1. • Prompt:
   In what way does your character embody the spirit of a beginner taking the first step?
   How does the magical realm they explore reflect their fears, and what symbolic creatures or challenges represent the unknown?
   How does the character's growth parallel their journey into the unknown?
   
2. • Prompt:
   Delve into the character's talents and the world they shape.
   How does the character's self-discovery unfold through their creative process?
   

What challenges arise, and how does their mastery of a magic mirror their evolving understanding of themselves?
What is the lasting impact of their creation on the magical realm?

1. • Prompt:
   Explore a hidden library and the knowledge within.
   What role does intuition play in the character's quest, and how does the magical setting amplify the connection between the character and the mystical texts?
   What secrets does the character unveil, and how do these revelations impact their worldview?
   
2. • Prompt:

Paint a vivid picture of an enchanted garden.
How do the magical elements within the garden symbolize growth and nurturing?
What challenges does the character face in maintaining harmony within this fantastical space, and how do they learn about the cycles of nature?
How do friendships blossom amidst the magic?

1. • Prompt:
   Detail the character's leadership journey on an expedition.
   What challenges arise, and how does the character navigate the complexities of being a leader?
   

How does collaboration with diverse companions enhance the character's understanding of responsibility?
? What unexpected magical elements add depth to the expedition's narrative?

It's been about 3 years and we usually seem to get along very well. When we do chat (we only message though, only one phone call and no video calls), we see eye to eye.
But I have anxiety and depression caused by trauma from a past relationship, to which causes me to recluse and shut everyone off for a few weeks - sometimes even months, when I experience a trigger or overwhelmed by stress. He understands that this happens from time to time, and always felt he was understanding and kind towards me. He would still send me lengthy messages, sometimes 10 really long messages everyday. It was absolutely amazing and made me feel really special that he would still care for a girl who wouldn't respond back for a few months; it kept my appreciation for him alive.
We finally met a month ago. That first hug was breathtakingly wonderful! But as the night wore on, I felt less comfortable and more uneasy. He brought me an array of gifts...but of the many things, nothing was anything that I liked, and I couldn't understand especially since we had this discussion before when he sent me a box of gifts a few years back via DHL with stuff that I would never wear and how it upset me that he was spending on things I've expressed I would never like. But it was thoughtful, so I thanked him anyway, told him I probably won't wear any of the stuff because it's really not my style, and we went to dinner. We sat side by side, and he holds me in a very awkward way. His hand is placed at the back of my neck with a firm grip which felt like he was directing me into a police vehicle.
We chatted and I noticed him brushing me off with certain things I was saying. It felt dismissive. When we got back to the lodging, he mentioned a few times how well he knew me, and I should never doubt that he doesn't 'get' me. He's gentle in nature, but something just didn't feel right. I pretended to sleep, thinking it's probably me being nervous so I'll try again tomorrow and I'll avoid anything that will make me uncomfortable further.
I had to cut the excursion short, I just wasn't feeling it and I expressed that I was struggling to connect. I couldn't make sense of how I could go from loving this guy to suddenly feeling like I had a bad date and needed to move on.
Once he got back, it took us a few weeks to talk again. I went back over our messages and everything I thought was loving and sweet sounded more like obsession. I found it odd at the way he held me in person - it felt dominating and possessive - this reminded me of any time I mentioned my male coworkers (I only work with men, so I can barely talk about work with him), he would flip his shit, and we would end up in a fight. I could never ever bring up my ex and the trauma in relation to this and how it affects my anxiety, and when I did, he would accuse me of obsessing over him and not moving on. He has photos of me on his wall of pictures I post on my Whatsapp status, printed and plastered next to a huge Aum Symbol. I'm South African Indian, and I have no affiliation with Hinduism, further on our visit he was incredibly eager to find a Holi Festival for us to attend - I have no interest in that and he knows this. He's a huge fan of Indian food and always tells me this, and fair enough, Indian food is great...but it's moments like this that make me wonder if he likes the idea of me because of a fantasy he has, or does he actually like me for me. I've expressed over and over, I am only Indian by blood; the culture, the religion, the experience, the language - I don't have and I'm not a part of.
He's a pretty normal white guy...who's in a band. I admit, I reached out to him, a lead singer in a band, that's pretty cool. But I moved past that initial idea of him and wanted to get to know him. Any time I ask of his family, he changes the topic. He's neurodivergent as well so I know he struggles with things, but will never talk to me about it. I avoid prodding too much on this because maybe it makes him uncomfortable, but other than the superficial appreciations of this man, I don't know him as well I would like. Lately it's been a common theme to screenshot my old messages and resend them to me, "you said this, you said you love me back" kinda thing. Every message nowadays is how much I mean to him, and his life would be a mess without me, and everything he does is so that we can be together. I asked for some time, but I still wake up to 5 long messages a day expressing his infatuation.
TLDR: I've been seeking therapy to help make sense of my life right now, and the more I go forward with the therapy, the less I feel this man loves me. He loves the idea of a foreign Indian girl who gives him time and his life meaning.

“When your back is against the wall, everything in on the table. Narrow your timetable to the next few minutes, they’re all that matter. A bloody victory or a bloody death. Choose.” -The AI unwillingmainer (paraphrased).
/
First, Previous, Patreon (W/ Rizz).
/
The world spun. Not just around Sustain, but inside her head. Groaning, she forced her eyelids open, the once-brilliant display of her mech's cockpit now a shattered, sparking mess. Her ears rang, a constant whine battling the dull throb of her skull.
Panic clawed its way up her throat. The battle... she lost. Her mech, a twisted mockery of what it once was, hung limply in the grip of another. A monstrous war machine, its dull green paint job streaked with oil and ash, loomed over her. Her breath hitched, her Dad’s face the only thing she was able to picture.
This was it. Capture. Or worse.
Suddenly, the enemy mech twitched, its heavy attention shifting away from her. A streak of blue light lanced across its bulky torso. Sparks showered. The enemy machine bellowed, a digitized roar of fury as it tried to swivel, target the attacker.
Too slow. Another bolt of energy, precisely aimed this time, punctured a joint. The enemy mech staggered, roaring, the crushing grip on Sustain's machine loosening.
Her ruined mech crashed to the scorched ground, sending a shockwave through her battered body. Pain lanced from ankle to skull, a vicious reminder she wasn't out of this yet. The enemy mech fell onto the feet of hers, shaking her battered body around once more. The headache was simply brutal. But at least she was alive, and presumably safe.
Had Churk and Jac returned for her?
She might have been too harsh in her mental estimates of the Algeen’s.
With a grinding screech, metal tore from metal. Sustain groaned as her ears turned the sound into torturous white noise. The front panelling of her mech's cockpit was wrenched away in a shower of sparks. Churk's mech hovered in the opening. Unless of course some other Tide mech had decided to save her, but she very much doubted that.
Churk spoke through the loudspeaker of his machine, his voice a warbling croak. Less like a frog and surprisingly more like a bird call, at least to Sustain’s untrained ears. Her neural link had performed an emergency shutdown after being overloaded by the electrical smoke and the damage to her machine. Had she not been in a combat zone, it would have been illegal for her to reboot the delicate brain interface so soon. But she did.
The headache lessened slightly, the pressure against her eyes fading away, and Churk’s voice filled her understanding once more.
"You alright? Nothing broken? Your machine is toast." Churk said, his eyes filled with concern.
"Just my pride." Sustain managed a weak grin.
"Humans." Churk scoffed, Sustain’s grin became just a little bit more vivid. Now he was getting it.
Effortlessly, Churk's mech reached into the wreckage. He scooped her up in one fluid motion, the strength and gentleness of the gesture momentarily erasing the brutal battleground around them. Churk cradled her against his mech's armour. It was oddly conforming to be held by something so large, even if the material she was pressed up against was so metallic and firm.
Churk slowly brought her up until she was eye to sensor array with his machine. He peered at her, through the enhanced vision of the mech, as if trying to weigh up her impressive achievements thus far with the things he was beginning to suspect.
“Why are you here Sustain?” He asked. Sustain found his voice to be calm. Too calm. Her heartrate increased as her grin was dashed.
“To recover the civilian population before the Tide can get to them?” She asked, faking a confused look, but she knew that wasn’t what Churk was asking. She glanced to her right to see Jac there too.
“You said there were a thousand of these operations taking place around Algeen Prime, but even if you’re the best humanity has to offer, watching humanities’ armies in action must truly be a sight to behold. So why so sparring with your forces? Why not take the fight to a capital city, and save a billion Algeen’s instead of at best two million? Where is the fight Sustain.”
Churk didn’t sound angry, but in his place Sustain would have been shaking with rage, so she answered slowly. Carefully. She just looked up. Night was falling, how long had she been out? How much time was left until the show started?
“You know what the Tide Mega Fleets are, yeah?”
A shutter ran through Churk’s spine.
“I’ve had the personal displeasure.” He waved his mech’s free hand at Jac. “We’re the only two that made it home from our carrier.”
His voice was smooth, too smooth. Too evenly controlled. But Sustain could hear it slipping. His control fracturing under fear and brutal memories.
“Humanity has six hundred systems to its name, once they’re done absorbing yours, which they will be very soon, the Tide will have over three times that amount. Even a grunt like me can see that’s not a winning proposition. We need an edge; raw skill isn’t going to cut it. We need a technological advantage. Which means time, and you don’t gain time by throwing your soldiers away to save a dying republic. Even if it’s the right thing to do.”
Sustain took a breath. A long, deep, breath.
“So, you’re here for the Mega fleets, the Tide’s best. Humanity intends to dull the spears edge before withdrawing to more defensible territory. To its defensible territory.” Jac was finally speaking, his voice raw with emotion. Thick and heavy.
Sustain glanced over at him, before turning again to face Churk. If anyone was going to kill her right now, it would be him. He wouldn’t let his subordinate perform such a morally grey action. Well, she thought he wouldn’t anyway.
“If we were going after those fleets directly, I’d be in orbit. This operation is huge, but even so, taking them on would be a massive hail merry. An all or nothing gamble and there’s no way high command would be that desperate just yet…” Sustain paused and looked down at the farm below her. “As I understand it, your planets core is hollow. There’s an absolutely massive AI core down there, and all the reactors needed to power it...”
Churk stepped back involuntarily and Sustain was knocked off his mechs hand. She fell hard onto soft soil, sprawling gracelessly out as the two Algeen’s towered over her in their Tide mechs.
“You can’t be serious.” There were both speaking at once, but Sustain could only hear Jac, as he took one massive step towards her. “Humanity wouldn’t… You wouldn’t. No one would. Not even the Tide would…”
Sustain simply rose to her feet, but suddenly found she could no longer look at the two Algeen’s in their mech’s faces. Silence stretched over the Algeen farm, as if even the dead that lay in the fertile fields were unwilling to moan or scream in either rage or pain.
Sustain flinched at Churk raised his mechs railgun and fired again, the Tide AA gun collapsed in on its and promptly exploded. That very same railgun spun through the air, and Sustain found herself staring down the barrel of a gun that was longer then she was tall.
“Swear to me, that you had nothing to do with the planning of this mission. Swear to me that you’re just a pawn. A tool used by desperate demons to accomplish this…” He waved at the AA gun with his mech’s other hand, and the barrel of the machine’s weapon swayed ever so slightly. “This… Pity mission… That’s why you’re here isn’t it? You figured out the truth, but you were never told. You’re here because in your heart you wanted to save those that you could, even if it was your own people that would kill them if you didn’t?”
Churk sounded less like he was questioning or threatening her, even as he held a massive weapon pointed at her. The damn had broken, Sustain thought he might be crying. He sounded like he was crying. Like he was begging her to be… good? Like he needed even those that might be his enemy to be, in some way or form, civilised.
Sustain knew what she should say, but she didn’t have it in her soul to lie to this man. She wasn’t raised like that.
“I didn’t have a hand in planning any of this. But if I was put in charge, it’s exactly what I would do. It’s this, and a thousand other black actions that win a war. This is why we’re here after all. To do what your republic wouldn’t.”
Sustain was looking Churk in his metaphorical eyes again, self-righteous in pose and prose. But she was shaking limb from limb. He had absolutely no reason not to obliterate her on the spot. No reason to believe the transport wouldn’t still deploy without her being there. He’d be right too; he could wipe her away without so much as a speck of blood on his hands. Without consequence.
But perhaps such a thing was simply too human for the Algeen’s. Or perhaps, with his very world about to be wiped away in the transition from one slaughter to another, he simply wanted to go home to his family still able to call himself a righteous man.
Churk lowered his mech’s weapon, and simply turned his back on her. His mech beginning the slow and plodding journey back home. To a new, albeit uncertain future. Sustain looked at Jac, who took longer as he weighed up the mental pros and cons of killing her, until eventually her too took his leave of her.
Sustain fell to her knees at the sight of the two ex-tide machine’s back. Suddenly feeling oh so very exhausted. For as alien as the environment felt, a farm was still a farm, the dirt itself was comforting. Familiar. All in all, this wasn’t a bad place to die. Saving almost two thousand Algeen’s in doing so. Not a bad way to die at all.
But she hadn’t saved them. She hadn’t saved anybody. Not yet, not until the war came to an end. Not until humanity levelled the playing field and beat back the Tide. It wasn’t ego that drove her forward, but duty. Humanity needed her skills right now, and she needed a way off this rock before it was blown sky high.
She checked her watch. Just over an hour left. Sustain looked at the piles of broken machinery, the Tide machines all had escape pods. Only the higher tiered slaves were able to use them of course, they needed special codes to be activated. But once they were, the pods had been known to manage orbit on low-G planets and moons. Humanity, and by extension Sustain herself, had those codes too.
She made her way over to the mech she had first faced down, the one she had balled over during her initial charge. Expecting the pilot to still be alive she pulled the auto pistol from her thigh holster and made sure its safety was off.
The acrid tang of scorched metal and burnt hydraulics stung Sustain's nostrils as she got closer. The enemy mech was a hulking monstrosity of angular plates and exposed wiring. One of its legs was mangled, but she didn’t need it walking.
Fortunately, her neural lace was able to interface with the Tide technology, but the mech wasn’t accepting the open cockpit commands she was sending it. Her heartrate increased. If the mech didn’t accept the codes she had, the escape pod might stay in hibernation and she would be very, very dead.
She calmed herself with a deep breath and the thought that it could be a simply mechanical failure. She had hit the damn thing pretty hard, heavy armour or not, something might be damaged in the cockpit’s mechanism.
With a practiced eye, she scanned for weak points, a way to breach the enemy cockpit. A massive dent near the central torso had pulled two central pieces of armour apart. It offered her the best route. Sustain wormed her way into the machine, trying to keep her pistol pointed forward, trying to avoid cutting herself.
Once under the armour the problem became apparent. The cockpit was opening but was colliding with the central chest piece, which was stubbornly refusing to move. So she had just damaged something, good. Even better was the fact that the gap between the cockpits door and the armour was wide enough that Sustain was pretty sure she could squeeze inside of it. Even without moving the armour. Of course if the enemy pilot was awake, they might take offense to that action…
She paused for a long few minutes, simply listening. She couldn’t hear any movement or alien swear words from inside the cockpit, but she did think she could make out, ever so faintly, the breathing of the pilot. Unconscious perhaps?
She didn’t have the time to be sure, and if the pilot was unconscious, she wanted to make her move before they woke up. She tried to move forward with her gun out, but quickly found herself needing more then one hand in the tight space. She holstered the gun but left its safety off just in case. Sustain moved forward and slowly forced her way through.
Inside, the cockpit was a cramped nightmare of sparking panels and flickering alien symbols. And in the centre, slumped against charred consoles, was the pilot. Not the hulking humanoid she had mentally expected, but a lean, mottled green reptilian creature. Its scaled skin gleamed dully, and its chest rose and fell in shallow, unconscious breaths. A trickle of purple blood oozed from a head wound.
Duty warred with something close to pity inside Sustain. This was the enemy, the invader. Yet, they looked so... fragile. She should shoot him but… She thought of Churk and Jac, who really should have shot her. With a sigh, she pulled a length of field cable from her belt. A few swift movements, and the alien was trussed up, secured but not injured.
Only then did Sustain turn towards the mech's core console, she would have to time this perfectly, but if she did the cockpit would be launched skyward and then propelled by the shockwave of Algeen Prime’s detonation. Once in orbit she would just have to hope and pretty that it was the human forces who recovered her first. She really did not want to see what the Algeen’s did to captured soldiers.
She still had a bit of time though, so she set an alarm with her neural lace and laid back. Attempting to ease her headache by resting her eyes. She had the feeling that in the coming few years she was going to be very, very busy.
/
First, Previous, Patreon (W/ Rizz).
​
Want me to write you a novella? I'm taking comissions!
/

DISCLAIMER: I AM NOT THE ORIGINAL POSTER OF THIS, I simply.. borrowed.. it bcuz it paints an interesting picture… also, I remember it being unseasonably warm the day the girls were at the bridge but were still talking about mid February in northern Indiana… I personally think the ground would be too hard for a bullet to implant 2 inches into the soil.. but 🤷‍♀️ anyways here yall go:
Court TV admitted tonight that the bullet was found 2in in the ground….
This is where common sense is going to have to play a HUGE ROLE. This 1000% is never going to happen ejecting a bullet, even ejecting it and leaving it there for days, it still should be on surface level.
The bullet in my opinion was planted there by LE or it was apart of the ritualistic sacrificial ceremony.
The council that Judge Gull brought in after removing the first 2 lawyers said ONE of the girls was sacrificed while the other was just murdered which would’ve been Abby since she was dating Brad Holders son.
Brad Holder also claimed he didn’t know Abby that well, yet his son was dating her and he called her an “annoying little shit” before.
This sentiment (HAIL ODIN) was one of MANY Easter eggs on Brad Holders Facebook.
The “F” rune marking found on the tree is called “Ansuz” which stands for ODIN, and compared WITH the Hagal rune found on Abby.
The combination of both of those would proclaim “HAIL ODIN” the same exact thing Brad Holder posted on his Facebook and the “F” symbol was found in MANY of Brad Holders Facebook posts as well.
There was PAGAN SACRIFICIAL RITUALS also found on Brad Holders Facebook.
A Facebook post in which a FEW WEEKS BEFORE THE MURDERS, a MAN that looked like Patrick Westfall was using an electric saw to cut a tree branch, BRAD HOLDER THEN RESPONDED TO THE POST AND SAID “CUTTING RUNES”
There was also a Pagan ritual videotaped by Brad Holder in which Patrick Westfall is marking a tree with his hands or fingers.
All evidence points DIRECTLY at HoldeWestfall/Messer and Fields!
Now this Bullet that they claim they found, what would be the purpose for it even being there if not as another sacrificial RUNE? If they didn’t find the girls bodies the day of, they were placed there ON RON LOGANS PROPERTY, meaning what would be the point for a gun? The point for a cycled round? There wouldn’t be any logical purpose and if the actos did cycle a round, it wasn’t that many hours later that the bodies were discovered, the bullet wouldn’t be 2 inches in the ground.

Began with Chloe being Chloe and standing in front of the train then jumping off last second. Of course 😂 first thing I noticed was the way she sways side to side when she walks. She seemed so happy. I sure hope some tragic shit doesn't go down and her best friend has to sacrifice her in order to save a town from a huge storm, that would suck!
I like the 'superpower' they gave her, you have to make good insults until she gets her way. She used it to get past the big security guy and into the event. She wanted a shirt but it was too expensive, so I stole it, and the cash. I know stealing is not a very morally correct thing to do, but Chloe likes to fuck around, she's rebellious and I think she would do that if I wasn't the one who was controlling her.
I talked to Frank. She still owed him money. It was nice to see another familiar face though.
Into the mosh pit I went, except Chloe bumped into two men and one of them spilled their beer. I apologised and walked away, not sure if Chloe knows how to fight but I'd rather not have to find out. Went upstairs for a better view and then those same two men cornered her. But then Rachel comes in and is like "Hey, Dickhead!" then I ran. Rachel held Chloe's hand and pulled her along and Frank stopped the men. I hope I get to have a deeper dive into Frank's character in this game.
Chloe woke up in her room and I checked her journal. There's a letter to Max, talking about how she's a loser and Chloe's doing great without her. She's lying to herself so she doesn't have to feel the weight of her problems. I know how that feels. There's also another unwritten letter to Max which is a bit friendlier. It ends with "Chloe, the unfriended". Know how that feels too. I think her whole journal is just a bunch of unwritten letters to max. Nice. I get to go even deeper into who she is. I love when games let you do that. Although it'll probably make me feel really bad for her and give me another case of "post-Life is Strange depression" by the end of the game 😁
I knew very well Joyce would realise Chloe was out somewhere she shouldn't be if she wore the stolen shirt, so I just chose the raven one. Found Chloe's phone and looked through her messages. Seems Chloe wanted to hang out but Max ended up not answering her messages after a certain point. I know that feeling all too well. And there's a dude named Eliot, wonder why Chloe never mentioned him to Max.
Downstairs Joyce and Chloe quarrel about David and school. For fucks sake, I wish they gave me and option to be calm! I mean they do, only at the end though. I chose to be understanding.
Went outside and of course Chloe and David didn't get along very well. I just wish I could go in there and tell them their future, if that's what it takes for them to finally be nice to one another. Although I could see David was trying to be nice. Failing, but trying. Anyway, after all that David comes up to Chloe and holds his fist in the most awkward fucking position imaginable, took me a bit to even realise he wanted a fist bump. I accepted, not before pausing and laughing for 5 minutes at his blank ass stare and wonky ass fist 😭 glad they had a little bonding moment though.
In the car David says "We don't have to like each other, but you WILL respect me." I mean, true, but how about come off a bit friendlier? A bit more like a loving, gentle father? I wish he had said something like "Hey, I know you don't think I'm a the best dad, but I genuinely love this family. I really wanna build a healthy relationship with you Chloe, whether you believe it or not. I care about you." But I think after being in the military David's gotten used to people giving orders. I understand. I just made Chloe ignore, no point in fighting.
She dreamed about the crash. William was just singing and them BAM. This is why I can't stand people who speed. I'll be on the road and see some fuckass teenagers goofing around going at lightspeed. They don't know, all it takes is a single mistake to kill so many people. I pray that one day we invent cars that break automatically before a collision. Cuz humans are so immature.
Anyway, at the school Eliot tells me about how everyone knows about the incident with Chloe and Rachel at the concert. I wonder if Joyce will end up finding out.
I then walk up to the fountain and read what it says. "The future needs excellence? The future's an asshole." Chloe said. You haven't the faintest idea Chloe...
I went up to Victoria and talked. She was nice to Kari Chloe, at first. I think that's only cuz Chloe was around Rachel, who's popular, so she's now seen as popular by association. And you know, popular kids in school are basically Demigods.
Then I talked to Samantha, who seems to be very similar to Kate. The same gentle nature. Bit of awkward interaction with her, since she accidentally talks about how a lot of people say Chloe is bitchy.
Chloe played DnD with Steph and Mikey. They seem so nice, they remind me of some of my friends. Again, I wonder why Chloe didn't mention them to Max. Maybe they're not as close as her and Rachel? We'll see.
After defeating Duurgaron, I signed Evan's petition for a fire safety assembly. Maybe this'll actually be useful. Maybe it'll just get Chloe out of class. Time will tell.
To my surprise I came across Nathan Prescott himself being bullied. I decided to step in. Can I just say Chloe's insults are top notch? "Congrats, you've actually got me feeling sorry for Arcadia Bay's most spoiled brat." Perfect. Samantha thought so too, she found it pretty funny. Even told him to stfu! But of fucking course Nathan was insulted by our help. I guess he was going through some tough shit too though. If only he wasn't a future psychopath, I would try to befriend him.
Fast forward to when Chloe and Rachel ditched class and jump onto a train. Now the adventure begins. While Chloe was sitting with Rachel she felt nervousness for the first time. I might be wrong but I sense a crush, was Chloe interested in Rachel before Max? I mean she even trips on her words! 😂 "It's nice Rachel we're having." Idk about you but to me this seems like what people do around others they find attractive. Later they gave me an option to flirt too, and Rachel calls Chloe pretty, so I guess that confirms it.
I just have to say the 2 truths and a lie thing was so awkward cuz Don't Nod decided to put random scenes of the two just staring at each other not talking in between lines. Maybe it was another hint that they like each other? Idk.
Cool thing I noticed while they were playing the game was that Chloe got "hella" from Rachel. Man they write these games so well.
I felt so peaceful while the two listened to music together, the soundtrack of these games are masterpieces alone. I would pay just to listen even if the games were shit.
After the two played the viewfinder game Rachel suddenly walked away and then when I walked up to her and talked. She seemed pissed...I wasn't sure if she was joking or not. Did she not like the prostitute joke?
Later at the junkyard, after stealing some wine from innocent people, the two argued later and Rachel was about to leave. But Chloe asked her to stay, so Rachel asked why. I chose "something more..." cuz I feel like after all that it definitely was something more...but Rachel can't? Is it cuz of Frank? I thought. In LiS I found out that Frank was in a relationship with Rachel. I was so confused. Why go on this whole adventure and then say you can't at the end? What was the point of it all? I felt so bad for Chloe in this scene. I know what it's like to be ditched like that. I still wasn't upset with Rachel, I knew there was something happening behind the scenes.
Chloe started smashing everything in the junkyard. She was frustrated that Rachel left. *staring at mannequin* "You know she's fake yet you can't take your eyes off her. Who else do I know who fits that description?" "I've never understood your hard-on for cameras Max. You took a million pictures of us, and not one of them showed that you were gonna leave me when I needed you most." The writers conveyed the emotion really well. And I relate 100%, I always go to my room and start beating my pillow when I fuck up. The feeling of your gut tightening and your cheeks getting hotter and hotter, the sound of your internal monologue berating you with insults, while your senses of the outside world fade away as you fall into a deep trance of self-hatred. I feel her pain.
Now, for the second time, Don't Nod has made me cry. When Chloe took a step back and saw that she had beat her dad's car. Then in the midst of her regret, the anger sparks again and she continues to smash it, and then falls to the ground crying...fuck man. Holy shit. She probably feels it's equivalent to hitting William himself. I can imagine the guilt. Countless times I've gotten lost in rage and hurt loved ones. Countless nights I've spent lying in bed thinking over my actions, wishing I could just fucking re-wind. I wanted to go in there and give Chloe a hug. We both need it.
Back to the dream world in her dad's car. Except this time, I feel it really is William. His spirit. Giving his girl some words of advice. Not even death can break the bond between father and daughter. This bit was peaceful in a way. Yeah it ended with a burning Rachel and a truck crashing, but I strongly felt that really was William. Those words of encouragement can only come from a father. We all need a William in our lives.
Chloe woke up in the Junkyard. Imagine being Joyce in this scenario. Poor woman. I noticed a crow fly by. Same one that was in the dream. What does it mean?
Chloe and Rachel talked near a big tree. Same big tree that they caught two people kissing at. Turns out the man was her dad...I knew something was up. This is why it's important not to judge so quickly. I know a lot of people out there would be bitter towards Rachel if they were to be in Chloe's position. But we have to remember, behind every mistake is a fellow human being, with their own struggles and reasons behind why they fuck up. It's never black and white. I'm glad Chloe was wise enough to not wanna end the evening on a bad note. I'm glad she went looking for Rachel and comforted her. The conversation in this scene was beautiful. It's these moments that show who Chloe really is. A kind, loving soul.
The burning of the forest conveyed so much emotion. I said it once, and I'll say it again. These games are masterpieces, even the characters are masterpieces on their own. Anyway, they are in deep shit! Burnt down a whole forest! The whole time I just thought what is Joyce gonna do...
At the end there was a blond girl smoking...she seemed to not care about the fire. And I'm not entirely sure but it looked like she had the same tattoo that Chloe has in LiS. Wonder who that is. We'll see eventually.
At this point, I thought about the ending I chose for the other game. I wouldn't say I regret it, but the pain of the ending just gets stronger and stronger as I learn more about the person I sacrificed. I'm already so invested. What a vast range of emotions, and this is only episode 1!
Also, I do have one question, why is the loading screen an illuminati symbol? (Don't answer if it's a spoiler)

These are prompts designed for responses that are songs and song lyrics. Visually they xan provide you with the inspiration for crafting a scene that speaks in rhymes and rhythm!

1. Prompt: In the moonlit embrace of a city park, two hearts collided. Craft lyrics that capture the magic of unexpected love.
   
2. Prompt: Amidst urban chaos, find harmony. Create lyrics that celebrate the rhythm of city life and the music hidden in everyday sounds.
   
3. Prompt: Dive into the ocean's depths with lyrical prowess. Tell the tale of a mermaid's longing for the surface world in a melodic masterpiece.
   
4. Prompt: Unravel the mystery of a forgotten forest. Let your lyrics paint the enchantment of ancient trees and whispered secrets in the wind.
   
5. Prompt: Capture the essence of a summer romance on a sandy beach. Craft lyrics that evoke the warmth of sunsets and the sweetness of fleeting moments.
   
6. Prompt: Explore the cosmos through lyrics. Write a song that dances among the stars, narrating the celestial love story of constellations.
   
7. Prompt: Unveil the emotions of a lone wanderer in a desert landscape. Your lyrics should echo the yearning for connection under the vast, starry sky.
   
8. Prompt: Create a lyrical battle between light and shadow, exploring the contrasts and connections found in the play of sunlight and darkness.
   
9. Prompt: Dive into the bustling energy of a vibrant marketplace. Craft lyrics that capture the colors, sounds, and stories echoing through crowded streets.
   
10. Prompt: Conjure lyrics that embody the spirit of rebellion. Tell the tale of a revolution through the passionate voices of those who dare to challenge the status quo.
    
11. Prompt: Explore the journey of self-discovery in the lyrics of a song. Paint a vivid portrait of personal growth, resilience, and embracing one's true identity.
    
12. Prompt: Weave a lyrical tapestry that reflects the changing seasons. Capture the essence of spring's renewal, summer's warmth, autumn's reflection, and winter's stillness.
    
13. Prompt: Tell a timeless love story through lyrics. Create a ballad that spans generations, expressing the enduring nature of true love.
    
14. Prompt: Craft lyrics that resonate with the rhythm of a train journey. Capture the fleeting landscapes, diverse faces, and the emotions carried through each station.
    
15. Prompt: Immerse your lyrics in the tranquility of a mountain lake. Paint a picture of serene reflections, echoing winds, and the silent poetry of nature.
    
16. Prompt: Spin a lyrical web that tells the tale of a misunderstood villain. Explore their motives, struggles, and the shadows that led them astray.
    
17. Prompt: Dive into the emotional waves of a stormy sea. Craft lyrics that mirror the turbulence of heartbreak and the eventual calm that follows.
    
18. Prompt: Tell a lyrical tale of a time-traveling adventurer. Explore the highs and lows of navigating through different eras and the wisdom gained along the way.
    
19. Prompt: Create lyrics that dance with the flames of a bonfire. Capture the warmth, camaraderie, and shared stories around the crackling firelight.
    
20. Prompt: Explore the melodies hidden within a rainstorm. Craft lyrics that celebrate the beauty of rainfall, the rhythm of droplets, and the cleansing nature of storms.
    
21. Prompt: Dive into the magic of a carnival with your lyrics. Paint a picture of whimsical rides, cotton candy dreams, and the laughter that echoes through the night.
    
22. Prompt: Craft lyrics that embrace the untamed spirit of a wild horse. Explore the metaphorical journey of breaking free, galloping through open fields, and finding one's own path.
    
23. Prompt: Tell the lyrical story of a celestial dance between the sun and the moon. Capture the beauty of their cosmic connection and the poetry in their eternal chase.
    
24. Prompt: Explore the concept of dreams within your lyrics. Dive into the surreal landscapes, aspirations, and challenges found in the realm of slumber.
    
25. Prompt: Capture the allure of a hidden garden in your lyrics. Paint a poetic picture of blooming flowers, whispered secrets, and the beauty that thrives away from prying eyes.
    
26. Prompt: Craft lyrics that embody the resilience of a lone tree in a vast desert. Explore its endurance, silent wisdom, and the stories etched in its rings.
    
27. Prompt: Tell a lyrical tale of a cosmic love affair between a comet and a star. Explore the beauty of their fleeting encounters across the vastness of space.
    
28. Prompt: Dive into the lyrics of a mystical forest. Uncover the secrets of ancient trees, mythical creatures, and the whispers that guide wanderers through its depths.
    
29. Prompt: Create a lyrical journey through a carnival of emotions. Explore the highs of joy, the twists of surprise, and the bittersweet melodies that accompany life's rollercoaster.
    
30. Prompt: Explore the lyrical landscape of a ghost town. Capture the echoes of forgotten stories, abandoned dreams, and the lingering spirits that still roam its deserted streets.
    
31. Prompt: Craft lyrics that tell the story of an abandoned lighthouse. Explore the symbolism of its guiding light, lost sailors, and the loneliness that echoes through its tower.
    
32. Prompt: Tell a lyrical tale of a resilient phoenix rising from the ashes. Explore themes of rebirth, transformation, and the fiery spirit that conquers adversity.
    
33. Prompt: Create lyrics that celebrate the beauty of diversity. Explore the metaphorical garden where different flowers bloom together, forming a vibrant tapestry of unity.
    
34. Prompt: Dive into the lyrics of a haunted mansion. Uncover the ghostly tales, creaking corridors, and the melancholic melodies that linger within its forgotten walls.
    
35. Prompt: Craft a lyrical ode to the enduring power of friendship. Explore the shared laughter, the comforting silence, and the unwavering support that defines true companionship.
    
36. Prompt: Tell the lyrical story of a nomad wandering through open landscapes. Explore the freedom, solitude, and self-discovery found in the journey of a wandering soul.
    
37. Prompt: Explore the lyrics of a cosmic love triangle between the Earth, the Moon, and the Sun. Capture the cosmic dance, eclipses, and the eternal romance in the skies.
    
38. Prompt: Craft lyrics that celebrate the resilience of a lone wolf. Explore its untamed spirit, the moonlit hunts, and the echoes of its howls through the wilderness.
    
39. Prompt: Tell a lyrical tale of a forgotten pirate's treasure. Explore the map, the buried chest, and the adventurous spirit that seeks the fortune hidden in the sands.
    
40. Prompt: Dive into the lyrics of a celestial symphony. Capture the harmonious dance of planets, the cosmic melodies, and the grandeur of the universe's orchestration.
    
41. Prompt: Create a lyrical journey through the vibrant colors of a market bazaar. Explore the spices, textiles, and the lively exchanges that define the heartbeat of the marketplace.
    
42. Prompt: Craft lyrics that echo the call of a siren luring sailors. Explore the enchantment, the treacherous waves, and the irresistible song that guides ships towards an unknown fate.
    
43. Prompt: Tell a lyrical tale of a mystical library that transcends time and space. Explore the endless shelves, the ancient manuscripts, and the stories that come to life within its walls.
    

1. Character Interview:
   
   • Write an in-depth interview with one of your characters. Explore their background, motivations, fears, and dreams. Consider how their past experiences shape their current actions and decisions.
2. Parallel Monologues:
   
   • Create monologues for two characters who have conflicting perspectives or are at odds in your story. Dive into their inner thoughts and emotions, revealing the depth of their beliefs and motivations.
3. Flashback Scenes:
   
   • Develop short flashback scenes for key moments in your characters' lives. These scenes can provide insight into their past traumas, successes, or defining moments that influence their present actions.
4. Symbolism Exploration:
   
   • Identify a significant object or symbol in your story. Write a passage exploring its meaning and significance to different characters. This exercise helps in understanding how symbols can represent different themes or emotions for each character.
5. Dialogue Exploration:
   
   • Write a dialogue-only scene between two characters with a tense relationship. Focus on the subtext, unspoken emotions, and power dynamics within the conversation to reveal underlying conflicts and motivations.
6. Plot Twist Brainstorm:
   
   • List three unexpected plot twists that could dramatically alter the course of your story. Consider how each twist would impact your characters and their goals. Choose the one that adds the most complexity and intrigue.
7. Character Journal Entry:
   
   • Have your character write a journal entry about a pivotal moment in the story from their perspective. This exercise helps you understand their internal monologue and emotional responses to key events.
8. Setting as a Character:
   
   • Write a passage describing a significant setting in your story as if it were a character. Explore its mood, history, and impact on the characters. Consider how the environment shapes their experiences and decisions.
9. Plot Device Remix:
   
   • Take a common plot device and reimagine it in a unique way. For example, if your story involves a prophecy, think about how it could be altered or subverted to defy expectations and add complexity to the narrative.
10. Conflict Resolution Role-play:
    
    • Enlist a friend or fellow writer to role-play a conflict resolution session between two characters. This interactive exercise can help you explore different ways characters might resolve conflicts or misunderstandings in your story.

Exactly as the title says, I have somehow broken the light-producing aspect of fires. Not for all fires, either, for some of them. Campfires and wildfires (vanilla) work, as do the Signal Fire (Tribal Signal Fire Continued) and Stone Campfire (Vanilla Furniture Expanded). Confirmed not-working-right-now-but-used-to-work are the Large Fire (VFE: Tribals), Hearthfire & Fireplace (LTS Furnishing). I honestly have no idea what could even be causing this, though my going theory is that it's the extra stuff in the deffs where it declares lighting. (If so, how can I fix that?)
(Here's hoping my attempt at using a header to collapse my modlist works. Sorry if it doesn't.)

Modlist

[Mod list length: 367]
Harmony [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2009463077\]
Core [https:// no link (local mod)]
Royalty [Official DLC] [https:// no link (local mod)]
Ideology [Official DLC] [https:// no link (local mod)]
Biotech [Official DLC] [https:// no link (local mod)]
Anomaly [Official DLC] [https:// no link (local mod)]
Vanilla Backgrounds Expanded [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2775017012\]
HugsLib [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=818773962\]
FSharp.Core [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2059725183\]
ANDH - Animals Nuzzling Detects Horrors [https:// no link (local mod)]
Achtung! [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=730936602\]
Adaptive Storage Framework [https:// no link (local mod)]
Adaptive Storage Neolithic Module [https:// no link (local mod)]
Dubs Bad Hygiene [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=836308268\]
Advanced Tribal Cooler [https:// no link (local mod)]
All Memories Fade [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2800155563\]
Allow Dead Animals [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2403873031\]
Allow Eggs [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2534505462\]
Allow Tool [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=761421485\]
AllowToolGhoulFix [https:// no link (local mod)]
Vanilla Expanded Framework [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2023507013\]
Vehicle Framework [https:// no link (local mod)]
Vanilla Vehicles Expanded [https:// no link (local mod)]
Alpha Vehicles - Age of Sail [https:// no link (local mod)]
Ambient Rim [https:// no link (local mod)]
Drop Loot When Destroyed Framework [https:// no link (local mod)]
Ancient Junk Loot [https:// no link (local mod)]
Anima Gear [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2215217049\]
Animal Filth? Don't Care [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2573432875\]
Animal Tab [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=712141500\]
Graphic Chair Overhaul 2 [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2982680251\]
Hide Behind Tall Building [https:// no link (local mod)]
Extract Any Plant [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2833838214\]
Vanilla Factions Expanded - Tribals [https:// no link (local mod)]
Vanilla Fishing Expanded [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=1914064942\]
Vanilla Races Expanded - Android [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2975771801\]
ReGrowth: Core [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2260097569\]
Vanilla Factions Expanded - Empire [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2938820380\]
Vanilla Textures Expanded [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2016436324\]
Animal Variety Coats [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=1511926373\]
AnimalHarvestingSpot (Continued) [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=1542765654\]
Animals Logic [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=1098354593\]
Area Unlocker [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=725153576\]
Art on Neolithic Weapons [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2556397158\]
Auto-Cut Blight [https:// no link (local mod)]
Babies Eat Paste! [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2879301350\]
Beautiful Outdoors [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2011794898\]
Beautiful Water (Fork) [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2039480177\]
Better Explosions [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2572683272\]
Better Pyromania [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2624048970\]
Better ground-penetrating scanner [https:// no link (local mod)]
Geological Landforms [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2773943594\]
Biome Transitions [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2814391846\]
Bionic icons [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=1677616980\]
Blood Animations [https:// no link (local mod)]
Blooming hedges [https:// no link (local mod)]
BoomMod Expanded [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2359846788\]
Build From Chunk [https:// no link (local mod)]
Buyable psylink neuroformers [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2190288136\]
Job In Bar [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2086300611\]
CM Color Coded Mood Bar [1.1+] [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2006605356\]
Camera+ [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=867467808\]
Careful Raids [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=864601386\]
Cats Hunt For Fun [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2827497888\]
Character Editor [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=1874644848\]
ReSplice: Charmweavers [https:// no link (local mod)]
A Dog Said... Animal Prosthetics [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=746425621\]
Vanilla Psycasts Expanded [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2842502659\]
Alpha Animals [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=1541721856\]
Vanilla Books Expanded [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2193152410\]
Vanilla Cooking Expanded [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2134308519\]
Vanilla Ideology Expanded - Memes and Structures [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2636329500\]
Charmweaver: Pregnancy Precepts [https:// no link (local mod)]
Childrens Drawings [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2918817041\]
Choose Biome Commonality [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2582875043\]
Cleaning Speed [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2748222814\]
CleaningAreaTemp [https:// no link (local mod)]
Crypto Coffins [https:// no link (local mod)]
Custom Prisoner Interactions [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2841231775\]
Cute Chicks [https:// no link (local mod)]
Standalone Hot Spring [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2205980094\]
Vanilla Factions Expanded - Classical [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2787850474\]
[NL] Facial Animation - WIP [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=1635901197\]
DBH & VFEC/Hot Spring Compatibility [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2949772583\]
Damage Indicators [1.5] [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2016331497\]
Dark Ages : Crypts and Tombs [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2963826335\]
Death Rattle Continued [1.2+] [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2896207870\]
Down For Me [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=1709963396\]
DragSelect [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2599942235\]
[GMT] Trading Spot [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2874517333\]
Drawn Spots [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2917791361\]
Drop All Inventory [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2882490442\]
Common Sense [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=1561769193\]
Dubs Break Mod [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=1722398508\]
Dubs Central Heating [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2619214952\]
Dubs Mint Menus [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=1446523594\]
Dubs Mint Minimap [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=1662119905\]
Dubs Skylights [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=833899765\]
Erin's Body Retexture [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2662457442\]
TDS Bug Fixes [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2895035527\]
TD Find Lib [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2895299310\]
Everybody Gets One [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=1687566130\]
Fists Aren't Made of Steel [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2845980214\]
Vanilla Factions Expanded - Mechanoids [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2329011599\]
Fix Mechanoid Resource Drop [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2548077448\]
Vanilla Factions Expanded - Ancients [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2654846754\]
Flak Turret (Continued) [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2828255318\]
Floordrawings [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2878970750\]
Floors Are (Almost) Worthless [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2960126462\]
Food Poisoning Cures [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2856335335\]
Food Poisoning Stack Fix (Continued) [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2843483188\]
Vanilla Furniture Expanded - Architect [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2608762624\]
Vanilla Furniture Expanded - Security [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=1845154007\]
XML Extensions [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2574315206\]
Fortifications - Industrial [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2561619583\]
Garden Light [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2520773186\]
Graying Hair [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2807132773\]
Grazing Lands [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=1770268130\]
Halloween Graves(from Halloween Parade) [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2569165844\]
Haul Mined Chunks [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2799728059\]
Heat Map (Continued) [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2552838384\]
HotSpring Facial Animation [https:// no link (local mod)]
Hunting Traps [https:// no link (local mod)]
Impressionable Children [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2879996327\]
Infestations Spawn in Darkness [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2017514331\]
Injured Carry [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2413690575\]
Inspired Conversion [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2851390190\]
Jewelry [https:// no link (local mod)]
JustStoneTile [https:// no link (local mod)]
LWM's Deep Storage (Unofficial 1.5) [https:// no link (local mod)]
Large Animal Beds [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=1111387020\]
Less Stupid Romance Attempt (Continued) [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2014603702\]
Level Up! [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=1701592470\]
Light Map [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2388098465\]
Wall Light [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=1423699208\]
LightsOut [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2584269293\]
Make Butcher Tables from Stone [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=1947487170\]
Map Designer [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2111424996\]
Map Preview [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2800857642\]
Metal Don't Burn (UNOFFICIAL 1.4 PATCH) [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2557145474\]
Mining Priority [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=1345928533\]
More Sculpture [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=1612316880\]
Mushrooms is ok [https:// no link (local mod)]
Natural Nudist [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2227596413\]
Need Bar Overflow [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2566316158\]
Neolithic Scavenging (Continued) [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2893843175\]
No Ghoul Eyes [https:// no link (local mod)]
No Hussar Eyes [https:// no link (local mod)]
No Quests Without Comms [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2557302879\]
No Random Relations [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2583377522\]
Not My Fault [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2870045856\]
Alpha Biomes [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=1841354677\]
Vanilla Animals Expanded — Endangered [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2366589898\]
Vanilla Brewing Expanded [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2186560858\]
Vanilla Weapons Expanded [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=1814383360\]
Vanilla Factions Expanded - Pirates [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2723801948\]
Not a Weapon [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2750061895\]
Nudist's Evasion [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2579512280\]
Oharo's Stained Glass Lamps [https:// no link (local mod)]
Research Reinvented [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2868392160\]
RimHUD [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=1508850027\]
Vanilla Skills Expanded [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2854967442\]
Oracle's Skill Icon Retextures [https:// no link (local mod)]
P-Music [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=725130005\]
Packs Are Not Belts [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2509511179\]
Pathfinding Framework [https:// no link (local mod)]
Performance Optimizer [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2664723367\]
Portraits of the Rim [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2937991425\]
Practical Pemmican [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2761817611\]
Predator Animal Patch [https:// no link (local mod)]
Predators Hunt Boom Critters [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2324221340\]
Preemptive Strike (v1.4 Fork) [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2884952468\]
Priority Treatment Ressurected [https:// no link (local mod)]
PrisonerRansom [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=794038005\]
Prisoners Dont Have Keys [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2595360307\]
Prisoners Should Fear Turrets [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2602436826\]
Psychic Emanator Retex + Self Powered [https:// no link (local mod)]
Quality Colors 1.5 - Forked [https:// no link (local mod)]
Quality Of Building [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2101676323\]
QualityBuilder [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=754637870\]
RT Fuse [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=728314182\]
Rachel's Anime Hair Mod, Yo (Continued) [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2662195015\]
Ragdoll Physics [https:// no link (local mod)]
Raise The Roof 1.5 [https:// no link (local mod)]
ReGrowth: Arid [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2466442910\]
ReGrowth: Boreal [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2106597000\]
My Little Planet [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=1117406550\]
Roads of the Rim (Continued) [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2280318231\]
ReGrowth: Expanded World Generation (Continued) [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2791768296\]
ReGrowth: ReTextures [https:// no link (local mod)]
ReGrowth: Swamp [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2182111148\]
ReGrowth: Temperate [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2261114471\]
ReGrowth: Tropical [https:// no link (local mod)]
ReGrowth: Tundra [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2107412614\]
Real Ruins [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=1552146295\]
Realistic Human Sounds (Continued) [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2013191418\]
Realistic Manhunters [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2934717535\]
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I am NOT the Original Poster. That is u/AITATAsharkymark. He posted in AmItheAsshole
Mood Spoiler: tentatively hopeful
Original Post: March 16, 2024
I (27M) have two stepbrothers, Justin (30M) and Evan (27M), our parents have been married for 15 years. I was close to be both throughout my teen years, however Evan and I no longer speak since we were 22. This is entirely my fault as I slept with his recent ex-girlfriend. I fucked up and ruined our relationship, and he will likely never speak to me again. I deserve it, and do not blame Evan at all. Justin and my stepmother also didn't speak to me for a couple years.
Evan doesn't want to see me, and so we havent been in the same room since we were 22 either. how this works is basically Evan getting invited first to anything that Justin or our parents are planning, and I am invited if he can't make it. I know it's awkward, and that I've cause this situation, I am just glad to see them at all, so it isn't my place to complain.
Justin is getting married on Monday, and Evan is his best man. Justin and I haven't really talked about the wedding at all, since I'm obviously not invited it would be awkward to do so. I booked a trip overseas during the time of his wedding, to get away instead of being home and sad not to be there. I didn't tell Justin or our parents, because there was no need to bring it up. we all know I wasn't going to be there, and why.
on Friday night Justin tried to call me but I was sleep (middle of the night where I am right now). I got his message this morning asking me to call him, and saying Evan has agreed I could come to the wedding and that he really wants me there. if I was home the wedding would be 45mins away and I'd go in a heartbeat, but im in Europe with a friend from college.
I told Justin that unfortunately I can't make it because I'm away. now he's mad at me for not telling him I was going away, and for all the effort he spent in convincing Evan to let me come. but I never asked him to do that, and I would have told him not to because I don't think its fair to Evan who has sat a boundary. I'm not trying to cause him more pain.
Justin is pissed at me, and blocked me. one of cousins said he's furious, and said like Evan he's through with me. my dad called me later and told me if it's about money he'd buy my ticket home, but I explained its not just about money (although a lot of the trip is unrefundable). if it was just me I'd consider going home, but im traveling with a friend who didn't sign up to be in Europe for 10 days by himself.
My cousins and my dad think I'm being an asshole not coming to the wedding. but I think it's unfair when the wedding is in two days. I know that the situation exists because of my actions, but AITA for not flying back tomorrow to attend the wedding?
edit: i know the majority said im NTA, but i spoke with my friend and im catching a flight home today (Monday) and coming back on Tuesday. I cant lose another brother or the opportunity to see evan. i dont think it was fair to ask, but i cant risk it.
Relevant Comments:
Commenter: Total NTA and your family are all idiots. You slept with dude’s ex five years ago and they’re still mad? And now they’re mad because you declined a late wedding invitation? That’s just nuts.

OOP: they had dated for 5 years and had been broken up for a month, and he hadn't wanted the relationship to end. it was absolutely wrong of me, and I completely understand why he wants nothing to do with me. he was still in love with her and I knew that, because he was my brother and my best friend. I fucked up, and so I can't be defended for what I did 5 years ago. it was bad, it was wrong. if I could take it back I would. I don't think Evan is overreacting by cutting me out of his life, as much as I miss him and wish I could change it.

Commenter: INFO: Knowing what you did about Evan's feelings and your relationship with him, how did you wind up sleeping with his ex?

OOP: Evan and I hadn't really been getting along for a couple months. (I should have realised once they broke up that the reason he was being a difficult during this time was because he was stressed because of his relationship problems, but I didn't. he just felt like he kept being an ass to me. and then when they broke up and I was trying to be there for him he made comments about how I dont understand because I've never had a gf as great as she was. which, I mean, I hadn't had a longterm gf at that point, and that was a sore spot for me and he knew it. I was trying to be a good brother and support him and he kept being an asshole to me.
I was mad at him and hurt by him. I went out one night, saw her there. we started talking, then we kissed and then went home. what was going through my mind was he said I could never get with a girl like that, so I did it.

Commenter: Your brother doesn't own her. Your entire family is being absolutely ridiculous and have convinced you that it's your fault. I recommend therapy, because this doesn't sound healthy.

OOP: i do have to admit, i am surprised at the number of people that think what i did wasnt that bad. I truly do not hold that position, and its not from my family convincing me. I believe that after they broke up my brother ex could move on and he doesnt have the right to shame her for it or to be mad at her for it (although im not sure what being mad at an ex accomplishes?), but i do truly think that my sleeping with her was wrong. it's not about what she's free to do, its about what i as his brother and friend shouldnt have done. i'd be pissed if the same thing was done to me, idk if it would last for 5 years, but id be mad. again, not mad at her, but mad at him.

Commenter: You are definitely NTA. Kudos on the self-awareness and taking responsibility for your actions. Can your dad buy your travel friend a ticket as well? Would your friend be interested in going to Justin’s wedding?
Seems like a golden opportunity to mend relationships BUT also, by Justin’s immature reaction, maybe the relationship is not ready to be mended yet.

OOP: the thing is, I didn't think Justin and I were in a bad place. he was at my birthday, he invited me to his new year's eve party. it's just known that Evan doesn't want to see me (for I think very justified reasons) and so if he is coming I don't get invited. yes this sucks for me sometimes, but I am the one that fractured the relationship and so this is a side effect of that.

Commenter: OP, what about your dad? Where has he been in all this because it sounds like your dad keeps choosing his wife and her kids over his own kid. I get maybe a month of "you could have been more tactful, son," but not 5 YEARS of letting his son be essentially thrown out of the family for one misguided adventure. And now he is chucking a tantrum because "family" so basically your only family when it suits them. Is that really how you want to spend the rest of your life

OOP: I do stuff with my dad all the time. if he's doing something he always asks me first. but it's also not like he plans a lot of stuff, usually my stepmom plans holidays and so she sends the invites first, and I get it. but like that first Christmas when Justin also wasn't speaking to me and obviously I wasnt invited home, he came to spend lunchtime with me. he never abandoned me.

Commenter: So I have a couple questions- how did step mommy treat you vs her kids when you were younger? Was there contention? I’m getting the feeling she’s the one who’s been behind this elongated estrangement. Probably whispering in Evan’s ear to continue it. I honestly don’t know any dudes who would still be this upset, over 5 years later, about an ex - not ex wife or ex fiancé or mother of child - but ex girlfriend. I saw you commented Evan said something along the lines of “you wouldn’t understand because you’d never get a girl like her” and you pulled a hold my beer moment. Did your step brother’s always treat you and talk down to you condescendingly? Seems like there’s way more to the relationships/dynamics than you’ve let on. Were you always the odd man out at your dad’s house?

OOP: my stepmother never treated me badly. I met her when I was like 10 or 11, and her and my dad got married when I was 12 I think. they didn't move in together until right before the wedding, so she wasn't really helping to raise me until I was 12, which is a little older. it was fine. yeah she was closer to my Justin and Evan and did more for them, but she and I still had our things. the flip side is my dad was closer to and did more for me probably. also, big difference is Justin and Evan lived there full-time, while I was mostly every other week because I also lived with my bio-mom, while Justin and Evan did not have a relationship with their bio-dad, at all. there wasn't contention. I seriously doubt she was encouraging Evan to continue it. when I graduated she was the one hounding me for my graduation picture so she could hang it on the wall.
I know some people have said they don't understand Evan being this mad, for this long, but I think I do. I should start my emphasising since we were 12 we were inseparable, even though I switched houses every other week and we went to different schools. we spent every weekend together. the more that I didn't explain about Evan's relationship is just how close we were. we have matching tattoos on our ass (which Justin refused to get) and upper arm (all three of us).
so around the time of the incident Evan became a real asshole to me. he was mean, condescending, always snapping at me. it had never been our relationship. he said stuff, I'd say stuff back, there were arguments. we were not on great terms at all. then he broke up with his gf, and I tried to be there to support him. I thought he was just going to go back to the old-Evan, and he didnt. the dig about me not having a gf was low because I'd talked to him about it before. he said it, I got pissed, and then I went and did what I did a few days later, because I was mad.
so, its not the case that I was odd man out with Evan, just the opposite. it's why I understand how mad he was. someone sent him a photo of us kissing in the club - idk who but I assume one of the ex's friends, and he showed up to my apartment in tears. just asking how could i. seriously I do not think my actions 5 years ago can be defended or should be minimised. I fucked up horribly, because I was mad at him.
sorry that that was more than you asked for, but there it is

Commenter: You're forgetting the other half of the bedroom tango. She slept with her exs brother, too, remember. You didn't force yourself on her. She was single and consenting. Did you ever consider that she slept with you for her own reason? Maybe she figured it was the only way to get your brother to accept that she wasn't getting back together with him.

OOP: im sure she had her reasons. but it doesnt change how i view my actions. she wanted to move on and not speak to him again, which was definitely not what i wanted, because i wasnt planning on losing my best friend.

Commenter: At this point it’s best to stay on your trip. Obviously you didn’t know the change in heart would happen so you couldn’t plan for it. Just know that this is going to affect your relationship with both of them negatively, and maybe forever. NAH because I think being mad about it is somewhat justified (so long as it doesn’t escalate further than it has)

OOP: it's certainly isn't my intention to harm my relationship with Justin. the thought of losing another brother is scary. I just honestly had no idea he was working on this and was trying to have me there. if there was even the slimmest chance I wouldn't have booked the trip. but the situation has been what it is for four years now, there never been a hint or suggesting that it would change

OOP is voted NTA
Update Post: April 22, 2024 (1 month later)
Original Post where I asked if I would be TA for not going to my brother justin's wedding after a late invite. the late invite came because my other brother, Evan, who was not speaking to me and refused to be the same space with me after I slept with his ex, was invited and not me.
firstly, I would say that I really did take into consideration a lot of the comments that said I've been punished by the family enough. Evan has the right to still be mad but after this length of time I think it's time the rest of my family start treating me as an equal member again.
I did fly home for the wedding. the friend who I was on vacation with was very agreeable to me going. I know the judgement was that I would not be TA for skipping, but I was just too scared to lose Justin too. Yes, I wanted to have the conversation about him treating me equally now, but to do that I first needed him to be speaking with me.
Unexpectedly, Justin actually picked me up from the airport. he was immediately apologetic for how he talked to me and the position he put me in in forcing me to fly home, and recognized it wasn't right or fair. he even offered to pay the cost of my tickets. I accepted his apology, but told him we could talk about it more later, it was his wedding day and the focus should be on him and that.
we drove to the hotel where he and my parents and the other groomsmen, including Evan where you staying. Evan came to my room shortly after I checked in. It wasn't a happy movie scene where we hugged and all was forgiven, it was really awkward, two people on eggshells. we just sorta agreed to have a good day for Justin, and talk at some later point. in the end I am glad I went to the wedding, as unfair as Justin asking was, it was pretty clear that having both me and Evan there that day meant a lot to him. I flew back out the next day to meet my friend.
since I've been back Evan and I have been talking and have met up. I've apologized again, but also he has forcing me out. he was (understandably) mad at me, and said he just could never seem to move past being mad, and it became easier to stay mad. but he missed me, he's wanted to call and then backed off doing so. we are slowly working on things. it's awkward, but getting better. I've met his gf and been to his apartment.
I did talk to Justin more about how unfair it was, and he agreed. as Evan is no longer demanding it be a 'him-or-i' choice, the conversation with Justin was easier. I would say that I was planning to man up and tell him I would no longer agree to that situation, and I hope I would have actually done so. but the situation no longer exists. he also did try to pay for my ticket again when I came back, but I didn't accept his offer.
hopefully the year continues on this positive direction.
Relevant Comments:
Commenter: that's just beyond sad. you don't have ownership over your ex. getting mad that they slept with someone after you broke up is beyond ridiculous.

OOP: honestly did not expect this many people to think what I originally did wasn't that bad. I very seriously disagree with them. the ex-gf was free to do whatever she wanted, they are correct about that, but I was suppose to be a brother and a friend, and I did not do that.

Commenter: I really don’t understand how Justin can be mad at you for leaving when it was pretty obvious you were not going to attend due to no invite. Why should you tell them you were going out of town?

OOP: I agree and Justin also agrees with that now. I think it had a lot to do with him having wedding stress and then also trying to bring me and Evan together at the same time. I think he felt like it was one chance and he didn’t want us to miss it.
He realized he had been unfair before I even spoke to him, which was why he came to pick me up from airport and apologize. That said, in the end I am glad I went

Commenter: I’m so glad you updated. This was the rare post where I read every single comment. I’m really happy to hear Justin pulled his head outta his ass. How have things been with your dad since you’ve been back? I remember one poignant comment that pointed out that your dad “saw you all the time” but also never noticed you prepping for a big trip.

OOP: things with my dad have been ok since I've been back. he was upset to learn that I wasn't in the country and hadn't mentioned to him that I was going away, which is fair. the reason he didn't know about me going away was because I didn't tell him because I didn't want him to know. even though I felt like I understood Justin's decision, it was still embarrassing and I didn't want to talk about it with anyone, including my dad, so I went away.

One more thought from OOP:
Right now I also consider myself extremely fortunate that Evan seems open to building a relationship. A couple people have suggested what i did wasn’t that bad, but I don’t agree. I understand why he was hurt and why we will probably never get back to where we were.

Do NOT comment on Original Posts. See rule 7.

At the time, I was sitting on the side of the road, on the outskirts of town, across the street from a dive bar that reeked of desperation and depression. And the only reason I wasn’t inside was because I had just been thrown out.
Let me back-up. I’m not gonna tell you my name, but if you live in or near Las Vegas, chances are you’ve heard of me. The king of the strip. The luckiest man in the luckiest city. The guy you want at your table. When I was a kid, it seemed like a harmless quirk; always hitting the ladders and missing the chutes, the perfect draws in Candyland, something for my parents to wow their dinner guests with when there was a lull in conversation. It was around middle school when I realized I could use my luck to my advantage. My school got bit hard by Magic the Gathering fever and while everyone else was doing their damnedest to craft the perfect deck, I was the one who was winning by drawing the perfect card at the perfect time. Made back my lunch money a few times over that year.
College wasn’t my thing, but neither was staying in town; at that point everyone knew to not play any games with me because I’d always end up winning. But I had bigger ambitions. I had gotten a taste for being the victor and now I was hungry for more. So when I turned 21 I hit the road, with a whole new world of unsuspecting people just waiting for me. Hustling isn’t exactly a difficult science; you pretend you don’t know what you’re doing, fold a few hands, then when they raise the stakes and propose a few big money games, you wipe the floor with them and move on to the next town. I lost a few teeth along the way to some sore losers, but with the money I was making it was never too hard to pay for dental work, ice packs, and aspirin.
But that wasn’t enough. I was ready to go big. And the glitzy lights and siren song of jackpots drew me to Las Vegas. Yeah, cliche place, but when you have my luck, the old adage “the house always wins” doesn’t mean jack. That’s when I started making real money, putting my luck to good use full-time. Every pull of a lever, push of a button, throw of the dice… it all came my way. Sure, I got a bad hand or a crap throw often enough, but by the end of the night I always left with more than I started. First few months I was there, I got dragged into back rooms to be interrogated by a bunch of stiffs in tight suits more times than I could count. They were convinced I was cheating. But they never found anything on me: no extra dice, no hidden cards, no cameras, nothing. I told them the truth; that I was just lucky. They didn’t like that answer, but with no proof, they would send me on my way, telling me not to come back for the day. I learned to pace myself: switch up where I was gambling each night, don’t win too much, stop when the dealer was starting to sweat.
Even with those restrictions, I was making more than enough to not just survive, but thrive. Got a nice little penthouse at the top of one of the hotels, spent my days gambling and my nights partying. Slowly, people started to learn my name, follow me around, and want to get close to me. They all were hoping to sap up a little bit of my luck. And the crazy thing? They did. When I was at their table, suddenly everyone’s hands were coming up in their favor. I watched grown men fight over the chance to sit at the slot machine next to mine. I wasn’t just a great gambler, I was the great gambler. The guy who got whispered about when I walked by. The Luckiest Man In Vegas. Hell of a title.
In the back of my mind I always thought one day my luck would peter out. I wasn’t expecting it to be so dramatic.
It started at the poker tables that morning. You know how unlikely it is to get four 2-7 offsuit draws in a row? But there they were, taunting me. The casino always gave me free drinks when I hit a cold streak, but the taste of defeat wouldn’t leave my mouth. Bad day for the tables, I figured, and moved onto the slot machines. Didn’t hit a single payout for an hour. I was starting to sweat; was this some kinda prank by the casino, rigging the games to take me down a peg? Even the lowliest gambler doesn’t have a day this bad. Insulted, I took my business down the strip.
But the next casino didn’t fare much better either. Snake eyes, 0s and 00s, couldn’t hit 21 to save my life. I began to hear the whispers; some of my regular hangers-on, worried that their cash cow was having a dry day. They started moving to other tables, hoping not to catch whatever dark cloud was hanging over my head. After I got two sevens and a lemon, I decided my day would be better spent in bed. It’d give my luck a chance to recharge.
When I swiped my card on the key reader and the light flashed red, I knew something had to be up. I stormed straight down to talk to whoever was working the front desk; I knew them all by name, so getting this sorted out shouldn’t have been a problem. So imagine my surprise to see some new girl behind the desk who didn’t believe me when I told her what was happening. She told me the system said I hadn’t paid my rent that month; I told her I had dropped the check off a week ago, like I always do. There was no record of it in the computer though, and she trusted it more than she trusted me.
Things went south quickly. I suppose I could have just waited for a shift change to talk to someone I actually knew, or given them a call to get this sorted out. But I was already having a bad day, and her attitude was pissing me off. So maybe reaching over the counter to grab her by the hair wasn’t the smartest idea, but the way those two guys the size of tanks grabbed me and threw me out of the building wasn’t called for if you ask me.
I was making a mental note to start looking into a new place to stay when my cell phone rang. It was my bank, telling me that there had been a lot of “suspicious activity” in my account, and that my cards were being frozen until they could sort it out. I definitely turned a few heads on the street with the string of obscenities I screamed into the phone, but I’m pretty sure they hung up on me halfway through; I would have checked, had I not thrown my phone to the ground and shattered it. I checked my wallet to see how much cash I had on me to make it through the day; I really shouldn’t have been surprised to see an empty space where the neat stack of 100’s usually sat.
The rest of the day was kinda a blur; attempts to contact anyone I knew were met with dial tones and busy signals, and in the mood I was in I got stopped from entering all my usual casinos because they said I “looked like I was there to cause problems.” Can’t say I blame them, but it wasn’t doing my demeanor any favors. Do you have any idea how pathetic it is to ask tourists for a little cash to spend at a gas station slot machine? They all thought I was some poor sap in way too deep, rather than the celebrity they should have been treating me like. By the time the sun went down, I had made my way out of town and plopped myself down at the aforementioned dive bar, and their one lowly, pathetic penny slot. I had found a penny in the gutter outside. This was it: the end of this horrible day, the clouds clearing, the path back to being on top of the world. I put the coin in and pulled the lever.
Watermelon. Bananas. Bell.
I stared at the machine. I swear, those stupid little symbols were laughing at me. I saw red, reared my hand back, and punched the machine as hard as I could; next thing I knew, a few of the regulars were hauling my ass out the door and across the street, throwing me into the ditch and telling me to stay out.
And so there I was. Luckiest man in Vegas, sitting on the side of a road. Everything I had in life, gone in the span of a day. No idea on how to get back to where I was… or even if it was possible anymore. My luck had finally run out, and it had run out hard.
That’s when I heard her voice.
“Whoof, you look like you’re having a rough day,” she said.
“Lady, you have no idea how much I don’t wanna talk right now,” I said back. I expected that to be it; people were quick to move on in this city when it was clear you were in no mood. Instead, I saw movement out of the corner of my eye.
“Aw, don’t be like that,” she cooed. She had the tone of someone who wasn’t used to consoling people, but was trying her hardest.
I looked over at my visitor; she had on a sparkling red dress like she was headed for the fanciest club in town—odd given how far we were outside the city—and a matching red derby hat with a wide brim and feathers sticking out the side. You know those old ads you’d see for Vegas with some perfect-looking woman dressed to the nines inviting you to come throw your life away? She looked for all the world like she had just stepped right out of one of those, but with a sincere smile that somehow clashed with the rest of her look.
“What do you want?” I seethed, looking her up and down.
She sat down beside me.
“So, um,” she said, casually scratching the back of her head as she searched for the right words. “I don’t know how to tell you this—”
“Oh my god just say it and go away,” I snapped at her.
She nodded. “Alright. I’m… Lady Luck.”
Judging by her reaction, she noticed my eyes rolling. “Cute nickname. Tell me what you’re selling, so I can tell you no and to fuck off.”
“No seriously! I’m her.” She leaned forward a bit, staring me down intently.
This lady wasn’t gonna leave me alone, I figured. “Alright,” I said. “I’ll humor you a bit. Prove it.”
“Uh…” she mumbled, glancing around. “Kinda hard to prove luck… Oh!” She pointed at the bar across the street, where four people were exiting, three of whom looked like they were about to collapse and one who was clearly ready to end the night. “Okay, see the guy in the gray shirt?”
I nodded. “Designated driver, I’m guessing.”
“Good guess,” she said. “And he’s gonna get rewarded for that.”
Two of gray shirt’s friends had already been piled into the car by him, and he was struggling to get the third to follow suit. Like a cartoon, the friend fell straight down to the ground, leading to a world-weary groan from gray shirt. Just as he was leaning down to help his friend up, a truck passed by with its brights on. As the light hit his car, there was a momentary glint from around the driver’s seat. Abandoning his friend, gray shirt reached towards where the glint was; when he pulled his hand back, I could see the tears in his eyes as he held his clenched fist close to his chest.
“The hell…” I muttered.
“Alonzo lost his wedding ring six months ago,” she said, happily leaning back on her hands and surveying the scene. “If his friends hadn’t decided to go out tonight, if he hadn’t been selected as the designated driver, if Marty hadn’t fallen out of the car at just that moment, if that truck hadn’t driven by at that moment, he might have never found it.” She gave me a sheepish grin. “I’m really proud of this one! Love it when luck can give someone a story to last a lifetime.”
Everything she was saying was absurd. But the way Alonzo was cradling his hand, carefully placing something onto his finger, a smile brighter than any of the lights in the city… I was in enough of a terrible mood to buy it.
“Alright, fine, whatever. You’re Lady Luck. So what?” I said. “You come here to gloat? Brag about ruining my life?”
“Nah, I don’t like bragging,” she said. “I wanna apologize. I’ve been watching, today’s been way worse on you than I expected it to be.”
“Expected?” I looked her dead in the eyes. “You knew this was gonna happen?”
“Well, yeah,” she said matter-of-factly. “It’s my whole job to know. But I figured I owed you an explanation.” She turned to fully face me, sitting cross-legged like she was a teacher in a kindergarten class. “How do I put this… everyone in the world has a set level of luck when they’re born. It determines how likely forces beyond your understanding will intervene to make something happen, for better or for worse. Follow me?”
“No.”
“Yeah, didn’t think you would.” She mulled something over in her mind, trying to find the right words. “Okay, so someone is born, and their luck is ‘zero.’ That means anything in their life that comes down to luck is just that: luck. Complete random chance. But if someone has, say… ‘one,’ maybe they’ll be a biiiiiiit more likely to end up with positive results. Or if it’s ‘negative one,’ a bit more likely to end up with negative results.”
“So our lives are determined by stupid video game stats?” I scoffed.
“Not everything in life; in fact it’s only luck. It’s kinda an intangible, a mystical thing, you know? There’s nothing you can do to increase or decrease luck, it just is.” She gave me that sheepish smile again. “Sorry, I’m really not used to explaining this to people.”
“I can tell.”
“So here’s where things get a bit more complex.” She held her hands out in front of her, trying to diagram something that wasn’t there. “There’s only a set amount of luck in the universe. New luck can’t just be conjured from nothing, it’s gotta be distributed amongst everyone and everything. When someone dies, their luck is spread out among the rest of the world; when someone is born, everyone gives them a bit of their luck. So in general, things stay pretty stable. Got it?”
“I think so?” My inflection reflected my confusion. “Lot to think about, but everyone just has their own luck. Got it.”
“Annnnnnd this is where you and I come in.” She continued to smile; it was starting to get to me. “I’ve been doing this job for a looooong time. I’m good at it, but think about how many living things have ever existed. Having to balance all that luck is tough! And, well… I was bound to make a mistake eventually.”
At the word ‘mistake,’ I felt my eye twitch. “What do you mean, mistake?”
She put her hand on my shoulder like a guidance counselor telling a student they’d never make it to college. “Look, I’ll be blunt: you were born with waaaaaay too much luck. You ended up with more than a city’s worth.”
Hearing her say it was like a gut punch and an eye opener all at once. “Sonofabitch,” I mumbled, looking up at the sky and taking it all in.
“What, are you surprised?” she asked.
“Nah, it just… hits different when you actually hear it from someone.” I didn’t say anything for a minute; I just gazed at the stars above me. She went quiet too, giving me the space I needed. Once I was ready, I had to ask the next obvious question. “So, why today? I’ve been lucky my whole life, and then you come by and take it all away from me in a snap? Just wander on in and treat me to the worst day of my life?”
Her smile faltered; she shifted uncomfortably, clearly not thrilled at the prospect of answering the question.
“Well?!” I shouted at her.
“That’s why I’m apologizing!” She shouted back. “I only noticed the error today, so I had to correct things. And the best way to do that is to rip the bandage off, metaphorically speaking. Take all that extra luck and distribute it among everyone else. But yeah, considering the day you had, that was probably a mistake on top of another mistake, so I owe you an apology. This one is on me.”
I wasn’t sure how to react, but I certainly wasn’t feeling positive about her apology.
“‘On me?’” I said through gritted teeth. “That’s all you got for me?”
“I know I’m not good at this, but I can count the number of people I have had to apologize to on one hand, so please cut me a little slack,” she said.
“Cut you some slack?!” She winced when I shouted. “You ruined my life, then expect me to forgive you? Give me my goddamn luck back!”
“I can’t do that, it wouldn’t be fair to everyone!” She stood up; I quickly jumped up to meet her there. “But the worst of it is over now, you’re basically at zero from now on. I’m already having to break a rule to set things straight, do you know how much worse it would be if I—”
“Zero’s not good enough!” I grabbed her by the lapels of her dress. “You give all of it back right this fucking instant!”
“Let me go!” she yelled.
I saw red. Before I knew what I was doing, I drove my head forward; there was a sickening thud as our heads made contact, and she went down immediately. Blood started to trickle down from her forehead, the same color as her dress. I went into auto-pilot and dropped down.
“GIVE IT BACK!” I screamed at the top of my lungs as I curled my hands into fists and drove them down into her face. “GIVE ME MY LUCK BACK!!”
Over and over and over, I brought my hands down on her. With each hammer, I felt something more give; another vicious crack, another splatter of blood, another tooth flying to the side. By the time a minute had passed and my senses were returning to me, the woman under me was unrecognizable; a red pulp of blood and bone that would make a medical examiner run from the room in horror. I breathed heavily, staring down at what I had just done, at the lifeless figure below me.
And then… she was fine.
She didn’t magically heal herself, her body didn’t reform and attach itself back together, there wasn’t even a spark or a sound. One moment she was a corpse, the next she looked as pristine as she was when she had come to me minutes ago. She stared back up at me, a mixture of annoyance and disappointment on her face.
“Seriously!?” She yelled.
My only reaction was to fall back, trying to process what I was seeing. She casually stood up and brushed dust off of her dress.
“I-I-I, I’m—” I stammered.
“I APOLOGIZED! I was genuinely sorry for what I put you through! I was trying to make good, and you ATTACK me?!” She put her hands on her hips like a disappointed parent. “See, this is why I don’t like talking with people; you’re all such assholes!”
“B…but…” was all I could get out. She reached down and took me by the shirt, pulling me up to my feet. The smile was gone; there was an intensity burning in her eyes.
“Fine. You want your luck back? You got it!” she said. “Boom. It’s yours again, congratulations. But you know what? You only get it for one more week. Then, it’s over. Got it?!”
I wasn’t about to argue with her. I nodded. “One more week, one more bad day, then all this luck stuff is over. Got it.”
She shook her head. “No. I gave you the chance to do it all in one day, and you decide to get all violent.” The smile returned; this time, combined with the look in her eyes, it terrified me. “You thought I ripped the bandage off badly by doing it in one day? Let’s see what happens when we do it in a minute.”
She shoved me away and turned to leave. I hit the ground, the dust kicking up around me.
“W-wait!” I said, scrambling back to my feet. “Can’t we—”
She was gone. There was no indication that anyone had been there besides me. I looked around frantically, but other than the bar across the way, I was alone.
I’m not sure how long I stood in silence, but eventually all I could do was turn back towards Vegas and start walking. No sooner had I done so then the street lit up and a truck pulled alongside me. The driver rolled the window down.
“Heyo, need a lift into town?” he asked. I nodded, and he pushed the door open and patted the seat.
“Thanks,” I muttered as I sat down.
The moment I closed the door the pitter-patter of rain echoed outside the car, turning into a near-torrential downpour in seconds.
“God damn, it’s really comin’ down!” the driver laughed as he turned his windshield wipers on high. “I usually don’t take this road neither, but my usual route’s backed up. Lucky I came this way or you’d be soaked right now, huh?”
That word rang in my head and I nodded again. “Yeah. Lucky.”
When he dropped me off at my hotel, one of the usual workers was at the front counter. He offered me a sincere apology about the mix-up earlier, said that the new girl hadn’t been told about me yet, and that they found my check behind a desk in the back. They left me champagne and a free gourmet meal for the trouble, but I left it out and collapsed into bed. The next day I went to the bank, where I was greeted with another apology; a clerical error was to blame for my cards being frozen, but now everything had been restored. They even increased my credit limit as an apology.
Things returned to normal for me. The dice were hot, and the hands were hotter. My luck was back. I should have been ecstatic.
But I wasn’t. I was empty.
I’ve been in a haze since then. Because every time I hit a jackpot, every time I get a win, every time someone hands me a free drink, I can see her. Out of the corner of my eye, she’s standing there, watching me with that same smile. But when I turn to look at her, she’s gone.
That was seven days ago. I’m sitting in my penthouse right now writing this. Over the last hour, the lights outside my window have faded, leaving the strip looking an eerie black. There’s no noise either. It’s the first time I’ve ever heard Vegas quiet.
A few moments ago, I heard a soft knock at my door and a woman’s laughter.
Lady Luck has come to collect.

My husband and have been married for eight years together for nine. Prior to our relationship, I had three male friends basically my whole life. Once we got married, I cut off two of the relationships completely, and kept the other one (with some pushing from my husband). We only speak every once in a while and it’s about our families or our kids. During the course of our marriage, neither one of us has had a relationship or friendship with anyone of the opposite sex, not because either of us has told the other we couldn’t, but we both basically say “ out of respect for the other one I would rather not cause unnecessary drama”. Over the last nine years, I have gone through my husband‘s phone a total of three times. The two times prior has been to read text messages between him and the kids because he tends to leave out important details or important information about things. We both need to know. Last week, I had his phone playing a game and something told me to go through it. I noticed a text message thread between him and a female coworker who happens to be his subordinate that I’ve heard him talk about before. Now he has multiple thread with other female coworkers, but none of them gave me a bad feeling. So I decide to start reading the messages from about two weeks ago to current. Something didn’t seem right there seem to be missing messages. So I decided to check the deleted folder. There was one deleted and it was from her and it was a stupid TikTok about “running to my work bestie to tell them something I’m not supposed to tell them”. Something that had it not been deleted. I would not of thought two things about, but something just did not sit right in my gut told me to read the entire text thread. There were numerous messages that I found inappropriate considering that we are married and we don’t do friends of the opposite sex. Without too much detail these were the messages that I found or TikTok: From her: TikTok about making an only friends account. Picture of her gas tank on E and him offering to bring her gas. Numerous text about her asking him if he wants breakfast or lunch. Her asking him where her debit card is, if it’s in her desk drawer. Her telling him that she would be late for work him responding. Don’t clock in. I’ll clock you in. She asked him about Christmas break he responds then she asked about New Year’s and he said that’s not the question you asked me. Her offering to leave her facility to come to his to bring him something. He sent her a TikTok and she offered to buy him a shirt. Messages about her kids to him where he was concerned. Almost daily text about how late he’s working and how he should go home. Our kids are in two different school systems and she sends him updates on my son’s school schedule. She’s telling him he needs to get better at texting him back since they’re friends. She said that the friendship was one-sided he responds. No it’s not. She asked him if he’s in a bad mood he says I’m sorry if I was moody with you. He left work without saying bye to her she says in all caps WELL BYE TO YOU TOO. She tells him I’ll be back over there in the morning and he says good.From him: I didn’t get a Christmas present, but he put in money to buy her a Christmas present. TT about raising daughters.TT that he also sent me. TT about a husband buying his wife pads with wings. He tells her to come to his facility after she clocks out at hers. She sent him a message about a new job and he told her she deserved better, but never once told me in five years of coming home every day, crying that I deserved better. So I find all this on Tuesday and I don’t say anything until Thursday. His response is that it’s just a friendship and he’s insulted that I would think he was doing anything with her. Then tells me that he’s going to go back to work and tell her that they can’t be friends and and that their conversations can only be related because his wife is uncomfortable with their friendship. He then proceeds to start saying how he supports our family and he can’t believe that I would think this, and that he deserves better than these accusations. What do I do? Is this innocent? Am I wrong?
tl;dr husband is friends with girl at work

I, (22F), went with my boyfriend (28M) on a trip to Cancun during January of 2023. During this trip my boyfriend proposed to me. At that point in time we had been together for 3 years. The next day to celebrate we went to a club called Coco Bongo. This club is an event that includes dancers/ musicians/ shows and at the end it all turns into a dance party. It’s loads of fun. The alcohol is unlimited and everyone is in a good mood.
After around an hour or two of being there I told my boyfriend that I had to go to the restroom. He followed me to the area and waited outside for me. When I walked out to the restroom I found him standing very close to one of the workers (who had an offended look on her face). I was confused but didn’t ask any questions since my boyfriend still seemed to be in an extremely good mood. A few seconds later I saw security approaching us and the worker was pointing a finger at my boyfriend (who had just proposed the day before if I may add). Multiple security men picked my boyfriend up, took a picture of his face and told him to leave before they called the police. They kept saying “you know what you did” and my boyfriend kept acting confused and shocked.
I asked them what happened and they said he had groped the workers ass while I was in the restroom. I told them that it wasn’t possible and that there must be a mistake. They brought the employee to speak with me and she said that the two of them were “playing a game” and all of the sudden he reached out and groped her. I left in disbelief. While we walked to the car I asked my boyfriend what happened. He said that while I was in the restroom the worker came up to him and offered to play a game. She drew tic tac toe on his hand and if she won he had to buy her a drink but if he won he got a free drink. Supposedly I walked out and that was it. He said the story ended there and nothing ever happened. I walked out before anyone had even won or lost. And that allegedly the employee saw me and became jealous that he had a girlfriend so she accused him out of anger.
I became irate. He had just proposed to me the day before. He was drunk out of his mind. Our hotel was 5 minutes away so he insisted on driving our rental car regardless. I argued with him on the ride home about it and he started saying “f** you for believing her and not me. F** you for this and that” he was extremely angry. A cop drove by us and my boyfriend flipped him off . Needless to say we got pulled over. The police could smell the alcohol in his breath. He said that unless we paid him money (the exact amount I forgot but it was several hundreds) he was going to take him to jail for driving drunk and for disrespecting a police officer . I begged and started crying the police so he could just let us go but it was too late obviously. He screamed for us to get out of the car and started patting my boyfriend down. At the end of the day he paid him the money. We went home to the hotel and he spent the entire night screaming at me and blaming me. One of the biggest arguments we had ever gotten into.
Obviously this was nearly the end of our relationship. Flash forward another 14 months and we still haven’t gone to the club. He says I’m “boring” and reminds me all of the time that I’m a hard ass. He says that I make him want to “go with someone else to have fun with him”. It’s like he forgot what happened. It took me so long to even stay with him, much less go to clubs again?? I’m simply not ready for it. I don’t know if I’ll ever be. Since then he’s been caught several times cheating in other ways. I know I shouldn’t stay with him but the real question is : AITA for not going to the club anymore with my bf. To this day he denies ever grabbing her. (Please don’t tell me to leave lol I know I should, just like objectively, am I crazy for not ever going to the club with him)

Recently, there was a big hullabaloo about a very specific book called The Rage of Dragons, made by a small publisher through a kickstarter. The art on the cover can easily be described as hideous and their post about how you should shell out over $1k for the art of a book was quickly discredited by indie writers. The book was already liked by a crowd, this kickstarter was for an illustrated version of the story that came out in 2017, with the original publisher being Orbit (same company that reprinted The Witcher in English). This book, with over 33k reviews on Goodreads, was able to receive $88k for its kickstarter.
This is where I come in to say both the small publisher and the indie writers are WRONG.
Cover art is a new thing, barely being a thing in the 1800s and finally becoming common in the 1930s thanks to the publisher Penguin. Before that, there were a few Russian magazines trying to be avant garde and put outlines of drawings on their covers, thanks to the popularization of paper bindings over the leather bound books. Through the 30s onward, cover art became more extravagant and eye-catching as we engaged in competition between pulp magazines and comic books, both focused on action and human poses. Harlequin novels focused on real humans posing for a camera, with them being traced over for the most part. Later on, faces like Fabio became real-life photos that could be processed easily into a glossy cover and not appear strange or smudgy.
In this toss between drawings and models, digital art started to be used to make up backgrounds and fancy lettering. Manga started to become popular, mostly online, with a lot of light novels sharing the art style of manga. Once we get into the freelancer and authortuber stage of cover art, we start to engage in what is essentially a mockery of what covers once were. People will find an image online, hope it’s free to use, and slap it behind a bunch of pre-made font. This lack of production requirement allowed people to start making books for little to nothing, because now a single person could make a million books on their own.
The AI argument is where people are willing to use AI to create their cover art, with the opposition saying that AI is still treated as taboo. Personally, I disagree with both of these arguments because the taboo is only among artists who draw and their opinion is in the vast minority. The average reader doesn’t care and won’t notice, meaning that excuse is a way for an artist to fight for their job. However, the pro-AI side is also equally foolish because of how AI handles art to begin with. It doesn’t understand things like symbolism and focus, and so there won’t be a knowledgeable basis to create effective art that captures the reader and symbolically suggests what is hidden behind the main page.
Both the pro-artist and the pro-AI arguments are part of the psy-op to keep indie writers poor and out of the way. When your opponent is unorganized, there is no structure or institution to attack. Instead, the attack is aimed within the heart of your opponent in order to get them to stop fighting or stay away from the fight. A culture war is based on a media battlefront, with major corporations holding a substantial amount of both organization and funding. They ensured there is a price requirement to engage in media and they ensured there is going to be a way to convert human labor into automation.
It’s not that books need a cover, but a cover was normalized for the sake of second stage marketing. It makes people think that more money was spent on it or there is something to it, with AI showing that zero money was spent on it. Indie being plagued by bad or derivative covers is WORSE than if they sold stories with no cover at all. The fact that a self-publishing site like Amazon forces a cover image to be placed during publishing shows that the institution wants covers to be treated as important. In reality, the only important parts of a book are the title, blurb, and the story itself.
We can make the argument that a cover gives a visual glimpse to what’s lurking around the digital pages within, and that’s a great point. Readers want something to assure them and catch their eye, with a leather bound cover something that feels too old fashion to bother with. Yet, I would counter this by saying anyone could make an eye-catching cover by being symbolic and minimalist, in the same way Jurassic Park was. That cover was a plain black and white picture with the outline of T-Rex bones, bringing everything that the reader needed to know to the table. In fact, I would say that good writers are able to make themselves stand out by being symbolic and showing they know what storytelling is all about.
No matter which way you prefer to go, extravagant or minimal, the cover should be based around your expectations. There are so many people who don’t expect any money and they “write for themselves”, only to shell out thousands of dollars to sell a book nobody wanted and they have no idea how to market. This romanticization of pleasing yourself with your own work and ignoring the audience is why indie suffers from daily attrition in droves. If you’re not sure of what you’re doing, make it practice and make it free. Having $0 coming to you is better than having $2k leaving your pocket because you wanted to play with the big boys.
Really think to yourself: could I sell this story with the title alone? The elevator pitch? The first few sentences? Could I go around and have people beg me to read this story after I mention it? Then you ask yourself: can they pull this story out of a line-up?
If you’re really thinking of making a physical book, at the very least, allow the reader to know what book they’re holding by having the spine legible. The spine, the front, the blurb in the back; we just want to know what the hell it says. This $88k book that people were going bananas over has a terrible cover because I didn’t even know it was called The Rage of Dragons. I thought it was called Rage Dragons with how poorly done the lettering is. But that’s the thing: the book already sold itself with the story alone!
Worrying about your cover and changing it a million times is pointless. A big waste of money. All you’re doing is foolishly obeying the psy-op. Indie just needs to live below its means, pay out less than what it makes, and grow from constantly looking attractive. If indie writers were honest with themselves, they wouldn’t be trying to copy mainstream covers or blend in with some expensive liability.
Use AI if you know it will bring you more money, and use a professional looking cover when you’re making professional royalties. There’s no reason to pretend you’re something you’re not, or gamble your money away on a roll that has all the odds against you with little pay. I’m sure 99% of indie is self-aware of how many people will read their writing. If you think you’ll be selling to everyone in the world once you are able to pay millions for advertising, then word of mouth would be having your royalties increase daily in a never ending way, nullifying the need for millions. For the rest of you who have functional brain cells, stop killing your writing with the cost of cover art.
When your cover costs more than what you make, you’re doing it wrong.

This is the twelfth and final track from The Cure’s eighth album, Disintegration. How do you feel this song? What are some of your favorite lyrics? How would you rank it among the rest of the band’s discography? How would you rate it out of 10 (decimals allowed)?
Studio version
SUGGESTED SCALE: 1-4: Not good. Regularly skip. 5: It’s okay, but I might have to be in the right mood to listen to it. 6: Slightly better than average. I won’t skip it, but I wouldn’t choose to put it on. 7: This is a good song. I enjoy it quite a bit. 8-9: Really enjoyable songs. I rank them pretty high overall. 10: Masterpiece, magnum opus, or similar terminology.
Rating Results 1. Plainsong: 9.85/10 2. Pictures of You: 9.89/10 3. Closedown: 9.37/10 4. Lovesong: 8.77/10 5. Last Dance: 8.98/10 6. Lullaby: 8.98/10 7. Fascination Street: 9.69/10 8. Prayers for Rain: 9.5/10 9. The Same Deep Water as You: 10. Disintegration: 11. Homesick: 12. Untitled:
Overall Album Rating:

I've been slipping into depression for a while now. My last relationship ended of course, my friends moved away, and I figured I'd have some other people in my life by now but I don't.
I finally got myself into a great career with benefits and good money and everything, figured it would give me confidence, but it hasn't. I'm nearly 28 years old I want to find that wife and those kids, but it feels like its never going to happen. I was excited to get home for my week off, I had it in my head I was gonna go out and try to meet someone since I was feeling confident. I ended up barely leaving my apartment or talking to anybody for the whole week. Just rotting in my chair. I've started to feel myself envious of seeing pictures of my friend with his wife and kids and I just wish I was more like him.
I'd like to think I'm decently attractive. I haven't pulled many women, but the ones I have were very very attractive. They nearly always made the first move, I have a hard time with that. And then I go through years-lasting dry spells and I just don't understand. I don't get how I see these dudes end a relationship and they're with another pretty girl within months, or the dudes that aren't in relationships but are constantly talking to girls and getting laid. I wish I knew how to be that guy.
Last night I went to the bar and figured it'd cheer me up. Usually I like to go and sit somewhere alone and live vicariously through the groups of friends having a good time. I want friends but don't know how to make them. I just ended up feeling alone in a packed bar. The booze wasn't covering up my insecurity/shit mood like it used to.
I'm also starting to notice a lot of misogynistic feelings/thoughts in my head, which is fun because that'll surely help me on my pursuit of finding a gf or getting laid, right? /s I feel hopeless and the shit is just metasticizing.
TL;DR: Seeing other happy folks makes me feel resentment. Seeing beautiful girls makes me feel resentment. Seeing friends having fun makes me feel resentment. I'm not ugly, but my social anxiety and self-esteem are convincing me that I'll never make friends or get married because I'm too weird and sad.

1.I can't think I mean that I don't think on regular basis my mind is always busy with emotions emotional thoughts and intrusive thoughts habits that I do regularly are trying to predict the future and trying to read minds while also having a belif that that's possible and it's actually happening
2.I can't be smart I can't think outside of the box all my thinking is ripped from other people who shared their thoughts so I steal them remix them and use them no matter what I can't creat something from scratch maybe because I'm too distracted with my emotional uncomplete subtle Repetitive thoughts
3.I have bad days but rare good functioning ones I wake up with my mouth dry nauseous and in low mood but it gradually gets regulated at night I usually feel calm and get my confidence back
4.Urges to break things I want to break everything I have Fantasies of beating violent ones of course I can control myself I'm taking medication
5.Urges for stimulants I use tobacco every 30 minutes all day and I'm atracted to alcohol and weed and if I had access I would be one of the worst junkies worldwide
6.difficulty with handwriting with training I improved but I had a bad hand writing it shows stress and boredom and agitation
7.organization I look at my room and get that feeling that I'm helpless so I call my mother she clean it for me I don't have any motivation to do it
8.forgetfulness I forget and struggle to retain information my mind and memory are really hard to make use of

1. trouble completing routine tasks like not going to school I dropped out of high-school I was so damn paranoid and anxious and bored and feeling really down so I dropped out and now I can't work I only stay at home

10.hard time with impulse control I can't stop myself from doing bad habits I have many like cracking every joint I could in my body obsessively and chain smoking and let's not talk about ....
11.procrastination I procrastinate heavily
I'm so desperate for help that I don't mind sounding like an idiot and getting fucking downvotes I even can't write dots and commas I can't the mental picture of doing it makes it impossible I'm diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder and ptsd I go to therapy but I feel fucking tired of them I want to hear something about this issues that I have but they keep ignoring me they don't want to listen to me properly and no I won't switch the doctor and I already take meds and no I'm not intending to be rude I'm just struggling so much I mean no disrespect

My husband and I aren’t on the same page about my in-laws’ visits, and it has caused arguments and tension between us. While I don’t dislike my in-laws, nor do I have a problem with them wanting to see their grandson, I want more space free from the pressure that their constant visits bring.
His parents ask to come over to see the baby at least once every week, and when they are here, MIL’s main goal of the visit is to hold my baby (sometimes grabbing him right out of my arms), take pictures, etc. It’s like my baby is a new plaything, and she wants these pictures of herself holding him so that she can show them off to her coworkers and friends.
Baby is still under 2months old and still sleeping quite a bit in between feeding and brief interactions/tummy time, and I myself have been so tired that I’m not in the mood to entertain visitors. When the in-laws visit, I feel like we have to adjust schedules to allow them to “make the most” out of their trip over, and I also have to gear myself up emotionally to not get upset with how my MIL handles my baby.
I expressed to my husband that I would like them to cut back on visiting so often (for example maybe every other weekend instead of weekly), because it’s more than I’m comfortable with right now. I said that I wanted to reserve the right to say ‘no’ to visits on days that I was not up for visitors. But instead of respecting my feelings about this, he has accused me of disliking his parents and being unreasonable for not allowing them to see their only grandchild every week. He has also said that he feels resentful of me that I’m making him choose sides.
By the way, prior to the baby, he was not interested in seeing his parents more than once a month (he declined their visits). Further, my own parents do not ask to come over every week and are keeping a respectful distance until we are ready for them to visit, even though they are just as excited about my baby as the in-laws.
These arguments stress me out so much, because I just want for us to enjoy our baby and each other, during this newborn period where we should be happy and building up our new immediate family. But instead I feel unsupported and stewing in angedisappointment with my husband. We haven’t been able to resolve our difference in opinions on the topic, so these instances regularly leave me sad and unable to spend time happily with my baby for periods of time afterwards.
Hoping for some advice or encouragement from other moms who’ve been through it..