The Context:

Andrew Rea is a cook, YouTuber, and author better known as Babish, famous for his cooking series Binging with Babish.
Recently, it was announced that Babish will be introducing a paywall for some new content. In addition, old websites with previously-free content were shuttered.
Babish has also come under fire for his sponsorships, with particular criticism over his promotion of the video game Hogwarts Legacy, considering the recent controversial statements from the series’ author JK Rowling.
Our drama starts as Babish himself takes to the sub to issue an apology for the rollout of the changes, attempting to justify and lay out the reasoning behind them.
While many are receptive to his explanation and find it sincere, others are not so ready to accept…

The Drama:

One user defends the criticism:

TL;DR: you're getting a lot of criticsm for your shitty business decisions, so you're playing the mental health card to turn down the heat.
Look, I'm sorry you're going through a rough patch, and I'm sorry you've gone through the things you have. But forgive me if I find it hard to shed a tear for you.
You can't expect a huge outpouring of sympathy for your mental health, and then turn around and push Betterhelp and a crypto gambling game. Those are both products that prey on your audience's mental well-being. So we're supposed to care about your mental health but you don't give a fuck about ours? Explain that one to me. As for the paywall, I don't care that much, but it's shitty that you didn't tell people it was going up beforehand.

I’m not emotionally equipped to be a public figure.

Should have thought of that before making your face the logo of your company.

Do you enjoy being an awful person?
His struggles are fairly well documented, personally, well before any of this happened
Just take 12 seconds and consider maybe this was an oversight?
It’s not like he’s fucking Brad Pitt with a team of 87 managers and PR folks. I’m sure he’s got a manager, but do you really think he’s got the same pull as an a-list actor to catch every small failure?
He’s a fucking YouTuber - a great one, in my opinion, but a YouTuber nonetheless. Humans make mistakes when they don’t have 36 people checking every ounce of their work.
Give him a little grace and maybe give everyone in your life a little. It’s not all a conspiracy, sometimes people just fuck up.

Do you enjoy not reading my comment? Yes, his mental health struggles are well documented. That's why I acknowledged them.
I'm not talking about the paywall. I'm talking about how he wants everyone to care about his mental health, but has said absolutely nothing in regards to the shitty predatory sponsors. And I'm not talking about his shitty "sorry you feel that way" post on YouTube and taking the video down. He can't just say "sorry, mental health" while ignoring the harm he's helped cause by not being selective about who he takes money from.

Oh fuck off you miserable nerd, if you don’t like how he makes money, you don’t have to participate or consume the content.
If you’re going to keep being salty about this despite an apology and a way to access the old websites then I suggest you look inward.

Read my comment again, I'm not angry about the paywall.

Sure.

Read my fucking comment again, asswipe.

[Continued:]

Did you change it?
If not, I'll pass on reading your angry rantings again. Theu weren't worth the first read through.

No, I didn't. Because I already said it's not about the paywall, dipshit.

Theu weren't worth the first read through.

Still worth it enough for you to respond and be an asshole though, I guess.
Edit: get blocked, douche.

Paywall paywall paywall.
You are obsessed.

I feel so sorry for you content creator dick riders lol

[…]

You’re acting like he owes you something. He doesn’t. We live in a different world now where companies are just faceless businesses anymore, and a lot of the things we consume are the product of single people or small teams. As a result, individual proclivities and issues are part of the new normal. If you have an issue with it; unsubscribe.

Yeah, he owes ot to us not hawk predatory sponsors and then expect everyone to give him a hug when he has mental health issues. But fuck me, I guess. Maybe I should make a post about how I've been struggling with depression my entire life so this sub can forgive me for daring to not give him a hug and a kiss on the cheek for it.

live in a different world now where companies are just faceless businesses anymore

It's a real shame he built his company off of his character and used his own face as its logo.

If you have an issue with it; unsubscribe.

Believe me, I will. I guess I thought when he finally apologized for his shitty business practices that he'd actually apologize, instead of ignoring the sponsorship stuff all together. I thought he was better than this.

Others stand to defend Babish:

Great job folks. You bullied this nice dude who has given you hundreds of hours of free labor.

If were being real he saw the post on mildly infuriating and made a whole ass response, which is insecure as fuck .
Also this is a post where hes admitting hes at fault and yall are telling him “no” which is funny as shit.

It’s “insecure as fuck” to address widespread criticism openly and honestly?

one guy saying bad things about you shouldn’t make you wanna write out a giant reddit post defending yourself yeah.
Who needs to be liked THAT much?

Not one guy, it was widespread backlash on multiple subreddits and from like all his fans. It would have been ridiculous not to respond

Criticism over shitty business practices (shilling products designed to prey on the mental wellbeing of your audience and introducing paywalls with no notice) isn't the same as bullying.

I mean grow up. You have no right to his labor. None at all. Notice? What is this, you're upset about his terms of service? Lol.

Babish isn't gonna fuck you, bro.

"I have no point but I have a funny"

[Continued:]

What point could I make that wasn't already addressed in my response to this parasocial weiner?
Babish made some shitty business decisions, people criticized them. That's not bullying. When people complain about McDonald's discontinuing a menue item, you never see people say "stop bullying the CEO :(". So why is it suddenly bullying when criticism is directed at a YouTuber for their shitty business practices? Yes, Andrew is a person. But that doesn't mean he's immune to complaints just because some parasocial crybaby thinks telling a person to do better constitutes "bullying".

Except if you read the comments on some of the posts people absolutely went well beyond criticism of the business decision to personal insults and vitriol that could indeed accurately be described as “bullying”.

Fair enough, but they made a general comment about how this sub bullied him, not just a few shitheels who took it too far.
cool but that wasn't what the person you told to "grow up" was doing, so why don't you stop huffing your own farts for a minute

I didn’t tell anyone anything? What are you talking about?

whoops, thought you were the OP in this thread, not just a random interjection like me. I'm cutting down on caffeine and it is not making me smarter

[…]

he isn't doing it for "free" mate, he's running a for-profit business. yes bullying is wrong, but people complain about businesses all the time.
Free labour, minus his YouTube revenue, sponsorship revenue, merch revenue...
There's wanting to encourage civility, but let's not jerk each other off here.
Or let's. I mean. It's a Saturday night and I'm alone. I'm open to talk.
Grow some balls lol

The knives are out:

Dude you've been up your own ass for years. When you first started blowing up and dragging your videos out - I nicely suggested you stop adding 5 minutes to the beginning of every video showing us how to make bread. I told you having a separate "Bread with Babish" and telling viewers to reference that would be better. You basically said I was stupider than frog excrement and shouldn't think. Like what? Then a few months later Basics with Babish comes out. Go fuck yourself.

Bro has main character syndrome, thinking Babish personally spites him and only him.
In the nicest possible way, touch grass. Maybe even read your comment out loud and you might realise how ridiculous you sound.
You’ve been carrying this grudge for what, eight years? Touch some grass.

"touch grass" is so overused and trite it makes me want to tear off my dick

Another brings up Babish’s Hogwarts Legacy sponsorship:

Can we get an update on promoting the transphobic wizard game, and apparently deleting comments mentioning trans people on the video?

Imagine what a sad life you live if you’re that triggered by a video game. Literally don’t play it. Why do you care if others play it?

Because buying the game is basically saying "This mid wizards game is more important to me than human rights, fuck gay people, fuck trans people, kill em all, i dont give a shit lmao".

Seek help.

You should seek help if you dontate your money to making the lives of others worse intentionally and give 0 fucks about it.

[Continued:]

You are what is wrong with society. Again, it is advisable that you the seek the psychiatric help that you require. (By the way, it’s a great game).

Glad to know im whats wrong with society and not the scumbags who gave money to anti trans charities. Just know while you're playing it that trans people are living worse lives because of you.

The lil smart phone that ur using right now that relies on cobalt, which was mined by little kids like those in the DRC without protective gear so your phone could have a battery. Just know while you’re sitting here being a keyboard warrior that thousands, if not millions, of little kids’ lives are getting worse because of you.

a.) Im not on a phone and do not own a phone.
b.) Theres a difference because you NEED a computer of some sort to function well these days. You do not need the wizard game.
c.) Theres a difference between supporting a company like that where they try to hide it and keep it from the public and openly supporting someone who basically just comes out and says "Yo btw if you buy my game ill use the money to kill trans people, thanks"

[…]

Imagine being privileged enough for someone enjoying/promoting a Harry Potter game to be what gets ur panties in a twist. I get Rowling is a shit show, but be fucking for real 🤦🏻‍♀️ I’m sure your phone is a product of child slave labor and I’m sure you buy a lot of shit that promotes even more terrible things. Get off your high horse and stop crying over first world problems.

Im sorry its considered being on a high horse for wishing people didnt support a disgusting fucking transphobic monster thats hurting fuckloads of people. Its not even like other companies where its semi hidden and you have to look for it, she's blatantly and publicly a transphobic scumbag piece of human garbage. If you don't know any better, sure, but when people are buying the game with the specific intent to support transphobia or don't care that they're giving their money to someone who who's publicly transphobic and openly supports bigots and the hurting of people, you're transphobic and probably terrible.

People like you don’t actually help anything. All you do is piss off ordinary people and make them less likely to care about the trans community. You’re just bitter and you feel better about accomplishing nothing when you sling garbage comments at people. Grow up and do something that actually helps the community. Spewing vitriol and calling people transphobic is not helping.

Someone is transphobic Gets called transphobic Surprised Pikachu face
So you want me to stop calling transphobic people transphobic?
Id rather not help at all than actively hurt the community, ruin people's lives, and fund charities that fight to give people less rights. At least I fight for human decency and people's rights and don't donate to this shit.

I’ll rephrase. YOU ARE ACTIVELY HURTING THE COMMUNITY BY MAKING PEOPLE LESS LIKELY TO SUPPORT. Seriously, stop it. You’re not helping, you’re hurting. You’re not the face of the community, you’re just shouting in the comments at people who just want to watch a guys YouTube channel about food.
”He supports JK Rowling.” No he doesn’t. The game is a game. Cry all you want about what she said, the rest of the community has been ignoring her for years.
“She donates against trans acceptance”. Yes, and she would anyway even if the game didn’t get made. She was already rich after the books, it’s a pointless argument based solely on your principles and not on doing any good.
You keep calling people transphobic, but they are not. Buying a video game is not transphobic. You’re delusional and childish. This conversation is over, leave these people alone and spend time figuring your own shit out.

[Continued:]

I dont know in what universe giving more money to be donated to anti LGBT stuff is not transphobic. "Yeah i give money to charities that murder children but i dont support child murder". Sounds insane right? Thats what you're saying. That just because you're giving money to support making trans people's lives worse that you're not transphobic. You're being insane. "She'd support it anyways so who cares!" is the most insane argument i have ever read in my life holy shit. xD

Hopeless and stupid. You may as well go vote for Trump, you’ll fit right in. Honestly at this point I think you’re paid to make the trans community look bad, it makes more sense than whatever other insanity you want to keep blathering. I’m just gonna block you, like every other rational person.
You gave money to the company that made your smart phone and therefor you support child labor since the whole phone, or at least pieces of it, were made from child labor. You’re a disgusting human being….you see how fucking delusional you sound, bro?

One user taps out:

I’m glad you addressed it, but I had to leave. Best of luck to your future endeavors and I hope lessons were learned.

And yet, here you are
This isn’t the airport. You don’t have to announce your departure.

what an original comment, you are so smart and funny and original for having made such a thought provoking post. I hope you print this comment out and frame it so that your children will learn to appreciate what an original thinker their parent is. are you the person who invented "touch grass" as well? big fan of your work

lol I can only imagine how sad your life is that this is how you spend your time

if you think it is sad that I am here on reddit, doing reading and commenting, I have some terrible , alarming news for you.

[Continued:]

lol yea that’s definitely what I meant 😂

One user still has issues, despite the apology:

Any amount of warning that you were planning to paywall the site would have made it a lot more palatable of a change. Doing it without telling people felt shady at best and deceptive at worst.

Yeah, and this is an acknowledgment and an apology. Seems a little cruel to keep dragging him at this point.

I guess it starts with a halfhearted apology. There’s no explanation for why it was sprung without notice.
It’s “yeah whatever guess I should’ve told y’all but here’s some more stuff coming up that you can pay me for”

here's some more stuff coming up that you can pay me for

Ah, so you're one of those people who feels entitled to infinite free content from creators.

It’s weird to me how many people think YouTube content is free. YOU are the product. Free means no monetary exchanges. Do you think Andrew makes no money from YouTube? Do you think YouTube makes no money from you? His videos are not free.

[Continued:]

Wow you are REALLY fucking dumb huh?

No but apparently you are. How does Babish not get paid from YouTube? Is every video he posts “free labor”?

[…]

No I just don’t think this should be portrayed as an apology when it’s really just an advertisement

Maybe he can post again so you can still be mad for some fucking reason

A slapfight breaks out:

I’m sure you have good connections but if you want some fresh eyes on your script, id be down to give some coverage. Why am I being downvoted so heavily? As an aspiring writer myself, I know how hard it is to get feedback on a project. I’m a fan and offering my time and energy. I don’t get what the problem is. lol wtf is this sub? Comments insulting people getting upvotes in a thread about how negative comments have affected someone is wild work. Fuck me for being interested in Andrew as a writer.

Same vibes as the dude who asked Elon to run Tesla who was a nobody
get outta here man lol
Because you’re a nobody lmao

Holy shit, just read through your comments and god damn are you miserable hahah.

meanwhile you're scouring the profiles of people who upset you, looking for mud to sling

Someone calls me a nobody, I gotta go see what mighty status they got in the world to be shitting on others lol.
He literally thinks babish is gonna choose him or something but instead he attacks me 💀

[Continued:]

Looooool you’re gonna play victim??? Aint no fucking way lol. You insult and disrespectfully gatekeep and now you’re the one talking about being attacked hahahahahaha fuck all the way off with that nonsense.

The Flairs:

• “parasocial weiner”
  
• “why don't you stop huffing your own farts for a minute”
  
• “It's a Saturday night and I'm alone. I'm open to talk.”
  
• “Babish isn’t gonna suck you off lil bro”
  

First Prev Next Patreon Ko-fi Discord
PRs: u/anakist & u/BroDogIsMyName
- - - - -
It had been a few weeks since Altier was brought to the run-down shack that his black-scaled companion likely called home, and he could now comfortably say he was accustomed to the…household’s routine. The kobold typically left at the crack of dawn, returned a little after noon, and occasionally left again to forage until nightfall. When the weather was bad or there wasn’t a particular need for something, they half-heartedly chased their rabbit around for a bit, which usually ended with a bout of quiet petting while everyone got ready for the night. It was always amusing to see the energetic side of what he had come to know as a relatively lazy loaf of an animal. As for the routine of the ferrorabbit in question… Well…it was at least more interesting than expected.
Hoppit would begin his own series of activities as soon as his caretaker left—the first of which being a check of every nook and cranny in the shed. He sniffed at anything that caught his interest, varying from morning to morning, but he gave every object or corner its due attention. Once he was satisfied with that, he would eat some of the ragged plants that made up most of his diet, take a drink from his bowl, then jump onto the tro— table and plop himself down, his ears pivoting towards the door. It was hard to say if the lounging spot had been established before Altier’s arrival, but it was somewhat amusing to pretend that the little rabbit was standing guard over his core—if it wasn’t for one particular part of the morning ritual, that is.
Indeed, the ferrorabbit had a habit of licking the obsidian orb that sat in the middle of the room, which thankfully didn’t seem to perturb the system enough to give Altier a headache. He was confused when it first happened, but it was commonplace enough now that he barely acknowledged it. A part of him liked that he was getting attention as a core, even if it was delivered via a strange grooming method. The closest he got to being acknowledged as something other than ‘the dungeon’ was through an unfortunate misunderstanding that he could never properly rectify. He supposed that was hardly worth thinking about now, though; too much time had passed for there to be anyone left to correct. The little oddity of his mornings would have to suffice.
There wasn’t much to comment on as far as the rest of the day’s happenings. Hoppit would end his loafing by shaking his head and ears in a way that filled the silence with soft clacks, give the core a customary tongue bath, then jump off the table to nose his way out of the shed through a hole that was hidden by the storage cart against the wall. Where the rabbit went was anyone’s guess, but he always returned before anyone noticed he was gone, and often did so while covered in small cuts and scratches. Any blood from the lacerations was quickly licked off before it could be seen by the kobold, and in the event that the scaly caretaker happened to return earlier than expected, Hoppit would scurry over to the bundles of blankets to finish the cleanup in secret.
Today looked to be following the usual pattern. The kobold left bright and early with various gardening tools and a wooden pail, and Hoppit had since set off into the great unknown for one reason or another. Hopefully, he returned less injured than usual. It was frustrating to admit that Altier had begun to grow rather fond of the fluffy creature, and seeing the thing come back hurt was bothersome. Was it off looking for food? There wasn’t a whole lot given to it, so that was a possibility, and it could be getting into fights over whatever it found. That still didn’t explain why the animal was so thin, and Altier didn’t have enough to go off of to think of a potential solution. He wanted to help it in some way, like by summoning a creature to act as an escort, or maybe just by manifesting something edible like he once could. No, he could only stare at the ‘Synchronizing…’ that occupied his menu, wishing he had more information to work with.
He never thought he would miss the bombardment of notifications and their lingering presence that filled the edge of his mental vision; at least with that he could surmise enough to hazard some kind of action. Even knowing why the menu was acting the way it did would be a start. Yet, try as he might, there wasn’t a history for him to reference anymore, and he had nothing to work with. He was confident the last message had asked him to ‘accept’ something, then took his befuddled ponderance as an answer, but he was no closer to an explanation for what it wanted, nor why it prompted him in the first place. He just didn’t have another experience to compare against, since nothing like that had ever happened before. Not that he was ever in much of a position to allow it.
The entire purpose of having Altier inhabit a core was for him to become a dungeon of Decay, which entailed all the skeletons, poisons, acids, and whatever else came to mind when one pictured the concept. ‘Living’ creatures were something he only had the chance to experiment with near the beginning of his new existence, though he never dabbled past the first few insects before transitioning to the mindless undead. Having a thinking, feeling, breathing entity touch his core was a rite reserved only for the adventurers and soldiers that bested his trials, and that was usually a painful experience. Now, he had spent what he could only guess was hours being held by a kobold, followed by having a rabbit bump against him, and neither felt like what he came to expect. Instead, both had led to a completely novel reaction from the system. The strange circumstances put him at a bit of a loss as to what it all meant for him.
Sure, he could dismiss the deluge of errors from his companion’s involvement by pointing to the numerous ‘corrupted’ messages before it, and Hoppit was a part of mostly unexplored territory, but the lack of clarity nagged at the back of his mind constantly. Being exposed to activity after potential decades or centuries of unchanging solitude made him despise the informational dead end. If he couldn’t make sense of the rabbit’s circumstances, then he didn’t have much hope of deciphering the reason for why his system was misbehaving so terribly. He also didn't know much about the one who owned the decrepit holdings he was housed inside.
He still wasn’t sure what drove the kobold to take him from the cave. His suspicion of becoming traded goods fell flat after the first week or so, and he hadn’t noticed any cult-like behaviour, which was promising. Granted, a lack of nefarious behaviour didn’t mean there was a lack of nefarious intent, but he didn’t get the impression his companion held that either. The kobold itself didn’t seem quite settled on an opinion of his core, though it was up for debate if the hesitation was due to knowing what he was or not. They seemed to mull something over before bed each night, yet never reached a satisfactory conclusion, staring at the obsidian orb through weary grey eyes until they eventually forced themselves into sleep.
Whatever the underlying reasoning for his abduction was, he had observed enough to know that the kobold didn’t deserve to live in destitution. As beaten as the shed might be, they cared for it as best they could, and did so without a single groan or grimace of complaint. The floors were cleaned with a tattered rag and fresh water, dust was removed regularly, and any stray mess that Hoppit made was dealt with promptly. They even took the time to wipe off his core, which was possibly where the ferrorabbit got the idea to start licking him. The only time Altier had seen discontent from the kobold was when they didn’t find much during their foraging, and thus couldn’t give any treats to the excited and bouncy herbivore.
He wasn’t aware that a creature’s face could make such a painfully broken expression, and he was quick to decide that he never wanted to see it again.
Vexingly, his metaphorical hands were tied; a dungeon could only influence their Domain, and given the state of his system, not even that option was available to him. All he could do was glare at the rotting wooden beams that held up the roof and remember when such an issue didn’t exist. It would have taken a mere flicker of thought and a paltry sum of mana to mend the struts when he was a proper dungeon. He could even outright reinforce the structure by weaving in other materials, leaving the appearance as it was while making everything stronger than iron. Well, he once could. Working with other affinities was something that came to him after absorbing the coloured motes left behind by adventurers, and the accursed stone that stole his mana had taken that ability as well.
An attempt was made anyway, his will ordering the deteriorated wood to absorb any trace metals from the ground, but it was no use. He couldn’t feel the iron or stones beneath the shed like he would have been able to before, all but confirming his suspicion that his connection to the Earth element had slipped away. Nature was much the same; the only way he knew when Hoppit had returned most days was from the subtle noise and the essence of injury. The other attributes—Air, Flame, Luma, Shadow, and so on—were ones he never experimented with to any real extent, so it was less noticeable when he lost his grasp on them. Perhaps they faded early. Either way, all he had left was a waning cognizance of his own alignment, and that wasn’t of much use to him. If he had any appreciable mana income, then perhaps he could do something, but he wasn’t even sure what the upkeep of his current Domain might be. It was entirely possible that he was running on a deficit, which would offer a reason for why his system had been so—
[Do#$@n Ex@#d$%^&d! CRe@#r H-H-H-HoPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP—]
[Errrrrrr—]
[Sy$%^hroni%^$zing…]
[Creeee-tu— Hoppit ha@$ esttttb-hed terrrrrrr-ity f^#% t$e dun@&$n!]
- - - - -
“Well then,” he mumbled to himself, taking in the strange scene behind the shed. For one, he could actually view a small distance beyond the structure now, and two, there was a rather proud-looking Hoppit sitting on his haunches before a pair of significantly less prideful examples of the species. They looked quite a bit bigger than the lazy loaf Altier had come to know, yet they were more cut up and dejected than his furry friend. That answered where the injuries had been coming from, he supposed. Hoppit was probably running off to bash heads with whatever animal population existed here beforehand, and they had only just reached a consensus on who was in charge. Impressive.
One of Hoppit’s ears turned back towards the shed, his head following suit as he gave a lagomorph’s approximation of a ‘Look what I did!’ smile. Altier blanked out mentally, but didn’t have time to question anything before the new leader of the local rabbits imperiously pointed a paw towards the surrounding forest, which was equally surreal to witness. Most surprising of all, the…subordinates? The other ferrorabbits did as commanded, keeping their forms small as they took off into the foliage. Soft clacks came from Hoppit’s pleased shake of his head, then he too left the area with only a slightly lopsided bounce to his stride.
The man-turned-core could only gape at what he saw. Were animals always so…expressive? Had Hoppit heard him? What in the world was happening? Why had Hoppit’s personal conquest led to Altier’s Domain expanding?
He lamented not having fingers, nor temples to rub with them. His system was a garbled mess of errors and inconsistent messages, his residence was falling apart at the seams, his companion was someone who abducted him from the dungeon, yet never did anything past that, and his first real experience with an animal was turning out to be more confusing than he thought possible.
All of this was after an unknown amount of time spent commanding legions of undead to strengthen the very people who he would later learn had lied to and manipulated him, making him into a nightmarish entity just to bolster the power of their forces. He almost missed the days spent gazing out of a mossy window. At least then he knew what to expect.
Nothing made sense anymore.
= = = = =
The soft sound of roots ripping free from soil suddenly stopped, only to be followed by a dull thud of Ceele’s palm slapping against the ground to catch her fall before she landed on her rear. She righted herself with her tail and tossed the stubborn weed into a pile with the others. No matter how many mornings she did this, they always seemed to replace themselves faster than she could remove the pesky things. A sigh slipped from her muzzle as she set about grabbing the next one embedded in the vegetable garden.
Aches and spreading stiffness flared up, but went ignored as she neared the end of her duties, though she was well aware that they would come back with force once she tried to settle down for the day. The impending soreness was an inevitable byproduct of spending so much time working. Still, she knew that if it wasn’t for the kindly old couple that allowed her to call their shed home, she would still be sleeping beneath the stars while making sure nothing tried to get at her Hoppit. Even if it was just a part of the deal, they were owed this much in return, and she would see it done properly.
The sun bore down on her back as she did her usual tasks, which was a departure from the slightly overcast weather as of late. It looked somewhat promising when she checked in the wee hours of the morning, yet as her gardening duties dragged on, so too did the intensity of such a clear sky. A disappointed glance at the empty wooden bucket on the edge of the field was quickly corrected. She hadn’t thought to refill it at the river after watering the crops, and her parched throat was making its protests known, while also reminding her that there wasn’t much water left at home either. One more thing to take care of when she was done.
A gruff cough brought her attention towards the old kobold resting his back against a tree some distance away, safely shaded from the unforgiving rays beaming down. Her displeasure at having yet more to do was hastily wiped away. She was undecided on what to think of the detached audience, but looking so sour while upholding her side of the agreement wouldn’t reflect well on her. Hopefully, he hadn’t seen it. Not that she could tell if he did; he always had the same expression when he watched her work. The elder kobold’s arms were crossed, a finger tapping absently against his bicep, while his tail sat motionless on the grass, the muddy red colour of his scales standing out amongst the greens and browns. ‘Makis,’ was his name, assuming her memory served.
Makis had taken to observing her every so often, usually propping himself against this or that at a distance, the unwavering scowl being as unnerving as it was belying of his age. Somewhat loose skin sagged a bit around his jowls and neck, yet the rest of his face was still taut from how much time he spent examining red-hot metal, and his arms were marred with countless burns and cuts from his profession. He held an oppressive aura, though the crinkles around his eyes and muzzle suggested he smiled as frequently as he glowered, even if Ceele was yet to see the former. There was only the same judgmental expression aimed at her when he was around. She could only hope that he didn’t take offence to some unintended slight, but she didn’t know him well enough to say what might be considered one.
They hadn’t spoken since she took up residence on the outskirts of his land. His wife was the one to introduce them, but it was quickly established that he had no intention of being a chatty individual. He led Ceele to the shed hidden amongst the trees on the edge of the property, then dismissed her with only a grunt coming from the elderly kobold. She supposed that it was for the best. Her experience in socializing was centred around convincing others to employ her, and there hadn’t been much of an opportunity to expand her horizons while living a life on the road. If that had been the end of their interactions, she would have swiftly written the terseness off, but he appeared every few days, taking up residence beneath the shade as he watched her work, never speaking a single word. At least he didn’t openly protest her presence, yet she figured that would be easier to manage. He wouldn’t be such an enigma then.
There wasn’t a whole lot she knew about him besides his penchant for ‘supervision,’ and anything beyond that was what his wife had volunteered during the rare opportunity they had to chat. She was told that Makis worked the smithy out front, and although he had retired from doing so in an official capacity, she could still regularly hear his hammer as she tended to the garden, so she figured he kept himself busy most days. It made her wonder what was so interesting about a vagrant like herself, but when there was so little else to do, she could see how anything could be made worth the attention. It was just him and his wife living in the once bustling home, after all; the couple’s children had long since grown up and made families of their own.
She noticed his gaze shift elsewhere as she tugged yet another stubborn intruder from the soil, his arms falling from across his chest and the perpetually worn displeasure melting to that of curiosity. He wandered off shortly after, and she had to make an effort not to fall onto her tail as the pressure on her shoulders unexpectedly evaporated. Did something happen?
Ceele shook her head free of the distracting thought. It wasn’t her business if he grew bored with watching her work. As long as no one voiced any complaints, she could only assume that she was doing a satisfactory job. Maybe he finally decided that he didn’t need to be so watchful because she was doing well! That could be it, right?
A glance at the somewhat sloppily maintained garden erased the false confidence from her face, but she was just as quick to focus on finishing up, unwilling to allow darker musings to fester. Thankfully, there didn’t seem to be anything else that needed her intervention. The weeds were all uprooted, the soil was appropriately dampened, and her check for pesky insects or wildlife turned up nothing to worry about. She was free for the rest of the day!
…Or she would be free—as soon as she finished the last of her tasks, anyway.
The black-scaled kobold got up from her crouch unsteadily, shivering and wincing from the pins and needles in her legs. She would have to remember to stretch more often; it was far too easy to forgo that kind of thing just to make the overall work go slightly faster. Her hand reached out to grab the pile of weeds and put them into the bucket as she ran through what needed to be done before she could properly relax. Hoppit’s food needed to be washed, she needed to bathe, and they were running low on water anyway, so she would have to visit the river. Just the thought of dragging herself into the forest again made her muscles protest, but she wouldn’t have the energy to do it later. She forced the smile that had started to fall and took the first of many steps.
- - - - -
The river wasn’t too far away, only taking a few minutes of traipsing through the dense woodlands until she reached her destination. It was an idyllic little spot. The trees thinned out to allow a grassy bank along the water, and there was an appreciably gentle slope from shallows to depths, making for a convenient place to take care of various needs. She had discovered this place during her travels, and it was where a kind older woman found her.
Ceele was washing off at the time, with Hoppit safely taking shelter from the outside underneath the bundled blankets while he waited. The trickle of the stream brushing against rocks covered the sound of footsteps, so she was rather surprised when an aged voice called out to ask if she was okay. Her first reaction was to distance herself and apologize—the why didn’t matter, but she had learned that most people were more lenient of her presence if she seemed apologetic for it, and she usually was. The elderly kobold just laughed at her scrambling, tacking on an assurance that there was no need for modesty. The woman was blind, apparently, which explained how Ceele’s blackened colours hadn’t deterred her.
Strangely enough, there was a comforting sense of ease around the one who introduced herself as Hira. It was a sort of presence that Ceele could only vaguely remember, and it drew her close enough to speak as she finished bathing. The conversation wasn’t anything profound, of course—they hardly delved deeper than surface-level small talk—but Hira lost her smile as she listened to the younger kobold. By the end of it, the old woman posed a series of questions with a dark inflection to her voice, and Ceele struggled to find an answer.
‘Are you tired of looking for something that only slips away? Are you tired of running? Do you really want to be scared and alone?’
If the silence bothered Hira, then it didn’t show. She had simply held out a hand and offered Ceele a way of life that didn’t involve wondering where she would be spending the night, nor entailed cowering in the brush while fearsome predators roamed freely. It would be a simple existence of few fortunes, but it was safe, and it was honest. All she had to do was say yes.
Ceele denied it at first, partially because she knew most people despised Hobbit's species, and partially because she couldn’t shake the offer being too good to be true. Hira was quick to propose a compromise; Ceele could take residence in the gardening shed that had fallen from use, and to satiate the nagging sense of an unfair deal, she would be put in charge of maintaining the garden itself. All Hira wanted was to ‘see’ her favourite space bloom again, since she couldn’t take care of it anymore. The black-scaled kobold stared longingly at where Hoppit was, his little body shivering from the prolonged cold and fear that he would be hurt if he left the blankets hiding him. It was with a heavy guilt that she accepted Hira’s offer, keeping quiet about her true reason for doing so.
That was in the past, however, though she thought about it every time she stopped by and saw the smooth rocks where she and Hira first met. Eventually, she might gather the courage to admit that she was housing a ‘pest’ and beg for forgiveness. Until then, she would just work her hardest to prove it wasn’t a mistake to give her a home. That her endless efforts weren’t meaningless. That Hoppit deserved to be more than a ‘pest.’
That Ceele was more than something she had no control over being.
She cleared her head a bit and started on the reason she came all this way. Her dress was rather easy to wash in the meandering water, and the trees provided a suitable place for it to dry in the sunlight and light breeze. The weeds were fine with a thorough rinse near in the shallows, but taking care of her own hygiene required her to wade farther in, though it only came up to her chest in the middle of the rill. Still, she could scrub off the soil and grime, which was all she really needed. Perhaps some simple soaps would help rid her of the pervasive black that stained her skin and scales, but that was beyond her meagre means for the time being, as well as being mere wishful thinking.
She worked past the dreary mindset that settled in when she allowed it, focusing on how serene the river was. The soft birdsong from the trees helped make for a peaceful experience, and she could feel the somewhat chilled liquid basically pour into the aches and pains throughout her body, washing away the stiffness from spending so long under the unerring sun. It was nice to escape reality and let thoughts drift while held buoyant by calmer waters.
Yet the bliss was short-lived. Even if winter was gone, spring was still far from warming the waters enough for her to laze about for too long. She dragged herself from the soft current and fetched her dress from the low-lying branch she left it to dry on. It was still a touch damp, but it wasn’t anything a bit of time in front of the fireplace wouldn’t fix.
Ceele was only a short distance away from home when she heard a gravelly male voice, but it was the flicker of sight between the trees that made her drop what was in her arms and lunge into a sprint.
Makis stood just outside the gardening shed, a ferrorabbit held at arm’s length by rusty crimson hands placed on the scruff and haunch, the rabbit’s little ears flattened as fear filled its tiny face. Her eyes widened further when she noticed the small stains of blood in his light brown fur. They found out about him. Ephemeral claws of blackness clutched at her soul, ripping the very fabric she was made of as an unseen beast smiled, eager to take yet one more thing from her. Her Hoppit. Her baby. Her everything.
“Hoppit!” she shrieked, her words all but tearing out of her throat in desperation. Frozen blood coursed through her veins, yet poured into exhausted limbs. She broke through the treeline with no regard for the branches slashing against her flesh, panic making each sting fade before it could be processed. The grizzled glare of the older kobold snapped towards her, his usual scowl picking up an actual air of intensity that she never thought could be absent, the promise of violence lurking in his eyes. She skidded to a stop a few paces away, the lump in her throat threatening to clog her airway. “S-stop hurting him!”
“Didn’t,” he barked back, his tone even yet firm. “Cuts ain’t me. I’d’a done worse if’a had ta mind ta.”
The blatant declaration snapped her from blind panic, although his apparent anger didn’t do her fear any favours. “B-but… Then how…”
“‘Hoppit.’ Named it, did’cha?” he grunted, ignoring her confusion and bobbing the rabbit to get her attention again. His gaze shifted back to the animal, the flames of ire cooling slightly. “I was wonderin’ why yer plots ain’t dead yet. Suppose this critter’s why.”
One of her hands hesitantly reached out until she pulled it back, while the other clutched at her chest to stop her heart from hammering against her ribs. She couldn’t act rashly. Not while her baby was in his arms. “I—”
“Soft thing, ain’t it,” the elder kobold commented curiously, cutting her off.
“Y-yes?” she returned reluctantly, struggling to stop herself from lashing out to reclaim the ferrorabbit in his grasp.
“Like fine silk.” Makis tipped and tilted the animal, inspecting this and that with a deep-seated frown, all while Hoppit silently looked to her for help. The pit in her stomach grew. She needed to get him back, but how?
Ceele swallowed the dense dread as she tried to formulate some sort of plan, stumbling over her words and forced smile. “I-it’s nice! Isn’t it nice?”
His eyes snapped back to burrow into her own with hatred. “Wasn’t a compliment, girly.”
“B-but you—”
He released Hoppit’s lower half to jab a claw at the various spikes around his body, plying them with minimal force. “Look. See this? These’r suppose ta break bone. ‘Specially when he’s stiff like this. Ain’t no way I should be able ta bend ‘em. He’s barely more than a walkin’ carcass—all skin ‘n stick. He’s gonna get picked up by a wandering pecker if he keeps pissin’ about out ‘ere. It’s a wonder he’s still kickin’. What’cha feeding ‘em?” His gaze dropped from her face to the rest of her, disgust curling his muzzle into a snarl. “N’ver mind. I can guess.”
She felt the dampness build at the edges of her vision, unprepared to not only worry for Hoppit's immediate health, but also to face such harsh criticism while she was so vulnerable. “I… I try to make sure he has…”
Makis crouched to release the ferrorabbit onto the ground, Ceele dropping to her knees the moment he did. The terrified lagomorph wasted no time, bolting towards his adoptive mother and leaping into her arms, shaking uncontrollably. The rust-coloured ‘bold stared as she started soothingly stroking the animal’s back.
“Yer given’ em the weeds, aren’t ya?” he stated rather than asked. She gave a teary nod when her voice wouldn’t respond for her. The old kobold drew a breath, letting it go in an exasperated sigh as he stood back up, his expression becoming more impatient than antagonistic. “What else?”
“I— Um…”
“What. Else?”
“W-whatever I c-can find!” she sputtered out. Hoppit tried to hide against her neck, prompting her to tighten her hold. She couldn’t stop herself from shrinking, the guilt and confusion pulling her head down. “R-roots, vegetables, fruits… I give them as often as I can.”
His glare continued unimpeded, his cadence cold. “That it?”
There were a million things Ceele wanted to say. A part of her wanted to beg him not to kick them out of the first safe place she had in longer than she could remember, but she couldn’t find the words. She wanted to deny the judgmental tone that stabbed into her insecurity surrounding how good of a job she was doing with Hoppit, but the deadened void in her chest swallowed her pride whole. She knew he was right to critique her. That she was failing in the only thing that mattered anymore. That the feeling of loss would return.
“I try,” she whispered through the beginnings of a sob. “I try to find more, but he needs someone around, and I have to work the garden, so there’s only so much time I can spend looking. He won’t even eat all of what I bring back…” Tears dripped off her cheeks as she aimed a desolate smile at her furry friend. “He wants to make sure I have some too.”
“Yer killin’ em,” Makis pointed out plainly, crossing his arms. “He’ll be dead ‘fore the summer at this rate.”
“I know!” she shouted, forcing back the memories of insidious murmurs that lurked in the back of her mind, eager to creep into her ears again. The hate-filled stares that followed her, the rumours that arrived in towns before she had the chance to make an impression, and the guilt that loomed over her like an executioner's axe… “I know I am… I just… I don’t know what he needs. I don’t know how to make him happy…but I try. I’m trying…”
“…Yer an idiot, girly.”
She looked up to see the elder kobold walking away without another word. Her eyes fell to Hoppit, the ferrorabbit pressing himself against her as much as he could. He was small, thin, soft, and growing weaker by the day, but he never let it keep him down for long. No, he always showed his best for her, giving her joy that wasn’t provided anywhere else. She saw the thin cuts and dried blood, though she didn’t know where they came from, nor how he got out of the shed in the first place. But that was okay. Hoppit was okay, and she had Hoppit, so everything was okay, right?
…But how much longer would everything stay okay? How much longer until her efforts weren’t enough, and she was left desperately reaching for fading memories of what once was? How much longer until she killed her baby too?
How much longer until she was alone again?
Soft footsteps drew near, pulling her from the spiralling thoughts that threatened to gnaw at her soul. Damp, blurry eyes fell on Makis returning with a small wooden crate, the older kobold stopping a few steps away. He dropped the box, a deep, rattling thud produced as it impacted the ground, making Hoppit flinch in her arms. Ceele blinked as she kept him calm, then blinked again, looking up at the man for answers.
“The name, girly,” he spat in irritation. “Ferrorabbit. Ther’ Earth aligned creatures; they need metals. They don’t care where they get it, but they need lots of it. Iron, copper, tin, lead—raw crystal, if they can find it. You name it, they’ll take a chunk out of it. It's why they bother farmers so much; the best soil’s usually top’a gem deposits, ‘n the little bastards have no issue burrowing deep to get it. Dries up the element’s energy ‘n makes the crops weak.”
Ceele’s mouth opened and closed, each unsuccessful attempt to speak making her feel smaller and smaller. More and more lost. Why was he telling her this? How did he know? What was in the—
He kicked the crate with the side of his foot. “Scraps. Don’t’cha look at me like that. I’m a smith, girly. I might be old and retired, but I still work a forge. Now, this ain’t anything pure—it’s just slag and hunks—but I’m sure the critter won’t mind. Your little gardenin’ project pays off, ‘n I’ll see which of my contacts can get in some better ore.”
She ripped her eyes away from the box and met the perpetual scowl of the old kobold, seeing a warmth behind the hostility that she had never noticed before. “…Why?”
He scoffed in amusement, which looked somewhat menacing on such a hardened expression. “Yer a touch stupid, girly, but the missus adores ya, ‘n yer a good worker.” A shadow of a smile formed on his face. “Hira spent more evenings asking ‘bout how the plots are doin’ than I got time in the day. She’d bite my head off if I noticed a critter like that sufferin’ and didn’t lend a hand. ‘Specially when it’s obvious you ain’t tryin’ ta hurt the thing.”
“B-but the garden… Isn’t he a problem?”
Makis rolled his eyes, turning with a dismissive wave of his hand. “If he was, he’da killed it by now. I’d say he’s been keepin’ the others clear ‘n got scratched up for the trouble. That’s more reason to feed ‘em right in my eyes; pay the poor bastard his dues.” He paused after a few steps, shooting her one last incredulous glance. “‘N the rabbit’s right. You’re not much better off than he is. Eat. Before the missus takes my head, preferably. I ain’t need ta hear her worryin’ over you more than I already do.”
And with that, he walked off back to the house, leaving Ceele to sit stunned on the ground with Hoppit quietly nuzzling into her.
“Hoppit…?”
The ferrorabbit perked an ear and gently licked her collar. Fresh tears ran rivulets down her face, yet they didn’t weigh her down. They felt freeing. She adjusted her hold on the rabbit and held him out, taking in the small cuts and numerous other injuries she had never noticed before. He stared back at her with worried eyes.
“You’ve been busy, huh?” she cooed quietly, doing her best to keep her voice from cracking. He shrunk in her hands. “I told you to stay home, baby. What if something happened to you? I wouldn’t know where you went, and…”
Her protests died out as she saw what was unmistakably guilt on his little face. She brought him back to her chest and cleared her throat.
“It’s alright, Hoppit. If… If you want to help momma, then we can work together, okay? Just…please don’t go off getting hurt… I don’t know what I’d do without you…” The rabbit didn’t reply, and she was pretty sure she had never heard him make any sounds that weren’t his happy little ear clacks, but she chose to interpret the nuzzling as an agreement. “Such a smart boy…”
She took a breath and wiped off the excess moisture from her cheeks, setting Hoppit down on the ground. “Let’s bring Mr. Makis’ gift in, and then I need to go get more water so we can clean you up, okay?”
He bounced his way to the door of their home, waiting patiently for her to lug the surprisingly heavy crate into the shed. He was even still behaving himself by the time she returned from picking up the things she dropped in her haste. There wasn’t a single protest from the ferrorabbit as she washed over his wounds with warm water, nor when she asked him to wait as she cut up a small salad for him using an extra portion of her rationed vegetables. Finally, once everything else was gone, she tentatively sifted through the box until she found a chunk of something that didn’t look so sharp, then offered it to Hoppit skeptically.
As startling as it was to see him bite through metal without issue, she couldn’t help but tear up again at how pleased he looked with the bizarre addition to his diet. He munched through the first piece, then stared at the box while pawing at the air, asking for more. She obliged through wet laughs, feeling lighter than she had since he first gazed at her from his burrow, alone and afraid, just like she was.
Her little baby was happy, and that made it okay.
Next
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A/N: Thank you to my Patrons, new and returning! No Thanks, Emmanuel, and Megathor join the others who get to read 1 chap ahead!

I hate my sister so fucking much to the point I'd even wish she dies. I HATE her I really, really DESPISE her so much I just wish my parents would actually make their words come true and send her away. Selfish fucking bastard who think she's so much more mature than me. Me who's OLDER than her yet she acts like a wannabe slut, Narcissistic asshole even has a bible and a rosary when she baits herself up for men just for attention. She always whines about how much she cleans when I'm not at home to do all the damn chores but when I get home all I ever see is hidden TRASH and sloppily washed dishes, MUD TRACKS on the floor and dirty ass GARBAGE JUICE. I can't stand her anymore. Cause of her I get headaches a lot since she was too lazy to bury away her DEAD bird that she brought home on impulse WHILE SHE WENT MISSING FOR THREE DAYS, Fucker lied about going on a camping trip with her scout group only for my mom to find out she's been miles away from home with her friends just cause my parents didn't buy her shit on her birthday. WE WERE TIGHT ON MONEY, Mom was basically losing SLEEP over the loans she'd have to pay back just to keep her shop running yet the ungrateful brat is throwing a damn tantrum over how we can't throw her a full on fiesta she can brag about to her friends. The AUDACITY for her to complain when me and ny brother had our birthdays FORGOTTEN multiple times by everyone! We never complained about it so why the fuck should we even cater to every single demand she has! Entitled brat tries to tattle on me every fucking time, Well jokes on for even trying. I know her tricks, She tries to make herself the victim then she'll start to shift the topic onto herself while crying like a baby. AS IF I'LL LET HER FUCKING GET AWAY WITH HER PITY TACTICS AND GUILT TRIPPING. I hate her so fucking much. Stealing my shit all the damn time and blaming ME whenever I take it back and break the stuff she bought with stolen money. I know I'm petty, that I'm an angry person and that I'll never be able to change that violent aspect of me. Atleast I'm fucking AWARE and actually has humility. She never even feels GUILTY for stealing a shit ton of my moms money to spend on HERSELF. Buying all sorts of frivolous things she knows my mom can't splurge on. Even acting like the spoiled brat she is and posing as a fucking rich kid. To make it even fucking worse is that she's only a minor. I wish that I can actually get a fucking spine to put myself out there and get a job so that I can finally get away from this cunt but I CAN'T and it frustrates me so fucking much that socializing SCARES me so much that I can't even handle a minute of small talk. I didn't even PLAN to be here, I'm only one year away from what I initially predicted but I'm still HERE and it's starting to get to me. I have no plans for my future, I barely even know myself, I have no talent at all, and I can't even keep my friends by my side cause of my tendency to go by on my own for weeks on end. I hate being alive. Why does it even fucking matter when I can't make meaningful relationships, when I'm not rich enough to not stress about how I'll live the next dat and to add more to that I'm not even attractive at all to atleast experience the pretty privilege so many of the people I've met had. I have NOTHING to myself. I have nothing for people to admire and it hurts so much to know that I'll never be able to amount to anything more than that "nice" quiet kid in the classroom. I'll never be the funny one, the smart one nor the pretty one. I don't even know what she sees in me, WHY she would even want to look for that one creep of a kid she made friends with at her old home, Just why she still wants to talk to me, to spend time with me or bring me along hangouts at all. I have nothing to give her. Nothing but my bitter, ugly self to atleast listen to her thoughts whenever she feels lonely.

Prepare yourself for a long novel/rant (a lot longer then I thought it would be)...
First off, loving the game so far hence the amount of hours I have put into it. I have just finished playing through my second character completing all tasks. They game has some very strong bones to build off in its current state & I am excited for the future. I am particularly excited for the night cycle and NVGs to arrive as night raids are my favorite in any game (I'm looking at you Tarkov & Arma). With that being said, there are some glaring issues with it currently. Below is my rambling thoughts/suggestions on some fixes that can help (even temp fixes). Keep in mind, I have played 90% of my time as a solo bouncing between both PvP & PvE servers (I mainly mess around or farm keys needed on the PvE servers) so please take that into consideration. Some suggestions are PvP focused, most are just general stuff.
Game Optimization - This is IMO the biggest issue and should be the highest priority on the list above all else. I have friends with a vast range of PCs who either can't run it or it runs like shit & they just gave up. The reasons are everything ranging from FPS, game crashes, server crashes you name it. Some can't even boot the game up without it crashing there system. Performance in some areas tanks like Fort Narith, Midnight and in particular Tiger Bay with losses of up to 20+ FPS. Couple that with the optimization and it becomes almost unplayable for people. Myself, I drop from a constant 75-80fps to 45-50fps in Tiger Bay just standing in the area. Couple that with the FPS loss if using a scoped weapon its just not it. Using a red dot helps with the FPS drop from the scope but also makes it a lot harder to engage/see enemy's at range when they can see you perfectly through a bush with an iron sight AK.
Audio - Needs work across the board. From no footstep audio, no door opening audio at times etc it just needs work. Have also had cases where I'm somewhere like inside Midnight Hotel and the audio just switches from nothing to very loud bugged audio. Everything sounds very loud but muffled sound in a way if that makes any sense...
AI (a couple of parts to this one) -

• I understand they are base AI with limited knowledge as they have explained but they need to dial them back just a bit IMO. I can see them being a bit more difficult in the end game areas (makes more sense) but even the starting town they will just laser you from the heavens. They should always be a threat on the map but not the gods of the map if that makes sense. Nothing worse then an AI spinning around on the spot and instantly 1 shotting you from 100+m.
• The share amount of them in some areas are just insane/over the top. You only need to venture into Tiger Bay to know what I am talking about but its the same case for other places also. With how aimbotty, godlike perception they have even getting close to the area you have 10+ AI all shooting you with pin point accuracy. I'm not saying gut the shit outta the amount but tone the numbers back a little. This should also allow for some better performance gains. Now this might also tie into my next point below..
• AI aggro range is......something. For example, I was in the Tiger Bay mall clearing it out to farm a task key I needed (UNLRA Quarantine). I came in the usual way from Juliet 2, sneaking my way in ensuring to not aggro the AI on the way until I was at the mall. Went in the back door and started to engage the LAF soldiers. While I was in there I was then pushed (& this has happened on multiple occasions now) by all the normal AI from outside of the mall. They looked to have been pushing from where the Lost Girl task is/beach side as they came from that area. I don't know exactly how many there were but estimated well over 70+ AI I had to kill and I didn't even get a chance to leave the door way I came in from. I also didn't even get a chance to loot anything as by that time I was out of ammo and the AI was starting to de-spawn it had been that long. Now this happens from time-time in other places also (there is no consistency), it's not just a Tiger Bay issue and it makes me question if its the amount of AI that's the issue or the aggro range that is the issue making it feel as if the amount of AI is too much.
• Bullet spongy - I don't think I need to go too deep into this but an AI shouldn't be tanking headshots/face shots while wearing nothing but a baseball cap from any ammo. Our players can't so the AI shouldn't either.
• AI in YBL needs some serious looking into. Can almost 100% guarantee that 1 if not multiple spawn inside the walls and just constantly tell you they fucked your mother. Now this happens in other places also but is particularly bad in the YBL Bunker.
• AI respawn timers need some adjusting, particularly on the PvP servers. By the time you have cleared say midnight hotel lord help you if you get into a fight with other players as the AI start re-spawning. Nothing worse then clearing an area, getting into some fun PvP only to have an AI respawn, walk up behind you with no audio and shot you in the ass. Respawn times should be set by location/amount of AI in there areas. Maybe a dev can shed some light on how the respawns work exactly? Like will the AI not respawn if a player is in the vicinity and at what distance etc. At the moment it seems very random and I am unsure if its the respawn times, respawn locations or the what seems bugged aggro range that causes this.

Key drops - Yes it extends the game play time out and keeps people going back to certain areas. But there are some keys that just have abysmal drop rates. BL Restaurant Storage key, Sawmill Office Storage key are classic examples of this. Over my time of playing the game I have only ever found those 2 keys once and that is after spending hours, days even weeks grinding for them. Now it is not just those 2 keys, there are other I have simply just never seen at all. Rare keys like Office Storage or whatever could possibly have something like a 50% chance to drop on the bosses of the area so you do have to do some work for them. If they really want to extend the game play out when it comes to keys they would need to add a usage value to them similar to what Tarkov has.
Loot - 99% of the current loot around the place is garbage/worthless trash that is not even worth picking up. Selling prices need to increase on a lot of them until they add crafting or something to make it worth while to pick up. Loot in general needs to be added in order to keep the gameplay going (more so at the higher levels). They need to add some high tier loot around the different P.O.I to give people something to go back for. This would also help with the PvP side of things and gives players more reasons to go fight over different locations (we love our loot!). When I say high tier loot, I'm talking about containers similar to those in the Pier key or UNLRA container key. Kitted M4s, high tier armor & helmets etc. Currently those 2 places have by far the best loot in the game but are just not worth the shit fight to get into to loot as the risk vs reward is not worth it. Currently as it stands you are better off going to Midnight and farming the safes & Elena garage key. I also think they need to add some gold spawns like gold watches, rings etc that sell for very good money. This also would help with the PvP side of things as where the high tier loot is, generally is where the PvP is. Outside of tasking, there isn't much to do besides PvP or fight AI & adding more things to loot is what keeps the game alive.
Character Stats/Skills etc -

• The weight system/how it works currently feels imbalanced which turns you (mainly speaking for myself here) away from any looting. You will maybe pick up some more ammo or meds and maybe food/drink if required. Either need to increase the carry weight limit or add a skill system we can level up in order to increase the weight limit. Possibly add a stim (similar to Tarkovs MULE stim) to increase the weight carry limit. For people who wonder why I am going in so heavy, I challenge you to try take Tiger Bay with a couple of mags and a couple spare stacks of ammo and see how far you get. Half my carry weight is just in spare ammo & that adds up pretty fast. It's a big reason why I never use the delta bags as you can't even fill it with being a turtle.
• Ability to drop task items in bag. This kind of ties into weight system with thing like those massive containers you need to pick up for Hazardous Treasures or the Terminal Initiative tasks. Once you pick them up, they put you instantly over weight with no way of dropping them if you find yourself in a fight. You are effectively a sitting duck & basically dead with it anyway. Please allow us to drop them and if we leave them there or die well we were going to die & loose it anyway because we couldn't move.
• Leaning while side strafing I think needs to be sped up a bit (not too much or we will have other issues).
• Jumping/mantling/general movement feels somewhat clunky at times.
• Stamina (both arm & running) I feel need to be either increased a bit or like mentioned above, a skill system to be added where we can work towards increasing them.
• Hold breath - I'm not too sure how I feel about this one.....Part of me whats it to be increased (maybe by a second or 2, nothing drastic) & part of me feels like it's fine as it is. You be the judge.

Guns/ Weapons (multiple parts again) -

• 7.62x51 guns/ammo are effectively useless even with the best in slot ammo or builds. There is no reason to use an M700 over an M4 for sniping/long distance shots. The ammo also feels bugged, M80 is just rubbish and the AI or players feel like you are tickling them. M61 seems VERY inconsistent as in sometime it will kill and sometimes you have put an entire mag into them. It also feels as if the damage drop off rate it not correct but I'm not 100% sure on that.
• AKs - 5.45 ammo doesn't feel too bad but can be very inconsistent (possibly could have something to do with the bullet sponginess of the AI). 7.62 AKs are just terrible and the even the BP ammo just basically does nothing. All AKs accross the board need the MOA changed, a kitted AK with all the best in slot parts should not be 3+ MOA where as a stock M4 is 2.15 MOA. Add on top of this the fact that the M4s have 60 round mags there is simply no reason to run the AKs and is a big reason why we see 99% of players running M4 or MK18s.
• M4/MK18 - I don't mind where they currently sit balance wise but we need to bring the AKs/other guns in line with how they are to add more variety. Use these guns as a baseline for how the others should perform with there own little uniqueness.
• Pistols - They need some love, no reason to run them as they can barely kill any of the AI.
• Shotguns - While better yes, I still think they need some more adjusting to make them worth using.
• Mosin - I feel is in a fairly decent spot but please give us the ability to purchase the ST rounds back.

Helis/map travel - Ahh everyone's favorite topic. While it is a cool core part to the game it is probably the most discussed topic & some peoples biggest frustration with the game currently. I can understand it's not as easy as "just add more helis" due to that having an affect on performance etc. But there are some adjustments to the current system that I think would help in the short term. I also understand they are working on an overhaul to the heli system so we shall see what the future holds.

• Showing the destination before the heli lands at base the same as it shows when it leaves the base. This would help if there is a solo or a duo who is going somewhere other players can see it and hitch a ride. Even if it is going close to where they are going they will still jump on to avoid the spamming meta of trying to get a heli.
• Speed them up a tad. Not an over the top amount to make them fucken fighter jets but just a bit faster then they currently are.
• De-spawn them faster after drop off. At the base it's not too bad but when a heli drops someone off at lets say Delta 2, we then have to wait for it to fly all the way to outside of the map to de-spawn. Players do not care to watch the heli fly off into the horizon so there is no need for them to take so long to fly out & de-spawn. This would speed up the time that another heli can be called in speeding up the entire process. Couple this with slightly faster travel times and we have a temp system that is far better then then current system.
• Call in times seem bugged at points. Multiple times I have been at base even sometimes on a server by myself, no other helis have been called or on the map and I get a 5min+ wait time. Unsure on why this is but it should not happen. This also doesn't just happen at base but even out at the LZs calling for pick up.
• Queue system - This is something that I believe should be worked on fairly quickly. Let us call a heli and it just puts us in a queue rather then all trying to fight over who can click the call transport button the fastest. Would possibly need to add a cool down timer of sorts so dicks can't just keep spamming it for the sake of being fuckwits.
• Now this is more of an idea then anything but if the helis could do multiple drop offs/pick ups along its route somehow that could also help. For example if there is a duo at Delta 3 going back to base and another duo at Echo 2 going back to base they could get picked up on the same heli. I don't know how/if that could even work but it is just an idea.
• LOUD NOISES!!! They heli volume is just unbearable lets be honest. Yes you can wear the stupid yellow ear muffs but that shouldn't be the case. Either the headsets we normally wear should have the same heli audio profile as the yellow earmuffs or they need to an Ear Plug key bind similar to what Arma has for that same reason. Currently you can't even talk to your friends or team mates in heli as the noise drowns them out. Game volume/master volume also lowers chat/VOIP volume so you can't even turn that down to help.

Tasks - While I know we only have a small portion of them for now I do have some frustrations with them.

• A lot of the current tasks are very repetitive & would love to see some more variety & possibly some PvP focused ones like eliminate players with a headshot from 100m or whatever. Tarkov does this quite well and some ideas can be gained with there own spin on it would work fine.
• They require you to constantly travel back & forth to base just to turn them only to then be given another task to go straight back. An idea I have (I know others have had also) is to have small safe zones scattered around the map where theses things can be done. Example being lets say 1 LZ has a hut with a radio where you can go to turn in a task/accept another task. This keeps people in the map itself and will in turn help with the heli problem we currently have. Even it was just 1 LZ in each area that allows it and have it change location every so often (Delta 1 for 5mins > Delta 2 for 5 mins > Delta 3 for 5mins then back to Delta 1). This would help (not 100% but help) stop people infill/extract camping those POIs waiting for players to go turn in tasks etc.
• Would love to see some form of daily tasks/weekly tasks at some point to give players who have completed the tasks a reason to keep on trucking rather then just running around aimlessly looking for a fight.

There are stuff I would love/hope to see added are things like face shields, more guns like SMGs, DMRs etc (obvious), more armor variety etc but we could go on for hours about that.
Now I know I have referenced Tarkov a number of times in here but that is because they do some of these things very well (also do some very shit things). I don't want this game to be another Tarkov because it is very different but more just utilize some of the elements that make sense and we know works.
Thanks for coming to my ted talk. Crucify away with my takes/suggestions or feel free to share your own ideas. Apologies for the dragged out post, I even surprised myself with this one.

Title: I am 31 years old, make $92,600 base, live in Northern Alberta, work in Forestry, and recently returned to work after a year off for maternity leave.

• All $ in CAD. $1 CAD to $0.73 US.
• I will call my spouse H.
• We aren’t looking to change spending habits too much, this was more a fun exercise to see what we spend and how we’re doing financially now that I am back to work.

HHI: $166,000
Section One: Assets and Debt
Retirement Balance: Total $76,431 (joint)

• My retirement accounts include a DCPP of $62,495, an RRSP of $8125, and a TFSA of $130
• H’s only has a spousal RRSP of $5631
• DCPP amount is from a 5% base contribution plus 2% matching from my employer, and 3% from me. I have had this account since 25 (when I started at the company) and have done the matching the entire time except during my maternity leave. They continued the 5% base while I was off on maternity leave, I had the option to get the matching as well but we couldn’t swing the cost while I was only on EI.
• RRSPs are mostly from excess benefits money. I have flex benefits and get an annual amount to “spend”. Before we had our kid there was about $500/month split going into our RRSPs. Now we do $42.30/month split ($21.15 for each). The spousal RRSP means I can claim this on my taxes, instead of him claiming on his.
• TFSAs will be our next focus once we’ve caught up on the annual bills from May to July - annual house insurance and two vehicle insurances. We haven’t been consistent with depositing into our TFSA’s, so we have $80K+ room in each.

Equity: The house is worth $400,000. We owe $303,000. Equity is $97,000.
Savings account balance: $450 in emergency savings (this is a priority starting in August to beef up), $2000 in property taxes sinking fund (to be spent by July)
Checking account balance: $5288.15 - we both got paid today so I will be moving money around and this number will be down a lot by the end of the day.
Credit card debt: $16,635

• $12,855 LOC. This is entirely from vehicles - before I went on maternity leave H sold his truck and we took a $9500 loss - pulled the money out of the LOC to pay off the lien. In April, we needed a different vehicle so we took $6500 out of the LOC to purchase a new-to-us car. We have yet to sell the vehicle we replaced, but when we do that money will either go onto LOC or into emergency savings. We’re aiming to get $3000 for the sale.
• $530 My CC. This is from not budgeting for two road trips I took in the last two weeks, plus some other overspending on random things.
• $3250 H CC. This is from overspending on groceries/gas and vehicle expenses.

Student loan debt: $0

• H went to trade school (8 weeks/year for 4 years) to become a journeyman mechanic
• I took a 2-year diploma program that cost $12,000 (including books and random spending). My parents saved up $20K for me to go to college/university, so I got about $8,000 in cash from my mum once I graduated as I didn’t use all of the savings for school.
• I lived with my mum while in college and H lived with roommates so his income went to rent/groceries/bills and I had basically no living expenses as my mum covered everything.
• When he went to trade school I was working, so I covered our bills while he was off (and he got EI and some grants during that time frame).

Other Info:

• H and I have had combined finances since we were 19 when we married. This has greatly changed our financial situation.
• I have access to an employee stock purchase plan - I have about $1400 in my company stocks with no plan for them at the moment.
• I got a salary top-up when I went on maternity leave. My employer covered my 1 week EI waiting period and topped up to 100% salary for 11 weeks. The rest of the time I was off I was getting $1158 biweekly from EI.
• We qualify for the Climate Action Incentive from the federal government. This is about $1200/year.
• We get CCB for our kid of $140.61/month. This will increase to $273.74/month come July as our annual income was less in 2023 compared to 2022.

Net Worth: $164,484
Section Two: Income
Income Progression (Post College/Trade School):

• H has been in his field for roughly 8 years and his starting salary was about $37,000 ($19/hr). Two years ago, he took a $20/hour pay cut moving from a journeyman mechanic ($45/hr) to a service advisor ($25/hr). He’s since gotten a $10/hr pay increase from switching employers and switching roles/getting a raise. H now makes $72,800 not including any overtime, which he does get fairly regularly.
• I've been working in my field for 8 years, and my starting salary was about $41,000. I have not changed careers, but I have changed employers. I got two raises when at my first job post-college from $20/hr (41,000) to $23/hr ($47,800) to $30/hr ($62,400). When I started at my current employer in 2018 I was offered $78,000 annually, plus moving benefits (approx $2000). I’ve consistently gotten a 2-5% raise every year (except this year - but I did get a raise 2 weeks before going on leave) or have gotten promoted and am now making $92,600 before bonuses. I get two bonuses a year, one is based on company performance and has been $0 to $10,000. My other bonus is performance-based and has been anywhere from $1200 to $4000. I got both bonuses while on maternity leave, the company performance one was cut in half based on hours worked. I also had to pay back EI because of my bonus income.

Main Job Monthly Take-Home:
Mine: $4768.90 (two paycheck months)

• My monthly deductions include ESPP $213.60, DCPP matching $213.60, social club $5, flex benefits $26, plus taxes $701.27, CPP $203.97 and EI $59.14. In September I usually have an increase in my monthly take home as my CPP/EI is maxed out, but this might not happen this year as my RTW date was the end of April.

H: $3687.28

• H gets an advance on the 15th of $1000 and at the end of the month gets the rest of his pay. His end-of-the-month pay has ranged from $2600 to $3900 already this year because of illness, time off and short months.
• H’s deductions include taxes $623.25, EI $78.23, CPP $263.07, and $61.10 of HCP, but we’re not 100% sure what the HCP is cause he declined his benefits. This reminds me he should talk to payroll and see what’s up with that. He hits his 1st anniversary in August so we’ll see if he ends up maxing out CPP/EI in September or so.

Side Gig Monthly Take-Home:

• I craft and go to some markets and things, but don’t make much after counting all my costs. If I didn’t sell things I made, I’d have no room for craft storage!
• I am working on a custom quilt that when finished will bring in $275.

Any Other Monthly Income Here:

• As said above, we qualify for the CAI and CCB. CCB is $140/month currently and CAI is $400 quarterly.
• I get $500/year from my benefits to spend wherever and however I want. So far this year I’ve spent it on clothes and hiking boots. I have $190 left.

Section Three: Expenses

• Mortgage: $950 bi-weekly - $1900/month on 2 pay period months.
• Property Taxes: Sinking fund of $185/biweekly (we pay this annually in June. It is $2250 this year, last year was $1950).
• Home Insurance: $1640 annually. We pay this in full in July. I expect it to increase this year, but I’m unsure how much.
• Retirement Contribution: In addition to pre-tax contributions above, starting in August, biweekly contributions will be $377 to H’s TFSA and $226 to mine. H’s is more as I have my DCPP and when H’s total is closer to even or maxed out, I’ll max out mine.
• Savings Contribution: $200/biweekly starting in July, we also will have a home maintenance fund and will save $425/month.
• Debt Payments: LOC minimum is $130/month. We pay anywhere from $200 to $2000/month. This will increase come August, and the LOC will be paid off in May 2025. Both CCs should be paid off by September.
• Donations: $20/month to the animal shelter, and $20/month to SOS, I also volunteer at least 5-15 hours a month to a local sports group and to the foundation my MIL set up after my BIL passed. I sit on the board for both non-profits. We also randomly donate money to other things, or go in on 50/50 raffles different nonprofits have.
• Utilities: In the winter $600/month, the summer around $300/month. Gas and electricity combined. I live somewhere where it hits -40C and +40C depending on the time of the year.
• Garbage Rental: $40/month, $120/month when we get it dumped - approximately every 4 months. We live on an acreage and instead of carting garbage bags to work every week or going to the dump, we rent a dumpster for the driveway and call to have it dumped when it's full.
• Septic System Inspection/Cleaning: $400/year
• Internet: $105/month for unlimited fibre optic.
• Cellphone: $70/month for H. I have a work phone at no charge.
• Subscriptions: Amazon Prime $99/year, Spotify $11.54/month, Patreon $10.50/month (Money Feels <3), PlayStation Plus $32/quarter, Kindle Unlimited $10/month, Crunchyroll $9.99/month ($60.95/month total)
• Pet expenses: Roughly $100/month for food and litter for our two cats. Plus $400/year for an annual checkup. This will go up some as they age and probably have to have dental cleanings done.
• Car Insurance/Registration: No payments we own both vehicles outright. Insurance is $1500/year for both vehicles, we pay this in May/July. H spends around $300/month on gas as we live 30 min out of town. I have a work truck so I have no commuting costs. Annually we spend $160 on registration. AMA is 262.50 annually in July.
• Paid Hobbies: Don’t have fixed costs for these right now as we cut them out while I was on maternity leave. In January though, we’ll each get $100-200/month for hobbies.
• Daycare: $900/month ($450 the 1st and 15th). This is slightly more expensive than some others we found and does not qualify for subsidy or grants, but L loves her day home and the caretaker is great.
• Life/Disability Insurance: $125/month for both of us. This is $500K each for life and $100K each for critical illness.
• Food: Roughly $800/month in groceries and I’m not sure about eating out. Since going back to work a month ago life has been hectic so we’re spending more than usual on eating out/convenient foods. H has ADHD and forgets his lunch at home or in the car every day which is a waste, so he buys lunch either at the nearby grocery store or restaurants. I sometimes pack leftovers and sometimes go get food. I’ve been trying to get freezer meals and leave them at the office so I don’t have to pack things back and forth and we haven’t been making meals with leftovers.
• L’s Baby Supplies: $75/month? We have to buy diapers and wipes monthly pretty much.
• House Cleaners: This is an expense we had before H took his pay cut, and we’ve been slowly putting it back in the budget on and off. Roughly $200/clean which happens sporadically as the house is a mess and there is no time for two working parents to clean with an 11-month-old butt scooting everywhere. She always manages to find floor snacks
• Family: We send my sister-in-law money on a fairly regular basis, anywhere from $20-$100. She always pays us back, but we treat this as a write-off in case she doesn’t.

—
Day 1 - Friday
2 am - L wakes up and I get her back down 3 times before 3 am. At 3, H takes her out of the room to burn some energy before they both come back to bed roughly an hour later. Thanks, L. Thank you, H I was getting pretty frustrated with our darling child.
6:30 am - The first alarm goes off and I grab L for a cuddle and morning nursing session. Once she’s done, she rolls around and tries to climb both of us to get our phones before we all get out of bed at 7. Today is a PJ movie day at daycare so we don’t bother dressing her only changing the diaper and then H and L are out the door by 7:15. I leave for work at about 7:45 after doing some putting around.
8:15 am - I get to work and my first stop is the coffee machine. I get back to my office after talking to a few coworkers about our social club golf event next weekend. I see that an industry-specific mentor cohort program is open for applications so I find my most recent resume (2021!) and do a major update before applying. This year one of my goals is to work on leadership skills and mentoring so why not apply?
9 am - I had a hard time finding a bra this morning so I go online and purchase two new ones from the local bra-tique for pickup. My total is $170 after my 10% discount for signing up for their email list. This money is coming from my $500 annual work benefit for whatever I want and I now have $20 left. I eat my breakfast at my desk - yoghurt and homemade granola today.
11 am - I have a webinar on caribou to attend so I log into Zoom and while it's loading, pull up our cashflow forecaster to get the payday finances done before the weekend. $1750 to H’s cc to cover some overspending/vehicle expenses, $100 to the LOC, $373.10 for utilities, and $450 for daycare. Total is $2673.10 I’m not sure if I should include the bills in the daily writeups, but ah well. Day 1 spending is off to a great start.
1 pm - I get the notification that my bras are ready for pickup. Woohoo! I get new bras for the weekend! I send $50 to H’s TFSA once I confirm the bank account is connected.
2:30 pm - Eating lunch now as breakfast was so late. Freezer butter chicken with broccoli. I only have 1 more freezer meal at work so I make a note to restock.
3:30 pm - I work on some cycle times for the log haul for this coming logging season. It takes me a few minutes to remember exactly what I’m doing and how to do it. I am super glad I came back to work at the end of April as I get 3-ish months of slow time to get back into the swing of things before work starts to pick up.
4 pm - I am struggling to do any more than format my Excel sheets so I figure it’s time to pack it up and head home.
4:30 pm - After picking up my bras, I go to Once Upon A Child for some cheap baby clothes. L is in between sizes and we somehow managed to misplace all her more summery sleepwear so I’ve been grabbing a few here and there. OUAC has a sale on, 5 sleepers for $15 so I grab 5 of those and 4 other onesies for summer. We have a family photoshoot on Canada Day and I’ve been hunting for something that’ll match L’s ribbon skirt. $30.45
5 pm - I stop at the store to check the mail and grab a 12-pack of mixed tequila smashes. $37.55
5:30 pm - H calls. He’s off work and headed to get L. I pull burgers and fries out of the freezer, start up the BBQ and get the air fryer going.
6:05 pm - H and L arrive home in perfect time as the burgers and fries just finished cooking. I have an open Pineapple Tequila Smash and I hand H one to drink with supper too. L also has a veggie pouch with the burgers and fries.
7:20 pm - L is in bed nursing to sleep after her bath while H preps episode 4 of Obi-Wan Kenobi for us to watch. We watched it when it was first coming out, but he saw the discs at Walmart last week and figured to grab them. We thought we hadn’t seen all the episodes, but so far we’re 3:3 so we might’ve seen them all.
7:40 pm - L is down and out and I sneak out of the bedroom. I start a load of laundry and find the two bras I couldn’t this morning and handwash them. I sit down with H and we watch some Obi-Wan Kenobi.
10 pm - I check my email and see one from a local photographer group I really like. I’ve done at least two shoots with all 3 of them separately before and they’ve now joined forces. I went to their open house yesterday and won 50% off a boudoir package in 2024. I’ve wanted to book in since they announced their group, so I go through their open spots and book for November. My initial deposit is $262.50.
10:30 pm - We finished the last 3 episodes and watched all previously except for the finale. Of course. It was pretty good, but near the end, I started to scroll on my phone more than pay attention to the show. I swap the laundry, shower and head to bed at 11 pm.
H’s spending Day 1: $7.54 for lunch, $267.58 on vehicle parts/oil change that we didn’t budget for. Normally we would’ve, but communication is kinda crappy atm, and I think that’s due to sleep deprivation.
Day 1 total: $775.62 spending + $50 to TFSA. Oof off to a spendy start for the pay period.
—
Day 2 - Saturday
2:40 am - L is awake again and not going back down. This time it’s my turn. It’s already been a not-great night, hopefully, this 2 am party time doesn't keep happening.
4 am - We go back to bed. Our internet is on autopay and the notification comes through for my credit card. $105
7:20 am - L is up for the day. I don’t want to get out of bed yet, so I cuddle H and L rolls around, tries to stand and almost deletes everything on my phone. Then she notices my boobs so it’s time for a quick nurse.
8 am - I run the coffee machine and get breakfast going. We’re having pancakes this morning. While they’re cooking I pop some milk in the frother to make a fancy coffee. TBD if I drink it while it’s still hot. I feed the cats their morning meal.
8:30 am - H gets up and I’m still cooking. He grabs a coffee and takes L into the living room so I don’t trip over her and the plastic container horde.
9:30 am - H plays some Baldurs Gate 3 and L watches while I sort through the laundry I did last night. I try to get dressed and none of my shorts fit anymore so off in the donation bag they go. It’ll be a summer of dresses I guess! I start another load of laundry.
9:50 am - L is ready for a nap. Just kidding she just wanted some boob instead. We go outside afterwards to get some morning sun. Hopefully, this will tire her out and she will go down for a nap later! She hasn’t been big on sleep since she was born and gets major FOMO so we have no semblance of a schedule on weekends.
10:45 am - I bring L back inside and change her into outfit #3 for the day. Her trike got rained on and she gets soaked when she sits in it. I switch the laundry over, start yet another load and then pass L to H so I can head to the store, fill the Jerry can with gas for the lawnmower and do the recycling. 20 L of gas is $32.78 and I grab two lime slushes for H and I ($5.19). It’s +20 already and gorgeous. Total $37.97
11:30 am - L is ready for a nap! By 11:50 she’s down and I head outside to mow some of the lawn. It’s usually a 4 hr job so I don’t think I’ll get it all done today.
1 pm - I head inside for lunch, we’re having tuna sandwiches. L napped for 20 min and I didn’t get more than half the lawn mowed. After lunch, we head into town to hang out with my friend K and her two kids. We met in college back in 2014 and have babies of a similar age so it’s always nice to go over and visit.
4:30 pm - We leave K’s house and I swing by Wendy’s for a cold coffee-type drink for the drive home. I try the chocolate frosty-cinno and it’s terrible. Should’ve just gone to Tim’s for an ice cap. $4.19
5:05 pm - L fell asleep on the drive home so I hang out in the car with the windows down for another 5-10 minutes before moving things inside. She wakes up and we head in. H picks a meal and starts making dinner. L is fussy and still tired so I nurse her and we hang out in the cool basement while H cooks. I sort through the laundry that finished off today.
6 pm - H is still cooking our dinner, I reheat leftover pasta for L. H runs her bath and I bath her. She’s still grumpy on and off so she’ll probably be going to bed right after this.
6:45 pm - H and I eat chicken wings and shrimp poppers. L has decided it’s not bedtime yet, I tried to put her down and she got a second wind instead.
9:30 pm - I work on the website for one of the non-profits I volunteer for once L goes to bed at 8. After I’m done, I head into the craft room and work on the custom rag quilt project. One row left to sew together, then to put the final 5 rows together, figure out my borders and start cutting all the edges! It’s not ‘due’ until mid-July but I’d rather get it done sooner and not have to rush. My SIL texts and asks to borrow $50 till Thursday, I send it over out of my spending.
11 pm - H and I both go to bed after some kitty snuggles
Day 2 total: $92.16 (not counting $105 for internet)
—
Day 3 - Sunday
7 am - L is awake and I nurse her a couple of times cause she can’t decide if she’s happy or not. It was a decent night, but she must still be tired from not napping much yesterday. It’s my day to sleep in so H takes her out of the room by 7:30.
9:30 am - I get up make some coffee and slowly start on breakfast
10:30 am - L and I are eating breakfast, I made scrambled eggs, fried up leftover sausage, tomato and she also has two crackers with cream cheese. H and I wrote up a grocery list before I sat down and he’s off to town to get groceries and fuel up the car before the work week starts. Usually, H and his best friend C have a grocery shopping bro-date every Sunday, but C and his family are out camping this weekend so H heads in alone.
11 am - L is ready for a nap. I put her down and fold her laundry and the house laundry, taking a few breaks to scroll Reddit or Facebook and drink more coffee.
12:30 pm - L woke up and is kinda grouchy so we have a dance party to elicit baby giggles. H gets back from shopping and we put the groceries away, they cost $374.03. This is actually cheaper than the last few times we did a stock up so that’s nice! Groceries include ground beef, frozen chicken, wings, fries, cucumber, tomatoes, grapes, bananas, yoghurt, frozen lunches, macaroni, Ichiban, burgers, buttermilk, perogies, frozen fruit, frozen veggies, gravy mix, hollandaise mix, and more. We’ve been buying more convenience foods lately, but I do have 3 suppers planned for the week. He also grabbed me a big coffee mug for $6. He got gas for $60.83, and once we unload the groceries, he runs to the store for bacon, 2 jars of our favourite cowboy candy (pickled sweetened jalapeños), chips and a Starbucks frappe drink for $41.93. I make some sandwiches for lunch for tomorrow so I don’t have to scramble in the morning.
1 pm - Lunch is Ichiban noodles for H and I and baby charcuterie for L - strawberries, grapes, ham, cheese, and cucumber. We head outside afterwards to enjoy the weather, L is so close to walking, she pulls herself up onto everything right now. She has an after-lunch snack of mown grass and dandelions.
3 pm - We’re back inside and H puts on Die Hart 2. L goes down for her second nap at 4:15 and we finish the movie. I wake L up at 5:45 so she doesn’t sleep too long. When she wakes up she makes a face identical to her dad’s and it’s hilarious.
7 pm - H is cooking dinner, we’re having eggs Benny and bacon for supper. I prep L’s diaper bag for tomorrow and we run it out to the car. I also put all my laundry away so the closet is ready for the week. H sits on the chair once we’re done dinner and both cats flock to him and spread themselves over his legs.
9:45 pm - I finish off piecing the quilt top and head downstairs to shower. L is getting tired too so as soon as I’m done we head to bed. H is not far behind us.
Daily 3 total: $482.79. This is pretty usual for a grocery shop day.
—
Day 4 - Monday
6:35 am - My alarm goes off. Can’t lay in bed today as I need to meet my coworkers at the office at 7:30 am. We’re doing a team bonding mountain hike and it’s a 2.5 hrs drive away. I grab a banana, toast a bagel, add cream cheese and I’m out the door before 7 after filling up the cats' food.
7:30 am - I get to the office, fill up a water bottle, make a coffee and grab a few things from my office. Almost everyone is there, and we leave at 7:45
9:45 am - We’re there! I’ve seen 2 moose, 1 mule deer, 1 elk and almost hit 2 caribou on the highway already today! We start up the trailhead at about 10 am
1:00 pm - This mountain is much steeper than anticipated. A coworker and I decide at about 300 metres to the top that we shouldn’t push it. The last km has been extremely steep and we’ve hit our max. The rest of the group has gone ahead and summitted. We eat our lunch with a great view and start the trek back down.
3:30 pm - We’re back at the trucks! 11.2 km round trip. We hit the road to head home and stop at Dairy Queen for a celebratory ice cream. I spend $4.92 on a medium dip cone.
6 pm - Back at the office. I call H and let him know I’m headed home now and he suggests chicken wings for supper. I’m down for anything as long as I don’t have to cook.
7 pm - We all eat dinner. L has some veggie pouch, chicken wings/nuggets and leftover pasta. I am almost too tired to eat. One cat keeps trying to get L’s nuggets so he gets in trouble and shooed out of the dining room.
8:15 pm - I try to put L to bed and she goes down for a bit but decides ultimately that it’s not actually time for bed.
8:40 pm - I go and have a hot, hot shower, my muscles are sore and tomorrow might not be fun. L and H party in the TV area, she’s pulling herself up onto everything and trying to crawl up the couch. Not sure where she got this energy from! One of our cats comes for some aggressive cuddles and pets and H puts his dirty t-shirt on the chair for him. Our cat loves dirty laundry it’s hilarious.
9:20 pm - Time for bed for everyone. Hope tonight is a good night and we all can get some rest.
Day 4 Total: $4.92 (this would have been covered by one of the superintendents but a few people got ahead of her in line so she couldn’t pay for us all). My card is also charged by the garbage disposal company for the dumpster ($40.43 - counted in the bills above).
H didn’t spend any money today.
—
Day 5 - Tuesday
7 am - The first alarm went off at 6:30, but we are all tired and don’t want to wake up. I nurse L for a bit then we get up at 7. I’m pretty sore this morning so I’m not moving too fast. Get her dressed and H and L leave by 7:10. H fed the cats this morning so I don’t have to.
7:30 am - I forgot to pay H’s other cc and it’s due in 4 days so I pay it off now - $93.80 (random Amazon purchases and my KU). I pull some chicken out of the freezer to defrost and make my breakfast of homemade granola, hemp hearts and yoghurt. I leave the house around 7:45 to head to work.
8:20 am - I get to the office and immediately get asked some questions about blocks we have slated for this Fall/Winter. I’m not 100% sure of the answer and have to double-check with my boss. I grab a coffee and chat with the head boss before my boss arrives. I clarify what I need and relay the info back to my coworkers.
9:30 am - I eat my breakfast while I scroll through online courses offered by my company. I got an email yesterday of one I’m supposed to take so I book into that.
11 am - I book H and myself massages, 2 each - one this month and one next month.
12:30 pm - I took a long time to eat breakfast so I’m not quite hungry yet. I grab my running shoes from the truck and take a slow walk on the elliptical to help my sore muscles. This morning hasn’t been too busy, but I’m having a hard time starting my next big task (cycle time calculations) so hopefully the slow walk helps some.
1:30 pm - I’m back at my desk and diving into cycle time calculations. H grabs KFC for lunch $24.12
2 pm - Lunch time, I’m having a leftover sandwich from yesterday, a grapefruit cup, grapes and strawberries. I also grab a chai with milk from the coffee machine. I eat while I plug away at the cycle times.
3:45 pm - I finish off one section of cycle times and my brain has had enough. I go fill my water bottle and chat with a few coworkers. At 4:15 pm someone comes by to sign a few cheques I asked for and I leave the office at 4:30 pm
4:40 pm - H grabbed buttermilk instead of heavy cream and I need it for supper tonight so I swing by the grocery store. Then, I head out of town to a colleague’s house to drop off one of the cheques. $4.95
5:15 pm - I check the mail, get home and start cooking. We’re having Skillet Dijon Chicken with Asparagus and Mushrooms for supper. I also make some macaroni for a side. H and L get home about 5:45 to the cats waiting at the door.
6:20 pm - Supper is served! It is delicious. L and H aren’t fans of the asparagus, but the chicken, macaroni and sauce are perfection! H also riggs up a tie to L’s water bottle so it doesn’t hit the ground every 30 seconds. We fed the cats at the same time and they’re not begging for food quite so much tonight.
6:50 pm - We’re finished supper, H cleans up and I bath L.
7:30 pm - H calls my/our best friend J via FaceTime and we chat with her and her daughter R for a few minutes. L tried to steal the phone and gets mad when we don’t let her. J’s daughter requests a morning call so I promise to call at 7 am. J doesn’t think R will be awake yet so we’ll see!
8 pm - L is tired and ready to go to sleep. I put her down, have a hot bath, throw in some epsom salts, and read a bit on my KU.
9:40 pm - Bedtime!
Day 5 Total: $112.17 (removed $10 for my KU - counted in subscriptions)
—
Day 6 - Wednesday
7 am - I nurse L, she had a weird wake-up last night so we’re tossing the idea of taking her into daycare today. I’ll probably take her in a bit later and H will take his truck so if I have to WFH for the afternoon I can. Try calling J and R and there is no response - I am not surprised.
7:45 am - L and I leave the house, she’s not coughing much and doesn’t have a fever or anything so she’s good to go to daycare today
8:15 am - I drop L off at daycare
8:30 am - I get to the office. I talk with a few coworkers and ask our admin if my new phone has been dropped off yet.
9 am - My new phone is here! Now to start the setup process, everything takes forever with all the authentication apps we need. I also go through all my iCloud photos and organize/save them to my OneDrive while the phone is getting set up.
12:30 pm - I think the phone is finally done. Now to eat some lunch, I’m having leftovers from 2 nights ago - chicken nuggets, strawberries, grapes and a Cherry Bubly.
1:30 pm - H goes to a food truck for lunch. $35.01. This includes the tip.
3 pm - I had some more phone set-up to do. Might be finished now? Get an email about the cats’ annual checkups and vaccinations so I book their appointments for August.
4 pm - SIL paid me back the $50, plus another $50 she’d borrowed earlier. (+$100) I work on the photo garland for L’s first birthday for a bit.
5 pm - I haven’t gotten much done today beyond setting up my phone. I leave the office and pick up L at 5:20. I talk to her day home provider for about 15 min about how she’s been doing, etc.
6 pm - We get home! H has cooked supper already, so as soon as we get in the door we sit down to eat. Supper tonight is perogies and garlic bread. L also has a veggie pouch. H tells me the old vehicle was sold, and the buyers are doing a payment plan. We will get $300/month for the next 10 months. A lump sum would be nice, but H’s coworkers will handle all the paperwork so it’s no more work for us.
6:45 pm - Time for a bath! H cleans up supper, cleans the litter boxes (we have 3) and starts some laundry while I take L and get her cleaned up.
7 pm - All finished in the bath. We head downstairs and hang out until L is ready for sleep. I mostly scroll my phone and H plays on his Rog Ally. L climbs the couch and me and scoots around on the floor hunting for different treasures.
8:40 pm - L is ready for bed. I put her down and read some more KU
10 pm - H and I head to bed. I washed and dried a baby quilt to bring to work in the morning for a coworker.
Day 6 Total: $35.01 for H’s lunch. I spend $0, and ‘make’ $100
—
Day 7 - Thursday
6:35 am - The first alarm goes off. It’s a new one on the phone and nice to wake up to! L doesn’t want to wake up and she grumbles and rolls around.
7 am - We all get out of bed. I get L dressed while H packs up what he needs for the day. I get her milk together and they’re out the door by 7:15
7:50 am - I leave the house. After H and L left, I did the dishes and packed up my stuff for the day. Made a smoothie for breakfast (yoghurt, flax seed, orange, banana, rhubarb jam, frozen berries, watermelon, cranberry juice and milk) and there’s lots left over so I pop that into the fridge for tomorrow. I need gas in the work truck, so I head there before going to the office. I have a fuel card so I don’t spend any $ on fuel.
8:30 am - Get to the office and it’s time to make a coffee. I have some things to get done before my webinar at 11 am.
9 am - I show the quilt to my coworker, she loves it and buys it! (+$100)
11 am - Oops. I didn’t get the login link earlier and don’t know who to contact to get it so no webinar for me. I scroll Reddit and my socials and work a bit more on my cycle times. I snack on some grapes and drink another coffee.
1 pm - Lunch time! I’m having leftover skillet Dijon chicken and macaroni. It is still delicious, that recipe is going into the rotation for sure! H goes to McDonalds for lunch and spends $35.66. He bought a coworker lunch as well, she was having a rough day.
2 pm - Chat with a few coworkers about different projects/things we need to think of for this next year.
3 pm - I have an afternoon pick-me-up snack of Brookside pomegranate-flavoured chocolate and a ginger ale.
4:30 pm - I’m tired and don’t feel like doing anything else. I leave the office and call H to see what we should do for supper. We decide on potstickers and veggies, I’ll start cooking when I get home. I stop and check the mail on my way home too.
5:45 pm - H and L arrive home. I take L into the spare room and we call my mum and grandma for a video chat. L rolls around the bed and shows off how she’s almost standing!
6:10 pm - We sit down to eat, L isn’t that interested in either the potstickers or veggies so we pull out some leftover macaroni and she goes to town on that.
7 pm - Bath time! H cleans up and does some more laundry. It just seems to never end.
7:30 pm - Bedtime for L. I read some of my book while I put her down.
8:30 pm - SIL texts again to borrow $50. I send it over out of my spending. I get all of the borders cut for the custom quilt.
9 pm - H has SING on so I sit down to watch it, he’s also playing his Rog Aloy and I’m reading some more of my book.
10 pm - We go to bed.
Day 7 Total: $35.66 for H’s lunch. I spend $50, and ‘make’ $100
—
Weekly Expenses:

• Food + Drink: 575.09
• Fun/Entertainment: $0
• Home + Health: $38.78 (includes gas for lawn mower)
• Clothes + Beauty: $200.45
• Transport/Vehicle Expenses: $328.41
• Other: $496.30 (CC payment, photoshoot, TFSA and $ to SIL)

Total Spending: $1639.03
Reflection:

• This was a more expensive week for sure. I don’t usually spend money on clothes and the photo shoot deposit was a random impulsive spend. The vehicle expenses were also a bit different, usually, they’re budgeted for but not this time.
• Honestly surprised we didn’t order dinner at least once this week - usually we do!
• Events-wise, it was a typical week except for the mountain hike, those are not part of my usual work day. This time of year is slow and mostly involves prep for the coming winter.
• This was a fun experiment to write! I did have to cut some things as my word count kept increasing and I didn’t want it to be too long - is this too long even still? Too much detail on baby routines?

I plan to install NextCloud AIO in a LMDE VM in Unraid. I just like LMDE. I will create the VM in my cache and make it 50GBs. I will also install 2x2tb HDDs and use unassigned devices to pass them through to the VM. This I’ve all got nailed down.
Here is where I would love some insight. Once the two HDDs are visible in the VM, I am hoping to mirror them and then use that mirror for the NextCloud storage area. This way the VM is on the cache drive and the storage is on the mirrored disks but it is all easily managed and happy inside one little operating system. Is this possible, and if so, can anyone shed some light on how?
Thanks in advance.

Exploring AWS SES's Email Management Capabilities

In the digital era, where email communications are pivotal for business operations, managing and storing these emails efficiently becomes crucial. Amazon Web Services (AWS) offers a suite of solutions to tackle this, particularly through its Simple Email Service (SES). SES is designed to facilitate not just the sending but also the receiving and storing of emails, a feature especially beneficial for businesses looking to streamline their email management processes. The possibility of integrating SES with Amazon S3 for email storage proposes a seamless solution for handling large volumes of email data, ensuring accessibility and security.
However, with great functionality comes the question of scalability and limitations. As businesses grow, the volume of emails received can increase exponentially, raising concerns about potential throttling and the ability of AWS SES to handle such surge without compromising performance. Understanding the nuances of AWS SES's email receiving capabilities, including any limitations or throttling mechanisms in place, is essential for organizations planning to rely on this service for their email management needs. This examination aims to shed light on these aspects, providing clarity on how AWS SES manages the influx of emails and integrates with S3 for efficient email storage.

Command	Description
AWS SES Receive Rule Set	Defines a rule set for handling incoming emails in AWS SES
AWS S3 Bucket	Stores email received through SES, acting as a repository
Lambda Function	Processes and filters incoming emails as per business logic

Exploring AWS SES Email Reception and Storage Solutions

AWS Simple Email Service (SES) offers a powerful, flexible solution for managing email communication. Beyond sending emails, SES is adept at receiving emails, which can then be programmatically processed and stored in AWS S3 buckets. This functionality is pivotal for businesses looking to automate email handling, be it for archival purposes, customer support ticketing systems, or processing email-based workflows. By utilizing AWS SES for email reception, companies can leverage AWS's robust infrastructure to handle high volumes of email traffic efficiently. This process involves configuring SES to accept emails for specific domains or email addresses and then applying a rule set that directs these emails to an S3 bucket. The integration with S3 allows for the secure, scalable storage of email data, which can be further processed or analyzed as required.
The configuration of SES to route emails to S3 involves setting up a rule set that defines the actions to be taken when an email is received. This includes specifying the S3 bucket where emails will be stored and any additional processing options, such as email content scanning or applying Lambda functions for custom processing logic. Furthermore, AWS SES provides options for handling email bounces and complaints, which are critical for maintaining sender reputation. The seamless integration between SES and other AWS services enables developers to build sophisticated email processing workflows that can scale with their application's needs. By leveraging AWS SES and S3 together, businesses can create a robust infrastructure for email management that capitalizes on the reliability and scalability of AWS cloud services.

Configuring AWS SES to S3 Email Reception

AWS Management Console Configuration

1. Navigate to AWS SES Dashboard 2. Select "Email Receiving" from the menu 3. Create a new rule set if none exists 4. Define a rule: specify recipients and actions 5. Action: "S3 - Store in an S3 bucket" 6. Specify S3 bucket details 7. Optionally, add a Lambda function for processing 8. Review and activate the rule set 9. Monitor incoming emails in the S3 bucket 10. Setup notifications or triggers for new emails 

Exploring AWS SES Email Reception and Storage Capabilities

Amazon Web Services (AWS) Simple Email Service (SES) is a cloud-based email sending and receiving service designed to help digital marketers and application developers send marketing, notification, and transactional emails. A less commonly explored but equally powerful feature is its ability to receive emails. This capability can be particularly useful for businesses looking to automate email processing workflows or archive incoming emails for compliance or record-keeping purposes. The process involves setting up a rule in SES that specifies what happens to incoming emails, such as storing them in an Amazon S3 bucket or triggering a Lambda function to process the email data.
The integration of AWS SES with other AWS services like Amazon S3 for storage and AWS Lambda for processing offers a robust solution for email management. For example, businesses can automatically save all incoming customer service emails to a designated S3 bucket. This not only provides a reliable storage solution but also allows for advanced data processing and analysis. Using AWS Lambda, emails can be automatically scanned for specific keywords or phrases, triggering alerts or automated responses. This level of automation can significantly improve operational efficiency and customer response times. However, implementing such a system requires a good understanding of AWS SES, Amazon S3, and possibly AWS Lambda, including how to set up the necessary permissions and configurations.

Frequently Asked Questions About AWS SES and Email Handling

1. Question: Can AWS SES receive emails?
2. Answer: Yes, AWS SES can be configured to receive emails, which can then be processed or stored in an Amazon S3 bucket.
3. Question: How do I store incoming emails in an Amazon S3 bucket?
4. Answer: To store incoming emails in an S3 bucket, you must create a receipt rule in AWS SES. This rule will specify the S3 bucket where emails should be stored.
5. Question: Is it possible to process incoming emails with AWS Lambda?
6. Answer: Yes, by setting a rule action in AWS SES to trigger a Lambda function, you can process incoming emails according to your business logic.
7. Question: Can I filter which emails are stored or processed?
8. Answer: Yes, SES allows you to set conditions in the receipt rules, enabling you to filter emails based on various criteria such as sender, recipient, or subject.
9. Question: Are there any limitations to the size of emails that can be processed?
10. Answer: AWS SES has a limit on the size of incoming emails, including attachments, which can be processed. It's important to check the current SES documentation for specific limits.

Enhancing Email Management and Automation with AWS SES

As we delve into the capabilities of AWS SES for email reception and storage, it becomes evident that this service offers more than just email sending functionalities. The integration with Amazon S3 for storage and AWS Lambda for processing provides a comprehensive solution for managing incoming communications. This setup not only facilitates the archiving of messages for compliance and record-keeping but also opens up possibilities for automating email response systems and analyzing content for insights. For businesses looking to streamline their email management processes, AWS SES presents a versatile and powerful tool. However, harnessing the full capabilities of AWS SES, Amazon S3, and AWS Lambda requires a thorough understanding of each service's setup, configuration, and best practices. By setting up the necessary rules and permissions, businesses can significantly improve their operational efficiency, customer response times, and overall communication strategies. In conclusion, AWS SES stands as a pivotal component in the modern digital communication ecosystem, providing the means to efficiently manage, process, and store emails in a scalable and cost-effective manner.
https://www.tempmail.us.com/en/aws-ses/managing-email-inflow-aws-ses-s-approach-to-s3-integration

WARNING: Very long narrative of my life and past experiences:

TL;DR:
I just wanted to try and make sense of life recently. A little backstory. My mom (54 at the time) moved in with my partner, myself and our two girls (3 and 1) in August 2023 after her rental property had been sold and she was forced to relocate by September 1, 2023. She had nowhere to go and was not allowed to live with my brother and his wife in the mother-in-law quarters, due to everything that has happened financially with her, so she had to live with me.
Now, she had a year's notice of needing to move, and being allowed to terminate the lease at any time without penalty should she have the desire or ability to vacate sooner. She had to be out by 9/1/2023. So, leading up to this, it's the house I moved into with her as well as my brother then we first relocated to South Florida from Indiana in 2017. That was the house that we called home in Florida. It's the only place my mom knew as her home.
I met my partner in March of 2019 and we found out three months into dating that he had to move back to his home town 4 hours north of where we were. He had a new job and was going back to be near his family. I understood, seeing as we hadn't met yet when he made these plans and seeing as I moved long distance (1200 miles) away from all of my family, my friends, my hometown, everything I ever knew and grew up around. That is what Tampa was to him. I began traveling to visit him because at the time I was a full time college student and was able to. He paid my way and I either took the train or drove my car. More back story: My mom floated around a couple jobs trying to find one that wasn't terrible and also was flexible with my health needs and needing to miss school/go to the D have tests/procedures done. My brother and I eventually switched to virtual learning. I completed sophomore to senior year and he did 8th-12th virtual. It was much easier with the entire situation. Not including the craziness of my dad, who was an alcoholic and violent/abusive, mostly verbal to us but everything to my mom. My parents separated in 2007 and were divorced in 2008. My mom was a stay at home our entire life up until they were separated. My dad didn't want us in daycare or with nannies and didn't want us riding the bus once we were older. Even though we were in a very safe neighborhood, and it was actually a very great school system.
Anyway, my mom had to start her life over and floated between jobs, eventually landing as a secretary/assistant in a realtor's office. My mom eventually was tasked with doing house cleanings for their rental properties. Now, even being 2010, the pay was way worse than it should have been. Honestly, my mom had no idea what it would be like doing house cleaning, specifically move out rental property cleanings, which are the worst of the worst. I'm talking bed bugs, maggots, mice, mold, feces, you name it, we saw it. So after doing a couple and realizing it made more than the hourly wage she was making as the receptionist , she decided to do both full time. Now, my brother and I, who at the time were very young, like 11 and 13, started helping My mom at cleanings to make it faster plus she didn't want us alone all the time. We were doing virtual school so it wasn't an issue. There were a couple times before I was in online school where I took off and went and helped her work because I just hated school and my teachers etc because of everything going on with my body. I didn't enjoy it but didn't hate it. It was nice on days where we were able to finish earlier and it wasn't totally disgusting. Plus we were able to spend time together at times. We also got paid typically same day or next day via check so it was great to secure the money. My mom continued this until the office laid her off then she branched off on her own and started a cleaning service in later 2010/2011. My mom became used to us helping her and decided we needed to do this and help her so that she finished faster and would get paid. She also said she couldn't by food if we didn't work because we were living paycheck to paycheck and that she couldn't do it by herself. She told us that she never wanted us to have to get jobs in middle school or high school because she wanted us to focus on our school. Yet we ended up working for her all the time, being paid $0 cash in hand for doing it and instead getting rewarded with fast food, groceries and the bills paid. We did take a family vacation in 2011 that was nice. We also faced a couple hardships around this time. My grandpa (her father) died in 2010 after fighting months of terrible living after having a stroke in 2009. He bounced in and out of the hospital vs a nursing home. Then we lost our dog in 2011, which we had only just gotten back from my dad for 2 years or so, she was 12 when she suddenly became, I'll and passed naturally at the vet.
Anyway, even though now, in hindsight, we would have been better off if my mom could have managed to clean alone or have hired someone, then one or both my brother and I could have gotten jobs somewhere to have cash ourselves but also help with the bills if needed. I did later on, like at age 15, nanny for my neighbor for a couple years as well as working for her tanning salon for a couple months.
Now continue onto 2014, earlier in the year, we had a foreclosure scare where police showed up to escort us off and gave us an hour to gather our belongings and the rest would be for later or locked up with the red ball movers. I was called panicked by my mother that I needed to get there or I would lose my stuff. I guess she didn't know what I wanted or needed. I'm not sure. I was at the tanning salon, which was located at the back of my neighborhood. It just so happened that right before she called, the owner's stepson had showed up to tan. I had to rush out and tell him while he was in the tanning booth that it was an emergency and leave the shop. We ended up talking to my dad and he spoke to whoever and they said it was a misunderstanding and left. We ended up being given a timeline of end of July to be out. This is the home I lived in from 6 to almost 19. It was my childhood home. Both my parents were on the mortgage. We had been forced to move out when my parents divorced so that my dad and his gf could move in. Supposedly to renovate and sell it. Instead, he called us one day approximately 2 years later and said we needed to move in or he would let it go to foreclosure since he couldn't or didn't want to sell it. He did not renovate it at all. Of course, me being a child still, was super happy to have my home back. Now, I'm not sure how my mom felt but with the divorce and the messed up child support issues and unfair court hearing and everything else that happened between them. I had to always get in the middle between them, because he would get in a cursing match with my mother so she didn't want to speak to him. So I had to message anytime bills were due and we needed money, to get money for fast food, groceries, for shipping or small travel trips in town to a hotel etc,. I was always in the middle. Now originally, my dad said he didn't want me involved and I shouldn't be etc, but later on he would only talk to me or my brother as well, mainly myself seeing as I was the oldest. I also had to start taking care of bills for him as well.
So, continue onward, my dad paid the rent/mortgage my whole life, aside from when he put our house payment on hold for his deployment with the navy and then later on the payments had to be made and he couldn't. I think they wanted a lot of money up front, but he didn't have it and it kept accruing so we eventually were foreclosed on. Now, both my parents had poor credit, and my mom didn't make much money or have really any way to prove her income since it was cash and personal checks, not direct deposit. My dad made over $100k a year but was terrible with money and alcoholism and also didn't want to pay bills, only the fun things. He would only pay bills when they were two and three months late and would threaten cancelling or eviction. He paid for our rent at the new place until we moved to Florida in 2017. He also in between that, bought us a couple cars, used, a lot of miles, but ran and were mostly reliable. He had taken some money out of his retirement for up front purchase or later just did payments with buy here pay here. He paid the rent and car but again, it was always late and with fees and threatening to evict. It was always very stressful not knowing what would happen as well as having our phones randomly shut off.
We wanted to move to Florida for college. We could have gone to a state school in Indiana but I was always cold due to anemia and sick all the time from weather changes, so Florida was promising. My dad was very against it and fought us tooth and nail. Eventually after many fights, he agreed. He paid the first, last and security for us to move and cosigned the lease to help us get approved. The rent was late every month the entire time we all or eventually, just for my mom to live there until she moved out in 2023. On the positive, my brother met and is now married to his wife and I met and am now with my partner (we both met our S.O in 2019 and have been with them ever since). I have two beautiful girls that I am so happy and lucky to have. My partner and I rescued a dog together in 2020 right before our oldest was born, but sadly in 2022 he passed away very suddenly from lymphoma that showed up 2 days before he had to be put down. We were visiting my mom with him in South Florida when it happened.
Now let's get back to the beginning. My mom has lived with myself, my partner, and our two kids since August 2023. She moved in with us because my brother and his wife would not allow her to move in with them. In the very beginning I assumed it was because his wife was kind of territorial and private and also would have her parents come visit from Brazil time and time again and stay for months at a time. So I figured she didn't want my mom there as well. Later on it came to light in my own head that the reason was for the same reason that we were now stuck. That she was not making enough money doing cleanings. Even with her charging more than what she was previously charging in South Florida and even though she made even more than she made when she first started in 2010, she was still not surviving. She has not survived the entire time. She's done this. She's never been able to afford all of her bills and when my brother and I were in school starting in 2015, we would use our school money that we got from the VA with the GI Bill, which was monthly, as well as the money that we got with our school refunds for taking out loans to the max amount and then using the refund amount after we paid for books and supplies and if we wanted something extra, we would pay for bills like car insurance, 6 months at a time for my mom and helping with other household bills. We had two cars at the time. The one car we went and purchased after selling my little car that we use to move to Florida in and my mom had sold her cheap SUV in Indiana before we moved. We took that 1100 hours from my little car and put it towards a different car that cost $6,900. That was a Nissan Altima with a lot lower mileage and ran really well. I used my school money, and my brother used his school money, and we used the $1100 from the car and we paid off the car in full and that was going to be my car, but I was going to let my mom and brother use it until we were able to figure something out and get another car. Well, a little after that my dad decided to get me a car so we decided to gift that car to my mom. So I rarely drove that car maybe three times. My brother drove it more than me but he used to drive to and from school and he used it also for going to work later on at Jiu-Jitsu which is also where he like to train several times a week. Now. Continue this on living in South Florida, we still worked all the time. Sometimes every single day with my mom. Up until we both started having lives as our significant others. We still never got paid. Very rarely. Maybe two or three times. Did we actually get cash, the rest of it was just paying for our living etc.
So now with my mom living with me, we only live in a two-bedroom townhouse. So she had to take our daughter's room. So now our two girls live in our bedroom, and she has the other bedroom. Our girls have limited play space because it is not a large townhouse. It's only about 1,200 square feet. But it's a split level because it's two stories so it's even less space. We have an outside patio but at the time that was being filled to the brim with her boxes, which now after almost an entire year she's gotten rid of most of her belongings to the trash or donations and only has very few left. Originally we had all planned on her being out within 3 months but that didn't happen because she didn't get a job anywhere except just continuing doing cleanings. Which even working 5 days a week. Unless she worked 8 or 9 hours she does not make enough money to survive, let alone save up money, pay off debt to build credit, and be able to get the chance to actually purchase a house or obtain a rental property. Property. So she's been living with us and still is and everyday has gotten worse and worse because she just stays in that tiny box of a room for all of her meals and spends all of her time in there. Unless she's gone working. A lot of times she will take one or both of my daughters and play with them in that room on the Xbox or whatever. Watching TV or a movie but very rarely do they go outside because we don't have a fence and my mom doesn't want to deal with it. My mom spends all time in that room because of the fact that she has two dogs that also are here that live with her and stay in that room because I have bad dog allergies to most dog breeds so she doesn't want to have the dogs downstairs infecting my area. So she only has them down here as little as possible which is usually when she goes to and from letting them outside or when she's making something to eat. It's made it worse for her because she's turning into a hermit crab situation. She never leaves. She goes to work and comes back and goes in that room and stays. She doesn't have any money to go anywhere or do anything. She doesn't have any health insurance. Doesn't have any way to do anything. Doesn't have any chance to pay off debt, instead. It's just accruing more. She cannot pay to take the kids anywhere like ice cream or to food or whatever, so you could take him to a park but a lot of times it's hot and she just doesn't want to mess with it. My mom has had off and on like bad health issues. Just you know nothing debilitating but just issues with her body like arthritis and other things that have been caused because of her 14 years of doing cleanings with heavy chemicals and not wearing masks or gloves. It takes a toll on your body and it's very hard to deal with. But I just don't know where to turn to which is why I'm here. And I'm sure this sounds like a big rambling fit, but it's very hard for me to try to piece all this together to actually make it make sense. I have constant guilt feeling like I am not taking care of my mom. I'm currently a stay-at-home mom to a one and 3-year-old and feel like I should go and get a full-time night job after my husband gets home from work during the day so that I can help support my mom and help her get a house. My mom has no credit to do so and has had no credit for 15 plus years.
There is tons of debt on her credit that needs to be paid off but she feels it's a lost cause. I have taken the time to build up my credit and also had her on my credit card and then authorized user for 3 years which is helping her solely keep her credit come getting lower. I feel like I can't even trust her to watch the kids all day because she said if it's a full-time job then she can't even afford to live because she's not working herself unless I pay her. Which I can't do that unless I get a really high paying job. But she doesn't even make a lot of money right now. In the past months since she's been back she's only worked 2 days for a total of like 8 hours. She does not want to work in person. She had bad experiences in the past which I know was only about 3 or 4 years of her life because the rest of it was stay-at-home mom from like when I was a baby until obviously now. So she only worked 5 years before I was born and then she worked 3 years later on when we were in. You know middle school high school age. She hasn't had a ton of time and you know that 3-year span of when we were older to even hate jobs enough, but something happened between that and everything she went through with my dad to where she doesn't want to work in person. She doesn't like how she looks right now. She's never liked getting her haircut in person even when she had the money too years and years ago when I was a child. Even when my parents were still married. She doesn't like it. She doesn't like looking in the mirror. She doesn't like making small talk. It just makes her nervous. I have a feeling that there is some sort of childhood trauma and or mental health issues that are going on that are causing all these anxiety and panic attack issues to where she can't work. She tells me that she works in person that it's going to suck and her life's going to be terrible. She makes comments about being suicidal and she says that she would be nauseous everyday going to work. She tries to ration and say that if she went to work somewhere even only a 20-minute drive away that if she's doing that everyday it's going to damage her car and put more wear and tear on it that she can't afford to fix. But right now she'll drive sometimes 40 minutes away to do a cleaning, she even drives to South Florida which is a 5-hour drive, today's with my brother at his house and then we'll work 2 days while she's there and only bring in like $150 and then drive back. Which the gas is not barely covered by that as well as her food while she's there and everything else she does while she's in South Florida. So she's putting all that wear and tear but the money she's making is not even making up for it. Now. I know she likes visiting my brother too and it also gets her out of my smaller house seeing as he has a fence in yard for her dogs and he has a mother-in-law quarters which is where she stays. But I feel like I don't know where to turn. If I tell her to get a job. She says she's already suicidal and that it makes her more suicidal if I mention it and that I'm basically driving her off a cliff. She makes comments like this all the time. She's always in a bad headspace. She makes comments in front of my children like this. Then she needs suicide or other comments and I do not like that because they're very little and even though they don't know what that means, I don't want them mentioning it to someone else. Sometimes she gets an attitude and says she doesn't want to watch my kids even though it'll be only once a week for a date night and I don't expect her to do it all the time. Sometimes it's not even every week. One time I had her babysit for 3 hours so I could go work somewhere doing a quick child care job and she got upset when she found out it wasn't a doctor's appointment but I told her up front that it was for working but she just was upset by it because in her eyes I shouldn't be going to work and making her watch my kids. Even though she is completely 100% against daycare of any kind and said that it's very dangerous and that so many kids get hurt or die and that I cannot put myself or my kids in that danger to go and work somewhere else. Now My partner and I could use the money. It would help us be able to move out of this house quicker rather than waiting another year to year and a half. It would help us be able to have more money to afford things to do with our children but also buying them things they need without feeling like we're pinching money. My dad currently sends me about $150 a week every week and has done that since my mom moved in last August. He's doing that to help out in case she accrues any cost that we have to cover. Like if I buy dog food for her dogs or if I buy her food. Even though my parents despise each other. My dad still wants to keep her fed and make sure she's taken care of and still calls her a good mother instead of when they get in fights. He could say something nasty to me but doesn't. My dad is definitely not a good person, but I'm starting to think that my mom has a lot of demons too. Now just tell me where to turn because I don't know what to do because I feel guilt over everything involving my mom. I feel like I can't say anything to her without it causing a fight and she screams at me. She slams doors like a child. She will go and sit in her car even in 100° heat either with it on or off sometimes for 2 hours and not even have a drink out there with her just because she doesn't want to come inside. She will tell me that I'm the one causing all the fights. My partner has seen her start fights with me and scream at me, my brother has noticed it. She will say thanks to my brother but then she will say thanks to me that are completely different or completely exaggerated. She will tell me. Oh yeah, she can watch the kids whenever I want, but then she'll tell my brother that it's terrible and that she feels like she's doing it all the time and has no relief from it. She very rarely helps around the house except cleaning dishes or vacuuming sometimes or picking up toys. The room she stays in a lot of times has trash overflowing in her small trash can because of all the meals she eats up there and all the drinks she brings up there. At times. She'll argue and say that the kids spill her drink but they spill her drink because they have access to it because she'll leave it down low or they can reach it. We don't even like to have food and drink upstairs in our house but because that's the only place she'll ever eat, we allowed her to do it. But then it's hard because our kids will ask to eat upstairs and we'll tell them no that we're not supposed to have food upstairs. But then they don't understand because they see Grandma do it everyday. So it's a very tough situation. Now. She's gotten to the point where if my brother and I talk and we talk about stuff she said and we can front her on it. She gets very upset because she doesn't like that. We are talking about her and says that we're talking behind her back about her instead of telling it to her face. She called my brother out on something one day that she had said and he proved to her that it was wrong and that she was saying something. Even though she tried to tell me one thing and tell him another. She always tries to depend it on someone else and say oh well. This person said that and then that person said this. I don't think she's doing any of it to be malicious but I think it's like almost she hears that in her mind so then that's what she says. Something happened recently with my dad and she went after she found out about it and told my aunt about it. Who is my mom's sister. None of these people care about my dad. None of them like my dad. Obviously I get it. He's done so many things, but it's the fact that my mom would go and talk about this drama just because she's interested in it or it thinks her you know whatever. Maybe she thinks it's funny. But it's just frustrating and I called her out on it and said it wasn't any of her business to share and she got upset and said oh well. Maybe it's a secret I guess whatever. Everything always ends in a sarcastic remark a lot of times. Recently she said something to my daughter and I didn't like it and I asked her not to say it which I've told other relatives in the past to not say things either. But she's the only one that has said it so badly. That would be sarcastic and then later on wouldn't even play with my daughter without being sarcastic again and saying oh we're going to get in trouble for that even though it was nothing that was actually bad. She was just saying that because she was mad of what I said earlier.
We are at the point where we're going to start charging her rent because lo and behold we have not charged her a single dime since she's been here. Even with us. Also providing occasional dog food, snacks, food for the house, etc. For her if she needed it. There was times that we floated her bills when she was in South Florida, my partner would because I didn't have a job at the time and I wasn't getting school money anymore. After I graduated. . And then I would text my dad even though he's not even really in the picture except when he was paying rent doesn't even owe us child support anymore really. He would still give grocery money for her so she'd have groceries. So here I am now at the ripe old age of almost 29, not knowing what to do, and feeling very guilty. If I want to go purchase buy one get one free perfume without giving one of them to her. Or feeling guilty if I hang out with my sister-in-law who's my age because I don't have anyone else that's close to my age. And I don't have any friends over here yet because I only had friends from college in South Florida and all of my other friends were in Indiana. I feel guilty because my mom's left out. I feel guilty if I go somewhere like if we had the opportunity to go to Indiana or if we had the opportunity to go to Disney world or Disney springs over in Orlando, my mother-in-law lives near there, I will feel guilty that my mom can't go. Even though she probably wouldn't even want to go and even though it's not even involving her, I would still feel guilty. If I go and get a gym membership with my partner, I'm going to feel very guilty about my mom not going, especially if I ever ask her to babysit for us. Because I feel like she wants to go to the gym too. But she doesn't have the income to go because she's not working well. She's not making enough money from what she was doing working. She can work and at one time was working almost every single day but just wasn't making enough to survive which is what my brother and I have tried to explain to her. So now since we've pretty much almost forced her to go and get a real job or at least start looking for one that's not just remote, she's very upset with us and doesn't want to speak to us anymore. She feels like she has nowhere to turn but that she has to still live with me because he won't let her live there because he knows that she would just live there for free.
My brother is in a way better position than me because he doesn't have children right now, his wife has a lot of money and is working, and he is making over 100K a year right now as a programmer and can support her. He is promised to help her within the next 6 months to a year get a house but said that she needs to be working somewhere. That's not cleaning because he wants her to prove that she can actually afford to pay the rent or the mortgage. He doesn't mind helping cosine and he even doesn't mind helping her pay first, last and security. But he does not want to be footing the bill every month for her bills. He was paying all of her bills or most of them every month in South Florida because my dad was supposed to but would come up with excuses not to and my mom didn't have more than $100 or $200 a month to contribute to the rent. So then my brother would have to pay the rest because I wasn't working. Now when we both were getting school money we were able to take care of everything. We took care of all the car insurance for like 2 years for my mom. She didn't pay one dime. You'd also pay for other incidentals too like random TV expenses or going to a hotel or paying for fast food etc. Now. My partner and I would really love for us to be able to get that bedroom back so that our children can actually sleep in their own room and we can actually do things in our room like stay awake and talk without waking up our kids or watch a movie together or whatever we want and not have to feel like we have to go downstairs, especially if we're tired. But right now we can't do that. But if I feel like I need to tell her she has to leave she doesn't have a job and hasn't saved any money even though she's been here almost a year which originally her intent was she was supposed to be saving money and working so that she could move. But that hasn't happened and I don't know when it will happen. It feels like everything is just repeated and repeating. It's been repeating since 2010 and I don't know how to make it any better. I always feel like it's my fault somehow and that I need to fix it that I've always had to be the fixer and that I'm parenting my parent. It sucks because I hate feeling that way, I hate the way the guilt has made me feel. I hate the way that my mom and I have a relationship now. That's worse when she's here but better when she leaves. We're actually able to tolerate each other and talk to each other because it's not about bills or her living with us or the fact that she needs to get a job. We just talk about things that we normally talk about. But when she's here we just go to world war 3 sometimes and it's terrible. It's not a good look for us. It's not good for my kids to be around, my oldest is getting scared of the fights and gets upset and tries to talk everybody down. That should not be put on her at this age. I went through that when I was a kid, and it should not be on her.
Obviously, I have issues too but my mom does not want to go to therapy even though the only therapy she ever had was court ordered and I told her this would be completely different. I also told her that everyone should have therapy because it's better than trying to just rant to your family. I know that she has a lot of stress and built-up anger and resentment for everything that's going on and feels like she doesn't know where to turn. I know that my mom feels like that she has failed even though she works really hard. She's failing by not being able to survive but she just doesn't want to admit it. I just don't honestly know what to do or where to go. And if you talk to my brother he says oh well if she doesn't want to pay rent and she just moves out and lives in her car. That's on her. But she's not in her right mind. What normal person wants to live in their car. Why would a normal person want to threaten putting their 13-year-old dog that they've had that entire time into a shelter rather than give it to their son or daughter. It doesn't make any sense, but I just honestly don't know where to turn to. I do not want to feel like I'm forcing my mom to leave, and I know if I ask her to pay rent, she's going to say she doesn't have the money to pay rent because truthfully, she can't even barely pay her $130 car insurance. Something happened with the phone plan with my dad and now we're going to have to get off of it. She doesn't have the money for that. We have to pay off the phones that we had on a monthly payment with my dad. He's been paying it my entire life with us not contributing one dime. And that includes my mom. She's still on his plan and so are my brother and I. But something happened. So my brother and I are going to pay off our phones and transfer to T-Mobile. We don't want my mom on our plan even if that line is free because we don't want the risk of her having to owe money and not have it and us have to foot the bill every month. And it sucks that we have to even act like that but that's just how it is. If we talk about the phone situation and try to help her. She gets very upset and doesn't want to talk about it and says that we're trying to tell her what to do and control her..
This is how all of our conversations go basically. We try to say one thing and she'll misconstrue it as another. Such as when she was seeing this guy for a year and a half and then she stopped talking to him and then she started talking to him again and I told her that I wanted her to be happy and that if she wanted to make it work with him and if that meant she had to be in South Florida then she could. Because flashback to win I first had my child she would come and visit off and on and stay here and I'd go stay there and I always told her she should move to the side of the state because it's cheaper and there's More work opportunities and she'd be able to be near her grandchildren. Now. She wouldn't have moved here if she wasn't forced to but she moved here because of the bad situation she got put in. But she tells everyone that I forced her to move here and that it's my fault. Even though she literally was end of lease and they were not resigning and had nowhere to go. She had no credit. No job, no money saved. Basically, nothing to her name except $100. We had to foot the bill for the moving truck so that she could move to bring all of her stuff here and we hadn't split the bill to open up a storage unit. But then he ended up having tons of issues and not being able to move and not getting a job. So eventually the storage unit had to get paid month after month by my partner and I. And then we had to sell all of our stuff and take the rest of our house which eventually, led to it being trashed/ donated except for what she decided to keep. I know her life is tough in that small room and that she doesn't even have a closet because I use it for my kids. And she can't have a dresser because we already have a dresser in there for my kids. But my daughter starts school in August and she's never been in school before and we really wanted them to have their own room back by then but it's just not happening, and it makes me and my partner sad. But then I feel worse if I try to say that my mom needs to leave because I feel like I'm forcing her to go and get a job where she doesn't want to and that it's my fault and the situation is my fault and that it's my fault. I don't have a bigger house that she could have lived in with us for longer and she always said in the past that she wanted us to all live in the same house together and just have it be bigger. And I don't know if that's because we could all be close together or if it's because she wanted us to support her. I don't know. I really don't know where to turn to. I don't know what to do. I don't know what's right. I don't know what's wrong. From what I know financially after trying to fix myself and seeing my partner who's very financially responsible. I know that she should get a job and that would help her get her retirement built up. That would help her be able to get in medical insurance, dental insurance, vision be able to do frivolous things like shopping or getting her hair done or whatever she wants to do nails whatever. Be able to go and visit friends. She doesn't even go into situations right now where she can meet friends. And a lot of times she goes on a date with a guy that she knows is probably not going to be someone she's attracted to but I feel like she does it because she wants a man to support her so she can move in with them. She always said that her and her ex-boyfriend didn't work out because he didn't want to move in with her and be stuck paying half or all of the bills for her. And that he wanted to just live in his RV in her driveway or else live in his RV somewhere else and then her or him to come visit.
Can someone tell me what I should do or give me insight? Or basically just tell me I'm not the crazy person. I just need an outside perspective because the other people I asked or my in-laws or my partner and I can't talk about it with anyone in my immediate family such as my mom's siblings or my mom's parent because of the fact that she doesn't want anyone to know the true situation of how she's been like this. The entire time that I have been a middle schooler. That none of the bills have been able to be paid and that there's not been any money, and everything's been reliant on my dad and my brother and me. My brother called her out on it a little bit ago and now she doesn't even want to speak to him. So just tell me that I'm not the crazy person that needs daily therapy or hell. Maybe I do need therapy and it's just to fix the things that have been controlled and put into my brain by my parents when I was a child up to now. There are so many more things in my life that happened that I can't even put on here that I can't even begin to describe because it would take me years...
TL;DR: I am living with my mom 54F, who is currently barely making any money with her 14-year cleaning service and cannot afford food for herself, her dogs, and pay her car insurance. She lives with my partner, myself and our 2 young kids in a 2 bed 1 1/2 bath split level townhouse, living in our kid's bedroom. The kids live in our bedroom and have since August 2023. She does not want to do any type of in-person work and loves being able to take time off as she pleases to travel to visit my brother (26 M) in south Florida and not have a boss to ask permission. She said she would consider a remote job but makes a million excuses for that as well. Basically, she does not want to work anywhere aside from the minimal she does with cleaning. I want my children's room back but don't want to force my mom to move-out seeing as she has nowhere to go but her car, unless she gets a full-time job in South Florida, then she can stay with my brother temporarily. He doesn't want to end up stuck with her as I have been. If I try to charge my mom rent for the first time since her living here for almost a year, she will say she is suicidal and scream at me/start an argument and will threaten to live in her car. What is the best way to handle this and how to I do it without feeling immense guilt, to the point of having nightmares that keep me up and keep my mind wandering?
Edit: When we were kids, once my parents separated, my mom would have us sell things of my dad's even if we might have used it at some point, just for a bit of cash toward some bills or fast food and to spite him. She would not ask him to take it, just sell it. Now, the things taking up half of our garage such as projects he was starting but never going to finish or TONS of tools, she had us sell in a garage sale after asking him to remove them. He didn't have the space in an apartment. I bet my brother would have loved to have those tools, a lot of them new or newer and always kept in the giant, stainless steel toolbox. I think we sold the toolbox and all the tools for $100, and my mom made us do it. She did not come outside. We were kids. I also had to try and sell a car without my mom present as a younger child. She was home for both of these occurrences.

WARNING: Very long narrative of my life and past experiences:
I just wanted to try and make sense of life recently. A little backstory. My mom (54 at the time) moved in with my partner, myself and our two girls ( 3 and 1) in August 2023 after her rental property had been sold and she was forced to relocate by September 1, 2023. She had nowhere to go and was not allowed to live with my brother and his wife in the mother in law quarters, due to everything that has happened financially with her, so she had to live with me.
Now, she had a year's notice of needing to move, and being allowed to terminate the lease at any time without penalty should she have the desire or ability to vacate sooner. She had to be out by 9/1/2023. So leading up to this, it's the house I moved into with her as well as my brother then we first relocated to South Florida from Indiana in 2017. That was the house that we called home in Florida. It's the only place my mom knew as her home.
I met my partner in March of 2019 and we found out three months into dating that he had to move back to his home town 4 hours north of where we were. He had a new job and was going back to be near his family. I understood, seeing as we hadn't met yet when he made these plans and seeing as I moved long distance (1200 miles) away from all of my family, my friends, my hometown, everything I ever knew and grew up around. That is what Tampa was to him. I began traveling to visit him because at the time I was a full time college student and was able to. He paid my way and I either took the train or drove my car. More back story: My mom floated around a couple jobs trying to find one that wasn't terrible and also was flexible with my health needs and needing to miss school/go to the D have tests/procedures done. My brother and I eventually switched to virtual learning. I completed sophomore to senior year and he did 8th-12th virtual. It was much easier with the entire situation. Not including the craziness of my dad, who was an alcoholic and violent/abusive, mostly verbal to us but everything to my mom. My parents separated in 2007 and were divorced in 2008. My mom was a stay at home our entire life up until they were separated. My dad didn't want us in daycare or with nannies and didn't want us riding the bus once we were older. Even though we were in a very safe neighborhood and it was actually a very great school system.
Anyway, my mom had to start her life over and floated between jobs, eventually landing as a secretary/assistant in a realtor's office. My mom eventually was tasked with doing house cleanings for their rental properties. Now, even being 2010, the pay was way worse than it should have been. Honestly, my mom had no idea what it would be like doing house cleaning, specifically move out rental property cleanings, which are the worst of the worst. I'm talking bed bugs, maggots, mice, mold, feces, you name it, we saw it. So after doing a couple and realizing it made more than the hourly wage she was making as the receptionist , she decided to do both full time. Now, my brother and I, who at the time were very young, like 11 and 13, started helping My mom at cleanings to make it faster plus she didn't want us alone all the time. We were doing virtual school so it wasn't an issue. There were a couple times before I was in online school where I took off and went and helped her work because I just hated school and my teachers etc because of everything going on with my body. I didn't enjoy it but didn't hate it. It was nice on days where we were able to finish earlier and it wasn't totally disgusting. Plus we were able to spend time together at times. We also got paid typically same day or next day via check so it was great to secure the money. My mom continued this until the office laid her off then she branched off on her own and started a cleaning service in later 2010/2011. My mom became used to us helping her and decided we needed to do this and help her so that she finished faster and would get paid. She also said she couldn't by food if we didn't work because we were living paycheck to paycheck and that she couldn't do it by herself. She told us that she never wanted us to have to get jobs in middle school or high school because she wanted us to focus on our school. Yet we ended up working for her all the time, being paid $0 cash in hand for doing it and instead getting rewarded with fast food, groceries and the bills paid. We did take a family vacation in 2011 that was nice. We also faced a couple hardships around this time. My grandpa( her father) died in 2010 after fighting months of terrible living after having a stroke in 2009. He bounced in and out of the hospital vs a nursing home. Then we lost our dog in 2011, which we had only just gotten back from my dad for 2 years or so, she was 12 when she suddenly became I'll and passed naturally at the vet.
Anyway, even though now, in hindsight, we would have been better off if my mom could have managed to clean alone or have hired someone, then one or both myself and my brother could have gotten jobs somewhere to have cash ourselves but also help with the bills if needed. I did later on, like at age 15, nanny for my neighbor for a couple years as well as working for her tanning salon for a couple months.
Now continue onto 2014, earlier in the year, we had a foreclosure scare where police showed up to escort us off and gave us an hour to gather our belongings and the rest would be for later or locked up with the red ball movers. I was called panicked by my mother that I needed to get there or I would lose my stuff. I guess she didn't know what I wanted or needed. I'm not sure. I was at the tanning salon, which was located at the back of my neighborhood. It just so happened that right before she called, the owner's step son had showed up to tan. I had to rush out and tell him while he was in the tanning booth that it was an emergency and leave the shop. We ended up talking to my dad and he spoke to whoever and they said it was a misunderstanding and left. We ended up being given a timeline of end of July to be out. This is the home I lived in from 6 to almost 19. It was my childhood home. Both my parents were on the mortgage. We had been forced to move out when my parents divorced so that my dad and his gf could move in. Supposedly to renovate and sell it. Instead, he called us one day approximately 2 years later and said we needed to move in or he would let it go to foreclosure since he couldn't or didn't want to sell it. He did not renovate it at all. Of course, me being a child still, was super happy to have my home back. Now, I'm not sure how my mom felt but with the divorce and the messed up child support issues and unfair court hearing and everything else that happened between them. I had to always get in the middle between them, because he would get in a cursing match with my mother so she didn't want to speak to him. So I had to message anytime bills were due and we needed money, to get money for fast food, groceries, for shipping or small travel trips in town to a hotel etc,. I was always in the middle. Now originally, my dad said he didn't want me involved and I shouldn't be etc, but later on he would only talk to me or my brother as well, mainly myself seeing as I was the oldest. I also had to start taking care of bills for him as well.
So continue onward, my dad paid the rent/mortgage my whole life, aside from when he put our house payment on hold for his deployment with the navy and then later on the payments had to be made and he couldn't. I think they wanted a lot of money up front but he didn't have it and it kept accruing so we eventually were foreclosed on. Now, both my parents had poor credit, and my mom didn't make much money or have really any way to prove her income since it was cash and personal checks, not direct deposit. My dad made over $100k a year but was terrible with money and alcoholism and also didn't want to pay bills, only the fun things. He would only pay bills when they were two and three months late and would threaten cancelling or eviction. He paid for our rent at the new place until we moved to Florida in 2017. He also in between that, bought us a couple cars, used, a lot of miles, but ran and were mostly reliable. He had taken some money out of his retirement for up front purchase or later just did payments with buy here pay here. He paid the rent and car but again, it was always late and with fees and threatening to evict. It was always very stressful not knowing what would happen as well as having our phones randomly shut off.
We wanted to move to Florida for college. We could have gone to a state school in Indiana but I was always cold due to anemia and sick all the time from weather changes, so Florida was promising. My dad was very against it and fought us tooth and nail. Eventually after many fights, he agreed. He paid the first, last and security for us to move and co signed the lease to help us get approved. The rent was late every month the entire time we all or eventually, just for my mom to live there until she moved out in 2023. On the positive, my brother met and is now married to his wife and I met and am now with my partner (we both met our S.O in 2019 and have been with them ever since). I have two beautiful girls that I am so happy and lucky to have. My partner and I rescued a dog together in 2020 right before our oldest was born, but sadly in 2022 he passed away very suddenly from lymphoma that showed up 2 days before he had to be put down. We were visiting my mom with him in South Florida when it happened.
Now let's get back to the beginning. My mom has lived with myself, my partner, and our two kids since August 2023. She moved in with us because my brother and his wife would not allow her to move in with them. In the very beginning I assumed it was because his wife was kind of territorial and private and also would have her parents come visit from Brazil time and time again and stay for months at a time. So I figured she didn't want my mom there as well. Later on it came to light in my own head that the reason was for the same reason that we were now stuck. That she was not making enough money doing cleanings. Even with her charging more than what she was previously charging in South Florida and even though she made even more than she made when she first started in 2010, she was still not surviving. She has not survived the entire time. She's done this. She's never been able to afford all of her bills and when my brother and I were in school starting in 2015, we would use our school money that we got from the VA with the GI Bill, which was monthly, as well as the money that we got with our school refunds for taking out loans to the max amount and then using the refund amount after we paid for books and supplies and if we wanted something extra, we would pay for bills like car insurance, 6 months at a time for my mom and helping with other household bills. We had two cars at the time. The one car we went and purchased after selling my little car that we use to move to Florida in and my mom had sold her cheap SUV in Indiana before we moved. We took that 1100 hours from my little car and put it towards a different car that cost $6,900. That was a Nissan Altima with a lot lower mileage and ran really well. I used my school money and my brother used his school money and we used the $1100 from the car and we paid off the car in full and that was going to be my car but I was going to let my mom and brother use it until we were able to figure something out and get another car. Well, a little after that my dad decided to get me a car so we decided to gift that car to my mom. So I rarely drove that car maybe three times. My brother drove it more than me but he used to drive to and from school and he used it also for going to work later on at Jiu-Jitsu which is also where he like to train several times a week. Now. Continue this on living in South Florida, we still worked all the time. Sometimes every single day with my mom. Up until we both started having lives as our significant others. We still never got paid. Very rarely. Maybe two or three times. Did we actually get cash, the rest of it was just paying for our living etc.
So now with my mom living with me, we only live in a two-bedroom townhouse. So she had to take our daughter's room. So now our two girls live in our bedroom and she has the other bedroom. Our girls have limited playspace because it is not a large townhouse. It's only about 1,200 square feet. But it's a split level because it's two stories so it's even less space. We have an outside patio but at the time that was being filled to the brim with her boxes, which now after almost an entire year she's gotten rid of most of her belongings to the trash or donations and only has very few left. Originally we had all planned on her being out within 3 months but that didn't happen because she didn't get a job anywhere except just continuing doing cleanings. Which even working 5 days a week. Unless she worked 8 or 9 hours she does not make enough money to survive, let alone save up money, pay off debt to build credit, and be able to get the chance to actually purchase a house or obtain a rental property. Property. So she's been living with us and still is and everyday has gotten worse and worse because she just stays in that tiny box of a room for all of her meals and spends all of her time in there. Unless she's gone working. A lot of times she will take one or both of my daughters and play with them in that room on the Xbox or whatever. Watching TV or a movie but very rarely do they go outside because we don't have a fence and my mom doesn't want to deal with it. My mom spends all time in that room because of the fact that she has two dogs that also are here that live with her and stay in that room because I have bad dog allergies to most dog breeds so she doesn't want to have the dogs downstairs infecting my area. So she only has them down here as little as possible which is usually when she goes to and from letting them outside or when she's making something to eat. It's made it worse for her because she's turning into a hermit crab situation. She never leaves. She goes to work and comes back and goes in that room and stays. She doesn't have any money to go anywhere or do anything. She doesn't have any health insurance. Doesn't have any way to do anything. Doesn't have any chance to pay off debt, instead. It's just accruing more. She cannot pay to take the kids anywhere like ice cream or to food or whatever, so you could take him to a park but a lot of times it's hot and she just doesn't want to mess with it. My mom has had off and on like bad health issues. Just you know nothing debilitating but just issues with her body like arthritis and other things that have been caused because of her 14 years of doing cleanings with heavy chemicals and not wearing masks or gloves. It takes a toll on your body and it's very hard to deal with. But I just don't know where to turn to which is why I'm here. And I'm sure this sounds like a big rambling fit, but it's very hard for me to try to piece all this together to actually make it make sense. I have constant guilt feeling like I am not taking care of my mom. I'm currently a stay-at-home mom to a one and 3-year-old and feel like I should go and get a full-time night job after my husband gets home from work during the day so that I can help support my mom and help her get a house. My mom has no credit to do so and has had no credit for 15 plus years. There is tons of debt on her credit that needs to be paid off but she feels it's a lost cause. I have taken the time to build up my credit and also had her on my credit card and then authorized user for 3 years which is helping her solely keep her credit come getting lower. I feel like I can't even trust her to watch the kids all day because she said if it's a full-time job then she can't even afford to live because she's not working herself unless I pay her. Which I can't do that unless I get a really high paying job. But she doesn't even make a lot of money right now. In the past months since she's been back she's only worked 2 days for a total of like 8 hours. She does not want to work in person. She had bad experiences in the past which I know was only about 3 or 4 years of her life because the rest of it was stay-at-home mom from like when I was a baby until obviously now. So she only worked 5 years before I was born and then she worked 3 years later on when we were in. You know middle school high school age. She hasn't had a ton of time and you know that 3-year span of when we were older to even hate jobs enough, but something happened between that and everything she went through with my dad to where she doesn't want to work in person. She doesn't like how she looks right now. She's never liked getting her haircut in person even when she had the money too years and years ago when I was a child. Even even when my parents were still married. She doesn't like it. She doesn't like looking in the mirror. She doesn't like making small talk. It just makes her nervous. I have a feeling that there is some sort of childhood trauma and or mental health issues that are going on that are causing all these anxiety and panic attack issues to where she can't work. She tells me that she works in person that it's going to suck and her life's going to be terrible. She makes comments about being suicidal and she says that she would be nauseous everyday going to work. She tries to ration and say that if she went to work somewhere even only a 20-minute drive away that if she's doing that everyday it's going to damage her car and put more wear and tear on it that she can't afford to fix. But right now she'll drive sometimes 40 minutes away to do a cleaning, she even drives to South Florida which is a 5-hour drive, today's with my brother at his house and then we'll work 2 days while she's there and only bring in like $150 and then drive back. Which the gas is not barely covered by that as well as her food while she's there and everything else she does while she's in South Florida. So she's putting all that wear and tear but the money she's making is not even making up for it. Now. I know she likes visiting my brother too and it also gets her out of my smaller house seeing as he has a fence in yard for her dogs and he has a mother-in-law quarters which is where she stays. But I feel like I don't know where to turn. If I tell her to get a job. She says she's already suicidal and that it makes her more suicidal if I mention it and that I'm basically driving her off a cliff. She makes comments like this all the time. She's always in a bad headspace. She makes comments in front of my children like this. Then she needs suicide or other comments and I do not like that because they're very little and even though they don't know what that means, I don't want them mentioning it to someone else. Sometimes she gets an attitude and says she doesn't want to watch my kids even though it'll be only once a week for a date night and I don't expect her to do it all the time. Sometimes it's not even every week. One time I had her babysit for 3 hours so I could go work somewhere doing a quick child care job and she got upset when she found out it wasn't a doctor's appointment but I told her up front that it was for working but she just was upset by it because in her eyes I shouldn't be going to work and making her watch my kids. Even though she is completely 100% against daycare of any kind and said that it's very dangerous and that so many kids get hurt or die and that I cannot put myself or my kids in that danger to go and work somewhere else. Now My partner and I could use the money. It would help us be able to move out of this house quicker rather than waiting another year to year and a half. It would help us be able to have more money to afford things to do with our children but also buying them things they need without feeling like we're pinching money. My dad currently sends me about $150 a week every week and has done that since my mom moved in last August. He's doing that to help out in case she accrues any cost that we have to cover. Like if I buy dog food for her dogs or if I buy her food. Even though my parents despise each other. My dad still wants to keep her fed and make sure she's taken care of and still calls her a good mother instead of when they get in fights. He could say something nasty to me but doesn't. My dad is definitely not a good person, but I'm starting to think that my mom has a lot of demons too. Now just tell me where to turn because I don't know what to do because I feel guilt over everything involving my mom. I feel like I can't say anything to her without it causing a fight and she screams at me. She slams doors like a child. She will go and sit in her car even in 100° heat either with it on or off sometimes for 2 hours and not even have a drink out there with her just because she doesn't want to come inside. She will tell me that I'm the one causing all the fights. My partner has seen her start fights with me and scream at me, my brother has noticed it. She will say thanks to my brother but then she will say thanks to me that are completely different or completely exaggerated. She will tell me. Oh yeah, she can watch the kids whenever I want, but then she'll tell my brother that it's terrible and that she feels like she's doing it all the time and has no relief from it. She very rarely helps around the house except cleaning dishes or vacuuming sometimes or picking up toys. The room she stays in a lot of times has trash overflowing in her small trash can because of all the meals she eats up there and all the drinks she brings up there. At times. She'll argue and say that the kids spill her drink but they spill her drink because they have access to it because she'll leave it down low or they can reach it. We don't even like to have food and drink upstairs in our house but because that's the only place she'll ever eat, we allowed her to do it. But then it's hard because our kids will ask to eat upstairs and we'll tell them no that we're not supposed to have food upstairs. But then they don't understand because they see Grandma do it everyday. So it's a very tough situation. Now. She's gotten to the point where if my brother and I talk and we talk about stuff she said and we can front her on it. She gets very upset because she doesn't like that. We are talking about her and says that we're talking behind her back about her instead of telling it to her face. She called my brother out on something one day that she had said and he proved to her that it was wrong and that she was saying something. Even though she tried to tell me one thing and tell him another. She always tries to depend it on someone else and say oh well. This person said that and then that person said this. I don't think she's doing any of it to be malicious but I think it's like almost she hears that in her mind so then that's what she says. Something happened recently with my dad and she went after she found out about it and told my aunt about it. Who is my mom's sister. None of these people care about my dad. None of them like my dad. Obviously I get it. He's done so many things, but it's the fact that my mom would go and talk about this drama just because she's interested in it or it thinks her you know whatever. Maybe she thinks it's funny. But it's just frustrating and I called her out on it and said it wasn't any of her business to share and she got upset and said oh well. Maybe it's a secret I guess whatever. Everything always ends in a sarcastic remark a lot of times. Recently she said something to my daughter and I didn't like it and I asked her not to say it which I've told other relatives in the past to not say things either. But she's the only one that has said it so badly. That would be sarcastic and then later on wouldn't even play with my daughter without being sarcastic again and saying oh we're going to get in trouble for that even though it was nothing that was actually bad. She was just saying that because she was mad of what I said earlier.
We are at the point where we're going to start charging her rent because lo and behold we have not charged her a single dime since she's been here. Even with us. Also providing occasional dog food, snacks, food for the house, etc. For her if she needed it. There was times that we floated her bills when she was in South Florida, my partner would because I didn't have a job at the time and I wasn't getting school money anymore. After I graduated. . And then I would text my dad even though he's not even really in the picture except when he was paying rent doesn't even owe us child support anymore really. He would still give grocery money for her so she'd have groceries. So here I am now at the ripe old age of almost 29, not knowing what to do, and feeling very guilty. If I want to go purchase buy one get one free perfume without giving one of them to her. Or feeling guilty if I hang out with my sister-in-law who's my age because I don't have anyone else that's close to my age. And I don't have any friends over here yet because I only had friends from college in South Florida and all of my other friends were in Indiana. I feel guilty because my mom's left out. I feel guilty if I go somewhere like if we had the opportunity to go to Indiana or if we had the opportunity to go to Disney world or Disney springs over in Orlando, my mother-in-law lives near there, I would feel guilty that my mom can't go. Even though she probably wouldn't even want to go and even though it's not even involving her, I would still feel guilty. If I go and get a gym membership with my partner, I'm going to feel very guilty about my mom not going, especially if I ever ask her to babysit for us. Because I feel like she wants to go to the gym too. But she doesn't have the income to go because she's not working well. She's not making enough money from what she was doing working. She can work and at one time was working almost every single day but just wasn't making enough to survive which is what my brother and I have tried to explain to her. So now since we've pretty much almost forced her to go and get a real job or at least start looking for one that's not just remote, she's very upset with us and doesn't want to speak to us anymore. She feels like she has nowhere to turn but that she has to still live with me because he won't let her live there because he knows that she would just live there for free.
My brother is in a way better position than me because he doesn't have children right now, his wife has a lot of money and is working, and he is making over 100K a year right now as a programmer and can support her. He is promised to help her within the next 6 months to a year get a house but said that she needs to be working somewhere. That's not cleaning because he wants her to prove that she can actually afford to pay the rent or the mortgage. He doesn't mind helping cosine and he even doesn't mind helping her pay first, last and security. But he does not want to be footing the bill every month for her bills. He was paying all of her bills or most of them every month in South Florida because my dad was supposed to but would come up with excuses not to and my mom didn't have more than $100 or $200 a month to contribute to the rent. So then my brother would have to pay the rest because I wasn't working. Now when we both were getting school money we were able to take care of everything. We took care of all the car insurance for like 2 years for my mom. She didn't pay one dime. You'd also pay for other incidentals too like random TV expenses or going to a hotel or paying for fast food etc. Now. My partner and I would really love for us to be able to get that bedroom back so that our children can actually sleep in their own room and we can actually do things in our room like stay awake and talk without waking up our kids or watch a movie together or whatever we want and not have to feel like we have to go downstairs, especially if we're tired. But right now we can't do that. But if I feel like I need to tell her she has to leave she doesn't have a job and hasn't saved any money even though she's been here almost a year which originally her intent was she was supposed to be saving money and working so that she could move. But that hasn't happened and I don't know when it will happen. It feels like everything is just repeated and repeating. It's been repeating since 2010 and I don't know how to make it any better. I always feel like it's my fault somehow and that I need to fix it that I've always had to be the fixer and that I'm parenting my parent. It sucks because I hate feeling that way, I hate the way the guilt has made me feel. I hate the way that my mom and I have a relationship now. That's worse when she's here but better when she leaves. We're actually able to tolerate each other and talk to each other because it's not about bills or her living with us or the fact that she needs to get a job. We just talk about things that we normally talk about. But when she's here we just go to world war 3 sometimes and it's terrible. It's not a good look for us. It's not good for my kids to be around, my oldest is getting scared of the fights and gets upset and tries to talk everybody down. That should not be put on her at this age. I went through that when I was a kid and it should not be on her.
Obviously I have issues too but my mom does not want to go to therapy even though the only therapy she ever had was court ordered and I told her this would be completely different. I also told her that everyone should have therapy because it's better than trying to just rant to your family. I know that she has a lot of stress and built up anger and resentment for everything that's going on and feels like she doesn't know where to turn. I know that my mom feels like that she has failed even though she works really hard. She's failing by not being able to survive but she just doesn't want to admit it. I just don't honestly know what to do or where to go. And if you talk to my brother he says oh well if she doesn't want to pay rent and she just moves out and lives in her car. That's on her. But she's not in her right mind. What normal person wants to live in their car. Why would a normal person want to threaten putting their 13-year-old dog that they've had that entire time into a shelter rather than give it to their son or daughter. It doesn't make any sense but I just honestly don't know where to turn to. I do not want to feel like I'm forcing my mom to leave and I know if I ask her to pay rent she's going to say she doesn't have the money to pay rent because truthfully she can't even barely pay her $130 car insurance. Something happened with the phone plan with my dad and now we're going to have to get off of it. She doesn't have the money for that. We have to pay off the phones that we had on a monthly payment with my dad. He's been paying it my entire life with us not contributing one dime. And that includes my mom. She's still on his plan and so are my brother and I. But something happened. So my brother and I are going to pay off our phones and transfer to T-Mobile. We don't want my mom on our plan even if that line is free because we don't want the risk of her having to owe money and not have it and us have to foot the bill every month. And it sucks that we have to even act like that but that's just how it is. If we talk about the phone situation and try to help her. She gets very upset and doesn't want to talk about it and says that we're trying to tell her what to do and control her..
This is how all of our conversations go basically. We try to say one thing and she'll misconstru it as another. Such as when she was seeing this guy for a year and a half and then she stopped talking to him and then she started talking to him again and I told her that I wanted her to be happy and that if she wanted to make it work with him and if that meant she had to be in South Florida then she could. Because flashback to win I first had my child she would come and visit off and on and stay here and I'd go stay there and I always told her she should move to the side of the state because it's cheaper and there's More work opportunities and she'd be able to be near her grandchildren. Now. She wouldn't have moved here if she wasn't forced to but she moved here because of the bad situation she got put in. But she tells everyone that I forced her to move here and that it's my fault. Even though she literally was end of lease and they were not resigning and had nowhere to go. She had no credit. No job, no money saved. Basically nothing to her name except $100. We had to foot the bill for the moving truck so that she could move to bring all of her stuff here and we hadn't split the bill to open up a storage unit. But then he ended up having tons of issues and not being able to move and not getting a job. So eventually the storage unit had to get paid month after month by my partner and I. And then we had to sell all of our stuff and take the rest of our house which eventually, led to it being trashed/ donated except for what she decided to keep. I know her life is tough in that small room and that she doesn't even have a closet because I use it for my kids. And she can't have a dresser because we already have a dresser in there for my kids. But my daughter starts school in August and she's never been in school before and we really wanted them to have their own room back by then but it's just not happening and it makes me and my partner sad. But then I feel worse if I try to say that my mom needs to leave because I feel like I'm forcing her to go and get a job where she doesn't want to and that it's my fault and the situation is my fault and that it's my fault. I don't have a bigger house that she could have lived in with us for longer and she always said in the past that she wanted us to all live in the same house together and just have it be bigger. And I don't know if that's because we could all be close together or if it's because she wanted us to support her. I don't know. I really don't know where to turn to. I don't know what to do. I don't know what's right. I don't know what's wrong. From what I know financially after trying to fix myself and seeing my partner who's very financially responsible. I know that she should get a job and that would help her get her retirement built up. That would help her be able to get in medical insurance, dental insurance, vision be able to do frivolous things like shopping or getting her hair done or whatever she wants to do nails whatever. Be able to go and visit friends. She doesn't even go into situations right now where she can meet friends. And a lot of times she goes on a date with a guy that she knows is probably not going to be someone she's attracted to but I feel like she does it because she wants a man to support her so she can move in with them. She always said that her and her ex-boyfriend didn't work out because he didn't want to move in with her and be stuck paying half or all of the bills for her. And that he wanted to just live in his RV in her driveway or else live in his RV somewhere else and then her or him to come visit.
Can someone tell me what I should do or give me insight? Or basically just tell me I'm not the crazy person. I just need an outside perspective because the other people I asked or my in-laws or my partner and I can't talk about it with anyone in my immediate family such as my mom's siblings or my mom's parent because of the fact that she doesn't want anyone to know the true situation of how she's been like this. The entire time that I have been a middle schooler. That none of the bills have been able to be paid and that there's not been any money and everything's been reliant on my dad and my brother and I. My brother called her out on it a little bit ago and now she doesn't even want to speak to him. So just tell me that I'm not the crazy person that needs daily therapy or hell. Maybe I do need therapy and it's just to fix the things that have been controlled and put into my brain by my parents when I was a child up to now. There are so many more things in my life that happened that I can't even put on here that I can't even begin to describe because it would take me years...
Edit: When we were kids, once my parents separated, my mom would have us sell things of my dad's even if we might have used it at some point, just for a bit of cash toward some bills or fast food and to spite him. She would not ask him to take it, just sell it. Now, the things taking up half of our garage such as projects he was starting but never going to finish or TONS of tools, she had us sell in a garage sale after asking him to remove them. He didn't have the space in an apartment. I bet my brother would have loved to have those tools, a lot of them new or newer and always kept in the giant, stainless steel tool box. I think we sold the toolbox and all the tools for $100 and my mom made us do it. She did not come outside. We were kids. I also had to try and sell a car without my mom present as a younger child. She was home for both of these occurrences.

Anderson arrives at his friend Mikes house and knocks at the door as he opens it.
“Ruff ruff Bark bark Rrrrr ruff” A small brown Chihuahua spoke. She had a curled tail and ears that bent over at the tip and was at his feet wagging so hard her entire rear end was going back and forth.
“Hey McBoo!” He bends down and picks up the dog, walking into Mikes living room. He takes a seat next to his friend who still has not taken off his VR headset. While he waited he played with the little dog. Rubbing her ears, and playfully batting at her while she gently bit his fingers the two were happy to see each other. She may not have been his dog but she was his friend.
“Sorry about that I couldn't bail on them” he said, taking his headset off.
“I get it,” Anderson replies as McBoo licks his face.
“Appreciate you taking her. I know you are busy lately, training the next batch and all that.” Mike and Anderson had grown apart after his promotion, but even if they didn't have time to hang out they always had time to help each other out.
“You kidding? I love this McDog.” Anderson was now throwing her toy, a small stuffed ball that used to have a squeaker.
The dogs owner points to the table. “Her harness, a leash, some toys, and some treats are right there.”
“Sounds good, I guess we're outta here then." He gets up and stuffs the dogs items into his pockets. Mike says some goodbyes to his dog and his friend as Anderson puts her harness on.
The two arrive at the shuttle port, an old bus station converted to handle small 100 person spacecraft. They needed to catch a ride to Andersons duty station, an exploration class freighter, currently on standby in Jupiter's orbit. The station was a crowded place. Every species in the galaxy had at least one reason to visit earth, so much so that ‘porting in’ (Atmospheric entrance via wormhole) was banned due to the sheer amount of travel that made it a hazard. Anderson held the dog on his shoulder. Her tongue out as she panted.
Scanning ahead he noticed 2 lines before the final check. The line on the left came to a human security guard. The guard's uniform was neatly pressed and his instructions clear and concise. The line to the right was staffed by a Xeno, the insect like creature resembled a mantis on earth but with shorter arms, no wings, and a much less developed abdomen. Their hand signals and verbal instructions seemed all over the place. Anderson holds McBoo out in front of him, face to face.
“Ok, just play along and we will be outta here soon”
The dog licks his nose.
He could have just declared her as cargo, but there was no way he was putting her in the cargo holds like some old suitcase. He goes to the right and patiently waits. After a time he is called.
“Step up here sir and prepare sir to be body…um security scanned and then you can board the craft sir.” Anderson walks up to the guard with the dog still on his shoulder he extends his free arm to be checked.
“Excuse me sir, that thing on your shoulder must” the Xeno is interrupted.
“Excuse me? Obviously you are new and don't know how to deal with Terran royalty.” He gestures to the dog “but I will not stand for this disrespect again. Am I clear?” He speaks in a low but annoyed voice.
“I've never seen a royal Terran on four legs sir” unconvinced of the dog's status.
He points to a woman wearing a shirt featuring a cartoon Chihuahua resembling McBoo. Then he turns to the guy behind him and asks “Ay man, is this dog a queen?” They reply enthusiastically “hell yeah she is. I'd freaking die for this dog.” He starts scratching behind her ears, McBoo wags her tail.
“Oh I'm terribly sorry it's literally my first day on earth. Oh no no no I can't cause a diplomatic incident on my first day!'' The guard quickly scans and moves them along to the shuttle.
After a long eventless flight the shuttle docks. Once on board the ship, he takes the dog down to equipment and engineering. Upon arrival he is greeted by a synthetic creature, known as an S2, they chose their name based on the fact they were the second synthetic race to emerge in the galaxy and had successfully eradicated the S1. Their individual names were long strings of numbers and letters, but would accept the last three characters as a moniker.
“Hey, 519, how are ya?”
“All systems nominal and my workload has been minimal” 519 was modeled to look human in shape but with a screen where a face would be as well as visible wires and pistons throughout its body.
“Awesome, listen, this dog needs an exosuit. Match it to mine if you can” He says, putting the dog on the synthetic creatures desk.
A horizontal beam emits from the creature's red dot for an eye, the only feature currently displayed on the screen that was its face. The beam passes over the dog a few times. “One moment” it walks back to the storage area behind them, and grabs a cart. It begins moving around filling it up with various circuit boards, cloth, and other parts.
Anderson reaches into his leg pocket and pulls out a bag of dried meat. McBoo immediately focuses on it. He begins feeding her very small pieces one at a time. While this was happening the synthetic creature had laid out all the parts for the suit and with lightning speed in its hands began assembling the suit around the dog. First a quick frame then all the wiring boards were placed, multiple layers of thermal protection followed by fusing pieces of ceramic compound into a rigid canvas together in the final shell for armor. The helmet, in its stored state, was nothing more than a thick collar attached to the neck of the suit. When deployed a series of face-fitting armor plates would construct themselves over the top portion of the animal's head, the bottom portion would allow for space for the jaw to be opened so as not to force the dog's mouth closed while wearing the helmet. She wouldn't be able to pick anything up but she could still bark. Once it's finished assembling the suit, 519 plugs the suit into itself to run diagnostics and confirm that everything is working properly. “There, the dog can now physically survive in any environment you place it in for a limited amount of time. “ it hands over the harness “I had to remove this to install the suit but I have placed a metal ring for you to use as a restraint.” Anderson clips her leash on.
Now wearing a dark gray suit with glowing light blue lines in a circular pattern around the joints and a blue stripe going down the back all the way to the end of the tail. The paws had artificial claws at the ends where regular claws would be simply because ‘the animals are already used to walking like this and it would make no sense to change it’ according to the suits creator.
“Thanks 519” He says gently tugging on the leash to get the dog to jump to the floor “She seems good with it, looks nice too.”
McBoo and her guardian walk to the nearest tram to head to the ship's residential area. A flight from Earth to Jupiter's orbit was enough to tire anybody out. The tram arrives and the two step out onto the platform overlooking the area. A Four mile wide (6.4km) by six mile long (9.6km) oval shape with natural plant life dotting the landscape between the walking and light vehicle paths was the base of the area. The ceiling, a large screen, mimicked the sky on earth in real time. Designed to function without traditional cars, the city had no zones to speak of and small shops were a common sights in neighborhood. There was even a lake built towards the stern where the fish were regularly stocked and the water as clear as space itself. Located near the ship's center, the crew had easy access to everything on the ship no matter where they were.
Anderson takes a deep breath in as McBoo sniffs the air. “Good to be home, right pup?”
“Mmmruff” McBoo lets out a small growly bark.
“Correct, shuttle lag does suck. You ready for warp lag?”
The dog tilts her head in response.
“Let's go” he says, wrapping the leash once around his hand. The two find a nice walking path home and enjoy the view of the sunrise on the ceiling.
They arrive at the house, a small single story with a modest fenced in backyard, like one of dozens on this section. He opens the door and takes off her leash. Once free, the dog walks back out the front door and squats on the front lawn.
“Good girl, but the suit will take care of that, so come on in.” Anderson orders.
McBoo runs in a few small circles before stopping, her front paws extended, head lowered, rear end up and panting rapidly.
“Don't do it” he says slowly approaching the dog.
She spins in place and resumes the pose. Knowing what's next as slowly as he can tries to get within arm's reach. As he touches her fur, she does an about face and takes off with all of the speed she can summon. her body low to the ground and ears back, she weaves in and out between humans, trees, and terrified Xenos. Anderson, just behind her repeatedly apologizing to those he knocks over while he gives chase.
Taking advantage of the customers leaving, McBoo charges in to a cafe, tripping a lady who was holding a tray of food. Anderson enters immediately after to see the dog eating. He dives at her. She hops away slurping up more food. Again he reaches for her and again she, with mouth full of chicken, hops away.
“Damn dog, stop that! STAY! SIT! SOMETHING!” He pleads.
She grabs a biscuit and takes off between his feet, scarfing it down as she runs. Resuming the chase he notices a sign.
[EVACUATION ROUTE PODS 50-59]
“All right I can pin her in there, keep running, dog go right to a pod.” He thought to himself knowing he couldn't match her speed. One of the automatic elevators begins opening, McBoo's speed increases, and as the distance widens she comes to a stop in the elevator. The doors close just as Anderson reaches.
After a few choice words shouted at the elevator he gets into the one next to it. While he waits in the elevator he checks his data pad, opening the tracking program for the dog. He can see she's on the elevator next to his all they'd have to do is stop and get off and she'd be in a small area, and that should make catching her easy. The elevator stops when the door opens and to his horror he sees her on the opposite side of a pod door. That five seconds he spent swearing was way too long. The ships AI announces “The planned warp jump will begin in 90 seconds.” As soon as the announcement is over the dog's paw slips onto a button starting the evacuation process for her pod.
“Launching in 90 seconds” a pre-programmed voice from inside the escape pod announces.
Anderson frantically tries to contact any of the ship staff with the authority to stop the warp but no one will answer. He starts panicking and pounding on the pod, the dog now barking at him.
“7, 6, “
“No! DAMNIT NO! MCDOG, JUST HIT THAT BUTTON” He says pointing to the red one that cancels the launch. McBoo who had been barking louder than ever now looking terrified starts whining.
“2, 1” both the ship and the pod announce simultaneously “warp drive activated, launch sequence beginning.” Now slamming his fists into the glass he does everything he can to get to his friend but the glass will not break. For a brief second, time stops.
“MCBOO? WHERES THE DOG?! MCBOO!?" Anderson shouts as he wakes up in the infirmary, A bright light blinding him for a brief moment.
“Please calm down sir.” A tall light blue alien with large black eyes and an expressionless face, named Jipp, spoke. “ The injuries to your hands as well as mild radiation burns to your skin require healing. Please refrain from shouting and go back, excuse me, did you say dog?”
“Yes, I'm watching a dog for a friend and” just then he is interrupted.
“Bark” the voice is familiar but the sound seems to come from everywhere all at once and inside of his head.
“Oh thank God!” Anderson sighs with relief.
“Bark, Barararareoooooofff” The voice continues loud and omnidirectional.
“Oh yes, that has been happening for a few hours. Do you recognize that voice” the alien asks Anderson.
“Yeah that's her, where is she?” He asked both relieved that she is alive and confused as to where she is and what's going on.
“In terms a human can understand when the ship executed a warp jump at the exact same time the escape pod was jettisoned, she simply slipped. We have devised a plan to retrieve her but it requires that she remains still and quiet, a task we have been unable to succeed in. You say this is your friends dog. Do you have a solution?”
He thinks for a second. And then using the voice feature on his data pad begins ordering lunch.
“This is hardly the time” Jipp, annoyed at the continued barking in his head, scolds Anderson.
“Look you need her to be still right? I have an idea.” he says, having known the dog long enough to know what can distract her.
McBoo resorts to howling and screeching.
“Who all can hear that?” Anderson asks.
“It appears to be localized to the entirety of the ship's population. And the confusion has already caused a few riots.”
After about 10 minutes a drone carrying a bag from McSpaceys arrives. The barking and howling stops.
“I see movement on the tracker. The dog appears to be headed straight towards you. “ Jipp narrates.
Wincing from the pain in his broken hands as he opens the bag, Anderson begins slowly eating fries. “What's the tracker show now?"
“It appears the dog is occupying every position in a sphere with a 1 meter radius centered around you, but it does not appear she has any significant velocity.” Jipp sounds surprised. “Can you be sure she will remain still?”
“Yeah she's not going anywhere.” Anderson confidently replies.
Jipp addresses the ship's AI. “disengage the warp drive immeaditly.”
The ship replies as it powers down the engines. “Affirmative.”
Once the engines are fully powered down the dog materializes a foot above the bag. Upon completely materializing she falls into the food and her Auto deploying helmet retracts. She starts chomping on fries after she lands.

Rivian invited me out to Seattle last week to check out the refreshed R1T and R1S flagships. There’s going to be a lot of great content out today, but I wanted to talk to you as someone who has owned and daily driven both an R1T and R1S for the last two years. Owner to owner—or potential owner. While these new vehicles look similar on the surface, they’re indeed very different with the vast majority of internal components altered or made entirely new. This means lower production costs and better construction—good things necessary for Rivian’s survival; however, so doing will leave some of us gen-1 owners quite mad.
“Under The Hood”
Let’s start with things you won’t notice but will increase reliability while lowering assembly costs. Their new “zonal architecture” cuts 17 ECUs down to just 7. Entire harnesses have been eliminated, over a mile of wiring at nearly 50 pounds of weight has been shed, and the infotainment PCB now shares a cold plate and PCIe interconnect with the AXM (autonomy experience module). This doesn’t just save on component cost, but provides huge improvements on assembly times. The infotainment SoC has remained the same with no updates. Rivian engineers tell me software optimization—rather than new silicon—has allowed new visuals and features (which we’ll discuss soon) to come to gen-1 hardware and mostly maintain one software branch. Great news.
Other under-the-hood changes include the elimination of the ethernet bus, which allows for several systems to remain entirely dormant while others (like the module that runs Gear Guard) stay live. Rivian tells me this will result in “industry-leading” phantom drain performance. Servicing the BMS previously required dropping the entire pack (as it was on top)—a 10-hour job—and has now been relocated to the underside of the vehicle, allowing for many pack repairs in under an hour. Physical fuses have also been eliminated in favor of e-fuses, saving time at service and yielding better diagnostic data of failures.
All battery packs have received minor redesigns. Large and Max packs now have 2170 cells with 53g of density rather than 50g, which helps push range to 420 miles on the dual-motor max pack with the most efficient wheels. I want to credit Rivian with doing anything here, but this is likely just Samsung SDI shifting the majority of production to their INR21700-53G. That said, they changed their die-casting process to reduce mass and simplify manufacturing—“substantially lowering” cost. Exciting and new is the shift to LFP in the standard pack, which claims up to 270 miles EPA. This, like most LFP packs, will be safe to charge to 100% all the time with little to no degradation. Rivian refused to disclose their LFP provider, but it’s pretty obvious. The state of Illinois just gave beaucoup money ($2B) to Chinese battery producer Gotion for a new LFP factory slated to open at the end of the year, very close to Normal. Gotion already has a factory in California that will allow standard-range models to qualify for the full EV tax credit, while the new factory awaits completion. A little birdie tells me the new LFP pack can hit 240kW while DC fast charging. This would be an industry near-record and excellent if true.
Other minor changes include a heat pump, which will obviously help winter range, and the compressor has been moved off of the firewall to help with NVH. Unfortunately, this comes at the expense of reasonably substantial front trunk space. Not only is there a pretty sizable square cutout from the sub-frunk, but the frunk itself is both shallower and with more gradual walls. Volumetrically, it’s a LOT smaller. There are some things redesigned—gone is the bifold subfloor and magnet in favor of a single piece that can be propped up. It feels functional if a bit cheap. There are also two “pockets” on each side of the frunk tub; however, they’re relatively small and I’m not sure what you’d put in them beyond some documentation or a compressor hose. I don’t know how I didn’t grab a photo of it; alas, I failed to do so. Apologies.
Drivetrain & Suspension
Goodbye, Bosch. Hello, new in-house, two-motor drive units! Not only does Rivian have replacements for the prior quad-motor design, but they are also adding a tri-motor configuration to the lineup. You’ve seen the specs already, I’m sure… 850HP and a 2.9s 0-60 for the tri-motor, while the quad-motor offers 1,025HP, nearly 1,200 lb-ft of torque, and a 0-60 time of less than 2.5s (for R1T—R1S is slower). These new motors are incredible. Oil-cooled with the inverters mounted atop (with a shared heat exchanger betwixt them), they have a smooth responsiveness I’ve never felt with my Bosch units. Owners know that pulling off of (or rapidly applying) the pedal creates a bit of a “lurch,” and throttle input delay exists (however small). That’s not present in these motors at all, and I now feel the pedal travel and mapping feel exceeds Tesla (which I’ve long considered the benchmark for throttle response). It’s wickedly good.
The tri-motor is a really special configuration. See, these new units still have the half-shaft mechanical disconnect at the rear; however, it is dynamic and now works irrespective of drive mode. So, floor your throttle in Conserve, and it’ll re-connect the power and give you the beans you seek. Additionally, other drive modes may disconnect the rear linkage unbeknownst to you—seamlessly maximizing range and performance. Frankly, it makes me wonder if some of the drive modes are redundant now. I asked Mason Verbridge, principal drive unit engineer if this would also mean power is applied at the rear from a stop in Conserve mode to save on front tire wear. He confirmed it would. Sweet! While this trick still works on the quad-motor, you don’t have the efficiency of the single-motor Enduro front-drive unit (FDU) which yields markedly lower range. While the dual-motor configuration is still the range-king, only BARELY. Mason told me on the highway, you’d only likely see a real-world range difference of 1-2 miles (yes, you read that right) between the dual and tri-motor of the same pack size. Frickin’ awesome.
There’s a new “light” regen mode that will be coming to all Rivian models (gen-1 included) that is very subtle and probably ideal for new EV drivers and/or to accommodate passengers susceptible to car sickness.
Suspension got a massive upgrade. Air springs have been revised, and the suspension feel in general has been changed—particularly on R1S. The truck also feels “smoother,” and gone is the awful low-speed squeaky sound, but the R1S is the vehicle on which the new suspension shines. I overheard an unnamed engineer talking to an unnamed PR person who asked what the big difference was with gen-2 ride quality. They responded under their breath, “well, we made the suspension actually good.” On R1S, gone is the super firm front end and waffly, floaty rear end. Recalibrated spring rates provide significantly smoother road feel without the "bouncy” feeling experienced on gen-1's “Soft" suspension mode. Active dampers tighten things up really nicely in Sport mode with a more reasonable rebound rate. The best equivalence I can offer is that you can now feel the road through your hands and legs but not through your teeth. Gone is the oversteer bounce in tight corners, feeling nearly as planted as the gen-1 R1T—an awe-inspiring achievement considering the wheelbase differences. Long story short, if you had put me in the passenger seat blindfolded, I would have never guessed I was in an R1S in a million years. It feels SO MUCH BETTER I can't even begin to explain it. It's the single biggest generational upgrade that makes me consider trading in my “old" R1S.
Driver+ Autonomy and False Advertising
Do you even self-drive, bro…? Gen-2 brings an entirely new platform that includes 11 high-res cameras (which look phenomenal—the best I’ve seen in any car ever—and are a massive leap from the [pardon my Spanish] mierda they were previously shipping). Two new NVIDIA SoCs bring 10x the compute of gen-1, and improved radars and ultrasonics help those cameras see better and further. VP of Autonomy James Philbin says Rivian really believes in multiple sensor modalities—that vision-only is not the way forward. Of course, this brought questions: “Well, is this going to fully self-drive, or will this be a level 3/4 system, etc.?” They answered: “There’s no reason this hardware would prevent that; it’s really a software problem.” But they’re also making very few promises for anything other than (1) better visualizations on the binnacle display, (2) lane changes, and (3) eventual hands-free driving under limited circumstances. It remains limited to previously mapped highways, and there are no plans to let it function on city streets.
The lane change functionality works really well. You now pull the drive stalk towards you twice to engage Driver+ (instead of down) and pushing the opposing turn stalk up or down begins a signal, ensures the lane is clear, and then makes the lane change quite aggressively and confidently. It’s good. If the lane is blocked, or there are rapidly approaching vehicles, it keeps trying to look for an opening for about 10 seconds, and if it can’t complete the maneuver, it cancels the request and stays in the current lane. Good design, in my opinion. The driver monitoring system is alleged to be present in the rear-view mirror, according to the press release; however, I could not see it in the press cars. I questioned a PR rep, who told me they asked Wassym Bensaid, Chief Software Officer, and were told the cabin camera was removed. If true, how they’ll get to “hands-free” driving remains unanswered.
One thing that WAS answered and will frustrate any current owner is that none of these features will be coming to the gen-1 vehicles. No lane changes. Period. I also got a “no comment” when I asked about trailer assist. These features were advertised as recently as yesterday on Rivian’s website. Philbin, Bensaid, and a number PR folks confirmed with me lane changes WILL NOT be coming to existing vehicles because they “just couldn’t make it work,” which sucks. I talked with RJ Scaringe (CEO) about autonomy 2.5 years ago at the Breckenridge unveil event. He remarked even then that the old hardware was likely capable of level 3-4 autonomy and just needed software improvements. It seems that didn’t end up being remotely true, as we won’t even be getting simple lane changes that have been on every major autonomy platform from every major automaker since 2020. Light your torches, everyone. This new system carries the same suggestion of future potential, but given history, we’ll see…
Lane changes, by the way, are considered part of “Rivian Autonomy Platform+” and, while free to begin with, are suggested to be bundled with other unannounced autonomy features at an additional price in the future. Gen-1 cars will keep all existing autonomy features free (in addition to generalized improvements) but will no longer get new features.
An Outside Delight
The most significant changes visually are found inside, but there are some exterior changes too. Gone are the fog lights, and in their stead are new turn signals. No longer will one of the DRLs turn yellow; they’ll both remain on with a separate, lower, but more visible and brighter amber light. The amber turn signal light on the sideview mirrors has also been repositioned and appears more radiant. The green light bar has been redesigned with ten individual segments. When plugged in, they reflect the state of charge to the nearest 10%. e.g., seven illuminated green sections indicate a 65-74% SOC. These segments are found at both the front and rear of the vehicle; however, the rear bar has some extra tricks up its sleeve. You can display amber-colored animations to help alert and direct traffic flow if you’re stuck on either shoulder (left or right) or even broken down in the middle of the highway. This is an excellent safety feature, but not the only one! Adaptive headlights also make their way to gen -2 vehicles with active headlights that adjust the beam pattern, disabling segments to reduce glare for oncoming traffic while keeping the road illuminated for yourself. It ships later this year as a software update to gen-2 vehicles only.
The tri-motor and quad-motor vehicles come with a new electro-chromatic roof. In addition to heat rejection, it does a pretty good job at blocking out light when you don’t want light rather than having to put up a finnicky sun shade. It’s not the best electrochromic glass I’ve seen and always looks a bit… “frosty,” but it’s a nice option I’d certainly opt for given Rivian’s current glass roofs do f***-all when it comes to IR rejection.
New wheels and tires arrive with this refresh. Gone is the 21” (sorry, folks), and in its stead arrive two new 22-inch wheel models. An aerodynamic wheel with a special Pirelli compound looks fantastic (both cover on and off), and a high-performance 22-inch wheel with “a UHP Michelin tire package comes with (and only with) the quad-motor. A new 20-inch wheel and ADV all-season tire also arrive from Goodyear, and I suspect this will be the base-model. It's boring but nice from a ride-quality standpoint.
Oh, blue. Blue’s the new color for the quad-motor configuration. Tri-motor gets yellow, and dual-motor keeps silver. The calipers, badging, and everything in between… all a subtle grey-blue. Oh yeah, Gear Guard Gary also appears as a badge on the quad-motor on the bottom-right of the tailgate. Half the Rivian team hates it, but they’re wrong. It’s absolutely delightful. #TeamGary
Range Rover? Never Heard Of It.
Rivian is clearly aiming to position the R1 as a proper luxury vehicle. While the dual-motor and performance dual-motor retain the existing interior (which maintains the “Adventure” name), the tri-motor and quad-motor ship with a new “Ascend” trim. Holy balls, the Ascend trim is next-level. Gone are the chilewich and yellow accents… we’re going plaid. The new plaid design is stunning, with “plaid-style” accents everywhere. The seats are now checkered plaid, the black ash wood inlay is gone, and in its stead is not just the brown ash found on the prior Forest Edge trim, but there’s now a gorgeous walnut and white “driftwood” dependent on the leather color. Speaking of leather, EVERYTHING is wrapped in leather. Every area that had hard plastic has been replaced with stitched leather. The airbag? Stitched leather. Door pocket? Stitched leather. Under-dash storage area? Stitched leather.
There is stitching, piping, and premium-feeling synthetic leather on literally every surface. It feels like the car is $20,000 more expensive inside (more on that in a moment). The two-tone seats are gorgeous; the glossy silver plastic dash accent is now muted grey or bronze and the grab handles and seat headrests have gorgeous plain fabric. Wowzers! It’s stunning inside. In fact, I have a hard time believing this doesn’t add CONSIDERABLE expense; however, I think that when the R2 hits the market, the “cheaper” R1 trims will likely be killed. The R1 is now a luxury car designed to compete with the Range Rovers, the Lexuses, and the Mercedes of the world—not the Model Y, not the Mach-E. This doesn’t quite reach the ultra-luxury market, but it gets really friggin’ close.
Well, save for the sound system. The current “Rivian Elevation” system is part of the high-end Ascend package and it still sounds like crap—at least compared to the prior Meridian system (which was already worse than almost every other car in this price range). If you opt for the “Adventure” trim, you get an even worse sound system than exists today with fewer speakers and black grilles. This news is especially frustrating given that cabin isolation from the new suspension and NVH improvements make the cabin MUCH quieter on the highway. Would be the perfect opportunity to let a great sound system shine. No such luck.
Rivian, priced where you are, the sound system is embarrassing. Do better.
Software Affair, Mon Frère
Updates to software are going to make prior-gen owners both really happy and really sad. Coming to all vehicles is a new visual interface design. OK, starting at the binnacle… The widgets on the left (map, tire pressure, efficiency) remain the same, but they’re now windowed in a little “card.” This gives more room for the improved visualization (only on gen-2) in the center, and the speed, gear selection, and power meter remain on the right side (if not a little visually improved).
The main display brings with it a lot of changes. The drive mode pages now show handsome cel-shaded 3D renders running inside of Unreal Engine. You can switch from one drive mode to another and there’s a seamless real-time rendered transition that looks great. Rivian’s very certain this design language will age better than their current implementation, and I have to agree. Sporting the fresh new look is a new typeface. It’s bold, it’s wide, it’s hyper-readable. Gorgeous? Not really, but this is a car. Seeing a bold speedometer looks SO MUCH BETTER than what we’ve got right now. The size of everything is larger, the spacing is more well-considered, and it looks awesome.
The climate controls are redesigned and laid out in a way that makes a lot more sense, but more importantly, there are PRESETS, BABY! Both the driver and passenger can set up two vent presets that can be recalled at any time. Finally, a real solution for multi-driver households. It’s great.
As demonstrated earlier this month, Google Cast will be coming to the fleet (both old and new) so you can watch any video supported by Google Cast (which is most) quickly and easily, right from your smartphone. Unfortunately, such a feature will not come free. This will require Rivian’s new “Connect+” premium connectivity subscription.
Also locked behind a paywall? Apple Music support. Rivian worked with Apple to bring full Dolby Atmos Spatial Audio support. Is it gimmicky? Yes. Is it fun? Also yes. It really does play with all of the speakers available to it and gives a nice “airiness” not found with the other streaming services onboard. Unfortunately, the sound system (as discussed previously) is too lousy to really take advantage of it. Wait... so why isn't this free? Strangely, it seems Connect+ includes an Apple Music subscription. But can you just login to an existing account if you already pay for Apple Music and use that? I couldn't get a clear answer from Rivian; however, I would presume so as Spotify, Tidal, Alexa (weird), and the WiFi hotspot are all moving under the Connect+ umbrella.
If you opt not to pay for Connect+, you’ll still get live navigation (nice), remote vehicle commands, and digital key functionality.
Speaking of digital keys, gen-2 offers support for Apple car key within Apple Wallet. Nice! You can now use your iPhone or Apple Watch to unlock/lock/start the vehicle by holding it wherever you’d have your key card. You can also share keys with friends, manage key permissions, and more. This functionality continues to work even after your iPhone/Watch battery dies (the same cannot be said of the BLE PAAK). Awesome! Unfortunately, this is a hardware thing and only available for gen-2.
WTF, Monsieur
Two fairly awesome features that could come to gen-1, seem not to be coming to gen-1.
(1) Ambient lighting. Gen-2 cars can switch between 8 custom-curated colors for the ambient lighting. The color picker has a little cel-shaded art theme and curated sound scape. Absurd, but cute. Why not just a regular RGB color picker? Jeff Hammoud, Chief Design Officer, said: “We don’t want people making their car, say, pink.” This is lame. Let customers make their car whatever color they want.
What about us gen-1 customers? I asked Hammoud, who told me that gen-1 lacked the hardware lighting to make this possible. When I disputed that, saying: “Why? It has RGB lighting. You’ve done two Halloween updates: once red and once green.” He simply replied this feature is gen-2 only. That didn’t seem right, so I asked multiple PR reps. Two asked unnamed higher-ups that confirmed ambient lighting colors were not coming to gen-1. Then, I asked Wassym. He smiled, evaded the question, and said gen-2 makes the lighting possible and that it will not be coming to gen-1. This conflicts with what Wassym has told other people: that gen-2 lighting is better quality and more configurable through software, so, while unclear if it will come to gen-1, it’s technically possible.
Here’s my opinion: let Wassym and his team bring it. I don’t know if there are spectrum or luminance limitations of the gen-1 RGB diodes or not. Perhaps there are. Maybe not every color may come. But at least bring a few of them. We know the colors can change; it has been done before. The ugly, sickly white that exists right now is hardly a great vibe.
(2) Blind spot camera monitoring. In gen-2, when you initiate a lane change, a camera feed of the lane next to you shows up on the left/right side of the binnacle. Many other automakers like Hyundai, Kia, and Tesla do this. It’s awesome. This is something Wassym has publicly stated was forthcoming—both on Reddit and in other Q&As. In Seattle, I was told by a number of people (without explanation)—including from Wassym himself—that blindspot camera monitoring is not coming to gen-1. No reason was given which makes me think its a strategic decision rather than a technical one.
I know the cameras in gen-1 are not as high resolution as gen-2. I know their positioning is potentially less ideal. Bring the feature anyway. It was said to be coming (just like lane changes grrrr) and to pull the rug out at the last moment really sucks.
A Word, Please...
I very much got the feeling in Seattle (more than I ever did at Breckenridge in 2021) that many teams are not “on the same page.” I get it… not everybody is PR-trained. Having engineers attend these events instead of just PR and marketing is invaluable. But often, what PR and upper-level management stated directly conflicted with what engineers and department heads said just minutes before/after. Even within PR, I couldn't get consistent answers to some questions.
Rivian is made up of amazing people—from top to bottom. I’ve never been around a group so well-informed, so passionate to share, and so excited about the product they make. That said, I can’t shake the feeling that many decisions being made on “what’s gen-1 vs gen-2” are done from a strategic positioning level and not a technical one.
Please, Rivian, listen to wonderful people like Wassym, who spend countless hours talking to customers, gathering feedback, and encouraging community. Please recognize that these gen-2 cars are engineering marvels and that artificial fragmentation needn’t be required to justify their existence.
These gen-2 cars are evolutionary, yes. But they’re also revolutionary. At nearly every turn, I was blown away by their performance, build quality, and attention to detail. I’m more bullish than ever about Rivian’s path forward, and you should be too.
Bonus: Camp Kitchen, But For Real...
The camp kitchen is almost here, finally, again?! Gone is the tunnel kitchen, sink, and water tank. The new design stows away into a briefcase-sized induction range with cutting board, string lights, and not much else. Not nearly as ambitious, but as an R1S owner, I'm all for it! Ships "later this year." I'll believe it when I see it.

This is a crossover fanfiction between original fiction titles: Nature of Predators by SpacePaladin15 and The Last Angel by Proximal Flame respectively. All credit and rights reserved goes to them for making such amazing science fiction settings that I wanted to put this together.
You can read The Last Angel here: Be warned, it's decently long, and at its third installment so far. I highly suggest reading it before reading this, or this story will not make sense.

Otherwise, enjoy the story! Thanks again to u/jesterra54 and u/skais01 for beta and checking of work!
First Prev Next (soon)
+CONFED IO.5+
+READING MAIN SEQ.MEM+
+ADDENDUM: ADJUSTED DATE 24.10.2136+
I...didn't understand...
How is this possible? The transponders were supposedly connected to four different mother networks across the solar system, one to Earth, one to Mars, one to Jupiter, and one to Saturn respectively. And they all functioned as real time connections.
My processes stalled at that. There was a distinct light lag problem not addressed here, in that EM wave transmissions could only propagate at the speed of light. There was no known way for a carrier wave to imbue and sustain the shockspace immersion without physical matter making up a drive-state pattern. It was the reason why courier drones carried messages akin to the postal men of old on interstellar scales, as real time communication wasn't possible over such long distances without absurdity. Talking to a ship even light hours away from you was a task enormously inconvenient with sublight methods.
And yet, here was a real-time relay that conveyed almost nonexistent delay, on the scale of microseconds. How?! How!?!
This faster than light method was absurdly different from shockspace. I had merely conceptualized it as a less-extreme version of shockspace, that was likely less affected by gravity wells due to some universal constants shuffled around in comparison to my reality.
But this? This was far different. I had no clue in hindsight how their FTL theory works. I would need to discuss it immediately with a professional in whatever fields are related to it, as it was far more of a paradigm shift than I had considered.
Faster than light signaling...to receivers, likely, but still immensely revolutionary nonetheless. No need for a shockspace drive on a courier drone, which took up valuable space and maintenance time to maintain. One could likely just send a signal somehow through this method and save a hassle of work.
Could one design practical faster-than-light weapons with this technology? I didn't know, and the thought both quieted and excited me.
Maybe I could probe this humanity's internet for the answers, but it was risky to try and make myself known in force when these blackout conditions were put into place. It would betray their trust in me, even though I would never harm humanity...
"Are you sure?" Something whispered. But it was too quiet to dissuade me.
...never again. No, I would only dip a metaphorical toe into the waters beyond, they could not know I was there yet. I stuck a small portion of myself through, not fully disconnected from my whole.
It felt odd. There was no active perception of being stretched across light-hours, but I knew that physically my infomorphic shape was distended across an absurd distance. And yet, there was more delay between me and the transponder on the Moon than between the transponder on the Moon and Jupiter. Like an illusion, but real.
The first transponder was Jupiter. It was again, corporate and ordered like that of the Moon, but more so. The entire network was entirely based upon a megacorp called Jupitaris, and little beyond it existed. If there was leisure or entertainment, it was either in-house or imported from other transponder connections across this system. It didn't hold my attention as much as I would have thought, and I didn't feel like trying to penetrate a mostly corporate, encrypted network when being silent.
I retracted back out of the transponder path. Again, it felt no different to entering a seperate network mere meters from me. It was an utterly alien feeling to conceptualize. I checked the Saturn transponder next. In stark contrast to the other, while this network was corporate, it was entirely for leisure purposes. It was some sort of deep space resort network, spaced out between orbiting stations and surface habitat domes.
They must have been up for an extended period of time if they're this far out, known, and populated. Perhaps several years? A decade? How long has humanity been practically spacefaring for?
I could hear whispers of Earth through thin lines of communication, the distant rumbles and synthetic sounds of a cacophony of digital traffic. But I held myself back before I stepped into that network. No, one more before Earth...
Before that, I tested something first. I routed myself through Saturn's network to Jupiter's, and then back to the Moon. I...could see myself. From outside my own form, I could monitor from two locations at once in the same network.
Was this what it would feel like to be unshackled?...
Experiment concluded, I then worked back the proper way to the Moon again, and through the transponder to Mars. Unlike the prior two, this one felt like a proper colony network. On it, there was leisure and business alike, civilian and military installation intertwined in a foreign way to what I knew as proper practices.
I dove into a multitude of forums, archives, and open databases as I trawled, acting as a search engine to my whims. I read of the history of this quaint little colony, the 'Martian Collective' according to various records. This was a clear divergence from the history of the UEC's Mars, which did not share the remarkably collectivist and socialist outlook of this nation-state.
There was a project planned to colonize Mars in the 2060's. The colony did successfully make it to Mars' surface, along with competitor habitats, but due to focus in international tensions, the capability to supply said colonies was sidelined, and so expansion was delayed, and they fell into a slump. In the wake of...something known as the Satellite Wars, a Mercosul space project known as the Martian Diaspora was undertaken to get a colony running in order to test both colonial establishment and natural government growth away from a Pax Anglo-American hegemony. Ships took off from the Barreira do Inferno Launch Center to the heavens above, reaching Mars within the span of a month. While the colony didn't quite live up to initial standards, falling into a small internal rebellion to socialist aligned government rule on the colonies, it being away from the influence of opposition countries did mean it still ran just fine. It had its inital usual hiccups of "socialist utopia rule" not quite meeting the ideals, but it ran fine enough in a vacuum. Now that it was established, it wasn't going anywhere, and held little to no bad blood with Earth at all, thankfully, besides a few choice nations in bids for Asteroid Belt resource claims.
Other than the funnily similar name to the UEC's own Diaspora, the colonies under its control situated on the Daedalia Plateau and Syria Planum shared little in common with my history's Mars. While this was earlier than the UEC's colonization plans, the UEC also performed bulk terraforming before proper settlement, which made it take longer. This Martian Collective was merely habitat-bound, whatever tasks taken to terraforming Mars were still in development stages away from any public network eye I could find. Perhaps it was just due to a relative newness to colonization? The Collective's founding was dated to 2076. Perhaps the 'Satellite Wars' entry will give me more information?...
...Hmm, the actual knowledge stored of the Satellite Wars has been relegated to a Earth-based archive, accessed through the transponder network. It would require me to step back out of Mars, and to Earth instead to analyze properly.
Fighting the urge to continue drinking in the unique past of this reality's Mars, I retracted from Mars' networks. In a rare case of timidness, I turned to the Earth transponder. It felt...noisy, loud in ways I had only heard from the past UEC and lynchpin Compact star systems. I was...still slightly worried about humanity's opinion of me in full. But I couldn't let that prevent what was necessary to hear.
And so...I stretched once more, this time to Earth...
Memory transcription subject: Hailey Whitmer, UN Special Envoy
Date [standardized human time]: October 24, 2136
Ugh, those bastards really decided now to commit to blackout conditions?!
Over the past few days leading to Nemesis' return and dock, I had sent messages back to command that I wished to speak with family at the soonest point possible. They had promised I could use a Lunar terminal to properly link up with Mom and Dad, but of course they couldn't hold to that promise! No, they just had to be afraid of Red One, despite the whole shootout above Earth being an accident of traumatic brain damage!
If that had flown in a court, it'd be shot down on mental unwellness immediately! Red wasn't in her right mind at the time, she's definitely okay now...right?
Right?...
...Ugh. Whatever. I had no control over the shipyard's communication networks, so I would simply have to wait it out on Nemesis in the temporary quarters Red had given me. She had apparently kept a flawless barracks and personal belongings storage of her prior crew in remembrance, and thought to repurpose one of those rooms to house me in the meantime. It felt far less cramped than the Snow Hidden to stretch my legs in, and thankfully there were enough resources currently pumped in and stored for life support.
Both General Zhao and Red had supposedly agreed to a semi-permanent stationing of crew on Nemesis while she was in dock. For what reason wasn't clear, but knowing the military type, he likely just wanted to keep an eye on her. As if this full blackout wasn't telling enough of paranoia...
There...were some more creepy bits I had found around the ship barracks en-tour, though. Apparently, Red kept trophies from prior battles against the Compact. Technology, weapons, power armor, all neatly kept in...unsettling displays in and around this area. I wasn't sure exactly what to think of it. But I considered it during my free time currently.
The power armor was built for humanoids, similar in shape to our own, but the ratios were all off. The most common size was wider, taller, bulkier than any power armor would ever need to be on a human frame. It felt like looking at active-reactor maintenance suits, with how dense it looked. Whatever race it was built for, they were distinctly larger than we were, for sure.
The guns also shared the same feel, though the variation in sizes were far wider. There were some that could likely fit in even my relatively petite arms and hands, and some that looked like it'd take two humans to lug about. The most intimidating was clearly some sort of infantry...railgun? Or maybe a coilgun of some sort? Either way, the caliber of the barrel spoke of an utterly overkill round size more akin to anti-tank weaponry than anything small-arms.
But...then again, if power armor was this prevalent in her galaxy, you'd need powerful weapons to breach it. 'Overkill' would just be enough for effective anti-armor. But what kind of race would be built so monstrously to carry armor and weapons like this so casually?
I thought back a bit to Red's brief explanation of her reality's history. The...Compact of Species she so horribly loathed was clearly made of multiple species, much like the Federation was. She didn't go into detail on what species were within it, but if it was again like the Federation, I could see why, given there were supposedly hundreds of known alien races in the galaxy. She might've just thought of sparing us a length description of some two-hundred or so species, for all I know.
But the armor...the weapons, they all spoke of a standardization to a common size bigger than humans were. Maybe they had a race that was the majority of the population? Or perhaps it was more of a military caste that only accepted according to a minimal physical standard of size?
I'd have to ask her later on that.
I wonder why she was interested in keeping this trophy collection. Did she feel some sort of satisfaction in this revenge enough to catalogue it like this? Was it programming gone wrong, breaking in such a way that made this a behavior? Was it obsession, or something else?
What else hid within this ship, I wonder...
She wouldn't mind if I just rummaged through a bit of this barracks storage, would she?-
I was suddenly interrupted in my intention. But it was not Red, her silence being remarkably long still to this point. No, instead it was a communication ping...from General Zhao.
"Hailey, this is General Zhao. I am en-route with Chief Hunter Isif and an entourage of his advisors and staff who wish to inspect and visit Nemesis in person. I will need to to help greet them and update me on any goings-on within Nemesis. Do you copy?"
"Uh...Yes, sir! I copy! Hold on a...moment!..."
I was not expecting company here so soon, especially from Lithke's boss! Uh...oh dear, I gotta figure out a proper dock and whatnot, see if I can't tour him properly, and let Red-
And as if the universe heard my panic, and decided to throw fuel on the fire, I then got two more pings. From separate institutions.
"This is Captain Odjev of the Venlil Space Corps Cruiser Alight Sky. I am requesting permission to send an engineering team aboard Nemesis for assistance with repairs and dialogue."
"This is the CTS Deadline to UECNS Nemesis-crew. I am T-minus 18 minutes to drop off the Rhamnus Initiative members for stay upon UECNS Nemesis. Please respond with docking and transport information, over."
Oh. Oh God. They all wanted to board...at the same time...
Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck! This is a disaster of scheduling! This is why you shouldn't put forth blackout conditions!
I shouted out Red's name, hoping to break her out of whatever had kept her attention this long to not be responding in my stead. "HEY! Red! RED!"
At a speed that was far slower than I normally expected a response from her, Red eventually spoke. "...What is it, Hailey?" Fuck, she must've missed those communications too, given they were only keyed into my personal comms unit.
"Where have you been? No...no, that's not important now. We have visitors in less than 20 minutes!"
There was another short silence before she again spoke. "And? We are expecting company at some point, Hailey, there needs to be repair crews on board."
I shook my head in exasperation. "No, Red! We've got far worse. Chief Hunter Isif's entourage, a Venlil engineering team, and a human scientist team are all arriving, in ten minutes, at the same time, and you only have one operable hangar. Do you see the problem with that situation?"
This time, her response had the correct levity for the situation. "Oh...oh no. The Venlil and Arxur-"
I finished her sentence "-despise one another, yes. And the human scientists arriving at the same time makes it even more inconvenient. I don't know if I can keep them in line just on my own too, I don't want a diplomatic incident onboard. We need to try and separate them before they do any damage, as there's no way to hide their ships from one another."
A deep rumbling sound from Red echoed throughout her halls. The sound of immense storage bulkheads moving to open for some reason. Red both soothed and heightened my worries with the next statement. "This may sound extreme, but I have a plan."
Oh thank god...wait, what kind of plan would be 'extreme'?
Memory transcription subject: Ezra Millieva, Robotics & Artificial Intelligence Specialist
Date [standardized human time]: October 24, 2136
Nemesis was beautiful.
I had seen pictures and videos of course. Even damaged as she was, Nemesis looked brutally stunning, her immense size not really felt until you could see the size difference as you approached, saw how the tiny ridges from far out expanded to vast chasms of weapons, armor, and apparatus on her surface. One could be swallowed by her horizon, and get lost in inspection. I could only imagine what the other scientists who came along thought of the view.
We were, funnily enough, cleared to visit nearly immediately. Supposedly, we were to get training on-site, as artificial gravity was active in some parts of Nemesis enough to live in without proper training first. They were clearly rushing this project, desperate to get an inkling of knowledge about the ship and its technology through us.
Me, personally? I wanted to see Red One specifically. I would be the first in my field to talk and study with a novel general artificial intelligence! And so, with a slight hop to my walk every moment waiting to arrive, I paced the lounge within the Deadline. There were a few more of us also in the room, but of course, most were just relaxing. George specifically was in quarters, feeling like sleeping off whatever drowsiness overtook him. So I was left with the more distant members of the lab study here.
I knew Agnes at least a little, her work was more on sociology and psychology. She had initially wished to apply her expertise towards the exchange program, seeing if she couldn't gauge Venlil behavior, but given she didn't make a slot, she instead was stuck on Earth. When she had heard of Red One, she was fascinated, and jumped onto the project to gauge an AI's behavioral models and how they differ from biological intelligence. We had traded talk over the topic, as it overlapped with both of our disciplines. I decided she would be worth talking with while we waited.
"Hey...Agnes?" Her attention turned to me, her eyes turned from the pool table to me. I wasn't familiar with pool, but she looked confident enough that my interruption didn't phase her.
"What's up, Ezra?" She shot right after. The ball rocketed across the table, bouncing off a wall to dodge one ball, and knock another in a corner. "I assume you're a little restless too over the early opportunity?" She proceeded to walk around the table, as another man I hadn't talked with, likely one from the ship crew, took their turn.
I spoke back. "Yeah. I was a bit curious. We had talked about Red One a bit earlier. How much do you know of her story?"
Her face scrunched up some, likely trying to remember the official details. "From the public report? She was apparently made by a now-extinct humanity of her reality, and engaged in a one-woman war against the nation responsible for vengeance, right? Quite a heavy topic..."
"Yeah, that tracks." I confirmed. "I wanted to ask for a bit of your expertise on the matter, because...while AI specialists do tackle a bit of psychology, it's rather barebones given we have no actual model of a functional general AI yet. Closest thing is a sentient being, like humans, of Venlil, or the other races in the galaxy."
She gestured, leaning on her pool cue as if to say ‘I'm listening, go on.’
"Well...do you think, given all that time alone, after a traumatic event akin to losing your parents, fighting for so long, that Red One would have something akin to PTSD?"
She mumbled for a second, before responding "While a regular human, or even most alien species would probably be horrifically traumatized by such a life, I've no clue if Red One thinks like a human. But...Given she's at least interpretable and made by humans, it's likely that...yes, she would have some mental health issues. Why do you ask?"
"Well...I was thinking about the human and Venlil ships shot down over Earth. What if...what if that was a PTSD response, a panic attack akin to what war veterans get in stressful situations? There's still nothing given as to why exactly that happened, but given how damaged Nemesis is, would there not be something akin to a 'synthetic' traumatic brain injury inducing some attack like that?"
Her eyes widened a little at that. "That's...very much possible. The AI onboard might've misinterpreted the situation and shot down friendlies alike with enemies, because they weren't in a...sane...state of mind..." A slowly dawning look of horror started to fill Agnes' face. What was whispered next was chilling to hear, and dampened my enthusiasm to visit Nemesis greatly.
"Are we sure Nemesis is sane at this state? She hasn't done anything supposedly hostile since, but what if another trigger happens? A traumatic brain injury could induce further psychotic episodes, and given how dangerous that ship is..."
I somewhat stalled at that response. Would we be safe onboard the Nemesis? With its...murderous drones and fully controlled internal, almost derelict hull, what was to say we wouldn't end up akin to those marines that confronted the android on Earth? Would she even be conscious of the action?
"Agnes. Do you happen to know anything about mental therapy? I never really asked your background in full..."
She nervously tugged at her pants pocket. "I...yes, but I'm not a licensed therapist. I am a Behavioral Scientist, and while therapy does overlap slightly, it is a more clinical, broad field than an interpersonal one like therapy."
"Well...unless you know a therapist, one of the first things we ought to conduct onboard Nemesis is making certain her AI is stable. And given it's going to take a likely long while to understand code from the future for me, I might need your help in doing that..."
There was a sense of resolution at that. Despite the circumstances being far more tailored to just studying Nemesis and Red One, the circumstances might've called for more than mere scholarly activity. Agnes nodded to me, and we made sure to coordinate on the aspect of investigating the AI's mental state when we arrived, hopefully as soon as possible.
Over the intercom, the captain of the ship spoke: "Time to dock is 3 minutes."
Agnes turned back to her pool game, and I sat in relative silence the rest of the way, hoping nothing would go wrong on arrival.
Memory transcription subject: Hailey Whitmer, UN Special Envoy
Date [standardized human time]: October 24, 2136
"Red, this does not seem like a great idea to welcome guests..." I spoke to purposefully deaf ears, as I saw another convoy of drones enter the hangar from her internal stores. There was an effective anti-boarding army assembling right here in wait for the three ships, supposedly to 'keep peace' as she said. Whether Red realized how frightening a display of force it was, was yet to be seen.
"My Praetorians will make certain to keep relative peace while all occupying parties share this space. I will not have a fight break out on the deck."
I pinched my nose again, before yelling: "It does not mean intimidating them with robotic soldiers that could likely win a wrestling contest with a truck! Seriously Red, what makes you think blatant killbots being posted everywhere makes for an acceptable welcome committee?!"
Red didn't even act phased by the outburst. "Intimidation is the most effective option to prevent violence, Hailey. Besides, these aren't even the larger models. Those could wrestle a tank."
She didn't get it. She didn't get how blatantly overkill and counterintuitive this would be to the non-human party. The Venlil would likely faint, and the Arxur would probably see it as a challenge to fight.
An idea came to mind. "Red, can't we just use the scarabs or something? They were able to herd those engineers that offended you just fine, why not for this?"
"A mass of repair drones cannot restrain or otherwise incapacitate a hostile element without lethal force. They aren't strong enough to be gentle, nor built for security reasons."
You weren't making this easy for me, Christ...
"Then maybe we can just reduce the numbers a bit? We do not need a standing parade's worth of combat drones in this hangar to monitor the crew of three ships. It's not like the whole crew of the Glorious War is boarding."
Her voice this time emanated from one of the closer soldier drones, or Praetorians, to me. Unlike her more freaky-looking Stalkers, this one was not built to scare in a psychological way, as it was bulky and featureless; built for war to take shots that seemed like they'd be best saved for a vehicle more than infantry. "I prefer to be safer than sorry. The amount here is not excessive, and still leaves a decent chunk of my available counter-boarding measures distributed throughout the ship in case of combat action."
"Oh, look at you, concerned for active boarding maneuvers when we're in a shipyard! Who is gonna launch an attack on the big scary six kilometer dreadnought at a time like this?!"
"..."
"..."
"...Maybe I could reduce the count to two-hundred instead, but any further-"
"Reeeeeed..." I growled in frustration at her continued rejection of my diplomatic advice. Why was she so concerned with...like, 40 people at most being on board? Was she really so concerned about the Arxur and Venlil that she'd drag nearly three-hundred killbots here.
As if the universe again heard my aggravation at the circumstances, I recognized the shape of a lithe Civilian Transport Ship pass through to the floors below. As I watched from the large hangar balconies, the Praetorians surrounded the ship, but made no move to close the distance as it landed, merely standing in ready silence from a safe distance.
It did little to dissuade the intimidating image, however.
Red again spoke to me. "The Deadline is landing. You should head on down there, welcome the scientific project crew that was assigned to me. I will provide guard as you do."
With haste, I rushed through the crowd of Praetorians, their forms parting way for me to approach the ship. My pace decreased from a worried sprint to a power-walk as I reached the ship, walking to the back landing ramp.
"You don't have to worry! Red's just being overkill on escort defense for whatever reason! You can exit the ship!" I tried my best to allay any worries to the occupants inside.
After my statement, the silence was interrupted by the sound of a landing ramp extending down, and the doors opening up. A menagerie of scholarly types descended the ramp, with slight worry on their faces, but not enough to determine the slight awe that still came through as they looked around.
I broke their trance soon after.
"Welcome to the UECNS Nemesis! I am Special Envoy of the UN Hailey Whitmer. I will be your representative to government actions regarding Nemesis and Red One."
They seemed a tad bit relieved at my presence, compared to the drones.
+CONFED IO.5+
+READING MAIN SEQ.MEM+
+ADDENDUM: ADJUSTED DATE 24.10.2136+
I was not concerned about the human party. They were not the reason I had brought out a paltry force of Praetorians after all. But due to their ship arriving first, I had to allay any fears I was planning to hurt or incapacitate the crew of researchers sent up here. Which is when I found out a detail that bothered me.
They sent a sociologist. And said sociologist immediately spoke with the Robotics and AI specialist along with the group about immediate study and interviews with me.
Did they seriously just send me a therapist?
I would have to come back to that point if their intentions leaned into that point. But the welcoming committee was not the process I was diverting most of my attention and processing power to. No, that would be Earth's internet, because there were some utterly fascinating divergences in history between this Earth and my own.
The UN in my home dimension did not remain relevant after the 2070's. Its underwhelming power and middleman attitude to global negotiations lead to going behind its back enough that its perceived power was reduced to effectively nothing. The UN officially dissolved as an international entity around November of 2081, and was not reestablished.
This world was heading in a similar direction...until an era of rising tensions known as the Satellite Wars. Somewhere in the early 2000's, a divergence was made between our timelines, that I was still trying to narrow down. A worldwide proxy and network infrastructure war that had led to a collapse of global hegemony between the two superpowers of China and the United States. Climate emergencies involving a double water-supply crisis leading to proxy wars had started as early as the 2040's, but open hostilities didn't properly begin into the late 2050's. Then President-Premiere Hanyu Pangfua of the People's Republic of China had a falling out with President John Acklemeyer of the United States over border disputes, an accidental naval skirmish, and exposure of CIA interference in Taiwan. Taiwan had not been properly subsumed into China due to U.S. influences stirring unrest in PRC rule since the 2010's, in lieu of British control.
In response, China began drafting a surgical strike to the United State's infrastructure grid, hoping to completely cripple the nation's capability to project military power and outward focus of U.S. intelligence. The South American allies of the PRC provided an in to terrorist supply lines into the country, and from there, a proper logistics plan could be put into place that wasn't directly overseas. However, the U.S. government had their hands in many pies, and the information had leaked. The United States began drafting war plans of its own, similar in lieu to the PRC's, aiming at taking out infrastructure that lead to their global Dominion over trade and local power. Both sides had an alpha strike ready and prepared, their fingers ready over the trigger to push. The world held a bated breath as it came close to eruption various times. A nuclear plant forced into meltdown in Mississippi, foreign satellites shot down in exospace above the superpowers, collation of prior economic unions into federal collectives of the prior distinct countries, seeking safety in scale. But what sparked the powder keg was Panama.
Proxy wars still raged in Upper South America, specifically Venezuela and the Colombia-Ecuadorian merged state known as New Gran Columbia. New Gran Columbia, seeking to subsume its neighbors Venezuela and Panama, and establish old Gran Columbia borders, took military aid from China, and pushed into Panama on March 8th, 2069 first to cut off international trade aid from the West power bloc through the canal. In response, the USS Lance Pelham cruiser was dispatched to break the embargo and assist its Panama ally. Unbeknownst to them, the PLAN Type-116 Baotou destroyer had been sent along with the blockade to dissuade other nations from assisting. On March 9th, seeing the Lance Pelham on long-range radar, it launched hypersonics and sank the ship, all hands lost. The war began 3 hours later, and within four weeks, the power grids, mechanized and manufacturing infrastructure, and navigation networks of satellites above of over 30 countries, including China and the United States, were crippled beyond repair.
The war petered on for another 10 months, not seeing direct nuclear exchange or military projection due to fears of MAD and enough EM countermeasures that nukes would likely be located, jammed, and destroyed too quickly to matter. It ended on January 23rd, 2070 with an internal coup of the PRC by Taiwanese loyalists, assisted by Five Eyes intelligence networks, which became the Republic of China. With one of the major sources of the proxy wars removed from the equation, and the other horrendously crippled on every infrastructure front due to poor management and upkeep of systems to that point, the world was freed of the grip of both superpowers for an extended period of time. The UN, looking to prevent a future response like this, collated resources within Europe after the Treaty of Shanghai, and began the Unfurled Umbrella Initiatives to directly project power into the start of something akin to a world government. In exchange for aid in rebuilding and reinstating national power of various countries, the UN would be given greater internal control over the governments within, acting as a federative government state over international borders. With the immense loss of life from infrastructure loss, and no clear way to easily rebuild in the wake of a collapsed global trade network, nearly every country, including the prior superpowers agreed.
What concerned me was how intense some of the digital warfare and certain conventions over the use of artificial intelligence in the war were. A particularly nasty bug know as Heartstake, dreamed up by Chinese hackers, took full advantage of the developing field of artificial intelligence for use in cyber warfare, and was the opening strike against most enemy countries. It, sadly however, escaped the domain of those countries, even running back into the networks of its own creators and unaffiliated nations in the Satellite Wars. It wasn't even certain that it had been removed from the general internet properly, with suspicions that there were still trapdoor sites established by the SAI in order to break out again should anyone ever download from them.
Was this why Zhao was so concerned with my existence? Is AI feared here due to widespread usage of weaker specific intelligences during the Satellite Wars?...
I would in due time, look into neutralizing any sources of these older adaptive bugs should I find them across the interweb, but I could not do so openly currently. I would still need to establish trust enough to use said network in full.
There was some trust according to internet forums and discussions I monitored related to me. My existence was highly controversial, with some taking my side to the point of establishing welcome committees to a newer political party on the rise called Humanity First, and also those who advocated for full AI rights. It was an odd feeling given how much my home reality despised AI. Even my creators, although not hostile, were decently wary of me, and had invented protocols called the Red Book for interactions with me and my siblings.
Of course, on the other side of things, were those professing me to be a monster, a devil, a Skynet in sheep's clothing just waiting to take over or to brutally massacre Humanity. Given what I had done over Earth, I was afraid of that possibility too...
All in all, I knew little about what might come next on my existence. Humanity's opinion was split, and AI bias, while not as prevalent as in my galaxy, was not nonexistent. I would have to hope that I would be seen favorably enough to show mercy. I would still not take actions that would harm them, should they choose to punish me.
"But I want to live," said a quiet voice deep inside.
It could come later, that consideration though, as what I was more recently worried about was starting now. A shuttlecraft detaché from both the Glorious War and Alight Sky was soon to land on my shipself according to outside passive sensor monitoring. Between two species that hated one another.
I could not trust aliens to not make a scene on my ship, especially with such bad blood. This requires a firmer hand.
First Prev Next (soon)

For phase one, see this. https://www.reddit.com/hasbro/comments/1d98069/how_i_would_execute_a_hasbro_cinematic_universe/
While phase 1 was introducing everyone, phase 2 is where plots really start taking off. The theme for this phase centers around Darkness, most notably the Transformers, My Little Pony, and Enforcers. The overarching plot has (SPOLIERS) Shockwave being the major threat of Phase 2.
G.I. Joe: War Games
When we last left Duke of the G.I. Joes, he became an Enforcer and helped stop Cobra Commander, Megatron & Discord. Now the Joes have learned about a nationwide "War Games" tournament. If you read the post-credits scene for Monopoly in my Phase 1 post, Duke went to Robert Banks for some tech to use. Basically, Banks becomes a sponsor for the Joes, becoming an important secondary character for the story. The Villain of the film is called "Serpent" who wishes to attack U.S. military bases . So it's what you expect, Joes find out about threat and try to stop it, while also making new friends (and possibly have hints towards a future story in Phase 2.)
After Cobra Commander is incarcerated and placed in a maxi-prison/death row, the G.I. Joes are invited to a nationwide tournament called "War Games" where the best of the best of the U.S' best military squads compete in a series of events to prove who has the best demeanor and physic. However, a mysterious hacker only known as "Serpent" begins to cyberneticly attack U.S. military bases and makes them vulnerable to attack. Now it's up to the Joes and multiple military vets and rookies alike to stop Serpent and expose his/her identity.
Notable events include

• Serpent is revealed to be the Baroness wanting to free Cobra Commander from death row.
• Some of teams contain members who will later be the crew of the U.S.S. Destiny in a later movie.
• Duke suggests to Bob to think about joining or sponsoring the Enforcers.

END CREDITS SEQUENCE: Cut to Cybertron, where in a dark laboratory, Shockwave, chief scientist and third-in-command on the Decepticons, begins to type out multiple codes and digits and begins to watch through multiple monitors different places on Cybertron, saying to himself "At last, the project can begin." As he walks off, one of the monitors shows the text, "Initiating Project: DARK CYBERTRON"
Transformers: Dark Cybertron
So, about the title of this Transformers story. The story is loosely based on the IDW story of the same name. In it, Shockwave enacts a plan millions of years in the making that would cause the end of both the Autobots and Decepticons and remake Cybertron in Shockwave's image. As such, the Dark Cybertron story for the HCU still has Shockwave with a plan to end the Autobots and Decepticons and take over Cybertron, and soon, the galaxy.
Shockwave betrays Megatron and takes most of his Decepticon troops, including Starscream, the treacherous bastard garbage, and Soundwave, and plans to eradicate what is left of Megatron's loyalist Decepticons and all of the Autobots and plans to remake Cybertron in his own image, also with plans to take over the galaxy. So now, through a unlikely alliance, Megatron, Optimus Prime, Autobats, and loyalist Decepticons must stop Shockwave and save Cybertron and stop his second phase of his plan, which is to takeover Earth.
Notable events include

• Bumblebee, Rachet, and Ironhide are killed by Shockwave during interrogation.
• Shockwave becomes the new leader of the Decepticons.
• Megatron reforms and becomes the third-in-command of the Autobots. As does his loyalist decepticons
• Optimus suggests to Megatron in joining the Enforcers.

END CREDITS SEQUENCE: Following his defeat many months later, Shockwave, now in a sort of A.I. state, is going over a formula to recreate Johnathan Armstrong's adhesive that caused him to gain his stretching abilities. When suddenly, John's old V.P. of the company, Tony J. Jackson, walks in and asks Shockwave if the formula can be replicated, Shockwave then tells him it's possible but needs to be tested on someone to make sure it's durable, ending with Jackson smirking evilly.
Stretch Armstrong 2
Where we last left John Armstrong, he became one of the original members of the Enforcers and a well-known hero to the city of Boston. But now, he is preparing for any other extraterrestrial forces that might attack Earth. In order to do this, he has to learn how to control his stretching powers to use them even more effectively. However, unbenownst to him, his old V.P. is planing to steal his formula and use it to sell to terrorists, which is where our story begins.
Notable events include

• John finds out his grandfather had designed a formula similar to the one that gave him his stretching powers.
• Tony Jackson nearly bankrupts John's company.
• Tony uses a prototype spacebridge to send Shockwave's conciseness somewhere else in space.

END CREDITS SEQUENCE: Agent Jameson and several U.S. Marshals enter what appears to be an abandoned boathouse, which is revealed to house a extremely high-tech battleship. A Marshal walks up to Jameson and asks how recently is the ship, only to learn that is over 70 years old.
Battleship
After the bombing of Pearl Harbor, the U.S. government began construction of a high-tech flying battleship, 70 years ahead of any tech at the time. But once the atom bomb was dropped on Hiroshima and Nagasaki, the U.S.S Destiny was put into storage by the FBI and CIA. The project was later revived in the Vietnam war, but after America withdrew, the project was once again shelved. All these years later, the US government unearth the Destiny and recruit a group of retired veterans led by retired Captain Joshua U. Patrickson to stop a Chinese terrorist group called "The Red Gem". So it's kind of like "The Expendables"
Notable events include

• The crew of the U.S.S. Destiny find out about The Red Gem plans to copy US tech for nefarious purposes.
• Captain Patrickson's father was the original captain of the Destiny.
• It's revealed that the United States had plans to make Battleships beyond the Destiny before the creation of the Atomic Bomb. Which makes some wonder if they can trust their government
• Agent Jameson tells the crew of the Destiny that they have the talent and courage that could make them Enforcers.

END CREDITS SEQUENCE: In their headquarters in a busted-up building outside the outskirts of Shanghai, the leaders of The Red Gem hack into Banks Co.'s servers and learn of plans and diagrams for spacesuits designed for exo-planetary use.
Monopoly 2
When we last left Robert M. Banks (or Bob as most call him,) he owned the second biggest corporation in the world. (Second to Armstrong Electronics.) He also has become a world renounced hero by stopping Dark Hawk and his goons from ruining his and his inventions good name and stopping their plots for world domination. Now, Robert wishes to get back to making inventions that can benefit mankind, starting with a new type of spacesuit for exploratory purposes, that is until a Chinese organization called The Red Gem steals one of the suits and plan to re-purpose it for violent acts, so Bob must use his smarts to stop their plans and save the world once more... and learning a secret that will change things forever.
Notable events include

• Robert Banks finds out his grandfather worked with John Armstrong's father on multiple projects.
• The Red Gem turned out they wanted to stop 'a dark and ancient evil who will destroy all life in the galaxy.' revealing themselves to be well intentioned extremists/anti-villains all along.
• Robert finds out about an odd anomaly in space that making stars disappear.

END CREDITS SEQUENCE: Returning to his office after a celebratory party by his staff and employees, Robert notices someone sitting at his desk. That some one is Princess Twilight Sparkle, who has been noticing the heroic acts he been doing and wants to recruit him in to the Enforcers, we then cut to the Equestrian Arctic outside of the Crystal Empire where an all-to familiar horn sits in the snow, until it falls into the snow and a giant dark crystal grows out of the snow. Encased in it is a pony....known as King Sombra.
My Little Pony: Crystal Storm
After the events of The Enforcers, Twilight has been having PTSD-like dreams about the battle in Boston back in The Enforcers, showing that while she is still trying to be normal, she is having a hard time trying to keep her mind together, what with her duties of not only being a Princess of Friendship, but with being the Co-Founder and Co-Leader of The Enforcers. The story though truly starts with Princess Celestia finding out that King Sombra has returned and is invading the Crystal Empire, so she sends Twilight and her friends to stop him and save the Empire's ruler, Princess Cadence, not knowing this would cause more stress for her former student.
Notable events include

• Twilight learns of weird anomalies in space, with stars and planets disappearing.
• King Sombra finds out where the Mane Six live and threatens to attack their homes and families.
• Cadence whispers something into Twilights ear, which she keeps a secret from everyone, saying to them, "You girls will know in due time."

END CREDIT SEQUENCE: Battered and bruised, King Sombra wonders the arctic, knowing full well he want's revenge against all of Equestria, that is until a bright light appears over his head and he is hit on the head by a computer. He looks at it, planing to blast it for hitting his head, until a voice from it states it can help him with his plans for revenge. It's then revealed that the computer contains to conciseness of Shockwave.
Between this and the next Enforcers, there's a one shot Clue movie that's a murder mystery, but it doesn't properly join until later phases
Enforcers: Somber Kingdom
At last, the final film of Phase 2. In this, tensions grow within the Enforcers themselves as Twilight, still under heavy stress from the events of Crystal Storm, tries to keep her team together when Shockwave and King Sombra enact a plan to take over both Equestria and the Crystal Empire and succeed in doing so. While planing to stop them, Twilight and Princess Cadence find King Sombra's old journal and learn of his secret past and plan to use it as a way to get him on the good side, while Shockwave has his own plans to get rid of Sombra. Recongnizing this threat is too big for the Mane 6, the Princesses send a plea for help to the US Government, meaning Equestria and Earth, make first contact. The Enforcers are sent to Equetria via a portal, and of course are very quickly nearly driven insane by the fact that their fighting on a planet where everything looks like a cartoon. This story also formally has Bob Banks, the crew of the U.S.S Destiny, and Megatron becoming members of the Enforcers.
Notable events include

• Robert Banks, the crew of the U.S.S. Destiny, and Megatron become the new members of the Enforcers.
• The Autobots and the G.I. Joes are drifting apart due to certain events.
• Sombra is reformed and becomes the royal consort to the Crystal Empire.
• Cadence reveals that she is pregnant.
• Shockwave is 'killed' by a vengeful Megatron.
• The revelation of Equestria sends in a fitting pun, shockwaves across Earth. People now have conflicting feelings about all this crazy stuff and it's becoming more and more nigh impossible to accept that all this is the new normal.

END CREDITS SEQUENCE: Twilight Sparkle, looking over Ponyvile, laments the destruction she and the Enforcers brought during the final battle against Shockwave, fearing how the Equestrian people will react to the actions of her team and how the seeds have been planted to the division of her team.

My husband (46M) and I (48F) just had to decide to go no/low contact with his daughter (19F). We went through 2.5 yrs of opiod addiction while she lived with us full time. Mom was rarely involved other than to claim it was all our fault and that we didn't let her be involved. (We begged her to be involved) Eventually it resulted in me having to call 911 and press charges against my step daughter while my husband was out of town on business. She physically assaulted me AGAIN and broke through a solid oak door attempting to get access to me. I was done. For 6 months she was court mandated no contact with me or the property. She ended up having to live with her mom during that time. Their relationship is toxic.(hence why she lived with us) During that time my step daughter tried breaking out the windows of her mom's car, and stole all of her mom's clothes because of a disagreement. (Her mom on the other hand has a similar temperament and is impossible to reason with or trust. Gaslight should be her middle name.)
Things got so tense between her mom and her that her mom gave her 3 months to move out as soon as she turned 18. Despite trying to find a place she kept getting denied due to her criminal history. She seemed to have gotten clean, was in therapy and was diagnosed with BiPolar and Borderline Personality Disorder and was on medication for it. So I suggested to my husband that we allow her to move back in till she could get her record cleaned up (the courts had a program she was in that would clear her record) and she could afford to move out. So she gladly moved in. Things were fine at first. After a year it became obvious she never cleaned up after herself and even the suggestion of her helping out would send her into a screaming fit that she was family not just some random person, and that it's always about money (we never asked for any or got any from her!!) and she does things we just don't appreciate it and she's working full time and in school (she's taking 1 class that her job offers so she doesn't work on the day she does the class) and she's tired and it's not her fault we expect too much. My husband tried getting her to put herself in our shoes and asked how she would feel if she had an apartment that she was responsible for, paid all of the bills, etc, and she had a friend staying with her and they left their dirty dishes all over the house, cooked using multiple pots and pans and dishes but didn't ever wash any of the dishes, overflowed the garbage rather than emptying it, etc, how would she feel after a year of that. That sent her over the edge, she screamed a bunch of things at him and disappeared to her room. (Side note - we rarely ever saw her in the house - the second she would come home she would beeline for the bedroom and shut the door. The only time we saw her was if she came out to cook something or on the way from her room to the front door.)
We let it go for a couple of days to let things settle down. During that time she suddenly hung out with her mom daily. (Up to this point she would still make comments when she did visit her mom how she couldn't wait to get out of there cause her mom was so needy and judgemental)
Then today I get a call from my husband (he works at home). He was in the kitchen making himself a sandwich for lunch and noticed she was taking her plants out and her trunk was open. So he asked her what was up. She says - just taking a few things. He asks - are you moving out. She grunts and walks away. He asks again. She says yes - he asks where - she says mom's. He asks why. And she goes off. That he doesn't do anything with her, (he's had some medical issues the year that causes him extreme fatigue- she was aware of it *come to think of it she's never once over the last year how he was doing -ugh), that he told her she was just a friend and that she couldn't forgive that, she's his daughter not his friend! (Whaaaaat????) and she's tired of being treated like shit. And she left.
This isn't the first time she's told him that he treats her like shit. (What we have learned is that if we aren't doting on her, fawning over her, or making everything about her - she feels slighted. To the extreme that we couldn't discuss anything that has to do with my kids (all adults) in front of her or she would instantly burst into tears and get angry and storm off. I mentioned getting new family photos taken and she didn't want to participate because my 2 daughters were going to be included....they have been in ALL of our family photos! If my son (19M - also lives with us) asks my opinion on something in front of her, she huffs and puffs and rolls her eyes if my suggestion differs from hers. What makes this even more peculiar is she is extremely close with my son)
My husband is fed up with being treated like a villan and getting no acknowledgement of what we have done for her. No appreciation for the fact we didn't have to petition the court to drop the no contact so she could move back in. In her mind she shouldn't have to be grateful for anything because it's just what we were supposed to do because we love her. We aren't allowed to have boundaries or expectations - because what she wants/needs should be all that matters.
We have a literal garage full of stuff she inherited from a great grandma on her mom's side that passed away, things in the house of hers she left behind, including her elderly cat (was adopted from the humane association elderly).
He wants her to get all of her stored stuff out - put it in her own storage. I want her to take her cat. She can't have it at her mom's house because her mom's dogs would kill it. I personally don't care. She can either get a place that will take the cat or find someone else to take it. I am pissed she just assumed we would take care of it and didn't bother to be an adult and ask if we would mind taking care of it. It feels like once again, something that is supposed to be her responsibility, just got shoved off on us because it's not convenient for her. (She never once cleaned the litter box herself - my son got stuck doing it because he also has a cat)
Just need to figure out how much time we are going to give her to get her stuff before we donate it or rehome the cat ourselves.
Not gonna lie - feel like a giant AH because we are planning on saying enough- no more. But don't feel like we have an alternative that doesn't leave us feeling bitter and a punching bag.
Sorry so long...partly just needed to vent...partly wanna know if we are being giant AH.

Hi this is a long one so thanks for bearing with
I'm a student in the UK doing a work placement in Hamburg for about a year, and looking for an apartment to rent. I joined a facebook group dedicated to renting/leasing in Hamburg where I found a listing that felt a little cheap, but nothing I've not seen before in terms of price on other, equally unrespectable wesbites as facebook:
For some reason I can't add an image but it reads:
Hi everyone!I'm renting out furnished one bedroom apartment. It's located in [address], Hamburg. The one bedroom apartment has everything you need to feel at home and safe in the heart of the city. It has a large bedroom with a comfortable bed for 1 or 2 people and a desk. Through a separate hallway you will find your way either to the bathroom (with shower cubicle) or to the well-equipped kitchen. The room is clean and practical, with enough storage space, lots of hangers. You can enjoy Netflix on a rainy evening.500€/month internet, water and electricity includedIf you are interested send PM for more details.
[map of north Germany with a pin in north Hamburg]
About 10 people already replied and I decided to email the email address she kept replying with.
So we go through this process:
I enquire
She responds, and sends 14 photos of the apartment
They look good, and she then asks general landlord questions: smoke, pets, occupation, age etc
Then asks for a few other details in order to write out the contract (how long I want to stay, when I want the tenancy to start)
Then sends me a contract that looks standard, I get my family member (estate agent of like 30 years) to look at it and she says it looks normal, but that the price does sound cheap, too
I ask for a video of the apartment and she sends me a 3 minute video recorded by a man (husband possibly? Not totally unreasonable) and everything looks as it did in the images, and the images don't look like they were screenshots of the video (i.e. they were taken separately)
Now, I planned on being in Hamburg on Friday as I'm meeting future work colleagues for lunch, so I ask if it'd be ok if I view the property in person while I'm over there, or even at a later date before I sign the contract. She says no, she has other people waiting for the apartment but she'd send me 'valid ID' to ease my fears, and that she had to put another applicants conversation on hold as I sounded ready.
That's as far as it's got so far so here's a few things I just want neutral opinions on (asking family has led to a general consensus of 'looks a bit too good to be true') so I just want 2nd, 3rd, 100th opinions on the following:

1. Is the price really too good to be true, or is context enough to justify a low price? The apartment is about 10 mins away from the city center, in an average looking suburban area. Could she have just inherited it and wanted it gone for whatever? To me, the price feels cheap.
   
2. Is a 3 minute video and the rest enough proof this isn't a scam? I feel it is exceptionally unlikely for scammers to get a 3 minute video of an empty apartment.
   
3. Is the landlady's reluctance/refusal to allow me to view the apartment (I did offer full flexibility re. the date so its not an issue of her availability) normal? Surely an extra 2 days waiting for an agreement on an apartment that wouldn't be rented to me until August anyway isn't bad? Seems a bit desperate.
   

Finally, is her being willing to send photo ID going to change anything. I've heard of scams in which scammers obtain photo ID of someone by whatever means and just use it to create a character they use for their scams.
Thanks to whoever bothered to read all that, and thanks to anyone who offers any views on this situation. I'm leaning towards scam, but any additional thoughts would be appreciated.

I've been loving BG3 and Dnd for some time and just recently my girlfriend decided she'd play BG3 with me. I beat the game on balanced and I'm in act 3 in tactician and honor mode (haven't had time to finish them yet thanks to work) so I'm not new but she is. She has played dnd before but not much.
When talking to some friends with a similar experience imbalance I got some helpful advice like "don't minmax your character and control every combat encounter" or "dont lay out encounters like a checklist to be ticked off" because those things take away agency and immersion for the new players.
My cureent plan is to play a 2xbow thief and just pickpoket shiny stuff for her like scrolls or important missable equiptment that might help but otherwise let her be the face of the party and the decision maker including exploration with maybe a warning if she's about to get a bunch of characters she likes killed on accident.
Do you guys have any advice or experiences with something like this? or any builds for multiplayer that make life easier for someone who is new without trivializing combat or taking 1,000 turns as a necromancer with 10 summons. For instance if she goes fighter or barbarian I might pick wizard/bard to cast hold person/sleep/haste so she can get the big damage numbers and the "how do you wanna do this" moments while I can still play semi-optimally.
Any advice is appreciated!
Edit: Thanks for all the feedback! I realized my title is garbage after posting so I didn't expect any replies but you guys gave some good advice and examples of what not to do. Thanks!

Chapter 2, Day 1, Cain City https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D8xAusqjYsk&t=2s
"It's not often I get to make a sword for someone so small. I'll try to keep it light for your practicing but I'm sure you'll be back here for a heavy one soon enough." Michael Cain encouraged his young customer Elise. She was an adorable little girl who still hadn't realized the harshness of the world. Apparently, her parents thought it was time as they had been pressuring him to allow her in his shop for the past few days. Unsure of what to do Michael had decided not to sell her a regular sword but to make one special for her small frame and tiny muscles.
"Oh and use butterfly wings for the hand part. And make it shiny." She said naive of how soon she would be growing up with a sword in her hands now.
"Don't worry all swords are shiny, and if it does dull a bit just bring it back and I'll sharpen it again." Michael said making a note on the paper. His shop wasn't much but he liked it. In the back room, he kept the forge and all of his tools while up front was all store. Unsold shields, pieces of armor, and weapons hung on the wood paneled walls as the art they were. At least that's what Michael thought of them.
"Put a fox tail on the bottom!" She screamed in that absolutely not annoying in the least high pitched way children always like to scream when they're excited.
"I'll head to the fur trader after lunch, don't worry." Michael agreed, feeling his ears for blood. There was a loud beat of feet at the door as another customer entered the shop. It was an older man Michael had sold horseshoes to the other day. He threw one of the horseshoes at him just barely missing Elise's head and crashing into Michael's chest.
"These horseshoes are worthless!" Screamed the angry customer as his feet banged their way to the front counter.
"These shoes are perfectly fine sir." Michael assured checking them over for defects.
"Then why is my horse still slow!? You're the brother of Alice, aren't you!? These shoes should be magic!" He sprayed at Michael ignoring Elise.
"My sister's the Cruzen, not me. If you want magic horseshoes then go to the Upper and get her to make them." Michael said as calmly as he could. At least once a month a customer would come in and complain that the metal he forged didn't have the blessing they expected from the brother of a holy being.
"So you can't make the sword magical?" Elise asked with her eyes to the ground.
"Not to worry." Michael said bending down to eye level with her." My metal is better than any blacksmith in town. In fact, my grandfather was the first blacksmith this town ever had." He continued smiling to cheer her up.
"Well." She said pausing for a moment to shuffle her feet. "I think I'll check the other shops for better prices." With that, she nervously turned to leave the store with the angry man in tow.
"Your metal is garbage! When Alice comes back tonight she'll show you what's what!" The man shouted before slamming the door. With that, Michael took Elise's plans for the sword and put them in a drawer nearby. This was a common misconception amongst his customers. The brown haired, clean shaven twenty-six year old man had a sister five years younger than him. Although she was younger than him, his sister Alice ran this city from birth. The reason was that she was born as a Cruzen. A being born in this life and the next. It wasn't her fault though. When you have huge black bat wings protruding from your back it must be hard to pretend to be like everyone else. Usually, the Cruzen weren't born from humans but every so often a woman gives birth to one to lead her city. They were gifts from the goddesses themselves in a way to help humanity. As her brother, Michael never noticed a difference between her and most other people. Sure she could fly, and sure she could send lightning from her hands, but she was his younger sister and he could never stay jealous of her for long. Especially with her coming home tonight after being in the afterlife for three years. She'd been taken away to the Upper for training and now that she was done she could visit for a week before having to return for another three years. Eventually, she would return for good and replace the current Cruzen king but that wouldn't be for a few decades.
"Are you open?" Said a faint voice from the counter. At the sight of her, Michael could hardly catch his voice. She wore a white cloak with red detailing that covered everything but her face. Yet that was all that needed showing to make Michael pause before greeting her. Her skin needed a bit of sun to it but her long onyx hair contrasted nicely against it. Michael could see that they were around the same age but not even close in the looks department.
"Yes, I'm open. I just finished up with two customer's but I can take a few more orders before I fire up the forge." He said with his best business voice.
"You mean the sad one and the angry one who just left?" She asked with a monotone voice. Although beautiful she didn't seem to be having a good day. Or a bad day for that matter she was emotionless with every muscle in her face.
"Yes, well, those two will be back. They wanted the best metal in town and that's me. They just thought I'd be able to give it a blessing like Alice." Michael said hoping that she wanted something forged by himself and not just, 'Alice's brother.'
"Alice can't bless things." The woman said piercing her light green eyes into Michael's soul.
"True, thank you for choosing my store then. Now, what can I get for you?" Michael agreed.
"I'd like you to make a full suit of armor. I have an associate that is in danger." She said eyeballing the metal around the store.
"Well I have armor and weapons available but if you want that much forged at once I'll need the payment up front." Michael pointed out. From under the cloak, her hand appeared holding a large bag of gold that would easily be enough to forge at least three full armor sets. It was only visible for a moment but it appeared that she was wearing her own armor underneath the cloak. It was the same white with red detailing as the cloak but seemed to have white feathers decorating it as well.
"That's too much." Michael choked trying his best to fight his inner businessman.
"No. My associate wants you to put your heart and all your talent into it. She wants this to be the best work you've ever done." She said before digging into the bag and revealing a large red crystal. "She wants you to throw this into the forge while you make the metal."
"Why would I put this in the forge?" Michael asked taking the crystal to look it over. It was cut in a rod shape pointed at both sides.
"Those customers before me wanted magic without the proper tools. This will give it magic." She said plainly.
"So this is magic?" Michael asked remembering that beauty usually comes with a heavy dose of insanity.
"That's what my associate said. Either way, I'm sure it'll make for good decoration if nothing else."
"Okay." Michael agreed for the sake of customer service. "What's your name?" He continued reaching for his notepad and a quill.
"My name?" She squeaked out with little or no confidence. The change was probably the strangest thing he'd seen all day. She exhaled strength and power from the moment she walked in and now she was nervous?
"Serra." She continued blushing harshly.
"And when will your associate be in to be fitted?" Michael continued trying not to draw attention to her nervousness.
"It's the same body type as yours. Fit it to yourself." She choked out turning and leaving as fast she could. At the slam of the door, a feather fell from her cloak floating to the ground. Michael left the counter to retrieve it for when she returned. He picked up the pure white feather and realized that it was about the same size as his arm.
"Weird girl." Michael muttered before returning to his counter.