I tried reading all the other articles mentioning her name to find more info. At first, I could only find her first and last name along with her middle initial and her age. One of the articles above, which was written in April of 2022, says she was 29 at the time. This means if she is still alive she is either 31 or 32. Another article mentioned she was from South Carolina so I used this info and I was able to find two addresses to add to my evidence. It seems she moved from South Carolina to Virginia around 2020-2022. Coincidentally the most recent house attached to her name was the same city she talked about in the lawsuit so I’m almost positive it’s a match.
There is one other name that is a possibility that is the same age and lived in Georgia. I also found out there was an alternate spelling of her name with two E’s, which can be done intentionally if you don’t want to sign paperwork under your name or if you’re trying to hide your real identity. (My great-grandfather on my dad’s side switched a letter in his last name before he immigrated to the States back in the early 1900’s. He had been to prison in Ireland and wouldn’t have gotten approved for his visa or whatever the equivalent was at the time.)
A lot of details could just be mistakes by these free Osint sites like the one below. Especially with free ones like the one I used, most of the information unless it can be verified should be taken with a grain of salt. https://inteltechniques.com/tools/index.html
The house she was living in during the trial is in Virginia and the one site said it was paid for up front in September of 2021. It cost 1.2 million dollars and is in a pretty wealthy area of Virginia. One source says her first connection to the house was around August 2020. Two sources say her last attachment to the house and P.O. box was around August of 2022, which would have been a few months after all the court business. She also had a PO Box address listed in both states. The one in Virginia wasn’t too far from her house, but the one in SC was over an hour away from the apartments she lived in before the move. Since the last recorded date attached to the house and PO Box are the same, I think it’s safe to say that she moved to Virginia some time in 2022.
I decided to look at both of the addresses and PO Boxes and the other names connected to them. To stay on track and for privacy, I’ll only mention the people who were associated with the house during the same time Mesha was. Unfortunately, her place in SC was an apartment complex so I couldn’t find much more than that. There were also no real significant attachments to the PO box.
The PO box in Virginia is also attached to a woman who was marked as 124 years. Aside from a phone number, which I’m guessing is a dead lady, there is no other info on her profile. The owner of the home in Virginia appears to be a man in his fifties who has been associated with 5 other homes in the same city in Virginia along with one condo and another home about 2 hours outside Houston, Texas. Looking at the places they are all very modest aside from the house attached to Mesha and one other nearby that also cost a little over a million dollars. He appears to have owned the home Mesha stayed at up until March of 2024 when he moved into a little family home in the same city.
Another one of the people marked as living in the house was a woman very similar to Mesha’s age who had 3 other addresses on file. Looking at the dates it appears she grew up in a tiny little house in the sticks of Virginia, then moved to a cheap apartment, then moved into the mansion with Misha, and got another separate apartment a month later. In March of 2024, her name was taken off the lease and a month later it was also taken off the apartment. A couple of weeks ago another address went on file for a hospital in Virginia. I thought this was strange so I looked at the rest of the people who were marked as living at the address while Mesha was there.
One of them was a woman in her seventies who lived in the same house that Mesha did from September of 2021 to December of 2022. Aside from that, her 5 other houses were in California. The one that goes until 2013 is a multiple-million dollar mansion near Palo Alto that appears to have been paid for upfront. The second one she left at the end of 2016 appears to be a store, possibly with an apartment on top in San Francisco. The third is a multimillion dollar mansion in wine country and it has her on the record up until March of this year. There were also two PO Boxes in the same area of wine country, one up until January 2015 that was linked to a flower business, and the other which was up until March of this year and is linked to a wine barrel production company. The current house she lives in is another million-dollar home in the same general area.
Another name attached to the house in Virginia belonged to a man also around the same age with the same last name as the lady above so I’ll assume it’s her husband. He had four homes attached to him along with two PO Boxes. One of the houses was in Pennsylvania, while the other three were in California. Two of the houses were the same ones that his wife had on her profile and the two PO boxes were the same as well. What I found very interesting was the fact that he left all those addresses in March of 2024 and the most recent one connected to him is the same one that Mesha lived in. It appears he moved in right around the time the other lady’s address switched to the hospital.
There were a few other names that popped up in the search that might have lived there at some point. One of them is most likely the son of the couple who lived there, the only one I could connect for sure though is a 31-year-old man from Durham, whose association with the house started around the same time in May and seems ongoing. While looking into all of the court cases connected to Drake I found another court case from 2019 in Virginia accusing Mesha of defrauding a hotel.
After that I looked everywhere I could only find a few mentions of Mesha Collins anywhere on the web, even on social media. The one name that kept popping up was an actor named Misha Collins. The most obvious connection to Drake is that both of their moms are Canadian and their dads are from the States. That doesn’t mean much, but I found his career arc kind of odd along with his back story. I also found a tweet he made that kinda connects him to the situation. Still, if there is any connection he probably just knows Drake from the industry. https://x.com/mishacollins/status/855135669890437120?lang=en
This is another one from one of Misha’s costars from Supernatural https://x.com/jarpad/status/855236923471708160?lang=en
A random Tumblr post isn’t a source and is most likely fanfiction, but I found this interesting. https://www.tumblr.com/go-diane-wincheste183189140191/misha-collins-is- like-a-pedophile
One thing I was wondering if he could be one of his political connections in the US since he started his career working at the White House during the Clinton presidency and was involved in the Monica Lewinsky stuff. Apparently, he isn’t of Russian descent, but his mom gave him a Russian-sounding name because her dream guy was Russian and he said she was a “pro-communist hippy”. I read somewhere that the furthest he could trace back his ancestry was six generations all from Canada and he was the first generation born in the States. This could mean he has some VERY deep roots, similar to Drake’s mom’s side of the family. On the other hand, he also says he was extremely poor as a child and his parents had a hard time keeping a roof over their heads. https://web.archive.org/web/20131230135930/
http://www.everyjoe.com/ 2008/09/24/entertainment/misha-collins-answers-our-top-3-qs/
Before I begin my schizo conspiracy theory I just want to make it clear, just because the majority of these conspiracies seem right leaning, it’s only because the majority of the entertainment industry lean left. This does not mean that either side is worse than the other, I’m sure they both do plenty of sketchy shit around election time. The only reason I’m bringing this up in the first place is because Misha Collins is very into politics and a huge supporter of the Democrat party. I could care less about politics if it’s not related to the entertainment industry. I try to make sure it’s somewhat connected to Drake, Kendrick, or the events leading up to or following their feud. Considering that before ’08, which is the year Obama was elected, there was very little mention of him on the internet and the fact that most of the articles I found were about his political views, I can’t help but feel he might be like the political version of an industry plant (some conspiracy folks refer to them as “crisis actors”).
I could easily see them hiring young aspiring actors and getting them started in the industry on the condition that they act as a mouthpiece for their political campaigns. Another possible example of this is Kal Penn, but he had a career before he went into politics so it’s a little different. I did find it interesting that Kal Penn came out not too long ago and apparently Misha Collins came out of the closet then took it back later and pissed off a lot of fans.
Aside from some bit roles in some obscure films and TV shows starting in ‘02, his biggest role was on the TV show Supernatural where he had a recurring role from 2008-2020. There was another post on his Instagram showing he had a direct connection to Michelle Obama who also was connected to the whole Jussie Smollett incident, which many would consider political interference and is still playing out in court to this day. I went into this topic more in another piece I wrote a few weeks ago as well.
The earliest source I could find on Wikipedia was in 2011, right before Obama won his second term. It seems he kind of popped up out of nowhere in ’08. The first thing I saw about him when I searched was a giant campaign he did with a bunch of comedians featuring random B through D list actors and actresses. They all did a video together in 2013 where they all took a big dump on Trump and supported Hillary in the presidential race. I couldn’t find the link again when searching, but I did include a similar example below. https://ew.com/article/2016/11/09/misha-collins-emotional-election-video/
Interestingly this was around the time the political propaganda ban was lifted making it legal again in the United States. This has been blamed for the rise of disinformation in the media and politics making their way into the entertainment industry. https://foreignpolicy.com/2013/07/14/u-s-repeals-propaganda-ban-spreads-government-made-news-to-americans/
After Supernatural ended in 2020, he pretty much went back to doing small parts until last year when he won the leading role on his own CW show. It’s one of the superhero shows with ties to the DC universe. In one interview he said that as a child his family struggled with housing stability, but he went to the University of Chicago and got a job a few years later working at the White House for a couple of months during Clinton’s presidency. He could have gotten a scholarship, but my buddy got his degree from there about ten years ago and it was NOT cheap. I also find it interesting that Obama is also from Chicago and so is Jussie Smollett.
One recent movie that’s a good example of government propoganda is the new movie Civil War and the one that came out on Netflix recently called When the World Ends, which is about an attack on the US power grid and another foreign country sowing the seeds to start a civil war in the US. It was also produced by the Obama’s who have also been accused of trying to censor Dave Chappelle while Obama was campaigning for the 2008 presidency.
Right around the time Misha got his first leading role in 2023, he was also heavily involved in the Russia/Ukraine war. Even though he’s Canadian, he went to Ukraine and made a bunch of videos supporting them. Considering the amount of anti-Russian rhetoric at the time, plus the fact it started around the same time as the propaganda ban being lifted, it seems kinda fishy to me. https://english.nv.ua/life/us-actor-misha-collins-arrives-in-kyiv-to-show-support- for-ukraine-50328295.html
Aside from that he’s also done a lot of philanthropy throughout his career and seems like a decent dude. Like I said there is a very good chance he has nothing to do with this whole situation. One theory I have is that when someone sues somebody famous for any reason and they want to cover it up, it would be a good idea to use a celebrity name or one that is one letter off so it will dominate Google search results. For example, I have the same name as a very well-known politician from the early 2000 and his name fills up the Google search results. If my theory of Misha working for the democratic party is true he might have been paid by Drake’s crisis management team to take the attention off their case.
I found his first post on TikTok to be a bizarre video where he talks about why he’s joining the site in the first place. The second comment asks if he’s being held hostage. Like I said I don’t know the guy, he might just be acting weird like a lot of celebs or he’s completely shitfaced. If my theory is correct though this could be some contributing evidence. https://www.tiktok.com/@mishacollins/video/7003144713696054534
This Reddit post also talks about his stance on the Israel Palestine situation. https://www.reddit.com/Supernatural/comments/17xfyu4/im_curious_what_are_your_thoughts_on_misha/
Aside from that, I couldn’t find anything else that stuck out to me on TikTok or any other social media sites for the Mesha Collins involved in the Drake stuff. This doesn’t mean there isn’t though I’m not on any social media so I’m not very good with that kind of stuff.
When I changed up the search settings to show only results from before or after the court case, the only articles that popped up were about a thirteen-year-old from Vancouver who went missing, but she was found not long after. I was able to find her on social media too and there was nothing that would connect to him in any way. Another article that popped up was about a woman from Houston nicknamed “Southpark Shawty.” She apparently also went by Mesha Collins and she apparently passed away in 2019 from undisclosed health issues. This is the only article I could find that says her name was Mesha Collins and it’s from 2024. https://inckredible.com/what-happened-to-southpark-shawty/
I also find it interesting she was a victim of a hit and run two years prior, not long after Mesha was arrested for allegedly breaking into Drake’s home. Interestingly in the article below it said her name was Shantel Nelson. The rest of the articles also had that name and when I looked it up the I did find a 53-year-old woman with the same name attached to a lot of different apartments and homes in Houston and a few spots in Louisiana. I thought the timing was odd considering a lot of stuff seems to be getting wiped from the internet and the fact it came out right around the time the feud started. I wonder if Drake is trying to distract people by sending them down the wrong path. https://www.fox26houston.com/news/internet-sensation-southpark-shawty-recovering-after-hit-and-run
I was wondering if she may have gone viral around the time of the original break in to distract from the case. This is also similar to my suspicions about the actor Misha Collins. I tried finding any connection between Shawty and J Prince since they both lived in Houston. I found that the South Park neighborhood in Houston is in the third ward while J Prince was born in the fifth ward. These two areas are some of the most crime-ridden areas in Houston.
Obviously the odds of her being connected to anything sketchy involving J Prince are pretty slim; however, I did find a video of Snoop Dogg visiting her in Houston back in 2016. In one of her posts she said they were cousins, but Snoop also says everyone is his cousin and it’s more just saying they’re family. It did seem like they were very close at one time though. I saw another article that said a lot of celebs reached out to her after she was the victim of a hit-and-run, but I couldn’t find ties to any other rappers. I thought it was interesting that she often sings in a lot of her videos and she has some pipes. It also seems like she may have been a rapper back in the day because she made a bunch of songs with a local producer over the past few years. I think it’s safe to assume she had some connection to the rap game or was a singer in the past. Considering Snoop and J. Prince have similar histories in the game, I imagine they must have some type of relationship. I go into this more in my actual post. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=cfaGVreak4M
The big inconsistency here is the two women’s ages. The Mesha who sued Drake would have been young enough to be South Park Shawty’s daughter though. I couldn’t find any mention of her having a daughter, but I also couldn’t find much info on her in general. One thing I thought was sad was the fact that a lot of people made fun of her for being a crackhead. Although she appears to have a history of substance abuse, you never really know. Some people are just naturally high energy and have lots of quirks and big personalities without the need for drugs.
There are also a lot of long term alcoholics and addicts who despite being sober still show the same behaviors. In the case of alcoholics it’s called, “dry drunk syndrome.” This is also a big reason why I can write almost an entire book in a month without really trying. I saw one video where she said she’s been sober for a while and appears to only drink and smoke weed similar to myself. I’ve also met a few people similar to Shawty and they were all very sweet people and very intelligent, as are many recovering addicts. It doesn’t mean she should just be written off as crazy or unreliable. I’ve noticed that many famous black entertainers have been dismissed and called crackheads whenever they start speaking out against the industry or if they have a mental breakdown from all their bullshit.
While looking into the South Park neighborhood I found out that Travis Scott grew up in that area up until he was like eight or nine. I decided to look into more rappers from the area and found the bio of a rapper who went by South Park Mexican and was charged with abusing multiple minors s.ually, including a nine-year-old, and was sentenced to forty years in prison. I find it interesting that his label Dope House Records signed under UMG two years before he was convicted. Considering J. Prince’s history with UMG and a few people close to the case claiming it was an extortion attempt carried out by the husband of a woman he had an affair with, I wonder if J. Prince may have played a part in it. There is a 99 percent chance he’s guilty, but it could be another example of an organized takedown. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/South_Park_Mexican
I also discovered another rapper who went by Gansta Nip who was one of the founders of the sub-genre horrorcore. He was on J Prince’s label and was also from the South Park neighborhood. He used to write for J Prince’s first group The Geto Boys way back in the day so he has connections in South Park.
Another thing that I found interesting was that Jaguar Wr*ght is from Dallas, which is known to be another hotspot for Texas rappers similar to Houston, but rarely gets much recognition. Along with Austin, they are the big three music cities in Texas, yet it seems like Dallas has always been slept on. I remember during her early interview Jaguar said she moved to Dallas to help foster and promote young aspiring musicians and help them get their footing in the industry without being taken advantage of. Sadly it seems she ended up doing that exact thing when she got a deal with Roku to make a TV show that she said would follow some of these talented up-and-coming artists. It appears that she was charging a subscription fee, but never actually posted any new content that wasn’t already available for free on YouTube or social media. Now pretty much every artist she promoted will have their names connected to a scam artist just by being involved with her. https://www.change.org/p/stop-ban-dalladelphia-oppose-jaguar-wright
I’ve also discussed in the past that she has been airing out some of Diddy and Jay- Z’s dirty laundry since 2022 and seemingly has protection. She also had some wild shit go down about a week after she accused Jay-Z of trying to keep her from boarding her plane in Dallas and was arrested at Chicago Airport. https://ktt2.com/jaguar-wright-arrested-after-allegedly-throwing-her-sons-ashes-32541373
Similar to Shawty, Jaguar is often accused of being a crackhead, but again it appears she may have had a history, but currently only smokes weed and drinks and most likely is struggling with mental illness. Sometimes the weight of these subjects is enough to drive someone crazy on its own, yet alone constantly being paranoid someone wants to take you out. To her credit, Jaguar was also known for being one of Jay Z’s background singers and did come up around the time Diddy founded Bad Boy and the Philly music scene was starting to get recognition. She often talks about how Jay Z has been going after her for revealing some of his past sketchiness along with many other artists from that era.
While I trust her about as far as I can throw her, she did drop a lot of facts about Diddy in the same interview and has been dropping a lot of shit the last couple of months. She also said she used to be married to Katt Williams, who was also accused of being a crackhead after apparently getting death threats for speaking out against the industry. If Dave Chappelle had to go to Africa when he did almost the same thing, I think he probably had every right to be paranoid as fuck. I’m sure some of Jaguar’s info is coming from him and he may even be directly responsible for her blowing up on YouTube right after he did his famous interview in January. I’ve been saying for a while now I think she has motivations way beyond revenge or advocacy, but she still shouldn’t be written off completely.
I wonder if J. Prince has anything to do with this and the Bryshere Gray stuff, which was the main subject of one of my posts here about coordinated takedowns. Considering he has similar motivations and the mob ties to protect Jaguar, it could be why she constantly doxxes herself and doesn’t seem to be too worried despite revealing shit that could easily get her green-lit. It would also explain a lot of my theories on the rise of all these influencers dropping insider knowledge of the industry and the criminal underworld that resides beneath it.
I also wanted to include some links to some other attempted invasions of Drake’s embassy. Along with Misha’s multiple attempts and the three attempts right after the beef, there have been a decent number throughout the years. https://pagesix.com/2021/03/30/woman-armed-with-knife-tries-to-get-into- drakes-property/
This guy claimed Drake was his dad and talks about him selling his place in West Hollywood with a lot of details about him selling his “Yolo Estate” in LA. Weirdly it was published by Breitbart which is a far-right news organization. https://www.breitbart.com/entertainment/2022/07/19/intruder-claiming-to-be-drake-son-arrested-at-rappers-los-angeles-home/
I guess this is one more person who made it through the front door. I wonder if Ye knows who it was? https://ktla.com/news/local-news/drakes-los-angeles-home-reportedly-burglarized-suspect-arrested/
This one was right after Mesha broke in and has more details about her as well. https://www.vibe.com/music/music-news/drake-intruder-hidden-hills-break-in-526090/#!
The rest of the evidence below is just extra bullshit, it’s not super relevant, but it may have some connection to all of this. It’s mostly about human trafficking in Houston. One area in Houston is considered a red-light district. An old friend grew up in the area and used to sell lean heavy so he had a lot of connections to the Houston underworld. From what he told me, shit goes pretty deep like most border states where all forms of trafficking are extremely prevalent. https://www.click2houston.com/news/investigates/2021/09/16/hpd-using-new- law-to-crack-down-on-those-paying-for-sex/
Below are a few more examples of Houston rappers charged with trafficking minors. If anyone has time I didn’t look into any potential connections with J Prince. Houston is massive and there is a huge rap scene so there is a good chance they may not have any connections beyond the city they live in, but you never know, there could be some supporting evidence to my theories. https://www.foxnews.com/us/texas-aspiring-rapper-sentenced-prison-child- sex-trafficking-reports
https://www.fox26houston.com/news/houston-rapper-big-face-tulu-accused-of- trafficking-and-assault-forcing-teens-to-work-for-food-and-shelter
https://www.khou.com/article/news/houston-rapper-jaimian-sims-found-guilty- of-sex-trafficking-of-a-mino285-9eebceb0-fce4-4244-84da-4fb2432c5479
https://www.fbi.gov/contact-us/field-offices/houston/news/press-releases/ houston-rapper-heads-to-prison-for-sex-trafficking-of-a-minor
Lastly, I can’t forget the infamous Houston rapper Viper, who was also possibly signed to SPM’s Dope House Records. He was also from the fifth ward in Houston, the same as J. Prince. https://www.houstonchronicle.com/news/houston-texas/crime/ article/lee-carter-houston-rapper-second-kidnapping- charge-18695638.php
That’s all I have on the case. I know it’s not super relevant, but it’s only a small section that I thought was a good example of how using OSINT techniques could help with finding connections. Also, it’s good to know how these things could be used against you if you’re not careful about managing your online footprint. If you’re just on this sub sharing links or information that is publicly available and couldn’t potentially be used as evidence in a R.I.C.O case, you shouldn’t worry too much. I’m probably gonna have to run the section I wrote about Drake and J. Prince’s mob ties by the mods before posting for this very reason.
To carry out many of these more advanced exploits you’d need teams of people working 24/7 and massive amounts of money to dedicate to each person who you want to keep track of. If they did have incriminating evidence and they planned to share more, they would probably have to kill the person or convince them in some way to stop posting. This usually involves cyber threats at first, and if you continue to post actual evidence they’ll probably get lawyers involved. If they do hire someone to make the threats in person I doubt it would escalate to anything physical or potentially life-threatening.
If they go as far as investing money in hiring a trustworthy goon who isn’t gonna flip on one of the richest and honestly douchiest celebrities in our current era, they most likely wouldn’t take such a major risk unless their freedom is genuinely on the line and your evidence was specifically related to their current case. Even if they do, because of how risky it is they’ll most likely just threaten you and they might get physical depending on the person who hired them’s feelings towards violence. I have another theory that all the dirt about Kendrick is true and Drake has been blackmailing him, possibly for the last 7 years. It seems like all of this insanity in the rap game has been brewing since at least 2016. This is the year all my favorite up-and-coming artists died one after another and the trend continued up until 2021. It’s also around the time Drake started getting in feuds with multiple rappers and was accused of threatening Ye with some type of blackmail. After years of being disappointed, I finally stepped away from discovering new artists in 2021 and started listening to more indie rock not too long ago.
I’m still kinda scared they are going to kill Gucci next, or Kodak, or my favorite newish rapper Lil Darkie. If any of them die suddenly it’s more likely than not someone in the industry wanted them dead because they all have spoken out and revealed shit about the industry. Hopefully, these types of things become less frequent if the alleged R.I.C.O case is legit and there is a movement behind the scenes of rappers trying to do away with the current status quo. It’s honestly sad how a couple of shitty rappers have hogged the spotlight for years, meanwhile, thousands of more talented artists are being slept on or flat-out ignored.
I hope that one thing that comes out of this whole ordeal is that these artists are given a chance to share their talents with the rest of the world without having to worry about possibly being killed if they don’t sign with the right label. If you made it this far you were able to find some of this information valuable. As I said this was just a long tangent I went off on while I was working on my original post. I’ll try to get the rest up soon.
One last thing I’ve noticed lately, it’s probably not related, but recently they changed the date filter feature on DuckDuckGo, forcing you to manually click back every month to get to the desired date. This makes it a pain in the ass to go back further than a couple years and when you try to click it really fast the arrow button moves around so you keep having to move your cursor or tap in a different spot. It’s strange because up until a week ago you were just able to type whatever date you wanted and it was so much easier to find articles from back in the day. This update is such a downgrade from the original it feels oddly intentional. I wonder if it has anything to do with the research currently being conducted along with removing articles that might be used as evidence. Has anyone noticed this as well?
Signing off for now,
The Randomest Moniker

I've been talking with my elderly parent about setting up a trust to put their home into. Their spouse died without a will so once that was all settled several years ago, my remaining parent set up a simple will that basically says their estate will be divided equally amongst me and my siblings. Parent has a home that's been long since paid off along with some investments that will pass to us, assuming there is any left after any end of life care and expenses there may be.
Based on family history, my parent has every likelihood of living 15 more years or more, so we'd be fine if all their money was spent on their care - but if there's anything left, we'd like to be good stewards of that. Also since my other parent passed, one of my siblings had children, so there are more grandchildren to consider.
I've asked my parent to consider rewriting the will to put money in trust for these new grandchildren and they are agreeable to that. They are toddlers now so this money could be set aside for their education or perhaps a nest egg to start their adult lives.
Looking for any recommendations of local estate attorneys versed in setting up these kinds of trusts.

okay so this might be long because i want to provide as much detail as possible so you can get the full picture. i (23NB) have lived in this NYC apartment for 4 years, and lived with one of my roommates (24F) (will be referred to as “A”) for the entirety of the time i’ve been in the city, which is 6 years. we were assigned roommates in college and just kept living together because at the time we were good friends and it worked! we had rotating 3rd roommates throughout the years and dealt with a lot of crazy shit together, including a violent roommate, but that’s a story for a different day. so this roommate and i had been having some issues for the past couple of years because she got addicted to ketamine. i felt responsible for her because it started out as us using recreationally together but she spiraled out of control with it and honestly the entire situation was just a lot on me. throughout her addiction she was doing, at one point, 16 grams in 3 days, so i was really worried that she would die, not to mention she doesn’t really test her drugs and was getting it from a neighborhood that’s notorious for fentanyl. it honestly became my full time job to take care of her, but at the end of the day I was just trying to be a good friend. after some therapy/self work, i now realize how enabling the role I was playing actually was, but it was just the position that I was put in and I had also never dealt with something like this before. I feel like for further context, i should add that A’s parents pay her rent and for a lot of things for her. she had a part time job at the time and was also in school but left due to her addiction. the situation that i am in is very different, my family does not support me financially and i pay for everything for myself and have made my way pretty much on my own. i’m pretty established in my neighborhood because I am a tattoo artist at a local shop and also have worked for 3 other businesses within the same few blocks. i also consistently have multiple jobs at once, now i have 3, and for a long time I was working 6 days a week. not really relevant to the situation but needless to say, i already have a LOT on my plate. anyways, so yeah. for about almost 2 years, i was dealing with my roommates addiction. i watched her overdose and throw up on herself 5-7 times, she projectile vomited all over the house, i have dragged her out of a pool of her own vomit, she would consistently lie to me about whether she was high or had bought ketamine, and our other friends and i would go through her room to make sure she wasn’t hiding it countless times, (to no avail obviously, she would always lie and say she didn’t have any more when she did, hidden in hard to find places.) it affected everyone in our friend group and in her life. but especially me because i was really the only person who was physically present for it all. i tried talking to her about it at first, and was very understanding and patient with her and genuinely was doing my best to help because she was my friend, we were really close, and I didn’t want to see her die or ruin her life. she also expected me to say something to her and would tell me that i should say something if i thought she was high. she would say this when she was sober and it started off an an “accountability partner” thing, but eventually became very codependent and unhealthy. even when i would ask her, she would lie. i made it very clear from the beginning that all of this was damaging our relationship, but i was still doing my best to be her friend and be there for her. at one point, i even took the drugs out of her room and hid them in mine to take to another friends house the next day to dispose of them, and she went into my room and found them. it reached a point where I made her call her parents and tell them what had been going on. calling her parents had honestly been in discussion for a while, and the sober version of her agreed that it needed to happen. she got a slap on the wrist and sent to the mental hospital for a few days, she even convinced them to let her out early! her parents also weren’t really involved in her care at all after because she has never been disciplined in her life, her parents think she can do no wrong. she relapsed soon after she got out and at this point, I started taking a lot more space for myself because I was mentally and emotionally drained and it was clear that all my efforts were in vain. this was after dealing with it for about a year. honestly, i should have definitely started planning on moving out around this point. the reasons I didn’t were the fact that i still considered A to be one of my best friends despite what we had gone through, all of my jobs are like a 5-10 minute walk away, and I also loved my room. i put a lot of time and effort into decorating it and I had also lived there for a long time and for a really great price, $850 for a huge room with a dishwasher, laundry in building, AND a rooftop i can smoke on outside my window with a view of a GREEN backyard with PLANTS. not some concrete bs. that’s UNHEARD OF in nyc. im also not really great with change, even if it’s for the best, and to be honest i was also naive and thought things would eventually go back to normal. this was a person that i previously trusted a lot, i didn’t think she would normally do these things to me. anyways, eventually she got sober and then my, at the time, best friend of 7 years from home, a state across the country, moved in. (22 F, let’s call her “B”) we met in high school and I was in the class above her. we only went to school together for a year before I graduated and moved to NYC, so for the past few years, our friendship had been over facetime/seeing eachother occasionally when I would come visit. B’s background is similar to mine, the state we’re from is very impoverished and we both left the religion we were raised as. another huge reason she moved here was so that she could start medically transitioning and get on estrogen. i was really excited for her and also wanted to support her in her transition, im also non binary and we come from a really transphobic state, so growing up queer in the south was like a huge part of our friendship, and when she moved in, she didn’t have a lot of gender affirming clothes, and i had a ton of clothes, so i gave her a bunch of mine, i sent her resources, lent her books/zines, point is i really was trying to support her, and before she moved in and even throughout us living together we would talk for hours about this stuff. also, normally, i would not feel the need to even mention the fact that someone is trans, but all of this is relevant to the story. i will also add that I know now to never live with friends! at the time, i thought it would be okay because I trusted her and we seemed to have good communication on roommate matters and i think we both had good intentions going into it. we would say things like “i don’t plan on moving out on bad terms” “we can communicate and respect eachothers boundaries!” etc. i also knew that she really wanted to move here because she had talked about it for years and she came and visited before she moved in. so yeah, things were great at first, but not for long. so I am someone who, like I said, am at work most of the time and when i come home from work I just want to relax and smoke weed and chill and if you know me in real life, you know that i’m not a very beefy person and it takes a lot to really make me upset, i’m generally chill about most things, honestly to my detriment. so the first signs of things starting to go south were when B started to say that I was ignoring her. this was confusing to me, as we hung out most days after I got off work, and she even had a job herself at the time, (she’s been fired twice in the past year and was unemployed on and off) so she wasn’t like completely trapped in the house all the time. I would try to inquire further and understand why she thought I was ignoring her, and reassure her that I’m listening. she started telling me that she needs a lot of reassurance, and i told her that I am happy to reassure her whenever needed! we talked it through and i genuinely started to put in a lot of effort into making sure i was being fully present during our time together and also making sure I was hanging out with her enough. this evolved into us having very extensive conversations for hours where she would bring up the fact that she still felt like i was ignoring her, and i would reassure that I was not purposefully ignoring her, im listening and really trying. and almost daily she would bring up a problem that she had with something that I said or did. she even at one point started tweeting about me, saying things like “do u even consider others?”. she also asked me to be on constant emotional monitoring for her, which i told her that i will not do that. i don’t really pick up on subtle social cues or “shade” and also it’s not my job to do that. if something upsets you, you can communicate with me about it instead of being passive aggressive or expecting me to be able to read your mind. plus, real friends don’t have to be responsible for every single emotion! at one point, she told me that she was mad at me because living together wasn’t living up the the idealized version of what she thought it would be. she would also guilt trip me like a LOT. she would be like “as a friend, you should be doing ____ for me” and her requests got more and more ridiculous as time went on, one of them being to basically force myself to start listening to a genre of music that i simply just don’t like or want to listen to during my own time, insinuating that i would be a bad friend if i didn’t like the same music as her. and to that, i tried to explain to her that we don’t have to like the same music in order to be friends and that i don’t care if she listens to music that i don’t particularly listen to on my own, although i am happy to listen to her recommendations, i am picky about the music I listen to. basically i felt like she was trying to find any stupid reason to say i was a bad friend. it started to really annoy me, because i already had a lot on my plate, and honestly i just didn’t have the bandwidth to be fully present all the time, especially after dealing with my other roommates addiction for so long. i needed space and time for myself really badly, and I felt like I was trying really hard to please her to no avail. all of this was incredibly exhausting to deal with. i tried to communicate this to B, but it never got through. during these very tedious conversations, B would say things that were extremely concerning, such as “You need to stop triggering me!!!” to which i responded, “okay let’s make a deal, i will be more mindful of your triggers if you work on managing them.” she would also constantly make accusations at me. for example, she accused me of laughing AT HER when i was not, and I was laughing at something completely unrelated. there were many other times that she accused me of doing and saying things that I never said or did. she would twist my words a lot, things i told her in confidence, and use them against me, adding an entire new meaning to what i was saying. and if i disagreed with her or got even a little defensive she would be like “You just pissed me off!!!!” i honestly felt like she was just picking on me and criticizing me at a lot of points, because I could literally breathe wrong and it would be an issue. i now realize that she actually just needs to create drama, but i didnt want to admit that at the time. again, during this time I was trying to be very calm during our conversations when trying to reassure her and explain myself, but internally I was very stressed out by all of this. at some point during all this, A relapsed. this was a disaster, B knew about the relapse and was lying to me about it. i was especially upset because the way A relapsed was she asked me to unlock the parental password on her phone so she could “update apps”, but instead she downloaded the app she uses to text her plug, so essentially she tricked me into enabling her relapse. i messaged her parents immediately and told them. at this point, i felt like it was expected of me to do that. of course, they basically did nothing for a while, it got really bad. A was basically not functioning at all. she would tell me that she didn’t care how she made me feel. our other friend came over and went through her room and babysat her to make sure she wouldn’t do ketamine but she pretended to go to sleep while he was literally crying next to her and she got up and did it right after he left. a lot of horrible things were said, i would express the fact that i hate that i can’t trust her, and she would scream back “i don’t want you to trust me!”, amongst many other awful things. we would hear loud snorting like every few minutes every single day, which was extremely stressful. she broke the stove because she was high, it was affecting the way she looked and her physical health, and at this point it was a safety concern for her and for B and I, because we did not want to be responsible if something happened to her and this was affecting us tremendously. eventually, B and I called her parents and told them a lot of details and begged them to send her to rehab, I had to send them a long text message being like super blunt about the fact that she needs to get professional help or she will die, and they were basically saying that ultimately it’s up to her, which was bullshit in my opinion, but she did end up going. during the time A was in rehab, things with B got progressively worse. a lot of weird and horrible things started happening, she berated me for like over an hour about one of my closest friendships, that she met once and got “bad vibes from”, i told her that I didn’t want to be put in a position where i have to defend my other friendships to her, especially ones that have nothing to do with her, and that this person is an extremely good friend to me, and that she didn’t have to be around her if she didn’t want to. i was asking her to stop but she wouldn’t! she was pulling bullshit reasons why i shouldn’t hang out with this person anymore out of her ass. for context, B drinks a lot, and she drank the night we all hung out while my other friend and i didn’t really drink. she was like “i actually HAD to drink that night because your friend was making me so uncomfortable!” which, that night was extremely normal and chill, nothing bad happened at all, also don’t blame me or anyone else for your own habits! she would pick fights almost daily. on halloween, we got drunk together with one of the people she was seeing at the time, and she ended up berating me in front of this person for ignoring her, not respecting her, etc and the person had to step in and tell her that she’s making pointed comments at me and not hearing me out, and that she was being horrible to me. (this is not the only time someone hung out with us together and then told her that she was being an asshole to me.) that night, she said a lot of hurtful things, such as “at least i don’t have a bunch of fake friendships!” (as if my friendship with her was the only “real friendship” i could have) and “you don’t have the lesbian experience you claim to have!!!!” (what does that even mean??? i’ve been lesbian since before we met lol) and she also falsely accused me of saying that being a lesbian is worse than being a trans woman, which i never said! i have never even thought that and that is not how i feel at all! at first i tried to explain everything using logic, but eventually i basically told her to stop projecting her insecurities onto me and to stop dragging me into her shit. she slammed the door in my face when we got home. we didn’t talk for like a month. during this month, i really needed some outside support, so i reached out to some trusted people to tell them what was going on and get some advice on what i should do/ how to handle the situation, and to get an outside perspective. honestly, that night was the straw that broke the camels back and sent me into a full mental breakdown from the stress of everything that had been going on in the house. i was like scream crying every single day for the entire month, unable to function at work, not thinking clearly at all. everyone in my life was telling me i should just move out asap. i think i was just extremely upset because I then realized that my relationships with both of them were not healthy, but i really cared about these people. i was extremely disappointed in how things were going, and i was also extremely worried about both of their wellbeings, i didn’t want anything to happen to them or to not have them in my life. and i was also upset that they had been being absolutely horrible to me and i was honestly just sick of being treated like shit by my roommates at this point. honestly i was an asshole when i would talk about it sometimes, but how was i supposed to be kind when everyone was being so cruel to me for no reason? i was honestly really mad, especially because B knew the stress of taking care of A, like why are you adding to the intense stress i already had just experienced?? during this time, i realized that all of this was happening because of B’s untreated BPD. to clarify, i do not care about people having bpd or other mental health disorders as long as you are not hurting other people, which, B was hurting me a lot and honestly our relationship was pretty destructive to my mental health. i also realized that these friendships were wildly codependent and unhealthy, and I needed to set boundaries. i can only take so much abuse!!! and i felt like a scapegoat for both of them and a crutch in the situation. although i still cared for these people, i knew that this was not sustainable long term. i could not handle the weight of A’s life on my back or the way I was being treated by either of them, or the fact that my home was not actually safe. at first, i was going to move out and take a break from the friendships, with the intention of hopefully rekindling when we were all in healthier places, but also the need to move out felt super urgent. the stress from this entire situation had leaked into every area of my life. i was doing poorly at work, every person in my life was telling me how i needed to get out asap because this shit was bad for my health and they had watched my mental health deteriorate because of it but i really didn’t want to move, i had lived there and known these people for so long. after chatting with other people who have bpd who are in therapy and live an emotionally healthy life, they told me that what really helps people with bpd is if you are honest with them and encourage them to seek treatment, as well as setting clear boundaries around their behavior. i was the closest person to her at the time, so i wanted to be honest with her and try to help, i wrote both of my roommates long text messages explaining how i felt and what my boundaries were moving forward. they did not take this well! they started justifying their behavior to eachother, and made me out to be the villain in the story. A told B that i told other people she had bpd, which i did do! but i did that because i needed support and advice, and I also couldn’t handle the horrible treatment i was receiving, the weight of all of this was extremely heavy. not because i was trying to “turn people against her”, as they were trying to make it seem like. this is a real life adult issue, not some petty sides picking bullshit, and i genuinely needed support because everything that was happening was making me feel insane and extremely stressed out. I even previously asked A not to say anything to B to make the situation worse and that at this point I just wanted to have conversations surrounding solution. B was upset that I told people what was going on and accused me of being manipulative. i honestly understand why she would be upset about that, it’s a very stigmatized disorder and it wasn’t really my place to share that information. i also told these people those things in confidence, i didn’t expect them to tell her i said anything to try to make the situation worse. and i also only told people that i trusted and honestly i just wanted help and support and an outside perspective and to express my feelings. after i sent the long text messages to my roommates, (i let B read hers in person so we could have open dialogue and A hers while she was in rehab so she could talk about it in therapy) (also i know that long text messages are not the best way to communicate and work through issues, im going to avoid doing that in the future) B’s response was basically something like, yeah i have bpd and yes I was projecting my shit onto you and lashing out at you, but I used to do way worse things to people. but thank you for typing this out and i’m gonna start going to therapy and working on it. she also said something like “well. friendships are through the good, the bad, and the ugly. sorry that you saw my ugly side!” like. okay. a real apology would be nice lol. in the days after this, i ended up having a huge mental crisis from all of the overwhelming stress and could not function properly, i had to go to the hospital. once i got back from the hospital, all I wanted to do was work on myself. i started creating distance from them and going back to therapy and al anon, and really started trying to pull my own shit together. i apologized for telling other people and said that I wouldn’t tell anyone again, and i didn’t. A’s sibling and i suggested that we go to family therapy so that we could have healthier relationships, A’s parents even offered to pay for it, but it never actually happened. things were kind of okay for the next few months. i wasn’t as close to either of them, but i was okay with that because I needed space and to be able to focus on myself. i talked about it a lot with a therapist, and i was essentially trying to maintain the friendships in a non codependent way. i honestly just kept to myself for a while and started taking a lot more alone time. forgot to mention, another reason they were mad at me was because I was going to move out on short notice (before i went to the hospital), but I also was going to find someone to fill the room to make the process less stressful for them, and i was vetting people to make sure they would be a good fit, and i wanted A and B to meet and approve of the person. i needed to get out of there as fast as possible, but i wanted to put effort into finding someone compatible with them. i already had a place to go lined up, but it fell through (the stress of trying to move also contributed to me going to the hospital and the situation i was going to go into seemed great at first but turned out to be a complete mess), and i also felt really guilty and horrible, so i ended up staying and trying to repair and maintain the relationships while also taking adequate alone time and upholding my boundaries. anyways, a few months pass, all i have been doing at this point is working on myself and going to work and coming home and chilling, there hasn’t really been much conflict besides the normal A being a passive aggressive asshole (which she always has been. looking back, i don’t even know how i was friends with someone like this) and B would still say disturbing things every once in a while, such as comparing me to past friendships that didn’t work out, and at one point she even flipped the narrative subtly to make it seem like i “had an outburst for no reason”. (when she is actually the person who had the outbursts towards me), and generally just blame shifting a lot in subtle ways, saying I was the one who “changed the dynamics of the house”, even though all I did was set boundaries and take time for myself, plus, the previous dynamic obviously was not working. but honestly i was just kind of ignoring it. at this point the dynamic has been A and B spending most of their time together, (they also have a codependent friendship) and me mostly keeping to myself, but hanging out occasionally and being cordial in the apartment. I was okay with that because I really just wanted alone time anyways, and I made it clear to them that I need time to work on myself, which i was doing a lot of, and B started therapy so I thought we were all just kind of working on ourselves at this point and trying to move forward. so one day, A and B go back to A’s home state together for a week, i was honestly a bit upset by this because we originally planned to all go together, we have all always gone together in the past, and honestly i thought things were chill now that everyone was in therapy, plus we had hung out on purpose occasionally. nope! once they got back, they told me I had to move out! i was extremely upset by this. honestly i was at my wits end with their bullshit, especially since A had continued to be an asshole to me even when i was still being kind and normal to her. honestly i am glad I had to move out, my life is going to get a lot better now that I don’t have them in it, but I was still just like. pissed because honestly my only objective this entire time has been to exist in my house and also I just felt like it was unfair especially considering the fact that they were the ones who were causing the issues, although I do recognize my part in them. i was codependent AF and trying to fix my friends, enabling horrible things to happen in my life to the point of going actually insane, i had extremely poor boundaries in the name of trying to be a good friend, and i should have left a long long time ago. but anyways, when they told me I had to move out, i basically said that I agreed and that I didn’t want to live with them anymore, i slammed my door and blocked them both on instagram, i also removed all of my personal belongings from the common areas. thankfully, my real friends were all there for me during this time and letting me crash on their couches. i didn’t really want to be in the apartment. within the next few days, i started getting harassed over text by their friends and unfollowed by people who were associated with them. they started going on a smear campaign against me! their friends started harassing me over text, saying “you need the mental hospital. stop pissing in glasses and stop speaking on trans people. seek the maximum amount of help possible” so basically, at this point, they’re basically telling people things that are blatantly untrue. i have never pissed in a glass before, in fact, i know B has pissed in cups in her room for her whole life (probably where she got the idea from) besides, pissing in cups isn’t a crime! also, at this point, i thought we had already talked out and worked through the me telling people about B’s BPD. so i messaged them and I was like. “can you guys please stop slandering me. this has been a traumatizing situation for all of us. honestly i would prefer for this to be as smooth as possible. i have not pissed in a glass and i have no idea what i even said about trans people that was offensive or hurtful” and they responded by saying “we have proof you were misgendering me and the shit we found out was before A’s relapse and before we had a fight”. so basically, while they were on vacation, they went LOOKING for things to use against me. A’s relapse was 8 months ago at this point, why are you digging stuff up from back then to use against me now?? i also have no idea when i misgendered her, and it was obviously a complete accident. i went through every message i sent in the past year that had anything to do with her and couldn’t find any misgendering. at this point, i did not inquire further because I was sick of having to defend myself to someone who is committed to misunderstanding me and also manipulating the situation to make me seem like a bad person. honestly, i don’t care much about the smear campaign, because most of those people i didn’t really like anyway, and the ones i did who believed them, i know now that they’re not my real friends. (even though it’s the same people saying that the way I was treated by A through her addiction was incredibly unfair to me, and asking why she is doing this to me. how dare I be actually affected?!) although the saying i’m transphobic thing is really frustrating, especially considering the fact that i literally invited you to come here SO THAT YOU COULD TRANSITION and the fact that I am also non binary. but also, how are you going to come into my home after I invited you to move in with me out of the kindness of my heart, start yelling at me and attacking me constantly and disrespecting my boundaries, kick me out of MY OWN HOUSE, and then smear my name, saying things that are blatantly untrue, to people i knew for years BEFORE YOU MOVED IN, who I INTRODUCED YOU TO ???? anyways, B went into my room while i was at work and took all of her artwork off my walls, which i don’t care about the artwork, but her going into my room made me really uncomfortable, so I installed a lock on my door until I could move out. B also ripped my mentor at the tattoo shop’s artwork off of the walls, stole it, and when i demanded it be returned it was returned to me vandalized. (she knows that my mentor wants the best for me and supports me in many areas of my life). so at this point, i’m being harassed and my items are being stolen. i had to get out of there asap, at this point it was a safety concern, it has honestly been a safety concern this entire time. so I ended up finding a place that’s the same amazing price and great quality in the area that’s still close to my jobs with people who are actually healthy and normal!!! and i moved out a month before I was supposed to because my mom and the rest of my support system agreed that it was not safe for me to stay another month, i didn’t tell them that I was moving early because I knew they would damage my things. It took me 2 days to move, and the night in between me moving, they stole my bike and put it out on the street. and A admitted that she did it out of spite because I moved early. so I stole some things back to get even and I also did not repaint or repair the room like I was supposed to, (i was going to originally before my bike was stolen) but I left her my deposit to cover the repainting etc. i also unfortunately dumped old protein shake on the floor out of pettiness and hatefulness. i am not normally like that but I was FUMING. that was definitely that angriest i have ever been in my life. i ended up paying the rent for the month I wasn’t there. But A still decided to message me on facebook, where I forgot to block her and send me an invoice with a bunch of “damages” to the apartment, demanding that I send her $1700 to get the entire floor replaced, new doors, etc. her numbers were ridiculous, it was a bunch of bullshit and I told her that i wasn’t paying it, to never contact me again, and blocked her. her parents pay her rent, it’s not about the money for her it’s about being a vindictive and entitled bully. plus, i really don’t owe her shit at this point. anyways, i have learned a lot of lessons from all this and am working on acknowledging my part in all of these issues and am going to start going to codependents anonymous to start rebuilding my life. obviously i have a lot to learn and work on within myself, and i was not perfect throughout this, even though my only intentions were to be there for my friends and exist in my own house. honestly i never want to see either of these people again! i hate them both so deeply for making my safe space unsafe, and for everything else they’ve done to me, including making my PTSD incredibly worse. and from now on I am going to leave friendships WHEN ITS TIME instead of dragging it out, and hopefully now I can choose better friends and have stronger boundaries, and in the future when tough situations arise i will be more equipped to respond in better ways. hopefully i never have to go through anything like this again!!

Trigger Warning This write-up does contain theories and info connected to politics, religion, divisive public figures, and a couple of Fortune 500 companies. I am in no way claiming or trying to promote any of the ideas or theories I share as facts and I encourage everyone reading to not just take every connection I made that you agree with and ignore the rest. I think it’s always good to paint a picture of your own instead of watching someone do it through a computer screen. It’s always good to do your research into whatever claims you think may have some validity and even those that don’t. Just because you don’t think something is significant doesn’t mean others won’t and you shouldn’t discourage anyone who is genuinely trying to move the sub in the right direction. We shouldn’t even engage the trolls because all it does is motivate them further and help them get more engagement on their posts.
I know my posts aren’t for everyone, but I encourage people to keep an open mind and to try to avoid any potential biases. Everyone has some, but as long as you stay aware, keep them minimal, and try to stay as neutral as possible you’re good. If you notice all of your material is painting a negative perception of a specific group it’s good to try to put yourself in others’ shoes. I’ll never know the experience of growing up in a dangerous environment, being hated and victimized based on things I can’t control, and the generational trauma all these things can cause which is still being passed down to this day.
While I do have hope for Gen Alpha, I’m afraid that by the time they reach adulthood, there may not be many good mentors and visionaries that have stemmed out of the adversity caused by the social policies that are currently causing such massive division between the younger and older populations. It doesn’t help we have people in Hollywood making Civil War propaganda movies with 100-million dollar budgets. I go into this a lot more throughout the next few posts I just need to compile everything and edit it together, which often takes more time than actually doing the research and writing the facts. I did download Grammarly so that should help speed things up. I know that finding connections and tying them together is a bitch at first, but the more research you do the more you’ll start seeing the bigger picture.
Intro to Free OSINT Tools: How to Find Clues and Determine What’s Bullshit Or Not As I’ve said before, you can use people’s info to find related information without doxxing someone’s address or social media account. Most people are already aware of this, but for aspiring Reddit detectives, this might be a good little introduction.
I’ve been working on another mega-post and decided to share this part before I finish up the rest because this part contains a great example of basic OSINT. All the info below is free on the Internet, but if you have some money to blow you can also pay for government-level background checks on people. Some of these data collection services can cost up to 300 a month, but some are very reasonable. The one site I linked has full background checks for five dollars a pop. Some services even scan onion sites for more related info. With the rise of AI, data collection is getting better and better. Now they can collect samples of your writing and analyze your speech patterns to tie them to other accounts. If someone were to take all my posts here and feed them into one of these programs, I’m sure if I had any type of social media or if they hacked one of my accounts and could collect my messages, it would be very easy to match my Reddit account to my real identity. This technology is probably in its infancy stages right now and what’s available to the public is probably only helpful for public figures or if you have a lot of info publicly available on social media. Regardless you should always be careful of how large of a footprint you leave online. You should assume that everything you do online is being collected and stored and may be used against you if someone has the money to access it.
A good example of the potential these programs have is in Drake’s diss track with the AI Snoop Dogg and Tupac verses. I go into Snoop a little more later on and I can’t help but feel like he’s compromised in some way. I found it odd that Snoop didn’t seem to care about his voice being used in a diss against a fellow LA rapper, but then again they are known to be associated with rival gangs. I assume Drake had to at least get some form of approval and I know he has ties to Canada. He even starred in a few episodes of Trailer Park Boys where the whole plot line revolves around him smuggling weed over the Canadian border back to the States.
Getting back on track here, I was honestly surprised by how well the program Drake used was able to mimic their voices and rapping style. I think this was Drake showing Kendrick that no matter how many songs he had, he could just feed them into the program and it could formulate a diss track that nearly perfectly resembles his cadence, flow, and rhythm on top of his voice in an authentic matter. I’ve heard recently of AI-generated Russian influencers that are made by either the Chinese or Russian governments, perhaps both, to create the image of a strong alliance between the two countries, and even some that promote marrying people from other countries. Some theorize this is to rebuild Russia’s male population since throughout history Russia and the USSR have a history of feeding their soldiers into the meat grinder for nationalistic purposes.
I think it’s very important that we take into consideration that the alleged dog video featuring Drake could be an AI deepfake and part of a coordinated takedown or a humiliation ritual. I know a few movie studios already have access to some of these programs and they claim they’re too dangerous to make publicly available. As we’ve seen though it’s only a matter of time before someone makes their own version and releases it for free. I think this is going to create a massive wave of synthetic and deepfake porn and I’m sure they could put Drake’s face over a porn actor and make it look pretty realistic. It reminds me of the episode of Black Mirror where the prime minister has to fuck a pig on live tv and they tried using a porn star and superimposing his face on him. Even Okproblem warned about the possibility of the dog video being AI-generated. It should be considered that this could all be a distraction from the current conflict between Israel and Palestine or any other geopolitical conflicts.
Many examples are demonstrative of the power of some of these data collection and surveillance networks. A great one is all the stuff Edward Snowden leaked about the NSA and other whistleblowers who were forced to move from one country to another where they couldn’t be extradited to the US and most like “commit suicide in their jail cells while on 24-hour suicide watch.” Other examples include John Mcafee, Julian Assange, and more recently the two Boeing whistleblowers who died mysteriously right after they testified against them. The government and some major businesses and corporations have access to these programs that are much more powerful than the public is aware of. Please keep these things in mind when posting. There are ways to circumvent most services that promise anonymity like VPNs and using Tor. Even if you use a VPN company that allows you to pay by cash and doesn’t require any type of connection to your identity. Even if you’re using tails and you’re on another person’s public or private network. Even if you know who is running all the nodes on Tor and you’re using one of those “extra security VPNs” where you know and trust whose IP is rerouting your shit. If you have a decent amount of info tied to your real identity they can probably find your ass real quick.
The only way to be completely immune to cyber threats is by never using a phone or computer your entire life. If it’s too late then you’d need to throw any electronic advice in an incinerator, buy an underground bunker that doubles as a giant Faraday cage, and live in it for the rest of your life. Even then you can still get tracked unless you’re changing your writing style completely as well as the types of spelling and punctuation errors you use. To do this you need to have a solid grasp of whatever language you speak, because one mistake repeated a certain amount of times may be able to connect your private and public online personas. I’ve noticed that trolls often like to string people along and constantly harass people with the hopes they defend themselves. I’m sure 99 percent are just idiots, but this would be a great way to collect a good sample of someone’s writing style to analyze.
The article linked below is an example of how some hackers are doing shit beyond what most of the population thinks is possible. If info like this was on Fox News or CNN there would be a mass exodus of Boomers from social media. (Maybe it wouldn’t be such a bad thing!) https://www.rambus.com/blogs/bypassing-air-gapped-faraday-cages/
Just because these types of exploits exist doesn’t mean you’re going to be the victim of one. Unless you’re a political enemy or you pissed off a billionaire you’re probably fine. You may be thinking to yourself, “Isn’t Drake almost a billionaire?” The answer to that question is yes and yes he is capable of accessing tools like these and using them for whatever purpose he pleases. I have a strong feeling it’s being funded by Lucian Grainge and is part of his 400- million-dollar contract with UMG. Having someone with no morals, that much influence and an unlimited bankroll to take out your biggest opponents from other labels sounds like a pretty solid business strategy. It’s also classic gang/ government shit. In another section of the mega-thread I go into this a lot more and how labels are literally like a pyramid scheme and rap labels have the added component that the lower levels are forced to collaborate with mortal enemies or gang rivals. Even if their life is being threatened, they have to put on a facade and pretend things are all good. I go into this a lot too in my last mega post.
These newest posts were inspired by Thuglifevol3 and some other users like Commie90 who I think are spitting facts, but getting harassed or threatened. I’ve dealt with it in the past, but it appears the guy behind the accounts may have been banned so I’ve been chilling since then for the most part. I hope some of you will think this info is interesting or relevant. If not I hope you at least learn something about OSINT. I tried laying out my research and explaining it so others can hopefully use these tools to find information. The two links I posted below are good starting points. This is just the intro, but I should be done with the body and the bonus features tomorrow at the latest. I’m about 90 percent done with the actual post, and like 80 percent done with the bonus features, I just wanted to get this out first.
The Reddit post below has a lot of great recommendations for free and paid OSINT services and some of the freebies are solid like the one I mention later. A good way to test reliability is to search for your name and investigate yourself. It helps to determine what info is reliable and the common errors that are found in the data provided by some of the free or cheaper services. I don’t think it’s necessary to pay, but if you think it’s important and don’t mind dropping a couple of bucks it might be smart to see if you can get some background checks on important suspects. You just can’t share anything considered an invasion of privacy or slander or defamation so please just be very selective about how you use these reports. As I’ve said a trillion times we don’t want to fuck up an investigation. https://www.reddit.com/OSINT/comments/11fafpb/ what_is_the_actual_best_person_lookup_tool_read/ Drake vs. Mesha I just want to drop another disclaimer before I get started. This is probably the craziest, most unlikely connection I’ve found, but I thought if there is any weirdness going on it might be interesting to some of you guys. Even if you don’t believe my theory it could help uncover some of the hidden motivations behind the recent beef and where it’s led us today. There is probably a 99 percent chance my theory is false, but I still find all the info I found very strange. If it’s true though it could be connected to the ties between the Houston and LA rap scenes, the Ye beef, and the lawsuit against Young Money, maybe even the Diddy stuff.
If my theory about, “South Park Shawty,” is true it could also be an example of how Drake uses his connection to J. Prince and his “mob ties” to help him gain favor in the West Coast rap scene and to cover up for his bad behavior.
In 2017, a woman named Mesha Collins was accused of breaking into Drake’s LA home and drinking a bunch of his sodas and water. He decided not to press charges because he claimed she was mentally ill, but Mesha implied there was a lot more to the story and that she and Drake were previously connected in some way. https://www.newsweek.com/drake-responds-4-billion-lawsuit-woman-who- broke-his-home-1657250
I saw another article from around 2022 about Drake’s connection to Travis Scott and the Astroworld incident, which is interesting because there have been court cases filed against Drake and Travis for sending subliminal messages and brainwashing people with their lyrics. https://www.casemine.com/judgement/us/600a7e0f4653d01f3e04bb56
https://www.rollingstone.com/music/music-news/drake-astroworld-lawsuits-motion-to-dismiss-1234986332/
Here is another ongoing lawsuit against Drake, OVO, and Lucian Grainge accusing them of copywrite infringement where he is using a pseudonym. Therefore it’s very possible that Mesha Collins may be a pseudonym as well. It also mentions The Dream who just got accused of SA. https://www.casemine.com/judgement/us/65d33a63cda6612875fbff10
https://www.nytimes.com/2024/06/04/arts/music/the-dream-rape-lawsuit-terius-gesteelde-diamant.html
I wonder if Mesha Collins may have been a victim of something similar. Another article mentioning her name accused him of leaving subliminals in his music and a few months later Drake responded with a restraining order. The article below is about a text she sent Drake’s lawyer saying that God would turn his back on Drake one day and telling the lawyer to kill himself. She ended up not showing up to the court proceedings and it was said that Drake was planning to pursue a permanent restraining order.
The only cases I could find that were publicly available involving Mesha was a defamation lawsuit and his restraining order lawsuit. There is also a brief mention of the legal proceedings after the alleged break in and another case in her home state from 2019. https://radaronline.com/p/drake-alleged-stalker-restraining-order-refusing-to- show-up/
This all started when I attempted to do some further research on Mesha, who in 2021 sued Drake for defamation and requested four billion dollars. I’ve mentioned it before, but it seems to kind of get overlooked because no one seems to think it’s worthwhile. It very well may be the case, but recently while working on the J. Prince stuff, I started trying to see if there was any connection between the industry and any other of Drake’s many controversies. It wasn’t the first “frivolous,” case she tried to open against him after she allegedly broke into his LA home and decided to get a drink and kick it in his room. She ended up getting arrested for trespassing and attempted robbery after a member of his crew found her chilling in his room wearing one of his hoodies and was accused of resisting arrest and spitting at the cops. On the other hand, Mesha swore up and down that she had permission to be there and that she and Drake knew each other to some extent. At the time she was 24 years old, and her address was listed as an apartment in South Carolina.
When I thought more about it this whole case I kept on finding more and more things that struck me as a little odd. The first question I had was, considering how much security Drake has and how they have stopped so many past intruders, how was Mesha able to slip by? From what I could find it seems like she may be the only “intruder,” to successfully get through the front door of Drake’s house. I find it funny that TMZ was the first to report on it considering they’re rumored to be bought and paid for by the Kardashian family and the break-in happened a couple of months after Ye accused Drake of trying to kill him. They lived down the street from each other around that time so I wonder if Ye had anything to do with it. (I got into this more in the 2nd part of my Kendrick and Ye industry takedown theory which should be done soonish, I’ve planned this quite meticulously and I want to finish up this post before pursuing any new subjects. https://www.rte.ie/entertainment/music/2017/0419/868631-fan-breaks-into-drakes-house-and-robs-a-soft-drink/
When I searched her name pretty much everything I could find about her on Google was related to Drake and the lawsuits. A couple made fun of the fact that all she took was a couple of drinks out of his fridge and many called her a deranged fan or a stalker. The only comments Drake made after the incident were trying to paint her as delusional and deny any connection to her before or after the incident. It’s very common for victims to be painted as crazy after they threaten to release some dirt on a celebrity as well as Drake’s history with women. https://www.newsweek.com/drake-responds-4-billion-lawsuit-woman-who-broke-his-home-1657250
Taking into consideration past allegations, accusations, and lawsuits, against him, I can’t help but feel like this was coordinated with the media. They often labeled her as crazy or a clout chaser when pretty much aside from Drake’s word and the trespassing allegations, the only supporting evidence was the large amount of money she was requesting in the lawsuit. The way I see it is there could have been more to it, but Drake and his lawyers either paid her off or used their influence and money to shut her up. In the end, after he had the case dismissed the media just made it seem like she was an obsessed fan and was doing this for his attention and for a chance to meet him.
Pretty much everyone forgot about the original incident for years until the news came out about the defamation suit she filed against him. Another article claims she had been caught trespassing at his property on six other occasions (6 God?). She was also accused of attacking and spitting on his fans as well as the cops who originally arrested her in 2017. Considering the defamation suit she filed accused him of doxxing her in a few lyrics and social media promotions and posts then only goes on to name one or two of them. There were some super random promotions Drake posted on his Instagram where one product had the name of the city and another had the name of her state in them. I was able to confirm this was true and considering she also said she was getting a ton of shit from his fans and her family was also being harassed, it could explain why she disappeared from the internet completely. Knowing Drake fans this seems pretty spot on. https://www.rap-up.com/2022/02/22/drake-alleged-stalker-files-restraining- orde
Drake then went on to file a restraining order against her a couple of months later around the end of 2022. The quote below includes the reason he claims to be filing the lawsuit. 'She has sent messages saying she wishes me dead, and that I should shoot myself and my son with a bullet,' Drake said in court docs. 'As a result of Ms. Collins' harassment and obsession with me, I have suffered and continue to suffer emotional distress and am concerned for my safety and that of my family.’ I wonder how often he receives death threats and doesn’t take it to court.
I also found it weird she included Adidon or who knows maybe she’s talking about another son. Didn’t Thuglifevol3 say in his post that Kendrick was right about the kid, but not the gender? They also claimed in the article below from 2022 that Mesha was homeless, which could explain why no one noticed when she seemingly vanished off the face of the earth not long after. https://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-10737229/Drake-granted-three- year-restraining-order-woman-says-stalking-years.html
https://allhiphop.com/news/drake-24-hour-security-multiple-stalking-attempts/
The details of the court cases weren’t too helpful because the original case was dismissed and the only info I could find without paying was the summary of the restraining orders that both of them filed against each other. I know I’ve said this before, but I find it quite odd that she filed a defamation lawsuit, but her lawyer never told her to stop harassing and threatening the guy. Of course, Mesha lost her case, but Drake won his in April of 2022 and he was granted a three-year restraining order. I’m not too knowledgeable about this stuff, but I wonder if this would prevent her from being able to file any further lawsuits. I guess we’ll see next April if nothing comes of it beforehand. https://unicourt.com/case/ca-la23-mesha-collins-vs-aubrey-drake- collins-731101
This article below has some methods people can use to prevent others from filing lawsuits against them if they consider it to be frivolous. I included a link as well as a description of SLAAP lawsuits and Anti-SLAPP motions. If anyone is a lawyer and can find out if these were filed that would be sick. It could also be relevant to any of the other 100 lawsuits filed against Drake. It kind of sounds like some Omertà shit to me. I also don’t know if this is possible, but I was wondering if Mesha Collins was her real name or if they used a pseudonym on the public court documents to protect her privacy.
“A SLAPP lawsuit (short for Strategic Lawsuit Against Public Participation) is a lawsuit filed to silence or intimidate an individual or an organization exercising their right to free speech. The objective of a SLAPP lawsuit isn't necessarily to win, but rather to burden the defendant with costly legal fees and stress. Usually, these SLAPP lawsuits are fired off by powerful businesses or individuals to silence critics or whistleblowers. An anti-SLAPP motion is a legal mechanism designed to protect businesses and individuals from these circumstances and can be a powerful tool for stopping frivolous lawsuits in their tracks.” https://www.lawmatics.com/blog/4-strategies-for-preventing-and-handling- frivolous-lawsuits/
I’ll post part two in a minute. Sorry if it’s a little clunky I haven’t had much time to edit and re-edit it due to its length. Also Reddit always fucks up the formatting when I copy it from Pages.

Okay, so of course I knew all of this before, but I had never truly pondered it until now. There’s a whole long list of reasons I’m never gonna have kids, the financial obligation being one of them. Usually, when I think about kids being expensive, I think about feeding them, clothing them, transporting them, but I never truly reflected on their expensive need for constant enrichment. Kids need stuff to do, like, all the time. Whether it’s paying to take them to different places for activities or buying/planning activities for them to do at home, providing a child with a well-rounded age-appropriate level of enrichment is surely a fairly expensive obligation.
Regarding toys, they constantly need new ones as they grow to meet their age level. Can you imagine if every single time you go to a grocery store there’s a tiny person begging for a $50 toy purchase, that you know is just going to further clutter up your house, and if you say no they think you’re an asshole? Every time you shop. I did not truly realize until now that this was my mother’s experience taking us to the store as children.
Do people think about this when planning to be good parents? Idk just feels like a lot of work on top of meeting the physical needs of the offspring.

In Disney’s Tangled, Rapunzel grapples with the fear of the unknown: what happens after fulfilling a lifelong dream? Flynn wisely counsels her that the beauty of dreams lies in their transformative power — once realized, they often reveal new dreams waiting to be discovered along the way.
This past April, I found myself facing a similar crossroads as I made the difficult decision to leave Krabi, Thailand, after nearly a year of calling it home. My initial dream of making Thailand my second and permanent home, cultivated over five years, had come to fruition. But as I settled into this long-sought paradise, life had other plans in store for me.
Unexpectedly, I found another home — and falling in love with that place and its people — gently and unexpectedly steered me towards a different path. In the spirit of Flynn’s wisdom, I chose to embrace this new dream and follow the love and sense of belonging I had discovered. Just as Rapunzel’s journey unfolded, mine continues to evolve, shaped by the realization that sometimes, dreams are merely guideposts leading us toward the next great adventure.
The primary reason for my departure from Krabi is simple: my heart has found a new home elsewhere, and I felt compelled to go where my heart leads me.
But beyond the pull of the heart, there were other factors at play. While Krabi is undeniably beautiful, and I was fortunate to meet kind and generous people who remain dear friends, no paradise is without its issues. A constellation of problems, ultimately led me to reevaluate my initial dream and seek solace in a new place.
Reason for Leaving Paradise #1: Tourist Culture
The first reason I left Krabi was the tourist culture. I had arrived with the intention of living close to the mountains and sea, eager to immerse myself in Thai language and culture. However, after nine months, I came to a harsh realization — my reasons for being in Krabi were not the same as most tourists.
I discovered that a majority of tourists visited Thailand for hedonistic pursuits: indulging in excessive drinking, smoking marijuana (to which I am allergic), or seeking romantic or sexual encounters with locals or fellow travelers. As someone who doesn’t drink due to health concerns and who feels uncomfortable with unwanted advances, I found that this environment presented more challenges than I had anticipated.
In essence, what I had hoped would be paradise began to reveal its flaws — at least, in terms of compatibility with my personal preferences and values.
Reason for Leaving Paradise #2: Exotic Diseases
The second factor that drove me away from Krabi was the prevalence of exotic diseases and food poisoning. Unfortunately, the area has been affected by global warming, and these issues are worsened during the rainy season and lead to what local physicians call “blood infection” although not sepsis technically-speaking. Additionally, the release of untreated wastewater from resorts into the ocean has led to serious health concerns, including sepsis.
Over the span of just seven months, I suffered from two significant cases of “blood infection,” an upper respiratory infection, and two severe cases of food poisoning, necessitating four rounds of antibiotics. For context, I typically enjoy good health and rarely need antibiotics — perhaps once every two to three years at most.
Furthermore, I started experiencing sciatica-related issues during my stay in Krabi. Seeking adequate treatment for this condition proved challenging, as I had to make a 12-hour bus journey all the way to Bangkok to find a specialist for treatment.
Considering my mobility challenges, the prospect of having to travel such a great distance for medical care became an additional significant concern. With mounting health problems and limited local options, this factor also played a substantial role in my decision to relocate from Krabi.
Reason for Leaving Paradise #3: Thai School Issues
The third factor contributing to my decision to leave Krabi was related to my experience with the Thai school I enrolled in for a year. Unfortunately, I found that the teachers struggled with their English proficiency, making communication and comprehension difficult. Moreover, the curriculum lacked structure, with lessons often skipped or presented in a haphazard order.
Despite lessons supposedly being recorded for student accessibility, this was rarely the case, and classes were frequently rescheduled/canceled with minimal notice. The overall learning environment was far from ideal, and I came to realize that I was learning more effectively through independent study with language-learning apps like Mondly, rather than the costly classes I was attending.
Reason for Leaving Paradise #4: Outages
The fourth reason that pushed me to leave Krabi was the frequent power outages in the area. Power cuts were not uncommon, often lasting for hours at a time, and downed power lines were also a recurring issue. For someone who relies on consistent internet connectivity and air conditioning, particularly in a region where temperatures can soar up to 38–40°C, these disruptions were not just inconvenient but posed genuine problems.
Ultimately, the combination of unreliable infrastructure and extreme weather conditions made it increasingly challenging to maintain a comfortable and productive living situation in Krabi.
In the end, everyone has their reasons for departing from paradise — whether they’re forced out or make the choice to leave. My reasons for leaving Krabi were multifaceted, but this doesn’t mean I have abandoned the pursuit of paradise. Instead, my experience in Krabi has taught me that my idea of paradise is not what I originally envisioned.
As I move forward, I continue to chase after the concept of home and paradise with the same heart and soul, determined to find it in a different location. I believe that with an open mind and a willingness to adapt, the true paradise — a place where I feel at home and at peace.

Expatlife #Thailand #Krabi

AITA: Backstory: I had a rough relationship with my mother in middle/highschool and eventually ended up sleeping in parks, outside or any friends house in the surrounding area for as long as I could. Eventually I met my boyfriend and started going over to his house for the majority of the day and leaving as late as they’d allow me. Eventually they noticed something wasn’t right and allowed me to stay until 10pm almost every day. One Xmas eve my mother and I really got into it and she started choking me out to where my Necklace cut my neck. At this point I left not planning to return. I snuck over to my boyfriends and spent the night in the outdoor basement on a metal chair with the spider crickets and stray cats in the middle of winter. Their neighbor had a camera that caught me sneaking in and alerted my boyfriend’s parents that some “homeless person snuck into their basement.” at this point they let me stay there, and I slept on the couch, went to every family party for 6 years. His family started to feel like the only family I had.
I lived here for about four years. A lot of drama. His mother is some form of a narcissist alcoholic with no ability to ration or have a normal conversation. She made my life a living hell and everyone else in that house. She’d constantly tell him to grow some balls and get rid of me if he seemed upset and she assumed we were arguing. He was punished due to her resentment for me. She’d tell him to do something simple like the laundry and if he didn’t do it fast enough somehow it was my fault. She expected us to clean more than anybody else in the household and She expected me to clean up after everyone in the household. And I was still in my boyfriend was still reamed because I never did enough. When I started keeping tabs. I realized I did more than everyone combined. I kept videos and pictures and she was not happy about that.
She would scream loudly from downstairs telling him how I ruined him, how I have him by the balls and how much less of a man he is. That we’re just friends with benefits. If we ever have a kid, it’ll be an asshole. She wouldn’t let him drive me to see my father who is in hospice because we had to take her car and she said that he couldn’t use her car for anything related to me and then retracted that statement the next day and said she never said it.
She would talk crap about you loud enough to where she knows u can hear it but to ur face you are her favorite and she never say anything bad about you. It only got worse and worse and worse the longer it went on, and I couldn’t defend myself because if I challenged/ questioned anything, she thought/did/said I was threatened a bed and a roof. Their “generosity” was used against me in every way shape or form. Not to mention, I was mainly referred to as twat/twatface. Almost always called out of my name. This is was a very dehumanizing experience. I felt like a stray animal stuck. Obviously one will snap eventually, and when I did, I lost it.She was yelling at my Boyfriend to spontaneously fix something on her car she had never mentioned before because he started helping me do my oil. When he didn’t stop what he was doing immediately she started throwing out more tasks and yelling we do don’t do anything around the house. This started a fight between the two of them which somehow like always became about me. She had thrown out that I have “done enough” to her and now I started defending myself. I asked her what I do? I’m respectful even when I don’t deserve to be, I keep my mouth shut and I do what I’m told even when I’m being disrespected. She said she has been praying I disappeared since the day I started coming around and I out of a fit of rage told her to croak. I didn’t mean it, She shoved me around in the bathroom just prior so I was in fight or flight already. Especially being that this is already a traumatic environment for me and having come from a traumatic environment prior I wasn’t my healthiest most stable self.
She then preceded to “throw us out” and we had one day to pack and leave. Now the family I’ve spent the last 6 years with won’t speak to me and it’s very awkward.
Everyone says it’s best to not even bother with the situation and to forget about it but this is very much awkward uncomfortable and in a way traumatizing for me and me and my boyfriend have been together now almost 7 years and I’m very close with his family, I feel almost as if I’m reliving the abandonment from my own family and not one person believes she will accept any form of apology, nor would it do any one any favors. I have a huge letter written out for her that I was encouraged not to send so I’ll put it here for more context- I know its a bit rash but I’m very emotional - please let me know am I the asshole?
Letter to his mom:
I’ve had enough of u pretending like you didn’t do anything wrong. Boy do I have years worth of shit to say to you. I know this is probably pointless, you have mocked every single time I have tried opening up to you. But all of what I am about to say needed to be said years ago. I am sorry I said a terrible thing, it was out of anger I didn’t not mean it and I do not wish that upon anyone. it is not my character to pretend I didn’t say it. But The way you all treated me was disgusting. The way you treat your kids and your family is disgusting. You literally brag about not reaching out to your elderly parents. You complain whenever somebody in your family calls or texts you. But they get mad when nobody texts you or keeps u in the loop.
Tomina You have drained me. You have been terrible to me for the entire time I’ve known you. maybe not to my face but I’ve heard it all. I didn’t flip out and for no reason it was bound to happen sooner or later. I snapped. A person can only handle so much psychological abuse. I have done nothing to you except date your son and lose my home. I agreed with you even when u were dead wrong, I stayed away every other time you argued with cole, I walked away. I kept my cool even when I had my name thrown in the dirt for no reason other than your own resentment and hatred. And I know you must really hate me because you couldn’t even be bothered to come to my father’s funeral. And every time I tried to talk about it to you, you somehow made it about yourself.
What do u get from being angry all the time? You create a very hostile environment. You’ve made it so that I never felt comfortable to open my mouth about anything. If anyone in the house said anything that disagreed with you, especially if you are wrong. it’s a fight. That’s not healthy. The one time I ever spoke up to you was to deescalate a fight between you and cole because I thought scream fighting about nuts was unnecessary and I was told I had to move out. How nice! You cannot admit u are wrong ever
I’m sick and tired of every single argument you have with cole actually being about me. You yell at him for literally anything and everything except for the real reason you are mad. Me. You have dreaded my existence since I’ve been around. But we’re always too scared to say it to my face. You talk a lot of shit like you are bold but you are not tomina. I’ve heard you say some terrible things about me then smile in my face the next day. That’s not bold that is a coward. You do the same to your kids. You say some terrible things to them and then instead of apologizing as you should, you buy them a bag of chips the next day. Real mature parenting. Teaching your children apologies aren’t important. Don’t own up to what you say. I’ve literally heard you tell Billy to stop being nicer to me than his own kids all because he offered to pay for my fucking school pictures because no one in my family would. How is that being nicer to me than his kids? That to me sounds a whole lot like jealousy. What are you really mad about? Me!
I feel like you and Billy forget why I ended up there. I genuinely feel like you think I wanted to sleep in the basement with the spiders in the middle of winter. You pretend to care about me. you pretend to understand the situation, but I genuinely do not think you knew the extent of what I went through with my mother. You bitched at me for months telling me to be nice to her then I’d start trying to be nice to her and you use it against me. Mocked me for it. Still do. You may not strangle your kids by the throat like my mother but you do your own damage by calling your child names mid argument like you are the child. You throw tantrums because you don’t get what u want. Who’s the adult? Why can’t you act like one? I can’t imagine how you spoke to them as children.
You were never nice to me not even good at faking it. Every day I lost more and more respect for you hearing the way you spoke to and tried to control your children and me included. It’s honestly about time you got the same treatment. You are genuinely not a nice person. i just finally have the balls to say it.
You will most likely never have a good relationship with ur kids as adults If u don’t realize how you treat people will reflect on how u get treated. You’ll haven’t even even harder time finding someone who’s gonna kindly take care of you. It would probably of helped out in your marriage too. Maybe then you wouldn’t be blaming that on ur kids too when ur mood and how u act is all your fault.
The way you act pushes people away. This will get you nowhere in life with people if you haven’t already noticed. Especially your kids. You act like you know everything and that your better than everyone when really your a very anxious, sad depressed individual who has no friends no social life no hobbies, skills or talents and a failing marriage all of which you literally blame on ur kids-that is psychological abuse btw. Speaking of psychological abuse….
It’s not normal to feel that you cant go to the bathroom in the place that you live. It’s not normal to feel that you can’t eat or make food in the place that you live. It’s not normal to walk on eggshells to avoid shifting your mood one way or the other. This is the environment you create. You are an abusive person. That is the definition of abuse in multiple forms. You may not have ever said u can’t use the bathroom, but nobody wants to do anything to set you off in any way so if Me going to the bathroom or making food it’s gonna cause you to huff and puff and throw a fit. I’ll just hold it til everyone’s asleep. Same thing happened with cleaning. I used to clean all the time when I first moved in. but you started complaining that you couldn’t find anything. You wouldn’t say it to me, but I hear you yelling downstairs that you can’t ever find nothing so I stopped. With the amount of hoarded junk in the house it is impossible to actually get anything clean. You literally told us to just clean around boxes of junk on the floor. You wonder why there’s mice and ants when ur headboard in ur bedroom is covered in food, food gets left out overnight, and ur bathtub is full of boxes. That’s disgusting. Good luck with the house checks doing that.
Did you know there are studies that prove that getting yelled at can literally lead to physical health issues like cardiovascular diseases? You can literally weaken somebody’s heart and immune system by screaming at them nonstop. If you’re genuinely worried about your husband’s health. You should work on yourself there. Maybe he’d want to be home more.
FYI It’s not your child’s job to talk to you because you don’t have friends. It’s not your child’s job to clean every square inch of the house after you because you didn’t clean up after yourself before you went to bed the night before. You put that on them like it’s completely their responsibility. 90% of the messes cole and I clean were everybody elses mess. I can understand wanting to help out, clean up after yourself but you expected us to do literally everything and u expected no one else to clean up after themselves. I kept track for over a month of what Cole did what I did what you did and what Bailey did in a day. I’ll show you that if you’d like. It’s actually crazy how much we “didn’t do” Since all but one person in the house works, Why is it that some people are required to do more than others? Why is it that some get to do less but they do enough?
I’ll tell you why Because you resent me so nothing I do is enough. Cole just gets punished by association
Btw Letting a toddler have free roam of the house while you sleep in the middle of the night isn’t great parenting. Best believe if I ever have a child that is related to you it will never be there alone like that with you. And u continue to act the way u do I promise you it will never be. You’re the one who said that if me and Cole have a kid he’s gonna be an asshole. Good thing you won’t have to meet it. See how there is consequences for what you do and how u treat people!
I have said this to you before. I speak up when I believe things are wrong and you have kept my mouth shut for about four years too long because I wasn’t allowed to have a say. if I spoke at all, cole had to hear it, I was threatened a place to sleep. I was told to go live with my mom. If living with my mom was as easy and simple as you guys make it out to be. I never would’ve lived there in the first place. I never wanted to live at ur house. Me and Coles relationship struggled for years due to it. I didn’t enjoy a single moment. I didn’t feel safe I didn’t feel welcome and I never felt cared about. I’ve been through more than I could handle in the past seven years, you have put me through more than enough, You have put Cole through more than enough.
Btw If you want to continue to go around telling ur whole family how much of a bitch I am, I’ll gladly show them my side of the story. Your actions have consequences and you can’t just go around talking crap about everybody because it makes you feel better. I will clear my name if I have to. I play petty games too.
I have hundreds of videos of the way you speak nasty to everyone in the house over small things like garbage. I have a video of you telling Cole he can’t use the car for anything related to me the day before we were going to go see my dying dad then immediately retracted your statement the day after because of how fucked up it is was. You literally tried to keep me from seeing my dying father because you were mad that he was going.
I’ve recorded almost every argument you’ve had with cole. Every literal pigsty that I had to clean up that everyone decided to go to bed and leave for the next day. So please try and tell me I’m wrong I will prove myself to whoever the hell i need to.
You love telling your side of the story , but you never tell the whole story. Or anywhere near the truth of the situation. You never mention how you act, or what you say that caused the situation to happen how it did. You had no reason to speak to me the way you did to begin with.
I have been nothing but respectful and grateful to you. I’ve been nothing but patient and given what u have put me through I have been exceptionally forgiving. I am no longer keeping my mouth shut with you. I will say what I need to say. You no longer have that control. I really don’t care what you think of me. You don’t think nicely of anyone. You hated every single one of coles friends until now. I have nothing but love for you Billy Bailey and everyone in Cole’s family but I will not however continue to be abused, taken advantage of, and controlled by people who anrent even related to me. You already drove your kids away. You barely see one grandkid. Why would you wanna make it so that you never see another? I’m not one to play childish games with grown people, and I do not respect mean girls that shit talk like they are in highschool that are well over 20 years of age.
Me and cole are very happy. So you are going to have to grow up let go and accept that. If you don’t that is u and Cole’s relationship that suffers. Not ours. If you can’t be friendly you will 100% get what you give. That’s life.

Hello,
It has been well over a year and a bit since my family moved into this new home, but today I had the urge and courage to anoint my home with olive oil and invite the holy spirit into my house. I had little stumbles with my words and was quite nervous but in the end, I prayed and hopefully succeeded with anointing my home to invite the holy spirit. This was my first time doing this, and I had help with google and courage from the holy spirit which I am thankful for.
Recently these past months my family has been in such chaos, not enough love or fath has filled this home and it almost led to my parents' parting ways. However, in this prayer request, I ask anyone to pray that I, have successfully invited and anointed my home with the holy spirit and that it will protect and bless my home and banish and rebuke the enemy entry at all times.
There were a few things that I noticed while doing this. When I invited the Holy Spirit to be in my presence, I asked that it would help me see anything unholy to be removed upon sight. I felt this weird energy coming from a few home decor one was a small statue of a lady holding her hat, alongside a few vases that were displayed on a shelf in which they had never been used to put flowers (which I will tell my parents when they get home). I after finishing anointing my home, I went outside in front of my house to do a final prayer for my home and I felt this holy presence in my cat, she was following me as if she was also helping me in the process and sat right in front of the front entrance. As I finished I went back inside through the other entry and as my cat walked in, it felt like the holy spirit also walked in, in that moment.
Thank you

Throwaway account just in case. Sorry for the long post. Please don’t repost.
TDLR: my boyfriend of many years dislikes my parents and now doesn’t want them to be in our home for our baby birth
Me (33F) and partner (35M) have been together almost 8 years. We met each other when both of us were in deep depression. We helped each other to get better. Eventually we moved together. I come from a very close loving family, which you could argue boundaries are non existent. He comes from a strict house which basically was boundaries on top of boundaries. Not surprisingly he doesn’t have a good relationship with them.
When we moved together we also moved to another city. My mom came to help. Long story short it ended in chaos. They were fighting all the time and my mom left upset. After that I told him he needed therapy. He was not doing well of his depression and anxiety. He did started therapy and got better but of course eventually he stopped after feeling better.
He keeps saying my mom is too much and doesn’t even let him think. That she talks non stop. That is always there. That she has no boundaries, likes to gossip. Etc etc
After a year he is better and now we are engaged, bought a house and moved. Once again mom came to help and ended in same disaster. Him screaming and disrespecting her because she doesn’t understand his triggers or that he needs space. This triggered me to have a severe panic attack that honestly don’t know how I survived those days. I started therapy and some new meds. That fight was about similar things about him feeling that she has no boundaries and does not understand our space. That he doesn’t trust her looking into his things. Mom left back home and basically didn’t came back for a year. I did visited 3 times home but completely alone (need airplane to get there).
In that year he started therapy and medication and has been doing great. After a while he apologized to my mother for everything. Water under the bridge. Or I thought.
Now comes the recent history. It’s been a year. Im pregnant. It was extremely difficult to tell my mother as I thought she was goin to be upset. She was ecstatic. Planned with my dad to come and visit. I discussed it with him and he said ok. He is in a better place. They just left 2 days ago and this last 48hrs have been hell. He did sucked it up for the whole week but now it’s saying he cant tolerate them. That he doesn’t want them here in our home anymore. That if they need to come they have to get a hotel and will only come to our house for some visiting hours.
Im devastated. I’ve always been extremely close to my parents.
He has been ranting and ruminating for hours about how disrespectful they are etc. My mom told him about asking for any help after the birth and she could be here ASAP.. he took it now like that she doesn’t believe he can do it (he actually has 2 kids from prior relationship). She only offered help if we need to. Im not sure if this is part of his anxiety/depression/ocd that the feels sme people are just thinking BS about him. My dad mention something that I thought was good as they weee having a great conversation… today is…. That my dad disrespected him because of his nationality and religion and now he cant respect him or have him in our house.
Im exhausted.
I know my parents can be a lot. But they are the only people that have been unconditionally there. And of course now my partner. I had this dream of a perfect blended family that clearly isn’t happening.
When im alone with him everything is ok. Chaos starts with my family staying.
I know they can be too much but I took care of them the whole week. I took the week off from work. I took them wherever they wanted to go. I didn’t asked him for anything except to just be there.
Now he says that he did all that and they still were extremely entitled about everything.
My mom is the most nurturing person ever. All my close friends love her because of that. She treats everyone well and with love. Her love language is too take care of everyone else. And he doesn’t understand that. That she doesn’t need to clean, or wash dishes or cook or wtv. And im here but why does it matter if she wants to help like that? She came and bought a looot of babies clothes thar i really appreciate. Today he is ranting why she needs to do that qhen we could do it. That we (me and my mom) did it w/o involving him. Well i asked him and he literally asked me for space because she was exhausting, so i took her shopping … im 20weeks pregnant and we haven’t bought SHIT. Initially I didn’t want anything because i was scared of miscarriage but things are progressing well. She pushed me to do it. And now I have a closet with beautiful baby clothes for my baby.
I want her with me for my labor because she does help me. But I also want him (he is the priority). My mom is so good to me, that she stayed with me for a month while i was extremely depressed. She left everything back home, got in an airplane and stayed with me. Without her Im sure I was close to give up. That was before I even met him. She is that of a good person to me.
Why he cant see them as i do???
He says my parents are going to fuck up our relationship like his parents did him and his prior relationship. He is traumatized about this shit that he is projecting to us right now. But right now he is the one fucking it up. My parents haven’t said shit to me about leaving or anything. They just want me to be happy. But they want to be in my life.
Im drowning and I dont know how to move forward.
I guess im looking for any kind of advice to be able to move forward.
What to do now?

Hi, everyone! I just found out about this subreddit and I was hoping to get some advice from people who have applied to colleges before! I'm gonna try for Questbridge. I am so so nervous about this journey! What do y'all think my chances of getting into an Ivy League/top 20 school is?
Demographics: rising senior, 16, resident of small GA, USA neighborhood, Asian male, first gen student, annual income is around $54k; never formally employed because my parents (even though they're low income) made me stay at home to take care of the house while they work and raise and tutor my younger sister
Intended Major: Biology and/or Chemistry; I plan to pursue dentistry and eventually pediatric oral oncology
I go to a private Catholic school (education is my parents' one non-negotiable despite tight money) but it is relatively cheap and underfunded with few classes and extracurricular opportunities. Due to staff shortages and scheduling conflicts, I have not been able to enroll in courses like Spanish III, and there are even more courses like AP Euro or AP Psychology that are not even offered to students simply due to lack of funding. For some perspective, the social studies department has gone through 5 distinct teachers in the past two years. My class is only around 30 people, most never take a single AP class their entire time here. However, there is a tight-knit community here and I have loved taking advantage of my circumstances and being involved and serving my community in whatever ways I am able to!
Weighted HS GPA: 98.69 (on a 100 pt scale; school does not use 4.0 scale or show unweighted)
School does not rank.
Most recent SAT was 1400; I am receiving a new score this Friday and will be taking it again. I am hoping for at least a 1500 since I was able to surpass this on a recent practice exam.
AP Classes: AP World, APUSH, AP Chem, AP Lang, AP Precalc, AP Calc (AB but my school moves people up to BC depending on performance), AP Bio, AP Lit, AP Gov, AP Physics 2
Only 2 years of foreign language in high school due to staff shortage and scheduling conflicts (I was forced to choose between that or AP Chem), but I have been fluent in Vietnamese since birth and have studied Spanish for 7 years (3rd-10th grade) in addition to at-home maintenance via Duolingo and conversing with fluent friends.
Awards: UGA Certificate of Merit, GHP Semifinalist for Communicative Arts, hopefully some kind of AP Scholar? (we'll see July 8!)
ECs/School activities (school mandates at least 20 service hours per year; I have around more than 100)

1. Science Olympiad (Statewide competitions placed 1st for Experimental design and 2nd for Chemistry Lab and Disease Detectives)
2. Prosthetics and Assistive Devices (Leader of assembly; lead role in client communications)
3. Model UN (organizer; the school does not designate formal leadership roles)
4. NHS (school does not have student government so this is our de facto student leadership; we're pretty much a student council and school charity/fundraising committee combined)
5. Drama/Theater (One Act placed 1st in regionals; several lead roles; frequently volunteering with set construction and tutoring novice actors)
6. Thespian Society (Officer Roles as Actor Representative and Historian)
7. Improv Club (founding member)
8. Yearbook (started in Yearbook class but continued after I left because I loved it so much!)
9. SAT tutoring (for students who cannot afford SAT tutoring as well as neighborhood students as well)
10. Essay writing tutoring (My friends tell me I am a phenomenal essay writer so I have been tutoring and revising the essays of Honors English 10 and AP Lang students; I plan to continue this with AP Lit students as well)
11. Lab assistant (Cleaning and storing equipment in science classrooms, volunteered setting up Honors Chemistry 10 labs)
12. Dental shadowing/volunteering (I spend my summers interning at my uncle's dental office and I get to volunteer as well so I can get a feel of the environment)
13. Dental service project - Partnership with local Christian charities and a friend who is preparing to enter a convent in order to donate oral toiletries (toothbrushes, floss, etc.) accompanied by informational handouts I made to educate on oral health
14. FLAME Team (the school's annual retreat planning committee; I am leader of the art subcommittee)
15. Please do not take this seriously (idek if I would even mention this in my app), but I've authored multiple Featured Articles on Wikipedia with help from historians that have received millions of views and have been featured on the front page; one is currently being peer-reviewed for publication in a Journal of Humanities.

LORs

• Honors Chemistry 10/AP Chem teacher: She graduated from Harvard with a degree in molecular and cellular biology and took a "gap year" after graduation to volunteer for a Christian teaching program that assigned her to my run-down, in-the-middle-of-nowhere school. She is now getting married and will pursue her medical degree in pediatric physiology and oncology at Duke Medical School. She is my biggest inspiration in the world and we treat each other more like long-lost siblings! I am almost never not in her room, whether we're laughing at inside jokes or locking in for some one-on-one AP Chem tutoring sessions. She's nominated me for school-level Chemistry recognitions and She has inspired me in so many ways and has gotten me through the hardest of times through her sweet and cheerful yet disciplined nature. I could not think of any other teacher in the world who knows me better.
• Honors English 10/AP Lang teacher: She graduated from Vanderbilt and came to teach at my school after working for a time as a real estate agent. I was part of her first ever class at my school, and in the past two years, we have become extremely close- almost a second mother to me. I go to the ends of the earth for her assignments- once, I even tracked down and interviewed an exec at Billboard for a project! She has nurtured my writing style and fostered my growth in so many ways, nominating me for GHP in the category of Communicative Arts.
• College councillor: She knows me pretty well and we have more of a playful relationship. Nonetheless, she knows me well as a student and a person. She's proctored every single on my AP Exams and subs for my teachers all the time!

Two cashapp debit cards were opened in my name and using my parents home address (my legal address until recently). They appear to be legitimate but inactive cards. I have a cashapp account but it is not the account name on either card. I have never requested a cashapp card from my actual account either. Their support line is not open right now 🙄 so I can't talk to an actual person and ask what's up. I looked up the account names and only one seems to actually exist on cashapp, I reported the account. Both account names seem to be randomly generated strings of letters and numbers. My thought is that someone found my info online using a people search site and used it to open an account, hoping I'd activate the card and link my bank account, which they could then drain. Is this the case? Is there another way that this could be used to defraud me? If so, what do I need to do to prevent it? I talked to the AI support line in-app to try and resolve this since I couldn't reach an actual representative over the phone and it is being incredibly unhelpful.

I served for 4 years getting honorably discharged june of last year. I just want to talk to people in same situation I landed myself in directly during my discharge. I was married for 2 years and found out during their deployment (both AD) that she was cheating and that came to When I got discharged I was treated like crap until I had to leave the apartment leaving behind my pets and some belongings to take what i could fit in my car to go back and live with my parents and I traveled to a school to do training (that didn't even come into fruition due to legal issues at the school and not finding employment after). Started at first being at technical homeless and moreso risk of homelessness since I couldn't afford a place in that high cost of living area (plan was to do this while I was still married but didn't wanna back out). Between training living in different friends hotel rooms so I wasn't on the street. My brother then realized my situation and allowed me a place to stay so traveling all the way there for months but never felt like a home. They didn't understand what I was going through at all and treated me like a kid (I am young age but experienced a lot during and after service). A pet of theirs that attacked me and I couldn't walk to the bathroom without being attacked and they wouldn't do anything about it calling him "misunderstood". No mind the fact my sleeping issues and constant nightmares I endure during then and afraid of what my future will hold since I was unemployed for months, couldn't get a job and firefighting didn't work out. Everything that could go wrong went wrong. I did then get 1 job as a janitor and that made me feel like all my experience and awards and knowledge was wasteful and felt like nothing and pay was terrible but something. Eventually, I was getting removed from the house (I had a job, just family drama) and I eventually grabbed my stuff and moved into a RV I currently live and store my stuff at and this job pays really well but the hours are kicking my ass (90 hour weeks 7 days) and my mental health has never been at an all time low then now with the disabilities I have. I had to cancel my VA appointments because I couldn't make them, no time during days to progress myself and finish what I was starting because I'm working to pay off lots of my debt I accrued being at "technical" homelessness and I'm just really anxious and can't focus at work right now. Been doing this work for 3 months, away from home but I'm tryna financially survive but mentally it's getting harder. I really like some advice and perhaps motivation to keep going. This is a simplified version of it all since I already been going on long but I hate doing this, I can't get new medication for my anxiety rn being away for so long for 3 months and also lowkey want to make new vet friends, I can only relate to other veterans. I don't want a sob party about my situation, I just want some uplifting and advice of people in my situation. I hope this is the right community to find it.

I, 11 year old female, just finished sixth grade and started summer! I have had tons of amazing teachers this year, and as a present for the last day of school, I decided to write them all letters! All of the letters were handwritten and personalized, as well as decorated in marker with all of their favorite colors! I also spent the money I got from my grandfather on envelopes for all these letters. I, of course, wrote letters to all of my core class teachers. I also wrote one for my wood shop, gym, and robotics teachers. As well as one for our In-School sub and the lunch lady. I actually made the lunch lady a goodie bag full of candy and little gifts because of how kind and sweet she is. Those were all of the teachers who I made letters for, unfortunately, there was one of my teachers who I didn’t make a letter for. I had a rotating elective system throughout the year, for the first quarter I had wood shop, for the second quarter I had pottery, then art, and then finally robotics. My art and pottery classes were both taught by the same man, who we’ll call Mr. Jones. Mr. Jones was always kind of weird in class. He would always make inappropriate jokes with and about his students, which always made me very uncomfortable because we’re only in middle school and he’s an authority figure. The students never minded his jokes and would always play along making similar jokes about him, which he highly encouraged. He wouldn’t just make inappropriate jokes about his students, but would also sometimes make jokes about engaging in inappropriate activities with his students. He would always describe these vulgar activities very crudely and in great detail. All of the students loved it and thought it was hilarious, but I always thought it was very creepy for him to make these jokes about minors. I wanted to report him, but all of the students urged me not to. They said that I was just jealous because he never made those jokes about me and that no one even cared. None of the other teachers even knew he did this, honestly though, even if they did I’m not sure the school would do much about it. They once hired a different teacher who had a history of sexual harassment, and ended up doing unspeakable things to one of his students, and was thankfully fired and taken to jail for it. Anyway, the end of the year finally rolled around and I was making the letters. As I was making them, I decided not to make a letter for Mr. Jones. Because, frankly, I couldn’t find something nice to say about him. On the last day of school, I was passing out the letters. I tried to pass them out as discreetly as possible, to both spare his feelings and to not draw attention to myself. Unfortunately though, despite this, he still saw me give a letter to my wood shop teacher, who we’ll call Mr. Smith. I didn’t know this at the time, but Mr. Jones had been just around the corner. He confronted me, and started yelling at me! There was very loud music and there weren’t many people around so no one really heard him but Mr.Smith and I. He was yelling about how he knew that I had been giving letters to all my teachers, except for him. I never told anyone about the letters, so I imagine he found out because the other teachers told him after receiving their letters. He was yelling about how I was excluding him and that I was being petty! I don’t even really remember the rest of what he said, but eventually I started to tear up and ran to the bathroom where I proceeded to ball my eyes out. I heard Mr. Smith cussing Mr. Jones out when I left. When I got home, I told my brother, who we’ll call Tom, the whole story. He was furious! He told me that I should have told the principal and that that teacher is way out of line. Everyone keeps on telling me I’m in the right, but I don’t know. I really hurt his feelings, and I feel terrible about that. So…Am I the bad Apple?

Some background, my cat Jax I got when he was only 4 weeks old and he is now almost 8 years. The vet who I got him from said his mother rejected him after his only other sibling died which is why i got him so young. He loves myself and my boyfriend deeply as i believe he views us as his parents. When he was a little over 1 years old we adopted another cat, a female, when she was 8 weeks (she is a sweet cuddly but independent cat). At first my male cat Jax didn’t love her but he has learned to love her. He still can get aggressive sometimes with her especially if he is stressed, moody or scared. I feel he has a lot of anxiety almost like he might be abandoned by us.
To the litter box issues (to note we have the new Litter robot 4): He has always had issues with the litter box but sometimes he’s okay and others he isn’t. I find that he will go pee by himself sometimes but usually not pooping. sometimes he goes by himself other times i take him. I usually take him daily to the litter box and put him in it so he goes for the day, almost like i’m watching his back while he goes to the bathroom to make him feel safe. He has no problems with the litter box when i take him. He generally doesn’t have any accidents when we are home. The problem is sometimes when we go away for vacation we have a cat sitter come once a day to feed, play and check up on them. The last couple of times we have been away Jax has peed and pooped on our couch instead of the litter box. I would love to get him to a place where he feels comfortable and confident to go on his own whether we are home or away.
I’m assuming he gets stressed while we are gone and that’s why he is going on the couch instead of the litter box. I have another vacation planned soon and i’m stressed that he will be stressed and hold it in until he can’t anymore and go on our couch again or our mattress. I’m assuming this is behavioral but i’m not an expert.
We love him and want him to be happy and okay while we are away on the few vacations we take a year.
Any advice, tips or suggestions are greatly appreciated!!

Electric bill with parents and grow room
Our electric is $600 a month for a 3000sq ft home. I have a grow room (300sq ft) i run at 78-80° year round with two heaters set to 90° to grow carnivorous plants etc. I run two 4x4 grow tents with 300watt lights in each running 14hrs a day with a timed switch. 1 has a ac infinity duct fan going and the other a regular fan which I turn off more than I have on. The rest of the room is turned off with 2 800watt grow lights and ac infinity growtent advanced system. I use about 100sq ft right now with the two tents and focused the heaters to the corner they are in. I used to run the whole room and in the winter it was less even with everything on($500)!!! Now that it’s summer it’s gone up and I removed components, why??????
My dad is a submariner and runs the house at 63° year round. He’s been turning it to 71° in the morning apparently then turning it down in the evening to accommodate us? I say he just gets a fan bc I’m being blamed that my room is acclimating the whole house to 90° and the ac is fighting it to stay cool.
Well our ac froze over today and we have nothing right now. No ac just windows open tonight. I’m pretty sure I’m some of the $600 bill but not the $300 for electric alone they are wanting along with rent and food in general. I’m not here all day unlike my parents( 1 is disabled and the other is retired disabled) they watch tv and do nothing while I’m working 7-5. I do the yard. I do my area I live in, my laundry. I swap there when I’m doing mine.( they don’t do the same) I do the trash. I’m the legit trash service since my parents refuse to pay $100 a month. So I carry heavy black contractor backs of trash to work every other day to dump. I get no help with it. Just tossed boxes and bs everywhere. I gotta flatten them. I pay for most of my meals right now with my gf. I only eat frozen meals for lunch and breakfast for work and practically starve myself with snacks or sleep unless my mom cooks but she’s really hurt from her back. I’m always told I don’t buy the food or really even need to be feed being an adult under their roof, which is right, but they told me that since I was 6 so I’m numb to it almost. I’m always made miserable for trying to live and provide for my parents who wouldn’t have a cushy lifestyle without me. I am told I need to walk the dog. It’s my fault he gets into stuff. Clean the litter it’s ur fault they shit on the floor today, mow the grass it’s too tall( well the mowers dead and yk it, been begging for a new one to mow our half acre). “The dishes are packed, why can you do them?”. Like why am I expected to do this after my day at work when your home all day. When you tell me if I work to only focus on that. Now they’re wanting me to go to school on top of all this. I’m the fucking Cinderella syndrome of this 3000sq lavish hellhole of emotional unavailability and narcissistic abuse. I’m just saying with all I do around here I don’t get enough credit and now I’m being blamed once again for something I don’t think has that huge of an affect of the whole house! It’s annoying. I had to fight them to have an outdoor garden as well. To provide their fav fruits and veggies along with mine. My goal, my lifestyle they call a hobby.(gardening) like let me flourish and do my thing. So many worse things I could spend my money on and I choose plants. Shoes? No. New hats?! No. New trends in media or anything materialistic that isn’t for my career in the future? No!!! They just never let me do me and I’m constantly told how to manage my savings and I’m never able to be myself. I’m just tired of it!!! I do so much more but I can’t label everything. All they do is nag me and pay the bills while I allow them to have that extra spending money from not needing all these extra services to be paid for that they can’t do themselves without me. Also I’m not even home on the weekends anymore bc of my business with my girlfriend where we vendor candles and plants. I’m really not even living there and they want to charge me for electric or more electric than I realistically think I am supposed to. I don’t pay rent as of yet but I handle a lot of my owns bills from car to phone, to loan on a minimum wage. I’m just constantly asked of more and I’m just not able to focus on stuff that I enjoy or at least in a healthy manner.

Hi, this is my very first post. I recently had my first child. I’ve heard the “it takes a village” phrase many times but unfortunately I don’t have a village (my parents are elderly and I’m an only child) and neither does my husband (family lives far away), it’s just the two of us and our beautiful baby. My husband works all day and I am able to work from home. We have been blessed with the opportunity to hire full-time help with our baby, the problem is, I can’t stop feeling guilty about it, whenever I take a “break” (shower, eat, rest a little, etc.) I feel like I’m loosing time with my baby. Our Nanny is very experienced with child care, specially newborn babies, so she has lots advice on how to take care of a new baby, which means my son will usually stop crying faster with her or go to sleep faster with her, that also makes me feel like I’m not his comfort person or like I’m doing something wrong. Is feeling like this normal? What should I do?

Can't believe it was ten years ago now, but here is a writeup about my time at KICL on the Kyoto University of Art campus in 2014/15. This is from an old comment that I posted a few years back, but it's just to get things started off here.
Feel free to add your own thoughts on the school. I'm certain it's changed since then, so it would be nice to hear from other recent students.
TLDR: Overall, it was fine. Heavy emphasis on JLPT. Heavy course load. Nice students and capable teachers.
I went to KICL from 2014-2015 for three semesters. Overall, it was a good experience and I learned much more than I could have in a more traditional, slow language class. By the end, I passed N3 and my written Japanese was quite good for my level. Of course, I forgot all the writing now and can't handwrite anything since all I do is type or text now. I also work in English and my home life is in English, so my speaking is still weak after all these years. However, I have a solid grammatical and mechanical foundation from my time at KICL that I am thankful for. If I expanded my vocab and actually spoke more, I know that I could still excel based on what I learned there.
KICL focuses on reading, kanji, technical listening, and some writing (in the context of memorizing kanji usage) at the expense of speaking, realistic listening, and everyday skills. This is simply the reality of focusing too heavily on the JLPT. Regardless, you will learn a fuckton of Japanese if you apply yourself.
Everyone (except for one gruff teacher with a beard - you'll know him immediately) was very nice. I had a few great teachers and some just good ones. Although it is essentially a JLPT mill like most language schools here, I learned enough Japanese for daily life, and I still feel like I learned some technical grammar points and vocab that most students studying in other places never got around to.
That being said, there were a few problems. They move you through class levels very fast if you have even a hint of competency. They wanted me to jump from 1A to 2A when there is a 2B class in between that introduces new grammar and kanji and stuff. I asked why I can't proceed to that one and how I'll learn that stuff otherwise, and their answer was "you'll just absorb it later." I ended up doing 1A, 2A, and then 2A again instead of moving on. That was my choice because I wanted to really learn the material. Looking back, perhaps it was a mistake, but I think it was best for my study style. They thought I was nuts to do that.
There is a ton of kanji and the material moves very fast. I wasn't a fan of the intermediate book they use, especially since the consensus is to use another popular one in all other school. The one KICL used (New Approach) is super technical and not practical.
You will need to spend a few hours nightly on homework and extra study. 80% of the students there are Taiwanese and they take the coursework extremely seriously. It was a shock for the American and European students to see how hardcore they were. I always thought I was a good student but they blew me out of the water.
A big downside to the Taiwanese presence in KICL is that they can understand most of the kanji already and have a familiarity of how to study and learn kanji effectively. The rest of us struggled to keep up. The Taiwanese can easily pass a reading test by skimming the kanji for basic understanding. Be prepared to step up your kanji game.
KICL exists to get those Taiwanese students to N2 JLPT in two years. Many of them make it in 1.5 years if they already had some basic Japanese knowledge from high school or college. KICL knows how to teach to the JLPT very well, but for someone like me who simply wanted to learn Japanese for everyday life here, it wasn't the best match. I still learned a ton - and forgot most of it by now - and it was an excellent foundation that was more rigorous than other schools. I got a bit burned out in the final semester and was busy with work, so my study time shrank and I got more lax with things. I wish I hadn't done this, but I was a good 10 years older than most students there and I was living in a different reality than when I used to be a student.
There are "clubs" in the afternoon a few days a week at KICL (maybe they've changed it since then). Kanji calligraphy was "required" for western students first semester, but I dropped it after a month because it was just too frustrating for me to try to get my kanji perfect. I'm not an artist and it was killing me. They understood. The other clubs were like business Japanese and stuff for higher level students.
A few times a semester they do "cultural" stuff like going to a craft workshop. It was fun, but a bit touristy and felt like a kids' field trip. I didn't mind that stuff, but the sports day thing in fall was just totally not my scene. THAT felt like we were elementary kids. I know they were trying to give us an authentic school experience, but I would have rather been studying. The group film projects and mandatory assemblies were similarly childish, and extremely Japanese in their structure and requirements. No changing that. I constantly was saying "I'd rather be studying."
There are plenty of opportunities to socialize with the Japanese art school students, but don't expect that to go exactly as you expect. They are doing their own stuff and most of them don't want to be there anyway.
Overall, it's going to be a great experience for most people. Just know your goals when you start and - once you've settled in and are comfortable - let your teachers know what your personal targets are. If you're not there to grind out JLPT, they will understand. I was able to skip some afternoon classes in my last semester when I explained that I had to work (I was starting my own business here at the time) and that advanced JLPT prep class just wasn't for me. They begrudgingly let me skip.
The teachers and students were wonderful, and it was nice to mix with so many international students in the classes. It was well worth the money - and I imagine even more so if I had actually gone full focus and really applied myself 110%!

My three year old is starting daycare tomorrow. I have an 8 week old baby at home and I’m wondering what you parents do to help curb spreading germs to your new babies. Hand washing, changing clothes, anything else I should implement?

Jaxson Baize (Bi-zee) was always a very talented padawan for the Jedi order. He had quickly learned that he had a knack for the force and focused mainly on his force abilities for much of his training unlike his master Mace Windu who was more known for his dueling. He would always follow orders to the tee which made many older Jedi adore him for his loyalty. One day however towards the end of the war he accompanied his master on a mission to possibly "recruit" a new youngling Jaxson was interested his mother had abandoned him on the temple so he never knew how other younglings had come to the order he assumed the parents were happy to see their children become Jedi but his naive vision was soon crushed.He saw the almost deceptive and manipulilitave words of his master and it angered him as he took advantage of this simple farming family he quickly ignited one end of his emerald green double bladed light saber and told the family not to listen to a word his master said Mace was shocked as his padawan turned his blade to him. In the insuing fight Jaxson lost his right eye and left hand before being thrown off a cliff my his former master. Mace reported what had happened to the order believing his student dead but on the planet the mother of the young child who would have been taken looked for days finding Jason and nursing him back to health with the help of her husband.He stayed with the family for many years blossoming into a young man in his late 20s as the empire began to take hold of the galaxy he was raised by the family teaching his brother the ways of the force but he’d long since buried his lightsaber below the ranch vowing never to take it up again. That all changed when one day the inquisitors found him he was working on the very edge of the field when two of them arrived it was very clear it was him between his black hair and green eyes,sure he was taller now being around 6’2 but his distinct scar over his right cybernetic eye and his missing left hand were more than enough to confirm his identity he saw the ships flying over and turned to his brother telling him to run home to their parents and leave the ranch and not return as his brother ran he approached the ships landing he held them off as long as he could but was overpowered between the two inquisitors and the small force of stormtroopers the next thing he knew he woke up he recognized this cliff it was where he’d been thrown off all those years ago he looked over the grand inquisitor had shown up he held the lightsaber in one hand and his brother in the other and gave him a choice join or die that day his family survived but Jaxson would not see them for many years. He took up the blade and left with the inquisitors he toon one of the crystals and put it in the brothers hand whispering “watch over our family one day we’ll be reunited”
hey there i’m looking for an rp where an inquisitor is forced to face the demons he created as he learns his own emotions for an imperial or rebel your choice or heck ashoka would be appropriate given the time and age i’ve set up anything lol

This is sort of long but I tried my best to condense it.
My (25F) boyfriend (26M) and I have been together for two years. We are very close, and have talked about our future, moving in together, if we want kids, what we want to do career wise. We both are currently in university. I am pursuing a PHD and he is pursuing a bachelors, as he is also in the military.
Because of him being in the military and also going to university, he is pretty busy and has already been on two deployments of 10+ months each. Granted that those aren't terribly long in comparison to many others. I am in uni full time and also have a full time job so I am also busy but not in the same capacity as him. We both have met each others parents countless times, and everything seemed to be going flawlessly. Or so I thought.
Two weeks ago I went to my parents on scheduled leave as I was getting my IUD changed and needed to recover after that, as I get put under for it due to endo, so they also remove any lesions or growth. They offered to have me over and I said yes, because it meant home cooked meals (I live on campus at my uni as it is cheaper than renting an apartment in the area, so I eat on campus the majority of the time since its included in my tuition.) Four days into my two week leave, my boyfriend asked to stay a few days as he had the week off and wanted to spend time with me and my parents. They said of course, and I of course did too. He came over and everything was fine until the two days later.
My mom and I are very close, as in, no topics are off limits close. To keep it brief, we talk about literally everything, including very personal things like medical issues and explicit topics. I know explicit topics may raise some red flags, but let me explain, as it was what caused the issue with my boyfriend. So bear with me and this might get a bit personal but I will try to keep it clear but controlled.
As I said, I recently got my IUD replaced, I've had one since I was an early teen, but this time I changed brands as the previous one started to give me issues. I was sitting at the island in our kitchen while my mom was washing dishes at the sink. She had asked how I was doing with the new brand and IUD insertion, and I told her how my "outer region" is super sore, and hurts worse when I stand, and that it feels like someone is pummeling my cervix. She nodded and sympathized with me, and mentioned that I shouldn't make it worse and to keep my "hooha" off limits until the 6 week mark, which is when my doctor said that things can enter it again. I laughed and she continued with telling me how when she gave birth to my brother, who was quite the large baby, she needed stitches and she said how my dad was "forbidden from entering her child portal" until she was ready. This isn't even the worst conversation we have had. But I digress.
My boyfriend was apparently in the next room within earshot. I didn't know this, as he said he had to go out and pickup a package from an amazon locker at Walmart so I guess he got back and then sat down in the living room. My moms and I conversation changed subjects because I had forgotten to ask her about a recipe I wanted, but after about 30min it ended and so I got up and went to the living room to wait for my boyfriend but as I mentioned he was already there. He looked appalled and asked to talk to me outside.
He told me how it was disgusting that I was talked about my private area with my mom, and it was even more disgusting that she told me about her and my dads "situation" after the birth of my brother. He told me that he can't look at me the same now knowing that my mom knows all of my business and that she should be, verbatim, "on a registry or list or something because that's f**king disgusting and inappropriate." I told him that since he feels that way, he doesn't have to ever see her again, because we are done. He didn't say anything and left.
Ever since then, he has been blowing up my phone apologizing and asking if we can talk, if he can have another chance, and that he wishes he had never said what he did. Now I know that not everyone has a good relationship with their mom, and that not everyone who does, is this close with her. We are close enough that if anything ever did cross a line, we would make it known. I also know that some people may take us talking about our genitals in a weird way, but everyone has them and its not weird or gross to us so we aren't embarrassed to talk about our struggles, especially as women. I'm not judging anyone who isn't comfortable with talking about that, so please don't judge me for being comfortable with it. I don't expect everyone to be on my side, because I do realize our closeness is probably abnormal, as I have been told that many times.
But a lot of the friends in our friend group have been bombarding me with texts about how I was cold and insensitive for immediately breaking up with him on the spot. I would have been fine with his stance if he had just approached it politely or probably literally any other way than he did, considering he said my mother should be on a "registry" or a "list". I mentioned that to our friends and they all say that he was just caught off guard and that anyone would have reacted emotionally in his situation. Two of our friends are on my side and say that they would have done the same.
Am i wrong for breaking up with him? I am about 90% convinced that I did nothing wrong but that 10% has been in the front of my mind for a while. Any advice or thoughts are appreciated.
EDIT: I thought it was implied so I apologize for not being clear about this. He knew my mom and I were close. To quote one of my replies to a comment, "...he's heard me talk about personal things with her before, for example about a month before the IUD conversation, I talked to her on the phone about my wild bowel movements and issues with my colon (thanks to the endo) while we were sitting in my dorm. Granted this is the first time he's firsthand saw/heard me talk about reproductive issues. I've mentioned to him before how I've talked to her about things like my period and other health problems but this is the first time he has heard a conversation in person..."