Will try to make this short with TLDR. At a bit of a crossroads.
TLDR: Is it financially stupid to go back to previous employer if they've approached me (albeit on a better wage than previous) for increased work life balance with new negotating power. Both employers very stable secure jobs.

• Current: 180K, WFH 2 days, 80 hou10 day fortnight - Benefit of exposure to newer Cloud systems etc... stronger wage growth potential in future (200K next year or so). Negative: stressful, responsible for other peoples work, days in office are lonely/provide no benefit, taking some days off for mental health...

versus...

• Option: 160K~ with previous employer, WFH unlimited (but happy to go in 1-2 days to see friends face to face), 60 hou8 day fortnight, 5 weeks leave, LSL resumes - straight back into solid leadership team of good friends, direct connection to senior leaders, technical work and can be creative. Use extra weekday for hobbies, life, side business. Negative: back to same systems and red tape, slow wage growth, 'going back to employer is a terrible move'

Detail...
Background: 15+ years with a longterm stable employer. Worked up into leadership role but hands on technical delivery. Strong network, good work friends. Finally left as wanted to see 'other' workplaces, got a bit bored and push income higher. Left on approx $120K in the last year. Previous employer colleagues/leaders have kept in touch checking in since I left.
Current: Landed job in company about one year in now, WFH 2 days, 180K salary (200K next couple of years). Work is stressful (across many projects, under resourced teams, putting out fires from mismanaged development etc), but I'm delivering really well - learned a lot, but mentally struggling, have had to take a couple of days off as I just couldn't log on. Have met with leadership as my line manager said I'll burn out with how much has been put on me (out of their control) - leadership convo had no concrete answers, just broad 'this is the direciton we are going' around high level roadmaps - but nothing about my actual day to day work. Fair bit of staff turnover in my role - many deactivated person accounts I've come across. Do I push through the pain for the hope of a different role (big organisation)?
Option: Previous employers CEO has been asking why certain technical work isn't being completed anymore, answer was it was me. Been approached to come back - I've had the power to negotiate, was an enjoyble conversation. Salary ~160K (hard cap unfortunately), four day work week, five weeks annual leave, WFH. LSL will resume. No staff. Pick my projects. Hands on technical which I enjoy. Superannuation comparable in both orgs but obviously less with the lower wage. Keen to use the four day work week to look at setting up my own side business (expanding on some ad-hoc freelancing I do for free with friends and family members). However the net loss in income.. and how that compounds over years as well as is it a terrible idea to 'go back' (even though they approached me). Do I get the life balance/sanity back and focus on family/hobbies/my own business? Wife is supportive as she's seen the toll on my mental health but I'm the finance guy in our family and the $'s always keep coming to mind.
Expenses: Probably at our peak spending years, aged approx 40. Teenagers/pre teens in private school (total $25k year). Mortgage ~470K (PPOR val ~900K). No other debts. Super 450k+90k. Wife working part time (50-60k year).

If someone could please help me.
I brought a new PC and have been transferring data from old PC via USB drive because it was faster than WiFi, and I could take my time and organise it as I went.
On my new PC I tried to eject the drive this morning and it said it was in use. I found no folders open or applications that should have been using it, I tried windows unlocker but that didn't help so I shut down the PC disconnected it.
Loaded up on files and tried to eject it on my old PC and found the same issue, I couldn't be arsed so I just pulled the cable, brought it over to my new PC and found I had lost all permissions.
When I checked the security for the drive, I found all of the permissions unticked. I could not tick them again getting:
G:\(APPLICATION) Failed to enumerate objects in the container. Access is denied.
(APPLICATION) being the name of the first folder of the directory.
Took it back to old PC and had the same issue.
Any suggestions?

So, I've kind of posted about this in other threads, specifically on askreddit, but by some users request, I will do my best to fully relay this entire tale up to the current point, as well as provide as much context I am able (and will provide missing context if asked in comments).
Part 1: CONTEXT
Me and my wife have been together since early 2014, and married in late 2017. We have been through much together, including two extended deployments, one of which was 10 and a half months long. We have traveled the world together, lived on both coasts of the US, and despite much of our struggles and how things eventually went down, I was always convinced we would work as a team to overcome any issues.
The friend in question was, largely, an online friend. We met playing an MMO during covid and we quickly formed a very tight knit, but small, community that were very close that included me, my wife, my friend, his wife, and 4 other friends. Covid was a wild time and I was surprised how easy it was to form friends in this group and we kept in touch, as a whole, even once quarantine had ended and most of us had moved on from that particular game. This was a group that, while it started online, we have met most of these people several times IRL and had vacations to spend time together and just hang out.
Part 2: His Problems
Fast forward to about January of 2024. My buddy, from here on out I will refer to as Z (and for a quick add, I will refer to my wife as D), contacts us to tell us his condition is dire and he has been diagnosed with stage 4 cirrhosis of the liver as a consequence of his extensive drinking. Shaken, we quickly charter a flight out to visit. Within a week, we're staying with him and his wife and his roommate and a couple members of his family who are taking care of him. This man is bloated, yellow, and probably about 350lbs now. We are worried, but stay supportive and positive that help can be found, especially since he seems keen on changing his lifestyle for the better. Some of his family start a gofundme that we donate to, and many of the people in our gaming circle who have grown close also donate several thousand dollars (One member of our raid team donated 10k. You never know who is stealth rich on the internet I guess). Me and several other friends discuss the possibilities of helping him get on disability and even getting ourselves tested as compatible living donors. Sad, but hopeful, we depart about a week later, and stay in constant touch.
About a month later, I'm getting a call from one of our mutuals letting me know that "Hey, so I may have goofed up." and tells me how Z's wife had visited him and had a 3 way with him and his wife. I am obviously irate at this and turn to back Z up with comments like "So much for in sickness and in health, huh?" I do what I can to stay supportive, and my wife, D, also makes it a point to stay in touch with him as he has found himself banished to the couch of his apartment. Not even allowed to sleep in his own bed and frequently uncomfortable even being in his bedroom to use the PC.
I'm not particularly rich, but I am not poor either. I served in the military and have a high VA rating which means a constant income and have a steady job and a couple side gigs that pay well enough. My love language, in many ways, is gift giving. I pride myself on being able to pick a good gift, even if it's a little early for an occasion such as a bday or christmas, and will often pull the trigger on something if it means a lot or I think it will help. In this case, my brother was selling an old steam deck because he wanted a new OLED model, so I figured "two birds, one stone", and buy the steam deck off him and send it to Z so we can still game together.
In the intervening months, Z and D start playing games that I have no interest in (Disney Dreamlight Valley), but I am happy to play other games and hang out and chat. Really, nothing seems amiss, but since his banishment, me and my wife are both pushing for him to come and take up the spare bedroom we have in our home. Soon enough, I buy him a plane ticket and he arrives with little more than the clothes on his back and we take him in, no cost other than the expectation that he might help around the house a bit (he was a chef, so having a cook and someone to help clean was ideal for me who often did not have the time or energy to handle these tasks as thoroughly as I would like).
Part 3: The Incident
Now, I am skipping ahead a little bit here, but there's not much to be said about the time between. My wife worked part time hours, and when she did go to work, she'd have him tag along just so he wouldn't "Sit and stew with bad thoughts" at the house alone. I will admit that throughout this entire ordeal, I have had several, several times where my brain tried to warn me, but I ignored ALL of those signs because I trusted him, but more importantly, I trusted her with my life.
One new, frequent argument I found myself having with her was she would fall asleep on the couch, and when I finally tried to go to bed, I'd do my best to wake her and drag her upstairs. These became extremely frequent occurrences and I expressed to her how frustrated I was that I had to fight with her just to come to bed so we could sleep (mind you, this is not even about sex. Often I'm taking her to bed at like, 1am and I work at 7, so I really just wanted her to be sleeping in the bed). Hell, one time, I started catching the vibes that the longer I sat and waited for her to be ready to go upstairs, she just never would be, because they were waiting for me to leave so they could talk in hushed tones. On THAT particular night, I went upstairs alone with her finally awake, and she did not join me for another half hour.
Finally, the day arrives. Its Sunday. We are all downstairs hanging out. One of their newest habits I can't really stand but just dealt with is that she'd sit and crochet while he doomscrolled or strummed on a guitar I bought him and listen to music videos on youtube endlessly. Eventually, I grow weary and give my wife a kiss and tell her I'm gonna go upstairs and play some GW2 for a bit.
About an hour passes, and she enters the game room and tells me "I am uncomfortable. I really need to talk to you. Oh, you're dying!" (As she entered the room, I immediately turn face to talk to her and disregard the game, but she decided that my Charr was more important that what was about to happen, so she of course warns me.) We step into the bedroom and close the door.
"You're going to hate me," she says through tears, "me and Z kissed!" At this point, my brain short circuits and I recall one of my first thoughts being "Oh lord, here we go." and just a general desire to not be a part of this conversation. Shock sets in almost immediately. Still with a healthy dose of denial, I talk to her about what had happened and told her that it needed to end. Even at this point, I did not want to send this man home. Was it shock? Denial? Probably a mixture of the two, or some other additional emotional responses. She gets up after some discussion and goes downstairs, promising to shut him down, but comes back about 15 minutes later sobbing "I couldn't do it! I couldn't end it..." (Side note: In my confused haze of a mind, I feel personally threatened, and after she leaves the bedroom, I lock the door and grab a metal water cub I keep at my side and prepare to actually fight if it comes to it, but once she returns, I back off that idea again.)
Talking with her more, I present her with two options; Couple's therapy, or divorce. BOTH of these options are world ending to her, and she even goes so far as to suggest that just because I said the "D word" that it was what I wanted, which was objectively untrue. We talk back and forth about things I don't quite recall at this point, aside from one point where she comes back and locks herself in the master bath and tells me to call 911, she doesn't care, because she's going to take a bunch of pills, but after a couple of hours, Z shows up to the door and knocks and asks if he can come in. I tell him he may enter, and we talk for a bit. After about 5ish minutes, we decide to go downstairs to the living room and continue the discussion.
Once I sit down on the sofa, I immediately feel like I'm being positioned as the bad guy. I'm in the corner of our sectional, and she's on my left, he's on my right. She tells him "He said it's either a divorce or couple's therapy." "Oh, so he gave you an ultimatum?" I continue to argue that yes, those are the two only options. Z tells me "You're not being fair to her emotions. She is telling you there is another option." I am thoroughly baffled at this statement.
D: I didn't think it was possible and I didn't mean for it to happen, but I have fallen in love with another man. My heart has room for two. I truly have two soulmates. I have never been happier than sleeping on the couch next to my two boys.
Z: There is no reason you guys can't stay married, and we can explore what we've found. I mean, look at how happy she has been since I have been here!
Sick to my stomach, I get up to go vomit in the toilet. Now, I wore a silicone wedding ring, and often find even with a hand wash, a little water tends to get trapped under it. After I finish and wash myself up, I come back and am playing with my ring to dry it. She sees this as a sign that I am uncomfortable again wearing my ring, and takes off her ring as I sit back down and hands me her wedding ring.
Me: Uh, excuse me?
D: This is what you want, I can tell.
Me: No? I was washing my hands and water gets stuck under my ring...
D: Oh... I thought... okay. (And she takes back her ring from me)
I tell her, very clearly, the options are to either end things with him, or end things with me. At this point, I'm still in shock, but sober in mind enough to decide that this is not worth fighting over. I will not argue with my own wife my merits or why she shouldn't just pack up and leave with a jobless, now essentially homeless man, and if she cannot figure that out herself then I will eventually move on.
Crying, sobbing, she sits down in front of him and says, "I'm so sorry, I fought for you. I really did. I told you I'd fight for you and I failed. I loved being your girlfriend, but I need to be a good wife and stay."
Z says "Alright." and starts to go gather his things to leave. As he does, she grabs him and says "No, wait! Please don't go. I don't know what I want."
Z: Ok, well if we're getting all this out in the open, I want to say this. I love this girl. I love her with my whole heart, and without her, life is not worth living. I will not leave this house if you (me) tell me to. Only her. You are taking this very well right now, I can tell you want to hit me (Still in shock, no, I can genuinely say that emotion or thought had not actually registered outside of the event upstairs earlier), but this is my stand.
D: OP, we had a good run. I'm sorry.
And with that, I get up and go to get my sandals and leave the house to get some air. As I try to go, she runs to the door and he follows her. She pushes the door closed and says "No wait, please!"
Me: No, this is the deal. I'm going out to get some fresh air. I am not threatening self harm to "win you back".
D: Will you be back?
Me: I don't know.
Z: Man, I'm telling you, you don't understand, you think I am your enemy, but I am not.
And with that, I leave and shut the door.
In the about, hour, I am gone, I drive around near the house and I call my supervisor who I have a very good relationship with (and I did not want to involve direct friends or family yet because I'm afraid it's too early to start spreading this news). I go over to her house nearby and we chat shortly. After our talk, I have at least something of a clear head and go home, with words for both of them.
As I arrive home, there is no one downstairs. I go upstairs. His door is closed. I knock on the door.
Z: Uh, one second.
I wait for about 5 agonizing seconds, but I refuse to be shut out of rooms in my own home and open the door. He is shirtless, and she is hiding in the corner just out of sight of me. I look him in the eye.
Me: Really?
Z: Yep.
Me: Get out of my house.
And with that, they both silently pack their things and leave.
The second I hear the front door close, I start calling people. I am not above pettiness, and the first person I call is her mom, whom I have a good relationship with. She is SHAKEN and immediately calls her. (I find out later that it was a particularly harsh verbal beating by her, but it really doesn't change anything.)
When I come downstairs to check the state of the house, I see her wedding ring on the counter. I call out of work the next day and lay down and hope I die.
Part 4: Her Problems
So, there is some additional context that I did not add in part 1 because a lot of it is red flags I ignored over the course of our relationship that, in the days following, started to become more and more obvious. There are many that I spent much effort playing off or covering her for, but I will try to briefly list much of what I see as glaring issues in the relationship that were never remedied.
This woman is 30 years old and cannot drive. She can drive and HAS driven my vehicle at the start of the relationship (albeit illegally), but after one tiny little accident where she hit a pole and knocked my side mirror off (which she paid for and fixed before telling me, it really wasn't a big deal. I was on deployment), she never drove again. Attempts to get her behind the wheel would end very quickly after they started, and the conditions to get her in the seat were often extremely time limited, scheduled, or something would come up, and every time I told her "okay, this month we're getting your license for sure" it just wouldn't happen and I'd end up feeling like the one who was at fault.
She does not have her Bachelor's degree because she did not turn in her final project for one single class. Not only that, but she has never truly pursued a career with the things she learned from the coursework, or even used her AA.
For half of the relationship, she did not work at all. When she did, it was often part time work, and if she was saddled with full time hours or, god forbid, overtime, it was a world-ending affair. She would come home and constantly be tired from her few hours at work and would do little more than sit around and crochet.
Our agreement when we bought our house was that she was going to work full time and we were going to split household duties, but I would definitely scoop the cat box because she was allergic (but she wanted cats) and wash dishes (because she hated them), and she would do laundry (because I hated it). In practice, all her version of laundry turned out to be was to throw loads in when one of us was out of clothes and just hit wash and then rotate, and then leave all the clothes in a pile on the bed. EVERYONE KNOWS folding the laundry is the worst part! Come on! Men's clothes are easy! I don't wear that much! (When we would fold, I often finished in a third of her time and would just hang out and chat until she was done)
Ultimately, this meant that for many years now, she was working barely more than part time if she was working at all, and would sort-of do laundry. Meanwhile, I am scooping litter, folding laundry, doing dishes, doing all related yard work, doing all the household cleaning, handling all the finances, I did MOST of the cooking, and all of the grocery shopping (often going alone), driving her from work if I could (she'd uber it if not) and picking her up and driving her home, as well as just generally being a chauffeur for her for 10 years, while working a full time job and a side gig online. Many nights I'd have to stop what I was doing to pick her up at closing hours, and then would sit in the parking lot for 30 minutes while she did tasks like vacuum her little crystal shop that she definitely could have done before close so I didn't end up waiting so damn long. Then we'd come home hang out and eat while we watched TV, and then if I wanted to try and go upstairs to do another hobby, I'd be silently guilted about it because she wanted to sit on the couch and crochet.
Part 5: My Problems
I am not perfect, and admit I have flaws. One of her favorite things to claim to our friends now is that I was "emotionally neglectful", and if there is truth to it, I think I can pin down the day. Before I started working full time again, I was going to school on the 9/11 GI bill. I was not a good student in my younger years, but in time, I have become rather good at school. My first two semesters back I easily maintained a 4.0 GPA. Over the summer in 2022, I, woefully, decided to take a Calc 2 class online because I could not find one in person and wanted to be ready for Calc 3 in the Fall to fill a prereq for my bachelor's, and I really liked the instructor for that Calc 3 class. This calc 2 class was painful. The instructor had clearly recorded all his lectures during Covid and we were simply given the full course of videos and given work assignments and said "Email me if you have questions." This is not how I learn, but I figured, hey, it's one class. I'm working again, but one class isn't a huge deal. I can knock this out.
I was wrong.
After the second exam, I had a low C in the class and I knew I couldn't keep up. I withdrew from the class feeling no other option. I tend to be pretty good at math, and ultimately my dream was to work with 3d printing on an industrial scale with a Mechanical Engineering degree- and if that failed I had my military history (which is engineering relevant) and a degree to fall back on and work should come easily. After clicking that withdraw button, I saw those dreams vaporize. After that, I threw myself into my government civilian job full time and slowly fell into depression. By the end of our relationship, with the toll of doing 99% of the work around the house and for her and with my dreams dead and buried, at age 33, I would wake up and pray I died. I would never kill myself, but I wanted to just die. I felt backed into a corner. I still did everything I could to support her and hoped that one day, she would pick up some of the load and maybe, just maybe, I could go back, but that day did not come (At least not in the way I expected).
Part 6: The Aftermath
This post is already too long, and if I include every single detail that has come to light since, I might actually hit the post cap, but I will go over at least some of it here.
I have had my friends come out in droves. Both of them have been effectively exiled, at least from what I can see, from every friend circle we have. After a couple of days, they flew back to live with, I guess, his parents in Vegas while they sorted shit out, because after I spoke with Z's previous roommate, he adamantly explained he was tired of all the "fucking drama" that Z had been bringing into the house and was just done with it.
I have spoken with many, many people and gotten even more context and even receipts of some of each of their conversations to our mutual friends, and some of the shit I read is just hilarious. He is "not ashamed of pursuing happiness, he is just sad that people got hurt". She is "coming to terms with emotional neglect and felt trapped, but now, yes now, she is free."
I got my neighbors to watch the cats, and took my dog up to visit my closest friend of 20 years and spent about a week and a half drinking, smoking, and talking about all this while surrounded by some of the most beautiful nature the US has to offer. Truly, without this man, I don't think I'd have gotten this far as quickly as I have. He really has been a lifesaver and I truly, to my dying day, will always appreciate him.
Paperwork has been filed, we wish to remain on good terms, and one day I still do hope I can be a friend to her, but she is woefully immature and incapable of adequately performing in an adult society. I have quit my job and am returning to school with a much lighter budget and will be getting that degree I desperately need.
It's been hard, real hard. I have put every ounce of my being into this relationship, and I truly felt like she was part of me, and nothing like this could ever happen. But it's that trust that allowed this to happen. I do not hate her, I'm just disappointed. I will pick up my pieces and, hopefully, find myself whole again soon.
Part 7: Rambling anecdotes
These are some stories I wanted to include in the previous body of text but didn't feel like it kept the same flow (if there even is any at all, I'm not proofreading this). If I remember any others after I post, Ill just toss them in the comments.
Early after Z came to live with us, my mother came to the house to drop off a package. I am pretty sure I was at work, but when my mother came to the door, both of them answered the door and the way my mom describes it "First of all, do you answer the door at your friends house? Also, the way he hovered over her made me uncomfortable. They were in the doorway and he was right up behind her poking his head out." She said my wife had told her that I was feeling unwell and was upstairs sleeping. I can't even be sure at this point.
Shortly before all the things happened, my parents were going out of town to celebrate their own anniversary, and I had agreed to dog-sit their 5 month old puppy (who, while cute, has WAY too much energy and was EXTREMELY difficult to handle, and I have raised several dogs at this point). We met up and took the dog, and then ALL of us (including Z) went to dinner. At dinner, my mother looked at my wife and asked, directly "And so how long have you been married? 6, almost 7 years? Well at least you missed that 7 year itch, huh" and my wife shortly followed with a comment about how she was not hungry and did not eat dinner that night.
All of this happened WHILE THIS CRAZY PUPPY was running around the house, and part of me thinks he pushed this to happen when it did because he could not stand having to help take care of this dog any longer (2 days).
About a week after all this happened, my wife did not text or call me, or respond to any messages or emails I sent her (I didn't send many, but they exist). Frustrated, I text her and tell her I need to talk to her about logistics moving forward, specifically about her belongings. She told me "I will talk to you when I am ready." We did not talk for another week. Also, she told me to stop talking to her mom. (I have a good relationship with both of my in-laws and while her step-father tried to remain impartial to the best of his abilities, he gave me some of the best advice I could possibly have gotten at that time, mostly about how to move forward and cope, as he has personally dealt with this with smaller relationships 3 separate times in his life which he gave me details on, and we are still on good terms.)
Their favorite TV show to watch together was Outlander, which, if you aren't aware, is basically a story about a woman who time travels and has two men in her life.
One of our biggest constant points of contention was my friendship with an old high school buddy (who I spent much of the time in the aftermath hanging out with while healing). We believe, with good reason, that she hated this man because after I had almost been hospitalized for psych reasons due to stress, he had told me I needed to talk to her about working again and doing more to help around the house. She figured out, obviously, who was telling me to say these things, and sent a very, very angry text to his wife. They all apparently made up, but I know she never let that grudge go.
One of the fairly recent hobbies I got into was D&D. It seemed like a good fit for all of us. She loved fantasy and gaming, I enjoyed 3d printing and story telling. She needed friends, and a party of people hangin out would give her at least a few connections to start. Every night she "participated" in D&D, she mostly sat quiet and did not do anything. Hell, I tried to get her to participate in 2 different games, and after she left the first one, she asked to just sit quietly in the discord call (This first one was online only, second was in person) and listen, which was super awkward. In the in person game, after 3 months of playing, she did not know how to play her character at all, and mostly spent her time at the table crocheting. (My buddy even made a comment about how at one point, he was proud of how good I was getting at DMing and I was giving particularly good exposition, and she interrupted me to hand another player at the table a dice bag she made. I don't remember it, but I absolutely believe this happened.)
The day of "the incident", she had a meltdown about how a friend of hers had ghosted her. I told her it was okay, she was much younger anyway and people grow apart. She's probably going through stuff and we should respect that path she's on. She cried about how she has no friends.
Also the day of "the incident", we were in the shower together and she told me she had met her sister's new BF on facetime. I asked "why did she break up with her old one?" "Well... she cheated on him." "Oh, that's a shame. Cheating is probably the most cowardly act a person can do to another. If you're going to start a new relationship, you need to grow a pair and end it before starting a new one." She clearly took my words to heart.
One of my biggest pet peeves about cleaning the house is our dog sheds, a lot. If I see a hairball roll through the house it immediately drains me a bit. We had a roomba. She would send that thing home when it started and never start it again. It barely ran. She would not vacuum.
One of the most common descriptors of her I've heard used by many people now that they're "allowed to" is "She was there, doing the thing with us, but it was like she wasn't there."
Something she thought that I apparently hadn't figured out by the time we talked after everything happened was that they had been talking since February. I told her I wasn't stupid and had figured it out already that this wasn't out of the blue.
Z's wife is currently pregnant with the baby of the man she cheated on him with. (And he is also married)
Anything else I remember Ill leave for comments, I know there is much, much more.
TL;DR
A friend of mine of 4 years drank himself into liver failure and his wife cheated on him, so I offered him a free room to try and put his life back together, and I was repaid for the thought with a divorce of my own, but honestly, it's probably not that bad.

Introduction

There was a post that was recently posted and it's been asked a ton: "How do I get a computer science related job after I graduate from KSU?". I thought I'd share this with everyone because I've been down this path and managed to make it on the other side. This will be a long explanation and hopefully, can serve as some sort of guide for students. That being said, things are subjective and this is not the holy grail of how to make it. You might find all, some or none of it useful. I encourage testimonials and whatnot in the comments. Can be applied to all majors but, this primary for technology-based majors since I am in tech field. YMMV

About Me

I've been around here for a while. I was a student not too long ago, studied computer science for my bachelors. After graduating, I work in FAANG and have worked in big tech for a while. No, I don't work at Amazon. I am a senior software engineer. I touch frontend & backend technologies. I participate in hiring frequently.

Starting Out

Over the years and while attending here, there's been a weird disconnect between students, goals and how to achieve them in tech. Goals can be anywhere from learning new technologies, getting internships to securing a full time job before or after you graduate. As much as I would love for there to be a path where you can do minimum effort and still succeed, there isn't. A lot of you seem to not realize that. Getting a degree in this field is not enough. Doing projects that show no passion / interests is not enough. Being stuck on tutorials for years is not enough.
This field is much like a sport. There are very few people that can just be great without any effort. You have to be consistent. Four years is not a lot of time. It goes by super fast. If you constantly push things back and you do not take the time to learn the fundamentals outside the classroom, you will not succeed in this field. This field is at a point where there's so many of you. Every post on LinkedIn and news articles said "hey, this field is a gold mine and you'll make six figures out the gate". For a time, maybe that was somewhat true. As of writing this, it's not. You're going against people who have: better schools, better experience, etc. You have to find a way to diversify yourself early. If you can't diversify, you're going to be in a tough place later down the road. Knowledge not something you can just consume in less than an hour and pass an interview. You have to know it well. If you don't, there's someone else who will.
There's an interesting connotation in life that you're either born super smart or an absolute idiot and that you have to be smart to do computer science / programming. There are people with raw IQ that can consume things like no one you've ever met but, that's such a rarity that there's no realistic use in using that as a data point. If you ever took the time to ask someone who you thought was really good at something, they would tell you something along the lines of: I love what I do and I spent a lot of time doing this. There are hours and hours of time people put into passions that you don't / will never see. Meaning that they can no-life this shit for days on end and still come back and do it some more. It doesn't mean that you can't succeed if don't do that but, computing / programming is a very boring field if you do not enjoy it. I would seriously contemplate why you're doing through this. If you're doing it for money and only money, you're going to end up miserable. No amount of money can make you do something you hate. It'll wear you down both mentally and physically. If you're doing this because it's a mix of passion and money, you're like everyone else and you gave yourself a better shot. It's a mental thing. Don't climb uphill if you rather sit at the bottom. There's nothing wrong with that. But, don't do it. For what it's worth, I am not the smartest person. I graduated high school with a low GPA and took college seriously because I wanted to do more with my life. Plus, being on hourly forever sounds horrible imo.
Additionally, college is what you make of it. Blaming professors or the program (while I do agree sometimes) is not great. Blaming professors that don't speak English is a cop out. If you work in tech, you'll be interacting with a lot of people from other countries. Professors and TAs can only teach you so much. Classes are meant to give you a taste of what it's like in that domain / space. It's not meant to fix all your issues and show you the way. That's for you to do on your own time. Take accountability of your own success, explore the internet (it's free) and lock in. Stop looking for opportunities to find you. Actively seek them out yourself.

Networking

Make connections with people. I cannot stress how important this is. Especially on the Marietta campus, there's a lot of you that go to class, stingers / food, run to class and immediately start gaming and think that when your classes are over, you're done for the day. That's such a bad mindset. Make connections with people. A lot of people say "there's nothing to do at KSU and there's no life on campus". That's not true. Join a club that interests you. Get close to the people in that club who actively attend and build a personal relationship. If there's no club with your interest, make a club. You can make one officially through KSU or add a discord server to the student hub and go from there. You'll meet some really cool people. Lots of my connections have come from randomly showing up to a club, getting out of my comfort zone and weirdly enjoying it.

Interviewing

Brush up on your interview skills. Technical and behavioral abilities matter. Culture fit matters. A lot of you seem to walk around with almost zero personal hygiene. Clean yourself up, practice talking to people and get places. There's been this stigma that culture fit doesn't matter as much as technical and if I have great technical abilities, they'll just accept me. I can tell you for an absolutely fact that I have thrown out / tossed out resumes from highly technical individuals that had zero people skills. If you can't communicate and clean up, you're more of a risk than someone who does all those things and has a bit less technical ability. Know more than just leetcode. Learn system design. Take a course / watch a video on Linux and bash. Do not be afraid of the command line interface. Take feedback seriously. Do not argue with people. If you future manager / colleague tells you that you need to work on things, work on those things. There's nothing worth than a co-worker in denial.

Jobs

As for internships and full time opportunities, there's a few classes at KSU that you really want to master: Data structures, Algorithm Analysis, Operating Systems and Discrete math. If you're in a major that doesn't have those classes, spend the extra money and take those classes. Do not take them online if you can afford to come in person. Take the hardest / best professors for those courses. Super important. Leetcode is quite literally, those two classes merged together in a prompt-style format. If you do not understand those concepts, you will not make it in this field.
Data Structures - Varies. Rate my professor.
Algorithm Analysis - Varies. Rate my professor.
Operating Systems - Do not take Carla McManus if you want to learn the concepts fluently.
Discrete Math - Andy Wilson.
Having solid resume is super important. Many people who don't secure things and get automatically rejected, etc have horrible resumes. Spend the money to get your resume professionally written. Templates are cool but, they don't convey information well. Don't put every achievement ever on there. The rule of "only one page" is complete and total bullshit. If you have projects and prior work experience related to the role, list it down. Don't conserve space for the sake of keeping it one page. I know the career center actively tells people on handshake to keep it to one page. They're wrong. I landed internships consistently at big tech / FAANG for years with a 1.5 / 2 page resume. Do not lie on your resume. If you can't solve a leetcode hard consistently with the technology / language of choice, you don't know it well enough. I have interviewed a ton of students that list they know C or Python and can't write recursion or gives me a solution in O(N^2) or worse. Aim for O(N), use a hashmap / hash table when you can and do it in a language that doesn't make you fight the runtime / compiler. Trust me, we know when you're making shit up. If you don't know something say it and then, tell them to explain more. This way, you show that you have the capability to learn. Ask smart questions. Do not ask questions that have already been answered. Take notes.
On your resume, experience is only real experience if you get a W2. If you don't get a W2, you can't claim it as professional experience. A lot of background checks these days are drilling down on incorrect information. I have seen instances where people lie, get an offer, company finds out through a comprehensive background check and their offer is gone. Do not put the fate of your future income on a lie. I cannot stress this enough. A lot of students actively lie.
Secondly, the trick to getting a good internship is timing. A lot of you want until Nov - Dec to find an internship and then, throw your hands up when no one responds. That's not a good mindset. Solid internships are recruiting in end of July to August. By September, the amount of open spots are extremely thin. Local companies tend to look for internships during this time. Internships are about luck after that. Reach out to people in your circle to increase your odds. A referral goes a long way. Prior experience through projects that are complex and unique go a long way. It's a numbers game. Don't aim for the highest thing ever without some sort of referral. You can still apply but, do not expect much from it. Start small and work your way up. It's extremely rare to go from KSU undergrad sophomore to Google. It takes a lot of outside work. If you happen to land the internship, make sure that you get recommendations at the end. Having real people who you worked with in a professional capacity that can vouch for you is huge. If you're in your junior year and you get an internship, make sure you try to secure a full time offer. Loop in your boss, mentor, etc. Make your expectations clear. Reach their expectations and beyond.
Thirdly, full time opportunities are rare and most new grads that get hire come from the previous year's intern pool. If you don't get converted, you have to make up that time searching for a job during your senior year. If you do get converted, keep looking because companies are flaky these days. Always have a Plan B & C. Never fully count on Plan A. If you don't have internships across four years, it's over for you. From a hiring manager perspective, it's an absolute red flag when we come across someone with a degree and no internships. That's effectively going against the point of college. You'll have to settle for crumbs and crawl your way up. Very few make it out of that hole. Especially, now.

Searching for an Opportunity

Do not wait until after you graduate to find a job. Jan - Early May are when most companies finalize budgets and hire. If you wait until after May, you'll have to wait until after the Summer and possibly, October for hiring to pick up again. Proactivity is nothing but good for you. If you can't be proactive then, you won't succeed in this field. Referrals matter but, personal connections with the hiring manager / recruiter are much, much better. Work your way up. Don't discount an opportunity because it doesn't pay well. Get as much experience as you can and bounce around. Do not go into the gate thinking you're going to make $120K - $140K / yr out the gate. You're most-likely going to make $68K - $75K / yr depending on the location. Do not listen to LinkedIn posts that claim all this cool shit and how to do it. Trust me, it's bullshit. Don't pay attention to it. It's a brag-fest. It's a long road. Start walking on it early and you'll reach the other side when it matters most.
The reality of this economy is that highly experience people have been laid off. Those people are applying to entry level roles and those roles are being filled for cheap. In addition, watch out for fake postings and scam jobs. If you take a contract job, always keep looking. Avoid jobs that will providing "training" before you even start. Avoid jobs that are less than week old. You want things that are fresh. It's a numbers game. Apply for 300+ jobs every week until you get a response back. Don't be discouraged by employers who don't respond or ghost you. Keep at it. It's a mental game.

Conclusion

I think if you do these things, you'll end up at a great spot after four years. If you're just now coming across this and you've been slacking, use this an opportunity to wake the fuck up, light a fire under your ass and lock in. If you're still in denial after reading this post and you have yet to get anything, light a fire under your ass, come to terms with it and lock in.
If you're in it to do zero work, cheat on your classes, mess around for four years and somehow wing a high salary, good luck. You're fucked. You're so fucked, in-fact, that you'll be wondering "why me and why is it so hard" for a long ass time.

Cool Resources

Git - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CvUiKWv2-C0
Github (use this as you portfolio; web devs should make an actual clean website) - https://github.com
Github Student Pack (tons of free resources) - https://education.github.com/pack
Linux Handbook - https://linuxhandbook.com/ Linux Quickguide - https://github.com/mikeroyal/Linux-Guide
Cool Linux-based Subreddit -
Understand: Kernel Space vs. User Space, Memory Allocation / Deallocation, Bitwise Operations, Memory blocks, processes and threads, context switching
System Design Primer - https://github.com/donnemartin/system-design-primer
Understand: Monolith vs. Micro-services, Tradeoffs between different approaches, Vertical vs. Horizontal Scaling, Load Balancers, Buckets, Data lakes, CI / CD Pipelines, Data Clusters, Client-Server Architecture, Synchronous vs. Asynchronous Context: System design is like a giant puzzle that has many forms. Create a basic design. It won't be perfect. Mix-and-match different services and know why, how and tradeoffs between each approach.
Programming language is dependent on the role and what the company favors. Common ones are Java, C++, Python, C#, JavaScript / TypeScript and C. You can look at jobs that you would like to work someday, look at the requirements and use that as a basis on where to start learning. Things constantly change. Fundamentals build up on each other. Start small. Work your way up. Do not dream big. Dream realistic. Everyone is different.

Hi everyone, I have a few questions about buying a gun as an American, maybe some other Americans who have already gone through this can help…
I don’t have a C settlement permit (nor B just passport for now till I do all that…is with a passport allowed?) so I know I would need the weapons acquisition permit…on the fedpol site it says “They must also have an official certificate from their canton of residence or country of origin confirming that they are authorised to acquire the weapon or main components.” I’m from Kentucky and they allow any person 21 years or older who is legally able to purchase a firearm to carry it concealed in public, without a permit or background check. The only restrictions would be if you are a convicted felon or have a misdemeanor with domestic violence/assault or you have a court order against you for a mental condition. Anyyyways how would I get this proof? Do I need something from Kentucky saying I can own a gun? Or would I get this from the embassy? Also is there any sort of waiting period, if so how long? Plus if I’ve missed anything in the process please let me know. Thanks everyone

Background: I deleted the original post and my account, but I received a TON of messages from people asking for an update so here it is. A little under a year ago, I made a post sharing that I was part of the mass tech layoffs and so much time had passed that I was forced to live out of of my car. I was able to find a job doing manual labor for a company in the manufacturing industry.
I'm a UX designer that studied design in college and have 5 years of experience. I mostly worked in banking and healthcare.
Update: While doing manual labor at that company, I worked my way up quickly in a short amount of time. I eventually became a PM and a good amount of my job was UX. I was no longer living out of my car and I was able to get an apartment.
Out of nowhere, a very well known company in Silicon Valley reached out to me and convinced me to apply. I told them I wasn't looking for a job, but I'd interview. My thought process was if I get this job, it would help my career because I'd have the title of UX designer on my resume under this very well known company that many people would consider their dream job.
After a very grueling interview process, they made me an offer and I accepted. The pay was more than what I was making and I'd be a designer with a well known tech company. This lasted a few months until the company had mass layoffs. Every person on my team was let go, myself included.
I was shocked because we were extremely busy. No one was just sitting around, there was tons of work to do. I was also shocked because I went from being employed to accepting an offer that I thought would help my career but left me unemployed shortly after starting.
The lesson: Perhaps it's better to be a big fish in a small pond. Job security seems like a perk these days. I had major influence at my last company, helping drive business decisions and being the only designer in an engineering/manufacturing heavy company. I let that go for a job title with a well known company and I paid the price. If I did it once, I could do it again. This time around I need to pay attention to both my physical and mental health.
Good luck to everyone on the job search. I don't plan on keeping this account. I believe in you, keep going!

i’ve been out of college for a year as of this week. i can’t find a job. i’ve been on multiple interviews and applied for hundreds of jobs. i can’t do this shit anymore. i have everyone in my ear about what i should do and what i could have done in the past to change my situation. i’ve had multiple interviews in my desired field, some not even remotely in my field. no one even calls me anymore. every interview i’ve been on, i’ve been qualified for. i had the equivalent of an internship in college, for 3 straight semesters. now i’m applying to retail by my house and no one has called. it’s making me hate my life. i think the parent i live with is starting to resent me. my sibling gives me an ear full at least once a week about how im a failure and a let down. my parent that im living with knows so many people and they promise me that they’ll get me a call back from somewhere or another. it’s exhausting waiting to hear from people, only to be months out and not hearing from them. i had one interview who didn’t even get through my background check yet, i interviewed over 2 months ago. i’m lost. burnt out from searching. i’m in therapy and i try to keep my head up. i’m scared of grad school because of how poorly i did in school, i did a lot better in undergrad, but also loans scare me. what am i doing wrong?

Throwaway because my abuser stalks my Reddit account.
I grew up in a very dysfunctional, low income, no parents around for the first 10ish years of my life, raised by my siblings or by the streets, environment. No dad, no guidance from my mom for the first 10 years, a lot of trauma mixed in.
Fast forward to high school. I’m like any other teen by trying to fit in, being social, etc, and also like a teen with cptsd, by trying to get validation to know I’m worthy human, people pleasing and being used for my homework/smarts because I just want to be accepted, sexual promiscuity, etc.
Unfortunately when I was 15, I met my abusegroomecurrent husband. He was my “Spanish” teacher in high school. (Subject changed for privacy). When I turned 16 we began our “relationship”. He was 26. I finally had a stable male role model who told me I’m interesting, smart, worthy, beautiful, etc.
Like come on, it was perfect bait for a troubled soul such as myself.
Of course, I did anything and everything he’s wanted. I didn’t want to lose my mentolovestability. I never had a good role model for relationships, so he pretty much taught me what is normal for a relationship. Spoiler: it wasn’t normal.
Long story short, I’ve grown up and to my horror, I’ve realized that I’ve been groomed and manipulated, and I’ve realized WHY. I had no idea I had issues. Everyone told me how smart mature and intelligent I was. Why would I ever doubt my own judgement?
Now I’ve been beaten down to the lowest point I’ve ever been, and it feels like surviving another day is a battle I’m slowly losing. My mental state has always been on the verge of a breakdown, but I’m at 99% critical now. I’m a stay at home mom to two toddlers and my husband ends me nasty emails all day, making me spiral and want to cry and scream into a pillow for 3 days straight but I can’t because I have to be positive and not scary for my kids and the guilt of lashing out in front of them is even greater than my regular mental turmoil.
I don’t feel strong enough to conquer the huge task of finding a job after 4 years of unemployment ( I quit my career to follow my husband across the country away from all my friends and family, so that I could be a stay at home mom).
I need to work on my resume.
I need to accept that I won’t be able to be there for my kids while they’re growing and developing (side note: is anyone extremely sentimental about their kids milestones and experiences in life? I was a kid who literally no one checked for or cared about or cared to see my milestones or anything. I wonder if I am over correcting that from my childhood).
I need to accept that after 14 years with my abuser, I can actually start life over and be an adult the way I want to be, not the way my authoritative, controlling husband wants me to be.
But mostly it’s the fact that I won’t spend every waking hour with my babies anymore 😭😭😭 like my heart races and my stomach churns when I even think about it.
I’ve been putting off getting a job because I’m so afraid to face the mental stressors that come with finding a job (working on my resume, figuring out how to explain my gap in employment, figuring out it if I want to work remotely so that I can be with my kids as much as possible), and not being with my babies.
I’ve typed too much. I’m just at my wits end and I don’t know what else to do. I know what I NEED to do, but the fear and anxiety and complete loss of control over my situation has paralyzed me. My husband recently stopped paying my student loans and credit cards and tanked my credit to 540. This is because I’ve been “abandoning my responsibilities” by taking time to go upstairs to work on finding a job, while leaving him with our two toddlers who have already been fed and are occupied with tv/toys, which I made sure of. He doesn’t want to cook, clean, or take care of the kids, and is punishing me for telling him I expect him to help.
Maybe someone has been in a similar situation and has gotten out? How did you do it on top of the struggles of cptsd? Like it almost feels impossible to get through this?

So, I'm a former Labor and Employment attorney. Straight out of law school, I got a job at a botique HR firm and I did nothing but litigate employment cases and advise HR managers on compliance issues for 5 years. I hated practicing law, so I quit. For the last 11 years my wife and I have supported ourselves quite nicely by self-publishing fiction novels. She does most of the writing, I edit and do all the administrative stuff that comes with self-publishing (marketing, formatting, creating products we sell online, handle accounting and taxes, really a jack of all trades). Well, now the self-publishing industry is in decline. There are a number of reasons for this, but mostly I think it's because there are SO many other forms of enterntainment available that simply weren't there when we started writing 11 years ago (Tik tok, streaming services, etc.). So, I decided to rejoin the workforce. I still do not want to practice law (and it would be very difficult for me to find a job being out of the legal world for so long anyway), but I thought I might enjoy HR. I figured with my background as a labor lawyer, I would have no trouble getting a job. So, I scheduled myself to take the PHR in June and started applying for jobs. I've heard nothing so far, which I found a bit surprising. Then, I come across this post: https://www.reddit.com/humanresources/comments/1crsrik/what_is_going_on/ I'm like WTF? If seasoned HR professionals cannot find a job. How can I? Now, I'm just kind of at a loss as to how to proceed. Should I continue my current course or look for another industry? Any sage wisdom would be appreciated.

In his addons "iridescent wooden plank" "sacrificial knife" and "wooden plank" all talk about a journalist, seemingly weaseling herself into the group to documentate her findings about the cult like utopia.
How I know they're a female? It's in the descriptions (iridescent wooden plank "she came here to poison your minds with fear! Do not let the fear in!" -otto stamper) but something ticked in my head.
Who is this reporter? They go unnamed in the addons so I checked the druanees bio. NOTHING.
Which I found odd because important people in killers and survivors got names, but this one very important person in the druanees lore didn't get one? And then it clicked in my head.
The multiple realities theory.
It is believed and proved that most survivors, cosmetics and killers are from different realities. so I got to thinking, what if this desperate reporter was infact..a survivor, already in the game,therefore going unnamed.
So I searched, since it was a female I cut the selection of all the males, then I checked the female survivors bios.
Meg- this doesn't make sense, she (I believe) is a runner or was a runner in all her realities
Claudette- this doesn't make sense, she is a botanist or was a botanist in all her realities
Nea- this isn't possible due to her being a streetwise character, she wouldn't take a reporting job
Feng- a gamer and cosplayer, no other possible jobs
Kate- a country singer, and in one of her realities was in a popular band
Jane- this was possible but she probably wouldn't do something so risky, so she would stick to game shows
Yui- Street racer in all her realities
Élodie- her lore consists inside another survivors and is mainly based on a cult (Felix's lore) so this was also a possible pick, but she was more of a secret spy rather than a news reporter so this idea was scrapped
Yun-jin- I believe she was a musical producer in all her realities so no she wouldn't
Mikeala- she worked in moonstone as a story teller (?) So that was far off
Haddie- this was impossible or reincarnation was at play
Thalita- this was also unlikely, she has a brother and they never go anywhere without the other soo
Sable- default Sable I personally believe was from a completely different reality from the default mikeala due to their conflicting bios, this is shown due to Sable talking about mikeala ,her best friend ,going missing but mikealas doesn't speak a drop about Sable and how both of them also had no coalition with reporting in the first place , so this was also far from it.
So That only left one survivor.. ZARINA CASSIR!
On zarinas bio it talks about her having being near a reporter like job in the first place, as her job was being a documentarion here are some pieces of lore that shows her possibly being the reporter that was killed by otto;
-the news channel about injustice was always on which led her down to be a reporter
-went UNDERCOVER (modified her look, faked an accent and secured a job at a restaurant and posted the content she filmed online after being fired and was picked up by THE NEWS)
-she wan first prize on her film on sacco and vanzetti for an English exam (?) And that shot her off to do documentary (this reality it was mainly film making)
-she interviewed someone (a warden for hellshire penitentiary) about a previous prisoner at hellshire (this being caleb, the deathslinger who was irish)
-got picked up by the news AGAIN but this time on gang violence and only drew traction due to it gaining international acclaim
-looked deeper into the picture on the "mad mick massacre" story which could've been a different name for caleb in that reality
-blended in AGAIN to sneak into the restricted are of the prison and then vanished due to the entity after moving a brick with "death to bayshore" written on it and both connected by the wrench owned by caleb which they both touched before disappearing into the fog
All this aswell as her becoming a "plucky documentarion" all help my theory that in an alternate reality ZARINA CASSIR was infact the reporter in the druanees bio.
Some helpful exta information coinside within her perks quotes;
Off the record "Trust me, I investigate thoroughly and DISCREETLY" being discreet by blending I to the cult and then being murdered after being caught by otto stamper?
Red herring "The news edit out what is burdensome and complex; which is the TRUTH" as in what she was looking for in the cult where she blended in with the ottomarians, gathered Intel and tried to publish the truth to the world but failed to do so in the process!?
And finally, for the people "We can write our own story and decide how it really ends" kind of like how you were trying to write the truth about the ottomarians and trying to tell the ottomarians that otto was lying about the utopia and were also trying to say it was also a cult and then being killed by said otto!?
I rest my case, any questions comments are below 🙏

As the title asks, what are some things that you checked out and loved because of a re:View? Movies, shows, and metal bands welcome!
For me, I would say my top 3 are Re-Animator, The Return of the Living Dead, and UHF. If I had to rank them: Re-Animator and Return are both super closely tied for first with perhaps Return eking it out; it's so good, I've seen it enough times to use it as background noise by this point haha. Tho I haven't seen it as much, I love Re-Animator to death (corny word choice intended) and will quote "plagiarist" whenever it's even somewhat applicable! Both are among my favorite horror movies, 80's movies, and in my overall favs. UHF, while before my time as a subject matter, is super well written and just a fun movie, great to decompress to. Even the jokes that I needed more context for (thanks Jay and Josh for that) were enjoyable both with and without. Plus, I've always enjoyed Weird Al's music since I was a kid, so I was def primed to enjoy the movie I feel.
Bonus: What are people sleeping on that you feel would shine in a re:View? An Albert Pyun follow up with Nemesis (at least the first one) would go hard and Split Second with Rutger Hauer is interesting and a good watch (both 1992 sci-fi flicks funnily enough), more people should give it a shot.

I’m a rehire and I recently applied to a different store, they said they will run a background check but it’s been a few days and haven’t heard back. How long does it take for the background check?

After a little bit of creeping around this subreddit I’ve decided I should contribute my feelings abt Tara and associates, tarayummysnarkpage and other surrounding topics. To preface: I’ve been rewatching some old (2020-2023) videos of Taras and comparing them to new ones, I’ve seen some posts here saying she lost her geniality and I 100% agree so here’s some thoughts and opinions I have.
1- reality check! As someone who is a few years younger than Tara and living independently as of late I’ve THE BIGGEST ICK caused by her spewing and spewing about finding a new place and a new car and all these insanely expensive purchases.
1a- new apartment. I’m assuming Tara spends thousands of dollars each month on doordash, clothes and drugs&alc. I think moving out is going to be a HUGE reality check because rent in LA is not cheap, bro is gonna have to budget big time 2a- BASIC TASKS. Cooking, cleaning, laundry oh my! She doesn’t know how to cook. Per my last point she’s gonna learn real fast that cooking will save money big time. Her whole house gets cleaned weekly (personally I think this is a huge privilege but it’s so unnecessary and if she relies on housekeepers I just KNOW her shower will be so effing gross lmao)
2- setting an example For a while I thought the quirky party girl lifestyle was lowkey kinda fun, but now when I check Instagram EVERYDAY and she’s at the club I’m just like oh my GOD chill out for a second. She’s obv borderline alcoholic and the drug jokes are getting annoying.
2a- impressionable audience Tara has and KNOWS she has a Young teenage audience and personally it feels like she is not spreading a good message to these kids. It seems like all she does is put people down who don’t benefit her.
3a- tmi Especially as of late it feels like Tara is sharing wayyy too much online. Or saying stuff like “I want to share this with you soooo bad” okayy so don’t even bring it up? It’s just gonna spread rumors (maybe she wants the rumors to talk abt on dropouts lmao?)
Overall I’m very iffy about the infamous tarayummy, I think the fame is getting to her and I think her parents kinda failed raising her for the real world but also, I don’t know her personally and I don’t know the first thing about her life.
Idk if this made any sense I CANNOT put words on paper. Just some things have been irking me recently about Tara. Don’t even get me started on the whole ex boyf thing lol.

So when I got three I order a while back I check them and all three were good for the chips. My question is does these cart can still fail at random times even if they are good when I check or should they still be good for a long while before I have to worry about failling?

As I’m sure you can guess from the title, I burned the bridge with my previous employer. For some background, I’ve had a lot of problems with my pay over the last year and a half. I found out new graduates were starting straight out of college a couple thousand under what I was currently making. I was trying to get a promotion during that time too. One of my coworkers then asked my boss for a raise himself and within 2 weeks he was given a promotion. So, I started applying and got a job offer for $15k above what I was making. My precious company then countered for $5k above what was offered and I accepted. After I had told the new company it was a no, my current employer changed my offer to match instead of doing $5k higher. I was pretty livid but dealt with it. About a month of telling the new company it was a no from me, they came back with another offer for another $15k higher than their original. I decided to go ahead and make the switch.
My current employer was extremely upset and told me I was “blacklisted” from them. I was pretty upset that people I respected in the company were going to this extreme lengths. Is this normal? I feel like I didn’t do anything that wrong. I even offered them 3.5 weeks notice to help backfill me but they wanted me out in 2. Thanks for the help.

tl;dr - I got fired 7 months ago and today I received a cease and desist from my former employer’s lawyer, accusing me of logo misuse and harassing former colleagues, including bizarre claims of "misdirected revenge." I've never harassed employees and need advice on how to proceed.
Hey everyone,
A little background - I worked in marketing for a home builder for about a year and a half. Last October, I took a bereavement day, and when I came back, I found out I was let go because I missed a meeting I was supposed to lead on that bereavement day. That was seven months ago, and since then, I've moved on to a new job and tried to put everything behind me.
But then, out of the blue, I received this official-looking cease and desist letter from my old employer's lawyer. They're saying I misused their logo on my portfolio site, which, to be honest, I did. After I left the company, I wanted to update my portfolio to showcase the work I did for them, so I included some stuff with their logo. I know I wasn't exactly allowed to, but I had a lot of work from my time there, and I was just trying to find a new job after getting let go. So for now, I password protected my site until I can figure out how to blur out all the logos.
That was honestly to be expected. What really has me confused are their other accusations of harassing former colleagues. The letter says I did all sorts of crazy things like “misdirected revenge”, publishing employees' cell phone numbers to mess with vehicle sales (???), and registering personal addresses and phone numbers with sales services. I've never even heard of anything like that, let alone done it. I'm totally confused as to where these accusations are coming from.
And isn't it kinda odd that they're checking out my personal website seven months after I left?
I'm feeling pretty lost and confused about all this. Should I get a lawyer and respond to all this, or just it go? Any advice or similar experiences would be a huge help.
Thank you!

Background: Veteran, returned to school and graduated with BS in 2018. Med device sales from 2018-present. I sacrificed pretty much everything for this job. I relocated to a less desirable place. All of my hobbies dried up. I haven’t taken a single vacation in 6 years. I hustled and sacrificed. I make okay money but for the amount of work and stress I put up with to string together 120k…it can’t continue. Typically 12 hour days and even when I’m not physically working my mind is consumed by work.
Current situation: I’ve decided to depart without anything lined up. I have no debt. I’ve aggressively saved over the last 6 years; having around 110k in 401k. 30k in a Roth. An Invested HSA around 15k and roughly 85k in cash savings mostly in high yield.
The predicament: I plan to just take some time off… a few months at the least. I understand an employment gap is an issue for some employers. I simply don’t even know what the next employer might be. I have ZERO interest in med device sales again and would happily take a 50% pay cut to be outside daily working with my hands (generally speaking).
In my time off, I want to focus on getting back into the things I used to enjoy: competitive swim, running, biking, surf, golf…. Etc. see family and friends. I want to plan for the next move as well but currently another side effect of the last 6 years I don’t even know what I’d like to do. Pretty sad.
I guess my question is, how concerning is a gap for this reason? How do I find what my next move is. I seriously can’t think of anything that gets me excited…
Advice?! Thanks!

My manager came to me the other day, saying my DBS came back as invalid. I’m assuming this is a routine check of some sort as I applied for my DBS at my last job, got it, and then had it on the update service. It looks like my card declined when the update service payment was due, and I didn’t see the notification, so it’s expired now. My manager told me to essentially sort it out myself. I looked all over the internet and it said everywhere that an enhanced DBS can only be applied for by the employer, but my manager wanted me to somehow do this myself. I found somewhere that I’m 99% sure is scamming me and paid £94 for them to do it for me versus having my manager do it. There’s intimate care involved in my role (nappies, work with SEN) which I do the bulk of as im the only person who can do it quickly. My colleagues are already pissed off at me because obviously until my new DBS comes through I can’t change nappies.
Does anyone know where I can do a proper, enhanced DBS and isn’t going to scam me? Especially if it can be quick.
I’m on the brink of quitting this job anyways but here we are.

I started with NF about a month ago, everything is going AMAZING. Today as I was leaving work, a lady was walking her dog across the street and yelled out to me. Lots of homeless in the area but she had a cocker spaniel so honestly I didn’t think she was. She came over and asked me if I knew if the neighbor across the street moved away, and I said I didn’t know because I just started working in the area. She then points to NF house and said “you work there?” I didn’t answer and started getting my keys ready to run to my car. She then says “you know me, I live around the corner” and I of course said I didn’t know her and then she got in my face saying “you do know me I know your face I know you!” I was almost touching my car at this point and she shows me like week-old bruises on her upper arm and said the neighbor (who she asked about earlier) did it to her and I just nodded, then she said a group of college boys did it to her then started SCREAMING that I was one of the ones who did it to her. I jumped in my car and locked the doors, and she was standing there screaming that she’s going to call the cops on me and saying “you don’t think I’ll run a background check on you?” and kept getting behind my car as I was backing up. I faked her out and finally was able to back out and speed away.
Instantly, I texted DB saying “crazy lady outside, she’s threatening to call cops on me. looked like she was heading to your door.” He calls me a few mins later saying she was screaming by the gate so he went outside and asked her to keep it down since NK was napping. She then screamed to him that his nanny (which I never said I was but there’s lots in the area…?) is a bad person and they should’ve never hired me etc. He asked what it was about and I told him that she was claiming I beat her up and he laughed about it.
I’m SO anxious about it y’all I know I did nothing wrong (record obviously clean) and I’m sure NF already ran a background check, but I’m still worried about it. I don’t want some crazy lady putting any doubt in their minds about me. I really believe she is mentally unwell and needs help, but if she does live in the area that’s terrifying. I also worry about my car because I park near the street and she more than definitely saw what car I was in.
My biggest worry, however, is that I will be with NK and she’ll recognize me or speak to me again. NK is 12 months and I wouldn’t really know what to do if we had to run away again. Did I do the right thing?