Hello, I am looking for a longterm duo and friend. If you are looking for the same, I hope you read the whole post. I type alot in the interest of not wasting anyone’s time.
I play almost every genre. Im hoping to find someone that likes more than one or two games and knows what they like. I often find people that are “down for anything” but not excited about anything. I want someone who is as excited to play as I am. Some games that I currently would like us to play are:

Path of Exile (I play every League, its currently my main game and I’m happy to teach it)
Escape from Tarkov (Coop Pve for now, not looking to do pvp again til wipe. Im a retired Sherpa with several thousand hours)
Borderlands 2 (Always down for a new play through)
V Rising (Pve focused)
Project Zomboid
RimWorld
Ready or Not
Helldivers 2
Coop story/horror games
Fallout 76
Battlebit Remastered is pretty fun
Ive heard good things about elden ring coop mod but havent tried it
Smite (Not league or dota)
Hunt Showdown if anyone wants to teach it to me
Grayzone/ Arena Breakout when they get more polished
Fortnite/Pubg occasionally

There are alot more so feel free to ask anything. Please do not message and just say you wanna play one game. Im looking for a permanent duo for many games, not an evening of just helldivers.
For availability, I am gaming 8-12 hours a day. I don’t work. I don’t expect that from you, but I am looking for someone who will want to play a few hours a day on most days. If you only play weekends, I don’t think we will be a good match. I am very flexible with scheduling and communication is most important to me.
I do ask for age 20+ and NA replies only for ping reasons. Would use discord voice chat.
If you made it this far, then I imagine you are looking for a similar thing. If we have similar game interests and availability, drop a comment or send me a message. Tell me about yourself. We can discuss what game we want to start on, games we have in common etc. If we don’t match up well, that’s okay also. I wish you the best on your search as well.

I want to to express my gratitude at the things my new doctor told me during our appointment a few days ago. and to maybe bring some positivity to this sub, especially after how painfully upset I was in my last post and how much you guys struggle as much as me with feeling dismissed, invalidated, etc.
bascially, I told the doctor the symptoms I've been putting up with and have as of late and have been for years now, like since age 11. first green flag was him asking if I was okay, if I feel anxious and if I struggle with anxiety and depression and IMMEDIATELY telling me afterwards "btw, this doesn't mean that the pain is all in your head. that's not a real thing. the mind and body are definitely connected and the mental can affect physicial and the reverse, but that doesnt take away the validity of the real physical pain you are experiencing. of course the pain is "in your head" you wouldn't know pain is there unless your brain tells you duh"
then he told me "to be honest, I don't think that what you're struggling with will show up on these tests. I've see lots of cases like this before and you've been sporadically visiting our clinic over the past several years for different symptoms and problems when what you need is a consistent physician to track your symptoms over time and help you treeat them". he told me that he thinks I may have fibriomyalgia or chronic fatigue syndrome (because of widespreas pain across different body systems) and despite expecting all the labs he ordered for me to come up negative, he's giving them to me just to rule anything out, like my past vitamin d issue. and he told the over and over again that just because the tests come back negative doesn't mean nothing is wrong with me. he said it like 5 times looking me straight in the eyes all serious like he knew that I and all the chronically ill folks out there needed to hear that. I did. we do 💗
he went on about how so many doctors, especially male doctors are arrogant (which is why he believes women tend to be better doctors) and have this pride issue where they think that just because they have a degree and went to school that they ""know everything"" that if they can't identify what a patient is going through that it means nothing is wrong and that it can't possibly just be them being misinformed!! he said all this considered, I can choose a physician from the clinic to start seeing on a regular basis now that I'm 18 and understands if I wanna be referred to or choose to see a woman. but I was like "no, I want YOU to be my doctor" I told him he's the first doctor ever I've seen that acknowledged the presence and possibility of these chronic illnesses, that didn't use mental health to invalidate, but to educate, and that actually just listened. then I gave him a hug and started tearing up a little bit like the cry baby I am lolll
I'm seeing him again next tuesday to see if I'm having any improvements and he put me on a medication for nerve pain (gabapentin). so far it's not working the best and I'm still in alot of pain. I'm not expecting the ride through whatever I have to be easy and seamless but damn am I happy to have found someone that at least seems willing to give me a chance, fully hear me out and bear witness to my situation. especially at my young age. 7 years is alot to have chronic pain like this, but I feel luckier than most people. I know it's hard, but please keep fighting guys, at least keep posting on here and sharing your stories, no matter how ugly. maybe I'm the last person to try to be positive, but I care alot, the people in this sub care, there are doctors out here who can and do care

I've been in this group so long I can't believe this is my first post, but I'm getting kinda desperate and would love some guidance. This post might not be for everybody in this group, so feel free to ignore if it doesn't relate to you...but if it does please help!
My current J1 is amazing. Midwestern State. Great culture, pretty decent pay, and the flexibility is unreal (like my boss lets me use the "unlimited vacation" to work on extended vacation for almost a month every year!) Unfortunately it's a hybrid role and I have an extremely long commute, but the hours and days worked in the office are flexible.
Recently I was diagnosed with OCD and ADHD. It's taken a long time to come to grips with this reality since I always thought it was something that I could just "get over" by trying myself to control it--but that's no longer feasible so I reached out for help. My husband encouraged me to talk with my HR rep (not yet to my manager) about possibly getting accommodations to WFH full-time. It should be noted that my disabilities are legit...I'm not just trying to find a WFH loophole...but in the back of my head I feel guilty for asking for accommodations in the first place and making myself seem like a 'victim.'
My company's new ceo is pretty adamant about keeping the hybrid schedule, but I think that I might have a decent chance of getting my accommodations approved.
My biggest issue is that I need help filling out the accommodations request form.

1. I want to ask for accommodations to WFH- How to I convey that doing so will assist me in performing the essential functions of my job?
2. How to describe my limitations that make it seem like WFH is the ultimate solution, rather than giving me my own office?
3. When I talked with HR she made it seem like they'd probably do a 6 month trial period basically....max of a year. Does this sound right? Should I ask for permanent WFH if I think it'll most likely be denied? Like my disability will last my entire life, wouldn't it make sense for the accommodations to match? Idk.
4. Other than WFH, are there any other accommodations I should ask for?

This has the opportunity to have a HUGE impact on my quality of life, so any guidance/input you have is greatly appreciated. TIA!

I look at you from across the room, Instantly feel the urge to talk to you. One more thing I'm thinking about, Why am I not sitting next to you? I'm so jealous of that blonde girl, Cute blue dress with white ribbons.
I can't help it, I feel this way deeply, I know I should be grateful, not angry. I get to live in the same town, get to call you ever since lockdown, get to see the same purple sky As you, every single cold night.
You're literally a rockstar, Carrying around your guitar. And when you start playing, I immediately start shaking. Shivers running down my spine, I can't believe it, this is real life!
I can't help it I'm taking pictures, I can't help it I'm screaming every word, I can't help it if you're like this, You're unbelievable, actually...
I love the way your curly hair looks, It's giving 1950s yearbooks. Imagine if we had lived then, Would have we still met? No social media to stalk you, No close friends story I could post To which you'd react and call, Not knowing I only let YOU, see it all.
All the bad you've been put through, I wanna hit the people who've hurt you. I'll literally fight them one by one, Then hide their stuff in my backyard. And don't worry the cops won't find me or if they do, it will still be worth it.
I can tell you this one thing for sure, I won't let you cry for no more. I don't want any tears running down, On your cheeks, through your dimples. (Unless of course they're happy tears)
Everytime I write in my journal, I can't help but feel fortunate To write down your name, 'cuz Girl, you never fail to amaze me!
School bells ring, classes end, I go up to you and you pull me in. We say goodbye, see you next week, The weekend's here, oh how great! It of course makes me happy. But I can't help overthinking. Did I do something wrong? What if my spell comes off? Which I've only used a few times before, When I wanted to make you call.
You always put a smile on my face, I love how you smell and the roses in you hair. The adorable way you laugh, Whild I tell you my silly poems. Gosh, I love hanging out with you! I know you'll shine eternally.
You always make me feel great, Because you're just so amazing. Why are you so nice to me? Like actually, why do I deserve this? I don't, not at all, I know that, It unfortunately might soon end...
Until then, I want you to know, I love you with all my heart, I will forever and ever do, Because I've never seen anyone like you.

Hi All,
Well, if my last post about Wireguard wasn't justification enough for my sometimes lack of common sense then this might surely confirm that sentiment.
My current setup is an HP Z600 workstation with 96G ram and 2 mirrored pairs of 20tb drives that, frankly, was fine, but, like most of us, it's never enough so I went ahead and bought a Dell R730xd 12 bay server which was delivered to me yesterday. A piece of hardware which I probably have no business using with my relative little knowledge of Truenas and complete lack of knowledge with enterprise class servers. Anyways, lets give it a shot, right.
My goal is to simply be able to move my current Truenas Scale setup from my HP Z600 to the Dell R730xd. That's it. Unfortunately, my assumption that this was going to be a simple task (based on some videos I saw) was incorrect, to say the least.
These are the specs: Dell PowerEdge R730XD 12LFF 2SFF 2x E5-2667v4 3.2GHz =16 Cores 384GB H730 4xRJ45 (received) Dell P2R3R PERC HBA330 12G SAS HBA Mini Mono Controller (on order) Dell 064PJ8 Intel X550-T4 Quad-Port 10GB RJ-45 Network (on order, but possible frivolous purchase)
Somehow last night, based on more videos and posts I read, I believed that I could somehow change the H730 raid controlled to work in HBA mode. So, I went ahead and basically tore apart my existing HP machine, pulled all the drives and installed them into the Dell server. 4 x 20tb 3.5 drives into bays 1-4 in the front and one 2.5 SSD into one of the 2 rear bays for the operating system. Fired up the jet fighter (aka server) and after installing some ear plugs, began my venture into iDrac. WTH, I had no clue where to begin and became quickly frustrated and overwhelmed. So, while searching through different menus I was googling what each meant. My first instinct was to see if the Dell server was recognizing my drives so I finally found the menu the showed attached drives, and nothing! It said no drives found. Now what! Well, this is where the lack of common sense starts to take effect. Turns out that I installed the drives incorrectly. The side of the caddy is marked with screw holes at SAS and SATA points, so I went ahead and decide to install the drives using the SATA screw holes. This was obviously the wrong way. When the caddies were fully inserted and locked into place the drives sat about 1/2 inch away from the rear backplane connectors. So they weren't even connected!!!! Talk about a rookie mistake. Thankfully I can laugh about it now. I never did figure out how to change controller to HBA mode.
Anyways, to not drag this story on too much longer, it was getting really late and I decided to just wait for the HBA330 to arrive before I went any further so I pulled all the drives out of the Dell and reinstalled them, back into the HP, as I needed the server up and running.
Hopefully this won't be too difficult to switch over to the new Dell server, but there are a couple of concerns/questions?

1. Other posts have mentioned that Truenas Scale doesn't work very well with H730 switched to HBA mode which is why I purchased an HBA330. Is there anything else to do after installing the HBA330 or will it just work as is?
   
2. This Dell server was listed with coming with 4 x 1Gb ethernet ports daughter card, but actually came with 2 x 1Gb ports and 2 x 10Gb ports. Not sure if this is correct or not but for some reason when I plug a standard ethernet cable into the 1Gb ports they go in and click/lock in place, but when I plug the same cable into any of the 10Gb port they go in but don't lock into place. They just fall out. Am I missing something? Is this normal or are they broken or do 10Gb ports require a different connector. I've never worked with 10G ports before, but assumed they were the same as 1Gb port.
   
3. Can I boot Truenas Scale OS directly from the rear 2.5 drives and will the system automatically recognize the OS to boot? I would like to reinstall Truenas Scale on two 2.5 SSD drives in mirror using the two rear drives and then import my settings as per instructions.
   

Guess that's all I have for now until the parts arrive and I roll the dice one more time. Hopefully with more luck.
Any help or tips would be greatly appreciated and please don't hesitate to ask me anything. I'll be happy to answer to the best of my knowledge. Cheers! :)

note the possibly popular. With women online at least it seems divided. also I've made posts about men being wrong too so its not just about internalized sexism or whatever.
I find most of the reasons are that women dress up and spend time doing their makeup are owed payment for their time.
Like no. You want to look good because you want someone yo want you. How is it any different that the man doing work to get a date. Whatever the work is. If he pays for the date then its because he wants the girl badly. If he's not paying for you clearly you aren't worth it. So yes it goes with men too..women don't owe you anything just because you chose to pay for the date. Men don't owe you because you chose to dress up..
Another one "women are putting themselves at risk..." A risk you chose. Him paying for dinner isn't gonna offset him probably murdering you after. That's just stupid.
"I'll be the one carrying the baby and off work. He needs to prove he has the ability to care for me". Did you even talk? Whatever he doesn't want kids? Plus unless your pregnancy is bad a lot are only off work for about 4 months. After that paternity leave is not only for women.
Anyone can stay home with the kid if need be.

Just a little vent post I suppose since I'm sure my friends are sick of hearing about this lol. But I (24F) met someone (27M) on Hinge. We texted for a couple days then he asked me on a picnic. It went super well, and I immediately was really into him and I knew he liked me too. I felt so drawn to him, he's very interesting and unlike anyone I've ever met.
Two days later he asked if I wanted to go up to the mountains where his friends have a house, I went and it was mostly really nice. I was so happy going to the grocery store with him to get snacks. We were watching Jurassic Park and apparently I commented something endearing because he laughed and said that made him want to kiss me. We kissed a bit then cuddled very nicely the rest of the movie. Then after we started having sex and it was slightly awkward. His...dick... was really big lol and it kind of hurt and I cried a little bit. Because idk sex already puts me in an emotionally fragile state, and then the added pain just made me need to lay there for a minute and cry. He immediately stopped and we ended up just cuddling til we fell asleep but he seemed uncomfortable which is understandable. Then the next morning we had slightly better sex, it felt good for both of us and emotionally it was good, but neither of us came.
Anyways the rest of the morning he seemed more distant, and he didn't sit close to me or kiss me goodbye or anything. As we parted ways he asked if I wanted to go to the river in the next few days though and I (maybe too eagerly ugh) said yes. Over the next few days he stopped initiating texts and kept leaving me on delivered. I did text him say sorry for crying during sex, and that I have been feeling stressed from exams lately. He said "You scared me so bad" lolll... After that I wasn't texting him much because I knew something was off, but I did ask if he still wanted to go to the river soon and he said he was busy but he would keep me posted. Finally after a few days of him not saying anything I sent him a message. I basically just told him that maybe he's busy or needs space, but it seemed like he didn't want to go to the river anymore and that it was fine if he didn't feel a connection. I said I liked being around him a lot but that I would get over my feelings of course and that I hoped he would have a good summer... And he read it but didn't respond which I expected.
So I guess it's pretty clear that things are over between us, probably due to the awkward sex. I know that with the right person it wouldn't matter but my heart is crying a little because I just was so interested in him... When we hung out I would just find myself watching him do mundane things like make coffee or cut bread and I felt enraptured. I am tearing up as I type this :( I think there were some incompatibilities between us anyway. I was always asking him about himself and to be honest he didn't seem very interested in me, and also he didn't really try to make me feel good during sex. He doesn't seem very good with emotions and I am kind of an emotional person. But I just wish we could have gotten to know each other a little better. He's autistic and there's a high chance I am too. Personally I need a bit of time around a new person to figure out how to act around them and to feel comfortable. I wish we would have had a more casual second date without sex.
I just feel so sad which is funny because a year ago I had just been cheated on by my boyfriend of 5.5 years. I seriously never thought I could be hurt again romantically or even really be this interested in someone. I guess a positive aspect to this experience is that I feel way more over my ex than before. I was getting really excited about this new guy that I stopped caring if I would ever see my ex again. And I know theoretically that I don't want to be with someone who doesn't want me, and that what's meant for me will not miss me or whatever... but I feel sad. I am prone to limerence so it makes sense. I know this is probably too intense of feelings for two dates. It's only been like 2 weeks and I know I will feel better in a couple weeks but also part of me feels like I will always have a crush on this guy. Ah oh well! Sorry this is a crazy long post but it did help to write it all out. :)

Friends, I too was a student in cornerstone, 90-94, and around in various capacities while I was in college etc. while I was at tfca for many years post college , i left the church for reasons unrelated to this report several years ago. I have felt a wide range of emotions and bewilderment after reading the report and realizing that so many things I thought were true, were not. I have heard a lot of anger expressed in this Reddit, and find it unsurprising bc anger is part of grief and I too have felt a fair amount of anger over what happened. I do think that they are many lessons to be learned going forward from this, and I have been mulling them over in my head for a while. Eg it was always against church policy for Jeff to be taking kids on solo overnight trips, but he was doing it anyway. So while Jeff definitely knew that was against the policy, perhaps the church needed to better educate the congregation about its policies so that when Jeff asked to take the kid on a trip, the parent would know that Jeff was violating a church policy. That is obviously a reflection with the benefit of hindsight, as well as several other sexual abuse prevention trainings I have been a part of. That being said, I feel like this Reddit has really gone astray into looking for conspiracy when there is none, and randomly targeting a variety of Tfca staff and lay people. Eg attacking a member of the current worship team for her alleged parentage, attacks on vestry members, and attacks on John Yates and Sam Ferguson. Yes, with the benefit of hindsight and also changing societal expectations more could have been done. But there has been zero evidence presented that suggests that any of these people had knowledge of Jeff’s abusive activity while he was a Tfca. There are definitely unanswered questions (eg why aren’t the 2015 disclosures discussed in the report). As noted in the report, JY did a lot right when the first abuse victim came to him in 2007. He immediately believed him, flew Jeff up to dc and confronted him, and informed his current employer. He did not launch a full on investigation, and again, with the benefit of hindsight, that was a missed opportunity, but he responded pastorally to the young man sitting in front of him. John Yates has been transparent, sharing his journals with the investigator, etc, and sharing his heart at least at the one meeting I listened to. I am concerned that indulging in this angry off with their heads mentality is not helpful to anyone’s healing. The only head I am calling for is Jeff’s. Perhaps more will come to light that suggests others should be on this list. But I think it is important to remember that on this threads we are largely anonymously attacking volunteer church members, and that makes me very uncomfortable.

Awesome. Especially all of you in this subreddit. I just wanted to thank everyone for being so nice and optimistic on the few recent posts I’ve made. I always hear about how Reddit is a bad place or whatever but this subreddit proves that wrong. So happy that we have a great fan base without the toxic negativity or just unwanted mean comments. It’s okay to get criticism or have a critical discussion but the other stuff is kinda dumb if you think about it. So anyway thx a lot for making this album wait even better for me and I hope I have done my small part for the Starset Society 🤘 rock on MFS

Hi rails
first I want you all to tell that I developed personally years long in Laravel & Ruby on Rails. If you ask me, Ruby on Rails beats any framework by miles in terms of developer happiness and productivity. Also the community is a little bit nicer focusing on best practices (sure Laravel does that to), giving me kind of a unspoken mantra that everybody follows - the love for the language itself. Rails gives me also more of a collective true open source mindset compared to Laravel where decisions are potentially based on the wellbeing of their Laravel LLC.
So years went by programming Laravel at first I started to dislike the verbosity and the fact that everything is built on another framework basically - the import statements made me sick and made me love Rails even more in comparison. When I started learning Rails the "not so shiny documentation" always pushed me to dig deeper into the underlying functionality which made me a way better developer - so I guess: thanks for that rails!
Anyway I digress, as I really like rails I am starting to wonder how sustainable it actually is outside of the developer mindest itself. There was always one question that bothered me "can I find affordable people for my small business if I need them?". As big tech companies are built on rails they will always have a financial leverage compared to my small shop regarding acquiring new talents. If I search for rails jobs in my country there is only a handful of jobs available but what is more concerning is that those posts are always six months old or even older, letting me think that they can't find anybody for what they offer. On the other side I can find a php developer on an afternoon in a coffeeshop. This overall opens one serious business question "am I risking the growth of my business by using rails"? So I can't answer this question as this are potential future problems but I thought I will ask you guys how legit this thoughts at the end are, in hope to get some insights from people that already went that path.
Let me know what you think or maybe even have experienced yourself!

I’m only a teenager, 17 to be exact but my 18th birthday is growing closer. Anyways recently my parents seem extremely pleased with me and it makes me happy. I’ve been doing well in my schoolwork and I’m gonna graduate highschool next year.
It feels really good and I’m very happy with myself. That’s all that’s the post.

Ivaxa has been well known for his high BPM stream plays along with his obscene singletapping skills over the course of a few weeks at the time of writing. His most notable achievement is his S rank on Deceit [pishi’s Extra] +DT (Score) (Replay). However there is some unusual behavior that Ivaxa has that should be looked into. This thread will look into quite a few cases of these weird findings.
As of the current date, May 16th, 2024, we have collected enough information to submit our public review of Ivaxa’s activity. We are asking the osu! staff and other independent researchers to validate our information and proof-check every single aspect of it. If our findings would be proven to be incorrect and/or not substantial - that's completely fine. Our goal is not to just blindly accuse but to establish the truth.
This document contains currently collected information about Ivaxa, his scores, profiles, and potential connections to other “alt” accounts in the game. We, as an independent team, are trying to establish the legitimacy or lack thereof of said player.
As always, harassment of any of the people mentioned/involved in the report is inappropriate. Please be civil when partaking in the discussion.
Replays, and VODs can be found in a google drive at the end of the thread so you can investigate and see moments listed in the thread yourself.
But first, here's a few things to consider:

1. Ivaxa’s mouse is a HyperX Pulsefire Haste 2, he allegedly plays on 800 DPI with a 0.62x sens multiplier on osu!. The only reason as to why it’s alleged is because of his recent streams, his sensitivity seems higher than it actually is.
2. He plays with a Sayu O3C keypad that runs at 8000hz (Peripheral information can be found from Ivaxa’s Twitch channel.)
3. He is able to singletap 191 BPM streams consistently.
4. Ivaxa used to be a DT aim player, not much of a stream player until recently.
5. The player does have skill, however he may be using some sort of outside assistance software-wise like aim assist or relax hacks.
6. All replays in this thread were inspected using Circleguard.
7. Most of the information down below was conducted in the empirical (perceived) sense, so take all of it with a grain of salt.

Section one: Replays

There are a few moments within Ivaxa’s recent replays that felt unusual or very strange; mostly unusual edge hits, but also weird UR bar behavior.
The Deceit +DT
There are a few things to mention about this score. The first is an unusual UR bar behavior from 91076 ms (~1 minute 31 seconds) to 93123 ms (~1 minute 33 seconds). The UR bar looks like this in the end. This type of UR bar behavior is often found in 125 hz keyboards with a map that has a BPM that is a multiple of 125 (125 BPM, 250 BPM, 375 BPM, etc.). However, Ivaxa doesn’t use a 125hz keyboard or keypad, he uses one that is rated at 8000hz. This is rather unusual since this type of UR is only found in this section of the map only. Also, if he were to play on a 125hz keyboard/keypad, the type of UR that was shown above would be all over the map since the Deceit with DT is mostly 375 BPM.
The second would be his aim, particularly at around 1885 combo, his cursor shakes at an abnormal magnitude from the rest of the map. This shake can be caused by nerves, tapping strain of the left hand, or a mix of both. But, Ivaxa’s alleged sensitivity is so low that the shake that has been shown in the replay is either really hard to do or impossible.
Gotta go Fast +DTSO
This score has one thing that is quite suspicious. at 47582 ms (~48 seconds) into the map, an awkward edge hit is found where he over-aimed and seemingly snapped back to the circle. This kind of edge hit is something that a normal osu! player wouldn’t be able to hit entirely, especially at the speed at which the map is being played at. Another edge hit can be found in the same map at 28852 ms (~29 seconds), where the cursor doesn’t naturally curve at the end, instead snapping to the edge of the circle. Both cases may allude to the usage of some sort of aim assist.
Metal Crusher +DT
There are two things to note about this score, the first is some unusual cursor movement at the ending section of the map. Ivaxa’s cursor slightly follows the slider at 59128 ms (~59 seconds), and another right after at 60400 ms (~one minute). Movement like this paired with the speed at which the map is being played at just seems unusual/suspicious.
There are also five edge hits within the map, four out of the five edge hits are at the very edge of a circle. The probability of hitting these types of edge hits is rather low, especially when there are four of them in one map.
Edge Hit #1: https://i.imgur.com/g3VlDoz.png
Edge Hit #2: https://i.imgur.com/vpTKuw7.png
Edge Hit #3: https://i.imgur.com/oQiEwVR.png
Edge Hit #4: https://i.imgur.com/nJyVbiq.png
Edge Hit #5: https://i.imgur.com/MN9MfwN.png
Sendan Life +DTHD
There is something to be said about some of the 100’s that Ivaxa is hitting. More specifically some 100’s within a few of the maps that have been observed so far are very near the barrier of being a 300 hit regardless of whether the note is early or late (https://i.imgur.com/cxFSdjf.png, https://i.imgur.com/bHLurZn.png). The sayu is precise enough to actually hit these types of 100’s, however it feels like these have occurred too often, so much so that this play has half of the 100’s in the map has these “edge 100’s,” for a lack of a better term. There are also two 100’s (100 #1 and 100 #2) that have been hit at exactly the same lateness/timing.
100 #1: https://i.imgur.com/KR4BhWe.png
100 #2: https://i.imgur.com/pzg7zMn.png
100 #3: https://i.imgur.com/z5qIocV.png
100 #4: https://i.imgur.com/pgEBsKK.png
100 #5: https://i.imgur.com/rQ50Uhs.png
100 #6: https://i.imgur.com/oMkQ3O5.png

Section Two: Twitch Streams

The two pieces of information down below are more focused on his single tapping skills, along with some weird/suspicious moments during his stream.
Stream title: #18 #2PL we back boys PL/ENG
At 15:37, Ivaxa is seen to be double tapping 270 bpm streams even though he S ranked the Deceit with DT around three days after said stream (390 BPM). At 49:15 mins of the same stream: he is seen to singletap 191 BPM streams, probably because he was warm when playing at his point.
Stream title: #17 #2PL Yomi yori 3 mod pass happening right now wtf,
On March 31st, 2024, on the VOD where he S ranked The Deceit +DT, at the end of the VOD at 2:58:42 Ivaxa is seen singletapping a 390 BPM burst. After which he paused the game and blamed Steam notifications. Despite the bottom half of his monitor being visible on stream through the webcam, where no steam notifications or pop-ups are visible, he then opened Steam to "change notifications settings.'' After allegedly changing the settings, his cursor trajectory on the visible parts of the monitor on stream tells us that he moved the mouse from the top most left corner, while usually Steam settings are located in a pop-up window at the center of the screen. Afterwards His stream allegedly "crashed."
To see the moment, play the following .mp4 file: 20240331 #17 #2PL Yomi yori 3 mod pass happening right now wtf Part 3 and go to the near end.
Stream title: #9 #2PL if i want to i'll farm req closed
On April 7th, 2024 Ivaxa showed on the osu! Game discord server that he is able to singletap 191 BPM (better picture of the graph), however six days later after the message, on his stream on April 13th, 2024 Ivaxa showed that he was able to singletap PoNo’s Yomi Yori 220 BPM streams at the end. This type of BPM jump in such a short amount of time can only be reasoned with by hardware abuse via rapid trigger. Either that, or some sort of relax hack that assists the player in tapping.

Section Three: Multiaccounting

There are many pieces of information that suspect that Ivaxa is multiaccounting, however there is currently no concrete evidence on whether or not he is indeed multiaccounting. Please keep this in mind when reading this section of the thread.
The Mulitiaccount & Play Count Graphs
Pipecat is the suspected multiaccount. First of all, both Pipecat and Ivaxa are placed 1st and 2nd on the osu!mania leaderboard in Lower Silesian Voivodeship, Poland (This is done by using osu! subdivide nations). Both play count graphs also seem to compensate for each other as of 2024, April 4th (the graph for Ivaxa has been warped in order to have a better visualization).
Time-pp Scatter Chart & Best Performances
The same thing happens with their Best Performance Time-pp Scatter Chart from ameobea/osu!track (Pipecat's Mania Chart and Ivaxa's Mania Chart non warped). Both graphs seem to compensate for each other, especially at around the month of March, as of 2024, April 5th (again, Ivaxa's chart has been warped for better visualization of score submissions).
Speaking of pp, both accounts have similar maps in their best performances list (Ivaxa is on the left, Pipecat on the right). If you want to see more, just check their mania profiles.
This may ask the reason as to why Ivaxa hasn’t played any vsrg (Vertical Scrolling Rhythm Game), and yet his performance in mania is abnormal for his time played. As seen from the play count graph from above, Ivaxa would’ve most likely played mania first on the Pipecat account, and then proceeded to play mania again on the other.
Names/Naming Scheme & Last Seen
Their naming scheme can also be taken into account as, Ivaxa’s name was inspired by Vaxei, and Pipecat was inspired by Whitecat.
It is also worth noting that Ivaxa and Pipecat’s Last Seen times are near each other, being more or less one hour apart from each other.
https://i.imgur.com/uVucqXr.png
https://i.imgur.com/lYh4Gbb.png

Section Four: Misc, additional “facts,” and Speculations

This section is dedicated to the additional miscellaneous information and our speculation formed from the data we discovered during the process of the investigation. These entries are not verbosely written due to us not finding enough evidence/information to make them included in the previous sections.
For ease of understanding the entry's level of absurdity, we marked them with color tags. The marking process for each entry was completely subjective so even the most absurd ones could be a potential aid for independent investigators/osu! staff as an additional lead where we “hit the wall.”
Fact: Could be used as a potential lead
Fact + Assumption: Not substantial enough to be included in previous sections/Assumption
Pure Speculation: Completely speculative fact/information
Fact: BayOfEvil (Ivaxa’s old username), does have an osu!report on it, although the report isn’t very helpful. One of the thread's replies includes a Discord recording with Ivaxa playing as “proof” of him being legit. This should be investigated further (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cVQDdw1SSLs).
Fact: Ivaxa’s Mania score on Ne uchi +DT was set 22 days after his no-mod score.
Fact: In Pipecat's osu profile a discord server can be found (https://discord.gg/jkMydV3PTB), upon searching "Ivaxa" the only two mentions of the name is from the user Pipecat (https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/577365869949354025/1225631393820708914/image0.jpg?ex=6621d52f&is=660f602f&hm=e3589cb93e9ffb2b7c0ef7ffbdedcc3b09df919a7082d11468035ff4f4f6e65e&).
Fact: Guitar to Kodou to Aoi Hoshi: Edge hit at the very edge at 202358 ms (~3 minutes 22 seconds) (https://i.imgur.com/PAWsyh7.png) Similar to the edge hit on FUCK YOU.
Fact + Assumption: FUCK YOU: Very erratic cursor movement at 4485 ms (~4.5 seconds) (https://i.imgur.com/mkRw4Ki.png) combined with his sensitivity and the map’s speed, this is basically impossible. Also he's been under-aiming a lot in this map but that might just be me. There is also an edge hit at the very edge at 60301 ms (~1 min) (https://i.imgur.com/GFxZctS.png), which can be questioned.
Fact + Assumption: Gotta go Fast HDDTHR: The UR bar is acting the same way that was observed with the deceit score from above (Gotta go Fast: https://i.imgur.com/ywA8XAu.png, Deceit: https://imgur.com/cbUtzya). With both maps being 375 BPM with DT, Ivaxa may or may not have used the same method of cheating if he is.
Fact + Assumption: Stream title: #18 #2PL we back boys PL/ENG, at 15:37 mins, Ivaxa is seen to be double tapping 270 bpm streams even though he S ranked the Deceit with DT around three days after said stream (390 BPM).
Fact + Assumption: A Thread created by sampierat on twitter: https://vxtwitter.com/sampierat/status/1775216723743875457?s=20

• https://imgur.com/pC3DBMq

Pure Speculation: During a congregation, several people have noted/proposed that Ivaxa may or may not be using three keys in order to stream higher bpm’s, using a software that alternates the middle key (since he plays ring-index) between key 1 and key 2 to insure that nothing is suspicious with his tapping count.
Pure Speculation: We condone an anonymous survey inside the mania community, including some of the top players, regular 4k, 7k, and 8k players, and some tournament organizers. Most of the participants agree that Ivaxa’s progression and improvement curve is abnormal.
Pure Speculation: Stream title: #18 #2PL we back boys PL/ENG, within the first hour of the stream, Ivaxa is seen to have completely lost his aim (44:46 min), even though he nearly fc'd Brazil on Fiery's Extreme with HDHRDT ten days prior to the stream. Although this evidence may not be as substantial as the others because of retry spamming Brazil.
Pure Speculation: The earliest known screenshots of Ivaxa grinding The Deceit Pishi's Extra, was on 2023, December 22nd (https://twitter.com/Ivaxaosu/status/1738245663631024453, https://twitter.com/Ivaxaosu/status/1738268599129632811, He later achieved an S rank on 2024, March 31st. He would've grinded the map for the past 3 months, however his play count seems to not reflect the grind, only having 237 plays as of 2024, April 5th (https://i.imgur.com/dg4HdSl.png).
Pure Speculation: https://youtu.be/Isp233epRAA the hands, and tapping technique may be similar to Ivaxa.
Pure Speculation: Potential lead/connection between Ivaxa and Pipecat could be found via steam accounts.
Ivaxa’s has two steam accounts (Both Steam profiles were sent to aknzx at one point):

• Main account https://steamcommunity.com/profiles/76561199027517248
• Alt (thanks for Ivaxa posting it on one of the discord servers) https://steamcommunity.com/profiles/76561199081700184
  • Has a VAC ban on it
• Pipecat’s steam account:
  • “Main account” https://steamcommunity.com/profiles/76561199389486073

Pure Speculation: Additional platforms related to Pipecat:

• Their youtube channel https://www.youtube.com/@pipe_cat (We tried to use it compare Ivaxa’s voice and Pipecat’s voices already, not enough information)
• Their GD (GeometryDash) profile: https://gdbrowser.comNotPipeCat

Pure Speculation: Pipecat’s Windows username https://imgur.com/a/DCgtC82 (from this video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mNTTpSl1hHo ) If it could be proven that Ivaxa’s real name is Krzys, it could be a potential lead (despite it being a very popular name in Poland).
Pure Speculation: Pipecat is recording videos on his Youtube channel using both a PC and a Laptop. The PC is running Windows 11, and the Laptop is running Windows 10. This Could be a potential lead.

Verdict

Ivaxa’s single tapping speed is very abnormal, especially considering that he was able to stream 220 BPM in just six days, starting from 191 BPM, all singletapped. His aim on some maps feels weird, and some edge hits are questionable in terms of legitimacy. The incident on his stream on March 31st of this year also felt suspicious and weirdly timed, as if he was covering something up. And Pipecat’s graphs line up in such a way that it seemingly compensated for Ivaxa’s play count, and pp-scatter chart. From the information that was gathered about Ivaxa, there is a likelihood that the player is cheating, via aim assist, partial relax, or a mix of both.
It is suggested/encouraged that you look into this yourself.

Files and Documents

For Ivaxa stream mp4’s, each “part” is in one hour segments (because untwitch). So part 1 would be the first hour of a stream, part 2 would be the second hour of a stream, etc. There are some parts where it didn’t download the full hour, so be aware of that.
We’ve also included one of the “VOD analyzer” test result files, which includes cursor positions from an analyzed stream segment (#11 #2PL 1.3k pp achieved). It was a completely custom-coded solution that analyzed the video frame by frame but it wasn’t used during the investigation, so we are unsure about the accuracy of the cursor detection.
Input data:
Approximate osu! playfield area on a 1920x1080 monitor:

-Top left of playfield area: (384, 126) -Bottom right of playfield area: (1536, 990) 

Ivaxa's Approximate playfield area on stream:

-Top left of playfield area: (329, 120) -Bottom right of playfield area: (1283, 835) 

Analyzed segment: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1UOceGo6udbGH0p7jbZKvst4wqsIVWIWF/view?usp=drive_link
Google Drive: https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1LTDABXcFHSJnk5KNfHWdH1XPJwcdf4S1?usp=sharing
Streams Timeline

Date	Stream Title	VOD Links
March 20th 2024	we back boys	https://drive.google.com/drive5/folders/1xFtwoU82d_qAKPyp7qEm2v4JVd8m-PDF
March 31st 2024	Yomi Yori 3 mod pass	https://drive.google.com/drive5/folders/1PJQOhrao4CFsaeLg4wcwFPtBybdocAnB
March 31st 2024	1.3k pp achieved	https://drive.google.com/file/d/1UOceGo6udbGH0p7jbZKvst4wqsIVWIWF/view
April 1st 2024	play game and then deceit farming	https://drive.google.com/drive5/folders/1TsTmiNzDRIMpFn4lmUzwzS6n3AjyE3rY
April 9th 2024	Yomi Yori DT Farming Right now	N/A
April 13th 2024	singletap practice	N/A

This is gonna be a long one, but I need to vent and am “happy” I finally know what’s wrong. If you don’t wanna see my vent, please scroll down and look at my questions
PLEASE, IF YOU’RE READING THIS, GIVE ME ANY ADVICE THAT HELPED YOU WITH SIBO/SIFO
DISCLAIMER: I don’t wanna repeat how useless doctors were during all of my injuries/diseases, so I’m just gonna put it here. I visited the ER and hospital probably 40 times, ended up with either „psychosomatic, making it up, it’s your fault, stop wasting out time, you’re irrational” every single time.
I started anorexia recovery in October 2023 (am normal weight now) and had many letdowns. In December I had a back injury and was in bed for a month, couldn’t move a limb. Took many NSAIDs and after finding a good physiotherapeut I got better.
Right after that m stomach started burning and I got H pylori. Two months of no luck with doctors, I found a single gastro out of 14 I visited who trusted me, gave me abx and I was cured in 2 weeks. I took PPIs the whole 2-3 months, which caused my SIBO.
No doctor helped me again, and I also got an insatiable hunger and carbs cravings. I got a blood test and found out I had insulin resistance. - how is that possible? I’ve only been eating for ~5 months, this can’t be right. I felt defeated and accepted that I’ll never eat “normally” again and will have to do low carb/keto forever. But then…
It dawned on me. SIFO. Candida. Candida causes high blood sugar… carb cravings… insatiable hunger. I read some of the posts here and I felt happy. I know it’s bad - as bad as SIBO, but I finally know I actually “don’t” have insulin resistance from food, only from Candida! And once I cure it, it’ll go away.
So now I’m here, ready to kill SIBO and SIFO. And get my life back. In 5 months I’m starting uni and I will be cured by then. I do not accept any other outcomes. I am determined. If I have to starve for a month to kill those bastards, I will. I kept messing around until today, now I have hope for being 100% healthy because once I kill SIBO and SIFO, insulin resistance WILL go away and I will be happy again. No more crying. No more defeat. I will win.
SYMPTOMS (idk which one is caused by SIBO/SIFO)

• mild oral thrush
• extreme 24/7 bloating
• extremely extreme hunger and cravings (wake up at night)
• depression (no more, I’ll kick its ass)
• mild brain fog
• mild constipation

I need your help

1. What antifungals work on every strain? My country doesn’t do yeast test so I can’t do a resistance test. I can get my hands on fluconazole, nystatin and maybe other options if you have a good recommendation.
   
2. Antifungals or herbs? Which is more effective? If herbs, what combo do you recommend?
   
3. Biofilm - would NAC and Kirkman be enough?
   
4. Diet - MEVY, do ammounts matter? Vegetables in ulimited ammounts or restricted to grams like SIBO low FODMAP?
   
5. Fasting - would a prolonged fast (7-14 days) kill Candida if I took some herbs while on it, like ADP oregano, ginger, allicin, and tumeric?
   
6. Probiotics safe for SIBO and SIFO both? S Boulardii is one of them, is L reuteri and Rhamnosus as well? How about Colostrum?
   
7. What Vitamins/Supplements will help fight SIBO/SIFO and boost immunity? And what dosage? I read about large dosage of vit C - how large?
   
8. Should I take Metformin to adress IR for now and stop when I’m cured? Will it help anyhow with SIBO/SIFO?
   

9. Wish me luck!
Please know I’m from EU so supplements from the USA are unreachable for me. If you’re from the EU, please share the doctor who helped you!!

Hello everyone! Here's some necessary context:
Recently, my best friend (about a decade of friendship) told me that her older sister is having a baby. My bestie and her whole family are super happy, and I am too!!! My best friend and I just graduated from college so for her this is the first time someone close to her has been pregnant, and she is super excited to be an aunt.
I have met her older sister many times and I am very fond of her, but I only see her when my bestie invites me to something and her family is also there. I probably see her a couple of times a year, during holiday parties, dinner, etc, we are kind of like family friends in that way - I have sis-in-question's number but I only text her to ask what she is getting her sister (my bestie) for Christmas, that kind of thing. Of course we are very friendly and chat when we see each other though.
Back to the point of this post. I obviously want to help my friend's sister in any way I can. It just so happens that I love to cook and sew so I was thinking I will definitely make her some food and some easy freezer meals as her due date approaches. I was also thinking of maybe making some clothes for the little one once we know more about the gendesize or making some decorations/toys/blankets for the nursery. My only concern is I don't know at what point would making things as gifts be weird or too much...I definitely think making them some food is helpful (ofc I will ask about preferences, allergies, etc) but is making clothes or things for the nursery overstepping ??
I don't have any siblings and my own family and I have never been very close so I don't really have any experience with the etiquette in these situations. I am so happy for my friend's sister and her family, I just want to help them out in any way I can but I don't want to be weird or make her uncomfortable. Maybe I should ask the sister if she would want me to make anything before just giving her stuff? What do you guys think. Pls help.

Hey all,
So, i've been using TTP for about a month and a half. Due to some work relates travel and the struggles mentioned below, i've only been able to complete the first three sections (quant basics, CR identify the assumption, and linear and quadratic equations) since starting.
I have absolutely no math background and am having to build from the bottom up when it comes to learning everything.
I did well on the quant basics and great on CR assumption chapter tests. Then came along quadratic equations.
I went through the chapter, took notes, did fairly well on practice problems, and thought I was learning it relatively well. Took the first easy chapter test. 53%.
I was discouraged, felt stupid, and didn't want to continue for a couple days. Once I garnered the motivation to continue, I reviewed my mistakes and took all the tests.
I ended up averaging about 70% on easy tests, 55% on medium, and 38% on hard tests. Again, I felt dumb. I knew I couldn't move onto the next chapter and had to spend more time on this. This meant daily reshuffling of tasks to continue learning past material, which didn't feel great.
But, through constant reviewing of mistakes, focusing on weak points, and not letting self doubt take over, i've made a large improvement in about 5 days.
I made a custom chapter test with 40 questions from easy, medium, and hard test banks. Although I could remember some answers if I saw them, I never allowed myself to peek at them before I had solved the problem on re-tests as to not ruin the learning process.
The test gave me 15 easy questions, 15 medium questions, and 10 hard questions. I ended up getting 15/15 on easy, 12/15 on medium, and 7/10 on hard.
While this is clearly far from mastery, I'm incredibly pleased with my progress. I believe within another few days I will be able to consider myself as having mastered this chapter.
I make this post to say that if I can do it, anyone can. Good luck!

https://imgur.com/a/gwF6TE5
The first photo was two years ago today heavy in substance use. The last one is the most recent photo of me on my birthday.
I used alcohol to cope with my mental illnesses OCD and ADHD. I had reached out for help for years and while it kept me alive, I had issues every day.
I put the drinks down and I got off meds that were not in good combo with alcohol. My psychiatrist is amazing, quitting the booze helped my mental health, and now I am coping in much healthier ways.
I have also lost over 50 pounds and I feel so much better. I remember the first few months I never thought I would make it this far. But I did. And you can too.
Thank you to this sub for being honestly my primary resource in getting sober. Reading stories here and relating helped me so much in those early months.
I’m getting married in a month. I am so happy. I never thought I would make it this far, and especially without alcohol!!
IWNDWYT 🩷🩷🩷

[I'm over 18, you must be over 18, and our characters will be over 18.]

• About me:

~ I'm looking for a longterm writing partner, not a "quick scene".
~ My time zone is EST but I'm happy to write with anyone of any time zone.
~ I write in third person past tense.
~ I usually write four paragraphs minimum per reply but can easily go beyond that to breaking the Discord character limit.
~ I write as female main characters but I am happy to play various other side characters to help shape the world.
~ If you're interested in writing samples from me please see the pinned posts on my profile.

• What I'm looking for in a partner:

~ Writes as a male character and can also take on various side characters.
~ Writes in third person past tense.
~ Can give at least three paragraphs per reply.
~ Helps shape the plot by bringing ideas and suggestions.
~ Has time to respond to the roleplay at least every couple of days.
~ Has knowledge of the fandoms and characters they're picking.
~ ~ ~

• Roleplay info:

~ I'm looking for writing partners that want to play the male role in any of the pairings listed below. I'd like there to be romance but I prefer slow burn as we build the world and plot around the characters. Slice of life type of events are nice but I'd also like action and adventure, for the characters to face challenges and adversaries together. Mixing in angst and drama, anything along the lines of hurt/comfort, is always fun too.
~ Usually I'd like whatever plot we decide to play out to be canon divergent, different than the actual storyline and something of our own design, while still keeping the structure of the world and keeping any canon characters present true to who they are.
~ In some cases I have pre written intro posts that follow a loose plot that we can further shape to our needs, if you're interested in those ask! (I do not have these for every listed pairing.)
~ I'm open to AUs so bring those ideas if you have them!
~ ~ ~
[Fandoms & Pairings]
& = If you want to do this one bring some ideas.
Hogwarts Legacy/Harry Potter:

• Ominis Gaunt x My Female OC
  
• Ominis Gaunt & Sebastian Sallow x My Female OC
  
• Severus Snape x My Female OC
  
• Your Male OC x My Female OC &
  

Yu Yu Hakusho:

• Hiei x My Female OC

Naruto:

• Shikamaru Nara x My Female OC
  
• Sasuke Uchiha x My Female OC
  

Star Trek:

• Your Male OC x Seven of Nine

Genshin Impact:

• Neuvillette x My Female OC
  
• Zhongli x My Female OC
  
• Diluc x My Female OC
  
• Xiao x My Female OC
  
• Your Male OC x Raiden Ei &
  

Avatar the Last Airbender:

• Zuko x My Female OC &

The Walking Dead:

• Daryl Dixon x My Female OC &
  
• Shane Walsh x My Female OC &
  

Dear Gambling Addiction,
I love to write so I thought I would write you a letter today. It has been almost 16 years since we last met, and to be honest, I don't miss you one bit.
There was a time when you were the only thing that mattered. I would do anything for you. Lie, cheat, steal, not eat, not sleep, or anything really. When I say you were the only thing, you were. I was obsessed with you. You plagued my thoughts and made me feel things that were uncomfortable.
Prior to being introduced to you, I was a moral person. I liked helping people and I was happy. I had friends, good relationships with my family, people trusted me, I worked, and I had money to pay my bills.
When you entered my life on my 21st birthday, I was partially intrigued but mostly I was frustrated. I lost $20 in about one minute on a craps table. I wanted my $20 back because I was not clear on why I lost the money. And the game of craps did not make sense to me. I thought if I was going to gamble again, I would play slots. So much easier and all I had to do was pull a handle.
In these very early stages, I did not think about you much. I believe though that you were there in my brain maybe trying to figure out how to get me more engaged. Maybe you were there attempting to entice me with needing to win back that $20.
A few years later, I found another friend to spend my time with and their name was cocaine. Well, living in Las Vegas when one could not sleep because of the drugs, the casinos were there with bright, flashing lights and the intrigue of winning money. So I met you again, and discovered that playing video poker machines was a great way to spend my time while high.
This was the start of our relationship that lasted quite a while.
In the beginning stages of my addiction with you, I was able to have some fun and enjoyed most of the times I had with you. Over time though, you consumed my soul. I did not care whether I lived or died. I just needed to be with you and I loved only you.
Our relationship lasted 14 years in total with breaks during some of that time, but even when I was not playing, I was still thinking about you. Wondering how I could get together with you again. Money was usually the main reason why I could not connect with you, but I also found it more challenging to find places to visit you.
Honestly, over time my relationship with you became rather tedious and boring. I started to feel like I might need to separate myself from you. I did not know why I was feeling this way, but on some level I just wanted something different for myself. I was tired of lying to people about you, and I was getting frustrated with being broke all the time. There was also this emptiness that even you could not fill. Most importantly, my real relationship with my husband was beginning to suffer. I did care about him and he really became more important than you. Sometimes I felt like I cheated on him with you. I do believe that my moral compass was questioning all that I was doing with you, and it just was beginning to not feel right.
On June 24, 2008 I decided to end my relationship with you. This was a very hard thing for me to do. After all, you were the only important thing in my life and I just wanted to be with you as much as possible. But on a sleepless night in June, I was watching my husband sleep and felt this overwhelming desire to be with him and not you. I felt like I could no longer lie to him about us. These feelings were quite overwhelming too almost to the point of if I didn't tell him about us, I might go crazy. There were just so many emotions running through me, and I decided to break it off with you. When he woke up, I told him everything about us.
June 24, 2008 was the best day and the hardest day of my life! I knew that once I told my husband everything that I would need to let you go. It was definitely a hard decision to make but I could not go on living or being with you.
The first few days of not having you in my life were a whirlwind of emotions. I do not recall another time when I cried so much. As I talked to others about us, I did start to feel better. And I went to meetings where others were talking about their own relationships with something similar to ours. The details were different but similar in that all of us wanted to end our relationships.
Over the weeks and months that followed, I continued to go to meetings and was learning to live without you. I had a lot to process and many feelings to address. Fortunately I had a lot of support from family and friends, but I did have to work on regaining their trust. When you cheat, people do not easily trust again. And I had to give up my finances to my husband. That was okay because I simply did not want to see you again or be tempted by you. Without access to cash or credit cards, it was just a little bit easier to let you go.
I also found that I needed to give up some control over certain things. First it was the finances. Then I discovered letting go was also needed. I started to let go of things that I could not control, and fixing the things I could. My focus was specifically on how to rebuild after a tumultuous relationship with you.
I worked every day to learn to live without you. I learned to feel my feelings and process them instead of covering them up by playing with you. I learned how to think more productively and to make goals for myself. I learned how to manage my finances and I was slowly regaining trust from my husband and others.
The work was hard but I kept going. I just did not want you in my life any longer, and no matter how I felt or what I thought, I was not going to re-engage with you. I was working a program of recovery and very proud of each day that I did not want to be with you. There were some days I thought about you, but it ended there. Just thoughts that were quickly replaced with all the positive benefits of not having you in my life.
All these years later, I still think about you but not in the ways you would want. I just have thoughts about how wonderful my life is without you. I have no urges to see you, and nothing that I can think of would bring me back to you. I have too much to lose now.
In a way, I do thank you for being in my life. I believe I am a better person for knowing you. You taught me what a person is capable of during a relationship with you, and with that, I can help others now. Our relationship also opened my mind to the human spirit and how resilient we really are. We can overcome great obstacles and learn to live without you or others like you.

I've compiled a lot of information from various sources, including some expert insights, to help answer the question: do email warmers really work?
First off, for those who are new to the concept, email warmers are tools or services designed to improve the deliverability of your emails by gradually increasing your email sending volume and engaging with your emails in a way that simulates natural email activity. This helps to build a good sender reputation with email service providers (ESPs) and ensures that your emails land in the recipient's primary inbox instead of the spam folder.
From what I've gathered, the effectiveness of email warmers seems to vary depending on several factors, such as the specific tool you use, the quality of the email content, and the target audience. Some users have reported significant improvements in their email deliverability after using email warmers, while others have had mixed results.
Here's a quick summary of what I found:

1. Email Warmup Tools: There are several email warmup tools available in the market, each with its own unique features and pricing. Some popular options include Mailwarm, Lemwarm, and Folderly. These tools help automate the email warming process by exchanging emails with other accounts in their network, thereby simulating natural email activity and improving your sender reputation.
   
2. Manual Warmup: Alternatively, you can also choose to manually warm up your email account by gradually increasing your email sending volume and engaging with your emails. This method requires more time and effort but can be more cost-effective.
   
3. Best Practices: Regardless of the method you choose, it's essential to follow best practices for email deliverability, such as sending high-quality content, personalizing your emails, and avoiding spammy behavior.
   

In conclusion, email warmers can be a valuable tool for improving your email deliverability, but they're not a magic solution. It's essential to combine the use of email warmers with best practices for email marketing to achieve the best results.
I'd love to hear from others who have used email warmers or have any additional insights to share. Let's keep the discussion going!
Note: This post is based on my research and should not be considered as professional or legal advice. Always do your own research and consult with experts when making decisions related to your email marketing strategy.
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I dont quite know how to feel about it. I did experience a lot of changes and am happy about it... but I cannot get away from the feeling of whether or not its working good or "underperforming" on me in comparison. I still very rarely see a girl looking back at me in the mirror and its making me increasingly dysphoric in the last weeks as well I now hit 1 year.
I know the whole process takes more time than just a year but I still would like to feel better about myself and be able to see myself in the mirror and not something that just triggers dysphoria most of the time. I´m also in general rather dissatisfied with myself and what or do or more so dont do. I tried getting myself to finally try out and learn makeup over and over again basically since coming out to myself almost 2 years ago and only finally started trying recently (admittedly though I had sever depressions up until 5 months ago)... But I am not really practicing experimenting regularly though... you know what would be needed to actually get better at it... Same with voice training though I am trying to get into that more but am yet to actually start practicing daily yet too :/ (Still at the point of going through resources and trying to figure out how and what to practice, planning etc.). And I am really beating myself up mentally because of it. Because I am not working towards the things I do want to learn and be able to do... and therefore do not progress and achieve anything. It leaves me being dissatisfied with myself and putting pressure on myself constantly to almost rly hating myself for it. For not doing enough, for not being enough (to myself). But the feeling of "not enough" persists even if I do work toward that goal by doing something by praciticing. And that makes it take even more energy and discourages me from pushing forwards... why push myself to it when in the end I still feel like "not enough". The feeling of I could (and therefore should) be at a different point further down in my transition, if I would just well do shit adds to the pressure and self hatred even more.
Thing is... I know the solution would be to stop all the negativity I inflict on myself especially when I did something and instead be happy/proud about and and take the motivation to do so again and again until in the end I reach my goal. But I struggle so hard to stop this way of thinking. I cannot get rid of it. Its so engrained into myself whenever I try working against it towards a more positive way of thinking the moment I stop actively enforcing it... the negativity comes crawling back like poison. And it feels like it follows me everywhere in life... also discouraging me from finally starting drawing, writing and reading again... and just in general working towards things and being able to feel like I am "enough".
Sorry that this post kinda wandered off from its starting point... I think to finish it off I should try and bring some positive thoughts into it. So yeah I am now 1 year on hormones and despite all of the above over all I am really happy about how things evolve. I am watching myself slowly become and reach my true self, the girl I want to be an am more and more step by step. I also managed to get through a hard time and I am in a better place now and it will still get better and in the end I will eventually reach my goals despite the negativity I am putting on myself.