Fake percocet 30s

I'm trying to stick to the facts as much as possible because my boyfriend and I have different opinions of the course of events / the intent behind the actions. If you have any questions for specifics ... feel free to ask.
My boyfriend (we're gay) and I have been together for about 16 months. We're both in our early 30s. We're both each other's first relationship.
We met on a hookup app. At the time he told me he wanted something more than a hookup. I told him I viewed myself as "not the relationship type," but agreed to try.
From the start we agreed that we were monogamous, cheating was a red line, that talking to other people was fine, but physically touching someone is cheating.
For most of the relationship, I thought we had a great time, we were totally into each other, we don't really argue, ever, and I would always tell him, I feel like we're in an endless honeymoon phase.
He moved in with me approximately at the start of Q4 2023.
One day last year he came home and wanted to show me something on his phone. He opened up his browser, and he was on Sniffies. If you don't know what Sniffies is, well it's a hookup app, but unlike things like Tinder or Grindr which are quite frankly much tamer, on Sniffies, you can, for starters, use explicit photos as your profile photo. Everyone on there is looking for sex, period.
He panicked, I told him it was no big deal, and he tried to reassure me multiple times that it was an old tab that had been open for ages.
I really didn't think much of it at the time, and just chalked it up to him being bored. I'd previously told him that I thought Grindr was pretty useful to figure out if someone was gay, and I'd open it sometimes in social situations just to sleuth.
Months later, curiosity got the best of me, and I opened up Sniffies when he went to his mother's house. And there he was. A profile, with his bare ass as the photo, at his mother's home. The photo didn't really make sense to me because you don't need to fill out your profile just to browse, but still I thought he was just bored, because after all he was at his mother's house, and surely he isn't going to hookup while he's there.
A few weeks of opening up Sniffies every few days when he was out and I realized that it was a pattern. He would even get on Sniffies when he was home alone and I was out ... I recognized our bed sheets in one of the photos. So I panicked a bit, and secretly went to the ER, got checked out (negative for everything), and got on PrEP (we don't use condoms). I really don't like to accuse anyone of anything without concrete proof, so I just kept it to myself.
Two weeks ago, on a Friday, I was at work and a friend sent me a screenshot of him on Grindr. "Isn't this your boyfriend?" I felt a little embarrassed. The photo was recent, the profile said he was 28, and the description was "Send your pics. Be Direct. Adult Men. NSA"
I told my boyfriend I had to work late (not all that atypical for me) and I'd probably be home after midnight. I made my way back to the town we live in, and went to a nearby bar, just barely a block from home. It's around 11pm at night, I set up a fake profile on Grindr, "Blake," with fake photos, and started chatting him up. We exchanged photos (explicit), talked about the sexual things we wanted to do to each other, talked about poppers, condom usage, exchanged fake names, and ultimately agreed to meet up not too far from home. So I sat at the bar, at almost midnight looking out a window, and sure enough he walked right past the bar on his way to meet "Blake." I always thought I'd feel angry finding out I was being cheated on, but I can only describe feeling sick. Nauseous. Devastated?
I waited about two minutes so he'd be far away enough, and then I left the bar, turned the other way and went home. I continued the conversation on Grindr, cancelled on him because "My roommates came back earlier than I expected," he was angry, "Are you serious right now???," "I knew it was too good to be true," and then I offered to reschedule and he said (I don't remember the exact words) that he wasn't feeling me anymore after wasting his time.
I jumped in the shower, and took a very long hot shower, trying to process. He walked in about 5 minutes after I got out of the shower, visibly shaking, surprised to see me home. He said he had gone out for a walk, I played dumb, and occupied myself with something else. He said he was going to lay down. He eventually came out of our bedroom, seemed to have calmed down, and I continued to play dumb.
I have this longtime rule where I won't discuss something with someone while I'm angry with them (although not angry in this case) so I took the weekend to process, and Monday in the middle of the work day, I texted him a screenshot of the Grindr profile, said someone sent it to me and we needed to talk. He laughed it off, said it was no big deal, he was on there looking to close his account, at one point made a joke about the inaccurate age, "28? I wish babe." I didn't reply, and he tried to call me 3 times. I told him I was busy, to calm down, and we'd talk about it when we both got home.
I told him that we should break up. He started crying. Told me he loved me. I told him I love him too but I don't trust him. Told him about being on PrEP and that constantly worrying about my health is no way to live. He kept repeating that he "never cheated on me." We discussed it for the next...5 days. On day one I only told him about the screenshot and that I'd seen him on the apps, and about my ER visit. He kept telling me that he loved me, would never do anything to jeopardize our relationship, and that he never cheated on me. Neither of us mentioned "Blake." But I did keep telling him that he's "still lying." I think it was day two or three I told him about "Blake." He was angry at me, and said I "trapped" him, and that "Blake" isn't real so he didn't cheat on me.
I told him I think he has doubts about our relationship, clearly wants something else or is looking for something else, and that I was setting him free to go find whatever it is he's looking for. I told him he would be doing a disservice to himself and to me to remain in this relationship while he's clearly unhappy. He said he was happy and has no doubts. I told him we're only going to get older. We argued some more about it, and while we're both in the bedroom, he jumped on Grindr, and started chatting up people about what we were going through, looking for opinions, telling them "he didn't cheat." Then he started trying to meet up with someone attempting to make me jealous. (I don't get jealous easily.) He was reading his conversations out loud, trying to show them to me, and show me photos. One person showed interest, so he started getting ready to go out, I told him to have fun, and he left the bedroom all dressed up, and went into the living room. I fell asleep for a bit, but then woke up and went in the living room to see if he had left. He hadn't. Said the guy he was talking to ghosted and blocked him. I told him it's because he was acting crazy and it's translating through text. I went back to bed, he came in not long after, jumped on top of me, got naked, tried to seduce me, we struggled and I resisted for about 2 minutes, then gave up and just lay there and stared at him while he had his way with me.
Almost two weeks later. We're still discussing it. To summarize, I've told him I want to end the relationship, but I don't hate him, we can remain friends, roommates for now, I'll still help him find a new job (it's something we were working on before all of this). He thinks I'm being unreasonable, "unfair," "unjust," that I "trapped him," and I'm throwing away our relationship "after we had an amazing year," and that he "never cheated on me." He said he's willing to fight for us, I told him "I don't need another project right now." He still calls me his boyfriend and is basically refusing to accept that I want to break up.
Throughout the almost two weeks of discussing this with him, he's given endless changing reasons about why he went to meet up with "Blake":

• He's seen Blake's photo before, knew Blake was a catfish and wanted to "catch" him. (To which I said, no one does that. If anything, if you think someone is a catfish you stay away from them because meeting them could be unsafe.)
  
• He was bored.
  
• He needed to get off and porn wasn't doing it for him.
  
• We don't have enough sex. (Which really took me by surprise because the week before this we had had sex 5 days in a row. And on one of those days, 3 times in the same day.)
  
• Blake wasn't/isn't real and therefore this isn't a big deal.
  
• I'm throwing away our relationship on an "if." He's never cheated on me.
  
• At one point he watched a video on TikTok of some woman saying that if your man accuses you of cheating, it's because he's cheating, and then he started accusing me of cheating. (TikTok experts aside, by his this logic, does that mean that now that he's accusing ME of cheating, that HE is cheating?)
  
• At another point I told him that my mistake in all of this was not hiring an actor to play Blake, so that he couldn't gaslight me. He said that he didn't intend to do anything with Blake, and if he went there and saw Blake he would've turned around. 🤷‍♂️
  
• I pointed out that in general, he's a very jealous individual, and that if the roles were reversed, he would not be handling this well AT ALL. He agreed to that point.
  

He told one of his friends about all of this, and according to him they told him he "fucked up."
I asked him if he would tell his mother about why we're breaking up and he said "No, she would slap me."
I asked him if he tried to rob a jewelry store, and found on arrival that there were no jewels, would the police let him go because he didn't ACTUALLY rob the jewelry store, or would he go to prison? He said it's a bad example.
I asked him if his mother was seeing a man, who shot a gun at her, but missed, would he be okay with him being around her because he only TRIED to murder her, he didn't actually murder her? He said it's not the same.
He said we should get more opinions (I suspect I know what they'll be), so here I am posting this story.
What do y'all make of this mess?

I'm trying to stick to the facts as much as possible because my boyfriend and I have different opinions of the course of events / the intent behind the actions. If you have any questions for specifics ... feel free to ask.
My boyfriend (we're gay) and I have been together for about 16 months. We're both in our early 30s. We're both each other's first relationship.
We met on a hookup app. At the time he told me he wanted something more than a hookup. I told him I viewed myself as "not the relationship type," but agreed to try.
From the start we agreed that we were monogamous, cheating was a red line, that talking to other people was fine, but physically touching someone is cheating.
For most of the relationship, I thought we had a great time, we were totally into each other, we don't really argue, ever, and I would always tell him, I feel like we're in an endless honeymoon phase.
He moved in with me approximately at the start of Q4 2023.
One day last year he came home and wanted to show me something on his phone. He opened up his browser, and he was on Sniffies. If you don't know what Sniffies is, well it's a hookup app, but unlike things like Tinder or Grindr which are quite frankly much tamer, on Sniffies, you can, for starters, use explicit photos as your profile photo. Everyone on there is looking for sex, period.
He panicked, I told him it was no big deal, and he tried to reassure me multiple times that it was an old tab that had been open for ages.
I really didn't think much of it at the time, and just chalked it up to him being bored. I'd previously told him that I thought Grindr was pretty useful to figure out if someone was gay, and I'd open it sometimes in social situations just to sleuth.
Months later, curiosity got the best of me, and I opened up Sniffies when he went to his mother's house. And there he was. A profile, with his bare ass as the photo, at his mother's home. The photo didn't really make sense to me because you don't need to fill out your profile just to browse, but still I thought he was just bored, because after all he was at his mother's house, and surely he isn't going to hookup while he's there.
A few weeks of opening up Sniffies every few days when he was out and I realized that it was a pattern. He would even get on Sniffies when he was home alone and I was out ... I recognized our bed sheets in one of the photos. So I panicked a bit, and secretly went to the ER, got checked out (negative for everything), and got on PrEP (we don't use condoms). I really don't like to accuse anyone of anything without concrete proof, so I just kept it to myself.
Two weeks ago, on a Friday, I was at work and a friend sent me a screenshot of him on Grindr. "Isn't this your boyfriend?" I felt a little embarrassed. The photo was recent, the profile said he was 28, and the description was "Send your pics. Be Direct. Adult Men. NSA"
I told my boyfriend I had to work late (not all that atypical for me) and I'd probably be home after midnight. I made my way back to the town we live in, and went to a nearby bar, just barely a block from home. It's around 11pm at night, I set up a fake profile on Grindr, "Blake," with fake photos, and started chatting him up. We exchanged photos (explicit), talked about the sexual things we wanted to do to each other, talked about poppers, condom usage, exchanged fake names, and ultimately agreed to meet up not too far from home. So I sat at the bar, at almost midnight looking out a window, and sure enough he walked right past the bar on his way to meet "Blake." I always thought I'd feel angry finding out I was being cheated on, but I can only describe feeling sick. Nauseous. Devastated?
I waited about two minutes so he'd be far away enough, and then I left the bar, turned the other way and went home. I continued the conversation on Grindr, cancelled on him because "My roommates came back earlier than I expected," he was angry, "Are you serious right now???," "I knew it was too good to be true," and then I offered to reschedule and he said (I don't remember the exact words) that he wasn't feeling me anymore after wasting his time.
I jumped in the shower, and took a very long hot shower, trying to process. He walked in about 5 minutes after I got out of the shower, visibly shaking, surprised to see me home. He said he had gone out for a walk, I played dumb, and occupied myself with something else. He said he was going to lay down. He eventually came out of our bedroom, seemed to have calmed down, and I continued to play dumb.
I have this longtime rule where I won't discuss something with someone while I'm angry with them (although not angry in this case) so I took the weekend to process, and Monday in the middle of the work day, I texted him a screenshot of the Grindr profile, said someone sent it to me and we needed to talk. He laughed it off, said it was no big deal, he was on there looking to close his account, at one point made a joke about the inaccurate age, "28? I wish babe." I didn't reply, and he tried to call me 3 times. I told him I was busy, to calm down, and we'd talk about it when we both got home.
I told him that we should break up. He started crying. Told me he loved me. I told him I love him too but I don't trust him. Told him about being on PrEP and that constantly worrying about my health is no way to live. He kept repeating that he "never cheated on me." We discussed it for the next...5 days. On day one I only told him about the screenshot and that I'd seen him on the apps, and about my ER visit. He kept telling me that he loved me, would never do anything to jeopardize our relationship, and that he never cheated on me. Neither of us mentioned "Blake." But I did keep telling him that he's "still lying." I think it was day two or three I told him about "Blake." He was angry at me, and said I "trapped" him, and that "Blake" isn't real so he didn't cheat on me.
I told him I think he has doubts about our relationship, clearly wants something else or is looking for something else, and that I was setting him free to go find whatever it is he's looking for. I told him he would be doing a disservice to himself and to me to remain in this relationship while he's clearly unhappy. He said he was happy and has no doubts. I told him we're only going to get older. We argued some more about it, and while we're both in the bedroom, he jumped on Grindr, and started chatting up people about what we were going through, looking for opinions, telling them "he didn't cheat." Then he started trying to meet up with someone attempting to make me jealous. (I don't get jealous easily.) He was reading his conversations out loud, trying to show them to me, and show me photos. One person showed interest, so he started getting ready to go out, I told him to have fun, and he left the bedroom all dressed up, and went into the living room. I fell asleep for a bit, but then woke up and went in the living room to see if he had left. He hadn't. Said the guy he was talking to ghosted and blocked him. I told him it's because he was acting crazy and it's translating through text. I went back to bed, he came in not long after, jumped on top of me, got naked, tried to seduce me, we struggled and I resisted for about 2 minutes, then gave up and just lay there and stared at him while he had his way with me.
Almost two weeks later. We're still discussing it. To summarize, I've told him I want to end the relationship, but I don't hate him, we can remain friends, roommates for now, I'll still help him find a new job (it's something we were working on before all of this). He thinks I'm being unreasonable, "unfair," "unjust," that I "trapped him," and I'm throwing away our relationship "after we had an amazing year," and that he "never cheated on me." He said he's willing to fight for us, I told him "I don't need another project right now." He still calls me his boyfriend and is basically refusing to accept that I want to break up.
Throughout the almost two weeks of discussing this with him, he's given endless changing reasons about why he went to meet up with "Blake":

• He's seen Blake's photo before, knew Blake was a catfish and wanted to "catch" him. (To which I said, no one does that. If anything, if you think someone is a catfish you stay away from them because meeting them could be unsafe.)
  
• He was bored.
  
• He needed to get off and porn wasn't doing it for him.
  
• We don't have enough sex. (Which really took me by surprise because the week before this we had had sex 5 days in a row. And on one of those days, 3 times in the same day.)
  
• Blake wasn't/isn't real and therefore this isn't a big deal.
  
• I'm throwing away our relationship on an "if." He's never cheated on me.
  
• At one point he watched a video on TikTok of some woman saying that if your man accuses you of cheating, it's because he's cheating, and then he started accusing me of cheating. (TikTok experts aside, by his this logic, does that mean that now that he's accusing ME of cheating, that HE is cheating?)
  
• At another point I told him that my mistake in all of this was not hiring an actor to play Blake, so that he couldn't gaslight me. He said that he didn't intend to do anything with Blake, and if he went there and saw Blake he would've turned around. 🤷‍♂️
  
• I pointed out that in general, he's a very jealous individual, and that if the roles were reversed, he would not be handling this well AT ALL. He agreed to that point.
  

He told one of his friends about all of this, and according to him they told him he "fucked up."
I asked him if he would tell his mother about why we're breaking up and he said "No, she would slap me."
I asked him if he tried to rob a jewelry store, and found on arrival that there were no jewels, would the police let him go because he didn't ACTUALLY rob the jewelry store, or would he go to prison? He said it's a bad example.
I asked him if his mother was seeing a man, who shot a gun at her, but missed, would he be okay with him being around her because he only TRIED to murder her, he didn't actually murder her? He said it's not the same.
He said we should get more opinions (I suspect I know what they'll be), so here I am posting this story.
What do y'all make of this mess?
UPDATE:
He made an account, but this sub doesn't allow commenting from accounts less than 3 days old (greenbandit918)

Hi there, this is OP’s boyfriend in question. For starters this was a mutual agreement in to posting this story to get opinions on our situation.
As he has written all the above let me make it very clear that I did not have any physical contact with anyone else prior, during and after this happened. He has been the only one i have intimate with.
He persists in saying that in me “attempting” is cheating when nothing was going to happened because I knew i was being catfished/trapped. Many years before meeting my my boyfriend I had been on the apps and had previously spoken to someone using the same picture and location. He created an fake profile, fake picture. This meeting was set to happen in a public space I must add. For safety reasons, I would never be willing to meet a stranger in any other way. If this “Blake” person did end up making an appearance, I would have bolted my ass back home.
I accept that it’s my mistake in doing such act but I did it to prove a point to myself that the apps are sketchy and untrustworthy. I don’t know how the younger gay men able to experience this. I had not been on the apps since our relationship began. Stupid to say but it was out of pure boredom at times when I was alone. I have apologized for lying. Yes I was “caught” in a sense as any rational person would lie rather than tell the truth. But him knowing that he was the one I was talking to took me by surprise. I was told of this 3 days later, rather than confronting me about it in the moment.
I need to clear this because I’m most likely been portrayed as an actual cheater in this story than actual being one.
I will be taking questions and advice. I clearly want to save my relationship but my partner is in this not needing “projects” to work on.

I'm trying to stick to the facts as much as possible because my boyfriend and I have different opinions of the course of events / the intent behind the actions. If you have any questions for specifics ... feel free to ask.
My boyfriend (we're gay) and I have been together for about 16 months. We're both in our early 30s. We're both each other's first relationship.
We met on a hookup app. At the time he told me he wanted something more than a hookup. I told him I viewed myself as "not the relationship type," but agreed to try.
From the start we agreed that we were monogamous, cheating was a red line, that talking to other people was fine, but physically touching someone is cheating.
For most of the relationship, I thought we had a great time, we were totally into each other, we don't really argue, ever, and I would always tell him, I feel like we're in an endless honeymoon phase.
He moved in with me approximately at the start of Q4 2023.
One day last year he came home and wanted to show me something on his phone. He opened up his browser, and he was on Sniffies. If you don't know what Sniffies is, well it's a hookup app, but unlike things like Tinder or Grindr which are quite frankly much tamer, on Sniffies, you can, for starters, use explicit photos as your profile photo. Everyone on there is looking for sex, period.
He panicked, I told him it was no big deal, and he tried to reassure me multiple times that it was an old tab that had been open for ages.
I really didn't think much of it at the time, and just chalked it up to him being bored. I'd previously told him that I thought Grindr was pretty useful to figure out if someone was gay, and I'd open it sometimes in social situations just to sleuth.
Months later, curiosity got the best of me, and I opened up Sniffies when he went to his mother's house. And there he was. A profile, with his bare ass as the photo, at his mother's home. The photo didn't really make sense to me because you don't need to fill out your profile just to browse, but still I thought he was just bored, because after all he was at his mother's house, and surely he isn't going to hookup while he's there.
A few weeks of opening up Sniffies every few days when he was out and I realized that it was a pattern. He would even get on Sniffies when he was home alone and I was out ... I recognized our bed sheets in one of the photos. So I panicked a bit, and secretly went to the ER, got checked out (negative for everything), and got on PrEP (we don't use condoms). I really don't like to accuse anyone of anything without concrete proof, so I just kept it to myself.
Two weeks ago, on a Friday, I was at work and a friend sent me a screenshot of him on Grindr. "Isn't this your boyfriend?" I felt a little embarrassed. The photo was recent, the profile said he was 28, and the description was "Send your pics. Be Direct. Adult Men. NSA"
I told my boyfriend I had to work late (not all that atypical for me) and I'd probably be home after midnight. I made my way back to the town we live in, and went to a nearby bar, just barely a block from home. It's around 11pm at night, I set up a fake profile on Grindr, "Blake," with fake photos, and started chatting him up. We exchanged photos (explicit), talked about the sexual things we wanted to do to each other, talked about poppers, condom usage, exchanged fake names, and ultimately agreed to meet up not too far from home. So I sat at the bar, at almost midnight looking out a window, and sure enough he walked right past the bar on his way to meet "Blake." I always thought I'd feel angry finding out I was being cheated on, but I can only describe feeling sick. Nauseous. Devastated?
I waited about two minutes so he'd be far away enough, and then I left the bar, turned the other way and went home. I continued the conversation on Grindr, cancelled on him because "My roommates came back earlier than I expected," he was angry, "Are you serious right now???," "I knew it was too good to be true," and then I offered to reschedule and he said (I don't remember the exact words) that he wasn't feeling me anymore after wasting his time.
I jumped in the shower, and took a very long hot shower, trying to process. He walked in about 5 minutes after I got out of the shower, visibly shaking, surprised to see me home. He said he had gone out for a walk, I played dumb, and occupied myself with something else. He said he was going to lay down. He eventually came out of our bedroom, seemed to have calmed down, and I continued to play dumb.
I have this longtime rule where I won't discuss something with someone while I'm angry with them (although not angry in this case) so I took the weekend to process, and Monday in the middle of the work day, I texted him a screenshot of the Grindr profile, said someone sent it to me and we needed to talk. He laughed it off, said it was no big deal, he was on there looking to close his account, at one point made a joke about the inaccurate age, "28? I wish babe." I didn't reply, and he tried to call me 3 times. I told him I was busy, to calm down, and we'd talk about it when we both got home.
I told him that we should break up. He started crying. Told me he loved me. I told him I love him too but I don't trust him. Told him about being on PrEP and that constantly worrying about my health is no way to live. He kept repeating that he "never cheated on me." We discussed it for the next...5 days. On day one I only told him about the screenshot and that I'd seen him on the apps, and about my ER visit. He kept telling me that he loved me, would never do anything to jeopardize our relationship, and that he never cheated on me. Neither of us mentioned "Blake." But I did keep telling him that he's "still lying." I think it was day two or three I told him about "Blake." He was angry at me, and said I "trapped" him, and that "Blake" isn't real so he didn't cheat on me.
I told him I think he has doubts about our relationship, clearly wants something else or is looking for something else, and that I was setting him free to go find whatever it is he's looking for. I told him he would be doing a disservice to himself and to me to remain in this relationship while he's clearly unhappy. He said he was happy and has no doubts. I told him we're only going to get older. We argued some more about it, and while we're both in the bedroom, he jumped on Grindr, and started chatting up people about what we were going through, looking for opinions, telling them "he didn't cheat." Then he started trying to meet up with someone attempting to make me jealous. (I don't get jealous easily.) He was reading his conversations out loud, trying to show them to me, and show me photos. One person showed interest, so he started getting ready to go out, I told him to have fun, and he left the bedroom all dressed up, and went into the living room. I fell asleep for a bit, but then woke up and went in the living room to see if he had left. He hadn't. Said the guy he was talking to ghosted and blocked him. I told him it's because he was acting crazy and it's translating through text. I went back to bed, he came in not long after, jumped on top of me, got naked, tried to seduce me, we struggled and I resisted for about 2 minutes, then gave up and just lay there and stared at him while he had his way with me.
Almost two weeks later. We're still discussing it. To summarize, I've told him I want to end the relationship, but I don't hate him, we can remain friends, roommates for now, I'll still help him find a new job (it's something we were working on before all of this). He thinks I'm being unreasonable, "unfair," "unjust," that I "trapped him," and I'm throwing away our relationship "after we had an amazing year," and that he "never cheated on me." He said he's willing to fight for us, I told him "I don't need another project right now." He still calls me his boyfriend and is basically refusing to accept that I want to break up.
Throughout the almost two weeks of discussing this with him, he's given endless changing reasons about why he went to meet up with "Blake":

• He's seen Blake's photo before, knew Blake was a catfish and wanted to "catch" him. (To which I said, no one does that. If anything, if you think someone is a catfish you stay away from them because meeting them could be unsafe.)
  
• He was bored.
  
• He needed to get off and porn wasn't doing it for him.
  
• We don't have enough sex. (Which really took me by surprise because the week before this we had had sex 5 days in a row. And on one of those days, 3 times in the same day.)
  
• Blake wasn't/isn't real and therefore this isn't a big deal.
  
• I'm throwing away our relationship on an "if." He's never cheated on me.
  
• At one point he watched a video on TikTok of some woman saying that if your man accuses you of cheating, it's because he's cheating, and then he started accusing me of cheating. (TikTok experts aside, by his this logic, does that mean that now that he's accusing ME of cheating, that HE is cheating?)
  
• At another point I told him that my mistake in all of this was not hiring an actor to play Blake, so that he couldn't gaslight me. He said that he didn't intend to do anything with Blake, and if he went there and saw Blake he would've turned around. 🤷‍♂️
  
• I pointed out that in general, he's a very jealous individual, and that if the roles were reversed, he would not be handling this well AT ALL. He agreed to that point.
  

He told one of his friends about all of this, and according to him they told him he "fucked up."
I asked him if he would tell his mother about why we're breaking up and he said "No, she would slap me."
I asked him if he tried to rob a jewelry store, and found on arrival that there were no jewels, would the police let him go because he didn't ACTUALLY rob the jewelry store, or would he go to prison? He said it's a bad example.
I asked him if his mother was seeing a man, who shot a gun at her, but missed, would he be okay with him being around her because he only TRIED to murder her, he didn't actually murder her? He said it's not the same.
He said we should get more opinions, so here I am posting this story.
What do y'all make of this mess?

Hi! Kinda scared to post this but i’m genuinely worried. So technically this isn’t about me but i have been heavily involved in this situation for over 2 years and its just gotten crazier. So my “bonus” mom (40sF) is a teacher and she has a habit of taking kids under her wing that really need it (myself for example.) She loves all of her students but some really connect with her and that is the situation with these two brothers and i’ll call them Alvin (16M) and Jake (14M.) She met them when they were both in middle school and now one of them is a sophomore and the other is in 8th grade. These boys have been a HUGE part of our lives for what feels like forever but it’s only been about 2 and a half years. They are extremely close to not only the bonus mom but also her actual kids and me. They’ve gone on vacation with us multiple times, they come over constantly and sometimes stay the night, she takes them to school and brings them back everyday, pays for sooo much of their things, she’s the reason they are in extra curriculars at school, and just basically treats them now as if they were her own kids. She is also always very respectful to their actual mom Madison (late 30sF) and she is a single mom that works constantly and has 3 children. The 2 boys and a 4 year old. Madison can be great sometimes but she has a big history of not always doing good things. For example she goes out drinking almost every weekend and comes back drunk and then alvin and jake have to take care of her. she does drugs in the house. She also screams (i don’t throw around scream lightly, i mean that) at them constantly for doing the littlest of things (example: leaving a ball outside that the toddler played with.) There’s been lots of situations that haven’t been great beyond that as well. But recently there have been two very alarming situations that are making her question if she should actually get involved way more than she is. 1st thing: She recently has gotten a boyfriend that is around the boys a lot. His kid goes to school with them and as far as the boys know is a fairly good guy. Recently however we have found out this: (this is directly from where we found it) “He has a history of certain activities relating to material constituting or containing child pornography and knowingly possesses or knowingly accesses with intent to view.) yeah. So obviously this is very alarming and we are not sure if the mother of the kids even knows this either but telling her could make her extremely upset or would make her do something about it. Since we have found this out he is still around these kids and recently just went to the 4 year olds birthday. 2nd thing: One day Jake left a few dishes in the sink because the dishwasher was full. Madison got home and started berating Jake and telling him horrible things and Jake started to yell back as well which made it worse. Currently the only thing I know for sure she said was “I want you to leave and never come back.” Alvin said it is the worst it has ever been and it really really upset both of them. The 4 year old boy also heard all of this. Alvin was also supposed to go over to the bonus mom’s house that day but said “I don’t want to leave him alone with her right now.” Also, to add, these kids have tried to tell their mom’s sister and their grandparents and all they did was go right back to Madison and tell her everything they said questioning both them and Madison. And that just resulted in more screaming. So, their mom when she is in a right state of mind i think truly cares about her kids and loves them. But with her being a borderline alcoholic, flying off the handle all the time and all of the things listed above, she is damaging her kids immensely and it is taking a toll on them. Hearing them talk about these situations is heartbreaking and we have all cried just trying to understand. With all this being said, bonus mom has no idea what to do. She is truly afraid of overstepping but will do that if it will help these boys. She is also afraid of what their mom will do to either them or her. So, advice on what to do moving forward?
(all names are fake)

I’m an engineer at top contractor company. I’m new to the area (1 year here) still and barely have friends apart from those spread out across the state.
I’ve noticed that my team of 10 folks have bonded a lot and do activities outside of work on weekends and holidays. Especially, my manager with other coworkers. I live near the majority of them and I am the same age as most of them. Late 20s-Early 30s.
I barely get invited by my manager to do stuff outside of work. I am aware he texts and talks regularly to other coworkers to make plans and talk about it the following week in the office.
At first, I thought it was my fault because I am very vocal about doing things right at work, prideful on making quality products, and being less sloppy. My manager has never worked on the role I was hired for and acts very relaxed or care free on a lot of the stuff if it’s not something he is extremely sensitive or familiar with.
Then, I thought it was my ADHD traits and behavior at work. But that never has caused me problems at other jobs or other places where I left with Good standings with the higher managers.
Often, I thought it was my interests not aligning with others. I’m a geek, love video games, model kits, movies, board games and other stuff differently from the general hobbies of my entire team like sports, golf and working out. However, I love traveling, happy hours, any kind social activities that my team and manager do. Apart from all that, I’m more active than ever since I am working out each day, lost a ton a weight and to do outside activities as much I can now. Hell, I participate on my own on stuff, that even manager enjoys talks about having more people do it with but I barely get anywhere near the same interest on sparkling a conversation about it with him.
I’ve been very strict in my beliefs that I shouldn’t suck up to any boss or anyone else at work. I already tried it a few times in my earlier years and I eventually ended hating feeling fake to who I am or like I was hiding my personality. There are people at my team that I know for fact they do and whether they do it willingly or unwillingly. They generally have better interactions with my manager.
I already lost a role (not a promotion just a more challenging role) that I expressed high interest due to my past involvement on that project to another coworker who had no interest in taking on. I feel like this lack of interactions with others and my manager is going to affect me negatively. The industry is changing a lot of companies like my own have announced a lot of layoffs. It stresses me to think that I will be axed at any moment not because of my work ethic or I perform my job but rather just that I am not an “key” player to the social work dynamic.
Makes me wonder why I was hired in the first place if one my interviews was all about team integration. Feels weird and feels bad cause my longevity is based on being the sole person doing that task are totally tied to my role and nobody else’s.
Would like some feedback from you all.

My dad passed away two weeks ago. It was unexpected. He was my last parent remaining as mom died a few years ago. I was close with both of them and I became even closer to dad after Mom passed. I miss them both so much. Losing both parents in my 30s feels devastating in ways I can't describe.
I have been off work for over two weeks and I need to go back to work tomorrow. I wish I could take more time off but I need the money while we go through probate process which is another form of stress. I have no idea how I am going to get through the day. I feel like crying all the time. I can't focus. I'm so exhausted from everything. I do one chore a day and feel like I need to lay down. I did it once before when my mom died but this time, with them both gone, work feels meaningless and I have no motivation or brain power to even do my job. I feel like I'm going to have to fake my way through it real hard.
Any tips for coping? How did you get through the work day? What did you do after your first day back to feel better?

Hello, I am a korean living in Korea.
I'm not into kpop idols, so this sub is unfamiliar to me. (I usually read posts from movies or legueoflegends.)
You can see that this issue is really big considering the fact that I decided to post here even though I'm not a kpop fan, right?
You guys seem to already have a macroscopic understanding of why korean public opinion on this issue has changed significantly.
But of course, the atmosphere here is still very different from Korea.
I would like to analyze korean public opinion in more detail after the press conference.
I want to translate a lot of information, but my English is not good enough to translate that many legal terms and business terms, so this post will focus on public opinion in Korea and if I really need to translate those terms, I will use a translator, so there may be some wrong words.
​
0. Popularity of Newjeans
Before I start explaining in earnest, you need to know the popularity of newjeans in Korea.
Since many idols invest in developing hardcore fans or international fans, koreans like me only know a small number of groups.
I was really surprised to see the news that Straykids exceeded Bigbang's youtube subscribers.
Because it's the first time I've heard the name Straykids.
What I want to say is that successful kpop idols are often not on the radar of the general public in Korea.
However, Newjeans is different. The popularity of newjeans in Korea is not enough to simply describe it as 'many.'
The popularity of Newjeans is 'wide.' which means they are loved by many korean general public.
I like hype boy and ditto a lot, as many koreans do. (But I hate super shy.)
Especially after ditto, the age of New Jeans fans was extended to the early 40s. (this is important)
That's why this issue is attracting attention from the general public who are not very interested in kpop idols.
​
1. Discrimination against newjeans; and Bang Sihyuk
People think that the expression that newjeans was not properly promoted by hybe is an exaggeration
but People generally agree that Le sserafim and illit, produced by BSH, are hybe's biological daughters and Newjeans are adopted daughters.
This discrimination is believed to have resulted from Bang Si-hyuk's inferiority complex.
Even before this issue, BSH was already in very bad reputation due to Le sserafim and illit's bad live performance.
After MHJ's press conference, BSH's image is
'loser boss who is jealous of his subordinate's achievements' and 'scumbag boss who copies the results of his subordinates.'
This appealed to corporate workers in their 20s and 30s who had similar experiences with that kind of boss.
There are a lot of people who like MHJ and quite a few people who don't like MHJ
but BSH seems to be hated by almost everyone.
People are saying that BTS, not Bang Sihyuk, founded hybe, and BSH is being accused of being an incapable producer who luckily met BTS.
​
2. Copy of illit
People generally agree that illit copied newjeans, but
Criticism still remains that MHJ is very arrogant.
Kpop fans think it's rude to directly mention another group like that.
​
3. Attempt to take over management rights
Half of the people seem to support MHJ's claim that 18% winning 80% is impossible in the first place
The other half withhold judgment or believe that MHJ was plotting something specific and stinky
Are they on Hybe's side? No.
In the opinion of most legal experts in Korea, evidence currently available in the media can never prove MHJ guilty
and there should be new evidence.
Even if new evidence comes out, it is said that if she proves that it is an act for the benefit of Ador and newjeans, there is no room for guilt.
In the worst case for hybe, the police quickly make a 'no charges' decision, so they may not even be able to go to court.
Even if it goes to court, it takes time to decide.
​
So, Someone believes that conclusive evidence exists but has not been released to the media
Someone believes that since there is no conclusive evidence Hybe tried to pressure MHJ with media play to make her resign herself.
And people are saying it was a very stupid strategy if it was true.
​
4. Media play
It is the most important factor.
Hybe made brutal media plays using BTS, Riize, privat messages, shamen
and it worked.
Public opinion of MHJ was abysmal before the press conference. She was an evil witch.
But this became MHJ's most powerful weapon.
​
I only lived in Korea, so I don't know if this is a unique feature of korean companies or universal thing around the world
In korean companies, when they want to get rid of non-compliant employees, they find out all the flaws in that person, manipulate informations, humiliate that person, and make them quit their jobs on their own.
MHJ created the image that she was the victim of the ills of such korean company culture.
A workaholic woman who gets jealous and hate from old men who play golf and go drinking.(they say it's business.)
Young corporate workers in their 20s and 30s in Korea had no choice but to feel sympathy for MHJ.
People began to feel tremendous resistance to the heinous cruelty of Hybe's media play
and began to doubt all the information that had been in the media.
All articles that begin with 'According to the remarks of an anonymous hybe official' were ignored.
The large media play done by Hybe was mostly incapacitated by MHJ's two-hour press conference.
I think the situation would have been different if Hybe had less media play.
​
Hybe realized that too much media play was a mistake
Now, There is no article that begins with 'According to the remarks of an anonymous hybe official'.
Hybe now has to rely on official statements that have to use understatement.
​
5. Slave contract
After MHJ's press conference, the Korea Economic Daily reported that the contract between Hybe and MHJ was very unreasonable for MHJ
Hybe disputed the issue on April 26 with official statement number 8.
However, the Korea Economic Daily published a rebuttal article again that day.
So far, there is no answer from Hybe.
​
What surprised people was that the article in the Korea Economic Daily was very logical and the fact that the Korea Economic Daily was a pro-coglomerate media company.(they think Hybe is not coglomerate lol)
People believe that Hybe and MHJ's contract is unreasonable for MHJ.
However, there are many opinions that MHJ, who signed such a contract in the first place, is stupid.
​
6. CEO Park Jiwon
CEO of Hybe. He is former CEO of Nexon, the Korean giant game company.
He is very much criticized by individual investors for wasting 1 trillion won with stupid media play.
They are saying that no matter how this ends, he should resign.
​
Korean game industry workers say that the problems of Hybe and kpop that mhj said at the press conference are exactly the same as those of the korean game industry
they think Park Jiwon is ruining kpop industry just like the way he ruins the game industry.
Some of the general public still hate MHJ, but almost 100% of the game industry workers feel sympathy for MHJ
Those who have seen this phenomenon think that Park Jiwon may be a bigger problem than BSH and MHJ.
​
7. Cult, sajaegi rumors of BigHit/Hybe
I didn't think it was related to this issue, so I tried not to cover this topic, but there is an interesting point in public opinion, so I will cover it.
This conspiracy theory was emerged from a catfight between boy group fandom on DC Inside, Korea's most toxic community.
At other times, this would have ended with their own conspiracy theories, but eventually it spread to other communities, and things got bigger.
Some stupid people were instigated by this and believed it.
An interesting point is that people who noticed that this was a childish conspiracy theory enjoyed the situation without actively refuting, 'This is a conspiracy theory. It's fake news.'
They just enjoyed the situation, saying Hybe is getting karma for the media play.
It shows that there is a great reluctance to Hybe in Korea. People are enjoying Hybe's plight.
+The sajeagi(사재기) issue seems to have the potential for things to get bigger. We have to wait and see.
​
​
​
My thoughts on what's going to happen next
​
MHJ will refuse to convene Ador shareholders meeting on Tuesday, and hybe will ask the court to force it to hold a shareholders' meeting. It will probably take about two months(legal expert opinion) before the court decides to convene a shareholders' meeting, so MHJ will be able to work until Newjeans' Tokyo Dome concert. If Hybe interferes with MHJ's work in any form until she is fired, the public opinion can become 'Hybe harassing Newjeans', so Hybe has no choice but to act very carefully. (Since this issue happened just before the newjeans comeback, there are already many opinions that 'Hybe harassing Newjeans'.) Newjeans members are still seen as having close relationship with MHJ, so their separation two months later may cause sympathy for them and hatred for Hybe.
​
Hybe has no guarantee that they will prove MHJ's guilt in court, but even if they do, it seems that they will not be able to recover their lost reputation. Ceo Park Jiwon is incompetent, Bang Sihyuk is obsessed with inferiority, Le sserafim is so bad at singing even though they are treated as first daughters, and illit is treated like fake newjeans by public. These do not recover just because MHJ is convicted. They have been running the company too stupid and have handled this issue too stupid. But this company will not be doomed. YG survived the Burning Sun scandal because they have Blackpink. Hybe's boy groups will save Hybe.
​
Public opinion on MHJ is 'a crazy and talented and arrogant workaholic woman with many personality flaws but only newjeans in her head.' If she is later convicted of breach of duty or anything, public opinion could turn to a worse side, but since she is not a celebrity, it seems easy to get a job at another company. (It seems impossible to get a job in a company with many old men.)
​
The hardest thing for me to predict is newjeans. They and their parents seem to be on the MHJ side, but I don't think they're going to risk leaving Hybe. It's impossible to predict how they'll work with Hybe for the next five years. What I can say at the moment is that the korean general public still adore and love them. However, there is a risk that the love of the general public can turn into hate at any time. Le sserafim's case is representative. They were a group that had been loved by the general public, not as much as newjeans, and are currently hated so much because of their bad live performances and BSH. If they had only had hardcore fans, there would have been no such hatred. the general public's love is like a double-edged sword. Newjeans should be aware that they are in a very fragile state and act carefully.
​
If you have any questions about what is happening in Korea, please leave them in the comments.
You are free to refute my opinion

I am in my early 30s and very inexpereinced when it comes to relationships. I had only one other relationship in past.
I broke up with my ex 6 months ago (so not so recently) and it was the first time I brokeup with someone. I met my ex at grad school through some mutual friends. We started dating last summer and for most part our relationship was long distance as my ex was doing an internship in a different city. After she came back, we started spending time IRL and I realized we didn't have any future together. I was putting in more effort in the relationship than her - like calling her or texting her every time, planning all dates, paying for every date, cooking for her when she craved things we couldn't gat outside. I tried to share some things that I thought we could work on but my ex was not ready to make any changes. I lost any physical attraction I had remaining for her after one date where she yelled at me for some small reason. (I have PTSD due to a very verbally abusive grandmother, I can not take loud voices, I was stressed for days after that. The stress might have caused me to lose libido) Sex was a non-negotiable for her and I couldn't bring myself to 'fake it till you make it' so I decided to break-up with her. She claims it was unexpected for her and the reasons I broke up with her were not major and could have been resolved (I know.. I tried to work on them with her but it was a firm no from her side for some of the things and she ignored the other things)
We maintained cordial relationship after our breakup for rest of the semester. And by maintained I mean I called her every week to check-in on her and we talked for half hour or so every time. During the winter break, we both went to see our families and I didn't call her for a month or so. I saw her in a class after the break and called her that night. She told me she had developed many many health complications because of the things that happened during fall semester alluding to our breakup being a major reason. She also shared she doubts if she will ever be in a relationship, I tried to reassure her that she will find someone who is better suited for her.
But now she has been bringing her health issues up every time we are studying in a group (it's with a group of 5 other people including 2 of our mutual friends) and from what she has shared they are getting worse each passing day. I haven't commented on it after the first time she shared it with me on phone (actually none of our peers have said anything about it while we are studying together, if they have been discussing it 1-1 idk) But it's making me feel extremely guilty about breaking up with her so much so that I can not look into her eyes.
On one hand, I know getting back into the relationship with her will not be a good idea but I also care about her and don't want her to suffer like this. And also I have the same fear she has (and many on this sub) about ever finding other relationship. Anyway, since I am soo new to this I really don't know how to process this feeling and could use some suggestions.. thank you!

I'm a 16-year-old girl and I went to the aquarium. 2 things happen there. I have 6 sticking pokes. 3 on my arms 2 on my stomach and 1 on my leg. A teacher asked me about them and I say "oh there stick and pokes" I showed her the ones on my arms and that was it. We were talking about Las Vegas and I asked one of my teachers "Can we take a field trip to Las Vegas?" He looks at me and said "oh so you can gamb". I said "yes I have a fake I. D." If you look at this and thought it was a joke congratulations you're smarter than every single adult in this scenario.
So I get called down to the office Where there were 2 counselors. Ms.f and Ms.k were talking to me and yelling at me because if you are going to yell at me I'm going to yell at you back I don't care who you are or who you think you are I don't care if you are the president of the United States. And "then they ask me, do you have a fake ID?" I said "Yes, I joked about it". Before I could even finish, she runs out to get the officer. So I gently grab her because I don't want that to happen. Am I saying what I did was right absolutely, not. She purposely made herself fall backwards and it was super obvious. She then told the officer that I push her. I said I didn't do that and threaten to arrest me. I said what happened. I'll getting yelled at by 3 adults in their mid to late 30s. Then I get asked about my stick and pokes. They had the audacity, to tell me that oh, that's dangerous. And it's like every single one of those adults had tatto. I refuse to apologize in less there was a another teacher in the room with us. She doesn't want that because she said it doesn't make the apology genuine. I don't know what to do.

So about 6 or 7 years ago I had this GF. She was two years older than me. The relationship lasted a little over a year. We lived together for about 9 months.
In the end, the relationship was ended by me. We parted on good terms (in my opinion), and stayed in touch for about 6 months after. We even had sex once or twice after the breakup.
After that we went our separate ways and completely lost contact.
On my way home from work a few days ago, I decided to stop somewhere for dinner and a couple of beers. Guess who I saw when I walked in?…Yep, she was sitting there by herself, drinking wine and working on her laptop.
I could have turned around and left, since she didn’t see me. I also could have approached her and said hello. But I really felt indifferent about seeing her, so I just took a seat at the bar and figured who cares.
After a few minutes I heard my name being called. I turned around and pretended I was surprised to see her. She started to get up, so I walked over to her table and said hello. I was hoping it would be a brief conversation, then I’d go back to the bar.
We started off with basic questions to catch up. Then it became obvious that she wanted to keep talking. It was also obvious that she was on at least her second glass of wine. Although she definitely wasn’t drunk. Against my better judgement, I sat down at her table. I ended up sitting there for about 30 minutes.
It turns out that our lives have gone in very different directions since we last spoke. In short, I’ve been married for a few years and have a young son. She on the other hand has spent her time hopping from one failed relationship to another. And knowing her, I’m sure she’s had plenty of hookups in between. She’s currently single and childless in her mid 30s. Which, to be completely honest, is pretty much where I thought she’d end up when we parted ways.
As the conversation went on, it became more and more personal. Particularly on her part. I’m not gonna lie, it was a little heart warming that she felt so comfortable sharing such personal information with me, despite over 5 years of no contact. As far as I was concerned, she was ancient history. And for all practical purposes, a virtual stranger.
Eventually she told me that she had been in therapy to try to understand why she never had a successful relationship. She said that one suggestion her therapist had made was to consider reaching out to past boyfriends, and asking them to be candid about exactly what it was like for them to date her. (Can you guess where this is going?)
She told me that she tried that with a few guys, but only one responded. She said he just gave her a superficial reply, that wasn’t really helpful. Then she asked me if I would be willing to do that.
I told her that I didn’t know if that was a good idea. She persisted, so I reluctantly agreed.
She asked me what made me think that she wasn’t the one for me. She knew that finding a wife and starting a family was something I planned on doing.
I made one last attempt to put a stop to this. I said: “Look, I can answer that, but I’m afraid that you’ll get upset if I’m completely honest”.
She told me not to worry about that. She said that she could take it, and that it would mean soooo much to her if I would help her by doing this. Especially since no one else was willing to.
I told her that I found a lot of her behavior to be negative. But the things that stood out the most were her past promiscuity (she had slept with a lot of men before me). Plus the fact that she had sex with another man AFTER we had started having sex (we never talked about exclusivity, but to me that didn’t matter). And finally, I mentioned an incident towards the end of our relationship, that was the last straw.
To keep it short, she told me one evening that she didn’t want to have sex with me, because she was angry over something I had done. Shortly after that we started mutually fooling around, until we ended up having 100% CONSENSUAL sex. Then, as soon as I finished, she burst into hysterical tears and ran from the couch to the bedroom, screaming that I violated her because “I knew she didn’t really want to have sex”.
She was very taken aback by what I told her. She said “so every problem that you had with me was about sex”? That caught me completely off guard. I thought for a moment and said “to be honest, I never really looked at it that way before”. Then I said no, every problem wasn’t about sex. But my three biggest problems were. To her credit, she didn’t lose her temper or act up in any way. But it was starting to look like this conversation was heading in that direction.
She calmly said that it was not right that I judged her for her past. And I had no right to expect exclusivity when neither of us had ever mentioned it. And that she was right to say that I violated her.
I thought that was a very rude and inappropriate response, since the whole premise of this conversation topic was that I was doing HER a favor by being completely honest, and helping her potentially gain new insight into why she couldn’t find happiness with a good man. But instead, she basically told me that nothing she did was wrong, and that everything I thought was invalid.
I figured that if she wants to play tit-for-tat, I can do that too.
I said: “Look, you asked me for the truth and I gave it to you. I told you it was probably a bad idea”.
Then I told her that using a woman’s sexual past to judge her as a suitable wife is something that I’ve always done. I said It’s actually the first piece of advice that I give to any young man who asks.
Next I told her that I expect exclusivity to be a given, that doesn’t need to be explicitly spelled out, once I start having sex with someone.
Finally I said “when you accused me of violating you, my first thought was that I would likely be facing a fake rape accusation, at some point in my future, if I decided to stay with you.” I told her that it was all too much for me to accept. So that’s why I ended things.
She sat back and struggled to keep her composure. But it was obvious to anyone watching that something was wrong. She apologized and said that if she had any idea I was going to say things like that, she never would have asked.
I apologized back and told her that I probably should have said it differently. But my apology was not sincere. The truth is that when I broke up with her, I gave her vague reasons like “it’s just not working out” and “we’re really not compatible”. At the time, I thought it would be cruel to tell her how I really felt. Plus I didn’t want our breakup conversation to turn into an explosive argument. Which it definitely would have if I had been honest with her.
It almost felt therapeutic to finally tell her the truth after 5 years of never communicating those thoughts to anyone.
The next thing you know the waitress was walking over and asking her if she’s ok. That attracted the attention of a few people sitting close to us. She said yes and the waitress walked off.
She tried to compose herself, then told me that I just used her as a roommate and a sex object.
I told her I was sorry that she sees it that way. I said that despite our differences, I still look back at out relationship with pleasant memories. And that I’m sorry she doesn’t feel the same. Then I tried to excuse myself, but she kept talking.
She said “I hope you treat your wife better than you treated me”. That pissed me off, and I decided that I wasn’t putting up with this shit. I said “my wife’s opinion of how I treat her is definitely a lot higher than your opinion of how I treated you”.
At that point, it felt like the clock had turned back, and we were right in the middle of one of our typical old arguments.
She shot back with “one day you’ll get what you deserve”. At this point, I decided that it was time to drop the hammer. I laughed in a very condescending way as I slowly stood up. Then I said “I think it’s pretty obvious that we’ve both already gotten exactly what we deserve”.
Then I turned around and walked straight to the bar, paid my bill and left. I wish I could say that I heard her sobbing in the background, but I think she was more enraged than sad at that point. I should probably be thankful that no glassware was hurled at me once I turned my back and walked away.
And no, I never ended up eating anything.

OP is u/Runawaybrother
ORIGINAL (Nov 01, 2021)
UPDATE 1 (Nov 02, 2021)
UPDATE 2 (Nov 06, 2021)
UPDATE 3 (Dec 22, 2021)
I have 2 older brothers, this is about the middle one. Our parents divorced when I was very young due to our Mother’s insane jealousy. At first my Dad was able to handle it but when she started making comments about me wanting to be like his wife he had enough. She quickly rebounded with a guy with 2 kids and had shared custody for a while. But when my Dad got remarried she went crazy, calling his new wife every horrible name and claiming he was cheating on her while they were married. I was always closer to my brothers and Dad than my Mom because she was always very mean to me. Long story short, my Stepmom died in a bad car accident and my Dad called her in the middle of the night letting her know he would pick us up earlier so we could attend the funeral and she decided to take us on a fun trip to “celebrate“ something. It was the happiest we've ever seen her and when we realized what happened and started crying she told us only worthless people cry for wh***s.
Needless to say, things went nuclear and my Dad asked for full custody with visitation for her. He always left the line of communication open and paid for us to visit her when she moved away but it was still very bad and as soon as we turned 18 we started to lower contact with her. Last time we saw her was on my HS graduation where she made a point of letting everyone who would hear we were ungrateful kids and her HB would call us bad names too, been NC since then.
My brother Sam started dating his Ex 3 years ago, she has heard all the stories and the reasons we are NC but she believes we are just dramatic. They had many issues due to her opinions but she eventually seemed to drop the “you need to reconcile with your Mother“ crusade. During the wedding planning there was no indication of things going wrong or fishy, then we got to the church and lo and behold Mom, HB and 2 kids were sitting at front. I immediately panicked and called my brothers. Sam thought maybe somehow she found out and wanted to crash so he called his Ex to let her know of the potential drama but she told him it was fine since she invited them, Sam hung up and asked me to go get him while oldest brother dealt with things at the church. We went home and barricaded ourselves there even when his Ex, her family, friends, etc came to try and "make sense with him". Mom’s HB even called and said he always knew we were worthless. Now that the dust has settled most of Sam's friends are on his side and so is most of our family (Dad's).
Ex's parents already threatened to sue for the money they paid if he doesn't marry her but Sam says he rathers pay them back for their contribution than marry someone that betrayed him. My nuclear family 100% supports Sam but the backlash has been huge.
Edit: You guys just reassured us all, thank you.
Some have commented about it but no, she has not apologized, she even went so far as to text my oldest brother "Joe" that she thought it would be a good wedding present from my brother to her since she values family. My Dad bought them a house as a wedding present but only Sam is on the deed, she did have keys for when they moved there but they just had the locks changed today and Joe and some cousins are taking everything Sam owns from her flat during this week. We aren't worried about being sued but will consult a lawyer just in case.
We also heard Mom and her family are still in town but since we are all staying at our childhood home for a few days we don't care. My Dad is sad that Sam is heartbroken but is trying to cheer him up along with my boyfriend and my SIL. I had to delete/deactivate my SM because I kept getting nasty comments and messages but the more people learn the reason Sam runaway, the less it gets. I am still sorry she felt humiliated, but my brother comes first.
Edit 2:
We are 34, 32, and 28. ExSIL is 30. Not in the US.
I asked Joe about the church aftermath and it was just as I expected it. He says he stood up in front of everybody and told them Sam was not coming and to please go home and all their gifts delivered to our side of the family will be given back asap. The Ex was still outside the church when someone in her family informed her and she started screaming and crying and calling Sam nonstop. Mom tried to talk to joe that didn’t even look at her and when she couldn’t get a reaction out of him she started crying loudly and lamenting how horrible we are to her and some people started consoling her, this is her m.o. but Joe and his wife didn’t care. When they went out of the church the Ex was expecting them and demanding to see Sam but Joe said no, then she demanded to know what to do with the party and he said if she didn’t want the venue he would arrange for the food to be donated to the staff there so it wouldn’t go to waste. Everybody was screaming except Joe because he didn’t want to give Mom the satisfaction.
They (Joe+SIL) came home after stopping at the supermarket and some fast food joints and we have been inside like we are kids again, plus 2 more members. We asked Sam if he wanted them to go but he said he wanted them there. We had all taken time off to spend family time after the wedding anyway so it’s not a problem at the moment. When the Ex came to the gate we knew she was not going to use the venue so my SIL called them with Sam’s info, told them to take the food, and also sent them some tips for their trouble. It seems we will get back all the alcohol, that my Dad paid for, so we will have a very drunk end of the year.
A couple of people messaged me asking why did our Dad ever marry our Mom and the answer is he really loved her and believed she was the nicest person ever. Turns out she wasn’t but she knew nobody, except I guess her nasty husband, would marry her unless she pretended to be nice. He considered staying with her until we were adults but she kept getting worse, she used to get very nice and he thought she was changing and then she would change again. As per my ExSIL, we have no doubt that she believes Mom is a nice person that has ungrateful children because she is extremely charming and for some people is funny to make fun of others as long as it’s not directed at them but it still doesn’t excuse Ex.
The only person Sam gave an explanation was his boss who was at the church but he is very understanding and was pretty shocked of what Mom put us through since we are fairly adjusted happy people. Our Dad said that it was a shock for all of us and we can stay home as long as we need, Sam is moving home for the time being. I showed my family the post and they are moved by your niceness but Sam wants you all to KNOW Ex wasn’t showing any concerning behaviors and he truly believed she understood his upbringing.
He agreed to talk to her and her parents today but only if it’s at our home and we are there to support him so it’s going to be an interesting visit.
UPDATE 1
First some extra info:
*Sam lost some money but it’s not going to hurt him. Her parents paid for her dress, a very fancy cake, and part of the honeymoon.
*Ex wasn’t the most beloved in-law but we truly believed she loved Sam.
*We have no contact with Mom’s side, Joe used to have some with Grandma but after his wedding (another shit show avoided) he cut her off too.
*Mom’s comments about me wanting to be the wife came from her belief that it was not right for us to have Daddy-daughter days or outings, the thing is there were also Daddy-Joe days and Daddy-Sam days. He always tried to spend time with us alone and as a group. She is just sick.
*We don’t advertise our childhood so when people ask us about our parents the standard answer is “Just my Dad“or “it’s just my siblings and my Dad“. Most people assume Mom is dead and it helps avoid the whole inquiry about not talking to her.
*Mom’s stepkids are both male and in their early 30s.
*Dad has a long-term girlfriend and we like her a lot, she has been doing her own stuff these past few days but she says we have her full support.
Now the update.
I was wondering why Sam accepted the meeting after not even talking to her but turns out she sent videos and photos of all his things on the floor to his best friend “Tom“ and told him that Sam either talk to her or she would burn/destroy it all. Tom came to visit Sam, told him what happened and they informed her they need access to the flat before anything happens. Tom, Joe, a couple of cousins, and my BF went and took his clothes, electronics, important paperwork. Sam said he didn’t care about the rest and even made a little joke about them being the fastest moving crew he knew.
The meeting was, for lack of a better word, a ridiculous event. She came with her parents and sisters, tried to talk to Sam alone but when he didn’t allow it she just started talking. Not ONCE did she apologize, she said it’s not her fault we don’t understand the value of a real family and we were raised to hate mothers. That her only intention was for Sam to learn to value mothers because she was scared he would take her children away from her because that is what he was taught to do. Sam didn’t say anything until she threw the “this family is like a cult and you are a terrible father“ looking at my Dad.
As you may imagine, this is a sore spot for all of us and we don’t allow insults towards our Dad under any circumstance. Sam just unloaded about how she was a hateful liar, he was disgusted he ever touched even her hand, he was grateful to the universe that I am chronically early to everything, he told her staying with a cheating husband as her Mom does is nothing to be proud about, he said she pretended to be nice just so he would marry her, unloaded all the minor things that he was willing to overlook because he truly did love her or at least who he thought she was, he said he would never forgive her for the hurt she caused his siblings but he doesn’t hate her because that would require him to spend energy thinking about her and she doesn’t get that, at the end he said she had enough time to clear things and since she has acted like a victim he will be the one to let everybody know why he didn’t show. It was brutal but cathartic and necessary for Sam, her parents said nothing but were very red. She was crying.
Her sisters attempted to defend her and their parents‘ relationship and were kind of expecting my whole family to argue too but we didn’t. Then Sam told his ExFIL he could sue if he wanted but if he did Sam would expose all his family’s dirty laundry to the world and he doubts he wants that. Amazingly, the Dad still argued Sam could try and make amends and marry his Ex because “they are not getting any younger“ and all families fight, I’ve never rolled my eyes harder. The rest of the meeting went about logistics for the return of the wedding gifts already received, stopping the harassment from their family, the cancellation and refund of the honeymoon, the changing of the locks. Ex just kept crying and trying to talk to Sam but he was in business mode and didn’t want anything from her, he only replied to her directly when she said she was keeping her engagement ring with “nobody asked for it“. They left without issues.
When the booze was delivered Mom and Husband sneaked through the gate when we opened it, she said she just wanted to talk to her babiiiiies and my Dad asked her to leave. She kept screaming he raised us wrong and we just embarrassed her with our behavior, she couldn’t believe we were such bad people and we should start making amends with her because we clearly lack maternal love (she got that right) and this was the pathetic result. At that point Joe went out and told her to leave since the police were on their way, she took it as an opportunity to cry since it’s the first time in about a decade he talked to her and tried to sweet-talk him into going to grab dinner with her and her husband, but Joe just told her to leave and the only news he ever wanted to hear related to her were the ones about her funeral so he could go celebrate. Cue hysterical crying and screaming from the husband demanding an apology and threatening to hit Joe. Dad and Joe went back inside and left them there until we saw they left and closed the gate. It is hard for some people to understand why we react like we do, but the things I wrote about our Mother are just like the tip of the iceberg. Dad wasn’t exactly proud of what Joe said but he understood he needed to let it out and he was speaking for all of us. Maybe that makes us bad people, but we truly don’t want to see this woman ever again.
We are all going to have some family therapy besides our individual ones, Sam doesn’t want the house anymore but my Dad says to take it slow and the first step is to mend his heart. We have had horror movies marathons and some Disney classics sprinkled here and there. We also had a drama bingo thing going on of all the things that could possibly happen because I guess we are truly dramatic after all, we love each other and were raised to treat people well but we can be petty when pushed. I also feel better knowing she humiliated herself and while I wouldn’t wish to be left at the church to anybody, I would do it again because I love my brother more than I feel bad for her. We will be going on a family trip eventually but right now we will continue our staycation.
To the person that said Joe is a hero: his siblings couldn’t ask for a better brother and friend.
We‘ve read everything so far. Thank you for letting me vent, the awards, the Pms, I am sorry if my English was not up to the standards, Joe and Sam names are obviously fake but……..
Daniela, GO FUCK YOURSELF.
Little note: My brothers are reading your messages and comments, they want you to know we know how lucky we are. They appreciate the positivity, want you to know it gets better (those in the same boat), and you are all welcome to our "cult".
UPDATE 2
First more clarifications:
*If you want to PM is fine, even if it is to insult us, please know I will only answer in public form.
*Joe wasn’t parentified (to the person who wrote me a mean essay about it, here is the answer). My brothers spent time with me because they wanted to, we had special days together or with each other. They did all the activities they wanted, had many friends, went on trips with me or alone, etc. There were nannies, family, my Dad. They were never forced to take me with them against their will, they had a lot of freedom within reason. My parents divorced when I was 3, and even if there was shared custody we stayed 90% with Dad and we never went visit our Mother unless we were in at least pairs. The only times Joe or Sam visited her after turning 18 was when I was requested to visit because they didn’t want me to go alone.
*We have all been in therapy for a very long time. We are just having special sessions because we saw our Mother but Joe is the only one that interacted with her. ALSO, please know we (Sam+I) know how to defend ourselves and didn’t ask Joe to confront her, he did it by himself. Why didn’t my Dad go to the church with Joe? Because he was asked by Sam to go home, we didn’t think he needed to see that woman even if he had to talk to her after.
*Sam has cried, he is not a monster! He is heartbroken, thought he would spend the rest of his life with Daniela, thought he was a good judge of character, thought he didn’t have to see our Mother ever again. There are many emotions going on but because of our upbringing we are very good at keeping our emotions at check in front of people we don’t trust or like. It was a survival skill we developed to deal with how we were treated.
*Joe had a relationship with Grandma but stopped talking to her after she invited Mother as her plus one. There was no religious ceremony, the venue had security and there was a No Entry List. He sent Grandma a letter and didn’t talk to her again, we also didn’t attend her Funeral.
*The wedding was about 250 guests, when making the wedding list and sitting charts she used other names which is how we didn’t know about it.
*Daniela is not Brazilian.
*My Dad requested that I inform you all that his kids are not alcoholics, he is worried people think that even if this is anonymous. LOL
Anyway, this week has been really chaotic. Those who said to be prepared for the pregnancy tactic were incredibly accurate. She posted it online, people were freaking out again and calling Sam asking him if it was true. Sam called her and asked that she deleted it, she continued claiming she was pregnant, he asked her to delete it and to come talk about it. She deleted it, met up with Sam and somehow this crazy woman thought he wanted her back. I went with Sam, she was very happy until she saw me enter the place. She started crying, holding her stomach and when Sam asked her if she really was pregnant she said yes and told him she didn’t want her child to be from a broken family. Sam told her they were going to the doctor immediately to know for sure and she cried even more, screaming he didn’t trust her. Long story short, she isn’t pregnant. BUT she posted Sam was forcing her to have an abortion and she was devastated. As you may imagine, this was a horrible thing to say, people were calling Sam because they are so whiplashed from the drama they don’t know what to believe anymore.
When my SIL “Ana“ found out about the posts and the meet she called Daniela. I am unsure what was said in that conversation but I also never saw Ana this angry. The posts are down, but Ana wrote an email with all relevant information including that Daniela was never pregnant and sent it to everybody in the wedding list. This morning we heard Daniela had a breakdown after leaving voicemails telling Sam if she couldn’t be with him she wanted to die. This is another tactic straight out of our Mother’s playbook and Sam simply called the police and told them what happened. Her family forced her into therapy and she is in observation right now. It brings us no pleasure that it came to this, but we don’t want to get involved anymore. We are also changing our numbers, already requested it.
Our Mother emailed Ana threatening to sue her for defamation regarding the email blast but we are not worried about it either. Ana’s parents are amazing and they have made it perfectly clear they are on our side and 100% agree with the way she handled things. Joe was enraged but Ana convinced him to let it go and simply move on. Mother’s husband has been a peach as usual, Dad is considering a restraining order but they are not great in our country.
We did have a get together at home yesterday and it was a lot of fun. There was Karaoke, dancing, nice food and drinks, games, and bouncy house because why not (We love them). Most people avoided the topic of the wedding and the posts but those who brought them up did tactfully. Dad had already given away a lot of the alcohol to his employees, they got to choose what they wanted and got a bottle each. He is also adding bottles into his Christmas baskets this year.
We are going to spend the holidays together and traveling. I told Sam about the new paint for the house but he just doesn’t want to live there, he will rent it. I made a joke about me simply eloping or not having a proper wedding to avoid drama and Joe told me in no uncertain terms I get the biggest party ever if I choose to. So yeah, he is still the best.
Thank you for your nice comments and messages (not thanking the mean ones), the awards, and the interest. Sorry to the nice Danielas out there, the fuck you wasn’t for you.
UPDATE 3
Thank you for all your interest, you are very nice and is always a blast logging in and update you on our Cult.
First some points:
*Hi best sub and youtube, you’re part of the family lore now.
*I do read every single comment, message, etc.
*Some commented I particularly lacked a feminine figure in my life but I had my Grandma, Aunts, etc. My Dad’s girlfriend "Rita" is not a mother figure and I don't feel I am a bad woman because of it. When I had my period and told my Dad he had a whole thing prepared, then he informed my brothers and each had a whole thing prepared themselves, they each had their own approach and the others didn’t know about it. Long story short, I had 3 men taking care of it and doing even a presentation about it. It might sound super awkward for me but was even more awkward for them. It is a hilarious story and reminds me how much they thought about me all the time.
*Rita is amazing and we love her, but she has no problem not being married to my Dad. My Dad doesn’t want to get married again, if he did we would support him.
*Daniela is OK. Her sisters tried to make a huge drama and accuse us of being horrible but after the email sent by Ana nobody is buying it. One of them was also dumped by her boyfriend because he didn’t want to be related to a toxic family.
*I will not disclose where we live or what our Dad does for a living so please don’t ask about it again.
*We have new numbers, new SM handles, and are planning to move (Joe+I).
*Also, I do have a little note with the fake-real names relation and do type my posts in word. It‘s mainly so I don’t mess up my ramblings.
*My Dad wants you all to know your applications to the Cult have been accepted.
Anyway, I checked the last update and I can’t believe it was only in early November! I have mainly good updates for you.
Sam is doing well, he is taking time off work, his boss is very understanding about him needing time and told him he can always come back there. He is still living with Dad and has savings so he is not worried about that aspect. He is running now and has decided to run a marathon next year. He is more and more his goofy self and is doing renovations at home or in other words, Dad and Sam are trying to paint some rooms and do murals. It is hilarious and they have a lot of fun. Daniela wrote him a letter but he sent it back. The house was put on the market as a rental and he is ok with it.
I am engaged! It turns out it has been months in the making and when I made the joke about eloping my future husband "Matt" panicked I discovered the plan. He spoke with Sam (who already knew of tha plans) because he didn’t want to make him uncomfortable but Sam said it would actually make him uncomfortable if he didn‘t. He also spoke with Joe and my Dad, my Dad made him sweat when he asked for my hand saying it was not his to give but they say it was all in good fun. It happened earlier this month, I am very excited but not as much as my Dad. He says he wants to walk me down even if it is a civil wedding. While my news are amazing I believe the other big news around are better.
Joe and Ana have been on the adoption list for a while and as of a couple weeks ago Habemus BABY! She is the most beautiful sweet best baby ever. The adoption is final as it usually is in our country for new born or almost new born babies. We knew they wanted to adopt for a while so when they told us about the baby being officially theirs it was a lot of crying, but happy crying. Dad is in full Grandpa mode and even as bad as some things got this year this is the best thing that happened to our family is years.
Mom did learn about the baby and demanded an introduction. She has been served our version of an order of protection, she is never putting her eyes on her if we can help it. (Those are the bad news). Due to the new Covid we decided to stay home, now with the new addition we wouldn’t travel of course. We had a Christmas/WelcomeBaby/BabyShoweEngagement small gathering last weekend which Joe and niece didn’t attend since she is too young but they were there via zoom. We all agreed to give Sam some goof gifts such as t-shirts, mugs, sweatshirts, etc of Julia Roberts, since you know he is the runaway bride of the family.
The reason Joe and I are considering moving is that we live in flats at the moment and we want to live in houses. We are still shaken up and we know we have work to do but we know we have so much and we want to focus on that because the negative is in the minority. And no matter what happens I am always grateful for my family.
I believe this will be the last update folks, I know the last ones have been mainly drama free, and might not be as exciting, but we aim for that. Not planning on deleting anything, the account will be here in case something worth updating happens. I wish you all the best end of year and an amazing 2022.

So I’m from the US. I’m a firefighter paramedic and a college administrator.
This chick from London friends me on IG. Impressive profile for a scammer in hindsight. My guard was up, but her account looked legit enough. We initially bonded over books. We had some very intelligent conversations about various topics. Not something some third world moron in a hut could make up.
We talked about investing. She said she made a fortune in BTC and from being a stock broker. I’m like okay, she’s obviously not going to ask me for money and she never did.
We talked for a little over a week after that. Exchanging funny memes and chatting about our days. She asked a lot about crazy calls I run as a medic. I told her some stories (no sensitive patient info was given). She seemed genuinely impressed with my line of work and had a very western white girl vibe.
She’s a pretty girl in her late 20’s. Not being a douch, but I’m a decent looking guy in my 30s and I’m athletic. So I flirted a little bit and she very much friendzoned me. I respect the “no”, so I stayed in the friend lane.
We kept talking like friends…
Then I caught her in a couple logistical lies (I didn’t say anything). Basically she screwed up when her dog died, what college she went to, and some of her “friends”.
My spidey sense went way up. So I paid for SocialCat Fish and Pimeyes. Pimeyes is great BTW. Her “fake name” does not exist on this planet. (Harper Rotger).
However I found the real person who she was mimicking.
I called the scammer out. She stuck by her story and never asked for anything, never threatened me, or used any of the usual scammer tactics.
Obviously I blocked her. I can see the “scam profile” is still there unchanged from a business account I have.
I’m so confused. What did this scammer want? They didn’t want money. They claimed to be rich. They didn’t go down the usual romance scam path or investment scam path.
Is the real chick just nuts and has a second profile with an alias??
Has anyone ever encountered this????

For this reason in a hypothetical Live Action Digimon the main characters with Digimon should be people in their late 20s-late 30s (as of now, it may widen in the future). In a quick prologue it goes over the Digital world forming, Earth and the Digital world making unintentional contact (resulting in the creation of Data Digimon first, then Virus and lastly Vaccines), further contact being made (resulting in Digimon styled merchandise in the late 90s onwards)and then a lot people losing interest in the digital world in favour of other popular forms of media. The main story then begins with the main characters two data experts (a man who at first seems intense but has a humorous side (a combination of Tai/Takato and Izzy))and a woman who is pretty edgy with a caring side (a combination of Matt and Rika)) who were both fans of Digimon during its heyday despite it being very young back then. It doesn’t necessarily need to be set in Japan, it would be cool if the characters were kinda like the cast in the live action One Piece series.
They both do still have their old Digivices from when they are young and notice after all those years it seems nothing bad has happened to the Digimon they had (a Veemon and a BlackAgumon). There would be references to foreign cyber attacks, deep fakes, surveillance and malware to create a local conflict in the real world being instigated by the global conflict in the Digital world with some potential politically damaging repercussions and a loss of trust.
There would also be young main supporting characters (kinda like TK and Kari) who also have their own partners like the two main characters to appeal to both the older generation that grew up with the series and younger generations that are only finding out about it.
The Digital world would try and maintain a dark fantasy/Matrix-y vibe without being too similar to Narnia, etc. (Matrix and Biomerge Digivolutions will appear) There will be more human characters in the Digital world who perish in the Digital world to up the stakes (they die by their bodies turning into static white noise and fading away as if they were slowly being turned off live a TV).
Does anyone else think something like this could work?

I'm a 16-year-old girl and I went to the aquarium. 2 things happen there. I have 6 sticking pokes. 3 on my arms 2 on my stomach and 1 on my leg. A teacher asked me about them and I say "oh there stick and pokes" I showed her the ones on my arms and that was it. We were talking about Las Vegas and I asked one of my teachers "Can we take a field trip to Las Vegas?" He looks at me and said "oh so you can gamb". I said "yes I have a fake I. D." If you look at this and thought it was a joke congratulations you're smarter than every single adult in this scenario.
So I get called down to the office Where there were 2 counselors. Ms.f and Ms.k were talking to me and yelling at me And "then they ask me, do you have a fake ID?" I said "Yes, I joked about it". Before I could even finish, she runs out to get the officer. So I gently tap her because I don't want that to happen. Am I saying what I did was right absolutely, not. She purposely made herself fall backwards and it was super obvious. She then told the officer that I push her. I said I didn't do that and threaten to arrest me. I said what happened. I'll getting yelled at by 3 adults in their mid to late 30s. Then I get asked about my stick and pokes. They had the audacity, to tell you that oh, that's dangerous. And it's like every single one of those adults had tattoos. So I leave and I get Home and they told my grandmother I had 16 and that they want is an apology. And said pushed her so hard that I gave her a mark

I'm a 16-year-old girl and I went to the aquarium. 2 things happen there. I have 6 sticking pokes. 3 on my arms 2 on my stomach and 1 on my leg. A teacher asked me about them and I say "oh there stick and pokes" I showed her the ones on my arms and that was it. We were talking about Las Vegas and I asked one of my teachers "Can we take a field trip to Las Vegas?" He looks at me and said "oh so you can gamb". I said "yes I have a fake I. D." If you look at this and thought it was a joke congratulations you're smarter than every single adult in this scenario.
So I get called down to the office Where there were 2 counselors. Ms.f and Ms.k were talking to me and yelling at me And "then they ask me, do you have a fake ID?" I said "Yes, I joked about it". Before I could even finish, she runs out to get the officer. So I gently tap her because I don't want that to happen. Am I saying what I did was right absolutely, not. She purposely made herself fall backwards and it was super obvious. She then told the officer that I push her. I said I didn't do that and threaten to arrest me. I said what happened. I'll getting yelled at by 3 adults in their mid to late 30s. Then I get asked about my stick and pokes. They had the audacity, to tell you that oh, that's dangerous. And it's like every single one of those adults had tattoos. So I leave and I get Home and they told my grandmother I had 16 and that they want is an apology. And then said I pushed her so hard that I gave her a mark. Wish me luck.

I'm a 16-year-old girl and I went to the aquarium. 2 things happen there. I have 6 sticking pokes. 3 on my arms 2 on my stomach and 1 on my leg. A teacher asked me about them and I say "oh there stick and pokes" I showed her the ones on my arms and that was it. We were talking about Las Vegas and I asked one of my teachers "Can we take a field trip to Las Vegas?" He looks at me and said "oh so you can gamb". I said "yes I have a fake I. D." If you look at this and thought it was a joke congratulations you're smarter than every single adult in this scenario.
So I get called down to the office Where there were 2 counselors. Ms.f and Ms.k were talking to me and yelling at me And "then they ask me, do you have a fake ID?" I said "Yes, I joked about it". Before I could even finish, she runs out to get the officer. So I gently tap her because I don't want that to happen. Am I saying what I did was right absolutely, not. She purposely made herself fall backwards and it was super obvious. She then told the officer that I push her. I said I didn't do that and threaten to arrest me. I said what happened. I'll getting yelled at by 3 adults in their mid to late 30s. Then I get asked about my stick and pokes. They had the audacity, to tell you that oh, that's dangerous. And it's like every single one of those adults had tattoos. So I leave and I get Home and they told my grandmother I had 16 and that they want is an apology. And said pushed her so hard that I gave her a mark. Wish me luck.

Did a MA last night. The most painful cramp of the night hit me, I got on the toilet, and felt a huge clot come out. And then, everything vanished. No more cramps, nausea, dull pains, it was gone. I knew it was over. What I didn’t expect was to get up to wipe and see the little thing floating.
I was 8w5d along. It took me a while to realize I was pregnant because my periods have been irregular my whole life. I have 4-8 a year. Then my boobs started to get pretty big so I took a test and yeah.
So. My first reaction honestly was “cool!” I have a curious mind. I like to know how/why things work. I saw it as a science class lesson or something. I touched it. I couldn’t help it. I wanted to dissect it. I think I was dissociating.
And then the guilt set in. There it was. The little thing that could have been. I desperately wanted to keep it. To do what? It felt awful to just flush it. I don’t know. It had little arms and legs and a spot for the eye. Like damn. Too real.
The thing is, I would be a mom if we were in a different time. The biggest reason I didn’t want to follow through was because our society is on the brink of collapse. Our world is overpopulated. People are becoming dumber. I didn’t want to bring someone into this world. It’s cruel to me. I also know that I am not ready to give up my freedom. So while I don’t want children, I do think I would have been a great mother. And I know I’ll never know. I’ll never experience once of the most inherent, natural, amazing things a women can do. It’s sad. And here was my chance but I’m just…… flushing it away.
There’s also two people in my life who all they want is a baby. My one dear friend wants nothing more in life, but between awful partners and life being busy, she has not been pregnant and is in her late 30s. I fear she never will have a chance. Another close friend is trying with IVF. They had a promising moment, and then sadly it failed. She is going through painful injections for it to work.
And guys…….. this has been my second MA. Here I am literally throwing away the chances my friends so desperately crave.
It’s awful. I don’t really know how to live with myself if I’m honest. But I have had very low self worth my whole life so I guess I’m used to these feelings, so I know how to carry on. Fake it so I don’t break it.
But damn.

I am not very photogenic specifically when I have pose in front of camera for any occasion.
I tried dating apps and never put a lot effort to answere all the questions asked to write interesting stuff. As I always feel I might be judged or I might be faking something to very extreme extends.
Considering my not so interesting answers writing abilities and not being a great photogenic person should I give up modern dating app? As this is a hiddrence for me now. Because I feel people know more better when they either talk to me or physically see me.
I am male and in my early 30s.

I work in a pretty small, pretty rural 911 service. I am a new EMT, having worked part time for about 9 months, but only doing 911 for about 4. At about 0100 we got dispatched to an anxiety attack. We were about 20 minutes out, and on the way, dispatch advised that the caller called back asking for an ETA.
Once we arrived on scene, there were about 30-40 people in the street and front yard of the house we were responding to. They are flagging us down and when we stop someone starts banging on my window and yelling that she's not breathing. The crowd is yelling at us to "hurry up," "come on," etc. Since I was on the driver's side I kind of tunnel visioned on this guy and started heading into the house. I figured my partner would grab equipment. I realize now that this was a mistake, as there's not really anything I can do without our bags.
I walk up three or four wooden stairs and come inside to see a 30s year old, probably around 200lb woman laying in an older woman's arms. There are two men around her that are attempting chest compressions. I think I said something to the effect of, "Give me some room," but I can't really remember.
Since the pt was on the larger side, I was having some trouble identifying respirations. Her skin looked perfect, so I tried to look at her stomach and see if I could identify any movement. This I think was my second mistake. I could have easily used my stethoscope or felt her stomach or sides, but I didn't. I saw her shoulders rise and fall, and realized she was breathing.
At this point, my partner walked in the door. I was expecting her to have our first in bag or airway bag, but she didn't have anything. Once she saw the pt, she turned around and walked out, which caused the crowd to start yelling at her. I didn't know what to do at this point, so I started trying to get a history from the mother.
I learned that the pt had anxiety and no other medical conditions. Apparently, before, she had gotten anxious and passed out, but she recovered quickly, never staying down for this long. She was on no medications, and had some alcohol. The crowd denied any drug use, and I didn't see or smell any.
Eventually, my partner got back with the stretcher, and four or five bystanders grabbed her by the limbs and tried to lift. Once I got under her arm and shoulder we managed to get her up. They got her down the wood stairs, and we got her onto the stretcher. It took two or three of us to displace her thighs enough to get her fully on the stretcher. We got her to the ambulance, and my partner and I were able to get her in the truck.
I got in first and ended up in the airway seat. At this point one of the family members started telling us we needed to put her on oxygen and fluids. My partner sat in the bench seat (vanbulance) and started vital signs.
BP: 120ish/70ish
PR: 60
SPO2: 95
RR: not sure
BGL: 100ish
I peeled back her eyelids and saw a little bit of movement when I first opened them, but then they went still. Pupils were equal and reactive at a regular size.
My partner tells me to get on the air and call for an ALS intercept, so I do it. I fumble a little bit with the radios because I was nervous, and accidentally said some things wrong. I got the words out and they sent us another truck. I drove for about 10 minutes before we got the intercept. Enroute my partner got a 12 lead and I heard her say that it looked fine. All the while continuing to assess responsiveness, which hadn't changed.
Once we got the intercept, the paramedic from the other truck started walking in our direction, and the family started banging on the back doors. I hadn't realized they'd been following us, and I was a little surprised they hadn't wrecked. The mother was distraught so I explained that we were meeting up with a paramedic and that everything we checked looked fine.
Paramedic has us take off for the hospital non-emergency. He also yelled at me for my driving but my partner said that was because he wasn't used to vans. He didn't seem to do anything from what I could tell but I don't know exactly what was going on in the back.
At arrival to the ED I chatted with my partner and she said she saw her move her arms to avoid hitting them while we were loading the stretcher, and that she thought the pt was 'faking.'
Can I get some thoughts on this? I have been on sick patients before but this one really amped me up. I think the crowd added a lot to the stress. What does this sound like to you? What should I have done?

It's insane to me where this discussion of steroid use has gotten, not only in this sub but in athletics in general. First off, I'm not an expert, but I've been involved in sports, fitness and nutrition ever since I was a teenager (I'm in my early 30's now). Along the way, I've picked up a lot of information from those who are experts in this area.
First off, just because a guy has a body like Andre Jin's, it doesn't mean he's not on steroids. There are many different types of ped's that don't necessarily lead to muscle mass and definition. Just look at Lance Armstrong and the countless baseball players (especially pitchers) with dad bods who got busted for steroids.
And just because you have a body like Amotti's doesn't mean you are on steroids. He may be, but it's impossible to tell just visually with a guy who has his build (Thanos is a different argument altogether). This is going to upset a lot of people who believe they're experts in this area, I know. But there are countless examples of guys who are natural (at least highly probable) who are just as built.
One example is Greg O'Gallagher, a fitness influencer who's been accused of being on gear for years now by internet experts. Look up pictures of this guy. If he competed in Physical 100, he would definitely be accused of juicing. He had a fascinating interview with Derek from More Plates More Dates who's the most knowledgeable person in this area that I know of: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o2vRk7vWQhk
Going through multiple tests and other indicators, Derek concludes that it's highly likely that Greg is natural (and yes, they go through the issue of faking tests).
There are many other examples, including bodybuilders from before steroids were used by athletes (1950's), and they have builds like this: https://youtu.be/8xkaRxCG6nw?si=h21yN7DT8VniuXfr&t=94
So is Amotti on gear? I don't know, and neither do these internet experts. They're guessing, but unfortunately for a lot of people, a guess is as just as good as the truth.

Light TW for neglect, just because I don't want to unnecessarily bum anyone out
I babysit for someone that I no longer consider a friend. I've posted about her many times because I'm just so overwhelmed by the absolute chaos in this home. But this time was different... This story specifically involves Kayla (11F) and Bea (mom, in her 30s), but there are two other kids under 10 as well, and mom and dad are separated and getting divorced (just to give you a full picture).
The typical dynamic in this household is extremely problematic. I'm not going to go on a rant about it all (something that's causing me to have to rewrite this several times). I'm just going to vaguely summarize the big stuff and get into the issue at hand (which omg is still a rant and I am sorry).
There are very few rules, boundaries and expectations set up for these kids. And the few that do exist are never followed through on to an almost embarrassing degree. This household has no actual routine to it, which causes chaos all by itself, without any assistance. As well, rather than speaking to the children when they make a mistake or misbehave - actively trying teaching them right from wrong, the dos and don'ts - these poor children just get screamed at. Mom can't manage her temper to save her life. Sometimes they get screamed at just for asking a question, which then turns into a fight and the kid gets in trouble (usually Kayla) when mom was the one who escalated everything and upset the kid to begin with... The nutrition in their sustenance is also beyond lacking, and not because mom can't afford it. She can afford many expensive and unnecessary things for herself (like tattoos and concerts), yet only brings home extremely processed things from the grocery store (and any fruits/veggies go uneaten, even though the kids love fruits and veggies - the preschooler will fuckin beg me for salad). The oldest is parentified and playing Cinderella (but doesn't seem to be instructed on how to complete chores correctly), the middle child gets whatever the fuck he wants, the favouritism amongst the children is extremely obvious and nearly palpable...
Okay, stopping there so I don't continuously rage rant and get more specific. Onto the actual issue that has me wanting to make the hardest call of my life...
Last week when getting home from school, I asked Kayla how her day was. She blurted out that it was awful in an almost aggressively upset tone. I stopped what I was doing and asked her what happened. She said she couldn't move her arm. What. I asked for clarification, noting that her arm was just hanging by her side, not moving at all. She told me that she hurt her arm in gym class, the office called her mom and her teacher said it sounded bad (like, the teacher heard the injury - but I'm not sure if she told Bea that or if that was just to Kayla... but also why wouldn't you tell the parent an injury seemed bad), and that her mom said she wasn't going to leave work.
I had to hide my empathetic rage from this poor girl. How does a parent get a call like that from their child's school and not immediately rush to their baby to make sure they're okay? I mean, Kayla definitely has a habit of milking her injuries, but in the same breath, it's really easy to tell when she's doing that. She'll claim her foot hurts really bad but then go running outside to kick a soccer ball around with her friends type of thing. But that wasn't happening this time. At all. Which Bea wouldn't know, because she didn't fuckin show up.
Kayla kept her arm hanging by her side, not moving it at all since she walked in the house. Something that wouldn't happen if she was faking it, because she would've immediately been outside with her friends regardless. I asked her how much she could move her arm and where it hurts. She showed me from the shoulder down and said she could move it a little, but it hurt a lot. I asked her to shrug and she barely moved her shoulder a millimeter before wincing in pain and shaking her head, saying she can't. She was near tears. I compared one arm/shoulder to the other; it definitely wasn't a broken rotator cuff, but something was up; her arm was swollen, and it was a shade darkemore purply red coloured than the unharmed side.
I immediately told her that I was texting her mom to come home. I could see fear in her eyes; she'd already been texting her mom and she was really scared Bea would get more annoyed and she would get in trouble for it... her mom has previously made her give me her phone before when she "wouldn't stop texting her" (honestly it was a few texts within an hour, but whatever). I texted and told Bea what was going on.
She immediately texted me back, asking if I think it could be dislocated. I said that in my unmedically trained opinion, I didn't think so, but that she was having a really bad time. She sends back that she should've left when the school called (DUH) and said she'd go talk to her boss. She left work 10 minutes later and was home within the next 40 minutes. Bea immediately took Kayla to the hospital.
The next morning I asked how everything went the night before at emerg. Bea sighed and told me it was a fractured clavicle. Now, I'm not sure what time of day Kayla's gym class was, but I honestly don't care. That poor, sweet girl had to sit with a fractured clavicle at school, knowing that either her mother didn't trust her enough or didn't care enough to even check if she was actually okay. I definitely think it was not trusting her enough because of how she often milks her injuries, but I also think that not checking on her is just atrocious. I've spoken to a friend or two (also parents but do not know Bea at all) about what they think of it all and what they would've done, and none of them could imagine not asking more questions or flying down to the school (or sending someone down there) just to be absolutely certain that their friggen child is okay and not needlessly suffering.
I just... with the household dynamic on top of this situation, my instincts are screaming "THIS IS NEGLECT AND THESE BABIES ARE UNSAFE," but part of me is hesitant. What if I'm being too judgmental? What if calling CAS is a mistake? What if I call and the kid's lives get way more fucked up than it is now? Which they can't even recognized because they've never known anything else... I feel stuck. Any advice or if anyone can relate or empathize, heck, even just some outside perspective would be really helpful.