhaltens wie Aggression bringt.
    
23. Thema Dominanz/ "Alpha"
    
24. Leitung hat der, der die meiste Erfahrung / Führungskompetenz aufweist. Das Leittier beharrt nicht immer auf seine Position und unterdrückt auch nicht immer Randniedere. Im Gegenteil eher zeigt ein Tier Führungskompetenz wenn es sich in wichtigen Situationen durchsetzt. Das Leittier läuft NICHT vor der Gruppe weg, sondern meist eher mittig hinten. Es ist aber dazu bereit die meiste Distanz zur Gruppe einzugehen und entscheidet wohin sich bewegt wird. Dominanz an sich ist keine Eigenschaft sondern eher eine Beziehung. Die Dominanzbeziehung etabliert sich meist nicht, weil der dominante Part seinen Status aggressiv einfordert, sondern weil der Rangniedere die Überlegenheit anerkennt.
    
25. Trainingsmethoden wie den Hund in eine submissive Körperhaltung zwingen, den Hund nie vor einen laufen lassen und ständig den eigenen Willen durchzusetzen weil man kann sind also nicht sinnvoll. Wer vom Hund als Führungsperson akzeptiert werden will muss Führungsqualitäten zeigen.
    
26. Thema Beziehung und Bindung
    
27. Ein Hund baut eine Beziehung nur zu einem Individuum auf, wenn dies einen Zweck hat. Böse ausgedrückt muss das Individuum etwas zu bieten haben (Führungsqualitäten, Futter, Schutz, etc.). Auch in der Hund-Mensch Konstellation kann es zu verschiedenen Bindungsformen kommen (sicher gebunden, unsicher gebunden etc). Eine sichere Bindung zu einer Bezugsperson senkt das Stressniveau des Hundes. Gleichzeitig erhöht Oxytocin ("Bindungshormon") die Lernfähigkeit von Hunden.
    
28. In der Pubertät den Hund zu ignorieren oder für Fehlverhalten mit Ausschluss zu bestrafen (wie es von manchen Trainern empfohlen wird) führt nicht dazu, dass der Hund besseres Verhalten zeigt. In der Pubertät würde natürlich unter gewissen Voraussetzungen eine Abwanderung von der Gruppe stattfinden. Solche Voraussetzungen sind beispielsweise vertrieben zu werden, wobei Hunde hier nicht zwangsläufig aggressiv vertreiben sondern über sozialen Ausschluss und Ignorieren arbeiten.
    
29. Bindung lässt sich in vier Aspekte teilen: Nähesuchen, Trennungsreaktion, Bindungspartner als sichere Basis und Bindungspartner als sicherer Hafen.
    
30. Thema Aggression
    
31. Aggression ist keine Eigenschaft sondern ein Verhalten, welches zu verschiedenen Zwecken zB der Kommunikation eingesetzt wird. Es gibt keine Art Rückstau und somit Abbau von Aggression. In den meisten Fällen ist Aggression eine Angstreaktion, bei welcher Noradrenalin produziert wird (Flucht = Adrenalin). In welche Richtung die Angstreaktion schlägt ist u.A. von Veranlagung, Charakter, Erfahrungen und Situation abhängig. Jedoch kann Aggression für Hunde belohnend und somit positiv sein, in diesem Fall kann gegen Aggression nicht rein mit positiver Verstärkung vorgegangen werden. In der Regel gibt es verschiedene Vorstufen bis zur Eskalation/ Beschädigungsabsicht. Gut sozialisierte Hunde lernen durch Spielen die "Fitness" anderer korrekt einzuschätzen und neigen weniger zu aggressivem Verhalten.
    
32. Thema Prägung
    
33. Hunde, deren Muttertier in der Schwangerschaft und / oder Aufzucht ein bestimmtes Futter gegessen haben werden dieses Futter bevorzugen. Es gibt zwei Phasen, wobei eine richtige Prägung nur besteht wenn sie in beiden Phasen stattfindet. Die erste Phase ist in den frühen Lebenswochen (8-12) die zweite zwischen dem 6ten und 9ten Monat. In der zweiten Phase muss das Erlernte der ersten bestätigt werden, dann hält es lebenslang. Ein Hund der als Welpe mit verschiedenen Reizen vertraut gemacht wurde (zB Menschen) wird wenn diese Reize nicht nochmals in der zweiten sensiblen Phase bestätigt werden die vorangegangene "Prägung" vergessen (zB Angst vor fremden Menschen).
    
34. Thema Erziehungsstil / Lernen / positive Verstärkung
    
35. Hunde lernen am besten und effektivsten mit positiver Verstärkung.
    
36. Schreckreize oder Strafen führen zu keinem Lerneffekt, sie unterdrücken nur ein bestimmtes Verhalten. Falsch eingesetzt können sie zu Fehlverknüpfungen, Angst- oder Aggressionsverhalten führen. Hierbei müssen die vier Regeln beachtet werden (guter Artikel: https://www.hundeherz.ch/fachbeitrag/lerntheorie-hund-positive-und-negative-verstaerker-teil-3)
    
37. Trotz des Faktes dass positive Verstärkung an effektivsten ist, kommt man nicht darum herum klare Grenzen setzen, sowie Konsequenz zu zeigen. Siehe autoritativer Erziehungsstil.
    

Und letztlich noch eine kurze Erläuterung, da manche Menschen positive Verstärkung mit gewaltloser Erziehung bzw. Positivem Hundetraining verwechseln:
Positive Verstärkung / Belohnung: etwas angenehmes Hinzugeben.
Negative Verstärkung / Belohnung: etwas unangenehmes Wegnehmen.
Positive Strafe: etwas unangenehmes Hinzufügen.
Negative Strafe: etwas angenehmes Wegnehmen.

tl;dr: my fiance find totally impossible the possibility of me going out somewhere without him
My fiance and I have been together for approx 1,5 years. Our only fights are about our external relationships.
For context, I have always had a lot of friends and saw them very frequently (mostly every day), just hanging out. My fiance on his side has studied medicine and was working very hard so his only friends are a couple of friends from high school.
Since I met my fiance, I naturally stopped seeing my friends so frequently and that was a choice from my end. I now see them every couple of weeks maybe more if I have lunch with some of them during the week.
However, everytime I mention wanting to go see a friend (female friend) without him, he gets hurt and tells me I don't consider us as a couple because if I was, he would be invited to the gathering. It is even worse if it happens to be a gathering that include male friends.
Last week, one of my female friend that I used to see often and with who I used to go on vacation every summer with other girl friends told me that as everyone is working this summer we should book a villa close to our home city and just enjoy a weekend with the girls. When I told this to my fiance, he told me it hurts him that I am happy to spend a weekend without seeing him, and that for him he never feels complete if he is not with me. He told me he would then organize a weekend with his 2 friends at the same time then. I have no issue with him doing that but I felt hurt as it looks like a vengeance more than a fun time he wants to have. Also I love his friends but they all cheat on their girlfriends and I feel uncomfortable about this.
Lastly, yesterday one of my oldest friend told me that she wanted me to go have dinner with her and her parents that I didn't see for a long time and I would have been happy to see them. I then called my fiance at 5 to tell him I would probably go out for dinner and he burst in deception telling me he does not understand how I can find this normal, telling him only a few hours prior that I abandon him for dinner and leave him alone for the night. He told me I should refuse going somewhere if he is not included because we are a couple and should be doing things together. I would have loved for him to come but he is not eating some type of food and the restaurant we were going to was not suitable for him. He told me I should have done more efforts to change the restaurant and go somewhere he could eat. I told him I am not in position to ask someone my dads age to change his plans for this.
I told him I feel like I am in prison and I don't wish to feel this way with my future husband. He apologized deeply but I am scared it was just to make me stop crying. I need to write down a rule for him to refer if he ever reacts like this again . We are both conscious it is a deep conception difference between him and I but I don't consider my life being blocked whenever I want to do a girls trip or even just a simple dinner without him. I need help in finding the words to explain him what I feel and understand why this is so impossible for him.
I love him with all my heart and would dream of fixing this fundamental issue.
Thank you all
I am posting on this r too in the hope of having as many help as possible

So, here i am minding my own buisness just sailen around. when all of a sudden a reaper of bones emissary spawns/gets merged at the fort i was at we were both sloops but i was solo slooping they had a duo. they chased me all the way across the map, trying to get my tier 5 emissary flag ((i tried tellin em ill let them have it if they let me sell first but they werent havin it)) so i just kept goin, doin some of the sailin tricks ive heard about here, anchor turning, tactical rock turns using a harpoon, etc. etc. Before finally i was at an outpost, but they just kept chasin me, so instead of stopping, i jumped ship with a treasure chest, sold, and repeated that whole scene till my ship was empty, then i lowered my flag and took a couple pot shots at the reaper, since he still wouldnt leave me alone, neither of us sank, but still it felt fun wasting his time, when he realised i lowered my flag he went off to mess with someone else i guess. he couldve just turned off and went after someone else but nope, he wanted a newbie doin solo sloop silliness.
TL;DR: i had a fun time out running a reaper
Also let me know if i used the right tag or not please idk how the flairs for this sub works

I (32F) have a friend (33nb) who I've known for 15 years. We never lived close to each other and our contact over the years was rather lose with us keeping up with each other's lives over Twitter and me visiting them every two years or so. In all those years we got along well and never had an argument. They once told me that no matter how long we go without talking, they always feel welcome by me, and I used to refer to them as "one of my favourite human beings".
This changed when we started to talk more regularly three years ago. They had started playing DnD and had asked me to join their new campaign, which I did, and which lead to us spending several evenings a week hanging out over on Discord in a voicecall with two other friends of theirs.
Over time I realised that they were not as nice to me as they used to be. Making fun of me, making wrong assumptions about me, just generally often not being very nice to me. Early on they reached out twice, saying they thought they were overstepping and being too mean to me. I told them I appreciated them reaching out but did not say much more to it. I know that's on me, I should have made it very clear at that point how their comments made me feel. I don't handle conflict well and failed to make my position clear when they reached out. So instead of saying "Yes, you are right, your behaviour really hurts me. Please stop." I basically said "Thank you for reaching out about this, I appreciate it." Probably not very helpful.
And then it just kept getting worse. It got to a point where I constantly felt like I was walking on eggshells, that no matter what I said they would read something into it and make assumptions about me that weren't true. They are a very eloquent person whereas I am not and I feel like I have to be super careful about what I say because they will understand it in a different way from how I meant it. I don't generally have a problem with misunderstandings, it's the way they assume things about me that I find hurtful and the way they lash out at me that I find difficult to handle. They have a very short fuse and will immediately raise their voice, which I don't deal with well. And the constant accusations are getting to me. When someone says something that seems off to me or seems to contradict what they had said earlier, the last thing I suspect is that this person is trying to deceive me. Especially not if they're my friend. I will think I misheard or they phrased it weirdly or we use a certain word in different ways... basically I will first go through any possibility that is not about the other person purposefully trying to be hurtful or deceiving. With them it's like no matter what I say they will come to the worst possible conclusion. To me it often seems like they have a certain interpretation of things and to them that is the only valid interpretation.
For example:
I told them how I was really struggling with the fact that with working full-time and my friends all living in different cities, I rarely get to go out and actually do something with the people I like and how my whole life had turned into "working, sleeping, working, sleeping..." and how this was really taking a toll on me.
A couple of days after I told them that we were trying to look for a date for a DnD session and I told them I wasn't available on the date they suggested because I had to travel to my hometown because of a family member's birthday. To which they mocked me over how I was "always socialising" which then in turn made me upset and I told them how untrue that was and that never getting to socialise was currently my whole problem. To which they raised their voice and said that I was constantly socialising and accused me of gaslighting them for saying otherwise. I took a look at my calender in which I note down appointments and social stuff and told them how I could literally see in my calender that I had met up with friends TWICE in the past six weeks.
Eventually it turned out that we use the term "socialising" very differently. To me socialising means "voluntarily doing things with people that I like". To them apparently socialising means anything one does with other people, so family meetings that you go to despite not really wanting to but feel obliged to attend fall under socialising as well as any kind of appointment.
I often get the impression that we define things differently and when I say something that doesn't make sense to them they immediately feel like I'm trying to manipulate them or am questioning their perception of things, and they they lash out and attack me, which in turn hurts me. Whether this is actually what is happening, I don't know... it's just how the way it seems to me sometimes.
Some other examples are how they called me a "capitalistic bunny" for saying that I don't hate my job and how my manager is very nice. Because apparently being glad about the fact that something that I have to do to literally be able to provide for myself is not as bad as it could be means that I love captalism. (Fun fact: they were working for Amazon at that point. Which I guess is okay as long as you mention three times a day how much you hate it there.) Or how they accused me of thinking my own experiences are universally applicable as a response to me literally saying: "I noticed that every time I visited you it was a lot colder than where I live. So I was wondering, is it generally colder in your area or was it a coincidence that it was colder every time I visited so far?"
I don't know how to talk to them about how their behaviour hurts me when they misinterpret everything that I say and immediately lash out at me or withdraw and spend the next few hours thinking everyone hates them.
It's not even that I think they don't care about hurting me or that they wouldn't be willing to change. It's that them not saying those things out loud anymore would not change the fact that they still think them. Them keeping these thoughts to themselves would not mean they don't think that way anymore, just that they are not saying these things out loud anymore.
I think the only possible way to fix this would be to talk to them. But I don't know how to fix something with communication when communication is the whole problem. So I don't feel comfortable confronting them and am looking for other ways to change my own behaviour to make this situation more tolerable. I don't know how to make my boundaries clear and clearing up misunderstandings without them feeling attacked and lashing out at me.
Over the past few weeks I've started to withdraw and stopped reaching out to them. And I've been feeling so much better. I got to spend more time with some other friends again and realised that it's possible to spend several hours with other people without constantly having to worry about how what I say might be understood, without constantly feeling judged and without getting mocked or my actions being interpreted in the worst and most inaccurate way possible.
I feel guilty for feeling this way, like I'm making this person out to be the most insufferable person ever and like I'm just dropping them for getting too exhausting to deal with. I feel like if I were a good friend I would reach out and try to fix it. I'm not even giving them a chance to explain their point of view. Maybe they see all this very differently, maybe to them I am the one who is hurting them. I'm just so tired of not being able to be around this person without ending up feeling bad or having to worry about making them feel bad.
Tl;dr I feel like my friend is treating me very poorly and I don't know how to deal with it. I don't feel comfortable confronting them about it but don't know how to act in this situation. I want to fix it without confronting them and don't know how.

TL;DR: I have massive identity issues and am extremely uncomfortable with being who I consider "myself," so I latch onto characters I suspected to be my "alters," but now I do not know if I've just been intensely roleplaying or if I rlly have been dissociating as a sys.
have the lil people in my head really been alters or just intense delusional roleplay? so like context my childhood has been NOTORIOUS for character roleplay and daydreaming ! one because it's fun and I'm imaginative like that, and two I felt like no one would like me if I were myself so I disguised myself in roleplay and different character personalities. so I've done that for long enough in elementary to have strange identity crises at ages 11-13. one day I decided to stop tryna be a character and be myself! I was like okay! but I tended to run into the question, "wait- who is myself?"
by 12 I roleplayed as a certain group of ocs for my very close friend and by 14 I felt them as a strong presence. however! this is where it gets a little red flaggy. I had a friend with osdd as well, and I caught my best friend connected with him dissociating and feeling like they had different personalities, memories, and voices in their head. and about a month later I realized that the way they described dissociation and alters might've kind of related to my situation with feeling strong presences to my ocs as if they talk to me and act differently! so I decided, "what if I became a system what if I have been the entire time."
so I kinda "experimented" with being a system by letting the presences and characters in my head talk and speak their mind. while I've genuinely felt all fuzzy and disconnected from myself, as time went by my "system" slowly became more forced and conscious.
by this I mean I'd sometimes fake people "fronting" for my friends to talk to certain ppl, and consciously wonder "if I'm this alter and not myself" but if I'm not myself why would I think that.((((?????) I usually force personalities and characters to "front" because I always feel uncomfortable being myself, and I have genuinely 0 idea who "me" really is but I know who my ocs are, I know their personality in the "system," so I grab onto them and hide myself in them just to feel comfortable and cope with stuff. I don't see myself as a real person but rather a character that can be molded and changed. so, who rlly is me?
this has been going on for over a year now and as time went by I feel myself being less of a disconnected alter and my system starts to feel more like roleplay again as I reflect and realize how I treat the presences in my head. (I usually "switch" to entertain and make my friends happy and interested in me.)
have I been roleplaying intensely to cope with my identity crises or do I rlly dissociate??? like honestly, who tf am I. who is everybody I've treated as sysmates... they feel like actual presences but they don't feel like distinct alters they feel like characters from.another world that I have contact with and sometimes take over my body and memories and feelings!!!!!! guuhh idk. (also I don't have amnesia, usually just emotional amnesia but what if that's just me bottling up)

I’m not gonna lie, I’m just posting this to vent, and maybe get some validation and encouragement.
My ex and I broke up last year, May 2023. I know deep down it needed to happen because we were together 7.5 years and had nothing together. I spent the last couple years constantly asking wth we’re doing. We’d have breakups and then he’d tell me he wants to have babies and wants to take care of me. That never happened. We never lived together. The final breakup was because I finally hit that point of resenting him. I gave him my best years because I truly thought we were gonna make it. He got me a ring in the end, but it felt like a “here ya go, this’ll shut you up” ring. And just didn’t feel like what I know I deserve.
When I’m in a relationship, I’m loyal to a fault. I saw no one else but him. Truly TRULY deeply loved him. Really believed he’d be my husband and the father of our future kids. He was my absolute best friend.
Mind you, he tried to come back and make it work. But there’s just this weird distance between us now. And I can’t get rid of it. He took me on dates and bought me flowers to make up for a lot of the ways he took me for granted… and I just felt numb. So we “tried” and it just felt like it needed to end.
But now I’m alone and miss the great parts of us. I lay here and keep seeing the moments of us CRACKING UP at stupid things and inside jokes. I wish I still had that. He was truly the love of my life.
I hate that I’m alone now. I know ppl don’t like to admit that, but I don’t care. I hate that he let it go so easily when we did end it. I truly miss him as my counterpart. I feel so broken. It’s been a year and I really don’t know how people get through this.
I’m constantly told I’m beautiful, “gorgeous”, funny, intelligent, in shape, loving, sharp, great with kids, all of these great qualities that ppl follow up with “you’ll find someone”… but I HAD him and I don’t understand how I’m supposed to just accept that I’ll never cuddle with him again, go to his house after work, lay in bed watching movies, go to concerts together, family parties, make future plans etc.
Everyone around me thinks I’m okay but I’m really not.
I’ve also been going on dates, and I have fun and I can be in the moment. But then I have a breakdown (like right now as I’m typing this) and I don’t get it. I really thought he would be my husband and we’d just live a quiet simple life.
TL;DR: I miss my ex and idk how im going to survive this.

....
https://zenodo.org/records/6210570
https://ibb.co/0V8yCGB
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She looks like Jennifer Doudna, literally:
https://ibb.co/gD5rPy9
What if?
What if the lipo-nanoparticles and the ACE2 gene-silencing CRISPR RNA-gene-drive 'inoculation' program are part of Club of Rome's Odum's "reduce America's population by 2/3rds hopefully voluntarily by 2030?" What if this was and will become Utopia? What if Deagel's 2025 population statistics that accounts for this 2/3rds population reduction, which was sponsored by Kissinger, the Rockefeller foundation and Edwin Deagle Jr., knows more about this?
https://ibb.co/Pr9YffM

"The analysis of the SARS-CoV-2 structure in light of the functioning of the CRISPR-Cas9, Cas12a and CasX mechanism suggests that the virus is man-made through genetic modification. [...] Covid is not acting like other viruses and many various symptoms in human body have been observed. [...] The modifications in the backbone’s phosphate group induced by CRISPR engineering create a highly imbalanced state. The entropy and therefore the repulsion forces strongly dominate in this type of virus."

What if they gave you AIDS and sterilized you? What if the optimal CRISPR-Cas9 lock-on markers out of any nGG, ie markers for future gene editing, was part of the plan? And hopefully none of this is sexually transmissible. Sticking a peen in an Extinction Level Event... is it worth the risk? We should ask Ian this. He did look grayer after screwing Jessica.
https://ibb.co/bvcf1F7
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Utopia (UK):

• "SARS doesn't exist."
  
• "The planet can support only 1 billion."
  
• "We leave 5 to 8% unaffected."
  
• "Janus consists of protein and an amino-acid." (CRISPR)
  

I chose my own people."

Spikeopathy’: COVID-19 Spike Protein Is Pathogenic, from BOTH Virus and Vaccine mRNA

https://mdpi.com/2227-9059/11/8/2287

The modification of mRNA with N1-methylpseudouridine for increased stability leads to the production of spike proteins for months.'

Uncanny similarity of unique inserts in the 2019-nCoV spike protein to HIV-1 gp120 - withdrawn (January 2020)

https://biorxiv.org/content/10.1101/2020.01.30.927871v1

Amino acid residues in all the 4 inserts have identity or similarity to those in the HIV-1 gp120 or HIV-1 Gag."

What's the common denominator? European DNA. The injection is ethnically adjusted to deplete ACE2-expression of European DNA but not those carry k26r polymorphism, ie. Ashkenazi J's and the Amish.
https://ibb.co/2KNmdCH
Where is ACE2 located? Also in mitochondria, the cell's battery. Why cancer? CRISPR, mitochondria and p53 disruption, oxidative stress. Once modRNA gets into cells, they're released to hijack cell's machinery to produce full-spike proteins, endlessly. Spike proteins downregulate ACE2-protein expression of mitochondrias and silence p53 the guardian of genome. And the CRISPR Cas9/Cas12a awaits for gRNA to act.
An idea of giving cells the instructions to synthesize pathogenic spike-protein to develop immunity is imbecilic in the first place. But urging people to get one without a prescription promising getting back to normal (that's been destroyed for this purpose) - a crime.
But Rockefeller's (Rockefellos) Cub of Rome would never think of doing anything like this. The network in Utopia is fictional, right? Read Kissinger report, read the Jaffe memo!
Rockefeller's Population Council:

"fertility control agent' designed to lower fertility in the society by 5 to 75% less than a present birth rate; to be included in water supply in urban areas." (1969).

https://ibb.co/7gJBNwq
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You see, just like women refused to smoke in public until they saw it as a form of liberation. Covid is our liberation. If things go to plan. We won't know for many years.
The public would never support the most powerful men working to reduce the numbers of the "lower class" until we saw OURSELVES as a deadly virus to the planet. That's been the goal from the get-go.
In the population control document that Rockefellers sponsored it suggests multiple methods of involuntary sterilization such as adding “fertility control agents” to water supplies, temporary sterilization of all young women “via time-capsule contraceptives,” and compulsory sterilization of men with three or more children.
Those are just ideas they floated, it's not like they ever funded or implemented them. It's not like they made an anti-fertility vaccine! They did.

Its not like they ever went thru with an actual involuntary roll out of this tho, we woulda heard about it!

You might have seen this 2014 story "debunked." In 2014, Kenyan doctors found traces of HCG in Tetanus vaccines being distributed by WHO/funded by Gates. Why is this important?
HCG is the same pregnancy hormone that is used in conjunction with Tetanus in that SAME ROCKEFELLER FOUNDATION FUNDED INDIAN INFERTILITY VACCINE. Doctors in the Philippines and Mexico also claimed to have found HCG in their WHO distributed Tetanus vaccines in the 90s (they did). The WHO didn't fund the development of that Indian vaccine (BECAUSE THE ROCKEFELLER FOUNDATION DID)!
https://ibb.co/cyXwns8
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It is important to note that this Anti-fertility vaccine has been in development since 1988 thru 2014 to this day.
It does appear as if the Rockefellers have implemented their "involuntary fertility control" and have used Tetanus vaccines as cover to test this pet project of theirs, but that's speculation.
The goal of the network also reminds me of "Children of Men," originally published in 1992 and set in England in 2021.
https://ibb.co/V3fyDKH

"Armageddon Begins - Russian Detonates Nuclear Bomb, Kazakhstan Annihilated." The newspaper reads in opening of the film.
Children of Men' (2006) Plot - In the year 2027, after 18 years of total human infertility, war and global depression have pushed society to the point of collapse as humanity faces extinction.

Did you know that "Children of Men" was written by Phyllis Dorothy James, referencing Pat Frank's "Mr. Adam" and "Alas, Babylon" written back in 1950s?
Given the quality of sperm declining due to fluoride, chemical exposure and such, and mRNA-medicine affecting fertility of men and women, that's the exact match.
Joel E Cohen, the Rockefeller University Professor on Population heavily acknowledged the significant drop in fertility rate of white populations in US and EU, explaining driven immigration to sustain the level and boost 'economic prosperity.' As the saying goes, Just as the Egyptians made G‑d’s firstborn (the Israelities) suffer, G‑d punished - measure for measure - the Egyptians’ firstborn. All the firstborn would lose the life-energy that until then kept them alive." This is the 188th Mitzvah and accompanies the gene drive which is Janus to a T. Bye, bye!
https://ibb.co/y41N4NK
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Angiotensin-converting enzymes (ACE) play a dominant role in fertility (2013):

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/24152441/
To solve population bomb, just sterilize the entire world with:

• release bioengineered disease binding and exploiting ACE2
  
• silence gene expression through CRISPR-Cas9 mRNA
  

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Presented for your viewing:
https://ibb.co/wrz03dk
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https://ibb.co/qnSyYVp

CRISPCas9 gene drives in genetically variable and nonrandomly mating wild populations (2017)

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/28560324/

A drive targeting Ace2 might therefore conceivably be used for direct population suppression.”

DARPA invests $100m in gene-drive technology - new gene-editing technology, which many people fear could lead to deliberate and unintended damage on a huge scale (2017):
https://eandt.theiet.org/content/articles/2017/12/darpa-invests-100-million-in-gene-drive-technology/…
Harvard, Wyss Institute - CRISPR-Cas9: Gene-drive:
https://wyss.harvard.edu/media-post/crispr-cas9-gene-drives/

Little is known about the role of p53 in the regulation of ACE2. An earlier study reported that p53 suppresses the replication of coronavirus through ACE2 degradation in humans.”

https://researchgate.net/publication/350180861_A_tissue-_and_gender-specific_regulation_of_the_SARS-CoV-2_receptor_ACE2_by_p53_in_pigs
https://ibb.co/wzxtjHh
https://ibb.co/8mJ455t
And to conclude, Epstein associate George Church, who said arranged marriages using gene sequencing as Haredim have been doing is ideal; Epstein associate Martin Nowak - Evolutionary dynamics of CRISPR-Cas9 gene drives (2016)...
https://biorxiv.org/content/10.1101/057281v1.full
...with Matthew Liao, want to design humans using gene editing.
https://ibb.co/QdqsfyJ
https://ibb.co/zQv8rDs
https://ibb.co/PQtDgvh
https://ibb.co/jDQkB7x
https://ibb.co/TR023k6
https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/bioe.12519

The Rockefeller Foundation - Bionics, Transhumanism, and the End of Evolution (2019):

https://foresightfordevelopment.org/video-library/bionics-transhumanism-and-the-end-of-evolution
Here's the end; how fun it will be, how fun, indeed:
https://ibb.co/8rbdNzY
In Grant's drawings it says they put the ghost cell in the buffalo and the man eats the buffalo and rots. People won't physically rot from consuming the food, they'll just be sterilized when they take the vaccine, or they will, because Prions.
Like I'm crazy so don't take too much of what is posted here that seriously, but do if your life depends on it.
Utopia experiments manuscript was the plot for 2025. I'm shaking in my socks.

I grew up pretty standard 2 parents and all 4 grandparents and only 1 brother (I’ll get back to that) in the very early 2000s. I used to think my life wasn’t all bad until I grew up without my mom for a good portion of my life due to drug addiction, and only being told awful things which were kinda true by my emotionally (and with my dad literally not dead just worked a fuck ton) unavailable dad and his side of the family (at 3 years old), they never knew how to deal with or show emotions really at all only threaten me (mostly as my brother was the “perfect” child) with soap in the mouth, a wooden spoon, to “stop crying or else” or their favourite lI’ll give you something to cry about” or one I heard way to much “stop crying it’ll make you sick” all of these were a given in my grandparents house. Until I finally moved in with my parents at the age of 7 (4 years with my grandparents) but I would occasionally see my mom around as she would be at my nan’s (mom’s mom), and my parents would always fight a lot to which my dad around that time gained full custody of me and my brother, we had no idea as we were separated from our mom a bit more unless he was home (probably should’ve started with that oops) but whenever we would be a “proper” (heavy emphasis and big quotes around proper) family it always devolved into them yelling about money and some shit, and it all came to a head with our parents splitting up once before in 2007 my mom had brought 3 guys to my nan’s house with me there within this time period of 2007-09 1. Was a chill fun guy who’s been dead for about if my memory is right 16? Years now give it take 2. Guy was a fine enough guy never talked to or seen him much but the third guy was a real piece of work, on the surface he was a smooth talking Italian guy with a pretty thick accent once alone he’d peel back that layer, and show his true self a very mean evil fuck who abused i have no idea how many women but he choked my mom a lot when we were sleeping and one time I stayed up a bit later because it was a weekend and I could hear my mom it sounded like struggling, so I go out there as an 8 year old to find him on top of my mom basically strangling her so I rushed in pushed him away from her and said “stay the fuck away from my mom” (I heard swearing a lot and my dad let me at the time) but also he was like 30 something being pushed and shoved around by a tiny 8 year old. But after that we went to live with my dad and my mom after that she kept going back farther into her drug addiction around 2010-12 the big problem with juggling being moved from 4 different places and school was taxing on my childhood brain (4 places being my parents, grandparents, aunts and nan’s) and getting no therapy because not many in my family really cares about mental illness. (Told you I’d get back to it) so the big 2012 incident was me and my brother playing halo in his room after school only to hear our mom bust through the front door and me and him have been playing for a few hours at this point, then we hear our mom screaming and throwing stuff at our dad something about him sending money to a secret 3rd child he might have had during our moms rehab. Nobody acknowledges him as as apart of our family and dad won’t get the tests done to see if he is his and this for most of our grandparents involved to try save us and de-escalate the situation and according to my mom she would “sneak around the houses at night to see us and dad” because we would “freak out” if we saw her, which just sounds like a child missing a mother if you ask me the fully grown adult so yeah, and my high school life was pretty uneventful as it was pretty standard. TL:DR I got a pretty bad hand dealt in the life category and just now processing and trying to deal with it all now as an adult. (I just finally asked my mom for therapy or counselling a month ago to which she told me “I’m not broken”when I tried to open up to her about my thought process and why I think I need therapy) oh I never talked about my brother he was a pretty typical bullying me a lot and shooting me with BB and pellet guns but the worst is him shoving me in a dog crate at the age of 5 and pushing me down my grandparents flight of stairs. Oh and my grandpa on my moms side he was more absent then she was only popping up if he was required to work up there or birthdays and Christmas I still don’t know much about him to this day.

I am at exactly 10 weeks today and I just weighted myself for the first time since I got pregnant. I am 11 pounds heavier than my normal weight that I have been since I was 15. I was weighting myself very rarely, maybe once a year or once in two years but I was same weight each time throughout the years and I can see on my clothes I was the samw weight.
My starting weight was quite low ( about 117 pounds at 5'9 - I am converting from metrics so hope this is correct), which I know is underweight by body mass calculators but that really is my natural weight and I have other family members who are like that. I never worked out other than swiming for fun and walking, ate whatever I wanted and had a good apetite. I also am not a picky eater so my diet was varied and I never restricted in any way. I also have very petite bone structure so I didn't look unhealthy despire low numbers on the scale.
I am not obsessed with being skinny but I do worry about what I will look like after pregnancy . My concerned is not being a bit heavier afterwards, cause I have room for it , but I worry I will gain some crazy amount and therefore end up with too much extra skin , too saggy belly , stretch marks etc.
I was at a checkup yestrday and seems everything is fine with the baby. I haven't brought this up to the dr cause I wasn't aware I gained this much.
Do you have any advice or similar experiences? I would be very grateful for any imput? Do you think I should watch what I eat a bit, or do you think it is a bad idea to start now , to not sccidentally undereat and harm the baby?

Hello! I’m 17 and I’m just starting to enter the world of childcare via camp counselling and teaching gymnastics, and physical boundaries are a bit murky for me with clingy kids. I’m autistic so boundaries are already a wee bit difficult but it’s also an adjustment being on the other side of the power dynamic.
Since I started working with kids at 15 I’ve always had a few cling on kids, aged 4-9, and I never know when to say no when they hug me. It doesn’t help that I’m a very tactile person as well as a bit of a people pleaser that just wants to give the kids what they want.
I guess my concern is for when I give kids hello and goodbye hugs, and when i lift them up in a variety of ways for fun and to spin them around. Also sometimes they jump up and i settle them on my hip, even the older ones if i can. Should I be setting more boundaries? Is it important to show them what a safe adult looks like? Am i a safe adult if i don’t give them hugs when they need one?
Either way, I definitely need to work on giving the clingy ones independence from me I think, because as much as I love all of them it can’t be good to sit outside of the activity just to hang out with me? Right?
And that brings up another concern for me. What do i say when kids tell me they love me? I always say something along the lines of “i love being around you/having you in my class” etc etc.
I don’t know, I just know I want to work with kids for the rest of my life and these worries have been building up a while, and I’d love to know thoughts from other professionals and parents!!!
Tl;dr: kids cling to me socially and physically and I’m worried it’s not very healthy and wonder what parents and ece’s think i should do in terms of boundaries. Specifically to do with hugs and when they tell me they love me.

I dont know who to talk to about this, so gonna try to share an honest story here, and hope I dont get trolled and shamed and called things, which seems to be a running fear in my life.
I am a 37M Indian living in Germany. I met her , 31F from Poland almost 5 years ago, and from the get go I knew her kid who is now 7 would be a problem for me to accept. I still dont know where I got the courage to still go ahead, I guess the fact that I was really into her, and she into me, we have had the strongest, most passionate and deepest love for each other and it hasnt changed even today. I could not really accept the kid however, and always snuggled to reconcile these two parts of this relationship. Even today it triggers a deep shame in me (shame is something I have struggled with in general all my life) and I spiral almost everytime into thinking and wanting to do drastic things like end it. I know most of this may not be rational, and maybe its the fact that I feel I cant find this kind of love elsewhere (which may or may not be true) , as well as my indian family's absolute denial and unwillingness to accept this or support me in this, but I am too emotional about this on both sides, I love her too much to leave her, and I am still too ashamed to fully accept the kid and build a good relationship with him.
My theory was, I plan to have my own kids as well with her, so how does it matter if there is one more at the dinner table, and perhaps it would be a good deed on my part to give a child a better childhood that he has with a single mother struggling to make ends meet. But in all this perhaps I did not account for all the things that would continue to trigger shame in me, I feel like I would be ridiculed and not taken seriously since I would agree to raise another man's child, everytime I see some post on instagram making fun of guys like me, oh and btw the kid is half black so that doesnt help either. I feel emotionally stuck and yes there are days where I feel like fuck anyone who wants to shame me, and I will carve out my own path in life, and I shouldnt care about what anyone thinks, but there are also days when muscle memory kicks in, and I feel like I'm signing up for a life of frequent mental problems around this.
If anyone has thoughts on how to think about this, without attacking me, pls go ahead.
TL;DR : I cant get over the shame of having to accept and raise another man's kid to be with the woman that I love. I seek advice, perspectives and help in thinking about this

I dont know who to talk to about this, so gonna try to share an honest story here, and hope I dont get trolled and shamed and called things, which seems to be a running fear in my life.
I am a 37M Indian living in Germany. I met her , 31F from Poland almost 5 years ago, and from the get go I knew her kid who is now 7 would be a problem for me to accept. I still dont know where I got the courage to still go ahead, I guess the fact that I was really into her, and she into me, we have had the strongest, most passionate and deepest love for each other and it hasnt changed even today. I could not really accept the kid however, and always snuggled to reconcile these two parts of this relationship. Even today it triggers a deep shame in me (shame is something I have struggled with in general all my life) and I spiral almost everytime into thinking and wanting to do drastic things like end it. I know most of this may not be rational, and maybe its the fact that I feel I cant find this kind of love elsewhere (which may or may not be true) , as well as my indian family's absolute denial and unwillingness to accept this or support me in this, but I am too emotional about this on both sides, I love her too much to leave her, and I am still too ashamed to fully accept the kid and build a good relationship with him.
My theory was, I plan to have my own kids as well with her, so how does it matter if there is one more at the dinner table, and perhaps it would be a good deed on my part to give a child a better childhood that he has with a single mother struggling to make ends meet. But in all this perhaps I did not account for all the things that would continue to trigger shame in me, I feel like I would be ridiculed and not taken seriously since I would agree to raise another man's child, everytime I see some post on instagram making fun of guys like me, oh and btw the kid is half black so that doesnt help either. I feel emotionally stuck and yes there are days where I feel like fuck anyone who wants to shame me, and I will carve out my own path in life, and I shouldnt care about what anyone thinks, but there are also days when muscle memory kicks in, and I feel like I'm signing up for a life of frequent mental problems around this.
If anyone has thoughts on how to think about this, without attacking me, pls go ahead.
TL;DR : I cant get over the shame of having to accept and raise another man's kid to be with the woman that I love. I seek advice, perspectives and help in thinking about this

I dont know who to talk to about this, so gonna try to share an honest story here, and hope I dont get trolled and shamed and called things, which seems to be a running fear in my life.
I am a 37M Indian living in Germany. I met her , 31F from Poland almost 5 years ago, and from the get go I knew her kid who is now 7 would be a problem for me to accept. I still dont know where I got the courage to still go ahead, I guess the fact that I was really into her, and she into me, we have had the strongest, most passionate and deepest love for each other and it hasnt changed even today. I could not really accept the kid however, and always snuggled to reconcile these two parts of this relationship. Even today it triggers a deep shame in me (shame is something I have struggled with in general all my life) and I spiral almost everytime into thinking and wanting to do drastic things like end it. I know most of this may not be rational, and maybe its the fact that I feel I cant find this kind of love elsewhere (which may or may not be true) , as well as my indian family's absolute denial and unwillingness to accept this or support me in this, but I am too emotional about this on both sides, I love her too much to leave her, and I am still too ashamed to fully accept the kid and build a good relationship with him.
My theory was, I plan to have my own kids as well with her, so how does it matter if there is one more at the dinner table, and perhaps it would be a good deed on my part to give a child a better childhood that he has with a single mother struggling to make ends meet. But in all this perhaps I did not account for all the things that would continue to trigger shame in me, I feel like I would be ridiculed and not taken seriously since I would agree to raise another man's child, everytime I see some post on instagram making fun of guys like me, oh and btw the kid is half black so that doesnt help either. I feel emotionally stuck and yes there are days where I feel like fuck anyone who wants to shame me, and I will carve out my own path in life, and I shouldnt care about what anyone thinks, but there are also days when muscle memory kicks in, and I feel like I'm signing up for a life of frequent mental problems around this.
If anyone has thoughts on how to think about this, without attacking me, pls go ahead.
TL;DR : I cant get over the shame of having to accept and raise another man's kid to be with the woman that I love. I seek advice, perspectives and help in thinking about this
PS: thanks for all your perspectives, I understand them and agree with a lot of them. I want to mentioned a few things:

1. The father is in the picture, but not really, he doesnt really make any effort to spend time with him, and only takes him on sundays and even that not without creating problems for my GF. He is not exactly dead beat but clearly this kid is not enough of a prioritiy for him.
2. One of my main struggles in this relationship is that I dont feel like a father figure. I think there is something biological that changes for men when they have a kid (the ones who care about their kid anyway, unlike her ex) and that hasn't happened for me yet,
3. The main reason I still tried to do this relationship is because I think of myself as a kind and generous man, atleast thats what I want to be,I want to be better than my fears and my shame and I have made a lot of effort over the years to develop a genuine connection with the child (I taught him basketball to bond with him and he loves it), to get over my own biases and fears, the shame, and have come a long way, and I have done a lot more for her and the kid that the ex ever did. The point is I know I am capable of loving and providing for this kid, I just need to learn how to get over these feelings
4. 80% of the time I am fine, and they are happy, it's the spirals of shame that get triggered that shake me up. I'm saying all this not to toot my horn but to establish that I have fought a lot for this relationship to work and it has been emotionally exhausting and draining, but also taought me a lot about mysel., and if I ask for help, it is to deal with the shame, not to find ways or validation to exit the relationship, that I can manage on my own.

So I decided after much frustration with this game's community and doing as many people once told me "Be the change you wish to see" I took it upon myself to do a small experiment with just shifting attitudes and my behavior in this game.
After being a playful goober who use to have the heart and flower emote on my wheel and all manners of just goofy emotes to try and mess around with others friend or foe and just make a bunch of playful mayhem and do silly things which many use to seem to enjoy...I decided after so many laughing emotes to my face as I am mercilessly targeted or ledge camped to just stop being nice and friendly and move in the direction this entire community almost seems to be pushing for and embraced the "Sweat Lord" mindset and be a menace.
Hilariously I made a small list during my days since I started the experiment of people who were toxic and absolute scum of the Earth with their attitudes and happened to run into them here or there, where now I am just hogging weapons, camping people and targeting them mercilessly to net wins over and over again as I legitimately went on a flipping 20+ game winning streak because now I quit having a funny bone or any form of good nature towards others and what do ya know but the people who ACT like absolute disgusting pieces of work towards others have the audacity to cry foul when they get treated the same way~ Isn't that just simply precious? guess it's not so funny when all you sweatlords meet one of equal or better skill level and measure XD
TL;DR: Needless to say I'm turning off notifications from this post because when I just posted some constructive criticism about weapons needing some balancing most of you people wanted to just be your typical selves and play contrarian and act like you know what's best for this game while you're all slowly choking any fun out of a cartoony brawler game about fluffy animals. All I can say is, I'm gonna be making it a point now to make every game miserable for any enemy teams I come across and I'm calling a curtain call on my posts on this sub-reddit. Enjoy what the majority of you asked for and reap what you sow~ <3

Technically they are such a fun rotation but both are slot 2 units while they need to be together on rotation.
Their SoT defense is at 180k. 50% DR won't help them.
I feel like they need a new slot 1 partner or a great EZA for PHY Goten & Trunks. Otherwise they are not usable in any new content.

TL;DR: Boyfriend (33M) of 5 months seems to be dishonest or keeping me (27F) a secret. Changed phone background to pic of me with him when with me, then when we’re apart, changes his background to something else.
I started dating a guy 5 months ago and we shortly went long distance after I got relocated to Texas for my new job. The plan was to work in Texas temporarily and try to move back after 1-2 years of experience but the plan has slowly changed, he told me he plans to move to Texas by the end of this year to be with me, because his work gave him the opportunity to relocate.
I have been selectively single for a while because I was remotely working and traveling; moving around a lot has made it hard to settle in one spot. But for the first time after meeting him, I wanted to settle in one spot.
Our relationship has been 4 months in person and 3 long distance now (talked for 2 months before dating). He seems like a genuine guy and checks all the boxes for me, He (White American) is learning Mandarin because he knows how important my culture is to me. He randomly decided on his own this year he was learning Mandarin. I told him he didn’t need to, and that I would still have the same feelings for him, but he thinks that learning my language will bring him closer to me and my culture.
Here is why I’m having mixed feelings; we had each other as each other’s phone backgrounds. When he came to visit me last month, I saw that his phone background had changed to some mountain landscape. He didn’t notice that I had seen the phone background change. The next morning, when I was grabbing his phone to turn off the alarm he had, he snatched the phone quickly and turned off the alarm. I went to shower and when I came out, he was showing something on his phone to me and I saw he changed it to a picture of us. But today we were webcamming (3 weeks after he visited) and he picked up his phone and I saw it had changed to a black background.
While yes, I was disappointed when I saw the mountain background initially, I didn’t care if he didn’t want a picture of me on his phone background. What seemed sketchy was he changed it the next morning. I didn’t make a big deal of it because it had been 3 weeks since we had seen each other and I didn’t want to spoil the fun of him visiting for the weekend. It was his birthday and I bought him a plane ticket and planned a surprise party for him.
Seeing that he’s back in the bay and changed his phone background back just seemed sketchy. Am I overreacting for thinking he is keeping me a secret or something? He introduced me to his grandma who is closest to him, spends his energy learning my culture, and his weekends on the phone with me… but something about this seems off to me.
He has never mentioned me in any work conversation- seems like workers don’t know about me. When I told him I wanted to come to his work and work remote from the cafe at his office (when I was still in California), he told me it would be boring and noisy. We don’t have each other on any social media either so I don’t really know what he’s up to. He tells me he has no friends and doesn’t text anyone which is a bit hard to believe. On top of that, in the past he would disappear for a few hours and not text until I mentioned I would like a text at least every 4 hours. Am I overthinking this? He has all the green flag energy, but changing the phone backgrounds seemed a bit dishonest. I wouldn’t have cared if he didn’t want me on his Home Screen, but why change it when I’m not looking? If he’s talking to someone else or keeping me a secret, why waste his energy learning Mandarin and why spend his weekends on the phone with me? The long distance + fresh relationship makes it hard for me to now trust him.. but he also seemed sincere about how he would make the move to be closer to me at the end of this year.

I would like to preface this I didn't watch their first playthrough of THH.
Anyway, both DR and GG are my childhood — but SDR2 happens to be my favorite game out of the franchise.
I took a break from GG due to simply losing interest, but a few days ago I decided to go on a nostalgic avenue. I'd watch GG play SDR2, what can go wrong?
First off, I got about 30 episodes through because I was genuinely interested to the reactions but.. I immediately could tell Arin had no interest by the time 'walkthrough' was mentioned by Dan.
Also, Arin skipping freetime altogether, when Dan showed excitement in getting to talk to Gundham.
Danganronpa is NOT the most fun or best game in the world, but god.. he could've at least tried. It was boring to see him skip over the trial because he knew already OR pretend he predicted future events. Also, being confused at certain things because he LITERALLY skimmed over large sections.
Dan DID seem interested a tad, and perhaps that was the one saving grace that led me to watch a bit further. Still, it's a shame but I guess I understood why I took the break from GG.
I'm not even a diehard DR fan, but WOW! So many things could've been done better. I understand it is a bit of a slug sometimes, but what fun is it to watch impatience?
Genuinely painful to watch.. I vow to never watch a game I actually enjoy on GG.

Tl;dr — my copy of MoSh arrived today. I’d forgotten I’d committed to getting the actual book. In the midst of trying times I needed a pick-me-up. And this certainly ticks that box.
Thank you to Sean & the team for getting this done & out the door to people, and to the community for providing the support than enabled Sean & team to do this, plus providing such a rich choice of content out there.
In more detail
A while back now, I heard of this new game, Mothership. I’m not sure where, but I responded to a post about it from someone called Sean McCoy (on reddit? On twitter? I don’t know now). He responded by sending me a beta copy, for free. I was impressed by his obvious enthusiasm for gaming, and for this game. So much so that I bought the Players Survival Guide when it came out, to support it, but also because I enjoyed reading the beta version so much. For the same reasons many reading this subreddit do.
Since then I’ve collected a bit of stuff for the game, all in PDF. I switched to PDF for gaming a while back - I couldn’t afford the hardcopy of all the games I was interested in, and certainly not with shipping to Australia. And MoSh and the thriving community output was no exception.
One day I weakened. I made an exception. I supported the KS for the remastered Into the Odd. When it arrived I thought ‘wow!’ — so much fun, so much possibility, and in such a small, elegant, package.
I didn’t regret the price paid, and I decided that for special games I’d definitely see if I could one day get a physical copy, because I’d forgotten how much power a physical copy of a game (rules or supplement or both) can have on you to inspire, to play.
It didn’t hurt that ItO was similar in size to my original Traveller Little Black Books, the first RPG I ever owned. It was what prompted me to get the copy of Old School Essentials when I saw it in my local gaming store. I liked the look & feel, and that I now held in my hand one of the keys to old school D&D, in a form factor that felt good. I felt a similar buzz when I got Death in Space, and Corny Grón, and a couple of other titles.
So why all this ramble? Well today I got a mysterious package at the post office. I was just thinking I had to sort out the mess that is my email and track down where I am with different Kickstarters. I’d forgotten what I’d done with the MoSh KS and thought I was just down for new PDFs, because it was so long ago and I was thinking it was before my hardcopy epiphany courtesy of Into the Odd.
I initially thought it was something from Amazon. Nope, wrong packaging. Also, better packaged. What was it? Then I saw the box the A5 black box, like the original Traveller, but through the bubble wrap I could faintly read ’Mothershiip’.
I was stunned for a second. Then, ridiculously pleased with myself. It seems that during a year or more of mixed good & bad stuff, I’d made at least one good decision that is now paying off. I took a moment to enjoy just looking at the box and its contents, and think about what it makes possible.
Now I have to put it aside for a while. Life has gotten busy and I’m not going to be able to do anything with this for a while. But it reminds me so much of all the good times with Traveller and SF roleplaying back in the day. Much of it Alien & other SF mystery/horror inspired, to be honest, and not something I’ve played much of recently.
And again, I thought: ‘wow!’ — so much fun, so much possibility, in such a small, elegant, package.
Edit: fixing up some ridiculous mistakes and autocorrect

Hello Everyone,
I've done countless research and searched around, alot of answers and comparisons are from a bunch of years ago for alot of posts so I was curious if I could get some help for more recent times.
Currently I am using Sennheiser HD599se, had a bunch of 'gaming' ones but closed-back caused massive headaches plus I don't like the feeling. These were amazing but are falling apart, I kinda want to splurge a bit but nothing to crazy.
I am Canadian so it's a bit hard to get some exotic headphones - would prefer Amazon mainly if possible.
I currently want to use them for competitive gaming (high rank - prefer large sound-stage, wanted HD800s but saw price) and even single player games for a cinematic. Want to enjoy and have a warm fun kind of sound for movies or casual tv shows, want to enjoy music and have a all rounder.
Currently I'm a bit confused because I see now there are Planar Magnetic Headphones also but unsure if they are worth it or not.
Budget is ~$550 CAD if possible.
Currently I managed to find these:

1. Audio Technica ATH-R70x (Constantly hear about this but some people mention its muddy/over hyped)
2. Hifiman SUNDARA
3. Sennheiser HD 600/650 Open (I don't know the difference between the 650/600/600S2/6xx the names are confusing)
4. AKG K702
5. AKG 712 Pro
6. HIFIMAN Edition XS
7. Beyerdynamic DT 990 PRO
8. GRADO SR80x Prestige Series (Unsure if this brand is realiable/good?)
9. Philips SHP9500
10. Linsoul HarmonicDyne Zeus (Heard the wire's were fantastic)
11. FiiO FT3 HiFi Studio (These were hyped because of the massive drivers but unsure which ohm version and if they are hidden gems)
12. Audeze MM-100

Can someone please help me figure which one is the best or if there is something else that is open-back, is enjoyable to use without EQ'ing to much? Or even what the top 3 current ones are?
TL;DR: Budget: $550 CAD preferred Type: Open-Back Goals: Sound-stage/Clarity/Immersive/Good Bass (Not Main Focus) Main Usage: Competitive Gaming/Single Player Immersion/Music (Rap/Hip-Hop, R&B, Classical (Zimmerman/Interstellar Like stuff), Rock/Afro-beat Side Usage: Movies/TV Shows Prefer warm and rich sounds but not muddy, prefer clarity - can even be cool and airy.