I recently graduated with my Master's degree, and it's been particularly horrible applying for jobs. I'm at my wit's end and am considering reapplying for my old serving job while looking for a full-time job... but it's a mess.
I used to work full-time hours serving at a pretty popular chain restaurant near my college to put myself through my Master's education until a co-worker put his hands on me. An internal investigation and a police report were filed. Needless to say, the "internal investigation" was a sham, and I recorded and reported everything I possibly could and took it to student legal services. To keep this short, the restaurant had us working alternate hours in the end, but the harassment I received from other coworkers following the assault (blaming me for getting him in trouble, waiting for me to get off my shift outside, throwing things at me, etc.) was as bad as the assault itself. I put in my two weeks and cited all the reasons for leaving. The entire situation held my Master's education hostage and put me in a pretty dark place. Since then, I have graduated and been through extensive counseling and medication changes. The hardest part still is understanding that what happened is not something I nor anybody deserves to have happened to them.
The chain restaurant has locations all over the country, including my hometown [VA], where I'll be moving in with my partner (yay!). While I'm looking for a full-time job, I thought I might apply to the location near my house, but I'm terrified they'll contact or be contacted by HR from the other location. I looked at the old email I got from HR and saw that the college location's HR agent does not handle anything anywhere near my hometown (there are different cities listed under the agent's name). I wonder, given that it's a franchise, if my hometown restaurant has an entirely different hiring process/HR team than my college town does.
What I want to know is if my application will be flagged in some way based on what happened at the other location and if that is cause for denying it right away. For all the HR people out there reading this, what would you do if this application came across your desk? My partner says I have nothing to worry about and that the most the location can say is 'no.' I actually really loved that job and still have the menu memorized. I make the drinks at home sometimes.
TLDR: I want to reapply for the same job in a different location, but I'm not sure if being the victim of a workplace assault will follow me and prevent me from applying.

Hi there! You can call me Ruby, I've been reading for under a year but found tarot as I was going through my own spiritual journey and picked it up rather quickly. My readings center around self reflection and a tool for insight rather then a way to predict the future. I never sugarcoat my readings and I'll always tell you how I see it in the cards. I love using tarot as a tool to help people, to show them areas they need to work on or giving advice or using it to help understand a person or situation better and giving guidance. It does occasionally take me a few days to get the reading out but I work two other jobs so I'm very busy and want to take my time with my readings because I like to go in depth! Right now I'm offering a special where you can purchase any in depth reading for 10 dollars 5 dollars!
I have other readings available as well and all my other prices are listed below in CAD so if you're american the prices will be lower then what I have listed (including the 10 dollar 5 dollar special). <3 If you don't see anything that suits your needs feel free to message me and we can work something out! Thank you for checking me out and I look forward to hopefully reading for you!
https://featheredtarot.etsy.com/
One Card Reading: $2.50 $1.25
Three Card Any Topic/ Relationship Reading: $10 $5
Celtic Cross Reading: $25 $12.50
In Depth Relationship Reading: $30 $15
Self Read Oracle Cards: $1+ $0.50+
Rush my reading (24 hour is likely but if not 24 hours you get pushed to the front of the line and it's guaranteed to be as soon as I can) $15
Yes/No Questions: $0.50+ $0.25+
For those interested I'm also offer various different charity tarot readings for Ukraine from anywhere from $4.50 $2.25 for a one card reading to $40 $20 for an in depth relationship reading. The majority of the proceeds will go to a charity of your choosing from the ones I have listed so please feel free to check out that listing if you're interested. <3
Reviews:https://www.reddit.com/userubygrey2021/comments/ur7xdk/reviews/
https://www.reddit.com/userubygrey2021/comments/160p4ereviews_part_2/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3

Hi there! You can call me Ruby, I've been reading for under a year but found tarot as I was going through my own spiritual journey and picked it up rather quickly. My readings center around self reflection and a tool for insight rather then a way to predict the future. I never sugarcoat my readings and I'll always tell you how I see it in the cards. I love using tarot as a tool to help people, to show them areas they need to work on or giving advice or using it to help understand a person or situation better and giving guidance. It does occasionally take me a few days to get the reading out but I work two other jobs so I'm very busy and want to take my time with my readings because I like to go in depth! Right now I'm offering a special where you can purchase any in depth reading for 10 dollars 5 dollars!
I have other readings available as well and all my other prices are listed below in CAD so if you're american the prices will be lower then what I have listed (including the 10 dollar 5 dollar special). <3 If you don't see anything that suits your needs feel free to message me and we can work something out! Thank you for checking me out and I look forward to hopefully reading for you!
https://featheredtarot.etsy.com/
One Card Reading: $2.50 $1.25
Three Card Any Topic/ Relationship Reading: $10 $5
Celtic Cross Reading: $25 $12.50
In Depth Relationship Reading: $30 $15
Self Read Oracle Cards: $1+ $0.50+
Rush my reading (24 hour is likely but if not 24 hours you get pushed to the front of the line and it's guaranteed to be as soon as I can) $15
Yes/No Questions: $0.50+ $0.25+
For those interested I'm also offer various different charity tarot readings for Ukraine from anywhere from $4.50 $2.25 for a one card reading to $40 $20 for an in depth relationship reading. The majority of the proceeds will go to a charity of your choosing from the ones I have listed so please feel free to check out that listing if you're interested. <3
Reviews:https://www.reddit.com/userubygrey2021/comments/ur7xdk/reviews/
https://www.reddit.com/userubygrey2021/comments/160p4ereviews_part_2/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3

Hi there! You can call me Ruby, I've been reading for under a year but found tarot as I was going through my own spiritual journey and picked it up rather quickly. My readings center around self reflection and a tool for insight rather then a way to predict the future. I never sugarcoat my readings and I'll always tell you how I see it in the cards. I love using tarot as a tool to help people, to show them areas they need to work on or giving advice or using it to help understand a person or situation better and giving guidance. It does occasionally take me a few days to get the reading out but I work two other jobs so I'm very busy and want to take my time with my readings because I like to go in depth! Right now I'm offering a special where you can purchase any in depth reading for 10 dollars 5 dollars!
I have other readings available as well and all my other prices are listed below in CAD so if you're american the prices will be lower then what I have listed (including the 10 dollar 5 dollar special). <3 If you don't see anything that suits your needs feel free to message me and we can work something out! Thank you for checking me out and I look forward to hopefully reading for you!
https://featheredtarot.etsy.com/
One Card Reading: $2.50 $1.25
Three Card Any Topic/ Relationship Reading: $10 $5
Celtic Cross Reading: $25 $12.50
In Depth Relationship Reading: $30 $15
Self Read Oracle Cards: $1+ $0.50+
Rush my reading (24 hour is likely but if not 24 hours you get pushed to the front of the line and it's guaranteed to be as soon as I can) $15
Yes/No Questions: $0.50+ $0.25+
For those interested I'm also offer various different charity tarot readings for Ukraine from anywhere from $4.50 $2.25 for a one card reading to $40 $20 for an in depth relationship reading. The majority of the proceeds will go to a charity of your choosing from the ones I have listed so please feel free to check out that listing if you're interested. <3
Reviews:https://www.reddit.com/userubygrey2021/comments/ur7xdk/reviews/
https://www.reddit.com/userubygrey2021/comments/160p4ereviews_part_2/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3

Hi there! You can call me Ruby, I've been reading for under a year but found tarot as I was going through my own spiritual journey and picked it up rather quickly. My readings center around self reflection and a tool for insight rather then a way to predict the future. I never sugarcoat my readings and I'll always tell you how I see it in the cards. I love using tarot as a tool to help people, to show them areas they need to work on or giving advice or using it to help understand a person or situation better and giving guidance. It does occasionally take me a few days to get the reading out but I work two other jobs so I'm very busy and want to take my time with my readings because I like to go in depth! Right now I'm offering a special where you can purchase any in depth reading for 10 dollars 5 dollars!
I have other readings available as well and all my other prices are listed below in CAD so if you're american the prices will be lower then what I have listed (including the 10 dollar 5 dollar special). <3 If you don't see anything that suits your needs feel free to message me and we can work something out! Thank you for checking me out and I look forward to hopefully reading for you!
https://featheredtarot.etsy.com/
One Card Reading: $2.50 $1.25
Three Card Any Topic/ Relationship Reading: $10 $5
Celtic Cross Reading: $25 $12.50
In Depth Relationship Reading: $30 $15
Self Read Oracle Cards: $1+ $0.50+
Rush my reading (24 hour is likely but if not 24 hours you get pushed to the front of the line and it's guaranteed to be as soon as I can) $15
Yes/No Questions: $0.50+ $0.25+
For those interested I'm also offer various different charity tarot readings for Ukraine from anywhere from $4.50 $2.25 for a one card reading to $40 $20 for an in depth relationship reading. The majority of the proceeds will go to a charity of your choosing from the ones I have listed so please feel free to check out that listing if you're interested. <3
Reviews:https://www.reddit.com/userubygrey2021/comments/ur7xdk/reviews/
https://www.reddit.com/userubygrey2021/comments/160p4ereviews_part_2/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3

Hello all, total novice here. About five years ago, a friend helped me pick out a bunch of computer parts and he put them together for me because I have no clue how to. I currently have a 2080 TI and I want to upgrade to a 4080 Super. The fan on my current GPU has started wearing down (it sometimes makes a quiet grinding/rattling noise) and the card itself just isn’t holding up to many of the games I play these days (I do a lot of VR stuff).
However, I am confused on whether or not I will even be able to make this upgrade given my current power supply. The model is called “EVGA 750 B3 850 W 80+ Bronze Certified Fully Modular ATX Power Supply.” No clue what any of that really means frankly. My friend also gave me a bag of extra cables that (I guess?) came with the power supply. I understand that the 2080 TI and 4080 Super use different types of cables to connect to a power supply, but I have no idea which one(s) to use and the last thing I want to do is screw up. I’ve heard horror stories of cables and other parts melting due to user error— I do not want that to happen to me.
If extra clarification is needed, let me know. Any and all help is greatly appreciated. Thanks!

Something I struggle with is feeling inadequate a lot like I have no talent or anything special about me like whatsoever. I love drawing and people have always told me I’m good at it but no matter how much I improve I’ll always feel like I’m not where I want to be like I’ll never get there. Same thing with makeup I love it and I want to practice more and get good at doing like editorial makeup but I’ve never really had the talent so I think maybe I should just give up. Even when it comes to school, I feel like I’ll be a bad teacher and that makes me want to cry. I’ve felt this way about every skill and hobby I’ve ever had. I feel like everyone and around me are all special and Better than I am. I’m just nothing always somewhere far but not too far from being actually good at something, never reaching my goal. I’m untalented, and horrible, I’m just bleh.

The book was about a girl who’s inventor father went missing, and she somehow joins forces with this boy who pickpockets people and they go to find him. I think at the end they throw these glass ball things full of lightning, hornets and other stuff. Please help me figure out what it is.

I’m a trans bisexual male. Me and my crush of 8 YEARS, went to the same school till year 8. We don’t go to the same hs but I see him online and around the neighbourhood. I always have sudden urges to see him again or hit him up. bc I have dreams or daydreams about about us. And seeing him again would put these emotions away.
I was about 8-9 years old when I met him. Over the past 8 years I’ve been with other people, I’ve liked other people. But my mind is always brought back to him. I’ve never liked someone for so long and wanted somebody this desperately. And it wasn’t like we had a close friendship, we were just classmates in most situations. The first 2 years my feelings for him were strong, and he knew I liked him since my friends would tell him. Whenever he’d ask tho I’d say no. I had a feeling he did like me back at some point but we never got anywhere bc I’d always run away like an idiot.
I saw him just two days ago taking a run (he lives just down the road from me.) he looked EXACTLY the same and I’ll be real, I stopped just to watch his back run off down the road. He’s always running around the neighbourhood bc he’s a sports freak. A soccer addict guy. I went and searched him up on Insta on my alt acc. (All he posts is soccer.) The urge to dm him on my main account, just to talk or to hangout with him is rising slowly. But I’m hesitating.
Why do I think I even have a chance with this dude. Why do I think he’d even want to talk or hang out. Our friend groups are so different and he’s probably busy all the time. He’s probably not even gay or bi or ANYTHING, and yet there’s this small sliver of hope that he’ll like me back even if I’m a guy now. Since he’s never dated anyone, atleast not that I know of…maybe he likes a girl, I think about that all the time. If I STAYED a girl would he like me back? Nope. Before I came out transgender I was the most masculine girl around. but I don’t feel jealous or mad, knowing he probably likes girls. The only emotion I feel rn for him is need. Even if he just wants to be friends I’m fine with that, I crave him in my life after so much years of wanting him.
How the heck do I start up a conversation with him tho? I’m thinking of all the worst things that will happen. Do I just say “hi do u remember me, we use to go to school together. Oh yea and also I’m a guy now..” DO YK HOW AWKWARD THAT IS. (ik that’s basically what I have to say) I’m stupid for still liking this guy who probably doesn’t even think about me anymore bro.
How do I tell him I’ve been thinking about him, that I still miss him, he’ll be weirded out and I’ll look like an idiot. Telling him I still miss him after just complete nothingness between us after so long. Do I just ask him “do u want to hangout?” I’m the last thing he’d even care about. He’d rather date a soccer ball then an actual human. If I told my friends about him they’d just tell me “there’s nothing special about this guy all he does is play soccer?” AND I KNOW THAT. But he was my first gay crush. What do I do I’m an idiot.

How do you make sure your builds in survival won’t be ruined by skellies or brutes? I never want to put much time in my builds bc of this but then I come to reddit and I see everyone going all out and building long railways and things that would surely be near brutes and enemies with dynomite. And even bears are destructive. I’m also confused with people who live in the cold biome. What am I missing? I’m a new gamer, older 30s, a “mom trying to get into Fortnite for son but not skilled enough for BR”. 😎 🧠 🖐️ 🛑

My manager is a bully basically; patronising, rude, not supportive and has no people skills. They constantly use weird and trivial examples to back up their claim that I lack the skills for this job… I’ve been doing the job exactly how I’ve been taught!
Unfortunately I’m not a robot and I don’t do things perfectly so she picks up on how I make typos once in a blue moon or how I don’t write emails exactly the way she would. This has been causing me to have no sleep, vomit in the mornings, not eat and basically have no energy or motivation to go out even to the shops or even shower. Just always shaky and feeling worthless like I can’t do this job or any other job.
(What’s worse is it’s a small team of 7 women all of whom like each other and don’t seem to like me - they cackle and gossip and it has an association with the girls’ at school who used to make me feel very uncomfortable …. That’s causing my anxiety to erupt too)
I want to quit but I don’t want to give notice. Been spiralling all week on how to do this. My plan was to just say I’ve had an acute breakdown (I did have one over the last month of working here) and I will be handing in my resignation and not be continuing with this job.
I have no friends/family to turn to on this so it would be helpful to get some advice from fellow redditors
Does anyone think this is a bad idea?

Maximus and Dane are good, they represent the good part of the BOS. Titus and Quintus are evil, they represent the evil in the BOS. In the fallout series we have seen really one time where a BOS chapter has had a morally "good" leader and that was Owen and Shara Lyons, but all of the other leaders have been evil when it comes to the betterment of mankind. Arthur Maxon truly only cares about one thing and that is power and if he were to be given enough power then after he destroyed the institute he would destroy goodneighbor then take resources from Dimond city and he would keep bleeding the commonwealth of its resources until he has bleed it dry. In episode 8 of the fallout tv show the BOS killed a bunch of innocents just to get the cold fusion artifact just because they wanted it for themselves. There are people who want to rebuild humanity but they often don't have just enough power to do that or they have too much infighting or a bit of both. The minutemen of fallout 4 want to rebuild but due to infighting and people just saying that they will "lead" just to get more power just for personal gain or to "sit" on it was the reason why they fell apart. I personally think that the cannon ending to fallout 4 is the minutemen ending and I also think that they destroyed Maxon's chapter of the BOS because they started to go to settlements to demand food and even to hurt people for it, doesn't that make them just glorified raiders? The NCR is good but they stretched themselves way too thin to the point where it was way too easy for spys from other organizations to cause chaos within the government as we saw in fallout new vegas. One good thing about evil factions is that they usually have flaws that can become their downfall in an instant like the Maxon's chapter of the BOS, they can be destroyed by artillery, the Institute is in one single place, if their reactor blows up the they are gone for good. With Mr.house all you need to do is to kill him the his robot army doesn't have anyone to take orders from. I would like to see a the commonwealth become a nation that is defended by the minutemen after they get fixed and I would especially like to see a commonwealth-NCR alliance. All the good guys need is the right people, planning and resources.

im going to be building my first pc and wanted some help with choosing the parts , i have a $720 budget and this is the build i've gone for
1)what are some things that i can change/replace to get a better build? the main doubt i have is for the gpu , i saw some benchmarks and concluded that 4060 is the best card for me , if anyone else has any suggestion , feel free to comment
2) will the psu hold up?
3) im new to pc building so if anyone can also help me with making sure that all the components will fit , i'd greatly appreciate it , ive made sure that the motherboard and case are both matx , but i really dont know how to check it with the gpu and psu
im sorry about the currency and that it may make it a bit hard for people to help me
the currency is inr
[PCPriceTracker Build](https://pcpricetracker.in/b/s/89d4e80a-9c17-45bb-9008-3f9be37f58e4)
CategorySelectionSourcePrice
:----:----:--------:
**Processor** [INTEL CORE I3-12100F DESKTOP PROCESSOR (12M CACHE, UP TO 4.30GHZ)](https://pcpricetracker.in/products/5ff8a0fec9097443280ecb56d399ab9e) Vedant Computers 7960
**Motherboard** [Ant Value H610MAD4-N Motherboard (Intel Socket 1700/13th and 12th Generation Core Series CPU/ Max 64GB DDR4 3200MHz Memory)](https://pcpricetracker.in/products/1c68cf4a2d2961a1381fb897e12e5b8c) MDComputers 5670
**Graphic Card** [Inno3D Rtx 4060 Twin X2 8Gb Graphics Card (N40602-08D6-173051N)](https://pcpricetracker.in/products/631c76b9ff4ef753eb8c572b08ce9004) MDComputers 29000
**Power Supply** [Ant Esports RX Series RX650 80Plus Bronze Power Supply](https://pcpricetracker.in/products/8433f9d86b6bb19e4d7057222dfb4594) Vedant Computers 3650
**Cabinet** [Ant Esports ICE-100 Air Mini Mesh (M-ATX) Mini Tower Cabinet with Tempered Glass Side Panel (White)](https://pcpricetracker.in/products/f6856bbee8cf0b35fcca1646609d621f) Vedant Computers 2950
**Memory** [G.Skill F4-3200C16S-8GIS Desktop Ram Aegis Series 8GB (8GBx1) DDR4 3200MHz Black](https://pcpricetracker.in/products/bb06c7488707caa104abd65be4cc0f28) Vedant Computers 1720
**Additional Memory** [G.Skill F4-3200C16S-8GIS Desktop Ram Aegis Series 8GB (8GBx1) DDR4 3200MHz Black](https://pcpricetracker.in/products/bb06c7488707caa104abd65be4cc0f28) Vedant Computers 1720
**Hard drive**
**SSD drive** [Western Digital Black SN770 1TB M.2 NVMe Internal SSD (WDS100T3X0E)](https://pcpricetracker.in/products/5a5b74dc9ce44d5358d2b8835bdebe81) Vedant Computers 6670
**Monitor**
**Additional Monitor**
**CPU Cooler**
**Keyboard**
**Mouse**
**Headset**
**Case Fans**
**Grand Total** **INR 59340**

Disclaimer: I am not a lawyer, and the following is not legal advice.
I see a lot of posts here trying to find works in the public domain that were not previously identified as such, often trying to parse the labyrinthine world of the last century's worth of changes to U.S. copyright law.
I've been researching, as a layperson and not a a lawyer, the public domain and how copyright law affects it for the past twenty years. One of the biggest takeaways of that time is that when it comes to the public domain and copyright, the law favors copyright. The public domain has been increasingly diminished and stripped repeatedly over the course of the past century. In very few ways does the law ever protect the public domain.
In practice this means that aside from works from 1928 and earlier (or 1923 and earlier for sound recordings), it's difficult to have confidence in determining that a work is in the public domain. Many if not most here probably know the story of "It's a Wonderful Life," of how it was assumed to be public domain for many years, released on unauthorized home video and broadcast without payment of licensing fees on many TV networks, only for a workaround to be achieved based on the short story the film was based on still being under copyright, as well as due to copyrights related to the film's soundtrack.
The end result is that you nearly always have to assume a work is copyrighted; it's the default. The laws are designed to keep as much work copyrighted for as long as possible. Large corporations with a lot of money and lobbying power have seen to this.
Trying to find and "reclaim" works for the public is very tempting. Once in a while, something seems to bear out, like the revelation that a proto-Garfield is seemingly in the public domain. There's an urge to take our collective public and pop culture back from private interests.
But the deck is stacked against us in doing this and ultimately we take risks thinking we've identified a work's public domain status and then trying to sell or adapting it into new work. It's all an uphill battle, a series of them.
Here is a thought: the energy spent on trying to find and prove the (in some cases almost impossible to prove) public domain status of individual works would be better spent trying to push for copyright law reforms in ways that actually enshrine and protect the public domain.
This could mean organizing, contacting elected officials, and bolstering one's grasp of arguments for the value of the public domain and the reform of copyright laws.
There is more awareness of the value of the public domain now than ever in the twenty years I've studied these things. It's a different world now than it was in 1998 when copyright terms were extended in the U.S. for twenty years and the public domain was frozen. So many people share media, and produce media, online, and they've gotten familiar with what a copyright strike is. It's not just something for TV stations and movie studios to think about now that so many more people are producing work online. If there's ever been a time for the public to take back the public domain, it's now. And there's a lot more to be gained than just a few obscure titles whose copyright holders might, or might not, have failed to maintain their copyright status.
Just my two cents, food for thought.

She's in her stressed-out, bratty, emotionally immature, control freak, borderline manic, takes everything out on the easiest target, and won't accept blame for her role in things phase again.
To explain I've had severe TMJ issues as of late. I'm talking went to the ER level pain. Basically I popped my jaw out of alignment on Friday of last week and then went to the ER on Saturday. I took Sunday off of work to try and recover from my dehydration and lack of nutrition plus sleep due to the issue.
On Monday I messaged my PCP to get a stronger anti-inflammatory and some advice. Then I called a chiropractor my mom's friend sees for TMJ problems and they were able to get me in the same day in the afternoon. So I had also set up a Monday appointment in the morning with my dentist on Friday. So I was booked and busy on Monday after getting no sleep Sunday night into Monday morning.
Dentist didn't go great. Basically same as ER that they didn't see anything wrong take Advil for the pain. Except she did prescribe me Medrol (steroid) for swelling and referred me to an orthodontist she knows that specializes in TMJ. So I will be seeing that orthodontist on June 10th. But like the appointment was so wasteful of my time. I was there just waiting for over an hour before actually being taken care of as a patient and then to have them basically do nothing but prescribe medication and give me a referral.
Then I went to the chiropractor who was a big help. She explained that my jaw was out of alignment as I had thought it was all along. Because my right molars touched but the left ones didn't and that wasn't normal for me. Plus the pain was comparable to the pain from the surgery I had when I was younger to get a dental bone graft for a dental implant (not enough bone density in my jaw for a dental implant or something). So it was pretty severe pain.
Basically the left side of my jaw was all jammed up and the right side had a loose ligament that was pulling the left side of my jaw to the right. Then once it got less jammed up it became apparent that the left side of my jaw was noticeably pulled down or something like that. But after the first session I was in considerably less pain. After the second session I'm tense but not in pain.
My PCP has me taking cyclobenzaprine 10mg every night for that. Then I will get Botox with my oral surgeon, who wasn't available to help me with this matter until the end of this month when my previously scheduled Botox session will happen, on May 22nd.
I can take the cyclobenzaprine during the day if the clenching/tensing gets really bad but then I can't like drive myself anywhere and I'm basically bedridden cause it makes me dizzy.
But not shockingly now that my pain is significantly better and I'm not like in significant pain if I mention to my parents that I'm in pain or go to them for comfort they dismiss me and are just hurtful about it. Like tonight I'm really tense and I can't stop clenching my teeth so I went to my mother about it because it's making it difficult for me to fall asleep. I was seeking comfort and she just blatantly dismissed me because I was inconveniencing her and it can't be that bad and she can't fix it.
I just get fed up with it. Like I'm not going to my parents for attention I'm going to them for comfort when I'm in pain. To me there is a difference. I'm also not asking them to fix my problems because obviously it isn't something they can fix themselves. I dunno this is how it has been my entire life and I'm just fed up with it.
I have spent my entire life being given the bare minimum in terms of them being emotionally available and just caring about me and providing comfort as needed. Yet they give the stupid pet dogs all the attention and comfort I want and it's just so damn annoying.
If I could move out I would but I can't afford to do so. I'm disabled and a recipient of SSDI and have limited income. That being said I still pay rent to my parents (and yes I am living in their house so it's only right that I do so) and I help out around the house as well.
I just get sick and tired of how they mistreat me sometimes and being in pain with no one to go to for comfort.

Good day everyone!
Are there any abap/api specialist out there or people with knowledge on the matter?
Thing is, gotta write a prerequistion from scratch regarding check if X value in the FI/AA doc is empty, yet encountered some minor issues on the road. Is this a right place to ask a piece of advice for regarding matter above?
Many thanks in advance.

(continuation of part 1)

III. Searching for Aerith Beyond FFVII

There were absolutely no answers in *Remake* or OG (at this point in my research, *Rebirth* wasn’t released yet), no matter how much I looked; nothing at all hinted at how Cloud could’ve obtained the memories of OG that emerge in *Remake* as MOTFs. I knew I had to look elsewhere to search for more clues, so I decided to check every piece of media ever released by SE with a mention of Cloud or Aerith in it, digging for hints in the compilation and beyond. 

And boy, did I find them.
III. a) Core Worlds and Suspension Worlds

There are a couple of general *FF* rules that we need to establish before going forward. 

It’s important to note that there are multiple realms in which the FF stories take place, each with a different name, history and society. This ensures that all FF stories occur separately, never intercepting or interacting— though they do have creatures like moogles and chocobos in common, as well as concepts like airships, gil, magic and some form of crystal. For simplicity, I will refer to these separate worlds in which the numbered FF games (FFI, FFII, FFIII, etc) occur as “core worlds”.

Characters from different core worlds may appear together in non-numbered *FF* games, the events of which have no impact on the core world at all: it seems that sometime after a *FF* character has reached the end of their core world’s plot-line, they may somehow be summoned to far-removed realms where they will face new adventures. I call these far-removed realms “suspension worlds”. One example of a *FF* game that takes place in a suspension world is *Dissidia Final Fantasy*, wherein characters from multiple core worlds unite to accomplish a mission as a team. 

III. b) Final Fantasy Tactics

First on our list of non-compilation SE games to explore is 1997’s *Final Fantasy Tactics* (*FFT*), a game whose plot takes place in the suspension world of Ivalice. Let’s plot out the relevant events, and then analyze! 

III. b) i. Fact-Finding

The main character of *FFT*, Ramza, encounters a brunette flower peddler with Aerith’s iconic, gravity-defying bangs: 

\"Aeris\" in FFT's Ivalice
If you choose to buy a flower from her, she express her relief: apparently, business isn’t going well because no one is interested in flowers. The girl wistfully dreams aloud:

“When is my knight in shining armor going to take me away from here...?”

Later, Ramza and his companions encounter a mysterious machine that can summon people from across universes. The machine is activated, and a rather rude young man with spiky blonde hair appears. Cloud claims he used to be in SOLDIER, and says the last thing he remembers is “getting stuck in the current”. He looks to be disoriented and lost, and suffers from piercing headaches. Mere moments after being summoned to Ivalice, Cloud rambles: 

“What’s this? My fingers are tingling… My eyes… they’re burning… Stop… stop it [Se]phiroth…”

He dashes out of the room, but not without announcing:

“I must go… must go to that place…”

Outside, Cloud encounters the brunette flower girl Ramza met earlier. She offers Cloud a flower, but he only stares at her wordlessly: 

“Flower girl: Buy a flower? Only 1 gil.
Cloud: …
Flower girl: Something wrong? Do I resemble someone?”
Cloud: No… it’s nothing.”

As soon as Cloud leaves, a gang of ruffians surround the flower girl and start harassing her, demanding payment that’s apparently overdue. One of them finally calls her by her name: “Aeris”. He grabs her, insinuating that he might sexually assault her in lieu of payment. Aeris is not strong enough to push him away. That’s when Cloud returns:

“Cloud: Get your hand off her!
Thug: What did you say!?
Cloud: Didn't you hear me? Get your dirty hand off her!
[…]
Cloud, to Aeris: Go… now.”

Aeris heeds Cloud’s advice, fleeing the scene before a fight between Cloud and the thug can break out. After Cloud scares the ruffians off with the help of Ramza and his companions, he speaks once more:

“I lost… something very important… Ever since, I’ve been lost […]. What should I do? What about this pain [?] Must go… to the Promised Land.”

III. b) ii. Fact Analysis

There’s a lot to unpack here, all of which you probably clocked in your head upon reading, but let’s put it down in writing. While *FFT* Cloud’s memory is far from perfect, the Aeris he encounters in Ivalice doesn’t recognize him at all. *FFVII Ultimania Omega* addresses this question without answering it: 

“[The flower seller’s] name is Aeris, and she has the same appearance and tone of voice as the Aeris of FFVII. However, when she comes across Cloud, she does not recognize him. Could she really be the same Aerith who appears in FFVII but with memory loss, or is she a completely different character?” (“#4 Proof of Omega”, “FFVII in Other Games”, “Final Fantasy Tactics”, page 560).

Regardless of her unknown identity and inability to recognize Cloud, FFT Aeris’ fantasy of a “knight in shining armor” is quite reminiscent of the flower girl/bodyguard dynamic we’ve come to know and love. Cloud’s armor doesn’t shine, but in my opinion, if you’re looking for the dystopian, corporatocratic equivalent of a knight, you can’t get much closer than a supposed-former-SOLDIER-turned-bodyguard. Additionally, despite his rude and cold attitude toward Ramza’s gang, the urgency with which Cloud swoops in to save the flower girl from the ruffians betrays a softer, warmer side to him: the flower girl/bodyguard dynamic strikes again!

*FFT* Cloud’s dialogue borrows two lines from the speech OG Cloud makes as Aerith lies dead in his arms (disk 1, chapter 28): “My fingers are tingling. My mouth is dry. My eyes are burning!” and “What are we supposed to do? What about my pain?” You might’ve noticed that this glimpse of grief Cloud experiences in *FFT* bears a resemblance to the fourth MOTF 4 experienced by *Remake* Cloud (see section “II. a)”). Could it be that *FFT* Cloud and *Remake* Cloud have something in common? Shortly after being summoned to Ivalice, *FFT* Cloud declares that he must go to “that place”, a mysterious line that is later elucidated when he tells Ramza that he must go to the Promised Land and find the “very important” thing he’s lost. The Promised Land is the Cetra culture’s afterlife, meaning *FFT* Cloud is looking for someone who’s died, someone “very important” to him. OG suggests this is none other than Aerith: 

“Cait Sith, reading Cloud’s fortune: You will find [what] you pursue. However, you will lose the most precious thing” (disk 1, chapter 16, English translation by Kotaku’s “Let’s Mosey: A Slow Translation of Final Fantasy Seven: Part Eight” by Tim Rogers, 9:42-9:52).
“Cloud, after seeing Aerith’s hand reach for him through the Lifestream: … I think I'm beginning to understand.
Tifa: What?
Cloud: An answer from the Planet… the Promised Land... I think I can meet her... there” (disk 3, chapter 3).

Finally, let’s try to understand where on the OG timeline Cloud was summoned to this suspension world from and what he remembers. His comment about getting stuck in a current has to be about the Lifestream; apparently, on top of its atemporal nature, it can act as a conduit to other worlds. One only enters the Lifestream if they’ve somehow fallen into the core of the planet or once they’ve passed away and returned to the planet. Both scenarios merit consideration. 

On the one hand, it’s possible that Cloud was summoned to Ivalice after he and Tifa fall into the core of the planet: this point in the FFVII OG timeline occurs after Aerith’s death and shortly before Cloud finds out he was never SOLDIER, which matches the gaps in FFT Cloud’s memory quite well. However, this scenario does not account for the vagueness with which FFT Cloud remembers Aerith and her death. Most importantly, Cloud’s realization that he can find Aerith in the Promised Land occurs much later in the game (FFVII OG, disk 3, chapter 3) than when he falls into the Lifestream with Tifa (FFVII OG, disk 2, chapter 8).
On the other hand, FFT Cloud’s vague yet persistent memories of Aerith suggest that he’s been summoned to Ivalice after his eventual death post-OG, but also that he’s lost quite a large portion of his memories. His incomplete memory loss is likely the result of Cloud’s individuality’s erosion by the Lifestream after death, which we discussed in section “II. a) ii.”. We can therefore surmise that by the time he is summoned to Ivalice from the Lifestream, Cloud has been dead for long enough that the Lifestream eroded a large portion of the memories of his lifetime. This post-death scenario is likelier than the first. The memory of Cloud’s realization that he was never SOLDIER must be gone, which explains why he claims otherwise upon being summoned to Ivalice. Contrastingly, vestiges of Cloud’s OG memories of Aerith cling to his soul, even after others have been wiped clean. Could this be a consequence of their soulmate bond? Could the strength of Cloud’s love and grief for Aerith have made his memories of her stronger and more difficult for the Lifestream to erode? Could it be both?

One thing is clear: Aerith is of fundamental importance to Cloud, even when he can’t quite remember her. In fact, the only other character he remembers and/or mentions in *FTT* is Sephiroth. It does make sense that the memories of those who have marked one’s soul forevermore would be the most difficult for the Lifestream to erode. 

III. c) Dissidia Final Fantasy
The next stop on our travels through suspension worlds is 2008’s Dissidia Final Fantasy! Now strap in, because here’s where things get really serious.
III. c) i. Fact Finding

In the suspension world of *Dissidia Final Fantasy* (*DFF*), the goddess of harmony Cosmos and the god of discord Chaos are engaged in a never-ending cycle of conflict. Both deities need warriors to fight on their behalf, so they recruit core world characters into their respective teams by summoning them to *DFF*. Some of these summoned characters are *FFIV*’s Cecil, *FFVI*’s Terra, *FFVII*’s Sephiroth, *FFX*’s Tidus, and of course, *FFVII*’s Cloud. The warriors find themselves in the suspension world of *DFF* with no memories of their core worlds’ plotlines. However, as the *DFF* adventure progresses, they are able to recover pieces of their memories here and there. It isn’t clear how much they come to remember. Ultimately, the warriors hope to return home to their core worlds by fighting in this war and seeing to its end. Cloud is summoned to *DFF* as a warrior on the side of Chaos, who seeks to destroy all existence. Sephiroth is also on Chaos’ side, meaning the two are teammates despite being enemies in their core world of *FFVII*. It just so happens that Tifa is a summoned warrior in *DFF* too, though she’s fighting on Cosmos’ side. Intrigued by her vague familiarity, Sephiroth hypothesizes that killing Tifa will bring back his memories of OG’s plot line: before long, the masamune wielder finds Tifa alone and corners her into a one-on-one fight. Thankfully, Cloud swoops in and saves her before Sephiroth can do any harm. Tifa is thankful for Cloud’s help, though confused that Cloud would elect to assist her and turn against a fellow warrior of Chaos; she doesn’t remember what Sephiroth and Cloud mean to each other in OG. In fact, Tifa doesn’t even remember Cloud’s name or that they share a core world, though Cloud feels somewhat familiar to her. For his part, Cloud at least remembers that Tifa is someone he cares about from his core world. As Tifa thanks Cloud for saving her from Sephiroth, something she says elicits an odd reaction from the warrior of Chaos: 

“Tifa: The way you showed up and fought that guy off. It was a pretty cool thing to watch. You were like a hero, charging in to save the girl.
Cloud gasps at her words. She doesn’t notice” (Dissidia 012: Treachery of the Gods, report 5: “Unexpected Fulfillment 2”).

On another note, Cloud knows he will have to fight Tifa once the Cosmos-Chaos conflict comes to a head, as they are on opposing teams. He thinks to himself:

“Once [her] memories return, [she]’ll lose the will to fight just like I have. So... Before that can happen, I have to act...” (Dissidia 012: Treachery of the Gods, report 5: “Unexpected Fulfillment 2”).

In order to end the cycle of the conflict and to avoid fighting Tifa, Cloud decides to try and defeat Chaos himself. Predictably, Cloud is no match for the deity. As he dies, Cloud pleads the following to the goddess Cosmos:

“Cosmos, goddess of harmony. If you can hear me, listen to my plea. I beg you. Save her. Save my friend… Tifa.”

Cosmos hears him and responds immediately:

“Cosmos: An end to this conflict, and a life spared? This is your heart's desire? If your will remains unchanged, I shall bring you here when the battle draws to a close. Cloud. My chosen" (Dissidia 0.13: Treachery of the Gods, report 7: “Unexpected Fulfillment 3”).

Cloud’s wish is granted by Cosmos: the first phase of the conflict ends without Tifa getting hurt, and she is sent away from the suspension world of DFF before the second phase begins. Cloud is saved from death, and Cosmos enlists him into her team of warriors for phase two: this time, Cloud is fighting on the good side.

Now we enter phase two of the war. Cosmos tells her team of ten core world warriors that in order to save the world from Chaos’ destruction, they must collect what she describes as crystals containing the power to persist through darkness. I call these the “*DFF* crystals”. There are ten *DFF* crystals in total: one for every warrior on Cosmos’ group to find. To obtain their crystal, each hero must overcome a trial that will confront them with whatever personal struggle they faced in their core world; if they prove themselves worthy, their *DFF* crystal will appear to them. On one hand, some warriors’ *DFF* crystals simply take the form the crystals found in their core world. For example, Onion Knight’s *DFF* crystal looks to be nothing more than one of *FFIII*’s elemental crystals, which hold little to no personal significance to him. On the other hand, some warriors’ *DFF* crystals symbolize something more personal to their respective warriors. For instance, Cecil’s *DFF* crystal looks to be one of *FFIV*’s dark crystals, which specifically represent the dichotomy of light and darkness he struggles with in his core world’s plot-line. Cosmos describes the quest for the *DFF* crystals as follows: 

“Cosmos: The crystals embody the strength to face despair. With ten gathered, there is hope yet to save the world. The path to your crystal will be perilous... and different for each and every one of you. But you must believe in and follow your own path. Even if you know not where that path leads" (Dissidia 013: Light to All, prologue: “A Final Hope”).

From this exposition, simply keep in mind that: Cloud must find his crystal by overcoming a personal trial, and his crystal may have the appearance of an object in OG that’s important to him. Once the team is debriefed on their mission, Cloud remains reticent to fight; he doesn’t much like the mysterious nature of this conflict. Not knowing exactly what they’re all fighting for is clearly bothersome to the swordsman, and the idea of thoughtlessly engaging in battles leaves a bad taste in his mouth. Fellow warrior Firion understands that without a reason to fight, Cloud’s heart just isn’t in it. He imparts upon Cloud that he must have a dream he’s fighting to protect, something he wants to see come true, to motivate him to stop Chaos from destroying all existence. Unfortunately, Cloud doesn’t have a dream to preserve, or can’t find one for himself: 

“Cloud: I've looked, but I'm still empty-handed. And without a dream, what do you suppose I should do? […] Maybe what I'm looking for... isn't here” (Dissidia 0.13: Light to All, chapter 1: “Beyond Doubt”, “Gateway of Good and Evil”).

Another fellow warrior, Cecil, expresses worry for Cloud, whose response evokes the main theme of FFVII OG:

“Cecil: Everyone's worried, Cloud. But... Do you shoulder a larger concern?
Cloud: Concern... Maybe a sense of loss" (Dissidia 0.13: Light to All, chapter 1: “Beyond Doubt”, “Beyond the Continent”).

Whatever Cloud is looking for “isn’t [there]”, and he feels “a sense of loss”: Cloud’s motivating dream has been lost to him. This is later reasserted in a conversation with Terra, another warrior of Cosmos:

“Terra: And you, Cloud... What's your dream?
Cloud: I've lost mine" (Dissidia 0.13: Light to All, chapter 3: “The Chosen Battle”, “Gateway of True Intent”).

Later, Cloud encounters and fights Sephiroth, who is still a part of Chaos’ team. Sephiroth is defeated, but not before he’s taunted Cloud with his habitual puppet talk. However, Cloud remains strong and refutes Sephiroth’s manipulation, asserting that only he can determine his own path. This must’ve been Cloud’s personal trial, because his crystal appears at that very moment: it is a small, light green orb that looks like materia from his core world. Having pocketed his crystal, Cloud decides he must find his own reason to fight. Interestingly, his search is depicted as intertwined with Fate: 

“Cloud: Even if I have my doubts... I have to find my own answer […] Until then, I'll keep fighting.
Narration: The warrior has vowed to keep fighting— and keep fighting he will […]. Etched in destiny, his quest for answers continues on” (Dissidia 0.13: Light to All, chapter 1: “Beyond Doubt”, “Gulg Gateway”).

Later, the nemeses meet again in a segment called “Recurring Tragedy”. Their interactions here are particularly interesting. Sephiroth speaks of making Cloud suffer through despair and pain as though referencing their history together: 

"Sephiroth: This disease called hope is eating you alive. The world of suffering was born out of such half-baked ideals.
Cloud: If that's the case, I have to endure the suffering. There's no moving on if I run from it.
Sephiroth: If that is what you wish for, you shall drown in the pain. I'll lead you to true despair. [My] shadow is burned into your heart. We'll meet again, Cloud. I'll keep coming back— as long as you are who you are."
Sephiroth disappears. Cloud looks out into the distance before the scene ends.
“Cloud: No thanks. The one I really want to meet is…” (Dissidia 013: Light to All, epilogue: “Conclusion of a Cycle”, “Recurring Tragedy”).

This final line suggests Cloud has finally found a reason to fight: he wants to meet someone unspecified.

Finally, after the war has ended, we arrive at the final cutscene of *DFF*. I will let you read the full script, with notes added by me **in bold** behind the spoiler censors. Please do not read my notes if you do not wish to encounter spoilers for *FFI*, *FFII, FFIII, FFIV, FFV, FFVI, FFVIII, FFIX or FFX*: 

“[The] heroes are all standing together in a grassy field with a forest behind them. Birds are chirping, the sun is shining brightly, and the wind is blowing gently. The heroes look around them in awe. They're all holding their crystals.
WoL: The battle has come to an end...
Tidus notices that his crystal has begun to emanate a blue glow.>! His crystal is a movie sphere from his core world of FFX: a capsule containing sounds and images that people record for later viewing. Tidus’ crystal likely represents the specific movie sphere recorded by his love interest Yuna, which revealed that she’d loved him from the beginning.!<
Tidus: Gotta go, huh...
The blue glow transfers to him as well. He turns to look at the others
[…] Tidus grins at the others, then turns and runs toward a nearby lake. He leaps into it in a manner reminiscent of [the events] of FFX. He vanishes as he descends toward the lake.
Zidane: We're not vanishing. We're returning—
Zidane is sitting on a tree limb as he says this. His crystal begins to glow gold, as does he. His crystal is shaped like a highly important ‘progenitor of all life’ crystal from his core world of FFIX.
Zidane: — to where we're supposed to be.
Zidane spins around the tree limb with the use of his tail and launches toward the sun. He's lost to view.
A white feather then drifts down from that direction and Squall catches it. The feather is reminiscent of his love Rinoa Heartilly, whose character symbol is a white feather. In fact, Squall’s crystal looks like a mix of his revolver gunblade from FFVIII and Rinoa’s feather motif. [Squall glows blue.]
Squall: Perhaps we can go on a mission together again.
Squall vanishes.
Cloud is then visible, standing in [a] flower field. The flowers are white and yellow. Cloud has his crystal, a light green materia from his core world of FFVII, in hand.
Cloud: [(Chuckles shortly, like a scoff)] Not interested.
Cloud walks off into the flower field, gaining a green glow. He vanishes.
A snowflake then falls into Terra's right hand as her crystal begins to glow pink. The flames drawn on her crystal represent her power, which is connected to the element of fire: her character arc in FFVI.
Terra: I think I've learned how to keep going. Thank you— and take care.
Terra glows pink and then vanishes. Bartz throws a stick. He's glowing pink as well.
Bartz: When you're having the most fun, that's when time always flies. His crystal is the Adamantite from his core world of FFV.
Bartz vanishes.
Cecil: It's mine to pass on—
A moon appears behind Cecil and goes through its phases as he begins to glow blue. His crystal has shadowed and illuminated parts, representing the duality of his character, which is central to his personal arc in his core world of FFIV. It also represents his brother Golbez, who has chosen the darkness. Cecil considers his familial bond with Golbez his guiding light and hopes to be with him someday.
Cecil: — this strength I've gained from everyone.
Cecil vanishes.
Onion Knight hugs his crystal and looks up toward the sky. His crystal is shaped like those found in his core world of FFIII.
Onion Knight: Everyone... thank you!
OK briefly glows blue and then vanishes.
There are wild roses at Firion's feet. He and WoL are looking toward the sky. WoL suddenly begins walking away while Firion looks down and sees the roses.
Firion: This isn't the end. Another dream is waiting to begin.
His crystal is the color of the wild roses that were at the center of his dream and of his motivation to fight Chaos. The roses are also the emblem of the Rebel Army he was a part of in his core world of FFII. His crystal is shaped like Pandaemonium, the final dungeon of his core world story. Firion gains a violet glow and then vanishes.
WoL is walking through the field and then comes to a stop. He's looking at something.
WoL: May the light forever shine upon us.”

As you can see, everyone’s crystal is very important to the story of their core world, and in the cases of at least Tidus, Squall, Terra and Cecil, the crystals represent something very personal. What about Cloud and his crystal, then? What about the dream he lost and the person he wants to meet? Let’s begin analyzing to answer these questions.
III. c) ii. Fact Analysis

Firstly, it’s clear to me that the Cloud that appears in *DFF* is a post-OG Cloud, given how many plot points from OG he interacts with. I’m reticent to say whether or not this post-OG Cloud is dead like in *FFT*, as he recovers many of his memories of OG during *DFF* and there is no evidence of him having passed away and joined the Lifestream. The second thing I’d like to point out is Cloud’s strange reaction when Tifa compared him to a hero who swoops in and saves the girl from the bad guy. Cloud gasps, indicating that her words mean something to him; the trope Tifa references must therefore be included somewhere in the *FFVII* OG plot-line. Some of you are surely ahead of me by now, having realized that only the tragic antithesis of this trope appears in OG: Cloud is unable to save Aerith from Sephiroth (disk 1, chapter 28). Whether or not *DFF* Cloud remembers Aerith herself at this point, it’s clear he recalls the pain and guilt of losing Aerith to Sephiroth. Next, let’s address Cloud’s lost dream: to meet an unspecified person. It seems Cloud is aware at this point that in OG, he was eternally separated from the person he dreams of meeting. So, who was he separated from in his core world? Who can he never meet again, even if his team of warriors defeat Chaos and Cloud returns to the realm of *FFVII*? There are a few options —his mother, his father, Zack, Jessie, Biggs, Wedge, and any other person he knew who died—, but the sheer narrative weight that Aerith’s untimely death carries makes it clear who he truly wants to meet. This is corroborated by Cloud’s “I think I can meet her… there” line in OG (disk 3 chapter 3), by *FFT* Cloud’s search for Aerith during his appearance in Ivalice, and by Cloud’s strange reaction to Tifa’s comparing him to a hero who swoops in and saves the girl from the bad guy. All the available evidence suggests that Cloud’s dream is indeed to reunite with Aerith, and that this dream is “lost” to him because she was killed by Sephiroth (disk 1, chapter 28). This would also explain the title of the *DFF* segment “Recurring Tragedy”, since as we all know, the ultimate tragedy of *FFVII* OG is Aerith’s death. Considering Sephiroth was the one to take Aerith away from Cloud, Sephiroth’s threats of drowning him in despair in “Recurring Tragedy” only solidify this interpretation of Cloud’s lost dream. Finally, we arrive at the ending cutscene. Cosmos’ warriors return to where they belong to try and accomplish whatever dream they held as motivation during the Cosmos-Chaos conflict, each carrying their *DFF* crystal. Cloud is shown standing in a field of white and yellow flowers and walking deeper into it with a light green materia in hand. Why was a white and yellow flower field chosen to represent *DFF* Cloud’s dream? The answer is obvious. White and yellow flowers symbolize Aerith: she sold Cloud a yellow blossom upon first meeting him in OG (disk 1, chapter 1), and her yellow and white flowerbed cushioned Cloud’s fall when the two reunited in the Sector 5 church (disk 1, chapter 4). What’s more, we have the [iconic credits video of the original cut of *Advent Children*](https://youtu.be/PqJ8Y8Nd9KE?si=O_QolO-iNsDmZWR6) to refer to, wherein Cloud is seen driving near flower fields. Aerith stands there (3:20), seemingly waiting for him. Here’s what Nomura had to say about this credits scene: 

"[...] we filmed the video for the ending credits in Hawaii. There are fields of flowers on both sides of the road, and the colors —yellow and white— are the same as the flowers in Aerith's church […]. With Aerith, 'flowers' have been her image throughout the series” (FFVII Reunion Files, “Countdown to Reunion”, “Stories from CG Production”, page 87).

Even in the Advent Children Complete cut of the film, where Aerith is not shown standing in the field, the flowers and their symbolism of Aerith remain. That being so, it’s more than fair to say that the white and yellow flowers in DFF’s ending cutscene serve as yet another confirmation that Cloud’s dream is to be with Aerith.

With all of this established, we can address the nature of Cloud’s *DFF* crystal. As we established, every core world has its own version of a crystal, each possessing a distinct appearance, function and meaning. Materia are the crystals of *FFVII*, so one could be satisfied by the proposition that Cloud’s *DFF* crystal is simply meant to represent a random materia. However, I think Cloud’s crystal is specifically the White Materia, as it represents Aerith’s sacrifice, her importance to the plot and what she died fighting for. If any one object symbolizes her death, it’s the White Materia; it’s even given closeups during the [event](https://youtu.be/Wx3duFYCcho?si=Zg332l6dMLwpZMF2&t=150) (2:33-3:02). Besides, unlike any other materia in *FFVII*, the White Materia is known to glow a light green when Holy has been activated: 

“Bugenhagen: If [the prayer] reaches the planet, the White Materia will begin to glow a pale green” (FFVII OG, disk 2, chapter 15).

Here are pictures of the materia so you can compare for yourself:
Cloud's DFF Crystal
Cloud’s DFF crystal

So far, in both suspension world games we’ve examined (*FFT* and *DFF*), Cloud is searching for Aerith. As a final note on *DFF*, it may interest you to know that codirector of the *Remake* trilogy Toriyama was actually a writer for *DFF*: he may have carried some themes from *DFF* to *Remake*… 

III. d) Detour: The Final Fantasy 30th Anniversary Farewell Exposition

Before we hop onto the next suspension world, let’s return to ours for a quick detour: the 2018 *Final Fantasy* 30th Anniversary Expo. Themed with farewells and tragedy, this expo showcased the heartbreaking goodbyes featured in different *FF* games. Artwork, clips, quotes and images aplenty here! As the highly anticipated *Remake* was going to be coming out approximately a year and a half later, the *FFVII* section of the expo featured a few sneak peek *Remake* designs. This means the expo was at least partly curated with the *Remake* trilogy in mind; there could be interesting material in the *FFVII* section of the expo related to *Remake*. Let’s dive in! Unsurprisingly, the focus of the *FFVII* section is Cloud and Aerith, since she is the loved one he lost in OG. Zack is also given a mention, however Aerith was the glaringly central star of the show. To showcase how important Aerith’s farewell in particular was to the expo, the *FFVII* portion was introduced by a photo of Cloud lowering Aerith into her watery grave and a video of her tragic death: 

Final Fantasy 30th Anniversary Farewell Exposition, FFVII Introduction
The description under the video screen reads:

“She was gone in the blink of an eye. But the pain never went away.
Aerith awoke the ultimate magic to protect the planet and the people she loved. Yet her life came to a sudden end at the hands of Sephiroth, a man bent on seeing the world destroyed. Even the usually stoic Cloud couldn’t hide his grief at the unexpected death of an irreplaceable companion. ‘My fingers are tingling. My mouth is dry. My eyes are burning.’ True words, revealing Cloud’s deep sorrow” (Final Fantasy 30th Anniversary Exposition).

Conveniently enough for us, the expo’s tagline is “Who is the person you want to meet again?” Given that Aerith holds the spotlight in the FFVII section of the expo, it’s clear who SE is telling us Cloud wants to reunite with. Recall Cloud’s unfinished line in DFF: “The one I really want to meet is..." (Dissidia 013: Light to All, epilogue: “Conclusion of a Cycle”, “Recurring Tragedy”). We theorized that he must be referring to Aerith, and now, we are certain.

The expo also had pamphlet descriptions of the farewells depicted. Here is the general summary of *FFVII*‘s farewell story according to that pamphlet: 

“The story follows the lead character Cloud, but it is the heroine, Aerith, who opens Cloud’s eyes and helps bring him closer to understanding the mystery that is his past. Through her, we draw closer to the truth of the story.
This scene, in which the heroine Aerith is lost, is easily the most shocking and tragic in the story. No one expected to say goodbye to such a major character in the middle of the story. Rumors of a secret way to revive Aerith spread, and it was clear players were having a hard time saying goodbye to her too. Even now, twenty years later, it still feels like a shocking turn of events” (Final Fantasy 30th Anniversary Exposition Pamphlet, page 36).

It’s interesting that SE would mention the rumors of Aerith’s revival circulated by players back in 1997, especially as fans were awaiting Remake’s release…

In light of everything we’ve analyzed so far, it can be said that between *FFT* (1997) and this farewell expo (2018), SE has consistently demonstrated that reuniting with Aerith is post-OG Cloud’s goal. That’s a period of over two decades— two decades of wishing, seeking, longing in real-world time for this character. This is a huge long-term commitment for SE to make, and you can bet the devs don’t take it lightly. Again and again, once the events of the OG game have ended, Cloud is shown to desire a reunion with Aerith. This ever-present and ever-insistent theme will become very important to us later in this post. 

Sorry for the long text I feel it needs to be explained.
So for context there’s this one girl, we’ll call her E and she was my first real love. She was always so bubbly and had a fun personality that I liked. I was the only boy to openly have a crush on her and she flirted with me (or so I thought) quite a bit. When I confessed near the end of the school year she made a whole paragraph about how she was sorry and that she only saw me as a friend. It hurt a lot but I responded saying I understood. We stayed friends for the last week and we continued our friendship in the summer over Snapchat. During the Snapchat phase she was flirting with me a lot and I really thought I still had a chance. At this point I had dug myself a grave and was ready to do anything for her. Then her responses got dry. I asked her about it and she denied it. She promptly unadded me a few days later. At this point I’m heartbroken so I add her again and she says “why did you add me” to which I responded “why did you remove me?” She responded “because I remove people I don’t talk to” Complete lie because her snapscore went up by at least 1000 everyday. She blocked me and then her friend starts a texting me telling me to leave her alone and she doesn’t like you and that she’s talking to someone else. It felt like I got stabbed in the heart but I held strong and just asked her to tell E I was sorry.
Queue a summer of being depressed a countless hours of crying and wondering why I was thrown to the side like an old batted up kids toy when all I did was compliment her and show her kindness and respect.
2 girlfriends and 2 heartbreaks later I now date my now girlfriend. She is so sweet and she is so damn cute. I would literally do zero things to hurt her and she’s made my life so much better.
After my second breakup with my second girlfriend which hurt the hardest I started to get really sad and I started thinking back to E. I honestly don’t know what about E made me think she was so perfect but to me she was everything. I hate to say it but I miss her and our friendship. She was honestly such a good friend and such a good person to lean on but I honestly couldn’t take her back even if she asked. I would honestly really appreciate closure that she is or isn’t thinking about her from time to time because what we had I thought was special but I don’t wanna reopen wounds that are so close to being healed, not to mention the fact that she’s dating someone that I know and consider a friend, even if we don’t talk very much.
Is it wrong to miss her? I have so many memories with her and we even went to a summer camp for a school trip. I think it’s also worth mentioning we don’t go to the same a school anymore.

So i have a load of the symptoms of it and i told my mam that i couldn’t concentrate and found out my eyesight was fucked when looking at things far away and that was grand then. And then even after that i was still losing concentration and it weren’t the same as it was last time. I can’t focus on anything at all i just get distracted each and every time even when i take away said distractions. I’m 15 and I’ve got my JC coming up soon and i’m scared shitless. I signed up for a study club and it not working people just talk and talk and it makes it even harder to concentrate. I also always fidget with my hands and hair and i can never sit still at all and i can’t even relax ffs these symptoms are only since maybe january of last year and i just need help on this topic.
i’m sorry if this was a bit of a rant i just needed to get it off my chest