Currently I am on a semi nuclear stack. My derm has me on 1 mg fin, 2.5 oral minox, and a fin/min topical all once daily. I have a full head of hair but it is thin so I keep it somewhat long. Last haircut I got I made it the shortest I have in a long time and really liked the way it looked, but goddamn its been like less than 2 weeks and I feel like I wanna get it cut again. I dont know if its just me or my healthy hairs are growing so much faster from the meds. Can anyone else relate

CW Domestic Abuse, graphic violence
Laurens' stomach seemed to flip and jolt with every bump of the road heading to the motel outside of town just past the main supermarket. Tears ran down her face. The car seemed to fishtail a little as she pulled in. There were several problems with her marriage. Namely that he had a tendency to hit her and accuse her of cheating on him, the most current problem was that he was cheating on her in a motel where everyone they knew could see. Lauren wasn’t thinking clearly as she banged on the door, she knew right away which one it would be, she could hear his voice coming out from it.
“OPEN UP!” She screamed as she pounded on the door. Lauren could feel the general sensation of her hand resisting the door. It would more than likely hurt at some point when she came off the adrenaline.
Then, the door did open. Daniel Anderson took up most of the frame and he was angry. Lauren could hear the other girl screaming inside but couldn’t seem to make out what she was saying. Her heart stopped as she looked into Daniels face. He was Angry. The kind of angry that meant he was going to hurt her, whether anyone could see it or not. Lauren backed up from the door to avoid being pulled in the room but Daniel followed her out.
“What are you doing here?” Daniel asked, his voice was even and low.
“I got 3 calls about you being here with some whore.” Lauren retorted. She had started edging towards her car at this point, seemingly just now realizing she had made a mistake in coming here. Her heart seemed to stop altogether as he reached for her.
Lauren ducked but he caught her by her hair, winding the strands in between his fingers and yanking her face so that her ear was next to her mouth.
“What did you call her?” He whispered through clenched teeth. Lauren remained mute at this point. She felt her heart speed up and she tried to figure out how to get out of this. He’d never hit her in public. If she could remind him where they were… “I asked you a question Bitch.
If Lauren had thought about answering at that point, she wasn’t given much of a chance. He swung her head up and then forward, the momentum knocking her to the ground. Then he kicked her, pain blossomed through her midsection stunning her and she had trouble catching her breath. His hands came back down and he began throwing her face into the bumper of his bright red truck. After a minute he threw her face in a different direction and she could taste gravel.
“Apologize.” Daniel said in a warning voice. Lauren tried to stand but he mimicked grabbing at her and she shrunk back. “Apologize to her for calling her a whore.”
Lauren said nothing, somewhat in shock and mostly in pain. She could taste blood and felt it running down her face. This time he did grab her by the arm and yanked her up in one movement.
“I Said. Apologize. “ his words were clear.
Lauren did. Stuttering out an I’m sorry in the other woman’s direction.
“You best be home when I get back.” With that Daniel turned around and went back in the room.
Lauren assessed her options but she couldn’t seem to think. She reached into her car and pulled out her purse and started walking. She couldn’t see out of one eye hardly at all and her head hurt in the back. Lauren knew that he had pulled out a significant amount of hair. She thought she recalled some sharp pain as her face was pulled back from the bumper but she couldn’t remember what had happened in any sort of order.
It was at least 2 miles to her friend’s house. Lauren knocked on the door and when Natalie opened the door Lauren pushed her way in. Natalie hissed as she looked at Lauren.
“What the fuck happened?” Natalie gingerly touched her eye, or at least Laurent thought it was the area heer eye should be in. She hadn’t realized how numb she’d been getting here until she wasn’t numb anymore and the throbbing started up. Todd, Natalie’s husband came from the bedrooms and audibly gasped as well. Lauren headed for the hair salon in the back as Natalie whispered to Todd.
Natalie found Lauren in the salon, lights on and sitting in the chair.
“I’ve got enough here for a haircut but I’ll have to get back to you on the last minute/middle of the night fee. I need it all chopped off if you would. I know he ripped a bit in the back so it’s uneven anyway. Honestly it’s irresponsible to keep my hair this long anyway,do people still do that Kate plus Eight hair? The may I speak to your manager hair?” Lauren had trouble forming the words but she kept going hoping that Natalie understood her. She purposefully faced away from the mirror.
“I can cut your hair for sure. Wouldn’t you rather go to a hospital?” Natalie asked carefully playing with Lauren’s hair. Lauren shookher head quickly and immediately regretted it. Todd came in the room with an ice pack and a washcloth. Natalie filled up a bowl of water and started carefully patting away dried blood and finding the actual cuts. There was water and ibuprofen with a few tylenol mixed in, Lauren had trouble with it.
Natalie cut her hair silently. Working around one spot and then going back to it before announcing that it was as good as it was going to get there until the massive cut healed.
“You want to stay here tonight babe?” Natalie asked as she once more took to wiping her face from the still open cuts.
“No I couldn't do that to you, he told me to go home and when he finds that I’m not there… I left my car at the motel. '' Lauren knew on some level she had and knew there had been a reason, but now that the adrenaline was amping down and quickly she had no idea what she was going to do now.
“The motel?”
“Yeah, he met that girl..that one… Beth, that’s her name. They were up there and I had 3 people call me to tell me his truck was there. I just lost it and drove up there. I didn’t expect this to happen. I figured he’d be caught and apologetic.”
“That fucking bitch, I know her. She has no shame. Anyone gives her a little attention and she thinks they’re married. Tells everyone about it. She smells to high heaven too.” Natalie said incensed.
“Well I got up there and confronted him and he did this until I apologi-apolo-. “ Lauren felt sick suddenly and didn’t bother to finish. It hurt more to talk anyway.
“Why don’t you kick him out? It’s your house, the bills are in your name, you survived years without him before so it’s not like you need to worry about money. Serve him with eviction papers and go hide out somewhere until the month is up. Then bar him from the house.”
“I can’t afford a vacation and last time I tried to kick him out, it didn’t go well.I’ve got nothing in savings or otherwise. I can’t stay with anyone because he’ll come find me and hurt someone else in the process. My kids are already going to be pissed about this and if I disappear it's them he’ll hassle.I can’t afford the medical bills if I go in for this and I can’t afford the next beating if I don’t go home and get there before he does. Plus he knows exactly where I work.”
“You aren’t going to have a job if you're dead and he’s going to kill you.. At this point we’re just waiting for when. I can help you. I can loan you money, Fuck, I’ll just give you the god damn money. “
“We both know you don’t have any more than I do. “ Lauren said leaning back
“Well, you aren’t going home tonight, call your kids and warn them that he’ll be calling and to get a police car out there or something. I’ll call Lottie and explain that you are taking a few days off, and you most certainly are taking a few days off ma’am. You can’t go in looking like that, Lottie’ll kick you back out as soon as you show up. I know where you can go for now.”
Lauren went out back, wincing as she lit up a cigarette and took a few good drags before calling her oldest daughter and explaining that Daniel was going to be angry and to be on the lookout and if she could please call her siblings because she just did not have the energy tonight. Lauren promised to go to the hospital, figuring she’d end up going at some point and assured her daughter that she would be fine. After hanging up Todd got her attention at the edge of the yard and gestured toward the car. Lauren got up and limped over to it to climb in and wondering why the actual fuck she had worn flip flops tonight for this. .
It was a long drive out of town and into the mountains. Lauren apologized profusely every time she looked at the car clock. Todd waved his hand dismissively and handed her a fresh ice pack.
“We’re going to see my cousin, he lives up in the woods doing work for the park. He’s pretty far out there and doesn’t come into town much so Daniel won’t know about him. I’d turn your phone off as a precaution though. GPS trackers and whatnot.”
Lauren had already turned her phone off and felt herself dozing off. Unsure of how long she had slept she was awoken by the car stopping. Todd told her to wait where she was while he talked to his cousin. Lauren wondered what she was going to do if this guy didn’t let her stay here tonight. A few minutes later Todd was back and helping her hobble inside. The other man looked like he’d been woken up. He looked Lauren up and down and then waved Todd away. Todd slumped his shoulders and walked back to the car.
“I’m Eric, you’ll get my room. I’ve got some shirts on the bed to sleep in. The dog might insist on laying with you don’t mind dogs too much. I’ll be right out here on the couch if you need anything, bathroom is over here. I can get you a water and some more ibuprofen.” Eric seemed nice. Lauren worried that Daniel would find her out here with another man and finish what he started at the motel. The motel that seemed to be eons ago. Lauren felt her knees start to buckle and she swayed. Eric grabbed her and helped to the bed. Lauren rolled over and managed to get under the blankets before passing out.
Lauren came to hazily and found that the man here was in the room, he seemed taller as in a lot taller.
“I just want to touch you.” Eric slurred out. He swayed awkwardly and seemed to float to the bed, his hands grabbed at her. Lauren was frozen and then noticed to her horror that her husband was right behind him. Daniel came around to the other side of the bed smiling as if he’d known all along that she would be here. Lauren pulled her legs back and tried to scoot back into the headboard as the men got on the bed and started pulling her legs apart and shoving their palms into her collarbone to push her back. Lauren cried out screaming at them to stop as they started biting at her hips and inner thighs. Then they were laughing as they bit into her and pulled her skin off. Eric moved his mouth to her face and bit into her forehead and that set off fireworks of pain through her head.
Lauren awoke gasping and throwing her hands up defensively. Grey light filtered into the room through the blinds and Lauren was soaked in sweat. Her head most definitely did hurt. Badly. The memory of the men all over her made her sick and she jumped out of the bed and scrambled to the hallway towards where she thought the bathroom would be. She tried to grab at her hair to hold it out of the way only to come up short. It was cut. By the time she had finished throwing up and was leaning over the toilet trying to regain her breath, Eric had appeared wiping sleep out of his eyes. Lauren was slightly relieved to see him at his normal size although she shrunk from his touch when he reached out to steady her. He put his hands up to show that he was backing off.
“Hungry? I can make you something to eat to take some painkillers with so you don’t get so sick again. I’m going to run you into town when you think you’re ready. We can go to the ER if you’d like or maybe the prompt care? But you will have to go in. Looks like you broke your face.” Eric spoke slowly to her, keeping his hands where she could see them. Lauren just nodded at him dumbly. Which sent a new wave of agony through her body and she started to crumble. Eric reached carefully and steadied her with as little physical contact as possible. He led her to the couch and got her sat down, bringing her toast and ibuprofen with water.
Lauren tried to relax into the pain until the ibuprofen kicked in. She tried to disappear into herself, she counted by 13s. Finally after what seemed like forever, the painkillers kicked in taking a very large edge off of her pain. She let out a very audible moan as the pain abated ever so slightly. Her shoulders dropped.
“If we’re going into town and avoiding your husband maybe you should wear some different clothes? I’ve got some guy clothes that will fit you ok.” Eric said, handing her folded jeans and a shirt. Lauren just took them and went into the room to change. Mens jeans seemed to change her entire body shape and she did feel a little safer. Lauren had no idea what she was going to do when it came down to it. She was serious last night about not knowing how to leave him. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to, she had tried once before to end things, he called his son over to help him carry his stuff out and then when his son arrived he had held Lauren still while Daniel beat the shit out of her stomach and explained that he wasn’t leaving. Lauren needed her job, the house was paid off, she had gotten it in the divorce and had worked hard to pay it up over the years, but there were other bills and taxes and at some point Lauren wanted to retire long enough to enjoy it.
The car ride to town was nerve wracking. Lauren had used Eric’s phone to call ahead to the doctors office and let them know she would be there and that she would like to be brought back as soon as possible. Lauren waited until they were back in town to turn her phone back on. It powered up and looked fine until the phone started registering the texts and voicemails that had been coming in since last night. Once upon a time Daniel had reacted very negatively to her not responding to his message fast enough so Lauren had eventually set his ringer as an alarm so she knew right away to pick her phone up. Eric’s car sounded like a national disaster was going on. Lauren thought about throwing it out the window as her panic started to grow. Eric grabbed it from her and shoved it under his leg muffling the sound slightly.
“Sorry.” Lauren mumbled. Eric shrugged and didn’t look at her, instead keeping his eyes on the road. “I need to stop at the courthouse first to fill out paperwork for an order of protection and get it filed. Then the doctor's office. That way if he figures out where I am they’re already ready for me. “
Lauren checked her phone for any messages not from Daniel and responded to any that needed it and then she turned it back off as they pulled up to the courthouse. Eric handed her his ball cap to hide her face and they casually walked in together. The security guard stopped her and she lifted her hat and faced him head on. He winced and gave her the floor she needed.
“I still haven’t looked, how bad is it?” Lauren asked as they waited for the elevator.
“It’s pretty bad. But it’s your face and it’s probably mostly swelling. “ Eric said without looking at her.
Lauren knew the clerk and judging by the look on her face she ought to hurry to the doctor’s office.
The doctor’s office was it’s own sort of hell. First, the receptionist didn’t want to send her straight back before the nurse came out. Second, Lauren had been in town long enough that she was paranoid every time someone walked in, which she felt she wouldn’t be if they had sent her back like they had discussed. By the time Odette the nurse came out Lauren was wired and Eric had to calm her down just to get her to walk back to the room.
The doctor came in and looked at her and sighed.
“He really got you this time.” Dr. Livingston said, checking the chart.
“I need pictures to add to the rest, I’ve started the proceedings for an OOP and I’d like to bring in all the pictures.”
“I’m glad to hear that. I’ll have Etta come in with the camera and give you copies to take with you so if they’re lost somehow you can get more from us. Then I’ll do an exam. Does he know where you are?”
“I’m not sure,Eric here has been driving me around and playing my bodyguard. I’d like to move as quickly as possible. I want to be out of town when he catches wind of the OOP.”
“I’ll have them let me know if he shows up.’
The pictures were as intrusive as ever. Etta smiled sympathetically as she helped Lauren tilt her head in different directions to catch every angle. After the pictures Dr. Livingston did a thorough exam and had an XRay done. Prescribed decent painkillers and did a few stitches on her forehead and somewhere in the back that Lauren hadn’t realized was cut up.
Daniel did show up so Eric and Lauren took off out the back and left, the office kept him busy and promised to give her a call as soon as he left. Eric dropped her off a block from her house to grab her things. Her truck was in the driveway. Lauren walked past it and into the house. Though she hadn’t checked the messages she had assumed that the house would be trashed from one of his fits but it wasn’t. She grabbed a few loose outfits and makeup. Glasses and medicine and a charger for a phone she was afraid to turn on. The office called to let her know he had left 2 minutes before. Her chest began to beat erratically. She couldn’t breathe.
“Notsafenotsafenotsafe.” She said to herself repeatedly to get her moving. She remembered to grab socks and real shoes, she even took extra time to get them on. The plan was to meet Eric 2 streets from the backyard in hopes of avoiding Daniel or someone that knew them and might tell Daniel who she had left with. Lauren locked the back door as she slipped out and was stopped by the next door woman who was entirely too nosey and judgemental. Grace had decided she didn’t like Lauren 20 some odd years ago when Grace had moved in. Daniel on the other hand, well she seemed to adore him. Daniel came over and mowed her yard for free and fixed her broken what the fuck ever was broken that day. Lauren knew for a fact that Grace fed Daniel information whether it was true or just some idea that Grace had gotten through her head.
“Well, what happened? Where are you headed then?” Grace asked quickly, trying to engage Lauren.
“Just a tumble and off to check something for The Jakobi's across the yard. See you later Grace.” Lauren kept walking trying to smile pleasantly.
“Oh wait, I need you to ask Danny to do something for me!” Grace hollered after Lauren, Lauren responded by running faster. Daniel’s truck roared around the corner so Lauren decided to take a different route that would involve going through the woods and meeting Eric somewhere else.
Adrenaline poured through Lauren and she put her all into it until she came out a mile up by the gas station. Lauren went inside and borrowed the landline there to call Eric to meet her at the trail head a little further on. She also bought an energy drink and chugged it before leaving. The rush made her eyes feel like they were going to pop out of her head and she laughed before running back into the woods. She imagined she must look like a mess with the backpack on and her short hair sticking everywhere with her eyes wild from the excess caffeine being chugged so quickly. Lauren kept herself going by imagining that she could hear his truck following her, that she could smell his cologne in the air behind her. Before she could stop herself she was hearing her footsteps and feeling the sensation of her head being pulled back and back into the bumper.
BAM bam BAM bam BAM bam BAM bam BAM bam BAM bam. By the time she had exploded off the trail and into the poorly kept parking lot she had completely forgotten what she was doing.
Lauren dropped her hands on her knees and panted heavily. It was Todd who threw his hands around her waist and held her steady. Lauren surprised herself by screaming and slapping at him before Todd could get her to come out of her stupor. Sobbing, she fell into his chest and bawled. She started crying about the day and then it was the day before and then the year and then her entire marriage and then it was the time her youngest daughter came home from her dad’s early and accused her of always being drunk and looking at her disgustedly. Then it was the divorce and the time she let their older daughter wear lipstick and her ex husband had smacked her in front of them and announced that Lauren was not in fact, the deciding parent on the rules in the house.
It was a very long time before Lauren was done crying. Her face hurt dully in the area that had been so intimate with the bumper, snot covered her cheeks and mouth from the futile wiping it with her sleeves. Her good eye was now also swollen and she could barely see through it now. She fell to her knees and then collapsed the rest of the way to the ground so that getting up was difficult because of how stiff she was now from the odd position. Lauren hobbled with Todd holding her upright to his truck. He went ahead and lifted her up into the seat and helped her buckle. Lauren was too tired to swat his hand away and do it herself. She just relaxed her body back in the seat and let herself try to doze.
They hit the dirt road leading to Eric’s house which woke her up again. She could see more out of her good eye and finally flipped the visor down and braced herself for the reflection she had been avoiding.
Half of her face was a mix of purple and blue, someone had said something about her cheekbone on the right being fractured a little, hey right eyebrow was not only swollen but split in the corner and a small stitch held it. Her right eye was a mix of colors and swollen shut, bruises ran down her jawline and she could see why Dr. Livingston had recommended admitting her to the hospital, Lauren herself might’ve considered it if she hadn't been terrified it would’ve made it easier for Daniel to find her and kill her. Lauren fingered her hair that was cut close to her head and tried to smooth some of the longer strands that had indeed started to poke out at different directions. The left side of her face red and blotchy from crying and it occurred to Lauren that she looked like a very fat bloated version of herself and for some reason it struck her as hysterical and she began to laugh until her stomach hurt and she was doubled over howling with laughter. Todd glanced at her and then the road, flipping back and forth between the road and Lauren. Lauren who had gone from a deep sadness to a manic laughter within a short period of time.
By the time they pulled up to Eric’s, Lauren was still laughing but had calmed a little. Todd patted her thigh and told her to stay put. To go warn Eric she presumed. When he came back he carried her from the car to the bed and Eric stood waiting with pills and water and more toast. Lauren did some concentrated breathing until she could swallow them without choking. The pills seemed to kick in immediately. Her face numbed much more than the ibuprofen had managed earlier. As her mind started to fade in and out Eric told her he had purchased her a new phone and had put her old numbers into her new phone in town and tossed the old phone.
A week later Lauren returned from town at the hearing where Daniel was served with a permanent Order Of Protection good for a year. While her face was still pretty fucked up, she was able to see out of both eyes now. The judge had seen her face and granted the order. Daniel had been arrested and would be held for awhile but she had stayed with Eric for a few more days so he could keep an eye on her mental state. Lauren was having trouble returning to her home, she had been placed on a sort of leave at work, Lauren was unsure if they could legally do that after a domestic assault but she wasn’t in the mindset to argue so she just gave up.
“You think you’re safe to go home tomorrow? “ Eric asked Lauren as they set up a fire outside.
“I think so. I don’t know if I really want to stay there anymore.” Lauren admitted. She stacked some more wood off to the side so they wouldn’t have to get back up as often.
“I have a friend who owns some cabins in the woods, he rents them out. There’s 12 or so I think, anyway he recently lost his caretaker and has been looking for someone who can stay up there year round and clean the cabins and handle the rentals. It pays well, obviously you have your own cabin to live in.” Eric passed her a joint that Lauren accepted.
“I’ll think about it.” Lauren said before breathing in and relaxing back into her camping chair and drifting away.
Lauren finished setting the table with her son, Greyson. Her daughters Cora and Audrey, were supposed to be here soon. Liam, Greyson’s 5 month old wailed from the living room and Lauren waved at Greyson to let her go tend to him. Lauren picked up the wailing baby and put her nose on top of his head, remembering the newborn smell. Her youngest was Audrey and she was 23. Liam settled as soon as he was picked up. Lauren thought of how much she was going to miss her grandkids. She lifted him up so she could blow on his baby tummy and he squealed with delight.
“I think the girls are pulling in now.” Greyson said coming in with a bottle. Liam caught sight of Daddy and his bottle and flailed toward them. Lauren handed her grandson to her own son and kissed his forehead.
“I am so proud of you. I don’t think I know any single dads who have their kids full time.” Lauren brushed Greysons hair from his forehead and smiled.
The girls came in, Audrey carrying Cora’s 3 year old son and then Cora behind her dragging an 8 year old girl whose eyes were locked on a tablet screen.
“Diana Renee, turn it off for a few minutes and walk. Jesus. You’re going to trip, say hi to grandma.” Cora said in a surly tone looking exhausted. Her face looked rounder and Lauren had a feeling Cora was pregnant again. She had the look and Lauren felt a pang that she wasn’t going to be around this time, and that she had already missed quite a bit of time. It hadn’t taken any of the kids long to catch onto Daniel being controlling and possessive and even though Lauren had argued for her kids being over every Sunday the children on their own had slowly found excuses to quit coming around the house.Not that Audrey had needed much push. For whatever reason Audrey and Lauren had never seen eye to eye. Lauren blamed her father but it was more than that too, a drive to be independent. Diana and Clayton hugged Lauren fiercely and she sat on the floor with them crawling on her while they told her anything interesting they could think of. The bruises on Lauren’s face had faded quite a bit but the kids kept looking at them without saying anything, biting their lips. Lauren assumed Cora had instructed them not to ask. Lauren had purposely waited to bring her kids over to make her announcement until her face looked better and wouldn’t scare anyone. After a while the kids ran out into the backyard to play.
“So is he really gone?” Audrey asked as the sliding door closed. Lauren sighed pretending not to notice the tone in her voice.
“Yes. He was arrested. The pictures I had taken at the doctor’s office helped. I know you guys weren’t impressed he was here as long as he was but I was working on it. “ That of course was a lie. She had snuck off to the doctors after he had beaten her and had it documented so that they would have a suspect if he killed her but the kids didn’t need to know that. At least this way they seemed to retain a little respect for their flakey mom who brought the evil villain into their lives.
“I’m just glad you’re safe mom. We were worried. Especially after you called me that night.” Cora said rocking Liam who was starting to doze off after his bottle.
“That’s why I called you guys over actually. After that happened I did some thinking. It’s just me in this big house and after everything that happened I decided to sell the house and move. I took a job the next state over up in the mountains. I’m a caretaker for cabins that get rented out to hunters and families, I’ll be living there.” Lauren smiled and started passing a brochure for the company and the area to each of her children.
“What the fuck mom? You can’t move, or at the very least you can’t sell the house. We grew up here.” Audrey said loudly, tears forming already. Lauren remembered the time her friends had all gone out for a girls weekend and Greyson had spiked a fever and Lauren had to stay home to take care of him, how suffocating it had felt to be their mother and have no life of her own. But the kids were in their twenties now, not little. They didn’t need her the same way.
“Eventually Daniel will be released and I would like to be gone when he is. I would like to live somewhere that I can make new, happier memories. You guys don’t need me as much and I’m only an hour away. I can still take grand kids when you need me and I’m not so far that I can’t come over for lunch. Plus I can offer you guys a pretty good discount in the off season. Imagine Christmas in the mountains and everyone has their own cabin to stay in instead of arguing over a bedroom.” Lauren said, hoping no one would note that it had been a very long time since anyone had spent the night here and they’d never really fought over space.
“I think it’s a good idea mom. We’ll miss the house but you’re right.” Cora said glaring at her sister. “You deserve to move forward.”
“I can help you move up there. Are you taking your furniture or is the furniture provided already? Is it safe up there? Who will come check on you? I don’t want something to happen to you and you’re stranded out there for days with no help. “ Greyson asked, looking concerned.
“I’m not sure, we can set up a system so you know I’m ok.” Lauren said pleased with her son’s concern. “As far as furniture, you guys can pick anything you want, I’m selling the rest. I’ll keep some of the dishes and my baking stuff. Plus the photograph albums, I’ll get rid of everything else.”
“Does Dad know?” Autumn asked accusingly.
“I haven’t told him, it’s really not any of his business. Nothing in this house belongs to him and his name hasn’t been on the house in at least 15 years.”
“This is our house too.” Audrey argued
“No it really isn’t anymore. You haven’t lived here in at least 5 years.”
“Audrey, chill, it’s not that big of a deal.” Cora warned. Lauren began to feel she was missing something.
“Well, you could rent it out to someone instead of getting rid of it. You could always use the extra income.” Audrey argued, looking around at everyone.
“I’d make a lot more money selling the house than I would renting it out. If there were a repair to be made I don’t want to be responsible. I’m too old to deal with all of that.” Lauren waved her hand around the house gesturing at the idea of all the work there would need to be done. “Besides someone has already made an offer, I’m fairly certain I’m going to accept it.”
“You can’t do that!”
“Yes, she can. Knock it off. She doesn’t want to live here all alone.” Greyson retorted.
The 3 of them argued together at each other and Lauren sank back into her recliner helplessly. A thought occurred to her.
“Audrey are you angry you’re losing a piece of your childhood or a piece of your inheritance?” Lauren asked icily. Audrey’s face turned red and Cora looked at the window desperate not to make eye contact. Greyson grabbed Liam and started fussing over him.”Ah. I see, and you all 3 have discussed it.”
“No, not exactly like that. Dad had a scare 2 years ago and he was faced with being put in a home for awhile. We didn’t know how he was going to pay for it, we talked about selling his house and that was sort of how it came up, renting instead of selling I mean.” Greyson muttered.
“Not to keep it until he died so the money or the house went to us, but to protect him. We naturally discussed you as well and different scenarios. Then when we started to really worry Daniel was going to kill you, we were worried about him taking possession of the house and everything in it.” Cora explained a little more. “Obviously all THREE of us want you to do what makes you feel the happiest and safest.”
Audrey stared at the wall.
“I have a lot of happy memories here of all 3 of you. I brought you all home from the hospital through that door. I nursed you all back to health when you were sick and sang you lullabies in this room. I listened to you talk about your days in the kitchen, and when your dad moved out we all sat in my room with the big TV and watched movies all day because he wasn’t here to tell us it was wrong. I potty trained you all in the bathrooms here. I taught you to walk and speak here.” Lauren wiped at her eyes remembering them running through. “But over there in that corner was where your dad smacked me because I told Cora she could wear lipstick. And I was standing on the stairs when he came out of the bedroom with his suitcase in hand, telling me he was leaving. It was in the kitchen where I got the call that my mother died. That was the door frame Daniel's son leaned against as he held me up while Daniel pummeled my midsection until I decided that I didn’t want him to move out after all. I just want to start over. I’m allowed to do that. I gave my entire life to raise you guys and no one worked harder than me to keep us afloat. My time is now and I’m taking it. “

Hello everyone, sorry for the provocative title. RDR2 is by no means a shitty game, but it has so many glaring issues to the point that I really don’t understand the rave reviews. I had much more pleasure playing RDR1. So, I’d like to not just complain but be constructive by pointing out what Rockstar should do regarding the sequel.

Realism

There is some schizophrenia in RDR2 regarding realism. I had to check on the internet many times if I was missing something.
An animal carcass carried on your horse will decay BUT any raw meat you keep in your satchel will last perpetually.
You have to click twice for firing with a single action revolver BUT you didn’t have to if you were dual-wielding. And why cock the hammer and pull the trigger with the same button ? This is completely unintuitive.
You can carry more ammo by getting ammo pouches, BUT you still keep the increased capacity if you unequip the pouches.
There is a long animation to loot a body, BUT ammos are magically teleported in your inventory when you walk on it. And no animation if you change your outfit.
Baits don't make animals magically appear out of nowhere like in RDR1. But if an animal is nearby, why bother with baits ? Maybe you should be able to set up traps.
I was robbed in Saint Denis, I tried a warning shot to stop the thief and I got my ass wanted instead.
Your horse is blind, it shouldn't collide onto trees that much.
The wanted system is completely f***** up. In a game that allows you to wear masks and many disguises, you’re completely unable to hide your identity. Lawmen now have gps and will pinpoint you extremely quickly each time you try to rob a train.
Realism feels too much like a beta testing at times. Rockstar should have made things more intuitive and coherent. Make some "realistic" features optionnal in the settings. Maybe put some tutorial prompts that prevent you from making a mistake the first time.

Graphics

Graphics RDR2 are almost perfect, except maybe some rock textures that aren’t very good. RDR2 is a really beautiful game.

Music

Excellent. The sound effects are very well done.

Story

Very good, but linear Seems more fitted for a movie or a tv show than to an open world game.

Weapons

I find silly that some guns don’t have their real-life name and have some differences. The Lancaster is obviously a Winchester modified with an octagonal barrel.
Regarding customization, the game doesn’t allow you to fully replicate guns with basic finishes that are still sold nowadays. There is no hardened steel finish, and that’s a huge oversight. Some components are missing, the cattleman (colt 1873) frame should have been split into three : the frame, the trigger guard and the backstrap.
Ammos don’t make sense in this game. First keep their real name. Instead of ludicrously having a bunch of ammos types for the same gun, you should have several ammos types for the same kind of gun. You should have revolvers with different calibers. For the same gun , there should be no more than regular ammo, explosive rounds and maybe hollow point. Why not a regular and a special ammo for each gun, that would make each gun more unique.

PC port

Keybinding if you play with keyboard and mouse is infuriating. You can bind each individual action to a button, but you have no idea which actions can be stacked on the same button. Why not have an easy set up prompt, where you choose the equivalent of each controller button : mouse left click for right trigger, mouse right click for left trigger etc. This would have made things so much easier.
And add auto aim with mouse, but only at the moment you draw the gun from your holster. Controller users are quicker to react when they are ambushed.

Inventory management

Why can’t I have more than five cans of apricots while I still can have both 5 cans of apricots and 5 cans of corned beef ? Why can’t I be a vegan cowboy ?
Jokes aside, the inventory amount system is silly and not realistic. Item amount should be limited by weight and/or encumbrance. Some items types shouldn’t be mandatory, and players should make choices about what to keep and what to leave. Don’t force player to eat all the time and instead make items optional and useful.
Bring back the health system from RDR1. Food don’t heal you in real life, food prevent you from dying of hunger. Some tonics in RDR2 are even more powerful than some potions in The Witcher 3.
Allow fast travel on horse from anywhere peaceful at the cost of eating something.
You should keep cigars in you damn mouth instead of throwing them up just after lighting. Tobacco and tonics should work as a buff for a few minutes.
You should be able to loot guns from enemies to sell them.

Gameplay loop

The main gameplay loop hasn’t really changed since GTA 3.
While the story is great, it is fitting to a more linear game. There’s plenty of things you can do between missions that will completely contradict the plot. Missions in this kind of open world should be more open-ended, leaving more room for the player to be creative.
This game need more side content. The open world is too empty, I'm not talking about the technical aspect or the rich details, its gameplay value is too low. The world is probably too big, the inclusion of New Austin is barely justified.
There should be a karma meter and a reputation meter. And both should impact the gameplay and the plot in a clever way. Why are some outfits locked behind honor requirement ? What’s the point of robbing if you can’t just buy everything ?
Also, the game is very tedious for the sake of it :

• Setting up camp to enable fast travel doesn’t make sense, in order to go you have to stop ?!
• When sleeping, there should be an option to auto clean the guns and maybe auto craft.
• Regarding shaving and hair trimming, you should use the shaving kit not just to tediously shave each day. You should have an option to set a targeted beard and haircut length, with auto trimming while sleeping.
• Briefly push the button to insta-loot, hold the button if you want visual realism.
• And please, no more gated challenges.

In conclusion, I’d say RDR2 is not a realistic game, there are some realistic aspects while still having some very video-gamey features at the cost of arbitrary tediousness.
This tediousness is often there on purpose because the game designers don't want you to play a certain way. They don't want you to get easy money, they don't want you to fast travel, they don't want you to miss the little details. But what about freedom ? What about enjoyment ?
RDR2 doesn’t know what it wants to be. A linear narrative game or an open world ? A realistic survival game ? A simulation ? A role-playing game ? The game design feels disjointed at best.
Rockstar focused too much on details and new features while neglecting the cohesion of the bigger picture. I don’t want to play just another cowboy GTA 3 with outstanding graphics, horses that shit and coffee brewing.
Rockstar wanted to make the greatest open world of yesterday whereas they should have made the open world of tomorrow. They should have left their comfort zone instead of making an ego trip game.

Seen a few people post their 100k milestone so thought Id share mine. Gonna be a long story sorry lads but will try to share as much of my journey as possible
23 male living in Leicestershire
Short story: worked take away from 15 to 18 at max £4.50 and hour, did deliveroo from 18 to 21/22ish on a bike and then started a business, as of today net worth of around £138k
Long story:
Moved to uk 11th june 2016
3 days later my mom walked me on an adjacent road to where we live and asked takeaways if they needed workers. One of them said yes and literally took me in right away. I was 15 at the time but still remember the odour of oil and grease with in. Having moved from a country where take away is not anywhere as big as in the UK, that hit pretty hard. 2 weeks later the manager, which paid the staff on a sunday night, pulled out a £20 note from his jeans back pocket and handed it to me, first money I had ever made in UK. From june 2016 to September 2016 (ehich is when I started college) I worked there 10/11h a day every day, 11am to 11pm with a 1 or 2h break in between depending on how busy it was. Was getting paid £2 an hour at the start and slowly creeped up to £4.50 an hour by summer 2018 which is when I quit. To get to 4.50 an hour I had to quit a few times but they didn't want to let me go so would show up to my house begging me to come back offering a little pay rise. Went from 2 to like 3 to 3.50 ecc. Also I used to open on most weekends ecc, basically a valuable staff member, not the manager but pretty much a manager role. I admit this was cash in hand and I admit the although I made money, I could have done better, but I was young and new to the country and didn't know any better
I didn't have a bank account until late 2017/ early 2018, everything I made went to my parents (my dad really, my mom didn't have much of a say in the house, dad was abusive). At this point I used to ride to college as bus was pricey and it literally took longer on the bus than on the bike. Around September 2017 I seen a beautiful shiny yellow voodoo bizango 2017 mountain bike locked in town next to my piece of scrap of a bike, I kinda fell in love with it, took a photo, went home and researched it, it was £500 new. Asked my mom if I could buy it she said ask dad, asked my dad and he basically said if I ask again he'd beat me up. I gave him everything I made up until then and he refused to let me buy a £500 bike, I admit that was a lot of money for us back then but back then I spent less than £20 a week and made over £200 a week at this point but wasn't allowed to get a 500 bike. I of course decided to open my own bank account and picked up extra hours for a few weeks so that I could still pay my parents but could save up something on the side, few weeks later got myself that voodoo bizango for £450 (got 10% off through uk cycling membership that cost me £26 so essential paid 476 on the bike, saving me £24 overall). Also the takeaway job was cash in hand all through
Summer 2018 applied for uber eat delivery to work on a push bike, I hadn't quit the take away job yet as wasn't sure how uber eats was gonna be but few weeks later quit the take away and did uber eats "full time". I was still in college until summer 2020 but was making good money on deliveroo, like £300/400 a week
Got my licence in November 2018 which I paid for myself that probably cost mr about £1200
Summer 2019 uber eats closed my account for some reason and I applied for deliveroo instead.
Got a £700 car in November 2019, I paid in full, I didn't like having money coming out of my account every month so paid for insurance in full £1800 but I had to borrow £1000 from a friend to do this. Basically November 2019 I was in £1000 debt to a friend.
Net worth November 2019= -£1000
Anyway ere I set myself a goal of making £1000 a week every week on deliveroo, which I managed to achieve, managed to keep this up for 6 weeks, most I managed to do in a week was £1051.
I guess start of 2020 my net worth was about £2000, after paying back my friend and frickin fuel and road tax and this and that, car was a money pit and I loved driving so🤷‍♂️ ahah
Car went kaput in march 2020 (clutch failed) so thats a loss and got £1400 back from insurance, that had gone in moms bank account as I had paid from her bank account for some reason and never seen that money again, mom kept it. To befair glad it went kaput, was a money pit, haven't had a car since and probably saved me loads of money. I just cycle everywhere.
I also mention, alongside all this, I tried several other ways of making money. As soon as I turned 18 I tried forex trading, no good, lost around £1700 in total which I made back all in once thanks to stacking short on gold on a £20 balance, got up to 3.5k in the trading account, and then started coming back down and I told myself as soon as it hits 1.7k I am closing everything and never looking back, it hit 1.7k balance and I closed all trades, withdrew my money and never traded after that. Was a loooong and painful lesson tho, lots of stress ecc. I have learned a lot and met a great friend online, charlie, we still friends 4+ years later. That friend thought me about matched betting which I did and made about £700 in sign up offers and then didn't persue the reload offers but my friend been since doing this full time and been doing it for others. After I done my sign up offers he asked me to borrow my betting accounts (yes its not really legal for someone to use your betting accounts) and hes been paying me 50% of his profits using my accounts since. That has been consistently between £50 and £110 a month every month. To put that in prospective, other than rent I dont spent more than £80 a month I will explain this better further down.
No college after May 2020, I did electronics level 3 in college that I barely got through, thanks to covid, they took my previous marks and gave me a qualification based on them but was otherwise welllll behind on my assignments, if covid didn't hit I would have probably failed lol. From now on just did deliveroo full time. About 10h a day every day.
*June 2020 net worth £5000, I dont remember it but I had messaged my online friend Charlie saying I had hit 5k sum"
Loads of deliveroo, here I was using my own deliveroo account, my own just eat account and a deliveroo account I had opened for my sister all 3 simultaneously so I was busy all the time and I had a diy fast ebike so wasn't getting late either.
ended 2020 net worth £20k, again messaged Charlie about it thats how I know otherwise wouldn't remember
Used the money I had made to start importing things from china and reselling.
Untimately setup a company in march 2022. It consists in importing mainly electronics from china and reselling or assembling and reselling on ebay, my own website and facebook marketplace. Its a niche products and I am now quite known in facebook groups of that niche both nationally and globally so a lot of my sales are through word of mouth. Have not spent a penny advertising and I have some other smaller UK sellers that buy from me and resell themselves.
Didn't do deliveroo anymore but had 3 accounts which I rented out (not illegal but somewhat against ruled of the delivery platforms, deliveroo didn't care to be fair, just eat did). Rented for 40 each a week so thats £120 a week across the 3 accounts so thats around £500 months. Plus what Charlie was paying me a months £60 to £110 about £550 a month passive income here. My sister had uni and student loan ecc so she didn't want me to use her deliveroo accoun anymore so by September 2022 so now delivery account rent went from 120 a week to 80 a week. Jeat died around start of 2023, wasn't busy anymore so no one wanted to rent account so now only had my own deliveroo account for rent for 40 a week, thats still 160 a month cant complain so including what Charlie pays me thays aroun 200 passive income since start of 2023.
Its summer 2023 and I had around 70/80k in my bank and only now I opened a savings account at 4%. Such a fool, could have made so much money thanks to interests in all these years. One of my biggest mistakes for sure lol
*Overall lost track of net worth but today I have £118473 in savings account. About half in a 4% easy access, other half at 5.08% in a triple access and thats making me about £14 in interest a day (4% pays interest daily, 5.08% pays monthly). Around £5000 in current accounts (bank account just not a savings one). Will be paying myself around £15k in dividents after tax from my company to add to a house deposit
Total net worth as of today around 138k
Also I have been too generous to people and now I am owed around £4500 between 12 "friends"
Few more points. -I only had a car for a few months otherwise just cycle everywhere -I work from home -I rarely buy clothes (somewhat because I dont care and somewhat because I dont like going shopping, like I could go to buy some clothes but go to the store and hate being there and having to choose clothes so just walk out with either the first thing I see or with nothing) and if I do buy clothes they ll be really really cheap. -I rarey eat out, I just make myself sandwiches every day lol. I also collect free food from th app Olio and been doing so for over a year, saves loads of money, get to eat nice tasting food sometimes and saves the planet I guess. -I do live with my mom, dad moved out few years ago, I currently pay £500 to my mom every month for rent and bills. Our rent is currently £900. Other than that I cover wifi and thats it (and my own phone bill) up until last summer ish I paid my mom £400 a month -most of my hobbies are free, hiking, volleyball, football, cycling, exploring abandoned places, calisthenics (got the rings at home, would like an actual pull up bar and other equipment but no space), only paid hobby is airsoft currently and I guess fuel split 3/4 ways when we go hiking but thats really cheap. -I have never smoked or drinked. I hate pubs and clubs and crowded places. -I have never been in a relationship. Up until I was 19 I wanted a gf but I am really picky, dont want a relationship just for the fun of it, had opportunities and although they were pretty, they just were not my type. After that I just didn't really have time, I have never actively looked for a gf like going out all dressed up ecc and now I am more of a "I hope the first women I get with, I eventually get married to and live happily forever after" sort of thing, I am patient and will only settle for the right women really, dont want to hop from one relationship to another at all so wont rush anything. -I have worked pretty much every day since 20yo (2020) Even on a day where I go on day trip with friends ecc I still come home and work for the rest of the day. Max I have taken off is 3 days for a hiking trip in summer 2023. -I am pretty handy, I like to fix things, I would rather spend money on buying a tool than pay someone to do it for me. Only jobs I would not touch are plumbing, gas snd home electrics (I mean like mains ecc, if an appliance breaks I will still try to open it and see if I can spot something broken or loose to fix myself). Everything else I give it a go myself. -I get cheap haircuts pay about £6 currently. I tried more expensive places (up to £18) and honestly noticed no difference. - no netflix, amazon prime ecc. Only had netflix for a couple of months but found out that I was spending too much time on it.
MISTAKES I HAVE MADE
-lending money to people, never again, sorry. I will no trust anyone again, only person I am okay with lending money to is Charlie as we have lended each other up to 10k, he's lended me it when I was starting my business and I have lended that to him during an event called Cheltenham to ude as bank roll for his matched betting. Never met the lad and lives 180 miles from me but trust him more than anyone else, of course outside my own family (mom). -forex trading, not because of the potential money loss, but because of the stress that comes from it -not opening a savings account early on. Definitely missed out on several thousands becaue of this. - this is an ongoing mistake, I have taken my business seriously but for some reason I have not yet managed to rent a unit and move my business outside my home, which would be beneficial as more space= more stock and wider range of products= more profitable. Currently I run out of stock of a certain product often. Also if I move my business to an actual unit I could hire someone. I dont know, unfortunately not had any support along the way nor from friends (I have lost all the friends I had before I started my business, even tho the 2 closes friends I tried to get involved so we could make money together, would have loved to be working with a close friend) nor from family (only go my mom and she hasn't got a clue, doesn't even speak english) so just been on my own and for the most part still am. -I am definitely not tax efficient. Been paying myself a high salary (mainly to have a higher deposit for a house) and infact been declaring less expenses so that I could afford to borrow more mortgage wise. This is I guess a mistake my choice but still a mistake.
I love learning, thanks to being self employed I have given myself time to learn new skills. I have learned cad, 3d printing (got a 3d printer), lathework (got a lathe in the shed), rc related stuff (made my own rc 6 channel plane, main body made out of pizza cardboard boxes lol). Next up is welding and woodworking, these will hage to wait until I move place.
Curren plan:
I have run my business from home and by myself until now. We are renting a 3 bed house and honestly most of it is filled with my work stuff. The plan at this point is to get a bigger place, I am looking at buying a property with ideally a double garage an a big garden, cant get both for my budget so going for big garden, I will buy 1 or 2 shipping containers and put them in th garden and use them as stoage facilities rather than using the bedroom (they are about £1500 each and, as the other option is to rent a self storage facility or a unit, the containers will definitely pay themselves off in a fairly short amount of time (under 18 months, maybe even under 12 months). I dont like having money coming out of my bank every month and dont like debt and mortgage is exactly that, I will he paying off the property in under 5 years and then think ahout extending and renovating properly. Also want to move my business completely online and soon after make it into a dropshipping business as its a niche and I am well known, this IS feasible. I would not deal with physical product myself, just with the customers service side. And will start social media accounts to promote my own products.
TIPS FOR OTHERS
I may be only 23 but believe I have learned a lot but still have far more to learn so tip number 1 is 1) LEARN LEARN LEARN. The more you know the more flexible you can be. If my business goes burst today for whatever reason, I can start something new tomorrow becaude my knowledge and skills stretch well beyond my business main role 2) the more you work, the less time you hage to spend money. It sounds stupid as I am basically telling you to not live your life but Id rather be 30 and not worried about my rent and bills an actually have a life than be living paycheck to paycheck. Plus I am doing something I like doing (okay dont exactly love it, mostly because I have no space, but I will once I move, but I am nowhere near disliking it). I go to sleep with no alarm, can take a few hours off whenever I want (for example when we pay volleyball its usually a short notice and I can just go without having to ask anyone) listen to music whenever and honestly most of the time dont feel like I am working at all. 3) dont get a car unless you really need it, probably biggest unnecessary expense out there. 4) you dont need expensive clothes, clothes are clothes 5) eating out is expensive, you can cook nice tasting food at home and it ll cost you a fraction of what you pay at restaurants. 6) shop in cheaper supermarkets, aldi is my favourite, followed by lidl. 7) PUT WHATEVER SAVINGS YOU HAVE IN A SAVINGS ACCOUNT. I kept everything I had up until I had like 70k in a normal bank account, so stupid, no clue how I didn't realise that I could have made so much money from interests 8) the purpose is to be and feel rich, not to look rich (at least for me) 9) this one is pretty important too, a lot of people move out of home as a CHOICE! If you have the option to stay at home and save up, DO IT!! At least until you have figured things out. I could move to a nice house on my own and this and that but I know for a fact that I wont be able to save anywhere near as much as I am saving now
Overall hoping to him 1M net worth by 30

On the third Saturday of every month, Mary-Ann, a single mother navigating life post-divorce, embraced a routine that carved out quality time with her 11-year-old son, Gary. The day's weather, while slightly overcast, spared them from the oppressive summer heat, providing a welcome respite following the recent thunderstorms. Mary-Ann hopped into her black SUV, picked up Gary from his father’s place, and drove to their familiar spot: a cozy pastry shop within the bustling mall. En route to the shop, Gary enjoyed playing with his mom's smartphone.
Meanwhile, Bill, a grandfather, had his bi-weekly schedule to visit his five grandchildren, and today was the day. Excited about seeing them, he hopped into his favorite white Slingshot SL motorcycle, a sporty two-seater 3-wheeler. The cloud hung overhead, but it was less humid. Bill, optimistic and feeling great, thought about the gifts he'd bought—from chocolate bars to lollipops to action figures to barbie dolls. He imagined his grandchildren eagerly gathering around him, eyes and mouths wide open as they grabbed and unwrapped their gifts. As he hit the road before noon, he couldn't help but wish for more money. The idea of selling his motorcycle for $15,000 crossed his mind. This could fund a special trip to Disney World in California for his entire family: a trip he had always wanted. Lost in thought, Bill's mind drifted away, oblivious to the imminent presence of the SUV's grille directly in his path.
Mary-Ann paced the emergency department waiting room. She regretted overreacting to the sound, while lost in thought about the mall and all the potential gossips she was going to hear about her ex-husband's love affairs from his naive son. Now, with the man in the operating room possibly facing death, she feared the worst—would she be charged with murder? If only Gary had listened, refraining from playing that stupid fireworks game on her phone.
In the waiting room, Gary sat hunched over, chin nearly touching his chest. He regretted not heeding his father's advice before stepping into his mother’s car.
"Don't use your mom's phone to play games while she's driving. Especially games that sound like fireworks." Advice too late to heed now.
Gary remembered a similar incident from when he was five years old. It was on July 4th at the city’s largest park. After an amazing fireworks display, he and his father had returned home. Excited, he rushed inside the house to tell his mother about the fireworks and the parade. However, upon entering inside, he found the house in total darkness. Calling out for his mother yielded no response. Then, his father tapped his shoulder. "Check our closet."
He hurried into his parents’ closet, finding it in total darkness as well. Switching on the light, he discovered his mother lying flat on the floor with a pillow over her head.
"Mom! Mom! Are you okay? Are you sick? What happened to you?"
Right behind, his father tapped his shoulders again and whispered. "She's afraid of fireworks because it reminds her of gunshots back in Africa."
Gary lamented. If only he hadn't clicked on the fireworks game. They would have been at the mall, enjoying his favorites — slices of caramel pecan silk supreme pie and chocolate mousse cake, and ice cream with mini Oreos topping.
"Hey, buddy. How are you holding up?”
Two uniformed officers appeared before Gary.
Gary looked up and immediately recognized the short and muscular red-haired officer, identifying him as the first responder who was first to arrive at the scene and radio for the ambulance.
“I'm Officer Michael, and my partner here is Jack.”
“What's your name, little man?” A fat and taller officer shot out his pudgy hand at Gary.
“My name is Gary sir,” Gary stuttered, taking a hold of Officer Jack’s chunky sweaty palm and barely able to shake it.
"You did a great job on that man,” Officer Michael said. “If you hadn't performed CPR and tilted his chin upward, something terrible might have happened for sure. You saved his life, young man. Where did you learn to do that?”
"Sixth-grade health class," Gary replied in a low undertone. "I couldn't do mouth-to-mouth breathing because I didn't have a mask."
“Well, what you did was excellent,” Officer Jack remarked.
“Will he be okay?” Gary asked.
“The old man?”
Gary nodded.
Officer Jack sighed, wiping his forehead. "We don't know yet, still waiting to hear from the doctor."
Mary-Ann noticed two officers talking to her son and walked over, hoping to interrupt and possibly take her mind off the gunshots. She felt remorse for her past fear leading to this predicament, recalling an incident from Africa two decades ago.
"So what happened to the old man on the sidewalk?" Officer Michael asked Gary.
“I don’t know,” Gary said. “I remember seeing my mom spinning the steering wheel like out of control and then I felt a big bang before the car stopped…Mom screamed and put her head on the steering wheel. I looked in front and saw an old man lying on the sidewalk.”
Gary found himself biting his nails, the rhythmic tap offering a subtle distraction. Beside him, his mom and her hollow breaths, audible with each response to the officer’s questions, only heightened the tension. Standing there, he momentarily forgot the usual anticipation of her disapproval—a quick, sharp slap on his hand when caught nibbling. Regardless, he sensed she was in no mood to react, resembling the deer frozen in front of their headlights that they almost hit one time on a road trip to Grandma’s in Chicago.
“Is that all?” Officer Michael asked.
Gary hesitated, now wrestling with the vivid images flashing through his mind. The accident played on a loop — the old man lying motionless on the sidewalk. That reality was stark and real, far different from the countless dead bodies he had seen in movies.
And then there was his mom's incessant trembling and piercing screams echoing, before and after the crash. He had never in his life seen anything like that from her. It was like she was a different person, a person he decided early on not to reveal to the police officers. He regretted not heeding his father’s advice and playing that stupid game.
“Is that all?” Officer Michael repeated, his gaze fixating on the 11 year old boy’s furrowed brow.
Gary gulped, accidentally swallowing the nail fragments he had chewed off. With his voice a mere whisper, “I don't remember much else. Everything happened so fast. It was like —”
Officer Jack placed a reassuring hand on Gary's shoulder. "It's alright buddy. You’re not in any trouble. We just need to understand what happened."
Mary-Ann stood by her son’s side, feeling a mixture of anxiety, guilt and anger. Anger mostly.
“Where are the rebels coming from, behind us or in front of us!” she remembered yelling at her startled son upon hearing the sound of fireworks from the phone.
“That’s the sound of an M16; the rebels have captured this area! Woa Yo!” Mary-Ann’s voice raged.
“What rebels, Mom?” Gary asked, tears welling in his eyes. “There’s no one here.”
“They block the street, so we won’t be able to get out of here! Over my old Pa’s dead body!”
Mary-Ann pressed her foot harder on the pedal, accelerating the SUV 30 miles per hour over the 65 posted speed limit.
“Mom!” Gary called out in plea to his mother but her eyes did not look at him.
Like a bull zeroing in on its target, Mary-Ann focused on the nearing barricade. One way or another, she was going to break through, for her son’s sake. She was not going to allow any rebels to take him. If death was the outcome, then it would be a much better alternative.
“Hold tight Gary!” she shrieked.
“Mommy, stop please!”
Gary's cries escalated into full-on wailing. Mary-Ann, unfazed, continued driving, her eyes fixed on the road ahead.
As she barreled towards her target, a sudden sun ray shot across the windshield, catching her off guard. With little time to react, she lifted her hand in a feeble attempt to shield her face.
In that fleeting moment, straining to see through the glaring light, Mary-Ann caught sight of a white metallic object hurtling towards her.
“Shit!” she exclaimed, her grip tightening on the steering wheel. With a surge of adrenaline, she turned it with all her strength, desperately trying to veer away from the impending collision.
"Ma'am, can you tell us what happened leading up to the accident?"
“Ma’am?”
“Ma’am?”
“Huh,” Mary-Ann said. “Who said that?”
Officer Michael waved his hand in front of Mary-Ann. “Ma’am, are you alright? I kind of lost you there for a minute.”
“Where’s my son!” Mary-Ann looked around frantically.
“He’s fine,” Officer Michael said, letting out a chuckle before pointing his finger in the direction of the hospital’s vending machines.
There Gary was eating a large cookie and engrossed in a stack of cards held by Officer Jack.
“This one right here is my favorite baseball player,” Officer Jack could be overheard saying.
She looked at her son and could not help but feel proud. He was growing and looking more and more like his 6'3" father. Most importantly, he was maturing and becoming a MAN. The accident was proof of this. If it was not for him, she was sure she would have been in much more trouble, maybe even in handcuffs. No…likely in handcuffs. She wished she could turn back time.
“Oh God,” Mary-Ann groaned, her forehead resting on the steering wheel.
Gary unclasped his seatbelt and leaned forward, peering beyond their SUV's cracked windshield and dented hood. He could make out what appeared to be a white car, completely mangled at the front. It was not an ordinary car though. It had three wheels, reminiscent of that tricycle car he saw once in a commercial.
Gary called out to his mother, who was now rubbing her head on the steering wheel. “Mom. Mom. You okay?” His eyes scanned past his mother and stopped on a figure lying face up on the sidewalk.
Mary-Ann lifted her head slowly from the steering wheel, awakened by the creak of the car door. She glanced at the empty front seat, noticing the ajar door.
Wrapping both hands around her mouth, Mary-Ann’s thoughts raced. “God, what did I do?”
Before panic could settle in, she began to hear that familiar and innocent squeaky voice. She turned to her left side and saw her son kneeling down. He was talking to a man, lying still on the sidewalk.
Wide-eyed, Mary-Ann flung her door open and ran towards her son
"Gary, we need to go! We can't stay here!" she pleaded.
But Gary remained resolute, his focus on the unconscious man. "I can't just leave him, Mom. He needs help."
"Gary!" Mary-Ann screamed, extending a bruised arm, fingers rattling. She looked in the direction where they were heading and saw nothing. Not a car in sight, pedestrian, barricade or rebels for that matter.
“We can’t stay,” Mary-Ann continued her plea. “Please son get in the — ”
“I can't Mom,” Gary said, meeting her gaze. Streams of tears marked his face. “I have to do something.”
Turning back to the man, Gary placed the heel of his hand on the center of the chest and pressed down firmly, allowing the chest to recoil between compressions. He counted each compression in his mind, just as he did on the manikin in health class.
“Mom, call 911!” Gary’s voice quivered with urgency.
Mary-Ann stood still, her gaze shifting between her son and the unconscious man.
Gary continued the compressions, pausing once to tilt the man's head back slightly before resuming. His hands moving with determined purpose.
Tears blurred Mary-Ann's vision as she watched her son's hands methodically pressing down on the stranger's chest. Each compression tightened the knot in her throat. Helplessness gripped her heart, but beneath it, a surge of pride welled up.
She failed to notice the arrival of the police cruiser behind until a short red-haired officer rushed past, urgently radioing for an ambulance.
Gary, his face streaked with tears, looked up at the officer with desperation and relief. The man remained unresponsive despite his efforts.
The officer swiftly took over, instructing Gary to move back, while distant sirens heralded the coming arrival of the ambulance.
“Ms. Brown.” “Ms. Brown.”
The voice of Officer Michael jolted Mary-Ann. The sound of her married name still unsettled her. She had opted to keep it. “Brown” was much easier on the American tongue than her African maiden name. Plus, it opened a lot more doors to employment and career progression, as had advised by a successful lawyer relative in DC.
“Sorry Mr. Officer,” Mary-Ann said, wiping her face with both hands.
"We appreciate both you and your son staying put after getting discharged. Thankfully, he's alright, and your injury is minor." Officer Michael pointed to Mary-Ann’s bandaged arm.
Mary-Ann looked at her bandaged right arm. True, she and Gary were lucky to be alive, more so Gary for not having a single scratch. She did not know how she could have forgiven herself if something was to happen to him. A swollen arm is a far better price to pay.
“Ms. Brown,” Officer Michael persisted. “We just need to understand what transpired today. Can you walk me through the events?”
Mary-Ann gulped and hesitated. It was a quarter past 6 pm and hunger was starting to gnaw at her. The image of making Gary's favorite dinner, lasagna with lots of cheese, flashed in her mind. She and Gary would have stuffed their bellies by now and topped it off with butter pecan ice cream on the couch and his kiddy movie. Would have if she had not overreacted.
“Ms. Brown?”
Mary-Ann took a deep breath, trying to calm her nerves. “Well, Officer, we were driv—”
“Officer.”
A doctor had appeared. He had several bag lines underneath his eyes and a couple of brown stains on his supposed white coat. “Officer, may I have a word with you?”
“Can you sit tight for a few?” Officer Michael said, pointing to one of the waiting room chairs.
Mary-Ann nodded and did as she was told. She was then joined by Gary, who hugged her non-injured shoulder.
Officer Michael, now accompanied by a wheezing Officer Jack, who had hurried back from the vending machines, redirected his focus to the haggard looking doctor.
“How is he doc?” Officer Michael inquired.
“He’s stable,” the doctor said. “But we are going to keep him overnight for observation.”
“Stable as in?”
The doctor flipped open a brown clipboard he was carrying and started to read from it. “The X-ray result shows no major issue. He has a couple of bruises on his back but nothing serio—”
“Wow, really?” Officer Jack interjected, scratching his blonde buzz haircut. “Tough SOB.”
The doctor continued, slightly annoyed, "As I said, nothing serious, except he complained of pain in both legs. Hence, we want to prescribe him some heavy painkillers and keep him overnight for observation."
“Can we see him to ask him a couple of questions?” Officer Michael asked.
“By all means,” the doctor said, not looking from his clipboard.
“Officers!” the doctor shouted, just as Officers Michael and Jack were enroute to the last room in the dimly lit hallway.
“Yeeess,” said Officer Michael, turning around.
The doctor pointed to a standard white dial clock above the nurses’ front help desk. “Be aware that I want to give the painkillers to Mr. Ferguson very soon, no later than 30 minutes from now.”
“We will do our best,” Officer Jack said, saluting.
“30 minutes TOPS.”
“Mr. Ferguson, are you feeling okay?” Officer Michael asked, checking the time on the EKG machine. Ten minutes had elapsed, and their attempts with the bald, freckled-faced old man proved fruitless. Like the woman before, the old man remained unresponsive, staring into space until either he or Officer Jack nudged him back to reality.
“Mr. Ferguson?” Officer Michael asked again, massaging his forehead.
“Please call me Bill,” Bill said. “I don’t like ‘Mister this’ or ‘Mister that.’ Everybody calls me ‘Bill’.”
“Okay, Bill.” “Can you—”
"Can you tell us what happened today that got you to the emergency room?" Officer Jack said with a brisk and demanding tone.
“Well, I was in an accident,” Bill said.
“Can you be more—”
Officer Michael patted Officer Jack on the shoulder, who then got up and walked out of the hospital room.
As he walked past Officer Michael, a muffled “asshole” escaped his breath.
Bill grinned. “Your partner is a real peach, ain’t he.”
“My apologies, it’s been a long day,” Officer Michael said, eyes darting at the EKG’s time. 15 minutes left before they have to call it quits. “Bill, you said you were in an accident. Let’s go back a bit. What happened leading up to the accident?”
Bill leaned back, tapping his fingers on the hospital bed rail. "Well, I was driving along Sanford Rd, coming from where the mall is. I was taking gifts to my grandkids, which, by the way, I realized I have not called them yet since getting in this predicament. They and my kids must be worried sick!"
Bill attempted to get up, eyeing a wall-mounted phone near the hospital room bathroom.
"Woah, woah, Bill," Officer Michael intervened, hands in front of the anxious old man. "Take it easy. Take it easy. We can call your family as soon as we finish. It won’t be long, I promise."
Officer Michael stole a quick glance at the EKG machine. “Damnit!” Neither him nor Officer Jack wanted to continue this investigation into the next day. Certainly, not on their day off. Additionally, they still had to interview the woman, and such a feat wouldn’t be straightforward, based on initial interactions.
Bill reclined back and took a deep breath. “Okay, but I have to call them afterwards. ASAP.”
“Don’t worry, I will personally make sure of it. Let’s circle back. You said you were coming from the direction of the mall. Did you see any vehicles around you?”
Bill shook his head. "Nope. Just me and the open road. I didn't see that SUV coming at all."
Officer Michael exchanged glances with a red faced Officer Jack, who had re-entered the room.
“Okay, let’s talk about the accident then. What can you tell us about it?”
“Well, I’m not really sure exactly, but all I remembered was being hit and the next thing I knew I was in the air looking at the clouds before I blacked out.”
“Did you notice anything unusual before the collision or before ‘being hit’?”
Bill scratched his head, his freckled face furrowed in concentration. "Honestly, Officers, it's all a blur. I can't remember anything specific."
Officer Jack muttered something under his breath, causing both Officer Michael and Bill to crack a smile.
"Your partner seems a bit on edge, Officer," Bill said.
Officer Michael waved his right hand in dismissal. “Let get back.”
“Look Officer, all I know is that I was driving and the double yellow was on my right when I got hit.”
“Double yellow?”
“The double yellow line.”
Officer Michael recalled the Slingshot motorcycle and its crushed bumper facing the SUV when he arrived at the scene: Bill lying unconscious as the 11-year old boy performed CPR on him.
“That SUV was on the wrong side of the road when it hit me,” explained Bill, wagging his index finger in the air. “Whoever was driving it that hit me must have been on towards oncoming traffic. The double yellow was on my right. I remember that for a fact.”
Officers Michael and Jack looked at one another.
Officer Michael drew out a pen and a small notebook from his uniform pocket.
“Let us get this clearly,” he said, clicking the pen. “You are saying that the double yellow line on the road was on your RIGHT side when you got hit?”
“YES. SIR”
/The Accident. By West African writer Josephine Dean./

On the third Saturday of every month, Mary-Ann, a single mother navigating life post-divorce, embraced a routine that carved out quality time with her 11-year-old son, Gary. The day's weather, while slightly overcast, spared them from the oppressive summer heat, providing a welcome respite following the recent thunderstorms. Mary-Ann hopped into her black SUV, picked up Gary from his father’s place, and drove to their familiar spot: a cozy pastry shop within the bustling mall. En route to the shop, Gary enjoyed playing with his mom's smartphone.
Meanwhile, Bill, a grandfather, had his bi-weekly schedule to visit his five grandchildren, and today was the day. Excited about seeing them, he hopped into his favorite white Slingshot SL motorcycle, a sporty two-seater 3-wheeler. The cloud hung overhead, but it was less humid. Bill, optimistic and feeling great, thought about the gifts he'd bought—from chocolate bars to lollipops to action figures to barbie dolls. He imagined his grandchildren eagerly gathering around him, eyes and mouths wide open as they grabbed and unwrapped their gifts. As he hit the road before noon, he couldn't help but wish for more money. The idea of selling his motorcycle for $15,000 crossed his mind. This could fund a special trip to Disney World in California for his entire family: a trip he had always wanted. Lost in thought, Bill's mind drifted away, oblivious to the imminent presence of the SUV's grille directly in his path.
Mary-Ann paced the emergency department waiting room. She regretted overreacting to the sound, while lost in thought about the mall and all the potential gossips she was going to hear about her ex-husband's love affairs from his naive son. Now, with the man in the operating room possibly facing death, she feared the worst—would she be charged with murder? If only Gary had listened, refraining from playing that stupid fireworks game on her phone.
In the waiting room, Gary sat hunched over, chin nearly touching his chest. He regretted not heeding his father's advice before stepping into his mother’s car.
"Don't use your mom's phone to play games while she's driving. Especially games that sound like fireworks." Advice too late to heed now.
Gary remembered a similar incident from when he was five years old. It was on July 4th at the city’s largest park. After an amazing fireworks display, he and his father had returned home. Excited, he rushed inside the house to tell his mother about the fireworks and the parade. However, upon entering inside, he found the house in total darkness. Calling out for his mother yielded no response. Then, his father tapped his shoulder. "Check our closet."
He hurried into his parents’ closet, finding it in total darkness as well. Switching on the light, he discovered his mother lying flat on the floor with a pillow over her head.
"Mom! Mom! Are you okay? Are you sick? What happened to you?"
Right behind, his father tapped his shoulders again and whispered. "She's afraid of fireworks because it reminds her of gunshots back in Africa."
Gary lamented. If only he hadn't clicked on the fireworks game. They would have been at the mall, enjoying his favorites — slices of caramel pecan silk supreme pie and chocolate mousse cake, and ice cream with mini Oreos topping.
"Hey, buddy. How are you holding up?”
Two uniformed officers appeared before Gary.
Gary looked up and immediately recognized the short and muscular red-haired officer, identifying him as the first responder who was first to arrive at the scene and radio for the ambulance.
“I'm Officer Michael, and my partner here is Jack.”
“What's your name, little man?” A fat and taller officer shot out his pudgy hand at Gary.
“My name is Gary sir,” Gary stuttered, taking a hold of Officer Jack’s chunky sweaty palm and barely able to shake it.
"You did a great job on that man,” Officer Michael said. “If you hadn't performed CPR and tilted his chin upward, something terrible might have happened for sure. You saved his life, young man. Where did you learn to do that?”
"Sixth-grade health class," Gary replied in a low undertone. "I couldn't do mouth-to-mouth breathing because I didn't have a mask."
“Well, what you did was excellent,” Officer Jack remarked.
“Will he be okay?” Gary asked.
“The old man?”
Gary nodded.
Officer Jack sighed, wiping his forehead. "We don't know yet, still waiting to hear from the doctor."
Mary-Ann noticed two officers talking to her son and walked over, hoping to interrupt and possibly take her mind off the gunshots. She felt remorse for her past fear leading to this predicament, recalling an incident from Africa two decades ago.
"So what happened to the old man on the sidewalk?" Officer Michael asked Gary.
“I don’t know,” Gary said. “I remember seeing my mom spinning the steering wheel like out of control and then I felt a big bang before the car stopped…Mom screamed and put her head on the steering wheel. I looked in front and saw an old man lying on the sidewalk.”
Gary found himself biting his nails, the rhythmic tap offering a subtle distraction. Beside him, his mom and her hollow breaths, audible with each response to the officer’s questions, only heightened the tension. Standing there, he momentarily forgot the usual anticipation of her disapproval—a quick, sharp slap on his hand when caught nibbling. Regardless, he sensed she was in no mood to react, resembling the deer frozen in front of their headlights that they almost hit one time on a road trip to Grandma’s in Chicago.
“Is that all?” Officer Michael asked.
Gary hesitated, now wrestling with the vivid images flashing through his mind. The accident played on a loop — the old man lying motionless on the sidewalk. That reality was stark and real, far different from the countless dead bodies he had seen in movies.
And then there was his mom's incessant trembling and piercing screams echoing, before and after the crash. He had never in his life seen anything like that from her. It was like she was a different person, a person he decided early on not to reveal to the police officers. He regretted not heeding his father’s advice and playing that stupid game.
“Is that all?” Officer Michael repeated, his gaze fixating on the 11 year old boy’s furrowed brow.
Gary gulped, accidentally swallowing the nail fragments he had chewed off. With his voice a mere whisper, “I don't remember much else. Everything happened so fast. It was like —”
Officer Jack placed a reassuring hand on Gary's shoulder. "It's alright buddy. You’re not in any trouble. We just need to understand what happened."
Mary-Ann stood by her son’s side, feeling a mixture of anxiety, guilt and anger. Anger mostly.
“Where are the rebels coming from, behind us or in front of us!” she remembered yelling at her startled son upon hearing the sound of fireworks from the phone.
“That’s the sound of an M16; the rebels have captured this area! Woa Yo!” Mary-Ann’s voice raged.
“What rebels, Mom?” Gary asked, tears welling in his eyes. “There’s no one here.”
“They block the street, so we won’t be able to get out of here! Over my old Pa’s dead body!”
Mary-Ann pressed her foot harder on the pedal, accelerating the SUV 30 miles per hour over the 65 posted speed limit.
“Mom!” Gary called out in plea to his mother but her eyes did not look at him.
Like a bull zeroing in on its target, Mary-Ann focused on the nearing barricade. One way or another, she was going to break through, for her son’s sake. She was not going to allow any rebels to take him. If death was the outcome, then it would be a much better alternative.
“Hold tight Gary!” she shrieked.
“Mommy, stop please!”
Gary's cries escalated into full-on wailing. Mary-Ann, unfazed, continued driving, her eyes fixed on the road ahead.
As she barreled towards her target, a sudden sun ray shot across the windshield, catching her off guard. With little time to react, she lifted her hand in a feeble attempt to shield her face.
In that fleeting moment, straining to see through the glaring light, Mary-Ann caught sight of a white metallic object hurtling towards her.
“Shit!” she exclaimed, her grip tightening on the steering wheel. With a surge of adrenaline, she turned it with all her strength, desperately trying to veer away from the impending collision.
"Ma'am, can you tell us what happened leading up to the accident?"
“Ma’am?”
“Ma’am?”
“Huh,” Mary-Ann said. “Who said that?”
Officer Michael waved his hand in front of Mary-Ann. “Ma’am, are you alright? I kind of lost you there for a minute.”
“Where’s my son!” Mary-Ann looked around frantically.
“He’s fine,” Officer Michael said, letting out a chuckle before pointing his finger in the direction of the hospital’s vending machines.
There Gary was eating a large cookie and engrossed in a stack of cards held by Officer Jack.
“This one right here is my favorite baseball player,” Officer Jack could be overheard saying.
She looked at her son and could not help but feel proud. He was growing and looking more and more like his 6'3" father. Most importantly, he was maturing and becoming a MAN. The accident was proof of this. If it was not for him, she was sure she would have been in much more trouble, maybe even in handcuffs. No…likely in handcuffs. She wished she could turn back time.
“Oh God,” Mary-Ann groaned, her forehead resting on the steering wheel.
Gary unclasped his seatbelt and leaned forward, peering beyond their SUV's cracked windshield and dented hood. He could make out what appeared to be a white car, completely mangled at the front. It was not an ordinary car though. It had three wheels, reminiscent of that tricycle car he saw once in a commercial.
Gary called out to his mother, who was now rubbing her head on the steering wheel. “Mom. Mom. You okay?” His eyes scanned past his mother and stopped on a figure lying face up on the sidewalk.
Mary-Ann lifted her head slowly from the steering wheel, awakened by the creak of the car door. She glanced at the empty front seat, noticing the ajar door.
Wrapping both hands around her mouth, Mary-Ann’s thoughts raced. “God, what did I do?”
Before panic could settle in, she began to hear that familiar and innocent squeaky voice. She turned to her left side and saw her son kneeling down. He was talking to a man, lying still on the sidewalk.
Wide-eyed, Mary-Ann flung her door open and ran towards her son
"Gary, we need to go! We can't stay here!" she pleaded.
But Gary remained resolute, his focus on the unconscious man. "I can't just leave him, Mom. He needs help."
"Gary!" Mary-Ann screamed, extending a bruised arm, fingers rattling. She looked in the direction where they were heading and saw nothing. Not a car in sight, pedestrian, barricade or rebels for that matter.
“We can’t stay,” Mary-Ann continued her plea. “Please son get in the — ”
“I can't Mom,” Gary said, meeting her gaze. Streams of tears marked his face. “I have to do something.”
Turning back to the man, Gary placed the heel of his hand on the center of the chest and pressed down firmly, allowing the chest to recoil between compressions. He counted each compression in his mind, just as he did on the manikin in health class.
“Mom, call 911!” Gary’s voice quivered with urgency.
Mary-Ann stood still, her gaze shifting between her son and the unconscious man.
Gary continued the compressions, pausing once to tilt the man's head back slightly before resuming. His hands moving with determined purpose.
Tears blurred Mary-Ann's vision as she watched her son's hands methodically pressing down on the stranger's chest. Each compression tightened the knot in her throat. Helplessness gripped her heart, but beneath it, a surge of pride welled up.
She failed to notice the arrival of the police cruiser behind until a short red-haired officer rushed past, urgently radioing for an ambulance.
Gary, his face streaked with tears, looked up at the officer with desperation and relief. The man remained unresponsive despite his efforts.
The officer swiftly took over, instructing Gary to move back, while distant sirens heralded the coming arrival of the ambulance.
“Ms. Brown.” “Ms. Brown.”
The voice of Officer Michael jolted Mary-Ann. The sound of her married name still unsettled her. She had opted to keep it. “Brown” was much easier on the American tongue than her African maiden name. Plus, it opened a lot more doors to employment and career progression, as had advised by a successful lawyer relative in DC.
“Sorry Mr. Officer,” Mary-Ann said, wiping her face with both hands.
"We appreciate both you and your son staying put after getting discharged. Thankfully, he's alright, and your injury is minor." Officer Michael pointed to Mary-Ann’s bandaged arm.
Mary-Ann looked at her bandaged right arm. True, she and Gary were lucky to be alive, more so Gary for not having a single scratch. She did not know how she could have forgiven herself if something was to happen to him. A swollen arm is a far better price to pay.
“Ms. Brown,” Officer Michael persisted. “We just need to understand what transpired today. Can you walk me through the events?”
Mary-Ann gulped and hesitated. It was a quarter past 6 pm and hunger was starting to gnaw at her. The image of making Gary's favorite dinner, lasagna with lots of cheese, flashed in her mind. She and Gary would have stuffed their bellies by now and topped it off with butter pecan ice cream on the couch and his kiddy movie. Would have if she had not overreacted.
“Ms. Brown?”
Mary-Ann took a deep breath, trying to calm her nerves. “Well, Officer, we were driv—”
“Officer.”
A doctor had appeared. He had several bag lines underneath his eyes and a couple of brown stains on his supposed white coat. “Officer, may I have a word with you?”
“Can you sit tight for a few?” Officer Michael said, pointing to one of the waiting room chairs.
Mary-Ann nodded and did as she was told. She was then joined by Gary, who hugged her non-injured shoulder.
Officer Michael, now accompanied by a wheezing Officer Jack, who had hurried back from the vending machines, redirected his focus to the haggard looking doctor.
“How is he doc?” Officer Michael inquired.
“He’s stable,” the doctor said. “But we are going to keep him overnight for observation.”
“Stable as in?”
The doctor flipped open a brown clipboard he was carrying and started to read from it. “The X-ray result shows no major issue. He has a couple of bruises on his back but nothing serio—”
“Wow, really?” Officer Jack interjected, scratching his blonde buzz haircut. “Tough SOB.”
The doctor continued, slightly annoyed, "As I said, nothing serious, except he complained of pain in both legs. Hence, we want to prescribe him some heavy painkillers and keep him overnight for observation."
“Can we see him to ask him a couple of questions?” Officer Michael asked.
“By all means,” the doctor said, not looking from his clipboard.
“Officers!” the doctor shouted, just as Officers Michael and Jack were enroute to the last room in the dimly lit hallway.
“Yeeess,” said Officer Michael, turning around.
The doctor pointed to a standard white dial clock above the nurses’ front help desk. “Be aware that I want to give the painkillers to Mr. Ferguson very soon, no later than 30 minutes from now.”
“We will do our best,” Officer Jack said, saluting.
“30 minutes TOPS.”
“Mr. Ferguson, are you feeling okay?” Officer Michael asked, checking the time on the EKG machine. Ten minutes had elapsed, and their attempts with the bald, freckled-faced old man proved fruitless. Like the woman before, the old man remained unresponsive, staring into space until either he or Officer Jack nudged him back to reality.
“Mr. Ferguson?” Officer Michael asked again, massaging his forehead.
“Please call me Bill,” Bill said. “I don’t like ‘Mister this’ or ‘Mister that.’ Everybody calls me ‘Bill’.”
“Okay, Bill.” “Can you—”
"Can you tell us what happened today that got you to the emergency room?" Officer Jack said with a brisk and demanding tone.
“Well, I was in an accident,” Bill said.
“Can you be more—”
Officer Michael patted Officer Jack on the shoulder, who then got up and walked out of the hospital room.
As he walked past Officer Michael, a muffled “asshole” escaped his breath.
Bill grinned. “Your partner is a real peach, ain’t he.”
“My apologies, it’s been a long day,” Officer Michael said, eyes darting at the EKG’s time. 15 minutes left before they have to call it quits. “Bill, you said you were in an accident. Let’s go back a bit. What happened leading up to the accident?”
Bill leaned back, tapping his fingers on the hospital bed rail. "Well, I was driving along Sanford Rd, coming from where the mall is. I was taking gifts to my grandkids, which, by the way, I realized I have not called them yet since getting in this predicament. They and my kids must be worried sick!"
Bill attempted to get up, eyeing a wall-mounted phone near the hospital room bathroom.
"Woah, woah, Bill," Officer Michael intervened, hands in front of the anxious old man. "Take it easy. Take it easy. We can call your family as soon as we finish. It won’t be long, I promise."
Officer Michael stole a quick glance at the EKG machine. “Damnit!” Neither him nor Officer Jack wanted to continue this investigation into the next day. Certainly, not on their day off. Additionally, they still had to interview the woman, and such a feat wouldn’t be straightforward, based on initial interactions.
Bill reclined back and took a deep breath. “Okay, but I have to call them afterwards. ASAP.”
“Don’t worry, I will personally make sure of it. Let’s circle back. You said you were coming from the direction of the mall. Did you see any vehicles around you?”
Bill shook his head. "Nope. Just me and the open road. I didn't see that SUV coming at all."
Officer Michael exchanged glances with a red faced Officer Jack, who had re-entered the room.
“Okay, let’s talk about the accident then. What can you tell us about it?”
“Well, I’m not really sure exactly, but all I remembered was being hit and the next thing I knew I was in the air looking at the clouds before I blacked out.”
“Did you notice anything unusual before the collision or before ‘being hit’?”
Bill scratched his head, his freckled face furrowed in concentration. "Honestly, Officers, it's all a blur. I can't remember anything specific."
Officer Jack muttered something under his breath, causing both Officer Michael and Bill to crack a smile.
"Your partner seems a bit on edge, Officer," Bill said.
Officer Michael waved his right hand in dismissal. “Let get back.”
“Look Officer, all I know is that I was driving and the double yellow was on my right when I got hit.”
“Double yellow?”
“The double yellow line.”
Officer Michael recalled the Slingshot motorcycle and its crushed bumper facing the SUV when he arrived at the scene: Bill lying unconscious as the 11-year old boy performed CPR on him.
“That SUV was on the wrong side of the road when it hit me,” explained Bill, wagging his index finger in the air. “Whoever was driving it that hit me must have been on towards oncoming traffic. The double yellow was on my right. I remember that for a fact.”
Officers Michael and Jack looked at one another.
Officer Michael drew out a pen and a small notebook from his uniform pocket.
“Let us get this clearly,” he said, clicking the pen. “You are saying that the double yellow line on the road was on your RIGHT side when you got hit?”
“YES. SIR”
/The Accident. By West African writer Josephine Dean./

On the third Saturday of every month, Mary-Ann, a single mother navigating life post-divorce, embraced a routine that carved out quality time with her 11-year-old son, Gary. The day's weather, while slightly overcast, spared them from the oppressive summer heat, providing a welcome respite following the recent thunderstorms. Mary-Ann hopped into her black SUV, picked up Gary from his father’s place, and drove to their familiar spot: a cozy pastry shop within the bustling mall. En route to the shop, Gary enjoyed playing with his mom's smartphone.
Meanwhile, Bill, a grandfather, had his bi-weekly schedule to visit his five grandchildren, and today was the day. Excited about seeing them, he hopped into his favorite white Slingshot SL motorcycle, a sporty two-seater 3-wheeler. The cloud hung overhead, but it was less humid. Bill, optimistic and feeling great, thought about the gifts he'd bought—from chocolate bars to lollipops to action figures to barbie dolls. He imagined his grandchildren eagerly gathering around him, eyes and mouths wide open as they grabbed and unwrapped their gifts. As he hit the road before noon, he couldn't help but wish for more money. The idea of selling his motorcycle for $15,000 crossed his mind. This could fund a special trip to Disney World in California for his entire family: a trip he had always wanted. Lost in thought, Bill's mind drifted away, oblivious to the imminent presence of the SUV's grille directly in his path.
Mary-Ann paced the emergency department waiting room. She regretted overreacting to the sound, while lost in thought about the mall and all the potential gossips she was going to hear about her ex-husband's love affairs from his naive son. Now, with the man in the operating room possibly facing death, she feared the worst—would she be charged with murder? If only Gary had listened, refraining from playing that stupid fireworks game on her phone.
In the waiting room, Gary sat hunched over, chin nearly touching his chest. He regretted not heeding his father's advice before stepping into his mother’s car.
"Don't use your mom's phone to play games while she's driving. Especially games that sound like fireworks." Advice too late to heed now.
Gary remembered a similar incident from when he was five years old. It was on July 4th at the city’s largest park. After an amazing fireworks display, he and his father had returned home. Excited, he rushed inside the house to tell his mother about the fireworks and the parade. However, upon entering inside, he found the house in total darkness. Calling out for his mother yielded no response. Then, his father tapped his shoulder. "Check our closet."
He hurried into his parents’ closet, finding it in total darkness as well. Switching on the light, he discovered his mother lying flat on the floor with a pillow over her head.
"Mom! Mom! Are you okay? Are you sick? What happened to you?"
Right behind, his father tapped his shoulders again and whispered. "She's afraid of fireworks because it reminds her of gunshots back in Africa."
Gary lamented. If only he hadn't clicked on the fireworks game. They would have been at the mall, enjoying his favorites — slices of caramel pecan silk supreme pie and chocolate mousse cake, and ice cream with mini Oreos topping.
"Hey, buddy. How are you holding up?”
Two uniformed officers appeared before Gary.
Gary looked up and immediately recognized the short and muscular red-haired officer, identifying him as the first responder who was first to arrive at the scene and radio for the ambulance.
“I'm Officer Michael, and my partner here is Jack.”
“What's your name, little man?” A fat and taller officer shot out his pudgy hand at Gary.
“My name is Gary sir,” Gary stuttered, taking a hold of Officer Jack’s chunky sweaty palm and barely able to shake it.
"You did a great job on that man,” Officer Michael said. “If you hadn't performed CPR and tilted his chin upward, something terrible might have happened for sure. You saved his life, young man. Where did you learn to do that?”
"Sixth-grade health class," Gary replied in a low undertone. "I couldn't do mouth-to-mouth breathing because I didn't have a mask."
“Well, what you did was excellent,” Officer Jack remarked.
“Will he be okay?” Gary asked.
“The old man?”
Gary nodded.
Officer Jack sighed, wiping his forehead. "We don't know yet, still waiting to hear from the doctor."
Mary-Ann noticed two officers talking to her son and walked over, hoping to interrupt and possibly take her mind off the gunshots. She felt remorse for her past fear leading to this predicament, recalling an incident from Africa two decades ago.
"So what happened to the old man on the sidewalk?" Officer Michael asked Gary.
“I don’t know,” Gary said. “I remember seeing my mom spinning the steering wheel like out of control and then I felt a big bang before the car stopped…Mom screamed and put her head on the steering wheel. I looked in front and saw an old man lying on the sidewalk.”
Gary found himself biting his nails, the rhythmic tap offering a subtle distraction. Beside him, his mom and her hollow breaths, audible with each response to the officer’s questions, only heightened the tension. Standing there, he momentarily forgot the usual anticipation of her disapproval—a quick, sharp slap on his hand when caught nibbling. Regardless, he sensed she was in no mood to react, resembling the deer frozen in front of their headlights that they almost hit one time on a road trip to Grandma’s in Chicago.
“Is that all?” Officer Michael asked.
Gary hesitated, now wrestling with the vivid images flashing through his mind. The accident played on a loop — the old man lying motionless on the sidewalk. That reality was stark and real, far different from the countless dead bodies he had seen in movies.
And then there was his mom's incessant trembling and piercing screams echoing, before and after the crash. He had never in his life seen anything like that from her. It was like she was a different person, a person he decided early on not to reveal to the police officers. He regretted not heeding his father’s advice and playing that stupid game.
“Is that all?” Officer Michael repeated, his gaze fixating on the 11 year old boy’s furrowed brow.
Gary gulped, accidentally swallowing the nail fragments he had chewed off. With his voice a mere whisper, “I don't remember much else. Everything happened so fast. It was like —”
Officer Jack placed a reassuring hand on Gary's shoulder. "It's alright buddy. You’re not in any trouble. We just need to understand what happened."
Mary-Ann stood by her son’s side, feeling a mixture of anxiety, guilt and anger. Anger mostly.
“Where are the rebels coming from, behind us or in front of us!” she remembered yelling at her startled son upon hearing the sound of fireworks from the phone.
“That’s the sound of an M16; the rebels have captured this area! Woa Yo!” Mary-Ann’s voice raged.
“What rebels, Mom?” Gary asked, tears welling in his eyes. “There’s no one here.”
“They block the street, so we won’t be able to get out of here! Over my old Pa’s dead body!”
Mary-Ann pressed her foot harder on the pedal, accelerating the SUV 30 miles per hour over the 65 posted speed limit.
“Mom!” Gary called out in plea to his mother but her eyes did not look at him.
Like a bull zeroing in on its target, Mary-Ann focused on the nearing barricade. One way or another, she was going to break through, for her son’s sake. She was not going to allow any rebels to take him. If death was the outcome, then it would be a much better alternative.
“Hold tight Gary!” she shrieked.
“Mommy, stop please!”
Gary's cries escalated into full-on wailing. Mary-Ann, unfazed, continued driving, her eyes fixed on the road ahead.
As she barreled towards her target, a sudden sun ray shot across the windshield, catching her off guard. With little time to react, she lifted her hand in a feeble attempt to shield her face.
In that fleeting moment, straining to see through the glaring light, Mary-Ann caught sight of a white metallic object hurtling towards her.
“Shit!” she exclaimed, her grip tightening on the steering wheel. With a surge of adrenaline, she turned it with all her strength, desperately trying to veer away from the impending collision.
"Ma'am, can you tell us what happened leading up to the accident?"
“Ma’am?”
“Ma’am?”
“Huh,” Mary-Ann said. “Who said that?”
Officer Michael waved his hand in front of Mary-Ann. “Ma’am, are you alright? I kind of lost you there for a minute.”
“Where’s my son!” Mary-Ann looked around frantically.
“He’s fine,” Officer Michael said, letting out a chuckle before pointing his finger in the direction of the hospital’s vending machines.
There Gary was eating a large cookie and engrossed in a stack of cards held by Officer Jack.
“This one right here is my favorite baseball player,” Officer Jack could be overheard saying.
She looked at her son and could not help but feel proud. He was growing and looking more and more like his 6'3" father. Most importantly, he was maturing and becoming a MAN. The accident was proof of this. If it was not for him, she was sure she would have been in much more trouble, maybe even in handcuffs. No…likely in handcuffs. She wished she could turn back time.
“Oh God,” Mary-Ann groaned, her forehead resting on the steering wheel.
Gary unclasped his seatbelt and leaned forward, peering beyond their SUV's cracked windshield and dented hood. He could make out what appeared to be a white car, completely mangled at the front. It was not an ordinary car though. It had three wheels, reminiscent of that tricycle car he saw once in a commercial.
Gary called out to his mother, who was now rubbing her head on the steering wheel. “Mom. Mom. You okay?” His eyes scanned past his mother and stopped on a figure lying face up on the sidewalk.
Mary-Ann lifted her head slowly from the steering wheel, awakened by the creak of the car door. She glanced at the empty front seat, noticing the ajar door.
Wrapping both hands around her mouth, Mary-Ann’s thoughts raced. “God, what did I do?”
Before panic could settle in, she began to hear that familiar and innocent squeaky voice. She turned to her left side and saw her son kneeling down. He was talking to a man, lying still on the sidewalk.
Wide-eyed, Mary-Ann flung her door open and ran towards her son
"Gary, we need to go! We can't stay here!" she pleaded.
But Gary remained resolute, his focus on the unconscious man. "I can't just leave him, Mom. He needs help."
"Gary!" Mary-Ann screamed, extending a bruised arm, fingers rattling. She looked in the direction where they were heading and saw nothing. Not a car in sight, pedestrian, barricade or rebels for that matter.
“We can’t stay,” Mary-Ann continued her plea. “Please son get in the — ”
“I can't Mom,” Gary said, meeting her gaze. Streams of tears marked his face. “I have to do something.”
Turning back to the man, Gary placed the heel of his hand on the center of the chest and pressed down firmly, allowing the chest to recoil between compressions. He counted each compression in his mind, just as he did on the manikin in health class.
“Mom, call 911!” Gary’s voice quivered with urgency.
Mary-Ann stood still, her gaze shifting between her son and the unconscious man.
Gary continued the compressions, pausing once to tilt the man's head back slightly before resuming. His hands moving with determined purpose.
Tears blurred Mary-Ann's vision as she watched her son's hands methodically pressing down on the stranger's chest. Each compression tightened the knot in her throat. Helplessness gripped her heart, but beneath it, a surge of pride welled up.
She failed to notice the arrival of the police cruiser behind until a short red-haired officer rushed past, urgently radioing for an ambulance.
Gary, his face streaked with tears, looked up at the officer with desperation and relief. The man remained unresponsive despite his efforts.
The officer swiftly took over, instructing Gary to move back, while distant sirens heralded the coming arrival of the ambulance.
“Ms. Brown.” “Ms. Brown.”
The voice of Officer Michael jolted Mary-Ann. The sound of her married name still unsettled her. She had opted to keep it. “Brown” was much easier on the American tongue than her African maiden name. Plus, it opened a lot more doors to employment and career progression, as had advised by a successful lawyer relative in DC.
“Sorry Mr. Officer,” Mary-Ann said, wiping her face with both hands.
"We appreciate both you and your son staying put after getting discharged. Thankfully, he's alright, and your injury is minor." Officer Michael pointed to Mary-Ann’s bandaged arm.
Mary-Ann looked at her bandaged right arm. True, she and Gary were lucky to be alive, more so Gary for not having a single scratch. She did not know how she could have forgiven herself if something was to happen to him. A swollen arm is a far better price to pay.
“Ms. Brown,” Officer Michael persisted. “We just need to understand what transpired today. Can you walk me through the events?”
Mary-Ann gulped and hesitated. It was a quarter past 6 pm and hunger was starting to gnaw at her. The image of making Gary's favorite dinner, lasagna with lots of cheese, flashed in her mind. She and Gary would have stuffed their bellies by now and topped it off with butter pecan ice cream on the couch and his kiddy movie. Would have if she had not overreacted.
“Ms. Brown?”
Mary-Ann took a deep breath, trying to calm her nerves. “Well, Officer, we were driv—”
“Officer.”
A doctor had appeared. He had several bag lines underneath his eyes and a couple of brown stains on his supposed white coat. “Officer, may I have a word with you?”
“Can you sit tight for a few?” Officer Michael said, pointing to one of the waiting room chairs.
Mary-Ann nodded and did as she was told. She was then joined by Gary, who hugged her non-injured shoulder.
Officer Michael, now accompanied by a wheezing Officer Jack, who had hurried back from the vending machines, redirected his focus to the haggard looking doctor.
“How is he doc?” Officer Michael inquired.
“He’s stable,” the doctor said. “But we are going to keep him overnight for observation.”
“Stable as in?”
The doctor flipped open a brown clipboard he was carrying and started to read from it. “The X-ray result shows no major issue. He has a couple of bruises on his back but nothing serio—”
“Wow, really?” Officer Jack interjected, scratching his blonde buzz haircut. “Tough SOB.”
The doctor continued, slightly annoyed, "As I said, nothing serious, except he complained of pain in both legs. Hence, we want to prescribe him some heavy painkillers and keep him overnight for observation."
“Can we see him to ask him a couple of questions?” Officer Michael asked.
“By all means,” the doctor said, not looking from his clipboard.
“Officers!” the doctor shouted, just as Officers Michael and Jack were enroute to the last room in the dimly lit hallway.
“Yeeess,” said Officer Michael, turning around.
The doctor pointed to a standard white dial clock above the nurses’ front help desk. “Be aware that I want to give the painkillers to Mr. Ferguson very soon, no later than 30 minutes from now.”
“We will do our best,” Officer Jack said, saluting.
“30 minutes TOPS.”
“Mr. Ferguson, are you feeling okay?” Officer Michael asked, checking the time on the EKG machine. Ten minutes had elapsed, and their attempts with the bald, freckled-faced old man proved fruitless. Like the woman before, the old man remained unresponsive, staring into space until either he or Officer Jack nudged him back to reality.
“Mr. Ferguson?” Officer Michael asked again, massaging his forehead.
“Please call me Bill,” Bill said. “I don’t like ‘Mister this’ or ‘Mister that.’ Everybody calls me ‘Bill’.”
“Okay, Bill.” “Can you—”
"Can you tell us what happened today that got you to the emergency room?" Officer Jack said with a brisk and demanding tone.
“Well, I was in an accident,” Bill said.
“Can you be more—”
Officer Michael patted Officer Jack on the shoulder, who then got up and walked out of the hospital room.
As he walked past Officer Michael, a muffled “asshole” escaped his breath.
Bill grinned. “Your partner is a real peach, ain’t he.”
“My apologies, it’s been a long day,” Officer Michael said, eyes darting at the EKG’s time. 15 minutes left before they have to call it quits. “Bill, you said you were in an accident. Let’s go back a bit. What happened leading up to the accident?”
Bill leaned back, tapping his fingers on the hospital bed rail. "Well, I was driving along Sanford Rd, coming from where the mall is. I was taking gifts to my grandkids, which, by the way, I realized I have not called them yet since getting in this predicament. They and my kids must be worried sick!"
Bill attempted to get up, eyeing a wall-mounted phone near the hospital room bathroom.
"Woah, woah, Bill," Officer Michael intervened, hands in front of the anxious old man. "Take it easy. Take it easy. We can call your family as soon as we finish. It won’t be long, I promise."
Officer Michael stole a quick glance at the EKG machine. “Damnit!” Neither him nor Officer Jack wanted to continue this investigation into the next day. Certainly, not on their day off. Additionally, they still had to interview the woman, and such a feat wouldn’t be straightforward, based on initial interactions.
Bill reclined back and took a deep breath. “Okay, but I have to call them afterwards. ASAP.”
“Don’t worry, I will personally make sure of it. Let’s circle back. You said you were coming from the direction of the mall. Did you see any vehicles around you?”
Bill shook his head. "Nope. Just me and the open road. I didn't see that SUV coming at all."
Officer Michael exchanged glances with a red faced Officer Jack, who had re-entered the room.
“Okay, let’s talk about the accident then. What can you tell us about it?”
“Well, I’m not really sure exactly, but all I remembered was being hit and the next thing I knew I was in the air looking at the clouds before I blacked out.”
“Did you notice anything unusual before the collision or before ‘being hit’?”
Bill scratched his head, his freckled face furrowed in concentration. "Honestly, Officers, it's all a blur. I can't remember anything specific."
Officer Jack muttered something under his breath, causing both Officer Michael and Bill to crack a smile.
"Your partner seems a bit on edge, Officer," Bill said.
Officer Michael waved his right hand in dismissal. “Let get back.”
“Look Officer, all I know is that I was driving and the double yellow was on my right when I got hit.”
“Double yellow?”
“The double yellow line.”
Officer Michael recalled the Slingshot motorcycle and its crushed bumper facing the SUV when he arrived at the scene: Bill lying unconscious as the 11-year old boy performed CPR on him.
“That SUV was on the wrong side of the road when it hit me,” explained Bill, wagging his index finger in the air. “Whoever was driving it that hit me must have been on towards oncoming traffic. The double yellow was on my right. I remember that for a fact.”
Officers Michael and Jack looked at one another.
Officer Michael drew out a pen and a small notebook from his uniform pocket.
“Let us get this clearly,” he said, clicking the pen. “You are saying that the double yellow line on the road was on your RIGHT side when you got hit?”
“YES. SIR”
/The Accident. By West African writer Josephine Dean./

Im aware everyone responds differently, and I personally at 23 dont mind a solid Norwood 2 as I still remember 5 years ago still doing 99% of haircuts, but is becoming one reasonable for the stack Im using after 8-9 months being finasteride 1mg, minoxidil 5%, nizoral 2% and dermarolling 1.5mm?

The epitome of professionalism, the strike of fear in the hearts of men, the shrieking hellion, the leader of the pack. The infamous Drill Sergeant. While most individuals will never know a Drill Sergeant outside of Major Payne and Full Metal Jacket, most Soldiers will never know a Drill Sergeant outside of Basic Combat Training (BCT). This can lead to a lot of rumors, misinformation, and questions that many are simply too afraid to ask. Not to mention the fact that in the grand scheme of the Army, there really aren’t that many Drill Sergeants floating around, which has led me to writing this post to give you a few things to think about before you embark on you’re the hallowed path of the Drill Sergeant.
The Basics
Before I begin, I would like to mention that I myself am an Army Reservist and have been throughout my nearly 11 year career. This does not make me completely ignorant to Active Duty life. Currently, I am an Active Guard Reserve (AGR) Soldier who is, essentially, an Active Duty Soldier assigned to an Army Reserves unit. Not to mention I was embedded in an Active Duty BCT Company alongside Active Duty Drill Sergeants for three years.
There are a couple of different ways for you to become a Drill Sergeant. If you are an Active Duty Soldier, you are usually what is called “DA Selected.” This means the Army needs a Drill Sergeant, and you were selected (voluntold); although it isn’t entirely uncommon for an Active Duty Soldier to volunteer themselves for Drill Sergeant duty. If you are a National Guard Soldier, often the only way for you to become a Drill Sergeant is to be in a Recruit Sustainment Program (RSP) unit where you work with “Future Soldiers” who have contracted into the Army via Military Entrance Processing Station (MEPS) and are awaiting shipment to BCT. If you are in the Reserves, like myself, then you must Reschedule Training (RST) with a Drill Sergeant unit, pass their assessment, work alongside your current unit and Drill Sergeant unit to ensure you are properly transferred, and then begin work as a Drill Sergeant Candidate.
Your New Unit
I am going to speak to the Reservist Soldiers throughout this section. Mostly because having walked that path, I am the most versed in it. The Active Duty route is fairly straight forward. You either become a “turtle” at an Active Duty BCT unit where you receive on-the-job training in preparation for the Academy and begin to work on your MOI’s, or you PCS to the Academy itself followed directly by your actual BCT Company upon Academy graduation. Whichever path you take, remember to maintain a high level of physical fitness and learn your Top 3. MOI books can be ordered online through US Patriot Tactical. For National Guard Soldiers, speak to your chain-of-command and Retention NCO’s to find out the best way to start the process to becoming a Drill Sergeant. For my fellow Reservists, an RST is where a Soldier typically knows in advance that they are going to miss Battle Assembly (BA) and reschedule it ahead of time. This can also be used for you to attend BA’s with other units, such as when you are on the path to becoming a Drill Sergeant. While unit’s each have their own SOP’s, the Reserves Drill Sergeant unit I RST’d with required me to complete the Army Physical Fitness Test (APFT) at 80% in each event on the 17–21 year old male scale. This is to ensure you are more than capable of physically completing the United States Army Drill Sergeant Academy’s (USADSA) 70% requirement in each event. The next event during that weekend’s BA was me receiving a Module of Instruction (MOI) book to begin memorizing. One of the biggest contributing factors to a Candidate’s failure at the Academy is reciting modules verbatim, also called “pitching modules.” The MOI book could be considered a Drill Sergeant’s Bible and consists of the technically and completely written step-by-step guide to executing every single Drill and Ceremony movement within the United States Army. Everything from Position of Attention, to Column Left, to Parade Rest, to Stack Arms is covered in the MOI. Luckily for Candidates who are not yet at the Academy, your only focus needs to be on the first three modules. Commonly called the “Top 3” or “Big 3”, the first three modules are typically required of Candidates prior to their units sending them off to the Academy confidently. For Reservists specifically, memorizing all three modules verbatim is almost always a mandatory requirement. The Top 3 consists of Position of Attention, Rest Positions at the Halt, and Hand Salute. Your unit will monitor your mental capability and see if you have made considerable enough progress to be given Candidate status throughout your first BA. A unit will often take you outside as well (or in the Drill Hall) to hear you sound off (or shout) commands to see if you really have it in you. Often times, Soldiers will freeze up as a few Drill Sergeants stare them down and size them up to see if they have the confidence required for the position. Let’s not forget the fun part of having all the current Drill Sergeants within your unit treating you like a trainee every weekend either (it’s just part of the process and gets you in the mindset for the Academy.) So get ready to be yelled at, run everywhere, stand at parade rest for Drill Sergeants of any rank (even if they outrank you), and get smoked non-stop while you’re in Candidate status because it’s merely a foreshadowing of what’s to come at the Academy. Once you have successfully made it through your first BA weekend, you will work with both units to begin the transfer process and officially become a Candidate. A Candidate will typically ship to the Academy within 3–6 months of officially becoming a member of a Drill Sergeant unit. This can be delayed if you fail to pass the APFT with your unit’s mandatory % in each event (an APFT is given every single BA until you ship to the Academy), showing negative progress on memorizing your MOI’s, general apathy and lack of professionalism, or personal issues that might require you to delay your ship date. Being treated like a trainee every month is usually pretty solid motivation for Candidates to front load the Academy on their priority list and get it knocked out. Keep your head down, keep your mouth closed unless you are instructed to speak (when you do, speak loud), remember your military customs and courtesies that the rest of the Army Reserves have mysteriously forgotten, prioritize taking time outside of BA to learn your MOI’s, and always do what you’re told to the best of your ability. You’ll be at the Academy in no time.
Drill Sergeant Academy
Ah, welcome to Fort Jackson in beautiful Columbia, South Carolina. Home of the United States Army (HE/SHE SAID IT!) Drill Sergeant Academy. Get used to hearing that every single morning for the next nine weeks. Remember BCT? Welcome to BCT 2.0. Nearly everything is the same down to the shark attack on Day Zero. If you’re a SFC, you had better check your ego and get used to being smoked by a SSG. You’re in their world now. In all honesty, the Academy isn’t all that different or special than any other military school. You start with your traditional in-processing, mandatory APFT in which you have to pass at the minimum standards for your age and gender group in order to be retained in the course. If you have fail the APFT, you will be given one more chance and if you fail again, it’s happy trails for you. Everything at the Academy was a near repeat of what BCT was. Wake up entirely too early to conduct PT, followed by either class room training, drill pad training, field training, or somewhere out on the installation training. Just like BCT, the name of the game is training. On top of becoming a Private again (and being treated like one as well), the Academy was focused in Phases as well like BCT: Red, White, and Blue Phase. You do all the events such as your three APFT’s, weapons qualification, ruck marches, FTX’s, Drill and Ceremony, confidence course, obstacle course, gas chamber, and rappel tower. I don’t need to go into detail about each training event because if you’re reading this article, it’s very likely you’re a Soldier and have completed them before. Just know that if you knocked it out during BCT, you will be required to knock it out again.
Where things become different is the fact that you will be graded on leadership ability as well as your performance as a member of a team. This means there will be several times (weekly, in some cases) throughout the Academy you will be required to lead PT, give classes, pitch modules, call cadences, conduct Drill and Ceremony, etc. Think of everything your Drill Sergeant did. You will be graded very meticulously on your ability to perform as a leader. Do you freeze up when pitching a module at the top of your lungs in front of 4 Drill Sergeants Leaders (DSL)? (PS: Don’t make the DSL sex joke…you will be chewed up and spit out and probably have your career ended on the spot.) Do you have a hard time sounding off loudly when marching Soldiers? Do you always mess up the order in which you call out the Preparation Drill? If so, these are areas that need to be worked on before you attend the Academy, because the Academy is not a very forgiving place. You will be recycled, you guessed it, just like BCT. But fear not! For unlike BCT, you will actually (usually) have your evenings and weekends off. You will also have access to your cell phone which you will leave in your barracks room when you head to class for the day. And seriously, don’t be “that guy” who brings his cell phone anyways and it goes off in class and your entire Platoon pays the price for it. You’re literally a Drill Sergeant Candidate in the world’s finest fighting force; act like it. You have two options: Party every weekend, stay hammered in the evenings, and constantly be searching for your next “fling”, or be professional with your time by getting involved with a study group amongst your peers so you perform at your best when it comes time to be assessed by the Drill Sergeants. I’ll admit, I partied here and there at the Academy, and I do recommend it. It’s a good time for you to de-stress during one of the most (if not, the most) stressful courses of your military career and allows you to build close friendships with your peers. But keep your goals and priorities close. Remember exactly why you’re at the Academy. I saw far too many get recycled when they failed assessments because they spent all their free time in the evenings on their cell phones and spent their weekends partying. The Academy forces you to develop something that will be critical throughout your time pushing Privates: Time Management. Either you use your time wisely so you succeed, or you use it like an idiot and get recycled until you learn your lesson. Other than developing very strong time management and strong friendships, I can’t say the Academy taught me an awful lot unfortunately. It might surprise you that the Academy does not teach you “how” to be a Drill Sergeant. There’s no yelling at trees like some might think. You get one quick lesson on how to sound off (pro tip: use your chest) and then you either swim or sink. There’s no high level leadership classes you are given. They don’t teach you exactly how to interact with Privates (outside of don’t touch them.) You’ll even be expected to complete an “embedment” during Blue Phase in which you and a battle buddy or two go to a BCT Company at Fort Jackson and lead a small event such as PT in the morning in front of trainees. The Academy is not so much a place of training as a place of performing. You are literally selected to be a Drill Sergeant by the Army if you’re Active Duty. If you’re Reserves or National Guard, you’ve already passed the vetting process. You have it in you, you simply have to prove it. All in all, the Academy isn’t that difficult. It’s BCT and you’ve already passed BCT before. Stay physically fit, don’t let the Drill Sergeant Leaders get in your head and play mind games with you, develop a tight knit bond with your peers, attend your study groups, and use your time wisely. You’ll be a Drill Sergeant before you know it.
On The Trail
For the first time (other than the embedment), you will be in front of trainees. Naturally, you’ll do the Army thing where you in-process, but your Company will likely throw you into the fray as soon as they possibly can. It seems every BCT Company in the Army is severely understaffed. Typically, a Company should have 4 Platoons (PLT) with 3 Drill Sergeants in each Platoon. That’s one Senior Drill Sergeant (SDS) who is usually a SFC or the senior SSG and two Drill Sergeants who are SSG’s or SGT’s. Yes, I did say SGT. Please don’t be that ignorant guy/gal who doesn’t think E-5 Drill Sergeants are a thing. I literally had the official Stolen Valor called on me because a lady on Facebook legitimately thought I was not real because I was an E-5 Drill Sergeant. In fact, you can become a Drill Sergeant Candidate as an E-4. You are conditionally promoted to E-5 upon your arrival to the Academy and keep it pending your graduation. However, do not expect your Company to be fully staffed. I wish I was lying when I told you my first cycle at Fort Leonard Wood was literally just me in my Platoon. Brand new, E-5 me. I acted as the Senior Drill Sergeant for my first two cycles until an actual SFC was transferred into my Company. I have actually never seen (or heard of) a Company who is at 100% of their Drill Sergeants, so expect overtime…and lots of it. Becoming a Drill Sergeant is not for the weak-hearted. My days typically saw me waking up around 0330 in order to be at the unit around 0400–0430. I wouldn’t leave work until around 2000–2100. This doesn’t include the fact that you still have to maintain a life outside of work. You have to buy groceries, make meals, run errands, do laundry, find time to maintain relationships with friends and family, and somehow try to find time to meet others in your area if you’re single. If you’re married with children, your family is going to have to understand that you’re basically deployed. Yes, you’re probably about 10–15 miles max from your house, however, you’re availability is non-existent. And when you do come home, it is very difficult to be present because you’re are completely drained both physically and mentally. Unfortunately, many divorces happen on the trail. Plan ahead of time and adjust fire accordingly when necessary. Having your house in order is a critical component to your success “on the trail” (which is what your tour as a Drill Sergeant is called).
Now that we’ve covered your home life briefly, let’s get into your daily life on the trail. Nearly every morning will start off with First Formation followed directly by PT. PT it typically followed by either Breakfast Chow or Personal Hygiene. After that you get into the day’s training, Lunch Chow, more training, Dinner Chow, finish training, and then Personal Time for the trainees. Training, training, training. As a Drill Sergeant, you are expected to be a Subject Matter Expert (SME) in all things training. It is your primary purpose to ensure that you create a Soldier capable of winning our nation’s wars and making it back home to their families. It is your secondary purpose to care for these trainees at all costs. You are charged with the personal safety of them and their families have entrusted them with you. Mission first, but care for your Soldiers, always. Entirely too many Drill Sergeants rely on one or two Drill Sergeants within the Company who are the true SME’s and expect them to cover their shortcomings every day. You are a Drill Sergeant. You are a self-sufficient leader within the Army and it is your duty to learn things you do not know. Don’t know Land Navigation? Study. Don’t know Drill and Ceremony? Study. Don’t know what the third exercise is in 4 For The Core? Study. Yes, there are plenty of Drill Sergeants who slip through the Academy’s cracks and become a burden to their peers on the trail. Do not be that guy/gal. Carry your weight and take pride in what you are. At some point of time, you will be tasked with teaching a class for the entire Company. You peers are going to rely on your expertise to teach their trainees critical information. You simply cannot be the Drill Sergeant that “doesn’t know that one” every time you are tasked with a class. As a Drill Sergeant, your power base is one of the most important things you own. It gives you power, leverage, and charisma over your trainees. It’s what inspires them to follow and have the discipline and respect to continue to follow you through thick and thin. Repeated mistakes, bad communication, or ignorance is a sure fire way to lose your power base. Once you’ve lost your power base with your Platoon, it is very difficult to get it back. While most Drill Sergeants never lose their power base, it does happen and when it happens, it’s very bad. I once had a Drill Sergeant in my Platoon who could not march or call cadence. I covered down for her every day (we cover down on each other’s weaknesses to protect power bases) but eventually the Senior Drill Sergeant was sick and tired of my peer never prioritizing learning Drill and Ceremony. He ordered me to stand down and allow her to get out there and march the trainees. What happened next was the most pathetic thing I have ever seen in my life. Couldn’t remember cadences, calling commands on the wrong foot, and zero confidence. The trainees could see this and they ate it. She never gained their respect again. They did not trust her anymore. When she pushed information out or gave a class, they would follow-up with me to make sure that she had taught the right thing. This is why time management is important. You don’t have very much free time as a Drill Sergeant; you better use what time you have to learn the things you are weak on. While also making time to eat and spend time with family, etc. Nobody said this was going to be easy. Each week, there is either a Duty Drill Sergeant or Duty Platoon (depending on unit SOP). They are charged with creating the Training Schedule for the week, in charge of reserving all the ranges or classrooms for the week, and ensuring training gear such as ice sheets and range boxes are properly equipped and transported to the training sites. This is a stressful week for the Duty Drill Sergeant and their Platoons as it requires them to come to work even earlier, work even harder daily, and work later. If you’re a good Drill Sergeant who gets along well with your peers, plenty of assistance will be provided. Make sure you pay it forward when it isn’t your duty week and go the extra mile for others as well. If you’re an arrogant jerk to your peers, they will happily let you fall flat on your face. Drill Sergeants are very tight knit, but they are not afraid to put you in your place either. We are assertive professionals who are not afraid of others or to speak our minds. Also, there are the Charge of Quarters (CQ) and Duty Driver tasks as well. Duty Driver is responsible for ensuring all the trainees make it to their appointments on time, bringing chow to the training areas, and various tasks here and there when a vehicle is required. CQ will typically perform their Drill Sergeant duties as normal throughout the day, but will spend the night in the Drill Sergeant’s CQ Office all night until the next morning. You will be directly responsible for any issues that happen in the barracks until your team returns the following morning. Now that I have covered the day-to-day basics of being on the trail, let’s get into the issues that literally nobody ever thinks about when they think about being a Drill Sergeant duty. If yelling was our only jobs, it would be the easiest job in the world.
Trials on the Trail #1: Red Cross Messages
In my opinion, this is the absolute worst part of being a Drill Sergeant. Most Soldiers would likely say it is the worst part of the Army. Red Cross Messages are emergency alerts sent to a Soldiers’ unit to alert them that their family member is either severely ill or has passed away. In my time as a Drill Sergeant, I probably had to issue out about 10 Red Cross Messages. The one that still haunts me to this day was my very first cycle. A young female Soldier did not have parents in her life. Instead, she had her grandmother. Her grandmother was everything to her and she would never quit talking about her. I was able to use her grandmother as a source of motivation for her on several occasions throughout her cycle. “What would your grandmother think if she saw you giving up right now? What would you grandmother think if she knew she had to wait another 3 weeks to see you because you’ve been recycled? How proud would your grandmother be if you were able to qualify Expert on the rifle?” It was approximately one week from graduation and this young trainee had met all the requirements. As the butterflies in her stomach began to flutter ever more in anticipation to see her grandmother again as a Soldier, I received a Red Cross Message while on CQ duty in the middle of the night. Her grandmother had passed away. It was about 0200 when I had to go upstairs, wake her and her battle buddy up to come down to my office. How was I supposed to break the news? The Academy didn’t train me for this. Nobody did. But here I am, just me and two trainees…one who’s life I was about to change forever. I broke the news to her. After 20 minutes of absolutely uncontrollable sobbing, she finally began to settle down a bit. You see, the toughest part about being a Drill Sergeant is that you can’t always be “human.” I wanted nothing more than to take this young trainee under my arm and let her know that everything was going to be okay, her grandmother will always be looking down on her with gleaming eyes full of pride, and that life will go on eventually. I couldn’t really do any of these things. It was my duty to issue the news, provide a Chaplain to the trainee if necessary, ensure the Soldier was cared for and did not require anything crazy like suicide watch, and carry on with my day. I did just that, but I wish I could have done so much more. I always did. If you’re not ready to handle this grave detail, then the path of a Drill Sergeant is not for you.
Trials on the Trail #2: Hat Hunters
You will never have a larger target on your back than you will as a Drill Sergeant. For someone who supposed to have absolute trust with the lives of their trainees, you sure aren’t trusted at all. Whether it be the crusty Command Sergeant Major (CSM) who still wants vengeance on his Drill Sergeant from 20 years ago that you unfortunately become the scapegoat of, or the out-of-touch Colonel who wants nothing more than an additional Officer Evaluation Report (OER) bullet point, you are constantly 3 seconds away from being quick-scoped. If I could offer you one piece of advice as a Drill Sergeant, it would be this: Learn TRADOC Regulation 350–6 and learn it well. That is your left and right limits. As long as you stay within regulation, no harm can come to you. Breach your limits even a little bit and you can lose your entire career. I remember getting in-processed back in 2017 and a CSM had several campaign hats lining the upper walls of his office. He proudly displayed the hats as careers he had ended. While some of the Drill Sergeants more than likely deserved what came to them, others I completely disagree with. The Golden Rule of the Drill Sergeant is the 3 F’s. You don’t fck, feed (outside of chow time), or fight a trainee. However, even following the Golden Rule isn’t enough anymore. Hat Hunters, or upper echelon leaders whose sole purpose in life is to end a Drill Sergeant’s career, will jump on anything. Did you really just cuss out loud while calling cadence in front of trainees? We never cuss in the Army! Did you just call a trainee a “Private”? How dare you address them by their official rank! Are you wearing a fleece cap in -10 degree weather instead of your campaign hat while marching your trainees over two miles in 20mph wind? How dare you! Yes, these are all reasons that Drill Sergeants have gotten “hemmed up” while I was on the trail. I wish I could tell you things have gotten better, but they have only gotten much, much worse. It seems the “fck f*uck games” have only gotten more intense since I left the trail. There is now no such thing as a “shark attack.” My last cycle of BCT, we were not allowed to make the trainees run during the first week out of fear of them getting little blisters on their poor little feet. In fact, they did not even wear combat boots until Week Two, they were in PT shoes the entire time. The Army is getting softer and softer, while I won’t get into the root causes of why, I will give a warning about thinking you’re going to go Full Metal Jacket on the trainees as a Drill Sergeant. There is a time and a place for that, and it’s getting sparser by the day.
Trials on the Trail #3: Peer Pressure
Remember when I told you to follow TR 350–6 religiously in the previous section? You will have peers that use it as their door mats. These are the Drill Sergeants who are typically at 100% all day long and never come down. Or maybe they’re just too lazy or burned out to care anymore (this happens a lot.) Regardless, if you’re a good Drill Sergeant you can be expected to be called “Candy Drill” at least once, twice, or a hundred times throughout your time on the trail. A Candy Drill is a Drill Sergeant who is seen as too soft and forgiving of their trainees. While this is actually true sometimes for brand new Drill Sergeants who still lack confidence, this is used more often than not by overly aggressive Drill Sergeants who think everybody should be like them. For example, I was once called a Candy Drill by a Drill Sergeant who literally told me that I should quit caring about trainees because “they’re not even human, they’re Privates.” Yes, this type of trash actually slips into the ranks of Drill Sergeant. Every Company has them. There are bad eggs in every organization, the Drill Sergeant Corps is no different. Expect to butt heads with your peers from time to time (or daily in some cases) as many Drill Sergeants do not have the ability to “flip the switch” off. Once they get enraged over their Platoon’s lack of discipline, they will take it out on everybody around them, peers included. It is critically important for your success on the trail to find the happy balance that works best for you personally. You cannot be aggressive 100% of the time, but you also can’t be passive and turn a blind eye 100% of the time because you are exhausted either. You are not other Drill Sergeants, you are unique. Definitely take advice from your peers, but don’t be exactly like them. Be yourself. Besides that, your trainees are new to the Army, but not new to life. They will know when you are not being your true authentic self and you will lose respect for it (cue the power base speech.)
Trials on the Trail #4: Adaptive Leadership
If you don’t know what adaptive leadership is, search it on the internet and immediately begin reading books and articles about it. The quicker you learn it, the more successful you will become. I would even argue that as a leader in the military, this should be something you prioritize, Drill Sergeant Candidate or not. You are about to have 250 trainees of various ages, with various races and backgrounds, having various values and religions directly under your supervision for the next nine weeks. This is not a one size fits all ordeal. Those who think this way are seriously misinformed. Yes, you are a Drill Sergeant. Yes, it’s ultimately your way or the highway. But you are selected to be a Drill Sergeant because you demonstrate incredible leadership ability. Why throw that all away just so you can stroke your ego throughout a nine week power trip? Being that Drill Sergeant that only has one method of training and immediately blows a gasket when a trainee doesn’t fully understand is no different than a one trick pony. What good are you to the organization? What good are you to your trainees? News Flash: you’re not. It is your job as a Drill Sergeant to be the absolute best leader you can be to put out the absolute best product you can into the Army which will live on as your legacy to your organization, and take the absolute best care of your trainees as you can. This cannot happen without adaptive leadership. You must be able to adapt to your trainees specifically depending on their learning styles and be receptive of what communication factors are disrupting the learning process. You simply do not have very much time to have ineffective communication. Nine weeks feels like forever until you see your trainees crossing the graduation stage and you’re in your head the next two weeks wondering if you’ve actually taught them enough to survive. Don’t be that Drill Sergeant. Be confident in your abilities and utilize adaptive leadership. It is not “soft” and you are not God, you are a high quality leader entrusted with the lives of trainees. Do your best to adjust the way you shoot information out and utilize corrective training to get the best of each and every Soldier. You change up your approach almost as much as you will demand your trainees to change up theirs.
Trials on the Trail #5: Stigma
Ah, the stigma of being a Drill Sergeant. This will follow you the rest of your life, so be ready for it. Females will either get hot and flustered thinking about a man in uniform with dominance, or will think you have domestic violence down to a science. Weak men will avoid a dominant female as it glares through every insecurity they have ever hid in their closet, or they will simply call you a b*tch. The Drill Sergeant stigma is a very real thing. On the military side of the house, it means that every unit you will ever be a part of for the rest of your career will hold your Drill Sergeant badge against you. They will think you are a God who is capable of doing literally anything they throw your way. So they will throw everything your way while they often sit back expecting you to handle it. They will also be hyper critical of you the moment you mess up. We are human and mistakes happen. Maybe you should have gotten a haircut over the weekend but were completely exhausted. You can be sure to get an earful on Monday as ZZ Top himself is lecturing you on your higher standard of professionalism as a Drill Sergeant. On the civilian side, employers will often fear you unless they themselves have served in the military. You will put down that you were a Drill Sergeant on your resume, or maybe it comes up during the interview that you had previously served on the trail, and immediately you are stigmatized. Your employer doesn’t want a hot head working this customer service gig, as a police officer, or any other position where they can create a hostile or toxic work environment. You think I’m kidding but I’ve literally had an employer tells me months after I was hired that he took a “big risk” on me and was “afraid of me” for the first couple of months until he got to know me better. Again, civilians don’t know anything about Drill Sergeants outside of Major Payne and Full Metal Jacket. They think we are shrieking hellions from the sixth circle of hell that leave trails of hellfire in our wake. Maybe they’re not completely wrong.
The End of a Story
Ah, your two (or three) years on the trail have finally come to an end. As you begin training the Baby Drill (new Drill Sergeant fresh out of the Academy) to replace you, you can finally begin to breathe a sigh of relief. Drill Sergeant duty is widely considered the most difficult assignment in the Army (outside of Special Forces, Rangers, and Infantry in deployment of course.) It is the most challenging and rewarding job in the military in my opinion, and I’m not alone in that train of thought. To see the lives of young men and women be transformed and inspiring and pushing them to overcome obstacles and realize their dreams is no small feat. Taking civilians from all over the country and turning them into one unit capable of bringing the fight to the enemy effectively while surviving is also no small feat. You will make many personal sacrifices throughout your time on the trail. You will likely see relationships crumble, put everything in your life on hold for two to three years, and sacrifice some of your personal health as you probably won’t be able to lift weight and meal prep as perfectly as you were able to prior to becoming a Drill Sergeant, however, the day families see their sons, daughters, sisters, brothers, grandsons, and granddaughters as a Soldier for the first time makes everything worth it. They never fail to see a massive change in their Soldier from mannerisms, to confidence, to their physical appearance, and mental strength. You name it, they see it. And they thank you for it from the bottom of their hearts. While their Soldier will be their #1 heroes, you will always be a close second. As this chapter in your life comes to a close, use this time to begin rewiring your brain back into “non-Drill Sergeant” mode. The world no longer revolves around you, every little mistake made does not need to be compared to a life or death scenario, you no longer have control of the world around you, you need to seriously think about what you say before you say it, your emotions need to be placed in check, and so too does your ego. I would love to be able to sit here and state that I took my own advice when I hit the trail, I really would. But this information was never made available to me when I was a Drill Sergeant. I made the mistakes I made so that I can prevent you from making them too. Like most Drill Sergeants I was surrounded by, I was very arrogant and egotistical. Yes, I cared deeply for my trainees, but I also thought I was God. It’s a very easy trap to fall into as a Drill Sergeant as your influence is probably bigger than it ever will be in your life and many people look up to you. The issue is, when you leave the trail, your world comes crashing down. I was an aggressive and emotional train wreck for the entire year following my departure as a Drill Sergeant. Every little mistake my then-girlfriend (now wife) would make, I would verbally abuse her. In my head, I was simply attempting to correct an error that was made. In real life, I was tearing our relationship apart. Please keep in mind, at no point of time did I ever truly understand the true extent of the damage I was causing. It is a very stressful thing for someone to go from total control of their surroundings to next to none. Eventually, the stress led to anxiety. I’m not going into every single detail about the struggles I had in my transition from Drill Sergeant to regular Soldier, just know that I have a very strong wife and I am blessed she never gave up hope on me. She knew I was struggling and was with me every step of the way. To prevent yourself from ever falling victim to this mentality, humble yourself while you are on the trail. Never think too highly of yourself and remember, you are blessed to be in your position. It is a privilege, not a right. You are human and make mistakes too. If you ever to find yourself in that dark place, please reach out to therapists who can help you rewire your train of thought back to normal and allow you to vent about the struggles you face. What was incredibly beneficial to my healing was Stoic Philosophy, Emotional Intelligence, and Empathy. An easy to read book I highly recommend you to start with is Ego Is the Enemy by Ryan Holiday.
A New Chapter
As you begin the next chapter of your life, hold close the experiences shared and lessons learned from your time on the trail. Although I struggled after leaving my tour as a Drill Sergeant, now that I am 100% again, I wouldn’t trade it for anything. My time as a Drill Sergeant has made me assertive, confident, capable, adaptable, and an asset to any organization. My ability to communicate effectively and clearly is unrivaled. My ability to break things down big ideas and train others with high levels of precision is world class. My ability to inspire others from all walks of life to follow my lead as I adapt to their learning styles and demonstrate true leadership in real time is unmatched. I don’t say this to “toot my own horn”, I say this because that is what you earn when you have put in hard days, weeks, months, and years of your life as a United States Army Drill Sergeant. And this ability can be yours too, you just have to go out there and earn it. Yes, the path is daunting and inspires fear in even the strongest of Soldiers. However, on the other side of fear, there is victory.
THIS WE'LL DEFEND!

Ive been using finasteride 1mg, minoxidil 5% everyday, recently added in microneedling 1.5mm once a week and nizoral 2% twide a week for a bit over 2 months now and I can see my hairline going from a Norwood 2.5 to a solid Norwood 2, and I know everyones response is different and for me I dont mind being that at 23, as it was my hairline at 18 and I still did 99% of haircuts but given this stack is it reasonable to go to that?

This is my comprehensive review regarding prep for taking Step 3 my fellow comrades (Part 1). The reason I typed this up is because something like this was hard for me to find when scouring.
I also am posting a Step 3 day of test taking strategy intertwined into a generalized test taking strategy checklist to success as part of this, which can be used for any big test at a testing center and is more generalizable (Part 2). I believe both are essential to a successful test day. Best of luck to whoever is reading this. You got this.

Part 1: Gathering your study materials and getting after it.

First things first, here was my score Step 3: 22X
Now, before we prepare ourselves mentally and physically, we must gather the resources to begin this journey.
First, let's start with studying and study materials. Before you even buy Uworld and CCS cases, check and see how much education credit you will be receiving in residency. In my case, we received $1,500 which basically covered Uworld (~$500), CCS cases (~$90), and the test itself (~$1,000). I see people wanting to get done Step 3 before residency and I commend that. I believe that is the best option ONLY if you can reach out and ask your residency if they would retroactively cover the costs for you. This is ideally the best option because when you start you won't have much studying time. The second-best option would be to take it in July right before the craziness of residency hits and you still can get the costs covered by the residency program. So, either be ready to take prior to starting ONLY if it's covered or take the first month because why pay for something if it's going to be covered in the future? Either way, I highly recommend doing Step 3 the same year as graduating medical school and that is because you will be amazed by how much information you quickly forget as time goes on. Making it only harder for you because as residency progresses, the less time you will have in life for studying. Get it done ASAP, nothing I recommend higher than that. I am sure glad I did.
Uworld: With that being said above, Uworld is still the best resource and I also highly recommend the biostats add-on (I hit biostats so hard by the time test day rolled around I wanted to see more bio stats questions on test day. This is how hard you should hit it, seriously.)
CCS Cases: Also, I highly recommend CCS cases which is a separate resource because you get an actual grade, compared to the Uworld one which does not provide you with that. It is pretty cheap and well worth the money. I am glad I bought it. You want to start studying for the CCS cases earlier than you think just to get accustomed to how the interface works. Another caveat I recommend is to start with the low yield cases and build up to the high yield cases as you get more confident with the platform and your skills. The reasoning behind this is because the first time you see a case is the most important. The second time doing the same case is not as useful due to developed bias from seeing it the first time.
Biostats: Do not sleep on biostats. Do not sleep on biostats. Do not sleep on biostats. Okay now that we got that out of the way, seriously don’t sleep on it. Utilize one of the popular anki decks for biostats, use the first aid step 1 biostats section, and use the Uworld biostats add-on. Hit it so hard that you want to see more questions on test day.
Bugs + Drugs: My last piece of advice for gathering materials together is to utilize your anki step 3 deck + sketchy bugs and drugs. Bugs and drugs are always high yield, so be confident with these on test day.
Free 120: Save this for a few days to a week beforehand to keep the info fresh in your mind as well as having built up the knowledge to crush the Q’s. You do not want your confidence crushed before going into the exam. (https://orientation.nbme.org/Launch/USMLE/STPF3)
Drugs Ads: You will encounter these on Uworld. Familiarize yourself with these. Be confident in your ability to tackle them on test day as they can make or break your mental strength after finishing a block. Also, very high yield, ALWAYS save the drug ads as your last questions on each block. You can get lost in the weeds with these and will lose crucial time if you do not do so. More importantly, as stated above, do NOT let these affect your mental peace of mind on test day. Do not let one of these sabotage your block by spending too much time on one and then have to rush through the rest of your Q's. I stuck to my strategy of saving these for the end in all blocks except one block I broke my own rule and I noticed it threw off my mental game and performance significantly.
Actual Studying: Now that we have gathered our resources, we move on to actually figuring out studying. Let’s start from actual residency if that's your case because as a 4th year med student you should have all the time in the world to study 😊. So, what I did was hit Uworld hard during a less intense rotation. Whatever that may be for you. In my case it was night shift during IM. 10 question blocks at a time because you never know when you’re going to get called for something. As time progressed, I switched to 40 Q blocks. Alright, now that have you have done most of Uworld, you feel super confident, just about to ready to take, you’re all signed up with a test date, we move on to part 2. Rewinding a bit, I took my test on back-to-back days which I preferred. I know others cannot but if you can I recommend doing it back-to-back. The info is still fresh and your head and mentally you’re prepared for this thing. The last thing you want is to do day 1, go back to work in the hospital for a week or two then repeat. No, you slay the dragon in one fell swoop.

Part 2 – Arguably equally if not more important than part 1 in my opinion.

I would like to provide whoever may need it, with my words of wisdom as well as my pre-game day and game day checklist/rituals. These are all the rituals I have accumulated through the years starting with the MCAT and now through Step 3. This part is intended to hit hard the mental aspect/preparation side of things which are often overlooked and not discussed enough. I believe the mental preparation for such a tremendous task is warranted. So, I prepared what I go through when it comes to prepping for these things. This can be applied to any big, proctored test.
Let's start with the pre-gameday essentials: Before even registering, ask around and look at reviews of the testing centers available to you. The last thing you want is to sit for an exam at a terrible location. Leaving nothing to chance is the goal here.
-Now that you have done your research and signed up you should double check your registration form and confirm the testing center location, ensuring it says the right date/time/and test you are taking. This seems very simple, but it will provide you with peace of mind whether you know it or not. This guide is intended to fully put your brain at ease enabling you to solely focus on crushing your exam and worry about nothing else which can distract you away from this monumental task.
Fast forwarding to the week of/day before
Print out 2 copies of your test certification and put them in a folder: Bring the folder in with you on test day. Why 2 copies? Because you never know if you’ll lose one. You absolutely need this, no exceptions. Sure, you can pull it up on your phone but that takes time. Give yourself peace of mind just in case the internet or your phone isn't working.
State ID or Passport: Please make sure the name on your ID/passport match EXACTLY the one on your certification. Not a single letter or word off. Please make sure these are not expired. I know of 2 examples where one person had an expired ID and the other had a name that did not match exactly but was close and neither were able to sit. I bring both my ID and passport just in case.
Earplugs for test day: I wear the loop brand ones (available on amazon) every night when I sleep which makes it convenient, I already have them. They also have a carrying case. You can bring them in on test day and you can also wear the headphones provided over top to make it extra quiet because there is always an annoying sound during test day. Make sure to wear these when doing your practice test to replicate game day. The cheap little orange foam ones work as well. The clutch thing is combining these with the in-house earphones which makes your environment ultra quiet, enabling you to execute questions with mental precision.
Contacts/glasses: If you wear contacts or glasses don't forget a backup pair.
Very comfortable clothes/shoes: I have lucky clothes I only wear for test day going all the way back to MCAT/Step 1 days. I have a lucky, very comfortable shirt which puts a smile on my face. Find a piece or pieces of clothing that brings you joy. I also maximize my comfy. I go for a baggy T-shirt, very soft/comfy sweatpants, sweatshirt or jacket, and comfy/lucky shoes. The sweatpants are essential. Also, the jacket which is always my patagucci (the new whitecoat, lets be honest) comes in clutch. It's always cold in the testing center so this is important. I even wear my favorite harry potter socks. Getting the clothes right is so important but always looked over. Also, lay out your clothes the night before and plan for 2 days of outfits if you're taking Step 3.
Nutrition: This one is also big time overlooked. I see so many people bring a granola bar for the day and think that's fine? No, this is essential to pay attention to. You need fuel for this marathon of a test day or days. You also need to time it correctly (see below for timing). Don't go too heavy and don't go too light. You don’t want a super carb heavy meal and be tanking halfway through the sections. You also don't want too little and not have enough fuel to push through the finish line. Also, pick the essential quick snack on your other breaks. For me this was gruyere cheese and trader joe's snacks like the coconut strips. For lunch I made pbj sandwiches with a nice diet coke which was perfect for me. Find that meal you love that isn't too much but just right. Remember you're going to be supplementing with snacks in between. This brings me into my next portion which is fluids. Don't go overboard with the fluids. The last thing you want is to have to pee during the middle of a section. I limit my fluid intake in the am, a few sips of water, no coffee. If you NEED coffee and know your bladder timing that's fine, just remember it's a diuretic. During my breaks I have a few sips of water but not too much to prevent the urge to urinate during a section. Get this down to a T, it's so overlooked.
Timing: So important. Whatever test you're taking, make sure you know the break times and what you can and cannot do on your breaks. From there you can start planning how you're going to use your time efficiently. Treat this time as money and be very sparingly with it, utilizing every minute for maximum efficiency.
You should always pull up the test content from the official test maker. In this case, I grabbed the USMLE Step 3 content from their own site.
I’ll talk more about strategy during the day of testing below. For now, think how you want to utilize this time and practice it when you take a full length practice test.
For Step 3 this is directly from the USMLE website and it is as follows
“Exam Format
Step 3 consists of multiple-choice questions (MCQs), also known as items, and computer-based case simulations.
Step 3 is a two-day examination. The first day of testing includes 232 multiple-choice items divided into 6 blocks of 38-39 items; 60 minutes are allotted for completion of each block of test items. There are approximately 7 hours in the test session on the first day, including 45 minutes of break time and a 5-minute optional tutorial. Note that the amount of time available for breaks may be increased by finishing a block of test items or the optional tutorial before the allotted time expires.
There are approximately 9 hours in the test session on the second day. This day of testing includes a 5-minute optional tutorial followed by 180 multiple-choice items, divided into 6 blocks of 30 items; 45 minutes are allotted for completion of each block of test items. The second day also includes a 7-minute CCS tutorial. This is followed by 13 case simulations, each of which is allotted a maximum of 10 or 20 minutes of real time. A minimum of 45 minutes is available for break time. There is an optional survey at the end of the second day, which can be completed if time allows.
Day 1: Step 3 Foundations of Independent Practice (FIP)
This test day focuses on assessment of knowledge of basic medical and scientific principles essential for effective health care. Content areas covered include application of foundational sciences; understanding of biostatistics and epidemiology/population health, and interpretation of the medical literature; and application of social sciences, including communication and interpersonal skills, medical ethics, systems-based practice, and patient safety.
The test day also includes content assessing knowledge of diagnosis and management, particularly focused on knowledge of history and physical examination, diagnosis, and use of diagnostic studies. This test day consists solely of multiple-choice questions and includes some of the newer item formats, such as those based on scientific abstracts and pharmaceutical advertisements.
Day 2: Step 3 Advanced Clinical Medicine (ACM)
This test day focuses on assessment of the ability to apply comprehensive knowledge of health and disease in the context of patient management and the evolving manifestation of disease over time. Content areas covered include assessment of knowledge of diagnosis and management, particularly focused on prognosis and outcome, health maintenance and screening, therapeutics, and medical decision making. Knowledge of history and physical examination, diagnosis, and use of diagnostic studies also is assessed. This test day includes multiple-choice questions and computer-based case simulations.”
If you're not taking step 3 disregard this and proceed below: For Step 3, here is what I did.
Day 1 After the first block, I took a 5 min breather but did not leave the test room. I stood for a little to stretch and got back to it. I would say this is optional. The reason was to save a little time and get in the groove. When you do take breaks, first know how long you want to take each break enabling yourself roughly 15-20 mins. for lunch. Remember this, you get 45 mins amount of break time in total on day 1. Make sure to locate a clock on the wall and know when you have to go back in by adding to that clock’s time. Also, take into account some of the proctors can be slow checking you back in. Each time you leave that test room, when you re-enter, they have to check your pockets, ankles, spin you around, and scan you with a wand. There may be people in front of you, they may be slow or fast. Keep an eye if a line forms, if they are slow or fast again taking this into account. The last thing you want is to lose your time for lunch or even worse, not being able to take a break in-between sections. The breaks in between sections are super important for a mental reset + getting in some fuel. Look at these opportunities as resets. Not enough is talked about when it comes to time management.
For day 2 of Step 3: First, realize day 2 is different. No biostats or drug ads, that's day 1 stuff. Second, we have CCS cases portion. Also, the questions are in 6 blocks with each block consisting of 30 questions and lasting 45 mins. This is compared to Day 1 where we had 6 blocks consisting of 38-40 questions and lasting an hour long each. Now, here is what I did. I utilized pretty much all of the 45 mins for the questions portion of the exam and here’s why. If your CCS cases are ending early, especially the 20 min ones, then that time saved is accrued back in the form of break time. So, by doing this you can mentally get the rest and fuel you need for questions while also stacking your body up to prepare for CCS with all that break time. With CCS you have 13 cases. Your time will keep gaining as they finish early. I believe by the time my day was done I had something like 30 mins of break time left. Prepare for this. I know a lot of people rush these cases, especially if they end early. While I would do like 2-3 in a row, I still would take a mini breather at my computer just to reset. I also would take breaks out of the testing room to go to the bathroom, stretch my legs, eat snacks. Don’t be afraid to do this even as other people are finishing up. Remember, it’s a marathon not a race. Utilize every advantage given to you.
Hygiene/sleep: Again, another overlooked aspect. You want to be as fresh as possible. You will be looking good and feeling good. Get a haircut recently or the day before. If you’re a guy have a cleaned shaved face or touch your beard up. Up. Cut your fingernails and toenails. Absolutely take a shower the night before or the morning of whichever one you prefer. Do not forget to do the essentials like brushing your teeth, deodorant, washing your face, moisturize, all your morning routine stuff.
Remember to sleep well the night before by getting to bed EARLY. Ideally, the week leading up to your exam you should be waking up at the time you will be waking for the test so your body develops the sleep pattern.
How do I carry all this? Well, I have a big tote bag that I put everything in including my snacks, lunch bag, folder, extra clothes, etc. And you ask, but that can't all fit in the locker? Correct. The valuables go in the locker and leave the bag off to the side somewhere out of reach. Nobody is going to mess with your lunch or extra clothes. Just let the person doing the check in know you're going to leave your stuff wherever you put it. I had my lunch box in my tote bag off to the side so when I came in on breaks I didn't have to fool with my locker and could eat right away which maximized my time. If you want to fit it all in your locker that's fine but remember having to unlock and relock will shave some time down. Also, ask them at the testing center if you can get one of the big lockers if you plan to do so.
Clean apartment/house: Make sure your apartment/house is clean the day before you leave. This includes brand-new sheets on the bed, laundry done, dishes clean, dishwasher emptied, kitchen cleaned, bedroom cleaned, floor vacuumed. No messes laying around the house. You want it so that when you leave the day of the test you have an absolute peace of mind that everything is in order in your life. You’re going to have that thought in your mind when you return after a very long test day to an awesome clean house which is an amazing feeling.
Reconnaissance: The day before my test is scheduled I drive to the testing center and scope out the area. I do this to acquaint myself with the drive the following day. Remember, you do not want to be surprised, come test today whatever that may be. Even better if you do it way ahead of time so you can focus on the other things the day before. This may seem ridiculous but remember were building an impenetrable mental fortress not even the USMLE can break on test day.
Full gas tank: Fill your car up with gas the day before. Make sure you have a full tank of gas driving to the test center and back. This again will give you peace of mind by knowing everything is in order and this is one less thing to think about because you need to solely be focusing on the test for your big day. Again, were adding to that mental fortress.
Actual test day: The time has come. You prepared; your mind is in a good worry-free space. All the steps above gave you reassurance you're about to crush this thing. Now we get into the steps for test day + mental readiness. Now, you’ve driven to the test center (already knew the drive from the day before so you’re not caught off guard) and you arrive early. If you have bad test anxiety like me, deep breaths, go to the bathroom if you have to, and don’t rush into anything. Yeah, there is going to be people ahead of you checking in, but you got to focus on YOU. You got to do what YOU got to do. So, now you’re in line and you take out your handy dandy folder with your test certification and State ID (which hasn't expired and matches exactly), you check in, and receive your locker key. It is time to put your valuables in the locker. Do NOT rush into the test room to get checked in. Double check everything is in order. Electronics are off and no electronics on your person. Fit whatever else besides your valuables you want in the locker. Now, like we talked about above with the tote bag (whatever works for you), if it all doesn't fit have no fear, we came prepared if it cannot fit in the locker. Do not let this phase you if it all can't fit. There will be room elsewhere in the testing center.
Mental aspect: Everything I'm going over plays into the mental side of things when it comes to test taking and we've now built our mental fortress with the steps above.
So now its actual test day, you've checked in, got all your items in order, scoped out the bathroom, waited in line, got patted down to enter the test room and proceed to walk in then sit in front of your computer. You sit down and now you want to do these steps.
Close your eyes, take really deep breaths, and try to clear your mind. Envision yourself doing all that studying for the past months/years. Envision yourself crushing this thing. Envision yourself when it comes to a hard question how you're going to tackle it. Envision how the day is going to play out. Remember, nothing will phase you. Mental precision. Mental flow. The USMLE isn't ready for this mental fortress you just built. It's game day. Do all this before you even hit start.
Right before you hit start on the exam: Make sure everything is in order. Earplugs in and you feel comfortable. Before you even hit start you can write down all your formulas for biostats. Once everything has been checked off mentally, take a deep breath and click start.
Congratulations and best of luck: Remember, the last thing you want on test day is to be thrown off by an inconvenience that is not even related whatsoever to this test, whichever one you’re taking. By doing the above you eliminate any surprises that could throw you off. This is the biggest day of your life or year. Come prepared. You will crush this thing and move on to a brighter future. I hope this was helpful for you and best wishes.
-OP

A film noir in CineScope and DeLuxe Color?! Sure, why not!
This was one of the most warm and lively noir films I've seen and I think a lot of that is owed to the fact that the cigarette smoke doesn't play a main character.
Its a product of its time (shrug/sigh) when it comes to Japanese-American relations...but the fact it was shot in Japan, at that time, is very interesting to me especially because this was just 1 year after Seven Samurai.
Stack seems kinda rigid and flat except in his scenes with Yamaguchi. She is lovely throughout. Can AI make a 007 film with her as the Bond girl?
Fuller is a cool cucumber and this is the first time I can remember seeing him on screen. Great villain.
Cameron Mitchell's performance is my favorite. His ability to play the cool gangster, the jealous "ichiban", and the drunk bully was pretty awesome.
Overall, its soft-boiled fiction made for its time, and that's okay. I genuinely liked the story, setting, and characters. I would rewatch this film.
My favorite parts were the ones with Mt. Fuji in the background - even the matte background scenes and the Hitchcock homage.
My least favorite part was the celebration party. The transition from traditional Japanese performance to jazz/swing dance was cheap.
Main takeaway: I still want to climb Mt. Fuji and am growing my hair out to get a WWII haircut. You can't stop me.
Towanda!

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Okay so...I can believe detectives being dumb by stress or nervousness,but, the case really goes from concrete evidence to circumstancial evidence that support the concrete evidence!yes its a lot to take in but bare with me!The only concrete evidence we got,is the dna from the stamp lick,why?Because theyve been trying so hard to get rid of Arthur Leigh Allen that they forgot that dna wasnt a thing around then!Don cheney came out and said it,that Arthur didnt like licking his own stamps!For what reason?There isnt a single reason he'd do that and even if he did do something,dna again! Wasnt around that time!From there we go to my definite zodiac killer suspect,but bare with me we still gotta prove this! His name is Gary Francis Poste,details you should know: his height was 5'11(180 cm),exactly 175lbs,his appearance was really similar to zodiac killer,He was a painter,discharged from the army,in his 20s-30s(29) around the first killing.He knew explosives,so let me just float you with evidence!We will start with Cheri Jo Bates,but we will end on something really mind-boggling,so...murder happened!The suspect that killed her though was by witness description described: in his 20s at exactly 5'11(180 cm), the weight wasnt described,local police started interviewing RCC students and had begun interviewing military personnel stationed at the nearby March Air Force Base,why am I telling you this? Because Gary was an airforce veteran ! Go figure! What a coincidence!Oh and guess what! The suspect wrote a letter to the police at the time,what a great coincidence of 2 zodiac killers existing right? Wrong!Because then we go to the next murder...Im keeping the best for last eitherways!Possible zodiac victim although done exactly like the murder of Cheri Jo Bates!....Kathleen Johns! What a coincidence again! Dont tell me! Its another zodiac?Suspect,again,described: as in his 30s because years have passed and you guessed it right! 5'10 only one inch less than the suspect actually is! Maybe the witness has temporary blindness or stress(most likely)?Well lets look at real Zodiac Killer murders! Paul Stine! Yes you heard me right! Zodiac killer's last confirmed victim! According to witness the suspect was no more than your typical joe:white male 25-35 years old(how could he be so young rn right?) and about 5'8 to 5'9 not quite the description!But! Wait!There was kind of a search conducted where they hadnt broadcast this guy's face and characteristics right?So why is that important,what happened when the real broadcast came out?Because I mean...it was very similar to the original,what changed?how can I put this? White male,5'10-5'11(exact heght of gary poste),175lbs(exact weight of gary poste),military haircut(eact background),35-45 years old(he would be at the time...)and all of this was tied to the zodiac?Oh come on must be my birthday! Too many coincidences,Wrong!I heard somewhere,when it stacks up like that,becomes evidence!