Little letter symbols

Hey yall! Im 24 (nb) and I loveee getting mail on webkinz. I super miss sending letters and gifts to irl friends who played, but I havent had any since 2008! Does anyone wanna be pen pals on webkinz? Just send eachother cute little letters and occasionally gifts (even if its smth small) for a little serotonin boost after a long day in a capitalist society.

Hey there, slot enthusiasts! I’m so excited to chat to you about a brand new RTG slot. I think most players in the slot world have been anticipating a sequel to the original Buffalo Mania release.Buffalo Mania Deluxe, a slot game that’s been creating quite the buzz in the online casino community. If you’re a fan of high-energy slots with beautiful visuals and big win potential, then – this one’s for you!
First Impressions
The moment you fire up Buffalo Mania Deluxe, you’re transported straight to the heart of the American wilderness. The graphics are absolutely stunning – think wide-open prairies, majestic buffalo, and a golden sunset that sets the perfect backdrop for your slot adventure. The symbols on the reels are just as impressive, featuring buffalos, eagles, wolves, and those classic card symbols we all know and love.
What I loved about the new slot
Buffalo Mania Deluxe sticks to the classic 5-reel, 3-row format with 25 paylines. As a moderate slow player, I’m used to newer slots with advanced gameplay mechanics. However, I really loved the classic feel to this. I didn’t feel overwhelmed. But I also didn’t feel like it was so slow and classic that I was bored. The buffalo symbol is the star of the show, offering the highest payouts. Trust me, landing five of these majestic creatures on a payline is pretty amazing.
But what really sets this slot apart are its bonus features. Let’s talk about the Free Spins Bonus – it’s triggered by landing three or more golden coin scatter symbols. Once you’re in the free spins round, things really heat up with multipliers that can send your winnings soaring. Plus, there’s a Wild Symbol that substitutes for everything except the scatter, helping you hit those sweet winning combinations more often.
Betting and RTP
One of the things I love about Buffalo Mania Deluxe is its flexible betting range.You can go big and bet the max. Or, you can just bet a little and take it easy. And with an RTP of around 96%, the game offers a fair shot at some decent returns over time.
Final Thoughts
Buffalo Mania Deluxe is a fantastic slot that combines gorgeous visuals, exciting features, and solid win potential. Whether you’re a newbie to online slots or a seasoned pro, there’s something here for everyone. The theme is captivating, the gameplay is smooth, and the chance to hit those big wins keeps the adrenaline pumping. Give Buffalo Mania Deluxe a spin – you won’t be disappointed!
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Happy spinning, and may the buffalo bring you good luck!

Let us imagine, my friends, that it is the 10th anniversary of Robert's reign. He and a lot of the nobles are out on a hunt when King's Landing explodes into a giant ball of green flames. Some homeless orphan, or maybe even one of Varys' little birds, goes exploring, stumbles onto one of Aerys' forgotten caches, it catches fire and triggers a chain reaction. Too bad so sad. Northmen, Dornishmen, and Iron Islanders did not have anyone of importance attending, but the rest of the Kindgoms lose many an important player in the game.
• Loras was at the hunt, but Olenna, Mace the Ace and Margaery, invited to the capital by Renly, who, being the groomer that he is decided to start the Lyanna lookalike thing young, were all toast. Willas and Garlan have weathered the storm, having stayed at home, and they were in general smart cookies, but not Queen of Thorns level smart, and nearly not as power-hungry. They just wanted to chill and grieve now.
• The Iron Islands have barely begun to recover from their last attempt at independence, but the Great Fire presented them with an opportunity like none other, and so they have made a half-arsed attempt at ploundering the Western coast of the Seven Kingdoms. In Winterfell, young Theon loses his head.
• Jon Arryn, Lysa, Sweetrobin, and Baelish were unsurprisingly in King's Landing at the time. They did not attend the hunt, and now they also were all toast. Harry was still a green boy at the time, the lords were not pleased with the prospect of a regency, many of them wanting absolute power for their own now that the main Arryn line was extinct, the Mountain Clans saw that as a good omen and went on a rampage. The Vale was in turmoil.
• Tywin and Kevan attended the feast but not the hunt, as they were visiting Cersei and her children at the time. They, too, were all toast. Jaime and Lancel could not get out of their respective Kingsguard and page duties due to Bobby B being petty for once, so they survived, but now a succession crisis in the Westerlands was also in place with the potential heirs being a grief-stricken and deeply unlikable Kingslayer with a vow of celibacy, a deeply unlikable whoremonger Imp, and a green boy.
• Edmure was also in King's Landing, visiting Lysa, and opted to visit a tavern with several other prominent Riverlands heir lads, so can you guess what they all became? You are goddamn right! Toast! So now Hoster, who was already at the first stages of his terminal illness and could not perform, only had the Blackfish, who wasstill refusing to marry, and the Stark kids for heirs. Several other houses were experiencing similar issues, but apparently while everybody else was grieving, Old Walder held a massive celebration at the Twins. Oh, and make no mistake, he will also be pushing for Genna and Emmon's kids to inherit Casterly Rock, and let us not forget about trying to put all of his daughters into newly widowed Robert's bed. How 'nice'.
• As previously mentioned, Cersei and all three of Robert's golden 'heirs' were home at the time. Tragically, so was the Mannis. Which means now Bobby's heirs were a gay pedo, a greyscale-ridden girl, and a score of bastards. Not that that was of any concern to Robert, he normally would not give a rat's arse about any of them dying. The matter in which they had died, though? Now, that is another thing entirely! Wildfire is a clear mark of the work of DRAGONSPAWN! Without Jon Arryn or dear old Ned to steady him, he declared war on the entire continent of Essos to deal with DRAGONSPAWN! for good. Screw securing his line, he can do it later. Everybody in Westeros thought this idea was bonkers and a clear sign of his own Targ ancestry coming out, and they surely had their own problems to deal with, but oh well, he was King. For now. And oh, where are the Targs by the way?
• While Dorne has rejoiced and begun discreetly gathering troops in Viserys' name, Vizzy the Mad himself and his sister were nowhere to be found. For all of his abundant mental issues, Viserys was slippery as an eel and has gotten very good at hiding in the slums of whatever Free City he was in at the time. Dozens of Robert and Illyrio's agents were out to get him, and he could not really distinguish him from Doran's agents, could he? In the end, though, Doran proved fleetingly victorious, until Vizzy got felled by a shadow demon at the docks, just as he was about to set sail for Westeros. Oh yeah. Melisandre had decided to shift her attentions to Bobby dearest, proclaiming him Azor Ahai reborn, and had managed to calm him down a little with her magical nether regions, promising and delivering on a bit more boring yet far more quicker way to get rid of the Targs. In the process, Daenerys had escaped, but had also gotten the short end of the stick by encountering the same type of wizard young Varys had, who promptly caught her and made her permanently barren, Aretuza-style. This is no maegi curse. Not even a dragon can grow a secong uterus. She may or may not get her dragons several years down the line, but her own line definitely ended with her.
• Speaking of Illyrio. With Varys having perished in the fire, he became the head of the whole fAegon operation, and started aggressively marketing the young 'King' to the Seven Kingdoms. The thing is, word of a dead Spider, one-sided letters in cypher, and word of JonCon who is easily led and could be convinced Aegon Jinglebell Frey was the son of his Silver Prince if you told him enough sentimental plattitudes, is not enough. That kid could be any random Lyseni or dragonseed. And the Golden Company's involvement only made the whole shebang more sus. It still gave them a modicum of support... until their glorious homecoming ship got caught in a storm in the Narrow Sea and drowned. fAegon, the sole survivor, was now best bros with Patchface and his namesake Jinglebell. The fiasco, however, gave many an enterprizing man on both sides of the Narrow Sea an idea, and Westeros became inundaded with dozens of various fAegons, fViseryses, fRhaenyses, fDaeneryses, and even an occasional fRhaegar and f'Dragonwolf', all claiming the same thing. The latter, however, made Catelyn a bit sus, and she wrangled the truth out of her husband.
• It did not make things better, however. You see, dearest not-so-gentlereader, instability South of the Wall made the Night King seize the opportunity a couple of years earlier, bringing terror to the Free Folk, who, in turn, came in troves and brought terror to the North. Ned Stark, unlike his son/nephew, was not one to negotiate with wildings, and young, too young Robb and Jon, both eager for glory despite being barely into their teens, snuck onto the battlefield and both died by enemy arrows.
• In the end, an unlikely Suicide S̶q̶u̶a̶d̶ Duo of Bobby B and Dany on dragons tried having their last stand against the Others but failed. Oh well. At least no future Westerosi will worry about not having an air conditioner in a heatwave now. You know we all do. Ain't that, in a way, a happy ending?

Hello and thank you for taking the time to read my post.
About me:

• My name starts with the letter C
  
• I live in the Midwest
  
• I'm looking for love like everyone else here
  
• Sorta tall, around 5' 10'' tall
  
• Lean and a little bit muscular
  
• Shaggy brown hair
  
• No tattoos or piercings
  
• No children
  
• Introverted
  
• I have a job, but no place of my own yet
  
• I workout 7 days a week and it's one of the few things I actually enjoy doing
  

Cons:

• I'm not rich
  
• No college education
  
• I don't want children
  
• I can be stubborn
  
• I'm a bit weird
  

I'm looking for someone who's:

• Between 27 and 35
  
• American
  
• Currently has no children and doesn't ever want children.
  

Most people try their hardest to put on a good performance to impress others. I don't do that. Which is why my post is blunt and straight to the point. I don't believe in false advertising. I'm not a prince and honestly, I'm not a good catch either. I'm just some guy trying to find love on reddit.
I'm not clingy and I love my alone time, but I do promise to answer when you call. Just don't expect a man who's gonna be with you every second of the day. We all need space.
Sorry for being blunt, but I prefer to be upfront and honest over selling false promises.
If you're blunt, honest and know who you are and what you want, message me.

Let's now delve into Abby's perspective.
Abby's equivalent of the Wyoming Museum is her scenes in the aquarium. I find the choice of this particular ocean biome interesting. Throughout her journey in Seattle, Abby gradually distances herself from the WLF. The aquarium serves as a clandestine refuge where Abby and Owen seek solace away from their WLF responsibilities, a sanctuary amidst the chaos of the city. The ocean represents a hidden world, a sanctuary that other surface animals cannot penetrate, symbolizing a refuge from the conflicts and chaos above. Abby's character in Seattle is symbolized by a crab—outwardly strong yet internally vulnerable, much like herself as depicted by Owen's observation that she appears tough but is soft at heart. This symbolism extends to the imagery of a giant crab adorning the doors leading to the tragic fate of Owen and Mel. Upon her return from the island, blood stains beneath the doors. I think this is supposed to represent how by her actions she brought death to her friends, akin to bearing the weight of guilt or "dirty hands." Throughout her narrative, various other depictions of crabs persistently follows Abby.
Abby's Seattle setting is aquatic, but it wasn't always so. Prior to her father's death, her symbolic habitat was the jungle. In her initial flashback in Salt Lake, she stands at the zoo entrance, surrounded by banners portraying jungle and savanna creatures like tigers, elephants, apes, and antelopes. She can also find a flyer of the zoo ad with the tiger on it. In Santa Barbara, when visiting the Firefly outpost, Lev asks why the children's room depicts animals and a forest. Abby explains that it is a thing parents can do and that her father painted her a jungle in her room when she was little. I think deep within, Abby identifies with a tiger, and she actually re-finds herself with Lev's encounter. The tiger represents her true essence, her totem animal, while the crab represents what she turned into in Seattle. The crab, with its hard exterior and soft interior, also mirrors Abby's hardened exterior developed from her experiences with the WLF.
Yet, subtle hints throughout her narrative suggest a rediscovery of her true self as a tiger that coincide with what she's going throught. One instance that really striked me is the big cartoonish tiger she encounters in a cafe on the road to the hospital, sat in a position of meditation, coinciding with her growing bond with Lev. This moment signifies her gradual return to inner peace and authenticity. Another significant occurrence is the depiction of a tiger hidden behind a counter during her escape from the island with Yara and Lev, labeled with "mean streak." This moment precedes a pivotal confrontation with her former allies, symbolizing Abby's re-embrace of her tiger nature—a resurgence of strength and determination as she confronts her past and fights for her newfound family. The reappearance of the tiger symbolizes Abby's journey of self-discovery and resilience, marking her reclaiming of inner strength and ferocity in the face of adversity.
During the Salt Lake flashback, as Abby finds her father and they continue through the park, they enter the aquatic biome, greeted by a crab facing exactly towards the banner depicting a tiger, symbolizing Abby's future transformation in Seattle. She enters the mouth of a whale, symbolizing her immersion into the aquatic world. In the very next flashback, she will exit from the mouth of a shark, marking her transformation complete.
Owen is symbolized by a spotted seal. The first time they ever entered the aquarium, Owen get out of the water and place himself right in front of a seal depiction named "Oscar", saying some things to Abby. You can see a little crab right under. Hints in dialogues also point at Owen being a seal. During the scene in the aquatic dome underwater, Owen concludes their conversation by expressing his intention to spend some time with the seals. Another subtle clue to Owen's future role as a father is found within the aquarium's main room: a statue depicting a seal and its cub. This imagery hints at Owen's impending journey into parenthood.
I'm going to talk about Tommy in Abby's section because it mostly striked me while doing her parts, with the exception of this dinosaur looking like a horse head in the wyoming museeum as mentionned in my first post. Right after letting Yara at the "Big Fat Crab Shack" to get to the marina, she stumble upon Manny who's being targeted by Tommy. Interestingly, if you look behind Abby, you'll spot the "Big Fat Crab Shack" logo again with its giant crab, while directly in front of her, just a couple of meters away, is an advertising van for "Manke" beer. The logo on the van is a horse, accompanied by the tagline "made with the finest ingredients of southern America," which resonates with Tommy's Texan roots. This van appears again later not far, in the parking lot where Tommy shoots at Abby, instigating an attack from the infected.
However, what puzzles me is why Abby doesn't perceive Tommy as an aquatic animal like she does with others. My only lead on this is that the aquatic version of Tommy is a seahorse. This notion is reinforced by the presence of a seahorse symbol at the Serevena Hotel, where Ellie and Dina encounter men tortured by Tommy. Honestly not 100% convinced on this seahorse part.
Lev is seen as a shark by Abby. A whole section of the aquarium is dedicated to sharks and their importance in the ocean ecosystem ( you can also see a little crab under one of the shark depictions ) When Abby and Yara seek a gift for Lev, they deem a shark plushie as the perfect choice, emphasizing his connection to this creature.
A prominent shark exhibit features a large specimen seemingly poised to attack a diver's cage, adorned with scars on its mouth sides. The image of Lev braving the seas on his boat to rescue his mother on the island further reinforces this association, evoking the image of a shark cutting through the waves with determination.
In Abby's perception, Lev embodies the qualities of a shark, yet he identifies himself with a cat, ( or it's his totem animal ) First and foremost, we can clearly see Lev's agility and fearlessness, particularly evident in his comfort with heights, mirroring a cat's nimbleness and independence. Additionally, Lev expresses fears akin to those of a cat—water and dogs. During Ellie's parts, I found this board on the ancient communication agency swarmed by scars ( in front of the tramway ). There this little text on a board from a meeting to pitch a product, back in the days. It says :
"Client pitch meet ideas - emotional angle - comedy angle - personnification of cat ? "
Even though it might be a bit of a stretch, this corresponds perfectly to what happens between Abby and Lev. She feels pity for him upon learning his story and comes to love him, thus the emotional angle, and Lev also makes some jokes or blunders, like asking Abby what's going on between him and Owen at the worst possible moment, or when he doesn't know certain common words due to his life among the Seraphites.
The more obvious sign that Lev is really a cat can be found in the same cafe where we found the tiger in meditation pose, on the left walls. Just like Owen, we can witness Lev positionning himself right in front of this animal and get some dialogues. He say something like it's weird to represent humans as animals / humans from before were weird doing this. This particular artwork features two cartoonish cats adorned in rock-inspired attire, captured in a lively dancing pose. A male and female, holding hands. This really striked me as being a representaion of Lev's gender duality. Abby mentions Lev's "punk-rock" spirit not long before this, hence the outfits.
Yara is a sea otter, simply because she wears this shirt with a sea otter at the aquarium.
The WLF obviously are wolves but Abby actually sees them as Orcas. Upon awakening at the stadium, Abby is greeted by a rug adorned with an orca motif. Then she gets to the mess hall, there's one wolf banner on one wall but also depictions of orcas adorning pillars and inscriptions proclaiming "Home of the Orcas" on the walls. Orcas are kinda wolves of the seas, share several characteristics with wolves, such as being large predators that hunt in packs, exhibit complex social structures, and are territorial. By associating the WLF with Orcas, Abby's perception elevates them to a level of strength, cunning, and dominance akin to these apex predators of the ocean.
Scars are possibly herons. I found some herons in the wyoming museeum as mentionned in my first post, but also some depictions while Abby is crossing the chinese district to get to martyr's gate. They communicate throught whistling like birds including herons. They also go throught the city by the airs, basically. Theres not much hints, but I do feel like the herons correspond really well to Seraphites due to their way of life and behavior. Firstly, herons are often associated with aquatic areas such as marshes and rivers, where they patiently and strategically hunt their prey. Similarly, the Seraphites have established themselves on an isolated island, resembling a marsh, where they practice an ascetic and contemplative form of living in harmony with nature, living in wooden houses. Furthermore, herons are patient and methodical predators, silently observing their surroundings before taking action ( Remember that arrow in Ellie's shoulder ? ) The Seraphites also exhibit a deliberate approach in their lives and interactions, emphasizing discipline, reflection, and strategic planning.
During the visit to the Chinese district, theres a peculiar creature: the dragon. Numerous depictions of it adorn this area. There might be a connection to the Seraphites, evidenced by the presence of Martyr's Gate and the increased encounters with them following this section. However, it's challenging to pinpoint its exact representation; my guess is that it symbolizes a broader concept rather than a specific character or faction. Might also just be because it's the chinese district.
Abby seem to be also linked to whales and octopus, I think each representing one concept. Ellie's collection of cards includes one intriguing card featuring a whale named "Big Blue." The description of the card reads:
"Big Blue is an extra-dimensional entity who has taken on the appearance of a blue whale. First arriving on Earth over a billion years ago to keep watch over nascent life forms, they use their infinite well of knowledge to help guide the human race in times of great need and upheaval. Their unfathomable age has one major drawback: days appear to pass as microseconds. However, this time dilation effect is offset if they hold their breath—which they can do for several years at a time."
The whale, as an entity with ancient wisdom and knowledge, could be seen as a manifestation of destiny itself. Just as the whale has existed since the dawn of life on Earth, destiny is a force that has shaped Abby's life from the very beginning. It has guided her path, leading her to the pivotal moments and encounters that defined her journey. Despite the challenges she faces, destiny continues to steer her toward her ultimate purpose and fate.
In many cultures and mythologies, the octopus is often associated with aspects of mystery, danger, and conflict. Its tentacled appearance and ability to camouflage itself in its environment make it a powerful symbol of the struggle and complexity of human conflicts. In the game, the giant octopus present at the aquarium can be interpreted as a visual representation of the internal and external conflicts that the characters, especially Abby, must face. The octopus's tentacles seem to stretch out and envelop the environment, evoking how conflict can feel omnipresent and difficult to avoid. Furthermore, the octopus is a formidable predator in the marine world, using its tentacles to capture and subdue its prey. This imagery can be associated with how the characters in the game are ensnared in the conflicts surrounding them.
And finally, Abby sees Ellie as a Stingray. Ellie's journey to get to Abby in Seattle final moments is symbolic of her descent into the aquatic world : to get to the hidden crab in the secretive ocean, she must transform as an aquatic animal. As Ellie approaches the aquarium, the challenges intensify, marked by increasingly stormy weather and turbulent seas. Despite the obstacles, Ellie perseveres, ultimately reaching her destination, not before falling into the ocean. Few notes here, first of all there's this outdoor kids' play area, a crab faces towards a whale and a shark, while an orca wing and a seahorse stand behind them. Could be a representation of how Abby is leaving her past behind and her newfound responsibility towards Lev. Next, right before kneeling to get under the fence, a sign featuring a stingray lies on its side, urging one to "become a member today". Further symbolism unfolds as Ellie encounters a shark depiction just before her fall from a broken window, with a stingray positioned EXACTLY on the floor where she lands. On the same note there is a stingray positionned on the floor exactly where Ellie kills Mel & Owen. The cafe section of the aquarium, named "Stingray Bay Cafe," features murals depicting a beach with palm trees, foreshadowing the events to come in Santa Barbara. Abby's exploration of the aquarium with Yara while looking for Lev reveals a section named "Shipwreck Cove," dominated by a giant stingray overhead, further hinting at the impending encounters and sequences involving boats, serving as a metaphor for both characters feeling like shipwrecks by the end of their tumultuous journey.
Also, The use of animal symbolism during Ellie and Abby's confrontations adds a layer of complexity and depth to their dynamic. During their intense fight in the theater, the actions of Ellie and Abby mirror the characteristics of the animals associated with them. Abby's brute force and relentless attacks, smashing Ellie into the floor and causing them to fall to a lower level, hitting her with her fists or grabbing her, align with the symbolism of the crab and its claws. She also headbut Ellie ( bison ). In contrast, Ellie's actions, repeatedly tries spiking Abby with her knife like a stingray hitting its prey, reflect a more tactical and predatory approach. I invite you to re-check their fight at the theater with that in mind, it's really striking.
As we've discussed, these symbols are not merely decorative but serve as powerful storytelling devices, conveying concepts or themes of identity, transformation, and growth. Whether you've noticed these subtle details yourself or are discovering them for the first time, it's clear that the developers at Naughty Dog have crafted a meticulously designed world filled with rich symbolism and meaningful connections.
So, what are your thoughts? Have you spotted any other animal motifs or symbols ? Let me know your theories !

Hello and I hope you’re having a great day! I took ap lit last year and scored a 5 and got an a in the class. I just thought I’d share some of my favorite tips for annotating books/plays for ap lit. Hopefully this can help you a bit with summer reading or the class itself. There are obviously a ton of different ways to annotate so I’ll just be sharing my top tips on how to do it effectively!
Before annotating/reading:
My first step before I start annotating is to do some research into the themes of the story and maybe some major symbols/motifs. This will help you prepare to read the novel and notice these things from the start instead of having to go back and re annotate the first part of the story.
Another thing I’ve found helpful is to read around 25-50 pages before I begin annotating so I can familiarize myself with the basic characters and the authors writing style.
The final thing I do before actually reading and annotating is research the authors life and the time period in which the book was published. Context and chronology is especially important for books that center around society and/or politics. This background research can really help you deepen your understanding of the story as a whole especially the characters and themes.
Creating an annotation system:
This section will basically just give some suggestions for how you might actually annotate in practicality but please feel free to change and adapt this to fit what works best for you. So for me when I annotate I use a combination of pens, tabs, sticky notes, and highlighters. These items are by no means a necessity so just use whatever you have lying around.
I usually prefer underlining to highlighting as I find it looks neater and less overwhelming. I use multicolored pens to denote different things. This is adapted slightly for every book I read but I’ll share some of the most common categories I use. I almost always have a color for characters/character development, one for use of language, one for themes, one for plot, and one for motifs and symbols.
In addition, I also highlight occasionally but this is usually to mark very key quotes or lines that I know I’ll want to remember and will help me either for in class essays or for the final exam.
I mostly just write my notes in the margins but if there isn’t enough space then I’ll just use a sticky note for notes and analysis.
Finally, I also use little sticky tabs. I personally don’t color code mine, instead I’ll just use them to mark the most key scenes, pages, and plot points.
In practice:
So now that you’ve created your system however you choose to do so, it’s time to start annotating.
My number one tip is to just start. It might not look the nicest or be completely perfect from the start but with trial and error you’ll find a system that works really well for you!
My second tip is to not worry too much if you are doing it right. It’s your book and you decide what works best for you. Most people either over or under highlight when they start off and that’s totally fine! Just keep doing it and you’ll eventually figure it out.
My third tip is to write down/screenshot some of the key quotes and annotations for each theme and character. Put these online or in a notebook but make sure it stays decently organized because these quote + analysis banks will save you when writing essays in class and when preparing for the ap exam.
That’s all I have to say but please let me know if you have any questions or need any help! I’m sure you all will do super well in the class and on the exam :)

I was a damaged person. But I was on the mend.
I had a pretty traumatic break up with my childhood best friend, turned girlfriend. I had known her since we were 8 years old. We had been boyfriend and girlfriend since we were 13 and had been so for 9 years until my junior year of college when she cheated on me in a very cruel way. It came to light that she had cheated on me many times before as well.
I loved her so god damn much! I thought we were one of those stories where two souls were knitted together from eternity to eternity, or some hallmark card bullshit like that.
I was emotionally shattered and it took me a while until one day about 2 years later, I woke up and thought about her, but then realized that I hadn't thought about her at all the previous day. It was glorious and I knew then that I was on the mend. After that, my healing process sort of exponentially snowballed and I was back in the saddle as far as relationships went. I started going on dates and meeting up with women.
I was a software engineer working for a large corporation. Because I was good at my job, and because I didn't have a family, I was given the opportunity to move to Singapore and lead a project there for what would be a couple of years but turned out to be 7 years.
The great thing about Singapore is that they speak the "King's English" when they're not speaking "Singlish" (a patois of mostly English with funky grammar, but with Malay, Chinese, and Hindi thrown in). So I didn't have to learn a whole new language to fit in. I just had to learn how to translate Singlish to English, which wasn't too hard after a couple of months of trying. I even learned the lingo and it would amuse my coworkers a whole lot when I spoke Singlish. They thought it was hilarious.
I was a good looking guy (still am!!) but I really let myself go in my depression. I was a tall, muscular 210 pounds when I broke up with my ex, but I had ballooned up to over 300 pounds. I started a workout regimen and lost it all but the workout regimen became sort of an obsession. It was the one thing that grounded me. After I went to Singapore, one of my business perks was a gym membership at "Fitness First", a local gym franchise. I was down to my previous weight, but I had to practically camp out at the gym because the best thing about Singapore is the FOOD. The food is incredible! However, you WILL pack on the weight if you don't get your ass to the gym.
The meet cute
I was working out one day much later than normal due to some overtime on my project and I saw a girl on a treadmill. The treadmill was the one I usually use because it was in the back and kind of out of the way. The girl was stunning! The thing that stuck out to me was that she was had her hair in a pony tail through a ball cap, which is a look I find very attractive. I was a little nervous because, even though I was fairly confident about the way I look, I was definitely batting out of my league with this girl.
I went to her and chatted her up after she got off of the treadmill. She didn't look me in the eye and didn't really engage. I figured that I had acted like what is now known as a "gym creep" and I figured it was a "swing and a miss!" I apologized and said I wouldn't bother her anymore. I stuck out my hand and said "I'm OP, by the way. What's your name?"
She hesitated and looked at me for a bit and said "Lilly" (not her real name).
I remember this exactly because she later said that it was what intrigued her about me. At the time, she was an actress/model who had done some print/public billboard type ads, product demo booths at expos, and even a bit part in a local tv (Mediacorp) series. She had started to attract public attention because of these (mainly the TV show and the ads that were hanging all around town at that time) not just from men but from women too and it was super uncomfortable for her.
The fact that I had no idea who she was relaxed her and made her think that I was attracted to her for her and not because her face was everywhere at the time. After she told me about it, I did notice her face everywhere. But photoshop was a thing even back then, so I didn't recognize her from her ads and I really don't look at ads, tuning them out. I also didn't watch her TV show because it was in Mandarin Chinese and I don't speak or understand any Chinese, and I wasn't in a position where I was required to attend or arrange trade shows.
In the years prior to meeting me, Lilly had undergone a lot of plastic surgery (breast, eyelid, facial contouring, nose job, lipo, etc). She said it got to where she didn't recognize herself in the mirror and it disturbed and depressed her. She hadn't particularly wanted the surgery but she got the procedures done at the behest of her family who wanted her to bring in more money and the people in charge of her career development (don't know the term). It was all very expensive and she felt like she owed her family and the talent people who managed her.
Later, I found out that she hated the public recognition. Not just from men, but mostly from women who were really catty about her plastic surgery. The people in charge of her were pushing her to start singing but she didn't have a good voice and would need a bunch of training for that. She was depressed due to not recognizing herself in the mirror any more and didn't want to follow the career track that she had been on. They were pushing her to do more figure/body modeling which was why she was in the gym. She was SUPER uncomfortable with that and constantly hungry and pissed off.
She was afraid that she would do some more modeling and then get married off by her parents to some rich mainland Chinese man that she would be ambivalent about (she preferred Caucasian men) and she'd be forced to be a traditional pampered Chinese wife living in Beijing.(Doesn't sound that bad to me. Some of those Chinese businessmen live crazy luxurious lifestyles.
Since I was working a lot of overtime, I kept going to the gym later at night and we saw each other and I would wave and smile and she would smile and wave back. OK I was kinda hoping to meet her regularly. I spotted her on a couple of exercises and we began to chat with each other a bit. A couple of times I had to steady her because she was fainting from being hungry and working out at the same time. I used that as an excuse to take her out to a hawker center, which like a mall food court but with delicious local food (not chain restaurants). We chatted and got along really well. It became a regular thing until I confessed I had a crush on her. We started dating after that until it got to a point where she practically moved into my place.
She, of course, had her share of guys interested in her. She was on livejournal at the time (remember livejournal??) and she was doing that and posting pictures of herself for her career mostly, but I'm sure she did enjoy the attention. She had one guy from Belgium who was really after her. He actually bought her 800 thread count sheets, which is an oddly practical but vaguely inappropriate gift. He actually visited Singapore on business (he was a tech sales guy) and wanted to meet up with her in a public place, a hawker center. I still had trust issues from my previous "love of my life" betraying me. To this day, I cringe at my behavior at the time, but I laid down a clear boundary. She could absolutely go see and hang out with this guy if she wanted to, but if she did, she'd be doing it as a single available girl and we would be through. She said she saw my face "turn to stone" and it was clear that she would lose me if she went to meet up with that guy. That honestly gave her pause about our relationship and she really considered ending it at the time. I didn't know that until much later, though. Certainly, I'm glad that she didn't. She didn't go meet up with the guy. To this day, we call the incident "The Belgian Waffle". OK so I call it that, she thinks it's stupid.
Meeting her family
Eventually, Lilly asked if I could have dinner with her parents, saying that they wanted to meet me. I bought some gifts, basically Japanese cookies in really nice packaging, and then we met. I did the traditional thing and formally introduced myself and asked them about their family and history.
At the time, Lilly got some criticism from her extended family because I am a white guy. There was a certain stigma attached to local girls who liked white guys. They called those girls "SPGs" which stands for "Sarong Party Girls", a derogatory name for the prostitutes who would entertain British expats at after hours parties "back in the day".
Over the next few months, I won over her family mainly by eating their food and being accepting of their culture. I grew up in Texas, so pickled jalapenos were common in my house...like salt and pepper, we put them on everything. Later on, I was the kind of guy who put tabasco or sriracha on everything. So eating their spicy food was no problem for me. I remember us both going shopping at an open air market and seeing an older woman cutting up cili padi. I asked if I could try some. She looked at my pale face and then at Lilly and she said I could. I bit into one and chewed it up as the woman looked at me with an amused look on her face. She was waiting for me to jump up and down with fire shooting out of my mouth, I guess. I disappointed her, but she and Lilly were impressed. She later told her mother and she was impressed too. She wanted me to eat one for her as well. Oh well, trained monkey time I guess.
The real test came when I tried Durian for the first time. This is the same food that "defeated" Andrew Zimmern, the "Bizarre Foods" guy. I actually liked it. I had a D24 durian, which admittedly is like the "beginner version" of durians. There are like 16 different types. When you get past the smell and actually taste it, it doesn't smell that bad any more. It's very sweet and creamy. It's like the taste overwrites your disgust of the smell. I think that's what really impressed them to an extreme degree. They started calling me an "egg", because I was "white on the outside but yellow on the inside."
I would visit her grandmother with her. In true Chinese fashion, Lilly and her brother Johnny were raised by their paternal grandparents while their parents worked full time jobs, so her grandmother was like her mom. She was in an elder care facility at this point, though. She didn't like living there, but it was all they could afford. We would visit her every week and she'd be very happy. She didn't speak any English at all so she and Lilly would just chat speaking Hokkien Chinese while her grandmother would pet my hairy forearms like I was a dog. She was absolutely smitten with my hairy forearms.
Meeting my family
After a little over a year, I took her back to Texas to meet my family. It was quite the culture shock. Lilly was amazed by red barns and hay bales, black and white Holstein cows, things she saw in movies about the USA. She particularly was impressed by the cluster mailboxes lined up on country roads ("So cute, leh!") We actually had to stop the car and take pictures of her standing next to them, smiling goofily for the photo. I made sure to take her to the Texas hill country during spring, when the hills are covered with soft green grass and festooned with bluebonnets, sunflowers, indian paintbrushes, black eyed susans, daisies, etc. I had to practically hold her down to keep her from picking them. It's not illegal or anything, it's just frowned upon and tradition to leave them alone. OK, I let her pick some. Give me a break, I was in love with the girl.
Driving was also something that kind of boggled her mind. Texas is huge, and traveling from my parents' place to visit my brothers and their families was a seemingly endless trek. Driving from Houston to Austin, to Corpus Christi was crazy long, even with the stops to visit my relatives.
Lilly was practically agoraphobic at the big sky in Texas. She was used to being in a forest of tall concrete and steel buildings, with only strips of blue sky available at the top. In Texas that sky went from horizon to horizon. She was also amazed at the uncountable numbers of stars at night away from the city lights. She later told me it was like visiting Narnia or something.
In Texas, she got her share of looks from guys, especially in the bigger cities. I wasn't jealous. I've never been a jealous guy, although my experience with my ex "love of my life" really put my radar up, I still was proud that other guys were attracted to her. My attitude was "go ahead and eat your hearts out, she's with me!"
When she met my oldest brother, it was like a cultural thing with her, so she was very deferential and respectful. I knew that my oldest brother was attracted to her because he was stumbling and stuttering when he was speaking to her, looking at her but kind of avoiding looking at her. I wasn't too concerned because he was a married guy with 2 sons and not a scumbag, but it was still pretty amusing to see "Mr. Smooth-don't-let-em-know-you-want-em-kid" at a loss for words.
My parents met Lilly finally (she was super nervous but she did really well) and later my mom brought me aside and asked me if she should re-set her mother's diamond engagement ring. I thought about it a bit, and then told her "yes". My mom's eyes started sparkling with images of unborn grandchildren and she smiled bigger than I had ever seen her smile (kind of unsettling actually). My dad later brought me aside and basically told me I couldn't do any better and I would be a "god damn fool" if I let her get away from me. I agreed. My dad then told me something that remains with me to this day: "She will make your life sparkle, son." (she has).
Before our time in the US was up my mom gave me the ring and I asked Lilly to be my wife in a field of wildflowers, which had become her favorite place to be in Texas. She said yes. Looking back, that was one of the happiest days of my life. It was up there with losing my virginity to "the love of my life" (who turned out to be a duplicitous crazy person but at the time it was really special), my wedding day to Lilly, and the births of our children.
The Engagement
When we got back to Singapore we had to pretend we weren't engaged because I had to ask her parents for their daughter's hand in marriage. I spoke with them and explained how my prospects in my career were good. I told them that I loved their daughter and that my family also loved their daughter. We had to schedule a phone call between my parents and her parents.
I had clued my parents in as far as the traditions go. In Chinese culture, the groom pays for the wedding rather than the bride. The groom also has to give the bride's parents certain auspicious gifts. My parents luckily had done a tour of China a few years before and knew all of this beforehand, having befriended their local tour guide who was saving up money for his own wedding at the time. On the call, they agreed upon a pinjin, which is basically "betrothal money". We started to plan the Guo Da Li ceremony which would take place in 3 months time, and 3 months before the wedding.
Unfortunately life threw us a curve ball and Lilly's grandmother died. It was bittersweet because, while Lilly missed her, her grandmother had become very old and infirm to the point where her quality of life was pretty low. All wedding stuff was put on hiatus until the funeral was over plus 100 days for mourning.
After that, we were able to do the Guo Da Li ceremony. I gave my future in laws a red packet of money plus special cakes and 12 mandarin oranges and gold jewelry. It all went very well.
Wedding planning started in earnest. I got some money from my dad (who insisted) but the lion's share was out of my pocket. During this process I was able to meet some incredible people. The stand outs were Richard and Jimmy. Rich and Jimmy were tailors and dressmakers. They were a couple and they gave my fiancée a really good deal on a wedding dress and cocktail dress if she agreed to do some print modeling for their business. They also made me a tuxedo and a suit. I offered to model for them as well and we all had a good laugh at that prospect (OK they were doing most of the laughing - ego still hurts from that one, guys).
The venue we were using was Chijmes. It's the same one used in the move "Crazy Rich Asians". It was back when they had first started offering it up as a venue so it wasn't crazy expensive at the time. Plus, it was a smaller venue for weddings. Usually weddings are held in large hotel ballrooms and are huge affairs (this is what I was told). The families both invite everyone they've ever met to come: Neighbors, business contacts, everyone. They all bring red packets filled with cash. We opted for the "small" wedding.
The Bachelor Party
We had planned bachelobachelorette parties on the same night (separate venues). Lilly's MOH threw hers while Rich and Jimmy threw mine. My best man was my dad (because he's the best man that I know) and so cigars and brandy would have been disappointing to my work friends and my future brother in law and cousins. I don't think anyone was prepared for what happened.
We had the party at the sushi restaurant of a friend of Rich and Jimmy's. It was after hours. We had some incredible sashimi and rolls. I even tried fish sperm. Didn't like it. I asked Jimmy are you sure it's FISH, sperm?? He said of course he'd never do that to me. To be fair, it did taste and smell very fishy. I don't know how human sperm tastes like (or maybe I do now, I don't know).
After the sushi was done, it was time for the entertainment, and oh boy. Rich and Jimmy hired a trans entertainer who sang show tunes. The thing is, she had an incredible voice. She was obviously biologically male, but she really carried herself with a lot more femininity than I've seen from biological women. She sang and told jokes and roasted me pretty thoroughly. My dad was there and he thought it was funny as hell. My friends from work, especially the Aussies and Brits, thought it was great, my future BIL and most of my future cousins did too. Other cousins politely excused themselves and left. I think the free flowing booze and beer kept most people there, though.
After her thoroughly entertaining performance, it was time for the dancers. This is kind of where it went off the rails. Rich and Jimmy hired exotic dancers...but they were all male or trans. Now, to be fair, it wasn't like they didn't tell me about it beforehand. They did. Personally, I thought it would be hilarious to announce that the strippers were here and then have male dancers come out. I have a twisted sense of humor, I suppose. I certainly wasn't going to cheat on the most beautiful woman in the world mere weeks before our wedding, so prostitutes and female dancers were completely out of the question for me. They jokingly suggested male dancers it and we laughed. I thought about it a bit and I guess I'm "take-the-joke-too-far" guy so I encouraged it. Lilly knew about it and thought it was funny as well and wanted me to video tape it while it happened. ("Yeah right you just want to ogle the dancers" "Of course, lah!")
What I wasn't prepared for was the PLATOON of banana hammocks that marched out into the restaurant. Smooth greased up Asian chests everywhere! My dad was of course shocked at first and then looked at me and we started laughing and the ridiculousness of it. My dad stood up and clapped his hand on my shoulder and put a mock serious look on his face. The people immediately around me witnessed my dad telling me that he loved me and accepted my life style choice and that nothing I could say or do would ever change the fact that he and mom loved me and accepted me. Thanks, dad. I was laughing during the whole thing and my future BIL and work buddies who were around me were laughing as well. My dad excused himself and said he had to go find my mom and tell her the "bad news about her future grandchildren" and left ("Can adopt, lah! Can surrogate, meh!" Thanks for the support, guys). My future BIL laughed and said that since all of the available male dancers were at my party, there were none available to attend his sister's party, so she was "safe".
Among the highlights of the evening is that I discovered that a few of my co-workers and future cousins were in fact gay. I was told to stay out of the ladies' room no matter what. I wasn't planning on going in but thanks for the warning. I was proud that we all only vomited in the trash cans and not on the floor (what a waste of some damn good sushi....and fish sperm). Rich and Jimmy stayed next to each other all night. I even saw them holding hands and looking at each other lovingly. To my shame, I was under the common misconception that all gay men were very promiscuous and I kind of expected them to pair off with the dancers. What I saw that night was a very loving monogamous relationship.
The Wedding Day
The day of the wedding came a few days later and I had the good fortune of being the first one in my family to experience the fun and interesting experience of a groom going through a Chinese-style wedding. I say "Chinese-style" because while we did do a lot of the traditions from a Chinese wedding, we did say vows to God before a Christian minister. This was something she insisted on as her family had converted from Taoism to Christianity (but still kept the Taoist traditions and festivals).
First up was the gatecrash. I went over to the her family's apartment and the MOH and bridesmaids stood at the door refusing to let me in unless I gave them $9999.00. Nine is a significant symbol to them. It means "longevity" I think. So the whole idea is for me to haggle the price down by doing challenges and games. I had to do a handstand and walk with my hands. I had to answer trivia questions ("What is her nickname for you?" "Cranky old man" "What is your nickname for her?" "Baby"). BIL and I had to do "the worm". I haggled them down to $99 which I paid to them in a red packet. My BIL and wife chided me for not going lower but my dad was there and was in his 70s and couldn't do any feats of strength.
After I "secured" my bride, we did the traditional tea ceremony with her parents and my parents. Lilly was dressed in a traditional red silk qipao, tailor made by Rich and Jimmy. I gotta tell you people, the qipao really does it for me! Not gonna lie, it was like cupid gut punched me when I saw her dressed in it . My parents were pretty stoic throughout but my mom sympathy cried with Lilly's parents when she tearfully did the tea ceremony with her mother and father. We received red packets from each set of parents. I was told the red packet her parents gave us had most of the bride price we paid in it. Her mom gave her her grandmother's jeweled antique watch and my mom gave her a sapphire ring (sapphire is my birth stone). As we left her home to go to Chijmes, I told her "we're keeping that dress, understand me??" She laughed.
We got to Chijmes, did the photos and she walked down the aisle in a beautiful white dress with a small train behind it with sequins on it. My dad gave me the ring. He was my best man. He was my best man because he's the best man I know. After the wedding, she changed into a champagne colored strapless cocktail dress another Rich and Jimmy original. THREE wardrobe changes, people! THREE! All with different hair and make up and she did it super quick. I don't know what wizardry was invoked but we may be indebted to the hoary netherworld.
We honeymooned at the Fullerton Hotel. The old British colonial Post Office was converted to a luxury hotel in 2001. We stayed there for 3 days ordering overpriced room service ("Go to hawker center, lah! Much cheaper better food, meh!).
Emigration and Immigration
So a little bit before this time, a little event happened in New York. You might have heard about it. Anyway because some sexually repressed incels decided to murder thousands of people, USA's immigration was all jacked up. The INS went bye-bye. Then we had the BCIS for a brief moment, followed by the USCIS. I saw that my project was ending and my company helped me with her immigration. It was a pain, though. It seems like we had new forms to fill out every week while the old ones became obsolete. That's how I remember it, anyway. It was a pretty frustrating time and I almost had to leave her behind (it wouldn't have been permanent but it would be a long time). Luckily we were able to make it time.
For explanation purposes, we didn't get LEGALLY married in Singapore. We had the religious ceremony but no "government contracts" were involved. This is because, at that time at least, it was easier to bring over a fiancée than a wife, for some reason. So Lilly was a "90 Day Fiancée"!! We got married at the county courthouse when we finally were able to go to my new project. We didn't wait 90 days. We did in three (jet lag).
Unfortunately for her, we moved from Singapore, a 24 hour international class city, to a sleepy seaside town in the USA near a military base. Lots of fun was had with that. A total fish out of water story for another time (What is this "coin laundry"? Do you Americans have a place to wash your coins?).
My BIL got married to a beautiful girl and moved to Australia and opened a Bait and Tackle store in Surfer's Paradise on the east coast of Australia. He has 2 daughters. In 2012 he was caught cheating on his wife and lost everything. She moved back to Singapore with his kids, and he kind of struggled for a while. He got another bait and tackle store eventually and tries to see his daughters whenever he can. They don't have a good relationship.
Rich and Jimmy celebrated the decriminalization of homosexuality in Singapore in 2022, but they still can't get married. We still talk from time to time. Writing this, I find myself missing them. I had some really fun times because of them. I've never had better conversations in Singapore than with them while at Lilly's dress fittings (and my suit fittings).
We have been married for 21 years. She has never given up being a Singaporean citizen. She keeps her passport current. She's a "permanent resident" here in the USA. We have three kids, two boys and a girl. We are still married. She still wears her hair in a pony tail with a ball cap when she works out. She still wears that qipao on special occasions, which I try to achieve as often as possible. She's still my Baby and I'm still her Cranky Old Man.
Thanks for reading.

Please tell me I'm expecting too much from something that never really started, before I talk to him about it. Sorry, in advance for the long post.
I (32 f) met him (28 m) online in the middle of April. We instantly clicked. Problem was/is that I'm in a long term (9 year) relationship. We have a lot of issues from anger, finances, (suspected) infidelity, spending very little time together, household responsibilities, ideas for the future, etc. But I was so jaded, I was just kind of... okay with going day by day dealing with all that shit and never really confronting it.
Then I meet this guy. And all of a sudden I remember "Wait... guys can be.. nice?" I never hid from him that I was in a relationship, how long it was, or what was going on in it. He asked me about it and I said I was okay if he wanted to stop talking - I genuinely was, after all, it had only been an hour or two by the time we got to this part if the conversation. He said no and that he wanted keep talking. That he "can wait." We talked more and more and I realized I can't stay in my relationship. However, it's not easy to leave a 9 year relationship when we are on the same lease, have shared bank accounts and when - even if we have our problems - there is still genuine love&care there, bacause it's nearly a decade of our lives together.
But I've already started quietly making moves. I set up my own bank account to save up more of my paycheck before depositing it into our joint account. I started looking up apartment options for him to check out (the apartment we rent out is the 2nd floor of my parents house) once things are over so he's not left with no clue where to start looking, (though I suspect he'll be to angry/upset to read the listings). I also realize I've been standing up for myself a bit more during our arguments and I didn't even mean to be doing that.
This guy I met online, I told him how I'm realizing I need to leave and I want to. We spoke about him being worried he'd make me leave such a long relationship, and I wouldn't like him when we met and regret leaving. I told him the truth, that even if he and I didn't make it, I still realize I need to end things in my current relationship. That even if he is the catalyst to my process of breaking up, I'm not necessarily breaking up with my boyfriend "for" him - and I really do mean this.
But I'd be lying if I said I don't hope he's in my future. I'm not the kind of person who goes online and tries to dm people and start private conversations. I don't go out and flirt with people. When people have flirted with me, it's always been easy to turn them away, ignore the messages, or block them when they got weird. He is different though. During 2nd conversation on the 2nd day since meeting, he said he could see himself developing real strong feelings for me. He asked that I simply promise him that if there are ever problems between him and I or if I am overwhelmed with my relationship and talking to him at the same time, that I please not ghost him, and that instead we just talk about it like adults. He said he had a terrible experience with someone ghosting him and he never wants to feel that again or do that to someone.
There's a 6 hour difference. We messaged every day for a couple weeks for maybe 3 hours. Then it became mostly in the evenings for about an hour. Now it's become a single 'How are you, hope you had a great day, sweetie <3' from him at his 11 pm - 1 am hour time zone, right before he falls asleep. I could message him 3 minutes later and not hear from him til the next day, where again, it would just be a similar "how are you" kind of message right before he falls asleep. Lately, there have been days I don't hear from him at all, even if I've messaged him.
I want to talk to him about it. Is that weird? Am I expecting too much from a guy who is 6 hours ahead of me and who I'm not even in a relationship with? Sometimes I feel like I am expecting too much. He has pretty stressful job and friends he hangs out with. Other times I feel like it really shouldn't be that hard to send a single message during his waking hours if he actually wanted to see how I was. I don't know. Someone please tell me I'm expecting too much. I have a whole message/letter written out, but haven't sent it because I don't know if I should. Sorry, again, for the long post.

Oki Oki I so excited to finally type this out this idea has been on my mind for so long so I rlly rlly type this out
Ok so charlotte Herrington is born to like a crazy rich family and basically her parents neglect her alot and are mentally abusive and the only person who kinda cares abt her is her aunt who is severely depressed and basically when she was 16 her aunt took her life {she hung herself in her apartment} and charlotte was visiting her and she has an extra pair of keys to her aunts house and she unlocked the door and she saw her aunts dead body and obviously she called the police and basically it was ruled out as suicide but there was something really eerie abt her body charlotte’s family’s company’s emblem was engraved on her aunts palm and the police thought it was some weird way of leaving a suicide note before she died {since a lot of people do weird symbolic things before they take their lifes} and charlotte is super creeped out and heavily traumatised at that so basically she decides to do some research abt her family and all that and she finds out that a few missing person cases and she does some research on that cuz she’s super bored and guess what all THOES missing person cases lead back to their family emblem so blah. Blah blah blah a lot of research scenes later charlotte finds out her family is running an organ trafficking ring so yea and she was obviously even more traumatised so she decides to go to her aunts house {they didn’t sell it away cuz they thought maybe charlotte could use it} and basically all her aunts belongings are there and she was looking through an album she and her aunt made and there was a note hidden between the pages and it basically told charlotte how much she loves her and she wishes that she could adopt charlotte but sh can’t {financial reasons} and that she just loves her a lot and then she wrote that charlotte shouldn’t trust her parents and all taht and basically through clues and letters hidden throughout the room she finds out that her aunt actually found out abt her parents organ trafficking ring and she was being mentally tortured by her parents and she just couldn’t take t anymore and kills herself but before she does it she carved her family’s company’s emblem on her palm to foreshadow taht her death was charlottes parents fault and basically charlotte is extremely traumatised and she has a whole mental breakdown and she goes back to her parents house and yeah she looks really distraught and all that so her dad questions her and she keeps avoiding everything and her dad finds out that she knows the secret and basically her parents chase her down the house to get rid of her but she escapes to the police station with all the clues {and a tape recording of her parents confessing abt it} and she obviously reports them and bla blah blah the parents get sentenced to life in prison and basically charlotte is free now so but her life feels so empty and she can’t take it anymore so she kills herself but before she does it she donates everything to charity and leaves a very lengthy suicide nit thanking the world for being kind to her and all that and before the ending of the book she jumps off a building

DD1 - $600 - 4-SYLLABLE WORDS - Let's "walk" over to this word describing something ordinary or commonplace
DD2 - $2,000 - MOVIES' OPENING LINES - 1970: "Be seated. Now I want you to remember that no bastard ever won a war by dying for his country"
DD3 - $1,200 - BRAVING THE ELEMENTS' SYMBOLS - Alphabetically, it's the first element with a single letter as its symbol
Correct Qs: DD1 - What is pedestrian? DD2 - What is "Patton"? DD3 - What is boron?
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Hi Everyone, later this month I will be 7 years out of my Glioblastoma diagnosis. I was 30 years old when I was diagnosed and am 37 years old now. Over the last 6+ years, I have been put in contact with many people battling the same diagnosis and decided to create a Word document titled "Health & Happiness", which details all of the things I have incorporated into my healing journey. Everyone is different and I am simply sharing what has worked for me. Neither me or my wife are in the medical field however we have spent a lot of time researching things to integrate into my day-to-day life which we believe are keeping me healthy. For the first 5 years of my journey I received MRI's every 8 weeks; now that I am more than 5 years out I get MRI's every 12 weeks. Below is a copy and paste of the document:
*Below there are some discount codes that I have not affiliation with and found them through IG or marketing emails and they might be outdated*
My Neurosurgeon:
Dr. Mitchel Berger - UCSF
My Neuro Oncologist:
Dr. Timothy Cloughesy - UCLA
My Naturopathic Doctor:
· Christian Gonzalez, ND
o Check out his podcast, “Heal Thy Self” – This podcast has been life-changing for my wife and I. It has provided us with assurance about the path that we have been on to keep me healthy and has opened our eyes to so many things that we thought were “good” and “healthy” when in fact we were grossly misled to a technique called “Green Washing” that a lot of companies and products use in their marketing efforts.
· Below are two links where you can find a ND in your area.
o Naturopath Oncologist Database - https://oncanp.org/directory/
o General Naturopath Doctor Database - https://www.naturopathic.org/AF_MemberDirectory.asp?version=2
CBD/THC Extracts - Cancer Protocols:
· I went through CT's full 90 day protocol back in 2017 in conjunction with radiation and chemo (Temodar). I am on CT's "maintenance" program and have been since I finished the 90 day protocol.
o https://www.constancetherapeutics.com/
o https://www.forbes.com/sites/abbierosne2019/01/24/constance-finleys-midlife-detour-to-cannabis-extraction-connoisseu#456c41bc35c6
§ The article above is from Forbes magazine on Constance and how she got started.
Books and Documentaries:
· Radical Remission. This book was the first book I read when I was diagnosed and gave me knowledge and motivation to not look at my diagnosis as a death sentence. One of the most powerful cancer books I have read and I highly recommend it for anyone that has cancer or knows someone that has cancer. 😊
· What the Health: Netflix
· Heal: Netflix
o Here are a couple ‘extras’ from “Heal” that we found very powerful and inspiring.
§ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7sxmK8A-Kco&list=PLmcZvnvGDkToo9nYIX3ugcgyLCll0NLLc&utm_content=b080891cf2ccb1c272c432873d52f9cd&utm_campaign=Don%27t+believe+you+can+change+your+destiny%3F+This+video+could+help+you+change+your+mind.&utm_source=Robly.com&utm_medium=email

§ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EeQjNRahxrw&feature=youtu.be&utm_content=eadbd6e0e0dff2d44d28e6515fa4c2a1&utm_campaign=Rob+Wergin+use+his+incredible+and+unique+gifts&utm_source=Robly.com&utm_medium=email

o The Documentary “Heal”, did so well they wrote a book as well.
· The Game Changers – A documentary on Netflix.
· Forks Over Knives - Netflix
· Cowspiracy – Netflix
· The China Study – Book outlining the most comprehensive study done on nutrition, and the links the standard American diet has to all types of diseases including cancer.
· Being In Balance - Book
· You The Healer – Book
· The Power of Now – Book
· The Celestine Prophecy – Book
· How Not To Die – Book
· The Truth About Cancer – Documentary


Supplements I am taking:
· Maca Root
· Vitamin B12
· Gaia – “Liver Health”
· Bladderwrack & Sea Moss
o We purchase these from- https://alkalineveganshop.com/
· Mushroom Supplements: Chaga, Turkey Tail, Maitake, Reishi, Cordyceps & Lion’s Mane (Real Mushrooms is the company we use.) See video and article below about the health benefits of mushrooms.
o https://www.realmushrooms.com/
o https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uuL_faveAnw
o https://www.drweil.com/health-wellness/body-mind-spirit/canceturkey-tail-mushrooms-for-cancer-treatment/
o Paul Stamets is the CEO of Host Defense and his mother was diagnosed with Stage Four Breast Cancer. He gives a lot of credit to her remission from the mushroom supplements. https://hostdefense.com/also has a 10% off first time order. We order from Vitacost.com though due to their sales and free shipping.
· Agaricus Mushroom – I take it at night with my Essiac Tea (See Below)
· Kelp
· Vitamin D3
· Graviola/Soursop – (can be taken as a supplement or in Tea form)
· Ashwagandha –Benefits and study links below. In the first link below, each number found in the article is a hyper link showcasing different studies that have been conducted proving the benefits listed.
o https://www.healthline.com/nutrition/12-proven-ashwagandha-benefits#section3
o https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/26650066
· Vitamin B2
· Boswellia (Frankincense)
· Melatonin
· CoQ10
[· X-R Shield by LifeExtension – My ND prescribed me to take these 5 days prior to air travel, during travel and 5 days after air travel. When flying, you’re exposed to high amounts of radiation and this supplement helps to protect cell DNA damage]()
· Chaparral
o We purchase these from- https://alkalineveganshop.com/
· Liposomal Glutathione – Quicksilver Scientific
· NAC (N-Acetyl-L-Cysteine, Free-Form)
· Co-E1 NADH
· Probiotic – Klaire Labs, Ther-Biotic Complete
· Life Cykel Mushroom Tinctures
o https://us.lifecykel.com/?rfsn=3953957.f0c203&utm_source=refersion&utm_medium=affiliate&utm_campaign=3953957.f0c203
o Discount code: 0DCB4626
o Chaga, Turkey Tail, Reishi, Lions Maine, Cordyceps, Shitake
o All of the above mushrooms are harnessed in Kakadu Plum juice which is the most Vitamin C dense fruit in the world.
· We get most of our supplements from http://www.vitacost.com . They have sales all the time and free 2-day shipping.

Teas:
· Senna Tea - I drank this on the nights I took Temodar (Chemo) to prevent constipation, it's a lot easier on your body than any OTC medication.
· Essiac Tea - I drink 4 oz. of this every night before bed. People who have defeated cancer give a lot of credit to Essiac Tea.
o We purchase it in loose leaf form from https://www.starwest-botanicals.com/
· Moringa
· Dandelion
· Teas with Turmeric
[· Pique Tea – Organic, ceremonial grade, triple screened for heavy metals, mold toxins and pesticides. This is the only tea that we have been able to find that has a triple screening process for heavy metals. “Organic” does not mean free of heavy metals.]()
o Discount Code: GREENFIELD 15% off!

Other things I do:
· Meditation – Every day for 20 minute – I started off with the app called “Headspace” other people use “Calm”. Its personal preference.
o I am looking into taking a TM class (Transcendental Meditation) and will let you know once I do.
[· Minimizing EMF exposure as much as possible]()
o Sleeping with our phones in airplane mode and away from us, ideally in another room
o Turning off Wi-Fi at night, and even when not in use
o Covering Wi-Fi router and Digital Electricity Meter (outside of house) with EMF guards
§ These can be found here: https://smartmeterguard.com/
o Keeping cell phones away from our bodies as much as possible
o Not using anything wireless near our heads. This includes cell phones (always talk on speaker phone or a wired ear pod connection), air pods or any type of Bluetooth headphones, this includes Bluetooth in the car.
o Hardwiring my office so there is no need for Wi-Fi.
· When we fly, we have these blankets that we wrap around our body. This company has a lot of great products that protect you from EMF exposure.
o https://www.defendershield.com/emf-radiation-protection-blanket
· We also wear these when we fly, they are a company out of Australia
o https://radiasmart.com/emf-hat-hood/
o This is what we have: RS EMF radiation protection hood, blocking RF, EMF- Brian Coat
· Here is another company that is popular, we were not aware of it at the time of buying the other products above.
o https://getlambs.com/products/emf-proof-beanie
· Positive attitude and mindset in everything I do- link below to article explaining how thoughts can benefit or hinder your body
o https://www.huffpost.com/entry/how-your-thoughts-change-your-brain-cells-and-genes_b_9516176
· Eliminate as much stress as I possibly can from my everyday life
· Be present in my mind
· Yoga
· Spin
· Writing down 3 things that I am grateful for each night before bed
· Using Frankincense oil on my feet and pillow, every night, before bed
· Morning Routine: Body Scan Meditation, Drink a liter of water when you wake up (Your body is most dehydrated after a full night’s sleep), stretch or some type of quick 10 minute workout to get your body moving in the morning, “I Am” affirmations (I will usually do this right after I finish my morning stretching, I will typically say 5-10 things out loud to myself, for example (I am healthy, I am a loving husband, I am kind, etc…), statements of gratitude (I will mix this in with my “I Am” affirmations, for example, I am grateful for my bed, I am grateful for my home, I am grateful to have access to organic produce, etc…) I try to focus on this that I have in my life instead of things that I want, rubbing a 1-2 drops of any organic essential oil that you like in your hands in the morning and taking 4-5 deep breaths with your hands over your mouth and nose (this is very helpful in awakening your sensory functions), lastly, I listen to music when getting ready for work in the morning. Soft music in the morning taps into the creative side of your brain and research has shown that individuals that listen to soft music in the morning are more creative and productive throughout the day than those who don’t.
· Taking a walk every day to get fresh air and disconnect, normally with the dogs J
· Circuit Training
· Acupuncture / Energy Healing
· Energy Healer – Steve Montoya – Let me know if you would like his contact info. He travels all over the world healing people. He is in the LA/OC area once a quarter or so.
o https://ramonashealingjourney.wordpress.com/2015/11/04/you-shall-know-them-by-their-love/
· Keeping my body warm at all times. We learned from Traditional Chinese Medicine, that keeping the body warm protects the kidneys, which means all of the other organs can do their job and the body can heal. Also, just for example, when you have a fever, it’s your body’s way of protecting all of your vital organs so that they can do their job, as well as preventing any proliferation of bacteria and viruses.
o http://aprilcrowell.com/asian-medicine/warm-to-the-core/
· John of God – Brazil. Lauren’s cousin went down to visit him during the 4th quarter of 2018 and took a head shot of myself as well as a two-page letter sharing my story. He is a spiritual healer that helped a young man get to a state of meditation where his brain tumor shrunk to nothing. He sent back two bottles of Herbs (Ground Up Passion Flower Leaves – Actual Name: Passiflora) for me to take. There is a large portion about him in the book “Radical Remission” and he is featured in “Heal” as well.
· I brush my teeth with my less dominant hand once a day and then with my dominant hand the other two times.
o This helps stimulate parts of the brain that are not in use often. You can do this with many things, brushing your hair, using your less dominant foot in sports, washing your body with soap while showering.
· Drinking and eating out of glass vs. plastic. It’s having an effect on both men and women’s endocrine systems (hormones, fertility, etc…)
o https://www.plasticpollutioncoalition.org/pft/2017/7/26/new-endocrine-disrupting-chemicals-are-undermining-male-fertility
· This may sound like something so simple but it’s quite challenging: When moving/changing physical positions I am always present. For example, every time I sit, I tell myself I am sitting, every time I stand to walk, I tell myself I am standing. This helps me to bring my mind into a present state and focus less on the future or past.
o This was a recommendation during one of my guided meditations.
· Laughing, loving and hugging every day. This was a big take away for Lauren and I from reading the book Radical Remission. It’s important to laugh every day, love every day and receive and give hugs to people every day. I know, I know, it sounds crazy but it has worked on other folks, we practice it every day. We try to watch more comedies if we are going to watch a movie on the weekend, an easy way to incorporate laughter into your life.
· We recently added air purifiers into our home. I also have one in my office. We purchased the Molekule, but through research we found that the Air Doctor is another good option (and I believe also a little less expensive). Here is a discount code for $100 off a Molekule: MetroMD100
· IR Sauna (Infrared Saunas)
o These are great for detoxifying the body, especially after air travel. I go to Perspire (https://perspiresaunastudio.com/) here in Orange County.
· Epsom Salt Baths – Especially after air or any long car travel as well.
· Grounding/Earthing – Walk around barefoot on your backyard grass or anywhere there is a plot of “Earth”. Feel the grass between your toes or if you are at the beach, be aware of the sand between your toes. We are all energy and Earth contains energy, manifest the energy from the Earth into your body for increased healing, awareness, presence and mindfulness. I do this for about 10-15 minutes.
· Cold Showers (as cold as the shower can get) every morning and Ice Plunges. Look up the “Wim Hof Method”
o https://www.wimhofmethod.com/

Diet:
· For the past 6+ years we have followed a whole food plant-based diet (vegan without the junk food). Cancer cells feed off of Glucose (Sugar) firstly, but can also utilize glutamate as a second source of fuel (which is in all animal protein, land and sea). I have also cut out all artificial sugars from my diet. Dairy is also extremely inflammatory for your body and has been linked to cancer in many research studies.
· White Carbs and Gluten - We have eliminated these from our diet as much as we possibly can. Even for people who do not have a ‘gluten intolerance,’ gluten is very hard on the body’s digestive system. Excessive consumption can lead to a leaky gut, which causes toxins to seep out of the digestive tract into the body/blood making it hard for your immune system to work at its peak. Also, most gluten products have high levels of glyphosate, which they’ve linked to cancer. Glyphosate acts like an antibiotic to your gut (not in a good way), wiping out all of the beneficial gut flora which are there to keep your immune system working efficiently.
· Alkaline Foods and Water - Cancer cells cannot grow in an alkaline environment; we drink water with a PH level of 9.5. We recently invested in a Kangen water machine for our home. A level of 7 PH is balanced and anything below 7 is acidic. Cancer cells thrive in an acidic environment. Things that make your body acidic are alcohol, dairy, meat, processed and artificial sugars and gluten.
· I drink warm lemon water with apple cider vinegar every morning, which also helps alkalize the body and keep stomach acid levels at a great pH for food absorption.
· We practice intermittent fasting, which allows the body to not worry about processing food for a large portion of the day but rather allow its immune system to be working at its peak ability. We started out by only eating from 12 PM - 8 PM and are working toward 12 PM - 6 PM. Intermittent fasting is really important when taking Temodar (or any chemotherapy). It allows the body to protect the healthy cells while targeting cancer cells. There is so much research showing the benefits of intermittent fasting for cancer patients.
· This is a really interesting article citing a lot of different sources regarding a plant-based diet and fighting/preventing cancer:
o https://www.vivahealth.org.uk/veganhealth/dont-feed-cancer

Other Things to Research:
· Dr. Sebi – He is the doctor who put a full-page ad in the NY Post and was sued to take it down. When he went to his court hearing the judge asked him if he could prove that he healed anyone, and he furnished 70 patients of his that were healed by his treatment and the Judge declared “not guilty” on all the charges that were brought against him by the State of New York.
o The link below is a quick rundown of his life. I believe the pharmaceutical companies were heavily involved with his death in while he was imprisoned in Honduras.
o https://wakeup-world.com/2015/08/28/dr-sebi-the-man-who-cures-aids-cancer-diabetes-and-more/
· Radiation Stickers for your cell phone and laptop:
o https://www.amazon.com/Radiation-Protection-Labobbon-Household-Appliances/dp/B078SSD6QC
· We also try to use the ‘cleanest’ hygiene products we can find. There are many harmful chemicals in our everyday toothpastes, shampoos, deodorants, etc. Chemicals to avoid in hygiene products below:
o Shampoo – Sodium Lauryl Sulfate, Sodium Laureth Sulfate, basically any ‘sulfate,’ Parabens, Sodium Benzoate. Brands that we like are: 100% Pure, Acure, Alaffia
o Toothpaste – Sodium Lauryl Sulfate, Sodium Laureth Sulfate, basically any ‘sulfate’, fluoride, triclosan, DEA, Propylene Glycol, Microbeads. One of the worst toothpaste brands out there is Colgate. We use Himalaya Botanique & Nature’s Gate as well as Dr. Bronner’s All-In-One toothpaste.
o Deodorant – Aluminum, Parabens, Triclosan, DEA, Propylene Glycol. We have been testing out natural deodorants for years and our favorite (although not vegan) is from a company called Primally Pure. We’ve also started to use a brand called Joyous Organics with clean (and minimal) ingredients.
o A great website to reference for beauty product ingredients and their safety is https://www.ewg.org/
§ Skin Deep Database – This is where you will find clean products to put on your body.
· https://www.ewg.org/skindeep/

· The Clean Fifteen and Dirty Dozen
o The EWG, each year, comes out with an updated list of produce that we should be buying organic 100% of the time (Dirty Dozen), especially people like you and I who have had cancer. The Clean fifteen can be purchased conventionally if you can’t find them in an organic form and conventional is the only option
o https://www.ewg.org/foodnews/clean-fifteen.php
o https://www.ewg.org/foodnews/dirty-dozen.php

· The link below is a good read on Monsanto’s Glyphosate and the timeline for removal in home use:
o https://www.ewg.org/news-insights/news-release/2021/07/bayer-end-residential-sales-cancer-causing-weedkiller-glyphosate?utm_source=newsletter&utm_campaign=202108News&utm_medium=email&emci=9a939839-bef6-eb11-b563-501ac57b8fa7&emdi=4d3bfe91-dbf7-eb11-b563-501ac57b8fa7&ceid=2210188
These are things that we have done and have found to be successful so far with my body, and hopefully, they are helpful for you as well. I have also included some images below that show how damaging the effects of Wi-Fi radiation (and all of the radiation coming from electronics) can be.

So my 7 year old son has always been into hot wheels. He recently found out about treasure hunt on YouTube and this boy has been on a mission to find one. He’s saved videos on what stores people have found them at. What days to go. What time to go etc. We were at target a few days ago and he saw them stocking the hot wheels area and he waited patiently for the girl to finish stocking before trying to look through them all. He could only reach the bottom row but he was determined. I was with my girls so I told him I would be on the next aisle over. I peeked over to make sure he was ok after a few seconds and there was another guy there at the hotwheels that I noticed in the area earlier.
My son quietly walks back over to me and I ask if he found anything and he said no and seemed even more disappointed than normal (he’s never found one) fast forward to checkout and the guy that was in the hotwheels aisle from earlier is behind us and he has about 6 hotwheels and some Pixar’s Cars cars. I kept glancing to see if they were treasure hunt and sure enough I saw the symbol. I didn’t say anything but my son kept looking over and he saw it too and said “dad look he found some!” The guy heard it and turned around and put his AirPods in and called someone on his phone.
I quickly realized why my son looked so disappointed when he walked back to me in the toy area. I collect stuff and I look out for rare or hard to find items anytime I’m out shopping but if I ever were in the situation where I saw a little kid desperately looking through the same stuff I was looking through I’d definitely leave at least one for him. I think I’m most disappointed because my son doesn’t want it to flip he just wants one to have for himself. Maybe I’ve been softened up being a dad for so many years.
What are some tips you guys can offer to help find one? I’m definitely gonna be helping my boy out now after what happened. Thanks in advance for any help.

I know it's more than likely that no one cares, but having received a letter from student finance confirming my loans, the reality of me going to university is setting in.
For context, I'm 23, got kicked out of college after leaving school and ended up working in construction (on site) for the last 5 years (with stints of unemployment and lesser paying jobs for varying reasons)
I always wanted to go to uni as a kid, then fell into the wrong crowd at the end of school, became heavily reliant upon weed, and basically smoked the last five years away.
I'm still smoking, don't get me wrong lmao, but I've just finished an access to HE course in psychology with all distinctions and am confident in myself for my next few years at my uni.
It's never too late to go (back) to university people, even if you have to start from scratch cuz you fucked up like I did lol.
Again, I know it probably doesn't mean much to most people, but I'm so happy for myself and my future that I had to write a little something.
Have a good weekend people.

I really wish I could talk to you.. or that you'd want to listen. I'm going through a really tough time right now. Alot has happened the past couple of months.. I was in the hospital on and off for blockages in my intestines.. then my plans for the next few years just went in flames... my family has become unbearably toxic.. downright abusive towards me and my parents to each other ( they have decided to get a divorce, which is actually a relief as my mother is a narcissist, I may or may not have told you)..but yeah.. its gotten so bad that I have to move back to NYC for Kat's sake. We weren't supposed to leave until next week but my parents started becoming borderline violent with each other and our initial plan was to stay with them while we travelled during the summer and then stay with them until I found a house to buy while saving up for the closing costs... but I can't jeopardize my daughters well being by keeping her here....especially since I so rely on them for childcare. So I am sending her to stay with her Abuela in Staten Island until I'm able to sort everything out and join her. It should hopefully only take a week...
I also got in a pretty heated debate with my daughters father recently.. about me wanting to move back to PR after I get my finances in order for the closing costs and my financial nest egg rebuilt.. He called it "third world country"... he can be such a racist POS sometimes. Ironic because he's boricua by blood.. I agreed to keep my options open and look at other places too,. such as nashville and las vegas...he wanted me to entertain Los Angeles but I have no desire to ever move there... in regards to my relationship with her father... I love my daughter and dont regret the decision to have her with him and will always care for him as well, but I never fully loved him the way I do love you or others in my past.. which is probably why I'm able to be somewhat of "friends" with him today.. You really had nothing ever to be concerned about there...
I'm not sure if you will ever see this letter. I know the words you said to me were very clear that you essentially don't want me in your life or "feel the same" towards me, which absolutely breaks my heart... you were the one person I've felt like I could completely be myself and vulnerable with.. and it hurts so much to not have you in my life anymore.. or not to have the love I have for you reciprocated... for some reason, I believe you're looking for me online somewhere and I'm not completely delusional and carry this small hope that you said that because you were just feeling overwhelmed at the time.... God I miss you... I was so happy when I saw you in January.. you could probably tell by the love in my eyes how much in high regard I keep you...
I didn't mean all the evil shit I said to you.. I was hurt.. you didn't deserve that..and there is nothing significant going on with me and the person.. he was trying to manipulate me when he said those things that I showed you the last text I sent you..which I dont know if you ever saw or not.. or if you blocked me.. could be a moot point... but just to be transparent.. nothing there emotionally.. He was trying to confuse me so he could keep me under his thumb in terms of our long standing fwb arrangement which I called him out for and he apologized... we are still friends but much more distant than ever before..we rarely talk these days..
I feel like I've been in a full blown grief recovery phase.... I haven't seen your face in motion or heard your voice in such a long time.. I miss it so much.. I know I need to heal and us coming together right now.. that would be a really bad idea.. but I really hope that I can see you at least for one of the weekends when I visit in July-August... To touch you, hold you, kiss you and hear you rant and talk about things that you're passionate about... Sometimes I wish I could have a baby boy that looks just like you, the picture of you as a little boy is so adorable.. but yeah.. that sounds like absolute madness... but that's love I guess... or delusion.. haha..
I'm back in therapy with someone that specializes in attachment, IFS and somatic healing.. hoping it helps with my FA attachment style... anyways.. now that I've poured my heart out and made a complete ass out of myself.. I'm signing off.
Thinking of you...

Long post but at the end of it, you will know how the Mark-of-the Beast,
is literally attached to the Number-of-the Beast!
The Number is the exact opposite of the Legendary Cross-of-Constantine,
the Cross from the Emperor's Vision.
That Cross is created from the Symbols of the Greek letters X and P,
with the head pointing to the right..
X is 600 & P is 100
The Number-of-the-Beast was also 616.
Which is 600, 10, & 6.
The letters of these numbers also create a Cross,
but this is a Mirror-image Cross!
600 is still our X.
10 is the letter I,
a Vertical Line.
We now have the exact same structure as the Cross-of-Constantine,
except it's missing the Head..
The last number 6 is this Symbol ϛ STIGMA!
If you attach this last ϛ symbol to the Vertical stroke, an exact mirror image of the Cross-of-Constantine appears!
This symbol is where we get our word Stigma, or Mark.
Jesus had Stigmata; several marks or Stigmas.
This is what the 'Mark of the Beast ', symbolism is about!
1
A mark given by the Leader, or ...Head of this System to his Followers.
2
A mark given in attacking the Opposing Faithful, ...the first of whom was Jesus.

I want to take a second to have a genuine moment with you, as a person, but through my art.
So many have this idea that writing is something you have to do alone. I don’t agree with that. I’ve never written alone. Even if/when I do the act itself in solitude; I always chatted with people, I was surrounded by friends and family; my art reflects how I feel at any given moment. When I read things I wrote 15+ years ago, I can remember the impactful moments and interactions that really helped shape that era. So when I’m around my support system and I feel good? I make art. When I’m stuck in my head, self-isolating from that support system?? Art is how I reach out and ask for help [and as you know me, that’ll make more sense].
Even when I went through a phase of my life where I wasn’t “writing” I was always being creative or an active audience member. So if I wasn’t writing, I was listening to music or playing instruments; practicing calligraphy; reading books; watching new shows and movies. Content is art, and the internet is so integral to this new budding society [and a big part of my personality].
So they—being the many, the few, the minority, or even just you— may be asking… Why are you even doing this? If you even get this far enough to question me about that, you get a point [you might just be the point]. You inspire a part of me to share! It’s not to prove a point, it’s because you ask such good questions. That inspires ideas in me.
I am turning 25 in July and I’m in a unique generational position; I grew up online—again, a big part of my personality—but I’m a student at heart, with the soul of an artist, and the makings of what is most likely undiagnosed-slash-unmedicated adhd … I feel like I had a point in there somewhere, but I digress.
I believe that, culturally, we’re moving past the academic restraints and restrictions that have stifled creativity. I don’t subscribe to “academic” and “proper” grammar because it’s boring… Both to read and to write. At this point it actively excludes brilliant artists who—on average—don’t have access to the same resources or even quality of material [I might be projecting, whatever. I get told my grammar is horrible all the time… but did you have fun reading it???? Exactly].
On paper, it doesn’t seem like I have the “qualities” and “capabilities” to be hired on. One might argue, I don’t have the experience. By whose standards? Since I could hold a pen long, I have written whatever half-thought-out-not-very-original-thought I had based on whatever new concept I encountered. Soon, those concepts became the influences and a part of my writing style. In a way, reading was a way to safely explore the world, and writing was how I processed what I learned. It would later be the tool I used to express myself to the world.
I started telling stories before I could write… or even speak properly, some aspects won’t change [read: I will never stop talking tbh]. I always give the concrete age 7 as a point of reference for how long I’ve been writing. I always had someone to tell a story to; I'm now the oldest of about 8 kids [give or take a parent or two]. I’ve always written for an audience, even if the audience was myself.
I’ve lived the life of a “trendsetter” for my family, siblings, friends, and generally I’ve always been a source of inspiration for strangers who meet me, too. I naturally network and have a support system of artists from all over the world, from different artistic eras of my life, who deserve a platform to showcase how brilliant they truly are. And all I do is talk too much.
I will be taking the world by storm, and have had 25 years of essentially being a genuine artist as my experience. That’s hard to capture on a resume. Imagine what I can do with you guys, as a 25 year old with 18+ years of living artistically and naturally inspiring others to do so. I may not have the “real life experience” you’re looking for, but wouldn’t you rather mold generational talent into a disciplined force of humanity?
When you meet me? You’ll invest in me. How could you not when, after our initial conversation when you’re already thinking about the ways you could utilize my talent…
You’d be creating art like you’ve never had before… and the only thing you have to do differently? You will create art more purposefully, and will want to hold yourself accountable to doing things with and of quality. I won’t tell you what to do, and I will never take creative licenses away from you; but I can lead and guide through example. If this little essay doesn’t show you that I’m everything you didn’t realize you wanted, and everything you instinctually need. What you describe as a “job”, I do already in my daily life for myself and my friends. Difference is? I just don’t have the platform I need to have the impact I want… yet.
Again, you might not know me (yet), but my ability to connect with people is ingenious. If you make it this far in my baby cover letter… you might just agree. You might just find yourself wanting to take a gamble on me. And if not? That’s okay, cause someone will. And when we meet down the line, I can’t promise not to tell the story of how you guys fumbled me… but what was that about digressing?
[Fun fact: I write one of these specifically catered to each job I have enough faith to want. I believe we could do some groundbreaking work, and revolutionize the industry if you add me to your team. Wait until you get me in person and hear my ideas!]
Honestly, if you ever take anything from what I write/say/do: take away whatever emotions I make you feel when you connect with me and my art. Run with it. It might truly be a reflection of how I feel about you. How you interact with my art is honestly more telling than anything else [how anyone treats “amateur” art that isn’t seen as “classically/traditionally trained in the arts]. Tried and tested theory, worked all my life 10/10 works. The more genuinely you interact with my art, you interact with me. I'm enough of a walking paradox to admit it and be human about it. I don’t have the mastery of my arts yet, but at least I’m learning to exercise and stretching those muscles [read: rights].
And dear reader, duh you! The one who always gets to the end (or even reads the entire thing for extra brownie points)… you know the rest lol.
~
(Currently lost in the abyss that is reddit, sorry if you see this twice. Might as well throw in long time lurker first time poster or whatever. Since this basically became a disclaimer, I don’t prioritize grammar as much, as long as my point gets across. Obvious typos does bother me, but that’s what happen when you write on your phone 😭)

https://www.reddit.com/IGSRep/comments/pikmri/calvin324hks_igs_rep_page/
https://www.reddit.com/sgsflaicomments/of2wzu/flair_profile_ucalvin324hk/
Wishlist
Region: NA (Canada)
Fees on buyer if any, currency is USD unless specified
CTRL + F to find your games in terms of name

• >observer_
• 10 Second Ninja X
• 11-11 Memories Retold
• 112 Operator
• 12 is Better Than 6
• 198X
• 1993 Space Machine
• 60 Parsecs
• 7 Billion Humans
• 8 DOORS
• 8-bit Adventure Anthology: Volume I
• 9 Years of Shadows
• 911 Operator
• A Game of Thrones: The Board Game
• A Hat in Time
• A Hole New World
• A JUGGLER'S TALE
• A Long Way Down
• A PLAGUE TALE: INNOCENCE
• A Robot Named Fight!
• A Tale for Anna
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• ibb & obb Double Pack
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• Ice Age: Scrat's Nutty Adventure
• Ice Lakes
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• IN SOUND MIND
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• JUST CAUSE 4: COMPLETE EDITION
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• Kardboard Kings: Card Shop Simulator
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• Ken Follett's The Pillars of the Earth
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• Koi-Koi Japan [Hanafuda playing cards] *Koi-Koi Japan : UKIYOE tours Vol.1 DLC *Koi-Koi Japan : UKIYOE tours Vol.2 DLC *Koi-Koi Japan : UKIYOE tours Vol.3 DLC
• Konung 2
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• LAST OASIS
• Lawn Mowing Simulator
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• Lead and Gold: Gangs of the Wild West
• Learn Japanese To Survive! Hiragana Battle
• Learn Japanese To Survive! Katakana War
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• LEGION TD 2 - MULTIPLAYER TOWER DEFENSE
• LEGION TD 2 - MULTIPLAYER TOWER DEFENSE.
• Leisure Suit Larry - Wet Dreams Don't Dry
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• Middle-earth: Shadow of Mordor GOTY
• Middle-Earth: Shadow of War Definitive Edition
• MIDNIGHT PROTOCOL
• Mighty Switch Force! Collection
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• Motorcycle Mechanic Simulator 2021
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• NARUTO TO BORUTO: SHINOBI STRIKER
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• Orbital Racer
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• Orwell: Ignorance is strength
• Orwell: Keeping an Eye On You
• Out of Reach: Treasure Royale
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• Overlord: Ultimate Evil Collection
• Overpass
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• OZYMANDIAS: BRONZE AGE EMPIRE SIM
• Pac-Man Museum +
• Pan'Orama
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• PARTISANS 1941
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• Paw Paw Paw
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• Peaky Blinders: Mastermind
• PER ASPERA
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• PLANET ZOO
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• POSTAL: Brain Damaged - Connoisseur Edition
• Power Rangers: Battle for the Grid
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• Regular Human Basketball
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• REMNANT: FROM THE ASHES - COMPLETE EDITION
• Republique
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• ROGUE HEROES: RUINS OF TASOS
• ROGUE LORDS
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• SEARCH PARTY: Director's Cut
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• Serious Sam 3 Bonus Content DLC, Serious Sam 3: Jewel of the Nile, and Serious Sam 3: BFE
• SEUM speedrunners from hell
• SEUM: Speedrunners from Hell
• Severed Steel
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• SHADOWS: AWAKENING
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• Shoppe Keep 2 - Business and Agriculture RPG Simulation
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• Sid Meier's Civilization VI
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• Smoke and Sacrifice
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• Sniper Elite
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• Sniper Elite 4 Deluxe Edition
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• Songs of Conquest
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• SOULSTICE
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• Spelunx and the Caves of Mr. Seudo
• Spidersaurs
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• Spirit of the Island
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• Spring Bonus
• Spyro Reignited Trilogy
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• Star Trek Prodigy: Supernova
• STAR WARS - Knights of the Old Republic
• STAR WARS - The Force Unleashed Ultimate Sith Edition
• Star Wolves
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• STASIS: Bone Totem
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• Steel Rats™
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• STONE
• Strange Brigade
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• STRANGER
• Strategic Command: World War I
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• Strategy & Tactics: Wargame Collection
• Streamer Life Simulator
• Street Fighter 30th Anniversary Collection
• Street Fighter V
• Strider
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• Stubbs the Zombie in Rebel Without a Pulse
• Stygian: Reign of the Old Ones
• Styx: Master of Shadows
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• SuchArt
• Sudden Strike 4
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• Suite 776
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• SUNLESS BUNDLE
• Sunset Overdrive
• Super Buff HD
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• Superhot
• Surgeon Simulator 2
• Survive the Nights
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• Surviving Mars
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• Syberia 3
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• Synthwave Dream '85
• Tacoma
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• Take Off - The Flight Simulator
• Tales
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• Talos Principle (Gold)
• Tangledeep
• Tank Mechanic Simulator
• Tannenberg
• Team Sonic Racing
• TEKKEN 7
• TEMTEM
• Terminus: Zombie Survivors
• TERRAFORMERS
• Terratech Deluxe Edition
• Terror of Hemasaurus
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• The Addams Family: Mansion Mayhem
• The Adventure Pals
• The Amazing American Circus
• The Ambassador: Fractured Timelines
• The Anacrusis
• The Ascent
• The Battle of Polytopia
• The Battle of Polytopia *DLC1. Cymanti Tribe *DLC2. ∑∫ỹriȱŋ Tribe *DLC3. Aquarion Tribe *DLC4. Polaris Tribe
• The Beast inside
• The Blackout Club
• The Callisto Protocol™
• The Chess Variants Club
• The Citadel
• The Colonists
• THE DARK PICTURES ANTHOLOGY: LITTLE HOPE
• The Darkest Tales
• The Dungeon Beneath
• The Dungeon of Naheulbeuk: The Amulet of Chaos
• The Elder Scrolls Adventures: Redguard
• The Elder Scrolls III: Morrowind® Game of the Year Edition
• The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion® Game of the Year Edition
• The Elder Scrolls Online
• The Escapists 2
• THE GAME OF LIFE 2
• The Golf Club™ 2019 featuring PGA TOUR
• The haunted island, A frog detective
• The Haunted Island, a Frog Detective Game
• The Hong Kong Massacre
• The Horror Of Salazar House
• The Innsmouth Case
• The Invisible Hours
• The Jackbox Party Pack 9
• The Knight Witch
• The Last Campfire
• The LEGO Movie 2 Videogame
• The Letter - Horror Visual Novel
• The Long Dark
• The Manhole: Masterpiece Edition
• The Mortuary Assistant
• The Mummy Demastered
• The Occupation
• The Outer Worlds
• THE OUTER WORLDS: SPACER'S CHOICE EDITION
• THE PALE BEYOND
• The Quarry
• The Quarry deluxe
• The Ramp
• The Rewinder
• The Sacred Tears TRUE
• The Sexy Brutale
• The Shapeshifting Detective
• The Shrouded Isle
• The Tarnishing of Juxtia
• The Tenants
• The Uncertain - The Last Quiet Day
• The Uncertain: Last Quiet Day
• The Uncertain: Light At The End
• The USB Stick Found in the Grass
• The Walking Dead
• The Walking Dead - 400 Days
• The Walking Dead Saints and Sinners
• The Walking Dead: A New Frontier
• The Walking Dead: Final Season
• The Walking Dead: Michonne - A Telltale Miniseries
• The Walking Dead: Saints & Sinners
• The Walking Dead: Season 1
• The Walking Dead: Season Two
• The Way
• The Wild At Heart
• The Wild Eight
• The Witness
• Them and Us
• They Bleed Pixels
• Thief of Thieves
• This War of Mine
• This Way Madness Lies
• Three Kingdom: The Journey
• Time on Frog Island
• Tinkertown
• Tiny Tina’s Wonderland(EU)
• TINY TINA'S WONDERLANDS CHAOTIC GREAT EDITION
• Tiny Troopers
• Tinykin
• Tinytopia
• TIS-100
• Titan Quest
• Tokyo Xanadu eX+
• Tom Clancy's The Division™
• Tom Clancy's The Division™ - Survival!
• Tools up
• Tooth and Tail
• Torchlight
• Total Tank Simulator
• Tour de France 2020
• Tower Unite
• Trail Out
• Trailblazers
• Trailmakers
• Trailmakers Deluxe Edition
• Train Sim World 3: Standard Edition
• Train Simulator Classic
• Train Valley 1
• TRANSFORMERS: BATTLEGROUNDS
• Transport INC
• Treasure Hunter Simulator
• TRIBES OF MIDGARD
• Trine 4: The Nightmare Prince
• Trinity Fusion
• Trollhunters: Defenders of Arcadia
• Trombone Champ
• Tropico 5 - Complete Collection
• Trover Saves the Universe
• Tunche
• Turmoil
• Turok
• Turok 2: Seeds of Evil
• Twin Mirror
• Two Point Campus
• Two Point Hospital
• TYPECAST
• Tyrant's Blessing
• Ultimate Chicken Horse
• Ultimate Zombie Defense
• Ultra Space Battle Brawl
• Unavowed
• Undead Horde
• Underhero
• Unexplored 2: The Wayfarer's Legacy
• Unity of Command: Stalingrad Campaign
• Universim
• UNLOVED
• Unpacking
• Unrailed!
• Until I have you
• Unto The End
• Upside Down
• URU: Complete Chronicles
• Vagante
• Valfaris
• Valfaris: Mecha Therion
• Valkryia Chronicles 4 Complete Edition
• Valkyria Chronicles 4 Complete Edition
• Valkyria Chronicles 4: Complete Edition
• Vambrace: Cold Soul
• Vampire - The Masquerade: Shadows of New York
• Vampire Survivors
• Vane
• Vectronom
• Velocity Noodle
• Venba
• Verne: The Shape of Fantasy
• Victoria 3
• Victoria II
• Viking: Battle For Asgard
• Virgo Versus The Zodiac
• VirtuaVerse
• Visage
• Viscerafest
• VOIDIGO
• Volcanoids
• Voltage High Society
• V-Rally 4
• Wanderlust: Travel Stories (GOG)
• Wanted: Dead
• Wargroove
• Warhammer 40,000 Sanctus Reach - Complete Edition
• Warhammer 40,000: Armageddon - Imperium Complete
• Warhammer 40,000: Battlesector
• Warhammer 40,000: Gladius - Relics of War
• Warhammer 40,000: Space Wolf Special Edition
• WARHAMMER AGE OF SIGMAR: REALMS OF RUIN – ULTIMATE EDITION
• Warhammer: End Times - Vermintide
• Warhammer: Vermintide 2
• Warman
• Warstone TD
• Wasteland 3
• Wayward
• WE NEED TO GO DEEPER
• We should talk.
• We Were Here Together
• We Were Here Too
• Webbed
• Werewolf: The Apocalypse Heart of the Forest
• West of Dead
• What Lies in the Multiverse
• When Ski Lifts Go Wrong
• while True: learn()
• Whos Your daddy
• Wick
• Windward
• Witch It
• Witchy Life Story
• Wizard of Legend
• wizard of legends
• Worms Rumble
• Worms Rumble + Legends Pack
• Wrath: Aeon of Ruin
• WRC 6 FIA World Rally Championship
• WRC 7 FIA World Rally Championship
• WWE 2K Battlegrounds
• WWE 2K23
• WWZ Aftermath
• Wytchwood
• X-COM: COMPLETE PACK
• XCOM: ULTIMATE COLLECTION
• XIII - Classic
• X-Morph: Defense
• X-Morph: Defense + European Assault, Survival of the Fittest, and Last Bastion DLC
• X-Morph: Defense Complete Pack
• Yakuza Kiwami
• Yakuza: Like A Dragon
• Yumeutsutsu Re:After
• Yumeutsutsu Re:Master
• Zen Chess: Mate in One, Mate in 2 , Mate in 3 , Mate in 4 , Champion's Moves (5 games)
• Ziggurat
• Zombie Army 4
• Zombie Army Trilogy
• Zool Redimensioned
• Zwei: The Arges adventure
• Zwei: The ilvard insurrection

DLCs and Softwares:

• For The King: Lost Civilization Adventure Pack
• Train Simulator: Isle of Wight Route Add-On
• Train Simulator: Woodhead Electric Railway in Blue Route Add-On
• Train Simulator: North Somerset Railway Route Add-On
• Train Simulator: Union Pacific Heritage SD70ACes Loco Add-On
• Train Simulator: London to Brighton Route Add-On
• BR Class 170 'Turbostar' DMU Add-On
• DB BR 648 Loco Add-On
• Europa Universalis IV: Wealth of Nations
• Expansion - Europa Universalis IV: Conquest of Paradise
• Expansion - Europa Universalis IV: Res Publica
• Grand Central Class 180 'Adelante' DMU Add-On
• Peninsula Corridor: San Francisco - Gilroy Route Add-On
• SONIC ADVENTURE 2: BATTLE
• Small World - A Spider's Web
• Small World - Cursed
• Small World - Royal Bonus
• The Dungeon Of Naheulbeuk: The Amulet Of Chaos - Goodies Pack
• The Dungeon Of Naheulbeuk: The Amulet Of Chaos - OST
• Thompson Class B1 Loco Add-On
• Total War: Shogun 2 - Rise of the Samurai
• Train Sim World® 3: Birmingham Cross-city line
• Train Sim World®: BR Class 20 'Chopper' Loco
• Train Sim World®: Brighton Main Line: London Victoria - Brighton
• Train Sim World®: Caltrain MP36PH-3C 'Baby Bullet'
• Train Sim World®: Cathcart Circle Line: Glasgow - Newton & Neilston
• Train Sim World®: Clinchfield Railroad: Elkhorn - Dante
• Train Sim World®: Great Western Express
• Train Sim World®: Hauptstrecke Hamburg - Lubeck
• Train Sim World®: LIRR M3 EMU
• Train Sim World®: Long Island Rail Road: New York - Hicksville
• Train Sim World®: Nahverkehr Dresden - Riesa
• Train Sim World®: Northern Trans-Pennine: Manchester - Leeds
• Train Sim World®: Peninsula Corridor: San Francisco - San Jose
• Train Sim World®: Rhein-Ruhr Osten: Wuppertal - Hagen
• Train Sim World®: Tees Valley Line: Darlington - Saltburn-by-the-sea
• Worms Rumble - Armageddon Weapon Skin Pack
• Worms Rumble - Captain & Shark Double Pack
• Worms Rumble - Legends Pack
• Worms Rumble - New Challengers Pack
• Ashampoo Photo Optimizer 7
• Dagon: by H. P. Lovecraft - The Eldritch Box DLC
• Duke Nukem Forever Hail to the Icons
• Duke Nukem Forever The Doctor Who Cloned Me
• GRIP: Combat Racing - Cygon Garage Kit
• GRIP: Combat Racing - Nyvoss Garage Kit
• GRIP: Combat Racing - Terra Garage Kit
• GRIP: Combat Racing - Vintek Garage Kit
• GameGuru
• GameMaker Studio 2 Creator 12 Months
• Intro to Game Development with Unity
• Music Maker EDM Edition
• Neverwinter Nights: Darkness Over Daggerford
• Neverwinter Nights: Enhanced Edition Dark Dreams of Furiae
• Neverwinter Nights: Enhanced Edition Tyrants of the Moonsea
• Neverwinter Nights: Enhanced Edition
• Neverwinter Nights: Infinite Dungeons
• Neverwinter Nights: Pirates of the Sword Coast
• Neverwinter Nights: Wyvern Crown of Cormyr
• PDF-Suite 1 Year License
• Pathfinder Second Edition Core Rulebook and Starfinder Core Rulebook
• RPG Maker VX
• WWE 2K BATTLEGROUNDS - Ultimate Brawlers Pass
• We Are Alright
• The Outer Worlds Expansion Pass
• A Hat in Time - Seal the Deal DLC
• City Skylines:mass transit
• A Game Of Thrones - A Dance With Dragons
• A Game Of Thrones - A Feast For Crows
• Blood Rage: Digital Edition - Gods of Asgard
• Blood Rage: Digital Edition - Mythical Monsters
• Blood Rage: Digital Edition - Mystics of Midgard
• Carcassonne - The Princess and The Dragon DLC
• Carcassonne - Traders & Builders DLC
• Carcassonne - Winter & Gingerbread Man DLC
• Carcassonne - Inns & Cathedrals
• Carcassonne - The River
• Splendor: The Trading Posts DLC
• Splendor: The Strongholds DLC
• Splendor: The Cities DLC
• Small World - Be Not Afraid... DLC
• Small World - Grand Dames DLC
• Small World - Cursed!
• Sands of Salzaar - The Ember Saga
• Sands of Salzaar - The Tournament
• Monster Train: The Last Divinity DLC
• WARSAW