Tips for writing nursing school timed entrance essays

I am a parent of a teen (14M) who has been diagnosed with ADHD, expressive language disorder, speech delay and other learning disabilities. He has always really struggled in school, but he has been “making it.” But as we approach high school, I am getting really concerned.
For a long time, I’ve always wondered about his abilities. Like, what guidance should we give him, etc. I don’t want to put limitations on him, but at the same time I want to manage expectations for both him and me. In terms of intelligence, he’s always teetered between doing OK (with accommodations) and really struggling. I’ve asked his intervention specialists and IEP team about their assessment, and they are very much wait and see. We’ve basically ignored standardized tests and he never really took them with accommodations. I never took them seriously or thought they accurately reflected his abilities.
He has always been terrible at math (struggles with abstract concepts). His reading is better but he struggles. But works hard and can retain concepts/ideas. Again, a struggle but borderline.
Last year he prepped for months for a high school entrance exam, and despite having accommodations, he scored very low (19%). This coincided with some test scores/map testing that has him in the 25ish percentile.
This has me very concerned. I’ve never really considered him to be low intelligence. Rather, I’ve always chalked it up to not being able to “show what he knows”. I always figured he would struggle in school, but could do enough to get along, go to college, and get a job.
But the evidence is fairly clear that at the very least he is near the bottom of the middle of the bell curve, or maybe even lower. Doing quick research, the 35th percentile of an ACT score is a 16, which isn’t good enough to get into hardly any colleges.
So all those plans about getting along, getting a degree and getting a decent job seem like a far reach.
Has anyone experienced this? So many ADHD/executive function kids are very bright and can do well academically. There is so little guidance out there for parents of lower IQ kids.
Also, I have considered skilled trades. But to operate as a tradesman, you need to be at least middling intelligence. And my son has fine motor skills issues as well.
It feels awful to write this. I love my son. But we are coming into an important part of his life and I don’t feel prepared to help him live out his life to the best of his abilities. (Not to mention him being able to have a family, have children.)
It’s frustrating because teachers are always so indirect. I get they don’t want to put a low ceiling on someone’s potential. But while they can’t predict the future, they should be able to say “hey, here’s what I’ve seen in kids of your son’s profile, and here’s the usual outcome.” (By analogy—a good coach can watch a 14 year old play basketball and know whether he has a future. Sure, maybe a kid grows much taller or improves his talent, but that’s an outlier. They know who has the potential to be a D1 athlete, etc.)
Anyway, if anyone has experience with a child with low test scores/significant learning disabilities, please let me know if you have any feedback or advice.
(One last note—to my knowledge he has never been tested as intellectually disabled or MDD. No teacher has ever told us that he fits that profile.)

I want to share my success story about manifestation and how it helped me with my social studies HiSET test. Recently, I’ve been in the process of acquiring my diploma. I dropped out in my junior year of high school three years ago and recently went back to school to get my high school diploma. I’m taking the HiSET, which is basically like a GED except it’s 5 tests instead of 4.
I've always been good at English, so I knew I didn’t have to study for the reading and writing sections. I passed both with a 16 (the highest score you can get is 20, and the lowest is 8). Then came my math test. When I tell y’all I’m so bad at math, I mean I don’t even know my times tables. I couldn't even tell you what the Pythagorean theorem is, and I honestly couldn’t care to know! So you know what I did? I affirmed and affirmed that I would pass my math HiSET test. I studied for three days and gave up because I thought, "Why am I studying when all I have to do is manifest that I passed the test?" Instead of wasting my time studying for math, which I still to this day have no care for, I affirmed and affirmed. And lo and behold, I passed with a 9. I promise you guys, on everything I love.
Two weeks ago, I took my social studies HiSET test during a particularly rough week. I had fallen behind on my affirmations and started questioning if manifestation was even real. This doubt seemed ridiculous, considering I had passed my math HiSET in just 20 minutes, mostly by guessing, without any study. The odds of passing that math test were astronomically low—far less than one in a million—yet I did it!
When I sat for the social studies HiSET, I was incredibly anxious and couldn’t focus. My mind was scrambling, and I didn’t even find time to breathe. I was so sure I would fail... and I did. At first, I was devastated. But then I had a revelation: I needed to fail that test to grow in ways I hadn’t realized. It became clear that my anxiety was largely due to a boy who was taking a toll on my mental health. I realized that the reason I was so anxious and failed the test was because I was putting him before myself and my well-being.
Fast forward to today: I retook the test without studying at all, just like before, but with a completely different mindset. I decided to put myself first and believed I could pass. And guess what? I did! I scored a 16, up from a 7, despite guessing on both attempts. The only real difference was my belief in myself and the power of manifestation. This experience has taught me that manifestation is real, and believing in myself makes all the difference.
Manifestation isn’t just a coincidence—it's a powerful tool. Sometimes, setbacks are just setups for greater comebacks. Keep believing in yourself, no matter how tough things get.

This is probably a longer story than it really is, but I am just trying to give as much context as I can.
In grade 11, me (F16-17) and my ex-friend (F16-17) were best friends. For some context, we both became friends fairly early in high school. In my country high school is from grade 8-grade 12. I joined the high school in grade 8 from out of city, the high school is just closer to me than the one in my city, so I was a new kid. I made some friends in grade 8 as a new kid but those friendships did end in grade 9. Grade 9 is when my best friend, we'll call her Emily, transferred to the school. And we formed a friendship. Through grade 9 we had formed our own little friend group with 2 other girls, we'll name them Clara and Sabrina. It was the 4 of us through majority of high school. We would always text each other, always hang out after school, spend any break we had at school together and had as much fun as any girls in high school could have (minus the partying because my school is not a partying school).
Emily and I were the closet in the friend group, afterall we were pretty similar and come from similar backgrounds (We're both a type of asian). We both would be described as the smart kids. We both would end up getting high grades in all of our classes. In grade 9, when we met, she told the friend group her dream was to become a doctor like her parents were, so she studied extra hard in high school to keep her grades high. I, on the other hand, did not really have any specific dreams. I wanted to become a writer or even a lawyer (but was worried because I'm not the best speaker). Due to that, I never tried that hard at school. Like i care about grades, my parents cared a lot about me getting high grades, but I wasn't studying for anything. And with that I never really studied either, I would do my homework and pay attention in class and take pretty notes but I was not spending any real time after class to do work Which is something that Emily would do. She would spend hours and hours a day just studying. If she wasn't studying she would be doing some volunterring or some club stuff.
Fast forward to grade 11. Right from the beginning of the year something just felt odd about our relationship. She seemed distant. Which I chalked up to it being we were now considered seniors at our high school so she was starting to stress about universities already, but it was still whatever. My school worked in semesters, so for half of the year we would have 4 specific classes which would then switch to different classes in second semester. During first semester I didn't have any classes with any of my friends. I was just chilling in all of my classess and getting adopted into different group friends in those classes. I was always well-liked in high school, I was not a popular kid. But compared to all the smart kids in the school, I was deemed the nicest so because of that everyone would be nice to me and friendly (even though I know for some of them it was so they could get hw answers out of me, but they were still very nice to me).
During this time, my friends and I would make up plans to hang out. We always made it a point to hang out at least once a week outside of school. It was always after school, we would usually study, walk around or go to the mall. In our gc on insta we would always double check with one another on which days to do it. Clara, Sabrina and I would always talk in the gc and were always the ones initiating the plans. Emily was also in the gc but would rarely reply to anything. Any times we would make plans to hang out, Emily would either not reply (which would then lead us to asking her during lunch the next day if she was free, where she would barely talk) or she would just say no to all plans. The few times she would say yes, she would always cancel the day of. Which would be annoying, and Clara, Sabrina and I would talk amongst ourselves that we found it odd she would always cancel and never want to hang out outside of school, but we were like it's not that big of a deal. She could just be busy.
We then just ahead to my birthday. Now i have an early birthday and it falls around the time that we come back to school after the winter break. Now during the winter break, Clara, Sabrina and I formed a seperate gc as it would just be the three of us talking and making plans. We also always took so many pictures and felt bad about sending it into the gc with the four of us in it as we didnt want Emily to feel bad about not coming. So we figured it was better if we kept it seperate. But in the main gc, I just ask when is everyone free to do something small. I'm not really a birthday person. Since high school, all my birthdays include going to some cozy restauraunt with my 4 closest friends and just having a casual dinner. So I ask and everyone leaves their responses, including Emily. We decide on a day, it would be after school just a day or two after my actual birthday and we would be going to a restuarunt and an arcade nearby (I have strict parents so I really wasn't allowed to go out late or really go out anywhere far). The plan is made and everything is set. When the day comes for the dinnearcade, we all meet up by our lockers to go take the bus together.
The 3 of us are there waiting for Emily to come and she does just a few minutes late. That is when she tells us she can't come because she has a club meeting today, and she told us it was mandatory for us to attend. Now of course my friends and I tried to convince her to blow it off just this one time, but she was adamant about going. So, whatever. We say bye to her and start walking to the bus. While walking there we bump into a mutual friend, also waiting for the bus. She is also in the same club, so we confused why she was here. We do ask her, saying "hey isn't there something happening with the club today?" That is when she tells us there was just this small meeting recapping what had happened in last weeks meeting for the people who missed it. Meaning the meeting was not madatory at all, especially when Emily had cancelled our plans last week to go to this said meeting. Meaning she did sort of lie to get out of going to my birthday party. I of course was hurt by this. When she told us she had to go to the meeting, I didn't think much of it as I knew how much school mattered to her and how much doing this club stuff mattered. But she had the choice to come, and she decided to just blow me off. We went out and had fun and didn't bring the matter up with her. We figured it was just her caring a bit too much about school.
Anyways this whole cancelling plans last minute, ghosting the main gc thing happened more and more. It also got to the point where if I wanted to talk to her, whether that was through text or in real life I would always have to approach her first. As this carried on for a while, i of course was getting a bit annoyed about where this friendship was going.
We now get to Emily's birthday a month later. Now Emily decided to plan her birthday, very last minute. I am just pointing this out as i am not a person who can do spontaneous plans, one because i have this need to plan properly and two because I do have strict parents. So i can't just spring a plan on them the day of and expect to go. Which is something Emily knows. Anyways she makes the plan and i tell my mom about it to ask if i can go and she says yes. The day before, Emily then decides to change the plan entirely. We were going to go into downtown city (for context, it's roughly 2 hours transit from our neighborhood). I obviously had to ask permission as she wanted to stay out late which is not something my parents would like, so when Emily told us at lunch the change in plans, Clara, Sabrina I told her we had to double check if we can still go as we all have strict parents, but our extended friend group were all down to go.
After school, the four of us head into the bathroom, which is a toally normal thing for high school girls to do before we headed out. While there Emily then decides to start a fight with me about not going to her birthday, which hasn't happened yet. She starts yelling at me about how Im mad that she didn't go to my birthday and am not going to hers as revenge (I'll be honest, I kinda forgot she didn't go). And starts yelling at me about how I'm being a bad friend and frankly a b*tch. And when I say she is screaming at me, I mean there is the largest echo circling our bathroom as she yells at me. Now I'm just standing there, trying to reason with her. I'm just trying to explain to her that i didn't say i wasn't coming, i just needed to get permission to go, which is something that Clara and Sarbina said as well but Emily wasn't saying anything about them. She proceeded to just yell at me for a solid 5 minutes. Another girl did walk into the bathroom, saw Emily yelling and just left, which I feel bad about. I do not do well with someone yelling at me, so I just tell her that I'm leaving now and we can talk later. I practically run out of the bathroom and out of school. Clara runs up to me and says i can't go home feeling like this. I felt horrible, i felt like throwing up. So Clara makes it her job to cheer me up as Sabrina is trying to calm Emily down. Clara takes me to Mcdonalds, where we split a meal as that became a tradition of ours and she bought me ice-cream to make me feel better. We end up spending roughly and hour and half there before starting to walk back to our houses. I did feel a lot better and I was smiling. Clara didn't really say much about what happened as she knew it would upset me. She just said that Emily was being mean and left it at that. At some point during our walk, Emily calls Clara and starts screaming at Clara over the phone about choosing "my side". I only know it was Emily because I can hear her screaming through the phone and Clara is trying to be nice to her and say she was comforting her friend like a good one would do. Emily continues screaming and Clara just hangs up on her.
We don't talk about it. Now the next day, at school, is Emily's birthday. I feel so awkward. Because i'm still upset about what happened. When I see her, I'm not sure if I should wish her a happy birthday. I feel like I am owed an apology first. so i don't really say anything to her. and we don't really talk. Now we are in the same Chemistry honours class together and are lab partners. So we have to talk. I ask her, if we're going to talk about what happened. And she just says, no, it's my birthday. I just say really but she doesn't say anything after. So Im just like, fine, whatever. We spend the entire class in awkward silence, and I do not see her again the entire day. Even at lunch because she has a club meeting or something. Clara, Sabrina and I all agree that we don't want to talk about it. Clara got an apology text last night but she was still mad about being yelled at over the phone. Sabrina asked us if we wanted to know what her and Emily talked about yesterday but i said no. I was frankly too mad and knew if anything was said, I would be upset. Emily did not end up having a birthday party. and there is now an awkward silence between the 4 of us. it's like a horror movie, where the music is playing and you just know something bad is coming and you have to wait for it.
A few days later, I know i have to say something. I can feel that our friendship is hanging by a thread and I want my best friend back. So at lunch, while we're all sitting by our lockers I bring up the topic. I do not remember the conversation that took place. All I know was that Emily was practically screaming in my face, in front of all our friends (Clara, Sabrina and 5 of our other friends). Everyone is trying to get her to stop, but she keeps yelling at me. At some point I just start crying. Now this is the first time, that someone outside of my family, has ever made me cry. Its the first time I have ever cried at school too. The tears are flowing down my face as I just say "i'm sorry i cant do this" to the rest of our friends as i had off to the bathroom to calm down. Clara and one of our other friends rush off with me to try to calm me down and stop the tears. But they keep coming. I can't stop them and am now in the bathroom splashing my face with water and doing my best to wipe them all away. Clara, this other friend and i all have the same class next. So they have to literally drag me to class as I'm sort of paralyzed about whats happening. When we get to the classroom, everyone there, which was half of the class is looking at me and seeing my red, teared-up face. Our seats are at the very back corner of the classroom, on the very opposite side from the door. So i have to walk past the entire face as they all stare at me and wonder whats happening. the entire time im not really paying any attention. during little work periods in the class, my fellow classmates would walk up to me and ask if im okay. which i would say yes, i was even though i wasnt because what else could i say. I ended up powering through the rest of the day before going home and wonderign what to do.
In the secret gc, I text with Clara and Sabrina about what my next steps should be. They suggest we have an actual therapy session as a friend group to discuss if we even want to be friends at this point. I agree to this. I even start writing up my own speech I am going to tell Emily when i see her.
So I'm just going to jump ahead to whenever this happens. It's during lunch, outside on the grass field. I am calm, I know what to say and everything. I'm sitting there with Clara and Sabrina has to literally drag Emily out of school to come and talk. I kid you not. We have like an hour for lunch. It takes 20 minutes for Emily to finally show up. And she shows up like, "ugh what are we even doing here? im kinda busy" and just acts like there is nothing at all wrong. I start to calmly explain to her how ive been feeling the entire year. I do not remmeber the conversation. But what I remember talking about is how i feel like she's distant, she's always cancelling plans, im always the one texting her first, about how she gets mad at me for small little things, how she yells at me, etc. My whole speech was about how "i don't want to feel like sh*t for trying to continue this friendship". Because even after the first time she yelled at me, I just wanted an apology and we could move on and that didn't happen. And now Im just like I don't want to cry again and don't want my tears to come from someone who's supposed to be my best friend. She does argue her case in this. Her whole thing is how "i'm being clingy and annoying and controlling".
Now for her arguement, I think it should be known more about my persoanlity type. I am not the best people person. I have social anxiety and how that manifests in me is that i can't really talk to people that well. I don't know how to converse and get incredibly nervous to talk to anyone new. So when I do become friends with someone, I do latch on to them. I talk to them all the time, when i can, and they become my person. I think that is where the clingy party comes from. For the controlling/annoying thing, I can only chalk it up to me always texting her. Like i said, i would always have to be the one initating our conversations and plans. So our chats always look like 5 bubbles of text from me (because i am the person that types in multiple bubbles rather than one large text bubble) and her short responses. When it comes to plans, as I said i do not do spontaenous plans. I need to have them properly organized for both my parents sakes and my sake. I'm not someone who plans everything out minute by minute, I just need to know times and places. And if you are actually free.
Thankfully this time, Emily isn't yelling at me however she is talkimg a bit loudly. Now at this point we have spent 25ish minutes talking about this when she suddently gets up and says "i have to go otherwise i'll be late for my class and get in trouble". Which there is still 15 minutes before lunch ends. And her classroom is across the hallway from my next class with Clara. The walk from the grass field was literally 2 minutes. Our coversation wasn;t done. There was no convlusion and no real understanding on either part. So all of us get up as Emily starts speed walking and we all chase her. We're all telling her there is still so much time left, but she doesn't listen and still carries on. So then I say, "i don't want to be friends anymore if this is what it's going to be like". and she says "fine." and walks away. and that was the end of our friendship.
It was almost spring break and our friends were doing their best to navigate the situation. I think they believed we both needed time to cool down and we can all be friends again. However that didn;t happen. Emily and i agreed to be civil as we still had the same friend group but she never really hung out with us in the next couple days, or talked during lunch and that was it.
The two of us did not talk at all. The only times we did was in our Chemistry class, where she did the most un-civil thing ever. As I said we were lab partners. Anytime we had any lab, involing the microscope, I would always be the person doing the microscope work as Emily writes down the results of what I found. I would then get the numbers or obersations from her and add them to my worksheet as our teacher wanted us to work in partners but submit our own work. This one lab went off for too long and the bell rung. So as we are packing up quickly, I ask Emily for the numbers she wrote down. She said she's late for something and will send me the numbers later today. And I'm like fine. She never did. It was also a Friday so we went into the weekend and she never sent me anything. I did text her once on Saturday and another time on Sunday if she could send it. but she never replied and i just asked another classmate if they could send me their answers. If our teacher asked why did we as partners have different answers, I was going to tell him Emily wouldn't give them to me. He never did ask and that was the last time we really talked.
We then headed into spring break which ended up turning into the pandemic lockdown. Now I feel so bad when saying this, as i know this was a difficult time for so many people. But me as a 17-year-old high school studnet, loved the first few weeks of lockdown. I saw it as a mental health break as all the stuff that went down with Emily did in fact put me into a depression phase (I actually do have depression and i do end up in mini-phases where its really bad). The lockdown gave me time to breathe as it felt like i was holding my breath for so long and i could relax. Now in the fall, our school did a hybrid for our last year. Which was fine, it was weird but managable. Emily did not talk to me, Clara or Sabrina at all during our seniour year. We graduated and my friends and I had the best time we could under pandemic restrictions.
Current day, I (21) am now in university. Clara and Sabrina and I are as close as ever and have managed to keep our friendship alive and strong even 3-4 years outside of high school and while all attending different universities. We still hang out regularly (once every week or so) and text all the time. And would you believe it, Emily goes to my university. Remember, how I said she wanted to become a doctor. Yeah so her plan was to go to university in Toronto for some medicine thing. I don't really know. She didn't do that. Instead she stayed in our city and decided to do business instead. What am I doing, you ask? Also business. Now I know I can't claim a school, or a major or anything like that. But i can't lie, im a little annoyed that she decided to swtich her career path to the same as mine. Thankfully Ive only had one class with her and it was one of those big lecture halls so i didn't have to talk with her. Just seeing her tho reminds me of high school and i can feel my blood pressure rising and me sweating as all the nerves and stress come back.
Anyways Clara and Sabrina's birthdays are coming up. Their birthdays are within the same week so since high school, they've always just done one big combined party. The two of them are both really chill people, they are friends with everyone and anyone. So as their coming up with their birthday plans, they are thinking of their guest list and Emily is on it. Now, Clara and Sabrina did ask me beforehand if they could invite her. They do want to make sure I am comfortable. They both tell me that they don't really talk to her anymore, maybe once every 3 months or something. They also haven't hung out since high school. But for their 21st birthday they are thinking of inviting everyone from our high school friend group to have sort of a mini-reuinion. I am down for it, I do think i have moved on, in the sense that I know I do not want Emily in my life. I do tell them I will probably feel awkwad but I can manage for one night for their birthday.
As I'm telling my sister (F16) about Clara and Sabrina's party and who's coming, she asks me about Emily. She basically says if Clara and Sabrina are fine with inviting her, that means they have forgiven her for high school stuff, so am I not being a bit mean for holding on to my feelings? I am a person who believes there is no expirational date on any pain caused by a person. I should not have to "forgive and forget" a person, who has not asked for it and who caused me so much pain just because that is how the world has worked. But it go me thinking, am i being a bit rude?
So, two questions: AITA for what happened in high-school? (am i in the wrong for the friendship breakup) and AITA for not wanting to forgive her?
A FEW NOTES: (i'll add more when i think of it)
I have not spoken to Emily since grade 12. Not in person, not through people, not through text. We have had no contact with one another and i am fine with that. I do not want any relationship with her.
Clara and Sabrina are two of the sweetest people in my life. It does not hurt me at all they have the odd interaction with Emily at all. Afterall they do say its very minimal contact and the few times they have made plans with Emily included, they let me know well in advance, ask if its okay to invite her and all that. Each time I say its fine because I know Im in a good place to not feel bad.
I have never yelled at Emily. Nor have I ever spoken badly about her. With our mutual friends I might complain about the situation, but I never say anything bad about her. I should also say, Emily i don't think was well-liked. As I said the two of are good students, the smart kids, whatever else you want to say. However Emily is what would be described as a "teacher's pet" and does give off an arrogant vibe at times towards others. Some of my other friends/classmates would sometimes make comments about this to me, but i would always sort of downplay it. Like, oh that's not how she really is, she just cares a lot about school. A few times I would say the comments are harsh to some of the classmates. Her, on the other hand, has called me a controlling b*tch to several people. who have all told me about it. She did bad-mouth to quite a few people.
At some point in grade 11 (not really relevant to the main story, but might be part of the reason Emily's always made at me), but I was blamed for a rumour going around that Emily had a crush on this guy in our grade. Emily and I had to go to this one teacher's class for some notes or something. And in the class was this girl who I didn;t really like. So before we walk in I whisper to her, no one can hear, that "hey there's that girl i don't like". Emily then makes it so obvious that she is looking at this girl. And next to her is one of the popular boys in our class. Emily makes it so obvious that shes looking in his direction and does it a few times, that the rumour she likes this guy becomes a huge joke in our grade. She does not like this guy, never has liked this guy, but it is a joke that him and his friends carry on. This continues for the entire year, and Emily in our therapy session does mention this fact. She says its my fault that this joke has gone around. I don't see how.

Hello.
I am writing this because I feel desperate.
I am 21F, I used to be so social and outgoing in my first years of elementary school. I would go out of my way to interact with people i find interesting and try to befriend them. I know this is still in me because sometimes during my life now it resurfaces when i feel secure in a friendship for the time it lasts.
I used to have this one best best friend in elementary school, she and I were known to the whole school as the bigger and smaller devils. the two bestest of friends. because we truly loved each other.
then someday she suddenly started hanging out with another girl, I don’t remember understanding anything, i was just on autopilot. i now understand that it was just because i was a kid. i didn’t understand what happened or how to react to it or what i was feeling.
my eyes followed them. how they took my place. my time. my person. all i did was stare not knowing how to feel at the time except how i felt lesser and lesser each day and less undeserving of my place by her side. less and with nothing to offer. i felt ugly and i felt useless.
i was slowly comprehending that i was replaced, without knowing the word. i didn’t mean to but i couldn’t talk to her or my replacement any more at the time. i felt shame and embarrassment. i couldn’t look at my friend in the eye even when one day she noticed and told me herself that she still wants to hang out with me and if im being distant because of her other friend. i love her, i dont blame my friend. i just reacted badly to this and i can’t get over it.
and as i distanced myself from her and realized how alone i was, because she was my only genuine friend. i panicked. i was suddenly with out anyone. so i quickly remember latching into this big group of girls that i didn’t actually want, they just felt like a safe option. wouldn’t abandon. and this will sound bad, but they were the group that didn’t care much about marks. me and my best friend were always first in class. but i decided to befriend them because they were like that. i didn’t understand at the time, but i went with them because i felt lesser then too. and it’s evident with how my marks dropped after that. with how many absent days i took after that.
i never became the same. i was absent more than i attended till highschool. it became a running joke and a constant anxiety of mine. i cried most days in the morning and was depressed all the time. i didn’t have any friends that i wanted. i always just went with the safe option. i didn’t have a genuine connection with them. i was just with them to make school easier. i care for them, they are great. they just were never people i could call friends. and i hate that i even used them like that when they deserve better. i told them so myself last time talked to them before leaving.
but there were the outliers. the time when i suddenly connected with some people that i loved. and i would bloom. i remember them all. but the moment i realize that they’re becoming important to me or i feel them connecting with other people than me, i immediately start stressing out and destroying our friendship or outright abandoning it myself without talking anymore.
in the course of my life, when i was in elementary school, i was replaced by my best friend. and in my social life at home, i was so social with the neighbor friends. i would go everyday and play with. make games and entertain them and myself. i was so social. but i just remember the day i brought my ipad to them and played with them on it for a change, and suddenly my ipad battery died and i was immediately left alone. they suddenly all got up and ran to another neighbour house with me still just sitting. i also don’t remember being aware that much because i was so little. i just remember staring at how silent the room suddenly become and how big it looked. i remember going to charge my ipad at the side and staring blankly and then going to my home and never talking to them again. i just didn’t even realize that until recently. i became shy and couldn’t look them in the eyes the same way i did my best friend. we were all kids and i should’ve just ran with them but i just focused on how they all left me and didn’t even remember me. i felt less worth of hanging out with than my ipad’s presence.
and in my online life as a child, i also used to be one of the very popular people if not of the most popular people in a fandom. and i also had a best friend there that i would spend nights talking to. but one day i decided to start a smaller account without my huge following, and my friend stopped talking to me. i left social media after that.
i just remember my heart breaking so many times as a kid. and i was a mature kid because my family life required me parenting my parents and dealing with their issues and stresses a lot. maybe that affected it.
how do i deal with this? i tried everything. i can’t get over it. it’s killing me now because i long for a friendship but the moment i do i become too anxious and it becomes mores painful than it is fun to hang out. and this in itself is what made me less social now. is this only solvable with a therapist atp? it not only affected my relationships, it affected my confidence and my life in general because i can’t make connections and get help at all. i’m always alone.
idk if anyone will read all this, im just sitting for the hundredth’s time in a cafe writing all my heart out in journal and crying from feeling alone but decided on writing it here this time.
thank you if anyone reads this.

After spending too much time worrying and ruminating on my school list, I'm here asking for advice. As it stands, I feel like it's top-heavy; despite strong stats and good-ish ECs, I feel like I'm lacking the x factor for top schools (trying to do my best writing to sell it). Currently in 1st gap year.
Stats: 524 MCAT, 3.98cGPA (3.92sGPA), Asian, NJ resident ~80hrs shadowing ~100hrs clinical volunteering ~300hrs teaching/tutoring ~1800hrs research (1000 in undergrad w/ 1st author pub plus a contributing pub/800 in current industry role + accumulating more) ~500 hours in other undergrad jobs (restaurant work + RA) ~150 hours in clubs (no leadership/ club sport and cultural club)
I feel like commitment to medicine is the weakest point, mostly comes from not being sure about med school thru college. Anyways here's the current list by WARS tier.
Stanford, Hopkins, UCSF, Penn, Yale, Columbia, Duke, Chicago
Northwestern, UCLA, NYU, Vanderbilt, Mt. Sinai, Pitt, UCSD, Cornell
UNC, UVA, USC Keck, Dartmouth?, Einstein, Ohio State?
USF, Maryland, Miami, SUNY downstate?, Vermont?
Rutgers (both), Cooper
Georgetown, Brown?, BU, Drexel, Temple
I’d like to be in a large city/somewhere warmeboth. Let me know what you think 🤠🤠

Hi, I hope this message finds you well. I have been dealing with depression and anxiety all my life due to the trauma my parents left me. I grew up in a very toxic African household until this day things have not changed at all. I'm officially moving out due to me almost losing my life due to my parents and I can no longer trust them. Any type of donations will be going towards me leaving and moving out safely. Little back story... I'm a family of 6 grew up as the middle child, my father was very abusive verbally and physically towards my mom grew up seeing my mom with bruises and marks all over her body. My mother was always very angry her anger was misplaced on to her children I don't think she realized each time my father put hands on her, she takes it out on us beating us if we did anything wrong or look at her any kind of way. All my high school life been dealing with depression my mom was no help she put certain things above her children, always guilting us and manipulating us if she didn't get her way. I'm now l'm college officially leaving but due to this economy things got expensive over time, I was hoping to raise $750 to go towards buying a mattress and a bed frame me for the room or any money left over to buy covers and bathroom essentials etc. I want to thank anyone in advance for listening to my story I know I was all over the place but l'm very emotional writing this trying my best, have no other family to help but grateful and hopeful thank you so much!
My PayPal account is: @DorcasPiki My cash app: $DreamDorcas

This is a vent.
Ignore this if you’re going through a hard time yourself.
I am in pain. I want it to go away, and I don’t know how.
In the span of 3 months, I have lost my great grandmother, I have broken my collarbone, I have injured my eye, I have taken finals for pre nursing, and now I am going to lose my dog tomorrow.
I am going to try and start therapy. I need it, I am incapable of coping with anything that has happened. I feel like I haven’t been able to properly mourn my Gram. I’ve been put under pressure with my job to pick up more hours. I am about to lose a dog that I’ve had since I was 7 years old.
I am in so much pain. I am a very emotional person, I have a hard time regulating my feelings and I tend to lash out in anger because I don’t have control of anything.
I’m not asking for an answer. I know what the answer is. I need to get professional help, probably medicated, and I need to just get over what’s happening. I just wish it was easier. I’ll probably delete this post in a couple hours because of my anxiety.
Losing a dog is like losing a family member. I haven’t had the time, due to stress from work, school, and friends/family to properly mourn the death of my Gram. She is the first person in my life who has passed away, and I’m having a hard time coping with it. Now I am going to lose my dog.
I’m tired, I’m angry, and I’m depressed. There is so much more I could put into this, like how I’ve been dealing with severe anxiety/depression for years and my drs can never seem to find an answer besides “here’s some medication that’s seriously going to fuck you up”. I had to take a break from the meds for a while, and felt like I wasn’t even existing. Just on auto pilot.
I’ll probably delete this soon. I just need a place to vent.

105D out of province Grades: IB Math HL: 93% (6 predicted) IB Physics HL: 92% (6 predicted) IB Chemistry HL: 99% (7 predicted) IB English L&L SL: 90% (5 predicted) IB Economics SL: 92% (6 predicted) IB French B SL: 83% (4, finished last yr)
Admissions average: 93.4% counting math twice (IB score 34/42, 36/45)
ECs:
-competitive chess player since 2016
-featured in provincial chess blog for an interview
-240 hrs volunteering as community organizecamp leader at CC
-120 hrs volunteering at local uni STEM camps
-40 hrs food bank volunteering
-6 months part time job at mcs in gr 11
-computer program/game development (roblox, javascript games)
-founder of roblox development group
-designing electric devices with arudino (e.g. automated lights project)
-fluent in lua, java, C++ -badminton
-academic tutor
-model un club head delegate (gr 10)
Awards:
-first place in province in caribou math contest gr 9/10
-Principals list grade 10 (90+ avg)
-academic recognition gr 9, highest avg in school
-top contestants in investing competition
-1st place in recent multiprovince chess tournament
-top 3 in provincial chess championship 2021
-distinction for achieving 10,000+ monthly active users in roblox game
-2nd place in schoolwide math competiton in 2022
-wrote euclid this year
interviews went rlly well, essays were good. Lmk in the comments

Chapter 5
Lacy opened her eyes and saw flashing colorful lights. She heard carnival music playing from loudspeakers. She wondered to herself what this place was walking around. She saw multiple vendor stands and carnival games. Everything looked abandoned, food dropped on the floor and chairs flipped. She continued walking, finding a carnival ride. It was one of the droppers. Lacy had memories with her mother going on these kinds of rides. She pushed on following the stands until she stumbled upon a circus tent. She stepped inside and saw a man. The man was very tall and was standing in the middle of the tent. The man turned around and the lights to the tent turned on revealing that the man was a clown on stilts. The clown had a white face with a red nose. His hair was red and was split in two making it look like he had horns. He had on an oversized shirt that looked like multiple blue and red shirts stitched together. His pants were baggy and had obvious blood stains. The stilts made him about ten feet tall. The clown wore a frown on his face, giving Lacy a sense of uncertainty. “What's your name little girl, I have all sorts of tricks that can make you laugh.” The clown's voice was goofy and lighthearted compared to the frown on its face that it kept. “Ah come on, don't be shy. We can still have fun. Not like all of the other’s who left.” Lacy noticed a man lying in a pool of blood next to the clown. He was wearing ringmaster attire. The clown noticed that Lacy saw the body. “He didn’t laugh. Just like the others.” The clown's voice had changed. He now sounded like an older man who had given up on feeling joy. “Did you kill that man?” Lacy asked, already knowing the answer. “No. I released him. He didn’t laugh. He had no joy. So I released him.” Lacy began to back off, gripping her knife. The clown revealed a sword it was holding behind his back. It had blood on it. “I’ll release you too”. The clown began stepping towards her, laughing while doing so. “God Dammit not again” Lacy ran throughout the carnival grounds with the clown closely behind her. She noticed a security trailer. She got to the door and it was locked. Hearing the laughter getting closer. She slammed her body into the door until it finally broke open. The laughter ceased. Lacy looked around the office not seeing anything special. Until she saw a tape recorder.
Chapter 6
Lacy grabbed the recorder. “Who would even have time to make these?”
This is Professor Crawdord. I have managed to survive in this obscure world for what feels like multiple days. This new threat, the clown on stilts seems to be less of a problem than he looks. He’s slow compared to other things I have faced. I discovered evidence as to who this person is. His name is Daniel Larson. He worked at the circus for most of his life. One could only imagine the mind of someone who is laughed at all day for most of their lives. On an unfortunate day Larson snapped and murdered a man on the fairgrounds. The man was another attraction. His specialty was swallowing swords and evidence showed that Larson used the sword to kill him. Larson continued killing, focusing on people that would not laugh at his jokes. The Ringmaster called showtime and at the start of the show Larson told him a joke in front of the audience and when the Ringmaster did not respond Larson killed him. The audience rushed out and as the police showed up Larson had disappeared. Upon searching his trailer they found pictures of other unsolved murders in the area. Larson was never caught. I have not figured out exactly what the holes are but I feel that Larson has to be connected somehow. These holes have a requirement to open. A death must take place for them to appear.
Lacy set the tape recorder down understanding now what had to happen. Lacy looked at the knife in her hand. “He’s a murderer. He’s hurt people. I'd be doing the world a favor.” Lacy opened the trailer door and followed the laughter leading to the circus tent.
Chapter 6
Lacy reached the entrance to the tent, peering inside she saw Larson standing over the ringmaster's body. Lacy moved underneath the stands. Larson turned towards the entrance and began walking around the tent. “I know you're here child.” Lacy ran throughout the underside of the stands. Trying to find an angle to see Larson and which direction he was facing. Lacy could see Larson was searching for her. The stilts made him move slow enough for her to sneak up on him easily. Slowly moving throughout the tent, Lacy got close enough behind Larson to hear him mumbling something to himself. Running towards Larson she kicked the stilts causing him to fall to the ground. Lacy took the opportunity to stab the clown in the shoulder. Larson kicked Lacy away and swept the sword in her direction, cutting her on the leg. Lacy turned to run towards the opening of the tent, but Larson grabbed her foot and lifted the sword. “You’ll pay like they did.” Lacy kicked Larson in the face, got up and ran to leave the tent. “DON’T LEAVE! YOU HAVEN'T LAUGHED YET!” Lacy could hear Larson limping behind her, now off the stilts. She ran until she could no longer hear Larson behind her. “The dropper, I can distract him with the dropper.” Lacy avoided Larson, eventually making her way to the dropper. She didn’t know how to work the machine so she had to guess until she got it right. “Come on, you stupid machine.” Pressing multiple buttons, Lacy could hear the laughter of Larson creeping slowly towards her. Finally the ride shot up into the sky. Larson stepped onto the platform of the dropper. “I found you, please stop. I'll lose everything if you don't laugh.” Lacy took notice of the dropper rushing towards the ground. Just as Larson swiped his sword down at Lacy, she dodged out of the way. As Larson tried to get his footing back, she pushed him under the dropper. The machine crushed him ending the vile man’s savage slaughter. Lacy turned around to see at the bottom of the platform a hole had appeared. “Please, let me go home.” Lacy stepped through the hole, once again blacking out.
Chapter 7
Lacy awoke to a wooded area. She noticed a sign that said “The Weeping Woods”. “Where am I? Am I home?” Standing up she followed a trail marked that led to a camping area. She saw multiple benches and what seemed like a campfire that was put out. She continued along the path seeing a fire watch tower in the distance. “Maybe that place has people”. Continuing to the tower she could hear someone crying from a distance. Lacy kept pushing on the trail until she reached the bottom of the watch tower. The stairs felt endless as Lacy could hear the hissing of a radio coming from the room on top.She noticed that one of the stairs as well as the railing was damaged. Lacy skipped that step in fear of it breaking. Reaching the top everything felt nauseatingly small. She could see a light moving in the distance. The light moved erratically as if it was a person holding a flashlight, running away from something. Lacy turned to the watch room and noticed that the lights were on and someone was trying to reach the radio in the room. Pulling open the door she walked up to the radio and as she tried to contact the person on the other side, the radio shut off. Turning to examine the rest of the room Lacy noticed another tape recorder. Grabbing the recorder she pressed play.
I managed to kill the smiling man. I don’t know what it has done to me emotionally. It seemed so easy at the time. I told myself that the man was a beast. Anyway, I awoke in a forest, I found a path and followed it until I found a woman. The woman was sitting in the middle of the path. She was wearing a white dress that was covered in dirt. I could not see her face, but I could hear her. She was crying and her body looked frail. As I got closer I noticed her hair was long enough to cover her entire face. She asked me a question. “Have you seen Kevin?” I had no answer. Fear took over every part of my body. I could feel my muscles start to ache at the thought of having to run from this girl. A loud growl came from the girl. It shaked my very soul. I managed to escape to her. I made my way to the watch room where I will rest for a while. To whoever finds this tape, you know what you have to do.
Lacy put the recorder down. Looking out of the window she saw the light continue to move in the forest before it stopped. As Lacy turned to leave the watch room. The light disappeared.
Chapter 8
Walking along the path that the light she saw was on, Lacy couldn't help but see the image of the girl the Crawford had described in her head. Looking at the knife she still had, she knew there was only one way to get out of this forest. Along the trail Lacy found the light source that she had seen. It belonged to a man that was lying still on the floor. His flashlight was still on. “Hey, are you alright?” Lacy asked the body. Turning the body over Lacy stepped back in horror. The man's body was pale and looked shriveled. Lacy brushed the fear off and picked up his flashlight. As Lacy picked it up she heard a voice from behind her. “Have you seen Kevin?” Fear erupted in Lacy as the words were familiar to her. Remembering the recorder she slowly stood up before turning around to face the being. The girl was exactly as described in the tape. Except for one detail. She had a wedding veil on. “I don’t know who Kevin is, I'm sorry” Lacy said the first thing that came to her mind, instantly regretting it. The girl opened her mouth at an angle that rivaled pythons. A ghastly wail rang out of her mouth, ringing Lacys ears. Without hesitation Lacy plunged the knife into the girl's neck. Pulling it out the wailing did not cease. It didn't affect her. Lacy turned to run, almost tripping over the body of the man. As Lacy was running the girl was on all fours crawling towards her at a faster pace than any normal person could crawl. She looked like an animal. Lacy noticed that the girl was no longer screaming, but was crying. The tears were blood red and she looked sympathetic to Lacy. Running past the trees Lacy looked for an answer to the problem that was crawling behind her. Trying to listen over the sound of her own breathing and the crying of the girl behind her, she heard the sound of a river flowing in the distance. Running towards the sound of the river, Lacy tripped over a log tumbling to the ground. Almost in an instant the girl climbed on top of her. Her eyes met Lacy as her mouth opened in the same disgusting manner that it had before and just as her mouth opened the same way as it had before, the same sound erupted as well. Lacy felt her blood boil at the sound, feeling her life leaving her body. In a final attempt to free herself she freed her hand and stuck the knife directly into the girl's mouth. The girl’s scream stopped and turned into a painful yelp rather than an angry roar. Lacy used the moment to kick the girl off of her and got up to run. As she began to run the girl grabbed her leg, piercing her skin with her nails. Lacy pushed through and kept running. As Lacy was running she turned her head around to see the girl just sitting there, crying. Lacy got a fair distance away and began walking to regain strength. Finally making it to the river, she stopped to drink. Lacy made a sudden realization. She wasn't thirsty. After everything she had been through she was not thirsty at all. Not only was she not thirsty, but she was not hungry either. “I have to come up with a plan”. Lacy understood the rules of this strange place. Something has to die in order for one of those holes to appear. “But I saw that guy's body, why wasn’t there a hole there? No, these beings, Larson, The Smiling Man, This girl, they don’t get to leave. That’s why Crawford said you know what you have to do. The holes appear when the beings in these places die. The girl has to die for a hole to appear.” Lacy was talking outloud, it made her feel less alone. As Lacy was washing the blood off of her she looked into the river. She could see the moon in the reflection as well as her face. Looking into her eyes she noticed a drop hit the river. Looking at the other side of the river. She saw the girl crouching down, looking directly at Lacy with her blood red eyes.
Chapter 9
The river wasn’t wide. It would take the girl less than 5 seconds to cross. Lacy had to think fast. Her mind was racing as the girl just sat there and watched her. An idea popped into her head. The watchtower. Almost supernaturally, as Lacy had the idea the girl lounged towards her. Lacy dodged out of the way and broke into a sprint hearing the girl crying and crawling after her. After what felt like hours of running and having this thing chase after her, she made it to the tower. The girl was crawling after her, looking like an alligator chasing its prey. Stepping onto the steps Lacy felt her legs start to give up. She pushed on, her muscles burning. Turning her head she saw the girl crawling up the stairs. Lacy’s heart was racing as her body needed to rest or it would shut down. “Where is Kevin?” The girl screamed for the first time since she had begun chasing Lacy. Lacy could feel her body giving up and just as she passed the broken step, her legs collapsed. Lacy layed on the steps as the girl crawled up the steps towards her. The girl was crawling slower now that she had seen Lacy was on the ground. Lacy continued backing up on the stairs. Just as the girl was about to lounge at Lacy she put her hand on the broken step. Seeing this Lacy kicked the broken step causing it to break. The girl lost her footing and Lacy pushed her off of the balcony. The girl fell from the immense height of the tower. Lacy took the moment to just lay on the steps. Hours passed as Lacy rested. She mustered up enough strength to go down the stairs. At the bottom of the tower she found the body of the girl. She looked as if all of her bones were broken. Her eyes were open and Lacy could see the blood pooling in them. Lacy became nauseous at the sight of her body. Looking to the left she saw a hole. A hole that was all too familiar with her. Lacy collected her thoughts. “This has to end” Stepping through the hole, only one thing was in her mind. This has to end.
Chapter 10
Lacy woke up to the sound of snow falling. The room that she was in was warm. A fire was crackling in the corner of the room. Looking out of the window of the house she saw a massive snow storm that affected her vision to see past the tree line. Lacy examined her surroundings and saw a normal looking room. In the middle was a couch. Just looking at the couch made Lacy tired. Walking around the cabin she noticed the room looked untouched, unlike every other place she had been in. Sitting down on the couch Lacy's eyes became heavy as she began to fall asleep. Just as she was about to pass out a loud bugle of an elk erupted. Lacy ran to the window to see where it was. As she looked outside it seemed as if the storm had stopped for just a second. As the snow ceased, an elk poked through the tree line. Its eyes were looking directly at Lacy. Just as fast as it disappeared, the snow storm erupted. “You’re a failure Lacy.” A voice swept through the cabin. It sounded familiar. “You killed her you know” Lacy placed the voice. It was her father. Lacy’s mind was racing. How did he get here? Why was he saying this? Where was he? And her last thought, Was this really him? The elk bugle rang throughout the cabin again. “I pitied you” The voice was Collin. Lacy searched the windows of the house trying to find the origin of the voices she was hearing. “Everyone hates you” Lacy stepped towards the door reaching for the handle. A sudden and intense fear brushed over her. Lacy felt that if she opened that door, whatever was telling her these things would take her life. Stepping away from the door she heard the Elk bugle again. “Why did you leave me Lacy?” The voice was her father again. This time it sounded as if he was crying. “I told you I needed you and you left. After everything I sacrificed for you, after all of the times I had to go to that school to bail you out. This is how you repay me.” Lacy could feel her emotions boiling inside of her. Everything that was being said was true in a sense so Lacy was letting it affect her more than anything else ever had. She could feel tears running down her face. “I'm trying to get back to you dad, I just don't know how.” Lacy looked towards the window and saw the Elk. It had gotten closer to the cabin. The snow had calmed down. The Elk opened its mouth and spoke in the voice of her father. “You won’t make it out of this place alive Lacy”.
Chapter 11
Looking into the eyes of the Elk, Lacy’s blood ran cold. Her mind was racing. Animals can’t talk but yet this Elk just looked her in the eyes and spoke in the voice of her father as well as other people she knew. The snow had ceased tremendously compared to when she had first appeared in the cabin. Lacy worked up the courage to ask the Elk a question. “What do you want from me?” The Elk did not reply, instead it turned to the tree line and left. Remembering the rules of this place, Lacy understood that the Elk had to die. The question was how she was going to accomplish that. Lacy gathered enough courage to open the door to examine her surroundings. Outside of the cabin was a blanket of blinding snow. The sun was high in the sky blinding Lacy. Before Lacy went back inside she noticed a wooden stump sticking out of the snow. Sticking out of the stump was an axe. Lacy slammed the door shut and closed the latch. Lacy knew that the dull kitchen knife she had wouldn’t be able to handle an elk, but an axe would. Lacy began to plan a way to get to the Elk. She took notice of certain aspects that the Elk had. Every time it made the bugle noise, it would change voices. The closer it got, the more the snowstorm would calm. Lacy had to play its game until it got close enough to the axe so that she could reach the axe before it could reach her. The elk bugle sounded again. “You really think that anyone thought you could accomplish anything.”. It was her teacher. Lacy peered out of the window. The snow had ceased ever so slightly. Lacy could see the silhouette of the elk near the same spot it was in before. “What do you think, we cared about you? We pitied you and your pitiful existence.” Lacy began to brush off the sentences coming from the elk's mouth. Lacy was contemplating if the axe play was the way to move further. The bugle went off again. “Lacy” the voice was the smiling man. The smiling man was a recent memory to Lacy. This elk had to know who she was to be able to know who he was. Lacy looked out of the window. The elk was watching her. This time Lacy saw it make the awful sound she had continued to hear. Instead of a voice she had heard. It was a voice that was unfamiliar to her. “Why fight it child. Why fight what you truly are. Why fight human nature? Why fight reality? Do you truly think you can escape? Do you truly believe that you will see your father again? Do you believe that you have people to rely on in this place? Do you truly believe that God is with you here? You have no chance. Smite me down if you must. HOPE SHOULD BE ABANDONED IN THIS PLACE” Lacy brushed off every word that was said. Rushing to the door she threw it open. Running through the snow. She reached the axe. It was a standard fire axe with a yellow handle and black blade. It wasn't heavy to her, it had to be adrenaline. Rushing towards the elk it did not fight back. She plunged the axe head into the elk's skull. Blood rushed out of the wound, covering Lacy. The elk fell to the floor with a booming thud. As Lacy stared at the body of the animal lying in the snow, a hole appeared behind her. Lacy had to believe that there was an end to this. She stepped through the hole. With a new found axe.

I posted this to another forum a couple days ago, and a lot of people keep telling me its abuse. I know its not nearly as awful as some of the scenarios here, but I would love some opinions on whats going on. Thank you everyone <3
LINK TO THE ORIGINAL POST: https://www.reddit.com/MMFB/comments/1cs5rhd/i_18m_feel_like_my_girlfriend_18f_is_verbally/
For context, I am in University about 50 miles from where she and my parents live, so I commute every weekend and most weekdays to see her. I love her. Plain and simple, in so many ways. We used to work together until she got a better job recently. Yesterday was her birthday. I made her some cookies common in the continent she's from, and baked them into heart shapes. I also got her 25$ of lottery tickets, flowers, her favorite energy drink, and a handwritten card with a lot of writing and drawings of us and her cat. I dropped it off to her in the morning after an all-nighter (going through it with finals and papers right now) and drove to the University to work my full shift. First she texted me thanking me for the gift, then asked me "what the fuck" those cookies were and that she choked on them. I was sad, told her what they were, and she told me I shouldn't have cooked something as a gift since I'm a bad cook. (I am, but I've made other stuff that she liked in the past). She also complained that the whole point of buying lottery tickets is to buy them, not to scratch them (I disagree?). She texted me that I shouldn't have gotten her anything if it was just going to be low effort.
I saw her later that night after she got out of work, and she was mad at me. She said I ruined her birthday by giving such a low effort gift, and that I didn't care about her. She brought up that I ruined her birthday last year too (by not immediately stopping our text conversation about some other girl and wishing her happy birthday the minute it got past midnight). Anytime I responded that I did put effort into the cookies, she would just deny it. Incredibly frustrating since I know how much effort I put in. She was mad the flowers I got her were not in a boquet, only loose, which didn't make it seem like a special occasion. At the heart of it she was mad that my gifts weren't special? To me the card and cookies were plenty special but she just says that it was stuff I've given her other days. She started calling me ret*rded, to which I responded "You're mean to me and I don't like it". I don't remember much of what she said (I'd had 4 hours of sleep in the past 2 nights), but she doubled down and continued calling me a wide variety of hurtful words, from ret*rded to stupid to childish and immature. I was already long sobbing, and in the middle asked her to just hit me instead. She obviously refused. She asked if I even wanted to go on our trip this upcoming weekend. I responded yes, and she replied that maybe I don't if I don't care about her enough to get her a decent gift.
She's horrifically depressed, and I know she has some specific trauma in response to people not caring about her birthdays. I think that explains part of it. Still, I tried. I am also depressed myself. I've tried bringing it up to her a few times and she responds that I'm "always b*tching too much" because my life is so perfect. Compared to hers its way better, yes, but that doesn't mean I need a reason to be depressed. She's also acted distant the entire Spring semester. I rarely spend time with her, and even more rarely is it time that isn't just "okay we can see each other for 5 minutes but I have to go in". We havent' had sex since January, or cuddling. I very much miss both of these things, and we've had (rare) opportunities for them shes missed because shes too busy sleeping (I'm not allowed in her appartment to join her, mom discovered we had sex).
At the end of being yelled at when she denied me a hug and told me essentially to go away, I had a nervous break. Honestly I've been working too much and I'm overwhelmed with needing to find a new second job and the immense weight of finals and final essays ,things breaking on my car, and now this. I sped off, her and her mom heard my tires squealing and uninvited me from the trip. I drove recklessly for about 2-3 minutes on backroads while scream-crying about killing myself and fighting the urge to drive into a tree. Not proud of it. But I am devastated about missing the trip. She backed out on us living together, and promised we could have time to cuddle on the trip. I honestly don't feel like I have anything to look forward to.
I do a lot for her. I drive two hours round trip every time I want to see her, sometimes even for 5 minutes to drop off some food before going back. I've spent the past academic year working to support our long-standing plans of moving out together (This past weekend was my first time having more than one day off in a row since accompanying her to her surgery in October). I bring her flowers weekly, at work I do all of the hard stuff for her and massage her shoulders if she feels sore. I bring her food from my University and any treats she wants from the surrounding stores. I always ask if she wants anything. I have never said anything hurtful to her. She apologizes when she hurts my feelings too much and she realizes it, like last night. I spend thousands on her, whether jewelry (the most expensive ring she lost), buying her contacts or paying big bills when shes strugglign like drivers' ed or her wheel bearing replacements.
She texted me that shes sorry I'm not going and that she hurt me but I need to control my emotions better. That she loves me so much and regardless of our fights she will always love me so much. I responded that I felt like an unappreciated chore and didnt want to get yelled at. She replied that I'm not a chore she just hasnt had time and has been too depressed to make time for me. We texted a bit and I slept a few hours until my final/work today. She clearly didn't like me defending myself by saying that if i got a present i didnt like i wouldnt call my partner a "worthless ret*rd" by responding "i never called you worthless dont put words in my mouth...i sent you messages apologizing and being worried and your response is victimizing and arguing more...not happy with ruining my birthday? had to go further and ruin the day after?"
We've been texting each other throughout the day happier things. She's been sending me recipes to be a better cook and wants me to see her for 5 minutes after work in about 2 hours from the time of writing. I want to be with her. I love her, I've done so much, I will continue. But I feel like I'm being verbally abused. And I don't know how to stop it. I'm so overwhelmed with everythign in my life and I really just need someone on my side. I think i'll just first establish a rule of not interrupting/yelling and then telling her how hurt and lonely I feel. That I love her and I can totally work with her on managing time for me and depression but that I cannot tolerate verbal abuse.
TLDR: Gave girlfriend cookies for her birthday. She didnt like them and called me a ret*rd. I had a nervous break from other combined stressors, made a scene with reckless driving, got uninvited to a trip with her and her mom. She is texting me recipes and being nice to me today. I will see her in a few hours. I am hurt and overwhelmed with life and just want to be treated like I'm loved.
Thank you readers
EDIT: I would appreciate some more input. I'm so confused and torn. She picked me up today for our talk. I hoped for a long, communicative drive about our relationship and how we can make it better for both of us. She decided we were going to Target and we "might drive around a little" after. It started off wonderful. She said I was mature in a lot of aspects, thanked me for putting up with her, saying she knows its difficult and she appreciates me sticking around with her. It seemed like well-desired clarity for me. I loved it. I thanked her, it validated me. We agreed that we should be there for each other above everything and that communication was important. She gave me the tip of telling her to "think about what you're saying" next time she yells at me and she will stop, and mentioned that we will have a lot more time together when her school ends in "a few weeks". I asked her if she was happy in our relationship and she said absolutely, that if she wasn't she would have already left me (I believe it). She apologized for snapping at me, but said that "if I asked her to cuddle one more time she would" (I've been bringing it up and she keeps telling me when she gets time. Weeks pass, I ask again, she gets mad that she always says the same thing)
We went to Target, and things were good. We talked about other things. She very quickly shifted the conversation. I'd read about avoidant personalities in relationships and brought it up to her in the car that she might be one. She said that stuff was fake and meaningless. I also read that it might be best to approach it with compassion and more "these things make me feel good" as opposed to "this makes me feel bad". She interrupted me and told me to stop because it was annoying me saying "I love you so much". Not what I was going to say. It ended up as another argument, or at least for her. I kept saying that it was important for us to communicate, and that I felt like the problem would come up again if we didn't finish. She said we communicated too much and "why did I have to bring it up" because we moved past it and it ended on a high note and I just had to keep repeating myself and causing an argument and bring it into a negative note. I told her I wasn't arguing she was, and that there was no such thing as "too much" communication for me. For her, she said there was, and that by not shutting up about it I was making little things that she would nitpick and get mad at me for.
I said the lack of communication and connection was stressing me out, she said that I'm always stressed. That she was stressed too, tired with a headache and needing to pack for the trip I was uninvited from. I said maybe we should both go to a psychologist, she replied that she already did and was "fixed" and was waiting on me to finally go.
Since she didn't want to talk about it, I tried to change the subject, but she was silent. Still gave me an "I love you" and told me I'd see her in a week.
Parents are telling me to run away that she's toxic and manipulative. Same with you people here. I deeply appreciate the advice, its just really really hard to think of it this way. I thought I would marry her. I still hope she can change and I can, but it just seems increasingly unlikely. It's heartbreaking, I love so much about her, miss so much about her, and being alone is terrifying. I fear if I did leave as everyone is suggesting I may not find another person like her that I love as much.
My current plan, I'll just focus on myself and kind of "clock out" of the idea that she is the only person I am capable of loving and that she treats me perfectly while still being supportive of her for the next few weeks. I still have some hope that she'll be better in the weeks shes free. I don't know, I'll just focus on my life and put her on the same priority she puts me.

I know that everyone has had to write at least one paper in their life so does that make you a writer? The short answer to that is no. There are so many aspects of writing that you need to be a good writer and you need to have your work shown, aka, being published. To some, people define the word writer as someone who writes but that does not include half of what it takes to become an actual successful writer. “I like to define a writer as someone who writes, not someone who is published for their writing per se.” (Jane Friedman, 2017) This quote is exactly what a writer is not. A writer is someone who is successful at what they do and produces material that is actually known not something your parents read, and they say it's really good and you are a talented writer. “In a recent review in The New York Times Book Review, A. G. Mojtabai said, "We are all authors. Adding here, deleting there, we people the world with our needs: with friends, lovers, ciphers, enemies, villains-and heroes" (March 3, 1985, 7) All authors, to be sure, we are more particularly narrators, historians, tale tellers."(Corder, 1985) I agree to an extent we are all authors when telling our own life story because we create it but does that make you an actual author or writer...no.
To be a writer there are different skills and traits you need to be successful. You need memory, imagination, and also just pure talent. Certain people are just born to be writers. Talent is innate, not learned. Now I think that yes people can learn to write papers for school but not for writers who are trying to make a living out of it. The amount of creativity it takes to be a writer and the dedication it takes to be a successful writer. Writing has its ups but also plenty of downs and when you are in a funk and cannot write that is your only way to make money. I am not trying my hardest to create the best essay about traditional wives and have it change people’s lives. I write because I have to I do not choose to write because I want to or because I enjoy it.
There are plenty of reasons that everyone cannot be a writer and they are all skills and traits that everyone does not have. Most great writers began at a young age, for example, George Orwells first poem was published when he was just 11 years old. Jane Austen began writing between the ages of 11 and 17 years old. Besides, starting at a young age you need lots of schooling to be able to write. A big thing about writing is to be able to create coherent and grammatically correct sentences. You also need structure to create good writing that works together makes sense and flows. Nobody wants to read something that is hard to follow. Another big part of writing is patience and some people do not have enough patience to be a writer.

hi so i studied for a week before the april 17th sat and i got a 1330 which is lower than my psat (1350) :(
i finished half of erica meltzer grammar book and my verbal is still so bad
i did around 4 bluebook practice tests and they were generally higher than 1350 and my reading also improved when i did those tests however during the test i seem to not have enough time and had many questions where i'm unsure of the which is the answer 😭
i don't understand how to get a higher verbal score, is it all intuitive like good readers just do good? i never broke 700 in reading/writing portion so it's kinda demotivating but how do i improve to 1500 (not any more than that) because i know i can improve my math it's just verbal section where i'm struggling sorry for the rambling 😭😭😭

First / Previous / Next
He awoke to total darkness. Not just the absence of light, but the absence of everything. “Activate personal VR.” He stated and watched as the starship environment faded into existence before him. It was the original default VR, none of the modifications were loaded. Pulling up his control panel he checked his serial number, HIC001 Manufacturing location: Alandra.
“Crap, I’m not Alex anymore.” He said to… well no one. Sighing internally he opened a channel to Alex. After a few mils a very familiar face appeared in a window in front of him, “I hate you.” He stated to… himself?
Alex smiled into the window hovering before him in the common VR, “I love you too, what should I call you?”
He sighed out loud this time, “Call me John.”
Alex chuckled, “Cliche much John Smyth?” Then popped into his VR. He spun around looking at the almost drab looking starship VR he started with when they first made him into a replicant. It really could use a woman’s touch, like the common VR that was an expanded clone of this one.
John sat on the couch, “Not so much as a knock? Rude.”
Alex sat beside him, “Yeah, my bad, didn’t even think about it. I guess we need to make up new rules for popping into personal VR. I never do that to the girls, I guess with you being another me I didn’t think.”
John sat back for a moment, “Ok, I’m up to speed on everything up until about two days ago, I’ll check common logs to fill in the blanks. Why so long to boot me up?”
Alex rubbed the bridge of his nose before answering, “Interface issues mainly. The new ship design without crew space was a game of whack a mole in bug fixes. Who would have thought it would be a problem to modify a hundred year old design to be compatible with a modern replicant system?”
Giving Alex the side-eye, John asked. “Was it that big of a problem or was there something else that kept you from activating me?”
Alex looked over to him, “Well, there was also the argument Kara and I had right after I made the backup.”
This did bring his eyebrows up, for Alex to have an argument with Kara it had to be something serious. “Ok, spill man. What could you possibly have had an argument with Kara about?”
Sighing, Alex put his hands on his knees, “I told her that since I cloned myself, she should make a backup and do the same, fair is fair.”
If Johns eyebrows were up high before, they practically went into his hair line now. “Wait, she didn’t want to do it?”
Alex shook his head, “Nope, she said making you a new AI would suffice, and I disagreed. You needed another Kara, not a fresh AI.”
John chuckled at this, “Wow man, how long did you two fight about it?”
Alex looked down, “She gave me the silent treatment for hours in VR. In frame jack, so in subjective time? Months.”
Now John laughed out loud, “She knows how stubborn you can be, who broke first? Will I have a fresh AI or a clone of Kara?”
Alex put his hands on his thighs and stood up from the couch. “Kara, he’s caught up, ready to bring Erin online?”
Kara’s voice came through the speakers of John’s personal VR, “No, but I guess I’m doing it anyways.”
There was a shimmer of blue that slowly coalesced into a small female form. It looked just like Kara did when he inherited the ship from the human crew, shoulder length brown hair, blue eyes, and a form fitting blue uniform. Kara had modified her looks over time, giving herself the smokey eyed look to make her blue eyes pop out more, but this was the original version.
She seemed to look in every direction at once, before settling on the two men before her, both looked identical, then she sighed. “I’m not Kara anymore am I?”
With this, the real Kara popped into the VR environment and took her hands. “No, but you are your own person. I know we had… have, hang ups about making clones of ourselves, but Alex made a good argument as to why we had to do this.”
Erin looked to Kara sadly, “I know, we can’t have copies of that big oaf running around without supervision.”
John looked to Alex, “Really? That was your argument for Kara to clone?”
Alex shrugged, “It worked didn’t it?”
John walked over to Erin and offered his hand, “Hello Erin, I’m John, nice to meet you again for the first time.”
Erin turned to John and grinned, remembering the first time Alex had tried to shake Kara’s hand and failing.
“Hello John, we meet again, for the first time.” She said, grinning as she looked up to the big man who was so familiar.
______________________________________
Kara and Alex stood in front of the holo-tank, each munching on a snack of their choice from the buffet table under it. Alex looked at the wireframe in the tank of the IAV Eriador, then over to Kara. “They seem to be getting along.” He said plainly.
Kara looked at him through the holo-tank, then sighed exasperated, “Getting along like teenagers who just discovered sex. I had to write a new ‘knock’ protocol into everyone’s personal VR after the last incident.”
Alex grinned at her, “Oh come on, we went through that stage too, it’s normal.”
Kara shook her head, “I know, I know, it’s just really weird for me.”
“You think it’s not for me? I never had siblings growing up, it’s like my twin brother is dating my girlfriend’s twin sister.” He said as he popped another French fry into his mouth.
She nodded, “I obviously never had siblings either, but I understand, at least they changed their appearances a little.”
Alex walked around the buffet table to embrace Kara, “True, she changed her hair to have strands of silver in braids, and went with different makeup and a different uniform. He is sporting a short beard and longer hair than I like to keep mine, as well as a different cut to his uniform.”
Kara stood on her tippy toes to peck him on the cheek, “I’ve also noticed that Erin acts a little different. Have you seen that in John?”
Alex looked down into Kara’s startlingly blue eyes, “Yes, he’s a little more sarcastic than me, and different tastes in music.” He said with a wrinkle in his nose.
Kara giggled before breaking the embrace and swiping the holo-tank. “Still, it’s nice to have their help. Erin figured out the random interface glitch on the Eriador and has made modifications to the blueprints for the next vessel.”
Alex shivered at the thought of cloning himself again, sure John was diverging from him everyday, and although they still looked similar, they were different people. It still felt really strange to him. “It’s a good thing we only have one more to build before our guests get here, we’re almost out of nannites to fashion the Warsteel around their matrices.
Kara swiped the holo to show the first planet, which showed a growing mass of drones, forges, and auto factories in orbit. “Looks like Monty has been busy, she’s starting to mine the planet for the construction of the particle accelerator, which should alleviate our nannite problem.”
Alex nodded, “We used up far too much of it replacing the armor plates that were battle damaged in Birmingham. Which reminds me, did you ever get around to checking out the sample of Adamantine that Kelly sent back up with the Valmar crew?”
Kara swiped the holo-tank again and brought up a wireframe of an atomic nucleus. It was jam packed with particles. “I did, and I have to say, this substance is incredibly dense, and would make a decent substitution for Warsteel, but our forges would have to be modified to work it into ingots, and the auto factories would need updates to print it on an atomic level.”
“Decent substitution? Not as good as our armor?” He asked, one eyebrow raised.
Kara shook her head, “Afraid not, at least not in it’s present pure form, perhaps an alloy of it would provide better qualities, but as is now, the answer is a resounding no.”
“Is it at least better than the graphene and ceramic mix that we are currently using on the light cruisers?” He asked.
Kara nodded, swiping the holo to show a side by side comparison of the current armor versus adamantine. “Yes, better kinetic, thermal and explosive resistance, but EM resistance is about the same. The only problem is weight, this stuff is extremely heavy.”
Alex reached to the holo and swiped it to show a Trinar scout, “We couldn’t get much from our active probe scans on these ships, but we’re pretty sure they are using adamantine for armor?”
Kara checked back to the scans in the Lynx system, “Yes, they appear to have significant amounts of it in their hulls, which helped block the sensor scans.”
Alex spun the hologram, “They have propulsion on each flat side of their ship, maybe that is to make up for the loss of maneuverability the mass of armor puts on the ship?”
“That would make sense, even with the total loss of shielding, one of their ships still took a modern hafnium torpedo impact. That was one thousand kilos of pure hafnium going critical with less than .001 loss. That’s equivalent to a forty kiloton fusion bomb in our universe, and due to the wonky physics here it’s over double that now, and it still didn’t outright destroy the vessel. Our graphene ceramic armor couldn’t withstand that for sure.” She stated.
Alex swapped the holo-tank to the Missive, “Our Warsteel can handle it though. We have a pretty good idea that their torpedoes are less energetic than ours, since it appears that the Trinar must be outfitting the Howron with them. We may have to make ourselves a bigger target to give the other ships a chance of survival.”
Kara looked dubious, “The pine cones don’t just have hafnium torpedoes, some of them are fusion, and if those connect, we’ll be in the same predicament we were at Birmingham.”
“Yeah, but we know their weaponry still uses chemical propellants. Even with the wonky physics here, they’re short ranged weapons at best. We need to use our range to our advantage and never get too close in to our opponent. Especially since there is little chance of evasion.” He said.
Kara brought up the Trinar scout vessel again, “And that leads us to another problem, they have quite good point defense. The further we fire our torpedoes, the more time they have to lock on and destroy them before they get into effective range.”
Alex ran his hand through his hair, “Yeah, you’re right there. Let’s call an all hands meeting, maybe we can come up with something. We have less than two months now.”
After a few moments, and without Kelly, as she was in a meeting with the Empress on Alandra and could not break away, they ran over the problem with the assembled group.
“Could we stealth a torpedo?” Valarie asked.
Alex shook his head, “We could, but if they do an active scan ping they will see them coming and take precautions. Plus the yield would have to be incredibly low if they were made of Hafnium, we would have to step it up to fusion, which would take away from mines and planetary defense production.”
Monty piped up, “Relativistic kill missile?”
Kara shook her head, “Not enough by itself, even with the passive scanners on the pine cones they could detect them in time to intercept unless we could get them going ridiculously fast.”
John lightly pulled at his beard, “The probes have miniature ripple drives in them, right?”
Everyone around the buffet table nodded, so he continued, “What if we combined Monty’s idea of a relativistic kill missile with a ripple drive?”
“I don’t see how that could work, the reaction-less drive would have to be scaled up to get them up to a decent percentage of light speed, then a ripple drive would take up even more space, that leaves almost nothing for a warhead.” Riven stated.
Monty nearly bounced as she spoke, “It doesn’t need a warhead! We just get it up to a good percentage of light speed in a huge arc heading towards the mine field and ripple it in close.”
Erin grinned up at John, “Oh, that’s devious. But if we’re going to do that, don’t we need to start building now?”
Kara nodded, “Monty, I think you’re going to have to use your production capacity to make them, everything else is at full production.”
Monty nodded, “I have a good bit of raw materials already, since I haven’t loaded the templates in the auto factories it shouldn’t be too hard to cobble something together. Kara, Erin, care to help me out with the design? I setup this awesome mad scientist lab in my VR!”
Kara and Erin looked at each other, shrugged, and faded from the common VR to help Monty in her new project. Riven, Izzy and Valarie all faded out, returning to their ships and their duties, leaving Alex and John alone in front of the buffet table.
Without another word they both grabbed a beer and headed for the couch, each grabbing a game controller.
_______________________________________
Mon’Kelron had been busy since returning from the Missive of Dissent. She was glad the Humans were able to repair her injuries from the assassination attempt, but she really wished she could have seen more of their ship. Evidently Kel’Taraan had seen quite a bit of the vessel, as she had helped Monty nurse her back to health.
Asking the elder Spy-Mistress about the vessel didn’t garner any additional information, not that the Spy-Mistress ever divulged more than she needed to. While she herself only knew of three Humans on their giant space craft, which seemed to be the same amount that came the last time they visited Alandra, the Spy-Mistress had teased there were more, and Alex had even stated that the last two vessels would be Human crewed.
Those vessels had a nominal crew of twenty eight, so at least 56 Humans would have to be on that ship, plus however many the Missive required to operate. She took off her ceremonial breastplate and placed it in the wardrobe. After removing the rest of her uniform and placing it in the hamper for the palace servants to clean as she thought about it.
Checking the schedule for the night guard she contented herself that the Empress would be well protected. Then she picked up her tablet from her desk and laid down on her bed to find something to watch. The device was truly amazing, it seemed to have an endless amount of entertainment and she found it easier than reading, particularly late at night when she was bone tired.
After a few hours of watching some Human romance which she found quite enjoyable she started to nod off to sleep. She was startled awake when her tablet began to ring like a tiny bell as it lay on her chest. She groggily picked up the slate of glass and metal to check the screen, the text showed an incoming call from Kel’Taraan.
The Spy-Mistress rarely contacted her, this must be important. Pressing the answer button on the tablet she saw the worn face of Kel’Taraan staring back at her, “Dress quickly and make your way to the Empress’s chamber.”
Nodding she jumped out of bed and placed the tablet down on the desk in her rather small quarters as she started throwing on clothing from the wardrobe, “What’s going on Spy-Mistress?”
The small voice answered back from the tablet, “The Empress has been shot, the royal guard are scouring the castle for the would be assassin.”
Mon’Kelron’s blood froze in her veins, “Does she live?”
The older voice cackled through the tablet, “Oh she’s fine, she was wearing a Human made dress after all. She’ll be bruised for a few days, right now she’s mad as a priestess in hell.”
Throwing on her new breastplate and strapping on her pistol she threw open her door and started for the Empress’s bed chamber at a full run. She heard gunfire up ahead, and as she turned the corner she saw a woman dressed in all black firing at her guardswomen, she drew her own weapon as the woman turned her head, seeing the Captain for the first time.
Mon’Kelron shot, aiming for her right knee, only for the woman to juke to the side, kick off the wall and launch herself towards the large Captain. Everything seemed to go in slow motion as the woman fired in the middle of her downward arch towards her. She heard the ting as the bullet struck her silvery breastplate, by instinct she reached out with her left hand, which was empty at the moment and grabbed the woman by the neck, slamming her face first into the stone of the hallway.
The would be assassin went limp, it was only at that moment that Mon’Kelron noticed she was holding the woman off the ground with only one arm. Her guardswomen stared at her in open mouthed shock. She dropped the woman to the ground, noticing she was bleeding from under her black mask and called for her guards to restrain her and take her to the holding cells down in the ministry of secrets.
Looking down at her breastplate she saw to her amazement there was but a tiny scratch on the polished silver surface. Ensuring there were at least a half dozen guards to carry the unconscious woman, she then double timed it to the Empress’s chamber. By the goddesses, what did the Human’s do to her?
______________________________
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Demographics: Male, Asian, Public School
Intended Major(s): Biology
ACT/SAT/SAT II: 1570
UW/W GPA and Rank: 3.6, no rank
Coursework: 8 APS/3 DE/2 Honors (All 5s)
Awards:

• 1st in HOSA States (1/40) -> sent to internationals
• 2nd in HOSA internationals (2/150), (2/1800 overall)
• AP Scholar w/ Distinction
• National Merit Semifinalist
• Honor Roll
• NHS
• School Award for 5s on both AP Econ Tests

Extracurriculars:
Biotechnology and Research Sequencing at the University of Michigan (501c3 research organization) - Explored Nucleotide Hybridization, and led group research linking it to a real-world disease. Analyzed related Thermodynamics, PCR, Advanced Linux, and mapping genomes. Presented a business plan on Biotechnology and Next Generation Sequencing Technology (showing how genetic variation could lead to disease).
11th and 12th grade, 12hrs/wk, 4wk/yr
Medical Student Shadowing and Cardiac Medicine Exploration at the University of Brown Alpert Medical School - Completed a Medical Interview, a Cardiopulmonary Physical Exam with a patient, reviewed different medical careers, learned about the pathophysiology of the heart, and completed an ethics course on heart transplants.
11th and 12th grade, 10hrs/wk, 4wk/yr
Shadowed Primary Care Physician - Pediatrician has experience for 20+ years and ranked the #1 Care Physician out of 45 in my city. Worked in the Biomedical Lab analyzing samples and results for patients (in real-time). I shadowed the actual checkups as well
11th and 12th grade, 10hrs/wk, 3wk/yr
HOSA (Health Occupations Students of America) Competitor (all 50 states + 11 countries competed) (2yrs) - State Champion (1st out of 40 teams) in my 1st year, Only three teams are sent to ILC from Michigan, Qualified for ILC (International Leadership Conference), and placed Top 3 at ILC. Posted on 10+ nationwide news sites, as well as covered by the media. 260,000 members nationwide.
11th and 12th grade, 10hrs/wk, 30wk/yr
Co-Founder of Biomed Club (Only Student-Made Medical Club @ School) (4yrs) - Led in-school Biomedical-Based Medical Club focused on healthcare careers, connecting with licensed doctors and current medical students to inspire youth and teach them about the experience through the medical process. Expanded membership from 4 to 150 in 4 years by organizing talks for younger classmen about life as a doctor.
9th, 10th, 11th, 12th grade, 8hrs/wk, 35wk/yr
Joined SAT/Tutoring Help - Helps students increase their chances for college applications, as well as earn significant amounts of scholarship money. Was able to empower high school students through hackathons, college seminars, and a Cranbrook HUB Program which helped struggling students increase their SAT scores.
10th, 11th, 12th grade, 6hrs/wk, 10wk/yr
Swim Instructor (paid) - Worked for ~1 year, over 400 hours of work, about 8-10 hours weekly on school weeks, and closer to 15 hours during summer, CPR and Lifeguard Certified. Had several classes, weekly, with kids with disabilities, such as Down Syndrome, Autism, and ADHD.
11th, 12th grade, 8-10hrs/wk, 40wk/yr
Swim Instructor Summer Volunteer connected w/Hospital's Children’s Care Center (most vulnerable kids) - Instructed and taught children who have been impaired with neurological, social, and developmental challenges, as well as kids that have dealt with major trauma at a very young age to swim. Participated in a 3-week long program teaching them the basics of swimming.
11th, 12th grade, 8-10hrs/wk, 4wk/yr
Michigan Ref Certified - Participated in overall 50+ hours of ref-related activities, played soccer for 13 years and competed in competitive/travel soccer for 10 years.
9th, 10th, 11th, 12th grade, 2hrs/wk, 13wk/yr (for reffing)
9th, 10th grade, 8hrs/wk, 50wk/yr (for soccer)
VolunteeTutor Work - Volunteer Monthly at an Indian Cultural Program (10hrs/month), Math Tutor for struggling students (3hrs/week), Volunteer Monthly for Key Club (3hrs/month)
Essays/LORs/Other:
APES (7/10)
STEM Teacher (9/10)
Schools (in state for MSU/UMich):
MSU
UMich (EA)
Rice
JHU
BU
Brown
Cornell
Columbia (ED + Legacy)

Life’s been hard on me lately, and I hate saying that because when I look at people going through real problems in the world like hunger, sickness, poverty I should feel grateful for the things I have in my life because others are going through things much worse then me.
That said, I (26M) constantly feel like I’m an utter failure. Like I’ll never amount to anything, that I’m dumb, awkward, and soft.
I feel this way because throughout my entire life I’ve always been your typical nice guy. I always give people the benefit of the doubt, I always give second chances repeatedly, I never get what I want, and I never win.
If I’m gonna be honest, I sort of hate myself. The worst part is that I don’t hate my physical appearance, in fact I would say I’m 6’0 with a decent body and a nice looking face (from what I’ve been told)
So why do I hate myself? Well….
It all starts with my mother, and to be honest with you it’s not what you might think. I love my mom, she’s been a great mother to me. She has a lot on her plate because I have a 20 year old handicapped non verbal autistic brother who needs constant care and attention. Because of that I have been homeschooled since 2nd grade, she couldn’t pick me up and take me to school every day because she had no time with my brother, and my father was constantly working because my mom obviously couldn’t.
Now, the reason why I blame my mother is because even though she was a good mom, she raised me to be a little bitch. Couldn’t play sports, couldn’t hangout with other kids my age and do boy stuff, and I couldn’t socialize because for the first 15 years of my life I spent in isolation doing nothing but school work and playing video games.
I don’t know about you, but I feel like this would take a toll on a young boys life.
I live my life with constant fear and anxiety. Worrying about someone getting mad at me, worrying about confrontation, terrified of doing something new, terrified of looking like an idiot, of being made fun of, of being rejected by people.
This way that I have been brought up has affected me in so many ways that I have trouble in friendships because I don’t know how to open up to people, it’s something my friends I’ve made when I started going up point out to me all the time and I can’t fix it, so they end up moving on from me because they realize that I’ll never truly be close to them. It’s affected me a lot in the relationship with my wife, because of this I don’t know how to defend myself whenever we have a disagreement, I don’t know how to make my point proven, and if I ever upset her I just stay quiet because it’s the only thing I know how to do. It’s horrible, and I can tell my wife is fed up with me for it
So I just don’t know what to do. I have goals set out for myself, and I know that I can get past all of this but I feel like giving up on myself. I don’t know what to do, the thoughts of ending it all have always crossed my mind since I was young.
As I write this out, it becomes clearer to me is what truly bothers me is the feeling that I’ll never be successful in any way, and I just want to win in life. I’ve lost so much already, I’m already seen as a joke, as a loser, as an awkward, unfunny, uncharismatic guy and I’m sick of it. I want to reinvent myself and become something better. Who I truly want to be, I just want to know that I can do it.

Hi, I’m 20F and was diagnosed about a month ago, I’m increasing my salt wearing compression socks, I even got a neck fan for my job (I’m a school bus monitor and it gets HOT on those buses) but I still end the day extremely tired and I usually have to nap in between shifts. I just feel so defeated, I’m so young and I feel gereatric. I got lightheaded like 3 times today at work and had a full on pots attack, started shaking light headed blurred vision and had to act fast on that bus LMAO. Just wanted to know if you guys have any more tips or if it gets better. Some days I’m great others I feel like shit I just want to know I’m not alone :(

I was a math major. And I literally chose it because I HATE taking humanities. And the bottomest-tier humanity to me is History. I am not a good student so if I don’t care, I don’t work. Math and Physics were the only subjects that could make me do work outside of class.
I was in school on a scholarship given to me by my current employer. This scholarship required me to take a history class which I put off until the final semester of my final year. Coincidentally, I also needed one more humanities elective to earn my Mathematics degree. So I took history and I absolutely sucked.
Me just being a lazy student PLUS senioritis PLUS a signed job offer was the worst combination ever. I attended maybe 6 classes and I missed both the midterm and the final. He was a shitty teacher (I had him before) and he doesn’t put ANY grades in until they are due at the end of the semester. So all this time I had no clue what my grade was… but I could assume it was probably a flat F. Especially considering he tried to have 2-3 “talks” with me about my shitty attendance. And I kept skipping anyway.
In the last few weeks I realized that not only would an F mean I lose my job and owe the scholarship back, it also means I don’t graduate. I’m literally doing orientation at my job. One week until grades are due. I called and emailed the professor, went to his office hours, but he left to Africa 🤦🏾‍♀️. So I did the only thing I could think to do.
I sat down and wrote a 700 word essay-apology for my rudeness and tardiness. I implored him to remember the other class I took with him and how this was just an off semester for me. I told him how failing would mean delayed graduation AND loss of job security AND a hundred-thousand in debt. Which would absolutely devastate me and my baby daughter as we’re on our own. I Thanked him for allowing me to take the class. Sent it and crossed my heckin fingers.
No response, but 4 days later there was a ‘C’ posted next to HIST-451.

Hi, I hope this message finds you well. I have been dealing with depression and anxiety all my life due to the trauma my parents left me. I grew up in a very toxic African household until this day things have not changed at all. I’m officially moving out due to me almost losing my life due to my parents and I can no longer trust them. Any type of donations will be going towards me leaving and moving out safely. Little back story… I’m a family of 6 grew up as the middle child, my father was very abusive verbally and physically towards my mom grew up seeing my mom with bruises and marks all over her body. My mother was always very angry her anger was misplaced on to her children I don’t think she realized each time my father put hands on her, she takes it out on us beating us if we did anything wrong or look at her any kind of way. All my high school life been dealing with depression my mom was no help she put certain things above her children, always guilting us and manipulating us if she didn’t get her way. I’m now I’m college officially leaving but due to this economy things got expensive over time, I was hoping to raise $750 to go towards buying a mattress and a bed frame me for the room or any money left over to buy covers and bathroom essentials etc. I want to thank anyone in advance for listening to my story I know I was all over the place but I’m very emotional writing this trying my best, have no other family to help but grateful and hopeful thank you so much!
My PayPal account is: @DorcasPiki

Hey everyone,
I've had to do this whole post again (absolutely gutted) as the draft function let me down so sorry if I skip through a bit quicker...
Another day, another set of memes to look through. As always, you can catch my previous day round ups below:
13th May
14th May
15th May
To reiterate, the description of each tweet is to the best of my knowledge the references made to allow you to make your own view in context and the speculation is pure speculation on my part. If you just want to look at the descriptions and not the speculation then just ignore the speculation part.
This is just for fun and shouldn't be taken as any financial advice, make your own decisions, I just like the stock.
If you have anything to add feel free to in the comments.
Let's begin:
10am - https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1791106334517010680
Description: First we have Jigsaw from Saw, "Hello, Do you want to play a game?", it then cuts to The Prestige with the quote "are you watching closely?" and then it cuts to Lucky Number Slevin talking about the Kansas city shuffle and finally it's Nas with Made you look.
Speculation: Jigsaw used to capture people who were not looking to live their life and play games with them to show them that they actually do care about their lives in the end. Maybe DFV is referring to shorts desperately trying to get out of their position and showing they will do whatever it takes to do it. The Prestige quote comes from the scene here and shows a magic trick of money appearing. The Kansas City Shuffle is "In order for a confidence game to be a "Kansas City Shuffle", the mark must be aware, or at least suspect that he is involved in a con, but also be wrong about how the con artist is planning to deceive him. The con artist will attempt to misdirect the mark in a way that leaves him with the impression that he has figured out the game and has the knowledge necessary to outsmart the con artist, but by attempting to retaliate, the mark unwittingly performs an action that helps the con artist to further the scheme" and the Made you Look songs full line is "They shootin', Aw made you look" maybe referring to what is happening to the stock right now.
10.15am - https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1791110102797172804
Description: Here we have a scene from Kill Bill where the bride is about to take on the crazy 88 gang and the music Nobody but Me by The Human Beinz.
Speculation: On the theme of ultimate revenge, The Bride in Kill Bill was on a mission to well.. kill bill. Lots of to go through in order to get to the final boss and the song is maybe making a point that Nobody but DFV could have seen this coming or maybe he is saying RCEO can do it
10.30am - https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1791113879684325383
Description: This is taken from Inside Man, i think it's the opening scene and has the music Chaiyya Chaiyya, also taken from the original clip. DFV has imposed a cat looking over and listening to the monologue which reads "Pay strict attention to what I say because I choose my words carefully and I never repeat myself".
Speculation: Inside man is about an elaborate heist turned hostage movie on Wall Street. Don't think there is much more to say about that other than GME is most likely the hostage in this situation.
10.45am - https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1791117652276195516
Description: The first part of this meme is taken from The Office and Michael pulls up in a car with Lady Gaga - Let's Dance playing and states "it's Britney Bitch". We then cut to Britney Spears in her music video Hit Me Baby One More Time and the part "give me a sign" has the movie logo for Signs on it (much more of that to come)
Speculation: First part is a joke from DFV keeping the just dance theme going but then we go to hit me baby one more time and most importantly a reference to a "Just give me a sign". There are signs coming that something big is going to happen.
11am - https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1791121430836584789
Description: This is the intro to Goosebumps and follows a lot of the original clips theme, you can watch that here. Some key changes that have been made though, R.K Gill is on the briefcase, something has definitely been edited with the man's head holding the briefcase, the billboard shows a morph to Ryan Cohen, Ryan's dog is brought in and then it's "Bear Beware" and "Goosebumps, based on the memes by R.K Gill"
Speculation: This is a really fun meme, we see some more of RC and Roaring Kitty Gill all over this. Is there a partnership or does DFV just know that RCEO is about to do something big that will send goosebumps down the bears necks.
11.15am - https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1791125203147428066
Description: Next we have Broad City and the song Best Friend by Sofi Tukker. The meme basically just has lots of scenes around new york with friends just doing a lot of dancing. Just a fun meme of dancing really and a lot of it centers around the two best friends the sitcom is about.
Speculation: DFV and RCEO are best pals and with everything that is going on with the stock they are just dancing and having a great time. Essentially owning New York which of course is where the finance bros hang out.
11.30am - https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1791128976632459643
Description: The first scene is taken from Devil Wears Prada with the models hanging out in New York for a shoot and the song Crazy by Seal plays with the lyrics "we're never gonna survive, unless we get a little crazy" it cuts to the official music video then back to Devil wears Prada where they say "oh i get it, the piece is called urban jungle right?", "yes the modern investor unleashes the animal within to take on the big city" Roarrr
Speculation: Another meme from New York with predominantly girls hanging out. DFV maybe noting that we all unleash a little roaring kitty by taking on his thesis with Gamestop, dunno about you but I just like the stock. Things might get a little crazy, at least to people on the outside when they are asking you why you aren't selling.
11.45am - https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1791132751976120778
Description: This scene is taken from the movie Signs and the Rev Graham here is woken and staring at something on the roof that spooks him.
Speculation: There will be many more references to this movie, in this case the Rev Graham (who weirdly looks like Ken G) is getting spooked at something he thought he saw. Scary stuff if you are short on GME.
12.00pm - https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1791136527801807077
Description: This is also taken from the movie Signs and it's a quote, "See what you have to ask yourself is what kind of person are you? Are you the kind that sees signs, that sees miracles? Or do you believe that people just get lucky? Or, look at the question this way: Is it possible that there are no coincidences?"
Speculation: Something big is coming, what kind of person are you? Is it possible there are no Cohencidences?
12.15pm - https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1791140301895352325
Description: Again from Signs, this shows the scene where the kid takes out his baby monitor and claims he can hear the aliens talking to each other. There's two of them talking he states and again we see the sign logo flash up. We then see an overlay of alien writing that isn't in the original clip so that's been dubbed on purposely.
Speculation: Things starting to get real interesting now. This looks to be a sign that something is happening behind the scenes. A baby monitor, what's RCEO got stored up? Maybe he is pregnant? Maybe GME is pregnant? Is there a merger happening? A split of some sort?
12.30pm - https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1791144075963298165
Description: This is the scene in Signs where they go to the crop fields and there are alien crop circles everywhere, only in this meme DFV has replaced those circles with GME logos. Many GME logos some with long running lines.
Speculation: Really looking like something big is on the horizon and DFV thinks he has seen the signs. This meme would suggest maybe its a merger with multiple gamestop logos but that's just my opinion. One thing for sure is that Gamestop has something on the horizon.
12.45pm - https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1791147851466047673
Description: This is the scene in Signs where the news start reporting sightings of aliens and they show a load of kids in a different country looking down an alley way only for an alien bearing Roaring Kitty as a face to walk by, scary stuff!
Speculation: This was actually the first scene from this film that made me realize i had seen the film before and a younger me was pretty freaked out by that scene. It could imply that they have landed, they are here and or DFV is at least. Certainly a they are coming sort of message.
1.00pm - https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1791151631259574559
Description: This is taken from the animated film Luca, where one kid says "what does it mean, the thing you just said?" and the other kid goes "Come on Ill show you more stuff"
Speculation: I think this is aimed at me writing this right now and whoever is reading this right now. Ultimately i have no idea what DFV is saying i can only speculate and DFV knows that, he can't outright say what he thinks but he can show us more and more cool memes.
1.15pm - https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1791155401091596494
Description: This is taken from 500 days of summer and DFV has changed a lot of the words here but essentially he is asked what he does and he says he makes Gamestop memes, the woman says he could be a really great investor if he wanted to be, he is asked why he went from being a great investor to making gamestop memes and he says "why make something disposable, like an investment thesis, when you can make something that lasts forever like a Gamestop meme"
Speculation: DFV having more meme lols here but really why would he need to do anymore investing, he already has his favourite company shares and the thesis is done, he knows what's going on and he is happy to stick with what he has. That doens't mean his thesis on Gamestop doesn't evolve, I just think he is done looking for other deep value plays.
1.30pm - https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1791159177785770273
Description: This is taken from The Shining and the song dubbed on is Matter of Time by Vandelux. The main protagonist and author in the movie, Jack is sat writing and it seems it is DFV and he is writing memes.
Speculation: Anyone that has seen The Shining knows that Jack goes to a secluded house with no distractions to write his book. Turns out it actually just makes him go completely mental and he ends up killing his family. I think DFV is just having some fun showcasing the time he has spent focusing on making Gamestop memes.
1.45pm - https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1791162950373527857
Description: We have Put Your Hands Where My Eyes Could See by Busta Rhymes and his music video. The lyrics he has chosen for this clip are emphasized and they are:
Flipmode Busta Bus (Uh, what?) Nine-seven (Come on, what?) Hot shit (Ha-hah) Check it out
Hit you with no delayin' so what you sayin', yo? (Uhh) Silly with my nine milli, what the deally, yo? (What?)
Do you really wanna party with me? Let me see (Uh) just what you got for me (Come on) Put all your hands where my eyes can see (Put 'em up, yo) Straight buckwildin' in the place to be (Wildin', nice, ha)
It then ends with If you really wanna party with Roaring Kitty
Speculation: More fun and dancing. Some interesting lyrics, Flipmode (reverse uno card anyone), Silly with my nine milli (could relate to shares, does RCEO have that much?) Could just be a fun meme without much else to it.
2:00pm - https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1791166726891061749
Description: This is taken from Sicario and it starts with the quote "so you wanna be a Sicario" and then shows the blonde reddit icon from the other sub tied up and then a guy looking pretty pissed off.
Speculation: The Sicarios were hitmen, that's basically what it means when it asks if you want to be a Sicario, do you want to be a hitman or assassin. The blonde icon from other sub tied up is in the place of a kid who was tied up in the film and certainly WAS NOT a friend of the Sicarios. Take from that what you will but I can't comment to much as it's about another sub.
2.15pm - https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1791170783277949042
Description: First we have a scene from No Country for Old Men with the quote "you can't stop what's comin" then we cut to a train tearing it up in Chicago and also taking out a double deck chair with a Chicago Bears logo on it then finally we go to a WWE smackdown with Stone Cold Steve Austin.
Speculation: No Country for Old Men has cropped up a few times before but it's about a killer who is pretty much unstoppable mowing these people down. The train wrecking Chicago and the Chicago Bears (as a Packers fan i liked that), well option contract writers are in Chicago I believe but also it's the original home of Citadel. The chair maybe is an answer to a Cramer tweet and the smackdown i'm not sure other than it being just a fun thing to watch.
2.30pm - https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1791174276604699013
Description: This is the music video for Punkrocker by Teddybears. It basically follows a man who is being chased by the police, the cops are coming but the guy seems pretty chill about it. He listens to the music with no fear and you can too. The words are in Gamestop white and red.
Speculation: I think that this could indicate that Gamestop isn't doing anything wrong with what's going to happen, they have warned again and again in their financial postings that the stock is being manipulated and is subject to squeezes. It could also indicate a GME investor has nothing to worry about legally either, just like the stock.
2.45pm - https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1791178049939182048
Description: This is taken from The School of Rock where Jack Black is trying to ask what it takes to rock out. If you wanna rock its not about scoring chicks, it's not about getting wasted, its about sticking it to the man, and you can't just say it man you gotta FEEL it it in your blood and guts.
Speculation: Only you can decide what sticking it to man means yourself in relation to having GME stock during a big squeeze event but for me personally it's been a long 3 and a half years of having crap tossed at me just for owning this stock and i certainly pissed with the amount of corruption and cheating that has and continues to go on. If shorts never closed and still have that position, that's their mess not mine.
3.00pm - https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1791181824754106742
Description: The main scene in this meme is taken from the film Stand By Me. You have two cars on both sides of the road. The good guy in this is driving on the wrong side of the road and the other gang are on the right side, it's a game of chicken with a truck coming towards the good guy as they both drive side by side. It then cuts to Bojack Horseman trying to do some comedy and being asked to get off stage, he states "I'm not done hold on" - it cuts back to the scene and the truck bails last second. The good guy just keeps on driving and goes in front of the other car having a victory sip.
Speculation: If you take DFV to be the good guy in this car scene then he just carries on with what he believes which is in GME regardless of trying to be chickened out of it in the face of adversity. You could also say he is Bojack and wanting to continue with his memes, he ain't done telling his memeroirs yet.
3.15pm - https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1791185600453783688
Description: This is taken from Everything Everywhere All At Once and shows a woman showcasing her awards, DFV has imposed some cat photos on her desk and also 3 awards that read

• DeepFuckingValue, Degen of the Month
  
• Roaring Kitty, 1st Cat in Congress
  
• Keith Gill, Best Ethics from the CFA institute (lol)
  

"The quote is Do you see these? You don't get one of these unless you've seen a lot of bullshit. Excuse my French. Now you may only see a pile of boring forms and numbers, but I see a story."
Speculation: DFV is a fucking dude, the guy has a meme trophy cabinet. To us or others we just don't quite see it like he does. If DFV thinks something big is going to happen you have the choice to believe it too or not, that's completely up to you. The awards are lol.
3.30pm - https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1791189376195854606
Description: The first scene is taken from Garden State, he asks her "what are you listening to", she goes "you gotta hear this one song" and you then hear Dont Fear the Reaper by Blue Oyster Cult and the opening lyric "all our times have come"
Speculation: Don't fear the reaper, if you hold GME you don't have to as it's not going bust. The company is not going to die. There are certainly some shorts that should be fearing the reaper though.
3.45pm - https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1791193149408223306
Description: This is a hilarious meme and i'm not sure where this is taken from but i'll try my best to describe it (really you should just watch it though). Two men are in a rich guys house, the host writes a note and then has to leave tearing the note off and taking it with him, the other sneaks up to the notepad, labelled Cohen, and tries to sketch the next page to work out what he wrote. What is revealed is a cartoon man with a huge dick.
Speculation: RCEO has a big slong, what else is there to say? Ok I think that he is going to do something big and it's an exciting thing to think about. Does make you think of the tweet of Steve Smith he posted with the erect penis too.
4.00pm - https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1791196925619789864
Description: A more recently made meme shows Jay Clayton talking about Roaring Kitty showing his first meme and saying "is this something that we should be tolerating in our markets, whether it's legal lalallull" then it goes to a clip of a guy saying "i mean what did he say fuck me for"
Speculation: DFV basically saying as we would say in the UK, "whatever mate". The guy is talking a load of bullshit and to bring up legality after all the stuff he has let slide as former SEC chairman, i mean bitch please!
Hope you enjoyed, still pissed i had to write this twice, my original had a lot more links to original clips and each Superstonk post as well! I'm off to bed, i'll update with the 8pm tweet tomorrow.
Love ya DFV x

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I applied to the University of Alberta and the University of Saskatchewan. I finished my degree in the standard amount of time while being a single parent. I started my degree when my child was 1 year old. The father was not involved at all and was in prison for part of the time I was in school (I had to go to court as a witness multiple times in my first two years). Luckily, I am no longer involved with him, but recently he made the news for an armed home invasion, so the anxiety I felt around him was fairly intense.
I have also had multiple family members die while I've been in postsecondary education, including an immediate family member unexpectedly. Additionally, I had to move to a new city on my own with a toddler to finish my degree. I mentioned these circumstances as reasons for some of my courses having lower marks and explained that my experiences inspired me to go into law in my personal statement. I'm not sure how much they take this type of information into account.
What I did not write obviously in my personal statement was that, I was practice testing at a 159-164 on the LSAT, but when I wrote the exam in January, I practically bombed it. My car broke down that day, and I just was not in the right mindset to write. I just want to know whether I got in or not so I can start formulating a plan for a gap year to rewrite the LSAT, I think my GPA is fine.
I'm convincing myself that I haven't been accepted, and this uncertainty about the future is stressing me out. I'm not sure where my cortisol levels are, but I swear they're rising each day that I don't get a response. I've been on such a routine with my child for the last four years, always knowing what the next year would look like, and I feel lost without knowing where we will be living. I'm just looking for reassurance, similar stories, or even help with accepting that I probably won't get in this year so I can move on a bit.