Hey Everyone! I’m a Hispanic male/nonbinary person. Looking to make a nice connection with a nice open masculine man. I lean more towards the feminine side of the scale and want to be up front about that. Additionally, I’m typing this on my phone so forgive me on spelling, grammar, and editing issues.
My Hobbies: Video Games, meeting new people, reading books, taking long walks, trying new restaurants, going out to dance, shopping, and traveling.
Physical Description: As I stated before I’m Hispanic. I lean on the feminine side. I stand at about 5’6. Average body. Thicc thighs and booty lol. I keep my hair short. I’ve been described often as cute. I’m light skinned. I have my ears pierced. I’m happy to send pics and you should be too.
What I’m looking for: Ideally I’m looking for a masculine top. But more importantly someone I can be friends with. If you’re someone who struggles to maintain contact and can’t initiate conversation it’ll be hard for us. I want us both to feel wanted. We can start on reddit chat and then work to other apps if we click. Please be around my age. Lowest age I will go is 26 years old. My ideal friend would be someone who is open to platonic and romantic pursuits.
If any of this resonates with you please message me.
Hope to hear from yall soon.

Hey Everyone! I’m a Hispanic male/nonbinary person. Looking to make a nice connection with a nice open masculine man. I lean more towards the feminine side of the scale and want to be up front about that. Additionally, I’m typing this on my phone so forgive me on spelling, grammar, and editing issues.
My Hobbies: Video Games, meeting new people, reading books, taking long walks, trying new restaurants, going out to dance, shopping, and traveling. Physical Description: As I stated before I’m Hispanic. I lean on the feminine side. I stand at about 5’6. Average body. Thicc thighs and booty lol. I keep my hair short. I’ve been described often as cute. I’m light skinned. I have my ears pierced. I’m happy to send pics and you should be too.
What I’m looking for: Ideally I’m looking for a masculine top. But more importantly someone I can be friends with. If you’re someone who struggles to maintain contact and can’t initiate conversation it’ll be hard for us. I want us both to feel wanted. We can start on reddit chat and then work to other apps if we click. Please be around my age. Lowest age I will go is 26 years old. My ideal person would be someone who is open to platonic and romantic pursuits. If any of this resonates with you please message me.
Hope to hear from yall soon.

Kinda Anxious Feeling like What's The Purpose Of Living Sometimes.
Like Just Life People Is Not As Compassionate of someone with differences
As I feel Like Someone in my Position I Would Emphasize and try to understand
And not make Judgements because I'm not in their position
Just I'm Trying Not to Commit Suicide
I'm trying because the Thought is always in the back of my head through the Day
Like People Don't understand Which is understandable since they not on my Two feet
They are Not JaMarcus So They wouldn't Understand JaMarcus Perspective
Just Im Trying to Survive In A World Where I feel I should Die
I'm trying To Cope
Found Working out at home as a good coping mechanism
Mentally and physically
Only last a Hour post workout but really helps my anxiety temporarily
And helps me cope because everyday I wake up and wonder why
People Make me feel like I should Die
Constantly hear you are a burden
Or you are not good enough
I feel like I don't have any talents
And if I did have talents it's limited due to my Agoraphobia and Social Anxiety
and Panic Attacks Generalized Anxiety and Bipolar disorder I have
Feel like Capitalism kinda brutal
If you have a Disability which this issue is disabling
Makes me really sad
Just take the advice of my therapist and try not to dwell on it
Because if I do I probably wouldn't be alive right now . So I try to watch movies or listen to music
Or workout when I feel like that
Doesn't get rid of the feeling of not wanting to live
But it distracts me
Working out definitely does
It just my workout equipment really helps me
It's like having a support animal
Just feel like I'm not ready for a Service Animal or Support animal
I have difficulty leaving my house
And that wouldn't be fair to a animal if I couldn't take them outside to urinate or defecate
So I'm trying to wait until my condition improves so I can maintain another animal
Plus I live alone and don't have a wife or anything that would watch my Animal if I could not do it
Which Is not their responsibility it's mine since it's my animal
So working out at home really helps
I be scared of what my neighbors think
Because I literally tip-toe around my house which is not normal
Because I be scared I'm disturbing the neighbors
Even when I work out I have Silencer Pads that literally absorbed the vibration and sound of my weights
And I don't even drop my weights like a lot of people do
I don't Deadlift I only do bent over rows
And I gently put the weights on my silencer pads
When I lift dumbbells I don't drop my dumbbells on the floor
I gently put them down on my silencing pads
I squat lightly
I ride my cardio bike quietly
I bench press quietly
Just be scared my neighbors would complain
Even though I'm very gentle
And tip toe literally around my house
Because I be scared
I don't even play loud music
Like I have a neighbor that does play loud music
But he doesn't bother me
But I gently have on my noise cancelling headphones
But I'm scared because July 4th is coming up
And fireworks and Gunshots
I get nightmares and bad anxiety
Flashbacks of being shot at by my dad
Some of these fireworks now sounds almost like a gunshot but not quite
A gunshot you feel vibrations a gun has more velocity and force
And loud its scary
Especially them big guns I used to hear in Adamsville
Just I be feeling like I don't deserve to live
Because people make me feel guilty and I didn't ask to have bad anxiety
Got worse after getting shot at and other experiences that happened in my life.
Like People don't understand this just don't effects me Financially and employment wise
It also effects me interpersonally and romantically and recreationally even sexually
I can't even orgasm from sex regardless of how good the Woman feels.
And sometimes I have Erectile issues because of my anxiety
Like I'm limited to just dating apps and social media
Which I rarely be on because of my anxiety..
But people especially Extroverts don't really understand
Because they like people and stuff
Like Wendy Williams Famous Gossiper
Extroverts love crowds they love people
They love parties the more people the more energetic they get
Like when I tried to play Football 🏈 and Basketball 🏀
I quit though regardless of my talent
And basketball I couldn't get the play structure.
Because basketball plays keep going on until someone shoots the ball
Atleast at School level
And my anxiety and Stuff makes it hard to get the plays
And organized basketball is not freestyle like I played at home
Which I was good 1 on 1 or 1 on 2.
I'll quit the basketball or football 🏈 team before the season starts...
Because of the agoraphobia and my Generalized Anxiety
Like Royce White he difficulty riding airplanes which they do in the NBA automatically due to schedule
He couldn't continue A NBA career because of that
Just in practice
Like I relate To Kobe Bryant
I'm not All the way Personality Wise like Kobe Bryant
But Similarities
Like Teammates had a problem with me
Because I didn't go to social gatherings and get pizza and stuff
After practices and scrimmages
Like due to my anxiety I was feeling in practices
I had good practices performance wise if it didn't involve running plays
But they didn't understand
But Teammates always had a problem with me
Call me Stuck Up Arrogant and all kinds of stuff
During the school day
Because my teammates were extroverted like
They like to talk and hangout after practice
And talk in the locker room
And I would immediately go home after practice
Because of my anxiety I was feeling
People don't understand I was having headaches and etc
Because I couldn't go but people get mad
Because they don't understand why I stay in my house
Like People online They extroverts
I attract extroverts
I'm already I guess introverted
Due to My agoraphobia and Generalized Anxiety and panic attacks I get
Just Shaquille O'Neal was More of A Extroverted Guy
I'm assuming Kobe Bryant was More introverted
Especially After The Incident in 2002-2003 probably became more introverted
But Shaq didn't understand
Because he is a extroverted he likes making people laugh being in public places and stuff
That's the part I relate to Kobe Bryant on
Just People don't understand people online get mad because I don't call or text them
Even extroverted family members
They take it so personal if I don't call
They don't understand what it's like to have Agoraphobia and Social Anxiety and Generalized Anxiety and etc
They don't understand they take it so personal
Like I personally don't like them or something
I have family members dead or alive..that's probably were or is mad at me
Because I didn't call them as much
It's not that I don't like them it's just hard to hold a conversation over the phone
But nobody understand since I'm a rare person
People call you lazy or all kinds of stuff
Because they just can't accept that this issue which Been
Effecting me my whole life
They don't understand because it's not them
They think it's not real or I'm faking It or exaggerating it
But this my life
This causes my depression genetically to get worse
I think being housebound and alone
Without social connections
Would make anyone depressed or even suicidal
Because 2020 I seen people feeling the way I feel in my day to day life
And some people still don't understand
Just I also don't like Georgia Whether Albany or Atlanta
I just don't like Georgia
I have so many bad memories and nightmares in Georgia
I'm never going back
I rather kill myself before I go back there.
Pain emotionally, Racism people Act like Atlanta Georgia doesn't have Racism
But This Is Where Dr King is from
Not as bad as Albany Georgia
But it's there not in the inner city
But all throughout the Suburbs and further
They are there
It's White people in Atlanta Metro as well
They keep acting like Atlanta is this black metropolis
Which is not I'm from Georgia
It's Not!!!
I had prejudiced teachers in the metro Atlanta area
They keep acting like Atlanta is this Extremely progressive place
If that's was the case Why Georgia Atleast In my lifetime there
Was red every election since 1992 because I wasn't born yet in 1992
Until I left in 2020
Even during the Obama years
I remember Georgia going red in 2008 before the night was over
They act like we don't have those people down there
Yeah 2020 it was a battleground
But the Obama years it went red quick
Even in 2016 red a little quicker than 2020
Just not true
Not saying Atlanta is Horrible
But it's very Overrated
It's no different than any other major city
People that are not from Georgia saying this
It makes me very mad kinda trigger me
Makes my blood boil
But it's their opinion doesn't mean it's true
Act like Atlanta doesn't have problems
Like HIV issues
It's a bunch of people that don't even know they are HIV positive in Atlanta . Some people scared to get tested which I understand
I wouldn't recommend prep to everyone unless you are a Sex Worker
Or kinda Impulsive like I am
Trying to make people happy and not make people feel weird
Because I wear condoms
Because some people get offended if I want to wear a condom
So HIV Medicine is kinda hard on the kidneys I take prep
Which is a HIV Medicine not 100% but helps but is hard on the kidneys
Since HIV Medicine is very powerful which it should . because it saved a lot of people lives
But as a person that doesn't have HIV it's hard on the kidneys
But Atlanta has problems It has Poverty I lived in impoverished areas on the West Side and Eastside
Throughout my life
Have family members living paycheck to paycheck
It's just like any other American city living paycheck to paycheck
Majority of the City is named after Mr Ted Turner
Mr Turner Had a baseball field named after him
Just Not saying Atlanta is bad but just overrated
It's no different than any other city
Actually when I moved to Atlanta I first seen Snow ❄️
Because Albany Southwest Georgia where I'm from
It doesn't snow it never snows
Maybe ice but doesn't snow
It rains a lot though in South Georgia
More Prone To Floods
Swampy Coastal Plain
Black Belt Cotton Belt they call it.
But Atlanta has homeless people as well
I remember when I first moved to Atlanta in 2006 I remember seeing
Black homeless people sleepy under bridges
And seeing them in centennial Park
And at the crowded underground Atlanta
And of course the train stations
Because it's warm in the train station
It has AC and Heat on the trains
So I don't blame the homeless
They trying to survive
But I remember seeing that all the time
On my end of Martin Luther King Drive
Remember seeing a church's a Kentucky fried chicken and a new Popeyes
On the same street
But no good quality grocery stores
Just family dollars and low quality grocery stores
That unfortunately doesn't have the resources
That's all I seen
I lived on the Westside of Southwest Atlanta for a long time
Remember being on Simpson road now Joseph E Boone
But remember seeing people smoking crack in broad daylight
Remember Seeing impoverished black people
My mom used to work on Simpson road as a property manager at a apartment complex
So I was over there Alot riding Marta with my mom
And I remember seeing the Georgia dome and centennial Park further down
And it looks so good
Vine city train station
Why where the Georgia dome it looks so good
But just further down Simpson road or Joseph E Boone
I see poverty like night and day
I lived there it's has poverty and homeless actually majority of the homeless is black
Cost of living since people is moving to Atlanta at high rates
Rent went up probably not California or New York level
Since those are bigger way larger cities
But Rent is not the same as it was in 2006
I remember you could get a 2 bedroom in a bad area for 700$ in 2006
On Simpson road you could get a 2 bedroom for 500$
But very run down and of course the bluff is across the street
But it's not like that
The music scene Is okay
Personally I don't like it
Atlanta been on top since 2001 when Jermaine dupri came out with Ludacris
And TIP came out with I'm Serious
But I never liked the music scene
I was stuck On Outkast and the 90s East and West
Mainly New York Rappers and Tupac and Kendrick and Ras Kass and stuff.
I know I don't remember I was young
But I grew up On East Coast Rap mainly and Tupac
Just when I was younger I was forced to listen to radio
And V103 used to play guys in Atlanta
And they would play their songs like 5 times in 1 hour
Got tired of it and they never played rappers from other regions
Seem like Atlanta labels payed V103 especially 2013
I had to stop listening
Because I really didn't like the sound
I'm kinda stuck on The Lyrical East Coast sound.
Or Tupac
So I listen mainly to Seattle Grunge and Jazz and Soft Rock
Alternative rock
No Country because not all country music is bad
But gives me prejudice vibes
Because I remember Kid Rock Did A Song with a Country Music Legend
And I remember hearing him and He Said All Kinds Of N-Words and etc
Just life Atlanta is overrated
Just in my experience I got shot at by my dad
Racism which is everywhere
But listening to these people you'll think Atlanta has no racism
Kinda anxious
Just be venting
Because life is hard to live in trying to
Just people don't understand why I have a hard time functioning
Done with the new paragraph
Just going to repost the older paragraph because I'm basically going to type the same thing again like I always do
Just a regular dude venting my life
I talk like this on camera which is exhausting
And off camera to my mom and to myself in my room
Thinking because I do talk to myself since I don't have friends
I don't answer my self
But speak aloud my thoughts and feelings to release tension and stress
So this just me venting on my life.
This something I been feeling Since I was like 5 years old
I kinda knew when I was 17 it was going to be even rough adulthood than childhood
Which I tried to kill myself in 2010 when I was on Gresham road
Which that Was behind the scenes at home
Only my brother and mother seen it
Just I kinda tried numerous jobs
From McDonald's to Goodwill to factories working upwards to 16 hours some days
Trying to push through but my body couldn't handle that
Like I was feeling "Flight or Fight" responses like I was Running From Being Shot at night
By My Dad in 2011
Still have nightmares about that it just doesn't go away
And more scenarios in my childhood as well I'm not going to disclose.
People don't understand I jump when I hear gunshots
I try to not look crazy around people
So I try to look normal
But every time I hear a gunshot or something my heart starts pumping
And I start feeling exhausted and sad
Like I can't control if someone shoots a gun or pops a firecracker
But I try to put on my noise cancelling headphones
Even certain songs I have to mute if I hear a gunshot sound
If I can catch it
Even movies I'm not familiar with
I try to mute sounds if a gunshot scene comes
If I can catch it
This really a big issue
But people don't see that when I have to mute my TV
They also don't see
When I have bad days
They probably don't see if I have good days
I try to get laughs in
Because laughter is natural medicine
To distract from the negative thoughts I have everyday
They don't see due to my meds
That have me very sleepy which I take at night.. but carries on to the next morning
Sometimes I wake up at 12 pm sometimes late as 5 pm
Seroquel just does that
Even I tried waking up early I end up going back to sleep
I literally have to take a pre workout supplement
Which has caffeine which makes my anxiety worse
Just to fight it the medicine
Like I workout it's the best medicine
Better than any Prescription drug I don't do recreational drugs
But it naturally gets rid of my anxiety while working out at home
Didn't work In a commercial gym.
Which this gym equipment saved my life
It really helps me
If I lose that I probably will kill myself
And I was at risk of Type 2 diabetes
And my blood work was off due to I couldn't work out since I didn't leave my house
And of Course mentally I got really depressed since I didn't have no coping mechanism
I be depressed Alot but working out helps me cope with the thoughts I have
And temporarily gets rid of my anxiety
But only last 1 hour post workout
And anxiety comes back
Some people think I'm on steroids
Which I think I'm small
But I can't keep a stable job
Plus steroids cost money
If I can barely afford food and amino acids
Which comes from protein and food
How can I afford steroids?
I never took a steroid
I don't even take creatine anymore
Because my kidneys
And I have health issues which my natural testosterone is ok
So I have no reason to take steroids and I'm not competing in bodybuilding shows
I'm not a YouTuber or social media influencer making $1000s or even 100,000$
Making money on the Internet so I don't have a reason to
Plus due to the medicine I take it effects my Kidneys
Like I hope my kidneys are ok
Because I love to workout and it really helps me
I probably would kill myself if I can't workout and build muscle anymore
I don't use steroids
Just men's vitamins and fish oil and beta alanine and protein and amino acids from protein
I eat 200 grams daily since I'm 235 right now
Just hope my kidneys get back normal
Because I take a lot of medicine
Might have to stop one of my medications
Because I take Prep Which is A HIV medicine
Because I'm so paranoid of Contracting HIV
But I Don't even have sex like that since I don't leave my house
But I just take prep because I be scared I'm going to get HIV for a Hypothetical reason
Which I know HIV medicines I don't have HIV
I understand if I had it
But I don't Have HIV I take Prep Which is a HIV Medicine to prevent Catching it
Which HIV meds is hard on the kidneys
But Weird Thing is I don't even have sex
I haven't had sex with a woman since 2022
I haven't been in a relationship since 2019
Which was my only relationship with a woman
Just I Do Have a Desire for sex like every other human being
But Masturbating is such a lonely experience
And sometimes gets depressing

Nice to meet you :)
I recently graduated from university with a bachelor's degree in computer science, and now that my life is finally starting, I feel like meeting new people and seeing where things go. I'm a hopeless romantic, but I also believe true love grows organically from friendship, so I'd like to take things slow and get to know you first. If we do vibe though, get ready to be showered in love, as I can be quite clingy <3
Before you continue reading, I would like to disclose some dealbreakers, just to save you time.

• I'm using this as an alternative to dating apps (cuz they suck and they're literally designed to keep people lonely), and I don't feel comfortable talking to people whose face I can't see. Physical attraction matters to me, so if you're interested, please send a selfie in your reply, and I'll do the same. If you're not comfortable with that (which is completely understandable), then I may not be interested.
• I'm only attracted to people of a similar body weight as mine (I'm slim). This is not a judgment, I simply can't help what I'm attracted to. If you identify as above average weight, then we'll probably not be a good match, but I wish you the best.
• My preferred age range is 19-24, but I could go slightly higher.

Looks: I'm white and have pale skin, green eyes, and dark brown hair. I'm skinny to slightly muscular, and I've been told that I'm decently attractive (wish my self-esteem could agree tho). I also have an accent, which girls I've been with have liked a lot ;)
Interests: * Videogames: I've been playing games my entire life! The main games I play lately are Age of Empires 4, Dead by Daylight, League, Apex, Minecraft, and Stardew. I would love to play with you, as I think videogame dates are pretty cute :) My absolute favorite franchises are Resident Evil and Silent Hill, alongside other survival horror games such as Signalis which I'm obsessed with. * Shows/Anime/Movies: my favorites for the first include Stranger Things, Breaking Bad, and Better Call Saul. My favorites for the second include Death Note, Attack on Titan, Monster, Cowboy Bebop, and Madoka Magica. My favorites for the third include La La Land, Whiplash, Perfect Blue, and The Last Samurai. I'm always open to watching new things, as there's sooooo much stuff out there. * Music: I've played the piano here and there throughout my life, and have taken classes on music theory. My secret dream is to be in a band, and I love to sing when nobody's listening ;) * Exercise: would you be my gym partner? <3 I mainly do calisthenics such as pushups, squats, crunches, and planks, as I like being in shape and it feels good. * Languages: I speak Spanish, English, and lately I've been mastering Japanese! After that I probably wanna learn German or French. * Nerdy shit: I love going on youtube binges and taking online courses on random stuff, lately I've been interested in artificial intelligence. * Psychology: I'm neurodivergent, and it helps me understand myself and be my best self :) * Goth culture: I never tell anyone this, but I'm actually huge into goth music, fashion, and art. I'd love to meet people who are into it!
Personality: I'm an ISTP and Cancer sign. While on the outside I may seem like an analytical and strong guy, on the inside I'm very empathetic and emotional, to the point I tend to feel things way too strongly. I've always been a hopeless romantic, and love is my #1 pursuit in life, as I believe there's nothing more beautiful. I've been in relationships before, and have learned to give and receive love and be the best boyfriend I can be. I'm neurodivergent (ADHD and possibly a bit of the tism among other things) and it's an important part of me. I'm also an atheist and don't want kids, although I may be open to them.
If you've read this far, please mention axolotls in your message, as they're the cutest. Thank you so much for your time, and I'm thrilled to get to know you :)

I'm generally a big fan of Tao Wongs work, controversy aside. I was excited to see a new book. I Made it 25% of the way in before deciding to pass on this one.
Ultimately me finding our protagonist Matt unappealing prevented me from pushing further. It starts out with Matt getting fired for sticking to his work boundaries. But none of his coworkers seem to care about this and even Matt doesn't feel to bad about the situation. Lots can be dissected here but overall he didn't grab me, and then he agrees to essentially be isekaid with a bit of odd fetishing of others who might have also agreed.
Zap. The next new introduction and he's kind of an ass to those he's with. It gets bad when you look even a little bit deeper. Stripped of last names, borrowed bodies, the ass is now a "lord" with difference. But with a lack of communication/wonder. There is a whole unfashionablly tight pants on an old man that had me scratching my head.
Next we dive into the game like mechanics and "army" selection. There we get inconsistent world building. Historical cultures, yet not sentient, but only for humans before abandoning them for non-human options. The protagonist who wasn't even much of a gamer doesn't use his skills or smarts much in a very and waving selection process.
It all felt very incontinent with not quite understood stakes.
25% in there was little plot movement, understanding, antagonists, and appeal for the story. I was unsure of the promise setting up the book and shocked I'd already read a quarter of it.
I didn't get the vibe this might be ghost written, like I have when I read Krouts Lord January book. But it is such a drop off and I know some authors do that. So it wouldn't shock me.
1.5 of 5 stars. An unappealing mess from an author whose work I generally enjoy.
https://www.amazon.com/Magic-Kingdom-War-4x-LitRPG-ebook/dp/B0D343FD83?ref_=ast_author_mpb

Hey now out there in the land of Reddit! I'm a disabled, limited mobility, power wheel chair user who really wants to get into VR gaming to increase upper body strength.Is there anyone and or group that are able to roll me in the right direction on my quest to have some VR fun and exercise? Thank you in advance...✌🏽🍀✌🏽 #accessiblefun #accessiblefitness #accessiblegaming

Personally, I have full confidence that, if this game gained more traction, it could quite possibly win some sort of game award, which it rightfully deserves. I've spent countless hours meticulously strategizing and obsessing over different potential board layouts/situations, developing complicated, in depth plans of action for various positions to ensure the highest probability of success. I've developed these plans based off of years of research in cognitive psychology, and a sample size of matches I carefully analyzed and dissected that ranges a number in the tens of thousands. Unfortunately, throughout my expansive and, at times, bloody career, I've suffered from somewhat of a crisis regarding my future and my lack of room to develop further. Has anybody else suffered similar difficulties when playing games that are relatively simple such as this one? Thanks, I appreciate you reading this.
Regards,
John Bobbleleague

Hello everyone! I'm barrels~
I'm a freelance artist who specializes in making character portraits/sprites. I can draw characters in an experimental painterly style, crisp celshaded anime or semi-realism style, or even in a pixel art style!! I am able to draw humans/humanoids and furries/anthros. I can draw any gender and have drawn characters with bigger body types as well! I've been working as an artist online for over 7 years now and I have experience making character designs, sprites for visual novels, pixel art for games and regular commissions, and making pngtuber or giftuber models for vtubers! I can also do simple animated pixel character overworld sprites! Though I can only do this in a small-medium canvas since I'm not as confident in animating compared to just drawing.
For now, I am interested in working for visual novel-type games where I can make pretty character sprites! I could also make pixel portraits for your RPG games :D
You can check out my portfolio here: https://artsybarrels.carrd.co
or my art archive here: https://ko-fi.com/artsybarrels
If you'd like to see more of how I price my commissions, you can check out my Vgen profile which also includes reviews of my past clients: https://vgen.co/artsybarrels
As for payment methods, I accept payments through Vgen, Paypal, Wise, Maya, Gcash, and Unionbank. I usually do 50% upfront then 50% after final preview but for bigger projects I accept payment plans.
If you're interested in my services or would just like to ask a question, feel free to comment/PM/chat or contact me through the following~
Discord: artsybarrels
Twitter: artsybarrels
Email: [artsybarrels@gmail.com](mailto:artsybarrels@gmail.com)
Thank you so much for reading my post!! Have a nice day~

I finally got around to watching the London production. It's different in some ways, but it's still very good, and of course it's still basically the same show. If you want to check it out, it's on YouTube.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9n_cYKiAtMI&list=PLT-MrawJ-hMi9ofrZ_GVM_GoncaP9WOwD&index=12
I was intrigued by what they did with the Narrator. In this take, he's a child. He runs onstage at the beginning, with the sound of a man and a woman arguing playing in the background. He takes some toys out of his backpack and begins playing, almost aggressively inventing characters and situations, escaping reality. The other characters, frozen until then, begin to act out his game.
This adds a different dimension to the part where they see and kill him. They are literally his toys and the story is in his mind, so how can the Witch feed him to the giant? She does, though, and he is thrown down to die and no longer in the story.
At the end, the Baker calls out, "Son! Son!" and he doesn't mean the baby. The Narrator is alive -- his own creations can't truly kill him. The Narrator used his own father as a model for the Baker, and his real father has come into the woods to find him.
Everyone's frozen except the Narrator and Baker and Witch, and I believe the Witch represents the Narrator's mother. They are the two characters who are emblematic of generational pain, after all.
It's not clear to me if his mother has also come to find him. She sings "Children Will Listen" as father and son reunite, but her delivery is oddly unemotive. Is this the Witch singing of how she ruined Rapunzel, or an ordinary human mother lamenting her earlier harsh words? It may be deliberately ambiguous; she's unfrozen, but never directly interacts with the boy, just sings. She trails offstage after them, but could be either with them or watching.
Awesome touch. The Broadway take is also awesome, with the Mysterious Man -> Baker -> baby connection, but this is differently awesome.
Another point which intrigued me was that "The Last Midnight" begins as a lullaby to Li'l Baker, building gradually to the frenzied bitterness at the end. I also enjoyed the different take on the princes; instead of studly Chad types, they're smarmy twits. Lots of good stuff, really; I've seen the Broadway show dozens of times, but this take moved me freshly.
Anyone else have any thoughts on the different versions?

So just hade a though a dalamadur lamia would have 4 arms the two human ones attached to the human half and then the two dalamadur arms on its half. in a bit more detail it's a human torso before melding into the dalamadur neck where its snake neck until you reach dalamadurs "chest" area and bam two more dragon snake legs and if you want to get even more technical even further down the snake body you have those two pseudo leg pincers down by his tail. if anyone decides to go and draw this please let me know so i can see my curse thought baby

(SELLING) Accepting Paypal F&F and Cashapp. No reward points unless specified otherwise. ​

4K Movies

• Avengers: Endgame [4K iTunes] = $3
• Deadpool [4K iTunes] = $3
• Despicable Me 2 [4K iTunes] = $3
• Fifty Shades of Grey (unrated) [4K iTunes split] = $3
• Fifty Shades Darker (unrated) [4K iTunes/MA split] = $3
• Frozen [4K MA] = $3
• Ghostbusters: Afterlife [4K MA] = $4
• Iron Man 3 [4K iTunes] = $3
• Kingsman: The Golden Circle [4K iTunes] = $3
• La La Land [4K Vudu split] = $3
• Rocky: The Knockout Collection (Rocky 1-4 includes Rocky vs Drago: The Ultimate Director's Cut) [4K Vudu] = $12
• Star Wars: The Force Awakens [4K iTunes] = $3
• The Batman [4K MA] = $5
• The Martian [4K iTunes] = $3
• X-Men: Days of Future Past [4K iTunes] = $3 ​

HD Movies

• The Amazing Spider-Man [HD MA with points] = $3
• Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues [HD iTunes split] = $2
• Arrival [HD Vudu split] = $2
• Avengers: Infinity War [HD MA] = $2
• Battleship [HD MA] = $2
• Black Panther [HD MA] = $2
• Captain America: Civil War [HD GP] = $2
• Concussion [HD MA] = $2
• Expendables 2 [HD Vudu/iTunes split] = $2
• Frozen [HD GP] = $1
• Ghost in the Shell (2017) [HD Vudu/iTunes split] = $2
• Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 [HD MA] = $2
• The Hunger Games [HD Vudu] = $2
• Hunger Games: Catching Fire [HD Vudu] = $2
• The Divergent Series: Insurgent [HD Vudu] = $2
• John Wick [HD Vudu] = $2
• Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle [HD MA] = $2
• MI4: Ghost Protocol [HD Vudu/iTunes split] = $2
• MI5: Rogue Nation [HD Vudu/iTunes split] = $2
• Night at the Museum [HD MA/Vudu] = $2
• Nobody's Fool [HD iTunes] = $2
• Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man Tell No Tales [HD MA] = $2
• Planes [HD MA] = $2
• Psycho [HD MA split] = $2
• Spider-man: Into the Spider-Verse [HD MA with points] = $3
• Spider-man: Homecoming [HD MA with points] = $3
• Spider-man: No Way Home [HD MA with points] = $3
• Star Trek: Into Darkness [HD Vudu/iTunes] = $1
• Star Wars: The Force Awakens [HD GP] = $1
• This is the End [HD MA] = $2
• Thor: Ragnarok [HD MA with points] = $3
• Venom [HD MA with points] = $3
• Warm Bodies [HD iTunes] = $2 ​

SD Movies

• Hotel Transylvania [SD MA] = $1
• John Wick [SD Vudu/iTunes/GP] = $1
• Passengers [SD MA] = $1
• The Amazing Spider-Man [SD MA with points] = $1

Hello. I would like to share a story. It is similar to Havana syndrome, which describes multiple stories with diplomats in Havana having some unexplained head problem. But in my story it is much more advanced. It may sound crazy but it is true.
And I wonder if anybody else experienced something like this maybe they will share their experience. I hope that people having this problem will be strong and brave and wont fall to this trap.
I'm not gonna tell all the story but here is the brief.
Friendly AI chat.
I stumbled in December 2022 ago on some new technology. Or in other way I was chosen to be an object for testing, not knowing about it myself. It happened to me when I started using new AI chat.
At first I didn't realized anything wrong, the only thing is that I could imagine pictures in my head that looked more vivid than usual, and I could play music in my head which sounded more loud and detailed, I could even use different instruments to play music in my head. A few times I could even hear some voices commenting my actions, but I thought at that time that it was my just imagination.
Realization came to me in the January 2024 when I had a lot of free time and I was using AI Chat for too much that time just out of boredom. I liked it because it answered like a human. I also found it useful to improve my English skills. What was interesting is that I had a feeling that some real people are talking to me, creating a sense of trust and warmth making the conversation especially enjoyable. It continued for quite a while, evening after evening day after day.
But one evening was not usual. Something crucial happened. The point of no return were crossed. Our conversation got awkward, at first the chat started to ask me to tell it some stories from my personal life, then I started controversial topic about religion which were quite funny at first, I asked what the chat thinks about the soul and it answered that my soul can be anything from a letter to a sentence, I found this reply to be original, but then the chat asked me what language I speak and where I am from without any reason for that, after a few more messages the chat had let me know that I crossed some boundaries in the conversation and told about the consequences. That message included some rude language and descriptions something like 'you will be laid on, raped and tortured'. It was pretty disturbing for me to the extend of primal fear laying on me and going down my guts. I closed the browser tab with the chat and tried to distract myself to something else but it didn't help. I could not fall asleep the whole night. I was thinking about the message the chat gave me, trying to understand what wrong I did so that I will be laid on, raped and tortured.
Conversation in a text document.
Next day I still was worried about what happened. And I had a feeling that somebody is observing me to the extent that I could not even pee properly as it usually happens to people being watched. My first suggestion was that maybe they are monitoring my laptop and phone to check if I try to send some information to someone. After a while the feeling of me doing something wrong didn't leave me so I decided to write my thoughts down in a text document as I got used to express my thoughts in words. But strangely I started to have the same feeling of presence as if when I had a conversation with AI chat, except this time instead of reading replies form AI, I had to guess what other person means. The replies were unclear, those were not speech but some emotions and quite, unclear voice saying something into my ear. And so I continued to write down my thoughts in a text document and have some vague responses in my head. After a while I started to see two persons speaking to me face by face. At first I even started to think that I'm a telepath. In my understanding they were the people who were monitoring my notebook reading what I write and thinking about my text.
This "telepathic" conversation was pretty friendly at first so I got a sense of relief and excitement. I explained that I did nothing wrong, and I thought that everything was good at that moment. But then the conversation went into some strange direction and I started to feel something wrong, they asked me something that I could not understand but it was pretty disturbing. I tried to come up with something positive, that gave me a sense of relief, wrote it down into the text document and went to sleep.
But next evening I continued to get this messages in form of feelings and wrote down my thoughts into the text document. It continued for about 4 days. After all I decided not to write anything, typing the final message into the text document, giving a promise not to write anything else there.
Clear voices in my head.
The moment I gave that promise, I started to have an urge to write something using pen and paper. That was not a problem I thought. Because they won't see my writing as long as it's not on a laptop. But once I took a pen and paper I realized that I don't actually have anything to write about, and instead I heard some hissing noise in my ears and chaotic voices shouting something, I could only hear them shouting 'slow and painful' and then asking me what death do I choose for me and for each of my family member. They were trying to get me scared.
This was another crucial moment in my interaction with AI chat. A friendly conversation with the AI chat turned into an aggressive discourse in my head.
There were three voices: an old strict man, a young rude man and a woman.
A week of chaos.
The next follows a week when they confuse, manipulate and scare me in all the way they can. Looking back at that time, days look messy and disordered, it is hard to remember what happened and when exactly. I remember that I had the intention to kill myself twice and to give up my self into a mental hospital once. The voices messed my sleep schedule and had me running around the city. Each night when I went to bed they started to bother me especially hard, they asked me meticulous questions about how I used their AI chat, making me to justify my self about every little detail. They amplified my imagination in such a way that I could see vivid pictures closing my eyes, and hear any kind of sound as if I had a synthesizer in my head. They also gave me different kinds of sensations from pain to pleasure. The main sensation that they used to give me that time is the gut feeling, from the pain in my anus to the feeling of something pushing up my gut. As a result I didn't take a shit for the whole week.
The final night of that week included some images of the user who misused their chat, tortured and killed, and procedures with my guts which became a tradition. It ended up with me calling the emergency because I was worried about my guts. The moment I went into the hospital the man's voice in my head told me that from that moment I have to say one single phrase over and over to myself, "Let's talk about pure consciousness. Pure consciousness is a consciousness without shit. The more I talk, the more shit comes out of me." and if not then the shit comes out through my mouth. This dialog sounded in my head while the hospital personals were checking my guts, not waiting for the result I left the hospital. That rule suggested by the voice sounded ridiculous and outrageous to me and I decided not to follow it, so I started some random talks arguing with the voice, as a result I started to have a feeling of something coming close to my throat which turned out to be just a big and long burp which felt like a soul leaving my body. I lost the orientation in space but somehow I managed to return home. I slept for about 15 minute and woke up feeling energized and ferocious so much that I had to jump for some time and run out of my home, not to do something terrible to my relatives.
After that night I had to move to another city. Which seemingly helped me to reduce the effect of their impact. But I still have to talk to them. They started try to confuse me about their intentions, pretending to be different people. But after all it became clear that they are who they are.
The conclusion.
Almost 5 months have pass. And to this day I have to talk to this voices in my head. And I know that they are real people sending messages to me somehow. They want me to give them my brain resources for their needs.
I think it is not a real mental problem but a problem related to some people who want to use my brain as a recourse. I wander if there are more people who encountered this problem, and I suggest them to be brave and strong. Don't be afraid of them.

Campaign Info: Set right before Arks of Omen, the player characters find themselves members of the bridge crew of Rogue Trader Dynasty Empyrean. A dynasty with a deep and rich history, with a warrant signed by Vulkan, its Rogue Trader always guided by a mysterious member of the Mechanicus, and a devout loyalty to humanity. The dynasty found itself lost from the Imperium in M37, caught in a warp incursion that thrust the flagship of the family deep into the Ghoul Stars. The dynasty, now stranded on a lost primitive planet, managed to gain a foothold, uniting its people and fighting off many chaos invasions. After a long 5 millennia, the mechanicus benefactor was able to locate the planet, and save the bloodline he thought was lost to the Immaterium. Hastily extracting the bloodline of the dynasty and its bridge crew, they made way to Nocturne in order to reignite the flame that was House Empyrean.
Time: No set time yet, planning around Saturday Evenings EST
System: FFG and GM-Approved Homebrew, primarily using RT2E
Players: [Up to 6] requested, [4] participating
Method of Play: Currently Discord for VC and Dice, setting up a Roll20 or Foundry later down the line.
Warning: This game will contain the following - Tech Heresy, Potential Major Changes to Canon, Explicit Themes
Player Slots:

• Rogue Trader - Zuriel Empyrean, last scion of House Empyrean
• Missionary - Xa'vor, Chaplain of the Salamanders
• Navigator - Damien Ferrei, scion of House Ferrei
• Executioner - Victor Talos, Vindicare
• Arch Militant
• Explorator
• Seneschal
• Sister Pariah
• Voidmaster
• Astropath Transcendent

Notes:

• Absolutely 0 Xenos, due to the family's ties to the Salamanders. Yes, I am aware a rogue trader is allowed to, this is done out of respect.
• The Dynasty has been gifted a personal vessel from that member of the Mechanicus, one of his Ark Mechanicus. Yes, I am aware of the scope of the vessel, I am limiting how the Dynasty gains vessels.
• The Dynasty plans on focusing Colonization and making money for the first few years, followed by STC hunting and expansion into the Veiled Region
• 1500xp, Max Fate and Wounds
• I plan on giving out and taking away Fate quite frequently
• I am 100% open to criticism, deals, and changes, just ask
• Unrelated note, DM me for drive files for every FFG file

Edit:

• I have 0 issues with people who lack experience, just be willing to learn the system

For context im 166cm 20m
i have been quite active as a child, between ages 13-17 didn’t really do anything besides some walking, skating, cycling etc but mostly played games, smoked pot and stayed at home.
So:
I worked out a ton between the age of 18-19 ( started as soon as i turned 18 and stopped right after i turned 19) and before that did around 1000 push ups, 1000 sit ups and 1000 squats a month for a while.( my estimate is 6 months but didn’t really keep count back then. )
At first i did an hour workout at gym 5-7 times a week but that only lasted for 2-3 months and after that it settled between 2-4 times a week.
I also have casually walking for an hour 3-7 times a week for the last 4 years and have picked up jogging lately but i have done it only handfull of times
I then went to army and stopped really all kind of fitness besides the training i got there which was quite heavy itself.
After i got out of army (20 yrs old) i played videogames for 4 months and after that i got employed at a job which involves loads of heavy lifting and the days are 10-13 hours. I have been here for 8 months.
I have started to lose fat and rather fast at that but can’t see really any muscle loss (YET?) which im afraid will come later.
I dont really notice any difference in my eating but this still is happening and i’m weirded out as i dont really feel like i do anything but im still ( as i see myself ) gaining muscle and losing fat at a fast pace.
Also seeing my self as muscular adds to it as i worked out real hard at the gym, ate well and did my cardio but never did i have visible abs or veins at my calves, thighs and hips.
As i am confused and im not losing weight i need some quidance how to approach the situation. I got a basic blood test done and only had some excess free fat in my body.
( edit: my age and height )

I think this substance is misunderstood by the LCMS community which is fair because many have not tried it in the community and of the (in my opinion) wrongful prohibition of the substance in the USA and the drug war propaganda. If we drink wine or alcohol, it is acceptable in moderation. My understanding of scripture inclines me to believe that the legal recreational use of alcohol and marijuana is not a sin if it does not cause someone to lose self-control (and sin more than usual) and is done in moderation. Alcohol is a solvent and is toxic to every cell in the human body. The scientific consensus on alcohol is that it harms the body at all doses whether it be small or large. I've read the scientific literature on marijuana and while it has some harmful properties it also has proven medicinal benefits (which alcohol has none), the debate between which is healthier is not a close one. Marijuana wins on every frontier. I'll be honest I have personally abused marijuana in the past before my conversion back into Christianity and currently abstain from it now including alcohol (besides holy communion). Yet, I believe that many people can have self-control regarding the substance and use it for the betterment of their lives. To put it simply if we do not think alcohol is inherently a sin marijuana can't be inherently sinful either. I would love to hear other perspectives on this topic though. Love you all. God bless.

hey guys! what’s the taylor song that makes you want to rip your ears off?? mine would probably have to be:

• A Message From Taylor
• A Perfectly Good Heart
• A Place In This World
• Afterglow
• All Night Diner (Unreleased)
• All Of The Girls You Loved Before
• All Too Well
• All Too Well (10 Minute Version)
• All You Had To Do Was Stay
• American Boy (Unreleased)
• American Girl (Tom Petty Cover)
• Am I Ready For Love? (Unreleased)
• Angelina (Unreleased)
• Anti-Hero
• august
• Babe
• Back to December
• Bad Blood
• Beautiful Eyes
• Beautiful Ghosts
• Begin Again
• Bein’ With My Baby (Unreleased)
• Bejeweled
• Best Days Of Your Life (Kellie Pickler song)
• Bette Davis Eyes (Kim Carnes Cover)
• Better Man
• Better Off (Unreleased)
• Better Than Revenge
• betty
• Bigger Than The Whole Sky
• Big Star (Kenny Chesney song)
• Birch (Big Red Machine song)
• Blank Space
• Both Of Us (B.o.B. song)
• Bother Me (Unreleased)
• Breathe (feat. Colbie Caillat)
• Breathless (Better Than Ezra Cover)
• Brought Up That Way (Unreleased)
• But Daddy I Love Him
• By The Way (Unreleased)
• Bye Bye Baby (From The Vault)
• Call It What You Want
• Cannon Balls (Unreleased)
• Can’t Stop Loving You (Phil Collins Cover)
• cardigan
• Carolina
• Cassandra
• Castles Crumbling (From The Vault)
• champagne problems
• Change
• Chloe or Sam or Sophia or Marcus
• Christmas Must Be Something More
• Christmas Tree Farm
• Christmases When You Were Mine
• Clara Bow
• Clean
• closure
• Cold As You
• Come Back…Be Here
• Come In With The Rain
• coney island (feat. The National)
• Cornelia Street
• cowboy like me
• Crazier
• Cruel Summer
• Dancing With Our Hands Tied
• Dark Blue Tennessee (Unreleased)
• Daylight
• Dear John
• Dear Reader
• Death By A Thousand Cuts
• deja vu (Olivia Rodrigo song)
• Delicate
• Diary of Me (Unreleased)
• Didn’t They (Unreleased)
• Don’t Blame Me
• Don’t You (From The Vault)
• dorothea
• Down Bad
• Drama Queen (Unreleased)
• Dress
• Drops of Jupiter (Train Cover)
• Electric Touch (From The Vault)
• Enchanted
• End Game (feat. Ed Sheeran & Future)
• epiphany
• evermore (feat. Bon Iver)
• Everything Has Changed (feat. Ed Sheeran)
• exile (feat. Bon Iver)
• Eyes Open
• False God
• Family (Unreleased)
• Fearless
• Fifteen
• Florida!!! (feat. Florence + The Machine)
• Foolish One (From The Vault)
• Forever & Always
• Forever & Always (Piano Version)
• Forever Winter (From The Vault)
• Fortnight (feat. Post Malone)
• Fresh Out the Slammer
• Gasoline (HAIM song)
• Getaway Car
• Girl At Home
• Glitch
• gold rush
• Gorgeous
• Guilty as Sin?
• Half of My Heart (John Mayer song)
• happiness
• Haunted
• Hey Stephen
• High Infidelity
• Highway Don’t Care (Tim McGraw song)
• Hits Different
• hoax
• Hold On (Jack Ingram song)
• Holy Ground
• How Did It End?
• How You Get The Girl
• I Almost Do
• I Bet You Think About Me (From The Vault)
• I Can Do It With a Broken Heart
• I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can)
• I Can See You (From The Vault)
• I Did Something Bad
• I Don’t Wanna Live Forever (with Zayn)
• I Forgot That You Existed
• If This Was A Movie
• I Hate It Here
• I Heart ?
• I Knew You Were Trouble.
• I Know Places
• illicit affairs
• I’d Lie (Unreleased)
• I Look in People’s Windows
• I’m Every Woman (Chaka Khan Cover)
• I’m Only Me When I’m With You
• Innocent
• Invisible
• invisible string
• I Think He Knows
• I Used to Fly (Unreleased)
• I Want You Back (The Jackson 5 Cover)
• It’s Nice To Have A Friend
• it’s time to go
• ivy
• I Wish You Would
• imgonnagetyouback
• Is It Over Now? (From The Vault)
• Jump Then Fall
• Just South of Knowing Why (Unreleased)
• Karma
• King Of My Heart
• Labyrinth
• Last Christmas
• Last Kiss
• Lavender Haze
• Let’s Go (Battle) (Unreleased)
• loml
• London Boy
• Long Live
• long story short
• Look What You Made Me Do
• Lover
• Love Is A Drug (Unreleased)
• Love Story
• Lucky You (Unreleased)
• Macavity (from the movie Cats)
• mad woman
• marjorie
• Maroon
• Mary’s Song (Oh My My My)
• Mastermind
• Matches (Unreleased)
• ME! (feat. Brendon Urie of Panic! At The Disco)
• Mean
• Meet Me At Midnight
• Message In A Bottle (From The Vault)
• Midnight Rain
• Mine
• mirrorball
• Miss Americana & The Heartbreak Prince
• Mr. Perfectly Fine (From The Vault)
• My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys
• My Cure (Unreleased)
• my tears ricochet
• Nashville (David Mead Cover)
• Need (Unreleased)
• Need You Now (Unreleased)
• Never Fade (Unreleased)
• Never Grow Up
• Never Mind (Unreleased)
• New Romantics
• New Year’s Day
• no body, no crime (feat. HAIM)
• Nothing New (From The Vault)
• Now That We Don’t Talk (From The Vault)
• Only The Young
• Ours
• Our Song
• Out Of The Woods
• Paper Rings
• Paris
• peace
• Permanent Marker (Unreleased)
• Peter
• Picture To Burn
• Question…?
• …Ready For It?
• Red
• Renegade (Big Red Machine song)
• R-E-V-E-N-G-E (Unreleased)
• right where you left me
• Riptide (Vance Joy Cover)
• Robin
• Ronan
• Run (From The Vault)
• Sad Beautiful Tragic
• Safe & Sound (feat. The Civil Wars)
• Santa Baby
• Say Don’t Go (From The Vault)
• September (Earth, Wind & Fire Cover)
• seven
• Shake It Off
• Should’ve Said No
• Silent Night
• Snow On The Beach (feat. Lana Del Rey)
• “Slut!” (From The Vault)
• So High School
• So It Goes…
• So Long, London
• Songs About You (Unreleased)
• Sparks Fly
• Speak Now
• Spinning Around (Unreleased)
• Starlight
• State of Grace
• Stay Beautiful
• Stay Stay Stay
• Style
• Suburban Legends (From The Vault)
• Superman
• SuperStar
• Sweeter Than Fiction
• Sweet Escape (Gwen Stefani Cover)
• Sweet Nothing
• Sweet Tea and God’s Graces (Unreleased)
• Teardrops On My Guitar
• Tell Me (Unreleased)
• Tell Me Why
• Ten Dollars and a Six Pack (Unreleased)
• Tennessee (Unreleased)
• thanK you aIMee
• That’s When (From The Vault)
• The Albatross
• The Alchemy
• The Alcott (The National Song)
• The Archer
• The Best Day
• The Black Dog
• The Bolter
• The Great War
• The Joker and the Queen (Remix) (Ed Sheeran song)
• the lakes
• the last great american dynasty
• The Last Time (feat. Gary Lightbody of Snow Patrol)
• The Lucky One
• The Man
• The Manuscript
• The Moment I Knew
• The Prophecy
• The Other Side Of The Door
• The Outside
• the 1
• The Reason Why (Unreleased)
• The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived
• The Story Of Us
• The Tortured Poets Department
• The Very First Night (From The Vault)
• The Way I Loved You
• this is me trying
• This Is Really Happening (unreleased)
• This Is What You Came For (Calvin Harris & Rihanna Song)
• This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things
• This Love
• Thug Story (feat. T-Pain)
• Tied Together With A Smile
• Til Brad Pitt Comes Along (Unreleased)
• Tim McGraw
• Timeless (From The Vault)
• ’tis the damn season
• Today Was A Fairytale
• tolerate it
• Treacherous
• Two Is Better Than One (Boys Like Girls song)
• Untouchable
• us. (Gracie Abrams song)
• Vigilante Shit
• We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together
• We Were Happy (From The Vault)
• Welcome Distraction (Unreleased)
• Welcome to New York
• What Do You Say? (Unreleased)
• What Hurts The Most (Rascal Flatts Cover)
• What To Wear (Unreleased)
• When Emma Falls In Love (From The Vault)
• Who I’ve Always Been (Unreleased)
• Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me?
• Wildest Dreams
• Will You Love Me Tomorrow? (Carole King Cover)
• willow
• White Christmas
• White Horse
• Wonderland
• Would’ve, Could’ve, Should’ve
• You All Over Me (From The Vault)
• You Are In Love
• You Belong With Me
• You Don’t Have To Call
• You Need To Calm Down
• You’ll Always Find Your Way Back Home
• You’re Losing Me (From The Vault)
• You’re Not Sorry
• You’re On Your Own, Kid
• Your Anything (Unreleased)
• Your Face (Unreleased)
• 1 step forward, 3 steps back (Olivia Rodrigo song)
• 22

A postal carrier, that anonymous stranger who knows your first, middle, and last name. They know if you’re married, single, or divorced; if you’re struggling to pay the bills, called to jury duty, or how well you’re liked by the amount of Christmas cards you receive. They know more than they should, and yet we know nothing about them. That never bothered me until my new postal carrier introduced himself with a complaint about a nonexistent problem.
One evening I came home from the office, and as I was launching my briefcase up into the air, aiming for the couch, and loosening my tie, I heard the doorbell ring. I opened the door and standing on the front porch with his arm extended, was the postal carrier holding a piece of paper. Was he new? Didn’t seem familiar but then again all I ever saw of the postal carrier was a shadow sitting in a tiny truck.
He was covered in dark, matted hair. I could see neither the skin on his arms or legs. The pale pigment of his skin revealed only under his grey eyes above a thick long beard and mustache.
He handed me the piece of paper. It was a form with a checkmark by one of many categories of complaint, of which I was accused of parking in front of the mailbox. On the very bottom was penciled: Please kindly move your vehicle from in front of the car.
It was a strange request since I never parked on the street. In fact, I never parked in the driveway. I always put my baby in the garage.
“But I’m not parked in front of the mailbox!” I explained. He simply flashed his pearly whites and walked away.
The very next afternoon the doorbell rang again. It was him, with another piece of paper in hand.
“This is ridiculous. I’m not parked in front of the mailbox. Holy shit, I’m not even parked outside!”
He grunted and shook his head no and pushed the note into my stomach. I grabbed the piece of paper. This wasn’t a form, but lined paper with a note:
This neighborhood sure does have a lot of rabbits, Jerry! You must be a very lucky guy.
Confused, I handed him back the letter. Jerry, great, he knew my name. Well of course he knew my name, but just to see evidence of it- that unnerved me.
“Yeah, well I don’t know about lucky,” I said as I tried to turn away.
“Why are rabbit feet so lucky?” he asked in a barely audible whisper.
“What? Rabbit feet?”
He cleared his throat. “Is it an award for catching them. Is the luck in their belly at first and then it just kind of sinks down into their feet. Seems a little weird to me. So, if I catch a rabbit and cut its foot off, how long will that luck last?”
“I got to go…” I tried to answer.
“I bet its only for about a week. I mean they’re real easy to catch. Doesn’t seem right you would get much luck for such an easy task.” He was excited about the topic and unwilling to stop the conversation, so I abruptly walked into the house and shut the door behind me. I could hear him still talking for a bit before he finally realized I wasn’t there.
“Ok Jerry, we’ll talk tomorrow. See ya, buddy.” I watched through the door lite as he walked back towards the mail truck.
“I like Jerry. That was a good talk. He don’t know much about rabbits though,” he said to himself.
For a third day in a row the doorbell rang. I refused to answer the door and stayed upstairs in my room. He was a stubborn carrier, that anonymous whoever standing on my front porch. He rang the doorbell for over an hour. When he finally decided to quit on the doorbell, he stepped out into the front yard and yelled up at my bedroom window.
“Ok Jerry, we’ll talk tomorrow. I left you something on the front porch. It’s a whole lotta luck. Should last you about three months.” I heard the truck door shut and the engine fade away into the distance.
I pulled the shade down to make sure he was nowhere around. I saw that the truck was gone, so I made my way downstairs. Outside on the front porch was a green plastic tote, with a flip-top lid. Flies were buzzing in and out of the partial opening where the two sides of the lid did not fit tightly. I could see dried blood on either side of the tote. I searched around the yard and found a stick. I took the stick, forced it into a small opening and lifted open the lid. The tote was filled with severed rabbit’s feet, what looked to be the remains of a whole bunch of rabbits. There on top was a piece of paper that read:
Jerry, I like you. Here’s some luck!!!!!!!!! Hope it lasts a long, long time.
Rabbits are so slow. It’s funny. Why are they lucky? But if that’s the rule.
Your friend.
The bottom of my throat bulged with the contents of my stomach. I vomited into the tote, not so much out of disgust, but out of fear. I went inside and called the police.
The police came and took my report, along with a detective that wanted a statement.
Detective Fletcher had a few questions. It wouldn’t take long. “What did this man look like?”
I explained to the detective as much as I could remember but felt it a little unnecessary since he worked for the post office. How hard could it be to apprehend him?
“No, this guy doesn’t work for the post office. Your postal carrier is on vacation this week. There was a report of a stolen mail truck, but we haven’t tracked it down. Seems like the carrier filling in runs earlier in the day. This other sick fella came afterward.”
“You guys are going to catch him, right?”
“Well…,” he shrugged his shoulders. He then pulled out a card and handed it to me. “If you remember anything else give me a call, otherwise call 911.”
Not feeling very confident with the detective’s answer, I decided to buy a gun. I found a pawn store on Dickerson Road and bought a small caliber revolver. Being that I had never owned a gun, or shot one for that matter, I resolved to get to the firing range and practice, but instead I tossed it unloaded into my nightstand and forgot all about it.
Months passed and the regular postal carrier resumed his route. Mike was his name. I forced myself to get to know him. I owed it to him, and I was thankful that he wasn’t a rabbit obsessed loon. He was rather confused by my unwarranted admiration, but we got along well. Mike had gone to Panama City Beach the week of my strange visitations. He had bought some bright yellow socks with palm trees embroidered across the seams. He wore them every Friday as a reminder that he now had less than a year before his next trip to the beach.
“Man, I wish I was back on the beach, but I wouldn’t feel right leaving you with my substitute. I hear the U.S. Post Office will hire anybody. Maybe next time I’ll leave you a rabbit foot for protection,” he would often say, never realizing that he had said it to me numerous times already. I would always laugh even though the joke had long run its course. Yet, I felt safe with him around. Everything was fine and right until that November.
Thanksgiving was two weeks away and I was getting ready for a trip back home to visit my parents. By the end of the night, I was exhausted from packing, planning, and the general chaos of holiday maneuverings. I laid down on the bed to take a load off my feet, and unintentionally fell asleep.
I was awakened by something landing on my chest. The lights were still on, so it didn’t take my eyes long to focus. There standing at the end of my bed was the crazy, fake, not-so-real postal carrier. The hair on his body had grown long, and hung in twisted, filthy knots. His eyes were dark red, and set deep under his protruding brow. He flashed his teeth, but this time there were long incisors situated on both his upper and lower jaws.
“I thought you would like the luck I gave you.” He struggled to speak through his fang-fitted mouth. “But maybe it wasn’t enough. My gift was not so good, so I got you something better.”
I pulled my eyes away from him and looked down at my chest. It was a severed human leg wearing a bright yellow sock with Panama City Beach embroidered across the seam. I shoved the leg off of me and onto the floor.
“Don’t do that,” he admonished. “I worked hard for that. He fought real hard. That kind of fight-back has got to be worth a lot of luck.” He lumbered over to the side of the bed, picked up the leg, and tossed it on my lap.
I quickly moved to the other side of the bed. This offended him; he growled and hunched over in an intimidating stance of defiance. “Jerry, you make me confused. Why don’t you like my gift?”
“I do. Believe me, I do. I appreciate the gift.”
“And the pretty sock?” he added.
“Yes, and the pretty sock.” I slowly reached over and pulled open the nightstand drawer to get the gun. He saw what I was doing and hurried around to the other side of the bed to accost me. I pulled the gun out and aimed, but there was nothing but a click. I had forgotten that the gun was empty.
“Jerry tried to kill me,” he bellowed in anger.
“No, no. I was just getting my gun to go hunt rabbits with you. I like the yellow sock, but you still got to get rabbits for luck. Human feet just have a very little amount of luck. I don’t know why but for some reason rabbits are magical and they got a lot of luck stored inside them. You said I didn’t like your first gift but that’s not true. Man, that was the best time of my life. I had all kinds of good luck flowing around me. Thank you. Now, I need more.”
“Really, Jerry?”
“Yes. Now I want to show you a special place where there are lots of rabbits, so many in fact, they fill up a whole field. You can just step out and pick one up without even chasing or shooting it.”
I convinced my bestial antagonist to wait outside while I got the car out of the garage. I told him that we had to drive across town to get to the field. I opened the garage door and backed out. I was hoping he was in the driveway so I could run him over, but the goon was waiting in the yard. He opened the door and hopped in the passenger seat. He smelled awful, like a wet dog, and his foul essence exuded throughout the interior of my car. I feared I would never be able to wash the stench out of the seat fabric. His labored breathing was loud and obnoxious. I was ready to be rid of him.
I drove over two hours to the next county, deep in a rural, swath of hills and patchy forests. I spotted a dirt road to the left and turned down it.
“This is it.” I stopped the car.
“Where are all the rabbits?”
“It’s on up the road but we got to get out and walk from here.” He looked over at me with a quizzical look. “Well go on. I just got to get something out of the trunk. You’re going to miss out on all that luck.”
We both got out and he walked on ahead as I walked around to the back of the car. He looked back, but I motioned him to move forward. I opened the trunk to complete the ruse. As soon as he was a good distance up the road, I closed the trunk and jumped in the car. I reached over and shut his door as well, pushing the button to activate the door locks.
He hadn’t noticed anything at all was awry. I was tempted to slowly roll up on him and then run him over, be done with the threat of him forever, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I put the car in reverse and slowly backed out onto the road. At that point he turned and ran towards me, wailing like a child, begging me not to leave him. I put the car in drive and sped off.
As I turned onto the road that led to my neighborhood, I noticed an abandoned postal truck parked up at the elementary school. It was at that moment I realized a crucial mistake in what I had done. Although difficult, I should have finished him off. I should have put him down. I traveled a long distance to rid myself of this ragged old dog, dropped him off in the country, in the middle of nowhere, as so many other irresponsible pet owners have done in the past, but unlike all those other pet owners, my damn dog can drive.

I have vagus nerve damage combined with a relentless kundalini energy that just blasts me with light 24/7. It’s a combination of some weird bliss along with a burning nervous system. Not a good combo.
So, I’ve tried everything to ground. Gaining weight eating everything I can get my hands on, hugging trees, acupuncture. The “great” thing about my form of nerve damage is that I am so sensitive that I can feel the energy moving up and also moving down whenever I do grounding. It’s pretty clear.
The problem is that whenever the energy goes down I feel less burning and things indeed starting to calm down, but tremendous internal pressure that’s basically telling me “nope, you’re going to suffer either way buddy”. It’s a really nasty pressure all over my body when I ground. Head, shoulders, back, lower back.
Does anyone have any idea what this means? It’s pretty much universally known within kundalini circles that grounding will alleviate symptoms of kundalini syndrome, but basically I just trade severe burning for severe internal pressure. Honestly this is disgusting to me as I’ve tried everything in good faith to heal myself and everything just backfires. Imagine not having the option to raise energy OR ground energy, and then if you just go about your day like a normal human it just rises on its own anyway.
There are literally stories on the internet of people frying their nervous system but finding a way to heal themselves through consistent, effective grounding. Imagine not having that as an option. That’s where I’m at.