Well, to start I was given up at birth in a closed adoption. My adoptive parents took care of me for the last 19 years and they were pretty rough years. They didn't have the toolkit to take care of someone with ADHD and ASD and I would quickly develop OSDD and C-ptsd to go with it. They put me in a situation where I was molested in second grade (not sure if it was knowingly) and were abusive or neglectful at times. There were good times too but like, the bad stuff sucked. It's hard for me not to blame them for it all, even though they didn’t have control of many of the worst situations. To top it off, a while after I turned 18 and got my papers I came out as trans and started dating another trans woman. They have been hateful, mean and vulgar ever since.
About 2 weeks ago i found my bio fam and connected with my bio sister and I'm planning to meet her in another 2 at pride. We've talked a lot and are scarily similar. I'm talking sane ascetic, same style, same interests, same field and same book interests. I made a witcher joke and we both started singing toss a coin to your witcher without a thought to it. Like that's how CRAZY similar we are. I haven't decided what I want to do about my bio mum and such but maybe eventually if she's as cool as my sister says she is.
My adoptive parents have started acting REALLY WEIRD. LIKE REALLY WEIRD. They've made comments and acted all hostile about the idea of me talking to my bio mum and been very weird when I talk about my sister and refer to her by a nickname my other siblings use for her or as my sister. I think and my partner agrees that they probably are scared I'm going to replace them and honestly... these people accept me, have similar taste and seem to have come a long way from the single mom running from domestic violence that gave me up... so it's not like an un valid fear. Wtf do I do?

Character Creation:

PC
Reddit Account: AnotherBabyEchidna
Discord Tag: thebrundun
Name and House: Willem Ryger
Age: 45
Cultural Group: RiverlandeValemen
Appearance: Willem Ryger always seems to have a coy smile about him, accentuated by his strong jawline and sharp cheekbones. His curly light brown hair has begun to thin, though his pronounced brows remain strong. Standing around six feet tall, his posture always exudes confidence, and his near-yellow brown eyes always seem to be hiding a secret or a joke.
Trait: Mastermind
Skill(s): Assassin (e), Covert (e), Devious
Talent(s): Philosophising, Carousing, Gambling
Negative Trait(s): n/a
Starting Title(s): Lord of Willow Wood, Ser
Starting Location: King’s Landing
Alternate Characters: n/a

Bio-Timeline:

• 20 BC: Willem is born into the cursed bloodline of House Ryger to Willow and Ryman Ryger. House Ryger has long kept their curse a secret to the outside world. As the story goes, at the birth of every Ryger there is a new weeping willow sprouted in their willow forests and the health of the weeping willow is said to be directly tied to the health of the Ryger.
• 18 BC: Willem’s brother, Marq, is born.
• 10 BC: Willem is sent to ward under Vance of Wayfarer’s Rest at the behest of his grandfather Lord Leo Ryger who detests the idea of his disappointment of a son raising the eventual heir of Willow Wood.
• 8 BC: Willem makes quick friends with Beck Bracken, also warding at Wayfarer’s rest, though he takes a special liking to his sister, Perra, and a childhood crush forms.
• 2 BC: Willem is knighted but the event is overshadowed by the capitulation of the Vances to Aegon the Conqueror. He returns home to Willow Wood where his grandfather informs him of the family curse and in order to avoid the curse he is sent to The Eyrie to join their court, quickly earning their trust and his outsider perspective and connections are used in the capacity of Master of the Thresholds. Also during this time his first son, a bastard named Rickard, is revealed to him. Despite the child being of common birth and mute, Willem takes him in to raise him as his own, though much of the raising is done by his servants.
• 1 BC: Funnily enough, similar to how Willem was present when King Aegon landed at Wayfarer’s Rest, Queen Visenya lands at The Eyrie, and Willem is one of the few advisors to Sharra to counsel bending the knee.
• 1 AC: Willem Ryger weds Lynese Hightower, though his true love is still Perra Bracken yet he spares her his family curse by not wedding her. Later in the year his first trueborn daughter is born and named Roslyn. Additionally, his nephew, Robyn, is born, and the pair of Robyn and Roslyn are inseparable.
• 2 AC: Willem and Lynese have another child and name her Mya.
• 5 AC: Willem and Lynese have their last child together, naming their son Myles, though the curse claims Lynese’s life shortly after his birth. After her death, his life of debauchery begins and he begins his yearly parties for the elite of Westeros. Another nephew, Addam, is also born, though Willem does not celebrate the addition to their family with his brother.
• 7 AC: Willem involves himself in the Tully plot against King Aegon, though his ties to the Vale arouse suspicion and he is barred from much of the decision making. Due to this untrust, he informs Lord Blackwood of the plot who takes on much of the burden of revealing the plot to Queen Visenya. Due to Willem’s close ties to the Vale and his lord grandfather’s acceptance, House Ryger swears fealty to House Arryn directly. During this time, the stress pushes Willem into the arms of his childhood crush, Perra Bracken, despite his continued refusal to wed her. Unbeknownst to him a child is spawned from this affair.
• 8 AC: Willem becomes a personal confidant and source of comfort to the grieving Queen Rhaenys. The intimacy of their relationship is kept a closely guarded secret, especially their bedding which results in another child unbeknownst to him. His duties to the Vale require a large distance to be maintained between them, forbidding any true relationship from developing.
• 10 AC: Willem is present for Sharra Arryn’s death yet at the same time his own father, Ryman Ryger, dies. Rather than return home, Willem persists in The Eyrie during the trying time for House Arryn. As Ronnel Arryn comes of age, Willem is retained as Master of the Thresholds.
• 11 AC: Willem’s grandfather, Lord Leo Ryger, dies soon after, as if he only lived out of spite to not see Ryman inherit Willow Wood. His death occurs after a visit to The Eyrie, the second time of visiting with the first being the oath to House Arryn, where Leo further informs Willem of their curse. Were a Ryger to stand quiet enough in the weeping willing forests of their home, he could hear their ancestors. Lastly, it is revealed that despite Leo’s attempts to shield Willem from the curse, a rot has set into Willem’s willow. Due to this, Willem accepts the counsel that his brother Marq take on much of the responsibility of ruling Willow Wood.
• 12 AC: Willem’s eldest daughter, Roslyn, is informed of everything that his grandfather has informed him of. He decides to keep Roslyn close and begin to teach her much of his subterfuge and sets her up to inherit many of his connections should he pass.
• 13 AC: Willem’s daughter, Mya, is sent to ‘squire’ for the Cavaliers upon their creation.
• 15 AC: Willem’s son, Myles, is sent to squire for the legendary knight Lord Corbray, though the boy is difficult to train mostly due to his protest of being sent away from his family.
• 18 AC: Willem’s bastard son, Rickard, is finally knighted and immediately following his ceremony he takes off to find where his commoner mother was sent off to. Unfortunately, the Riverwar breaks out during his travels and he finds himself on either side of the war depending on which side of the battle he happens to need to be on to continue his search for his mother.
• 19 AC: Willem is present for the wedding of Queen Visenya and Lord Lyn Egen and does his best to aid in the planning of the festivities.
• 20 AC: Willem’s brother, Marq, declares himself Regent of Willow Wood. While having been the de facto regent, the declaration comes under contention from Willem. To resolve the dispute, Roslyn is made Steward of Willow Wood and acts as eyes and ears for Willem. Her loyalties are in contention, unbeknownst to Willem, as Roslyn and her cousin Robyn further their relationship into intimacy.
• 22 AC: Willem’s bastard son, Rickard, returns from his travels. Being mute, his ability to convey his travels is limited, but the corpse he returns with bears the resemblance of the woman Willem bedded long ago. They put her body to rest in the weeping willow forests and Rickard forever swears his service to his father.
• 23 AC: Willem’s trueborn son, Myles, returns to Willem now a knight. He is given the truth of the family curse and his mental state further spirals, with his long protest of being sent away now given a proper justification. Willem brings the entire family to the forests to find each of their weeping willows, where Myles finds the rot of his father to have spread to his tree nonetheless. He vows to make his death worthwhile, though Willem cautions that despite his own tree having rot, he has yet to perish.
• 25 AC: Willem leads the entirety of House Ryger to the festivities in King’s Landing.

Family Tree:

https://www.familyecho.com/?p=START&c=3f566chlk4whp1yg&f=600232199387350859

Supporting Characters:

AC
Name and House: Roslyn Ryger
Age: 24
Cultural Group: RiverlandeValewoman
Appearance: Roslyn’s dark, straight hair and pale skin stand in sharp contrast to her father. Her amber eyes are inherited directly from him, however, as was her smile that often appears devious to some and endearing to others. Constantly lost in thought, she takes an unassuming posture, preferring to only display confidence when she feels she is in the right.
Trait: Insidious
Skill(s): Espionage (e), Investigator
Talent(s): Singing, Hunting, Gambling
Negative Trait(s): n/a
Starting Title(s): Steward of Willow Wood
Starting Location: King’s Landing
Alternate Characters: n/a
 
Archetypes/Notable Characters:

• Mya Ryger - Daughter of Willem; the resemblance is uncanny upon realizing that Roslyn inherited Willem’s cunning while Mya inherited charm. Aged 23. Tourney Knight archetype.
• Myles Ryger - Son of Willem and heir to Willow Wood; of whom has lost the luster of life in his eyes with an uneasy calm demeanor always present. Aged 20. Cutthroat archetype.
• Rickard Rivers - Bastard son of Willem; a mute who has devoted his life to a love of killing under the guise of being a knight. Aged 27.
• Marq Ryger - Brother to Willem; rather than enacting his cunning through subterfuge, he has instead proven his ability as a cunning commander with a true love of tactics. Aged 43.
• Robyn Ryger - Nephew to Willem; a man of true brilliance and joy for learning who has devoted his time to the art of revenue generation. Aged 24.
• Addam Ryger - Nephew to Willem; a kind-hearted simpleton that has been focused on the simplicity of combat. Aged 20.
• Septon-Maester Stephus - A long-time advisor to Willem; likely neither septon nor a maester, but his wisdom is vast, if often crude. Aged 68.

I'm going in for my toxin test on Monday but idk how long it will take to get my vancomycin prescription after that, so I'm considering getting a jump start on Florastor. Maybe it could even help, I'm not sure.

I have a part-time job at a local university cutting up big 1-2hr presentations into smaller chunks for people to consume online after they've been given. The position was essentially created for me to try and get some experience (my wife works at the university, so that's how I got the connection). Because of this, most of the decision-making when it comes down to edits is up to me. There was some questions I had to ask here and there in the beginning, but now that I know what they want to keep and what they are fine with me editing, I just mostly get the videos, cut them up, and reupload.
I noticed, however, that the more I've edited, the more I have decided to really edit hard and trim out basically all long pauses (anything that would seem longer than a breath needed to start a new sentence) and presenters saying "Ummmmmm", as that actually tends to happen a lot. My reasoning for this is that I actually think the removal of the extra pauses and filler sounds makes the presentations sound a lot smoother and well-prepared, and if I was a listener to a recorded lecture, I'd certainly want to have things be as clear and concise as possible (but that's just me).
My concern is that maybe I'm spending too much time removing stuff that doesn't matter. Overall, on a good video (little-to-no extra pausing or noises), I might save like 10min for every hour of presentation. On bad ones, I've saved 15-20min over the course of 70min or so. Unfortunately, this usually means that 60-90min videos take me around 6-7hrs to cut through (this includes adding title cards, trying to throw in a matte color background to make the Zoom calls appear less bland, and exporting individual parts from the whole). This feels excessive, but since I have no real industry experience besides a short internship and this job, I don't really know for sure. If I asked my supervisor, he wouldn't have a clue since he's giving me the work as somewhat of a proverbial bone-throw.
Obviously, if I have more billable hours, I get paid more, but I also don't love spending so much time on what ends up being like 60min of cut-up footage, especially when I'm not even doing animations or any major editing. I also don't want a reputation for being someone that takes far too long to do something that should/could be simpler. It's mostly just trimming things up and putting on a nice bow in the form of logos and title cards.
In this scenario, do you think removing most/all extra pauses and filler sounds makes sense? Or am I putting way too much effort into this? Being able to trim 10-20min off an hour or more seems like something people would probably benefit from, especially if I'm chunking things up to make them easier to watch after the fact. I'm just not sure if it should be taking me 7hrs to go through 90min of footage and trim out all the bloat.

I’m a second generation Asian American. Growing up my mom would always tell me about how hard life was over in Vietnam and how much of a struggle it was to come to America. Her and her siblings lost at sea for a month on a small fishing boat, and then rescued. Only to be sent to a refugee camp in Hong Kong for 4 years. She finally got to the states and met my dad, who was immature. They broke up when I was 9 months old. My mom struggled in the early years to raise me, I grew up on government hand outs, section 8, food stamps. I hated it, I didn’t blame my mom, I just hated the situation, I know it was rough for her to find employment with a language barrier. I told myself I’d do better. I would go to college and get a job that can take care of both of us. Then, I got pregnant before starting college. I was careless, I fucked up. I knew it wasn’t the life I wanted to live, so I got an abortion. I buried the guilt for a long time. I turned it into anger and in my mind I somehow spun it into motivation. I went to college just as planned. When I was 21, my uncle committed suicide. It shook the whole family. He was in a lot of gambling debt before he died. He asked me for money before he died, but I couldn’t help him. He owed my mom a lot of money too, which she’ll never get back now. Again, this made me so angry. Not only did I lose someone who was a father figure to me, but it hurt so much to see my mom so sad. I told myself, I needed to make it so this would never happen again. This isn’t the only sibling she has that’s fucked her over, being the oldest she spent her life taking care of her younger siblings and helping them in anyway she can. They’ve all managed to let her down by being gambling addicts and drug addicts. We kind of became the laughing stock to our extended family. It’s embarrassing. They’ve even poked fun at my uncles death. At 25, after graduating college and getting my first real job, I got married. We grew up with similar childhood struggles and I saw that he had ambition and goals very similar to mine. He’s really good to me and was there for me when my uncle passed. It felt good to have someone on my side and to be there for me. He understands my struggles. Today, we both have good paying jobs, and we own a home. I think I’ve made my mom proud. I’m able to help my mom out with bills. Sometimes I feel like it’s not enough, I know my mom says she’s happy or she’s at least content. She shaved her head and has converted to being a Buddhism nun so she can cope with all the sadness in her life. It just makes me so sad. I want to do so much more for her, I want everyone who’s laughed at us to see that they have nothing to laugh about now and the only way to make them shut up is too be on top and make a lot of money. While I do make good money, I start to feel guilty when I spend it. There’s always a voice in the back of my head telling me “you need to save it, invest it, make more money so you can make her proud. That way everyone will shut up”. I hate that I feel this way. I just want to be able to live a normal life like my friends do. Or just live life just for me. I just can’t let it go. I don’t know why. The stress and pressure is overwhelming, sometimes I feel like I’m going to go mad.
There’s so much more but that’s all for now I guess. Thanks for reading if you made it this far. I really needed to let it out.

Every time Charlotte shares some crazy wedding stories I reflect on my own crazy wedding experiences. Here are some of them.
The first time I was ever a bridesmaid, we had a religious ceremony, a break in the middle, and a reception in the evening. I spent hours setting up reception decorations in the hot sun with all the other hardworking bridesmaids. One of the groomsmen showed up to the reception with a broken arm. I asked him about this because he’d definitely had two functional arms that morning. While we were working hard, he ran off and played basketball and injured his arm in the process.
My mom was late to her own wedding because her sisters, who were supposed to do her hair, were busy watching Oprah. She eventually gave up waiting and curled it herself. Meanwhile my poor dad is stressed out of his mind because he thinks he’s getting left at the altar. He’d been previously married and had written in his diary the night before, “I’m getting married again tomorrow. I hope it works this time.” When she finally showed up, she gave her car keys to my uncle, who drove off with them. They were stuck waiting on a park bench for him to get home (in the days before cell phones) so they could call him and tell him to come back.
My friend “Tina” married her older sister’s ex-boyfriend. The sister and the groom had dated in high school, and by that point, the older sister had long since moved on with life and got married. There were no hard feelings on either side. Tina’s a little wild and thought it would be fun to jump into a pull fully clothed at her wedding. She then changed out of her wet wedding dress, so she’s not distinguishable by her outfit. As everyone was cleaning up after the reception, the groom wandered into the room and saw his wife bending over to pick up a box of decorations. He grabbed her on the butt. She promptly straightened up , turned around, and he found it was not his wife at all but the older sister. All the blood drained from his face and he thought he was in so much trouble. The sister thought it was hilarious, had a good laugh about it with her own husband and Tina, and now Tina’s husband has to quietly live with the fact that the legend will go down in family history.
This isn’t technically a wedding story, but my boyfriend and I are planning on getting married next year. We’ve discussed marriage very seriously but are not engaged yet. Our reason for waiting so long is that he’s finishing up grad school and I live an hour and a half away from his college town, so it would be logistically tricky for either one of us to relocate before he graduates. Two weeks ago my friend and I thought it would be fun to go to a bridal expo to look at wedding dress styles and vendor options as early-stage wedding planning research. I entered a bunch of random sweepstakes at the expo thinking there was no way I would win. A few days later, I found out I’d won a discounted men’s wedding ring, 50% off wedding invitations, and free airfare and a hotel to a beachside honeymoon destination. I then had to explain to my boyfriend how the freak I won all this crap we don’t need yet. Then I had to hem and haw my way through conversations with customer service people. “Um yes I’d love the free invitations but I don’t know my wedding date yet?” “Uhhh how long is that free airfare good for?” And yes, the rules of the free vacation do specifically state that I have to bring him. The travel agency won’t let me use it to go with a friend. (Yes, boyfriend and I factchecked the free honeymoon and so far it seems legit, I won’t go on it until I factcheck it further.)
Best of all: my high school history teacher constantly told stories about his personal life instead of teaching history. On the morning of his wedding, both families set up camp in a hotel room near the wedding venue so they’d have a place to put all their wedding stuff. Plot point: they’re on the eleventh floor of the hotel. Because there were wedding decorations strewn all around the hotel room, the only place he could think to hang his wife’s wedding dress was on the fire sprinkler. He managed to hang it at an angle where it wouldn’t activate the sprinkler, but then his brother went to take it down and it triggered it. Black coolant foam shot out and got over everything, including the dress. The fire suppression system also alerted the local fire department, so he had to hightail it out of the hotel before they made him stick around to explain himself. He ran down eleven flights of stairs with the dress to get it cleaned. At the bottom, the bride realized he’d left the veil upstairs so he had to run back up and get it. After running up and down eleven flights again, she realized the rings were missing and made him go back. He managed to successfully evade the fire department and they were married without a hitch.
Maybe don’t hang your dress on a fire sprinkler though.

1330 Terran Front Fleet Time
On the Turinika homeworld, the first signs of unrest began to manifest like a wave, The broadcast of the most esteemed Tizikikoonazikiakakiatkata, Taratanti of the roost Kazatalak, openly performing the act of Kavsa had been met with shock. The last Taratanti who had voluntarily performed Kavsa had done so in protest of the treatment of the Kulorn caste, nearly two thousand years prior. It was an ancient rite, one that signified rejection of the greatest shame. Even more shocking than the act itself was the evidence that had followed it. Visuals of species, brought into the Conclave, not as migrant workers as had been believed, but as slaves, was met with an almost immediate attempt at censorship. This attempt failed spectacularly, mostly due to those who had been tasked to censor the information not only refusing to follow the command, but openly declaring that they had been ordered to do so. A situation that was already, as the humans would say, out of hand, spiraled completely out of control. Within only twenty minutes of the ending of Tizikikoonazikiakakiatkata’s broadcast entire cities entered a state of absolute anarchy. Two planetary capitals were stormed and taken by the furious civilian population, demanding the location of those who had been enslaved. The Turinika Armada, which even then was in the middle of a training session meant to prepare the fleet to withstand the Terran Front’s assault, began to cease operations. Within the hour, the entire armada would be recalled to the turnika homeworld. Those who did not take to the streets simply stopped whatever work they were doing and went to their homes to be around their brood. Images of Tizikikoonazikiakakiatkata with his stripped wings spread wide in front of the human fleet commander were on every news fed of the Conclave, as was the sound of his thunderous voice, and the wails of despair from a turinika female that couldn’t be seen. Close ups of the human fleet commander’s face were shown, with analysts remarking on the shock, horror, and sympathy. Since the outbreak of the Seventh Orion War, the female human known as Simmons had been reported to have made several threats towards the turinika, she had quickly become seen as a warmonger, ready to take revenge against the turinika for refusing to go to war and violate their principles of pacifism. Now the images of her lunging forward to stop the violation of Tizikikoonazikiakakiatkata’s plumage, the agonized expression of her face, and the true reason for her threats against the turinika were rapidly reversing her image. On far flung deep core mining stations and agricultural stations, on deep space stations dedicated to material processing, and in other areas hidden from the sight of the normal turinikan population, overseers and taskmasters felt their hearts run cold at the knowledge that very soon, their part to play in the willful enslavement of another species would be known to the wider Conclave. As the data package transmitted alongside the broadcast were fully decompressed and the scale of the Conclave’s government’s involvement was revealed, the entirety of the Conclave itself was teetering on the verge of absolute pandemonium. The image of a member of the kolra species, from the look of it barely a hatchling, quickly was becoming the face of the entire incident. The picture was absolutely damning, and the sight of the image had sent any who saw it instantly into contorting and painful displays of shame. The young kolra was sprawled on it’s stomach, looking to the one taking it’s picture with eyes that had no life in them. It’s shell covered it’s back, and despite the age of the kolra it was already dulled and scuffed. The foot pressing down on the shell was unmistakably familiar to those who saw it, the clawed feet of a turinika. Within the hour, billions of winged figures stood in streets, the normally soft spoken and passive species demanding action, demanding justice, on the hundred worlds of the Turinika Conclave. The bulk of the Taratanti caste, most of whom had been left in the dark of the truth of the situation, quickly went public with their own declaration of outrage, and the eyes of the entire species turned inwards to the mountainous homeworld of their species.
Hakuri Watanabe looked down at his helmet before putting it on his bed, the stylized SEVEN seeming to stare at him. He sat down in his chair and picked up a small cloth from his buffing kit. No one knocked on his door, in fact, mostly he and the rest of his squad were left alone before a major operation. They were just given their time, time to mentally prepare. Some of his squad would go over their mission briefing, some, like him, would spend their time doing something to relax themselves. Hakuri always found that taking care of his suit calmed him considerably. Granted he could simply turn it over to the squads armorers to be tended to and they would do as good of a job as he could, but he preferred it to be done by his own hand. The symbol of a triangle was on his form fitting shirt, the symbol of his special operations command unit. He was known as a Myrmidon, but the official title of his unit was Section Three. He knew this, his superiors knew this, and as far as Hakuri knew, most of the Terran Front was aware of his unit’s existence, but past that, they knew very little about what he actually did. As far as his mother knew, Hakuri was a pencil pusher onboard the TFS Berlin, the troop mothership that all of his letters were sent from. He thought about writing her, but then again, he only liked to do that when he returned from a mission, not when he was expecting to go to one. If he tried to write her when he was waiting, he would just get anxious, and homesick. That wouldn’t do when he was dropping into a combat zone. That wouldn’t do at all. Hakuri instead started to buff his helmet, waiting for the word to come down which meant they were prepared to jump. A glance at the clock made him pause in his circular rotations. The clock said 1330. Operation Naked Sun was about to begin.
Tika was on his side, Kzia standing at the end of the medical bed that had been adjusted for his turinikan physiology. He felt cold in more ways than one. For his people, clothing was more of a decoration than a necessity, but without his protective plumage he felt the cold stabbing him through to his hollow bones. His diplomatic access was already gone, his privilege access revoked. He heard the broadcast for a preparation to jump, but he wasn’t truly listening. There was no question in his mind he had made the right decision. There was no question at all. One of the humans, a nurse, came to his side and gently laid a heavy blanket over him. The human’s hand lingered on his trembling body for a few moments before it was removed, and Tika glanced in their direction. The female was one of the ones who had responded first to the call for medical service for him, had heard what had happened and why. Tika had gotten very used to being glared at on this ship. He was hated, and he knew it. He knew he had deserved it. He was a party to the vral’s enslavement of the humans, the chua, and far too many others. When he had come to Thermopylae station, he had not even given that fact a single thought. He was born into power, being of the Taratanti. He belonged to the most powerful species and government in the entire quadrant of the galaxy. His people, while mighty, did not seek to use it. To him, they had simply been above it all. When the vral had approached him with the offer to sell captured species at first TIka had wanted to reject it out of hand, but a few had told him to go through with the sale. Such was the nature of this galaxy, or so he had believed. The weak were at the whims of the strong, and one’s place in the galaxy was determined only by the power they could wield. The turinika were not nearly the first to have taken a species and used it for slave labor, and while Tika did not approve of the deal, he had not fought it either. As he looked back to the wall, he remembered what the humans had taught him these last days. When he had arrived in Thermopylae he had assumed he would find the chua species to have been at the very least regulated to a subservient role, if not outright enslaved. Finding them sharing power was a curiosity. He had expected to be treated with all the honor and dignity that his station demanded, that the power of his government demanded. Fleet Marshal Simmons had disabused him of that, and had left him humiliated and shamed. As he had laid in the dark as Simmons had declared the Seventh Orion War, covered in his own filth, feeling as if at any moment he was going to be killed he knew true fear and horrific uncertainty for the first time in his life. He had never faced these emotions, these sensations before. He had always been in power. He had stood with the full might of the Turinika Conclave behind him. He had never known anything other than the superior position. Now, as he lay in the hospital bed, staring at the wall, he was ashamed of how arrogant, how blind, and how short sighted he had been. After he had risen from his own filth, he had desperately tried to convince his leadership of the strength of the Terran Front, how it matched or eclipsed their own. The Conclave was not the unchallenged power in the quadrant anymore. The terrans, the human and chua, had somehow defied fate. They had not fallen to the vral after ninety years of near constant conflict, and now if Tika was right they had come out of it nightmarishly stronger than before. Tika had actually begged to be heard by his superiors, and he had never come close to that once in his life. The chua homeworld however, had fully broken him. If he had not been on the Antares, had not been humbled beforehand, he knew that he would have just clapped his hands together and said that it was delightful. As the transmission from the chua homeworld had come in, and the rescue effort had begun, he could only wallow in his own shame. He had profited directly from the chua’s suffering, the human’s suffering. Again he had tried, and failed, to convince his people, and again he had failed. Being on the Antares, for him, was torture. The lights were too dim, every human and chua looked at him with nothing more than loathing and contempt, his entire worldview had been shattered from the way he viewed the galaxy to his own place in it. Every time he closed his eyes he saw the shadow of Simmons standing over him, her voice cold with a lethal rage, hearing her voice echo in his mind, seeing the glint from flashes of light shining in her eyes. ‘We Know.’ echoed in his mind in his sleep, the voice of the terrifying Fleet Marshal transforming into the sound of a vengeful god demanding compliance and promising retribution. Then he had watched the humans and chua, who he knew were preparing to go to war with his people, celebrating the return of the shesvie. Once more he had expected them to be integrated into the Terran Front, but as soon as he learned Simmons offer to them, and what it had entailed, he had been called to his room to answer the latest message from his people. Once again, his people had doubled down, the knowledge of the enslavement of the humans had been suppressed, and once more Tika found himself, and his people, standing against a Terran Front that had every justification to declare war, to right the wrongs that had been done to them. All the while, he knew something else. He knew that, after everything he had seen, that his people would lose. The turinika had not been to war for nearly two thousand years. His people were not ready for what the Terran Front could do, and after seeing what they had done to the vral so far, he knew his people were not ready for what the Terran Front would do. He was afraid of the dark. Tika was absolutely terrified of it now, because now he knew the monsters were real. Simmons had shown him that, but the humans, the chua, they were not the monsters. He was. He had refused to be one any more. He had announced his intentions to his staff, who had squalled in rejection, all but three. Kzia was the first to step to his side, Kikumot and Tziki had stepped forward as well. Never, in his most nightmarish dreams, did he ever think that he would stand in front of Simmons and voluntarily have his plumage stripped from him, performing the act of Kasva. He never thought that his staff would have ever compiled and transmitted the data package they had sent. He had never thought that he would betray his people, if only to save them. Simmons had changed that, the humans had changed that. He knew the terror of the dark, he knew fear for his people’s safety, he understood the horror of war, and for the first time in his long life he could truly look back at every interaction he had had, with every species, that had asked for help in their struggle for survival against the vral and truly understand their fear and desperation. Now he lay, his plumage stripped from him, his station revoked, his status removed, surrounded by a people who despised him. He wouldn’t have it any other way now. He knew that they would listen now, if not to him, then to the civilian masses of the Conclave that would not stand for what they had done. He prayed to the Great Mother often now, shivering in the dim light, hoping that it would be enough. He had been wrong, and in his error he had sullied his own people. He had made them complicit. Even now, he did not know how they would ever be forgiven, because right now he wasn’t quite sure he could ever forgive himself. As he heard the broadcast calling out on the ship, announcing one minute to jump, he felt a hand on his side, and looked up to the human nurse. She was smiling at him. Not a smile born of malice, or anger, but a genuine smile. She patted his side lightly, then turned to walk out of the room. For not even the twentieth time since he had come onboard Thermopylae, he was mystified by these people.
The bridge of the Dhampir was thrumming with music and the vibrations of the reactor and Conrad leaned forward in his chair mount, his eyes almost feral as he looked at the empty space that was the mandeville point. He was positively chomping at the bit. Batz was positively roaring the lyrics to the song that was blaring over the ships speakers. Rev and Dev sat side by side in their mounts, throwing their hands up in time with the pounding bass beat of the sound. Towns was the only one besides Conrad that was quiet, both of them looking towards the mandeville point with complete impatience. Conrad felt like jumping from his skin. Fidget, well, fidgetted, holding his hands over his headset and listening as if he were trying to hear secret messages in the music. They were ready, their pulses were racing. The crew of the Dhampir was positively vibrating. Conrad looked to the shipboard clock, seeing 1330 displayed, and his head snapped to Fidget, waiting for the word. They were going to run, they were going to chase, they were going to hunt.
Vicky sat back, looking towards Jess and Kukat as they slept. Jess was in her chair, Kukat in her medical bed. Vicky glanced back at the block print on the paper and read it for the fifth time. She read the individual lines, one at a time, cursing their existence. After reading through the message printed she let her hand hang again. Kukat would be released from medical tomorrow, and both her and Jess still thought they would be boarding the Thumper to join the Vellacore once more. Jess had talked non-stop about her quarters on the Vellacore the past few days, how she just wanted to be back in her room. Kukat was equally excited. Only Vicky didn’t share their excitement. They didn’t know yet. They didn’t know about their battlefield promotions, they didn’t know about their reassignments, they didn’t know the days of them working together were functionally over. Vicky looked down at her hand holding the paper again, and felt like crumpling it. She had lost her crew. She had lost them not due to negligence, or time, she had lost them to fame. Kukat was to be promoted to ensign, and was to be the sensor officer on the destroyer Hadrian, Jess was getting the same promotion, her station on the cruiser Victorious. Vicky? She was the sparkling new commanding officer of a destroyer that was arriving at Thermopylae in two days, the Quarrel. She never wanted this. She had turned down promotion after promotion that would take her from the cockpit of the Thumper, away from Kukat, away from Jess. She wanted to serve in this war in her own way, as a pilot, with the two who had made her life so enjoyable. Now though, they were to be split up, and there was nothing she could do about it. These promotions hadn’t come from simple seniority, they had come from High Command, as had the orders. Tomorrow, when Kukat was released, they would be ushered into the hanger bay of the Barrowmore. They would all three be awarded the Star of Terra, then they would be reassigned. Tonight was the last night they would all be together. Vicky wanted to wake them up, she wanted to tell them, to give them a chance to process it. As she looked to Kukat and Jess she couldn’t bring herself to do it. She held up the letter again, reading the first few lines, then she felt the sting of tears in the corners of her eyes. She looked away, her heart panging with sadness, and stared at the wall. The clock read 1330.
Corporal Brandy was sitting on the small rack, with Janet Shippen sitting between his legs using his thighs as armrests. They were both dressed for the first time in the last few hours, both of them staring at the clock. This close to the reactors they could feel them beginning to spool up for the trip through hyperspace. When the news of the operation had come down they had elected to spend as much time together as possible, which Brandy had enjoyed to no end, and he had made sure Janet had as well. Brandy had even taken some time to reach out to his sister Victoria, a rarity for them both, as since they were children they were often barely able to speak to each other simply due to schedules. He had even told her about Janet, and although he hadn’t gotten a response from his sister yet he already knew what she would say. Janet nestled back against him, but he could feel her body was stiff. Neither of them knew what the next few months were going to hold. Their time together might be constricted, in fact, this might be the last few moments they were together for quite awhile. Brandy’s Ghouls were specialists, ship boarders. Chances are he was going to be extremely busy, as was she. He didn’t quite know how he felt about Janet, but he did know that beyond a shadow of a doubt he didn’t want to be away from her. Judging from how she was acting, she felt the same as him, conflicted about her relationship with him, but not wanting to be apart. He knew what he needed to tell her, that he had to get up, that he had to leave. The Ghouls were going to be assembled at 1345, ready to board. Her unit was going to be prepared at the same time, to begin taking on salvage. Her hands were like clamps on his legs, and from how tense she was, he wasn’t going to get up until she was good and ready. The clock on the wall switched to 1330. He stared at the clock, feeling like the clock was mocking him, when suddenly Janet leaned up and turned. Her hands took hold of his shoulders and she threw her body against his, her lips finding his own. Her arms wrapped around her frame and he tightened his grasp on her.
Simmons spread her hands over the panel in front of her, looking at the table. Seven points connected the recently reclaimed chua space to what was former Shesvie territory, and beyond that, the heart of the Vral Empire. Her lip curled in a wicked smile, On the digital display of the table the hyperspace lanes, and more importantly, the avenues of attack her fleet was preparing to take. She held out her hand, all five fingers splayed over the lanes, envisioning the war as it stood now. The war to come. Seven hyperspace lanes, seven systems, branching out into sixteen, branching out again to another twenty. The Antares herself was going to link up with the Barraki, and was set to simply plough through the next five systems to do so. Slowly she tightened her hand into a fist as she looked along the hyperspace lanes, seeing task forces lined up and ready to jump. Drones had already been sent through. The vral had forces along the border, but nothing that could withstand what was to come. Her fleet was ready. She was ready. The Seventh Orion War was at the end of it’s first month, and had taken back six systems. The first moves of Operation Naked Sun would double that and exceed it, then double it again. She had already given her speech, her task force commanders were ready. High Command had taken it’s time making this decision, and while she had railed against the delay that didn’t matter now. All along the front, individual task forces were joined into larger fleets, ready to jump into the next system and eliminate any vral defenses, but unlike now, they simply would not wait. Naked Sun was to be a lightning strike to cut off as much of the Vral Empire as possible, to deny them their own space, to imprison them on their own worlds. Task Forces were designed around three types of vessels combinations, Lighthammer Task Forces were comprised of corvettes and fast destroyers, the fastest vessels in the fleet, meant to take systems quickly, to devastate unprotected infrastructure, and to eliminate light resistance. Simply put, they were going to swarm into vral space, determine pockets of resistance, and move on. They were going to rip entire sections of vral space from them, calling in other task groups if needed. Thunder task groups were the primary capital fleets, meant to be sent into those pockets of resistance, and neutralizing them, joining with the Lighthammer groups if needed. The cruisers, carriers, battleships, they all belonged to these task forces. Her own task force was called the Nova task force, and it comprised only the Antares and it’s sizable fleet escort. Simmons glanced up at the clock, the time was 1329. She breathed in slowly, then unbidden the thought came to her head and she looked to the report from the two habitable planets that had been scanned by the drone cutters, the information having been relayed to her almost twenty minutes prior. She was not worried about the ground campaign, in fact a reserve fleet from Thermopylae would be the ones to escort the landing ships from planet to planet that her fleet left behind in it’s wake, isolated and defenseless from the wider Vral Empire. Fleet escorting was no longer her job, protecting ground invasions were no longer her job. Simmons was positively growling now, as her only job was to take her fleet and use it to rip the vral out of the stars. Still, the thought nagged at her. On both of the planets that her fleet was set to overrun, there were Vral ships in orbit. On the first, there was evidence that the Vral had been bombarding a small area of the surface, extremely similar in size to the hole that now existed on Zvitia, the planet that even now was being integrated into the Terran Front. In the second system it showed Vral ships in orbit, but whatever they were doing during the time they had taken the scans, whatever they were covering up, they didn’t seem to have gotten to it yet. On the radiological scan of the planet a massive bloom of electromagnetic energy painted a broad region of the planet blistering white. She had sent the images back to Earth, back to High Command, but no one seemed to know what was happening. The one thing that every analyst agreed on so far that was that whatever the blooms represented, it meant nothing good. She took another long look at the radiological scan, seeing the intensity of the radiation, and her lip curled in a snarl. She couldn’t think about that right now, but orders had already been given to notify her the moment that they had taken a planet that still bore the radiation signal. The vral were being damned fastidious about it though. She pulled her thoughts away from it, looking back to the hyperspace lanes. The slow grin entered her features again. She glanced at the clock. 1330. Her hand took hold of the receiver next to her station and she pressed the transmission stud, knowing that Hazard had already opened a channel to the wider fleet.
“Commence.”

I have commented here a few times but never posted. It's long so i get if you dont want to read. I just have some feelings to let out! I've been with my(27f) SO(29m) for 4 years. He has a son(12) whom I met when he was 8. I am child free and have no interest in being a mother myself. However, I felt being a stepmom/cool aunt would be fine bc I don't have that big of an issue with kids and my SO only has SK EOWE (he now keeps SK 3 weekends a month bc SO's mother can't not stick her nose where it isn't wanted) I made the mistake of trying to be too helpful at the beginning of our relationship bc I am a people pleaser who didn't know better and wound up being main caregiver every weekend SK was here due to SO's excuse of having to work. For a little while it was fine bc SO had started a new, very fruitful and life changing job and I wanted to help him succeed and i was under the impression after a while he wouldnt be expected to work them as much. I picked up SK from BM's house after my own long day/week at work every weekend my SO had custody, I would pick up food for SK, even paid for groceries for SK when SO failed to get any for the weekend, cleaned up messes and was the only ear around for SK to yap into oblivion. HUGE MISTAKE!!! After a while (like 2.5 years) of this going on, no thanks or appreciation and then getting criticism from SO's father for literally parenting SK when no one else was, I threw my hat down and said I'm done taking care of SK for SO and would step back. Last year I had started to slowly nacho and do less and less as my resentment towards both SK and SO grew larger. At this point in time, SO was CHOOSING to work these weekends instead of being required to; and choosing to pick up extra OT (an extra 8 hours on top of the 16 he is working that weekend) on some of these weekends while taking off on weekends we didnt have SK. This grinded my gears and I had a discussion with SO about how unfair it is to expect me to be completely responsible for SK when I am not his parent. That resulted in SO's mother taking SK for one weekend a month and SO apologizing and saying he won't do that anymore. Now, maybe I should have been more clear, but SO took this to mean that he could work these weekends, but no OT. That is not what I meant. I meant for SO to not work when he has SK. It came to a big head when just 2 weeks after we had our initial discussion, SO texts me from work telling me he not only had signed up for the weekend, but asked for an additional 12 HOURS that weekend since it would be extra pay for working on a holiday without talking to me on a SO custody weekend. He had the audacity to tell me "dont be mad." I lost it. I told him that this behavior was disrespectful to me and a huge slap in the face given the conversation we practically just had a fortnight ago. He apologized, said he won't do it again but it wasnt good enough for me until i saw real, consistent change. I told SO he needs to get his mother to watch SK that weekend because I will not be doing it. He tried but SO's mom was out of town. I was pissed and told him if it happened again there would be a serious change in our relationship, either I move out or we split and that he will be making up for this for a long time. Things were fine for a little over a month. SO was taking off weekends he had SK like I asked and had someone watch SK if SO wanted to work. All is good. Then this weekend came. SO signed up this weekend despite SK coming over and didn't communicate with me. I was mad but kept quiet, when I shouldn't have. Today we were talking and deciding whether to go workout today since if we did we would have to rush around before SO had to leave for work. SO said something along the lines of: SO: "what do you want, then?" Me: "for you to not go to work tonight." SO: "So we can go to the gym?" Me: "Yea....among other things.." I think he knew what I meant. I could tell his tone got defensive. I know that was passive aggressive of me but tbh we had been having some rough times lately and I was so tired of being frustrated with him so it just kinda came out. I told him the same things I had been saying: not my kid so why am I expected to take care of him? I don't mind helping but I am not SK's mother or father, he has those. This did not bode well in SO's brain because even though I stayed level headed to express myself, he immediately jumped on the defensive, got loud and told me that since I am at home that it "shouldn't be too much to expect me to watch his kid." And just no. Absolutely not. I DID NOT PUSH THIS KID OUT OF ME OR BUST A NUT IN THE WRONG PLACE!! I put my foot down and I told him straight up I did not get into this relationship to be anybody's mother and if that is what he expected of me then we will not work. After A LOT of getting him to calm down🙄🙄🙄 he began to understand what I was saying(Or at least put on a damn good show of it if not). I tried my best to make him feel that I do not hate or really even dislike his son or wish him to be gone(I prefer Sk not be here but it is what it is and I try not to have SK feel that way bc it's not his fault) but I am very resentful of the amount of work I have put in and am expected to do for a child I did not have and isnt my responsibility. I also sited his lack of communicating efficiently with me about his work schedule. I said I know I get visibly irritated when SK comes over and SO decided to ask "well if I do this will your attitude towards SK change?" Which like...what bad faith question honestly. I told him "yea, most likely, with time and consistency from you." Overall, we are doing well as of right now and I feel like things are slowly changing, which is good. Not exactly how I wanted but that's reality, ya know? I love SO very much. He is an amazing partner and is the only place I have felt safe in my life. His child is just a really tender spot for us as SO does not want to be a father but feels stuck. I understand that but we have to wake up to our reality and not just push responsibilities off onto others. I hope things will continue to get better from here but I also wouldn't be surprised if this is what eventually breaks us up if we spilt ever. Apologies for the length. I've had a lot of feelings for a while and don't have anywhere to let it out but this subreddit has really helped me understand my own feelings and feel less like I'm the bad guy for how I feel.

I don't know how else to title this. I got fired three days ago and I'm having difficulty processing. I've been working in the childcare field for two months and haven't properly learned everything that I need to. I have all my licensing, a clean criminal record and a (ex-employers words not mine) kind personality. I am however extremely inexperienced.
The trouble started with my training. No one told me how or what to do. Most of the time I was just following my boss's exact on a whim instructions. If she told me to do the dishes, I would do the dishes. If she told me to do the laundry, I would do it. She didn't however explain how to do the attendance or how to calculate hours or fill out incident reports or any of that. I was trained in good prep and basic company policy and that's it.
I have anxiety and my boss was well aware of that as I specifically put it in my file and she took me aside and asked about accommodations. I said that I might have trouble interacting with large groups and older children. Despite this I was put in the out of school care department. I struggled a lot interacting with the kids and was really awkward despite my training. I did however improve after this was pointed out and this guy from upper management said he had never seen someone switch up so fast.
I got written up two weeks ago for being bad at the attendance sheets and was told I should cooperate with my coworkers and if I noticed a kid hadn't been signed out I should ask my coworker if they knew when said kid had left. This worked for the three hours after I got written up, but then my coworker stopped working for the company and they hired a new employee.
New employee is absolutely terrible at keeping track of the children. She spends her entire shift making crafts and never signs any of them out. I tell her she needs to and I'm going to lose my job if she doesn't help me. I'm trying so hard to get better at the attendance sheets, but I'm only getting one shift a week at this point. She doesn't follow company protocol, refuses to keep her radio on her person, condescends me a lot, says I'm young and just haven't worked for long enough. I bring this up to my managers and am completely ignored. They say new employee will get better with time.
Last shift at work I forgot to take my meds in the morning. That was on me. That was my fault. I tell my boss I didn't take my meds and might be more stressed than usual. She says she understands. I miss a kid on the attendance. My coworker says she has no idea when he left. This conversation happens in front of my boss.
I have a complete breakdown/crying fit because I think I'm getting fired (I was right lol). My boss takes me aside and tells me she thinks I would do better at a different place within the company and she'll get upper management to transfer me to a different department possibly working with younger kids. She says I'm too honest (about a week prior the company had overpaid me by like 1000 dollars and I told them instead of keeping it), and kind to fire outright.
So I go into my job the next week on the day I'm scheduled and they sit me down and hand me a letter. I get excited because my boss has told me that she isn't going to fire me. It's a termination letter. I don't know if she was lying or just didn't want me crying at work but here we are. I didn't react until after I had left the building but I called my girlfriend and started angry ranting because my boss said something that didn't turn out to be true.
My mom thinks it's entirely unfair to give me one shift a week and expect me to improve my performance, and everyone else I've talked to thinks this situation is actually bs

Hey, I know there were TONS of posts about these. I'm buying a used car at $14,400.
I told him we can do bank draft, he said no because the bank holds it and it takes too long to get his money. So he rather have etransfer or cash.
He said I can contact etransfer and ask them to increase the limit and it should be viable for 24 hours He basically made it seem like its a private sale, but the permit is from a car sales and it says unplated too. I'm not sure of where to post this.
his car is fine, but ANOTHER issue is that the car from carfax is registered to quebec, but his permit says a palce in toronto of an address to car auto shop. The VIN is the same on carfax and permit, but I have not checked the car (I forgot... not a lot of information on the company either...not even a website.
sorry i'm just not sure of where to post this. How can I approach this with, im uncomfortable with etransfecash, we can head to the bank after he do all that stuff (license/registration/safety). He said I can etransfer him when he delivers the car and gives us the paperwork and everything. Forgot to ask uvip, will ask that.
Please and thanks.

Just wanna ask whats the reason why we shoudn't push when pooping after surgery? Will it break out hernia mesh repair? I had a open bochdalek hernia repair by open anterolateral thoracotomy about 10x10cm hernia hole. About 2.5 months post OP. Should i still be worried and still dont push when taking a dump after 2.5 months? And how long should it should take for me to go back to normal? Kindly share your experience
Im always anxious that i will break my repair if i do that or do sudden body moves when im laying down. Thanks in advance.

This will function as a one-stop guide to sound deaden the 3rd generation Mazda3. I believe it will be useful for any previous or next-gen Mazda3 owner, or anyone with a CX-30, as these platforms share many components.
Like others undertaking this project, I did a ton of research on sound deadening, the process, and the products first before jumping in. I would encourage anyone pursuing the same project to read through the links I’ve included in this write-up as they should give you all the information you need to sound-deaden your car in a comprehensive, easy manner, without having to do the weeks of research I had to do.
Pre-reading:
If you haven’t already, read through this thread for background as this is a solid, comprehensive write-up.
https://www.mazda3revolution.com/threads/sound-deadening-my-17-mazda-3-bn.242072/
Materials Needed:
1. Butyl-based mat to apply first as your base layer
I used 72 square feet to do the entire car, including hood, wheel wells, full interior, rear hatch area, and all doors. I did not do the headliner.
Total cost: $200 CAD
I used 1 box of 2mm (80 mil) Kilmat, and 1 box of 2.5mm Amazon branded butyl sheets. I found the Kilmat had better adhesion and was easier to cut and work with, because of the smaller sheet sizes, so I used this for tight spaces and the doors. The Amazon stuff was great to apply to large areas such as the floor of the vehicle, because I would just stick one entire sheet down and be done with it. It’s also slightly cheaper than the Kilmat.
Other brands: Silless, which manufactures the closed cell foam, also makes this stuff for a reasonable price.

2. Closed cell foam as the second layer
I used 100 square feet.
Total cost: $200
I did a LOT of research and shopping around to find the best balance between price, value, and performance of closed cell foam. I ultimately landed on using Siless Liner 157mil (4mm) closed cell foam which I found on Amazon. Noico is also another brand that makes this stuff for slightly more cost. These come in boxes of 51 square feet for about $100. I thus bought two boxes of the stuff. I did end up with leftover product, which I have saved as it can be used to stick on anything else that causes noise such as a furnace, washing machine, etc along with the leftover butyl mat.

3. Rubber-based floor underlay as the final layer
I used a 100 square foot roll of Technoflex Underlayment Acoustic Membrane, 2mm thickness.
Total cost: $85
Product link: https://www.rona.ca/en/product/technofloor-technoflex-underlayment-acoustic-membrane-thermal-insulation-4-ft-x-25-ft-x-008-in-100-sqft-rubber-material-black-m2000-100-73015020
Alternate link: https://technoflexintl.com/en/product/technofloor-acoutstic
Other products I considered, but chose against as the Technoflex is thicker

• https://www.rona.ca/en/product/mono-serra-zito-200-ft2-15-mm-blue-high-density-foam-underlayment-for-vinyl-floors-fm-906-84666069
• https://www.rona.ca/en/product/selitbloc-griptec-subfloor-underlay-pressure-resistent-foam-48-in-w-x-25-ft-l-100-sqft-15-mm-thickness-blue-gold-a64305-05075003

In Canada, you cannot find mass loaded vinyl. My goal was to find something relatively cheap and functional. I went to underlay because it’s sold in bulk and there are many products out there to compare effectiveness. Flooring underlay also has specific requirements in order to carry a particular sound deadening rating. It’s also rubber-based, like vinyl, so I figured I would just double up on layering as I had enough product to do so. I did end up doubling up the layering in most places and had leftover product.
Please note, this product is not adhesive. You lay it down like a blanket and you need to cut it to fit in tight spaces. Thus, I did not use it in vertical areas like the doors. I only used it on the floor and trunk of the vehicle. I am not technically inclined enough to adhere or screw it on the doors, but there are other people in the links on this thread who have done so, so depending on your skill level it is certainly possible.

All Tools Required

1. Socket set with 10mm socket and a Phillips screwdriver. I purchased a full socket set because I did not have one and found one on sale.
2. E-torx socket size 12 to remove the front seats. I just purchased a set of 8 for $20
3. Trim removal tool and plastic clip replacements, approx. $20. Extremely useful!!
   • https://www.amazon.ca/dp/B01N9AL149?psc=1&ref=ppx_yo2ov_dt_b_product_details
   • The metal trim removal tool is worth its weight in gold. Trust me, there are a LOT of plastic trim pieces to remove, and this tool makes them very easy to remove properly without breaking anything. All cars nowadays use plastic trim, so it’s a worthwhile purchase if you’re ever going to do work on any future car as well.
   • I purchased the set above because it came with a whole array of trim removal tools as well as a huge variety of replacement plastic trim pieces. I ended up using a couple pieces that broke when I did the doors. The kit has everything you may need for most vehicles, including our Mazdas.
4. Rubber roller, $12. Useful for rolling down the butyl mat and closed cell foam.
   • https://www.amazon.ca/dp/B01N9AL149?psc=1&ref=ppx_yo2ov_dt_b_product_details
5. Do yourself a favor and get some gloves. I used my bare hands for about 50% of the time, and they were sore, and had little nicks and cuts all over them by the time I was done. Much easier with gloves.

Skill Level
I have a general interest in cars but the most technical work I’ve ever done are oil changes and tire swaps. This was the largest and most technical project I ever embarked on. I work an office job, so I don’t even work with my hands a lot. If I can do it, so can you (as long as you set aside the time and have the proper tools).

Results
I did not take before-after videos, as that has been captured by videos on Youtube as well as people who have measured the noise levels in the threads below. All I can tell you is that this does work. In my opinion, the project even for a newb like me is totally worth it. For less than $500, and a couple days of work, you can make your Mazda feel like an entirely different vehicle.

Now, sounds and vibrations are barely transmitted going over rough roads. The car feels so much more planted and stable when going over bumps. The audio system sounds better. The doors close with a rich-sounding ‘thunk’. By far the biggest improvement is getting a whole new level of isolation within the car, which makes long trips so much more tolerable and the daily commute so much more relaxing. I would 100% do this again.

The project
Okay, let’s get to the project itself! I’ve broken up each area of the car into separate sections. As the write-ups below are fairly comprehensive, there is no need for me to reinvent the wheel.

Doors
This link contains pictures and instructions, very clearly detailed, on how to do the doors. I did the rear doors first to get used to working with all the materials, then the trunk, then the interior of the car. I would suggest following these instructions.
https://imgur.com/a/2018-mazda-3-sound-deadener-install-vE1o9Hi
Before taking apart your doors, also read through this thread as it contains some more details and information that you will find useful.
https://www.mazda3revolution.com/threads/sound-deadening.126105/?post_id=1624345&nested_view=1&sortby=oldest#post-1624345
This thread is also good to read as it is very detailed. It is for the previous generation, but the door design has not changed that much compared to our generation.
https://www.mazda3revolution.com/threads/cheaply-and-effectively-sound-deadening-your-2010-2013-mazda3.111385/

Wheel arches
Use these links and instructions for the wheel arches
https://www.mazda3revolution.com/threads/sound-deadening.126105/page-2
As well as the Imgur gallery from the Doors section for some more pictures.

Trunk
This is the easiest part of the whole project. If you’ve read the threads above, you don’t need any help with this. I did not do the hatch door. I do not think that is worth it, because if your trunk area is well insulated and you have your rear seat up, there’s not a lot of noise that’s going to get through the hatch door.

Interior
This is the part of the project that I had to figure out on my own, so I want to give several tips that will make it easier if you’re doing this.

~1. Removing the interior carpet:~
First vacuum the carpet.
You don't need to remove the entire console to get access to the majority of the floor. To remove the interior carpet, first remove the rear seat, then the front seats, then the interior plastic trim, and finally there are some pieces of Styrofoam in the front wheel wells. You can pull up the carpet for the left side of the vehicle as you work on that side, then tack it all down, and repeat for the right side of the vehicle.

~2. Removing the front seats~
First, disconnect the battery using the 10mm socket. This is recommended by the manufacturer to prevent accidental discharge of the air bags.
If you have the E-torx size 12 socket, removing the seat bolts is a breeze. I zipped them right off. Undo the back bolts, then slide the seat to its rearmost position, then remove the front bolts. Roll the seat onto it’s back to access the harness, undo the harness, then remove the front seat either from the front or rear door. It doesn’t matter.
Go to this site and download the PDF that Anchorman posted. That is all you need to know to remove the front harness. It took me HOURS of searching the web to find a resource this good – there aren’t even any good videos demonstrating what the PDF shows. https://www.cx3forum.com/threads/drivers-seat-removal.17234/
This was both the easiest and hardest thing about the project. Where I got stuck was removing the wiring harness from underneath the seat. Don’t be like me and stick a screwdriver in there, because that can damage the plastic. Instead, simply lift the white tab, press the tab underneath, and the harness comes off nice and easy. The link above with the PDF by Anchorman is what I WISHED I had at the start. I hope this will make it much easier for you.
Don’t be worried about the airbag going off etc. Using the diagram in the PDF, it’s just 1 harness and it comes off super easy and clips back in super easy too. It’s idiot-proof. You won’t have any trouble.

~3. Remove the interior plastic trim~
Again, watch this video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Aat4kUanm9w to see how to remove the trim and in what order. It’s actually quite easy and easy to reinstall as well. Just remember that the front and rear passenger scuff plates go on last. The other interior trim, does not matter what order you reinstall it.
Another tip, when removing the furthermost front inside trim (i.e the fusebox cover) and its equivalent on the front passenger side, there is a plastic nut securing that trim in place at the very front of it. It’s hard to see in there. Simply reach your hand in there, find the nut, and lefty-loosen it all the way until it comes off. Easy peasy!

~4. Remove the carpet~
You can pull up the carpet one side at a time. I recommend starting with the left side. In one area only, I cut through my carpet in order to remove it on the rear passenger areas, where it is affixed underneath the front seatbelt holder. This is not a problem. It was just easier this way, and because that area gets covered up by plastic trim, it doesn’t matter if you cut through it to make your life easier.
Once the carpet is lifted up, vacuum underneath it to ensure you have a clean surface that your butyl will adhere to.

~5. Do the driver’s side first!~
The front left side of the vehicle floor is the hardest to do because you have to contend with the footrest, reaching underneath the steering wheel, and the gas pedal. I removed the accelerator pedal – it is just held in place by two 10mm nuts, and then an electrical harness that easily clips off. Remove it and set it aside. Then, lift the carpet and remove the Styrofoam. Use a needlenose plyer to help unclip the plastic portion holding the Styrofoam in place. I did not end up reinstalling that plastic piece, as I installed sound deadener where it would have plugged into the floor. No harm.
I suggest doing the driver’s side first because once you’re done that front left area, the rest of the car is super easy. So do this while you’re fresh. Try to cover as much as you can in the front wheel wells, because that is a significant area of incoming road noise. Be systematic about cutting the butyl and closed cell foam in the correct sizes here, as you will have to reinstall the gas pedal, the Styrofoam, and the carpet properly. The good news is that it’s all easy to reinstall. I didn’t have any trouble.
Once you’re done with the driver’s compartment, systemically work your way with large butyl sheets and closed cell foam through the rest of the car floor. There is no need to apply this stuff up where the plastic trim will be reinstalled, on the inside lateral frame of the car – if you do so, it might be more difficult to reinstall the carpet and the plastic trim. Just do the flat bottom floor only, and you can hold the carpet up to access up along the centre console as well. (Keep in mind this is written for someone with my skill level – i.e newb. If you are more advanced and know what you’re doing, then go ahead and put some butyl or CCM in the inside lateral area, the area otherwise covered up with plastic trim).
I did not go for 100% coverage. To do that would take a lot longer. I went for about 90% coverage with the butyl and closed cell foam, and the rubber Technoflex layers covered up pretty well 95% of the area.
When you are laying the material down, ensure not to cover the holes for the seat bolts. If you do by accident, no worries – just use a screwdriver to poke through them, and you can easily still thread the bolt through when you go to reinstall your front seats.
Repeat the same steps on the right side of the vehicle.

~6. Reinstall the plastic trim.~
First reinstall the carpet and ensure all the holes line up. Reinsert the plastic clips into the holes to hold the carpet in place. Then, reinstall the frontmost trim piece, ensuring it clicks into place, and finally screw the plastic nut on. You may need to lift the rubber insert around the door to replace the plastic trim properly – the rubber insert comes off and goes on very easily, it is very forgiving to work with.
Then, install the B pillar trim piece. Then, the inside rear trim piece. Finally, the scuff plates, front and rear.

~7. Reinstall the front seats.~
~8. Reinstall the rear cushion.~
~9. Plug in the battery again.~
You’re done! Go for a rest drive and let the results speak for themselves!

Final thoughts
I did not take pictures because I was too busy installing the stuff and there are plenty of pictures available on the various threads.
I did reach out to many people on the forum and on Reddit who have done this project and from everything that I’ve learned, I believe this should be all you need to know to do this project successfully.
It will take several days so set some time aside. Here are some rough estimates:

• Trunk: 2 hours
• Each door: 2-3 hours (first door will take longer, then each door after gets shorter and shorter)
• Wheel wells: 2 hours
• Inside Hood: 1 hour
• Interior: 9 hours. Set aside a full day for this. You will want to take breaks in between steps. It took me from 10am to 8pm.

I have a positive story to share. I avoid this sub for the most part unless I’m in a bad place mentally, but I’ve been wanting to share. I will try to keep a very long story short.
I’ve had emetophobia since I was as young as 4. It only cropped up if someone got sick near me or if someone in my house was sick, but for the most part it didn’t bother me on a daily basis.
Shortly after having my daughter, my husband got a series of sb* right in a row. I was already dealing with PPD/PPA, and this sent me over the edge. It got BAD. I barely remember the first two years of my daughter’s life. At my worst, I spent an entire trip in New York in the hotel room because I was convinced I was sick (I wasn’t). My husband actually got sick on another trip, and I left him in another state, booked him a separate flight home, to avoid sitting next to him. Just painting a picture of how bad it was. For a period of time, I was suicidal, I was taking Xanax around the clock just to get through the day, and I got on Zoloft to help manage. I was in a case study to do EMDR for emet, which also helped a lot.
I took up a pretty strict lifestyle where I went to therapy weekly (still do), took an MBSR (mindfulness based stress reduction) course, and took up yoga. Over the course of a year and a half doing that, I was able to get off medication completely and deal with my symptoms as they crop up.
Since my daughter started school, it’s been tough, but I make it through. My husband handles when she does get sick (not often) and I usually go to my mom’s house.
UNTIL. We were recently on a camping trip in our camper. My daughter got sick on the FIRST night we were there, the only night we didn’t have a campsite with hookups. No running water, we discovered we didn’t have bleach, and I had a panic attack and decided I couldn’t do it. I got a hotel room across the street, literally bought a separate hotel room for her to shower in, and I was 100% prepared to get an Uber to the airport and fly home the next morning. There was no way I would be able to stay for a whole week in a confined space like that. What if my husband or I got it next?
The next morning I checked on her and had my finger on the button to call an Uber. She told me she felt bad for ruining the trip. I realized in that moment that if I left, I would be proving her right. My husband was extremely supportive and told me he would not be upset if I left but that he would love if I would stay. So I made the decision to stay. I went to Walmart, bought bleach and Lysol and new sheets, cleaned the camper from top to bottom, and tried to enjoy the day outside.
We actually had the BEST trip. No one else got sick. We made SO MANY MEMORIES that I would’ve missed out on by leaving. I’m so so glad I stayed. It was an emotional week for me, and I was so glad everyone in my life realized what a huge step it was for me.
I’m sharing this because I know there are people here like me who believe they can’t do it and that it will never get better. But it CAN. Since I got back, I haven’t been constantly washing my hands or using Zylast like usual. It hasn’t been on my mind 24/7 like usual. I still get anxious when I hear about it, but it’s not occupying my brain all day long anymore.
Tonight, my husband is out of town. The worst time she could possibly get sick. We’re watching a movie and she tells me she thinks she’s going to get sick. I freaked out for a moment, took a Xanax (I rarely take them now) to calm myself, but was able to calm down and figure out a plan. I got everything ready in case it happened. I called my mom and she came over for a while. I still don’t know if she’s going to be okay, but I’m sitting here NOT wanting to die over it. Knowing that whatever happens, we will be okay. Knowing that I can do it.

I thought it would be beneficial to share my IELTS experience (academic, computer-based) to decompress and de-traumatise myself haha.
I'm not a native English speaker, but I've lived in an English-speaking country for around 13 years now. I speak English daily and hardly ever use my first language (I hate it; it's so ugly). I need at least a score of 7 in every category for registration purposes. Basically, if I can't deliver, I cannot pursue a certain career. I breathe English, I think in English, I basically AM English. IELTS, pffff, should be a piece of cake, right? Oh boy, was I wrong.
I forced myself to do a little one-week IELTS bootcamp before my actual test, you know, just to be prepared and not waste money as this dumb test costs a fortune. I used the official practice tests. Listening? No worries, easily got an 8.5/9 every time. Reading? MHM. In my first reading test, I had 24 correct answers out of 40... The stupid YES / NO / NOT GIVEN questions were wonderful for someone who overthinks A LOT. I looked up some strategies and then got 8.5/9 every time for reading. EASY. Writing? I literally just looked at the structures needed and memorised a couple of fancy words. EAZZZYYYYY. Speaking? Well, I'm awkward as hell and introverted, but hey, I can speak if needed. All good. Also, there’s not really much to prepare for.
Fast forward to the testing day. I used a new shampoo the evening before (voluminous & shiny hair) and went to bed with wet hair. When I woke up, my hair had so much freaking volume, it exploded so much that it now basically filled my entire room. It was intimidating. No time to do anything about it - I put a cap on, and this somehow tamed it.
You should be there 30 minutes before your test starts. Traffic was a nightmare; I was there 20 minutes before the test and had no idea there was an introduction. I walked into a room full of people, listening to someone explaining stuff. Everyone stared at me. My nervous self became even more nervous, and my face probably mutated into a tomato. "Sorry," I mumbled and sat down somewhere in the darkest corner. We were then informed that 1. we are not allowed to take food with us. It really stung because I had this new tiny delicious protein bar with me as a treat, carefully chosen the day before. 2. We weren't allowed to wear watches and mobiles needed to be turned off. 3. The introduction lady stared right into my soul: "NO headwear is allowed." I had to remove my cap, guys. It was so messed up. My hair was everywhere, and I felt like a miserable mop. You then basically get married to your passport. DO NOT FORGET TO BRING IT. One girl got disqualified because she didn't have hers. Hold on to yours; you need it for EVERYTHING. The number of times they checked mine, before, during, and after, was insane. The whole test building was a mess, by the way. It was old, it smelled, it was damaged, and there was NO light. I felt depressed the second I entered that damn building. We then got herded into a tiny room with really old computers. Guess what? Passports got checked again. We were around 10 people, and they had just checked them before sending us into the room. Anyway, the test started. Listening was great, except apparently I don't know how to write "volcano" correctly. I went to the bathroom before the test, but I could already feel my bladder getting annoying during that part. When I started the reading section, my whole body was shaking. It was insanely cold in that room; I was wearing a hoodie. The reading part was so much harder in comparison to the practice tests. This also may have had something to do with the articles I got. They didn't interest me in the slightest and my nervousness was making it really hard to focus. I wiggled my way through it but had around 8-9 questions I wasn't sure of. Fun fact: they had 2 sections of these stupid NOT GIVEN, TRUE / FALSE questions. Just to celebrate my existence. I panicked a little during that section and ran out of time in the end. The reading part takes around 1 hour, and by then I felt tired, HUNGRY, exhausted... and I was almost peeing myself. They don't stop the time for you, so what kind of idiot goes to the toilet during an IELTS exam? Yes. I was that idiot. I lost 5 minutes of time for my writing exam. I honestly should have worn a diaper. I really needed those 5 minutes. Long story short: after task 1, my thoughts were "That's pretty meh, I'll come back and sparkle it up later." I ran out of time for task 2. I had 7 minutes left when I was working on my second paragraph. I didn't have a conclusion yet; I didn't proofread. Task 1 was simultaneously breathing down my neck. Guys, it was an absolute shit show. I also started freaking out, which probably didn't help much. I spewed out a conclusion, 3 sentences which did not make ANY sense. I tried to finish my second paragraph, which also now does not make ANY SENSE. And I wasn't able to proofread any of it. Did I mention the computers were ancient? You had to basically spank the keyboard for it to work. I'm sure there are lots of missing letters. Fark mi life.
Once I slumped out of that dark testing room, I honestly could have cried. I felt fragile, exhausted, HUNGRY, and just massively disappointed with myself. I just wanted to roll home and die in bed. But wait, I totally forgot - there was one more part to tackle. SPEAKING. Yay. A fun thing to do when you feel absolutely broken.
I had to loiter around for an hour, cap proudly back on my head, stuffed my face with the protein bar (which turned out to taste like an old sock), gulped down some water and an energy drink. I hadn't had caffeine for over 3 years, so drinking an energy drink might not have been the best option. I FELT SO ALIVE AND EVERYTHING PASSED IN THE SPEED OF LIGHT. YEEEEW HAAAAH. I galloped back into the testing center, peed my insides out in the bathroom (I've learned), stared into the mirror, took off my cap for one millisecond, and decided it was best to keep wearing it, for humanity. I sprinted out of the bathroom, wasn't even surprised that my passport got checked again, and, did I mention? They also love your fingerprints. They got taken around 5 times while I was there. "NO HEADWEAR." I had to take that damn cap off again and could feel my hair fluffing up. HOW CAN ANYONE TAKE ME SERIOUSLY WITH THAT HAIR? I now had to engage in an actual conversation with an actual human. First impression was out the window, bet. I had to sit around for 20 minutes, not being able to use my phone or anything. I could not sit still. I watched people leave other rooms, crying. Finally, the door opened, and I was let in for my speaking test. The tester was literally a machine in human form. He mechanically read questions to me. I didn't feel strongly about ANY question he asked me. They were all so boring, and I literally had nothing to say. One of them, for example, was "Does your family have an old belonging? What is it? And what do you know about it?" My family are minimalists; they don't keep stuff. There I was, having to give some sort of stupid presentation in one minute, and I literally had NOTHING to talk about. Guys, don't let this dishearten you though; just make stuff up. I ended up word vomiting on him. He had to stop me multiple times. I felt annoyed with how much I was talking, but hey, at least I said something. He knew I could yap and speak English. We were all good. After that, I had heart palpitations and am still high on caffeine while writing this.
If you have any questions regarding the test, I can attempt to help you. If you messed up your writing and potentially reading test, I feel you. I will very likely have to spend between $199-300 to resit it. I absolutely hate the IELTS and hope to tick it off... soon.

I first started noticing that something was wrong around 3 months ago. At the time, I was working from home and would usually light a scented candle while I worked, which usually helped me relax and stay focused on my work. I would usually burn through a candle a week, but over time, the candles started to take less time to fully burn up. At first, I thought that this was because of a change in ingredients the company that made the candles used, but the problem persisted after I switched candle brands, which I once again blamed on the candle manufacturers.
I kept this belief for another week until the first incident. While getting up from my computer desk, which faces away from the candle, to take a quick bathroom break, I caught a glimpse of the lit candle. A two-inch layer of molten wax rested on another three-inch layer of solid wax, the wicks rising out at first and being somewhat visible through the molten layer, finally breaking the surface and being slowly burned away. The flames flickered as I swung the door open and walked out of the room. When I returned 10 minutes later, the molten layer was gone, and the wicks had been shortened so that the flames rested right above the solid layer of the wax. At first, I thought that the glass jar that contained the candle was leaking, but after a short inspection, I was only able to find two small drops of candle wax that had solidified right next to the candle on the bedside table. I still had 2 hours of work left to do, but I was too lost in thought and was unable to do any work for the rest of the day.
Every night before I go to sleep, I like to read for at least 30 minutes, and while reading, I usually light a candle. Around 4 days later, I had mostly forgotten about the incident and went back to using candles. Due to my naivety, it returned.
I fell asleep while reading with a candle lit on my bedside table. I woke up to loud slurping noises. As I opened my eyes, the brightness of the light I had not turned off almost blinded me. As my eyes tried to readjust to the light and focus on what was in front of me, I saw a somewhat humanoid dark gray to light blue blur that contrasted with the white paint on the walls behind it. Another gray line stretched from the shape's head to the candle on my bedside table. I could feel my heart skip five consecutive beats. I opened my mouth and tried to force out a scream for help, but the pressure I applied to my throat was way beyond what it was able to handle, leading me to only produce a light wheezing sound. I tried to sit up or to at least prop myself up, but my muscles failed me. Trying to push myself up with my arms felt impossible. As I stared at the figure that had suddenly appeared in my room, my eyes finally managed to focus, making it possible for me to see the intruder who was now staring at me. The figure was a man at least 7 feet tall, fully naked; he looked bloated; his eyes were bloodshot and looked like they would pop out of their sockets; at any point, his skin was a grayish light blue.
HIS LIPS
His lips extended from his mouth like an elephant's trunk, which had been split in half. The lips extended from the man's face to the candle; the flames had been put out. He was using his lips as a makeshift straw, slowly sucking up all the molten wax from the candle, which had fully liquified while I was asleep. I laid in bed, unable to move, unable to scream for help, staring until he emptied the jar. His lips retracted back to his face, the molten wax solidifying on their tips and cracking, flakes of wax falling off the man's lips and falling to the floor. The man grinned, staring at me. The ridges and gaps between the teeth were filled in with wax, making it impossible to make out where one tooth ended and the next one began. The man opened the door he was standing next to, but instead of walking out of the room, he stepped behind it. His face peered at me from above the door, and then once again, like he had done to drink the wax, the man puckered his lips, which stretched from his mouth and floated to me. I shook and tried to roll over away from him. I wanted to get up and run, but my fear had taken over my body. Tears flowed from my eyes. He kissed me on the cheek, leaving flakes of wax and light moisture. He retracted his lips and lowered his head behind the door.
I don't remember falling asleep, but when I woke up, I saw the empty glass jar, which at one point contained the candle. Even though I had hoped that what had happened was a dream, it wasn't. I still had flakes of wax on my cheek, and on my bedroom floor, the wax in the jar had disappeared. I called the police, but they were unable to find anyone in my apartment; they also could not find any evidence of a break-in.
After the break-in, I started looking for a new apartment to move to, thinking that the man was tied to the building I was in, but even though I had thrown out all of my candles, I could not stomach spending another hour in my apartment, constantly looking over my shoulder or walking around with my back pressed up against the wall to not allow it to creep up on me. Thankfully, my friend Emma was able to let me stay over at her apartment while I looked for a new one for myself.
Me and Emma have been friends since we were 8, and we've been there to support each other when times get rough. This isn’t the first time I've had to stay over at her house for an extended amount of time; in fact, I have had to stay over at Emma’s as many times as she has had to stay over at my apartment, whether it was because of evictions after losing a job, breakups, or a candle wax drinking squatter. I didn't even know if it was human. I mean, sure, it looked like one, but human lips are not supposed to do what his did, and somehow it didn't have a reaction to molten wax being poured down its esophagus. I didn't tell Emma about what happened—the details at least—I just told her that a man had broken into my house and was watching me sleep. The only people I told the truth to were my therapist and the cops, and all of them disregarded what I told them as my mind making things up after a traumatic event.
For a while, I believed what they said—I mean, why wouldn’t I?—but then I started seeing him again. For a few days, I thought it was my mind playing tricks on me again like it had done during the night of the incident. For split seconds out of the corner of my eye, I would see the outline of a tall, bloated figure. At first, they were hours apart, but after a while, it became constant. He was standing in each room I passed, in every single dark corner I glanced past, and then he spoke.
“FeeD MeEeee”
It stood in the kitchen, peering over from a small gap between the fridge and the sink, where the trash can that had been knocked over onto its side usually stood. His voice was raspy, and every word that came out of his mouth was distorted as if he were gargling water, but still, I could somehow clearly make out each word he said from over 15 feet away.
“Please just leave me alone I… why are you following me?”
I shouted at the figure, the same fear that had taken over my body during the night I saw him for the first time paralyzing me, making it impossible for me to move anything other than my eyes, eyelids, and mouth.
“i’M sTarviNg, I nEEd You To FeEd ME”
It replied again. Now, stepping out from behind the fridge, he stepped directly onto a rotten banana. Its mushy brown content’s seeping out of the peel under the pressure of his decomposing foot, which was covered in scabs, and took up the same grayish light blue color as the rest of his body. He mostly looked the same; his bloodshot eyes bulged from their sockets, but now his tongue was swollen. It peeked out from between his bloated, cracked gray lips; it stared at me, waiting for an answer.
“Ok, I’ll.. I’ll feed you, but please just... leave me alone.”
I replied, the tone of my voice shifting into high-pitched squeals with every quick breath I took. He looked satisfied by my response. He somehow squeezed his bloated body back into the gap that was at least four times smaller than him. After peering over at me from above the fridge, he bent over backwards, his spine releasing a series of sickening cracks until he was fully obscured by the fridge, and then he vanished.
Still barely in control of my body, I limped over to the couch tucked away in the back corner of the living room, it took me at least 10 minutes to steady my breathing and 20 more to fully regain control of my body again but as soon as I did I ran out the house and to the nearest store, during the 15-minute walk he stared at me through dark windows and the backs of cars, peered out at me from gaps between leaves in the trees and bushes, he even followed me into the store staring at me from the middle of deserted isles before disappearing right before my eyes were able to fully catch him, once I finally got the candles I randomly picked four off of the shelves and rushed to the self checkout.
When I arrived home, I had 2 hours before Emma got off work. I didn't want to feed it while she was home, and I didn't want her to see it. I pulled out two of the candles from the black plastic bag and placed them on the kitchen table, the first a light blue candle named “Garden Rain” and the second a red candle named “Juicy Watermelon." I pulled out a lighter from one of the drawers Emma used after her stove stopped lighting on its own and lit each of the 6 wicks on the candles. As soon as I started seeing the wax melt under the heat of the burning wicks, I dropped the lighter onto the table next to the candles and ran out of the room. I could not stomach seeing that thing again; even just thinking about it made me shudder and hyperventilate. The paralyzing fear that seeing him caused me made me want to vomit.
At least 30 minutes later I started to hear it drink even though the living room and kitchen were separated by a wall, even though I had closed the door I could still hear what at first started as slurping sounds which were followed up by loud gulps, then it stopped, and once again 30 minutes later it started drinking, as the slurping started once again I heard the door to the apartment crack open, it was Emma, as she stepped through the door I saw her carrying two large brown paper bags of groceries in her hands, she was headed to the kitchen.
“Hey let me grab those for you”
I said running over to her, my voice shaking.
“Oh, thanks. Are you… okay, you look scared?”
My eyes shot wide open in a mixture of fear and surprise. I said the first thing that came to mind.
“Yeah just umm… I didn't expect you to come home so early and I got a bit spooked”
“shit sorry, I know I should have called you, work let me off early today,”
I started to turn away from her walking to the kitchen.
Trying to keep her away from the kitchen I told her to wait for me in the living room because I wanted to talk to her about something. I didn't know what I would talk to her about but that was a problem for future me to resolve, somehow it worked.
“What's that sound?”
She called out to me while walking towards the living room couch. It took me a few seconds to come up with an excuse.
“I think it’s the sink, or the pipes at least”
I opened the door to the kitchen with my eyes closed at first hesitant to look knowing what would be greeting me. slowly prying my eyes open I started to see its outline, my muscles started to lose strength as the details of the man came into my view, I felt the grocery bags start to slip from my arms, my knees buckled, face first I fell onto the kitchen floor scattering the groceries all over the floor, I mixture of a light scream and a yelp escaped from my mouth as my body made contact with the floor, Emma concerned for my safety ran into the kitchen, she didn't scream, using all of the strength and mobility I had left in my muscles I rolled over expecting to see her face drenched in terror, her body frozen still unable to move just like my body had done the first time that I saw him, but Emma looked concerned, the man was gone, she crouched down beside me.
“Oh my god are you ok? What happened?”
I looked around observing my surroundings.
“I um… I… I tripped on the little thing at the bottom of the doorframe”
I finally managed to blurt out another excuse, not being able to remember what the name of a door sill was. I started to sit up using a part of the energy that had returned to my body, pain pulsed through my chest and arms, Emma looked at me with a concerned face.
“You've been acting really weird since I got home, are you sure you're ok?”
“Yeah… I think I’m just having one of those days you know”
The confusion on Emma’s face said that she didn’t know and to be honest I didn't either, I guess my luck of pulling random excuses out of my ass ran out, Emma thought that she triggered some sort of PTSD response after barging into the house unannounced at first apologizing then trying to change the subject to stop my trembling which I was still unsuccessfully trying to hide from her.
“Did you buy candles?”
Emma asked picking the groceries apart from the garbage that spilled out the can that the man had knocked over, placing them on the table next to the now half-empty glass jars, the flames flickered above the inch or so of molten wax the man was unable to finish drinking.
“Yeah I’ve been struggling with work lately, they usually help me focus”
“Huh Interesting combination you’ve got going on here”
She looked at me and smiled slightly, I smiled back and chuckled to seem normal.
“Yeah even I don't know what I was trying to accomplish here, to be honest”
I tried to help Emma clean up the spilled groceries but she did not let me, she told me that I needed to recover like I had been in a car crash instead of having taken a little tumble. After a few seconds of silence, Emma spoke again.
“Anyway, what did you want to talk to me about earlier?”
A quick jolt of stress shot through my body, in a jumbled mess of lies and fear I had forgotten what I had told Emma, I sat there in silence for a few seconds unable to come up with an excuse
“I…umm… I don’t remember, it wasn't anything serious though”
“Damn did you hit your head too?”
She said once again proudly smiling at her joke.
At this point Emma picked up the last bag of potato chips from the floor and placed it on the table, then she opened the fridge and started loading the groceries into it.
“Anyway I gotta go get back to work’’
I blurted out after a few more seconds of awkward silence.
“Alright well good luck”
I walked over into the living room and sat down in front of my workstation, which now consisted of a laptop sitting on a small foldable TV tray that had just barely enough room left on it to fit a small USB mouse.
The last thing I remember, before I fell asleep, was me mindlessly scrolling through apartment listings while Emma watched a random 90’s horror movie I’m positive only had a budget of $500.
I woke up with a light stinging pain shooting through my dry throat, and a dim hissing sound caused by thousands of water drops striking the ground outside filled the room. I pressed the spacebar on my laptop, the brightness of the screen blinding me temporarily, after taking a few seconds to let my eyes readjust I managed to make out the time, 3:45 AM. A strong smell I was unable to make out the origin of assaulted my nostrils. Lavender.
The smell hitting my nose had the same effect on me that I would expect smelling salts would have on a weightlifter right before they set a world record. Before I knew it my legs were moving on their own at an almost uncontrollable pace, fighting back against my mind which was telling them to slow down after years of being used to navigating both mine and Emma’s apartment as steadily as possible to not bother the neighbors.
Finally, after what felt like an eternity I stood before Emma’s bedroom door, a faint, yellow, pulsating light radiated from a lamp and snuck out of a small gap between the door and the doorframe, reluctantly I pushed my left hand up against the door, my right hand grasping onto the door frame for a sense of stability, once the door was fully agape I scanned the inside of the room my heart skipping a beat for every humanoid shadow cast up onto the wall by the lights from the wicks which were set ablaze and were being slowly burnt away.
I walked into Emma’s room and made my way over to her bedside table to put out the candle, as I stepped closer towards her, her face became more defined, I could finally make out her features, she was awake, but no she could not have been, even though her eyes were wide open they never blinked, she didn't even move slightly, as I moved closer I finally managed to fully make out the expression of pure terror on her face, her mouth wide agape as if she was about to release a deafening screach, but she could not have, a single drop of solidified wax dribbled out of the corner of her mouth and clung to her cheek, my eyes traced the cream colored path back towards her mouth, first up her cheek then between the corner of her mouth and finally behind her teeth, there instead of her tongue or the roof of her mouth I saw a wall of wax which had filled in the entirety of her mouth.
I fell to my knees and hunched forward supporting my body weight with my arms, I was too late, I resisted the urge to vomit and got back up onto my feet, a mixture of tears and snot slid down my face and onto my lips, shaking now I slowly started limping over towards my phone which I had left on the couch next to where I had awoken just minutes before, just minutes before my life was destroyed because of my lies if I had just told Emma what I had gone through, if I had just told her what had happened on the night of the incident which now seemed trivial, even if she thought that I was crazy, I know that she would have complied just to make me feel comfortable.
It took me at least 30 seconds of repeated attempts to stabilize my hands enough to properly dial 911. “Someone broke into my apartment and hurt my friend” was the only reasonable explanation I could come up with that would not get the operator to hang up on me thinking that this was a prank call.
I sat there in the living room for an agonizing 10 minutes, crying, my sadness slowly transformed into anger towards myself, and my mind raced thinking of all the lies I’d told, I kept thinking that if I had just told her the truth she would not have been laying there in her bed, her body bloated, “every single orifice has signs of forced penetration and has been filled with what seems to be candle wax” is what was written on her autopsy report.
For a few days I was the main suspect in Emma’s murder, but due to the almost unstoppable crying and the unresponsive state that I was in when the police arrived, mixed with the lack of evidence of me having a way to produce 30 pounds of candle wax led to me being released out of police custody, but because I was the main suspect I was not told any details about what had fully happened to Emma, for days all I had to work off of was the image of her face frozen in terror, and a short glance I caught of her bloated body as she was being carted out on a stretcher.
I recounted every single word of our last conversations over and over again until they became permanently etched into my brain.
Emma’s parents originally wanted to cremate her, as that is what she had somewhat jokingly asked for whenever the topic of funerals came up, well she had joked about wanting to have had unpopped popcorn shoved down her throat before she was sent off to “scare the shit out of the guy cremating me” but due to all the wax which would have been impossible to get out of her body they were forced to bury her.
A few days before Emma’s funeral her body disappeared.
After Emma’s death, her parents took me into their home, after reading the autopsy reports and seeing her corpse they had thrown out every single candle they owned which made their home the safest choice I had, still, this did not stop me from buying a machete and keeping it under my bed, just in case.
I was laying on the bed in their guest bedroom The day that the police informed Emma’s parents about her disappearance, the bedroom is right above the front porch of the house, at first I heard them ring the doorbell which was followed up by 3 powerful knocks on the door, for about a minute I laid there on the bed listening to muffled voices exchanging distorted words I was barely able to make out which slowly transformed into distorted weeps, curious I lifted myself up from the bed, made my way over to the window and carefully lifted the bottom panel making Shure to not make too much noise, the distorted muffled sounds started forming into coherent words “We checked the security footage but the only strange thing we could see was a 5 second time jump” one of the officers spoke in a serious and almost monotone voice “which meant that the security guard who was the only person in the building had to climb down 2 flights of stairs walk through a 40 foot long hallway and then drag her body back up stairs and out of the building in 5 seconds” Emma’s mom let out yelp “ but don’t worry ma'am that’s actually good news because we know that her corpse is still somewhere within the building and was probably brought to the wrong floor by an intern, we’ve already warned all of the staff at the hospital to keep an eye out, and we also sent 5 officers to search the hospital”
I could not believe what I was hearing, my breathing quickened, but this time instead of fear I felt anger, that fucker stole her corpse and was probably in the weird separate plane of existence he always went back to after terrorizing me, cutting off chunks of her body, melting her, and drinking her.
I closed the window Emma’s mom's cries once again turned into a muffled rumble which was only possible to make out if you knew what to look for, I took a few steps back away from the window planning to lay back down, not wanting to bother Emma’s parents. I bumped into something, not something, someone, its fleshy towering form as solid as a wall sent me tumbling forward, I knew it was him, he had returned to take me too, to stretch his swollen cracked lips, push them down my esophagus, fill my lungs and stomach with wax. But despite all of that this time I was not scared, I was angry, and I was not going to stand there in terror like I had the last time I saw him.
I fell forward onto my knees my face missing the window sill just by mere inches, I put my hands onto the floor, lifted one of my knees, and rotated 180 degrees now facing the monster, to the right of him pushed up against the wall was the bed, light from the sun reflected off of the metallic button which kept my machete in it’s sheathe, the man started to stretch his lips, they were moving towards me, waving a wiggling through the air like a snake slithering towards me.
I dove towards the bed one of my feet pushing off of the floor and the other pushing against the wall which creaked under the pressure applied to it, I flew for a few moments before slamming down onto the carpet and sliding forward, the heat generated by my skin brushing against the carpet released a sharp stinging pain throughout my body, my outstretched arm landed just a few inches short of the machete, I quickly bent my arms, pushing my body up and crawled towards the machete. my fingers wrapped around the handle I spun around, my back pushed up against the bedside table, once again facing the man, he was still facing the window but his lips faced me and were just a few feet away from me, for what felt like minutes but was most likely no longer than a second, I struggled to hook my finger under the strap securing the machete into its sheath, as the lips inched towards me the man started producing gurgling noises, he was regurgitation wax.
I finally pulled the machete out of its sheath, I swung the blade at the man's lips, the blade was not met with any resistance as it sliced through the man’s lips which landed on the carpeted floor with an audible thud, the man did not have a physical reaction to my counter-attack, his lips kept creeping towards me, once again I slashed at the lips, still no reaction, I repeated this at least 3 more times.
I wanted to kill him, I wanted to take revenge for what he had done to Emma, but fighting back was pointless. I realized that no matter how much I tried to hurt it, I could not kill him, I could not get rid of him.
My rage dissipated and a mixture of fear and sadness crept in, and soon took over my body, I screamed for help, I screamed in fear, in agony, tears streamed down my face as the man's lips finally reached my face, he wasn’t met with any resistance as his lips snuck between mine, pried my jaw open and finally started to slide down my esophagus.
I heard the cops run up the stairs, they started banging on the door asking if I was okay only to have been met with muffled screams, hot wax started to pour down inside of me, the stinging pain of the heat made me want to plunge the machete which I had dropped onto the ground next to me into my stomach to create a gaping wound that the wax would hopefully funnel out of, the texture of the man's slippery, oily lips matched with the poison like flavor of the wax caused me to start gagging, I felt my insides bulging like at any moment my intestines would have been filled to the point where they would pop, I wanted to vomit, the drain myself of the filth I was filled with, but his lips had plugged my throat not allowing anything to get out.
Hearing my muffled screams the cops started kicking the door down, the man retracted his lips, the suction aided my attempts at cleansing my insides, I got onto my hands and knees streams of molten wax pouring out of me, solidifying on the the carpet, with another loud thud the door swung open slamming into the wall, the man was gone.
That’s the last thing I remember before I passed out, but according to one of the doctors who was in the ambulance that brought me to the hospital, I was still semi-responsive during the first 10 minutes of the ride to the hospital.
Approximately 13.4 pounds of wax were removed from my body, the doctors said that I was in a critical condition and some of them did not expect me to make it.
One of the officers who was there the day the man attacked me took a report of what had happened to me, due to the unmistakable evidence of what had happened to both me and Emma, and the fact that this was the 3rd instance of me reporting something like this the police finally started investigating who this man might have been.
Around a month later I was discharged from the hospital and once again have been staying in the living room of Emma’s parent's house.
I’ve been seeing the man again, candles were not allowed in the hospital I stayed at, which means that he’s probably very hungry, he’s close to attacking me again, I know it, he wants to finish what he started and I don't know if I have the power to fight back, I’m not sure if defeating him is even possible, I’m tired.
I’ve been seeing Emma too, her bloated, reanimated corpse often appears to be standing next to the man. If I let him take me will I get to join them? I’ve tried asking but they don’t answer, they just stare, I can’t keep living in constant fear, always looking over my shoulder, I miss Emma.

The Last Faith is what you get when you combine the tone and allure of Bloodborne mixed with the flowing combat and sheer coolness of Castlevania: Symphony of the Night. Theres also a sprinkle of Blasphemous in there, for some reason. It's also a game that isn't quite sure if it wants to be a souls-like and near-copy of Bloodborne or just a simple metroidvania. In two sentences i've probably confused you. Good, now we're both on the same page. This is The Last Faith.
The Last Faith puts you in the shoes of Eryk. Eryk is a swell guy. He cares for everyone, questions little, never says a mean word and goes out of his way to help out hapless NPC's as well literal monsters. While everyone around him is content to compliment him on his combat prowess, Eryk thinks he's just a dude. Does that sound like the main character of a game that's basically 2D Bloodborne? It's a mismatch for the tone of the game and while it wasn't enough to take me out of the experience, I couldn't help but feel he belongs in another game. Animal Crossing: New Horizons, maybe? He'd make a killing on the stalk market.

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"2Blood, 2 Blasphemous"

He's also afflicted with... something. And oh boy, when that something finally reveals itself it.. oh wait it doesn't ever fully reveal itself. This game's version of "souls" is called "Nycrux." Sigh. Can we just call them souls, please? For the love of the moon presence we don't need cute names for the currency with every souls-like. In typical souls-like fashion though the Nycrux is also what our character is afflicted by. I think. What does it do? No clue! Did I even pay attention to the story?! Dude I tried. I really did. The notes and item descriptions did little to help me piece together the story, unlike FromSoftware games. It's utterly non-sensical.
Speaking of potions and ammo, this game is VERY similar to Bloodborne. Unlike Elden Ring or the Souls series, you have health potions that do not refill upon death. You have to find them in the world or buy them. Just like Bloodborne. The same goes for ammo. This wasn't an issue. The game throws so many health potions at you and they're so cheap to buy I had nearly 200 at the end. Which begs the question, why even do this? Because Bloodborne did it? There's little tension in death when I have 15 heals and know I can easily go get 50 more in a matter of minutes.
Combat is standard fare but feels quite good. Let's take a look at some super cool bullet points!

• You have a light attack and you are also able up charge up that attack which I did precisely 6 times and never again because it's utterly useless.
• Each weapon also has a unique (or somewhat unique) weapon art. In addition you have whats called a Stigma and this allows you to use various abilities such as a shield, parry or something else I found to be rarely helpful which is thebeast mode.
• Combat revolves around rolling, attacking and learning enemy patterns. Parries and block's don't factor in as much here but they absolutely can if you are dedicated to pulling them off. And they feel great!
• My play-style started as your standard strength build and then morphed into a mage who used a big ass scythe. So like a DEX/INT build. Very grim, very reaper.
• The spells themselves are varied and quite cool and are good for helping you to get in close. The game also features guns. I used them to varying degrees but they all worked well and while I never felt like I NEEDED to use them, I had fun with them nonetheless.
• Like any souls-like, you can level up your character (STR, DEX, INT, etc) as well as your weapon. Each weapon will scale depending on what stats you invest in and the game is VERY generous with its scaling.
• Weapon requirements exist and I cannot for the life of me figure out why. You can wield any weapon or spell in the game regardless if you have the stats or not and the only penalty is a slight decrease in damage.
• Your roll has I-frames. And sometimes it doesn't. It was frustrating be able to doge into a projectile and come out unscathed and then I try it again with a different move and get hit.
• Bosses varied wildly in difficulty. Some where extremely easy while the last few bosses has me questioning my sanity. Very few were inspired, but they all felt right at home in the world.

Now lets talk about how this is as a metroidvania. Every area in the game features a myriad of locked doors, hidden alcoves and plenty of spikes to insta-kill you. There's a plethora of platforming segments and none of them are particularly difficult. You won't find the punishing difficulty of Aeterna Noctis or the intricate and rage inducing, but satisfying platforming of Blasphemous. Instead it's primarily ability based. You'll find quite a bit of fun to be had in gaining abilities and marrying the light platform sections with learning enemy patterns.
The mood and atmosphere in the game are absolutely superb, but the environments don't reflect this as well as they could have. You have your standard ice area and swamp area, but for the most part it's just houses and caves. For me, the pacing of when you get abilities varied wildly. Being a metroidvania, there are a number of zones to choose from and some you can miss entirely. Depending on your path you may find the game doles out abilities far too slowly and it just feels like you're not progressing.
I didn't even get one of the coolest abilities until right before the end because I just happened to miss a tiny path barely viable on the map that led to an entire zone. Because of course it did. When you play a metroidvania, these are the things you accept going in and it's what makes these games special. I do wish the game would have had a more set progression path for your abilities, however.
All in all, I enjoyed my time with The Last Faith. Part of me feels this would have been better off as just a metroidvania or Castlevania-like, but it does combat and movement well and has a top notch atmosphere. I recommend The Last Faith.
Some random things that didn't fit in the main body of the review.

• When you die to a boss, your "Nycrux" spawns right there with you at the checkpoint. I greatly appreciate that. Boss corpse runs are the WORST. But also kind of fun if i'm being honest.
• Status effects in this game are utterly useless against bosses, as I only got one status effect to proc on a boss ONE time in the entire game.
• A massive issue I have with this game is this insane input delay after you roll or dash. I cut the section on it as this is already too long but it nearly ruined some boss fights for me. You have to HOPE you are already perfectly positioned when a boss does a big AOE and if not, oh well. That input delay isnt letting you get out of the way in time.
• Hope you like Monster Closets, because very frequently this game will lock you in a room with a gauntlet of spawning enemies and wont let you leave until they're dead.
• The Game has 3 endings and some pretty cool hidden bosses. One of which was the best fight in the game and isn't too hidden. The game leads you to it quite well, actually!

I'm starting a one-year postgraduate conversion degree in September and I have a very unique opportunity I'd like some advice about. Basically, I'm eligible under a government scheme for a bursary payment worth €5,000 that I can use towards anything that would benefit my education/training/career.
My tuition fees are already taken care of, so I'm looking to use the bursary towards a new laptop, industry certs, courses, or anything else that could be remotely useful for complementing my studies and breaking into the tech industry, particularly on the software development side of things.
I've been told that I can claim for an unlimited number of items up to a total value of €5,000, so I want to claim the maximum amount possible to use the full value of the bursary. Even if it takes years for me to get through all the material, that's fine (as long as there's not a strict time limit on completion after payment).
I'd really appreciate any recommendations on how best to use this bursary.