(After Atlas disappears into the trees, Adam turns slowly. The Crinos is fading slowly, disappearing to reveal a shape he hasn’t worn for years. Homnid, she knows. The shape of a man. She emerges from behind the tree and looks at the Gurahl. She’s never seen him like this; his body is a crosswork of poorly healed scars, some overlapping others, while a massive red mark stains the side of his face, as though he’d just splashed blood upon it. He stares at her for a moment with eyes that do not glow with the feral light of Arethren or Crinos, unable to find the words. He hears the truth in her; three heartbeats, two slightly weaker than her own…)
“Adam…”
“It’s true.”
(Gingerly, she rests a hand on her stomach. She feels nothing… and yet…)
“I…I don’t know what to say.”
“Say nothing. Listen… I did not want this for you. I did not want you to become so bound to me that you could never turn away. You do not deserve this…this punishment.”
“Punishment?”
(She takes a step forward and, hesitantly, rests her hand upon a scar that crosses his chest like a slash in leather. She can feel his heart beat beneath her palm; quick, panicked…he’s afraid)
“Adam… it was my decision to find you. My decision to love you. I chose you, don’t you get that? I don’t care about the life I left behind. What was there to look forward to other than a life in my dad’s shadow? You’ve said it yourself; I was never meant for the world of humans.”
“But this life! it isn’t something I want for you! Looking over your shoulder every night, worried that something will find you when I’m not there. I tried to set you free…Now, I’ve shackled you.”
“You did that the day I first laid eyes on you.”
(The Gurahl closes his eyes and draws in a shaky breath)
“Your heart is your own… I will not hold it prisoner.”
“My heart is yours. Now more than ever”
“I…I don’t understand”
“You never have. You’ve been so lost in your hatred that you couldn’t see that your loneliness was self-inflicted… You don’t have to be alone anymore, Yogi…”
(She removes her hand, and rests it once more upon her stomach)
“This isn’t a shackle…they aren’t chains. And you don’t frighten me. This life? Compared to what I’ve seen you accomplish, it’s nothing. I have more faith in you than I think you’ve ever had in yourself.”
(For a moment, the Gurahl is silent, contemplating her words. He has lived for two centuries; an eternity of loneliness broken only by brief periods of senseless violence. He has spent his life alone…)
“Do you…want to talk to them?”
“What?”
“I mean…I doubt they can hear you, but it wouldn’t upset me. Go ahead.”
“You…you would keep them? Care for them?”
“I’ve kept you. I care for you…why not them?”
(Adam looks down, and kneels before her, as though she were a sovereign and he a supplicant. He reaches for her…then hesitates. Without warning, she seizes his wrist and presses his hand against her stomach)
“No more hesitation. No more fear. I’m not scared of you…so stop being scared of me.”
(He is about to reply, when he feels them: twin hearts, no larger than the tips of his claws. He feels them…and feels something in his soul that he has not felt for eighty years)
(Joy)
(He smiles; Samantha has to stop herself from drawing in a gasp. It’s the first full smile she’s ever seen him express. Not a grin, nor a half-hearted imitation, but a smile of sincere joy…and pride)
“Mine…”
“Technically ours… but that’ll do.”
“My heart…my Moon and Star…my little ones…”
(He looks up, into her eyes)
“I love you… all of you.”
(She smiles, and rests one hand upon his head, while the other holds him to her. She says nothing…but in her heart, she is howling with triumph)
(Monster…no longer)

https://andreikeino.github.io/ak-alarm-clock/

AK alarm clock

Features:

Price: Free

Schedule types: Once, Weekly

Alarm can pay sound file

Shows time to next alarm in the main window and alarm settings window

Warns if edited alarm will newer be shown

Shows ads dialog at statrup

Tested on Window 10 and Ubuntu 20.24

Hello fellow narcoleptics!
I'm officially 2 months on Lumryz. For context, I was prescribed Xyrem in 2018, switched to Xywav in (I believe) 2020, and just began Lumryz 2 months ago. I'm going to try my best to be brief as I go over all of my thoughts on it and how it has affected me/how it compares. For reference I take 7.5g packets.
tldr: taste is fine, works faster and for longer, bedwetting biggest symptom, mental state on it improved.

1. Taste

I was warned by my doctor that Because it is like a sand mixture that you mix with water, the experience is pretty gnarly. I will say that the texture is very strange, but if you just swallow it without swishing it around in your mouth, you can kind of get past that. I have always mixed my medication with water mixed with crystal light lemonade mix. I highly recommend this it's super easy and makes the taste much more bearable. But honestly it just tastes salty. Not too bad.

1. Effectiveness

I knew before I started Lumryz that it is very fast acting. Especially compared to the Xywav which, after taking it for so many years, had lost its potency and it would takes HOURS for me to settle down into sleep. My doctor said that Lumryz usually helps people fall asleep within 30 minutes, and because I have a high tolerance, I would probably conk out at just under an hour. The first night that I took it I started to feel extremely heavy within just 30 minutes. I was awake, but HEAVILY impaired, miles beyond what I used to feel on Xywav. I think at around 1 hour 15 mins I was out. Now, at the 2 month mark, I would say it takes 45 minutes to start to feel it, and I fall asleep between one to two hours, depending on how tired I am. so much faster than the Xywav!

1. Side effects (after taking)

First Time
The first week I took Lumryz was crazy. It made my body feel incredibly heavy and I also felt mildly dizzy but not in a nauseating way. The second night I had spilled juice on my floor and got down to wipe it up and fell asleep on the floor in what must have been minutes! I woke up a couple hours early in a crazy delirious state, for a couple seconds LITERALLY having no idea if I was at home or in my dorm room (which I was in). And I am not talking like forgetting for a couple seconds, I literally looked around and saw my dorm room but was convinced it was my bedroom at home and even that I could hear my parents talking down the hall. It was insane. I got into my bed though and went back to sleep and woke up fine.
Bedwetting
The worst side effect of the Lumryz for me (in the beginning) was the bedwetting. Even if I would pee right before taking it, it's like every other night my bladder would just empty (thank god for free laundry at my school...) I asked my doctor and he said that once my body was more used to the medication, I should stop bedwetting so frequently. He was right! After a month the bedwetting had stopped. Im sure that it will happen again someday, as I am sure other people on Xywav/Xyrem and Lumryz would agree with, but it isn't happening so frequently. To anyone switching to Lumryz, I would recommend going to sleep with a maxi pad on for the first couple of weeks.
Dreams
My dreaming has been so strange on Lumryz. It's too much to detail here in this already long post, so I think i'll do a separate post about this because there's a lot to break down.
Hunger and Nausea
My nausea has been about the same being on Lumryz vs Xywav. I have been prescribed Zofran for about as long as i've been on my narcolepsy meds. Next, the hunger. I know all of you Xywav takers know about how insatiably hungry you get on that medication, how you'll break into any nook and cranny, searching for any morsel of food. This was another main reason why I switched to Lumryz. The extreme hunger is definitely not the same as when I was on Xywav. It is not anywhere near as intense. I still get a bit hungry on it though, and this is probably heightened by the fact that I eat dinner at 6 PM and take my medication for sleep at 11 PM. I'm sure that anyone would get hungry after five hours. I would recommend eating a large snack about an hour before. If I'm going to bed with a more full belly, I usually don't get so hungry.
Staying asleep
Not only has Lumryz helped me fall asleep faster, but I also usually stay asleep for longer. For the past week or so, I've been waking up at anytime between 4 and 5 AM, but I'm able to fall asleep again within 30 minutes usually. I think this waking up is exacerbated by consuming food after taking Lumryz. I'm also more likely to fall asleep faster and stay asleep longer if I have gotten physical activity that day. I have MDD, so it's common for me to not do much other than sit around for a whole day. However, when I get exercise, my sleep is so much better.
Mental Health on Lumryz
Another huge negative side effect I would experience while on Xywav was a fucked up mental state. Xywav would amplify suicidal or depressive thoughts for me, and it would be really bad if I was already in a bad mood. Though Lumryz works similarly, I do usually fall asleep much faster so the thoughts don't have time to get too bad. Lumryz usually makes me more confused than suicidal though.
Okay, that's mostly it. Feels free to ask me any questions you want.

Context is that a few months ago, this friend (C) told me that my former friend (D) he is now talking to again, was talking badly behind my back, when at the time I had bailed D out of jail, let her stay at my house, and she was manipulating me into loaning her money and countless rides. D was literally throwing dirt on my name to our other friends about my PTSD symptoms while literally in my loft, that I was letting her stay in for free because she claimed she had nowhere else to go. She moved out but C told me at the time that D was talking badly about me and dropped her as a friend, and I did too. I was happy C dropped her as I don’t want her to be a part of my life at all, but now they are friends again, months later after this all went down. What do I do? Do I keep C as a friend, let him know I'm upset he's friends with someone who betrayed me so much?
TLDR; my friend, D, was staying with me after I bailed her out of jail. My other friend, C, let me know that she was talking badly about me in my own home; and I shortly after kicked her out, and we both dropped her as a friend. Now they are friends, and I feel betrayed my good friend C is now friends with the person he warned me about.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aUOUAr-WvFk
1:37 - Traits of a Narcissist
A narcissist has an insatiable need for admiration, affirmation, and validation, all of which are their drug of narcissistic supply. They believe themselves to be superior and grandiose, they're arrogant, they lack empathy, they're exploitative, they have unreasonable demands of people. These are all traits that are opposite from the traits of Jesus Christ and yet a religious context is often the most optimal place for a narcissist to freely practice their narcissism while appearing virtuous or pious. So I'm going to share with you 10 insights into why narcissists love religion and how they use it to serve their own purposes.
2:22 - Why It's Important to Understand Why Narcissists Love Religion
It's important to understand these things because Jesus warns his followers to beware of false prophets which come to you in sheep's clothing but inwardly they are ravenous wolves. Hopefully these 10 insights will help you hack into whether or not you're dealing with a true follower or true shepherd or minister of Christ or a narcissist who is posing as one of these roles instead of being there to serve.
2:51 - #1 - The Abundance of Narcissistic Supply to be Had
The first reason why narcissists love religion is because of the abundance of narcissistic supply that could be had. It's a reality there is so much narcissistic supply to be had in religious settings. And narcissistic supply, as I mentioned before, is the praise, admiration, validation, honor, sense of significance that a narcissist is addicted to in order to regulate their negative emotions. So a religious context provides an easy platform for a narcissist because they could get access to a stage or a pulpit or a mic or some means to exert influence where they can gain all of that admiration and praise or a sense of superiority where they can present themselves as godly or pious individuals or chosen by God or specially anointed, all of this to gain validation and attention from people. And like I mentioned all of these things are a drug that a narcissist is addicted to and it is what actually feeds them, more than actually being in a relationship with God but to the pure all things are pure so there are many people in church and religious contexts who are honest good-hearted who believe the best about others and so they can be gullible to the narcissists around them who have disguised themselves as pious people for the sake of getting narcissistic supply and this is truly an evil because a narcissist pursuit of narcissistic supply comes at the cost of destroying and stepping on other people without any regard for their welfare.
4:32 - #2 - The Allure of Control and Power
The second reason why narcissists love religion is because of the alert of control and power. Religion offers a structure of beliefs and practices that can be manipulated by narcissists to exert control over others. For example a narcissist may twist and distort doctrines and scriptures to justify their authority and demand obedience from followers they could create God in their own image, which a lot of them do rather than follow and conform themselves to the God of the Bible. This kind of control feeds into the narcissist need for domination and power and it can get to a dangerous point where religious narcissist replaces God with themselves where they subtly over time position themselves as intermediaries between individuals and God. A narcissist might manipulate followers into believing that they alone possess the ability to interpret God's will or to speak on his behalf a narcissist does this whether consciously or unconsciously to elevate themselves to a divine status in the eyes of their followers and they may never say that they are doing this outright because no person would ever accept a human saying that you have to worship them like a god but a narcissist will certainly have structures and systems in place to make this a reality. And a follower or member of that religious context might not even realize what is happening until one day they notice that this narcissist has taken on an increasingly central role in their life and is dictating their decisions and their behaviors as if they were the ultimate authority. If you notice that you might be in a spiritual environment like this or someone you love might be and you're wondering if there's spiritual abuse going on or if it's a cult I put together a checklist to help you assess that situation and you can get access to it by clicking on the link in the description box below it's a really good tool to help you identify if the religious context you're in is toxic or has turned into a cult.
6:47 - #3 - Camouflage for Manipulation
The third reason why narcissists love religion is because it serves as a camouflage for manipulation. Religious contexts serve as a perfect camouflage for narcissist to disguise their true intentions these are places where it's easy for narcissists to cloak their behaviors and demands in spiritual language where they can manipulate and exploit others while appearing righteous and virtuous at the same time. And what better setup could there be for a covert narcissist who can continue acting narcissistic while appearing like a saint in the process there's no other place except churches and ministries and religious environments.
7:29 - #4 - Their ability to exploit certain teachings for personal gain
The fourth reason why narcissists are drawn to religion is because of their ability to exploit certain teachings for personal gain. Many religious communities emphasize principles like forgiveness, redemption, giving a second chance, reconciling, turning the other cheek, submitting to authority, and narcissists exploit these teachings extensively. They may present themselves as repentant as enlightened or they could be demanding forgiveness and reconciliation from others while refusing to cultivate Christ-like virtues within themselves so all this manipulation allows them to continue exploiting others behind this facade of being Godly.
8:15 - #5 - It allows them to Idolize their Self-Image
The fifth reason why narcissists love religion is because it allows them to idolize their self-image. Narcissists often have an inflated sense of self-importance and believe that they are special or unique so religion can offer a platform to reinforce this idealized self-image where they can portray themselves as chosen by God or having special spiritual gifts or insights or anointing.
8:44 - #6 - The Lack of Accountability
The sixth reason why narcissists love religion is because of the lack of accountability. Some denominations or churches or contacts might have more accountability than others but narcissist tend to gravitate towards those religious contexts that don't have much or have very little. Many religious narcissists exploit religious settings because they perceive them to be environments where their behaviors are less likely to be questioned or challenged so this lack of accountability allows them to continue their manipulative tactics without being questioned or challenged.
9:23 - #7 - It Gives Them a Get-Out-of-Jail Free Card from Having to Self-Reflect
The seventh reason why narcissists love religion is because it gives them a get out of jail free card from having to self-reflect. Narcissists typically struggle with self-awareness and introspection so religion offers a way for them to avoid confronting their own wounds or trauma or shortcomings by focusing on outward religious performance or acquiring religious knowledge, all this outward stuff that they can focus on. It's like Jesus saying to the Pharisees they're like these whitewashed tombs; they look beautiful and nice on the outside but inside they're full of dead man's bones. The attraction to religion allows a narcissist to spiritually bypass themselves where they can use all kinds of spiritual language like it's all washed by the blood or things like that to avoid dealing with deeper unresolved trauma within themselves and getting healed from it because there is power in Christ for healing but you have to do the work.
10:26 - #8 - Entitled and Exploit People in those Contexts
The eighth reason why narcissists love religion is is because it's easy for them to be entitled and to exploit people in these contexts in religious settings. Narcissists may feel entitled to special treatment or privileges due to their perceived spiritual status they might exploit others trust and vulnerability for their own personal gain and control. Narcissists may expect people to serve them, like a slave, free of charge. For instance, because they believe that they have a God-like status or they might expect people to hand their wealth over to them or neglect their own families in order to put the narcissist first all in the name of God.
11:09 - #9 - They Can Create a God in Their Own Image
The ninth reason why narcissists love religion is because they can create a God in their own image. Narcissists are not interested in cultivating Godly virtues within themselves as I mentioned before they would rather project their own traits onto God viewing him as judgmental, angry, or traits that resonate more with their narcissistic personality, more than who God actually is. And this kind of behavior allows narcissists to maintain a sense of superiority and justification for their actions.
11:43 - #10 - The Facade of Moral Superiority
The 10th reason why narcissist love religion is the facade of moral superiority religion provides narcissists with this platform to project a false sense of being moral or virtuous or Godly. And they can create this facade by practicing all the religious rituals and portray themselves in a certain way in front of people like this upstanding citizen, but in reality they could be practicing all kinds of dark deeds in private without people knowing hiding their true intentions all with this mask of piety and so that can serve very well for many narcissists and to enable them to continue their dark practices in secret while people are believing that they are this Godly pious person and that is actually a very hypocritical way to live and Jesus actually condemned these kinds of practices because that is what the religious leaders were doing in Biblical times but many narcissists gravitate towards religious settings in order to be able to continue living out this hypocritical lifestyle.
So understanding why narcissists are drawn to religion is really important in order to recognize and address the manipulation that can happen in churches and ministries while many churches and ministries promote cultivating Christ-like qualities. Sadly those same places attract narcissist to them because of opportunities it presents for control and admiration and validation but hopefully by being aware of these dynamics we can hopefully discern between genuine spiritual leaders and those who are using religion to drive their own ego-driven motives. Remember Jesus warned against the false prophets so hopefully by applying these insights we can navigate relationships in churches and ministries and operate with God's wisdom and discernment where we can be as shrewd as a snake and as innocent as a dove.

The VB-MAPP (Verbal Behavior Milestones Assessment and Placement Program) is a pivotal tool in the field of Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA), particularly for assessing and planning interventions for children with autism and other developmental disabilities. Developed by Dr. Mark Sundberg, the VB-MAPP offers a structured approach to evaluating language and social skills, guiding therapists and educators in creating effective, individualized intervention plans. However, the unauthorized distribution and use of VB-MAPP PDFs present significant risks and problems, impacting legal, ethical, and practical aspects of professional practice.

Legal Repercussions

The most immediate and apparent risk of using unauthorized VB-MAPP PDFs is the potential for legal consequences. The VB-MAPP and its associated materials are protected by copyright law, meaning that any reproduction, distribution, or use outside the parameters set by the copyright holder is illegal. Websites offering free or significantly discounted VB-MAPP PDFs are often doing so without authorization, violating copyright laws. Engaging with these materials can lead to legal actions against individuals or organizations, including fines and other penalties. Legal battles not only strain financial resources but also damage reputations, which can be particularly harmful in professional settings.

Ethical Concerns

Beyond legal issues, there are profound ethical concerns associated with the unauthorized use of VB-MAPP PDFs. Professionals in ABA and related fields are bound by ethical standards that emphasize integrity, honesty, and respect for intellectual property. Using or distributing unauthorized materials undermines these ethical standards and sets a poor example for colleagues, clients, and the broader community. Upholding ethical standards is crucial for maintaining trust and credibility in professional practice, and using unauthorized materials compromises this foundation.

Quality and Accuracy Risks

Another critical risk of using unauthorized VB-MAPP PDFs is the potential for inaccuracies and outdated information. Unauthorized copies might not reflect the most current updates and revisions made by the original author and publishers. This can lead to the use of outdated assessment criteria, which in turn affects the accuracy and effectiveness of the assessments and intervention plans developed from them. Accurate assessments are fundamental to effective intervention; hence, relying on potentially flawed or outdated materials can hinder progress and outcomes for children undergoing therapy.

Impact on Development and Support

The unauthorized distribution of VB-MAPP PDFs also undermines the financial support necessary for the ongoing development and improvement of such tools. When materials are illegally shared, the revenue that supports the authors and publishers diminishes. This revenue is essential for conducting research, updating materials, and providing support and training to professionals. By using unauthorized copies, individuals indirectly contribute to the stagnation of important resources that benefit the broader community of practitioners and their clients.

Safeguarding Against Unauthorized Use

To mitigate these risks, it is essential to take proactive steps in ensuring the use of authorized VB-MAPP materials. Professionals should always purchase VB-MAPP assessments and accompanying resources from authorized distributors. This guarantees access to the most accurate and up-to-date versions. Additionally, educating colleagues, clients, and other stakeholders about the importance of using authorized materials helps foster a culture of respect for intellectual property and ethical practice.

Conclusion

The unauthorized use of VB-MAPP PDFs poses significant legal, ethical, and practical risks. By understanding and addressing these risks, professionals can maintain the integrity of their practice, ensure the accuracy and effectiveness of their assessments, and support the continued development of valuable resources like the VB-MAPP. Upholding these standards is essential for providing the highest quality care and support to individuals with autism and other developmental disabilities.

I just read a post about how Eunchae should be protected more, and I could not agree more in that the vitriol towards her has gotten way out of hand.
In that post, I noticed that people kinda brushed passed the controversy of her teasing high school students as a non-issue (which, don't get me wrong, it definitely is), but I'd like to provide some cultural context because it was this specific moment that garnered the most hate for her among Korean kpop stans. Coachella doesn't even come close.
I want to explain why her comments generated so much outrage, and in particular, how her words were taken out of context and purposely made to sound so much worse.
The Situation (and the context)
On a 3/17 Weverse ~11min, Eunchae made a bit of a joke where poked fun at students having to get up early, saying that "That must be hard~ I had to do that too at one point too~~" and the conversation then continues onward with the other members about how difficult it was to get up that early during their student days.
This was combined with another live on 9/07 ~27min (though the context starts a few minutes prior) with Kkura. In it, the two of the discuss conversations with their non-celebrity friends. Boomer Kkura tends to just talk or text, which surprises Eunchae, since she almost always prefers to facetime instead (don't worry Kkura, same). Kkura mentions that the first thing she asks her friends are, "you haven't gotten married yet right?" whereas Eunchae says that her friends have been recently talking about becoming high school seniors. That topic closes with Eunchae talking about a recent conversation she had video call she had with her close friend, who complained that she had to get up early, upon which Eunchae teased her and says, "I start at 11 tomorrow! Hella lucky~"
Maybe a bit of a crass joke in the first clip, but nothing too major, right?
The Attack (and the twisting of facts)
This is where the usual suspects come in: Twitter.
Disclaimer: I'm going to be completely honest here. I don't follow Pann or FMKorea or all the other niche online communities except since the HYBE/MHJ situatio, but while researching this topic, I searched Eunchae's name on both sites to see how the situation unfolded (I can't really search theqoo very well because that site has the worst user-friendliness I've ever seen).
The situation blew up on March 15th (as far back as I can find), with this Twitter post blowing up and a Pann post (now deleted, restored w/ Wayback).
(Note, regarding the deleted Pann post, it was referenced in this YouTube video by one of those trash drama Youtubers and had 150k+ views at the time of their video)
There were also some pretty weird posts on Pann around this time, nitpicking her response in an EASY interview to say she thinks LSF was successful and spreading twitter posts of private documents to prove that she didn't get accepted to Hanlim (I will not be sharing this one.) Many comments at that point on Pann are still quite sympathetic to Eunchae, with the top comments defending her and telling the twitter bitches to go away (although the doxxing post still got 600+ upvotes and 300k+ views)
After this though, the narrative began to change, combining the clips above and turning it from Eunchae teasing students, to Eunchae teasing High School Seniors. And things began to take a huge shift.
After this began to spread, March 23rd, comments started to become more negative (example posts on March 17th and March 23rd).
Alright, I can hear you saying, students, high school students, so what?
Korean Seniors and the Suneung
If you're at all familiar with Korean culture, you know where I'm going with this.
The Suneung is the Korean equivalent of the American SAT, except it is so much more than that. If I had to explain it, the Suneung is your entire life. Imagine your college application, except screw your class grades, your extracurriculars, your letters of rec, your essay. The only thing that really matters is your SAT score.
It is a huge deal. The entire nation BBC article falls silent on the day of the Suneung. Stores close, construction stops, traffic is redirected, the stock market opens late. On the day of the Suneung, there are no flights.
It happens 1 time a year. Just once. If you miss it or get a bad grade, you repeat a year just to get a chance to retake it.
And high school seniors carry all of that stress. They are studying for a test that is the culmination of their entire education and determines their entire future. There are many, many stories of students falling into deep depression, even after doing well on the Suneung, because studying for that test consumed them to the point that they don't know what to do after it's over. These students study in excess of 15 hours a day, from 7am to 10pm.
You do not touch high school seniors, ever. There is a saying that even parents tiptoe around their kids once the test date nears.
Also, keep in mind that the primary demographic for kpop are young adults. People that are in school, preparing for this test that they will eventually have to overcome. Some of those people might be repeating a year (or two or three or four) while studying for that test.
And so, when the narrative shifted from Eunchae teasing a close friend about having to get up early to Eunchae making fun of High School Seniors for having to get up early, things turned ugly quick.
And then Coachella happened. And then MHJ opened her big mouth. And you guys know the rest.
So that's my little story. I hope this provided some insight as to why it seems like the hate for Eunchae seemed so particularly loud on the Korean side, and how she suddenly switched from nearly universally loved to the opposite.
In conclusion, fuck Twitter yo.
P.S. Is this post worth posting on the kpopthoughts subreddit? I'm split because it provides context, but also this has kinda flown by international eyes and I don't really want to accidentally add fuel to the flame. LSF and Eunchae have it hard enough as it is.
P.P.S. Sorry mods, I noticed the other post was removed. If this post breaks the rules, feel free to remove and I'll repost it in the weekly thread or something.

I've always been a pretty easily attached person to others. I've always cared about others and wanted to do the best by them. I would invest too much of myself in them and neglect myself and my health and safety. There are times I would be dependent on a person and based on how they would feel or act would affect my mood. I've realized this is unhealthy and a lot of it is engrained in me because of trauma during my childhood and teenage years.
Back in November I had a fight with a close friend. We had recently started being in contact after her ghosting me and a lot of others in her life for a month. The fight though was because I was heavily dealing with depression and some dark thoughts and had been depending on her to help balance my mood. (I realize now this is very unhealthy, especially with the way I was doing it) I got angry that she didn't reply to a text until after I said forget it (saying forget it about the text I had sent before - I think the day before?) and she responded saying "okay" and then i blew up. She had valid reasons for not responding but I still ending up getting even more upset and unstable. I apologized to her in a text and shit my phone down. I ended up having to go the hospital later that day because of an attempt. I didn't text or call to let her know.
When I got out I told her what happened and we didn't meet until in December in person to talk things through and actually verbally and clearly discuss our boundaries. She told me that there are times she cannot communicate whatsoever and that those times may last for hours, days, weeks, months, or longer. I told her that's understandable and I would be okay with it as long as she just gave me a heads up that she won't be able to communicate in any way and if she could to give me a timeframe. We both came to a compromise of me giving her space and her letting me know when I'm putting too much stress on her and saying when she'll go radio silent.
Flash forward to late February of this year and she can't come celebrate my birthday, which is okay because she had valid reasons and needed rest. I'm bringing this up because it was the last time we actually communicated. She eventually sent a text late March saying she won't be responding "for a while" after I had messaged her asking how she was. I've texted her a few times since then. Sent pictures of my cats and asking how she was. Making sure I never texted more than twice in a month to not pressure her but let her know I care.
However about a week ago I texted her saying that I won't be contacting her first anymore because I'm tired of seeming to be the only one caring. I undergoing through hard times and needed space and isolation, just I expressed my boundary very clearly with her that I would need a warning and if possible a time frame. I explained to her that without a timeframe I would just be anxious until she eventually texted back and she did say she wouldn't "for a while" but it's been months and I'm exhausted about constantly worrying about her and checking to see if she's texted or even read any of my messages.
Idk, I'm just worried I acted too rash in texting her that I won't contact first. I did say that she's welcome to text me when she can and wants, I just don't want to be reaching out and feeling like I'm ignored.
I've talked to my therapist about it before and she believes that if I feel that my boundaries are being ignored then I need to reevaluate my friendship with her. I agree but honestly I'm scared of losing a friend but I'm so tired as well. I know no one is going to make the decision for me and that at the end of the day the decision is up to me, I would just like to get some other people's perspective of it.

Wall of text warning: I was writing a comment on another post but I figured I'd just make my own topic on it with my full thoughts on each faction and their skills, balancing, etc, after about 20 hours of playing (enough to get a decent idea). Personally I don't feel like any particular faction is especially strong currently and I think the balance of the factions is actually pretty decent overall.
Cleaners are the weakest by far (not very far, though) and seem to suffer from some confused design choices. The Firebomb is great for punishing bunched enemies or denying area but this is a ranged game at the core so it often is completely useless on many maps or just makes you vulnerable if you try to use it aggressively, and particularly in mobile modes like Escort where there is high kill turnover and less opportunity for anyone to keep a strong foothold. The Incendiary Drone is decent, does what it should, not a lot to say about it. Strong alternative skill to Firebomb for mobile modes. Their Incendiary Ammo is a bit useless in a vacuum due to the nature of the TTK because most of the time it will not result in a kill you wouldn't have already gotten and it doesn't deal enough damage on its own to really speed up the TTK in any meaningful way. You still have to shoot someone the same number of times to get a kill and if you stop shooting to let the DOT tick instead you'll just die. On top of that, Incendiary Ammo actually reduces your weapon optimal range, and as mentioned before, this is typically a ranged game. The Incendiary Ammo shines more in situations where someone is running away and a teammate can finish them off instead since then it may have done enough damage or canceled their regen enough. It seems as though the Incendiary Ammo might be meant to offer a counter to Libertad's healing-oriented skills but it usually doesn't make a great deal of difference even there. Weirdly, the best weapons for taking advantage of Incendiary Ammo are snipers since it more or less guarantees a kill no matter where you hit someone with the Tac-50 even if it's a leg or arm shot, and guarantees a kill with the M44 in the body, in spite of the "reduced range". Personally the times I've seen Incendiary Ammo end up killing me is right after I had already killed them first anyways, so it was more of a kill guarantee after death than a true advantage in the fight itself. The Cleaners are still playable, just kinda why would you choose them over anything else if you aren't playing them because you like them. Also the Cleaner ultra is ridiculous if you get in a good spot to use it because it instantly kills anyone you hit but again its range makes you vulnerable. The Cleaners biggest strength at the moment seems to be that they have messed up hitboxes, honestly. I think that the Cleaners really need some kind of help on their skills as they are now, they are weirdly situational and difficult to safely employ, but I suppose that is the real philosophy of the Cleaners as it is, they run around with explosive tanks on their backs that instantly kill them in The Division so an exploding flaming firebomber that may or may not live through their skill is oddly appropriate.
Echelon is strong by nature of being a crutch. Intel Suit lets the enemy team know you're nearby and can see them thanks to the notification, smart/skilled players will just listen for you and it's not a huge advantage against them, below average players won't pay attention to it though and it's quite strong against players that don't have good audio or are unaware of where their flanks are. However, the main advantage of the Intel Suit is that it reveals the enemies for your whole team no matter where they are. While you have to be in closer range to detect enemies with it, your teammates can be on the opposite side of the map and still see exactly where the enemy is which is a massive advantage. Digital Ghillie Suit is honestly a pretty balanced skill, someone paying attention will still notice you and Intel Suit counters it (weirdly, same faction counter) but it has a lot of outplay potential and lets you reposition or get into weird spots that the enemy team might not expect if they are distracted. It offers a similar advantage that Phantoms skills do in that it can easily be used to disengage a losing gunfight back into your advantage for a kill instead. Not much wrong with it, it's a well designed skill-expression skill. Echelon passive is kind of whatever, I don't feel like it's a great advantage because it gives you no direct benefit in a gunfight or even while traversing the map most of the time, it's another thing that is strong against unaware or distracted players. The Echelon ultra is of course quite strong in even an average-skilled players hands thanks to real-time wallhacks and a Golden Gun, although the sound it makes and sonar waves effects do put a bit of a target on you and sometimes the OHK gun doesn't actually get a OHK (somehow) but even being guaranteed just 2-3 kills for the duration is still enough to wipe an objective and some players will even try to hide from it. Echelon is overall a strong faction to use against players that are worse than you (likely why it is the most popular faction seemingly at the moment) but it doesn't provide any major meaningful advantage against equal or more skilled players since that will come down to your more practical gunfighting skills instead the majority of the time. Digital Ghillie offers some potential to outplay even skilled opponents but aside from that their skills heavily depend on their opponents being distracted to take advantage of them fully. Given that, the faction is pretty well balanced even with multiple players spamming Intel Suits on one team, since it only offers opportunities, it doesn't exploit them for you.
Phantoms are my personal favorite faction because I feel as though they have the widest degree of skill expression over any of the others. Mag Barrier used smartly can completely turn a lost gunfight around in your favor, especially if there is a choke point or corner you can use to make enemies chase you. Mag Barrier is one of the few skills in the game that is actually a punish skill when you use it correctly by letting an enemy get caught out if they try to ego on you or think they are winning the fight. That's on top of everything else it does. The EMP grenade is only a "counter" to it if someone is mindlessly spamming it because when used correctly you don't have time to throw an EMP grenade. You would have to pre-emptively EMP the Phantom player for every encounter if they use it well and that's not very feasible in a dynamic scenario. That said, Mag Barrier is fairly weak in terms of pure cover and a determined player can chew through it in a few seconds if you carelessly use it without exploiting the advantage it gives, or grenades can be thrown around it, enemies can run through it, its strength comes down entirely to the user. Blitz Shield is also a strong punish skill but currently the way player collision works makes it difficult to use against anyone that is experienced or skilled because no enemy player collision means they can jump through you. You can't really use the shield to turtle 1v1s since enemies can just run through and behind you, even if you're in a corner. Most players won't do this or know it's possible, so it can be a bit of a crutch against less skilled players at least. The Blitz Shield is mainly strong for punishing around corners if someone chases you since you can typically swap to it fast enough to surprise them before they get around the corner. It's also good for absorbing damage at range or aggressively disrupting enemy players on an objective for your team to pick off but that depends a lot on how good your team is and less on the shield itself. Phantoms passive is honestly extremely strong, and IMO the best passive in the game currently. Having 20 more health is massive when 110 damage OHK body shots exist since it allows you to survive hits no other faction can and combined with the other skills it offers retaliation and outplay potential no other faction has. The Phantom ultra is a bit mediocre in terms of kill potential, due to lack of range or mobility, vulnerable to grenades, and various other problems that come with moving slow and telegraphing yourself to the entire map as a giant target. The ultra's primary purpose is of course simply being a big shield to deny area to the enemy team or offer your team a safe place to stand on objectives for pushes. The Phantoms are a well-balanced and strong faction currently that offers a lot to players that know how to take advantage of their skills properly.
Libertad is probably the most well-balanced faction in the game at the moment. It's very straightforward and easy to grasp for players of all skill levels and doesn't depend on a lot of gun skill, map knowledge, or general experience to perform decently. Since none of their skills are directly offensive, they are easy to employ in a variety of situations, like fortifying an objective or pre-emptively giving your teammates an advantage for a push, refreshing a teammate after a close gunfight, using mid-gunfight for a surprise comeback, etc. El Remedio is such a strong heal that it can greatly increase your EHP in a straight gunfight to the point you need multiple extra hits to kill if the enemy misses any shots, and if you manage to break contact with them briefly you can set up the heal on yourself for a surprise punish similar to the Phantom Mag Barrier. It forces the enemy to decide if they try to kill you or break the canister first and assuming you are equally skilled, you will usually end up winning the 1v1. The main downside to El Remedio is its fairly long cooldown so you have to use it smartly or else you won't have it for major moments when your team might have needed it. It's strong and has some skill expression to it in a variety of ways. BioVida Boost is one-time instant version of El Remedio with similar uses, but it works much better with a unified team push and has a shorter cooldown which makes it much more useful for a more mobile style of play. Not only that but its heal is essentially instant, again being very strong if you manage to break contact for a moment in a gunfight to come back with full health before the enemy got their natural regen. Libertad's passive has no strings attached, simply natural regen with no downtime for you and any teammates near you, doesn't require you to do anything and is always active which makes it great for people of all skill levels since it's always being taken advantage of. The Libertad ultra is literally just an even bigger version of El Remedio that also increases your and teammates max HP massively, it can guarantee a last second payload push or let you lock down a critical objective to break out a losing zone match. Libertad is generally the best faction for anyone that's really new or isn't that great at FPS games since it doesn't depend on your technical skill too much aside from simply staying alive to give your team a constant advantage. Another nice thing about Libertad is they synergize incredibly well with the Phantoms' huge health pool. The only outstanding weakness of Libertad is the old classic: your teammates. It has very little potential to actually carry and under focused fire their healing is pretty irrelevant so you're not exactly going to go tank a payload by yourself. Even with the ultra on, a single person can chew through it and kill you if you give them long enough (not very long).
I've not gotten to play around a ton with DedSec yet but my initial impression is that they are very similar to Phantoms in terms of skill expression and offer a ton of flexibility that other factions don't have through being able to hack enemy deployables and regenerating devices. I would not call them imbalanced, but I do think they are the one faction that currently does lean the most into that because they counter every single other faction. Being able to shut off enemy skills and ultras is huge, even if it takes their own ultra to do it. But you are effectively turning everyone on the enemy team into the Rookie from Rainbow Six Siege temporarily while all the players on your team get to keep their skills. If you have multiple DedSec players on your team and properly chain the ultras then you are looking at a free objective push every single time. The Spiderbot is fairly alright, but it's currently bugged and sometimes enemy players can't destroy it properly which makes it stronger than it actually is, and that's on top of it taking more than one hit to kill anyways which I personally think shouldn't be a thing either. In its current state it is basically a guaranteed kill on anyone you hit with it if you use it aggressively, though, and I do think it should be adjusted in some way after they fix the desync issues with it. Hijack isn't always super relevant because at the moment deployables aren't very long-lived or common, but being able to flip a Phantom Mag Barrier is wildly strong and is the only counter play to a choke point punish in that it punishes the punish. Hijack is fairly useless though if the enemy team all happen to pick Echelon or Cleaners (which is a fair possibility). I think the skill is still a good skill expression skill and fine, though. The DedSec passive is unsurprisingly very strong because being able to throw two proximity mines on an objective or get multiple uses of grenades is obviously something no other faction can do and those things are one per life for a reason. The passive doesn't benefit if you don't live long enough to use it, though, so it can be kinda useless depending on the situation: if you never throw your grenade or mine, the passive literally does nothing. DedSec is currently in a very strong state overall, while I wouldn't say it's imbalanced, it's definitely one of the better factions if only for the fact it can shut off every enemy skill and ultra and has a way to essentially guarantee a kill.
If I had to "tier" each faction in terms of their effectiveness in a vacuum regardless of skill, I'd probably rank them (from best to worst): DedSec > Phantoms/Echelon > Libertad > Cleaners. But that is a very shallow slope with all factions being very much viable to play and do well with.
All of this is also given without thought to the current state of weapon balance generally speaking, while I do feel that Phantoms have a particular advantage currently due to the prevalence of Tac-50s. Echelon's Digital Ghillie also helps them get in close to employ some of the better weapons in the game currently like the MP7 or double barrel. DedSec's spiderbot sets them up for kills with all kinds of weapons, particularly the Tac-50. I don't see any of these skills being worse off without the existence of those weapons, however.
If I were to speculate on any adjustments that should be made: Spiderbots need to be fixed ASAP so they always properly appear on the targets screen to destroy them (not really an "adjustment", a bug fix). Libertad needs some kind of light buff in my opinion, maybe a bonus effect on a skill like slightly increasing max HP (good to help deal with prevalence of OHK snipers) or an alternate mode that poisons or debuffs enemies (Viviro would make sense because it's the chemical weapon made by the same company in Far Cry 6). Cleaners need a little bit of help, maybe allow them to also select Molotov cocktails as grenades that make small fire puddles that aren't quite as strong as their skills as a form of area denial to sort of solidify their "stay the fuck away from me" presence as a faction. The big one people talk about is the Intel Suit for Echelon but I honestly don't see much issue with this. The game literally highlights enemies for you already as it is, seeing them through walls briefly isn't a huge stretch when you can already hear people running around anyways since (thank god) we don't have anything like Dead Silence/Ninja/Covert Sneakers in this game. Echelon is a noob stomping faction and that's why it's generally popular right now but I think once more people get access to DedSec we will start to see more of them instead.
Anyways, that's all for today. I do really hope Ubi upkeeps this game well and makes smart balancing decisions that keep the game fun and engaging without oversimplifying or nerfing anything for the sake of salty people. If it were up to me, they'd reduce the TTK to 4 body shots max like original COD4 and then we'd really be cooking (after they fix the netcode, that is). Also hoping for The Division themselves to be introduced as a playable faction with deployable drones or even seeker mines...

Elementor 8th Birthday Sale 2024 (May 28th – June 6th)

The Birthday sale of Elementor is live, just click the button below to claim your discount — they’re offering up to 30% off on their pro plugin and up to 75% off on WordPress hosting.
Get Elementor Birthday Offer
The Elementor Birthday Sale is going on now, and you can get a hefty discount of up to 75% on their page builder WordPress plugin or WordPress hosting.
Just stay with us to find out all about the latest deals and offers as Elementor turns E-I-G-H-T.
Usually, Elementor doesn’t give out coupon codes all the time, but on special occasions like this, they offer special discounts. So make sure you don’t miss out on this fantastic opportunity.
Elementor was started in June 2016 and since then they’ve been offering birthday sales, where you get the chance to save big on their paid plans. This year, they are offering discounts again. If you want to know what birthday offers they have, you came to the right place.
Let’s find out all the details without any further delay.

What is Elementor Birthday Sale?

Elementor Birthday Sale is an annual celebration of the popular WordPress page builder, Elementor. During this sale, users can get discounted pricing on Elementor WordPress hosting + Elementor Pro, which is the paid version of the plugin and includes additional features and functionalities.
It usually takes place around the anniversary of the company’s founding and offers users a chance to save money while using Elementor to build their websites. This year’s birthday sale is LIVE right now, and we have picked out the best deals for you below.

#1. Get up to 75% off Hosting and Builder

Take a look at the special discounts on Elementor Hosting during Elementor’s birthday sale in 2024.
https://preview.redd.it/eibhhknzz93d1.jpg?width=1277&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=497491a95dfe597b139991744d49d101fb702784

#2. Get up to 30% off Elementor Pro Plugin plans

Here are the anniversary discounts available for the Elementor Page Builder plugin (pro version).
https://preview.redd.it/cklr0vp60a3d1.jpg?width=1288&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=cea8eb6d77d3922b5a535f4b5fc46f97bdfa684d

How to Grab the Birthday Deal of Elementor Pro?

To get the special discount for Elementor’s birthday sale in 2024, all you need is to follow these instructions I’m going to tell you. Let’s start.

Step #1: Go to Elementor Website (Click here to jump)

First of all, you need to visit the official Birthday Sale landing page of Elementor, and from there choose what you want to purchase — Elementor hosting or Elementor Pro Plugin.

Step #2: Select your plan

On their Birthday landing page, you’ll see that Elementor is offering up to 30% off its pro plugin and up to 75% off its hosting plans. Here, you just pick your favourite plan that you’d like to go with and hit the Buy Now button.

Step #3: Create an Elementor account for free

You’ll now see your cart showing the plan you chose, and total pricing. The Elementor Birthday sale discount code will automatically be applied to your purchase. From here, you can now proceed to enter your valid email address and password for your Elementor account.

Step #4: Enter your billing info

Now, you have to complete your billing information. It includes your first name, last name, address, city, country, pin code, state, and company name. After filling in all these details, click the continue button.

Step #4: Finish your order

Elementor offers two ways to pay for your purchase. You can choose to pay with your credit card or use your PayPal account. Once you have entered all the necessary information, just click on the “Pay Now” button to complete the payment process.

Step #5: That’s all. Elementor Birthday 2024 Sale is yours…

If you’ve been following our instructions closely, you’ve already gotten the number one Website builder tool. There’s no more step after that.
Remember, this Birthday sale of Elementor is only available for a limited time (expiring on 7th June 2024), so don’t wait too long to take advantage of it.

Elementor Birthday Sale Price for Plugin and Hosting

Elementor has two products:

• WordPress Hosting
• Page Builder WordPress Plugin

Let’s look at each of them one by one and discuss their pricing plans.

Elementor Hosting Plans

Elementor is not just a page builder, but it also provides web hosting for WordPress websites. It’s like getting a package deal because when you buy web hosting from them, you also get the Elementor Pro page builder plugin.
So, if you’re still trying to decide on a web host or if you’re unhappy with your current one, Elementor’s cloud hosting could be a great choice for you.
Here’s how they have reduced the prices of their hosting plans during their special Birthday sale or anniversary celebrations.
https://preview.redd.it/g3l98gic0a3d1.jpg?width=1277&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=822563014987cbb2ba7df06c40cabbc19f4deab3
Click here to snag up to 75% discount on any Elementor WordPress hosting and get page builder and theme for FREE — all in one package.

Elementor Page Builder Plugin Plans

Elementor offers both a free and paid version of its website builder plugin. The cost of the paid version, Elementor Pro, starts at $59/year for a single-site license and goes up to $399/year for a 1000-site license.
Here’s a discounted plan for the Elementor Pro plugin during the Birthday sale.
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They also offer a 30-day money-back guarantee (for both hosting and plugin) so you can try it risk-free.
Click on this exclusive Birthday sale link to choose your favourite Elementor Pro Plan.

Get Your Elementor Birthday Deal 2024

No doubt Elementor is the #1 website builder tool available on the market that helps you make any type of website in less than one hour. They have a visual drag-and-drop editor that lets you easily change things on your website while you’re working on it.
And the best part is, when you make changes, you can see them live right away on your website. It also has ready-made designs and templates that you can use to make your website look professional without much effort. Overall, I would say Elementor is super simple to use and doesn’t require any coding skills.
From May 28th – June 7th, there’s a special sale on Elementor because it’s their birthday. So if you want to try it out, now is a great time. Just click the button below to sign up and get started.
Claim Elementor Birthday Discount Sale
Well, that’s all from this blog post. Now, I want to hear what you think about Elementor and its BIGGEST Birthday offer.
Did you like them (if you ask me, then yes, I especially like their plugin as well as the huge discounts they provide during their birthdays)? Let me know your thoughts in the comments section. Byeeeee…

Frequently Asked Questions – Elementor Anniversary Sale

Is Elementor Birthday Deal live?

Yes, Elementor’s birthday deal 2024 is live! This year they are celebrating their 8th birthday and offering a whopping up to 75% discount on all of their plans. The sale is only for a limited time so make sure to grab this opportunity before it ends.

When is the Elementor Birthday Sale happening?

The Elementor Birthday Sale typically takes place in late May or early June, around the time of Elementor’s official launch date. At the time of writing this article, the Elementor Birthday Sale is live (from 28th May – 7th June), you can check them out from here.

Everything in my inventory is up for trade. The most valuable items are listed here, the rest you can find in My Inventory

Feel free to Add Me or even better send a Trade Offer. Open for any suggestions: upgrades, downgrades / knives, gloves, skins / stickers, patterns, floats.

All Buyouts are listed in cash value.

KNIVES

★ Butterfly Knife Lore (Factory New), B/O: $7194.77

★ Butterfly Knife Autotronic (Minimal Wear), B/O: $2025.74

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★ M9 Bayonet Ultraviolet (Field-Tested), B/O: $557.87

★ M9 Bayonet Stained (Well-Worn), B/O: $529.41

★ M9 Bayonet Boreal Forest (Field-Tested), B/O: $465.39

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★ Talon Knife Doppler (Factory New), B/O: $1295.27

★ Bayonet Tiger Tooth (Minimal Wear), B/O: $746.28

★ Karambit Bright Water (Field-Tested), B/O: $688.15

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★ Flip Knife Doppler (Factory New), B/O: $547.93

★ Flip Knife Autotronic (Minimal Wear), B/O: $476.69

★ Flip Knife Case Hardened (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $278.18

★ Flip Knife Black Laminate (Well-Worn), B/O: $258.83

★ Flip Knife Urban Masked (Field-Tested), B/O: $181.64

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★ Stiletto Knife Marble Fade (Factory New), B/O: $686.04

★ Stiletto Knife Doppler (Factory New), B/O: $665.41

★ Stiletto Knife, B/O: $601.39

★ Stiletto Knife Crimson Web (Field-Tested), B/O: $418.25

★ Stiletto Knife Night Stripe (Field-Tested), B/O: $227.80

★ Stiletto Knife Boreal Forest (Field-Tested), B/O: $194.96

★ Stiletto Knife Safari Mesh (Field-Tested), B/O: $192.79

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★ Nomad Knife Crimson Web (Field-Tested), B/O: $518.11

★ Nomad Knife Scorched (Field-Tested), B/O: $169.78

★ Nomad Knife Forest DDPAT (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $166.88

★ StatTrak™ Nomad Knife Blue Steel (Field-Tested), B/O: $335.79

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★ Skeleton Knife Stained (Well-Worn), B/O: $442.05

★ Skeleton Knife Urban Masked (Minimal Wear), B/O: $426.24

★ Skeleton Knife Boreal Forest (Field-Tested), B/O: $314.03

★ StatTrak™ Skeleton Knife Fade (Minimal Wear), B/O: $2361.28

★ StatTrak™ Skeleton Knife Urban Masked (Field-Tested), B/O: $376.53

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★ Ursus Knife Doppler (Factory New), B/O: $557.12

★ Ursus Knife, B/O: $471.42

★ Ursus Knife Blue Steel (Minimal Wear), B/O: $212.37

★ Ursus Knife Case Hardened (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $187.66

★ Ursus Knife Damascus Steel (Field-Tested), B/O: $178.18

★ Ursus Knife Ultraviolet (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $155.13

★ Ursus Knife Boreal Forest (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $124.26

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★ Huntsman Knife Black Laminate (Minimal Wear), B/O: $204.83

★ Huntsman Knife Black Laminate (Field-Tested), B/O: $184.50

★ StatTrak™ Huntsman Knife Lore (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $224.11

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★ Bowie Knife Gamma Doppler (Factory New), B/O: $2142.02

★ Bowie Knife, B/O: $230.44

★ Bowie Knife Damascus Steel (Factory New), B/O: $209.20

★ Bowie Knife Ultraviolet (Minimal Wear), B/O: $180.51

★ Bowie Knife Ultraviolet (Field-Tested), B/O: $131.03

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★ Falchion Knife Night (Field-Tested), B/O: $132.54

★ Falchion Knife Urban Masked (Well-Worn), B/O: $112.81

★ Falchion Knife Scorched (Field-Tested), B/O: $108.81

★ Falchion Knife Forest DDPAT (Field-Tested), B/O: $107.82

★ Falchion Knife Safari Mesh (Field-Tested), B/O: $107.46

★ StatTrak™ Falchion Knife Ultraviolet (Field-Tested), B/O: $143.08

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★ Paracord Knife Crimson Web (Minimal Wear), B/O: $486.48

★ Paracord Knife Blue Steel (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $163.12

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★ Survival Knife Blue Steel (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $138.26

★ Survival Knife Night Stripe (Field-Tested), B/O: $131.03

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★ Gut Knife Sapphire (Minimal Wear), B/O: $1127.79

★ Gut Knife Gamma Doppler (Factory New), B/O: $286.17

★ Gut Knife Doppler (Factory New), B/O: $246.55

★ Gut Knife Marble Fade (Factory New), B/O: $240.77

★ Gut Knife, B/O: $210.49

★ Gut Knife Lore (Field-Tested), B/O: $194.22

★ Gut Knife Case Hardened (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $151.51

★ Gut Knife Blue Steel (Minimal Wear), B/O: $124.94

★ Gut Knife Rust Coat (Well-Worn), B/O: $118.99

★ Gut Knife Boreal Forest (Minimal Wear), B/O: $109.80

★ StatTrak™ Gut Knife Doppler (Factory New), B/O: $237.96

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★ Shadow Daggers Gamma Doppler (Factory New), B/O: $264.92

★ Shadow Daggers Marble Fade (Factory New), B/O: $253.03

★ Shadow Daggers Tiger Tooth (Factory New), B/O: $237.22

★ Shadow Daggers Crimson Web (Field-Tested), B/O: $153.40

★ Shadow Daggers Autotronic (Minimal Wear), B/O: $144.42

★ Shadow Daggers Blue Steel (Field-Tested), B/O: $105.20

★ StatTrak™ Shadow Daggers Damascus Steel (Minimal Wear), B/O: $150.46

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★ Navaja Knife Fade (Factory New), B/O: $365.99

★ Navaja Knife Doppler (Factory New), B/O: $228.93

★ Navaja Knife Marble Fade (Factory New), B/O: $227.43

★ Navaja Knife Slaughter (Factory New), B/O: $209.06

★ Navaja Knife, B/O: $203.16

★ Navaja Knife Case Hardened (Well-Worn), B/O: $132.57

★ Navaja Knife Damascus Steel (Factory New), B/O: $121.69

★ Navaja Knife Damascus Steel (Minimal Wear), B/O: $109.95

★ Navaja Knife Damascus Steel (Field-Tested), B/O: $100.41

★ StatTrak™ Navaja Knife Fade (Factory New), B/O: $369.01

★ StatTrak™ Navaja Knife Damascus Steel (Field-Tested), B/O: $109.95

GLOVES

★ Sport Gloves Amphibious (Minimal Wear), B/O: $2394.67

★ Sport Gloves Omega (Well-Worn), B/O: $572.33

★ Sport Gloves Bronze Morph (Minimal Wear), B/O: $338.88

★ Sport Gloves Big Game (Field-Tested), B/O: $323.66

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★ Specialist Gloves Marble Fade (Minimal Wear), B/O: $1652.07

★ Specialist Gloves Tiger Strike (Field-Tested), B/O: $599.14

★ Specialist Gloves Crimson Web (Well-Worn), B/O: $231.57

★ Specialist Gloves Buckshot (Minimal Wear), B/O: $126.21

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★ Moto Gloves POW! (Minimal Wear), B/O: $996.99

★ Moto Gloves POW! (Field-Tested), B/O: $383.31

★ Moto Gloves POW! (Well-Worn), B/O: $276.00

★ Moto Gloves Turtle (Field-Tested), B/O: $180.28

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★ Hand Wraps CAUTION! (Minimal Wear), B/O: $502.29

★ Hand Wraps Giraffe (Minimal Wear), B/O: $180.73

★ Hand Wraps CAUTION! (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $178.32

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★ Driver Gloves Queen Jaguar (Minimal Wear), B/O: $181.01

★ Driver Gloves Rezan the Red (Field-Tested), B/O: $101.66

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★ Broken Fang Gloves Jade (Field-Tested), B/O: $127.88

★ Broken Fang Gloves Needle Point (Minimal Wear), B/O: $124.55

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★ Bloodhound Gloves Guerrilla (Minimal Wear), B/O: $127.94

★ Hydra Gloves Case Hardened (Field-Tested), B/O: $102.55

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AK-47 X-Ray (Well-Worn), B/O: $478.95

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StatTrak™ M4A4 Temukau (Minimal Wear), B/O: $174.64

P90 Run and Hide (Field-Tested), B/O: $167.03

AWP Asiimov (Field-Tested), B/O: $153.33

Souvenir SSG 08 Death Strike (Minimal Wear), B/O: $140.00

M4A1-S Printstream (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $124.70

StatTrak™ M4A1-S Golden Coil (Field-Tested), B/O: $117.48

AWP Asiimov (Well-Worn), B/O: $115.97

StatTrak™ Desert Eagle Printstream (Minimal Wear), B/O: $112.96

StatTrak™ AK-47 Asiimov (Minimal Wear), B/O: $110.85

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AK-47 Bloodsport (Minimal Wear), B/O: $100.53

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P90 (ScaraB Rush, Neoqueen, Astral Jörmungandr, Run and Hide, Emerald Dragon, Cold Blooded, Death by Kitty, Baroque Red, Vent Rush, Blind Spot, Asiimov, Trigon, Sunset Lily, Death Grip, Leather, Nostalgia, Fallout Warning, Tiger Pit, Schermatic, Virus, Shapewood, Glacier Mesh, Shallow Grave, Chopper, Desert Warfare), MAC-10 (Sakkaku, Hot Snakes, Copper Borre, Red Filigree, Gold Brick, Graven, Case Hardened, Stalker, Amber Fade, Neon Rider, Tatter, Curse, Propaganda, Nuclear Garden, Disco Tech, Toybox, Heat, Indigo), UMP-45 (Wild Child, Fade, Blaze, Day Lily, Minotaur's Labyrinth, Crime Scene, Caramel, Bone Pile, Momentum, Primal Saber), MP7 (Teal Blossom, Fade, Nemesis, Whiteout, Asterion, Bloosport, Abyssal Apparition, Full Stop, Special Delivery, Neon Ply, Asterion, Ocean Foam, Powercore, Scorched, Impire), PP-Bizon (Modern Hunter, Rust Coat, Forest Leaves, Antique, High Roller, Blue Streak, Seabird, Judgement of Anubis, Bamboo Print, Embargo, Chemical Green, Coblat Halftone, Fuel Rod, Photic Zone, Irradiated Alert, Carbon Fiber), MP9 (Featherweight, Wild Lily, Pandora's Box, Stained Glass, Bulldozer, Dark Age, Hot Rod, Hypnotic, Hydra, Rose Iron, Music Box, Setting Sun, Food Chain, Airlock, Mount Fuji, Starlight Protector, Ruby Poison Dart, Deadly Poison), MP5-SD (Liquidation, Oxide Oasis, Phosphor, Nitro, Agent, Autumn Twilly), Shotguns, Machineguns - 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It never really dawned on me until now. I thought dv relationships only involved physical violence. I ignored the reality of sexual and verbal abuse playing a role. My exes have slandered my name, stalked me, inflicted acts of abuse by proxy, assaulted me, verbally abuse me, and will turn around, smile in my face and tell me they love me.
I've lost so much of myself to this type of abuse. I've seen so little justice. One, just one of them ever went to prison. All the rest are home free. Due to the isms of my society, I can't even press charges. Most will use my past against me anyway. They will say I'm crazy, on drugs, and unreliable. That I just feel regret. This had happened and the police in the community literally supported this and was kicked out of my home as children that lived their referred to me by slurs.
This has happened continuously. I have no idea some days where to go from here or where I belong. I don't know why I'm still here even or what's the point. Where do survivors like me even exist in this world? Can I even be loved? Do I hold any value beyond someone's play thing? Will the abuse I've suffered continue to repeat?
Then the guilt of it all and shame is so unbearable. It hurts my mind and drives the vulnerable bits closer to madness. Because how do you even begin to reconcile with vetting someone who abuses you while his family has dinner in the next room? How do you make peace with the fact your own family doesn't believe you? Or your mom allowed it to happen because, "she didn't know how to protect me?" But had no issue calling everything but a child of God and never admitting to the abuse she knew I was experiencing!
Sorry I am rambling and will stop. Just deep realization of how insidious and how far DV relationships go. And the scars that they leave long-after the abuse has stopped.

Demographics

• Gender: Female
• Race/Ethnicity: Mixed (Asian, White, Black)
• Residence: Virginia
• Income Bracket: <$70,000 (Negative SAI)
• Type of School: Public
• Hooks (Recruited Athlete, URM, First-Gen, Geographic, Legacy, etc.): URM

Intended Major(s): Creative Technologies (Animation)
Academics

• GPA (UW/W): 4.0 / 4.1952
• Rank (or percentile): 6/378 (Not submitted)
• # of Honors/AP/IB/Dual Enrollment/etc.: 2 Honors (only 2 offered), 7 AP (Human Geo, Lang, Stats, US History, Chem, Gov, and Art), 1 Dual Enrollment (English 111 and 112)
• Senior Year Course Load: AP Chem, AP Gov, Dual Enrollment English, AP Art, Japanese 1, Digital Art

Standardized Testing

• SAT I: 1200 (620 RW, 580 M)
• ACT: N/A
• SAT II: 1300 (630 RW, 670 M)
• AP/IB: Human Geo (5), Stats (4), US History (3), English Lang (2)
• Other (ex. IELTS, TOEFL, etc.): N/A

Extracurriculars/Activities

1. Community Service: Volunteer, Society of St. Vincent de Paul (10th, 11th, 12th; Year-long; 2 hours/week, 24 weeks/year) I packed bags for my church's food pantry a couple times a month.
2. Work (Paid): Part-Time Health and Beauty Clerk, Harris Teeter (12th; Year-long; 21 hours/week, 40 weeks/year) I worked a couple days a week during the summer and weekends during school year.
3. Academic: Active Member, National Honor Society, Leadership: Oversaw Fundraising Event (11th, 12th; School-year; 3 hours/week, 15 weeks/year) I attended monthly meetings and joined fundraising, peer tutoring, and teachestaff appreciation committees.
4. Work (Paid): Part-Time Frozen and Dairy Clerk, Harris Teeter (11th; Break; 18 hours/week, 12 weeks/year)
5. Art: Student, Pre-College Summer Course, The Art Institutes (12th; Break; 20 hours/week, 2 weeks/year) I took an 2-week online animation class where I learned animation principles and used Adobe Photoshop and Animate to create a 2D animated short film.
6. Religious: Eucharistic Minister, Church (11th, 12th; Year-long; 1houweek, 15 weeks/year) I volunteer for my church by serving communion during mass at least once a month
7. Athletics: Club Volleyball, Member of Youth HS Competitive Team, Achievement: Won a League Championship (10th; School-year; 6 hours/week, 25 weeks/year) I attended practices twice a week and played two games every weekend.
8. Other Club/Activity: Member, Film Club (9th, 10th; School-year; 2 hours/week, 20 weeks/year) I went to weekly meetings to discuss filmmaking and made individual short films outside of meetings to present weekly.
9. Community Service: VolunteeLeader, Vacation Bible School, Church, Leadership: Managed Arts & Crafts Station (12th; Break; 12 hours/week, 1 week/year) I helped set up and clean crafts station. I managed younger children and helped them when needed.
10. N/A

Awards/Honors

1. QuestBridge National College Match Finalist (National; 12th)
2. National African American Recognition Award (National; 12th)
3. Principal's List (School; 9th, 10th, 11th, 12th)
4. AP Scholar Award (National; 12th)
5. Student of the Year (School; 9th, 10th, 11th)

Letters of Recommendation

• Guidance Counselor (?/10): I didn't meet with him a lot so he doesn't know me too well, but it seemed like I stood out to him because of how well I always do. I never saw his LOR, so idk how good it was, but I'm sure it was good.
• AP Statistics Teacher (10/10): junior year teacher; I always had an A in his class but didn't talk much. He was kinda awkward so I avoided talking to him lol, but his LOR was actually really good. He said that he wanted his daughter to grow up to be like me!
• AP US History Teacher (8/10): junior year teacher; I always had an A in his class but never talked either. His LOR wasn't bad but he basically rewrote the resume I sent him
• Art Teacher (9/10): teacher during sophomore and senior years; she chose to enter one of my pieces in a local art show and I won an award. She kinda overhyped me but it was good nonetheless.

Interviews
N/A
Essays
I think I spent about a month on my essay, but I can't remember. I felt like my essay was pretty good, but I thought it might be controversial depending on the reader so I was a little nervous. I'm not that good of a writer, but I think the content made up for it. I basically talked about my experience growing up mixed race and how I won't let race define me. I thought it might be problematic because I said a black girl was being racist to me by mentioning how a black girl once told me I only got straight A's because I was "white" and that I realized that some people use race as an excuse for their failures. I said that I thought it was sad she was raised to think that way and ended by saying I wouldn't let my race dictate what I should like or how I should behave and that I would decide for myself rather than following others.
Decisions (indicate ED/EA/REA/SCEA/RD)
Acceptances:

• Virginia Polytechnic Institute and State University (Virginia Tech)!!! (EA) - Presidential Scholarship Initiative Recipient (approx. $17,000 per year to cover rest of tuition and room and board)
• Virginia Commonwealth University (EA) - Virginia Merit Award Recipient ($4,000 per year)
• Longwood University (EA) - Presidential Scholarship Recipient ($8,000 per year)

Waitlists:

• N/A

Rejections:

• University of Southern California (ED through QuestBridge)

Additional Information:
Let me just start by saying that I'm extremely grateful for how things have worked out for me. I feel so lucky and fortunate to be in the situation I am. I know I had my GPA and low income going for me, but I got so much more than I ever expected and I still can't believe this is actually happening!! QuestBridge didn't work out, but I still ended up getting what I was looking for: a way to go to college without taking out loans.
So to explain me being able to "go to Virginia Tech for Free," I have multiple sources that are paying for my first year; I didn't just get a full ride from VT (although it basically is when combined with everything else). I got about $15,500 in govt. grants, the scholarship from VT to cover the rest of tuition and room and board which is about $17,000 this year, and $12,000 in outside scholarships. And that's way over the COA, so I don't have to worry about paying anything!! Now I can follow my dreams of being an animator at my dream school without worrying about how to pay for it!!!

i'm working on a novel and would like to know if anyone could tell me any improvements i could make to the first chapter and prologue
Prologue
The day had started the same way it had for the past two years. The only difference was that I was going home. The hallway was crowded with people walking to and from their classes. Everyone was crowded next to each other so the halls were making the area feel claustrophobic. All the people talking mixed with the summer heat made me feel like I was locked in a sauna. I walked with Preston to the last class we would ever have together and as usual he was smiling. I never got why he always smiled even in situations where people should be sad he still smiled. He knew what today meant for me and he tried to keep light of the situation. I kept my head down away from what was ahead of me. My mind was too clouded about returning to see my family to notice anything in front of me. I walked into another student. It felt like I had walked into a wall. I knew immediately I had walked into tree. I stumble onto the ground and the commotion around me slows down to make room for us. He turned his bulky body around and apologized profusely without saying a word even though I had walked into him. He helped me off of the ground before hurrying down the hall.
“Alexandria, are you doing okay?” Preston said he had tilted his body downward so I had to look down to look him in his eyes. The way he was standing made him look like an idiot but he didn't seem to care. The way he acted made me laugh, which caused his smile to widen.
“I'm doing fine, just got lost in my head.”
“Thinking about how you’ll leave soon,” he said
“Was it that obvious?” He was the only person I told about me being an exchange student. I came to spend high school in Newkinawa and he was the only person I ever hung out with.
“I see what you mean,” he said “Newkinawa is a beautiful place with beautiful people to live in it…myself included”
“You wish,” I say with a smile we continue walking through the hallway “I'm just not excited to go back yet”
After I say that his smile grows wider “So you will miss me after all”
“I wouldn't say that much” I responded whilst smiling.
We had made it to our last class only to see it closed with a sign labeled “Uma incident” Uma was a student known for messing with the chemistry lab and destroying school property in the process. I've never actually met her but Preston says “She's a little weird but still nice”
“Guess class is canceled for today,” Preston remarked with a smile “Wanna go out to the court till the bell rings.”
“Sure let's go” I respond
The place we ate every day was outside. It used to be a tennis court before I moved in. Now they put trees and flowers all over the place. Preston really liked the blue color of the flowers but it just never clicked for me. I look over at Preston and he's staring up at the sky. There are a number of clouds in almost enough to block the sun but it still pokes its rays through and lands on Preston's face. The clouds swim in front of the sun till they block out the sun's light. Preston faces towards me.
“I'm gonna miss you Alexandria” he says
“You know you can just call me Alex,” I replied. I start to smile again. “I'll miss you too!" He smiles toward me again as we get up to leave as the clouds start to clump together and rain slowly falls. As we're walking back to the school there's a loud tearing sound followed by screams as the ground shakes.
The ground tears itself apart as the dirt and stone erupt from the ground. The sky blackens and a pale blue light escapes the earth. Then creatures erupt from the ground in a violent ejection from the earth creating a white pillar diffusing as they reach higher in the air. Some are clawing their way out of the cracks like maggots out of a corpse. People are swept into the updraft screaming for their lives.
The creatures descend like a tidal wave and tear apart any people caught in their path. They storm out of the crack in hundreds as more cracks in the earth form. Me and Preston started running away as people were screaming behind us. A girl running next to us has her legs slashed by a creature. The monster begins to tear open her chest as she chokes on her own blood. The monster shovels her lungs and innards into its decrepit mouth. Me and Preston keep running until we're met at the entrance of the school and we catch the attention of a monster as it begins to savagely rush toward us. The monster resembles ghosts my father told me about. But this one looks monstrously horrific. It floats in the air and opens its mouth so wide it nearly replaces its entire torso; its jaws hold savage teeth each the same old gray color of its body. Its eyes glow a rotten yellow color through the dark. It stretches out its arms showing its giant hands and claws like fingers. It swipes at us leaving a giant claw mark on the door behind us but Preston ducks my body down to avoid the attack. We run around it as the monster swaps its focus to another bystander. Screaming past us. Me and Preston run into the parking lot as people scream around us. We hide next to a car.
“What the hell is happening!?” I yell to Preston. More of the creatures fly over us and swoop down to people like vultures on roadkill devouring the fleeing people.
Preston starts to breathe heavily ”we need to get out of here and someplace safer”. As we were talking one of the monster phases through the car we were hiding next to forcing us to run into the street.
“Lets go to your house till things cool down” i say to Preston through panted breaths
“Wait couldn't we head to your house instead” Preston says.
“Why would that matter your house is closer anyways” i respond
“But-” Preston is interrupted by two creatures swooping above us to grab another person. The two monsters begin to pull the person apart while he writhes in pain before having his flesh be torn in half and having his organs be devoured.
“Come on lets go!!” I say as I grab his hand and run even faster.
By the time we reach Preston's house any living person is gone. On the street are just corpses laying torn and mutilated on the roads and sidewalk. The air in the neighborhood feels cold despite the season being summer. When I walk down the street I can still hear the occasional horrific wail the monsters give off. We move closer to Preston's house and I can see him sweating. He looked more worried than before when the creatures were chasing us and he kept darting his eyes away from his home.
“Preston, are you feeling okay?” he doesn't respond to my question and keeps darting his eyes. He walks slowly behind me and as I reach for the door handle and when I touch it it feels nearly freezing. I wrap my hoodie around my hand and slowly open the door. The house is quiet so me and Preston creep further into his house. The inside is cold and damp as if we were locked in a freezer. The further we move into the house the louder a subtle chewing sound is heard.
“It sounds like rats are eating a dead cow over there” I whisper. Preston continues to stay silent behind me. We slowly walk closer towards the kitchen and the sound gets louder and louder and louder until we reach the room.
We're met with a rancid smell of vomit and blood. My blood starts to run cold and every instinct in my body is telling me to run. I can feel Preston breathing get heavier as we get closer. We turn the corner and see Preston's mom lying on the ground dead with one of the creatures hunched over slurping her intestines. The sight causes me to vomit alerting the monster to our presence. The creature turns around and its mouth turns into a mortifying grin as it flies into Preston's moms body. The corpse begins to rise and spur splashing blood over the kitchen. When the corpse stops spasming it picks itself up from the ground and with glazed over eyes it holds its intestines in its hand and gives us the same grin it did when it was outside her body. The possessed corpse lunges at me and starts to chase me around the kitchen. The body is running into the walls and cabinets spraying its blood and other loose organs around the area as I'm avoiding its assault. The corpse leans over and ejects one of its loose intestines towards me, wrapping me in it. It pulls me towards it so fast I'm flung towards the ground. The corpse limbers over to me and raises its free hand aiming for my head. The creature's deranged smile causes the corpse’s cheeks to tear apart. It places both of its bloodied and demented hands on my face and starts to press my skull into the ground. I struggle to breathe. The room starts to get dark and blood escapes my head.
Until Preston jumps on top of his mothers corpse with a kitchen knife and repeatedly stabs it in the head. The possessed body tries to shake him off but he keeps stabbing, blood gets in on his face and tears start to escape his eyes. The creature violently ejects from the corpse's mouth causing her head to nearly explode and Preston stops stabbing the body. The body falls over in a splash of blood and organs. The monster leaves phasing through the roof leaving Preston crying over his mother's body. As the blood mixes with the tears he collapses to his knees crying. I walk over and hug him as the air around us turns bitter and the chill of death leaves the room and us with it.
Chapter 1 Eclipse
It's been 2 months since the apocalypse started. We've kept ourselves alive by looting grocery stores and houses, we hide from the creatures as we have no way to fight back against them. Preston came up with the idea to call them glanter’s. He’s looking better since we left his family home but I can tell something is wrong with him that he's not telling me. Everytime I ask him about it he tells me it's no big deal. I asked him earlier today and he just told me
“don't worry about it, I'm over it” without even looking at me. Now we're walking through the street and I'm walking behind Preston, I can barely see his head past the giant bag we're both carrying on our backs we use to carry supplies. I look up at the sky and it's still pitch black except for the moon giving us any amount of light. Preston turns around to face me.
“Let's check out that house, it might have some cool stuff in it” he points to a white house to our right. The house is a two story building with steps leading to the front door. There's a generator poking out from the backyard. The driveway is empty save for a couple of dried blood stains and tire marks. It's similar to the other houses in the neighborhood except for a couple broken windows.
“Sure why not” We head over to the house and I see something shining on the side of the house in the corner of my eye. I turn my head to look at it closer but it quickly disappears before I can see it clearly.
“Probably squirrel or something” I mumble to myself. Preston walks up the stairs to the house and I walk up the steps behind him as a breeze blows past my face. Preston tries to turn the door knob but the door is locked. I start to pull out a lockpick I grabbed at the store earlier. I motion towards Preston to move out of the way as I kneel down to pick the lock. It takes me a couple of minutes to unlock the door so I walk inside the house and Preston follows behind me while closing and locking the door. The doorway of the house leads to a dark room so I take a flashlight out of my bag to illuminate the area. Were put into the living room and bookshelves are on the walls and a large TV sat in front of a large black couch with smaller chairs surrounding it. Dust is covering every surface of the room and spiderwebs litter the corners of the walls. The area smells like moth balls and there's a lack of blood anywhere nearby.
“Guess the owners got out before the Glanter’s got in, '' I say to Preston. When he doesn't respond I turn around and he's already looking further into the house. When I find him he's managed to find a flight of stairs that lead to a lower portion of the house.
“I'll check on him later,” I think to myself as I headed towards the kitchen to see if we could restock on food. I walk past a bedroom and remark on how childish it looked. The walls were painted with blue and green stripes and a bunk bed sat on the right wall. There's a chest at the foot of the bed so I walk over and lift the top off of it. The box is layered with children's toys, a multitude of dolls, bears, and figures all jut out of the box. I notice a small robot toy and inspect it in my hands.
The cold metal makes my hand shiver and the sharp body shape makes the robot bigger than my hand. There's red lining around the robot's buttons surrounded by the cold gray of the robot's “skin”. It reminds me of a toy my little brother had. My heart feels heavy as I worry about what happened to my family. If they're alive, dead, or worse…possessed. The thoughts send a chill down my spine but I push them aside for now. I put the toy in my bag and exit the bedroom.
I can see the kitchen is down the hallway so I walk down the hall and enter. The kitchen is pretty clean except for a couple of dishes in the sink and the dust. There's a table seated for 3 people in the center of the room. I start opening the cabinets in search for any food or water. There's boxes of cereal leftover on top of shelves and a mix of chip bags and cookies in neat boxes stationed in the cabinets.
“Score,” I say to myself as I begin to put the snacks into my bag. When the cabinets are empty I look inside the fridge. The inside of the fridge ran out of power so most of the food inside is rotted. There are a couple of bottles of water in the front so I shove those in my bag. There's also a bag of oranges that still seem to be healthy in the back. I grab them and toss them on the table. There's rotten sandwich meat hidden in the drawer of the fridge.it smells like a dumpster outside of a butcher shop. I wrinkle my nose at the smell. I look around the kitchen for any bread with no luck.
I continue to look through the fridge until I hear Preston scream from another room. Immediately I bolt out of the kitchen leaving my bag behind and run towards the lower part of the house. I run down the stairs and nearly trip on the steps. The stairs lead to a big room. There are posters to tv shows and movies I don't recognize. The walls are painted black and there's a bear skin rug on the floor. I notice Preston standing next to a really big TV hyperventilating. I walk over to him and ask him.
“Are you ok? What happened?”
He talks through deep breaths “I… saw a… spider.”
“What?!” I respond in confusion.
“It was really big and I had jumped at my face”
“Sure it was.” I say while laughing “Let's go upstairs there's some food in the fridge we can eat”
“Wait, I think you should check this out.” He says while pointing towards one of the walls. I grab Preston's flashlight off the floor and face it towards the wall. Hanging halfway off the wall is a large map labeled Newkiwana scavenger hunt of 76.
“I think we should take it,” Preston says “You can read a map right?”
“A little but I'm not the best at it,” I say to him “can you read a map?”
“it shouldn’t be too hard it’s mainly pictures any way I'm sure I can figure it out”
I walk over to the wall where the map is hung there are trophies covering tables and shelved in their own personal cases one of them reads “1st place 100-meter swimming competition for 1986 Zack Hemmingway” and another one reads “2nd place 100-meter swimming competition for 1989 Zack Hemmingway”
“Guess this guy really liked swimming,” Preston remarks while staring at a wall of newspaper clippings. All of them are about the same person in swimming competitions. All labeled different things like “a new record for Zack “the dolphin” Hemmingway”,
‘Zach Hemmingway our star plans for the future” all the newspapers are about this kind he has paler skin and a bulky enough build to swim pretty well. Most of the pictures have him coming out of the water in a pool, his long black hair soaked and sitting at his shoulders. Another one has him sitting at a desk over a pile of books and his hair in a knot , “vicious wipeout ends the Dolphins career”, and “ex-swim champ Zack Hemmingway found in a drunken stupor outside strip club.
“Everyone has their own hobbies I guess,” I say as I take the map off of the wall and fold it up. “Sucks what happened to Zack though” I walked over to Preston’s bag and put the rolled map in one of the pockets. I walk back up the stairs and Preston grabs his bag and follows behind me.
We make our way towards the kitchen and Preston starts looking through the fridge for anything to eat. I grab an orange from the table and throw it at his head. The fruit bounces off his head and rolls on the floor. He turns around and grabs the fruit from the floor
“Why did you throw an orange at me?”
“It's the only food we have unless you plan on eating spoiled a sandwich“ He starts to peel it while walking towards the table. We both take a seat and start to eat the oranges from the bag. He plants his feet on top of the table and bites into the fully peeled orange. I grab a water bottle from a bag and start to drink from it as Preston says.
“I saw a dvd player in that man cave downstairs we could watch a movie if it still has power”
“Sure it could be fun.” Me and Preston spend the rest of our time eating until the bag of oranges is emptied and we head back downstairs. Preston grabs the DVD player from under the table and blows the dust off the top of it; he plugs it into the wall as I plop myself onto the couch. He plugs the DVD player into the TV and sits on the recliner next to me. He presses a few buttons on the remote and the TV lights up. I squint my eyes at how bright it is. It's the most amount of light I've seen that didn't come from a flashlight. I notice there's a box filled with DVDs. I pull the box over towards me. I ruffle through the box and see movies like Silence of the Lambs, Terminator 2, and Home alone.
“Dude some of these came out just before the world turned inside out” I say to him.
“Really? Let's play one.” He responds. I toss him Terminator 2 and he puts it into the DVD player.
We spend the next couple hours watching movies and laughing together. It's some of our only moments of peace we’ve had since the end of the world and to me it's the most fun I've had yet. We're putting in the next DVD when there's a loud crash outside and the TV shuts off. Preston goes behind it to see if it's still plugged in.
“I think the generator outside is busted” i say
“It seems that way” Preston replies while backing away from the tv” i'm gonna go check it out”
“Don't worry I got it” I say as I hop out of my chair. Preston waves goodbye as I head up the stairs. I make my way back through the hallway leading to the living room and front door. I reach the door and start to turn the knob. I open the door wide as a car speeds down the street. I step out of the door to see what had happened when I hear the screech of a glanter. It cuts through the sky like an unholy opera singer. A group of them fly by and chase the car as I rush back inside the house. I slam the door shut and look through the window as I see a couple of smaller glanters grab and shake the car violently looking for the driver. They tear at it, ripping off doors and breaking the windows. The driver screams as the seats cover with blood and he's ripped out of the car as multiple smaller glanters tear and bite off parts of his body like piranha's until his body is completely devoured. I run back to the man cave to warn Preston about what had happened. I spot him laying in his chair spinning a DVD disc on his finger.
“It's not safe outside right now”
“Why not?
“There's glanter's outside, they just ate a dude in his car”
“Did they see you come inside?”
“I don't think so , they flew off before I went inside.”
“well we're not dead so I'm gonna say they didn't see you. But let's stay here for a couple more hours just to be safe”
“Sounds good i'm gonna go find the master bedroom.” I start to walk back up the stairs to the house
“ Hold on why do you get the master bedroom” Preston says while walking after me.
“Because I'm gonna find it first” I say as I start to run to find the bedroom. He chases after me in pursuit of the bedroom. Me and Preston run around the house looking for the master bedroom. We look through room after room finding closets, the garage, a bathroom and a door leading to a balcony in the back of the house. I manage to run into the bedroom and yell out to Preston.``Found it!!”
He comes walking into the room breathing heavily from the running. We both check out the room. The walls are painted a cream yellow and the bed takes up most of the room's center. The bed has burgundy sheets poking out from its bottom and a quilt with multi-colored floral designs lay sprawled out on top of it. There's a wardrobe built into the wall and a black leather couch sits comfortably on the left wall.
“Dibs on the bed” I say as I jump on top of it. I stretch out on top of the quilt and search for a comfortable part to sleep in.
“Where am I supposed to sleep then?” Preston complains
“You can sleep on the couch it looks soft enough” I respond while pointing towards the couch “I saw some spare blankets in one of the closets”
“Alright i’ll be right back” he mumbles to himself “why do i always get the couch”
“ I'll be right here if you need me,” i call after him. I sit up on the bed and start to look around the room more. I notice the entrance to the wardrobe is cracked open slightly. I hop out of the bed and grab a flashlight from my bag as I walk into the wardrobe. I turn on my flashlight and stare in awe at how many clothes are in there. The room is only half as big as the bedroom but it's still bigger than any closet I've ever had. The wardrobe is full of shirts, dresses, pants, and shoes for men and women. I immediately start to look through the shoes to see if any fit my size. I throw a pair of black high heels behind me as Preston finds me in the wardrobe. He looks around before asking me.
“What are you doing?”
“Finding a new pair of clothes to wear cause I've been wearing the same pair of jeans for waaaaay too long”
“Fair enough. Is there any guy stuff in there?”
“Yeah right there” I hook my thumb behind me to point to the other end of the closet.
“I'm sure they won't mind if we take a couple of things…they're probably dead by now anyways,” Preston says with a slight grin on his face. The way he said made me spin my head to look at him but he was already on the opposite end of the wardrobe looking at suits.
I shake away the thought and continue looking for any pair of sneakers in my size. 40 minutes pass before I walk out of the wardrobe holding a new pair of jeans and a black guns-N-roses t-shirt. I toss the clothes on top of the bed and check to see if the shower in the bathroom still works. I turn the dial and wait for a moment. The shower head chokes a little before water comes pouring out. I reach my hand under the showerhead to feel the water. The water is cold, it causes my hand to shiver when I take it out. I shake the water off and say to myself.
“Good enough” as I start to take off my old clothes and get in the shower. The cold water bounces off my skin, it sends shivers down my spine but I still get the old dirt from the last few months off of me. I step out and see a couple of dry towels hanging off of the door. I grab one and dry my body off and grab another to wrap around my head and dry my hair. I step out of the bathroom and Preston is still inside the wardrobe. I put on my new clothes while his back is turned and walk over towards him when I'm finished.
“Still haven't found anything,” I ask him
He turns around “Nothing yet, the only thing interesting was this coat.” He holds a leather coat up to me. The coat is made of black leather and has a skull covered with blue flames on the back. There's a black shirt inside the coat with a skeleton hand making a thumbs-up embroidered on the front.
“ That's pretty cool, it's better than what you're wearing right now at least” he's outfitted in a blue hoodie with holes on the chest and tears at the sleeves. He also has a shirt with a faded picture of a blue flower printed on it.
“I guess you're right” he gets up from the floor and exits the wardrobe. He lays the clothes on the couch along next to the blanket and pillow he brought into the room.
“The shower works so you can get yourself clean In there,” I say to him
“You know, a shower sounds really good right now.” He gets up from the floor and grabs a pair of pajama pants that were laying next to him. He leaves the wardrobe and enters the bathroom, closing the door behind him. After a moment the water turns on and I hop on the bed to get ready to sleep. I squirm myself into the quilt and rest my head against one of the pillows. I shut my eyes and fall asleep listening to the passive sound of the shower like rain on a car.
I'm in a void. It feels like I'm standing in a puddle of water that reaches to my knees. I wade my way forward looking around for anything in the darkness. In the distance I can see 3 figures l. I moved closer to them and their silhouettes get clearer. I realize they are my dad and brothers. I start to run towards them kicking up water behind me until something grabs my leg. It pulls down violently forcing me under the water without a breath of air. I kick at the thing grabbing me until something grabs my other leg. I look down and see two glanter's each with a monstrous smile on their faces. They stare back at me and one of them tugs my leg harder than before and tears it off of my body. The water around me turns red as the glanter laugh's. The other smiles wider as it starts to fling me around the water forcing any air left in my lungs to be forced out as I scream in pain. The glanter throws me away and I can see my family slowly fade into the distance as I'm flown away.
I struggle to swim back to where I was, one of my legs is missing and the other is broken. The glanter's find me again and I try to get to the surface to escape them. I'm flapping my arms in any attempt to escape as one of the glanter's flies in front of me and grabs my arm. I look at the monster with tears in my eyes as it bites my arm and tears my body away from it. It flings my body away and with my remaining arm I clutch the wound as the water floods into my body leaving me in the void I started in. I look around and the glanter's seem to have left. I turn behind me and see my family again, this time I'm closer than before.
I grit my teeth and drag my body towards them slowly as I leave a trail of blood and tears behind me. I finally reach my family and grab one of my father's shoes. I stare up and he looks at me. His stare causes me to feel cold as a grotesque smile grows on his face. I stare in shock as my brothers each have the same look as my father.
I shoot up from my sleep panting heavily in a cold sweat.
“It was just a dream..just a dream…just a dream” I look at my hands as tears fall into them. I look around the room and see Preston sleeping peacefully on the couch. The room feels frozen in place as a chill runs down my spine. I get out of the bed and walk out of the bedroom. I make my way through the dark hallway and find the entrance to the balcony I saw earlier. I creak open the screen door and head outside. The Balcony is pretty large, about the size of the kitchen in the house. There are some chairs knocked over next to a table and I pick one up to sit on it. I look out into the expanse of the neighborhood, houses lined up next to each other, dozens broken apart by roads, and dead bodies scattered across the roads.
I look up in the sky and sit back in the chair. The sky looks empty except for the moon giving this world its only source of light. Without the moon, we’d be left in darkness. It hangs in the sky alone, no stars, no clouds, nothing but itself, and the void of the sky. I think back about the dream I had. My dad and my brother's all dead and possessed and then they kill me. I start to tear up thinking about it. I try to wipe away the tears but it’s no use. I'm too scared for my family. I don't know where they are if they're alive if they're worried about me I don't know anything! I start to quietly cry into my hands. I don't know how long I'm sitting there until I feel a hand on my shoulder. I turn my head to face it and I see Preston. He was smiling and looking at me. I turn away to wipe my tears and he walks next to me.
“I heard you sneaking out of the bedroom so I followed you to see where you were going.” he says “but that's not my question.” he pauses and looks at me “my question is what’s got you feeling so down?” he leans over the railing of the balcony
“It's nothing, I just came out here to clear my head.” I say as more tears escape from my eyes in big slow drops that ride down the sides of my face.
“if you don't feel like telling me you don't have to but i'll be here if you ever change your mind”. He looks up at the moon before turning to face me and his smile widens “I'll always be here with you…trust me I'm not going anywhere”
I stare up at him and wipe away my tears as a smile grows on my face to match his. I get up and stare over the balcony with him. “So where are we heading next?” I say to him, Preston pulls the map we got from the man cave downstairs out from his pocket.
“After I got out of the shower I decided to take a look at the map for anything interesting we could see.”
“Ok did you find anything?” i ask
“I did,” he points at a spot on the right of the map. “We should head to the museum”
“I didn't want to go to a museum before the apocalypse why would i want to go now?'' I ask him.
“Well the best part of museums is the cool stuff right”
“Yeah what about it”
“The only problem is that you could only look at the fossils and armor but you could never take them.”
“So you want to rob a museum?” Prestons eyes light up at the question
“Exactly they might have a really cool sword I could use, or I could sharpen a dinosaur tooth and use that as a weapon, there might be a cursed shield that can summon the dead to fight for you. This opportunity is too good to pass up. We need to go!”
“That does seem pretty cool but wouldn't carrying that stuff weigh us down. What if a glanter is chasing us and we can't run fast enough because of the stuff we took from the museum.”
“We’ll only take things that are light. Even then I could just block the glanter with my newly acquired 2000 year old shield.”
“Fair enough we can go in a couple hours” I yawn and stretch out my arms. “Cause I'm feeling way too tired to walk all the way over there right now.”
“Alright i'm heading back to my couch and THEN we’ll head out to the museum” he leaves the balcony and heads back to the master bedroom leaving me alone on the balcony.
“Thanks Preston I'm not leaving either” I say into the sky. I turn around and walk back inside the house, closing the balcony door behind me. I walk back into the bedroom and Preston is hunched over and holding a flashlight looking at the map. He’s drawing lines through roads and marking X’s in different areas.
“What are the X’s for?” i ask him
“They’re places that glanter’s usually stay around. I'm marking them off so we remember not to go through them, or at least be more cautious.”
“Cool. Did you find where we are right now?” He points to an area where the lines all converge out of.
“Right around here is where the neighborhood ends. So if we follow this path we can make it to the museum in one piece” I pat him on the back and take the map from his hands.
“Get some sleep Preston, we have a full day tomorrow” he grins to himself before laying down on the couch. I put the map back into my bag and hop on the bed to get to sleep. I cover my body in the quilt and roll over facing away from Preston as he falls asleep. I nestle myself into the bed and slowly fall asleep to get ready for the next day.
I'm awoken by Preston shaking the bed I'm sleeping on. My eyes open and the room is foggy, I wipe away the sleep from my eyes and focus my attention towards Preston. He's practically jumping out of his skin with excitement, he's already fully dressed for the trip and shaking the bed with a wide smile on his face.
“Ok ok i'm up the air feels heavy as a groggy feeling fills my body. I wipe my eyes and the room starts to clear up. I turn to face Preston. He's still shaking my bed to wake me up, he’s already fully dressed and nearly jumping out of his skin in excitement.
“Ok ok, i'm up you can stop shaking the bed” i say
“Then get up we’ve got a long walk ahead of us” he says as he stops shaking the mattress. He grabs the map from my bag and points to one of the red lines.
“We're gonna follow this way to the museum. We’ll move past the hotel around the ice skating rink and around the park. We’ll mainly stick to walking through the streets, we might have to go rooftop hopping to avoid any glanter’s if we see them but i'm sure we won’t reach that point.” he explains
“Wait, wait, wait, why are avoiding the skating rink and the park” i ask
“ everytime we go near the park there's weird noises and light coming out of it”
“And why can't we go to the ice skating rink?”
“I didn't think it would be important”
“It couldn't hurt to check it out at least”
“Fine we could make a detour”
“Ok and how do you plan on getting on top of roofs?”
“I'm sure we'll figure it out when we get to it”
“Ok man as long as you’re sure '' I yawn and step out of the bed. Preston starts to put the map in his bag. I walk into the bathroom with my clothes and change out of my pajamas. Minutes later I walk out and see Preston sitting on the couch twiddling his thumbs.
“Finally you're out” he smiles at me before handing me my bag and slinging it over his shoulder. We took a last look inside the kitchen to see if we missed anything. Afterwards we leave for the outside. The cold air bites at my face but Preston walks down the stairs, his face buried in the map. I jog to catch up to him as we both head into the street.
“Hey Preston, could I see the map?”
“Sure” he hands over the map and continues walking. I look at the map and the numerous lines drawn on roads. I look at the corner of the map and notice a small map key with numerous symbols for different areas like a library, school, hospital, and more. There's even a way to tell how far away each location is. The text reads “1 inch=5 miles” I quickly count how far we are from the museum.
“Dude this museum is like 100 miles away.”
“Yep it'll be a long walk, it'll take us a while to get there”
“Did you plan on us walking there the whole time?”
“We might find bikes or something.” he pauses “well i did think we would walk the whole way”
“This is gonna take us weeks to get there!”
“Did you have anything else planned?”
“Well…i guess not but we should still try to find some bikes or something”
“Ok if we see any way to travel faster we’ll take it”
“Alright cool” I hand him the map back and he folds it back up and puts it in his bag. We walk further until we leave the gated neighborhood we started in. Preston takes the map back out and looks at it before he turns right and continues walking. I follow him staring forward at the expanse of the road. The outside of the neighborhood is surrounded by roads all leading to different parts of Newkinawa. We walk past a sign that reads “Coretown 20 miles ahead” I nudge Preston towards the sign and he checks the map again.
“Yep, the museum’s in Coretown. Would you believe the residents were pretty proud of it. Should be a fun place to explore” he says
“Yeah but it’ll take us a million years to get there.” i complain
“Lighten up, I'm sure it will be worth it”. We continue walking down the road slowly making our way to Coretown.

I separated from my husband a few months ago. I'll be honest, I came to terms with the fact that our marriage wasn't going to last years ago. I tried and I begged for change but it did no good. I endured his inability to hold down a job and contribute financially, his substance abuse issues, his constant lying, his unwillingness to help around the house or with our son, his ADHD, his untreated mental illnesses, his inattentiveness, his 2 year emotional affair, he also sexually assaulted me for a number of years etc. It's been a difficult almost 8 years. My final straw was when I found out he commited a felony 2 years prior and kept it from me and then lost his job (for the 11th time) a week later. I left a few months after that.
Admittedly, I fell out of love about 4 years ago. I've done a lot of therapy. I'm done with the marriage. Since we split, he has lied, bullied, harassed, threatened me etc. It has calmed down a bit but he keeps telling me he is not accepting a separation. Anyway, that's a bit of back story.
I decided since I've spent almost a decade looking after this man and completely neglecting myself, I'm taking myself on a trip to the UK (I lived there for a number of years and haven't been back in almost 13 years). He is livid. And he's paranoid that I'm going to meet someone/sleep with someone/fall in love with someone. I am open to the idea of dating and having sex. It may seem soon to some people but honestly, I feel like I haven't even been in a proper relationship in well over 7 years. I haven't even been taken on a date in many, many years. I was done with the marriage long before I actively ended it.
My husband has been trying to coerce me for sex since the day I ended things with him. I have said no. He has said he is a (self diagnosed) sex addict, that he gets his validation from sex, that he needs it and that I'm crossing HIS boundaries by denying him sex. That I am his wife and it's my duty to fulfill those needs for him when requested (you can see how this attitude led him to SA me for years). He admitted he downloaded Tinder (and then deleted it that night, allegedly). I have no feelings about it. I told him if he wants to get laid, he's a free man. He can do that. He insists that he hasn't. But this comes from a man who says unless I set specific boundaries for him, he doesn't know what the boundaries are. I have no evidence other than the verbal red flags and I guess his general disrespectful behaviour to suggest that he's probably already slept with someone by now if it's not something he already did while we were together. Again, not my business. But he's said if I go to the UK and I meet someone etc he will hate me, make my life a living hell etc. That I would be betraying him because we're supposed to be working towards fixing things (I never agreed to that). The thing is, I've been in touch with some old friends from the UK and one of them has expressed interest in taking me on a date. I am also interested and we have been chatting pretty frequently. I told my husband that I was open to the idea of going on a date but not that I had already been asked. He was very upset. I live in a country where if you're separated, you can't commit adultery. So, I'm not legally doing anything wrong. Ethically, maybe, I guess, because it's soon after the separation and my husband is still trying to "fix" things (he's failed at every opportunity to show me he's changing thus far). I have told him clearly I'm not of the same mind. Am I doing something wrong? Do I owe it to him to tell him my intentions to go on this date and see where this thing goes with this other person? We do share a child together so that's always at the forefront of my mind and how any further turmoil with my son's dad will affect my son's life. What would you do?