I’m aware that this is unconventional. Believe me, I’ve tried conventional – it didn’t end well for anyone. I require a certain open mindedness that I’m hoping I might find here, but more importantly, I need my future husband to know the rules. Meet-cutes are well and good on the screen, but they don’t guarantee a partner’s ability to follow basic instructions. That was my mistake the first time.
So, begging your pardon for my bluntness, I’m going to be clear about my requirements. Please read carefully – if you can’t meet them, there’s no point in going any further.

• Must want children. At least one child, anyway. I’m open to the idea of more, but one is an absolute must.
• Must be in it for the long haul. Until our child turns eighteen, to be precise. I understand that level of commitment is a daunting prospect, particularly when we have not yet met. After our child is born, you are welcome to ignore me, if you please, or take your pleasure elsewhere – though I will warn you that it might be difficult to come by. But you will live under my roof until our child is an adult.
• Homebody preferred. It will make the next two decades easier on you.
• Must have impeccable manners. I will provide a manual outlining the required etiquette, but you must at least have a grasp of basic courtesy to begin with. If you let your tongue run away with you, or don’t bother to wish your neighbours a good morning when you pass them in the street, stop reading – this is not the opportunity for you. Seriously.

This is the part where I should talk about myself, but let’s face it, this is hardly a romantic proposal. I require commitment up-front and there’s no guarantee that, once we do meet, we’ll really even like each other. If we do? Fantastic! It’ll help the years fly by. If we don’t, you’ll still have the main prize – years of rent-free, expenses-free living at The Old Oak Hotel.
A sanctuary has stood in this spot in one form or another since before the ley lines. During its tenure, it has been flooded, put to the flame, and pounded into dust. Time and again, it has been reimagined and rebuilt. Most of the current building dates back to Victoria’s reign, though the oldest parts were constructed in the 13^th century. At the very bottom of the garden, cut into the surrounding hills, there is a cave bearing handprints of red ochre.
There has always been an Edwards at the hotel, though of course we haven’t always gone by that name. You would think a family so tied to one place would do a better job of keeping records, but no one is certain of our origins. Perhaps it was a cosmic bargain, or perhaps mere luck – whether good or bad, I have never been able to decide. Either way, our presence is required. Throughout our spotty past, there’s a story here and there of an Edwards deserting their post, and it always coincides with a particularly brutal period of history.
I inherited the position five years ago. At midnight on my eighteenth birthday, my parents took their already-packed suitcases and left. I don’t blame them for their abandonment; I intend to one day do the same thing to my – or, hopefully, our – child.
They send me postcards and photos from time-to-time, always smiling on sunny beaches. Money isn’t a concern for them. That’s part of whatever mysterious deal our ancestors made – when a caretaker leaves in good-standing, they will never want for anything again. They could travel the world for the rest of their lives, always sleeping in the softest sheets and dining in the finest restaurants, and never find their pockets empty.
Keep this point in mind, for if you can meet my requirements, you will share my good fortune.
And what must we do in return? I can all but hear you scream the question. Why, very little. The presence of an Edwards ensures that the guests can’t stray from the hotel grounds. Most of our guests are live-in residents, though we do get the occasional walk-in. Where they come from, I don’t know, for we are not visible to most people who stumble upon our lonely corner of the world. I’ve come to believe the hotel chooses to reveal itself when its lacking entertainment, or to fill a need.
Jimmy, my first husband, was one such guest.
For the most part, the guests are harmless. They’ll give you a little fright from time-to-time, popping out from a wall or turning your bathwater into blood, but I find it hard to hold it against them. I’ve found twenty-three years here dreary; I can’t imagine how bored I would be after five hundred.
There are a few exceptions you should be aware of:

• Eric. Our resident serial murderer. He claims to have been Jack the Ripper while he still drew breath, but I think he’s just a blowhard. He knows better than to harm an Edwards, but I’m afraid spouses are fair game. Years ago, my grandmother managed to confine him to the fourth floor, so you will be perfectly safe from him as long as you never set foot there. Occasionally, the lift will stop on that floor even though you haven’t pressed the button for it. Do not get out. Even if the lift appears to be on fire or starts filling with murky water. Wait for the doors to close again, then go to another floor. It should only take a few hours.
• The Thing in the Cellar. I don’t know what It is; no one ever has. We only know It eats rats and must be fed once a day. If I’m ever ill or incapacitated, this task will fall to you. Harvest the rats from the traps in the garden, then stand at the cellar door and throw them down the stairs. Do not walk down the stairs and do not forget to feed It. You don’t want to be the first person to see Its’ face.
• Mrs Jones. Old fashioned and a stickler for manners, she’s the reason I’m advertising for a husband rather than a boyfriend. She won’t abide a couple living in sin under the same roof as her. Really, though, she’s a sweet old thing. Full of stories about the war and always ready to help if I get stuck on a recipe. I don’t blame her for what happened with Jimmy at all. I’d warned him enough times.

Guests aside, there are other rules you will need to follow to ensure a safe, satisfactory stay at The Old Oak Hotel. They are listed in a book that has been re-penned many times over the centuries. If you choose to accept this opportunity, I will insist that you read it until you can recite the pages word-for-word.
However, there are some rules so critical for your survival that I feel compelled to list them here:

• With the exception of the fourth floor, you are welcome to roam the hotel and its grounds as you please. But you must never set foot outside of our land – not until our child is old enough to fulfil their duties. If I were to do so, it would unleash pandemonium – plague, peril, perhaps another world war. I’m afraid you would be less crucial to the fate of the world, but it would certainly be a personal disaster.
• Never look in the mirrors in room 33.
• I’ve touched this point already, but it bears repeating: never be rude to Mrs Jones.

Failure to observe that last rule is what got Jimmy.
She doted on him. I think he reminded her of her long-dead son, for she pampered him as if he were one of her own. Each morning, she had breakfast ready for him before I had so much as opened my eyes, and she developed a habit of trailing along after him, complimenting his skill as he oiled rusted hinges or set a crooked picture straight.
At first, Jimmy basked in the attention. But by the end of his second month, he was growing bored of Mrs Jones, me, and the hotel itself. We pride ourselves on our facilities. If you need more activity than a turn around the garden, we have a lovely indoor pool – it freezes over every now and then, but most of the time it’s perfectly usable. Our library is unmatched. Although the room is cramped, it has every book imaginable; you only need to think of a particular title, and it will appear on one of the shelves. And now that I’ve dragged us kicking and screaming into the 21^st century, we have a wide array of streaming services.
It wasn’t enough for Jimmy. He wanted to go out – eat in a restaurant, watch a film in the cinema, see any faces other than the ones he was surrounded by every day. He began having a drink each evening. One drink turned into several, and after a few weeks, the bar became his permanent residence between dusk and midnight.
He wasn’t the only one getting bored. I had been thrilled when he first arrived; ecstatic when he agreed to stay. How marvellous to feel real flesh beneath my fingers after five years of only the dead for company. What a relief to have some assistance in the many tasks required to keep the hotel running as it should.
The more he drank, the less inclined he was to help – or even spend time in my company. He no longer visited my bed, choosing a room for himself on the opposite end of the floor. When our paths did cross, at best he would ignore me. At worst, he would nitpick or outright rail against me, blaming me for his captivity.
Still, I made an effort to be present whenever he frequented the bar. As lovely as Mrs Jones can be, she does have a tendency to nag. Before and after her death, she was close to teetotal, only consenting to take a single sherry at Christmas, and drinking outside of special occasions is something of a bugbear of hers.
“Think of your health, dear,” she would tell Jimmy brusquely. “You’ll miss it when it’s gone.”
Or, “How about we switch to a nice apple juice now? You’ve had quite enough to drink for one night.”
Most of the time, Jimmy managed to pull himself together enough to flash a charming smile and distract her with a compliment about her latest meal. But after one drink too many, I’d noticed him gritting his teeth and just barely managing to hold his tongue.
It was better if I was present. Playing the doting wife, I insisted on pouring his drinks, watering them down out of his sight. When Mrs Jones’s nagging bordered on relentless, I could always distract her with a game of gin rummy.
On his final day, I was running behind. The ghoul on the second floor – usually the least demanding of our guests – had come down with some dreadful illness, or else decided he wanted to inconvenience me. Either way, I had woken that morning to the foulest stench I had ever experienced. I followed it to his room and found every surface covered in putrid green-blank gunge, its consistency somewhere between mucus and vomit.
All day I scrubbed, taking only brief breaks to step outside before I fainted. By the time the room was restored to a passable state, and I had filled several bin bags to bursting with filthy rags, it was already deep into the night. Mindful of the time, I paused only long enough to wash the streaks of muck from my arms and face before racing to the bar.
I arrived just in time to hear Jimmy’s last words. After he spat them at Mrs Jones, she only stared for a small eternity, her mouth frozen in the motherly smile she wore whenever she scolded him.
Then, like melted wax, her face began to shift.
I shouted at Jimmy to run, but he didn’t need to be told. Before the words left my mouth, he leapt from his barstool and streaked through the door. Mrs Jones followed him seconds later. Her lips were already peeling back to reveal rows upon rows of long, wickedly sharp fangs, while claws sprouted from beneath her lace-edged cuffs.
I sprinted after them, but Jimmy was fuelled by fear and Mrs Jones by whatever force propels the Mrs Joneses of the world. I followed the screeching to the lobby. Breathless, I arrived to see he had arrived within mere feet of the entrance before Mrs Jones grabbed him.
Claws wrapped around his throat, she lifted him into the air. As I watched, her jaw unhinged, the lower part dropping so that it was nearly level with her chest.
That sight drove all the sense out of my head. Forgetting every rule my parents had ever drilled into me, I lunged at her.
She batted me away as though I weighed no more than a fly.
I crashed into the reception desk, the breath bursting from my lungs in a great woosh. I was certain that I would die, for no amount of effort seemed to force air back into my aching chest. At last, as my vision began to dim, I managed to take a small gulp – then another, and another, until I was able to draw myself together enough to regain my feet.
By that time, Mrs Jones had nearly finished her dinner. Jimmy’s chest was splayed open, muscle and shattered ribs protruding every which way from his flesh, and she was devouring the last few bites of his heart.
His head was angled towards me. The light had winked out from his eyes, but they still held his final terror – and an accusation which, I was quite certain, was directed at me. I would like to say I felt only horror, but I couldn’t help my sudden jolt of irritation. How may times had I told him to mind his manners?
Mrs Jones gulped, the sound thick and wet in her gullet, and dropped what remained of Jimmy to the floor.
Then she turned to me.
Here’s another rule for you, one which I hope you never have cause to use: never interfere with a kill.
The Mrs Jones who used to kiss my grazed knees, who argued with my mother for the right to read me bedtime stories, was no longer at the wheel. No amount of pleading or reasoning would move her.
I could only run.
Spinning around, I vaulted over the reception desk and raced for the office behind it. If Jimmy had not been out of his mind with fear and booze, he might have remembered the rules and survived; it was one of several staff-only rooms throughout the hotel warded to keep out unwanted guests.
Just ten steps from desk to door, yet it was the longest journey of my life. My hard-won breath burned my throat; my heart pounded in my ears, deafening me to all other sounds than Mrs Jones’s heavy, pounding footsteps.
Grasping the handle, her hot, copper-tanged breath was on my neck. Fire exploded in my flesh as she raked her claws down my back. A step further away, and I wouldn’t have made it; the pain would have been too great. But I managed to throw myself into the office and slam the door before crumpling to the ground.
Before I passed out, I heard her grunting and shrieking outside, furious that she couldn’t get in.
Three days I spent in the office, emerging only to feed The Thing in the Cellar before scurrying back to my hiding place. Whenever I left, I tried not to look at the mangled heap that used to be Jimmy. There was no avoiding the smell, though.
With no small difficulty, and the help of a first aid kit, I managed to treat and bandage the wounds on my back. They bled sluggishly all throughout the first day, but thankfully didn’t fester.
On the morning of the fourth day, there was a tentative knock on the door followed by the sound of rapidly retreating footsteps. I waited until they had disappeared down the corridor before cracking the door open. On the floor was a freshly baked Victoria sponge and a beautifully written note of apology.
It took every ounce of courage I possessed, but that evening I forced myself to go to the dining room. Mrs Jones was waiting for me, her eyes red-rimmed, a steaming cottage pie on the table. I tried not to flinch as she took my hand, re-iterating the apology she had already delivered in writing.
The next morning, she helped me clean Jimmy up.
We treated each other cautiously for a while, but eventually we got back to playing gin rummy again. When the scars on my back twinge, as they sometimes do, she helps me rub a soothing ointment into them. Even though I’ve told her it’s not necessary, she apologises every time.
So, you’ve heard my story and you have my proposal. If you think you could be the man for me, I invite you to visit. You will need to drink a cup of ram’s blood (a pinch of nutmeg makes it a little more tolerable) and light a black candle before bedtime. When you next wake, you will find yourself at our gates. As travel arrangements go, it’s hardly the Orient Express, but it beats the airfare.
If you have read this without flinching, if you can stomach the journey to get here, if you walk up to our door and find the nerve to open it, I have one more instruction for you.
Just as you enter, look to your right. You will see a deep brown stain on the lobby carpet. I’ve scrubbed and scrubbed but it just won’t come out. Perhaps that’s for the best. It’s a good reminder of what will happen to you should you call Mrs Jones a “nosy old bat”.
And when you run into Jimmy – as you will, for he still likes hanging around the bar in the evening, his silvery wounds glistening as though they had just been inflicted – don’t let him convince you he was some sort of victim.
He knew the rules.

Hi so I'm (24F) a ciswoman. I once discussed porn preferences with my bf. We're together since two years, he's bi, and he showed me his side nsfw twitter account which he uses in order to jack off. Since he's bi I know it was obvious to see both vags and dicks in his timeline, but I also know he mostly jacks off to pre-op trans women. For a good part it was also nsfw art, both cis and trans, but mostly trans.
No issue for me, apart from the fact he's been taking less initiative recently and he's pretty much a sexual guy. Used to get hard just by touching my breasts. Could be that it's been a while and he may have gotten used to it so it's harder to get aroused easily.
But there's also a part of my brain which is like “would he prefer a trans women then? maybe he doesn't desire me as much sexually anymore because he's always watching porn I can't recreate in any way.”
Also, I read men are visual creatures. For example, I masturbate to videos of people because the act itself is arousing, it's not like I'm imagining myself in those videos. But him, I could see he liked pics of trans women in front of a mirror with tits and dick out, and he told me that sometimes he thinks about me but that sometimes he imagines fucking the girls he sees. Are pictures really visually stimulating enough?
That makes me wonder if he's fantasizing about fucking them and that hurts me. I think videos are different from pictures because in videos it's all out there, while for pictures you really have to make an effort to image things. Can someone confirm this theory? Is it really different from men to women?
I also brought it up once and he said that he likes me because I'm me and I have a vag. But him turning me down recently makes me wonder, also because I know he jacks off when he's home.
I also have to say that he's been more stressed in these days. Relationship-wise he's all good, loving and bubbly. It's just that I don't feel as desired as usual/always, but that I also know he still has his sex drive, just seems to prefer using it by himself these days by watching t porn. Help me please, should I bring it up or am I just making a big deal of it?
TL;DR Boyfriend (24M) mostly jacks off to trans porn and recently he's been turning him down/not taking initiative as usual so I'm wondering if deep down I'm what he really wants sexually.

Here's How to Watch the PGA Championship 2024 for Free

Golf fans, get ready, because it's time for the men's second major of the year: The 106th PGA Championship. Returning to Valhalla Golf Club in Louisville, Kentucky, for the fourth time (and the first time since 2014), the 2024 PGA Championship will see big names, including defending PGA champ Brooks Koepka, Rory McIlroy — fresh off his Wells Fargo title win — Scottie Scheffler and Tiger Woods competing for the $17.5 million purse.

Watch PGA Championship 2024 Live

The 106th PGA Championship begins Thursday at Valhalla Golf Club in Louisville. The field features 16 former PGA champions, including Brooks Koepka, who won the 2023 PGA Championship and looks to repeat. Justin Thomas has returned to his hometown, seeking his third PGA Championship.
The first two rounds are set for Thursday and Friday, and the initial field of 156 golfers will be cut to the top 70 players and ties after the second round. Are you ready to follow all the action on the green at Valhalla? Here’s how to watch the 2024 PGA Championship, including the full TV schedule and more.

How to watch the 2024 PGA Championship:

• Date(s): Thursday, May 16-Sunday, May 19
• Location: Valhalla Golf Club, Louisville, KY
• TV channel: ESPN, CBS, Golf Channel
• Streaming: ESPN+, Paramount+, DirecTV Stream

What channel is the 2024 PGA Championship on?

For US viewers, the PGA Championship will air mainly on ESPN and CBS. There will be select coverage streaming on ESPN+, and the Golf Channel's alternative coverage airing on its network and streaming on Peacock.
ESPN will air the majority of the first two rounds of the tournament on Thursday and Friday, and then ESPN and CBS will share the third and final rounds on Saturday and Sunday. ESPN+ will have early coverage before the ESPN and CBS broadcasts all four days of the tournament and will also stream the practices Wednesday before the tournament begins.
Who is playing in the 2024 PGA Championship?
Brooks Koepka is the defending PGA champ headed into the 2024 tournament. Koepka will be joined by Rory McIlroy, Scottie Scheffler, Tiger Woods and more big names in golf.

How to watch the PGA Championship without cable:

To watch the PGA Championship 2024 without cable, you have several options. Firstly, check the official PGA Championship website for any live streaming options they may offer. Many major sporting events now provide online streaming services for viewers without cable subscriptions.
Secondly, consider signing up for streaming services that include sports channels. Providers like Hulu + Live TV, YouTube TV, Sling TV, and fuboTV often carry channels that broadcast golf tournaments, including the PGA Championship. These services typically offer free trials, allowing you to test them out before committing.
Thirdly, explore network-specific apps. Channels like NBC Sports, CBS Sports, and ESPN frequently offer live streaming through their apps or websites. If the PGA Championship is airing on one of these networks, you may be able to watch it without cable by logging in with your internet service provider credentials.
If you're in an area with good reception, you might also try using a digital antenna to pick up local channels broadcasting the tournament. This can provide a free option for watching the PGA Championship without cable.
Stream the PGA Championship on Paramount+
For streaming the PGA Championship coverage on CBS, you'll need the Paramount+ with Showtime tier, available for $12. The subscription is ad-free and includes live access to your local CBS channel.
In addition to sporting events like the PGA Championship, March Madness, Premier League and Champions League games, Paramount+ offers a host of other hit shows, new and classic movies and live sporting events. Unlike a lot of other streaming services these days, Paramount+ still offers a one-week free trial — so new subscribers can sign up to watch the tournament this weekend and check out the rest of the Paramount+ library totally free for seven days.
Stream the PGA Championship on ESPN+
For ESPN+ subscribers, early PGA Championship coverage will stream daily through the tournament. An ESPN+ subscription starts at $11 a month and grants you access to exclusive ESPN+ content, including all UFC PPV prelims, select F1 races, other live events, fantasy sports tools and premium ESPN+ articles.
Watch the Golf Channel's Live From the PGA Championship Peacock
While Peacock and NBC may not be airing the 2024 PGA Championship, the platform will have the golf Channel's Live From the PGA Championship coverage streaming live on the platform. A $5.99/month ad-supported Peacock subscription lets you stream live sports and events airing on NBC and thousands of hours of shows and movies, including beloved sitcoms such as Parks and Recreation and The Office and even recent theatrical releases.
Or for $12 monthly, you can upgrade to an ad-free subscription which includes live access to your local NBC affiliate (not just during designated sports and events) and the ability to download select titles to watch offline.
Is Tiger Woods Playing in the PGA Championship?
It's hard to say Tiger is guaranteed to play due to the injuries he's been battling over the past few years. However, the 15-time major champ has confirmed he's going to take a crack at the 2024 PGA Championship. Tiger was recently spotted practicing at Valhalla course and has told several outlets be plans to participate. Woods has won the PGA Championship four times in his career (the last time he won was in 2007). The 48-year-old is not expected to take the trophy this year but will no doubt be one of the biggest names to watch.
How to Watch PGA Championship Live Stream in The US
Golf fans in the US can watch PGA Championship live streams on ESPN and CBS. ESPN has coverage of all four days, while CBS will broadcast Saturday's third round and Sunday's final round.
No cable? No problem. Try a cord-cutting service like Sling or Fubo to watch the golf. There are no long contracts with these services, so you can try them and cancel whenever you've had enough. Fubo has the advantage of including both ESPN and CBS (as well as NBC's Golf Channel) in its $79.99/month Pro package – alongside 178 other channels.
The ESPN Plus streaming service will also host live coverage of the 2024 PGA Championship across all four days. A subscription costs $10.99/month or $109.99 annually. And you can watch CBS's coverage of the 2024 PGA Championship on the Paramount Plus streaming service. You'll need a Paramount Plus with Showtime subscription to watch the CBS Sports live stream. That will set you back $11.99/month or $119.99/year.
How to Watch PGA Championship Live Stream From The UK
In the UK, Sky will be your destination as Sky Sports Golf will televise action from the PGA Championship. A Sky Sports subscription will give you access to all nine Sky Sports channels, with the option to view in 4K and HDR (provided you have an HDR-ready Sky Q box and HLG-compatible TV).
Another option is Sky's Now Sports streaming service. You can get 24 hours of viewing for £14.99, or month-long access for £34.99 – though cheaper deals are often available.
How to Watch PGA Championship Live Stream From AUSTRALIA
In Australia, the most comprehensive golf coverage is offered by Kayo Sports where you can check out Fox Sports, which broadcasts the PGA Tour coverage. Not only can you watch a PGA Championship live stream from Kentucky, it's also the place to go for all the PGA Tour and DP World Tour events, and the other Majors. You can watch events from the LPGA Tour, too.
On top of all that, Kayo Sports offers access to over 50 sports live and on-demand, with some its big name channels including Fox Sports, ESPN, and beIN Sports. It's also good value at either $25 for Kayo One or $35 for Kayo Basic. Basic lets you stream sport on two devices at once.
2024 PGA Championship broadcast schedule:
Wednesday, May 15, 2024

• Live From the PGA Championship: 9 a.m.-5 p.m. (Golf Channel/Peacock)
• Practice rounds: 12-3 p.m. (ESPN+)
• Live From the PGA Championship: 7-9 p.m. (Golf Channel/Peacock)

Thursday, May 16, 2024

• PGA Championship, Round 1: 7 a.m.-12 p.m. (ESPN+)
• PGA Championship, Round 1: 12-8 p.m. (ESPN)
• Live From the PGA Championship: 8-10 p.m. (Golf Channel/Peacock)

Friday, May 17, 2024

• PGA Championship, Round 2: 7 a.m.-1 p.m. (ESPN+)
• PGA Championship, Round 2: 1-8 p.m. (ESPN)
• Live From the PGA Championship: 8-10 p.m. (Golf Channel/Peacock)

Saturday, May 18, 2024

• PGA Championship, Round 3: 8-10 a.m. (ESPN+)
• PGA Championship, Round 3: 10 a.m.-1 p.m. (ESPN)
• PGA Championship, Round 3: 1-7 p.m. (CBS)
• Live From the PGA Championship: 7-9 p.m. (Golf Channel/Peacock)

Okay, hope this helps one or three people.
I have been struggling for YEARS. Now, I’ve made a LOT of progress in this time. My life is WAY better. But, I still struggle in ways I KNOW are unnecessary.
Having been a long time student of philosophy, Eastern religion, mysticism (though I’m a skeptical atheist, there are babies in the bath water) psychology, pop-psychology, self help, healing modalities etc etc. literally several hundred books.
I was asking myself “what’s going on? Why do I have ALL the answers and yet, here I am, still struggling.” I was extraordinarily intent on getting “the” answer.
I did a low-ish dose of mushrooms and went to the park and was just intently asking this question over and over.
Then it hit me. It’s SO fucking simple. I share the insight in hopes that a couple people will “get it” and be able to escape the apparent trap that resembles what I am in. I saw it all at once, but have to share it in a few “facts”.
Warning: this is not pleasant. I couldn’t believe I “wasted” over half a lifetime ignoring these things, when they are SO obvious.
Facts:

1. The universe/reality doesn’t care. It doesn’t know you exist. It is just being as it is. Full stop.

This means it’s not “on your side” it’s not “against you” it’s just there being. When acted upon, it will react according to its nature, every fucking time. The universe is NOT a “problem” and it’s not an “opportunity” it JUST IS.

1. There isn’t an option that doesn’t exist for you. There are myriad options for you. And all of them exist.

Now you might say “but, if I had a million dollars to start a business, I could succeed”. But, if you don’t have the million, then this isn’t an option, by definition. It simply isn’t. It doesn’t exist. Thus, each apparent option that you don’t have is simply a thought, an idea, a DENIAL OF FACT ONE.
When you don’t want to acknowledge fact one, you create thoughts about non-existent options. You create a world that doesn’t exist as an escape mechanism from the ruthless fact above.
If an option exists, it does. If it doesn’t, it exists as mere thought. Period.

1. For each extant option there are things you can do to bring it about. If there isn’t something you can do to make it real, it isn’t an option.

Formulating “if I could only _. Then I could have __” is an avoidance mechanism of the above fact, fact 2.
If you don’t know what to do, the action is to find out. This is, of course, an action.
If there isn’t anything you can do about it, it is NOT an option for you. Really.
(Warning, it’s about to get real, you will be triggered)

1. Each action has an emotional price tag. There is a way you will feel when you take the action. Often, it won’t be a feeling you want to feel.

You may see that you should “call X and ask Y” and immediately you feel trepidation. The feeling is the price tag for the action that will bring about the desired condition.
It is the emotion unwillingness to experience this feeling that prevents you from acting. Full stop.
When you decide not to act, because you don’t want to feel the way you will feel, this is an avoidance and denial mechanism of the above fact, fact 3.

1. Unwillingness to pay the emotional price is the cause of confusion and delusion.

There is a simplicity to this “I want X, I must therefore do Y and I will feel Z”. But when you are unwilling to pay the emotional price, you try to concoct ways around feeing Z. These are increasingly indirect and convoluted.
This, you guessed it, is the denial of fact 4.
It is so painfully simple, do the thing, have the condition. Don’t, and you won’t.

1. Whatever you do, you become, instantly. If you want to be a “runner” you must simply run. If you want to be a painter, you must paint.

Whatever you want to “be” you must do. Example: want to be “brave” you must do the thing you fear. You don’t have to “get rid of the fear” first, in fact, if you did that successfully and then took the same action, you would NOT be brave.
There are a myriad intentions and motives within you, the ones you act on determines what you are. If you act on the faint call to be kind, you are a kind person.
Not acting on the thing you want, is a denial of the above fact, fact 5.

1. Any thought or action, repeated, get easier (relative to conditions) and repeated often enough it will be easier to do it than to not. This is what a “habit” is.

So, if you want to be a runner, you must run. And, it will be “hard” which is to say there will be a high initial price tag. This price will lower each time the process is repeated. Eventually the emotional price for running will be less then that of not running. Now, you will “identify” as a runner, or painter, singer etc.
The dark side of this is that the fact is neutral. So, if you repeat avoidance and denial as outlined above, this will be how you see yourself, and this will be your life. This IS YOUR LIFE. (if you struggle as I have.)
This is both the source and the result of the denial of the fact above.

1. One of the primary drives of a human is to be “self consistent”. This is a force that will operate to change your view of reality, so that you don’t feel the discomfort of “being wrong”

So, when you start to “see yourself” as a runner it creates a desire to run, so that you won’t feel the “pain” of self inconsistency. Of course, if you forego the the same force will work to make you avoid running.
This is why you are the person you are, the good aspects and the bad. It’s an impersonal fact of being human. It’s the “hardware” you have. However you show up in the world is the “software”.
The failure to be the person you want to be is the denial of fact 7, repeated.

1. You are going to die. Sorry to be the one to tell you, but at some point which you may infuence but not decide, this will be all over and the reality you perceive will no longer exist. Others will be left, themselves waiting to die.

What you do between now that moment IS YOUR LIFE. Your ONE AND ONLY LIFE.
You are alive now and you have many options. FAR more than you could ever become aware of. What you do about the above facts regarding the condition of your life is your life. What you have done prior to this moment is only information stored in your mind.
This is urgent.
The denial of this fact underlies the denial of all the others. If you felt the actual urgency, you would pick an option appealing to you and act.

1. The process of applying the above facts is truly LIVING rather than waiting to die.

Think about the times you have really felt alive. See that you were in alignment with the above facts. Think of the good parts of life, this is why they are good.
Likewise the aspects of your life that suck, you will find the above delusions at play. And the lows in your life will be times you were mired in the delusions.
I’m sure most people are trying to find the exceptions, which may indeed exist. You can do everything right and get hit by a bus. (Bonus fact)
Still, I would propose to you that the reason you are seeking the exceptions in the first place is to be “self consistent” and to not feel as you would were you to acknowledge them.
The search for the exceptions IS YOUR DELUSION at work.
I know this is harsh, but it’s meant with love. Really. You have ti accept your human-ness and let go the mistakes up til now. Forgive yourself. Be willing to pay the emotional price and if you feel sad, or like me, angry at yourself this is simply you paying the emotional price, in real time. You’re doing the right thing!
Now what? That’s for you to decide. Decide what you want and pick an action you are currently willing to pay the price for and. DO IT. Repeat.
If you don’t know what you want, then the first action is to make a decision.
Figure out what you want, find an action you can do and are willing to pay the price for an do it. Repeat. This is ALWAYS the answer.
This is truly living instead of waiting to die.
I hope someone that reads this decides to live!
Oh, and be patient with yourself. It takes as long as it takes and you don’t get to decide this. All you get to decide is whether or not you will truly LIVE while you’re alive.
Love you all, I swear.

This is a fairly minor inconvenience compared to some of the other problems posters here have, but would still love an idea of options for us!
My husband and I live on the ground floor of an apartment building in Brooklyn, NY (we are currently the only residents on the entire first floor.) Every single day, without fail, an alarm on a fire panel goes off. Sometimes it’s around 10pm, but usually it’s around 3-4am and it’s loud enough that it wakes us up every night. My husband has some experience with these panels, so every night we wake up and go out to the hallway and silence the alarm. (The alarm is for some sort of pump, not anything smoke or fire related.) Because we’re the only people on the floor, we are the only tenants this is effecting, which is why I assume it’s so hard for us to get them to fix this.
I cannot count how many times we have called (no one ever answers the phone at the office but I had been leaving messages literally every single day) and emailed non stop asking how we can get this to stop. Sometimes they responded that they were sending the alarm company out, but nothing ever changed and usually they just ignored us. We finally got a response today that they are sending the pumps out (I honestly don’t know what these pumps are or what their purpose is) to get rebuilt and/or replaced. According to the email this is “not easy or cheap and we are doing it so no one in the building has to hear the alarm.”
I can’t say I have any sympathy for how difficult or expensive this is. It’s literally keeping us from being able to sleep through the night. Not to mention we both work from home and sometimes it goes off in the middle of the day when we’re on calls.
Do we have ANY recourse here? Unfortunately we love our apartment and just moved in in January, so I’m not looking to leave (we obviously have a lease to which we don’t want to break) and I do understand things can move slowly, but it seems unfair that we continue having to deal with this. Would love any thoughts on this! Thank you!

Hey everyone,
I'm seeking some advice on advancing my career in the IT sector, and I'd appreciate any insights or suggestions you might have. Here's a bit about my background:
I'm 25 years old and have been working in IT for several years, primarily focusing on PC maintenance and troubleshooting. I have extensive experience with hardware and software, having worked in my family's small business PC repair shop for over six years. While I don't have any college degree or certification under my name, I've completed numerous personal projects and gained hands-on experience in various IT-related tasks.
Currently, I work as an IT associate for a company with over 80 employees (1y 4m), where I troubleshoot hardware, operating systems, applications, administration, and infrastructure issues. We use O365 office, and we have an outside IT consultant who maintains our servers & infrastructure. I have very basic knowledge and understanding of servers and networking infrastructure since I never had a chance to learn it. However, he doesn't provide me access to it or teach me about it because he said he doesn't have the time and I don't have the knowledge or degree required to tinker, and he is worried I would destroy something he set up, which is understandable.
I'm terrible at coding and would like to avoid it as much as possible, but I do understand that it's a very welcome skill to have. In that case, I would go out of my way to learn Python or Bash for scripting & automation since I know I can't be doing manual work all the time. I've tried coding before but got discouraged every time.
I'm looking to take the next step in my career and transition into full-time remote work. I'm particularly interested in IT consulting, cloud computing, networking, and a bit of cybersecurity. My goal for cybersecurity is more about expanding my knowledge rather than becoming a high-level cybersecurity expert.
I was searching this past week about all the different certifications and I came up with this list, listed in order which I think it would be good to complete them:

• CCNA
• AZ-104
• AZ-303 & AZ-304
• CCNP
• CompTIA Security+

I've been considering certifications like Microsoft Azure and Cisco CCNA, but I'm open to exploring other options as well. I'm also interested in learning more about different cloud platforms like AWS and Google Cloud, but I'm not sure which certifications or skills I should focus on to achieve this goal. Also can't figure out which Cloud services provider is ideal for me.
My main questions are:

1. For people who are already well into this field, what cloud service would you recommend me to start looking at? Which service is the market leader and in which would I have the highest chances of getting hired?
2. Did I create a good list? If not, which certifications or skills would be most valuable for someone in my position looking to transition to full-time remote work?
3. How can I effectively balance gaining certifications with gaining practical experience?
4. Are there any specific resources or study materials you would recommend for someone starting out in cloud computing or networking?

Any advice, tips, or personal experiences would be greatly appreciated! Thanks in advance for your help.

Hello, here is the fourth and last background story from my campaign,
I'm getting ready for our second session very soon and hope to share some props here !
In the meantime, I hope you'll enjoy reading this short blacksmith background (french version)!
Need a new blade? You could visit Kordgrimm, he has just opened his shop in the port district.
You won't find better in Novigrad, this dwarf comes straight from Mahakam!
Yes, it's not common for a dwarf to settle in Novigrad, especially with the cult of eternal fire rampant, but he hardly had a choice, luck was never on his side.
His parents were killed in a pogrom in Aedirn when he was very young. He and his brother, Grimgar, were saved by a defender of Makaham: Brograr 'the Wall'. He is a living legend among the dwarves. During the pogrom, Brogar and three of his warriors made their way out of the city, saving around twenty non-humans in the process. Brogar is said to have held back and killed a dozen attackers while his men opened the city's heavy gates.
Once safe in Mahakam, the blacksmith Brukk took Kordgrimm on as an apprentice, while Grimgar joined Brogar's company. Korgrimm spent many long years assisting Brukk in his forge. Listening to the steel sing under the blows of the hammer, watching the flames sculpt the blades, feeling the calluses forge on his hands under the strain.
However, once trained, he had to open his own forge. Working as an assistant to another blacksmith was not the way to build your reputation - or your purse...
And that's why Kordgrimm found himself on the road, heading for Kaedwen. With Brogar's first medal, his brother's mace and a set of blacksmith's tools from his master, he set up shop in the small town of Acolet. But bad luck struck again. Shortly after his arrival, another blacksmith in the town was murdered. Kordgrimm was accused and, although he was cleared, a woman named Sélène Repse remained convinced of his guilt. She came to see him one evening in his forge and tried to take justice into her own hands, but her dagger was intercepted by a flaming poker. Kordgrimm is still a blacksmith and a dwarf, he didn't let himself be fooled so easily. During the brawl, he pressed Selene's face into the blazing fire of his forge.
He had no doubt of the repercussions his act would have. Selene was much loved here: he had to flee. He left Acolet that very night, and took advantage of the darkness to head for Redania. Wandering the roads without the comforting warmth of his forge, Kordgrimm turned to gambling to earn enough to satisfy his hunger. What began as a necessity eventually took over his mind, turning him into a compulsive gambler.
And so, to satisfy his addiction, he found himself in Novigrad. Gambling capital. The capital of crime, where his services would be required. A capital corrupted by the eternal fire, making dwarven blacksmiths of his calibre rare.
He needs money and customers. What's more, an elven blacksmith is also rumoured to have opened a shop in the same district as him. So Kordgrimm is determined to prove that he forges the best steel in town.

For the sake of my privacy, I'm going to be vague...
At the beginning of the year I went out on FMLA for approved medical treatment. The FMLA was approved for the primary diagnosis but a secondary diagnosis was also listed. During the time off, I sought and received a legally standing confirmation of the secondary diagnosis along with a host of other comorbidities. I had a real nightmare of a time getting the short term disability paperwork filled out as my initial provider switched firms in the middle of my time off.
My employer-paid disability insurance approved the STD up to the last time I met with the initial provider but then demanded attending physician notes and all notes from any providers I have seen since the date they set the STD to end.
So when I submitted the requested documents, they ignored the notes from one provider, stated that I hadn't taken any effort to work on the primary diagnosis (they never asked nor told me notes from the beginning of my leave were required), and said that since my claims were based on conditions I was born with that my disabilities (ADA covered) aren't debilitating since I've been able to work for decades.
They denied my claim. But the issue my providers are helping me to understand is that the disabilities need to be addressed and I need to take care of myself now to avoid further damage to my physical and mental health. One provider said that it isn't within the claims reviewers authority to diagnosis the affect my disability has on my physical and mental health.. that such a diagnosis and treatment plan is made by the treating provider(s) and that the reviewer is diagnosing and simultaneously rejecting the other provider's medical statements.
I'm trying to find a lawyer to help me through this, but the one I just spoke to said there's not enough meat on the bone to appeal the denied STD. But I also can't claim nor apply LTD if I don't run the full course of the STD allotment per my employer's handbook. Parallel to this issue is that my employer was initially only going to give me a 40 day leave extension after FMLA ran out until I sent them a letter from one of my providers stating my ADA protected disabilities (HR even told me explicit not to send in this medical statement so that it didn't become part of my employee file - where my business would become common knowledge to anyone with access).
please help if you can!

https://preview.redd.it/ttezfqrcct0d1.jpg?width=3840&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=da4665eae779d0963612cd7085f3c1b69bc5612d
I'm sure this has come up a million times, but I was doing my best to avoid spoilers for the ending. I knew the broad strokes. There's a "bad" ending, and I knew about the unmoored world and stuff like that. But I managed to avoid too many specifics.
Anyway, so the dragon offers me the choice: should I stay or should I go? I thought, well obviously walking away is the fabled "bad" ending, so I did that and sure enough: bad ending. So I reloaded and went back to the dragon. The other choice was to fight him, but then I remembered duh, I have that special sword in my inventory that I was supposed to give to Phaesus or whatever his name was. I haven't used that yet, so that must be what I'm supposed to do. Stab the dragon with it I guess?
So I pull up inventory, the click "use" and it the options are to use it on myself. So I think ohhhhhh, I get it now. You stab yourself and then that leads to the unmoored world and you don't actually fight the dragon. But then...use wakestone...what? Well, I don't want to click "no" and do it all over, so I used the wakestone. And then I'm right back in front of the dragon. No new dialog. The dragon's not like, "whoah, dude you just killed yourself right in front of me. That was crazy, huh?"
So then I thought that I must have to use the sword on myself somewhere else. But it appeared my only other option was to fight the dragon. So that's what I did. And boy was that a dud of a boss fight. My pawns did al the work. I did hit it with the big ballista. And then I spent the rest of the fight running around that stupid arena just trying to get to the goddamn dragon. Anyway, the dragon's health gets down and then...the fight just ends. I swear it wasn't even out of health yet.
Then I get the little scene where you walk slowly to your throne and sit on it and the credits roll and then nothing happens so I get back up and walk to the door. Then the game ends and I'm offered the choice to start my game over with all my stats and stuff. And boy does the game really hammer you with "are you SURE you want to start a new game?"
I know I can google this, but since I'm in this sub almost every day, I figured I'd ask here. What did I miss? What did I do wrong? Clearly you're supposed to use the sword on yourself. But when and where? I was really hoping to get the unmoored world and access to all the new goodies. Did I miss something in the game that was hinting at where exactly I was supposed to stab myself? Am I just an idiot?
Started my second playthrough and already breezing through the missions. So I guess I can work on some badges and try alternate quest outcomes, but I don't think I have a 3rd playthrough in me so I want to make sure when I get back to the ending again I do the right thing.

I'm looking into Shopify ($SHOP) and wanted to get your thoughts. Here’s a quick summary of their recent performance and fundamentals:
Financial performance:

• Revenue grew 26% in 2023, reaching $7.06B.
• Turned a profit in Q4 2023 with $657M net income after losses in 2022.
• Gross margin improved slightly to 49.79% in 2023.
• Free cash flow turned positive at $905M in 2023.

Fundamentals:

• Leading e-commerce platform with diverse revenue streams.
• High R&D spending ($1.73B in 2023) reflecting a focus on innovation.
• Competes with Amazon, eBay, etc., but empowers small to medium-sized businesses.
• Sensitive to economic cycles, which can impact performance.

Do you think Shopify is a good long-term investment given its current performance and market position?
What are your bullish or bearish arguments for $SHOP?

You see headlines that 80-90% of younger people are regretting buying their house. If so, why? If not, why? Are these stat points, the truth, a lie, misleading or somewhere in between? Or possibly just a cultural expectation for millenials? I am an older one myself.
Here's an example. https://www.newsweek.com/millennials-regret-buying-homes-housing-market-1862807
You see common reasons listed, rate too high, overpaid, maintenance too high, rushed/pressure to make an offer, too much debt, bad area/neighbors, circumstances changed, etc.
With your answer, if you are willing to do so, can you also provide your total debt payments to income ratio if money is a reason. We can keep this broad.
Here's context for me.
I am about to decide on a counter on my first house. I am excited and the house checks a lot of boxes that I want, but possibly some of the above as well. I am single and have a lower six figures household, but I am putting half down after saving for too long, and my total gross debt payment will be roughly 31-33% of my gross, which is probably somewhat high. I am frugal and have no other debt or dependents, but that could change. I also think I am throwing away my possibility to retire super early, but my friends and family think that is dumb since I don't have any goals or plans after that.
I also work in financial services and am convinced rates will not come down without a big economic crash, and the crash could kill the market. I live in a boom bust market of Austin and the houses are down 20% -30 % from peaks but still up that much from pre-covid.
I think we are due for a crash, but I don't know when and I think prices will probably only go down another 10-15% at most keeping the area unaffordable and we would need a huge depression and high unemployment for that.
But waiting also seems silly since I have so much cash but I don't have an immediate need for a house outside of stop renting and maybe housing my brother ultra long term if he doesn't get his life together.

Rusty Stargazers [US + EU + AUS + Africa]
Ever wanted to get in on the ground floor of a wormhole alliance? Now is your chance! We are currently a small, but growing, alliance focused on building a life in a wormhole. We’ve recently settled into a C1 and anchored an Athanor, now we are working on expansion and growth. We are looking to grow a community of PvPers, ratters and miners into a solid wormhole presence. We’ve got a good community who help each other out and are all adults with families and real lives that come first. We’ve got a few long-time veterans with the skills, ships and ISK to match that status, as well as a handful of returning players from several years ago, as well as some true new players in the ranks. Our experienced, active veterans love teaching and guiding players in all aspects of the game, from PvE to wormhole living to PvP and we encourage each player to do what they find fun and enjoyable.

At this time, we do not have skill point requirements, or any form of required activity and are really just looking to expand the ranks with a few good pilots to open up access to more content for everybody. Our only requirement is that you’re able to laugh at yourself. While we’re just getting started we’ve made phenomenal progress in only a few short weeks. Most of us have a small to medium PI set up within the wormhole, and we have an Alliance buyback program for all materials made, so you don’t have to worry about getting the goods out of the wormhole.

Our current road-map is as follows:
Short-term we’d like to get an active mining fleet to mine that delicious moon-goo and make best use of our Athanor
In the medium-term we’d like to get a solid core of players to run Incursions, as well as potentially add more structures to our current wormhole
Long-term we’d like to expand our wormhole presence into higher-class wormholes

Our current activities include:
Running L4s within the alliance
Small-gang PvP fleets in wormhole space (with the occasional lo/null-sec roam)
High-sec mining fleets to chill and meet new players and grow our ranks – we generally base these in the area around Amarr / Penirgman

If you’re curious about wormhole life and would like to see the process from the ground up, or want to join up with a low-stress, friendly group of players and expand your knowledge of the game exponentially, give us a buzz! We’re looking for both individual players and corps that would like to join us. We currently have a dedicated US corp, a dedicated EU corp, and a dedicated S. African corp, but we’re looking to cover all the timeslots.

Our discord is https://discord.gg/VK5vtQsQ, our in-game public channel is RUST-PUB or contact Jim Macdole in New Eden!

Sorry guys. Long read ahead.
Still in my heart, it’s hard for me not to be sentimental and still pour my heart out and call her the most beautiful person ever. but I know that at the end of the day, we are both just normal people trying to balance our reasons to both leave and stay with each other. For context, I broke up with her right before our 6 month anniversary right after my birthday. The challenges of becoming long distance did not add to the list of underlying problems between us. Honestly, I tried to break up at 5 months, because I knew my birthday was coming up and didn’t want to lead her on or blindside her. But despite my intentions and attempt, she pleaded with me to hold on and stay until she visited me and I gave in and stayed that extra month knowing better.
The relationship ultimately failed because we no longer reached the point of compromise, and it is both our faults the relationship failed. I will try my best not to villainize the person I used to love on the internet, but in short, to me she needed reassurance in a way that placed a strain on my security in us and it strained our relationship. She told me that when we started dating that she did have some anger issues and was still haunted by some problems in her first relationship. Honestly, a lot of things that happened what a lot of people considered red flags and things they wouldn’t let any friend do to them. But I wasn’t perfect either and I never had the heart to tell her what she was doing was hurting me until it was too late, and I enabled and pulled myself apart trying to give her the reassurance she wanted until it was too much and thought I could ofc change her . Eventually, one night I got so hurt after giving my all, and I broke down. She had only ever apologized to me after hurting me so much, and she promised to never treat me like that again. But people are hard to change, and the same issues kept happening and I could feel myself losing hope in both her and us. It was eating me alive, and I knew I had to be the one to walk away, because she told me she could never walk away from someone she loves. It hurt even more knowing that I was main person she depended on the most since moving, but I knew it was an insult to her to become the great person she’s meant to be if I didn’t believe she could find herself and new friends and continued to stay because of that. Despite her attempts to say we should just take a 1 month break, we both have talked that if we ever got to the point where we considered a break, we should just call it. It ended up with me hanging up on her for taking my feelings and desire to break up seriously. The following morning we texted and agreed that our doors are closed for now and Scott Street’d each other.
But despite all the relationship advice and reddit posts that say its NC no matter what and that they aren’t thinking of you, I had always planned to reach back out to her in a month of NC after finishing my classes and figuring my feelings out more first. In my situation, I still feel like it is right to communicate after a bit of time rather than pretend that we never happened. I never expected it to be her because I was the one who broke up. It wasn’t easy. To many of you wondering if the dumper ever thinks of you, I placed away a lot of the stuff she gave me for my birthday, but I still can’t put away the picture frame she made with pictures of us. I put all our pictures in a hidden album but I will still look through them at night. I binged watched countless sad poetry tiktoks. I got sad seeing her contact name that I couldn’t change slowly move down under other names. I listen to all our songs, cried so many times and thought of her almost constantly for the first two weeks especially. I still typed but never send good night messages to her at the usual time we talked at night, and hoped to see she was typing too. I would play the mobile game she introduced to me and I played more hoping to catch her on there. I never saw her. The first week was especially rough. I wanted to share so many achievements and events with her during the month, but I kept strong when in truth I would throw all of my dignity to take her back if she asked within the first two weeks. Even though she was a burning house, she felt like home to me.
I had planned several conditions prior in breaking NC: First, I would ultimately respect her response, whether it is an answer or no answer. She doesn’t owe me anything. Second, I had to first work on myself and only contact her after I finished up the school semester and start finding myself again. Third, I can only contact her when I am relatively secure in my breakup decision and not in a state where I was missing her more than usual. Fourth, I would write out and remind myself why we broke up and avoid getting sentimental and reminiscing to avoid getting my heart swayed like always in both respect of my decision and her sake. I will ask her if there’s anything she would like return to me and just have one last talk between the both of us if there are any unspoken words left to be said. This is especially important because my heart is fickle and I was the one who threw it away, and I respect her too much to expect her to take me back and have respect for myself to not go back on my decision. Lastly, this is where is it especially selfish of me. Even though it was an unconditional gift, I still wanted to pay her back with a birthday present early. Even though I know it is breadcrumbing, I selfishly want to give a gift to her, but I don’t want to do it in August rather than we are months into moving on. I’ll talk to her about it, and see how she feels about it before I decide to rip this band aid off. If she doesn’t want it, I won’t bother.
Here is how it went. I texted her if she comfortable enough to talk first of all. 10 minutes later, she responded about what and I basically explained that I wanted communicate after sometime and see if there’s anything left to be said between us and apologize for the night I hung up on her. She said she was never mad about me hanging up and we agreed to talk the following night. We exchange awkward “how have you been” and I explain that I wanted to talk about our feelings and thoughts in the past month. I was honestly in my heart, I still have a lot of attachment for her and was trying my best to run back into that burning house, but in my head I know that we could only start again as strangers and that 1 month is not enough time for us to both change as people. She said she wants us to meet again by chance but I said I don’t us to wait on each other to grow, and that we both don’t chance to make us work and that if we wanted it to work, we would make it work. She agreed. We caught up on things that happened and left off on. I told her about getting an A+ in my class, and she told me about the dance classes she started going to. It honestly felt like we picked up where we left off but without the certain words like “baby” and the L-word. We talk about the concerts we had planned. She told me that she didn’t have any hate for me at all and doesn’t blame me for hating her. I told her that I could never hate her even though she did hurt me. I apologize that I wasn’t strong enough and apologize for all the pain I did too. We talked about the clothing hauls we just had and we laughed at myself for my latest haircut that I didn’t like and I knew she wouldn’t like either. I told her that I know her enough that she doesn’t want someone who is scared to love her, and she agreed. We caught up about work, and she told me that she is fully remote now, and I laughed and countered that I get 2 hours off early on Friday at my in-person job because it’s Employee Appreciation month. I told her I’ve been reading the book she gave me for my birthday, but it is laughably stereotypically Asian even though it’s a good read. I told her I put away most of her stuff in the closest and she did too. She said I should take down the picture frame she made because she could tell I was still looking at it through Facetime. She told me she found a letter I wrote and she cried reading it and I told her I did the same. I told her I haven’t even touched the crochet kit I bought and she told me she returned hers after failing to make a loop. I told her that I wouldn’t have changed and a thing and she said she wouldn’t either. We ended up getting sentimental and reminiscing. We laughed at the coping we had both done like stalking each other’s Linkedin and Spotify despite unfollowing each other on social media. She uploaded our pictures on Google Drive and deleted our messages but restored them once she realized she could redownload them. She told me she deleted the phone game she showed me because she didn’t have a reason to play it again. I asked her if this is the last time and she said maybe. I told her that I wouldn’t change a thing and she said she wouldn’t either. She just wished we started off as friends longer. We cried, laughed and talked for 4 hours. It was getting late. We both were afraid of falling asleep together on call again. It felt like we were both waiting for the other to say it what was both on our minds and hoping the other felt the same, but it felt like it would be so easy to light it back up, but we both knew better than to rush back in. I told her that I wasn’t feeling strong anymore and to also not take me back if my heart folds. She said she wouldn’t. I told her that we should hang up but I say I honestly don’t know if I can and she said she’ll end the call at 3 on her side. We both say we miss each other and she hangs up.
Do I regret it or like it interrupted my healing? Not really. Last night was bittersweet. She still the same person I loved and that’s the most tragic problem. I told her that we shouldn’t wait for each other, but I lied and do truly do hope we meet again by chance again. I know this feeling might change with time, but for now, I do still care for her and I still wish the best for her and I know she will become a great person. I know I’m still holding on, but I am glad we talked and can continue on being the best person I can be. I do feel like there will always be a part of me that will grieve losing her love and being the person who walked away. I still do worry about her but I know she’ll be ok.

Hi all,
So I have been looking for a new job and now I am in the running for 2 jobs. They both promised to make me a formal offer so I am waiting on that.
But in the meantime I would like to know how common is salary negotiation when you get the formal offer? Do you simply accept or make a counter offer?
I have told both of them what I earned on my previous job and that I'm also in the running at a different company.
It's for a job as back-office assistant/customer service assistant. Both jobs are at a bachelor's degree level. (I don't have one, but have enough experience to make up for it)
I do know negotiation is more 'normal' at higher levels but I'm wondering what the rules are at a more average level.
I'm not so great at selling myself so any tips are welcome at this point.
Thanks in advance for the advice!

I remember 4 Years ago while working full time as a Chef right before the world shut down some random coworker took the time to tell me to buy into stocks, and that were only getting older..long story short the guy was VERY business oriented as a bartender in this major city bartending is a top career based on the many high fancy paying jobs. But to make a long story short I shrugged it off and felt like stonks/crypto was not my focus at the time. Boy I if would have simply LISTENED to his advice and did what I am doing RIGHT NOW. So lesson for all of you newbs or toe pokers that touch the pool. It wont hurt unless you are MISINFORMED and have weak discipline! Its all about being a responsible person in the end. Your choice win lose or break even. Were all winners at the end of the day!

Hey guys! I start uofa in august and im so nervous about money. I an in a situation where my tuition/meal plan/dorm is covered by an extended family member, in which i am extremely fortunate. My parents do not help me out financially at all otherwise, except maybe groceries and health insurance. I have worked the past two years. I am a bit of a spender though, and am unfortunately facing the consequences of that. I only have like $1k saved and im wondering if that is going to be enough for a whole year for fun spending. I just moved to a different state so I do not have a job, and I am thinking of getting one. I also dont have my own car. What do you guys think? I am nervous because uofa is notorious for being a party school and I do not want to be blindsided by how much fun costs. I am a girl and I feel like we tend to spend more on this type of stuff, or its expected to. I get frustrated when i see college girls online because their lifestyle seems so expensive. Generously I want to have enough saved so I can have around $300 per month(~$3k) saved. Also incase my phone or laptop breaks and i need to replace it. If I worked the summer I could have like $2.5k just working part time. But I wanna hear what everyone else thinks?

I remember when i first started playing Commander, The Command Zone had their rubric for deck building that was something like 38 lands, 10 ramp spells, 10 card draw spells, 5 single target removal and 5 board wipes. Then the rest is your unique synergistic cards for the deck.
This rubric felt like it really permeated all of the Commander community and not following it felt like you were doing something wrong almost.
Today, i don’t follow this type of thing at all and really experiment with each deck individually when it comes to curve and streamlining.
For example my favorite deck right now is an Arixmethes deck that runs 15 two mana ramp spells, 41 lands, the rest is highly impactful value oriented 7 drops. So from turn 4 and onward I’m just dropping hard to remove hammer after hard to remove hammer onto the battlefield.
If you guys don’t follow a rubric like i previously stated, what are deck building choices you make that you feel are unique? I’m just getting into this out of the box style thinking so I’m interested in things other people have done.

It really sucks being black and gay when it comes to dating. Most races find you unattractive whether it's your dark complexion and/or your facial features. And god forbid if you're a black guy who doesn't fit the dom BBC stereotype whereas any other race can be any way they please and it's seen as normal and appealing.
I'm almost 30 (28 turning 29 this year) and my experience in the gay dating world as a black feminine gay man who's a bottom has been just frustrating to say the least. In high school I was seen as "not black enough" because of my interests as even though I was effeminate, I was a huge metalhead (my favorite band was Slipknot lol) so I didn't really fit in with many black guys and most of my friends (which weren't many) were non-black. Then I enter the gay dating world thinking things would be great but things have been a lot more challenging than I thought and when I see how my gay non-black friends are doing in the gay dating scene compared to myself, they're simply doing so much better.
When it comes to guys, I'm mainly attracted to fit in-shape guys (I workout 3 days a week and have a slim build with a butt), preferably nerdy and I don't really have racial preferences. But I can't seem to attract any of those guys and all I attract are out of shape guys who are usually much older than me and/or ghetto black guys whom I'm not attracted to neither.
Whenever I go to gay clubs with my friends, I'm usually the one who hardly gets approached while my friends get approached by all kinds of guys and I'm usually just left on my own. I remember this one time I did get approached by a guy, it was a guy who was in his 40s-50s who I was not attracted to and politely turned down only for him to not get the hint and continued following me until I regrouped with my friend and a guy he was chatting with. This other time, I remember when I tried to approach a guy, the guy just ignored me and walked off. Another time when I tried approaching a guy (the guy was Asian), while he initially chatted, it was clear her wanted to me to go away and I got the hint, ironically he got really chatty with one of my friends (he's white so I wasn't surprised). I eventually just stopped going to the club as much because my experience was always the same where I'd go with my 3 friends and they'd get swept up by other guys and I'm just left by myself, occasionally getting hit on by guys that I don't find attractive.
And so you're probably gonna say "Why don't you go for other black guys", I try but what I notice is that whenever I try approaching a black guy who I find attractive, they are never into me. I'm gonna be honest, I like non-ghetto black guys but something I've noticed is that they don't tend like me but do like my friends. There was this one time we were at a club and I saw this cute black guy with long locs and nice arms wearing an XMen shirt (I love X-Men) and I tried approaching him and while he was friendly, I could tell he was not interested but to make it even more awkward, he asked me "who's your friend?" (my white guy friend) and I got the hint. And when I try hitting up these kinda black guys on Grindr, they never reply nor do I match with any on Tinder neither. It's just ghetto black guys who seem into me which doesn't make sense to me since I don't present myself in that way at all.
The final kicker that really showed me that no matter what I do, it's just not good enough was when my friend got his BBL (Brazilian Butt Lift). Before he got that, he was pretty flat and slim (we have a similar build only I have a more prominent butt from my working out). I won't lie, it is bigger than mine (and honestly looks disproportionate to the rest of his body) but regardless, he was attracting all kinds of attractive looking guys (including that black guy I mentioned earlier) and it was there that I realized that no matter what I do, I'll always be seen as less desirable even when I try. If guys would sooner choose a non-black guy with a BBL vs a black feminine guy who has a sizeable butt that is natural, then that says a lot. And before anyone asks, my friend is feminine as well, he even goes beyond me where he gets those long acrylic nails and goes slightly heavier on makeup than I do and it doesn't seem to detract too much from guys outside of the masc4masc for obvious reasons.
I used to not hate being black because I knew that I couldn't change my race but in recent times, I've started to wish that I was just born another race because being a black gay man who doesn't fit the stereotype is just hell.

Walking the Path together (Part 16)

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Part 16: The awakening of the heart
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As the Mysterious Stranger and the Seeker leave the old castle behind, they continue on the snow-covered path. A path appears on the right side, following parallel to their own. The two paths merge into one, which leads towards a volcano. As they progress, another parallel path from the left side merges as well with the current one.
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In the distance, the Seeker spots a building, where the path tilts uphill. A sign points at a crossroad. An intersection, between realms. The crossroads, where all timelines meet up: Where the westward and the eastward paths meets the northern road.
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Where the paths meet, stands a tavern. The lights are on. The chimney is smoking. A sign shows its name:
'The Red Ditch Inn'
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“Wanna get something to drink,” asks the Stranger the Seeker.
“Sure, why not,” accepts the Seeker.
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Before he opens the door knob, the Stranger hesitates and speaks to the Seeker:
“This is the bar, where the timelines of our souls meet up. This is the crossing of our life-paths, the intersection of fate. Be prepared, for what happens next.”
The Seeker and the Stranger walk into the building. As they open the door, they are started by the loud conversations. The inn is full. Many tables with different animals of all species.
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The table in the center of the bar, has a label saying: ''
Around that table sit all kinds of different birds and animals. Pigeons, squirrels, Reptiles, cats, dogs, wolves, foxes, crows, mice, sloths. They are mostly talking about crystals and past lives.
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There was a table, which said: ''. There sat an old bear, who carries many scars, wounded by countless battles, teaching young bear cups, who attentively listen to their elders. Some are making notes.
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Next to it, is a table with a label saying: ''
There sit some parrots all repeating the same mantra in unison:
“BEFORE ENLIGHTENMENT CHOP WOOD CARRY WATER, AFTER ENLIGHTENMENT CHOP WOOD CARRY WATER.”
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There is another table, called: ''
There sit a caterpillar, a spider, a scorpion and an eagle.
“You have an Ego,” shouts the caterpillar at the spider, pointing his finger.
“No, you have an Ego,” shouts the spider back at the caterpillar.
“You both have an Ego,” accuses the scorpion both the caterpillar and the spider.
“Hey,” shouts the bird. “I am the eagle here!”
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Next to it, is the table of ''. The chairs are completely empty. There is no one here.
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On the other side there is another table with many different birds and mammals, some more exotic animals from all around the world. The label says ''. There is someone constantly screaming at the top of their lungs:
“I AM A PROFFESIONAL PSYCHIC READER WITH 14 YEARS OF EXPERIENCE!”
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One table next to it is called ''. The people sitting there do not look like animals, but like strange aliens. Some small and green beings, others big and gray, some with fur, some with scales, some humanoid. They were mostly talking about the past, exchanging some old memories. Among them is a chicken, who wears an alien costume.
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As one of the Grey beings stands up to go to the toilet, the chicken whispers to the others:
“Psst guys, I think Fred may not be an actual Starseed.”
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The other beings around the table start mumbling.
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There is one more table called ''. The Stranger walks towards their table.
“Jo, wazzup Shawty,” greets the Stranger an old friend at the psychonaut-table, with a fist bump. “Long time no see.”
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“Whoa, it's YOU,” responds the Tiger at the table, with red eyes, smoking his bong. “Last time I've seen you, I was like in DMT realm.”
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“Is Burt anywhere around?” asks the Stranger.
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“He is sitting there in the corner,” responds Shawty. The tiger points at a traumatized racoon sitting in the dark corner.
“I have seen too much,” mumbles the Burt the Racoon with eyes wide open, like a scratched record.
“I have traveled too far... I have seen, what lies within the emptiness. Never again... I will never do shrooms again...”
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Suddenly the waiter taps the racoons shoulder, ripping him out of his thought loop.
“Sir... Do you wanna order anything?”
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“Do you have McKennaii?”
“Yes,” responds the waiter.
“Then I'll have 7 grams,” orders the racoon.
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The Seeker has a sudden thought and looks at the Stranger.
“What does the ' slash' on the tables, stand for?”
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“I don't know...,” shrugs the Stranger. “ It's probably to reserve the table at this inn.”
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The Stranger looks at all the tables, they are all talking and talking. Some are playing poker, others are playing dart, some drunks fight each other. Others talk about their identity or their favorite dogma. Some are showing off, how enlightened they are.
As they stand at the crossroads, they can either go Westwards, Eastwards and Northwards. Many have taken the western route, many have went eastwards, but they always ended back at the 'Red Ditch Inn' again.
The newbies, were unsure, whether to go west or east. The experienced ones, knew it doesn't make a difference, they would end up at the bar again anyway. Some were stuck in the bar since many decades, they had given up hope to ever find a way out. But few of them ever dared to walk northwards.
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The Stranger sighs, as he looks around. His eyes flame up, he inhales deeply and climbs on a chair. With a raised voice he speaks:
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“When did we lose our heart?
We lost our heart collectively.
Did we lose it, when we were still cavemen? When we had to survive the cold winters of the ice age? When we hunted down the last Homo Neanderthalensis? Or later on, when the first tribes waged war against each other? Did we lose our heart, when we enslaved each other? Did we lose our hearts, when we dropped atom bombs, or when we caused our first mass extinctions...The crimes, that Humans do in wars... All of us carry the sins of our forefathers on our shoulders.
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We lost our hearts individually.
For the person it starts pretty early in their childhood. We lose our trust, when we are lied to. Almost everyone tastes the pain of Betrayal at least once in life. We are deeply wounded from childhood on. We learn early on, that humans hurt us and thus we become suspicious of humans. We learn not to trust each other. Because we are afraid of being hurt again. And so we close off our heart to protect it.
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What is the heart?
I am not talking about the physical organ. I talk about this part in your 'soul', if I may call it that. It's like the core of our 'soul', of our 'astral body'. The centre of our 'energy' or chakras. We are afraid to open it, because it's very vulnerable. That's why we protect it. We are afraid to open it, because we don't trust each other.
But unless your heart is open, you can never experience unconditional love. Its flame must be activated.
The heart is your connection to everything. The heart is what connects you to 'source', if that's the word, you'd like to use. The heart is from where our love flows.
We have cut off the connection and became separated from the ALL. We made love conditional. We split hating from loving, dislike from like and created duality. We became attached. We let ourselves be corrupted by the Ego.
Now that we have closed the heart, what have we done to the world?
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We turned the world into a place, that almost no one likes. We created a society, that keeps us in narrow boxes. We made the world a lonely place, for everyone to be in. Even in groups, we often feel lonely. We allowed money to rule over us. We allowed ideologies to split us and dogmas to control us.
We have so many different issues, that we just can't seem to overcome. Climate change. Wars. Corrupt politicians. Poverty. Starvation. Meaninglessness. Nihilism.
Where should we start with all that mess?
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With ourselves. That is the place, where the transformation needs to start. We need to evolve. One person at a time. Only then, can the collective transform as well.
We need to open the mind and the heart. To see and to feel. To be aware and to love. We need to find harmony within ourselves. End the inner conflict and find peace within.
Find your own truest path.
Let go of any limiting beliefs. Let go of any attachments. Forgive whoever needs forgiveness and apologize to clear your regrets. Find Love.
Find your light within. See your light in all people. Love your enemies.
Recognize the Ego, be aware of what makes it grow. Become aware of any negative thought patterns. Be disciplined.
Clear your own shadows. Face your Trauma. Heal your inner child.
Get free from all bodily addictions. Be free of fear. Be free of suffering.
See the beauty of all things. Find joy in every moment.
Surrender yourself. Follow the heart. Be proud and courageous. Accept your life and your story. Embrace your story, without being attached to it.
Find your purpose. End the Seeking.
Be your authentic Self. Express Love through your character.
Become Love.
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This is a possible path. And I just gave you the map. It can be walked. It was walked before. But it is a path into unknown territory. Only the bravest of you can walk this path. It's not for the faintest of heart.
You see, you all either follow the path of the left and go westwards or you follow the path on the right and go eastwards... But no matter how far you go, you'll always end up at the crossroads again. You never make any real progress.
What if there is another path? What if there's another way? What if I say, 'let us go north?!'”
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Some of the crowd are in shock. Some are laughing. Others are mumbling.
“You can't walk north,” says a crow from the projectors. “It's impossible.”
“Everyone knows, that the northern road is a dead-end,” says an awakened Caterpillar. “It's a waste of time going up there. You can't go further, than the volcano.”
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A psychonaut horse laughs. “That will be fun. Can't wait to see their disappointed faces, when they walk all the way back down.”
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The Stranger continues undeterred:
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“Why are you walking the spiritual path?
You felt called to do it, didn't you? You felt something within you. Something made click. You understood, that there is a deeper truth, that you must find. There was this deep longing within you. So you started walking.
What were the first things, that you were seeking?
You were seeking answers.
What were your first questions? You were asking, 'What is my purpose?' You were asking 'Why am I here'?
And you have searched in so many places. But no matter which answer you got, you were never fully satisfied. Because it wasn't your answer. Because it was someone else's answer.
So you stopped seeking. Either you were content with some unfulfilling answers or you just simply gave up. When did you stop finding your own answers?
Dogma or tradition give us easy answers. When we are attached to them, when we build an identity around them, we become unable to find our own answers. But you can't end Seeking with someone elses answers. Only when you have claimed the answer for yourself, can the Seeker transform into something different. Into something new.
Just ending the Seeker, like cutting off a limb, won't do it. The Seeker needs to find their answer to the question 'What is my purpose?' Not one, they read from textbooks. Not an answer, that someone else can give them. When ONE has found their own unique purpose in life, then instead of 'seeking', there is only 'expressing'.”
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“I see that you are advanced,” speaks an enlightened owl. “However you are blinded by idealism. When you stare into the abyss long enough, the abyss will stare back at you.”
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“My friend,” says the Stranger. “I have not only stared into the abyss, I went to hell and back again to find my answer.”
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Everyone falls silent, the Stranger continues:
“It was always here on earth. Heaven. It was always within us. Take a look around you. There is beauty in all things. If you search for it, you can find joy in every moment. Look for love in the world and you shall find love everywhere. Meet Life with gratitude and wonder. Face your experience, like an adventurer faces his challenge. Express unconditional love through your very being. Because this is how we heal Humanities greatest wound: The scar of nihilism.
It has all become so meaningless to us, hasn't it?
Memorizing knowledge at school or college, that you'll never need in real life. This feeling of being stuck in life. Day to day, going to a dead-end job for minimum wage. Living an unfulfilled life. The shattering of broken dreams. The tears of our suffering.
You know, why everything has become so meaningless?
We let our hearts get cold. After falling, we stopped getting back up again. We stopped facing our challenges.
You see, after every defeat, Humanity always got back up again. No matter how tough the challenge may seemed, Humanity never gave up.
We have forgotten, who we are.
All of us are Humanity. You, Me, everyone. We are all humanity. You, the individual human are HUMANITY. You are the Rest of mankind. Because we are all the same in our essence. When you open your heart, then this is your name: 'HUMANITY'
Because you see yourself in every other human. This is the name of the divine spark that sits within all of us. It is the fire, that burns in our eyes. This is Humanity: An archetype of victory and an idea of unity.
Let me ask you a very direct question. If we all came together to do our part, do you think that we could actually clean up the mess we have created? Do you think we have a chance of not only to survive but even to evolve as a species? And perhaps write even greater stories, than ever before?”
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The entire crowd is silent. Most of them avoid eye contact. People start mumbling.
Then the crowd slowly gets louder again and the conversations on each table, continue as if nothing ever happened.
As the Stranger steps down from the chair, a monkey gets up from one of the tables, points his finger and screams:
“Look guys, this dude has ketchup on his outfit.”
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While the crowd laughs at him, the Stranger goes to the bar and orders two beer. While he waits, he rubs off the ketchup stain from his clothes with his fingernails.
People are looking at him and the Seeker. The Seeker can't bear standing next to the Stranger and leaves the tavern. The Stranger pays for two beers. 140 Pesos. He then follows the Seeker outside.
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“Wanna go already?” asks the Stranger while sipping from his beer.
“Those guys hate you now,” sighs the Seeker.
“Who cares?” shrugs the Stranger, while gulping down the beer in a single go.
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A couple of animals exit the bar. All the animals, that had no place to fit in. All the animals that didn't belong. A rabbit, a cat, a goldfish, a squirrel, a bear, a fox, a goat, a pigeon, an eagle, a chicken in an alien costume and a dog.
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“I will also follow my destiny,” speaks the eagle with determination. His heart is also activated.
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“Alright,” says a bear with burning eyes. “Let's try going north... Perhaps this is how we'll finally get to Axis Mundi.”
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“Going north... that sounds fun,” says the smiling fox. “Let's see how far, we'll come.”
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“We are all gonna die anyway,” sighs the pessimistic goat.
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“I never tried going north before,” contemplates the curious pigeon.
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“10 bucks, that I am first at the top of the volcano,” bets the black cat, while looking at her claws.
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“Deal,” agrees the dog, while hunting his own tail.
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The rabbit thinks about the taste of carrots. She is hungry.
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The squirrel is simply happy and excited for the new adventure. She can't stop dancing.
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The goldfish has no idea, what he's actually doing. He just rolls around in a plastic bag.
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“I... I will also walk my path,” speaks up the brave chicken in an alien costume. For the first time, the chickens eyes start burning.
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Together, the new group of friends are traveling the northern road. Towards the volcano. As the sunset illuminates their backs, the animals start singing a new song. A song of excitement, of wonder and of bravery. A song, that goes something like: “We have found a way.”
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TO BE CONTINUED
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^{for more content visit:} We_Are_Humanity
^{Find previous part Here}
https://www.reddit.com/We_Are_Humanity/comments/1cg7yqg/what_it_means_to_walk_togethe
^{Find next part Here:}
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START JOURNEY HERE: https://www.reddit.com/We_Are_Humanity/comments/17zwf78/the_seeker_and_the_mysterious_stranger_part_1_of_7/
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Checkpoint 4
https://www.reddit.com/We_Are_Humanity/comments/1cbhoml/turning_shit_into_gold/
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Special Bonus Chapters:
THE ONE TRUE SEEKER AND THE QUESTION OF FREE WILL
https://www.reddit.com/We_Are_Humanity/comments/1cnaanw/special_bonus_chapter_the_one_true_seeker_and_the/

Hello, me and a friend are trying to put together a a raid team for the final shape day one raid, mainly because our clan is largely inactive and not flexible or committed enough for a day one. We are looking for players in a similar boat to us who are experienced raiders who are willing to put the time and commitment to a day one.
We are fairly chill but we like to get things done and hate wasting time on something that isn’t working. We play on PlayStation but can use discord to communicate. We don’t tolerate any kind of sexism, homophobia, racism etc. I’ve tried all the day ones since kings fall and my friend since garden of salvation. I main hunter, my friend isa titan. We’re in our late 20s and would prefer to play with adults around our age.
We live in Europe so would like people in our timezone. We don’t want to go say 40 hours in a row but would like to take a break and get some sleep and try again in the morning or something if we’re burnt out.
If you’re interested please message me with a bit of a description of your raid experience. I would prefer to chat with you first and do practice raids or gms or something to see if we vibe.