My MIL went NC with us because “we hate her and don’t want anything to do with her” (no MIL, we just have boundaries that you refuse to accept).
We tried offering mediation, family therapy and received nothing but accusations in return. Still, she was the one who stopped answering to our attempts of reconciliation sometime back in January. It’s been a blissfully quiet couple of months (for me, hubby understandably has an harder time accepting that this is what the relationship with his mother has become).
Yesterday, she reached out in a voice message, where with an dramatic put-on shaky voice she expressed how disappointed she was the he didn’t reach out on Mother’s Day. That now she really understands that he hates her and that there are probably people in his life who are “celebrating” now that they are no longer in contact, obviously alluding to me. She proceeds to say that she doesn’t even know where we live anymore (we moved in February and she would know had she paid attention to anything but herself, since we told her our new address back when we were still in touch late last year) and that she wants the keys to her house back (we honestly forgot we had it). At the end, she said the equivalent of “farewell” in our language, literally translated it would mean “live well” and strongly implies that you won’t ever see the other person again.
I laughed listening to her whining bs, it’s always the same spiel, no reflection whatsoever just “You did this, you did that, you hate me, you you you you”.
Also, I just know she doesn’t give a shit about this key, it’s just a matter of control and doing what she wants.
Don’t really know if looking for advice, just needed to vent. Thanks for reading.

Disclaimer: I am Chinese and cannot speak or read Uyghur. Xinjiang is a vast land, and the online communication of residents is strictly controlled, so even people from different regions are unaware of the specific situation in other regions, and there are significant differences between different regions. I tried to cross validate using sources from different ethnic groups as much as possible, but my language definitely caused some bias in my sampling.
There is a long-term tense relation between local ethnic groups, especially between the Han and Uyghur ethnic groups. A local Han who sympathized with the Uyghur told me that his American friend who visited described it as "racial segregation, and it was spontaneous among people.".
Other ethnic minorities also have resentment towards Uyghur people due to Uyghur nationalism. They also suffered from repression, although not as severe as the Uyghurs. Some blame the government, while others blame the Uyghurs.
Local Han generally believe this is what Uyghurs deserve. Mainland Chinese are generally unaware of this matter due to censorship, but no hostility towards Uyghurs.
Not all, but there are definitely some events that meet the criteria for terrorist attacks. It also involves indiscriminate attacks on other ethnic minorities and Uyghur who do not agree with them.
CPC actually tries to conceal these events as much as possible. If it is really impossible to conceal, their public deaths are much less than what actually happened, whether the deceased were Han Chinese, attacked Uyghurs, or attackers. The public parts are due to the controversy caused by the discovery of large-scale detention.
What other separatists did was also concealed as much as possible. CPC seems to primarily aim to avoid resentment towards the Uyghurs as a whole among the majority of people in China, and pretend its rule is prosperous and unshakable.
A local Hui who have been hacked by terrorists before:

If officials claim nothing happened, means manything happened. If officials claim one or two people died, means a group of people have died. If officials claim thirty people died, means a village has disappeared.
Separatists and CCP went to war, and the people suffered.

Uyghurs mainly reside in the southern Xinjiang region and are mainly poor farmers. Most areas in southern Xinjiang are mainly Uyghur, although Han immigrants have appeared in urban areas in the past two decades. Before the crackdown, a rural Uyghur may have never seen any native Chinese speakers in their lifetime. When I visited there last year, most adult Uyghurs can't speak Chinese at all, and most who speak fluent Chinese are businessperson. I visited there with the company of a local Uyghur friend(abbreviated as T). Most of the repression was lifted in 2021, and what I saw was a mild version:

Small mosques are demolished or sealed off. The landmark mosques has been preserved, but locals dare not enter because it poses a risk of getting them into trouble. Inside are mainly tourists. All Arabic slogans have been covered or replaced with Uyghur versions. Halal symbols are prohibited. Some tourists are Uyghurs from northern Xinjiang. They have greater freedom. Locals are not allowed to wear Ḥijāb or grow large beards. Uyghur ethnic clothing without religious significance is also taboo. The stores sell them, but only for tourists. All cutting tools on the street are restricted to fixed objects with iron chains. Economic decline. Not many locals consume. During the period of severe repression, people had no income. Even civil servants are owed wages by the government due to financial constraints. Before 2017, schools almost exclusively taught Uyghur language, and local teachers were also Uyghurs who did not speak Chinese. Now it's almost pure Chinese. T is worried about the hidden camera when speaking. All taxis have prominent cameras. All polices are Uyghur. T claims that after 2021, who is visible on the streets is not police, but just security guard disguised. The real police are either undercover or hiding. All signs are bilingual or in Chinese. Simple Uyghur language signs are prohibited. Ethnicity can be distinguished by appearance. When others notice that we are a mixed ethnic team, they will be surprised.

The riots were mainly initiated by Uyghurs from rural areas in southern Xinjiang. This place has been subjected to the most severe repression.
The total population of Uyghurs is over 10 million. No one can be certain how many had entered the camp. They don't have an interconnected database for this. I read a local official privately claiming that perhaps 500,000 are a close number. When I mentioned that Western media claimed the number was one million, and T felt it was an underestimate. Another Uyghur from a northern city think this is an exaggeration.
As of now, Uyghurs, even if living in mainland China, dare not post too many opinions on these matters through online. Others lives Xinjiang cannot either. When they post content that the local government deems inappropriate, they may be knocked on and asked to delete their posts. This is highly unlikely to happen in other regions.
A local programmer told me, if the photos you take accidentally include any part of camps, when it is post online, it would disappear directly.
In the past few years, the density of Uyghur people visible in the inland has significantly increased. Young people from various ethnic groups in Xinjiang seem to be generally trying to leave Xinjiang due to limited freedom and insufficient income. Riots and repression have both led to loss of the Han population. A resident of Urumqi told me that the actual population here may only be half of what is recorded on paper. Xinjiang government is attempting to recruit Han Chinese from mainland China to settle down.
In mainland, when reside in hotels, Uyghurs will be registered by the police. Only specific qualified hotels are allowed to accept them. Several male Uyghurs said they may have been raided and inspected by the police at night.
Uyghurs have different opinions. I do know three Uyghurs clearly express that CPC's suppression is generally good, although they still complain. This includes T, whose father was once detained in a camp. I don't know the proportion of different opinions. The random Uyghurs themselves seem unclear about this too.
The camp seems to have different levels. My data point from Uyghur in rural area of southern Xinjiang and specifically, there was indeed a terrorist attack carried out by the residents from this town, so this is the most extreme situation. By T, camp and repression were described as:

In 2017, if you are an adult male and not in school or college, likely to enter a camp. This is about 80% of men. It almost came to an end after September 2019. Two thirds of them had returned. (The rest are mainly sentenced, with a few deaths) Pure torment. Later, the government was afraid of the West, and people gained meat in their diet and skill training. (about diet, I explain as the financial difficulties faced by the Xinjiang government. After the camps attracted international attention, they received more funding from the central government.)
Government know they just need to persuade the househead. Women and children will obey him. Many excuses be used to get you into the camp. Sometimes it's intentional to provoke you, and when conflicts occur, they tell you that your viewpoint is flawed (needs to be modified). They will inquire and analyze from neighbors what you have done before and recently. If you lie, they will find out. TBH, Han cadres are most rational. The main ones bullying us are Uyghur cadres.
Submissive people were released after one or two years. Disobedient people were sentenced to prison. Who completely disobeys had died. There are an average of 400 families in the village. They would receive seven or eight corpses from the camp. Those sentenced families have had difficult times. Only women and two children in the family, difficult to survive. Women are easily bullied, children do not obey her, wander around and do not help her with work. The villagers did nothing wrong. My father is not interested in religion. When he returned from the camp, he spoke Chinese more fluently than me. Outsiders recruiting locals for terrorist attacks, then they fled, and locals were retaliated against. Many people here are uneducated. They are easily deceived by outsiders (to create a terrorist attack/riot). This is brainwashing to prevent them from being deceived by outsiders. I hate those outsiders. They have caused many families to break down, and give us Uyghurs a bad reputation. Islam is good, distorted by these people. I dislike the local extremist religion before. I was not even allowed to sing.

He described the welfare policy:

The government has established new villages. You only need to pay a small fee to move over. Most of the expenses are subsidized by the government. They have carried out infrastructure construction. Our living environment has improved a lot. But the economy has not been developed, and our income has not increased. If your family is considered trustworthy, you may be helped to start a business in mainland. If someone is sentenced, their family will receive financial assistance.

He is a firsthand witness to the terrorist attack that occurred locally:

This has been reported as the death of thirty Hans. It's completely different. Terrorists intercepted the road and killed all Han trapped in the convoy. The Uyghur who resisted them were also killed. The actual number of deaths is over a thousand. I can't believe my childhood friends would kill people. The next day, the tank arrived at our village. All participants had been captured. The rest of us were frequently visited by cadres. Terrorists intercept convoys by chopping down trees. So the government forced the people to cut down the trees next to the road a few years ago.

I want to develop a character who has DID derived from PTSD, which in turn arose from a four-day period of suffering different atrocities. The character has no explicit memories of this four-day period, but their subconscious locks it away to avoid the pain of trauma and develops disorders as a defense mechanism. In addition to the mentioned disorders, the character has developed a refusal to eat food due to an apparently irrational line of thought and sensation that if they eat, they would be hypocritical for something, and therefore, more guilty. The character has 5 personalities. So far, I've only been able to conceptualize 3: the assistant, the machine, and the monster.
The monster is the murderous and harmful personality. It's what the character most instinctively tries to avoid manifesting, even if they don't know exactly why. It's the embodiment of their potential evil, and its appearances are always accompanied by tension and suspense. Even if not actually manifested (or is it?), the mere fact of appearing in nightmares and hallucinations already triggers panic attacks in the character. This is the most mysterious personality because the character has doubts about the nature of this personality that doesn't offer many explanations beyond the simple fact that it knows everything about him and is playing and affecting him; Is it a personality or a distinct demon? Is it a delusion or is it real? Is it himself or a separate being pretending to be him to scare him? Is it capable of killing the personalities, and if so, why doesn't it do it immediately instead of leaving the personalities unharmed? Why psychologically torture him if the function of fragmented personalities is to help in self-preservation? If it's real, why does it let him escape at the end of its ''games''? This personality (or not) is physically the largest, the most technological, the most inhuman, and presents more feats of strength despite appearing less, all geared towards psychological torture mainly, a literal kind of haunting like Pennywise's. It wreaks psychological havoc on the character in each of its personalities, and the most sensitive one, which is the one the other personalities most try to avoid being impacted by the monster, is the assistant personality, the personality that personifies human essence and, being based on the Superego and Ego and reflecting the distant past spent with his deceased good mother whose values were transmitted in his childhood and adolescence, is the personality that tries to maintain order, predominate, and reunite the fragmented personalities, although this self-imposed role is not easy and it is difficult to deal with the fear of what could happen if people found out that he and the other four 'people' are actually the same person who has DID; it is difficult to represent order while his other parts are more inclined to chaos and there is no direct interaction between the personalities. The assistant personality has blindness, whose degree varies depending nuancemente on the external and internal security situation it feels, but is always present because it results from an unresolved trauma. Glasses are used, the only one who does this. Blindness is more present in the assistant personality and less manifested in the other personalities because they are more detached from humanity. The assistant personality is the most divergent from what the character was before DID. Its form is more human, shorter, and less cybernetic, precisely because it reflects a distant period from the current one of the character. (A side note: the character is, in a way, a shapeshifter, so its personalities have a distinct form, some more similar to each other and others less similar, and vice versa. The metamorphosis is restricted to the forms the character has already had in its life and afterlife, and those forms it did not have are a more adapted version of the personality concept). The assistant is the most sensitive personality and the one that most tries to be virtuous, and because of these characteristics, it is the most vulnerable to the monster.
The machine personality is the psychological barrier. A wall for any emotions. An internal shield for trauma. It looks like a robot, like a machine, both for sentimental and behavioral issues. It does not feel emotions, is extremely rational, and is very connected to technology. Indeed, it is the most technological personality in the purest sense of the word, while the monster personality is the most technological in the most monstrous sense. Its function is to offer a more impartial view of situations and, because of the monster, to be the most solid shield for the assistant personality not to be haunted directly (and possibly killed) by the monster.
There are 2 more personalities to develop, and I'm working on it since it's a new idea I had.
The character is Vox.
The conceptual ideas for this fanfic that I intend to create, combined with my hobby of self-studying psychology/psychoanalysis/psychiatry, made me realize that I attribute four disorders to Vox:
• DID: According to the DSM-5 criteria, to be considered DID it is necessary: ▪︎Two or more distinct identities or personality states are present, each with its own relatively enduring pattern of perceiving, relating to, and thinking about the environment and self. ▪︎Amnesia must occur, defined as gaps in the recall of everyday events, important personal information, and/or traumatic events. ▪︎The person must be distressed by the disorder or have trouble functioning in one or more major life areas because of the disorder. ▪︎The disturbance is not part of normal cultural or religious practices. ▪︎The symptoms cannot be due to the direct physiological effects of a substance (such as blackouts or chaotic behavior during alcohol intoxication) or a general medical condition (such as complex partial seizures).
• PTSD: Symptoms of PTSD fall into the following four categories. Specific symptoms can vary in severity.
Intrusion: Intrusive thoughts such as repeated, involuntary memories; distressing dreams; or flashbacks of the traumatic event. Flashbacks may be so vivid that people feel they are reliving the traumatic experience or seeing it before their eyes. Avoidance: Avoiding reminders of the traumatic event may include avoiding people, places, activities, objects and situations that may trigger distressing memories. People may try to avoid remembering or thinking about the traumatic event. They may resist talking about what happened or how they feel about it. Alterations in cognition and mood: Inability to remember important aspects of the traumatic event, negative thoughts and feelings leading to ongoing and distorted beliefs about oneself or others (e.g., “I am bad,” “No one can be trusted”); distorted thoughts about the cause or consequences of the event leading to wrongly blaming self or other; ongoing fear, horror, anger, guilt or shame; much less interest in activities previously enjoyed; feeling detached or estranged from others; or being unable to experience positive emotions (a void of happiness or satisfaction). Alterations in arousal and reactivity: Arousal and reactive symptoms may include being irritable and having angry outbursts; behaving recklessly or in a self-destructive way; being overly watchful of one's surroundings in a suspecting way; being easily startled; or having problems concentrating or sleeping. Many people who are exposed to a traumatic event experience symptoms similar to those described above in the days following the event. For a person to be diagnosed with PTSD, however, symptoms must last for more than a month and must cause significant distress or problems in the individual's daily functioning. Many individuals develop symptoms within three months of the trauma, but symptoms may appear later and often persist for months and sometimes years. PTSD often occurs with other related conditions, such as depression, substance use, memory problems and other physical and mental health problems.
The four tabs below provide brief descriptions of four conditions related to PTSD: acute stress disorder, adjustment disorder, disinhibited social engagement disorder, and reactive attachment disorder. Source: https://www.psychiatry.org/patients-families/ptsd/what-is-ptsd • Psychotic Depression: Psychotic depression Some people who have severe depression may also experience hallucinations and delusional thinking, the symptoms of psychosis.
Depression with psychosis is known as psychotic depression.
Symptoms of depression Someone with depression feels sad and hopeless for most of the day, practically every day, and has no interest in anything. Getting through the day feels almost impossible.
Other typical symptoms of depression may include:
fatigue (exhaustion) disturbed sleep changes in appetite feeling worthless and guilty being unable to concentrate or being indecisive thoughts of death or suicide Doctors describe depression as mild, moderate or severe depending on your symptoms, how long it lasts and how much it affects your daily life.
Read more about the psychological, physical and social symptoms of clinical depression
Symptoms of psychosis Having moments of psychosis (when people lose some contact with reality) means experiencing:
delusions – thoughts or beliefs that are unlikely to be true hallucinations – hearing and, in some cases, feeling, smelling, seeing or tasting things that are not there; hearing voices is a common hallucination The delusions and hallucinations almost always reflect the person's deeply depressed mood – for example, they may become convinced they're to blame for something, or that they've committed a crime.
"Psychomotor agitation" is also common. This means not being able to relax or sit still, and constantly fidgeting.
At the other extreme, a person with psychotic depression may have "psychomotor retardation", where both their thoughts and physical movements slow down.
People with psychotic depression have an increased risk of thinking about suicide. Source for more information: https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/conditions/psychotic-depression/
• An as-yet unidentified eating disorder: This is the only one in which I do not know which exact diagnosis it fits into. It is a consequence of the trauma from the four-day period - including this period being one of the biggest mysteries in history and a great source of theories for readers, as it is the root of Vox's psychological mess, the divergence point that originated the entire fanfic and which the protagonist DOES NOT want to remember - that resulted in the trauma of eating. He does not feel like eating, not even the SIN OF GLUTTONY is able to make him eat - he is immune to her powers - and feels an apparently inexplicable instinct of guilt and hypocrisy when trying to eat, as if he were the worst being in the universe if he ate a food and a huge hypocrite; why and what exactly this innate thought of judging himself as a hypocrite is another mystery in the plot.
In this story, at least in the initial arcs, no one associates all five as being the same person, at most they associate only one/two of them with Vox. With the climaxes (yes, it's in the plural) throughout the story, the characters will find evidence and suspect and associate more and more of the other alters (as I call Vox's fragmented personalities) with the same person, which increases the narrative tension. Being the assistant personality the last to be accurately associated by the other characters, although she was the one that had the most tension and care in NOT being associated throughout the story because she is the human essence of Vox, reflects more the fragility of his soul state and is not ready to deal with the harsh social consequences that the actions of the other alters and Vox before DID caused, needing solid support and not wanting to lose all the friendly social relationships, although fragile, that he built as a separate being from Vox and the other alters. It is easier to hate than to love. The assistant personality does not want to risk losing the little support he has built. These relationships are extremely valuable to him. He doesn't want to have this taken away from him anymore. The relationships he built are based on the inhabitants of Hazbin Hotel.
All alters have Vox's trademark: the TV as
a head. All... except the assistant personality. This alter is the ONLY one that has a human head and is the smallest, being even a few centimeters smaller than Lucifer. The size of his hair goes up to just above his shoulders, but he ties them in a professional hairstyle. His clothes are similar to those of an assistant, and they have a palette of blue, black, and white colors. The color of his hair, influenced by his powers as a Media Demon, is black with dark blue streaks and tips.
His human appearance reflects a period when Vox was human. In my story Vox is a trans man, which means he was born female and went through a transition at some point in his adolescence or adulthood. The appearance of the assistant personality reflects an episode during his 13/14 years. In this episode, he did a special show for his father's assistant at a fancy restaurant. It was her last night in his life as she would unfortunately be sent away without a chance to return, and he was aware of this. He also knew that his father was responsible for her being sent away, although his innocence at the time made him not immediately detect that she would be KILLED by a hired hitman hired by the father and mother. The assistant was a loved one by the teenage Vox. She was a loving mother he never had, and because of the emotional attachment to her, he decided to do a musical show, showing for the first and last time to anyone his talent for piano and violin. He, at the time still not going through the transition, dressed more masculinely, used the best appearance he could, and used a pseudonym to enter the restaurant and make the presentation without being detected by the family. He did not explicitly specify for whom the music was intended, but the assistant, secretly his true biological mother, knew it was for her. That was the last time he would see her, and he made every second of that night count.
Vox's human female name was Elizabeth. I chose this name because it is a beautiful name, it was the name of the former queen of the United Kingdom, and it was the name of one of Jack the Ripper's victims, Elizabeth Stride.
Vox, during his adult life as a man and even post-death, buried his past as a woman. It was not a source of pride, especially for the family abuses suffered and the transphobia of the time. If the Vees, the people closest to him currently, do not have a deep understanding of Vox's human life as a man, imagine their knowledge of the initial part of his life before the transition!
That's why being called "Elizabeth" during the direct and indirect appearances of the monster personality already causes genuine and unmasked panic in him. It is an indication of knowledge of his deepest layers.
The story has a suspenseful atmosphere, with some horror scenes. We follow the alters individually, and as the story progresses, we realize along with the protagonist some strange, wrong things. The alters do not communicate directly with each other and, therefore, the character does not immediately perceive the signs of having multiple personalities. It was as if there were four people in one body and none of them noticed, according to the perspective of the assistant personality, the alter that we slowly follow discovering the huge web of the situation he's in. There's something very wrong with Vox, more specifically his soul. But there's an invisible barrier that prevents the character from investigating further, like an elephant in the middle of the room. Each alter has its own course, all acting as if they were distinct people and not associating with each other. This is bad socially speaking in the long run, because sooner or later the clash of beliefs and values built among the alters will come into conflict and the individual consequences of their actions will negatively impact each other. The monster personality served to add more salt to the wound. It is by far the most harmful, appearing little but causing a huge mess in return. Don't think of it as a kind of Hulk, because Hulk is a destructive monster that his counterpart, Bruce, can try to control and turn into a hero, and everyone is aware of Hulk's nature, which is easy to understand and try to contain; whereas the monster personality is an enigma at the same time as it is a nightmare, there is no discussion with it, it causes psychological terror in Vox's alters, its apparently internal actions affect the external world of the alters, it is unpredictable, it is the literal meaning of hell. The monster personality has already caused physical harm to the alters, although they did not exactly remember, mainly the assistant personality, the most oblivious of all for a reason. I want to relate the monster personality to Roo.

Tldr: the title. The long version: The line between enemy soldiers in the field, enemy soldiers on the way to the field, civilians making munitions, and civilians waiting to be conscripted, is way too fuzzy to be considered a "first principles" moral issue. They're all, in one way or another, a threat.
Furthermore, considering the government in a nation state is there to execute the will of the people, even civilians who are completely out of the fighting loop can be seen as responsible for whatever their government is doing (clearly, this responsibility is more direct in the case of democracy, but unless we're talking civilians kept in by force like in North Korea, the civilians are still giving some kind of consent by being part of the country).
Imagine a democracy that sends mercenaries to fight a war of foreign conquest, aren't the civilians more "culpable" than the soldiers themselves?
To be clear, I'm not advocating for death camps or lining up civilians to be shot. But, if a bunch of Ukrainians are taking pot shots from a factory with civilians inside, it should be the Ukrainian soldiers job to protect the civilians, not the Russian army's. In general, I'm not advocating civilian targeting, but I think the "killing cows for food" - good, "torturing a cow" - bad, distinction makes sense here too. As long as you're killing civilians for a better reason than sick enjoyment, it's fair game.
At the very least, hiding soldiers behind civilians in order to create a catch 22 (kill them and be condemned, don't kill them and get shot) is an OP tactic and should be nerfed :D
In my opinion, not killing enemy civilians should be considered along similar lines as not kicking in boxing, a rule both sides can mutually consent to, either in the interest of being sporting (which was probably the historical reason not killing civilians became a thing, no honor to a knight that kills a woman) or to mutually reduce damage (if two kings are fighting over land with a bunch of peasants, no use killing the peasants, they're spoils), but it shouldn't really be seen as a moral issue. If one boxer suddenly starts kicking, the other isn't a morally reprehensible person for kicking too. Similarly, if side A shoots civilians, side B should at least not inconvenience itself too much about not killing side A's civilians.
As a side note (i haven't thought about this too much, and definitely can't back it up, so it's not really part of my cmv), I think most of the wind behind "don't kill civilians during war" comes from privileged people in western European countries who suddenly became very strict about the rules of engagement after they stopped having wars to fight (right after they lost their last colony) and would revert to fire bombing civilians if a real war broke out.
To summarize:

1. Targeting enemy civilians is not a "first principles" moral issue, it's more of a two way contract
2. As such, if the other side is targeting civilians, so can you. In addition, if the other side is playing games, like hiding soldiers behind civilians, you may break the contract (expect the other side to follow suit)

CMV: Civilians are fair game in conflicts between nation states

I am 28F and my boyfriend is 30M. We’ve been together for over 5 years and we had always talked about becoming parents. Last year I told him that I didn’t want kids after all, he was crushed. I knew that he would be, he loves kids and he was so excited to become a father. I was fully expecting him to break it off with me but he decided to stay.
However this past year has been a little hard. Many of our friends and family members have became first time parents. And everyone, I mean EVERYONE, is expecting us to be “next”. I can just see the disappointment in his face as he tries to play it off saying “not yet”. Me knowing full well this “not yet” is really a “not ever”.
As hard as it’s been disappointing him, I don’t regret my decision.
On Mother’s Day, I got to hear so many of my friends complain and complain about how incredibly hard it is to be mom. How their baby daddy’s didn’t put in effort to do anything for them or forgot the holiday altogether. All to end their rants with “it’s a blessing though”. I know they think they have to add that last bit to not seem miserable, but I can see right through it. They’re struggling, they hate it. Several of them even refer to their kids as “devils” or “evil”.
In them I can see what my life would be if I gave in to the pressure to become a mom. I can see a version of me from another world that would fully regret my decision.
My life’s not perfect and my bf and I are working through our own struggles. But I know that this life is 100% better than a mom version of me.

This iconic classic weapon has had a fair few different iterations throughout Zombies, with each game giving it different models, animations, sound updates, and visual effects.
Interested to hear which is the community’s favourite version of the classic?
Personally, BO2 gets my vote. Still had the classic look and was the last game it had the full impact sound effects for, since BO3 ditched them. Very strong splash damage compared to future versions and was a mainstay in any survival map loadout. The reskin it got for Buried and Origins was also kind of cool too

If all the rumors that says that iOS 18 will be AI focused are true, specially with lot of things running locally and a revamped Siri, do you think that the A8 in the OG HomePods will be not enough and thus making the 17 version the last one for them? Keep in mind that the chip is from 2014 and the other active device that uses it, is the Apple TV HD. My guess is that when this Apple TV gets no more support, the OG HomePod will get dropped as well.

First time reader of Wolfe and I'm having an amazing time working my way through shadow and claw. I had to read this chapter a couple times to try and grasp it; it's extremely dense. I'm still finishing Claw of the Concilliator so my thoughts may change. I'd love to hear your thoughts.
The Tale of the Student and His Son Analysis
“Once, upon the margin of the unpastured sea, there stood a city of pale towers.”

• The unpastured sea evokes Hamlet “the undiscovered country” death and the unconscious. Pale refers obviously to a light color but also feebleness. However, a tower symbolizes wisdom and stability and the balance of forces (light and dark, fire and water, order and chaos). Wolfe is already painting this city in contradiction.

“In it dwelt the wise. Now that city had both law and curse.”

• Another symbol of duality: loss and gain. The wise give the law but simultaneously curse the city.

“The law was this: That for all who dwelt there, life held but two paths: they might rise among the wise and walk clad with hoods of myriad colors, or they must leave the city and go into the friendless world.”

• Here’s another contradiction: the wise wear myriad colors symbolizing their acceptance of all, but their law is built on exclusion, a brotherhood without.

“Now one there was who had studied long all the magic known in the city, which was most of the magic known in the world”

• The magicians study pan (all). They are comparative mythologists, occultists, Jungians, etc. (This, ironically, is Wolfe). Pan in Greek mythology is a cloven foot and horned god that plays the “pan flute”, and is associated with nature and sex. He is often accompanied by nymphs.

“And he grew near the time at which he must choose a path. In high summer, when flowers with yellow and careless heads thrust even from the dark walls overlooking the sea.”

• High summer is a reference to the “dog days” of summer. In ancient Greece, this was the hottest and most uncomfortable part of summer. It’s called the “dog days” because it coincides with the heliacal rising of Sirius in the constellation Canis Major. Furthermore, the Greeks believed the luminous Sirius (from seiros: scorching) caused the extra hot days. I mention this because it relates to the alzabo which in the Lexicon Urthus is from the archaic Arabic “al-dhi’b” which refers to a wolf, a jackal, or a star in Canis Major.

“How may I - even I who know nothing - have a place among the wise of the city? For I wish to study spells that are not sacred all my days, and not go into the friendless world to dig and carry for bread”

• Another paradoxical and ironic statement: he’s been studying all his life, but knows nothing. A Socratic kind of wisdom but also represents spiraling madness. Critically, he wants to study non-sacred spells; he turns away from the divine.

“ Do you recall how, when you were hardly more than a boy, I taught you the art by which we flesh sons from dream stuff? How skillful you were in these days, surpassing all the others! Go now, and flesh such a son, and I will show it to the hooded ones, and you will be as we.”

• Groomer! And if Wolfe is trying to evoke ancient Greece with this story, it’s well-founded that older Athenian men would often indulge their passion for youth. This would explain the use of the carnal word “flesh” to describe the creative process. Sex magic is a common occult practice and is certainly non-sacred. The passing of seasons represents the cyclical nature of trauma and abuse.
• Wolfe uses very unsettling language: “And the old man who had taught him thought of the beauty of the trees that had for so many years delighted his eyes like the white limbs of women.”

“Winter came stalking into the land from his frozen capital, where the sun rolls along the edge of the world like a trumpery gilded ball and the fires that flow between the stars and Urth kindle the sky. His touch turned the waves to steel, and the city of the magicians welcomed him, hanging banners of ice from its balconies and heaping its roofs with glaces of snow.”

• Perhaps a reference to Saturnalia but does not follow the ancient Greece theme. Saturnalia occurred near the winter solstice because the sun enters Capricorn, the astrological house of Saturn, at that time. Capricorn fits in with the Pan imagery as it too is a goat-like being.
• Saturn represents the cyclical course of time and season (Greek equivalent Chronos). Saturn would regularly devour his own children; this fits into the aforementioned cycle of trauma.
• Saturn is often represented with a sickle: a symbol of mankind’s partial control over the natural world.

“In spring, the most beautiful maidens of the city, the daughters of the magicians, were clothed in green; and while the soft winds of spring teased their golden hair, they walked unshod through the portal of the city, and down the narrow path that led to the quay, and boarded the black-sailed ship that waited them. And because of their golden hair, and their gowns of green faille, and because it seemed to the magicians that they were reaped like grain, they were called Corn Maidens.”

• Here the sickle imagery is introduced directly. The Corn Maidens are human sacrifices, but are compared to grain and corn; sent into the “unpastured sea.”

“Looking from his window saw the maidens filing by, he set aside all his books and began to draw such figures as no man had ever seen, and to write in many languages, as his master had taught him aforetime.”

• Is this not what Wolfe does in his writing? He constantly appropriates ancient words from forgotten languages to do his “magic.”

“ At first it seemed to him that all the skill his master had taught him of old had deserted him, for from the first light to the moonlight he was alone in his chambers save for the moth that fluttered sometimes to show the insignia of Death at his undaunted candle flame.

• More meta stuff: writer's block
• A moth showing the insignia of death is an interesting comparison. This moth could be interpreted as the final stage of metamorphosis before death. It could also refer to the Bombyx Mori, the silk moth. Mori in this sense means mulberry, but mori can also mean death (as in memento mori). The silkworm has a similar symbology to the scythe in that it represents man’s control of nature. This is the domesticated version of the silkworm that relies completely on humans for its survival and is genetically modified to promote silk production. This reflects the city’s practice of human farming and sacrifice.

“Then there crept into his dreams another; and he, knowing who that other was, welcomed him, though the dreams were fleeting and soon forgotten.”

• The Irony here is that although he works tirelessly practicing his magic, he only summons the being when he is not working, asleep and unconscious. He welcomes this being into his mind. “He heard the step, always in another room” He’s unable to pinpoint this being’s being; he can only pinpoint its secondary effects. As he continues his magic, the aftereffects become increasingly pronounced until finally the illusory becomes real. Milton describes hell as “darkness visible.” I think Wolfe is going for a similar effect here.

“Then the student dared turn himself where he sat, and he saw standing before him a youth haughty of port, wide of shoulder, and mighty of thew. Command was in his firm mouth, knowing wit in his bright eyes, and courage in all his face. Upon his brow sat that crown that is invisible to every eye, but can be seen even by the blind; the crown beyond price that draws brave men to a paladin, and makes weak men brave.

• The student’s creation terrifies him, but he doesn’t want to show his fear.
• “Haughty of port” meaning prideful with an air of superiority. Going back to Milton: “round he (Satan) throws his baleful eyes, that witnessed huge affliction and dismay, mixed with obdurate pride and steadfast hate.” Classic Luciferian pride.
• Contrary to popular depictions of Satan, he is one of God’s highest creations: “Whoever he is, the “Devil” is among the very first and best creatures of God. He is, so to speak, perfect enough, wise enough, powerful enough, one can almost say divine enough, to know God and not to surrender to him - to know him and yet opt against him, to desire freedom from him. But since this freedom is impossible in the love and light which always lead to God and to a free surrender to him, it must of necessity be fulfilled in negation, hatred, and rebellion.” (Alexander Schmemann). Satan is God’s highest creation but he is the most base, he is wise yet chooses irrationality, in Wolfe’s description he wears the invisible crown that all see. Satan is an ironic, paradoxical, and tragic figure.
• Milton also describes Satan as a commander

“Often I have seen, like a green serpent called by the notes of a pipe, a column of green slip down the cliff below our city to the quay.”

• Again Wolfe uses Miltonian imagery: “Thus they Breathing united force with fixed thought moved on in silence to soft pipes that charmed Their painful steps O’er the burnt soil.” Both descriptions suggest a snake charmer playing his pipes.
• This connects Satan and Pan: pan pipes as well as ostensible concern for his nymphs

“At this the young man’s eye flashed, and he demanded: ‘Who is this ogre, and what form has he, and where does he dwell?’”

• The ogre is the beast and the minotaur that lives in the west. The West is another symbol of death and the unconscious.

“His name no man knows, for no man can approach near enough…His harbor is an isle to the west, where a channel with many a twist and bend, dividing and redividing, reaches far inland. It is on the isle, so my lore teaches me, that the Corn Maidens are made to dwell; and there he rides at anchor in the midst of them, turning his eye ever to left and right to watch them in their despair.”

• Does no man know its name because no one has discovered it or because it doesn’t exist? Or are both the same?
• Eye of Sauron reference. Masonic all-seeing eye which masons say represents the omnipresence and omniscience of God, but, in reality, represents an all-powerful control system that constrains mankind. When Severian first goes against his guild he says of his fellow torturers: “ I saw them as powerful, the active principle of an inimical and nearly perfect machine.” Severian first realizes that Nessus is a vast control mechanism; the torturers are a gear in the infernal machine.
  
• The beast lies in the labyrinth. The twisting and bending channels describe a labyrinthine structure without directly calling it a labyrinth. When Domnina first observes Father Inire’s mirrors: “She ran to the curtains hoping to find another door behind them, but as soon as she pulled one aside, one of the eight walls painted with labyrinths opened and Father Inire stepped out. Behind him she saw what she called a bottomless hole filled with light.” Wolfe is trying to show that the beast, the control mechanism, is tied to these mirrors.
  
• The young man fleshed from dreams relates to the fish fleshed from reflected light in Father Inire’s mirrors. They are both paradoxical creations; how can one create reality from the virtual (dream stuff and mere reflections)? The fish is clearly a reference to Christ and the ichthys; Domnina even references Pascha. But this Christ is a virtual Christ, an antichrist. In Revelation, the Antichrist is depicted as the ape of Christ, but ultimately the Antichrist is a mere illusionist: “And for this cause God shall send them strong delusion, that they should believe a lie” (Thessalonians 2:11).
  

“For I am Noctua, the daughter of Night, and the daughter too of him whom you have come to slay…For though he did not know why, being of the stuff of dreams he was drawn to her; and she, who eyes held starlight, to him…At this the princess took pity on him, for all who have the stuff of dreams about them seem fair in some degree at least to the daughters of the night, and he fairest of all.

• Noctua means owl from Latin nox meaning night (and she is quite literally from her mother Nox). Nox is an important aspect of Thelema or the occult practices of Aleister Crowley. Nox is the formula of the night of pan, the “crossing of the abyss” and the union with “our lady of abominations” Babalon (from Revelations the whore of Babylon). In Nox, the adept experiences unification with the All through ecstatic destruction of the ego-self, dissolving duality into one or, in other words, nonsense. Ego death is a core element of mind control (MK Ultra and Project Monarch** remember the silkworm symbol).
• It’s clear from this passage and later passages that many others have been sent on this mission in the past. However, Noctua feels a particular affection for this commander.

“At length Night came, and they saw her striding from islet to islet with her bats about her shoulders and her dire wolves dogging her steps. No more than an easy carronade shot from their anchorage she seemed, yet they all observed that she passed not before Hesperus or even Sirius; but they before her. For a moment only she turned her face toward them, and none could be certain what her look conveyed. But all of them wondered if indeed the ogre had taken her without her will as her daughter had said; and if so, if she had not lost the resentment she might be imagined to have felt.”

• Hesperus represents Venus the morning star in Latin Lucifer or light bringer. As Russell puts it, the evening star is the morning star; it represents the drama of a hero striving for the highest seat of heaven but being cast out of heaven (matches the movement of Venus in the sky). Another connection to Sirius.
• Another suggestion that perhaps this quest is not as it seems.

“In ancient times, so it is said, a tattered child, the daughter of a fisherman, found on the sand a stoppered flask, and by breaking the seal and drawing forth the cork became queen from ice to ice. Just so it seemed, an elemental being, strong with the strength of the forging of creation, debouched from the tall smokestacks of their ship, tumbling over himself in dark joy and growing with a rush, as the wind comes.”

• This could be a Pandora’s box reference, critically Pandora. Another dualistic notion, that what saves the day also causes doom. Or perhaps Odysseus’ bag of winds; the aid turns into the curse. Fits into the overall narrative of the story that Severian is both a torturer and a hero. He is “severed” and “severs” into two. Dorcas: “All of you are torturers, one way or another.”

“Then he strode to the rail and looked down; but with such an expression that no one, not even the most brave, dared to look at him. When he lifted his eyes at last, his face was set and grim and with no word to any man he took himself to his cabin and barred the door.”

• Obviously despondent. Either about the evil he released into the world or that his great battle was with a phantasm or that the whole quest was a lie.

“But on the morning of the third day, the young man fleshed from dreams came out of his cabin and began to walk up and down the deck as he was wont to do”

• Allusion to the resurrection of Jesus on the third day. His cabin serves as his “tomb.”

“At this he looked up into the very vault of the firmament. And some thought he prayed, and some that he sought to restrain the anger he felt against them, and some only that he hoped to gain inspiration there. But so long did he stare that they waxed afraid, even as they had when he had peered into the water, and one or two began to creep away. Then he said to them: “Behold! Do you not see the sea birds? From every corner of the sky they stream. Follow them.”

• He’s come back from the dead but is filled with anger.

“None of them ever forgot that night”

• Nothing like an orgy after a long day of work.

“Certain of the Corn Maidens wed those princes who, having spent years so long enchanted that they are loath to leave that life (and have in that time learned much of gramary), build palaces on lily pads and are seldom seen by men.”

• They go out to become demonic forces in the world. Lily pads are a call back to Chapter 2 of shadow: “When I think of my own death, or of the death of someone who has been kind to me, or even of the death of the sun, the image that comes to my mind is that of the nenuphar, with its glossy, pale leaves and azure flower.” The nenuphar exists above and below the water; they exist in two worlds just as their journey took them from the east to the west.

“And when he beheld their dark sails, smutted by the burning tar that had blinded their enemy, he believed them blackened in mourning for the young man, and he threw himself down, and so perished. For no man lives long when his dreams are dead.”

• Absurd ending to the story. You can't help but laugh at the ending. Jonas even suggests that the end of the story has been edited.
• IMO, he kills himself because the “hero’s” journey was never meant to be a success. The hooded ones need the ogre to have the utopia.

just finished watching my dvd of cat planet cuties and was doing research that there was a manga under the title Lets Go Play (could be wrong seems this ip is often translated into different titles) either way can anyone who has read the manga version let me know if theres more story past the ending point of the anime or maybe just extra details within the manga thats not in the anime

This may or may not be the best place to ask this, I'm not sure. Maybe you can direct me to the best place, if not. In the mainline Pokemon games (mostly Red and Blue in this case), if a Pokemon is traded multiple times, does the OT stay set as the first trainer? Or does the OT change to the last player to trade the Pokemon?
Example: Player Ash catches a pokemon, then trades it to Brock, who later trades it to Misty - would the OT show Ash or Brock?
Silly example, I know. I'm looking back through my original save on Blue version and trying to remember a few details about a couple of Pokemon.
Thanks.

Brief background: I've ridden mostly road bikes for decades, with power meters for about the last 15 years. I think I understand bike tech but I've never owned an e-bike.
I'm considering buying a R&M Multicharger HS Rohloff. This, I believe, is about as mechanically efficient a long-tail (?) cargo-ish bike as it's possible to spec, since it has mid-drive and supposedly 95+% efficient hub gears.
However, actual range reports, specifically this one, bother me:
https://www.reddit.com/ebikes/comments/14dvgwo/my_trusty_steed_a_riese_m%C3%BCller_multicharger_mixte/
Summary: 27km commute in 55 mins (around 30kph average) consumes approx 65% of a 750Wh (?) battery. That's an average of 531W, before pedalling effort. The OP of that thread says they have to charge at work in order to get home if they want to use maximum assist.
Now, I used to do a 32km commute on a 9kg road bike with 400m climbing in around 1h15 (26kph average), at (I would guess) well under 200W average.
I know that aero drag is going to be hugely higher on an upright utility bike, and rolling resistance a bit higher due to the 30kg-ish extra mass of the bike and panniers, but over 500W assist + pedalling effort (100W+?) is just insane for 30kph average speed.
The reason this is important to me, other than curiosity, is that I'd like to be able to do my old commute route on the Multicharger at a decent pace, i.e. 25-30kph, without charging during the trip. It's 64km round trip with ~800m of climbing, but judging by that report it's not going to be possible even on the latest double battery version.
Is my maths wrong? Did that model in January-ish 2023 come with 625Wh or 750Wh battery?
I could obvs buy a drop bar ebike instead but I was hoping to use the bike for local shopping too as a car replacement.

I want to develop a character who has DID derived from PTSD, which in turn arose from a four-day period of suffering different atrocities. The character has no explicit memories of this four-day period, but their subconscious locks it away to avoid the pain of trauma and develops disorders as a defense mechanism. In addition to the mentioned disorders, the character has developed a refusal to eat food due to an apparently irrational line of thought and sensation that if they eat, they would be hypocritical for something, and therefore, more guilty. The character has 5 personalities. So far, I've only been able to conceptualize 3: the assistant, the machine, and the monster.
The monster is the murderous and harmful personality. It's what the character most instinctively tries to avoid manifesting, even if they don't know exactly why. It's the embodiment of their potential evil, and its appearances are always accompanied by tension and suspense. Even if not actually manifested (or is it?), the mere fact of appearing in nightmares and hallucinations already triggers panic attacks in the character. This is the most mysterious personality because the character has doubts about the nature of this personality that doesn't offer many explanations beyond the simple fact that it knows everything about him and is playing and affecting him; Is it a personality or a distinct demon? Is it a delusion or is it real? Is it himself or a separate being pretending to be him to scare him? Is it capable of killing the personalities, and if so, why doesn't it do it immediately instead of leaving the personalities unharmed? Why psychologically torture him if the function of fragmented personalities is to help in self-preservation? If it's real, why does it let him escape at the end of its ''games''? This personality (or not) is physically the largest, the most technological, the most inhuman, and presents more feats of strength despite appearing less, all geared towards psychological torture mainly, a literal kind of haunting like Pennywise's. It wreaks psychological havoc on the character in each of its personalities, and the most sensitive one, which is the one the other personalities most try to avoid being impacted by the monster, is the assistant personality, the personality that personifies human essence and, being based on the Superego and Ego and reflecting the distant past spent with his deceased good mother whose values were transmitted in his childhood and adolescence, is the personality that tries to maintain order, predominate, and reunite the fragmented personalities, although this self-imposed role is not easy and it is difficult to deal with the fear of what could happen if people found out that he and the other four 'people' are actually the same person who has DID; it is difficult to represent order while his other parts are more inclined to chaos and there is no direct interaction between the personalities. The assistant personality has blindness, whose degree varies depending nuancemente on the external and internal security situation it feels, but is always present because it results from an unresolved trauma. Glasses are used, the only one who does this. Blindness is more present in the assistant personality and less manifested in the other personalities because they are more detached from humanity. The assistant personality is the most divergent from what the character was before DID. Its form is more human, shorter, and less cybernetic, precisely because it reflects a distant period from the current one of the character. (A side note: the character is, in a way, a shapeshifter, so its personalities have a distinct form, some more similar to each other and others less similar, and vice versa. The metamorphosis is restricted to the forms the character has already had in its life and afterlife, and those forms it did not have are a more adapted version of the personality concept). The assistant is the most sensitive personality and the one that most tries to be virtuous, and because of these characteristics, it is the most vulnerable to the monster.
The machine personality is the psychological barrier. A wall for any emotions. An internal shield for trauma. It looks like a robot, like a machine, both for sentimental and behavioral issues. It does not feel emotions, is extremely rational, and is very connected to technology. Indeed, it is the most technological personality in the purest sense of the word, while the monster personality is the most technological in the most monstrous sense. Its function is to offer a more impartial view of situations and, because of the monster, to be the most solid shield for the assistant personality not to be haunted directly (and possibly killed) by the monster.
There are 2 more personalities to develop, and I'm working on it since it's a new idea I had.
The character is Vox.
The conceptual ideas for this fanfic that I intend to create, combined with my hobby of self-studying psychology/psychoanalysis/psychiatry, made me realize that I attribute four disorders to Vox:
• DID: According to the DSM-5 criteria, to be considered DID it is necessary: ▪︎Two or more distinct identities or personality states are present, each with its own relatively enduring pattern of perceiving, relating to, and thinking about the environment and self. ▪︎Amnesia must occur, defined as gaps in the recall of everyday events, important personal information, and/or traumatic events. ▪︎The person must be distressed by the disorder or have trouble functioning in one or more major life areas because of the disorder. ▪︎The disturbance is not part of normal cultural or religious practices. ▪︎The symptoms cannot be due to the direct physiological effects of a substance (such as blackouts or chaotic behavior during alcohol intoxication) or a general medical condition (such as complex partial seizures).
• PTSD: Symptoms of PTSD fall into the following four categories. Specific symptoms can vary in severity.
Intrusion: Intrusive thoughts such as repeated, involuntary memories; distressing dreams; or flashbacks of the traumatic event. Flashbacks may be so vivid that people feel they are reliving the traumatic experience or seeing it before their eyes. Avoidance: Avoiding reminders of the traumatic event may include avoiding people, places, activities, objects and situations that may trigger distressing memories. People may try to avoid remembering or thinking about the traumatic event. They may resist talking about what happened or how they feel about it. Alterations in cognition and mood: Inability to remember important aspects of the traumatic event, negative thoughts and feelings leading to ongoing and distorted beliefs about oneself or others (e.g., “I am bad,” “No one can be trusted”); distorted thoughts about the cause or consequences of the event leading to wrongly blaming self or other; ongoing fear, horror, anger, guilt or shame; much less interest in activities previously enjoyed; feeling detached or estranged from others; or being unable to experience positive emotions (a void of happiness or satisfaction). Alterations in arousal and reactivity: Arousal and reactive symptoms may include being irritable and having angry outbursts; behaving recklessly or in a self-destructive way; being overly watchful of one's surroundings in a suspecting way; being easily startled; or having problems concentrating or sleeping. Many people who are exposed to a traumatic event experience symptoms similar to those described above in the days following the event. For a person to be diagnosed with PTSD, however, symptoms must last for more than a month and must cause significant distress or problems in the individual's daily functioning. Many individuals develop symptoms within three months of the trauma, but symptoms may appear later and often persist for months and sometimes years. PTSD often occurs with other related conditions, such as depression, substance use, memory problems and other physical and mental health problems.
The four tabs below provide brief descriptions of four conditions related to PTSD: acute stress disorder, adjustment disorder, disinhibited social engagement disorder, and reactive attachment disorder. Source: https://www.psychiatry.org/patients-families/ptsd/what-is-ptsd • Psychotic Depression: Psychotic depression Some people who have severe depression may also experience hallucinations and delusional thinking, the symptoms of psychosis.
Depression with psychosis is known as psychotic depression.
Symptoms of depression Someone with depression feels sad and hopeless for most of the day, practically every day, and has no interest in anything. Getting through the day feels almost impossible.
Other typical symptoms of depression may include:
fatigue (exhaustion) disturbed sleep changes in appetite feeling worthless and guilty being unable to concentrate or being indecisive thoughts of death or suicide Doctors describe depression as mild, moderate or severe depending on your symptoms, how long it lasts and how much it affects your daily life.
Read more about the psychological, physical and social symptoms of clinical depression
Symptoms of psychosis Having moments of psychosis (when people lose some contact with reality) means experiencing:
delusions – thoughts or beliefs that are unlikely to be true hallucinations – hearing and, in some cases, feeling, smelling, seeing or tasting things that are not there; hearing voices is a common hallucination The delusions and hallucinations almost always reflect the person's deeply depressed mood – for example, they may become convinced they're to blame for something, or that they've committed a crime.
"Psychomotor agitation" is also common. This means not being able to relax or sit still, and constantly fidgeting.
At the other extreme, a person with psychotic depression may have "psychomotor retardation", where both their thoughts and physical movements slow down.
People with psychotic depression have an increased risk of thinking about suicide. Source for more information: https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/conditions/psychotic-depression/
• An as-yet unidentified eating disorder: This is the only one in which I do not know which exact diagnosis it fits into. It is a consequence of the trauma from the four-day period - including this period being one of the biggest mysteries in history and a great source of theories for readers, as it is the root of Vox's psychological mess, the divergence point that originated the entire fanfic and which the protagonist DOES NOT want to remember - that resulted in the trauma of eating. He does not feel like eating, not even the SIN OF GLUTTONY is able to make him eat - he is immune to her powers - and feels an apparently inexplicable instinct of guilt and hypocrisy when trying to eat, as if he were the worst being in the universe if he ate a food and a huge hypocrite; why and what exactly this innate thought of judging himself as a hypocrite is another mystery in the plot.
In this story, at least in the initial arcs, no one associates all five as being the same person, at most they associate only one/two of them with Vox. With the climaxes (yes, it's in the plural) throughout the story, the characters will find evidence and suspect and associate more and more of the other alters (as I call Vox's fragmented personalities) with the same person, which increases the narrative tension. Being the assistant personality the last to be accurately associated by the other characters, although she was the one that had the most tension and care in NOT being associated throughout the story because she is the human essence of Vox, reflects more the fragility of his soul state and is not ready to deal with the harsh social consequences that the actions of the other alters and Vox before DID caused, needing solid support and not wanting to lose all the friendly social relationships, although fragile, that he built as a separate being from Vox and the other alters. It is easier to hate than to love. The assistant personality does not want to risk losing the little support he has built. These relationships are extremely valuable to him. He doesn't want to have this taken away from him anymore. The relationships he built are based on the inhabitants of Hazbin Hotel.
All alters have Vox's trademark: the TV as
a head. All... except the assistant personality. This alter is the ONLY one that has a human head and is the smallest, being even a few centimeters smaller than Lucifer. The size of his hair goes up to just above his shoulders, but he ties them in a professional hairstyle. His clothes are similar to those of an assistant, and they have a palette of blue, black, and white colors. The color of his hair, influenced by his powers as a Media Demon, is black with dark blue streaks and tips.
His human appearance reflects a period when Vox was human. In my story Vox is a trans man, which means he was born female and went through a transition at some point in his adolescence or adulthood. The appearance of the assistant personality reflects an episode during his 13/14 years. In this episode, he did a special show for his father's assistant at a fancy restaurant. It was her last night in his life as she would unfortunately be sent away without a chance to return, and he was aware of this. He also knew that his father was responsible for her being sent away, although his innocence at the time made him not immediately detect that she would be KILLED by a hired hitman hired by the father and mother. The assistant was a loved one by the teenage Vox. She was a loving mother he never had, and because of the emotional attachment to her, he decided to do a musical show, showing for the first and last time to anyone his talent for piano and violin. He, at the time still not going through the transition, dressed more masculinely, used the best appearance he could, and used a pseudonym to enter the restaurant and make the presentation without being detected by the family. He did not explicitly specify for whom the music was intended, but the assistant, secretly his true biological mother, knew it was for her. That was the last time he would see her, and he made every second of that night count.
Vox's human female name was Elizabeth. I chose this name because it is a beautiful name, it was the name of the former queen of the United Kingdom, and it was the name of one of Jack the Ripper's victims, Elizabeth Stride.
Vox, during his adult life as a man and even post-death, buried his past as a woman. It was not a source of pride, especially for the family abuses suffered and the transphobia of the time. If the Vees, the people closest to him currently, do not have a deep understanding of Vox's human life as a man, imagine their knowledge of the initial part of his life before the transition!
That's why being called "Elizabeth" during the direct and indirect appearances of the monster personality already causes genuine and unmasked panic in him. It is an indication of knowledge of his deepest layers.
The story has a suspenseful atmosphere, with some horror scenes. We follow the alters individually, and as the story progresses, we realize along with the protagonist some strange, wrong things. The alters do not communicate directly with each other and, therefore, the character does not immediately perceive the signs of having multiple personalities. It was as if there were four people in one body and none of them noticed, according to the perspective of the assistant personality, the alter that we slowly follow discovering the huge web of the situation he's in. There's something very wrong with Vox, more specifically his soul. But there's an invisible barrier that prevents the character from investigating further, like an elephant in the middle of the room. Each alter has its own course, all acting as if they were distinct people and not associating with each other. This is bad socially speaking in the long run, because sooner or later the clash of beliefs and values built among the alters will come into conflict and the individual consequences of their actions will negatively impact each other. The monster personality served to add more salt to the wound. It is by far the most harmful, appearing little but causing a huge mess in return. Don't think of it as a kind of Hulk, because Hulk is a destructive monster that his counterpart, Bruce, can try to control and turn into a hero, and everyone is aware of Hulk's nature, which is easy to understand and try to contain; whereas the monster personality is an enigma at the same time as it is a nightmare, there is no discussion with it, it causes psychological terror in Vox's alters, its apparently internal actions affect the external world of the alters, it is unpredictable, it is the literal meaning of hell. The monster personality has already caused physical harm to the alters, although they did not exactly remember, mainly the assistant personality, the most oblivious of all for a reason. I want to relate the monster personality to Roo.

Hello,
Last year I started learning Blender (3.+), but had to drop it for a while because of my studies. When I was learning it back then, everything was going smoothly.
I decided to pick up learning Blender again, and decided to update it to the latest version (4.1). However I started noticing that Blender would completely freeze almost each time I would go into edit mode on an object or do something to the object in edit mode. I am not even able to save it, and I have to force quit the program each time it freezes. It's basically impossible to work with it.
I noticed that there were other users having similar problems with their Macs, but I haven't found a solution. I found one solution was to disable autosave, but that didn't work.
Please help, I really want to take on learning Blender! Thank you :)

I love whenever OpenAI release a new version, it means the prompts I use to be more efficient at work function again. Thats a huge win. Last year I used 3.5 until it was too much a struggle and fighting to get it to return the answers it used to do. Then 4.0 was launched and it cooperated again until the past 1-2 months where it became more a struggle and too much effort, so I just did the tasks myself again. But now its back to where it was at 3.5 launch / 4.0 launch and they are just amazing.
It made me realize just how strong a tool it is and how fast I get used to having them at my disposal. But also how fast these tools can be taken away again. Just a couple of nerfs (or an upcoming release, et appears) and they become like discussing with a teenager, where I have to argument, convince, explain and rephrase over and over again only to end up with so-so results.
So.. thank you for the release. I am happy again.

Here are the posts from the last week still marked as "Unknown." Please help identify them if you can!

Date	Title	Author
2024-05-08	[African> English] Flo me lah	u/Carl_is_Llama
2024-05-08	unknown to english	u/deon-vv
2024-05-08	[Unknown > English] looking to translate what is on this small piece of metal, possibly coin	u/Emergency-Fix1915
2024-05-08	Unknown > English	u/Delirious_solace
2024-05-08	[Unknown>English] Can someone translate this writing for me? Might be Arabic	u/Logical-Rise-1268
2024-05-09	[Unknown > English] Strange writing in my town. Bengali? Reddit please help!	u/Designer_Ad7620
2024-05-09	[unknown>english] pendant that was gifted	u/pizzamaje
2024-05-10	[Multiple languages > English] Can someone please translate this sentence? "tá an дайн on pakko tamat"	u/The_Dub_v
2024-05-10	[unknown>english]	u/Full_Mousse_8082
2024-05-10	Unknown > English Someone Yelled at me in a game	u/Optimal-Historian961
2024-05-10	[Unknown> English] Graffiti in Lithuania.	u/alaa2basi
2024-05-11	Unknown languages> English	u/Fit-Attention-1047
2024-05-11	Unknown > English	u/diogorocha_
2024-05-11	[Unknown > English] Looks like hindi or sanskrit to me, probably a mantra, but i couldn't find anything with a brief search(might be upside down)	u/Dezilious
2024-05-11	(Unknown > English) looking for some help identifying these 2 letters or numerals on this silver sugar bowl.	u/Sasquatchmess
2024-05-12	[Unknown > English] Google Translate Won't Read It	u/KiriChan02
2024-05-12	[Unknown > English] Found some paintings with those (manufacturer?) markings. Would appreciate to know what it says	u/THCheshko
2024-05-12	Unknown>English Ring w/ characters	u/Optimal_Ask_1066
2024-05-14	[ (Partially) Unknown > English ] Cabala from 1880's.	u/PerformanceVirtual64
2024-05-14	[Unknown > English] Something written on a car in what is perhaps a South Indian language	u/OldSeat7658
2024-05-14	Unknown > English	u/Big_Elephant_579
2024-05-15	[?>english]	u/Available-District47

Please make any identifications on the individual request pages.

Even typing the question in the title sounded creepy lol but I'll give some background information: I'm about to graduate high school and go to college. I was an 8th grader in middle school in 2020 and then the pandmeic happened and I never saw that school or any of the teachers again. In 8th grade I had this one teacher who I looked up to so dearly. She was grumpy and mean to everyone else but for some reason kind to me. We talked more than her other students. When I got a boyfriend she would ask me about him and even told him once that I reminded her of a younger version of herself (he wasn't even one of her students she just stopped him to say that to him). I struggled so much mentally when I was that age and going to school was so hard for me but she always made it better.
I believe March 13, 2020 was the last day most people had school before everything went crazy but ours was the day before because a pipe or something broke in the school. That day we were going to be sent home early because of the pipe breaking and we had to wait in our classroom for the buses to come pick us up. There were only a few kids left (including me) waiting for the bus to come. My teacher went to another classroom to talk to a teacher and brought back my boyfriend to let us sit together while we waited and that was the last time I ever saw her :(
I think of her a lot still to this day. I'm so sad I never had a chance to tell her how much she meant to me. She helped me through such a hard time in my life and I wish she knew. I really want her to know how much she inspires me still to this day and I feel like this is a good time since I'm about to graduate.
This is when we get to the question in the title. I grew up in a small town and I don't live there anymore and after covid I did online school and I have since then. To find her I looked up the school I used to go to and I tried to see if there was somewhere I could email her but she doesn't seem to work at that school anymore. She has a very unique name so I looked her up to see if she was on facebook or anything but she wasn't. I did, however, find an address on one of those public record websites when I searched her name. She doesn't live in the town I used to live anymore but she does live close to it. In the previous addresses the town I used to live in is listed. I believe this is her because like I said she has a very unique name and the age listed sounds correct. Even if it isn't her I would still like to try.
Would it be creepy to send a letter to the address I found online? She's quite old so I don't want to put it off until like 20 years when she possibly isn't here anymore. She helped me through so much and she's the only teacher I've felt a connection to. She was never anything but kind to me and I just want to thank her. Even if there's a chance it isn't her I would still like to try. What would you do? :)