Hi guys. I was drinking 5-8 drinks over half a day and taking 850-1000mg of soma a night. I was doing mild amounts of cocaine over the half day for a significant amount of time (5+ months)
Was hacking my way out daily with peptides and iv nurses.
Quit both cold turkey 15 days ago. Was rough. Very rough. Has gotten much better . Was in intense fears.
I tapered the soma over 11 days. I’m in the 3rd day of no soma now. And today I’m having weird mood swings all over. Fatigue. Insomnia constantly. Get tired bounce right back up.
Having mild hallucinations when falling asleep. Voices even.
Did I taper too fast? I could find a taper schedule anywhere on line.
I don’t have any fear or paranoia or terror / anxiety thought like during the firdtm 7-8 days or so from the alcohol and the cocaine withdrawals. The cocaine was maybe 6-9 lines. I’d go the a 1/8 in 45+ days.
Thanks so much

This is long, but im praying someone reads it. At the moment and for many years now, I've lived without an outlet. My pure wife who's barely touched a sip of alcohol doesn't know how to handle it. Somehow, by God's grace we have been married nearly 18 years. But I have nobody to reach out towards. I've never clicked with counselors and they've diagnosed me with bipolar, OCD, General anxiety, Depression, PTSD, ADDHD and probably a few other labels. Medicines don't work and just cause unwanted symptoms. I'm not sure I believe the doctors and the diagnosises just mess with my head. I know one thing --- nobody has helped me but Jesus. But I'm desperate for freedom and someone to be acountable to. I don't know what's wrong with me, but I'm 43 and am instantly addicted to anything.
I lived a life of absolute decadence from the age of 16 to 23, when a combo of oxycontin, Xanax, alcohol and cocaine put me into a coma of some sorts. The details are obviously hazy to my mind, but my parents and friends remember the duration differently. Over the years I've lost my family to cancer and 12 friends to drug related issues. I never knew how to grieve or get through it as my life has been so busy with mission trips, public speaking, and later schooling in a bachelor's and 2 master degrees....and I count those degrees as nothing more than expensive toilet paper.
I went to a rehab at 23 in 2003 and became the most (overly) conservative Christian you could imagine. But I was free from substances until dad passed in 2011. Then, believe it or not, it was caffeine that started me back down the dark road to substance abuse. I hurt my back around the same time and went to a doctor who proscribed me 30 hydrocodone 10mg, and 30 Somas. Each with 3 refills. I KNEW I'd be a fool to fill them. I took a dose maybe 2 times and flushed it all down the toilet. I called the doc and pharmacy to cancel my refills and never let me get those pill bottles in my hand again. I was free of them.....but they're wasn't an hour of the day I didn't think about them till I hurt my back a year later. This time I took the meds for about a year till the doc stopped writing them. Then I was a madman, looking for something to fill that addictive itch, so a doc prescribed me Adderall since I was going back to school at 30. I also popped opiates where I could find them. This went on for years.
All this time I'm preaching at churches and looked at as some sort of a golden example for victory in addiction towards the youth. My testimony was on religious TV and periodicals. I felt like a total sham. The few pastors I opened up to said things like "the Spirit is working in your life. Hang in there. You were born to preach" --- which I have no doubt of. But they didn't understand my struggle as they never had been addicts.
A couple years later someone suggested Methadone to eliminate my opiate and amphetamine addiction and alcohol dabbling. Well it did. But it addicted me to something far greater. In the meantime I'm on and off SSRIs of every type and all they did was develop anxiety and excentuate bi polar & OCD like thinking....those are the diagnosis I believe the most. But maybe they are also substance induced. Who knows?
To get off methadone, I used Kratom, which in the beginning seemed like a safe, natural godsend. But that was 9 years ago. While Kratom has substituted opiates, alcohol, amphetamines and helps me with depression, it has also become an addiction that has me in an iron grip. When I quit it (and I've tried 5 times), each time I enter the darkest depression and confusion to the point my poor wife begs me not to stop taking kratom as it has brought stability. Last time (1 month ago) I quit with Zyn packets. Dumb. Now I take Kratom, Zyn and for the last year klonopin for my anxiety which has reached heights to where I fear going outside.
All this time I've been involved in ministry and I have tried to back away from it but God keeps putting people in my path that He actually helps through my guidance....I just can't seem to follow my own advice. My devotional life has always been strong, but it makes me question God's power in my life if I can't shake these addictions and mental problems. I'm currently head elder and in charge of a dorm full of teenage boys. I'm praise constantly for my sermons and "amazing" influence on the teenagers I work with.....but the praise literally makes me sick at my stomach as I feel like a failure. In fact, I think I am one. These paradoxes are driving me crazy as I do believe in victory in Jesus. I've experienced it, howbeit I don't wanna go back to my fanatical Christianity I initially had as I see that behavior had become my new addiction. Back then I'd study for 6 hours straight, had a stringent John thr Baptist diet (minus bugs lol - just ultra vegan) and I was a judgmental jerk of a Christian.
One positive is this whole experience has cured me of wanting fame as preacher, missionary, etc and of judging others sins...because how could I? I'm doing my devotions right now with my first of 3 or 4 4 gram kratom doses of the day and a 6mg Zyn in my lip.
I love Jesus and His word more than my own life. But when I stop any of the 3 things I'm using currently (klonopin, Kratom and Zyn), I fall apart with the worst physical and mental withdrawals imaginable. And I am in the public eye constantly. I live as a head Dean in Christian boarding school and am head elder of a big church. I've seen miracle conversions and dozens upon dozens of guys look up to me and tell me I'm a great influence in their lives. Parents love me. All this scares the hell out of me. They don't know me! Each day scares me and if it weren't for Christ and the Word, I'd probably kill myself directly or go off the deep end and die from heavy substance abuse.
Jesus, I know you see me. But please give me answers. I'm in my 40s and scared. I'm alone without human support and need someone who understands. I WANT TO BE SET FREE. Is this my lot? Is it the thorn in my flesh? So many theories go through my head. I am wearied with thinking about it. I don't even name the substances in prayer anymore, I just ask God to fix my gaze on Jesus as mentioning those things just reminds me of them.
Thank you to whomever had the patience to read this.

I’ve felt quite disoriented and atomised lately, just feeling as if I’m away from the world and disconnected from myself and others. It took me little reflection to realise it’s just from overwhelming my brain with my parasitic phone scrolling and my unhealthy dependence on playing music whenever I’m out walking. Browsing this awful app doesn’t help obviously, and the general polarisation and toxic aura I gather from online doesn’t help either. But in some sense to feel connection and arrange connections you go online despite it being a double bind.
It’s doubtless that we’re all addicted, and it definitely feels like the greatest challenge for our generation is to avoid overstimulation. It’s so easy to use it to unwind from work or stress. However, my greatest moods and clarity and organisation in the last few years have come in times where I’ve been without my smartphone for hours or days at a time. We bring our smartphones everywhere-on the toilet, eating, out with friends, at work, waiting for the bus, it’s just constantly in my pocket, haunting me. It’s rare that we’re even present, embodied. I feel like with the ‘vibe shift’ so many people speak about online—a lot of it is just to do with having unlimited and unfettered access to smartphones and it becoming an extended part of your human body & psyche.
When I browse I feel disembodied and disconnected from myself. I don’t feel my body or my deeper thoughts. It’s just this constant anhedonic state of laying still, staring downwards and scrolling. My executive functioning has become completely dysregulated, making minor tasks just feel like a chore. When I’m overstimulated it feels like someone has this tight grip on the back of my neck, and my facial muscles tighten up, and I lose feeling in my legs. I can’t get up, I can’t reach out, I don’t want to reach out into the real world—it’s like a temporary mental block is placed deep in my psyche when I’m scrolling. It feels like we’re holding in these deep traumas in the body and compensating for it with the ‘muscular armour’ that Wilhelm Reich wrote about, our postures and body language becomes rigid and tightened and our true feelings become more repressed. The ‘iPad kid posture meme’ is our new reality.
I wonder, how much of this overstimulation is related to the current mass epidemic of depression? Especially as it becomes harder and harder to avoid all of this overstimulation and requirement to be online as phones become a mandatory part of everyday existence (Microsoft Authenticator app, WhatsApp chats, having to be reachable by call, virtual banking etc). This seems part of the problem, in order to succeed in career and society you need to absorb and contribute to the fast information flows, you have to participate in it. It’s created this constant libidinal drain on the soul that you’re chained to, a state of ‘non-being’ so you can validate your existence in society.
Franco Berardi and Paul Virlio warned about ‘info-labour’, ‘info-bomb’ and the resultant ‘cognitive suffering’ from the rise of semio-capitalism in the 90’s and they predicted it would lead to a collapse amongst young people, and I think we’re seeing the effects of that mental collapse now. What we’re left with is hyperaroused, dopamine-fuelled bodies—which unable to take the cognitive strain of the acceleration of cyberspace or release energy, become anxious and depressed bodies. There’s this feeling like we’ve lost our sense of relevance and reality, our ability to organise and make meaningful commitments and our ability to maintain stable moods and long structured thought. We’re totally engaged online but yet set apart from it all, away from physical space and losing our time. A disassociation of mind and body.
Tiktok is the worst incarnation of the cyberspace nightmare, with its manipulative design—mimicking television with full screen video and channels, phone time blocked out, endless content and a blur of visual and audio. How much our time, energy, attention, mental and bodily awareness and cognition is being stolen? The worst aspect of phones and internet for me is that the feelings of contentment and settlement are completely stripped away along with your agency. How Gen Z has adapted to this? Adderall, caffeine abuse, gym and fitness masochism, SSRIs or just accept pure indulgence in dopamine pleasure-‘oedIpod consumer bliss’ as fisher calls it, ‘Soma’ as seen in science fiction, crawling back into the womb of the technological mother (porn, video games, VR, weed, alcohol, MDMA, cocaine)- this all leads back to an empty pit.
As Berardi wrote:

“Do not forget that your brain functions in time, and needs time in order to give attention and understanding. But attention cannot be infinitely accelerated. Marx described a crisis of overproduction in industrial capitalism—when production surpasses demand, an excess workforce is fired, who in turn have less money to buy products, resulting in an overall effect of economic decline. In the sphere of semiocapital, however, overproduction is linked to the relation between the amount of semiotic goods being produced in relation to the amount of attentive time being disposed of. You can accelerate attention by taking amphetamines, for instance, or using other techniques or drugs that give you the possibility of being more attentive, more productive in the field of attention. But you know how it ends.”

Probably the best Non-DaD Related Episode yet. Much sex talk, Jay & Donny STD worries, Soma Cocaine Backstory, Jay Clubbing, Bidet water spraying between the cheeks, and Apocalypse Survival.
Rating: 10/10

I just learned from watching NM Bodycam channel on Youtube that New Mexico State Police are also commissioned by Homeland Security (Federal). This is a big deal when there is a difference between State law and Federal law.
In New Mexico, cannabis is legal for both medical use and adult recreational use.
Federally, cannabis is an illegal Schedule 1 drug (DEA).
​
Schedule 1: high potential for abuse, no accepted medical use.
Schedule 2: high potential for abuse, accepted medical use.
Schedule 3: less potential for abuse, accepted medical use.
Schedule 4: less potential for abuse, accepted medical use.
​
Schedule 1: marijuana, heroin, LSD, ecstasy, and magic mushrooms.
Schedule 2: cocaine, meth, oxycodone, Adderall, Ritalin, and Vicodin.
Schedule 3: Tylenol with codeine, ketamine, anabolic steroids, and testosterone.
Schedule 4: Xanax, Soma, Darvocet, Valium, and Ambien.
​
Normally, NM State Police need consent from the driver in order to search the vehicle. However, since NMSP are also Homeland Security agents, they simply need to say they smell cannabis, and they now have probable cause to search the vehicle and do not need the driver's consent.

hi all just having a rant... tried to kill my self three times this last couple of weeks... once on the 17th took 50 750mg soma tablets.. woke in hospital.. then on the 19th i took 45 300mg lyrica and woke in the hospital again... this time with unbearable kidney pain... then about 10 mins ago i injected a snowball of very high quality flake cocaine mixed with very clean afghan herione... i just spent last few mins seizing on the bed ey eyes would snap back from the h and i felt my body go limp only for eyes to come back down so i could see again with my whole body shaking violently whilst the coke did its thing... i think kinda paradoxically they cancelled eatch other out one taking me too far in one direction then the other countering and pulling me in the opp direction was terryfying roller coaster ride for bout 3 mins ive never been that scared i think if i injected that dose of just one or the other either would have killed me... ive been clean since sept of last year so figured since my first two attempts didnt work out and considering ive lost tolerance to h and c i really thought that snowball would do it,,, im honestly shocked im still alive and must admit disaapointed though im extremley high... hihest ive ever felt... but yeah just in shock was not expecting to be typing this....

hi all just having a rant... tried to kill my self three times this last couple of weeks... once on the 17th took 50 750mg soma tablets.. woke in hospital.. then on the 19th i took 45 300mg lyrica and woke in the hospital again... this time with unbearable kidney pain... then about 10 mins ago i injected a snowball of very high quality flake cocaine mixed with very clean afghan herione... i just spent last few mins seizing on the bed ey eyes would snap back from the h and i felt my body go limp only for eyes to come back down so i could see again with my whole body shaking violently whilst the coke did its thing... i think kinda paradoxically they cancelled eatch other out one taking me too far in one direction then the other countering and pulling me in the opp direction was terryfying roller coaster ride for bout 3 mins ive never been that scared i think if i injected that dose of just one or the other either would have killed me... ive been clean since sept of last year so figured since my first two attempts didnt work out and considering ive lost tolerance to h and c i really thought that snowball would do it,,, im honestly shocked im still alive and must admit disaapointed though im extremley high... hihest ive ever felt... but yeah just in shock was not expecting to be typing this.... like wtf really?

Dimitri: Ketamine Dedue: Homemade edibles Sylvain: Gas station dick pills Ingrid: Benzos Felix: Catnip Ashe: Kratom Annette: Enough Adderall to kill an African elephant Mercedes: Ambien Rodrigue: Unfiltered Lucky Strikes
Edelgard: Got passed the bong once and drank the bong water. Never got invited back Hubert: Ether Ferdinand: Cocaine Caspar: Preworkout Petra: Peyote Bernadetta: Inhalants Dorothea: Molly Linhardt: Lethally concentrated dabs Monica: Crack
Claude: Spice (the Dune kind) Hilda: Dab pen Lorenz: Poppers Lysithea: Spice (the K2 kind) Marianne: Lexapro Raphael: PCP Ignatz: Psilocybin Leonie: Resin Holst: You'd think mushrooms, but actually Almyran opium
Yuri: Jesse Pinkman's signature Chili P Hapi: Salvia Balthus: Pruno Constance: Her own research chemicals
Byleth: Percocet Shez: Whip its
Rhea: Oxycontin Seteth: Snuff Flayn: Laudanum Manuela: Xanax Hanneman: Heroin Jeritza: Airplane glue Cyril: Pixy Stix
Shamir: Hash Catherine: Quaaludes Gilbert: Old Grand-Dad 114 Jeralt: Somas Alois: Coors Light

‘‘Twas the night before outside lands
Quiet from fi-di to the outer sunset sands
Friends show up with all their gear Embracing the ones we are lucky enough to call dear
Chat now with the friends What shows will you see Your itinerary… if you please?
Now how much will it be. Molly, Cocaine, Shrooms & LSD. And will there be a she?
For those with the woman previously planned Represent us men well, for you are her chosen man.
And for those who search begins later tonight
May you find an absolute delight
Enjoy yourselves and dance Find yourself in the soma tent trance
Have fun to all And if ye hear this call
Remember the magical descents
For at Outside lands you are bound to experience a spiritual event.

Hey everyone! I have a couple questions abour medication response, based on previous responses to medication.
I just had my first two ketamine infusions, one being 0.4mg/kg, and the one this morning being 0.5mg/kg. I’ve has the strongest response from this treatment than from any i’ve had at all. This morning i went through an event after my infusion that reminded me of a traumatic event, it really scared me, not knowing why i was upset because of the effect of the ketamine.
My psychiatrist walked into the room and saw me crying, and i told her the situation that had occurred, she started to ask me a few questions, ending in a realization it made me remember a traumatic event, and since she helped me through it during, and made my reaction seem normal, i think it’s not going to bother me anymore.
I’d usual get mad at a person not involved in what triggered me, but rhis time i had a natural reaction and cryed, feeling pure pain without a hostile reaction. I’m so proud of myself and i’m so happy ketamine is working for me. Yes i’m on a fairly low dose, but it’s already working very well. It’s helping with my anxiety, depression, and drug cravings since the first infusion, and now trauma.
My question is, is there any medications that you can take daily that working on the same receptors as ketamine without the psychoactive effect? Anything that i could use so the periods between infusions where my symptoms come back, or somerhing i could use for maintenance so i wouldn’t have to get infusions as regularly as the usual one month?
I’m thinking about maybe selegiline, patch form, 6mg so no dietary restrictions or hypertensive crisis (yes i know it’s not that bad but i’d rather not go through it or risk it), if you have any recommendations please share!
Diagnosis i have: • Treatment Resistant Generalized Anxiety Disorder • Traatment Resistant Depression • Social Phobia • Panic Disorder • Post Traumatic Stress Disorder • Substance/Opioid Use Disorder • Attention Deficit-Hyperactivity Disorder Type 2 • Chronic Insomnia • Irritable Bowel Syndrome Type M • Gastroesophageal Reflux Disorder • Gilbert’s Syndrome • Was Misdiagnosed With Bipolar 1 Disorder During Substance Abuse, Now Not Diagnosed
I’ve trialed 30 medications as of now. Those being: • Benzos: 2mg qd + 2mg did Lorazepam (Ativan), 0.25mg prn Alprazolam (Xanax), 0.25mg qd + 0.5mg did Clonazepam ODT (Klonopin Wafers), and 1.75-5mg a day Clonazepam (Klonipin) • Z-Drugs: 5mg Sonata (Zaleplon) • Gabapentinoids: 300-3,600mg a day Neurontin (Gabapentin) • Antidepressant: 5-20mg qd Escitalopram (Lexapro), 30-60mg qd Duloxetine (Cymbalta DR), 12.5-50mg qd Trazodone (Desyrel), 150mg qd Bupropion (Wellbutrin XL), and 7.5mg qd Mirtazapine (Remeron) • Antipsychotics: 25-400mg qd + 25mg tid Quetiapine (Seroquel), 300mg qd Quetiapine ER (Seroquel ER) 5mg qd Olanzapine ODT (Zyprexa Zydus), 2.5-10mg a day Asenapine Maleate (Saphris) • Mood Stabilizers: 250-750mg a day Sodium Valproate DR (Depakote DR), 1,000mg qd Sodium Valproate ER (Depakote ER), 300mg did Lithium Carbonate ER (Lithobid) • Stimulants: 20-30mg qd Mixed Amphetamine Salts ER (Adderall XR), 7.5-15mg qd Mixed Amphetamine Salts IR (Adderall IR), 20-35mg a day Dextroamphetamine Sulfate SR (Dexedrine Spansules) • Medication Assisted Treatment: 25mg qd Naltrexone (Revia), 2-12mg a day Buprenorphine/Naloxone (Suboxone), 8.6/2.1mg qd Buprenorphine/Naloxone (Zubsolv) • Atypical Anxiolytics: 187-266mg a day Medical Marijuana, 50mg tid Hydroxyzine HCL (Atarax), 10-40mg qd Propranolol (Inderal), 5mg did Buspirone (Buspar), 50mcg qd Clonidine (Catapres) • Dissociative Anesthetics: 0.4-0.5mg/kg Intravenous Ketamine (Ketalar)
As well as these medications for anxiety-related ibs: Antiemetics: 4-12mg tid Ondansetron (Zofran), 2-4mg a day Lorazepam (Ativan), 4-8mg tid Ondansetron ODT (Zofran ODT), 25mg did Promethazine (Phenergan), 1mg did Granisetron (Kytril), and 300mg qd Trimethobenzamide (Tigan) Antacids: 1g did Sucralfate (Carafate), 40mg qd Omeprazole (Prilosec), and 40mg qd Famotidine (Pepcid) Gut Antispasmodics: 20mg did Dicyclomine (Bentyl), and 0.125mg did Hyoscyamine Sulfate (Levsin SL)
I’m currently on the following: 20mg Dexedrine Spansules q8am 15mg Dexedrine Spansules q12pm 8.6/2.1mg Zubsolv q3pm 50mcg Catapres qhs 40mg Famotidine qhs
I currently have these meds as prn: 0.125mg Levsin SL did 300mg Tigan
“Recreational” Drugs I Use: Caffeine Vaping Smoking (Cigarettes)
Drugs I Mainly Used When I Active Abused Drugs: (Three Months Sober Tomorrow • Fentanyl (Smoked) (Daily) • Meth (Smoked) (Daily) • Cocaine (Insufflated) (Daily) • Weed (Smoked/Vaped/Oral) (Daily) • Klonopin (Insufflated) (Daily) • Alcohol (Oral) (Daily) • Dilaudid(Insufflated) (Weekly) • Opana (Insufflated) (Weekly) • Phenobarbital (Oral/IN) (Weekly) • Propylhexedrine (PO) (Weekly) • MDMA (Snorted/Bombed) (Biweekly) • LSD (Sublingual) (Biweek/monthly)
Drugs I Used When I Started Using: • Soma (Oral) (Daily) • Flexeril (Oral) (Twice Weekly) • Hycodan (Oral) (Every Other Day) • Ultram (Oral) (Every Other Day) • Oxycodone (Oral) (Daily) • Meth (Insufflated/Smoked) (Weekly) • Vyvanse (Oral) (Weekly) • Ambien (Oral) (2-3x Weekly) • Weed (Vaped/Smoked/Oral) (Daily) • Alcohol (Oral) (Weekly) • Xanax (Oral/Ate) (Daily) • LSD (Sublingual) (Every 2 Months)

My one and only Grateful Dead west coast tour began like it should when you're an east coaster, by driving a 1978 Dodge van cross country, taking your time so you can visit the house where John Wayne was born in Winterset Iowa, yes I was there and it was everything you'd expect it to be, plenty of John Wayne postcards and a life size cardboard cutout of the duke himself. This was the same route I would take back east except in a Greyhound bus and one I'll never forget much like the entire month I spent out west in June of 1994.
The trip out was wonderful even with its mindless and unspectacular scenery because I was 19 going cross country on a Grateful Dead Tour and the romance of it all was pretty thick then so as you can imagine its grown to a full blown nostalgic legend for me now. Once we got to Wyoming the landscape started to get really interesting and I'll never forget crossing into California and seeing the bikes coming on one of those long western roads. We're going 50-60mph and probably the same for them and once they started, they didn't end for over 30 min. I don't' know if it was just a HUGE biker gang out for a drive or they were heading to Sturgis but it blew our minds. We also saw a massive female biker gang, at least 500 strong probably also going to Sturgis. I would look at my buddy and it was spine wild thinking "ok we're in California now!"
It was one cheap ass motel after another and for me each one was the Ritz. My buddy was a grower and brought at least a few ounces so we were high from morning to night and the tape collection was massive. The blue van looked like it could've been a paint roller job but inside there were speakers ridiculously large for such a small space. My buddy laid carpet so even the roof was carpeted and the whole back was filled with supplies but I didn't bring nearly enough clothes and not nearly enough money. Like "I'm sure $300 will be enough and it'll have to do cuz that's all I could get" ... I still remember it being months & weeks out from leaving and I would be getting $50 eighths of weed. Ya know I really could've used that money on that month long trip out west ... but at 19 I knew it all
The first three shows at Cal Expo had us meeting up with this great couple and their friend we met at the spring Florida shows. I met Charles in Orlando where I got tear gassed indirectly in that a few grains got in my eye from canisters released on the other side of the arena over some deadhead/police incident. I was tripping balls (surprise) and my eyes starts burning really really bad and was accentuated by the acid and I start freaking out. I didn't have to wait for a miracle because there was a big concrete fountain I used to wash it away. Charles was a madman, on show day in Orlando he had his blender in the motel and right before we left for the lots he made a strawberry daiquiri and threw in an quarter of mushrooms, TEN DOSES, Rufinol and Somas. He justified it by saying

We'll all drink it !

but guess what? everyone was scared as shit of it and I didn't see anyone take a sip even though he was offering that thing all day. No joke here my friends, by 4pm and about half was gone he was drooling significantly and his girlfriend kept saying

Charles you're drooling!!! Charles you're drooling again !!! Charles wipe your mouth !!!!

and it was strands of drool not just little bits ... Charles overdid it
on and on and I've never seen tripping eyes like it before or since. They were lit up and I don't think he could close his mouth because he was a spigot of drool all day ... That was just Orlando so we all head to Miami where we stayed at Charles's house !!! there were ten of us and it was willld I'm a Wharf Rat now but I was ready to do anything in those days and Charles called "cocaine delivery" and it was there in 30min. This guy literally had a business card. What was great about that trip is we were coming from up north after a long ass winter and it was 75 degrees at night with warm breezes and palm trees
Ok back to Cal Expo ... great three days and we stayed at a campground and got a eye opener as to the homeless problem in Cali as dozens of people were living there in tents, families etc ... after Cal Expo in Sacramento we decided to skip the Seattle shows because of the long drive and took the next seven days to slowly head towards Eugene. My touring buddy could be a jerk but one good thing is he loved to sight see and go to national parks so on that trip we went to Yellowstone and stayed two nights but what blew my mind was Oregon and how as soon as we crossed in the trees got huge but that was nothing compared to Sequoia National Forest. I'm sure you all know but these trees are big around as a house and my friends make it a bucket list thing!
So it was a lot of driving and a lot of listening to tapes and smoking weed regularly. I never thought til long after that we never thought about getting stopped but it really helped us in that we were on the west coast so crazy looking people and Grateful Dead vehicles were everywhere.
The day before the first show in Eugene we find another cheap ass motel and we wake on 6/17/94, turn on the tv and there's a white Bronco rolling down the highway followed by many police ....

OJ SIMPSON??? WTF?

I still remember me and my buddy just blown away because we hadn't watched any news in so long we were out of the loop. We were huge football fans so we know all about OJ. We go through the channels and it's breaking news on every one. The NBA finals had an early day game and the game was put in a tiny box in the upper left of the screen and OJ was top billing! yeah it was a huge deal at the time ...
So yeah yeah yeah all weird but we gotta leave for Eugene. There was something different about the Eugene family crowd and the 'feeling' of the lots ... The Further bus was there if I remember correct but my main order of business was trying to make money to keep going so I was mixing rice, beans and corn in a bin to put in burritos, wrap in foil for the classic lot "silver bombers" ... my friends ... this was not a sanitary operation. The best thing I could think of for some kind of seasoning was cayenne pepper and maybe salt but I can't remember. It wasn't easy to sell them because there was so much food everywhere so I was always walking around w' the little red wagon I brought.
This was the best job I ever had in my life! I was selling burritos while in the middle of the Grateful Dead carnival and we were the 'carnies' ... We were the modern day equivalent of hobos jumping trains across America and we made ourselves at home anywhere and everywhere ... it was so exciting on an off day where you pull into a rest stop and see a line of VW buses and ramshackle deadheads w' their dogs everywhere ... we were all connected and there was always smiles and hellos between us.
Eugene had this rare thing where you could bring a cooler right in the show so you would see people pulling grapes and other fruit & drinks out. I envied them ... The sound system was incredible w' these towers of speakers on forklifts midway out and the quality of that sound was better than any other concert I ever saw, but this goes for every Dead show I saw. You might have heard they were really into high quality sound systems. We had true Oregon weather w' rain one day, overcast and the last day was hot and beautiful ... all three of those shows were killer, they brought the magic to Eugene and the last day was 1of the best I ever saw. 6/19/94 hit everyone hard and the 2nd set was

• Scarlet>Fire Samson - Way2gohome - Playin>UJB D/S>Other One>Wharf Rat>Good Lovin Knockin encore ...

It was one of those 94 S>Fs w' a 22min Fire. The monster UJB end jam had the only 'mosh pit' I ever saw at a Dead show. I was Phil side even with the stage so I was looking out over 90k people and the jam was going so hard that a group of around 100 people were dancing so hard they were bumping into each other and I took notice. So in the middle someone falls down and it was like bowling pins and half all fell down over each other ... it got Phil's attention and he focused on it until everyone got back on their feet ... what a show (check out the FOTM, UJB and the Other One>Wharf Rat at least).
The tension w' my buddy was building w' my lack of money even though it didn't affect him at all. The 2nd day he told me "if you don't give me the money for your tix before the show I'm selling them" now this was supposedly a good friend of mine mind you. THEN he remembers that I had already paid for the tix when we did mail order months before. He gives me a smile and I didn't return it, just a look of disgust. At that moment he was no longer a friend ...
NSFW: This is icky my friends but it's a reality show story about life on the road so here goes. At the end of a big three day/night stand like this the porto shitters were FULL. The cleaning crews were mia and it's Monday morning and we're ready to head to Vegas and I go for a pit stop. There was a line of at least 50 and I start opening and in EACH ONE there's a pyramid of crap. There was no where else to go so you had to stand up on either side, squat and put the cherry on top so you can imagine what was inevitable and the last one I tried showed this reality. Someone had slipped and they went in. I let the door slam to check my hands and I hear guys 100ft away "oh dude omg etc" I walk towards and they tell me they witnessed this 20min ago. It goes like this, the guy fell out and in the fall his arm went in all the way to the shoulder and his ass 'cut off' that pyramid and it was plumped on the floor. He was covered and gets up to wipe off the cake on his arm. They didn't get too close but asked if he was ok and the poor guy looked to be hungover ... The only thing he could do was strip naked, use his cloths to 'clean off' but they said it just spread it around. He kept saying "I can't believe this" ... He walks toward this thoroughfare with hundreds of people and like Moses and the red sea they parted to let him through. There were no showers and I can only hope this poor guy had his own car because if he was a road dog hitching on a bus I can't imagine they let him ride. Yeah very icky but this was the road and all sorts of things happened ...
Then we head to Vegas which broke me and ended my tour w' my buddy ... He had the brilliant idea of CAMPING IN LAS VEGAS IN LATE JUNE ! We arrive at a KOA (Kampgrounds of America) at 3am and they had this big digital temp and it was 91'. That 'dry heat' thing is bullshit btw ... By 7am it was 101' and by 9am 110' and by 10am it was 115' and we HAD TO FLEE! There was not even a question, it was "we have to leave NOW" ... what we didn't know, or anyone for that matter was that in June of 94 Vegas had a top five heat wave that stands to this day. I don't know how the 78 Dodge van made it w'o overheating because we had to idle waiting to get in the dusty ass lots ... rewind to leaving the KOA ... we were WAY off the strip and found one of the grimiest motels ever and it's name was ... Ru ready for it? ...

Adult Movies

like on the big sign, Adult Movies what a name for a motel ... Porn on every channel and we didn't even think about the 'bedding' being all muffed up when we walked in ... no cleaning going on there ... The AC was wonderful but made it even more like hell as soon as we step out. It was like standing in an oven.
To say it was oppressive is an understatement. We finally get to the lots and everyone was miserable and I've never seen so much nudity at a show. men and women fully nude and no one cared because it was so hot that was nothing. Btw my lack of clothes and no washing machines ever had me rank af. Now I spent whatever money I had on acid and shrooms so drinking water was out the window. I don't know how I didn't pass out because I felt like death the whole time. I was most certainly in severe heat exhaustion and severely dehydrated. I remember drinking water from the spigot in the Adult Movies paradise and that was about it. Each day in the huge outdoor stadium was over 120 and the hottest was officially 123'... I heard later that the middle of the floor was hitting 140 and people were dropping left and right. They put out a five alarm thing to get as many firetrucks as possible to spray the floor. To add insult to injury the first two shows were not good and the 2nd was just mean and cruel look at what they did to us.
By then I had a shingles outbreak on my forehead which I never had before and I didn't know what was going on but the nerve pain was shooting over my scalp. The tension w' me and my buddy was peaking and by the 3rd day we were barely speaking. The one positive thing was the 3rd night they put on a great show w' a killer setlist ... I felt so shitty and really needed to be hospitalized lol. My buddy was pissed cuz I spent too much time after the show trying to sell sodas and burritos and no one wanted a foil bomb in that heat. People were also grabbing my soda out of my wagon and just running which sucked so hard. Every time I saw one running away my heart sank.
So we're driving through the desert to the tour enders in Shoreline and the sun's coming up and my buddy loses it saying "we'll never make it though this heat w'o the van overheating" except it didn't the whole time in Vegas so he was insane w' that. He pulls off an exit like a madman and it's the saddest Cali desert town I've ever seen and just lays down in the back of the van purposely spreading out so I had no where to lay down. I was exhausted and couldn't take anymore. While he was sleeping I gathered what I could and start walking ... I find there's a Greyhound station at the next exit and had to call home to get money wired to a western union ... I got a motel room for $4!!! and it was the shittiest ever. It was 10am, my bus left at midnight and I slept til 11 and it was so sorely needed ...
The bus ended up being half full of deadheads heading back east and like me they all seemed destroyed by Vegas. I sat w' a cool kid and we end up tripping (what a shock). The bus ride ended up being really great and exciting and really a fitting ending to my one and only GD west coast trip. It took me weeks to recover and when home I get a call from my buddy "hey you owe me $40 for a Shoreline ticket". I then set about working to tour by myself and I managed to see 6 fall shows by myself and my dog 'Jerry' (that I ground scored at the Miami spring shows), and saw 5 in 95. I was at the last in Chicago and so excited for my big future of seeing shows alone w' Jerry ... and my dog too ...

One good ride from start to end I'd like to take that ride again 🙂⚡

(So I’ve never really used reddit before so if I am doing something wrong or posting this in the wrong sub I can delete it)
[edited a mistake about LSD]
The CIA has been involved in the illicit drug trade for many decades all over the world. They destabilized governments, supplied weapons to crime syndicates, smuggled drugs, manufactured domestic drug problems while purposefully distributing the drugs to poor communities to validate the claims. They’ve been making billions off this and it goes straight into their own funding.
South America, the Middle East and the Golden Triangle of Asia were where the primary “communist” liberations took place. While maybe communism was spreading to these places it was a perfect excuse for the CIA to slip in and take over the drug businesses. Many of the places the US got involved in during the cold war happened to be top drug cultivating regions. Estimates of the illicit drug trade is between 300-500 billions dollars, for reference the legal (pharmaceutical) drug trade being about that profitable as well.
Below is an article written exposing the CIA of their drug ties as well as their possible involvement of AIDS. While the article is available elsewhere, I found it in the CIA FOIA archives, worth checking out. (As far as AIDS goes just take a look at the data of animal abuse. Millions of cases going back thousands of years. While it is completely disgusting in its own right, animal abuse never caused AIDS in all the human history since or after AIDS was manufactured)
https://www.cia.gov/readingroom/docs/CIA-RDP90-00845R000100170001-8.pdf
Albert Hofmann synthesized LSD which became a choice drug for human experimentation and mind control but there is a drug used by the CIA that has been kept more secret, one which takes the user on even more bizarre and deeper esoteric journeys.
That drug is the Amanita Muscaria, the famous red and white capped mushrooms.
What is the significance of the amanita?
Amanita Muscaria usage goes back to ancient times and is one of the central entheogens of religious and cultic experience for Mesopotamia, Egypt, Mayans, Aztecs, Judaism, early Christianity, Celts, Russians, Hinduism, Buddhism, Norse and many more cultures, groups like the followers of Dionysus and the Hashashim and religions both ancient and more recent, pretty much everywhere it grew the use of the mushroom bore a highly religious importance. Keep in mind Amanita Muscaria is a completely different species than Psilocybin mushrooms and induces different trips. We’ll be looking at Psilocybin first so bear with me.
How does these mushrooms connect to the CIA?
A man by the name of Gordon Wasson started to take particular interest in hallucinogenic mushrooms and made frequent trips to various places around the world studying the use of psychedelic mushrooms. He was the first person allowed to partake in the sacred Mazatec rituals, recording, documenting and taking samples of the psilocybin mushrooms (they also used Salvia Divinorum in the rituals) Wasson made yearly summer trips to Mexico to learn from these shamans. Some of the samples he took were sent to the CIA funded Albert Hofmann, who used those psilocybin mushrooms to synthesize LSD.
[edit]
This is incorrect, it should be synthesized LSD from ergot, unrelated to Wasson. What Wasson did was send mushrooms to Hofmann who from those mushroom samples identified the chemicals psilocybin and psilocin. I think somewhere in researching this I got confused with that. As some have correctly pointed, LSD was made some years before. Overall, I do not think it effects the myriad connections and the interest in psychedelics that the CIA took but thank you for correcting me on that, it helps keep information honest and factual as much as it can be!
[end edit]
Gordon Wasson worked as VP for JP Morgon & Co Public Relations, he got that role by apparently doing so well defending JP Morgan’s wartime profiteering that occurred during the american civil war. It was throughout his career as a banker that Wasson made some interesting friends, most notably Allen Dulles head of the CIA.
How close they were as friends or if they were just acquaintances is probably up for debate, but Wasson’s research into ethnomycology was of great interest to Allen Dulles as he helped fund some of Wasson’s trips and even assigned CIA agents to accompany Wasson.
Here is a FOIA where Dulles is writing to Wasson https://www.cia.gov/readingroom/docs/CIA-RDP80B01676R003700110086-8.pdf
Even more interesting is this FOIA document of a list of candidates to help with the CIA’s PSB (Psychological Strategy Board) Wasson’s name is listed on it)
Wasson did a lot for making Psilocybin popular and is considered the father of ethnomycology, Despite his findings and the CIA’s use of the mushroom, Psilocybin became a highly illegal schedule 1 drug. His publishings of the Mazatec rituals made it into Life magazine in 1957 (probable friendship with the editor or owner of Life as well) effectively destroyed the Mazatec culture as tourists flooded to mexico and defiled the sanctity of the rituals and the mushroom.
I imagine that was part of the plan, to demonize psilocybin after finding out all that it could do and its significance to many traditional cultures. I believe the Mazatecs stated their regret for showing Wasson the rituals as they thought he genuinely wanted to learn.
That’s kind of a rundown of CIA’s interest of Psilocybin, which is important to know as we go into the CIA’s Amanita Muscaria connection.
Gordon Wasson’s most famous work was a book called Soma: Divine Mushroom of Immortality (1968) in which the sacred Vedic Soma was proposed to be the Amanita Muscaria mushroom. By this time he was well respected as an ethnobotanist and amateur mycologist and pretty much the leading authority on psychedelic mushrooms.
About a decade before Soma was published, another book about the Amanita Muscaria called The Sacred Mushroom: Key to the Door of Eternity by Andrija Puharich. He was a neurologist and parapsychologist who worked with the CIA and did many ESP and occultic studies. He also did experiments with the Amanita Muscaria, during which Aldous Huxley often sat in and observed. Huxley is often credited with helping the sixties counter culture hippie movement, especially with his book the Door of Perception, a book written based on his own experiences of psychedlics, likely inspired by his observations of Puharichs drug-occult studies.
It is also worth noting that Brave New World, (1932) by Huxley features a dystopian government who uses a drug to control the masses called Soma. While Soma had been proposed as a drug previously, it wasn’t until Wasson’s research that it was really pinned down as Amanita(at least as the most likely candidate) Wasson himself was probably inspired by Brave New World to consider Soma as Amanita.
Dulles and Wasson were also part of the same club, the Century Association in New York where many presidents, writers, scientists, artists, etc basically an aristocratic socialite club
This FOIA reveals that they were both part of it. Wasson’s work as ethnomycologist I’m sure came up and spread throughout these social circles just as an added way in which many of the people were connected.
https://www.cia.gov/readingroom/docs/CIA-RDP80R01731R000700100003-5.pdf
The timeline is a bit confusing and the connections are somewhat of a spider web especially considering that when research was done is often many years before the work is published but just know that early 1900s there started to be an interest in entheogens that ramped up when the CIA started to research and take interest in them. We come full circle with the illicit drug trade propagated by the CIA and with certain figures who helped initiate the counter culture movement that had CIA ties. Meaning its possible that the hippie movement was basically a psy op to discredit the sacred use of drugs like cannabis and psilocybin and even LSD if done correctly. What happened during this period was that these spiritual, healing esoteric drugs were lumped in with the other more destructive drugs like heroine and cocaine (no substance is inherently bad its just about how it is used) all were made illegal, turned to profitable business of selling, arresting and reselling the drugs and given a reputation as being for insane, lazy, poor and any other way society views drugs users.
So where is Amanita in all this? This ancient drug associated with some of the deepest levels of esoteric meditation and psychedelic experience, that was known to the CIA through people like Puharich, Wasson and Huxley.
What I’ve briefly summarized here is about all that connects the CIA to the Amanita, albeit in an abridged way, which is hardly anything direct.
There is nothing I could find on the Amanita in the FOIA. And I think thats significant. The level of classification is higher than LSD. LSD was already finding its way into pop culture so it wasn’t a big deal to reveal the operations involving that substance. Admit to one thing which was already being leaked to keep that other thing secret.
And what’s the best way to hide something? By ignoring it. Amanita Muscaria a well known hallucinogen, one of the primary entheogens of study by multiple researchers who were friends with and funded by the CIA and the CIA who were deep into occult and esoteric experiments, especially with psychedelic substances. And the mushroom isn’t even scheduled as a drug. The laws surrounding amanita’s are obscure and its mainly just listed as a poison, despite its widespread ancient documented use by cultures all across the world.
Other than the psychological tactic of making something illegal drives up its interest and its use, we can take a look at its biology to understand why the CIA and government ignores the amanita on the public front.
Amanita’s cannot be cultivated. To date, scientists are unable to cultivate the mushroom which requires specific types of trees that it has mycorrhizal relationships with. Without the ability to control the growth of the amanita, like you can with hemp, poppy, psilocybin, etc. It’s too risky to make illegal or to admit their research on it. With no way to control supply the CIA would rather pretend its not a real drug so people don’t have access to this “Key to the Door of Immortality”
That being said the amanita is also notoriously difficult to predict(the dosage is entirely unique in each mushroom) while also bearing resemblance to a few other mushrooms which are far more toxic. Some preparation is recommended before consumption and in general is a bit more complex than psilocybin. Even though psilocybin can be cultivated with grow boxes in your home, its also why its schedule 1 drug.
Amanita can produce wild dreams, give the sensation of flying, out of body experiences, delusions, hallucinations, euphoria, it is also said to be very healing and can induce some intense trance states for deep meditation and esoteric practice
It’s also a working suspicion of mine the government or some body of the government secretly harvests or destroys these mushrooms under the pretense of being toxic. Could be as simple as informing loggers, park rangers or some other agricultural worker to report or destroy any specific poisonous plant or mushroom they come across, with amanita thrown in that list. (This part is just a hunch i suppose)
While I could delve into the history of amanita I will leave one cool tidbit, the snails often depicted on Buddha’s head are of a species that eats amanita muscaria. In turn, eating the snails gives you a purified and safer dose of the psychoactive chemicals of amanita “Snails gave their life to buddha, which is why they are honored as martyrs” He ate them for his meditations!
Here is a link to a video i made about all this, which may be easier to digest than this post. It starts with etymology then goes into the CIA and mushroom connection.
https://youtu.be/rWSXrVIvaYc](https://youtu.be/rWSXrVIvaYc)

March 20, 1962 Berkeley Language Center
Huxley:
Thank You.
{Applause}
Uh, First of all, the, I’d like to say, that the conference at Santa Barbara was not directly concerned with the control of the mind. That was a conference, there have been two of them now, at the University of California Medical center in San Francisco, one this year which I didn’t attend, and one two years ago where there was a considerable discussion on this subject. At Santa Barbara we were talking about technology in general and the effects it’s likely to have on society and the problems related to technological transplanting of technology into underdeveloped countries.
Well now in regard to this problem of the ultimate revolution, this has been very well summed up by the moderator. In the past we can say that all revolutions have essentially aimed at changing the environment in order to change the individual. I mean there’s been the political revolution, the economic revolution, in the time of the reformation, the religious revolution. All these aimed, not directly at the human being, but at his surroundings. So that by modifying the surroundings you did achieve, did one remove the effect of the human being.
Today we are faced, I think, with the approach of what may be called the ultimate revolution, the final revolution, where man can act directly on the mind-body of his fellows. Well needless to say some kind of direct action on human mind-bodies has been going on since the beginning of time. But this has generally been of a violent nature. The Techniques of terrorism have been known from time immemorial and people have employed them with more or less ingenuity sometimes with the utmost cruelty, sometimes with a good deal of skill acquired by a process of trial and error finding out what the best ways of using torture, imprisonment, constraints of various kinds.
But, as, I think it was (sounds like Mettenicht) said many years ago, you can do everything with {garbled} except sit on them. If you are going to control any population for any length of time, you must have some measure of consent, it’s exceedingly difficult to see how pure terrorism can function indefinitely. It can function for a fairly long time, but I think sooner or later you have to bring in an element of persuasion an element of getting people to consent to what is happening to them.
It seems to me that the nature of the ultimate revolution with which we are now faced is precisely this: That we are in process of developing a whole series of techniques which will enable the controlling oligarchy who have always existed and presumably will always exist to get people to love their servitude. This is the, it seems to me, the ultimate in malevolent revolutions shall we say, and this is a problem which has interested me many years and about which I wrote thirty years ago, a fable, Brave New World, which is an account of society making use of all the devices available and some of the devices which I imagined to be possible making use of them in order to, first of all, to standardize the population, to iron out inconvenient human differences, to create, to say, mass produced models of human beings arranged in some sort of scientific caste system. Since then, I have continued to be extremely interested in this problem and I have noticed with increasing dismay a number of the predictions which were purely fantastic when I made them thirty years ago have come true or seem in process of coming true.
A number of techniques about which I talked seem to be here already. And there seems to be a general movement in the direction of this kind of ultimate revolution, a method of control by which a people can be made to enjoy a state of affairs by which any decent standard they ought not to enjoy. This, the enjoyment of servitude, Well this process is, as I say, has gone on for over the years, and I have become more and more interested in what is happening.
And here I would like briefly to compare the parable of Brave New World with another parable which was put forth more recently in George Orwell’s book, Nineteen Eighty- Four. Orwell wrote his book between, I think between 45 and 48 at the time when the Stalinist terror regime was still in Full swing and just after the collapse of the Hitlerian terror regime. And his book which I admire greatly, it’s a book of very great talent and extraordinary ingenuity, shows, so to say, a projection into the future of the immediate past, of what for him was the immediate past, and the immediate present, it was a projection into the future of a society where control was exercised wholly by terrorism and violent attacks upon the mind-body of individuals.
Whereas my own book which was written in 1932 when there was only a mild dictatorship in the form of Mussolini in existence, was not overshadowed by the idea of terrorism, and I was therefore free in a way in which Orwell was not free, to think about these other methods of control, these non-violent methods and my, I’m inclined to think that the scientific dictatorships of the future, and I think there are going to be scientific dictatorships in many parts of the world, will be probably a good deal nearer to the brave new world pattern than to the 1984 pattern, they will a good deal nearer not because of any humanitarian qualms of the scientific dictators but simply because the BNW pattern is probably a good deal more efficient than the other.
That if you can get people to consent to the state of affairs in which they’re living. The state of servitude the state of being, having their differences ironed out, and being made amenable to mass production methods on the social level, if you can do this, then you have, you are likely, to have a much more stable and lasting society. Much more easily controllable society than you would if you were relying wholly on clubs and firing squads and concentration camps. So that my own feeling is that the 1984 picture was tinged of course by the immediate past and present in which Orwell was living, but the past and present of those years does not reflect, I feel, the likely trend of what is going to happen, needless to say we shall never get rid of terrorism, it will always find its way to the surface.
But I think that insofar as dictators become more and more scientific, more and more concerned with the technically perfect, perfectly running society, they will be more and more interested in the kind of techniques which I imagined and described from existing realities in BNW. So that, it seems to me then, that this ultimate revolution is not really very far away, that we, already a number of techniques for bringing about this kind of control are here, and it remains to be seen when and where and by whom they will first be applied in any large scale.
And first let me talk about the, a little bit about the, improvement in the techniques of terrorism. I think there have been improvements. Pavlov after all made some extremely profound observations both on animals and on human beings. And he found among other things that conditioning techniques applied to animals or humans in a state either of psychological or physical stress sank in so to say, very deeply into the mind-body of the creature, and were extremely difficult to get rid of. That they seemed to be embedded more deeply than other forms of conditioning.
And this of course, this fact was discovered empirically in the past. People did make use of many of these techniques, but the difference between the old empirical intuitive methods and our own methods is the difference between the, a sort of, hit and miss craftsman’s point of view and the genuinely scientific point of view. I think there is a real difference between ourselves and say the inquisitors of the 16th century. We know much more precisely what we are doing, than they knew and we can extend because of our theoretical knowledge, we can extend what we are doing over a wider area with a greater assurance of being producing something that really works.
In this context I would like to mention the extremely interesting chapters in Dr. William (sounds like Seargent’s) Battle for the Mind where he points out how intuitively some of the great religious teachers/leaders of the past hit on the Pavlovian method, he speaks specifically of Wesley’s method of producing conversions which were essentially based on the technique of heightening psychological stress to the limit by talking about hellfire and so making people extremely vulnerable to suggestion and then suddenly releasing this stress by offering hopes of heaven and this is a very interesting chapter of showing how completely on purely intuitive and empirical grounds a skilled natural psychologist, as Wesley was, could discover these Pavlovian methods.
Well, as I say, we now know the reason why these techniques worked and there’s no doubt at all that we can if we wanted to, carry them much further than was possible in the past. And of course in the history of, recent history of brainwashing, both as applied to prisoners of war and to the lower personnel within the communist party in China, we see that the pavlovian methods have been applied systematically and with evidently with extraordinary efficacy. I think there can be no doubt that by the application of these methods a very large army of totally devoted people has been created. The conditioning has been driven in, so to say, by a kind of psychological iontophoresis into the very depths of the people’s being, and has got so deep that it’s very difficult to ever be rooted out, and these methods, I think, are a real refinement on the older methods of terror because they combine methods of terror with methods of acceptance that the person who is subjected to a form of terroristic stress but for the purpose of inducing a kind of voluntary quotes acceptance of the state the psychological state in which he has been driven and the state of affairs in which he finds himself.
So there is, as I say, there has been a definite improvement in the, even in the techniques of terrorism. But then we come to the consideration of other techniques, non-terroristic techniques, for inducing consent and inducing people to love their servitude. Here, I don’t think I can possibly go into all of them, because I don’t know all of them, but I mean I can mention the more obvious methods, which can now be used and are based on recent scientific findings. First of all there are the methods connected with straight suggestion and hypnosis.
I think we know much more about this subject than was known in the past. People of course, always have known about suggestion, and although they didn’t know the word ‘hypnosis’ they certainly practiced it in various ways. But we have, I think, a much greater knowledge of the subject than in the past, and we can make use of our knowledge in ways, which I think the past was never able to make use of it. For example, one of the things we now know for certain, that there is of course an enormous, I mean this has always been known a very great difference between individuals in regard to their suggestibility. But we now know pretty clearly the sort of statistical structure of a population in regard to its suggestibility. Its very interesting when you look at the findings of different fields, I mean the field of hypnosis, the field of administering placebos, for example, in the field of general suggestion in states of drowsiness or light sleep you will find the same sorts of orders of magnitude continually cropping up.
You’ll find for example that the experienced hypnotist will tell one that the number of people, the percentage of people who can be hypnotized with the utmost facility (snaps), just like that. is about 20%, and about a corresponding number at the other end of the scale are very, very difficult or almost impossible to hypnotize. But in between lies a large mass of people who can with more or less difficulty be hypnotized, that they can gradually be if you work hard enough at it be got into the hypnotic state, and in the same way the same sort of figures crop up again, for example in relation to the administration of placebos.
A big experiment was carried out three of four years ago in the general hospital in Boston on post-operative cases where several hundred men and woman suffering comparable kinds of pain after serious operations were allowed to, were given injections whenever they asked for them whenever the pain got bad, and the injections were 50% of the time were of morphine, and 50% of water. And about twenty percent of those who went through the experiment, about 20% of them got just as much relief from the distilled waters as from the morphea. About 20% got no relief from the distilled water, and in- between were those who got some relief or got relief occasionally.
So yet again, we see the same sort of distribution, and similarly in regard to what in BNW I called Hypnopedia, the sleep teaching, I was talking not long ago to a man who manufactures records which people can listen to in the, during the light part of sleep, I mean these are records for getting rich, for sexual satisfaction (crowd laughs), for confidence in salesmanship and so on, and he said that its very interesting that these are records sold on a money-back basis, and he says there is regularly between 15% and 20% of people who write indignantly saying the records don’t work at all, and he sends the money back at once. There are on the other hand, there are over 20% who write enthusiastically saying they are much richer, their sexual life is much better (laughter) etc, etc. And these of course are the dream clients and they buy more of these records. And in between there are those who don’t get much results and they have to have letters written to them saying “Go persist my dear, go on” (laughter) and you will get there, and they generally do get results in the long run.
Well, as I say, on the basis of this, I think we see quite clearly that the human populations can be categorized according to their suggestibility fairly clearly,. I suspect very strongly that this twenty percent is the same in all these cases, and I suspect also that it would not be at all difficult to recognize and {garbled} out who are those who are extremely suggestible and who are those extremely unsuggestible and who are those who occupy the intermediate space. Quite clearly, if everybody were extremely unsuggestible organized society would be quite impossible, and if everybody were extremely suggestible then a dictatorship would be absolutely inevitable. I mean it’s very fortunate that we have people who are moderately suggestible in the majority and who therefore preserve us from dictatorship but do permit organized society to be formed. But, once given the fact that there are these 20% of highly suggestible people, it becomes quite clear that this is a matter of enormous political importance, for example, any demagogue who is able to get hold of a large number of these 20% of suggestible people and to organize them is really in a position to overthrow any government in any country.
And I mean, I think this after all, we had the most incredible example in recent years by what can be done by efficient methods of suggestion and persuasion in the form of Hitler. Anyone who has read, for example, (Sounds like Bulloch’s) Life of Hitler, comes forth with this horrified admiration for this infernal genius, who really understood human weaknesses I think almost better than anybody and who exploited them with all the resources then available. I mean he knew everything, for example, he knew intuitively this pavlovian truth that condition installed in a state of stress or fatigue goes much deeper than conditioning installed at other times. This of course is why all his big speeches were organized at night. He speaks quite frankly, of course, in Mein Kampf, this is done solely because people are tired at night and therefore much less capable of resisting persuasion than they would be during the day. And in all his techniques he was using, he had discovered intuitively and by trial and error a great many of the weaknesses, which we now know about on a sort of scientific way I think much more clearly than he did.
But the fact remains that this differential of suggestibility this susceptibility to hypnosis I do think is something which has to be considered very carefully in relation to any kind of thought about democratic government . If there are 20% of the people who really can be suggested into believing almost anything, then we have to take extremely careful steps into prevent the rise of demagogues who will drive them on into extreme positions then organize them into very, very dangerous armies, private armies which may overthrow the government.
This is, I say, in this field of pure persuasion, I think we do know much more than we did in the past, and obviously we now have mechanisms for multiplying the demagogues voice and image in a quite hallucinatory way, I mean, the TV and radio, Hitler was making enormous use of the radio, he could speak to millions of people simultaneously. This alone creates an enormous gulf between the modern and the ancient demagogue. The ancient demagogue could only appeal to as many people as his voice could reach by yelling at his utmost, but the modern demagogue could touch literally millions at a time, and of course by the multiplication of his image he can produce this kind of hallucinatory effect which is of enormous hypnotic and suggestive importance.
But then there are the various other methods one can think of which, thank heaven, as yet have not be used, but which obviously could be used. There is for example, the pharmacological method, this is one of the things I talked about in BNW. I invented a hypothetical drug called SOMA, which of course could not exist as it stood there because it was simultaneously a stimulant, a narcotic, and a hallucinogen, which seems unlikely in one substance. But the point is, if you applied several different substances you could get almost all these results even now, and the really interesting things about the new chemical substances, the new mind-changing drugs is this, if you looking back into history its clear that man has always had a hankering after mind changing chemicals, he has always desired to take holidays from himself, but the, and, this is the most extraordinary effect of all that every natural occurring narcotic stimulant, sedative, or hallucinogen, was discovered before the dawn of history, I don’t think there is one single one of these naturally occurring ones which modern science has discovered.
Modern science has of course better ways of extracting the active principals of these drugs and of course has discovered numerous ways of synthesizing new substances of extreme power, but the actual discovery of these naturally occurring things was made by primitive man goodness knows how many centuries ago. There is for example, in the underneath the, lake dwellings of the early Neolithic that have been dug up in Switzerland we have found poppy-heads, which looks as though people were already using this most ancient and powerful and dangerous of narcotics, even before the days of the rise of agriculture. So that man was apparently a dope-bag addict before he was a farmer, which is a very curious comment on human nature.
But, the difference, as I say, between the ancient mind-changers, the traditional mind- changers, and the new substances is that they were extremely harmful and the new ones are not. I mean even the permissible mind-changer alcohol is not entirely harmless, as people may have noticed, and I mean the other ones, the non-permissible ones, such as opium and cocaine, opium and its derivatives, are very harmful indeed. They rapidly produce addiction, and in some cases lead at an extraordinary rate to physical degeneration and death.
Whereas these new substances, this is really very extraordinary, that a number of these new mind-changing substances can produce enormous revolutions within the mental side of our being, and yet do almost nothing to the physiological side. You can have an enormous revolution, for example, with LSD-25 or with the newly synthesized drug psilocybin, which is the active principal of the Mexican sacred mushroom. You can have this enormous mental revolution with no more physiological revolution than you would get from drinking two cocktails. And this is a really most extraordinary effect.
And it is of course true that pharmacologists are producing a great many new wonder drugs where the cure is almost worse than the disease. Every year the new edition of medical textbooks contains a longer and longer chapter of what are Iatrogenic diseases, that is to say diseases caused by doctors (laughter} And this is quite true, many of the wonder drugs are extremely dangerous. I mean they can produce extraordinary effects, and in critical conditions they should certainly be used, but they should be used with the utmost caution. But there is evidently a whole class of drugs effecting the CNS which can produce enormous changes in sedation in euphoria in energizing the whole mental process without doing any perceptible harm to the human body, and this presents to me the most extraordinary revolution. In the hands of a dictator these substances in one kind or the other could be used with, first of all, complete harmlessness, and the result would be, you can imagine a euphoric that would make people thoroughly happy even in the most abominable circumstances.
I mean these things are possible. This is the extraordinary thing, I mean after all this is even true with the crude old drugs. I mean, a housemate years ago remarked after reading Milton’s Paradise Lost, He Says “And beer does more than Milton can to justify God’s ways to man” (laughter). And beer is of course, an extremely crude drug compared to these ones. And you can certainly say that some of the psychic energizers and the new hallucinants could do incomparably more than Milton and all the Theologicians combined could possibly do to make the terrifying mystery of our existence seem more tolerable than it does. And here I think one has an enormous area in which the ultimate revolution could function very well indeed, an area in which a great deal of control could be used by not through terror, but by making life seem much more enjoyable than it normally does. Enjoyable to the point, where as I said before, Human beings come to love a state of things by which any reasonable and decent human standard they ought not to love and this I think is perfectly possible.
But then, very briefly, let me speak about one of the more recent developments in the sphere of neurology, about the implantation of electrodes in the brain. This of course has been done in the large scale in animals and in a few cases its been done in the cases of the hopelessly insane. And anybody who has watched the behavior of rats with electrodes placed in different centers must come away from this experience with the most extraordinary doubts about what on Earth is in store for us if this is got a hold of by a dictator. I saw not long ago some rats in the {garbled} laboratory at UCLA there were two sets of them, one with electrodes planted in the pleasure center, and the technique was they had a bar which they pressed which turned on a very small current for a short space of time which we had a wire connected with that electrode and which stimulated the pleasure center and was evidently absolutely ecstatic was these rats were pressing the bar 18,000 times a day (laughter). Apparently if you kept them from pressing the bar for a day, they’d press it 36,000 times on the following day and would until they fell down in complete exhaustion (laughter) And they would neither eat, nor be interested in the opposite sex but would just go on pressing this bar {pounds on podium}
Then the most extraordinary rats were those were the electrode was planted halfway between the pleasure and the pain center. The result was a kind of mixture of the most wonderful ecstasy and like being on the rack at the same time. And you would see the rats sort of looking at is bar and sort of saying “To be or not to be that is the question”. (Laughter) Finally it would approach {Pounds on podium} and go back with this awful I mean, the (sounds like franken huminizer anthropomorphizer), and he would wait some time before pressing the bar again, yet he would always press it again. This was the extraordinary thing.
I noticed in the most recent issue of Scientific American there’s a very interesting article on electrodes in the brains of chickens, where the technique is very ingenious, where you sink into their brains a little socket with a screw on it and the electrode can then be screwed deeper and deeper into the brainstem and you can test at any moment according to the depth, which goes at fractions of the mm, what you’re stimulating and these creatures are not merely stimulated by wire, they’re fitted with a miniature radio receiver which weighs less than an ounce which is attached to them so that they can be communicated with at a distance, I mean they can run about in the barnyard and you could press a button and this particular area of the brain to which the electrode has been screwed down to would be stimulated. You would get this fantastic phenomena, where a sleeping chicken would jump up and run about, or an active chicken would suddenly sit down and go to sleep, or a hen would sit down and act like she’s hatching out an egg, or a fighting rooster would go into depression.
The whole picture of the absolute control of the drives is terrifying, and in the few cases in which this has been done with very sick human beings, The effects are evidently very remarkable too, I was talking last summer in England to Grey Walter, who is the most eminent exponent of the EEG technique in England, and he was telling me that he’s seen hopeless inmates at asylums with these things in their heads, and these people were suffering from uncontrollable depression, and they had these electrodes inserted into the pleasure center in their brain, however when they felt too bad, they just pressed a button on the battery in their pocket and he said the results were fantastic, the mouth pointing down would suddenly turn up and they’d feel very cheerful and happy. So there again one sees the most extraordinary revolutionary techniques, which are now available to us.
Now, I think what is obviously perfectly clear is that for the present these techniques are not being used except in an experimental way, but I think it is important for us to realize what is happening to make ourselves acquainted with what has already happened, and then use a certain amount of imagination to extrapolate into the future the sort of things that might happen. What might happen if these fantastically powerful techniques were used by unscrupulous people in authority, what on Earth would happen, what sort of society would we get?
And I think it is peculiarly important because as one sees when looking back over history we have allowed in the past all those advances in technology which has profoundly changed our social and individual life to take us by surprise, I mean it seems to me that it was during the late 18 century early 19th century when the new machines were making possible the factory situation. It was not beyond the wit of man to see what was happening and project into the future and maybe forestall the really dreadful consequences which plagued England and most of western Europe and this country for sixty or seventy years, and the horrible abuses of the factory system and if a certain amount of forethought had been devoted to the problem at that time and if people had first of all found out what was happening and then used their imagination to see what might happen, and then had gone on to work out the means by which the worst applications of the techniques would not take place, well then I think western humanity might have been spared about three generations of utter misery which had been imposed on the poor at that time.
And the same way with various technological advances now, I mean we need to think about the problems with automation and more profoundly the problems, which may arise with these new techniques, which may contribute to this ultimate revolution. Our business is to be aware of what is happening, and then to use our imagination to see what might happen, how this might be abused, and then if possible to see that the enormous powers which we now possess thanks to these scientific and technological advances to be used for the benefit of human beings and not for their degradation.
Thank You
{Applause}

If an American has a negative response to an anti-depressant, we sigh and say, "Oh, dear, they had a bad reaction." We ascribe no blame to the Big Pharma anti-depressant. The bad reaction is the fault of the user: their system simply fails to respond appropriately to the drug in question.
If an American has a negative response to a psychoactive plant medicine, we snarl and say, "Oh, dear, that is an evil drug!"
It's this kind of muddled thinking about substances that makes the Drug War the great philosophical problem of our time, because the Drug War is propped up and supported on a framework of bogus hypocritical assumptions like this.
Take the old canard of the "crutch," the idea that we should not use mother nature's psychoactive plant medicines because they are crutches.
Was cocaine a crutch when it helped Sigmund Freud achieve self-actualization in his life? Was opium a crutch when it increased Benjamin Franklin's creativity and friendliness? Were psychedelics a crutch when they provided Plato with metaphysical insights at the Eleusinian mysteries? Was the natural substance called soma a crutch when it single-handedly (or single-plantedly) inspired the Vedic religion?
If any substances are "crutches," they are the tranquilizing meds of Big Pharma, which, since the introduction of lithium, have been designed, not to help folks achieve self-actualization in life, but to render them more docile and accepting of the status quo. (When Antonio Moniz won the Nobel Prize for lobotomy, it was the nurses who were cheering, not the patients.) In this way, Big Pharma meds are crutches designed to make the patient forget about the need to walk on their own two feet.

My entire post is about this New York Times article: A 'Pacemaker for the Brain': No Treatment Helped Her Depression - Until This
The first thing I have to mention is that depression is a terrible, cruel thing. And that if a treatment saves a person's life from suicide, then you can't leave that out of the discussion.
But to equate this device as a pacemaker is a cunning marketing lie. The heart is just a muscle, it beats at strict intervals for which a pacemaker is there to set the rhythm.
The human brain doesn't have a single function. Its been described as the most complicated thing in the known universe. For a corporation to redefine the purpose of the brain along a single dimension, happiness, is to sell a lie. If somebody you love dies, and you are incapable of feeling unhappy, wouldn't that deprive you of the very thing that makes us human?
Whenever a Brave New World citizen felt a negative emotion they were encouraged to take Soma. Whenever Sarah feels a negative emotion, her brain is automatically overriden toward happiness, as many as 300 times a day, the maximum they set for her. She doesn't even have a choice like the fictional dystopians did.
The two subjects listed so far had to be rescued when their implants were shut off as a test for a placebo effect. That may have proved it wasn't doing nothing, but it also made me think about the consequences down the line. If you run out of money for its subscription service, because everything is a service nowadays, then you just lost your biggest coping mechanism. You might not have a physical dependency but it's the next closest thing. They can basically hold you hostage. Or if servers go down, or the battery fails, you are going to be facing down suicidal thoughts without having learned coping mechanisms to fend for yourself.
There was another single sentence in the article that was seriously alarming. They just off hand mentioned that they record 12 minutes a day of your entire brain activity to send back to the company. It sounds like the most tinfoil conspiracy theory ever but they just causally included that in an article published by the New York Times.
For a more science fiction perspective, imagine if a corporation mandated that all executive decision makers for a company had to install this device. Which by the way, operates on the "motivation, emotion and reward pathways". That's the same thing cocaine runs on, the distinction being cocaine is an analog physical drug, while electrical stimulation is digital. So anyway the executives have this device installed because they are confronted by problems. Whether or not to greenlight a cure for a disease which they are already selling a treatment for, whether or not to recall pacemakers which have a 20% failure rate, you get the idea. So whenever they begin to have a moral objection to the evil they are doing, it zaps them back into default happiness. That ensures they protect the bottom line of the company rather than the people they are responsible for.
We are entering a Brave New World, and just as Huxley juxtaposed Shakespeare with his dystopia, I can't help but recall this quote:

Macbeth: Canst thou not minister to a mind diseased, Pluck from the memory a rooted sorrow, Raze out the written troubles of the brain And with some sweet oblivious antidote Cleanse the stuffed bosom of that perilous stuff Which weighs upon the heart? Doctor: Therein the patient Must minister to himself. 

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I've spent the last several years adopting the self ordained title of investigative journalist in order to expose the seedy underbelly of Riot Game's drug empire.
Like all good independent and undercover journalists I do not work for anyone nor does anyone else refer to me as a journalist.
My suspicion was first piqued back in 2018 when riot released the item Ludens 'Echo'. Initially I was simply stunned. How could they be so blatant in their subliminal messaging?
Echo for those of you who have yet to fall prey to Riot's pressures is a common slang term for MDMA; and it was this realisation which began a slippery slope into the murky waters of Riot Games.
I decided to do a cross analysis of all of the items within League of Legends to see if the theme persisted; and to my horror these were my findings:
​
Trinity Force: I thought there was no way that an item which seems so religious in its connotations could turn out to be so evil: there is a high risk combination of medications often prescribed for pain management. This combination is frequently referred to as the “Holy Trinity.” The, “Holy Trinity” is a combination of opioids, benzodiazepines and carisoprodol (a muscle relaxant also known as Soma). The message is clear; Riot wants you to not only take drugs, but smash medication in as large a variety as possible.
Death Cap: As we know, cap or caps (Is He part of the plot too!?) is a common slang referral to shrooms or magic mushrooms. Psilocybin and psilocyn are the hallucinogenic compounds contained in certain mushrooms; the death element of the name makes this even more compelling. Riot wants you to take death shrooms.
Death Dance: Do I even need to explain this one? Riot wants you to take party hallucinogens that kill you.
Dark Seal: To pop the seal of a codeine bottle, and yes, it has to be dark in case we were too stupid to realise Riot wants us to take drugs.
Dead Man's Plate: According to the UK governmental website, plate is a common term used to determine an amount of a powdered drug, commonly cocaine. Riot wants you to take the amount of the drug that makes you a dead man. Clearly there is no limitations to how many drugs they want you to take.
​
I could go on, but I fear my time is running out. Friends, I need your help before Riot shuts me down for good. Continue my research! Spread the word... I hear them at the door... do not forget me frie............

Hi, everyone!
Just wanted to make a post about some of the changes that need to be made in this subreddit in order for us to smoothly make it through the dry period we'll likely be facing before we get new material from Josh. The changes are as follows:
1. We're trailing Foofighters by approximately 1,400 subscribers, which is unacceptable. Everyone here must make nine [9] alt accounts, and subscribe only to qotsa
2. Everybody must start impersonating somebody from the band. That fake Josh AMA from a few days ago seemed fun for everybody involved, so if we had, say 350 AMAs per day from someone who claims to be in the band, we'll never run out of entertainment.
3. Users can only make posts about S/T, Rated R, and SFTD if (AND ONLY IF) they're fucked up on drugs at the time of posting. These albums cannot be fully appreciated without the aid of drugs such as weed, LSD, MDMA, psilocybin, DMT, PCP, crack, cocaine, 2C-B, K2, Spice, alcohol, datura, salvia, THC crystal (AKA Gorilla Biscuits [AKA elephant tranquilizers,]) NMT, LSA, 25I-NBOMe, phenibut, Ayahuasca, Soma, changa, heroin, methamphetamine, caffeine, Dramamine, mescaline, codeine, jenkem, ether, muscimol, Valium, krokodil, LSH, whippits, prison wine, bull shark testosterone, barbiturates, kratom, opium, ketamine, nicotine, benzodiazepines, bath salts, keyboard cleaner, nitrous oxide, mad honey, GHB, or sherm sticks.
4. Porn music videos are the next big thing. Everybody is to make their own porn music video with a QOTSA track of their choosing, and post it on PornHub with a link to qotsa.
5. Users are henceforth required to refer to themselves entirely in the third-person.
6. All users must be fluent in Finnish.
7. All shitposts must be in the style of indianpeoplefacebook posts.
8. Everyone under the age of 18 must be adopted by an adult member of qotsa, regardless of your current parental status.
9. All users must set their morning alarm song to Hispanic Impressions. This is the only way.
10. All subscribers must pay $7.99/month for access to qotsa, plus an additional $3.99 for each post, and $1.99 for each comment. Upvoting content will remain free.
Thanks to everyone for abiding by these new rules. Though it may be a long time before we get any new music from Josh and Company, these changes ensure that we'll still be going strong when new material is announced!
EDITED to add more drugs to rule #3.

Former WWE Champion Jeff Hardy was arrested on Saturday for public intoxication and impairment while in Myrtle Beach, according to a report from TMZ.
The report did not reveal what led to his arrest, only that Hardy had been released on Saturday afternoon and had to pay less than $200 for bond. His mugshot quickly made its way online
Details on WWE Jeff Hardy aka Brother Nero Being Arrested (Video) https://t.co/sg0g5m08UR pic.twitter.com/7P4zqIAVr5 — Robert Littal (@BSO) July 13, 2019
This is not the first time Hardy has found himself in trouble with the law. Back in 2009 he was arrested on chargers of trafficking controlled prescription pills and possession of anabolic steroids. Police discovered 262 Vicodin pills, 180 Soma pills, cocaine residue and 555 milliliters of anabolic steroids. He would go on to plead guilty and spend 10 days in jail time, serve a 30 month probation and pay a $100,000 fine. In March 2018 he was arrested for impaired driving in Concord, North Carolina.

 
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