2024.05.14 06:24 estarflowerA Court of Thorns and Roses vs. Kushiels Dart
I just started the ACOTAR series. I’m only on chapter 13 - but already it seems to fall a bit flat when compared to the Kushiels Legacy Series. Also… does anyone else notice all the references from Kushiels Dart? Hyacinth… the night court - the similar female character names… or is it just me? The depth of the main character seems like she lacks true depth - and the world building is not placing me into the environment as well as the Kushiels series did. I heard so many great reviews from people swearing ACOTAR is the best series ever… and maybe I’m just biased to the Kushiels Series… I’ll finish the book and report if my opinion changes :)
2024.05.14 06:21 No_Argument2217Girlfriend of 4 years that I was planning proposing to flushed away her future with me by sleeping with a bunch of guys and "partying" away her savings. SUPER LONG
I currently (40M) had my ex (35F) completely destroy our relationship while I was working out of town for a few months. This happened a year ago and wish I had these stories as a resource while going through it. I have just started to use Reddit and been reading the experiences of others here and have decided to share my story in hopes it will maybe help others. That way some good may come from some of the worst times of my life. A little backstory for context for the story and insight to some of the decisions I made. When I turned 30 I left the major city in my Province (it is like a state if you are an American) because buying just a simple house is over a million dollars and I don't make near enough to afford that. My goal was to move to somewhere more rural to buy a house, meet someone, get married and have a child or two. It was my only dream I had and believed I could attain it. I lived out in the bush on my step dads property in a run down trailer I bought so I could save money for the first 3 years. I had my dog but the loneliness of living in the middle of nowhere had got to me. By then I had saved a fair amount of money, so I decided to move into the town. It was nice, it cut my commute down by 40 minutes, I had started to make a few friends and no longer felt so isolated. It was through my friends I met my future ex. Let's call her Kali. She had a long term boyfriend when we first met. Their relationship ended a couple of years after meeting her and we started dating a few months after. We mostly had a great relationship for the next 4 years. The only thing was it was on again off again. She would dump me after I did anything really special for her for a week and beg me to take her back. It was like clockwork. I used to think it was because of her depression and that she didn't believe she deserved to be truly happy. Nowadays I actually think she might have been cheating the whole time and just felt guilty about it when I did nice stuff for her but I will never know the truth. I don't care what the reality is anymore anyway, Time has a funny way of making stuff like that irrelevant. We did have one bigger break of about 5 months. When it happened I took time off work to travel in my RV the whole time. From spring to summer. I really didn't like the town I lived in and decided to use that time to check out the rest of my Provence to figure out where I wanted to restart my life. She was basically the only reason I stayed for so long. I did have a decent job and family close by but most people I met there were not good people. Lots of drug users, liars, and general scumbags. I had only a few real friends there. After I got back and had decided where I was going to move to she had decided she wanted me back. She begged me to stay and be with her. She told me that she wanted to get serious. We started making real progress about getting married, having kids and looking at buying a house. Everything was coming up Milhouse and I couldn't be happier. So You can probably guess this is when my tale becomes interesting for you and life got real bad for me. My career is seasonal. I work from spring to the end of fall and can go on unemployment insurance or find work. My dad had asked if I could help on his farm breeding horses that winter when I had still planned to leave my town. I had promised him that I would because it would give me a place to stay before people in my field of work would be looking for employees. This had been agreed upon before me and Kali had got back together. Now I have always been a man of my word. It's something I take great pride in. I have always hated liars. I don't mind a little embellishment to make a story more fun or if two people's stories are different as long as they both believe that was how the events happened. Everyone remembers things slightly off. She was upset that I had intended to keep my word to my dad but I had every second weekend off. The town my dad is in was only a 2 hour drive. So I told her I would be back twice monthly for weekends and that it would only be for 4 months. For the first two months everything seemed fine. During this time I started to look at rings to pop the question and booked an expensive spa for two days in May to propose. There was only one weird thing that happened during the first two months. On one of my visits she confided in me that her brother's wife had cheated on him and that their newborn baby was most likely not his. I was shocked that she not only knew but didn't plan to tell him. She said she didn't want to tell him for fear of breaking up the family. I told her that he has the right to know and that she was being a bad sister by knowing and not telling him. I also informed her if he found out she knew and didn't say anything that he would most likely kick her out of his life. She made me swear I wouldn't tell him. Even though I thought it was wrong I did agree to not say anything. It did get me wondering how she could not only not tell him but stay friends with someone that could do that to her brother. I think that's when I started to question her morals. The third month she asked that I didn't come out because she was "sick". I told her I didn't care, I could still come out and take care of her. She convinced me that she didn't want me to come so I just worked on the farm instead. I switched weekends so I could come out the next instead of in two weekends. The weekend she was "sick" her phone was off the whole time, lasting into the week. She told me her phone went through the washing machine. She was actually on a bender but I didn't learn that till later. So I head out the following weekend. As soon as I arrive I start getting super sketchy vibes. I was already weirded out about the stuff with her brother and ghosting me for 4 days as we talked/texted multiple times a day normally. At first she acts great to me, cooks me steak and we go out to the bush to have a fire in the snow. At the fire she really started drinking heavily. She then mentions a guy she had been hanging with lets call him Brad. So alarm bells start going through my head. We go back to her house and she keeps drinking. I wanted to keep a clear head so I only had three beers all evening. She put her phone down unlocked because of how drunk she was and I took it to the bathroom with me to look up texts between them. I felt so guilty for doing it at first but once I see the text between the two of them the guilt is replaced with rage. I go to her room to confront her and she breaks down. First, how dare I go through her phone, this never would have happened if I would have broken my promise to my dad, nothing really happened between them, blah, blah, blah. I was furious and drove off. She blows up my phone the whole time. I don't answer. Ten minutes after I left her mother called me. She lives at her moms house. I took the call and her mom said she is freaking out and has harmed herself. I decide to go back and she has a bandage wrapped around her arm. Her mom hid all the sharp objects she could find. She was having a full on panic attack and begs me to not leave. I told her I would stay if she told me the truth. She admits to hooking up with him one time just that last weekend when she asked me not to come out. It kind of matches the messages and I believe her. I stay there till she falls asleep. Once she does I send Brad a text saying that she has a boyfriend with some screen shots of our conversations me and her have had that week. I was about to drive back to the farm when the dude called her phone. I pick up the call and tell him I am her boyfriend. He asks if that was a joke and I assure him it is not. He said he didn't know and actually apologized. I tell him that I'm pissed but if he didn't know I couldn't blame him. I should have asked him more questions but I was tired, not thinking straight and just wanted to go back to the Farm even though it was two am by this point. I get home and crash. Turned my ringer off because I know once she wakes up she will start calling like crazy. After getting the horses in for the night I decided to look at my phone for the first time all day. Around thirty missed calls and a ton of texts. I decide I need another day before I talk to her. Now while the whole day all I can think about is that it was just one time, she seems to be genuinely remorseful about it, how I'm 39 and really want children before I get too old. I took a call from her the next day on Sunday in the morning. She is still wasted. She hadn't stopped drinking since I was there Friday. We talk and I tell her that I am really upset but am willing to give us another chance. I still was in love with her and wanted to have kids, get married and buy a house with her. It was the dream I felt I worked so hard for. She was so happy I took her back and swore to me nothing like this would ever happen again. Basically I was a fool lol. So I decided on my next set of days off to borrow my stepdads summer home on the river so we can have the place to ourselves. I grab food that she loves so I can cook her dinner and try to make it very romantic. I want to rekindle my love with her so I wanted to go all out on an amazing weekend. I pick her up and she is already a little drunk. I kind of wanted to hang sober but I don't wanna mess up with her so don't say anything thinking we can do a sober day when I take her out to go shopping and dinner the next day. When we get there she gets hammered. Kali had brought a big of bottle fireball on top of a bunch of white claws. I again didn't really drink that night. Once she was drunk and tired I carried her to the bed. As Kali is in my arms she looks up at me and says in slurred words "I don't know why you even felt threatened by Joe" I ask "what did you just say?". "I don't know why you even felt threatened by Brad" she replied. I put her to bed and my mind starts racing. Now her ex before me has a really close name to the one she said first but I also know she has a friend named Joe I only met a couple of times. They were not close or even hung out but were more like acquaintances. I go in her purse to look at her phone again but the battery is dead and I can't find her charger. I have an Iphone so I can't charge it up to look. I didn't sleep that well that night with everything going on in my head. I woke up at 6 am to her being very loud on the phone. I went out to the living room and she had drank all the booze left over from the night before. I ask her who she was on the phone with and she tells me an uber to leave. I ask why is she going to leave? Kali tells me she is upset that I tried to get into her phone. Guess I didn't put it back in her purse. Must have been out of sorts and forgot. I tell her I can drive her once I go to the washroom and get some clothes on. I go to do that, come out of the washroom to see Kali has already left. She was so drunk that she had left half her stuff behind. I decided to have breakfast before bringing her stuff to her house. After breakfast I packed her stuff into my SUV and noticed it had snowed that night. I could see her footprints out into the driveway. While Dropping off her stuff I noticed there were no footprints leading to her house, so I tried calling Kali. No answer. I left her stuff in the snow and decided to drive by her brothers and sisters house to see if there were footprints going into any of their houses but there were none. I sent her a nasty text about knowing she didn't go home, to go be with Brad or Joe or whoever and never call me again. It was a lot more profane than that but that's the gist of it. Cleaned up the house my stepdad lent me and back off to the farm yet again. The next day she blows up my phone and again I wait another day to talk to her. She tells me that she went home but I know that can't be true from the snow, but she says I must have been mistaken. She apologizes for getting drunk and leavening and that she is going to stop drinking after her birthday in two weeks. She has rented a hotel in the town I'm in for her birthday and wants to spend it with me. I agree just because I have to know the truth and want to look at her phone to make sure I am not crazy. She had gaslit me to the point I was questioning what I saw with my own eyes. A couple of days later I decided to send Joe a message on Facebook to see if he would give me the truth. I get a text from her telling me not to bug her friend and that she is embarrassed. I apologize and tell her I am excited about her birthday soon. The weekend of her birthday comes so I go to meet her at the hotel. She brought her sister and other friend along. It actually is a really fun time. The girls did coke the first night into the second evening. I don't really like it but I figured she can let loose especially if she is going to stop drinking after her birthday. I also knew by Saturday night that they would all crash hard so it would give me time to look at her phone so I could know the truth. As I mentioned the weekend was really fun so I felt bad about going into her phone yet again. I did it anyway and my whole world came crashing down. Now I figured that I would maybe see Brad or Joe texts and Facebook messages. Seemed like Brad was done but Joe and her were totally hooking up. I also found out that she had slept with 3 other guys. I also saw she was using coke all the time now. She did it maybe three times a year when we dated but now it was every weekend. It looked like she started using regularly right before I left for the farm. Joe helped get it for her too, out of all the guys he was the one she hung with the most. Turns out he was also a meth head who was trying to quit for her. She also went to his house the morning she left the other weekend to hook up and buy coke. I was floored. I just staired and took screen shots till the early morning. I decided I wasn't just going to dump her but I wanted to ruin her life not realizing she was already doing that all by herself but hindsight is 20 20. So I started coming up with a plan of what I was going to do. I woke up the next morning and acted like everything was fine and went back to the farm. I was still so upset and didn't want to harm myself or others so had a family friend take my firearms for a while. I don't think I would have used them on myself or others but I knew I wasn't thinking clearly and didn't want them in my house while I was like that. I didn't have to see her till I moved back because the next set I had off I had tickets for a concert in the city I used to live in. During that time all I thought about was how I was going to do something to ruin her life. I came up with some small things but my main plan was to pretend like we were fine and ghost her when my contract was up with my boss next winter. I had promised him another year after kali and I had gotten back together. Just typing it out makes me look back and cringe that I was so crazy. When I went to the city for the concert I told my best friend, my brother and a few others my plan. No one liked it and thought I should just go no contact, cut her straight out of my life. That probably was the smart thing to do but emotion was clouding my judgement. Also you all would get this story. They even informed me that because I would be lying to her, that I would be compromising my morals and turning into a worse person they didn't recognize. I either didn't see it that way or care. I have a hard time recalling what my brain was thinking during that time. All seems like a haze now that it's been a year. I think I was really upset that my dream and all I had worked for was ruined. A friend later said I may have been in love with the dream and not her. Maybe that's the reason I kept up all this insanity. My time on the farm had come to an end and I was moving back to the town me and my ex lived in. I was set with my plan, excited to implement it and have what I considered just. But you know what they say of the best laid plans. My ex wanted to go to hang at her brothers as a welcome home party. I went but ended up drinking. Heavily drinking, to the point of black out. I don't remember much from that night but have had it recounted for me. I woke up in the drunk tank. Guess I couldn't lie and play it cool then huh? The story I was told later is, while at her brothers I had gotten drunk and loud. Kept waking up the new baby and we were asked to leave. So we caught a cab and I confronted her in the cab but all I could do was call her a lying, cheating, whore on repeat. She got upset and ran into the house locking me out. I had a bunch of my stuff in her house so I went to the door and demanded she let me in. All the while still only referring to her as the aforementioned 3 words. She told me to leave but my jacket and wallet were inside. It was below freezing at night still and probably wouldn't have made it home in the state I was in. I then kicked in her door to keep calling her LCW and grab my stuff. She was on the phone to the police, so I was taken away by them. One of the lowest points in my life. It still brings me so much shame to this day but it is what happened and I am not going to sugar coat it. I never laid a finger on her and I am so happy that I hadn't. Laying hands on women in that way is one of the scummiest things a man can do. I had to go back to her house once they let me out because my stuff was still there. I apologized to her mom who had been at her boyfriends that evening promising to repair the door for her. Kali begged me to talk to her and like an idiot I didn't just leave. I told her I saw everything and she only admitted to Brad and Joe. Lying about them and the others the whole time. Even when I brought up the screen shots she still couldn't come clean. I left just shaking my head. There is still a ton to this story but this is long enough. I could do a part 2 if there is interest. Catching you folks up to where I am now and the messed up things that happened in between.
2024.05.14 06:20 iambobokaVM LUXURY FILM SOFT OPENING PROMO!
🎉 Davao City, get ready! 🎉 Join us for the soft opening of VM Luxury Film on May 18, 2024, at Diversion Road Highway, Buhangin-Cabantian, in front of City Hardware. Enjoy a 40% discount on our SUPER HD High-End Nano Ceramic Film with 99% heat resistance, 99% IRR, and 99.5% UVR, plus a 5-year warranty. Show this coupon to our staff to avail the promo. Confirm your booking by replying with your complete name, address, contact number, and email address. First come, first served! 🚗✨ #VMLuxuryFilm #GrandOpening #DavaoCity #CarCare #LuxuryTinting Check our location at googlemap in this link > https://maps.app.goo.gl/g4ejRky1H7hwf7V56
2024.05.14 06:19 TotallyNotAjayQuick Kodokan Goshin Jutsu Clinic Write up
This weekend, Ajax Budokan invited Kodokan 9th dan and former head of the Tokyo Police dojo, Michio Fukushima Sensei, to conduct a 4 hour clinic for Kodokan Goshin Jutsu. It was open to yellow belt and higher, though the majority consisted of Yudansha. My senseis had the honour of demoing the kata, as Fukushima Sensei's health did not permit presenting each technique multiple times, though he did show some of the finer details, demo mechanics, and gave comments as to what was good and displayed what could be fixed. He also talked about older versions of the techniques and how/ why they have been changed. Regretfully, it totally slipped my mind to film during the seminar, as there was a lot of good information, translated (and left untranslated) by the interpreter. Some General Notes on Fukushima Sensei Fukushima Sensei on multiple occasions mentioned how one should carry themselves and move, more specifically he talked about how he usually sees toris get away with bad shisei as uke's attacks are generally to kind or passive, and that if they genuinely attacked, most toris would be off balance. Additionally he mentioned that a lot of IFJ competition now is power judo, where the technical aspects are replaced for brute force and speed. The main note he makes is to keep the knees alive (slightly bent and bouncy like a spring), and that most novices have a tendency to straight leg their kata. He also made it a great point to explain the logic of the waza in the kata and how the kuzushi is created. Other important details he talked about were that uke shouldn't be a limp noodle once his attack is over, that tori should keep good sabaki (unclear if sabaki was short hand for tai sabaki as he also stated tai sabaki on different occasions (the details were paraphrased by the translator)), and the usage of rotation from the hips to maintain proper balance (tai sabaki). Additionally, he talked about things relating to karada (the body) and some anecdotes (such as stories about judoka such as Michigami, Isao Okano, and Nagaoka if I was hearing correctly, though I don't speak Japanese, only somewhat familiar with it), which were left untranslated or paraphrased sadly. Emphasised details in the kata (not explanations or descriptions of how to do a technique) and my experiences (FYI Sensei mostly used the Tomiki names for the waza Tori applied) Attacks when held
Ryote dori - my partner and I (both new to this kata for the most part) went in on this one and struggled as we didn't see the detail of thumb in hand for the lock (blind leading the blind, though we later worked near a kind pair after this who helped check more closely as they were experienced in the kata)
Yahazu (hook shape for hand) is very important to direct uke's arm
You aren't pulling the arm away to free it, you are pushing your elbow forward which pressures uke's arm
Te gatana to the uto (point between uke's eyes)
When applying the lock (te gatame), make sure to rotate uke's hand such that the fingers are pointing up
When applying the lock, take the uke's arm in the direction perpendicular to the line made by his feet
Hidari eri dori - I particularly liked this one, though my uke was confused the first few times as he kept trying to apply waki gatame.
Tori must grab underneath uke's hand on the lapel when stepping back
When grabbing uke's hand to break the grip and apply the lock (kote hineri), tori should have his thumb in between uke's thumb and fingers, and to take the uke's arm in the direction perpendicular to the line made by his feet
Uke should try to maintain jigo tai rather than lean so the lock is applied cleanly
Tori's hand should not be limp when delivering the strike
Migi eri dori - I couldn't get kote gaeshi to work properly, will have to practice and ask my sensei about it later, same with my partner
Tori should maintain a upright posture as uke pulls him forward, and use the landing of his foot to drive his hand for the uppercut to uke
Tori should try to keep uke's hand attached to his centerline as he makes tai sabaki
Kata ude dori - My uke was very stiff, so applying the initial lock to him proved difficult, though he claims he felt it. I found this kata easy to remember as the legs go left right left right (step, step, tai sabaki, kick, then lead with the right for the lock)
You are kicking with the side of the foot
The step before the kick pivot around so your feet are almost parallel
For waki gatame, you should be standing inside his feet, near parallel to the line perpendicular to his feet
Ushiro eri dori - I had experience with this one as sensei had taught during some free time a while back
The parry with the arm was stated to also be the preferred way to receive punches, though take that as you will (though it is a common method in karate as well)
The strike should be to the suigetsu (solar plexus)
Trap uke's hand with your head so that it can't wiggle all over the place when applying the lock
Ushiro jime - My partner and I both had a tendency to lift the shoulder off after spinning out, will have to work on that. I will be honest, had I known this escape, I probably would have come out of an incident a few years back (before I started Judo) rather unscathed as I was jumped and then kicked on the ground by a person who was quite a pain.
The attack and initial defence are identical to that of katame no kata, following which tori rotates out
Keep pressure with your shoulder until your grip has been changed
Kakae dori - We didn't have enough mat space to finish the throw without running into other groups, but the technique is surprisingly effective. Though I couldn't initially find out how to do the armlock and had to ask my sensei about it, now it's pretty easy.
Rotate the arm away from you (clockwise from your perspective) and pull uke's arm into you
During the initial stomp, straighten up and raise your arms to loosen uke's grip
Attacks when at a distance - I got less time to try these in general as I wanted my partner to get a feel for them as they are a bit more complicated and he is less experienced
Naname uchi - this was a fun situation, it shows how a little bit of atemi can be used to setup a randori waza, and Fukushima Sensei complimented my senseis' performance saying that it was better than the current text book
Te gatana is used to redirect the strike
Osoto otoshi is performed
Pushing the arm through is important to create the kuzushi necessary for the waza
Ago tsuki - I didn't actually get a chance to try this one more than once as my partner struggled with it, he kept applying a shoulder lock by pushing on the elbow without the redirect with the thumb up (shoulder is still sore)
when directing uke's attack up and away, do not lean back as then you are unstable
Use yahazu to direct uke's elbow toward his ear
As uke will not like this use the moment after releasing the elbow lock to throw him forward in the direction perpendicular to his feet.
Gammen Tsuki - My partner really liked this one, I can see the uses as I've used similar entries when messing around with strikes + judo with this partner as I have a bit of karate experience
Uke is meant to do a break fall, thus tori needs to get out of the way after releasing the choke
Uke should realistically be aiming for where tori's uto would be if he did not evade
Mae Geri - this was a relatively easy one to grasp, but quite a bit of practice is needed before a full force kick can be considered
Rotate ukes foot outwards so that it is not easy for him to rotate in to escape
In the original, tori would lift uke's leg high but many ukes ended up injured from hitting their heads, so now tori just pushes back
Yoko geri - My sensei has introduced this one at the dojo before as well, though he prefaced it with about a minute of just practicing a side kick. My partner (who suffers from light knee pain) couldn't kneel during the finish
The use of the te gatana to redirect the kick in the direction it is going, very similar to karates low block
During the finish tori creates a void for uke to be thrown but in real life tori would throw uke onto his knee
Attacks with weapons - I understand people dislike these (reasonably in some cases), but I've found them to be useful points to explore Attacks with a knife - Sensei Fukushima mentioned how despite my senseis making it look easy Both my partner and I have practiced these quite a lot (I was the only one who was taught it by sensei but we practiced it on our own time), so not as many personal notes. Though I don't have a good experience so my brain switches to serious and my heart rate increases despite the fact that I know these are fake weapons.
Tsukkake
The elbow should be pushed forward (I've actually experimented with this in the past by asking uke to try to stab me as I applied the defence, and we've found after the initial push and strike, tori is in a relatively good position, be it to run away or finish the kata)
Push the locked up arm up and towards uke, then guide him to the ground
Choku zuki - I struggled to apply the waki gatame, I'm guessing it was control of the wrist that was the problem, this form is relatively straight forward and makes sense
The strike should not be a boxer style punch, but more like the first punch in szkt
uke should not go limp
when moving away from uke, take him perpendicular to the line between his feet
Naname Zuki - Personally I think this form is cutting it close in many regards, but the control tori has is quite surprising
Don't grab the blade from the sharp edge
Attacks with a jo - PSA, no matter how much you trust your uke, mistakes happen (especially with such a solid weapon) so remain vigilant to mitigate damage
Furi age - this was a relatively easy technique to grasp as it is an application of O soto gari setup with a palm strike to the chind
Tori should enter as soon as uke begins to raise his arm, almost a preemptive entry
Tori strikes at the ago (chin) with a palm strike, then places his hand on the throat for the throw
Furi oroshi - My partner leant into the swing and wacked me on the forehead, it could've been worse but it just grazed the outer layer as I saw the jo come closer after my initial retreat and attempted to turn out of the way. Both a PSA for tori and uke. Tori do not keep your eyes off uke, and uke please don't lean into a swing, you are horribly off balance, and you make it harder for tori to read. Also uke don't speed up when you 2 are learning (I don't know why my partner chose too...)
Do not hop back onto one leg and then towards uke with the other, it leads you to have bad posture
Better to make a big retreat than get hit
2 strike, one ura ken (back fist), followed by knife hand push
Uke's swing should be at a diagonal
Morote zuki - I didn't get to practice this one as my partner was taken a bit aback after the previous incident and couldn't get the steps right for this one. Fukushima Sensei mentioned something along the lines of how a judoka was faced with a juken and couldn't figure out what to do, and thus this form was created to address that.
Tori shouldn't be rowing the jow away to shake throw uke
The arm puts pressure on uke's arm forward
Tori should be trying to angle the jo down towards himself after the initial grab
Attacks with a gun - I struggled with all of these, but I think the principles are relatively sound. Though in real life, I'd most likely give up my valuables. Fukushima Sensei emphasised hip rotation in these movements, as he says that you want to direct the gun away without moving your feet, which is what uke would be seeing when looking at your pocket. Always make sure to begin your defence after uke is clearly focused on checking your pockets, never when his focus is directly on you
Shomen Zuke
Grab the barrel of the gun thumb up
During the disarm, push the gun's muzzle to face towards him
Koshi Gamae - I kept getting the second hand wrong and thus the barallel was pointed towards me in the final attack, will need to work on that
Grab the barrel of gun initially with the thumb down with your right hand, and push the gun so that it is horizontal after turning left, then grab the gun from below with your right
make sure to not point the gun at yourself when hitting with the butt
Haimen Zuke - this is quite a dangerous move in theory, but also one of the more likely ones
Wrap uke's arm with your arm, but make sure to direct the muzzle up with the free arm
[uke] should let go of gun, as this is a hard breakfall
Overarching and repeated themes in the kata
The use of yahazu to direct the arm rather than grips
Keeping uke's hand connected to your centerline when applying kansetsu waza
te gatana is a useful tool to redirect and or strike the opponent quickly
During the gun portion, always rotate the gun off your centerline, so that even if it does fire, it doesn't penetrate too deep
Control the gun by the muzzle
most finishes are done by guiding uke perpendicular to the line in between his feet
Do not directly oppose an opponents force
Maintanence of balance at all times and moving from the hips is key
Uke should attack meaningfully
Action reaction is used quite a lot to first lock uke up towards his face, so that when he pushes back he is easily lead away
Overall, it was quite a good event, and I learned a lot. This kata isn't the most realistic with the attacks (though apparently a few people I know have used the ryote dori attack shockingly), but what I've learned so far is relatively sound, hopefully some time soon I can convince my partner to do some live resistance sparring with some gear on (which I have done with the knife portion with a plastic knife). Fukushima Sensei had a lot to say, as he was actively discussing his experiences and koshiki no kata after the seminar with another Japanese speaker, and I hope to be able to attend another one of his classes again someday. Here are some videos featuring Michio Fukushima from a few years back, both where he was actively demoing, and where he had a slightly more corrective position. https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=1253474818155243 https://youtu.be/VKgdMJS9eck?si=bGMemLfG9aquAHr1
2024.05.14 06:19 lildoggieguyFinance vs. Management
Hello! After a couple years of toying with the idea I'm feeling ready to commit to trying out HES. My intention is to go for a Masters but I'm torn between the Finance and Management tracks. Background: I'm a Senior Product manager at a household name, highly successful large tech company. I'm on a great team, great product area, and am in the kind of org that has people with 10-20 years tenure, and I'd love to continue moving up into leadership roles. I only hold a BA (English) and got incredibly lucky breaking into a Jr PM role at a startup a couple years out of college. I now have about 8 years experience and a great network. Goals: My overall goal is to eventually lead product teams, and I've started to find my sweet spot is in the "startup within a large org" kind of situation, where I'm working on brand new, experimental products trying to find product market fit within a legacy platform. I don't have any management experience yet (though have done some formal mentoring). I also don't have any "quant"/"hard" education background, and I'm starting to find that I might benefit from a greater literacy in some combination of strategic business, monetization, and analytics. Why Finance: Maybe this is a wrong perception, but intuitively I feel like a degree that explicitly focuses in Finance may give me that "quant" edge I'd love to have on my resume. Finance (corporate, investing, even personal) is very interesting to me so I find myself gravitating toward those courses and I have the least background here so feel I stand to learn the most. As I focus on more strategic convos about assessing new product monetization, extracting value, investing in new areas of business, evaluating acquisitions, etc, this is where I feel I lack the most literacy. Why Management: Seems the overall most customizable/flexible. Perhaps it might be useful to roundout my finance interests with straight up org behavior and leadership type classes to augment manageteam building skills (I think I have natural high EQ and team skills but the formal background could be nice). I think it would more realistic to split the focus this way under the Management masters than the Finance one. I think my strategy might be to start with an admissions course that applies to either track (perhaps managerial economics) to see if that sways me further. But any thoughts or advice would be appreciated!
2024.05.14 06:15 huntersmooncoI made a Fae cottage out of an old globe
I named this project the Atlas Cottage, and started it in November while I was laid up after having a hysterectomy. Popsicle sticks, hobby wood, scraps of paper, discarded beads, bits of gold wire, and old blocks from a miniature Jenga set are among some of the materials I used to create the furniture and decor in this piece. The bricks of the fireplace are hand carved with a metal nail file into hobby wood. The miniature quartz globe spins on its axis and is made from a large crystal bead and gold wire. The mantle is a block from an old mini jenga set. Scrolls, books, and maps were made from bits of cardboard and old shipping label scraps. The crystal ball collection are all beads and spacers. Please ignore the superglue all over my hands. I’ve gotten good at being careful with tiny things but the hand tremors are still a challenge I should add that the globe is lit by fairy lights twisted inside miniature handmade (hot glue) glowing mushrooms and the AA battery packs are harnessed under the upper levels so they can be pulled out and changed as needed. A tiny stag with golden antlers marks the area.
2024.05.14 06:15 theconstellinguistBorders, Power Shifts, and Gender: Power Shifts at Border Checkpoints Seem to be Processed on Women's Bodies in Ukraine and Russia: Patterns of Gender-Based Violence in Conflict-Affected Ukraine: A Descriptive Analysis of Internally Displaced and Local Women Receiving Psychosocial Services
Patterns of Gender-Based Violence in Conflict-Affected Ukraine: A Descriptive Analysis of Internally Displaced and Local Women Receiving Psychosocial Services
Arbitrary Displacement Is a Structural Rot that Hegemonizes Economic Abuse and with it Economic Collapse Checkpoints for the displaced showed the most violence, literally predating on women when they were the most vulnerable by armed men. Almost 8% of violent incidents against displaced women occurred at checkpoints or at reception centers for internally displaced persons (IDP) and 20% were perpetrated by armed men. Majority of Ukrainian female respondents described their household economic situation as bad or very bad (59%) A survey of internally displaced persons (IDPs) in Ukraine found that a majority of respondents described their household economic situation as bad or very bad (59%), and only 22% held regular employment (Roberts et al., 2017). Women fleeing violence are most likely to be exposed to sexually violent men exactly at the moments they were most expecting protection. This suggests a pattern of men who watch for the female victims of their enemies, and then violate them when they come to them, simply out of nationalist/ethnicist hate crime, with no care about their status as a victim. Meta-analytic findings estimate a 21% prevalence of sexual violence among female refugees and IDPs (Vu et al., 2014). A 2014 national survey conducted shortly after the start of the conflict found that 19% of 15–49 year old women had experienced violence since the age of 15 compared to 17% in 2007 (Martsenyuk et al., 2014). Displaced women were more likely to experience sexual violence Furthermore, we hypothesized that among GBV survivors: 1) proportionally more violent acts against displaced women would be non-domestic and associated with combat operations (i.e., demobilized and active governmental and non-governmental soldiers); 2) displaced women would be more likely to experience sexual violence than local women; and 3) patterns of reporting and referrals would differ depending on a woman’s residency status. UN Women’s Framework for emergency response and preparedness (UN Women, 2013) was used The adaptation process followed the recommendations of the GBV-IMS Rollout Guidelines (UNFPA, n.d.) and the UN Women’s Framework for emergency response and preparedness (UN Women, 2013), and entailed piloting the tool with several mobile teams and incorporating the feedback from the field. Definition of internally displaced person Ukrainian law defines an internally displaced person as “a citizen of Ukraine, a foreigner or a stateless person who is in the territory of Ukraine legally and has the right to reside permanently in Ukraine, and who was forced to leave his place of residence due to armed conflict, temporary occupation, widespread violence, human rights violations or emergencies of natural or man-made nature” (On Ensuring the Rights and Freedoms of Internally Displaced Persons, 2014). Forced marriage with economic abuse followed with rape and sexual assault Determination of GBV type was made by mobile team members using the GBV-IMS classification tool (UNFPA et al., 2011). The form instructs providers to select only one GBV type per case based on a series of questions asked in a specific order, as follows: 1) rape (if any type of penetration occurred); 2) sexual assault (if there was unwanted sexual contact); 3) physical assault (if there was physical battery); 4) forced marriage; 5) economic violence (in cases of denial of resources, opportunities, or services); 6) psychological or emotional abuse (if the incident involved insults, name-calling, and humiliation); and 7) no GBV (if none of the above). If, for example, a woman reported experiencing unwanted sexual contact, the provider would classify the case as “sexual assault” and continue to the following section. One in five women who experienced violence were unemployed, showing these violent perpetrators may keep their victims from employment or sabotage their employment purposefully to put them in harm’s way. More than one in five (21.6%) women who experienced violence were unemployed, with no differences between the groups. Overall, slightly less than one-third (30.7%) of the women engaged in unpaid labor such as elder and childcare, with significantly higher proportions among local women. Proportionally more displaced women had a professional occupation (24.6% vs. 20.0%, p<0.001). 78.3% of women reported that a man raped them. Half of the women reported psychological abuse in addition, showing many rapists are psychologically abusive before and after as a tell-tale sign. More than three-quarters (78.3%) of women reported that a man was the perpetrator. In nearly half of the cases, the perpetrator was an intimate partner (49.5%); and in roughly one in five (21.8%) a family member. Psychological abuse (48.4%) was reported by almost half of the women (See Table 2). Compared to local women, proportionally more displaced women reported an incident of rape or sexual abuse (3.1% vs. 2.1%, p<0.001) or economic abuse (23.4% vs. 14.4%, p<0.001). Gender based violence affects one million women annually in Ukraine GBV is a grave human rights violation that affects an estimated one million women annually in Ukraine (Barrett et al., 2012). Social disruption and frail economic conditions in humanitarian settings further aggravate women’s vulnerability to violence, particularly for displaced women (Stark & Ager, 2011; Stark et al., 2017). This analysis supports our primary hypothesis that the experience of violence differs by survivors’ residency status. Specifically, we found differences in terms of relationship to the perpetrator, type of violence experienced and access to care between local and displaced women. Checkpoints, or borderlines, nebulous zones of power shifts were huge points of violence to Ukrainian women, showing power shifts are often signaled by violence, especially to the most vulnerable. Notably, 20.0% of displaced women in our sample experienced violence at the hands of armed men compared to 5.3% of local women. We also found that checkpoints between government-controlled and non-government–controlled areas and IDP reception centers posed a particular risk for displaced women in our study. 38% more displaced women reported experiencing sexual violence than local women, meaning people were actively preying on people who were displaced, not protecting them. This shows Ukrainian women are at huge risk of opportunistic rape by the very men pretending to be safe. Whereas sexual violence was the least common type of reported violence, 38% more displaced women reported experiencing sexual violence than local women. Ukrainian women come from a long history of corrupt police, so they did not report to the police because the police do not work for them and never have. That is not their fault; it is their country and area’s fault. Studies in conflict-affected Ukraine found that a majority of survivors were unwilling to report GBV incidents to the police, particularly among internally displaced women (UCSR, 2018). Because of this violence around the very people that were supposed to protect them, Ukrainian women are less likely to file a police report. Displaced women were even more unlikely. It is an intelligent decision to not have a faith that has been factually and with evidence violated repeatedly. we found that displaced women were less than half as likely than local women to have filed a police report. Younger women seek gender based violence services more than older women, showing Ukrainian women are often being targeted for their fertility and not receiving justice can help them remain to be seen as a fertility commodity instead of a human being, making European countries very wary of the nation seeing how their women are treated. Women's rights feature largely in European economic inclusion. For example, among GBV survivors in Ukraine, younger women seek services for GBV more often than older women (41% of those aged 15–29 vs. 26% those aged 40–49) (Martsenyuk et al., 2014). Therefore, this analysis is not representative of all women experiencing violence. Domestic violence within the ranks of the warring country increased during war for Ukrainian women, instead of coming together in solidarity and mutual support Studies in complex emergency settings have found stigma among GBV survivors, normalization of domestic violence during times of conflict, unwillingness to report men living in the home for fear of forced military recruitment, and reluctance to involve law enforcement as major reporting barriers, especially among displaced women survivors of violence (Ager et al., 2018; Stark & Ager, 2011). https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC9240103/
2024.05.14 06:13 nothingsavailabledamVendome Paris, Madeleine, or Hotel Du Louvre with GOH award
Edit to add -- Well, I thought being able to see points on the points calendar means they're open to book. Turned out, two of these three hotels are not possible to book using points on the dates I want. Only HDL has a standard room that's bookable using points (that looks TINY)... I have GOH and Club Access awards from being the globalist in 2023, which I haven't really had a change to use the benefits of. I've lost the tier, but I got these awards sittin on my account and they expire in 2025 Feb. I need to book a hotel to stay for four nights in Paris and London later this year. And for Paris, I had Madeleine and HDL in my mind with my firm's corporate code, until I got the extra 20% points promotion email from Hyatt this morning. Q1) Which hotel would be the best in my situation? of course I'd like Vendome, but it's feasible only with points, and right now I don't have all the points yet. Q2) Which hotel would be the best to book with GOH or Club Access award? Vendome, ofcourse...? Q3) What can I realistically expect when I book these hotel with GOH award? Q4) How do they check my work id when checking in? Our badge does not have the company name on, just my photo and name... lol Anyway, I'm trying to choose among
Madeleine
About $450 per night (cheapest room) or 120,000 2) HDL About $530 per night (cheapest room) or 130,000 3) Vendome My paycheck or 170,000! Right now I have 7k on my Hyatt account, I can buy 55,000+11,000 at $1,320. I also have 55,000 on my Bilt account that I can transfer to Hyatt at 1:1 ratio, (totaling to 128,000), and 20,000 more coming in a couple months. With this, for Vendome, I'll have to book 3 nights only for now, and add the extra night when I get more points before the trip -- if it's doable. I unfortunately don't have Chase Sapphire cards, and don't plan to. I can open Hyatt card as well, or get more Bilt points transferred later this year. Any opinions will be appreciated!
I went on a walk earlier today and was having a conversation that turned to the facets of success that the Zen tradition has over, well, everyone else. Here's me putting some organization to aspects of the conversation that we touched upon.
1000 Years of Recorded Conversation
This number is not an exageration or hyperbole, but a reasonable approximation of the longevity of the Zen conversation. The earliest records of Zen conversation aka. Dharma combat aka. koans aka public cases we have come from Dunhuang and involve an heir to Bodhidharma named "Yuan" which places them sometime around the middle of the 6th century. Here's an excerpt:
6th Century
Dharma Master Chih saw Dharma Master Yuan on the street of butchers. Dharma Master Chih asked, "Do you see the butchers slaughtering the sheep? Dharma master Yuan said, "My eyes are not blind. How could I not see them?" Dharma master Chih said, "Master Yuan, you are saying you see it!" Master Yuan said, "You are seeing it on top of seeing it!"
The thread of Zen conversation continues on in these records. Some of these texts come from the conversations that dedicated record-keepers transcribed or unnamed Preceptors copied down and were later compiled. These records of Zen conversation were themselves annotated and conversed with by Zen Masters in subsequent generations thereby producing monumental books of instruction and practical guidance like Wansong's Book of Serenity, Wumen's Gateless Checkpoint, or Linquan's Empty Valley Collection. Following the desolation and plunder wrought on by the Mongol invasion, the restrictive religious policies imposed by the Buddhists, and the subsequent rise of milleniarian cults with their own quasi-theocratic social agenda, the Zen conversation starts to fade in China. We have records in China extending to around 1400. The aptly named translation by Cleary entitled "Zen Under the Gun" is evidence of this. The following is an excerpt from a Zen Master that came from Korea to study under a Chinese Zen Master and would carry on the tradition of preaching the Zen dharma to Emperor's.
14th Century
In 1347, on the sixth day of the third month, the emperor of the Great Yuan invited T'aego to Fengen, serving the Imperial Benevolance Zen Temple. After salutations to his majesty, T'aego went up to the teaching hall, pointed to the main temple gate, and said: "The Great Path has no gate: where do all of you people intend to enter it? Bah! The universal gate of perfect penetration is wide open." At the buddha shrine T'aego said: "Two thousand years ago, I was you. Two thousand years later, you are me. It has almost leaked out." Then he bowed three times.
Almost.
1000 Years of Agro-Academe Egalitarian Communes
Agro-Academe
The Zen records are famous for taking place almost entirely on large agricultural complexes where agricultural as well as scholarly work were the lifeblood of maintaing the communities self-sufficiency. While this aspect of the Zen tradition had gone almost entirely unremarked upon in the Zen records due to its sheer normalcy it very much stands in contrast to the economic and social systems of organization that have risen (and fallen) throughout the rest of the world such as Manorialism, Serfdom, Capitalism, and Communism. The agricultural aspects of the Zen communes are evidenced in the countless cases that take place in the context of the community engaged in performing agricultural work and the academic aspects of the communes are evidenced both in the cases involving someone reading something, referencing something they read, asking about something they read, as well as the countless literary and historical references that Zen Masters weave into the books of instruction. The academic-LITERATE aspect of Zen communities has been deliberately misrepresented by Dogenists that cannot handle writing at a high school level about anything Zen Masters said despite claiming affiliation. It's a really sore subject for them.
Egalitarian
Zen Masters: No sexism. No racism. No special authorities in funny hats. Foyan:
If one says, “I understand, you do not,” this is not [Zen]. If one says, “You understand, I do not, “ This is not [Zen] either. In the Teachings it says, “This truth is universally equal, without high or low—this is called unexcelled enlightenment.” My perception is equal to yours, and your perception is equal to mine.
Unlike religious traditions such as Buddhism, Christianity, and Islam (to name a few...) there is no tradition in Zen of affirming a belief in the "spiritual inferiority" of women or asserting that they should conform themselves to any fixed role in social relations with men. The dharma-interviews involving women Zen Masters are some of the most intense and edge-of-your-seat one's out there. The one's we have translated records of are:
Iron Grinder Liu
Miaozong
Mrs. Pang
[Unnamed old women]
The failure of women's Zen voices to be preserved in equal proportion to their male counterparts they were engaged with is almost entirely due to the larger social mileau of sexism and erasure of women in non-subserviant roles from the public records that an extremely patriarchial society like China pursued with zeal at the time.
Commune
Unlike the phony kind of "work" of repeating religious apologetics, playing dress-up, or saying a few words over corpses that Priests while charging money from the faithful day-in, day-out--everyone in the Zen communities labored alongside everyone else and Zen Masters made a point of it to not exempt themselves from that. The famous "No work, no eat" comes from Baizhang. It's nothing revolutionary in the context of Zen, but it sets the world on fire for just about everybody else.
Baizhang, the Chinese Zen master, used to labor with his pupils even at the age of eighty, trimming the gardens, cleaning the grounds, and pruning the trees. The pupils felt sorry to see the old teacher working so hard, but they knew he would not listen to their advice to stop, so they hid away his tools. That day the master did not eat. The next day he did not eat, nor the next. "He may be angry because we have hidden his tools," the pupils surmised. "We had better put them back." The day they did, the teacher worked and ate the same as before. In the evening he instructed them: "No work, no food."
1000 Years of Stability
As an undercurrent to the Zen conversation are certain...lifestyle choices...that everyone has to observe before they can meaningfully participate. They're choices that everyone already recognizes are necessary in certain contexts and lifestyles that are overwhelmingly associated with healthy outcomes in those observing them consistently. The undercurrent to conversation in Zen is known as the "Lay" Precepts. Lay Precepts:
No lying
No stealing
No murder
No abuse of sex.
No intoxicating.
Observing this stuff won't neccesarily make anyone rich, famous, sexy, or funny. But that isn't anything Zen promises anyone to begin with anyway. In their tradition, observing these kept the conversation flowing for a thousand years. Why would anyone come to /Zen just to avoid talking about Zen?
2024.05.14 06:02 angelhoppers88Teenage comedy book
I read this book a few years back and can't remember the name or even much of the plot. The main character in the book was a female swimmer who was either in early high school or late elementary school. I remember that she tried out for a tv talent show. I think the characters in the book might have been from the UK. I wish I remembered more but I don't.
2024.05.14 06:02 Choice_Evidence1983I found my sister who disappeared from everyone more than 15 years ago after she ran away from home
I am NOT OOP, OOP isu/MediumGrouchy5547 Originally posted to TrueOffMyChest I found my sister who disappeared from everyone more than 15 years ago after she ran away from home Trigger Warnings:abandonment, depression, self-harm, eating disorder, possible mental health issues Editor’s Note: TCA stands for trastornos de la conducta alimentaria which translates into “eating disorder” Rastafarian: a religious movement Original Post: April 26, 2024 I'm really happy and confused and I really don't know if I can talk about this with friends and family but I need to share my experience with someone because I missed my sister. I don't need or want any advice since no one really knows the situation to be able to give a good advice without assuming things they don't know and it's weird to read people talking about my sister like if they know what she lived, I just want to share this and I know a lot of people have had experiences like this too so maybe someone can relate. When I was 10 years old my older sister who was 22 at that time disappeared after leaving a note to our parents saying that she's okay and just wants to start over her life. My sister was always a lonely but outgoing person, she always told me that she enjoyed solitude from time to time and noisy things took away from her quality of life because tbh it was loud LOUD where we lived and it was annoying even for me (we lived in a dangerous neighborhood so it wasn't too safe and she hated not being able to go for a walk at night or do things at night alone), she was depressed and I remember seeing her suffering from severe anxiety attacks, she used to hit herself to stop them and she had a strong TCA that triggered those things. She suffered from other mental issues as well and talked freely about that, she talked about those things in front of me and these are things that leave a mark on you. She was the favorite of the whole family although mi parents never out pressure on her, they always let us do our life (my brother who was 19 at that time knows that, my sister was the golden child), my grandfather always made it clear that she is his favorite granddaughter, even now. She was the calm but funny kind of person, she was the closest to my parents and uncles so when she disappeared from one day to the next no one understood what was going on. Even my sister had never traveled alone except to go to work and she always notified my mother that she was okay for safety reasons. She left a long note clarifying that she doesn't want to be searched but she loves us. It was a big blow for the family, I remember my mother wanting to report to the police but they said that my sister was not a minor and the note said that she left by her own so they can't do anything. In a way, my other brother knew that this would happen at some point, since our sister mentioned a lot that she wanted to leave everything and go live in the countryside or become a nun and live in a calm place without any worries but nobody took her seriously about that. She was always the kind of person who did things without telling anyone, she liked her solitude sometimes even if she was always friendly. The first months and weeks were strange, it wasn't that she had passed away but that she disappeared because she wanted to, I remember my mother missing her because they always shared the afternoons together. I also missed her a lot, Even years later my family missed her and at Christmas or her birthday someone would always say "maybe she'll show up now" or we would wonder how she's doing or if she was alive. Back to the present. I'm on vacation in the south of my country (This part of my country is very expensive for a tourist and I am the only one in my family who was able to come now that I am an adult), it's a place full of villages and while I was exploring I came to a place where they sold typical handicrafts of the place. While shopping I can swear that the first thing I saw was my sister looking at some crafts on a shelf, she looked more adult but obviously I recognized her instantly, we are really similar after all. I didn't really knew how to react after so many years and I didn't know how she would react, but I went over and said her name. What I didn't expected was that she would smile instantly when she saw me and called me by my nickname. I thought she had escaped because she didn't wanted anything to do with the family even if in the note she said she loves us, but she was greeting me as if nothing had happened. She told me that she didn't expected to see me there and asked me if I was on vacation, she said that the village used to be not so touristy but now more people started to go and many villagers opened stores for the tourists. I was upset, I was angry with her for leaving us and pretending that nothing happened but I couldn't react so I just asked her if she lives in that town and she said yes, It's a place filled with old people. We talked for a few seconds, she asked me what I'm studying and if everyone at home is okay, she told me I'm taller and thinner. Then she gave me a kiss on the cheek and told me that if I have a few days off I can go visit her but she doesn't have a cell phone so she told me that she's almost everyday there. My sister also told me to send hugs to our parents. I'm confused and full of questions about her, she doesn't even wants to hide, she didn't looked or talked to me like someone who wanted to run away from something and hide. She was just happy to see me and happy to know that we were all good. But I also feel resentment for her when I think about all that our parents and grandparents suffered when she disappeared, making my mother feel that she was a bad mother because she couldn't protect her. But I'm ambivalent as I'm also happy to know that she's okay and that she doesn't hate me or the family but I'm also confused, Her behavior wasn't that of someone who is hiding or who doesn't want to know anything about her past, she was just happy to hear about us. Edit: I'm sorry but there are people who clearly don't read the post, there are literally people saying that I didn't even knew my sister and commenting as if they knew her and taking things for granted about her life, there are even people saying that they don't understand why I'm 'angry' (it's just a feeling, a normal feeling, it's not that I hate her and I will treat her badly, god. Nor will I talk to my family without talking to her first, at what point in the post did I say that I'm going to expose her? I'm never going to treat her badly either because I have no reason to do so, It's crazy how half the comments draw silly conclusions) with my sister when i literally say it up there, even if my English is bad because it's not my first language, just read the post before you want to get a few likes for some unnecessary advice. Additional Information from OOP on his sister’s note
OOP: My sister in the note said that she loves our parents, my brother was 19 when our sister left and he himself knows how much our parents loved and supported her when she was having a hard time with herself but the outside always affected her badly. I was ten years old but I wasn't a baby and I remember what the family dynamic was like, I remember the feeling of my family, my parents are not narcissists and my sister loved them and they love who's my sister, she just had her own problems. How could a parent miss the idea of their children? There's not a day when my parents don't miss everything about my sister, they miss sharing the day with her, my father even missed when she was cranky. My parents always let us go our own way and I can assure you that they never pressured us to be what they wanted us to be, I don't even know what they want us to be.
Relevant Comments Mil1512: Is your sister neurodivergent? With the hitting herself when struggling with anxiety and enjoying solitude. I'm neurodivergent and my family live in another country. I honestly forget to talk to them most of the time and only really do because my mum messages me first. If she didn't we just wouldn't talk. Not due to any hate or anything, I'm just happy doing my own thing.
OOP: She's not. My sister had a lot of self-destructive behaviors and hurting herself was one of them when she felt 'fat', she also had eating disorders and panic attacks because of that. I don't remember too much but she did other things to not eat besides hitting herself, she was very open about her TCA and yes, she has a diagnosis from a professional. My sister was always in touch with my mother and everyone in text, she always used to keep in touch when she was going out until the day she left, now she doesn't even have a phone. In her note she just said that she wanted to leave everything
mikuzgrl: It almost seems like the sister has been in contact with someone for a while and thinks news is being passed back and forth.
OOP: I never thought about that but I don't think so, seeing how my parents miss her I think the first thing the family would do would be to at least tell my father that she is okay :/
Can people just stop with the aggressive messages? Weirdos: May 1, 2024 I understand that many reflect their personal traumas in this site, but I literally received passive-aggressive messages calling me idiot or even telling me that I would hate my sister if she were neurodivergent or claiming that my parents abused her. What's wrong with y'all? Go to a psychologist and stop reflecting your unresolved traumas in the story of a person you don't even know. Go out and touch grass and talk to a real person instead of literally sending private messages like that. I didn't asked for any advice and just wanted to share my story because that's the point of that subreddit, but many took it the wrong way and decided to turn something positive into a way to fight. I don't even understand why out of nowhere I started getting those kinds of messages or if someone share that post on a weird place.
Editor’s Note: TLP is trastorno límite de la personalidad which translates into Borderline Personality Disorder Update: May 7, 2024 On sunday I finally found my sister again, she was selling things in the park with other stands, all of them are rastafari, not hippies or a sect. I walked over and she greeted me just as happily, we talked a couple of things and my sister told me that she doesn't have a cell phone so it was impossible for her to tell me that she wouldn't be there on Saturday. I spent the afternoon with her at her stand and after that we went to her house, she lives alone (and sometimes with her friends). We talked for a while and at one point she broke down and hugged me, saying she was trying to stay calm all this time and didn't knew how to react because she didn't wanted to make me cry too bc she remembered that I was really sensitive but she couldn't hold it anymore. We cried and talked a lot. My sister was tired of people, she said that our house was her safe place but hated the idea of having to work everyday and I didn't wanted to study anything, she was our parents' golden child, so they let her do whatever she wanted, but she knew that at some point she had to make something of her life. She was tired of how stupid and empty everyone was, of the politicians, of the TV showing empty things, of the noise everywhere outside when she wanted peace, even sleeping in our home was stressful for everyone because of the noises outside during the weekends when she wanted to be alone to smoke and listen music (tbh, In my memories as a child I didn't remember the obvious smell of joints that my sister had all the time) That added to the pressure that society put on her to be physically perfect make her want to leave everything behind. She didn't wanted to die but realized that my parents were miserable when they saw her being miserable, this is something I didn't know, but my sister said that our father had two jobs to be able to pay for her psychologist and medication, also my father used to spoil her a lot with the only food she eat without guilty. Running away was like dying symbolically. My sister says that although our parents always supported her, she felt like a failture for not being able to improve and always relapsing, she felt bad to see our father working so hard and also wanted to live according to her spiritual mentality, free from all that is toxic in society. All of those things make her ran away from everything, she felt like a burden and also didn't wanted to live a life working and miserable like everyone. Sis told me that she never contacted us because she doesn't wants to have a cell phone and a trip to our province is too expensive to her because it's basically going from one end of the country to the other. She hates capitalist society with all her soul and doesn't even have a TV. My sister said that she is much better now away from the city. My sister told me that she wants to talk to our parents but doesn't knows what to say and we don't want to give them parents a shock since our dad was sick a few days ago and is recovering from dengue. I'm writing this with her beside me and doesn't understand what's the point of this site (The last social network she used was fotolog in 2007) but said that she doesn't mind if I post this. She wanted to write something but said she doesn't like writing in English haha My sister was reading the comments and wants me to clarify that she never suffered any kind of a abuse, she has a lot of friends and never had any problem with anyone but likes to be alone from time to time to meditate. And she's not neurodivergent (She said her behavior was normal because of her TLP), suffers from ED, borderline personality disorder and see a psychologist twice a month. During her adolescence, the blogs Ana and mia were trendy, her friends had that 'aesthetic' and she was popular in fotolog (according to my sister, at that time it was taken as an aesthetic and even a book about that was really popular between teens, maybe someone from my country knows Abzurdah?). She hated going out when she felt fat, she couldn't have imperfections like cuts on her arms so she hurt herself with a rubber band when she overate, something she read in those blogs. Now she's in a good weight but it took her really long to not relapse again. It's been a long recovery for her and once you're anorexic you never stop being anorexic, she's always afraid of relapsing. So that's it for now, we don't know how we're going to talk with our parents without making them freak out. And also my sister after seeing the comments on the post saw other reddit posts and said that her life is definitely better without a cell phone, she says that things like fotolog was the beginning of all evil haha Relevant Comments OOP on his sister being involved with Rastafari
OOP: Idk how it is in other countries to be honest, my sister doesn't live in community and there are no camps, she's one of the few who has a house because most of them prefer to travel around the country. I really think it's impossible for them to be 100% Rastafarian here tbh because we are from South America and the Rastafarian community here is obviously totally different from the REAL Rastafarians, they just follow most of the philosophy Edit: for example, my sister doesn't consider herself Rastafarian but she share some points of the philosophy they have, I don't know how the rest of them thinks
DO NOT COMMENT IN LINKED POSTS OR MESSAGE OOPs – BoRU Rule #7
Hey all, here's the rules: -This decor contest's theme is Freestyle, so go wild!-Your entry must be named and include a Share ID + your platform.-Images must be captured in the Photo Mode (phone photos will not be accepted).-Your entry must contain an image of your AC's shoulders and head in the garage.-Only one entry per person, per contest.-You may not enter an AC that has already been posted to a contest. This edition of Raven's Runway will run from May. 14th 12 AM EDT - May. 21st 12 AM EDT and will have a two day voting period immediately following. we look forward to seeing all of your entries! -The Mod Team
Just catching up on season 17, and I can honestly say I love many of the participants. Except the boxer…. I think he was edited poorly. The trio of 14 day fan challengers who worked together, that was beautiful teamwork. I love how the network has edited the participants as being more real. Not that our faves are not real, but I feel our faves (Matt, Laura, Stephen, yes Jeff, even Suzanne) all have so much ability that they have set the bar so high. I do feel this season of NAA is very fresh from previous seasons (don’t ever get rid of our legends and LOS peeps!!! , don’t forget LOS PEEPS!!!!) I am so grateful that even 17 seasons in, we have such new personalities and conflicts (personal, interpersonal and societal pressures) influence how they act. One person not from the season that I find most intriguing is Laura. She changes for her team no matter who is in her tribe, so to speak. We have seen her get mad at EJ, freeze if Stephen, and be on the outside edge of horsing resources, aka Jeff. Yet, she is loyal to whom she considers her tribe. This is why I cannot fault any survivor, except honora, I just can’t with her…. I just can’t. Was she a joke? A joke you tried to make funny twice? There is a reason we have our legends, and I cannot even name them all! What a wonderful season and I hopes to see more of these individuals make it to an all star league. I would love to see a re-do of original partners again. All the people who tapped out with their original partners. What would they do differently in the same situations? Do the participants have regrets when their partner left and what would/could they do differently. You All rock, not you Honora. 🤣🤪
2024.05.14 05:56 Arktikos02This is why people should read theory
Yes it's another one of these posts but I'm going to be talking from the perspective of the group I was in who were self-identified leftists or anarchists or whatever. We were not shy about our anarchism because we had a lot of books on the topic, and we had anarchist symbols all over the place so it was very much an anarchists space. That being said just over the past several months within this group there has been some ableism that has come to light. We are talking about not accommodating people who have a hard time standing for long periods, not accommodating people when it comes to masks, there was a person who had a service dog and when the non-service dogs were barking, nobody wanted to have the non-service dogs removed. Just recently there is going to be a retreat that is going to be for discussing important issues in relation to cop city and it's very far away and very inaccessible and when people were trying to suggest accessibility systems that person was called the problem, the person who made people aware of the deficit was the problem and then when I tried to advocate for myself there was a problem and I was basically told to go talk to the disability team and then I asked where they were and then it turns out they weren't there at all and so they created a signal chat with just three people, me, and two others. Am I saying you should only read theory, no. However if you want to be a physicist, I would also say that you shouldn't read just physics books. If you want to be a doctor, you should do more than just read medical books.
I am trying to balance my farming with more diamonds and less items (getting tired of selling so many darn potions and books). I am keeping a Chest Mimic and two Boss Chest Mimics in my loadout. I have two spots available. Current loadout is:
Chest Mimic
Boss Chest Mimic
Boss Chest Mimic
Super Magnet
Criticals IX
Diamonds IX
Available
Available
Locked
*Team is 91 huges* Is Diamond Chest Mimic any good? Am I better off just running another Diamond IX and a Diamonds VIII? other suggestions? Thank you in advance!
2024.05.14 05:49 Northern-ErrorText Overlay on Grid
Hello, I am just starting out with basic web design, and I am struggling to find a way to put my text over the images in a grid for the different services offered at this barbershop. Sorry for the messy code. Here is an image of a rough mockup I made of the website look I am trying to achieve: https://imgur.com/zltXPrT Any tips or helps would be greatly appreciated.