Prxy unblockable for college

Dear E. T. E.,
I am sorry that I wrecked our friendship by impulsively showing my true, strong feelings towards you. When I put my hand on top of yours, and told you the funny little fumble you did a little over 2 years ago was “Kind of cute”, I immediately regretted it, even though it is what I truly feel. When I asked if I could walk you home, what did you then think? I hope you did not suddenly think I was some creep, who wanted to force myself on you and into your home. The only reason I asked was I would love to talk for another 10-ish minutes more. I am wondering if this is truly some sort of avoidant tendency? I do not truly know the reason that you blocked me. We spent 6 hours playing board games, laughing, chatting, opening up about our lives. When we reminisced about the summer courses, I told you something you had done 2 years ago that you did not quite recall for the alcohol you had drunk that evening, and you seemed to smile so genuinely and widely, even, I swear, blushing. I thought it was a good sign, so I made the move. But I think I may have been too hasty. Now I regret it. I may never see or speak to you again. You are the person I care about the most in this world, and I never had the courage to tell you that. You knew I liked you, at least 2 years ago. I thought you liked me too, which is likewise why I did what I did. Of course, you may also simply been super excited about becoming much closer friends, getting to know each other and found yourself uncomfortable and unable to do so knowing the other person had such strong seemingly romantic feelings towards you while you did not have the same towards them. And did not want to hurt their feelings. But I wish you’d be direct instead, I’d be able to take it, distance myself for a time, rid myself of these feelings and only just be a friend. Or perhaps you are angry at me for trying again even though you had told me you were not interested in dating where you were in your life at the moment, but then again that was over 2 years ago and a lot can change in that time. Including feelings, yours, if you had any, having gone too…
Remember our coffee “date” after the movie? You put your foot on top of mine, and rubbed it there. I never knew whether you thought what you had it on was the table’s foot. It was dark after all. But the smiling, blushing face I seem to recall you giving me makes me think you did in on purpose? Was it flirting? Did you like me back then? You did this for 30 minutes… before we parted ways. For the last 15 or so minutes I had suddenly pressed my leg and knee into yours. You seemed to feel it and know, but you did not remove your leg or knee. Even if the foot thing was an accident, the leg thing was definitely flirting. That’s what your old “roomie” M. told me too, when I told her of our meeting. Another reason I asked if I could walk you home, that Thursday a few weeks ago, is that I never got the chance to do so back then. I think I was too chicken? I remember it was dark, there was a light drizzle over Copenhagen, the streets illuminated by pink and blue neon lights. You had stood up when you announced it was getting late and it was time to head home, then mentioned you had your bike but asked me if I was going home by train and bus? Many people have since told me this was your way to trying to make me ask if I could walk you home that night. I wish I had done it…
So, now you know part of the reason why I had asked. But now, I need to tell you, the reason I even was impulsive enough to make a move was that I have been in love with you for around 8 years… the first time I saw you, on that tour of the college building, in 2017, I immediately crushed hard. Your dark brown hair with its slight reddish sheen, your long dark translucent floral print skirt, tall and confidently moving around. And your eyes, with their dark green hazel-ish pupils, with its glint every time you’d smile… I was smitten on the spot! Throughout that course I only crushed harder and harder… you were so intelligent, having practically a database of TV Tropes inside of your head! I also felt we’d often steal glances at each other, in the theatre, in the dining/meeting room, and elsewhere. The kind where you’d look away when you noticed the other looking at you… Also, how many shared nerdy/geeky interests and hobbies we have, it blows me away. The way we can be ourselves in each others’ presence, it is like a positive mental environment. Even if both of us can be awkward and tense too, due to nerves, wondering what the other is thinking about the other… I think I’d relax so much more if I knew whether you liked me back 😅
After 5 or so years of our courses, we’d gotten to know each other enough, too, for you to declare me to be the nerdiest person you knew as you teased me, with mock anger, for not having seen a particularly nerdy movie… this moment, when I told you, was that made you smile that way I really love. Both the actual moment - and the long, warm good night hug that followed - and your smile at hearing of the moment, will be moments that will stick out in my brain forever. True core memories.
You grew a little distant in the months that followed our first 1-on-1 outing, but you also had people to see you hadn’t seen in a year for COVID… I regret being pushy in my texts in this period of time… I am so sorry! The flirty moment between us, though, had me very confused, especially for the text I got the next day as I wrote to you that I liked you and would like to ask you out on a “proper” date. M. told me your reaction was probably just you being a little taken aback, perhaps scared, at what this “proper date” thing would really mean. That’s why I started thinking you may simply have an avoidant attachment style? I thought perhaps eventually, you’d trust I’d never reject you, or judge you. After all, I have been in love with you for such a long time. Now for nearly a decade. Almost a decade… even if you don’t have romantic feelings for me, even if you once did but lost them, I know I won’t be comfortable having you in my life, supporting you, getting to know you better, at all, after nearly a decade. Please, I hope if you ever read this letter that you won’t be too overwhelmed and disappear even more. I really hope that you will unblock me. In any case, we really need to talk…
I hope your imminent trip to your favorite Asian nation is a lovely you!
With love, L.S.

Throwaway account and fake names.
I (19F) am in my first year of "college". It's technically not considered a proper university, but it is however, an institution that specialises in performing arts. I took dance as my major, studying ballet, but I'm an aspiring street style dancer and choreographer, especially for popping, waacking and hip hop.
My dream had been solidifed since I was at a young age. I did take ballet when I was in preschool and in my elementary school years, but when I took my first hip hop class at the only street dance studio in the city, it made me feel different than anything else. Not only did I feel happy, but it just felt like it was right for me. Dancing made me feel extremely connected with myself and other people around me. No judgement for self expression and it felt like a tight community that was open for more.
My dance teacher would tell my parents privately after classes that they should consider making me take more classes or even consider helping me become a professional dancer one day, as she said I had a natural aptitude for it. My parents had always wanted me to pursue the academic path that other kids around me were taking. The usual route of getting good grades, getting into a good college and getting a degree which would help me get a stable job. I did try listening to them for a little bit, especially with the threats of financial instability and shaming me by comparing me with other korean kids around me. But they eventually gave up on trying to convince me. They still definitely did not support me unfortunately, despite reluctantly giving me a pursue pass.
When I got accepted into my dream college for dance, as my college was out of state, instead of a dorm or a proper bedroom apartment, I decided to rent a studio, which also had dance schools nearby, which was a double killer deal. Nothing much. Just enough to help me go day by day. Despite not having much, I loved the place that I got. It's really awesome for me to spend time there coming up with choreographies and practicing after I attended classes.However, not everything was smooth sailing. The rent is extremely expensive. Even after working part time jobs, it was financially exhausting.
There was an incident a few months ago that happened to me which really made me want to quit dance at one point. I had made a hesitant phone call to my parents, when I was struggling with paying off the rent at a point, when the landlord increased it.
The phone call went downhill and it was a lot worse that I thought it would go. Long story short, they kept bringing up my past and how bad I was in comparison with other kids in the grade, my family friends and my cousins. Pretty much a whole session of berating and shit talk and they decided not to give me any money, because in their eyes, I was a disobedient and enough of a disappointment of a daughter. Despite having endured this kind of thing since I was a young kid, I hung up on them, hurt deeply and blocked their numbers. Even though I yelled at them out of anger and seemed fine with cutting off my parents, I felt extremely numb. I knew my parents disapproved, but I thought once they let me move out, things would get better, but it only seemed to be worse.
Even though this incident was a while back, I'm writing this vent out now, as the upcoming showcase for my out of state hip hop dance studio and the crews performing were happening. I, along with some of my team leaders helped choreograph an entire section with around 50 people for the whole performance and I was also a main dancer for one of the youth crews, with an entire solo. However, the spirit of wanting to perform was dampened significantly, knowing that my parents would still not appreciate the things I were doing. I knew even having a lead role and being heavily involved in a famous showcase wasn't famous or worthy enough for them.
I thought about unblocking my parents to call them and tell them that I landed some major roles and that they could just watch me and film me at the performance without having to speak to me, but I knew that there was zero chance of that happening.
I have intrusive thoughts about everything they've done to me a few times during the week and right now, I'm feeling extremely shitty, but I'm glad I could get it out there. I hope I move on quickly, now that I'm seeking help from counsellors out there.

Tw: sa, mental illness and stalking.
Hi. I am currently grieving a relationship of mine and can’t really talk about it without sounding crazy to anyone in person so I decided to come here.
Relationships can mold people in many ways whether that be platonically or romantically. Unfortunately I grew up in sort of a colder house hold, always craving some kind of touch from my family, but my father was always deployed or working and my mother was always working as well. I guess you could say I developed an anxious attachment style with my friends because of this. Even as a kid, when people hurt my feelings I still wanted to be their friend so badly because I had so much forgiveness in my heart. Sure I was independent, I was the oldest sibling, but I really just wanted to be heard by someone. Even if that meant they’d hurt me, as long as they listened I didn’t care. I had a lot of terrible friendship experiences, especially in high school, but more so terrible dating experiences.
Past relationships.
My first serious relationship was with an older man, I was 16 and he was 20. I won’t go into the details about this relationship because this story isn’t about him, but he wasn’t good to me. He cheated, blackmailed me and abused me both mentally and physically. But for some reason. I stayed for 9 months. And he continued to block me, unblock me, block me, repeat until my face turned purple and my eyes couldn’t cry anymore. It hurt me so bad. I knew I didn’t do anything wrong, but he would hurt me so bad. And before you say, “why didn’t you leave?” He would record us during intercourse and threaten to send it to my high school so I was too scared to leave. I also had a lot of health issues in this time, cancer to be specific, and at school everyone kind of already thought I was weird because I was the girl who came back from summer vacation and was skinny and had a cut across her throat. The assumed I attempted, but it was just from surgery of a tumor removal. I was alone for the most part outside of him. I finally did leave though once I ended up in the hospital because of this man. I didn’t feel anything for him anymore, he would ruin me then and for the rest of my life. Because of this entire relationship, I think I developed ptsd or bpd. Apparently some form of mental illness runs in my family so this just triggered it. To make a long story short though, it ruined me. I struggle a lot still because of it, maybe I’ll talk about the whole story another time. But i didn’t get any help afterwards. i did get offered by my mother to go to therapy. I just considered it not that big of a deal, i didn’t want to be affected by this. I just wanted to try and move on. Even after everything he had done to me. I just wanted to let it all go. I was a kid after all. A few months after, I had built myself up a little and was now 17, I met another guy, 19. I was a Senior now, had some friends and actually started enjoying life. Sure that’s all great but guess what? He also cheated on me and mentally abused me. I had only stayed with him so long because my mom had cheated on my dad so I didn’t want to be home a lot because of the fighting. So I clung to him. And again I was in another relationship where I obviously wasn’t wanted. But this time he actually tried to leave instead of stringing me along. This was very early in, around the 3 month mark. I don’t know why… I just broke down and instead of letting him go because I’d caught him cheating, I drove to his house and begged him to stay. I drove. to his house. And begged him. to stay. Constant texts, calls on every app possible, knocking at the door. I was passionate, but why? I just didn’t want to have to go home? I don’t even know why I was so stupid. But we stayed together, for another 9 whole months. Patterns right? Well we finally broke up because I’d caught him cheating one last time and he just didn’t want to deal with me anymore because he knew he really just didn’t want me. Which is ok. There’s alot of things that told me I wasn’t the one for him but again, this story isn’t about him, we can talk about this another time. So what did I do? Well the second I got blocked by him one by one on every platform, I again felt intense rage and sadness and started spamming and calling and this time even making fake numbers. I feel ashamed I was so alone I felt the need to try and cling to these men. It is disgusting. I wish I was better. But after about a month and a few hookups I was back to normal and didn’t care. Well this time I stayed single for two years. I understood I needed to work on myself and actually become an adult now that I was 18. I did go to college for a about two months but ended up dropping out because I’d realized with all the health issues, abusive relationships and lost times I had in high school, i wanted to find myself. So I saved up to move out my parents house, started playing more video games and making more friends, moved out and partied a lot. Lots of live shows and concerts, I was thriving. I finally wasn’t depressed and actually felt like I had meaning. I was getting a lot of attention online, getting recognized at every party or show. I felt really good. For the first time in my entire life, I felt good. I wasn’t just the sick girl anymore.
The confession.
Well that brings me to September of last year. After two years I was finally ready to love, have a real nice good relationship to be in. You know, meet my husband or whatever. The only problem was that I’d gone on dates a little and I was on dating apps, but everyone in my city goes to this really fancy art school and they’re all really stuck up and ugly so I wasn’t really into anyone locally. But tiktok, tiktok had some beautiful men. And I am quite the escapist so the idea of a long distance relationship didn’t seem so bad. So that’s where I met him . I woke up one day to a new follower and I was instantly impressed. He posted niche things that I was into like current hardcore music recommendations or books that he found interesting. Most importantly though he was so pretty. Actually the most gorgeous man I’ve ever laid eyes on. So we texted. We texted everyday and I found out he’d actually visited my city before and loved it. The only problem was that he was 7 hours away. But it didn’t matter to me. Usually with new guys I was extremely skittish, hard to open up, usually ghosting men or friend zoning them. I am a hard nut to crack, but I think we can agree opening up can be hard when your trust gets broken. With him though, we texted all the time and FaceTimed and I just wanted to meet him so badly. Well we were all great until I’d looked through his following casually and found out he kissed another girl behind my back after we’d talked about being exclusive. When I found out I immediately confronted him and he just blocked me. And it happened again. I started begging him on another app he didn’t have me blocked on to stay and give me a chance. And he eventually answered and stayed with me all night talking about how he was sorry and he wanted to meet me and he was just using her in that moment to forget about me incase i wasn’t real. It was still so upsetting for me, but I do have to admit I didn’t want to let him go because there was something so charming about him. I also had told him about my past relationships and health issues etc and it felt like he really understood me. He was always gentle with me, very considerate and always at my call if I ever needed him. He hadn’t messed up until this moment and I don’t know, something told me he was different and I just needed to relax and realize that long distance is hard for some people. So at this point I was determined to meet him in person. The cycle never breaks I guess. I then planned a trip on Halloween to go see him and I did and it was probably one of the best decisions of my entire life. His financial situation was a lot worse than mine, still living with his relatives. So I paid for everything except for the food on this trip and every trip going forward. The second id seen him in person I could feel shock waves of warm throughout my entire body, like I was meant to meet him. It was really awesome because I’d never had this kind of experience with anyone in my entire life. After four days of being together, I remember leaving and for the first time in my life, someone cried over me. I watched him cry as I was leaving the hotel parking lot, crying with him because I didn’t want to leave. I wanted to be there forever. Something in me changed that day, I felt so healed. I don’t know. We ended that trip as boyfriend and girlfriend and for the next three months we would call every day, text a lot and just have a good time. I visited him again on his birthday in December and ended up also meeting his friends. It was good, everything was so good. I felt so extremely connected to this man. He used to be silly and say things to me like “I’m not a spiritual person, but I really think we were meant to meet. I swear we walked down the same street somewhere in (my city) or touched the same sign. It’s like I’ve known you my whole life” and that was extremely reassuring. Until the first week of January. On New Year’s Day he told me he was excited to spend this new year with me, but now, a week in I’d called him about visiting on my birthday and he told me not to come. I was so upset. I went to see him for his birthday, so what was the problem with mine? Well he said for money reasons. Which was true, we both weren’t financially well at all and we were both working 35-45 hours a week just to see each other, but I had enough, I was coming. It was my 20th birthday and I wasn’t about to leave my teens without some kind of memory and I loved every memory we had. I didn’t see anything wrong with that. Throughout the next few days after that he got more and more distant and it was tearing me apart. Which I should’ve expected this, but he eventually did send that awful break up text. He claimed it was because of depression, but it didn’t feel right. I’ve dealt with depression the majority of my life and I can say anytime I’m feeling alone he’d make it all better. It was easy to ignore things with that kind of support, it was the first time I had anything like that. So I told him I’d be here for him, we didn’t have to break up, I would be here for him and we could work through this without giving up. But he didn’t want to and blocked me on everything except for discord and Snapchat. So what did I do at 1 am when I received this text, I drove to see him. I thought maybe if he saw me, maybe the distance is the problem, maybe I could go see him and calm him down. I’m stupid. I’m crazy. Once I got there I immediately called him and well… I didn’t get to see him. He was extremely upset I’d just drove 7 hours after he tried to break up with me and did not want to see me. After an hour of talking and trying, eventually I drove back home. He did make sure to call me during my trip and felt extremely bad for not seeing me, but I was so mentally defeated by now. Once I got home for the next week we talked about things and decided for my birthday I would still come and afterwards we would go on a break and take some space to deal with our mental problems so we could come back as better people. I don’t like breaks. I understand they are usually just the slow end, but I was trying to give him the benefit of the doubt because I really truly did love this man. During this week before I came he did still have me blocked, but of course I had another tiktok account and noticed he’d been following tons of new girls and posting thirst traps and such that many of the same girls would comment on. This made me extremely upset. But I bottled it up because the one time I tried to ask him if he was cheating, he simply got defensive and said no. So I didn’t want to make things worse, I just wanted to see him . When I went to visit for my birthday it was a normal trip, had a good time and it’s like nothing was wrong with us. Until the last day. I casually mentioned visiting again in March so that way we could save all February and not be stressed about another trip. Well. He said “I kind of thought it would go without saying that we won’t be planning things together anymore.” I immediately began crying and went into the other room. It was really over. It was like the guy that I first met, the one who promised me the world, told me I was special and I was his forever, he was gone. But that thought couldn’t even boil properly because he was there in the room a second later, holding me and telling me to breathe. After I calmed down I of course gave a long speech about how I was always there for him, I loved him no matter what, I wanted to be with him forever and he was the person I couldn’t see myself without. And he didn’t say a word. He just looked at me with the saddest eyes I’ve ever seen and stood over me. I don’t quite remember how this all ended because it was an episode but we ended up having intercourse and he left with an I love you. Before I drove home that next day, I’d visited him at his college for a bit because I didn’t know when the next time I’d see him was. I felt like things would be okay. We took some final pictures with my digital camera and kissed a lot. It was normal. Yea until he gave me his “lucky 2 dollar bill.” He gave it to me and told me to hold onto it for him for good luck. For forever he said. Something about it was so .. sad. I kind of knew this was the last time I’d see him. Even though we kept saying “don’t worry it’s only until March!” I kind of knew. His expressions were still sad, just so empty. I just knew. So we said goodbyes and I pretended it wasn’t the last time I’d see him and I went home. Well for the next month it was horrid. The same girls showing up in his comments, no more calls unless I begged for them and a constant reminder of the break. He ruined every day. I don’t understand why things were going the way they were, but they did. And I understood he was doing this on purpose now. So in a final attempt to save this relationship I did confront him one last time about the potential cheating and I was hit with the “the truth is I don’t want to be with you anymore.” And then a paragraph about how sorry he was, a picture of us and then I was blocked. No explanation, no closure. Nothing. It went from the purest love I’d ever felt to a ghost in the snap of a finger. I was so lost. So the cycle continued. I called over and over, but this time. It was worse. I feel bad for doing this. I wish I was better, but I just really didn’t want to lose him. I didn’t know if he cheated for real, but he was a good person. He treated me so well, was so loving and considerate of me. He always made sure I felt beautiful. He introduced me to this whole new world of music and movie culture. I don’t know. I loved the way his warmth felt on mine. I didn’t want to let this go. So I got my friends to text him, and when he blocked them, I made new fake numbers. Dumping hundreds of dollars into stupid phone apps to try and contact him. He just got more and more mad but I just wanted to talk to him, I just wanted to fix this. I didn’t understand it. Eventually he did talk to me, calm me down, promise to talk to me again. But days went by, and he didn’t. So again, I called and texted and called and texted. I stalked his socials every day, waiting for a repost to know he was on his phone. I tried to “move on”. I’d went on dates, slept with another man, gone to concerts, parties… connected with nature? I tried it. But I just wanted him and I was far to depressed to even do anything other than cry at this poin. And unfortunately this continued for 4 months. I just couldn’t stop. Everytime I was better, I just got sad and started texting him again. Why did he did this? Why did I have to go? Answers that I had never received. And wouldn’t because he continued to ignore me of tell me to fuck off and leave his life. At this point I only said kind things, begging him to just talk to me and just to remember me and how much I missed him. But he was so cruel. I just wanted to talk to him. So that’s when I threatened him. Early on in our relationship I’d done some of his homework for college for him and I had all the screenshots and told him if he didn’t answer and explain why he just randomly let go is id send the screenshots to his school. He replied. He called. Of course he was mad I threatened him, but I just wanted answers and i couldn’t deal with the silence anymore. But I still didn’t get answers because he himself said he didn’t know why he randomly lost love for me. He told me he’d done this to the girl before me as well and this time with me he tried to be nice about it, but he just didn’t love me anymore just like the last girl. And with that, i grew even more depressed. I stopped calling for about a week but on a drunk night i tried my final Resort, watsapp. The only thing he didn’t block me on. And he replied. Sorta. He talked to me. Promised not to block me and that we could stay cool. He would text me when he could because apparently he was very busy. Just… letting me in again I thought. But I was stupid and of course this was just a way to get me to shut up. And again I got mad when he didn’t reply for days and eventually I figured out how to turn off my no caller Id to stop wasting money on the fake number apps and called again and again. I just felt like time was running out for us and we could still save it. I just wanted to save it. I had let go of everything before, let people hurt me, let everything just disappear like it didn’t matter. But I didn’t want to now, I wanted to fix it. I wanted to work on us to be better people. I’m so stupid. This turned into more rage obviously and I ended up threatening him again and saying if he didn’t answer I’d text his mother. I feel bad. I wouldn’t actually do these things, but the problem is that he wouldn’t answer if I was nice so at this point I was so desperate. And he called, instantly. We had a long talk, he was upset but calmed down and so did I. Eventually he agreed to try to take a week to fix our relationship and try and see if any feelings can come back to life. God I was so excited. I knew it could work and he’d promised he’d try.. right? He promised. Well. Three weeks went by and we called 4 times for twenty minutes each. Had meaningless conversation because he was so “busy”. I’d reply instantly to him, to which he’d reply after every hour to three hours. I tried everything to be cool about things. I respected when he said he didn’t want to call, i didn’t spam him. I sent him pictures of things i did that day, sent him new music I’d found. Waited patiently to talk about our relationship and not stupid things. Waited for him to not be so busy. Eventually though, I just got mad. On the last day, I asked him to call after he’d been out at a party the night before. He didn’t answer. I asked again. No answer. So I spammed. And I called. And all he said was “busy”. I didn’t care. I told him to call me now. He did after about thirty minutes. And we sat on the phone for an hour. Him saying how much he hated me, hated who I was, wanted me out his life, didn’t care about us and he stopped trying after the first week because he realized he didn’t like me at all. Everything I said gave him the ick. To which I combated with how much I tried and how he promised he’d tried and we would’ve had better conversations if he just actually talked to me. But he didn’t care. I tried to talk about our relationship, how much I loved him. How much I knew about him and how I was just wanting to see him again. But again, he didn’t care. It was then that he stopped me in my words about an hour and twenty minutes into this call and said “if you contact me again I’m getting a restraining order on you.” I was silent. I knew I overstepped, but was it really this bad? He then talked about how he was tired of dealing with this and just wanted to live his life without me. He didn’t need me threatening him, he wasn’t going to have his mom figuring out about all this. He wasn’t going to talk to me ever again, there was never going to be an us ever again and he’d known that since we got together that he never really wanted us. He apparently still didn’t know why, but he just knew the entire relationship that he didn’t want me. I didn’t fight this. I simply told him I was sorry and that if he ever wanted back into my life, I’d always love him. And we said good bye. I am still processing this, it’s only been a few days. But I feel so empty. I know I need help, I’m trying to get an therapist and get a true diagnosis. I feel immense pain. Cheating is bad, it’s terrible. But I didn’t mean to scar him for life. I just wanted things to go back to normal. I suppose I don’t know what else to say. I will think about this for the rest of my life and I feel extremely bad for hurting the only person I really ever loved.
I’m sorry.

My (18M) best friend (18 NB) is moving out of state for college. I'm heartbroken. They are like the only friend I have and I hate losing them. I also failed my exams so I'm being held back a year. I hated the idea of them moving away so I got drunk and a typed a bunch of good ol 'I miss you 😭😭😭' and stupidly added a 'I like you no I love you like love love??? I realised that because you were moving away' and 'I get why all of them were rizzed up by you' before blocking them. The next day one of my friends contacted me on discord and told me to unblock them. They are now hurt that I confessed and dipped like that. 'your so brave for saying this'. 'lets talk'. were something they added. Now I genuinely don't know what to do and what to say. I wish I could go back in time and smack myself. Our relationship is ruined. I'm hoping they reject me but still our relationship has changed thanks to my stupidity. I'm like a groom who got cold feet at the altar and decided to ditch the wedding rn.
TL;DR: Realised my best friend is moving away, told them I liked them even though I don't and tried to cut them off.

This is going take long pls read if u have time...I'M SORRY for this long ass story...pls give sm advice if u can tysm
Okay so there's this girl..I 19F now..idk how to mention her..we both were best friends since last 4 years(since 2020 April)we once used to go to same English tuition in std 7 which was in 2017 and continued till 2018 we were just regular normal friends...she was really quite and soft girl and talked nicely and seemed nice so we had our contact numbers exchanged ofc for study purposes but we were in diff schools back then..then after leaving this tuition we stopped contacting eo as we were really busy then suddenly lockdown happened and I posted a portrait of bts member which I sketched then she replied with that and we kept talking about kpop and bts for months and slowly grew really close and started understanding eo cuz were going thru some similar life shit and we grew so close that we literally called eo soulmies and kept contact nicknames we found it adoring..and we had similar pains and past traumas as well..we used to talk every single day from gm text to gn..we were eo's comfort place.
The funny thing was we talked sm that my mom grew so suspicious about it cuz I kept texting and it was some diff shit at my house like she grew to hate my friend...she even read our texts it made me mad for sure but I never let that thing grew apart us.
As time went we talked every single details to eo..she used to shower me with all the affection and attention I ever needed..wrote my text letters almost like an essay..it made me love her more and was grateful to have a friend like her finally in my life.
So after 10th std I decided to switch school to hers cuz I wanted humanities and it was not available in my school sadly so she really helped me cuz I didn't know anyone in that school she gave me contact numbers of her other friends who took humanities to help me out for the notes and subjects...we still adored eo sm I literally had started growing some diff kinda feelings for her??? She literally turned me bisexual for her..no like we literally texted eo that way and we weren't even embarrassed she liked me that way lmfao and I did too after I confessed to her
It was going fine till now until we goy busy with our studies..the lockdown was over..now it was time to attend school offline...I used to keep texting her every now and then,she used to reply in a couple hours then the couple hours turned into days and then to weeks slowly...I knew she was really very busy with her academics as an Pure science student and it was a lot of presa cuz she was pressurised by her Parents especially father that she has to crack jee and stuff and I rooted for her obviously I wanted the best for my beloved person to achieve good things so I hardly complained to her for not giving me time and attention cuz I knew she was working really hard for the academic validation...
And here's me..it's not that I didn't had my own studies..I too was busy going to school attending lectures and ofc trying my best to settle down with the new environment alone..I too had coaching for my design entrance exams it was tiring but i thoughti had a safe place while talking to her will make happ yand make me forget my stress but she hardly answered my texts so I stopped botheringhercuz she had her own stuffs and all and she the main thing was she never texted me first and never said what's going into her life until I forced her to say she never tried to reach me when she needed help..she never tried to even if I said come to me I'm always here to listen u out.
I thought going to her school would be easy for me cuz she'd be there for me but she didn't come to school in 11th grade whole as it was not compulsory for attending...I kept on requesting her throughout the session to attend school so that we could meet for once but she never came to school that year(we could never meet outside cuz we were too busy and she probably wouldn't make it). Then in the next year it became compulsory for seniors to attend school so she used to attend sometimes in a week..we used to meet in breaks or between class exchange times..she then confessed me that she's bi too smhw she's really shy about saying it to me it almost made me crack in person and that meant she liked me that way..I wasn't surprised ofc..it made my heart flutter eventually and happy...but then I said I'm over that phase buy not completely..idk she might have goy upset for that a bit
We were in good terms till then...until I heard one of her classmates said she has a boyfriend??? I thought they just don't know about her that's why they are saying these things and ignored and ofc I don't believe them..cuz if she had one she would say that to me obv..I'm the first person to know about it..then I asked directly to her that are they joking or u really have one? Then she said "I had" I was..I literally had no word I was so speechless that moment..I was dumbfounded...I got mad at her but for not too long cuz I can't be mad with her for a long time
Then the session came to an end...there was smthg I was kinda mad with her so I didn't gave her a hug thar last of our school but then little text talks made me relive my madness even tho we texted once in 4-5 months obviously I texted first and called twice 6 months if she wasn't busy. Then after passing out from school last year we FINALLY made a plan to hangout with eo at a book cafe...we loved reading novels so it was a right place for us to spend some good time...I missed her sooo fvckin much and we met..we discussed many things..I got to know we were having same current interests cuz we never texted in recent yrs..we still adored the same amount as before...um idk about her but atleast I loved her more and nothing changed..it was a beautiful day..it was also thr first time we clicked pics for the first together.
Then she slowly started replying more slowly like 2-3 weeks later it made me bother somewhere but I didn't mind that much still...it wasn't like wasn't busy or I had nothing to do I was struggling with colleges and exam preparations it was traumatising and I didn't reach out to her cuz she'd not answer me and I can't explain everything from the beginning and SMH it became tiring for me now since the month of October?? I had nowhere to vent myself but I kept those feelings to me and have some good online friends so I called her(online friend) and shared my life issues to relive but she wasn't there when I needed her just this way I used to text her few things sometimes about our mutual interests like what we are watching or reading lately to keep talking as an excuse..it got worse when she didn't replied to me within 2-3 days I used to dream about getting her notifications before waking her every day just to open my phone and see thar it was just a silly dream
Whenever I texted to her about why she ignores me like thar I felt anxious everytime and this dream stuffs happens to me then her texts were always sweet like " u are my only one...,I'll make up to u one day I'm sorry...I'm busy ....I'm having classes so I can't reach out to u ...I'm sorry baby...i ignore everyone's text I only text with u.." stuffs smhw made me convince..i only thought of her everyday..it made it come her in my dreams regularly...once I dreamt of us kissing eo it was so embarrassing to me...I couldn't process this...I texted to her and we had a long conversation of not saying what happened to us then I said u should confess first what she dreamt of and it was exactly similar to mine but she saw it like 6 months ago but was too embarrassed to tell me. It was a hilarious night fr..we talked sm just like old days we used to..idk what it really meant.
Anyways..February of this yr came me and my other 3 friends thr grp of 4 of std 12th made a plan to hangout with eo after almost an year cuz some of them went to college out of city..we met and talked stuffs and one of them was her(my bsf) friend who help me with notes and classes in first yr...she talked about her old friends and "my bsf" too like how she never texts to anyone she ignores everyone and how she was in her middle school with her friends how she betrayed her friend and stole her bf and was talking about if her friends were having boyfriends or not and then I confidently again said that "naah..shs is not like that i knoe her very well and she doesn't have any if she had she would tell me and she only talks to me" then we stopped talking about it then.And it is in my vocabulary to call my close friends as 'bro' "bhai" she replied with "don't bro me" as in she didn't want to get bro zoned lmfao it was cute.
Then I called my other friends after thr meet up day whom I haven't talked in few months I was free so..I called her too I thought she wouldn't pick up buy she surprisingly did and we talked for a good time..but it wasn't a good conversation...that time I got to know it wasn't what I actually used to think about her...after asking many times she said she had 2-3 exes..1 current that too it was kind of fake dating...and 1 girl crush...this call made me feel so drained,low,anxious and betrayed and she still claimed i don't call her and it was first time I felt uneasy talking to her so I cut the phone. Then valentines day came I was waiting for her to wish me...her notification made me so happy and texted me HVD really lovingly with a yellow rose pic she was holding I was ecstatic about it I wished her back..I thought that pic was from Pinterest but then I asked this Rose is so pretty "who gave it to u" in thr hope of getting the answer "I bought it", "I downloaded this pic" or smthg like thar but instead it was "my boyfriend gave me ...it was my first time receiving a rose" I was dumbfounded again...it made me feel kinda mad that the she never told me properly she had been in a relationship this all time..was it too much to deserve as a friend?ofc I'd be the happiest if she would be in a happy relationship with a man of her liking who made her happy...I wanted us to be Normal friends...but guess it was never...Anyways so I asked right after that "did u go on a date" she replied "yes" it was hard for me ask all these even though I didn't wanted to but still for her happiness I asked further " tell me everything about happened today gimme some tea" and then.....She left me on seen for fvckin 10 days straight..
I wanted to bash out to her It was my limit now I don't to keep being like this anymore...I wanted to get angry at her and say all my worries that how she has made me so traumatised lately but I just said 'I hate u' without saying much this time I was serious with this text but still seeing thar she didn't replied anything after seeing my text..and after few days she sent me picture of some fruit attached to it saying "baby can you draw this for me?" I was like 'huh??? Seriously ' u don't think we need to talk smthg??? I left her on seen after that until 3 months
I never stopped thinking about her idk..I say to myself I hate her buy still I can't get a hold of myself from thinking about her still every fvckin single day...
So I told her I now have a boyfriend cuz I thought I should let her even though she doesn't deserve to know about this but I'm not like her and texted to her aggressively these things.
Then on my birthday on April she texted me ''Happy birthday (my name)* lots of heart*" exactly at 00:00 . The fact that she never texted me with my name it really..it was not expected but expected..I thought this year she won't wish me even...I replied with just "thanks" which I never texted like with her I was mad tho..then I said "don't u have smthg else to say " she ignored that them I said "u can block me of u are done with me" after that I blocked her I felt really good but then after few days I unblocked her again..I kept dreaming of her like she'd apologise to me or text me anything but it is never happening.
My online and other friends recommended to ditch her block her after I shared this issue with them..I blocked her but couldn't resist myself to unblock .. There was never a day that I never thought about her it's sickening, I even cried sometimes..I want to hate her the amount of I loved her but I can't..we had so many future plans together as friends and goals I never thought of getting another person in my life at all..
I got so desperate today that In my half sleep I thought of texting her again so I texted her "do u hate me" after few mins I deleted it then she texted me back with " what did u delete " I didn't know what to say I was so nervous then after 3 hrs I replied back "nothing..I was half asleep " and she replied back after that so I deleted that as well
I keep on thinking about her more than my own bf and I still can't love him the way I love her it's so complicated I don't know what I'm doing...I feel isolated and anxious and EMPTY without her...I hate her sm but I need her...
Sorry it was me ranting my boring ass issues... If u have read till the end thank you sm and help me out with this if u can.!!

I began college 2 years ago, and I met this girl in my first week. She was into me from the get go, I could tell (and she subsequently told me after we became friends) but I wasn’t attracted to her, I actually found her annoying. Anyways, I was going for other girls and not really focusing on anything with her. Those other relationships and situations never developed really since I’m emotionally broken and I always go for other emotionally broken women subconsciously.
So anyways, I don’t have any luck with any of them so I just focus on friends and my degree. I become a lot closer with her. She becomes someone I enjoy spending time with one on one.
So now, over the past few months I’ve been having feelings for her. I denied it for a long time because it would become too messy and I still developed crushes on other women, but when those went south id find myself thinking of her again. So eventually, after a lot of deep and intimate conversations, I told her how I felt and said we should give it a go.
She responded by saying she’s not ready for anything serious and that we have different intentions with dating. I want to date to be “we” but she wants to date for fun. And I think that’s is true. But I can’t help but feel she was letting me down easy. I said that’s fine, I’ve been rejected before and I’ll get over it quickly.
So over the next 2 weeks, I just started going for other girls because that was my coping mechanism to get over rejection. But I just didnt feel it working. I still missed her. So I told her we need some space.
She said that’s fine and everything but since we are in the same friend group, it was hard for that to happen. I still also felt I could be her friend and talk about intimate things without it being serious, but I started to go back into that mindset. So I told her I need to go non-contact with her.
The problem is non-contact doesn’t work if you’re in the same friend group without anybody knowing what happened lol. So we both get invited to the same stuff and we’re bound to see each other. I unblocked her to apologise for it being weird and immediately blocked her again.
And it got bad the other day. We had a class together and I had to sit next to her with nobody to the side of me. I tried to talk to her but she kind of just ignored me and talked it out other friends. So I felt awkward and broke the non-contact again phoning her asking if we can just act normal in front of other ppl.
Looking back on it that’s a really unfair request by me and she had every right to be angry at what I said. She lost her patience and basically started getting angry asking “so what do you want from me? I try to respect your non-contact but then you always break it. Then you ask to not be non-contact. What do you want from me? Because I’m trying my best here.”
And that made me realise I was in the wrong. So I apologised. And now after that, she said she’s been doing some processing of everything too and she’ll review whether we can still be friends after the summer break.
So now I’m just sitting here. This rejection has made me feel the need to process my actual emotions instead of shutting them down and it’s made me feel depressed. I feel there’s a lot broken with me and how I act. I feel that I disrespected her emotions and I feel a sense of grief and longing all the time. I feel like crying every other day and I feel lost.
I feel that I can be manipulative with my actions without even realising and that I’m always thinking about myself and not the other person.
It’s why I’ve not found anyone to be healthy with, and that I always find a connection in other broken people. That’s the other thing about this is that she has a lot of her own issues which she’s admitted to. She has a victim mentality sometimes and a feeling that everyone’s out to get her.
We’re both anxious avoidant, which makes this so much more unhealthy too lol. But I’m trying to fix myself, but it doesn’t feel like it’s working. It feels worse and more prolonged and I’m tired of it. I wish that I took no action on this, it would have been better. I honestly don’t feel comfortable in my friend group anymore, but I feel there’s no other friends I can fall back on, so I’m just stuck. I feel like they’d side with her in this and not me so I feel like I might get abandoned. (I might have a victim mentality too lol, and narcissism tendencies).
I’m trying to make sense of my emotions but they just make me feel worse about myself. But I need to take accountability for my actions.
TLDR: I’m feeling bad over how things changed in my friendship and friend circle due to me expressing my feelings to this girl.

This is going take long pls read if u have time...I'M SORRY for this long ass story...pls give sm advice if u can tysm
Okay so there's this girl..I 19F now..idk how to mention her..we both were best friends since last 4 years(since 2020 April)we once used to go to same English tuition in std 7 which was in 2017 and continued till 2018 we were just regular normal friends...she was really quite and soft girl and talked nicely and seemed nice so we had our contact numbers exchanged ofc for study purposes but we were in diff schools back then..then after leaving this tuition we stopped contacting eo as we were really busy then suddenly lockdown happened and I posted a portrait of bts member which I sketched then she replied with that and we kept talking about kpop and bts for months and slowly grew really close and started understanding eo cuz were going thru some similar life shit and we grew so close that we literally called eo soulmies and kept contact nicknames we found it adoring..and we had similar pains and past traumas as well..we used to talk every single day from gm text to gn..we were eo's comfort place.
The funny thing was we talked sm that my mom grew so suspicious about it cuz I kept texting and it was some diff shit at my house like she grew to hate my friend...she even read our texts it made me mad for sure but I never let that thing grew apart us.
As time went we talked every single details to eo..she used to shower me with all the affection and attention I ever needed..wrote my text letters almost like an essay..it made me love her more and was grateful to have a friend like her finally in my life.
So after 10th std I decided to switch school to hers cuz I wanted humanities and it was not available in my school sadly so she really helped me cuz I didn't know anyone in that school she gave me contact numbers of her other friends who took humanities to help me out for the notes and subjects...we still adored eo sm I literally had started growing some diff kinda feelings for her??? She literally turned me bisexual for her..no like we literally texted eo that way and we weren't even embarrassed she liked me that way lmfao and I did too after I confessed to her
It was going fine till now until we goy busy with our studies..the lockdown was over..now it was time to attend school offline...I used to keep texting her every now and then,she used to reply in a couple hours then the couple hours turned into days and then to weeks slowly...I knew she was really very busy with her academics as an Pure science student and it was a lot of presa cuz she was pressurised by her Parents especially father that she has to crack jee and stuff and I rooted for her obviously I wanted the best for my beloved person to achieve good things so I hardly complained to her for not giving me time and attention cuz I knew she was working really hard for the academic validation...
And here's me..it's not that I didn't had my own studies..I too was busy going to school attending lectures and ofc trying my best to settle down with the new environment alone..I too had coaching for my design entrance exams it was tiring but i thoughti had a safe place while talking to her will make happ yand make me forget my stress but she hardly answered my texts so I stopped botheringhercuz she had her own stuffs and all and she the main thing was she never texted me first and never said what's going into her life until I forced her to say she never tried to reach me when she needed help..she never tried to even if I said come to me I'm always here to listen u out.
I thought going to her school would be easy for me cuz she'd be there for me but she didn't come to school in 11th grade whole as it was not compulsory for attending...I kept on requesting her throughout the session to attend school so that we could meet for once but she never came to school that year(we could never meet outside cuz we were too busy and she probably wouldn't make it). Then in the next year it became compulsory for seniors to attend school so she used to attend sometimes in a week..we used to meet in breaks or between class exchange times..she then confessed me that she's bi too smhw she's really shy about saying it to me it almost made me crack in person and that meant she liked me that way..I wasn't surprised ofc..it made my heart flutter eventually and happy...but then I said I'm over that phase buy not completely..idk she might have goy upset for that a bit
We were in good terms till then...until I heard one of her classmates said she has a boyfriend??? I thought they just don't know about her that's why they are saying these things and ignored and ofc I don't believe them..cuz if she had one she would say that to me obv..I'm the first person to know about it..then I asked directly to her that are they joking or u really have one? Then she said "I had" I was..I literally had no word I was so speechless that moment..I was dumbfounded...I got mad at her but for not too long cuz I can't be mad with her for a long time
Then the session came to an end...there was smthg I was kinda mad with her so I didn't gave her a hug thar last of our school but then little text talks made me relive my madness even tho we texted once in 4-5 months obviously I texted first and called twice 6 months if she wasn't busy. Then after passing out from school last year we FINALLY made a plan to hangout with eo at a book cafe...we loved reading novels so it was a right place for us to spend some good time...I missed her sooo fvckin much and we met..we discussed many things..I got to know we were having same current interests cuz we never texted in recent yrs..we still adored the same amount as before...um idk about her but atleast I loved her more and nothing changed..it was a beautiful day..it was also thr first time we clicked pics for the first together.
Then she slowly started replying more slowly like 2-3 weeks later it made me bother somewhere but I didn't mind that much still...it wasn't like wasn't busy or I had nothing to do I was struggling with colleges and exam preparations it was traumatising and I didn't reach out to her cuz she'd not answer me and I can't explain everything from the beginning and SMH it became tiring for me now since the month of October?? I had nowhere to vent myself but I kept those feelings to me and have some good online friends so I called her(online friend) and shared my life issues to relive but she wasn't there when I needed her just this way I used to text her few things sometimes about our mutual interests like what we are watching or reading lately to keep talking as an excuse..it got worse when she didn't replied to me within 2-3 days I used to dream about getting her notifications before waking her every day just to open my phone and see thar it was just a silly dream
Whenever I texted to her about why she ignores me like thar I felt anxious everytime and this dream stuffs happens to me then her texts were always sweet like " u are my only one...,I'll make up to u one day I'm sorry...I'm busy ....I'm having classes so I can't reach out to u ...I'm sorry baby...i ignore everyone's text I only text with u.." stuffs smhw made me convince..i only thought of her everyday..it made it come her in my dreams regularly...once I dreamt of us kissing eo it was so embarrassing to me...I couldn't process this...I texted to her and we had a long conversation of not saying what happened to us then I said u should confess first what she dreamt of and it was exactly similar to mine but she saw it like 6 months ago but was too embarrassed to tell me. It was a hilarious night fr..we talked sm just like old days we used to..idk what it really meant.
Anyways..February of this yr came me and my other 3 friends thr grp of 4 of std 12th made a plan to hangout with eo after almost an year cuz some of them went to college out of city..we met and talked stuffs and one of them was her(my bsf) friend who help me with notes and classes in first yr...she talked about her old friends and "my bsf" too like how she never texts to anyone she ignores everyone and how she was in her middle school with her friends how she betrayed her friend and stole her bf and was talking about if her friends were having boyfriends or not and then I confidently again said that "naah..shs is not like that i knoe her very well and she doesn't have any if she had she would tell me and she only talks to me" then we stopped talking about it then.And it is in my vocabulary to call my close friends as 'bro' "bhai" she replied with "don't bro me" as in she didn't want to get bro zoned lmfao it was cute.
Then I called my other friends after thr meet up day whom I haven't talked in few months I was free so..I called her too I thought she wouldn't pick up buy she surprisingly did and we talked for a good time..but it wasn't a good conversation...that time I got to know it wasn't what I actually used to think about her...after asking many times she said she had 2-3 exes..1 current that too it was kind of fake dating...and 1 girl crush...this call made me feel so drained,low,anxious and betrayed and she still claimed i don't call her and it was first time I felt uneasy talking to her so I cut the phone. Then valentines day came I was waiting for her to wish me...her notification made me so happy and texted me HVD really lovingly with a yellow rose pic she was holding I was ecstatic about it I wished her back..I thought that pic was from Pinterest but then I asked this Rose is so pretty "who gave it to u" in thr hope of getting the answer "I bought it", "I downloaded this pic" or smthg like thar but instead it was "my boyfriend gave me ...it was my first time receiving a rose" I was dumbfounded again...it made me feel kinda mad that the she never told me properly she had been in a relationship this all time..was it too much to deserve as a friend?ofc I'd be the happiest if she would be in a happy relationship with a man of her liking who made her happy...I wanted us to be Normal friends...but guess it was never...Anyways so I asked right after that "did u go on a date" she replied "yes" it was hard for me ask all these even though I didn't wanted to but still for her happiness I asked further " tell me everything about happened today gimme some tea" and then.....She left me on seen for fvckin 10 days straight..
I wanted to bash out to her It was my limit now I don't to keep being like this anymore...I wanted to get angry at her and say all my worries that how she has made me so traumatised lately but I just said 'I hate u' without saying much this time I was serious with this text but still seeing thar she didn't replied anything after seeing my text..and after few days she sent me picture of some fruit attached to it saying "baby can you draw this for me?" I was like 'huh??? Seriously ' u don't think we need to talk smthg??? I left her on seen after that until 3 months
I never stopped thinking about her idk..I say to myself I hate her buy still I can't get a hold of myself from thinking about her still every fvckin single day...
So I told her I now have a boyfriend cuz I thought I should let her even though she doesn't deserve to know about this but I'm not like her and texted to her aggressively these things.
Then on my birthday on April she texted me ''Happy birthday (my name)* lots of heart*" exactly at 00:00 . The fact that she never texted me with my name it really..it was not expected but expected..I thought this year she won't wish me even...I replied with just "thanks" which I never texted like with her I was mad tho..then I said "don't u have smthg else to say " she ignored that them I said "u can block me of u are done with me" after that I blocked her I felt really good but then after few days I unblocked her again..I kept dreaming of her like she'd apologise to me or text me anything but it is never happening.
My online and other friends recommended to ditch her block her after I shared this issue with them..I blocked her but couldn't resist myself to unblock .. There was never a day that I never thought about her it's sickening, I even cried sometimes..I want to hate her the amount of I loved her but I can't..we had so many future plans together as friends and goals I never thought of getting another person in my life at all..
I got so desperate today that In my half sleep I thought of texting her again so I texted her "do u hate me" after few mins I deleted it then she texted me back with " what did u delete " I didn't know what to say I was so nervous then after 3 hrs I replied back "nothing..I was half asleep " and she replied back after that so I deleted that as well
I keep on thinking about her more than my own bf and I still can't love him the way I love her it's so complicated I don't know what I'm doing...I feel isolated and anxious and EMPTY without her...I hate her sm but I need her...
Sorry it was me ranting my boring ass issues... If u have read till the end thank you sm and help me out with this if u can.!!

Sorry for the long post, So I’m 25M and my gf 25F, we have been in a relationship for well over a year since final yr of clg. Now we are in long distance. I have a problem with her talking to 2 dudes. Both our classmates and both of whom I hate. One of those dudes 25M has been her bestie for maybe 3 years. They have been hanging out all through college and comfortable roaming around with just the two of them, my gf and himself. The rest of class have always been touting them as a couple but in final year my gf and I started to get to know each other and we hit it off instantly. I had a huge problem with her friendship with this guy so I asked her to explain what he meant to her. She replied he was nothing more than a friend and not someone she hopes to keep in touch with once clg was over and also promised me that she would stop talking to him once clg was over. But even if my gf has put efforts to reduce interaction with him, he constantly tries to text her or make a conversation with her on the phone with random excuses. My gf allows it and doesn’t ignore him. I am getting really worked up when she talks like that. Recently we were fighting about her talking to him on the phone when I was already upset with something else. (The something else was that she talked to the other guy I mentioned of the 2 the morning and ignored my calls citing she was with her parents at the time). Her logic is it’s easy to talk to a friend than a bf in front of her parents. But her parents know we’re in a relationship. She was initially talking calmly about it but I was still pissed and asked her if she couldn’t spare a few minutes to text me at that time. She was agitated and said “no I won’t”. (But there have been multiple instances where she has texted me with her parents next to her). When she said she won’t I got pissed and I dropped the call. She immediately blocked me. Then things cooled down later that day.
The next day we were talking as we normally would and she mentioned she talked to the first guy the previous day immediately after she blocked me because he had given a missed call earlier it seems. I got so furious and I was yelling at her. She said if you have a problem then step aside & leave and blocked me again. Later I blocked her too and remained that way for a day.
The next day she called from a different number and asked me to unblock so we can talk. I did and when she started talking she said she wanted to end it. I was arguing saying why I blocked her for an entire day. I felt disrespectful when she asked me to leave when I got pissed that she talked to that guy. But she was trying to tell me I asked only to step aside from the problem not break up with me blah blah. I couldn’t believe her then we were continually arguing about this guy. Because we have already had countless fights about this guy and before we came to an agreement that she always be transparent about what they talk. And usually if it pisses me off she would try to calm me down. But this time she just asked me to leave and blocked me. She also accused me of being controlling that I’m not letting her talk to any guy but its just these two guys whom I have a problem with. Now she says she cannot stand me and she wants to end it. She says she will talk to this guy whenever she feels like and I don’t get a say in it.
So what do I do now ? Am I being controlling of her ? Is my possessiveness valid in this scenario ? Because she says it isn’t
Thank you for helping me out !

Okay I need advice…To start off with this story. I graduated high school last year and as soon as I turned 18 I got on Seeking. Honestly I don’t come from money and I was headed to college soon my dads a single dad so I decided to find a way to pay for school. It wasn’t my best idea but I did it. I also was a virgin at the time and had a lot of guys texting me. I was going to meet this other guy the day I met my now current boyfriend/sugar daddy. But the other guy ended up getting drunk so I met up with my now bf. Our age gap is pretty big I was a month into being 18 and he was 48. We met up at this hotel in my town and as soon as I got there I regretted it. He was friendly and I was very shy around him. Right after we had sex I went to the restroom and made up something about how my dad was asking where I was at it was like two am. I left the room and went to my car and cried I felt so ashamed that I could do something like that. As soon as I got home I showered and blocked him on everything. A week goes by and I tell one of my good friends and we went to Walgreens to get a plan b just to be safe. I realized soon after that I kind of enjoyed it in a way so I unblocked him and we met up again. When he first messaged me he was offering $XXX a week but he only would give me $XXX max. I was a little annoyed but naive. I quickly realized he wanted a relationship out of this whereas I wanted a sugar daddy only. I’m in college and I have no time for a relationship. I also had never been in a serious relationship so I became very attached to him. I would rant about past ex bfs and how I would miss them and I guess he got annoyed and started it doing it back to me. In the beginning I only saw him as a sugar daddy so I would post pictures of myself in bikinis and he would get mad at me but I wouldn’t care because he didn’t mean anything to me at the time. After a while I slowly fell in love with him I was shooked because he was old and I was young. Around this time one my siblings were getting skeptical about how I was getting money when I bark worked and went to school. She soon found out and outed me to my whole family. For a week straight my family would call me all sorts of names and that was definitely a low point for me. I was feeling really bad at the time and wanted to run away with him. I later found out he was watching porn behind my back and I felt so mad and sad at the same time. How could he have me and watch those things I thought. He swore to me that he would not do it again and he watched it when he was younger so I guess he kind of got addicted to it in a way. I forgave him and we went on with our relationship. We’ve since been together for almost a year. About two months ago I saw him in many girls likes and follows. They would post there body’s and everything. Not shaming that because I used to do that I was upset with my bf because he would get mad at me and call me insecure when I would do it but liked pictures of other girls doing it. I confronted him about it and he said he was sorry and that he wouldn’t do it again. Fast forward to last week I was hanging out with him and I kept checking my phone thinking my dad was going to call because I sneaked out to see him. My bf got suspicious and told me to open up my phone so I did. I showed him my messages and snap and he saw that a guy friend had sent me a streak. He was so upset and saying why I was texting another guy. I told him it was a exchange student friend I met in high school and I had a streak with him to keep in touch he was really mad and so I tried to apologize and comfort him. After he said he forgave me and then he got on his phone. Keep in mind he never lets me get on his phone. He owns his own business and he says he doesn’t want me to see his business plans as if I would know what to do with them. I went to his instagram messages and he snatches his phone after he does that I grab it from him and see he texted this girl that had her arch pic as her profile pic. She had slid up on his story and said baeee where he replied with what she said that he had tooken a long time to reply where he said a little:) with a smiley face. I was furious I had drove over and hour to see him and I got my things and I was crying hysterically. He told me he was sorry but somehow blamed it on me. He started yelling at me and saying if you think I want that whore then leave. I was like wtf you texted her back and I’m the one getting shouted at. I later forgave him but now I feel like I let it be okay for so long he’ll just do it again. I’m so in love with him and I don’t want to leave him. I would like someone different to see it in another perspective. Did he make mistakes that I should just forgive or should I just leave now?

I need to start alerting this will be a long post, also english is not my first language so please forgive any typos, always trying to improve.
Alright, this is a long story. It all started in december of 2021, i was 17 (female]), i was doing some exams and my mom was in a child's party of her nephew's son. This nephew (my cousin duh), who i will call T, have a long term friend, E. The thing is, E has a son, who we will be calling Rat (because that's what he is), 18 years old. Rat and i knew each other from childhood, when we were 9, he even asked me to be his girlfriend, but we lost contact after that and both pretty much forgot the existence of one another. But my mom, in this party, decided to chat with E and Rat, and talked about me to Rat, who remembered me and got interested. He started to follow me on insta and we start to chat on whatsapp.
After only a few days talking, we decded to go out with a bunch of his friends, and in that night we kissed. After that, everything moved on really fast, we talked non-stop all day. 12 days after the kiss, he asked me to be his girlfriend. Yes, i know, i was stupid to accept it, but i was a naive girl, i did not have proper teen years because of the pandemic, and this with the "childhood boyfriend appears again" narrative, it was set for disaster since the start.
We started dating, the first month was magical, i am from the southern hemisphere, here january means vacation on the beach, and we spent a week together there. I lost my v-card with him in the beach also. It was good, his family was a bit weird, but i was dating him not his family right?
Things started going south after february, my birthday was in that month, he spent the party with me. Also, any oportunity we had to have sex, we did it, at first it was exciting, but after sometime, i just wanted some cuddles with my boyfriend without ending in sex, you know what i mean? But i couldn't bring myself to say it. Then the fights started. This was my first relationship, but it was Rat's 6th. Yeah big red flag that i also ignored, he also talked about all of his previous exes, everything, how they met, how the sex was, what went wrong, there was even one particular ex that he said "i think, if i hadn't been an asshole, i would still be together with her nowadays" LIKE BRO WTF???????
The fights were bad, like really bad, he would abuse my mental health to the edges, giving me silent treatment for days, texting dryly, if i met him, he would stare me with a face that it immediately made me hyperventilate. And everything resolved to me asking for forgiveness, but not only after i bawled my eyes out, harm myself (i would scratch my whole arms with my nails), and have panic attacks. He punished me like that, at least 2/3 times a month. But at the same time, every month he celebrated one more month of our relationships, posting long detailed texts about it in his stories, like really detailed, i felt exposed, our relationship had no privacy because of that. Butagain i did not feel in the right to complain, how many girls beg for one photo posted on stories? and i was receiving long texts, i shouldn't complain, right?
In the fourth month of the relationship, he was in a hurry to have sex, and tried to put it inside right away, i wasn't ready, i was still kind of dry, and the result of it was an vaginal fissure, please google about it for a proper description from a professional. It hurt like hell, it was one of the worst pains in my life, he immediatly pulled it out but the damage was done. Vaginal fissures can't fully heal, so to this day i still need to pay attention to it while having sex with my current partner. He said sorry a million times, none of us knew what was that at the time. I couldn't have sex for a month, and that got him frustated, he was trying not to show it, but it was obvious.
I will spare you all from some details in the next two months, because of the size of the text. The fights continued, and in the sixth and final month he abused me mentally through all of it, threatening with a break up. I lost 8 kg (about 17 pounds) in just 2/3 weeks, my ideal weight for my height is 60 kg (132 pouns) and i was exactly 60 kg before losing the 8 kg, so i was underweight, pale, i looked like a cadaver. Then he broke up with me for good, and i cried for days and days. After one week, he was alread posting stories going out with another girl, and i started going to the psychiatrist, who gave me two meds, an antidepressant and one for sleep. I was drugged with these two meds all the time, they were really strong, and the Rat knew that, he still kept touch with me, and he knew about the meds and my mental state.
Still knowing all of this, he still suggested to come in my house one day, when my mom wasn't around, and ww hook up. I was not in a mental state to say no, i was emotional dependent of him, full on meds, so i consented (even if my friends to this day say it was not consensual). We kept that for around 4 months, until he posted with another girl, calling her his girlfriend, and canceling the plans of coming to my house the very next day of the post. I was in shambles, i almost killed myself, i SHed myself multiple times, i wasn't sane.
I decided to stop seeing his posts, but even after starting dating this girl (Let's call her chaos, you'll understand why), he still contacted me regularly. Keep in mind this is like, already december 2022, one year after we started dating. In january 2023, i was feeling a bit back in my feet, despite he still contacting me while dating another girl. He never cheated her with me, never. In february i was accepted in the college of my dreams, he congratulated me. This college was a life changer, i became another person there, i was happier, i had new friends, i went to parties, 2023 was the best year of my life so far. He still contacted me sometimes, until like june, when i was finally fully aware of what he did to me, when he tried to contact me again, i blocked him, in everything, but i heard he was talking about me, because people told me. Reminding, he was in a relationship!!!
Ok, let's move to april 2024, i receive a dm from a girl i know, telling me the Rat asked her to say he was single again. I send her an audio with the most genuine laughter i left in YEARS. I told her i don't want any contact with him and she respected it and didn't push any further. Now, last week, may 15th, i receive an audio in whatsapp from a girl, it was an audio of the Rat, saying he wanted to see me "one last time" before going to live in another city next week. I was baffled, this girl insisted a bit, sending more audios he sent her to me. So i unblocked him, telling him to stop sending me "emissaries" to speak in his behalf, if he was blocked on everything it was for a reason. He tried to persuade me in meeting with him for "one last talk" but i refused, he said he missed me and he needed to see me one last time. I blocked him again.
Remember Chaos? That's when it clicked me, if i refused, he was probably going after her, so i found a friend me and Chaos had in common (i never spoke or met her in person before) and i asked the friend to warn her about the Rat. But Chaos wanted to chat with me, so i agreed. We started to chat, she asked some questions, apparently, she didn't know about all the times the Rat contacted me in 2023 while they were dating. She said she considers this as cheating, and i agree honestly. Anyways, that same day she discovered all of this from me, she called him for a talk in person. She exposed him about all his lies, he tried to get out lying more, but she was clever, she called him nothing more than a boy, not a man, a liar, and said he was just like his father (his father cheated on his mom and he hates his father). She left him broken, told him he was a product of a very bad sex.
But Chaos did not stopped her revenge there, she called me again, asking if i could go to a bar with her for some drinks. I agree, she wanted gossip, the two of us together, in our small town would give her that. We went to a bar, a bunch of his friends were there and saw us, eyes wide open. Not being so humble now, we are both very pretty women, i must say. We decided to drink, celebrating the rat going far away to another city. Then the rat appeared, joining his friends. We ignored him and continue driking and chatting. She is very nice, funny and a joy to talk, we talked for hours, with him staring us the whole time, he even sent a message to her saying "i hope you're having the fun you wanted so badly with this" and she laughed out loud when she read it, aswering "yeah it's amazing thanks!" And then she sent a pic of me and her, saying "consider this a farewell gift".
I was an amazing night, i felt like i was finally avenged, not only myself but all the girls that came before me and suffered in his hand. Chaos was fullfilled, he also abused her mentally, but she is a strong women and gave it back to him in the same energy, i wish i wasn't so fragile after my own break up with him, i wish i had been stronger like her, she is impressive.
Now me and her are messaging every person we know from the city he is currently moving in, talking about the abuser he is, alerting as many women as possible about him, because I don't wish it on anyone what us and many other women in my city suffered in his hands. Also i warned him if he ever tried to contact me again i will leak all of the prints of him abusing me verbally in texts, and the first person to read it all will be his mommy.
Thank you for reading this rant, i feel much lighter now, i feel free.

11-minute read.

Armenia's military industry is developing

HOST: The share of the domestic arms industry in the armed forces has been rising in recent years. The state has decided to create easier conditions for the development of the industry.
HIGH-TECH MINISTER (Mkhitar Hayrapetyan): Whatever is possible to produce in Armenia with the use of Armenian scientific potential and manufacturing capacities should be done domestically to minimize reliance on imports. The myth that Armenian producers are incapable of creating high-quality products has been shattered.
At the moment, there are ֏170 billion ($438 million) in contracts signed between the defense ministry and 27 representatives of domestic industry. We expect to bring it to ֏190 billion ($490 million) by the end of this year by involving two more companies.
Most contracts are about communication tools, control systems, radio-electronic warfare tools, drones, modernization activities, etc.
LEONID NERSISYAN (expert): It's not a secret that hefty investments were made in the manufacturing of drones. We've also seen a production of 122 mm and 82 mm shells; it's necessary to expand to 155 mm because we are purchasing new [Indian] artillery that uses those.
HIGH-TECH MINISTER: (1) The state is enacting legislative reforms to make the industry attractive for investments. (2) We are promoting R&D for new technologies and the generation of new ideas. We are financing research activities, the creation of prototypes, and their experimentation. The chain ends when a company's product passes the state experimentation process and enters serial production.
HOST: In 2018 the scientific-research budget was ֏2.4B. Today it's ֏4.1B ($10.6M), with an additional ֏1.5B dedicated for prototypes.
MHER MARKOSYAN (expert): We need more laser tech experts. The state must cherish mil. industry employees and encourage young scientists to gain experience.
HIGH-TECH MINISTER: As part of the 2024 budget, we do have a component to train and retrain industry experts. New specialists must enter this industry.
MHER MARKOSYAN: The war in Ukraine has made it more difficult to import components. Something that would normally take 1 week now requires 5 months. There are also horrible logistics problems. We do find solutions to import products but these solutions are expensive.
LEONID NERSISYAN: Even countries under the UN's embargo are able to import weapons so it's a matter of price. For example, it turns out that 70% of the electronics inside North Korean missiles are American.
HOST: Some Armenian manufacturers have reached international levels and could soon begin to export their products. However, there are logistic complications here as well. For example, in 2021 Armenia faced difficulty transporting the mockups of larger weapons to the Abu Dhabi expo [Moscow forced the jet carrying Armenian products to be unloaded and kept delaying the cargo's transfer to Abu Dhabi].
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the National Academy of Sciences has received a device that uses powerful lasers to melt metal and ceramic dust to create 3D objects for space and other industries: VIDEO

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India's Ambassador about defense cooperation between India and Armenia

AMBASSADOR: Our defense cooperation is proceeding very well. Defense cooperation is not only defense technical cooperation, but also we are looking at capacity building. On both fronts, we are proceeding very well.
REPORTER: During a joint press conference with MOD Papikyan, the Greek Minister spoke about the possibility of Armenia-Greece-France-India quadrilateral cooperation in the defense area.
AMBASSADOR: All 4 states have very good relations but at the moment it is still premature to talk about a quadrilateral format. But yes, there are convergences.
REPORTER: The Indian government said it's going to appoint Defense Attachés to Armenia and several other countries to strengthen the military links. What can you tell us about this?
AMBASSADOR: PM Modi has a very clear-cut policy and initiative of “Make in India”, including in the defense sector. We are now seeing that many countries in the world are buying Indian defense equipment. Defense Attachés are being posted to coordinate the process.

... India's Ambassador about AM-IN economic ties and trade

REPORTER: What was the volume of trade last year, and what trends are seen in the bilateral export and import markets?
AMBASSADOR: The $200 million trade we made was far below the potential. India is the Pharmacy of the World with more than 60% of the vaccines worldwide coming from India, including those supplied through the WHO and other mechanisms like GAVI. So we see more potential here. Both sides are working towards increasing the import of Indian medicines and vaccines into Armenia. We are also looking at the high-tech sector.

... India's Ambassador about Pashinyan's "Crossroads of Peace" trade unblocking project

REPORTER: The Government of Armenia proposed the “Crossroads of Peace” logistics project. There were opinions that it matches with India’s vision in the South Caucasus. What is India’s opinion on this initiative?
AMBASSADOR: When countries need to prosper, connectivity is the key. And connectivity is something that we, in our own region, have been working very closely with our neighboring countries. So similarly, we find that for any region, if you want to move to the next level of prosperity, you need to have connectivity projects. Naturally, we see this “Crossroads of Peace” project of the Armenian government in that light, that it would be a win-win situation for all the regional partners. So indeed for us there is no other way than to have more connections between countries, whether it is in terms of roads, railways, etc. We look at it positively and enthusiastically.

... India's Ambassador about international trade through Iran's Chabahar port

REPORTER: India plays an important role in the development of Chabahar port. You mentioned that the prospects of facilitating the use of Chabahar port for Armenia are being considered as well. What are those possibilities?
AMBASSADOR: The Chabahar port is jointly developed by India and Iran. In our discussions with the Armenian side, they have manifested an interest in using the Chabahar port. Armenia's Minister of Territorial Administration visited the Chabahar port in December. We are waiting for the details from the Armenian side and we will consider it once we receive concrete proposals.
REPORTER: What role can Armenia play in the development of a communication route from India to Chabahar to the Black Sea?
AMBASSADOR: This goes back to my comment about connectivity. Armenia being a landlocked country definitely needs more connectivity projects. If it materializes, I think it would help Armenia to overcome the fact that it is a landlocked country.
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experts at the European Training Foundation will assess Armenia's secondary vocational education system

The European Training Foundation is a European Union agency that helps transition and developing countries harness the potential of their human capital through the reform of education, training and labour market systems, and in the context of the EU's external relations policy.

A group of experts have arrived for the May 21-23 assessment. They will hold consultations with state agencies, students, employee unions, and others.

by 2030, 90 percent of school and college graduates should be able to find jobs and work according to employers' requirements.

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Yerevan and Paris reached an agreement to cooperate in urbanization, transport, and waste management over the next 3 years during a visit by Yerevan Mayor Avinyan to Paris

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Yerevan subway is diching Soviet-era physical zhetons (tokens) as part of transport reforms and switch to a universal payment system

OFFICIAL: We are updating a total of 49 entrance gates; it will be completed next month. You'll be able to use the old gates with tokens for now. Soon you will pay with a QR code, Telcell mobile wallet, bank cards, etc. ... last week over 15,000 passengers used the electronic payment methods.
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Yerevan municipality launches a process to move garbage containers underground

A public tender is launched to design a pilot program. In October the city said they studied the international practice for collecting the trash from underground bins and found two methods: lifting the bins to allow Yerevan's existing tech to collect the trash, or remove the bins. The latter would be more expensive.
video, video,

government launches the construction of two roads for Tavush border village Kirants: VIDEO

PASHINYAN OFFICE: The 3 remaining coordinates of Kirants were pinpointed with the use of a computer and the border posts will be installed later. The rest [another 8 posts in Kirants] are already there. The good news for Kirants is that around 25 hectares of land that have been unreachable for 33 years will be returned to the village. The border resembles the 1976 line.
As we said earlier, yes, there is a need to build a bypass road, which can be accomplished in 2-3 months. We will also rebuild the road between H-26 and Acharkut and Kirants, which is an alternative road for Kirants. As for property issues, the volumes are small and the government will compensate in such situations. //
The 3 remaining border posts were reportedly installed in Kirants on Monday. Here is how the road issue will be addressed:
Azerbaijan is located between Kirants and Sarigyugh villages. Kirants is currently connected to Sarigyugh with two roads: a direct connection through the interstate road, and a secondary road that connects Kirants to nearby Acharkut before reaching Sarigyugh.
Approximately 300 meters of the direct road falls under the Azerbaijani side, so the government will build a 750-meter bypass road parallel to it. Preliminary construction activities have begun; they are working on the details.
As for the secondary road passing through Acharkut, the government has begun rebuilding and widening it to allow cargo trucks to use it.
So there are currently two construction projects, with one connecting Kirants to Sarigyugh directly, and the second connecting Kirants to Sarigyugh through Acharkut. Both roads are expected to be ready in 3 months.
video, source, video, source, source, video,

Final battle? The opposition co-leader Bagrat Galstanyan will hold a "decisive" massive rally on May 26 to oust PM Pashinyan

GALSTANYAN: Պատմե’ք մարդկանց մայիսի 26-ի մեր հանրահավաքի մասին, այն վճռական է լինելու: //
Former mayor of Yerevan Hayk Marukyan called for Pashinyan and the ruling party to resign. "այլևս անելիք չունեն, նրանք պետք է հեռանան"
source, source,

Serj Sargsyan's HHK party co-leader is against forming an anti-Pashinyan alliance with Edmon Marukyan and Sasna Tsrer

Edmon Marutyan's LHK, Ruben Vardanyan's Aprelu Yerkir, and the Sasna Tsrer (BEVER) whose followers committed terrorists attacks on police stations in 2016 and 2024 have decided to join the ongoing anti-Pashinyan protests led by Kremlin's favorite Archbishop Bagrat Galstanyan.
HHK's Edward Sharmazanov is against forming an alliance with Edmon Marukyan's LHK because they did not actively campaign against Pashinyan's reelection in 2021.
As for Sasna Tsrer, they committed attacks on police stations and called HHK "evil", so Sharmazanov is against working with them.
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update: threats after bribes

One of the several low-income residents of Vanadzor who last week reported receiving bribes to join the former regime's ongoing anti-Pashinyan protests says someone called and threatened their family for reporting the bribe to the police. Authorities are investigating the call.
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a fight broke out between protesters and students who refused to join the "Holy Struggle" led by Archbishop Galstanyan

AUTHORITIES: On Wednesday we received reports about a fight between the students of Yerevan's Manuk Abeghyan School and protesters. The participants engaged in a fight, disturbed peace, and used slurs. Eight students (all under 18 except for one) were detained.
SCHOOL DIRECTOR: It started after a group of protesters used loudspeakers to encourage our students to join them. After realizing that students didn't want to join, they began to hurl insults at the students. Several students left the building and a fight broke out in the backyard.
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82,000 Armenian drivers take advantage of a new law that absolves them of old citation debt if they pay 50%: VIDEO

It was part of a package law that slashes the size of future traffic citations by almost half if the driver pays electronically within the first two weeks of the violation. Some 21,000 drivers have already signed up at police.am to get a discount on their future citations.
It's meant to reduce the financial burden on drivers, the paperwork burden on police, and improve the payment discipline.
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Armenian poet and 18th century TikToker Sayat-Nova's statue is unveiled in Turkmenistan during an international forum of Culture Ministers: PHOTO

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Armenia circulates gold collector coin dedicated to Charles Aznavour’s 100th anniversary: IMAGE

Obverse: monument to Charles Aznavour in Gyumri
Reverse: portrait of Charles Aznavour, the number 100 in the form of stylized musical notes, piano keys and microphone.
Minted in Poland. The coin is worth ֏10,000 ($25).
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International Criminal Court wants to arrest Israeli PM Benjamin Netanyahu and Defense Minister Gallant, and the Hamas leadership

PROSECUTOR: On the basis of evidence collected and examined by my Office, I have reasonable grounds to believe that Benjamin NETANYAHU, the Prime Minister of Israel, and Yoav GALLANT, the Minister of Defence of Israel, bear criminal responsibility for the following war crimes and crimes against humanity committed on the territory of the State of Palestine (in the Gaza strip) from at least 8 October 2023:
(1) Starvation of civilians as a method of warfare as a war crime
(2) Willfully causing great suffering, or serious injury to body or health
(3) Willful killing, or Murder as a war crime
(4) Intentionally directing attacks against a civilian population as a war crime
(5) Extermination and/or murder, including in the context of deaths caused by starvation, as a crime against humanity;
(6) Persecution as a crime against humanity
(7) Other inhumane acts as crimes against humanity
full statement, official video 4:57, source,

Iran's President Raisi and Foreign Minister Amirabdollahian die in a helicopter crash while returning from a meeting with Ilham Aliyev to inaugurate the opening of a new dam on the Iran-Azerbaijan border

Shortly before the crash:
RAISI: Maybe someone doesn't like our meeting and joint successes with Azerbaijan. It doesn't matter to us. The important thing is that we implement together whatever is in the best interest of our people. The enemies do not want progress in Azerbaijan and Iran, but we believe that any progress in Azerbaijan is our progress, any threat to the borders of both countries will be a loss for both countries.
ALIYEV: Today the world is witnessing how great the friendship is between Azerbaijan and Iran. We support each other in all international structures and will continue to in the future. No one can divide us. //
Memorial services will be held in Yerevan's Blue Mosque on Thursday.
source, source, source, source, source, Kremlin's conspiracists, source, source,

Azerbaijani dissident activist Arif Yunusov about Iran helicopter crash

REPORTER: Will there be radical changes in Iran after the death of Raisi?
YUNUSOV: I doubt it. The real power is in the hands of Khamenei. Now there are reports about his son [replacing him in the future]. As for the internal disturbances caused by opponents, as you know, there are periodic waves in Iran. These protests are sometimes ethnicity-based. If in the past it was Azerbaijanis, today the protests are by Kurds. There is also the youth that's tired of being ruled by religious mullahs. The death of Raisi doesn't change anything in internal or foreign policies. They will just change the President's last name.
REPORTER: I have a feeling Iran will soon blame Israel for the helicopter crash.
YUNUSOV: I have already seen that on Iranian Telegram channels but official Tehran won't rush with that. They will conduct an investigation and conclusions will be made. If Tehran blames Israel, then there must be good evidence for it because credit where credit is due - Iran usually conducts such investigations quite well. If you remember the liquidation of the father of Iran's nuclear weapons, Israel still denies participation but Iran found enough evidence that Israeli agents used the territory of Azerbaijan to infiltrate, carry out the project, and return through Azerbaijan. Let's wait and see the conclusion of the crash investigation. The accusations by Telegram channels and analysts "don't count".

... Arif Yunusov about AM-AZ border delimitation

REPORTER: Is the ongoing Tavush-Gazakh delimitation really a bilateral process, as Baku claims?
YUNUSOV: No. The U.S. is still interested in the delimitation process and influences both parties behind the curtains. There was a high-profile Azerbaijani visit to Washington. Although the official press release didn't share details, we can safely assume they discussed the AM-AZ relations. If this delimitation continues in spite of Russia that means the U.S. is currently a moderator in this process. This is not purely a bilateral process despite Aliyev's efforts to present it that way.
REPORTER: Is the U.S. a guarantor that the delimitation won't end in Tavush?
YUNUSOV: Not a "guarantor" but the U.S. is the force that is really trying to accomplish something and is actually doing something. The full demarcation will last a long time. The main objective of the U.S. at the moment is the signing of an AM-AZ peace agreement. I don't think they'll be able to sign it before November, however.
REPORTER: How is the Azerbaijani public reacting to the border delimitation?
YUNUSOV: Positively. People truly want to have a demarcated border. The Azerbaijani regime often mentioned "Western Azerbaijan" and the return of Azeris there, but in reality, nobody in Azerbaijan took that seriously because they all understood it was an attempt to pressure Armenia. As soon as information came that the border was partially delimited, it was met with a positive response by the public. The Azerbaijani public understands that it's normal for Azerbaijan to gain and lose control of territories during this process, just as we did during the delimitation with other neighbors.
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I am 24F, I met someone 6 years ago. I fell in love at first sight. He was studying at a college in my hometown then. In 2019 he graduated and left the city and moved to Bangalore. In the meantime he never confirmed if we were dating, he would say he likes me, I am his best friend and what not. He even met other women and spoke to them. But he wouldn’t like if I would talk to other men. He used to travel 29 kms to city to meet me. He would admit that he liked me. But in the end in 2019 while he was moving out, things didn’t end well. Just like that, in 2020 I got into a college in Bangalore for my Post grad, right after I graduated in 2020. Little did I know, we met again. It felt good. It was covid time going, we met in 2021 and then we spent quite a good time together. He again never admitted that he liked me or not. Finally we planned a trip a hill station near Bangalore, but he blocked me right after the trip for no reason. He would block and unblock back then at college too and it was too much efforts for me to email him to unblock me. Then, my college was ending in 2022 and I was joining job. We somehow again got in touch. But this time, he was extra nice, but then he fell sick as well. I was home for sometime post my college, before joining job. He said we will party and asked me to get JD, as alcohol is cheap at my hometown. I remember I was coming out of my tech park, and I was happy it was first day at work, I texted him to meet with the bottle, suddenly he said he is seeing someone else. He asked me 2 days back if I am coming and meeting him and in 2 days things changed.
It was traumatising. I am still not able to recover. Could he communicate things and had been more precise? So it could have avoided a lot of it?

I am 24F, I met someone 6 years ago. I fell in love at first sight. He was studying at a college in my hometown then. In 2019 he graduated and left the city and moved to Bangalore. In the meantime he never confirmed if we were dating, he would say he likes me, I am his best friend and what not. He even met other women and spoke to them. But he wouldn’t like if I would talk to other men. He used to travel 29 kms to city to meet me. He would admit that he liked me. But in the end in 2019 while he was moving out, things didn’t end well. Just like that, in 2020 I got into a college in Bangalore for my Post grad, right after I graduated in 2020. Little did I know, we met again. It felt good. It was covid time going, we met in 2021 and then we spent quite a good time together. He again never admitted that he liked me or not. Finally we planned a trip a hill station near Bangalore, but he blocked me right after the trip for no reason. He would block and unblock back then at college too and it was too much efforts for me to email him to unblock me. Then, my college was ending in 2022 and I was joining job. We somehow again got in touch. But this time, he was extra nice, but then he fell sick as well. I was home for sometime post my college, before joining job. He said we will party and asked me to get JD, as alcohol is cheap at my hometown. I remember I was coming out of my tech park, and I was happy it was first day at work, I texted him to meet with the bottle, suddenly he said he is seeing someone else. He asked me 2 days back if I am coming and meeting him and in 2 days things changed.
It was traumatising. I am still not able to recover. Could he communicate things and had been more precise? So it could have avoided a lot of it?

Long story short. Had the best relationship of my life with my ex and never had any significant issues. Never argued until the end. We broke up after college because she didn’t want to move where I got a good job(I was upset at this originally but she made the right decision) I hooked up with a mutual friend which I regret now. She then hooked up with an old fling and said that she still saw us getting back together.
She is now dating this guy and blocked me for a while after reaching out in December saying she wanted to get back with me and break up with him. She then blocked me and unblocked me just a month ago for our birthday. I think k am still unblocked but we haven’t talked really since December.
I would like to get back with her or at least be friends. We were best friends and it’s a big hole in my life to not talk to her. Moreso it suck’s not getting closure knowing she wanted to get back with me but then changed her mind didn’t tell me why and blocked me for so long. She is not a bad person so please don’t say she is a toxic person or anything like that. Genuinely the most loving person I’ve met. I guess I am just looking to see how to get closure. I don’t want to reach out to her because I feel like she would reach out if she wants to talk. Any advice would be helpful.

So my humidity indoors oscillates like grandmas fan. It swings from 47 at the end of the AC cycle to 65 by the time the AC turns back on(in a 15 min time span).
I know it’s not my AC because I’ve changed my central AC unit 3 times in a year.
Once I even shut off the central unit and put a window AC in my bedroom. Same thing.
I spoke to an AC instructor at the local college and he suggested that I have a problem with humidity entering my home.
I have no water leaks(read meter didn’t use water for 48 hours and meter was at the same reading)
I had extra insulation blown into my attic. They blocked soffit vents. I’ve tried to unblock them but could that be the issue to why the humidity in my house goes so high.
Also when cold fronts blow through and the air outside is dry my humidity levels will drop to the teens even without having heat on.
My point is that when it’s dry and cool outside my humidity levels are great. When it heats up and the humidity is high outside it’s humid inside my home too.
This just started a couple of years ago. Never noticed any of these issues before. My old central AC unit went out. Had a new one installed and within 2 weeks noticed this problem.
I’ve had a whole house dehumidifier installed but I feel like that’s just a bandage on the problem. Plus around 4-5pm the heat that the dehumidifier puts out fights with my AC and the AC is struggling to cool the house. Also at that time the humidity spikes to the low to mid 60s.
I’m in Deep South Texas if that helps. Any advice is greatly appreciated

I graduate tomorrow with my twin. I may not be a valedictorian or anything, but I’m still proud of myself for all of my hard work and perseverance throughout the years. I managed to graduate with honors: magna cum laude, and I think it’s a pretty great achievement. I will also be going to a pretty good university with a 45% acceptance rate, which I also think is a pretty good achievement. But during a time that should be about me and my twin, my family decides to feud and I keep getting screwed over.
Starting off, I just need to vent about how unfair it is for twins during graduation season. I’m about to graduate. I don’t need “congrats grad” merchandise, especially with my grad year on it. At least I can pass down the stuff without a glaring “2024” printed on the front. I can’t speak for all grads, but all I want is money to save or spend for my dorm decor. I don’t mean to sound selfish, but all I have gotten was a $5 makeup bag, 6 water bottles with some saying indicating I’m a 2024 grad on it, and some random gift card for $15 for a bunch of places that aren’t even in my local area. Like??? I get I’m a twin and paying double gets expensive, but my parents gave your child and their older sibling $50. On top of that, college tuition is not cheap. No one who isn’t a twin will never understand. I have been screwed over my entire life, and when I finally thought I was gaining independence, people go and do this.
Now to the juicy stuff: family drama!! My life is not the best, but I am grateful for the people in it that actually care for me. Then you have people like my brother, who is ten years older than me, married, has a kid that I haven’t seen in over a year, and still acts like a child. I swear he has some dominance fetish because he is always looking for people to play “following the leader” with. He likes submissive people that essentially bow down to him at every whim and feel grateful when he graces them with forgiveness. When you are graced with his forgiveness after apologizing for something you didn’t do or after being deemed worthy, you can go skip with him in the flower field and pretend like nothing happened. He is arrogant, selfish, and the ultimate narcissist. If you can’t tell, I somewhat hate him, though it wasn’t always like this. My twin and I actually used to adore him before he went psycho, which probably fed his fetish. The reason for his current behaviors is a long story I shall save for another time. Basically, he hates me because I’m not submissive and he doesn’t like that, which is why he likes my twin more because she is very shy and can be taken advantage of very easily. I don’t put up with that, but I am still a girl that can experience emotions of sensitivity and such. Recently, I have actually thrown up after deliberating over this whole situation on repeat on top of graduating, finding a roommate, having feelings that I can’t imagine myself in the future, financial issues, my already present anxiety and depression, having my family constantly confide in me as the “calm one,” etc. It all piles up and it is so mentally draining that I broke. To top it all off, my twin invited this monster to our graduation without my consent. But of course I would have no say. He actually called her today after she told him that she wanted to move forward from this pettiness and visit him with our mom, dad, and me. He had a stipulation: it was either us, the twins, or no one. He is such a coward. Claiming that our poor mother is brainwashing us without even considering the fact that I’m perfectly capable of forming my own beliefs. Our mother loves us all to a fault, and he loves to take advantage of her on repeat by constantly toying with her emotions (for example, he would only unblock her on social media if he wanted her to see something then block her again; he would claim that she is brainwashing us; he called her a narcissist and monster that abused him when he was a kid - total and complete lie by the way. He lived a perfectly comfortable life and had his Xbox taken away once but I digress). Anyways, he basically does not want to come to our graduation, and I am so tempted to send him a very angry message. The only thing that is stopping me are the consequences of my actions in a heated moment since I don’t know if this text will negatively impact my future. But I do know that my brother will have to face the consequences of his actions for being the only one who didn’t attend our graduation, and you bet I am going to hold that over him for the rest of my damn life. I’m going to wave it high and proud like an American flag on the 4th of July because my own brother, that I once had a close relationship with, decided to be a coward just because he wants control and my parents won’t let him. I don’t care if I ever see him again since I know the brother I knew and loved is king gone in all of his hatred. Even during the time I was close to him, he was not who I thought he was. I am now hearing all of these terrible things as I grow older, and he is and was a terrible person, a bully above all else. You so badly want to believe the person you love, especially someone who shares your blood, is inherently good. Now that my rose-tinted glasses were shattered the day he told me to “get the fuck out of my house,” I can now see him for who he truly is. I wish he would just get over himself and finally admit that he isn’t all-knowing or all-dominant. That he needs his family.

First of all congrats to all 2024 graduates.
This is a long one so yea. My dad has always been a pretty much absent father. Especially financially, with my mom buying us everything we’ve needed , we being my sister and I. I have vivid memories of my dad calling and saying he’s come pick us up for us to spend time with him, only for him to arrive at 10 PM to give us a $10 bill and kiss good bye. we saw him occasionally. We’ve maybe been with a total of 10-20 times throughout the entirety our lives. But as we got older we realized that we weren’t a priority of his.
Right around when COVID hit though my dad began to come around a lot more. But not in the way u may be thinking. See my dad got into hard drugs, with his then gf. Lost my baby brother to CPS, and was basically homeless. So he invited himself to our home, sleeping in my moms car at night and sometimes my mom being the god send that she is was nice enough to let him come in and eat when it got colder out. This was the worst time of my life concerning my father . I saw him in a completely different light and thought very little of him. It just completely stunned me that the only way my dad would come to see his kids is if he had nowhere else to go. He , as most drug addicts was in and out of jail, until one time when he had to stay for a few months longer , and then spent a few months in a halfway house. All throughout this and before my mom never really spoke ill of my father , unless she was arguing with him about some bull shit he was doing while being a druggy and hanging around our house, like doing drugs in our basement. But she always encouraged or even forced us to communicate with him, and try to forgive/ build a relationship with him. Aswell as countless times of my mom helping this man. Giving him money, rides, clothes, and wtv else he asked for.
Well after my dad went to jail that last time and was in the halfway house, he came out a new man. He kicked his drug habit, got his CDL license and was doing great. My sister and I were very proud of him and wanted to give him another chance. We spent 4th of July with him, and hung out with him a couple more times just driving around in his car. And just in general we’re a little closer and more communicative.
Fast forward to the 2 main incidents that led to him not being invited to my graduation . So as I was heading over to a friends house one day my car cut out. My mom was at work with a client (she’s a hairdresser) so I naively thought I could call my dad. He showed up took a look under my hood and realized that id need to get it towed. So I took the initiative to start calling tow companies and try to find the cheapest one. I luckily manage to find a guy that would do it for only $65 . Which if you’re an adult you know how much of an insanely good deal that is. Whilst I’m calling tow companies my dad has spent this time complaining about my moms choice in cars , and basically blaming her for my car cutting out. And also trying to call his sister so he could borrow a tool she had to just hitch my car to her truck and tow it himself. He can’t get ahold of her so I bring up the $65 tow guy. This man starts complaining saying he can do it for free and just wait for his sister to pick it up. Anothe 30 minutes go by and nothing. So i call my mom, and ask her can she cashapp me. Of course she says yes. So I call the tow man myself to get my car towed. The entire time this man is complaining about paying $65 fucking dollars, complaining about my mom buying the car , and complaining saying I hope she doesn’t expect me to pay for this. Mind you he has a CDL license, so he’s making good money and can more then afford to pay it . He paid $30,000 for his car cash and was able to save this money up for it in only a few months, so u do that math for how much he makes. At first I was ignoring him letting him talk shit. But he just kept going on and on and on, and I finally snapped and told him to stop talking about my mom and began defending her. We got into a heated argument that ended with him saying don’t ask him for anything, and me assuring him that I won’t. I had started crying because of how frustrated I was at the situation . I was asking something so little of him and this is how he acted? And he made fun of that saying “I’m not going to cry about it either” this was the last straw and I vowed to never reach out to him again.
I kept that vow despite my moms continuous efforts to get me to talk to him/ unblock him/ forgive him , but I was done. My 18th birthday roles around a few months later. And I decided to be nice and invite him, my thought process was I’m going to college soon , and won’t see him for probably the 4 yrs that id be gone away to school. So why not just try. I didn’t ask this man for anything and just told him where the place of my party was. The time comes and my mom and I are a little late to my party about 10-15 minutes late to getting to the place. He begins texting me asking where we are , and I say we’re a few minutes late, but otw and just resend the address . He starts making excuses saying oh he has work he has to go and wtv else. I say ok that’s fine . He says oh I have a gift I wanted to give you. I say oh you could bring it later when ur off or we could meet somewhere for me to get it tmrw. The next day roles around and I ask him if he worked today and when I could meet him to get the gift. Then he starts talking bs saying, oh I already gave it to ur mom, with the child support card. I’m thinkin oh maybe he can put more money on it and did that for me , for my bday. But no he was referring to the money he is mandated to pay by the state , which he just began paying for the last year or he so he’d been driving trucks. So once I realized this I decided to tell him how bad of a father he was, and yes I did disrespect him and curse him out and I didn’t care. This was really the final straw and I wanted to give him a piece of my mind. And that I did. This is where he really fucked up though. He texted my mom saying to give me the childsupprt card for my bday. My mom uses the $400/ month he pays for our utilities and has them on autopay. And idrc what anyone thinks about that I think it’s a very appropriate use of it. Especially since she pays for wtv else we need and want with no complaints . So she tells him it’s sad that has nothing to give his daughter on her 18th birthday and not to text her phone with the bs telling her what to do with the money. Ig this upsets him because he brings up something’s of my moms past , during a time that was really hard for her. And that was it for my mom. She cut him off too, and though she has not hate for him, she says she’s done allowing people in her life that do nothing but take advantage of and disrespect her. I was relieved to finally have my mother stop pressuring me to spend time with my father, and happy to be done with the stress and pain that he usually causes when he’s around.
Fast forward to now , my Graduation was last week. I only had 8 tickets . And I had already decided to give tickets to my grandma , her 5 kids (my mom , aunts , and uncles) my sister and my favorite cousin. A few days before the graduation whilst at school, a teacher pulls me aside and asks me did Ik my dad tried to come up to my school to get a graduation ticket . I laughed this off. The day of my graduation comes and I find out he was at the place of the graduation trying to find me. I was relieved that we didn’t bump into one another because I truthfully don’t want to see him. But later I felt a little bad when thinking about how he tried to come to the school then still came to the graduation despite not being let in obviously for the lack of a ticket. I don’t know why but my mom is in the same boat feeling guilty that he wasn’t let in on such a big moment. And has began some of her old antics of saying oh can he come to ur graduation party (not the ceremony but a family celebration) my guilt however doesn’t extend this far, and I just can’t give this man yet another opportunity to disappoint me. So what do you think Reddit , am I the asshole?

I've been in love with this woman(X) since I was 14 or 15. I'm 26 now. Nearly 10 or 11 years later. We've been close friends on and off througout these years. On and off because I keep trying to cut ties(which I fail to keep cut because I just end up talking to her again). I did it once in high school when she got a boyfriend and then started talking to her again when they broke up, but I never had the balls to ask her out the rest of high school, and finally when it ended I tried cutting ties again before I left for uni(thought it'd be for good this time because we were going to different states, more than 10 hours away from each other). Things were going okay in uni, in my first year, and I found someone else(Y) that I liked, she had a boyfriend(long distance) so I wasn't hitting on her but l'm pretty sure she knew I liked her. We got really close in the first few months of uni, one day she asks me if i like her and I said yes, after which we stopped talking which really fucking hurt because I thought we were close friends. Right after that happened I started texting X again and it was like we never stopped talking. I got caught for weed at my dorm one night and while I was flipping out about being kicked out of the dorm and my parents finding out, she calls me up and one of the worst nights of my life turned out to be the best, and I guess that's when I realized I'm might still be in love with her. And I confirmed I was in love with her when one of our mutual friends told me that she told him that she liked me at some point in high school. But I didn't wanna admit it or tell her because I saw no point since we were 10 hours apart which just made me feel like absolute shit. Prior to college, till shit went south with Y, I'd never smoked(cigs or weed) or drank and was completely against it. One night I decided to get wasted(it was my first time getting drunk, and the last tbh for another 2 years) and since I didnt know any better I had 8 or 9 shots of whiskey back to back after which I got pretty fucked up and out of control and I ended up texting her admitting how I felt in I think a fucking 3 page essay to which I got no response which made me feel like absolute dogshit and I ended up crying the entire night at my friend's place. Next day I was still feeling like shit and I was at another friend's place smoking up and still crying about it to him and he just picks up my phone and calls her up and asks her to talk to me and she tells me she doesn't feel the same which broke me. After that conversation I just decided to just say fuck it, and fuck up my life, and I was just getting high on weed, alcohol or some other substance every day for the next 4 years. I barely attended uni, managed to get a year back. Pretty much wasted 5 years of my life just getting high or drunk. Anyways after that conversation with X, I stopped talking to her till I think my third year of uni. I met her once in twice in between, once when we were both back at our hometown, and once when she came to score some weed with her boyfriend (yeah I was also a dealer in uni). When I got into my 3rd year of uni, one day she hits me up outta nowhere and she said she's coming over to stay with me, and she stayed for like 2 days. I didnt make a move because I am a fucking dumbass, and I thought she just came there because we were friends. I call myself a dumbass because I do not understand signals from women. I'm also calling myself a dumbass because me and X ended up making out last year and she told me that she's wanted to do this for a while and when I asked her when she told me it whenever she came over to stay with me(which happened like 2 times). And the thing is, we made out after not talking to each other for nearly 3 years. After my uni I decided to completely cut ties with her because I knew that I was fucking up my life and one of the main reasons, there were plenty tbh, that were much worse than a girl not liking me but none of that mattered really because I honestly haven't cared about anything or anyone as much as I cared about her and I didnt know how to get her to like me. At the time I even thought it was all her fault(because it's definitely easier to blame someone else for the shit that goes wrong in your life than to admit that you're the fucking problem) and so one night I just sent her this huge message telling her to get the fuck out if my life and how she has ruined it and blocked her. After this I decided to quit smoking weed every day and isolated myself for a good 6 months(well not really by choice, I decided to move to my uncle's house during covid, and he wouldn't let me out because he was scared of getting infected). After the 6 months I went back to my hometown and I meet her the day after I landed(cuz we have mutual friends) and she asked me if i blocked her and I said yeah. We ended up meeting again a couple of times because we pretty much have the same friends, which didn't help me get over her so I just decided to cut out all my friends for like 2 years. And honestly speaking I got my shit together in those 2 years. Now I've never been someone with a lot of confidence my whole life. I've been an addict with no self control. Addicted to different substances, food, porn, cigarettes, just being an absolute waste man. Throughout high-school I was a fatass ugly fucker. I got attractive in uni cuz I smoked weed and lost a fuck ton of weight, I was attractive on the outside but a piece of shit on the inside(I knew it, but no one else really did)so getting attractive really didn't help my confidence a bit. In the last 2 years I finally got my shit together, got over almost all my addictions(smoking was my main, now it's porn, trying to get over it now) started going to the gym regularly and felt happy about myself, and I decided to start talking to my old friends and unblocked X because I finally realized it's not her fault that shit went wrong in my life, but my own which i didn't really admit to her cuz I had too much ego. I didn't even start talking to her, I just unblocked her and started following her socials. We ended up meeting because of our mutual friends, and the second time we met, we got super drunk, and we both started apologizing to each other. Later that night she made a move on me and we made out for a bit. Now I've hooked up with other people, but I've always felt like shit about it because it just never felt good. But I can't forget this fucking night, like it's etched in my fucking memory unlike most things because I have a shit memory. Honestly I forget most things that happen in my life except for moments i spend with her. Thing is I didn't wanna pursue it any further because I was leaving the country to pursue my passion (which didn't work out and I returned back home) and now I feel like it's too late to pursue it, because I don't think she's interested. I don't wanna tell her how I feel either because I've done this before and it's never worked out. I used to keep making excuses about being single to everyone by telling people that i don't have the opportunity to meet a lot of women after college(partially true), but now at my new job I meet plenty of women but I'm not interested in any of them because I know deep down I'm still in love with X. I don't think I can fall in love with anyone else and honestly I don't know what the fuck to do at this point. Worst part is life is going great at this point after being down in the dumps for so long. Got a decent job that I actually like going to, got great friends, have a lot of control over myself, but I still don't feel any happier because I'm not with her. Can't even tell this to anyone cuz our mutual friends think I'm over her, and don't know anything that happened between us. And my other friends just don't support me liking her so I just tell them I don't like her anymore.

I've been in love with this girl(X) since I was 14 or 15. I'm 26 now. Nearly 10 or 11 years later. We've been close friends on and off througout these years. On and off because I keep trying to cut ties(which I fail to keep cut because I just end up talking to her again). I did it once in high school when she got a boyfriend and then started talking to her again when they broke up, but I never had the balls to ask her out the rest of high school, and finally when it ended I tried cutting ties again before I left for uni(thought it'd be for good this time because we were going to different states, more than 10 hours away from each other). Things were going okay in uni, in my first year, and I found someone else(Y) that I liked, she had a boyfriend(long distance) so I wasn't hitting on her but l'm pretty sure she knew I liked her. We got really close in the first few months of uni, one day she asks me if i like her and I said yes, after which we stopped talking which really fucking hurt because I thought we were close friends. Right after that happened I started texting X again and it was like we never stopped talking. I got caught for weed at my dorm one night and while I was flipping out about being kicked out of the dorm and my parents finding out, she calls me up and one of the worst nights of my life turned out to be the best, and I guess that's when I realized I'm might still be in love with her. And I confirmed I was in love with her when one of our mutual friends told me that she told him that she liked me at some point in high school. But I didn't wanna admit it or tell her because I saw no point since we were 10 hours apart which just made me feel like absolute shit. Prior to college, till shit went south with Y, I'd never smoked(cigs or weed) or drank and was completely against it. One night I decided to get wasted(it was my first time getting drunk, and the last tbh for another 2 years) and since I didnt know any better I had 8 or 9 shots of whiskey back to back after which I got pretty fucked up and out of control and I ended up texting her admitting how I felt in I think a fucking 3 page essay to which I got no response which made me feel like absolute dogshit and I ended up crying the entire night at my friend's place. Next day I was still feeling like shit and I was at another friend's place smoking up and still crying about it to him and he just picks up my phone and calls her up and asks her to talk to me and she tells me she doesn't feel the same which broke me. After that conversation I just decided to just say fuck it, and fuck up my life, and I was just getting high on weed, alcohol or some other substance every day for the next 4 years. I barely attended uni, managed to get a year back. Pretty much wasted 5 years of my life just getting high or drunk. Anyways after that conversation with X, I stopped talking to her till I think my third year of uni. I met her once in twice in between, once when we were both back at our hometown, and once when she came to score some weed with her boyfriend (yeah I was also a dealer in uni). When I got into my 3rd year of uni, one day she hits me up outta nowhere and she said she's coming over to stay with me, and she stayed for like 2 days. I didnt make a move because I am a fucking dumbass, and I thought she just came there because we were friends. I call myself a dumbass because I do not understand signals from women. I'm also calling myself a dumbass because me and X ended up making out last year and she told me that she's wanted to do this for a while and when I asked her when she told me it whenever she came over to stay with me(which happened like 2 times). And the thing is, we made out after not talking to each other for nearly 3 years. After my uni I decided to completely cut ties with her because I knew that I was fucking up my life and one of the main reasons, there were plenty tbh, that were much worse than a girl not liking me but none of that mattered really because I honestly haven't cared about anything or anyone as much as I cared about her and I didnt know how to get her to like me. At the time I even thought it was all her fault(because it's definitely easier to blame someone else for the shit that goes wrong in your life than to admit that you're the fucking problem) and so one night I just sent her this huge message telling her to get the fuck out if my life and how she has ruined it and blocked her. After this I decided to quit smoking weed every day and isolated myself for a good 6 months(well not really by choice, I decided to move to my uncle's house during covid, and he wouldn't let me out because he was scared of getting infected). After the 6 months I went back to my hometown and I meet her the day after I landed(cuz we have mutual friends) and she asked me if i blocked her and I said yeah. We ended up meeting again a couple of times because we pretty much have the same friends, which didn't help me get over her so I just decided to cut out all my friends for like 2 years. And honestly speaking I got my shit together in those 2 years. Now I've never been someone with a lot of confidence my whole life. I've been an addict with no self control. Addicted to different substances, food, porn, cigarettes, just being an absolute waste man. Throughout high-school I was a fatass ugly fucker. I got attractive in uni cuz I smoked weed and lost a fuck ton of weight, I was attractive on the outside but a piece of shit on the inside(I knew it, but no one else really did)so getting attractive really didn't help my confidence a bit. In the last 2 years I finally got my shit together, got over almost all my addictions(smoking was my main, now it's porn, trying to get over it now) started going to the gym regularly and felt happy about myself, and I decided to start talking to my old friends and unblocked X because I finally realized it's not her fault that shit went wrong in my life, but my own which i didn't really admit to her cuz I had too much ego. I didn't even start talking to her, I just unblocked her and started following her socials. We ended up meeting because of our mutual friends, and the second time we met, we got super drunk, and we both started apologizing to each other. Later that night she made a move on me and we made out for a bit. Now I've hooked up with other people, but I've always felt like shit about it because it just never felt good. But I can't forget this fucking night, like it's etched in my fucking memory unlike most things because I have a shit memory. Honestly I forget most things that happen in my life except for moments i spend with her. Thing is I didn't wanna pursue it any further because I was leaving the country to pursue my passion (which didn't work out and I returned back home) and now I feel like it's too late to pursue it, because I don't think she's interested. I don't wanna tell her how I feel either because I've done this before and it's never worked out. I used to keep making excuses about being single to everyone by telling people that i don't have the opportunity to meet a lot of women after college(partially true), but now at my new job I meet plenty of women but I'm not interested in any of them because I know deep down I'm still in love with X. I don't think I can fall in love with anyone else and honestly I don't know what the fuck to do at this point. Worst part is life is going great at this point after being down in the dumps for so long. Got a decent job that I actually like going to, got great friends, have a lot of control over myself, but I still don't feel any happier because I'm not with her.

DO NOT COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS. I am NOT OP. Original post by u/OddDot5178 in AITAH
trigger warnings: possible transphobia, possible mental health issues, manipulation
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NOTE: Because everyone will wonder, I am addressing this right now. While OOP's child identifies as non-binary, she uses "she/her" pronouns and presents as a female. This is why OOP refers to her as her daughter.

AITAH For Not Wanting To Raise My NB Daughter's Baby? - Feb 7, 2024
My daughter came to me at 16 and said she was non-binary, but only sometimes. Like, some days she would feel more male than female and some days she would feel like neither. She wanted me to ask her every day what day it was and then refer to her as that pronoun of the day.
I told her that wasn’t going to fly. Growing up, I spent a lot of time on LJ (Livejournal) during the ol’ ‘bun-self’ and ‘zen-self’ ‘zir-self’ days. People who think this is new to this generation are fooling themselves. I told her that I would call her the pronoun she wanted, and do my best to remember it day to day, but she was going to have to tell me what she wanted for that day. I wasn’t going to play a daily guessing game.
This went on for about a week or two until she finally seemed to grow tired or bored and just said I could call her ‘her’. Though she still identifies as non-binary. Fine. (At least when it was going on she wanted ‘she, he, or they’ — I’m sorry but I couldn’t have done fox-self/fox-them with a straight face).
So that’s the pronoun story and looking back where I think things started to go off the handle. Here’s my real question.
My daughter is now 18, pregnant, and seems to have lost her god damned mind. Or I’m an asshole. You choose.
This year has been a struggle. She wanted to take a break year before she goes to community college, but can’t keep a job. Apparently, retail situations are too phobic against her non-binary state. (My child looks/acts/dresses exactly as a young adult female btw. When I ask how people are being phobic against her, she gets as prickly as a cactus so I really don’t know the details.). She’s been through 4 or 5 jobs this year, quit all of them. She won’t consider call centers that aren’t face to face because she doesn’t like to talk on phones, and is apparently looking for a remote job without any luck.
She’s been unemployed since Thanksgiving (she quit her last job on Black Friday, in fact) and I was on the verge of laying down the law, telling her she either needs to go to school this upcoming semester full time or get a full time job or move out with her friends.
But now she’s come to me and she’s 5 months pregnant. She’s very angry at me, says it’s my fault because:

• I didn’t put her on puberty-blocking hormones when she came to me 2 years ago.
• She believes I am in fact trying to ‘feminize her’ by getting her birth control. (The pill.). She’s been throwing her prescription away.

This is where I might be the asshole. I called her a little idiot. We don’t use that sort of language in my house, and I never call people names — especially my own child — but at that moment I could just see red.
The hormone thing is a non-issue IMO because this is the first time I ever heard of her wanting hormones. What was I supposed to do? Go back in time?
As for the birth control! It’s also the first time I’m hearing anything about this! There are non-pill options that don’t have estrogen. If that was her want, all she had to do was ask and I would have driven her to the doctor myself! Or she could have taken the car she has and done it. She has her own medical card, even! Though to be fair, I don’t know how she would have managed the co-pay without a job. I know for a fact her old high school gave out free condoms like candy because her friends were always giggling over flavored sample packs and even blew a few of them up like balloons and left them around the house one time. She had all the birth control she could ever want and used none of it.
It gets worse.
We’re way past the date of abortion (again, I would have helped her if this had been her wish! We live in an abortion protected state and can afford it!). She’s known she was pregnant since about 2 months and has come to think of her baby like a sibling. She expects me to raise it like it was mine. That this is my duty, in fact, because she says it is my refusal to accept her non-binary state that led to her being pregnant. So she was going to get a brother or sister and I was going to have another child.
You can say my language grew … sterner to versions of ‘Get your head out of your ass’ and ‘Congratulations, mommy, you have some hard decisions to make’, and I said I would absolutely not raise her baby for her.
She also refused to say who the father was. Now that I’ve cooled down, I’m really hoping she has a secret boyfriend. She does have some friends who were born male, but now also don’t identify that way. We didn’t even get there as I lost my mind when she said she thinks of her own baby as a sibling and wants me to raise it like my own child.
She’s locked herself in her room loudly wailing, I feel like crap warmed over. She’s been in there for 12 hours, and as she has an attached bathroom, probably won’t be coming out until she gets hungry. Considering it’s been half a day I think she has snacks stored.
I also don’t know where to go from here. Being pregnant sucks and messes with your head, so I’d like to blame that and the fear she must be feeling, but … I have the bad feeling I either raised a spoiled brat or someone with an emerging personality disorder.
So I need to know from people who aren’t emotionally involved, and maybe some people who are more in tune with this whole nonbinary thing than I am.
What do I do to help while also making her responsible for her own child? How can I help my daughter accept she must do basically the most feminine thing you can do (give birth and possibly breast-feed) while being sensitive that she’s non-binary? Am I just a big asshole here?
Typing all this out it feels like my daughter is lost in crazy town. I'm still not raising her baby but at what point do I drag a legal adult to the hospital?
Edit: You might disagree with my choices or wording, but I'm reporting people who call this bait. It's not.
Edit2: It's the middle of the night and she has decided to pack some of her clothes and stay with one of her friends. (One who I suspect is the baby daddy). Before she left she told me that she already called the police and let them know that she was 'leaving of her own free will and was not in danger'. Like I was going to report an 18 year old adult as a runaway or something? It was insulting.
I told her she needs to work out details if she wants to adopt with the father, and she was welcome back home when she had a plan in place.
It was short because I heard her on the way out. I think she just meant to leave without saying anything.
Thank you for your kind comments and advice, Reddit. I'm going to sleep.
Commenters agreed that OOP's child wasn't thinking straight:
Comment 1:
NTA.
I hate to say this, but; I sincerely hope OP's daughter chooses to give up this baby for adoption, because she's a confused hot ass mess. I don't blame OP for not wanting to step on the crazy train and raise this baby.
Comment 2:
Let’s be honest: If OP says yes to raising this child as her own, it will be the first of several. Daughter won’t take BC, so she will continue to have unprotected sex and get pregnant. She decided a couple years ago that she’s NB, expected her mother to understand that and know everything about it, and is now rewriting history to blame her mom for her now being pregnant. My head is swimming, and she’s not my daughter! There will be more babies.
Comment 3:
NB here OP.
You are SO NTA. I feel sympathy for your kid because they sound like they are so confused, maybe have body dysphoria and are now facing a life altering situation with no way out. They must feel so trapped. So they turn on you. It's easier for them to yell at and blame you instead of accepting responsibility. They are looking for a way out. We all keep changing and growing and your kid is SO young they seem to not know who they are yet and now they have to face looking after a baby when they know deep down they can't even really take care of themselves.
But my GOD the thing they did that was really stupid was chucking BC away. That is actually wild. Your kid needs to learn the difference between gender enforced stereotypes and actual biology. With biology it unfortunately doesn't matter what gender you are, the biology doesn't care, it still works the same. They NEED to learn that and differentiate.
Like I said, NTA OP. What a shit situation. I hope it gets better. I really do.
Comment 4:
NTA, your child is in fact a little idiot, with behavior that would be an absolute nightmare had you not been their parent. Also birth control isn’t a form of feminization, it’s a form of responsibility when you’re born in a body with a uterus and want to have sex that can result in pregnancy.
OOP's response:
Ugh, I wish I had those words when she hit me with that one. I sort of sputtered for a few minutes.
Comment 5:
Oh man, this is a can of worms within itself.
I wish I had better advice but just...I feel for you and the position you are stuck in.
The ONLY thing I can think of is, referring to breast feeding as "chest feeding" might make your NB daughter accept it more.
But like...there's a whole other level of things you need to get through first.
First and foremost, therapy, ASAP for your kid. Because she needs to get her head sorted out. Assuming you will just take this kid and raise it for her is...problematic to say the least. And she's got a deadline coming obviously, so therapy ASAP.
Also appointment for pregnancy checkups asap!! Has she had any? An unmonitored pregnancy can lead to complications
You might also be able to get her a social worker to go through pregnancy checkups, birthing extra.
Your kid needs a big sit down conversation about accountability for your own actions. And about how she might feel like part of YOUR actions lead to this, there was also many many choices she could have made to prevent this, that she chose not too. And at the end of the day, it was HER choices that led to this, not you.
OOP's response:
Thanks for this tip. I've written it down. The reason I mentioned she was NB because using 'breast' instead of 'chest' is the exact type of thing to send her into a pissy-fit when she's in the wrong mood. I know this may sound like a little thing, but she's always been... well, dramatic.
Because it's the internet and things are anonymous I'll admit that I am absolutely dreading pregnancy and afterbirth mood swings. Especially since it will all involve very womanly things in every intimate way. On top of the sheer stress of a newborn? Yes, I'm not looking forward to it at all and am already preparing to endure the storms.
Our conversation wasn't productive (it was an argument and she's still not out of her room) but I don't think she has had any prenatal care. That will change if I have anything to do with it.
Thanks again.
OOP commented with some of her concerns:
Yes. My worry and regret have so many places to go and a big part of it is for the baby.
This has been a bad day. :(
Responding to a comment regarding her child's entitled attitude:
Oh believe you me I have been kicking myself up and down on top of everything else. I don't know how she got to this point, but she's there now.
I wish I did have that time travel machine she clearly expects me to have.
She also clarified her overall views on the matter:
I'm on the fence. If she acted at all like she didn't have a gender (I believe that's what NB is) then I could take it more seriously. But she dresses as a woman. She puts on makeup, wears dresses during the summer, enjoys feminine things? We watch horse videos on youtube and squeal over the new foal videos. She's never been a tom boy, even.
But I was like, okay this isn't hurting her. I'll let her have this and express herself. Maybe it'll turn into something, maybe it won't. And after the first few weeks, she even dropped changing pronouns every day.
Her mentioning being NB faded and then started up hard again when high school ended and she started working retail.
I try to be understanding. Retail is hell and I'd personally only work it again if I was at my last resort. But recently it does seem to be an excuse not to work. And now she has a baby on the way.
This may not be the place for it, but I'm just worried she's regressing to a more child-like state. I don't know if she's struggling with being NB or if she's using NB as an excuse to shield herself from the world. Ugh. I guess the internet won't know, but I'm just flat out worried.
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AITAH has no consensus bot but the comments were largely NTA.
​
Update: My NB Daughter Wants Me To Raise Her Baby - Feb 17, 2024
Hi,
This is an update to this post (Long story short my 18 year old NB daughter wanted me to raise her baby, and she told me she thinks the baby as her sibling. We had a blow-out, she locked herself in her room for most of a day, and then took off with her friends/her lover)
So this happened a few days ago but I didn’t update because I needed to get my head around it. It still doesn’t make sense.
Daughter finally unblocked me. She and the person who got her pregnant wanted to talk to me at a public place. We chose iHop.
Although I suspected I knew who her lover was, I was disappointed to find out because they have been a part of my daughter’s friend group since high school and was the only one I ever had a problem with and kicked out of my house.
They are trans now but two years ago the friend group was watching a movie in the living room, and every time I’d pass by, he (he was a he then) would lock eyes with me and make really obnoxious, loud, orgasm sounds like that scene in Harry Met Sally. I told him to knock it off and grew sterner when he did it again.
Then when I was in the kitchen, he somehow snuck up behind me and was miming jack-off movements with his hand. I turned around and caught him at it. He was still fully clothed, but it was startling and freaky. I kicked him out.
So now I’ll just call them Sperm-donor because that’s what they are.
I’m still calling my daughter ‘my daughter’ and ‘she’ because I still haven’t been told not to by her otherwise. So get off my case on that.
Anyway, the iHop meeting was a shit-show. Sperm-donor sat with my daughter and went on the attack. Sperm-donor’s points were:

• I was poisoning my daughter by “making” her take birth control. (I only helped her get the prescription and would have done everything I could if I knew she didn’t want to take the pill. There are other methods!)
• It will take years to “fix” my daughter after all I did. (Not giving her hormones even though I had no idea that was what she wanted. She dropped even wanting to change her pronouns after a few weeks.)
• Abortion is a sin and I am a monster for suggesting it. (It’s past the date anyway.)
• I am further abusing her by not taking care of the baby while she fixes herself. (I guess they meant it as a temp situation which was also new to me.)

So apparently even though I’m an abusive monster, a bad mother, and so on, I’m even worse for not taking in their baby. At least no one suggested that I raise it like my daughter’s sister anymore. That might have been my daughter’s thought on it.
Sperm-donor did most of the talking while my daughter just sat and glared at me, nodding along.
It was kind of a whirlwind, Sperm-donor pounded the table a few times, and even the waiter knew not to bother us after drinks, lol. I’m surprised we weren’t asked to leave.
There was a lot said, mostly by the sperm-donor who really seemed to be steering the ship. I asked why sperm-donor couldn’t take care of the baby and sperm-donor said their parents were even worse than me. I guess my daughter and sperm-donor taking care of the child they created is out of the question.
I told them that I would not be raising their baby for them and that adoption is the best bet. They said that if I don’t agree to raise it, they’ll make sure I’ll never see the baby ever.
I won’t raise their child for them. So that’s that, I guess.
I feel so many flavors of worried and angry and then worried all over again. I’ve been around the block and it’s never a great sign when the person you’re with makes an enemy of your family. That’s what sperm-donor has done by painting me as an abuser and failed mother who also won’t take in their baby. Sounds like sperm-donor has cut themselves off from their own family too. So I’m worried my daughter is in a very controlling relationship with someone who convinced her to stop birth control because they think hormones are too feminizing somehow and that she needs to be “fixed”. But they still want me to raise their baby.
I’m angry that my daughter can just hear this crap and nod along like, yeah, that makes total sense. She is not stupid. I think she’s love blinded.
I’m sad and worried for the baby. A couple commenters suggested I wanted nothing to do with the baby because I wouldn’t agree to raise it as my own. No, in a perfect world, I would want a normal grandmotherly relationship. Or at least know that the child is safe and has been adopted into a loving family.
I don’t care what my daughter does with her gender, or her body as long as she doesn’t hurt herself. I want her to be in a happy relationship with someone who values her for who she is. Sperm-donor kept using the word ‘fix’ which I see as another terrible sign.
It’s bad all around. My house is empty. It feels like my adult daughter has run off to join up with some weird church/cult thing who tells her that up is down. That not using birth control and not getting an abortion and then expecting others to take care of the child is all a-okay. Oh and that she’s a problem and needs to be “fixed”.
I texted her and said I would be there for her, but sperm-donor was still not welcome in the house. I think I’m blocked again.
She’s a legal adult. I’m not sure what else I can do at this point? In my low points, part of me thinks maybe I should agree to take the baby and then immediately make sure it’s adopted into a loving home. But I get the feeling that sperm-donor won’t make that easy, and right now my daughter does what he says. Also I’m not sure if that plan is even possible. It sounds Hollywood.
I have an appointment to speak with a councilor, but the soonest I could get is April. Some of my friends think I should take the baby in either to get them away from the parents or because they think it’s my duty, or both.
The only silver lining in this was that they both seemed sober. I don’t think there’s drugs involved.
Am I reading this wrong? Am I the asshole here?
Commenters agreed that sperm donor's comments made no sense, and that OOP's child was probably stuck in an abusive relationship:
Comment 1:
For your safety, I would change the locks and put up camera, Sperm-donor seems unhinged. I’m a firm believer in better safe than sorry.
Comment 2:
This baby will be used as a pawn in his never ending psycho drama. If they do not and cannot raise their baby, the best solution is adoption. Otherwise, the father will make your life a living hell.
NTA
OOP's response:
I couldn't figure out a polite way of saying this, but yes. That is my suspicion if I take in their baby. Sperm-donor implied it would be temporary while earlier my daughter said it would be permanent. I think sperm-donor will refuse to sign over paperwork when the time comes or try to leverage it in some way.
Comment 3:
NTA also it sounds like your daughter is in an abusive relationship with this person. Sorry your daughter has been brain washed by this crazy person. I would definitely contact this sperm donors family and if they seem sane warn them about how crazy both of spoke to you.
OOP's response:
That is my fear, and not a bad idea to contact sperm-donor's parents. This has all happened so far, I feel like I'm in shock and I'm very worried.
Comment 4:
Pretty wild that a trans person is saying abortion is a sin. None of this is anything like what you're going to hear from any healthy LGBT community, who are quite careful to make sure not to support people in delusional or antisocial behavior. Definitely get therapy, sounds like your kid has some serious mental health problems if they're being influenced by whatever wackos put these ideas into their head. You're going to need support in coping with this madness. NTA by a country mile. You are in no way "abusing" your kid by refusing to take responsibility for their bad choices.
OOP's response:
Thank you and yes, I don't want to minimize my daughter's role in it but the hard anti-abortion thing surprised me too. A lot of what they said contradicted itself. It felt like I was sitting across from two people who were in their own wacko bubble.
I know it's not a LGBT thing. I wish someone from their community would knock some sense into them, if its even possible at this point.
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OOP hasn't posted since the last update.
Reminder - I am not the original poster. DO NOT COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS.

TW for s/h mentions, self end mentions, and abuse mentions
Obligatory clarification that this was a few months ago, I just regularly feel guilty about it and wanted to see if I'm right in feeling that guilt. Also, apologies in advance since I think this is going to be a long post.
I(20ftm) was abused in multiple ways by my stepfather(46m). I filed a case against him two years ago, which finally got picked up after my younger sister(16f) ran away from the house. During these two years, no one in the family talked to me, as he convinced everyone that I was a liar, a manipulator, and was doing everything as an act of revenge on him for "treating me with the respect I deserved". He was sentenced last October to 15 years in prison, and then they began to investigate my mother(38f) because she knew about the physical/verbal/mental abuse of all of us kids(there were five of us, ages will be given as children are mentioned), and about the s/xual abuse toward me. I live out in Arizona, however when my mother lost custody of our siblings, my older sister(25f), who well call Molly, reached out to me asking if I would be willing to come back up to Ohio, my home state, to help her take temporary custody of the children. The plan was that I would come back up to Ohio, live with my old roommates, get a job, and watch the children in the morning to get them on the bus and afternoon until Molly got home from work. This was something that was agreed upon by everyone, and it was decided that due to a job opportunity I would be going back to Arizona in three months. I immediately explained to everyone involved that I would not flake out on these plans unless my mental health got to a point where I was actively considering self ending. Molly requested that she get "some sort of notice" before something like that we're to happen, and I told her that the best I could do was actively pointing out signs of mental health decline as they happened so she would know where I was in my headspace, to which she agreed.
Fast forward to the day I'm to fly up, and I get a call from Molly. She explains that our grandmother is giving her her old house in exchange for the childcare until my mother got out of jail should the worst case scenario happen, and she wanted to know if I could live in full time with her. In exchange she would pay my way through driving school and get me a car off Facebook marketplace, which would roughly equal out to three months of paid labor. She explained that I wouldn't have to do any chores(though it would be nice) and she would support me financially so that I didn't need to get a job(though I also could if I wanted to) and I could put my full time and care toward the children. This seemed like a fair deal to me, so I agreed. We talked about a few other minor details, such as my room(I wouldn't have one, and would be sleeping in the corner of the living room) and food(I requested that she get healthy food because eating excessive amounts of junk food triggers my ED, which she agreed to but more on that later).
I fly up and reconnect with all of my siblings(I hadn't talked to any of them in person since the incident two years ago), and talk with a close friend of mine, who I'll call Buddy. Buddy expressed that he didn't think that me moving in full time with Molly was a good idea, and tried to imply that she might try and take advantage of me while I was there and overstep boundaries. I told him that I trusted her not to do so, and she and I had agreed that I would be spending weekends with him at his place to decompress and regularly assess my mental health. This was almost immediately backtracked by Molly, saying she didn't expect me to actually take the whole weekend and she requested Saturdays to be her "day off", which I agreed to. About a week and a half after I arrived and was settled in, we started having violence issues with the youngest(10m), and they were mostly directed toward me. We assumed that this was because my stepfather had fed the kids a story about how I had left because I didn't care about them, and he was too young to understand the truth of the situation. Molly was very attentive to my needs at first, making sure to buy fruits and vegetables as well as having the children upstairs by 9 pm so that I could have some private time to relax each night. All was good other than the violent outbursts from the youngest(who I'll nickname Chris).
After about a month, we had to give Chris to an aunt due to the violent outbursts becoming more frequent and the police having to be called several times just to get him to stop attacking me. I explained to Molly that it was affecting me pretty badly, and she and I sat down and talked it out, deciding I wasn't at a point that I needed to leave yet, however if we kept him I would be. So we let Chris go up to my aunts, who we'll call Aunt Hayley. After that things calmed down in the household, with there only being two major fights between the remaining three children. During this time, Molly began to talk about how stressed she was about finances, as well as she signed up for a college course and got a boyfriend. I didn't see this as a big deal at the time, but it compiled with everything else. Molly began coming home at 6-7 and immediately going to her room, and I would end up keeping watch of the children for the remainder of the night. This didn't bother me too much at the time, as I saw it as helping her, however I could. Before this, she and I had pretty evenly split chores, with both of us doing dishes, laundry, and trash periodically. Once she began this college course, I took up the entirety of the dishes, laundry for all of the children, and majority of trash. Molly tended to her room and mandated when the children cleaned their rooms and their upstairs bathroom, but other than that was in her room either doing classwork or hanging out with her boyfriend. During this time she also stopped getting the healthier foods, despite me helping with grocery lists and requesting healthier foods, opting instead for snacks or frozen foods such as pizzas, hot pockets, bagel bites, etc. This upset me seeing as I had already explained to her my issues with said foods, but I didn't feel I had a right to make comment seeing as she was still financially supporting me.
During this time, my no contact order with my mother was lifted, and I agreed to speak with her again, seeing as she had eventually denounced her borderline worship of my stepfather and told the police everything, and was now in therapy and parenting classes. To be clear, from the moment I had arrived in Ohio, I had wanted nothing to do with her, and the only reason I had agreed to talk to her was to give her one last opportunity to man up and explain everything properly. She did, and as I had suspected, he had been severely abusing her in every way as well. I still didn't trust her, but I decided to give her a second chance at a relationship on the condition that she not bring any more men into my siblings lives until they were all 18 or older(which she agreed to). I began to visit her semi-regularly, and Molly and I agreed that I would go to her house Saturday nights for dinner, seeing as I was already going to Buddy's around 7 pm Saturday nights anyway, which meant it wouldn't really change any of Molly's plans. At this time I began having a friend over, who we'll call Max. Max is a close friend of mine since middle school, and Molly approved him to be around any time, however I only really had him around on Tuesdays due to his work schedule. As soon as Max met Molly, he said he didn't really like the way she talked to me, and when I didn't understand(I have autism) he explained that a lot of how she speaks to me sounds like she's talking down to/making fun of me, and that when I say something she doesn't seem to take me seriously. I brushed this off, thinking that it was just him not being used to her somewhat abrasive personality.
Molly continued to complain about finances, and I continued searching for a job as I had been since I got there, and then came the first weird incident during this. One day Molly said that our mother had offered her a motorcycle, but that she had a feeling that she wouldn't actually give it to her, and so she was going to go buy her own. I didn't mention how counter intuitive this was to her finance problem, though I should have in hindsight. She also went out that weekend to get her nails and hair professionally done(which she had told me at one point all together was around $200), as well as I believe the next weekend to get a $180 tattoo shaded. Seeing as Molly had gone out and bought a motorcycle, my mother instead offered me the bike, which I accepted. Molly then began making comments about how she knew my mother was going to give me the bike, and that was why she had gone out and gotten her own(despite the fact that I had asked for the bike before I knew it was supposed to be given to Molly, and was told only if she didn't want it because she got first dibs).
During the last month, my mental health began to hit the decline I had warned Molly about. I informed her of when it became hard to get out of bed, when I was having guilt or s/h urges, and then eventually I reached a point where I requested she take back up at least some responsibility of dishes and laundry because my mental health couldn't handle it. She got somewhat indignant about this, saying that because I was living there rent free I should be doing the majority of the chores. By this time, I had very much seen what Max had been saying about her talking down to me, however I wasn't in the mental state to go against her, so I just reiterated that I really wasn't doing well. She said that her classwork, job, and social life wouldn't allow her to have time for it, and since I had none of those I didn't have any reason to feel the way I was. At this point, Buddy and my two old roommates(who we'll call Rat and Iroh) started insisting that I should go back to the original plan and only go down in mornings and until she got home from work, however I felt obligated to help her so I stayed. They repeatedly reminded me that she still hadn't followed through on any of her promises regarding driving school, car, or respecting my triggers. I continued to stay, partially to help her and partially because I knew at this point that it would backfire on the children as well if I left.
Two weeks before I was supposed to leave, Molly pulled me aside and told me that due to financial concerns, she would be letting the children go to a foster home in two weeks, once I left. This confused me seeing as a) I hadn't been bringing in any financials, and b) she insisted on keeping the 16 year old(who I'll call Fiona) but refused to keep the other two, because (in her own words) "Fiona is the easiest to handle". I felt as if I was to blame for this because the way Molly had presented it to me made it seem like the only reason she was letting the children go was because I was leaving, and a few days earlier she had been trying to push "if you could only stay another month". This plummeted my mental health, and about a week later(a week before my stay was supposed to end) I hit the point of actively wanting to self end. I informed her of this, and she got cold with me, saying she wished I had told her sooner. I reminded her that I had vocalized every step for things going down hill, and she insisted that it wasnt enough and I should have given her more notice, as well as claiming she could have done this whole thing without me and that I was more trouble than I was worth at points. She then started saying that I had only come back to get close to our mother and that I didn't actually care about her or the children(as I said, I hated my mother when I arrived). I told her that I would stay till that Friday night as it was Thursday and I didn't want to force her to try to find last minute childcare so late at night. At some point in this conversation we got a call from the middle(14nb, whom we'll call Sora) child's school saying that Sora had assaulted another student. This student had been making fun of Sora for months, claiming that they deserved the abuse they went through and that she hoped my stepfather got out of jail so that he could hurt Sora worse. I requested Molly not be too intense on the punishment, seeing as this had been an ongoing issue that had been brought to both the principal and Molly's attention, and been brushed off by both. Molly started beating me about how disgusting it was that I was condoning violence, and I clarified that while I didn't condone it, this situation had been hard enough on Sora. At this point in time, I had had enough and told her that if she didn't want my input and wanted to belittle me and "put me in my place", then she could put her money where her mouth was about being able to do this without me and I would leave that night. She said fine, but that she knew I wasn't actually wanting to end myself and was just using it as a convenient out of the situation. I began to pack. As soon as she got home she said that I had been taking her tone wrong, and that she hadn't meant to attack me. She then started saying that I wasn't screwing her over in this, I was screwing the children over. This was while the children were out of the house, and I did raise my voice, telling her that I wasn't trying to screw anyone over, I was following exactly the boundaries I had set, as I should have from the beginning. Buddy came and picked me up, and I went and spent the night with my mother.
The next day I was informed that Molly had told our caseworker that I had bailed, and that the children were to be picked up the next day(all except Fiona, who would stay in Molly's care and eventually the possibility of Molly adopting her was discussed). That Friday was the court case which was to decide what was to happen with my mother. Molly had expressed throughout this entire process that she didn't want my mother to go to jail, and that she would do almost anything to keep her out. The prosecutors had also expressed that they didn't want her to get a full 3 year sentence. During the court proceedings, Molly was the only one in the room requesting the maximum sentence for my mother, and during her speech was consistently deadnaming and misgendering me, which no one else in the court room was doing. My mother walked out with a 60 day sentence, which wasn't terrible, but the damage was done to mine and Molly's relationship, seeing as it was already strained before I found out she had been lying to me for months about her stances on this. She and I had had several conversations about this, while I hated my mother and whole I was healing my relationship with her, and her stance of wanting her to stay out of jail had never wavered. I unfollowed her on most medias, but kept her unblocked on everything. Three days before I was supposed to leave, I realized that my leather jacket and my keys to my boyfriend's collar were still at her house, and I tried to contact her to ask for them back. I texted her twice, neither of which she responded to, and then Buddy called her. She claimed she hadn't seen them, but refused to let us come over to look for them, despite the fact that the last time I had seen either one was in the house because I had been too depressed to leave the house. She continuously refused to let me come check, or even let someone else come check, claiming that she didn't trust me to put things back the way they were, despite me never showing any inclination of touching anything that wasn't mine. I went to text her again on the matter and found that she had blocked me on all platforms. Shortly after this Fiona would start claiming the same things about me not actually wanting to end myself and just using it as an excuse, showing that she had been talking to Molly about this, and her views on pretty much everything shifted to Molly's views. This caused a rift to the point that while I have strong contact with my other siblings, I don't have much contact with Fiona.
I feel as though it was wrong to leave the children in the situation they were in, and I desperately wish I could have done more to help, but I knew that once I hit that mental state I was no longer safe to be around them and only ran the risk of traumatizing them further if I had stayed.

I ended the relationship with a friend because she kept rejecting every time I ask her to meet, and everybody thinks I'm the asshole
4 things before I start with the story First, english is not my first language and I haven't practiced in a long time. Second, I have avoidant attachment, which it's a important thing in this story. Third, the main characters are the girl, who I'll call morgana(f19), obviously fake name, my brother(m23), that is also friends with her, and me(m19). Lastly, I posted this before but got eliminated because I missed some basic rule(sorry I never post on reddit), so I'm gonna use this chance to do some corrections and clarifications, mostly about the way I phrased things and exagerated some.
Long story short, she's a friend from my brother's college, and I met her one day that I went with my brother to some hang out/reunion, I only wanted free drinks tbh lol, but my brother insisted that she had similar interests and that he saw us being friends. This happened on december of two years ago I think.
We bonded, and so we exchanged phone numbers. She was a lot more outgoing than me, and made some plan for us to go out, as an introverted person, who lost a lot of friends because of the quarantine, (they didn't die, just we were too anxious and depressed to talk lol) this was a new experience for me.
As the time went by, there were some instances in which I did disappear for a while, but nonetheless we were really good friends. On october last year, we made other plans to go out to watch a movie, Plans which she cancelled in the morning of the day we were supposed to go out, I really wasn't mad. On halloween, her friend group, including my brother, were having a party, apparently her parents didn't let her go to this so she was free, so I thought it would be a good chance to hang out, first, I ask her if she wanted to go to the cinema, but she refused bc the movie was gonna take to long and she didn't want to go to her house that late, so finally we decided to watch some scary videos while chatting on discord. After that she kinda started to ghost me for some hours until late in the night when she just told me "I'm going some place else"(she also send me some gifts and said nice thing, but the important part is that she just cancelled the plan only by saying that she was going somewhere else).
This time I did get angry, and send her some messages telling her that she made me feel like her backup plan, which up to a certain point I do think it's true. But because I was bored and needed someone to talk to, I kinda just started talking to her again and downplayed what she did.
The last time she cancelled a plan she did compromise to was on december of the same year, in which I was in a work related thing close to her house, so I just asked her meet up some place close, she accepted but told me that she was cleaning and as soon as she finishes she is going to tell me. 4 hours passed and she just tell me that she ended cleaning late and that she was sorry, but was going to go with her sister to eat or something, once again I wasn't mad.
After that I have to be honest and say that I did hold some resentment torwards her, that and the fact that I was pretty busy studying, just made my avoidant attachment worst and so we just kinda talked once or twice per month (which being honest sometimes happened before this but not as often). After that I just tried to go back to when the friendship was really good, but I still hold some resentment torwards her and she just kept rejecting everytime I proposed to hang out(Edit: It was only two times, I exagerated because I'm a dramatic person lol), I know this sound like I don't know how to take the hint, but, in my defense, she was constantly saying that she wanted to hang out with me, obviously she never tried to make plans, and everytime I did she just rejected them. (Edit: In this part I kinda exagerated, I only ask her to meet up twice I think, the ones explained in the next paragraphs, I made sound like it was a lot of times, but just twice.)
The breaking point was on february of this year, I bought her some valentine gifts as a friendship thing, (Edit: apparently some people thought this was weird, I truly don't get why because where I live it's pretty common to buy friendship gifts on valentine, plus, she had already send me some gifts on halloween claiming I was really good friend and important part of her life) I happened to go close to her house twice because a relative lives in the same area, so I asked her those two times to go to her house just to give her the gifts, it goes without saying, I got rejected again.
That last time I asked was on march(Edit: This was one of the two times I asked, not a different incident. I know, I write like a 12 year old complaining about fortnite or something lol) I think, just to give an idea of how much time I held to those shitty gifts I bought, because she refused to just lend me hand them to her. So, she kinda picked up the vibe that she was making me feel unaprecieted, or I think my brother told her because I did say to him how I was about to just stop talking to her if she kept on doing the same thing. So she tried to make some plans to make up for it, which honestly I would have accepted, but something in my mind just felt wrong, and I just couldn't make the resentment magically go away just because after like 6 months she decided that she should stop rejecting hanging out with me, or at least stop pretending she wanted to.
So I confronted her(Edit: I wasn't trying to fight, I just wanted her to know how I was feeling, I explained her the situationas calm as posible, but I did get angry with some of her responses to some things) being fully honest I was kind of hurtful, I did say one comment that was only to make her feel bad, I told her about her valentine gifts and how I was going to eat the chocolate and if the plushie hasn't been given to her in a week I was probably going to throw it in the garbage, and I blocked her, ( Edit: I read a comment saying that I shouldn't claim I was gonna block her and then block her, I didn't lol, I actually told her I needed some time to think if I wanted to keep the friendship, and then blocked her, as stated in the post, just to have time to think and not feel the need to talk to her, after that I unblocked her, which is stated in this paragrahp, but blocked her again as a final straw because she didn't wish me a happy birthday, it sounds petty, but she told my brother to tell me bc she didn't want to text me, even though my brother reassured her that I would have appreciated that, I thought it was the final straw, and also thought that the friendship was never gonna be the same) which apparently was what hurt her the most, because of some personal things that I wasn't aware of. I did unblocked her some time after that only to apologize for saying those things, and clarify that I only blocked her because I needed time to think and not feel the need to talk to her. (Edit: Part of the reasons I was hurtful is that she tried to justify herself by saying things I knew were lies, most remarkable saying that she didn't hang out with anybody during the time she didn't meet up with me, which was a lie because my brother did hang out with her, and her whatsapp stories did show her out couple of times, I don't watch stories, so I only know the times the preview story show her out, which was once or twice. Not justifying my actions, I acted like an asshole and I regret it)
Basically, everybody thinks I'm the asshole because of my avoidant attachment how that has ruined some of my previous friendships. (Edit: I did present some moments of avoidant attachment, through the whole friendship, but we always went back to talking as normal and friendly as usual. For the people that thought I was obsessed with her, after reading the original post I understand it, but as I said before, I exagerated a lot. Lastly, I don't think I misjudged the closeness we had, because she sent me gifts once in a while, and as said before sent me a halloween gift claiming I was an important part of her life. Last clarification, the amount of time I asked her to meet up where 3, technically 4 but on halloween she also planned it with me so i'm not counting it, the three times she cancelled last minute 2 of them were her ideas to meet, and the last three times were my idea to meet.) (Last edit: The reason I brought avoidant attachment its because she vaguely told me in the last fight that she felt that talking to me was like talking to a wall because of how long I could disappear, she also told her in more detail to my brother that my avoidant attachment made her feel bad. Now, since the beginning of the friendship I tried to prioritize communication and being open with each other about things that bother us, that's why since the beginning of the friendship I warn her that I had AA and that if she didn't like that we could be just casual friends and not try to get more close, she told me that it was ok and she just didn't mind, I would have expected that if she started to dislike that part of me she could have told me and I would have tried twice as harder to beat my AA or at least try to talk to her really often, but instead she didn't said anything and kept on acting like we were as close as we were on the best moments of our friendship).
I wanna know if this was my fault or If I acted in a poor way, before the final confrontation. Plus some people express that maybe the relantionship can be saved, if we both take time to express both of our feelings so... ¿what do you guys think?
TLDR: I ended the relationship with a friend because she kept rejecting every time I ask her to meet, and everybody thinks I'm the asshole because I have avoidant attachment