Taking bactrim too often
The place for highlighting good comments from right-thinkers.
2015.07.17 12:06 IBiteYou The place for highlighting good comments from right-thinkers.
All too often great comments by conservatives are hidden by downvotes. Other comments may be on lesser-known subreddits. This is a place to submit np links to great discussions taking place where conservatives make their case.
2022.02.05 19:48 javasgifted Traffic Violence
Traffic violence is an epidemic which kills 40,000 people and injures 3 million every year in the United States. For too long, we’ve considered traffic deaths and severe injuries to be inevitable side effects of modern life. While often referred to as “accidents,” the reality is that we can prevent these tragedies by taking a proactive, preventative approach that prioritizes traffic safety as a public health issue. In this sub we discuss traffic violence and how to end it.
2019.12.04 08:42 diamond-gogoboots- Stickinsects
Welcome to the subreddit for people who have stick insects as pets. You could post pictures/videos of your pet stick insect, wild encounters, and so on. People often ask questions about identifying, taking care of the insects, egg hatching, naming insects and more.. so feel free to ask questions and answer them too :)
2024.05.29 12:37 Extra_Anything9313 Lungs sounds, heart related?
Hi! I (female, 25) have had some health issues since July last year. It started with constant digestive issues, so bad that I had to stop working. My doctor told me I was just stressed. It took me 5 months to figure out what caused it, when I went gluten free the symptoms dissapeared.
Around the same time the digestive issues started my heart started pounding often and racing sometimes. Once it was so bad that the ambulance came and they did an EKG, but it didn't show anything abnormal. So it seemed to be panic attacks. I did a 48 hour holter monitor test. I was told my heart skipped beats sometimes, but nothing too worrying. I am having heart palpilations since I was 15 and I'm used to them, never worried much about it. I have an anxiety disorder and always thought that was the reason, even though they mostly happen when I'm relaxed.
Since all this happened I have a hard time walking stairs. My heart is pounding so hard that it scares me everytime, I feel like I can't breath afterwards. I just don't know if it's real or just my anxiety.
I had a flu two months ago and since then my lungs crackle and squeake sometimes. Since last month I have been noticing a pattern, the lung sounds come once a week and it's always the day after I rest and don't exercise. That day I will have squeaking sounds when breathing in deeply, my boyfriend is also able to hear them. The days when I do exercise there is no problem, no sound at all. Yesterday I was tired and home all day, today after 1,5 weeks my lungs are squeaking again. I have told my doctor, he listened to my lungs but that day there were no sounds and he said it was nothing to worry about.
My doctor never takes me seriously and I get it because I'm an anxious person. However, it has happened 2 times that I had issues that I had to figure out myself, and turned out not to be anxiety. I was never tested by my doctor on celiac disease before going gluten free, so I'm not sure if I have it.
Is there any way the sounds in my lungs could be due to fluid in my lungs from heart problems? I also have very pale nails with a red edge and I always have cold hands and feet. Started having Raynaud's recently as well. I just feel like something is still wrong, but I don't know what to do as I know my doctor won't really listen. I hope someone here will. Thank you if you read this far!
submitted by Extra_Anything9313 to AskDocs [link] [comments]
Around the same time the digestive issues started my heart started pounding often and racing sometimes. Once it was so bad that the ambulance came and they did an EKG, but it didn't show anything abnormal. So it seemed to be panic attacks. I did a 48 hour holter monitor test. I was told my heart skipped beats sometimes, but nothing too worrying. I am having heart palpilations since I was 15 and I'm used to them, never worried much about it. I have an anxiety disorder and always thought that was the reason, even though they mostly happen when I'm relaxed.
Since all this happened I have a hard time walking stairs. My heart is pounding so hard that it scares me everytime, I feel like I can't breath afterwards. I just don't know if it's real or just my anxiety.
I had a flu two months ago and since then my lungs crackle and squeake sometimes. Since last month I have been noticing a pattern, the lung sounds come once a week and it's always the day after I rest and don't exercise. That day I will have squeaking sounds when breathing in deeply, my boyfriend is also able to hear them. The days when I do exercise there is no problem, no sound at all. Yesterday I was tired and home all day, today after 1,5 weeks my lungs are squeaking again. I have told my doctor, he listened to my lungs but that day there were no sounds and he said it was nothing to worry about.
My doctor never takes me seriously and I get it because I'm an anxious person. However, it has happened 2 times that I had issues that I had to figure out myself, and turned out not to be anxiety. I was never tested by my doctor on celiac disease before going gluten free, so I'm not sure if I have it.
Is there any way the sounds in my lungs could be due to fluid in my lungs from heart problems? I also have very pale nails with a red edge and I always have cold hands and feet. Started having Raynaud's recently as well. I just feel like something is still wrong, but I don't know what to do as I know my doctor won't really listen. I hope someone here will. Thank you if you read this far!
2024.05.29 12:35 notsostupidman Why Elayne Is My Least Favourite Character In WoT
This post is going to be looong as I will explore why her arc doesn't really work and is, moreover, power hungry and hypocritical and also why she is just plain not suited to the Andoran Throne while not really deserving the Cairhien one.
Why Elayne Is A Bad Character: So, Perrin and Elayne are the least favourite story lines during the so-called 'slog'. From books 9 to 11, Elayne is in Caemlyn trying to win the Andoran Succession. However, Elayne is NOT a compelling character to follow as she is a spoiled power-hungry brat who doesn't ever have an actual arc. In book 2, the girls are tricked by Liandrin and betrayed to the Seanchan. In 3, they are captured twice: once by bandits and the second time by the Black Ajah in Tear. In 5, Elayne and Nynaeve are captured and Ronde Macura, a Tower loyalist. Nynaeve and Egwene have a complete arc and they stop being idiots as we go further on in the story. Elayne however.... doesn't. She repeats the same fucking mistakes again and again and again. She is impulsive and idiotic and it's a wonder she's not dead. In book 8, in an attempt to stop the Seanchan from gaining Traveling, she destroys a huge chunk of a place in Altara and almost kills herself, Aviendha and Birgitte. In 9, she is almost killed by two assassins in a mock attack by her enemies and has to be saved by a Darkfriend who is successful in gaining her albeit temporary, trust. If the Darkfriends had wanted her dead though, she would have been. In book 11, Elayne tries to arrest the Black Ajah members in Caemlyn only to have two Aes Sedai die and herself being captured. To rescue this idiot, Birgitte has to lose hundreds of men and use them to rescue Elayne while Arymilla was attacking Caemlyn. And Elayne still doesn't learn. In book 13, she tries another idiotic scheme to extract information from the Black Ajah and ends up defeated again. Of course, she manages to rescue herself this time but she still allows a Darkfriend to escape with the medallion copy.
Elayne has almost no character development. She remains almost the same person she was at book 2. Featwise, she is incredibly lacking and her chapters after her return to Caemlyn are just her being annoyed with everybody for wanting to protect her for 12 pages straight where little of meaning happens. She does almost none of the big work to gain her Throne and shows herself as the power hungry person that she is when she tries to seize Cairhien a couple of days before Random intended to start the Last Battle. But there is one more charge upon her, a charge that is often laid upon Egwene but something that Elayne is as well.
Elayne is power hungry and a hypocrite: Elayne is one of the people Rand rages about in his inner monolgues: the people who would not stop posturing and trying to seize power even with the Last Battle coming.
We see this trait a lot of times. She wants to seize the Lion Throne even if she is not fit for it as shown by her considering if Dyelin is an enemy or not when Dyelin is clearly more capable and suited to the Throne.
She is quick to bind the Kin to her and make power plays to get most of the dragons though this last one is somewhat justified.
She is horrible to Perrin and acts like he is a rebel when the Throne broke their side of the accord by not protecting the Two Rivers first. She very quickly forgives Perrin when she is given the chance to head and alliance consisting of Saldaea, Ghealdan, Mayene and the Two Rivers.
And she seizes Cairhien one day before the Field of Merrilor saying that she is clearly a better ruler for Cairhien and that she needs this to unite the Andorans behind her. This second argument, if I recall correctly has been used by several dictators to justify invasion of another country.
And then her most damning one: playing Daes Daemar to get the Lion Throne and having thousands of men die instead of just allowing Rand to crown her. She throws the Aiel and Saldaeans out of Caemlyn because she can't have them help her in her ascension and starts the war just because she wants to stay queen after Tarmon Gaidon. This is the exact same thing she criticizes about Arymilla: that Arymilla is putting her own ambitions before the Last Battle and is thus unsuited to the Throne. Elayne could have stopped the whole conflict by giving the throne to Arymilla at the beginning or by having Rand make her queen making the others fall in line. What she does is start a war for the throne while the Dark One tightens his grip on the world. Her behaviour worsens the starvation problems in Caemlyn by the siege. And the worst part is that not even the novel ever acknowledges all of this. It feels to me that RJ wanted something for one of Rand's love interest to do and came up with this.
Why she shouldn't really get Andor: The reason Rand makes her queen of Andor is that she is the daughter of the last queen. However by this same argument, Rand should have given the Sun Throne to Toram Riatin who was the son of the previous king and who rebelled to secure what he believed was his right. Chew that in for a moment and remember that Rand did not even suspect that Riatin was a Darkfriend - which he may or may not have been. Next, Elayne doesn't really take the throne by her own efforts. She just fucks around in her chapters, whining and being annoyed at everybody and their mom because they want to protect her and/or her children. She complains thrice a page about being forced to drink goat's milk and six times about the number of Guards she is assigned even though she clearly needs those guards as shown by the three times she is captured and almost killed in the space of four books. The only reason she doesn't die in two of those is because Mellar wants to rape her and extract all the information she has before killing her.
Most of the work is done by Birgitte and Dyelin while Elayne spends most of her chapters whining and a small fraction actually doing something. This small fraction isn't really present in CoT where Dyelin offpage gets Elayne half of the support she needs to get the Throne. The rest she gets when Birgitte carries her ascension and defeats Arymilla's army in the worst action sequence in WoT. This convinced the neutral lords to support her and she gets the throne. So Elayne isn't really an interesting character, she has no character development, she is power-hungry and also a hypocrite and makes almost no major decisions in the ascension. Now let's talk about Dyelin.
Dyelin is FAR more competent and capable for the throne than Elayne. Why is she not queen? Because she conveniently doesn't want the throne so that Elayne can have a great ally while also not having that ally be a traitor. This begs the question: if Dyelin actually wanted the throne, would Elayne, recognising the arrival of the Last Battle, step down as Egwene would have? No. No she wouldn't. She is set on taking the throne and considers Dyelin a possible enemy for more than half of book 9 before she is convinced of Dyelin's loyalty. She doesn't even entertain the possibility of stepping down to a more capable ruler in these trying times. Oh, she does have a tiny idle thought after she gains the throne that she might have given the throne to Dyelin if Dyelin had wanted it even though we have clear evidence to the contrary in book 9.
And on the topic of stepping down, why not to Arymilla? Arymilla might have been named an idiot by Elayne but she was capable enough to have led a massive army straight to Caemlyn. And she could have lead an army to Tarmon Gaidon too. She wasn't Elaida who would have sabotaged the whole war and needed to be put down. The other reasons Arymilla is hated is a) she is power-hungry enough to want to seize a throne when the Last Battle is coming. Elayne is doing the exact same thing. And b) she marches an army to Caemlyn and Elayne would have done the exact same thing, again, in her position.
Arymilla is a horrible villain because we aren't really given any good reason for her to not get the throne. She might even have been a better queen than Elayne who didn't really win by her own efforts and had to be carried her way to the throne. Yes, Arymilla is portrayed as a cruel and manipulative person but Elayne is also manipulative and also uses Sylvase's secretary on her enemies.
Elayne doesn't deserve the Sun Throne: In book 6, Rand declares that he intends to give the Sun Throne to Elayne. I immediately went 'why?' and have never gotten a satisfactory answer. By that point in the story, so far as Rand knows, Elayne has gotten her arse captured by the Black Ajah in Tear and given him some ruling advice that almost every other noble probably knew. She had shown nothing to Rand that made her deserve the Sun Throne. Rand hadn't even seen the big power plays she has later on.
Galad and Dobraine make much better cases for the Sun Throne than Elayne but Rand never even considers them. He intends to hand Cairhien over to a foreign neighbour who didn't have the best relationship with Cairhien in the first place and we are never given good reasons for it. It might have been because Rand trusts Elayne but Elayne has not really done anything for Rand to trust her over Dobraine, the man who risked his life on Dumai's Wells just to save Rand or his brother Galad, the guy who has a reputation for never shying away from the right thing. She kissed him in the Stone of Tear so she gets Cairhien? There is no good argument for Elayne getting the Sun Throne other than RJ wanting her to be more powerful than the other monarchs. Rand could even have given the throne to Colavaere who wasn't really a bad ruler as far as we know and had a justified claim to the throne. The Cairhienin were completely justified in not wanting an Andoran on the throne and yet we are supposed to cheer for Elayne when she seizes Cairhien by manipulating them right on the eve of Merrilor?
Elayne has no business leading the forces of the Light: I just finished reading the part where Rand gives Elayne command over the rulers and this makes no sense. Elayne does not have any feats in command unlike so many other characters in the story. Rand makes Elayne the commander in return for her signing the Peace but why does she get anything in return when the other rulers don't? Rand could have chosen Rodel Ituralde, Agelmar Jagad, Davram Bashere or even Mat but chooses Elayne who has done nothing to deserve that and is younger than all the other rulers on top of that? Heck, even Birgitte would have been a more competent commander than Elayne. For some reason, the story keeps finding ways to set Elayne apart from other rulers/competitors/ Aes Sedai and it really makes no sense. The other main characters have done things to be where they are. Rand has killed, like five, Forsaken and conquered both Cairhien and Illian as well as gained the loyalty of the Aiel. Mat has never lost a battle, killed a gholam rescued damane, done shit to have the Band loyal to him, freed Moiraine. Perrin has united the Two Rivers by his own efforts, gotten rid of both Masema and the Shaido, earned the loyalty of the Whitecloaks. Egwene has defeated Mesaana, almost eradicated the Black Ajah, saved the Tower from the Seanchan and also earned the loyalty of the White Tower. Nynaeve has feats to rival Rand's. She has defeated Moghedien twice, healed severing and madness, saved Rand from Rahvin and was very crucial to the death of Aran'gar. Compared to these, Elayne has done almost nothing. She has made copies of ter'angreal and bonded Birgitte and that's it.
I think I've hammered my thoughts over and over but I believe Elayne is terribly written character who gets constant special treatment from the author for no reason at all and gains everything she has mostly through the work of her allies and the conveniences lining up.
Thoughts?
submitted by notsostupidman to WoT [link] [comments]
Why Elayne Is A Bad Character: So, Perrin and Elayne are the least favourite story lines during the so-called 'slog'. From books 9 to 11, Elayne is in Caemlyn trying to win the Andoran Succession. However, Elayne is NOT a compelling character to follow as she is a spoiled power-hungry brat who doesn't ever have an actual arc. In book 2, the girls are tricked by Liandrin and betrayed to the Seanchan. In 3, they are captured twice: once by bandits and the second time by the Black Ajah in Tear. In 5, Elayne and Nynaeve are captured and Ronde Macura, a Tower loyalist. Nynaeve and Egwene have a complete arc and they stop being idiots as we go further on in the story. Elayne however.... doesn't. She repeats the same fucking mistakes again and again and again. She is impulsive and idiotic and it's a wonder she's not dead. In book 8, in an attempt to stop the Seanchan from gaining Traveling, she destroys a huge chunk of a place in Altara and almost kills herself, Aviendha and Birgitte. In 9, she is almost killed by two assassins in a mock attack by her enemies and has to be saved by a Darkfriend who is successful in gaining her albeit temporary, trust. If the Darkfriends had wanted her dead though, she would have been. In book 11, Elayne tries to arrest the Black Ajah members in Caemlyn only to have two Aes Sedai die and herself being captured. To rescue this idiot, Birgitte has to lose hundreds of men and use them to rescue Elayne while Arymilla was attacking Caemlyn. And Elayne still doesn't learn. In book 13, she tries another idiotic scheme to extract information from the Black Ajah and ends up defeated again. Of course, she manages to rescue herself this time but she still allows a Darkfriend to escape with the medallion copy.
Elayne has almost no character development. She remains almost the same person she was at book 2. Featwise, she is incredibly lacking and her chapters after her return to Caemlyn are just her being annoyed with everybody for wanting to protect her for 12 pages straight where little of meaning happens. She does almost none of the big work to gain her Throne and shows herself as the power hungry person that she is when she tries to seize Cairhien a couple of days before Random intended to start the Last Battle. But there is one more charge upon her, a charge that is often laid upon Egwene but something that Elayne is as well.
Elayne is power hungry and a hypocrite: Elayne is one of the people Rand rages about in his inner monolgues: the people who would not stop posturing and trying to seize power even with the Last Battle coming.
We see this trait a lot of times. She wants to seize the Lion Throne even if she is not fit for it as shown by her considering if Dyelin is an enemy or not when Dyelin is clearly more capable and suited to the Throne.
She is quick to bind the Kin to her and make power plays to get most of the dragons though this last one is somewhat justified.
She is horrible to Perrin and acts like he is a rebel when the Throne broke their side of the accord by not protecting the Two Rivers first. She very quickly forgives Perrin when she is given the chance to head and alliance consisting of Saldaea, Ghealdan, Mayene and the Two Rivers.
And she seizes Cairhien one day before the Field of Merrilor saying that she is clearly a better ruler for Cairhien and that she needs this to unite the Andorans behind her. This second argument, if I recall correctly has been used by several dictators to justify invasion of another country.
And then her most damning one: playing Daes Daemar to get the Lion Throne and having thousands of men die instead of just allowing Rand to crown her. She throws the Aiel and Saldaeans out of Caemlyn because she can't have them help her in her ascension and starts the war just because she wants to stay queen after Tarmon Gaidon. This is the exact same thing she criticizes about Arymilla: that Arymilla is putting her own ambitions before the Last Battle and is thus unsuited to the Throne. Elayne could have stopped the whole conflict by giving the throne to Arymilla at the beginning or by having Rand make her queen making the others fall in line. What she does is start a war for the throne while the Dark One tightens his grip on the world. Her behaviour worsens the starvation problems in Caemlyn by the siege. And the worst part is that not even the novel ever acknowledges all of this. It feels to me that RJ wanted something for one of Rand's love interest to do and came up with this.
Why she shouldn't really get Andor: The reason Rand makes her queen of Andor is that she is the daughter of the last queen. However by this same argument, Rand should have given the Sun Throne to Toram Riatin who was the son of the previous king and who rebelled to secure what he believed was his right. Chew that in for a moment and remember that Rand did not even suspect that Riatin was a Darkfriend - which he may or may not have been. Next, Elayne doesn't really take the throne by her own efforts. She just fucks around in her chapters, whining and being annoyed at everybody and their mom because they want to protect her and/or her children. She complains thrice a page about being forced to drink goat's milk and six times about the number of Guards she is assigned even though she clearly needs those guards as shown by the three times she is captured and almost killed in the space of four books. The only reason she doesn't die in two of those is because Mellar wants to rape her and extract all the information she has before killing her.
Most of the work is done by Birgitte and Dyelin while Elayne spends most of her chapters whining and a small fraction actually doing something. This small fraction isn't really present in CoT where Dyelin offpage gets Elayne half of the support she needs to get the Throne. The rest she gets when Birgitte carries her ascension and defeats Arymilla's army in the worst action sequence in WoT. This convinced the neutral lords to support her and she gets the throne. So Elayne isn't really an interesting character, she has no character development, she is power-hungry and also a hypocrite and makes almost no major decisions in the ascension. Now let's talk about Dyelin.
Dyelin is FAR more competent and capable for the throne than Elayne. Why is she not queen? Because she conveniently doesn't want the throne so that Elayne can have a great ally while also not having that ally be a traitor. This begs the question: if Dyelin actually wanted the throne, would Elayne, recognising the arrival of the Last Battle, step down as Egwene would have? No. No she wouldn't. She is set on taking the throne and considers Dyelin a possible enemy for more than half of book 9 before she is convinced of Dyelin's loyalty. She doesn't even entertain the possibility of stepping down to a more capable ruler in these trying times. Oh, she does have a tiny idle thought after she gains the throne that she might have given the throne to Dyelin if Dyelin had wanted it even though we have clear evidence to the contrary in book 9.
And on the topic of stepping down, why not to Arymilla? Arymilla might have been named an idiot by Elayne but she was capable enough to have led a massive army straight to Caemlyn. And she could have lead an army to Tarmon Gaidon too. She wasn't Elaida who would have sabotaged the whole war and needed to be put down. The other reasons Arymilla is hated is a) she is power-hungry enough to want to seize a throne when the Last Battle is coming. Elayne is doing the exact same thing. And b) she marches an army to Caemlyn and Elayne would have done the exact same thing, again, in her position.
Arymilla is a horrible villain because we aren't really given any good reason for her to not get the throne. She might even have been a better queen than Elayne who didn't really win by her own efforts and had to be carried her way to the throne. Yes, Arymilla is portrayed as a cruel and manipulative person but Elayne is also manipulative and also uses Sylvase's secretary on her enemies.
Elayne doesn't deserve the Sun Throne: In book 6, Rand declares that he intends to give the Sun Throne to Elayne. I immediately went 'why?' and have never gotten a satisfactory answer. By that point in the story, so far as Rand knows, Elayne has gotten her arse captured by the Black Ajah in Tear and given him some ruling advice that almost every other noble probably knew. She had shown nothing to Rand that made her deserve the Sun Throne. Rand hadn't even seen the big power plays she has later on.
Galad and Dobraine make much better cases for the Sun Throne than Elayne but Rand never even considers them. He intends to hand Cairhien over to a foreign neighbour who didn't have the best relationship with Cairhien in the first place and we are never given good reasons for it. It might have been because Rand trusts Elayne but Elayne has not really done anything for Rand to trust her over Dobraine, the man who risked his life on Dumai's Wells just to save Rand or his brother Galad, the guy who has a reputation for never shying away from the right thing. She kissed him in the Stone of Tear so she gets Cairhien? There is no good argument for Elayne getting the Sun Throne other than RJ wanting her to be more powerful than the other monarchs. Rand could even have given the throne to Colavaere who wasn't really a bad ruler as far as we know and had a justified claim to the throne. The Cairhienin were completely justified in not wanting an Andoran on the throne and yet we are supposed to cheer for Elayne when she seizes Cairhien by manipulating them right on the eve of Merrilor?
Elayne has no business leading the forces of the Light: I just finished reading the part where Rand gives Elayne command over the rulers and this makes no sense. Elayne does not have any feats in command unlike so many other characters in the story. Rand makes Elayne the commander in return for her signing the Peace but why does she get anything in return when the other rulers don't? Rand could have chosen Rodel Ituralde, Agelmar Jagad, Davram Bashere or even Mat but chooses Elayne who has done nothing to deserve that and is younger than all the other rulers on top of that? Heck, even Birgitte would have been a more competent commander than Elayne. For some reason, the story keeps finding ways to set Elayne apart from other rulers/competitors/ Aes Sedai and it really makes no sense. The other main characters have done things to be where they are. Rand has killed, like five, Forsaken and conquered both Cairhien and Illian as well as gained the loyalty of the Aiel. Mat has never lost a battle, killed a gholam rescued damane, done shit to have the Band loyal to him, freed Moiraine. Perrin has united the Two Rivers by his own efforts, gotten rid of both Masema and the Shaido, earned the loyalty of the Whitecloaks. Egwene has defeated Mesaana, almost eradicated the Black Ajah, saved the Tower from the Seanchan and also earned the loyalty of the White Tower. Nynaeve has feats to rival Rand's. She has defeated Moghedien twice, healed severing and madness, saved Rand from Rahvin and was very crucial to the death of Aran'gar. Compared to these, Elayne has done almost nothing. She has made copies of ter'angreal and bonded Birgitte and that's it.
I think I've hammered my thoughts over and over but I believe Elayne is terribly written character who gets constant special treatment from the author for no reason at all and gains everything she has mostly through the work of her allies and the conveniences lining up.
Thoughts?
2024.05.29 12:33 dirtybongwater222 my dad is an alcoholic.
hi i am 15f and my dad (43) struggles with addiction. i am not hear to bash him or anyone with an addiction, i am here to simply vent and share my experiences with it. (this may be a long post so i apologize in advance)
lets start from the very beginning. my grandfather was an alcoholic and was kicked out by my grandmother when my dad was younger. (important detail for later) For as long as i could remember my dad loved partying and going out. i was often dragged along to these things from as early as 3 years old but i had only gained consciousness of his problems when i was 11. he would often go out on Friday night and not come home till sunday. when i realized he had a problem i brought it up to my mom (they have spilt custody of me 50/50) and she had told me that it wasn’t really that bad, till she witnessed it herself and my own birthday party. i didn’t not want to do anything big that year and just go to the arcade with my best friend. my dad had invited all my uncles and aunts (his friends from high school) and made it into a party. i didn’t mind in the beginning but the invited them all over after the arcade or cake but the party turned into a weekend long bender and thats when i started to hate my birthday because every year after that was the same thing. in more recent times he has picked up a coke habit, how do i know this? he left it lying out in the living room while on one of his benders. that same weekend he had left me alone for 3 days. i am perfectly capable of taking care of myself but its still the fact he rather choose that then staying with me. he also like to often invites random people i don’t know into the house and stay while they party. that makes me uncomfortable. he has a habit of always finding women who have the same problems has him (drinking, partying ect.) so they enable him to do this stuff. For the past 4 years i have talked to him about his problems and he dismisses my opinion. i got to the point where i stayed with my mom for a month and a half because he was not acknowledging how his lifestyle is effecting me. when i finally talked to him his excuse was that “he is at home all day so he needs to go out and is stressed from work” (he works from home) and tells me he’ll change he does for a few weeks then goes back to his old ways. he also like to compare himself to his late father. his dad would spend every pay check at the bar every single day while my grandmother was working day and night jobs trying to support 3 kids. he likes to use that to guilt me because he had it so much harder. he says that he’s not an alcoholic and that he just likes to party. he also his a frequent driver while very intoxicated. he gets into petty arguments with friends/family while partying and storms out in a fit of rage dragging me with him and not giving me a choice. there are times where he had nodded off behind the wheel and i hate to admit this but i sometimes dont wake him up when this happens there a part of me that want something to happen cause i feel like thats the only way to get through to him. no it is the only, way i have tried everything. i just so done fighting the same battle over and over. i just want him to to choose me for once over that dumb bottle he calls his therapy. i have come to a point where i don’t care what he does with his life. i mean i obviously do but i try not too. you cant save someone who doesn’t want to be saved.
im sorry if this seems all over the place 😭
submitted by dirtybongwater222 to alcoholism [link] [comments]
lets start from the very beginning. my grandfather was an alcoholic and was kicked out by my grandmother when my dad was younger. (important detail for later) For as long as i could remember my dad loved partying and going out. i was often dragged along to these things from as early as 3 years old but i had only gained consciousness of his problems when i was 11. he would often go out on Friday night and not come home till sunday. when i realized he had a problem i brought it up to my mom (they have spilt custody of me 50/50) and she had told me that it wasn’t really that bad, till she witnessed it herself and my own birthday party. i didn’t not want to do anything big that year and just go to the arcade with my best friend. my dad had invited all my uncles and aunts (his friends from high school) and made it into a party. i didn’t mind in the beginning but the invited them all over after the arcade or cake but the party turned into a weekend long bender and thats when i started to hate my birthday because every year after that was the same thing. in more recent times he has picked up a coke habit, how do i know this? he left it lying out in the living room while on one of his benders. that same weekend he had left me alone for 3 days. i am perfectly capable of taking care of myself but its still the fact he rather choose that then staying with me. he also like to often invites random people i don’t know into the house and stay while they party. that makes me uncomfortable. he has a habit of always finding women who have the same problems has him (drinking, partying ect.) so they enable him to do this stuff. For the past 4 years i have talked to him about his problems and he dismisses my opinion. i got to the point where i stayed with my mom for a month and a half because he was not acknowledging how his lifestyle is effecting me. when i finally talked to him his excuse was that “he is at home all day so he needs to go out and is stressed from work” (he works from home) and tells me he’ll change he does for a few weeks then goes back to his old ways. he also like to compare himself to his late father. his dad would spend every pay check at the bar every single day while my grandmother was working day and night jobs trying to support 3 kids. he likes to use that to guilt me because he had it so much harder. he says that he’s not an alcoholic and that he just likes to party. he also his a frequent driver while very intoxicated. he gets into petty arguments with friends/family while partying and storms out in a fit of rage dragging me with him and not giving me a choice. there are times where he had nodded off behind the wheel and i hate to admit this but i sometimes dont wake him up when this happens there a part of me that want something to happen cause i feel like thats the only way to get through to him. no it is the only, way i have tried everything. i just so done fighting the same battle over and over. i just want him to to choose me for once over that dumb bottle he calls his therapy. i have come to a point where i don’t care what he does with his life. i mean i obviously do but i try not too. you cant save someone who doesn’t want to be saved.
im sorry if this seems all over the place 😭
2024.05.29 12:23 vietnamese_18 Top 06 reasons why your Vietnam e-visa is denied and how to fix it?
Mistakes such as misspelling your name, entering incorrect passport information, or submitting incomplete documents while submitting your Vietnam e-visa application will prevent your Vietnam order from being granted.
1. Failing to upload qualified documents (portrait photo and passport bio page) for Vietnam e-visa on Vietnam Immigration official website
This is one of the very common mistakes that make your Vietnam e-visa application hang in the government system for too long for approval. The correct format of + Portrait photo: good quality, without glasses, no tank top, facing toward the camera. Cropping the image from your passport page and upload it is unaccepted. + Passport bio page photo: good quality, full page shown including the full ICAO LINES. Vietnam e-visa is granted on regular passport only. Emergency passports, travel documents are not used to apply Vietnam e-visa.
It is compulsory that you must write your complete full name which includes your Surname and your Given names. Many people just write down their names incompletely and this causes delays in processing Vietnam e-visa. Even if your Vietnam e-visa application is granted, you will be declined to check in the flights or cross the borders to enter Vietnam due to mismatch information between your passport and Vietnam evisa. • Date of birth: the correct format is DD/MM/YYYY • Passport number: the whole passport number appears on the passport should be shown • Expiry passport date: it requires the exact date to be shown Once again, all passport details need to be exact letter by letter, number by number in order to guarantee your entrance into Vietnam.
Pay attention to your Vietnam e-visa validity carefully, entering Vietnam before or after its duration is prohibited. Next, choose correct Vietnam e-visa type whether it is single or multiple entry. If you plan to re-enter Vietnam, it is best to take multiple entry visa. Otherwise, you have to obtain another single entry visa for next time.
For quite a few applicants, they get this message via email from Vietnam Immigration. This means that Vietnam e-visa is granted to foreigners who are residing abroad. If you submit your Vietnam visa request while you are still staying in Vietnam, it will be declined. For that reason, you should only submit a new Vietnam visa request once you are not in Vietnam.
submitted by vietnamese_18 to visas [link] [comments]
1. Failing to upload qualified documents (portrait photo and passport bio page) for Vietnam e-visa on Vietnam Immigration official website
This is one of the very common mistakes that make your Vietnam e-visa application hang in the government system for too long for approval. The correct format of + Portrait photo: good quality, without glasses, no tank top, facing toward the camera. Cropping the image from your passport page and upload it is unaccepted. + Passport bio page photo: good quality, full page shown including the full ICAO LINES. Vietnam e-visa is granted on regular passport only. Emergency passports, travel documents are not used to apply Vietnam e-visa.
2. Providing incorrect personal information on Vietnam e-visa application
Filling incorrect personal detail(s) is one of the common mistakes people make when applying for a Vietnam e-Visa. To our experiences, applicants often make mistake(s) in: • Full names: It is crucial to ensure that the spelling and spacing of your full name match the ICAO line exactly.It is compulsory that you must write your complete full name which includes your Surname and your Given names. Many people just write down their names incompletely and this causes delays in processing Vietnam e-visa. Even if your Vietnam e-visa application is granted, you will be declined to check in the flights or cross the borders to enter Vietnam due to mismatch information between your passport and Vietnam evisa. • Date of birth: the correct format is DD/MM/YYYY • Passport number: the whole passport number appears on the passport should be shown • Expiry passport date: it requires the exact date to be shown Once again, all passport details need to be exact letter by letter, number by number in order to guarantee your entrance into Vietnam.
3. Choosing the wrong visa validity, visa type on Vietnam e-visa application
A Vietnam e-visa at the moment is good for up to 90 days single/ multiple validity. Duration of your Vietnam e-visa is granted base on your request for Valid from--- to on the e-visa form. Many people would misunderstand that the visa only starts at the time they physically enter Vietnam and last for minimum of 30 days. Completely wrong!Pay attention to your Vietnam e-visa validity carefully, entering Vietnam before or after its duration is prohibited. Next, choose correct Vietnam e-visa type whether it is single or multiple entry. If you plan to re-enter Vietnam, it is best to take multiple entry visa. Otherwise, you have to obtain another single entry visa for next time.
4. Missing intended temporary residential address in Viet Nam in Vietnam e-visa application form
These days, quite often Vietnam Immigration sends request to applicants to supply their full address in Vietnam. It is best to mention name and detail address of your first accommodation in Vietnam (hotel name + its exact address). In case you have not booked any places, take an expected address from agoda.com or booking.com and put into the required field.5. Including children into your Vietnam e-visa application even though they have their own passport
Each individual applicant who has their own passport must apply for their own E-visa. If parents include their kids on their Vietnam E-visa application even though kids have their own passports, children will be declined to take the flight due to no visas. We – Vietnamvisavoa – has encounter circumstances in which parents included their children into their visa application (as it has a part saying: “Under 14 years old accompanying child(ren) included in your passport). However, it is only valid if your child(ren) is included in your passport. Please read the instruction on Vietnam E-visa application carefully to avoid any hassles.6. Your Vietnam e-visa is declined as you are still residing in Vietnam
For quite a few applicants, they get this message via email from Vietnam Immigration. This means that Vietnam e-visa is granted to foreigners who are residing abroad. If you submit your Vietnam visa request while you are still staying in Vietnam, it will be declined. For that reason, you should only submit a new Vietnam visa request once you are not in Vietnam.
2024.05.29 12:22 rotwienetomate Sam, 30m, from Germany- CrossMediaDesigner and ongoing writer (Horror). I’m looking to connect with new friends. I’m open to all kinds of conversations, including/prefering voice calls. But- come on, at least put some effort into it :D. Not an Online Gamer.
I just finished university (CrossMediaDesign) and I am now writing a horror book and looking what else to find:D
I have been living all around the world, but now living in Germany again. I also have had some other Jobs, and to be honest, I actually am already thinking of learning something new, althought just finishing my grad. :D I will find something new, for sure. Or not. :D I am open to anyone of every age, religion, whatever- but I would prefer to make actual friends. I speak German, Spanish and English. I watch way too many TV shows and movies and read a lot. :D and well, I'm a drummer, so I also love music.:D and I love Naruto and Boruto:D (not into Anime in general).
While , as I said, I'm open to anyone, try to be talkative and have a real conversation. This whole "I'm just bored at work and want to pass a few hours and then never talk again" - BS might be okay for many, but not for me.
Also- I sadly have had it, that people quit after a few days due to me not answering every day - I have real life friends and also am often busy, but that doesn't mean I am letting you down, I try to always come back to cool people I find here. It sometimes just takes time.
submitted by rotwienetomate to MakeNewFriendsHere [link] [comments]
I have been living all around the world, but now living in Germany again. I also have had some other Jobs, and to be honest, I actually am already thinking of learning something new, althought just finishing my grad. :D I will find something new, for sure. Or not. :D I am open to anyone of every age, religion, whatever- but I would prefer to make actual friends. I speak German, Spanish and English. I watch way too many TV shows and movies and read a lot. :D and well, I'm a drummer, so I also love music.:D and I love Naruto and Boruto:D (not into Anime in general).
While , as I said, I'm open to anyone, try to be talkative and have a real conversation. This whole "I'm just bored at work and want to pass a few hours and then never talk again" - BS might be okay for many, but not for me.
Also- I sadly have had it, that people quit after a few days due to me not answering every day - I have real life friends and also am often busy, but that doesn't mean I am letting you down, I try to always come back to cool people I find here. It sometimes just takes time.
2024.05.29 12:19 jackthehat6 test route apps?
Hiya. I'm convinced that a huge part of passing the driving test is having intimate knowledge of the test routes. Local knowledge seems to be of HUGE importance. (road markings are often way too late for example!)
I think for example like 90% of people who passed their test would fail if they had to take it in a new area they'd not been too.
Anyway, I want to buy a test route app so that I can practice test routes in various areas.
I want it to give me sat nav instructions from my phone, basically.
I've only looked at one app but it's like £12.50 per month!
That feels like way too much to me! I was hoping to find one with a one-off payment for like maybe £15 or so! Not having to keep paying again and again (similar to the price of theory test premium apps for example. They only charged me once for unlimited use)
Anyone here use one or or can recommend one?!!
thanks
submitted by jackthehat6 to LearnerDriverUK [link] [comments]
I think for example like 90% of people who passed their test would fail if they had to take it in a new area they'd not been too.
Anyway, I want to buy a test route app so that I can practice test routes in various areas.
I want it to give me sat nav instructions from my phone, basically.
I've only looked at one app but it's like £12.50 per month!
That feels like way too much to me! I was hoping to find one with a one-off payment for like maybe £15 or so! Not having to keep paying again and again (similar to the price of theory test premium apps for example. They only charged me once for unlimited use)
Anyone here use one or or can recommend one?!!
thanks
2024.05.29 12:15 jonokimono LINERLYMPICS 2024 - Match #3: HAPAG's KAISERIN AUGUSTE VICTORIA (1905) vs. Cunard's LUSITANIA (1907)
 | In the second preliminary match HAPAG’s DEUTSCHLAND defeated White Star’s Celtic by 20 votes to 16. Therefore Celtic is eliminated, and DEUTSCHLAND has secured a spot on the Round of 16! submitted by jonokimono to Oceanlinerporn [link] [comments] We now move onto the 3rd preliminary match: HAPAG’s KAISERIN AUGUSTE VICTORIA (1905, from 1921 Canadian Pacific's EMPRESS OF SCOTLAND) vs. Cunard Line’s LUSITANIA (1907). https://preview.redd.it/cg5ebl4gcc3d1.png?width=2182&format=png&auto=webp&s=26ff8fdb0bc7e52f562e3131c5aa1d79a8cb6834 KAISERIN AUGUSTE VICTORIA (later EMPRESS OF SCOTLAND) At the time of her launch in 1905, HAPAG’s KAISERIN AUGUSTE VICTORIA was the world’s largest ship at 24,581GRT - often an overlooked holder of this title wedged between White Star’s Big Four and the Lusitania. While larger and more luxurious than HAPAG’s Deutschland from five years earlier, she was a slower ship which focused on rivalling not only the British ships but also the Kaiser class in passenger comfort and amenity. She was mothballed in Hamburg during WW1 (and never called into service), and eventually surrendered and handed over to Canadian Pacific as a war reparation. Renamed EMPRESS OF SCOTLAND she was extensively refitted and in 1922 commenced her maiden voyage from Southampton to Quebec. She served eight years as a flagship of the Canadian Pacific Line, until 1930 when she was withdrawn from service and scrapped. LUSITANIA Ships like Kaiserin Auguste Victoria, the NDL’s Kaiser class, and White Star’s Big Four prompted a significant response from Cunard. In partnership with the British Government, they developed two new super liners which would not only be (by far) the world’s largest and most luxurious, but also the fastest. With a Government loan, the new ships would be built to Admiralty specifications for use as auxiliary cruisers in the event of war. The first of these two ships was LUSITANIA (1907) - the world’s first ship to exceed 30,000 GRT. Her speed and level of comfort made her an extremely popular and successful liner across her short, eight year life. However, as we know, her career was cut violently short in 1915 in an event that was arguably one of the most consequential acts of war, and second only to Titanic in its lasting impact on maritime heritage. General notes...
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2024.05.29 12:00 OkServe2731 should i ask her out
Hi, I am a 16-year-old boy from Denmark in my last year of folkeskole, similar to freshman year in the USA. In about 2 months, my class will be split, and we will all go our separate ways. However, I have a dilemma. There is this girl I like, but I am too afraid to ask her out. She and I are great friends, but I fear that if she says no, it might ruin our friendship. I have difficulty picking up on clues, so I'm unsure if she has shown signs of liking me too. She will be attending an efterskole (a one-year boarding school), and I am worried about losing contact with her as we won't see each other often. I am also concerned about people finding out if she rejects me and potentially making fun of me.
Should I take the risk and ask her out, potentially making the last months of school awkward and risking our friendship, or should I stay quiet and enjoy being friends with her while waiting for someone else?
submitted by OkServe2731 to datingadviceformen [link] [comments]
Should I take the risk and ask her out, potentially making the last months of school awkward and risking our friendship, or should I stay quiet and enjoy being friends with her while waiting for someone else?
2024.05.29 11:54 Stage-Piercing727 Best 72 Oz Water Bottle
 | submitted by Stage-Piercing727 to u/Stage-Piercing727 [link] [comments] https://preview.redd.it/57i8nega8c3d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=526e1bab5341482362740e2b291ec823d0ff3ff4 Welcome to our curated selection of the best 72 oz water bottles currently available on the market. Our comprehensive guide aims to provide you with a detailed overview of the top options, ensuring you find the perfect bottle to keep you hydrated throughout the day. Whether you're an avid hiker, an office worker, or simply someone looking for a reliable water bottle with a generous capacity, this roundup is designed to guide you through the process of making an informed purchasing decision. Get ready to discover the ideal 72 oz water bottle that fits your lifestyle! The Top 14 Best 72 Oz Water Bottle
Reviews🔗Sleek 72 oz. Water Bottle with Enhanced Carry Loop and Stylish Redesigned Handlehttps://preview.redd.it/uwa42cwa8c3d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3938f6754d20a22b316a6b7b8287450987fc4224 Drinking enough water is essential for maintaining a healthy lifestyle, but it can be challenging to remember to stay hydrated throughout the day. Enter the Hydrojug Pro Water Bottle, a handy and reliable solution for those looking to improve their hydration habits. This bottle boasts a wide mouth opening and a redesigned handle that fits perfectly in one hand. Its generous 73 oz capacity ensures that you can carry enough water with you throughout the day, reducing the need for frequent refills. The sleek and sturdy design is not only attractive, but it also offers a sustainable and eco-friendly solution for staying hydrated on the go. One of the standout features of the Hydrojug Pro is its food-grade polypropylene construction. This material is BPA-free and dishwasher safe, making it a safe and easy-to-clean option for your daily hydration needs. The wide mouth opening also helps prevent spills, making it a convenient and practical choice for busy individuals. However, the Hydrojug Pro is not without its drawbacks. Some users have reported issues with leaks or the lid popping open when the bottle is tipped over. While these problems are relatively minor, they may be something to consider if you plan to use the bottle frequently or need a more secure seal. In conclusion, the Hydrojug Pro Water Bottle is a stylish and practical choice for those looking to improve their hydration habits. Its generous capacity, sleek design, and eco-friendly construction make it a popular choice among users. While there are a few minor drawbacks to consider, the overall benefits of this bottle make it a worthy investment for those looking to stay hydrated and healthy. 🔗The Ultimate Hydration Bottle for Fitness Enthusiastshttps://preview.redd.it/aj7sh2db8c3d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e6107e54bcb777fcf787c04285ff2537f2b9627d Imagine sipping from the perfect water bottle, whether you're at the gym or on the go. The GYM KEG is more than just a water bottle; it's your reliable companion in staying hydrated. Its mighty 3.78-liter capacity is perfect for those intense gym sessions or long days at the office. One feature that stood out is the all-in-one design. The GYM KEG comes with a straw lid, a classic lid for spill-free sipping, a carry strap for easy transportation, and motivational time markers guiding your daily hydration goals. The design variety for both men and women is a bonus. Constructed with featherlight, BPA-free plastic, this bottle doesn't weigh you down while respecting Mother Earth. It also doesn't affect the taste of your water or compromise your health. My experience? Initially, the GYM KEG made me feel like a planet warrior, staying hydrated in style. But as time went on, I noticed that the clips connecting the bottle to the lanyard were prone to disconnect, once causing a disappointing drop to the ground while full. If you're planning to use the lanyard, be forewarned. Overall, the GYM KEG is a worthy addition to your gym or everyday life if you can handle the occasional disconnected clip situation. Keep your eyes on the prize - hydration! 🔗Large Capacity Water Bottle with Time Marker for Daily Hydrationhttps://preview.redd.it/wt9uxdrb8c3d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=68dff80dbdbf4d6cfe3ce117786e2dcecd9a0183 I've been using the BuildLife gallon water bottle as my daily water companion, and it's been a game-changer for me. The unique time marker on the exterior has been a great way to monitor my daily water intake effortlessly. It comes in several colors, so you can pick your favorite and make it look special when you work out in the gym. One of the best things about this water jug is how easy it is to use - just attach the nozzle, and you're good to go. The high-quality nylon strap is durable enough for everyday use and adds a good feel to it when you grasp it. Another thing I appreciate is how easy it is to clean, using only handwash with baking soda and vinegar. This 72 oz water bottle is perfect for hydrating after any workout, and its time marking system helps keep me on track. And the best part is that it's BPA-free and non-toxic, perfect for indoor and outdoor adventures. 🔗Durable 72 Oz Military Grade Water Bottlehttps://preview.redd.it/u3emjf6c8c3d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d76e105c81cb84369c23ca0ffe609df3b19ef6ec As someone who frequently embarks on outdoor adventures, I recently stumbled across the Hydro Gallon Tactical gallon water bottle and it's quickly become an essential part of my gear collection. The military-grade sleeve not only adds a touch of toughness to the bottle, but also makes it extremely durable and capable of withstanding rough handling. I particularly appreciate the reusable design, which not only helps reduce plastic waste, but makes it easy to refill as well. One of the standout features of this water bottle is the vacuum insulation, which ensures that the water stays cool even when left in the sun for extended periods. This has been incredibly useful during hot summer days when staying hydrated becomes even more important. The wide mouth is another great feature that allows for easy cleaning and the addition of ice cubes when desired. However, there are a couple of areas where the Hydro Gallon Tactical could use some improvement. Firstly, while the shoulder straps are convenient for carrying, the backpack straps could be a bit more comfortable for extended use, despite having a big pocket with a zipper for added convenience. Overall, the Hydro Gallon Tactical is a fantastic water bottle that has really upped the quality of my hydration during outdoor activities. Its durability, insulation, and reusable design make it a great choice for anyone seeking a reliable and functional water bottle for their adventures. 🔗Stylish and Insulated 1 Gallon Water Bottle with Time Markershttps://preview.redd.it/4clorcgc8c3d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=dda356ab02a3d119fa561f6e24fc4068db868f38 Using the Hydro Gallon Bottle in my daily life has been a game-changer. The first thing that caught my attention was the big handle, which made carrying around this 72 oz water bottle a breeze. The insulated sleeve also kept my water cool for hours, no matter how scorching the weather was. The double pocket was incredibly useful for storing essentials like keys, phone, or even snacks on the go. However, the time markers were something I found quite motivating, as it helped me keep track of my water intake and stay hydrated throughout the day. The straw lid was a great addition for those times when I wanted a sip without stopping, and the spout lid made it perfect for pouring water into a cup or pitcher. The adjustable and removable shoulder strap was a lifesaver when I needed to carry the bottle hands-free. Overall, this BPA-free, leakproof, 128-fluid-ounce bottle is designed with convenience and practicality in mind. Although it comes with an extra component of plastic packaging, it's nice to know that the bottle itself is reusable to reduce waste and protect the environment. 🔗Large 1-Gallon Water Bottle with Time Marker and BPA-Free Designhttps://preview.redd.it/035kjecd8c3d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6c6e0136c3de65fcab3a6db81ea09366e33fa883 When I first started using the Otten Water Bottle, I was initially drawn to its unique time marker on the exterior that helped me monitor my daily water intake effortlessly. The big capacity, at 1 gallon or 128 ounces, made it a delight to fill up and ensure I was properly hydrated throughout the day. The wide enough mouth allowed me to easily add ice cubes and even fruits like lemon or orange, making my water healthier and more enjoyable to drink. One of the key highlights for me was the easy-to-clean design, thanks to the ergonomicstrap for easier transportation and a better grip. Overall, this bottle has been a lifesaver when it comes to staying hydrated during exercise or even on the go. The high-quality nylon strap and durable handle design have made it a convenient and comfortable option to carry with me everywhere. While the product is BPA Free and leak proof, I found that I needed to be careful when washing it as it is hand wash only, and I'd recommend using a mixture of baking soda and vinegar for a more thorough clean. The glossy finish has held up well over time, and the 1 gallon capacity has proved to be both practical and eco-friendly for my lifestyle. 🔗Stainless Steel Water Bottle with Insulated Designhttps://preview.redd.it/f9l545zd8c3d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5acacbf7f2e9477e559234bf4bf891aa5c48399e For the past few weeks, I've been using the AMDISIC 128oz Insulated Water Bottle and let me tell you, it's been a game-changer in my daily life! The double-walled, 18/8 food-grade stainless steel keeps my drinks ice-cold for up to 48 hours, perfect for those hot summer days. The 1-gallon capacity is just right for outdoor activities like camping or hiking, and it's even great for workouts at the gym. One feature that stood out for me is its leak-proof design. I've had other water bottles in the past where the cap would easily come off, and I'd be left with a mess to clean up. But with the AMDISIC bottle, not a single drop of water escapes, thanks to its rubber seal rings. Additionally, the bottle's material is rust-proof, BPA-free, lead-free, and even resistant to corrosion. It's easy to clean, making it a safe and reliable choice for everyday use. The 2.1-inch wide mouth makes filling with ice cubes a breeze, and the extra adjustable brush makes it easy to clean the bottle inside and out. However, there's one drawback – the product is only hand washable. But overall, I'm quite satisfied with this large water jug. It's well-built, practical, and an ideal companion for any outdoor adventure (or workout for that matter! ). 🔗Insulated 22-40 oz Water Bottle with Straw Lid and Wide Mouthhttps://preview.redd.it/h6jl26ce8c3d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1b8b567f2a95ae6cae06bb3f3797fad6440cd74c When it comes to staying hydrated, having a sturdy and reliable water bottle makes all the difference in my daily routine. I recently tried out the AMITER Insulated Water Bottle and let me tell you, it's been a game changer. From the very first sip, its wide mouth straw lid impressed me. It's conveniently designed to make it simple to fill with ice and fruits, cleaning also becomes a breeze with the wide mouth. Even better, it comes with two lids - a spout for fast water flow and a straw that lets you sip effortlessly. Oh, and the sweat-free design? A life-saver - especially on hot summer days, it prevents your hands from getting wet! The vacuum insulation feature also adds to the convenience. I can keep my water cold for up to 24 hours, which is perfect for long road trips or outdoor activities. Although the bottle has a wide capacity, it maintains its leak-proof properties, thanks to the upgraded food grade silicone O-ring. It's reassuring to know I don't have to worry about spilling in my bag or when I carry it in my car. Plus, it's made of premium stainless steel material that's rust-resistant, BPA-free, and lead-free. It tastes great and it's recyclable, a win-win situation! My only complaint is with the "hand wash only" instruction. It seems a bit out of place on a water bottle, especially since it's safe to use in the dishwasher. But other than that, the AMITER Insulated Water Bottle certainly ticks a lot of boxes for me. It offers the convenience, capacity, and durability I was looking for, all wrapped up in an appealing design. Highly recommendable! 🔗Large BPA-Free Black Water Bottle for Sportshttps://preview.redd.it/yds6cate8c3d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7c73afe379785ad1b3890decec9719012e28cd53 I've been using the Sports Black Water Bottle for a few weeks now, and it has become my go-to bottle for workouts and daily hydration. The 74 oz capacity is a real game-changer, as I don't have to refill it as often as I used to with smaller bottles. The innovative storage compartment comes in handy for stashing small items like my phone or a protein bar. One feature that particularly stood out for me is the leak-proof design. Despite my occasional clumsiness, I've never had an accident with this bottle – no leaking or spills to worry about. BPA-free material adds an extra layer of comfort in knowing that I'm not consuming any questionable chemicals. However, there are a few drawbacks to consider. For one, the bottle lacks insulation, so it can cool down quickly, especially on hot days. And while I appreciate the silky strap for comfort, it also seems to be prone to slipping off my shoulder. Lastly, some users have found that it's a bit too large to fit their phones in the storage compartment. Overall, the Sports Black Water Bottle has been a dependable companion in my daily life. It has its quirks, but the pros seem to outweigh the cons, making it a worthwhile purchase for those who appreciate functionality and practicality. 🔗Durable 4 Pound Water Bottle for Travel, Fitness and Outdoor Adventures - Shatterproof, Dishwasher Safe and BPA-Freehttps://preview.redd.it/bo2c093f8c3d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ba2009dacfe09e78f3032d1d1b9a69d032b3be4a I've been using the HydroJug 73 oz Pro Jug in Slate Grey for a few months now, and it's impressive how much it's transformed my daily water consumption. The 73-ounce capacity is perfect for my active lifestyle, as I don't have to worry about refilling it every hour. What really stands out is the thick carry loop that makes it a breeze to haul around the gym or even for a day hike. The shatterproof material is not only durable but also gives me peace of mind when it comes to accidental drops. The only thing that I must mention is the potential for leaks. It seems that the lid might not be as secure as I'd like, causing some spillage when the bottle is tipped over. However, it hasn't posed too much of a problem for me thus far. Another minor issue is the cleaning process – hand wash only, which might not be the most convenient for some users. All in all, the HydroJug Pro Jug is an excellent choice for those seeking a stylish, functional, and durable water bottle. It's also an eco-friendly option, which is a huge plus. The only downside is the difficulty in opening and closing the lid, but once you get the hang of it, it becomes quite manageable. I'd certainly recommend the HydroJug Pro to anyone looking to up their daily water consumption in style. 🔗Large 72 Oz Reusable Sports Water Bottle for Gym & Outdoorshttps://preview.redd.it/elcwnahf8c3d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0b5175b03ec87ea0d219c93d78c679dae3e6d4a6 This large capacity sports water bottle, perfect for a day at the gym, hike, or beach, is made of high-quality BPA-free food grade plastic. With a convenient pop-up spout for easy drinking and a leakproof design, this bottle is perfect for staying hydrated throughout your day. The handle is a great addition for easy carrying whether you're in the office, at a sporting event, or on a long hike. The 2.2-liter capacity is large enough to keep you hydrated, but the oval shape makes it easy to hold in your hand or in a car. Unfortunately, some users found the bottle to be smaller than expected and less durable than they hoped. Overall, it's a convenient and hydration-focused bottle, just be prepared for its flimsiness and potential leaking issues. 🔗Stay Hydrated with the 1 Gallon Water Bottle - Ombre Green and Pinkhttps://preview.redd.it/zn3ontrf8c3d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e82c97baab053c27ae65cf8f02249d0ada1c5737 When I was on a mission to stay hydrated and boost my productivity, I stumbled across the Hydration Nation 1 Gallon Water Bottle with Motivational Time Reminder. Its eye-catching Ombre green and pink design is perfect for adding a pop of color to my daily routine, but what stood out the most is its supportive approach to helping me reach my drinking goals. One of the most useful features I discovered is the water bottle's time reminder. It encourages me to sip and stay on track with a daily target, making it a useful tool for habit formation. However, the ergonomic, nonslip strap was a surprising letdown. It didn't live up to its advertised promise of providing comfort and ease during use. Another standout feature is the premium BPA-free material. Not only is it transparent, making it easy to monitor my hydration levels, but it's also lightweight and durable, ensuring that this super water bottle will last me through any adventure. 🔗Insulated 1-Gallon Water Bottle with Straw and Spout for Hydration on the Gohttps://preview.redd.it/u3zzco7g8c3d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c9cecccb2d442526c3a5c0b2228642778ee250db I recently had the pleasure of using the Hydro Gallon 1-gallon water bottle, and I must say, it's a game-changer. I've always been a fan of having enough water to last through my busy day, and this bottle truly delivers. The insulated neoprene sleeve adds not only a sleek design but also keeps the water cool for hours. Holding 128 oz of liquid, it's perfect for those who need to stay hydrated throughout the day. The big handle makes it simple to carry around, while the straw and spout lid ensure a mess-free drinking experience. Plus, the adjustable and removable shoulder strap is perfect for those who want to take it on the go. Overall, this bottle is a 5-star must-have for anyone who's looking for a reliable and practical way to stay hydrated. 🔗Stylish 72 Oz Water Bottle with Pop-Up Dispenserhttps://preview.redd.it/z9wtwhig8c3d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6001d6683b85c8f04938cad77ae8837dc472ee36 I recently started using the ETDW gallon water bottle, and it has become my best friend in staying hydrated. The time marker on the bottle reminds me to drink water every hour, which has helped me keep on track with my daily hydration goals. The lid is leak-proof, and the straw makes it convenient to sip from it while I'm on the go. What stood out to me is the BPA-free, food-grade PETg plastic material. It provides a sturdy and lightweight solution to my water intake needs without any hazardous chemicals. The wide mouth allows me to add ice or fruit easily, making my water taste even more refreshing. The water bottle is durable, and its nylon strap and handle make it comfortable to carry. It has been a great companion on my outdoor adventures, at the gym, and even at the office. However, I noticed that it's not dishwasher safe, which means I have to hand wash it, but that's a small price to pay for a high-quality, eco-friendly, and functional product. All in all, the ETDW gallon water bottle has been a game-changer in my daily life, and I highly recommend it to anyone who wants to stay hydrated and healthy. Buyer's GuideFinding the right 72 oz water bottle can make all the difference in quenching your thirst throughout the day. With so many options available, it can be overwhelming to determine which one is the best fit for your needs. This buyer's guide will help you understand the essential features to consider when purchasing a 72 oz water bottle, as well as provide general advice to ensure you make the right decision.Size and Capacityhttps://preview.redd.it/tep2zy0h8c3d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=67d887167ec6fce71d7de52ee61e39a668a094f2 The most crucial aspect of a 72 oz water bottle is its capacity. This bottle size is perfect for those who drink a lot of water throughout the day or for outdoor activities like hiking or camping. Make sure the bottle meets your specific needs in terms of volume and weight. Consider your hand's ergonomics as well, as you'll be carrying it around all day. Materials and DurabilityA high-quality water bottle should be made from durable materials such as stainless steel, insulated glass, or BPA-free plastics. These materials will not only ensure a longer lifespan but will also maintain the taste, odor, and temperature of the water inside. Double-walled insulation is also beneficial for keeping hot drinks hot and cold drinks cold for an extended period.Leak-Proof and Spill-Proof DesignA leak-proof and spill-proof design is essential for a 72 oz water bottle. Look for bottles with secure lids and reliable seals that won't allow any liquids to escape, even when the bottle is accidentally tipped over. A wide mouth opening can also make it easier to clean and refill the bottle without spilling. https://preview.redd.it/zl5xyvdh8c3d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=52983df79deb4f71ec0300b9f6a39eba9a11a284 Portability and ComfortA good 72 oz water bottle should be easy to carry around and comfortable to hold. Consider the weight of the water bottle when full and choose one that can fit comfortably in your hand or bag. Opt for bottles with carrying loops or straps for added convenience. Additionally, look for bottles with ergonomic shapes or handles to ensure a pleasant grip even during long activities.Environmental ConsiderationsChoose a 72 oz water bottle made from environmentally friendly materials, such as recyclable or biodegradable plastics. If you're concerned about sustainability, consider investing in a bottle that can be refilled multiple times to reduce waste.Maintenance and Cleaninghttps://preview.redd.it/rv8i3juh8c3d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e03edb2dba4038deb3e965d0ee9bc4450e94ce52 A good water bottle should be easy to clean and maintain. Look for bottles with wide mouth openings that allow for thorough cleaning. Check if the bottle is dishwasher safe or if it requires hand washing. Remember to clean the bottle regularly to avoid any odors or bacterial growth. Price and WarrantyDetermine your budget and consider the value for money when purchasing a 72 oz water bottle. Look for bottles with reasonable prices and available warranties. A good warranty can provide peace of mind and protection in case of any defects or damages.When searching for the perfect 72 oz water bottle, consider the bottle's size and capacity, as well as its materials and durability. Make sure it has a leak-proof and spill-proof design, ensuring portability and user comfort. Take environmental considerations into account and prioritize ease of maintenance and cleaning. Finally, be mindful of your budget and warranty protection, and you'll have the right 72 oz water bottle for your needs. FAQhttps://preview.redd.it/8xdth5li8c3d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f44a6074bc0081f9ffaf57795e6058d42e8543f8 What is a 72 oz water bottle and how is it beneficial?A 72 oz water bottle, also known as a 2-liter water bottle, is a large capacity container designed to hold a significant amount of liquid. The main benefit of using a 72 oz water bottle is that it helps individuals stay adequately hydrated throughout the day, especially those who are physically active or need to consume a substantial amount of water for health reasons.What is the typical size and weight of a 72 oz water bottle?The size of a 72 oz water bottle typically measures around 11 inches in height with a 3-inch diameter at the base. As for the weight, it can range between 1.5 to 2.5 pounds (depending on the material used), making it portable and easy to carry around.What materials are used to make a 72 oz water bottle?Various materials are utilized to manufacture 72 oz water bottles, including:
Do 72 oz water bottles have any insulation to keep the water cold or hot?Yes, many 72 oz water bottles come equipped with insulation to help maintain the temperature of the liquid within. This insulation can be in the form of a double-walled container or vacuum technology, which prevents heat transfer to keep your beverage cold or hot for an extended period.Are there any restrictions on the usage of a 72 oz water bottle in public places?While there are no universal restrictions on using a 72 oz water bottle in public places, some event organizers or schools may have specific rules or guidelines regarding the size and type of containers used. It is essential to check with your local venue or establishment to determine if there are any restrictions in place.How do I clean a 72 oz water bottle?Cleaning a 72 oz water bottle is relatively easy. Most bottles can be disassembled for cleaning, and the components are typically dishwasher safe. Be sure to read the user manual for specific cleaning instructions, and consider using a bottle brush for optimal cleaning.Are there any warranty or guarantee options available for a 72 oz water bottle?Warranty or guarantee options may vary depending on the manufacturer and the type of water bottle. Some companies offer lifelong warranties that cover manufacturing defects, while others may have a limited warranty period for replacement. It is best to check the manufacturer's website or contact them directly to learn more about warranty or guarantee options for the specific 72 oz water bottle you are interested in.As an Amazon™ Associate, we earn from qualifying purchases. |
2024.05.29 11:51 Effective-Baker-8353 Is it possible to evaluate the ethics of longterm ripple effects of actions?
Usually actions are judged on the basis of a very limited time frame. The farther out you look, the more unanticipated or unforeseen consequences appear. The ripple effects are numerous and wide ranging.
A related question is about the time frame of the considerations. How far out do you look? If you are really concerned about the effects of your actions, then more distant effects need to be taken into consideration, not just the very confined immediate effects. The scope needs to be broadened.
The very longterm consequences cannot truly be known. And the future is much longer than usually taken into account. If we are not just concerned with the next quarter, or the next year, but decades out, then things look different.
And why stop at decades? What about centuries? What about thousands and millions of years? Or billions of years?
To take the totality of future effects into consideration, one can consider even much wider time frames, out to trillions of trillions of years and beyond.
Where does that leave ethical evaluations of actions and their secondary, tertiary, and subsequent ripple effects? Even within a fairly limited time frame, there are often too many unforeseen aftereffects, including all the psychological ones. As the time frame broadens, they multiply.
The scope of effects, and the types of effects can also be broadened beyond the usual narrow focus.
submitted by Effective-Baker-8353 to Ethics [link] [comments]
A related question is about the time frame of the considerations. How far out do you look? If you are really concerned about the effects of your actions, then more distant effects need to be taken into consideration, not just the very confined immediate effects. The scope needs to be broadened.
The very longterm consequences cannot truly be known. And the future is much longer than usually taken into account. If we are not just concerned with the next quarter, or the next year, but decades out, then things look different.
And why stop at decades? What about centuries? What about thousands and millions of years? Or billions of years?
To take the totality of future effects into consideration, one can consider even much wider time frames, out to trillions of trillions of years and beyond.
Where does that leave ethical evaluations of actions and their secondary, tertiary, and subsequent ripple effects? Even within a fairly limited time frame, there are often too many unforeseen aftereffects, including all the psychological ones. As the time frame broadens, they multiply.
The scope of effects, and the types of effects can also be broadened beyond the usual narrow focus.
2024.05.29 11:50 UnicornsnRainbowz The Types and Their Role in a Major Disaster/Apocalypse Extrovert Edition (Fun)
This is for fun. This is what roles the extroverted types would provide and also what they’d struggle with when SHTF. I’ll do a separate introverts one so don’t make the wall of text too long.
I’ve also below put what roles they’d provide in a group setting. I’ve put the introverts in this list too but will elaborate on the introverts list.
ENFJ: Strengths: Providing emotional support to the group, coming up with ways that can make the experience more pleasant for everyone considering the circumstances.
Weaknesses: Taking responsibility for the group direction would make them feel uncomfortable, fixing things that are broke would not be their forte, strategising may be difficult especially if they are the sole strategised.
ENFP: Strengths: Coming up with useful ideas on where to find supplies, keeping the group entertained, chipping in whether help is needed as they pick up skills easy
Weaknesses: Not good at observing changes and dangers that may affect the group, difficulty keeping the living quarters tidy, will not blindly follow orders
ENTJ: Strengths: offering practical solutions to issues as they arise, taking leadership especially in stressful situations, knowing if a mission is a good or bad idea and taking accountability for making that decision
Weaknesses: Struggling to be able to provide emotional support to others, being too rigid with their thinking and not taking others views into consideration, may come across as insensitive or blunt.
ENTP: Strengths: Able to actively use their practical skills in real time, see many points of views and possibilities, appreciate that new ideas could be the new success story.
Weaknesses: May struggle to accept orders from a leader, likely to be distractable and lose focus, may become argumentative if their thinking is challenged and they perceive it to be a slight.
ESFJ: Strengths: Able to organise and keep the living quarters in order, happy to help out in any way they can, likely good at cooking or crafting things.
Weaknesses: Struggles with conflict and high stress situations, difficulty making decisions on behalf of the group, can be quite traditional and may struggle to accept new ways of doing things.
ESFP: Strengths: will uplift the group when morale is low, usually willing to take risks others are not comfortable with, good practical skills which makes them an all rounder for fixing as well as scouting for things in a dangerous situation.
Weaknesses: Easily bored so make become low of mood when boredom sets in, not very good and sticking to a plan, sometimes doesn’t take things seriously even when the situation calls for it.
ESTJ: Strengths: Incredibly reliable and if they say they are going to do something they will usually do it, great organiser and delegator, will make tough decisions using logic and practicality for the group.
Weaknesses: Can be quite blunt and dismissive of others opinions if they think the other hasn’t thought things through, struggles with uncertainty which may make them easily stressed in an ever changing situation, can be prone to arrogance and taking over even when input isn’t asked for.
ESTP: Strengths: Able to take feelings into account but not be ruled by them, passionate about their beliefs and interests, usually good on their feet which makes them able to protect and act quickly.
Weaknesses: Can become frustrated when people become overly emotional, are easily offended if they aren’t listened to or appreciated, act on impulse so often makes rash decisions.
Group Roles: - Leader: ESTJ -Co Leader: ENTP - Cook: ESFJ - Look after any pets: INFP - In charge of sustainable: ENTJ - medic: ISFJ - Counsellor: INFJ - Artist / Musician: ISFP - Provides Education: ISTJ - Crafte Maker: ISTP - EnGineer / Electrician: INTJ - Fighter / Protector: ESTP - Entertaine Morale Boost: ENFP - Scouter / Explorer: ESFP - Strategist: INTP - Organiser of Living Quarters: ENFJ
submitted by UnicornsnRainbowz to mbti [link] [comments]
I’ve also below put what roles they’d provide in a group setting. I’ve put the introverts in this list too but will elaborate on the introverts list.
ENFJ: Strengths: Providing emotional support to the group, coming up with ways that can make the experience more pleasant for everyone considering the circumstances.
Weaknesses: Taking responsibility for the group direction would make them feel uncomfortable, fixing things that are broke would not be their forte, strategising may be difficult especially if they are the sole strategised.
ENFP: Strengths: Coming up with useful ideas on where to find supplies, keeping the group entertained, chipping in whether help is needed as they pick up skills easy
Weaknesses: Not good at observing changes and dangers that may affect the group, difficulty keeping the living quarters tidy, will not blindly follow orders
ENTJ: Strengths: offering practical solutions to issues as they arise, taking leadership especially in stressful situations, knowing if a mission is a good or bad idea and taking accountability for making that decision
Weaknesses: Struggling to be able to provide emotional support to others, being too rigid with their thinking and not taking others views into consideration, may come across as insensitive or blunt.
ENTP: Strengths: Able to actively use their practical skills in real time, see many points of views and possibilities, appreciate that new ideas could be the new success story.
Weaknesses: May struggle to accept orders from a leader, likely to be distractable and lose focus, may become argumentative if their thinking is challenged and they perceive it to be a slight.
ESFJ: Strengths: Able to organise and keep the living quarters in order, happy to help out in any way they can, likely good at cooking or crafting things.
Weaknesses: Struggles with conflict and high stress situations, difficulty making decisions on behalf of the group, can be quite traditional and may struggle to accept new ways of doing things.
ESFP: Strengths: will uplift the group when morale is low, usually willing to take risks others are not comfortable with, good practical skills which makes them an all rounder for fixing as well as scouting for things in a dangerous situation.
Weaknesses: Easily bored so make become low of mood when boredom sets in, not very good and sticking to a plan, sometimes doesn’t take things seriously even when the situation calls for it.
ESTJ: Strengths: Incredibly reliable and if they say they are going to do something they will usually do it, great organiser and delegator, will make tough decisions using logic and practicality for the group.
Weaknesses: Can be quite blunt and dismissive of others opinions if they think the other hasn’t thought things through, struggles with uncertainty which may make them easily stressed in an ever changing situation, can be prone to arrogance and taking over even when input isn’t asked for.
ESTP: Strengths: Able to take feelings into account but not be ruled by them, passionate about their beliefs and interests, usually good on their feet which makes them able to protect and act quickly.
Weaknesses: Can become frustrated when people become overly emotional, are easily offended if they aren’t listened to or appreciated, act on impulse so often makes rash decisions.
Group Roles: - Leader: ESTJ -Co Leader: ENTP - Cook: ESFJ - Look after any pets: INFP - In charge of sustainable: ENTJ - medic: ISFJ - Counsellor: INFJ - Artist / Musician: ISFP - Provides Education: ISTJ - Crafte Maker: ISTP - EnGineer / Electrician: INTJ - Fighter / Protector: ESTP - Entertaine Morale Boost: ENFP - Scouter / Explorer: ESFP - Strategist: INTP - Organiser of Living Quarters: ENFJ
2024.05.29 11:49 AbbreviationsDry1179 How to achieve glass skin
 | IntroductionTaking care of your skin is more important now than ever before. In today's image-focused world, having clear, glowing skin can significantly boost your confidence and overall well-being. This skincare guide will provide you with the knowledge and tools to care for your unique skin type. By following these tips, you can:
Lifestyle / HabitsLifestyle Factors for Healthy SkinCaring for your skin goes beyond just a skincare routine. Your lifestyle choices play a big role in skin health, too. Here are some important factors to keep in mind:
Treating AcneAcne is a common skin condition that occurs when pores become clogged with oil and dead skin cells, leading to whiteheads, blackheads, pimples, or cysts. Here are the different types of acne:
Recommended Cycle for Acne TreatmentWeek 1:
Alternatives for Acne Treatment
Skin Brightening II (Glass Skin)Glass skin is the latest Korean beauty trend focused on achieving luminous, transparent skin that appears poreless and perfectly smooth like glass.
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2024.05.29 11:44 QuietTemperature7266 My partner’s ill health is ruining my life
I’m using a throwaway because I really don’t want people from my life to see this and they know my main. I’d like to preface by saying, I know how selfish this is going to sound. These are just my internal thoughts. I would never voice them anywhere else or allow this to affect how I love and care for my boyfriend.
My partner doesn’t keep in good health. He has a life long chronic condition that is very difficult to manage at times. On top of this, he is also very injury prone and breaks bones often as he plays sports.
Every time he has a big injury or a bad flare up it takes a toll on me. I know it’s just coincidental but the biggest events seem to happen at the worst time, and I end up having to sideline my life to step up and take care of him. Which, again, I do. And I am happy to do it. I am just tired.
A couple of years ago he was in and out of hospital constantly, for weeks at a time. It was during lockdown and I was alone. It was hard. Then, I was hospitalised with a life threatening condition, again during lockdown. That same day, he was taken in for a massive surgery. I was alone again, in hospital, without him. As he was too. Then when he was released I had put my illness to one side to take care of him, as he was much less able than me. I wasn’t not sick, just differently sick.
There was some respite after that. I went back to school to finish my degree. Exam time rolls up and he breaks his leg playing soccer - badly. This required constant care from me, again.
Last year, my best friend committed suicide. It was horrific. A week later, he broke his collar bone playing soccer. Once again, I have to put my life aside to care for him. I couldn’t even grieve. I had to be up and on top of everything every day. I had no time to just sit with my grief, no one to take care of me. No one to make my food or do my laundry or bring me tea. It was the worst I’ve ever felt and I honestly felt like ending it right there. This isn’t every single time something has happened, just the ones that hurt the most.
Now, some time has passed. I’m getting better. I’m dealing with my loss, I have graduated. I have tickets for a huge, once in a lifetime event that I feel I’ve been waiting my whole life for. I have been planning it for years and I’ve spent a lot of money. Also I have a holiday booked with my friends that I am so ready for. This is all happening over one week. One single week out of the year I have these plans.
My partner has been called in for some checks and will likely need another surgery, a week before my only plans for the entire year are about to happen. I just don’t know how to do this. Of course, I will cancel everything and be there for him. I always would, without a second thought. But this is so hard for me.
My life is constantly sidelined and by some cruel design, always at the worst possible moments for me. I am not going to lie, it is so so hard. I can’t stop crying at the thought of cancelling everything I’ve been looking forward to after this horrific year and I feel like the worst person in the world for even thinking half of this. I’m worried sick about him and I just want him to be okay.
But I am so tired.
submitted by QuietTemperature7266 to TrueOffMyChest [link] [comments]
My partner doesn’t keep in good health. He has a life long chronic condition that is very difficult to manage at times. On top of this, he is also very injury prone and breaks bones often as he plays sports.
Every time he has a big injury or a bad flare up it takes a toll on me. I know it’s just coincidental but the biggest events seem to happen at the worst time, and I end up having to sideline my life to step up and take care of him. Which, again, I do. And I am happy to do it. I am just tired.
A couple of years ago he was in and out of hospital constantly, for weeks at a time. It was during lockdown and I was alone. It was hard. Then, I was hospitalised with a life threatening condition, again during lockdown. That same day, he was taken in for a massive surgery. I was alone again, in hospital, without him. As he was too. Then when he was released I had put my illness to one side to take care of him, as he was much less able than me. I wasn’t not sick, just differently sick.
There was some respite after that. I went back to school to finish my degree. Exam time rolls up and he breaks his leg playing soccer - badly. This required constant care from me, again.
Last year, my best friend committed suicide. It was horrific. A week later, he broke his collar bone playing soccer. Once again, I have to put my life aside to care for him. I couldn’t even grieve. I had to be up and on top of everything every day. I had no time to just sit with my grief, no one to take care of me. No one to make my food or do my laundry or bring me tea. It was the worst I’ve ever felt and I honestly felt like ending it right there. This isn’t every single time something has happened, just the ones that hurt the most.
Now, some time has passed. I’m getting better. I’m dealing with my loss, I have graduated. I have tickets for a huge, once in a lifetime event that I feel I’ve been waiting my whole life for. I have been planning it for years and I’ve spent a lot of money. Also I have a holiday booked with my friends that I am so ready for. This is all happening over one week. One single week out of the year I have these plans.
My partner has been called in for some checks and will likely need another surgery, a week before my only plans for the entire year are about to happen. I just don’t know how to do this. Of course, I will cancel everything and be there for him. I always would, without a second thought. But this is so hard for me.
My life is constantly sidelined and by some cruel design, always at the worst possible moments for me. I am not going to lie, it is so so hard. I can’t stop crying at the thought of cancelling everything I’ve been looking forward to after this horrific year and I feel like the worst person in the world for even thinking half of this. I’m worried sick about him and I just want him to be okay.
But I am so tired.
2024.05.29 11:40 PunCala Here's my AS Noc build with 82% win rate so far over 22 games this season
Proof: https://imgur.com/a/w3TLGdc
I've been one tricking attack speed (AS) Nocturne for several years now (least up to Emerald) and the current items seem to work really well. This season I was placed into Gold 4 and currently I'm in Gold 1. Core build:
Runes: Press the attack, secondaries Demolish and Conditioning. Items: Stridebreaker, Kraken slayer, then situationally: BotRK, Guardian Angel, Death's Dance, Kaenic Rookern etc. Summs: Smite + Flash, but Smite + Ghost situationally if enemy team has: Vayne, Hecarim, Kindred, Morde. Bans: Lillia
Playstyle: if I know I'm stronger lvl 3 than the enemy jungler, I will always invade them at their second buff. Even if I have Ghost and they have Flash, I will invade and chase them away, then steal their camps and disrupt their clear. The only champions that are stronger than Noc at lvl 3 are: Xin, Warwick, and Rengar (+Darius but he's rarely seen in jungle). Trundle is only strong if you fight him in his W. Not worth invading due to mobility: Kayn, Bel'Veth, Talon, Elise, and Shaco. If the invade is succesful, you can often transition into taking their remaining camps into ganking a side lane.
First back I buy Tiamat, then follow the build above. This build scales well into late game and I can 1v1 all but the biggest hyperscalers.
If game is close or my side is winning, I play pretty normally: clearing, ganking, invading. But if my team is losing, I elect to give objectives for pushing waves and getting turrets. If my team is losing, I split push and knowledge check the enemy team. Sometimes I even give up baron for splitting. This playstyle is very macro oriented so it's not for everyone. I do very high damage to turrets every single game (top 0.1%).
If you're curious about this strategy, I recommend trying it out.
Side note: PTA is overtuned at the moment, that's why it's stronger on AS Noc than Conqueror. If they nerf PTA then I will revert back to Conqueror. Hail of Blades seems to be a bit bad, it only works well early game. Side note #2: I think Experimental Hexplate is a complete bait item for Noc. I know it's the most built item on Noc, but it feels so bad and weak and too much focused on early game. Even Agurin, the challenger jungler, talked about it on his stream that he thinks it's a bait item.
submitted by PunCala to nocturnemains [link] [comments]
I've been one tricking attack speed (AS) Nocturne for several years now (least up to Emerald) and the current items seem to work really well. This season I was placed into Gold 4 and currently I'm in Gold 1. Core build:
Runes: Press the attack, secondaries Demolish and Conditioning. Items: Stridebreaker, Kraken slayer, then situationally: BotRK, Guardian Angel, Death's Dance, Kaenic Rookern etc. Summs: Smite + Flash, but Smite + Ghost situationally if enemy team has: Vayne, Hecarim, Kindred, Morde. Bans: Lillia
Playstyle: if I know I'm stronger lvl 3 than the enemy jungler, I will always invade them at their second buff. Even if I have Ghost and they have Flash, I will invade and chase them away, then steal their camps and disrupt their clear. The only champions that are stronger than Noc at lvl 3 are: Xin, Warwick, and Rengar (+Darius but he's rarely seen in jungle). Trundle is only strong if you fight him in his W. Not worth invading due to mobility: Kayn, Bel'Veth, Talon, Elise, and Shaco. If the invade is succesful, you can often transition into taking their remaining camps into ganking a side lane.
First back I buy Tiamat, then follow the build above. This build scales well into late game and I can 1v1 all but the biggest hyperscalers.
If game is close or my side is winning, I play pretty normally: clearing, ganking, invading. But if my team is losing, I elect to give objectives for pushing waves and getting turrets. If my team is losing, I split push and knowledge check the enemy team. Sometimes I even give up baron for splitting. This playstyle is very macro oriented so it's not for everyone. I do very high damage to turrets every single game (top 0.1%).
If you're curious about this strategy, I recommend trying it out.
Side note: PTA is overtuned at the moment, that's why it's stronger on AS Noc than Conqueror. If they nerf PTA then I will revert back to Conqueror. Hail of Blades seems to be a bit bad, it only works well early game. Side note #2: I think Experimental Hexplate is a complete bait item for Noc. I know it's the most built item on Noc, but it feels so bad and weak and too much focused on early game. Even Agurin, the challenger jungler, talked about it on his stream that he thinks it's a bait item.
2024.05.29 11:35 CertainJump1784 I am too hesitant and lazy to discuss Yandere SG girls because the so called "TEIS Fans with Reading Comprehension" always saying they are NOT Yandere. So I repost other opinion who said almost TEIS Girls are yandere (I hope one of you can counter comments "Yandere TEIS Girls" ideas)
I know it's too long to read, But I need to discuss this with anyone (Mods or Not) because if TEIS Girls are not Yandere, then how come there are people who explains they are Yandere? They read novels like you too but they know more about yandere as well. (Please noted I am trying to be on "Not Yandere" side like you guys OKAY? Previously I agree they are Yandere but now I tried to contradict that idea but I don't know how to counter comment them. I once asked the mods about this but he/she told me it's best to ignore them.)
Yes it's like reading a long essay but you have to understand what happened.
According to u/Single-Ambassador951 :
"The anime is adapted from the Light Novel. It's confirmed that all shadow garden girls, including the harmless looking like Alpha, Gamma, Beta, etc. are Yandere."
According to u/The-Yaoi-Unicorn
" I wouldn't even say Eta is a yandere in that sense. Eta is just crazy, I would say she is crazy in love with him. But, you can give you counter examples and thus disprove him by saying "666" and "712" aren't ready to die and kill every single person on the planet in order to satisfy Shadow. Number 666 aka Rose Oriana has her own goals and mission. She works alongside Shadow Garden to fulfill them. If Shadow Garden told her to kill Cid or Claire then I doubt she would."
According to u/go-sparks25
" I’d say many of the shadow garden girls are fanatics when it comes to Shadow. That doesn’t make them yanderes. The only one I truly think is a yandere is Victoria and maybe Claire. "
According to u/Dependent-Entrance10
" Shadow Garden is a cult - of course most of these girls are madly devoted to Shadow in some way! I don't know if you don't know this but in their secret hideout, they built a massive statue of Shadow... I don't know how you can get more blatant than that."
There is also some person who says DELTA IS ALSO A YANDERE. Pick u/Remarkable-Role6590 here:
" In season 2, Delta kills her brother for suggesting her to work under a different person. I suppose that does count as yandere."
AND HERE ARE PEOPLE WHO DISAGREE THAT TEIS GIRLS ARE YANDERE.
According to u/Candid_Reception_341 :
A. According to u/jacquesrabbit :
Yandere (JPJapanese: ヤンデレ
Romaji: Yandere
Translation: Mentally Unstable Love) is a Japanese archetype used to define a character whose love, admiration, and devotion is so strong that it is expressed as an excessive obsession and possessiveness. They are often seen as characters that are crazily in love with someone.
They become so attached to their love interests so that it's impossible to let go. They entrust themselves to their love interest, trusting in their love interest's kindness. They probe the deepest recesses of their love interest's heart so as to more perfectly form their greatest self within their love interest. Some will go so far as to behave in immoral and troubling ways. They will not care about the negative effect that their behaviors can have to others, including their love interest, because they only care about their own feelings.
I guess Seven Shades does have some degree of yandere but cannot go fully berserk because they realize how strong Shadow is.
I guess in a way , Alpha did go yandere on Shadow when she realized Shadow was John Smith, but she couldn't defeat Shadow and became depressed after being left by Shadow.
However Claire, Alexia and rose oriana do have the potential to become yandere.
B. According to u/Accurate-Mind1145 (So far only AccurateMind that is not on "both sides")
The thing is. What can be defined as a yandere?
The two definitions are. (My opinion/my thoughts)
Someone who is completely obsessed with a person and wants to be with that and wants to have that person completely for themselves. Even if it means harming the person they are obsessed with. Or . Someone who has an insane amount of feelings for a person. So much that they can't live without that person. And would do anything for that person, even if it means harming themselves for them.
Now, the question is. Which definition people use for yandere. If we take the first option, then no one in the entire ties series is a yandere except for eta Or Sherry (but in Sherry's case, love if not involved). But if we take the second option, then many girls are yandere, because they would do anything for shadow/Cid even if it means committing suicide if he wants it. Or burning the world if he wants it. (Yes, by this definition, even gamma is a yandere because even she could not live without Cid).
Now pick, what do u think is a yandere. Who is a yandere depends on the definition.
(This is just my opinion) .
submitted by CertainJump1784 to TheEminenceInShadow [link] [comments]
Yes it's like reading a long essay but you have to understand what happened.
According to u/Single-Ambassador951 :
- Alpha an obsessive yandere tomboy number 1
- Beta an obsessive yandere stalker and fangirl number 1
- Gamma an obsessive yandere follower and clumsy sugar mom
- Delta an obsessive yandere idiot dog who doesn’t mind harem
- Epsilon an prideful obsessive yandere seducer with a fake chest and fangirl number 2
- Zeta an obsessive yandere cat, tomboy number 2 and an shadow absolutist and worshipper
- Eta an obsessive sleepy yandere mad scientist who wants to dissect him and study his body. Let’s be real she just wants his Excalibur
- Alpha is obsessive, that is about the only character trait he got right here. Yandere are obsessive to the point of killing all competition. She literally finds and rescues other members of Shadow Garden
- Beta is obsessive and a stalker, but not at all Yandere. While she is extremely jealous whenever Shadow interacts with another girl she is the type to make passive aggressive comments towards them, not kill them.
- Gamma is not a Yandere
- Delta an obsessive yandere idiot dog who doesn’t mind harem - "Yandere doesn't mind a harem" is an oxymoron
- Eta an obsessive sleepy yandere mad scientist who wants to dissect him and study his body
- Zeta an obsessive yandere cat, tomboy and a shadow absolutist and worshipper
- Epsilon an prideful obsessive yandere seducer. Epsilon is close to be a Yandere. She is very competitive and obsessive. but wouldn't consider her a Yandere since she never tried to kill her love rivals that we know of.
- Nu had a Yandere Aura
- Victoria is the only one we see on screen straight up try and murder her competition in love.
- Zeta & Victoria lead a separate faction that worships Shadow. They plan to awaken Diabolos to obtain immortality to give to Shadow, and have already freed his left & right arms. Does that sound like Yandere behavior? Yes, yes it does.
- "Yandere- will Kill anyone who gets in their way of the person who they love, including the person they love. they can make exceptions or rules of who gets killed but it is For their love. a person isn’t a yandere if they kill because it’s their mission or for their order, it’s specifically for wanting to kill because you stopping them from loving their target. that is the defining trait, even tho Yandere means obsession over the one they love. Just depends on how deep they lean in"
- "Alpha with the exceptions of the other 7, will kill anyone else who gets in that way, her way of showing love is creation of shadow garden for Shadow. Beta and epsilon will kill for shadow as well but to a lesser extend of being mass murderish. They both prioritizes their own agenda how so they tend to be less aggressive. Victoria is the yandere, always willing to kill anyone in her way to show affection to shadow, and her way to show it is to be as perfect of a shadow garden member."
- "Gamma and delta do not fall into this dere category. they are bakadere, Gamma clumsy side and delta idiot side."
- "Zeta is a Kuudure. Eta is Eta"
- "Zeta wants to make Cid immortal, but that doesn’t make her a Yandere. She doesn’t have obsessive and possessive traits. She’s a kuudere with a hidden agenda"
- Alpha, Beta, and Epsilon don’t go out of their way to kill and be like that but they lean on the side of obsession for yandere. Alpha has shown to threaten people when there is a chance for her to be with Cid in a romantic setting (in the anime) and if you add the obsession that makes her a yandere, just not the super violent all the time one. Beta and epsilon have the obsession but they don’t tend to kill but also they have obsession that is over the top and will Kill if it ruins their image for Cid
- Victoria and Eta are Yandere in opposite manners. Victoria will do literally anything for him, will act impulsively and murderously even if she just thinks something will benefit him, and has little regard for anything else. Eta loves him, but also veiws him as an experimental subject and will put her desire to study him over his well-being and wishes. Victoria is the kill anyone who looks at you wrong Yandere, Eta is the chain you up and experiment on while loving you type.
- All shadow garden girls view Shadow as a literal deity. They are a cult in every sense of the word. If Cid says to kill anyone, they'll do it. If he tells them to kill themselves they'll do it. In Volume 6 he joked to Nina and Mu about how his sister should keep sleeping and they were prepared to actually do it, although Nina was distraught. Nu was gonna immediately kill Marco if he heard Cid's identity. If you define yandere as overly loyal to the person to the point you will abandon morality without question for them, or to the point they themselves don't want, then the entire organization is yandere.
"The anime is adapted from the Light Novel. It's confirmed that all shadow garden girls, including the harmless looking like Alpha, Gamma, Beta, etc. are Yandere."
According to u/The-Yaoi-Unicorn
" I wouldn't even say Eta is a yandere in that sense. Eta is just crazy, I would say she is crazy in love with him. But, you can give you counter examples and thus disprove him by saying "666" and "712" aren't ready to die and kill every single person on the planet in order to satisfy Shadow. Number 666 aka Rose Oriana has her own goals and mission. She works alongside Shadow Garden to fulfill them. If Shadow Garden told her to kill Cid or Claire then I doubt she would."
According to u/go-sparks25
" I’d say many of the shadow garden girls are fanatics when it comes to Shadow. That doesn’t make them yanderes. The only one I truly think is a yandere is Victoria and maybe Claire. "
According to u/Dependent-Entrance10
" Shadow Garden is a cult - of course most of these girls are madly devoted to Shadow in some way! I don't know if you don't know this but in their secret hideout, they built a massive statue of Shadow... I don't know how you can get more blatant than that."
There is also some person who says DELTA IS ALSO A YANDERE. Pick u/Remarkable-Role6590 here:
" In season 2, Delta kills her brother for suggesting her to work under a different person. I suppose that does count as yandere."
AND HERE ARE PEOPLE WHO DISAGREE THAT TEIS GIRLS ARE YANDERE.
According to u/Candid_Reception_341 :
- They are not Yandere but fanatics if they where yandere then every single girl in the world would be a yandere.
- I remember the previous post about yandere stating all different types of yandere when there is only one yandere definition and Yuno Gasai and Satou Matsuzaka is the best example of yandere. Also Alexia was dating Cid why the 7 shades never go yandere mode and kill her if you are yandere you wouldn't care about consequences if someone takes your man.
- Most girls in the series aren’t Yandere, hell I would even say that there isn’t really any true yanderes so far, maybe Victoria or Claire but thats really it.
- Yes I have read LN Vol 5 and 6, and for the most part the girls are just generally violent, which is different from a yandere. I definitely wouldn’t call, Nu, Alexia, Rose, Alpha, Beta, Gamma, Delta or Epsilon yanderes in the slightest. Eta is more fascinated with Cid than anything else so I wouldn’t really call her a yandere, plus she doesn’t really showcase the other traits that a yandere would typically have. I don’t think it would be unreasonable to call Zeta a yandere, but she also doesn’t really showcase many of a typical yandere’s traits. So I personally wouldn’t really consider her a true yandere.
- You can’t just claim your opinion to be the majority with no proof, and almost no-one really ever says/ claims that most girl in teis are yanderes because that simple isn’t the case.
- That comment is just wrong on so many levels, that is not at all what happened. First and foremost Rose Oriana killed her dad because he was being completely controlled and was already practically dead. Sure Cid helped to give her courage on what she knew she need to do, but thats it. The trial basically never results in death, plus they are dark knights fighting is literally their jobs. Not to mention the fact that Cod has consistently shown to be extremely resilient. Plus, Rose assumed that was what Cid was already planning on doing, she was just signing him up since she believed he simply forgot to. Trivia: this comment is to counter 's comments "You do realize it was Rose that signed Cid up for the goddesses trial. You know if the trail that could kill him? So that in her mind, when he succeeds, she could use his success to talk to her father about marrying him"). I also thought his comments is to counter a comment by u/kirill19um "Dude at the end of season 2 of anime Rose looked mare Yandere than at least half of this list"
- First of all, in the first post more people are saying Alexia Midgar is more of a tsundere with yandere tendencies, which is still quite different than being a full yandere and even in the post people are stating how she doesn’t really fit into the categories all the well. And even in the second post people are questioning calling Alexia a Yandere. You also have to understand that Yandere and Tsundere are often on a spectrum, she has some tendencies/similarities with Yanderes but not enough so to for her to be defined as such. For example you wouldn’t generally describe someone who occasionally swims a swimmer, and would only really describe someone as a swimmer if they either do it professionally or it’s one of their main recreational activities. It the difference between a swimmer, and someone who swims.
A. According to u/jacquesrabbit :
Yandere (JPJapanese: ヤンデレ
Romaji: Yandere
Translation: Mentally Unstable Love) is a Japanese archetype used to define a character whose love, admiration, and devotion is so strong that it is expressed as an excessive obsession and possessiveness. They are often seen as characters that are crazily in love with someone.
They become so attached to their love interests so that it's impossible to let go. They entrust themselves to their love interest, trusting in their love interest's kindness. They probe the deepest recesses of their love interest's heart so as to more perfectly form their greatest self within their love interest. Some will go so far as to behave in immoral and troubling ways. They will not care about the negative effect that their behaviors can have to others, including their love interest, because they only care about their own feelings.
I guess Seven Shades does have some degree of yandere but cannot go fully berserk because they realize how strong Shadow is.
I guess in a way , Alpha did go yandere on Shadow when she realized Shadow was John Smith, but she couldn't defeat Shadow and became depressed after being left by Shadow.
However Claire, Alexia and rose oriana do have the potential to become yandere.
B. According to u/Accurate-Mind1145 (So far only AccurateMind that is not on "both sides")
The thing is. What can be defined as a yandere?
The two definitions are. (My opinion/my thoughts)
Someone who is completely obsessed with a person and wants to be with that and wants to have that person completely for themselves. Even if it means harming the person they are obsessed with. Or . Someone who has an insane amount of feelings for a person. So much that they can't live without that person. And would do anything for that person, even if it means harming themselves for them.
Now, the question is. Which definition people use for yandere. If we take the first option, then no one in the entire ties series is a yandere except for eta Or Sherry (but in Sherry's case, love if not involved). But if we take the second option, then many girls are yandere, because they would do anything for shadow/Cid even if it means committing suicide if he wants it. Or burning the world if he wants it. (Yes, by this definition, even gamma is a yandere because even she could not live without Cid).
Now pick, what do u think is a yandere. Who is a yandere depends on the definition.
(This is just my opinion) .
2024.05.29 11:30 Grand_Grapefruit_702 How to deal with bullying in college?
How does one deal with bullying in college? It's something that really shouldn't happen because people are fully grown adults who should know better, but still, it does.
This is a throwaway account for obvious reasons and without saying too much, I'm in college and have been dealing with bullies targeting me (24F) and my boyfriend (28M) for quite some time.
I guess you could say it's not really in college because several of the bullies have already graduated, but some of them still go to the same school as me and I have to worry about run ins with them (has already happened a few times, details later).
Basically the bullies are my boyfriend's old friend group, which I also used to be a part of.
Over time, me and my boyfriend noticed the friend group becoming increasingly toxic and engaging in activities that we don't do, and since we don't do those things we naturally drifted apart from them, and eventually cut them off due to their toxicity.
However, we have constantly (we stopped being friends with them almost a year ago) had to deal with their botheration.
Much of it has been the bullies constantly talking behind our backs and spreading lies about us to God knows who, but a lot of stuff has been targeting me specifically.
The all-male friend group of bullies has a strange fan-like obsession with me, particularly this one guy
The guy is extremely creepy and obsessive over me, and has done things like:
-Messaged/said creepy things to me
-Said creepy things and very sexually violent explicit things about me behind my back
-Been aggressive with/constantly tried to fight my boyfriend (mostly verbally via messaging but sometimes in person, once he tried to get physical)
-Tried to look up my skirt
These are all prior to us cutting the group off (which is part of the toxicity which led us to cut them off).
I have this guy blocked everywhere, but lately he has:
-Tried to directly speak to me in a mutual discord server (which is extremely uncalled for because it's my school's unofficial discord, I alerted an admin but it still hasn't rly stopped)
-Used private fake numbers to try to call my phone
-Had his other friends who I don't know try to call my phone (who he probably tells weird stuff about me)
-Allegedly met (and befriended?) my abusive ex (God knows what they discuss... I really don't like the feeling of this and I'm scared something bad will happen, they have no connection previously so the bully group must have connected them)
-Waited around the mall near my school where I often shop after class to try to bother me (and my boyfriend who was picking me up) in person
Another member of the bully group was once on the same bus I was taking to class and took pictures of me on the bus. I saw him when I got on the bus and I should have got off and waited for the next bus, as I had a weird feeling he would do something like that, but I was already running late for class. Luckily he didn't get my face in any of them, as I stood facing away from him the whole time due to my suspicions. I also have proof that he did this.
As you can tell it's mostly the one creepy guy, but I feel like they all enable him, and I know that they all talk bad about my boyfriend and I, and then there's the other guy who took the pics of me.
Anyway, I'm getting really sick of the constant and childish fan behaviour bullying, and it's making me worried that I'll never be able to have an online presence again because I'm worried I'll be harassed, not to mention I'm also worried about being harassed at whatever job I have after college.
They really don't quit and I don't know why they're so bitter and won't just leave us alone, I feel like I've worked so hard to get rid of them (I wanted to be rid of them for a long time when they started being toxic) and I just keep having to deal with stuff like this to the point that I don't even feel safe at school.
I would really appreciate any insight this sub has.
submitted by Grand_Grapefruit_702 to college [link] [comments]
This is a throwaway account for obvious reasons and without saying too much, I'm in college and have been dealing with bullies targeting me (24F) and my boyfriend (28M) for quite some time.
I guess you could say it's not really in college because several of the bullies have already graduated, but some of them still go to the same school as me and I have to worry about run ins with them (has already happened a few times, details later).
Basically the bullies are my boyfriend's old friend group, which I also used to be a part of.
Over time, me and my boyfriend noticed the friend group becoming increasingly toxic and engaging in activities that we don't do, and since we don't do those things we naturally drifted apart from them, and eventually cut them off due to their toxicity.
However, we have constantly (we stopped being friends with them almost a year ago) had to deal with their botheration.
Much of it has been the bullies constantly talking behind our backs and spreading lies about us to God knows who, but a lot of stuff has been targeting me specifically.
The all-male friend group of bullies has a strange fan-like obsession with me, particularly this one guy
The guy is extremely creepy and obsessive over me, and has done things like:
-Messaged/said creepy things to me
-Said creepy things and very sexually violent explicit things about me behind my back
-Been aggressive with/constantly tried to fight my boyfriend (mostly verbally via messaging but sometimes in person, once he tried to get physical)
-Tried to look up my skirt
These are all prior to us cutting the group off (which is part of the toxicity which led us to cut them off).
I have this guy blocked everywhere, but lately he has:
-Tried to directly speak to me in a mutual discord server (which is extremely uncalled for because it's my school's unofficial discord, I alerted an admin but it still hasn't rly stopped)
-Used private fake numbers to try to call my phone
-Had his other friends who I don't know try to call my phone (who he probably tells weird stuff about me)
-Allegedly met (and befriended?) my abusive ex (God knows what they discuss... I really don't like the feeling of this and I'm scared something bad will happen, they have no connection previously so the bully group must have connected them)
-Waited around the mall near my school where I often shop after class to try to bother me (and my boyfriend who was picking me up) in person
Another member of the bully group was once on the same bus I was taking to class and took pictures of me on the bus. I saw him when I got on the bus and I should have got off and waited for the next bus, as I had a weird feeling he would do something like that, but I was already running late for class. Luckily he didn't get my face in any of them, as I stood facing away from him the whole time due to my suspicions. I also have proof that he did this.
As you can tell it's mostly the one creepy guy, but I feel like they all enable him, and I know that they all talk bad about my boyfriend and I, and then there's the other guy who took the pics of me.
Anyway, I'm getting really sick of the constant and childish fan behaviour bullying, and it's making me worried that I'll never be able to have an online presence again because I'm worried I'll be harassed, not to mention I'm also worried about being harassed at whatever job I have after college.
They really don't quit and I don't know why they're so bitter and won't just leave us alone, I feel like I've worked so hard to get rid of them (I wanted to be rid of them for a long time when they started being toxic) and I just keep having to deal with stuff like this to the point that I don't even feel safe at school.
I would really appreciate any insight this sub has.
2024.05.29 11:27 Polynesian_Problem How does DebateTok work
Okay so as an ex DebateTok host (I got over it and left, I didn't get cancelled 🤣) I have a bit more of an intimate understanding of how DebateTok works, so I thought I would spill the beans for people.
1) The debates aren't always random. Now this isn't a normal thing, I've only heard a couple of groups doing this, but people that "hate" one another and yet ALWAYS seem to end up debating each other.... it was usually planned. Private discords, discussions about what they're gonna argue about, and inevitably a cash grab because people pay for drama. Take this with a grain of salt though, as I said this isn't a normal thing and there are more that don't do it, than those that do.
2) Ego and reputation is EVERYTHING. Half of the debates are won purely by the validation of your audience. Much like a Gladiator ring in a movie, if you win the crowd, you win the fight. People will often cross their own moral line simply to be right.
3) Ya know the whole "keep your enemies closer" phrase? Well, for harmful people and narcissists it's often the same but flipped. Keep those who will drag you the most, the closest. If you can convince the popular kids that you're their friend, you'll have an ongoing sense of protection from them.
4) Very few topics are original. Imagine a metaphorical one of those Bingo orbs that they spin, everyone sorta tumbles an idea around, pulls one out, and if it does well for one person then 50 other people are gonna run that topic too. Very few people try maintain their own independent topics, so people running similar topics is am extremely normal thing, and shouldn't be a hint to proximity.
5) Everyone knows everyone. There are debaters that I've only spoken to once or twice that know exactly who I am, and vice versa. Sure, everyone has their wee cliques, their wee groups, their very own BFS, but inevitably you're gonna panel with other people that you legitimately never speak to elsewhere, and it can be a constant occurrence.
6) you'll often find the ones that are genuinely there for true advocacy aren't the intellectually and articulately well spoken and polite ones. They're keeping that look up so others thing highly of them. Look to the ones that talks to a bigot and calls them a cunt, or trolls people to no end when they try spread harmful rhetoric. More often than not, they're the ones that truly hold the passion.
7) A lot of debaters have problems with tokenising the regulars on their panel. As an indigenous, gender diverse, bisexual AMAB, there are plenty of different avenues that I'm able to speak on. But more often than not, people want me in to provide the information directly pertinent to my culture to help them win the debate, and then they'll silence me or drop me once the point is made, because they've successfully put the token in the arcade machine. Once you begin looking for it, you start seeing it everywhere.
All in all, debatetok can be a really beautiful place, it's just got some really shitty people in it
Respectfully as always, Auntcle
submitted by Polynesian_Problem to adorable_SNARK [link] [comments]
1) The debates aren't always random. Now this isn't a normal thing, I've only heard a couple of groups doing this, but people that "hate" one another and yet ALWAYS seem to end up debating each other.... it was usually planned. Private discords, discussions about what they're gonna argue about, and inevitably a cash grab because people pay for drama. Take this with a grain of salt though, as I said this isn't a normal thing and there are more that don't do it, than those that do.
2) Ego and reputation is EVERYTHING. Half of the debates are won purely by the validation of your audience. Much like a Gladiator ring in a movie, if you win the crowd, you win the fight. People will often cross their own moral line simply to be right.
3) Ya know the whole "keep your enemies closer" phrase? Well, for harmful people and narcissists it's often the same but flipped. Keep those who will drag you the most, the closest. If you can convince the popular kids that you're their friend, you'll have an ongoing sense of protection from them.
4) Very few topics are original. Imagine a metaphorical one of those Bingo orbs that they spin, everyone sorta tumbles an idea around, pulls one out, and if it does well for one person then 50 other people are gonna run that topic too. Very few people try maintain their own independent topics, so people running similar topics is am extremely normal thing, and shouldn't be a hint to proximity.
5) Everyone knows everyone. There are debaters that I've only spoken to once or twice that know exactly who I am, and vice versa. Sure, everyone has their wee cliques, their wee groups, their very own BFS, but inevitably you're gonna panel with other people that you legitimately never speak to elsewhere, and it can be a constant occurrence.
6) you'll often find the ones that are genuinely there for true advocacy aren't the intellectually and articulately well spoken and polite ones. They're keeping that look up so others thing highly of them. Look to the ones that talks to a bigot and calls them a cunt, or trolls people to no end when they try spread harmful rhetoric. More often than not, they're the ones that truly hold the passion.
7) A lot of debaters have problems with tokenising the regulars on their panel. As an indigenous, gender diverse, bisexual AMAB, there are plenty of different avenues that I'm able to speak on. But more often than not, people want me in to provide the information directly pertinent to my culture to help them win the debate, and then they'll silence me or drop me once the point is made, because they've successfully put the token in the arcade machine. Once you begin looking for it, you start seeing it everywhere.
All in all, debatetok can be a really beautiful place, it's just got some really shitty people in it
Respectfully as always, Auntcle
2024.05.29 11:25 coolqcumber123 AITAH for shutting down and getting upset every time my gf rejects my touch
My fiancé (25F) we will call her Sarah has been dealing with "womanly" health issues for the last year of our relationship. We've been together for 3 years and We've always had a super robust sexual life and I (30M) take pride in how good our sex life is. If I'm not hitting the big O for Sarah atleast 3-5 times per session I low key feel like a failure. She brags about me to her friends at bachelorette parties...that's how good our sex is. She tells me They are always surprised how often I can give her multiples. I take great pride and it makes me feel confident in my relationship with her. I get this rush of security after getting her off. Like if she is happy in bed...she'll never leave me.
Its my love language, and sex is very important for me. Physical touch of any kind. Unfortunately for the last year that has not been the case do to some health issues for her, and I've had to "adjust". She's gone to many women health doctors and run many test and been on many medications. Nothing works, and no one knows what's wrong, and she is often very uncomfortable or in pain down below. I can't have sex with her the way I would like too. Don't get me wrong...She still "Takes" care of me on the daily but I can't do the same for her and I can't connect with her like we used too. And the few times we tried to please her it wasn't good for her. In fact it was awful and she said as much. So ouch to the ego, I felt like shit after.
In the past once the sex got bad or stale the relationship would be over, but with Sarah it's different. I've fallen hard and despite the sex, she's my life partner in every other way, and I still proposed and want to spend the rest of my life with her.
But Her discomfort has gotten to the point where even if I just rest and hand on her thigh or stomach she will sometimes physically cringe or ask me to stop touching her. "Don't touch me". Or "I need space" or my fav... "Don't" and a glare from the loml.
I ALWAYS stop...but it's sucks and hurts like an SOB. And even though I know it's not personal and she is just hurting after a year of this it feels like rejection over and over and over again from the person I want and love the most. I can't help but take it personally. And when she does tell me stop she isn't soft about it, she is very matter fact, and forward. Sometimes I can clearly hear the annoyance in her tone...
Tonight I wasn't necessarily trying to start anything but I just wanted to few close to Sarah. I curled up next to her on the couch and without thinking I laid an hand on her inner thigh. She said "Don't" in a tone I didnt appreciate. as per usual and I could feel myself shutting down. Rejection again, I wasn't even trying to start anything sexual. It's just how I've always been with her super touchy and I momentarily forgot and slipped into my old ways. I could feel myself getting angry and hurt. I got up and left the room.
She noticed and followed me, and asked me what was going on. And it all just came out. I exploded. I told her that I hated it, that I feel rejected, that I wish she fucking nicer to me. I started yelling and told her to atleast let me down easy because it hurts every time she says no! And i told her that I don't know how love and falling in love with someone work but this shit was fucking with my head. And she needs to figure out how to say no better and gently. And Which she responded that I was being selfish, insensitive and needed to respect her boundaries and that she is in pain and couldn't help her tone. And that I don't understand her at all. And to top It off She said my response made it feel like I was pressuring her.
I didn't know how to respond that cause I quite literally have been doing my best to do the opposite. So I asked again could she atleast be nicer with her No but she said I just need to get over it and it was her body. And that I needed to understand this wasn't about me and then she started crying.
Am I an insensitive AH for feeling this hurt, upset, and blowing up saying what I did to her. Like am I insane? would nonasshole respond differently to year of this?
submitted by coolqcumber123 to AITAH [link] [comments]
Its my love language, and sex is very important for me. Physical touch of any kind. Unfortunately for the last year that has not been the case do to some health issues for her, and I've had to "adjust". She's gone to many women health doctors and run many test and been on many medications. Nothing works, and no one knows what's wrong, and she is often very uncomfortable or in pain down below. I can't have sex with her the way I would like too. Don't get me wrong...She still "Takes" care of me on the daily but I can't do the same for her and I can't connect with her like we used too. And the few times we tried to please her it wasn't good for her. In fact it was awful and she said as much. So ouch to the ego, I felt like shit after.
In the past once the sex got bad or stale the relationship would be over, but with Sarah it's different. I've fallen hard and despite the sex, she's my life partner in every other way, and I still proposed and want to spend the rest of my life with her.
But Her discomfort has gotten to the point where even if I just rest and hand on her thigh or stomach she will sometimes physically cringe or ask me to stop touching her. "Don't touch me". Or "I need space" or my fav... "Don't" and a glare from the loml.
I ALWAYS stop...but it's sucks and hurts like an SOB. And even though I know it's not personal and she is just hurting after a year of this it feels like rejection over and over and over again from the person I want and love the most. I can't help but take it personally. And when she does tell me stop she isn't soft about it, she is very matter fact, and forward. Sometimes I can clearly hear the annoyance in her tone...
Tonight I wasn't necessarily trying to start anything but I just wanted to few close to Sarah. I curled up next to her on the couch and without thinking I laid an hand on her inner thigh. She said "Don't" in a tone I didnt appreciate. as per usual and I could feel myself shutting down. Rejection again, I wasn't even trying to start anything sexual. It's just how I've always been with her super touchy and I momentarily forgot and slipped into my old ways. I could feel myself getting angry and hurt. I got up and left the room.
She noticed and followed me, and asked me what was going on. And it all just came out. I exploded. I told her that I hated it, that I feel rejected, that I wish she fucking nicer to me. I started yelling and told her to atleast let me down easy because it hurts every time she says no! And i told her that I don't know how love and falling in love with someone work but this shit was fucking with my head. And she needs to figure out how to say no better and gently. And Which she responded that I was being selfish, insensitive and needed to respect her boundaries and that she is in pain and couldn't help her tone. And that I don't understand her at all. And to top It off She said my response made it feel like I was pressuring her.
I didn't know how to respond that cause I quite literally have been doing my best to do the opposite. So I asked again could she atleast be nicer with her No but she said I just need to get over it and it was her body. And that I needed to understand this wasn't about me and then she started crying.
Am I an insensitive AH for feeling this hurt, upset, and blowing up saying what I did to her. Like am I insane? would nonasshole respond differently to year of this?
2024.05.29 11:15 wrong_product1815 CMV: Being childfree is actually good and unnecessarily hated
I know this is a commonly agreed upon thing on the internet but in real life it's the exact opposite. People think marrying should automatically lead to a child but that shouldn't be the case (with all respect to people who have kids) a child free life is better especially in today's world. Many people who have children can't even support them and it's incredibly selfish to ruin a kid's life just because you wanted to have it when you can't even finance it's lifestyle. Adoption is a better thing to do you will be saving a kids life and you will get what you wanted it's a win-win. Being child free also helps in saving money, taking vacations whenever you want, etc. Inflation makes it hard to sustain a baby's lifestyle plus the mental capacity required to nurture one is also too much.
Also it allows personal autonomy, without the responsibilities of raising children, people can pursue their interests and passions more freely. They can travel, engage in hobbies, and invest time in personal and career growth without the constraints that often come with parenting. This autonomy allows for a more flexible lifestyle. Being childfree also allows people to focus on their careers and personal achievements especially for women. It also has many health benefits one being not having to experience pregnancy and the postpartum conditions that follow. There are many other such benefits even environmental one that support my argument.
My point is not to hate on people who have children but just to show that it is unnecessarily hated on by majority of the society especially the old generation ( sorry if I offend anyone)
submitted by wrong_product1815 to changemyview [link] [comments]
Also it allows personal autonomy, without the responsibilities of raising children, people can pursue their interests and passions more freely. They can travel, engage in hobbies, and invest time in personal and career growth without the constraints that often come with parenting. This autonomy allows for a more flexible lifestyle. Being childfree also allows people to focus on their careers and personal achievements especially for women. It also has many health benefits one being not having to experience pregnancy and the postpartum conditions that follow. There are many other such benefits even environmental one that support my argument.
My point is not to hate on people who have children but just to show that it is unnecessarily hated on by majority of the society especially the old generation ( sorry if I offend anyone)
2024.05.29 11:14 maximusaemilius Alien scientists report about human maladaptive coping tendencies
The Journal of Xenomedical Biology
Author: Prof. Dr. Dr. Krill of the Vrul
The Human Manifestation of Self-destructive Tendencies and Their Signs.
Over the past few years of studying and learning to understand humans, it has come to the attention of the medical community that humans are the most volatile species, psychologically. This is not meant as negative commentary on human issues as it might seem, but merely an observation that humans have the most widely varied pattern of psychological maladaptive responses when it comes to stress and related mental illness. Where each other species tends to have only two or three typical maladaptive responses, humans have been known to have analogous representations of all known mental abnormalities.
Now this journal is not specifically about all the ways the human brain can go wrong, but more accurately about the maladaptive response I have seen in humans over the past few years primarily demonstrating self-destructive behaviors in one way or another.
You might notice an interesting pattern in my analysis today that clearly demonstrates a repetitive contradictory pattern in human self-destructive tendencies, which will demonstrate just how varied and widely differing their responses can be.
First, humans have socially destructive behavior which can come in many forms.
Withdrawal:
Withdrawal from friends or close loved ones is a common self-destructive behavior to look for in humans. This can happen on a large or small scale where the human withdraws for hours or even years. As a social species, humans find social interaction important, even if that is only remote communications with other humans. If that human begins to withdraw suddenly or even gradually over time, I might suggest being concerned about their well- being.
Now here is where the contradictions come into play, and forgive me if some of these social behaviors also overlap with the physical behaviors, with humans, they are often one and the same.
Increased socially dangerous behavior:
Now this may account for many things. Some humans will fall into a downward spiral where they surround themselves with other likeminded humans and participate in dangerous physical activities, which I will discuss later.
Increased partners:
Now, while this behavior may be common for many humans, (Ramirez et al.)((no, that is not a report to consult, but an example)) and could be argued as a physical behavior, there is cause for concern if a human suddenly increases the number of physical partners from their average. This usually accompanies reckless social behavior like not meeting the partner first before entering into a physical relationship, doing this on multiple occasions and might also be connected with the following –
Staying with an objectively horrible partner:
Now it is hard to identify why some humans do this, but often humans will choose a partner who is objectively horrible to them either physically or emotionally. Sometimes humans do this because they are afraid of the repercussions, are afraid of being alone, or they have been convinced that there is no other possible person out there who might love them. Humans put a lot of stock into physical relationships and many of them would rather be with someone horrible than be alone. Due to their social nature many humans put social interaction and partnership over their safety and mental health. If you see a human participating in this behavior, it is advised to get them help, even if the human does not want it. They deserve more than being treated horribly.
Now on occasion two humans in a downward spiral might come together and create a codependent relationship where they cannot function without one another. What the other human does the other will follow and this can lead them both into a spiral of horrible physical and mental behaviors that will cause anguish in the long term. If one of them is involved with drugs, the other will follow etc.
Now some humans might even participate in self-destructive behaviors that look good from an outside perspective. For instance, it is a common occurrence that humans overwork themselves to the point of burnout. Often humans throw themselves into their work to distract their minds and avoid the pain of something else, this may include memories or having to return to an environment where they do not wish to go. These humans will work many hours and sacrifice their social lives to do more work, causing long term stress that can lead to heart attack stroke and other physical diseases related to increased stress and heightened blood pressure. Some humans may participate in this behavior as a way to prove themselves to others, that they are either competent or hard working.
On the flipside of this there are other humans who may just stop working at all. They let everything in their lives fall apart, and stop doing anything of note causing them to lose their jobs, their hobbies, their families and their friends. This one is often related to a withdrawal from other people and might include elements of physical recklessness like drug abuse.
Secondly and including a much wider range of self-destructive behaviors, we see the physical manifestations of this phenomenon which vary widely and tend to come in opposing pairs.
Overeating and undereating:
These are two very common forms of stress response from humans. If humans have conditioned to see food as a reward for behavior or as a comforting mechanism (often developed in childhood) they will eat in order to comfort themselves and to the point where it is adversely affecting their physical health. They may eat even if they are not hungry or if they are actively full. Some humans experience digestive issues while under stress and may even refuse to eat at all. There are other extreme cases where humans, usually in response to a perceived lack of control, will regulate their food intake to the point of starvation or other food related disorders.
This is closely related to over exercising, and also has links with a perceived lack of control in their life. These humans, often paired with restricted eating, will push themselves to their physical limit to control their own bodies as a form of having a hold on their own lives. This paired with restricted calories can cause an untold amount of damage both physically and mentally. Mental disorders linked to these behaviors are known to be the deadliest of disorders known to humans.
The consumption of Drugs and Alcohol:
This is a very common and often overlooked behavior in humans. Drinking is the consumption of beverages that contain Ethanol, which when reacting in the human brain causes, extreme mental degradation related to fuzziness and euphoria. Humans find this a pleasant feeling, though it causes damage to many internal structures most primarily the liver. Unfortunately drinking is seen as a socially acceptable behavior with humans and so, excessive drinking is often caught too late or not called out at all. These humans may drink from the beginning to the end of the day and will build up a tolerance to alcohol amounts that would kill another human. They build up an immunity to the point where they need larger and larger doses to feel the same effects. They will often neglect their social connections including friends and family for a chance with the bottle.
This is the same with other illicit drugs, which may have even more severe effects on the person and my lead to drug induced psychosis. Both substances are highly addictive to the point where a human may commit horrible acts like murder, robbery, etc to get the drugs that they crave. This is usually in response to some sort of mental anguish they are trying to drown out but may be related to them becoming hooked on drugs they needed after surgery. On rare occasions, this behavior began in conjunction with destructive social behaviors which lead them down into a spiral.
Excessive partying is often paired with drug use and an increased amount of intimate partners. Many humans who have fallen into this spiral might refuse to admit that they are spiraling at all. Generally limited use of a substance can be acceptable for a human, but there are plenty of other chemicals that should not be consumed at all.
There are even some drugs that are known to be mild on the user but may cause emotional dependence. These drugs are not known to cause physical dependance, but the human can convince themselves that they require the drug to function emotionally during the day and will neglect their family, friends and lives in order to spend more time with their drug of choice Again you will see the withdrawal from social contacts as an extreme warning sign in humans.
Sleeping too much or not sleeping at all:
A human getting enough sleep is important for their mental health but sleeping too much is proven to throw off circadian rhythms and increase chances of depression or worsening depression. Humans require an amount of sleep that is no more or no less than what they need. Many humans will claim to not be getting enough sleep because they feel tired, when in reality their oversleeping causes grogginess and reduced amount of energy though it might seem counter intuitive. On the other hand, humans might refuse to sleep at all, instead occupying their time with some other activity. It is important to remember though that an inability to sleep might also be insomnia, and the human has no choices in the matter. I find that humans, in general, are horrible at regulating a proper healthy sleep schedule.
Participation in dangerous hobbies:
Now, I understand that this is common for many humans and does not indicate self-destructive behavior, but I would consider noting when a human suddenly involves themselves in dangerous hobbies after not participating for a long time, especially when that human is not careful and doesn’t take time to properly consider safety protocols.
Another very common one is humans causing intentional physical harm to themselves. This comes in levels of severity, and I would say that most humans do this to some degree or another. Often these are connected to nervous ticks or even learned behaviors from childhood. This can include, picking scabs, biting nails, picking at the skin of the thumbs or the lips, pilling hair, and biting the inside of the cheeks. These smaller behaviors are usually minor and do not require attention, they may cause scarring but are not generally connected to extreme mental anguish.
However, these behaviors can escalate dramatically to the use of knives and razors. This behavior is EXTREMELY maladaptive and indicates severe mental anguish and trauma and must be addressed immediately. These behaviors might escalate and be linked to loss of life by the human's own hand. I have not witnessed this personally, and I never intend to as I keep a very close eye on my humans.
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submitted by maximusaemilius to humansarespaceorcs [link] [comments]
Author: Prof. Dr. Dr. Krill of the Vrul
The Human Manifestation of Self-destructive Tendencies and Their Signs.
Over the past few years of studying and learning to understand humans, it has come to the attention of the medical community that humans are the most volatile species, psychologically. This is not meant as negative commentary on human issues as it might seem, but merely an observation that humans have the most widely varied pattern of psychological maladaptive responses when it comes to stress and related mental illness. Where each other species tends to have only two or three typical maladaptive responses, humans have been known to have analogous representations of all known mental abnormalities.
Now this journal is not specifically about all the ways the human brain can go wrong, but more accurately about the maladaptive response I have seen in humans over the past few years primarily demonstrating self-destructive behaviors in one way or another.
You might notice an interesting pattern in my analysis today that clearly demonstrates a repetitive contradictory pattern in human self-destructive tendencies, which will demonstrate just how varied and widely differing their responses can be.
First, humans have socially destructive behavior which can come in many forms.
Withdrawal:
Withdrawal from friends or close loved ones is a common self-destructive behavior to look for in humans. This can happen on a large or small scale where the human withdraws for hours or even years. As a social species, humans find social interaction important, even if that is only remote communications with other humans. If that human begins to withdraw suddenly or even gradually over time, I might suggest being concerned about their well- being.
Now here is where the contradictions come into play, and forgive me if some of these social behaviors also overlap with the physical behaviors, with humans, they are often one and the same.
Increased socially dangerous behavior:
Now this may account for many things. Some humans will fall into a downward spiral where they surround themselves with other likeminded humans and participate in dangerous physical activities, which I will discuss later.
Increased partners:
Now, while this behavior may be common for many humans, (Ramirez et al.)((no, that is not a report to consult, but an example)) and could be argued as a physical behavior, there is cause for concern if a human suddenly increases the number of physical partners from their average. This usually accompanies reckless social behavior like not meeting the partner first before entering into a physical relationship, doing this on multiple occasions and might also be connected with the following –
Staying with an objectively horrible partner:
Now it is hard to identify why some humans do this, but often humans will choose a partner who is objectively horrible to them either physically or emotionally. Sometimes humans do this because they are afraid of the repercussions, are afraid of being alone, or they have been convinced that there is no other possible person out there who might love them. Humans put a lot of stock into physical relationships and many of them would rather be with someone horrible than be alone. Due to their social nature many humans put social interaction and partnership over their safety and mental health. If you see a human participating in this behavior, it is advised to get them help, even if the human does not want it. They deserve more than being treated horribly.
Now on occasion two humans in a downward spiral might come together and create a codependent relationship where they cannot function without one another. What the other human does the other will follow and this can lead them both into a spiral of horrible physical and mental behaviors that will cause anguish in the long term. If one of them is involved with drugs, the other will follow etc.
Now some humans might even participate in self-destructive behaviors that look good from an outside perspective. For instance, it is a common occurrence that humans overwork themselves to the point of burnout. Often humans throw themselves into their work to distract their minds and avoid the pain of something else, this may include memories or having to return to an environment where they do not wish to go. These humans will work many hours and sacrifice their social lives to do more work, causing long term stress that can lead to heart attack stroke and other physical diseases related to increased stress and heightened blood pressure. Some humans may participate in this behavior as a way to prove themselves to others, that they are either competent or hard working.
On the flipside of this there are other humans who may just stop working at all. They let everything in their lives fall apart, and stop doing anything of note causing them to lose their jobs, their hobbies, their families and their friends. This one is often related to a withdrawal from other people and might include elements of physical recklessness like drug abuse.
Secondly and including a much wider range of self-destructive behaviors, we see the physical manifestations of this phenomenon which vary widely and tend to come in opposing pairs.
Overeating and undereating:
These are two very common forms of stress response from humans. If humans have conditioned to see food as a reward for behavior or as a comforting mechanism (often developed in childhood) they will eat in order to comfort themselves and to the point where it is adversely affecting their physical health. They may eat even if they are not hungry or if they are actively full. Some humans experience digestive issues while under stress and may even refuse to eat at all. There are other extreme cases where humans, usually in response to a perceived lack of control, will regulate their food intake to the point of starvation or other food related disorders.
This is closely related to over exercising, and also has links with a perceived lack of control in their life. These humans, often paired with restricted eating, will push themselves to their physical limit to control their own bodies as a form of having a hold on their own lives. This paired with restricted calories can cause an untold amount of damage both physically and mentally. Mental disorders linked to these behaviors are known to be the deadliest of disorders known to humans.
The consumption of Drugs and Alcohol:
This is a very common and often overlooked behavior in humans. Drinking is the consumption of beverages that contain Ethanol, which when reacting in the human brain causes, extreme mental degradation related to fuzziness and euphoria. Humans find this a pleasant feeling, though it causes damage to many internal structures most primarily the liver. Unfortunately drinking is seen as a socially acceptable behavior with humans and so, excessive drinking is often caught too late or not called out at all. These humans may drink from the beginning to the end of the day and will build up a tolerance to alcohol amounts that would kill another human. They build up an immunity to the point where they need larger and larger doses to feel the same effects. They will often neglect their social connections including friends and family for a chance with the bottle.
This is the same with other illicit drugs, which may have even more severe effects on the person and my lead to drug induced psychosis. Both substances are highly addictive to the point where a human may commit horrible acts like murder, robbery, etc to get the drugs that they crave. This is usually in response to some sort of mental anguish they are trying to drown out but may be related to them becoming hooked on drugs they needed after surgery. On rare occasions, this behavior began in conjunction with destructive social behaviors which lead them down into a spiral.
Excessive partying is often paired with drug use and an increased amount of intimate partners. Many humans who have fallen into this spiral might refuse to admit that they are spiraling at all. Generally limited use of a substance can be acceptable for a human, but there are plenty of other chemicals that should not be consumed at all.
There are even some drugs that are known to be mild on the user but may cause emotional dependence. These drugs are not known to cause physical dependance, but the human can convince themselves that they require the drug to function emotionally during the day and will neglect their family, friends and lives in order to spend more time with their drug of choice Again you will see the withdrawal from social contacts as an extreme warning sign in humans.
Sleeping too much or not sleeping at all:
A human getting enough sleep is important for their mental health but sleeping too much is proven to throw off circadian rhythms and increase chances of depression or worsening depression. Humans require an amount of sleep that is no more or no less than what they need. Many humans will claim to not be getting enough sleep because they feel tired, when in reality their oversleeping causes grogginess and reduced amount of energy though it might seem counter intuitive. On the other hand, humans might refuse to sleep at all, instead occupying their time with some other activity. It is important to remember though that an inability to sleep might also be insomnia, and the human has no choices in the matter. I find that humans, in general, are horrible at regulating a proper healthy sleep schedule.
Participation in dangerous hobbies:
Now, I understand that this is common for many humans and does not indicate self-destructive behavior, but I would consider noting when a human suddenly involves themselves in dangerous hobbies after not participating for a long time, especially when that human is not careful and doesn’t take time to properly consider safety protocols.
Another very common one is humans causing intentional physical harm to themselves. This comes in levels of severity, and I would say that most humans do this to some degree or another. Often these are connected to nervous ticks or even learned behaviors from childhood. This can include, picking scabs, biting nails, picking at the skin of the thumbs or the lips, pilling hair, and biting the inside of the cheeks. These smaller behaviors are usually minor and do not require attention, they may cause scarring but are not generally connected to extreme mental anguish.
However, these behaviors can escalate dramatically to the use of knives and razors. This behavior is EXTREMELY maladaptive and indicates severe mental anguish and trauma and must be addressed immediately. These behaviors might escalate and be linked to loss of life by the human's own hand. I have not witnessed this personally, and I never intend to as I keep a very close eye on my humans.
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2024.05.29 11:11 Same-Stay-8834 I don't want my mom to stay with me anymore
This is mostly to vent on a throwaway. I'm (29m) still trying to unpack these feelings and work on this in therapy, but my mother (53f) is beginning to really affect my mental health in a negative way.
Some background on my mother - She is an extrovert. She works in mostly medical environments. She is diagnosed ADHD but has not been taking her medication. She is several years divorced from my father. Her and I have not been the best communicators but when things are good they're really good and we reciprocate each other's love and energy. I have a growing fear there are certain things I'll never really get to talk to her about because of how she handles other things I've brought up in the past. Several months ago, she had fallen on some hard times and was in the process of losing her job. She decided to live with me to get on her feet, and that in and of itself was a difficult discussion to have with her. I found out this was her decision when my brother mentioned on a call that she lost her job and she told him she was just going to stay with me "for a couple months". My mother did not make me aware of these plans, and never asked me if I would be okay with it. Of course I felt extremely guilty because it wasn't in me to turn her away. I think I just would've appreciated some consideration for the space she takes up. I think my initial reaction was not one of immediate support, but more of "I wish you asked me first". I recognize I often find myself "triggered" by these types of situations and it is something I truly want to work on.
Some background on me - I am an introvert. I work remotely. I've recently been diagnosed with ADHD and others tell me I exhibit a lot of traits of autism, and I'm inclined to believe them, although I know how much those terms get thrown around on the internet. I like my space. I like my peace. I can get triggered by miscommunication mishaps and certain repeating comments and/or patterns. It can be very hard for me to read social queues and maintain relationships. I struggle with this often.
I don't want to point too much blame onto her, that's not what this post is about, but I think my mother has unintentionally caused me to feel even worse with my disorders. Since she's been living with me I've been a lot more distracted, a lot more angry about certain things, and lot less clean. I have not had any desire to go out and do anything knowing that someone is in my home who also wants to do the same. When I bring these up in a somewhat decent and mature way, it always ends with us arguing or me raising my voice because I feel like she's deflecting any and all responsibility for things she says and does. In that initial argument about her staying with me, she claimed I wasn't supporting her losing her job (I started the call talking about her job and how she was feeling), claimed that I was turning her away (I wouldn't have, but I felt weird about her sharing her decision with other people in my family and not me where it applies), and claimed I would've charged her rent (I have not and do not intend to do that). She often rebuttals with bringing up the short period of time I stayed with her after graduating college when I had no money and no job. I feel she glosses over the difference in that I had asked her if she would be okay with it. I knew that I would take up energy and space, that she may want to bring boyfriends and dates but can't because her son lives with her. I would've completely respected and honored her decision if she didn't feel comfortable with it. But she said yes because "that's what moms do". I love her for that, but I feel she unfairly applied this type of expectation to me as well.
I think that is the center of a lot of our more recent arguments. The lack of consideration from her or her recognizing any fault in how she makes me feel when she's here, is beginning to really eat away at me and my mental health. I've unhealthily learned to shut down and not say much when she's here because I feel it's not going to lead to anything good or productive for both of us. I feel my mother lives in her own world where everything is good and not worthy of "fighting over" and things should "move on quickly" and I'm just not wired that way at all. I believe a good part of life is to be real with people even when there are things that are hard to talk about. I feel this difference is causing us to drift apart more and more. I don't want to speak on all the details of everything we argued over, but I feel she just won't ever get it. I know she probably feels the same to some extent.
My lease ends in a couple months and I've been considering moving to a place that is smaller so that I could be on my own again. I've also considered the possibility that this may end up turning into something more than just needing some space, and it might be time to reconsider the extent of our relationship. I've felt mountains of guilt over this, because I'm an emotional person and I do think about who I'm hurting in these situations, much less the woman who gave life to me. I'm struggling on what to do to salvage our relationship while also making both of us happy. Any help from this community will be taken into consideration and I do appreciate you reading all this.
TLDR: Mother (53f) is living with me (29m) due to losing a job. We often argue over our differences of the concept of consideration for each other. I struggle mentally when she's around because it feels like she deflects many of what I feel are my basic needs. I don't think this is intentional as we're from two different cultures and generations. Lease is coming up and I've considered moving away from her and feel a lot of guilt whether to do it or not, and I'm considering any help.
submitted by Same-Stay-8834 to narcissisticparents [link] [comments]
Some background on my mother - She is an extrovert. She works in mostly medical environments. She is diagnosed ADHD but has not been taking her medication. She is several years divorced from my father. Her and I have not been the best communicators but when things are good they're really good and we reciprocate each other's love and energy. I have a growing fear there are certain things I'll never really get to talk to her about because of how she handles other things I've brought up in the past. Several months ago, she had fallen on some hard times and was in the process of losing her job. She decided to live with me to get on her feet, and that in and of itself was a difficult discussion to have with her. I found out this was her decision when my brother mentioned on a call that she lost her job and she told him she was just going to stay with me "for a couple months". My mother did not make me aware of these plans, and never asked me if I would be okay with it. Of course I felt extremely guilty because it wasn't in me to turn her away. I think I just would've appreciated some consideration for the space she takes up. I think my initial reaction was not one of immediate support, but more of "I wish you asked me first". I recognize I often find myself "triggered" by these types of situations and it is something I truly want to work on.
Some background on me - I am an introvert. I work remotely. I've recently been diagnosed with ADHD and others tell me I exhibit a lot of traits of autism, and I'm inclined to believe them, although I know how much those terms get thrown around on the internet. I like my space. I like my peace. I can get triggered by miscommunication mishaps and certain repeating comments and/or patterns. It can be very hard for me to read social queues and maintain relationships. I struggle with this often.
I don't want to point too much blame onto her, that's not what this post is about, but I think my mother has unintentionally caused me to feel even worse with my disorders. Since she's been living with me I've been a lot more distracted, a lot more angry about certain things, and lot less clean. I have not had any desire to go out and do anything knowing that someone is in my home who also wants to do the same. When I bring these up in a somewhat decent and mature way, it always ends with us arguing or me raising my voice because I feel like she's deflecting any and all responsibility for things she says and does. In that initial argument about her staying with me, she claimed I wasn't supporting her losing her job (I started the call talking about her job and how she was feeling), claimed that I was turning her away (I wouldn't have, but I felt weird about her sharing her decision with other people in my family and not me where it applies), and claimed I would've charged her rent (I have not and do not intend to do that). She often rebuttals with bringing up the short period of time I stayed with her after graduating college when I had no money and no job. I feel she glosses over the difference in that I had asked her if she would be okay with it. I knew that I would take up energy and space, that she may want to bring boyfriends and dates but can't because her son lives with her. I would've completely respected and honored her decision if she didn't feel comfortable with it. But she said yes because "that's what moms do". I love her for that, but I feel she unfairly applied this type of expectation to me as well.
I think that is the center of a lot of our more recent arguments. The lack of consideration from her or her recognizing any fault in how she makes me feel when she's here, is beginning to really eat away at me and my mental health. I've unhealthily learned to shut down and not say much when she's here because I feel it's not going to lead to anything good or productive for both of us. I feel my mother lives in her own world where everything is good and not worthy of "fighting over" and things should "move on quickly" and I'm just not wired that way at all. I believe a good part of life is to be real with people even when there are things that are hard to talk about. I feel this difference is causing us to drift apart more and more. I don't want to speak on all the details of everything we argued over, but I feel she just won't ever get it. I know she probably feels the same to some extent.
My lease ends in a couple months and I've been considering moving to a place that is smaller so that I could be on my own again. I've also considered the possibility that this may end up turning into something more than just needing some space, and it might be time to reconsider the extent of our relationship. I've felt mountains of guilt over this, because I'm an emotional person and I do think about who I'm hurting in these situations, much less the woman who gave life to me. I'm struggling on what to do to salvage our relationship while also making both of us happy. Any help from this community will be taken into consideration and I do appreciate you reading all this.
TLDR: Mother (53f) is living with me (29m) due to losing a job. We often argue over our differences of the concept of consideration for each other. I struggle mentally when she's around because it feels like she deflects many of what I feel are my basic needs. I don't think this is intentional as we're from two different cultures and generations. Lease is coming up and I've considered moving away from her and feel a lot of guilt whether to do it or not, and I'm considering any help.
2024.05.29 11:10 pinkberrysauce My boyfriend is always changing and canceling our plans. I don’t want to resent him for it
I (23 f) been with my boyfriend (23m) for 4 years, when we first started dating we only saw each other every 2 weeks because of the pandemic, but as time passed, we started to gradually see each other more and more. Ever since we graduated we’ve had this routine where we go out for dinner once a week, usually on Fridays, then he spends the entire day at my house either Saturday or Sunday, so we now see each other twice a week.
His family knows this, and he tells them every time we make plans because they only have one car in his family that he and his mom share (his other siblings don’t really drive), and even tho he always tells them our plans and asks to use the car at least 2 days in advance, his mom or siblings cause us to change our plans at Least 3 or 4 times a month. I know it doesn’t sound like much, but since we don’t see each other that often it has really started to bother me.
Just this past week it happened twice, we were supposed to go for breakfast on Saturday, he told everyone at his house since Thursday and they were okay with him using the car, then Friday night rolls around and he suddenly tells me his mom is telling him he can’t take the car because she wants to go grocery shopping on Saturday morning, at the SAME time that we planned to go for breakfast, she could’ve gone that same afternoon, she could’ve gone on Sunday, he even told her he could go that same Friday but no, she specifically wanted to go on Saturday, so we ended up seeing each other on Sunday. Then today we were supposed to go out but in the morning he told me his mom wanted to run some errands after work, so he would have to wait until 7 pm, by that time it was honestly too late for him to come to my house and go where we wanted to eat, so we ended up not meeting.
I know it’s not just his car, and his family can also use and need it, but i don’t understand why they always come up with something to do or plans of their own AFTER he asked for permission to take it and they all give him the okay. It’s extremely frustrating and honestly tiring, i could be a little understating if it was because of emergencies but no, it’s always some just something silly that in all honestly, could’ve waited. We’re supposed to have a date at night and his mom knew the whole week? suddenly that same night she asks for the car because his sister has plans and she’s driving her. He’s on his way to pick me up? she suddenly needs him to give his cousin a ride and buy some things from the store. He’s getting ready to come to my house? actually his brother wants to go to the movies. It’s Always something stupid.
Sometimes it’s just a change to our plans, sometimes i end up waiting up to 2 and a half hours for him to pick me up but i’ve also been stood up because of this. I’m getting so tired of it, and the fact that he never puts his foot down with them is annoying. I know it’s not his fault and if it was just on him these things wouldn’t happen, but what am i supposed to do? Fight his mom?
Lately when it happens I end up extremely angry at him and even when our plans were just changed I end up canceling them out of anger. I don’t want to keep resenting him for this, he puts in too much effort in planning things for me, driving me, taking me home and paying for me. I want to make him feel my appreciation but really, how can i not be mad? or am I out of line for feeling this way? should i just give up and ignore this when it happens?
It has been an issue in our relationship for a while, and even tho it will probably continue to happen, I don’t wan it to affect us the way it does :(
TL;DR; My boyfriend is always canceling and changing our plans because of his family, how can I stop blaming him?
submitted by pinkberrysauce to relationships [link] [comments]
His family knows this, and he tells them every time we make plans because they only have one car in his family that he and his mom share (his other siblings don’t really drive), and even tho he always tells them our plans and asks to use the car at least 2 days in advance, his mom or siblings cause us to change our plans at Least 3 or 4 times a month. I know it doesn’t sound like much, but since we don’t see each other that often it has really started to bother me.
Just this past week it happened twice, we were supposed to go for breakfast on Saturday, he told everyone at his house since Thursday and they were okay with him using the car, then Friday night rolls around and he suddenly tells me his mom is telling him he can’t take the car because she wants to go grocery shopping on Saturday morning, at the SAME time that we planned to go for breakfast, she could’ve gone that same afternoon, she could’ve gone on Sunday, he even told her he could go that same Friday but no, she specifically wanted to go on Saturday, so we ended up seeing each other on Sunday. Then today we were supposed to go out but in the morning he told me his mom wanted to run some errands after work, so he would have to wait until 7 pm, by that time it was honestly too late for him to come to my house and go where we wanted to eat, so we ended up not meeting.
I know it’s not just his car, and his family can also use and need it, but i don’t understand why they always come up with something to do or plans of their own AFTER he asked for permission to take it and they all give him the okay. It’s extremely frustrating and honestly tiring, i could be a little understating if it was because of emergencies but no, it’s always some just something silly that in all honestly, could’ve waited. We’re supposed to have a date at night and his mom knew the whole week? suddenly that same night she asks for the car because his sister has plans and she’s driving her. He’s on his way to pick me up? she suddenly needs him to give his cousin a ride and buy some things from the store. He’s getting ready to come to my house? actually his brother wants to go to the movies. It’s Always something stupid.
Sometimes it’s just a change to our plans, sometimes i end up waiting up to 2 and a half hours for him to pick me up but i’ve also been stood up because of this. I’m getting so tired of it, and the fact that he never puts his foot down with them is annoying. I know it’s not his fault and if it was just on him these things wouldn’t happen, but what am i supposed to do? Fight his mom?
Lately when it happens I end up extremely angry at him and even when our plans were just changed I end up canceling them out of anger. I don’t want to keep resenting him for this, he puts in too much effort in planning things for me, driving me, taking me home and paying for me. I want to make him feel my appreciation but really, how can i not be mad? or am I out of line for feeling this way? should i just give up and ignore this when it happens?
It has been an issue in our relationship for a while, and even tho it will probably continue to happen, I don’t wan it to affect us the way it does :(
TL;DR; My boyfriend is always canceling and changing our plans because of his family, how can I stop blaming him?