Hi everyone - I’m writing because I’ve been experiencing micro aggressions lately in the workplace - veiled but nonetheless. For example, speaking in a large group meeting and management publicly questioning if I’ve covered a specific topic, being introduced alongside an equal level colleague and one of us has “lots of great skills” and no additional color for me.
I’ve received great feedback to date, but, as many people likely know in this thread, these instances can build up and impact mental health and other factors like advancement. I’m trying to do a few things I think are crucial:

1. Alllow myself to validate my feelings and know that I’m not just making it up.
   
2. Refuse to let this impact my confidence - I believe confidence is crucial to anything we take on
   
3. Advocate for me but also understand that I can’t keep advocating for myself without some additional support systems.
   

I’m curious if anyone knows of support groups for Black women in the workplace? In addition to the network I’ve built, I think it would be a nice addition to be able to come to a forum, discuss these topics and more on a consistent basis. Note: I like my role and my team so I’m not trying to look outside of that at this time.
Thank you

An open letter to Benedictine College and Harrison Butker
I first came across the Harrison Butker’s 2025 commencement speech at Benedictine College on Twitter. It was a short snippet of the speech and I was in disbelief of what I heard. Intrigued, I went to YouTube to find a recording of the whole speech before drawing further conclusions. Now, I am nearly beyond words.
I grew up in the Catholic Church, attended a Catholic high school, and do still consider myself to be Catholic, although not without my own qualms with the church. However, this is not about that. I am also a more recent college graduate. I graduated from a large public university 5 years ago and am looking forward to obtaining my graduate degree next year, both degrees I have worked incredibly hard for and am immensely proud of. I don’t remember my own commencement speech, but if it was anything like this, I am glad I don’t- I loved my undergraduate experience and will be proud to have my diploma framed and hanging one day. Harrison Butker’s speech is condescending, out of touch, and against the very values of your school. You both, Benedictine College and Harrison Butker, owe these graduating students an apology.
As a proudly Catholic college, I do not hold issue you or your choice in speaker with promoting Catholicism and the beliefs of the Catholic Church, even in regard to politics; while I may not agree, that is your choice to do so and one that underlies the foundation of your school.
The class of 2025, as with many recent graduates and current students, have had to work through a unique set of hardships as a whole, beyond the personal hardships we all face. Mr. Butker is not a recent graduate, nor is he working directly with a school or university. College is a change for everyone from high school, with the course load, schedule, and independence, but beyond the nervousness and uncertainty that comes with this new phase, students are able to rely on the fact that since its inception, the college experience has been relatively stable, until the COVID-19 pandemic. Students, and faculty, were forced to rapidly adapt to a situation that we knew very little about and had no history to guide us. To minimize that, say that “it is not unique,” especially as someone who was not experiencing it from an educational aspect, is disrespectful to students and faculty, regardless of beliefs on the issue. Pandemics are not new, nor are controversial policies, but what these students faced, was new. I know of no other time during our history, where thousands of students were nearly overnight told to immediately leave their housing and worry about their finances and shelter as not everyone has the means to find new housing or go back to their parents, have food outside of the dinings halls, or access to a computer and internet to complete their coursework where they had planned on attending in person or using university resources, when these things are apart of what students pay thousands of dollars for or take loans to afford as part of their college expenses. Whether or not you support these policies and changes, that does not lessen the unique hardships faced or make a student wrong for adhering to them when failure to do so could result in greater consequences. If there is another time where this has happened, I am happy to be referred so that I can learn. It is one thing to say that the feelings of uncertainty and anxiety around new policies and adapting to them are not unique, but another to say that the challenges these students faced as a result of policy is not unique, it is disrespectful, condescending, and completely out of place as someone who did not experience it.
Beyond this, it is even more disrespectful to diminish the accomplishments of particularly the female graduates of your university by allowing your speaker to advocate forgoing using their degree and instead, choose being a wife and mother. To Benedictine College, if this is what your school advocates, then why charge tuition to your female students? How will they pay for it or pay off their loans for it? Do you expect your female graduates to marry a man who will pay off their debts? What happens if they don’t or if they choose a vocation in religious life, are their debts forgiven? To take it a step further, why admit female students at all if their degree is not meant to be used? A yearly tuition of $35,000 seems a greedy ask to attain what becomes a useless degree. Maybe this is not something you support, but I have yet to see any statement indicating dissent with this position. The Benedictine sisterhood and St. Scholastica, its founder, take pride in education and she herself do not choose the vocation of marriage. How would St. Scholastica be able to attend your college when she found her vocation to be in the religious life? To Harrison Butker, how dare you? I am happy for you and your family that your wife can be a homemaker if that’s what she wants to do, but that is completely out of touch for what nearly all of these students will face as they graduate. Your family can comfortably live on just your salary of over $4 million per year, but you are a minority in this situation. You speak of not allowing cost of living to prohibiting where you live, but with your salary, I’m sure there are few areas you cannot find suitable housing and access to food. Is one supposed to choose to live in circumstances where they do not have a stable shelter in favor of a more traditional priest? Earlier in your speech you mention “accepting your lane and staying in it,” I believe you should have taken your own advice, because your lane is far wealthier than mine and likely all of the graduates you are speaking to. Most families will need two salaries to live in even a fraction of the comfort you live and even then, may not be comfortable. From what I understand, you went to GT on a scholarship, another minority, factor in student loans, and the comfort fraction becomes even smaller. Should a family live in a constant state of worry about money so that a woman can be a homemaker? You spoke of charity and the platform God has given you, but I do not see you using your wealth for charitable acts to support the lifestyle you advocate in these graduates. You decide to speak for women and presume they are most excited at the prospect of marriage and children when you are speaking to congratulate them on a major accomplishment that has little to do with their future as a wife or mother. Can a woman not find fulfillment and a calling as a valuable member of the workforce and a wife and mother. As a woman who anticipates graduating from medical school in one year, is being a doctor not part of God’s plan for me? As I understand it, my vocation, is not between being a wife and mother or being a doctor, but of the calling to serve as a married, single, or religious person. You make it seem as though I cannot be both a doctor and family woman one day. You make remarks about controlling how and when children are conceived. You condemn IVF and surrogacy when a large portion of woman and men in this country struggle with infertility or health conditions making a pregnancy incredibly dangerous. If a woman cannot naturally have a child then is she not to be a mother? Do you also condemn adoption as it a choice and controlled method of becoming a parent? Is it only if a woman is unable to conceive naturally that it is acceptable to work rather than be a homemaker? I have always been taught in my experience with the Catholic Church to welcome children into your life whenever they come about, not as a barrier to being a working mom. You have laid out the options as black or white, mother or worker, when I believe the advice is to be open to and welcome God’s plan for you in both areas of your life. Not only do you advocate for the females graduates to forgo the workforce when this is an unrealistic path for most, but in doing so, you add extra pressure to the male graduates to provide in an unrealistic way. At what cost do men take higher paying jobs they are unhappy in so that their wives can be homemakers? You have worked hard to get to where you are, say you are doing something you love, and are able to show the fruits of that labor, should these graduates not show all of the knowledge and skills they have gained through earning their degree?
To Harrison Butker, I, too, am Catholic. I believe we also are similar in that we question right from wrong and do not just blindly accept the things that are fed to us. You say that our priests and bishops are anointed by God, but quickly question that anointing. I now question you, in who you are to question who has been anointed by God. You point out it is your duty as a father to lead your son. In our faith, we call our priests Father, but you call us to question and right them, should they not lead us? Should we not follow the quote you use of trusting our priests to translate the teachings of the Bible for us? Does your son question you and what is your response? You call for priests and bishops to be righted but also to stay in our lane. I do not mean to support the actions of our church leaders either way, but as an individual am not following what you ask of these graduates.
To Harrison Butker, you say you speak from experience, but it seems your experiences are vastly different than most of the graduates you speak to. Your statements contradict one another, in questioning our church leaders, staying in our lane, and even speaking of your wife as someone who converted to Catholicism but later question being with someone of a different faith, not allowing for change. As I have stated before, it is one thing to speak of shared feelings, but another to speak of a shared experience. You give advice in black or white rather than ideas for consideration and reflection. Listening to your commencement speech, I can’t imagine I would have found excitement for the future and wisdom as I start to move forward on my own. Had this been my speech to give, I couldn’t speak to a lot of the challenges these students faced, but can empathize with the fears of stepping out of the student life and uncertainty about my future. I could speak to how being able to adapt to challenges, facing hardship in my own way has made me strong and able to persevere and that they too have grown to be stronger and able to persevere too, even if they are not confident. I could speak to how money is not always the most important thing in life, your church, your family, your community are all things to reflect on when making decisions about the future. But, this was not my speech, it was yours. My ideas may not be right, maybe it has more “fluff” than yours, but they do not tell me the right or wrong way to live my life, as that is between me and God.
To Benedictine College, much of this is address to Harrison Butker. However, this is the person you chose and supported in giving a commencement speech. What is address to him, is also a reflection of what you support and believe, and the message you hope to send your graduates off with. I am not one of your graduates, happy to say I am not with this speech, but at least for me, this is the representation I have of your school.
To Benedictine College and Harrison Butker, you both owe the graduates an apology for these disrespectful and confusing sentiments as they enter a new and stressful chapter of their lives.
To the Benedictine College class of 2025, congratulations!

Sustainable Fabrics in Designer Salwar Kameez: Eco-conscious Choices 2024

The world of fashion is embracing sustainability, and the exquisite realm of designer Salwar Kameez is no exception. Today's eco-conscious consumers are increasingly seeking luxury with a conscience. This blog delves into the world of sustainable fabrics used in designer Salwar Kameez for 2024, empowering you to make informed choices that are kind to the planet and effortlessly stylish.
Why Sustainable Fabrics?
The fashion industry has a significant environmental footprint. Sustainable fabrics offer a solution by:

• Reducing reliance on synthetic materials: These often require large amounts of energy and harsh chemicals to produce.
• Promoting eco-friendly practices: Sustainable fabrics often utilize organic farming methods and recycled materials.
• Minimizing waste: Many sustainable fabrics are derived from recycled resources or natural materials that decompose easily.

Top Sustainable Fabric Choices in Designer Salwar Kameez:
1. Organic Cotton:

• A classic for a reason! Organic cotton uses far less water and harmful pesticides than conventionally grown cotton.
• Look for designer Salwar Kameez featuring GOTS (Global Organic Textile Standard) certification for complete assurance.
• Organic cotton drapes beautifully and is perfect for creating comfortable yet elegant silhouettes.

2. Tencel™ Lyocell:

• Derived from wood pulp harvested from sustainably managed forests, Tencel™ offers a luxurious feel similar to silk.
• This eco-friendly fabric is known for its breathability, wrinkle resistance, and rich drape.
• Top designers are incorporating Tencel™ into stunning Salwar Kameez sets perfect for formal occasions.

3. Recycled Polyester:

• Don't be fooled by the word "recycled"! Repurposed plastic bottles are transformed into luxurious fabrics that are soft, durable, and versatile.
• This is a great choice for creating bold, statement pieces with a sustainable edge.
• Look for designers who use high-quality recycled polyester for a truly luxurious feel.

4. Linen:

• A naturally sustainable fabric, linen is known for its strength, breathability, and beautiful texture.
• Perfect for creating breezy summer Salwar Kameez sets with a sophisticated touch.
• Linen often softens with each wash, becoming even more comfortable over time.

5. Bamboo Fabric:

• This rapidly renewable resource offers a soft, breathable, and hypoallergenic option.
• Bamboo fabric is known for its moisture-wicking properties, making it ideal for warmer climates.
• Look for designers who use ethically sourced bamboo to ensure true sustainability.

Beyond Fabrics: Sustainable Practices
1. Fair Trade:

• Support designers who ensure fair wages and safe working conditions for artisans.
• Fair Trade practices contribute to a more sustainable fashion industry overall.

2. Timeless Design:

• Investing in a well-made, classic Salwar Kameez made with sustainable fabrics ensures you'll wear it for years to come.
• This reduces the need for fast fashion and its associated environmental impact.

Sustainable Salwar Kameez: A Statement of Style and Responsibility
Choosing designer Salwar Kameez made with sustainable fabrics allows you to express your unique style while embracing eco-conscious practices. Look for designers who are transparent about their materials and production processes. By making informed choices, you can be a part of the solution for a more sustainable future of fashion. Shop designer women's clothing in Kerala and discover exquisite craftsmanship, vibrant colors, and breathtaking designs. From elegant silk sarees to intricately embroidered kurtas, Kerala's designers offer something for every taste and style.pen_spark
Embrace the beauty of sustainable luxury! Explore the world of designer Salwar Kameez crafted with a conscience and celebrate fashion with a green heart.

Hello!
I hope we're all doing well!
We did relatively okay last time, with our secondary parlay landing clean! Everything else kinda fell apart, but I did a bit better than I feared i would have done.
Another rough fight night to predict here! Should be a fun event though.
Onwards to the predictions!
(c) - Champ
D/DWCS - Debut/Dana Whites' Contender Series
FLS - Fight Lose Streak
FWS - Fight Win Streak
NS - No Streak
(#x) - Rank in Division
x/3 - Confidence Levels
lets go!
Prelims
Women’s Strawweight
Emily Ducote (-275) (13-8-0, NS) v Vanessa Demopoulos (+220) (10-5-0, NS) - Oh look, a fight that’s probably going to go to the scorecards. Ducote is coming off a relatively strong win against Yoder, she was very capable of stuffing all of those takedown attempts coming her way and matching the tenacity of Yoder on the feet. Now, I am always a bit iffy when it comes to someone with a record like Ducotes’, but I do believe they (The UFC) didn’t quite build her up properly, giving her opponents like Godinez and Hill very early on in her UFC career. Ducote is a fairly well rounded fighter who does well on her feet, but most importantly, her grappling is relatively good, having been capable of defending the takedowns of Godinez, which isn’t a small feat since Godinez is well known for her wrestling capabilities. That ability to defend takedowns is massively important when dealing with someone like Demopoulos, whose main threat in most of her fights are her takedowns and grappling attacks. Ducote has fairly standard striking attacks for a well rounded MMA fighter, she is very quick on the feet and throws a lot of volume when she attacks, which could prove challenging to Demopoulos as she tries to enter range and initiate a takedown. Now, whilst Ducote has a lot of volume and speed to her strikes, she lacks in the “finishing” area, she doesn’t quite have the tenacity to finish her opponents, there’s no hurry. With that said though, she does have a bit of a familiar pattern of touching up her opponents until that right hand finds its mark, then she adds emphasis on that right-side punch. She has, however, one weird tendency to just stand there, staring, whilst in the pocket, with a rather square stance, and whilst that might help her with the offensive output, she is still standing there with minimal defences. That’s something that has contributed to her losses in the past and something that Demopoulos could possibly use as a way to find an entry for a takedown. Demopoulos is coming off a win against Murata, but it was a fairly unimpressive performance with Demopoulos getting taken down a lot, and although she looked fairly good on the feet with powerful single attacks, I don’t quite know how effective she is going to be against a volume-heavy fighter like Ducote. Demopoulos has a few tendencies as a fighter that are great, she is fairly active in the guard off her back, throwing up submissions very quickly, but the problem with that is nowadays if you can’t lock in a submission, then you are losing the fight, and I think if Demopoulos does pull guard, Ducote should have the ability to control her on the ground and avoid submissions. This is a very, very 50/50 fight in my opinion. Ducote has a slight advantage on the feet due to her speed and volume, but on the ground it’s looking like Demopoulos has the advantages there, as she does have great instinct on when to lock in a submission or shift the hips. The safest bet here is either o2.5 rounds or the fight going the distance, this isn’t a ML bet fight by any means in my opinion. As for my prediction, I am very split but i’m leaning towards Ducote to win this one, but it’s the slightest lean one can imagine.
Ducote via UD - (1/3)
Bantamweight
Alatengheili (+150) (16-9-2, NS) v Kleydson Rodrigues (-185) (8-3-0, NS) - This is a fascinating one. Alatengheili was scheduled to fight a month ago but it was cancelled due to an illness, so I fully expect him to fight again this week. The kinda good news about that is he doesn’t really need to have a big camp since he already had the conditioning and cardio from that other camp preparing for Victor Hugo. Alatengheili is a very aggressive and powerful fighter, everything he throws has so much speed and power behind it, and whilst there might not be a lot of volume behind those punches, he shouldn’t be underestimated on the feet because of his explosiveness. Alatengheili also uses that explosive power to wrestle, and he is fairly good on the ground, able to maintain a strong position at all times and just land heavy ground and pound. Alatengheili is powerful but he doesn’t display that power with reckless abandon, he tends to be a bit of a counter puncher, his hands are often low or loose, which lures his opponent in to strike, in which he then propels himself forward with a quick flurry of dangerous punches, then there’s a reset and he waits to lure his opponent in again. That’s his typical gameplan and it works a lot of the time, but I do think he might get exposed by one thing that Rodrigues could do, and that’s chop at the legs to remove or mitigate that explosiveness that Alatengheili relies on. Rodrigues on the other hand has not had as much experience nor octagon time that Alatengheili has had, but his style seems to be a bit of a challenge for Alatengheili, at least from what I can see. Rodrigues is very well rounded, he is very quick on the feet, but most of all, he doesn’t do anything too crazy to be lured into a potential counter-flurry by Alatengheili. Rodrigues loves to kick at range, he is so dynamic and can switch up the angles of the attacks so quickly that he could possibly just keep kicking Alatengheili until the fight is over, as long as he keeps a safe distance from a retaliatory attack. He is very quick at throwing out those kicks and I do think if he attacks the legs early enough he is going to be effective, as Gutierrez was when he fought Alatengheili. Alatengheili is going to have to mix it up in this fight to get ahead, he is going to have to rely heavily on his wrestling in order to get a win here, because we have seen that Rodrigues is mostly a kickboxestriker, and if Alatengheili can push a nasty pace and pressure (something he only does if he is successful with his counters or see’s his opponent is hurt), that completely removes Rodrigues’ ability to kick. However, the biggest danger with any sort of aggressive forward movement from Alatengheili is the ridiculous hand speed of Rodrigues, his boxing speed is ferocious and he doesn’t necessarily overthrow, everything is clean and tight, and given how open the defences are with Alatengheili, I do think a check left hook or an uppercut is going to be a highly effective tool that Rodrigues is going to utilise, especially if Alatengheili is going to look for takedowns. The focus and timing of Rodrigues is something that I really like also, he is so calm but intense in the cage, he sees a lot of his opponents attacks coming, and since Alatengheili’s actions are huge and relatively easy to read (as there is quite a wind up for it) Rodrigues should be able to avoid it or counter effectively. One major thing I want to point out here that makes me lean on Rodrigues even moreso is the striking inaccuracy of Alatengheili, he is a powerful fighter, i cannot state this enough, but it is thanks to that power and his willingness to throw down heavy punches that he often misses. I’m gonna list some stats, so bear with me… These are his striking accuracy stats from a handful of his recent fights, starting from the most recent to ones earlier in his career. Gutierrez with 28% Accuracy, Anheliger with 37%, Lopez with 30% and Kenney with 26%. This is why I emphasized before how important Alatengheili’s wrestling is going to be in this fight, because if you’re going to go up against a very tricky and accurate striker like Rodrigues, you cannot play that accuracy game and risk winging punches against him. With that said though, don’t count of Alatengheili here, his power and explosiveness are always going to be a problem and it should generally be a good idea to sprinkle a little bit of money on him, even moreso that he’s an underdog. My prediction for this fight is a long, drawn out Rodrigues win, but it’s a tough one because we haven’t quite seen that much greatness from Rodrigues.
Rodrigues via UD - (1/3)
Women’s Strawweight
Piera Rodriguez (-175) (9-1-0, NS) v Ariane Carnelossi (+145) (14-3-0, NS) - Normally, a lot of fights interest me, even the ones that don’t interest the vast majority of others… but this one? I have no feelings one way or the other about this one, it seems like a filler fight lol. Rodriguez is a relatively well rounded fighter coming off a tough loss against Gillian Robertson, and I mean, that kind of loss tends to come with the territory of wrestling a well known submission specialist, so I don’t exactly fault Rodriguez for losing in that way. There is very little doubt that Rodriguez is going to have a major advantage in the wrestling department, a lot of her fights involve her taking down her opponent, it's what she does exceptionally well and considering how dreadful Carnelossi’s takedown defence is, it is going to be Piera’s imperative to take down Carnelossi. The problem with Rodriguez is that she's a little bit one dimensional, she doesn’t do too well on the feet and Carnelossi does have very strong strikes, I mean, look at her, she’s absolutely a power puncher. Rodriguez is highly diverse with her striking, both in terms of range and variability of attack, she has excellent fundamentals with the boxing, landing combinations in the pocket and moving away, and one main thing she does extremely well is that jab, its a really long, lunging jab, and the reason why I point that out is because it somewhat masks the takedown, she uses that jab over and over, and because that motion to jab is almost similar to a level change, she doesn’t necessarily feint the jab to get to the level change/takedown position, but her opponents just think another jab is coming. This is going to be a great set up against Carnelossi, attack her with long, prodding jabs, and after a few of those, go for a level change, because its that long lunge that looks like a level change. To put it bluntly, anything to get a level change and a takedown will be highly effective against Carnelossi. Carnelossi is an interesting one to talk about because she had a fun start to her career with an extremely entertaining fight against Liang Na, but if you look closely, she is just a fun fighter, not a great one. Her punching power is probably her biggest asset, because everywhere else she absolutely is not worth talking about, and it’s that punching power that will be evident when she inevitably clips Rodriguez. Carnelossi is one dimensional, but boy is she scrappy and I don’t think Rodriguez can afford to get crazy with her on the feet, because Rodriguez will be hurt by something in the pocket, the smartest thing Rodriguez can ideally do is level change and absolutely remove the power from Carnelossi, and considering that Carnelossi’s power is generated from a very still-standing stance, it wouldn’t take much to take her off her feet. I got Rodriguez winning this one, it should hopefully be a fun fight.
Rodriguez via UD - (1/3)
Middleweight
Abus Magomedov (-250) (25-6-1, 2 FLS) v Warlley Alves (+205) (14-7-0, 3 FLS) - It kind of seems like they are setting Magomedov up for success here. Magomedov may have had a tough last two bouts, but considering the fact that he faced Strickland and Borralho, that’s ridiculous levels of competition for a newcomer. Magomedov had one major issue exposed when he fought Strickland and that was his cardio, everything else he looked absolutely incredible at, he has a lot of power in his hands, he’s long and dynamic with his attacks and he has great wrestling, but it was his cardio that made him fall apart. During his Borralho fight, despite losing that bout, those cardio issues didn’t seem as present, he has seemingly learnt to pace himself and he honestly looks to be a decent up and comer now that he’s facing slightly more adjusted competition instead of straight up killers. Magomedov has a massive, massive reach advantage over Alves, and that’s going to be prevalent when Magomedov lands those beautiful strikes at range. He does use his kicks alot, and alongside said kicks are a lot of knee feints, it's a bit odd to look at, it could just be him getting ready to check leg kicks or to feint a kick, but it's just one of those things that I can’t quite figure out. Anyway, Magomedov’s cardio is going to be in question again today, and whilst I did say that he seems to be mostly fine, or at least a bit better than when he fought Strickland, he still tends to overthrow a lot, there is no pitter patter of punches that you somewhat see, they’re all still big actions and those big actions cost him his cardio early on. The best way to kind of describe Magomedov, at least cardio wise, is a slightly more talented and skillful McKinney. My main concern is how exposed his face is to getting hit, all it would take is for Alves to rush in like a bull and throw some heavy overhand punches, make it very gritty in there and make Magomedov tired. That’s the only way I can kind of see Magomedov struggle a lot. Alves is an exceptionally quick starter, he is an absolute firecracker and if he can catch Magomedov early, that’s going to be absolutely massive given the size difference. Everything Alves throws comes with silly amounts of power, and he isn’t necessarily a headhunter, he chops at the legs and body occasionally, he’s quite diverse and I think those leg kicks are going to be problematic for Magomedov, considering Magomedov needs to push forward in order to get his combinations off. Alves is a tough, tough fighter, and whilst he is coming off a savage knockout by Aliskerov, I do think that Alves is still one dangerous fighter to take on, maybe not as technical as Borralho (to compare to Magomedov’s last opponent), but he is an absolute monster when it comes to aggression and that alone could exhaust Magomedov. However, the reach and movement of Magomedov is going to be a major challenge here. I am not completely counting out Alves here, I think he is being a bit underestimated here, but I just think Magomedov has a lot more tools in his arsenal that is going to be boosted by that reach advantage, and it does seem that Alves is fairly susceptible to down the pipe shots, something that Magomedov does well. Range and distance are going to be the main gameplan for Magomedov and his time I think. I got Magomedov winning this one, but i am not very confident in this one due to the volatility of Alves’ actions. He is a wild and fast starter so I expect that first round to be the most sketchiest.
Magomedov via KO R2 - (1/3)
Women’s Bantamweight
Tamires Vidal (+300) (7-2-0, NS) v Melissa Gatto (-410) (8-2-2, 2 FLS) - This is certainly an interesting one. Vidal is coming off a tough loss against Rendon, and it was a bit of a boring fight in all honesty, with Vidal being somewhat effective on the feet with big and powerful attacks, but ultimately succumbing to the wrestling of Rendon. I don’t see that much changing this time around since Gatto is a great wrestler and Vidal has clearly shown major defensive issues in the wrestling department, so to put it bluntly, it just seems like Vidal has a puncher's chance, and if she does land those punches, I do think the tides can change a little in her favour, but it would only take one takedown for Gatto to be in full control for the rest of that round. Outside of her loss to Rendon, Vidal looked fun against Pascual, then again, a lot of fighters of a reasonably low calibre can look good against Pascual, so I think that was one of those “set up for success” fights. Still, the aggression and threat of a knockdown/out from Vidal will be fairly prevalent during this fight. But that’s about it, shes a powerful striker and quite dynamic, but her takedown defence is going to be a problem. Gatto was scheduled to fight Dudakova a few weeks ago, however that fight fell off, which is probably good for Gatto coz she’s ready for a fight regardless, shes still somewhat fresh off camp and was going to probably employ the same strategy against Vidal that she would have against Dudakova, and that was to wrestle. Gatto’s wrestling has always been a bit of a highlight for her, she’s physically strong and is able to do well in advantageous positions, holding her opponents down and either landing ground and pound or just grinding them out, exhausting them for a large chunk of the round. Gatto is also very dangerous on the feet, she has deceptively quick and powerful punches which she uses to both damage her opponents but also as an opportunity to raise their guard so the level change is more easily accessible. No matter what way you cut this slice of cake, I think Gatto’s wrestling is going to be a major problem for Vidal, and Vidal’s only way to win this fight is to keep it standing and just brawl, make it look gritty in there and potentially freeze up Gatto’s ability to wrestle cleanly. I am leaning on Gatto to win this one, but that unpredictability of Vidal’s aggression is going to be a big factor here. No major bet advice here, it seems like there is a possibility of it going over 2.5 rounds, but that’s about it.
Gatto via UD - (1/3)
Light Heavyweight
Oumar Sy (D) (9-0-0, 9 FWS) v Tuco Tokkos (D) (10-3-0, 3 FWS) - ITS DOUBLE DEBUT TIME!!! These are getting rarer and rarer the more we see fighters from DWCS make their way to the UFC, so this is a fun little occasion. Sy is coming into this fight a little bit more prepared, at least physically and cardio wise, than his replacement opponent in Tokkos. Sy is coming off a string of beautiful fights on various promotions, but most importantly he’s been relatively tested on KSW, which is one of the better promotions to come out of the European world of MMA. Sy is a long and rangey fighter who has dangerous head kicks and dangerous wrestling skills that he uses really well, and whilst he has a massive reach advantage over his opponent, he doesn’t exactly strike in any traditional way, you don’t see him throw a lot of jabs, he mostly uses his reach to lock in takedowns (since it’s easier to lock in takedowns with longer arms), and the moment the fight goes to the ground, expect him to find a position to where he can reign down heavy ground and pound. I would love to see him strike a bit more, but most of his fights are him taking his opponents down and landing ground and pound, and if he does that against a replacement fighter in Tokkos, I expect him to dominate and completely shut down Tokkos since it would take preparation to get out of funky positions that Sy puts his opponents in, and I don’t know if Tokkos has that wrestling background to handle the larger and longer opponent in Sy properly on the ground. Tokkos seemingly came out of nowhere this last week, and that one thing that blasted me in the face was the record of his second most recent opponent, Brian Jackson. Dudes got a 1-7 record and Tokkos torched him (expectedly), that doesn’t bring a lot of confidence to me that a guy like Tokkos, coming from a relatively decent gym in Kill Cliff FC, takes on and fights someone like that. Tokkos is overall a decent fighter with some strong wins under his belt, but the main thing going against him here is preparation time, and whilst he does have a fair bit of experience under his belt, I just don’t think he’s ready for someone like Sy on short notice. Tokkos is a relatively well rounded fighter with great wrestling and decent striking, but i just think all of that is going to be possibly negated by the substantial reach advantage of Sy. This is a double debut though, and whilst I normally steer clear from calling someone new to the UFC a lock, I think the fact that Sy has had a full camp for… three fights (Bellato, Trocolli (both cancelled) and now Tokkos), I think he’s ready for this fight and ready for the UFC. He will be an optional lock, but still a 2/3 confidence pick, if that makes sense.
Sy via KO R1 (2/3)
Lightweight
Tom Nolan (-450) (6-1-0, NS) v Victor Martinez (+340) (13-5-0, NS) - Both fighters made their debut and lost in the same way, in the same round, so let’s call this a second attempt at a debut lol. Nolan made his debut against knockout artist Nikolas Motta, and honestly that is a dangerous fight for anyone to take, but it probably made sense to the matchmakers since both fighters are prolific knockout artists. Nolan does finish his opponents very quickly a lot of the time, and I do think he has a massive advantage on the feet against Martinez since Martinez isn’t exactly a big threat on the feet, and his inactivity over the past few years (or lack of solid activity at least) leaves some questions hanging in the air. Nolan has a reach and height advantage here, but the most prominent advantage will be with his reach where he can string together gorgeous straight combinations to decent effect, and that’s what he’s really known for, he’s got awesome boxing and he is very confident in his punching power. He is also relatively defensively sound for someone with his size because I have pointed out before that a lot of taller and longer fighters don’t shell up a lot or have a lot of defensive layers to their style, but Nolan is overall a fairly solid boxer both on the offence and defence, it’s just a shame he got fed to the wolf when he fought Motta. Nolan made the simple mistake when he fought Motta of being in the pocket without care, and i think those kinds of mistakes are easy enough to fix, and considering Martinez is not the same kind of threat on the feet compared to Motta, I do think that gives Nolan a bit more freedom to string together combinations and overall look great on the feet, as he was meant to be, since his whole career up until that loss to Motta has been him having gorgeous striking. Martinez is coming off a KO loss also, but it was by Jordan Leavitt, and that’s just a painful look on anyone's record to get knocked out by someone who is not known for his striking. Martinez is overall a good striker, he has very fast hands, but I have noticed one thing about him that I can see Nolan landing cleanly. Martinez has the tendency to leave his right hand far from a block position, its more of a parry position, in front of him instead of beside him, and he tends to lower that hand when taking a back step, and I cannot help but see the Southpaw striker in Nolan land that left hand to the chin of Martinez. Now, any sort of exchange between either fighter here is going to be a dangerous one for both parties, but that is where reach comes in, Nolan has a diverse boxing skillset and his long attacks allow him to carry power as much as anyone elses short hooks would. One major thing Martinez is going to have to be careful of is a knee up the middle by Nolan as Nolan’s height is going to allow that knee to come up to target without a major loss to momentum, and I mean, if Martinez got dropped by Rosales on DWCS, then by Leavitt, I just don’t know if he has the chin to withstand the battering that comes from Nolan. I got Nolan winning this one, but this is going to be a fantastic fight which isn’t likely to go the distance.
Nolan via KO R1 - (2/3)
Main Card
Women’s Strawweight
Angela Hill (#12) (-160) (16-13-0, NS) v Luana Pinheiro (#13) (+130) (11-2-0, NS) - This is a great fight. Hill is coming off a very strong win over Denise Gomes, and it was honestly such a brilliant performance by someone who a lot of people tend to ignore. Hill is an incredibly diverse fighter, she is tenacious on the feet, highly capable of stringing together strong combinations from all ranges, and as she closes the distance, she’s good at tying up her opponent in a clinch and landing awesome knees and elbows. This is all Hill and her cumulative experience in the Octagon against a wide range of different fighters and styles, and it’s clear to me that her preparation for a lot of her fights involve solid planning and back up plans, because whilst her record reflects a rough run through her career, her level of competition is insane. Hill isn’t a finisher though, but she is someone who can keep a ridiculous pace for three rounds, so I do think that she has the capabilities to overwhelm Pinheiro on the feet, especially since we just saw Ribas do the same thing a little over 5 months ago. Hill will have a striking advantage in this fight, she throws a lot of volume at high speed towards her opponent and they do land effectively, and with a slight edge in reach I do see her having a bit more success on the feet here especially since Pinheiro does not have a lot of head movement or striking defence. Pinheiro is a danger to Hill in the grappling department though, especially in those transitions from standing to ground, she utilises hip throws relatively well and could make this fight ugly on the ground, but I don’t think there is a major submission threat here, I think her style is predominantly control and ground and pound, both things that Hill has experience in dealing with, although she still will lose the round if Pinheiro executes her gameplan well. Pinheiro has power in her hands, she could potentially make Hill a little bit frozen and hesitant on the feet once Pinheiro lands that overhand right that Pinheiro loves to throw early, but she doesn’t throw it often enough to lead to a significant finish, she’s a very low volume, high impact striker and that could play in the favour of Hill if Hill’s volume walks Pinheiro back into the cage. Pinheiro could make this fight dangerous for Hill on the ground, but we have seen a few times now that Hill is very good at the basics of takedown defence, underhooks, whizzers (if i spelt that correctly) and quickly getting back to a standing position, she is not complacent on the ground or in that transition to the ground, and I think any sort of failed takedown attempt from Pinheiro is going to fuel Hill a lot more, since Pinheiro only has a few kinds of takedowns. This is a hard on to pick in all seriousness, I might get the prediction wrong, but I have a strong feeling that we are going to see this fight go over 2.5 rounds, or even hit the scorecards. As for the prediction, looking at this fight, I am kind of leaning on Hill here, because Pinheiro’s wins aren’t as significant as Hill’s wins, and i do think Pinheiro fades a little bit as the fight goes on.
Hill via UD - (1/3)
Bantamweight
Adrian Yanez (-350) (16-5-0, 2 FLS) v Vinicius Salvador (+275) (14-6-0, 2 FLS) - I love this fight. Yanez is coming off two painful back to back KO losses, whenever a young fighter comes into the UFC, tears through the division, then hits a losing skid, it’s always a concern to any fan or pundit. However, I do think that leg kick KO is anomalous to the UFC, it rarely happens and I don’t think Salvador is much of a leg kicker anyway so the threat isn’t there. However, I do want to add that the psychological factor of maybe getting leg kicked to oblivion is going to weigh heavy on Yanez’ mind, and I do wonder if Yanez has drilled checking leg kicks before. Now, Yanez is still a dangerous opponent for anyone to take, he still has incredibly technical MMA boxing, and that’s going to be on full display this weekend. Yanez is so fluid and yet tricky on the feet, he’s very good at gauging range and firing away from different angles, as well as timing his shots off his opponents striking attempts, everything involving striking exchanges will most likely be in the favour of Yanez, he thrives in that space and I do believe his experience and his wins prior to those two devastating losses are going to shine this weekend. My only concern about Yanez is his ability to not get carried away and show his chin too much, because whilst Salvador is yet to get a win in the UFC, he still has had some mild striking success against fighters like Altamirano and Vergara, and it wouldn’t take a lot for Salvador to find the chin of Yanez. Salvador is a very funky and unorthodox fighter, and whilst that always brings positive attention to him, I also think that has been a product of failure for him also since the more cleaner fighters outbox him, are generally a lot faster and just find their mark a bit quicker, if that makes sense? I mean, Salvador’s stance is fairly loose, his chin is in the air and his shell is rather loose, and that’s not good news, especially if he’s facing a vicious fighter like Yanez. Salvador thrives in chaotic fights though, he is awesome and making it dangerous and risky for his opponents to fight in the pocket, but his style emanates a lack of self preservation. He is a kill or be killed kind of fighter in my opinion, and I firmly believe that when he got dropped numerous times in that first round against Victor Altamirano, it only showed us, and any future opponent (via tape watch in prep) that he is very hittable, his head is right there and the only reason it wasn’t there for Vergara was due to the significant difference in height and reach. Salvador moving up to 135 could make him a lot more interesting in terms of being able to explode more often and having more power behind his punches, but I also think it means he is dealing with more harder hitting fighters, and with the accuracy and boxing skill set of Yanez, I just think Salvador is going to get outdone here. I got Yanez winning this one, but I am interested to see if Salvador has what it takes to win and upset a lot of parlays out there.
Yanez via KO R2 - (1/3)
Welterweight
Ramiz Brahimaj (+170) (10-4-0, NS) v Themba Gorimbo (-205) (12-4-0, 2 FWS) - Brahimaj is coming back after two tough years away, and the reason why it’s tough is because he has been dealing with a spinal injury, and boy do i empathise with that. Now, his injury is mostly C-Spine and shoulder area nerve damage, this is terrible for a fighter because it effectively eliminates your ability to comfortably strike, sprawl, wrestle, underhook/overhook stuff, everything that you see in a fighter typically comes from shoulder rotation and all that stuff, so for Brahimaj to be out for two years, dealing with all of that, does not give me a lot of confidence in him being 100% coming into this fight against Gorimbo. Brahimaj is a dangerous grappler who thrives on the ground, he is honestly only dangerous on the ground, but the problem is that Gorimbo is very good on the ground himself, at least good enough to know what is being set up, and it’s on the ground where Brahimaj has his only chance to win. Unfortunately for Brahimaj, it’s going to take some work to get the fight to the ground and Gorimbo is more than willing to keep the fight standing, so honestly, I just don’t think Brahimaj is going to be as well rounded or as effective as he needs to be in order to get a win here. Gorimbo is riding some momentum coming into this fight, as he is coming off a lightning quick KO over Pete Rodriguez, and I mean, Rodriguez sucks, he’s one of the worst fighters in the UFC and that KO means nothing in the grand scheme of things, it’s just an additional win on a record with barely any weight to it. Gorimbo is going to be a lot more confident in his boxing though since that win, that feeling of getting knockouts is an addictive one and I think he’s going to be using his incredible reach advantage to look to get another KO this weekend over the possibly rusty Brahimaj. Gorimbo is a very well rounded fighter who honestly has a lot of potential to be a star, he has excellent boxing, and honestly very good wrestling and grappling, and I do think if the fight does go to the ground, Gorimbo has the fight IQ to notice set ups coming, neutralize them and remain on top in control, landing ground and pound or just advancing to his own submission positions. The most likely scenario though is Gorimbo keeps this fight standing and overwhelms Brahimaj on the feet, because he probably wants to chase another KO since that feeling is notoriously addictive. I got Gorimbo winning this one, I can’t wait to see how far this man goes in his career.
Gorimbo via KO R1 - (2/3)
Co-Main Event
Welterweight
Khaos Williams (-125) (14-3-0, NS) v Carlston Harris (+105) (19-5-0, 2 FWS) - This feels like a classic Striker versus Grappler fight. Williams is a strong, powerful striker who is such a threat on the feet, especially early on when he wants to push a nasty pace and land those devastating punches. He is known for being a bully, crashing forward with crazy power and aggression. There is no clean technique coming from Williams, it is mostly wild, wild punches and he is confident in his ability to knock out his opponent, that’s what makes him a dangerous threat to his opponents, that confidence. The right hand is Williams best weapon, his right overhand or hook is going to be the one that knocks out Harris if it lands, but that’s all he is, a powerful right side puncher, and if Harris times a takedown well, all of that threat is gone. On the flip side, Harris is primarily a grappler with a solid grappling base, and whilst he has faced his fair share of dangerous strikers, I believe Williams’ power is something different. Now, Harris has the potential to take this fight to the ground, I know that according to UFC stats that Harris has an 80% takedown defence, but there has not been enough wrestling in his fights, by his opponents, to fully prove that his takedown defence is that great, it’s only been used sparingly against him since most of his fights are absolute wild exchanges and beautiful displays of violence on the feet. Williams' propensity to head hunt could lead to an opening for a level change by Harris, but it’s a risky thing to do because any punch that lands on Harris is going to hurt him, and considering the age factor here, its possible his chin isn’t going to hold up well against the power of Williams. Now, Harris was getting ragdolls and outwrestled by Wells when they fought, and whilst that isn’t a great look for Harris, I don’t think Williams has the wrestling capabilities that Wells has, so I think the main submission threat from Harris in this fight is going to come from the clinch, so guillotines and front head choke variants are going to be on the menu for Harris this weekend, it’s just a matter of if he gets into that position or if he gets his head blasted over and over by powerful punches from Williams. This is a dangerous fight to bet on if you’re thinking of Moneyline betting, it can easily go either way since both excel in their respective styles, the safest and smartest bet here in my opinion is that this fight doesn’t hit the judges scorecards. As for my prediction, I don’t think i’ll be getting this right due to the volatile nature of this match up, but…
Harris via Sub R2 - (1/3)
Main Event
Featherweight
Edson Barboza (#14) (+125) (24-11-0, 2 FWS) v Lerone Murphy (-150) (13-0-1, 5 FWS FWS) - Man this is a funky main event. Barboza is a legend of the sport, but most importantly, and perhaps most relevant to this write up, he is an old dog who can still hang with the toughest. His last two wins have been against Yusuff and Quarantillo, two very difficult fighters to take on at 145 and it’s his win over Yusuff that I want to highlight… Yusuff exploded in the first round, looked for that finish and Barboza survived and thrived throughout the rest of the fight, it was a beautiful display of heart, toughness, and adaptability, because that was not the first firefight that Barboza has been in, and considering his current opponent, it sure as shit won’t be his last. Barboza is well known for his outstanding kicks, but he’s also just overall a ridiculously dangerous striker. An understated aspect of his whole game though is his wrestling and grappling, he might not be looking for a lot of takedowns when he fights, but he is well versed on the ground, having taken down Yusuff 3 of 4 times in the final round of a high pace main event is testament to his cardio and conditioning, despite the concern surrounding his age. Barboza is going to be a true test on the feet for Murphy, and I think it’s going to be the toughest fight of his career. Murphy is coming off a string of strong victories in the UFC, with his most recent one being against Culibao, and I gotta say, Murphy is one of those dangerous prospects that we all should keep an eye on. Murphy is a rapidly improving fighter who adds weapons to his arsenal every single time he comes out. He was originally a boxer with outstanding punching power and speed, he was ridiculously slick on the feet, but after each fight he adds more kicks, more movement and wrestling, he has slowly become a very well rounded fighter, and this makes his upcoming bout against a very tested veteran who is still here to stay in Barboza incredibly fascinating. There is a slight catch to all of those additional things added into his arsenal though, and that’s each time something has been added, the next opponent has something else to prepare for. I firmly believe that Murphy’s rise to this position and to this fight is not from his outstanding skill level, but from his incredible repertoire of techniques he has acquired and learnt over his UFC career. Unpredictability is king when it comes to new fighters, we have seen new fighters add things to their game that have completely changed and accelerated their growth, and that’s exactly what we have seen for Murphy. Murphy has a wide variety of strong strikes he uses effortlessly, from standard boxing combinations to a very snappy high kick, to strong grappling and control on the ground, he hasn’t mastered any of these things, but since they are added along each and every time he fights, his opponents are rarely prepared. This is not going to be the case for Barboza, Barboza is very, very well rounded and well versed in almost every aspect of MMA. Ill keep this short. I got Barboza winning this one, but I am still going to be a fan of Murphy, regardless of result.
Barboza via UD - (1/3)
Primary Parlay: Ducote/Demopoulos o2.5 or GTD + (optional Gatto/Vidal o2.5 or GTD) + Nolan/Martinez ITD + Hill/Pinheiro o2.5 or GTD + Barboza/Murphy R3 Starts
Locks of the week: Optional Sy + Nolan + Gorimbo
Alt Bets: Alves KO R1, Pinheiro Sub R2 or 3, Williams KO R1, Murphy KO R1 2 or 3 (combo rounds)
And that's it!!!!
Prediction accuracy as of 2024: 64.6%
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I hope you all have an amazing day, look after yourselves, and enjoy this awesome event!

My spouse is currently 42 Days sober out of rehab, and I am so proud! So many positive changes, and I can see his heart, its an amazing feeling. Unfortunately I was under the misguided impression that when he became sober, he would be completely out of the “psychosis” and realize that what he had been accusing me of, was just bizarre and not true. Yet here we sit, trying to show each other love, yet I know in the back of his mind, he legitimately believes he caught me in MULTIPLE porn video’s(which he sent to me while I was working), sleeping with his family members, male and female, ages ranging from high school, up to 50’s…strangers, all the neighbors…you name it, he accused me of it. Even when these women look nothing like me and they are covering their eyes. So i guess my question isn’t why he feels this way, because I’ve read about all i could read about drug induced psychosis…but more a question as to maybe how long, or is this idea going to stay planted forever? He refuses to watch the video’s he sent me before going to rehab. I had kept them as my “proof” per se that they weren’t me, but he believes he will just be triggered by watching them because he is afraid he will still “see me” in them, even though I have never done such a thing in my life, and 110% those women are not me. In my mind I’m thinking, what better solution to the problem, than to watch the videos with sober eyes and realize they aren’t me, wouldn’t that be a damn relief, for the both of us? Obviously not a relief if his brain could truly cause him to picture my face on other peoples bodies, but of course I’m not thinking of that, when I know that no way in hell these people are me, just like I cant possibly understand where he is coming from, he cannot see perspective from my side either, when this is quite literally reality versus drug induced psychosis… Has anyone experienced this situation? I cannot help but to feel offended by these accusations, and the strong desire to prove my innocence. What I cannot seem to get on board with, is the idea that he needs to just be able to deal with “my cheating” “accept it” and be able to “move on”…because that is offensive to my sensibilities. I WAS THE ONE WHO WAS ACTualLY BETRAYED…so those resentments and feelings of a need for forgivingness belong to me, how can I watch someone try to “get over, and be okay with” something I never did…that cannot be the best solution to the problem, because for the rest of our lives, can he then claim to be triggered by the fact that I had cheated on him, even if only in his head, and I must feel some sort of pity for him, and treat the situation delicately like I have anything to be sorry for, and feel empathy for him? Selfishly I am speaking now, but those feelings of betrayal belong to me, I am the one who is destroyed inside, lacking confidence, feeling like I wasn’t enough, but does the success of his recovery process mean that I must make myself small once again and allow him to believe that he is working on forgiveness for my actions? That is such a damn hard pill to swallow…although, I would do it, I just want there to be another answer. He cheated on me multiple times over multiple years, so I’m aware that he may be projecting his own insecurities onto me because of his guilt, and I need to be sensitive to the fact that what happened in his head was very real to him…but how do I maneuver around the ideas put into his head when he was experiencing psychosis, now that his brain is healing and he is sober? I hoped that there would just be a “TADAAA” moment when he was sober, that he would finally see what I had been seeing this whole time, but is that too much to hope for? I have stayed by his side, and tried to be his strongest supporter, I have tried to take on all child and financial responsibilities, and I am emotionally wore out…yet I must be met with questions about WHERE the money to do the supporting is coming from…because it couldn’t possibly be the job that I’ve maintained…while being alone to take care of the child a majority of his life, and making sure I drove all the way across the state whenever I was allowed to visit at rehab. I cannot help but to feel anger when I am struggling so much and fighting for what I know my reality is, yet trying to be supportive for him, barely getting sleep, and continuing to go to work…and then be accused of getting money from anywhere but the job that my bank account and paystubs can verify. I love him more than he will ever know, but my anger that he would accuse me of such things, is starting to be replaced by sadness. I do not necessarily want to feel sorry for him, because I know this is not fair to me, but how can I not have empathy for the person I love so much, that actually feels somewhat broken hearted, even if not because of my true actions…? To look into the eyes of someone you love, and know that this isn’t just a game, that they are feeling true pain, based on facts that have become so real to them in their head…it breaks my heart, even though I have no guilt to carry, as I have never been unfaithful. I wanted to be mad for the longest time, but it hurts different when you know that scenes, and photos, and voices were actually playing over in their heads, and they actually feel they were betrayed…how do we prepare ourselves for situations like this? He was absolutely awful to me when he was high, accused me of every disgusting act, with strangers, his family, anyone. I was called every name in the book, but I just tried to research what this drug was doing to him, I felt knowledge could help me to separate my feelings from myself so I could just try to understand what was going on, and because deaf and numb to how he was making me feel. I already know that I struggle with depression, insecurity, and an unhealthy need to belong and be desired by my partner, so I had to go to extreme lengths to prove I cared, and a lot of those lengths compromised me, and they were at my expense, because I am not okay, but I focus on him and his recovery so that I don’t have to deal with those feelings for now. I felt I owed it to our 4 year old son, to try and help his father, and I also selfishly believed that I deserved a good man, after all the ****, it was my turn to be happy, and I had chosen his…God had chosen him to lead my family, so i wasn’t going to give up on him. How do I now not feel like I have to spend every moment feeling I have to try and prove something that never happened? I know what infidelity did to me, to my very core, I am not okay, a large part due to the fact that I still could never imagine flirting with another man, let alone having sex with them, it makes me sick, that’s how ridiculously faithful I am in my heart, and mind…that my body would never do what he was able to do to me. I have to try and tell myself, although I know it isn’t true, he doesn’t, and what if he is feeling the same way in his gut, that I feel because of actions he actually took? Is this a life sentence? How long does reality take to set back in, or are the memories that occurred during psychosis permanent?? Is this a problem that now sits as a dark shadow over our relationship, that he must “deal with”…or is there hope that a day comes where that paranoia and delusional thinking gets exposed, and clear thinking can prove to himself that what he thought was true, never was? I want an epiphany…not just acceptance from him, I want him to know absolutely that I didn’t deserve his behaviors and that I have always been true and stood right there, I need a miracle… I cannot picture a happy future with someone who feels they must forgive me for something that I didn’t do, that specific something being my largest daily struggle, trying not to think of that her, that woman who came like a tornado through me, she destroyed any sort of positive thinking I had started accumulating towards myself, anything good I felt I had to offer, and sense of confidence I may have built in myself when I fell in love with him, gone… the moment I realized that I wasn’t enough, over ,and over, and over again…the thought of that infidelity tears my stomach up when I have to think about it, so if some storyline is playing in his head, and he feels betrayed… if we are both that hurt, how does our story end, if sobriety doesn’t mean clear eyes on the same situation?

My spouse is currently 42 Days sober out of rehab, and I am so proud! So many positive changes, and I can see his heart, its an amazing feeling. Unfortunately I was under the misguided impression that when he became sober, he would be completely out of the “psychosis” and realize that what he had been accusing me of, was just bizarre and not true. Yet here we sit, trying to show each other love, yet I know in the back of his mind, he legitimately believes he caught me in MULTIPLE porn video’s(which he sent to me while I was working), sleeping with his family members, male and female, ages ranging from high school, up to 50’s…strangers, all the neighbors…you name it, he accused me of it. Even when these women look nothing like me and they are covering their eyes. So i guess my question isn’t why he feels this way, because I’ve read about all i could read about drug induced psychosis…but more a question as to maybe how long, or is this idea going to stay planted forever? He refuses to watch the video’s he sent me before going to rehab. I had kept them as my “proof” per se that they weren’t me, but he believes he will just be triggered by watching them because he is afraid he will still “see me” in them, even though I have never done such a thing in my life, and 110% those women are not me. In my mind I’m thinking, what better solution to the problem, than to watch the videos with sober eyes and realize they aren’t me, wouldn’t that be a damn relief, for the both of us? Obviously not a relief if his brain could truly cause him to picture my face on other peoples bodies, but of course I’m not thinking of that, when I know that no way in hell these people are me, just like I cant possibly understand where he is coming from, he cannot see perspective from my side either, when this is quite literally reality versus drug induced psychosis… Has anyone experienced this situation? I cannot help but to feel offended by these accusations, and the strong desire to prove my innocence. What I cannot seem to get on board with, is the idea that he needs to just be able to deal with “my cheating” “accept it” and be able to “move on”…because that is offensive to my sensibilities. I WAS THE ONE WHO WAS ACTualLY BETRAYED…so those resentments and feelings of a need for forgivingness belong to me, how can I watch someone try to “get over, and be okay with” something I never did…that cannot be the best solution to the problem, because for the rest of our lives, can he then claim to be triggered by the fact that I had cheated on him, even if only in his head, and I must feel some sort of pity for him, and treat the situation delicately like I have anything to be sorry for, and feel empathy for him? Selfishly I am speaking now, but those feelings of betrayal belong to me, I am the one who is destroyed inside, lacking confidence, feeling like I wasn’t enough, but does the success of his recovery process mean that I must make myself small once again and allow him to believe that he is working on forgiveness for my actions? That is such a damn hard pill to swallow…although, I would do it, I just want there to be another answer. He cheated on me multiple times over multiple years, so I’m aware that he may be projecting his own insecurities onto me because of his guilt, and I need to be sensitive to the fact that what happened in his head was very real to him…but how do I maneuver around the ideas put into his head when he was experiencing psychosis, now that his brain is healing and he is sober? I hoped that there would just be a “TADAAA” moment when he was sober, that he would finally see what I had been seeing this whole time, but is that too much to hope for? I have stayed by his side, and tried to be his strongest supporter, I have tried to take on all child and financial responsibilities, and I am emotionally wore out…yet I must be met with questions about WHERE the money to do the supporting is coming from…because it couldn’t possibly be the job that I’ve maintained…while being alone to take care of the child a majority of his life, and making sure I drove all the way across the state whenever I was allowed to visit at rehab. I cannot help but to feel anger when I am struggling so much and fighting for what I know my reality is, yet trying to be supportive for him, barely getting sleep, and continuing to go to work…and then be accused of getting money from anywhere but the job that my bank account and paystubs can verify. I love him more than he will ever know, but my anger that he would accuse me of such things, is starting to be replaced by sadness. I do not necessarily want to feel sorry for him, because I know this is not fair to me, but how can I not have empathy for the person I love so much, that actually feels somewhat broken hearted, even if not because of my true actions…? To look into the eyes of someone you love, and know that this isn’t just a game, that they are feeling true pain, based on facts that have become so real to them in their head…it breaks my heart, even though I have no guilt to carry, as I have never been unfaithful. I wanted to be mad for the longest time, but it hurts different when you know that scenes, and photos, and voices were actually playing over in their heads, and they actually feel they were betrayed…how do we prepare ourselves for situations like this? He was absolutely awful to me when he was high, accused me of every disgusting act, with strangers, his family, anyone. I was called every name in the book, but I just tried to research what this drug was doing to him, I felt knowledge could help me to separate my feelings from myself so I could just try to understand what was going on, and because deaf and numb to how he was making me feel. I already know that I struggle with depression, insecurity, and an unhealthy need to belong and be desired by my partner, so I had to go to extreme lengths to prove I cared, and a lot of those lengths compromised me, and they were at my expense, because I am not okay, but I focus on him and his recovery so that I don’t have to deal with those feelings for now. I felt I owed it to our 4 year old son, to try and help his father, and I also selfishly believed that I deserved a good man, after all the ****, it was my turn to be happy, and I had chosen his…God had chosen him to lead my family, so i wasn’t going to give up on him. How do I now not feel like I have to spend every moment feeling I have to try and prove something that never happened? I know what infidelity did to me, to my very core, I am not okay, a large part due to the fact that I still could never imagine flirting with another man, let alone having sex with them, it makes me sick, that’s how ridiculously faithful I am in my heart, and mind…that my body would never do what he was able to do to me. I have to try and tell myself, although I know it isn’t true, he doesn’t, and what if he is feeling the same way in his gut, that I feel because of actions he actually took? Is this a life sentence? How long does reality take to set back in, or are the memories that occurred during psychosis permanent?? Is this a problem that now sits as a dark shadow over our relationship, that he must “deal with”…or is there hope that a day comes where that paranoia and delusional thinking gets exposed, and clear thinking can prove to himself that what he thought was true, never was? I want an epiphany…not just acceptance from him, I want him to know absolutely that I didn’t deserve his behaviors and that I have always been true and stood right there, I need a miracle… I cannot picture a happy future with someone who feels they must forgive me for something that I didn’t do, that specific something being my largest daily struggle, trying not to think of that her, that woman who came like a tornado through me, she destroyed any sort of positive thinking I had started accumulating towards myself, anything good I felt I had to offer, and sense of confidence I may have built in myself when I fell in love with him, gone… the moment I realized that I wasn’t enough, over ,and over, and over again…the thought of that infidelity tears my stomach up when I have to think about it, so if some storyline is playing in his head, and he feels betrayed… if we are both that hurt, how does our story end, if sobriety doesn’t mean clear eyes on the same situation?

Sup,
So I was with a girl from 2019-2023 (until January 2024)
Long story short, we both cheated on each other. I split with her in January / February.
I met a new girl who is amazing, she really helped me heal and in turn I think I'm helping her heal too. (She is going through something way worse than me)
By far the girl I like most so far / I'd be keen to marry her if I was sorted in career / life etc.
So:
I have a history of being with lots of girls and multiple women in a rotation, and it's my first rodeo in awhile being fully and honestly committed. (Yes I know, what a dickhead)
Me and the new girl are both catholic, and we both have decided to try to keep each pure and bring each other closer to God. (Which I think is beautiful)
She's a really sweet girl and to clarify, we have had sex. (We try not to but stuff up)
Here's the issue:
A, I have girls who I used to see sending me nudes, showing up to my street and more or less throwing themselves at me. (I've said no already to all / blocked)
B, I am getting a little sexually frustrated because I'm also not keen to tell her about all these orbiters trying to bang down my door to get the old pipe.
C, My number 1 priority is to act in this girl's best interests so my solution is to shut my mouth and try to love her and never let her know even if I am turning down others girls / sex.
What I'd like to know is:
A, Should I tell her and let her know I'm keen to bang her more and it would sorta also help me not crave sex because we're doing it
B, Do I learn to just not crave it by avoiding it / falling in love with her character
For clarity she'd be down to do it more but it's a sin, and we both believe in God. (Catholic)
And the reason I don't want to is because I want to honour God but have a past as a large man-whore and there's fucking plenty of hoes about waiting for me to trip.
I've been staying in my house every weekend and avoiding parties because I don't want to run into girls I used to sleep with etc.
I know it sounds ridiculous but if anyone has some advice on this or how I can like transition into a better / more loyal person successfully - I'm all ears.
For clarity I haven't and won't cheat on her. I have with other girls, but not her. She's dope and the last thing I'd do is hurt her.

In the hushed corridors of Ashley's world, a mysterious silence shrouds her absence. Perhaps she awoke to the sight of Erik's back turned, illuminated by the glow of his phone screen as he engaged in clandestine conversations with other women, inciting a rage within her that threatened to consume them both. Or maybe it was the aftermath of a night spent indulging in excess, her body succumbing to exhaustion and malnutrition, leaving her in a state of languid repose. Wherever she may be, the enigma of Ashley's whereabouts looms large, leaving her followers to wonder and speculate.
Her erratic presence in the digital realm only adds to the intrigue, with her live appearances becoming increasingly sporadic and unpredictable. Whether she's tardy or only gracing her followers with fleeting glimpses, Ashley's disregard for their time is palpable, leaving her loyal moderator Melissa in a state of perpetual anticipation. Despite facing consequences at her job for her incessant phone use, Melissa remains steadfast in her dedication to Ashley, eagerly awaiting the opportunity to serve as a moderator in today's live stream.
When Ashley finally emerged, she appeared disoriented and intoxicated. Her nodding-off on the live stream sent shockwaves through her concerned fan base, prompting one brave follower to inquire about her well-being. However, Melissa swiftly intervened, blocking any comments regarding Ashley's intoxication, even as she herself harbored deep-seated concerns. Despite her unwavering loyalty and dedication to Ashley, Melissa's actions inadvertently enable her self-destructive behavior. By showering Ashley with money and shielding her from criticism, Melissa perpetuates the cycle of toxicity that defines their relationship. But what does Melissa gain from this one-sided dynamic? Perhaps it's a sense of purpose or belonging, a fleeting sense of validation in the transient moments when Ashley acknowledges her presence. Yet, as Ashley's antics escalate and her disregard for Melissa's well-being becomes increasingly apparent, one cannot help but question the true nature of their friendship. For beneath the facade of camaraderie lies a troubling truth: Ashley may be a terrible friend to have, but Melissa remains ensnared in the tangled web of her influence, unable to break free from the grip of her digital allure.
In Ashley's latest attempt to portray a semblance of normalcy, she filmed a "day in the life" video, showcasing what she claimed to be her weekly restock routine. However, upon closer inspection, it became apparent that this outing was far from the responsible weekly shopping trip it was purported to be. Instead, it appeared to be a spur-of-the-moment excursion, characteristic of Ashley's impulsive nature. Contrary to the expectations of a typical grocery run, Ashley emerged from the store with an array of junk food and unhealthy treats, seemingly more focused on indulging her own cravings than stocking up on essential items. Moreover, her shopping cart contained little to no actual groceries, with the majority of her purchases consisting of frivolous items and accessories.
As Ashley wandered the aisles, her attention seemed to drift towards clothing items rather than pantry staples or household necessities. Touching each garment with a sense of longing, she appeared to be more interested in satisfying her desire for instant gratification than adhering to any semblance of responsible shopping behavior. Despite her attempts to project an image of normalcy, it became increasingly evident that Ashley's shopping trip was anything but typical, serving as yet another testament to her penchant for impulsive decision-making and disregard for practicality.
As the day drew to a close, Ashley retreated to the dimly lit confines of her bedroom, her four phones scattered haphazardly amidst a tangled labyrinth of cords. With Erik's distant snores echoing softly in the background and the faint scent of her neglected dogs wafting through the air, she found solace in the flickering glow of her screens, each one a portal to a digital world where her troubles could be momentarily forgotten. And as she drifted into a fitful sleep, ensconced in the warmth of her makeshift cocoon, Ashley couldn't help but wonder what tomorrow would bring, clinging to the faint hope that amidst the chaos and uncertainty of her reality, there might still be a glimmer of light waiting to guide her through the darkness.

In recent years, India has witnessed a significant shift in the entrepreneurial landscape, with a surge in women-led start-ups. This transformation is largely driven by the increasing focus on girls’ education and the creation of a supportive ecosystem for women entrepreneurs. In this article, we explore the link between girls’ education and start-ups, examining the challenges, opportunities, and success stories that illustrate the impact of empowering women through education.
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I’ve seen a lot of ladies saying they hate their nostrils, or they hate the arch of their nose, or it’s too big.
Ladies… I don’t know if this insecurity has to do with men, and the idea that men won’t like your nose.
But if that is the concern, I have good news.
That idea is dogshit. Your nose is fantastic.
Straight men are attracted to feminine traits, and despite what you may have been led to believe, there isn’t one nose type that is more feminine than another. There are face shapes that are arguably more feminine. High contrast in your face is good (hence makeup). A feminine figure is fantastic. But a feminine nose? What is that? Smaller?
I submit that if there’s a guy who decides he likes only smaller noses, he isn’t a man who likes actual women. He like anime cartoons. Because flesh and blood women have all kinds of noses, and almost all of them are great. Big arch? That’s regal. You look like royalty. Large nostrils? Awesome, she can probably breathe really well. Your nose doesn’t have to be a dainty lil’ ski slope for men to like your face. It’ll be way more about the clarity of your skin, the brightness of your eyes. Your nose is great. More than great. I don’t think I’m alone when I say I prefer a prominent nose on a woman.
If the insecurity you’re facing has anything to do with what men will think, then you can rest easy. “Nose” isn’t anywhere near the top 20 things a guy will first notice.
If anything, just focus on your health. Literally ALL the things men think they’re attracted to are quick proxies for health. That’s what they’re looking for, whether they realize it or not. If you’re healthy, strong, and happy, you’ll radiate attractiveness to any man around you. That’s really all it takes.

Hi,
Just wanted to get some clarification from other people (especially those who fall into the „twink“ category) about what is happening to me.
So I myself am gay and I often get labeled as a cute twink and also identify myself as one (skinny, young, blue eyes/blond hair). For quite a long period of my life I was completely insecure about my physical appearance - as I always thought that I have to be masculine, have a beard, muscles etc.
Considering the gender norms I’d also personally say that I have a large number of qualities that are associated with femininity. I am kind, modest, affectionate and try my best to look „pretty“ as such.
Now I think I got over the fact that I’ll probably never be the macho, hypermasculine guy and I am embracing the fact that I am a twink that might appear effeminate to some people. Nevertheless deep down I am quite insecure and shy although I am not always projecting it to the outside world as I try to appear quite confident and self conscious to others.
Now after growing up a bit more, getting more experiences as well as trying to look even more cute/boyish and I notice the vast amount of attention that I get from (especially) males. I recently started working in a large restaurant that serves a few hundred guest each day and I literally feel like a zoo animal as I get constantly stared at as soon as I appear in their view. Sometimes when I’m busy doing something and look suddenly up I just notice that I am being watched and how guys are trying to quickly try to look away but are sometimes just not fast enough for me not noticing it. When I walk somewhere there would be always, more often, guys that try to make eye contact or sometimes I’d also notice that someone is trying hard almost forcing not to look at me. Now the problem no.1 is that I feel a bit overwhelmed and I don’t know how the behave anymore as I feel like I am being constantly watched and as a result I am a bit to self-aware of myself, thinking how I should walk and keep a neutral face and try to not act weird in any way. The second thing is that for a long time I was a bit scared of straight guys. I always thought that straight men would judge me for being physically and emotionally more effeminate and react quite bad or even with aggression towards me.
However after having contact with so many customers each day I started to see that most guys are trying to be quite nice to me and most shockingly there would be guys who would become extremely nervous during interactions (hands super shacking) beyond the point that I have to look away sometimes so they can pay with their credit card. On the other hand women can be quite shitty to me and very unfriendly or dry although I am generally trying to be more gentle and kinder to them as I feel more comfortable presenting myself as more feminine or gay to women. I also sometimes feel that some might be jealous especially if there are with their partners and the guy is paying a lot of attention to me. Not sure if that feeling is valid.
So after realising all this I started to understand that I might attract a lot of males, which straight up confuses me. Considering that only 10% of people consider themselves lgbt I can’t understand why I get all these reactions considering that most people still know that I am a guy. Knowing that, I myself, try not to maintain the eye contact with guys but rather try to look down to avoid the response to their gaze. Sometimes I am quite curious where it would lead to with some of them if I would actively engage with them for a longer time where I clearly make it visible to them that I find them appealing.
I just want to say that I feel quite embarrassed writing all this as I feel that I might come of as arrogant, but it’s just something I noticed for a while now and I can’t cope with it. It’s actually negatively impacting me to the extent that I hate going out to public places and after each shift I’m yet again confused about all the male attention.
So maybe someone has some explanation on what is happening here so that it no longer confuses me. Maybe there are people that would describe themselves being similar to me and experience a similar phenomena. Or maybe I’m just starting to become insane (idk).

Long story- went camping with a large group of friends. There was this girl, she was there with another man (on and off dating). We befriended and hung out throughout the trip. On night 3, we all got drunk and had a good time. I went to bed and was a bit hungover the next day. Things got a bit awkward after that but I thought it was for other reasons. Flash forward to days later from the trip. I receive a message from her with her owning to the cheating. Screenshots of my husband pursuing her hardcore while I was asleep in the trailer with my children. He tried HARD to have sex with her, though she shut him down. But he didn’t give up easy. I asked if anything physical happened and she said when it was just them by the fire, he put his hands in her pants and was kissing her neck, so she pushed him off and went to bed. He was never going to tell me this either. It would’ve gone to the grave with him.
We have a past where he constantly lies to me. He has never physically cheated on me till this moment but has lied about messaging women and being overly friendly in text.
I guess I just need advice on what I should do.
So let me break down our relationship. We have been together for near a decade. Have two children together. He was my golden retriever husband for many years until we had kids. Life was perfect. But I went through severe postpartum depression and anxiety and gained weight. We fight often in these past few years. But he is amazing with our kids, and also has an amazing career and supports all our needs so I can be a stay at home mom.
I joined a gym and got into the best shape of my life, and I get compliments regularly so I know I’m an attractive woman.
He owned his mistake and said he was so drunk he can’t even remember messaging her that night. And wanted to kill himself the next morning when he realized what he’d done.
He isn’t perfect, neither am I. But what he did was the absolute betrayal and I don’t know if I can forgive him. Not easily at least. Is this worth fighting for my marriage or am I better off finding a man who will treat me right? Even with the hardship of divorce and life with kids in separation. I still love him with all my heart but I’m a jealous person and I feel like this will eat at me for the rest of my life.
I need a golden retriever husband, don’t we all?

A/N: This incorporates a new build, with additional drawbacks and perks. I added a few gamer functions, as well as Lightning Quick, Brute Strength, DPS, and Rogue. More details are available over on Spacebattles (I also edited the original chapters there to reflect the changes).
Within minutes of entering the building and clocking in, I'm speedily typing away at my computer. There are stacks of papers on my desk that I am dedicatedly transcribing and digitizing.
This is my job, at least on most days. I have to take sheets of paper, invariably assorted forms related to insurance, and digitize them. In minutes I have already done this to a few different types of forms, from applications to the paperwork regarding claims and investigations into claims. "Speed Typist" mixed with "Lightning Quick" allows me to easily breeze through even dense forms and shift between the programs I need to use for each type of form. My job is hilariously, almost offensively, easy and I have already heard that we have a backlog so I have plenty of stuff to go through.
As I type I begin to think about each of my gamer perks as well as my system. Every few minutes I'll "mistype" thanks to "Buggy" and I'll spend a split second going back and fixing my mistake but between "The Devil's Own Luck" and "Lightning Quick" I'm able to fix my mistakes in a span of milliseconds. While I type I use "Observe" every instance I can, throwing in a tiny burst to the overall amount of experience I gain.
I use my enhanced mind's passive ability to follow two trains of thought while I work. As far as anyone can tell I'm diligently doing my job, but in actuality I'm exploring my system. Through passive, almost imperceptible gestures, mostly due to how fast they are, I am messing around with my rather system.
I whittle away the hours I need to spend at my job doing this. During this time I get a few of my skills to level up a few times, thanks to my decision to faithfully and diligently hone some of my other abilities like "Observe". Eventually lunch rolls around and Amy sneaks up behind me so she can surprise me and draw me away from my work. I feign surprise when she reaches me up and taps on my shoulder, and this is a perfect chance for me to try something out.
I make small talk and I silently activate my ability to pause reality while I'm in the middle of a sentence. The world freezes around me and I get to see Amy freeze as she reacts to what I'm saying. I have a reason for doing this, it's all for the sake of experimenting with some of my more intriguing abilities.
I focus on Amy even as I interact with my system's UI and I activate my "Gacha" mechanic. In my mind's eye I can see a logo representing a capsule machine beginning to stir to life and spin some of the capsules containing various awards, and I think about two enormously powerful perks: "The Face" and "Silver Tongue".
These two charisma enhancing perks are incredibly valuable tools in my repertoire and I have yet to meaningfully use them. One of them, "Silver Tongue" is not as directly powerful as "The Face" but it offers me broad knowledge of psychology, enhances my charismatic intuition, and makes me incredibly attractive. The real powerhouse of a perk is "The Face". By focusing on people and thinking of something I want them to believe or persuade them to do I have a supernatural intuitive sense that allows me to know the best sort of argument I could make to achieve that goal. To test this I study Amy while wondering if there's any way for me to convince her to go on a date with me, and after a split second of thinking I begin to feel vague intuitive senses of what I could say and do that would make her see me as a potential romantic interest, and I know that doing that before I ask her out would guarantee success if I wanted her to go on a date with me.
I immediately shift tactics and try to see if I could persuade her to give me 100,000 dollars, and I am unsurprised when I do not gain any vague sensations about how to make that happen one way or another. "Worth a shot..." I tell myself, and if I could smile more I would. Both of these perks are strong, but I'm clever enough to recognize that they become even stronger when I add "Beautiful Mind" and "Well of Wisdom" to the mix. WoW is especially handy in a combination like this, since it allows me to pick and choose the most efficient route to my desired outcome. This is especially true if I mix it with my ability to pause time, since I can give myself breathing room and contemplate how to most skillfully word my arguments and present my positions.
The gacha machine, or some abstraction of one, in my head slows to a stop. When it does a symbol of a capsule pops out and I am delighted to see that I've won a mundane iPad like device, a handy thing I can use as a computer for the time being! This is quite handy, and I can see this particular mechanic becoming something life-saving in a moment of desperation with the right amount of luck. The decide immediately fills a slot in my inventory, and I make a mental note to pull it out and use it later.
I unpause time and over the course of the next few minutes I use my skills, mixing all of the aforementioned perks and functions of my gamer skills as Amy and I walk over to the cafeteria. It is only when we're sitting through the door into the cafeteria that I sense an opportunity to ask my friend something.
"Hey, do you want to try a soup I made? I like it but having a second opinion is always good." I remark, causing her eyes to brightly light up. I grin at her and we walk over to the same table we ate at yesterday. I hand her the small container I'm holding my soup in, and she looks at it. I see her inhale and watch as her eyes light up. We're the first of the people to arrive at our table so no one else sees this. The container I gave her also has some silverware which she uses to go ahead and take a sip of the soup. I am delighted when time freezes and I get a notification alerting me to the acquisition of a new class: that of a chef. I immediately equip it even as I click through the drawback that appears before me. This also confirms that at least in some cases what is needed for me to get a class is for me to do stuff in front of others or at least involve them in some way.
As time resumes I see Amy's face light up.
"This is delicious!" She states with a delighted and sincere grin. I light up as she tells me this and I lightly cheer. This is excellent news, and my acquisition of this class is very fascinating. When it comes to classes I have a unique ability to get them to "Prestige" once they reach a high enough level, and given my current build's focus on support, buffing, and healing, if I can master a class like that of a chef I can do a lot.
"I'm so happy you like it!" I exclaim, sincerely. It really does taste quite good, but my whole body is enhanced and I'm superhumanly sensitive to things like taste so there's no guarantee that what I taste will be what others taste. That said, cooking is an absolutely incredible skill so if I can master it... Well, I'll always be able to prove my worth in almost any situation involving other people. Cooking... is a cracked skill to have in real life.
Our friends join us and as they do Amy turns to them and hands one of the women the container. Mary looks at us quizzically and Amy pantomimes for her friend to try the soup. Mary's look of confusion only becomes more apparent, but she still dutifully does as she's been asked, using her own silverware to do so. Her eyes light up as well and I feel how much experience I have as a cook slowly increase, which brings a smug smile to my face.
"This is delicious! What is this?!" Mary asks, and I grin and point at me. She smiles, impressed, before handing it back to me.
"I made this soup last night. I liked it but I didn't know if I was going crazy or not." I remark, and that gets a laugh out of Amy.
"Well, if working at an office ever gets boring you could make a living as a chef. This is amazing!" She states, and I can hear the honesty in her voice. It's kind of nice how much she likes the stuff, and a part of me wouldn't mind making more food for her if she's gonna be this enthusiastic about what I give her to eat.
It's hard not for me not to beam at my companions in passive delight the whole time we're eating lunch. The lunchroom conversation is kept simple and we simply inform each other about upcoming plans and light gossip, all of which I've heard before thanks to my enhanced, and growing, senses. Super Sensory is a strong enough perk by default but because of my ability to expand every facet of myself, coupled with the universality of "Master of All" I am just passively growing in my ability to hear stuff. Seeing as I am uncapped I could see myself someday hearing every conversation in this building, almost certainly by the end of the year given how all of my growth is linked together and builds on each other.
Lunch comes and goes in a blur and in minutes I'm back in front of the computer. In front of the computer I'm a blur, my fingers strengthened by Lightning Quick and Speed Typist. I whittle away the hours diligently doing my job, distracting myself and minorly doing other things by making use of my dual trains of thought, and even when I overcome instances of "Buggy" every few minutes I still find myself grateful that I took the drawbacks I did. This work would be... less than fun otherwise. By the time my workday comes to an end and I find myself outside of the office I've filled out hundreds of forms and diligently pushed various skills of mine to new levels. Colleagues of mine are walking around me and also leaving the office. I casually pause time. making use of my pause ability again, and I begin to think of what to do and where to go next.
"I suppose now's as good a time as any to go and see about volunteering..." I eventually realize as I think about the various things I can do from here. I momentarily wonder where I should go to try and do that before I remember what I told Amy and the others yesterday about how I volunteered at a clinic. WIth Healer volunteering at a hospital would be good for me, even if I couldn't do as much good as I'd like too since I am not a doctor. I unpause time and smile as I reach into my pocket, use "Inventory" and retrieve my cellphone.
"Where is the nearest hospital?" I ask aloud, into the phone. Some of the people walking past me glance at me curiously and I smile sheepishly as my phone begins to tell me where to go. I begin to walk in the direction the phone indicates, happy to have a chance to begin to do some good.
The walk isn't terribly long. It turns out that the hospital is in a part of downtown that I didn't explore last night, and I reach it less than five minutes after I start walking, just in the opposite direction of where I was going before. The hospital isn't huge, which surprises me since I don't seem to be living in some small town but in a decently sized city. I walk into the main entrance and step into a large lobby where a decent amount of foot traffic seems to happen, judging from the footprints I can faintly see on the floor beneath me. I walk up to a receptionist desk and the man behind it doesn't bother looking up and instead taps the clipboard in front of him. I glance at it and laugh when I see that it's a standard questionnaire for people who are visiting a hospital for normal, health-related reasons. My reaction surprises the man, and to be fair it's definitely odd for someone in a hospital to laugh at the sight of a hospital questionnaire.
I am laughing at the questionnaire because it's amusing to think about the possibility of getting sick, I'm a gamer, and while normally that'd conjure images of nerds and geeks in my case it means that my health is protected. I have two very powerful perks/features that wildly mitigate the dangers of sicknesses: "Tough As Nails" which guarantees that it'd take something supernatural or almost supernatural to stand a chance of even slowing me down, and "Gamer Body". Gamer Body is interesting in this context since it gamifies negative conditions and allows me to, quite literally, sleep them off. Even something like losing a limb can be cured with a night of sleep thanks to my abilities which feels radically overpowered given how little it cost. I have other perks which further lower my odds of being negatively affected by sicknesses, such as "The Devil's Own Luck". I also have my magic, which includes spells that completely heal and purify the body, and would work on me just as readily as they'd work on other people.
"I'm actually here to learn how to volunteer? I'm new in town and I used to volunteer at a clinic in my home town so I wanted to see if I could volunteer here." I explain, which causes the guy to look up at me. When he does his eyes widen, and I smile awkwardly. I consider feigning ignorance, or perhaps innocence, but I know what's going on. He wasn't expecting me to look the way I look.
My new looks are something it is taking me a beat to get used to. I was only okay looking before, but now my looks are hyper idealized, and I am a conceptually handsome version of the very best I could have ever looked, and it is a bit jarring. It's more jarring for me, knowing that before I was an at best average-looking guy before coming to this world and gaining this new form. I allow the man a beat, before I clear my throat and the sound snaps him out of the daze he was in.
"Oh! Sorry, man, I just assumed you were sick. Umm... Yeah, let me give you a packet." The man says, before reaching under the desk in front of him. I smile lightly as he rummages around the interior of the space that separates us.
My powerful senses allow me to easily notice all sorts of stuff occurring around me. I can hear the vital processes in the bodies of the people closest to me, such as heartbeats and the smells of sweat, as well as other bodily fluids. Many of the people in this area of the hospital are sick, and truthfully if I could I'd heal them all.
One of my reasons for coming here today is to give myself a means by which I can help and heal people. This is, mildly, altruistic but more than anything else I want to master the power to heal people before I leave this setting. In the right setting, being a healer is absolutely a pivotal method of interacting with my environment and also getting allies, as well as staying alive.
The man eventually hands me a packet, along with a pen to use to fill out parts of it, and I smile at him as I take it. It is filled with information, including an application to fill out, and I thank him as I walk over to the waiting area and begin to fill it out. The questions are simple and ask for basic information about me. I fill it out, though a part of me is curious how this'll mesh with my drawbacks...
When I finish filling out the form I hand it to the man and he gratefully takes it. He explains that I'll be contacted by someone named "Ms. Jimenez" soon, and that she oversees the volunteer program. I delightedly thank him for that information and begin to head out of the hospital.
In minutes I'm part of the way home. I am a decently fast walker, though that's something I'd like to work on more in the days to come. The sun is quickly descending, and the moon is already visible in the night sky. I'm approaching the row of apartment buildings that include the building I live in. As I draw nearer and nearer to it I spot a lone homeless man sleeping next to one of the apartments. He is clearly asleep and my observation ability only confirms this. It also reveals that the man is sick, and when I glance at his hit points I see further confirmation of that, as he's down a few of them. I am walking towards him, and as I move I see a nice opportunity for me to try something.
I silently activate "Rogue", one of my more odd perks, and I feel my presence become much more subdued and difficult to notice. I approach the man, and I shut my eyes. As I walk towards him I allow myself to be guided by Super Sensory and only stop when I'm right in front of the man. I kneel and I focus on my spellbook icon, allowing me to see my list of spells. My senses allow me to be confident that the figure is still asleep when I gently move my hands so that they are in front of him. Time freezes as I gain a "Stealth" skill, and while time is frozen I swap my class and become a mage so I can gain valuable experience before I deactivate "Tutorial Sprite". I allow time to resume and smile as I trigger a spell for the first time, one of healing.
For me to activate the spell requires nothing more than for me to have enough magic points and an applicable target. This particular spell is my more advanced spell and it can work on all sorts of living targets. It is named "Intermediate heal" and the fact that I have it is a sign of one of my purchases; Healer. I feel my points of arcane energy be converted into sacred, restorative energy and I open my eyes in time to watch my hands begin to glow as energy leaves me and enters him. I look at his hit points and watch them begin to slowly increase even as I hit him with another instance of "Observe". I do so just in time to feel time freeze as new notifications appear in my mind's eye. One of the first notifications is that I have just earned experience for the "Mage" class, which becomes experience for everything thanks to Master of All, while another indicates that I've just unlocked a quest to become a healer! I study these notifications with a proud grin as this marks an important milestone in my journey. The fact that the class I want is locked behind a quest is interesting and I make a mental note to study the quest as I head home.
I unfreeze time, notice that the man is already visibly healthier, and turn to make my way back to my new home. It takes only about six minutes before I find myself stepping into my apartment. Now I can play with my new toy from earlier!

I am a teaching assistant. I’ve been 19 for a reasonably short amount of time. I work while taking community college courses, and have $11117 in my savings account from my job (was a sub, am now an assistant and have been one since January. Next month I receive a dollar raise, becoming an assistant means I work daily. I should have more saved after I’ve been paid through the end of this month.) I’m admittedly not positive that this is what I see myself doing for my entire life, but also don’t know what I want to major in and am partly here because it’s supposed to be a learning experience for me.
I have grown up in, and still live in, an area that has a very large white population (and a sizable population of one specific non-white ethnic group that is not black. I am from a place that has a low population of black people.) I am a black woman who is from a low income family, and have grown up in an apartment complex (my parents allow me to live with them and not pay rent, which is what has helped me save my money.) I look: https://www.instagram.com/p/C6IR_UzLjTM/?igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA== and https://www.instagram.com/p/C6z0F4bptE4/?igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA== and https://www.instagram.com/p/C6IW3nlLufV/?igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==
I have noticed, ever since graduating from high school, that I am no longer terribly attracted to white men. I pass average looking white men on the street, and there’s no attraction present. I have felt attraction toward average and above looking black men, particularly those who are dark skinned, although I felt very strong attraction toward a light skinned 1/2 black 1/2 white boy in my senior year of high school (had colored eyes and was commonly considered to be above average/conventionally attractive. I also had a crush on another mixed boy who was slightly above average as a freshman, yet average by the time he was a junior - I was no longer attracted to him after he became average, and also started to dislike him because he had criticized my physical appearance behind my back.) The non-black men I have been attracted to were Mexican/Latino, yet were typically above average (I occasionally feel attraction toward an average looking Mexican/Latino man. Occasionally.) I will admit that I am very specific about what I like. I have found Jake Gyllenhaal attractive (about two years ago I was wildly attracted to him when watching Donnie Darko,) and had a crush on David Bowie in middle school, but think I was more attracted to white men then than I am now. My only boyfriend, two years ago, was black, and was what I think of as average looking. The white men I have typically been attracted to have had blonde hair and blue eyes, but I don’t know why.
I’m introverted. I do have to interact with people because of the nature of my job, but I have no friends. Whenever I am not working, I generally watch television (as of right now, that has typically been “Laverne and Shirley” and “twilight zone” - I’ve actually been marathoning twilight zone every year since I was about 11 or 12 ever since my middle school science teacher turned on two episodes, “eye of the beholder” and “number 12 looks just like you” for our class. I’ve always wanted to introduce a group of youth to the series in that manner, because I remember that it actually got me hooked on the series.)
Black men in my area typically take out and prefer white women, or otherwise seem to be colorists. In high school, I remember that black boys specifically dating white girls was a “thing.” I don’t really tend to receive attention in my area, I have not received any attention this year. However, I also recall that the lighter skinned girls who looked mixed (1/2 black 1/2 white) didn’t struggle to date even if they were average, whereas it seemed that the darker skinned girls who weren’t above average were undeniably having a much harder time.
My mother was above average at some point in her life (always average without makeup, which is the case for most women,) average throughout my childhood because she gradually became overweight, and would now likely commonly be considered a little below average (in part due to things such as colorism yet also because she has always smoked cigarettes and has gained a lot of weight whilst never leaving the apartment so she is unhealthy looking now.)
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I am at a hopeless rock bottom right now and it isn't making any sense to anyone, so I am going to try here. It is going to be a long one, so please bare with me.
I grew up in a family where love was limited and conditional, for myself and between my parents. I had watched my parents beg each other for the minimal respect, change, and genuine love. I had too begged for those things from them, in which I eventually developed this disorder.
I have struggled with the obsession of love/true love/soulmates my entire life. I have had countless favorite people, in which I would have given ANYTHING to be reciprocated the kind of love I was willing to give.
And in all of these endeavors, I acknowledged I do not love correctly. I realized this when I got out of my first relationship when I was 18. I have dedicated the last few years to unlearning these things. I still struggle with the want to control, the games I want to play, the general pull and push. I have been trying.
I have acknowledged that what I envisioned love in my head is wrong. Love isn't the constant fight for reassurance or the constant proving myself as worthy. It isn't the begging, fighting, or the challenge.
I have told myself for years, love is in the little things. Love is learning a song on the guitar cause they would love it, memorizing their order so you can surprise them, or bringing a jacket cause you know they would forget one. Love is the small laughs over inside jokes, the loud laughs over little fails, and the shared memories that were created on accident.
Love was supposed to be in the little things.
But over the last few months, I have been shown a dark side of it.
I was on a work trip.
One of my supervisors gave long speeches at dinner about his fiancé and how their wedding in June is going to be the best day of his life. That same night, we went out for a few drinks. He proceeded to send a few other girls and I messages about "spending the night with him." He went on the next day like it was a usual occurrence for him.
I was utterly disgusted. My gut sat in my stomach for days.
Another one of my supervisors on this trip did something some what similar. He is "happily" married to his wife of 17 years with young daughters. But as happy as this man is at home, he hit on every waitress, took up countless numbers, and would disappear for days at a time.
Again I was disgusted. I could've easily said this was the work of nasty people, but it got worse...
Once again, on this trip... one of my dear friends/coworker spoke about his plans to propose to his 5 year girlfriend. We were all beyond happy for him. But within the night, he made a closer relationship with another one of our close friends. He started confiding in her of his doubts, how he is not happy, and he doesn't know what else to do, but marry her anyway. He then dedicated the rest of this two week long work trip to his new found interest in his friend. He gave her a sweet little nick name, held her hand, and walked her to and from everywhere they went.
I was very dumbfounded by this information. I was under the impression that they were happy at home and that they had found something people prayed for, but I was wrong.
When I returned home, I received some also unsettling news.
One of my best friends found out she was pregnant by her boyfriend (who is a very very close friend of mine as well). I have known her boyfriend and his family for 10 years, they have been incredible and wonderful people to me and everyone I know. So for the last 7 months, I have watched them prepare for this baby. They are building a house together along with a life and family. She was so excited. But as of last week, she informed me of him entertaining random women online. She said he described it as a thing that didn't happen before and he did not know who she was.
But Saturday, her and I sat down and talked a lot about it. Turns out, he lied again. He had been seeing these women their ENTIRE relationship. They are having a baby and he is out there with "random women" who he has been seeing for years.
I thought I knew him better, but I am incredibly disappointed. This particular event has triggered me beyond belief. I had watched them do my healthier version of love for a long time, only to find out it was one sided.
I began to look at all the long term relationships that have been shown to me in my life. My parents, never have been happy. My aunt and uncle who have been together since they were 14, have one conversation a day about the coffee machine. My friends from high school, who went literal years of break ups and cheating to now hitting 6 years. My friends parents, who have cheated divorced and remarried several times. My other friends parents, who have been on the verge of divorce over small things several times. And now all of these...
I struggle with what is real and what is not. I struggle with trust, intimacy, and connection. But I have been trying to get better with the hope that one day I can be good to someone and they be good to me. I have never cared about money, a nice car, nor a large house. I want to love and be loved and raise a happy family in the healthiest way I can. All in the hopes that i can experience love in the little things, like how I imagined real love to look.
Now I don't know what love looks like. All of my ideas have been disproven. My dreams have been crushed. I am fighting the urge to recluse and regress in all of my efforts in vulnerability, but I am distraught.
I feel like love romantic love is not real anymore.
I am honestly taking this more towards men than women, because of my sexual orientation and just from personal trauma, but I know that I am not supposed to do that.
I am turning away from a connection I have been trying hard to sustain and be healthy in, all because I am triggered by the actions of other men, my fears, and my new found hopelessness in love.
And everyone I talk to says this quote I have heard a million times, "I know love exists because of the love I give." I understand that love is real, logically, but i want to experience it. I want to know what it feels like to love and be loved, equally and truly.
But is the pain and dishonesty truly worth it? Is it something I would have to put up with to experience long term?
How do I even begin to when given this example of modern day "commitment."
What do I do? Before I ruin the connection I am building. How do I let go of the fear of being hurt so I can learn to love?

She used to be NYC based but looks like she moved to LA and is in a publicly open relationship now. All of her High Value Women content was about how to keep a rich man but it seems like the missing piece is to see other people.
Back in April my friend and I were visiting LA and went to dinner at Tao in Hollywood. We recognized Sahar when she walked in because we both followed her on TikTok before the ~baby with another woman~ news broke and we realized she wasn’t living the values she put out on social media. She was having a VERY romantic dinner with a woman. They were all over each other and kissing on each other. It was in no way just friendly. I was happy to see her moved on from the man who had a baby on her!
That's when I saw all her profiles were back on public settings and I saw that she had posted this girl (who appears to be British and has a large IG following) on her IG story multiple times. I forgot about that night until yesterday she popped up on my fyp and I saw that she's back on TikTok making advice videos, so I look at her IG profile again and she's still posting her man! And it's definitely the same one who had a baby on her and then proposed...
It looks like their relationship is publicly open, so maybe her man wasn't cheating when he got someone else pregnant and that's why she hasn't addressed it?

“ Your husband mirrors how you cherish yourself, what you already give to yourself.
It’s so important that you tell him how you want him to cherish yourself for you.
When you’re angry, what do you want him to understand ? what do you want him to do for you ?
What do you feel as you’re cherished by your husband ?
What do you feel like your joy and your gladness and your happiness ?
Your husband won’t know what helps you and what makes you happy more and what liberates you more while you don’t tell him your feelings honestly.
To understand you yourself is necessary for telling him your feelings.
You need to understand why you’re angry for telling him your feelings.
Have you built trust relationship to one another for telling him your feelings that you’ve written below on reddit, even it's a little comment for you ? "
I’m sharing my messages with you through reading this message below.
" I (F ●) am almost at my breaking point after my husband (M ●) walked in a room and asked "what have you been doing for the last 20 minutes” while I’ve been working my ass off. How do I convey the severity of my feelings? " from relationship_advice on reddit ( I don’t write the age for protecting your personal information. )
Me (●f) and my husband (●m)have been married for two years and just had our first child, who is 11 weeks old. With a newborn, there’s a LOT more work to be done around the house than before, and I’ve had a difficult recovery from birth. We've gotten into a routine at night where he feeds the baby her last bottle and puts her to bed, because he's at work all day and doesn't get to spend time with her.
Typically, while he does that, I start the dishes and clean up. Tonight, I decided to throw in a load of laundry, clean up our car, pick up the living room, and hand-scrub a piece of clothing that had formula spilled all over it rather than starting the dishes. I consciously made this decision because my husband actually knows how to do the dishes, as opposed to a lot of the miscellaneous things that need to be done around the house that he’s largely blind to.
Husband came out after spending about 15 minutes feeding the baby and asked me "what I had been doing for the past 20 minutes" once he saw the dishes hadn't been done. I flipped out, because I'm exhausted and burnt out. He insists he asked because he "was just curious" and doesn't understand why I'm so angry. Am I overreacting? To me, the question does not seem innocent and makes me feel like he doesn't appreciate everything that I do. It also makes me feel like I don’t have the space or “allowance” to relax if, god forbid, I needed a break, even though I WAS cleaning.
He has asked me this question many times before, to the point where l've started making mental lists of things I accomplish in case he asks. Also, I am not a stay at home mom, i have a high-intensity and demanding job and am returning from maternity leave in a few weeks.
I am almost at a breaking point. My husband used to treat me like a princess, especially when I was pregnant. Now, I feel like he has no appreciation for me or how hard this has been. How do I convey the severity of this without it seeming like I’m making a huge deal out of a little comment?
TLDR: my husband asked me “what I’ve been doing for the past 20 minutes” after I had been working my ass off and it’s almost got me to my breaking point.
『 Me (●f) and my husband (●m)have been married for two years and just had our first child, who is 11 weeks old. With a newborn, there’s a LOT more work to be done around the house than before, and I’ve had a difficult recovery from birth. We've gotten into a routine at night where he feeds the baby her last bottle and puts her to bed, because he's at work all day and doesn't get to spend time with her. 』
【My view】; I stay considerate of your feelings that you’ve had a difficult recovery from birth, I understand there’s a lot more work to be done the house than before. You’ve done your best for your child and him and you. You’ve gotten into a routine at night where he feeds the baby her last bottle and puts her to bed, what he helps you is good even it’s a little for you, although his help won’t be enough for you who have too much and reach your breaking point.
『 Typically, while he does that, I start the dishes and clean up. Tonight, I decided to throw in a load of laundry, clean up our car, pick up the living room, and hand-scrub a piece of clothing that had formula spilled all over it rather than starting the dishes. I consciously made this decision because my husband actually knows how to do the dishes, as opposed to a lot of the miscellaneous things that need to be done around the house that he’s largely blind to. 』
【My view】; It’s so important that you tell him what your mind is too busy focusing on that you throw in a load of laundry, clean up our car, pick up the living room, and hand-scrub a piece of clothing that had formula spilled all over it, because he won’t know what your mind is too busy focusing on that.
Did you tell him what you want him to do the dishes ?
Did you ask him for his help to do the dishes ?
He won’t know what you want him to help until you ask him for help to do the dishes ?
You need to tell him a lot of the miscellaneous things that need to be done around the house even he’s largely blind to, it’s so important to make your effort for keeping telling him until he understands what you need his help.
He won’t know that, so he will ask you, “ What have you been doing for the last 20 minutes ? “
He won’t know what to do even he wants to help you.
A man is different from a woman.
In more deep words, a man’s brain is different from a woman’s brain.
A woman will understand your feelings and a lot of the miscellaneous things that need to be done around the house even you don’t say that, but a man can’t do it, he won’t be able to understand what you guess he will understand even you don’t say to him, he won’t be able to understand what you guess he will notice what to do through your actions even you don’t ask him for help.
Your husband, how to take the things for him differ from you, how to take the things for you. You will be able to decrease feeling your anger if you notice a difference between you and him.
To notice what he doesn’t know until you ask him for help and you tell him your feelings will liberate you a little from your anger.
『 Husband came out after spending about 15 minutes feeding the baby and asked me "what I had been doing for the past 20 minutes" once he saw the dishes hadn't been done. I flipped out, because I'm exhausted and burnt out. He insists he asked because he "was just curious" and doesn't understand why I'm so angry. Am I overreacting? To me, the question does not seem innocent and makes me feel like he doesn't appreciate everything that I do. It also makes me feel like I don’t have the space or “allowance” to relax if, god forbid, I needed a break, even though I WAS cleaning. 』
【My view】; Did you want him to do the dishes ?
Did you tell him what you want him to do the dishes and did you ask him for help to do the dishes ?
He won’t know what to do until you ask him for help to do the dishes, so he will ask you such question. A man, he can’t notice what to do while you don’t tell him what you want him to do.
Do you understand why you’re angry ?
He won't understand why you're angry while you don't understand what makes you feel anger and you don't tell him that.
Do you share what makes you feel anger more deeply with him ?
What you’re angry will mean you do too much at your breaking point, you believe you have to do too much and you try to do what you can do and what you have to do until you’re exhausted and burnt out. He won’t know what you do until you’re exhausted and burnt out, so he won’t understand why you’re angry.
Do you ask him for help regarding what you can do, too ?
Do you ask him for help regarding what you have to do ?
His question won’t have what saddens you, because a man and he consider what they don’t do as trust until you ask them for help and you tell him what you want him to do. Even you’re angry through his question, his question will hide his real feelings which he wants to help you but he doesn’t know what to do, he won’t notice that even him.
The actions of a man have love, but the words of a man don’t have the meaning deeply, a man doesn’t say a real feeling more than women think, a man doesn’t notice a real feeling even a man.
What you feel through his question mirrors yourself, what you already believe, what you already give to yourself.
You have already your answer within your inside through his question.
Regarding “ to you, the question does not seem innocent and makes you feel like he doesn’t appreciate everything that you do. “, what you feel mirrors yourself. What makes you feel like he doesn’t appreciate everything that you do mirrors that you don’t appreciate everything that you do.
While you feel what you want him to appreciate everything that you do, you need to give you that and to tell him that.
It’s so important that you appreciate everything that you do, you appreciate yourself who do everything. That means the relationship between you and yourself, mirrors what you give to yourself.
Your evaluation you already give to yourself will link with your work which you have a high-intensity and demanding job.
In my counselling, you will get what you give to yourself more deeply for appreciating you unconditionally.
『 He has asked me this question many times before, to the point where l've started making mental lists of things I accomplish in case he asks. Also, I am not a stay at home mom, i have a high-intensity and demanding job and am returning from maternity leave in a few weeks. 』
【My view】; Do you share mental lists of things you accomplish with him ?
What is mental lists of things you accomplish with him ?
You’re almost at your breaking point, so you need to ask him more for help and you need to choose your actions you’re not exhausted, it’s so important that you don’t try to do too much and you trust him and you take his help for you.
What you do too much until you’re exhausted and burnt out, restrains what he wants to help you and you take his help, makes you feel anger.
You need to face what you already give to your inside through his question, to let go that.
『 I am almost at a breaking point. My husband used to treat me like a princess, especially when I was pregnant. Now, I feel like he has no appreciation for me or how hard this has been. How do I convey the severity of this without it seeming like I’m making a huge deal out of a little comment? 』
【My view】; Your husband mirrors how you cherish yourself, you need to tell him how you cherish yourself until he understands that.
What you feel like he has no appreciation for you mirrors you have no appreciation for you, what you don’t appreciate yourself.
What you don’t appreciate yourself makes you feel like he has no appreciation for you.
You feel what you already give to yourself through his actions and his questions.
You need to give you what you want him to do.
While you feel he doesn’t understand how hard this has been, it’s so important that you tell him how hard this has been for you until he understands it.
Although you write how you convey the severity of your feelings without it seeming like you’re making a huge deal out of a little comment, what do you think about your relationship you hesitate how to convey even a little comment ?
I understand that you guess how he also thinks you while you're worry about his evaluation and how he thinks you through conveying your feelings with a little comment.
While you’re worry about that, how have you built trust between you and your husband ?
I understand you’re worry how he takes through conveying your feelings with a little comment, do you fear to hurt him and to be disliked by him or to be unloved by him through conveying your feelings with a little comment ?
A man is different from a woman.
As the nature of a man, he doesn’t think how he thinks you.
He’s worry about helping what makes you happy, so you don’t have to be worried how he thinks you through conveying your feelings with a little comment.
It’s so important that you keep sharing your feelings and a little comment more honestly with him for you until he understands that and you take his help.
Even you feel like you’re making a huge deal out of a little comment, you’re almost at your breaking point, so it’s not a little comment for you, what he has his views you fear as the same with you is not necessary.
Even a little comment, telling him your feelings and a little comment will grow trust between you and him more deeply strongly..
About some points for conveying your feelings

• Why you’re angry, you need to notice your real feelings you feel anger.
• What you want him to help.
• What he does as you’re not exhausted.
• What you want him to do as you’re not exhausted.
• What you feel like you’re cherished by him.
• How do you want him to cherish yourself ?,
• You notice what you’re glad and you’re happy, what you’re at your breaking point.

In my counselling,

• You will find the root of your anger more deeply.
• You will get more deeply that you tell him what you want him to help.
• You will get what you take his help happily.
• You will get what you build trust between you and him without fearing his evaluations how he thinks you even when you tell him a little comment.
• To find what you learn through your husband will liberate you from his evaluations and your evaluations, you will find what you learn.
• You will get what you give to yourself more deeply for appreciating you unconditionally.

Guidance for getting my counselling
Regarding my counselling
【Pricing plans of E-mail counselling】

• 8,000 Yen per 2 times；You can get my counselling twice about your sufferings and your worries.

1. You talk to me about your sufferings and your worries.
2. I answer about that, I will share with you if I give you your work.
3. You question me more if you have another questions. You talk to me through experiencing your work I give.
4. I answer about that.

• 20,000 Yen per 1 month

1. There’s no limit to the number of times you can get my counselling for a month.

※ It won’t be easy to change your habit of your thoughts and your actions so far for you through once counselling, it will take time to get a new habit and keep to get it for you, so it will take time more than two plans for getting a new habit and keeping to get it in your case.
※ Price, given in Japanese yen, differs depending on exchange rate against your local currency. Make some adjustment, as a result, money you send will be a little over your calculation. Fee for sending money is yours.
I recommend you to use “ Wise ” regarding Procedure of remittance ( sending money ) because fee for sending money is lower rather than others.
For procedure of remittance ( sending money ), you need my mail address and the registration of Wise. Registration fee for Wise has no charge. I’ll send my mail address to your mail address.
After my confirmation of your payment, you can get my counselling of E-mail.
by Orga Mitsuki

Hey Everyone - I figured I'd share about my group since there are quite a few posts with people looking... and maybe it'll help!! ♥ ~~ Girlfriendz is a nontoxic & LGBTQIA+ friendly community with zero tolerance for drama. 💜 We're an inclusive group with a large women-only section & another opt-in-only section for others looking for a safe space.
If you're looking for somewhere where you can be you, but haven't felt comfortable elsewhere, maybe our little safe space can be yours too.
All are invited to a safe place to chat, play, and hang. We have people from ages 18-50+. Most members are US or EU, but we are worldwide. 😄 We started in April 2019, but we have a 'new members' channel to help you get acquainted with new members like yourself.
Channels are sorted by category (girl talk, chit chat, gaming) and include memes, fanfics, relationships, venting, pets, lfg, art, foodies, movies, and many others!
Most active games: Helldivers 2, The Finals, Dead by Daylight, Fall Guys, and Stardew Valley. We play a variety of games and have genre specific channels, including WoW, Lethal Company, Fortnite, The Sims, Palworld, party games, shooters, and MANY more.
We also have a game tag selection channel to find people to play with better.
Please add me on discord or DM for more info or an invitation @ LauraSaxx
Thank you! 💜💙

I am a teaching assistant. I’ve been 19 for a reasonably short amount of time. I work while taking community college courses, and have $11117 in my savings account from my job (was a sub, am now an assistant and have been one since January. Next month I receive a dollar raise, becoming an assistant means I work daily. I should have more saved after I’ve been paid through the end of this month.) I’m admittedly not positive that this is what I see myself doing for my entire life, but also don’t know what I want to major in and am partly here because it’s supposed to be a learning experience for me.
I have grown up in, and still live in, an area that has a very large white population (and a sizable population of one specific non-white ethnic group that is not black. I am from a place that has a low population of black people.) I am a black woman who is from a low income family, and have grown up in an apartment complex (my parents allow me to live with them and not pay rent, which is what has helped me save my money.) I look: https://www.instagram.com/p/C6IR_UzLjTM/?igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA== and https://www.instagram.com/p/C6z0F4bptE4/?igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA== and https://www.instagram.com/p/C6IW3nlLufV/?igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==
I have noticed, ever since graduating from high school, that I am no longer terribly attracted to white men. I pass average looking white men on the street, and there’s no attraction present. I have felt attraction toward average and above looking black men, particularly those who are dark skinned, although I felt very strong attraction toward a light skinned 1/2 black 1/2 white boy in my senior year of high school (had colored eyes and was commonly considered to be above average/conventionally attractive. I also had a crush on another mixed boy who was slightly above average as a freshman, yet average by the time he was a junior - I was no longer attracted to him after he became average, and also started to dislike him because he had criticized my physical appearance behind my back.) The non-black men I have been attracted to were Mexican/Latino, yet were typically above average (I occasionally feel attraction toward an average looking Mexican/Latino man. Occasionally.) I will admit that I am very specific about what I like. I have found Jake Gyllenhaal attractive (about two years ago I was wildly attracted to him when watching Donnie Darko,) and had a crush on David Bowie in middle school, but think I was more attracted to white men then than I am now. My only boyfriend, two years ago, was black, and was what I think of as average looking. The white men I have typically been attracted to have had blonde hair and blue eyes, but I don’t know why.
I’m introverted. I do have to interact with people because of the nature of my job, but I have no friends. Whenever I am not working, I generally watch television (as of right now, that has typically been “Laverne and Shirley” and “twilight zone” - I’ve actually been marathoning twilight zone every year since I was about 11 or 12 ever since my middle school science teacher turned on two episodes, “eye of the beholder” and “number 12 looks just like you” for our class. I’ve always wanted to introduce a group of youth to the series in that manner, because I remember that it actually got me hooked on the series.)
Black men in my area typically take out and prefer white women, or otherwise seem to be colorists. In high school, I remember that black boys specifically dating white girls was a “thing.” I don’t really tend to receive attention in my area, I have not received any attention this year.
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PC

Reddit Account: Satisfactionleather7
Discord Tag: CertifiedEveSimp
Name and House: Valarr velaryon
Age: 48
Cultural Group: Valyrian
Appearance: A tall man, but not a large man, standing at six feet, with thick arms and a firm stance, one would expect him to be the visaghe of strength, but more often than not, his bright clothes and feathered hat are simply covering for his drunken state and constant wide smile, though his rugged handsomeness helps.
Trait: Strong
Skill(s): Swords, Essosi Blademaster (e), Dual Wielding, daggers
Talent(s): Singing, Sailing, gambling
Negative Trait(s):
Starting Title(s): Lord of Driftmark, Lord of the Tides, Master of Ships
Starting Location: Opening Event
Alternate Characters: n/a
​

AC

Name and House: Raya Stark
Age: 45
Cultural Group: First Man
Appearance: Marked by slight lines of age, the lady Stark has tanned at sea, her freckles now less pronounced, but her beauty holding strong just as her sense of fashion and love for hats has done the same. Dressed usually in darker tones than her husband, she is still a woman who looks fresh from sea no matter the occasion.
Trait: Mariner
Skill(s): Admiral (e), scrutinous
Talent(s): Sailing, Singing, Caligraphy
Negative Trait(s):
Starting Title(s): Lady of Driftmark
Starting Location: Opening Event
Alternate Characters: n/a
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Timeline

23 BCE - Valarr Velaryon is born on Driftmark to a cousin of the existing lords of driftmark under Daemon Velaryon. He is never expected to find any power of his own.
20 BCE - Raya Stark is born, a cousin to Torrhen Stark, the king in the North and soon to be the Kneeler. It was said that the first thing she did when she was given the ability to crawl, was to attempt to climb into a bath on her own.
15 BCE - Valarr, at age eight, is brought on his first voyage by his father. The young Valarr is taken on a trading trip to Braavos with his father and the young boy soon becomes enamored with the concept of the sea and the beauty of the world. Beginning his love for travel and sailing.
12 BCE - In White Harbour, where Raya's family had moved, she too takes her first voyage, alongside her father, the tomboyish girl leaves the city and learns ship and sail on a voyage to Duskendale and then Oldtown.
9 BCE - Valarr, now 14, an experienced sailor and well-trained in the sword begins charting his own small trips from Driftmark to trade partners on Westeros. These voyages are only of a few days at best, but largely they are of great success and the man begins building up a regular crew of men and women to serve on his vessels.
7 BCE - Across the sea, Raya Stark begins working with her own small scale shipping adventures, sailing along the coast of the North and down to Gulltown, also in the process she finds herself carrying out anti-piracy actions for her cousin... or rather she is upon the ships that do so and she rambunctiously states she is in fact leading the party. The sailors with her humour her.
5 BCE - Valarr Velaryon begins travelling through Essos. He spends three years moving about through Essos, this first voyage largely spent travelling between Driftmark and the Free cities, fighting in Braavos, Pentos and Tyrosh specifically, but come his latest return home in 3 BCE, he is given word of Aegon's plans for Westeros. Daemon recruits him to fight in the war, and act as a captain in the Velaryon fleet.
2 BCE - Daemon Velaryon sends Valarr north to White harbour to negotiate with the Starks and bring them into the kingdom peacefully, but he is shut out quickly and instead spends time in White Harbour assessing the fleet of the manderlys. There he meets Raya Stark while he competes in a smaller tourney. The two quickly fall in love, and marry. Valarr then returns home to Driftmark with his new wife, and later that year his first son is born.
1 BCE - Valarr deploys to the mainland to fight in the field for Aegon, doing battle under numerous engagements and distinguishing himself well. Meanwhile, his wife Raya takes to her new home well, and leads a small detachment of the Velaryon fleet in battle.
1 AC - Valarr, upon his duty in the war finishing, takes his wife with him back to Essos, and for the next several years he travels the continent proper, his wife and his growing family accompanying him and at times being left back on Driftmark. At times being raised at sea on his travels, at others in Essos.
3 AC - Rhaegal Velaryon, the second son, is born.
4 AC - Valarr, while travelling in Essos, meets a man with a mysterious black Arakh. Over drinks they speak and the man reveals its history to him as some ritual required for a new owner to claim the weapon. Having bested the man in an arena the day before, the man requests a duel to give over the weapon. In the fight, the stranger is wounded, but Valarr no less takes him to receive healing. The man passess on his sword, and Valarr comes into possession of a black sword by the name of
5 AC - Laena Velaryon, his first daughter is born.
6 AC - Viserra Velaryon, the youngest child is born.
7-14 AC - Valarr's adventures in Essos continue and continue to bring him great renown and wealth in the East through adventuring and selling his sword and ship to the highest bidder. However, during this period, he visits Asshai and for fun seeks to have his fortune read. In doing so, a masked figure tells him that he must return to his home, for "the seahorse shall burn seven years after the dragon drowns." At first he does not find any logic to it, and then he hears of the death of Aegon by a Riverlander plot. And for years he contemplates the words, eventually choosing to return home to Driftmark.
15 AC - The kingswood catastrophe wipes out the line of Daemon Velaryon, and when the next Velaryon was needed, Valarr was there on the island and was elevated to be the new lord of the tides from his new keep on Driftmark, High Tide.
16-24 AC - Between the years of 16-24 AC, Valarr's travels east slow down, and he begins to spend more time in King's landing and Driftmark, namely he takes a liking to hosting tourneys on the island regularly, and enjoys the betting and the sport that it brings, competing himself numerous times.
20 AC - Partakes in the Eastern Wooing.
23 AC - Raya Stark negotiates Laena Velaryon marrying Maelor Velaryon's firstborn son. Laena is forced to break off a romance with Dickon bracken, though she knew their romance was doomed already.
--
Family Tree
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NPCS
Laena Velaryon - master at arms.
Maegor Velaryon - Ship Captain

I am a teaching assistant. I’ve been 19 for a reasonably short amount of time. I work while taking community college courses, and have $11117 in my savings account from my job (was a sub, am now an assistant and have been one since January. Next month I receive a dollar raise, becoming an assistant means I work daily. I should have more saved after I’ve been paid through the end of this month.) I’m admittedly not positive that this is what I see myself doing for my entire life, but also don’t know what I want to major in and am partly here because it’s supposed to be a learning experience for me.
I have grown up in, and still live in, an area that has a very large white population (and a sizable population of one specific non-white ethnic group that is not black. I am from a place that has a low population of black people.) I am a black woman who is from a low income family, and have grown up in an apartment complex (my parents allow me to live with them and not pay rent, which is what has helped me save my money.) I look: https://www.instagram.com/p/C6IR_UzLjTM/?igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA== and https://www.instagram.com/p/C6z0F4bptE4/?igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA== and https://www.instagram.com/p/C6IW3nlLufV/?igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==
I have noticed, ever since graduating from high school, that I am no longer terribly attracted to white men. I pass average looking white men on the street, and there’s no attraction present. I have felt attraction toward average and above looking black men, particularly those who are dark skinned, although I felt very strong attraction toward a light skinned 1/2 black 1/2 white boy in my senior year of high school (had colored eyes and was commonly considered to be above average/conventionally attractive. I also had a crush on another mixed boy who was slightly above average as a freshman, yet average by the time he was a junior - I was no longer attracted to him after he became average, and also started to dislike him because he had criticized my physical appearance behind my back.) The non-black men I have been attracted to were Mexican/Latino, yet were typically above average (I occasionally feel attraction toward an average looking Mexican/Latino man. Occasionally.) I will admit that I am very specific about what I like. I have found Jake Gyllenhaal attractive (about two years ago I was wildly attracted to him when watching Donnie Darko,) and had a crush on David Bowie in middle school, but think I was more attracted to white men then than I am now. My only boyfriend, two years ago, was black, and was what I think of as average looking. The white men I have typically been attracted to have had blonde hair and blue eyes, but I don’t know why.
I’m introverted. I do have to interact with people because of the nature of my job, but I have no friends. Whenever I am not working, I generally watch television (as of right now, that has typically been “Laverne and Shirley” and “twilight zone” - I’ve actually been marathoning twilight zone every year since I was about 11 or 12 ever since my middle school science teacher turned on two episodes, “eye of the beholder” and “number 12 looks just like you” for our class. I’ve always wanted to introduce a group of youth to the series in that manner, because I remember that it actually got me hooked on the series.)
Black men in my area typically take out and prefer white women, or otherwise seem to be colorists. In high school, I remember that black boys specifically dating white girls was a “thing.” I don’t really tend to receive attention in my area, I have not received any attention this year.
View Poll