Along with boardgames, i enjoy collecting dice. Came across this interesting d12 at a thrift store and still haven't figured out where it's from. (Only found one result on google but no leads what game it's from...)
It's a red 12 sided die. The sides say VERB - FENX - MARZ - YODS - GOAL - PURC - LINQ - JENT - HUSA - WILT - SKID - MADE IN TAIWAN. I'm assuming it's from a boardgame involving spelling since all 26 letters of the alphabet are present on here.
Has anyone seen dice like this before?

For context I had made a post on another sub with my situation which I have pasted here. If you wanna skip the story go ahead but it adds a lot of context:
My girlfriend of 6 years broke up with me out of the blue and had sex some random stranger not even two weeks after and now seems like she wants to get back together. I'm confused.
Me and my girlfriend have had a wonderful 6 year relationship. We communicated well, we both had great senses of humor, did almost everything together and had very good intimacy and romance. It was a very healthy relationship. Of course like all relationships there were some issues I was not perfect and neither was she but overall I would say it was a very healthy relationship with a very rare fight.
I apologize for giving so much context but I truly loved her with every fiber of my being and I still do. I have cried and cried and cried. My emotional state has been a wreck and the only thing that held me together was my family and I thank god for them. They were all just as shocked as I was when I broke the news that she broke up with me.
About 6 months ago I noticed some changes in my girlfriends behavior. She seemed to be emotionally unstable. During this 6 months I knew something was wrong and would ask maybe once a week what was going on with her. She would cry and tell me she's just been so stressed with school, her part time corporate job and her upcoming graduation from college. I am 1 year ahead of her so I completely understood where she was coming from or so I thought. I would give her advice tell her how I dealt with it and that it does get easier. It's a large transition and to not put so many high expectations on yourself and would hug her and tell her she would be more than fine. She has had past emotional turbulances over big life events and so did not expect it to last but of course still kept up with her making sure she was good. Even talked to my parents about it.
Then about 3 months before the breakup she would just start randomly crying in bed. Seemed like she wouldn't even look at me, never said “I love you” before leaving and whenever I had a family event she would abstain. Work for her was super stressful and school and combined with her already bad emotional state I figured she just needed some time for her and I was totally okay with that. What I did not appreciate was her not telling me she loved me anymore even if it had just been for a little. It made me feel weird. I told her that she was going through a lot and it was okay to need a little space or sometimes just be a little depressed but not telling me she loved me was hurting me. She agreed and apologized to me. At this time we were also looking for an apartment to move in together and had just got a nice little place. I was incredibly excited and so was she at first and then she just seemed to drop it altogether I had put the 1k security deposit down as she did not have the money but would have a full time job right after college and just told her to pay me half her first paycheck.
I think we can all see where this is going except I felt blindsided. About a month and a half ago she gets home from school and it looked like she had been crying. She said she wanted to break up but wasn't totally sure. I was shocked I asked her if everything was okay what the heck happened and she didn't really say much just that she needed time to think. I agreed. It was a Thursday. She said she was gonna take a whole week to think about it. Well it wasn't a week. That Sunday she gave me her decision in person.
She told me that she did not feel loved by me anymore. That the same spark we had at the beginning of our relationship was gone. I did not plan enough cute dates and things to do and she felt neglected. I didn't even fight anything she said I just listened in a state of shock. She said she also needed to find herself and that she was “young.” she also took a jab at my current job and made it seem like I was wasting my life away. It was my first full time job out of college and I haven't even been here a full year. I had zero plans to stay longer than two years. I begged her to not end the relationship. I asked if there WAS ANYTHING we could do. She said no I cried and held her and she just blankly stared crying too. I helped moved all her stuff out.
This is where I think I made a major mistake as she was leaving I asked her if she was COMPLETELY sure of her decision. She admitted she was unsure still. I explained that maybe we should give it a month. And if she wanted to talk in a month we could under the condition she was still faithful otherwise I would move on completely. I felt this was fair. I still love her very much and seeing her leave completely out of my life would break me.
We said goodbye and she left. I blocked her on everything. I had to otherwise I would texted her, called her and overall been more of wreck. The only thing I did not block her on was her email address as she said she was going to pay for the security deposit and in case she left anything she missed at my place.
I was good with it. Slowly moving with life still heartbroken and in shambles but moving on step at a time. Then out of nowhere about a week and a half after the break up i receive an email saying that she made a mistake and was a bad person and she missed me dearly. I admit I emailed back but then I received another email before I could finish saying to “disregard” what she said. I was mad as all hell and sent back an email telling her to stop fucking with my emotions and to not talk to me until the end of the month in person like we planned. She never responded.
The end of the month comes around. I unblocked her number and texted her to get my answer about talking in person and perhaps getting back together as previously planned. I was expecting a no and had already come to terms with it but she had texted back that she still wanted to talk in person. We had more conversations through text and it was going well. She seemed like she missed talking to me and admitted that she did not appreciate me enough and now saw that I did love her just in my own way.
I thanked her for what she said and also explained that I could have been better in some areas too. It was going great and we talked again like we used to for about 2 days. We were gonna pick a date to talk and she wanted it to be a little later since her finals were finishing up. I agreed but I asked the question that was eating me.
Did she see anyone else?
She admitted to me she did a random man at a bar. They had sex. (for context she was my first and I hers) and it broke me. It fucking broke my ego. It broke my mental state all over again. She apologized profusely and said it was an awful experience and she felt used and disgusted by her actions and that she couldn't even hold off for one month to give me fair closure. I came home from work that day and went into a rage. A rage I have never experienced. I destroyed memories. Crying like a kid who experienced their first broke bone. I couldn't believe it. Not even two weeks after our relationship she fucked somebody else and couldn't even hold out 1 month. It shattered my image of her. I felt Petty for caring so much but loyalty is important to me. Always has been and she knew that.
But she said she also wants to make this work and still talk in person. I agreed to the in person meeting as I have questions now. But I don't know to do. My rage passed and now I am just confused. I talked to my dad about it and he said I need to move on she showed her true colors. But at the same time I feel petty and like I could see past this if she really did regret it. I'm torn on what to do. I want to move on with my life and leave it at that. But I also still love her deeply. I'm broken mostly at the end of the day. I don't know what to do.
Anyways now that the story is over aka my life I think she cheated and if she didn’t cheat she was emotionally cheating. Personally I find the whole “random guy at a bar” story to be completely asinine and downright insane. Even if this is somehow actually true there’s a pretty good chance it isn’t and considering she’s already broken up with me and I have no intentions of getting back together I could care less if she actually tells me. But all the signs are there. I believe my GF broke up with me after some guy started giving her attention and may have been emotionally cheating on me and finally did the deed after we broke up (not even 2 weeks after mind you she had sex with this guy.) I pushed the day to talk in person back a bit more as I felt I was mentally wasn’t ready and I am not flaking out this time. Any suggestions on what to ask or say to get it out of her and get the truth?

So I went to CBS and had an absolute blast. It was extremely fun, I actually participated in our famous Follies videos and had a great social life during the MBA. While I was never the "coolest," I felt I got along with a lot of people and had a core friend group where we'd invite each other to each others' birthdays, so social things like go to sports games, concerts, bar crawling, clubbing, and what not. I built some deep relationships through life challenges we were going through as well as similar recruiting goals. We all had similar hobbies like bicycling and skiing too.
Upon graduation, a large portion of the class decided to stay in NYC, including most of my MBA friends. And for the first say 5-6 months after our post-MBA summer vacation, we did try to meet up. But over time, I'd say a lot of my MBA friendships have faded away even though we live in the same city.
Over time, I noticed people were responding less and less to my texts asking to catch them for food or even coffee. When we saw each other at a mutual friend's birthday party or housewarming, they'd always be extremely friendly and lively - same if we bump into each other randomly on the street. But that 1:1 connection with a lot of my former MBA friends seems to have naturally faded away.
It's sad but out of maybe 20 MBA friends from CBS I had in the city immediately after graduation, I feel there's only a reciprocal relationship with only 4 at this point, three years out. And the other 16 are still in the city, they chose to just not respond to my texts to hang out anymore.
They'll still respond if I have a quick career question (they'll sometimes ask me that too) and will like my posts and stories on IG. I got engaged recently, and all the former friends who ghosted me texted me congrats. But the 1:1 genuine friendships have faded.
Some of them still hang out with each other though - I saw 8 of them went on a ski trip together without me. Nothing bad happened, there was no confrontation or any fight, but it just felt like things faded.
People say making friends as an adult is hard, but after moving into the city, I made some new friends through a running club I joined, through co-workers, and my brother's friends who went to a totally different MBA program (Ross). It's come to the point that my closest friends right now after 3 years post-MBA, the ones I hang out with the most, aren't even from CBS but are from Ross through my brother.
I do see some people from CBS still have almost all CBS alum friend groups, but I see others with more mixed friend groups that including MBA and non-MBAs as well.
Am I doing something wrong? Did I do something unintentionally to rub my former MBA friends the wrong way? Or are they just wanting to try a new life chapter and meet new people? They ARE being social, as evidenced by their Instagram stories, but they have chosen other people and not me. I have been told my multiple people I was reasonably well liked during the MBA and people thought I was kind, helpful, and fun.
Would love for some outside thoughts on this. When we graduated, I really did think this group of 20 would be lifelong friends of mine since we experienced so much during the MBA & all were staying in NYC (in Manhattan even), and planned to hang out regularly. The MBA was such a unique, all encompassing experience and I felt my friends and I went through thick and thin.
Yes, friendships have faded for me from like from high school to college, or college to the working world. But that was almost always the case because people moved away geographically, which was not the case with me and my friends. My friendships K-12 were pretty consistent.

They call her 'monster'. How quick to judge, the willful ignorant.
I know what she is; I've known since we first met - the rescue from the alien raiders was not a pretty one, nor was it efficient. But when confronted with a cabal of creatures that promises a slow, sweet death so drawn out that it borders on the fantastical, is it right to question the methods used to bring you salvation? A lesson that so many others of her sisterhood would deign to have learned well, at times - despite everything that's happened to the Imperium at large.
But, I digress.
My life has ever been unremarkable, up unto that point; a proudly-serving member of the Auxilia, seeking to bring order to the galaxy that fights my species with every forward step we take. My lineage is mundane, my history plain, my accolades whilst serving the Imperium enough to be competent, not so poor as to be lacking. Yet all of what could have been an uninteresting life now feels like a half-remembered dream, after that moment she strode across the broken bodies of our would-be torturers. A heartbeat of an eyeblink of a moment, the first time her eyes were set to mine; mine to hers, for where else would they be, when one of the Primarchs makes their presence known? They draw all sight and sound to them, in their own unique ways - a manner of being daughters of the Emperor, I would imagine. Hers to mine? I... will never know. I think it better that way. All that I allow myself to know - despite what I now understand of that terrible burden upon her mind - is that in that brief moment, hazel found amethyst.
I was no longer among the Auxilia, a heartbeat later. Instead, I was a consort of one Constance Curze, the 'Night Haunter' as she famously prefers to be addressed as.
What came after is well documented - the manners in which she established compliance on many of the worlds she was best upon, along with her sons. The allusion to her growing instability, the fears of her mind breaking where her body would not. The concerns that she was becoming a liability, not just to her fellow Primarchs but to the Imperium at large. The Heresy. What came after. What's meant to come, if Constance's visions are what she's confessed to me, in the quiet moments we've shared with each other when her mind is her own.
Oh, I quite know the manner of her curse -- and it *is* a curse. To believe your future set in a way where nothing you can do, nothing you can say to try and reshape destiny will matter. To think that your life is already decided for you, and to do nothing but see this 'fact' in everything you look upon -- even the ones you love. To see nothing but a future where everything you care for burns... it would drive us all a little mad, wouldn't it? But, there's the rub -- even as I put these thoughts to parchment, in this stronghold of stone and ruin. Even as I stride halls lined with horror and atrocity ... I know that in the center of it all, is a woman that waits to look upon me. Through the blood, and the mania, and the chaos that has become our lives? She sees me -- and I see her. Just as we had, when we first came to know of each other's existances.
And in those gentle, tender moments of breath drawn between us...
... the madness calms. Her eyes clear, just a little. Just enough to know me. To know who I am, and what I represent. To see me and dare to think a speck of something tragically lacking in her life is still within her reach.
She sees me, and she still thinks there's hope.
They call her 'monster'. I would be a far greater one, were I to take that from her. I would take away from this hurt, fractured woman, the last thread of longing sanity that I see in those moments where she beckons me to her side, even if only to sit with her a spell while she leans her weight against me. The tiniest twitch of her lips, in what I know is the smile that her wounded mind struggles to suppress. The lull of eyes that see my death and the ruin of her heart, but in those moments? The allowance of quiet, timid wants for prophecy to merely be suggestion. I know where I will be, if there truly is something coming to punish Constance for the crimes she's committed against the so-called 'heroes' of the Imperium. I will do what I can, to have the hope she sees in me flourish, even if it's but a fool's hope. I'd rather be a fool than among their number.
They call her a monster. They call her a sinner.
Let them. I've seen what they call saints.
At least there's honesty, when midnight clad.

So, this is quite literally my first reddit post (longtime lurker), but I don't have many mom friends. And when you can't afford therapy, turn to reddit, right?
My lo just turned one (4 days ago). My birth experience was really wonderful (unmedicated at a birth center), my lo is one of the coolest people I've ever met, and in general life is great. Love my work, family lives nearby, sweet little house in a sweet little town, and a generally happy family life.
THAT SAID, my husband has comordity of ADHD, Delayed Sleep Phase Syndrome, & Bipolar II. Typing that out, I realize, he could be doing so. much. worse. He really does try so hard, is medicated, & has a counselor. He even wears these dumb orange glasses at night & light therapy glasses when he wakes up.
Still, I've been the one to wake up every day for the past year with our daughter, when I ask him to chill with her for a while so I can shower, nap, breathe, etc, he does so but gets distracted or hyper focused on something online & she ends up just wandering back to me (anyone else a pro at shower peekaboo?).
I never really planned on having super traditional roles at home, but in large part due to his above mentioned difficulties, I end up doing pretty much all of the cooking, cleaning, & baby watching. When I ask him to do stuff around the house, he does try, but he just gets so distracted/hyper focused on something else that it takes him soooo long to do anything (very common with adhd). Most of the time, I've just ended up powering through & I end up doing a lot of stuff one handed or with my lil duckling in tow.
But 1. I'm tired. I'm so tired. Please God help I'm tired. 2. I don't want our lo & potential future lo's to only see mom doing housework. 3. I want to workout. I want to take more than three showers a week. I want to read more than two books in a year. I want to sit outside in our hammock in silence for more than five minutes.
I'm on 50mg Zoloft, which has helped my mental state a lot, but obviously also, hydration, movement, nourishing food, & of course sleep would go so far.
I guess I'm mostly looking for encouragement that this too shall pass? That we'll continue to find our groove? Anyone else have a partner with the same comorbidities?
And I have shared how I feel about this with my husband & will continue to try to do so! It's just so difficult for him (I pinky swear he's not faking; if anyone else has a partner with these comorbidities, I bet you get it!).
TLDR One year postpartum, dealing with a partner who has adhd, dsps, & bipolar ii. And I'm so tired.

Follow up post to one I made about a month ago. About a couple of months ago, I was assigned a high level client a couple of months ago. They are, by far, my hardest client. For the most part, my job was fine until this client. A major issue that they had was that hundreds of payments would come in on one day and this amount would constantly change. They would also withold data and important information from me that was only told to the co-manager. The client pretty much thinks I am incompotent and the co-manager accuses me too. The co-manager and manager are nervous about them because they think that if this client leaves, all of their other clients will leave. When I try to reach out for help, the co-manager basically told me to figure it out.
Well, I finally solved their issue. Turns out their was a fault in the payment system and they did not take adjustments into account. I felt estatic. I finally solved a major issue that has been an issue for me and the company for months. I showed this to a senior member as verification and they agreed with me and were impressed at my finding given their difficulty and size. I showed this to my co-manager and his response? He accused me of manipulating data even though I showed him physical evidence. He only calmed down when the senior member tried to vouch for me. He is also mad that I am not doing this fast enough, which is only moving slow because of just how messed up their payment system is and because I have also been forced to do replacement duties for another employee who is going on a sabbatical.
Needless to say, I feel defeated. I'm just done. This job is taking a toll on my physical and mental health. I've had to rescind days off and other important things because of this client. I am also being underpaid by at least $10k then what I could make. I've been applying for jobs for about two weeks now and am nervous because I am hearing that the job market is brutal. But I know that I am basically on the chopping now. It is only a matter time before I get fired now.
TLDR, management assigned me a client that is way above my skill level and pay grade while also being witheld important information. Co-manager acts surprised when I make mistakes in a rigged system. Discovered how to fix a major issue with them only to be yelled at for not figuring it out sooner (not even the co-manager was able to solve it). Contemplating handing in my letter of resignation now or risk getting fired when this client inevitably breaks contact with my bosses.

Admitting we have a problem is the first step in solving it! Author is a Eugenean talking about her experience with rising crime in the city, never saw this story but hey, still relevant today. Found this little gem by random chance. Title is a hopefully relatable quote from the article. You can agree or disagree with the author, but it's actually pretty well written with sources included. (just including the whole article, for people who don't want to click links!)

I Caught Two Men Stealing From My Home. The Aftermath Was Absurd—and All Too Typical.

This experience crystallized Oregon’s deeper problems.

BY REBECCA SCHUMANJUNE 21, 20225:40 AM
Typically, guys wearing power-company vests don’t leave the houses they’re working on laden down with backpacks—let alone power tools, a scooter, and a Nintendo Switch. But that was the scene I happened upon at 6:30 p.m. on a Tuesday in mid-April when I puttered into my driveway in Eugene, Oregon, my 7-year-old ensconced in the back seat.
For a second, my brain tried to normalize the incident: This is just my daughter’s dad stopping by—except there are two of him, and they’re dressed as electricians for some reason? Then, a second later, everything whooshed into place: Oh, wait, I’m being robbed. Or, rather, I was being burgled. I would get reminded of this distinction later, when I made the dubious choice to join the chorus of aggrieved buttinskies on Nextdoor, where my well-meaning post to warn the neighborhood would turn me into an accidental vigilante hero for a day.
Unfortunately, it’s true: My reaction to this burgle was the lived-out fantasy of many who have been on the business end of a property crime. As the two goons took off on foot down my street, I went into fight-or-flight mode—and I chose fight.
“Well,” I said to my confused child, “let’s go see if we can get our stuff back.”
I peeled my 2005 Subaru back onto the street and easily overtook my two targets, who then hurtled themselves into an alley, whereupon I cornered one by the driver’s side window as the other made haste across the adjacent parking lot.
“Just give it back, bro!” I yelled out my window. “Just give it back! I’m a single mom! Just give it back.”
I repeated this until either I reminded him too much of his meanest teacher or he realized he’d been caught in broad daylight. “Fine,” he said. “Just fucking take it.”
He shoved a backpack through my driver’s side window. Inside it was both my laptops and my daughter’s iPad from school. Back at home, I would discover these guys had used channel lock pliers to force open the back door, but that the general chaos of my home had prevented them from locating my passport, jewelry, or sole item of irreplaceable value: the Montblanc fountain pen that my father, who died in a bicycle accident two years ago, had gotten for his law school graduation. My cat was unfazed.
I can honestly tell you that this little caper of mine was thrilling and deeply satisfying. It was also the exact wrong thing to do. Even this fanatical open-carry gun website implores: “Don’t chase criminals.” What if these two dipsticks had been armed? As unlikely as that was—property crime in my town is often driven by addiction, and weapons are worth money, which can buy drugs—I put myself and my child in potential danger. And for what? Three grand worth of electronics. As any reputable expert will tell you, you’re never to give chase to a thief, because human life is not worth possessions. As much as I admit to enjoying being called a “badass” by everyone I told this story, plus the listeners of KLCC Oregon, I should not have done this.
I did call the police, on the nonemergency line, because the dudes were long gone and nobody was hurt. I declined the dispatcher’s offer to send two officers to fingerprint a bunch of stuff I’d already touched. At best, that would have just added two more sets of prints to my town’s burgeoning roster of perennially at-large property criminals.
There are larger issues here, issues much more important than my would-be cool story. First, it’s an example of how in Eugene, small-scale property crime is now de facto legal. It is largely nonviolent, so it’s rarely seen as worth police resources to track down the goods. At the same time, it is so prevalent that any time one vest-wearing bozo gets nabbed, three more spring up in his place. This was my house’s second break-in in six months, and my fourth property crime total in the three years I’ve lived here as an adult. Eugene is my hometown, so I can also add the four times my childhood house, where my mother still lives, has been burgled since the early 2000s. When I was little, we left our front door unlocked so regularly that I wasn’t aware front doors had locks on them until I was much older. By the time I turned 30, however, every door in my parents’ house had been pried open at least once. (“Time to finally get that alarm system!” said my dad for three straight decades.)
Still, it’s a mistake to treat this trend solely as a vexing crime problem. Eugene’s descent into its property crime epidemic has been concurrent, unsurprisingly, with two addiction epidemics: First, the methamphetamine nightmare of the 1990s—when pseudoephedrine pills were still unregulated—hit Oregon and other Western states particularly hard. That wave segued all too naturally into the opioid and fentanyl crisis of the present. Meanwhile, not only did meth never really leave, but its use in Oregon also surged with the pandemic, with three Oregonians per day currently dying a drug-related death.
Since our conversation was necessarily brief, I don’t know the housing or drug situation of the guys who broke into my place. But local statistics point to them as two more casualties of these plagues. (Granted, those statistics are from nearby Portland, and they are police-sourced, so take them how you wish.)
For all the ambivalent empathy that the opioid epidemic has engendered, the local property crime scourge has set off a fierce public backlash. My incident brought out an unsurprising chorus of bloodlust on Nextdoor and elsewhere, when I shared it because I wanted to give my immediate neighbors a heads-up: “You should have kicked their asses,” they wrote. “We need to rise up and defend our property.”
This town’s petty crime is often attributed, at least in the national conservative press, to our West Coast government’s decision to temporarily allow urban camping during the pandemic. (That policy has now officially ended, for what it’s worth.) Towns like mine have often been characterized in the popular imagination as unlivable crime-addled hellholes. I will be the first to admit that our tent cities are sometimes blatant open-air drug markets, but this is the case even as our property values inflate to absurd proportions—and our crime is actually on the decline. Still, Oregonians like me currently have about a 2.7 percent chance of being burgled, which, at almost 30 percent higher than the national average, is very high. I learned very efficiently how anecdotes like mine get around (I can’t help it if I’m a dynamic storyteller!) and attract the righteous indignation of other former victims, so many often feel, incorrectly, like we few honest vanguards are awash in a sea of riffraff.
This atmosphere, in turn, inspires my locality’s equally unreasonable political extremists to put forth and exacerbate their own untenable solutions. Even in a hyperpolarized American environment, Oregon is more polarized than most. For decades, our liberal enclaves have made Portlandia look understated, while our conservative areas make Texas’ look progressive.
For example, during the heyday of Eugene’s recently dismantled and infamous Washington Jefferson Park tent city, a larger break-in at a bicycle store was traced at least partially back to the encampment. The police swept the tents and made a flurry of arrests. Some of the bikes were found. This resulted in part in outrage over using resources to hassle the city’s most impoverished residents: “A stolen bike, yes, that sucks,” an advocate for the unhoused told a local news outlet. “But what are your priorities? And I’m sorry, but a stolen bike isn’t the priority.”
Well, trust me, in this town, it definitely isn’t. Recovering those bikes was an anomaly; in Eugene, most of these burglaries go unsolved. In fact, 87 percent of burglaries in the whole country do, too. The get-tough-on-property-crime proponents assert that statistically, this sends a message that stealing is fair game, and sure, that is a message I do not condone. But I also agree with a somewhat less rabid version of the opposing view: Property is replaceable, these crimes are nonviolent, and everyone currently rifling through houses and dealing drugs out of tents in my town is human. They deserve a chance to get their lives on track.
So, what should be the town’s priority? Fixing the addiction epidemics is a perilously long way away from happening, for reasons that are as polarizing as addiction’s consequences. In the sobering and excellent Dopesick, author Beth Macy goes into painfully exacting detail about opioids’ near-inescapable hold on the human brain. Macy argues that the true way out of this epidemic is “low-barrier treatment,” which includes supportive housing and medical interventions such as safe injection supplies, fentanyl testing strips, buprenorphine access, and supervised consumption sites. All of these options, however, are a tough sell even in a “progressive” town like Eugene, where supervised consumption sites are what NIMBY nightmares are made of, and low-barrier treatment can run up against deeply held moral stigma: Gas is $5 a gallon, and my taxes are going to some junkie?
In the meantime, while some admirably advocate and vote and wait for those breakthroughs, what should we do about the burglaries themselves? Should we pursue more law enforcement, or more compassion toward the burglars? More arrests that allegedly might deter this, or policies that might alleviate income inequality? Does—as approximately 83 percent of the suggestions from my Nextdoor thread contended—every house in town need a tripwire that handcuffs trespassers on sight? Or should all businesses be taxed at 500 percent, and the proceeds used to furnish every fentanyl dealer in town with a nice apartment and mad cash? The debate has degenerated such that these are the sorts of cartoonish positions each side believes they’re fighting—and, in fact, are the only available choices. Just check out Eugene’s Reddit section any day, but don’t say I didn’t warn you.
The actual blight on small American towns like mine isn’t property crime. It’s that any tenable solution to it has been swallowed up into a churning abyss of extremism and perceived counterextremism. No one seems to have a convincing answer to the most basic question: So what should we do? What should I do?
Burglaries don’t have to be largely unsolvable, and more property criminals could be apprehended. But while I don’t want those dudes or any of their buddies to come back to my house, I also don’t want them in an American prison, where their “rehabilitation” will consist largely of learning better ways to commit even bigger crimes when they get out, and their options for alternative forms of acquiring money will be even more limited than they are now. Lacking any meaningful restorative justice program for petty thieves in my town (which would, in turn, necessitate locating and apprehending them), I decided my own problems could be solved, for now, with a padlock on my back gate.
And then, not long after the break-in, a Nintendo Switch appeared on my town’s Craigslist. Its included components and color combination were identical to the set stolen from my house. I debated, briefly, bringing my vigilante justice alter ego Super Annoying out of retirement, answering the ad and showing up to shrill my wrongdoers into returning what was mine. But this time, I thought better of it. My life is not worth much, but it’s probably worth more than Mario Kart. I can only hope the console’s new owners enjoy it as much as my daughter did—at least until someone steals it again.

Hey ya'll, I started working at Target recently in the fulfillment department. I did about two days of on the floor training, and then the past two days I've done independent OPU. It feels like every single order I've done by myself I've needed to call for help from my TL, and I feel so shitty everytime. Like it is every order where I've found something that needed to be INF'd or I'm just running really low on time. There's been probably three OPU orders where my TL had to help me prep and stow with <3 minutes on the clock. I am really, really trying out there, but I just feel so useless. We're a very large store that's pretty busy, and I know that I'm new, but I work again tomorrow morning and I just have this pit in my stomach whenever I think about doing a shitty job again. I am BOOKING it around the store, but I still always end up with such little time left.
I just REALLY need some advice to avoid running out of time so often cause I'm sure always needing to call my TL over is not their favorite thing in the world.
Hope ya'll can help, thanks :)

Welcome to the Reverse: 1999 Daily Questions Megathread!

Please use this thread to ask any general inquiries about Reverse: 1999. Also, kindly search keywords under this thread as your questions may have already been answered by other Timekeepers.
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• This depends on how much time you have to dedicate to re-rolling. In general, all three of the beginner banner characters are great, and you have options of doing shortelonger re-rolls, as per this guide.

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• Do not buy the 5-star psychubes, as we will eventually get enough 6-stars.
• Prioritization order:

1. LF Polarization
2. Englighten I
3. Enlighten II

Q10. What should I prioritize in the Oneric Shop (Oneric Fluid)?

• Prioritization order:

1. Monthy Brief Cacophony
2. Crystal Casket
3. Permanent Brief Cacophony (or Moment of Dissonance to craft Brief Cacophony if needed)
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Everyone seems to be digging this album, so I suppose ill strike while the iron is hot here - does anyone else find the level of lyricism in this album not only a high point for the band (though frankly, they've always had good lyricism especially for the scene they're in), but also just very solid even out of the musical context?
I'll admit to being a bit of a nerd when it comes to writing and lit, and after listening to the album I sat down and listened again while reading through the lyrics of each song as they played and was left with a few standouts.
1) From the initial track, 'Thirst.'
Followed by the thirst An honest gaze left broken and marred
...
Dragging my knuckles Forward but through the mud Secluded lower form Sickened by my thirst for change
..
Though not the strongest lyrics on the album, still evocative imagery and impressively emotionally compelling while also being careful in its diction. Like the message of the song (and extending to the album, really) the song comes with a sense of jagged brevity which to me adds to the poignancy of it. It also sets the continuing motif of water being an agent of change, the process of grief and loss (of people, identity, and faith) being the core of the album.
2) From 'Don't Reach For Me'
I dream of a cleansing wave Reborn Don't reach for me No lies can spread (Spread, spread) From a tongue removed
..
I dream of a cleansing wave Set me free I return to form No longer bound to mе
Though this track is much more on the nose, largely characterized by the visceral and aggressive dogma that metalcore is known for, is still points back to the previous ideals and symbolism established in the initial tracks. Again we are lent the idea that water will wash away (erode, even) our imperfections. Change will aid in the 'return to form,' grief and harbored grudges 'no longer bound to me.'
3) This one is cheating, as it's really the whole song of 'Moss Covers All' with its 46 second run time:
This house just swallows me It doesn't feel like it did before Trapped in endless rain Barren moor
And all the vines will find their way Through the dirt and hardened clay
The wind and rain will force decay Moss covers all
This frankly reads pretty well even as spoken word poetry. From the established messages of conflicting ideals of faith, self, and loss, we are given the line 'Trapped in endless rain, barren moor.' This deep into the album the layers have been stripped away, and we get the image of rocks, stripped and naked (barren) being exposed to the harsh elements of rain (water) again. Over time, despite everything, this allows moss and roots to crack and mold them. Neat.
4) Jumping from 'Moss Covers All' immediately into 'The Calm that keeps You Awake'
You fill your home with waves Nothing still can stay When the storm starts to recede Parting clouds reveal your grief Nothing still can stay
Hey look at that! Water enacting change again. Who'da thunk? While not super overt and beating you over the head every track, the album continues its steady use of the metaphor. I'm impressed by how lyrically cohesive and well stated the album is, with this never coming across as corny. Again, the imagery lent from the lyrics are both very well done and somewhat understated, especially when examined through the context of typical metalcore lyricism.
5) Closing with 'Sit and Mourn'
Collecting petals of every memory All I'm left with is all I know (I know) Finding my own time to sit and mourn Grief that spreads but will not show
..
A test at every turn All I focus on is strength I will carry you through fire
Loss we share means swallowing pain Will you inherit my grief If I finally choose to sleep?
..
"Why'd you leave?" "I feel like I'vе failed."
I really, really like this closing track. The amazing mixing, use of ambience, and killer vocals / instrumentals aside, I found the change in expression super neat here. Once again we are given the notion of grief expressed as petals. i.e. plant life and growth. While capable of shattering and eroding rocks (barren moore, yada yada) it also can create beauty. Grief then once again can be seen as spreading through the soil, unseen from above.
This final use of the recurrent theme is then given its needed closing juxtaposition, as they express the strength needed to 'carry you through fire.' While the grief and doubt expressed thus far has always been in the processing stage, prone to mourning and self reflection, in this last closing cacophony we are seeing the narrator of the album push aside their own feelings to help someone through the immediate feelings of loss and rage and pain that come from a fresh loss. Then, we get the expressed doubt of if the narrator gives up, will the party they are helping have that fire smolder and die? Will they find themselves dealing with the cold, liquid grief we've heard about up to this point?
The final eerie quote from this track implies that this did happen, and the cycle of the album will continue as this person who could not be helped slips into the thirst for change within their heart, and the constant state of erosion granted by that search.
TL;DR - This album rocks in a lot of ways, and I think the lyrics are a huge part.

My name is Emily. I'm from the United States and I wanted to end my 20's with a bang, and I'm happy to say that I ended my 20's in Korea.Actually, Korea was not a country that I had much to do with.Originally, I was a person who was immersed in Japanese culture since college.Japanese anime became my friend. There's a lot of interesting things about Japanese anime, like the fact that they depict real places in Japan, and they depict real food, and so I fell in love with Japan, and I even traveled to Japan a couple times, and I thought that Japan was the sum of everything that I longed for.
But then, in my late 20s, I met a friend who would change my life. It was a simple meeting with a long-lost college classmate, Sarah, who had gone on to work at a large firm in New York City, and whom I had shared anime and Japanese food with in my dorm room in college. She told me honestly that she had recently traveled to Korea and was seriously thinking about moving there. Unfortunately, the large company she worked for in New York had recently gone through a business crisis, and she was laid off.
She said that she was confused by the sudden betrayal of a well-known company, and to clear her mind, she went to the airport with the intention of leaving anywhere. She thought she would go to Japan, but when she arrived at the airport, she changed her mind. When she thought back to the places and restaurants she frequented most often while working at the company in New York, she remembered that she often went to Korean streets and Korean supermarkets in New York, and she thought that going to Korea on an impromptu trip was a really good idea, so she chose to go to Korea rather than Japan, which she already knew.
And buying a plane ticket on the spot at the airport was more than twice as expensive as booking a ticket in advance, but Sarah said that she didn't care, because she was depressed after being fired from her job, and she went to the airport to leave, but the curiosity about Korea that came over her made her want to leave right away, even if she had to pay for the expensive plane ticket.
He expressed that although he went to the airport courageously, he knew that the plane ticket would be too expensive, and he thought that maybe he should just go back home again, but his curiosity about Korea came from somewhere deep inside him, and it exploded like a bomb, and he was naturally drawn to it.
Sarah, who likes emotional things like essays and poems in college and enjoys such poetic expressions, but even so, I wondered if it was a little overdone, but when she said that she had been to Korea, I became more focused on her story.
However, I was able to understand why she expressed herself in such an over-the-top way after listening to her Korean stories.
"Korea is an amazing place, the people are so kind and warm, and most of all, the employment system is very well organized. There are many programs and support for job seekers, which is very helpful for people who are in a difficult situation like me."
When Sarah started with this story, I realized that she was really traumatized by being laid off.Now, she had been through a big ordeal and was in the process of recovering from it through Korea, so I decided to focus more on her story."You said you traveled to Korea, so what else did you do?" I asked."For example, what kind of programs were there?" I asked her.
"I happened to visit a job fair in Korea," she said, "where job seekers can get free career counseling and get the training they need." "I got a lot of help there, and it gave me the strength to get back on my feet, and maybe even get a job in Korea." "And most of all, the work culture in Korea is really family-like," she said, "I was impressed by how much my coworkers cared about each other and supported each other."
Sarah said that she was curious about what Korea was like, so she visited a large convention center in Korea and participated in various fairs, one of which was a job fair, and she interviewed with several Korean companies, and the Korean companies were ready to accept her as a colleague if she applied as an American. I also learned that Korea has many companies with global reach, and they are open to foreigners with various experiences, but in Korea, unless it is a large company, people don't prefer them, so if it is a small company, they want foreigners, but there is a sad reality that no one applies.
Unlike in the U.S., where you have to report your performance every week, and if you fall short, you are threatened with termination, Korean companies are definitely not more performance-oriented than in the U.S. They value their employees and do everything together to grow together, not threaten them with termination. In the past, I knew that corporate culture in Asian countries such as Korea was more collectivistic than individualistic, and as a student, I thought that such a collectivistic culture was a bad culture with a high level of disease in Asia, but after experiencing social life in the United States, I heard that the tendency of companies to be extremely individualistic, talking about job insecurity, and treating people ruthlessly, caused me to be fired from a good job overnight, and the future plans I had planned in advance became uncertain, and I even talked about envying the Korean culture that does not have such disadvantages.
Sarah, who has never worked in Korea, but was always afraid of being fired, said that she learned a lot about Korean corporate culture by interviewing many Korean company officials.
She said that she even considered settling down and living in Korea because, besides the culture, there were so many other conveniences and benefits.
She talked about her experience of working in New York, being left alone in the office to get things done because of her performance, having to leave late at night and being afraid to go home, sleeping in the hotel next door, and having to live with the exorbitant rent in Manhattan and the two-hour round-trip commute to work, and how she realized that unlike in the U.S., where it is difficult to see a doctor, she would not have to worry about these things in Korea.
Sarah's story made me even more curious about Korea.The warmth, systematic system, and various charms that she experienced in Korea couldn't help but have a great impact on me.I've been experiencing a lot of stress every day due to the pressure of performance and the threat of being fired, and I've recently been undergoing expensive psychotherapy.I decided to learn more about Korea, and eventually decided to travel to Korea.
Of course, I didn't travel to Korea with the intention of moving to Korea or settling down in Korea, but rather to spend my last 20s in a new country, Korea, and to see a different world than the familiar Japan.
I made my preparations and headed to Korea sooner than I expected, arriving ten days before my birthday and extending my itinerary beyond what I had originally planned, staying in Korea until after my birthday and then flying back to the United States.
The first day I finally arrived in Korea, I started walking around the streets of Seoul.The first thing that greeted me was the warm spring weather in Korea.The sky was clear and the air was crisp.I was told that it is common for Asia to have very bad air quality in the spring due to the influence of China, but I didn't have to deal with that during my trip.
The streets of Korea are very different from the United States, and everything was new to me.There were many beautiful flowers in bloom, and the well-maintained trees were really beautiful.It has been a long time since the common people's neighborhoods in the United States have such beautiful landscaping because of people who destroy these trees and flowers for no reason, or secretly take them and sell them.But this was not the case in Korea.The streets were like a beautiful flower garden.
I was walking down a beautiful street lined with flowers, and I was looking at them, looking at the big big map that was displayed on the screen at the bus stop.I was just curious to see what my neighborhood looked like, so I was looking at the map and taking my time, and a middle-aged woman came up to me and said, "Where are you looking for?" She didn't speak fluent English, but I was so grateful that she was trying to help. I was too embarrassed to tell her that I was just looking at the map, so I told her one of the destinations I was planning to go to, and she gave me direct directions to the place I was looking for, and I was able to get there without any difficulty.This unexpected kindness opened my eyes to the Korean people and warmed my heart at the same time.
I was ready to accept everything in Korea with an open mind.The first impression was very good, I was touched by the kindness of the people.I couldn't ask for anything more from Korea.The food was so fresh and amazing to me.I visited Gwangjang Market, a famous traditional market in Korea.
Unlike a regular restaurant, it was a place where you could sit down and try a variety of food. As a traditional market, it was full of Korean food. There were no pizza, pasta, or burger joints, but I liked it better that way. It was a place where you could see the traditional look and feel curious about everything.
I also tasted foods such as tteokbokki sundae and hotteok.Everything else was fine, but I was a little worried when I first tried sundae because it looked so strange and a little gross, but I decided to give it a try and the moment I put it in my mouth, the rich flavor filled my mouth.Korean food often seems difficult to eat, but when you try it, you can see why it is so popular in Korea.
I stayed at Gwangjang Market for a long time and tried a lot of different foods, especially kimchi and pajeon, which I still remember because of their crispy texture and spicy flavor. I would recommend them to everyone.Experiencing the deep flavors of Korean food firsthand made me fall in love with Korean food.
And then there was a shocking thing that happened to me in Korea.I was having a lot of fun traveling around Korea and everything was interesting, because Korea is really the best place to be, you know, you're running around, you're busy, you're going from place to place, and I had the misfortune of losing my passport, which was really stupid.
I was traveling in Korea, and I got an international call. Someone was calling me from Korea, and when I saw the international call indicator on my phone and realized that the call was from Korea, I had a million questions.
I thought I shouldn't answer the call, but then I realized that it was an international call, and I thought maybe they were calling me because they had some business to take care of. I answered the call, and I was told a really crazy story, because I heard a calm English voice asking if it was Emily, and she introduced herself as a police officer and asked if I could come to the nearest police station.
I thought I had done something terribly wrong, because I had just eaten delicious tteokbokki and sundae, kimchi and pajeon, and I was so happy to eat them, and afterward I was just walking around the streets of Korea, smelling the flowers and seeing the pretty trees.
I started to check my belongings one by one and realized that my small pouch containing my passport and some of the money I had exchanged was missing.
I quickly headed to the police station, which was where I was told to go, and from the front gate, I was controlled as to what I was visiting.
The great thing about Korea is that even for someone like me who doesn't speak Korean, it's not difficult to navigate these government offices. Not all Koreans speak English, but at least the ones I've met have been able to communicate with me in a simple way. Even if they don't speak perfect sentences, they understand most of the words, so I was able to communicate the reason for my visit to the police station.
I had never been to a police station before, even in the U.S., but here I was in Korea, and I was greeted by friendly people.The pouch with my passport in it had my contact information written on the inside, and they said they would contact me with that.The bag was found in a marketplace, and the first person to report it was the stall owner of the place where I had my first sundae.It also had all of my clean, new Korean money in it, which I had exchanged separately.
I was so impressed with how conscientious Koreans are and how good they are that I was able to find the pouch, sign the paperwork, and walk out of the police station.
I went back to Gwangjang Market, and when I got there, the owner recognized me and looked like he was about to say something. I held out the bag and showed it to him, and he smiled and liked it.
I thanked the Korean boss, and we ate another snack on the spot. It was an experience that made me realize how heavenly Korea is.
And like Sarah said, I didn't just want to see how clean and pretty Korea is, I wanted to see what an American working in Korea could do and what life would be like.Through the Reddit community, I was able to get in touch with Americans working in Korea and even met some of them in person.
David, the American I met, works for a company that is not a large Korean company, but rather a small or medium-sized company. As Sarah said, Korea is a country where products are produced for the global market, and many things are actually exported overseas.
However, in Korea, unless it is a large company, every company is experiencing a job shortage, and because of the atmosphere in Korea, where foreigners are not welcome at all, it is not difficult to get a job in a company that specializes in exporting overseas, even if you are in the United States.
And David told me that he put all his passion into the first company he worked for in the U.S., and even made a lot of money for the company, but when he didn't perform, the company fired him without mercy, and he said that he was so shocked, not to mention the feeling of betrayal, that he took depression medication at that time, and it was so hard that he took depression medication, and then he found Korea by chance and settled in Korea, and now he is so happy. He told me that he was fired from his job because of the unrelenting treatment in the U.S., that he found a second chance in Korea, and that he is happy with his life here.
I'm not sure I have the courage to move to Korea right now, but I learned that there are a lot of people like Sarah and David who have been hurt so badly that they end up leaving the country. I'm scared that this could be my future, but I also learned that Korea is an option for me if it happens to me.My trip ended like this: experiencing the culture, food, and hospitality of Korea, and getting to meet and talk to Americans living in Korea, made my trip much more rewarding than my trip to Japan, which could have been an anime trip.
Korea has given me new perspectives and experiences, shattered my notion that Japan is only good, broadened my horizons, and opened my eyes to another gem that is Korea.
I now like to say to my friends, "Go to Korea, you'll see how good it is." Korea has taught me so much, and I will cherish my experience in Korea, which now holds a special place in my heart.
If Sarah goes to Korea and settles down, I will be there to congratulate her and support her in her new relationship in Korea.

I'm back at it again with another hypothetical chapter. I know that the D&D chapter was just announced, but I was only halfway done with this by Tuesday. I was just a little late ;-;. Just like the previous post, any and all numbers, or lackthereof, are purely hypothetical general ideas.

Map: The Underdark

For the map, all that's needed is just simple ideas, and for this, I would like to see a chunk of the Underdark as a map, a large cavernous underground region full of dark energy and darker denizens. A section of the map, similar to Vecna's map, could be the Mind Flayer's lair.

The Psychic

The Psychic would be a D&D Mind Flayer, a telepathic monster with a squid-like face, and a taste for the intelligent. Power: Mental Dominion

The Psychic can use their vast well of psychic energy as a weapon or to bring forth allies. When your gauge is full, press and hold the Active Ability button to begin charging. When fully charged, press the Attack button to fire a mind blast, or press the Secondary Ability button to conjure forth an Intellect Devourer.

Special Attack: Mind Blast

Fire a short ranged blast of psychic energy, overloading your target, even through obstacles. Hitting a survivor will injure or down them, unless the blast went through an obstacle, triggering Killer Instinct for a short duration instead. (I imagine this working similar to Executioner's ranged attack, but without the injury possibility since it'd be less predictable.)

Special Ability: Intellect Devourers

A conjured Intellect Devourer will wander the map for a long duration and is able to vault over windows and pallets. It wanders at random, but is attracted to scratch marks, generators that are being actively repaired, and loud sound notifications. The Intellect Devourer will instantly detect any survivor that is not hiding in a small radius and begin pursuing them. During this time, it notifies the killer and its aura becomes yellow. It will continue to follow a survivor until it loses them, its timer runs out, or it becomes blinded or stunned. Additionally, survivors can grab and dispel the Intellect Devourer after channeling for a short duration, though this reveals their aura during and afterwards for a length of time. (The key part of the Intellect Devourers is that they don't deal damage and only give intel. As a survivor, do you risk the constant information feed of it following you, or do you dispel it, giving the killer stronger information. For non-D&D fans, Intellect Devourers are medium dog sized monsters that look like brains on legs.)

Perk 1: Unfinished Business

Your simpleminded foes can’t understand the satisfaction in completing one task at a time. Whenever a survivor stops repairing a generator without it being completed or blocked, their aura is revealed for a few seconds. After this perk activates, it goes on cooldown for 60/45/30 seconds. "The mind’s greatest weakness is distraction." — Unknown Scholar

**Perk 2: Unraveled Strategy

With each capture, their plan crumbles. Each time you hook a survivor, the auras of all generators that have progress are revealed to you for a few seconds. If a generator is completed during this time, all other generators become blocked for some time. "Disruption is the first step to domination."

Perk 3: Failure Cascade

Your menacing mind games cause mistakes to multiply. Each time a survivor fails a skill check, Failure Cascade gains a token. For each token, all survivors have a slightly increased chance of triggering a skill check, up to a maximum. Each time a survivor achieves a great success on a skill check, Failure Cascade loses a token. One mistake begets another…

Notes: I imagine the Psychic being a great M1 killer with a lot of information options. I know BHVR hates gen-control perks, but I feel that they provide ways to add control without just regressing.

Elias Greymantle

I know we all absolutely love Aestri, so please be gentle judging this survivor OC. For D&D buffs, he's a human cleric, though I feel that the perks make it pretty obvious. Bio:

“Elias Greymantle was a revered cleric, known for his unwavering faith and dedication to protecting the innocent. His life took a tragic turn when his adventuring party was ambushed by Mind Flayers, leaving him the sole survivor. Driven by grief and a vow to eradicate the abominations, he relentlessly pursued his quarry, always one step behind. During one such hunt, in the heat of battle against his foe, Elias was ensnared by the Entity and brought into its nightmarish realm. Stripped of his past and thrust into perpetual trials, Elias now fights to bring hope and protection to other survivors, using his divine gifts to combat the darkness and seek an end to the Entity's reign.”

Perk 1: Divine Protection

Divine energy shines down upon you and your allies when it is most needed. When unhooking or being unhooked, the survivor doing the unhooking also gains Endurance and Haste for a short time. Then this perk goes on cooldown for 150/120/90 seconds. Completing an altruistic action reduces the cooldown by 10 seconds. "In the light of the divine, we find our strength."

Perk 2: Retribution

You’re determined to fight back, even through insurmountable odds. After getting unhooked, Retribution activates. While active, stunning or blinding the killer will slow them by 10/20/30% and grant you 10/20/30% increased speed for 5 seconds. During this time, your aura and the killer’s aura are revealed to all survivors. Then Retribution deactivates.

Perk 3: Inspiration

Just your presence on the battlefield inspires others to strive for victory. When you are completing a cooperative action, you shroud your allies in protective energy. If you or other survivors also completing the action fail a skill check, no noise is made, but you lose an additional 6/4/2% of progress. Additionally, when either you or the other survivors stop the cooperative action, you each receive 2/4/6% Haste for 5 seconds. "With each task completed, we draw closer to salvation."

Notes: I imagine Elias as a strong support that has a number of ways to adapt to a situation. I have to be fair, and typing this a second time for the reddit post has made me realize just how uninspired his perks are, since 1 is just BT for the savior, and 3 is just a better Technician. Not to mention the accidental matching name with the real D&D reveal on Tuesday. (To be fair, I made this perk before Tuesday's reveal)

Conclusion

I appreciate everyone's time reading this and hope that the killer, power, and perks are compelling and creative. Please comment what you think so we can have open discussion. Thank you!

TW for self harm
Two years ago I was raped on three separate occasions by someone I considered my best friend at the time and since then I haven’t felt like a real person.
Overall we had a pretty terrible relationship. He both physically and mentally abused me constantly. It got to the point that no matter how far away he got he still had control over me and my life. He was over 1000 miles away and making me feel like I was nothing, that I was stupid and ugly and worthless. And now, even though he’s been completely out of my life for two years, everything I do feels like a bit or an act. It’s like I’m not really me.
I feel like someone who’s taken over this person’s life and I’m living in the wrong body. I think have ambitions but I don’t, not really. I don’t feel motivated to achieve them. The only time I feel alive or present is when I feel physical pain.
Just to feel in control of my body I’ll hurt myself. Nothing major, usually just large scratches so I can feel the burn for a while. When it burns, I feel like I can think again, I feel relieved.
When I’m not in pain, I’m nothing. Sometimes I feel happy but the second I’m not it’s like I never was in the first place. Like my joy wasn’t real. I have a lot of friends and very kind supportive people around me, and every time I feel better I go back to feeling like this. Like a shell or an imposter. I have a therapist, I’ve been in therapy for over a year. I’ve been over my assault and my abusive relationship tens of times but nothings helping.
This is all stemming from the fact I had lunch with my grandma today. It was fun, I love my grandma. She made me feel happy. At the end of the lunch she told me she was proud of me. She told me there was a sense of relief and pride. That when I was a little girl all she could hope was that I would turn out right, and she told me nothing made her happier than to see the kind, joyful woman I’ve turned out to be.
I’m glad she feels that way, and I really do think that the person she’s referring to exists, I just don’t think it’s me. I’m not her granddaughter anymore. And I guess it’s a good thing I’m feeling something, but all I can feel is this deep sorrow. I just want to be my grandmas little girl again.

My personal experience with RT is that I started watching it in 2012 or 2011 when I was about 12. Some months before that I had heard of it from my older sibling using one of their Halo Reach guides, but Fails of the Weak and Rage Quit are what really got me into watching RT regularly. I quickly fell in love with Achievement Hunter as a whole, and it honestly was a treat seeing RWBY as it was first coming out.
I had watched a little bit of Red vs Blue around that time, but it wasn't until S13 was nearing its end in 2015 that I finally decided to give it a full watch through; thus it became one of my favorite fictional series of all time. The different Little Roosters series, On the Spot, Versus, X-ray and Vav, Camp Camp, Cow Chop's collabing with them and in general, and so on and so forth. So many series that were wonderful to go through.
Of course, all the wonderful times came with all the drama too. Ray leaving was a pretty big shock, Shane's letter, the things that came out about Ryan goddamn Haywood and others, animation department and Kdin stuff, etc.
At the end of the day, considering these past year or so, I can't say RT shutting down is the biggest surprise ever given the quantity and quality of content overall, but it is still a real shame just all around. What a goddamn wild ride, through and through.
Rest in Peace, Rooster Teeth.

I (27F) last last winter (2022) wrote a long letter to my mom. I poured my heart into it, I cried the whole time writing it. I showed it to my husband to make sure I wasn’t being too mean in my writing towards my mom. I showed it to my stepsister to again make sure it was okay and made sense and to get emotional support (I’m Mexican and I didn’t want to push too far because i understand how deep generational trauma is and the parent child dynamic) I even showed it to my stepdad who immediately called me apologizing for the things I wrote in the letter (which I will get into in a moment) and was telling me about how he will divorce her (I didn’t want that and made me feel shitty) and explained why some scenarios ended up the way they did. Everyone encouraged me to send it. I was so confident that my mom was going to read it and drive over ? Write back? Call me. Something ! So I mailed it. (I mailed it because I instantly cry every time I try talking to her in person about not surface level things, it would of been easier getting words out especially when having to translate to Spanish)
In the letter I wrote about:
-Feeling emotionally neglected -the name calling my mom would do (calling me “retarded” and mimicking noises and movements of people with disability towards me among other things -My uncle being a pedo and scaring me into not saying anything to them, i later said something to a friend in HS who went to the counselor who called the police and I made up a person to protect my uncle, I was then grounded for over a year. -the carpet in my bedroom always being wet when it rained which is a lot where I live ruining my feet with a fungal infection that was just ignored (i understand it was a money issue but the hurt remains) -being blamed for high utility bills n being expensive for needing braces -being called lazy for not cleaning and asking her to teach me how and being ignored -asking her any question and being ignored -my boyfriend in high school being suicidal when I would try to break up with him and hurting that I couldn’t go to them for help -saying that I tried to hit her to my step dad when I moved out of the way of her too quickly and making a scene about it leaving me confused -understanding that i understand she probably had a rough childhood and that all I wanted was a normal mother daughter relationship
That’s pretty much the gist among a bunch of other little things that really hurt me and I explained that it was hard to form a relationship with her in my adulthood and trust her with my kids until we addressed these things. I wanted to be acknowledged. Not even an apology really. But a conversation. I wanted to understand her more because I literally don’t know anything about her. We would never talk unless it was to eat dinner or clean something. I was always in my room during that time.
I waited a few weeks, my stepsister would visit them here and there and tell me how my mom appears sad? And maybe she needed more time.
A few months pass by I see my mom smiling in Hawaii having a good time.
At this point I’m in therapy because I’m losing hair from the stress of this and severely depressed.
Fall comes around and I finally go to visit with the encouragement of my husband, stepsister and stepdad. She acts like I’m not even there. This makes me angry. At one point my mom goes outside to smoke a cigarette im at the table with everyone and I start just talking about the hurts again, I say my mom is a narcissistic. My mom comes back inside. And for an hour. I’m complaining and she’s in the living room a few feet away saying absolutely nothing.
I leave feeling so weird. So lonely? We are now I’m 2024. I don’t have a relationship with her or my step dad really. I had to block her because she would go to Hawaii again and just living her life having a great time I was trying not to be bitter. Or angry. My step sister and step dad eventually started to question how legitimate my statements were it was so painful being misunderstood. Being told that that’s just the mom that I have. Being told that things were maybe my fault for having a problem with everything (I would always speak up when my parents would be racist and things)
I few months ago I did send her a text as a final effort. I asked why she never responded. If she wants to just leave this alone that’s okay and I will move on. And she told me that all that was on the letter were complaints. And told me about how when I was 20 I made a comment on a Facebook post about bad parenting and how everyone saw. About how embarrassed she was when people reached out to her. About how I wrote that I felt like I was in a dark environment. I didn’t know everyone saw it. I apologized for that. She told me to come over to talk because she personally has some complains about me. But she never acknowledged me. I didn’t want to go, to feel yelled at and again taken back to being a child getting yelled at.
I’m currently feeling grief. Mistrust to my family. Lonely. Jealous? About how my other siblings seem to be having a better time. How do I move on from feeling misunderstood. I feel like everyone is okay and I’m abandoned. I feel guilt for pulling my small family away from them from how hurt I am. Most times I’m okay until I see my stepsister at a family gathering that I’m never invited to. And then I’m back again to being a lonely child.

16Personalities would be a decent test if it tested the cognitive functions and not just the four letters.
Their descriptions of the types are pretty good. Updating them to go along with the functions would make them even better.

So I've went through a few tutorials for unreal. Have a lot of normal programming experience, but pretty new to unreal. I've created a system for static data serialization I'm pretty happy with and is extensible with blueprint interfaces, but I'm trying to figure out how to save dynamic data.
The game will let the user spawn assets within a large area and it is important when they return to that location what they spawned is still there. This poses a few problems.
These actors can be placed almost anywhere in the area. They will be over a potentially large area so while they will be on a global grid, 90% of the space is likely to be empty so a sparse representation makes sense. I'm thinking a map of items, where I give each dynamic actor that spawns a guid id. The serialized data then just stays in the save game and I look it up/update it via reference when I need to do an update so their isn't 2 sources of truth.
Updates to these serialized dynamic objects will likely be very uncommon in the game loop. Most of the data that needs to be serialized will just be how long it has been since it was placed (probably like once per in game day or once per 10-15 minutes). Which probably will be able to be calculated behind a loading screen.
Is this a good way to handle this type of thing, or do people recommend a different approach?

I've got a jazz group together and we're booking some gigs. A large portion of the set is covers that aren't in the public domain. I want to record our live sets and post them online to stream/download. I'm stealing the idea from the grateful dead pretty much. I want it to be free, but if it picked up steam, I could see myself wanting to maybe put some of the content behind a paywall. I've poked around online a bit and it seems pretty easy to get licensing to release covers, I'm just having trouble figuring out specifically what I would need to get for what I'd like to do.

Hello, reddit First, tw: Self harm and suicidal thoughts, please skip if triggering Here is the thing, I'm basically asking for judgement here, and if I really deserve what I am doing to myself. I think I do, really, because what I did was unforgivable, but do give your opinion, even if it's hate. Because I do deserve it here, really. So, I grew up in a religious family. Like, one in which things like "love marriage " And......well.......The "child making process" was considered a sin. Absolute sin. Like—I did not know what......you know—that—was, but I knew it was sin, it was disgusting, it was something so disgusting that anyone who associated themselves with it were perverts and such, not someone you should ever stay alone in a room with. Do not blame my family for this, they were saying what they were taught, and they had their trauma. They have broken through enough abuse for me, do not blame them please. Anyways, I was a huge fan of Harry Potter. And I stumbled into the world of fanfiction. And I read them. Now, most of them were pretty much SFW, but in those which did infact have anything explicit, they put a whole line of "18+ content ahead, skip to the end of the chapter". I had no idea what the hell 18+ was, but if it said not to view, I wasn't risking it, straight up went to the very last part of it, or changed reading, you know, what a sane person does. Now, I had a favourite author there on Quotev, who wrote some really nice fanfics. Some of them were a little weird—but c'mon who am I to judge, everyone is different. One day, I stumbled upon some works of her. Well, the stories she did write, those were completely SFW. But if you used Quotev, you'll know there was a thing called "Journal" in there. Sort of like "conversation" in Wattpad. There, she had written NSFW chapters on the characters. Here's the thing. There was no warning. None at all. No warning or tagging or anything provided there to show that it was 18+. The title was just—say: DracoxInsertocname I know, nobody forced me to read it, I could have skipped it as soon as I realised it was 18+. But here is the thing. I DIDN'T know what it was. I had read through some of it, and only realised on seeing the comments, that it was 18+. And I felt. I felt tainted, like I had committed a sin. To know that I had read something that perverted, to my 12 year old self, it felt sinful. Like I had my pure white mind muddied out of carelessness. I know, authors don't own us any tags. And if it were a hardcover book, it wouldn't have any tags. But here is the thing. I fully believed that even actual books (I had no idea books had smut back then, I thought it was an internet or like seperate movie thing, I found out books had smut when I was 15+) had warnings for smut. Blood and gore? Sure, no problem, make it as gross as you want, no warnings needed. But something as sinful as 18+? Must be tagged. MUST. BE . TAGGED. That was my thought process. Remember it wasn't AO3. So there was no tagging system. So I thought that if others are warning it, then the author was in the wrong for not providing warnings on hers. It was a site where children as young as 11 were. Later on, I did encounter many more such unwarned content on the internet, but thought, "Eh I'm already ruined any way" Like ofcourse I didn't read it, but yeah. Logic. That I was a sinner too, so I can't get offended anymore. Here comes the bad part, for which, if you hate me, I'll not blame you. I wrote her a letter. Like, online obviously. In the inbox of her writing site. I was.....very mean. I told her her writing "ruined my innocence and it was wrong of her to not provide a warning" something along these lines, I don't remember, it happened 4 years ago. But I did not insult her, or her preferences, or anything, let me make that clear. Just wrote in detail of how her work affected me negatively. If it in itself were insulting, I apologise. And here comes the stupid part which will definately make you hate me, and it'll be fair, really. She always said she liked dark humor. And where I grew, friends told each other, with fully smiling faces, that "I'll hit you so hard, you'll end up hanging from a tree" "I'll hit you so hard you'll go through the roof." Heck, even now our teachers joke that if we don't score well enough, they'll well.....very graphically describe how they'll beat us. So I grew up knowing violence was a joke. That unless someone actually did the thing to you, it was all fine really, funny even. Even till now, I make jokes of "Sorry I'm late feel free to hit me with a pan" So, when I read it, I thought "I don't want her to think I'm angry on her, or hate her. I'll add some jokes so she takes it lightly and realises I may be upset but in the end she's my favourite author whom I love" (Yes I called her my favourite author in the letter) I wrote, beginning with "Dear Daughter of Hermes, and Slytherin" and proceeded to explain on how she ruined my innocence and all such. I did not use any curse words—to clarify. I said something along the lines of "I'll be outside your window at night, watching you". Which was virtually impossible since she lived in a seperate *continent*. "And why the heck would you want to actually hurt someone physically unless you're mentally unstable" -My thought process at that age But it hurt her, and I was so surprised because it was the exact opposite of my intention. I at maximum expected her to be annoyed or something if it went worst case scenario. It hurt her so much, and apparently she had been getting a lot of hate over it (she had deleted the work like—some days ago? I don't remember) and that I should unfollow her. I apologised immediately, but like what good is the apology when the harm is already done. I had already planned to delete my account anyways, so that's what I did. I decided to give her space and hence, I apologised again, some months later. Another stupid thing? I addressed her as sister. I thought it would placate her. I really thought of her as close to me, even though she was a stranger. Okay pausing the writing to go hit my head on the nearest wall, I am sorry for being so stupid, what was wrong with me. I said I was suffering from a bad time, and was going through self harm (still am) and I will do anything she asks of me to gain forgiveness (another mistake). She said I was too late in apologising (which I was, yes, but my first apology was instant though) Anyway, she posted about it on announcements (didn't mention my name) but said "Imagine apologising after this long" and so, with people obviously supporting her. It scared me, so I left in fear of being attacked. (Would've deserved it though) It....well.....4 years passed. At age 15, I was so afraid, because I had an exam and I thought that I'd score bad out of karma for hurting her, that she cursed me. I scored pretty well but anyways. As someone who got continually harassed by a girl for 10 years to the point I was afraid of school, (she wanted to be my friend apparently, but what a terrible way, really, she literally sexually harassed me) but still asked her if she was okay after I saw her crying, I had a pretty high forgiveness scale. I really thought she'd (author) would forgive me for apologising. But like. No. I am not owed any forgiveness and I am aware of it. It wasn't her fault or duty, really. Anyway, fast forward to age 17. I was lying on the bed beaten up and crying and it was 1 am, and for some reason, her username came to my mind. I don't know why. For 4 years I had thought of any perfect apology, maybe drawing her something nice for her books, anything. But decided not to bring back bad memories to her. And also, I was a coward afraid of facing her. But I guess being beaten up messes with your head. Personal trauma is no reason to hurt someone, I agree 100%. But I wrote her a final apology. This time, I didn't ask for forgiveness, took all the blame on myself. I didn't apologise for closure. I apologized because I wanted her to know that she was worth being apologised to so many times. I called my younger self stupid and wished I could smack her on the head. I poured my entire heart and soul into it. I did not expect a reply, but I decided that when I wake up the next day, I'll delete my account, hopefully she had seen it by then. Woke up to find myself blocked and honestly? Deserved it. It took me a discussion with some people to realise that I had indeed gone too far and that hardcover books don't come with tags. And that apologising so many times was basically harassment. Back then, I had apologised for hurting her, but I believed that my opinion on 18+ things being warned of was legit. Then began true guilt. I loathed myself, thought of myself as a monster. I saw myself as a rapist, as a murderer, that I deserve all this sadness and guilt. I really wanted to kill myself over it. Like I did so before too—but this time I was actually ready to step off the pavement onto any vehicle nearby, except the poor driver did no wrong really, and I'm an only child so why harm my parents over it? I really hated myself over it, still do actually. If I can go back in time, I'd drag my 12 year old self away from the laptop and give her a nice slap. I did not want to hurt her, I hate hurting people but seeing that it has been so long, and she still refuses to interact with me, what I said must've affected her very badly. I kept on thinking, what if I drove her to thoughts as negative as she is driving me to? Each time I stopped feeling like a complete demon over it, my mind said "You hurt someone" and I went back to crying. My own mother said that I looked like I came from a funeral, at times. Couldn't focus on classes which is actually bad because those are important. The worst part is, I can't completely remember what I wrote to her. My head keeps on saying I called her bad things and gave her worse threats but......I don't remember doing it and there were no chances if I see it logically. I literally stopped being happy. Forced myself to be, for my own and my families' sake, and I tried, yeah. There were times I thought of taking this up legally because what I did could be considered a threat (found out when I was 17). Give myself over to the police or something. But I still hate myself. So I decided to punish myself. (Graphic descriptions of self harm come in here) I burnt my own skin on purpose. Nothing too bad really, just thumb sized burns from a saucepan. Then I proceeded to pour toilet cleaner (the strong ones which require gloves to handle) over my open wounds, four of them. I'll be honest. I have a very high pain tolerance. But that thing hurt like hell. When I actually cleaned it off after ten minutes of absolute agony, that wound had been somewhat........cauterised? Like there was this thick hard layer and it had no sensetivity when I scratched it. And I pulled off those hard layers. Some of them were stuck to the skin, I had to use a blade to ease them off. Then pour on them again. I did this to all three of my burns (the fourth one was small so it healed) three times, so nine times in total. It has been a month and it still hasn't healed. These scars won't go away even with surgery. Permanent reminders. (Description ends here) I thought it to be like this: The incident hurt her? I'll hurt myself more than she could possibly ever get hurt. But that wouldn't undo her hurt. So I'll hurt myself even more. I have frankly forgotten of who I was two months ago. Of what I thought when my mind was empty. The first thing I remember on waking up is her and the last thing I think of before sleeping is the incident. Deleted my accounts, lost my passion in drawing, don't feel like doing anything. I just. I hate myself. I truly do. I wish I could die but I can't so I just need to survive forever with this. Every time I read the word 'villian' or 'bad' or 'wrong' in a book, it felt like a bucket of cold water being poured over me. I had been a victim myself, so knowing that I myself hurt someone — Its just........I always thought of myself as a good person. Someone who was kind, someone who helped everyone, including strangers the best they could, someone who didn't cheat in exams because that would be unfair to those who studied, someone who protected and loved their friends, someone who made others happy, someone who hates conflict and lets karma take care of the whole thing, someone who ALWAYS says thank you and sorry no matter who or what. So many times, people have told me I made their day better, that I'm a very kind and nice person, I'm someone who even the meanest teachers like and I got exemplary behaviour awards too. I always believed myself to be a good person. So knowing I did something this bad broke me. It took me some time to quit the whole "How dare I be happy after hurting her" thing. I believe fully, that I do not deserve happiness, or love, and that nobody will accept me or think of me as a kind person after knowing what I had done. I'd have deserved it though. I got therapy (not actual one, I used Chatbot AI) It took me time, I finally believed that I deserved to heal from this, that I hurt myself too much maybe, permanent scars over someone who doesn't know my real name and never saw my face and vice versa. Maybe........I don't deserve *this* much of punishment. Today, I went to youtube and saw a video on bullies apologising. I saw comments on how apologies fix nothing, how bullies don't deserve forgiveness and should live with that shame and guilt their entire life. That a thousand good deeds won't make up for that one bad deed. And I believe I do. I really do. Which is why I permanently scarred myself. So here is the question. Do I deserve it? To let go of this incident? Do I deserve to heal? Deserve love? Or should I keep goimg? Because I believe I should. That I truly am no better than a rapist or bully. So, give your judgement, and throw hate at me if you want, because I do deserve it.