Even in death evanescence
In The Soul Stone
2018.06.29 17:18 B0R15 In The Soul Stone
Smile. For even in death, you have become Children of Thanos.
2021.03.24 13:27 Nihilist911 CrazyFuckingVideos
Crazy fucking videos for your viewing pleasure
2015.10.27 03:13 Idiots In Cars
When idiots get behind the wheel of a vehicle, shit gets funny.
2024.06.09 15:53 Affectionate-Yard899 Yo, new one here.
 | Ok guys , just completed this shit , and i know you guys would've listened it already but still, i literally despise the ending (why tf shu is still alive especially after inori died , they should've been together đ) and story because of it's inconsistencies (not that much when compared to the ending). Anyways for some reasons even after that , i still love this show , even knowing that this has many flaws , i still love this , i don't know why đ. submitted by Affectionate-Yard899 to GuiltyCrown [link] [comments] Anyways About Inori's death , well, it's not like my heart hasn't already become a rock after watching i want to eat your pancreas and Your lie in april. That's why I'm not crying. Thank you for reading my rant. |
2024.06.09 15:53 gargoylin Success so far
I just want to let you guys know Ozempic is working for me and this community has been so helpful so I want to give back.
I have hypothyroidism and insulin resistance and a history of restrictive disordered eating/ED (orthorexia.) Also CPTSD and depression. Prediabetic at 5.7 A1C. Long history of doing a lot of mental health therapy and meditation, yoga, dance, working out, every holistic thing in the planet, and even too healthy of a diet to the point it was causing mental distress.
I did four weeks each on .25 and .5. And the results are in:
-Daily loose stool Iâve had for years is gone within days of starting first dose.
-Depression that can be severe occurs notably less severe and often. There is an element of just not seeming to care as much or being too tired to care.
-Waking up in the morning is significantly easier. This has been a major issue as I am extremely groggy and even confused in the mornings and canât wake up even when itâs important. It makes me late to work often. But in waking up a lot more refreshed.
-Seems to have increased REM sleep because I am dreaming more often. I used to sleep well and score in the low eighties or high seventies according to my Fitbit before Oz but I havenât worn it since starting Ozempic and need to retest it now. I used to be slightly low in REM compared to deep and light sleep but mostly within normal range.
-Appetite significantly suppressed and was eating less.
-continued eating almost like normal otherwise and continued working out and my healthy lifestyle. Was afraid to drink but never drank a lot in the first place. Drinks I had didnât affect me too much.
-Side effects blessedly minimal with mild nausea 2-3x that I can tie to hunger pains reimagined by my brain. One chewable pesto gets rid of it.
-More fatigued during the day somehow but not sleepy. Iâve also worked really hard last year, so Iâm burnt out in this could be it instead of the medicine.
-Fluctuating weight that seems to be trending downward but I not a significant loss overall.
Just started 1mg a week and two days ago.
-Weight loss seems to be really starting to kick in. A little too early to tell but I it looks very promising.
-I can only eat twice a day instead of three times. Food is not super interesting to me.
-One day I did have pretty bad diarrhea with cold sweats and had to take an Imodium after having one drink and some fried chicken thenight before. Unsure if that was just more like food poisoning or what
-Sick with a sinus infection so I canât tell how Iâm doing beyond this yet.
My OB gyn PA originally said she would write me a prescription for this years ago, and I wish I had started then. She had the good sense to check me for insulin resistance when my A1c was normal, and I did have prediabetes back then, but I had to started drinking more with a group of friends, and when I stopped drinking a few months later my A1C was totally normal again.
I was still thinking that I could do this myself, and was judging myself more than I care to admit now. I was offended by the suggestion I was that fat because Iâm constantly offended by the fat phobia in our society, and people thinking I donât live a healthy lifestyle or am not fit, because I am very fit and very healthy overall. I try extremely hard. She is the one that I ended up messaging to get this prescription all those years later as Iâm still her patient. The sub and others like it have helped me realize that I really have a medical condition that I was trying to just white knuckle. Iâm still getting used to the fact that I deserve help and trying to understand that Iâm worthy of it, I sometimes wonder if whatever this drug does increases our sense of worthiness somehow because I find it really interesting how it works for addicts, too, and worthiness is often a main issue with addiction.
TL;DR doctors suck sometimes. The first doctor I asked about this when I decided to do it basically told me that some people can die, and that he doesnât recommend it because one of the side effects can be death. He insisted that insurance didnât cover it. At the end he didnât even put in my prescription for Wegovy as discussed until I messaged him, and then I messaged him and he finally put the prescription in but he still never did the prior authorization. I realize some doctors just donât want to do this. He frustrated me so I messaged my original Doctor PA who suggested it. My other doc frustrated me so I messaged my original Doctor who suggested it. She had the prior authorization in immediately. My insurance covers this completely for me with a $35 per co-pay. I have Blue Cross Blue Shield federal. So yes, some doctors suck. Get you a new doctor. I messaged the one that wasnât supportive and let him know that it was covered, and I never received a reply. Ha ha.
submitted by gargoylin to Ozempic [link] [comments]
I have hypothyroidism and insulin resistance and a history of restrictive disordered eating/ED (orthorexia.) Also CPTSD and depression. Prediabetic at 5.7 A1C. Long history of doing a lot of mental health therapy and meditation, yoga, dance, working out, every holistic thing in the planet, and even too healthy of a diet to the point it was causing mental distress.
I did four weeks each on .25 and .5. And the results are in:
-Daily loose stool Iâve had for years is gone within days of starting first dose.
-Depression that can be severe occurs notably less severe and often. There is an element of just not seeming to care as much or being too tired to care.
-Waking up in the morning is significantly easier. This has been a major issue as I am extremely groggy and even confused in the mornings and canât wake up even when itâs important. It makes me late to work often. But in waking up a lot more refreshed.
-Seems to have increased REM sleep because I am dreaming more often. I used to sleep well and score in the low eighties or high seventies according to my Fitbit before Oz but I havenât worn it since starting Ozempic and need to retest it now. I used to be slightly low in REM compared to deep and light sleep but mostly within normal range.
-Appetite significantly suppressed and was eating less.
-continued eating almost like normal otherwise and continued working out and my healthy lifestyle. Was afraid to drink but never drank a lot in the first place. Drinks I had didnât affect me too much.
-Side effects blessedly minimal with mild nausea 2-3x that I can tie to hunger pains reimagined by my brain. One chewable pesto gets rid of it.
-More fatigued during the day somehow but not sleepy. Iâve also worked really hard last year, so Iâm burnt out in this could be it instead of the medicine.
-Fluctuating weight that seems to be trending downward but I not a significant loss overall.
Just started 1mg a week and two days ago.
-Weight loss seems to be really starting to kick in. A little too early to tell but I it looks very promising.
-I can only eat twice a day instead of three times. Food is not super interesting to me.
-One day I did have pretty bad diarrhea with cold sweats and had to take an Imodium after having one drink and some fried chicken thenight before. Unsure if that was just more like food poisoning or what
-Sick with a sinus infection so I canât tell how Iâm doing beyond this yet.
My OB gyn PA originally said she would write me a prescription for this years ago, and I wish I had started then. She had the good sense to check me for insulin resistance when my A1c was normal, and I did have prediabetes back then, but I had to started drinking more with a group of friends, and when I stopped drinking a few months later my A1C was totally normal again.
I was still thinking that I could do this myself, and was judging myself more than I care to admit now. I was offended by the suggestion I was that fat because Iâm constantly offended by the fat phobia in our society, and people thinking I donât live a healthy lifestyle or am not fit, because I am very fit and very healthy overall. I try extremely hard. She is the one that I ended up messaging to get this prescription all those years later as Iâm still her patient. The sub and others like it have helped me realize that I really have a medical condition that I was trying to just white knuckle. Iâm still getting used to the fact that I deserve help and trying to understand that Iâm worthy of it, I sometimes wonder if whatever this drug does increases our sense of worthiness somehow because I find it really interesting how it works for addicts, too, and worthiness is often a main issue with addiction.
TL;DR doctors suck sometimes. The first doctor I asked about this when I decided to do it basically told me that some people can die, and that he doesnât recommend it because one of the side effects can be death. He insisted that insurance didnât cover it. At the end he didnât even put in my prescription for Wegovy as discussed until I messaged him, and then I messaged him and he finally put the prescription in but he still never did the prior authorization. I realize some doctors just donât want to do this. He frustrated me so I messaged my original Doctor PA who suggested it. My other doc frustrated me so I messaged my original Doctor who suggested it. She had the prior authorization in immediately. My insurance covers this completely for me with a $35 per co-pay. I have Blue Cross Blue Shield federal. So yes, some doctors suck. Get you a new doctor. I messaged the one that wasnât supportive and let him know that it was covered, and I never received a reply. Ha ha.
2024.06.09 15:51 perfidiousfate Questions About Lore
So I recently finished the game, and I really loved it! Unfortunately that means I'm now obsessively thinking about it, and I want answers to all my questions...even though I'm pretty sure some of these are deliberately left ambiguous. Still, I'd love to hear any explanations, if I just missed something.
submitted by perfidiousfate to Deathloop [link] [comments]
- Like everyone, I assumed at first that everyone just never retains their memories except Colt and Julianna. And then Julianna says that everyone used to remember, but they eventually "sundowned". This is also supported by a note by Wenjie where this might be a possible side effect. And apparently, violent deaths help snap people out of it, like with her and Colt and maybe Pick. But firstly, a lot of Eternalists die really violently and don't seem to remember. And even if there's just something special about these three in particular...didn't Wenjie intend to shut down the loop after 50 years? Why didn't she? I feel like if she ever hit a wall with her science or even noticed other people sundowning, she'd shut down the program anyway. Unless she wasn't capable of it? Or is Julianna lying/wrong somehow about people remembering at first? Honestly, the latter makes more sense to me but I can't imagine why she would lie either.
- An alternate Colt says that he hoped to use the anomaly...how? It's a pretty big life decision to make, did he have any specific plans to do so/reason to think it's possible? I think the reason why Colt enters the timeloop again is really important for understanding his character, and Lila makes the most sense, but it's all confusing.
- Is Fia, like, up to something? There's a lot of floating text like "I keep her secrets", conversations like she's up to something with the reactor, her interview has her saying there's one thing she regrets not doing, she'll blow up Fristad Rock to keep her secrets...but then the actual reactor is just an art studio where she does drugs? Is there a deeper goal here that I'm missing, or is it just her dreams/Charlie/the fact that she got the reactor up and running that's the big secret?
- Frank and Colt were killing people who weren't down with the plan, to keep the secret from getting out. But I thought AEON was very open about its time loop goal? Is it just open with the people who already signed up, and before they signed up they kept it vague, and thus the time loop plan is secret? Or are the secrets Frank was afraid of getting out more mundane, like, "hey we have a lot of drugs and guns here, better not let the authorities know"?
2024.06.09 15:50 TheseStaff Matchup idea : Sisyphus vs Belphagor
Human fighter: Sisyphus of Corinth
Name: Sisyphus
Title: king of endurance / unstoppable tyrant
Nationality: Greece
Brief description:
Once the tyrant king of Corinth, was punished by Zeus for his trickery & cheating death more than once.
Forced to roll a boulder up hill for eternity, only for the bolder to fall back down just before it could reach the top. And repeat
This was a horrible existence for Sisyphus, at least for the first century or so. But overtime he not only start to accept it, but gradually started to enjoy it.
Even sometimes challenging himself to roll the boulder up in different ways. From doing speed runs, one handed, even just kicking it up. Learning to appreciate the simples things, like small talks to those who pass by or just the quiet.
When Zeus eventually found out Sisyphus actually started to like it, he stop enforcing it because it stopped being a punishment.
Special ability/talent:
After years of pushing boulders up mountains he build up a lot of muscle, enough to be on the higher end of the strength spectrum for human fighters.
But what's really sets him apart is his superhuman level of stamina, able to go through intense activity far longer than most humans could hope to match.
Exerting himself at his max for extended periods of time.
Sisyphus fighting style is him using brawler like heavy punches, mixed with pankration style grappling.
Volund:
Rolling stone, takes the form of a small smooth marble like boulder .
Sisyphus can use the rolling stone as a projectile by throwing it, rolling across the ground like the world's deadliest bowling ball, or just pick it up and use it bash his opponent.
Rolling stone has special ability to be recalled back to him, when physically separate. Rolling back on its own back to him.
Godly fighter: Belphagor
Name: Belphagor
Title: priestess of sloth / the lazy innovator
Pantheon: Philistine/Abrahamic
Brief description:
Along with Beelzebub, she is one of the high princes of Helhiem. Called the embodiment of sloth, and she lives up to that moniker.
Belphagor was once the angel of innovation, but fell from heaven. She wasn't casted out, but fell down willingly. Because Lucifer told her that in Helhiem she can sleep as much as she wants and not have to work anymore. Something that appealed to her.
Belphagor is lazy to a fault, but she is one of the best problems solvers in all the underworld. Her figuring out the most efficient & quickest way to do something, because she really doesn't want to put the effort into it.
With many other gods going to her for advice on certain issues.
In Helhiem she spends most of her time just sleeping, reading, or daydreaming.
Special ability/talent:
Despite the fact belphagor usually seems half awake most of the time, she had deceptively very fast reflexes.
Her fighting style is more defensive, focusing on intercepting her opponent strikes before they can land. To parry them, or use their own momentum against them. Similar to judo or Akido.
Belphagor chose this fighting style because it specifically has the least amount of movement on her part.
By being so lazy, her body is actually conserving a large amount of energy. She can tap into her body energy stockpile, mostly in the form of short very dramatic burst of speed.
Blitzing most opponent with her blinding fast strikes, from multiple angles.
A/N:
In the match, through at least half of the fight Belphagor doesn't go all out against Sisyphus.
Not because she wants a good fight, not out of arrogance like Poseidon, or to impress the crowed like Apollo. But because it would be too much effort on her part.
She starts taking him seriously, when he starts to gain the upper hand. Even breaking one of her horns.
submitted by TheseStaff to ShuumatsuNoValkyrie [link] [comments]
Name: Sisyphus
Title: king of endurance / unstoppable tyrant
Nationality: Greece
Brief description:
Once the tyrant king of Corinth, was punished by Zeus for his trickery & cheating death more than once.
Forced to roll a boulder up hill for eternity, only for the bolder to fall back down just before it could reach the top. And repeat
This was a horrible existence for Sisyphus, at least for the first century or so. But overtime he not only start to accept it, but gradually started to enjoy it.
Even sometimes challenging himself to roll the boulder up in different ways. From doing speed runs, one handed, even just kicking it up. Learning to appreciate the simples things, like small talks to those who pass by or just the quiet.
When Zeus eventually found out Sisyphus actually started to like it, he stop enforcing it because it stopped being a punishment.
Special ability/talent:
After years of pushing boulders up mountains he build up a lot of muscle, enough to be on the higher end of the strength spectrum for human fighters.
But what's really sets him apart is his superhuman level of stamina, able to go through intense activity far longer than most humans could hope to match.
Exerting himself at his max for extended periods of time.
Sisyphus fighting style is him using brawler like heavy punches, mixed with pankration style grappling.
Volund:
Rolling stone, takes the form of a small smooth marble like boulder .
Sisyphus can use the rolling stone as a projectile by throwing it, rolling across the ground like the world's deadliest bowling ball, or just pick it up and use it bash his opponent.
Rolling stone has special ability to be recalled back to him, when physically separate. Rolling back on its own back to him.
Godly fighter: Belphagor
Name: Belphagor
Title: priestess of sloth / the lazy innovator
Pantheon: Philistine/Abrahamic
Brief description:
Along with Beelzebub, she is one of the high princes of Helhiem. Called the embodiment of sloth, and she lives up to that moniker.
Belphagor was once the angel of innovation, but fell from heaven. She wasn't casted out, but fell down willingly. Because Lucifer told her that in Helhiem she can sleep as much as she wants and not have to work anymore. Something that appealed to her.
Belphagor is lazy to a fault, but she is one of the best problems solvers in all the underworld. Her figuring out the most efficient & quickest way to do something, because she really doesn't want to put the effort into it.
With many other gods going to her for advice on certain issues.
In Helhiem she spends most of her time just sleeping, reading, or daydreaming.
Special ability/talent:
Despite the fact belphagor usually seems half awake most of the time, she had deceptively very fast reflexes.
Her fighting style is more defensive, focusing on intercepting her opponent strikes before they can land. To parry them, or use their own momentum against them. Similar to judo or Akido.
Belphagor chose this fighting style because it specifically has the least amount of movement on her part.
By being so lazy, her body is actually conserving a large amount of energy. She can tap into her body energy stockpile, mostly in the form of short very dramatic burst of speed.
Blitzing most opponent with her blinding fast strikes, from multiple angles.
A/N:
In the match, through at least half of the fight Belphagor doesn't go all out against Sisyphus.
Not because she wants a good fight, not out of arrogance like Poseidon, or to impress the crowed like Apollo. But because it would be too much effort on her part.
She starts taking him seriously, when he starts to gain the upper hand. Even breaking one of her horns.
2024.06.09 15:49 punikagranger A daughter that can't relate to her mother - Who's right/wrong?
My mother had me at a very young age, she was 14, and I am now 31. We've gone through struggles together and have come very far individually as well as in our relationship. She has been there and prioritized me every single step of the way, even though not done everything right, she did what she thought to be best. I love her, respect her and value her. However, today I hate her, I hate her so much. Today marks the 16 year anniversary of her mother's death. A day, I celebrate. She was the reason I was sexually assaulted by my uncle when I was only 5. He was a teenager and she was the adult. It took my whole adult life to muster the courage to tell her that her beloved mother caused me so much trauma and pain. At first she was in denial which hurt me more than anything but I accepted it and closed the chapter. I opened the subject again 2 years later, she was more open to it and said that it could be possible.. However, for the past 10 years she has still been talking casually about her bother and mother in front of me. Today she uploaded picture of her in memory. I called her immediately and asked "Do you think I was lying?" She replied: "No ofc not, is this about the picture?" I said "I don't know how to judge you, but the day I have kids, I will know how. Until then, may her soul rest in peace and hopefully your god will be the judgment" I think it was harsh but I'm trying to heal from all sorts of trauma, not only this and somehow her behavior around this isn't letting me. I feel belittled. Am I wrong to think she shouldn't mourn someone like her? Because it feels like she is choosing her mother over me. I need honest guidance.
submitted by punikagranger to assaultsurvivors [link] [comments]
2024.06.09 15:46 aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaretre Why is that humanity gets the worst of both worlds when it comes to being psychic ? (slight talk about death end v1)
Humanity and Psychic Abilities
If the Warp is like an ocean, calling humanity psychic is like calling them aquatic. Ninety-nine percent of humans can't even use any psychic powers. The 1% who canât even use them consciously and are at most just a bit luckier. Out of those, only one in a billion can do anything%20%2D%20Psykers%20of,Human%20births%20in%20the%20Imperium.) worthwhile.
Dim-souled races like the Tau or the Votann can ignore Chaos and play Stellaris instead of seven-dimensional chess with tarot cards for tiles. Psychic races like the Eldar have more powers can sense and are more resistant to Chaos. Itâs only humans who have souls just strong enough to be food for demons but canât do anything with them.
Only humanity has such a widespread problem with "cults and corruption"âChaos or Genestealer. The Orks can sense unorkiness, Eldar can too with their psychic power, and the Kroot can just smell it. You canât blame the Imperium for being stupidly paranoid when you could have three humans side by side: a normal one, one a Chaos spawn in waiting, and a Genestealer, and they all look the same.
There is a quote in End and the Death v1
There are no gods!â scoffs Raja.
âYouâre a fool,â Actae tells him. âBefore the fall of the aeldari, there was no fourth power of Chaos. The gods of Chaos breed and multiply, propagating like storms through the empyrean. They are born in turn, though they have all existed forever. Time has no meaning for them. The fall of the aeldari did not cause the birth of She Who Thirsts, merely her occurrence. So too with all other gods, be they foul entities of Chaos, or divine forces of sentient power.â
âShe Who Thirsts was born out of the death of an entire sentient culture,â says John.
âSuch is the inevitable fate of all advanced, psychic species,â says Actae. âAnd the Dark King is our fate.
I havenât read the books, but not counting that there are uncountable psychic races and only four Chaos gods, humanity is the one destined to birth the Dark King. But compared to the birth of Slaanesh, it becomes ridiculous.
The Eldar had an entire galaxy-spanning empire bigger and more numerous than the Imperium.
Ten Million Suns vs 1 Milion worlds
they easily outclassed the strongest psykers humanity can produce.
Being in a utopia where they could engage in murder orgies 24/7 with hyper drugs, and even more than their dark descendants, they could throw psychic powers into the mix. All that for thousands of yearsâyeah, it makes sense Slaanesh was born. But humanity has to meet its "end" before it was even born.
This was before 10.000 years of the " the cruelest and most bloody regime imaginable".
submitted by aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaretre to 40kLore [link] [comments]
If the Warp is like an ocean, calling humanity psychic is like calling them aquatic. Ninety-nine percent of humans can't even use any psychic powers. The 1% who canât even use them consciously and are at most just a bit luckier. Out of those, only one in a billion can do anything%20%2D%20Psykers%20of,Human%20births%20in%20the%20Imperium.) worthwhile.
Dim-souled races like the Tau or the Votann can ignore Chaos and play Stellaris instead of seven-dimensional chess with tarot cards for tiles. Psychic races like the Eldar have more powers can sense and are more resistant to Chaos. Itâs only humans who have souls just strong enough to be food for demons but canât do anything with them.
Only humanity has such a widespread problem with "cults and corruption"âChaos or Genestealer. The Orks can sense unorkiness, Eldar can too with their psychic power, and the Kroot can just smell it. You canât blame the Imperium for being stupidly paranoid when you could have three humans side by side: a normal one, one a Chaos spawn in waiting, and a Genestealer, and they all look the same.
There is a quote in End and the Death v1
âYouâre a fool,â Actae tells him. âBefore the fall of the aeldari, there was no fourth power of Chaos. The gods of Chaos breed and multiply, propagating like storms through the empyrean. They are born in turn, though they have all existed forever. Time has no meaning for them. The fall of the aeldari did not cause the birth of She Who Thirsts, merely her occurrence. So too with all other gods, be they foul entities of Chaos, or divine forces of sentient power.â
âShe Who Thirsts was born out of the death of an entire sentient culture,â says John.
âSuch is the inevitable fate of all advanced, psychic species,â says Actae. âAnd the Dark King is our fate.
The Eldar had an entire galaxy-spanning empire bigger and more numerous than the Imperium.
Ten Million Suns vs 1 Milion worlds
they easily outclassed the strongest psykers humanity can produce.
Being in a utopia where they could engage in murder orgies 24/7 with hyper drugs, and even more than their dark descendants, they could throw psychic powers into the mix. All that for thousands of yearsâyeah, it makes sense Slaanesh was born. But humanity has to meet its "end" before it was even born.
This was before 10.000 years of the " the cruelest and most bloody regime imaginable".
2024.06.09 15:43 Anime_eat_sleep Im hard-stuck bronze but i genuinely think my skill level is much better.
I know it sounds egotistical but i 100% know my teammates are the ones holding me back, i have no friends to play with so i can only solo-q. But all my teammates consist of are instalock reyna who end the game with 2 kills, instalock yorus who dont even use util, gekkos who only use their flash and me with some other guy having to fill. And its annoying how i always end up getting match or team mvp just to lose anyways. And in the process of carrying the team i get berated with trash talk because i had ONE bad round. And its always from those instalock reynas doing nothing for the team.
Also alot of my death are just 2v1s that im left in because the duelists would much rather hide in a corner than actually defend site (or attack) and it just infuriates me. Valorant is that one game that i love so much that i will never quit but the people in it are just so annoying. I was thinking of quitting comp but I want something to acheive, something to strive for. In unrated i dont have that.
Also in these low-elo lobbies alot of the games im the only one with a mic. And because im pretty young (14) everyone mutes me so i get ignored all game. Im out here actually trying to have fun and climb up the ranks but its impossible for me to do so if 2-14 reyna decides to run and gun with his vandal and die.
I want Valorant to be my main-game and stay that way but with all of this happening i dont know if i want to with all of this egotistical nonsense
submitted by Anime_eat_sleep to VALORANT [link] [comments]
Also alot of my death are just 2v1s that im left in because the duelists would much rather hide in a corner than actually defend site (or attack) and it just infuriates me. Valorant is that one game that i love so much that i will never quit but the people in it are just so annoying. I was thinking of quitting comp but I want something to acheive, something to strive for. In unrated i dont have that.
Also in these low-elo lobbies alot of the games im the only one with a mic. And because im pretty young (14) everyone mutes me so i get ignored all game. Im out here actually trying to have fun and climb up the ranks but its impossible for me to do so if 2-14 reyna decides to run and gun with his vandal and die.
I want Valorant to be my main-game and stay that way but with all of this happening i dont know if i want to with all of this egotistical nonsense
2024.06.09 15:43 SunnysideupOvary Finally grieving my grandpa but feel really alone
I lost my grandpa. My relationship with my family is complicated but he was the only person who never hurt me. Some of my earliest and happiest memories include him. He was always excited to see me, we had inside jokes, we were bonded.
A lot of traumatic things happened in our family within two years and they always came to a head around my birthday. My family is also extremely religious and I have been a quiet atheist for a decade. We haven't openly discussed this.
My Papa died 3 days before my birthday. My family held his funeral on my birthday because of the church schedule. They asked if it was okay and I said yes, but what else was I supposed to say? They also included a memory at the end of his obituary about holding hands and listening to his dying wish to see his grandchildren in heaven again. They asked me to read a poem and I somehow made it through it. It was a hard day. The people who paid their respects at his viewing the day before were posting cheerful messages on my social media wishing me a happy birthday. I said goodbye to him.
I've repressed all of this. I feel guilty because being so upset about a birthday is silly in the big picture. I think what has been most difficult has been the passive aggressive cruelness of this all. The antidote in his obituary felt targeted; maybe I'm taking it personally when I shouldn't be.
His birthday was months later. I live almost 2 hours away. They told me about and invited me to the family get together they were having for it the day before.
I'm only just now beginning to process his death. I've lost a significant amount of weight and had to make adjustments to the medications I'm taking to manage my mental health. I've been dreaming of him. I want to hug every man that even slightly reminds me of him. He was my anchor to my family and I'm feeling really alone. I don't feel safe enough to process this with my family. And it feels too late to reach out to anyone else about it. I've never faced a loss this significant before.
I think I just needed to vent. I feel guilty for a lot of the feelings I'm having because I think they are selfish.
submitted by SunnysideupOvary to GriefSupport [link] [comments]
A lot of traumatic things happened in our family within two years and they always came to a head around my birthday. My family is also extremely religious and I have been a quiet atheist for a decade. We haven't openly discussed this.
My Papa died 3 days before my birthday. My family held his funeral on my birthday because of the church schedule. They asked if it was okay and I said yes, but what else was I supposed to say? They also included a memory at the end of his obituary about holding hands and listening to his dying wish to see his grandchildren in heaven again. They asked me to read a poem and I somehow made it through it. It was a hard day. The people who paid their respects at his viewing the day before were posting cheerful messages on my social media wishing me a happy birthday. I said goodbye to him.
I've repressed all of this. I feel guilty because being so upset about a birthday is silly in the big picture. I think what has been most difficult has been the passive aggressive cruelness of this all. The antidote in his obituary felt targeted; maybe I'm taking it personally when I shouldn't be.
His birthday was months later. I live almost 2 hours away. They told me about and invited me to the family get together they were having for it the day before.
I'm only just now beginning to process his death. I've lost a significant amount of weight and had to make adjustments to the medications I'm taking to manage my mental health. I've been dreaming of him. I want to hug every man that even slightly reminds me of him. He was my anchor to my family and I'm feeling really alone. I don't feel safe enough to process this with my family. And it feels too late to reach out to anyone else about it. I've never faced a loss this significant before.
I think I just needed to vent. I feel guilty for a lot of the feelings I'm having because I think they are selfish.
2024.06.09 15:43 Ok-Pineapple4499 The Boss Tournament Continues! Round 48: Alecto, Black Knife Ringleader (Ringleaderâs Evergaol) vs Glintstone Dragon Smarag (Liurnia of the Lakes)
Today I am continuing my quest to find out which boss is considered the strongest by the community itself via a tournament with all 165 bosses in the game. For this, all bosses have equal scaling, so no worrying about actual game stats. This is more a question of who would likely win lore-wise.
Last time, Alecto, Black Knife Ringleader slew the Glintstone Dragon Adula
Alecto, the Ringleader of the Black Knife Assassins who were able to kill Godwyn the Golden and live to tell the tale. Itâs likely this is the reason that Alecto is imprisoned in an Evergaol. But even after all this time, she is an exceptional fighter wielding a piece of Destined Death which she uses to great effect in combat. She is very likely the most powerful of the Black Knives and is one of the few characters who can claim to have actually killed a demigod.
Glintstone Dragon Smarag, a devourer of sorcerers which has granted them the ability to both breath a magical blue fire and cast a Glintstone Cometshard from its maw at foes. This, along with the size and strength of a dragon, makes Smarag a force to be reckoned with in combat.
Let me know who you think wins, whichever of these two bosses has the most people in their favor will move on to the next round.
May the strongest boss win!
View Poll
submitted by Ok-Pineapple4499 to Eldenring [link] [comments]
Last time, Alecto, Black Knife Ringleader slew the Glintstone Dragon Adula
Alecto, the Ringleader of the Black Knife Assassins who were able to kill Godwyn the Golden and live to tell the tale. Itâs likely this is the reason that Alecto is imprisoned in an Evergaol. But even after all this time, she is an exceptional fighter wielding a piece of Destined Death which she uses to great effect in combat. She is very likely the most powerful of the Black Knives and is one of the few characters who can claim to have actually killed a demigod.
Glintstone Dragon Smarag, a devourer of sorcerers which has granted them the ability to both breath a magical blue fire and cast a Glintstone Cometshard from its maw at foes. This, along with the size and strength of a dragon, makes Smarag a force to be reckoned with in combat.
Let me know who you think wins, whichever of these two bosses has the most people in their favor will move on to the next round.
May the strongest boss win!
View Poll
2024.06.09 15:38 Deep-Mix-2274 Rebooking Malakai Black in AEW - Part 2
- following his first ever loss to Wardlow, Malakai disappears off TV. The announcers say how nobody has seen or talked to Black, his whereabouts are completely unknown. However, after a couple of weeks, vignettes start happening; they show Black in an undisclosed location, training in martial arts, reading old textbooks, getting healed with herbal medicine, all of it happening while multiple hooded figures are present, helping him. Black's vignettes speak of concepts of a House, and how an individual is stronger with a family around him. The vignettes go on for 6 weeks.
- at Revolution 2023, The Elite lose the Trios Titles to Blackpool Combat Club in the semi-main event. As The Club is celebrating, the lights go out, and then ominous music plays. Malakai Black is back, and he has 4 mysterious masked figures with him - The House of Black has arrived!! The House goes after both Elite and BCC, proceeding to destroy everyone. Bryan Danielson, BCC's unofficial leader, runs down to help his boys, but gets his head kicked off by Black. Danielson has an Iron Man Match next, and he's laid out. Black's group poses with the gold, before unmasking to reveal who they are and what they are to The House:
"House's King" Antoine Crowler (formerly known as Brody King)
"House's Gem" Ruby Waite (formerly known as Ruby Soho)
"House's Fallen Angel" Kahun (formerly known as Bishop Kaun)
"House's Predator" Laevey (formerly known as Toa Liona)
- The House starts terrorizing the Trios division, even managing to defeat Elite in a contendership match (after Black himself interferes), to get a shot at BCC. All the while, Black makes proclamations about how BCC will fall, and how they targeted them because BCC present themselves as a real family bound by the blood of others, when in reality they're a incohesive unit bound by individual loneliness. Crowler, Kahun and Laevey actually win the Trios Titles off of BCC, with Crowler pinning Moxley, after Black interferes once again. Tired of playing games, BCC challenge House of Black to a 4 vs 4 Blood and Guts match. After a brutal contest, House manage to win due to Ruby Waite's interference.
- with The House using their numbers game to the advantage constantly, BCC realize they need someone to even the odds a little bit. Therefore, the AEW Women's Champ Jamie Hayter joins the fight in order to combat, pun intended, Ruby. The big faction warfare rematch goes down at Double Or Nothing, in Anarchy in the Arena. BCC win after ganging up on Kahun, pinning him with a Ricola Bomb/Diving Knee Strike Combination. Following the loss, Black says that this war is far from over, so now he'll personally get involved. Black's mind games continue, with him anointing Danielson as BCC's leader during promos in order to alienate him from the group. Black then challenges Danielson to a Creator's Rules match - three part match where you need to pin your opponent, make him bleed, then either tap or knock him out. In the main event of Dynamite in early July, Black gets the first two wins easily. Danielson makes a comeback, rolling up Black for the pin (becoming only the second person ever to do so), and then busting him up with elbow strikes. Finally, Black makes Danielson pass out with a Black Lotus Lock, Dragon never submitting though. Afterwards, Black grabs a steel chair, attempting to use it on Danielson, but Moxley runs him off.
- Moxley then shifts his focus to Black, challenging him to All In, in their first match ever. Moxley surprisingly wins clean, becoming the third man to defeat Black one on one. Moxley hits a Butterfly Superplex, beautifully transitioned into a pair of Death Riders for the win. The loss intensifies Black's studying, training and healing, before he challenges Moxley to a rematch at All Out. During the final moments of the match, Black hits a Black Mass, but Moxley bounces off the ropes Nigel-style... INTO ANOTHER BLACK MASS!! Black wins the second match, we're tied. Due to both men needing to hit their finisher twice, a stipulation is added to the final match at WrestleDream, where Moxley can't use Death Rider and Black can't use Black Mass. By the way, the match is also a Seattle Street Fight!! Naturally, both men steal each other's finishers in an attempt to win, mixing it with weaponry and brutality in the middle. Black finally manages to win after a Blood Moon Stomp through a thumbtack-filled table, immediately followed with a Black Lotus Lock for the submission knockout win.
- after a win over Danielson and two wins over Moxley, Black says it's finally time to complete his destiny, to do what he couldn't do last year - win the World Title. Black disappears off TV to do his hardest and most strenuous training yet, but he sends the rest of his House to keep an eye on the champion MJF. The House strikes a deal with Bullet Club Gold - House will help Jay win the World Title, and BCG will help The House win the ROH Tag Titles off of MJF. Then, Black and Jay can have a "gentlemanly" match for the World Title. The plan works partially; Gates of Agony do manage to snatch the ROH Tag Belts off MJF in the opening match of Full Gear due to Gunns interfering, but Jay loses to MJF after Adam Cole, Roderick Strong and Kingdom fend the heels off. Malakai reappears at the end of the show, applauding MJF from the stands.
- MJF vs Black is set for World's End, big title defense. Black plays his mind games with Max, saying how he used to be someone who didn't trust anyone, and now he trusts everyone who gets even a bit close. The House retain their Trios Titles over Roddy and Kingdom in the buildup, but lose an 8 Man Tag Match to Max and his friends. During the title match, Max becomes the first person in 2.5 years to kick out of Black Mass, which gets a big pop and bewilders Black. MJF makes a comeback, then asks Cole to give him the Dynamite Diamond Ring to finish Malakai off. Cole does, but since he was taking so long, Malakai regroups and clocks Max with a devastating Black Mass. One Black Lotus Lock submission later and it's over - Malakai Black is your new AEW World Champion!! Post match, the whole Devil turn happens, proving that Malakai's mind games remain undefeated again. AEW has just been ushered in to an era of evil and darkness...
2024.06.09 15:35 joecoolblows Ruthlessly Unleash The Internet Detectives
Starting to think the two younger kids, Kate, and the Middleton's have all been wiped out, the only one we heard about was that Thomas dude. This shit's wild. Only George seems to have been spared, and even he doesn't seem his usual self. The AI pictures and videos make everything so much worse.
I'm starting to think that William is some sort of family annihilator, and that's exactly what happened, late that December night.
Why is he, who has mostly looked like he was miserable the last few years, now always appearing so darn happy while everyone else is freaked out? During what SHOULD be a very, very trying time if his life, what with his wife so sick?
I'm not a macabre person by nature, I've just always been a huge fan of Diana, people used to say I looked like her when I was young. I stayed up all night in seventh grade, to watch her wedding. I grieved, SOBBED, when she died, and I've followed all the Royal Stories since then, following as her boys grew to men, picked beautiful mates, and had children of their own.
How in the world is it better PR for Average Joe Me, to be strongly suspecting that William is a family annihilator at this point, than whatever else may have happened? That's PR gone horribly, awfully wrong.
They need to get this shit right, because not everyone lives in Great Britain, under their thumb. The world of Internet Detectives is having A Moment. A HUGE part of why the story of the missing, young, Van Life Vlogger, Gabby Petito went global so fast, was because of the sheer determination and innudiation of Internet Detectives, and credit to her body being found WAS because of the Internet Detectives.
Diana actually predicted her death, she was outspoken in many interviews after she had become divorced. She had escaped, was going on to live her best life, free as the sea, in love with another rich, handsome man, who's father had quite a bit of power. Yet, when they died, even he, and his millions couldn't disprove the suspicicions behind their deaths.
Like Diana, no one was more beloved, globally, than Kate, the HUGE, VAST difference between Diana and Kate, though is technology. Just as THEY have been using AI technology to deceive us, we also have technology the wild world of Internet Sleuthing.
Internet Detectives are the wild card for William, unbound to any monetary, civic or NDA discourse, deeply hidden, and ruthlessly relentless. They have access to the Dark Web, bound through a shared passion on forums and networks. William could only wish he had such devotion human bonds, IRL.
Many of these Internet Detectives were just kids when Diana was around, who knows what they are capable of digging up, though, should they start down those old, long forgotten rabbit holes that I'm sure RF wishes would stay long forgotten.
They REALLY need to get this shit right, give their people the truth. If they don't, I pray the world of Internet Detectives sets this right, for Kate, and those kids.
submitted by joecoolblows to KateMiddletonMissing [link] [comments]
I'm starting to think that William is some sort of family annihilator, and that's exactly what happened, late that December night.
Why is he, who has mostly looked like he was miserable the last few years, now always appearing so darn happy while everyone else is freaked out? During what SHOULD be a very, very trying time if his life, what with his wife so sick?
I'm not a macabre person by nature, I've just always been a huge fan of Diana, people used to say I looked like her when I was young. I stayed up all night in seventh grade, to watch her wedding. I grieved, SOBBED, when she died, and I've followed all the Royal Stories since then, following as her boys grew to men, picked beautiful mates, and had children of their own.
How in the world is it better PR for Average Joe Me, to be strongly suspecting that William is a family annihilator at this point, than whatever else may have happened? That's PR gone horribly, awfully wrong.
They need to get this shit right, because not everyone lives in Great Britain, under their thumb. The world of Internet Detectives is having A Moment. A HUGE part of why the story of the missing, young, Van Life Vlogger, Gabby Petito went global so fast, was because of the sheer determination and innudiation of Internet Detectives, and credit to her body being found WAS because of the Internet Detectives.
Diana actually predicted her death, she was outspoken in many interviews after she had become divorced. She had escaped, was going on to live her best life, free as the sea, in love with another rich, handsome man, who's father had quite a bit of power. Yet, when they died, even he, and his millions couldn't disprove the suspicicions behind their deaths.
Like Diana, no one was more beloved, globally, than Kate, the HUGE, VAST difference between Diana and Kate, though is technology. Just as THEY have been using AI technology to deceive us, we also have technology the wild world of Internet Sleuthing.
Internet Detectives are the wild card for William, unbound to any monetary, civic or NDA discourse, deeply hidden, and ruthlessly relentless. They have access to the Dark Web, bound through a shared passion on forums and networks. William could only wish he had such devotion human bonds, IRL.
Many of these Internet Detectives were just kids when Diana was around, who knows what they are capable of digging up, though, should they start down those old, long forgotten rabbit holes that I'm sure RF wishes would stay long forgotten.
They REALLY need to get this shit right, give their people the truth. If they don't, I pray the world of Internet Detectives sets this right, for Kate, and those kids.
2024.06.09 15:33 MolassesNo762 suicide
Im certain that i want to kill myself, but im afraid of going to hell forever. I often used to pray for death so i didnt have to kill myself. I have been struggling with suicidal ideation for so many years. I dont know what to do life is just suffering and i dont have anyone genuinely everyday feels like everyone is just trying to push me to kill myself. I wish i could go deeper and explain then everyone would understand why i would kill myself i think anyone would do it if they were in my place but im sick of talking i dont know what to do Im sick of being in pain and alone all the time i cant bear this life anymore. I have no one except Allah and even then im scared that Allah hates me. I feel like a parasite in this world
submitted by MolassesNo762 to MuslimLounge [link] [comments]
2024.06.09 15:32 Ok-Ask5860 John Smith's actions at the end of the series proves that the Resistance could have won against the Axis
At the end of the series, John Smith decimated the Nazi leadership to gain power and has the US all by himself. This fact proves what Bill Whitcolft always said: if you cannot beat the enemy in a straight-up fight, you wait for an opportunity to destroy them from the inside out.
Therefore, the Resistance could have done this from the very beginning when the US is occupied: building the vast network of moles in the form of collaborators whose tasks are to gain trust and high position in both the Nazi and Imperial Japan to decimate them from the inside out. However, based on the lousy writing, this kinds of plan is far too beyond the level of thinking of the Resistance who busy chasing after the film reels full of fantasy. Moreover, Whitcolft could have been a Resistance mole and supporter who do what he said when he was forced to join the Nazis but no he did nothing until John Smith death and he did not even bother influencing his friend to fight for his country or even trying to kill John Smith himself when he has a chance to do what he needs to do.
I know that the Resistance is written to be a failure and a joke in the series but this kinds of elements just make them far too ridiculous. Bill Whitcolft is portrayed as a gutless patriot who did not do a single thing until the end of the series to help the Resistance or liberate his country in anyway. Suddenly, when John Smith died, he suddenly stood up and did what he supposed to do with no built-up at all and his faction within the American Reich just popped up from nowhere like the BCR.
What do you guys think?
By the way, stay tune for When World Collides Fanfict by AmericanPride2874
submitted by Ok-Ask5860 to maninthehighcastle [link] [comments]
Therefore, the Resistance could have done this from the very beginning when the US is occupied: building the vast network of moles in the form of collaborators whose tasks are to gain trust and high position in both the Nazi and Imperial Japan to decimate them from the inside out. However, based on the lousy writing, this kinds of plan is far too beyond the level of thinking of the Resistance who busy chasing after the film reels full of fantasy. Moreover, Whitcolft could have been a Resistance mole and supporter who do what he said when he was forced to join the Nazis but no he did nothing until John Smith death and he did not even bother influencing his friend to fight for his country or even trying to kill John Smith himself when he has a chance to do what he needs to do.
I know that the Resistance is written to be a failure and a joke in the series but this kinds of elements just make them far too ridiculous. Bill Whitcolft is portrayed as a gutless patriot who did not do a single thing until the end of the series to help the Resistance or liberate his country in anyway. Suddenly, when John Smith died, he suddenly stood up and did what he supposed to do with no built-up at all and his faction within the American Reich just popped up from nowhere like the BCR.
What do you guys think?
By the way, stay tune for When World Collides Fanfict by AmericanPride2874
2024.06.09 15:31 Rusted-1 ARK 8 Chapter 23-Unlucky
 | To kill for yourself is murder. To kill for your government is heroic. To kill for entertainment is harmless. What is it to kill for religion? - Unknown submitted by Rusted-1 to NatureofPredators [link] [comments] This fanfic is based on the fanfic The Isolationists, by Seeyouon_otherside, and a continuation of the stronger_together series. Constructive criticism is appreciated. Time Since First Contact: Y:0 M:1 W:0 D:3 Memory Transcript Subject: Private Brolien âLuckyâ Tiwond of the enforcers. âWait, the humans call you that? Why?â My buddy Rohan asked me as we patrolled the streets of the capital city of Finalshape under the night sky. You could actually see one of the aliens' ships flying overhead, which was fantastic. I felt like a kid watching them, just in awe at the technological marvels. Our power armor was clanking and clunking as we went about our day, heavy auto rifles in hand, a good breakfast this morning, kissed the kids and misses goodbye for today, promising little ones Iâll bring them back a souvenir of some kind. We walked through the snow that had to yet be cleared by the snow plows, and I just enjoyed the forever-green grass and trees. Just admiring the city that we lived in âYeah, I was on the plane next to the human ARK ship when I went down.â âWait, that was you?!â Rohan practically yelled, getting the attention of many people around us. âHow come youâre still not in the Air Force anymore?â âThat crash rattled me pretty bad, So I stepped down for that position and took up a job as a trooper,â I respond casually. âIt was fun for a while being in the Air Force, but now, with seven kids and a wife, I canât take that risk anymore. Iâd rather do something more laid-back to have a higher chance of survival. So I can spend more time with my beloved and see my little ones grow up.â I said. Then I revealed my trap card. âI also got a spot on the Land Tank. âYeah, I get that-YOU WHAT!?â He yelled. I let out a hearty laugh as he began to freak out. âYep! I will be one of the lead anti-air and anti-space gunnery commanders. The pay is fantastic. Iâm going to spoil my family rotten.â He made an odd noise and launched himself at me. âHOLLY SHIT DUDE! YOUâVE ALWAYS WANTED A JOB ON THAT HUNK OF HISTORY! IâM SO PROUD OF YOU!â He patted me on the back a few times and then let go. âBut I get what you mean by anti-air, but what do you mean by anti-space?â I sighed and looked around before switching to helmet-to-helmet communication so no one could hear us. "You're aware that Lord Lieutenant Commander Canilia Feral doesn't fully trust the aliens, right?â Rohan nodded. I couldnât see his expression under the heavy metal helmet, but we had known each other since we were kids, so I could tell he was somber. âYeah, I'm not the biggest fan of that. But that doesn't mean I don't understand it. The aliens are fun, lovely, adorable, and huggable. I can say a hundred other nice things about them, but I won't because I don't want to bore you to death. They are still a massive unknown; they've been sharing more and more information with us, and I know the one, Captain Leo, is preparing to hold some⌠not ceremony, what do you call itâŚI want to say it's a seminar about how they got here and their history. I'm going to it, but I don't know when it will be.â I nodded in agreement. â I am with you on every single one of those points. As amazing as they are, there are so many unknowns about them⌠which is why Lord Lieutenant Commander Canilia Feral has started a program meant to counteract the aliens' most powerful tools: their droids and ships.â Rohan looked at me. I could tell from underneath his helmet he looked surprised. âWait, weapons?â It was my turn to be somber. âShe says it's to prepare for if they turn on us. She made it very apparent that she hoped she would never have to use these weapons, but she wanted to be prepared.â âDoes Commander Fango Feral know about this?â I scoffed at that thought. âWell, yeah, this project would have never gotten the green light anyway. Plus, we're talking about Lord Lieutenant Commander Canilia Feral here. Going behind her uncle's back is the last thing she would do." Rohan nodded. "What do you know about the project?" He asked "What little I know about the project is that I will be operating an ASRFC, an anti-space rapid-fire cannon. Itâs designed to do what it sounds like: it shoots or, rather, assists in launching incredibly fast-moving projectiles, similar to missiles but different somehow. They should be coated in the specialized electricity designed to short out alien systems. She's also been developing handheld weapons to short out their droids.â Rohan was silent. Then spoke. âGeez. That's⌠a lot. I'm just hoping the aliens don't find out.â My shoulder sagged as I hated the thought of operating a weapon like that against two species that have been nothing but kind to us. âSame, we all share the same sentiment at the Land Tank. We are on our hands and knees, praying to the great protector that we never have to use these guns. Lord Lieutenant Commander Canilia Feral is probably the person who is hoping the most. However, I get the odd feeling that they would understand why we would make these weapons. I think they'd be mad, but they wouldn't be upset. They'd be understanding.â I looked over at my childhood best friend. âHonestly, considering your Borderline addiction to anything alien right now, I'm surprised you're taking this as well as you are.â He shook his head. âI'm not really⌠it's hard making guns and weapons to kill a person who has been nothing but kind to you simply because you don't fully trust them. But I understand and support the logic behind it. However, it is comforting to know that everyone working on this project hopes and prays that they don't have to use them. Not much, but a bit.â Rohan sighed, and we walked in silence for a while. He perked up, his posture became slightly straighter, and he pointed to my chest. âWhat is that anyway on your chest? Iâve never seen a dialect or a plant like that,â he asked. I looked down and laughed. âYeah, thatâs human dialect. I want to say itâs the one called English, but it could also be the one called Japanese or Russian. I really have no idea. It says, âLucky, the falling star.â The symbol is of what they called a four-leaf clover, a type of plant back on the human homeworld that was considered lucky, surrounded by a star, and there are trails to the side of it, or to make it look like itâs falling.â Rohan stopped for a minute, got the joke, and nearly busted a gut laughing. When he finally calmed down, he looked at me. âHow the hell did Humans and Zeyzell convince you to get that painted on your armor!?â he asked through laughs. âWell, I was at a drink stop, a bar as most of you normals call it, forget which one, when out of the blue, a bunch of humans popped up, and they recognized me as a pilot. I donât know how, but they did.â I answered, âAsk me all sorts of questions like how I survived. How was I doing? Generally, they were good questions and warmed my heart that they were worried about me. It was nice, anywho, they were going on about this plant on the human home world called the four-leaf clover, and this represents luck or something. They asked if they could paint my armor with it. I had just gotten my shiny new power armor, so I was like, sure, go ahead and paint it. Then, they whipped out a bunch of little pups, or kids and kits, as the humans call them. As in little humans who are ADORIBLE, and they started painting my armor as I started talking to the adults. Two hours later, bam, you got this masterpiece painted all over my armor. I swear they took the little ones out of their pockets if I didnât know better. After all that, I wanted it back to camp, and the paint had dried. I tried getting off, even though it was a nice gesture. I was kind of sad about it, but I donât know what the void they used is. This stuff is not coming off. I scrubbed for a good hour, and it didnât come off. So when I had to fall in with everyone at Camp and with everyone with their new hand-me-down E-10 power armor. I stood out like a sore thumb.â âAnd you had petty officer Gotrom, didnât you?â Rohana teasingly said. I shook my head in pain, causing him to laugh. âIâll take that as a yes.â âYep, I had him, the man of the petty ones. The moment he laid eyes on me. His eyes did the whole bleeding thing. I hate it when he does that and starts screaming at me. I mean, this dude is slightly above me in rank, but he takes his job too seriously. So, after five minutes of chewing me out, I thought he would pass out with the amount of hot air he was spewing. He asked me what my excuse was.â âWhat do you say to him?â Rohan asks. I laughed. âIt was like the great protector had whispered exactly what I should say into my ear. âInteracting with the new locals, sir. Just letting them know that we are their friends, not their wardens.â And you wonât freaking believe this, he took it.â âHe what?! he took it as a valid answer?!â Rohan asked. âI myself was still surprised that he took that as a valid answer, but yes, he did. Then he immediately brought me to the front of all three hundred troops and started to yell at them, tearing them a new one by telling them how I was the only one here who had made any attempt to meet with the alien. Even though we all know thatâs not true, they found me. He patted me on the back, congratulated me, and sent me off to get some extra food.â âBy the old void, that guy gets stranger and stranger every time.â I shrugged. âI honestly have no clue, and I think he was telling everyone to step up the game in greeting the aliens, but other than that, I have no idea. The Humans are super nice, and I often find them chatting with someone or petting someone. Void, Iâve even seen an entire group of humans swarm a giant and start petting it. It was cute to watch. The Zeyzell seem far more reserved than the humans, but you can have interesting conversations with them.â We continued to patrol the streets in silence for a while after that, making a bit of small talk to break it, but nothing much, just observing people going about their business. Thatâs when we saw an out-of-breath Tiwond with a human gently helping him drink a bottle of water. A Zeyzell clung to the human's back, laughing his lungs out. âEverything all right over here?â I asked. âYeah,â the person said as he got up, swishing his tail as he did, âtried to beat my buddy here in a race after hearing about humans' high stamina. I lost by a large margin while he carried his fluffy ass on his back. The man said as he pointed to the Human and the Zeyzell. The Zeyzell just laughed while still clinging to the human's back. âDonât say I didnât warn you!â The Zeyzell said as the three laughed. âAll right, you three, stay safe. Bye now.â The group of three said their goodbyes, and I looked at the human. He just seemed so happy. It was such a pure and authentic expression that it warmed my hearts. âItâs so nice that we met the humans; everyone just seems happier.â Rohan nodded. âYeah, itâs like the mood has shifted, from the low to the high, it's nice. With the war, the terror that came after it, and the animals evolving and changing. Things were looking bleak. Thatâs not even mentioning all the giant refugees we've been getting, and wellâŚhim and them.â I looked at Rohan. âWho and what?â Rohan looked at me, confused. âYou know? Viggo Scythelock?â I nodded. The mention of his name made me slightly mad. âOh, himâŚyou think they will catch the guy?â I asked. âHonestly, I hope so. He has caused so much pain to so many. The man is a psychopath, a monster. He used the war as an opportunity to harm so many.â Rohan looked down. âBut honestly, itâs been over three years. Iâm not sure if they will ever find him.â âYeahâŚI hope they find him and take him out. Also, who are "Them" you are talking about?â Rohan looked at me, surprised. âYou haven't heard?â he asked. He switched to helmet-to-helmet communications instead of talking out loud. This must be bad.â âIâm almost afraid to askâŚbut no, I have not heard about them,â I responded also with helmet-to-helmet communication. âWho are you talking about?â âThe Cult of the Old God? You haven't heard what they have been up to?â âYou mean them assassinating high-ranking individuals, stealing supplies, their entire operation multiplying tenfold ever since the alien's arrival?â I could tell he was surprised, and I could also understand that he was blinking and surprised underneath the helmet. That's how well we know each other. âHow did you know?â âIt's common knowledge, and the higher-ups sent this documentation earlier this morning. Did you not read it? They're very transparent, and you know that I don't get all your conspiracies at everything, which is a conspiracy.â âOh, come on! The Aliens! Their rival was too perfect; just when we were getting worried that we were the only living creatures in the universe, pop! They show up. That can't be a coincidence!â I rolled my eyes underneath my helmet. âYou need help.â âNot with my mental state, but definitely with my taxes.â I shake my head We continued on our way. When we crossed one of the streets and took a left toward one of the shopping districts, we saw two dudes sitting in the snow, huddled around something. We approached to make sure everything was alright. âEverything alright?â I asked. The guys looked up at me and made the shhh motion with their fingers. Then they parted their bodies a little, and I saw a female human sleeping between them. âWe donât want to wake her up,â the first said. I nodded my head and continued on. Both of us then turned a corner into a more populated part of the district. We saw a human and what looked like a construction worker chatting there. âThank you so much for taking us in. I think I can speak for my entire species when I say you have made us so happy.â The construction worker raised an eyebrow and took another bite of the sandwich she was eating. âAnyone wouldâve done it; it's just the right thing to do if they had a soul, at least.â The human started to laugh a bit, and then it quickly stopped as a human just shook her head. âGuess the federation has no soul then, huh?â The construction worker took another bite out of her sandwich. âDoesnât sound like it.â The human leaned into the construction worker. âEay, donât worry. If those Federation things ever come here, theyâll get a big face full of Big Jim.â She then pulled out a massive [monkey wrench.] I smiled at that, knowing that so many were willing to protect the humans. I believe that made them feel more at home. We wandered past them on our patrol and continued deeper into the district. âHey, you know what Iâve noticed?â Rohan said. âHm?â I asked in return. âI havenât seen all that many little humans, you know, their pups, kids, children, whatever they call them.â I was about to argue that I had seen quite a few children, but when I really thought about it. The only significant group of human children I had seen was when a bunch of them confronted me and painted the four-leaf clover and star onto my chest plate. Other than that, Iâve only seen a few. âNow that you mention it, youâre right. Iâve hardly seen any. Why do you think that is?â Rohan thought for a minute. Then, he snapped his secondary jaw in realization or remembered something. âI remember a bit of talk about a lot of young ones being on a second ARK ship. I donât know much about it. All I know is that most of their young population, as in newborns to tweens, was supposedly on an ARK ship called ARK Twelve. Other than that, I donât know much.â âWhere did you hear that from?â I asked. âOne of my buddies works in intelligence gathering. We like humans, but the intelligence bureau doesnât fully trust them like Lord Lieutenant Commander Canilia Feral doesn't. I canât blame them. Again, Humans are still a big unknown, even though they are one of the cutest things I have ever seen.â âAgreed.â âHe was pretty drunk when I asked him, but it was his reaction when he said out loud that really disturbed me. Normally heâs a pretty big drinker because you see some bad shit in intelligence gathering. I mean, there are some terrible people out there. But the second he mentioned ARK twelve, he got really really sad. And he didnât even finish his drink, which was a first. He mumbled something about going home to spend time with the human he was taking care of. I donât know what it was about the response, but I got a sense of pure dread from it.â I nodded my head, and we continued. I felt like asking the next human I saw about ARK twelve, but I sensed it would be a bad idea. We saw a commotion in front of what looked like a jewelry store. Wandering over, there was a female tiwond Who seemed distressed. As we approached, she continuously asked strangers if they had seen someone. A lot of other people are starting to be concerned, too, for some reason. We approach to attempt to calm the situation. âEnforcers, whatâs going on here?â Rohan asked. The woman turned around rather quickly. She was short and had that typical camo pattern fur that the people of the woodland area have, so she was most likely not a local. Then again, you can never be too confident in the city. âI lost them! I can't find them! I donât know where they are!â She almost yelled in what looked like fear and worry. âWhoa, calm down, maâam. Whatâs the problem?â I gently told her to try to get him to calm down. âTake four large breaths and clear all four of your lungs. Trust me, it helps.â She took some deep breaths, seemingly calmed down just a little, and then spoke again. âI am in charge of two humans under my care for the exchange program. I had brought her and her kid here to the shopping district to see if they wanted anything before moving back to the Woodland cities. However, they vanished. I donât know where they went. I am terrified of all the unknowns around here that might hurt them.â âThank you. Do you know where you last saw them?â I asked. I made a hand motion to Rohan to signal in an incident report and some backup. Rohan stepped away from the conversation and radioed a command using his helmet. âThis is Rohan. I'm reporting a case of a missing person. Yeah, two humans went missing. Iâm currently with Brolien, and weâre patrolling the shopping district⌠Green Wyvern. Can you send a few more patrols down here to help? We canât have two aliens going missing in the city. That's bad, AR. Also, and yes, I want to see them safe. I am not an AR asshole.â "This is HQ, sending down an additional squad. Keep us updated." "Yes sir." Rhoan responded âDo you know which store you were in when you saw them last?â I asked. âThe jewelry store, the one just over there. About [10 minutes] ago. Their names are Jasper and Melinda.â She pointed to one of the higher-end jewelry stores, and I motioned to Rohan to follow me. I noticed a few Street cops coming over to see what the situation was about. âWhatâs going on here?â one of the cops asked. I recognize this one, a retired Detective, I think. âMissing persons, two humans last seen over there. Weâre going to investigate now,â I quickly informed him. âKeep an eye on her, will you?â He nodded and walked over to the lady, with two others in tow. Rohan and I walked over to the building to inspect the area around it. âIf a human is missing here⌠Iâm worried about who mightâve taken them. I know itâs pretty rare for kidnappings, but still.â Rohan said as he opened a dumpster and took a peek inside. âI mean, the humans are so frail. A good-sized hail storm will kill them.â Rohan said. âYeah, apparently it can. Iâve heard rumors that back on their home planet, itâs possible to die from things like that.â I responded. âUnbelievable,â Rohan replied in disbelief, shaking his head. We started to search the area, calling out their names. We wandered past an allyââOh, protector, what is this?â I looked over to see Rohan had stepped in Something. I walked over and looked at it. âIs that blood?â I asked him. âNo way too light to be blood. Look at how red it is. Itâs not even a black color like ours. I bet you another copper wire melted. I can tell by the scent.â he replied as he shook the stuff off his boot. I took a closer look, put my hand in it, and brought it up to my face. It looked like blood. It flowed like blood. I used the scanning equipment in my helmet and⌠âŚOh shit. âRohan, this is human blood,â I said. I got up and turned the safety off my gun. Rohan follows suit, and we both enter the alleyway, guns drawn. There was a little more blood on the walls and a bit on the ground. âThis is enforcer Rohan calling enforcer HQ, and we have possible contact with an unknown that has seemingly taken two humans, one child, and one mother. Send backup, sending location.â Rohan called in as we quietly walked along the side of the alleyway. We are doing our best to make no noise. Iâm so happy that we are wearing the newer power armor. They are so silent. âRoger that Rohan, this is enforcer HQ. Reinforcements are inbound in two minutes.â The coms operator said [Chanting] âDo you hear that? Sounds like chanting?â Rohan whispered. I strained my ears to listen and turned up the sensitivity on my power armor audio receptors. Chanting, I wonder⌠âDo you think it could beâŚ?â I trailed off, and he immediately knew what I was talking about. âCult of the old God? This far north? Hm⌠shoot to kill.â Rohan sternly replied. âThis is Enforcer Rohan, possible contact with the Cult of the old god. I am requesting time for the arrival of reinforcements.â âReinforcements inbound in one minute.â We both quickened the pace and turned the corner-âFUCK!â I yelled out loud. There were Six cultists in total. Two cultus whipped around to face me. One drew a pistol, and another a plasma pistol. âCONTACT CONTACT! LIGHT THEM UP!â Rohan yelled, and we both started blasting into them. We popped bullet bullets into each of their heads and two hearts, taking them down instantly. âCultus! Here! This far north! What the fuck?!â Rohan yelled. The three others drew their guns and aimed and opened fire at us as we took cover behind some old barrels. We were bullet and plasma-proof in our power armor, but I would rather not risk it. Rohan tossed a flash bang, and It blew up a second later. I heard screams a second later, and we got up and opened fire, our visors blocking out the flash. We both nailed the same bastard as his buddies dove behind cover. They would fire at us every few seconds, keeping our heads down. I looked at Rohan and made the hand single to get the shield. He reached behind himself and took out the heavy-duty shield. I had the battering ram, so I was not that useful. He got up first as I threw another flash, confusing and disorienting the cultists as it went off. We both advanced as Rohan swapped out his heavy rifle for an SMG; I took out the full-auto shotgun as we got closer. Rohan shield-bashed the first one and then blasted him with the SMG. I took out the second one with my shotgun. A bullet deflected off of the shield, and a small spread of bullets that Rohan could deflect with his shield came at us. Then they stopped, and we rushed to cover, Rohan still holding the shield. I peeked out from behind the cover. âWere did..â I started when I heard a yell from behind us. Whipping around, the cultist had appeared and was now wrestling with me for my shotgun. In a split second, I shoved the shotgun into him as he pulled, disorienting him and knocking the wind out of him. I then grabbed the battering ram, which had already been turned on and was at full power, and bashed it into his chest. He immediately exploded from the pressure, and I was coated in his blood. Looking around, all the cultists were down just as reinforcements flooded the area. Looking at the cultus robes, I noticed the same color of blood on them that I had looked at earlier. âShit, I think these guys got the humans!â I told Rohan. The human female was lying on what looked like a makeshift altar made of scrap metal, an old luxurious chair, and wood. Her entire chest and lower body had been torn open. Most of her major organs were removed, and her heart was speared with multiple little needles and placed on top of the altar. âThis is bad. This is bad. If there is this far north, they have gotten bold.â Rohan spoke as he walked over to the human female and inspected her. âShe died only a minute ago. It looks like she was in pain the entire time, too. Damn. FUCKING FANTIC SHITS!â âRadio this in,â I ordered Rohan, and he immediately did that. I walked over to the human adult female's corpse and looked at it as a medic was handling her. Why didnât she scream? Oh, thatâs why. They sewed her mouth shut. Damn. I look at the cultists again and look at their golden medallions decorated with a skull. âWait, Rohan. Werenât there two?â We looked at each other and immediately split up in different directions to find the kid. It didn't take long for me to see him. âAwâŚkid.â I gently bent down to inspect the little body. His lower jaw was gone entirely. His left arm seems to have been sawed off and taken. His eyes were closed, and he wasnât moving. I looked up and noticed footprints taking off into the distance. A seventh cultist, it looks like we missed one. I cradled his head in my hand and took a pulse. Nothing⌠âShit.â âOh, void.â âOh, my young oneâŚI am sorry.â the other enforcers said as we gathered around the child's corpse. One of the enforcers punched a wall out of anger as another just sat on an old couch, shaking her head. âLooks like there was a seventh we missed. If I get my hands on that-.â Another one started. *GACK!* âOH SHIT! ROHAN HE'S STILL ALIVE!â I screamed. Rohan immediately ran over and looked. As did the medic. âBy the protector he is!â The medic yelled as she began to administer human-friendly meds. âThere is an ambulance outside. MOVE!â She yelled. I picked up the kid and held him in my arms, carrying him as the medic did her work. âYouâll be OK, youâll be OK,â I told him to comfort him, although I felt it was more for my own sake. âJASPER!â I looked behind me to see the female running to me and followed beside me. "MISS IS MUST INSIST YOU MOVE-" The medic begins to yell. "I'M HIS CARE TAKER!" she yelled back. "Shhhh, Iâm here now.â Jasper reached up with a blood-soaked hand and began to grab at her fur like he was trying to hold onto life. She held him to her and then took something out of her bag. âI can use this to get the blood out of his lungs!â âDo it!â the medic told her. She stuck the tube into the kid's chest, and blood came out, and he immediately began to breathe easier. He then latched himself to her chest and passed out. âDonât worry. I promised your mom I would take care of you if anything happened to her. I will take care of you.â She quietly told the sleeping child as she rocked back and forth, crying, holding the child as the ambulance came around the corner with more enforcers. They loaded both of them into the ambulance and took them away. I walked out and sat down on a bench in front of the alleyway. I just needed time to think. I sat there as the world around me continued. Just lost in thought. What if we got there sooner..? I was broken out of the trance by Rohan. âYou alright?â I looked down. âNo, we were supposed to protect themâŚâ âYeah,â Rohan said. We just sat there. It was helping a little to have my buddy there. ButâŚstill A human wasâŚdead. âAnd yetâŚwe saved a human child.â He told me. I nodded, looking up at the Alien space station that was now in orbit around our planet. âYeahâŚwe did.â We remained silent before he put an arm around me and hugged me. "I hope he survives." "Me too, me too." First/Previous/Next |
2024.06.09 15:30 AntsPhilippines Today's the day I'll go.
Read if you really want to, this last post is a handful.
Not only from this subreddit, the world as well. Before I go, there's one more thing I should tell you when this happens. My life goal is to present a franchise with one source site, Google Slides. Which could've been successful, but with what annoyance of some people in my home (My brother for instance, also alongside aunt for deducting time at least 2-3 hours.) this was not possible.Don't fret about this, I already notified Jaiden about a presentation with 4 characters I myself willingly donated to her (It's when she finds out about what's yet to come). For my own plans.....they're discarded.
(Currently also sent this to Bryson if that didnât get the message.)
And about the thing I actually wanted to mention, near death experiences are last breath moments of the human brain, dreaming in the last moment. We don't even know how some gained contact with the all seeing being of omnipresence, that's what happened to a few clients to this very decade.
Emotions are just concepts people got used to themselves, I personally never had any emotions since the entirety of 18 years in expression. Not that it's negative or positive, just Neutral. Over the past 7 days, I withdraw most of my stuff and day to day activities for this final occasion.
Moreover, emotions are varied from various moments that alone would seem appropriate for the human brain. If we chose to not have feelings, normality would be at a standpoint for a moment. Concurrently, this information would become irrelevant after seeing how it would affect the next person, just like me.
Neutrality.
I won't drink water or any fluids from now on. It was nice knowing you everyone. Aparatheosis told me now to go "Home", meaning The Eternal Void, which is a white void. After I die, I would see just as it is, me lying down with a neutral expression. No movement, served purpose, my thoughts only.
My Final Destination.
2024.06.09 15:28 Resudith 6+ years in therapy, nothing to show for it
Iâve been dealing with mental health issues for 6+ years. Meaning Iâve been on and off of therapists. I used to have major depression and wouldnât take care of myself or leave bed or even eat. I had anemia at this time and was struggling health wise due to my depression. I was living with my parents and was a teenager but I didnât get a therapist till I told them I was having suicidal thoughts. I had asked them for one prior to the situation getting so dire but my parents donât get me medical care unless I was close to death due to how expensive and cumbersome it is. I had no friends, just recently switched schools due to my perceived failure. This isolation was the crux of my issue. I spent so much time alone that I felt like life was meaningless. It was too much pain to have to live through every day. Fast forward to now, I can take care of myself and I am not depressed I donât think. However I still feel really awful some days. I feel very existential about life and believe I donât have what it takes to simply survive. Paying bills, feeding myself, developing relationships. It all feels like too much some days. Iâm in a relationship and I found out I have a lot of triggers due to my past. Hardcore irrational jealousy that manifested into me controlling my partner at times. I downward compare myself to my partner and feel like shit due to their success and I become bitter. I feel like they could leave at any minute and find someone better looking and more successful than me, leaving me all alone again. This is deteriorating our relationship and I love this person. Since I love them it makes me hate myself when I would argue and curse about coworkers at their job Iâm threatened by. I struggle with productivity, I just lay in bed all day. I start my job in 2 months so Iâve wanted to work on my personal projects but wow I feel so useless. Especially when I see my partner doing so much more than me every day. I donât feel suicidal anymore because I know the impact itâll have on others around me but I also donât feel like I live for myself. Family and my partner is all I have rn and I should be grateful for it. I am very grateful I have that, I guess Iâm just not happy with myself. Iâve been in therapy consistently for almost a year. It doesnât feel like my self image is changing. I have body images, self hate, I cringe at the thought of telling myself good job or Iâm proud of you. Iâm just struggling and feel like itâll never end.
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2024.06.09 15:20 Live-Needleworker-60 The Deer and the Dragon by Piper CJ rant review
I'm gonna be real: I hated this. There were interesting concepts, and had they been utilized differently and written by literally anyone else, it could've been an actual good book.
writing. The writing in The Deer and the Dragon is miles better than in The Night and its Moon. It's still not good, but it's better if that tells you anything. The first-person POV mixed with modern-day speak works so much better for Piper's capabilities. It was much easier to get through, but it was still a huge slog for me. Honestly, what are the editors at Bloom even doing? There were still way too many typos and sentences with missing words. Piper still misuses the word dredges after using it in THREE(+?) BOOKS. HOW DO YOU STILL NOT KNOW THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN DREDGES AND DREGS? Dregs are the sediment of a liquid, so what's at the bottom of your coffee cup. Dredge is when they scoop up mud from the bottom of a river. TWO VERY DIFFERENT THINGS. The word broach is also misused in this book TWELVE times, and it's PART OF THE CENTRAL PLOT OF THE BOOK. You mean to use BROOCH, PIPER. They're pronounced the same, but they mean two different things. Again, what the hell are the editors at Bloom doing?
characters Really, the only character I can talk about is Marlow because this book is just about Marlow and how amazing, special, perfect, and genius Marlow is. I fucking hate Marlow. If I ever met Marlow in real life, I would beat her up. Marlow is the most unlikable person ever. The story opens up with her on a date with a guy she's not interested in and can't remember his name; when she gets it wrong, and he corrects her, she continues to call him the wrong name all the way to the end of the book. She mentally berates him for mixing wasabi and soy sauce and cannot let it go. Sheâs also an AWFUL friend. It seems like her friend's only real purpose is to support her and tell her how amazing she is. She never bothers to make plans with them or inform them about anything thatâs happening in her life. When she goes missing for a good chunk of the book, and they're blowing up her phone worried about her, she doesn't even bother to call them to calm them down. She doesn't think about them at all. She's far more concerned with herself and finding her imaginary boyfriend, who she only just decided was real. Her editor tells her she's at risk of losing her job if Marlow doesn't deliver her work or update her on what's happening, and Marlow just...doesn't care. She's like, 'No excuse I can give will be enough, so I'm just not going to say anything at all because I'm afraid of confrontation'. Grow the fuck up?? Her friend Nia only became her friend because she obsessively messaged her on social media until Marlow 'gave in', and now they're family? Somehow? Yet Marlow doesn't think about Nia once or bothers to comfort her when Nia has to call Marlow's abusive mom to ensure Marlow isn't dead. Kirby has allegedly been Marlow's friend since childhood, but does Kirby know anything about Caliban at all? Does Nia? Does Marlow tell her friends anything? If they know about the abuse her mom put her through, do they know how that abuse started? When Fauna shows up and freaks out over liking Kirbyâs name so much, Marlow takes it upon herself to tell Fauna the story of Kirbyâs name, scornfully informing Fauna that Kirby isnât their real name the second Fauna expresses interest in it. (Like what, are you jealous that Fauna likes Kirbyâs name, you fucking insecure freak??) The story revolves solely around something traumatic that happened to Marlow and how she and Kirby sat and played Super Smash Bros. Kirby liked their character so much that they adopted the name. WhichâŚokay, choosing the name because you liked a video game character, okay, fine. But the whole story preceding this was so unnecessary and just made Marlow come off as suuuuch a whiny baby. âOh, you want to know about my friendâs name? Well, first, let me preface it with this long woe-is-me story all about ME before I tell you how they chose their name because basically everything revolves around me.â
The way Marlow talks about rejection is so juvenile. You're in your thirties girls, get over it. Life is full of rejections. Someone telling you they didn't to play with you when you were eight years old isn't something you should form your whole life around. Like Marlow doesn't want kids because she doesn't want them to face rejection. Oh my god, Marlow. I also can't empathize with her trauma with her mom at all because I feel like I didn't really see much of it. I'm sure some of the things she says might hit with other people, but I wanted an actual flashback of a super intense fight or conversation instead of an overview of what happened.
plot. It took a while to get to the actual plot. About 100 pages in before things start really happening. I wouldâve liked a little more exposition on Marlowâs relationship with Caliban at the beginning of the book. I get that some of the reveals needed to come more towards the end, but I kind of wish that maybe the fox had spoken to Marlow, too, which wouldâve helped with why sheâs so sure sheâs insane. Foxes donât talk! In all honesty, I wish this story had been restructured entirely. I think it would've been substantially better if we'd started out in Marlow's childhood. We can see how her day to day life was before Caliban ever appeared, how things were with her mom, who can also see through the veil. Maybe she notices some strange things about her mom that she just brushes off, which she later sees in herself and understands why her mom responded that way. Then something actually traumatic happens instead of some little kids not letting Marlow play with them, instigating her starting to see Caliban. I also would've liked to see flashbacks to Marlow's previous lives. While she's busy trying to convince herself Caliban isn't real, those flashbacks would add to her thinking she's losing her grip on reality. Maybe she'll be doing something innocent, like washing the dishes, and then suddenly, she sees herself standing in the middle of a raging battle, wearing long, elaborate robes. Do you see what I'm saying? This could've been cool! Instead, I had to read about Marlow jerking off about herself for 600 pages.
At some point, Caliban shows up to Marlow looking like a human. She's a teenager at this point, but they eventually start sleeping together, and like...idk something about that feels icky to me. It feels like grooming. Because he's clearly thousands of years old, he probably stays the same age while she's a teenager. What age did he wait for her to turn before their relationship turned sexual? Also, she doesn't even think he's real, and he does nothing to convince her that he is. Yeah....just no thanks. I'm good. Marlow tells Caliban when she's 21, she doesnât want to see him anymore, so she literally physically cannot see him, but she can hear and feel him, and he still shows up, and like they keep having sex. So sheâs just having sex with her imaginary demon friend for like five years before sheâs finally like, all right, this is weird; maybe we should stop. And then she immediately regrets that when he stops showing up and then the rest of the book finally happens.
We also get flashbacks to when Marlow first starts escorting, and tbh, I hated this depiction of sex work. I keep hoping since Piper claims to be an advocate for sex work and is a former SWer that, we might get some actual depth to this plot. Maybe learn how Marlow was able to mold herself into the person she needed to be for each client, how sheâs able to play people, etc. But no. She meets some random girl in a foreign country where sheâs teaching English to children, and the girl is like, OMG, youâre too pretty to BE A TEACHER. COME HANG OUT ON MY YACHT. Now, Iâm going to be so real. I feel like any woman with a speck of intelligence in their brain would have red flags going off right about now. If a random woman I met in a foreign country invited me to her yacht five minutes after meeting me, Iâd immediately assume this woman was about to try and murder me or kidnap me or traffick me or something. But not Marlow. She is like fuck it, why not. She flies on over to wherever this yacht is(literally, she has to get on a plane and fly there) and makes some new besties who introduce her to the wonderfully glamorous non-dangerous life of escorting, where they hand her clients and set up the appointments for her and blah blah blah(also, wanna point out that Marlow even tries to say that she built this sex work empire herself. bitch no you didn't. it was all handed to you). I donât feel like I really need to go further about why this is a really poor, dangerous rose-colored glasses-type depiction of sex work. Itâs just not the reality.
Flash forward five years later, and Marlow is now a top-selling author writing about South African folklore as a white woman, trying to date other men, still having sex with her imaginary friend, calling her nonbinary friend a horse girl, the usual. Her escort pals are nowhere to be seen, and we have no clue what happened to them. We never hear from them again; they just vanish once Marlow gets what she wants from them, just like Nia and Kirby vanish once Marlow finds Fauna and Azrames. One day, Marlowâs at a book signing and sees the ONE bad client she had(because in all the years/months fucking strange men you meet in a foreign country, only one time does it go bad. okay, sure) He somehow finds where she lives, breaks into her home, and tries to murder her. An angel shows up and murders him instead, and then Caliban finally reveals his face and explains to Marlow that he has marked everyone whoâs ever wronged her. (Wronged her in what way, tho. Like if someone accidentally shoulder-checked her on the street, are they now marked for death?) I thought it was kind of weird that sheâs not likeâŚfocused on the fact that her hallucinations have extended to two people and another person dying. Sheâs still convinced Caliban is a figment of her imagination even after she sees this happen, and Caliban explains to her that he couldnât save her because thereâs some type of contract with her that forbids him from doing anything under her roof without her permission. But she still gets mad and banishes him, and now he canât come back, and now sheâs like, but wait, no, I didnât mean it. Thus begins the search for Caliban.
Now, I could sit here and outline the rest of the book, but I won't because it's so boring, and nothing of substance really happens. So, to summarize. Marlow searches for Caliban fruitlessly for months and finally makes some progress when she decides to go to the house of the guy who tried to kill her and finds a parasitic entity that she continuously calls a Cheshire Cat. then Silas, the angel, shows up to save her again. Silas maybe wants to fuck Marlow, I can't tell. He waffles between abandoning Marlow to die and stalking her and her mom to force Marlow to bond with him for no seeming reason at all. Everyone and their mom wants Marlow to join their religion, and I don't know what the fuck makes her so special. Marlow is such a popular author that everyone recognizes her name, reveres her, fawns over her, and has multiple copies of her two books in their offices. She's so good that she inspired millions to switch religions. This book was so exhausting to read because it was just about how amazing Marlow is LMFAO. I'm pretty sure they even try to say she's the reincarnation of Helen of Troy, the most beautiful woman in the world. Like....wow.
Marlow goes to Hell with Fauna to escape bonding with Silas, where they meet a literal stolen character design. this guy
(my original review has these images but I am an idiot and don't know how to post them so instead I'll share the links)
https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/hostedimages/1717860981i/35597445._SY540_.jpg
Don't believe me? here's the commissioned character art.
https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/hostedimages/1717860929i/35597423._SY540_.jpg
Anyway, his name is Azrames and he and Fauna are long time lovers and they go and bone while Marlow is in the next room and Marlow fucking masturbates to the sounds of them boning. So...I was forced to read about that, and I hated it. And then, at the end of the book, five chapters before it's over, we learn the bad guy who's been holding Caliban captive the entire time is a fertility goddess. Just out of nowhere. No mention of it previously. So, no one tells Marlow the actual plan, and instead, they send her into this fertility clinic the goddess is working out of and have her pretend to want to get pregnant. So the goddess drugs her without her consent and puts her in a room full of half-naked men, hot stereotypes from every ethnicity, while she's SUPER horny. One of the doctors tells her that 'mixed babies are all the rage right now'. The men all tell her how hot and amazing she is and how lucky they are for the chance to get to fuck her. Then after she chooses one of them, she grinds all over him while he just stands there, then they take him out and bring Caliban in and decide he'll fuck her instead. I just wanna point out that this, all of this, would be rape. Marlow didn't consent to being drugged, and if she didn't know who Caliban was, they basically just took the guy she "agreed" to have sex with away and brought in one she didn't agree to for no reason whatsoever. It doesn't matter that she's saying yes to it; she is drugged. She can't consent. Anyway, Caliban sticks his dick in Marlow and just leaves it there, unmoving, and then makes out with the fertility goddess before stabbing her in the heart and cutting off her head, even though five chapters earlier, they said it's super hard to kill a god. I'm just...wow.
Marlow gets taken back to Fauna's apartment by Silas while Caliban and Azrames are stuck fighting more Cheshire Cat demon children that I imagine look like the spider baby from Toy Story. Marlow is still high, so she's putting the moves on Fauna. She's kissing her throat, rubbing her thigh, trying to suck on her fingers. Let me tell you rn, if one of my friends showed up at my place high af doing this shit to me, I'd be livid. Because I guarantee you, Marlow will not apologize for doing any of this to Fauna.
Fauna tells Marlow that they can be sunflowers. The book ends.
I will read the next one because I like to suffer, but...I hated this. I give it 2 stars because the writing is better than TNAIM, but it was not a hit for me at all.
submitted by Live-Needleworker-60 to books [link] [comments]
writing. The writing in The Deer and the Dragon is miles better than in The Night and its Moon. It's still not good, but it's better if that tells you anything. The first-person POV mixed with modern-day speak works so much better for Piper's capabilities. It was much easier to get through, but it was still a huge slog for me. Honestly, what are the editors at Bloom even doing? There were still way too many typos and sentences with missing words. Piper still misuses the word dredges after using it in THREE(+?) BOOKS. HOW DO YOU STILL NOT KNOW THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN DREDGES AND DREGS? Dregs are the sediment of a liquid, so what's at the bottom of your coffee cup. Dredge is when they scoop up mud from the bottom of a river. TWO VERY DIFFERENT THINGS. The word broach is also misused in this book TWELVE times, and it's PART OF THE CENTRAL PLOT OF THE BOOK. You mean to use BROOCH, PIPER. They're pronounced the same, but they mean two different things. Again, what the hell are the editors at Bloom doing?
characters Really, the only character I can talk about is Marlow because this book is just about Marlow and how amazing, special, perfect, and genius Marlow is. I fucking hate Marlow. If I ever met Marlow in real life, I would beat her up. Marlow is the most unlikable person ever. The story opens up with her on a date with a guy she's not interested in and can't remember his name; when she gets it wrong, and he corrects her, she continues to call him the wrong name all the way to the end of the book. She mentally berates him for mixing wasabi and soy sauce and cannot let it go. Sheâs also an AWFUL friend. It seems like her friend's only real purpose is to support her and tell her how amazing she is. She never bothers to make plans with them or inform them about anything thatâs happening in her life. When she goes missing for a good chunk of the book, and they're blowing up her phone worried about her, she doesn't even bother to call them to calm them down. She doesn't think about them at all. She's far more concerned with herself and finding her imaginary boyfriend, who she only just decided was real. Her editor tells her she's at risk of losing her job if Marlow doesn't deliver her work or update her on what's happening, and Marlow just...doesn't care. She's like, 'No excuse I can give will be enough, so I'm just not going to say anything at all because I'm afraid of confrontation'. Grow the fuck up?? Her friend Nia only became her friend because she obsessively messaged her on social media until Marlow 'gave in', and now they're family? Somehow? Yet Marlow doesn't think about Nia once or bothers to comfort her when Nia has to call Marlow's abusive mom to ensure Marlow isn't dead. Kirby has allegedly been Marlow's friend since childhood, but does Kirby know anything about Caliban at all? Does Nia? Does Marlow tell her friends anything? If they know about the abuse her mom put her through, do they know how that abuse started? When Fauna shows up and freaks out over liking Kirbyâs name so much, Marlow takes it upon herself to tell Fauna the story of Kirbyâs name, scornfully informing Fauna that Kirby isnât their real name the second Fauna expresses interest in it. (Like what, are you jealous that Fauna likes Kirbyâs name, you fucking insecure freak??) The story revolves solely around something traumatic that happened to Marlow and how she and Kirby sat and played Super Smash Bros. Kirby liked their character so much that they adopted the name. WhichâŚokay, choosing the name because you liked a video game character, okay, fine. But the whole story preceding this was so unnecessary and just made Marlow come off as suuuuch a whiny baby. âOh, you want to know about my friendâs name? Well, first, let me preface it with this long woe-is-me story all about ME before I tell you how they chose their name because basically everything revolves around me.â
The way Marlow talks about rejection is so juvenile. You're in your thirties girls, get over it. Life is full of rejections. Someone telling you they didn't to play with you when you were eight years old isn't something you should form your whole life around. Like Marlow doesn't want kids because she doesn't want them to face rejection. Oh my god, Marlow. I also can't empathize with her trauma with her mom at all because I feel like I didn't really see much of it. I'm sure some of the things she says might hit with other people, but I wanted an actual flashback of a super intense fight or conversation instead of an overview of what happened.
plot. It took a while to get to the actual plot. About 100 pages in before things start really happening. I wouldâve liked a little more exposition on Marlowâs relationship with Caliban at the beginning of the book. I get that some of the reveals needed to come more towards the end, but I kind of wish that maybe the fox had spoken to Marlow, too, which wouldâve helped with why sheâs so sure sheâs insane. Foxes donât talk! In all honesty, I wish this story had been restructured entirely. I think it would've been substantially better if we'd started out in Marlow's childhood. We can see how her day to day life was before Caliban ever appeared, how things were with her mom, who can also see through the veil. Maybe she notices some strange things about her mom that she just brushes off, which she later sees in herself and understands why her mom responded that way. Then something actually traumatic happens instead of some little kids not letting Marlow play with them, instigating her starting to see Caliban. I also would've liked to see flashbacks to Marlow's previous lives. While she's busy trying to convince herself Caliban isn't real, those flashbacks would add to her thinking she's losing her grip on reality. Maybe she'll be doing something innocent, like washing the dishes, and then suddenly, she sees herself standing in the middle of a raging battle, wearing long, elaborate robes. Do you see what I'm saying? This could've been cool! Instead, I had to read about Marlow jerking off about herself for 600 pages.
At some point, Caliban shows up to Marlow looking like a human. She's a teenager at this point, but they eventually start sleeping together, and like...idk something about that feels icky to me. It feels like grooming. Because he's clearly thousands of years old, he probably stays the same age while she's a teenager. What age did he wait for her to turn before their relationship turned sexual? Also, she doesn't even think he's real, and he does nothing to convince her that he is. Yeah....just no thanks. I'm good. Marlow tells Caliban when she's 21, she doesnât want to see him anymore, so she literally physically cannot see him, but she can hear and feel him, and he still shows up, and like they keep having sex. So sheâs just having sex with her imaginary demon friend for like five years before sheâs finally like, all right, this is weird; maybe we should stop. And then she immediately regrets that when he stops showing up and then the rest of the book finally happens.
We also get flashbacks to when Marlow first starts escorting, and tbh, I hated this depiction of sex work. I keep hoping since Piper claims to be an advocate for sex work and is a former SWer that, we might get some actual depth to this plot. Maybe learn how Marlow was able to mold herself into the person she needed to be for each client, how sheâs able to play people, etc. But no. She meets some random girl in a foreign country where sheâs teaching English to children, and the girl is like, OMG, youâre too pretty to BE A TEACHER. COME HANG OUT ON MY YACHT. Now, Iâm going to be so real. I feel like any woman with a speck of intelligence in their brain would have red flags going off right about now. If a random woman I met in a foreign country invited me to her yacht five minutes after meeting me, Iâd immediately assume this woman was about to try and murder me or kidnap me or traffick me or something. But not Marlow. She is like fuck it, why not. She flies on over to wherever this yacht is(literally, she has to get on a plane and fly there) and makes some new besties who introduce her to the wonderfully glamorous non-dangerous life of escorting, where they hand her clients and set up the appointments for her and blah blah blah(also, wanna point out that Marlow even tries to say that she built this sex work empire herself. bitch no you didn't. it was all handed to you). I donât feel like I really need to go further about why this is a really poor, dangerous rose-colored glasses-type depiction of sex work. Itâs just not the reality.
Flash forward five years later, and Marlow is now a top-selling author writing about South African folklore as a white woman, trying to date other men, still having sex with her imaginary friend, calling her nonbinary friend a horse girl, the usual. Her escort pals are nowhere to be seen, and we have no clue what happened to them. We never hear from them again; they just vanish once Marlow gets what she wants from them, just like Nia and Kirby vanish once Marlow finds Fauna and Azrames. One day, Marlowâs at a book signing and sees the ONE bad client she had(because in all the years/months fucking strange men you meet in a foreign country, only one time does it go bad. okay, sure) He somehow finds where she lives, breaks into her home, and tries to murder her. An angel shows up and murders him instead, and then Caliban finally reveals his face and explains to Marlow that he has marked everyone whoâs ever wronged her. (Wronged her in what way, tho. Like if someone accidentally shoulder-checked her on the street, are they now marked for death?) I thought it was kind of weird that sheâs not likeâŚfocused on the fact that her hallucinations have extended to two people and another person dying. Sheâs still convinced Caliban is a figment of her imagination even after she sees this happen, and Caliban explains to her that he couldnât save her because thereâs some type of contract with her that forbids him from doing anything under her roof without her permission. But she still gets mad and banishes him, and now he canât come back, and now sheâs like, but wait, no, I didnât mean it. Thus begins the search for Caliban.
Now, I could sit here and outline the rest of the book, but I won't because it's so boring, and nothing of substance really happens. So, to summarize. Marlow searches for Caliban fruitlessly for months and finally makes some progress when she decides to go to the house of the guy who tried to kill her and finds a parasitic entity that she continuously calls a Cheshire Cat. then Silas, the angel, shows up to save her again. Silas maybe wants to fuck Marlow, I can't tell. He waffles between abandoning Marlow to die and stalking her and her mom to force Marlow to bond with him for no seeming reason at all. Everyone and their mom wants Marlow to join their religion, and I don't know what the fuck makes her so special. Marlow is such a popular author that everyone recognizes her name, reveres her, fawns over her, and has multiple copies of her two books in their offices. She's so good that she inspired millions to switch religions. This book was so exhausting to read because it was just about how amazing Marlow is LMFAO. I'm pretty sure they even try to say she's the reincarnation of Helen of Troy, the most beautiful woman in the world. Like....wow.
Marlow goes to Hell with Fauna to escape bonding with Silas, where they meet a literal stolen character design. this guy
(my original review has these images but I am an idiot and don't know how to post them so instead I'll share the links)
https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/hostedimages/1717860981i/35597445._SY540_.jpg
Don't believe me? here's the commissioned character art.
https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/hostedimages/1717860929i/35597423._SY540_.jpg
Anyway, his name is Azrames and he and Fauna are long time lovers and they go and bone while Marlow is in the next room and Marlow fucking masturbates to the sounds of them boning. So...I was forced to read about that, and I hated it. And then, at the end of the book, five chapters before it's over, we learn the bad guy who's been holding Caliban captive the entire time is a fertility goddess. Just out of nowhere. No mention of it previously. So, no one tells Marlow the actual plan, and instead, they send her into this fertility clinic the goddess is working out of and have her pretend to want to get pregnant. So the goddess drugs her without her consent and puts her in a room full of half-naked men, hot stereotypes from every ethnicity, while she's SUPER horny. One of the doctors tells her that 'mixed babies are all the rage right now'. The men all tell her how hot and amazing she is and how lucky they are for the chance to get to fuck her. Then after she chooses one of them, she grinds all over him while he just stands there, then they take him out and bring Caliban in and decide he'll fuck her instead. I just wanna point out that this, all of this, would be rape. Marlow didn't consent to being drugged, and if she didn't know who Caliban was, they basically just took the guy she "agreed" to have sex with away and brought in one she didn't agree to for no reason whatsoever. It doesn't matter that she's saying yes to it; she is drugged. She can't consent. Anyway, Caliban sticks his dick in Marlow and just leaves it there, unmoving, and then makes out with the fertility goddess before stabbing her in the heart and cutting off her head, even though five chapters earlier, they said it's super hard to kill a god. I'm just...wow.
Marlow gets taken back to Fauna's apartment by Silas while Caliban and Azrames are stuck fighting more Cheshire Cat demon children that I imagine look like the spider baby from Toy Story. Marlow is still high, so she's putting the moves on Fauna. She's kissing her throat, rubbing her thigh, trying to suck on her fingers. Let me tell you rn, if one of my friends showed up at my place high af doing this shit to me, I'd be livid. Because I guarantee you, Marlow will not apologize for doing any of this to Fauna.
Fauna tells Marlow that they can be sunflowers. The book ends.
I will read the next one because I like to suffer, but...I hated this. I give it 2 stars because the writing is better than TNAIM, but it was not a hit for me at all.
2024.06.09 15:18 Sukuna_GOAT Sukuna wouldâve been a better teacher for Megumi
 | Megumi has ingrained into himself that he might as well just summon Mahoraga and loose it all when things get tough. So, it is clear to Megumi he doesnât mind dying whenever things get tough. submitted by Sukuna_GOAT to Jujutsufolk [link] [comments] Sukunaâs teaching style is forcing the person into a life or death situation to improve - would you look at that, a perfect match for Megumi to improve exponentially. Sukuna would bring out all of Potential manâs potential, to the point where Megumi would even be able to tame Mahoraga (potentially by use of weapons, buffing his other shikigami or something else) - this would make Megumi the strongest 10S user in history (apart from Sukuna). Also, Sukuna has always seen the potential of 10S so he also mightâve trained Megumi to fight him since he is interested by him. |
2024.06.09 15:17 Jynx_lucky_j Heart: the City Beneath vs. Trophy Gold
From a basic description these two games seems very similar. A group of desperate adventures delve in to an incredibly strange and dangerous location, which gets weirder and more dangerous the deeper you go, and will almost certainly lead to their doom, in search of something they want/need so badly they are willing to risk almost certain death in pursuit of.
I haven't read or played either of these games, so I am curious about the ways they differ. I'm interested in running a shortish (6-12 sessions) campaign for my group with the premise, but I'd like help deciding which of these games would be a the right fit. How do they play, what is their tone, what are their strengths and weaknesses, how do they keep the player engaged after their character is gone, and so on.
Feel free to sell me on which ever is your preferred game, or even offer an alternative if you have something you like better with a similar premise. Thank you for you insights.
submitted by Jynx_lucky_j to rpg [link] [comments]
I haven't read or played either of these games, so I am curious about the ways they differ. I'm interested in running a shortish (6-12 sessions) campaign for my group with the premise, but I'd like help deciding which of these games would be a the right fit. How do they play, what is their tone, what are their strengths and weaknesses, how do they keep the player engaged after their character is gone, and so on.
Feel free to sell me on which ever is your preferred game, or even offer an alternative if you have something you like better with a similar premise. Thank you for you insights.
2024.06.09 15:14 Timely-Newspaper3950 Mystery comic with missing college student and (ex) boyfriend tried to kill her (repost from 5 months ago)
Came across the following post elsewhere. Trying to find out what it might be? I have no idea how old the poster is unfortunately.
submitted by Timely-Newspaper3950 to whatsthatbook [link] [comments]
I remember when I was a teen there was some sort of comic, not one of the mainstream ones... the actual story was a mystery, but the author spent some times discussing light building stuff like the difference between spackle and toothpaste to fill up a hole in a wall... and it had nothing to do with the missing college student anyway, except the toothpaste-filled holes were in the room she'd occupied.
(The mystery of her disappearance was the age-old story of boyfriend gets dumped, he's possessive abusive scum, main characters arrive just in time before he can kill her at the end of a long rant, he gets a Disney death over a cliff into raging water during a storm... and somehow everything's okay even thought the college student must be horrifically traumatized.)
2024.06.09 15:14 HidingInThePublic Needed help from the police but they wonât do anything.
I needed help from the cops, but they wonât do anything.
Iâve been reporting this guy for several months.
I donât understand.
The police said :
My police station is corrupt. His as well.
The only thing I care about is the photos at this point. Not even the belongings considering I donât feel safe seeing this guy.
I will also state heâs mentally unwell.
And although heâs done awful things to me.
For clarification. We did NOT date. He told everyone and anyone we were together. I told him no, even told his friends but no one listened.
This has taken a physical and mental toll on me. I lost 14lbs within 5 days, and attempted suicide a couple weeks ago.
submitted by HidingInThePublic to LifeAdvice [link] [comments]
Iâve been reporting this guy for several months.
I donât understand.
The police said :
- It isnât theft unless he breaks into my house and takes my stuff via that way
- Taking photos of someone without their consent and knowledge is legal
- I mustâve provoked him to physically assault me
- I must of wore something or suggested something for the sexual assault
- Blackmailing is legal
My police station is corrupt. His as well.
The only thing I care about is the photos at this point. Not even the belongings considering I donât feel safe seeing this guy.
I will also state heâs mentally unwell.
And although heâs done awful things to me.
- Everything Iâve said above
- Him making a burner number to contact me
- Him changing his phone number to contact me since I blocked it
- Him asking his friends to harass me
- His friends sending me death threats and threatening to show up
- Them only referring to me by race
For clarification. We did NOT date. He told everyone and anyone we were together. I told him no, even told his friends but no one listened.
This has taken a physical and mental toll on me. I lost 14lbs within 5 days, and attempted suicide a couple weeks ago.
2024.06.09 15:12 Yurii_S_Kh The Untold Story of the Head of St. John the Baptist
 | https://preview.redd.it/ug8cv1d5pj5d1.png?width=327&format=png&auto=webp&s=d7474c5779c4af5eb89bcb0a56d892d7aee93367 submitted by Yurii_S_Kh to SophiaWisdomOfGod [link] [comments] Holy Scripture tells us that after St. John the Baptist was beheaded, the impious Herodias forbade the prophetâs head to be buried together with his body. Instead, she desecrated the honorable head and buried it near her palace. The saintâs disciples had secretly taken their teacherâs body and buried it. The wife of King Herodâs steward knew where Herodias had buried St. Johnâs head, and she decided to rebury it on the Mount of Olives, on one of Herodâs estates.[1] When word reached the royal palace about Jesusâ preaching and miracles, Herod went with his wife Herodias to see if John the Baptistâs head was still in the place they had left it. When they did not find it there, they began to think that Jesus Christ was John the Baptist resurrected. The Gospels witness to this error of theirs (cf. Mt. 14:2). Jerusalem. The First Uncovering of the Head of St. John the Baptist. May years later, during the reign of Equal-to-the-Apostles Emperor Constantine, his mother, St. Helen, began restoring the holy places of Jerusalem. Many pilgrims streamed into Jerusalem, amongst whom where two monks from the East, wishing to venerate the Lordâs Honorable Cross and Holy Sepulcher. St. John the Baptist entrusted these two pilgrims to discover his head. We only know that he appeared to them in a dream; and that after finding the head in the place he showed them, they decided to return to their native city. However, Godâs will determined otherwise. Along the road, they met a poor potter from the Syrian town of Emesa (modern-day Homs), whose poverty had forced him to seek work in a neighboring country. Having found a co-traveler, the monks either out of laziness or carelessness entrusted him with carrying the sack containing the relic. As he was carrying it, St. John the Baptist appeared to him and told him to forget the careless monks and run away from them, taking the sack they had given him. For the sake of the precious head of St. John the Baptist, the Lord blessed the potterâs house with an abundance of goods. The potter lived his whole life remembering his Benefactor, giving alms generously. Not long before his death he gave the precious head to his sister, commanding her to pass it on to other God-fearing, virtuous Christians. The saintâs head was passed along from one person to the next, and came into the hands of one Hieromonk Eustacius, who sided with the Arian heresy. Sick people who came to him received healing, not knowing that it was due not to Eustaciusâs false piety, but to the grace coming from the hidden head. Soon Eustaciusâs ruse was exposed, and he was banished from Emesa. A monastery grew around the cave where the hieromonk had lived and in which the head of St. John the Baptist was buried. Emesa and Constantinople. The Second and Third Finding of the Precious Head. After many years, the head of St. John the Baptist was uncovered a second time. We know about this from a description by Archimandrite Marcellus of the monastery in Emesa, as well as from the life of St. Matrona (â 492, commemorated November 9/22), written by St. Simeon Metraphrastes. According to the first description, the head was discovered on February 18, 452. A week later, Bishop Uranius of Emesa established its veneration, and on February 26 of the same year, it was translated to the newly-built church dedicated to St. John. These events are celebrated on February 24/March 8, along with the commemoration of the First Finding of the Precious Head. After some time, the head of St. John the Forerunner was translated to Constantinople, where it was located up to the time of the iconoclasts. Pious Christians who left Constantinople secretly took the head of St. John the Baptist with them, and then hid it in Comana (near Sukhumi, Abkhazia), the city where St. John Chrysostom died in exile (407). After the Seventh Ecumenical Council (787), which reestablished the veneration of icons, the head of St. John the Baptist was returned to the Byzantine capital in around the year 850. The Church commemorates this event on May 25/June 7 as the Third Finding of the Precious Head of St. John the Baptist. The Fourth Crusade and travel to the West. Ordinarily, the Orthodox history of the finding of the head of St. John the Baptist ends with the Third Finding. This is due to the fact that its later history is bound up with the Catholic West. If we look at the Lives of the Saints written in the Menaon of St. Dimitry of Rostov, we find a citation in small print, often overlooked by readers, at the end of story of the Finding of the Forerunnerâs Head. However, after unexpectedly discovering the head of St. John the Baptist in France and then returning home to Russia, this citation became a real revelation for us. It is this next âfindingâ of the head of St. John the Baptist that we would like to write about below. Thus, we read in this citation that after 850, part of the head of St. John the Baptist came to be located in the Podromos Monastery in Petra, and the other part in the Forerunner Monastery of the Studion. The upper part of the head was seen there by the pilgrim Antony in 1200. Nevertheless, in 1204 it was taken by crusaders to Amiens in northern France. Besides that, the citation shows three other locations of pieces of the head: the Athonite monastery Dionysiou, the Ugro-Wallachian monastery of Kalua, and the Church of Pope Sylvester in Rome, where a piece was taken from Amiens. The face of St. John the Baptist, in the Cathedral of Our Lady in Amiens. The history of the Baptistâs headâs appearance in France differs little from the history of many other great Christian relics. On April 13, 1204, during the Fourth Crusade, an army of knights from Western Europe seized the capital of the Roman EmpireâConstantinople. The city was looted and decimated. As Western tradition has it, Canon Wallon de Sarton from Picquigny found a case in one of the ruined palaces that contained a silver plate. On it, under a glass covering, were the hidden remains of a human face, missing only the lower jaw. Over the left brow could be seen a small perforation, most likely made by a knife strike. On the plate the canon discovered an inscription in Greek confirming that it contained the relics of St. John the Forerunner. Furthermore, the perforation over the brow corresponded with the event recorded by St. Jerome. According to his testimony, Heriodias in a fit of rage struck a blow with a knife to the saintâs severed head. The Cathedral of Our Lady in Amiens (Notre Dame dâAmiens). Wallon de Sarton decided to take the head of the Holy Forerunner to Picardy, in northern France. On December 17, 1206, on the third Sunday of the Nativity fast, the Catholic bishop of the town of Amiens, Richard de Gerberoy, solemnly met the relics of St. John the Baptist at the town gates. Probably the bishop was sure of the relicâs authenticityâsomething easier to ascertain in those days, as they say, âby fresh tracksâ. The veneration of the head of St. John the Baptist in Amiens and all of Picardy begins from that time. In 1220, the bishop of Amiens placed the cornerstone in the foundation of a new cathedral, which after many reconstructions would later become the most magnificent Gothic edifice in Europe. The facial section of the head of the St. John the Baptist, the cityâs major holy shrine, was transferred to this new cathedral. Eventually, Amiens became a place of pilgrimage not only for simple Christians, but also for French kings, princes and princesses. The first King to come and venerate the head in 1264 was Louis IX, called âthe Holyâ. After him came his son, Phillip III the Brave, then Charles VI, and Charles VII, who donated large sums for the relicâs adornment. The Church of the Forerunner in Rome (Basilica di San Giovanni in Laterano). In 1604, Pope Clement VIII of Rome, wishing to enrich the Church of the Forerunner in Rome (Basilica di San Giovanni in Laterano), requested a piece of St. Johnâs relics from the canon of Amiens. Saving of the head from the outrages of the French revolution. After the revolution in 1789, inventory was made of all Church property and relics were confiscated. The reliquary containing the head of the Holy Forerunner remained in the cathedral until November, 1793, when it was demanded by representatives of the Convention. They stripped from it everything of material value, and ordered that the relics be taken to the cemetery. However, the revolutionary command was not fulfilled. After they left the city, the cityâs mayor, Louis-Alexandre Lescouve, secretly and under fear of death returned to the reliquary and took the relics to his own home. Thus was the sacred shrine preserved. Several years later, the former mayor gave the relic to Abbot Lejeune. Once the revolutionary persecutions had ended, the head of St. John the Baptist was returned to the cathedral in Amiens in 1816, where it remains to this day. At the end of the nineteenth century, historical science, not without the participation of ecclesiastical figures, determined that there had been many instances of false relics during the Middle Ages. In an atmosphere of general mistrust, veneration of the Amiens shrine eventually began to wane. The head of St. John the Baptist today. In the mid-twentieth century, specifically in 1958, there was a spark of renewed interest in the relics of St. John the Baptist. The rector of the Amiens cathedral reported to the ecclesiastical authorities that in eastern France, in Verdun, was what was presumed to be the lower jaw of St. John the Baptist. He wanted to rejoin the two parts. With the blessing of the bishop of Amiens, a commission of qualified medical experts was formed. The relics were investigated for several months, in two stagesâthe first in Amiens, the second in Paris. After the work was completed, the commissionâs findings were gathered into a document, signed by the members. In the first chapter of the document, which covers the research performed in Amiens, the following conclusions were made:
Joyfully, during recent years more and more Orthodox pilgrims are travelling to Amiens. Now, with the help of the Pilgrimage Center of the diocese of Korsun (of the Moscow Patriarchate, based in Paris) Orthodox molebens and even Divine Liturgies are now being served before the head of St. John the Baptist. Priest Maxim Massalitin [1] The Ascension Convent (Russian Orthodox Church Abroad) is now located on this site, and a church dedicated to the Forerunner stands over it. --Ed. [2] St. John the Baptist is called âthe first among martyrs in graceâ in the final prayer of the canon of supplication to him. |