Winter unblockers

Second Iran bridge \\ Army command exercises \\ Pro-West parties unite \\ Pashinyan: I will have one EU with some fries and ketchup, please \\ Day 6 of Ninth Crusade: Archbishop vs. Deputy Rector \\ Bentley tax? \\ Yerevan's €25M project \\ Global warming & Sevan \\ Wage stats \\ Gago's Jesus

2024.05.15 00:11 ar_david_hh Second Iran bridge \\ Army command exercises \\ Pro-West parties unite \\ Pashinyan: I will have one EU with some fries and ketchup, please \\ Day 6 of Ninth Crusade: Archbishop vs. Deputy Rector \\ Bentley tax? \\ Yerevan's €25M project \\ Global warming & Sevan \\ Wage stats \\ Gago's Jesus

14-minute read.

average monthly nominal salaries and YoY change in Q1 2024

Yerevan +8% to ֏324K/$836
Syunik +7% to ֏295K/$760
Shirak +7% to ֏142K/$366
Yerevan had the highest wages. Syunik had the highest wages among provinces, while Shirak had the lowest.
REPORT: While the average nominal monthly salary does not always show the level of economic prosperity in a region, its rise has made a tangible difference in Syunik.
SUREN PARSYAN (economist): Syunik has higher wages and strong employment. It is the most prosperous province with the lowest ~~unemployment~~ poverty rate in Armenia: 24% in Armenia, 15% in Yerevan, and 2% in Syunik.
REPORT: Over the last 5 years, the average monthly nominal salaries have risen by 40% while the inflation was 21%.
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Armenian army launches command staff exercises

They will exercise the practical implementation of deployment and combat plans, evaluate the commanders' skills, improve the synchronized work between various groups, develop the officers' moral characteristics and practical skills during preparation and combat operations, etc.
They will use automated control systems and modern technologies during the exercises.
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Armenia and India will form a new working group for defense cooperation

Defense ministries of AM and IN held a meeting on Tuesday. They discussed the 2024-2025 cooperation plan and the creation of a new working group to coordinate the cooperation.
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from PM Pashinyan's speech at Copenhagen Democracy Summit:

PASHINYAN: Democracy has indeed become a reality in Armenia. Before the 2018 Velvet Revolution, massive electoral frauds were the usual companion of elections in Armenia. There was no trust among the citizens that there was a real chance for them to elect the government.
Now the situation is totally different; citizens know that they are powerful enough to decide. The two general elections that were held in Armenia after the Velvet Revolution have been acknowledged as democratic, free, and competitive both by the Armenian society and the international community.
Armenia made huge progress in strengthening the democratic institutions, an achievement reflected in reputable democracy indexes:
(a) Now we are the 43rd in the Reporters Without Borders’ Freedom of Speech index, compared to 79th place in 2017.
(b) Categorized as having partially free internet in 2017 by Freedom House, now we enjoy the status of a country with free internet.
(c) In Transparency International’s Corruption Perception Index, Armenia is now 62nd instead of 107th in 2017.
(d) In the Economist Intelligence Unit’s democracy index we are 84th compared to 111th in 2017.
In order to assess this progress, it's essential to note that alongside democratic reforms, Armenia has been contending with external security challenges: the 44-day war in Nagorno-Karabakh, Azerbaijan's invasion of Armenia in 2021 and 2022 and the occupation of over 200 km² amid inaction by [Russia's] CSTO, the forced displacement of over 100,000 Armenians from Nagorno-Karabakh, have cast doubts among Armenian citizens weather democracy is the right choice. So, democracy needs to prove its efficiency while dealing with security, economic and humanitarian challenges.
We are pleased with the deployment of EU monitoring mission alongside the Armenian-Azerbaijani border, and we welcome EU’s decision to expand its capacity. On the other hand, we hope for the inclusion of Armenia into the European Peace Facility and in this regard, we rely on the support of all EU member states [Hungary].
A new set of commitments aimed at strengthening Armenia’s economic resilience, state institutions, and addressing the humanitarian needs of refugees has been taken on by the European Union and United States during the high-level meeting on April 5 in Brussels. The rapid and effective implementation of those commitments is of utmost importance.
Despite all the challenges, we believe that the real and most aspiring companion for democracy is lasting and sustainable peace. My government took the share of its responsibility for this. Recently we reached an agreement with Azerbaijan to launch the delimitation of our interstate borders on the basis of the Almaty Declaration of 1991. That means that during the delimitation we should simply reproduce the Soviet-era administrative borders. This is the implementation of the agreement reached in Prague in 2022. Now it is time to incorporate and reflect those agreements in the peace treaty and have it signed.
Another key point for our regional stability is the «Crossroads of Peace», project, initiated by my government. This project implies that Armenia and Azerbaijan restore and open transport and other communications in accordance with the sovereignty and jurisdiction of the countries through which they pass, and comply with the principles of equality and reciprocity. These elements of the concept were agreed upon during the July 2023 meeting with Ilham Aliyev and Charles Michel. //

... Politico reporter's Q&A with Pashinyan

REPORTER: [Ex-NATO leader] Anders Fogh Rasmussen called your neighbor an autocracy. You are in a very difficult geopolitical and geographical position. How do you solve the security problem in that environment?
PASHINYAN: I would not like to comment on the internal situation of our neighboring countries. Democracy fully corresponds to the mentality of our people. It is a strategy for our government, it is our political belief, it is also our political identity. The members of our political team have spent most of their lives fighting for democracy, the rule of law, and freedom of speech. Now we have the opportunity to realize all these values in our country.
The security situation was complicated because of the regional and global situation; the world order is collapsing at the moment. My assessment is, and I have had occasion to say this publicly, that the 2020 war was a prelude to further developments. And now the main issue is security.
What is our strategic point of view, how are we going to guarantee the security of our country? Recently, I gave a speech in our parliament, where I said that the most important tool for ensuring security is a foreign policy based on legitimacy. This is the reason why we so often speak about the 1991 Almaty Declaration.
It is very important that during the 2022 Prague meeting, two very important agreements were reached. Armenia and Azerbaijan recognize each other's territorial integrity and sovereignty on the basis of the Almaty Declaration and will use it as the basis for the border demarcation. This is the reason why I said that we are not drawing a new border, we just need to reproduce the existing one on the ground. This process is happening right now, and I hope that we will continue it steadfastly.
REPORTER: The border conflict that has occurred in recent years has had a negative impact on relations with Russia and Russia's role for Armenia. What would you say about this?
PASHINYAN: Armenia is a member of CSTO. We are officially a CSTO member, but I have announced that we have frozen our participation.
REPORTER: So are you still a member or...?
PASHINYAN: It is a matter for further discussion, but it is very important to record the current situation. A crisis arose in our relations after Azerbaijani troops invaded Armenia, and according to CSTO procedures, the Organization and its member states had to support Armenia in this situation. But even after the formal application, the CSTO refused to take any concrete steps, and in fact, that is the main reason for freezing our participation in the CSTO at all levels.
REPORTER: Do you expect the West to occupy the current vacuum and ensure your security?
PASHINYAN: We are diversifying our foreign relations in all spheres. Now we are developing defense cooperation with India, France, and other countries. We have a certain cooperation with the European Union because as I mentioned, we are happy about the deployment of the EU Civilian Observation Mission on the border. It is a civilian mission but in a way, it is a new factor for the security of our region. This is the first time that the European Union participates in the security agenda of Armenia.
REPORTER: Would you like to become an EU member?
PASHINYAN: We are waiting for the EU's decision to include Armenia in the European Peace Facility. We also hope to start visa liberalization negotiations, and last year I announced in the European Parliament that Armenia is ready to be as close to the European Union as the European Union deems it possible. This is our position.
REPORTER: Can you elaborate on what initiatives Armenia is taking in the fight against corruption?
PASHINYAN: We have made huge progress but have not eradicated corruption from Armenia. We must continue to be persistent in the agenda of democratic reforms. This is the reason why cooperation with the European Union is of utmost importance for us because today the European Union is our main partner in the implementation of our democratic reform agenda. We hope that the European Union, as well as the USA, will increase their support to Armenia in the implementation of democratic reforms, because, as I said, democracy is a strategy for us.
By the way, in 2019 we started a Strategic Dialogue with the USA, and today we see the strengthening of our cooperation with the European Union. We recently had a tripartite meeting with the participation of the USA, EU, and Armenia. It was an unprecedented format, where we adopted a huge agenda of institutional and economic reforms. It is also very important that we receive more tangible support from the EU and the US to address the humanitarian needs of the Nagorno Karabakh refugees because it is a very sensitive and emotional issue for us.
REPORTER: In which year would you like Armenia to become a member of the EU?
PASHINYAN: This year [as soon as possible]. //
Pashinyan met Anders Fogh Rasmussen. The latter emphasized the importance of the “Crossroads of Peace” project in the context of unblocking the regional infrastructure.
Pashinyan discussed various topics with the PM of Denmark. The latter accepted his invitation to visit Armenia.
full video, source, video, other, other, source, video,

former regime continues to hold protests and briefly shut down roads in Yerevan with demands for PM Pashinyan's resignation

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Dozens of participants were detained and released the same day for blocking roads. The detentions decreased from 170 on Monday to ~63 on Tuesday. They want Pashinyan to resign or to be impeached. The protest organizers visited universities to gather student supporters, some of whom joined them with a dance. The organizers also stopped by at a bakery where they were given free food.
A felony investigation was launched after a police vehicle, "with the sirens on", struck a reporter on the street. In another instance, an investigation was launched against a protester who brought a long sword. One other case was launched over alleged threats made on Facebook by a Galstanyan fan who wants scores of people to be beaten in dalans and exiled from Armenia, "մենակ էտ դեպքում էս սրբազան հողը կմաքրվի էս տեսակ շան ծնունդներից, ուրիշ ձև չկա!!!!"
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A ruling faction member of Yerevan City Council complained about "harassment" by opposition figures who are attempting to convince ruling party members to join the protests and the impeachment.
RULING MEMBER: That is not how it works. No one will join you with that conduct. People will join if they see you have a legitimate agenda with trustworthy leaders. Instead, you are "ethnically cleansing" the citizens of Armenia [referring to one opposition speaker telling non-Armenians to leave] և հեռու չէ են օրը երբ դուք գուցե ասեք որ հայ լինելու համար պետք է Հայկ նահապետից տեղեկանք բերել: //
ԳԼՈՒԽ 3
Yesterday the protest co-organizer Archbishop Bagrat Galstanyan said he received a report suggesting that the Deputy Rector of Yerevan State University supposedly urged deans and others to retaliate against students who joined the protests. Galstanyan said he was unsure whether the report was true, but decided to read it out loud anyway. On Tuesday he rallied his supporters to the backyard of the University where he demanded to speak with the Deputy Rector for clarification.
The Deputy Rector went downstairs and greeted Galstanyan, who shook her hand but wouldn't let it go for an uncomfortably long period, prompting her to ask him to let go of her hand. The Deputy Rector declared that whatever Galstanyan read about her was a defamatory lie.
GALSTANYAN: I never believed it myself.
DEPUTY RECTOR: Then you should not have said out loud something you did not believe.
GALSTANYAN: Listen, there is a recorded fact...
DEPUTY RECTOR: Where is that "recorded fact"?
GALSTANYAN: It was on the media. As I said yesterday, I had no verification that it was true, which is why we came here to clarify it. If it's false, then I apologize.
DEPUTY RECTOR: Thank you. //
The Deputy Rector urged the protest organizers not to enter the building or disrupt the classes, and that "anyone who wants to follow you can follow you, anyone who wants to stay in classrooms should stay in classrooms".
The angry Deputy Rector left. Another university official criticized Galstanyan for not checking the information before reading it to his followers. Galstanyan said he stands behind his words, and that he was "just reading what was on the media", but reiterated that he had no intention to insult the Deputy Rector.
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Galstanyan and his supporters visited the monument dedicated to Operation Nemesis. He praised the figures behind Nemesis for "assuming personal responsibility". In front of the crowd, Galstanyan introduced Hambig Sassounian who recently joined his movement. He pointed to the Nemesis monument and said Sassounian is "one of the successors, one of the brightest people." In related news, on Sunday a ruling faction MP complained about receiving death threats with reference to Operation Nemesis.
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DANIEL IOANNESIAN (NGO chief): When this protest dies down, we need to discuss the following: (1) The transparency of political and media funding. There are some regulations in place, but they are incomplete and easily bypassed. For example, I'd like to know who paid for Archbishop Galstanyan's giant stage in Republic Square. In 2018 Pashinyan organized a fundraising for it and disclosed a detailed report. (2) Should the media organizations that do not respect the rules of financial transparency enjoy all the mechanisms for the protection of journalists? (3) Are the customs authorities confident that the church is not facilitating the business activities of certain figures disguised as donations? (4) Is it fair for the church and clergy members not to pay taxes? Should they be able to have a Bently and LX570 without paying taxes? [The "Bentley" is based on a true story.]
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Archbishop's fans spotted Miss Armenia 2003 and a H1 host Lusine Tovmasyan drinking a coffee at a Yerevan café and approached her.
PROTESTER: (unintelligable)
LUSINE: I was here drinking coffee yesterday, and a year before that.
PROTESTER: Why have you not joined the holy struggle?
LUSINE: Լավ եկեք թարգեք, շատ զզվելի ա, էնքան զզվելի ա․ //
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Pro-Kremlin propagandist Alexander Dugin praised the pro-Russian forces' protests in Armenia and criticized the pro-EU protests in Georgia.
Pro-Kremlin Russian politician Semyon Baghdasarov praised Archbishop Bagrat and the ongoing "uprising" in Armenia against the "traitor" [Nikol] who "rigged" the elections with the help of "Turkey, UK, and US". Nikol is a Turkish MI6 agent. video,
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Video of a protest recorded from above: video
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Armenian government has upgraded other diplomatic channels to reduce reliance on ARF's diaspora structures in the US, says pro-West NGO chief

KHURSHUDYAN: The status of the Armenian Ambassador to the U.S. [Lilith Makunts] has been significantly upgraded. I won't go into specifics because it's tied to our neighbors, but she plays an interesting role there. We have great conditions for the U.S. Congress to pressure Azerbaijan. This is outside of ARF's lobbyist groups in the U.S.
REPORTER: ARF Hay Dat's recent conduct has been shameful.
KHURSHUDYAN: And its influence on the Lemkin Institute was obvious. //
Yesterday Kurshudyan accused the Lemkin Institute of caving to ARF's pressure and meddling into Armenia's internal affairs to assist the protests by the pro-Russian former regime.
KHURSHUDYAN: Lemkin Institute accused Pashinyan's April 24 genocide remembrance day statement of containing "victim blaming". Lemkin did not comment on Pashinyan's statement for several weeks, waited 15 days, and as soon as these pro-Russian protests began in Armenia, they gave them a պաս:
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Armenia's four most prominent pro-West opposition parties announce the formation of a unified platform

Republic Party, led by ex-PM Aram Sargsyan.
Hanun Republic Party, led by Arman Babajanyan.
European Party of Armenia, led by Tigran Khzmalyan.
Christian-Democratic Party, led by Levon Shirinyan.
Have the following agenda...
(1) Promotion of Western values in Armenia and Armenia's membership in EU and NATO.
(2) United front against threats and risks of destabilization coming from Russia.
(3) Vetting judges to clean up the courts, and resolution of issues left unaddressed by the Pashinyan administration.
(4) Continuation of border demarcation based on 1991 Almaty.
(5) The use of international law to achieve a fair resolution for Nagorno-Karabakh residents.
The platform is open for like-minded forces to join.
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Armenian army chief denies being a Russian citizen

A statement released by the defense ministry denies media reports that CoGS LtGen Edward Asryan is a dual citizen of Russia. His wife is an ethnic Russian with Armenian citizenship and his kids are dual citizens, but Asryan only has citizenship in Armenia. The whole family has resided in Armenia since 2006, said the statement.
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Georgia passes controversial ‘foreign agents’ bill despite widespread opposition

The law will require organizations receiving more than 20% of their funding from abroad to register as “agents of foreign influence” or face crippling fines.
The bill will be sent to the President who is expected to veto it, but her veto is expected to be overruled by the parliamentary majority later.
Georgian PM Kobakhidze had an "honest conversation" with U.S. deputy foreign minister James O'Brien, telling him that the Georgian government is interested in deepening the partnership with the U.S., "which requires mutual efforts and relations based on fairness."
James O'Brien demanded to speak with the manager - Bidza Ivanishvili. The latter refused to meet O'Brien, saying he won't hold any meetings under "blackmail".
The White House said the U.S. will review its relations with Georgia if the bill becomes law.
source, source, source,

how many of the 101,000 Nagorno-Karabakh refugees have left Armenia and haven't returned yet?

As of...
Dec: 6.6K
Jan: 6.9K
Mar: 8.0K
Apr: 9.1K
May: 9.9K
The former Ombudsman of Nagorno-Karabakh said many of them have family members and friends in Russia who invite them to move.
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temperatures are rising rapidly in Armenia

REPORTER: The rainy May is not going to be enough to alleviate the negative consequences of the rapidly rising temperatures in Armenia. With a ~3 Celsius anomaly, Armenia had the second-highest increase in temperature over the last 6 months among a group of monitored countries.
WEATHER CENTER: High temperatures increase the evaporation of water and reduce the amount of snow in the winter. In December and January, we recorded rain instead of snow in certain mountainous regions, which is bad for water resources.
REPORTER: A conference was recently held in Yerevan within the framework of the UN Convention to Combat Desertification.
UN official: Around 40% of global soils are degraded. Millions of people will be forced to migrate from their communities by 2050 as a result of climate problems. Emergency action is needed to reduce the rate of rising temperatures. //
Armenia joined the Convention three decades ago and has assumed the responsibility to restore degraded soil by 2030. The government is promoting drip irrigation systems for farming and wants to plant more trees.
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is the decline of Lake Sevan levels finally slowing down?

see the YoY chart

Yerevan Municipality to receive a €25 million loan from European Investment Bank to raise energy efficiency

It's part of the implementation of Eastern Partnership programs. The Armenian government and the EU are co-financing it.
The goal is to raise energy efficiency and carry out seismic retrofitting in 6 medical clinics and 32 kindergartens run by the municipality. The length of the program is 4 years.
video, video,

Gagik Tsarukyan is inside you

there is a bit of Tsarukyan inside all of you
see it to believe it

Gagik Tsarukyan says the new Jesus statue is ready and will be installed by the end of 2025

It will be a tourist attraction site. There will be a ropeway. Also, Tsarukyan needs you to know that he is a man of God and an avid believer.
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Armenia and Slovakia discussed AM-EU visa liberalization

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Lithuania will help retrain Armenian law enforcement agents to combat cybercrime, analyze crimes, etc.

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Armenia's Economy Minister Papoyan met the U.S. Assistant Secretary of State for Energy Resources Geoffrey Pyatt

In a Washington meeting participated by the Armenian Ministry delegation and Armenia's Ambassador, they spoke about the Crossroads of Peace logistics project proposed by Armenia, several topics relating to Armenia's energy and economic security, and the Armenian government's ongoing efforts to classify Armenia as a "market economy".
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Armenia and Iran discussed the construction of a second bridge over the River Araks

The first bridge began operating in 1996. It came to replace the floating bridges on the river.
Iran says the AM-IR traffic through the Meghri checkpoint significantly increased last year. Coupled with the fact that Armenia is building a modern North-South highway, they believe it's necessary to have a second AM-IR bridge to handle the rising traffic.
The parties are currently discussing the formation of a working group consisting of experts to discuss the topic.
source,

a new study on mice indicates that more exercise might be better than more sleep for clearing brain of toxins

They injected a dye into a brain and tracked the speed of its movement during sleep and exercise.
The findings show that the clearance of the dye was reduced by 30% in sleeping mice compared with mice that were kept awake. This has not been confirmed on humans yet.
Previous research has suggested that sleep is important for preventing dementia as it is during this time that toxic proteins are cleared from the brain.
source, source,

submitted by ar_david_hh to armenia [link] [comments]

2024.05.11 22:01 ProfessorHawkinsJr hopeless love story

made this for my narrative essay in american literature, but one of my friends said i should share the story
“But I Still Need You” Throughout my life, I had always fallen easy for girls. The elementary mindset of, “she’s cute, so I have a crush on her,” prevented me from developing a legitimate relationship with any girl I tried to talk to. The few times that my feelings were reciprocated, I had no idea because I was already on to the next girl, and this continued until I was left with a multitude of friend-zone situations and a list of “crushes.” My charisma already lacking, it seemed each year that passed, previous to 3rd grade, I grew in weight and therefore awkwardness. The struggle to interact with women lessened as I grew up, while the fat remained. So, by the 8th grade I was the ideal guy friend; easy to talk to, kinda funny, understanding, and unintimidating. My approachable “funny fat friend” nature had its ups and downs. While guys, for reasons I still don’t fully understand, suspected me to be gay, girls found it intriguing and it made them want to be friends with me more. Back then I didn’t know, but now I know that by being forced to be friends first, after finding out I was in fact not gay, the right woman for me would want to be with me for my personality. In the winter of 2021, I fell hard for a girl named Madeline. Maddie was no different than many of the other girls in that she had a bland personality and I thought she was cute. She had brunette hair with bangs, big glasses, way too much makeup on, and a unique fashion sense. Her sense of fashion was one of the few interesting things about her, yet it was disregarded by the public. Not too many guys found her appealing, but I did, for whatever reason. I was dead set on getting to know her better in hope of becoming more than friends. Unfortunately, she hardly paid attention to me, but I didn’t give up. I merely slowed down because of my interest in her friend, Isabella. Isabella is the Spanish and Italian variation of Elizabeth (derived from the Hebrew name Elisheba). The meaning of Elishiba can be translated to, “God is my oath.” In Arabic, the beginning of Isabella, “Isa,” is the classical Arabic name for Jesus, while in the French language, the shortened version of Isabella, “Belle,” translates to “beautiful.” I had met Isabella in the sixth grade, and grew a tiny crush on her, in the elementary sense, before we all went into hibernation (COVID). I barely knew her though, and she had no idea who I was, so when we interacted in my last two classes, if we did at all, it was like two strangers who kept running into each other. I sat by her in my sixth period, and one seat up and to the right from her in seventh. We only ever made small talk and the occasional joke, but when I spoke with her I felt content. Still barely knowing her, all I could admire was the little things in the way she laughed and spoke. I longed to know more about Isabella, she was mature, intelligent, and very opinionated, but still light-hearted and made time pass at the speed of light. It wasn’t until she was in my group in sixth period one day that she began to open up a little by sharing the details of her current long-distance relationship. The shards of my heart stabbed and crushed my stomach; hope, the oxygen to my mind, depleted faster than the air of a broken space shuttle; palpitation, nausea, asphyxia, and neurosis bombarded me like Persian arrows on the Greeks. Then, all at once, the excruciating tidal wave evaporated, but instead of calm waters, I was left with a drought. Every emotion muted or gone, my body went numb while everything I cared for vanished from my mind. I didn’t speak throughout the rest of that day, and went directly from the bus to decaying in my bed. I was devastated, so I retreated to my pointless crush on Maddie. Unrelated to the rather sad lovelife, my anxiety and depression worsened throughout 8th grade, and while I was going to therapy, most of my issues wouldn’t and still haven’t been worked through. Throughout the school year I had developed a toxic system of self pity, in which I would spend hours a day cycling through the feelings of hope, anger, and despair- never that of joy. I knew what I was doing, gathering enough hope to face the school day just before I reflected on the doubts and grievances going on throughout my life. I’d bring myself up just for a greater fall because honestly, overtime I became numb to the natural pain. If I were going to fall into the pit that is depression, the higher I peaked in terms of optimism the more excruciating the freefall of nausea and the heavy flow of salt water. At that point in my life, I saw no point in getting out of bed to do anything, school or even my own mother’s birthday. By the end of eighth grade I had spent almost a total of six weeks absent, two of which were from me being quarantined. Typically over the span of one or two days, others up to four, I would be in my bed “sick.” During these mini-vacations I would sleep all morning, if my mom let me, and stay up all night, oftentimes listening to Radiohead or Cigarettes After Sex while staring at my ceiling. I wanted to stay up, I wanted to feel the bags grabbing and pulling towards my cheekbone, I wanted to feel empty, emotionally and physically. During the day, my anxiety attacks became panic attacks and I would get sent home for vomiting. I'd throw up to give Mom a reason to let me stay home. I’d throw up to feel something, anything. I’d throw up to keep my stomach empty. I’d throw up because I had to, because the nerves and overthinking forced me to. Every morning, I’d drag my black air force ones across cement, carpet, tiles, and marble, each step leading towards Mrs. Clements’ homeroom. For every step, a different worry or insecurity flashed through my brain. But then, out of the blue, I’m “Lincoln” again. I walk into homeroom with an ear-to-ear grin and dap up “the boys”. I’d spend the morning building up hopes of making Isabella laugh today, or maybe calling her once I got home, but I knew that nine times out of ten my hopes were delusional. To “Lincoln,” this was no problem, he would make a gay joke, join the boys with teasing a cute girl in my class, and laugh until just for a moment, the despair was gone. Finally, the sixth period would come and I’d get to see Isabella. In here I got the least work done out of all my classes as I would find myself strategically planning my next interaction with her, just for said plans to go out the window when I was brought face to face with her. Typically seventh period followed the same pattern except Ms. Shirley Davis could never allow small talk in her classroom. When the last bell rang, I went straight to the buses. I’d sleep on the way home, dreaming of a call that would hardly happen. On the off chance my phone didn’t reach its feared 11th cry, we’d talk for hours at a time. On a weekday or not, it seemed that, when we did call, it was guaranteed to go into the early morning. It’s hard to put my finger on a specific topic, or even general. In our conversations, we discussed anything and everything. Everything, except her own love interest. I admired this, as my inability to keep who I’m thinking about at the time a secret is a major flaw of mine. The more that me and her spoke, the more I grew to love her. Our talks were so honest, so raw, that the secret I held began to eat away at me. My core collapsing like a dying star, each day it felt like the pain got worse. To cope with the feelings I had buried deep inside me, I’d turn to my friends. At first, they said to come forward with my feelings, but I knew that’s what any friend would’ve said. The relief I got from venting the conflicting hurricane within me was brief. Overtime, their words of encouragement turned to annoyance, and understandably so. When people grew sick of the same old sadistic untold love, I turned to Isabella. I wrote a text so full that, to read it, one needed to tap on an arrow at the bottom right corner of my message. The essay was compiled with the confliction I had, developing feelings for a friend, and the sorrow that filled me each day that passed without her. I described the perfect imperfections that I admired about her, how life was complete when I spoke to her, the beauty that paralyzed me every time I saw her in person, and the character that I felt God had curated specifically for me. Sitting there unsure if I should press send, a fear grew within my chest that Isabella would see right through me. I could hear the music that so often triggered tears; the vocals of Thom Yorke or the beats of Kanye West, they faded in and out. What if she didn’t even respond? What if she thought I was a creep? What if- then she responded. Suddenly, the ominous 808s & Heartbreak pounding vanished, my respiratory chaos became paralyzed, and time stood still. I couldn’t breathe until I finished reading, and once I did, my sigh was all but relieving. Isabella explained to me how unhealthy my habits were; even in comparison to the anguish that would follow, I’d suffer far more and far longer should I suppress my emotions. She told me how that level of affection, in the context of the warped concept of romance most men had, was something she had only dreamt of. Isabella said that holding these feelings would eat away at me, exponentially increasing in severity, until I broke. Not only would I be hurting myself, but I would be depriving the person I care about most from the appreciation they deserve. I became bloated with fear of the friendzone, those insecurities, all based upon inference, became a reality with Isabella’s last piece of advice. She said, “If she doesn’t reciprocate those emotions, then don’t worry. I’m sure there’s a girl out there who can appreciate your compassion.” The blame had no other place to go than my shoulders, after all, I got what I asked for, advice on another girl. Isabella, even if she saw the crush I had on her, is far too kind to address it. She cared for everyone, and to her, she was merely boosting up a friend who’s down. For the rest of the night her text echoed through my mind; pain, regret, and admiration caused my mind to sporadically leap from conclusion to conclusion. Two years later, those words still haunt me, reiterations of that phrase torturing me when I least expect them. The school year progressed, but my aspirations with Isabella didn’t. Over time, the frequency of my writings grew to be weekly, at times reaching two a week, and the weight of my confessions depleted. I opened my audience to a mutual friend of Isabella’s, Miley, with the intention of acquiring useful advice. Eventually, my choice to try concealing what I felt for Isabella became too heavy of a burden, weighing down on me in forces I had not endured before. Soon, the love I had for Isabella turned to hatred for myself. I was relentlessly criticizing every aspect of myself and my mind. I hated how fat I was, my smile, my voice, my laugh, and most of all my personality. What I had thought was my greatest strength, was revealed as my worst trait. The gullibility I exhibited when thinking for a second Isabella could possibly like me; the lack of confidence that caused me to chicken out of confessing my feelings to her; my insufferable need to make people laugh; the hyperfixation I would develop for those that I love. Everything about me was wrong. I stopped eating, stopped sleeping, stopped caring, and eventually I stopped living. The “Lincoln” my friends had grown to recognize, the only remnant of the joy I felt when I was younger, died, and I was left with only my love for Isabella and resentment for myself. I began testing the limits of what was left of me, praying for relief. At first in the middle of the night, an anaconda would find its way to my throat, wrapping around my neck. Its cold black scales gracefully gliding across my skin before silencing my cries with the swift tug of its metallic USB head. The snake would maintain pressure until I let go of it, the entire time whispering into my ear, begging me to hold on. Some nights it came with what must have been a full stomach for it was drastically wider, it was brown these nights, with leather skin, and a slight warmth, but it behaved the same. Most visits from the snake ended with my vision blurry, my breath short, or my head dizzy. The only consistency of our transactions was Asia’s Death Lake that streamed down my face from start to finish. Eventually, the snake seemed closer and closer to silencing me forever, but I also became used to its visits. I began writing letters to everyone I loved so that, should the snake come out victorious, they’d have a final goodbye. Once I had sorted out my notes, I called the snake to my room. This time it came striped with shades of blue, its skin a soft fabric. For once, I controlled the snake, because our intentions finally aligned. I locked the door, sent out my texts, placed the written notes on my dresser, and joined the snake at my closet door. Holding onto the doorknob, the snake wrapped itself around my neck just as it had done in nights of the past. It whispered to me, “let go,” for I had been on my knees in hesitation. I followed the snake’s order by making a sort of plank with my body, the bottom half resting on a stack of dirty laundry and pillows while the top was supported by my elbows. Pressure swiftly fell down on my neck and didn’t stop. “This is it,” I thought to myself. My eyes seemed to pop out of my skull, and my tears, falling down like summer rain, became blurry dots as my vision went dark. Next thing I know, I’m waking up, snot, saliva, and tears strung between my face and the carpet floor. My head pounding and my eyes burning, I looked up at the “snake” that was the tie my mom had gotten me for Sunday service. Although my mind was more clear, it was not out of revelation, but from a muted sense of the world around me. Other than Isabella, nothing mattered anymore, and the little emotion I felt was squashed by my immortal love. The following day I get called to the counselors office on charges of suicidal thoughts and self harm. I said what I had to in order to escape her grasp, but left infuriated. Not only had my own friends betrayed me, but the lady who was supposed to guide me essentially scolded me for being sad. Throughout the day my anger faded out and my focus became making an excuse as to why my parents got a weird call from my counselor, then I’d find the traitor who sold me out. That afternoon, I lost two friends, and for the first time ever got mad at Isabella. Apparently, Miley, Maddie, and Isabella all reported me to the counselor that morning. They said I had been traumatizing them with what was going on in my life, being normal and messing around at school, then detailing my thoughts and actions to them outside of school. I felt like I had been tricked. I thought they were my friends. I thought they understood me. They asked me if I was okay, they said they wanted, cared, needed to know, but now I had scared them? I addressed what had happened with Miley first. She immediately lashed out at me, saying I should be thanking them, not be mad. While I didn’t want to accept it, I understood the core of her choices. On the other hand, Maddie’s response to my confrontation was disgustingly cruel. She said I had been unfair and just seeking attention, that no thirteen to fourteen year old should hear about what I was going through because it was unnatural. Before she continued, I apologized, that’s all I could think to do, because deep down I believed her. She told me it wasn’t all my fault because my brain was messed up, and that opening up to the girls would only make them not want to be friends with me. The one word that rang through my head then, and still does today, was “creep,” she claimed that what I felt wasn’t love, but I was just mentally unstable and creepy. Any remnants of the sweet kid from elementary school who just wanted a friend and loved everyone were obliterated. Maddie was right, all I had done was hurt and scare them, it didn’t matter what I thought. I told her all I could, that I didn’t know what to say other than I was sorry for the damage I had done, and I would try and get better. Her response, like a branding iron on my mind, was, “It’s not damage, it’s baggage. Imagine if the roles were reversed.” It was only then that I stopped texting back. I wish I could say it was out of frustration or self respect, but the reality of my manipulative traits is what silenced me. Shockingly, the response that hurt the most was from Isabella, yet it somehow meant the most to me too. Isabella told me that she needed me in the world. She told me that if I ever got those thoughts again, to think about her as well; to think about the pain I’d be causing her; to think about the trauma she’d live with for the rest of her life. After repeating the phrase, “I need you in my life,” she acknowledged how selfish it was, but still didn’t care. Isabella continued elaborating, she didn’t care because no label of selfishness outweighed the value of my life. What she said that night has been vivid in my mind since, but my only wish is that she had needed me as I needed her. Tears began to hide my freckled cheeks as I texted her about how much her words meant to me, how much she meant to me, and I apologized to her. I said sorry for the baggage I caused, the “creepy” behavior, and any other ways I had wronged her. I said sorry for loving her, and told her I’d do better. She disregarded my apologies, telling me that I could always talk to her because no matter the baggage she could carry, it’d be worth taking the smallest bit off of me. Her words meant so much to me, yet hurt me just the same. I hated myself for it. I couldn’t see a life without an affection for her, it was pathetic. If I truly loved her, I’d let my feelings go, right? What kind of person did that make me? Summer came and went. Hoping that time would kill the crush I had on Isabella, I prohibited myself from contacting her. Instead I spent time with my family and a few friends, but Isabella never left my head. Even when accompanying my dad to Berry College for the Governor’s Honors Program, she’s what filled my head. At first I felt frustrated because before I had come forward to her, she had known about the feelings I had. I came to the conclusion that she had been dragging me along, but even then I knew how easily that thought would be abandoned. First day of High school, I got in touch with her. For maybe two weeks, I maintained a platonic relationship before free falling into the ominous pit once again. This time felt different though, it felt like what I had thought about everyday, for what seemed eternity, could be more than a daydream. We texted each other throughout the school day and facetimed after her cheer practice and my band practice. Eventually, Isabella was falling asleep on call. Before, we’d talk long into the night, and it began to drain the energy out of the both of us. Now, we were listening to music, playing Roblox, watching Netflix, or just sitting in silence. I had never felt comfortable with silence, but she made it seem better than having a conversation with anyone else. It’s a beautiful thing when words aren’t required to appreciate someone. The moment I had the courage to do so, I asked her out to Steak n’ Shake. It’s just my luck that the restaurant was hardly a shell of what I remembered as a kid. At first the conversation was awkward because we hardly spoke in person, but as time progressed so did we. I still remember the tightness of my cheeks as I failed to suppress my ear-to-ear grin. The euphoric nausea and beating heart that disappeared throughout our conversation. I remember the booth we sat in, the fact that she wanted me to swap seats with her because of her creaky seat, the way she giggled, how I fought tooth and nail to pay for such a small bill, the way she smiled when she said, “next time you’ve gotta let me pay,” and the shared excitement for our next hangout. Even though Isabella and I were still friends, even though the restaurant was a disaster, even though the fries were stale and the milkshakes chunky, that moment is one of the best in my life. With how well things were going, I thought that it was my best chance at making something more out of this friendship. So, I shot my shot. I told her that despite my efforts the summer before, she still held a special place in my heart. Isabella responded with her own struggles with recovering from a past relationship, detailing the trust issues and pain she still felt almost a year later. I was yet again, devastated. Then she added that despite her own feelings, she had to be careful and the risk of losing our friendship scared her. I understood her reasoning, but it made me sick to think of how close I was. In response, I expressed how I could relate to those feelings, and the conflict I had with them. It felt ridiculous having opened myself up once again, to just be friendzoned. Her response struck me with both hope and devastation, “I f*cking love you a ton Lincoln, but I’m struggling to differentiate my admiration as a friend and as something more. I’m terrified of losing you.” Previously I would have seen this as a sign to keep trying, but at that moment, I couldn’t see past the blatant friendzoning. After pursuing her for so long, it felt cruel of her to continue dragging me along like this, even though she was being honest. My reaction to the straw that broke the camel’s back is one of, if not, the biggest regrets in life. Homecoming was a little over a week away and she was going (as friends) with my buddy, Davis, so in a storm of hatred for myself and the situation I was in, I gave up on her. Our conversations grew to be minimal and far apart. Soon, I started to resent her. Each day since then, I have somehow felt more remorse than the last for not asking her to Homecoming. Homecoming night is when I began flirting with Claire, a sweet redhead from gym class. We connected on not going with the person we had hoped for. All it took was me joking that I should’ve spent more time around her, instead of leaving the dance early, for Claire to lose her mind. Over the next month or so, I was becoming closer and closer with Claire, despite her irritable “quirks”. I only spoke to Isabella if she reached out to me first with the only exception being when I would ask her for “advice” about Claire, which was a shameful habit I started as petty revenge on Isabella. Eventually, Isabella blocked me on Snapchat, but it didn’t matter. Things with me and Claire were going great, she made me feel like I didn’t need to starve myself to be good enough for her. She made me feel like I was enough. For the next two and a half months, life was great. After the first couple months of ignorant bliss, I was sick of her. Sure, there were a variety of reasons to find her annoying, most people I knew could list more than they have fingers and toes, but she didn’t do anything wrong. I shouldn’t have gotten into the relationship in the first place not only because of Isabella, but also the speed at which me and Claire started dating. She was still growing out of the elementary relationship phase, so while it was nice to connect with someone so quickly, it was rushed. Another issue being that I was her first real boyfriend, the baggage that followed me was detrimental to her and I couldn’t give her the attention she needed. As me and Claire began our month long drift apart, I was unblocked by Isabella. She and I caught up, and we quickly began to talk trash about Claire while on call. It was unbelievably toxic, and I’m embarrassed of how I handled things to this day. Eventually, with the support of Isabella, I decided it was time to break up. The only issue was the guilt I had in such a terrible choice, I could never do it. So I began to get more distant by the day, ignored texts and calls, and stopped walking her to classes because “I had to pee.” Eventually she caught wind of my plans and called me after school one day. Sobbing, she told me what she had heard and how she knew it wasn’t true, but it still worried her. I began to get ready to break the news, but she was already crying so what's the worst that could happen? I wish I had never asked myself that, because next she told me she’d been cutting herself. My heart sank in remorse for what I knew I would do. If I led her on longer, the aftermath of my cold actions would lead to even more catastrophe. I was scared, but knew the lesser of the two evils I had to pick from. I calmed her down, quickly notified her friends to be keeping an eye on her, and then dumped her. To this day, I am disgusted by my actions. Throughout the past three months, Claire expressed how she had loved and trusted me, yet I threw that all away. There are so many ways I could’ve handled the situation differently, but two stood out the most. Showing respect by speaking to Claire the moment I realized my feelings had fleeted was the bare minimum that I disregarded, but the second was far simpler. I had known from the start that I was still in love with Isabella and that love never faded, but was only suppressed. The entire relationship we developed, while we both enjoyed parts of it (her more than me), was a lie, and essentially a cruel joke played on Claire. There’s no excuse for my actions, and even worse, I could’ve cared less back then. It was only when time had passed that I began to understand the damage I had done. Without Claire holding me back, my newfound freedom led to a closer friendship with Isabella. I dove headfirst into the familiar pit all over again. A friendship was not enough, I appreciated every interaction I had with Isabella, but my life depended on a future with her. It’s likely she felt this as she slowly began to drift away from me. Before I had stayed up speaking to Isabella, but now I couldn’t sleep out of the tormenting absence of her voice. The only path to good health was time; distance was best for the both of us, and I knew it. For the rest of that school year, everything around me was going, but I stood still. It was like my life was just a sitcom, and I was no longer the main character. The summer that followed was just the same, I was living but dead, moving but still, speaking but silent. I was dissociating from my friends and family, but the absence of that violent snake made my depression insignificant. Living a life without her was more punishment than death itself, and I didn’t deserve relief. Even now, I think of that summer and remember almost nothing, for my life isn’t worth remembering without Isabella in it. Sophomore year began, and so did my conversations with Isabella. This go around, I was subtle with my feelings for her. The excitement I had for speaking with her was under control, but it was because the spark inside me had faded, even when it came to Isabella.The years of self pity and depression had left a toll on me that could never be reversed, and it didn’t help that Isabella began to build a relationship with another guy. When we spoke, if we did, Isabella’s concern for my mental state outweighed the friendship we were struggling to preserve. I had come to the conclusion that pursuing Isabella would only make things worse, and I needed to just be her friend. Since I couldn’t lose the feelings I had for her, I just sat in them. While I sat in the pit, Isabella and I had one particular Facetime call in which I brought up how much I regretted dating Claire. To that, Isabella added, “Yeah, she’s so annoying. I can’t remember if you told me why you got together in the first place, what led you to her?” I paused with the thousand-yard stare of an American private fresh out of West Point. “I guess I was just so disappointed with myself for not being able to go to homecoming with you and being stuck on you for so long that I impulsively got with another girl to forget about my shortcomings,” I said with reluctance and stuttering every few words. She told me that she would’ve said yes to homecoming without a second thought, but I knew she meant as friends. Then, to my dismay, Isabella revealed that whenever I got with Claire, she still had feelings for me. It was me talking to Isabella about how great things were with me and Claire that led her to block me and cut contact with me. The piano melody from “No Surprises” by Radiohead began looping through my mind as tears ran down my face. I forget how I ended the call, but once I did, I broke. I lost my breath, my head got light, my eyes became blurry, my stomach was nauseous, and my insides sank as far as they could. Everything I wanted, dreamed of, needed had been so close, and I blew it. Everything was my fault. Later I would ask her why she lost them, and her answer proved how much better she was than me. Isabella answered, “I had been hurt, so I moved on. Just got over it.” We hardly spoke anymore, but one text message has found a permanent home in my mind. After asking me how I was, Isabella wasn’t satisfied with, “it’s complicated.” She asked that I explain it to her so that she could try to understand. I told her about all the issues going on in my life, except the torch I still held for her. She wrote, “I know you’re not religious, so it may not mean anything, but I pray for you every night, Lincoln. Even though it sounds bad, I think that I've known you weren’t in the greatest mental place for a while. I want you to know I'm not judging you, I want you to feel comfortable enough to share that with someone. You have to be able to recognize how you’re feeling in order to even fix it.” These words broke me despite their simplistic appearance. Reading that she prayed for me hit me hard as she had always tried to get me to believe in God again. I’m agnostic, and nothing has come closer to bringing me back to faith as Isabella did. The idea that if God were real and I could see her in heaven was appealing, but should Christianity be the wrong choice, I wanted to be wrong with Isabella. In the following days, Isabella told me about Alex, a guy she had been talking to a lot, and how they were at most a month away from being together. I hated everything about Alex, which is a stupid name in the first place. I hated his choice of friends, I hated how white-washed he was, I hated how he dressed like a conservative cowboy, I hated the underbite that made him look like a pug, I hated his short curly hair, I hated the fact that he was a diehard Trump supporter while people of his race were being oppressed, I hated how he pretended to be someone else when he was around Isabella, I hated how he hid unhealthy habits from her, I hated that a guy like him garnered Isabella’s affection when I couldn’t. I barely knew the guy and I was wasting my energy with hatred for him, when in reality, he was just a mind-numbingly basic douche among the hundreds just like him at our school. Isabella regularly complained about Alex, but hardly did anything. Instead she stopped bringing it up, saying that talking about her issues with others only makes it worse and that she was just wining. The monotone delivery of her reasoning hurt my soul, it was like she was reciting a text from Alex. Each day that passed, I felt the urgency of expressing my feelings one more time rising. Soon Isabella and Alex would be official, and I would lose my chance to try and express how I felt one more time. I reached out to Isabella and asked if she was free to hangout that friday. On November 10, 2023, Isabella picked me up around 5:30 in the evening. She kept the inside of her SUV looking brand new in contrast to the familiarity of her smile. My nerves left me winded after every sentence and shivering in her passenger seat. Quickly our conversation became more natural as I cracked jokes to ease my anxiety, but my shaky breathing never stopped. We went to Publix to grab some snacks and drinks and headed right back to my neighborhood park. At the Grove Point Park, we found a swinging chair to sit in. Due to the time of the year, the sun had already set, but Isabella’s beauty was indifferent under the moonlight. I haven’t the slightest clue how long we sat there together. When I’m with Isabella, even Father Time gives me grace, for he knows that he is as powerless as I am to the frequency of these moments. After a while, I mentioned that it was getting late and she agreed. On the ride back to my place, I mustered the bare minimum of strength it took to confront my feelings. As she drove over the speed bump before entering the roundabout, I began to open up. I briefly told her that I still felt the same way I did two years ago, that I had tried to forget about the feelings I had with no success, and that I was sorry to once again ruin our unstable friendship. She told me it was fine and my feelings were natural, nothing to regret or be ashamed of. Her words meant nothing to me this time because I had already heard them. Defeated, I paused for a moment, then said, “Isabella, you reciprocated my feelings in the past, so after Alex, do you think that maybe we’d have a chance?” She looked at me with pain in her eyes, not for herself, but for me. She quietly said, “I- Lincoln, you know I can’t answer that. I’m with Alex now, it wouldn’t be fair.” All I could get out was, “Oh- I- I’m sorry. Uh yeah no, you’re uh- you’re right.” Everything in me pulled and begged at my lips to say what I wanted to, but I couldn’t. I still look back on that night and wish I had said the few words I never got to tell her. What if saying them could’ve changed something? Realistically, it wouldn’t have, but the regret remains. I doubt Isabella would have even remembered where my word choice stemmed from. Regardless, the words rang in my head then, and never stopped. All I wanted to say at that moment was, “but I still need you.” Today, 1,725 days since I first saw Isabella, 822 days since I first facetimed Isabella, and 178 days since that heartbreakingly beautiful night, I still love her the same. Looking back on my experience with her, I regret many things (oversharing, Claire, the snake, etc.), but the one thing I have never regretted was meeting and loving her. It was only recently that I realized that loving her has been one of the biggest mistakes in my life. For three years, day in and day out, I’ve thought about her. Three years where I could have met other people, worked on myself, enjoyed my friends and family, but instead I’ve loved her and nothing, nobody else. The one lesson that was essential for me to take away from my experience was impossible. In eighth grade I was 5’7 and 215 lbs, today I’m 5’10 and 165 lbs. In eighth grade I spent time with my parents, today I hide in my room. In eighth grade, I told people how I felt, now I’m too scared. In eighth grade, I talked about my depression, now I am left alone to deal with it. In eighth grade, I had many friends, now I rarely speak to them. In eighth grade, I needed Isabella, but the one lesson I should’ve learned never took effect. I still need her.

submitted by ProfessorHawkinsJr to confessions [link] [comments]

2024.05.09 22:30 bubblegumpinkish My ex is revealing my past as well as telling things that actually aren't true to my friends and I'm scared I can't convince them I changed.

First of all I'd like to apologize as english isn't my first language and this post is probably going to be really long, and also mention that this is a throwaway acc. To summarize this up, I, 19F used to lie a lot about my life for attention (rather, I exagerrated things that actually happened). It ended up spiraling out of control and I got trapped in my own lies, basically unable to tell the truth as I was just scared to lose all my friends. As much as these weren't harmful lies, not meant to hurt or manipulate anyone, I still feel very bad and guilty about those years and have promised myself to never lie again and did my best to build the life I currently have. Those lies were, for exemple, my mom wasn't the kindest and used to hit me kinda regularly, no one cared about it and I ended up exagerrating the injuries she'd inflict me, or saying I had a shitty health condition, when in reality, I do have health issues, they're just not half as bad as what I had described. This type of stuff. I admit it, it was stupid, I was a kid, I did not realise the consequences of this kind of lies.
I was young (11-12) when I started, but this lasted a long time because I never had the guts to tell people the truth and so people that sticked with me through all these years didn't know what actually had happened. Over the years I tried to cover up by saying "it's better now" or this kind of stuff, so that people would no longer believe I had the miserable life I pretended to have as a young teen. I lost contact with most people from those times, though, last year, I was dating a guy my age whom I'd met when I was 12, and who knew all of those things without knowing they weren't true.
We dated for a year and a half and broke up last summer because I was fed up with how he acted with me and it didn't exactly end on good terms as he threatened to kill himself and tried everything he could to have me back which resulted in me moving from my city. Apparently he spoke with my parents and found out the truth. At this point we already were no contact so when I knew about this I didn't see a point in speaking with him.
So for until three weeks ago we haven't spoke to each other and I pretty much moved on, which due to some issues with my family was kinda forced as I had to move on with my whole life, in fact. I ended up dating my current boyfriend and we moved together in winter, I know this sounds kinda fast but we had known each other for a while and shared a place for multiple months already. Anyways, he contacted me by trying to induce my current boyfriend in leaving me because I "was a monster that only knew how to lie, and will manipulate you until you lose your mind", to which I immediately deleted the conversation from my boyfriends phone (who knows about what I did in the past already, I just did not want to bring up any drama because we were at a friends place, on top of the fact that half of the fat message he had sent was bullshit).
I then contacted him in PM and he said he actually wanted me to answer because I had forgot to send him the keys I had of his appartment and since he was moving soon he needed them back, and he didn't think of a better way to make me react since I had ignored his previous texts about this (I actually forgot about them), so I sent his key through mail the next day. My mistake was answering to his questions about my lies. At first he said he understood, but then he started saying that all I had told he did badly in our relationship was due actually to me lying (for exemple, at the end of our relationship he was cold and reacted in anger to whatever interaction I tried to have with him, and he said it was because he was scared he'd lose me from my "health issues" and tried to prepare for the worst). At first I was like "I understand" and tried to explain to him what had happened and how I didn't realise my lies even impacted him (which is true, I didn't see it, and he never told me).
The whole conversation escalated into him sending horrible messages saying I was a monster for all of this, that I had ruined his life and that I abandonned him when he needed me the most (which was after our break-up apparently, when he insulted me for 3 days straight and blocked me everywhere. How tf was I supposed to know he needed me? Anyways). Apparently he spoke about this to his friends and they (from his saying wrote me a terrible message from his phone (which I suspect was actually his writing because it was first person) saying I had tried to kill him and failed miserably, that I was worst than the pedophile that tried to date me when I was 13 and that he should have let him do his thing because that was all I deserved for what I did. He said he hated me, that I made his life a living hell since he tried to kill himself because of me, and that he would now block me everywhere. Of course I never wanted to hurt him and it was all an accident, and I never even insulted him back when he said such horrible things on me for 5 days, but as much as I understand how he feels I feel like this is going a little too overboard.
I did not reply to that message and he later sent another one saying I didn't even deserve his pity because all this time he tried to protect a monster and he regretted he had even known me in the first place. At this point I just replied "what do you want me to say? Think what you want", because after multiple days of enduring this kind of saying I was just enough and just wanted to close this discussion. I left his phone number unblocked because I didn't know if the package with his keys had arrived yet and didn't want to get in trouble just in case, so I told him to only message me if it was about this, but since my text was never labeled as delivered I'm guessing he had blocked my number already.
Fast forward to today (so around two weeks later), I received two texts, one stating I was really a monster because apparently I did the same "living hell" to my previous ex (which, no, we left on good terms and it was because I was a negative person and he felt bored of our relationship), and that from what my old friends are saying I always had been a bad person. So, this first implies that he went to contact my other ex that I'm currently friend with and share lots of close friends with, and some friends from middle school. I don't know if he is telling the truth or just trying to mess with my anxiety because I know he already had said he told everyone bullshit about me and actually didn't it was just to pressure me, but I'm seriously feeling stressed now because I feel like this man is trying to ruin my whole life and he will not stop until I'm homeless and friendless if my friends side with him. I did not hear from my friends and I did not get blocked or kicked from groups, so I really don't know if he turned them against me, but I don't know what to do with this situation and it is starting to really make me feel stressed. I could really use some advice. If you need some more details don't hesitate to ask. Thanks for reading this.

submitted by bubblegumpinkish to Advice [link] [comments]

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Our customers get through their inboxes twice as fast; many see inbox zero for the first time in years.
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BUILD LOVE 💜 At Superhuman, we deeply understand how to build products that people love. We incorporate fun and play; we infuse magic and joy; we make experiences that amaze and delight.
It all starts with the right team — a team that deeply cares about values, customers, and each other.
CREATE MASSIVE IMPACT 🚀 We're not solving a small problem, and we're not addressing a small market. We're going after email; the one activity that consumes more of our work day than any other.
Our ambition doesn't stop there. Next: calendars, notes, contacts, and tasks. We are building the productivity platform of the future.
DO THE BEST WORK OF YOUR LIFE 🌟 We have created the frameworks for how to build product market fit and redefined the narrative of how to onboard customers successfully. We have shown the world it’s possible to build a premium productivity brand. Our investors include Andreessen Horowitz, First Round Capital, IVP, Tiger Global Management, Sam Altman, and the founders of Gmail, Dropbox, Reddit, Discord, Stripe, GitHub, AngelList, and Intercom.
Our latest financing was led by IVP, and we welcomed Ajay Vashee to our board. Our prior financing was led by Andreessen Horowitz, and we welcomed Marc Andreessen and David Ulevitch to our board.
This time, we’re swinging beyond the fences and fundamentally rethinking how individuals and teams should collaborate. We are building a household brand and a worldwide organization. We are here to do the best work of our lives, and we hope you are too.
ROLE 👩🏽‍💻👨‍💻 Successfully implement Calendar features that enhance user experience and drive user engagement Contribute to the product development process: thinking through UX, designing beautiful UI, and working with customers to solve their problems Help estimate, plan, and complete projects, features, and integrations Champion code quality, new technologies, and architectural design within the company Technologies we use: React, Golang, Postgres, Electron, Google Cloud
SOUND LIKE YOU? 🙌 Experience: You have 5+ years of software engineering experience.

Technical Skills: You’re an expert in frontend technologies such as Javascript or Typescript. You have a strong foundation in software engineering principles that prioritize high-quality, maintainable code that adheres to best practices. You're able to identify problems, propose solutions, and make informed decisions to drive forward our technical efforts. You're comfortable dealing with ambiguity and can think critically to make decisions that benefit the company and our users. Remarkable Quality: You produce work that is striking, worthy of attention, and a contribution to the state of the art. Asynchronous Communicator: You’re effective across various mediums (especially Slack, Notion, and email) and can produce and consume detailed written materials as needed without sacrificing speed. You respond quickly and thoughtfully to unblock others and speed things up. Start-to-Finish Ownership: You act with 100% responsibility for your own outcomes as well as the outcomes of the company. You discuss and debates ideas openly. You focus on the customer and business ‘so what’ and challenge stakeholders to take impactful action. Bias to action: Speed matters. You take rapid and decisive steps forward, even in the face of uncertainty, and recognize that action is the catalyst for progress and growth. Location: We're open to you joining us in our San Francisco office or from a home office anywhere in North or South America.

SALARY INFO 💸 The Software Engineer, Calendar role spans several internal levels and a wide breadth of experience at Superhuman. Our compensation band reflects the potentially broad range of candidates and experience levels that we are open to hiring for this role.
Our starting salaries for this role range from $165,000 - $185,000. The salary range does not reflect total compensation, which includes base salary, benefits, and company stock options.
We are open to candidates in the US, Canada, or Latin America. We take a locally informed approach to non-US-based compensation and will be able to share ranges based on your country of residence.
BENEFITS 🎁 Taking Care of Your Future 🙏

Medical, dental, and vision insurance: 100% coverage for you and 75% coverage for all your dependents. Voluntary insurance: short-term disability, long-term disability, and life insurance. 401(k) plan (we match 75 cents per dollar, up to 4% of your salary). Free access to Northstar, a financial wellness platform that provides financial advisors + personal finance tools.

Generous Time Off 🏝

Enjoy our generous and flexible Paid Time Off (PTO) policy, with our amazing team members taking an average of 20 days per year. 13 additional company holidays, plus your own Care Days, Flexible Holidays, and a company-wide Winter Break. Generous parental, caregiver, healthcare, and compassionate leave policies.

Investing in Your Growth ✍️

$3000 per year towards your professional development. Free access to Calm and Taskhuman. Allyship education program to help build your best self.

Setting You Up For Success 🧑🏻‍💻👩🏾‍💻

Custom MacBook Pro. $1000 budget for workstation setup. $260/month for your lunches, groceries, or whatever nutrition you need to stay fueled up! Flexible spending accounts for commuter costs, dependent care, and healthcare expenses.

At Superhuman, we value diversity. We are an equal opportunity employer: we do not discriminate on the basis of race, religion, color, national origin, gender, sexual orientation, age, marital status, veteran status, or disability status.
Read more / apply: https://www.golangprojects.com/golang-go-job-gmx-Remote-Senior-Software-Engineer-San-Francisco-Superhuman-remotework.html

submitted by golangprojects to jobbit [link] [comments]

2024.05.04 07:14 golangprojects [Hiring] Remote Golang job: Senior Software Engineer at Superhuman (San Francisco, California, United States) Salary: $165,000 - $185,000 USD

Technical Skills: You’re an expert in frontend technologies such as Javascript or Typescript. You have a strong foundation in software engineering principles that prioritize high-quality, maintainable code that adheres to best practices. You're able to identify problems, propose solutions, and make informed decisions to drive forward our technical efforts. You're comfortable dealing with ambiguity and can think critically to make decisions that benefit the company and our users. Remarkable Quality: You produce work that is striking, worthy of attention, and a contribution to the state of the art. Asynchronous Communicator: You’re effective across various mediums (especially Slack, Notion, and email) and can produce and consume detailed written materials as needed without sacrificing speed. You respond quickly and thoughtfully to unblock others and speed things up. Start-to-Finish Ownership: You act with 100% responsibility for your own outcomes as well as the outcomes of the company. You discuss and debates ideas openly. You focus on the customer and business ‘so what’ and challenge stakeholders to take impactful action. Bias to action: Speed matters. You take rapid and decisive steps forward, even in the face of uncertainty, and recognize that action is the catalyst for progress and growth. Location: We're open to you joining us in our San Francisco office or from a home office anywhere in North or South America.

Medical, dental, and vision insurance: 100% coverage for you and 75% coverage for all your dependents. Voluntary insurance: short-term disability, long-term disability, and life insurance. 401(k) plan (we match 75 cents per dollar, up to 4% of your salary). Free access to Northstar, a financial wellness platform that provides financial advisors + personal finance tools.

Generous Time Off 🏝

Enjoy our generous and flexible Paid Time Off (PTO) policy, with our amazing team members taking an average of 20 days per year. 13 additional company holidays, plus your own Care Days, Flexible Holidays, and a company-wide Winter Break. Generous parental, caregiver, healthcare, and compassionate leave policies.

Investing in Your Growth ✍️

$3000 per year towards your professional development. Free access to Calm and Taskhuman. Allyship education program to help build your best self.

Setting You Up For Success 🧑🏻‍💻👩🏾‍💻

Custom MacBook Pro. $1000 budget for workstation setup. $260/month for your lunches, groceries, or whatever nutrition you need to stay fueled up! Flexible spending accounts for commuter costs, dependent care, and healthcare expenses.

submitted by golangprojects to techjobs [link] [comments]

2024.04.30 13:09 Arriani AITAH for not wanting my ex to be happy with the guy she met last week?

I know im young and a lot of people will probably say im over reacting but man i gave that girl everything I could. I'm mainly writing this to come to terms with things and I dont think itll get a lot of traction but stick with me if youre reading.
I (22M) met her (22F) in 2022 through my friend. I was at a point where i was content being by myself and wasnt really looking for anyone but he would always get upset with me for not messaging her because she was upset with him that i didn't message her so one day i just decided to do it. We clicked almost instantly. Looking back it was red flags all over because she was seeing someone although they werent in a relationship. She's studying in the US and im in our home country but we clicked so well we kept talking.
After a couple weeks of us talking literally the entire night every night, she cut things off witht the other guy and fully invested in me. I remember when she first came home for christmas that year, I had a pretty big chem exam on the monday but she had said that I her the saturday and that she's clearing my schedule for me. I found it pretty cute and I did meet her and just pulled and all night aced the course so it wasn't a problem. From then on, we were inseparable. That christmas I went over by her, met her parents and got close enough with them that they invited me to go everywhere with them. They were kind of strict so i could only really go over by her but I'd spend the entire day by her and they'd drop me back home (I had no car).
In december the first blatant red flag showed itself, she had a friend (We will call him #1) that would constantly call her pet names like my princess or baby etc and I had told her thats weird and you should tell him to stop. She said she did but one of the days that i was over by her i noticed that she was talking to her and it was the same pet names. She noticed that I noticed and I asked her if she had told him about it and she said yes then I asked her why's he still doing it then and she just she doesnt know. I told her it made me uncomfortable and since he clearly doesnt respect any boundaries if she could stop talking to him and she just said sure. That same day, the guy she was talking to right before me had messaged her and said hi and she showed me and blocked him without me having to ask her. The rest of christmas went by with nothing much minus the mess up i did which was asking my ex girlfriend that was before her to crochet a panda keychain for her so i could gift it to her (horrible on my part i know).
Skip forward to January and shes back in the US for school and im going to uni in our home country. Im on the phone with her during every second of the day outside of class adn when i wasn't on the phone with her I was messaging her. She had wanted to sleep on calls together and i induldged so we were on the phone even while we slept. Now a couple weeks after she went back the US i felt something change and she got a bit distant but wouldn't tell me no matter what. i ahd started going to the gym with my friend (the same one who introduced us) and I was doing nothing except classes, then a 2 hour gym session in the night. I remember it like it was yesterday, I had went for food with my friend before gym and we ended up going to the airport for subway since it was pretty close to us and I sent her pic and joked that ill hop on a plane and come to her if she wanted to and she just said no. I ended up skipping gym to spend some time with her and see what was bothering her and if she'd tell me. She ended up sayign she feels like i dont spend enough time with her and i felt horrible and started to apologise and tell her that I'd make a more conscious effort to spend less time with my friend and more with her and halfway through me saying that I got a snap from her. She had accidently sent me a flirty snap that she was supposed to send to another guy and when i asked her about it she just said she sent it to the wrong person. After a couple seconds of me saying nothing i guess she realised that she did something wrong and she started to backtrack, saying that she didn't realise it was flirty and whatnot but i just hung up adn went to smoke a cigarette on my steps outside. When I cooled off a bit i was initially going to end things then and there with her because flirting with someone else while we're in a relationship (forgot to mention we got together officially in december) was a major dealbreaker for me but she begged and pleaded and promised and even did SH, i caved and let it slide but it still bothered my for about a week or so before i got over it.
February now, my birthday is right after valentines day and right after my birthday is Carnival. I dont have a lot of money but i wanted to do something special for her because she was coming back home for her spring break a week or so after valentine's day. At the time i couldn't make online purchases or anything because i didnt have a card that allowed me to do so so the only option was asking my mother but my mother and I have a really strained relationship for other reasons and my mother didnt like whenever i was in a relationship so she said no when i asked her if I could use her card to order my then girlfriend some flowers and Ill just give her the cash back. So, instead I opted to do something for when she came back home in a couple of weeks which i explained to her. Valentine's day rolled around and my birthday came the day after and she was acting weird and distant again but i just thought she was sad that I wasn't there or that her dad and stepmom didn't send her flowers that year (they normally did that every year). Her stepmom actually baked me a pretty sweet cake for my birthday and dropped it off for me which was really sweet and i loved it. Anyways, i tried to be there for her during those days and when she came back i was really excited.
The day before she came back I went down to visit her dad and stepmom and asked them if I could stay for a bit to decorate her room etc and they said yea. So my friend (same one who introduced us) took me to the store and i got balloons, flowers, a panda plushie and I had handwrtten her a long love letter and I spent the evening cleaning and decorating her room to make it special. i ended up not liking the flowers so I asked her older sister to take me to the store and i picked up some new flowers and set everything up while managing to hide the surprise from her and just telling my girlfriend that im visiting her parents just to say hi to everyone. The next day comes and goes and she came home and just didn't mention anything which got me a bit down but i brushed it off. I visited her the very next day which was saturday, I woke up early and had been saving up whatever money i had so i could spend it on taxis to go over to her house everyday while she was home.
When I got there i asked if she got my surprise and she just said yea and she was telling her stepmom how i wrote her the letter and was teasing me, starting to read it out for her stepmom and sister to listen to while I (dying of embarassment) begged her not to. her stepmom ended up telling her that its private and to stop, which she did. Fast forward an hour or so and we are on her couch just watching tiktoks on her phone when she gets a message from #1 and at first she tries to play it off as her not knowing why hes messaging her but the message itself was him asking her how her flight was, nothing big. But I asked her open the chat and when she did that was the only message from him, meaning she had deleted whatever messages before where she wouldve told him shes coming home etc and that bothered me because i had asked her to not talk to him for what i think is a good reason and she told me she would. So her still talking to him behind my back and then hiding the messages really bothered me. I ended up almost heading home for the day but i opted not to since it wasn't anything objectively bad. The next day i went down by her and asked to see if there was anything else she was hiding, turns out there were two other guys; one she told to come over (as a joke apparently) and another we will call Jon (important later). Once again, i brushed it off as nothing too bad objectively and though her stepmom had heard the story and had scolded her when I left the day before, we just moved past it.
March, April, May, was more or less uneventful. I had scrapped together some more money and begged her stepmom to order some lego flowers and send it across to her for me because she wanted them and I just paid her in cash. i was also working for my stepdad to get money for a summer trip for me to go and stay by her and see her. Around may was when she started saying she doesnt know if she wants this or could do it because ldr was hard and I told her i understand and if she wants to end things or try with someone else thats in the US as well id understand but she never wanted to break up, she always opted to stay.
July now, I went up and stayed by her for 4 weeks i think it was and we had to split most costs 50/50 to make what money i had last, and I still had to cut the trip a bit short because I was cutting it really close, but it was no problem. I came back home in august and she came a couple days after and i spent every single day by her. Had a couple of sleepovers too because at that point her parents started letting her sister's boyfriend stay over too so they let me as well and we had a lot of fun. While my girlfriend would normally end up going in her room earlier than us, her sister, sister's boyfriend, stepmom and I would stay up and watch movies and make late night gas station trips to get snacks for the night. At that point i was close to her entire family, aunts, uncles, cousins, grandma, everyone. Her uncle had actually invited me to come over for his kid's gender reveal and it was nice. My girlfriend at that point was always getting mad at me for small things like when i wanted to wear pink but she wanted me to wear blue and she also brought up the fact that the distance is too hard for etc almost every other week. A night or so before the gender reveal party she sat me down and said that i dont make her feel appreciated or anything because i appeal to her gift giving love language etc and I remember i couldnt help but let a couple tears fall. We ended up talking for a bit and her sister saw us talking and she ended up getting in trouble with her stepmom because she wasnt understanding im doing everything I could with the amount of money I had. Since all my money was always spent on commuting to her parents house and I just dropped around 1.5k USD on my trip to go visit her, her stepmom was upset with her for demanding more and wanting to end things over that.
That was when her sister, aunts and uncles started to tell her and her parents they she needs to start to treat me better. At that point she had me running up and the down house trailing behind her while she yelled at me for silly things like wanting to go outside and spend time with her family whilst she wanted to sit inside. I remember she called me a day, angry, because one of her aunts told her stepmom to tell her to treat me better and she told me that everyone thinks im so good nad I just sat there confused.
I spent every cent i had on trying to see her as much as possible. Every night I would stay up an hour later just in case she couldnt sleep and wanted someone to talk to, i wasn't going out with my friends nearly as much and if I did she'd be on a call with me. I wasn't studying and was using that time to talk to her but that was okay because it made her happy and I could afford to sacrifce my work and my sleep for her. There were times i pulled all nighters because she asked me to wake up her up at a specific time and i didnt trust myself to wake up in time so id just stay up to wake her up before taking a power nap before my first class. So september passes and we are in october now, this is where it gets juicier.
She had no friends in the US outside of guys she had history with, them liking her etc but she hadnt spoken to them because the last two she had kept in contact with she didnt enforce boundaries. She also didnt leave her apartment much and Id beg her to go out some more and try to make more friends from class or whatever. Id always get really happy for her whenever she said she was going to the mall but she'd want to stay on a call with me through it all and I always had to ask her to go and enjoy herself and to just be safe and let me know when she was home and that she needed time to herself.
At this point her her family and I are basically family too. Id visit them once a month or so to check in and they'd always get angry with me for not visiting them enough and they'd tease me that I only come over when my gf is there. They were inviting me on family outings everytime and her grandma would always tell me she loves me and to come around more. I went to her brother's birthday party there and stayed on a call with her the whole time so she could be there as well. Like i said, shes on the phone with me 24/7 if Im not in a class.
In october now, she gets distant. There was a day october 22nd, we hung up and i took a nap and I woke up around 2pm and she didnt reply to my previous message. SHe had also wanted me to get life360 some time back so i had it for her. A couple hours passed and she wasnt replying to me nor answering my calls and when i checked life 360 her location was off and wasnt loading, More hours passed and I had already messaged my friend to ask if he heard from her and her sister. Her sister checked her Find My location and that location was off as well and its only aorund 8 or 9pm she finally called me and said she went to wynward by herself and didnt feel like picking up my calls or replying she just needed time and space. I was upset and told her that i understand that but next time just let me know so i dont panic thinking something happened to you. A couple days later she got in trouble with her stepmom for 'stressing me out and disappearing' but i just laughed it off.
Now, A couple days later she started telling me wants me to cut off my friend (the one who introduced us). it was out of the blue because she had been saying shes going to stop being friends with him since he started moving different ever since he started liking this other girl (one of my other friends) but i didnt expect her to want me to cut him out of my life seeing that they were really good friends before and this guy and I were almost like brothers. I told her no and it went on for a couple weeks until he blocked her and she stopped asking and demanded. Now, we had many conversations about our future plans, marriage etc. I had gotten into med school at that point and told her after my 3rd year Id propose and stuff and we had a good future plan set; where we'd immigrate, Id convert to islam for her, a good timeline everything. SO she told me that if i want to be in her life i have to cut him off because she doesnt want him in her life at all.
I told her ill go talk to him about it because she wasnt giving me any reason why she hated him so much all of a sudden and thats when she started backtracking saying nevermind and its ok but i had my mind made up to find out what was going on. So he comes and picks me up and I asked wtf is going on between them. He sighs and tells me that a week before Oct 22nd she had a convo w him where she said she still had feelings for him and wanted him back and wants to leave me. i remember that night because we had another fight where she said I was restricting her from going out or making friends (i literally begged her to make friends and to go out) and that I was manipulative and gaslit her. He had the texts to prove it too so i just called her parents, told them I was breaking up with her and then went home. When I got home i asked her for the real reason she wanted me to cut him off and she didnt want to talk really so i just told her what i knew and broke up with her. She didnt react much but after she called me crying and begging and she booked me a flight to go see her in the US, this was a week before a pretty big exam I had in Med school but I still went.
The whole time I was going to the airport, waiting for my flight, boarding, in the air and during my layover flight in panama (it was cheaper to take a layover in panama) she as begging for me back and the whole works. She picked me up from the airport around 10am and i ended up having her apologise to my friends (the one who introduced us and the girl he like because my girlfriend was always really mean to her for no reason) and we talked, she ended up telling me that she only had that conversation with him because she wanted him and the girl he liked to not get together because she thought she was bad for him. A couple days into my stay there and im studying on her ipad for my exam when i got back and she got a message from imessage that popped up on her ipad.
I had flown out sunday morning around 1am and it was wednesday morning at 2:42 am. I was doing a lecture on cancer cells and she was asleep on the bed next to me. I was almost done when I saw the message. It was from Jon. Curious, i opened it and it was the only message and i saw that she had 342 deleted messages from him and 3 other guys. I opened Jons first and the saturday night when I broke up with her she messaged him, rekindlign a friendsship i guess. Whilst I was on the phone with her sending over my passport information, while i was at the airport, while i was flying over to her she was BEGGING me for another chance and it wont happen again and she was also messaging him. To summarise, she was telling him shes so happy its over, that im a loser and she wanted it to end since January. She said she was giggling and that I never did anything for her and that for valentine's i didnt even get her flowers. She said I was stupid because she did what she did for a good reason (Her triyng to break my friends up) and she was promising him that she won't see me again when she goes back him. She told him that she wanted to get to know him, her bed was big enough for a sleepover, the positions she liked, that she'd throw away the baby if he got her pregnant, that raw felt better and more disgusting things that I wouldnt wish my worst enemy to have to see a girl he love say to another guy while she slept peavefully next to him. To end the convo, he asked for some nudes and she sent some boob pics and he sent dick pics and then she told him dont message her for a week cuz she needs space. The morning I landed he had messaged her and she got upset with him, telling him to give her till monday ( i was leaving sunday evening) and then she'd be his. The two other guys were a lot less horrible, just her from august and october saying she misses them and she cant talk to them that much when im over by her every day (it was while i watched movies with her family). its still bad but it wasnt as bad as Jon.
i stumbled out of her apartment and couldnt walk striaght. i was shaking, vomiting and everything. SHe ended up waking up and calling me asking where i was and i went back and sat down and talked to her, asking if there was anything she was hiding and giving her every chance to tell the truth and she lied to the end until i told her that you can see deleted msgs on imessage. Then we had an arguement until the sun came up and I said some things like shes an easy whore out of anger which i deeply regret. I couldnt just leave so i had to stick it out for the rest of the days which i did nad in the end i caved to her pleas under the condition that she'd get therapy since she said her dad and (real) mom's relationship had fucked her up and her mom specifically really fucked her up. (Doormat, I know). So i go back home and barely pass my exam and while im talking to her and making an effort and shes trying her best with therapy and everything, its eating me alive but i tough it out and after my finals she came home and i spent the entire winter break at her parent's house with her, not leaving a single night because her stepmom had plans for me and her sister's boyfriend up until new years and some days after. I can't lie, it was fun because her family celebrated it really nicely and i never had a christmas like that ever.
Fast forward to february 1st this year and things were looking good. She had just gotten out of a therapy session and she called me and broke up with me saying she needs to heal and she doesnt want to be exclusive because she doesnt want to have to consider my feelings but she (allegedly) wont talk to anyone else and not to beg her or try to change her mind, i just said ok and have a good one. I was shattered, crying in ways i never cried before and the whole works because at that point i had sacrificed even my dignity and pride to stay with her through everything. During the first week she was mainly just playing videogames with another friend of hers (lets call him Ant) and that was mainly it while i was in shambles. She told me that he meant a lot to her as a friend and she cant imagine risking losing him as a friend and I asked her if shes fine with risking me forever and she said she thought about it and yea, shes sure she is.
I visited her parents and cried in her stepmom's arms while telling her everything. When i got back home she found out i told her stepmom what she had done in november and she went off the rails, saying i ruined her life and im an asshole and she wants nothing to do with me and to fuck off and get out her life and whatever. I just told her i get it and i just hope she can change for the next person and she said that she could've changed anytime and just didnt want to and im the only one who got that part of her and no else will have to got through that. I didnt say much but we ended up still talking for some time after and she apologised. She flew me out again and i went and it was ok, i found out that Jon had reached out to her again and she hid it but i didnt even care anymore.
She was in contact with my aunt because over winter she had met my aunt and when i had tol dmy aunt what happened my aunt was pissed but long story short there, my aunt told her to leave me tf alone. She and my sister had a good relationship so shed always tell my sister how much she loves me and wants me and my sister would tell me to give her another chance (i didn't tell her why I broke up with my gf). But every 2 weeks shed explode on me again and just say horrible stuff before apologising again. For example, during ramadan I took a sip of alcohol and went off the rails for that saying im disgusting and more. April 6th now, im starting to warm back up to her because i was crazy for this girl. That night she had told me she'll give me a call after she finishes playing with her cousin and brother and Ant and i said ok and when i checked the time it was 2am and she hadnt called. So i messaged her and asked her about it and she went off saying that she told me she cant give me any effort or attention so why do i keep asking for it and that we aren't in a relationship and she cant do it anymore. I just told her ok, i get it, and something in me just snapped and disappeared.
I didnt talk to her for 2 days and I didnt care, then, my sister called her and told her about this girl i was practicing skills with (It was me, the new girl and a couple other friends) and my ex went batshit on me. But i had given up on her already so I just told her we aren't even friends and shes just a mutual friend (which is true). After a day, she came home again and at that point she was all over me. She had gotten out of therapy and was saying that she wants me back and shes changed and its different and she was just obsessed with me but i didnt buy it. So Eid rolls around and her family invites me over so i go and we spend that time together but im still telling her that no, i dont believe what youre now saying and im done.
The saturday after Eid i go back and me, her stepmom and her have a talk and Im still adamant, telling her i dont want her right now but when she graduates if she's still consistent with that and neither of us are in a relationship then we can try something but shes going on, harping on about her only doing those things because of how i manipulated and gaslit her and the reason behind it is her mother and she went through therapy and stuff but im not buying it. She went back to the US the day after for classes. The monday now she calls me and says she messaged the girl (the one my sister told her about) and I just tell her to leave me alone and she starts up, spouting insults and I had enough and just told her I shouldve listened to her family when they said she was just like her mother (Her entire family used to say that).
She was still saying she wants me and loves me and wants to try again and I was still adamant, telling her that I do still love her because i can't stop just like that after loving her so much for so long, but I stopped seeing a that future with her when she did what she did in november and that I cant forget. I told her to give me time and let me heal from what she caused and we can see again next year because it wont be the same as it was if we get into a relationship right now. Turns out that she was talking to some other guy that looked similar to me for day while she was begging for me but i didnt care. Im studying for finals and shes calling me every 5 minutes and while i answer everytime I keep telling her to let me study and leave me be. Then i tell her she needs to move on and make friends to distract her.
Last wednesday now, she goes out for a the entire night with some dude who had messaged her on Instagram the week before (she told me an hour before she left that he had asked her out and she said no). When she comes home she says she had nothing to do so she went but it was just as friends but hes really nice and he has a nice car and everything. I just told her ok and she said that she still wants me and to give her another chance etc but i stick to what ive been saying. The next day she called me and said the same thing but she said that he asked her out again and shes not going to go because she was coming home the day after and she wants to see me. Of course, she goes out with him. But an hour before he picked her up she called and told me hes just a friend, she does like him, she sees nothing with him and hes nice yea and they have all these plans for when she goes back to the US and they took such cute pics together the night before but hes just a friend. Friday morning she makes a 180, saying shes going to try things with him and hes really nice and she wants to see where things go and shes ready for a pure love. She comes back home and friday night i called her stepmom.
WHen she was home for Eid her stepmom had asked me why im not giving her another chance because look how serious she sounds and shes cutting herself because shes so distraught. I told her that it isnt the 1st, 2nd or 3rd time and everytime she doesnt change. I told her that when she goes back to the US, within a week or two she'll stop completely and find someone else.
So i had called her stepmom to tell her that i was right and my ex called me in the night to tell me i shouldnt have told her parents anything and shes done with me, doesnt love me, told me all the good things about this new guy and that he treats her better in that one week than I ever had and that she thinks hes the one (She used to say that about me up to the day before) and that while hes busy during hte day and isnt active nor really replies to her during the day, she just busies herself so its ok. She ended up blocking me.
One of her cousins messaged me and said that hes all shes talking about and that she showed her a picture of the two of them hugging tightly and asked her if she saw his nice car etc but she already started complaining how theres a bit of a language barrier and that when she messages him on one app about something serious, he just goes to another app and starts another conversation there.
I saw his instagram last night and ended up accidently liking one of his posts and within minutes he had me blocked and she also had me blocked on instagram. I messaged her and asked her to give me a quick call because i just want some closure and she just told me to leave her alone. She wants nothing to do with me, does not and will not think about me now or in the future, she doesnt like nor love me and that its my fault i pushed her away, told her I hate her and that shes just like her mom. i told her i never said i hated her, i only told her i still love her but cant forget what she did and that i dont want to tell her I love oyu because i dont want her thinking everything is fine when its not. She said that im making up my own crazy delusions and to get over it, shes done and doesnt want me at all and shes happy with someone else and to stop bothering her and her family. Her step has bene nothing but supportive of me.
I feel like i didn't deserve what this girl put me through. I gave her so many chances and fixed so much of her. now she's giving someone else whom she met a week ago everything i begged her for. I want her back, trust me when i say i dont. I just miss the person I thought she was.
I didn't deserve any of it.
I know what she says about me and its fine, I loved her more than anything else and everyone saw it. I did everything i could and much more and everything saw it, except her. i want her to regret it a lot, perhaps she is changed for him, but I want there to come a day she has to unblock me to reach out to me, just for the closure that she regrets it. I really really want her to regret not valuing me as much as i valued her. I want her to regret throwing away every chance i gave her to show that she's changed and can finally love me the way I deserved, because i showed her what it was like to be loved without restraint. I just want her to regret it. I didnt deserve a single bit of it at all and its eating me away knowing that I didn't while she laughs with him. I know how she was with me so i know how she is with him and while im at my lowest, unable to sleep at night because i get nightmares of that girl, shes happier than ever. Im not happy for her at all, as a matter of fact, I hate that shes so much happier than me because i Deserved that. I deserved to get the good parts of her and all i got was the worst parts that no one else had to get. She actually admitted that she gave me the worst parts of herself and only me because i was there and she doesnt know why she did it really. I didnt deserve what I got, I deserved the pure love.
Sometimes you love the wrong people, doesnt mean you have to change the way you love. Sorry for the storybook and word vomit. If theres anyone who actually read the whole thing, i appreciate it. Just needed to get it off my chest really. Stay safe out there people.

submitted by Arriani to AITAH [link] [comments]

2024.04.30 12:54 Arriani My (21M) ex (22F) blocked me on everything and is happy with someone new

I know im young and a lot of people will probably say im over reacting but man i gave that girl everything I could. I'm mainly writing this to come to terms with things and I dont think itll get a lot of traction but stick with me if youre reading.
I met her in 2022 through my friend. I was at a point where i was content being by myself and wasnt really looking for anyone but he would always get upset with me for not messaging her because she was upset with him that i didn't message her so one day i just decided to do it. We clicked almost instantly. Looking back it was red flags all over because she was seeing someone although they werent in a relationship. She's studying in the US and im in our home country but we clicked so well we kept talking.
After a couple weeks of us talking literally the entire night every night, she cut things off witht the other guy and fully invested in me. I remember when she first came home for christmas that year, I had a pretty big chem exam on the monday but she had said that I her the saturday and that she's clearing my schedule for me. I found it pretty cute and I did meet her and just pulled and all night aced the course so it wasn't a problem. From then on, we were inseparable. That christmas I went over by her, met her parents and got close enough with them that they invited me to go everywhere with them. They were kind of strict so i could only really go over by her but I'd spend the entire day by her and they'd drop me back home (I had no car).
In december the first blatant red flag showed itself, she had a friend (We will call him #1) that would constantly call her pet names like my princess or baby etc and I had told her thats weird and you should tell him to stop. She said she did but one of the days that i was over by her i noticed that she was talking to her and it was the same pet names. She noticed that I noticed and I asked her if she had told him about it and she said yes then I asked her why's he still doing it then and she just she doesnt know. I told her it made me uncomfortable and since he clearly doesnt respect any boundaries if she could stop talking to him and she just said sure. That same day, the guy she was talking to right before me had messaged her and said hi and she showed me and blocked him without me having to ask her. The rest of christmas went by with nothing much minus the mess up i did which was asking my ex girlfriend that was before her to crochet a panda keychain for her so i could gift it to her (horrible on my part i know).
Skip forward to January and shes back in the US for school and im going to uni in our home country. Im on the phone with her during every second of the day outside of class adn when i wasn't on the phone with her I was messaging her. She had wanted to sleep on calls together and i induldged so we were on the phone even while we slept. Now a couple weeks after she went back the US i felt something change and she got a bit distant but wouldn't tell me no matter what. i ahd started going to the gym with my friend (the same one who introduced us) and I was doing nothing except classes, then a 2 hour gym session in the night. I remember it like it was yesterday, I had went for food with my friend before gym and we ended up going to the airport for subway since it was pretty close to us and I sent her pic and joked that ill hop on a plane and come to her if she wanted to and she just said no. I ended up skipping gym to spend some time with her and see what was bothering her and if she'd tell me. She ended up sayign she feels like i dont spend enough time with her and i felt horrible and started to apologise and tell her that I'd make a more conscious effort to spend less time with my friend and more with her and halfway through me saying that I got a snap from her. She had accidently sent me a flirty snap that she was supposed to send to another guy and when i asked her about it she just said she sent it to the wrong person. After a couple seconds of me saying nothing i guess she realised that she did something wrong and she started to backtrack, saying that she didn't realise it was flirty and whatnot but i just hung up adn went to smoke a cigarette on my steps outside. When I cooled off a bit i was initially going to end things then and there with her because flirting with someone else while we're in a relationship (forgot to mention we got together officially in december) was a major dealbreaker for me but she begged and pleaded and promised and even did SH, i caved and let it slide but it still bothered my for about a week or so before i got over it.
February now, my birthday is right after valentines day and right after my birthday is Carnival. I dont have a lot of money but i wanted to do something special for her because she was coming back home for her spring break a week or so after valentine's day. At the time i couldn't make online purchases or anything because i didnt have a card that allowed me to do so so the only option was asking my mother but my mother and I have a really strained relationship for other reasons and my mother didnt like whenever i was in a relationship so she said no when i asked her if I could use her card to order my then girlfriend some flowers and Ill just give her the cash back. So, instead I opted to do something for when she came back home in a couple of weeks which i explained to her. Valentine's day rolled around and my birthday came the day after and she was acting weird and distant again but i just thought she was sad that I wasn't there or that her dad and stepmom didn't send her flowers that year (they normally did that every year). Her stepmom actually baked me a pretty sweet cake for my birthday and dropped it off for me which was really sweet and i loved it. Anyways, i tried to be there for her during those days and when she came back i was really excited.
The day before she came back I went down to visit her dad and stepmom and asked them if I could stay for a bit to decorate her room etc and they said yea. So my friend (same one who introduced us) took me to the store and i got balloons, flowers, a panda plushie and I had handwrtten her a long love letter and I spent the evening cleaning and decorating her room to make it special. i ended up not liking the flowers so I asked her older sister to take me to the store and i picked up some new flowers and set everything up while managing to hide the surprise from her and just telling my girlfriend that im visiting her parents just to say hi to everyone. The next day comes and goes and she came home and just didn't mention anything which got me a bit down but i brushed it off. I visited her the very next day which was saturday, I woke up early and had been saving up whatever money i had so i could spend it on taxis to go over to her house everyday while she was home.
When I got there i asked if she got my surprise and she just said yea and she was telling her stepmom how i wrote her the letter and was teasing me, starting to read it out for her stepmom and sister to listen to while I (dying of embarassment) begged her not to. her stepmom ended up telling her that its private and to stop, which she did. Fast forward an hour or so and we are on her couch just watching tiktoks on her phone when she gets a message from #1 and at first she tries to play it off as her not knowing why hes messaging her but the message itself was him asking her how her flight was, nothing big. But I asked her open the chat and when she did that was the only message from him, meaning she had deleted whatever messages before where she wouldve told him shes coming home etc and that bothered me because i had asked her to not talk to him for what i think is a good reason and she told me she would. So her still talking to him behind my back and then hiding the messages really bothered me. I ended up almost heading home for the day but i opted not to since it wasn't anything objectively bad. The next day i went down by her and asked to see if there was anything else she was hiding, turns out there were two other guys; one she told to come over (as a joke apparently) and another we will call Jon (important later). Once again, i brushed it off as nothing too bad objectively and though her stepmom had heard the story and had scolded her when I left the day before, we just moved past it.
March, April, May, was more or less uneventful. I had scrapped together some more money and begged her stepmom to order some lego flowers and send it across to her for me because she wanted them and I just paid her in cash. i was also working for my stepdad to get money for a summer trip for me to go and stay by her and see her. Around may was when she started saying she doesnt know if she wants this or could do it because ldr was hard and I told her i understand and if she wants to end things or try with someone else thats in the US as well id understand but she never wanted to break up, she always opted to stay.
July now, I went up and stayed by her for 4 weeks i think it was and we had to split most costs 50/50 to make what money i had last, and I still had to cut the trip a bit short because I was cutting it really close, but it was no problem. I came back home in august and she came a couple days after and i spent every single day by her. Had a couple of sleepovers too because at that point her parents started letting her sister's boyfriend stay over too so they let me as well and we had a lot of fun. While my girlfriend would normally end up going in her room earlier than us, her sister, sister's boyfriend, stepmom and I would stay up and watch movies and make late night gas station trips to get snacks for the night. At that point i was close to her entire family, aunts, uncles, cousins, grandma, everyone. Her uncle had actually invited me to come over for his kid's gender reveal and it was nice. My girlfriend at that point was always getting mad at me for small things like when i wanted to wear pink but she wanted me to wear blue and she also brought up the fact that the distance is too hard for etc almost every other week. A night or so before the gender reveal party she sat me down and said that i dont make her feel appreciated or anything because i appeal to her gift giving love language etc and I remember i couldnt help but let a couple tears fall. We ended up talking for a bit and her sister saw us talking and she ended up getting in trouble with her stepmom because she wasnt understanding im doing everything I could with the amount of money I had. Since all my money was always spent on commuting to her parents house and I just dropped around 1.5k USD on my trip to go visit her, her stepmom was upset with her for demanding more and wanting to end things over that.
That was when her sister, aunts and uncles started to tell her and her parents they she needs to start to treat me better. At that point she had me running up and the down house trailing behind her while she yelled at me for silly things like wanting to go outside and spend time with her family whilst she wanted to sit inside. I remember she called me a day, angry, because one of her aunts told her stepmom to tell her to treat me better and she told me that everyone thinks im so good nad I just sat there confused.
I spent every cent i had on trying to see her as much as possible. Every night I would stay up an hour later just in case she couldnt sleep and wanted someone to talk to, i wasn't going out with my friends nearly as much and if I did she'd be on a call with me. I wasn't studying and was using that time to talk to her but that was okay because it made her happy and I could afford to sacrifce my work and my sleep for her. There were times i pulled all nighters because she asked me to wake up her up at a specific time and i didnt trust myself to wake up in time so id just stay up to wake her up before taking a power nap before my first class. So september passes and we are in october now, this is where it gets juicier.
She had no friends in the US outside of guys she had history with, them liking her etc but she hadnt spoken to them because the last two she had kept in contact with she didnt enforce boundaries. She also didnt leave her apartment much and Id beg her to go out some more and try to make more friends from class or whatever. Id always get really happy for her whenever she said she was going to the mall but she'd want to stay on a call with me through it all and I always had to ask her to go and enjoy herself and to just be safe and let me know when she was home and that she needed time to herself.
At this point her her family and I are basically family too. Id visit them once a month or so to check in and they'd always get angry with me for not visiting them enough and they'd tease me that I only come over when my gf is there. They were inviting me on family outings everytime and her grandma would always tell me she loves me and to come around more. I went to her brother's birthday party there and stayed on a call with her the whole time so she could be there as well. Like i said, shes on the phone with me 24/7 if Im not in a class.
In october now, she gets distant. There was a day october 22nd, we hung up and i took a nap and I woke up around 2pm and she didnt reply to my previous message. SHe had also wanted me to get life360 some time back so i had it for her. A couple hours passed and she wasnt replying to me nor answering my calls and when i checked life 360 her location was off and wasnt loading, More hours passed and I had already messaged my friend to ask if he heard from her and her sister. Her sister checked her Find My location and that location was off as well and its only aorund 8 or 9pm she finally called me and said she went to wynward by herself and didnt feel like picking up my calls or replying she just needed time and space. I was upset and told her that i understand that but next time just let me know so i dont panic thinking something happened to you. A couple days later she got in trouble with her stepmom for 'stressing me out and disappearing' but i just laughed it off.
Now, A couple days later she started telling me wants me to cut off my friend (the one who introduced us). it was out of the blue because she had been saying shes going to stop being friends with him since he started moving different ever since he started liking this other girl (one of my other friends) but i didnt expect her to want me to cut him out of my life seeing that they were really good friends before and this guy and I were almost like brothers. I told her no and it went on for a couple weeks until he blocked her and she stopped asking and demanded. Now, we had many conversations about our future plans, marriage etc. I had gotten into med school at that point and told her after my 3rd year Id propose and stuff and we had a good future plan set; where we'd immigrate, Id convert to islam for her, a good timeline everything. SO she told me that if i want to be in her life i have to cut him off because she doesnt want him in her life at all.
I told her ill go talk to him about it because she wasnt giving me any reason why she hated him so much all of a sudden and thats when she started backtracking saying nevermind and its ok but i had my mind made up to find out what was going on. So he comes and picks me up and I asked wtf is going on between them. He sighs and tells me that a week before Oct 22nd she had a convo w him where she said she still had feelings for him and wanted him back and wants to leave me. i remember that night because we had another fight where she said I was restricting her from going out or making friends (i literally begged her to make friends and to go out) and that I was manipulative and gaslit her. He had the texts to prove it too so i just called her parents, told them I was breaking up with her and then went home. When I got home i asked her for the real reason she wanted me to cut him off and she didnt want to talk really so i just told her what i knew and broke up with her. She didnt react much but after she called me crying and begging and she booked me a flight to go see her in the US, this was a week before a pretty big exam I had in Med school but I still went.
The whole time I was going to the airport, waiting for my flight, boarding, in the air and during my layover flight in panama (it was cheaper to take a layover in panama) she as begging for me back and the whole works. She picked me up from the airport around 10am and i ended up having her apologise to my friends (the one who introduced us and the girl he like because my girlfriend was always really mean to her for no reason) and we talked, she ended up telling me that she only had that conversation with him because she wanted him and the girl he liked to not get together because she thought she was bad for him. A couple days into my stay there and im studying on her ipad for my exam when i got back and she got a message from imessage that popped up on her ipad.
I had flown out sunday morning around 1am and it was wednesday morning at 2:42 am. I was doing a lecture on cancer cells and she was asleep on the bed next to me. I was almost done when I saw the message. It was from Jon. Curious, i opened it and it was the only message and i saw that she had 342 deleted messages from him and 3 other guys. I opened Jons first and the saturday night when I broke up with her she messaged him, rekindlign a friendsship i guess. Whilst I was on the phone with her sending over my passport information, while i was at the airport, while i was flying over to her she was BEGGING me for another chance and it wont happen again and she was also messaging him. To summarise, she was telling him shes so happy its over, that im a loser and she wanted it to end since January. She said she was giggling and that I never did anything for her and that for valentine's i didnt even get her flowers. She said I was stupid because she did what she did for a good reason (Her triyng to break my friends up) and she was promising him that she won't see me again when she goes back him. She told him that she wanted to get to know him, her bed was big enough for a sleepover, the positions she liked, that she'd throw away the baby if he got her pregnant, that raw felt better and more disgusting things that I wouldnt wish my worst enemy to have to see a girl he love say to another guy while she slept peavefully next to him. To end the convo, he asked for some nudes and she sent some boob pics and he sent dick pics and then she told him dont message her for a week cuz she needs space. The morning I landed he had messaged her and she got upset with him, telling him to give her till monday ( i was leaving sunday evening) and then she'd be his. The two other guys were a lot less horrible, just her from august and october saying she misses them and she cant talk to them that much when im over by her every day (it was while i watched movies with her family). its still bad but it wasnt as bad as Jon.
i stumbled out of her apartment and couldnt walk striaght. i was shaking, vomiting and everything. SHe ended up waking up and calling me asking where i was and i went back and sat down and talked to her, asking if there was anything she was hiding and giving her every chance to tell the truth and she lied to the end until i told her that you can see deleted msgs on imessage. Then we had an arguement until the sun came up and I said some things like shes an easy whore out of anger which i deeply regret. I couldnt just leave so i had to stick it out for the rest of the days which i did nad in the end i caved to her pleas under the condition that she'd get therapy since she said her dad and (real) mom's relationship had fucked her up and her mom specifically really fucked her up. (Doormat, I know). So i go back home and barely pass my exam and while im talking to her and making an effort and shes trying her best with therapy and everything, its eating me alive but i tough it out and after my finals she came home and i spent the entire winter break at her parent's house with her, not leaving a single night because her stepmom had plans for me and her sister's boyfriend up until new years and some days after. I can't lie, it was fun because her family celebrated it really nicely and i never had a christmas like that ever.
Fast forward to february 1st this year and things were looking good. She had just gotten out of a therapy session and she called me and broke up with me saying she needs to heal and she doesnt want to be exclusive because she doesnt want to have to consider my feelings but she (allegedly) wont talk to anyone else and not to beg her or try to change her mind, i just said ok and have a good one. I was shattered, crying in ways i never cried before and the whole works because at that point i had sacrificed even my dignity and pride to stay with her through everything. During the first week she was mainly just playing videogames with another friend of hers (lets call him Ant) and that was mainly it while i was in shambles. She told me that he meant a lot to her as a friend and she cant imagine risking losing him as a friend and I asked her if shes fine with risking me forever and she said she thought about it and yea, shes sure she is.
I visited her parents and cried in her stepmom's arms while telling her everything. When i got back home she found out i told her stepmom what she had done in november and she went off the rails, saying i ruined her life and im an asshole and she wants nothing to do with me and to fuck off and get out her life and whatever. I just told her i get it and i just hope she can change for the next person and she said that she could've changed anytime and just didnt want to and im the only one who got that part of her and no else will have to got through that. I didnt say much but we ended up still talking for some time after and she apologised. She flew me out again and i went and it was ok, i found out that Jon had reached out to her again and she hid it but i didnt even care anymore.
She was in contact with my aunt because over winter she had met my aunt and when i had tol dmy aunt what happened my aunt was pissed but long story short there, my aunt told her to leave me tf alone. She and my sister had a good relationship so shed always tell my sister how much she loves me and wants me and my sister would tell me to give her another chance (i didn't tell her why I broke up with my gf). But every 2 weeks shed explode on me again and just say horrible stuff before apologising again. For example, during ramadan I took a sip of alcohol and went off the rails for that saying im disgusting and more. April 6th now, im starting to warm back up to her because i was crazy for this girl. That night she had told me she'll give me a call after she finishes playing with her cousin and brother and Ant and i said ok and when i checked the time it was 2am and she hadnt called. So i messaged her and asked her about it and she went off saying that she told me she cant give me any effort or attention so why do i keep asking for it and that we aren't in a relationship and she cant do it anymore. I just told her ok, i get it, and something in me just snapped and disappeared.
I didnt talk to her for 2 days and I didnt care, then, my sister called her and told her about this girl i was practicing skills with (It was me, the new girl and a couple other friends) and my ex went batshit on me. But i had given up on her already so I just told her we aren't even friends and shes just a mutual friend (which is true). After a day, she came home again and at that point she was all over me. She had gotten out of therapy and was saying that she wants me back and shes changed and its different and she was just obsessed with me but i didnt buy it. So Eid rolls around and her family invites me over so i go and we spend that time together but im still telling her that no, i dont believe what youre now saying and im done.
The saturday after Eid i go back and me, her stepmom and her have a talk and Im still adamant, telling her i dont want her right now but when she graduates if she's still consistent with that and neither of us are in a relationship then we can try something but shes going on, harping on about her only doing those things because of how i manipulated and gaslit her and the reason behind it is her mother and she went through therapy and stuff but im not buying it. She went back to the US the day after for classes. The monday now she calls me and says she messaged the girl (the one my sister told her about) and I just tell her to leave me alone and she starts up, spouting insults and I had enough and just told her I shouldve listened to her family when they said she was just like her mother (Her entire family used to say that).
She was still saying she wants me and loves me and wants to try again and I was still adamant, telling her that I do still love her because i can't stop just like that after loving her so much for so long, but I stopped seeing a that future with her when she did what she did in november and that I cant forget. I told her to give me time and let me heal from what she caused and we can see again next year because it wont be the same as it was if we get into a relationship right now. Turns out that she was talking to some other guy that looked similar to me for day while she was begging for me but i didnt care. Im studying for finals and shes calling me every 5 minutes and while i answer everytime I keep telling her to let me study and leave me be. Then i tell her she needs to move on and make friends to distract her.
Last wednesday now, she goes out for a the entire night with some dude who had messaged her on Instagram the week before (she told me an hour before she left that he had asked her out and she said no). When she comes home she says she had nothing to do so she went but it was just as friends but hes really nice and he has a nice car and everything. I just told her ok and she said that she still wants me and to give her another chance etc but i stick to what ive been saying. The next day she called me and said the same thing but she said that he asked her out again and shes not going to go because she was coming home the day after and she wants to see me. Of course, she goes out with him. But an hour before he picked her up she called and told me hes just a friend, she does like him, she sees nothing with him and hes nice yea and they have all these plans for when she goes back to the US and they took such cute pics together the night before but hes just a friend. Friday morning she makes a 180, saying shes going to try things with him and hes really nice and she wants to see where things go and shes ready for a pure love. She comes back home and friday night i called her stepmom.
WHen she was home for Eid her stepmom had asked me why im not giving her another chance because look how serious she sounds and shes cutting herself because shes so distraught. I told her that it isnt the 1st, 2nd or 3rd time and everytime she doesnt change. I told her that when she goes back to the US, within a week or two she'll stop completely and find someone else.
So i had called her stepmom to tell her that i was right and my ex called me in the night to tell me i shouldnt have told her parents anything and shes done with me, doesnt love me, told me all the good things about this new guy and that he treats her better in that one week than I ever had and that she thinks hes the one (She used to say that about me up to the day before) and that while hes busy during hte day and isnt active nor really replies to her during the day, she just busies herself so its ok. She ended up blocking me.
One of her cousins messaged me and said that hes all shes talking about and that she showed her a picture of the two of them hugging tightly and asked her if she saw his nice car etc but she already started complaining how theres a bit of a language barrier and that when she messages him on one app about something serious, he just goes to another app and starts another conversation there.
I saw his instagram last night and ended up accidently liking one of his posts and within minutes he had me blocked and she also had me blocked on instagram. I messaged her and asked her to give me a quick call because i just want some closure and she just told me to leave her alone. She wants nothing to do with me, does not and will not think about me now or in the future, she doesnt like nor love me and that its my fault i pushed her away, told her I hate her and that shes just like her mom. i told her i never said i hated her, i only told her i still love her but cant forget what she did and that i dont want to tell her I love oyu because i dont want her thinking everything is fine when its not. She said that im making up my own crazy delusions and to get over it, shes done and doesnt want me at all and shes happy with someone else and to stop bothering her and her family. Her step has bene nothing but supportive of me.
I feel like i didn't deserve what this girl put me through. I gave her so many chances and fixed so much of her. now she's giving someone else whom she met a week ago everything i begged her for. I want her back, trust me when i say i dont. I just miss the person I thought she was.
I didn't deserve any of it.
I know what she says about me and its fine, I loved her more than anything else and everyone saw it. I did everything i could and much more and everything saw it, except her. i want her to regret it a lot, perhaps she is changed for him, but I want there to come a day she has to unblock me to reach out to me, just for the closure that she regrets it. I really really want her to regret not valuing me as much as i valued her. I want her to regret throwing away every chance i gave her to show that she's changed and can finally love me the way I deserved, because i showed her what it was like to be loved without restraint. I just want her to regret it. I didnt deserve a single bit of it at all and its eating me away knowing that I didn't while she laughs with him. I know how she was with me so i know how she is with him and while im at my lowest, unable to sleep at night because i get nightmares of that girl, shes happier than ever. Im not happy for her at all, as a matter of fact, I hate that shes so much happier than me because i Deserved that. I deserved to get the good parts of her and all i got was the worst parts that no one else had to get. She actually admitted that she gave me the worst parts of herself and only me because i was there and she doesnt know why she did it really. I didnt deserve what I got, I deserved the pure love.
Sometimes you love the wrong people, doesnt mean you have to change the way you love. Sorry for the storybook and word vomit. If theres anyone who actually read the whole thing, i appreciate it. Just needed to get it off my chest really. Stay safe out there people.

submitted by Arriani to Truthoffmychest [link] [comments]

2024.04.29 00:26 Puzzleheaded_Cat7114 My Ex (21F) expects me(19) to financially and emotionally supporter her.

She and I have been split up for a year and a half solid now. We were together for almost 5-6 years. We grew up together, healed each other from all kinds of traumas and created so many more. Two years ago she got pregnant. We were living in the loft of a pole barn through the summer and beginning of winter. I was needless to say your average deadbeat (smokes tons of weed, can’t maintain work/income, selling drugs to do what I could to feed my habits. She was working full time as a Traffic Control Flagger, while I was tending to my family who’s property we lived on, ate their food, moved into their house come winter (we only stayed in the barn because my ex didn’t want to be around my(severely autistic) baby cousin who my grandma and uncle who lived at the house took care of full time. To say the least it was not the ideal environment for my ex let alone a new born. The pregnancy was beyond rough for her. She couldn’t keep food down regardless of what it was. No sleep, still working to pay for insurance on her car I had paid for off fb marketplace, her phone bill and whatever else she could afford after that. Eventually she couldn’t take it anymore. Don’t quote me but I believe she was 5-6 weeks. For our state that was the limit for an abortion. Through a lot of crying among things said she asked me if I supported her getting the abortion. I said yes. I didn’t want to bring my child into this world with the person I was. Afterwards she began to hold more and more animosity towards me. Eventually she threatened that she wanted to leave, I hadn’t changed from who I was, I said, okay I’ll help you pack. Flat out. No remorse just anger. She fought with me and my outburst led me to taking off on foot walking down the highway and taking side roads across state line towards my Mom and Stepdad lived on the phone with my brother who lived there. While I was walking she had packed everything and cleaned up the room from her packing and me being at the point of breaking. I was maybe halfway there and she had rolled up next to me in her car begging for me to just get in and talk about it all. (Me being dead set on how I felt) I just kept walking and arguing with her. If she truly wanted to leave and be done with it all didn’t want any part in any of it. My stepdad had been looped in on what was going on and came by to pick me up to which I gladly got in his car (still arguing with her) to which she left as soon as I closed the door(all the windows were down it wasn’t like I had walled her off all together. Fast forward two weeks she had gone back to live with her mom, trying to contact me the entire two weeks which after another argument over the phone I had blocked her. Eventually I began to talk to her again and she made her feelings clear but still wanted me to stay with her at her moms to which I abliged (we’ve lived together for 3-4 years at this point, being without eschother in a codependent, toxic situation only added to the issues we had prior to the break up. Overall we only grew more apart.
In the first year of the breakup I was dead set on doing whatever I could to try to better myself for he“trying to win her back” as she calls it. I had a job working for $12/hr putting everything I had towards trying to help her with her bills when she couldn’t get work anymore after an issue with her last job. Eventually a family friend reached out with an opportunity I couldn’t deny. He offered me 50/hrs a week at $20. The most legal money I had ever made, she slowly became more and more friendly with these guy friends then telling me about it because “I’m the closest person she has to her” She made it clear she wanted the attention from her male friends more than me so I left state to West Virginia for 3months . We stayed in contact (still arguing frequently) until I finally said I couldn’t watch her try to love someone else while still trying to keep me around, I blocked her .
Towards my last month there I had unblocked her and reached out replying to a paragraph she had left me. The phone calls started and slowly we started being okay with eachother again other than when she would talk about the guys she would bring to her house or go to theirs.
It was getting close to her birthday and I had promised I would be home for it. She had another guy go in place of me since we had argued about him the day before. I spent 4-5 months doing odd jobs, trying to get my license, partying with old friends. Things finally started looking up. I had more or less just started replying whenever she would text or call but never reaching out first. Whenever I did she would answer abruptly say she couldn’t talk and hang up. Eventually shit happened at her moms and she couldn’t stay there anymore and came crying to me asking if she could live with me. I said no and she went off to go live with the guy who showed up with her at my house that night. Eventually leaving his house and coming back to me again because he was controlling and aparrently they were together to which she never mentioned to me. (She had slept with me twice while she was living with him, hopping back and forth between my bed and his until I eventually just told her to move her stuff in.
She would stay at my house maybe two times a week. She worked down the road from my house(5-10mins) decided I couldn’t take living like this anymore and fought tooth and nail to get into a factory with my friend. Fast forward 3 months she’s trying to get an apartment and asks if I’ll co-sign I told her yes but I had a criteria: I didn’t want to be around her guy friends/dudes she’s slept with while we’ve been split up. Long story short she got approved by herself and expects me to be there to support her financially. I’ve helped her pay on it twice now and have told her I can’t keep helping her and not myself. I have no vehicle, no money in savings. Am I the asshole for not wanting to support her when we aren’t together don’t plan to and haven’t been together?
There is 100% context missing from this, I’m posting before work and trying my best to explain the situation without ranting on.

submitted by Puzzleheaded_Cat7114 to AITAH [link] [comments]

2024.04.28 23:21 Riconstruct Protect Your Home: Seasonal Home Maintenance Checklist

Protect Your Home: Seasonal Home Maintenance Checklist
Seasonal home maintenance is crucial for preserving the integrity and value of your home. Regular check-ups can prevent costly repairs and ensure your home remains a safe and comfortable place for you and your family. Here’s why we at Riconstruct think it's important and how you can keep up with it throughout the year.

Why Seasonal Maintenance is Essential:

Preserving Home Value: Regular maintenance helps maintain or even increase your home's market value.
Preventing Major Repairs: Catching small issues early can prevent them from becoming expensive problems.
Energy Efficiency: Seasonal checks can identify opportunities to improve energy efficiency, potentially lowering utility bills.
Safety: Routine maintenance ensures that safety hazards are addressed before they pose a risk to your household.

Seasonal Checklist:

Spring:

Inspect Roof: Check for any winter damage like missing shingles or leaks.
Clean Gutters and Downspouts: Clear debris to prevent water buildup and damage.
Seal Windows and Doors: Check seals for gaps where air can escape to improve energy efficiency and comfort.
Service HVAC: Ensure your air conditioning is ready for the upcoming warm months.

Summer:

Inspect Deck and Patios: Check for wear, tear, and structural safety.
Check Detectors: Test smoke and carbon monoxide detectors and replace batteries.
Landscaping: Trim overgrowth to prevent pests and ensure plants aren’t causing moisture buildup against the house.
Inspect Plumbing: Look for leaks and clogs that could escalate during heavy summer usage.

Fall:

Prepare Heating System: Have your heating system checked and serviced to ensure it’s ready for colder temperatures.
Check Insulation: Make sure insulation is adequate to retain heat during the winter.
Secure Windows and Doors: Ensure all openings are secure against colder temperatures.
Gutter Maintenance: Clear leaves and debris to prevent ice damming in the winter.

Winter:

Interior Inspection: Check for drafts around windows and doors, and ensure heating vents are unblocked.
Check the Roof and Chimney: Ensure they are free from snow buildup which can be heavy and damaging.
Test Electrical Systems: Ensure all indoor and outdoor electrical systems are safe and fully functional.
Emergency Kit: Ensure your home emergency kit is stocked with supplies and ready in case of power outages or severe weather.

Closing Thoughts:

Regular Seasonal home maintenance is not just about fixing things that are broken; it's about proactive care that keeps your home running smoothly and prevents unexpected problems. You can always pick up necessary supplies at your local Home Depot or Rona. By following this seasonal checklist, you can ensure that your home remains in top condition year-round. Dont forget Riconstruct's always got your back!

submitted by Riconstruct to TorontoHomeRepair [link] [comments]

2024.04.27 03:54 KirkHammettJigsaw Here You Go Hefty

Listen, this match has gone on for a long, long time. Hefty got the prompt wrong and booked a Bryan Danielson title reign. I tried to follow the prompt, but I realized a Danielson reign would be more fun, so that’s what I’m doing. I’m also gonna jump back to when he SHOULD have won the belt. Time machine type shit.
Let's set the scene, shall we? It's Winter is Coming 2022, and MJF is the AEW World Champion. He has just defeated a fellow Pillar, Jungle Boy, in the main event. After the match, he stands above his adversary's lifeless body, holding his Championship high above his head, talking trash. That is, until we hear THIS. Bryan Danielson wants another shot at the AEW World Title, and MJF looks petrified! They share a staredown, and Danielson points at the belt, at himself, and leaves the ring. We have ourselves a feud in the making!
Bryan cuts a few promos, calling MJF out for hiding behind The Pinnacle. MJF refuses to comment, which only fuels the American Dragon, who takes to calling Max a coward. It seems like the Champion is sick of this, as when Bryan Danielson walks into the backstage area at New Year's Smash Night 1, he's ambushed by The Pinnacle, who slam his leg with a car door!
For weeks after that, MJF talks mad shit about Danielson. He actually utters the words "I guess the Dragon got his wings clipped." However, in early February, FTR have a match against the Varsity Blonds, with MJF at ringside. They win. However, a video comes in on the big screen. Shawn Spears with a chair around his leg, and Danielson standing over him!
"MJF, I'm back. And I don't have much to say. But if you keep dodging me, this will keep happening."
He stomps right on the chair, breaking Shawn's leg! Bryan winks at the camera before the feed goes out! MJFTR are left in the ring, shocked! Bryan still doesn't get the match he wants, so he blindsides Dax Harwood, locking him in the Cattle Mutilation on concrete for over a full minute! MJF then tells Cash Wheeler to deal with him, which results in Bryan vs. Cash.
That match ends with Danielson hitting repeated stomps, prompting a ref stoppage! But the American Drsgon continues to stomp him out, and MJF runs in, attacking Bryan! After knocking him over, he finally makes the match at Revolution official: Bryan Danielson vs. MJF for the AEW Championship.
AEW REVOLUTION - MARCH 4TH, 2023
MJF (c) vs. Bryan Danielson - AEW World Championship
MJF comes out without The Pinnacle by his side, as they've all been injured at the hands of his opponent tonight, Bryan Danielson. He's going to have to get this done all by himself.
Bryan Danielson has over 20 years of experience, while MJF has less than 10. However, MJF is a prodigy, and the World Champ, so Bryan isn't exactly in for an easy time.
The bell rings, and Friedman is hesitant to lock-up. Once he eventually ties up with Bryan, Danielson immediately gets control and drags him to the mat! MJF struggles, and starts to panic. Could Bryan lock some sort of match-ending submission right off the bat? No, MJF gets a foot on the ropes, and the ref forces Bryan to break the hold. The two men get back up, and lock up once more. This time, Danielson immediately turns MJF into a Hammerlock, and the champ actually looks confident here, as he cartwheels, somersaults, and pops back to his feet with a grin! But Danielson kicks his legs out from underneath him and starts stomping on his shoulder! This is brutal! As MJF writhes in pain, The American Dragon picks him up once again. But Maxwell sneaks in a headbutt, knocking Bryan to the mat! He smirks, flips off the crowd, and runs the ropes, looking for some sort of Splash. But Danielson kips up, and kicks MJF HARD in the leg! MJF drops and has to roll out of the ring, limping!
The champ doesn't have anybody left from The Pinnacle to confer with on the outside, so he limps back up to the apron. Danielson gets a little over-eager, kicking him through the ropes, while MJF is on the apron! Two kicks catch him flush in the head! But MJF catches one! HE DROPS TO THE FLOOR, AND BRYAN'S KNEE BENDS OVER A ROPE!!! He falls to the mat, and now both competitors have a sore leg. MJF struggles to the top rope, and Bryan climbs to his feet using the ropes. MJF dives off, STOMPING ON BRYAN'S ARM! A SALT OF THE EARTH COULD END HIM LATER!!!
As Bryan holds his arm and grits his teeth, MJF laughs and lightly kicks at him, like he's a toy. The champion lifts the wounded Dragon to his knees, and hits a Snap DDT! Cover! 1, 2, kickout! This one is far from over. MJF gets up, angry, and starts to stomp relentlessly on Bryan's arm! Danielson tries to cover up, but Max finds a way to continue driving his boot into his elbow and bicep! This is becoming very one-sided!
MJF picks him up again, and goes for a Suplex, but Danielson lands on his feet, grabs a one-armed waistlock, and manages to hoist MJF up for a German Suplex!!! Bryan darts over to the champ, and tries to apply the LeBell Lock! But his arm fails him, he's not strong enough to put it on at the moment! MJF transitions into Full Mount and starts to raise down elbows and hammerfists on the challenger, who can't block them!
Bryan rolls out of the ring, weathered, and MJF decides to show off. He steps out to the apron, bounces off the middle rope, and HITS A PERFECT MOONSAULT ON THE FORMER WWE CHAMPION!!! MJF CAN TRULY DO IT ALL!!! He then picks up Bryan, who's in a bad way, and plants him with a POWERBOMB ON THE APRON! The Champ very well may be able to win this alone!
He lifts Danielson up again, and starts punching him, but Danielson starts to block them, and throws some body shots of his own! MJF tries to kick him away, but Danielson has it scouted, catches it, and hits a Dragon Screw! Danielson has the upper hand for the first time in quite a while, but he's still damaged, hobbling around because of his leg and back. He puts it aside for a moment, and as MJF gets up, Bryan runs forward! BUSAIKU KNEE, SENDING THE CHAMPION OVER THE RAILING!!! DANIELSON HAS THE UPPER HAND AGAIN!!!
Danielson limps over to the Timekeeper's Area, where he grabs a rolls of tape. The American Dragon slowly tapes his arm up, taking over a full minute to insure that his sore appendage is guarded From MJF's offense. Then, he marches back towards the guardrail, where he reaches over and grabs MJF in the Guillotine position. Balancing the champion on the railing for a moment, Bryan pauses. DRAPING DDT! RIGHT ON THE FLOOR!
Soaking in the cheers, Danielson lifts up the lifeless MJF, trying to lug him into the ring. With his arm taped up, it's a little difficult, but he managed to elevate the champ enough to get him onto the apron, before pushing him in. Danielson walks up, taking the steps, and halfway into the ring, MJF bounces up to his feet and cuts him off! Gets him in position! HEATSEEKER PILEDRIVER!!!! He desperately drags Bryan into the ring! 1, 2, Thr-NOOOOO!!!!!!!! THIS IS STILL GOING ON, MJF LOOKS HELPLESS!
MJF looks demented now, as he starts to stomp on Bryan's taped up arm even more! He plunges into Full Mount! Elbows and elbows, over and over! BUT BRYAN IS A TREMENDOUS GRAPPLER, AND HE THROWS UP A TRIANGLE CHOKE! MJF quickly lifts him up, GOING FOR A POWERBOMB, BUT DANIELSON ROLLS THROUGH WITH A HURRACANRANA! Both men back up now, and Max goes for a Lariat, but Bryan kicks it away! CLUBBING SHOT TO THE HEAD WITH THE STIFF, TAPED UP ARM! Friedman is rocked badly, but he jumps up and hits a Dropkick! BOTH MEN DOWN!!!!
As the crowd shows their appreciation with chants, the two competitiors get up to their knees. Exchanging slaps, each one harder than the last! Bryan has experience with this kind of hard-nosed fighting, and he starts to gain an advantage, hitting 3 slaps in a row! MJF GRABS HIM AND FORCES HIM DOWN TO THE MAT, HITTING HIM IN THE BACK OF THE HEAD REPEATEDLY! With his concussion history, this could be VERY dangerous! The champ unravels the tape on Danielson's arm frantically! SALT OF THE EARTH! IT'S LOCKED IN ON THE DESTROYED ARM, DANIELSON MAY HAVE TO TAP! BUT HE MANAGES TO ROLL MJF OVER! ARMS HOOKED! BRIDGE! THE CATTLE MUTILATION IS IN! IT'S TIGHT, MJF'S ARMS ARE FLAILING AROUND! AND SUDDENLY, THEY GO LIMP! HE'S OUT, THE REF STOPS THE MATCH! THE NEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWW AEW WORLD CHAMPION, "THE AMERICAN DRAGON" BRYAN DANIELSON!!!!!!!!!!
Bryan Danielson def. MJF (c) (19:32)
AEW Dynamite - March 8th, 2023
Bryan Danielson addressed his future after winning the World Title.
"After so much time, I almost forgot what it feels like to be a World Champion. What it's like to be the man, what it's like to be the guy holding the top belt. And it feels damn good. But on Saturday, I was reminded of what it's like to be the challenger. Clawing, trying to make a statement and etching my name in the history book. I forgot how fun it is. I wanna give that opportunity to other people, guys that haven't been able to yet."
"I sure as hell am not here to pity young guys. I'll go all out against them. But I still wanna give them the chance to figure out what it's like to face off with the best, hoping to hell that you can pull off a victory. And I'm that guy that can give it to them, because I'm the best. So I'm putting out an open contract for Rampage next week. Whoever answers it: good luck. You'll need it."
AEW Dynamite - March 15th, 2023
Daniel Garcia is backstage.
"For a while now, people have been calling me the future of AEW. I hear it, and you'd think it makes me proud. But no. It pisses me off. Because I'm not the future, I'm the damn present! I'm ready now! So Bryan Danielson, I signed your open contract. You just signed your death warrant. Get ready for a Red Death."
AEW Rampage - March 17th, 2023
Bryan Danielson (c) vs. Daniel Garcia - AEW World Championship
Danielson comes into this one with a confident, somewhat cocky demeanor. Garcia makes him pay for that, stretching him, nearly managing to submit the champ and take his belt on the very first defense! However, Bryan is a better striker, and takes advantage of that, chopping at his legs and slowing 2point0's Favourite Son down.
Garcia continues to fight, but the expertise shown by the American Dragon proves to be too much for the young star. After a methodical dismantling of "Red Death", Bryan applies a Heel Hook for the win. That's 1 defense down.
Bryan Danielson (c) def. Daniel Garcia (14:09)
AEW Rampage - March 24th, 2023
Bryan is on commentary for the entire show. Max Caster picks up a win over Shawn Dean, and Bryan picks up a mic.
"Max, I didn't expect that from you. You won that match the right way, and I salute you. So on next week's Dynamite, I'd be willing to give you a Championship Eliminator Match. If you win, you get a title shot."
Max nods eagerly. Why is Bryan doing this? Such an unorthodox choice.
AEW Dynamite - March 29th, 2023
Bryan Danielson (c) vs. Max Caster - AEW World Championship Eliminator
Max Caster's entrance goes like this:
"YO, LISTEN
WE ARE THE ACCLAIMED, SPIT STRAIGHT FIRE
MAKE DANIELSON WISH HE COULD RE-RETIRE
YOU STAY AT THE BOTTOM, WE AT THE PEAK THOUGH
MAKE YOU BLEED LIKE MY EARS WHEN I HEAR BRIE MODE
AIN'T BOUTTA LOSE TO NO GERIATRIC DRAGON
YOU NEED A DAMN CANE AND YOUR FACE IS SAGGIN'
REMEMBER THE NAME, BECAUSE MAX IS THE BEST
AND HE MAKES BRYAN'S WIFE SCREAM "YES! YES! YES!"
After that crude line, the match gets underway. Bryan hits a Busaiku Knee, locks in the LeBell Lock, and Max taps! This is over already! What a quick win!
Bryan Danielson (c) def. Max Caster (0:17)
Homicide on Twitter - April 2nd, 2023
Former ROH World Champion Homicide, who ended Bryan Danielson's extraordinary reign in 2006, posts this on his Twitter page.
"FYI=I ended the greatest title reign of Bryan Danielson's career, and I could do it again."
AEW Dynamite - April 5th, 2023
Bryan Danielson sits backstage, belt draped over his shoulder.
"Homicide wants to face me, huh? All these years later. He beat me in a hell of a match in 2006, and never had a bigger moment since. Wrestling is a business about doing shit lately, and are you doing shit, Homicide? No.
However. I've said that I'm here to give opportunities, right? Well, you'll get one. 17 years later, you get one. Our feud is old enough to drink in some countries, and we're about to rekindle it. In 2 weeks. Dynamite. Championship Eliminator Match. Let's turn back the clock."
AEW Dynamite - April 12th, 2023
Homicide vs. Fuego del Sol
This is just a match to introduce fans to Homicide. It's a fun little back, that sees Fuego show off some agility. However, he gets worn down by Homicide's pure, distilled brutality. He just can't take his punches, and he sure as hell can't take the Cop Killa that puts him down for the 1, 2, 3.
Homicide def. Fuego del Sol (7:34)
After the match, Danielson and Homicide share a staredown.
AEW Dynamite - April 19th, 2023
Bryan Danielson (c) vs. Homicide - AEW World Championship Eliminator
Bryan seems just as good, if not better, than he did in 2006. However, Homicide's got some miles on him, and it shows. He manages to put up a damn good fight, though, managing to bust open Bryan's chest with chops! However, over the course of the duration of the match, as Danielson starts to control the pace more and more, the Dragon seems to get very frustrated. "Come on, show me something!"
Something seems to snap in him as the contest progresses. He seems to develop a sense of mortality. He realizes that one of his greatest rivals isn't the fighter he once was, and that one day, Bryan won't be either. And all of a sudden, he seems to get a feeling of superiority. That he's on top of his game, even after 20-plus years. That he's the AEW World Champion.
That he's The Best.
Eventually, he wriggle out of a Cop Killa, keeping the arms hooked, and he locks in the Cattle Mutilation for the tap. But Bryan doesn't celebrate, preferring to get up calmly.
Bryan Danielson (c) def. Homicide (16:16)
The champ demands a mic.
"Man, that was disappointing. Homicide truly isn't what he once was. And you know what? That's not ok. His time here, tonight, could've been used to serve a younger talent. Someone that isn't broken down. But no, he had to have his spotlight. So I'm going to make sure that he never has it again."
He prepares to kick Homicide's head in. But at that very moment, Eddie Kingston comes rushing down the ramp to make the save! Danielson rushes out of the ring to a chorus of boos as the Mad King checks on his friend.
AEW Dynamite - April 26th, 2023
Eddie Kingston has something to say.
"You know, Bryan Danielson is a guy that I've never liked. But he took things to a whole new low when he insulted Homicide. That man saved me countless times, and last week, I saved him. That's the least I could do. But I think I wanna do the most. Bryan Danielson, American Dragon, Champ, whatever you wanna call yourself. It's all a front. You pick on young dudes like Caster and Garcia, guys you know you can beat. You go after guys that beat you decades ago, knowing that you can beat them now. Well, why don't you pick on someone that can pick back, huh? Someone like me. I'll be waiting. Don't bitch out, because I swear you'll regret it."
AEW Rampage - April 28th, 2023
It is announced that on Dynamite, we'll get a Championship Match between Eddie Kingston and Bryan Danielson.
AEW Dynamite - May 3rd, 2023
Eddie Kingston vs. Bryan Danielson (c) - AEW World Championship
It's the American Dragon's second defense of his World Title, and it's a tough one. Eddie Kingston looks determined, not only to win the belt but also to avenge Homicide after the disrespect shown to him by Bryan Danielson.
This isn't a match, it's a fight. We see more brawling from Bryan than ever before in his AEW run. His chest gets busted open once again, but he manages to do the same to the Mad King with some vicious Roundhouse Kicks. Eddie throws the smaller Danielson around a bit, and Bryan twists the New Yorker into knots with hate-filled Kimuras that Eddie shrugs off!
Eddie hits a Uraken, and it connects flush, but Bryan tumbles through the ropes, leaving Kingston without an opportunity to make the pin! Eddie looks frustrated, and he rages for a moment, giving Danielson precious time to recover.
The champ eventually gets back in, and he starts really locking in submissions, but Eddie refuses to tap to any of them! Eventually, he has a Crucific Lock in, and Kingston, screaming in pain, still doesn't submit! Bryan starts throwing Elbows and his unblocked skull, and after over a dozen, Eddie goes limp! The ref has to stop the match, Danielson is still the AEW World Champion!
Bryan Danielson (c) def. Eddie Kingston (21:50)
AEW Dynamite - May 10th, 2023
Bryan Danielson stands in the middle of the ring. He soaks in the boos. Bryan smiles, and raises the mic to his lips. But before he can get a word out, we hear THIS! Jon Moxley is here!
The Death Rider steps into the ring, and stares the champ down! He looks like he's about to say something, but instead, he plants Danielson with a Death Rider! The American Dragon has been put on notice!
AEW Rampage - May 12th, 2023
Jon Moxley explains his actions.
"I'm cut from the same cloth as Eddie Kingston and Homicide. Those are my brothers. And to see Bryan Danielson dismiss them, the fact that he thinks he's better than us, it pisses me off.
Bryan Danielson isn't better than me. He's the Champ, yeah, but I was too. He was WWE Champ, yeah, I was too. I've done the same shit he has, and I've done it without being a prick with a superiority complex.
So I spoke to the boss. And he said that if I want a shot at his belt at Double or Nothing, I got it. Well guess what, Dragon? I want it. See you on May 29th."
AEW Dynamite - May 17th, 2023
It is announced that on next week's Dynamite, the go-home episode to DoN, there will be a contract signing for the AEW World Championship Match between Mox and Bryan.
AEW Dynamite - May 24th, 2023
A table is set up in the middle of the ring, with Mox and Danielson on opposite ends. Each has a contract in front of them. Danielson speaks first.
"Well, Mox. We crossed paths a few times in that other place, and I was never scared of you. But I heard a lot about how fearsome Jon Moxley was, how you're the Purveyor of Violence. I look at you, and all I see is the same man. Scared, putting up a front, pretending to be a badass. Same as Eddie Kingston, same as Homicide. You guys don't wrestle the right way. You brawl, you cut corners. I'm a pure wrestler, and I'm gonna show that I wrestle the way all wrestlers should when I beat you at Double or Nothing."
Mox looks unfazed. He picks up his own mic.
"Bryan, there's something you're not getting. We aren't fronting about being tough dudes. That's us. That's our life. I wouldn't have won the belt if it wasn't for my past, alright? You learned to fight in a gym, I learned to fight on a street corner in Cincinnati. On Sunday, you're gonna see unfiltered violence the likes of which you simply aren't used to. I'm going to make you wish you stayed in that other company. Who knows, maybe I'll send you back there."
He signs the contract before leaving the ring. All we can do now is wait for Sunday!
AEW Double or Nothing - May 28th, 2023
Bryan Danielson (c) vs. Jon Moxley - AEW World Championship
Jon Moxley has a crazed look in his eyes as he makes his entrance, not saying a word or engaging with the crowd on his way to the ring. Bryan Danielson, on the other hand, panders (I hate this word) all the way down the ramp, talking shit about brawlers like Mox.
The bell ring, and Mox charges right at Bryan, who immediately dips under the ropes and to the floor, prompting a shower of boos in his general direction. He raises his arms, which makes the jeers even louder. But he doesn't see Moxley diving through the ropes! TOPE SUICIDA TO THE BACK OF THE HEAD! With Danielson's concussion trouble, that can't be too good for him.
Mox throws him around, into the barricades and ring posts, which gets the crowd fired up. Danielson tries to kick at him to create distance, but Jon slips all of them, and then continues to get closer, throwing punches continuously. Bryan tries to slide back into the ring for refuge, but the Death Rider doesn't let him, dragging him back out and hitting a Snap Suplex right on the edge of the Timekeeper's Table! It doesn't break, instead holding strong and toppling, causing the American Dragon to fold high up on his shoulders! Mox is already inflicting hell on the champ's head and neck!
Wary of the ref's count, both men get back in the ring, much to the delight of the World Champion. But it seems like he still can't get a rhythm going against Mox, who tees off on him. The former champ bites down on Bryan's head, angering the ref but delighting everybody in the filled arena! Blood begins to trickle out of his head! The champ pulls away in disgust and pain as Jon continues to run wild!
Stomps now, on the legs, midsection and head of Danielson! He keeps switching up his target, making it very difficult for Bryan to block the hellacious boots! Moxley backs off, but Bryan isn't out of the woods yet, as the moment he gets up to a solid base, Mox rushes forward and connects with a HUGE REGAL KNEE! Bryan looks like he's out! An early cover! 1, 2, Thr-NO! It was a kickout, but that was dangerously close this early in the match! This has been extremely one-sided so far!
Mox is undeterred, and he picks Bryan up, putting him in position for an Underhook DTT! The grip is strong, and he tries to lift, but Bryan has the awareness to hook a leg, preventing himself from getting hit with the Paradigm Shift. Moxley starts throwing knees right to the body, and after a dozen of them, Danielson starts to falter again, which tells Jon that it's time to go for the Paradigm Shift again. He's up! But Bryan pushes himself off, lands on his feet, and throws a Roundhouse Kick that lands with a thud on the side of Mox's head! The Purveyor of Violence falls to the mat for the first time in the contest, and Danielson takes a much-needed respite.
Mox starts to get back up, and Danielson kicks at his legs to keep him on the ground. Jon throws a right hook, but the champ has him scouted, and ducks out of the way. Bryan wipes the blood off his face with his hand, and stares at the crimson on his palm. He slaps Mox across the face, leaving a red handprint on the Death Rider's cheek! There's a pause for a moment as the crowd recognizes the disrespect shown, and then Mox tackles Danielson to the canvas! Punch after punch after punch after punch after punch, repeat times infinity! Something has snapped in Mox's head, this onslaught is absolutely vicious!
Bryan helplessly crawls away, and Mox throws hatred-filled, furious soccer kicks at his ribs! Each one makes a sound that echoes throughout the venue, reverberating in the ears of each and ever fan! And Danielson can't stand it, but he gets up and chops Mox! Mox chops back! Danielson! Mox! CHOP! CHOP! CHOP! CHOP! CHOP! CHOP! CHOP! CHOP! OVER AND OVER, THIS MATCH IS A SPRINT AND THE CROWD IS LOVING IT! BOTH OF THEIR CHESTS ARE RED AND BLOODY, AS THEY TRANSITION TO FOREARMS! REPEATEDLY, ONE OF THEIR HEADS IS ABOUT TO BE CAVED IN! SLAPS NOW! AGAIN AND AGAIN! Finally, each man throws a headbutt! THEY BOTH COLLAPSE!!!!
After a bit of a wait, the two men stir for a moment, and try to use each other for balance. Quick as a cat, the Dragon applies a GUILLOTINE! It's tight, because it was so unexpected! The crowd is in a frenzy wondering if Mox will tap! But the Death Rider forces himself to his feet, and swings back and forth for momentum, before LAUNCHING THE CHAMPION IN THE AIR! EUROPEAN UPPERCUT, THE CHAMP IS OUT! Mox takes in the ovation for a moment, before lifting Bryan up and hitting a non-elevated Paradigm Shift! Pin! 1, 2, kickout! Mox wastes no time at all, picking him up yet again! PARADIGM SHIFT! IT DOESN'T WORK, BRYAN LANDS BEHIND MOX AND HOOKS HIS ARMS, FORCING HIM DOWN! BRIDGE! CATTLE MUTILATION!!!!
Mox scrambles, trying not to pass out, as a bloody, crazed Danielson squeezes harder and harder! Jon shimmies all the way over to a rope, getting up to his knees a bit, and BARELY drapes a toe over the bottom rope, breaking the hold! As he gets up, Bryan runs the ropes and goes for a BUSAIKU KNEE! BUT MOX DROPS DOWN, AND DANIELSON FLIES OUT OF THE RING!!!! Mox darts to the top rope! CROSSBODY TO THE OUTSIDE!!!!
He rolls the champ back in, and quickly looks for another Paradigm Shift attempt, but Danielson sweeps his legs out from under him and starts stomping on his skull! This is BRUTAL! He picks Mox up! Runs the ropes! BUSAIKU KNEE!!!! But he's not done! Lifts the Purveyor of Violence to his feet again! A SECOND BUSAIKU KNEE! AND HE STILL WANTS ANOTHER ONE! MOX STRUGGLES TO GET TO HIS FEET, AND DEFIANTLY FLIPS BRYAN OFF, BUT HE CAN'T STOP A THIRD BUSAIKU KNEE!!!! COVER! 1, 2, 3! THAT'S IT, BRYAN DANIELSON IS STILL YOUR AEW WORLD CHAMPION AFTER A SHORT, BUT VIOLENT WAR!!!
Bryan Danielson (c) def. Jon Moxley (15:00)
(Authors's Note: Lee Moriarty won the Casino Battle Royale to win a shot at the AEW World Championship.)
AEW Dynamite - May 31st, 2023
We get a Lee Moriarty promo, hyping himself up.
"A lot of people saw me for the first time on Sunday, so yeah, it may have been a shocker that I won. But not to me. Nah, I wasn't surprised at all. I'm a strong believer in the fact that I'm one of the best wrestlers in the world. People talk a lot about the American Dragon, yeah? But soon, they'll be talking about the Tiger. Mox, Eddie and Homicide brought the Street Style. I'm bringing that TIGA-STYLE. All I need is one good night, and that belt will be coming home with me. Bryan Danielson, you better be ready. Because there's a very real chance, you'll just be an answer to a trivia question: Who did Lee Moriarty beat to become the AEW World Champion?"
AEW Rampage - June 9th, 2023
Lee Moriarty wins a match and the moment he goes backstage, he's ambushed by Bryan Danielson! The American Dragon throws him into the concrete wall, and as Moriarty slowly gets to his knees, Danielson knees his skull into the concrete! Medical staff check on Lee as Bryan gets ushered away.
AEW Dynamite - June 14th, 2023
It's announced that Bryan Danielson will have a non-title match against Carlie Bravo on next week's Dynamite.
AEW Dynamite - June 21st, 2023
Bryan Danielson (c) vs. Carlie Bravo
This is a non-title match, but Danielson flaunts his belt all the way down the ramp. He looks a bit different, wearing white boots, white trunks, and a white jacket with "The American Dragon" written in red cursive print. He looks regal, and he projects cockiness.
The match itself is an absolute squash. Bryan only needs 2 minutes to win, and he finishes Bravo off with a simple Roundhouse Kick, but the message is simple: Bryan Danielson is not to be fucked with.
Bryan Danielson (c) def. Carlie Bravo (2:10)
AEW Rampage - June 30th, 2023
Bryan Danielson enters the building in a limo, but is immediately rushed by Lee Moriarty, who chokes him out and stuffs him right back into his car! Before closing the door, he tells Danielson, who is still unconscious, "I'll see you at Fyter Fest Night 1, bitch."
AEW Dynamite - July 5th, 2023
With their AEW World Championship Match taking place next week, we get a sit-down confrontation via satellite between Moriarty and Danielson.
BD: "Well, Lee, you got one over on me last week, good job. Make sure you savour your little 15 minutes of fame, because after what I do to you next week, you'll never reach those heights again."
LM: "Tough talk from someone that got choked out 5 days ago, but whatever."
BD: "You blindsided me, do that in a real match."
LM: "You blindsided me a few weeks before, it's the same shit! You know, when you beat Homicide, you talked about how you wanted the spotlight to go on young dudes. Now that I'm a threat, you switch up on me, you attack me and all that shit! You're a hypocrite. You talk about all the things you want, but you only want one thing, and that's a spotlight for yourself."
BD: "You know what, Lee? Maybe you're right. I want the spotlight, and I don't wanna share it. But that's because I'm the BEST. Nobody here can touch me, especially not someone like you who hasn't proven himself yet."
LM: "I won the Casino Battle Royale, I beat 20 guys to get this spot. All I need is to beat one more. You're just another pin to knock over, Bryan. That's it."
AEW Dynamite: Fyter Fest Night 1 - July 12th, 2023
Bryan Danielson (c) vs. Lee Moriarty - AEW World Championship
Danielson comes out, and he has a grand entrance. An orchestra to play his theme, throngs of fans to welcome him. He treats this like a huge event. Meanwhile, Lee Moriarty has a simple entrance, throwing his Tiger mask into the crowd.
The match itself is very technical, with Danielson being VERY overconfident. He does surfboards while flexing, kicks while talking trash, and many other cocky things. Lee, however, fights like his life depends on it, hitting big combos, targeting Bryan' ribs a lot! Abdominal Stretches seem to be working out pretty well for him, but after a solid run by Moriarty, Danielson manages to take control again. A LeBell Lock with one fist raised in the air, and even with the braggadocio shown by the champ here, Lee has no choice but to tap out.
Bryan Danielson (c) def. Lee Moriarty (18:46)
AEW Dynamite: Fight For The Fallen - July 26th, 2023
Jay Lethal is backstage.
"Bryan Danielson has reverted back to his ROH days, it seems. Similar offense, same gear. He says he's the best, and he cosplays as his Ring Of Honor self to prove it. He fancies himself as the face of ROH. But he abandoned that company. I didn't. I was with it for longer than he ever was, and I loved it more. Basically, I'm trying to say that one of the things that Danielson hangs his hat on? I did it better. So I want a chance to prove that I can be better at being the AEW World Champ, too."
AEW Dynamite - August 2nd, 2023
Bryan Danielson has a response for Jay Lethal.
"You brought ROH up for no reason, and that's hilarious to me. The most important shit you've done was in a company that you're not a part of anymore. This is the present, and I'm doing much better than you. If you want a shot at this belt, you gotta earn it. In 2 weeks. Championship Eliminator Match. I'll be there."
AEW Dynamite - August 16th, 2023
Bryan Danielson (c) vs. Jay Lethal - AEW World Championship Eliminator
If Jay wins this one, he gets a shot at the AEW World Championship. But Bryan hasn't lost in 2023 yet, and he's not looking to start now.
This is an absolute back-and-forth battle, a struggle. Danielson twists Lethal into knots, but Jay shows off his athleticism and gets the upper hand by overpowering Danielson, whether it's with shoulder tackles, lariats or spinebusters.
The finish comes when Bryan starts to piece Lethal up with kicks. To the leg, to the ribs, a few land to the head, and Lethal is slowing right down! Another big Roundhouse puts him on his back, and the American Dragon starts to laugh. He knows he has this under control! The champ backs up to his corner, he looks like he's about to line up a Busaiku Knee! Darts forward, dives into the air, AND JAY LETHAL CONNECTS WITH A SUPERKICK OUT OF MID-AIR! Scrambles to lift him up! LETHAL INJECTION! Doesn't go for the pin, preferring to pick him up again for good measure! A SECOND LETHAL INJECTION! COVER! 1, 2, 3!!!!!!! JAY LETHAL HAS HANDED BRYAN DANIELSON HIS FIRST LOSS OF 2023, EARNING A SHOT AT THE AEW WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP!!!!!
Jay Lethal def. Bryan Danielson (c) (17:33)
AEW Rampage - August 25th, 2023
Bryan Danielson sits backstage, looking angry.
"Well, Jay Lethal, you did it. You beat the great Bryan Danielson. Good job. You got yourself a shot at this belt right here. But here's the thing, Jay. I've been performing at the highest level for over 10 years now, and I haven't crumbled. You wanna know why I left ROH behind? I was onto bigger and better things. But you? You couldn't handle that. You could've left, but you didn't. You were content. I am NEVER content. That's the mark of a true Champion! At All Out, I'll show you why I made it out. It's because I'm the best wrestler to ever live! You're just the next guy to fall."
AEW Dynamite - August 30th, 2023
Jay Lethal airs a video package of him speaking spliced in with clips from his ROH days.
"You say that my ROH days are tainted, Bryan Danielson. You say I could've moved on, and that I didn't because I couldn't handle the pressure. But you know the truth? I didn't move on because it was home. ROH was my domain, the place where I was the ROH World Champ and TV Champ at the same damn time! But a little while ago, I showed you that I'm more than just hype. That's when I pinned you in the middle of the ring. On Saturday, history will repeat itself! You'll see that I am the competitor I am today, simply because I am also...a man of Honor."
AEW All Out - September 2nd, 2023
Bryan Danielson (c) vs. Jay Lethal - AEW World Championship
Jay Lethal comes out looking as confident as ever, knowing that he can beat Bryan Danielson, as he's done it before. Meanwhile, the champ looks a bit shaken, a bit off-guard.
The bell rings, and Jay steps into the centre of the ring, ready to lock up. Bryan looks tentative, but engages, and Lethal immediately shows that he's physically stronger than the champ by pushing him back towards the ropes. We get a clean break between the two, and they step back into the centre. Lethal gets a Hammerlock, but this is amateur hour for Bryan Danielson, who easily cartwheels, somersaults, and spins into a wristlock. Now that he's has control, he's a bit more at ease. But Lethal is no slouch, and he rolls out of it and hits a perfect dropkick, sending Bryan crashing to the mat!
The champ is frustrated, and Lethal eggs him on, telling him to "get your ass back up here." Danielson comes in with more force this time, and gets met with a high armdrag, executed perfectly. The Dragon gets up again, this time even more angrily, and runs right into a second armdrag! A third time, he gets up and charges forward, but stops just before he makes contact with Jay. Jay goes for the armdrag anyways, accidentally falling on the mat as a product of his own doing! Bryan goes for an Elbow Drop to capitalize, but Lethal deftly rolls out of the way, and Bryan hits the mat. Jay gets up roughly at the same time as the Champ, and throws a Discus Elbow that hits the American Dragon directly in the jaw! Cover! 1, kickout! This one is still getting going.
Bryan is even angrier now, pissed that he's getting outwrestled by Jay Lethal. He throws a Roundhouse to the body, but Lethal catches it and drives the point of his elbow right into the knee of the champ, causing him to shriek in pain! A few kicks to the knee, and Danielson rolls out to avoid further harm.
We can see the gears in his head turn as he thinks of a way to outsmart Lethal. Finally, a big grin appears on his face. He roots around under the ring, and picks up a Kendo Stick. Is he about to disqualify himself? As the ref pleads with him, Bryan reluctantly agrees and throws the weapon to the mat. But as the official turns to pick it up and throw it out of the ring, Bryan POKES JAY LETHAL RIGHT IN THE EYES! A takedown, and now he's free to throw Haymakers from Full Mount! What a dirty tactic! As the crowd chants "No! No! No!" the champion jokingly does "Yes!" motions to the dismay of the audience. Lethal reaches for his leg from the ground and he stomps on the challenger's hand!
Now that Bryan has the upper hand, he goes for his usual strategy of piecing his opponent up with kicks. To the legs to slow Jay down, to the body to make him less likely to hit power moves, and a few to the head in hopes of knocking Jay out. Danielson hits one of those Head Kicks, spinning Lethal around! Full Nelson! DRAGON SUPLEX! BRIDGE PIN! 1, 2, NO! Danielson is going to have to do more damage if he wants to win this match.
The American Dragon seems to be exploring creative options to put Jay away, and he climbs up to the top rope. He waits for Lethal to get up, he could be lining up for a Missile Dropkick! But Lethal quickly vaults up to the top, grabs Danielson's head for leverage, twists, and SENDS THE CHAMPION CRASHING DOWN TO THE MAT! The crowd knows what to expect here as Lethal is perched high above his opponent! MACHO MAN GESTURE! ELBOW DROP!!!! It takes a lot out of Jay, but he crawls to make the cover! 1, 2, KICKOUT! IT'S JUST NOT ENOUGH!!!
Jay is in a bad way, those deadly kicks from Danielson screwed him up pretty bad. But he lifts the champ up, wanting to keep fighting, needing to keep fighting. He puts Bryan in a Pumphandle Slam position, looking for something big here! Lifts him up! BRYAN LANDS IN A PERFECT SPOT FOR A DDT, AND HITS ONE! TRANSITIONS INTO A GUILLOTINE CHOKE! WHAT A BEAUTIFUL MOVE!!! Lethal gasps for air, reaching for a rope! He's not gonna be able to get one! But he punches the champ right in the jaw, shocking him enough that Lethal can nudge his head out from Danielson's grasp. That was a close call!
As Jay gets up, Bryan goes for the patented Busaiku Knee! But like in their last match, Jay has it scouted, countering with a SUPERKICK OUT OF MID-AIR! PICKS THE CHAMP UP, LINES UP FOR A LETHAL INJECTION, JUST LIKE THE LAST TIME!!!
JAY BOUNCES OFF THE ROPES WITH A HANDSPRING, AND DIVES FOR A CUTTER! DANIELSON DIVES AS WELL, AND CATCHES HIS ADVERSARY WITH A CROSSFACE CHICKENWING OUT OF THE AIR!!!!! IT'S IN TIGHT!!!! Jay fights the hands, and manages to barely pull them off off his throat, managing to give himself JUST enough space to throw headbutts with the back of his head! He gets free!
They're back up now, and of course, Jay goes for another Lethal Injection! DANIELSON GRABS ONTO HIS SHOULDERS, PREVENTING HIM! Hooks the arms, CATTLE MUTILATION ATTEMPT! BUT LETHAL BREAKS FREE! ENZUIGIRI! HIT HIM SO HARD THAT DANIELSON ROLLS RIGHT OUT OF THE RING!!!!
Lethal musters up all of his energy for a Tope Suicida! PERFECT! BRYAN SMASHES UP AGAINST THE BARRICADE, AND GETS THROWN INTO THE RING! SET UP FOR A THIRD LETHAL INJECTION ATTEMPT!!! BOUNCE! HANDSPRING! CUTTER! IT CONNECTS!!!! BUT HE DOESN'T COVER HIM, NO!! HE WANTS TO HIT ANOTHER FOR GOOD MEASURE!!! BOUNCE! HANDSPRING! CUTTER! NOOOO, DANIELSON CATCHES HIS ARM!!!! INTO A LEBELL LOCK FROM THE CHAMP!!!!!!
Jay is struggling, but slowly inching towards the ropes! HE'S GONNA BREAK THE HOLD! NO, DANIELSON IS A TECHNICAL GENIUS, HE ROLLS LETHAL BACK TO THE CENTRE OF THE RING AND TIGHTENS THE LEBELL LOCK! HE'S IN TOO MUCH PAIN TO GO ON, LETHAL TAPS!!!!! AND STILL, THE AEW WORLD CHAMPION, BRYAN DANIELSON!!!!!!!!!!!
Bryan Danielson (c) def. Jay Lethal (20:23)

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2024.04.21 15:49 Old_Heart_7780 Motive

Two young kids taken from a popular local hiking trail in the middle of a warm winter day. Forcibly removed from the remote end of a dead end trail. Nowhere to run—- trapped on that long and rotted train trestle bridge—- isolated but together. It makes me sick thinking how terrified but brave two young friends were that day they crossed the Monon High Bridge. Libby capturing their abductor with a secretly concealed cell phone. I suspect they knew he was bad news the moment they’d passed one another at the south end of the bridge.
And yet both Abby and Libby still felt comfortable walking on the isolating and decaying trestles. You can see Abby concentrating on every footstep in that infamous Snapchat photo taken by her best friend Libby. They knew something was amiss the moment they saw him walking back toward them, with his head down—moving too fast for their comfort. Both girls suddenly realizing Anthony_shots was a creepy old man in baggy blue jeans and a bad fitting blue jacket.
One man with a motive for being there that day. Three times convicted: Theft, Battery, and Harassment. No stranger to beating up little kids, and harassing unsuspecting women with his anonymous telephone calls. A sick man with the black heart of a BTK and a GSK—- a pedophile and a peeper all rolled into one. He had the motive, and we all know anthony_shots and EmilyAnne were born on his Comcast account. Two fake social media profiles designed to trick unsuspecting and vulnerable young girls for their own sick purposes. A perfect storm waiting to happen.
He had the motive—- and let’s face it; he is undoubtedly connected. His Comcast account, his house, his son, his parents and their backyard—- somehow all connected. A man with three convictions, that suddenly realized he wasn’t so anonymous on those MeetMe, KiK and Snapchat chats. A three time loser looking at a new reality of life behind bars if any one of those kids talked about Anthony or Emily. I know he was terrified because his own son told us he was terrified, that evening when he arrived back home after his friendly chat with the ISP and the FBI on February 25. 2017.
He told us his dad was hysterically crying when he got a ride back home from the nice law enforcement people—- who’d just given him the polygraph treatment. They knew then this young shut in man knew something about the person(s) responsible for the Delphi murders. Does anyone truly believe this man was crying because he thought his son was mixed up in the Delphi murders. Or he was crying and terrified because he knew what could be coming next. I have no doubt his DNA is grossly smeared all over those devices confiscated from that pedo den. Devices collected from where they were found inside that house. Law enforcement knows who had which device in their separate bedrooms. They know who it was that unblocked Libby that February when she was set up and trapped on the Monon High Bridge.
Law enforcement has the full story. That Carroll County prosecutor didn’t meet secretly with the weakest link for nothing. He met secretly with that man’s son so as to get the full story. The story about a trip to Delphi that day two kids were murdered. A trip in a grandparents vehicle—- of course he wouldn’t take one of his own vehicles that day. A trip to the back of the Old Delphi Cemetery where he waited for his dad who had disappeared into the thick timber headed toward Deer Creek. A codependent and abused son waiting in a vehicle at the back of a deserted cemetery. I wouldn’t doubt he told the son he was doing some scouting for a future hunt. A gullible son who knew to keep his mouth shut lest the old man stick a gun to his head.
I think he told McLeland about the drive back to Peru that day. His dad covered in blood. The slow down on the bridge when his dad banded him the knife and told him to toss it into the river. Suddenly realizing the blood was now on his hands. The quick return home for a change of clothes and footwear. His dad acting wildly manic as they returned to the grandparents house to burn something in that bag his dad brought with them. The suspicious bag and the seat covers, floor mats and steering wheel cover from grandmas purple PT Cruiser. All tossed in that huge garbage pit and set ablaze. A quick run to the local Autozone before it closed that Monday evening—- brand seat covers, floor mats and steering wheel cover.
If there was a motive—- that man had it. Terrified his impulsive nature destroyed his retirement plans at the fast approaching age of 55. His son showing him that winter the ease for which he could peep into a young girls bedroom without ever leaving his own bedroom. Suddenly realizing the FBI was busy in the 765 Area Code that winter catching predators like himself. EmilyAnne and Elliot—- two men trading the most vile CSAM imaginable. Elliot seen handcuffed and led away from his house on the west side of Kokomo by the serious looking men with FBI emblazoned on their jackets.
Would they come for him if that young girl from Delphi told about those fake social media accounts harassing and grooming her that winter. A three time loser back in front of a judge and looking at 10-20. A lost life of leisure sponging off his parent’s timeshare in Florida, and those quick trips to Las Vegas and the nearby Bunny Ranch.
They searched his house not once, but TWICE. They searched that river for over 5 long weeks looking for a murder weapon. We know who pointed them to that location—— his son accompanied by two detectives. Did they find his knife—- of course they did. Had they not found a knife described in detail by his only son—- they would never have moved onto that Autozone, and ultimately that fire pit in grandma’s backyard. Something of interest was burned behind his parent’s house— the same as something of interest burned behind Richard Allen’s house. Does anyone think Ricard Allen could have made the same suspicious purchases for his black Ford Focus; new seat covers, floor mats—-purchased at that Carquest Auto Parts Store on West Franklin Street in beautiful Delphi, Indiana. Three men there that day two kids were setup, trapped, and murdered.
One of them had motive.
This is all speculation on my part. Speculation meant to illicit discussion. Could it have been Allen alone that day? Is there something to those searches in Miami County that preceded the searches at Allen’s property? Could two men growing up in a town of less than 900 people during the 1980’s have known one another? Did Allen’s wife know something was off with her husband of 25 years? Did the neighbors recall the smell of burning rubber, that evening two innocent kids from America’s Heartland were so heartlessly murdered?

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2024.04.20 04:36 curiousxcharlotte I still miss him two years later

I went out with this guy a few times in 2022. We met on a dating app, I wasn’t even going to match with him but I saw that he had paid to superlike me so I thought I’d give him a chance. We only saw each other twice but he made me feel things nobody ever had. I really really liked him. He made me feel happy and I think he really did genuinely care for me. He’s the most attractive man I’ve ever met. I felt so safe when I was with him. I remember that we talked a bit about the future and what our goals are. He said his goal in the future was to get married, buy a house in the country, have a family, live off the land and so on… it stuck with me for a long time because that’s what I want too. And in that moment all I could imagine was us being like that in the future. I was so happy. We texted each other all week until we saw each other the next weekend. That time we were hanging out and I smoked weed for the first time. While we were high he told me he thought I was special and that we already had a very strong bond and connection. I felt so comfortable with him since I met him I felt the same. We planned to see each other the following weekend but the next day he texted me and said he had bad news and would phone me after work. He told me he might be moving across the country due to family stuff. He said he didn’t want to burn any bridges because you never know what could happen in the future. He sounded really upset and so was I. He said we shouldn’t talk until he found out. I sat down and didn’t move for at least half an hour after I hung up the phone. A few days later I texted him and he replied something: I’m really sorry but my family doesn’t approve of me seeing you. “You’re a beautiful person and I’m sorry that they don’t see you that way. This is going to hurt me a lot but I’m sorry, goodbye”. I don’t really remember what happened after that as I was smoking copious amounts of cannabis that summer. (I’m pretty sure “his family didn’t approve of me” because I was recovering from psychosis and at the time my diagnosis was schizoaffective bipolar, I was very unstable around this time too. A few weeks before that I had my first date and the guy OD’d after our date unrelated but anyways). I hooked up with a lot of guys that summer trying to get over him. Then a few months later he reaches out and says we should reconnect as friends. I ignored it as I was with my boyfriend who I dated for a year. Anyways a few months later after the novelty of dating my bf wore off I started to miss him so much and I would cry and cry about him thinking of what could’ve been. I kept thinking that I was going to be with him, whether it’s 10 years in the future or whatever. I believed we were soulmates and connected together for life. But at the same time I felt he had probably forgotten who I was. I couldn’t stop thinking about him and I felt so bad because I loved my boyfriend. But I remember thinking of him while we were having sex and feeling guilty and sad and cruel. The thoughts about him subsided until about a year after I was going out with him I saw a guy who looked like him kiss a girl and I freaked out. I was so distraught. I was so depressed (and on meds that didn’t work at the time) and he was all I could think of. I listened to music and fantasied about him, us being together, thinking of our time together. One night I was feeling really I don’t even know how to describe it but I wasn’t me. I made a fake phone number and texted to him “you’re one of the reasons why she killer herself”. No context to the message. Then when I came to I felt like an idiot. A bit later I checked and he had unblocked me idk when, but I texted him and admitted to him how I felt towards him and that I still liked him and would do anything to be with him again basically. He said that he misses what we had too but it was in the past now and that he was sorry but he wasn’t looking for a relationship and he was going to the military soon but was very flattered that I told him. We agreed to still be friends although we haven’t talked since. After I told him it calmed down a lot and I got over him for the first time. I was sad but I felt peace of mind. A few weeks later he started commenting on my instagram posts, liking my stories and comments on reels videos, replying to them, even added me to his close friends story. I thought nothing of it because I think he was just trying to be friendly. Around this time I also broke up with my boyfriend who id been dating at the time because I didn’t feel he loved me and I didn’t feel a connection. And then a month later I find out he has a GIRLFRIEND. And it crushed me. Because I knew I would never be with him. He’s moved on from me. I’ll never be someone special in his head like he is to me. And that makes me so sad. That I think of him in all these different ways, that I consider him my first love, but I mean nothing to him. I’ll just be one of the girls he went out with a few years ago, if he even remembers me. I went to Europe this winter with family and for some reason I couldn’t stop thinking of him. I was dissociating almost the whole trip, hallucinating, got physically assaulted. I wrote our names in the sand and (TW) fantasied about ending both our lives while having sex so we would be bound together forever physically and in death. He was forever mine in my heart. When I got back home I started feeling better. I started to resent him for what he did to me. How he treated me, acting like he cared about me just to abandon me. Telling me we had a bond and acting like he wanted to be with me. He ruined my life for at least a year. And I hate that he takes up space and memory in my mind. He’s the reason why my attachment issues are so bad. Why I never believe nobody will stay with me or want to be with me. He ruined how I perceive relationships. Now mainly I’m happy for him that he’s doing what he what’s to do and that he has a girlfriend and that they love each other. But sometimes it makes me sad. He’ll always think of her. She’ll always be way more special to him than me, even after he breaks up with her. He will only think of her and never me. I want to say I still hope we’ll be together one day but I don’t even believe it anymore. I only really think of him when something reminds me of him (hence why I started writing this). It makes my heart ache with dread and sorrow. I’m over him for real, but I still want him. I still cry when I think of him. If I could just wake up and it’s all been a bad dream since then I would never take anything for granted again. I just wish i could meet a person that one ups him. I don’t even know where I was going with this originally but it felt good to get it all out and thank you to anyone who actually reads all of this.

submitted by curiousxcharlotte to BorderlinePDisorder [link] [comments]

2024.04.19 05:28 _black_rabbit Year 3 -- Whats left?

Hey everyone, this is my first playthrough of Stardew Valley on the switch and I'm playing blind. I've reached Winter year 2 and I'm starting to get bored. Without ruining any surprises id like to know if there is much left in terms of content for me to continue.
So far I've

Reached over $2 million
Have all the animals
Reached level 100 in skull cavern
Fixed the community center and movie theater
Unblocked the witches house
Upgraded all gear
Fixed the boat
Got married - agreed to have a kid (no kid yet)
Fully upgraded my house

I recently started collecting the golden nuggets on the island but I'm not enjoying this part. Searching for another 100 to get into that room doesn't sound like fun. I just got the first quest from the old lady to find a keepsake of her husband.
Is there new content ahead or is it just more of the same from here?

submitted by _black_rabbit to StardewValley [link] [comments]

2024.04.18 22:19 StrangeHorror7406 MR2 Misfire Mystery

Engine detectives, here’s one for you!
I would describe myself as an experienced homemade tinkerer, like many on here I think. I know my way around the car and engine, do my own service, and have done a tonne of mods and upgrades over time, but I’m not a trained mechanic, just a humble hobbyist. This one has me completely stumped. I’ll try to describe everything I know about it in the hope that someone much cleverer than me can piece together the mystery.
The car - 2003 MR2 MK3 with a 1ZZ engine, K&N induction kit, and Cobra Sport cat back quad exit exhaust. A few other mods but not relevant here.
The Problem
From cold, it starts up first time every time, purrs nicely, and performs well. This continues until the engine is fully up to temperature and I’ve been driving for about 20 minutes. At that point, it starts to run rough, rough idle, an unpleasant acceleration noise, and a super laboured acceleration between 800 and 2500 rpm. This only happens as I say after about 20 minutes of running at operating temperature, and is more likely if I’ve driven it hard. Sometimes it seems to start happening after I switch the car off, then back on a few minutes later and it is straight in to ‘rough mode’. It only ever happens when hot though, never cold.
When it is in ‘rough mode’ and I stop, the engine drops to about 700-800 rpm and has a notable ‘different’ noise to it, no longer purring but more like a sore throat trying to purr. Sometimes the rpm will bounce slightly when in this state, like it’s about to stall, but it doesn’t. If I sit still in that state for a while, the ‘check engine’ light will come on. The OBD codes read random cylinder misfires, though you can hear the problem well before any codes show and most of the time the check engine light never lights even though the problem occurs on every drive.
If I try to pull away whilst it is doing this, it will have extreme hesitation, like there’s a heavy trailer on the back or something stuffed up the exhaust, and lots of loud vibrating from the engine. Again hard to describe in words, but imagine trying to clear your throat, that noise. It will do this between 0% to about 80% of the accelerator pedal range. Now, if I floor it whilst it is doing this, it will ‘punch through’ - the acceleration will jerk back to normal, the car jolt forward, the engine sound lovely, and accelerate normally. If I lift off again, vibration and hesitation.
What I’ve Done So Far
I suspected the ignition system. Initially I targeted the spark plugs, as I hadn’t changed them in around a year. When I changed them, I noticed a lot of white crust on them (they had only done 4k). I thought this could have been down to the E10 petrol in the UK, which as I understand has higher ethanol content, which absorbs water and corrodes the pipes on these old cars. I switched to E5, and ran a fuel system cleaner through the tank as well as changing the plugs.
For a while (maybe 1 month) it ran a little healthier, not 100%, but then started getting bad again.
Reading up on ignition problems, next up I changed the coils as it was still running originals, but no change. Next up I changed the fuel injectors, again as they were original and if the sparks had the corrosion I thought maybe they would be clogged up too. A little better again for a month or so, then started declining again. Finally I changed the vacuum hoses for new silicon ones as the originals were a bit cracked. I changed all except the water hoses and 1 vacuum hose behind the fuel rail that I couldn’t quite get to, swore too much and gave up on.
Now, hands up - at this point I left the plastic top cover off my engine, and after a very bad rain storm I was horrified to lift the boot to find water pooling in the well around the tops of the coils. I mopped it all up, ran the car for a while to evaporate any last bits of water, and put the plastic lid back on. Nothing to see here, think I got away with it. Don’t leave the plastic cover off, kids. At least not in the UK.
Second hands up - At some point (I don’t know where in the grand timeline), my soft top drains had become blocked and in another very bad rain storm (UK yay) water had pooled about an inch deep around the top of the fuel pump cover and electrics in the compartment behind the driver’s seat. I drained it all, dried it, unblocked the drains, etc. and everything seemed to work okay. No idea if that could cause a problem but mentioning it here in case it helps piece this puzzle together.
Now after changing all these (specifically after changing the vacuum hoses), something even weirder started to happen. I would drive somewhere and park up for maybe 30 minutes to 1 hour, then when I get back to my car and turn the key - BANG from behind me. Quite a big bang, like someone had reversed in to you but without the movement. This would happen when turning the key to the ON position, i.e. not even trying to turn the engine over, just the electrics on. Sometimes it wouldn’t be a bang but instead a kind of ‘wheeee’ like a motor spinning for a half second then stopping. I have no idea what that was, and it stopped doing it after a few times which is quite worrying.
I didn’t use the car much over winter, maybe 1-2 times per week for a few miles, so never got really bad symptoms. They were still there but generally I was home by the time they were starting to occur so the engine was switched off and I was in having a cup of tea with my slippers on pretending everything was fine.
A couple of weeks ago was time for my service, so I took it as an opportunity to investigate a bit more. I changed the oil filter, flushed the engine, changed the oil, changed the sparks again, cleaned and re-oiled the K&N filter, and changed the fuel filter (which feels bit like trying to defuse a bomb as you lift it carefully out of the open tank). When changing the spark plugs (only 8 months since the last change) I was again horrified to see the right hand two (when looking from the back of the car) had rust and brown gunk all around the threads and the tips were blackened. Along with this, the right hand spark chamber had lots of white dust-like corrosion down inside it. My guess is I didn’t quite get away with the rain disaster like I though. So I took all the plugs out, took the rocker cover off, gave it all a good clean to remove all the corrosion dust, fitted a new rocker gasket, put it all back together and new plugs in. The inside of the valve chamber looked in good health whilst I had the rocker cover off.
I started it back up hoping I’d finally solved it. Up to operating temperature, all good, took it out for a 20 mile drive, all good. Next day, I went for a 10 mile drive, parked the car for 10 minutes, got back in and turned the key, and it was straight in to rough idling, vibrating, and hesitation under acceleration again.
My Hunches
I’m now at the limit of my guesswork I think. I’ve ruled out spark plugs, coils, injectors, fuel filter, air filter, vacuum leaks (almost), rocker cover leaks, and service items. Pretty much all the standard ignition system problems you find on the internet. I’m wondering if it could be a dirty maf sensor, but there are no maf error codes (though to be fair it’s only reported misfire codes twice so I don’t exactly trust it). I’m also wondering if it could be fuel pump or even ECU. I’m almost at the point of thinking I need to take the engine out and strip it down, but I’d really rather not as I need to use the car weekly and although I think I could probably do it, it would likely take me weeks.
Hopefully I’ve tried to describe all the symptoms in detail in case anyone can see a pattern or something I’ve missed. I’ve got an OBD reader and can map the sensor graphs but I haven’t included any because there are a lot and I’m not entirely sure what ‘normal’ is. If you want me to grab any specific graphs please let me know and I will be happy to post in the thread.
So, thank you for reading, and where do I go from here? 📷

submitted by StrangeHorror7406 to mr2 [link] [comments]

2024.04.18 06:26 WhenPiggsFly I need help navigating my ex fiancé 's recent BPD episode

I have been in a year 1/2 long relationship and I need help. (We are both 20 and his is active duty military )

let me start out by saying I met this guy on Tinder in the winter of 2023, and we really hit it off. I didn’t think we’d be anything more than”fwb” considering my previous track record with men on Tinder, however he took me to New Orleans on our second date, showed me a wonderful time and took care of me when I had a little too much to drink.

That was maybe a week after we had met each other
after knowing him for a week, he asked me out and told me he really loved and cared for me at the time and I gladly accepted however, as soon as I packed my bags to head back to my home town in LA, I received a text stating he didn’t see things going anywhere and he rather just break things off. I was so hurt and confused ! The anger I felt was like no other, and I angrily drove the 5 hours back home to cry in my bed.

this vicious cycle of stability and then unsuitability from him continued, he would break up with me and blame it on his BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder), and tell me he really loved me and just had an episode.

after a few months of back and forth, he finally had a streak of improvement, where I didn’t worry about him breaking up with me (this was summer of 2023). He decided that he wanted to get married and purposed to me on vacation. I was thrilled! I picked out my own ring(THAT I CO-SIGNED FOR) and thought I would live happily ever after.

but soon, as in this current month, we started to plan a date, get serious about our next steps in life, we went to one counseling session together to work on some small issues and I thought my life was just beginning. However a couple days ago, he broke up with me via text so I drove to meet him on base and confront him, I LOVE HIM how could he do this? Then today, I received a text that he had been “talking “ with another girl’s friend. I’m heartbroken and I don’t know if he will “Yo-Yo” back into my life, or if he is done. He blocked me on selective apps. Since I wrote this post ( several days ago), he has demanded my engagement ring back(it’s in my name he just used his card to pay) and has since unblocked me and said horrid things about my character. I love him and want him back because he was my best friend. (Please don’t judge I'm confused and lost)

submitted by WhenPiggsFly to BPDlovedones [link] [comments]

2024.04.17 17:45 TreeTalesHub Bamboo Palm Tree: A Complete Guide

The Bamboo Palm Tree! Often heralded for its lush, exotic charm, this green gem can transform any space into a tropical sanctuary. If you consider adding a touch of the tropics to your home or garden, the Bamboo Palm might be your new best friend. Here's everything you need to know to start, keep it thriving, and turn your neighbors green with envy!
Bamboo Palm Tree

What is a Bamboo Palm?

First, the Bamboo Palm, scientifically known as Chamaedorea seifrizii, is not bamboo. It belongs to the palm family and gets its name from the bamboo-like pattern on its canes. Native to Mexico and Central America, it flourishes under the canopy of towering trees, making it ideally suited for low-light conditions indoors.

Choosing the Right Spot

Finding the perfect spot is crucial. Bamboo Palms prefer indirect light and can even tolerate some shade. Too much direct sunlight can scorch its leaves, leaving them brown and crispy, which is not a good look! A north-facing window or a spot that receives filtered light is ideal. Just right, you'll see it sprouting fresh, vibrant leaves in no time!

Planting and Soil

Now, let's dig into the dirt! Bamboo Palms are not too picky, but they do love well-draining soil. Mixing potting soil with sand or perlite makes a cozy home for its roots. When planting, ensure the pot has drainage holes to prevent waterlogging, which can cause all sorts of trouble, like root rot. No one wants that!

Watering and Humidity

Water, but only in some places! These palms like their soil moist but not soggy. Water them when the top inch of soil feels dry to the touch. And here's a tip: they love humidity! If your home is dry, misting the leaves or placing a humidifier nearby can mimic their natural humid environment. It's like bringing some of the tropics into your living room!

Fertilizing

A little food goes a long way to keep your Bamboo Palm looking its best. Feed it with a balanced, water-soluble fertilizer every month during the growing season (spring and summer). You can cut back to feeding every other month in the fall and winter. Just the right amount of nutrients will keep it healthy and growing strong.

Pruning and Cleaning

Keeping your Bamboo Palm tidy is pretty straightforward. Snip off any yellow or dead leaves at the base to keep it looking neat. Dust the leaves occasionally to unblock their pores. This helps the plant breathe and keeps it looking fresh and glossy.

Common Pests and Problems

Keep an eye out for troublemakers like spider mites and mealybugs, which are fond of eating your beautiful Bamboo Palm. If you spot these pests, a gentle soap and water solution can help wash them away. Also, look for signs of overwatering or underwatering. Yellow leaves could signal too much water, while brown tips might mean it's too dry.

Conclusion

Who knew a plant could add so much to your space? With just a bit of care, the Bamboo Palm can thrive and bring a piece of the tropical vibe to your home. It's easy to see why it's a popular choice for gardeners and green thumbs alike. So why not give it a shot? Roll up your sleeves, get dirty, and soon enough, you'll have a thriving Bamboo Palm to show off. Happy planting!

submitted by TreeTalesHub to u/TreeTalesHub [link] [comments]

2024.04.14 23:16 abs_111 Resident cat pushed into life threatening emergency due to stress caused by new housemate (cat) - is it wrong to keep the cats separated forever?

My resident cat is an orange male, 3.5 years. He takes fluoxetine (Prozac) daily for anxiety issues (urinating on blankets or couches when stressed).
We (husband and I) recently lost our home in a tornado this winter and found a new furry friend in the rubble (literally, he was under the porch of our demolished home). This new cat is male, estimated 3 years old, and a very friendly fellow. He has never met a stranger!
Well, the cats hate each other. I did a slow intro in our (temporary) new home for nearly 6 weeks, use Feliway (pheremone diffuser), play with both of them, encourage treats together, have separate litter boxes, the whole nine yards. 4 months later there is still a dominance issue and bullying involved (new cat won't let resident cat roam free without stalking/trying to attack).
I understand some cats take a while to acclimate to one another. However, this week, resident cat got a urinary blockage - vet deemed that it was caused by stress. So I spent $3k at the Emergency Vet to unblock and keep overnight. I KNOW this was caused by his constant fear of the new cat. I feel like a terrible cat mother to both of them.
Now, we have them separated completely. This issue may re-occur for the resident cat if he does not have stable environment. The vet recommends the resident cat live in a single-cat household, but I am extremely opposed to re-homing our new cat (morally, emotionally - it just feels wrong). However, we do have a local business near our home (we work in an air conditioned building) that the new cat could be moved to. My husband is at the building every single day, and we work a 2 minute walk from our house, so the new cat would not be lonely. I have Wifi enabled food and water fountains for both cats, and automatic litter boxes. I am only concerned about night, when no one is there.
What's worse? Rehoming or keeping the new cat in a separate location? I am trying to frame it as a "bodega cat" situation in my head. But I am just so torn up. TYIA

submitted by abs_111 to CatAdvice [link] [comments]

2024.04.10 11:03 Unhappy_Trade7289 AITA for not cutting down my tree?

My wife and I (44m) bought and moved into our house in 2015. My neighbour (60s?f) has apparently lived in her house since the 1980s and lives alone. We live in suburban Australia on the outskirts of town with no back neighbours. My backyard has a large established alder tree which we love, it is next to a fence which the neighbour's driveway runs along. Each year since I've lived here, my neighbour has become increasingly annoyed about the tree during winter. This is the approx timeline:

Neighbour said the tree needs pruning because in winter it blocks her sun. We pruned it.
Tree grew back so we agreed to make sure I get it pruned each winter.
Next year I got it pruned but she wasn't happy so said her boyfriend would trim it because some branches were too close to her house (I would disagree). I said ok. I was away for the day but when I got home wife said he was up the tree with a chainsaw and had piled the limbs in my backyard, then lit a bonfire. Wife assumed I had asked him to do this, I had not. The tree was completely butchered.
It miraculously grew back, then a few years later my street had plumbing problems. Neighbour blamed the tree saying the roots were getting into the terracotta sewer system and that's why it grows so tall.

Her boyfriend at that stage worked for the water corporation here so he apparently put his camera down the sewer and said that yes, the tree is blocking the drain, and they said, well, the only solution is to get it removed. I called some plumbers to come and check cause I wanted another opinion, and they found a blockage and unblocked it, but they said that no tree roots were found. Fast forward to Monday, and my neighbour is furious. Out of the blue she sent a message saying the tree must go because: Seeds get into the car engine and she can't drive her car anymore
Seeds build up behind the windscreen seals so they leak, and she has replaced 3 windscreens because of this
Her heat pump outdoor unit gets clogged with seeds
She gets no sun until "mid morning" but can't afford to pay for heating because she is retiring soon She had some renos done in the 80s to do something with the heatflow in her house, but this no longer matters because the tree blocks the sun
Mould problems
Her clothesline gets blocked by the sun in the morning (I'm pretty sure it doesn't) so she needs to use a dryer, but can't afford to anymore
She needs to pressure clean her driveway every spring because it gets mouldy and slippery Her gutters and deck are "full of leaves all the time"
She gets no TV reception She said the only solution is to remove it and plant a hedge, and she would help me pay for this. But I said no, the tree is staying, I'll just get the pruner in early. She says if she's not happy with the prune she will seek legal action. tl;dr: My tree is ruining my neighbour's life but I like it and don't want to cut it

submitted by Unhappy_Trade7289 to AmItheAsshole [link] [comments]

2024.04.08 09:56 Alopronto24h Need help ASAP? Discover how Emergency Services London 24H can assist you!

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submitted by Alopronto24h to u/Alopronto24h [link] [comments]

2024.04.07 14:48 No_Veterinarian5773 TIFU by telling my ex-bestfriend that she’s an insecure obsessed bitch

I (18F) used to be friends with this girl (19F) who we’ll call Sarah, when i was in 8th grade and she was in freshman year, we became friends through my current best friend, keep this in mind since it’ll be important later. we stayed friends up until 2 weeks before winter break ended, she was kind of a loner and didn’t have friends in her grade because she had fights with everyone who actually tried to become her friend.
I was friends with 2 girls from her grade that she hates, she used to be friends with one of them and had a fight for reasons i do not know and the other one she just hated her for “being the school whore”. she always got mad at me for hanging out with these girls or anyone she slightly disliked, even the ones who didn’t do anything to her. i stopped being friends with her and i thought that was it, but she told people my secrets and spread rumors about me throughout school until she graduated, i never stood up for myself due to sarah being diagnosed with autism so the counselor would immediately defend her.
Now i’m almost done with high school and she goes to a university nearby. i noticed that my current best friend, let’s call her Jen, hid her story from my main account on instagram but not my private account. when i checked her story on my private account, i saw that she posted stories of her hanging out with Sarah. i texted Jen and said “just so you know, you don’t need to hide your story from me so you can post Sarah. you can be friends with anyone you want to and you know that.” jen responded almost immediately and apologized saying sarah made her do it because she was scared i’d send it to my friends and make fun of her.
this made me super mad. i went on to unblock sarah and said “you actually have took it way too far. you literally humiliated me for years and now you’re the one who’s scared you’ll get made fun of? are you fucking kidding me? and that wasn’t enough, you just had to drag jen into it too. it’s been 4 years since we stopped being friends, get over it. i’ve had many falling-outs with people throughout those 4 years and they all got over it. you’re actually an insecure obsessed bitch who uses her diagnosis to get away with everything. you’re a terrible person and i hope one day you go through what i went through.” she left me on seen and went off to cry on facetime to jen. jen texted me and told me i was way too harsh on her and that i should apologize. jen is a kind and genuine person who doesn’t wish anything bad on anyone, her words got to me and now i realize i let my anger get the best of me, i sent her an apology and she rightfully so left me on seen. TL;DR: i fucked up by getting mad at my ex-bestfriend for telling our friend to hide her story from me, causing me to text her an angry paragraph that made her cry.

submitted by No_Veterinarian5773 to tifu [link] [comments]

2024.04.05 04:35 ThrowRA92740185 Almost broke 9 months no contact today… here’s the unsent text. I love her and want her to help her mental health and avoidance so bad. I miss her personality and our niche interests too. But she hurt me, seeked validation from other men, shut down etc

I think now you are looking up and applying for PhD school. I don’t have much money, as all I have left is going to successfully avoiding any student loans and debt. But hopefully this 5$ can get you a bag of Hawaiian onion chippos or a tub of breyer’s rocky road. I’m sorry how things turned out especially post break up. I can finally see clearly now that nearly a year passed and all the anger, pain, and resentment I suffered no longer blinds me. Even if I was mistreated and neglected, I should have recognized and been more grateful that you were trying your hardest, despite your childhood traumas, avoidance and it being your first serious relationship. I also realized looking back how many mistakes I made in the break up. Most of all I regret I wasn’t still fully ready to talk and I regret trying to force closure (for a relationship I soon ended because I realized I wasn’t ready for anyone). I really had good intentions but it’s no excuse. They were misguided and so many of my actions made it hard for either of us to heal. In retrospect without intense emotions it is easy to see that someone I cared for as my everything would take months or even year(s) to get over. Instead I rushed and made it nothing but harder for you and hurt you. While I still do not know if I was never more than a useful sex friend, it’s clear there was emotional attachment to me and I’m sorry for thinking there wasn’t when I was emotional and all that I put you through post break up.
I don’t expect anything back. I just want to give you a small gift in what might be a stressful time (like applying to masters school was), and apologize. I am changing and working on myself alone. Overall things are going well. Clinics starting soon and I’m ranked top 10 so I can do a residency when I apply this winter. I both hope and am sure your life is experiencing similar success but I want to wish you well. I still miss my best friend in the world and want to see and talk to her again more than anything, but that’s my own problem and hope. Anything we did together was always better and more fun than it would be alone. I miss you. I decided to unblock so I can be there if for some reason you ever want to reach out so we can talk or even reconcile if possible and we both want (there are things both of us need to work on and agreed boundaries if that is ever to happen). Until then we can just both work on ourselves to be better on our own. If things are meant to be then it’ll happen so I really don’t expect even a response. If it’s not meant to be then that’s the way it is. I’m happy enough with the Pygmy sperm whale picture you drew. I framed it. I’ll treasure it forever.
I any case I hope in the end you finally find/found what lifestyle and things, makes you truly happy in life. If you forgot about me and want to keep it that way then please just take the free money and hopefully this will be the last time you ever hear of me.

submitted by ThrowRA92740185 to ExNoContact [link] [comments]

2024.04.05 04:32 ThrowRA92740185 Almost broke 9 months no contact today… I love her and want her to help her mental health and avoidance so bad. I miss her personality and our niche interests too. But she hurt me, seeked validation from other men, shut down etc

submitted by ThrowRA92740185 to UnsentLetters [link] [comments]

http://rodzice.org/