Here's my notes throughout the Google Marketing Live. Some stuff may be omitted and I phrased everything how they would have in the presentation (overly positive).

Google Marketing Live 2024

~Philipp Schindler – Introduction~
New era of AI
-A few years ago the conversation was: What is AI?
-Now the question is: What can AI do for me and how can I implement it as fast as possible?

Google's Place in AI
1. Research Leadership
a. Google starting investing in AI over a decade ago
b. Last year, took a step w/ Gemini
c. Multimodality, Long Context, Agents
i. Project Astra
1. AI agent that can seem hear, react naturally in real time.
2. Can use camera to inform Gemini with questions
2. Infrastructure for the AI era
a. New AI models are already 100x more efficient than 18 months ago
3. AI to be utilized across all of Google’s products
4. Bold and responsible
a. Google aims to be at the forefront of policy for gen AI.

15% of searches are new on Google every day
-This number has held steady for more than a decade
“The perfect search engine should understand exactly what you mean and give you back exactly what you need.”

AI Overviews
· People who use AI Overviews use search more
· Higher quality clicks/more time on site
· Rolling out to US

Trend 1 – T he “Exactly-What-I-Want” search
The volume of searches with 5 or more words grew 1.5x as fast
- Instead of “men’s running shoes”
- “how to pick the right running shoes for a runner beginner with high arches”

Trend 2 – Complex Search Made Easy
“What are good options for aa day out in dallas for kids? What are some options with ice cream shops nearby?”

Trend 3 – Search Beyond Words
Search for things that are difficult to describe.
12 billion visual searches a month using lens
1 in 4 visual searches has commercial intent
You will soon be able to search with visual
Circle to Search
- Search anything on your screen with just a circle, highlight, or tap.

Trend 4 – Beyond Answers
Some people are not looking for answer, they are looking to explore, or be inspired.
- “Outfit Ideas”
- “Best Places to Eat with Kids”
- “Rainy Day Activities”
Rather than just getting a simple AI response, they will be getting a catered ai page specifically created for their request.

Small YouTube Blurb
- YouTube #1 most watched streaming platform
- 1B hours of YouTube on CTV daily
- Generative AI is the next playground for YouTube creators

Gen AI x Creativity
- Suite of tools for content creators
o Has image, music, and video models

~Vidhya Srinivasan~
People have limitless options to browse across devices
- 2 out of 3 consumers say making purchase decisions requires more effort than ever
- Have to be on every surface consumers touch
o Grab their attention
o Show them you are their solution
- Google is supposed to be the matchmaker for consumers and businesses
- Showing the perfect ad on every surface is difficult

“This is where Gen AI will unlock enormous opportunities”
- Last year they were just getting started with images
- They’re applying the latest Gemini models to teach their other models
o EX: teaching their algorithm about queries that have never been seen before
- Gen AI is still early-stage tech so they won’t get everything right
o Will become more powerful and helpful as they learn about your business

AI will influence the entire marketing cycle
- Creative
o Building creative will only take days/hours
o AI will draw on hero assets and create variations
o Every ad will be a better match for each consumer’s intent in the moment
- Media
o No trade-offs between precise targeting and growth
- Measurement
o Real-time adjustments based on campaign results

AI doesn’t have taste, it doesn’t have ingenuity, creativity, and strategic insights

Google Search – Generative AI
- Search in new ways
o More complex questions
o Searching with images
- AI overviews will appear in search results when they are particularly helpful beyond SERPs
- They will be stay focused on sending valuable traffic to publishers and creative
- More choice leads to more opportunity for advertisers
- The will be testing search and shopping ads being integrated into AI overviews
o Not just above or below!
- Match the ads, not just to query context, but also with the information within the AI overview
Example:
“How do I get wrinkes out of my clothes without an iron”
- AI overview gives tips
- Within the AI generated blurb, a wrinkle free spray sponsored ad appears

~Sylvanus Bent~
AI Applications in Search Ads
- Ads in Visual Search
o EX: You see a piece of luggage at the airport you love, but you don’t know how to describe it or what brand it is. Use visual lens to search for it, then sponsored product ads will show up within the results
- Every search ad is more than an offer, it’s an experience
o Exploring AI ads with recommendatiosn across different verticles
§ EX: Search for “short term storage” – ad shows up, but now you can click into a new dynamic ad experience, where you can customize your needs.
§ Takes the definition of a helpful ad to the next level

Conversational Experience in Google Ads
- Can give your URL to Google Ads to generate relevant assets
o Helpful for smaller businesses

Power Pair
- Combination of Search and Performance Max campaigns
o Delivers the strongest ROI

Profit Optimization
- Making it a new goal in PMAX and shopping campaigns
- Maximize profit by optimizing for gross profit

~Tim Frank – Asset Generation~
Advertisers who improve their PMAX ad strength to Excellent see 6% more conversions on average.

Creative Controls & Customization
- Brand Colors
- Brand Fonts – only closely matched
- Upload reference images for AI to generate based on

Additional Reporting & Controls
- Placement reporting and exclusions for YouTube
- Asset Level Reporting
o Asset reporting for each creative asset

~Nicky Rettke – YouTube~
AI-Powered Video Campaigns
- Video Reach drive awareness
- Video View drive consideration
- Introduced Demand Gen
o Reaches over 3 billion monthly users
- Demand Gen will roll out to Display and Video 360 and Search Ads 360
- Audience list threshold lowered to 100 users for Demand Gen lookalike audiences
- Over 40% increase in view through rate when utilizing vertical video
- Viewers can swipe left on shorts ads to go directly to a landing page
- Introducing animated image ads
o Pulls images from your product feed and animates them in on unite
- Demand Gen with Product feeds
o 33% more conversions at a similar CPA
- Shop while you watch

~Matt Madrigal – Shopping~
Product Studio
- Create custom scenes
- Change backdrops
- 2 new features
o Create visuals that match brand style w/ reference image
o Image to video
- Brand profile on search
o To be rolled out in the coming months

Shopping Ads
- Will start highlighting key attributes and stuff from reviews
- 3D shopping ad formats
- Immersive Ad Experiences
o Virtual Try-On
o Video Highlights

~Gaurav Bhaya – The Data Guy~
Good AI requires good data
- First party data delivers better results and helps protect your campaigns against privacy changes
- Collect, protect, and use your data.
- Google Ads Data Manager is now available to everyone
- Simplifies putting first-party management all in one place
- Have an active pipeline from all data sources to one place
- Measurement diagnostics is being introduced to Google Ads
o Check Engine Light for your site
- Google’s goal is for us to not have to worry about first-party data

Measurement
- Generated Insights and Reports
o Generate a report with a prompt.
o Generated insights

Marketing Mix Models
- Meridian is Google’s Open Source MMM and will be available later this year

I've been playing on MTGO off and on since 2002. I am a pretty casual player, typically playing intensely for a few weeks and then not touching MTGO for months.
Over the years, MTGO has become more and more laser focused on catering to the most hardcore online magic player. The events that used to exist that were super useful for casual players looking to get a lot of play time for their $$$ (I'm thinking old school leagues that lasted weeks and had tiebreaker matches) are long gone. The interface is clunky and anything extraneous to getting into matches has been removed. There used to be chat rooms for every event, and those are long gone. There used to be support staff in the chat rooms, long gone.
Well I can accept all of that, because although those were fun additions, they were definitely superfluous to my main interest, which is playing drafts and sealed events.
But over the past ~4 years, and especially in the past couple of years, the skill level on MTGO has reached a place where a casual player just cannot win any more. I think this is because MTGO doesn't really attract new players (it certainly isn't set up to do this), and as players slowly leave, the only ones that remain are the ones for whom Magic is, apparently, more than just a game; it's a way of life.
When I see dozens of players in leagues with more trophies than I have even matches played, it really hits home how MTGO is mostly now populated with the most concentrated mass of hard core players possible.
I was never particularly good at magic, but in the Return to Ravnica days I spent some serious effort on improving and I managed to make it to about 1820 in rating. Outside of that, I've generally been very mediocre. I used to win about 50% of my matches.
But in this new world, it's nearly impossible to win for me on MTGO. I win maybe 10% of my matches now, at best. It really doesn't matter what I do, what strategy I choose, how I construct my deck. My opponents always, literally always, have the right answers at the right times, and never flood or screw. It's amazing. The skill level is off the charts.
It makes MTGO not very attractive to play for anyone except those for whom Magic is their entire life. Because a casual player who just wants to have fun, and doesn't mind losing half their games ... well it's really not that much fun losing 90% of the time.

My boyfriend doesn’t trust me. What do I do?
I’m afraid I need a helping hand in non-biased, unsolicited advice.
Around 2 months ago, me and my group of friends who are all girls became friends with a guy in our college.
The first time we all went out for lunch in campus, I only told my boyfriend that I was having lunch with my girl friends as I was afraid he would react negatively since he generally didn’t want me talking to guys. The second time we all went out for lunch, I didn’t tell my boyfriend that he was there either. In between the span of 2 months, this guy would occasionally reach out to me to initiate talks about classes and persuading our other friends to come to class (since our class schedule was a hybrid setup of online and in-person classes). There is no flirting, there was a clear sign of boundaries, but I talked to him as casually as I would to any good friend.
I’m faithful to my boyfriend, and I compromised my own characteristics in limiting myself and not talking to guys because to him, it was a way to keep him assured that I’m not going to look at anyone else. At the same time, my boyfriend said he wouldn’t talk to any girls to assure me that he won’t be unfaithful.
I always thought it was rather unsettling and untrusting of him to do that. Am I wrong? I’ve been in a really healthy relationship before to know that if my partner trusted me and vice versa, no matter who I talk to or no matter who I hang out with, they would trust that I set clear boundaries for myself in respect of our relationship and each other, knowing that while there are restrictions, I’d be happy knowing I can be comfortable talking to people on casual terms because I have no intention of cheating whatsoever.
Now I’ve hid the fact that I was friends with this guy for 2 months, knowing now that I shouldn’t have if I had nothing to hide, but my boyfriend followed both the guy’s and my girl friends’ social accounts and discovered their social media pictures from when we all went to lunch and hung out at school. My boyfriend confronted me about that, asking me all sorts of questions like why I hid that guy friend from him, asking for screenshots of our direct/private conversations and group conversations too (which I did provide). I explained that initially, I just didn’t want him to worry about the guy and that I planned to tell him when I found good timing to mention it, but overtime it was just prolonged. My boyfriend was also hysterical and asking me why I replied so fast to his messages, but I was basically like this with other people too, so I didn’t really think that replying fast to a guy was a big deal.
Well, fast forwarding this story, my boyfriend made me block the guy. He even asked me to snob the guy for a day just for me to make it up to him. I said I can’t do that because I didn’t want to create unnecessary drama within our circle of friends. So I compromised by telling him I’ll keep my answers short and direct whenever the guy talks to me, and that I wouldn’t talk to him unless we were with my other girl friends. My boyfriend said that I need to make up for what I did to him, where my actions of keeping the guy hidden caused him to overthink and feel so bothered by the guy’s existence.
We talked about this issue a few times now. Each time I thought we would move past it, he goes back to reading my conversations with the guy and tries to question every little detail he spots and questions my faithfulness. I had already told him I would be transparent and that I won’t hide anything like that from him anymore, so I wanted us to learn and move past this, but he’s making it really hard for me to support him. He told me to just show him I care by supporting what he makes me do and cooperating, but I’m torn by the toxicity.
Am I supposed to be more patient and understanding like he said he needed me to be because I needed to regain his trust? Please me a hand. I haven’t talked to any of my friends or family about this. I’m scared of how he’d react or feel about it.

My husband decided to enlist and get out of law enforcement. I’m prior military but I was never married and lived in the barracks so I’ve never dealt with this before and I’m getting mixed answers online. The army has this thing now where they let him pick his duty station prior to shipping to basic. I’m trying to figure out if , since we already have orders, I can PCS prior to him while he is finishing A school. I have to sell our house so it would be nice to know I can go ahead and have them move us and go as soon as the house is sold.

I apologize in advance for the length of this thread, but by far this is the user that wrote the most comments in the video of our song. At first, he suggested Scepter and Reign, but he debunked this lead by saying: "Scepter and Reign can be crossed off. I have been corresponding with the lady whose name is mentioned in the legal document, Naomi (first name used with her permission, and only her first name) since Thursday. She was legitimately shocked her name was on the document because in all these years NOBODY ever contacted her regarding it. She thinks they may have realized how much money it would cost and probably withdrew. She knew both bands fairly well, scale of 1-10 she answered "6.5 maybe 7'ish". She designed 1 "logo" for each band that was literally just a sketch she made with their band names on them she could print out in the Xerox store she worked at. Scepter's original name was actually "Dungeon Master" but they changed it to fit their name on her design. As for the abandoned demo from Scepter, she said they abandoned it because they couldn't afford to produce it. They didn't even make it far enough to name their 3 or 4 songs. So, on to the big question, are either bands involved with this song? According to her both bands came out in 1985, and according to her this "The Falling King" song predates both bands by a year or 2. This is not Scepter or Reign, this song is older than both bands. According to her, she first heard this song on a Detroit station while visiting family. Even back then, the Detroit station personnel had absolutely NO CLUE who this was. She remembers her father making fun of the singers accent claiming it was a "Posh" accent and also used to think the lyric was "The fall, the fall in the king" lol. I explained how this song was recorded off of several stations in 1987 and she replied "How many songs do you hear on the radio that are several years old?". She was stumped this was played on Z-Rock because this does not sound like an amateur band to her. She is not the only person to make comments that this does not sound like an amateur band, this sounds professionally recorded and produced, something EXTREMELY few amateugarage bands could have done. I thought i had something, but at least i tried. By the way, apparently Reign still performs in the Pittsburgh area under the name "Metallic Thunder"." (THIS IS HIS LATEST COMMENT) If this is true, it means our search will be even more difficult.
In one of his earliest comments he said this: "My 2 oldest sisters (born in 1970 and 1972) actually remember this song being played by garage bands and local talents in the Coatesville PA area. However, they both swear on mom and dads ashes that the first time they heard this song, a local music festival in Exton PA, I was NOT born yet (I was born in 1984). Even back then nobody could say who it was or what the title was. In fact the one band from Downingtown PA used to refer to it as "The Dungeons and Dragons song". And by that i mean, according to my sisters the lead singers girlfriend (or his sister....they could never tell?) would be in the crowd and when they were ready to end their performance she would shout "Play the Dungeons and Dragons song". My sisters also remember the adults thinking this song was somehow a promotional thing for the PA Renaissance Fair. Unfortunately they cannot offer any clues to the identity of this band or songs title, their guess, back then and still today, was Manowar."
At first, he claims our band is Manowar, explaining: "I do not think Manowar is an obscure band, nor do my sisters. The "obscure" bands mentioned in my postings are all the local garage/amateur bands that they remember playing this song and most of those garage/amateur bands even back then, along with my sisters, were under the impression this was a Manowar song. Many people, not just on this post but others feel this is Manowar "pitch" song, other bands thrown around have been Iron Maiden, Overdrive (Or Overkill, i'm not sure if it's the same band?), Blackmane, Axis and Cirith Ungol (spelling?). Keep this in mind, it's not that uncommon for mainstream/well known bands to have unreleased music in their "library". A good example, ask the most diehard Rammstein fans what their first song ever was, they'll probably answer Du Recht So Gut or Rammstein. Most people have never heard their 1992-1993 pitch song, "Tier" (Monster, beast). In fact, Till Linderman himself stated in 2018 he was unaware Tier was ever recorded by anyone, yet alone put up on the internet. Like this "Fall of the King" song, "Tier" was toted as an mystery song for years but was in a group of 4 or 5 other songs that Rammstein did but never released. One of my favorite bands, Corvus Corax, actually had something similar happen, a song they did back in the early 90's, "Vampire", opening for another band was recorded by a fan in the audience and made rounds on the Neo Folk community ages later. Corvus Corax themselves heard it on a radio station in Denmark roughly 2009'ish and called them asking how and when they got that song because they NEVER recorded it for public use. Personally i cannot give a wager who this is? I am not that good with this genre so i go with what people older than me and much better with this music say. To me it could be Manowar, something they never intended to be released publicly, it could be the Z'Rose a bunch of people feel it is, it could be Overdrive/Overkill (i do not know if these names are the same band or 2 separate ones?), it could be me time traveling impersonating my great uncle Fred......ok that last one was just meant to be a joke lol." Then someone says: "has your sister contacted erik to see about the the song?" and he says "OH HELL NO!!! They haven't spoken since they broke up in 1991-1992. I did reach out to his brother probably a year ago and never heard back."
He suggests it's either Manowar or Sarissa (he mispelled them): "@aSome1 There's some confusion, my sisters never said Z'Rose was playing the song in our hometown area. Local teenage to early college yrs bands were playing it. They recognized this song when I was on a family Zoom chat, i had this song on in the background (by accident actually lol) and my oldest sister (#1 born in '70) asked what i was listening to. I turned it up and she shook her head and asked the other sister (#2 born in '72) "Oh my gosh isn't that that stupid Manowar song Erik and his brother used to play all the time?". Erik was the name of her high school boyfriend. They remember hearing it first at an amateur music fest when my brother (born in '82) was still a baby. Mainly they remember mom fitting all of them in her old "Batmobile" station wagon. By the time i was born in '84 that station wagon was gone for at least several months. The band names they specifically remember playing this, and keep in mind these were "Garage bands" from the 80's were: Venomous Vomit, Razors in your Coffee (Erik's band), Ash to Ash, Cauldron Kings, Coven of Metal, Pridesville, South of Hell and Purgatory. They said there were a few more, but didn't remember....or care....to know their names. (Disclaimer: Several peoples associated with those mentioned bands have been contacted by me and several have replied.....the most common reply is "How the hell do you know us!?" lol)
"I have actually been looking at this song for almost 3yrs. I've had some "good leads" and some "bad leads" and i've also had "WTF leads".......but at the end it is still unsolved. So far the biggest contenders, from people way better with this music than me (I'm more a symphonic or extreme metal person) have been: Manowar, Iron Maiden, OverDrive, Overkill, Onslaught of Destruction and Sonic Mahem. My sisters really believe it is possibly an unreleased or "pitch demo" of Manowar but they also said it might be a Greek band from the early 80's called Sarassa or something like that?"
Then he denies it's Z-Rose: "@lostwavefinder587 I have seen that name tossed around a lot on forums and random chats (this being one of them). Most people way smarter and better with this music than myself seem to have the opinion that it is not Z'Rose. They range in reason from: the equipment sound professional and they were not, the dates don't add up, Z'Rose only did covers so even it is them in the recordings it's still not their song.....one individual (a supervisor at work who lived in Texas during this time frame) actually said "Z'Rose wouldn't have been sober enough to finish that song". I have only heard 1 Z'Rose recording, and unfortunately the person who recorded it (I think the date says 1989?) spends the majority of the 5 minute video talking during the performance so all i hear is them and not the singer. I have to emphasize about %99 of this info i'm presenting is NOT from me but people who know this genre of music way better than me....i'm more Symphonic metal and neo folk (Corvus Corax, Heilung, Faun etc."
"Out of curiosity, since a lot people think this might be Z'Rose, has anyone contacted the family/families of Nick or Joe Cavazos? My "team" is looking into a blog page from 2018 of a pretty intense exchange between a blogger and a woman who is believed to be "Rocker Joe's daughter. In this exchange she states this song is NOT her dad and uncle's band. But it gets pretty rough because the blogger keeps pressing and let's just say some NSFW language is exchanged. I will only say this, the woman's name does match one of the names in Julio "Joe" Cavazos obituary, but they can't tell if it is actually HER or someone posing. I also find it interesting that in another posting of this song someone is claiming to be the nephew of both Nick and Joe.....but about a dozen people ask about this song and he does not answer them......but someone else will ask something unrelated to this song and he answers??"
"About a year ago on another posting of this song, someone had a link to a conversation with a woman who was allegedly Joe Cavazos daughter. She very adamantly denied this was her dads band, Z'Rose. They person kept pressing her and she did not budge a single inch, "NO, its not my dad's band". The only thing that could be confirmed was the woman's name did match a name in Julio "Joe" Cavazos obituary as his daughter. But if it was her or not I can't say? Many peoples on other postings and on forums have all claimed to have gotten in contact with Z'Rose and stated they responded "No" to this being theirs.
So the "Kings Fall" song by Bernard Cavazos is actually a completely different song. He is also not related to the Z'Rose Cavazos. Somewhere I read that the "Kings Fall"/"Fallen King" song by Bernard Cavazos is about a corrupt politician or mafia like "king" not an actual king. Again none of this is from me, it's from things I read, not me.
When 'Wang' did a video about several mystery songs he included this one. In his video (I don't know if he made more than one?) he talked about how that Bernard Cavazos has been contacted and has denied this is his Fall of the King song. If my memory is correct Wang read a message from him explaining his "king" was a corrupt politician or gang leader like king. Wang also mentioned there was another Bernard Cavazos who was a doctor and he is sick and tired of people contacting him about this song"
Someone that replied to him said:
"@CharlesMarkward probably this tape recording was an attempt from them to make something of their own, many bands have started this way, an example is the Brazilian power metal band Angra, they were first meant to be an Iron Maiden tribute but as things went by, they have decided to release things of their own...I couldn't find anything about this "Z'Rose" band in metal-archives, neither at Google with a simple research, but the data gathered until this moment make sense: the Z Rock radio is from Texas, the so called "Z'Rose" band is also from Texas, it was the 80's, so, without internet, this was the way bands used to promote their work...but your story adds some drifts from this sensible data available until now...they are/were from Texas, ok...but until then, they weren't any big group, which means they were probably 9 to 5 salarymen whose musician activity was on weekends and the money earned wasn't enough to keep up with, so, a trip from TX to PA is a long ranged one and expensive for their then standards, I can remember when I've read the Mick Wall's Metallica biography, in which they highlight how hard was for them to go all the way from CA to NY to record Kill em' All, well, unless someone sponsored the so called "Z'Rose from Texas" (like the Zazula couple to Metallica) to play in the events you've mentioned in PA...which means they were good and had potential (this "mysterious recording" doesn't let me lie), because it takes a lot for someone at the other eastern extreme of a big country like the USA to call someone all the way from TX to play in an event when probably there were good bands around and without the need of a sponsorship to travel and get some place to sleep and eat..."
Therefore Charles says: "Also, i am not the one saying it's not them. People much better with much more access to metal archives/records are saying it's not them. BUT, everything you said makes perfect sense to me and I have no argument against any of it. It would make perfect sense if it was a possible pitch demo Z'Rose recorded and kept along for a few years before a station played it. My sisters are %98 certain it was a Manowar song, the only other band they mentioned as a possibility is a Greek band i can't find anything about called something like Sarassa??"
Someone told him to contact Erik: "A little bit ago someone in here suggested i contact my sisters ex and ask where he got this song. I could not get a hold of him, but i did get in contact with his brother he played with. According to the brother they got the song from their aunt who lived in Philly (Center City) and would send them tapes of songs to play. This song was on a tape sandwiched between "4 or 5" Manowar songs. He specifically remembered this for 2 reasons: 1, their aunt wrote "Killing of the king by No Name" and 2, the last song on the this tape was labled as a Venom song (he did not recall which) but was actually "Melody of Love" by Bobby Vinton😂. So i think this is why my sisters keep saying it's Manowar, because if it was on a tape with a bunch of their songs that chances are they heard a crapload of times?"
He contacted Erik's brother (Erik is supposedly the ex boyfriend of one of his sisters) and received this reply: "Erik's brother returned another email I sent about this song. I made a post about it about a week ago. The brother says their aunt who lived in Philly included this song on a mix tape of stuff for him and his brother to play. This song was sandwiched between several Manowar songs and the last song on the tape was supposed to be a Venom song but was actually Bobby Vinton's "Melody of Love" 🤣"
Therefore debunking the possibility it's a Manowar song, he also adds: "She (the aunt) passed in 2014. She would record songs off the radio for them. She lived in Philly (Center City) but also had a place in Florida, so he was never sure which cities radio stations she would record from. This song she wrote "Killing the King?" As the title and "???" as the band name, but it was between several Manowar songs. I think this might be why my oldest sisters are so insistent this is a Manowar song because they may have listened to it with Erik and his brother.....it's a theory lol"
He also thought of Iced Earth as the possible band: "lostwavefinder587 I immediately thought of Iced Earth when I heard this song. Although it's likely just a coincidence, it's interesting to note that Iced Earth was originally called "The Rose".
Someone said to him: "if that's any help, the Greek band's name you're talking about is probably Sarissa. I don't think it's them, though: the vox sound kinda different, and their songs are mostly Ancient Greece-themed." And he replied: "Yes, thank you! All this time I've been spelling it wrong. I gave a quick listen to a demo of theirs from '86. In terms of sound and beat and tempo etc, they are pretty close to this song. In terms of vocals, they sound nothing alike." Therefore, he debunked Sarissa himself.
Now here he changed his version and provides a new lead given by his sisters:
"Holy crap for some reason my last post got cut in half and didn't include the following info, sorry! So the individual i spoke to and got the new possible lead is the former singer of the one band my sisters mentioned, Purgatory, (i do NOT have his permission to use his real name but his stage name was Tarantula). He confirmed he played this song "once or twice" but didn't know the lyrics so they just repeated several "blocks" over and over again. He heard it from a band in NJ and when he asked if he could use the song they replied along the lines of "It's not our song, we don't care" but gave no indication who it was or they even knew who it was? He suggested the band "Knightmare" because they were from Texas and he remembers all of their songs being medieval or medieval fantasy related. Supposedly they wore what looked like full on plate armor (he does not know if it was actual metal armor or something made to look like it). He saw them perform a handful of times because he spent summers in Texas on his grandfathers (mistakenly said uncle in my last post, sorry) ranch and would sneak off at night to "the metal scene" (i do not know if that was a club name or if he just meant that in general?). He began visiting his grandfathers ranch in 1980 and stopped when his grandfather retired in 1992. He gave an estimated timeline for "Knightmare" of 1981-1989."
He corrects himself by saying they are not called "Knightmare": Interestingly, my supervisor at work lived in Texas during this timeline (roughly mid 70's to mid 90's from what i can gather?) and when I asked him about Knightmare he had no idea. But when i mentioned they dressed up like knights in armor he suddenly looked startled and said "That wasn't their name, their name was Battle Battalion or some s*** like that".
But then he says: "So i posted a few months ago about this song, my sisters remember garage bands in the area playing this… I checked every band called Knightmare on Metal Encyclopedia and it doesn’t look like it’s our band." "Forgive my French.....Damn. I thought maybe it could have been a lead but i guess like dozens of others I've come across, dead end. I did a quick search for Knightmare a few weeks ago and I got all excited i saw one band dressed up like monks or Druids, but that band only came out in 2017. I think it's safe to say the name has been used by many bands."
Then someone asks him: "Does the name "Battle Battalion" show up on any Metal "pedia" sites? That's what my supervisor claims this "dressed up in medieval armor" bands name was?" and another one told him: "I saw some bands with Battalion on the metal encyclopedia and discogs and none of them are our band. I don’t think we should go based on what a band wears as our lead."
Then he debunks the Knightmare (and the Conquest) lead: "So a little bit ago i mentioned a band name "Knightmare" as a possibility for this song. Well the band was actually called "KnyghtBlyde" (Knight Blade) and i got in contact with the daughter of the vocalist last night. I played this song for her and after some confliction/hesitation she said it is NOT her dad. The biggest thing was all of her dads songs were based of Aruthurian lore and filled with references to Camelot, Arthur, Morgana, Lancelot, Excalibur etc. Since this song has none of that, its not them. She has no idea who this is. I did a quick search "Conquest 80's metal band Texas" and found 3 results. Conquest from San Antonio, split in either '85 or '87. Conquest from Dallas, '86 - '90. Khan'quest (possibly same band as Khanquistador?), no location given but split up in '88 then reformed in 2000 then......nothing? I could not find anything about any of their songs or demos or releases or band members. But it's obvious I was thinking of the wrong Conquest bands 😂 Conquest was ruled out. Someone who owns the tape was contacted and told us this isn't them."
And he says the singer of KnyghtBlade is convinced this song is from Battallion:
"So a little bit ago I mentioned getting in contact with KnyghtBlyde singers daughter who states that this is NOT her dad. She contacted me this morning, her father thinks this song might be by a band called Battalion. But her father said Battalion also went by the name AAA, Anti Aircraft Assault (or Artillery) in their early days. According to her father AAA/Battalion were from Texas but at least 2 of their members were originally from Chicago. Has anyone ever heard of either Battalion or AAA, Anti Aircraft Assault? The closest I can say is my one supervisor at work mentioned a band Battle Battalion from Texas when he lived there."
Then someone replies to him: "you are right there is a band named Battalion formed in 1984" He says: "I cannot find a single piece of music from this particular "Battalion"? From what I could find they formed between 1983 and 1985, split, reformed under a few possible names, split, repeat. 2 people I asked did say they remember a band of some sort from "out west" Anti Aircraft A-something, but neither could give any info."
Now here, he suggests it could be a Talon song:
"So here's a potential lead for everyone: I was just playing this song for a friend who is obsessed with all metal music. She asked me "Where did you get that Talon song?" Talon was/is a German heavy metal band from the early 80's that released several demos and full on albums between '83-'89. Almost all of there songs were medieval themed, especially their 2 demos. Herr's the thing, they supposedly have 3 unnamed tracks from both demos, one allegedly called "King Slayer". I listened to a bunch of there songs and I have to say there are several songs where the singer sounds exactly like our mystery singer, but then the next song they sound nothing alike. There was one song called something like "Execution" that the opening guitar sounds like this songs opening only slower? I'm not saying it is Talon, but it is possibly something to look into or at least consider?"
He also claimed the singer sounds like Bruce Dickinson (which has been suggested many times):
"I've said many times that I personally feel this vocalist sounds extremely close to Bruce Dickinson. There is a clip of Bruce singing Tom Jones' "Delilah" on either a talk or game show, and his opening of that song is nearly identical to this Fall of the King vocals! Tone, tempo, cadence, pitch......it's really really on spot. I am NOT saying it is Bruce, I'm just saying whoever it is does a good job singing like him."
He says this song could be made by Eviscerator:
"Hello again everyone, has anyone ever heard of a band from Britain, late 70's through late 80's called "Eviscerator"? Very very long story short: I played this song at a Viking/Pagan/Neo-Folk/Black Metal "bar" about half a mile up the road from my place and the one patron who looked like Elvira and Lilith Bathory had a daughter together (HOT HOT HOT) comes over and asked me to replay it and she sang along with the recording with about %95 accuracy! Oddly, at the end after the 4 or 5 "The Fall of the King"s, she suddenly sang "The evil one now wears the crown, all hail the evil one" and head banged for a few moments. According to her, this song was by a band called "Eviscerator" and they always claimed this song was written as a pitch track for the movie Heavy Metal? I mentioned how this song by numerous accounts was recorded here in the USA in 86-87 from stations in Texas, Chicago, Cleveland, NYC and (by only one account) possibly Florida. She didn't feel there was an issue with that as stations will often play random things just to fill the spot including songs that are several years older. I asked about her added line at the end and she stated "I didn't add s*** bud, whoever recorded it must have cut it off before they got to it". I mentioned how numerous people strongly believe this is the work of Z'Rose, she said they probably covered it a bunch of times but it is not their song and even stated that this particular recording sounds like it could be them covering. She was more familiar with Z'Rose than me, she commented "The 3 Cavlaros brothers from Texas right? The singer was the oldest brother Jeff?" (I know that's not their name, i only included it for aunthenticity per context of our discussion, the last name is Cavazos and there was only 2 of them right?). She also told me Z'Rose had about a dozen other names through their years including "Gypsy Rose". I asked how she knew this British band "Eviscerator" and she answered that she lived in London from 78-85 and this song was played a lot on "amateur hour" on several stations, especially university stations. This kind of took me by surprise because i thought she looked younger than me (I'm 39) but she lived in England for college and her first husband in the late 70's??"
"In my last comments i mentioned a bar i went to was going to have a mini concert featuring bands that specialize in black metal and 80's tribute metal and i would play this song to see if any of the band peoples or concert goers would chime in. I did just that and got a few hits on the radar with a few of the band members. The one band, Inviaat, the singer says he remembers this song being played on a radio station in Philly PA for an entire summer because that station was trying to find the band. He does not remember the specific station but said it was near the Taylor University campus (my understanding is that there is several?) because the station thought it was the students from that university's music program. When i asked him when exactly that would have been he said Summer of 1983 because he was married on Halloween 1983 and was hoping the station would find the band so they could play at his wedding. A member from the local band "inductus Mortis" said he recalls that song being played "somewhere in the mid 80's" but does not remember if he heard it in Chicago or Cleveland because he bounced between them. I asked several bands, include the Venom tribute band Poisonous Whisper if anyone had ever heard of a band name Eviscerator from the 80's. Only one person thought he heard the name but it wasn't a band name it was a compilation album of NWOBHM from roughly '83-'84, but couldn't tell me anything other than that. As for the other concert goers, the #1 response i got from them was along the lines of "Dude you can sing, you should go pro!".....in other words they thought it was me promoting myself (I wish i could sing like that!!). the #2 response was people thought it was Manowar. After those 2 the guesses were the usual ones i have seen here and everywhere else this topic comes up: Blackmaine, Axis, Overkill, Overdrive, Black Sabath, Iron Maiden, Anthrax, Slayer, WitchAxe and 2 people even asked if it was an Ozzy Osbourne demo."
"I asked around, including my oldest sisters I've mentioned in my postings, about Eviscerator. The only person who heard of them, the one from this time-frame not the other 8 or 9 bands from the 2000's with that name, said they were a generic ManowaIron Maiden/Judas Priest tribute or more accurately, ripoff, band who sucked. I am not saying I buy this woman's account, but i'm also not discrediting it or calling her a liar. Her familiarity with this song and her accuracy with the lyrics makes me believe she knows this song from somewhere.....what that somewhere is, i can't comment because i don't know?"
"So far my friends and I have several "pings" to look into, the name Eviscerator has absolutely nothing from the time frame we're looking at. But there is (was?) a "Lee Lesaat" Canadian/British "mercenary" (did not belong to any band but would play for others) drummer who now lives in NYC my friends are looking into.
There is an 80's metal/black metal tribute concert this Saturday at the bar I was at last weekend. After the bands play their sets they have an open mic like set up where you can play your own music (as long as it fits the theme). I'm going to try and play this song and see if anyone, bands or crowd or food vendors etc, have any reaction.
And by "pings" I just mean responses/possible possible long shot leads. The guy or girl claiming to be a psychic vampire who time traveled and wrote this song for The Lost Boys movie is NOT going to be one of them😂"
Then someone asks: "What band is this Eviscerator ? I found a band that was formed in 2012 . Furthermore tthe song is not in the metal archives I searched through lyrics was not found." He says: "Allegedly they were in England in the 1980's, but the woman stated 2 of them had New York accents. If all of her account is true and accurate, they were NOT a professional big name band. I did find several bands with the title "Eviscerator" (in different variations) but all of them were from the 2000's. The only "pro" band with that title I could find was a Hungarian band from the mid 2000's. I asked Satanic lady if she remembered any of the other bands that played alongside "Eviscerator" and she only remembered 3: "Band-Shee" (an all female band....get it?) Gargoyle, and Werewolf Tears."
"I have a very very small update for everyone, but it's still an update nonetheless. The mystery succubus looking woman who said this song was by Eviscerator and sang along to it (even when I "accidentally" muted my phone to see if she was just repeating what she was hearing.....she was not) has been identified by my journalist friend! We are going to try and get in contact with her and see if there is anything else she can remember about "Eviscerator" that could help. I'm not going to get my hopes up, but her familiarity with this songs lyrics and the fact she sang almost in perfect synch with the beat makes me feel she really did know this song from somewhere in her past. That or she is a very good actress? Lol
I found only 1 solid, confirmed band with that name but they were from mid 2000's Hungary. But several peoples now and then tell me they remember hearing that name in the 80's as various things; crappy garage band, NWOHBM compilation album/work, some sort of event space or name, most recently someone claimed he thought it was the stage name of a singer but didn't know who or what band. I'm trying to get in touch with the woman who originally mentioned that name."
He posted this comment that lead nowhere: "2 very small updates for everyone:
1) The Viking/Pagan/Goth/Black Metal themed bar just around the corner from me is having a New Years event tomorrow night. They actually agree to give me a "booth" where i can have a "guess this song" set up. And, it will be right next to where the bands play...I'm going to be between the "stage" and the food truck lol
2) The one radio station i submitted this song to will play it on their "X hour" on 1/8/24. It is not a hugely popular segment, maybe a few hundred listeners, but it's better than nothing.
Here's to the New Year and hope this song and numerous others get solved!"
"So the station played this song Sunday night/Monday morning. They played it 4 times between 2:07am - 3:12am. They received 9 calls about it and about a dozen emails (I seriously didn't know they had an email!?!?!?). Unfortunately the majority of contacts were people either asking for them to replay it or people thinking it was Manowar. There were a few Iron Maidens and one or 2 Ozzy Osborne's. Only 2 people stated they heard this song before. Unfortunately they heard it from "some kilt wearing guy at blank bar plays it, I think it's him self promoting". Yes that's me they referenced and no it is not me singing lol"
He suggest matrixx as a possibility: "There's a band called matrixx that has been giving me interest. They were only around for two years due to financial struggles in their stage. If you look up attaxe and fiinal notice they share two members of matrixx. Their drummer and guitarist sound very similar to the band from this song. It's pretty crazy too because they have a song called defy the king. They also had a label to produce their songs which is called Suma Recording Studios. This may be the reason why the audio sounds too good for a small band. I hope that this is the band! Too many good clues that I found"
He debunks the Steven Lindfield lead: "One of the names thrown about here and there on posts about this song is a Steven Linfield ("Lindi") who bounced between Chicago and NYC in the 1980's. His alleged involvement varries between being the DJ who allegedly played it on a NYC station, to being a Chicago stations record manageclerk etc etc. I got in contact with him yesterday. He denies having ANYTHING to do with the airing of this song and does not know how or why his name came up. While he did work at 2 stations (NYC, then Chicago during the summer) he was an overnight watchman (security). However, he does recall this song being played on "some amateur hour crapshoot" in '86 in NYC a bunch of times. At that point in '86 he claims people were referencing it as "The King Song" or "The song of the King" (drawn out to match the singers "The Faaaalllll, the fall of the kiiiiiing") and it was already 2 or 3 years old at that time. He did explain that at least at the Chicago station there was an amateur drop-off slot that the dj's would pick through and play random "no namers" labeling them as "space filler". Because they would be played, literally just to fill space, they were NOT mandated to keep any records of them. Sometimes the dj's would just make up names to some of these. One of his main duties was to check the drop-off to make sure there were no bad things thrown in there instead of cassettes. Another dead end, but at least we rulled out one theory......silver lining??😂 LINDFIELD, not Linfield. Darn autocorrect on this phone."
He is convinced it's a professional band's demo: Thats why a lot people I have introduced to this song think it's a professional band, or at the extreme least an amateur band playing with top level equipment/sponsor? 1983 guy stated they sound like they have equipment his garage band "couldn't even afford to dream about looking at yet alone use". It's also one of the reasons my 2 oldest sisters insist this is a professional band (sister #1 says Manowar, #2 says Manowar or Sarissa) because there are no goofs or mistakes or errors. My sisters gave an example of a garage band from their Kutztown university days, "Freefall Abyss" that self released a demo and in one song you can hear a telephone ringing in the background and in another you can hear a fan or ac unit going.
He contacted a girl named Della: "This song was actually played on an old Philly/NJ station on the segment "Della names your tune" in 2009. I was able to get in contact with "Della" (real name withheld by her request) who at first stated "I played thousands of unnamed songs bud, I probably played this one 100 times, sorry i wont be much help" . Then a few days later replied "I do recall this one, it was sent in from a local listener who had it labeled as Dungeon Master or maybe Dragon Master on a CD with a bunch of old early Manowar, JudaPriest, Iron Maiden, Megadead, Metallica and AngelWitch songs. He or she claimed their father had this song on a tape from his college days. Nobody knew what or who it was back in '09 or '10 and as far as I know nobody figured it out when I left the program in '15." The only name she gave, and I don't know if this was even a real name or the drummers "stage name" was Leopald Lestat.........I do have 2 people looking into it (from a metal dating site of all places). Disclaimer: I know some of those bands are misspelled, I purposefully left it that way because that's how she sent it to me."
"I went down that road, you nailed it right on the head. There is no way to track down who that listener was. The only hint she had, in the form of the note attached to the CD was the person said they were from Radnor PA. I couldn't tell you because the other songs kind of bounce around in terms of year: there's a Judas Priest and an Angel Witch song both from 1980 but then there's a song from Megadeath (I believe Megadeath came out in '85?) and a Metallica song from '86? For some reason my one comment didn't show up? Della gave a pretty big hint, she said the mailing address on the CD was from Radnor PA, but the phone number included was a landline for a Chicago address. Her and the station managers assumed it was a "shadow number" and didn't bother keeping record of it. A lot of her requests had local addresses with out of state phone numbers, cellular and landline."
He suggests Dungeon Masters: "I have a potential lead, "Dungeon Masters" from Pittsburgh PA? Long story short: everyone at work talks about a "hot nerdy chick" who works at the one antique book store in town and she is a music genius and knows EVERY song people play. So i decided to test it. I played this song and she stated "I think thats Dungeon Masters, they were from my hometown of Pittsburgh PA back in the early to late 80's. Thats either Dungeon Masters or someone doing an incredible job imitating them?". Given that Cleveland is only a 2-3 hr drive from Pittsburgh (from what Steelers players say) i think this could be a possible lead and explain the Cleveland recording? Again, this is only a POSSIBLE lead, but i think it has potential?
Currently my one "source" is looking into it. He is not always accurate (as evidenced when we were looking into Conquest) but its better than nothing."
And someone adds this: "Della said the same Dungeon Masters so better look into it"
But he says this: "Close, "Della" stated the listener who sent in the CD had this song labeled as "Dungeon Master?", not a band name. But I am looking into it as best as I can. I found a Pittsburgh band "Dungeon" but they're NOT metal they're an Omnia/Faun like band (neo-folk I think is the term?) formed in 2018. I sent word out to the people I know and my "team". Now it is a waiting game."

It all started with a dream night, the end of which was the end of my world. It was 8:00 pm the full moon and the weather was a little cool, rainy and wet my hair, it was the end of spring, and we would enter the dark autumn a little bit pleasant, so California had the last celebration of spring, let's say the last celebration of my life. It was a celebration in the middle of the city, the streets were closed and there were lights. There were also fireworks that night. I couldn't believe I was sleeping or waking up with a friend of mine, Alex, who was late, had called him, didn't pick up his phone, I thought I'd have a drink while Alex was coming, I walked into the party, it was so crowded, it was like I was being crushed between two trucks, but it was worth it. Everyone was wearing a costume for someone they loved. I was a gamer، I wore a hitman suit with a red tie and a mask that showed my head bald with a barcode tattoo that I had behind me، just like Agent 47 and a silencer gun that wasn't real but very much like the real one on my back. I like it and doesn't bother me. On the contrary, most people who don't like clothes that are tight and they look stifling to them, by the way, I said that the red tie reminds me of blood I like blood, but not like a vampire to drink it. My drink was ready because I had ordered a special one, and it took a while until Alex arrived, I told him why you didn't answer your phone, he said I was in the crowd, I didn't hear him, I told him he was drinking, he said, "Yeah, I ordered a drink for Alex, like me, and they were going to start the fireworks for another hour, I didn't drink much because I wanted to remember the fireworks that night. I don't know why I had a feeling that it would be the last fireworks of my life, we talked to Alex for about half an hour before we went to school because I was interested in basketball, and I was on the school team, and I wanted the future career to be basketball, but Alex wasn't very interested in basketball and he just watched my games. One day when he came to watch me play he gave me so much energy that we won the game that we were 50 points behind and it was impossible to win, Alex would have been a joy and savior for me and I would have been a depressed person without him. On the one hand, the memories of the past were really beautiful and on the other hand, sad that they are over and are not going to come back Alex and I know each other from high school. People say college friends stay for you and high school friendships don't last, but they are wrong because Alex and I were so tight that we could say that we couldn't be separated once we were in seventh grade, Alex and I were in the seventh grade. We were talking a lot in class when the teacher took us out of the classroom and said that because they talk a lot about each other, I want to take your classes apart and it's not your first time we've asked her not to, but she didn't pay attention to us. And we talked to our mother to come and talk to our teacher, and finally they could satisfy it, but even if they couldn't, I wouldn't have been able to tell them that much.It was serious for me that I was even willing to change our schools Somehow, if it wasn't for Alex, I wouldn't be there either. Reviewing these memories gave me a good feeling, but after that Alex told me that Ash's life was coming to an end. Cursed fireworks. My hand went to the trigger, but my gun was not real, and I killed my best friend without realizing it (that's why I shot at that time because the sound of the gun didn't come out and people didn't notice, I know my gun had a silencer, but it doesn't do anything wrong) When the fireworks were over, I couldn't see the crowd anymore, I didn't know why, until a voice whispered in my ear saying, "get up, it's over, you won." The game was real and memorable. That night was the last night in the world for me because I have never found another game like this game, but all the details were observed and all my memories were true. I said to myself that this game should not read my subconscious mind and this happened. Really, until this thought came to my mind, I entered another place of the game again, as if I had entered a new stage and I had to kill another person. I was stuck in the game and time had no meaning for me anymore. I had no way back except to search. I could go out there. After completing one of the 10 stages, I heard a voice in my ear again, as if it was saying that I made you, you are one of the characters in the game. I realized there that I was just a game bot and my home was right here and my creator was so right that for once I experienced the feeling of a human being.The creator of the game shut down the game servers forever because every game has a death time and I had been living for many years but I didn't know that I died that night but the memory that my creator has of me is enough because that reason makes me I think I'm still alive

I'd like to ask you, fellow women in the spectrum, for your thoughts/experience/opinions regarding my marriage problem.
Disclaimer: English is not my native language. I am from Asia. I'm not sure what info is relevant or not to give context to my problem so this could be a lengthy post. Due to the post limit, I will try to continue in the comments. Any quote of my husband is a paraphrase/rough translation.
I (32F) am married with a daughter (9F). My husband (32M) and I work in the same company in Europe. We are in different departments but hold the same job title and have roughly the same salary (difference is miniscule).
I have two cousins that had asperger (M) and autism (F) diagnosis when we were young as well (primary school and kindergarten age, respectively). Last year (2023), I got an official asperger diagnosis (ICD10). This year (2024), my daughter also got an official asperger diagnosis (ICD10).
Back in 2020, I stumbled on some memes about autism that I found too relatable, started reading more about it and took some online diagnosis tests (which were positive). I was 'excited' because it would explain so much about my experiences and ongoing difficulties. I refrained from getting an official diagnosis because of the cost, the pandemic (difficult to travel or acquire services in general), lack of diagnostic services for adults in my home country, and, estrangement from birth family. But, the main reason really, was something my husband said after I related all of the above info to him excitedly (especially the symptoms that I think apply). He said dismissively with some exasperation "So? Everyone does that." I sort of deflated, started to doubt my unofficial self-diagnosis, and, just tried to carry on with my daily life.
Around 2022, we moved to Poland and my daughter started school here. Back in our home country, school was remote since 2020 because of the pandemic restrictions still. So this is her first face-to-face schooling in 2 years. She entered into school late for grade 1 but she quickly learned the language with lots of help.
Middle of grade 2 (2023) with a new teacher (this teacher was more capable than the first one generally), we got info from the school psychologist that she was having episodes of 'selective mutism' (didn't know this was the term at that time but it was basically that) and she had trouble recognizing her emotions. While the school was helping us with this issue, I finally took my self-diagnosis seriously because I suspected that my daughter was also on the spectrum. I raised the topic again with my husband. He was still skeptical but I went ahead anyway.
First, I found a diagnostic service in my Polish city that supports English but it took more than a year of waiting before we could get a slot for the online interviews, panel observations on location, etc.
... more in the comments ...

Growing up, I remember my parents were pretty big on 'keeping up appearances'.
I think some of it was out of concern for their own image, some out of concern for modeling a good Christian family, and some out of concern CPS would come take us because we were 'homeschooled' and not following an atheist start curriculum or whatever..
Somehow, all my siblings were just super self sufficient and fkn geniuses. I was not 😅.
My 'scool day' pretty much consisted of "did you do your ____?"
Why yes, of course I designed myself a curriculum and taught myself history or something as a 7 yr old 😅. But in reality, I taught myself math for like 4 years until I realized I could just wave a piece of paper with numbers and be like "I did math! Me school today."
Jump cut: So here I am as a 5th grader, filling out a slip for a free pizza that essentially asks your name, grade, and what school you attend.
I filled it out, the last answer "HomE ScOol"
My parent legit cried and said me not being able to spell ' 'School' was "EMBARRASSING" and that I need to learn how to spell.
At the time I was like, "fk, I'm an idiot." but I randomly remembered this like a decade ago and it's forever stayed in the back of my mind. My parent isn't a bad person or parent, in some mental gymnasticy sort of way they thought they were doing what was best for us -- but holy shit did they drop the ball on that one, and this particular instance is just so blatantly Narcissistic it has made me question my entire childhood and relationship with education, reading, and writing.
A couple years later it was time for me to go to public school and they got me "tested". My math skills were unparalleled. My skills in everything else were non-existent. I had to "repeat" 6th grade, which I was really upset about until I realized I wasn't repeating anything, I was effectively skipping all grades leading up to..
On the plus side, I finished that year with the 3rd highest math grade in the School, which was like 115% because of a weekly extra credit sudoku 🤣

I (19F) have been experiencing these awful intense intermittent pains in my groin area (ALWAYS on the right side, under my pelvic bone) since I was about 9-10 years old. I never have this pain happen on the left side area of my groin, just the right side.
Like stated, the pain is intermittent when it does happen (as I can go weeks or months without having this pain come) so it will usually come in ‘waves’ when it does happen. They last about 1-2 minutes, sometimes a bit longer but then go away for maybe 5-30 minutes before returning. A lot of the time it comes in these waves FOR HOURS. Sometimes the entire day.
The pain is like a sharp stabbing (and almost pulsing kind of feeling??) but incredibly deep in the area. It can get so bad that it can spread down the rest of my upper right leg or to my lower right backside - when I was younger I sometimes couldn’t make it to school because of the pain. It’s like the kind of pain that makes it a bit difficult to breathe and if I’m walking around while it happens, I usually have to sit and hover on the ground and wait before I can return back to sitting or laying down as that’s the best position to be during these waves. I find that stretching out my leg can give a tiny tiny bit of relief or sometimes putting pressure on the area.
I’ve never been pregnant, had any surgeries, or serious illnesses and I’ve had all of my shots since birth done (if this info helps) The only thing relevant is that a year & a half ago my spleen became enlarged due to an underlying condition - the doctors said celiac but I am almost certain that isn’t the full answer as no actual celiac tests were done (lazy doctors lol)
However, while I was in the hospital before they could figure out what was happening or that it was even my spleen that was enlarged (since I came in with symptoms of extreme pain from my stomach all the way into my chest, shoulders, and back affecting my breathing and body positioning) they were doing a bunch of random tests. One for pancreatitis, one for something to do with my kidney or gall bladder, of course some ultrasounds, and a test for Leukaemia. During these tests, they discovered a ton of white blood cells gathered all over my body but really around my right side in my abdomen and around my heart (which is why they assumed cancer initially) However besides that - my blood tests and other normal tests were completely normal, just low in iron so they just settled with Celiac?? (My spleen is no longer enlarged due to my knowledge but the whole ordeal caused a series of random minor infections in my eyes, teeth, and skin as well as losing 10-15lbs in a single month during the time)
Every. Single. Time. I ask my doctor, she just says it must be a normal cyst in my ovaries or for some reason keeps asking if I’ve ever had trauma to my right abdomen/pelvis area… which I have not. So I know Reddit isn’t the best place to go or anywhere online, but my doctor has been constantly insisting ever since I was a kid, even before all this spleen stuff, that it’s either one of those things sooo I’m hoping to hear of anyone that’s been or going through something similar?? I can’t find something that even sounds similar online to ask my doctor to check out and I’m at a loss. THIS PAIN IS NOT NORMAL!! Especially for 10 straight goddamn years in the exact same place with the exact same pain!!! Anything would be helpful, I just want some sort of insight or even relation or really any suggestions or advice!
Age: 19F / height: 5’5ft / weight currently: around 120lbs / location: Canada, BC. / race/ethnicity: 50/50 Italian & indigenous (native)

Hello all -- first time poster here. Sorry for the really long post, I guess part of this is therapeutic for me just to write out.
I've really been struggling recently, as my wife has come to absolutely despise by 67 year old mother, and I'm not sure if there's anything that can fix it.
A little bit of my history. I've always been very close with my family. I grew up in a south Asian household (although I always felt we integrated nicely with a lot of American culture -- both me and my sibling have lived in a large US city our entire lives and consider ourselves American both in culture as well as nationality). However, as in many Asian cultures, respect for elders is extremely important. I always had a parent-child relationship with my parents (meaning that they were in charge, and not interested in being my friend, but rather my mentors and provided invaluable guidance over the years). Both of my parents sacrificed a lot for me and mysibling, but especially my mom who chose to forgo advancing her own career, and to work part time in order to raise my sibling and I. I've always had a good relationship with my mom, although we've had our share of fights over the years (we're both pretty stubborn), but they typically last no more than a 3-5 days on average and then things are completely back to normal. I would say this happens an average of 1-2 times per year at most. I do feel very close with my mom (& my dad as well, but my wife doesn't seem to have any issues with my dad so I'm not focussing on that part). I do believe that much of the success I have achieved in life is directly attributable to the sacrifices my mom made as well as the time she spent raising and teaching me. I have always respected my parents, which is typical of Asian culture. By respect, I mean things like not talking back, valuing their opinions, and trying to make their life easier or happier in small ways (visiting them on weekends, going out to dinner together -- we live roughly 40 minutes apart).
A bit of my wife's history -- she grew up with her parents being divorced from a young age. Both of her parents are wonderful people who I really adore, but they were extremely lenient with her growing up (they were not on top of her with regards to schoolwork, she would talk back to them at times without getting in much trouble, she was able to sneak out of her house as a teen, etc.). These are by no means egregious offenses, and I suspect many kids do the same at that age. However, there was a clear difference in her relationship with her parents -- there was no real enforcement of rules or punishment for breaking rules. Through my lens, it seems that this has manifested as a lack of respect for her own parents, as well as her elders. She mostly has a good relationship with both of her parents, but when she does disagree with them, she talks to them in ways I could never imagine speaking to my own parents (talks back, hangs up on them, etc.). She says that she needs to "put them in their place" at times, which I also find rude. Overall, I would say she grew up much less "family-oriented" than I did, for what it's worth.
My wife is also somewhat of a nomad (mostly not by choice). She moved a few times growing up (within the same state, but different areas), and then went out of state for college, only to leave after 1.5 years and finish at a local state school (in a different state) where her mother lived at the time. Because of this, she has very few close friends, and the ones that she does have are spread out all across the country on different coasts. This is in stark contrast to me. I've been lucky to maintain the same group of friends that I've had since we were 8 or 9 years old. On top of that, most of them have stayed in the same area that we grew up in (where my wife and I now live). I think the lack of a social circle has affected my wife since she moved to my city, but I'm not sure what solution there is for that since there is no city we could live in where she would have a group of close friends or family (her parents live in different states and split time between different states, her 3 closest friends live in 3 different states).
I've known my wife for 8 years and we've been married for 2.5. I love her. She is a great person; she is kind, compassionate, loving, and at her core truly does care deeply about others (though I feel that this does not always come across in the way she talks to her own parents). She's funny, adventurous, and up until recently, I was always happier around her. We were recently blessed with the birth of our son, who is now 11 months old. Our son is the best thing that has ever happened to us, but his arrival seems to have simultaneously strained our relationship in ways I did not anticipate. I knew that the sleep deprivation would be hard, and our lives would change drastically. What I did not envision was a deepening hatred that my wife has developed for my mom.
Prior to the birth of our son, my wife did not have much of an issue with my mom other than thinking she was "needy" for wanting to see myself and my sibling once a week, even if it was just for a dinner (again, we live roughly 40 minutes apart, and my parents are typically willing to drive to us, meet us at a restaurant, or have us over). My mom does tend to be picky with where we eat out (she doesn't eat most meat, and prefers vegetarian options), but that never really bothered me, though it seems to bother my wife that my mom is "getting her way", even though this was at most 1 meal in the week.
I know that my mom can certainly be stubborn and hard to deal with at times, but I know her very well, and I always felt that she was inclusive of my wife, and never did anything that warranted being strongly disliked. The one exception to this was during our son's baby shower. We had planned a large party with a lot of family and friends that my parents hosted (their house is large enough to accomodate a party of that size). During the baby shower, my mom helped arrange catering of food, ordering tables, chairs, tablecloths, and hiring a bartender (my parents also paid for all of this). My wife did not like my mom's taste with regards to tablecloths and chair decorations and she was irritated that my mom wanted to help and be involved in the planning (though to her credit, my wife did not outwardly show this discontent to my mom, though it was certainly made known to me). My wife handled the floral arrangements and other decorative pieces such as a backdrop, and spent a lot of time and effort getting them exactly how she wanted. I kind of sensed that my mom felt that she was being taken for granted and underappreciated by my wife (she did take care and pay for a lot), and my wife felt that my mom was being overbearing with planning, and also felt that my mom was purposefully spiteful (my wife claims that every other member of my family commented on how nice the floral arrangements were, but my mom never did). This culminated in a "fight" where my wife wanted a decorative piece in one part of the yard and my mom wanted it in another part. There was some exchange of words at the time, though I did not witness this. This left my mom feeling that my wife was "disrespectful" and left my wife hating my mom for not honoring her decision about where to place the decorative piece, since this was her baby shower. This led to a very upsetting experience for my wife and I as we really did not enjoy the baby shower at all (although this was not evident to our guests or other family members, as we were able to "fake it"). My wife was particularly upset after the baby shower when we drove home since she felt that it was supposed to be a special day for her, and my mom ruined it, which I mostly agreed with. To her credit, my mom did apologize to both my wife and me the following day, and told us that she had been under a lot of stress with many family members staying at their house, taking care of meals, sleeping arrangements, etc., and her stress got the better of her. I was willing to accept her apology and move on, but my wife has always held a grudge since that time, and feels that the apology wasn't genuine. Again, I've known my mom for a long time and she would rather not apologize at all than do so disingenuously. My wife however insists that she can read my mom better than me, since I'm biased. Nonetheless, we moved forward.
After the birth of our son, my parents and my wife's parents were overjoyed (he is all of their first grandchild). Again, we live near where I grew up so my parents are much closer to us than my wife's parents are. After the birth of our son, my wife's mom rented a place near us for 4 months to help with the baby and chores, etc. I never had any issue with this, even when she would come over multiple times a day, or even unannounced at times (this was not something that bothered me). My parents were (& are) also very eager to spend time with their grandchild, and initially were coming over every other day to see the baby, which then decreased to about twice a week, since he has been 3 months old. My wife has begun having major issues with my parents coming to see our son twice a week now. Perhaps what is most irritating to me is the fact that I anticipated this issue beforehand. I specifically asked my wife when our son was 1 or 2 months old "how often would you be okay with my parents coming to see him?", and her answer was "I would be so happy if it was just twice a week", (which she felt would be a huge improvement over the every other day they were initially coming when our son was a newborn). I assured her that twice a week was very reasonable and she said she'd be happy with that.
Fast forward to now -- my mom comes to visit twice a week for 3-4 hours and my wife says its too much. She says it's suffocating, that she shouldn't have to live her life around my mom seeing our son (which my wife does not, she always tells my mom which days to come, and they are different each week depending on what my wife wants to do), that she feels like she had a kid just for my mom to play with. Again, my mom is never insistent on what days or even times to see our son. She certainly appreciates seeing him regularly, and I always wanted my son to have a close relationship with his grandparents (both sides), as both myself and my wife did growing up. However, my wife's parents do not live near us (and don't come to visit that often). I think this plays a role in terms of her being irritated that my family sees him regularly, but I don't see any solution. Her family is financially able to visit us (very regularly) if they wanted to, but they don't make it a priority. Again, her parents are wonderful people, but they seem to be more interested in their own lives and relationships than they are in forging a deep connection with our son, their grandson (I'm not saying there is anything wrong with it, but it's the opposite of my family who really want to be close with their grandson, even if it's at the expense of time with their own friends).
I should also add that for the past 3 years my wife has not worked. This started prior to us getting married. She left her job because she hated it, and I am lucky to be in a position to financially support us on my own. However, she always told me she would (& wanted to) get a job in a field that she was more interested in, though she has never been able to articulate what that field would be (actually she was adamant that she would have a job before we got married). I tried to encourage her to find fields that appealed to her, even advised her to take risks with entrepreneurship, to see if she could make a career out of something she considers a hobby. I've paid for countless courses, certifications, etc. (90% of which she did not complete -- things like real estate certifications, social media certifications, photography lessons, camera lenses, etc.). Furthermore, I paid for her to see a therapist of her choosing for a few months hoping it would help her gain clarity with regards to what she wants to do career-wise (it did not). All in all, I've probably spent in the neighborhood of 7-8K on online courses, certifications, and she does not have anything to show for it. Once we got pregnant, we agreed that she would take on more of a domestic role (which is what she said she wanted as well, I did not force her into this -- and she was also not doing anything else for work anyway). The point I'm making here is not that I feel she needs to work, it is just that she gets to see our son all the time (it's not like she's going to work and handing our son off to my mom). Also, many times my wife will say "Oh why don't you come on Monday" when we see my mom (which my mom will then do). Then Monday rolls around and my wife is texting me at work all day constantly complaining about how my mom is interacting with our son (she doesn't watch him closely enough, or she doesn't put him in his crib to nap, or she feeds him when she's not supposed to, etc.), how long my mom is staying, how she feels trapped in the house when my mom is there, etc. She basically wants my mom to come over for no more than 2 hours and then leave (again we live about 40 minutes apart).
This issue she has with my mom seeing our son a couple of times a week for a few hours, has started to cause bigger and bigger fights between us. Part of me understands that my wife's lack of her own social circle of close friends, and not having family nearby is contributing to her unhappiness with our current situation. But the other part of me can't help but feel like I've done everything in my power to help, and it feels that she is just complaining about my mom because she's unhappy with where she is in life. I have tried helping her find a career that she would like, I have tried telling her she can remain a stay at home mom if she wants, I have tried getting her a therapist to help her work through her issues, I have tried encouraging her to join mom & baby classes to meet new friends (which she now attends, but hasn't made any real friends during them), I have offered to joint local couples meetups with her to meet new friends if that would make her more comfortable, I have encouraged her to invite the few local friends she does have over for dinner or even go out with them while I watch the baby, I have offered to move to a part of the city that is even further from my parents, and I've even offered to move cities altogether to be closer to her own family (although her family does not reside in just 1 city, they split time between a few). I've also told her to voice her issues to my mom and hash out whatever the issues are, but she says my mom will see it as disrespectful and "make things even more awkward" (which may in fact be true, but in that case I've told her we would just see my mom less, which is what she wants anyway...). Each time I suggest something, I feel that it is met with resistance or some excuse as to why it won't work (for instance when I suggest moving cities, she says no because I'll "use that against her" in the future if we fight). I'm just not sure where I can take it from here. I'm sure couples counseling has to be a part of the solution in some way, but I'm not sure what they are going to be able to offer that I haven't already tried.
I guess I'm just looking for advice. My guess is my wife wants me to just straight up tell my mom she can't come over twice a week anymore (but I could see my wife having a problem even if it was just once a week), for no good reason. My mom has no idea my wife despises her, and me just randomly telling my parents they can't come over anymore for no apparent reason would cause a rift between me & them. I love my parents and they're only getting older. They're not going to live forever, and I would feel awful if I told them they just can't come to see their grandson because my wife doesn't like my mom for no particularly legitimate reason.
Thanks in advance to whoever read through this, and for whatever advice you can provide.
TLDR - I feel like I've bent over backwards to make my wife happy but she still has a major issue with my mom that I don't know how to resolve.

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To my beloved Marcus
I know you will make sure
this Heart reaches every lost Bastard
or any curious soul in general
until this guide is no longer necessary.
It makes me so sad to think I won't live to see that day.
It is hard for me to say this, but if this book has made its way into your hands, it means that it is already too late for you. For some reason, whichever it may be, you are already in the middle of our situation. And taking the chance now that I already said something so depressing, here is another thing: there is no way for you to get out of it.

Are you being surrounded by strange events lately? I don’t know, maybe the lights around you blink more often than not, the radio changes stations without anyone touching the dial? The animals are suddenly extremely aggressive, or maybe unnaturally tame towards you?

Suddenly you can’t shake the feeling that someone, or something, is staring at you from somewhere unseen in the room…

I guess that I don’t need to mention how this all started. You probably saw something you weren’t meant to see, didn’t you. Some random person breaking the rules of reality in one way or another. A guy flying, a girl on the streets spitting fire, objects appearing out of nowhere.

Nothing makes sense and no one seems to care or know how to explain it. Well my friend, I am sorry to inform you that you have been infected. You are incubating the Arcane Infection, and you are now Awake.

Now, you are a Mage. A Bastard Mage, if you don’t have a master to guide you… which is most probably the case.

If this is the first time you read this book, or any kind of Draconian Text, this probably doesn’t make any sense. I know, it didn’t make sense for me either when I was in your place, almost seventy years ago. But trust me, everything will be explained in time. Just be patient, and stay with me, ok? Keep calm, and keep reading.

The first thing you need to learn is to shut up. You cannot talk about this with anyone who hasn’t experienced it and holds some sort of relevant position in society. Really. Famous scientists, politicians, Mayors, I don’t know. Anyone who tends to be trusted by non-mages. Just. Don’t.

If you already did, let’s hope they didn’t believe you. With some luck, you were disregarded as a fool, a maniac or a person with too vivid of an imagination.

If you survive past three days or so after opening your dumb mouth, you should be safe? Now don’t do that again. The Black Pages don’t like it when you try to talk about this…

Remember that sensation of being stalked? Let’s say that it will eventually go away, unless you are stupid or naive enough to try and bring attention to this deal.

Yes. Magic is real. Good for you. Now shut your piehole and keep reading unless you want to be remembered soon. Walls have eyes and ears, and they’ll probably continue to have them for two or three months. Trying to run away will only perpetuate this, so the best thing you can do is not think about it.

Do something stupid in these months and you will die. Disappear. Kaput. Remembered.

There are people who want to maintain this as a secret. That is another thing I will explain in time.

Right now you have two options: You can learn how to manage this new “gift” (if you want to call it that) in a remotely appropriate way; or you can just be another idiot, and try to live a normal life.

What? You think I am being unnecessarily aggressive? Well maybe I am. But you need to understand the gravity of this situation.

Because I lied. You have no options. Learn how to use this new capability to your advantage, or you will die in a freak accident.

If after reading this you prefer to just keep on with your life like nothing happened, then good for you. Close the book, and put it back where it was. With some luck it will land in the hands of someone less dense.

.

.

.

Still reading? Good. Excellent! Sit down, get comfortable, maybe grab a drink. This is going to be long.

Among the words of this tome in your hands, you will find all the information I have been able to gather along my eighty god damn years of life, or at least all that you need to know to keep yourself alive until getting a proper guide.

It will be a long journey, and many of the things here won't make much sense, especially because I had to take the time to adapt and translate documents three or four centuries old to a mostly understandable format.
So you better be thankful.

The first thing I want you to know: please, for the love of God, do not settle for the things I am exposing here. All the information in this book will be absolutely basic, it won’t replace a formal education.. All the information here is for you to know where you are, how to start, and where to aim.

And now is when I am going to start telling you what IS inside this book.

We will start with something simple: what is Magic (or “The Art”) exactly, how did you end up in this situation and why is it important that you study it by yourself.

Then, after the general explanation, I will talk a little about our “Society”, if we can call a bunch of lonely, grumpy jackasses a “Mage Society”. There are some non-written rules of etiquette and other details that you need to keep in mind, if you want to keep the head on your neck.

Another section of the book will talk about the dangers around us… and this section will be, ironically enough, quite short, because the less you know about it, the better.

Mystery is your greatest ally, it’s everyone’s greatest ally. All that you don’t know is as important as what you do know. And that is what the fourth chapter is about. Each Mage has their own magical system, according to which they can create a Heart. There are as many ways of Magic as Mages in the world (so, not really that many), but all of them share some similarities.

Chapter Five is about the foundations of a ritual. Not every magical system has rituals, but it is always useful to learn and understand how these work, just in case you may find yourself in a desperate situation..

Finally, Chapter Six will be a directory with Formulas, Glyphs and Thrills that should serve as a starting point for all of you. Nothing too complex, but still, very useful. I left a few blank pages here, for you to add anything you learn and feel convenient.

If any of you misuses it, I swear to the Gods.

And this would be the real reason behind this tome: take whatever you can, leave what you create for others to use. I started this book as some sort of reproduction of the classic “Metodología del Fantástico”, that dear Gwendolin de Recattio left for us almost four hundred years ago, and that is obviously beyond obsolete at this point.

That and also probably burned to ashes as many other manuals end up.

Take notes damn it, I will leave spaces for everyone to make a little mark. But for the love of the Gods don’t use your real name, don’t be an imbecile.

Let’s make something together. Let’s create something important for once in our stupid lives. Let’s make the Bastard's life a little easier.

Gato.

That casual exclamation to the so-called ‘gods’ makes it clear that this book is either heretical or very old. Then again, the Wohlian it is written in is quite modern… but that could be the effect of magic, right? After all, this thing is written in ‘draconic’, which seems to be a magical language that self-translates or something?

But that was not the only thing that kinda came to my attention. This guy, Gato, is treating magic like this incredibly serious and dangerous thing… and I can’t help but feel a little nervous about it. I mean, everyone seems to be doing just fine, even if there are a few rules that I have to consider. Was this deal really so complicated?

Well, Gato was the expert, and it felt like everyone respected them plenty so… I will abide by them!

Besides, the knowledge here is beyond promising! A part of me wants to skip right to chapter 6 and start learning new runes! But no, I have to be patient, I have to learn the way it was intended and take my time absorbing/acclimating to the knowledge!

That does remind me, I have my own runes to learn and start using, too… should I begin practicing that before I start learning new ones?

“Wait. Before you do any of that… there’s more on the page?”

Huh?

I will add as much as I can! This book is a great resource but it is also a bit outdated, after all it’s been almost 80 years since its writing!

Don’t give up! We will see this through!

— Giovanni.

If I leave that idiot in charge of the notes he will undoubtedly forget things. Take his optimism with a grain of salt.

Pay attention.

— Mustafá.

Annotations?

I quickly open the file on my computer to compare… and just as I thought, these annotations are not on the scanned version. The beginning is exactly the same, but the writing makes it obvious that these two were written at different times, by the same hand but, still, copied individually!

I look down at my physical version again. Who are these people? And why did they feel the need to vandalize the book like this? I can only beg for them to actually make sensible and useful comments. If this book is as old as they say, maybe the updates will be a good thi–

Wait, only 80 years? I thought a book like this would be at least a century old.

Maybe magic is surprisingly modern after all!

“Fat chance. Gato quoted one of his sources, ‘Metodología del Fantástico’, which should be around five hundred years old.”

Hmmm, whatever the case… I should ask someone about this.

But I can’t just go right back to the Chatbox after saying I would be busy, that would be silly! I instead connect to the Messenger.

Pepe is not online, probably planning a cool vacation with his family or something. Vito is out drawing, Patricio is online but busy… ah, there it is! The group Gal made. Someone should know something there…

xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: Hi hi! n.n Anyone here?
GalaxyTaco to your rescue!: hey Tav, just me for now! the others are busy or snoring.
GalaxyTaco to your rescue!: I wish I could go for some zzz right now
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: Is it late where you live? o.o
GalaxyTaco to your rescue!: early, we have a few hours of difference between Wohl and Rayah.

The Commonwealth of Rayah… that’s on the literal other side of Jericho, so of course we have half a day of difference!

xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: Wait O.o is it like, five in the morning over there then!?
GalaxyTaco to your rescue!: eyeup
GalaxyTaco to your rescue!: today I gotta take care of granny’s business and that means waking up EARLY
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: Damn u.u I hope you have a good day, remember to keep hydrated!
GalaxyTaco to your rescue!: hah, will do, will do.
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: Hmmm… hey, sorry to bother you with this but, I gotta ask… uwu
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: Have you ever heard of Mustafá and/or Giovanni? uwu
GalaxyTaco to your rescue!: in what context?
GalaxyTaco to your rescue!: those are names, you’re saying names right now
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: In magic contexts? O.o
GalaxyTaco to your rescue!: not a clue, sorry
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: Bah, probably just a couple of randos then u.u
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: Oh well, thank you anyways! n.n
GalaxyTaco to your rescue!: where did you even find those names?
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: Ah! I found them in the physical version of the book you sent me!
GalaxyTaco to your rescue!: why did you go looking for that?
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: I don’t like reading in electronic media TwT
GalaxyTaco to your rescue!: hmmm ok but be careful
GalaxyTaco to your rescue!: don’t go testing the knowledge of randos or something like that
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: I won’t, I won’t -u- I will be nice and careful!

Cracking my knuckles, I finally get back into the book. Finally, some answers at hand!

Im a fairly green tech working 2 years in MFM. I recently started feeling the effects of our VERY high BMI population. Other than the fear of severe injury I feel like it’s time to branch out and test the waters of General/Vascular.
I’ve been applying to hospitals left and right and just got a scanning interview in a few days.
Looking for advice on what to expect or what to have prepared to ask/ answer the interviewer.
I want to be upfront so they know what I have to offer. That the only experience I have is in MFM so I haven’t ran through an abd exam in years. But I don’t want to count myself out and get rejected. I guess how do I sell myself with out letting imposter syndrome take over.
Mind you I got hired straight out of school for MFM and was helping train others within my first year there. So that is one point I can attest to my ability and adaptability to learning new things.

This is a 35 min deduction test consisting of items that all follow the same template. It starts out being fairly simple so most users should be able to understand what to do. But the items will get complex so prepare your brain. This template is heavily inspired by an obscure online test most people likely have not seen.
The test is NOT NORMED so you won’t get an IQ score if you take it. You will only see how many items you got correct and can ask for a PDF with all your answers. But if everything goes well then after a month we can calculate a norm and then make sure everyone can get their IQ score. This is only possible if the data is good and the items end up having good loading. Since the items are experimental we can't know how this pans out or what we can take away from this test run. Hopefully a little experiment is fine. I have a few more tests I'll post too.
https://survey.alchemer.eu/s3/90705028/flodhest-Jurij

Im a fairly green tech working 2 years in MFM. I recently started feeling the effects of our VERY high BMI population. Other than the fear of severe injury I feel like it’s time to branch out and test the waters of General/Vascular.
I’ve been applying to hospitals left and right and just got a scanning interview in a few days.
Looking for advice on what to expect or what to have prepared to ask/ answer the interviewer.
I want to be upfront so they know what I have to offer. That the only experience I have is in MFM so I haven’t ran through an abd exam in years. But I don’t want to count myself out and get rejected. I guess how do I sell myself with out letting imposter syndrome take over.
Mind you I got hired straight out of school for MFM and was helping train others within my first year there. So that is one point I can attest to my ability and adaptability to learning new things.

So I (18F) joined a college that is an over 6 hr car drive from home because it felt suffocating there. I don't have siblings and neither do I go to friends homes (this has happened only once.) All through kindergarten, middle school etc I've been the cheerful outgoing nerd until I started slacking off real bad by highschool.
Yeah teenage years bullshit drama but still I became aware of the people around me. It was quite obvious that I never fit into any crowd. Around then nearly everyone was getting into relationships, going places alone, hanging out with friends outside school hours etc I did nothing. Let me tell you, things were extremely bad at home then... Mom and Dad were always arguing and being violent with each other. I've been hit so many times and when I talk with casual friends they say at most they've parents hit them a countable no. of times and I would feel so jealous.
By senior high I began failing exams and my Mom who's always had extreme expectations on me only got worse. Mind you, I got my phone only after graduating highschool. I remember so many times when I'd mark dates on my calendar to run away and debate on whether or not to completely cut my hair to look like a guy. But considering how little my worldly experiences were, I was very scared to do anything stupid. Anyway, I ended up attempting to cut my wrists a bunch of times u til my parents found out and that brought a significantly change in them.
I won't lie, I've always led a blessed life. Both Mom and Dad are rich, own over two cars, houses etc. but they're always working and I'm often left alone at home with my grandma who's very old so we barely talk. I became so used to being on my own this way that the very presence of others infuriate me now. It's true, I'm posting out here seeking online validation but at the end of the day, I find a certain peace in locking my room shut and minding my business.
I don't think I'm an introvert because I dont mind starting conversations with strangers. When I am with a bunch of 'friends' I usually have a good time with them but that's all just in the moment. Only with two nice souls have I actually bonded in my life. Just like others, I want to be in relationships too but my confidence is at an all time low even though I barely show it. I'm just super convinced that no guy would want to be with me physically or emotionally. I don't have a golden body or anything. Everything is average. In fact, I'd say a little below average because I don't even put effort into looking good.
Maybe my life crashed when my parents began labelling me as fat, ugly, annoying. My mom has cursed so many times as to why a burden like me was born. When my dad was extremely mad, he said he'd kill me if I stayed in the house. I've spent too many nights crying blah blah blah a lot of shit yeah, anyway I began working on myself after leaving home. Began working out, lost quite a lot of weight, topped the class etc and I began feeling truly happy.
But the thing is, if I put aside all these materialistic incidents, I'm always alone. I enjoy it. Even though I've never had a one time fling or any kind of fling with anyone, I feel like having no commitment is more peaceful. But it's funny how I still dream of a cute ass family like in Wattpad romance novels (which I love writing).
My parents have been extremely kind towards me after I attempted suicide. They feel sorry, I know and they are trying so hard to fix everything. Lol this is kind of silly but dad gives me kisses and hugs sometimes... It makes me want to cry because there were times when we've been really rude to each other. Now it's all in the past even though I have mild ptsd now.
I have distanced myself mentally from them and everyone tbh. My roomates keep telling me that I'm always in my own world. I love doing things alone because it gives me a sense of independence. I don't know why I have such a proud character that hates asking help or talking about my problems. But I certainly despise being vulnerable in front of someone.
Because of my peculiar 'antisocialness', I've been called weird so often. And especially for my taste in men as I only have eyes for older men. I want to work much harder, leave the country and live in a quiet corner of the world.
Now that I've gotten it all out, I can hopefully focus on my test tomorrow lol wish me luck 🤞