Cute things to say to your boyfriend goodnight

This is kind of a long post, so I truly appreciate anyone's help who is patient enough to read through this. I am seeking career advice and suggestions.
I work for a larger to medium sized regional property management company as an assistant property manager. This company has portfolios all over the southeastern US and I am moving from NC to SC. My current home will be about 2 hours from the home we recently closed on. My current site would be about 1.5 hours each way from our new home.
Currently I work on 2 properties that total about 165 units. They are about 15 minutes from eachother. I have expressed interest in a transfer, since the commute would be 90 minutes each way. I am also not moving in to our new home for about a month.
Our regional manager got me connected with a PM in SC who is working on a lease-up. From what I heard, lease-ups can be very challenging and they do not have a very good work-life balance aspect. To me, a work-life balance is very important, especially since the home that my wife and I purchased, will require some work before we can move in in next month.
I did hear that you get a lot of commission at a lease-up property, but I am still contemplating how I feel about the "potential" of good commission vs the certainty of a difficulty of a work life balance. I also head the PM say some things that came across as red flags, such as this position has a lot of turnover and that the previous person left because they wanted a better work-life balance.
Personally, I do not mind, waiting out to see if a more reasonable transfer opportunity is available. I would prefer to be at a property that will allow me to truly grow at my own pace. I also do not want to work multi-sites, since that is what I am dealing with now and I am not a fan. This lease up position being brough to my attention is yet another multi-site job.
I have expressed some concerns about my hesitations of a lease-up and I was also given feedback regarding my performance when I was onsite to help out at this lease up location. I came across nervous or flustered, which is natural when you are not familiar with things.
At this point, I am leaning more towards staying where I am at for another month and then when I am ready to move in to new home, I will bite the bullet on the 90 minute commute until someting better comes up. That is where my thoughts are at now...
Has anyone experienced a similar situation or dealt with lease ups? What do you guys think? Feel free to PM too. Thank you again for your help with this stuff!

So I’ve been really really struggling with the idea of ancestor veneration. My ancestors were/are extremely abusive. I’ve done genealogy work and looked through my ancestry and it really doesn’t get better when you go further back and I just start getting overwhelmed by how many names there are going all the way back to the 1400s in some cases who’s stories I don’t know and I can never know whether or not they also did this horrible thing or another horrible thing. I don’t know any ancestors who definitely weren’t horrible, and lighting a candle and saying something like “to the good ancestors” feels impersonal and stupid because what the hell makes someone a good person? I just know doing stuff with kids means you aren’t one.
All the advice I’ve gotten is basically “just do it anyway” or “just accept the fact you’ll never feel connected to this aspect of your religion”. Or plant ancestors????? Whatever that means I hear it all the time. Someone else said maybe venerate people who aren’t related to you but I struggle with seeing this as me venerating an ancestor and not some random person I have a superficial connection to
I don’t know what to do. I want to cry.

Everyone can see your dumb empty car with nobody in it sitting at the curbside pickup spot while they circle the lot over and over waiting for you to fucking move your moronic ass so they can pick up their goddamn stuff. Everyone sees you when you pull up and get out of your car and waddle off like you're queen of the world and the basic rules of society shouldn't apply to you. And as we see you we hate you, and we think that you're a piece of shit, and we make fun of your appearance, and we hope something bad happens to you.
When people say things like "Humans are terrible!" and "People suck!" and "People ruin everything!" I want you to know they are 100% talking about people like you. It's not everyone else that's the problem in your life, it's you.

I am sending a letter to her tomorrow morning. I've run in by and warned everyone else in my family. My good sister, my mom, and my wife. I also asked a couple of friends for advice. You can read what started this in my last post. But I will include her last message here because I am mostly responding to that.
BPDsis message- "I’m sorry that you hate me, and I wish you were able to see the good things I try to do. I am a good person and I only want the best for everyone. I’m not attacking you for imperfections and I try my best to allow room for error in people and understand that everyone is just doing the best they can to survive in this world. I will continue to do the best I can to help or assist everyone to the best of my ability. If you suspect that I’m doing something out of spite or anger then I request you approach me about it and give me the opportunity to defend myself bc a lot of problems that go unaddressed lead to bigger problems that could have been resolved in the beginning."
Here is the letter I'm sending her. I've changed her name to BPDsis.
My response-
"You're only sorry I hate you because of how it's affecting you. Not because of the terrible things you've done. The "good things" are always thrown back in my face to be used for your gain. Like when you picked up the garbage downstairs. Then you bitched to mom that I didn't help you load it while I was sick. Even though I said I'd do it myself later I'm the week! You didn't give me much grace there and you sure attacked my imperfections. You're two faced BPDsis. It's always to further your own goals and to manipulate others to do your bidding. It's not genuine.
You are not a good person, not by any metric I'd use. Maybe in your head, where you're always the victim. But what's in your head isn't reality. You cause fights all the time and you say the worst things you can possibly think of and that's not just me saying that. You have destroyed every relationship in your life. You told uncle you hoped his wife would leave him and take everything he had. Is that helping the family? You bullied and traumatized goodsis to the point CPS was going to take her away and that bullying didn't stop once you were adults. Everyone is done with your shit. and you're well on your way to destroying your relationship with your daughters. The only ones who tolerate you are your Dad because he's hundreds of miles away from your bullshit and BPDsis' friends because they get you to do things for them. Everyone just keeps quiet to keep your cross hairs off them. Maybe you should examine yourself more, before everyone reaches the point where I am. Especially your children. That's my hope, that you'll read this and for once actually think about how your actions affect someone else. You'll see your toxicity spelled out in no uncertain terms and change for the better. So that you can have a healthy relationship in the short time we have on this planet. If not for your sake, for your girl's.
You're trying to be the victim. I'm not buying it. You aren't the victim BPDsis. you have done nothing but hurt this family and the things you've done to "help" whether with good intentions or not are marred by worries that you'll fuck us over or use it to manipulate us. Almost every giant fight can be traced back to you. We may have been dysfunctional without you. But you bring out the worst in everyone. You're sick and need help.
And why would I feel comfortable coming to "talk things out" with you. You're not my friend and as far as I'm concerned you're not my sister. The only effective strategy I've found to dealing with you is to avoid you. My whole life has been everyone tip-toeing around you so they don't get attacked. The problem isn't how I or anyone else interprets your actions. It's YOUR actions.
I've accepted that you'll never change. A lot of times I feel pity for you. Your BPD and alcoholism isn't your fault. But, you've never once tried to meaningfully overcome them. All I want now is to be away from you. I don't want you in my life at all and I don't want you in my child's life. I've tried so hard and for so long for BPDsis' girls alone. I love them with all my heart. But you've used them as leverage since I was 13. I didn't even do anything when you stopped letting me see them. It was a fight between you and mom. But I guess you knew it'd hurt mom more if I wasn't allowed to see them either. You tried to keep them away again the last few months too. Honestly, I was just glad you weren't around. It made me realize, I don't have to live with your craziness. I deserve better than that. And if it means I have to sacrifice a relationship with my nieces until they're 18. It'll be the hardest thing I'll ever do. But I'll do what I have to do for me, my wife, and my baby.
I hope this is a wake-up call to get help."
Let me know if you have any advice before I send it. I'll try and update tomorrow after I send it.

Now that you're here all angry and riled up because i said something about your leader, just hear me out. In my previous post in this sub i talked about how army is dumb for doing everything it is right now, and many of the responses were: we need a rebellion like the Russian revolution against the Czars (not necessarily a socialist revolution just revolution) or the French revolution against the Monarchy to fix the state of country right now and send them packing back to their barracks... Not discussing other factors, one thing I'd like to point out is, the nearest thing we've had to a Rebellion (recently) is the 9th may protests (yeah the recent Kashmir protests are something but we're yet to know what's going to be the end of it). But we all know what happened to "the rebellion" as it's all a thing of the past as most of the people ran in the face of state push back and the other braver(dumber) ones ended up behind the bars. Ever wonder why? Not because the state is too strong neither because people are weak, it happened because the motive behind the rebellion was weak, the people weren't out for their democratic rights neither to end military intervention in state affairs, they had one sole purpose to be there: that was to rescue their cult leader and free him from comfinement. That's why it ended as soon as it started... And before you say Imran is the revolution leader like Lenin was in Russia, think again. Imran khan, call him whatever you want but he isn't a revolutionary... Why? Because of several reasons 1. He's just another politician like Nawaz Sharif who used army's shoulders to get into power and then turned against them when they pulled their shoulders... Nawaz has done this time and again. 2. He isn't as pure as we were made to believe by the media back then, he has had corrupt people on his team and he has done nothing about them because it suited him politically. 3. Taking "U turns" was what he accepted publicly and openly... thats not what revolutionary leaders do. 4. He's not against the army being in civilians businesses and being corrupt, he's against the 3-4 people who ousted him and will take a deal if a new face takes over or if they promise him a way back into power by obviously their subservience. 5. (Predication) He'll take the deal from army real soon to get back into power or for a chance atleast. And when he does I AM SURE ALL HIS REVOLUTIONARIES WILL BE SINGING PRAISES FOR ARMY WITH HIM.
All this said i really hope that our youth actually does wake up and realise that a Messiah ain't saving us, if we want a revolution we need to start educating ourselves and our peers and our children if it takes, and working today so that in ten, twenty or even fifty years(if it takes) we are educated in good numbers to do something against the tyranny and maybe bring a revolution about. We need to recognise the purpose of the revolution (civilian supremacy and democracy) rather than being a personality cult and decieving ourselves and others.

So my boyfriend and I just broke up. We dated for about 6 months and then things started to go weird. We went back and forth a bit but he ended up deciding he wanted to be single to figure out his own stuff and hopefully work on himself so he could be better in the relationship down the road.
A week post break my old ex boyfriend reached out to me out of nowhere and basically said he misses me and still wants to be with me. Me and this ex have a lot of history we dated on and off for almost 4 years, lived together, did long distance, etc. he would be considered the avoidant type that struggle with commitment when to much started to go on in life. He says now he’s ready for it but idk if I entirely believe him. Actions speak louder than words.
My problem now is I could see myself being with either of these guys. My most recent ex is the kind of man who does want a future in the same way I do and we have lots in common. He has a good heart and he hasn’t burned a bridge with me a million times. But he’s also not with me right now lol. The older ex is much different then me but we share this insane connection I’ve never had with someone else, I know he wants the same future as me but idk if he’s really ready for it. I feel like I love both of these men and I don’t know what to do. (My older ex knows about the new guy and that we recently broke up - he didn’t know that when he contacted me though, he told me he wants me to be with the other guy if that’s what’s going to make me happy because he knows he had his chances, but if it doesn’t work out he says he’s waiting for me)
I’m just so overwhelmed and confused and I don’t even know who to talk to about it because I know my friends and family will think I’m crazy. I know they would tell me to find someone else and ditch both of them because maybe they both aren’t ready but it’s hard to ignore both these wonderful people. Granted right now my recent ex doesn’t want to be in a relationship but the other guy doesn’t even live here at the moment so I’m not sure I’m even supposed to do anything about it. I just don’t understand what the universe is trying to teach me by doing this 😭

"Music explains itself. It is the road and the map that shows the road."
"Can you explain how music works without using music?"
That brought me up short.

BLUF: Kvothe knows the name of music.
When Elodin is teaching Kvothe about naming, we have this discussion about how there are some things that can't be explained and that naming helps us to understand them anyway.

"The majority of important things cannot be said outright," Elodin said. "They cannot be made explicit. They can only be implied." He looked... around the lecture hall. "Name something that cannot be explained."
...
"Naming?" Fenton asked.
"That is a cheap answer Re'lar," Elodin said with a hint of reproach. "But you correctly anticipate the theme of my lecture so we will let it slide." He pointed at me.
"There isn't anything that can't be explained," I said firmly. "If something can be understood, it can be explained. A person might not be able to do a good job of explaining it. But that just means it's hard, not that it's impossible."
Elodin held up a finger. "Not hard or impossible. Merely pointless. Some things can only be inferred." He gave me an infuriating smile. "By the way, your answer should have been music."
"Music explains itself," I said. "It is the road and it is the map that shows the road. It is both together."
"But can you explain how music works?" Elodin asked.
"Of course," I said. Though I wasn't sure of any such thing.
"Can you explain how music works without using music?"
That brought me up short.

To dig a bit deeper, let's go to the frame story.

...he added a small, frightened silence to the larger, hollow one. They made an alloy of sorts, a harmony.
"...and the final ring was without name."

So Kvothe knows the name of something that has no name. Speaking the name of a thing which has no name leaves only... silence. Which can apparently create harmonies. To be clear, I don't think actual silence is the name of music, because that doesn't make sense, it's not a name. I think that silence is needed to heaknow the name of music because music is its own name. Maybe not all of it, not every piece, but music's name can only be "spoken" through music.
Okay whatever, fairly flimsy, I know, but for the sake of argument assume I'm right. How does Kvothe know the name of music? Yes he's a very accomplished musician, but there are many more who are as or more accomplished even just in Imre. To know a name, you need to learn about a thing for days, weeks, sometimes years. Long enough that your sleeping mind awakens and absorbs all that there is to know about it. If only there was a period of Kvothe's life where his waking mind was asleep and he did nothing but play music for hours on end...

...my mind used the first door [the door of sleep] to numb the pain. The wound was covered until the proper time for healing could come. In self-defense, a good portion of my mind simply stopped working - went to sleep, if you will.
Of course I played. It was my only solace.
Eventually I could play from when I woke until the time I slept.
I began to play something other than songs... I would play until I got the feeling right.
I remember spending three whole days trying to capture Wind Turning a Leaf.
Somewhere in the third month, I stopped looking outside and started looking inside for things to play.

To me, this is similar to the way he describes watching the wind until he saw its patterns and thus learning its name.
But hang on, music can't be it's own name, then everyone would be hearing a name every time it's played. That would surely do something to them; names have an effect on people after all. They stir something in them, make them feel moved strangely (see: whenever Elodin speaks; when a name is spoken but the person hearing it doesn't know the name; etc). If only music did the same thing.
"Thin, Albannach, very thin," I hear you say. And I'm with you. Surely, if Kvothe knew the name of music it would have more of effect on him. Let us turn to when he calls the wind the first time:

He looked at me. His dark eyes steadied me somewhat. Slowed the storm inside me. "Aerlevsedi," he said. "Say it."
"What?" Simmon said somewhere in the distant background. "Wind?"
"Aerlevsedi" Elodin repeated patiently, his dark eyes intent upon my face.
"Aerlevsedi," I said numbly.
...
His eyes caught mine. The numbness faded, but the storm still turned inside my head. Then Elodin's eyes changed. He stopped looking toward me and looked into me. ... He leaned forward and his lips brushed my ear. I felt his breath. He spoke... and the storm stilled. I found a place to land."

Is there a parallel with music? When is there not in this story. Many times, Kvothe refers to his music keeping him grounded and sane. Besides the detail above about him playing during his time in the woods and it allowing his mind to heal, I'll pick out one or two. After he got his lute back when Denna took it:

"With my lute back in my hands, the rest of my life slid easily back into balance.

Or playing at the Eolian:

"Offstage I worry and sweat. Onstage I am calm as a windless winter night."

Going back to the initial evidence about the discussion with Elodin. That comment about the road and the map that shows it is interesting. Sounds a bit like his chat with Tempi about the Lethani.

"What is the purpose of the Lethani?" Tempi asked.
"To give us a path to follow?" I replied.
"No," Tempi said sternly. "The Lethani is not a path."
"What is the purpose of the Lethani, Tempi?"
"To guide us in our actions. By following the Lethani, you act rightly."
"Is this not a path?"
"No. The Lethani is what helps us choose a path."

A slight addendum theory that plays into the bigger picture here: the Lethani is a way to invoke the mental state Kvothe calls Spinning Leaf, which enables people to better know/learn names, as we see Kvothe do multiple times. This is not an accident. The Adem, like the Edema, are descended of the first namers, and the Lethani comes from that heritage... just as music comes from the Edema heritage. The Edema music comes from Illien (who could be any number of namers/shapers who pop up in the stories: Lanre, Tarborlin, Iax, etc). What better evidence that music is its own name than the greatest Ruh (equivalently, the greatest of what became of the original namers) being the greatest musician travelling the world to show people the way.
In summary: music is its own name and to hear it and know it you need silence. Why else would Kvothe keep silence so heavy around himself at the Inn? (yes okay I know there's lots of other reasons he might but that's not the point of this theory)

Well, I don't have a formal diagnosis for both, but since I have Panic Disorder so they're valid due to the symptoms. What can I do for cope with my Godkiller Trauma and my Antitheist Trauma.
Well, I got Godkiller Trauma mostly because of God of War series and because of God of War Kratos fans and people justifying his mass deicides and mass genocides and still daring to be "proud" of the way God of War series portrays their personal gods. I even got nightmares with GoW Kratos saying things like "I fcking killed all your personal gods? Fck yeah, I'm the Godkiller. You must worship me now, and don't mess with me, btch, or I will fck your sh1t up even unto the afterlife. " And stuff like that. Also, what's the difference between mythology/fiction written 2000-4000 years ago from mythology/fiction written right now?
And about my Antitheist Trauma, it's mostly because of New Atheists, and because of the fear, material sciences might disprove all of religion, spirituality, metaphysics, esotericism, theism etc.

my boyfriend keeps being disrespectful towards me I (F22) been with my boyfriend (M21) for a year now and as of lately it’s been rocky. If you look at the second previous post on my profile this is not the first time something like this has occurred so let me describe what happened this time. So i’m at my boyfriend’s house and his mother was throwing a mother’s day party. When I came I bought his mom a beautiful flower bouquet and some balloons and heartfelt card and also a min cake. She loved it and went downstairs to chill. We’re down there for a good hour and a half and he’s cuddling/ laying on me. So this new ice spice song came on and I showed it to him. When I showed him the song I said that I personally didn’t like it and that she isn’t that great of an artist. He instantly started defending her which caused us to go into a full on debate on ice spice and other female artists who are more talented and don’t get the same recognition as her. It was like he was nearly brained washed trying to defend her. (He was laying fully down on the couch with his head on my upper legs and I had my hand on his chest)
He kept trying to debate with me on my person option until it got to the point of where I checked fully out of the conversation and stopped replying. This enraged him and he threw my arm away from him and a really rude way. After he did this it hurt my feelings so i moved my legs so that his head would be laying on the couch. After I moved his head he kept trying to forcefully make me put my leg back but i refused because of how rude he was acting and then I continued to be on tiktok like we were before this big debate started. Then he snatched my phone away from me (if you read the previous post he did this before but the last time he turned off the tv while i was watching it and as a result i picked up my phone which he snatched out my hand and went away with it )
This time I tried to remain unbothered and this went on for a while too. Mind you after he snatched my phone he picked up his phone and started playing it. So after acting unbothered i snatched my phone back from him and tried to get back to what we were doing before, which was being on our phones. After I got my phone back he said “well if you’re just going to be on your phone you might as well..” and I said “go home ?” and he said yea (I honestly thought he was joking and was going to say jk or something) but when I noticed he was serious I got up and collected my belongings and went upstairs he was leading me out (side note: his mom catered food for the party and I wasn’t hungry when I first got there so they told me to pack a to go plate for later which I did) As I get up stairs I grab my purse and say goodbye to everyone and that “(my boyfriend name) is running me out of here” in like a joking manner.
Then I circle back to grab the plate that I had made then he snatched the plate out of my hand and kept me walking out the door. As I was walking out I wished everyone a happy mother’s day again and hugged his mom (she was at the front door) and kept walking down the stairs and then his mom asked him “aren’t you going to walk her out ?” and and he said “no” and slammed the door. That absolutely crushed me, I couldn’t believe how hurtful he was being to me. So I just got into my car and as I was putting my seatbelt on he appeared saying that his mom “made him” walk me out and I replied “thanks” then he asked if i was mad at him to which i replied “no” (I just couldn’t believe he would even ask me this as if he couldn’t see how upset I was)
At this point im over the disrespect, the first time this happened we talked about it and he made a promise that he was going to work on it. I don’t know if it’s worth it anymore I don’t want to be with someone like that. He’s normally a very sweet and caring person idk why he has these sudden switches sometimes but it honestly is starting to take a toll on me.
I blocked him after I got home because of how upset he made me feel and he keeps reaching on different socials blaming me for the whole situation ! With a mix of saying he was sorry and that i am the rude one and that he doesn’t understand why im “doing all of this” im honestly tore between my feelings and my moral values :/ (This was a long story so I appreciated anyone who made it this far)
TLDR; i’m over my boyfriend’s constant disrespect towards me and not sure what i should do next

Do I need to share with my (23F) bf (22M) that I slept with someone he knows?
Now I know in a typical situation the obvious answer would be yes, but I feel like the circumstances are kind of unique so please stick with me because I need help!
Last year in January, I met a guy and we ended up becoming friends and hooking up like twice. Honestly, it was just rebound, I was in a dark place in my life at the time and the interaction repulses me in retrospect. Tbh- I don’t even find him attractive and he’s not my type.
I met my boyfriend about 4-5 months later, then we were in a talking stage for another 4-5 months. During this time, I had ceased all sexual relations with this other guy but we still maintained a friendship and I would hang out with him on occasion.
Because all 3 of us share a hobby in common, and me and my current bf were in a talking stage, sometimes I would be hanging out with the other guy and my bf would be around. Because of this, they have met on a couple occasions. They have had short interactions, my bf never liked him even before we started dating. So essentially, the only reason my bf knows him is through me.
I have since cut off the friendship completely, before me and my bf began dating.
I have OCD along with the constant urge to confess things so I’m having a hard time telling if this is something I should share with my boyfriend or if it would just be unnecessarily hurtful to him.
I guess the reason I am feeling guilty about it, is that I had disclosed to him another friend I had I slept with 6+ years ago when I was a teenager, and he was almost in tears about it asking who else he knows that I have slept with. At the time I said nobody because he only knows this guy since I introduced them. It’s not like it was one of his friends already.
I am worried he’s going to think I’m a slut if he finds out about this. We recently moved in together and he’s shared with me he’s afraid of me cheating on him, and that he doesn’t want to “find anything else out” like how he did about my friend.
He’s really an amazing guy and super understanding. He’s told me before there’s nothing I could say that would make him not want to be with me. But I don’t know if this is something I need to share. My bf ran into this guy at an event the other day and told me he wasn’t friendly to him but all I could think of was that he doesn’t know we slept together.
I want him to have all information about me so he can make a decision on if he wants to be with me or not. Right now I kind of feel like I’m holding something in. Help please!

Hey Reddit,
Just wanted to give you an update on my previous post. So, it turns out there have been some concerning developments with my ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. As I mentioned before, they both struggled with alcoholism. Well, she recently got arrested for a DUI and possession of marijuana.
At first, I thought it was kind of funny, you know, the whole "like attracts like" thing. But then I started thinking about it more, and I just felt sorry for her. I mean, let's be real, she's a hot mess, and so is he. It's like, no matter what they're doing in life or as a couple, they're still dealing with their lifelong alcoholism, so there's not really anything to be jealous of. It's just a reminder that their lives are pretty tangled up in that struggle, which isn't enviable at all. I guess this whole situation has given me some clarity.
Original Post:
Hey Reddit,
Looking for some perspective here. Recently learned that my ex-boyfriend, who battled alcoholism, is now dating someone who also struggles with alcoholism. Wondering about the dynamics of such a relationship – does it provide support or fuel each other’s habits? They both seem to really like each other and have fun.
Curious to hear your thoughts or experiences. How does a relationship between two alcoholics typically play out? I’m wondering if relationships like these typically have staying power.
Thanks for any insights you can offer.

Revenge is a dirty word for some reason. You're a bad person if you want to hurt those who hurt you, and revenge doesn't make you feel better in the long term. Justice is about righting wrongs and impartial yada yada. Bullshit
If somebody kills your family, how does justice right that wrong? The answer is it can't. You can't bring them back to life so the next best alternative we have is to take away the killer's freedom. Guess what? That HURTS them. Isn't that what revenge is said to be about? Hurting those who hurt you
Let's take a more minor offence - say somebody steals my bike. Justice would probably suggest that they give it back to me. But does it end there? No. The person probably gets a fine, a record, or even jail time possibly. So they get hurt in one way or another
Revenge is justice, and justice is revenge. They're the exact same thing and that's okay to admit

Sorry for the rant, this is going to be a long one. There are lot involved and leading up to this. I know my fiancé and I need to work on a lot. We’ve done therapy and plan on doing more at some point.
So yesterday was supposed to be a special day for my fiancé. It was her birthday and Mother’s Day. I want to start by saying she is a great mother and our kids love her to death.
Our relationship hasn’t been the best since kids. A lot of on and off arguing. We’ll have a huge blow out argument. We won’t communicate for a few days, have a half assed talk about it (which also turns into a kinda mini argument) then move on and pretend nothing happened. Things have been great the past month or 2. We celebrated my birthday the previous weekend and she made me feel very special.
Saturday was a kids B Day party and then we took it back to her parents house. My fiancé is somewhat of a night owl. She likes to stay up and drink her white claw or wine or whatever and chill. I use to be as well, but after kids and getting older and working a vigorous job I’m not so much anymore. I wake up at 3:30 during the week for work. And when she wants to stay up and I don’t, she doesn’t like it very much and lets me know.
So Saturday night at her parents, she’s feeling pretty tipsy, the kids fell asleep and it’s like 10/10:30 at this point. I’ve had a few myself and took a few hits from the pen earlier (only on weekends when the kids are asleep, it’s legal where I live) and I’m getting tired. We decide to pack the kids up and head home (3 houses up). She’s already making comments about how I’m lame and don’t want to hang out with her for her birthday. That she just wants to spend her day alone or something like that. I already know what this leads to so I say goodnight and head up to bed.
I get a text saying how she doesn’t want to go out to eat tomorrow (I reserved a table for us and her parents to get tacos and margaritas, what she said she wanted to do.) and that she’s not mad not just not up for it. I say ok it’s your day whatever you want.
A few minutes later I get a text saying I’m a huge disappointment, how I lack effort she’s done she’s done etc etc. I fed in to it a little bit and texted back which I probably shouldn’t have done, and basically said you wanted space I gave you space.
So I wake up the next day, everyone is out of bed, which is rare before me. Go down stairs and see the kids gave her her presents which imo was extremely wrong to not wait for me or wake me up. I’m visibly upset and ask “how was your gifts did you like them?”
The rest of the day she shut me out. Went out of her way to exclude me from anything she did with our kids. Told me to stay home when they stopped by her moms. Before this I went out and got her and her mom flowers and wine anyway. I wanted her to have her day. But she made it clear she didn’t want me involved.
I didn’t want to make it about me but I was extremely hurt. Fast forward to the next day, I’m at work and send her a text saying I don’t deserve this. All because I don’t like to stay up late. I say that I finally see I’m not the one for her. Which I do think, I just can’t stand the thought of our kids not having their parents together and being away from them.
Anyway, to make it quick, she pretty much says she’s hurt I didn’t do anything for her, that I hate her and she deserves more, how this is all my fault, I should have done all this stuff. All the typical BS.
Wtf? AITAH? Like I said, she made it crystal clear she didn’t want anything to do with me on her day. I was excited for Sunday. I was ready to make breakfast in bed and make her feel special and celebrate her. In so many ways she said she didn’t want that. Now I’m in the wrong and it’s all my fault.
/rant
TLDR my fiancé is hurt and “heartbroken” because I didn’t get to do much for her on her birthday/Mother’s Day because she wouldn’t let me.

MALE BRAINS NEEDED since they are apparently superior and bigger than those of women anyways lol jk So there is this brother in our congregation who had a failed relationship with a JW girl rumours say she cheated some say they both did who knows anyways...He really liked this one... So he generally has an obsession with blonde girls with blue eyes and he basically replaced the previous gf with a virgin copy lol... This guy has done some pretty bad things but he gets away with it bc of pretty privilege. When he goes out with his friends he shamelessly says that he finds other women hot and that he would marry for ex.a hot blonde nurse etc when he has just announced about his plans to ask this girl to marry him. He also said that is really important that the man is the head of the family and that women should obey that's how nature made things and that he doesn't give everything to his girlfriend... Anyways like three months ago when asked about her he would say that it's just a get to know her thing nothing serious and he would flirt with others aswell... I don't really know how this goes but in my opinion when you're trying to marry someone aren't you supposed to show respect to them by not commenting another women especially in front of a wide circle of your friends? Also his mother a few months ago had told me that he is not inlove with her...wtf Idk how can you marry someone you don't love just because they fit your ideal beauty standard ? Also when he is asked for ex if he will go visit her he is like yeah we will see ... It's so weird BC he seems so uninterested but interested at the same time... By the way as a woman I have had friends who are in just a relationship and some married but they never commented on hot hot otheren were and generally aren't couples who are about to get married supposed to be more loyal and like obsessed with eachother... He also never posts her he might repost her stories If she tags him but never just the two of them... I get finding.other people attractive but where do you guys draw the line ? He is a retired fboy btw

I posted this on off my chest a few days ago and most of the very few comments just said he had a preference and there’s nothing wrong with this. It’s been a week and I just CANT shake my mind off this. I keep thinking about it and reading into little things.
I’m just gonna copy and paste my original text and add some more details hoping a black audience will get me.
“I love my husband very much. I’m a black woman me and him have been together for years. I’m very close with his family except for his now estranged father who was basically disowned by the family for being racist towards me.
He is white, his whole family is, he grew up in a fully white suburban area. He very affectionate. He loves to play with my hair which I use to see as just a cute normal partner thing.
So on Sunday night I was at his mothers house for dinner and there was a new guest, someone I’d only met at our wedding and I barely had time to interact with. It was his aunt but he just calls her a cousin since she is around his age. They grew up very close and this was the first time she was officially meeting me.
The cousin started cracking jokes that to me felt racially insensitive. She was saying stuff like “this is exactly the type of person I expected you to marry” and I thought she was just being mean and sarcastic. My husband was blushing and telling her to stop which I found weird because usually he would rush to defend me.
Everyone else at the table seemed to be laughing. I think they then noticed my discomfort because then my MIL told me his cousin wasn’t attacking me and then the cousin started talking about how much my husband has always loved black woman since he was a child and how she was being serious when she said she expected him to end up with someone exactly like me.
My husband was like red red and trying to eat his food and tune out the conversation but I was curious so let his cousin keep talking to me.
She started telling me all about how growing up he was obsessed with black celebrities and black woman in general. When he say a black woman in public he would gawk at her. He would rip photos of bw out of magazines and keep them in his room. He would debate with his friends about how bw were the prettiest.
I was shocked because I know my husband dated four people other than me three of which were not black. Or so I thought. Turns out they were all black. His cousin told me.
He didn’t necessarily lie about it I guess I just assumed. He told me his first girlfriend was black once but the race of the other three never came up.
While his cousin was talking my cousin would keep interjecting saying “that’s not true” or “your exaggerating”. But the way everyone else on the table was just cackling makes me feel like they all knew and it’s all true.
The topic eventually changed and it was normal until on the drive home I decided to question him. When I brought it up his face got red immediately and he was stumbling over his words. He didn’t deny anything he just said “I didn’t really know it was a weird thing until recently” and he always just viewed it as him having a type not a fetish and he said his cousin was just trying to mess with him and he’s sorry if anything she said crossed the line.
After that I just dropped it but I cannot stop thinking about this.”
Is what I posted six days ago. I keep thinking of little things my husband does like he’ll encourage me to wear cultural clothes, and he’ll insist on always washing my hair, when I use to wear wigs he would always tell me how he prefers my natural hair and would tell me with a vigor.
It’s killing me and I love him. I want to stop thinking this so badly but I feel crazy. I even went through his following lists which I told myself I’d never do cuz it’s crazy!
Is this all in my head or should I be concerned.

There's a saying in the horror genre, they always say it's all in your head or it's all a dream, but my recent experience was neither of those, it was very real, and almost cost me my life, I used to be a night person, staying up from 12am to 3am, and I would take walks on occasion, but never again after what happened a couple weeks ago.
So one night, I decided to go for a walk during 12am to clear my mind over a fight I had with one of my ex friends, I walked down the small suburb near my town, I knew the town like the back of my hand, once I got to the park, I saw something that wasn't there before, a tall 18ft statue with red hair, big pupils and barely visible irises, a wide grin, and the statue had it's hand raised, like it's welcoming the guests of the park, I walked past the statue and I swear, in the corner of my eye, I could see it staring directly at me, but when I turned to look, it looked back ahead, I was getting weirded out already, so I decided to head back home.
I decided to take the long way home, near the grocery store and up the hillside road, once I reached the top of the hill, I started hearing some sort of footsteps, booming footsteps, like a giant or big creature, I shrugged it off to be my mind playing tricks on me, but oh boy... It wasn't my mind, once the footsteps got closer, I groaned in annoyance and turned around, expecting to see nothing or a crazy person, but it was neither of those, it was the statue, slumped down to my level, staring directly at me, I slowly backed away, scared shitless, then what happened next made my skin completely pale, it's mouth opened, still maintaining that smile, and I saw teeth... Razor sharp teeth, at least 3 rows of it, this thing wasn't a living statue... It was a legit monster, it suddenly screeched at me and I knew I had to start running, so that's what I did.
I could hear the booming footsteps of the creature growing closer and closer, I was scared for my entire life, running as fast as my legs could take me, suddenly I was pushed by the creature, which led to my arm getting scraped against the pavement, I groaned in pain and held my arm tightly, I looked up at the towering monster, as it planned to eat me alive, but before it could, my arm hit a rock that was beside me, with no time to lose, I grabbed the rock and yelled at the monster. "Asta La Vesta bitch!" I threw the rock at the monster, hitting it square in the face, it roared in pain and fell back, now's my chance, I ran back to my house with all the energy in my body remaining, once I entered my house, I locked every entrance of the house so the monster wouldn't break in.
I slumped onto the couch, out of breath, tired, and thirsty, I had time to think to myself. "What the hell was that thing, why did it attack me?!" I said to myself, I looked at my now bleeding arm from the pavement scraping, I sighed, got up, and headed to the bathroom, quickly though because I heard the creature's booming footsteps, once I got done patching myself up, I went to the kitchen to get a can of diet coke, once I did, I heard thumping on the window, I was scared to look, but a sudden bang made me, trembling, I turned to the window, and of course, the monster was there, still maintaining that sinister smile, it simply waved at me, then walked off into the woods, I quickly closed the curtains and hid in my bedroom, not coming out till daytime.
Once the sun beamed through my certain, I felt a little relieved, then took a 30 minute nap, once I woke up, I had a news report notification, my instinct was to ignore it, but the contents of the news report made me stop myself, the image was the monster, laying on it's belly, blood on it's skin, the article headline read "Statue Of Park Found Bleeding And Laying Behind The Grocery Store." After I read the whole article, I heard a knock on the door, hesitant, I went to check it out, I noticed a piece of paper near the door, I assumed it slid it underneath the door, still hesitant, I picked it up and read what was on it, it only said 4 words... "Bow To The Silencer..."
I will never be a night person never again...

Back in late 2021, my husband Craig (M46) and I (F44) welcomed our fourth child into the world. As a result, we needed to upgrade one of our cars to something larger. We decided to trade in my super reliable Toyota RAV4 for something bigger since I was the one who drove the kids around most often.
I was open and ready to embrace minivan life and was planning to buy something reliable and safe, like a Honda or Kia. But Craig had his heart set on an SUV; in his mind, minivans were "too feminine." So, against my better judgment, we ended up purchasing a used 2018 Mercedes GLS 450, mainly due to his insistence. He argued that this car would offer similar space to the Kia/Honda minivans I wanted but with added luxury. Since it was priced like a loaded Honda van, we went ahead with it.
After two years, I can safely say we made the wrong choice. While the car does have good passenger space, it doesn’t seem to have as much cargo room as those minivans. The reliability has been junk. The car has had 8 recalls during our ownership. Even when not recalled, it spends too much time at the dealership because something always seems to be broken. Some repairs have been covered under warranty, but we've still shelled out over $9k (maintenance not included). The car hasn’t even racked up that many miles.
Below are just some of the annoyances:

• The shifting can be rough. Sometimes, I press on the gas and the car barely moves, and when it does, it's jerky.
• The shifting can be rough. Sometimes, I press on the gas and the car barely moves, and when it does, it's jerky.
• For the past few weeks, the check engine light has been turning on randomly.
• Numerous electronic issues.

Since the car's problems have stepped up in the past few weeks, I'm beyond fed up. I don't feel safe driving it around with my kids and I've even started getting nightmares about it stranding us in the middle of nowhere. Craig always downplays this and claims that it's normal for the car to have some issues.
Making things worse somehow, Craig's sedan has started developing issues lately. It has begun to refuse to start some mornings and will sometimes shut itself off when it comes to a stop sign or red light.
On Saturday, I was supposed to drive our eldest to his soccer game and then take my younger kids to the doctor's office. When I turned on the Mercedes, it sounded very rough, the engine light was on, and the temperature reading was extremely wrong. I don't bother risking it and end up ubering with the kids.
I told Craig about it that night. He listened at first, but when I suggested selling it, he cut me off and said that he wasn’t getting a van just because I wanted that. It was so combative and defensive the way he said it, and because I was so tired from the day, I lashed out. We argued it got heated and I ended up saying "Your fragile masculinity is costing our family so much money". In retrospect, maybe my tone was harsh, but he was being needlessly difficult. We haven’t really spoken much since then. I'll also be ubering to work this week since I won't be touching that car.
AITA?

I wanted to share with you all the creepiest thing I have done in my life and I just did it today... So I was walking to my way home and I see a young couple(clearly older than me but young in age) in front of me they were tourists in my hometown and I thought they looked cute together. So I for some reason felt like it walked past them I turned backwards and said Do you speak English? They said:"Yes" and then I said I just wanted to say 'God bless you and have a nice night' and then I increased my speed because I knew I looked creepy asf and they crossed to the opposite sidewalk idk where they went hopefully they didnt get lost... Im not doing that shit ever in my life and if I somehow get all the luck in the world and one of them sees this post I just want to say no malice was intented from me and Im so sorry. Btw it was 12 at midnight when this happened

There's a saying in the horror genre, they always say it's all in your head or it's all a dream, but my recent experience was neither of those, it was very real, and almost cost me my life, I used to be a night person, staying up from 12am to 3am, and I would take walks on occasion, but never again after what happened a couple weeks ago.
So one night, I decided to go for a walk during 12am to clear my mind over a fight I had with one of my ex friends, I walked down the small suburb near my town, I knew the town like the back of my hand, once I got to the park, I saw something that wasn't there before, a tall 18ft statue with red hair, big pupils and barely visible irises, a wide grin, and the statue had it's hand raised, like it's welcoming the guests of the park, I walked past the statue and I swear, in the corner of my eye, I could see it staring directly at me, but when I turned to look, it looked back ahead, I was getting weirded out already, so I decided to head back home.
I decided to take the long way home, near the grocery store and up the hillside road, once I reached the top of the hill, I started hearing some sort of footsteps, booming footsteps, like a giant or big creature, I shrugged it off to be my mind playing tricks on me, but oh boy... It wasn't my mind, once the footsteps got closer, I groaned in annoyance and turned around, expecting to see nothing or a crazy person, but it was neither of those, it was the statue, slumped down to my level, staring directly at me, I slowly backed away, scared shitless, then what happened next made my skin completely pale, it's mouth opened, still maintaining that smile, and I saw teeth... Razor sharp teeth, at least 3 rows of it, this thing wasn't a living statue... It was a legit monster, it suddenly screeched at me and I knew I had to start running, so that's what I did.
I could hear the booming footsteps of the creature growing closer and closer, I was scared for my entire life, running as fast as my legs could take me, suddenly I was pushed by the creature, which led to my arm getting scraped against the pavement, I groaned in pain and held my arm tightly, I looked up at the towering monster, as it planned to eat me alive, but before it could, my arm hit a rock that was beside me, with no time to lose, I grabbed the rock and yelled at the monster. "Asta La Vesta bitch!" I threw the rock at the monster, hitting it square in the face, it roared in pain and fell back, now's my chance, I ran back to my house with all the energy in my body remaining, once I entered my house, I locked every entrance of the house so the monster wouldn't break in.
I slumped onto the couch, out of breath, tired, and thirsty, I had time to think to myself. "What the hell was that thing, why did it attack me?!" I said to myself, I looked at my now bleeding arm from the pavement scraping, I sighed, got up, and headed to the bathroom, quickly though because I heard the creature's booming footsteps, once I got done patching myself up, I went to the kitchen to get a can of diet coke, once I did, I heard thumping on the window, I was scared to look, but a sudden bang made me, trembling, I turned to the window, and of course, the monster was there, still maintaining that sinister smile, it simply waved at me, then walked off into the woods, I quickly closed the curtains and hid in my bedroom, not coming out till daytime.
Once the sun beamed through my certain, I felt a little relieved, then took a 30 minute nap, once I woke up, I had a news report notification, my instinct was to ignore it, but the contents of the news report made me stop myself, the image was the monster, laying on it's belly, blood on it's skin, the article headline read "Statue Of Park Found Bleeding And Laying Behind The Grocery Store." After I read the whole article, I heard a knock on the door, hesitant, I went to check it out, I noticed a piece of paper near the door, I assumed it slid it underneath the door, still hesitant, I picked it up and read what was on it, it only said 4 words... "Bow To The Silencer..."
I will never be a night person never again...

I’m slightly insecure over my looks. I like how I look enough, but I have a few big insecurities and I do care about my appearance a lot.
My boyfriend, (M20), doesn’t really compliment me - even if I get all dressed up - and if he does, it’s usually either that “I’m crazy out of his league” or about my boobs.
He likes to joke and banter, but the way he says these jokes is in a tone that I don’t realise is joking - so for a while I thought these jokes were real. He’s pointed out new insecurities too in these jokes - if I smell sweaty, if my lazy eye makes me cross-eyed, my hair looks weird and bumpy when it’s tied back. These are all jokes but they’re slowly getting to me.
I got to a point where I asked him if he ever found me ugly. He said “sometimes you look good, sometimes you don’t. I’m sure you have moments were you think I look bad”. That response is what brought me to writing this post. He’s honest at least, but I kind of wanted him to always think I’m pretty. He’s reacted badly to things in the past - when he saw my old self-harm scars and was verbally and physically grossed out (now he doesn’t mention them though). He also once said “I’m not sure I like you as much as I think I like you” during a conversation about our relationship which is another comment that’s really stuck to me.
When I brought up wanting to loose weight after one of these moments (as I’m becoming more and more insecure kinda), he responded with how he “shouldn’t of said that” in a way that made me feel bad for mentioning it.
As the relationship has developed, aftercare after intimacy is slowly disappearing. Although he is interested in me and how I am feeling during, afterwards he just falls asleep, and recently he’s been not even letting me cuddle him afterwards. I tested him recently (unhealthy I know) by saying I wanted to have less/more planned out intimacy as I feel ugly. And he didn’t say anything, just a “how would that work?” and then changed the subject. I thought he might be a little concerned about me feeling ugly, so ugly I want to have less intimacy, which made me feel worse when he wasn’t concerned at all.
He also watches porn daily when I’m not there (which I think is pretty normal for men), but he points women he finds attractive out on the street - as I’m bisexual - but he does it so regularly and even comments on their bodies. Which makes me feel like shit. His ex is literally a model and I feel like he thinks I’m a downgrade looks-wise
I don’t know how to bring this up to him. I genuinely really like him, he’s such a perfect guy who’s very considerate in every other way, so I want to fix this.

My mother always liked my sister more than me. When we had a disagreement, I was always the one asked to compromise. When I was unhappy with something my sister did, my feelings were always dismissed. She always let my sister talk to me however she wanted, she was never reprimended when she was rude to me, but I'll get reprimended if I try to defend myself. She often allowed my sister to borrow my belongings without asking me... the list goes on.
It sucked, but now we're both in our 20s, and it's getting so much worse. Now my mom is always unhappy with how I interact with my sister. If I talk to my sister, my mom "doesn't like my tone", if I don't talk to my sister, she thinks I'm being rude. Same for my sister's friends and boyfriend.
Once my mom went to a appointement to the bank with me, since she knows a lot more about finances than me. She talked about my sister during the whole thing, and went on a loooong rant on the bank not giving my sister proper information when she needed it. The banker kept sending me pitiful looks, it was embarassing.
She let my sister use my car while I was on a trip without telling me. I had to come back earlier and found out my car wasn't at my parent's house. Now, a few months later, she denies it and says she asked me. I'd never have trusted my sister with my car.
All 3 of us went to a bigger city to do some shopping, and my mom acted like I was a burden during the whole day. I was screamed at when I asked to go to a specific shop because "there wasn't enough time". I was ignored most of the time or treated like an annoyance, while my sister could take all the time she wanted to look at products or try clothes. And on our way back we got stuck in traffic and my mom allowed my sister to smoke in the car even though she knows I can't stand the smell.
During family dinners, I can't pause for even a second while talking to my mom. If I do, she will start a conversation with my sister immediatly. When I tell her I wasn't done talking, she says "oh I thought you were finished". Most of the time, it wouldn't make sense to stop there, obviously there was going to be an end to whatever I was saying.
There are more examples like that. I talked about it to my mom but she keeps denying having a favorite. My dad, my grand mother, and even my sister told her, but she insists that she doesn't have a favorite. Also, my sister seems to enjoy it and often takes advantage of it, which is not helping.