Original Article Can Be Found Here
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I received an email from Snapchat that my password has been changed and it logged me out of the account but I managed to get it back and added a 2fa for more security. But in the email it didn’t provide the IP address of the person who changed it, and I requested my data to find any strange IP addresses but couldn’t find any that were not mine, but the password change timestamp was logged in my data. What does this mean? Was I hacked? Wouldn’t a hacker change the email or phone number or whatever to keep the account, yet I managed to change back the password and retrieve my account 9 mins later

My ex 36M threatened to call police on me 29/F several times when I confront him about a specific girl he’s talking to. Is this abusive ? long story short I caught him talking to another female. We have strict boundaries about female friendships. He has the same boundaries for me but with males. This includes texting/phone calls. A girl ended up calling his cell phone while I was with him one day and I accidentally answered the phone while saying who is that so I’m not sure if the other person hung up. When I questioned him he let me call her back from his phone right away. But the girl did not answer. He told me it was a friend from a long time ago. A few other times I pressed him for answers as I couldn’t let it go. I never raise my voice, never yell, no verbal abuse. I just ask over and over who she was. Each time he tells me he cannot talk about it and threatened to call the police on me if I do not drop the subject. Is this abusive ?
Eventually he admitted to me he liked the validation it gave him knowing someone was interested in him because he feels insecure. And she called him more than one time. So to me, this feels as if it was cheating even if they never met up. So we ended up breaking up.
But my question is about the threatening to call the police on someone in order to silence them? Even though I am non-threatening. We never verbally abused each other, call one another names, no physical violence.
I will note there was a similar situation over 1 year ago. When we first started dating. The boundaries were a bit blurred about what exclusivity meant at the time. I found out he went to dinner with another girl then too. When I questioned him about it he said he didn’t want to talk about it. I kept asking over and over and over. Never yelling never aggressive. Probably just irritating. And he bluffed by actually dialing the police departments number. That was a long time ago. So I thought we moved past it. I was so wrong.
EDIT: since I cannot comment. He did technically threaten to hit me when I didn’t leave the subject alone so I did stop. I didn’t actually feel threatened so I don’t find it necessary to get authorities involved. That was only one time when he said that to me. Technically, isn’t that considered a threat? Since we are going by “legal matters” in the comments … I would personally never get police involved unless I indeed felt physically threatened. Also went through my phone without my permission and shared my location with himself. I’m sure there is something “in the law” about that too. I personally would never seek legal action against someone that did that though.
TDLR: is it abusive to threaten to call police on someone to get them to stop asking questions. And if they threaten to hit you to stop talking even if you do not feel scared.

TL;DR at the bottom
Met at a party 2 months ago, spoke for 7 hours, fell asleep together, when we made out he *trembled* severely(he was the one who very nervously initiated the first kiss, with a shaky voice). He said he was very intimidated by me (I've been recruited by modeling scouts, and go to an Ivy league school w/ a STEM major, about to go to med school), he got my number the next day and we were texting non stop.
He told me multiple times that he’s very insecure, has a big fragile ego, didn’t get girls until he was 17, has body dysmorphia and feels fat, that he was "fugly" until last year only got hot a year ago (he is very attractive now and in great shape), bad fear of rejection (told me he never would have made the first move with me), got dumped by his first girlfriend last year and was heartbroken, had a rebound last summer, walked around without a shirt on last summer just so he could get stared at (clearly has a lot of issues). He said he was depressed most of last summer bc he thought he no longer had a positive impact on people's lives and said it's important to him to feel like he brightens the day of everyone who crosses his path.
A few days after we met, he reached out to me from the hospital after being in a bad accident and being severely injured (went on his mom's phone to DM his friend to have him DM my friend so she can text me and let me know he was hospitalized and not ghosting me) (just to give you an idea of how much he was into me) just so I didn't think I was being ghosted. He was asking the nurses for me bc he thought I worked in the hospital. A mutual friend was there and he said this guy just kept repeating "I have a date with a 24 y/o med student". He was concussed and had a fractured spine.
Five days after we met he said "tell me what I need to do to make you happy, it's the entire job description" (implying he'd be my boyfriend). When I asked why he was trembling the second time we made out he said "I'm nervous and I don't know what you like".
The next day he came to a pregame at his friends' place for a party that he wasn't invited to (but he had my name put on the list) just so he could walk me to the party. Initially, he was shy and avoiding eye contact, and was talking to my friend instead of me (she told me later that he was looking at me when I wasn't looking). He introduced me to a bunch of his friends. I had to be the one who initiated hand holding and kisses, and he eventually warmed up a lot more and got comfortable. On the walk to the party he was bragging to his friend about me going to an Ivy and going to med school and sounded SO genuinely excited about it, like he was pumping his fist, almost giggling about it, and there as a skip in his step (like he seemed in awe of this).
Next day, after the sex after the first date, he said "you're so fucking hot and I just want to do a good job". Next day he texted me and said the date was "AMAZING" and "I hope you had anywhere as much fun as I did"
He said "I'm supposed to be good at this" when he couldn't get me off during the second time we had sex (after the second date), but I did a bad job as well (had an anxiety attack) and did not match his rhythm when I was on top (I was counter thrusting, we had to pause and restart a few times, but he still got off within a couple minutes, I didn't) I was quiet too (mentally checked out from the anxiety attack) and he nervously said "why are you being so quiet"?, I moved my hands awkwardly, and he asked "what are you doing?" twice lol
However, before the sex and on the way home from the second date, He was holding my hand, playing his favorite music for me on the ride back to his place, laughing and calling me so cute when I was hiccuping right before the sex. We had that awkward sex (he slipped out twice, couldn’t find the cl**, he got off, I didn't, he said "I had fun" right after, I said nothing (or might've said "uhuh"), he got very quiet (he hates silence and normally never shuts up, complete yapper), avoided eye contact with me next morning, looked taken aback/uncomfortable when I kissed him goodbye. Was not nearly as affectionate overnight as he was after the first time we had sex. All he said the next morning was "do you have your earrings".
I will say on the second date (this was in the midst of finals), he did seem more intent on sex and focused on making out with me/having sex with me and was different from the first date (trying to get to know me more). He made a lot of effort to keep in touch with me and was highly engaged and enthusiastic in text between date 1 and 2 during a very stressful time for him finals (texted me from therapy). Over text over the past weeks he was making a lot of effort to get to know me and to keep the convo going.
Next day he texted me thanking me for the night before and said he had a lot of fun, but from then on, his texts were not at all as engaging as they used to be. He used to put a lot of effort into keeping the convo going, but he stopped doing that, was just replying to my texts. He did tell me on the second date that when he loses interest in someone he will respond politely but not ghost and not initiate any texts, which is what he started doing after that night, but he was oscillating between being engaged and withdrawn over text too.
He texted "Hopefully I'll see you some other time" after I cancelled our previously scheduled third date/party invite (for a legit reason and he knew that too) and I just hearted it but did not respond to it and asked when I could drop off his sunglasses. From then on, mixed signals and delayed responses from both sides. I did text him a week later explaining I had an anxiety attack that night and to apologize for being checked out that night, but he already pulled away by then and his tone turned from playful and silly to more distant and formal. A week after that I asked him to ice cream and he said he really wanted to, but again sounded dismissive and avoidant and just said "i'll let you know" and didn't pick a date.
He was replying to my texts promptly until I asked to have a talk, and he left me on delivered 14 days ago. 7 days ago I sent him a very vulnerable and open message saying I felt self-conscious about what happened that night and if we could address the shift in our dynamic since that night (at my therapist's recommendation) and he left me on read.
I really don’t know what happened here. This guy was SO into me, and only switched immediately and withdrew after the sex on the second date. I’ve never experienced this before and I do feel like surprised because of how quickly he pulled away but mostly confused by what happened. Did he lose interest in me because of the sex or was it about his own insecurities? I keep getting conflicting advice. I'm okay with brutal honesty.
TL;DR:

• Met at a party 2 months ago, spoke for 7 hours, fell asleep together, when we made out he *trembled* severely.
• He said he was very intimidated by me. I've been recruited by modeling scouts, and go to an Ivy league school w/ a STEM major, about to go to med school
• He told me multiple times that he’s very insecure, has a big fragile ego, didn’t get girls until he was 17, has body dysmorphia and feels fat, that he was "fugly" until last year only got hot a year ago (he is very attractive now and in great shape), bad fear of rejection, got dumped by his first girlfriend last year and was heartbroken, had a rebound last summer, walked around without a shirt on last summer just so he could get stared at (clearly has a lot of issues). He said he was depressed most of last summer bc he thought he no longer had a positive impact on people's lives and said it's important to him to feel like he brightens the day of everyone who crosses his path.
• Went on his mom's phone to DM his friend to have him DM my friend, so she could text me and let me know he was hospitalized and not just ghosting me (he got hit by a car 5 days after we met). He was concussed and repeating "I have a date w/ a 24 y/o med student" (my friend was there and saw this).
• Made several comments about wanting to please me. a week after we met, he texted "tell me what I need to do to please you, it's the entire job description." (implying he'd be my boyfriend), the second time we made out (1.5 weeks after we met) he trembled badly again and when I asked why he said "I'm nervous and I don't know what you like"
• Was bragging to his friend when we were walking together about how I went to an ivy and am going to med school, sounded so excited and was almost giggly and was pumping his fist when he said it? (When friend asked me where I went to school). Like he sounded almost in awe.
• After the first time we had sex (he got off, I didn't) he said "You're so fucking hot and I just want to do a good job". Was just as enthusiastic and engaged over text between date one and date 2.
• Sex after date 2 went poorly. He slipped out twice (looked embarrassed when I told him), missed the cl**, said "I'm supposed to be good at this" when he couldn't get me off. I was quiet (he said "why are you being so quiet"?), I moved my hands awkwardly and he said "what are you doing?". Then I got on top and did a bad job too (had an anxiety attack from getting high for the first time). I counter-thrusted, couldn't match his rhythm, we had to pause and restart, but he still got off within minutes, I didn't. He said "I had fun" (which he also said after the first time), I said nothing (or maybe "uhuh"). He got completely quiet (and hes never quiet, he hates silence). Next morning he looked awkward, uncomfortable, avoided eye contact, looked taken aback and like he really unprepared for me to kiss him goodbye and he wouldn't even look at me when I got close to him and before/after I kissed him goodbye?
• Texts completely changed after that. He started to withdraw. No longer making an effort to keep the convo going but was polite and friendly. We kept texting for about three weeks, and he ghosted after I asked if we could address the shift in our dynamic that night (this was 1 week ago).

My question here I guess is, is there anything that can be done to salvage this at this point? (That would depend, of course, on if you think he pulled away because of his own insecurities. Of course, I definitely don't want to pursue him if he genuinely lost interest).

There is a person who keeps harrasing me online. I get message after message from different numbers and fake account daily. They sent a very nasty email to my workplace with many of my texts taken out of context in the hopes of getting me fired. They created fake profiles with my pictures and more nasty things. (Luckly those were taken down almost immediately, unfortunately I do not have screenshots). After doing this they knew i was angry and filed an EPO against me based on nothing but lies so that I couldn't talk to them. (I am NOT a violent person at all). They lied to the detective about us being in a relationship, that we lived together, how long we had known eachother, and threats that were never made. This went through two different court dates that they did not even show up to before it got thrown out. (Meanwhile sending me messages almost daily). Messages still continue and I block every new account and message they send. They even send me packages and mail in which I have not been opening or leaving at the post office. The messages cycle through hate name-calling and swearing, to love letters and apologies, to extreamly graphic sexual messages. I just want it to stop. Now here are my questions: 1) We live in Canada and they are in the next province over. Does that complicate things? Is it a different order for each province? Which province do I file in?
2) Does this even qualify for a restraining order if all these messages are from random burner numbers and fake accounts?
(This was a friends suggestion and I think it would maybe work if done convincingly) 3) Can I create a document that looks like a restraining order and mail it or have someone give it to them? I really do believe that if they are convinced it's real they will stop and do not need to waste anyone's time at the courts. Obviously this would have no actual power and could not be enforced but if they do not know that.
4) And finally if I do need to go through the system for a real restraining order will it be as difficult as they say? Do these things actually qualify? They have never been violent or shown up in person anywhere, it is all done online or phone. Will they have to physically act in order for legal action to take place.
Thanks

This might be a really long post, but I feel really alone and in need of advice. Thank you to anyone who takes the time to read.
My (22F) boyfriend (27M) and I have been together for around 9 months. We have been living together since December. When we met, I felt a very intense connection, and it wasn’t long (about a week) before we said “I love you.” Since the day we did, I haven’t gone a full day without seeing him. However, there have been some pretty rocky arguments throughout the duration of our relationship.
One of the first I can remember was barely even a month into knowing each other, where he asked to look through my phone. In the summer leading up to meeting him, I had been going to music festivals, taking trips with my friends, clubbing, drinking socially and smoking weed nearly every day. He already knew this about me since we had conversations leading up to making it official. I had already known that he is a “sober” individual, who is also on test and steroids for bodybuilding. He expressed that he is sober both due to nature of his work and for personal addiction concerns.
Upon going through my camera roll and seeing footage of me doing said activities, often in very little clothing, he got extremely angry, called me names (dirty, used, whore, trashy etc.) and said he was leaving. This upset me greatly, partly because he made me feel like shit for the things I had spent the last couple years of my life enjoying, and because I desperately didn’t want him to leave. He was adamant that we wouldn’t work out because of how trashy I was and that he didn’t want “used goods.” I just cried and pleaded with him, but he was firm in leaving.
(Not long after moving in together, he went through my camera roll again and made me delete every photo from the last 2 years.)
As I started to accept the fact that I was going to lose him, and he got up to leave my apartment, he said “oh okay so you’re just going to let me leave?” Which at the time made me feel even worse because I thought ‘wow how shitty of me to just let him walk out the door’, but historically, when someone tells me that they’re leaving, they leave. But I begged for him to stay and apologized for my promiscuous behavior and vowed to become sober.
A few weeks later, after a very similar argument about the same topics, he yelled at me to leave his place, so I did. I was so angry and upset that I went home sobbing to my roommate, also one of my closest friends at the time, and lit up a joint to numb the pain. I left my phone in the other room while I lamented to my roommate about how he made me feel. She is one of the kindest people I have ever met, and gave me a shoulder to cry on, and really good advice. After a while of talking, I figured it was best for me to stop talking to him, so I went back to my room to call him and cut ties.
I called him and was honest about being high. He berated me per usual and compared it to cheating on him. Said he was ready to give me the world but I threw it all away just to get high. After nearly an hour of me sobbing and him telling me how awful I was, he asked me to come over. I did, and after a while we made up.
For the next couple months, he would regularly guilt trip me about my past, call me trashy and stupid, things of that nature. When he asked me about my body count, I gave him the single digit number. When I asked him about his, he said he lost count. When he asked me if I’ve had a threesome, I told him I’ve only had one, and he said he was disgusted with me and could “never see a future with a whore.”
All the while, my roommate and I had grown distant, and she expressed to me that she wanted to move out after I said I was looking to move in with him. I don’t know what possessed me, or how he convinced me, but after my roommate said she wanted to leave our apartment, I went behind her back and applied with my bf to live there when she left. When she found out, she was livid, which is entirely justified. What I did was the shittiest thing I’ve ever done, and at the time, I only felt a little uneasy about it, mostly because my bf convinced me it was okay, but every month that’s passed since December, I’ve felt worse and worse about how I treated her. I need to reach out and apologize profusely, which won’t fix anything, but it’s the least she deserves.
After moving in together, we had a couple big fights. One resulted in him saying he was leaving, staging like he left for the night to stay at a coworkers place. I completely broke down and smashed my phone into pieces like a child. I was sobbing so hard I threw up. Since he couldn’t text or call me, he came back to the apartment and said “of course I’m not actually leaving are you stupid?” After about a whole day of saying he texted our landlord and his parents were flying him back home.
Another night, I stayed up completing a certificate for work and gaming til about 2am, and when I came to bed our door was locked, so I called him to wake him up and he was furious. I ended up hanging up the call after he didn’t let me in, and he immediately ripped open the door, grabbed my shirt and screamed in my face “DID YOU JUST HANG UP ON ME!?”
Later that night after cooling down, I told him that was triggering because of my history of physical abuse. He said it was triggering that I hung up on him.
Not long after that one, we woke up in a bad mood. I wanted to sleep in some more but he was adamant that I get up, as he always is. At this point, whenever he gets upset about something I’ve been really agreeable and submissive because I’m sick and tired of the being lectured, the name calling and feeling like shit, but this time I snapped and yelled. Mainly because I had just woken up and didn’t have the wherewithal to control my irritation. This resulted in him demanding that I sleep in the guest bedroom, ripping all my clothes out of the closet (breaking most of my hangers) and throwing a full hamper that hit me in the head.
Honestly after writing all this down, I’m kicking myself for not leaving him sooner. But he’s much smarter than me, has helped me grow in certain ways, and it’s not bad all the time. We goof around and game together. He’s really helpful with budgeting and keeping our apartment clean. Just when it’s bad, it’s really bad.
I’ve tried talking to him about these issues. As I said before, he’s much smarter than I am, and has a particular way of talking to me that leaves me stumped for an answer. He works with behavioral issues for a living and speaks to me like I’m a client, which angers me more than anything.
But to the point of the title now
Along with all of this, we’ve been together for almost a year and he hasn’t met my family. I have a small and broken family, but the woman who raised me is my everything and she’s been dying to meet the man I’m with, but he always dodges the question of meeting her. I asked him if he was uncomfortable with it, but he says he’s just busy.
I met his entire family over Christmas, and they were so lovely and accommodating, they even flew me out which was way more than I could’ve asked for. I feel guilty that I even want to leave because of how kind his family was and how much they spent on me.
He’s told me before that he resents me for having a broken family that can’t provide us anything like his can.
I asked him last week if he remembers my middle name. He did not.
I knew his middle name the first week of meeting him.
I know a lot about him, the sports he played growing up, family dynamics, core memories that make him happy, the fears that keep him up at night, childhood events, dreams and goals he sets, things that he’s told me and things I’ve picked up on.
I know they might seem trivial, and I might just be overreacting, but it seems the only things he cares to remember about me are the things he hates.
I’ve also quizzed him nearly every month to see if he remembers when my birthday is. He never knows.
His birthday is my phone passcode.
All in all, I’ve stopped doing everything I enjoy, cut off all of my friends, I’ve cried every day these past 2 weeks, but I feel like I’m in too deep to quit. We share a bedroom and a lease, I don’t have anyone to reach out to because I left all my friends for this man.
I miss my friends, I owe them all huge apologies. I miss going outside and having alone time. I feel hopeless. I’m scared to talk to him.
Edit because I forgot to add: My birthday is on the 21st and I’m pretty sure he won’t remember. I don’t really care about my birthday all that much, but on top of everything it would be a big slap in the face if he didn’t remember. There’s a part of me that wants to just run away for the weekend if he does, leave my phone and disappear.
I probably won’t do that. I know I’m probably just using the birthday thing as an excuse.
Thank you again to whoever actually reads this, I really needed to let it out.

Hello, I've recently received a letter from Thems Water - that I owe money on a property I previously lived on. However the account was on my ex partner's name and she continued living in that property few months after we separated and I have moved out at the time she closed the account. The letter is suspiciously send to the new address I live on. Upon contacting the phone number provided they say they see the account and my details,but don't see any sum of money that I supposedly owe to the company. ( The letter states £143 ). How would Thems water have my details and why would they claim that I owe them this bill when I have never had the account in my name? Could this be some elaborate scam of sort? Appreciate any advice on this. Thank you.

TL;DR at the bottom
Met at a party 2 months ago, spoke for 7 hours, fell asleep together, when we made out he *trembled* severely(he was the one who very nervously initiated the first kiss, with a shaky voice). He said he was very intimidated by me (I've been recruited by modeling scouts, and go to an Ivy league school w/ a STEM major, about to go to med school), he got my number the next day and we were texting non stop.
He told me multiple times that he’s very insecure, has a big fragile ego, didn’t get girls until he was 17, has body dysmorphia and feels fat, that he was "fugly" until last year only got hot a year ago (he is very attractive now and in great shape), bad fear of rejection (told me he never would have made the first move with me), got dumped by his first girlfriend last year and was heartbroken, had a rebound last summer, walked around without a shirt on last summer just so he could get stared at (clearly has a lot of issues). He said he was depressed most of last summer bc he thought he no longer had a positive impact on people's lives and said it's important to him to feel like he brightens the day of everyone who crosses his path.
A few days after we met, he reached out to me from the hospital after being in a bad accident and being severely injured (went on his mom's phone to DM his friend to have him DM my friend so she can text me and let me know he was hospitalized and not ghosting me) (just to give you an idea of how much he was into me) just so I didn't think I was being ghosted. He was asking the nurses for me bc he thought I worked in the hospital. A mutual friend was there and he said this guy just kept repeating "I have a date with a 24 y/o med student". He was concussed and had a fractured spine.
Five days after we met he said "tell me what I need to do to make you happy, it's the entire job description" (implying he'd be my boyfriend). When I asked why he was trembling the second time we made out he said "I'm nervous and I don't know what you like".
The next day he came to a pregame at his friends' place for a party that he wasn't invited to (but he had my name put on the list) just so he could walk me to the party. Initially, he was shy and avoiding eye contact, and was talking to my friend instead of me (she told me later that he was looking at me when I wasn't looking). He introduced me to a bunch of his friends. I had to be the one who initiated hand holding and kisses, and he eventually warmed up a lot more and got comfortable. On the walk to the party he was bragging to his friend about me going to an Ivy and going to med school and sounded SO genuinely excited about it, like he was pumping his fist, almost giggling about it, and there as a skip in his step (like he seemed in awe of this).
Next day, after the sex after the first date, he said "you're so fucking hot and I just want to do a good job". Next day he texted me and said the date was "AMAZING" and "I hope you had anywhere as much fun as I did"
He said "I'm supposed to be good at this" when he couldn't get me off during the second time we had sex (after the second date), but I did a bad job as well (had an anxiety attack) and did not match his rhythm when I was on top (I was counter thrusting, we had to pause and restart a few times, but he still got off within a couple minutes, I didn't) I was quiet too (mentally checked out from the anxiety attack) and he nervously said "why are you being so quiet"?, I moved my hands awkwardly, and he asked "what are you doing?" twice lol
However, before the sex and on the way home from the second date, He was holding my hand, playing his favorite music for me on the ride back to his place, laughing and calling me so cute when I was hiccuping right before the sex. We had that awkward sex (he slipped out twice, couldn’t find the cl**, he got off, I didn't, he said "I had fun" right after, I said nothing (or might've said "uhuh"), he got very quiet (he hates silence and normally never shuts up, complete yapper), avoided eye contact with me next morning, looked taken aback/uncomfortable when I kissed him goodbye. Was not nearly as affectionate overnight as he was after the first time we had sex. All he said the next morning was "do you have your earrings".
I will say on the second date (this was in the midst of finals), he did seem more intent on sex and focused on making out with me/having sex with me and was different from the first date (trying to get to know me more). He made a lot of effort to keep in touch with me and was highly engaged and enthusiastic in text between date 1 and 2 during a very stressful time for him finals (texted me from therapy). Over text over the past weeks he was making a lot of effort to get to know me and to keep the convo going.
Next day he texted me thanking me for the night before and said he had a lot of fun, but from then on, his texts were not at all as engaging as they used to be. He used to put a lot of effort into keeping the convo going, but he stopped doing that, was just replying to my texts. He did tell me on the second date that when he loses interest in someone he will respond politely but not ghost and not initiate any texts, which is what he started doing after that night, but he was oscillating between being engaged and withdrawn over text too.
He texted "Hopefully I'll see you some other time" after I cancelled our previously scheduled third date/party invite (for a legit reason and he knew that too) and I just hearted it but did not respond to it and asked when I could drop off his sunglasses. From then on, mixed signals and delayed responses from both sides. I did text him a week later explaining I had an anxiety attack that night and to apologize for being checked out that night, but he already pulled away by then and his tone turned from playful and silly to more distant and formal. A week after that I asked him to ice cream and he said he really wanted to, but again sounded dismissive and avoidant and just said "i'll let you know" and didn't pick a date.
He was replying to my texts promptly until I asked to have a talk, and he left me on delivered 14 days ago. 7 days ago I sent him a very vulnerable and open message saying I felt self-conscious about what happened that night and if we could address the shift in our dynamic since that night (at my therapist's recommendation) and he left me on read.
I really don’t know what happened here. This guy was SO into me, and only switched immediately and withdrew after the sex on the second date. I’ve never experienced this before and I do feel surprised because of how quickly he pulled away but mostly confused by what happened. Did he lose interest in me because of the sex or was it about his own insecurities? I keep getting conflicting advice. I'm okay with brutal honesty.
TL;DR:

• Met at a party 2 months ago, spoke for 7 hours, fell asleep together, when we made out he *trembled* severely.
• He said he was very intimidated by me. I've been recruited by modeling scouts, and go to an Ivy league school w/ a STEM major, about to go to med school
• He told me multiple times that he’s very insecure, has a big fragile ego, didn’t get girls until he was 17, has body dysmorphia and feels fat, that he was "fugly" until last year only got hot a year ago (he is very attractive now and in great shape), bad fear of rejection, got dumped by his first girlfriend last year and was heartbroken, had a rebound last summer, walked around without a shirt on last summer just so he could get stared at (clearly has a lot of issues). He said he was depressed most of last summer bc he thought he no longer had a positive impact on people's lives and said it's important to him to feel like he brightens the day of everyone who crosses his path.
• Went on his mom's phone to DM his friend to have him DM my friend, so she could text me and let me know he was hospitalized and not just ghosting me (he got hit by a car 5 days after we met). He was concussed and repeating "I have a date w/ a 24 y/o med student" (my friend was there and saw this).
• Made several comments about wanting to please me. a week after we met, he texted "tell me what I need to do to please you, it's the entire job description." (implying he'd be my boyfriend), the second time we made out (1.5 weeks after we met) he trembled badly again and when I asked why he said "I'm nervous and I don't know what you like"
• Was bragging to his friend when we were walking together about how I went to an ivy and am going to med school, sounded so excited and was almost giggly and was pumping his fist when he said it? (When friend asked me where I went to school). Like he sounded almost in awe.
• After the first time we had sex (he got off, I didn't) he said "You're so fucking hot and I just want to do a good job". Was just as enthusiastic and engaged over text between date one and date 2.
• Sex after date 2 went poorly. He slipped out twice (looked embarrassed when I told him), missed the cl**, said "I'm supposed to be good at this" when he couldn't get me off. I was quiet (he said "why are you being so quiet"?), I moved my hands awkwardly and he said "what are you doing?". Then I got on top and did a bad job too (had an anxiety attack from getting high for the first time). I counter-thrusted, couldn't match his rhythm, we had to pause and restart, but he still got off within minutes, I didn't. He said "I had fun" (which he also said after the first time), I said nothing (or maybe "uhuh"). He got completely quiet (and hes never quiet, he hates silence). Next morning he looked awkward, uncomfortable, avoided eye contact, looked taken aback and like he really unprepared for me to kiss him goodbye and he wouldn't even look at me when I got close to him and before/after I kissed him goodbye?
• Texts completely changed after that. He started to withdraw. No longer making an effort to keep the convo going but was polite and friendly. We kept texting for about three weeks (with me initiating all of it), and he ghosted after I asked if we could address the shift in our dynamic that night (this was 1 week ago).

Our texts since our second date: https://imgur.com/a/texts-since-second-date-v2Zwqe1

My S9's screen cracked and now it's dependent on my charger, so I'm in the market for a new one. I'm on the fence between an samsung s21 or a pixel 6a. For s21, I want to buy because of it's battery life, but I'm not sure of it's camera and the fact that there's no micro slot. Likewise, I'm tempted by the pixel 6 or 6a's camera, but a. the battery life is notably poor, b. I'm not sure how to feel about owning a phone made by the number 1 data harvester in the world, and c. I heard that the camera degrades. Both are currently on backmarket for around $150 dollars, and both have e sim capability.

I just bought a four room Sonos setup, including 1 Arc, 1 Beam, and 2 Play:1s. I really struggled, but was able to get the Beam, and Play:1s to update and join the system after jumping through a few too many hoops.
However, despite about 30 attempts of different configurations and setups (including different WiFi networks, Wired connections, setting up a discrete system vs joining the existing system, using the Mac App, Windows App, and the iOS app on both iPhone and iPad, using different combinations of the existing speakers plugged in vs not, and an unbelievable number of factory resets) no matter what I try, I simply CAN NOT get the Arc to update and connect. Just endless failed updates.
I'm at a loss of what to do. I see others are struggling. I haven't called support because a) I can not imagine what they are going to tell me do which is different from what I have already tried, b) am in Japan and the overlapping hours for US/English support is limited and c) it just should not be this hard.
It seems like this company is on an extreme downslide. Should I just pack them all up and send back to Amazon? Any other suggestions for a multi-room system that also has sound bar options?

When I was in my mid-20s I was seeking religious community.
I lived near a Unitarian Universalist congregation and its humanist-based faith approach was appealing to me. I decided to enroll myself and take a few classes at the UU church to officially become a member. We learned about its past, I was paired up with a few other pantheists, and at the end of the second meeting, lit a candle in a basin pot and told the congregation why I wanted to join. Which, what I believe what I said, is that my beliefs would be respected at said church.
And at the same time I was researching and learning more about the Baha'i Faith. My apartment neighbor and I would talk a lot his faith in Christianity and my interests in that Faith. I decided to do a deep-dive and read many Wikipedia articles on the religion, listen to audiobooks about it, and firmly educated myself deeply into it. After studying it for a few months, I decided to email the American Baha'is in enrolling. I had a very long and interesting talk with the enrollment woman over the phone that took two or three hours to process. She was very impressed on what I knew. She accepted my application and I got a card in the mail that identified me as a Baha'i.
Although not technically allowed in the Baha'i Faith, I was enrolled in both religions and was for a long time. I went to Sunday Services at my local congregation. Briefly attended Chalice Circles. Met a few local Baha'is and talked to them about Baha'u'llah's scripture and teachings. I was somewhat involved in both religions, although I did not fully engage or practice all rituals in either community or even privately.
What I came to realize after many discussions was that the Baha'i Faith did not teach the basis of what I privately held, pantheism, and that the Unitarian Universalists did not focus on it. In my late-20s I did a simple search on Google for transhumanist religions. As I myself identify with that type of thinking. From that, I read an article briefly on a fledging transhumanist religion known as Terasem. I was initially enthralled with the concept, however, I ultimately found out that the founder, Martine Rothblatt, religion's idea came from a "fictional" religion called Earthseed.
Earthseed's creed is simple. God is change. Shape God. It is the destiny of Earthseed to take root among the stars. There was none of the unnecessary rituals or rites that Terasem had. It focused equally on pantheism and outer space, rather than just transhumanism. And the way I translate those three sentences in my head is that its creed is process theology, syntheism and cosmism. I did a deep dive researching on Parable of the Sower and its sequel, Parable of the Talents. And read the Book of the Living.
Finally, as a 34-year old, after several years of discussion about this, I called the Baha'i Faith central number and my local Unitarian congregation's numbers and asked to be unenrolled from both religions. I left voice mails for both of them. The Baha'i Faith called me back two hours later and deregistering me as a Baha'i took less than five minutes. I have yet to hear back from my local Unitarian church, but by now they probably removed me from their member list too.
I went on Earthseed's website, contacted the admin about joining, and although I haven't seen a confirmation email back about it, I can only assume that I was added, because I started to get other emails from Earthseed's website. So I'm pretty sure I know that I'm enrolled in it. But even more than that, instead of trying to belong to religions I liked, such as Unitarian Universalism and the Baha'i Faith, by searching and finding the religion that I already firmly believed in since I was 14 but couldn't put into words during that time, I finally found a home for what I had already believe. Even if my only way to access it is through the Internet.
Why am I saying all of this? Because I'm trying to fully explain my enrollment processes for the religions that appealed to me and joined. All of these were fairly easy to do. What's more important is that I share and communicate these ideas I've held for decades now, and now that I found the religion that aligns with them, I can properly express them without resorting to using made up words and terminology. In my 20s I became a Unitarian Universalist and a Baha'i, but by my mid-30s I delisted myself from both religions and became an Earthseed Shaper.
So I bring it back to the you, the reader. What was enrollment into your religion like? What was the process you underwent to find your religion, and how long have you been a member of your religion? Is your family also part of the same religion as you? Are you required to perform rituals, rites or to tithe as a result? Do you participate with your religious community often? And do you believe you found the religion that you'll stay with for the rest of your life?
I would love to hear how your enrollment process happened in your religion and how it shaped you as a person. Looking forward to knowing more about everybody and discussing more about it with everybody here. And if you made it this far in my wall of text, I thank you for reading this and getting to know me. I'm looking forward to hearing your experiences in a reply below! :)

Hi everyone,
I’m trying to see if anyone has had any experience dealing with Western Union and “chargebacks” from fraudulent transactions. I’m not seeking out real attorneys to handle my case, just insight.
Long story short, someone hacked into my WU account that had my bank account linked, an they stole over 7k. I called the WU fraud helpline as soon as I saw it and they instructed me to file a police report and to call my bank since they could not refund me as the money had already been picked up. I called the police and filed a case (and even gave the case number to my bank as well as WU) and thankfully, my bank refunded me all the money that was lost the following week. Just when I thought the nightmare was over, I get a letter in the mail from WU saying the following:
“Dear ___,
WesternUnion is providing the following details to support the recovery of funds for the money transfer services provided through westernunion.com. The following information was used to create the profile (my previous email that was on file with my phone number)
We received a claim from your bank after the money had already been paid out to the receiving party, as a result, WesternUnion is unpaid for its service to you.”
So basically, WesternUnion is saying that I still owe them the amount that I reported to be fraudulent activity, and when I called them to ask what this letter was and why it was saying I still owed them, they mentioned it was because my bank did a “chargeback” in order to refund me my loss, which meant the money was coming from WU and not my bank, and I guess they’re not happy about it. I mean, it makes sense to me that they’d do a chargeback because the fraudulent activity was from someone hacking into my WU account, so why the heck would I pay them back for services I did NOT use or authorize.
The whole thing mind boggles me. I was told by my bank that I had nothing else to worry about, and now this happens, so I’m just curious if anyone else has experienced this situation or something similar, or if anyone had advice on what my next move should be. The person I just spoke to at WU asked me to ask the police if they have been in contact with WesternUnion about the investigation or if they sent them the police report (even though I’ve given them the file number) and basically, just let my bank and the police talk to Western Union to handle it, but I just don’t trust it at this point. I’m trying to document everything I can and Im even thinking I should even go as far as looking into lawyers for consultation but I’m afraid that will cost a lot of money. It just seems as if WesternUnion won’t be holding themselves accountable for the money that was lost, so any insight would be appreciated.

PayPal is offering new users a free £10 when they sign up using a referral link, plus an extra £10 for every friend they refer (up to £100)!
It's easy to participate – just spend £5 or send £5 to friends or family.
This offer ends on June 30, 2024.
Here's how it works:

1. Sign up using this Referral Link
2. Link your bank account or credit/debit card.
3. Verify your account with your phone number.
4. Spend £5 via PayPal or send £5 to a friend or family member, within 30 days of signing up.
5. £10 should be credited to your account within two weeks.

If I were you, I would simply send the fiver to a family member or friend, and then ask for it back. This will qualify without you needing to spend anything. Once you have joined, you can share your own referral link with friends and family which will give you and them £10 each per successful referral.
T&Cs
Non-Referral link: https://www.paypal.com/uk/home (No Bonus)

Not phone calls but video calls..My wife has a form of agoraphobia, makes it hard for her to get out shopping..She likes to see things so she can decide if she wants them..My hearing went to shit after I spent a number of years working in a scrapyard without any form of protection..Unless the store is basically quiet, there is a 90% guarantee I won't hear her unless I have the phone to my ear.
I use it only with one person who keeps interrupting me mid sentences.

TL;DR at the bottom
Met at a party 2 months ago, spoke for 7 hours, fell asleep together, when we made out he *trembled* severely(he was the one who very nervously initiated the first kiss, with a shaky voice). He said he was very intimidated by me (I've been recruited by modeling scouts, and go to an Ivy league school w/ a STEM major, about to go to med school), he got my number the next day and we were texting non stop.
He told me multiple times that he’s very insecure, has a big fragile ego, didn’t get girls until he was 17, has body dysmorphia and feels fat, that he was "fugly" until last year only got hot a year ago (he is very attractive now and in great shape), bad fear of rejection (told me he never would have made the first move with me), got dumped by his first girlfriend last year and was heartbroken, had a rebound last summer, walked around without a shirt on last summer just so he could get stared at (clearly has a lot of issues). He said he was depressed most of last summer bc he thought he no longer had a positive impact on people's lives and said it's important to him to feel like he brightens the day of everyone who crosses his path.
A few days after we met, he reached out to me from the hospital after being in a bad accident and being severely injured (went on his mom's phone to DM his friend to have him DM my friend so she can text me and let me know he was hospitalized and not ghosting me) (just to give you an idea of how much he was into me) just so I didn't think I was being ghosted. He was asking the nurses for me bc he thought I worked in the hospital. A mutual friend was there and he said this guy just kept repeating "I have a date with a 24 y/o med student". He was concussed and had a fractured spine.
Five days after we met he said "tell me what I need to do to make you happy, it's the entire job description" (implying he'd be my boyfriend). When I asked why he was trembling the second time we made out he said "I'm nervous and I don't know what you like".
The next day he came to a pregame at his friends' place for a party that he wasn't invited to (but he had my name put on the list) just so he could walk me to the party. Initially, he was shy and avoiding eye contact, and was talking to my friend instead of me (she told me later that he was looking at me when I wasn't looking). He introduced me to a bunch of his friends. I had to be the one who initiated hand holding and kisses, and he eventually warmed up a lot more and got comfortable. On the walk to the party he was bragging to his friend about me going to an Ivy and going to med school and sounded SO genuinely excited about it, like he was pumping his fist, almost giggling about it, and there as a skip in his step (like he seemed in awe of this).
Next day, after the sex after the first date, he said "you're so fucking hot and I just want to do a good job". Next day he texted me and said the date was "AMAZING" and "I hope you had anywhere as much fun as I did"
He said "I'm supposed to be good at this" when he couldn't get me off during the second time we had sex (after the second date), but I did a bad job as well (had an anxiety attack) and did not match his rhythm when I was on top (I was counter thrusting, we had to pause and restart a few times, but he still got off within a couple minutes, I didn't) I was quiet too (mentally checked out from the anxiety attack) and he nervously said "why are you being so quiet"?, I moved my hands awkwardly, and he asked "what are you doing?" twice lol
However, before the sex and on the way home from the second date, He was holding my hand, playing his favorite music for me on the ride back to his place, laughing and calling me so cute when I was hiccuping right before the sex. We had that awkward sex (he slipped out twice, couldn’t find the cl**, he got off, I didn't, he said "I had fun" right after, I said nothing (or might've said "uhuh"), he got very quiet (he hates silence and normally never shuts up, complete yapper), avoided eye contact with me next morning, looked taken aback/uncomfortable when I kissed him goodbye. Was not nearly as affectionate overnight as he was after the first time we had sex. All he said the next morning was "do you have your earrings".
I will say on the second date (this was in the midst of finals), he did seem more intent on sex and focused on making out with me/having sex with me and was different from the first date (trying to get to know me more). He made a lot of effort to keep in touch with me and was highly engaged and enthusiastic in text between date 1 and 2 during a very stressful time for him finals (texted me from therapy). Over text over the past weeks he was making a lot of effort to get to know me and to keep the convo going.
Next day he texted me thanking me for the night before and said he had a lot of fun, but from then on, his texts were not at all as engaging as they used to be. He used to put a lot of effort into keeping the convo going, but he stopped doing that, was just replying to my texts. He did tell me on the second date that when he loses interest in someone he will respond politely but not ghost and not initiate any texts, which is what he started doing after that night, but he was oscillating between being engaged and withdrawn over text too.
He texted "Hopefully I'll see you some other time" after I cancelled our previously scheduled third date/party invite (for a legit reason and he knew that too) and I just hearted it but did not respond to it and asked when I could drop off his sunglasses. From then on, mixed signals and delayed responses from both sides. I did text him a week later explaining I had an anxiety attack that night and to apologize for being checked out that night, but he already pulled away by then and his tone turned from playful and silly to more distant and formal. A week after that I asked him to ice cream and he said he really wanted to, but again sounded dismissive and avoidant and just said "i'll let you know" and didn't pick a date.
He was replying to my texts promptly until I asked to have a talk, and he left me on delivered 14 days ago. 7 days ago I sent him a very vulnerable and open message saying I felt self-conscious about what happened that night and if we could address the shift in our dynamic since that night (at my therapist's recommendation) and he left me on read.
I really don’t know what happened here. This guy was SO into me, and only switched immediately and withdrew after the sex on the second date. I’ve never experienced this before and I do feel surprised because of how quickly he pulled away but mostly confused by what happened. Did he lose interest in me because of the sex or was it about his own insecurities? I keep getting conflicting advice. I'm okay with brutal honesty.
TL;DR:

• Met at a party 2 months ago, spoke for 7 hours, fell asleep together, when we made out he *trembled* severely.
• He said he was very intimidated by me. I've been recruited by modeling scouts, and go to an Ivy league school w/ a STEM major, about to go to med school
• He told me multiple times that he’s very insecure, has a big fragile ego, didn’t get girls until he was 17, has body dysmorphia and feels fat, that he was "fugly" until last year only got hot a year ago (he is very attractive now and in great shape), bad fear of rejection, got dumped by his first girlfriend last year and was heartbroken, had a rebound last summer, walked around without a shirt on last summer just so he could get stared at (clearly has a lot of issues). He said he was depressed most of last summer bc he thought he no longer had a positive impact on people's lives and said it's important to him to feel like he brightens the day of everyone who crosses his path.
• Went on his mom's phone to DM his friend to have him DM my friend, so she could text me and let me know he was hospitalized and not just ghosting me (he got hit by a car 5 days after we met). He was concussed and repeating "I have a date w/ a 24 y/o med student" (my friend was there and saw this).
• Made several comments about wanting to please me. a week after we met, he texted "tell me what I need to do to please you, it's the entire job description." (implying he'd be my boyfriend), the second time we made out (1.5 weeks after we met) he trembled badly again and when I asked why he said "I'm nervous and I don't know what you like"
• Was bragging to his friend when we were walking together about how I went to an ivy and am going to med school, sounded so excited and was almost giggly and was pumping his fist when he said it? (When friend asked me where I went to school). Like he sounded almost in awe.
• After the first time we had sex (he got off, I didn't) he said "You're so fucking hot and I just want to do a good job". Was just as enthusiastic and engaged over text between date one and date 2.
• Sex after date 2 went poorly. He slipped out twice (looked embarrassed when I told him), missed the cl**, said "I'm supposed to be good at this" when he couldn't get me off. I was quiet (he said "why are you being so quiet"?), I moved my hands awkwardly and he said "what are you doing?". Then I got on top and did a bad job too (had an anxiety attack from getting high for the first time). I counter-thrusted, couldn't match his rhythm, we had to pause and restart, but he still got off within minutes, I didn't. He said "I had fun" (which he also said after the first time), I said nothing (or maybe "uhuh"). He got completely quiet (and hes never quiet, he hates silence). Next morning he looked awkward, uncomfortable, avoided eye contact, looked taken aback and like he really unprepared for me to kiss him goodbye and he wouldn't even look at me when I got close to him and before/after I kissed him goodbye?
• Texts completely changed after that. He started to withdraw. No longer making an effort to keep the convo going but was polite and friendly. We kept texting for about three weeks, and he ghosted after I asked if we could address the shift in our dynamic that night (this was 1 week ago). I did reach out a couple times after that date and asked him to ice cream once, but he still sounded a bit avoidant and dismissive.

Our texts since our second date: https://imgur.com/a/texts-since-second-date-v2Zwqe1

Hello, I just ported in my number from Fido to Freedom. It has been about 24 hours, but I am unable to receive texts from some contacts I have reached out to (I confirmed that they did indeed send a text to me). All calling and outgoing texts are fine, as are 2FA texts from sites like CRA, and Freedom's own website.
I am using an Android S10 phone, and I did read of some issues last month where Freedom users were not receiving texts from Rogers users, but I believe that was resolved. I have received texts from a Bell user without issue. The texts that I can get back are from Chatr, Speakout, and Rogers.
I have already called tech support and they troubleshooted with network resets, taking sim card out, and even exchanging sim card at a store.
Located in GTA, thank you for any help/insight you can provide.

No idea if this is the right group to post in, so if not I apologise.
I joined a dating site recently, messaged a guy and within a week or so, I asked him to swap numbers, he was fine with it.
We talked about all sorts of things from our views on social media and relationships. He's got 2 kids who he sees at weekend, fine with that. Told me he finds it hard to message me when they're around, again that's fine.
Sometimes I won't hear from him until late afternoon, early evening, he doesn't work due to mental health, again that's fine. He told me he doesn't always use his phone during the day as he likes to chill out and if he's having a bad day mentally, he won't message much, that's fine Today something just didn't sit right with me, I messaged him early hours of the morning asking him if he's okay, his reply "meh, you?" I asked him what was wrong and no reply until I text again this evening. I then asked him am I being too much? His reply "I don't think about it. You're you and that's there is to it" I don't know if that's him saying for me to take a hint and back off abit or whether he just doesn't care about how much someone texts. He upset me but I really like him
I don't know what to think or do! The anxiety I have over this is ridiculous!

I've seen a lot of options out there like Ringcentral, dialpad, grasshopper, and openphone but really not sure what the best option is for my situation. I have a small pet sitting business. Finally started hiring sitters recently. They're part time so it's still fairly slow but has given me some time to work on my business rather than in it. As I attempt to scale, I will hire a part-time administrator to field calls and texts from clients and handle some of my scheduling/invoicing/etc. So there will be at least 2 users, maybe 3, for the same phone number.
So far, I've only checked the pricing for Ringcentral and it's around $480 per year for the cheapest plan at the annual rate for 2 users. Is that what the pricing is like for all of them? For some reason, I thought it was going to be cheaper

Hi everyone,
I’m trying to see if anyone has had any experience dealing with Western Union and “chargebacks” from fraudulent transactions.
Long story short, someone hacked into my WU account that had my bank account linked, an they stole over 7k. I called the WU fraud helpline as soon as I saw it and they instructed me to file a police report and to call my bank since they could not refund me as the money had already been picked up. I called the police and filed a case (and even gave the case number to my bank as well as WU) and thankfully, my bank refunded me all the money that was lost the following week. Just when I thought the nightmare was over, I get a letter in the mail from WU saying the following:
“Dear ___,
WesternUnion is providing the following details to support the recovery of funds for the money transfer services provided through westernunion.com. The following information was used to create the profile (my previous email that was on file with my phone number)
We received a claim from your bank after the money had already been paid out to the receiving party, as a result, WesternUnion is unpaid for its service to you.”
So basically, WesternUnion is saying that I still owe them the amount that I reported to be fraudulent activity, and when I called them to ask what this letter was and why it was saying I still owed them, they mentioned it was because my bank did a “chargeback” in order to refund me my loss, which meant the money was coming from WU and not my bank, and I guess they’re not happy about it. I mean, it makes sense to me that they’d do a chargeback because the fraudulent activity was from someone hacking into my WU account, so why the heck would I pay them back for services I did NOT use or authorize.
The whole thing mind boggles me. I was told by my bank that I had nothing else to worry about, and now this happens, so I’m just curious if anyone else has experienced this situation or something similar, or if anyone had advice on what my next move should be. The person I just spoke to at WU asked me to ask the police if they have been in contact with WesternUnion about the investigation or if they sent them the police report (even though I’ve given them the file number) and basically, just let my bank and the police talk to Western Union to handle it, but I just don’t trust it at this point. I’m trying to document everything I can and Im even thinking I should even go as far as looking into lawyers for consultation but I’m afraid that will cost a lot of money. It just seems as if WesternUnion won’t be holding themselves accountable for the money that was lost, so any insight would be appreciated.