Appreciation party invitations

One of my good friends is 38. He has a high achieving career and he's in a 3.5 year relationship, recently living with his partner, but he's still hitting the clubs, rave festivals, partying and drinking loads (and some drugs) an awful lot. He had no real signs of slowing down at all on the going out and going hard lifestyle.
I'm also 38 and I just cannot be bothered with this lifestyle anymore.
But in turning down invites I am having quite a bit of accusations thrown my way about being an old man, that I'm tapping-out - and all this kind of stuff.
I've caused some serious offence saying I feel too old for all this, as it seems to insinuate 38 is too old for these types of things. And that they maybe shouldn't be going...
I'm looking at photos of these events on Instagram and everyone attending looks late 20s, or mid 30s at very best.
At 38 I would rather stay home with my wife or go for a meal with friends, or have friends over. Or just stay home and play video games or watch a movie with my wife than go clubbing at a music festival with people much younger... I'm just not feeling it that much anymore...
Londoners... what age is a good age to start not attending these sort of events?

Hi! I’m curious if anyone has suggestions for planning a birthday party on a budget? My boyfriend’s birthday is coming up and I really want to throw him a birthday party since he never has had one before. I just graduated from college so I don’t have a lot of money to work with, but I’m hoping to throw a smaller party for him his friends and our families, which totals to about 35 people.
Any suggestions or ideas are super appreciated.

TL;DR at the bottom
Met at a party 2 months ago, spoke for 7 hours, fell asleep together, when we made out he *trembled* severely(he was the one who very nervously initiated the first kiss, with a shaky voice). He said he was very intimidated by me (I've been recruited by modeling scouts, and go to an Ivy league school w/ a STEM major, about to go to med school), he got my number the next day and we were texting non stop.
He told me multiple times that he’s very insecure, has a big fragile ego, didn’t get girls until he was 17, has body dysmorphia and feels fat, that he was "fugly" until last year only got hot a year ago (he is very attractive now and in great shape), bad fear of rejection (told me he never would have made the first move with me), got dumped by his first girlfriend last year and was heartbroken, had a rebound last summer, walked around without a shirt on last summer just so he could get stared at (clearly has a lot of issues). He said he was depressed most of last summer bc he thought he no longer had a positive impact on people's lives and said it's important to him to feel like he brightens the day of everyone who crosses his path.
A few days after we met, he reached out to me from the hospital after being in a bad accident and being severely injured (went on his mom's phone to DM his friend to have him DM my friend so she can text me and let me know he was hospitalized and not ghosting me) (just to give you an idea of how much he was into me) just so I didn't think I was being ghosted. He was asking the nurses for me bc he thought I worked in the hospital. A mutual friend was there and he said this guy just kept repeating "I have a date with a 24 y/o med student". He was concussed and had a fractured spine.
Five days after we met he said "tell me what I need to do to make you happy, it's the entire job description" (implying he'd be my boyfriend). When I asked why he was trembling the second time we made out he said "I'm nervous and I don't know what you like".
The next day he came to a pregame at his friends' place for a party that he wasn't invited to (but he had my name put on the list) just so he could walk me to the party. Initially, he was shy and avoiding eye contact, and was talking to my friend instead of me (she told me later that he was looking at me when I wasn't looking). He introduced me to a bunch of his friends. I had to be the one who initiated hand holding and kisses, and he eventually warmed up a lot more and got comfortable. On the walk to the party he was bragging to his friend about me going to an Ivy and going to med school and sounded SO genuinely excited about it, like he was pumping his fist, almost giggling about it, and there as a skip in his step (like he seemed in awe of this).
Next day, after the sex after the first date, he said "you're so fucking hot and I just want to do a good job". Next day he texted me and said the date was "AMAZING" and "I hope you had anywhere as much fun as I did"
He said "I'm supposed to be good at this" when he couldn't get me off during the second time we had sex (after the second date), but I did a bad job as well (had an anxiety attack) and did not match his rhythm when I was on top (I was counter thrusting, we had to pause and restart a few times, but he still got off within a couple minutes, I didn't) I was quiet too (mentally checked out from the anxiety attack) and he nervously said "why are you being so quiet"?, I moved my hands awkwardly, and he asked "what are you doing?" twice lol
However, before the sex and on the way home from the second date, He was holding my hand, playing his favorite music for me on the ride back to his place, laughing and calling me so cute when I was hiccuping right before the sex. We had that awkward sex (he slipped out twice, couldn’t find the cl**, he got off, I didn't, he said "I had fun" right after, I said nothing (or might've said "uhuh"), he got very quiet (he hates silence and normally never shuts up, complete yapper), avoided eye contact with me next morning, looked taken aback/uncomfortable when I kissed him goodbye. Was not nearly as affectionate overnight as he was after the first time we had sex. All he said the next morning was "do you have your earrings".
I will say on the second date (this was in the midst of finals), he did seem more intent on sex and focused on making out with me/having sex with me and was different from the first date (trying to get to know me more). He made a lot of effort to keep in touch with me and was highly engaged and enthusiastic in text between date 1 and 2 during a very stressful time for him finals (texted me from therapy). Over text over the past weeks he was making a lot of effort to get to know me and to keep the convo going.
Next day he texted me thanking me for the night before and said he had a lot of fun, but from then on, his texts were not at all as engaging as they used to be. He used to put a lot of effort into keeping the convo going, but he stopped doing that, was just replying to my texts. He did tell me on the second date that when he loses interest in someone he will respond politely but not ghost and not initiate any texts, which is what he started doing after that night, but he was oscillating between being engaged and withdrawn over text too.
He texted "Hopefully I'll see you some other time" after I cancelled our previously scheduled third date/party invite (for a legit reason and he knew that too) and I just hearted it but did not respond to it and asked when I could drop off his sunglasses. From then on, mixed signals and delayed responses from both sides. I did text him a week later explaining I had an anxiety attack that night and to apologize for being checked out that night, but he already pulled away by then and his tone turned from playful and silly to more distant and formal. A week after that I asked him to ice cream and he said he really wanted to, but again sounded dismissive and avoidant and just said "i'll let you know" and didn't pick a date.
He was replying to my texts promptly until I asked to have a talk, and he left me on delivered 14 days ago. 7 days ago I sent him a very vulnerable and open message saying I felt self-conscious about what happened that night and if we could address the shift in our dynamic since that night (at my therapist's recommendation) and he left me on read.
I really don’t know what happened here. This guy was SO into me, and only switched immediately and withdrew after the sex on the second date. I’ve never experienced this before and I do feel like surprised because of how quickly he pulled away but mostly confused by what happened. Did he lose interest in me because of the sex or was it about his own insecurities? I keep getting conflicting advice. I'm okay with brutal honesty.
TL;DR:

• Met at a party 2 months ago, spoke for 7 hours, fell asleep together, when we made out he *trembled* severely.
• He said he was very intimidated by me. I've been recruited by modeling scouts, and go to an Ivy league school w/ a STEM major, about to go to med school
• He told me multiple times that he’s very insecure, has a big fragile ego, didn’t get girls until he was 17, has body dysmorphia and feels fat, that he was "fugly" until last year only got hot a year ago (he is very attractive now and in great shape), bad fear of rejection, got dumped by his first girlfriend last year and was heartbroken, had a rebound last summer, walked around without a shirt on last summer just so he could get stared at (clearly has a lot of issues). He said he was depressed most of last summer bc he thought he no longer had a positive impact on people's lives and said it's important to him to feel like he brightens the day of everyone who crosses his path.
• Went on his mom's phone to DM his friend to have him DM my friend, so she could text me and let me know he was hospitalized and not just ghosting me (he got hit by a car 5 days after we met). He was concussed and repeating "I have a date w/ a 24 y/o med student" (my friend was there and saw this).
• Made several comments about wanting to please me. a week after we met, he texted "tell me what I need to do to please you, it's the entire job description." (implying he'd be my boyfriend), the second time we made out (1.5 weeks after we met) he trembled badly again and when I asked why he said "I'm nervous and I don't know what you like"
• Was bragging to his friend when we were walking together about how I went to an ivy and am going to med school, sounded so excited and was almost giggly and was pumping his fist when he said it? (When friend asked me where I went to school). Like he sounded almost in awe.
• After the first time we had sex (he got off, I didn't) he said "You're so fucking hot and I just want to do a good job". Was just as enthusiastic and engaged over text between date one and date 2.
• Sex after date 2 went poorly. He slipped out twice (looked embarrassed when I told him), missed the cl**, said "I'm supposed to be good at this" when he couldn't get me off. I was quiet (he said "why are you being so quiet"?), I moved my hands awkwardly and he said "what are you doing?". Then I got on top and did a bad job too (had an anxiety attack from getting high for the first time). I counter-thrusted, couldn't match his rhythm, we had to pause and restart, but he still got off within minutes, I didn't. He said "I had fun" (which he also said after the first time), I said nothing (or maybe "uhuh"). He got completely quiet (and hes never quiet, he hates silence). Next morning he looked awkward, uncomfortable, avoided eye contact, looked taken aback and like he really unprepared for me to kiss him goodbye and he wouldn't even look at me when I got close to him and before/after I kissed him goodbye?
• Texts completely changed after that. He started to withdraw. No longer making an effort to keep the convo going but was polite and friendly. We kept texting for about three weeks, and he ghosted after I asked if we could address the shift in our dynamic that night (this was 1 week ago).

My question here I guess is, is there anything that can be done to salvage this at this point? (That would depend, of course, on if you think he pulled away because of his own insecurities. Of course, I definitely don't want to pursue him if he genuinely lost interest).

Edit - sorry, this is open to everyone - not just Londoners!!
One of my good friends is 38. He has a high achieving career and he's in a 3.5 year relationship, recently living with his partner, but he's still hitting the clubs, rave festivals, partying and drinking loads (and some drugs) an awful lot. He had no real signs of slowing down at all on the going out and going hard lifestyle.
I'm also 38, and I just can not be bothered with this lifestyle anymore.
But in turning down invites, I am having quite a bit of accusations thrown my way about being an old man, that I'm tapping out - and all this kind of stuff.
I've caused some serious offences saying I feel too old for all this, as it seems to insinuate 38 is too old for these types of things. And that they maybe shouldn't be going...
I'm looking at photos of these events on Instagram, and everyone attending looks in the late 20s or mid-30s at the very best.
At 38, I would rather stay home with my wife or go for a meal with friends or have friends over. Or just stay home and play video games or watch a movie with my wife rather than go clubbing at a music festival with people much younger... I'm just not feeling it that much anymore...
What age is a good age to start not attending these sorts of events?

All names are changed. So.. I (16 f) was invited for a birthday party my friend's friend.
We were in Ien's hause – the guy I saw literally twice in my life, but he always was super nice to me. There also was his girlfriend, Jane (17 f), which I saw only once like a few months ago, but we quickly find a common language in our first meeting, even if we did not communicate after that. The party was ok, a little weird at the beginning, which is typical for people who barely know each other. I spent the whole day with Jane, actually. We just talked, talked a lot and hugged, I literally lay on her, shit. I want to mention that I myself am quite a tactile person, but even for me it was a little too much. Anyway, I was too drunk and won't say I didn't like it.
For the record, I can't drink alcohol. At all.
So.. At some point we decided that me, Jane, Ien and the friend who brought me would not reach home and should stay. To my surprise, my parents didn't mind the overnight stay.
Jane gave me her clothes. She also bought me Kinder, lol.
She and I went to bed together and, after we finished the rest of the wine, she told me about her insecurities about her feelings about Ien. She said that she could imagine herself only with a girl, even tho Ien is an amazing person.
She did mentioned it much earlier, actually, but it still surprised me. I know how much Ien loves her. You can see it so easily. They also looked really good together, they seemed to suit each other so well.
She asked me if I and the friend who brought me were a thing. I assured that no, there is nothing.
And a little later, I'm already lying on her, we're talking about some delusion, something like affection language, probably. I just said at some point said "hey, im allowed to be bitten, btw".
Bites turned into kisses, and kisses in.. well, you understand. holy shit, I really don't remember much.
But I know for sure that I told her several times that she can stop at any moment and I will not be offended at all. With this, I somewhat justify myself.
I justify myself also with the fact that she was the initiator of almost everything. Goddamn, of course would never be the one who kissed her first while I'm aware that she has a boyfriend.
Later, Jane said thet she doesn't think it was a mistake and "hey, I should be ashamed, not you." But I was ashamed (and I am), and I almost literally cried (crybaby, i know). I couldn't imagine how I would have to wake up in the morning and look into Ien's eyes.
In any case, I had to do it and I even managed to distract myself.
Already when I was at home, after some time Jane texted me that she told Ien everything, but he does not hold grudges against me. A little later i discovered that from now on they have open relationships.
I know that I am not responsible for this, but i still feel guilty. It seems to me – and it's a fact – that I betrayed the trust of my good acquaintance very badly and there is nothing I can do about it now.
I have to meet Jane tomorrow, she should give me some of my things. And, after all, I still want to at least kiss her, but I'm afraid I shouldn't.
So.. Am I the asshole?
Also I'm so sorry for mistakes in text, eng isn't my first language and it's a middle of the night for me. and it's my first time posting anything on reddit, so please be brutally honest, but not too much

TL;DR at the bottom
Met at a party 2 months ago, spoke for 7 hours, fell asleep together, when we made out he *trembled* severely(he was the one who very nervously initiated the first kiss, with a shaky voice). He said he was very intimidated by me (I've been recruited by modeling scouts, and go to an Ivy league school w/ a STEM major, about to go to med school), he got my number the next day and we were texting non stop.
He told me multiple times that he’s very insecure, has a big fragile ego, didn’t get girls until he was 17, has body dysmorphia and feels fat, that he was "fugly" until last year only got hot a year ago (he is very attractive now and in great shape), bad fear of rejection (told me he never would have made the first move with me), got dumped by his first girlfriend last year and was heartbroken, had a rebound last summer, walked around without a shirt on last summer just so he could get stared at (clearly has a lot of issues). He said he was depressed most of last summer bc he thought he no longer had a positive impact on people's lives and said it's important to him to feel like he brightens the day of everyone who crosses his path.
A few days after we met, he reached out to me from the hospital after being in a bad accident and being severely injured (went on his mom's phone to DM his friend to have him DM my friend so she can text me and let me know he was hospitalized and not ghosting me) (just to give you an idea of how much he was into me) just so I didn't think I was being ghosted. He was asking the nurses for me bc he thought I worked in the hospital. A mutual friend was there and he said this guy just kept repeating "I have a date with a 24 y/o med student". He was concussed and had a fractured spine.
Five days after we met he said "tell me what I need to do to make you happy, it's the entire job description" (implying he'd be my boyfriend). When I asked why he was trembling the second time we made out he said "I'm nervous and I don't know what you like".
The next day he came to a pregame at his friends' place for a party that he wasn't invited to (but he had my name put on the list) just so he could walk me to the party. Initially, he was shy and avoiding eye contact, and was talking to my friend instead of me (she told me later that he was looking at me when I wasn't looking). He introduced me to a bunch of his friends. I had to be the one who initiated hand holding and kisses, and he eventually warmed up a lot more and got comfortable. On the walk to the party he was bragging to his friend about me going to an Ivy and going to med school and sounded SO genuinely excited about it, like he was pumping his fist, almost giggling about it, and there as a skip in his step (like he seemed in awe of this).
Next day, after the sex after the first date, he said "you're so fucking hot and I just want to do a good job". Next day he texted me and said the date was "AMAZING" and "I hope you had anywhere as much fun as I did"
He said "I'm supposed to be good at this" when he couldn't get me off during the second time we had sex (after the second date), but I did a bad job as well (had an anxiety attack) and did not match his rhythm when I was on top (I was counter thrusting, we had to pause and restart a few times, but he still got off within a couple minutes, I didn't) I was quiet too (mentally checked out from the anxiety attack) and he nervously said "why are you being so quiet"?, I moved my hands awkwardly, and he asked "what are you doing?" twice lol
However, before the sex and on the way home from the second date, He was holding my hand, playing his favorite music for me on the ride back to his place, laughing and calling me so cute when I was hiccuping right before the sex. We had that awkward sex (he slipped out twice, couldn’t find the cl**, he got off, I didn't, he said "I had fun" right after, I said nothing (or might've said "uhuh"), he got very quiet (he hates silence and normally never shuts up, complete yapper), avoided eye contact with me next morning, looked taken aback/uncomfortable when I kissed him goodbye. Was not nearly as affectionate overnight as he was after the first time we had sex. All he said the next morning was "do you have your earrings".
I will say on the second date (this was in the midst of finals), he did seem more intent on sex and focused on making out with me/having sex with me and was different from the first date (trying to get to know me more). He made a lot of effort to keep in touch with me and was highly engaged and enthusiastic in text between date 1 and 2 during a very stressful time for him finals (texted me from therapy). Over text over the past weeks he was making a lot of effort to get to know me and to keep the convo going.
Next day he texted me thanking me for the night before and said he had a lot of fun, but from then on, his texts were not at all as engaging as they used to be. He used to put a lot of effort into keeping the convo going, but he stopped doing that, was just replying to my texts. He did tell me on the second date that when he loses interest in someone he will respond politely but not ghost and not initiate any texts, which is what he started doing after that night, but he was oscillating between being engaged and withdrawn over text too.
He texted "Hopefully I'll see you some other time" after I cancelled our previously scheduled third date/party invite (for a legit reason and he knew that too) and I just hearted it but did not respond to it and asked when I could drop off his sunglasses. From then on, mixed signals and delayed responses from both sides. I did text him a week later explaining I had an anxiety attack that night and to apologize for being checked out that night, but he already pulled away by then and his tone turned from playful and silly to more distant and formal. A week after that I asked him to ice cream and he said he really wanted to, but again sounded dismissive and avoidant and just said "i'll let you know" and didn't pick a date.
He was replying to my texts promptly until I asked to have a talk, and he left me on delivered 14 days ago. 7 days ago I sent him a very vulnerable and open message saying I felt self-conscious about what happened that night and if we could address the shift in our dynamic since that night (at my therapist's recommendation) and he left me on read.
I really don’t know what happened here. This guy was SO into me, and only switched immediately and withdrew after the sex on the second date. I’ve never experienced this before and I do feel surprised because of how quickly he pulled away but mostly confused by what happened. Did he lose interest in me because of the sex or was it about his own insecurities? I keep getting conflicting advice. I'm okay with brutal honesty.
TL;DR:

• Met at a party 2 months ago, spoke for 7 hours, fell asleep together, when we made out he *trembled* severely.
• He said he was very intimidated by me. I've been recruited by modeling scouts, and go to an Ivy league school w/ a STEM major, about to go to med school
• He told me multiple times that he’s very insecure, has a big fragile ego, didn’t get girls until he was 17, has body dysmorphia and feels fat, that he was "fugly" until last year only got hot a year ago (he is very attractive now and in great shape), bad fear of rejection, got dumped by his first girlfriend last year and was heartbroken, had a rebound last summer, walked around without a shirt on last summer just so he could get stared at (clearly has a lot of issues). He said he was depressed most of last summer bc he thought he no longer had a positive impact on people's lives and said it's important to him to feel like he brightens the day of everyone who crosses his path.
• Went on his mom's phone to DM his friend to have him DM my friend, so she could text me and let me know he was hospitalized and not just ghosting me (he got hit by a car 5 days after we met). He was concussed and repeating "I have a date w/ a 24 y/o med student" (my friend was there and saw this).
• Made several comments about wanting to please me. a week after we met, he texted "tell me what I need to do to please you, it's the entire job description." (implying he'd be my boyfriend), the second time we made out (1.5 weeks after we met) he trembled badly again and when I asked why he said "I'm nervous and I don't know what you like"
• Was bragging to his friend when we were walking together about how I went to an ivy and am going to med school, sounded so excited and was almost giggly and was pumping his fist when he said it? (When friend asked me where I went to school). Like he sounded almost in awe.
• After the first time we had sex (he got off, I didn't) he said "You're so fucking hot and I just want to do a good job". Was just as enthusiastic and engaged over text between date one and date 2.
• Sex after date 2 went poorly. He slipped out twice (looked embarrassed when I told him), missed the cl**, said "I'm supposed to be good at this" when he couldn't get me off. I was quiet (he said "why are you being so quiet"?), I moved my hands awkwardly and he said "what are you doing?". Then I got on top and did a bad job too (had an anxiety attack from getting high for the first time). I counter-thrusted, couldn't match his rhythm, we had to pause and restart, but he still got off within minutes, I didn't. He said "I had fun" (which he also said after the first time), I said nothing (or maybe "uhuh"). He got completely quiet (and hes never quiet, he hates silence). Next morning he looked awkward, uncomfortable, avoided eye contact, looked taken aback and like he really unprepared for me to kiss him goodbye and he wouldn't even look at me when I got close to him and before/after I kissed him goodbye?
• Texts completely changed after that. He started to withdraw. No longer making an effort to keep the convo going but was polite and friendly. We kept texting for about three weeks (with me initiating all of it), and he ghosted after I asked if we could address the shift in our dynamic that night (this was 1 week ago).

Our texts since our second date: https://imgur.com/a/texts-since-second-date-v2Zwqe1

Hi! I sound like a pick-me TRUST ME. I KNOW. but I’m a 17 year old girl who goes to a VERY small HS. I’m talking MAYBE 250 kids total. The issue is, is that I’ve been pretty damn lonely my whole school life. I’ve never been invited to a birthday party, I’ve never been asked to “hang out” with someone except for 2 people. No ones ever asked me if I wanted to go to the mall or go out somewhere. It sucks! I’m a pretty social person. But idk what I did when I was younger but everyone at my school just seems to have this grudge against me. There would be times where I would ask a question in class and people would just laugh before I would even get my question out! I’m entering my senior year and this sucks! I’m literally crying typing this because I just want to have the high school experience! To top this off. I’ve never had a single date to any school dance. EVER. My school does quite a few of them and never once has anyone asked me to go with them, as a date OR as friends. I’ve never gotten any photos because it just seems sad! Either my mom or I have driven me to all of the school dances. I just want friends! I would say because I’m ugly or because I’m rude. I HOPE none of these are true. In fact, I’ll shove a photo of myself in the comments if it lets me! Idk. But if I could get any advice as to how to make friend. Pleaseeee lmk 💙

I apologize for the length in advance....Honestly, writing down my feelings isn't easy for me, but I'll give it a shot. As a guy, I've always felt like expressing emotions is a waste of time and unwelcome. That's why I turned to Reddit—where no one knows me and I don't have to fear judgment from people in my daily life. I've often felt like my issues aren't as bad as others', so I didn't think I had a place in this thread and just tried to tough it out. I still feel that way, but I think I'll explode if I don't get these thoughts out somewhere.
Growing up, I was always bullied and excluded, which made me feel like I'd never be fully accepted anywhere. I've been considered overweight for most of my life, and people never missed a chance to remind me. Looking in the mirror, I feel disgusted with my body. Whenever I try to start a routine of exercising and eating healthier, it doesn't last because the cruel things people say hold me back. It feels like I'm only trying to lose weight because of them, not for myself. It really hurts to hear comments like, 'I don't want to work with him, he's fat,' or 'You need to lose some weight, you're too big.' These words stick with me, and I just can't seem to lose weight, no matter what I do. Discouragement is always there.
I've always been the one who 'accidentally' wasn't invited to the party or event. I get those lame apologies like, 'I thought you wouldn't want to come' or 'I didn't think you'd be into that.' Sometimes, I wouldn't get invited at all, and everyone would act normal the next day. I've been excluded because of my weight and race, and it's made me ashamed of my background. I feel like so many people are better than me, and that's why I can't be friends with them or get invited to events. Now, I turn down any invites because I always feel like there's a catch or some malicious intent. I'm not used to feeling included, so when it happens, it makes me uncomfortable in the worst way and it sucks.
Growing up, my parents always treated my sister better than me. When she got in trouble, she'd get yelled at or have something taken away. But for me, it was much worse—I’d get yelled at, have things taken away, and get beaten. My father used dress shoes, belts, broomsticks, his hands, and feet on me. My sister never faced that kind of discipline. Some beatings haunt me to this day, making physical affection really hard for me. I remember being beaten until I bled or being thrown against walls. Going to school with visible bruises was humiliating, and even teachers made fun of me sometimes.
My dad would also destroy things I loved as punishment. I vividly remember him breaking my favorite Spider-Man (2002) DVD, threatening to hit me if I tried to stop him. Since then, I haven't watched that movie. He also broke some toys and electronics, making me detach from things I loved because I knew they'd eventually be destroyed. I would cry, be angry, and sad for days, and if I showed it, my dad would give me the "I'll give you something to cry about" lecture. This experience left me feeling powerless and angry with anything I grew to love and cherish.
My younger cousin had to stay with my family as her mother was arrested and she would have been placed in foster care if we had not taken her in. I'm not sure what she was subjected to but she would constantly ask me for sexual favors (I was also a kid at this time as well) and I would turn her down for obvious reasons. Eventually, she became more aggressive and would ask for sexual favors but add ultimatums in which she would tell my parents I was trying to do sexual things to her if I didn't comply. I couldn't tell if this was a joke, so I complied being a dumb kid, and continued to feel so humiliated and violated by my cousin. Thankfully, she was able to leave our house to live with another relative but I never told my parents what went down.
As a teenager, I realized how emotionally unavailable my parents were. Whenever I tried to talk to them about my dark thoughts and feelings, they brushed me off, especially my mom. She’d say I was making it up, being dramatic, acting crazy, or being a psychopath. My dad would make sarcastic remarks or smile like I was a crazy person, telling me to stop the nonsense.
What hurt even more is that both my parents work in mental health. It’s ironic how two mental health professionals could make me feel so invalidated. Whenever I calmly approached them about something they did or said that upset me, they’d gaslight me into thinking I was the problem, especially my mom. She always found ways to make me feel guilty and stupid if I didn’t follow her advice. Saying no in my house was nearly impossible.
For a long time, I believed that my self-hatred and suicidal thoughts were just me being dramatic because my parents made me feel that way. They took my sister’s emotions more seriously. When she had depressive episodes, they’d check on her, but they never did the same for me. My dad even said it was probably because she's a woman and I’m a man, which seemed to be the dynamic in our household.
One time, my sister pulled a knife on me because I called her friend a B-word after being bullied by her. She chased me into the kitchen, pinned me against the counter, and threatened to cut me if I ever insulted her friend again. My dad also chased me with a knife and scissors during heated arguments. When I voiced thoughts about wanting to harm or kill myself, my dad would grab something sharp and say he'd help me do it, while my mom would coldly say, 'Do what you gotta do,' or even claim, 'He's not my son anymore.'
My sister never seemed to care about my mental and emotional health, and my parents seemed to agree with her. She constantly made me feel inferior, saying things like, 'You're not emotionally developed enough to have conversations with me.' This lack of support from my family made me feel even more isolated and desperate.
I used to cut myself, eat gluten (even though I have celiac disease) to cause internal pain and bleeding, and hit myself with objects or my bare hands. I’d punch my thighs or my face until I saw bruises, discoloration, blood, or swelling. I still do this when I feel overwhelmed, as a form of self-punishment. I also yell at myself aggressively because I believed that’s what punishment was. I even broke my own things as a way of saying, 'Do it again, and see what happens.' I thought punishment meant making myself feel miserable and worse about myself, rather than teaching a lesson.
In high school, the bullying continued. People brought up old things to bully me about, and I faced even more racism, being called the N-word and hearing other racist jokes and phrases. Many people told me I should just kill myself and that I was a waste of space. This was when I first seriously considered suicide and started planning it out.
During this time, I met my first girlfriend. She was a bright spot in my life, but then she cheated on me three times with her ex-FWB. With little self-worth or respect, I kept taking her back, letting her disrespectful remarks and actions slide. Yet, she also had moments of being loving, caring, and understanding. I felt trapped because she made me feel understood and cared for. Looking back, it was probably a manipulation tactic.
As an adult, things got even worse. I stayed with my ex-girlfriend for about five years, enduring her cheating, verbal abuse, emotional abuse, and sometimes physical and sexual abuse. She insulted my family and friends, invalidated my feelings, and told me to 'stop crying' and 'be a man' when I was struggling with suicidal thoughts. She’d throw objects at me during arguments and manipulate me into having sex, knowing how desperate I was to stay with her. She even showed her friends pictures of my penis, ignoring how uncomfortable it made me.
One day, I made a harmless joke about always doing her laundry, and she flipped out. We got into a heated argument, and I said some hurtful things, like how I needed medication because of situations like this. We broke up that day, and she slammed her promise ring into my hand.
I was a wreck and tried to patch things up, but she said she wanted to 'experiment' and sleep with other guys. She went on to sleep with many guys and a few girls, and she’d give me detailed rundowns of what she did with each of them. She talked about their "sizes", what they were good at, and things she experienced with them. It crushed me and destroyed my sexual confidence, making me feel like I was never good enough.
This relationship left me more self-conscious about my body than ever. I was diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Major Depressive Disorder, Panic Disorder, Social Anxiety Disorder, and ADHD. I've tried various medications to find what works, and I'm still figuring it out.
Eventually, I hit my breaking point and decided to overdose on my antidepressants. After taking them, I collapsed, feeling my heart race, and my body heat up, and struggled to stay awake. My parents saw what was happening and just stayed with me in my room instead of taking me to the hospital. I could have died that night, and maybe I should have because if my parents would leave me to die, how can I believe anyone cares about me?
A few weeks later, I tried to OD again. This time, no one saw, and I passed out, waking up hours later, still alive. I felt like I couldn't even kill myself correctly, and it made me wonder how I could do anything right. I started distancing myself from friends, going months without talking to them. Even though it hurts, I feel like their lives are better without me in them.
I have a few things going for me right now, but it's gotten to the point where I'd give it all up just to stop the pain. I'm almost done with my MBA, I have money saved up, a new girlfriend who's much better than my ex, good friends, and a family. But no matter how hard I try, I can't feel happy.
I've tried seeking professional help, but it hasn't worked out. Therapists either don't pay attention, like one who was on her phone during most of our sessions, or they keep canceling on me. It feels like no one wants to help.
Right now, I still feel the same way, stuck in the same patterns, and the only solution I see is ending my life. I've prayed to God many times, and I believe He hears me. I don't blame Him for any of this, but I hope one day I can experience happiness and the positive feelings people talk about. At this point, I think only God can help me, but it feels like it'll never happen in my lifetime.
I don't feel like I have anyone to turn to or vent to. It seems like I only have myself to rely on, and maybe that's just how it's supposed to be. I really hope my day of death comes soon because I can't keep living like this. I'm isolating myself from friends, my partner, and family. I feel like a waste of space, not good enough for anyone or anything. I believe I'll always be nothing, a loser, fat, and ugly. Sometimes, it's just not in the cards to be 'somebody' in life, and that's the sad truth for me. I honestly don't know what else to do or say.

I (27/F) have been dating my boyfriend (24/M) for just under 4 months. My last relationship was a marriage that lasted for 7 years and was loveless on my husband’s part for quite awhile but it still shattered me when it ended. Luckily there were no children involved. In this new relationship it has felt amazing to feel so cared for. I forgot what it was like for someone to choose me and enjoy spending time with me. We get along really well.
I met his parents when they came into town about a month ago and it was a delight. They are the sweetest! They paid for dinner and his mom gave me her jacket because it was a bit chilly. Their family is going to an event at the end of the month and they invited me, even offering to pay for my plane ticket and event ticket! It feels overwhelmingly generous. I don’t have a whole lot of extra spending money but I could easily pay for the ticket if I needed to.
Should I offer to pay them back or should I let them pay for these things? If I let them pay what can I do/bring them to show my appreciation?
Thank you! I would really appreciate some advice, not only on this but just correct etiquette in general!

Good evening my fellow nuzlockers, I have come with a possible nuzlocke variant that I think could be potentially fun... or potentially atrocious. Balancing help would be appreciated, and a majority of this was with the Universal Pokemon Randomizer Settings in mind. And yes, this is based on Survivor the show.

1. Standard Hardcore rules (first pokemon each route, level caps)
2. Randomize your starters
3. Randomize opponent's teams
4. No buying from PokeMarts or any other shop, except for the following locations:
   • Two Island (Kanto), CinnabaSafari Zone (Johto), Slateport (Hoenn), Celestic (Sinnoh), Driftveil Market (Unova), Aquacorde (Kalos), Thrifty Megamart (Alola), Hulbury shops (Galar), Porto Marinada (Paldea)
     • Yes, it's imbalanced, but inspired by the Auction from Survivor, which could basically happen anytime post-merge. Thematics!
5. You obtain one "TM Idol" per gym badge: you cannot pick up any TMs unless you spend one of these, barring field moves such as Dig, Flash, etc. This rule does not apply to TMs given by trainers or NPCs.
6. You can only carry pokemon in your party equal to the next Gym leader's ace +1
7. When you defeat a leader, you must faint one pokemon in your party. The only exception to this is if a pokemon was fainted during the fight itself, in which this rule does not apply.
8. You must name your rival Probst, if applicable
9. And my most controversial rule: HM Slaves do not exist, unless you are out of living pokemon that can use HMs.

Some optional rules I had in mind as well:

1. Make opponent's teams type themed
2. Make your own team themed; monotype only, can only start with vowels or a specific letter, or have a certain primary color on it
3. Replace rule 7 with a Cagelocke match if playing with another person.
   1. You may choose whether the fighters are random, selected by your opponent simultaneously, or standard cagelocke. Winner gets an additional TM Idol

These are the primary rules I had in mind to basically capture the "essence" of Survivor! I would very much appreciate helpful tips to make things a bit more fair, or additional rules if you somehow think it's too easy!

제목 A Company Commander in South Korean Army Kills a Trainee by Giving Cruel and Brutal Punishments that Violate the Guidelines
Dear [언론사 이름] Team,
I am writing to drop a tip about a devastating event that occurred at the 12th infantry division of the South Korean army, as the title reads, and how the government and relevant bodies are behaving irresponsibly about the incident. This email will encompass the circumstances that lead to the trainee's death and how the problematic company commander is yet NOT being interrogated and resting at home instead.
Less than 10 days after entering the camp, 6 trainees were called out on 23rd May 2024 by a company commander for "talking" during personal maintenance time, generally considered free time, last night. As ridiculous as it may sound, those trainees were punished for "talking" during free time.
The punishment under boiling sun lasted for around 3 hours and involved having each trainee in full kit made to weigh 40kg with extra items such as books added for the whole duration, doing reps around the drill ground, push ups and running race. Officers were reported that one of the trainees(Tae-In Park) collapsed and they believed the trainee was faking his condition. Park was made to continue with the punishment and showed several signs of unwellness prior to passing out 40 minutes after it started. Instead of immediate hospitalisation, he was left for tens of minutes before being found and taken to the infirmary at 17:20 KST. Park's breath rate and body temperature were 50/min and 40.5 degrees celsius, respectively after he was transferred to a public hospital, Gangwon-do Sokcho Medical Center, by AFMC(The Armed Force Medical Command) at 18:50 KST. It was confirmed he got Rhabdomyolysis, muscle damage caused by overexertion and excessive peaking of body temperature. His condition only worsened despite 2~3 hours of treatments and he was moved to Gangneung Asan Hospital while unconscious. Although renal dialysis was carried out to address the muscle meltdown, Park passed away 2 days after further deterioration of his condition during the treatment due to septic shock on 25th May 2024.
It is crystal clear and not debatable that the commander has committed a cruel murder.
The aforementioned form of punishment has turned out to be against the guidelines in the manual in accord to the words from figures involved in the military and the press.
Surprisingly, the commander requested for a break, got it approved and is resting well at home till this day instead of being asked to attend a thorough investigation and be sentenced for life right away. On behalf of this commander, the 5 surviving victims of the punishment got heavily investigated.
Park's funeral was held on 30th May 2024 where President Suk-Yeol Yoon was not present. Instead, he was drinking beer at the People's Power Party workshop. On the next morning, the 12th infantry division, where Park served at, conducted a "Smile Exercise" where trainees and all other attendees would be asked to clap and smile loudly. So many people over here in South Korea are lost for words about this. Definitely not a way to show condolences to Park's family.
I greatly appreciate your kind time and attention to this email.
It has now been over 10 days since we lost this poor young soul. Please help shed light on this matter and let the world know.
Kindest Regards,
[제보자 이름]
제보합시다

Hi everyone,
I’m trying to see if anyone has had any experience dealing with Western Union and “chargebacks” from fraudulent transactions. I’m not seeking out real attorneys to handle my case, just insight.
Long story short, someone hacked into my WU account that had my bank account linked, an they stole over 7k. I called the WU fraud helpline as soon as I saw it and they instructed me to file a police report and to call my bank since they could not refund me as the money had already been picked up. I called the police and filed a case (and even gave the case number to my bank as well as WU) and thankfully, my bank refunded me all the money that was lost the following week. Just when I thought the nightmare was over, I get a letter in the mail from WU saying the following:
“Dear ___,
WesternUnion is providing the following details to support the recovery of funds for the money transfer services provided through westernunion.com. The following information was used to create the profile (my previous email that was on file with my phone number)
We received a claim from your bank after the money had already been paid out to the receiving party, as a result, WesternUnion is unpaid for its service to you.”
So basically, WesternUnion is saying that I still owe them the amount that I reported to be fraudulent activity, and when I called them to ask what this letter was and why it was saying I still owed them, they mentioned it was because my bank did a “chargeback” in order to refund me my loss, which meant the money was coming from WU and not my bank, and I guess they’re not happy about it. I mean, it makes sense to me that they’d do a chargeback because the fraudulent activity was from someone hacking into my WU account, so why the heck would I pay them back for services I did NOT use or authorize.
The whole thing mind boggles me. I was told by my bank that I had nothing else to worry about, and now this happens, so I’m just curious if anyone else has experienced this situation or something similar, or if anyone had advice on what my next move should be. The person I just spoke to at WU asked me to ask the police if they have been in contact with WesternUnion about the investigation or if they sent them the police report (even though I’ve given them the file number) and basically, just let my bank and the police talk to Western Union to handle it, but I just don’t trust it at this point. I’m trying to document everything I can and Im even thinking I should even go as far as looking into lawyers for consultation but I’m afraid that will cost a lot of money. It just seems as if WesternUnion won’t be holding themselves accountable for the money that was lost, so any insight would be appreciated.

TL;DR at the bottom
Met at a party 2 months ago, spoke for 7 hours, fell asleep together, when we made out he *trembled* severely(he was the one who very nervously initiated the first kiss, with a shaky voice). He said he was very intimidated by me (I've been recruited by modeling scouts, and go to an Ivy league school w/ a STEM major, about to go to med school), he got my number the next day and we were texting non stop.
He told me multiple times that he’s very insecure, has a big fragile ego, didn’t get girls until he was 17, has body dysmorphia and feels fat, that he was "fugly" until last year only got hot a year ago (he is very attractive now and in great shape), bad fear of rejection (told me he never would have made the first move with me), got dumped by his first girlfriend last year and was heartbroken, had a rebound last summer, walked around without a shirt on last summer just so he could get stared at (clearly has a lot of issues). He said he was depressed most of last summer bc he thought he no longer had a positive impact on people's lives and said it's important to him to feel like he brightens the day of everyone who crosses his path.
A few days after we met, he reached out to me from the hospital after being in a bad accident and being severely injured (went on his mom's phone to DM his friend to have him DM my friend so she can text me and let me know he was hospitalized and not ghosting me) (just to give you an idea of how much he was into me) just so I didn't think I was being ghosted. He was asking the nurses for me bc he thought I worked in the hospital. A mutual friend was there and he said this guy just kept repeating "I have a date with a 24 y/o med student". He was concussed and had a fractured spine.
Five days after we met he said "tell me what I need to do to make you happy, it's the entire job description" (implying he'd be my boyfriend). When I asked why he was trembling the second time we made out he said "I'm nervous and I don't know what you like".
The next day he came to a pregame at his friends' place for a party that he wasn't invited to (but he had my name put on the list) just so he could walk me to the party. Initially, he was shy and avoiding eye contact, and was talking to my friend instead of me (she told me later that he was looking at me when I wasn't looking). He introduced me to a bunch of his friends. I had to be the one who initiated hand holding and kisses, and he eventually warmed up a lot more and got comfortable. On the walk to the party he was bragging to his friend about me going to an Ivy and going to med school and sounded SO genuinely excited about it, like he was pumping his fist, almost giggling about it, and there as a skip in his step (like he seemed in awe of this).
Next day, after the sex after the first date, he said "you're so fucking hot and I just want to do a good job". Next day he texted me and said the date was "AMAZING" and "I hope you had anywhere as much fun as I did"
He said "I'm supposed to be good at this" when he couldn't get me off during the second time we had sex (after the second date), but I did a bad job as well (had an anxiety attack) and did not match his rhythm when I was on top (I was counter thrusting, we had to pause and restart a few times, but he still got off within a couple minutes, I didn't) I was quiet too (mentally checked out from the anxiety attack) and he nervously said "why are you being so quiet"?, I moved my hands awkwardly, and he asked "what are you doing?" twice lol
However, before the sex and on the way home from the second date, He was holding my hand, playing his favorite music for me on the ride back to his place, laughing and calling me so cute when I was hiccuping right before the sex. We had that awkward sex (he slipped out twice, couldn’t find the cl**, he got off, I didn't, he said "I had fun" right after, I said nothing (or might've said "uhuh"), he got very quiet (he hates silence and normally never shuts up, complete yapper), avoided eye contact with me next morning, looked taken aback/uncomfortable when I kissed him goodbye. Was not nearly as affectionate overnight as he was after the first time we had sex. All he said the next morning was "do you have your earrings".
I will say on the second date (this was in the midst of finals), he did seem more intent on sex and focused on making out with me/having sex with me and was different from the first date (trying to get to know me more). He made a lot of effort to keep in touch with me and was highly engaged and enthusiastic in text between date 1 and 2 during a very stressful time for him finals (texted me from therapy). Over text over the past weeks he was making a lot of effort to get to know me and to keep the convo going.
Next day he texted me thanking me for the night before and said he had a lot of fun, but from then on, his texts were not at all as engaging as they used to be. He used to put a lot of effort into keeping the convo going, but he stopped doing that, was just replying to my texts. He did tell me on the second date that when he loses interest in someone he will respond politely but not ghost and not initiate any texts, which is what he started doing after that night, but he was oscillating between being engaged and withdrawn over text too.
He texted "Hopefully I'll see you some other time" after I cancelled our previously scheduled third date/party invite (for a legit reason and he knew that too) and I just hearted it but did not respond to it and asked when I could drop off his sunglasses. From then on, mixed signals and delayed responses from both sides. I did text him a week later explaining I had an anxiety attack that night and to apologize for being checked out that night, but he already pulled away by then and his tone turned from playful and silly to more distant and formal. A week after that I asked him to ice cream and he said he really wanted to, but again sounded dismissive and avoidant and just said "i'll let you know" and didn't pick a date.
He was replying to my texts promptly until I asked to have a talk, and he left me on delivered 14 days ago. 7 days ago I sent him a very vulnerable and open message saying I felt self-conscious about what happened that night and if we could address the shift in our dynamic since that night (at my therapist's recommendation) and he left me on read.
I really don’t know what happened here. This guy was SO into me, and only switched immediately and withdrew after the sex on the second date. I’ve never experienced this before and I do feel surprised because of how quickly he pulled away but mostly confused by what happened. Did he lose interest in me because of the sex or was it about his own insecurities? I keep getting conflicting advice. I'm okay with brutal honesty.
TL;DR:

• Met at a party 2 months ago, spoke for 7 hours, fell asleep together, when we made out he *trembled* severely.
• He said he was very intimidated by me. I've been recruited by modeling scouts, and go to an Ivy league school w/ a STEM major, about to go to med school
• He told me multiple times that he’s very insecure, has a big fragile ego, didn’t get girls until he was 17, has body dysmorphia and feels fat, that he was "fugly" until last year only got hot a year ago (he is very attractive now and in great shape), bad fear of rejection, got dumped by his first girlfriend last year and was heartbroken, had a rebound last summer, walked around without a shirt on last summer just so he could get stared at (clearly has a lot of issues). He said he was depressed most of last summer bc he thought he no longer had a positive impact on people's lives and said it's important to him to feel like he brightens the day of everyone who crosses his path.
• Went on his mom's phone to DM his friend to have him DM my friend, so she could text me and let me know he was hospitalized and not just ghosting me (he got hit by a car 5 days after we met). He was concussed and repeating "I have a date w/ a 24 y/o med student" (my friend was there and saw this).
• Made several comments about wanting to please me. a week after we met, he texted "tell me what I need to do to please you, it's the entire job description." (implying he'd be my boyfriend), the second time we made out (1.5 weeks after we met) he trembled badly again and when I asked why he said "I'm nervous and I don't know what you like"
• Was bragging to his friend when we were walking together about how I went to an ivy and am going to med school, sounded so excited and was almost giggly and was pumping his fist when he said it? (When friend asked me where I went to school). Like he sounded almost in awe.
• After the first time we had sex (he got off, I didn't) he said "You're so fucking hot and I just want to do a good job". Was just as enthusiastic and engaged over text between date one and date 2.
• Sex after date 2 went poorly. He slipped out twice (looked embarrassed when I told him), missed the cl**, said "I'm supposed to be good at this" when he couldn't get me off. I was quiet (he said "why are you being so quiet"?), I moved my hands awkwardly and he said "what are you doing?". Then I got on top and did a bad job too (had an anxiety attack from getting high for the first time). I counter-thrusted, couldn't match his rhythm, we had to pause and restart, but he still got off within minutes, I didn't. He said "I had fun" (which he also said after the first time), I said nothing (or maybe "uhuh"). He got completely quiet (and hes never quiet, he hates silence). Next morning he looked awkward, uncomfortable, avoided eye contact, looked taken aback and like he really unprepared for me to kiss him goodbye and he wouldn't even look at me when I got close to him and before/after I kissed him goodbye?
• Texts completely changed after that. He started to withdraw. No longer making an effort to keep the convo going but was polite and friendly. We kept texting for about three weeks, and he ghosted after I asked if we could address the shift in our dynamic that night (this was 1 week ago). I did reach out a couple times after that date and asked him to ice cream once, but he still sounded a bit avoidant and dismissive.

Our texts since our second date: https://imgur.com/a/texts-since-second-date-v2Zwqe1

My wife (40F) and I (43M) have been together for 12 years. Several years ago, I chose to be selfish and deeply hurt my wife by sleeping with a coworker during a rough patch in our marriage. Since then, we have worked through this together with the help of a counsellor and now our relationship is stronger than it has ever been.
My wife’s sister was cheated on too and she left her husband and got divorced. Her husband had a full-blown affair that lasted several months compared to my one night stand, which I acknowledge doesn’t make my actions any less hurtful to my wife, but it was an important factor for my wife to consider forgiving me. As for my SIL, the betrayal her husband did to her causes her to project a lot of her own emotions and turmoil on our relationship. And she copes with her loss by making snide remarks to my wife about me, how she’s (my wife) weak for not leaving me and how terrible I am. I’ve never taken it personally and neither has my wife (at least not now at all), because we both recognise that our relationship is not the same as she had with her husband and therefore I choose to give her grace and disengage when things get sour.
Three days ago was my wife’s birthday, and I arranged a party for her and invited some friends and family, including my SIL. I was about to present the gift I got her and before everyone, I asked her “Can you guess what I have for you?” playfully. Before my wife had the chance to speak, SIL made a snide remark in front of everyone to me that the best birthday gift she could receive would be me turning back time and undoing what I did to her. Some of our mutual friends who didn’t know about our past were also there and this angered me. I tried to keep my cool and said I have compassion for how her own betrayal hurts her even today. And I am grateful for the compassion my wife had for me, so much compassion that she chose to look past of her own pain, in order to forgive me, because she loves me. She’s my best friend, and my favourite person, and if she didn’t feel the same towards me, it wouldn’t make sense for her to find a way to forgive me, which she did. She’s not weak (that SIL constantly implies she is), she’s an incredibly strong woman to forgive someone who caused her so much pain in the first place. And it’s very telling of her good character. And I know it’s her birthday today, but the gift of forgiveness from her is a gift she keeps giving, and how grateful I am to have her as my wife. My wife cried with joy and we kissed. While SIL looked like she could kill me with her stares.
I know it looks very sappy in this post, but it made perfect sense to both of us, and it made our night more beautiful.
This really pissed off SIL and she ran off from the party, but not before telling my wife I’ve made her feel like shit and a weak person for choosing to leave a marriage because of infidelity. She said I humiliated her and implied through my words that her love for her own ex husband wasn’t valid and I was trying to shame her for her choices by hyping up my wife’s choice.
I mean, I’m just trying to understand if this was a bad way of dealing with her at this party or if I could’ve done anything else. Yes, a part of me genuinely wanted to shut her down (I mean who wouldn’t, I’m human too) but what I expressed for my wife was sincere and true.
So AITAH?

I am getting rinsed by the nameless puppet lol I got the first part down, w most perfect party but 2nd phase I can’t even find the time to attack or heal the weapon
Previous post has build, if anyone has tips….it’d be much appreciated. I’m on like 5 hours on this boss and I don’t want to give the heart lol

Early 30s couple looking to book second Sandals trip in Jan 2025. We spent a week at Ochi in April 2023 for our honeymoon and loved it. Not big into party scene and just looking for a quiet, relaxing week getaway (both work very high stress jobs 80+ hours per week). It’s possible we may also be pregnant at that time as we are actively trying. Neither big into alcohol but we do enjoy the wine, champagne, fruity cocktails and he is an old fashioned fan (if I’m not pregnant obviously). Otherwise we could take or leave the spirits and night life. Trying to stick to about $6.5-7k not including flights and prefer butler level. I have looked into other AI too but keep coming back to sandals for the 24 hour food service, butler, and convenience. Any thoughts would be appreciated!

Hi everyone,
I’m trying to see if anyone has had any experience dealing with Western Union and “chargebacks” from fraudulent transactions.
Long story short, someone hacked into my WU account that had my bank account linked, an they stole over 7k. I called the WU fraud helpline as soon as I saw it and they instructed me to file a police report and to call my bank since they could not refund me as the money had already been picked up. I called the police and filed a case (and even gave the case number to my bank as well as WU) and thankfully, my bank refunded me all the money that was lost the following week. Just when I thought the nightmare was over, I get a letter in the mail from WU saying the following:
“Dear ___,
WesternUnion is providing the following details to support the recovery of funds for the money transfer services provided through westernunion.com. The following information was used to create the profile (my previous email that was on file with my phone number)
We received a claim from your bank after the money had already been paid out to the receiving party, as a result, WesternUnion is unpaid for its service to you.”
So basically, WesternUnion is saying that I still owe them the amount that I reported to be fraudulent activity, and when I called them to ask what this letter was and why it was saying I still owed them, they mentioned it was because my bank did a “chargeback” in order to refund me my loss, which meant the money was coming from WU and not my bank, and I guess they’re not happy about it. I mean, it makes sense to me that they’d do a chargeback because the fraudulent activity was from someone hacking into my WU account, so why the heck would I pay them back for services I did NOT use or authorize.
The whole thing mind boggles me. I was told by my bank that I had nothing else to worry about, and now this happens, so I’m just curious if anyone else has experienced this situation or something similar, or if anyone had advice on what my next move should be. The person I just spoke to at WU asked me to ask the police if they have been in contact with WesternUnion about the investigation or if they sent them the police report (even though I’ve given them the file number) and basically, just let my bank and the police talk to Western Union to handle it, but I just don’t trust it at this point. I’m trying to document everything I can and Im even thinking I should even go as far as looking into lawyers for consultation but I’m afraid that will cost a lot of money. It just seems as if WesternUnion won’t be holding themselves accountable for the money that was lost, so any insight would be appreciated.

23m. Got blindsided and cheated on after 3 years as of a month and a half ago. Time has made it slightly better but I'm still in such a deep depression because we lived together and I was really happy. My friends found her dating accounts the day after she dumped me and I found out she had cheated on me with her co worker at a party a week before she dumped me. I've found it extremely hard to do anything since it ended, I mostly rot. Video games, sports, even eating have all lost their luster I can't bring myself to do anything whether it's something I normally enjoy or not. Just knowing she's bringing hookups over to the apartment we had built together haunts me. I can't sleep I haven't gotten more than 5 hours since the breakup and I have horrible nightmares. Any advice would be much appreciated because I know what I have to do. Find new hobbies, gym, hike etc but I can't bring myself to do anything. I have extreme ADHD as well so that has not helped me stop rotting either. I feel dead inside, I really wanted her to be the one. I loved her so much and as much as I hate it I still do but I know even if she came back I could never take her back

Hey all! Drew from Midnite Hellion here. I'm new to Reddit so please bear with me 😂.
I've caught a bunch of great comments about us, and wanted to offer a general thanks to everyone! Glad to see people are enjoying what we have to offer on record and live when we're on tour!
So, we're a trio - bass/vocals, guitar, drums. We're looking to add members as our new songs are going to need more than one guitarist to execute it live.
Also, we're going to expand vocally. Our vocalist, Rich, will still sing, just not lead to also allow him to focus more on the bass.
In short - title says it all! Looking for a lead guitarist and lead singer!
We're based in NJ. Potential members do not need to be, but at least he in the US. Closer to Jersey is ideal of course, but we can make it work!
Must be able to tour, must have a passport.
Interested parties, please get in touch with me here, comment, DM, or email (drew@midnitehellion.com). Any and all suggestions are greatly appreciated. Thanx in advance!!