Prefix lesson plans 1st grade \

Hey guys to make it quick I’m a HS senior and I was accepted to a Penn State commonwealth campus (Behrend). It’s a good campus for business and I can participate in the 2+2 program. My career aspirations are high finance in NYC. Not only IB but sales/trading, risk management, PE, HF…
I’m here to ask what you guys think about a gap year and in my situation. I’ve been thinking about taking a gap and applying to schools like Rutgers, Baruch, SMU… where it’s overall a better school and they have more opportunities like rutgers quantitative economics or the ability to double major in finance and stats.
I ended last year with around a 3.5 gpa and my grades are trending upwards for the most part (British Lit killing me 😛) and a little above an 1100 SAT. No ECs outside of FBLA this year placing 1st in states.
During the gap year I plan on starting as a universal float at a bank nearby (teller atp). I also plan on pursuing trading futures and learning more about algorithmic trading but idk if this contributes to anything unless I start a million dollar prop shop and put it on my resume 🙈.
So do you guys think I should take a gap year? Are these realistic schools? What schools would I get accepted to that would give me better opportunites?

(Heads up, this is a long one as the background is a lot.)
I (22 F) was invited to my friend's baby shower. For fear and to protect myself due to past trauma, let's name her H. H was my friend since middle school. In high school, she dated G and now they are married and are expecting a baby.
Here's some background info. Before H and G started dating, H, our friends, and I found G and his group of friends annoying. All through high school, G and his group kept making fun of me and annoying me just because they had tried to set me up with one of G's friends, who I kept rejecting. (As a 1st gen, my family had me involved in school and I did after-school activities so I could get into good colleges in the future. I focused on school, and I didn't have much time for friends, much less for a guy. I also didn't want a relationship due to a past event.) Well, even after G's friend took the hit, his group wouldn’t leave me alone. My family is fairly known, so everyone knew where we lived. G's group would annoy me at school, which included classes we might’ve had in common, being in the same building, finding me before or after school, and would even drive by my home yelling "That's my girlfriend" at the top of their lungs. H was part of my friend group and she agreed that the guys were being childish and our friend group basically called it harassment. Many times, G's group actually got me in trouble with my parents. My parents would believe them if the group yelled outside the house. The group also called me out on social media once and when I stood up for myself, my family told me to delete what I had commented as they didn't want their perfect girl to be involved in drama. (In my opinion, I don’t think my parents wanted their friends to see the colorful language I used.)
Sometime later, H tells our group that she started dating G. They had ups and downs in the relationship. G cheated, he wasn't winning over H's family and wouldn't put her first in some situations. While they were dating, G and his group kept messing with me. When a friend and I planned lunches with H, the plans would automatically involve G last minute, to which my friend and I decided to stay on campus rather than to go with the "happy couple." My friends and I were convinced we would lose H eventually, which little by little, we did. She tried to convince us that G was changing and was trying to change to win over her parents. According to H, G even started staying after school to talk to teachers to get his grades up. None of us actually believed it as the teasing still continued.
Well, since graduation, I haven't spoken to H, or even texted. You know how it is, you go to college, friends grow distant, and because of assignments, there's rarely any time to hang out with anyone. Before H was married, my family and I would invite her to parties. Now this is where this rule might be an A-Hole move. A rule my family follows is that if you’re invited to an event, but don't show up, you are no longer invited to any other events. I always hated this rule because sometimes things happen. The thing is, with H, she always confirms she'll show up, but never does. I didn't invite her anymore after she didn't show up to any event in 2 years as I began to think I lost a friend as with many others. Well, my mother has actually continued to invite H, even after she was married. H continues with the same routine, confirms but doesn't show. I've told the friends I've made through work and college that I fear that one day H might actually show up to an event with her husband and that the same thing as high school might happen again. My friends tell me that since they actually show up, if anything happens, they'll be there to support me as they know I've changed and see I've become more of a bad b. They say that I shouldn't worry because I'm no longer that shy girl, and that I'm no longer defenseless. My friends have also accompanied me on my healing journey as they know I’ve been going to counseling to get over all this trauma as well as other past events.
Now, for the invite. I'll be honest, I didn't know H was married until she changed her status on social media. Yes, we still follow each other. I didn't think she would’ve ended up with G after everything that happened in their relationship. Months later, maternity pictures were on her page. Sometime later, I got an invite to the baby shower. Now, I know baby shower rules run differently. In Hispanic families, 99% of the time, men are welcome to celebrate as well and it’s not women only. With this, I discussed with my family that I don't want to go because H will have her husband there and G still has his group of friends from what other friends have told me. My mother and sister called me selfish for not going to the party and still living in the past. I told them I understood their point of view, but I told them I didn't want to go to a party where I'd feel uncomfortable. My sister started saying that I was H's friend and that I should be there for her. I then asked her that question about H, stating "Okay then when has she been here for me? She hasn't been to a party or gathering in years when this is the first time she invites me." My sister became silent and went to her room. Later that night, my mom and sister tried to talk to me again. I said no. I told them they could go without me. To make things worse, my family still paints me as the villain. They know I went to counseling, but stopped due to school and work hours. They knew I was basically bullied and harassed at school, and with college and work, I’m also sleep deprived and my health has become a difficult situation in these last few years. My family told me to go as I would want H to show up for me. But here's the thing, she hasn't shown up for me at all. Any question my family tried to throw at me, I threw it back as if they were asking H about me. (Let’s say dinner was silent that night.)
I spoke to my friends and told them everything that had been going on. They agreed that I shouldn't go as they know I'm not ready to see H or G. They told me that if I was going to be uncomfortable, I shouldn't go. Since they knew about my mental journey, they reminded me that my counselor told me to take things slowly. They said that if I decide to go, to contact our group, and that some of them will accompany me to the baby shower to make sure I stay safe. I thanked them for that and I told them I would update them if anything happened. I asked my grandmother as I wanted the point of view of someone with more life experience. Even she told me not to go and let my mother and sister go alone. She told me that if I'm uncomfortable, she sees no point in siding with her daughter (my mom) when she'd rather protect me, her granddaughter. I did tell her my friends’ plan. She liked it. My grandmother also knows that because of this situation, my blood pressure might get high again. She told me that if I go with my friends, to take my medication and to tell my friends where I’ll have it in case things go wrong, as she fears I might get a panic attack (I’ve only had one) and she trusts my friends as she’s met them (before my parents). (I don’t take my medication every day as it makes me sleepy, tired, or dizzy. I also don’t take it if there’s a party so I can drink alcohol if I choose to.)
I know that some might think I'm punishing my friend for something she technically had no control over as people marry who they want and she wasn’t part of the bullying, but I don't want to be at the baby shower and risk getting made fun off again by her husband and his friends. I also find baby showers boring. Some might think that I’m holding on to a grudge, but this harassment causes fear as I had also been through worse bullying experiences when I was a child. (I was bullied from 5th grade for being small, all through middle school for being small, people thinking I had money (when I didn’t), having a rolling backpack due to back problems, and then harassed by G’s group in high school.) I don’t know what to do as my mother and sister are still pressuring me. My friends have considered taking me out on the day of the baby shower. They know my family wants me to go out with friends more, so my friends plan on telling my family that it’s a “graduation celebration” before the actual graduation party scheduled a week later since some “won’t make it” ha ha. My friends are truly amazing! I am willing to accept judgment, but I need insight. AITA for not going to the baby shower?
PS: Will probably give an update after the baby shower date. I don’t use my computer much since it’s partially broken.

Ever since I was 12yrs old in the 6th grade, I’ve been very insecure about how I walked and it’s gotten worse over the years. I’m now 24 still beating myself up emotionally. In the beginning I would think things like “Am I an idiot?, What am I doing Wrong?” Surprisingly, I even went the empathetic route at one point and thought “I probably look goofy as hell to others.” And to the people who didn’t laugh I thought “When they asked their friends (Why do I walk like that?) it’s probably out of concern.”
During High School, I even opened up to my parents and a few friends about it for help. My dad told me to “walk with more confidence.” Which made me look even weirder to random students in the hallways. When I complained to my friends about it one of them basically said “You came into the chat like your life is sooooo hard lol.” Which definitely pissed me off, so I stopped texting. 2 of my closest friends at the time also shared that they walked weird which was funny cause I never noticed till they said it. Even with us being similar I still felt alone because they were so nonchalant and chill about it while on the inside I was suffering (idk if it was the same for them). I almost forgot to mention that their were a lot of times that one of my friends and some people in our neighborhood would laugh at and make fun of my walk from time to time (which would be especially humiliating in front of girls). I don’t hate my old friend, because to his credit he did ask me genuinely why I walked the way I did when we were by ourselves, but I was too ashamed to ask him how I looked from his perspective. From the few times I did ask friends they said my arms were stiff, my walk was slow and I dragged my feet a lot.
After High School, a few years passed and I’ve had a few jobs where people would talk about me and I’d act like I couldn’t hear them.
In present day it’s gotten so bad that sometimes my brain hears distant chatter from tv and somehow makes it sound like someone said “Why do you walk like that?” I don’t even want to go anywhere most of the time because the low to mid level anxiety eats away at me to the point where I stiffen up and I take more shallow breathes. Today when I went to check the mail and take out the trash I heard a neighbor (who I previously heard talking about me) laugh loud asf as soon as he saw me walking. There have also been family members in the past few years that would laugh at my walk when thought I wasn’t paying attention. A few days ago it happened when seeing my cousins.
My “plan of attack” for my problem up till now was:

1. Correcting my walk myself
   
2. DoN’t CaRe WhAt OtHeRs ThInK
   
3. Try to see through my commenters points of view
   
   1. Watch YouTubers like Todd Martin M.D. to help with walking techniques.
   2. Meditate
   3. Seeking help from Chiropractor (progress: 1st adjustment completed).

I’m still kinda doing number 7 which is anger, hatred, bitterness, etc. from 1-5 not getting rid of my emotions towards my walk. Meditation is a little effective (and I do mean little) but I still feel like a clown and a complete idiot whenever I go somewhere. The hate I have is towards how weak I think I am for having this insecurity, how I let people get in my head this much, people who made fun of me for a quick laugh multiple times, and human nature itself.
This last part is definitely unhealthy but the way my brain sees this is: “Damned if I do try to change my walk by myself, damned if I don’t. Pretending I don’t hate people doesn’t help at all. Whether I vent to friends and family or not at the end of the day they can’t help me. I feel like 90% of the population are assholes so expect the worse out of people you encounter and let them show you their true nature. Even if the chiropractors fix your gait issues you’ll probably still be hearing insult in your head. Whether you be positive, neutral or hate your walking problems won’t lessen so you might as well be candid about having a “fuck you” attitude to big mouthed douchebags. Wishing the worst on people is a cowardly action and forgiveness “not for them, but for you” for repeated offenders is BULLSHIT!
Finally, if you have any advice that can help me cope with this negative mindset I’d appreciate it!

I'm a first year student and for me i lost my spark, i have no idea if ako ba ang may problema o ang school system.Ako lang ang nakakafeel nito kasi ako lang angmag tatransfer and other ay mag stay nalang o kaya may mas better pa sakin na place na pwede ako maging belong. Ang hirap lang makipag friends sa mga tao sa college kasi di mo alam na baka sila yung maging dahilan ng motivation mo or maging dahilan para mag ka fail ang grade .But i notice na people around me inside my school is lazy asf kaya i avoid them to secured my sanity and my health as well but ended up nadamay at nasira ako , nakakatamad lang na di sila pumapsok and you, pushing yourself to study pero wala e nadamay ka narin ng energy nila, napansin ko nalang na tinatamad ako at wala na sakin na late o absent ako basta ayaw ko lang pumasok kasi nakaka drain energy ng school and people around me Napunta ako sa school na kung saan mauubos ka, a catholic school not a univ, thats why im planning to transfer sa univ na talaga para bumalik ang spark ko kasi sila lahat nahihirapan at nag papapatatagan ng loob eh kasi sa school ko now puro hilahan pababa at pabagsakan nadamay akong matino base on my experience if hindi ka sa univ nag aaral mauubos ka siguro may iba na masaya sila sa school nila kahit hindi univ but me nasira ako at ang mental ko na hindi ako univ . Nakakainggit lang sa mga kaklase ko before na block section sila and sa univ sila nag aaral while me here nag sesettle sa kaunting student and bulok na college system,sa unti ba naman namin sa room burnout yung energy ng school kaya pala walang tumutuloy ng college dun na shs kasi pangit pala talaga and ako na nag try mag college don ay masasabi na pangit talaga as in pangit ang system. I lost my spark because of lazy student sa school na yun na batchmate kuno kami ( unlucky to have you guys).I'm still pushing my self na maging matatag sa situation ko rn kasi ako lang mag isa pero naawa na ako sa sarili ko , hindi ako ganito nong SHS, I'm a honor student and have no idea ano nangyayari sakin ngayon, dahil siguro sa alam nilang honor student ako sakin na sila umasa kasi "kaya mo yan diba, pagawa nalang te ha", "'di kaya nayan ni ano", " matalino si ano ,pagawa natin sa kanya " sakit lang isipin na may mga ganito palang tao sa college ?? miss na miss ko na shs classmates ko kasi sila nag bibigay sakin ng motivation na " kaya mo yan beh , seek kalang help if may difficulty kasa ginagawa mo ha" but broo pag dating sa college dahil sa hirap makisama it ended up " pagawa nalang natin kay ano kaya naman"( ipagawa sakin kaya ko naman daw) haha bro i just need a support system bat kayo ganyan , hirap pala talaga na ganon no ? parang pinupush mo nalang sarili mo para makapasa kayo kahit nauubos kana and for me this school traumatized me fr ngl, the fucking rotten system ng college department and burnout dahil sa kaunting student haha fcvk this school para lang kaming dinasour dun dahil sa paunti nang paunti ang student like nag eextinct na kami wtf lang diba , Sana maregain ulit yung strength ko pag nakalipat ako ng university and exciting to make new friends and find people na mag pupush sakin to gain motivation just like nong shs hindi yung hihila sakin pababa, i just learned my lesson sa life ko rn , na kapag uncomfortable ako sa place aalis nalang ako kasi mauubos ako pag nag stay ako, my school traumatized me because of student and system but thanks to this school kasi kahit nasira ako at naubos tinuruan niya ako na tumayo sa sarili kong paa at di umaasa sa iba , thats for that kasi dahil diyan na ready mo akong tumayo sa sarili kong paa for my new school . for this school i know nasa adjusting phase palang kayo at unti ang studnet because of pandemic , pero sana maayos na ang system niyo para wala ng student na victimized ng system niyo, much better talaga na umalis ako kasi may mas better place pa sakin and for those people na batchmate ko kuno , thanks for u guys dahil sa inyo nakaranas ako na mag karoon ng malalang pet peeve haha and for myself pls gain more strength aayosin mona kita para i-ready sa new environment mo and new system. For those student na nawala ang spark during college sana po mahanap na natin ulit yun kahit mahirap , laban lang :))))

** BOTH FRI 5/17 AND SAT 5/18 *\*
Motorcycle Safety Foundation Ride Day New Mexico Motorcycle Safety Program, 3401 Pan American Fwy Take Your First Ride: Ride a motorcycle in 30 min or less for free. MOTO Intro provides the motorcycle, helmet, gloves, and coaching. Free Riding Skills Test: Take the challenge of an advanced MSF course! SKILL Check participants, bring your motorcycle and gear! Please wear over-the-ankle footwear, long pants and long sleeves

• Fri: 2 - 4 PM Skills Check, 4 - 6 PM Moto Intro
• Sat: 2 - 4:30 PM Moto Intro, 4:30 - 6:30 PM Skills Check

Niños and Teeños: Flamenco para todos Carlisle Gymnasium (Elizabeth Waters Center for Dance), UNM, 301 Yale Blvd. NE National Institute of Flamenco presents Niños y Teeños Flamencos in FUTUROS FLAMENCOS. Come see the high-energy flamenco of the National Institute of Flamenco's Student Companies. Don't miss this special showcase by talented youth in our community! (tickets)

• Fri: 7 PM
• Sat: 4 PM

** Fri 5/17 *\*
Fri 4:30 PM Bike to Wherever Day Canteen Brewhouse, 2381 Aztec Rd. NE Learn about exciting bike routes in Albuquerque and grab some cool giveaways to kickstart your cycling adventures. Whether you’re a seasoned cyclist or just starting out, there’s something for EVERYONE at our pop-up table! We'll have Canteen will be volunteering at a table from 6:30-9am and then again at 4:30-6:30am. Receive $1 off your beer if you arrive on your bike
Fri 5 PM Pistachio Cream Ale Release Tractor Brewing, ALL locations We're bringing back this seasonal favorite for American Craft Beer Week! Inspired by pistachios produced right here in New Mexico this brew is as smooth as silk and as tasty and a fresh roasted pistachio. This is a very limited one off for us, so come and get you a pint or growler while supplies last
Fri 5 – 7 PM May Babies Birthday Celebration Rio Bravo Brewing, 1912 2nd St. NW Starting at 5pm, the first 25 people with May birthdays to show Ryan proof of their birthday month will score a $5 Rio Bravo Brewing Gift Card...oh, and Beers are on special for birthday kids for just $5! But you spend your gift card however you want! Thanks to Cake Fetish...we'll have cupcakes for the May Birthday Kids (while supplies last) We'll have prizes JUST for the May Babies! We'll also have drawings for all you non-birthday folks too If you want to get their before us...All drinks are $1 Off for May Birthdays the whole day!
Fri 5:45 – 7:15 PM 22 Veterans Suicide Awareness WOD BFit505, 11500 Menaul Blvd. NE Each month, Team Bravo & Bfit505 team up to bring awareness to veteran suicide. Before our events, we will take a moment and talk about the issue. Then we will begin with our 22 reps WOD followed by a 2.2 mile ruck/walk/run. Afterwards, we will be going out to eat for social time with friends and family. This event is for all levels
Fri 6 PM Sandia Social - May Hangout Dawn Patrol Coffee Shop, 3619 Copper Ave NE We will be hanging out around the patio and inside starting at 6pm! Bring your friends and come hang out!
Fri 6 PM Pink Therapy, A Latin Dance Fundraiser for Breast Cancer Sobremesa, 3421 Coors Blvd. NW On The One and Pachanga Productions' "Salsa Therapy" night has made its mark in the Latin Dance community, now we are using the symbolism of "Therapy" under "Pink Therapy" but this time it is to fundraise in partnership with the Pink Warrior House Foundation in order to provide outreach and increase resources for those warriors battling against breast cancer. On The One and Pachanga productions will be involved in community outreach and utilizing our resources to help those in need. Cover charge is a SUGGESTED $20 donation (ALL PROCEEDS GO TO Pink Warrior House Foundation). Cocktail hour from 6-7 PM (purchases go to PWH on selected drinks). Dance lesson from 7-8 PM. Open dance floor 8-12 AM. Be aware of Media/News coverage. We need everyone's assistance with this, PLEASE SHARE FAR AND WIDE, those warriors battling breast cancer need our help. Let's do our part. We are asking for the entire Latin dance community to come out and support. This will be one of many fundraisers that we do for organizations like PWH. Lets use our dance skills to help those in need!
Fri 6 – 8 PM May Flowers Stampin' Bingo (in person) Hip Stitch, 2320 Wisconsin St. NE Cost is $35 for 6 rounds of bingo, prizes, and make n' takes! Message for more info or to register
Fri 6 – 8:30 PM Los Domingueros Live El Vado, 2500 Central Ave SW Prepare for an unforgettable fusion of Latin dance beats and rock energy as Friday Night Live at El Vado proudly presents New Mexico's premier menudo-based band, Los Domingueros! Few bands can match the infectious joy and vibrant rhythms that they bring to the stage. A multi-talented group of musicians, they take listeners on a musical journey like no other. From the pulsating rhythms of salsa, bachata, and cumbia to the high-energy vibes of ska and reggae, sprinkled with a dash of punk and thrash, their eclectic repertoire promises an exhilarating experience for all. As always, treat your taste buds to a delightful selection of culinary delights from our diverse food pods. From savory stir-fries to tantalizing Latin flavors and heavenly desserts, there's something to satisfy every craving. And don't overlook the opportunity to quench your thirst with a crisp craft beer from Ponderosa Brewing Company, conveniently available at the El Vado Tap Room
Fri 6 – 10 PM Fork Cancer Gala FUSION ABQ, 700-708 1st St. NW The American Cancer Society is hosting Albuquerque's second #ForkCancerAbq fundraising event. VIP 6pm - 7pm. Gala 7pm - 10pm. Dress Code: Gala Attire. #ForkCancerNM is a foodie's dream, with local restaurants and bars bringing out their best to truly showcase the Taste of Albuquerque while raising money for the American Cancer Society's life-saving mission in New Mexico supporting Access to Care like patient transportation, patient lodging and 24/7 support. Along with life saving research and grants. With great opportunities to raise money, we will also have live entertainment! (tickets)
Fri 6:30 – 10 PM Community Movie Night South Valley Multipurpose Center, 2008 Larrazolo Rd. SW Feature of the night: In The Heights. Bring your dinner, blankets and chairs. Please no glass containers
Fri 7 PM Movie In The Park ABQ Food Park, 6901-B San Antonio Dr. NE ABQ Food Park is bringing back Movies In The Park, starting off the summer with a screening of The Sandlot. Arrive early to get your face painted by Local Locas Facepainting before settling in with your blankets, chairs, and appetite for a delightful evening at the park with loved ones. Indulge in delicious fare from our food trucks while enjoying this timeless film under the stars. Please do not bring outside food as we have a variety of food options at the park. Please support our local food vendors. Entry is free! Reserve your tickets
Fri 7 – 10 PM Emerald Ball Holiday Dance Studio, 5200 Eubank Blvd. NE, Ste D Celebrate the enchanting month of May by donning your finest emerald attire. Bring in the vibrant spring season by joining us in elegant semi-formal wear of rich verdant colors and dance the night away! A Foxtrot lesson will begin the evening at 7pm followed by open dancing. Call 505-508-4020 for more information. $30 non-members
Fri 8 PM – 2 AM Sucia EDC Gogo Takeover Sidewinders Bar and Grill, 4200 Central Ave SE Sucia Productions is bringing the Electric Sky to Sidewinders! No need to have EDC FOMO because Papa Sucia is ready to bring the party to you! Come join your Sucia Family for a Night of PLUR! Featuring the Sucia Gogos on multiple boxes and individual dances available in the Cabaret Room! Hosted by Papa Sucia and Sucia Gogo Madam Sativa Rico-Stratton. DJ Unzipped will be bringing the you the best EDM set for you to dance the night away!
Fri 9 PM – 1:30 AM Callaita Fridays Salt Yard West, 3700 Ellison Rd. NW DJ Soiree will be spinning under the stars in the Salt Yard, promising a night of electrifying Latin music. This 21+ event guarantees an atmosphere where you can fully embrace the rhythm without inhibition. Whether you're a die-hard fan of Reggaeton or simply seeking a night of unparalleled fun, "Callaita Fridays" is the place to be
Fri 10:30 PM – 12:15 AM FACELESS AFTER DARK - new meta horror starring Jenna Kanell of "Terrifier"! The Guild Cinema, 3405 Central Ave NE All Seats $8. Check out the trailer. Dir. Raymond Wood - 2023 - 82m. Following her breakout success as the star of a killer clown horror flick, Bowie (Jenna Kanell, TERRIFIER) now finds herself struggling to capitalize on its success. But when she is suddenly held hostage by an unhinged fan posing as that same killer clown, horror becomes her reality as she fights to survive the night and escape before he completes his sinister plan to recreate the film's fatal plot (tickets)
** Sat 5/18 *\*
Sat 8 – 10 AM Planting Corn Seeds Lynn Garden, 176 Manierre Rd., Corrales We will be planting corn seeds; a new crop for Seed2Need this year!
Sat 8 – 10 AM Run for Mercy 5K Sagebrush Community Church, 6440 Coors Blvd. NW Join our team to run with us to support Mercy Multiplied, which exists to provide opportunities for all to experience God's unconditional love, forgiveness, and life-transforming power. Mercy offers free-of-charge Residential and Outpatient Counseling Programs, as well as Outreach Services that include workshops and trainings, our Keys to Freedom discipleship study, and Keys to Freedom Retreat (register)
Sat 8 AM – 12 PM Downtown Growers' Market Robinson Park, 810 Copper Ave NW Every Saturday from 8 am - NOON! This vibrant community event connects local farmers, growers, artisans, wellness makers, and hot food vendors with the local community from mid-April to early-November. Bring friends / family or come solo to enjoy fresh food made on sight, a variety of seasonal produce, unique arts and crafts, live music, and special programming all in the heart of downtown
Sat 8 AM – 2 PM Rio Rancho's Biggest Yard Sale Cabezon Park and Community Center, 2307 Cabezon Blvd. SE, Rio Rancho FREE Admission! Clean out your garage, spare bedroom, attic and shed. Come join us to sell all of those items that were collecting dust, find a treasure that you didn’t know you needed, and enjoy a day in the park! Vendor space $35 for a 15’ x 15’ space (Tables and chairs are not provided) Must register online, NO Drop-Ins Accepted. Please call the Cabezon Community Center at 505-892-4499 for more info
Sat 9 AM Send Haley to Spain Sand Volleyball Tournament Charlie’s Sandbox, 4335 Paseo del Norte NE All proceeds go to Haley and her trip to Spain in July! $20/per player. All Skill levels! Prizes for 1st & 2nd place. 4-6 players Coed with 1 female on team. Check in @ 8:30am. More info: Jillian (505) 322-7228, Haley (505) 331-4788, Charlie (505) 239-2461
Sat 9 AM Invisible Heroes Run Believers Center of Albuquerque, 320 Waterfall Dr. SE Join Runfit and the American Society of Radiologic Technologists for the inaugural Invisible Heroes 5K Run/Walk. It is a community event being held to recognize the vital role that medical imaging professionals and radiation therapists play on the health care team and to introduce the public to these vital health care professionals. You are invited to run and walk to celebrate the important work done by invisible heroes. At packet pick-up, you will have an opportunity to tour the ASRT Museum and Archives. Age group, overall, and team awards, including a great t-shirt and finisher medals for all participants (register)
Sat 9 AM - 4 PM 16th Annual CTC Vintage Tractor & Car Show Corrales Recreation Center, 500 Jones Rd., Corrales Join us for a fun day in the Corrales Park. There will be music, food, hot rods, tractor, stationary engines and more. Proceeds Raised will benefit Corrales 4H and Historical Society. Free admission. $10 for show participants
Sat 10 AM – 12 PM Foraging for Fun(ds) Los Poblanos Open Space, 1800 Tierra Viva Pl. NW Join Rev. Ryan Tate on a foraging excursion! Rev. Tate, of the African American spiritual tradition and an IPL board member, wants to bring their loving knowledge of NM edibles and herbs to you. Discover the food right under your nose and how easy it is to enjoy! We’ll meet to explore and harvest native and edible plants. Enter the Open Space area from west bound Montano Boulevard. After foraging, we’ll gather to taste our harvest and other locally sourced treats. Sign up today to participate - space is limited. This is a fundraiser for our work for climate justice: Please give generously (Suggested minimum donation $10)
Sat 10 AM – 3 PM Homebrewer's Happy Hour Southwest Grape & Grain, 3401 Candelaria Blvd. NE Homebrewer's Happy Hour is the perfect chance for all homebrewers, wine makers, distillers, or anyone interested in learning, to connect with others, share a drink, and learn about a new subject each month! $1 off beers from 10am to 3pm. Presentation on monthly subject at 1pm with open forum to discuss after. Food truck on site for lunch! May 18th - Barley
Sat 10:30 – 11:30 AM Animal Tales with the ABQ BioPark Ernie Pyle Library, 900 Girard Blvd. SE Dive into the captivating world of animals with "Animal Tales" presented by the ABQ BioPark! Join us for a delightful reading session featuring an animal-themed book. Experience the magic as the BioPark brings along real animals and biofacts that connect to the story, giving kids an exciting opportunity to meet these creatures up close! Don't miss this engaging and educational adventure for young animal enthusiasts!
Sat 10:30 AM – 12:30 PM FolkMADS Third Saturday Family Dance Albuquerque Square Dance Center, 4915 Hawkins St. NE Dancing, song, and live music for kids of all ages. No experience needed to have fun! Children must be accompanied by an adult. Children dance free, Adults $10
Sat 11 AM – 1 PM Annual Summer Kick-Off Event! Matheson Park Elementary, 10809 Lexington Ave NE Join us as we kick off the summer with fun, a food truck, face painting, dunk tank, and more! Bring your family and your pets for a Blessing of the Pets. There is no cost to attend and all are welcome!
Sat 11 AM – 3 PM Wine + Art Afternoons Gruet Winery, 8400 Pan American East Fwy NE Prism Arts presents a new public art and social series with a special one-day multi-artist event. Join us inside the Gruet Winery with a selection of fine art, prints, paintings, jewelry, and ceramics from local artists Vanessa Alvarado, Eric Romero, Margarita Paz-Pedro, & Aaron Richardson. Enjoy unique art, amazing fine, food, and a social environment with the artists and the public. *All art purchases receive a complimentary bottle of Gruet Wine*
Sat 11 AM – 3 PM Bernalillo Family Fun Festival! Calvary Church, 4001 Osuna Rd. NE Get connected to community and enjoy a Fun Family Day!
Sat 11:30 AM – 4 PM Imaginary Friends Fest Flix Brewhouse, 3200 La Orilla Rd. NW Let your imagination run wild! Join us in the lobby to celebrate the opening of IF! Enjoy photo ops, freebies, an in-theater giveaway, and activities for the whole family. All ages are welcome!
Sat 12 PM BBQ n' Crawl Supper Rock Park, 598 Monte Alto Pl. NE Mini Crawlers 505 and Duke City RC are throwing a BBQ and crawl sesh! All rigs welcome! Please mark going if you are, so we can get enough food!
Sat 12 PM May Brew Tour - Farewell Tour Rio Bravo Brewing, 1912 2nd St. NW This is the last NM Brew Ha-Ha Beer tour for the season. The 24-25 season will start in June 2025 so stay tuned for the season lineup release. Rio Bravo Brewing, Ponderosa Brewing, Bow & Arrow Brewing, Juno Brewery. At Rio Bravo, a DD will be selected, then we’ll head to the other breweries in the order listed. T-shirts, if ordered will be delivered. For safety, a breathalyzer is available, a DD will be established and a liability waiver will be signed by all participants. Safety is of utmost importance. We want everyone to enjoy their tour and arrive home safely
Sat 12 PM Drag Bingo & Brunch! All Ages Welcome! Sidewinders Bar and Grill, 4200 Central Ave SE Join us for a Drag Queen Bingo and Brunch benefitting The Albuquerque Roadrunner Tournament 2024 (coming up in September). Hosted by Priscilla Bouvier. Doors 12pm. Show 1pm. Bingo, Prizes, Giveaways, Raffles, Cocktails, Mocktails and Fun!
Sat 12 PM Empire's 9th Anniversary - FREE PLAY ALL DAY Empire Board Game Library, 3503 Central Ave NE It's Empire's 9th Anniversary celebration and you're invited! We've been here 9 years and it's all thanks to the support we get from you, so to show our appreciation, this Saturday's celebration is our gift to you: Come in and play for free all day! Every game is on sale all weekend! We're holding raffles over the course of the day to give away some great games! So come on down and let us thank you!
Sat 12 – 3 PM STOODIS!: An AIDS/LifeCycle Fundraising Event Soo Bak Seoul Bowl, 111 Hermosa Dr. SE Help Vanessa Bowen cross the finish line – the fundraising finish line, that is! Vanessa is on a mission to raise $3,500 to participate in the 2024 AIDS/LifeCycle, a 545-mile charity bike ride from San Francisco to Los Angeles from June 2nd to 8th, 2024. Join this special fundraising event and send-off party for an afternoon of entertainment, vendors, bike tune-ups, raffle, and food and drink specials. Come prepared to support our local vendors and find out how you can win our selected giveaways. AIDS/LifeCycle benefits, and is jointly produced by, San Francisco AIDS Foundation (Tax ID # 94-2927405) and Los Angeles LGBT Center (Tax ID # 95-3567895), each of which is a nonprofit, public benefit corporation recognized as tax exempt under IRS Code Section 501(c)(3). Donations to AIDS/LifeCycle are deductible for income tax purposes, to the extent permitted by law. Vanessa Bowen (They/Them) is a Diné (Navajo) product designer and cyclist. Their work gravitates toward the intersection of design and social equity. Bowen is a former Outride Ambassador, current Chamois Butt’r and Kuat Racks Ambassador, founder of Get Native Kids on Bikes, and a supporter of AIDS/LifeCycle. If not creating in their studio in Albuquerque, they are training for a cycling event or community building for a just, equitable future (more info)
Sat 12 – 5 PM Day Camp - A Festival for Families Tin Can Alley, 6013 Signal Ave NE Day Camp is where adventure meets education, creativity, and community in a fair-like environment where a variety of youth development organizations are excited to share their programs. In partnership with Warehouse 505, and featuring organizations such as Explora, there will be workshops ands expos for kids to discover new passions across music, art, science, and more. Supporting Youth Security & Education, all dedicated funds raised will be going to New Mexico non-profit organizations
Sat 12 – 5 PM Monthly Pinball Tournament Sister, 407 Central Ave NW All skill levels and players welcome! 21+ Sign up starts at 12 pm; tournament play starts at 1 p.m. Entry fee is $5 + coin drop
Sat 1 – 5 PM United in Beer Collaboration Festival Ex Novo Brewing, 4895 Corrales Rd., Corrales United in Beer is a New Mexico statewide collaborative beer festival that benefits the Somos Unidos Foundation with 26 participating breweries, which were randomly partnered through a live draft and then together selected the beer style they would collaborate on. All beers will be showcased at the festival. Tickets are limited. Portions of ticket sales will donated to Somos Unidos Foundation, a 501(c)(3) dedicated to creating positive outcomes for New Mexicans through art, sport, community, and unity. This will be a 21+ Event. Food trucks will be on site. Included with ticket purchase is: Festival access, 8 drink tokens, and a United In Beer glass! We recommend bringing: Sunscreen, your friends, and good vibes
Sat 1 – 10 PM Boots In The Park Presents Thomas Rhett, Chris Young & Friends! Balloon Fiesta Park, 5000 Balloon Fiesta Pkwy Dust off your boots and get ready to holler, because Boots In The Park is making it's way to Albuquerque, y'all! Join us for a rootin', tootin', two-steppin' good time with none other than Thomas Rhett, Chris Young, Chris Janson, Kameron Marlowe, Dylan Schneider, Leaving Austin and beats by Luwiss Lux. We're talking about an evening filled to the brim with live tunes, finger-lickin' craft food, and the smoothest cocktails. We'll be kicking up dust with some good ol' line dancing and a whole heap more, as Balloon Fiesta Park is transformed into Albuquerque's best country music party! Past folks to grace the Boots In The Park stage are Carrie Underwood, Blake Shelton, Tim McGraw, Cody Johnson, Jon Pardi and a bunch of other country legends. But this day is gonna be one for the record books, a show that will leave y'all talking for years to come (tickets)
Sat 2 PM Annual Castro Concerto Competition Albuquerque Youth Symphony, 4407 Menaul Blvd. NE Join us to hear talented high school juniors compete for the privilege of performing with the Youth Symphony during the Albuquerque Youth Symphony Program's 2024-2025 concert season! This event is free and open to the public. We also plan to stream this event live on Facebook for anyone not able to attend in person
Sat 2 PM "Greatest Moments" - a fundraising concert for Opera On Tap New Mexico Central United Methodist Church, 201 University Blvd. NE Join us for an afternoon of music to help raise money for Opera on Tap - New Mexico! Featuring some faculty and students of University of New Mexico, along with other local professionals, we have put a program together highlighting some of the show-stopping, beautiful moments of opera and musical theater! Suggested donation $10
Sat 2 – 7 PM Rawking: An Afternoon Metal + Art + Comedy Extravaganza Juno, 1501 1st St. NW Featured performers include Light Thief, Destroy to Recreate, Guvtika, Abandoned Saviors. outdoors on the patio with Four Bands, Comedians, Artists, Vendors. Produced by Metal World Radio. 21+. $10 at the door or presales online
Sat 3 – 8 PM Albuquerque Roller Derby presents: Sandia Slammers vs. Bosque Bruisers! Expo New Mexico - Manuel Lujan Jr Exhibit Complex, 300 San Pedro Dr. NE Albuquerque Roller Derby has gotten SO big we’ve split into two teams! Sandia Slammers & Bosque Bruisers! Get your tickets for our first Home Game of the 2024 season
Sat 3:45 – 5:45 PM AND 7 - 9 PM The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 1 Flix Brewhouse, 3236 La Orilla Rd. NW Experience the Twilight saga's epic romance and thrilling fantasy BREAKING DAWN - PART 1 on the big screen! Bella and Edward, plus those they love, must deal with the chain of consequences brought on by a marriage, honeymoon, and the tumultuous birth of a child, which brings about unforeseen and shocking developments for Jacob Black (tickets)
Sat 4 – 8 PM Drink Local Downtown ABQ - May Step into the heart of Albuquerque with our thrilling, free monthly bar crawl event! Immerse yourself in the local charm as we celebrate community, culture, and creativity right in the heart of ABQ. In partnership with ABQCore Neighborhood Association, a locally organized and hosted event, we're bringing you a bar crawl experience like no other. This isn't just a crawl; it's a vibrant celebration of local businesses, a showcase of community talent, and a monthly escape into the unique flavors that make ABQ special
Sat 4 – 9 PM Summer Market ABQ Food Park, 6951 San Antonio Dr. NE Dive into the magic of summer evenings at ABQ Food Park with our captivating Summer Market! Join us for a delightful evening, where you can browse an enchanting array of offerings from local artisans and support our vibrant community businesses. Discover unique treasures crafted with love and passion by talented artisans, from handcrafted jewelry to exquisite home decor. Every purchase you make supports local creators and contributes to the thriving arts scene in our city
Sat 5 – 8 PM National Astronomy Day! Rainbow Park Observatory, 301 Southern Blvd SE, Rio Rancho The Rio Rancho Astronomical Society will host National Astronomy Day at Rainbow Park Observatory. There will be food for a donation, family activities and safe solar viewing. Dr. Tony Hull will appeal at 7 pm about his work on the James Webb Space Telescope. He will also have some info on light pollution
Sat 5 – 11 PM Beer & Jazz on the Hill Tractor Brewing, 122 Tulane Dr. SE We're bringing you a full night of brews and Jazz with the very talented Rona & Meli opening things up at 5pm and our house Jazz band Basilaris Trio closing things down at 8!
Sat 6 PM Bear Affair 4: Spanish Tapas Beer Pairing Dinner Boxing Bear Brewing, 8420 Firestone Ln. NE Join us on our patio for an ALMOST summer night paired with a variety of our seasonal beers, chef-crafted Spanish tapas, and flamenco. Featuring chef Christopher Midyette And the artist dance group Spanish Broom. Tickets are $65 per person and include a welcome beer, three course tapas style meal with beer pairings and entertainment for the evening
Sat 6 PM One Year Anniversary Celebration Urbanmama505 Kombucha, 1014 Central Ave SW, Ste A Celebrating one year of love, abundance, and sharing wellness. Right after Open Mic 4-6pm, we will be graced with a jazz concert by Davis Nelson-Hooker, an amazing local musician. Elixirs and small plates for purchase
Sat 6 – 9 PM Gone Country Saturdays with DJ Soiree Ponderosa Brewing, 1761 Bellamah Ave NW It's Gone Country Saturdays featuring the amazing DJ Soiree! Start your evening with free dance lessons at 5 pm, followed by family-friendly entertainment
Sat 7:30 – 9 PM Saturday Night Stand-Up Bosque Brewing Co - Nob Hill, 106 Girard Blvd. SE Live from ABQ, it’s… Saturday Night Stand-Up Hosted by Nax Davis! Every third Saturday of the month! Seating at 7:30 - Comedy at 8. Featured line-up of local comics includes: MEG FINN, BRYAN LAMBE, SARINA OCHOA, MARY BYRD, ROBERT EYSTER
Sat 8 PM – 1:15 AM Apparition Goth Night Historic El Rey Theater, 622 Central Ave SW A hauntingly dark, classic goth night featuring the Apparition team: DJ Ren, DJ Batboy, DJ Moonside. Doors at 8. $10 all night. 21+ Tickets at the door. Expect goth, darkwave, death rock, synthpop, dark post punk, ebm, dark dance, industrial, witch house, horror punk and more
Sat 8:30 PM – 1 AM SABOR Latin Night - SATURDAYS Bama's 1865, 6007 Osuna Rd. NE May 11th - SPECIAL GUEST DJ ITALIA! DJ Gabriel Goza & DJ Pedro will be serving you the saucy Salsa, Bachata, Cumbia, Merengue y Mas! Ample Parking, Safe Environment, Beautiful Venue, Good Food, Good Music, Good Vibes. 21+ / $10 cover
Sat 9 PM – 1 AM Cumbia + Rock en Espanol Juno, 1501 1st St. NW Grupo Super Verza with Ave. 69 and Lot Beat and DJ Tony. Baila! 21+, $15 at the door or online
** Sun 5/19 *\*
Sun 9 – 11 AM Elevated Roller Derby May Training Scrimmage Heights Community Center, 823 Buena Vista Dr. SE Officials' huddle 9:00AM. Captains' meeting at 9:20AM. First whistle 9:30AM. This is simply a black/white scrimmage. It will be used as an educational opportunity. NSO paperwork will be used as appropriate. You are encouraged to stretch your skills. Hospitality: This is a low/no production scrimmage, bring beverages and snacks for your own use. Bathrooms: The community center may not be open during the scrimmage. (That's the trade-off for a free space). You can stop at the nearby Starbucks before the event. Expectations: Skaters and Skating and Non-skating Officials are expected to follow all WFTDA Risk Management Guidelines. The venue is a designated alcohol, drug, and smoke-free space by the city of Albuquerque (sign up)
Sun 10 AM – 2 PM The Great Burque Bake On Rail Yards Market, 777 1st St. SW Get ready to whisk it all at the "Great Burque Bake-on," a special fundraiser for the non-profit Rail Yards Market: One dozen of Albuquerque's most talented bakers will dough head-to-head in a crusty competition for the ultimate bakery glory! Bakers brawl... You vote for the winners! This sugar-dusted showdown promises a blend of flour-fueled drama and buttery bravado, making it the yeast you can do to support your local confectionery champions. As these culinary wizards knead their way to the top, we guarantee you'll find their efforts both batter and sweeter than anything you've tasted before. Join us for a day of laughter, pastry, and a chance to see who rises as the crème de la crème of Burque's baking scene! 1) ORDER > Claim your Bake-on Box & exclusive market swag by ordering online May 10-16th, 2024. 2) LEARN > Follow our social media to learn about each contestant & their offering. 3) PICKUP > Grab your box of baked goodies & swag at the info booth Sunday May 19th. 4) ENJOY > Eat all the delectable goodies, savor the flavor, and read about all the contestants 5) VOTE >> Submit your votes online to choose the winners! (tickets) The Farmers' Market event is going down simultaneously with 175+ local vendors to explore, and is still FREE to enter and welcome to all. This funky fundraiser is going down during the FREE Rail Yards Farmers' Market. So you can peruse 150+ small businesses and enjoy the historic architecture while you enjoy your Great Burque Bake-on Box of goodies! All proceeds will benefit the Rail Yards Market. The Rail Yards market of Albuquerque is a certified 501(c)3 non-profit focused on building a resilient, sustainable, local economy where the surrounding historic communities thrive, all can participate, and everyone is enriched and inspired. Through food, art, education, and music, we invite the community together in an inclusive and festive atmosphere
Sun 11:30 AM The Addams Family Historic Lobo Theater, 3013 Central Ave NE THE HISTORIC LOBO THEATER is excited to bring The Addams Family to the big screen! Showing Starts at 11:30 am Tickets are ONLY $10 for General Admission $25 Brunch and a Movie Ticket $21 Brunch Only ticket
Sun 12:30 PM Annual Spring Tea Asbury UMC, 10000 Candelaria Rd. NE All are welcome to attend our Annual Spring Tea! This year's theme is "The Tapestries of Our Lives." Life can be like a tapestry; our quilt, with events, feelings, accomplishments, and even disappointments "stitched" in. Join us, for tea, while Cindy Kurey, AQS-certified quilted textiles appraiser, shares how quilting and her faith have helped her navigate life. She will also show her collection of antique, vintage, and modern quilts! There is no cost to attend, though RSVPs are required. Please call the church office 505-299-0643 or message us on Facebook to RSVP

I’m so lost and my mind is a jumble of thoughts and emotions and feelings. I lost my dog that I had since third grade (I just finished college) right before the new year started and I’m still healing from that but today I found out my grandma has stomach cancer and they can’t treat it or fix it and I just found out about this now. Like, I knew she had cancer and I went to go see her and they said it was cured and that she was cancer-free and I’m just confused how she has it again. I can’t see her because someone has to take care of my puppy and my little sister- who doesn’t even know about the situation and won’t know until they get on the place or after they land, whatever. I’m so lost, my head hurts, I can’t sleep or think or function and I’m so scared I’m going to lose her and I know it’s inevitable. I feel like this is going to turn my life upside down. I saw her last summer and she was fine- she was healthy and laughing and my head hurts and I’m trying not to cry because I’m at work but I’m just hoping getting this off my chest will help aide my emotions. My head and stomach hurt and I keep telling people I have allergies because my eyes are super watery and I’m trying not to cry and I’m sniffling. I’m leaving work now but I don’t know what to do and I’m interning and working with kids and I have a whole lesson planned out tomorrow and I don’t know how I’m going to do it. Someone please help me and tell me what to do- I don’t know what to do- someone please help me.

Basic context: I’m worried I’m not saving enough for the large future expenses. Am I doing okay, or do I need to focus on stashing away even more?
28yo, USA, DINK LTR unmarried but living together.
Income: 110k W2 annually, plus a variable amount of K1 income (I own a small business with 500-700k ARR). For the sake of safety & being conservative, I’m only including my income and excluding my SO’s.
Currently contributing the maximum to a Roth IRA annually on January 1st. Currently no 401k, but as the business owner I am considering starting a Roth 401k plan for all employees, which would allow me to contribute to that as well.
Saving rate: $5000/month, roughly 60k/yr. This might seem aggressive- please consider the projected expenses below.
Assets: -$15k in Roth IRA, 60/40 split between 60% ETF’s VOO,SPY,VUG as well as 40% LEAPS on SPY, AXP, V. -$6k in taxable brokerage - SPY/VUG -$5k in HYSA (aggressively saving to turn this into a 6-month emergency liquid fund) -$5k in literal cash -$15k worth of work vehicles (expenses deductible through company)
Expenses and projections: -Rent: $1000/mo (LCOL city) -Meals/discretionary spending: $1500/mo -Future aging parent with 0 retirement savings (I will be 100% responsible financially). I estimate 10 years before this expense starts up. Options include caring for the parent myself, or paying for an assisted living facility. -Huge personal medical expenses: two insurance policies costing $1650/mo totaled, as well as projected out-of-pocket medical expenses of $30k in the next 5 years due to unavoidable chronic conditions.
Buying a home or land in the next 5 years is a large goal of mine as well, provided the value fits into my budget. Currently my comfortable price range would be ~250k, but in a few years I anticipate that will grow once I have a larger nest egg. Additionally, my rent is too cheap to heavily consider moving.
Growing up dirt poor, I made consistently terrible financial decisions up until my early 20s- wasting money from a medical settlement, making money from bitcoin and wasting the proceeds, charging off credit card debt, etc. Thankfully, I’ve settled all collections and am now debt free.
The past decade has taught me lots of life lessons. Although I have matured to the point of “better than I used to be”, I’ve only begun saving aggressively in the past 2 years. I feel the strong urge to make up for lost time, and I’ve got a long way to go.
Any advice?

In astrology, Saturn often gets a bad rap, seen as the harbinger of challenges and limitations. However, this reputation overlooks Saturn's vital role as the great teacher of the zodiac, a planet that fosters discipline, responsibility, and long-term growth. Understanding Saturn's influence in relocated charts and astrocartography can be a powerful tool for personal development.
Relocated Chart and Saturn’s Influence
When you relocate, your chart shifts, bringing different facets of your life into focus. Saturn in your relocated chart can offer valuable insights into areas where you might face challenges, but also where you can build resilience and achieve long-term success. For instance:

• Saturn in the 2nd House: Highlights the need for disciplined financial planning.
• Saturn in the 3rd House: Encourages structured communication and serious learning.
• Saturn in the 7th House: Suggests a focus on forming enduring and responsible relationships.

Astrocartography and Saturn Lines
Astrocartography, which maps planetary lines across the globe based on your birth chart, allows you to explore how different locations might impact your life. Saturn lines, in particular, can be profoundly transformative:
Saturn IC Line – Emotional Foundations (4th House Themes):

• Living under a Saturn IC line can solidify your sense of home and emotional security. It's about taking responsibility for family matters and building a stable home life.

Saturn Ascendant Line – Personal Identity (1st House Themes):

• Along this line, Saturn can shape your personal identity and body with discipline, making it an excellent place for self-improvement and developing maturity.

Saturn Descendant Line – Partnerships (7th House Themes):

• This line can bring stability and seriousness to your personal and business relationships, emphasizing the need for mutual respect and long-term commitment.

Saturn MC Line – Career Growth (10th House Themes):

• A Saturn MC line can enhance your professional life, offering opportunities for career advancement through hard work and perseverance.

Saturn’s Misunderstood Role
Contrary to popular belief, Saturn is not a "bad" planet. Its energies are about maturation and wisdom. Saturn’s influence, though often demanding, teaches patience, responsibility, and the value of hard work. The challenges it brings are not punishments but opportunities for growth.
In both relocated charts and astrocartography, Saturn's influence can guide you towards significant personal development. It's about embracing the discipline and lessons Saturn offers, turning challenges into stepping stones for success. Understanding and working with Saturn, rather than fearing it, can open doors to lasting achievement and fulfillment.
So, if you're considering a move or simply exploring your astrological potential, give Saturn its due respect. It might just be the key to unlocking your most structured, disciplined, and successful self.

This is the first time I have written something of this length, and is more of an exercise in self-therapy than anything else. Disclaimer: This story contains conversations about child abuse. Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoy it.
Nathan’s number appeared on my phone screen. I debated whether or not to answer it. We hadn’t been on speaking terms for a while, and while we did keep in touch sporadically, it was usually because of important family issues. I didn’t know of anything happening with mom or dad, nor with Talia or Rio, so I let it go to voicemail. I could always call him back later. I placed the phone back in my pocket, and returned to cleaning my camera. The phone buzzed again. A text message came through. I read the preview line from the home screen. “The city declared eminent domain on the house” I unlocked my phone, read the full text message, and dialed my brother.
I wasn't able to get any closer to the house than a few blocks. Most of the area was blocked off with chain link fencing and construction equipment in preparation for the demolition that was supposed to take place within the coming days. The barriers didn’t prevent people from walking in to the neighborhood, but it hindered scrappers from coming in and stripping the houses of copper wiring and plumbing.
I grabbed my camera bag out of the trunk of my car along with my tripod. I shouldered it and hooked the tripod to my bag. I pulled my water bottle out of the center console and shut the door. I stood next to my car surveying the neighborhood. 12 city blocks of old single family homes comprised the neighborhood where I grew up. Some of the houses had been empty for months, others for years. There was an eerie silence that permeated the still air. I could not hear the familiar sounds of people, pets, or cars. I locked the car and put my keys in my pocket. I patted my jacket down to ensure I had what I needed. After a quick check, I started my walk.
The sidewalk of the old neighborhood streets still bore the familiar cracks and grind marks from years of buckling and remedy. Leaves dropped by the trees still lay scattered all along the pathways and sidewalk. Korina’s house was the first house I encountered as I made my way through a gap in the fence. The yard was overgrown with tall grass and thistle. I could see the faded blue paint of the old house contrasting the green and browns of the lawn. The chain link fence that marked off the corner property was nearly invisible through the thick brush. As I continued walking west towards 110th, I started to feel something was off. The streets seemed wider than I remembered. It took me longer than I’d like to admit, but eventually I realized what was different. There were no cars.
The streets here typically had cars lined bumper to bumper in any spot available, and were visible from block to block. The absence of all these vehicles made me realize just how deserted the neighborhood really was. House after house, yard after yard, the telltale signs of desertion reinforced what I could see from the moment I passed the construction fence: This was no longer my neighborhood. There were no signs of life, and no one I could expect to find still here. Abandonment was the new normal here. I continued on, glancing at houses and recalling memories of summer bike rides, and daily walks with dogs I used to have. I remembered walks home from school, and chasing after ice cream trucks when they passed our houses. I smiled a bit as I remembered more and more of my years spent here. I don’t quite know just why I was smiling. There were plenty of bad memories here too. Fights, yelling, being beat up, being robbed. I could remember failed friendships, lost loves, and bitter feelings of failures too.
Still, I felt a certain amount of nostalgia despite the weight of these negative feelings. I almost wanted to experience everything again, although I wasn't sure why I was feeling this way. Concrete, asphalt, billboards and liquor stores were the normal vistas of everyday life. Occasionally, after a good rainstorm, the grey haze of smog would lift, and the mountains would be visible to the north. At least, they would be visible until mid-morning when the exhaust from a million cars covered them behind a veil of pollution.
It wasn’t until the first time I travelled out of the city that I realized there was more to see. Traveling up the coast north along the Pacific Coast Highway introduced me to scenes of deep blue ocean water spanning the width of my vision. Driving up Highway 3 introduced me to the permeating scent of Pine and Fir trees. The two-lane stretch of highway from Portland to Tillamook introduced me to lush green forests that I had only ever read about. When I came home to the same old dirty, dusty concrete and boiling summer asphalt, I had made up my mind. I would do everything it took to leave this place. I would not spend another day longer than was necessary living in cramped quarters and fighting for parking space.
I arrived to the house, and paused at the gate. The house sat in contrast of what the rest of the neighborhood looked like. Instead of overgrown grass and tall weeds all over the place, the landscaping showed signs of relatively recent work. The guava tree in the front lawn still had some fruit ready to be picked, and the avocado tree on the other side of the pathway was still weighed down by its own fruit. Flowers still bloomed in the raised bed in front of the house. My brother had clearly tried to keep up on things until the last possible moment. The house, too, looked better than what I expected after walking up 4 blocks and seeing nothing but dilapidated houses and unkempt yards. I opened the gate and walked up to the small porch. The metal gate that enclosed it was gone having been removed by my brother when he took over the property. It looked nice to see it open instead of the cage it once felt like.
I turned the knob on the door, but it didn't give. Ever a creature of habit, my brother had locked the door when he left. Of course, he did. I sighed and prepared to find another way in when I remembered my parents hiding a spare key. I wasn’t sure if it would still be there, but after running my hands along the back side of the gutter downspout, I was rewarded for my efforts. I unlocked the front door and stepped into the front living room, the sounds of my footsteps and the closing door echoing in the empty space. The room felt both larger and smaller than I remembered it. I suppose it was lack of furniture that made it feel larger, but it still felt smaller than I remember. The result of growing taller throughout the years I suppose. I slowly walked along the slate tile floor towards the central hallway that connected the front of the house to the back bedrooms. I wasn't entirely sure that just because the front door was locked, that there wasn't some squatter looking for a little temporary shelter within the back rooms. I carefully and silently crept step by step towards what used to be the bedroom shared by my sister and me. I stuck my head in and gave the room a cursory glance. It was empty, thankfully. I moved back into the hallway and peered into the bedroom across the hall. This is where both of my brothers had shared a room. It too, was empty save for a few boxes holding hardware and doorknobs from the closet doors of the bedroom. I walked back towards the back of the house where my parent's bedroom was. The walls in the hallway bore the dusty signs where picture once hung. The bedroom door was open. I stepped inside, and looked around. The old avocado paint that my mom had picked out years ago still adorned the walls. Walking further towards the addition that was the small room my grandma and grandpa lived in showed that there was no one here. I breathed a sigh of relief as I set my bag down and set up my tripod. I reached into my bag a pulled out an envelope of old photos. These were old snapshots that we had all taken at some point in time in the house. There were pictures of all of us sitting at the dining room table playing a game of Monopoly. There was a picture of my brother and sister sitting on a couch in the front living room. There was a picture of me hanging on the bars of the front porch. I looked through them all and held them in place in front of me as if I were holding a window to the past.
Each picture made the lump in my throat grow as I started to struggle to control my emotions. There was history here, and soon it would all be gone. This is the place where my parents had raised four kids. They had taken care of my grandparents in their twilight years here. My Aunt and my grandmother had both died in this house. Birthdays, graduation parties, and anniversaries had been celebrated here. The echoes of life had reverberated within the walls of this place. Now, the house sat silent. It would never again know happy screams of kids having a water-balloon war out in the front yard, nor would it hear the cries of anguish as the matriarch of the family passed away surrounded by her family. What once was a home full of life was now just an empty house made of drywall and paint. I sat there for a moment contemplating just how much family history was actually made here. As I thought hard about my siblings and my parents, I felt pained at the thought of our strained relationships. We had all scattered once we had the opportunity to be free of each other. My oldest brother had married and moved away as soon as possible. My sister now lived in northern California. My parents too had moved away. I was now living in Utah. Only my older brother had remained behind. The lump grew larger in my throat as tears welled up in my eyes. I held back sobs of anger and pain. Why was I hurting? Hadn’t I dealt with these issues already? I walked back to my old bedroom and sat down under the window. I pulled my head down into my knees and cried. I could hear yelling and screaming in my head. Shouting matches between siblings and parents, brothers and sister, rattled inside my brain, making the pain grow. I sat there and cried. I hadn’t cried like this in a long time. Eventually I ran out of tears and tired gasps of sorrow and regret washed over me as a blanket of drowsiness enveloped me. I leaned my head back and fell asleep.
I woke up to the sound of footsteps. It took me a moment to realize what I was hearing and hurriedly stood up. Had someone followed me? I knew the police were patrolling the area sporadically. Had they seen me enter the house? I knew there would be a possibility of getting a trespassing citation, but I figured I could either talk my way out of it seeing as to how I was a former resident, or I could probably fight the citation in court if the judge knew why I was there in the first place. Ultimately, passing through the gate had been a calculated risk that I was willing to take for the sake of my art. I got up from my corner of the room and moved towards the door. If there was someone in the house, I needed to know. I didn’t want my gear to stolen, and if there was a cop in the house, I wanted to ensure I didn’t get shot.
I was greeted by the sight of a startled chubby boy standing on the other side of the door. His round cherubic face was crowned by a head of short curly hair. His hazel green eyes stared widely back at me. He clearly didn’t expect someone to be here in the house. His body recoiled in fear as he cowered back towards the hallway. “Wait, what are you doing here?” I asked as non-threateningly as I could. The boy muttered something that I couldn’t quite make out. “What did you say? I couldn’t hear you” I replied. “Are you here to rob us?” he timidly responded. “Rob you? What are you talking about?” I asked as confusion set in. “What are you doing here?” It was his turn to be confused. “Uh…I….live here?” he replied. “What do you mean you live here? No one lives-“I stopped midsentence. I hadn’t noticed in my initial shock but the room wasn’t the same. A familiar blue couch caught the corner of my eye. In front of that was an old console TV with a partially broken antenna hanging on the wall behind it. I walked further in to the living room to notice wood paneling on the walls. A large mirror hung on the wall to my left. Familiar yellow lamps sat on round drop-leaf tables on either side of the couch. A large hutch sat in one corner, a collection of letters and bills, mail advertisements, and a phone book covered scattered over it. “What just happened?” I asked out loud to no one in particular. I was thoroughly mystified by what my eyes were seeing. I had walked into the house from the front door and had stepped into an empty white room with slate floor tiles, but somehow now found myself in a furnished room with brown carpet that was all so familiar to me, yet was nothing but a distant faded memory. I turned to look at the boy still startled by the intrusion of a strange man looking wildly around the room in total shock.
“You can take what you want, just please let me go. I don’t want problems.” He stated his voice still shrill with anxiety. I blinked a few times as I tried to process just what the heck was going on. I gathered my thoughts as best I could and tried to reassure him. “Kid, I’m not here to rob anyone. I was just-“I shook my head “Where the hell am I? Am I having a dream?” I asked myself. “I must be dreaming. I’m just tired and still sleeping. This is all a dream. Yeah, that’s it.” I needed to sit down. Being back in the old house must have overtaxed my senses, I told myself. I’d having a dream about an old memory. I walked over to the chair next to the couch and sat down. I sunk into it and rested my head back towards the wall.
The boy kept his distance, but sensed I wasn’t there to hurt him. He looked me over with anxious curiosity. He stood at the far end of the couch, examining me while he played out scenarios in his head in preparation for a quick exit. “Why are you in my house?” he asked me. “Dude, this is all just a dream I’m having. I’m not really here.” He reached over to the couch and picked up a pillow. He reared his arm and threw it at me. It landed in my lap. “I don’t know, man. You sure seem to be here.” He said to me. I opened my eyes, startled. I looked down at the pillow he tossed and examined it. I ran my hand over the fabric and felt its texture. I remember this pillow. This was the pillow I would roll under my head as I lay on the couch and watched TV as a kid. A sudden realization hit me as I looked around the room with fresh eyes. No longer was I blinded by the fog of confusion. I knew exactly where I was.
I was home.
I looked at the boy still standing at the edge of the couch. I looked him over and realized who he actually was. I stared in disbelief as I smiled and tried to put him at ease. “It’s ok Johnny. I’m not here to hurt you. No one is going to hurt you. Please, sit down” I told him. I motioned to his end of the couch. “Who are you, and why are you here?” he asked me.
“This will be hard to believe, but I’m you” I said with an incredulous tone, “I’m not sure how I ended up here, but I’m here.” He looked at me as I had grown a second head. “That doesn’t make any sense. How could you be me? Did we invent time travel? Oh! Are we secret government agents with the CIA?”
I chuckled. “Wait, wait, wait. Let’s start at the beginning. I’m you at 38 years old. You’re…what, 11… 12 years old? It makes sense. I fell asleep under the window in my- our old bedroom. I didn’t come here on purpose or in a machine. And no, I’m not a government agent.” His face contorted to display understanding, disappointment and finally suspicion. His eyes narrowed as he leaned in towards me. “How do I know you’re really me?” he asked. I thought about it for a moment. How could I prove to him that I was who I said I was? A few seconds of silence settled between us. I stroked my chin, thinking of a solution.
“I have a better idea. Ask me questions that only you know the answers to.” “Okay” he responded. He glanced around the room trying to come up with something. His eyes fixated on the Nintendo sitting under the TV cabinet. “What game do me and Nathan have a map of?” I looked over at the NES. I hadn’t thought about this for years, but I knew instantly what he was asking. “YOU don’t have anything. Nathan is the one that made the map for Section Z” His jaw dropped. He tried to trick me, but his plan failed. He knew well and good that Nathan never let him play. It was always ‘I’ll let you play when I die’ or, ‘you can play when I’m done’. The problem was that he never followed through. Usually by the time Nathan was done, the NES was overheated, and the game would no longer load until it cooled down. By that point, it was time for bed.
“How do you know that?” he asked in astonishment. “I know these things because I’m you. Just like I know that you wear t-shirts to the pool because you’re embarrassed by what others will think of your body. I know that you used to think that people that die off in movies were prisoners that were set to be executed from death row, so they used them for making movies. I know all about you because I’m you”
Johnny sat on the end of the couch in bewilderment, his mouth slightly agape. He had never told anyone any of this. He didn’t have any close friends to talk to about such things, and those friends he did have were more acquaintances than friends. There was only one way he could possibly know these things. He was talking to his future self.
I could see Johnny’s mind completely explode. There lay endless possibility and the answers to a million questions he could ask about his own future. He started to ask a question, only to stop, close his mouth, and try asking another. I knew if he kept this up he would have a stroke or something. “Dude, calm yourself. Let’s talk this out rationally, otherwise you’ll end up stroking out or something.” I told him. He took a deep breath and I could hear him muttering quietly. I knew he was trying to form a coherent sentence before he actually spoke it. I did it all the time. “Ok, first of all, are we rich?” he asked with tempered expectation. I chuckled and grinned back at him. “No, not at all. If I was rich, would I be dressed like this?” I replied as I motioned to my beat up brown Vans and worn out jeans and T-shirt. “We-, I – make enough to get by. I’m not poor, but I earn enough to pay the bills.” His face grew a smirk as he commented “Yeah, I figured. What do I do for work? I mean, what do you do for work?” I thought about it for a second. I wondered how much information I should divulge to a younger me. I still didn’t think this whole situation was really happening, but if it was, I probably should proceed with caution. “Well, it’s complicated. I do a little bit of everything. You know how you’re constantly taking things apart? Let’s just say that it’s good to put them back together in order to keep them working. Take good notes on paper if you need to, and make sure you have a clean work area so you can keep track of all the parts.” He gave me a sheepish look. He knew exactly what I was talking about. I had spent countless hours sneaking dad’s tools to my room so I could figure out how something was built and try to figure out how it worked. I had gotten myself into some pretty bad trouble with dad over a drill, his timing light, and other stuff I had taken from his room. His belt had become quite familiar with my butt cheeks.
I gave him a knowing smile. “What else do you want to know?” He thought about it for a second. “Do we have a girlfriend?” I laughed, probably a little more than I should have because his face contorted into a sour frown. “You don’t need to be a jerk about it” he scowled. I continued to chuckle. “Yeah we have a girlfriend. We have more than a girlfriend” I could tell he was irritated with my vague indirect answers. I knew what he was asking. I remember the crush I had on my neighbor across the street. We had been friends since kindergarten, and had been classmates for 1st, 2nd, and 4th grades. We got along really well, and I knew from around 12 or 13 that I wanted to be her boyfriend. Unfortunately, things never progressed beyond the ‘just friends’ stage of things. It wasn’t from lack of effort on my part. We had just grown up together most of our lives that she didn’t see me as anything more than a brother and friend. “Dude, look. You just started to go through changes and you are starting to notice girls, but that doesn’t mean that you need to love every girl that shows you a little kindness or subtle interest. You need to slow down and let things happen naturally. You can’t force a relationship with someone.” Johnny pondered these words for a moment. I sat back and put my feet up on the coffee table. I looked around the room some more while I waited for another question. There was so much I had forgotten, but being back here had unlocked more and more memories that continued to wash over me. I was trying to hold on to my cool as not all those churned up recollections were pleasant. I stood up and walked over to the front door to peer outside the small central window embedded into the center of it. I could see the old neighborhood as I remembered it all those years ago. The lot across the street that served as a parking area for those that worked at the wheel works at the end of the block was empty of cars. I furrowed my brow as I thought for a moment. An empty lot meant it was afterhours or the weekend.
The gears in my own head started turning. “Wait, where is everyone?” I asked Johnny. Johnny turned to look at me still processing my last response. “Uh..oh, Mom and dad are out of town. They took a trip east this time. I think Rio said they are in Arizona right now. Rio and Nathan went out to get some food and to rent some movies from Video Showcase. Knowing them they’ll eat out first. Talia is staying over at Tia Rosie’s place today with her friends.” I grunted at his response. My mind was wandering as he mentioned Talia and Tia Rosie.
A sudden sharp pain pieced my heart. The pain of a thousand memories now unsealed spilled out from the box I had locked them away in. Tears welled in the corners of my eyes as I turned back to look at Johnny. He felt it too. He stared at the floor with an intensity that made me think it would burst into flames at any moment. I walked back over to him and sat next to him. He didn’t move. I placed my hand on his shoulder, and he threw himself into me. I could feel the tears dripping onto me as he sobbed intensely. “Hey man, its ok. It’s going to be ok.” I said as my own tears started to flow uncontrollably. I pulled him close and draped my other arm around him.
I knew the pain he was feeling. It was such a heavy burden, and I knew there was no one he felt he could talk to. I remembered it all so vividly. We sat there for what seemed to be an eternity. When we finally stopped sobbing, and our noses ran dry, we tried to breathe our way through to calmness. I got up and knelt in front of him. “Johnny, listen to me and remember what it is that I’m about to say to you. You are stronger than you think. You are stronger than you believe. NO ONE should ever have to go through this. Just because it happened to Talia, doesn’t mean you have to put up with it any longer. I know you didn’t think it was wrong, but I’m telling you that what she is doing to you is wrong. Talking to mom and dad isn’t going to make them hate you. You are not doing this to her, she is doing it to you. I’m not making excuses for her, but she is also more damaged than anyone realizes, and she is also dealing with the same level of pain you are. Remember that we do unto others what has been done to us. That doesn’t mean we need to continue the cycle of abuse” The lump in my throat grew immense at my own statement. I swallowed it as best I could and continued “You are going to deal with this pain a little bit at a time, and you’ll slowly get over this. It’s like a broken bone. When it happens, you don’t realize how bad the pain is until the adrenaline wears off, but then the immense pain is there. Just remember that this will pass. Just like a broken bone, you will heal over time, and one day, you will realize that the pain is gone and the bone is no longer broken. You’ll remember the pain, but it won’t hurt anymore.”
Johnny sat there in stunned silence. I knew he didn’t have anyone to help him through this. He couldn’t talk to Rio or Nathan about what was going on. Mom and Dad were constantly working to keep the family fed and sheltered and while they provided materially for their kids, emotional help was less available. Perhaps it was due to their energies being divided into 4 kids, a mortgage and multiple jobs, or perhaps it was also the culture of not talking about problems. Either way, they needed to know what was happening. They wouldn’t be able to fix it otherwise. “They’re going to be mad at me” he finally said after a few moments of silence. “No they won’t be. They love us all. I know you’re not used to hearing it, but they do love you. Everything they do is because of their love for us. This isn’t your fault. You didn’t do anything wrong. Telling them isn’t going to cause them to be angry.” I thought for a moment to find a good analogy. “You love Odie and Lady, right?” He nodded in agreement. “Ok, how would you feel if you knew someone you trusted was coming to the house and beating up our dogs when we weren’t around?” He thought about it for a second before his face changed to anger. “I’d want to kill them!” “Yes, but would you also feel sad that you weren’t there to try to protect them?” I reasoned. His face changed again. He understood what I was saying. Mom and Dad would be angry, but not necessarily at him. They would also feel a great sadness knowing that someone was hurting their child.
I smiled at him. He understood. I nodded. “Dude…You’re going to come to understand that life is not what you think it will be. Life is messy and can change in an instant. The plans you make today may not make it to next week. A lifelong goal can be derailed because of something out of your control. Mom and dad have spent their life protecting us with the goal of keeping us safe, but circumstances out of their control have affected their kids, and now we- you all have to deal with the fallout. Just remember that you are not the culprit. Yes, mom and dad will be hurt and angry, but not at you. Trust them. They don’t do things to hurt us” Johnny hugged me. I- He didn’t have many people he could trust and open up to. He liked to talk a lot about everything going on in his life, no matter how trivial. Everything, except this. This was a shameful topic, and he didn’t feel like anyone would understand why he didn’t go to an adult sooner. The problem was simple. He simply didn’t understand that it was wrong. Now that he had an adult that he could talk to, himself no less, he wanted to lift this burden off his shoulders. He was happy to have found someone and he hugged me tightly. I hugged him back just at tightly. It wasn’t every day that I could meet my younger self and help to comfort them. “Thank you” he said to me.
The world darkened, and everything faded to black.
I lifted my head out of my knees and looked around. I was sitting under the window in my old bedroom again. Had I fallen asleep? I pulled my phone out of my pocket and checked the time. I was emotionally drained and incredibly tired. I hadn’t had sleep like that in years. I got to my feet and looked around the room briefly before walking out to mom and dad’s old room. I grabbed my camera and slowly walked the house, snapping picture after picture. The only sound to be heard was the sound of the camera shutter and my soft footsteps. I thought about my dream as I took pictures.
Upon entering my room, a random memory hit me.
The stash.
I was pretty sure I had taken the hidden box when I moved out all those years ago, but since I was here, I should double check. Heading into the closet, I pushed the panel that led to the attic space out of the way and peered in. I couldn’t see anything, so I reached up there to feel around. The box was indeed gone. I felt around for a few more seconds and was surprised to feel what felt like a thick envelope. I didn’t remember leaving anything up there, but after pulling it down and giving it a cursory glance, I figured it was an old envelope of lost love letters. It wasn’t until I blew off the thick layer of dust that I realized what I was holding. It was a letter. Not just any letter. It was addressed to me.
Under the now semi-cleared layer of dust were the words “To be opened by future me”. I looked at it for a few moments before opening it. I couldn’t remember making this at all, much less storing it up in my secret hiding spot. If ever I hid something, it was in the stash box. My hands shook a bit as I started to open the envelope and pulled out the yellowed pages inside. I started reading.
"Dear Future John. I have spent the last few years remembering a dream I had when I was younger. Life was…difficult at that time, and I spent a lot of time escaping my reality by reading a lot of books and watching a lot of TV. On the off-chance that what I think is a dream really happened. I wanted to write some things down in an effort to give you my thanks. I merely consider myself a conveyer of thanks, although I will pile on my own thanks to you for your words of encouragement. I remember finding a stranger in the house one day while I was home alone. I was afraid he was there to hurt me at first, but after a few moments, I came to realize I was meeting myself. Well, I was meeting me, but from the future. I think he said he was in his 40’s, but I couldn’t tell you with any certainty. Either way, we talked. We talked about life, and what the future held in store for us…
Mostly though, we talked about the abuse. Well, Talked is being generous. We cried, and then we talked. I don’t remember exactly what he told me, but I remember how he made me feel. He made me feel safe. I felt like I could trust him. Trust myself. In the end, he gave me the courage to stand up for myself both at home and at school. He also gave me the courage to talk to mom and dad about what was going on between me and Talia. I do remember being afraid that I would be punished, but he reassured me that they wouldn’t, and that they loved me.
It was a difficult and awkward conversation, but in the end, arrangements were made for me to share a room with Rio and Nathan. I didn’t have much of a relationship with Talia for a long while, but after some years, we managed to patch things up. She apologized to me, and I came to understand the abuse she herself was subjected to by so-called family friends. She didn’t tell me this in an effort to excuse it, but to merely help give me closure to a difficult time from my own childhood. Mom and dad promised to be more attentive to us and we sort of established what I guess you would call an open door policy. We talk more about stuff that’s happening in our lives. Mom is much easier to talk to now. Dad is a little more patient with us too. I apologized to them for not coming to them sooner, and dad gave me a “nugget of wisdom” that I think I’ll live by: We can’t fix what we don’t know is broken. I’ve tried to make sure I talk to them when something is wrong, and I’ve tried to implement that in my life so I don’t have problems with other people.
I’m trying to grow up to be a good guy. I want to have good relationships with people. Nathan says I’m turning into a people pleaser, but I don’t necessarily see that as a terrible thing. I know when to say no to someone. Well, either way, I wanted to make sure I thank you for the help you gave us. I probably won’t remember writing this, but I hope I do find it again someday. Here’s hoping I turn into the man I feel you are. -John Age 16."
I stared at the letter, the words blurring as tears welled up in my eyes. I quickly brushed them away as I quietly spoke to no one in particular. “Thanks guys. I hope I live up to your expectations” I folded the letter, placed it in my pocket, and walked out of the room. After picking up my backpack and tripod, I silently walked towards the front door, my footsteps echoing in the empty house. I turned to look back at the empty living room one last time, and after a moment, I walked out.

That is how many prep periods I’ve had without subbing in the last month. PTO is a use it or lose it thing here, so I have covered other teachers for 16 out of the last 20 days. Most of these teachers took planned absences without leaving sub plans. I wrote my semester test during my lunch breaks. I graded papers and lesson planned after school. This isn’t sustainable.
To make things worse, my position is being eliminated due to budget cuts, which I was informed of within a month of letting my boss know I was pregnant and due in September. I have administered AP tests, state tests, and supervised classes that I have no business teaching. I spent more hours in the classroom this year than probably anyone else. I don’t really have the option to say no because pulling an aide to cover the class violates sped law.
If I have to sub tomorrow, I’m gonna end up on Snapped.

TW: Violence, Suicide
I (18 nb) am currently about to graduate high school with great grades and am accomplishing more in my life than I ever have previously. However, after my grandma died the 1st of february, everything has been going downhill emotionally and psychologically speaking. Which I am planning to see a psych about when I get money. However the main issue of this story is from 2020. I was 14 years old, so under the criminal age of 15 in my country. Throughout the year (and previous years) i'd developed both bipolar and psychosis (later diagnosed as schizoaffective disorder, now removed). Which led me to abusing alcohol for some months, up until the end of september. At this point I ended up snapping, so the 29th of September 2020, I snuck out at night with a knife, having had a few shots, with the intent to kill all singular people I met, then offing myself. I however, luckily only managed to non-fatally stab one person. I got caught 2 days after, but had joked about it at school and almost said it to a close friend. Then I got taken by child protective services, now in these 4 years after, I worked a lot and basically fixed myself. But now that I am falling down again, I have started processing this event again and it just haunts me to know I did that. And if I were to dwell too much more on it I might end up offing myself.

Okay I was watching Punch-Drunk Love (highly recommended movie) and I find it so relatable and I finally have the guts to share the most embarrassing story you've heard and be ready to cringe. This is a long one lads, it's a lore.
I was 11 turning 12 years old and this girl comes to my school who had just moved from Saudi. She used to get the best grades in school, you know she is the cool girl. My mom liked her when she met her at PTA and that was like a seal of approval for young me. (Context: - I live in an Asian country)
My mind fixated on her although she was an year and exactly 6 months older than me. (Same grade). So here's where the plot thickens. Grade 6, enters another student, let's call him Cow. So Cow sat near me from the first day of school and I introduced him to everything. He became more sociable than I am and the dude didn't care I mean that's alright shit happens but he became close to the girl I like. (Let's call her Moose)
Fast forward 5 years later, Cow and Moose are close friends and Cow's friends were shipping him for her. She kept friend zoning him. I have never talked to Moose ever. Like never. We were in the same class. Last day of school, I was relieved to be leaving my shitty school life just as I'm leaving Moose says bye to me like she waves her hand and I was like you talking to me (like De Niro). So I called up a friend I know (prefect) and he gave me her number and my excuse was that I needed the numbers of the students I didn't have contacts in class and he bought it. So I hit her up. I was mansplaining the fuck out. She took it like a good sport. We were texting for a while.
But Cow didn't like it. We were supposed to meet to get the leaving certificates back at school. Moose wanted to get it at the same time as me. Guess who's there. The motherfucking boogeyman, I swear jealousy is a motherfucker sometimes I can't ignore it. But guess what she called him "her brother" and I was sitting at the office couch and those words hit like melody to me. And I got up, talked to her. Like that shit gave me confidence like never before and it's gonna comeback to haunt me (later you'll realize). So I accidentally flirted at her and Cow went like "Huh". So now I'm overwhelmed and I realized I'm running my mouth too much so I went outside and this girl calls me.
Context about this other girl: - So you know how tuition classes are a thing in Asia so I was in an IT class where I know this girl from a ceremony. She became a real close friend to me and she'll play an important role later. (Let's call her Mini Cooper (coz she's short 😂))
So she saw me from her school van. And she was giving me a call. Looking back, she liked me. I hid the fact that I had a crush on Moose.
And now Cow is pissed off at me and he is pillow-talking through texts. He shares that embarrassing story where I broke fast for just a lollipop for my friend's birthday which is meant to be a fucking joke. Moose said these things to me and I wanted to get back at him so bad.
Now I'm in my relative's funeral and I was bored af (sounds terrible I'm sorry) and Mini Cooper started texting me after an Instagram story I posted. Atp she knows that I had a crush on Moose. I was loathing about the fact that Cow and his friends and Moose go to the same college now and I'm alone and shit and they are taking photos. I had severe Fear of Missing Out. And She mentioned about her friend that goes to the same college. And we find out that both these girls are best friends. I felt like I hit the jackpot. So I beg Mini Cooper to talk her friend and get her on my side. I was trying to be the parasite coz Cow was using his friends to ship him to her. So Mini Cooper set it up. And she said that this friend is a "high maintenance" and I should've knew then. I hit her up (let's call her Molly Shannon(glasses)) and it was cool and it went on. Now here comes the most embarrassing thing that happened. (if you've read up to this point huge thank you, coz my own ass wouldn't read something this long)
I was in Mania after the funeral ended and I was so overwhelmed to get back at Cow. So I started texting Cow. Stupid move like moving your Queen diagnol to the bishop. I was asking some stupid shit like When's your birthday and replying like "Oh yeah mine's at the end of November". And I asked how's college and shit. Then I asked "Do you know this girl? Molly Shannon(not her real name)" and dude was like "Yeah the girl with glasses" she hangs around with Moose. So I was like "she's my relative". This is the moment where I fucked up big time. Coz I don't know what I was thinking. I don't know what my plan was. He was like "Oh Nice".
So I stopped texting Molly Shannon after that coz she is a weirdo and I had not realized what I've done coz I completely ignored.
Weeks later, I see a Snapchat snap and Cow, his friends, Molly Shannon and Moose were going on a bus. Seemed like a flex on me. And I was like sighing. Then I get a call. It's from Cow. Cow takes a call with his friends and starts making fun of me. "Molly Shannon is your cousin?" with Molly Shannon laughing in the background. I was so embarrassed of it. My anxiety was creeping up. She ratted on me for clout.
So I joined this college (bcoz I'm stupid but yeah it ended up being a good choice thank god) and there was a orientation party and I was walking from mosque to college. And suddenly, Cow and his friends appear and they start making fun of me through the whole party. I fucked up big time. And this took a huge toll on my mental health. Plus the barber fucked my hair up and I was wearing a cap and I was walking around the party like an idiot with nobody. Moose and Molly Shannon were looking at me like crazy.
I call Mini Cooper and she calmed me down. (Best friend ever, love you ❤️) but I did more wrong to her coz I'm an entitled asshole. To dismiss the cousin rumours I said it was Mini Cooper's idea. She knew but she never spoke of it. The thing about Mini Cooper is my mom didn't like her. That's the thing that kept me from getting close to her. My mom made me not hang out with people she didn't like.
Okay, the most important fact here is that Moose never knew about any of this shit. She didn't know I had a crush on her. She didn't know the cousin thing. And it was weird. I went to her DMs and started apologizing for no reason. Another embarrassing moment. But Thank God.
This thing kept on bugging me for so long and I was already suicidal. Cow and I are the only ones in College and we weren't as terrible as we were before coz Moose left college in her 1st year. I tried to make it as funny as possible but you know it sounds terrible. And Mini Cooper, I know you know. I'm sorry.
This is one of the two embarrassing moments between Me and Moose. I do care if nobody reads, it would hurt me that this shit I did goes unacknowledged. Fellas, don't worry if you fucked up, you can't fuck up as much me.
This is a story of an entitled, pathetic, anxious, full of himself and impulsive idiot.

I'm not doing great at the moment since it just happened. I don't like gossip or talking behind people's back. Ironic I know. This post is about whether or not I did the right thing. Please don't insult anyone else: my mom (umm), my wife (Annie), my dad (abpa), my brother (Barry), my sister (Maggie), my cousin (Frank).
Save your judgment for me. Context: I'm 35M. first born. I left home after a huge fight with my mom after college. I was homeless for a bit. We've since reconciled. But I suppose not anymore. There's history there.
I'm only posting to see if what I did was wrong.
All names have been replaced and are not real. Other details like dates and places that are personally identifiable will be removed/changed. There are two languages: I will always show the original and translate as fairly as I can.
It is relevant for fairness to share that my mom is 3 hours ahead of me. I'm west coast, she's east coast. (10am for me it's 1pm for her) My time will be shown in the messages.
I will keep all messages exact and unedited, outside of the above.
I repeat: DO NOT INSULT MY MOM OR WIFE OR FAMILY. am I the asshole. nothing about them. just me.
On Mom's Birthday:
Mom [10:43am] it's mom's birthday but nothing is here (original: 엄마 생일인데 아무것도 없어.) [10:52am] [Picture of kitchen island with boxed tonesunscreen on it] [10:53am] (Mom is/I am) really sad. This is what Annie sent me for a gift. $10-20 toiletries. Something I don't even use. (original: 엄마 많이 섭섭해. 이게 [name]가 보낸 선물이야. $10-20 짜리 화장품. 엄마 이거 쓰지도 않는데.)
Me [11:51am] She got the same thing she got for you and her mom. Throw it out and I'll make sure to buy something nicer for you.
Mom [12:03pm] If she or her mom got the thing then I should get the same thing. I'm not Annie or Annie's mom. I'm your mom. You shouldn't treat me like this. [12:07pm] Not even one happy birthday said. (original: 생일 축하한단 말 한마디 없이.)
Me [12:56pm] call (no answer) [1:11pm] call (no answer)
Next day:
Mom [5:10am] I didn't answer the phone yesterday because I felt like I'm crying. I don’t want to talk like that with you. When you got married Annie I tried to treat her as an our family member. I know I can not treat her same as Maggie (my sister). But last year she didn’t say any word on my birthday. Even you and I talked on the phone. I didn’t want so much from her just as a family say good word on birthday wishes. This year same thing. And you, when you asked me what can I do for you ( maybe you forgot that even you asked) I literally said “다른거 필요 없고 무슨날 엄마 밥이나 사줘” (translation: I don't need anything just buy me some dinner some time) I’m not asking you expensive things. Don’t say throw them out but nicer things. You really missed the point.
Me [11:28am] You were upset because I didn’t do something for your birthday by 1040am on a Workday. It’s not about expensive things but you want to text a picture of the gift and say it’s $10-20. You got a gift, but no card. It’s cheap but it’s not about money. Annie’s a family member, how could she not text. Right after she texted happy mother’s day to you. Yesterday before dinner, Annie tells me “make sure you call your mom it’s her birthday”. I didn’t tell her what happened because I don’t gossip and talk bad about people behind their back. I call or text and wish a happy birthday to family. Like I’ve done every year. It’s the same as what everyone does for me. Sometimes I don’t get a call. Sometimes I don’t get a text. Sometimes the call/text comes a day later. Never did I text my family members in the morning asking why people didn’t do more for me. I’ll make sure to let Annie know about wishing happy birthday to you. In my screenshot is my daily goals from yesterday, I was excited about this week. One of those things was, of course, calling you for your birthday, just like I called for mother’s day. Two hours later while I’m in a work meeting with my boss, 1040am, I get a text from you telling me about how sad you are from my wife’s cheap gift and how I haven’t said happy birthday yet. Yesterday I woke up and went to work, and planned to call you after. You have a habit of disproportionately trying to make me feel bad. You’ve done it on your birthday before many years ago after you and abpa[dad in korean] had a fight. I was a college student and you took it out on me cause I was the easy target. You’re an adult. Your child can call later in the day to wish you a happy birthday. It’s not okay to text trying to make your son feel bad about not doing something sooner. [11:29am] [Screenshot of whatsapp conversation between me and my virtual assistant] [Screenshot start] [8:13am yesterday] Goals for Today, I want to be disciplined. It’s been a few weeks now since my conference and because of the conference and drinking there, I became slow and lost the energy to stay on top of my diet/exercise and morning routines that I was so happy and proud of. Let’s get back to that this week. Let’s work hard, let’s continue to set sights on big goals. I want to work on the 3 projects I have going right now. [personal project 1 company idea], [personal project 2 company idea], and [current company].
Today I will exercise 25 situps, 25 pushups, 25 curls, 25 shoulder press, and 25 squats. Today I will finish a few [work things] for [company]. Today I will teach class for [project 2] finish [lesson], and let folks know that there will not be class on wednesday. I will call my mom later today and wish her a happy birthday. I will also be going to my brother’s to take care of credit card points so that we can buy tickets for [trip], let’s work hard today and get a lot done. [Screenshot end]
Mom [4:09pm] My birthday is passed last year and this year. She didn’t text or say anything these two years. You may think that’s ok but not for me. I just expect to acknowledge these days and congrat each other. Is that too much? I don’t expect anything from her. But you mentioned so proudly on Sunday that Annie send me TWO gifts. I just want you to know I’m very disappointed that you are ok with that gifts. That’s why I mentioned the price as well. My birthday and Mother’s Day are always near by. Sometimes same day or sometimes few day apart. Is that too much that I asked you more thoughtful gift from you? If you think that’s too much , forget about this conversation. I think I’ve never treated you like this.
Me [2:03am] You’ve treated me way worse in my life. You didn’t wait for a text. You wanted to text me to make me feel bad. You had a bad morning. Maybe a bad night. You didn’t feel like I cared or people cared. Or maybe something else happened. And you wanted me to feel bad.
But your happiness is not my responsibility.
Your birthday is not a free pass to send guilt tripping texts to me and expect nice texts back. Annie sent you poison? She sent you a 4.5 star tonesunscreen with thousands of nice reviews. She was just trying to send something nice. It’s not expensive. But you say it’s not about money? Then why are you crying about it?
No one said “happy birthday” yet? The day wasn’t over. Why text me only? Barry[My brother] didn’t call until 5pm.
No one else gave you a good gift? Or are you comparing it with gifts that you’ve given to Annie? Then you give revenge-gifts. If that’s it then don’t ever give Annie and I anything ever again. You just wanted a dinner? I’m on the other side of the country.
Should I text you on my birthday asking why my mailbox is empty? Should I ask abpa[dad] the last 20 years where’s my present? Should I try and make you or abpa feel bad on my birthday if I’m unhappy? No, of course not. None of those is how a mature person behaves. Because my happiness is not your responsibility.
“Just want a text to acknowledge and congratulate”. You didn’t wait for any text. You chose to start upset.
Why didn’t you text Barry? if it’s just the text of happy birthday? You scared of his response?
I know why you’re not scared of me. 5 years of therapy to learn the way you used me as an emotional punching bag.
Your birthday morning wasn’t the way you wanted. Your gift wasn’t the way you wanted. You didn’t feel like anyone cared. Whoever you talked to. Whatever happened. You were unhappy. So you sent those texts to me.
You try to make me feel bad when you’re unhappy with your life. Why? When you used to have a hard day at work. Bad [customer]. Bad traffic. Bad interaction with coworkers/boss. Bad talk with abpa[dad], grandma, Frank hyung(older cousin who lived with us). Who do you think received your anger for no fucking reason? If I did all my homework, played [instrument 1], practiced [instrument 2], got good grades, did all my kumon(after school homework) did you know it doesn’t matter what I did, if YOU had a bad day?
If I’m watching tv, or playing a game, if you have a bad day, then my day has to be a bad day. Because people around you can’t be happy when you’re miserable. Not people that you can control. And controlling me was all you had. Even as I got older. Not allowed to leave the house.
You couldn’t control the language or culture out of the house, you couldn’t control grandma, frank hyung, or abpa in the house. your whole life, you couldn’t control too much.
So you controlled what? me. a kid. And as soon as hitting me didn’t make me cry you just tried to control my emotions to make me cry.
2010 May [day retracted]. Fight with abpa in the morning, he leaves the house. So you go down to the basement to yell at your son for not getting you a cake.
Junior in college crying, guilty in the basement buying you cake. That’s what you wanted. Someone you controlled. Someone to be miserable because you were miserable.
5 years of therapy in my late 20s to learn you’re the reason I don’t notice when women step all over me. I grew up used to it. Bad women relationships, weak sense of self, emotional abuse, angry all the time. Parents like you made Asian Americans the least likely to become managers in the USA (context: I became one in my later 20s). No confidence. No inner strength. Just quiet private anger. A young man clenching his fists, holding his tongue, and listening to orders.
Constantly blame others, blame myself. Always angry. Always yelling at [dog1]/[dog2], always trying to control them when I’m upset. Critical of everything, everyone, myself, never feeling like I’m enough or okay. Because growing up I was constantly on the receiving end of anger that I didn’t create. Don’t talk back. Don’t look at the eyes. Look at the wall. Never right. Always wrong. But every year I’m fixing that a little bit. Why? Because now I’m responsible for my own happiness.
I refuse to stay a bad dad to [dog2].
No more blaming, just thinking and working. being confident. fighting back. defending mself. speaking out. Looking at people in the eye.
Yesterday you didn’t feel good. So I was the one who did something terrible for your birthday? Hmm. I was going to call just like Barry did. You’re sad about the gift? You feel like no one cares. Why is it that I’m the only one that got those texts. You think your message was going to create apologies and happy birthdays from me? No. I don’t think so. You just wanted me to feel bad. Because you felt bad. You like controlling me. And affecting my emotions.
It’s why I left home many years ago. And you still have old habits. You wanted me to feel bad. You did the same thing talking about the [old project] community a few years ago. When you don’t feel happy. You try to make me feel bad.
But I’m old enough to know now that I didn’t do anything to deserve that yesterday. And you’re not allowed to step on me like that anymore. I’m not some weak 21 year old that’s crying in the basement buying you cake. I told Annie not to call. Your negative behavior is not allowed in my life.
Every day I work to undo things from my past. You’ve stepped on me your whole life. Made me a very scared, very angry young man. People like that never make it in the world successfully. They have all kinds of problems. But I want this to be very clear. I am going to be successful. I am going to be a [retracted]. I am going to make a positive difference in this world for those who are positive to others. And It will be despite all that you’ve done to me. It will happen because I will surround myself with peace, and positivity. Not negativity and manipulation. Through peace and for others, I will work harder than you or abpa or anyone you have ever known has ever done in their entire lives.
But If I don’t make it, that’s on me. If I’m unhappy today, that’s on me. If I lack something today, that’s me. I have to choose to be better. I have to work harder. Cause I’m responsible for my happiness.
You can choose whether or not you want to be negative or positive person moving forward in my life. That’s your choice. You want to step on me? Try to bring me down when you feel down? That’s your choice. But it’s my choice whether or not to let you be in my life.
you being unhappy yesterday morning. That’s you. That’s your choice. Acting the way you did. trying to make your son feel bad. That’s all you. You’re responsible for your own happiness. I didn’t do anything yesterday to deserve your texts trying to pull me down.
This is my last text about this. This conversation is over. Say one more thing about this that doesn’t resemble an apology and I’m not going on the [family trip]. Keep telling me youre an “innocent victim” “all I wanted was a happy birthday text” and you won’t hear from me for years. Be responsible for your actions. I have no room for your negative emotional manipulation in my life.
Mom [7:14am] Annie…. Very first gift from her was well known brand toner. That gave me bad skin reaction so I had to throw it out. I don’t want to talk to her about it because I appreciated what she wanted to try. But next time when I saw her in las Vegas I told her that her sun screen lotion ( what she used at that time) gave me a bad reaction so I can not use it. Last year when Maggie gave her 화장품 (toiletry) as a birthday gift she said that thanks but she can not use it because she has allergic reactions. Which is understandable but she’s still doing same thing to me. I don’t know who mentioned about good reviews or you found out your self. That doesn’t mean it’s good for me. She and I didn’t talk that much anything so far only few subject. I feel like she doesn’t care. I don’t know why you guys decided to send gift more than a month before. And how you said she send me two gifts made me so upset.
Barry… Barry and I talked about our birthday on the phone last week how it was good at last year’s dinner. He planned but eventually Appa paid( I mentioned who paid because you don’t get wrong info. ) and the way he always said skipping one year is not end of the world. We laughed about it. And he said next time we gonna have a good time. He called at 5 pm on my birthday I know as soon as he woke up he called me.
You mentioned why Barry is ok. Did I scare him? Come on… he is not saying nice words all the time but he is very thoughtful person. I think you agree with this.
You… I really sorry that you have all bad memories about me and your youth. I can not go back and I can not fix it now. I’m thinking back that days if I can live again maybe react little differently like I treated Maggie. As a first child you had a lot bad experiences. I agreed. But don’t say your life was miserable because of ME all the time. If you think this way there’s no reason to see me. I’m really happy to see, hear and feel that you’re working hard, being healthy and having enjoyable life. I want you to be a healther, happier and more successful person than right now. That’s no matter why we talked about right now. But I really want to make a point that don’t say I had bad morning or bad night before that’s why text you like that. Maybe you’re right. I had bad night before. After talked on the phone with you (as I told you before ). I felt disappointed so much. You keep saying you felt bad because of my text, why I didn’t wait? Calling to me is part of your daily plan. You keep saying I made you feel bad because I had anger problems or bad days. You’ve never thought about “what did I do wrong or did I miss anything?” You said you away from me how can I buy dinner? Same as easy to buy on line ( by Amazon) any merchandise. There’s tons of way to offer , you can make a reservation any restaurant or even you can send money 100- 200 dollars. Maybe I’m wrong but I don’t think it’s going to hurt you financially. Last year I waited until last minute that Annie would text me any word. No. That didn’t happen. If I waited until you call this year what’s the difference? I want more than hearing your voice is too much. Sorry that I think that way. And not being adult I ordered Rolex watch for next years your birthday gift and I was so excited about it. Maybe that’s why I’m expecting more than what you’re in mind about me. You are right. That’s all my problems.
[7:45am] If you don’t want to come [familytrip] , don’t spend time with family I can not force you to come. But don’t say if I don’t apologize you don’t come. Is new way to threaten? Come on [my name]. This is really too much.
Me [10:02am] There’s a difference between threats and boundaries. No one is allowed to be in my life to spend their energy trying to bring me down. Who would do something like that? My own mother. No we aren’t going on the [trip]. (context: all the tickets and arrangements have been purchased, this isn't some cop out, it's non-refundable, nothing to do with money on anyone's side)
You want to continue the conversation after I said I was done? Actions and consequences: Annie and I are very unthoughtful and uncaring to give you a skin care gift again. I’ll tell her exactly what happened. I’ll have her read every message. And understand what we did wrong. I’ll make sure we feel terrible today. I’ll make sure she remembers it forever. I will make sure my wife cries for your sadness and for our mistakes. We’re a bad son/wife who don’t care about my mother’s birthday and mother’s day. Your message has been fully received. We will feel sorry, we will cry and we will feel bad for you. I will struggle to work for my job. I will struggle to do my projects, and teach my students, I will think all day and all night about how sad this is. About this conversation, about our gift, about your gifts, about the phone call, the texts, mother’s day, your birthday, my birthdays. last year your birthday when we were in [another country]. I will struggle to eat and sleep properly. I know Annie and how sensitive she is. She will struggle and cry too. Your son and his wife will feel terrible about your birthday. Your message will be successful. You’ve brought the world down around you. Congratulations. Just like old times. Everyone is sad now. "You’re right.”
I will say one last thing as your son: be careful about hurting the people around you when you have a bad day. If you keep tearing the world around you down, there isn’t going to be a world left.
You and I are not going in the same direction.
I’m trying to learn how to be positive, hardworking, successful, strong, encouraging and helping others. Trying to be a little more positive everyday. Maybe I will never get there. But I will try. You want to spend your time fixating on me saying “two gifts”. You want to spend your time staring at the boxes, and sending pictures. You want to spend your time comparing, looking at costs, pitying yourself and telling people around you how terrible they are on your birthday. I guess that drama is something you want. Not me. You and I are on different paths.
After Annie and I cry for what we did. My boundary is this, I will never let you do this to me again. That will be the last scar. We will remember every year on your birthday, and remind ourselves how terrible and uncaring we were. I will remember that you wanted me to know and feel that. Every year I will remember but that will be the last scar you ever leave on me. You should return the Rolex. I will never use it, I will never wear it, I will throw it out instantly. To me it’s a poisonous gift. Don’t ever give me or Annie any gifts for the rest of my life.
We will smile and not forget that those past gifts were given out of your care and thoughtfulness. We will remember you did your best and wanted to do nice things in your way. but we will be sad with you. And be unable to use your gifts because your gifts comes with weight, revenge and paybacks. And we cannot accept them. You did everything right. You’re a good mom. We are just bad people. We never earned them or paid you back in our thoughtfulness for them. All gifts you have given me and her, we will stop using today.
I will not be receiving your messages anymore. Goodbye
[Blocked from phone/all social media.]
AITAH. Reminder do not talk bad about anyone else. I'll delete those comments. This is just about whether or not I did the right thing.

This is a weird situation. I'm going to start telling the situation, and then I am curious what you guys would do in my position. For reference, I'm a middle school ELA teacher.
So, about a week ago (two weeks before the end of the year), we were informed via an emergency meeting that we would need to add 9 days to the school year due to our calendar being submitted incorrectly. It's a long story, but we're a charter school and apparently we made a mistake submitting the calendar and, despite having well over our required instructional minutes, we are being forced by the state to add 9 full instructional days to our calendar. In other words, it's two weeks more of school with Memorial Day off.
The state sees these as normal school days and anyone absent is required to be marked absent. However, the students and families see these as optional. The way it is being presented to the families is that it is "additional" and not "actual school days." Even though the situation is complicated and not really our fault, they are actual school days by law. A significant number of the kids will probably not come.
Then there's the contract. My last contracted day is this Friday. We were offered a day rate for each day we are willing to work. I could use the money, so I signed up for 7 of the 9 days. I figured the 4-day weekend would be a decent break and I'd just jump back in to help out and get some extra money that I could use for a vacation over the now delayed summer. We were informed we may or may not actually be scheduled for the days we signed up for.
I was informed today that I was going to be scheduled the second week (so four days due to Memorial Day), which is fine by me. Then I found out that I would be teaching all of 7th grade and all of 8th grade by myself ALL DAY. Like I'm the ONLY one working with this group. They seem to believe that very few students are going to come, but how they can be sure of this, I don't know. What happens if they all come? That would be about 80 kids.
I also am not at all familiar with teaching any class longer than an hour. Imagine trying to teach a full day to a group of kids who are in school while half their friends are on summer vacation already. I literally have no idea what to do. I want to tell them I can't work it, but they are going to be extremely pissed. My assumption is that if they are running it like this, that no one volunteered. It's entirely possible that literally no 8th graders show up because they will have already had their promotion ceremony and all have their high schools lined up. There's literally no point in going. We're not even grading anything.
So, what would you do in this situation? I'm very hesitant to just bail on them, but I also do NOT have enough content for four 6 hour days. Movies and stuff will only get me so far because these kids can't make it through a full movie with their fried attention spans. Even taking them out on the playground scares me if there's no other adults because things escalate insanely fast with these kids. I'm genuinely concerned someone is going to get hurt and I'll be responsible. I also highly suspect it's only going to be the shithead kids because the parents will jump on the chance to get them out of the house for a couple more weeks. I'm also concerned about the legality of all of this, but I guess that isn't my problem.
They won't do work, because they know it's not being graded and half the kids aren't even going to be there which they will consider unfair. They are never going to listen to me lecture for six hours. Do I just get a bunch of board games and shit together? I was also instructed that I would need lesson plans in case the state asks what we were doing those days, which means I need 6 hours of content for 4 days (24 hours of content). I am an ELA teacher, not math, social studies or science.
I feel like telling them I just can't do it without another adult, but I know they're just going to say no one is available. They know I'm a single guy and have the free time, where as everyone else is going to claim they planned family trips and stuff. I DID sign up in the first place because I don't really have an "excuse," but I assumed we'd have at least a few periods.

I’m looking to see if this phone policy would be effective, or if I shouldn’t even bother. I know effectiveness of policy depends on the school and teacher’s willingness to enforce that boundary. It’s my first year teaching and phone use has been a nightmare. Most of my kids will be on them constantly, to the point where it impacts their grades. So far I think I’m the type of teacher who enforces a one-size-fits-all policy for rules (not structure of lessons), so things like RR use, late work, etc policies are enforced for everyone unless I’m given solid documentation otherwise. I think I want to make phones part of this policy. But I don’t know of any teachers who enforce this policy consistently, save one educator that I plan on speaking with. I’ve had teachers tell me their policies, but none of them consistently enforce it. But to me it is an immense issue and something I want to act on. I’m planning on having them put their phones in pockets and if I see them using them I won’t grade their work or give them a school computer for the day. I’m usually pretty good at being vigilant so I don’t anticipate phones getting stolen. I don’t want to pick and choose who to take phones from/call home for if use is excessive, because I can already anticipate the “but they’re using their phone!1!1!” argument. There is no policy enforced at my school, but I can imagine that if I include this in the syllabus and inform the students/families of it, then I should have admin support on the policy. My thing is…I work at a rather awful Title 1 school where I get little to no admin support on discipline. So…is it worth it? I feel like it is, but if anyone has some sage advice to share/a different policy I can approach this with, I’d appreciate that.

I have a group of friends na eventually palaging hindi na pumapasok sa kahit anong subjects namin. We have 8 members sa group of friends namin. 3 yung palaging hindi pumapasok sa amin partida pa naka dorm pa sila. 3 din kaming pumapasok consistently, yung 2 sa amin is malayo yung bahay and also babae kami lahat.
1st sem hindi sila ganon pero nung kalagitnaan na ng 1st sem napapansin ko ang tatamad na nila, mahilig na sila mag-clutch, nagtuturuan sila kung sino yung gagawa nito. Parang nagiging pabigat na sila sa grupo. 2nd sem na, ayun naglalabasan na ng true colors, partida hindi na kami block section kaya kami group of friends lang talaga naka-stick sa lahat ng courses. Ang dahilan nila bakit hindi pumapasok. Tinatamad, wala naman daw gagawin sa subject na yun at hindi naman nag check ng attendance yung prof. Malalaman ko pa sa gc namin na gising na si ganito habang nag video call sa jowa niya sa sa dorm sa time ng umabsent siya.
Ang ending yung 3 hindi pumapasok magtatanong palagi sa gc na ano daw yung mga topics na diniscuss, may quiz ba daw sa ganitong araw, ano daw mga fa na ipinagawa etc. Minsan kapag awang awa na ako sa kanila or nasa mood ako maging mabait dahil kaibigan ko naman sila sinasabi ko kung ano mga gagawin next meeting at yung FA na kailangan ipasa next meeting onsite. Pero diba responsibilidad mong pumasok para malaman yun? Hindi na kayo bata para i-remind sa ganitan attitude niyo. Palagi silang kumakapit sa amin pero nung nanghingi lang ako ng favor sa isa sa kanila, hindi man lang mabigay super simple lang nun ate.
Ang unfair lang kasi minsan sila pa yung mas mataas yung letter grade. Yes, alam ko naman na may individual grading pero ang unfair for me na consistenly present ta's ganoon lang scores tapos sila hihilata lang sa kama buong time na class na hindi nila pinasukan at magtatanong ano mga gagawin sa subjects na yun. One time din, before mag monday ina-nounce na may quiz sa thursday at 3 kami lang pumasok sa amin group of friends that day. Kaya ako todo kinig naman sa discussion, at talagang na-gets ko siya. Before kasi kapag nandiyan sila wala talaga ako na-gets sa lesson stats pero nung wala sila gurl grabe parang doon ko na-realized na hindi pala ganoon ka-hirap stats lalo na yung prof namin is ineexplain talaga detailed yung lesson. Kaya na-motivate ako mag-review, as in inintindi ko from the top lahat sa bahay. Eto na thursday quiz na, pumasok yung 2 pala-absent kasi alam nilang may quiz e, yung isa hindi na pumasok. Habang nag quiz kami, etong isa tinitignan niya yung sagot ko ako naman na todo takip kasi pinaghirapan ko yun tas ikaw parang ganon mo lang makukuha? Wala siyang nakuha sa akin kaya nangopya siya sa harapan namin. Grabe mas mataas pa lamang niya sa amin na nag review.
Sinusubukan ko hindi mahawa sa mga ugali nilang ganon pero alam kong hindi ko ma-control yung subsconciously behaviour ko kaya siguro ang solution is change na ako ng group of friends next sem. Kayo guys, what do you think is the best solution? dahil ayokong masanay na maging ganyan din ugali ko sa susunod na taon. Selfish ba ako kung pinagdadamutan ko sila sa mga answers at output na dapat sila ka-grupo ko?

First
While the first few weeks were pretty eventless, Mor had this bad feeling that the peace would not last. He excels at magic theory and can hold his own on applied beginner magic, still, he had a dower outlook as he was unable to make a single friend.
But when, after the lessons, he found a little letter slipped discreetly below the door of his dorm room, it changed his outlook in an instant. So as he opened the envelope slightly smelling of flowers, Mor read the elegantly written letter inside, a dopey smile growing on his face.
"I don´t know how to start this letter, but I admire your smarts and think you are really cute. I would like to meet you tomorrow after the lessons behind the training center where we could have a talk and get to know each other some more.
Zaletha Angelith"
As he went to class the next day, his head in the clouds, he finally felt that everything would be alright it was his popular phase now. While he dreamily sat through the lessons his imagination ran wild and sometimes threw a shy glance toward the girl who wrote him the letter. His heart fluttered a little as she noticed him and smiled brightly. Mor could not await the end of lessons and finally was released from his torment. He was almost rushing to the meeting spot not wanting to let this opportunity go, and he would not be made to wait long. A few minutes after he arrived at the meeting spot the sparkling form of Zaletha walked up to him smiling brightly and instantly going for a hug, which set Mor´s brain into a state of shock and exhilaration.
He was instantly thrown into a dreamy dopey state and did not notice the other visitors who intruded on the intimacy of the two to be lovebirds.
"Look at that, the princess and the peasant!" One of them exclaimed and the other two snickered.
"Maybe you should rather get yourself, someone of your status, like a little beggar girl. You magicless looser"
And while those words were hurtful to Mor he just ignored those idiots, but then his view fell onto the face of Zaletha. He saw her fear of those bullies and instantly a cold furry began to burn in his chest. Turning around furious he began to channel his magic, glowering at the three other boys
"Fuck off Ruby, and take your flunkies with you, or I will beat you up!" He shouted and all three just smiled at him. The leader called Ruby raised an eyebrow at Mor.
"You would attack someone from royalty? Know your place trash. I Ranbor Ruby, am the most talented flame caster of this school and can burn you to cinders if I wish!"
A slight bout of fear manifested inside of Mor´s conscience but as his view flickered to Zaletha clinging fearfully at his back it was quickly squashed. His rage reached new heights and he unleashed a bolt of pure arcane power which instantly was stopped by a magic barrier cast by one of the flunkies.
Mor was instantly caught in a whirling wall of fire, burning away his flesh, hurting like nothing ever hurt before, he would die, right here right now but at least he could protect Zaletha. Smiling like an idiot he embraced death, just as with the snip of fingers the flames disappeared, along with something, and a feminine giggle started behind him.
There he was standing looking like an idiot, his actions finally catching up with his brain and draining all color from his face. He slowly mechanically turned to look at Zaletha, but his admiration for her was completely gone, and she just laughed at him.
"He really fell for it, that lowly peasant thought he could have a chance with me!"
And now he understood, with his longing for friends, for someone to have social connections his hope for that letter to be real, Mor was caught in an illusion magic. Forming his thoughts, giving him fake feelings, and making him make a stupid mistake, as it is against school rules to use magic against another student. So here he stands four people laughing at his idiocy and he has no witness of his own to change the narrative, he was caught and would now be expelled.
"Well, well, well peasant. You are really in a sticky situation here, aren´t you?" Ranbor gloated.
"But don´t fear, we won´t tattle on you, but let's say for our understanding and silence you need to grant us a few small favors, nothing too bad, so don´t fear. How about you do our homework for today? That seems fair, for the scare you caused."
With that, Mor knew his bad feelings had been right and he would be at the mercy of those bullies. Because who would believe a low-born over the statement of a group of nobles? His school life of dread would really kick off now.
While his grades stayed good, as he would from this point on, always did the homework for 5 people, and secluded himself as often as possible in his room while they had free time so he could evade his tormentors, every time they would cross paths they would torment him with illusions if no teacher was nearby and be all buddy while a teacher was watching. It drained him and let his magic control waver, because of this his applied magic training got worse and worse.
Mor would often think to write a letter to his parents about his dismay, but could not bring himself to disappoint them, so he would lie about how he made a lot of friends and how great everything was. Sometimes he would try to trip up the lies of his bullies in front of a teacher, but his attempts were always seen as "friendly" rivalry between the generous nobles, who took on the peasant recluse and tried to get him to socialize against his will.
As soon as the teacher was out of sight, he would pay for his insolence with illusory pain, and anything to hurt him, that would not leave any marks. It was plain hell and as his thoughts went to quitting everything more and more, another desperate plan formed in his brain.
Maybe if he could be strong enough if he could get specialized magic he could fight back show those bullies he can not be taken lightly and finally break this abusive cycle.
He would do something forbidden, a once-in-a-lifetime ritual, designed to join the souls of two soul-kin together, a ritual designed as bonding with your soulmate and lifelong partner joining your magic pool and affinities together and enhancing both. In some children story´s a lone hero would often use this ritual to fuse his soul not with kin but a mighty elemental force and become far more powerful than any kin, with the cost of staying alone forever, never having a "true" soulbond.
In the deep night, Mor began to draw the required magic circles, using his blood and earth from the gardens as a medium for an earth elemental force and with a last bit of exertion he funneled all his magic into the ritual, falling unconscious at the same time.
In the same moment, fate called, or perhaps it was just chance, when a pick struck something that should never been rediscovered, and something was awakened that should have died in eternal slumber.
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Second try because something went wrong.

Hello everyone!
I’m a first year-teacher. I’m completely burnt out. I just had my end of the year post-observation; and I did poorly. All of my observations so far were in the developing/effective stages.
My last observation was in math. I love math. But with these group of kids, it’s so hard to teach it. I’m usually burnt out at this point of the day and I’m just trying to survive. My lesson was marked as “ineffective”. I was inconsistent with my objectives and I did a big whoopsie and made an exit ticket that didn’t correlate with my objective. We were comparing fractions. I made an exit ticket where they were making equivalent fractions.
I was told that “math isn’t your strong teaching point”. I was compared to teachers who are probably good at one subject but not the other. I nodded at this critique but I was hurt inside. I was given a few good pointers.
For math, how do you guys do it? How do you plan for the lesson? I get told so many things and pointed to people who “could help” me but sadly don’t. There were times I need resources for a math lesson and my school resource teacher didn’t have them.
What are your go-to resources? I currently teach 4th grade and we’re using bridges. The teacher guide for these lessons suck ass. There’s rarely any modeling, and if it is, I’m awful at finding them.
Please give a newbie some pointers. I feel like a failure.

This is a huge can of worms.
First and foremost, originally when my husband's x wife vanished from the face of the earth for four months, as well as moving 60 miles away (he said that was against the parenting plan) he filed against her in court, and the judge threw it out saying that she's allowed to move counties. This was 7-8 years ago. Currently, (and since our daughter's 1st grade year, she's in freshman year of high school now), His wife is supposed to take our daughter Monday, Tuesday, Friday and every other weekend, but she only takes her a random weekend a month (if that). She also does not have a job (we don't know if she has welfare or not) and lives with a girlfriend and some roommates.
Next, my husband was worried if we got a lawyer, it would cost us more to pay for the lawyer then we would get back in child support, but is there a silver lining? Like can we ask to change the parenting plan instead of trying to force this woman to take her more? We are worried it'll mess with her schoolwork if she's over there more. Daughter has diagnosed ADD and her mother as well, and the last few times she was over there she got super behind on the schoolwork (she's online home schooled now so we can keep a better eye on her assignments, as her learning coaches).
Lastly, she is supposed to pay 40 percent of above and beyond medical and dental costs. IE, we pay the dental and health insurance, and 60 percent of said bills.
And one other thing, we moved counties too recently because of the cost of living going up massively (rent prices) and being able to afford a house in this area.
If we take legal action, do we have to get a lawyer, or can we file something with the court to see if the judge can help us?
We live in Mason County, WA but moved from Thurston so I would assume we file with the Thurston County court (where they got married and divorced)?

I am 15 and in 9th grade, I am taking geometry. A few months ago I took a peak and saw my teacher (my mother, I'm homeschooled) type in the password to the answer key for geometry. I take it on a computer program called Teaching Textbooks. But the real problem is i have just been doing the Lessons every day for the whole school year while she wasn't looking and using the answer key. I have one more year of math in high school which is Algebra 2. From what she's told me we are going to use the same program which means it will probably be the same password if i wanna keep doing it how I'm doing it right now. But i already have planned my future and it involves having to take calculus like every degree dose. and if i only know up to basic algebra how am i going to pass statistics and calculus. Any advice? TL;DR: I cheated in school and might have to work at a gas station and be poor forever.

ABOUT ME:
living in Singapore, indian, taking the IB in november this year! I'm planning to list anthropology and politics as my top 2 major options in the common app, but I'd like to pursue an independent major.
GRADES:
IB Predicted: 40/45
SAT: took it once last year and got a 1470. I'm going to retake in august this year.
EXTRACURRICULARS:

1. Debate/Speech: Club President

Competitor in school debate team from 2020 to 2022, participating in national competitions and winning several awards. In charge of logistics, planning and training competition team from 2022 to 2024.

1. Internship: Legal Intern

Summer internship at XXX Law Firm, rated my country's best law firm in the YYYY prestigious ranking.

1. John Locke Essay Competition: Politics

Wrote a political essay for the John Locke Essay Competition in 2022. Awarded a high commendation, in the top 16 out of the hundreds that applied.

1. Community Service (Volunteer): English Tutor

Taught English online to Syrians affected by the war and lacking opportunity + resources. Created lesson plans, practices and activities.

1. Research: Anthropological Researcher

My interest in anthropology led me to conduct research on South Asian migrant labourers in my country and their sense of belonging, supervised by a teacher.

1. Research: Film Researcher

My interest in film led me to conduct a full-length research on the portrayal of gendered dynamics in Indian Parallel Cinema, supervised by a teacher.

1. Art: Filmmaker

Directed and wrote a short film that was screened both locally and internationally at the XXX Film Festival. My role involved planning and forming a story in the pre-production, heading the filming team and directing the actors in the production, and supervising the post-production. The screenings involved Q&A sessions with the audience

1. Art: Poet

My poetry has been published in a variety of international literary journals (not pay-to-publish!)

1. Art: Artist-In-Residence

Planned a full-length screenplay pitch for production. Selected to attend an Artist-in-Residence program at the International Centre of the Arts based on the merit of my pitch.

1. Paid Work: Customer Service

I have work experience in F&B as well as retail: handle relations with customers, represent a brand, provide services such as food service, cashiering etc.

1. Publicity

Managed instagram accounts for student-organised film showcases. Posted publicity promotions, details on the films, and attracted public attention. Both events sold out and had good social media engagement.

1. Small business: Publicity and Customer Liaison.

Helped my mum (a homemaker) create her own catering service. Liaised with customers, handled logistics and advertised the service.
lmk if you have any questions! i'd love to hear your honest opinion on my chances.