Привет!
I am not sure if this is the correct subreddit for this but I did not know where else to go. I was watching a Serbian show called Black Sun, and there is a scene where two soldiers sing a song in Russian. I do not know if the song was written for the show or if it's an actual Russian folk song. If someone knows the name of the song I would appreciate it a lot. Since I cannot seem to find a recording of it anywhere, and since I don't think I can attach an audio or video file to the post, I put it on Mega so you can take a look, the link is in my comment below.
Спасибо :)

I've had a pretty hard youth all the way to now being young adult, primarily because of my family from both sides as well as my individual challenges in life battling loneliness and being the "odd one out" as I personally feel among others.
I basically had to raise myself up to become an independent adult instead of my parents, which also applies to learning this beautiful entirely on my own. I've been learning more and more and try to break this social anxiety I have meeting with other young shias. Basically wanting to become a better Muslim, woman and of course a better human overall in Allah's swt name, as my way of worshipping him and my obedience to him.
There's however a dua I desperately wanting to get accepted and answered in the near future. It didn't happen now, but I know it's because it was a new chapter in life I wasn't ready for. And I thank Allah swt everyday for that cause I knew from myself that I have to improve myself more in knowledge and experience. Having patience is what I'm currently learning and accepting.
But I'm so scared that this Dua I so much want to become true, for my own good and to finally achieve happiness from it, will somehow not come true. I've heard many stories online and in real life how duas weren't accepted by Allah swt even if they were harmless, realistic to achieve and completely halal. I cry everyday, talking to Allah, begging that I don't want anything in life but to make this Dua come true. Becoming so incredibly vulnerable and desperate, to the point where I just think to myself "Allah swt doesn't burden a soul more than he can take... but i feel like I'm reaching my limit and want something I want...for once." I know I know... I shouldn't doubt in Allah's mercy and love for me (for all of us Muslims).
But surely... it would be quite brutal to not have my deepest wish and halal desire not to be fulfilled right (?) I'm so lost and I beg and beg Allah swt to grant me this Dua, and to make it happen I'll change my way of life as a Muslim completely. That's the only exchange for it to happen...
I just hope Allah swt grants me this Dua to into fruitation, that's all I want... I'll have sabr... I won't underestimate Allah swt his Mercy and love for me. I just hope my next ten years won't be more agony and difficulties like I've been living for more than a decade.
That's all. I just had to rant a bit and pour out my heart, especially since I'm crying right now as I'm typing this. I've become too desperate at this point as you can tell. But I have nobody I can share this with safely so yeah... :')

Hi everyone, I want to do something similar to this video: Hiding a Screen Behind a Painting (youtube.com): you twist the painting from frontside to backside by: 1: a horizontal motion of the axle; 2: rotation of this axle.
Background: My sister is a painter, I will soon move in my first house :) Space is very limited, and I would love to have one of her paintings as a centerpiece of the living room. I want to mimic the motion system of the video above, but in a way that it is not/barely visible. To do this, the motion system must be extremely compact, so that I can integrate it in the painting frame. (The painting itself would move, but not the painting frame, which 'hides' the motion system).
The way I imagine it to work is as follows, but perhaps you have a better idea? - Use a linear motion guide so that the axle can move to the left and right ends of the frame. For this, I was thinking of a SSR 20XV or something similar? (THK SSR - LM Systems) - On this linear motion guide, I would need to mount a bearing that lets the axle can rotate freely.
I have NEVER worked with such motion systems, so have no idea where to start and if this idea would actually work. Any help is welcome, I'll share the design notes once everything is finished :)
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Hi, I've recently build a Surly Straggler with a Shimano 105 R-5703 (3x10 road groupset). The crankset chainrings are 50-39-30. I intend to use this bike as a commuter but also a bikepacking rig (for light gravel roads). Still, I'm usually pretty loaded and don't use the 50 teeth chainring that much.
I'm thinking of buying a smaller chainring (to get smth like 39-30-20 smth). Would that be possible? If so, where can I find chainring smaller then 30 teeth for Shimano 10 sp road groupset? I looked online and couldn't find any.
Thank you!

I used to be able to watch back to back seasons while binging this show the first couple of years. Now I can barely even get thru these 40 min long episodes. It’s become so uninteresting and boring. When the kids and everyday life were involved it was actually interesting. Now every episodes ends at some random party where everyone gets drunk and then it’s an uninteresting cliff hanger until next week.

I have snippets of memories that pop into my head randomly about this, and other possible past lives. I've been keeping a mental log of all of it. Honestly at first I thought it was a piece of fiction I was really into as a kid, but after going over every single book, show, and movie it could have possibly been, I really don't think that's the case, especially given how much I seem to be inserted into the experience itself. (but please tell me if any of this sounds familiar, I'd be happy to find out it's just a piece of fiction I really enjoyed so I can read/watch it and experience it again)
The most striking memory was of a group of my people and I, in a large crater-like landmass on the planet. The night sky is beautiful and we're all staring up at the sky. There is a great sense of oneness with myself and all of my people. We have reverence for the stars but do not worship them.
Our technology is incredibly advanced, hundreds of thousands of years beyond human technology from what I can tell, and yet almost all of it is either built on, or somehow integrated with consciousness. Consciousness seems to be somehow used as a source to produce energy in the physical world.
The sense of oneness allows each of us to possess all of the practical knowledge of all of our people. Things like mathematics are done intuitively through an understanding of consciousness.
Strangely enough, there is an (alien, to us) military-like presence on the planet. We don't see them as a major threat, but are wary of them. They seem like they may from an Earth country's military. I am assigned to oversee one of these visitors, and my people distrust them, though see very little in the way of a threat from them. If anything there's a sense that the threat is in their comparative childishness, that they might somehow accidentally get themselves hurt or break something.
This particular person I am overseeing tries to steal something from us, some form of technology, and my people are enraged by this. They want to demand that all of his people leave our planet, once the object is recovered. The object is incredibly dangerous for him to possess because of how it can effect his body, and I manage to track him down and retrieve it. He is gravely ill.
I use some kind of healing method on him, and try to get my people to change their mind about sending their people away. They are stubborn about it, but I feel like it is eventually diplomatically resolved.
I feel like if I can somehow go deeper into my mind, I can unravel more of this over time. It may well have been a dream, but if it was, it's so linear and I feel like I was actually there. I feel it must be some kind of experience I was in at some point. Who knows lol.

Hi! Sorry for the cheesy title. You can call me Aether! I’m a 22 year old Male from the US looking for his potential best friend or soulmate here. You never know where it can happen!
A bit about me: I’m in college part time, studying fine arts and clinical psychology while working full time in a state hospital, but don’t let that deter you! I always make time for people, which means I’ll make time for you too! I’m from the southern USA, and while I’d prefer you be closer to me, I’m not going to turn you away if there’s a greater distance. Soulmates could be anywhere these days! While I don’t exactly want to meet just yet (I want to get comfortable with you first— 🥺) I want to make an effort to do so eventually!
I am autistic by the way, just to give you a heads up. I don’t require you to do extensive research on the topic, but being just aware of it is more than enough for me. :> bonus if you’re also autistic or neurodivergent yourself! :>
I’m a gamer! I play on all platforms, including: Xbox Series X, PS5, Switch, Meta Quest 3, and PC! Right now I’m back in my competitive gaming zone. You’ll often find me on Fortnite, war zone, or overwatch 2! That isn’t to say I don’t play other games as well though— Minecraft, Roblox, dead by daylight, Evil Dead, Texas chainsaw and more! I have a whole library of games now basically. I would love to stay up late playing games with my special someone! Doesn’t matter what game!
I love watching anime (MHA primarily, creative writing, photo editing, watching crime documentaries, superheroes, comics, and a bunch of other things!
What I’m looking for:
Someone around the ages 18-25, someone who values good communication, shares some common interests, and can be funny! I love being sent memes and would adore being sent them by you!
When you message please send a short intro about you! And please make it more than just a hello! Tell me about you! I want to know what you’re all about! :D

I've researched this but couldn't find anything cut and dry on this topic so I'm putting it out there in case any of you brilliant folks know an answer. Here's the plot:

1. I have a media library with content that sometimes differs from TVDB because TVDB is patently wrong about some TV shows. Before anyone says "just use TVDB", sorry, that's not negotiable. I've seen the threads so am not asking about TMDB support in Sonarr. ;-) lol
   
2. I import much from elsewhere and merge it on my Sonarr workstation from which I manage my NAS. Means I use the Library Import feature A LOT. Sonar is a wonderful tool for managing my "wish list". I don't usually use it to automate downloads, but that's a separate matter I won't get into. What works for me is feeding watched folders in an off-site DL machine, followed by sneaker netting the material home from time to time.
   

The problem: Sonarr's library Import feature can't match the shows where the content blows TVDB's mind, so then the fuzzy matching wants to apply entirely WRONG shows to those folders.
The impact: This sets me up for needing to delicately dodge these TMDB<>TVDB shows, on every import, forever. If I make a mistake, I am punished with a fairly nasty cleanup mystery to solve. I also have a few shows that are so obscure they don't exist anywhere online, so I've made my own metadata for a beautiful Kodi experience. Sonarr always encourages me to import them under random TVDB shows with similar names.
Back to the question: Can anyone think of a way to make Sonarr ignore these folders? I know the media is good, Kodi is happy, I'm happy, TVDB is merely wrong so please drop it Sonarr. :)
I saw ideas like .sonarrignore flag files, but the threads were unanswered or silently closed. I've tried a permission based approach, but Samba doesn't really give granular folder permissions in a home network environment from what I can work out. Any other ideas? (Sorry for the length.)

When I hear or read about a film that's relatively obscure, it's a struggle to find it to watch. When I say obscure, I mean films in the vein of Love Exposure, 964 Pinocchio, Throw Away Your Books Rally in the Streets etc.
(I chose the above examples knowing they're relatively "popular" examples of arthouse. But they would be obscure for most mainstream viewers, and probably the first titles to come across for someone who's getting into more obscure variety of arthouse films. I just mention them to make clear what I mean by obscure arthouse film. In fact, they're all available on Internet Archive.)
Criterion Collection and MUBI are probably the most formal places to find and watch arthouse films. But they don't always have really obscure ones.
Internet Archive have many films, some obscure ones too, but really deep dive types seem to be absent or sometimes in broken files.
Torrenting sometimes helps, but even when you find the torrent link for an obscure film, the seeders are so few that it's unable to complete the download.
Not to mention that most of these kind of films have never had DVD releases, or at least are not available anymore.
So where do you find truly obscure films that you hear about on Letterboxd, blogs, magazines or from someone, when they're unavailable in the above mentioned sources?
Do you have go-to places (websites, forums?) for films that have a few hundred or thousand logs on LB or IMDb at most, and only a few reviews if any? How do people who write about them online find and watch them?
Here are some films that I wanted to see recently but couldn't find to exemplify what I mean by really obscure: A New Life (2002, Grandrieux), Timeless Bottomless Bad Movie (1997, Sun-woo)**, Injured College Girl (1995, Slocombe).
**: This is on Internet Archive but the file was broken when I last checked.
PS: Maybe these are all not that hard to find and I'm just bad at searching for films. Guide me if you think so, I wanna know how to look for obscure titles.

Hi! Sorry for the cheesy title. You can call me Aether! I’m a 22 year old Male from the US looking for his potential best friend or soulmate here. You never know where it can happen!
A bit about me: I’m in college part time, studying fine arts and clinical psychology while working full time in a state hospital, but don’t let that deter you! I always make time for people, which means I’ll make time for you too! I’m from the southern USA, and while I’d prefer you be closer to me, I’m not going to turn you away if there’s a greater distance. Soulmates could be anywhere these days! While I don’t exactly want to meet just yet (I want to get comfortable with you first— 🥺) I want to make an effort to do so eventually!
I am autistic by the way, just to give you a heads up. I don’t require you to do extensive research on the topic, but being just aware of it is more than enough for me. :> bonus if you’re also autistic or neurodivergent yourself! :>
I’m a gamer! I play on all platforms, including: Xbox Series X, PS5, Switch, Meta Quest 3, and PC! Right now I’m back in my competitive gaming zone. You’ll often find me on Fortnite, war zone, or overwatch 2! That isn’t to say I don’t play other games as well though— Minecraft, Roblox, dead by daylight, Evil Dead, Texas chainsaw and more! I have a whole library of games now basically. I would love to stay up late playing games with my special someone! Doesn’t matter what game!
I love watching anime (MHA primarily, creative writing, photo editing, watching crime documentaries, superheroes, comics, and a bunch of other things!
What I’m looking for:
Someone around the ages 18-25, someone who values good communication, shares some common interests, and can be funny! I love being sent memes and would adore being sent them by you!
When you message please send a short intro about you! And please make it more than just a hello! Tell me about you! I want to know what you’re all about! :D

Hi guys, so I’ve been going through this situation since 2020 and it’s taken so much out of me that I finally am speaking out and looking for some advice. So in 2020 my girlfriend (L)gbtq introduced me to her transgender cousin (male to female) which I absolutely support and never had an issue with, this girl was super sweet to me, pretty, nice and seemed down to earth so we started talking and hanging out and FaceTiming a lot, she had confided in me a lot and I did at times as well so I felt like we were getting close, that was until she made this comment to me which was a little of a red flag, she said “I can tell your not Walmart” when she seen all the Sephora makeup I had and it genuinely showed me she is materialistic, she would stay with me and my gf from time to time while she went through some stuff with her family and I would notice when she was around my lipglosses and lip masks would go missing, my purses and blow dryer would always go missing as well and I found it all in the guest room she was staying in, I noticed afterwards she started mimicking me constantly, she’s always been the type to wear super long wigs/extensions but I noticed she started cutting her hair up to her shoulders like mine and cutting bangs just like mine, I felt like we looked too alike so I dyed my hair blonde and she did that as well🫣 I noticed at some point she started pushing away from me and not hang with me as much but she would always watch my social media accounts and post things that were super similar to my posts right after I would post and it made me feel like my sense of individuality was taken, she took all my hobbies and they were hers now, and she started to do her hair and makeup just like me, my girlfriend was uncomfortable because she never seen her cousin try to act exactly like someone she’s dated before, soon after I got a message from an ex of mine and they mentioned to me how she was constantly trying to request him, message him, get his attention and it was so odd that she was trying to date or hook up with my ex while I was letting her live with me and trying to help her get back on her feet, I actually let that go and decided I’m just not gonna associate with her and that’s when I removed her from all of my social medias and I forgot about her quick, soon after I noticed that she changed her name to my name on instagram?? She was now claiming her name was my exact name and I was so scared (she only left one letter out of my name so it could seem like she wasn’t trying to copy my life) but I soon messaged her and told her how I felt about it which led up to a group of her cousins attacking me and telling me to fight it out with her (she’s 6ft and I’m 5ft and not to mention we are different genders) so I just felt like they were leaving no way to resolve this situation, me and my gf decided to just do our own thing and ignore them for a while and that was until she found my private tattoo artist and started making appointments with him constantly so the point where I was uncomfortable going to my artist and had to find a new one because her and her friend had told me when they see me it’s ‘green light’ which is indication to “shoot me dead???” I did not want to run into her at my artists studio, I’ve never said anything bad for this girl to attack my life like this to the point where it’s been 4 years later and she is still going, I don’t talk to her, I don’t talk about her, I even removed at least 600 people off of my social media and I became super low key and private, but I noticed recently even though I stay to myself and have under 100 followers, everytime I update my bio or profile photo she copies it, I put some cool fonts and she did right after, I started calling myself ‘fairy’ as a nick name and she started doing the same so I changed my social media persona to ‘dolly’ and now she calls herself a doll in all her posts, if I’m wearing black and white in my profile photo, she changes her profile photo to her wearing those colors, I was wearing green cargos and a white zip up in my pfp and that night she changed her profile photo to her wearing green pants and a white tank…. I feel like anything I do I have no sense of individuality it’s to the point where I put an anime character with black bangs as my pfp to just hide and she changed hers to a different character with bangs. I know to most it’s not serious but I feel like this person is just trying to get a reaction out of me in any way they can to make me look like I’m the one starting and I just don’t know what to do anymore. There have been times me and my gf have let her stay with us and our only ask to her is to finish school, work and not disrespect our home and she’s never worked a day under our roof, took so much from us promising she would help out and never did, she’s left our apartment doors unlocked while no one was home for hours and hours so she could come and go whenever she pleases, we’ve asked her to make sure to fill us in if she is going out straight after classes so we know to lock the doors when we leave or to wait for her until she gets home from classes but even everytime we’ve tried to make an effort to support or be there for her she’s always turned us down but complains that no one is there for her. I just feel like 4 years that this is happening there is something else motivating her to continue to do this to me, I don’t associate with anyone she knows so there’s really nothing I can’t thing of that I am doing that is fueling her, I feel like this is turning into a case of stalking and it won’t stop until I do something that will stop it

I made one other post on here in regards to my husband but would like insight on some things so little by little will probably post different scenarios to get outsiders insight on situations.
Okay, sorry if this is all over the place but I want some insight from others not involved in the situation whatsoever. Feel free to ask for any clarity etc.
I (29F) and my husband (36M) have 2 kids. To protect their privacy I would prefer not to share details but I will share vague info. They are elementary aged. I put off my own schooling to focus on getting our kids established and we do virtual homeschooling. My husband has never been able to hold down a job due to a few health things (anxiety that he uses medication for, and a few years in he got diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis and EOE but he doesn't stay on top of his own care). We live with my mom. He has lived with me under my moms roof for what would have been 12 years later this year.
Here is where I am asking for insight.
My mom witnessed him becoming more and more emotionally and verbally abusive. She sent him to his grandmas March 1st. My brother and I drove him down and we slept there and drove home the next day. He has been down there since. So 2 months. It was originally supposed to be around 2 weeks but then they asked about him staying another week. He was supposed to call my mom and they were supposed to talk about him coming back home. The one phone call they had he was making an excuse for why he yelled at me on the phone since he'd even been down there and then all he cared to talk about was his doctor(nurse practitioner) not sending his medicine, his insurance issues and all about his medicines. He is addicted to prescription drugs as well. If more info is needed I can elaborate but trying to keep this as short as possible but with enough details. He has also told us to go file divorce papers(I have never indicated separation, this was simply my mom wanting him to appreciate us and treat us better which it seems he is a narcissist and incapable of loving anyone but himself), custody, coparenting etc. So in his mind his is flipping it into US needing to work on our marriage instead of HIM working on how he treats me and our children.
He has barely talked to our kids. In the beginning I kept complaining about his lack of talking to them, then he would only try to call late at night. As I mentioned, they are school aged. I'm talking like 9:00pm or later he wanted to talk to them. Like I said, he didn't work and was aware of them having early mornings so this irked me. I told him he needed to stop putting us all off until the end of the day and it was completely rude and disrespectful to our kids time. He said he's busy and calls when he can.... I told him that's unacceptable and he needs to carve out a little time earlier in the day for them. I told him not to call after 8:00pm, which is still late quite frankly but better than 9 or 10. He has talked to them less than 10 times(don't know the exact amount so being generous with an estimation) I can look at my call log if necessary and try to weed out when he actually talked with THEM. Anywho, there was one Thursday night when he was supposed to call and I gave him a time and said no video chatting(he always tries to force me to be involved and I was busy and didn't want a camera being shoved in my face). He asked why not. I explained it wasn't a good night. He asked if he could video chat them Friday instead because he had things he wanted to show them. I made sure I was clear on what he meant and asked if he meant NOT talk to them "tonight" in order to videochat "tomorrow"? (this happened in the past hence the "") He said yes. He had not talked to them in 2 weeks at that point. So I was mad that he didn't ask if he could talk to them tonight but videochat them tomorrow as well....but then he said he was busy anyway so that would work better.....okay. Friday comes. He CALLS them. He was SO distracted on the phone and BARELY talked to them. He mentioned his brother had reached out about hanging out so I am thinking he was texting him while on the phone with them, but I don't know. I told our older child he was supposed to videochat so they mentioned it to him and he took a few minutes to send the link(iphone to android videochat) our child texted because it was taking so long. He finally sent the link and they were videochatting. He wasn't trying to show them anything. I mentioned he was supposed to show them stuff. He mentioned a coloring book and they had to ASK to see it. Then they ASKED about grannys dog so he showed them the dog. I gave them a time limit but gave wiggle room for the sake of our kids. I realized the chatting was going nowhere because he just wasn't interested in talking to them. Our older child mentions needing to go, then he says something like the child hadn't said they needed to go, in order to make it look like he "cared" like, "oh mommy said a time but I don't remember what it was so we probably need to go" they were over 10 minutes past, and I knew it but again I gave wiggle room for the kids. I chewed him out in a text and he admitted I was right and he was distracted and gave 348724985 excuses for what happened that day as to why he was distracted but I didn't want to hear any of it.
My kids very rarely bring him up. I ask them here and there how they are feeling about things and they are both sad but one of our kids even said that daddy was mean sometimes. That crushed me. I didn't know they felt that way. I didn't realize how bad things had gotten. I know what I went through and dealt with, but I was so blind to how he was doing them. I feel awful. And it came from the kid I would least expect it to come from cuz he seemed to give them more attention. I don't think the kids have asked to call him a single time. If they did I would absolutely not stop them, I'm not keeping them from talking to him. I am however setting boundaries on his side of things because he has no respect for our kids and their time. While he was on the phone with them he even brought up having issues with his doctor(NP) and meds. He talked to them for maybe around 30 minutes, most of which was the kids trying to talk and him saying.....uh......what? and telling one kid he was proud of them, they asked what for, he said......uh.....you're getting so big.
Side note; he mentioned I always have to say "something" (I am calling him out on his crap and not allowing him to use excuses anymore) and if I can't be peaceful we can't coparent. He informed me via TEXT April 17th that he now LIVED there. Has been so uninvolved already but ESPECIALLY now). I told him he has NO right to tell me how to COPARENT when he can't even PARENT to begin with and told him to ask HIMSELF a few questions and if he couldn't answer them he needs to reevaluate how good of a parent he is before trying to come at me for how I am PARENTING. I DO IT ALL. Anyways, like I said, we virtual homeschool and he was "involved" enough to know basics. So one of the questions was what grade both kids are in. He responded with his answers. He was wrong on both. Couldn't tell me what clothing size one was and was wrong on shoe size for both as well. He did get one of the kids teacher and speech therapist right but the teacher is a repeat from our older student and the speech therapist has been with us since the beginning so I knew he should know at least THAT one. I'm wondering if he googled what size one may be in because he mentioned a size not common to all stores but I do give him credit for answering what he did correctly. Its the ones that are incorrect though that are of issue. And I didn't correct him. He wasn't supposed to send me answers. I said to ask himself. He was just to cocky thinking he was really getting himself a "gotcha" moment. It makes me sad. I did tell my kids not to answer any questions if they videochatted(which I admit I didn't like doing, but with all circumstances I don't want him using them to answer questions making it seem like he knows more than he truly does) I told my older child what grade he thought they were in and they pointed out, "I was in ---grade when he left....." But we kinda laughed about how stupid/silly/dorkish it was and I am NOT trying to make him look bad. I shield our kids from a lot because I don't want their opinions of anyone swayed any way due to something someone else says. Same goes for their dad. Regardless of how I feel about him and the way he's done I don't want them holding things against him and distancing themselves due to things that don't need to divulged to them to begin with.
I'm sorry this was a lot, and it's probably all over the place and a mess.. I just need insight or opinions from someone that isn't involved or related to either of us so opinions won't be swayed. If any more info is needed in regards to myself or my husband feel free to ask.
I will also be moving forward with my schooling possibly this year or next depending. I wanted both of our kids established and while I'm not sure I'm quite ready because my younger student still requires more help and needs improvement with reading for me to be fully comfortable I may be able to start online courses in the meantime if able to do so before doing in person things eventually. My husband was no help with the kids and when he sat in or did attempt he had ZERO patience and was awful. So I limited what I would ask him to help with and did all the "heavy lifting" myself. We are all doing much better mentally and our younger child is unlearning some behaviors and is a completely different kid. They are coming out of their shell and while they've always been loving now they are even more sweet and loving and involved with others. I have seen so much improvement. And their dad has not mentioned talking to them SINCE that friday which was May 3rd, so it has been 10 days at this point.
Thank you to anyone that has read this trainwreck. If you think I handled things wrong and have advice on how to better handle things as well please feel free to advise away. While I am hoping I won't get ripped to shreds, I appreciate blunt honesty and can handle constructive criticism. :)

Hi~ I'm looking for someone to just chit chat, talk about hobbies and do silly stuff as friends. I'm kinda tired of guy spaces as the guys around me always talk about football, girls, and investing in stock market (ew). I'm not ready for a serious relationship yet, I just wanna make friends.
Here's some stuff about me:
• I'm 5'9... I guess? 175 in centimeters, idk the imperial system that well. I'm 110 kilos (which is a lot ik) but I promise don't look like I weigh that much.
• I have kinda long dark hair, I've grown it down to my shoulders before and I plan on growing it again. I usually dress quite simple with a t shirt and jeans with a jacket, all black, but I'd love to explore different styles. I'm very into alternative and grunge aesthetic and I'll definitely rebuild my wardrobe with alternative/grunge stuff once I lose the weight, especially feminine stuff like skirts...
• I often use he/him pronuns since I look way too manly but I'm actually trans! I usually prefer they/them pronouns over he/him and in long term I plan on starting HRT, just not right now. I'm still new to the community so I might not be able to answer most questions but if you're also queetrans and want to ask questions, or maybe just want another friend from the community I'd LOVE to too.
• I love jewelry and make up. I've just started using make up and I've only tried using foundation, eyeliner and nail polishes so far but I'm trying to improve. Also I love rings, earrings, bracelets... Not a big fan of necklaces but still, they're pretty.
• I don't oppose meeting irl but I'm usually extremely nervous around people I recently met so I prefer starting from online, I'd be open to discuss about an irl meeting afterwards.
• I listen to a variety of song genres but I love metal. Recently I've been listening A7X and Slipknot for the most of the time but I'm open to explore any genre.
• I'm very unfamiliar with TV series/movies but I'm willing to watch some new things. I've watched some anime in high school too, I watched AOT, Naruto and Fairy Tail as well as Black Lagoon and some other 12 episode short animes but I don't remember all of them. Anyway, I'm open to suggestions.
• I have a LOT of hobbies. I don't even know where to start. I play guitar a little and I make songs on FL studio but I'm still amateur, yet I have one or two songs that I've written and I'd love to have a friend to talk about music. I like talking about politics but I don't like strictly one sided opinions, I don't like fanatics. In terms of science I love astronomy and theoretical physics, and I will yap a lot about them if you'd like to listen. I also love philosophy and sociology even though I don't have that much knowledge about them so I'd probably listen more than talk about those topics. I also yap about economy sometimes but I know very little about it. I don't draw but I love art so if you're an artist I can hit you with one or two suggestions and an endless amount of compliments.
• I don't like religious debates. I respect everyone's belief but I don't like sharing opinions about each other's religion since it could raise the tension a lot so... I prefer to keep it to ourselves.
• I used to play games but my PC broke so I quitted about a year ago. The PC was old anyway so I could only play LoL, Call of Duty (old singleplayer ones like black ops 1), Need for Speed MW... I mostly played singleplayer games so I can't be a game buddy but I can talk about games.
Once you get to know me, you'll meet with a ton of shitposts, absolutely meaningless memes and made up scenarios where you might end up as a 10ft chair running away from a blood thirsted sea turtle named Globblegunk or overthrowing the government with an ape clan all using telekinesis to fight. Yeah... like I said, silly stuff.

For context: This is my first job out of college. Spent months and months applying with nothing but rejection. I finished a master's, yet I don't think I know much or am very good at chemistry.
I have been working at this place for slightly less than 2 months so far. Training is very rough, I had to go out of my way and beg somebody to train me for HPLC, since I want to learn it as a skill. The QC head at first outright refused, saying something like "He doesn't have experience, he won't know how to do X, Y, Z anyway". If I need to learn how to insert myself on production batches, then I am at best a third wheel and I only inconvenience my coworkers.
The past few weeks my boss is getting worse with his criticisms and attitude toward me, to the point that it is greatly affecting my mental health. I'll be doing a reaction for the first time and he's essentially a drill sergeant while also being degrading about my potential as a chemist. "Where did you learn chemistry", "I'm disappointed", etc. - And no - no major mistakes where I failed a reaction or broke something expensive.
Today he said that I'm a disappointment to the company and that he expected more from me when I was hired. He also said my 2 coworkers (ones who are also young like me), do not want to work with me or like me, because I don't catch on quickly/am not a quick learner and "I just sit and watch" instead of inserting myself on large-scale production batches. He said I should avoid asking them questions too, because it might make me look dumb.
I've been trying my best to learn the processes. This is a small pharmaceutical production company with hundreds of thousands of dollars at stake if a reaction goes wrong. People who can independently run these will have at least 3+ years of experience, but even then, most of the time it is done by someone who's been here for 10+ years. I try to insert myself and always ask questions/offer help and I can tell I'm just annoying them.
My boss will nitpick and find little things to criticize me about. How I did a calculation, for example. It gave me the correct answer, yet he said I make it too confusing and write too much/take too long to do the calculation. If I'm using a new piece of glassware/fitting that I've never used before, he basically won't tell me what to do and act like my own intuition and problem-solving should tell me all I need to know - no training required, this isn't school, this is your job - his words.
He might actually show me how to do something one time and expect me to have mastered it if it needs to be done a month later. It could be something that has a good amount of steps such as adjusting several valves in a certain order on top of other things. I make one mistake on said process, I'll be berated and told I don't pay attention.
And lastly, there's quite the language barrier here. Both of the people who run this department including my boss, do not speak English well. I cannot always understand what they say and they get mad when I misinterpret it.
I just want to gain experience and eventually be a success. But from what he's been saying and what he said today, it makes me feel like a total failure and that I am too dumb to work and my degree is a lie. I'm so scared that if I lose this job, it will be another 8 months of my life down the drain, with nothing but rejection and unemployment... I just don't know what to do.

I remember a movie I watched when I was a kid where a group of prisoners are abandoned in a sandy desert. The leader of the people who abandoned the prisoners gestures towards anoyher group of people known as the "sand pirates". These pirates then begin to kill the prisoners. The only line I remember is the leader of the sand pirates shouting "that one's still alive, kill him" then one of his group finishes off the survivor with some kind of makeshift axe. I've tried to find this movie for ages but have had zero luck. Any help would be appreciated. TIA

Posting to help myself process the climb and provide thoughts for others thinking about Denali unguided on minimal experience. Open to thoughts and critique from people who know what they're doing. I'm obliged to thank all those who provided their thoughts and guidance to me on this subreddit a year ago. Also, to the guidance from Steve House and the other guy in their YouTube Denali video.
TLDR: Did not summit, learned lots.
It was a great idea... We trained pretty hard in the flatlands... We bought lots of good gear... and some not so good..... We were optimistic.....And realistic, we thought....
But... man, oh man. Denali is BIG, Alaska is BIG. And Talkeetna felt very small after 24 hours.
First alert was assembling our food. We drop shipped almost all the food to our hotel in Anchorage. We got in about 9pm, got everything from the desk and walked over to Wal Mart for the rest. Started packing food into daily rations about 10pm. We thought that would take 30 minutes. Try close to four hours, confusion, second guessing ourselves and each other on quantities, days, recipes. Got to sleep much later than we thought. We both worried that we'd be tired, maybe too tired for when we were dropped off on the glacier the next afternoon. HAH!!
Met Gary the shuttle driver the next morning. Watch some other TRs on YouTube and you'll get to know Gary, friendly, outgoing with good info about Talkeetna. We arrive on time, go through check in and somehow we got bumped out of our Ranger meeting. Come back later and we'll still have time to get to our flight. Did I mention it's overcast with light rain? Go through the ranger meeting, head over to TAT to find that we're 76th and 77th on the waitlist with. "Come back tomorrow at 8am for an update." Two guys we met on the shuttle actually make the plane that day because they understood the process with TAT and were all set to go after the Ranger meeting. Guy at TAT checks us in and takes our $$. No other info is offered or asked for. We're aware we need sleds and wands but we guess they just go on the plane with us.
We find the TAT climbing hostel and are grateful to find two bunks in the same room. My buddy is, not germophobic, but he is right up to that line. We eat at a restaurant that night, figuring, hey, 7 climbers per flight, 11 flights, mid afternoon tomorrow right? We check in at TAT at 8am, they're making waffles and have actually great coffee. But they have no idea if there'll be any flights today. Wander back and forth from the hostel, through town to the airfield. This is day 2 of 16 days we've given ourselves to go up. At day 16, no matter where we are, we go down.
Day 3, repeat day 2 but now we're using the hostel kitchen. I'm cool with the level of hygiene because this is only a level or two beyond how I grew up, when things got chaotic. I'm impressed with my buddy's fortitude, and grateful because I don't want to pay for food when it's already been bought. We hear good news that afternoon about the weather. Buddy suggests we get an AirBnB for this night to get a good nights sleep and clean shower before we likely fly out the next day.
Day 4, the weather starts to clear and now there's real activity at the airfield. My buddy, who doesn't sit still well, joins a group of workers at the airfield digging a trench. I sit on the deck, breathing deeply and hoping we can get out today. Then we get word we're up soon. Then I ask, hey what about sleds and wands? Find out climbers should get this arranged right after check in and we scramble around getting this set up. I grab a sled without looking it over well. As we and our gear are being driven over, I see this sled has some serious cracks and swap for a better one 10 minutes before we fly out.
The flight up is amazing. The transition on the glacier is hectic, a short controversy about which mountain can belongs to who and we get off the landing strip quick. We find a spot to set our tent a fair ways up the hill and get to work melting water for dinner and the next day. Take my skis out in order to prep for tomorrow and find the front straps of my skins have torn and are irreparable. I walk around camp, find a guy who's leaving who sells me his skins for $50. Can't believe how lucky I am. I walk around and get pictures, bury, wand and gps tag our cache. I'm blown away, I'm alive in a way I've only experienced a few other times in my life. I'm excited to get going in the wee hours of day 5. Plenty of days left, right?
Get up and going on time. Feels so good to be hauling the sled, carrying the pack. Going down is helpful. Going on flat and climbing isn't bad. I am working harder than my buddy(MB) from here on. He's 20 years younger and places top 5 in regional ultras, I'm a caboose guy at these. Anyhow, I feel like I'm holding him up, like he's disappointed in our pace. We arrive at 8K camp 8 hours later. MB points out that successful groups do this in 6hrs. I'm reply I'm working at a pace that I believe gets me to 14K in good shape, and what else did you want to do today? Ends fine, we each accept where the other one's at. Set up camp, Denali Pizza (simple and awesome) for dinner. Melt water, pull out the gear, food we'll cache at about 9.5K tomorrow. Good day, amazing as clouds lift a bit and we see more terrain.
Day 6, realize we're not eating 2 bagels each per day. We've over planned with bagels and several other foods. Too much weight but unsure about how to move things around. Lighter packs, lighter sleds and the first real climb. We do good work, talk a bit to teams coming down, most not having summitted. Bury, wand and GPS tag our cache. Tie empty sleds to our packs and head down. When we get to the real down hill, it's trashy, flat light, and I'll own this: I was rattled being off balance with a bit more weight and bulk going down. Got in my head and took some time to descend. MB frustrated or just me in my head? Got back down, did camp work, napped, ate dinner.
Day 7, push up to 11K. Snow picking up and visibility still good. I'm slower than MB again, and even though this is a fact we're both well aware of since we talked about Denali 3 years ago, it's in my head and won't leave that I'm holding us back. We start up the first real climb into 11 camp. Wind blown snow is making wands hard to see, we're using his Garmin to verify the route. The skins I bought at the airfield don't cover the width of my skis at the tips and tails. As we're taking an aggressive elevation gain on switchbacks, I'm slipping more and more with less skin to snow contact. We crest the rise and hike through the camp to find a spot at the uphill end. We begin setting up camp. I mention looking forward to having a kitchen tent now that we'll be in the same place for 3 days. MB basically says, go ahead but I don't think we need that and I won't be part of digging it out or setting it up. I get started probing an area, setting the outline of the dig and then realize this will take me hours and give up. Dinner, melt water, discuss tomorrow's back hauling. I propose we boot down from 11 camp and put skis on at the base of the climb and MB seems okay with it.
Day 8, wake up to heavy snow. Dig out our enclosure and have breakfast. Put more food we didn't eat into the "carry forward bag" which is getting heavier by the meal. Dig out again, and again, and again. Mid-afternoon we start getting weather reports through garmin in-reach texts with a guy back home and from other teams and guides. Consensus in 6 more days of this but up to 48" per day. I run the math: 8+6=14. Hmmm: 16-14=2. Then I run the flights per day math and number of teams we've seen descending, number of teams likely to descend with this forecast. My math says we could be stuck here 6 days and at the airfield for that or more. All for 2 more possible days of ascent. MB disagrees and wants to wait it out. We walk through various scenarios and I hold firm. MB agrees we'll go down because we both agreed if one wanted to go down for any reason, that was that. MB is a guy who holds to his word in this and all aspects of life.
We pack up. Fast...and sloppy. We want to fly out tomorrow. I'm not excited anymore, I'm anxious and want off Denali. Not be in a tent for two weeks in snow. We boot down the hill below 11 camp, put on skis and find our cache at 9.5, combine stuff. I get my stuff packed well. We start down. The track is blown in and we are navigating entirely by Garmin, using the standard route. Not reversing our climb up, which followed the visible track and wands. Are we actually on safe snow? We're both thinking that question but not saying it out loud. Stupid, stupid, stupid. I'm in front setting the track so MB's sled has something to ride in. If he's in front, his sled tips over. He's calling directions to me for the route, "Left...more left...rightish... too far."
We head down the last hill into 8 camp. I allow my sled to be in front of me and steer it like reins on a horse. Snow plow, keep it slow and things are moving along fine for me. MB wipes out over and over. Repacks his sled and gets down the last 200 yards well. We ski right through 8 camp. Someone asks if we're headed down and then says that if we call in to the airfield from there, we're already in line. True or not, we're finishing this in one push. Visibility is still about 15 feet but now we have a track to follow. We're both cautious with the downs. Don't know if we need to let it rip to go up again or if there's a corner we need to be slow for. We get to the airfield in 9.5 hours. Dig up our cache and consolidate our gear.
MB decides he'd rather not cowboy camp with the fly and we set up the tent and go to sleep. Up at the appointed hour and get in the flight queue. The guy says he'll give us plenty of notice so we can take down our tent, IF we fly out today. I am now watching every cloud for signs of building or diminishing. A few planes fly in, circle and leave. We're napping on and off.
Then I hear the guy yelling, "that's your plane". It's being loaded. We're 200 yards away in our fully set up tent, pads and bags. FUCK, FUCK, FUCK. I go down and ask "what happened?" "I don't know, two guys snaked your flight." Talk a bit more about other stuff, what he's been reading, we're into some similar literature. He then guarantees we'll be on the next flight that comes in, whether today or tomorrow. I'm listening for airplanes full on now, just want to get down and be off the mountain.
We do get on a flight that day, get a hotel and move flights and shuttle to fly out of Anchorage tomorrow. I walk down by the river and call my wife. "Honey, this will sound weird, I need you to tell me I'm really off the mountain and not dreaming." This helps a lot.
We make all our connections and fly out, get back home the next day. If you got this far, thanks, I guess. It's cathartic to write all this down. I replay this trip or parts of it every couple weeks even now. MB and I did our repair work and still call, text, hang out, run together when I'm in town. I do not regret going one bit, yet not getting further up still hits me hard. My fears and reaction to niggling discomforts on the mountain tell me I'm weak.
If I did it again:

1. No skis on Denali for me. I'm a competent skier and can get down serious stuff out west without embarrassing myself. A pack and a sled skiing down through crud with low visibility? Snow shoes all...the...way.
   
2. 4 people, not two. Enough guys to set up a kitchen tent, split camp duties into smaller tasks. I need a place to spread out, talk, cook and eat in a comfortable position.
   

2A. Allow way more time, a month total.

1. Better conversations about pace and relative speed well before the trip.
   
2. We did ropes work, simulated crevasse rescue, camped out in -10F. More time winter camping and skinning in the woods together.
   
3. MB and I climbed Mt Adams. We summitted Rainier together unguided in 8/2022. Took a 3 day custom guided mountaineering class in 12/2021 to learn skills. Didn't go above 7K in the class. Handled our shit well for two days. Not enough time to really know what we're in for physically and work through team frictions about pace, leisure time, camp life. Maybe we could have climbed Rainier and Baker on the same trip? Maybe spend several days at Camp Muir and summit twice? Climb Rainier early season?
   
4. Guided if I try again? Maybe.
   

I read this back and the inner critic says, "I'm a whiny bitch", just like when I am thinking about it every couple weeks. If I go back it can't be about that, not trying to prove that voice wrong. If I go back...it'll be because of that alive feeling I got on the airfield glacier, to have it again, to avail myself of a second chance to live a dream.
Thanks for reading all this. Part confessional, part TR.
I feel better.

Okay, sorry if this is all over the place but I want some insight from others not involved in the situation whatsoever. Feel free to ask for any clarity etc.
I (29F) and my husband (36M) have 2 kids. To protect their privacy I would prefer not to share details but I will share vague info. They are elementary aged. I put off my own schooling to focus on getting our kids established and we do virtual homeschooling. My husband has never been able to hold down a job due to a few health things (anxiety that he uses medication for, and a few years in he got diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis and EOE but he doesn't stay on top of his own care). We live with my mom. He has lived with me under my moms roof for what would have been 12 years later this year.
Here is where I am asking for insight.
My mom witnessed him becoming more and more emotionally and verbally abusive. She sent him to his grandmas March 1st. My brother and I drove him down and we slept there and drove home the next day. He has been down there since. So 2 months. It was originally supposed to be around 2 weeks but then they asked about him staying another week. He was supposed to call my mom and they were supposed to talk about him coming back home. The one phone call they had he was making an excuse for why he yelled at me on the phone since he'd even been down there and then all he cared to talk about was his doctor(nurse practitioner) not sending his medicine, his insurance issues and all about his medicines. He is addicted to prescription drugs as well. If more info is needed I can elaborate but trying to keep this as short as possible but with enough details. He has also told us to go file divorce papers(I have never indicated separation, this was simply my mom wanting him to appreciate us and treat us better which it seems he is a narcissist and incapable of loving anyone but himself), custody, coparenting etc. So in his mind his is flipping it into US needing to work on our marriage instead of HIM working on how he treats me and our children.
He has barely talked to our kids. In the beginning I kept complaining about his lack of talking to them, then he would only try to call late at night. As I mentioned, they are school aged. I'm talking like 9:00pm or later he wanted to talk to them. Like I said, he didn't work and was aware of them having early mornings so this irked me. I told him he needed to stop putting us all off until the end of the day and it was completely rude and disrespectful to our kids time. He said he's busy and calls when he can.... I told him that's unacceptable and he needs to carve out a little time earlier in the day for them. I told him not to call after 8:00pm, which is still late quite frankly but better than 9 or 10. He has talked to them less than 10 times(don't know the exact amount so being generous with an estimation) I can look at my call log if necessary and try to weed out when he actually talked with THEM. Anywho, there was one Thursday night when he was supposed to call and I gave him a time and said no video chatting(he always tries to force me to be involved and I was busy and didn't want a camera being shoved in my face). He asked why not. I explained it wasn't a good night. He asked if he could video chat them Friday instead because he had things he wanted to show them. I made sure I was clear on what he meant and asked if he meant NOT talk to them "tonight" in order to videochat "tomorrow"? (this happened in the past hence the "") He said yes. He had not talked to them in 2 weeks at that point. So I was mad that he didn't ask if he could talk to them tonight but videochat them tomorrow as well....but then he said he was busy anyway so that would work better.....okay. Friday comes. He CALLS them. He was SO distracted on the phone and BARELY talked to them. He mentioned his brother had reached out about hanging out so I am thinking he was texting him while on the phone with them, but I don't know. I told our older child he was supposed to videochat so they mentioned it to him and he took a few minutes to send the link(iphone to android videochat) our child texted because it was taking so long. He finally sent the link and they were videochatting. He wasn't trying to show them anything. I mentioned he was supposed to show them stuff. He mentioned a coloring book and they had to ASK to see it. Then they ASKED about grannys dog so he showed them the dog. I gave them a time limit but gave wiggle room for the sake of our kids. I realized the chatting was going nowhere because he just wasn't interested in talking to them. Our older child mentions needing to go, then he says something like the child hadn't said they needed to go, in order to make it look like he "cared" like, "oh mommy said a time but I don't remember what it was so we probably need to go" they were over 10 minutes past, and I knew it but again I gave wiggle room for the kids. I chewed him out in a text and he admitted I was right and he was distracted and gave 348724985 excuses for what happened that day as to why he was distracted but I didn't want to hear any of it.
My kids very rarely bring him up. I ask them here and there how they are feeling about things and they are both sad but one of our kids even said that daddy was mean sometimes. That crushed me. I didn't know they felt that way. I didn't realize how bad things had gotten. I know what I went through and dealt with, but I was so blind to how he was doing them. I feel awful. And it came from the kid I would least expect it to come from cuz he seemed to give them more attention. I don't think the kids have asked to call him a single time. If they did I would absolutely not stop them, I'm not keeping them from talking to him. I am however setting boundaries on his side of things because he has no respect for our kids and their time. While he was on the phone with them he even brought up having issues with his doctor(NP) and meds. He talked to them for maybe around 30 minutes, most of which was the kids trying to talk and him saying.....uh......what? and telling one kid he was proud of them, they asked what for, he said......uh.....you're getting so big.
Side note; he mentioned I always have to say "something" (I am calling him out on his crap and not allowing him to use excuses anymore) and if I can't be peaceful we can't coparent. He informed me via TEXT April 17th that he now LIVED there. Has been so uninvolved already but ESPECIALLY now). I told him he has NO right to tell me how to COPARENT when he can't even PARENT to begin with and told him to ask HIMSELF a few questions and if he couldn't answer them he needs to reevaluate how good of a parent he is before trying to come at me for how I am PARENTING. I DO IT ALL. Anyways, like I said, we virtual homeschool and he was "involved" enough to know basics. So one of the questions was what grade both kids are in. He responded with his answers. He was wrong on both. Couldn't tell me what clothing size one was and was wrong on shoe size for both as well. He did get one of the kids teacher and speech therapist right but the teacher is a repeat from our older student and the speech therapist has been with us since the beginning so I knew he should know at least THAT one. I'm wondering if he googled what size one may be in because he mentioned a size not common to all stores but I do give him credit for answering what he did correctly. Its the ones that are incorrect though that are of issue. And I didn't correct him. He wasn't supposed to send me answers. I said to ask himself. He was just to cocky thinking he was really getting himself a "gotcha" moment. It makes me sad. I did tell my kids not to answer any questions if they videochatted(which I admit I didn't like doing, but with all circumstances I don't want him using them to answer questions making it seem like he knows more than he truly does) I told my older child what grade he thought they were in and they pointed out, "I was in ---grade when he left....." But we kinda laughed about how stupid/silly/dorkish it was and I am NOT trying to make him look bad. I shield our kids from a lot because I don't want their opinions of anyone swayed any way due to something someone else says. Same goes for their dad. Regardless of how I feel about him and the way he's done I don't want them holding things against him and distancing themselves due to things that don't need to divulged to them to begin with.
I'm sorry this was a lot, and it's probably all over the place and a mess.. I just need insight or opinions from someone that isn't involved or related to either of us so opinions won't be swayed. If any more info is needed in regards to myself or my husband feel free to ask.
I will also be moving forward with my schooling possibly this year or next depending. I wanted both of our kids established and while I'm not sure I'm quite ready because my younger student still requires more help and needs improvement with reading for me to be fully comfortable I may be able to start online courses in the meantime if able to do so before doing in person things eventually. My husband was no help with the kids and when he sat in or did attempt he had ZERO patience and was awful. So I limited what I would ask him to help with and did all the "heavy lifting" myself. We are all doing much better mentally and our younger child is unlearning some behaviors and is a completely different kid. They are coming out of their shell and while they've always been loving now they are even more sweet and loving and involved with others. I have seen so much improvement. And their dad has not mentioned talking to them SINCE that friday which was May 3rd, so it has been 10 days at this point.
Thank you to anyone that has read this trainwreck. If you think I handled things wrong and have advice on how to better handle things as well please feel free to advise away. While I am hoping I won't get ripped to shreds, I appreciate blunt honesty and can handle constructive criticism. :)

I had been with my ex girlfriend for 2 years. The relationship was amazing, if there was a problem, we talked about it and we fixed it. Although it was a long distance relationship, it worked out well because both my and her parents were able to support us financially.
Now some intel about the breakup itself which might be helpful:
My girlfriend had been on vacation with her family and because of that, basically didn’t text me at all. Coming from a person that always puts maximum effort into the relationship and talking to the person regularly, i asked her to take some of her free time ( for example chilling at the pool for a few hours or watching videos with her friends ) and spend it calling me instead since i’d appreciate seeing her face at least once a day and talk about it everything that’s going on, especially because we both have stressful times going on.
After summarizing my feelings and thoughts into a message, i left her the message over night to read. The next day ( actually the day she was flying home ) she told me that we‘d talk about the problem once she’s home. I obviously waited for her but when we talked at night, she told me that she’s too tired and would prefer to talk about it tomorrow. Since i obviously don’t want to have her arguing tired, i agreed with her, but the next day, same thing. Since i felt deeply disrespected and my feelings disregarded, i, again, sent her a message, this time more upset ( i did use some mean expressions i would not normally use, but again it deeply upset me and also hurt me )
She read it and said that she’s again too tired to handle it, and that she will talk to me about everything the next day.
Now, this is where it gets „weird“ and where i don’t know how to act about it.
The next day, after the whole day no being available again, she sent me a long text.
I will not copy and paste the whole text obviously, but her main point of criticism was that i don’t trust her and that she can’t be in a relationship with someone that doesn’t trust her. I was obviously shocked by firstly the breakup message itself, but also confused by the contents, since the argument wasn’t about trust at all. At this point i need to specify, that we did have problems with me not trusting her in the past, but a lot of the times it was disagreements on subjects like „how often should i text you“ , „should i go on a 2 week vacation with friends that you don’t like and go clubbing“ in which the definition of „trust“ is extremely hard to make out which is why i never saw it as part of the trust problem, but more of individual problems.
Nevertheless, i need to admit that i’ve been more mistrusting and insecure due to my enourmous amount of stress because of the finals in school, my future etc. Still, in the breakup message, she specified on that point exactly, which, at that point, hadn’t been a problem in our relationship for quite a while.
Now about my actual question. When i called her that night to talk about everything, i convinced her to think about it for at least two days so she can be a 100% sure. This has now turned into 5 days of less and less contact going from calling each other and talking about eurovision to going to bed and only texting 2 times a day REALLY shortly.
I have told her multiple times that there are a LOT of things that have been misunderstood as you could clearly tell by her message that we need to talk about, and i don’t understand why the contact is getting less and less while she told me that she loves me and misses me just two days ago. Talking about the problems and the fuck ups on both sides could potentially save the relationship, whxih is why i’m seeking help here on reddit to find out how i can get her to have that final conversation ( or hopefully not final ) with me.
Thanks to everyone in advance, i highly appreciate it.

I enjoy valuing complex properties and I'm good at it. When I started as a trainee, we would call the client after inspection and say, "This one is complex because of X, so we need an extra $100." Never a problem.
Today this practice doesn't fly, which makes sense since everything is online now and you can lookup properties before you go see them. But this has created a system that results in lower fees for complex properties.
Multiple times I've requested a $100 increase only to be told "No. We don't do that. Either accept the assignment or not." Whenever I do fish out a reasonable fee for a complex assignment, it is taken by a low-baller who does a shitty job.
Generally, I will not get assignments if I quote above $500. Just a few weeks ago I bid for a 2-acre 3,000 sf ranch with multiple outbuildings in an irregular suburban area. Servicelink says, "Can you do $475. We are making no profit on that." !!!!!!!!
But then I'll get assignments like today where I quote $450 for a typical $2 million mansion in a nice area, and the person calls me back to confirm that my quote is actually correct because it seems way too low. ??? These situations make me feel like I should be quoting way more all the time. But it doesn't work!!!!!!!
I only have a few clients that do auto-assign and I generally don't have a problem doing complex assignments for them at the standard fee. I could and probably should be asking for more money. But I just don't know how.
The lenders are all streamlining systems and making it so that nobody in the process knows the subject is an irregular property until I say so. By that time, everything is already set and nobody wants to change anything.
Location is Chicagoland. Our appraisal market is really crappy. Too many appraisers.
I know I'm just rambling but it's hard to put this together. Thanks for reading. Have a good day.