English is not my first language, sorry for any mistakes.
I (18f) currently need money for college admission, my father is ready to sell our house for my education. But even after that it would be tough to manage everything. My grandparents(mother's side) never gave my mother her inheritance nor has they given funds for her marriage so I thought that maybe they can help us a bit(our relationship with them are okay-ish). For context my mother has two brothers both younger them her, the youngest is really lazy and was unemployed for a long time and my grandparents have always helped him he is Like the golden child(he doesn't have children and probably won't have due to fertility issues). The middle one lives in other city and has two girls both younger than me. Whenever my grandparents need anything or if they were sick my mother was always there for them and took care of them(more than their youngest son who lives with them). So back to the main part, I went to my grandparents place and told them about the situation, the whole process of admission and about the collages I want to be in. And then I told them the problems with funds, and asked them with what amount can they help me. They told me that they can't help me as they have no money available right now and about the farm that they have, they want to sell it when their other granddaughters need it, I said that they can sell it right now, give me the money needed and can buy another piece of land for them or can save that money for them, and I said that I need money right now so it would be really helpful, they said that it's for them only so I asked them were they not gonna give my mother her inheritance, they said no so I asked and what about me, you won't give me my inheritance, am I not your granddaughter. They still said no, I understood that I'm nowhere in their priority list so I left from their saying that I won't ever come to their house after this.... The granddaughters they are talking about have spend less then half of the time I've spend with them, and there's 5 years for the eldest of them to go to college. They also said some hurtful things while talking with me, I think it was the best decision to cut them off, If I am not their priority they are not mine either. Am I wrong in here?

This town is a hotspot. (post deleted by the time I got to it)
https://www.reddit.com/Paranormal/comments/1d2szgj/what_to_do_when_nothing_else_works_help/
What to do when nothing else works? (Help)May 28th 2024, 20:03, by whiskeyhurricanes5
Hi all, this is my first post here so I hope I'm doing it correct and forgive me for the length.
First, I want to establish some things.
1) we've lived in this home for 20 years, we're the first owners in what was a new development at the time.
2) were religious and it's been blessed+mass had several times (prayers, holy water, crosses, holy medals, the whole religious nine yards)
3) during some renovation years ago we found scorched earth over a large location and realize at one point a fire was had on the land
4) recently a friend who's also a historian was able to bring some information to light about the land we're on and the fact that it was actually part of a war happening between several different native tribes over 2 specific things that are on/close to this area and that this area of land was likely burial ground due to the available history about the war that happened
5) I'm a very science and fact based person. Although I've grown up religious, I find myself to be someone who is evidence and science based and I believe strongly that the most likely explanation is often the cause, I wouldn't consider myself to be easily influenced by the unexplained.
***I would ALSO like to add that our neighbors over the years (as neighbors have moved and new ones have come in) have all experienced paranormal events in their own respective homes, it’s not just ours but specifically seems to be this area. How can different people- who aren’t necessarily even friends or talk to each other on a regular basis- all experience similar or unexplained phenomenon.
I know you can only take me on my word here, but I promise, I wouldn't have come to the conclusion that my house is so f*cking haunted if there was ANY other explanation. I also have witnesses that aren't related to me who have experienced things and pictures/videos of things we can't explain that have gone into solidifying my belief.
Things have gotten worse in the last 3 months and we’re exhausted. There’s construction going on around our area and they’re making a lot of big renovations/digging up ground and I believe there has to be some correlation.
Now that you have some context/back story, I'll continue.
Things started to happen in this area almost immediately after moving in, almost 20 years ago.
The things that have occurred are
•Apparitions of a woman and young boy (she seems to be the most active as she’s often seen peering around corners or standing just out of the line of vision)
• THE OWL!!! This might be one of the most unbelievable thing, I understand. However, there is a phantom owl that is heard. Everyone has collectively looked for this owl and no one can find it, the insane thing is that it seems to move around the home in a binaural sound effect. Late at night an owl can be heard outside of every window in the home (even the windows where there is no tree) we will go and look for this owl and never find it. You can hear it (it’s coming from right next to you) but you’ll never see it. We’ve cut back trees and installed motion sensor lights, cams with night vision AND have removed certain tree entirely and even when it’s there, loud and clear, it has never been seen. This goes deeper and there is more about the incidents surrounding this creature in specific but it’s very lengthy and has lore of its own.
• phantom drumming. There was even a Dedicated “watch” group made in the neighborhood to try and find the phantom native drums that occurred at 3am nightly and of course, no one has ever found them. No, these aren’t drums from a Drum set and yes we’re all very sure of the distinct rhythm and sound that it’s native in nature. (To add, I myself am native on both sides)
•UFO sightings in the area. Over the years we have captured photos and footage of unexplained objects making strange patterns that oddly look like certain mathematical symbols (we have photos of it creating the square root symbol out of light)
Other occurrences are
•Running on the roof
•knocking in the house
•moving items
•shadow figures / hooded figures
•Speaking and disembodied voices
•A woman constantly singing at night in our back yard
•feeling touched
•doors opening/closing
•Certain physical aggressions
•a certain white/grey creature seen in the yard that disappears when you get close to it
there is honestly MUCH much more that has happened over 20 years and no, moving isn’t an option.
We’ve tried priest, blessings, sage, prayers. No, we don’t dabble in anything where something could have been done and yes, we have exhausted all natural explanations as to how these things happen.
I’m so tired. Please, if you have experience clearing out something this stubborn, what did you do?
submitted by whiskeyhurricanes5 [link] [comments]

There's multiple questions and threads on this, but appreciate thoughts on some specific thoughts
TL/DR - I'm considering building a 2'x4' worktop from MDF with some dog holes in the top, t-track on the sides, and putting it on some metal workhorses. Objective is to have something that is actually flat, versatile, and will come apart quickly to be stored in a tiny city closet. And it will allow me to actually make stuff, rather than spending hours / days / weeks building a workbench.
Am I making good / bad choices:

• is MDF an ok material? It will be stored inside, but used outside (only in good weather)
• dog holes vs other work holding options on the top (I'd like to avoid a vise for the time being)
• lateral clamping ability - more dog holes? t track?

Backstory **
I live downtown in a large city, meaning (storage) space is confined. The major upshot is that I do have a little outdoor area where I can work - and combined with year-round good weather, that's where I plan to do 99% of my work.
What kind of work? I don't know really, I'm currently trying to figure out what I like / how I like to build it. I've dabbled a little bit with hand tools, which I really enjoy, but am also slowly adding some power tools (just bought a router, and will likely get a track saw soon as well). Dutch tool chest is next on the list after building more cat furniture.
What I really need now, is some kind of workbench that is 1) flat, 2) sturdy enough, 3) flexible to allow me to do a little bit of everything (realizing that will come with compromises), and 4) portable / have some mechanism to be broken down pretty quickly and easily. My current system of some plywood on top of two garbage cans has ... certain limitations.
Other options **
Unsurprisingly, I've watched the Paul Sellers workbench build vids more than once. I'd love to build it, but until I have a garage or other permanent space, it's simply not an option. I need to store it somewhere.
I have also looked at some other options of sturdy wooden sawhorses and either a planing beam from 2x's or some kind of torsion box (there's one idea in particular from Mike Farrington which for some reason speaks to me).
Problem with all of these, is that I either can't store it fully assembled, or there is a reasonable amount of assembly required. As much as I'd like to build super sturdy sawhorses out of 4x4s, I also know that living currently without a real workbench, the actual making of those isn't easy, and for work tops in particular, getting stuff dead flat looks easy when you're Paul Sellers or have all kinds of planers / jointers, but with limited hand tools, I can probably get close but I'd never be confident it's completely flat.
My proposed solution **

• buy some metal saw horses. There are some that will go all the way up to 36" (I'm tall) and it seems like a quick way to get something relatively sturdy. Over time, I can replace these with my own wooden saw horses or even an actual workbench base. Will I "regret" having spent money on what is now a spare pair of sawhorses? Probably not?
• Buy a 4x8 sheet of MDF and cut it into quarts (so roughly 2x4" - I don't want to go much larger than that), laminate those, and put some kind of solid wood edge around it. MDF I'm seeing is like $60. More expensive than a bunch of 2x's, but not having to put in all the planing work to get these flat is worth something too. I'd then clamp this to the saw horses if even needed
• for work holding, dog holes? I would like to avoid using a vise for now to keep the weight down somewhat. Are dog holes a bad idea for MDF? If not, any recommendations for (types of) clamps? Or are t tracks better? My worry with the latter is that this work top may also be used as a base for my (to come) track saw - and I'd rather accidentally cut into MDF than t track...
• for the sides, would t track make sense? More dog holes?

Would love to get some input / thoughts from people that either have something like this and/or considered it at some point. So much info out there but also so many people pushing their own little gimmick / plans etc.
As a reference - MDF top idea partially from this vid (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P7EOAJIQJ2A).

My study today was spent defending Jesus as a law-giver and law-keeper. I learned that Jesus' interpretations of justice and mercy were always in existence. We were not made privy to them because of our human frailty, and our hearts hardened by sin. (Matthew 19:8, Mark 3:1-5, Romans 5:13) Even now, the parables reveal things to us that we were not ready to receive when our Lord walked the earth. (John 16:12-15)
We're made in God's image. Every lesson of life we learn, makes us more like Him. As we grow spiritually, we leave behind logic that no longer seems reasonable. (Psalm 17:15, Matthew 10:25, 1 Corinthians 13:11-13)
Jesus, the prophesied Messiah, came to give us a greater, and more glorious law. (Deuteronomy 18:15, Acts 3:22, Jeremiah 31:31-34) Mankind was not ready to receive, much less live out, the fullness of the law when it was given on Mt. Sinai. Even now, we are being perfected and learning, by the guidance of the Holy Spirit. (Deuteronomy 18:15-19, 1 John 2:27) Jesus explained, "I did not come to destroy the law and the prophets, but to fulfill." He also explained how vital it is to keep the whole law. (Matthew 5:17-20)
Throughout the Hebrew scriptures, we are warned not to "turn to the right hand or the left" in keeping the law. (Deuteronomy 5:32, Deuteronomy 17:1, Deuteronomy 28:14, Joshua 23:6) It means not to do more or less than what it says. The way Jesus kept the law (including the Sabbath law) was a correction of the rulers' current practices. Jesus used scripture, creation, and divinely appointed miracles to show people that they were the ones in the wrong.
Most of the laws Jesus explained to us are more easily broken than the law of Moses. We are no longer even allowed to hate, much less murder. (Matthew 5:43-45, Psalm 139:21-22) We can only keep these laws by the power of the Holy Spirit who changes our hearts. God's Holy Spirit makes us people of truth and love.
All Jesus' corrections of the commandments were scorned in his day. Don't you find it strange that Jesus, the Author of Life, is constantly condemned for promoting life and love in the Bible? (Matthew 12:1-24) The Word of God says, "When my father and mother forsake me, the Lord shall take me up." (Psalm 27:10) Jesus, the Word of God made flesh, kept his promises, even on the Sabbath. (John 1:1, John 1:14, Numbers 23:19, Isaiah 40:8) This is the greatest complaint against him among our Jewish brethren today.
In this study, I learned that God has always worked on the Sabbath he gave us. (John 5:17, Mark 2:27) It was God that kept manna from spoiling and breeding worms every Sabbath day in the wilderness. (Exodus 16:24) Jesus used King David, and those who served in the Temple as examples and proof of God's will. We are to serve God and support life every day, including the Sabbath. I finished this study wondering if, "a day with the Lord is as a thousand years," was a literal statement. (2 Peter 3:8, Psalm 90:4) I hope that God will be finished making us into our final form when Jesus is ready for his Sabbath rest with his bride. (Psalm 95:6-11, Hebrews 4:1-12, John 3:26-36)
In Jesus' day, it went against Jewish tradition to fast on the Sabbath. Jesus' disciples did not have food to eat. They were not offered a meal by their peers. Instead they accused Jesus' disciples of breaking the Sabbath because they made produce fit to eat by using their hands to take and rub clean the food God gave them. (Deuteronomy 23:25, Matthew 12:1-7)
I believe the only accusation anyone can have against Jesus is over whether or not he really was one with God. There is no doubt in my mind that Jesus spoke the truth of who he was, and it cost his life. (Matthew 26:65, Isaiah 53:12)
I spent quite a bit thinking on this passage, where Jesus was nearly stoned to death before his crucifixion. The scene takes place during Hanukkah, which is also a time when fasting and mourning are not lawful... yet hate and envy seem to be allowed? No wonder we needed a Messiah to change our hearts! (Zechariah 12:10, John 19:34-37)
John 10:22-33 NLT
22 It was now winter, and Jesus was in Jerusalem at the time of Hanukkah, the Festival of Dedication, 23 He was in the Temple, walking through the section known as Solomon's Colonnade. 24 The people surrounded him and asked, "How long are you going to keep us in suspense? If you are the Messiah, tell us plainly." 25 Jesus replied, "I have already told you, and you don't believe me. The proof is the work I do in my Father's name. 26 But you don't believe me because you are not my sheep. 27 My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me. 28 I give them eternal life, and they will never perish. No one can snatch them away from me, 29 for my Father has given them to me, and he is more powerful than anyone else. No one can snatch them from the Father's hand. 30 The Father and I are one." 31 Once again the people picked up stones to kill him. 32 Jesus said, "At my Father's direction I have done many good works. For which one are you going to stone me?" 33 They replied, "We're stoning you not for any good work, but for blasphemy! You, a mere man, claim to be God."
How can anyone save people who can't discern between their friends and their enemies? How could people bent on causing death appreciate the life-supporting logic of Jesus?
Jesus' logic made sense to those who realized that "an eye for an eye" would make the whole world blind. They had learned enough about judgment to see their need for mercy.
It was God's love for mercy that drove him to sacrifice for us, Jews and Gentiles alike. May we show one another mercy, by resisting our judgmental, sinful nature. (Hebrews 12:2-4, 1 Corinthians 10:13, Hosea 6:1-6)
Acts 17:30-31 NLT

30 "God overlooked people's ignorance about these things in earlier times, but now he commands everyone everywhere to repent of their sins and turn to him. 31 For he has set a day for judging the world with justice by the man he has appointed, and he proved to everyone who this is by raising Him from the dead."

Scripture references:
Jesus' interpretations of justice and mercy were always in existence. We were not made privy to them because of our human frailty, and our hearts hardened by sin.
Matthew 19:8 NLT

8 Jesus replied, "Moses permitted divorce only as a concession to your hard hearts, but it was not what God had originally intended.

Mark 3:1-5 NLT

1 Jesus went into the synagogue again and noticed a man with a deformed hand. 2 Since it was the Sabbath, Jesus' enemies watched him closely. If he healed the man's hand, they planned to accuse him of working on the Sabbath. 3 Jesus said to the man with the deformed hand, "Come and stand in front of everyone." 4 Then he turned to his critics and asked, "Does the law permit good deeds on the Sabbath, or is it a day for doing evil? Is this a day to save life or to destroy it?" But they wouldn't answer him. 5 He looked around at them angrily and was deeply saddened by their hard hearts. Then he said to the man, "Hold out your hand." So the man held out his hand, and it was restored!

Romans 5:13 NKJV

(For until the law sin was in the world, but sin is not imputed when there is no law.

Even now, the parables reveal things to us that we were not ready to receive when our Lord walked the earth.
John 16:12-15 NLT

12 "There is so much more I want to tell you, but you can't bear it now. 13 When the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all truth. He will not speak on his own but will tell you what he has heard. He will tell you about the future. 14 He will bring me glory by telling you whatever he receives from me. 15 All that belongs to the Father is mine; this is why I said, 'The Spirit will tell you whatever he receives from me.'

We're made in God's image. Every lesson of life we learn, makes us more like Himself. No person stays a child forever.
Psalm 17:15 NKJV

15 As for me, I will see Your face in righteousness; I shall be satisfied when I awake in Your likeness.

Matthew 10:25

“It is enough for a disciple that he be like his teacher, and a servant like his master. If they have called the master of the house Beelzebub, how much more will they call those of his household!

1 Corinthians 13:11-13 NKJV

11 When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things. 12 For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part, but then I shall know just as I also am known. 13 And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love.

Jesus, the prophesied Messiah, came to give us a greater, and more glorious law.
Deuteronomy 18:15 NKJV

15 "The LORD your God will raise up for you a Prophet like me from your midst, from your brethren. Him you shall hear,

Acts 3:22 NKJV

22 "For Moses truly said to the fathers, 'The LORD your God will raise up for you a Prophet like me from your brethren. Him you shall hear in all things, whatever He says to you.

Jeremiah 31:31-34 NKJV

31 "Behold, the days are coming, says the LORD, when I will make a new covenant with the house of Israel and with the house of Judah-- 32 "not according to the covenant that I made with their fathers in the day that I took them by the hand to lead them out of the land of Egypt, My covenant which they broke, though I was a husband to them, says the LORD. 33 "But this is the covenant that I will make with the house of Israel after those days, says the LORD: I will put My law in their minds, and write it on their hearts; and I will be their God, and they shall be My people. 34 "No more shall every man teach his neighbor, and every man his brother, saying, 'Know the LORD,' for they all shall know Me, from the least of them to the greatest of them, says the LORD. For I will forgive their iniquity, and their sin I will remember no more."

Mankind was not ready to receive the complete law when it was given on Mt. Sinai. Even now, we are being perfected and learning, by the guidance of the Holy Spirit
**Deuteronomy 18:15-19 NLT - 15 Moses continued, "The LORD your God will raise up for you a prophet like me from among your fellow Israelites. You must listen to him. 16 For this is what you yourselves requested of the LORD your God when you were assembled at Mount Sinai. You said, 'Don't let us hear the voice of the LORD our God anymore or see this blazing fire, for we will die.' 17 "Then the LORD said to me, 'What they have said is right. 18 I will raise up a prophet like you from among their fellow Israelites. I will put my words in his mouth, and he will tell the people everything I command him. 19 I will personally deal with anyone who will not listen to the messages the prophet proclaims on my behalf.
1 John 2:27 NLT - 27 But you have received the Holy Spirit, and he lives within you, so you don't need anyone to teach you what is true. For the Spirit teaches you everything you need to know, and what he teaches is true--it is not a lie. So just as he has taught you, remain in fellowship with Christ.
Jesus explained that He didn't come to destroy God's Laws. He also explained how vital it is to keep them.
Matthew 5:17-20

17 "Don't misunderstand why I have come. I did not come to abolish the law of Moses or the writings of the prophets. No, I came to complete them. 18 I tell you the truth, until heaven and earth disappear, not even the smallest detail of God's law will disappear until its purpose is achieved. 19 So if you ignore the least commandment and teach others to do the same, you will be called the least in the Kingdom of Heaven. But anyone who obeys God's laws and teaches them will be called great in the Kingdom of Heaven. 20 "But I warn you--unless your righteousness is better than the righteousness of the teachers of religious law and the Pharisees, you will never enter the Kingdom of Heaven!

Scripture warns us not to "turn to the right hand or the left" from following God's commands. This means not to do more or less than what it says.
Deuteronomy 5:32 NLT

32 So Moses told the people, "You must be careful to obey all the commands of the LORD your God, following his instructions in every detail.

Deuteronomy 17:1 NLT

1 "Never sacrifice sick or defective cattle, sheep, or goats to the LORD your God, for he detests such gifts.

Deuteronomy 28:14 NLT

14 You must not turn away from any of the commands I am giving you today, nor follow after other gods and worship them.

Joshua 23:6 NLT

6 "So be very careful to follow everything Moses wrote in the Book of Instruction. Do not deviate from it, turning either to the right or to the left.

The way Jesus kept the law was a correction of traditions. Jesus used scripture, creation, and miracles to show people the truth.
Under Jesus' glorified laws, we are no longer even allowed to hate, much less murder. We can only keep these laws by the power of the Holy Spirit who changes our hearts.
Matthew 5:43-44 New Covenant: love your enemies, hate their sin.

43 "You have heard the law that says, 'Love your neighbor' and hate your enemy. 44 But I say, love your enemies! Pray for those who persecute you! 45 In that way, you will be acting as true children of your Father in heaven. For he gives his sunlight to both the evil and the good, and he sends rain on the just and the unjust alike.

Psalm 139:21-22 Old Covenant: hate those who hate God.

21 O LORD, shouldn't I hate those who hate you? Shouldn't I despise those who oppose you? 22 Yes, I hate them with total hatred, for your enemies are my enemies.

Jesus' corrections of the commandments were scorned in his day. The Sabbath corrections were only well-received by those who knew they needed mercy.
Matthew 12:1-24 NLT

1 At about that time Jesus was walking through some grainfields on the Sabbath. His disciples were hungry, so they began breaking off some heads of grain and eating them. 2 But some Pharisees saw them do it and protested, "Look, your disciples are breaking the law by harvesting grain on the Sabbath." 3 Jesus said to them, "Haven't you read in the Scriptures what David did when he and his companions were hungry? 4 He went into the house of God, and he and his companions broke the law by eating the sacred loaves of bread that only the priests are allowed to eat. 5 And haven't you read in the law of Moses that the priests on duty in the Temple may work on the Sabbath? 6 I tell you, there is one here who is even greater than the Temple! 7 But you would not have condemned my innocent disciples if you knew the meaning of this Scripture: 'I want you to show mercy, not offer sacrifices.' 8 For the Son of Man is Lord, even over the Sabbath!" 9 Then Jesus went over to their synagogue, 10 where he noticed a man with a deformed hand. The Pharisees asked Jesus, "Does the law permit a person to work by healing on the Sabbath?" (They were hoping he would say yes, so they could bring charges against him.) 11 And he answered, "If you had a sheep that fell into a well on the Sabbath, wouldn't you work to pull it out? Of course you would. 12 And how much more valuable is a person than a sheep! Yes, the law permits a person to do good on the Sabbath." 13 Then he said to the man, "Hold out your hand." So the man held out his hand, and it was restored, just like the other one! 14 Then the Pharisees called a meeting to plot how to kill Jesus. 15 But Jesus knew what they were planning. So he left that area, and many people followed him. He healed all the sick among them, 16 but he warned them not to reveal who he was. 17 This fulfilled the prophecy of Isaiah concerning him: 18 "Look at my Servant, whom I have chosen. He is my Beloved, who pleases me. I will put my Spirit upon him, and he will proclaim justice to the nations. 19 He will not fight or shout or raise his voice in public. 20 He will not crush the weakest reed or put out a flickering candle. Finally he will cause justice to be victorious. 21 And his name will be the hope of all the world." 22 Then a demon-possessed man, who was blind and couldn't speak, was brought to Jesus. He healed the man so that he could both speak and see. 23 The crowd was amazed and asked, "Could it be that Jesus is the Son of David, the Messiah?" 24 But when the Pharisees heard about the miracle, they said, "No wonder he can cast out demons. He gets his power from Satan, the prince of demons."

Psalm 27:10

10 Even if my father and mother abandon me, the LORD will take care of me.

God keeps his promises, even on the Sabbath.
John 1:1, 14 NKJV

1 In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. ... 14 And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we beheld His glory, the glory as of the only begotten of the Father, full of grace and truth.

Numbers 23:19 NKJV

19 "God is not a man, that He should lie, Nor a son of man, that He should repent. Has He said, and will He not do? Or has He spoken, and will He not make it good?

Isaiah 40:8 NKJV

8 The grass withers, the flower fades, But the word of our God stands forever."

God has always worked on the Sabbath he gave us.
John 5:17 NKJV

17 But Jesus answered them, "My Father has been working until now, and I have been working."

Mark 2:27 NKJV

27 And He said to them, "The Sabbath was made for man, and not man for the Sabbath.

Exodus 16:24 NKJV

24 So they laid it up till morning, as Moses commanded; and it did not stink, nor were there any worms in it.

The rulers of Jesus' day made Sabbath laws that conflicted for the poor. They falsely accused Jesus' followers of harvesting on the Sabbath when they legally took what God provided.
Deuteronomy 23:25 NKJV

25 "When you come into your neighbor's standing grain, you may pluck the heads with your hand, but you shall not use a sickle on your neighbor's standing grain.

Matthew 12:1-7 NKJV

1 At that time Jesus went through the grainfields on the Sabbath. And His disciples were hungry, and began to pluck heads of grain and to eat. 2 And when the Pharisees saw it, they said to Him, "Look, Your disciples are doing what is not lawful to do on the Sabbath!" 3 But He said to them, "Have you not read what David did when he was hungry, he and those who were with him: 4 "how he entered the house of God and ate the showbread which was not lawful for him to eat, nor for those who were with him, but only for the priests? 5 "Or have you not read in the law that on the Sabbath the priests in the temple profane the Sabbath, and are blameless? 6 "Yet I say to you that in this place there is One greater than the temple. 7 "But if you had known what this means, 'I desire mercy and not sacrifice,' you would not have condemned the guiltless.

Some people say Jesus deserved to die for breaking the law. I know that Jesus spoke the truth of who he was, and paid for it with his life.
Matthew 26:62-65 NKJV

62 And the high priest arose and said to Him, "Do You answer nothing? What is it these men testify against You?" 63 But Jesus kept silent. And the high priest answered and said to Him, "I put You under oath by the living God: Tell us if You are the Christ, the Son of God!" 64 Jesus said to him, "It is as you said. Nevertheless, I say to you, hereafter you will see the Son of Man sitting at the right hand of the Power, and coming on the clouds of heaven." 65 Then the high priest tore his clothes, saying, "He has spoken blasphemy! What further need do we have of witnesses? Look, now you have heard His blasphemy!

Isaiah 53:12 NKJV - 12 Therefore I will divide Him a portion with the great, And He shall divide the spoil with the strong, Because He poured out His soul unto death, And He was numbered with the transgressors, And He bore the sin of many, And made intercession for the transgressors.
Jesus was nearly stoned to death before his crucifixion. The account takes place during Hanukkah, a time when fasting and mourning are not lawful... yet hate and envy seem to be allowed? We needed a Messiah to change our hearts!
John 10:22-33 NLT

22 It was now winter, and Jesus was in Jerusalem at the time of Hanukkah, the Festival of Dedication, 23 He was in the Temple, walking through the section known as Solomon's Colonnade. 24 The people surrounded him and asked, "How long are you going to keep us in suspense? If you are the Messiah, tell us plainly." 25 Jesus replied, "I have already told you, and you don't believe me. The proof is the work I do in my Father's name. 26 But you don't believe me because you are not my sheep. 27 My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me. 28 I give them eternal life, and they will never perish. No one can snatch them away from me, 29 for my Father has given them to me, and he is more powerful than anyone else. No one can snatch them from the Father's hand. 30 The Father and I are one." 31 Once again the people picked up stones to kill him. 32 Jesus said, "At my Father's direction I have done many good works. For which one are you going to stone me?" 33 They replied, "We're stoning you not for any good work, but for blasphemy! You, a mere man, claim to be God."

Zechariah 12:10 NKJV

“And I will pour on the house of David and on the inhabitants of Jerusalem the Spirit of grace and supplication; then they will look on Me whom they pierced. Yes, they will mourn for Him as one mourns for his only son, and grieve for Him as one grieves for a firstborn.

John 19:34-37 NKJV

34 But one of the soldiers pierced His side with a spear, and immediately blood and water came out. 35 And he who has seen has testified, and his testimony is true; and he knows that he is telling the truth, so that you may believe. 36 For these things were done that the Scripture should be fulfilled, "Not one of His bones shall be broken." 37 And again another Scripture says, "They shall look on Him whom they pierced."

Jesus' logic made sense to those who had seen enough judgment to realize their need for mercy.
God's love drove him to sacrifice for us, Jews and Gentiles alike. May we show one another mercy, by resisting our judgmental, sinful nature.
Hebrews 12:2-4 NKJV

2 looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. 3 For consider Him who endured such hostility from sinners against Himself, lest you become weary and discouraged in your souls. 4 You have not yet resisted to bloodshed, striving against sin.

1 Corinthians 10:13 NKJV

13 No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it.

Hosea 6:1-6 NKJV

1 Come, and let us return to the LORD; For He has torn, but He will heal us; He has stricken, but He will bind us up. 2 After two days He will revive us; On the third day He will raise us up, That we may live in His sight. 3 Let us know, Let us pursue the knowledge of the LORD. His going forth is established as the morning; He will come to us like the rain, Like the latter and former rain to the earth. 4 "O Ephraim, what shall I do to you? O Judah, what shall I do to you? For your faithfulness is like a morning cloud, And like the early dew it goes away. 5 Therefore I have hewn them by the prophets, I have slain them by the words of My mouth; And your judgments are like light that goes forth. 6 For I desire mercy and not sacrifice, And the knowledge of God more than burnt offerings.

Acts 17:30-31 NLT

30 "God overlooked people's ignorance about these things in earlier times, but now he commands everyone everywhere to repent of their sins and turn to him. 31 For he has set a day for judging the world with justice by the man he has appointed, and he proved to everyone who this is by raising Him from the dead."

May God's truth and love permeate our lives and make us more like Him.

My study today was spent defending Jesus as a law-giver and law-keeper. I learned that Jesus' interpretations of justice and mercy were always in existence. We were not made privy to them because of our human frailty, and our hearts hardened by sin. (Matthew 19:8, Mark 3:1-5, Romans 5:13) Even now, the parables reveal things to us that we were not ready to receive when our Lord walked the earth. (John 16:12-15)
We're made in God's image. Every lesson of life we learn, makes us more like Him. As we grow spiritually, we leave behind logic that no longer seems reasonable. (Psalm 17:15, Matthew 10:25, 1 Corinthians 13:11-13)
Jesus, the prophesied Messiah, came to give us a greater, and more glorious law. (Deuteronomy 18:15, Acts 3:22, Jeremiah 31:31-34) Mankind was not ready to receive, much less live out, the fullness of the law when it was given on Mt. Sinai. Even now, we are being perfected and learning, by the guidance of the Holy Spirit. (Deuteronomy 18:15-19, 1 John 2:27) Jesus explained, "I did not come to destroy the law and the prophets, but to fulfill." He also explained how vital it is to keep the whole law. (Matthew 5:17-20)
Throughout the Hebrew scriptures, we are warned not to "turn to the right hand or the left" in keeping the law. (Deuteronomy 5:32, Deuteronomy 17:1, Deuteronomy 28:14, Joshua 23:6) It means not to do more or less than what it says. The way Jesus kept the law (including the Sabbath law) was a correction of the rulers' current practices. Jesus used scripture, creation, and divinely appointed miracles to show people that they were the ones in the wrong.
Most of the laws Jesus explained to us are more easily broken than the law of Moses. We are no longer even allowed to hate, much less murder. (Matthew 5:43-45, Psalm 139:21-22) We can only keep these laws by the power of the Holy Spirit who changes our hearts. God's Holy Spirit makes us people of truth and love.
All Jesus' corrections of the commandments were scorned in his day. Don't you find it strange that Jesus, the Author of Life, is constantly condemned for promoting life and love in the Bible? (Matthew 12:1-24) The Word of God says, "When my father and mother forsake me, the Lord shall take me up." (Psalm 27:10) Jesus, the Word of God made flesh, kept his promises, even on the Sabbath. (John 1:1, John 1:14, Numbers 23:19, Isaiah 40:8) This is the greatest complaint against him among our Jewish brethren today.
In this study, I learned that God has always worked on the Sabbath he gave us. (John 5:17, Mark 2:27) It was God that kept manna from spoiling and breeding worms every Sabbath day in the wilderness. (Exodus 16:24) Jesus used King David, and those who served in the Temple as examples and proof of God's will. We are to serve God and support life every day, including the Sabbath. I finished this study wondering if, "a day with the Lord is as a thousand years," was a literal statement. (2 Peter 3:8, Psalm 90:4) I hope that God will be finished making us into our final form when Jesus is ready for his Sabbath rest with his bride. (Psalm 95:6-11, Hebrews 4:1-12, John 3:26-36)
In Jesus' day, it went against Jewish tradition to fast on the Sabbath. Jesus' disciples did not have food to eat. They were not offered a meal by their peers. Instead they accused Jesus' disciples of breaking the Sabbath because they made produce fit to eat by using their hands to take and rub clean the food God gave them. (Deuteronomy 23:25, Matthew 12:1-7)
I believe the only accusation anyone can have against Jesus is over whether or not he really was one with God. There is no doubt in my mind that Jesus spoke the truth of who he was, and it cost his life. (Matthew 26:65, Isaiah 53:12)
I spent quite a bit thinking on this passage, where Jesus was nearly stoned to death before his crucifixion. The scene takes place during Hanukkah, which is also a time when fasting and mourning are not lawful... yet hate and envy seem to be allowed? No wonder we needed a Messiah to change our hearts! (Zechariah 12:10, John 19:34-37)
John 10:22-33 NLT
22 It was now winter, and Jesus was in Jerusalem at the time of Hanukkah, the Festival of Dedication, 23 He was in the Temple, walking through the section known as Solomon's Colonnade. 24 The people surrounded him and asked, "How long are you going to keep us in suspense? If you are the Messiah, tell us plainly." 25 Jesus replied, "I have already told you, and you don't believe me. The proof is the work I do in my Father's name. 26 But you don't believe me because you are not my sheep. 27 My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me. 28 I give them eternal life, and they will never perish. No one can snatch them away from me, 29 for my Father has given them to me, and he is more powerful than anyone else. No one can snatch them from the Father's hand. 30 The Father and I are one." 31 Once again the people picked up stones to kill him. 32 Jesus said, "At my Father's direction I have done many good works. For which one are you going to stone me?" 33 They replied, "We're stoning you not for any good work, but for blasphemy! You, a mere man, claim to be God."
How can anyone save people who can't discern between their friends and their enemies? How could people bent on causing death appreciate the life-supporting logic of Jesus?
Jesus' logic made sense to those who realized that "an eye for an eye" would make the whole world blind. They had learned enough about judgment to see their need for mercy.
It was God's love for mercy that drove him to sacrifice for us, Jews and Gentiles alike. May we show one another mercy, by resisting our judgmental, sinful nature. (Hebrews 12:2-4, 1 Corinthians 10:13, Hosea 6:1-6)
Acts 17:30-31 NLT

30 "God overlooked people's ignorance about these things in earlier times, but now he commands everyone everywhere to repent of their sins and turn to him. 31 For he has set a day for judging the world with justice by the man he has appointed, and he proved to everyone who this is by raising Him from the dead."

Scripture references:
Jesus' interpretations of justice and mercy were always in existence. We were not made privy to them because of our human frailty, and our hearts hardened by sin.
Matthew 19:8 NLT

8 Jesus replied, "Moses permitted divorce only as a concession to your hard hearts, but it was not what God had originally intended.

Mark 3:1-5 NLT

1 Jesus went into the synagogue again and noticed a man with a deformed hand. 2 Since it was the Sabbath, Jesus' enemies watched him closely. If he healed the man's hand, they planned to accuse him of working on the Sabbath. 3 Jesus said to the man with the deformed hand, "Come and stand in front of everyone." 4 Then he turned to his critics and asked, "Does the law permit good deeds on the Sabbath, or is it a day for doing evil? Is this a day to save life or to destroy it?" But they wouldn't answer him. 5 He looked around at them angrily and was deeply saddened by their hard hearts. Then he said to the man, "Hold out your hand." So the man held out his hand, and it was restored!

Romans 5:13 NKJV

(For until the law sin was in the world, but sin is not imputed when there is no law.

Even now, the parables reveal things to us that we were not ready to receive when our Lord walked the earth.
John 16:12-15 NLT

12 "There is so much more I want to tell you, but you can't bear it now. 13 When the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all truth. He will not speak on his own but will tell you what he has heard. He will tell you about the future. 14 He will bring me glory by telling you whatever he receives from me. 15 All that belongs to the Father is mine; this is why I said, 'The Spirit will tell you whatever he receives from me.'

We're made in God's image. Every lesson of life we learn, makes us more like Himself. No person stays a child forever.
Psalm 17:15 NKJV

15 As for me, I will see Your face in righteousness; I shall be satisfied when I awake in Your likeness.

Matthew 10:25

“It is enough for a disciple that he be like his teacher, and a servant like his master. If they have called the master of the house Beelzebub, how much more will they call those of his household!

1 Corinthians 13:11-13 NKJV

11 When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things. 12 For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part, but then I shall know just as I also am known. 13 And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love.

Jesus, the prophesied Messiah, came to give us a greater, and more glorious law.
Deuteronomy 18:15 NKJV

15 "The LORD your God will raise up for you a Prophet like me from your midst, from your brethren. Him you shall hear,

Acts 3:22 NKJV

22 "For Moses truly said to the fathers, 'The LORD your God will raise up for you a Prophet like me from your brethren. Him you shall hear in all things, whatever He says to you.

Jeremiah 31:31-34 NKJV

31 "Behold, the days are coming, says the LORD, when I will make a new covenant with the house of Israel and with the house of Judah-- 32 "not according to the covenant that I made with their fathers in the day that I took them by the hand to lead them out of the land of Egypt, My covenant which they broke, though I was a husband to them, says the LORD. 33 "But this is the covenant that I will make with the house of Israel after those days, says the LORD: I will put My law in their minds, and write it on their hearts; and I will be their God, and they shall be My people. 34 "No more shall every man teach his neighbor, and every man his brother, saying, 'Know the LORD,' for they all shall know Me, from the least of them to the greatest of them, says the LORD. For I will forgive their iniquity, and their sin I will remember no more."

Mankind was not ready to receive the complete law when it was given on Mt. Sinai. Even now, we are being perfected and learning, by the guidance of the Holy Spirit
**Deuteronomy 18:15-19 NLT - 15 Moses continued, "The LORD your God will raise up for you a prophet like me from among your fellow Israelites. You must listen to him. 16 For this is what you yourselves requested of the LORD your God when you were assembled at Mount Sinai. You said, 'Don't let us hear the voice of the LORD our God anymore or see this blazing fire, for we will die.' 17 "Then the LORD said to me, 'What they have said is right. 18 I will raise up a prophet like you from among their fellow Israelites. I will put my words in his mouth, and he will tell the people everything I command him. 19 I will personally deal with anyone who will not listen to the messages the prophet proclaims on my behalf.
1 John 2:27 NLT - 27 But you have received the Holy Spirit, and he lives within you, so you don't need anyone to teach you what is true. For the Spirit teaches you everything you need to know, and what he teaches is true--it is not a lie. So just as he has taught you, remain in fellowship with Christ.
Jesus explained that He didn't come to destroy God's Laws. He also explained how vital it is to keep them.
Matthew 5:17-20

17 "Don't misunderstand why I have come. I did not come to abolish the law of Moses or the writings of the prophets. No, I came to complete them. 18 I tell you the truth, until heaven and earth disappear, not even the smallest detail of God's law will disappear until its purpose is achieved. 19 So if you ignore the least commandment and teach others to do the same, you will be called the least in the Kingdom of Heaven. But anyone who obeys God's laws and teaches them will be called great in the Kingdom of Heaven. 20 "But I warn you--unless your righteousness is better than the righteousness of the teachers of religious law and the Pharisees, you will never enter the Kingdom of Heaven!

Scripture warns us not to "turn to the right hand or the left" from following God's commands. This means not to do more or less than what it says.
Deuteronomy 5:32 NLT

32 So Moses told the people, "You must be careful to obey all the commands of the LORD your God, following his instructions in every detail.

Deuteronomy 17:1 NLT

1 "Never sacrifice sick or defective cattle, sheep, or goats to the LORD your God, for he detests such gifts.

Deuteronomy 28:14 NLT

14 You must not turn away from any of the commands I am giving you today, nor follow after other gods and worship them.

Joshua 23:6 NLT

6 "So be very careful to follow everything Moses wrote in the Book of Instruction. Do not deviate from it, turning either to the right or to the left.

The way Jesus kept the law was a correction of traditions. Jesus used scripture, creation, and miracles to show people the truth.
Under Jesus' glorified laws, we are no longer even allowed to hate, much less murder. We can only keep these laws by the power of the Holy Spirit who changes our hearts.
Matthew 5:43-44 New Covenant: love your enemies, hate their sin.

43 "You have heard the law that says, 'Love your neighbor' and hate your enemy. 44 But I say, love your enemies! Pray for those who persecute you! 45 In that way, you will be acting as true children of your Father in heaven. For he gives his sunlight to both the evil and the good, and he sends rain on the just and the unjust alike.

Psalm 139:21-22 Old Covenant: hate those who hate God.

21 O LORD, shouldn't I hate those who hate you? Shouldn't I despise those who oppose you? 22 Yes, I hate them with total hatred, for your enemies are my enemies.

Jesus' corrections of the commandments were scorned in his day. The Sabbath corrections were only well-received by those who knew they needed mercy.
Matthew 12:1-24 NLT

1 At about that time Jesus was walking through some grainfields on the Sabbath. His disciples were hungry, so they began breaking off some heads of grain and eating them. 2 But some Pharisees saw them do it and protested, "Look, your disciples are breaking the law by harvesting grain on the Sabbath." 3 Jesus said to them, "Haven't you read in the Scriptures what David did when he and his companions were hungry? 4 He went into the house of God, and he and his companions broke the law by eating the sacred loaves of bread that only the priests are allowed to eat. 5 And haven't you read in the law of Moses that the priests on duty in the Temple may work on the Sabbath? 6 I tell you, there is one here who is even greater than the Temple! 7 But you would not have condemned my innocent disciples if you knew the meaning of this Scripture: 'I want you to show mercy, not offer sacrifices.' 8 For the Son of Man is Lord, even over the Sabbath!" 9 Then Jesus went over to their synagogue, 10 where he noticed a man with a deformed hand. The Pharisees asked Jesus, "Does the law permit a person to work by healing on the Sabbath?" (They were hoping he would say yes, so they could bring charges against him.) 11 And he answered, "If you had a sheep that fell into a well on the Sabbath, wouldn't you work to pull it out? Of course you would. 12 And how much more valuable is a person than a sheep! Yes, the law permits a person to do good on the Sabbath." 13 Then he said to the man, "Hold out your hand." So the man held out his hand, and it was restored, just like the other one! 14 Then the Pharisees called a meeting to plot how to kill Jesus. 15 But Jesus knew what they were planning. So he left that area, and many people followed him. He healed all the sick among them, 16 but he warned them not to reveal who he was. 17 This fulfilled the prophecy of Isaiah concerning him: 18 "Look at my Servant, whom I have chosen. He is my Beloved, who pleases me. I will put my Spirit upon him, and he will proclaim justice to the nations. 19 He will not fight or shout or raise his voice in public. 20 He will not crush the weakest reed or put out a flickering candle. Finally he will cause justice to be victorious. 21 And his name will be the hope of all the world." 22 Then a demon-possessed man, who was blind and couldn't speak, was brought to Jesus. He healed the man so that he could both speak and see. 23 The crowd was amazed and asked, "Could it be that Jesus is the Son of David, the Messiah?" 24 But when the Pharisees heard about the miracle, they said, "No wonder he can cast out demons. He gets his power from Satan, the prince of demons."

Psalm 27:10

10 Even if my father and mother abandon me, the LORD will take care of me.

God keeps his promises, even on the Sabbath.
John 1:1, 14 NKJV

1 In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. ... 14 And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we beheld His glory, the glory as of the only begotten of the Father, full of grace and truth.

Numbers 23:19 NKJV

19 "God is not a man, that He should lie, Nor a son of man, that He should repent. Has He said, and will He not do? Or has He spoken, and will He not make it good?

Isaiah 40:8 NKJV

8 The grass withers, the flower fades, But the word of our God stands forever."

God has always worked on the Sabbath he gave us.
John 5:17 NKJV

17 But Jesus answered them, "My Father has been working until now, and I have been working."

Mark 2:27 NKJV

27 And He said to them, "The Sabbath was made for man, and not man for the Sabbath.

Exodus 16:24 NKJV

24 So they laid it up till morning, as Moses commanded; and it did not stink, nor were there any worms in it.

The rulers of Jesus' day made Sabbath laws that conflicted for the poor. They falsely accused Jesus' followers of harvesting on the Sabbath when they legally took what God provided.
Deuteronomy 23:25 NKJV

25 "When you come into your neighbor's standing grain, you may pluck the heads with your hand, but you shall not use a sickle on your neighbor's standing grain.

Matthew 12:1-7 NKJV

1 At that time Jesus went through the grainfields on the Sabbath. And His disciples were hungry, and began to pluck heads of grain and to eat. 2 And when the Pharisees saw it, they said to Him, "Look, Your disciples are doing what is not lawful to do on the Sabbath!" 3 But He said to them, "Have you not read what David did when he was hungry, he and those who were with him: 4 "how he entered the house of God and ate the showbread which was not lawful for him to eat, nor for those who were with him, but only for the priests? 5 "Or have you not read in the law that on the Sabbath the priests in the temple profane the Sabbath, and are blameless? 6 "Yet I say to you that in this place there is One greater than the temple. 7 "But if you had known what this means, 'I desire mercy and not sacrifice,' you would not have condemned the guiltless.

Some people say Jesus deserved to die for breaking the law. I know that Jesus spoke the truth of who he was, and paid for it with his life.
Matthew 26:62-65 NKJV

62 And the high priest arose and said to Him, "Do You answer nothing? What is it these men testify against You?" 63 But Jesus kept silent. And the high priest answered and said to Him, "I put You under oath by the living God: Tell us if You are the Christ, the Son of God!" 64 Jesus said to him, "It is as you said. Nevertheless, I say to you, hereafter you will see the Son of Man sitting at the right hand of the Power, and coming on the clouds of heaven." 65 Then the high priest tore his clothes, saying, "He has spoken blasphemy! What further need do we have of witnesses? Look, now you have heard His blasphemy!

Isaiah 53:12 NKJV - 12 Therefore I will divide Him a portion with the great, And He shall divide the spoil with the strong, Because He poured out His soul unto death, And He was numbered with the transgressors, And He bore the sin of many, And made intercession for the transgressors.
Jesus was nearly stoned to death before his crucifixion. The account takes place during Hanukkah, a time when fasting and mourning are not lawful... yet hate and envy seem to be allowed? We needed a Messiah to change our hearts!
John 10:22-33 NLT

22 It was now winter, and Jesus was in Jerusalem at the time of Hanukkah, the Festival of Dedication, 23 He was in the Temple, walking through the section known as Solomon's Colonnade. 24 The people surrounded him and asked, "How long are you going to keep us in suspense? If you are the Messiah, tell us plainly." 25 Jesus replied, "I have already told you, and you don't believe me. The proof is the work I do in my Father's name. 26 But you don't believe me because you are not my sheep. 27 My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me. 28 I give them eternal life, and they will never perish. No one can snatch them away from me, 29 for my Father has given them to me, and he is more powerful than anyone else. No one can snatch them from the Father's hand. 30 The Father and I are one." 31 Once again the people picked up stones to kill him. 32 Jesus said, "At my Father's direction I have done many good works. For which one are you going to stone me?" 33 They replied, "We're stoning you not for any good work, but for blasphemy! You, a mere man, claim to be God."

Zechariah 12:10 NKJV

“And I will pour on the house of David and on the inhabitants of Jerusalem the Spirit of grace and supplication; then they will look on Me whom they pierced. Yes, they will mourn for Him as one mourns for his only son, and grieve for Him as one grieves for a firstborn.

John 19:34-37 NKJV

34 But one of the soldiers pierced His side with a spear, and immediately blood and water came out. 35 And he who has seen has testified, and his testimony is true; and he knows that he is telling the truth, so that you may believe. 36 For these things were done that the Scripture should be fulfilled, "Not one of His bones shall be broken." 37 And again another Scripture says, "They shall look on Him whom they pierced."

Jesus' logic made sense to those who had seen enough judgment to realize their need for mercy.
God's love drove him to sacrifice for us, Jews and Gentiles alike. May we show one another mercy, by resisting our judgmental, sinful nature.
Hebrews 12:2-4 NKJV

2 looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. 3 For consider Him who endured such hostility from sinners against Himself, lest you become weary and discouraged in your souls. 4 You have not yet resisted to bloodshed, striving against sin.

1 Corinthians 10:13 NKJV

13 No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it.

Hosea 6:1-6 NKJV

1 Come, and let us return to the LORD; For He has torn, but He will heal us; He has stricken, but He will bind us up. 2 After two days He will revive us; On the third day He will raise us up, That we may live in His sight. 3 Let us know, Let us pursue the knowledge of the LORD. His going forth is established as the morning; He will come to us like the rain, Like the latter and former rain to the earth. 4 "O Ephraim, what shall I do to you? O Judah, what shall I do to you? For your faithfulness is like a morning cloud, And like the early dew it goes away. 5 Therefore I have hewn them by the prophets, I have slain them by the words of My mouth; And your judgments are like light that goes forth. 6 For I desire mercy and not sacrifice, And the knowledge of God more than burnt offerings.

Acts 17:30-31 NLT

30 "God overlooked people's ignorance about these things in earlier times, but now he commands everyone everywhere to repent of their sins and turn to him. 31 For he has set a day for judging the world with justice by the man he has appointed, and he proved to everyone who this is by raising Him from the dead."

May God's truth and love permeate our lives and make us more like Him.

The stats:
Climate zone 4A
Area of roof: 36’x22’
Current insulation: none
Current waterproofing: decayed epdm
I’ve got a 1” pine board decked roof with a leaky epdm membrane that badly needs replacement.
I also have a ton of other stuff going since it’s a gut job on the property, including an extension that will create a shared roof line and a valley. Message me for pics if that gets confusing….
My first order plan was to peel off the epdm since it’s thrashed, replace any deck boards that are too rough to keep in service and throw some 3/4” cdx on top of the existing deck.
As for insulation, I have a bunch of 2” eps left over from insulating underneath the basement slab.
I’ve gotten into the rabbit hole of protected membrane assemblies, aka the insulation goes on top of the epdm, with a ballast layer on top of that. The membrane will last way longer since it’s not exposed, but a leak will require invasive surgery to remove the outboard layers.
I’m trying to avoid spray foam since it could seemingly hide moisture problems as well, just from the bottom. My main goals are shifting more toward cooling than heating especially with humidity being so bad here (right outside Manhattan in nj).
Not sure if it helps but for context the plan is to make the house as tight as possible (blueskin and 1” rigid mineral wool continuous under siding, 4” mineral wool batts in the stud bays), eliminate passive venting and run an erv for that.
I’ve seen some interesting self adhered permeable roof membranes from Benjamin obdyke but that’s only rated for greater pitch than I have. Any input is greatly appreciated.
Thanks!

[Let me know if a chapter a week is okay; I'm thinking it might be a bit too often. Run Zero: https://redd.it/1csb71x Run One: https://redd.it/1cwxbsg]
The mining foreman refused to go to sleep, and watched intently as Tightniks finally reached over and set it home with one hand. Its last nervous little sigh was the only thing he remembered-
The ship is without power, and Tightniks can't run the radar much without draining the batteries...
32s: First trap.
He built it big this time, and there are six trimps in there. They look familiar somehow, the light one with dark hair and an unusually short and broad tail compared to the rest, a big-eared green one, a grey one, a yellow one, and a red one with big paws and "XIII" on its rump, and a brown one with pink ears that takes the lead and cheers, "Kakka!" Once he lets them out, they all follow him intently around like just-hatched birds do their mother. He shows them the busted off cockpit and forward cabin of the ship he just crashed and they get inside and start da- ...nope, sticking with "dancing". He busies himself looking for the survival pad.
Until he hears the squeak of a baby trimp. They're feeding it- ...rocks. Carefully selected, aluminate rocks. What the heck are they doing? Whatever, I've got to get some conventional food for- What's that? He's got the survival pad already, but this was outside the ship, it must have materialized when he descended through that glowing grey mist getting out. He gets it flipped over and turned on.
"Manual portal activation 2 successful:" it displays, "rare shield equipped 54%Stg 14%Atk MT 0 Nu loaded / 399 He loaded / Metal challenge active / Total portal activation 956"
Metal challenge? The human selects it.
"You have the Metal challenge active. Tweak the portal to bring you to an alternate reality, where the concept of Miners does not exist, to force yourself to become frugal with equipment crafting strategies. If you complete The Dimension Of Anger without disabling the challenge, miners will re-unlock."
He's so confused, What the Loy is a Dimension of Anger? I think I have a headache from this high gravity. Sits down for a moment.
Notices that one of the trimps is sleeping in a small deep hole just at the edge of the garden, apparently to have a nap in standing upright.
I don't believe you, "portal". I'm training that one first chance I get!
56s: Pop full.
There are ten of them already?? I'm still working this derpy little potato patch to get enough food to bulk up just ONE of the- He looks at the portal pad and blurts out loud, "Fifty-six SECONDS??" He postulates that he's in a time-dilated environment, and that the portal is measuring time somewhere "out there", this "map frame" environment. It's like those Star Trek episodes he can't remember "Wink of an Eye" and "Blink of an Eye" that he can't quite remember. [One of them is Star Trek TOS, and one of them is Star Trek: Voyager and I forget which one came from where.]
1m57s: Arable in Z1c13.
The human walks along and one of the trimps viciously fights the various hostiles that try to come at him, staying ahead. Just behind, he finds that hole-digger busted into a cave big enough for 9 of them, and they start raising babies to fill it up.
3m37s: Miners in Z1c30.
It's broken! he notices of the data card he just picked up. It's one of the ones that flew out of the ship when he undogged the ship's side hatch, but it didn't survive. What was on it? He's got a vague memory of a big tanuki-tailed trimp, much bigger than the- Wait! This memory is of hole-digger all grown up. So this is- he looks at the smashed data card in his hand, ...this is the Miners card. At least there's some lying about so we're not totally deprived of metal.
That's odd. I'm sure I spent longer training this little guy than "one second map frame." The human looks at the black trimp with the grey head fur and silvery eyes, "So, can you say something yet?"
"Shijou." [Takane and Takanya are not black, it is their favorite clothing color.]
"Okay, can you say something else?"
9m12s: Zone 1, 40 pop, 3.5s RC with Z0/1, 13m19s turkimp. 12m55s: First scientist.
"Tai," his first scientist waves at him.
"Hmm," the human tries to think of a better test, "What color is the sky?"
"Shijou." The exasperated human is about to sigh in despair when he notices a card in its hands, with one word on it, "Blue."
"What?" he takes it, "You can't speak but you can write, huh?"
"Shijou," it twirls its paw off the end of the card in his hand. The human turns it over, and in small writing, it has "Technically, the sky isn't blue, it's a foible of Rayleigh scattering in an oxygen/nitrogen atmosphere. And you have 'TIGHTNIKS' embroidered on the left side of your uniform."
A look of astonishment sweeps over the human. I never taught it about Rayleigh scattering. Apparently, the scientist training has unlocked its brain to access the collected knowledge of a previous life! Then he looks at his uniform and groans, spanking his eyebrows in realization. The trimp had apparently noticed him wandering around the camp wracking his brain and talking to himself trying to remember his own name, and it's right there the whole time! He spanks his eyebrows again.
The very well fed grey-headed trimp starts doing experiments, leaving him to take the turkimp back to his farmers. Too bad it's only a quarter as fast at it as he is.
32m25s: Zone 3, 79 pop, 4.5s RC with Z1/2; c16, 79 pop, 6.8s RC with Z2/3.
"Nano! Nano, nano, nano." The D&B (that's dodge and block) foreman has an impressive yellow mane, light face, green body, and brown hind limbs, and moves like a blur when it decides to. When asleep, it's as unarousable as an exhumed fossil, except with the food article Yellow the scientist calls an "owny geary". [Puchim@s Afuu]
Helping it out is a brown-maned white trenching expert Tightniks finds oddly familiar. It has no problem mining, but couldn't start a fire if its life depended on it, so smelting is out of the question.
I guess that's how the Metal challenge really works. Too bad I suck at it. Tightniks is spending all his smelting time smacking out nails and joist hangers for the houses, and has nothing left for fighting gear.
1h53m25s: Zone 9, 306 pop, 7.9s RC with Z8/15, no turkimp.
The white trimp with the brown head fur- ...whichever one it is because it, or one that looks just like it, sometimes (apparently) burns itself up or blows itself up trying to build a metallurgical furnace. This one is digging a hole right now, into the concrete of some ruined building's foundation. It hits some strapping and rebar, makes a happy sound, follows it along and gets it sorta clear of the concrete bonded to it, and rips it out of the ground to throw on the metal pile. It now seems content to do that instead of trying to smelt ores.
"Red?" Tightniks glances at one of his scientists, "Do you think we could take it to- What's that place you said you visited five hundred years after some misty fight or-"
"Cloudy strife," it says, "Yeah, Midgimp is like that, we could probably map a route through there. Lots of metal. Especially the part that had an avalanche happen and fell down. Broke all that stuff out of the ground already." [Final Fantasy VII and Advent Children cinematic and Sector 7 collapse.]
"Okay," Tightniks says, "Let's do that."
5h32m02s: Zone 21, 2042 pop, 14.9s RC with Z20/232, no turkimp.
"Ooooookay," Tightniks growls, "There is something off about this thing."
"Shijou?" the grey one looks at the yellow one with concern about their human starship pilot friend.
The human stoops, picks up the little green gem on the ridge between Zone 20 and 21, looks at it, huffs, and asks, "Any idea where this comes from?"
"Err..." the red one seems hesitant to say, "I think you made it."
"Really?" the human huffs, "How could that be?" Then he tosses it at Red, "See if anything reacts to it. It might be radioactive, so we should take turns to minimize exposure."
"Really?" Red's holding it now, "What makes you say that?"
"Because I'm pissed off for no reason I can figure out," the human says, "I think it's coming from-" he gasps, "Waitamint!" He starts searching for the portal pad.
"Frags," the red one says quickly, "I think it's arranging a route. You're good with maps," it tosses the gem to the grey scientist.
The human has his portal pad up and reads aloud, "You have the Metal challenge active. Tweak the portal to- yada yada yada. Tiss tiss t- complete The Dimension Of Anger without disabling- miners will re-unlock."
\BOOM\** They turn to see (another of) the white brown-haired trimp'/s' attempts at a metallurgical furnace explode, and it seems both very frustrated and has really hurt its toe.
He snaps his fingers, "That's gotta be it. Although, does it mean 'miners' or 'furnaces'?" He re-reads the portal pad while the scientists shrug.
"Shijou," the grey one has just finished tracing the route map the gem was showing.
"Are we going any faster than on previous cycles, you think?" he asks Red.
"What's a cycle?" Red asks.
"We're stuck in time loop, you realize?" the human says.
"Well," the yellow one jumps off a little rock spire it was using to see farther ahead, directly into a seated position on the ground with an impressive thump the human can both hear with his ears and feel through the ground of the more-than-Earth gravity planet, "that explains a few things." The little scientist trimp seems quite morose at the news.
"This thing says the fastest we've ever got this 'anger' map done is ten hours, thirty-five, but the clock right now is at five hours, thirty-four." Tightniks tilts his head, frowns one eyebrow, and taps, "Getting it done faster increases attack damage somehow, and oh-"
"What now?" the yellow one asks, still seated beside the spire.
"It says we already got a 2.5%-er for having a million traps," the human says, "I don't remember doing that. Maybe..." he sighs, "Maybe that's a good thing, 'cus I'd probably go insane building them all. Still though, it says we're going faster, but it doesn't feel like it."
"How'd you know how it feels," Red asks, "if you don't remember it?"
"'Day jaw voo' I think is the term," the human says, "or something. The sense that all this has happened before, but I'm not quite remembering and there's no physical evidence of it."
"Shijooooooooooo..." the grey one moans, waving a card at him. On it:
"In order, but we don't know if that means chronological order or frequency/proportion of memories:
"- The ship crashes (pretty sure that happens every time) "- The human builds huts "- The human teaches some trimps to speak and do science "- The human builds houses "- The human makes maps "- The human builds mansions "- The human blows up and gets himself killed somewhere around Z17 to Z21, often on a dragimp "- The human only recently/occasionally builds hotels "- The human only recently/rarely tamed a dragimp "- The human only recently/rarely mapped the Dimension of Anger"
Tightniks sits down and offers it back.
"Tai," it flatly refuses to take it back, paws up and eyes closed.
"It's kind of a relief," Tightniks rubs his temples, then looks at it again, "knowing it ain't just me."
6h17m43s: Portal PB, 1% AP for sub-8h, 45 He, 7.149 He/hr, 2209 pop, 13.6s RC.
The last head of the map's boss monster goes limp as one of the fighting trimps' dagger points goes into it, and the huge thing settles on its tail, resting on the package that seems to be the prize of this map. And there's a popping sound, and then something mechanical.
Is that a scroll compressor? Tightniks looks at the package. The deflating monster's lifting envelope material drapes over everything underneath it. "Yellow, Shijou!" he snaps and points, "roll up that side of it. Keep this part from sucking down on the extractor nozzle!"
All ten of the scientists jump in, literally, pushing the gas in the bag towards the compressor. Tightniks as well, rolling up the front.
Until he kicks, and nearly trips over, a smaller package that might be the explanation for the reason why the center of the monster's defense seemed to be a little away from the big package he could see. It's in the right place, he realizes. He gets it uncovered and reads stenciled-and-sprayed block letters on it:
"DT TIME PORTAL / THIS SIDE DOWN"
Perhaps the Dimension of Anger is so named because of the rage suddenly rising up in Tightniks' throat. It isn't so much as the free-floating aggression suddenly has an answer, there is definitely a fresh batch of rage and anger as he grips the nearest Dagger V, Mark 2 with both hands-
Refocusing on surviving the next few seconds, the pilot turns on the radar for the final approach and takes a last look around, then straight ahead at his forward camera and primary flight display...
He crouches, sets the dagger down gently, then starts clearing the debris from the box's grab iron. He tries to lift it- Damn, this is heavy! As he gets it turned over, gravity finishes the job, and it shakes the ground with an impressive thud as it falls right side up.
"DT TIME PORTAL / THIS SIDE UP" There's a square cutout in the middle of one side of it, with a sliding cover at the bottom of it.
"Get the pad!" he screams, seeing that his scientists are almost done rolling up the megablimp.
The grey one already has the survival data pad and offers it to him.
"The big one," Tightniks clarifies, "The big one." he picks up wide flat rainbow cable and its edge socket in one hand, "It goes here," he points at it with the other. "It must have come with me-" He had taken the small survival data pad and notices something, "Oh?" He starts looking around, "Hey!"
The white trimp with the brown hair is napping in a hole next to the smouldering remains of its latest attempt at a smelting furnace.
"Hey, mining buddy!" he whistles at it, "Mining buddy!"
It wakes with a start and rushes over, but doesn't seem to be in a good mood. But as soon as Tightnik shows it the survival pad, with all of the mining data installed just as if all those broken data cards and scorched scrolls were intact when he found them, fireworks goes off in the little trimp's eyes and it rushes off with the pad. Within minutes, the first furnace that works is chugging away at some ore and it returns to give the survival data pad back to Tightniks.
7h24m49s: Fresh turkimp; 7h25m30s: Labor reallocated.
The big-eared green lumber foreman's mood fell much further than the mining foreman's mood was before Tightniks packed up the turkimp roaster and moved just about everyone over to the smeltery.
The brown-haired, big-tailed white mining foreman was surprised at the change, and very happy. It had climbed up onto the helium compressor cart to check something on the pad a couple cells into the zone.
"Are you upset with me?" the red one asks the human.
"No, not at all," Tightniks says, "Are you getting the feeling that we had an upset at this point last cycle?"
"How would you know it was only the last?" Yellow asks, "Your memory's no better than ours."
"Right," the human sews another patch into his uniform, "However, I've only actually hit the switch on the portal twice, the first one on a challenge called Discipline, and the second on a challenge called Metal, which we just finished. It's easy to sort out from the statistics. I'm nervous it'll get harder to sort out when we're up to, oh," done fixing his uniform, he pops a bit of turkimp into his mouth and chews a couple times, "a few dozen or hundred manual cycles."
"Friggin' solve this faster than that, please," Red grumbles, "I know the emergency counter got to nearly a thousand, but..." he kinda trails off. Finally, he says, "I think we're remembering more cycle to cycle as we get more helium into it. I mean, I'm glad that isn't the only mechanic."
"Can't miss the supernova if it is," the human ponders.
"What?" Yellow chuckles.
"I'm remembering something from before all this, I think it was called a video game, where you'd go forward real-world in the simulation of a time loop, and your real-life head remembering what you did on previous cycles was the only mechanic," the human takes another bite, then dons his uniform shirt while chewing it. After his head pops out of the not-so-crisp-and-fresh uniform neck hole, buttons still done up, he finishes, "one of them had a supernova." [That would be Outer Wilds among the bunch of games with this mechanic, er, Minnit (I know it's spelled differently than "minute"), 12 Minutes, The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask, and- ...I'm sure there are more.]
11h19m28s: Starting void 1 (L30).
With the thermal gloves on, Tightniks gets the void map into the portal device slot. It dematerializes and his fingers close where it used to be in his hands, then he yelps, stands up and starts dancing, "Oh crap, it's cold!" He quickly starts looking for stuff to bundle up. Once not too uncomfortable, he notices something, "You're having trouble, too?"
"No," Yellow and Red look at each other, "Well, not with the cold; this route has a poisonous atmosphere, slows down our young assimilating aluminum at the proper rate."
"Manning the traps will work at full speed, right?" Tightniks says.
"Should if your fingers can handle it," Red confirms.
11h33m57s: Void 1c100.
"You are one ugly muthaf[garble]!" he says when he sees the void boss, "Stay here, I'll be back." Runs some traps, grabs a couple helmets for the fresh volunteers, "Put these on."
"Shijou?" the grey one looks at the red one, really rather perplexed.
"I agree, that's not his usual accent," Red tilts his head, "Tightniks, what has gotten in to you?"
"Stop cheering me up," the human grumbles, "You think this is the real Quaid?"
"I think the cold is affecting him more than he realizes," Yellow offers.
"Phased plasma rifle in the forty watt range," but what the dizzy pilot actually throws at the zone boss is a Mace V-4, "and then I was thinking of breaking your neck."
[Felt like some- "Arnie? Well, the union is pulling out all the big guns today, huh?" (Tom Hanks as Sully) ...no, brain, Arnold Schwarzenegger, not Arnie Gentile (it was really funny to background Sully and listen to that line instead of "That's definitely you" in Terminator 2 while he's posing with the Minigun.) Arnie lines from Predator, Terminator 2, True Lies, Total Recall and The Terminator.]
"Tweak the portal," reads Tightniks from the portal controller aloud, but quietly, "to bring you to an alternate reality, where Trimps are bigger and stronger, to force yourself to figure out a way to build larger housing. Your Trimps will gather 50% more resources, but your housing will fit 50% fewer Trimps. If you complete The Dimension of Anger without disabling the challenge, your stats will return to normal."
"You will also open a new memory coolant unit," Yellow reads, "You think that'll cause a housing bonus?"
"Shijou," the grey one hands him a card saying "We have enough for another gateway."
"Oh, good," Tightniks hands it back after signing it, "Yes, build it."
"We're doing that next?" Yellow asks.
Tightniks sees the little fellow sitting on top of a mound that the human thought was a bowel movement pile from Draglimp, but it must be something more geological if trimps can climb it, let alone want to. "Yeah, I guess," the human answers, "It kinda scares me, I mean I'm going back, but what happens to you guys?"
"We have too much day javo or whatever you called it," Red says. He's usually on all fours, shakes his left hind leg as though something got stuck to his foot, "This isn't incrementing, I'm sure. 13 is less than 956."
"According to this, you'll be twice as big," Tightniks sets down the portal controller pad and stands up from the cart, "It's hard to imagine, especially for Shijou and Diggy. We'll clear thirty-six, that's it."
14h04m37s: Z33c95, IC.
"Are you sure we can make Zone 37 start?" the red one asks.
The yellow one is standing on Red's shoulders.
"It said we did last time," Tightniks taps on the crude leather bag strapped to his back, the portal pad inside it, "though maybe..." he tilts his head, rolls whatever he was sucking on in his mouth for a moment, "it just happened while I was building those traps. No, I'm sticking with that plan."
"If it's going to take that long," Red grinds its jaws sideways for a moment and lets its eyelids get lazy, frustration clear in its tone, "why do it again?"
"Because I've got a bad feeling about this 'Size' thing," Tightniks says, "it drops our resourcing by 75% assuming we build the same amount of housing as before, which we won't because of the reduced resourcing. We needed 65 capacity in the cabin and huts before we could do run the gypsum/paper wall machine we found. I have a funny feeling that never changes."
"We don't need 65 trimps to run it," Yellow says, "just three."
"Yeah," Tightniks says, "but a particular three that know what they're doing, and my day javoo is telling me the last of those is always the sixty-fifth."
"Shijou," the grey one moans from the other side of Tightniks. Didn't have a note this time, just kicking a little rock along as it walks.
"It thinks you're right," the red one growls forlornly, "Hating to say it, but I do too."
14h16m06s: Skel in c1, 50 bones purchased whipimp.
There's a thump at the cart, and then some commotion around it that's noticable enough for Tightniks to come over and take a look. The bone box is empty, all forty-nine titanium bones in it are gone. Tightiks brings his right hand up in front of him, and it's just a balled fist, the bone he was holding a moment ago is gone. As he starts looking for where he must have dropped it, he realizes maybe it's all related. Looking in the bottom of the empty bone box, he finds a note.
"I got you the whipimp. This new Bad Guy will begin spawning in your next zone at an average of 3 spawns per 100 enemies. I hope it helps, but I can't tell yet."
The note is in Tightniks' own handwriting, although lazy but with more consistent kerning. Is this from an older version of myself? Friggin' time travel.
14h18m48s: This L34 moun 160/27/79 calls itself "Magical Mountain" - I can't remember whether the Disney trademark is that or "Magic Mountain" ...I've seen a "Black Mesa" before, that's a Half-Life thing, and somebody on Reddit made pretend that "Dank Hill" was a King of the Hill thing (which is actually *Hank Hill, I think - it's hard to remember, it wasn't very good and I haven't watched it since the 1990s.)
19h32m00s: Doom/AT, 12816 pop, 80N, 37.7s RC with Z34/5298.
"Okay, we got that friggin' thing chocked," Yellow wipes its brow and almost bonks itself with the Mace VI-2 that it's holding, puts it down and makes sure the wedges are secure.
Grey, Red, and Green are packing more stuff around the huge boulder that chased them down a tunnel to make sure it doesn't do that again.
"Getting any day javoo?" Tightniks pants, hands on his knees, but apparently uninjured, or nearly so.
"Not at all," Yellow vehemently responds, slashing the air with its paw, "You?"
"Oh," Tightniks gets his breathing under control, "I think it was a human movie."
"Like a video on that pad?" it gestures at the human's pocket with the small one.
"No, a bigger screen," the human says.
"Fifty-five inches?" the trimp scientist chuckles.
"More like fifty-five feet," the human rubs the sweat out of his eyes, "Lots of people watching. It was called a sin."
"Ah," the trimp ponders, "Like a crime, vice, psychopathy or bad habit?"
"Er..." the human taps his forehead trying to remember, "Sorry, a cinema."
[The whole thing is obviously an homage to something I remember only slightly better than Tightniks, I think it was Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. As I'm posting this, I sadly realize that Nick Rekieta's arrest was between when I wrote this and now.]
19h58m55s: Zone 37, 473 He, 23.67 He/hr, 13088 pop, 81N, 32.1s RC with Z34/5298, 2806 pop short, no turkimp.
The ship is without power, and Tightniks can't run the radar much without draining the batteries...

Hey snowboarding, I’m looking for advice on what I should get to replace my alchemist. I’m currently running
K2 alchemist 164 wide - with union falcors (has a bad core shot pushing through top sheet)
158 ride paychocandy - with union contacts
I live in Vancouver, have a grouse pass and whis pass. Will also be going to Japan in January. I’m 6’3, 210, with size 13 feet, and have never really been a park guy, so don’t care about riding switch. Very much the powder chasing report guy.
I have the psychocandy as my daily driver, side hits, tight trees, whatever conditions board. And got the alchemist for big days.
The problem is, #1 it’s coreshot, #2 as a heavy and expert rider it’s too much board 99% of the time. I’ll have a great first 4-5 runs in the AM but once everything gets ridden out I feel I am being beaten to death with carbon stiffness.
So I’m looking for something to ride the steep and hopefully deep at big resorts like Whistler or revvy, but that doesn’t suck my will to live the rest of the time.
I like the idea of the K2 excavator but am concerned the 158 will be to close to the psycho candy, and the 162 will be too much board. Also like the look of K2 Passport 163W.
What else should I be looking at!?

Disclaimer: this is an extremely long post with a lot of background information. If you wish to skip, please proceed to paragraph 7 lol
I was convicted in October of ‘23 for pandering. I spent 5 months in my county’s CBCF as a result of the charge and have been placed on probation for 2 years but could be let off sooner. However, the 22 videos and 44 images that I dreadfully downloaded happened back in October of ‘21.
To make another extremely long story short, this happened due to the end of my 2 year marriage that resulted in infidelity on both ends (I was 20 and she was 18 when we got married) and I decided to cope in the worst ways possible. Alcohol binges, dating apps, porn, hook ups and steroids. I believe the steroids that I took were a huge contributing factor in terms of escalating the type of porn I was watching which inevitably led me down a rabbit hole over a 3 year span. However the illegal stuff was a very isolated time frame, less than a month, before realizing what I was doing was extremely wrong.
Not trying to make excuses, but during that time I was dating my soon to be baby mom and our relationship was extremely toxic and unhealthy. She ended up finding non illegal images of younger girls in my dropbox account in my files on my computer (I was completely unaware my phone was being backed up.) She obviously freaked, and I was very open and honest about things. It took a while for her to come around and understand, but we agreed that I were to get help. I did and it was very useful. As time went on, she would accuse me of looking at images still (I wasn’t) and would get mad if I watched porn at all (even though she did all the time) I was the only one who worked and I had to provide for her and her son. It was very difficult and I was constantly ridiculed. Every day I was in that relationship it was like walking on eggshells due to her threatening to expose me. I was trapped. Eventually I lost my job and while I was unemployed for a month is when I said “fuck it, if I’m going to get accused all the time I may as well escape from this hellhole somehow” and that’s when the illegal stuff happened.
I felt ashamed of myself and deleted everything I had off my phone (or so I thought). Months go by, we have our daughter, everything is fine until one night she goes through my phone while I was asleep because she thought I was cheating on her. I worked at a popular bar with lots of attractive girls. And honestly, I did cheat on her once and the evidence was there. But while she went through my phone, she found a couple deleted non illegal images that I deleted from my camera roll recently and a zip file in my “files” app on my phone that had a female name on it. I thought I deleted everything from my past but I forgot one thing. She then turns my phone in to the police while I was asleep and the investigation was underway.
I decide to contact a lawyer and move home with my parents. A couple days later, she stops by the house and we have a conversation and I tell her the truth about what I downloaded in the past. She regretted things immediately and wanted to move home with me and genuinely make things work. Well, since you’re reading this post, obviously things didn’t work out. We separated again after 3 months because of a fictional cultivated scenario of DV in my car where I ended up with more bruises on my face than her fake makeup bruise she painted on the day later. But because I was the drunk, big male passenger, I was charged and sent to jail. We didn’t speak to one another for 6 months then tried to make things work again when I took a plea deal for Assault because she threatened I wouldn’t see my daughter if I took things to trial. We dated for another 6 months, getting hotels and spending time as a family up until I was sentenced to CBCF. Mind you, this whole time her family and her friends and everyone on her social media didn’t know we were together since she plastered my case and me all over Facebook and Instagram, exaggerating everything. Saying I had hundreds of thousands of images and that I beat her up, all of which simply wasn’t true.
While I was in CBCF, we had phone calls and video visits for a month before finding out that she was already dating and living with another guy. I was heartbroken and it made my time in there difficult but eventually, I learned to let go and focus on healing myself. I took many classes in which I took very seriously and received great mental health treatment. I felt the happiest I had been in 7 years. I get out, I see my daughter and have breakfast with baby mom, and then things go south again. My case is plastered all over social media from people I went to high school with, containing all these outrageous claims and then my baby mom chimes in and puts out more false info.
So finally what I’m getting at, is how can I even think about trying to make new friends or even try to have a relationship with anyone? The people I thought were my friends stopped talking to me except for one. He’s my best friend and I’m very grateful for him. I’ve told him my story and he never judged once, he actually understood. I’m trying my best to restart my life, but I have so much anxiety doing so because of all the misinformation plastered everywhere on social media.
For instance, I met a couple girls a few weeks ago that bartend and I thought would be great recruits for my buddy’s restaurant that I’m helping open. We all become friends and last week I finally let one of the girls know I was interested in her since the other one told me that she thought I was hot. We agreed that it wasn’t going to be anything serious and just enjoy the summer with each other since she just got out of a relationship and wanted to focus on herself. Well, I’m assuming she somehow caught wind of things about me because today she asked “what’s your last name” I told her, despite nervously knowing where it was headed. I sent another text stating “I’m assuming I know why you’re asking, and to be honest I have no problem telling you the truth about things if you’re actually interested in knowing. If not, I totally understand”
No response. I check insta, she unfollowed me. Check snap, she deleted me.
I understand people’s decisions and have no problem with them. I can’t take things personally and can accept things for what they are. However, at night I really start to think about things and make myself upset because why won’t anyone let me tell them my side of the story? Not my “friends,” and not someone who I genuinely felt like I had a great connection with. I don’t plan on hiding who I am, but I at least want the person to know that I am a good human being who is working on themselves diligently before ever bringing up my past.
How would any of my fellow offenders tackle this, and how would you female supporters react to my situation? I’m trying my best to rebuild my life but the anxiety of it all can be crippling. Now I have to start over to square one, with my confidence reset back to 0 now that I’ve been ghosted.
I would consider myself to be an attractive man, solid 7.5-8. 5’11, 210lbs and very into fitness. I bust my ass at work, drive a nice vehicle, I’m compassionate, empathetic and emotionally mature thankfully because of therapy. I’m not trying to blow my own horn, but I would consider myself to be a high quality man. However, this conviction is a major blow to everything else I have going on for me. Any advice on how anyone believes I should go about my life would be greatly appreciated. This is all new to me, and it’s very frustrating to say the least.
Thank you all for your time in advance

This will be long. Like the title says, my (18F) BF (18M) broke up with me because he can't handle being in a relationship with me whilst working.
For more context, he and I went through a tough time together before but ever since a few months ago, we got over it and we've been healthily communicating now, etc. We were both on the same boat that we wanted our relationship to work out, so we worked on ourselves and understood each other more, and it's just been great in general. However, this past month, he's been a lot busier with his family, school works, personal hobbies, etc. that we don't really have time together anymore (in real life and online) unless it's late at night and we bond by playing a few games with our friends and then he goes to sleep. We don't live together btw. Anyway, I sleep late, so I just do my own thing after. So, I didn't really think anything of it but that he's just busy and just went with the flow.
However, this past week, he seemed a lot more distant and he would go to sleep a lot earlier. Again, I didn't really take it as anything but that he was busy and tired. Idk if this is relevant since he said it wasn't the case when I asked him about it, but I thought that his energy when talking to me vs his friends was drastically different. For example, when he's tired, he tells me he is and doesn't talk much and his voice is low, but when he gets on call with his friends, he suddenly becomes very talkative, loud, and energetic. However, I decided to brush it off thinking he's probably just really tired but since he's a very social type of person, he masks it as he likes to talk and light up the vibe in a group setting.
I would also like to note that at one point during that week, he opened up about his worries regarding the day where he finally starts working, which was going to be this week, and how it's going to affect our relationship. For context again, from the very beginning, we've already spoken about our plans for our future, especially career-wise. He expressed how passionate he was and how he wanted to focus on it when time comes and I said the same, so I never thought of it as a hindrance or anything bad because it's for his future and I prioritize my future the same too. Also, the job he'll do is the career he wants to pursue for his lifetime (in the car business), so it's really serious and he really wants to do well, which is understandable. That means that when he starts working, he'll be significantly busier and won't have as much time to spend with me. We also had a conversation whether we can handle being in a relationship while still being able to focus on our career goals, and we said yes. For more detail, I'm in my first year of college and I plan on pursuing law, so I obviously wouldn't have as much time as well, but I have many years to go before that while he starts working right away after high school. Going back, I told him that he doesn't have to worry because we've spoken about this before and I'm supportive of him and that I know he'll be busy but once it happens, we'll figure things out.
2 nights ago, after playing with our friends for a little bit and getting on a private call, he remained quiet and then he suddenly asked if it was okay that he asks for space. I didn't ask why, but I said that it was fine and I'll be here for him whenever. Based off what he said last time, I assumed that he was stressed because again, he was going to work and he was probably overthinking because he wanted to do well and because of his worries regarding our relationship as well. Usually, he tells me goodnight and that he loves me, but that night he didn't. I stayed up until 5 am just thinking. That's when I sort of thought of the possibility that he'll break up with me considering what he's opened up to me so far and knowing him, so I just thought of messaging him a GIF of a cat sending love at 5 am lol.
The day after that night/later that day (for me), I woke up and his response was him asking if we could talk at night once he arrives at his house. He was busy the whole day, so yeah. The night arrived and he told me he didn't know how to start and that he didn't like talking about it and told me we should probably have the conversation in real life, but I guess I already expected what would happen and if I wasn't right, I'd probably just end up overthinking, so I just told him to tell me what he wanted to say as he already asked for us to talk that night anyway.
He beat around the bush a lot, but it was basically him saying that once he starts working, he won't have time for me. He expressed his worry about how our relationship will work by then. He said he also thought about the whole "If he wanted to, he would" thing, but he said he knows that he'll probably be side tracked because of how busy he'll be. He said our relationship will not be the same anymore, such as gaming, sleep calling at night maybe, watching movies together, etc. He also said he considered about how my love language is quality time and we won't get to have that anymore. He also mentioned about how he doesn't know what to do and that he's uncertain of us, but that he still cares about me and loves me. He asked for my perspective on it after.
In summary, I told him that we've spoken about this before and I never thought of his work as a hindrance since I know it's for his future as well as his passion. I said I knew about it from the start (that he'll be busy) because that's one of the first things we discussed together, and I never complained whenever he helped his parents with work or was busy with his own endeavors for his future, so it wasn't a problem at all. I also didn't overthink or worry about him working, and it never came to mind until he brought it up. I thought we'd be fine. I mentioned how I've expressed even before that I'm supportive of him and look up to him in a way where he knows what he wants for his future and has plans to get there at a young age. In correlation to me not worrying about him working soon, I told him that I feel like he should ask the questions he's asking me to himself. I asked him whether he can handle being in a relationship while working. I asked him whether he can still be a good partner during that. I'm not talking about spending time 24/7 but just being caring and such.
He hesitated a lot and I told him that I can state my opinion regarding where our relationship goes from here, but it takes two for a relationship to work, so even if I wanted us to continue, he has to want it too. He ended up telling me that he couldn't. He broke up with me and explained that it's because he can't handle being in a relationship while working because he's already overwhelmed with the thought of working and the things he needed to do to be good at it the closer he is to the d-day (first work day). He wants to prioritize his family and his work, and that I deserve better that what he could offer. He told me that he didn't want to do this because he still loves me, but he's uncertain of us now and he didn't want to make me hope for something uncertain. He also mentioned growth and such. Towards the end, he told me he was sure. Sure of ending our relationship.
He wanted to end on good terms and although I agree, I don't know how I'll feel a week or a month from now. I just feel numb and it feels surreal right now. He told me that I can be upset and that he'd give me space. Later, he tried calling and then messaged me saying he'll give me space but he wanted us to communicate about how things go from here because he wanted us to be on good terms + we have mutual friends. Fast forward, in his last messages he said that we should to take a step back for now and think about whether this was the best decision. He asked me yesterday if we could talk tonight, but he messaged me tonight saying if we can talk tomorrow instead because he wants his thoughts to be clearer first and that he's all over the place right now.
I don't know how I feel. I feel upset, confused, hurt, and empty/numb at the same time. I thought we were fine, so the break up came out of nowhere for me aside from the gut feeling I had the night prior. Relationships are never supposed to be a hindrance in the first place, and he told me before that he can be in a relationship even with his goals but I guess life just happens. Views change. He didn't mention what he wanted to talk to me about particularly, so until now I don't know, but it does hurt whenever I remember him telling me how he was certain of us at first because he's the type to know what he wants, but now he isn't. It's upsetting to know that he's uncertain, that he needs to have clearer thoughts because I didn't think this would happen. Is he going to talk with me tomorrow about remaining on good terms and how we'll act with our friends? Or is he going to talk about getting back together? It's most likely the former, but if he does want to get back together, would that be alright? Or will I end up feeling bad thinking that he became unsure. Do I settle for that? I don't know what to think. I'm so lost. I don't have friends I feel like I can or want to open this up to, so I'm just pouring my thoughts here.

I'm really really really really bored so... I'm writing down these thoughts I've had foe a while ok... let's go!
Creel House: This story was basically perfect, I just really wanted Mike in the story line... that's it lol, oh yeah and a bit more of Erica and Steve and Dustin ofc lol
California: I wanted these guys straight up on the RUN!! switching clothes, stealing vehicles, scrapping every cent they can for food, and some how they force a guard or they get caught and are forced to find Eleven, and with all this being said we could still have all the comedy along with Will's feeling for Mike, and Mike feeling likes he's not needed anymore and scared to say I love you with El, and maybe more of Argyle helping out Johnathan with Nancy but realizes his brother needs him more, also I really wanted way for of El and Will as Siblings, I wanted to see him beat up some bullies for his sister Millie and Niah are best friends I want that in them
The Nina Project: other than they that that I would rename the episode to "Project Nina" (don't ask why) I would have loved to see the other powers on the other numbers all we really saw was their telekinesis and honestly I wasn't a huge fan of that because I think that powers along with the Void should souly be for El and Vecna and that's why Henry aims for her because they have similar powers, but I would have loved to see more of the bullies using different powers to tourcher El, (yes I know it's sad but I want them all to be unique,also how come 008 doesn't have telekinesis....... maybe they learned they have that power after they left but idk) Oh yeah I also El to struggle with her powers again along with a wayyy better understanding on why she lost them, that was slightly confusing
Russia: Dear lord we didn't need this plotline every fu**ing episode they could have broke it down Start the plot in ep 2,4 take a break come back for the demo fight in ep 7, skip 8 and come back for 9... chapters 2,4,7,9 there 4 episodes that's all it should take, also I hated the fact they went back to the prison like... why it would have been ten times better to have the demo (lol) monster out in the wild and they battle them in the village with fire in the snowy climate, HOW COOL WOULD THAT HAVE BEEN!!! Also Dmitri should have died.. or Yuri we are never going to see them again... What was the Point!!! Also the thing I hated the most is that Hopper just fell off the side when the Lazer exploded... brush they should have had him enter the gate and fight it out in their and then he gets captured or! Hear me out they could have just fully fake Hopper's death with no hints, and this whole mini plot could have been Murry and Joyce getter captured by KGB and they go to prison to find Hopper idk Brian washed or something lol But 4 episodes max for this plot! Like... please
Oh but to improve this season, more bike scenes... like way more... I was noticing a lack of them... tho I will give props for the upside down one that was pretty sweet...
Last things to improve this season is in the intro change it back to "A Netflix Original Series" "A Netflix Series" feels slightly off to be lol but I'm just weird like that
And speaking of intros, add Joseph Quinn. Eduardo Franco as Series Regulars they Deserved it
Ok thats it thanks for reading byeeeeee!!!

Totally forgot about this story til today.
So in 2018 I was working a summer contract in the Berkshires, Massachusetts. The town we were staying in is very small but still spread out, so despite being in the same town I had to drive from my work/housing, to the downtown strip to get lunch and the post office.
So on this day, I needed to send a custom prop I made through the post office, so I figured I would send my package and quickly run across the street afterwards to get my deli sandwich. Well as I am standing in line at the post office, so Karen style boomer comes thundering in screaming about how that big ugly red truck has been parked too long outside. I politely looked up to her and tried to say how I had literally been on line for maybe 3 minutes if that. But she was having none of it.
“You are lying”, “You shouldn’t even be driving that ugly thing”, “I need to park there” etc etc
I tell her I will move in a few minutes, but she starts screaming about the police and storms outside. By the time I finished sending my package and got outside, she was screaming on the phone with the police about how I was parked illegally… in a post office parking space.
While she’s on the phone I hop in my truck, pull out and drive the maybe 20 ft to the open spot on the other side of the street in front of the sandwich shop. This pisses her off more and she starts going off about how I am fleeing the scene.
Well of the town police officers was in the sandwich shop, so he comes out and confronts this woman that nothing I had done was illegal and she could have her spot now.
I don’t know what else happened because I went and got my sandwich and by the time I got out, she was completely gone. She didn’t even end up parking there.
The whole situation took maybe 20 mins and the kicker was that there were plenty of open spaces both in the post office parking lot and on the street.

Hello!
First time renovator here needing some help with bricking in an external door, brick veneer house 1981 build, Door is 2050mm H x 600mm W.
I've done some researching but am left with a few questions to be sure about before proceeding. Hubby and I are pretty handy but never have tackled brickwork before so forgive me if I'm a total noob!
This door has never been used and this house has two back doors- one in laundry & one in the corner of the kitchen. The kitchen door is the one we wish to close in to facilitate new kitchen install- inside wall will only have 1x 600mm cabinet hung off with fridge below so not a lot of load bearing.
From what I've researched we should proceed like this:
1- remove door & frame 2- assess the lintel- question 1- is this necessary if one exists and what would I be on the look out for? 3- build in new stud wall 4- brick up- tooth in, new brickwork in utilising ties - question 2- are ties necessary in such a small cavity ? 5- sheet up inside etc
Any help or suggestions on the brickwork side would be greatly appreciated, planning on doing the job this weekend hopefully in one day.

So we went and looked at a home Monday morning and on a scale of 1-10 it's like a 8.5-9. It checks almost every box for us. So the Wife and I left, and said let us mull it over because it's at the top end of our price range. This morning we asked her for whatever information she had on the house..

1. House was built in 2003 (huge plus for us since it is a newer build)
   
2. Added a island into the kitchen along with 1 bathroom redone.
   
3. Roof replaced in 2019.
   
4. Asking price is $520,000, comparable comps fall into the range of $450 - $475k (comps seem to be slightly older than the house we are looking at.
   
5. Issues with the house - AC unit will need replacing soon, as unit is 15 years old (Mind you this is Florida) Vinyl fence needs replaced in several areas as is it falling apart, only half the sprinkler system in the yard works, several random concrete slabs in the back yard will need removed (concrete is already cracked, some areas have grass and weeds growing through it. Very random why there are slabs in the backyard. our thoughts is maybe they had a boat parked there, or sometime of shed, unsure.
   

Kitchen has a new island installed, along with only cabinets on one side of the wall replaced (other side appear to be original and do not match), with what looks like mostly newish appliances (would guess 3-4 years old). Master bath is outdated and appears to need a facelift.

1. The real kicker... Owner owes $35,000 ($265 a month at 5% interest) on a 4 year old solar panel system.

So we were speaking with our realtor and told him that we want to offer the following
$500,000, and the owner pays for the solar panels. We also asked that our offer is contingent obviously based off of inspection but we would also like a copy of the HOA bylaw's / rules + financials.
Our agent asked us to reconsider our offer and sleep on it tonight prior to our scheduled phone call tomorrow. He didn't flat out say it, but is telling us really think about the asking of the buyer to pay for the solar panels as he doesn't think that the seller will go for it, and that in his experience, the cost is passed onto the buyers. He was also questioning why we would want to ask for the HOA financials as he has never had a client ask for them previously and doesn't see that as something we should be worried about..
But in our minds with the seller expecting us to pay off the solar panels THEY bought, they are valuing their home at 555k which is $75,000 more than the high end of the comps..

So this has been an ongoing issue but I think I've reached breaking point. Before kids, my (f32) husband (m37) was so excited to be a parent. He would criticise any dead beat dad's and swore he would be extremely active and all the works. Well kids are now 1 & 2 and very active. I do 80-90% of all the house work and parenting. We both work (me less than him and he is the breadwinner). I am also studying.
I sacrificed everything to be with this man. I stayed by his side when he couldn't have kids (we had miscarriages and went through IVF several times) and a lot more other things most people would leave for. I could ride or die with him through everything.
Except now!
He thinks it's ok for me to do all the activities with the kids. Yes I am happy to be with my kids full time. But it annoys the living daylights out of me that his children are growing and meeting all their milestones and he just wants to sleep all day.
The last few weeks I have begged him to at least take them to the park. It doesn't have to cost him anything. Just his time. Well I lost my crap last week and told him he is missing out on our children's lives. Today (after a lot of pestering him and my daughter begging him) we went to the movies. (First time since we started dating about 12 years ago.) and he was just absolutely miserable and couldn't wait to get home.
Well the kids had a great time... Because we try not to show them any issues we may be having. And I just internally died. He does not want to be with us. He just wants to have his kids magically grow into great people with no effort. He may have wanted kids but didn't want to give up his old life to accommodate for these two beautiful girls.
The parenting is up to me. And yet he is happy to criticise me very step of the way. In the minimal time he is with them during the day (while I'm at work) he is very militant with them and my eldest I can see is starting to not want to be around him.
What should I do? I am constantly walking on eggshells and I hate that my children have a father who priotises his tv shows or sleep over them.
Tl;dr my husband is happy for me to single parent, but equally happy to criticise me every step of the way for how I parent.

Whether we’re an active participant or just an observer, I believe that, at some point in our lives, we experience something that is just seared into our heads, and buried into a part of our brain so hard that we recall every detail of it.
After all these years, I still remember the green jacket you wore, the red beanie, the brown boots, gray pants, and the rainbow bracelet you wore on your right hand. I can still hear the sound of your voice, laughing and giggling as you were trying to tell some embarrassing story about your grandma. You had a way of describing things that would make me want to hang on to every little detail, like if I missed something for a second, I’d be missing a crucial part of the story. I still recall the street we were walking on, our footprints left on the snowy sidewalk as we went in the direction of our neighborhood. You were living with your grandparents, and I lived with just my mom and dad.
Normally, when we reached past the knotted tree, you’d hug me and wish me farewell. But…you didn’t do that. You just stopped suddenly, at the foot of the paveway of your house. And then your smile slowly faded into a sullen look.
“Something wrong?” I asked concerningly.
“...”
When I was about to tap your shoulder, I heard the door open. I still remember your grandfather’s face as he stood there, inside his warmly lit home. I knew him, too, during our much younger days when we would have sleepovers. He’d usually be the biggest presence, and had a way of telling a mundane story as if it was the most whimsical adventure in a string of many he had in his youth. However, now there was only a powerful, dampening sense of loss radiating from him.
“Uh, everything alright, sir!?” I called out to him.
He looked at me for a second, and then he looked at you. “Kiddo, you might want to come in. I…Margaret, she…wants to see you.”
You stood there, still looking at the house, unmoving. Grandpa had to come out and grab your shoulder before taking you in. He must’ve been freezing, given he was only wearing a nightgown covered in a thick coat.
“You should go home, son,” he said, not facing me, “it’s getting colder.”
I stood there for a moment. Step by step, you and him took what felt like forever to get to the front door. As you both made it beyond the threshold, you turned over your shoulder, and all I could see were your eyes. They were bigger than I’d ever seen them, and they were looking right at me. You were looking right at me, and you looked so helpless and afraid of something.
But, instead of doing what I should’ve done, I turned and walked back to my house. It was the next morning that I found out what had happened. After that, you moved and I hadn’t seen you since. That was years ago today, but the memory still plays on repeat during snowy days like these. I also moved after college, to the big city, but sometimes I go back to visit the folks and, when I walk around, I stop at the exact same spot I was standing in. And, I wonder: if I had thrown whatever was holding me back into the cold wind and ran to hold your hand, would that have made you stay? Maybe just being by your side would’ve been enough, I don’t know. I’ll never know now. All I can do is just remember it, and live with the memories of what you and I did and didn’t do.
I wonder if you also remember everything about that day. And, if there’s any chance we’ll meet again, I hope you’ve forgiven me.

Okay so bit of backstory, my father is definition of rags to riches. He's very classist and i[16f] take after him, both physically and ideologically. I've learned lots from him.
And ik he loves he and i do feel his love but he's just not the best dad. I am youngest child so i am the scapegoat of the family. Times and times i've found myself sacrificing my own feelings so that it won't ruin others mood. Which has now became a habit by now. I choose not to speak about my feelings because i am afraid it would ruin others mood. My sister and i have a 6 year age gap and my father wanted her to fulfill his dream, the one which he couldn't achieve due to lack of funds and his parents not being supportive. She failed and failed so she had to take a different route. But they invested lots of time in her and sorta forgot me. I had to sort things out for myself. I had to all the cleaning, dishes, laundry and cooking because my sister all of them would be ar work. I am doing this since last year but now i don't because we have maids as my academic year is starting next week.
This happened recently i was shifted to my sister's room because my grandmother (his mom) who is pretty bed ridden was shifted there so that my grandmother and my grandmother's caretaker would use it. He did not even asked me if i wanted to leave, i was told and shifted. Last weekend he and my mom forced to go to some baby shower where i did not wanted to go but i only went so that my mom won't feel awkward there. Again, i disregard my feelings and forced myself out of house. When we came back and i was telling how it was being he asked. He called me dumb saying idk how to answer. That too in a solmen tone not a teasing one.
Last night i was making coffee because i kinda need it before night idky i just need it. He yelled at me saying it wasn't the time. I do get his point because surely it was late and i would usually sit in my parents room after making my coffee because my sister would be sleeping in hers. They need to wake up early. He started saying how selfish i was to not think that they need to wake up around 4 and they would get less sleep because yk if i sit there i would switch on lights.
Now i do understand him and know i was wrong. I may have overlooked their side and he could've told that to me. There was no need to yell. But to call me selfish is just outrageous. Tbh i just kept quite let him yell at me. My parents do fight infront of me and my siblings, i've witnessed more of it because it was in early days and during those times she would've either been at school or busy.
Ik i am traumatized to a point where someone yells at me i cannot look at them in eye, i feel panicked and stuff. But when yesterday my father yelled at me, sure i felt terrible but also idk i just felt nothing. Younger me would've panicked but these times now i get yelled i just don't feel anything. Mind you this year is very important for me academically so if i won't get good grads i will be yelled at and i am just desperately clinging onto the hope that i get good consistent marks this year so i leve.
This was just a rant i needed to do because i am afriad of opening up to my frnds and potentially burdening them with my problems when they are all burnt out sm academically rn. Idk if he gave me daddy issues (i guessing yes) but yeah i just want to leave asap.