Fat hairstyles

Male Grooming - A Man's Guide To Looking Good

2010.10.04 12:57 zombiecommand Male Grooming - A Man's Guide To Looking Good

This is a general men's grooming tips/advice and comments sub.
[link]

2024.05.12 05:45 Gemman_Aster Atomic Shop items you can request through Bethesda Support

As always I shall try to keep this list updated at least once every four weeks until the post is again automatically locked after six months, preventing further edits.
In order to request any of these items you must go to the appropriate link for the Xbox Series X/S, Windows, PS5 or Steam. If you are playing on an older system it is simple to reach its page from one of these direct links. I am sure it goes without saying your player account must have sufficient Atoms available to pay for the item/s you choose. As part of the process Bethesda Support will respond to your request by ticket and email with the total cost of whatever you order.
This page from the Wikia entry for Fallout76 may help with working out some of the bundles' contents. I cannot swear for the accuracy of the data however as with all wikis it is community-created support material.
I have had quite a few comments asking how long you can expect to wait. The answer is that it varies. In my own experience I have had items redeemed for my character within two hours. I have also had to wait for more than a month. Much of the process seems to be automated now and I would say the average time these days seems between two to four days.
This list is up-to-date as of 12.05.2024:
  1. Ace Full Assault Power Armor Paint
  2. Alien Plushie
  3. Alien Technology Bundle
  4. Aluminum Trees
  5. Amateur Inventor's Laser Gun Paint
  6. American Flag Set
  7. Angry Fist Shake
  8. Animatronic Cat
  9. Appalachian Thunder Pipe Gatling Gun Paint
  10. Armored Raider Skull Gas Mask
  11. Armory Weapon Paint Bundle
  12. Army Issue Plasma Caster Paint
  13. Astroturf
  14. Atomic Blast Lamp
  15. Barbed Chained Tire Set
  16. Beer Barrel Fridge
  17. Big Game Hunter
  18. Big Red Button Icon
  19. Black Bear Mascot
  20. Black Cat Bundle
  21. Black Knight Paint
  22. Black Pip-Boy Paint
  23. Black Rider Power Armor
  24. Blood Eagle Bow Skin
  25. Blood Eagle Bundle
  26. Blood Eagle Power Armor Paint
  27. Blood Eagle Totem
  28. Bloody Arktos Refrigerator
  29. Bombs Away Mobile
  30. Bone and Felt Antler Headband Set
  31. Bone Gas Mask
  32. Bonnet
  33. BOS Backpack
  34. BOS Scouting Tower
  35. Bottle Icon
  36. Boxing Ring
  37. Brambles
  38. Brew-haha Bundle
  39. Brotherhood Armory
  40. Brotherhood Bundle
  41. Brotherhood High Tech Stash
  42. Brotherhood of Steel Digital Deluxe Bundle
  43. Bubble Blower Machine
  44. Bucking Brahmin Bundle
  45. Bucking Brahmin Mask
  46. Bucking Brahmin Ride
  47. Bunker Bundle
  48. Burgundy Modular Sofa Set
  49. C.A.M.P. Structure Starter Bundle
  50. Cactus Set
  51. Camden Park Mega Bundle
  52. Camo Secret Service Armor Paint
  53. Camo Secret Service Underarmor
  54. Camo Utility Cap
  55. Cappy's Nuka-Cola Train Bundle
  56. Captain Cosmos Outfit
  57. Captain Cosmos Power Armor
  58. Captain Cosmos Power Armor Bundle
  59. Caravan Trader Outfit
  60. Carnivorous Plant
  61. Cash Register Vending Machine
  62. Castle Bed
  63. Cat Topiary
  64. Cement Tire Set
  65. Chalk Letter Kit
  66. Charleston Fire Station
  67. Charleston Fire Station Bundle
  68. Christmas Sitting Room Bundle
  69. Cinder Blocks Wallpaper
  70. Clandestine Gauss Weapons Bundle
  71. Clandestine Service Gauss Shotgun Paint
  72. Clandestine Service Minigun Paint
  73. Classic Jukebox
  74. Classic Performance Stage
  75. Classic Western Bundle
  76. Classical Column
  77. Classy Girl Player Icon
  78. Clean Bathroom Bundle
  79. Clean Billboard
  80. Clean Boxing Ring
  81. Clean Chally Outfit
  82. Clean Mannequin Set
  83. Clean Shower
  84. Clean Sink
  85. Clean Small Generator
  86. Clean Toilet
  87. Clean Water Purifier
  88. Clean White Picket Fences
  89. Coal Duster Excavator Power Armor Paint
  90. Coffin Backpack
  91. Coffin Decoration
  92. Coffin Stash Box
  93. Collectron Bundle
  94. Colored Oval Lights
  95. Comforts of Home Bundle
  96. Comin' to Town Bundle
  97. Communal Firepit
  98. Communist Bunker
  99. Communist Collectron Station
  100. Communist Fence
  101. Communist Handmade Gun Skin
  102. Communist Militant Outfit
  103. Communist Military Safe Stash Box
  104. Communist Officer's Gas Mask
  105. Communist Salute Emote
  106. Communist Spy Bundle
  107. Communist Spy Outfit
  108. Contemporary C.A.M.P. Bundle
  109. Cowboy Hat
  110. Cowhide Outfit
  111. Creepy Mothman Player Icon
  112. Crypt Crook Backpack
  113. Cuddles Outfit
  114. Cultist Dungeon Bundle
  115. Dark Harlequin Face Paint
  116. Dark Matter Combat Rifle Paint
  117. Dark Wood Laminate
  118. Dart Board
  119. Dead Man's Hand Posters
  120. Death Awaits Skull Totem
  121. Death Ray Bug Zapper
  122. Decorative Room Divider
  123. Deep Cave Bundle
  124. Deep Cave Hunter Outfit
  125. Diamond Eyes Face Paint
  126. Down Home Comfort Bundle
  127. Down Home Dweller Bundle
  128. Down Home Wallpaper Set
  129. Duster
  130. Easter Bundle
  131. Easter Rabbit Plushie
  132. Electro 2000 Fireplace
  133. Elm Tree Set
  134. Encampment Bridge
  135. Encampment Fences
  136. Encampment Fortress Bundle
  137. Enclave Backpack
  138. Enclave Bundle
  139. Enclave C.A.M.P. Bundle
  140. Enclave Power Armor Paint
  141. Enclave Turret Set
  142. Equalizer Power Armor Paint
  143. Eye Patch Bundle
  144. F.E.T.C.H. Collectron Station
  145. Fancy Thanksgiving Display Case
  146. Farm Life C.A.M.P. Bundle
  147. Fasnacht Bundle
  148. Fasnacht C.A.M.P. Bundle
  149. Fasnacht Collectron Station
  150. Fasnacht Mask Bundle
  151. Fasnacht Mask Display
  152. Fasnacht Mystical Mask Bundle
  153. Fat Man Aviator Paint
  154. Feral Ghoul Bundle
  155. Feral Ghoul Costume
  156. Fez
  157. Fire Chief Bundle
  158. Fire Hazard Backpack
  159. Firewatch Tower
  160. Firing Range Posters
  161. Fish Lamp
  162. Floor Walker Outfit
  163. Flower Cart
  164. Fluorescent Light Set
  165. Flyboy Bundle
  166. Flyboy Icon
  167. Flyboy Outfit
  168. Four Poster Bed
  169. Free States Scout Armor Paint
  170. Freedom Stars Neon Sign
  171. Freight Wagon
  172. Fringed Dress
  173. Future-Tec Bundle
  174. Gag Glasses Bundle
  175. Gala Dress
  176. Gala Tuxedo
  177. Gatling Plasma Copperhead Paint
  178. Ghillie Netting Bundle
  179. Ghoul Icon
  180. Giant Neon Letters
  181. Gladiator Outfit
  182. Glow-in-the-Dark Map
  183. Gold 50 Cal Machine Gun Paint
  184. Gold Mr. Fuzzy Kiddie Ride
  185. Gold Mr. Rocket Kiddie Ride
  186. Golden Years Set
  187. Good Fortunes Bundle
  188. Grafton Monster Mascot Outfit
  189. Grahm Plushie
  190. Grahm's Green Bundle
  191. Green Thumb Bundle
  192. Greenhouse Kit
  193. Greenhouse Kit Bundle
  194. Grognak Battlecry
  195. Grognak Hero Bundle
  196. Grognak Plushie
  197. Gurney Bed Set
  198. H.A.R.E. Power Armor Skin
  199. Halberd
  200. Halloween C.A.M.P. Bundle
  201. Halo and Horns Set
  202. Hammock
  203. Hanging Planters
  204. Haunted House C.A.M.P. Bundle
  205. Haunted House Floor
  206. Haunted House Porch Set
  207. Haunted House Staircase
  208. Hay Bales
  209. Heart Balloons
  210. Hellcat Outfit Bundle
  211. Hellfire Regulator Power Armor Paint
  212. Hero Statue Set
  213. High-Powered Weapon Racks
  214. High-Tech Stash
  215. Holiday Nuclear Tree
  216. Holiday Tree
  217. Holidays Emote Bundle
  218. Hot Tub
  219. Hubris Comics Magazine Rack
  220. Hubris Comics Wallpaper
  221. Hunting Lodge Bundle
  222. I Survived!
  223. Imposter Assaultron Head
  224. Inflatable Snowman
  225. Inner Tube Deck Chair
  226. Jail Walls
  227. Junk Fences
  228. Junkyard C.A.M.P. Bundle
  229. Junkyard Dog Collectron Station
  230. Junkyard Power Armor Paint
  231. Kill, Laugh, Love Neon Sign
  232. Landscape Painting
  233. Large Nuka-Cola Bottle
  234. Large Succulent Set
  235. Laser Grid Door
  236. Laundered Blue Dress
  237. Laundered Cream Dress
  238. Laundered Rose Dress
  239. Leper'chaun Outfit
  240. Leprechaun Bundle
  241. Leprechaun Outfit
  242. Liberator Bot Lamp
  243. Liberty Prime Power Armor Skin Set
  244. Light Bulb Letters Set
  245. Light Wood Laminate
  246. Lion Dancer Outfit
  247. Log Cabin Kit
  248. Log Cabin Porch Set
  249. Lover Girl Icon
  250. Lucille's Lullaby
  251. Lumberjack Bundle
  252. Lumberjack Outfit
  253. Makeshift Mega Mansion
  254. Mascot Head
  255. Matte Black Equalizer Power Armor Paint
  256. Matte Black Handmade Paint
  257. Mausoleum Bundle
  258. Meat Cooler Backpack
  259. Medical Scrubs
  260. Medical Smile Mask
  261. Medieval C.A.M.P. Bundle
  262. Megaton Hairstyle
  263. Military Beret Bundle
  264. Mini Deathclaw Statue
  265. Mini Nuke Planter
  266. Mini Power Armor Statue
  267. Minigun Chrome Paint
  268. Missile Silo Shelter
  269. Missile Silo Shelter Bundle
  270. Mob Boss Bundle
  271. Modern Ceiling Fan
  272. Modern Fireplace
  273. Modular Mainframe Set
  274. Mole Rat Generator Suite
  275. Mole Rat Icon
  276. Mole Rats Painting
  277. Monocle
  278. Montani Semper Liberi
  279. Moonshine Mama Mask
  280. Mosaic Tiles
  281. Mothman Bed
  282. Mothman Cultist C.A.M.P. Bundle
  283. Mothman Cultist Goat Totem
  284. Mothman Cultist Icon
  285. Mothman Cultist Torches
  286. Mothman Curtain Door
  287. Mothman Frame
  288. Mothman Furniture Set
  289. Mothman Gas Mask
  290. Mothman Hunter Bundle
  291. Mothman Hunter Outfit
  292. Mothman Jetpack
  293. Mothman Neon Billboards
  294. Mothman Outfit Bundle
  295. Mothman Pip-Boy Paint
  296. Mothman Plushie Backpack
  297. Mothman Poster
  298. Mothman Power Armor Paints and Lamp
  299. Mothman Sleeping Bag
  300. Mothman Statue
  301. Mothman Traveler Bundle
  302. Mothman Wallpaper Bundle
  303. Mothman Worship Emote
  304. Mountaineer Outfit
  305. Mounted Fish Set
  306. Mounted Radhog Head
  307. Movie Poster Set
  308. Mr. Claus Player Icon
  309. Mr. Claus' Suit
  310. Mr. Fuzzy Backpack
  311. Mr. Fuzzy Balloon Animal
  312. Mr. Fuzzy Cowboy Plushie
  313. Mr. Fuzzy Halloween Plushie
  314. Mr. Fuzzy Kiddie Ride
  315. Mr. Fuzzy New Year's Plushie
  316. Mr. Fuzzy Player Icon
  317. Mr. Fuzzy Power Armor Helmet
  318. Mr. Fuzzy Tinker's Workbench
  319. Mr. Fuzzy Valentine's Day Plushie
  320. Mr. Pebbles Lamp
  321. Mr. Pebbles Plushie
  322. Mr. Pebbles Space Explorer Backpack
  323. Mr. Rocket Kiddie Ride
  324. Mrs. Claus' Dress
  325. Mrs. Claus Player Icon
  326. Mudflap Hat Set
  327. Mummy Dearest Icon
  328. Mushroom Lamp
  329. Mutant Dummy
  330. Nautical Anchor Tattoo
  331. Neighborhood Square Shelter
  332. Neon Palm Reader Sign
  333. Neon Sign Set
  334. New Year's Banner
  335. New Year's Eve Bundle
  336. New Year's Icon
  337. New Year's Tuxedos Bundle
  338. Night Eyes Icon
  339. Night Terror Gauss Rifle Paint
  340. No Thank You Emote
  341. No Way Emote
  342. Northern Lights Paint T-51 Power Armor Paint
  343. Nuclear Winter Poster Set
  344. Nuka-Cola Bottle Display Rack
  345. Nuka-Cola Bundle
  346. Nuka-Cola Cask Stool
  347. Nuka-Cola Cooler
  348. Nuka-Cola Cooler Backpack
  349. Nuka-Cola Curtain Door
  350. Nuka-Cola Dark Power Armor Paints
  351. Nuka-Cola Delivery Bundle
  352. Nuka-Cola Jumpsuit Set
  353. Nuka-Cola Neon Sign
  354. Nuka-Cola Projection Lamp
  355. Nuka-Cola Quantum Bottle Lamp
  356. Nuka-Cola Quantum Bundle
  357. Nuka-Cola Quantum Sign
  358. Nuka-Cola Secret Door Bundle
  359. Nuka-Cola Stained Glass Lamps
  360. Nuka-Cola Vending Machine
  361. Nuka-Cola Wallpaper Set
  362. Nuka-Girl Rocketsuit
  363. Old Man Summer Mask
  364. Old Possum Bar Sign
  365. Old West Bar Set
  366. Ole Timey Diner Bundle
  367. Outhouse
  368. Pack Rat Backpack
  369. Pajamas
  370. Pale Rider Photoframe
  371. Pale Rider Power Armor
  372. Pallet Wood Floor
  373. Pallet Wood Wallpaper
  374. Parachute Backpack
  375. Park Ranger Bundle
  376. Park Ranger Power Armor Skin
  377. Patriotic The Fixer Paint
  378. Pickaxe Pilsner Bar Sign
  379. Pink Neon Heart Sign
  380. Pipe Organ
  381. Pitt Scaffold Kit
  382. Plague Doctor Mask
  383. Plain Curtain Door
  384. Plasma Ball Set
  385. Plotting Table
  386. Plushie C.A.M.P. Bundle
  387. Poodle Skirt
  388. Portrait Secret Door
  389. Potted Succulents
  390. Pristine Moe the Mole Outfit
  391. Pumpkin Vault Girl Head
  392. Raider Collectron Station
  393. Raider Culinarian Outfit
  394. Raider Pathfinder Outfit
  395. Raider Salute
  396. Raider Skinner Outfit
  397. Raider Skull Gas Mask
  398. Raider Vending Machine
  399. Raider Warlord Outfit
  400. Raider Waster Bundle
  401. Rain Water Collector
  402. Raven Perch
  403. Red Enamel Stove
  404. Red Menace Backpack
  405. Red Menace Bundle
  406. Red Modular Mainframe
  407. Red Rocket Diner Set
  408. Red Rocket Door
  409. Red Rocket Garage
  410. Red Rocket Mega Furniture Bundle
  411. Red Rocket Power Connectors
  412. Red Rocket Ranger Power Armor Bundle
  413. Red Rocket Stash Box
  414. Red Scare Power Armor Skin
  415. Red Shift Backpack
  416. Red Shift Floor
  417. Red Shift Power Armor Skin
  418. Responder Power Armor Paint
  419. Responders Bundle
  420. Rest in Pieces C.A.M.P. Bundle
  421. Revolutionary Bundle
  422. Revolutionary Outfit
  423. Roadtripper Outfit
  424. Robber Halloween Bundle
  425. RobCo Snow Machine
  426. Robot Steins Display Case
  427. Rocket Ceiling Fan
  428. Round Deck Table
  429. RR Ranger Power Armor Paint
  430. Rusted Chain link Fence
  431. Rusted Junkyard Power Armor Paint
  432. Rustic Fountain
  433. Rustic Greenhouse Bundle
  434. Rustic Greenhouse Kit
  435. Rustic Room Divider
  436. Rustic Sink
  437. Rusty Raider Skull Gas Mask
  438. Samurai Outfit
  439. Santa Bag Backpack
  440. Santa Statue
  441. Santa's Slay Power Armor Bundle
  442. Santatron Collectron Station
  443. Satellite Dish
  444. Scavenger Collectron Station
  445. Screaming Eagle Handmade Gun Skin
  446. Screaming Eagle Wood Skin
  447. Secret Service Backpack
  448. Secret Service Bobblehead Stand
  449. Secret Service Camo Bundle
  450. Secret Stash Bookcase
  451. Seedy Shed
  452. Sequin Dress
  453. Shadow Prime Power Armor Skin
  454. Share the Love Bundle
  455. Sheepsquatch Plushie
  456. Shelter Catwalk Bundle
  457. Shelters Mainframe Bundle
  458. Shogatsu Bundle
  459. Silver Shroud Costume
  460. Silver Shroud Plushie
  461. Six Pack Loot Bag
  462. Skull Lord War Suit
  463. Skull Mask
  464. Skull Totem Set
  465. Slocum's Joe C.A.M.P. Bundle
  466. Slocum's Joe Coffee Machine
  467. Snow Globe Lamp
  468. Snowglobe
  469. Solid Color Wallpaper Set
  470. Space Suit
  471. Spiked Barricade
  472. Spikehawk Hairstyle
  473. Spring Bundle
  474. Square Rug Bundle
  475. Stainless Steel Refrigerator
  476. Stalker Outfit
  477. Standing Lamp
  478. Stanley
  479. Stocking Set
  480. Street Lamps
  481. Stuffed Radstag
  482. Summer Shorts
  483. Sun Hat
  484. Super Angry
  485. Survivalist Outfit
  486. Thanksgiving Bundle
  487. Thanksgiving Kitchen Bundle
  488. The Nighthawk Skin
  489. The Quack Outfit
  490. Theremin
  491. Top Secret Door
  492. Trailblazer Bundle
  493. Turkey Mascot Outfit
  494. Untarnished Alien Blaster Paint
  495. Valentine's Backpack
  496. Vampire Costume
  497. Vault Boy/Girl Power Armor Helmet Set
  498. Vault Girl Mascot Head
  499. Vault Girl Scribble Head
  500. Vault-Tec Grandfather Clock
  501. Vault-Tec Laser Gun Paint
  502. Vault-Tec Locker Bay
  503. Vault-Tec Refrigerator
  504. Vault-Tec Spa
  505. Vault-Tec Starter Bundle
  506. Vendor Sign Set
  507. Vintage Linen Coat
  508. Wall Weapon Racks
  509. War Rider Power Armor
  510. Warband Face Paint
  511. Waste Barrel Planter
  512. Wasteland Trapper Outfit
  513. Wasteland Werewolf Outfit
  514. Watchpost
  515. Waterbed
  516. Wavy Willard's Letters
  517. Wavy Willard's Park Bundle
  518. Wavy Willard's Swimsuit Bundle
  519. Wavy Willard's Wipeout Slide Bundle
  520. Welcome Friends Sign
  521. Welcome Home Neon Sign
  522. Welcome to Helvetia Bundle
  523. West Virginia Table Set
  524. Western Bar Bundle
  525. White Wallpaper
  526. Whitesprings C.A.M.P. Bundle
  527. Whitesprings Wallpaper Set
  528. Wildman Rags
  529. Wildwood Den Bundle
  530. Wildwood Tavern
  531. Wildwood Tavern Bundle
  532. Willard Plushie
  533. Wolf Howl Emote
  534. Worm Farm
  535. Wrought Iron Fence
  536. Zoltan Fortune Teller
submitted by Gemman_Aster to fo76 [link] [comments]

2024.05.11 06:31 sharkzpant Pre-T guys: Passing with long hair is not impossible

Hi. I’ve been out to myself as trans since i was around 12 (so 9 ish years) and have never been fully accepted by family (sad i know but you learn to deal with it), and even though im almost 21, im still in college and live with my folks so T wont happen anytime soon (especially because im planning on applying to grad school when i graduate). Despite this, I have had (almost) every hairstyle under the sun. Short, shaved in the back, mullet, you name it. Currently, I have long hair. It goes about halfway down my back when straightened (i have naturally curly hair, about 2C when i take care of it) and i think it’s what has helped me pass the most! I by no means am “naturally masculine” with a sharp jawine and stuff (im fat and have quite a round face), have a very feminine voice (probably my biggest insecurity), and only have “”facial hair”” thanks to a daily routine of minoxidil and a weekly hit with beard dye (im actually proud of how its looking rn) so its not like i have any advantages or anything. It’s all about playing around with things. Not just your hair, but your clothes, accessories, etc. Ive even passed on days i didnt try at all to! Figuring out what type of glasses (if you wear them) make your face look most masculine. this is gonna sound strange but ive noticed certain colors help me pass more. its all about practice and seeing what works. if youre in a situation like me where youve been wanting to transition for a long time and T just isnt in sight for you but you still wanna have long hair cause you really like how it looks on you, its all about playing your cards right. and of course, a good network of supportive people in your life wherever you can find them also helps. sorry this is a bit long-winded, im just tired of seeing people always tell pre-t (or even on T) trans men they can never pass with long hair when that simply isnt the case for everyone.
submitted by sharkzpant to ftm [link] [comments]

2024.05.11 03:06 Plane-Ice-1828 Everything I did to glow up in 2 years

Warning this will be a long post, it has everything I've learnt in the past couple of years from hair growth, to styling, to weightloss, to nervous system regulation and more.
I'm in my early 30s, I have 3B hair, tall, two years ago I was obese, prediabetic, I had anxiety problems, now I'm just a tall [seemingly ;) ] effortlessly pretty black girl and I want all my beauties on here to have my beauty secrets.
Topics discussed:

Hair

I have PCOS so it affects my hair growth and causes hirsutism, basically male patterened facial hair and male patterned baldness.
Hair Growth: Here is the true secret sauce to hair growth, stimulating your scalp. I do daily scalp massages with a bamboo brush (even the bristles are made of rounded bamboo) very gentle. This is the one I use: Golab Beauty I do short strokes which prevents any tangles. Morning and Night. I then go in with a scalp serum, I use The Oui scalp serum but it costs a pretty penny. In the first yearish I used (The 'Ordinary' Haircare Growth Set Multi-Peptide Serum For Hair Density) which worked wonders and was cost effective. At nights I seal with any scalp oil that has rosemary oil. Sadly Mielle's formula no longer works for me, but As I Am rosemary oil has been working, I also like the Camille Rose Rosemary Oil Strengthening Hair and Scalp Drops. For Washing my hair I suffer from sebaceous dermatitis which causes scaliness. Paradoxically my scalp is so oily which is what triggers the ezcema and develops the dry patches. Reversing my PCOS symptoms fixed this but what also helped was the Nizoral shampoo with 1% Ketoconazole. It's harsh so I do it once to twice a month at most and I always follow up with a moisturizing shampoo, and of course finish with a wash out conditioner & leave in conditioner.
Hair Retention: This is the info we all know about preventing breakage but I'll include just in case. Hair growth happens in the scalp like said before but to retain that growth it's important to wear protective hairstyles (especially while asleep), a silk/satin bonnet or wrap, silk/satin pillowcase, do not let your hair air dry at night. There is debate about this but I've seen hair specialists and scientists say our hair is especially fragile when wet (especially curly/kinky hair). Therefore, we are much more prone to snags and breakage while our hair is wet. So going to bed make sure your hair is dried. If you're air drying your hair during the day try not to touch it too much - as little manipulation as possible. Personally choose to diffuse/blow dry my hair and this has prevented most of the breakage I was previously experiencing. Lastly, moisturize and oil your ends. I won't pretend like I know which order is best or even if it's important but I've found that using hair moisturizediluted leave in conditioner then hair oil works best for me.
Hirsutism/Facial Hair: Spearmint essential oil. I add 1-2 drops of the oil to my moisturizer each time I put on my moisturizer and it helped A LOT with reducing my facial hair. I also drink a lot of spearmint tea. Spearmint specifically has been proven to lower androgen/testosterone levels which is why it helps. I also took supplements which I'll include at the end because they served multiple purposes. Be sure not to add the oil to the entire bottle because that will ruin your moisturizer's formula. Just add the drops in your palm/finger tips and mix in your face cream each time you moisturize your jawline, chin, underneck. Also, do this after moisturizing the upper part of your face without the oil because it's harsh and the scent can be irritating to your eye area.
Body hair: Personally I sugar wax my arms and legs, the hair has grown back so thin now. I make it myself and follow tutorials from abetweene on youtube.
Hair colouHairstyle: This will depend on your face shape and color season. I'm a dark winter colour season and I have a heart face shape. I used the Dressika app to discover my color season before I could afford to get myself professionally assessed and I got the same results. Just be sure to use natural lighting, like by a window. Once you have your colour season you can choose hair colours that work best for you (although natural almost always works best). For my hairstyle I try to choose styles that compliment my heart shaped face. I used the youtube channel Dear Peachie to help me with figuring this out.

Style

I think most of us know about Kibbe and colour seasons. This was how I upgraded my wardrobe. I'm a soft dramatic so I wear things that work for my tall height and accentuate my waist.
This was the game changer with colour seasons. Most of us know about our true seasons, but it can get restrictive. Sister seasons and colour dissonance is also helpful to know.
My colour season is dark winter, so my sister seasons would be dark autumn and true winter. Thid gives me more wiggle room to style myself.
Dissonance are colours that are outside your true season and your sister seasons, you sprinke this in to add interest. Think of an outfit that is extremely matchy and cohesive but has that one accessory or item that stands out and adds interest. It's really fun in art and in fashion.
For my shoes I've started wearing dancing heels which help my flat feet lol and look stylish. Heel insoles help too, as well as the product Shoe Gummi. I still can't last more than 2, 3 hours at most but it's definitely bearable compared to before.
Matching pajamas and loungewear. You just feel so luxurious dressing up at home and they can (should) be comfy :)
Accessories:

Makeup

I used the youtube channel Dear Peachie to help me with finding eye looks, brows, blush placement for my face shape
I have a low visual weight face and I am a romantic ingenue, because of this I go for more subtle looks that emphasis two facial features maximum at a time (eyes, lips, cheeks).
Don't get me wrong I love glam bold makeup but soft and subtle makes me glow, I turn heads when my makeup is done like this.

Teeth

Skin

Skincare. This was something that took me a while to work on because of my PCOS, age, weight and etc.
Facial Care: The basics includes chemical exfoliation, retinol, moisturizerecover. I cycle my nightly skincare routine with this in mind and always keep the same morning routine. Mornings look like this (Jojoba oil to help while I use my gua sha, Water based cleanser, eye cream, vitamin c/peptide serum, moisturizer with a drop or two of glycerin, spearmint oil mixed with face cream on the jawline & neck area, finish with sunscreen).
My nights I alternate these routines in this order
Night 1 - Chemical Exfoliation (Oil cleanser to help while I use my gua sha, Water based cleanser, eye cream, glycolic/lactic acid, moisturizer with a drop or two of glycerin, spearmint oil mixed with face cream on the jawline & neck area, castor oil on lashes and brows)
Night 2 - Retinol (Oil cleanser to help while I use my gua sha, Water based cleanser, eye cream, retinol, moisturizer, spearmint oil mixed with face cream on the jawline & neck area, castor oil on lashes and brows)
Night 3 - MoisturizeRecovery (Oil cleanser to help while I use my gua sha, Water based cleanser, eye cream, retinol, moisturizer with a drop or two of glycerin, rosehip oil as sealant on entire face, spearmint oil mixed with face cream on the jawline & neck area, castor oil on lashes and brows)
Repeat Night 1 - 3 (sometimes I need more days to recover if my skin is sensitive or acting up, do what works for you personally)
Other things that I've done/used to help: red light therapy (helps with both hair growth, so I use it on my scalp, and with stretch marks so I use it on my face and body), Microcurrent device (helps with collagen production and stretchmarks) - I use the brand NuFace & NuBody, Volufiline (a skin serum I mix with eye cream that helps with hollowness under the eyes, Kigelia Africana Skin Cream (I use the brand Maelys B-Perky which contains this ingredient and helped to tighten my chest area and my loose skin on the area), face yoga and myo fascia face massage, these help with the tautness of my face (basically everything else helps with wrinkles, these exercises and the microcurrent helps and prevents, sagging especially jowls). I follow tutorials I search for from youtube.
Body Care: Similar to facial care body care includes exfoliation, retinol, moisturizerecover
Night 1 - Physical Exfoliation (Dry brush/Body Scrub, Hydrating lotion with a few drops of glycerin, rosehip oil as sealant on entire body)
Night 2 - Retinol (Jojoba oil to help while I use my gua sha, retinol body wash, retinol body lotion)
Night 3 - MoisturizeRecovery (Jojoba oil to help while I use my gua sha, Hydrating lotion with a few drops of glycerin, rosehip oil as sealant on entire body)
Again, repeat Night 1 - 3 use more days for recovery if needed
Stretch marks/loose skin: Whether due to weight gain, pregnancy, etc. we can't ever truly get rid of loose skin or stretch marks but moisturizing the skin and derma rolling can help with the appearance. Especially derma rolling. Do NOT derma roll while pregnant but you can do so after when you’ve recovered and talk to your doctor (if you've had a c section you have to wait before derma rolling). I used this video as motivation https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ChG8aSvEU6A
For the body I never went beyond 1.5mm it worked for my deepest stretch marks. If this is too aggressive 1.0mm still works just as well. Make sure you use 70% alcohol as this is what experts say is better at disinfecting. It has more water, which helps it to dissolve more slowly, penetrate cells, and kill bacteria. The disinfecting power of rubbing alcohol drops at concentrations higher than 80%-85%. Make sure you disinfect the derma roller before and after use, and make sure you disinfect your area of contact before rolling as well. Do not do heavy workouts workout or sweat inducing activities for at least 3 days after and avoid harsh products.
I started derma rolling while working on losing weight (at the beginning of my journey while still obese) and continued a year after losing 130lbs. Derma rolling works by causing micro tears, the skin heals the area and in the process of doing so develops more collagen - leading to thicker skin, lighter stretch marks and tighter skin. Since I did this before losing the weight it helped my skin adapt a lot. I won't pretend like I have 0 loose skin or stretch marks but it's barely visible. Someone has to be intimately close to notice. Obviously genetics, how slowly you lose the weight, diet, and moisturizing the skin helps but my PCOS contributed to low collagen (thin skin) and so the derma rolling really helped.

Weight loss vs Fat loss

Tons of info here but I promise if you read through it helps to know this stuff.
Weightloss comes down to calories in versus calories out. I know that's rudely simpliflied and not that easy, but it truly is the answer to weightloss (which may be fat, water, or muscle). This is why people can eat barely nothing, lose weight but their shape stays the same (basically skinny fat). It's also why fasting or going low carb works so fast (water weight is the first to go).
Fatloss on the other hand is more complicated. This involves our TDEE (Total Daily Energy Expenditure).
TDEE includes: Resting/Basal Metabolic Rate (BMR), Metabolic Equivalent of Task or Exercise activity thermogenesis (EAT), Non-exercise activity thermogenesis (NEAT), Thermic Effect of Food (TEF), and Adaptive Thermogenesis (AT).
BMR (~70% daily energy) the energy taken to exist, so tasks like breathing. Your sex, body composition (muscle to fat ratio), age, and genetics play a role in this EAT (~5% daily energy) the energy taken for exercise weight lifting, swimming, high intensity walks, etc. NEAT (~15% daily energy) the energy taken for non exercise movements like walking, fidgeting, showering, standing, etc TEF (~10% daily energy depending on the macronutrients of your meal) the energy taken to digest, protein has the highest TEF of all the macronutrients, Carbs have a TEF of around 5-10%, while Fats have the lowest TEF, around 0-3%.
Adaptive Thermogenesis (AT) is the changes in energy expenditure (energy used) that occur in response to changes in energy balance. For example when you eat more food than you need, your body may increase energy expenditure to prevent weight gain eg. move more, eat less the next day, etc.. On the other hand, when you eat less food than you need, your body may decrease energy expenditure to conserve energy and prevent weight loss eg. less movement, eat more the next day.
Other things that affect AT include diet composition (eg high/low protein, high/low carb, calorie dense foods, etc), physical activity (eg. weights vs. cardio), and environmental factors such as temperature and altitude.
Things that influence AT can make weight management challenging, as it can lead to plateaus or rebounds in weight loss efforts. This is why lack of sleep, hormonal issues, aging, etc. makes weightloss harder.
Here is a clearer example of this
Things that affect calories in:
Things that affect calories out:

Healthy Fat loss

So to lose fat in a healthy way you need to:
  1. Get enough sleep (8-9 hours per night)
  2. Manage your stress levels/nervous system regulation
  3. Look after your gut health
  4. Manage inflammation
  5. Increase your daily steps (8-10k per day)
  6. Weight lift
  7. Eat high protein (protein takes the most amount of energy to digest).
  8. Manage your insulin resistence
  9. Eat in a caloric deficit (make sure your calories in do not exceed calories out).
Futher information about the bold items in the list is included below. Also, I know this all seems overwhelming but keep in mind you are creating a lifestyle change. This is not a quick fix.
To manage your insulin resistance (info from the book Glucose Goddess by Jessie Inchauspé):
To eat in a caloric deficit, calculate your TDEE and subtract 200-500 calories from that number. I like using this calculator. https://tdeecalculator.net
Eg. If it's calculated to be 2000 calories, you subtract 200, so 1800 should be your daily calorie intake. For the activity levels make sure you do not oversell yourself. Here is a general guide:
As you lose weight your body adapts so after a while you may need to recalculate your TDEE and deficit. Once you are at your ideal weight, you no longer subtract the 200-500, you simply eat the TDEE amount to maintain but you do this gradually. After I lost the weight I came out of the deficit by adding 50 calories to my daily intake per week, till I was at maintenance/my TDEE. This prevented me from gaining fat or water weight.
Lastly, muscle mass (increase in muscle raises your metabolic level, meaning you burn more calories at rest). This is ideal and is also how you'll see someone who is short, seemingly small but weigh more than you imagined. Muscle density weighs more than fat. Think of a 50 pound dumbbell versus 50 pounds of feathers, you would need a whole lot of feathers to match the weight. Same difference, you need a larger volume of fat to equal to the same amount of muscle. Therefore, lifting weights is ideal because you will become more toned, burn more calories at rest, be able to eat more even when you've lost the weight to maintain your phisique, you'll be more insulin sensitive, and you will have stronger and higher bone density (really important for women, we lose up to 5% of muscle mass per decade after the age of 30).

Body Recompositon: Weightlifting for health (and aesthetics), lose fat & gain muscle

It is possible to gain muscle and lose fat at the same time. I followed Huskular Goddess and and LexiiGettingFit for inspiration and they were really the ones that opened my eyes to the concept of body recomposition (gain musle while losing fat).
The benefits of this is as you're getting smaller your TDEE is increasing. This means by the time you lose the weight you'll still be eating an adequate amount. The other benefits include insulin sensitivity versus insulin resistence, higher metabolism, and a improved body composition like I mentioned before in the dummbell versus feather example. The downside is the number on the scale won't have a dramatic shift while your clothes will be fitting looser. Again, weight density plays tricks on us and it's easy to get caught up in body dismorphia but I promise it works.
In order to sustain and build muscle while losing fat, you need to be consuming enough protein while remaining in a caloric deficit. So 60-80g of protein per day minimum to lose 1-2lbs per week. Ideally it should be 0.8-1g of per pound of lean body mass. Eg, someone is 300lbs and they want to get down to 150lbs. They would eat 120-150g of protein per day. If this is too much, try to get at least 60-80g like I mentioned before. Remember even though 1-2lbs per week sounds small, the changes are significant because of the muscle gained. You will look and feel smaller.
Weightlifting for a rounder booty (I reshaped my glutes by weightlifting. Hormones can actually affect the shape and my PCOS did a number on me. I developed a V shape over the years. Round, square, heart, A shapes are all based on your bone structure and fat placement. Some of us just have those stubborn fat deposits in certain areas that are genetic, even when we lose the weight, it's a smaller version but the same shape. V shape on the other hand is largely seen in older women post menopause and in younger women with hormonal disorders. This is becuase the hormonal imbalances also causes muscle imbalances. Regulating your hormones helps but it won't grow the muscles for you, so I used Fit With Emely's glute guide based on your glute shape (completely free, I watched all her videos to get this info and it took me two years to go from a V shape to a round shape.
Here is the guideline for each shape:
Glute Maximus - Everyone should be working on glute maximus. It builds the shelf and overall size. Step ups (all variations), hip thrusts (all variations), lunges, rdl, leg press, all squat variations Glute Minimus - (V and Square shapes), this muscle fills in the middle between the top and lower glute. Hip abduction, single leg bridge, Standing hip abduction/cable raises Gute Medius - (Heart, Round, and A-shaped) this muscles builds a longer hip for top portion of the glutes. Eg. Single leg squat, Single leg deadlift, Cable clamshells, Reverse lung, step ups Underbutt - Everyone should be working on underbutt but this is especially useful for V shaped folks. It works the hamstrings and lower portion of glutes. Good mornings, single leg rdl (also works minimus), single leg hip thrust (also works maximus), hip abductors (also works minimus)
How to structure workout:
Keep in mind that you only need to work on a muscle group 2-3 times a week. So I only do glutes Mondays, Thursdays and Saturdays. Also keep in mind while I work the lower body I am also working my upper body (eg. while doing rdls I am lifting the weight with my upper body), which is why I don't have tailered upper body days, this is for aesthetic reasons, and because weightlifting more than 3 days per week is not feasible with my PCOS.
My full routine is:
I also used primarily resistance bands in the beginning because gym equipment intimidated me (not anymore :) ). I started with 25lb resistance and went up to 125lbs. I use the product BandBar which allowed me to use the resistance bands like a barbell at home. This isn’t the only option and you can definitely buy resistance bands and do it without the bar. BandBar
For the ab separation from being obese, I did this workout 3 times a week (also helpful post pregnancy): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=smiGsW-mQX0
For my chest to help with getting perkier boobs (the derma rolling was what made the biggest difference, but this exercise helped as well though it took 6+ months for the changes to be significant. Women tend to take longer to grow chest muscles): https://youtu.be/hg7_R29jGIE?feature=shared
I also did workouts to help with my posture and mobility 3 times a week (any I could find online)
The last thing I will say is be mindful that you may gain weight initially when you start lifting weights. This is due to slight inflammation/water gain from foreign tension, which will last about a month or two before you adapt BUT your body will adapt, I promise. Keep in mind if it's days before your period or if you are on your period. It's not if, but when, our weight fluctuates. As long as you are in a deficit and doing everything right, the number will go down. Do not get discouraged!!!
Here is the edit to this post which includes my supplements, how I managed my inflammation, and how I improved my gut health. I also edited the information I shared prior to include a few more tips and lifestyle changes I made, and included a few more details. I also rearranged things so there is a separation between style/haiskin and health information. The post is getting really long so I may create a separate post for personal development/mindset tips.

Inflammation

In my case my inflammation was caused by my PCOS, insulin resistence and my obesity, but it can be caused by chronic stress, other autoimmune disorders like IBS, Crohn's disease, etc, smoking/alcohol, age related diseases, environmental toxins, diets high in processed foods, sugars, trans fats & high omega-6 fatty acids.
In my case the inflammation from the PCOS led to gut inflammation due to the high levels of coritsal (stress hormones) in reaction to the high testosterone and insulin resistence. I also experienced metabolic inflammation (non alcoholic fatty liver disease), skin inflammation (as I mentioned earlier the ezcema on my scalp, alopecia, and hirsutism), adipose tissue inflammation, chronic low grade inflammation (this led to edema or fuid retention -> insulin resistance and my high testosteron/androgen levels also exacerbated this).
To fix this these were the thin I added to my life:

Gut Health

Your microbiota needs the right bacteria in the right amount to perform its hormone regulating functions properly. When the type or number of bacteria gets disturbed by events such as stress, or poor diet, or your gut can no longer accomplish its job meaning you'll have inflammation, increased risk of chronic disease, skin conditions, mental health issues, weakened immune system, nutrient absorprion problems, and weight management challenges.
For weight loss issues, gut microbiomes influence hormones in producing and signaling leptin and ghrelin (these hormones regulate hunger and fullness signals). Inflammation and insulin resistence is also associated with gut health problems as mentioned before. Energy extraction from foods, certain gut bacteria are more efficient at extracting energy from food, particularly carbohydrates. When there is an imbalance, more calories can be absorbed from food leading to difficulties gaining or losing weight.
Things I did to improve gut health/intestinal permeability:

Lower androgens/testosterone

Nervous System Regulation/ Stress Management

Stress is one of the things that age us the most, and people with PCOS already have higher levels of cortisol so these are the things I do to manage my stress levels:

Tea cycling

The best teas for PCOS

Seed Cycling

What is seed cycling? Seed cycling refers to the consumption of specific seeds at different times of the month in order to improve the production and levels of sex hormones, specifically estrogen, progesterone, and testosterone.
Seed cycling divides the female menstrual cycle into two parts:
  1. During the first half of the menstrual cycle, or days 1 through 14, seed cycling encourages daily consumption of flax and pumpkin seeds.
  2. During the second half of the menstrual cycle, or days 15 through 28, seed cycling encourages daily consumption of sunflower and sesame seeds
Results from seed cycling will not happen overnight. Normally women observe improvements after approximately three months of seed cycling adherence. It took me about 4ish months.
The Benefits of Seed Cycling: Support hormonal balance, alleviate PMS symptoms, decrease hormonal acne, alter irregularity of menstrual cycles, and fight stomach bloating and fatigue.
submitted by Plane-Ice-1828 to vindictapoc [link] [comments]

2024.05.10 12:04 Uterus_is_Ruderus What to wear to work?

I have had some medical things going on which makes me feel less feminine and pretty, and I’ve been struggling at work because I’ve observed that people see me as childish because of how I dress, my special interests, and the “toys” at my desk (I am 42).
I am fat and I work in IT, so I normally wear graphic t-shirts and jeans or hiking pants to work and wear slip on shoes in the office. I have poor temperature regulation and tend to overheat. I am looking for suggestions on things to wear to work that will be functional, comfortable, but also professional.
Due to the nature of my work I can’t wear business casual, some aspects of my job are dirty and physical. They have a “no leggings” policy but I received praise when I wore a long tunic with leggings so I think they mean leggings where your butt isn’t covered. We also can’t wear sandals or shorts.
I really struggle with trying new things, even something as simple as a new hairstyle, so I am looking for suggestions of things to try that may have worked for others, thank you!
Summary: looking for functional clothing as a field IT professional that will help me feel cute and be taken seriously (but also not drive me bananas because sensory issues).
submitted by Uterus_is_Ruderus to AuDHDWomen [link] [comments]

2024.05.07 04:50 Poorly-Drawn-Beagle Wrong Halloween II (Chapter 3)

She was used to disturbing dreams. For a while after the… incident, they’d been full of clowns. Clowns with sickly green eyes, in bad boaters and garish Hawaiian shirts. This one was different, disturbing in a less placeable way.
The room is pristine white and clean. It should be full of light, but something about it is dim and dingy. Large windows line the walls, but outside there is thick smog or mist; only a few slender fingers of light can make it through. There is a seat at one of the windows. A boy sits on the seat, dressed all in white. Somehow she knows to call this boy ‘brother.’
The brother stares out at nothing in particular, unless it is merely the world beyond the walls. She decides to take a few steps closer to him, then stops dead, blood running cold. The brother turns in his seat to look dead at her. He seems almost entirely like an ordinary boy until you see his eyes. They were full of something like hate. Actually hate seems too mild a word for what is in those eyes. Hate is human. These eyes are full of a murderous intent, guided almost it seems by a higher-lower power. It transcends anything human.
In her mind’s eye she sees fat specks of blood spatter on a pitch black surface like drops of rain.
Barbara Gordon jerked half-awake in her hospital bed. Whoa. Damn sedative. She was embarrassingly aware of a puddle of drool next to her mouth and was grateful to see Dick was not around. So where was everyone? Pitch black out. What time was it? Eight? Nine?
Easy, Barb. You nodded off. Dick decided to go do something besides watch you sleep. Nothing to panic about. She was aware of her legs again. Or still, rather. Before the ‘incident’ she would have guessed that paraplegics lost all feeling in their legs. Even after making a hundred new adjustments, relearning how to pull on her pants, coming to terms with how screwed she’d be as a wheelchair-user with a second-floor apartment, even after all that, she still felt phantom pains going up and down her legs some nights.
Well. If everything went alright tonight, that might change. A doctor flown in from South Africa, a quick surgical technique that was younger than she was, and Barbara Gordon could walk again.
Damn, she was tired. Her eyes were stinging from the effort of keeping the lids open. She let them close. Not to sleep. Just a little rest… what was she dreaming about before she woke, anyway? Something about a brother wanting to kill his sister. The details were already slipping out of her mind.
She sighed comfortably. Not sleeping. Just a little rest.
***
Dick Grayson sipped from a cup of truly awful coffee (he had been warned) and grinned. Inconvenient delays aside, he’d managed to kill an enjoyable couple hours in the commissary with a pair of nurses named Pieter and Asa while Kadaver’s Mystery Theater played Thing From Another World. Dick was fairly certain, despite his best efforts, he was hitting it off with at least one of them.
“So you really grew up in a circus?”
“Yep.”
“Sorry, you just don’t seem the type.”
“To bite heads off chickens or balance a ball on my nose?”
“I mean. For example.”
“I was an acrobat. In an act with my parents and my Aunt Harry. We were the Flying Graysons.”
“No way.”
“Yeah. It was pretty normal, really. I had a teacher who traveled with us, I had chores, friends. And when we were on the road we had coffee even worse than this. Tastes like nostalgia.”
Easygoing chatter was interrupted by a noise from a nearby table, the only other one occupied. An orderly was seated there, one whose demeanor rather aptly conveyed ‘sleazeball’ without requiring too much consultation with his appearance. He was, to put it mildly, engaging a coworker standing slightly behind him, with a good deal more physicality than was strictly indicated professional ethics. The object of his affections, evidently accustomed to it, stalked off acidly while the seated orderly smirked.
Turning to his two new acquaintances, Dick raised a quizzical eyebrow.
“That’s Morty Drake,” Pieter murmured, distaste evident. “Not really the most popular guy.”
“Wouldn’t be here if we’d had even one more person apply for the job,” Asa added.
Morty Drake, still unabashed, was now singing softly to himself. “Ohhh, my love, my darling, I hunger for your pie. Oh, IIII’ll be theeere-” Abruptly, Dick made up his mind.
“Hey,” he called across the room. He was aware of Pieter and Asa looking alarmed but pressed on. “That was a bit much, don’t you think? Might want to think about apologizing.”
Drake shot him a murderous glance. “Might wanna mind your own business, dicklick.” To punctuate the suggestion, he pulled a switchblade that certainly wasn’t part of the standard uniform.
Wonder if he came up with that before or after hearing my name. Dick idly noticed a rather skillfully-done tattoo of a skeletal Musketeer on the man’s neck. He found it somehow uplifting to look for redeeming features in unpleasant people. He realized with a start that he still had ‘Maid of Honor’ tucked away in a pocket.
Dick heaved a deep, theatrical sigh. “Oh, I’d really rather not do this. But since you’re testing me. You want to take this outside?”
Drake sneered. “You’re on.”
As Pieter and Asa watched in horror, both men stood, and both sauntered languidly and insolently towards the exit door to the back alley. Dick popped the door open, then was shoved aside haughtily by Drake, who walked out first.
Dick gently shut the door behind him, let the lock click, and walked back to the table, where Pieter and Asa were staring, stupefied. He tossed Drake’s artfully-swiped security pass onto the table.
“Told him I didn’t want to do it.”
***
It took Mortimer Drake a few seconds to realize he’d been locked out, after which he immediately began seething with rage. His keycard wasn’t in its usual pocket, either, leaving him stuck with a few king-size dumpsters. A few moments’ pounding on the door met with no response, though it made him feel marginally better. That goddam skinny pretty boy fruit. Gonna kick his ass.
Mortimer Drake gritted his teeth and stomped in a random direction, trying to orient himself. Nothing looked familiar in the dark. And damn, it was cold. He fantasized about pounding the fruit’s face inside-out in the vain hope that sufficient anger could make him feel warm.
He had walked along perhaps thirty minutes when he suddenly felt a strange feeling that he was being watched. Instinctively his hand went for the switchblade in his pocket, and he stopped to look behind him. Nothing there. But the hairs on the back of his neck were still pricking. He shrugged and moved on, muttering.
It occurred to Mortimer that he wouldn’t be able to get in through the usual entrance without getting a chewing-out for losing his ID. They’d blame him for something like that, never mind the punk in the cafeteria stole it from him. But… there was a window in the hydrotherapy room that was sometimes left unlocked. He might make a discreet entrance through there.
He picked up his pace a bit, cramming down the sensation that the thing watching him was now following him.
***
Harvey Bullock drove rather faster than was advisable through the Old Gotham. Even flooded with light, the city seemed dark tonight, and the darkness seemed to be staring at him, dark like a pair of empty eyeholes. Out in the darkness was the Shape.
Gordon had been right. Bullock had been something very close to a good cop, once. Maybe he’d taken money, when it was offered. In this town, who hadn’t? But he’d known where to draw the line. He’d never roughed up anyone who didn’t have it coming and he’d never turned a blind eye to anything that would keep him up at night.
The first night Michael Myers had run amok in Gotham City, Bullock had been on duty. In point of fact, he had run the bastard over in a car. And then Myers’ insane psychiatrist had given him an unneeded tracheotomy via pen-knife. Hits had kept coming through weeks of recovery. All of a sudden he didn’t have a job anymore, and neither did Montoya. Took a shot, turned out to be the wrong target, and out on her ass. Accusations like that stuck with a cop all their lives, even ones who kept their jobs. Shoot the wrong person, and ‘extenuating circumstances’ were just two words in a dictionary.
Bullock had been lucky enough to land on his feet. But somehow he’d never left that night behind. The nightmares had started not long after he left the hospital. Even though it hadn’t been Myers that slashed his throat, in the dreams it was always that pale mask-face. Some kind of darkness had gotten into him that night, through the wound in his neck, and it had spent the last few years festering.
“I got you now, you bastard,” Bullock muttered to himself. “Evil dies tonight.”
Tonight. By his hand. No need for Gordon, no need for the Bat. This was between him and Myers. Harvey Bullock drove faster than was strictly necessary, into the darkness.
***
The hospital really was quiet for a Halloween night. Even in small towns, you could normally expect a few minor disasters on a Halloween. Evidently the lengthening string of local disasters was persuading Gothamites in the East End to stay indoors after dark. That should have been a relief to Dr. Kinsolving; with staff begging off early to go to parties, they were short-staffed by now. Instead the emptiness felt oddly disquieting. Her footsteps seemed to fill entire hallways.
She nearly jumped out of her skin when she rounded a hallway and came face to face with Dick Grayson.
“Sorry!” the young man said, almost a whisper.
Kinsolving realized with a little embarrassment that she’d yelped, and grasped for her composure. “No. I- it’s Grayson, isn’t it? You were with Barbara Gordon. Are you still here?”
Grayson looked apologetic. “Sorry,” he said, voice still low. Kinsolving guessed that the Gordon girl must have been asleep. “We were waiting on some test results and never got them. I kind of lost track of time, I was-” and there he abruptly cut himself off, blushing slightly. “Actually I’ve been trying to get ahold of someone.”
He said it perfectly patiently, but to the doctor it sounded like the kind of patience that was just impatience trying to be polite. With another touch of embarrassment she realized how long they’d been kept waiting. On a slow night, too. Old Thompkins would have been furious.
“I’m terribly sorry, I don’t know what could be taking so long. Normally I would get some kind of notice from a technician-”
“Would his name be Morty Drake, by any chance?”
“Well… yes. How did you-”
“Never mind.”
“In any case, I’ll go along to the lab and see if the results are ready.”
“I’ll come with you,” Grayson said, innocently enough but clearly brooking no argument. Something about him seemed slightly on edge.
Kinsolving didn’t feel much like arguing, in any case. She was on edge herself. A little company would not be amiss. She walked briskly and Grayson kept pace with almost insolent ease. He had an undeniable charisma about him; Kinsolving was fairly certain he’d spent the last hour or so flirting with nursing staff.
Come to think of it. Where could Drake have gotten to? The doctor pursed her lips. Some day she was going to have to file a report on that one.
“Here we are,” she said at last. “If you could just hold on out here for a moment.” Grayson nodded obligingly.
Kinsolving poked her head into the lab, entering quietly, not quite tiptoeing. It was surprisingly dark. Too dark for anyone to be working. But she could make out someone sitting in the shadows. Judging from the hairstyle:
“Drake,” she said, relieved but annoyed. “I’ve been looking everywhere for you.”
It did not occur to her, in that moment, that Drake was unusually quiet for almost anyone and especially for Drake. It was only as she got closer to him that she began to realize something was wrong. Shondra Kinsolving had been a doctor in Gotham City a long time. She, it must be said, had seen some terrible things- things done by patients, to patients, to doctors, on occasion even by doctors (she still had nightmares about what had happened with Giggling Rendell in Surgery). Nothing had quite prepared her for what had happened to Drake.
It was the smell that reached her first, but she didn’t fully process it until she felt Drake’s shoulder. It squelched. He was soaking wet. And his skin, she could see by the little remaining light, was angry, blistering red, outermost layers peeled and torn away from musculature. Drake had been boiled alive, or drowned; either way his head had been held under scalding hot water- the hydrotherapy tanks, she realized- until he died.
Kinsolving’s hand started to go over her mouth, either to stifle a scream or hold back vomit. She wasn’t sure which. But before her hand could reach her mouth, another one was there. A wet, warm hand with strength like an iron bar. She tried to scream, couldn’t. Thrashed desperately, to no avail. Out of the corner of her eye, through panic, she saw the face of the man behind her, covered in a leathery clown mask of human skin. And she saw, clamped in the other hand, a syringe inching towards her eye, thumb slowly depressing the plunger. It was close now. Closer.
And suddenly the iron grip relaxed, and she could kick free. As she did, she could hear a grunt of surprise and the flapping of pages as a book hit the Shape in the side of its head. Less than a second later the Shape’s legs came out from beneath it, and it plummeted to the floor. She felt something grip her hand, and heard Dick Grayson’s voice. “Come on. Hurry.”
By some miracle her legs began working.
They were nearly out of the room, away from Drake’s mangled body and the nightmare in the clown-skin mask. A short distance that felt like an infinity. She heard a gasp of pain from Grayson, turned around- the Shape, lunging across the floor like an animal, had pulled a scalpel from somewhere, gashed the young man’s leg. A balletic kick to the masked face sent it sprawling once more.
They made it. Out of the room. Safe. No. Not safe.
Sheer survivor instinct was numbing her senses. She could barely comprehend what Grayson was doing as he pulled something- a short metal rod?- from a pocket, and jammed it through the door’s handles.
“What was that thing?” Kinsolving said. Shrieked, really. Her voice was not under her own control.
“Mask’s different. But I’m pretty sure we just met Michael Myers. Serial killer with very messed-up ideas about Halloween pranks.” Grayson said, grimly. He was leaning slightly, sparing a leg; the scalpel must have caught him. Kinsolving half-noticed a second layer of clothing under his jeans as he groped in his pocket.
“Shit.”
“What?”
“I… When he stabbed me, I think he somehow got my knife.”
She barely paid attention to that. “Is that going to hold him?!”
Suddenly the door dented outwards. Once. Twice. Again and again. The brace in the handles bent from the strain.
“Smart money says no. Run.Not ideal conditions to be facing an unstoppable serial killer, he reflected, drawing the other one. Not that facing unstoppable serial killers is ideal itself.
Nothing for it. His thumb squeezed a button on a hidden button in the stick’s base, feeling it extend and hum. Not just a stick anymore. Now it was a stun baton. That ought to at least give Myers a headache. There wasn’t much use in getting into costume now. The opportune moment for a dramatic Nightwing entrance was officially past. So, time for another tried-and-true tactic. As the Master said, ‘if your opponent is of bad temper, seek to irritate him. Pretend to be weak, so that he may grow arrogant.’
“Heeeeey, Mikey Mikey Mikey,” Dick called out, as he moved through the halls. “Didn’t hurt your face too bad, did I? The clown look suits you, by the way.”
He rounded another corner, carefully. Focus. Like Bruce taught you. What can you sense? At the moment, it was the lingering smell of Drake’s boiled flesh. Smelled like guilt. Sorry, Drake. All things considered, you didn’t deserve that. Along with the smell, there was sound-
Dick Grayson whirled out of the way just as a knife, pink-handled and engraved with MAID OF HONOR, stabbed through the air. A nanosecond from piercing his neck, the wicked curved blade gouged straight through the wall next to him. Dick felt his neck muscles tense as he imagined what that blade would have done to him.
He got his first good look at Michael Myers.
The Boogeyman did not look like a knife-wielding lunatic in a pair of coveralls. He looked like a shadow that had come to life, undying hatred in its black, black eyes. The preserved clown-skin mask, wrapped around his head on leather straps, gave his face a nightmare grin, and those black eyes peeked out now through the holes, alive with naked hate. Looking at him.
“Hi, Mike,” Dick breathed.
The Shape, of course, said nothing. But suddenly the knife was moving again, whistling through the air. Dick leapt. As the knife swung wildly he vaulted the monster’s shoulder, running across the wall and landing behind. Pain! lancing through his wounded leg as he hit ground. Ignore.
The stun baton struck Myers once, twice, before Dick flipped backwards out of reach. Just in time; another wild swipe came less than inches from slicing open his belly.
The Shape staggered slightly, only slightly. A hit from the baton should have left even a strong man curled up on the ground in agony. The Shape seemed barely annoyed. Oh, that’s a bad sign. Dick saw the muscles tense. The Shape did his trick well, but it was his only trick- lunge and slash. The day a Flying Grayson couldn’t dodge a knife was the day to hang up the tights.
Again. Alley-oop. Toro! Ole!
This time, ducking down and around, under the knife blow. Another few strong blows with the baton, and something like a grunt of pain this time. Oh, dear. Am I wearing you down?
Again. Again. Avoid the knife, hit him where he was weak. Zap. AGAIN!
The baton had struck Myers no fewer than a dozen times when he/it finally collapsed to one knee, heavy breathing agonized behind the clownface mask. The head dipped, and finally the Shape collapsed to the ground hard enough to shake the hallway. He was beaten.
Dick Grayson sighed. Huh. Okay. Not so tough after all, then. Though for a moment there…
The clown-mask still looked disturbing plastered across Myers’ expressionless face. Dick realized with a start that his hand was reaching out to remove it, almost entirely unbidden by his conscious mind. Time for that later. Get his knife and get some cuffs on him. He undid a spare pair from his belt and reached out, slowly.
Slowly…
He wasn’t sure what alerted him first. Something must have. When Myers stopped playing possum, when he sat upright with mechanical stiffness, he did so fast enough to finally get a good slash in. If Dick hadn’t suddenly sensed it coming it could have been his throat instead of his hand.
He heard himself swear. Felt himself stumble on his wounded leg.
And suddenly the Shape was on its feet and was grabbing him by his jacket, charging forward to pound him into a wall. Dick kept one hand on each of the Shape’s, the one near his throat and the one bringing the knife down at him. The strength was amazing, muscles like steel. Myers slammed him again, twice, vengefully.
Gotta flip him around. Or trip him. Get a foot around his leg-
Somehow Myers sensed his intention. They wriggled, struggled. And before Dick knew what was happening he heard broken glass and felt something sharp brushing his face. He plummeted backwards out the window into the cold night. Falling. Like Mom. Like Dad. Need my grapple.
Only a floor or two up. A short fall. Thought never got the chance to become action. The sickening smack into the ground. The thud against the back of his head, and his vision giving way to blackness.
From the broken window, Myers looked at the ground below, and at Dick Grayson’s quiet, still body sprawled out upon it. He tilted his face, either quizzically or admiringly. This one had surprised him. Come close to defeating him. No worries now. On to the main course. He turned on his heel and stalked for Barbara Gordon’s room.
***
The room was as quiet as a grave. There was not even the sound of footsteps on tile hallway outside, nor was there any creaking as the door opened. It still breezed open, silently, and a horribly patient shadow filled the doorframe. It moved across the floor, still silent, savoring. The low light of the room was simply swallowed up by the shadow, but a small gleam of it glinted off the knife’s blade.
The shadow reached the bedside. The blade rose over the shadow’s head with a terrible slowness, and it struck, plunging deep into the bedclothes. The shadow kept stabbing, almost frantically. And suddenly it stopped. The shadow ripped the bedclothes free and found, not Barbara Gordon’s mutilated body, but a neat line of pillows tucked into the bed. If the Shape felt anything like human emotions, it was probably feeling rage, now...
And down the dark hallway, struggling to crank the handrims both quickly and quietly and keep her breathing steady at the same time, Barbara Gordon was making for the elevator.
Come on come on come on come on.
Maybe the bad dreams had awakened her to the sounds of fighting. Or maybe the fighting itself had awakened her. Either way, the second she was awake, Barbara had been aware that something was wrong. Every instinct in her being screamed at her to run. After a quick push of the nurse call button had failed to raise anyone, she felt inclined to listen to instinct.
Come on come on come on come on. Why the FUCK didn’t I grab my phone? It was still in the pocket of her jeans, back in the room. It had seemed like too much wasted time to retrieve it as she fled. Now she was cursing herself. Phones on the wall. Stop to make a quick call?
Barbara turned her head over her shoulder. Someone was behind her. Something. Some Shape. Different from what she remembered, but horrifyingly unmistakeable.
Nope. No stopping. Barbara’s arms, raked with muscle, began working the handrims even faster. And Michael Myers, with his terrible patient determination, followed.
The elevator was at the end of the hall. Myers was moving slowly, toying with her like a cat with a mouse. Somehow the space of that single hallway seemed to stretch on for an eternity. She dared another glance over her shoulder.
In the half-light she saw Myers was no longer wearing the mask she remembered from those years ago. The pale emotionless face with the ratty hair and black hole eyes was now a tattered, lined clown face, ugly red lips drawn taut in a hideous grin. She had seen a face like that before, leering at her before a hammer pulled back and a trigger was pulled-
Her breath was in her throat again. Just go. Fast as you can. Just go. Just go. Come on come on come ON.
It seemed miraculous that she reached the elevator, almost unreal. Primed for flight, Barbara’s mind barely processed the corpse of the nurse stuffed in, limbs twisted and back bent backwards. The name tag read “Asa.” Don’t think about it. For now, survive.
She leaned overthe arm of the chair, hand slamming against a button almost at random. Ground floor. Most space to run. She hit it again. Again. Again again again. The clown-faced Shape was still striding towards her. The empty eyes, the malicious grin. Close close close come on come on COME ON. He was nearly on her.
The doors slid shut with barely a second to spare, and Barbara heard a hand slam against it furiously. About an eternity later, Barbara felt the elevator descend, and her heart begin to beat normally. The immediate fight-or-flight fear ebbed away, replaced with a sick, horrified feeling for the dead nurse she was sharing an elevator with. Dick, she thought, suddenly. Have to find him. He could be- no. He’s still alive. Find him. No. Prioritize. First get help. This fight isn’t on your terms. So first get help. Easy-peasy. Nearly there, in fact. You’re on the home stretch.
***
Michael Myers, normally silent, grunted with effort behind his new mask. His fingers jammed between the sliding doors of the elevator like crowbars. His muscles strained. The interlock groaned from the effort, then deformed, and, finally, with strength that was beyond freakish, Michael Myers pulled the doors apart. There was a heavy, sick breathing as the black eyes watched the cables of the elevator. Then, with swift and terrible movement, Michael Myers raised his knife and sliced through the cables.
submitted by Poorly-Drawn-Beagle to StoriesPlentiful [link] [comments]

2024.05.07 00:02 tired_loll AITA for saying those things to my mother

For context, I am in my last year of high school and am going to be having my prom at the end of the year. Many have already started looking for or have bought what they will be wearing. I usually am not a big fan of dresses, as I'm not very comfortable wearing those. Now, I know that compared to others, I'm not really what you would call overweight, but I know I am far from skinny and have always had issues with my image from a young age, though in the last years, I've lost a bit of weight, but not necessarily in the healthiest ways. Added to the fact that I've often been made fun of for my weight and how much I eat by, not only kids at school, but also my family, including my mother, yeah...
The more I was looking through pictures of dresses and prom attires, the more I realized that wearing one of those would be an issue for me and my self-esteem. While looking, I came across this image of a girl wearing a dark-ish red suit with a black corset as a top instead of a blouse (type prom suits women in Pinterest, you should find it) and so far, that's really been what I've been set on wearing. I really like it, it's in my style and, since it's a corset, I think I should be comfortable with myself wearing it, since it would hid my body more than a dress would. And anyway, I've always been more comfortable with jumpsuits, pants, etc and that's a known fact to people around me.
Now, my family is very religious and not very open minded regarding many topics, especially my grandmother with whom we live. I've tried bringing the topic to my mother, but every time, she hasn't taken me seriously, has made "jokes" about it or has simply ignored me and instead been telling me we should go out to go look for dresses for me.
A few days ago, I tried bringing up the topic again, but she mostly just made fun of me and dismissed me. My grandmother got involved and my mother summed up the situation to her in only one sentence, in a way that I know she knew would get a reaction out of her: "She wants to wear pants at her prom." It's not even like it's the first time she does something like that. She often tries to manipulate the situation to get my grandmother on her side and make me look bad in front of her because she knows how much my grandma loves me. Unfortunately for me, it worked. Let's just say it wasn't a fun night for me, but my mother, oh she was all smiles.
Fast forward to yesterday, I was still upset at my mother, not just because of the whole prom situation, but just for her overall behavior with me in the last months: the things mentioned before, never apologizing for making me visibly upset, even after telling her that she's upset and/or hurt me, always having something negative to say about me, my interests and choices, forcing me into clothes I hate for multiple events and to get a hairstyle I said I didn't like for my graduation picture a few weeks ago, etc.
While I was getting dressed (like, I was in underwear), she came to me, trying to joke around and hug me (knowing that I don't like hugs and often ask her not to). When she noticed I still looked upset, she asked me, laughing, if I was actually mad because of yesterday. Now I usually never tell her much about how I feel because it always turns into her yelling and insulting me, and me standing there and taking it, but I don't know, I guess I had had enough of always keeping everything in just to not have to endure another one of her lectures. I tried staying calm, explaining that it wasn't just about what she'd said and done the day before, but just what she says and does in general and how it's affecting me, how anytime I try to show something I like, that I'm proud of, that I want to do, etc, she always has to put it down, but of course I'm so sensitive and emotional that I started tearing up, making things worse I guess. She then started going on this whole angry rant about how she can "never say anything to me", that I'm "so sensitive" and "always take things personally". She said that for the suit thing, it's that "when girls wear suits, everyone knows that it's because they're lesbians"; that pretty pretty girls wear pretty pretty dresses and that this is not what I'm supposed to be wearing at a ball; that prom is still pretty far anyway and that there's no need for me to "fixate" on those things now; that when I'm fixated on something, we can never change my mind, that I'm focused on that and get "tunnel vision"; that because of that, she can never say anything, never have an opinion and that "it's like I want her to be a mindless opinion-less mother just there to satisfy and support my every desires, ideas and fantasies".
In my head, I'm just asking for basic respect, but maybe I'm just wording things wrong and didn't express myself correctly. After a few moments, I started hearing her from the kitchen sniffling. I started feeling bad because I thought she might've started crying because of me and that what I'd said probably started weighing on her or something. I don't know why I thought it would help, but I thought that talking about my image problem would help ease things and at least explain why I don't want a dress. I don't if I thought that changing the subject would do something or just trying to justify my choices and views, I don't know.
About half way through saying what I had to say I started crying again, and I was honestly just feeling so helpless, especially with the look she was giving me, like she couldn't bare to listen or even look at me. I was saying something along the lines of not feeling good and confident enough in my body to wear a dress because growing up I kept getting comments about my weight, my stomach, etc and still hear those things sometimes. I didn't even specify anyone or any names. Yes, I mostly meant people in the family because it's true, but it's not like it was just them. Guess that didn't change anything. She stopped me while I was trying to talk. She got even angrier, going on this rant about how I'm always dramatic; how I get too influenced by media and TV; that I'm saying nonsense when "I know very well that I'm not fat" (her words exactly); that it's how the family is, that we always joke about subjects like that; that I'm too sensitive; that she jokes about herself being fat all the time, so I shouldn't be this bothered by her saying the same things about me; that it's like I want to create stories and make up problems and issues for myself (like I have some kind of main character syndrome), and a lot more. She started talking about how I'm making her up to be the bad guy when she's a single mother always doing the most to spend money on me and my brother and listening to our problems when needed, but that if she's such a horrible terrible mother, then never mind.
I tried speaking, saying that that's not even what I was saying, but she just kept going. She then said something about how, if we can't even have the kind of relationship where we can laugh and joke about things, then she'll be strictly my mother who provides for me and nothing else. Honestly I don't even know anymore if I'm actually in the wrong or not. It's not the first time something like this happens, but it never seemed to bother her and upset her this much. I feel like she misunderstood everything I said, but I don't know. Maybe I just didn't word it correctly or maybe I really just am the terrible daughter she says I am, but am too self-centered to realize it or something.
Anyway now she's been ignoring me since, but not in an angry manipulative way for once. She seems more like tired and upset (I think).
So was I really in the wrong? Did I actually say anything that was out of place? I really need advice on how to arrange things because I really don't know what to do.
submitted by tired_loll to AITAH [link] [comments]

2024.05.06 23:55 tired_loll AITA for saying those things to my mother

For context, I am in my last year of high school and am going to be having my prom at the end of the year. Many have already started looking for or have bought what they will be wearing. I usually am not a big fan of dresses, as I'm not very comfortable wearing those. Now, I know that compared to others, I'm not really what you would call overweight, but I know I am far from skinny and have always had issues with my image from a young age, though in the last years, I've lost a bit of weight, but not necessarily in the healthiest ways. Added to the fact that I've often been made fun of for my weight and how much I eat by, not only kids at school, but also my family, including my mother, yeah...
The more I was looking through pictures of dresses and prom attires, the more I realized that wearing one of those would be an issue for me and my self-esteem. While looking, I came across this image of a girl wearing a dark-ish red suit with a black corset as a top instead of a blouse (type prom suits women in Pinterest, you should find it) and so far, that's really been what I've been set on wearing. I really like it, it's in my style and, since it's a corset, I think I should be comfortable with myself wearing it, since it would hid my body more than a dress would. And anyway, I've always been more comfortable with jumpsuits, pants, etc and that's a known fact to people around me.
Now, my family is very religious and not very open minded regarding many topics, especially my grandmother with whom we live. I've tried bringing the topic to my mother, but every time, she hasn't taken me seriously, has made "jokes" about it or has simply ignored me and instead been telling me we should go out to go look for dresses for me.
A few days ago, I tried bringing up the topic again, but she mostly just made fun of me and dismissed me. My grandmother got involved and my mother summed up the situation to her in only one sentence, in a way that I know she knew would get a reaction out of her: "She wants to wear pants at her prom." It's not even like it's the first time she does something like that. She often tries to manipulate the situation to get my grandmother on her side and make me look bad in front of her because she knows how much my grandma loves me. Unfortunately for me, it worked. Let's just say it wasn't a fun night for me, but my mother, oh she was all smiles.
Fast forward to yesterday, I was still upset at my mother, not just because of the whole prom situation, but just for her overall behavior with me in the last months: the things mentioned before, never apologizing for making me visibly upset, even after telling her that she's upset and/or hurt me, always having something negative to say about me, my interests and choices, forcing me into clothes I hate for multiple events and to get a hairstyle I said I didn't like for my graduation picture a few weeks ago, etc.
While I was getting dressed (like, I was in underwear), she came to me, trying to joke around and hug me (knowing that I don't like hugs and often ask her not to). When she noticed I still looked upset, she asked me, laughing, if I was actually mad because of yesterday. Now I usually never tell her much about how I feel because it always turns into her yelling and insulting me, and me standing there and taking it, but I don't know, I guess I had had enough of always keeping everything in just to not have to endure another one of her lectures. I tried staying calm, explaining that it wasn't just about what she'd said and done the day before, but just what she says and does in general and how it's affecting me, how anytime I try to show something I like, that I'm proud of, that I want to do, etc, she always has to put it down, but of course I'm so sensitive and emotional that I started tearing up, making things worse I guess. She then started going on this whole angry rant about how she can "never say anything to me", that I'm "so sensitive" and "always take things personally". She said that for the suit thing, it's that "when girls wear suits, everyone knows that it's because they're lesbians"; that pretty pretty girls wear pretty pretty dresses and that this is not what I'm supposed to be wearing at a ball; that prom is still pretty far anyway and that there's no need for me to "fixate" on those things now; that when I'm fixated on something, we can never change my mind, that I'm focused on that and get "tunnel vision"; that because of that, she can never say anything, never have an opinion and that "it's like I want her to be a mindless opinion-less mother just there to satisfy and support my every desires, ideas and fantasies".
In my head, I'm just asking for basic respect, but maybe I'm just wording things wrong and didn't express myself correctly. After a few moments, I started hearing her from the kitchen sniffling. I started feeling bad because I thought she might've started crying because of me and that what I'd said probably started weighing on her or something. I don't know why I thought it would help, but I thought that talking about my image problem would help ease things and at least explain why I don't want a dress. I don't if I thought that changing the subject would do something or just trying to justify my choices and views, I don't know.
About half way through saying what I had to say I started crying again, and I was honestly just feeling so helpless, especially with the look she was giving me, like she couldn't bare to listen or even look at me. I was saying something along the lines of not feeling good and confident enough in my body to wear a dress because growing up I kept getting comments about my weight, my stomach, etc and still hear those things sometimes. I didn't even specify anyone or any names. Yes, I mostly meant people in the family because it's true, but it's not like it was just them. Guess that didn't change anything. She stopped me while I was trying to talk. She got even angrier, going on this rant about how I'm always dramatic; how I get too influenced by media and TV; that I'm saying nonsense when "I know very well that I'm not fat" (her words exactly); that it's how the family is, that we always joke about subjects like that; that I'm too sensitive; that she jokes about herself being fat all the time, so I shouldn't be this bothered by her saying the same things about me; that it's like I want to create stories and make up problems and issues for myself (like I have some kind of main character syndrome), and a lot more. She started talking about how I'm making her up to be the bad guy when she's a single mother always doing the most to spend money on me and my brother and listening to our problems when needed, but that if she's such a horrible terrible mother, then never mind.
I tried speaking, saying that that's not even what I was saying, but she just kept going. She then said something about how, if we can't even have the kind of relationship where we can laugh and joke about things, then she'll be strictly my mother who provides for me and nothing else. Honestly I don't even know anymore if I'm actually in the wrong or not. It's not the first time something like this happens, but it never seemed to bother her and upset her this much. I feel like she misunderstood everything I said, but I don't know. Maybe I just didn't word it correctly or maybe I really just am the terrible daughter she says I am, but am too self-centered to realize it or something.
Anyway now she's been ignoring me since, but not in an angry manipulative way for once. She seems more like tired and upset (I think).
So was I really in the wrong? Did I actually say anything that was out of place? I really need advice on how to arrange things because I really don't know what to do.
submitted by tired_loll to AITA_WIBTA_PUBLIC [link] [comments]

2024.05.06 16:26 BooBoopsie Pluto and Moon in 1st house - constant appearance change?

Do you have Pluto in the 1st house? Or Moon in the 1st house? 1st house is appearance and Pluto and Moon are always changing. Pluto is transforming and the Moon is changing all the time. This effects your appearance.
Every few years I look like a completely different person. Weight drastically alters my appearance. If I gain or lose weight, the way the weight distributes on my face completely changes my facial features. Too much or too little weight on my face makes me look like a completely different person.
I have both these placements in my 1st house and I've literally looked at and walked by people from my past and they didn't recognize me. I'm also obsessed with being a small weight because I feel like I look my best with less fat on my face, making my jawline and features more prominent and beautiful. But it's super crazy. A 20 pound weight change will drastically alter my appearance. But then again so will a hairstyle or attire. I always said to myself if I ever got in trouble and the police was looking for me I'd just transform my appearance and they would never recognize me! lol
submitted by BooBoopsie to astrologymemes [link] [comments]

2024.05.05 01:30 Aromatic_Response103 Hollow cheeks for Asian hapa

Hollow cheeks for Asian hapa
Hello guys, need some advice on my face, as I know many Asian have high buccal fat which make us look round asf and childlike.
I am a hapa (Eng + Chinese) and currently weight around 71kg 5’11 around 15%~ bf and my current goal is to get hollower cheeks as many people say I look better if I’m more leaner so around 11% bf.
This is where I ask, do you think I can get hollow cheeks or do I require some form of buccal fat reduction in order to fully push my potential? I mean maybe this is overthinking it and I’ll get it but I’m still unsure will it work. Ig my bet is to keep going.
Anyways, here are so pictures of me for you guys to put some opinion. Oh also I’m looking to change my hairstyle what would you guys recommend? Thanks!
submitted by Aromatic_Response103 to AsianMasculinity [link] [comments]

2024.05.02 17:32 EatOutMyGrandma I Just Realized That Bamco Has Done ALL Of My Mains Dirty

Not talking gameplay. Lore wise. Lets start with Eddy. He goes from being a household name in Tekken 3 that put Capoiera on the map, to being enough of a badass that Jin puts him in charge of the Tekken Force. Then comes Tekken 7, where he gets the shit kicked out of him by a teenage weeb breakdancer cat chick that everyone hates and disappears. He never gets his revenge, never gets closure. Almost becomes a joke character
What about Paul? He went from being a guy who went toe to toe with Kazuya and won and then beat Ogre to a complete loser. "Strongest in the universe" to a half retarded hobo who gets no money and no hoes. They even took away his iconic hairstyle and gave him a Karen haircut.
Ganryu. Started out as a sumo goon, a dude so badass that he was hired muscle for the Mishima Zaibatsu. They decided "nah, thats boring, lets make him a registered sex offender". He got done the worst out of all of them. You know how weird it is to play as a fat, sex pest, middle aged stalker? Its not great, I'll tell you that much
Jack is the only one that has come out almost still cool. I'll just ignore the fact that hes so dumb that he rips his own head off in the cinematic, it was kinda funny. Wish they would have leaned into the "murder war bot" aesthetic more tho, Jack can be terrifying.
submitted by EatOutMyGrandma to Tekken [link] [comments]

2024.05.01 17:28 Gdwithwords An Exercise in First Person Character Development

I recognize that a weakness in my work is character development. Plot design is my strong suit. I recently read "Mirrorland" by Carole Johnstone. The book is perhaps overly descriptive but is a masterwork in first person character development. I was inspired to write a short as an exercise in an attempt at improving my skill in this regard. Out of respect for Ms. Johnstone, I named the phycologist after her. Here is an excerpt from what I have so far. I request any helpful comments for improvement. At this point I am not sure where this thing is going but I'm pretty sure I can make it interesting Thank you.
Miss Melody
"I was never pretty. For as long as I can remember, Mother made sure that I was realistic about my prospects. What I lacked in looks though, I made up for in talent and poise, or so I thought. It’s what Mother insisted should happen. If this world were fair, if it were honest, then that’s how it would have turned out. I was an only child, and I was a natural. From the first time I sat in front of a piano I was picking out tunes. Some of my first memories are of playing children’s melodies I sang with Mother and then figuring out the chords. Mother realized my potential immediately of course. She wasn’t one to take such things for granted. For my sixth birthday she bought me a Steinway baby grand. A grand piano never would have fit, otherwise that’s what it would have been. It was the way Mother thought. If you’re going to do something, it’s got to be all the way or nothing. She was born into old money, dating back to the lumber industry boom in the late nineteenth century and after that, the Klondike gold rush. She grew up in what people took in the day for high society. Things didn’t work out the way she thought they should, but it didn’t matter. That life was in her blood. It was in her bones. She made sure that I sensed it. That I felt it. That I reflected it. She was sure I was destined to embody the life she grew up with, and she was on a mission to make it happen. Somehow. I remember Mother lecturing me on how to make a public entrance. I was eight.
“Hold your chin high. Square your shoulders... That’s right. Don’t forget to straighten your back. Never ever slouch, especially when you play. But more importantly, you need to perfect the art of indifference. To do that, you have to mask what you feel. You can’t let your face express what’s going on inside that head of yours. You care nothing about what anybody thinks. Why should you? Your talent, your ability, your accomplishments, they all speak for themselves. Even if you’re nervous. Never appear to be. You inspire confidence by acting the part. It’s what makes people pay attention to you and take you seriously. It’s what creates opportunities. Let them first appreciate your composure, your elegance, your style, your poise. All your hard work means nothing if you don’t get to show them what you’ve got. That’s why you have to act the part.”
I remember it like it was yesterday. The year was 1918. Father sitting on his chair in the living room, his face buried in the Wall Street Journal and his head surrounded by cigar smoke. A daily ritual. I was in the kitchen helping mother with the dishes. That year, Father went out and bought a new Model T. He was proud of that car. On weekends sometimes, the three of us would take a long drive into the mountains then spread a blanket out in the grass near a bubbling spring and have a picnic. He drove me to my lessons in it twice a week. I was under the tutelage of a well-known pianist named Elizabeth Curcio. She took on only a handful of students, those she deemed the most promising. It’s how I first met Sharon. She studied under Mrs. Curcio since she was four. Well, you should understand though; it only took me a few weeks to catch up with her even though we were the same age and when she figured that out, she got hot with envy. From then on, she wasn’t nice to me at all. It pushed her to try harder and she made it her mission to best me. Later we became friends…or I supposed we were anyway. It’s what everyone assumed since we were always together. Don’t get me wrong. Without question she was good. But I was better. Much better. But when you don’t have the looks, you don’t get the accolades. It’s the way it works. You may not think that’s true, but it is. Don’t you agree Dr. Johnstone?
Buzzzzzzzzzzz.
“Time’s up, Eileen.” Dr. Johnstone looked up from his notes and gave me a clinical-looking smile. “It’s been a good session. Now, what about your pills? Do you need more Valium?”
I’m lying on his couch, looking up at the ceiling when the buzzer goes off. I turn my head to stare at him, irritated. I’m offended. I was in the middle of a thought. I stare at those round glasses sitting on the end of that huge nose framed by a fat face and double chin. He reminds me of Jackie Gleason. (How sweeeeeeeet it is!) Then coming to myself, I nod. “I need more... Is the buzzer really necessary, Doctor? I was in the middle of something. It was important that I speak of it.”
“I have my notes. We can pick it up next time. And the valium. Is it helping with your anxiety?”
I sit up. “Yes, it helps. Of course it does.” I’m trying not to sound desperate. That fuzzy sense of wellbeing is all I have to look forward to. As I take up my purse my mind wanders again, and I wonder how much valium use has increased since President Kennedy’s assassination. The socialites, the regulars at the concert hall, they’re all still traumatized if you believe the talk. I wonder if Sharon took them. I guess I didn’t check. It occurs to me that Dr. Johnstone isn’t much more than a glorified drug pusher with a degree. Ladies and gentlemen, please give a warm welcome to the famous and esteemed clinical psychologist, Dr. Drug T. Pusher. I glance back as I leave, but he doesn’t look up. He’s staring down at his notes. The thought is disturbing, but if the shoe fits…
Two younger women sitting on either side of the waiting room look up at me pensively as I exit the exam room and then look back at each other. Both are wearing nearly identical pillbox hats, one brown, the other green. The hair’s the same too - that Jacqueline Kennedy hairstyle. Short, above the shoulders. Poofy on top, a flip on either side toward the back. The one I refuse to try. It’s too popular and I’m too old for it anyway. My hair’s too gray and I refuse to dye it. Love the hats though.
It’s nine forty-five. Monday. Mine was the first appointment. Mrs. Henry sits behind the front desk dressed all in white with that cute nurse’s cap on her head. She hands me my new prescription. She must have stacks of them, all pre-written and signed. Permission slips to get stoned. I’ll fill it at Walter’s Drug Store around the corner before I drive home in the Fairlane. Mrs. Henry is neutral, unconcerned, nonjudgemental. Exactly what I need her to be. I’m paid up for the month, so I just take the prescription as she hands it to me, thank her, then leave.
​
submitted by Gdwithwords to writers [link] [comments]

2024.04.29 19:40 Throwaway32142114 Hairstyle/haircut recommendations?

Hello brothers, today I come to ask for some advice on my hairstyle as it's grown faaar too long. Here are the pics: imgur
I've never styled my hair but am open to learning it. Also I'm a bit fat rn andI'm currently working on losing some weight so don't worry about that haha. Anyways any hairstyle suggestions are welcome!
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submitted by Throwaway32142114 to AsianMasculinity [link] [comments]

2024.04.29 19:29 iwouldntmindyeah Mother wants to control how I dress and what I buy then gets mad when i dont want to

for context im 15f and the way i dress matters to me and good clothing makes me happy. i wear mostly dark clothing as it makes me comfortable. but my mother doesnt give a fuck about my comfort. its not just my clothibg but my hairstyle and makeup and anything you can think of but thats not the point.
my mother ALWAYS has to be with me when we go shopping for clothes to make sure i dont buy something she doesnt like. its my fucking clothing, not hers. i wish ANYONE else would be my mother just not this fat narcissistic pig. i went overboard anyways sorry but she gets mad when i want to have control over something for once and want to have a say in anything. its gets hard to breathe in this household. its not like im picky over the shit i wear but shes SO controlling. always deciding what i do and wear. its not even anything revealing just simple dark clothing. i suggested i go shopping for clothes by my own and she ridiculed me and laughed at me.
she belittles me and makes me constantly feel guilty when i oppose to anything she says. shes an energy vampire. she first makes pesky and snarky comments and when i get mad over it she turns it into an argument and feeds off of my anger and drains all the energy out of me thwn guilt trips me into thinking im the 1 at fault. its just clothes i dont get why its a big deal ????? im tired of living under her roof and her constantly controlling me. how do i stand up to her? i feel like anything i say will go over her head.
just so fucking tired of not being able to express myself. my friends moms let them wear what they want as long as its not problematic. dark clothes is NOT problematic.
she will also make a scene in public and threaten to slap me if we dont buy what she wants lol.
submitted by iwouldntmindyeah to raisedbynarcissists [link] [comments]

2024.04.29 13:33 weareweirdosmister Tales of a Narcissist MIL

My now ex (thank God) MIL is one of the most stuck up, entitled people I have ever met. There are so many stories I could fill a book, but here are a few highlights:
1) She cried when we were planning our wedding because we weren't doing it her way. She wanted a bunch of extra guests, some of whom I had never met. Unfortunately, I was a push over back then and caved, so the grooms side ended up double the brides side. She cried because we weren't providing enough wine. She cried because we weren't getting married in their family church knowing neither myself nor my ex are religious and she claimed my exes grandmother (who he was particularly close to) would be rolling over in her grave because we dared not to get married before God. That one we did not concede on. She is very stuck up and wanted a big lavish, expensive wedding filled with HER friends and family to show off with and she was unhappy with our more modest ideas. 2) She repeatedly told me my BABY needed to go on a diet. She said I gave him too much fruit as fruit is so high in sugar. She told me I should count his calories to ensure his weight stayed down. He was a BABY, just weaning onto solid food and had the same healthy baby fat of all children his age. She would deny him food when she sat him and he always came home starving. I packed snacks for him in order to be helpful but also to ensure he ate enough and she refused to give them to him, sometimes throwing them away. 3) She gave me back the present I bought her because it wasn't expensive enough. My marriage was very toxic (that's a whole other thread) and I carried a lot more of the household burden. I bought every gift we gave to our son as well as to his extended family (his parents, brothers and sisters and nephews and nieces). I paid for and bought and wrapped them all. It got to a point where money was a little tighter and I couldn't spend as much as I once had. I bought her a necklace from an outlet mall along with earrings from the new items area of a thrift store (they sold goods retail stores provided to them that they would otherwise discard) and an admittedly second hand scarf. She handed it back to me saying I might as well give it to someone else because she couldn't wear any of it. The jewellery was not silver or gold so she wouldn't wear it (this was nonsense as she wore costume jewellery all the time including many pieces I had bought her over the years) and the scarf had a small hole along the seam where the tag must have been (that one was on me for not noticing but it was genuinely less than half a centimetre). I was dumbfounded and didn't know what to say so I just apologized and took the items back. To my husband behind my back, she told him that I had not spent enough money and had clearly just bought a bunch of garbage from a charity shop. She said the lack of money spent was a clear indication of how little I respected her. I was flabbergasted! I was raised that the thought is what counts and that any gift should be appreciated. The woman had bought me plenty of hideous things over the years which I politely took, thanked her for and later donated or regifted. Clearly, to her, expense was more important than thought! 4) She was the most passive aggressive human I have ever encountered in all my days. Some of my favourite lines are, "Was your hairstyle deliberate?" afer I got my hair cut, "That outfit is an interesting choice." "Your house is so...you." Can't you just hear her condescending tone as you read those? She stuck her nose in the air at everything and looked down on myself and my family...she is awful!
All I can say is there is a reason my ex (her son) is as awful a person as he is....but that's a whole other story!
submitted by weareweirdosmister to CharlotteDobreYouTube [link] [comments]

2024.04.29 11:01 bustergod123lol Does this hairstyle make my face look fat?

Does this hairstyle make my face look fat? submitted by bustergod123lol to malehairadvice [link] [comments]

2024.04.28 19:44 LogicalExamination84 Current

Current
Good hairstyle(i believe it's side quiff) (according to my square face shape too), update something or change it? But while not drastically shortening it. P.S. Don't mind my a bit fat physic 🤫 P.P.S. maybe a stupid question, but is it better to use matte hair paste on the wet damped hair, or dry it first? 😀
submitted by LogicalExamination84 to malehairadvice [link] [comments]

2024.04.28 11:44 Sandycheeksfutacock Ihaveihaveihave fermale characters designs

Ihaveihaveihave fermale characters designs submitted by Sandycheeksfutacock to ComedyNecrophilia [link] [comments]

2024.04.26 02:42 awesomedusa Is this abuse

TL:DR I don’t think my husband of 15 years likes me or loves me, and I think he never did.
I am not sure what is happening in my marriage. My (f36) husband (M40) has always been controlling and he doesn’t see it. I feel that he is very demanding. He judges me pretty hard on my appearance, my conversations topics, my voice, my hairstyle, my smile, the food I make him. Leaving me asking what does he actually like about me. I stoped working when I had a pretty bad experience in job, and I quit with the idea of finding a better match. Covid hit and he convinced me to be a stay at home wife, which I felt pretty ambivalent about, since I had a career and an advance degree. But he made pretty good money, so it made no sense for me to work according to him. He would like me to give him all the power to decide everything, from constantly demanding I get plastic surgery to what I wear everyday. I also feel that our sex life is pretty one-sided, and for the last couple of months Ive gotten pretty tired of it. Back in January I expressed more sexual needs, and the conversation went pretty badly. He says he is “turned off” by “selfish women”. Which I think is unfair, since I do quite a lot to try to please him at least two to three times a week. We do have sex, and I do enjoy it sometimes. I think since then our relationship has taken a turn for the worse. He is always saying that I don’t pay him attention, or listen to him. But I am taking care of our toddler, making breakfast, lunch and dinner since he works from home. A couple of weeks ago he went on a trip, and I stayed at home with the kid. Since I’ve been so sexually frustrated, I tried to enjoy my time alone and bought a couple of things to relive myself. I am currently away with my family that I haven’t visited in ten years. While ive been away he snuck into my sewing supplies, where I hit the things between the fabrics. He says he is hurt that Ive been keeping secrets, and lying about who I am. I told him I was sorry, I explain to him that I didn’t want to burden him with my sexual needs, since he finds the idea of touching me, or oral sex to women repulsive. He told me that if I wanted more sex (and I tried to explain to him that is not necessary it), I had to work harder, wear more make up, dress better and not act like I do. He insist that I am acting entitled, if I expect him to just like me how I am, and not working harder to be a “TikTok girl”. I was like okay, whatever. The next day I called him during the day, I was wearing shorts and a tshirt and hanging out with my mom, her husband and my kiddo. He asked me to talk privately so I went to the side, he said he was disappointed that I called him looking like “a toaster”. That I didn’t fix my hair, put on make up, or try better camera angles, that I looked old and that he felt that I was friend zoning him. And he ended with “you are not looking or acting like someone who wants to get fucked when you get back home”. He also said that he is not just some gross man, who will fuck anything” and that maybe thats what I want. I said I was sorry and we hung up. Later when I called him, i tried telling him a story about my day and he said “why are you talking about that, you dont sound like someone who is sorry” and I told him that I was just trying to have normal conversation. He said alright lets talk about something else, so then he started talking about feminism theory, half an hour later, I realized that he is just wanting to get to the point about how ugly women now feel entitled to sex, without being hot. Yes, I am a bit chubby after the baby, i am around 140 pounds, but my waist is 29 inches, I run races and most people tell me I am pretty. I only feel ugly when I am with him. Whenever I am by myself or in public, I don’t think I am ugly at all. I have fillers, botox, i have a bit of red spots in my face but so what? Many people do, and I get complements on my skin when I went to the dermatologist. I am often told I look like I am in my late 20s. I don’t think I did anything wrong by trying to meet my needs either. Yes I lied about it because I was avoiding exactly this, him telling me that I am ugly, fat and unattractive. I think he is just using this to get me to have another plastic surgery which I dont want to get. He says he loves me and wants us to “work” on this. But I am feeling quite discouraged by the whole thing, I just cry a lot all the time, and I am stressed and anxious constantly. My therapist thinks he is the reason for my anxiety and depression and I agree. Honestly I am so tired of the stress, I feel like I cannot have a casual conversation with him. Nothing is fun anymore. Every car trip is about why he is “unhappy” in the relationship. I dont expect everything to be perfect, but at this point I don’t think he loves me or likes me, and id be better off completely alone, that way I’ll be in peace. Am I wrong here?
submitted by awesomedusa to abusiverelationships [link] [comments]

2024.04.24 23:35 TherealNatsuki888 [FO4] Help with mod ordering

Game is crashing occasionally and I wanna know how I should order for best performance:
Fallout4.esm
DLCRobot.esm
DLCworkshop01.esm
DLCCoast.esm
DLCworkshop02.esm
DLCworkshop03.esm
DLCNukaWorld.esm
BakaFramework.esm
Centaur.esl
HUDFramework.esm
TrueStormsFO4.esm
ArmorKeywords.esm
TacticalReload.esm
TrueStormsFO4-FarHarbor.esp
TrueStormsFO4-NukaWorld-FH-Compat.esp
TrueStormsFO4-EarlierSunsetsFH.esp
TrueStormsFO4-EarlierSunsets.esp
InteriorsEnhanced-All-In-One.esp
DarkerNights.esp
DarkerNightsDetection.esp
disablelegendaryspawns.esp
CBBE.esp
[ARRETH] FGEP-DE.esp
VeryZenFGEP_2k.esp
SCOURGE - Vanilla.esp
SCOURGE - Nuka World.esp
SCOURGE - Far Harbor.esp
SCOURGE - Automatron.esp
SCOURGE - Patch - CWCentaurs.esp
SCOURGE - Patch - FGEP.esp
Be Exceptional.esp
HumblePerksPack.esp
LooksMenu.esp
Scopes.esp
StartMeUp.esp
A Forest.esp
A Forest-Base Mod Patch.esp
MoreRust-softcolors.esp
It has been a long 1k road.esp
No More Fake Puddles - Nuka World 1-0.esp
WET.esp
Radiant Clouds and Fogs.esp
DarkerNights-Radiant.esp
KSHairdos.esp
AzarPonytailHairstyles.esp
Obi's Vault Suit.esp
Modern Military Pack.esp
PMC Operators Pack.esp
K9TacticalHarness.esp
Pip-Boy Flashlight.esp
Gas Masks of the Wasteland.esp
Gas Mask True Storms.esp
Gas Mask ArmorKeywords.esp
radmeter.esp
CombinedArmsNV.esp
CombinedArmsEXPack.esp
LeeEnfieldNo4MkI.esp
M1A.esp
HK_UMP.esp
MP-412.esp
AER15.esp
SA80.esp
Glock19x.esp
MP7.esp
HK_MP5.esp
TEC9.esp
GIAT_FAMAS.esp
F4NVServiceRifleRedux.esp
fn five-seven v3.0.esp
ChinaLakeandHolorifle.esp
P220.esp
KrissVector.esp
RU556.esp
FnScar.esp
ImiUzi.esp
SigMCX.esp
SV-98.esp
HaxRPG7.esp
HKUSP9mm.esp
MK18.esp
Mossberg500.esp
McMillanCS5.esp
FOrigin12.esp
3dscopes.esp
EG7.esp
CazadorML.esp
Wana_SA58.esp
SkibsWeapons-REDUX.esp
MW1Mike4.esp
Mosin.esp
VarmintRifle.esp
CrudeBlowback.esp
Tomacuzi9.esp
Cranky.esp
QMW-3DM82A3.esp
QMW-3DSCOPEAUG.esp
QMW-3DSCOPEM249.esp
QMW-3DSCOPEMK12.esp
QMW-3DSCOPESPAS12.esp
QMW-3DSCOPEVSS.esp
QMW-CAE-ALLINONE.esp
QMW-CAG36.esp
QWM-3DSCOPE550.esp
QWM-CAAKM.esp
Be Exceptional - Uninstall.esp
Energy Weapon Replacer - AER15 - Laser Guns.esp
Energy Weapon Replacer - Rheinmetall EG-7 Energiegewehr - Gauss Rifles.esp
Energy Weapon Replacer - Rheinmetall EG-7 Energiegewehr - Plasma Guns.esp
Modern Weapon Replacer - Cazador Missile Launcher - Missile Launchers.esp
Modern Weapon Replacer - Combined Arms - AKM - Handmade Rifles.esp
Modern Weapon Replacer - Combined Arms - Barret M82A1 - Lever Action Rifles.esp
Modern Weapon Replacer - Fostech Origin 12 - Combat Shotguns.esp
Modern Weapon Replacer - Glock 19x FX0x01 - 10mm Pistols.esp
Modern Weapon Replacer - Kriss Vector - Submachine Guns.esp
Modern Weapon Replacer - Personal Minigun - Miniguns.esp
Modern Weapon Replacer - RPG-7V2 - Fat Man.esp
Modern Weapon Replacer - WH-Mk.19 Shrike - Gatling Lasers.esp
Energy Weapon Replacer - AER15 - Laser Muskets.esp
Energy Weapon Replacer - Rheinmetall EG-7 Energiegewehr - Institute Guns.esp
Modern Weapon Replacer - Combined Arms - G36 - Radium Rifles.esp
Modern Weapon Replacer - Combined Arms - M1911 - Pipe Revolvers.esp
Modern Weapon Replacer - Combined Arms - M9A1 - Gamma Guns.esp
Modern Weapon Replacer - Izhmash SV-98 - Hunting Rifles.esp
Modern Weapon Replacer - Mossberg 500 - Double Barrel Shotguns.esp
Modern Weapon Replacer - MP-412 - .44 Revolvers.esp
Modern Weapon Replacer - Service Rifle Deadpool2099 - Assault Rifles.esp
Modern Weapon Replacer - Sig Sauer P220 - Deliverer.esp
Modern Weapon Replacer - Springfield Armory M1A - Combat Rifles.esp
Modern Weapon Replacer - AnotherOne TEC-9 - Pipe Guns.esp
Mosin Pipe Bolt Action Replacer.esp
True Damage.esp
True Damage - Vehicle Module.esp
True Damage - DLC.esp
TD - LeeEnfieldNo4MkI.esp
TD - Combined Arms.esp
TD - Combined Arms Expansion.esp
TD - fn five-seven v3.0.esp
TD - ChinaLakeandHolorifle.esp
TD - Mossberg 500.esp
TD - Heckler und Koch - MP7.esp
TD - MK18 CQBR.esp
Actually Lethal Headsh0ts.esp
FOVSlider.esp
Also any mod recommendations would be nice
submitted by TherealNatsuki888 to FalloutMods [link] [comments]

2024.04.22 17:15 AllThingsWorn Boosting your Body Image as a Plus Size Person

Boosting your Body Image as a Plus Size Person
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https://preview.redd.it/7fx7efxwr1wc1.png?width=720&format=png&auto=webp&s=8cda77651ba78ffa9866b7122b88d4851f707928
Hello readers! As many of you may already know, I’m a plus size seller on this site. I’ve gained a lot of body confidence from selling here in the past 3 years, but I had managed to gain a lot from elsewhere before I started making sales here. This was a long and difficult journey for me as I have had a very poor body image for a long time, prior to this. I know this is the case for a fair amount of other individuals that would be categorised as plus size, overweight, fat etc. so I wanted to write a blog about my experiences in hopes that I can provide advice for these individuals and maybe help them to boost their confidence like I have done for myself, or just to provide a resource that you can pass on to someone you know off site that may need some help in this area!

How It Started

Like many kids that struggled because they were different, I was bullied a lot. After a while, I had to start looking for ways to comfort myself. My go-to was food. I had a lot of junk food and unfortunately, would often overeat. As expected, this added to the list of things I was bullied for as I of course gained weight. As a result, my body image was damaged, along with my self-esteem. When this happens, the best thing to do is start to look for ways to build yourself back up which is what I did, over the course of the last 10 years.

How I Began to Build up My Body Image

I think the biggest thing that helped me was starting to see more positive representation of bodies like mine. I mainly saw this as a teenager, back in my days on Tumblr, where many artists would draw far more diverse characters, including plus size people. They were drawn with accuracy, they had confidence in themselves and had the most gorgeous designs. I also enjoyed movies with plus size actresses like Melissa McCarthy and Rebel Wilson that could be seen wearing stunning outfits, great makeup and their hair done up. (Spy is a good example or Pitch Perfect). Seeing representation like this allowed me to get an image of plus size beauty, something that meant I could finally start to appreciate my body instead of feeling the need to hide it in shame. I know this last point won’t be applicable for some readers but as a lesbian, I always found many different types of women attractive, including larger women. This made me think to myself “if I can appreciate when someone else is big and beautiful, why can’t I appreciate that about myself?” Even if you’re not into women, just taking time to appreciate how pretty plus size people can be, as well knowing that there are those that find it appealing, can do a lot for you.

What I Do Now

I spend my time boosting my confidence with style and fashion mostly. There’s a lot more stylish plus size clothing available nowadays, thankfully. I find that treating yourself on occasion can really help to give your self-image a little boost. I’m at a point now where I think just about anything looks good on me. Goth fashion, grunge, retro, pastel, fairycore, lace, velvet, mesh, you name it! I cannot pick an aesthetic to save my life. Doing your hair up or trying out some makeup looks can also do wonders for your self-esteem. I’ve really been getting into testing out different hairstyles I found on TikTok, especially different types of braids. Looking at plus size models or other plus size sellers flaunting their looks gives me a lot of hope and encouragement, it makes me think “they’re so pretty and they look happy with themselves so I can be too”. Posting myself on here has definitely raised my self-esteem, along with making me more confident in my size. However, there’s still some people that like to be negative about others online so the number one thing that I remind myself of and strongly advise you to remind yourself is that beauty is subjective. It’s all just opinions, some of which come from being very shallow, self-centred or just being insecure and projecting. If someone wants to whine about how ugly they think you are, that says more about them than you. And why would you take the opinion of someone like that seriously? And since when were they put in charge of deciding the definition of beauty? Spoiler alert: You wouldn’t, and they weren’t.

Conclusion

So, in conclusion, if you are struggling with your body image, doing a few things regularly to build yourself back up will make a world of difference. Do what makes you feel good about yourself. Don’t listen to people that think you have to meet their bullshit beauty standards! Hope you all have a lovely day xxx
Want to read more blogs? Find helpful tips for sellers and buyers, information on kinks and fetishes, and erotica here:
https://www.allthingsworn.com/blog?utm_source=reddit&utm_medium=blog&utm_campaign=allthingsworn&utm_id=ATW
submitted by AllThingsWorn to AllThingsWornOfficial [link] [comments]

2024.04.22 03:11 tobinobi Just lost my first boy

Just lost my first boy
I’ve never posted here, but I just wanna show off my sweet boy to memorialize him in honor of his passing today.
His name was Nishi, short for Nishinoya because he had a similar coat pattern to the hairstyle of Nishinoya from Haikyuu which I was a huge fan of when I got him. My mom’s friend gave him to me two years ago, he was 5 years old when we got him making him 7 years old. He was loud, fat, cuddly, and would popcorn around the bed and floor often. He had a little rivalry with our other boy, Charlie, and they shared a girlfriend, Brownie.
But Nishi was all mine. He was here with me in bed as he passed away, and I just hope he felt loved enough.
submitted by tobinobi to guineapigs [link] [comments]

2024.04.22 01:51 Lumpy_Ad7076 Having a sew in emergency 🆘!!

Hi girls!
My 16th birthday is 4 days away and im already have hair issues😓
I want to have a frontal GLUELESS sew-in because I do sports but I'm having trouble finding tutorials or updated versions. Then I have to buy the rest of the bundles I ordered an 18-inch frontal but since my mom does 2-3 bundles on me I don't know which length of bundles I get next. Also, I want to dye all of it to a dark plum color but I'm having trouble finding the dye. Then since I couldn't fit a stylist I had to do the installation but I had to pluck and bleach, etc. In addition, I live in an area where there aren't a lot of beauty supplies and most of them are EXTREMLY outdated, like stuck in the 2000s (6 in my town), and theyre very expensive and really rude (one of the owners kept raising the price and lying to my mom when we were in one of them and call her fat ). Most of all hair is a very important part of me and if it's not done / not what I wanted I get upset I don't want that for my 16th birthday (mostly do if I get presents or not I JUST WANT TO GET MY HAIR DONE☹️☹️)My mom said she's not going to help me so I'm on my own
Any tips?
And before you say anything I choose frontal because I like to style my hair in different hairstyles!
Edit: Questions:
With a glueless sew does my frontal have a chance of sliding off while running? ( IM CLEARING THE WHOLE AIR OUT IF IT HAPPENEDS😭😭)
I have seen people saying to use melt spray or makeup. Which one should I get based on me doing sports?
submitted by Lumpy_Ad7076 to blackladies [link] [comments]

http://rodzice.org/