So I (20f) met my ex fiance(22m) when I was living in TN and met him off of bumble and just before a year after dating we got engaged and shortly later we were getting kick out of my aunts house (very long story) so I was moving back to Utah to live with my mom while getting back on my feet. He followed with me to Utah. Shortly after we moved I ended up pregnant, we didn't think I could because we had went MONTHS with nothing but it turned out to be stress preventing my body from allowing pregnancy.
Everything was wonderful. Great sweet guy caring and thoughtful, not the best at communicating especially with his emotions. He was better than any person on social media as a support person during labor and shortly after, our som was in the nicu and I had a c section so it was rough. But he was amazing with it all! And a great dad and very involved and caring.
Then 4 months post partum I find out all this stupid shit.
This is our first son and there was complications and he's a little extra needy when it comes to food and gaining weight, he had a iugr and was 1 month premature. I was going to be staying at home to take care of our kiddo cause that was my dream and at the time he said he wouldn't be able to take care of kiddo by himself.
Well about 2.5 months into post partum he stopped being fully present, I was doing everything with the rare times he would do stuff. I thought everything was okay and he was struggling with post partum depression because he was still sweet, caring, loving and still seemed like he wanted to be apart of the family. Arguments started about him not helping around the house, him hardly helping with kiddo, and when I would try to wake him up he would lay there pretending to be asleep or yelling at me that he's not gonna wake up.
He started to live in his truck as I started to speculate cheating but couldn't figure out how to pin point it, and the engagement ring came off.
Small background when we were engaged and he pretty much was getting screwed over with a car his parents pulled a loan for when he was 16 but he was paying for it. He couldn't purchase a car and needed one asap so I helped by putting the loan in my name. Well shortly after kicking him out I told him if he couldn't get the loan in his name I'll have to get rid of the car cause of the dept to income for an apartment even if he pays on it as well as me being scared that he'd just screw me over.
One other back story i saw him texting a women on snapchat and I asked who she was (because previously there was multiple arguments about him needing to stop talking and unadd the same ex of his an another about him liking half naked women on instagram). He says that it's one of the people from his gaming group and she lived in a neighboring state, which turned out as a lie. One day when doing laundry at a mat I was loading up in the back of the car and saw him open a snap of hers and respond, both of them putting in a lot of effort in the photos (which he doesn't do for me). I get in and tell him that's not her being friendly she's trying to fuck you and be a home wrecker, hah I was right... but he tried to convince me she was a friend, I never believed it.
One day, the day before mother's day, before he got his vehicle he was needing a ride with the car to put stuff in his storage unit from the car. I was going to get a breather because things were getting emotional and he stole my car. Cops were called and some women had picked him up. It was the girl he said months ago is a gaming buddy. Later we talked and he said he wanted to work on us and he'd remove her, she knows he has a family and us just a friend and stuff like that. I didn't really believe him. Well he removed her then said he's gonna go for a drive to get fresh air and think, turns out he re added her then went to her work event.
Shitty part of mothers day, my first mind you, finding out I'm being cheated on, and then goes "she said happy mothers day btw" like why the hell are you talking to her when your "trying to make it up to me for the damage so my first mothers day ain't ruined." He admits "She's a friend" that he had went to a concert with, goes to the bar with and visits her on lunch. There was arguments of how that's not what friends do and beginning to ask him how many times did he fuck her. He kept trying to convince me she's just a friend.
Some time when buy with arguing about that and him going "I blocked her I'll follow your boundaries to fix this" then couple hours later re add her. I began talking to men and an old ex because having people to talk to even when it's not about the drama is how I cope and it kept me above water.
Mind you at this time he really hasn't asked to see his kid and hasn't really acknowledged him unless I say something. We also were broken up before I started talking to other people.
He got pissed that I was talking to other people and started yelling at me about it.
Well I was tired of "she's just a friend" arguments cause I knew something was off. One morning I left work early (my shift starts way early) I went home took his phone while he was sleeping and went through it. Yup confirmed that I was right the past couple months and shit. So I woke him up and was like I know now tell me.
His pitty excuse that I don't believe anymore but at the time did is: I had an ex back when I was dealing drugs in Florida ask if she can move with me to my home state on one run but I told her I couldn't cause I was still under age and living with my parents and she killed herself when I left because I didn't take her with me and her dad is abusive. Well he said one time when he went to the bar he saw her looking at him and then he went to smoke and then came back in the bar and she was still staring so he went to talk to her because he "didn't feel loved so why the fuck not"
Side note he was jealous of our infant son because (starting at less than 1 month old of feeling jelous) that I was giving kiddo all move attention and loving on kiddo and my cats. Because I was suffering PPD PPA and Post partum anger, he wasn't there for me and even yelled saying things like "you shouldn't feel that way, things happen and it's fine there's alternatives" when I would cry about things that were struggling with kiddo like breast feeding and things like that. Fucking jealous of an infant dude.
Then said that they only fucked twice and it started when he saw her at the concert and gave her a ride home because she was drunk and her friends left her. That was brought up because I saw her tiktok with her post him with them in the car. I said you could have bought her an Uber and I don't believe her friends left her. The truth later be told 1 month after I found out about him full on cheating was he got on tinder, met her, picked her up and took her to the concert, fucked her then came home.
He was constantly gone while I was taking care of our kid so he can fuck around many times.
Well I forgot most stuff because of my ptsd response and blockage but recently he had kept seeing her and I said I was done. One day he's begging to work on things and the next day he blocks my number saying he never wants to hear from me again.
This past week has been fucked. To put it short. He refused to see his son when I was available in between work and doctors appointments because he didn't want to move his date and he already has went over a week without seeing the little guy. He did this twice.
He kept trying to say I think we will work out and come back to each other in the future. Saying things like I wanna see where things go with Jessica, if they work out great if not great and then we can try on us. Saying he will wait for me and that he will compete with the other men that I talk to or date. And stupid shit like that.
I told him I was first I should have never been second. Told him if he continues to pursue her I will never be willing to wrap back around to this even years from now when he's done with his stupid manic episode. He's showing heavy heavy traits of bipolar.
Well anyways
When he was in kiddos life and I went back to work I would tap in on the Alex to check in since he would never answer me and I would hear kiddo awake for hours or crying for so long wanting food that I would constantly have to leave work. I have gotten a video of him saying he won't wake up to feed our kid from a recent event. Kiddo has torticolis in his neck causing flat head and he needs off of it as much as possible but he hardly ever was up so kiddo would be on his head from bed time at 8 to 9 pm all the way till he woke up at 12 pm on later days but no earlier than 10 am when kiddos wake up time that he actually wakes up at is 7 am. He's constantly drinking and admitted to drinking and driving on the way home from work. The first thing in his fridge at his apartment was beer and constantly going to the bars.
Even when I was around with kiddo he would almost never acknowledge him.
He's always threatened since kid was 1.5 months old (way before I knew about anything) he would just sign his rights away. Well just this past Friday he said he wanted to so I said I can print off the papers to fill out and sign so I did and Saturday after he slept on it, had a calm conversation about it, the papers were notarized and emailed to the courts.
He blocked my number even though he technically can't and doesn't give a shit.
I feel like I failed my kid. I promised I would never find someone that was going to be a father to my kid the same way my dad was to me and I failed. No one saw this everyone was like it was a flip of a switch cause he was over the moon for me and was so excited to be a dad and now he's saying things like she's worth loosing my family and never seeing the family again. I hurt for my son the most.
:((

I (17f) have an older cousin (23f) who lives with us and is in her last year of college, the problems came 4-5 years ago, hell, it could 've been even longer.
Some backstory, I am the middle child of 5 children, our parents split when I was 10 and we moved from house to house and my mom was struggling so we moved into my grandmother's house, it's a big house, but not big enough that it's not hard to maintain. And I'm still living here until now, we can afford to pay majority of the bills for the house so we aren't living here rent free. We aren't the only ones living here though, we live with our cousin and their parents, I have a cousin in her last year of college, Tia.
Tia has a lot of issues with our grandmother (91f), our grandmother is really old and sick and my grandfather passed long ago. My grandmother has a habit of favoritism, this isn't really and issue for me because I don't really care if she favors someone or not just as long as I'm taking care of her and she's happy. However, my cousins take a lot of issue with this and argue a lot with her and they shout a lot (my grandma needs to shout sometimes because she can't hear very well.) These arguments happen everyday with Tia, I understand being annoyed at my grandmother because she's an old woman but it's become worse to the point where my older cousin will make fun of her for not understanding.
(I used to defend her back then because I was stupid young and didn't really like my grandma, I regret this a lot because now my grandma means the world to me.)
Tia also takes a lot of issues doing chores, when, honestly, she has been doing nearly nothing. Not even cleaning her own room which f*cking stinks. Everytime she cleans is when something big is coming up, while me and my younger siblings have been cleaning everyday without complaining. Not even when she just walks all over our work or let's her pets around the house to make a mess. Yet, she has the audacity to complain about her parents asking her to help around the house too. Her reason is her school life is coming to an end, yet this is the same person who screamed at me for not sweeping the floors (because I wasn't able to rest well due to some school works,) and then proceeded to scream at me how I'm disrespectful and lazy. This does not happen only to me but also to my 2 younger siblings, who I'm trying to lessen the burden off. I love my siblings so much and I'd hate for them to suffer so I wake up early and do majority of the chores so they could do the easy ones like the dishes or arranging beds.
Tia also likes taking stuff, Tia once took my little sister's (Ella) turtle neck and stretched it out so much that it became very loose and made it almost unusable, Ella told them to ask her whenever they borrow her stuff because she's really small compared to them. Aside from this Tia ruined my LV bag, One that I got as a gift, she left it uncleaned and dusty. I tried taking it back but everytime it would just end back I her room. Tia just doesn't seem to care for other's things at all and doesn't ask to borrow anything, even my skincare. If I bring this up she just gaslights me into thinking I did let her borrow.
Tia doesn't also stop there, back when I was close with her, I used to be so sad when she'd isolate and ignore me because I used to love sharing about my whole day and stuff I learnt with her. I didn't see the red flags then but this used to push me to a bad spot mentally, to the point where sometimes I'd have panic attacks or start thinking of self-injury because of how bad I felt for anything I did. I was and still am a pretty talkative person, and I'm happy that despite what she did I still love sharing the new things I learned with people.
I was able to conceal my feeling until about last week, where I blew up at Tia in front of the dinner table. It started with me cussing at her, then progressed to me staying everything I hated about her. My mother tried suppressing me and that just made me angrier, my other cousins tried to touch me but I told them to stay away. I had only managed to say half of thr stuff I felt towards Tia. After that my mom kept asking me to forgive Tia and give her a chance, but honestly writing this and remembering all of what Tia said is just infuriating. I don't want to forgive Tia at all, not after everything she did to me. I hate that my mom wants me to forgive, to open my heart up, to be patient, to blah blah blah. I don't ever want to forgive Tia, not after everything she does. This isn't the only time she's been scolded, it's happen so many times and I can't seem to understand why she can't just be punished for once. Why do I need to forgive such a horrible person?
I just want to know if I'm thinking wrong? or I'm missing something?? or if I'm the problem??? I hate when they say I'm mentally unwell, I know I bottle up things but is it really mentally unwell if I just know this person is horrible and manipulates everyone around her to pity her? Because "oh I didn't know.." when clearly she does!! She may not see herself in the mirror but she's an adult who has a brain and can process what she's doing!! I'm just tired of seeing this kind of cycle and I'm tired of living in this house.

So I watched the show, and loved it, but I was left with a few questions. I'm guessing that either it's a plothole, it's yet to explained or I just forgot/didn't figure it out, so here goes nothing:
1- If the Shati can use the sophon to make people see a count down and make them commit suicide when the countdown ends why not just do that to everyone so that there's no opposition?
2- From what I understand the Shati only started to view humanity as an enemy when Mike Evens told them about lying, but then later on they say they sent the sophon from the start to disrupt all the colliders on earth and they also have it force scientists to stop working or commit suicide, so did they never see humanity as an ally or is there something im not getting? And if they never saw humanity as an ally why do all the stuff they did with Evans?
3- Why did the tests at the Chinese military base kill birds?
4- Why did the Shati's signal come from Jupiter?
5- Why did the Santi have to wait for someone to respond? With their level of technology couldn't they just go to any habitable planet? It not like humans necessarily have the same needed conditions on Earth the Santi need to survive.
6- Was it just me or was the whole nano cutter plan on the ship absolutely stupid? It's definitely a amazingly done scene but like wouldn't they be worried about the hard drive being sliced, burnt or damaged by the water? And what if the it wasn't a hard drive? What if it was a book that Evans wrote in? Idk maybe I just don't get it. Cool scene regardless.
7- why didn't the Santi do the camera manipulation trick they did for Tatiana on everyone and everything? Like Evans and the ship?
8- Do they explain how Tatiana get super strength or is it just alien technology?
9- Who's Edith March? She was shown at the end of the cemetery scene with Tatiana and Clarence.
Alright I think that's it. Thanks to everyone in advance for an clarification and please just say spoiler if the question is gonna be explained later.

The Context:

Andrew Rea is a cook, YouTuber, and author better known as Babish, famous for his cooking series Binging with Babish.
Recently, it was announced that Babish will be introducing a paywall for some new content. In addition, old websites with previously-free content were shuttered.
Babish has also come under fire for his sponsorships, with particular criticism over his promotion of the video game Hogwarts Legacy, considering the recent controversial statements from the series’ author JK Rowling.
Our drama starts as Babish himself takes to the sub to issue an apology for the rollout of the changes, attempting to justify and lay out the reasoning behind them.
While many are receptive to his explanation and find it sincere, others are not so ready to accept…

The Drama:

One user defends the criticism:

TL;DR: you're getting a lot of criticsm for your shitty business decisions, so you're playing the mental health card to turn down the heat.
Look, I'm sorry you're going through a rough patch, and I'm sorry you've gone through the things you have. But forgive me if I find it hard to shed a tear for you.
You can't expect a huge outpouring of sympathy for your mental health, and then turn around and push Betterhelp and a crypto gambling game. Those are both products that prey on your audience's mental well-being. So we're supposed to care about your mental health but you don't give a fuck about ours? Explain that one to me. As for the paywall, I don't care that much, but it's shitty that you didn't tell people it was going up beforehand.

I’m not emotionally equipped to be a public figure.

Should have thought of that before making your face the logo of your company.

Do you enjoy being an awful person?
His struggles are fairly well documented, personally, well before any of this happened
Just take 12 seconds and consider maybe this was an oversight?
It’s not like he’s fucking Brad Pitt with a team of 87 managers and PR folks. I’m sure he’s got a manager, but do you really think he’s got the same pull as an a-list actor to catch every small failure?
He’s a fucking YouTuber - a great one, in my opinion, but a YouTuber nonetheless. Humans make mistakes when they don’t have 36 people checking every ounce of their work.
Give him a little grace and maybe give everyone in your life a little. It’s not all a conspiracy, sometimes people just fuck up.

Do you enjoy not reading my comment? Yes, his mental health struggles are well documented. That's why I acknowledged them.
I'm not talking about the paywall. I'm talking about how he wants everyone to care about his mental health, but has said absolutely nothing in regards to the shitty predatory sponsors. And I'm not talking about his shitty "sorry you feel that way" post on YouTube and taking the video down. He can't just say "sorry, mental health" while ignoring the harm he's helped cause by not being selective about who he takes money from.

Oh fuck off you miserable nerd, if you don’t like how he makes money, you don’t have to participate or consume the content.
If you’re going to keep being salty about this despite an apology and a way to access the old websites then I suggest you look inward.

Read my comment again, I'm not angry about the paywall.

Sure.

Read my fucking comment again, asswipe.

[Continued:]

Did you change it?
If not, I'll pass on reading your angry rantings again. Theu weren't worth the first read through.

No, I didn't. Because I already said it's not about the paywall, dipshit.

Theu weren't worth the first read through.

Still worth it enough for you to respond and be an asshole though, I guess.
Edit: get blocked, douche.

Paywall paywall paywall.
You are obsessed.

I feel so sorry for you content creator dick riders lol

[…]

You’re acting like he owes you something. He doesn’t. We live in a different world now where companies are just faceless businesses anymore, and a lot of the things we consume are the product of single people or small teams. As a result, individual proclivities and issues are part of the new normal. If you have an issue with it; unsubscribe.

Yeah, he owes ot to us not hawk predatory sponsors and then expect everyone to give him a hug when he has mental health issues. But fuck me, I guess. Maybe I should make a post about how I've been struggling with depression my entire life so this sub can forgive me for daring to not give him a hug and a kiss on the cheek for it.

live in a different world now where companies are just faceless businesses anymore

It's a real shame he built his company off of his character and used his own face as its logo.

If you have an issue with it; unsubscribe.

Believe me, I will. I guess I thought when he finally apologized for his shitty business practices that he'd actually apologize, instead of ignoring the sponsorship stuff all together. I thought he was better than this.

Others stand to defend Babish:

Great job folks. You bullied this nice dude who has given you hundreds of hours of free labor.

If were being real he saw the post on mildly infuriating and made a whole ass response, which is insecure as fuck .
Also this is a post where hes admitting hes at fault and yall are telling him “no” which is funny as shit.

It’s “insecure as fuck” to address widespread criticism openly and honestly?

one guy saying bad things about you shouldn’t make you wanna write out a giant reddit post defending yourself yeah.
Who needs to be liked THAT much?

Not one guy, it was widespread backlash on multiple subreddits and from like all his fans. It would have been ridiculous not to respond

Criticism over shitty business practices (shilling products designed to prey on the mental wellbeing of your audience and introducing paywalls with no notice) isn't the same as bullying.

I mean grow up. You have no right to his labor. None at all. Notice? What is this, you're upset about his terms of service? Lol.

Babish isn't gonna fuck you, bro.

"I have no point but I have a funny"

[Continued:]

What point could I make that wasn't already addressed in my response to this parasocial weiner?
Babish made some shitty business decisions, people criticized them. That's not bullying. When people complain about McDonald's discontinuing a menue item, you never see people say "stop bullying the CEO :(". So why is it suddenly bullying when criticism is directed at a YouTuber for their shitty business practices? Yes, Andrew is a person. But that doesn't mean he's immune to complaints just because some parasocial crybaby thinks telling a person to do better constitutes "bullying".

Except if you read the comments on some of the posts people absolutely went well beyond criticism of the business decision to personal insults and vitriol that could indeed accurately be described as “bullying”.

Fair enough, but they made a general comment about how this sub bullied him, not just a few shitheels who took it too far.
cool but that wasn't what the person you told to "grow up" was doing, so why don't you stop huffing your own farts for a minute

I didn’t tell anyone anything? What are you talking about?

whoops, thought you were the OP in this thread, not just a random interjection like me. I'm cutting down on caffeine and it is not making me smarter

[…]

he isn't doing it for "free" mate, he's running a for-profit business. yes bullying is wrong, but people complain about businesses all the time.
Free labour, minus his YouTube revenue, sponsorship revenue, merch revenue...
There's wanting to encourage civility, but let's not jerk each other off here.
Or let's. I mean. It's a Saturday night and I'm alone. I'm open to talk.
Grow some balls lol

The knives are out:

Dude you've been up your own ass for years. When you first started blowing up and dragging your videos out - I nicely suggested you stop adding 5 minutes to the beginning of every video showing us how to make bread. I told you having a separate "Bread with Babish" and telling viewers to reference that would be better. You basically said I was stupider than frog excrement and shouldn't think. Like what? Then a few months later Basics with Babish comes out. Go fuck yourself.

Bro has main character syndrome, thinking Babish personally spites him and only him.
In the nicest possible way, touch grass. Maybe even read your comment out loud and you might realise how ridiculous you sound.
You’ve been carrying this grudge for what, eight years? Touch some grass.

"touch grass" is so overused and trite it makes me want to tear off my dick

Another brings up Babish’s Hogwarts Legacy sponsorship:

Can we get an update on promoting the transphobic wizard game, and apparently deleting comments mentioning trans people on the video?

Imagine what a sad life you live if you’re that triggered by a video game. Literally don’t play it. Why do you care if others play it?

Because buying the game is basically saying "This mid wizards game is more important to me than human rights, fuck gay people, fuck trans people, kill em all, i dont give a shit lmao".

Seek help.

You should seek help if you dontate your money to making the lives of others worse intentionally and give 0 fucks about it.

[Continued:]

You are what is wrong with society. Again, it is advisable that you the seek the psychiatric help that you require. (By the way, it’s a great game).

Glad to know im whats wrong with society and not the scumbags who gave money to anti trans charities. Just know while you're playing it that trans people are living worse lives because of you.

The lil smart phone that ur using right now that relies on cobalt, which was mined by little kids like those in the DRC without protective gear so your phone could have a battery. Just know while you’re sitting here being a keyboard warrior that thousands, if not millions, of little kids’ lives are getting worse because of you.

a.) Im not on a phone and do not own a phone.
b.) Theres a difference because you NEED a computer of some sort to function well these days. You do not need the wizard game.
c.) Theres a difference between supporting a company like that where they try to hide it and keep it from the public and openly supporting someone who basically just comes out and says "Yo btw if you buy my game ill use the money to kill trans people, thanks"

[…]

Imagine being privileged enough for someone enjoying/promoting a Harry Potter game to be what gets ur panties in a twist. I get Rowling is a shit show, but be fucking for real 🤦🏻‍♀️ I’m sure your phone is a product of child slave labor and I’m sure you buy a lot of shit that promotes even more terrible things. Get off your high horse and stop crying over first world problems.

Im sorry its considered being on a high horse for wishing people didnt support a disgusting fucking transphobic monster thats hurting fuckloads of people. Its not even like other companies where its semi hidden and you have to look for it, she's blatantly and publicly a transphobic scumbag piece of human garbage. If you don't know any better, sure, but when people are buying the game with the specific intent to support transphobia or don't care that they're giving their money to someone who who's publicly transphobic and openly supports bigots and the hurting of people, you're transphobic and probably terrible.

People like you don’t actually help anything. All you do is piss off ordinary people and make them less likely to care about the trans community. You’re just bitter and you feel better about accomplishing nothing when you sling garbage comments at people. Grow up and do something that actually helps the community. Spewing vitriol and calling people transphobic is not helping.

Someone is transphobic Gets called transphobic Surprised Pikachu face
So you want me to stop calling transphobic people transphobic?
Id rather not help at all than actively hurt the community, ruin people's lives, and fund charities that fight to give people less rights. At least I fight for human decency and people's rights and don't donate to this shit.

I’ll rephrase. YOU ARE ACTIVELY HURTING THE COMMUNITY BY MAKING PEOPLE LESS LIKELY TO SUPPORT. Seriously, stop it. You’re not helping, you’re hurting. You’re not the face of the community, you’re just shouting in the comments at people who just want to watch a guys YouTube channel about food.
”He supports JK Rowling.” No he doesn’t. The game is a game. Cry all you want about what she said, the rest of the community has been ignoring her for years.
“She donates against trans acceptance”. Yes, and she would anyway even if the game didn’t get made. She was already rich after the books, it’s a pointless argument based solely on your principles and not on doing any good.
You keep calling people transphobic, but they are not. Buying a video game is not transphobic. You’re delusional and childish. This conversation is over, leave these people alone and spend time figuring your own shit out.

[Continued:]

I dont know in what universe giving more money to be donated to anti LGBT stuff is not transphobic. "Yeah i give money to charities that murder children but i dont support child murder". Sounds insane right? Thats what you're saying. That just because you're giving money to support making trans people's lives worse that you're not transphobic. You're being insane. "She'd support it anyways so who cares!" is the most insane argument i have ever read in my life holy shit. xD

Hopeless and stupid. You may as well go vote for Trump, you’ll fit right in. Honestly at this point I think you’re paid to make the trans community look bad, it makes more sense than whatever other insanity you want to keep blathering. I’m just gonna block you, like every other rational person.
You gave money to the company that made your smart phone and therefor you support child labor since the whole phone, or at least pieces of it, were made from child labor. You’re a disgusting human being….you see how fucking delusional you sound, bro?

One user taps out:

I’m glad you addressed it, but I had to leave. Best of luck to your future endeavors and I hope lessons were learned.

And yet, here you are
This isn’t the airport. You don’t have to announce your departure.

what an original comment, you are so smart and funny and original for having made such a thought provoking post. I hope you print this comment out and frame it so that your children will learn to appreciate what an original thinker their parent is. are you the person who invented "touch grass" as well? big fan of your work

lol I can only imagine how sad your life is that this is how you spend your time

if you think it is sad that I am here on reddit, doing reading and commenting, I have some terrible , alarming news for you.

[Continued:]

lol yea that’s definitely what I meant 😂

One user still has issues, despite the apology:

Any amount of warning that you were planning to paywall the site would have made it a lot more palatable of a change. Doing it without telling people felt shady at best and deceptive at worst.

Yeah, and this is an acknowledgment and an apology. Seems a little cruel to keep dragging him at this point.

I guess it starts with a halfhearted apology. There’s no explanation for why it was sprung without notice.
It’s “yeah whatever guess I should’ve told y’all but here’s some more stuff coming up that you can pay me for”

here's some more stuff coming up that you can pay me for

Ah, so you're one of those people who feels entitled to infinite free content from creators.

It’s weird to me how many people think YouTube content is free. YOU are the product. Free means no monetary exchanges. Do you think Andrew makes no money from YouTube? Do you think YouTube makes no money from you? His videos are not free.

[Continued:]

Wow you are REALLY fucking dumb huh?

No but apparently you are. How does Babish not get paid from YouTube? Is every video he posts “free labor”?

[…]

No I just don’t think this should be portrayed as an apology when it’s really just an advertisement

Maybe he can post again so you can still be mad for some fucking reason

A slapfight breaks out:

I’m sure you have good connections but if you want some fresh eyes on your script, id be down to give some coverage. Why am I being downvoted so heavily? As an aspiring writer myself, I know how hard it is to get feedback on a project. I’m a fan and offering my time and energy. I don’t get what the problem is. lol wtf is this sub? Comments insulting people getting upvotes in a thread about how negative comments have affected someone is wild work. Fuck me for being interested in Andrew as a writer.

Same vibes as the dude who asked Elon to run Tesla who was a nobody
get outta here man lol
Because you’re a nobody lmao

Holy shit, just read through your comments and god damn are you miserable hahah.

meanwhile you're scouring the profiles of people who upset you, looking for mud to sling

Someone calls me a nobody, I gotta go see what mighty status they got in the world to be shitting on others lol.
He literally thinks babish is gonna choose him or something but instead he attacks me 💀

[Continued:]

Looooool you’re gonna play victim??? Aint no fucking way lol. You insult and disrespectfully gatekeep and now you’re the one talking about being attacked hahahahahaha fuck all the way off with that nonsense.

The Flairs:

• “parasocial weiner”
  
• “why don't you stop huffing your own farts for a minute”
  
• “It's a Saturday night and I'm alone. I'm open to talk.”
  
• “Babish isn’t gonna suck you off lil bro”
  

my sister, em (fake name), talks about her best friend, let's call him matt, a lot. i never thought much of it given the fact that they do really understand each otheare close in a way that i think is really great in a friendship and em was also in a pretty long term relationship up until about 2 weeks ago. PLUS matt is married and very clearly cares about his wife endlessly so i didn't see anything necessarily romantic there.. until this weekend.
for a little context i live in a different state than my sister so i didn't meet matt in person until this weekend at em & matt's graduation. matt got married to his wife, becca, a little over 6 months ago (i think), but they've been together about 3 years. becca was at his & em's show (theater school so they had performances/shows and graduation this weekend) so i met matt & becca there. they were both super sweet so, again, i didn't think much of it as it was a pretty quick meeting before we had to head out.
graduation was early the next day and i didn't notice anything too crazy at the ceremony. there was one moment when they were taking pictures together (just matt & em) and it was very... touchy, but again i think physical touch is a really nice thing to have in fully platonic relationships so, yet again, i didn't think much.
me, em, becca, and matt decided to go get lunch. we had a pretty good conversation flow, very comfortable energy, making jokes, being normal young adult stupid. it was chill, but, as much as i adore becca as a person, she seemed to be a little disapproving of a lot of matt's "quirks". and when i say quirks i just mean stuff like forgetting little things or singing the same song on repeat around the house (the smallest things yknow) and just reading it i realize it could come off as normal relationship banter, but it did feel a little strange in the moment (and you'll understand fully why i wanted to mention the "banter" in a second).
at this point i was realizing how connected matt & em really were. potential romantic interest aside, they really mean a lot to each other and you can absolutely see it.
while the 4 of us were walking to matt's car, my shoe came untied so i jokingly told em to fix it and she responded with something about only ever untying them (kinda an inside joke with friends, but she just unties everyone's shoes when they're not looking lol). i tied my shoe and me and matt ended up walking a little ahead of becca and em. matt immediately starts talking about how em always does it to him and how she did it when they went to the park (he was chasing her around and shit. idk). and AGAIN, whatever, it's none of my business how you categorize your feelings/relationships and i have no place to tell you what your standards and wants should be in a friendship... so whatever.
but the interaction wasn't what peaked my curiosity. it was the way he was talking. and the fact that every time the conversation naturally shifted he would change the subject back to em.
he cares so deeply for his wife. really cares. but i have never felt so much fondness in someone's voice, i have never seen so much light in someone's eyes, i have NEVER seen ANYONE speak with so much adoration for someone the way i did when matt spoke about my sister.
me and em went for ice cream alone a little later and she told me some things.
i'm not gonna say much about it because A) i don't know much anyways and B) it's not my place to say or try to connect dots, but she told me there are some pretty concerning relationship conflicts between becca & matt and matt is (from what i can tell) already questioning whether marriage was a smart decision.
hearing that i didn't immediately go "oh well ig i was right and he actually might be in love with you". i was more so realizing the little "quirks" becca seemed to not be a fan of were actually things they were seriously arguing about behind closed doors.
the reason i bring that up is because every time they fight it (from what i can tell) ends with matt being a "problem" and he fully caters to his wife, which, i can understand to an extent because she is disabled and has some mental struggles as well so there's a lot of fear on his part, but it's not an great situation regardless. i also bring it up because my sister said there was one instance where he had been down because of an argument/arguments and he told em "i've had more fun with you tonight than i've had with my wife in weeks"
he's also said stuff along the lines of "i love you so much i think it's unhealthy". and there was an occasion where em played matt & another mutual friend (calling him franklin) some songs she'd written. matt was like embarrassingly stunned and said he wanted to listen to her play (piano) forever and listen to her (not surprising tbh i've heard my sisters songs and she's wildly talented). franklin made a comment about how em "broke matt" and it kinda seems right because he brought up wanting to hear more of her songs completely unprompted (unless i wasn't paying attention lmao) today/yesterday
now i mentioned earlier em just recently left a long term relationship. she broke up with him, it wasn't messy or anything, they were just on very different paths in life, and she didn't feel very connected to him. em said she didn't really notice how "touchy" she and matt were until after the breakup. well, she did, but she thought "we're both in relationships so obviously nothings gonna happen".
after the break up she started to realize the closeness. said there been multiple instances where they're inches from each others face and just staring. definitely could be innocent, right? well yes! but also not when you can't stop looking at my sisters lips, bucko.
and then today happened. or yesterday, i guess.
they had their final show after graduation(it was amazing), everyone's crying through goodbyes, and the 4 of us (matt, becca, em, and i) plus franklin decided to hang out to stall the goodbyes.
there were a lot of moments that were very "holy shit whoever said soulmates aren't real never met you guys"
there were a lot of "fuck why am i happy just watching two idiots high-five"
and there was absolutely zero moments where i felt like matt would do any less than go to the ends of the earth for em and enjoy doing it
in fact matt quite literally said he would drive the entire way back to our hometown just to make sure em still talks to him
friendly kinda thing? sure! but not when you're laying with your heads together and while everyone staring at stars in the sky you are LOOKING AT EMS LIPS and ur WIFE is on the other side of her head.
i honestly don't think he knows he's in love with my sister. or at least he definitely wouldn't admit it until it's not considered fucked up. but i know.
and i really want to stress that i know people have different standards for what they want/need in romantic vs platonic relationships, but i can say with 100% certainty that matt is perfectly, undoubtedly, wholly, and unconditionally, in love with my sister. intentions aside.
i am a little scared for what happens when em moves in with matt (& becca) starting later this summeearly fall. as i said i don't think either of them would purposely do anything that could hurt becca, but i know "heat of the moment" impulses and i really hope it doesn't go that way.
she's not a homewrecker. he's not a cheater. i'm not worried about a full on side chick situation. but trying to diminish feelings is only gonna make them bubble over in a way that might have a not so fun aftermath.
god, they're both so perfect for each other and annoyingly good people. they deserve something good.
bec & matt will probably be visiting em (and me i guess) in our hometown at some point before then so maybe ill update this if i feel the need to say more then.
i'm not "rooting" for them to get together necessarily, but i really hope this doesn't get messy because whether it's platonic, romantic, anything in between, or anything beyond, they are the most supportive and gratifying pair of friends. they seriously deserve each other.
in whatever way life lets them love the other. i'm sure they will.
i'm not allowed to talk to anyone about this so i decided to go to reddit (as any normal chronically online kid does) and im realizing after typing this that there is a potential my sisters friend finds this
so
hey man. if you're reading this please know i understand i have no place categorizing your feelings (i know i already said it but i really can't tell you how to feel) but i can see how much my sister means to you. and no matter what you decide you feel, my sister just wants you to be happy. and i don't mean she'll "suffer in silence" and she'll always wish you'd have given her a chance, i mean she genuinely doesn't care whether you're friends or dating or scene partners or work spouses. she just wants to be around. she will love you in every way she can.
TLDR; my sisters friend is in love with her. maybe it'll never become romantic, but god i hope whatever happens they always have each other.

I need advice on how to feel/what to do/not to do besides the obvious that shouldn't need to be mentioned.
Basically I'm going to a wedding in a month and she asked if she could go so ofc I said yes. She's a friend I met online through mutual friends, insanely awesome but extremely introverted. Sadly I'm getting feelings for her and I don't know how to bottle them up. I'm terrified I'll say something stupid and the last thing I want to do is ruin a relationship with a best friend. She blatantly said no matter what she'd be happy in my company and even be fine if we shared a room together. I made sure to get separate rooms because I want her to be comfortable and have some privacy (shes been sharing her room for years) I don't know what type of advice I'm asking for, maybe something I could plan for us as a date/something to get sparks going? or even advice on a mental exercise to just keep it to myself? We'll be together for about a week near the country side so there's a bit we plan on doing already like capitalizing on nature or just watching movies through the night.
The wedding also involves a handful of online friends but not really mutual ones so I'll almost be forced to be by her side especially since she's introverted, I don't want her to feel left out.
She loves cats/animals (she manages a pet store), small little Mexican, loves nature, her favorite flower is tge alstroemeria, and even dinosaurs! Like actually. She constantly works out and on herself and I'm freaking out because I'm just a 5'8 white guy that weighs 130 soaking wet and broke. I got hit with every level of depression and anxiety over the past few years even started balding because of stress or at least id like to believe it's stress and I was not expecting something like this to happen. I was actually more then content with being by myself for the wedding and relationship wise after a terrible experience with an ex so now I'm fighting feelings I thought I could not get. I just need a tip, maybe someone to tell me to chill TF out. There's also almost zero indicators that would suggest she likes me so there's that. Our relationship originally started without me hearing her voice for 2 years. That is NOT an exaggeration or a joke.
If you've had experience with this sort of stuff, what happened? How did it go and what went wrong if anything? I understand everyone's different but to hear SOMETHING would be amazing.
Sorry for the book, I just need someone to help direct my anxiety or a wall to just vent to.

Saturday night I got a bowl of grapes and shared them with my dogs, (3yo Pitbull named Porky and 3mo German Shepherd named Buckley, Both Males) My mom's been in the hospital this past week and usually she'd tell me if anything i'm giving the dogs isn't good for them, she's finally home now and i had given them both some in front of her and she told me they're fatal for dogs, we looked into a lot of stuff and contacted a vet (our vet is closed right now so it was just a general vet) and he told us if their behavior became lethargic, they were vomiting or they had diarrhea that we should go to the vet immediately but since they had grapes over 24 hours ago as well we shouldn't be that concerned. This morning my dogs slept for way longer than i'm used to, i went to sleep with them and woke up at seven to let them out, my grandma let them in and i fell asleep. When i woke up at 2pm they were asleep and my grandma said after they ran around outside they came back to sleep with me. Buckley is still a puppy and i'm not used to him sleeping so long but I also don't really have a great concept of time, i'm worried this could be them both being lethargic. Porky is usually a heavy breather and Texas heat has been pretty bad but he's been hacking and coughing (My mom isn't worried about this because again it's not unusual for him, and he did have kennel cough for a minute after we got Buck from the shelter) It seemed like he was trying to throw up so i let them both outside. I wasn't overly concerned at the time because he gets excited easily and that happens but knowing what i know now this is concerning to me. Other than this they've been active and eating normally (Hills Science Puppy Bites, Blue Buffalo, & Chicken broth) Porky is still running and playing outside, but earlier when i went out and ran with them Buckley didn't seem too enthused about running and gave up pretty quick— which could've been attributed to him tired but again, paired with everything else is really concerning. Porky was even weird about the grapes at first and spit them out, but he's always been a picky eater so i didn't think it was weird. He started eating them after he saw that Buck liked them, i can't believe i didn't know something was wrong after that— He's always known what he can and can't eat and i was totally oblivious. I feel so stupid and i don't know what to do or how to fix this. Any advice is appreciated.

For a small bit of context, I work in a small (but relatively well-known) shoe brand in Australia as a keyholder (i.e. I have a key to the store and so can do stuff like opening and closing shifts). On Sundays (like today), we are open 10 am - 6 pm, so a pretty good 8 hours. Here's the story of how my day just kept getting better thanks to 3 different customers (apologies in advance for the length!)
\1. I got to work at around 9:55 this morning, leaving just enough time to do my start-of-day cash count, maybe opening like 2 minutes late. We had a new person do all day yesterday, and it was her first time doing EOD duties, so she wasn't too sure about the full procedure when it came to banking, so she left a note asking me to finish it off for her. No problem, meant I'd probably be opening about 5 minutes late. At this point, I noticed an old man in maybe his 70s standing outside our front door taking a phone call, which whatever, people stand outside our store for all sorts of reasons all the time, especially given our proximity to the escalators and the toilets
I finished fixing up last night's banking and EOD slip and got onto my SOD slip and cash count, at maybe about 10:03 at this point. I had all the cash out on the register, clearly visible through the windows (doors locked of course), so it's obvious I am doing important stuff. Old guy starts knocking on the front door, however I just ignored him as I counted the cash. He realises I won't look up from my count and comes around to the side door and starts knocking on that. Once again, I don't respond, just keep counting and writing down what I need to on my slip. He does this a few more times, back and forth between the doors and knocking, increasingly louder while I'm counting cash, during which time I realise I've miscounted (off by around $4), as a result of him trying to get my attention
By this time, it was around 10:07. I start checking increasingly smaller amounts starting at $2 coins, emptying the pre-counted bags to make sure I've counted properly, in full view of anyone going by. Old guy is STILL knocking. I eventually got my SOD all figured out and got the POS area ready for trading and started approaching the door at like 10:10. At this point, old guy has stopped knocking and is instead gesturing at his wrist, asking "what time do you guys open?" to which I give a vague "I just had some admin stuff to do". He looks at our shoes for about 30 seconds before asking if we have any belts to which I inform him we do, just next to the counter. Has a quick look before asking if we have anything similar to what he was wearing, which we didn't. He says he bought it at a store in the city (great, we live about 25 km south of the city so that's not helpful). I just apologise and recommend either [nearby menswear stores T and C] or [nearby department store M]. He walks off at 10:12. Why did you wait a whole 10 - 15 minutes for me to open, just to be disappointed that we don't sell what you're after (which by the way, our belts are also visible through the window)

1. Sometime after coming back from lunch, I had these two sweet customers (mum and daughter) come in and start looking around at shoes they wanted to wear for an upcoming holiday. I grab them the ones they were after and make sure the sizing is fine. Just before they came to pay for them, they wanted to quickly try on a pair from our clearance rack, so I suggested that we have several pairs under $50 there (for reference, our women's generally range from $100 - $300 and our men's around $150 - $250). They picked up a pair of the $38 heels we have which we just so happened to have in their size. In the end, the mother ended up buying a pair of sandals as well as some shoe care (very thankful for due to stupid $30 daily target). The daughter got two pairs of shoes, which meant I got a little shout-out from the owners for a "multi" sale. Overall they were very sweet and we had a good chat about their holiday plans :)
   
2. Around 4:45 pm at this point, a well-put-together man in his 30s comes in and just wants to try on a pair of European-made boots, which I grab for him while I help other customers. Eventually, he tells me he needs a replacement for another pair of boots of ours which he has owned in the past and so I start suggesting some options, going through maybe 5 or 6 different styles to find a few he liked. I grab those for him to try on and the whole time checking how each pair fits, and what he does and doesn't like about each pair. He ended up picking one of these pairs to get as well as the initial pair he came in for. At this point I thought the transaction was nearing the end, but he suddenly asked if I had one of the styles in any other colours too, to which I responded we had the tan and dark brown and got those to show him. He ends up trying on the tan and liking it, decides to get that and the original black pair which he wasn't too sure on. At this point now he is getting 4 pairs of shoes
   

For a bit of additional context, we have a "multi competition", essentially sell $800+ worth of shoes in one transaction ($500+ if you work at the outlet store) and get a $300 visa gift card! As I'm packing away the shoes I'm thinking "is this $800??" I knew a few of the pairs were just under $200 but wasn't sure of their exact prices. I get everything up to the counter and scan it all. $830. I was practically shitting myself at this point as I never thought the day would come were I would win the multi prize. I inform him of his total and ask if he is a member, which he is, so get that all put in. At the end of the transaction, I send him off wishing him an excellent evening before giddily sending off an email to the owners to let them know I'd hit the target! I was just so elated and shocked simultaneously, like "did I seriously just win this?!" That confirmation email practically made my night, to the point where I just stopped being mad at the customer from that morning, as this basically doubles my pay for the week
I honestly just cannot believe how amazing my day has been and how it's been able to go from a terrible start to a surprising but exciting end! It's days like these that I think make the job worth it, especially as a broke 1st-year uni student

Below you will find a weekly reminder of our Rules and partial FAQ. It's definitely a long read, but it's worth your time, especially if you are new to the community, or dropping by as a result of a link you found elsewhere. We periodically revise our rules, this weekly notice will help keep you informed of any changes made.
NOTE: These rules are guidelines. Some moderation discretion is to be expected.

Community Rules

1. Kindness Matters

Advise, don't criticize.

• Post with empathy, thoughtfulness, and constructive commentary rather than judgment. Don't be an asshole.
• Name-calling, slurs (including gender or race based slurs), and insults towards other community members will not be tolerated. Do not attack others for their personally held values, custody situation, marital status, physical distance from stepkids, or economic status; or on the basis of race, sex, sexual orientation, age, religion, or ethnicity.
• No name-calling toward children, including the above-mentioned insults or the term "skids", or terms such as "mini-wife" or "mini-husband."
• Comments advocating spanking or any mention of wanting to harm children are not allowed.
• This is a support sub, not a judgement sub, assholes are not tolerated. Comments with terms used in other subs to pass judgement on assholes will be removed.

2. No Drama

This is a support sub.

• Bickering, nitpicking, and thread derailment will not be tolerated and will be subject to removal at moderator discretion.
• Do not repeatedly badger a poster demanding answers, or refuse to acknowledge an answer that's already been given.
• Do not use sensitive issues from past posts (either from this sub or other subs) to attack another user, as we are all discussing vulnerable topics.
• Crossposting anything from /stepparents to any other subreddit might result in a ban and may result in the original thread being locked. Brigading our sub will result in an immediate ban.

3. Report, Don’t Rant

No backseat modding.

• If you see someone breaking the rules, report the post or comment to the mods rather than engaging them in an argument. Failure to do so may be subject to comment removal at moderator discretion.
• No meta posts complaining about rude comments, DMs, or general sub issues.
• If you think someone is a troll or previously banned user, either use the report function or message the mods to direct their attention to the issue.

4. No Naming & Shaming

No userpings or links.

• Tagging/pinging users or other subreddits in an attempt to bully, harass, or complain will not be tolerated. Do not tag other subs, ever.
• If you want to complain about another subreddit being hostile to stepparents, do not name the subreddit. "Other parenting/advice/judgement subs" will suffice.

5. No Platitudes

Nobody knew what they were getting into.

• Comments like "You knew what you were getting into", "Love them, love their kids!", "They're a package deal!" and "You have to love them like your own!" will be removed.
• Comments suggesting that OP is not cut out for stepparenting will be removed at moderator discretion.
• Comments like "This is just a part of parenting, deal with it!" will be removed at moderator discretion.

6. No Trolling

We have zero tolerance for trolls.

• This is a support sub. Our subscribers do not have the time, nor inclination, to provide support to internet trolls. Posts that are suspected to be trolling attempts will be immediately removed, and the poster banned.
• Concern trolling, devil's advocating, gish-galloping, sealioning, and general asshattery are subject to immediate removal and banning without warning or notice.
• Any attempt to circumvent the ban by creating a new username will be reported to reddit admins and possibly result in account suspension.

7. No Personally Identifiable Information

Use discretion when posting.

• We highly recommend using a separate account for support subs to help prevent being doxxed. Do not post any information that may allow others to figure out your identity.
• Do not post photos of children, or any other photo that could be used to identify you or another user on the sub.
• Any image that contains a name or other identifying information should have the name or identifying information blurred out. This includes drawings, notes, and screenshots.
• Do not link to social media or any articles/blogs where you or another user on the sub is mentioned by name.

8. No More than 2 Posts per 24 hours

Use the daily threads.

• We are not a huge sub, but we are no longer a small sub. If you have multiple grievances to air, use the daily discussion threads instead of multiple posts.

9. Follow Reddiquette

Remember the human.

• Adhere to the same standards of behavior online that you follow in real life.
• Read it in full here.
• Downvoting is reserved for comments that don’t contribute, and shouldn't be used to indicate disagreement.
• If you believe someone is in violation of the subreddit rules, please either use the report function or message the mods to direct their attention to the issue.
• Suspected brigading will be reported to reddit admins.

10. No Porn, Spam, Blogs, or Research Studies/Surveys Without Mod Approval

Just don't.

• This is a SFW subreddit. Posting pornography will result in immediate post removal and permanent ban.
• Advertising on the subreddit (outside of Reddit's own advertising) is not allowed.
• No personal blog posts are allowed without express moderator permission.
• No advertising without prior mod approval.
• No asking for money/posting fundraisers/etc.
• For links to parenting research studies or surveys, please message the mods for permission before posting.

11. Disputes in Modmail Only

Don't argue with the mods on the sub.

• Any issues specifically related to how a mod is moderating should be addressed to the full moderating team via mod mail. This ensures that all mods are aware of any concerns and prevents disintegration of the topic thread at hand.
• This means to do not message or send chat requests to individual mods. All discussion and complaints about mod actions need to be done in mod mail ONLY. Failure to follow this rule can result in an immediate permanent ban.
• Comments in threads asking about mod decisions are subject to removal without notice.

12. Moderator Actions

We aren't kidding.

• Users are expected to know the rules before posting. If you are warned or banned for violating the rules, ignorance is not an excuse.
• Moderators will remove posts and comments and/or lock threads in accordance with the rules above. Typically this happens when threads have gone off-topic in a way that is not productive for the OP, or comments overall have become contentious or disrespectful.
• If a poster continues to argue or to willfully violate these rules, temporary and permanent ban procedures will be followed. Any attempts to avoid or bypass temporary bans will result in a permanent ban. User bans will not be discussed in the sub. Questions posted about user bans are subject to removal and the poster subject to warning/ban procedures. The mod team will not discuss a specific user ban with anyone other than the user involved.
• New accounts are subject to manual approval until they are no longer deemed "new" by the mod team. This helps to weed out trolls and ban evaders.
• We rely on Automoderator to scan for specific words and phrases that are not welcome here and notify the mod team to review the comment or post. This includes slurs of any type and platitudes such as "Love them as your own!"
• The mod team uses a combination of blacklisting and banning when dealing with trolls.
• We employ the use of a bot that automatically bans anyone who comments in subs that have historically harassed our users. If you are picked up by the bot for telling trolls to get fucked, reach out via mod mail and we'll get you sorted out.
• The rules above as well as ban procedures are considered guidelines only; some deviation may be necessary on a case by case basis and/or at the mod team's discretion.

13. Ban Procedure

These actions are at moderator discretion.

• Pornography will result in an automatic permanent ban.
• Extremely egregious content will result in an immediate permanent ban.
• You may receive a 7 or 30 day temporary ban for first and second rule violations, depending upon severity.
• Continued rule violations will result in a permanent ban.
• Willful attempts to avoid or bypass temporary bans will result in a permanent ban.
• We recognize the reddit site-wide rules of using alt names to get around bans and will ban those as well as report them to reddit admins.

​
​

FAQ - About the Rules

What does Kindness Matters mean?

• Shortest version? Don't be an asshole. People come here for support and advice, they do not come here to be yelled at or told they are the reason everything is going sideways. There are ways to point out that someone may want to do some reflection on their own actions and reactions without being an asshole about it.
• The purpose of this subreddit is to provide support and a sense of belonging for struggling stepparents. We aren't here to pass judgement, but rather to offer support, empathy, and constructive commentary. That does not include "hard truths" or "tough love." Stepparents get enough of that in every other subreddit, we're not passing it out here. Be respectful.
• Remember, most people aren't going to come to a sub like this when everything is going great and everyone is getting along. People are coming here when they are down, when they are feeling defeated and stretched to the limit. Kicking someone when they are down is shitty behavior and we don't tolerate it.

What about being kind to the kids?

• "Won't somebody think of the children?" Pearl clutching isn't needed here. If you read the Kindness Matters rule closely, you will see that there is a clause in there about name calling children. We don't allow it. We also don't allow people rolling in telling OP that they feel sorry for their stepkids because OP is feeling overwhelmed and overloaded.
• If anyone is advocating slapping, spanking, or any other form of violence, report the comment immediately. We do not advocate violence towards children of any sort. The mod team does not advocate any sort of physical punishment at any time.
• Venting about behaviors is not the same as insulting the kids. However, if you see a post or comment where kids are being name called or dragged to the point of no return, use the report button. We try to catch the posts and remove them before they hit the sub, but we cannot see every comment without your help. Use the report button to bring problematic comments to our attention. Don't engage in a war of words on our subreddit.

Why is this sub such an echo chamber?

• Not allowing contributors to pile on and tell OP that they are a terrible human being who should never be around children does not equate to being an echo chamber. Many contributors here will offer OP suggestions to help them work through their resentments and frustrations, and the most egregious situations are called out. We simply ask that it be called out with respect.
• If you feel that a post is simply too much for you to handle without following the rules, move on to another post.
• If you believe that a post itself is crossing the rules report it. If the mod team has approved the post, it is because the mod team believes that the OP needs help from the community or needs a moment to vent and move on from their vent. That does not give you license to pile on disrespectfully. Unless it is proven that OP is a bot, assume that OP is a human being with real thoughts and feelings and has posted from a place of vulnerability.

Why can't I tell OP that they are an asshole?

• Because this isn't a judgement sub. We aren't AITA, we don't want to be AITA.
• Comments with terms like YTA, NTA, ESH, NAH will be removed.
• Don't start your posts with INFO either. We generally recognize that as a fishing attempt for more information to pass judgement on OP, and again, we are not a judgment sub.

But OP asked if they were an asshole?!

• Their post somehow got past our automoderator. Just use the report button. We will address it with OP.
• If you've asked if you are an asshole, a-hole, a*hole, a**hole, whatever, don't be surprised if your post is removed without warning. This isn't a judgment sub. If you want judgment, you know where to go.

What is a gendered slur?

• While it seems that everyone understands what racist slurs are, people struggle understanding the concept of gendered slurs. Generally speaking, we are talking about derogatory nouns or verbs that are used to negatively describe people or situations based on gendered terms.
• We've gone back and forth on this a few times, and the truth is, we get it, it's your safe space and you want to be able to vent about BM/BD how you want to vent about them, without us telling you how to vent about them. Fair enough. Vent away. What we are going to stick to here how people are referring to other users and to stepchildren.
• Examples that are not allowed:
  • "My SD is such a little bitch."
  • "She dresses/acts like a slut."
  • "My SS acts like a pussy."
  • "My SS is such a beta male."
  • "You are all fucking whores."
  • "Any dude who is raising some sluts kids is a cuck!"
  • "Little Lord Fauntleroy over here thinking he runs the house!"
  • "You're just the bangnanny, get used to it."
• Don't call users here names, don't call stepchildren names.
• Masking the term with asterisks or other neat little tricks might get you around the bot, but if we see it, we're removing it and quite possibly giving you a time out. The intended word is still there and you deliberately tried to skate the rule.
• As there is not enough space to list every term that is offensive and does not belong, nor every situation in which term or phrase may be allowable in context, this rule is enforced based on moderator discretion.

Seriously? You are the language police now?

• We're here to talk about stepparenting. And we would like for that to happen in a respectful way. Attacking each other doesn't help. Belittling stepchildren draws in trolls who don't understand your frustration, all they see is an evil stepmonster talking shit on the internet about a poor, innocent baby. Yes, even if that "poor, innocent baby" just robbed you blind and set fire to the house on their way out the door. That's just how it goes.
• We are aware that this is a relatively new rule and a lot of older posts and comments contain a lot of problematic language, including some from mods themselves. We are growing and evolving, and rules change as the sub grows and evolves.

What does No Drama really mean?

• Pretty much what it says, do not bring drama from other subs into this sub. Do not engage in vote brigades. Do not try to incite other subscribers to riot in a different sub. Don't follow posters into this sub from other subs to continue to harass them. Do not badger someone or derail threads. Do not harass community members because you don't agree with them. There's enough drama in the daily lives of subscribers, more isn't needed.

What is thread derailment?

• When a comment chain has devolved to the point where all you are doing is arguing back and forth with someone about the same thing over and over again, you have derailed the thread. Also known as bickering. It's what children do. We assume if people are in a stepparent role they are adults. We expect you to act like it.
• If you aren't a stepparent, or in a stepparenting role, consider that perhaps this subreddit isn't for you. If you want to participate, do so with respect. Thread derailment, arguing, bickering, and nitpicking are not allowed.

But what if they didn't answer my question?

• No one has to answer your questions. This is a support sub, not an inquisition. Jumping on a bandwagon with "OP is evading the question" in a 20 comment long chain is the epitome of thread derailment. You'll find more information about trolling below and how this might be considered such.

Why am I being silenced? I'm just asking for a back and forth!

• Thread derailment, badgering, and nitpicking are considered harassment. Continued harassment of either community members or mods will get you banned.

Why can't I look at someone's post history and comment about it?

• No mod in the history of this sub has ever once said post histories are forbidden. What we do frown upon is using someone's post history to attack, belittle, or otherwise harass someone.
• Example Post: "My stepkid's mom really hates me. How can I make this better?"
  • Okay: "Based on the timeline and your post history, it looks like this may have started as an affair. Unfortunately there's going to be outstanding issues for a long time due to that. Try focusing on yourself and how you can move forward without worrying about how someone else feels about you."
  • Not Okay: "Holy shit! You were the OW! What the hell do you expect, homewrecker?!"
• Example Post: "I am completely overloaded and feeling very down about myself."
  • Okay: "In your post history you mentioned that your spouse wasn't really helping around the house. Has that changed at all?"
  • Not Okay: "LOL, you already got the answers you need in your post on relationships. You are stupid for sticking with your lazy spouse."

Why can't we crosspost stuff to other subs?

• We can't stop you from doing so. The problem isn't that something has been crossposted, it's when the community that it's been crossposted to feels the need to come over here and harass OP. When we see that happening, we lock the post and start passing out bans. If you did the crossposting, you'll be banned. If you participated in the brigading, you'll be banned.

What if it's my own post?

• Again, we can't stop you from doing so. We prefer that you don't technically crosspost, but rather just copy and paste your post. Why? Because inevitably the above will happen. Redditors from other subs will follow you back to /stepparents and start attacking users here. It just happens.

What is "brigading"?

• Reddit defines vote manipulation and brigading as follows:
• Using multiple accounts, voting services, or any other software to increase or decrease vote scores.
• Asking people to vote up or down certain posts, either on Reddit itself or through social networks, messaging, etc. for personal gain.
• Forming or joining a group that votes together, either on a specific post, a user's posts, posts from a domain, etc.
• We, along with pretty much every other subreddit that has ever had to deal with this nonsense, further define brigading as this: You saw a post on another sub that linked to our sub either via a link in a comment or a crosspost. It was basically saying something along the lines of "OMG, check out these assholes over on /stepparents! They literally hate all their stepkids!" And then you and your friends come over and start hammering on OP and telling OP how much they suck. Congrats, you have just participated in a brigade.

What is this whole Report, Don't Rant thing about?

• If you see a post or comment that breaks the rules, instead of engaging, report it. When you report it, it sends notification to the mod team. We will act on it where appropriate. Engaging with bad faith users may result in your comments being removed. If you repeatedly do so, you may end up being banned.

What if I see an obvious troll?

• Report it.

What if they are being really mean in comments?

• Report it.

What if they are harassing me in private messages?

• Step 1: Report them to admins. You can report harassment to reddit by using this link or send a DM to reddit admins. Include the link to the DM, admins can see your inbox and providing a direct link is helpful for them to weed out bad actors.
• Step 2: Block the person so they cannot directly contact you again.
• Step 3: Send us a mod mail and let the mod team know. Tell us who they are and what they said, send us a screenshot if you can - admins can see your DMs, mods can't. We'll take action where necessary by banning from the sub if they aren't already banned.

What do you mean by No Naming & Shaming?

• Just as we prefer to not be linked to or crossposted from, we do not allow linking to or calling out other subs by name. If you see something you want to share, say it's a hot post that has hit the front page and a stepparent is being absolutely flayed, just refer to it as "that hot post that hit the front page." If you want to complain about other places in general, "other parenting/advice/judgement subs" will suffice. Absolutely under no circumstances should you link to anywhere else.

I can't link to other subs?

• Do not directly link to another sub. (e.g.: "/insertsubnamehere is ridiculously hostile to stepparents!")
• Do not name other subs. (e.g.: "I won't link to it directly, but insertsubnamehere is ridiculously hostile to stepparents!")
• Do not abbreviate other subs. (e.g.: "I know that ISNH is ridiculously hostile to stepparents!")

I can't ping other users?

• Do not summon another user with a username ping/tag. (e.g.: "insertusernamehere was being an asshole.")
• If you are agreeing with someone, it is okay to link to them. (e.g.: "I agree with insertusernamehere, you need to take a couple of steps back and reflect on this.")

What does No Platitudes mean?

• Sanctimonious, overused clichés that grossly oversimplify the stepparenting experience are neither wanted nor allowed here. We have all heard it a thousand times before, we don't need to hear it again. It's not nearly as insightful and wise as some would like to think.

Why don't you people understand it's a package deal?

• Any comment that suggests that OP should have known what they were getting involved with, or that they needed to understand that the kids were part of some package they needed to accept before signing up for marriage is subject to immediate removal.
• This is one of the most insensitive things you can say to a stepparent. Most stepparents were aware of the children, but they were probably not aware of all of the family dynamics.

Why can't you just love them like they are your own?

• Demanding that a stranger you do not know love children that are not biologically theirs as if they were theirs can be incredibly damaging to someone who is already in a vulnerable situation. Any comment that falls along these lines will be removed.

What do you mean by No Trolling? I was just...

• No means no. No trolling. No pretending to be a stepparent and then whipping out the Greatest Hits Bingo Card of The Worst Stepparent in the History of Stepparents. We see you. We've seen you a thousand times.

What does "concern trolling", "gish-galloping", and "sealioning" have to do with stepparenting? This isn't a debate sub, why are you using debate terms?

• That's absolutely right, this isn't a debate sub. And yet, here we are, day after day, having to defend ourselves against this sort of thing. So, enough. No more. Usage of any of these things will get you banned.

What is "Concern Trolling?"

• A concern troll is someone who disingenuously visits sites of an opposing ideology to disrupt conversation by offering unwanted advice on how to solve problems which do not really exist.
  • Example Post: OP expresses concern that she will feel, and possibly act, differently towards her stepchildren after her husband decides that no, he doesn't want anymore children after all.
  • Example Concern Troll pulled from actual mod mail after their comment was removed: "Possible child abuse claims need to be sorted out well before whatever empathy you believe the OP was looking for."

What is a "Devil's Advocate"?

• "I'm just playing devil's advocate here, but have you considered that maybe BM is just really tired and needs a break, too?" BM has dozens of different mom based subs alone on reddit she can complain on, this sub is for stepparents. The stepparent doesn't need to consider that maybe BM is just really tired and needs a break.

"Gish-galloping?" What does that even mean?

• The Gish Gallop is the fallacious debate tactic of drowning your opponent in a flood of individually-weak arguments in order to prevent rebuttal of the whole argument collection without great effort. The Gish Gallop is a conveyor belt-fed version of the on the spot fallacy, as it's unreasonable for anyone to have a well-composed answer immediately available to every argument present in the Gallop.

And "sealioning?" What's that?

• Sealioning involves jumping into a conversation with endless polite, reasonable questions and demands for answers, usually of entry-level topics far below the actual conversation (e.g. "please prove sexism exists"). This tactic differs little from harassment; instead of discussion, the point is to derail discussion, receive criticism (for their ignorance) so as to look like a victim, or to make someone feel overwhelmed and quit talking.

Who gets to define what is considered asshattery?

• The mod team, of course! If we feel that comments are out of line, are trolling, are leading up to a fight or "just asking questions", we are going to remove them and most likely ban the offender.

​
​

FAQ - Sub Questions

Posting Guidelines for Stepparents

• Body text is required, we suggest you use line breaks between paragraphs as a wall of text is difficult to read. Posts that have only a title are likely to be removed. Instead of using names (even fictitious ones), try to use the sub acronyms. It helps our users to follow along if you use the acronyms and not names.
• Assign a post flair that accurately describes what your post is about and what you are seeking. If you are posting an update from a previous post, include a link to that post.
• Flairs are applied to posts to determine what a person is looking for. When submitting a new post, you should choose a flair that specifies if you are looking for advice, support, etc. The following link flair is available and is color coded with side bar links so that you can search by flair:
  • Advice - For when you are specifically asking for advice or help.
  • Announcement - Mod Use Only, for subreddit announcements.
  • Daily (Formerly TTP) - Mod Use Only, for our daily discussion threads.
  • Discussion - A little advice, a little "How does your family handle this?"
  • JustBMThings - Pretty sure this is self explanatory!
  • Legal - Asking for legal advice? Tag it with this!
  • Miscellany - Just a sort of off topic thing? Use this tag.
  • Resource - Sharing a good resource or asking for one? This is the tag you need!
  • Support - For those days when you want nothing but a good old fashioned cry and some community love.
  • Update - Updating us on something that you posted about previously? Use this one!
  • Vent - We all need to vent sometimes. Respect the tag as a vent. This isn't how OP talks all day every day.
  • Win! - Celebrate those wins with us with this tag!
  • Megathread - Mod Use Only, for large mega threads (typically around major calendar events.)

Posting Guidelines for Bioparents

• Stepparents is a support community for stepparents, by stepparents. As bioparents, you may want to have more insight into how the stepparent in your life feels or thinks. You may have questions on how to ease the transition for your partner. However, please keep in mind that this community was not created for you. It was created for your partner or your ex's partner. If you are seeking support on how to deal with a stepparent, there are other subs more suited for your situation and your post is subject to removal.
• There are some posts from bioparents we will accept:
  • Seeking advice on how to support your partner as they navigate stepparenting
  • Seeking resources to help you better support your partner
  • Seeking resources for your partner
• There are some posts from bioparents we will not accept:
  • Complaints about how the stepparent is too involved in your kids lives
  • Vents about how the stepparent is not involved enough in your kids lives
  • "Cautionary tales" advising stepparents to back off
  • Seeking advice on how to tell the stepparent to back off
  • The Do's and Dont's of Stepparenting
  • How your kid's stepmom is literally The Worst
• Comments from bioparents that are helpful and supportive are welcome and appreciated. Comments from bioparents that are not helpful or supportive are not welcome and subject to removal. There are several other subs that may meet the needs of bioparents better than we can. We recommend /coparenting, /parenting, /parents, /blendedfamilies, and /singleparents as starting points.

Guidelines for Stepkids

• At this time, we do not generally accept posts from stepkids. Comments from stepkids that are helpful and supportive are welcome and appreciated. Comments from stepkids that are not helpful or supportive are not welcome and subject to removal. If you are a stepkid seeking support, we highly recommend /stepkids. It is a very supportive community specifically for stepkids. We also recommend /blendedfamilies as another potential group for support.

What the heck are all these acronyms? I'm confused!

• Check out the Common Acronyms wiki page. We try to keep this updated as new terms are introduced to the sub.

Why aren't my posts or comments showing up?

• New posters and accounts go through a waiting period before their posts will show in the sub and the comments on posts automatically. During the new account approval period the mod team will check posts to be sure you aren't attempting to circumvent a ban with a shiny new account. Please be patient while the timer runs down on your "new" status and the mod team approves your posts and responses.

Why was my comment removed?

• Comments are removed when they do not follow the rules of the sub. These rules are published in several places for your reading pleasure.
• Comments are removed at moderator discretion. In some cases your comment may be removed while another remains up. If you find this to be the case, and you believe the comment to be violating the rules, instead of arguing with mods or demanding they remove the additional comments, just report it.

This comment/post is really offensive! Why is it still up?

• All moderators are volunteers and have busy real lives. Sometimes things get past us. The best thing you can do is report anything you find offensive or inflammatory. It's the quickest and most reliable way of alerting us to an issue.

I've received a hurtful/unwanted PM from someone about my recent post. What should I do?

• If you receive an unwanted/hurtful PM from a name you don't recognize, please report it to Reddit Admins using our handy pre-populated form. Be sure to include the permalink to the message. We've been dealing with a few unhappy folks who like to attack stepparents, and reporting it to the admins is the only way to make it stop.

What are the general moderator guidelines?

• Users are expected to know the rules before posting. If you are warned or banned for violating the rules, ignorance is not an excuse.
• Moderators will remove posts and comments and/or lock threads in accordance with the rules above. Typically this happens when threads have gone off-topic in a way that is not productive for the OP, or comments overall have become contentious or disrespectful.
• If a poster continues to argue or to willfully violate these rules, temporary and permanent ban procedures will be followed. Any attempts to avoid or bypass temporary bans will result in a permanent ban. User bans will not be discussed in the sub. Questions posted about user bans are subject to removal and the poster subject to warning/ban procedures. The mod team will not discuss a specific user ban with anyone other than the user involved.
• New accounts are subject to manual approval until they are no longer deemed "new" by the mod team. This helps to weed out trolls and ban evaders.
• We rely on Automoderator to scan for specific words and phrases that are not welcome here and notify the mod team to review the comment or post. This includes slurs of any type and platitudes such as "Love them as your own!"
• The mod team uses a combination of blacklisting and banning when dealing with trolls.
• We employ the use of a bot that automatically bans anyone who comments in subs that have historically harassed our users. If you are picked up by the bot for telling trolls to get fucked, reach out via mod mail and we'll get you sorted out.
• The rules above as well as ban procedures are considered guidelines only; some deviation may be necessary on a case by case basis and/or at the mod team's discretion.

I've been wrongly banned/Why can't I comment here?

• Due to an influx of harassment from users with specific user histories, we have employed a user history ban bot as described above. If you think this has affected you and wish to appeal, please message the mods.

Why was I banned without warning?

• There are numerous reasons that the mod team might opt to move perm banning without warning. Message the moderators if you have specific questions.

Hello everyone, I'm a bit new to true data hoarding and I had made what is probably considered rookie mistakes.
Some backstory: I had an unfortunate ssd failure which cost me about $1000 to recover the files. After some research I've decided to set up a NAS w/ RAID1 (and other back up methods). Now I have some questions to help me transition/transfemigration from my old external hdd setup to my NAS solution.
My first question mainly revolves around keeping file integrity when transferring files. What programs are best at doing this? I've done some research and I've currently chosen TeraCopy. It looks pretty good; other posts have suggested stuff like Robocopy but I couldn't find/get it to work (maybe it's command line stuff that, though I admittedly didn't look too hard since I don't trust inbuilt windows stuff that much). How good is TeraCopy and its file integrity verification?
My second question is about checking files for corruption, mainly videos. This one is a bit of a shot in the dark, a hail mary hope of mine that I can fix this headache inducing rookie mistake of mine. Long story short, I had to reinitialize my NAS due to changing its setup. When doing this, I copied data I had on the NAS to a ext HDD (no verification done, I now know it was a stupid rookie mistake) totaling approx 3.5 TB of data, mainly video files (probably around 1k hours). Now I found at least 1 of them has a bit of corruption, where about 20 seconds got messed up. Is there a way or program that can find these kind of problems with files? I'm guessing probably not, but if there are potential solutions I'd love to find them. Otherwise, I guess those errors/problems will just exist and years later I'll find out and lament that if I knew years ago I could have replaced those files but not when I do.
Thanks for your help and I'll reply if I have any follow up questions.

Hey
So I’m a surgical nurse. Sometimes my schedule is awesome and sometimes it can get busy. It’s a part of the job haha.
Anyways,it haven’t really affected much about our relationship so far. I attend all her family events and gatherings I get invited to. And we spend a lot of time together during the week or weekend both. I always find time to be with her.
Now next weekend is her parents birthday party on Saturday. I’ve been working a lot these past two weeks but that’s mainly because I asked for a couple days off during that weekend and on Friday too so we can help with prep if needed.
Today I woke up to a call from my boss. My coworker’s mom suddenly died. I’m 28 this coworker is around 30. Her mom was still a young healthy woman. But they were out by a swimming pool and she had a heart attack if I understood it correctly. They did CPR on her with paramedics for an hour but unfortunately it didn’t help. My boss asked me to come in this Wednesday in stead of this coworker. I said yes of course that’s not an issue give her all the time she needs to grief. This coworker also has a Sunday shift. And I said in case no one can take that shift (we are seriously understaffed) I can come in but I’ll be after the party so maybe a bit tired hah. It could work, I’d just have to leave the party early which starts in the afternoon. Like I would leave around midnight to get a couple hours of sleep.
But since that call my gf was cold to me. Telling me there’s no way I’m taking Sunday shift etc. I tried to explain there’s only a very minimal chance I will have to. But in case I have to I will obviously cover for this person. This coworker is one of the few people that always helped me when I needed help.
Whole morning was terrible. She was angry and I told her she’s being selfish. That stuff like this happens and we need be at least a bit empathetic. Then she went off at me saying my boss isn’t stupid for doing what she can to keep me from leaving for a different hospital. Because I’m always ready to come in work and I’m always doing all the work that has to be done at work without complaining etc. Basically calling me a pushover. Which I’m very far from I’m pretty well respected by all the senior doctors because I speak my mind always and stand up for myself and others. After listening to this and arguing about me helping someone whose mom just died, I got angry too. Told her I got enough of this selfish behavior. This isn’t the first time she’s like this. For example we only been to two events on my family side. And both times I saw my brothers after a long time and we would be having fun and she’d keep hurrying me to go home. And then she would make a scene in front of my family because at 6 pm I wanted to stay an hour longer.
Then she went to leave my place. And so I just said okay I’m done dealing with this. And let her leave. I haven’t been responding to her texts since but she’s saying she feels like anything she does is always bad in my eyes etc. And I was just thinking, did I overreact?
TLDR: AITAH for calling her selfish after she got mad I said I will cover a shift for a coworker whose mom died unexpectedly ? Did I overreact?

A4A
Story driven script
Sfx/actions: ()
Male/female
Word count:1401 ………………
Masterlist version:https://drive.google.com/file/d/18qZHsfgBd2cxZX7b0AQBFeIBci31KlFf/view?usp=drivesdk
(Fire crackling)
“ugh my head, that's the last time I have six shots in three minutes, it's such a stupid bet why do I always take it up, it only ever leads to the worst hangovers the next day”
“Huh? This isn't my apartment. Where the hell am I?”
“OK breath (name) breathe this could still just be a dream, I mean it must be right I've been drunk before but never drunk enough to end up in a cave that for some reason has those ancient torches on the walls “
(Pinches themselves)
“Oww…OK so not a dream, that's not good I'm gonna need to get up and find a way out of here before whatever calls this cave home either wakes up or comes home to find a nice tasty and possibly still slightly drunk snack”
“Ugh OK standing up is not going to work right now, damn I am in a mess, sitting in a random cave too lethargic and dizzy to stand up”
“This can't just be from too many drinks, maybe someone spiked my drink?... I mean it's possible and would make sense for why I'm in the middle of nowhere with no memory of last night”
“Well now it's even more important that I get out of here, for all I know they Could be coming to find me right now, or maybe it was them that put me here in the first place”
“Whoa…Ok still can't stand but I can crawl”
“There we go, that's better, the world isn't spinning and I'm making progress, at least I think this is the way out …up is out right?”
(Pause)
“Pant, pant, pant, that was a much deeper cave than I thought, I swear if I kneel on one more sharp rock I'm going to scream”
“But at least I'm finally at the entrance to the cave and it seems to be daytime so I can finally get back to some semblance of civilisation, how I ended up all the way out here I'll never know”
“AHH oww what the hell?”
“AHH fuck why does the sun burn …ahh that felt like I grabbed a hot iron”
“ok, ok breathe (name) there must be some kind of reasonable reason for why the sun burns, I mean there must be right? it's not as if someone just becomes Hypersensitive To the sun overnight, maybe I'll head back into the cave and see if I can find any AHH WHERE DID YOU COME FROM?, GET BACK”
“RELAX…NO, I WON'T RELAX YOU KIDNAPPED ME, STOP MOVING”
“Stop…telling me to calm down, I'm not going to …wait why did I calm down?...why can't I get angry?”
“I'm…in your thrall?, what do you mean that I'm in your thrall?”
“I follow your orders even if I don't want to … the Hell is that supposed to mean, I'm like your slave?”
“More like a servant?...ok OK let's go back a minute, what The hell is going on?”
“Yes I think that at the very least I deserve some answers about what happened last night, why I'm in a cave and why every time I try and go into the sun it feels like someone has dumped acid on my skin AHH …STUPID SUN”
(Footsteps)
“OK, ok I'm calm again, I'm calm but I still want answers “
(Pause)
“ ok…so you're telling me that I got attacked by a group of vampires on my way home from the Bar and they pretty much entirely drained me of blood? I'm not sure that I believe vampires are real but let's ignore that for just a second. How did I end up here?
“Oh you weren't done, sorry ill be quiet, please continue “
(Longer Pause)
“ok well that's a lot to take in all at once, so there is a list of rules that the more powerful vampires have put in place so that the risk of vampires being discovered and ultimately hunted is reduced as much as possible, so one of these rules is that you do your best not to hunt or harm humans if you have any other choice and you absolutely do not kill, turn or leave them unconscious but that group were young and thought they were untouchable, well young in terms of vampires but still they broke that rule and hunted me anyway”
“Huh, That makes a little more sense but it's still a lot I mean 5 minutes ago I didn't know that you guys existed and now there are rules and laws as well”
“OK well that does explain some stuff but it doesn't answer My question…why am I in this cave?”
“Because they didn't just drink from me they thought it would be funny to turn me into a ….no no you have to be kidding me there's no way that I'm a vampire now I mean there's just no way”
“Stop telling me to relax, this is a perfect situation to not be calm in, and now that I'm thinking about it why am I in thrall to you and not them if they were the ones that turned me?”
“Because they never performed the ritual to bind me to them so you did instead when you found me …why the hell would you do that? I could have been free, I could have figured something out without being in a dark cave while having to follow some random vampires orders”
“Because when a new vampire Is bound to an older one it prevents them from turning feral…I um, didn't know that was a thing that could happen. I guess I'm sorry about that outburst… ugh Can I have a minute?... I just need a minute to try and make sense of everything that you just told me ”
“Thank you…wait before you go. I do have one more question if that's OK?”
“Good um l, what happened to the vampires that turned me? are they still out there?”
“Declawed and de-fanged?That sounds like a pretty painful experience, is it painful?”
“It is?...in that case good, fuck those assholes”
“thank you, I don't know why you're being nice since I've been nothing but aggressive since I met you but, thank you”
“I know that it makes sense to be upset after all that happened to me but still, thank you”
(Pause)
In the speaker's mind: “So I'm a vampire now, well that's just great and it had to be right after I managed to save up to buy my apartment, I wonder if I'll be able to go back after the sun sets, I wonder if they will let me go back”
In the speaker's mind: “ I mean they seem nice enough, they never raised their voice or manhandled me as I'd imagine as an older vampire they could, I wonder if the movie thing about older vampires being stronger and more powerful is a real thing or just fantasy, I'll ask them when they come back ”
In the speaker's mind:” Ugh well there's nothing I can do except try and come to terms with all of this and figure out if I'm spending an eternity in this cave ….hey I just realised I'm immortal now so that's one upside at least”
(Small pause)
In their mind: “I'm going to have to drunk blood aren't I?....well that didn't last long now it's right back to sucking…I hope I don't like the taste”
“ok that's enough wallowing it's time to find them again and see what happens now, hopefully, nothing too bad because my head is still pounding, it's going to be because I'm thirsty I just know it, ugh I feel sick at the thought of having to feed on something…or someone, I honestly don't know which I think would be worst if I'm honest “
“Oh you were only over here, well then I guess you heard a few of the questions I still had but if it's OK can I ask you a couple more?”
“Ah well thank you, should I call you anything in particular?”
“Yeah I can't pronounce that name can I call you Vamps instead? no? Hmm how about fangs?...that's better? good then fangs it is, oh sorry lord/lady fangs”
“Ok, the first question is about the whole drinking blood situation”
(Audio fades out)
(End)

I've been dating my boyfriend (M31) for over 3 years, and we've lived together for 2 of those years. I'm aware that there is a significant age gap, as I'm (F21). My boyfriend is Korean, and I'm half Japanese, half Spanish. At first, he thought I was too young, but I begged him to stay with me regardless of our age difference. He works full time 6 or 5 days a week & im a student & I work full time as well but the days varies so I’m home more often.
The issue is that I've tried changing almost everything about myself to make him like me, but nothing seems to work. I've changed my personality, clothing, hair, interests, and even tried to be more sexy or cute. However, my boyfriend is not very interested in sex, as I was his first partner and I didn't have much experience either. He said he was never really interested in sex and just likes playing PC games, especially League of Legends. I've tried learning to play, but he gets upset when I'm not a pro at it when he "teaches" me, and he doesn't even last a minute teaching me before getting frustrated.
Before I say anything to him, he sighs and says he doesn't care or that it's stupid. He often assumes I'll say or do something I've never done, and this leads to arguments. He makes me cry both inside and outside the house which is always so embarrassing, but he's never apologized or tried to make me feel better. He just has a cold expression and gets even more annoyed, looking away.
There are times when he is nice and loving, but it's very rare. I get confused when he acts that way, and I forget everything he's done to hurt my feelings. I would never forgive anyone else for the things he's done, but I'm very grateful for all he's done for me, and I always let him know.
I tell him I'm grateful, I tell him he's handsome, I praise him, I love him, I always hug him & caress him. But sometimes, I’ll give him his space for like 3 weeks but it isn’t enough. After a while he’ll come home from work and he’ll go straight to his pc and if I try to cuddle him or kiss him for a few minutes , he gets super mad and annoyed, telling me he just wants to play bc he’s tired.
He never says I'm pretty, but he gets annoyed when guys message me on social media saying they think I'm pretty. I always ask him if he thinks I'm attractive because he never looks at me or says I'm pretty. I don't feel like he finds me attractive at all. When I try on sexy or pretty clothes and ask him if I look good, he'll just say "yeah" or "ugh, I'm playing," without ever looking at me and continue playing his game. He doesn’t look into my eyes!
When I try to talk to him about funny videos or things that happened to me or interest me, he always says, "Ugh, I don't want to hear about that." He says that about everything. It breaks my heart that he's so uninterested in me. I know guys don’t like clothes, makeup, and those kinds of things but fashion interests me a lot and when my partner talks about his interest I feel happy seeing how his face lights up so why does he hate when my face lights up? Why does he ALWAYS turn that smile into tears? Why is he with me if he seems to hate me so much?
I've lost a lot of weight and try to look my best for him, he says that I care about my looks way too much but I feel like he treats me according to how I look. When I ask him why he doesn't pay attention to me, he just says always says "ugh" “ugh” that Korean sound angry Koreans make. It always triggers me. I don't know why he doesn't like me, so I try to fix myself in any way I can. I'm already smart and nice, so I feel like it’s my looks and now I feel extremely insecure with my looks and personality. I starve myself to try to be as pretty/slim as I can, like the girls he had saved on his phone when I had first met him but nothing seems to be enough. He doesn’t have any photos of me either btw. He doesn’t post me though, he doesn’t post anything on social media he only scrolls on Facebook like, a lot.
I get a lot of attention from others, but not at home. He hates that I like TikToks funny cat memes, and other "dumb" stuff, but they're just innocent jokes, and I have nothing else interesting in my life. I'm very lonely because this situation makes me so depressed and it makes me feel stupid and useless. I don't feel like I'll ever be liked/loved by anyone If my own partner doesn't love me.
He yells at me and starts arguments over the simplest things, like sharing something I thought was funny or interesting. It’s never negative or insulting. Everything makes him angry and annoyed. I sometimes feel scared that he'll get too angry and break things again, as he's already broken 4 TVs. I don't even do anything to him; he just gets so angry when I ask for a bit of attention. I just don't understand why. I feel so lonely.

I need reddits option for this one. Be me 16m with a brother 36m that still lives at home with our mom and dad.
My brother has been fighting with me since I was at least 9 years old and I know brothers fight but he always fights with me and my sisters about the dumbist things like talking to loud or making jokes about him.
But yesterday I think he drew a line and I don't know if I want to talk to him ever again. So a few weeks back I gave him a roll of tape and I needed to barrow it so I grabbed it and apparently I used way to much of this tape and he was livid then he started calling me all kinds of names like ugly,fat,stupid you know the normal stuff.
but then he said that I should listen to him and that he has more life experience and I have no respect for anyone and I only care about myself.
So then I kind of hit my withs end and called him a loser who doesn't have a job a license doesn't go outside lives in his parents house rent free starts fights with his own mom and dad.
Then he said that I've never been in a fight before (a lie) and he's had guns pulled on him before and he's been in tons of fights. After that he called me a fat ugly loser who's never been in fight and anyone could knock me put. All I said to that was your a loser then he got really mad and was ready to fight me but my mom and dad stepped in so he said to come down the hallway so I could get knocked out.
I was ready to go and fight him but saw my sister's and mom with a terrified look on their faces so I calmed down and my brother just went to his room.
And I thought it was done and over with until he came out of his room and started going on again so I just left and I haven't talked to him since. But I don't understand why he does this shit to me because I was his only real friend and he always fights with me.
But any advice on what I should do would be greatly appreciated.

Here's some context before this story: My vent : selfharmteens (reddit.com)
Hey! so I've been just sad recently and finding "solace" or whatever you call it in the darkness, alone. I just feel calmer, I guess I just like being my myself. I don't know whether its because I'm depressed or not.. I just haven't realized how peaceful it feels.
Anyway so my parents brought me to their friend's house / my former friends house (They are like neighbor-grandparents) and I brought my kindle with me and just read, kind of avoiding conversation
(They used to be my friends but one time during dinner my brother was saying mean comments about me, and I responded jokingly, trying to avoid it. i was just talking a lot. anyway we were playing uno and the husband of the neighbor-grandma just started yelling in my face about how we needed to be quiet and stop arguing and that he couldn't hear anything because of us. I wasn't even arguing! I was trying to do the opposite! and then i started crying and he just said angrily "stop crying" and nobody, even the daughter of the neighbor-grandma) did anything. I was crying and they didn't care. And then the neighbor-grandma e-mailed my mom saying:
"Wanted to share an incident that occurred here Friday pm. Sanara was unusually actually picking on Samar more than he to her. We were playing a game after dinner and the kids were quarreling so much/loudly that Kevin physically moved himself between them (they'd been sitting together) and raised his voice and gave them both a little reprimand. Samar appeared to be ok with it but Sanara was visibly NOT! She attempted to dispute with Kevin and he told us all to just move forward and continue to play. She cheered up quickly but it was a bit uncomfortable for all for a bit."
(I only know this bc i saw the email on my mom's apple watch)
-I actually didn't cheer up, I just pretended to, because i wanted it all to be over and you fake it till you make it, right?
-Also, I just started saying a quarter of a sentence to plead my case, when he yelled at me and I started to cry.
-Also, I thought these people were my friends, and they betray me. always.)
Anyway, so I continued to read by myself, moved to a different spot away from people, and then we left. My parents brought me on a boat. I read. We got back. I read. I read for many hours straight until i physically couldn't distinguish what facts were from my book and which ones were real. (Does this happen to anyone?)
Anyway they got upset that i wasn't talking to them, but they really didn't put in much effort to make conversation. On the car ride home they started saying how rude I was and embarrassing for reading, which I said sorry, sorry. I said it honestly, i realize it was a bad decision. And then I corrected her grammar when she was ranting on to me (english is not her 1st language) and she started to cry. I felt horrible.
My mom said that the way i act (by myself, in a different room, not really talking, and I don't mean to be rude, i really regret it afterwards) makes her cry 4 times a week and she needs a break from me. She says that she thinks im depressed because everyone in our family is. (She and my dad are depressed bc of me, my brother hates me) So now im staying at my grandparents house for 4 more days, while the rest of my family (my parents and brother) are going to live their more happy lives without me for the next 4 days in the city.
My grandparents house doesn't seem so bad, except there have been many incidents.
Once was when my grandma yelled at me until the point I had a panic attack/was hyperventilating while crying.
Another was when I couldn't focus on my homework and was singing while doing work (I may have Adhd, I haven't gotten tested but i want to) and my mom got so upset and cried and said how immature i was, and how that's why i don't have friends, and how all the ones i have will leave me, and all these mean, mean things, like how i am such a bitch, i never listen. And i just smiled because i smile to hide the pain. And they thought i was mental because they thought i was laughing at them crying. And they were asking about if there was something wrong with me, if i needed help, etc. (they didn't say it in a nice way) and my grandma was next to my mom hearing this and didn't say anything, just agreed with my mom. and then my brother just started punching and throwing me around and then I just hit the dresser and fell. and laughed. Because im insane.
Another time was when i was taking too long in the shower and my dad kept on banging at the door. I yelled, "Later!" but he got angry that i wasn't coming out. He unlocked the bathroom door with a knife from the outside WHILE i was showering but i was wearing a towel luckily by the time i realized what was happening. My grandma barged in with like pure rage, and i was terrified, just there cowering with my towel. She said, "You may think im nice and that I love you, but..." She didn't say anything else, but i wonder if she meant that those things weren't true. Anyway that experience combined with other experiences was the reason I first started to cut myself.
Sooooooo anyway i feel like i shouldn't be acting rude because my parents are trying, but I just cant look at them the same way after all that they have said, (My mom has called me a dumbshit, ugly, stupid, a bitch, she said she wanted to disown me once, etc.) and my dad never did anything when this happened. He agreed with her. he also said "fuck you" to me. I don't really know how i am supposed to act. I just cant be the perfect happy innocent child anymore. Im sorry im not how i used to be. Im sorry im breaking your heart. But you broke mine a while ago.
YOU DESERVE AN AWARD FOR STAYING HERE THIS LONG AND READING MY EXTREMELY LONG ESSAY. (I didn't mean for it to be the length of an essay, the more i wrote the more stuff i wanted to say)

A few days ago, my husband and I outlined to his parents some of our boundaries surrounding visits and interactions with our kids. My in-laws reacted poorly to the conversation almost from the start. My husband was not raised to express his relational needs and it has been the process of 9 painful years of oversteps from his parents to come to this point. I am so proud of how he handled it. He was gracious but firm on reiterating what our family is able to accommodate and what we’re not. He stuck to describing our experience with specific oversteps, trying hard not to be accusatory. We thought our boundaries about number and length of visits were more than reasonable. My in-laws did not agree. My MIL looked on the point of tears, and my FIL looked enraged. They kept reiterating, “we would never have done this with our parents. We were raised to respect our parents and we raised our kids to respect their grandparents. Why do you need to set boundaries with us? We trusted our parents goodwill and that was that.” My husband kept replying calmly, “I hear that and still, this is what we’re able to do right now.” Just not engaging with the rhetoric. My FIL was so angry. The last time I saw someone glare that way, it was my very abusive father. I’m up at 3am right now and I’ve been on the verge of panic attacks almost nonstop since the conversation. I don’t know how to continue on with people who think we don’t even have the right to be asked before someone buys sheets or incorrectly sized sneakers for our toddlers and bring them home wearing them. I’m tired and scared and it brings up a lot about my past. There was also a left-field remark that we’re isolating our kids. It was so ridiculous, even my MIL looked askance at my FIL’s comment. My kids are involved in 3 or 4 extracurricular activities weekly, we have multiple summer playdates lined up, they’re going to two week long camps, etc. His claim is so obviously untrue and it felt that he was being retaliatory because his control was slipping.
Some of the things we talked about: -we can do 2-3 day visits every month and a half. They live out of town but have 100% mobility and have visited 5 times just this year already and we’ll have had two 3-4 day visits just this month. -We can probably also do birthdays, but we just prefer to be asked instead of them announcing they’re coming. -We would like to be consulted before they purchase basic needs for our kids, like academic stuff and the aforementioned shoes/sheets. (My FIL was furious about this boundary. Rolling his eyes. Acting like we were stupid)
My logical brain doesn’t think we were over the top, especially considering their behavior over the years and how stressed their visits leave our family, but my anxiety wants me to believe otherwise. Especially since my FIL seemed to be glaring at me way more than at his son, even though I didn’t say very much. I kinda suspect my in-laws thinks I’m really the one behind this.

I'm doing that silly teenager thing where I dream of unrealistic romantic relationships and I've decided to write it down for once, because its fun and why not.
In my adult life, I wanna move to Salem, MA, or somewhere in that state. I like Massachusetts, I vibe with the people there better than the south.
I want to meet a girl in some unspecified way (because that's hard and my imagination isn't that good and this is my story I do what I want) and then fall in love, because this is a romance thing, it would be weird if we didn't.
I wanna move in with her, in some old victorian-style house. We'd put a room just for reading in, fill it with books.
We'd attract crows to our house, they're smart creatures and they're cool as fuck, and having your house covered in crows is gnarly.
We could own a boat maybe? I don't sail. I don't know. I just think it could be cool I'm not thinking about it that hard.
We could drive around and run errands together. Fall in love with each other and fall in love with the mundane. Listen to music, have a good time, bask in eachother's company.
We could go on dates. Y'know. Like couple do sometimes. But, like, stupid ones, like gokarting or bowling or just sitting on the beach staring at the birds. Or staying in and getting way too competitive about mario kart.
Maybe, since we live in salem, she's a witch. Not, like, pointy hat cartoon witch, I've known a few people who practice modern witchcraft and although I don't believe in it I do think its pretty neat. And I'd support it and we could go and buy ouija boards and silly stuff in the various tourist-trap witch stores. Maybe even a pointy hat, because cliches are fun sometimes.
Anyways, thus concludes my random yearning. I could go on like this for a while but typing on a phone for that long is comparable to torture.
Goodbye, and sorry for making you read that.

Recently I’ve been thinking about compiling a general guide for how to get a good Boomshoot ready PC due to the platform getting, well, everything. Also recent Playstation ports have been somewhat questionable, making me wonder why a PS5 cannot run games that I played on a 10+ year old computer with 200 FPS. I can imagine this makes some folks want to go out and grab themselves a nice, new shiny rig.
I have seen some folks ask and give advice on what to get, but this can be mixed. In some cases I've seen people overspend and get a 7900 XTX with a 7800X3D. A nice system, if you have $2000 kicking around for a gaming PC. Simalarly I've seen some folks be advised to get some nice old, evergreen parts, only to then hit Amazon and almost get ripped off for over $350 for a 1070. As such I feel there needs to be a boomshoot PC building guide.
This is the beginning of a guide for those who don't really know what to do with PC buying in this space. These are systems that should do fine for folks who want to play Boomshoots and other lower spec titles, shying away from those silly 4080 overkill systems.
I want to go into detail eventually, but right now I’m just testing the water to see if folks would be interested in a detailed guide. As such the 3 systems I’m compiling now are just WIP ideas. I’m also wondering if anyone would want to give some feedback on the systems as I admit I have a slight AMD bias. I also live in Japan, which makes the pricing fucky as well as giving way safer second hand buying. Anyone who wants to throw their hat in to criticise these systems or give any advice are welcome to do so.
QUICK DISCLAIMERS: Boomershooter games tend to be easier to run, as such these PCs are not that impressive for folks who want to play stuff like Cyberpunk maxed out. As such stuff like DLSS and raytracing is not priority. Also, as some games are more CPU bound, the CPU will typically outstrip the GPU by a lot in some cases.
Three system tiers

Easy Tier:

Steam Deck: 256GB LCD

New System tier:

CPU: Ryzen 7500f Board type: AM5, B650 GPU: Radeon RX6650XT Memory:16GB DDR5 Storage: 2TB M.2 NVME PSU: 750W PSU OS: Windows 10

Bargain evergreen potato tier:

CPU: Ryzen 3600 Board type: AM4, B450 GPU: Gforce 1070 Memory: 16GB DDR4 PSU: 500W PSU Storage (boot): 500 GB m.2 NVME Storage (secondary): 2TB HDD OS: Windows 10
The above are three system tiers I am aiming to target. The first is the one with the least effort and will just work. Second up is a good system using modern parts that will be good for years to come. Third is for bargain hunters who can live with hunting about and getting an “evergreen” system so to speak. There will also be advised stores and shopping points given, be it Microcenter, Amazon, AliExpress (your CPU friend) or even eBay and local markets.
The final versions will be somewhat flexible, giving alternative options of what to go for e.g. different CPUs and different GPUs e.g. maybe a Gforce 1070 as a primary choice, but there being an alternative 1660 Super or maybe a RX5700.
By my admission I have not really looked at too many Intel CPUs of late, and for the potato there are lots of very good options (i5 9600k being an example maybe or 10400f). I personally have advised AM4 based builds for a while because the great choices you get if you want to swap things around, but I do admit that the single thread performance Intel gives will likely beat AMD for GZDoom based games, and with Selaco around that is a major consideration.
I could waffle on some more, but I’d like to see what folks think. A good idea? A bad idea? Would console users find this an interesting read? Am I stupid? (yes, yes I am)
EDIT: Thanks Reddit for messing up the tables I made.

Hello, obligatory English is not my first language and I'll try to be as thorough as possible.
Our friend group, all between 26 and 27 yo, are all kinda awkward people. We know and we all like being awkward together. This week one of our friends asked to talk to us all together. Once we arrived to the bar she told us that she was very upset with us about all sort of things and she wasn't sure she wanted to go on with the friendship if something didn't change. I'll say my point of view because I'm not a mind reader and don't know all the others feelings for sure, even though we talked about it together.
I preface with that we are not perfect, obviously we made mistake and she has all the rights to feel that we hurt her. The last drop seems to have been that the group didn't go to her grandmother's funeral. We tried to search the details of the funeral for ourselves around the city (where I live, when someone dies, the family has poster made with details of the funerals or where to say the last goodbye).
All of us thought that it would be better not to ask her directly because she sent us a text when her grandma died giving us the news and also saying that she will be quiet in our group for now. Plus I've sent her a text asking her if there was anything we all could do to help her in this moment or even if she wanted to talk over the phone or texting.
I do understand that we fucked up not asking directly to her for the information, but we all thought that it would be best not to bother her since when we tried texting she was very dry in her answers, which we all assumed was ok since apparently we all have the same way of going through grief by isolating ourselves for a bit.
During our talk this week she told us that she felt very alone at the funeral and that she also felt that we are all immature people since we see each other about once a month and not always all the friend group is there. She said that we talk about not important things such as hobbies and work, which she consider acquaintances topics. Plus she had examples of how we were bad friends during our relationship and brought up things of years ago. I've lived abroad for about 2 years, and when I would come home I would spend time with family mostly. I have a big family and all of my aunts are big on family reunions. That doesn't mean that I wasn't seeing my friends.
After thinking about it for around 2 days, I texted her apologizing again about not being there during her grief and obviously we fucked up on that, but that I was hurt when she said that we only talk about nothing things because I don't feel like it is. Sure we don't always have philosophical conversation, but I like talking about stupid stuff with my friends. She replied by reiterating the things she said before and that we should find ways to repair the relationship. I didn't reply mostly because I felt it would be read as passive aggressive and didn't want things to get worse
Honestly I don't know how to. All of the other friends seemed ok with our relationship and I don't know how to be a different friend. As I said at the start we are all kinda socially awkward and we all have "few but good" friends. I thought we had great conversation and also very important ones. I had a mental crisis few years back and I talked to her about it all and how leaving my house was actually a great change in my mood.
I'm a person that likes being alone, it doesn't bother me. I do understand that everyone is different, but we were friends for about 15 years and she never told me that maybe I should change how I communicate with her. Either way, now my friend group is broken. Some of us are considering the friendship broken and don't think it will be going back to normal, some other are on the fence and blaming themselves. I go back and forth on it blaming myself but also thinking that I shouldn't be going through trial and error to see if the friendship goes how she wants.
Am I a bad friend? How can I start reparing the relationship?
Sorry for long post. All advice welcome and I'm ok with people calling me a bad friend, I want to change if that is the case.

Boys in my classroom are doing sleepovers at each other's houses and they are calling girls in the classroom at 12-1 am at night. They call and swear and swear and swear like a drunkard. Guys this is SO not "Manly". Harassing girls (the way they always do) is SO not "Manly". Abusive behaviour is SO not "Manly". Please don't do stuff like this to anyone.
Edit: The girls are not reporting. They keep saying that they are strong enough to handle are they are not being vocal. Being vocal is THE key. And please blow up this post so everyone hears about this.

Okay Reddit strap in and hear me out, because this gonna be long…
As much as I appreciate James Gunns abilities to create interesting content I literally have no desire and don't understand why anyone else, would want to watch a Superman movie.
Superman is an uninteresting character at its core. Superman is only interesting when either deconstructed (see The Dark Knight Returns), lampooned (see Homelander and The Boys), or is being analyzed through another lens in something like Elseworlds (Red Sun).
The entire concept of Superman is quite frankly really stupid.
He's invulnerable, can only be beaten by a green rock, and literally has the ultimate plot armor of any comic book hero. Oftentimes, the interesting thing about Superman is again when he's being recreated like Mr Majestic in the Wildcats or I assume Sentry in the Avengers. I've never really read too many of those but I kind of get the gist that Sentry is supposed to be a Superman representative.
People's obsession with seeing and wanting to have a Superman movie makes zero sense to me. We've had multiple films made about Superman, and just to be clear, I am not a Snyder super fan. I do appreciate some of his work, and I also will never watch the second Rebel Moon movie because that first one was about the worst thing I've ever watched. Ok, if I get bored or there is enough booze I might.
To be clear, I'm not trying to gatekeep the intellectual property of Superman, I just think it's an idea that was invented in a much simpler time, and honestly is very stupid at this point. And don't even get me started on the Fantastic Four. Yes, it's got Pedro but I have no desire to watch a Fantastic Four movie either. This is yet another stupid 60’s comic book that quite frankly should have gone away a long time ago.
But, I digress.
The endless cry for a feel-good Superman movie that reflects his positive behavior is again unnecessary because the character is quite frankly stupid. There's nothing interesting about Superman. I'm sorry.
Well, sorry not sorry. From the DC slate of intellectual properties there are numerous other examples of amazingly more interesting characters to choose from. You have The Warlord, Arion, Lord of Atlantis, the Perez era run of the Teen Titans, or Batman and The Outsiders. There are dozens of better examples.
Let's not even get started on the numerous independent comics that could also be drawn upon. Like Baron and Rude’s Nexus, or the Badger, or a really good Cerebus movie. Or some of the better Image comics era of IP. Come on the Savage Dragon is great!
I mean really, it's disturbing that none of the Jim Starlin properties have made it to screen at this point, with the exception of Thanos. Give me a Dreadstar TV show ASAP!
But again, I digress. Superman is stupid, I'm sorry.
The only times he is interesting is when he is the MacGuffin of a story. Why are people so obsessed with seeing the boy scout in blue on the big screen?
I personally have no idea. And as much as I will probably watch the new Superman movie, I don't understand the obsession no matter the age, with a character that has quite frankly zero personality, and again has infinite plot armor.
I think that taking materials such as Peacemaker, we've seen James make an amazing inroad into offering up lesser known characters and making really great opportunities for storytelling around them.
So why do we have to suffer through yet another spandexed blue underwear character saving the world, when we know he's going to, and that's all we're ever going to get.
I get it, people love Superman. But you know what, I don't, and I don't see why people are so stupid.
There are dozens of better intellectual properties between DC, Marvel, and all the independent comics that come out for the last 30 years if not more. Can we please get these stories told? Why is it so hard to do things that are interesting and better?
I think one of the greatest examples is the Daredevil Netflix show and the upcoming extension of it. Here is a lesser known character that is super interesting that has ultimately become a part of our zeitgeist and part of the mass media, because it's a great story to tell. You can knock all the lesser Netflix marvel TV shows, yes we're looking at you Iron Fist. But collectively, these are some of the best storytelling we've seen to date.
What is the endless draw again for the boy scout? Nobody cares.
Okay so I don't care.
DC has a multitude of properties to choose from. I was never the biggest Lobo fan, but I know that people would love to see those stories told. What about the Legion of Superheroes, what about smaller lesser known superheroes and/or villains like Peacemaker? Oh wait, that worked…
Let's face facts, DC's intellectual property is much weaker than Marvel’s, and in my opinion is much weaker than the independent comics that can be drawn upon to create films and television shows from.
I think James's ultimate folly here is focusing on the big blue, because it's supposedly what “people want*, and not focusing on the more interesting stories that DC has provided us over the years.
Look, to date some of the best Marvel content has come in the form of things like Logan, Deadpool and the Netflix TV shows. This is why the showrunners and creators have leveraged the core storytelling elements to really tell interesting stories about things are passionate about.
Who in their right mind is passionate about Superman? Not me. Not my kids. It ultimately feels like somehow it's an expectation to fulfill some boomers dream about telling the Superman story on the big screen. And you know what, boomers are pretty freaking stupid.
So, am I the 10th dentist or am I right?
Either way I don't care just to be clear. But I'd like us to move past us needing to go through the golden, and then the silver, and then the modern age of comics to get to the good stuff because you know what there's so much more good stuff that isn't a guy who flies around in blue spandex with a red cape,
She said no capes for a reason…